#i really do wish we got to see more negative sides of Liz.

[nellie-elizabeth]

Roswell, New Mexico: Two Sparrows in a Hurricane (4x12)

The blue filter is defeated! Huzzah! This was a really good episode.

Cons:

I feel like I have a decent list of little nitpicks, things I didn't love, but the overall pacing of the episode worked so much in its favor that I don't weigh these negatives very heavily against the overall successes... but let's go over them really quickly.

Tezca's death was the biggest negative for me in this episode. It was played up in a super dramatic fashion and I feel really bad but it just did absolutely nothing for me. Isobel and Tezca didn't get the time to really develop much of a relationship; her redemption felt half-baked to me. I think part of what made it less impactful was that she didn't really do anything in the pocket dimension, so what was the point of her sacrifice? In the end, it was Michael creating the fuel, Max able to hold off the storm, and Dallas using his water powers, that got the portal back open when Clyde closed it. So Tezca just came along in time to... die? I also wish, considering that's the last of Tezca, that she could have explained why she shoved Alex in the quicksand to begin with. Was it really just to get him out of the way? Or did she know that Michael would end up following him, and that since he has Jones's DNA, he'd thus destroy the pocket world, and that's what she wanted? I don't know, I'm super unclear on this, and I also don't really care, which isn't the best sign.

Eduardo's daughter appearing again felt like a waste of time, I'm sorry to say. A lot of watching this last season has been seeing things I wish they could have trimmed away to tighten the story, and this character is definitely one of those things.

While I'm really happy about the Isobel and Kyle development, I do want to say that their scene highlights once again the bonkers ridiculousness of this season's timeline... when Isobel said "it's been a long time coming" all I could think was... she and Anatsa broke up like five days ago or something. Lol.

I'm totally on board for the Dallas/Maria potential, although I do wish Maria would mention my boy Gregory Manes. And it did kind of annoy me that Maria considers herself closer to Dallas than to anyone else on the other side. Not just Alex, her childhood best friend, or Michael, a man she was in love with just a couple years ago and still considers a close friend, but Isobel too... all three of them are people she has longer and more complex relationships with. I wish the episode had complicated this a bit. Instead of "who are you closest to" make it more ambiguous, like Maria needed to reach out to the person who's been her recent touchstone, the person helping her the most with her powers and her current journey. Then, it would make sense that it would be Dallas! This is probably a nitpick, though. It's fine. Dallas/Maria is fine.

Seeing a banner that said "Malex" on it, and hearing Dallas actually say the word out loud... gave me so much psychic damage. Can we not, y'all? Please spare me. So glad Michael shut that shit down, Malex deserves a better and less fourth-wall-breaking wedding!

Pros:

So as I said, the above section looks long, but the overall pacing and strength of this episode means that my qualms were way, way, outweighed by the positives.

To start with, I was incredibly moved by Liz's arc in this episode! She realizes that her actions might have lasting consequences, and that she might have to reckon with brain damage when her intellect is something she prizes so deeply. I think that works so well as a conflict for Liz to face, something where she can't be at fault for becoming addicted to the alien mist, of course, but she still needs to reckon with the choices she's made that have led her on this path.

And we had so much good theming about individual accomplishment vs. working together. Liz is distraught over her failing memory, but she has Rosa and Kyle by her side. I loved the detail about Rosa locking up the mist. Liz says that this means her sister knew she was weak and would fail, but Rosa says no, it's okay to need help. In the end, Liz gets help from Michael, from Maria, from Kyle, from all sorts, in order to create the fuel that opens the portal. Liz is capable of great things, but she needs the love of those around her!

I could be annoyed at all the flip-flopping and unnecessary drama in Max and Liz's relationship this season, but ultimately I'm just happy to watch them be happy and cute together... I loved Max getting his powers back, and Liz's concern for him as he went into the pocket dimension after his brother and their friends. Echo has such good energy together when they're not failing at basic communication, so it was nice to see a bit of that here in the penultimate episode of the show.

Kyle and Isobel's awkward interrupted conversation, and then their kiss just before Isobel marches into danger, were both really cute. Cuter still were Liz and Max's reactions, where Liz drops her mouth open in astonished delight, and Max cringes away from the sight of his sister making out with Kyle Valenti. I loved it so much, and I'm happy these two get to exit the show with some measure of happiness, hopefully with the finale next week solidifying that they're going to give their relationship a real chance.

Maria played a more utilitarian role in this one, there wasn't a ton of time for her to have character moments, but I did like how this episode was really an all-hands-on-deck situation. She gets the info that Liz needs in order to open the portal from their end, and she also helps with the bait and switch, keeping the real console away from Shivani and thus having it in place and ready when Michael and the others are ready to use it.

So, aside from the accursed blue filter, what did I think of our last episode spent in the pocket dimension? Well... this was some premium Malex content, y'all, what can I say? Alex wants to marry Michael before he dies, and Dallas is there to help make that happen... but Michael backs out, saying that his vow is to make sure Alex doesn't die at all. This is more or less exactly what I was hoping would happen. I like how the bulk of the episode is Alex despairing, because he really does feel that his own life is forfeit, and Michael gently and at times insistently cajoling him to keep going.

The scenes at the Crashdown (or I suppose it was the Atomic Café back then) were particularly moving. One of my favorite line deliveries from Vlamis ever is when he says that being in this world is like being in a microwave for Alex. He says it with such gentle tenderness, his hand cradling the side of Alex's face and neck. Later, we get the moment where Alex encourages Michael to go on without him, and Michael's reaction was another real highlight for me. I feel like usually in similar situations the person who is being asked to leave someone behind will react with emphatic indignance, like "No! Never!" But this was a lot softer. Michael basically just gives him an indulgent head-tilt and is like "don't be ridiculous." Which I loved so, so much. Also, the line "my heart is about to explode"... like, Michael is keeping his cool, seemingly keeping it together for Alex's sake, but everything is on the line for him here. If he loses Alex, it will destroy him, and Michael makes that very clear. Alex seems more or less resigned to the fact that Michael won't abandon him. He wants Michael and the others to escape, he think his life is already lost, and yet he knows there's no arguing with Michael on this one.

One of the through lines in the Michael and Alex scenes is that Alex tells Michael to stop thinking with his heart, and making emotion-based decisions that aren't based in reality. At the wedding, Alex is basically like: "I'm a dead man walking, here, and it's literally my dying wish to marry you, please don't be delusional about our chances." And then later, he tries to get Michael to see that sometimes the best way to cope with reality is to meet it head-on, instead of living in the fantasy of how things might have been different. And what I love so much about this, is that Alex is... wrong. It all comes to a head in the excellent final scene between them in the episode, when Michael, the one who has been carrying the torch for the both of them, finally loses his hope, and Alex tells him he was right to keep fighting, and to not give up now.

I love everything about this, what it says about how the two of them work as partners, the ways in which they hold each other in check and also push each other to be better. The not-so-subtle truth of the matter is that Alex chastising Michael to stop being so emotional is a patently empty and false criticism, since Alex is the one who has given in to his despair. And yet of course you can't blame him, Michael can't blame him, he'll just keep going, holding him, doing everything in his power to bring him back home. Excellent performances from Vlamis and Blackburn as always... I'm going to be thinking about the way Michael's voice breaks when he says he wanted to build a home with Alex for a long, long time..... let them build that home, Roswell! We're so close!

Some cute moments I want to mention before I finish this up: Michael and Alex flirting about Michael's horticultural interests, and taking long showers together... I was giggling so much at the fact that Bonnie and Dallas have just had to put up with all their couple-y energy together. I've had an agenda for a long time that was "let Alex and Michael be a couple around other people", because we don't get to see much of that at all, and finally, this episode hit the spot! In a similar vein, Isobel coming in and holding Alex's hands, saying it's so good to see him... theirs is a friendship that I firmly believe in, even though it's happened entirely offscreen. I just got so many warm and fuzzies to see a little hint of it here. I also loved the sibling feels of Max and Isobel holding hands and going into the quicksand in order to rescue Michael, Dallas, Alex, and Bonnie. We got an Isobel and Michael hug, too!

I can't believe next week is the finale, I am already getting a little emotional about it although it also doesn't feel quite real? Six months ago I was just starting this show for the first time, and since then I've written well over 100,000 words of fanfiction about it, along with tracking my general thoughts per episode on season four... it's been a wild ride, everyone.

8.5/10

#review #roswell new mexico #roswell new mexico review #rnm

[codewordpumpkin]

The Blacklist 8x04 Thoughts

i’m gonna begin with the NEGATIVES first because i like to end things on a high note:

- having to watch Liz reach a new low (shocking, i know) by manipulating and using Ressler, tarnishing a genuine friendship/partnership/sibling-ship through sex

- having to watch the most awkward sex scene in the world... what makes it awkward, you ask? well, the use of body doubles was way too obvious + liz’s dead eyes (lmaoooooo the bitch was ice cold) i mean cmon, i know the lights were off but at least try and be more convincing, girl

- liz impersonating a cartoon villain + liz trying to steal red’s associates literally made me laugh... ah what a joke :’) + i still genuinely don’t understand why liz is THIS fired up on getting “revenge” and killing red... like yes she has a right to be upset for red killing her bio mom in front of her but like... she knew kat for all of two seconds and liz has somehow forgotten all about kat using her and putting her daughter at risk and also conveniently forgetting about all the times RED WAS THERE FOR HER AND PROTECTED HER AND SAVED HER AND LOVED HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i really can’t get over this “character development”... like at least give us a believable explanation for this stupid stupid stupid arc????

- tptb dumbing red down to allow liz to outsmart him... ughhhhhh cmon guys:

1. it’s MARVIN FFS! MARVIN!!!!

2. even if marvin was a traitor, no way red would hand power over to Skip or Chip or whatever the fuck his name is JUST LIKE THAT ugh

3. red (the one we know and love) would NEVER fall for the dumb ass ruse - airline tickets to switzerland with marvin’s real name on it lmaoooooo my god even liz admitted how lame that scheme was

3. cringed when liz got all giddy on the jet... taunting red on the phone as if she’s some mastermind.... bitch please

*now, finally, for the POSITIVES*:

- i actually love the fact that liz and ress slept together bc

1. she was using sex to manipulate ressler 

2. her dead eyes say more than anything i could

3. lol it’s like when samar and ress slept together... did anything come out of that? nope, nothing except Saram... aka ressler is just a tool the girl must use to find her way to her actual soulmate/endgame

3. tbh i see this as tptb killing keenler. i have literally zero worries about keenler being endgame. even aram thinks it’s a terrible idea lol “tell me it wasn’t at your apartment”

4. also park calling ress out for wanting to protect liz + park calling ress hot last ep = me thinking park has more of an actual chance with ress than liz does... which is fine by me

- *UNICORN* SOCKS!!!!!! (agnes saying they’re good luck + ress asking liz if she thinks unicorn socks will protect her from red) y’all remember the unicorn references in that one ep back in s6 (seriously can’t remember which ep it was but i think it was in s6) where i think brimley (possibly?) had some sort of UNICORN speech and at the end of the ep (possibly?) red and liz sit on a bench and watch agnes riding the carousel on not just a regular horse but a UNICORN??? ALSO THE SOCKS WERE R E D!!! coincidence?? I THINK NOT 

- liz taking her and tom’s engagement ring + thinking fondly of tom + talking to agnes about tom aka her agnes’ “father” = BAIT!!!! tom is dead (DEAD, dead) and not going to return except through flashbacks. I swear to god, tptb are using all this tom reminiscing to set up for some sort of revelation later on (a revelation regarding red and liz ofc... #agnesgate)

- liz looking gorg tho

- red looking gorg too

- shoutout to red’s associates who are loyal AF + liz talking to marvin in the restaurant as if she’s some italian gangster lmao... “you write your ticket... 50/50... i could make you riDICulOUsly RicH” lol also liz telling him red’s not loyal lol says the girl who betrayed literally everyone in her life lollllll please bitch go to your room)

- is it just me or is agnes getting blonder (yes i know it’s a diff child actress, but tptb chose this actress for a reason... #agnesgate)

- red’s very... interesting facial expressions (annoyed? mad? upset? JEALOUS?) when aram and ressler barged into cooper’s office to say liz called + red goading/pissing on Donald bc he fucking knows they slept together lmaoooo loved when red did his squinty face + his tone/face when he says “i believe you do... that’s what worries me” when ress said he believes liz was telling the truth about marvin turning +++ i also think red was more hardcore with marvin bc he was coming right from cooper’s office aka after his little butt-in with ressler aka after he found out liz and ress slept together AND HE’S PISSED (even marvin says “you’re so puffed up with anger, you don’t see it”

- this whole Sick Red arc being pushed in front of our faces and screamed into our ears (red repeatedly talking about his numbered days, repeatedly referencing his will (and leaving everything to liz), showing us red coughing blood + his many pills) just reinforces my belief that Red WILL NOT DIE... this is just bait + set up for next arc or endgame aka red and liz and agnes eventually living happily ever after

- Dembe telling red and us what we all already know aka RED LOVES LIZ!!!! + red admitting he “didn’t have a plan” in a heartbroken voice/face bc he’s a fool in love

- as much as i hate liz antagonizing red, i do like that this evens their playing field a bit, making liz more... worthy? capable? of being a partner to red

- love how murderous red’s face was when he warned the russian dude he better fucking NOT hurt liz keen 

* SIDE THOUGHTS * : 

- i hope marvin stays loyal to red even after all the goat torture... you’re the GOAT, marvin

- i wish we could’ve seen red’s reaction to liz escaping with agnes (bc he must know that puts agnes *cough-hisdaughter-cough* in even more danger)

- i can’t wait to watch red kill Skip lol 

- im sorta ignoring the whole red being N13 thing bc i give zero fucks to who red was (and the entire mythology of the show at this point)... i care about WHO HE IS... and that is a man who just LOVES ELIZABETH KEEN... literally nothing else matters to me

- i know pretty much everyone HATED this ep, but overall, i actually enjoyed it

*** END OF TBL 8x04 THOUGHTS***

this took me forever and a half to write + is not edited (clearly) so please ignore any spelling/grammar/disorganization/whatever 

#the blacklist #the blacklist 8x04 #the blacklist spoiler #the blacklist 8x04 spoiler #tbl 8x04 #lizzington

[meetmeatthecoda]

Okay so, I wanted to offer my two cents on that ask about Liz’s reaction in Luther Braxton: Conclusion. This is NOT meant as an attack on anyone—I find it 100% valid that the OG nonny (and anyone who related to them, including you dear Coda 💖💖💖) feels the way they do; they can’t control how they reacted to Liz any more than I can control how I reacted to that ask. Plus like, this is all fiction so no harm done? I purely wish to share my perspective, not ~present a counterargument~ or anything like that. :) Apologies in advance for how long this got. 😅😅😅

I get why you would react negatively to Liz’s screaming at Red, but I feel like?? That incident of all the times she’s treated him unjustly was (one of?) the most reasonable. Now, how she continues to act afterwards (regarding the Fulcrum but also, like, for the rest of the show welp) is 100% a continued bad decision in so many ways on her part and reflects terribly on her character, but her reaction in the immediate aftermath?? IDK, I feel the need to kind of defend her, probably because I absoluuuutely saw myself in her when she did that. I’ve (I shamefully admit) yelled, shoved, and even kicked at loved ones when they just wanted to comfort me but their attempts made me feel cornered and small. I’ve made logically unbased and ethically/emotionally unfair accusations against people who’ve done nothing but try to help me when I just needed something to get them away (literally or otherwise). When I just needed to attack something—take out my frustrations and confusion and fear and anger on someone. (And if Liz was like that, she might have latched onto Red as her target because he was the closest thing—physically, emotionally, and even in relation to the cause of that confusion and anger itself.) I have inflicted real harm on people while in an unsettling or unfamiliar mental state—harm that I couldn’t take back even when I could look back with a clear(er) mind and realize I never should have said/done any of that.

(Also, side note: when I first watched that ep and I saw Liz screaming at Red not to touch her?? I’d actually thought they were depicting her as being touch-averse due to the trauma and/or overstimulation, and I was?!! Like, call me badly coping but I appreciate seeing characters not being comfortable or straight-up being aggressive about being touched, even for just a moment, because that is me 24/7. Then of course a few more seconds and it turns out it’s not actually that?? Liz is just repulsed by Red’s Bad Guyness again apparently?? Whenever I rewatch the ep I still choose to see it as overstimulation though because, well… my heart is clearly very talented at choosing comfort characters for me. 🥲🥲🥲)

So speaking from personal experience, coming out of a trauma (or revisiting an unresolved one) is so stressful that it’s only natural to react explosively—even to the extent of unfairness and unreasonableness—in an attempt to protect or heal yourself, whether that attempt be justified or not. And honestly, I could even make the argument that for Liz, her attempt was to some extent justified. Of course Red would never hurt her, but sometimes a person needs breathing space. Like, literally needs. Maybe for the sake of her mental stability/health, Liz should have had her first moments coming up from her trance to herself. Does that make sense?? IDK if I made any sense there; I just know that while I never could have gotten to the place I’m at now without the EVENTUAL professional and personal support I’ve been blessed with, I also can’t fathom how much more mental anguish I would have experienced if I’d had people who knew me (or like, the “closest person” in Liz’s case) see me in the immediate aftermath of my trauma. Just… The state I was in? Yikes, am I glad only I saw myself pull myself together; I’d have had so much more to worry about with others seeing me like that. That might just be me and totally inapplicable to Liz of course, so I digress!

I’m not saying Liz isn’t responsible for her words/actions simply because they happened while she was in utter emotional upheaval and under mental and physical duress—Red definitely did NOT deserve that treatment from her. He did NOTHING WRONG. But with that kind of complex angst comes the inevitably mixed but nonetheless potent reactions of fans, I completely understand that. Everyone has different experiences and thus different viewpoints, and that’s fine and totally healthy in my book. Still, something about that discussion struck a chord with me—you can (and should) hold someone accountable for the harm they do while mentally unstable, but it’s possible and also healthy to do that without, yourself, harboring anger or resentment against them, you know? I had to teach myself (and those around me) that, so I guess I just wanted to put it out there. Again, I don’t mean to start anything and I’m so, so sorry if I inadvertently have. I hope it’s okay that I came here to explain my thoughts (and so wordily too, ack I’m sorry), and if not, I won’t anymore. Thank you for hearing me out this time though, I really appreciate it. :)

Dear anon!! 🤗🥰❤️ Firstly, I want to thank you for your kindness & respect for other's opinions!! This ask was worded in the sweetest, most considerate way & I appreciate it very much!! There's absolutely no need to apologize for having your own opinion & perspective, especially when you share & explain it so nicely, so never fear!! 😊❤️ Moving on to the meat of your ask - which is in regards to this previous one - you make such a good point!! When you look at it that way, the Luther Braxton Post-Memory-Unearthing Screaming Explosion is perhaps Liz's most justifiable negative reaction in the series LOL I guess looking back from where we are now - knowing all about & being completely fed up with all of Liz's awful writing & characterization in the subsequent seasons - it's easy to dismiss her reaction in Luther Braxton as something unreasonable & irritating & unfair to Red (which, to some extent - as you graciously allow - it is). But - as you generously point out - while that's a valid way of looking at it, it's also definitely worth examining from another point of view!! And I think your point of view (in everything ofc, but particularly in this) is so valuable!! I can relate at least on some level... I have definitely snapped at people, even those trying to help me, verbally & otherwise, when I lost my temper & just needed some space!! In fact, I think that's a pretty universal stress reaction & it's not necessarily something to be super ashamed of (but definitely something to be aware of & work on - a good reminder for us all!!) & it's definitely not a stretch to imagine Liz was going through something similar after being effectively water-boarded & having her memories so unceremoniously rifled through!! And, after all, Liz has one thing we generally don't... a perfect, convenient, willing catalyst for all the negative things in her life: Red (however undeserving of that title he may be.)

(And re: sidenote of touch-averse!Liz - Omg, I definitely thought about that being their angle at first too!! While I don't usually default to reacting that way myself [kind of the opposite for me usually LOL] I know that plenty of people do & it's 1000% valid as a coping mechanism & honestly??? A touch-averse Liz would be one of the more realistic reactions she's ever had 😂😭 especially considering the circumstances!! And hey, no shame about gravitating towards that interpretation bc it's 1) less painful for you & 2) you like comfort characters bc you 👏 do 👏 you 👏 but also?? I can't say anything bc the reason that I like that interpretation??? I love the angst of an overwhelmed & touch-averse!Liz unintentionally shattering Red's heart by completely rejecting his well-meaning physical comfort anddddd I'm not sure what that says about me tbh 😂😂😂)

Long story short, anon, you made perfect sense here, not to worry!! You were so respectful & cognizant of others' feelings, thank you so much for that, it doesn't go unnoticed!! You bring such a good point to the discussion with your perspective & outlook & I'm so thankful you chose to contribute!! I loved reading your thoughts & don't worry at all about the length, I appreciate your thoroughness!! (Plus, we all know I'm hardly one to talk, I never use one word when twenty will do 😂) Please don't hesitate to come back to my inbox any time to discuss whatever you like, I always love a little bit of friendly TBL conversation, especially since the show as we know it is so abruptly & unexpectedly over 😭 Yes, still grappling with that, in case you were wondering 🥲 Anyway, thank you again for your lovely ask, anon, I appreciate you greatly, & much, much love to you, of course, my friend!! ❤️

#The Blacklist #Lizzington #thoughts #speculation #theories #headcanons #Luther Braxton #mine #ask #anon #thank you for being so respectful dear anon!! #rest assured your opinion & perspective & POV are ALWAYS valued!! #and please come back anytime!! #:D #much love to you my friend!! #<3 #also lol @ me #saying last night that i'd be starting on my inbox #and then just #... #not #lmfao #sorry everyone #and this might be the only one i get to tonight as well #with nearly 30 sitting pretty in my inbox #but rest assured i WILL get to them asap!! #as soon as the stressful times in the Coda household wrap themselves up tomorrow LOL #much love y'all #<333

[poliel]

Surprise Egg 7/13: I Feel Great

Filbo ended up going to out to get lunch for both of them. Which felt a bit strange to do since Buddy was usually the one doing that. Of course, unlike Buddy, all Filbo could bring back was sauce, not that Buddy could eat bugsnax anyway so it didn’t matter. It would’ve still been nice to be able to do more though. Would’ve been even better to be able to do something more substantial for Buddy.

“How do you stand it?” he asked after they’d finished eating.

“Stand what?” Buddy asked as they stood up from the table with a stretch.

“Eating almost nothing but sauce. I mean… after Liz went missing and before you found me, it couldn’t have been much longer than a few weeks but I was sure I was starving to death. But you’ve been doing it for… I don’t even know how many months now without complaint.” And while carrying an egg for most of it too.

“I don’t have a choice so why complain about it? But anyway, now that Shelda’s back, that’s practically everyone, you planning on throwing another party?”

“I was thinking about it.” Before Buddy had come strolling back into town, distracting him with first their news about the Snaxsquatch and then everything that had followed. “I wish Liz and Egg were here too though.”

“I’ll find them soon.” The complete casual confidence in their tone indicated it was a promise without them even have to say it. And if anyone could keep such a promise, it was them. Even half-starved and run visibly ragged, they would find Liz. All without even whining about it a little bit.

With a sigh, Filbo stepped around the table to stand in front of them and look them over. Their fur was visibly rough and messy, a clear sign of poor health, nothing new there though. And… “You have more burns.” Places where their fur was burnt all the way away, exposing blistered flesh underneath.

“Yeah. I was trying to catch an annoying as hell scorpepper in the Sizzling Sands. But then the whole going into labor thing made that hard, especially since I didn’t know that’s what was happening at the time.”

“That must’ve been really scary.”

“Yeah, it was. But I lived it’s fine.” They brushed it off as it was nothing. “Why are looking at me like that though? I already agreed to rest until tomorrow morning. You’re not getting any more out of me so don’t make me feel bad about it.”

“I know.” Even if he could convince them to rest for longer it’d have the negative side effect of prolonging their stay on the island where they had practically nothing to eat but sauce. So the sooner they finished their story, the sooner they could go home and eat properly again. “Just… take it easy please?” He could ask for that much, right?

“Yeah, yeah, I’ll take it easy. Now, let’s cuddle.” They grabbed his paw and pulled him towards the bed.

*Around evening the next day*

Upon coming down from Sugerpine Woods with a backpack full of mostly peanut butter for themself and a bugsnax for everyone else except Gramble, Buddy was waylaid by Chandlo outside the mill. Not unusual when they were entering town from here but what was unusual was the concerned look on his face.

“Yo dawg, I’ve been meaning to talk to you since you came back from the desert the other day but didn’t want to disturb you. But… you really didn’t know you were carrying Filbo’s egg that wholetime?”

“I had no clue whatsoever.” If the thought had even occurred to them even once they probably would’ve figured it out. “Why?”

“Just… if I’d known I wouldn’t have asked you to take on the Mama Mewon with me, you know?” Good thing he hadn’t known then because that had been an exciting fight and seeing him come to his conclusion afterwards had been a bit of a downer but interesting nonetheless. “She banged you up pretty good so… sorry ‘bout that.”

“It’s fine.”

“Are you sure you should be up and hunting already though? I’ve heard laying an egg can be pretty intense.”

“No, I feel great.” A lie. But now that their body was no longer providing for the egg they should start feeling better soon, right?

“Well… if you’re sure. Take it easy though dawg, you don’t want to hurt yourself.”

They didn’t bother to even reply to that as they shifted their back around to hang off their front to make digging into it for bugsnax easier.

Chandlo wasn’t the only one who brought up concern over Buddy’s lack of knowledge about the egg and how they’d behaved while carrying it. And of course everyone had something to say about how they were up and running around so soon after laying the egg also. Even Shelda, who they barely knew, brought it. Though she used it as a ploy to distract from them asking why she’d requested they put a bugsnax in her ‘box of purity’, confirming their suspicions about what she was going to do with it. It made them mad but… whatever, they were going to keep doing her favors as she asked anyway just to see what would happen and to see if she’d ever own up to it.

On top of all that, they were also given updates on the egg. Which they neither asked for nor wanted but they politely listened to anyway. Apparently, the group had decided to have a schedule for pouching the egg and would figure out what to do with the grumpling once it hatched. It was very kind of them all to do so, Buddy made sure to thank each of them, especially since they’d neglected to do so properly yesterday.

A few days later

Despite the sedate pace Buddy set and them leading him up the easier/less steep way whenever possible, Filbo was struggling before they’d even quite reached the halfway point up to Frosted Peak. He wasn’t requesting a break yet though so Buddy kept going for now, being sure to glance back every so often to make sure he was keeping up.

It was kind of nice to go at a slower pace for once though. It gave them time to appreciate the view more and… to rest a bit because they were still tired and didn’t feel well. Which was just no fair, it had been almost a week since the whole birthing the egg thing, shouldn’t they be starting to feel better by now? Their body wasn’t providing for it anymore so they should at least be starting to feel better, shouldn’t they? And to add insult to injury they couldn’t even find the Snaxsquatch again no matter how hard they looked. Well, at least they’d finally found another lead on opening the stones doors so it wasn’t all bad.

Hopefully Lizbert would indeed be on the other side. Then they could interview her, getting the final things they needed to really make their story shine as well as the answer to the mystery of what had become of her and what was behind the door. And then they could finally go home and eat and publish the story. It was going to be amazing. And never again would they go anywhere for an extended stay without bringing at least twice as much food than should be enough for how long they planned to be there. Maybe more since they’d been sure they’d brought too much for this trip only to run out what felt like forever ago now.

They’d have to return soon after publishing their story with food supplies for Gramble and Shelda even if she was a hypocrite with her stupid purity box or whatever it was called. And for Filbo, if he didn’t come with them when they left, they’d return to see him again too. Hopefully he would come with them but it’d be unfair to expect him to do so. If they could get internet set up on the island then perhaps they could do a long distance relationship type thing. It wouldn’t be ideal but Buddy would be able to visit fairly often with the airship. Hopefully he would just come with them though. Maybe he might even want to go other places with them to? Probably to nowhere super dangerous but maybe…

As they reached Frosted Peak at last, they shook off the daydream. They had important stuff to do up here that would hopefully result in their daydreams about what they’d do when finally freed from this cursed island become reality.

The air was crisp and clear up here, making them shiver a little. It was nice though, cleared their head some. Taking a deep breath of it, they turned around to watch Filbo half stumble his way up too.

“We made it?” he asked in between panting.

“Pretty much yeah.”

“Oh thank grump.” He flopped down to sit on the ground and then seemingly unmindful of the snow, lay down too.

Buddy walked over to look down at him. “You okay?”

“Yeah, just… really tall mountain is really tall. Who’d have thought, right?” His attempt at a chuckle petered out as he continued to try to catch his breath.

“You could’ve asked to take a break pretty much whenever.” In hindsight maybe Buddy should’ve suggested at least one. “I would’ve stopped for you.”

“Yeah, I know but… you never ask to take a break, I have to practically beg you to. And just… lookat you.” He lifted a paw to gesture vaguely up at them. “You gave birth to that egg like… a week ago and you’ve already seemed to have recovered a quite a bit from the whole thing, not just the birthing but carrying it too. I know you can’t possibly as well as pretend to be but still… how do you do it?”

Hmmm… seems Buddy had been hiding their continued discomfort better than they’d thought if Filbo believed they were what could be considered ‘recovered’ in anyway. Since then though, desperate to be done with this island, they’d been pushing themself a bit harder which meant spending less time with him, so that might be why. Well, he didn’t need to know the truth. “I guess I’m just that good.”

Filbo opened his mouth respond but before he got a single word out…

“Hold on a second.”

Buddy looked up to see Eggabell approaching with a righteous look of concern and borderline fury on her face. Uh-oh, here came another lecture and/or scolding.

“Did he just say you were pregnant?” she asked as she reached them.

“I was but then I laid the egg like a week ago so I’m not anymore. I’m fine now.”

She didn’t look at all placated. “That’s means all the other times you were up here you were carrying an egg. You were splashing around in the freezing cold water and getting knocked around and just being reckless in general. What the grump is wrong with you? And where is the egg now? Please tell me you didn’t actually hike up to a freezing cold mountain with an egg in your pouch.”

Buddy had to hold back a sigh. “No, I didn’t. I gave it up and half the town ending up adopting it. But just for the record, I didn’t know I was carrying an egg until after I gave birth to it otherwise I would’ve been more careful.” Or at the very least they would’ve triedto be more careful. “And I wasn’t ‘splashing around’ I was catching the sodie. I was only in the water for not even close to a full minute so you don’t need to lecture me about that again.”

“In your state, after laying in egg, whether or not you kept it, you should be resting. There’s no way you recovered that fast.”

“I’m kind of in the middle of something though. In fact, all three of us are. So let’s just go open the stone door so Lizbert can come back to town. And then I can finally interview her and finish what I came here for. After that, I promise I’ll rest as much as both of you guys want me to. In fact, I’ll be able to go back to the mainland and eat real food again. So can we please focus on finding Lizbert instead of being worried about me or whatever?”

That finally gave Eggabell pause, her expression shifting into a worried frown. “I… guess you’re right. And you two are already up here so… we should focus on opening the stone doors and saving Liz. … Oh and uh, hi Filbo, it’s been a while huh?” She extended a paw towards him to help pull him to his feet.

“Hi Eggabell,” he said with a smile as he brushed himself off. “I can see you already know Buddy. How long has that uh… been a thing?” He glanced at Buddy. His expression remained pleasant but it was clear what he was thinking nonetheless.

“I told them not to tell anyone I was up here. So don’t be upset with them about that. Let’s just go open the door now and hope Liz is inside for everyone’s sake.” She set off in that direction and Buddy and Filbo followed.

“Did you really splash around in water up here?” Filbo whispered with a slight grimace.

“I didn’t splash around. I just stepped into the water for a little bit. It’s not even deep enough for Gramble to swim in.”

“But… isn’t even that still a really bad idea when it’s this cold?”

Yes and the water had frozen to their fur almost instantly but… “I had to catch the sodie. And it turned out totally fine, I’m sure you would’ve noticed a long time ago if I’d lost a foot or whatever to frost bite.

Filbo still looked unsure and concerned but thankfully was distracted as they rounded the bend and the stone doors came into view.

One failed attempt at opening the stone doors later and at the end of the following conversation between Egg and Filbo. None of which probably went down 100% the same way it did in game but it’s close enough that I don’t feel the need to write it since the gist is the same and the differences aren’t essential to the part I’m jumping back into.

“Please come back to town,” Filbo blurted out before Eggabell could finish turning away to leave. “I knowyou want to stay up here and figure out what we did wrong with the doors but…”

“Exactly! I need to figure this out and I will, I just need some time.”

Filbo grimaced as he lifted his paws to fiddle with them but he spoke with little hesitation. “But… if you’d been there before you might’ve been able to tell Buddy was pregnant and gotten them to relax more because of it. Or if you’d been there the day they got back from birthing the egg, things would’ve been a whole lot lessscary. And uh… while I happily gave the egg up for adoption with Buddy, I’m still worried about it. Floofty’s not a doctor so all they could really do for sure was determine that it’s alive. And I’m basically always worried about Buddy lately especially after what you said earlier about how they should be resting.”

Buddy took a breath to interrupt and insist such concern wasn’t necessary but… if given the chance would Filbo actually be able to convince her to come back to town on his own? So they held their silence for now as he continued.

“So please come back to town even for just a little bit. Just to check on the egg and examine Buddy properly. You can look at Liz’s notes again pretty much anywhere, right? And… and… maybe stepping away for a bit and coming back might be the exact thing you need to figure how to open the door. I know there’s probably not really anything you could do to help Buddy or uh… I guess the egg too but… I’d feel a bit better if you did.”

She frowned at him and then glanced at Buddy for a few seconds before sighing and looking at Filbo again. “So the egg is yours too?”

“Yeah, mine and Buddy’s. It was an accident, we didn’t mean for… it to happen.”

“Hmmm… I would’ve assumed you’d want to be a parent.”

“No. I don’t mind kids and stuff but… I don’t want to raise one, not right now or anytime soon anyway. So uh….”

“Yeah, fine, you’ve convinced me. I’ll return to town. Only for a little bit though and mostly to check on the egg but I’ll examine Buddy too if they’ll let me.”

“Really? Awesome!”

She sighed again. “Let’s just go.” Without further word she took off, without even looking back to see if they were following.

After a beat or two, Filbo jerked back into motion and followed. Buddy fell into step with him. “You actually convinced her to go back to town.” They were proud of him for that especially since they hadn’t been able to do so themself. Not that they’d tried very hard before accepting she wasn’t coming back until Lizbert was found. “Good job.”

Filbo beamed back at them. “Thanks.”

#my writing #bugsnax #filbuddy #filbo fiddlepie #the journalist

[1dcraftawards]

November Author of the Month...

Drumroll please.... our November Author of the Month is none other than the incredibly talented...

@all-things-fic ! 

Congratulations to a wonderful author, Liz! You can check out our interview with her below!

1.Did you start writing fanfiction for One Direction, or was there another fandom that you wrote fanfiction for before this?

I have one fic that I wrote for One Direction Fanfic Archive, that will never see the light of day. It was really awful, but everyone starts somewhere. I’ve shared it with two people on Tumblr and we just laughed about it.

I’ve also written a Niall Horan fic which has been flagged for how explicit it is, which is quite laughable as it’s tame in comparison to the Harry stuff (eek!)

2. How old were you when you started writing fanfiction?

I was a teenager when I first started writing fics. I don’t know if I would consider it “proper” fanfic though as it was riddled with cliches.

3. What’s been your favorite fic that you’ve written to work on so far?

For the longest time I was proud of the second part of Divorce Harry and specifically the second part. It just felt real to write. I can’t even explain what it is about that piece.

I think at the time it stemmed from an ask I received where I was asked if I was a parent - I’m not - but this someone said I portrayed aspects of a marriage and how children can tip the balance really well.

The sheer bitterness of two people in love and the juxtaposed feeling it brings was an interesting dynamic. Being bitter and in love? How? It happens. You love someone, but bloody hell don’t you hate at the same time.

And I think on the hand Quarantine Harry is the opposite side of the same coin. I love it because it’s so happy. When you’re smitten and basking. Your baby waking you up at 3am and meeting your husband on the landing with the freshly made bottle is a time to enjoy because you’re doing it together.

But soon enough the third child is sprawled out in your kingsize bed and their foot is pressed against your ribs and you're tired. This isn’t me saying the two stories are linked (I do get those theories quite a lot haha)

4. Do you prefer AU or OU?

Definitely more of an OU gal. I’m massively into writing things “realistically” because I think it’s so relatable and helps draw readers in more so. Especially if the writing uses and references visuals that readers are aware of.

5. What’s your favorite trope to write?

Would we call a long-term relationship / established relationship a trope? If so then this is my favourite. Writing characters who know how to push each other’s buttons, knowing what they can and can’t say to get the other going. Being able to write two people who can share as little as a glance and know what the other is feeling.

Sprinkle a bit of angst on the top for good measure.

That’s my kryptonite.

6. What’s your ideal space to write in?

I tend to write when I’m in bed quite a bit, usually really late at night and on my phone rather than my laptop. Often lying in the dark. Sometimes first thing in a morning.

7. How do you get motivation to write?

This one made me laugh considering I’m unable to finish a single piece of writing at the minute.

Pictures are quite inspiring. New images of Harry can usually start something in me. The images of him in the whacky joggers for example from set have inspired a scene in Quarantine Harry (who knows for which part just yet!).

8. Do you typically like to listen to music when you write? If so, what do you listen to?

Very rarely listen to anything when I write, I tend to like silence really. Sometimes this is so I can dictate into my phone.

9. Your dialogue is some of the best I’ve ever read on tumblr, how do you plan conversations in your fics?

Thank you for the compliment, it’s really nice to read that you think so highly of my dialogue. I don’t really plan them - conversations or my fics. I’m quite visual in how I write, so anything that you’ve read I’ve most likely had it play out in my mind and typed it as it’s moved. For dialogue I tend to speak out loud as I’m typing to try and get the pacing right for the conversation.

No, I don’t try to do a Manc accent… Just in case anyone is wondering haha!

10. What is your writing process like?

I write what I see and then hope it fits. Honestly it’s pretty chaotic. The only time I tend to plan is when I’ve got a lot of different scenes written and I need to know if they’re suitable for an update or what order to place them.

Then I read through them and think about the characters and how they would be a certain time and move the documents into another document. Then I close all the tabs and cry cause my motivation is nonexistent.

11. What’s been your favorite scene to write from Quarantine Harry?

One that hasn’t been shared haha! I’m joking (maybe).

From part one my favourite bit has to be the part where she makes up with him by taking him a cuppa and he gets a dig in about how she hasn’t brought any biscuits with her. Also the bit where he says “come an’ love me” meaning he wants to cuddle. I’m quite conscious I don’t really ever write soppy fics, so when I’m writing “fluffy” aspects they’re more so everyday affections. Like, you know someone is properly in love with you when they’re doing the washing up cause you’re busy, or they’re taking out the bins on bin day. That kinda thing.

From part two absolutely the entirety of the morning where she takes the pregnancy test. That was the part I had as clear as day and I worked backwards to the opening scene. I really loved the idea of Harry knowing his partner is pregnant before said partner knows. Him knowing his lovers body like the back of his hand so much so that he’s able to pick up on the smallest of things.  I knew I had to write it.

And how he casually suggested she took the test, by pressing a kiss into her back. His face finding that test and then being an insufferable sod and pleased with himself cause he’s in the know about the outcome before the MC.

12. Is there a schedule you follow in terms of when you write? Or are you more impulsive and just write where and when you can?

So impulsive it’s actually embarrassing. I cringe at myself. I know I’ve mentioned this loads but I really write what I see. So if I’m not seeing anything, I’m not writing. It’s quite frustrating.

13. What is one thing you wish you would’ve known before you started writing?

To not talk about your writing before you’ve finished it. I feel like I massively let people down when I post sneak peeks and then I can’t deliver because life gets on top of me!

14. What do you prefer writing, multi-chaptered fics or one shots?

One shots and then if they develop into something more that can be exciting!

15. What's your secret to portraying such a complex and interesting relationship between your main characters??

Personal trauma…… *tumbleweed at another one of my poorly thought out jokes*

I’m a bit stumped on how to answer this one. I think being well read(ish) helps you create complex characters and relationships, not saying that I am but I’ve read a fair few books. Life in general helps too, sometimes personal relationships. Just growing up. My fic when I was younger was nowhere near the type of things I’m writing now but I’ve got a couple (okay, more than a couple!) of years on myself since then.

I think just apply your own lived experiences and call upon emotions you may have felt through certain times that you’re writing should you have experience it.

Partly I also think so many of us are a little bit nosy. Sometimes we all kinda want to be the fly on the wall in the home of couples to see if everything is a rosy as it seems or as intimate. Or whether it is just raw passion with a couple of arguments thrown in for good measure.

16. What Harry era/mood/look/vibe/song/etc. do you get most inspired by?

What’s weird is my favourite era of Harry is 2014, but I wouldn’t want to write him like that. The current Harry is quite marvellous. I’ve never known anyone like him, he really is fine wine (the real album title…. ‘we’ll be a fine wine’)

If you’re asking what mood I like to see him in, it’s either when he's pensive and looks a touch pissed off with a crease to his brow or when you watch his joke his eyes before he’s even said it and he’s amused/pleased with himself.

His current look, mainly late 2019/2020 is quite something (hence the quarantine fics)

I tend not to get inspired by his songs but my two faves if I had to pick would be Woman and TBSL. I think they’re massive Scorpio energy and would make great premises for a one shot sometime!

I’m not sure if I even answered this how you wanted it answer but hopefully it was something haha!

17. Who or what inspired you to start writing?

I’ve always loved writing, I think it’s because I do a lot of it with my line of work. The person that gave me the push on this site was actually an account called @meetyourmouths. The lovely Iz is no longer on tumblr but she wrote a Harry piece that just made me think ‘fuck it’ and I posted Practicing. If you go to that piece the authors note makes mention to Iz.

I would also say @stylishmuser was one of the first people to reach out to me and be encouraging which has always stuck with me. Massive love for, P and still talk to her all these years on.

I’m now sat here thinking about listing all the lovely lovely people who have been so nice to me both in regards to writing and outside of it and I’m conscious I’m not mentioning them. The troubles of being a bit of a people pleaser. Hopefully those people know I love ‘em… You know?

18. Some readers are wary of leaving feedback because they're unsure how the writer will take it, how do you personally like to receive feedback? Do you want to be critiqued, or would you like to just know if they did or didn't enjoy what they've read?

First thing I’d say is please don’t ever think as readers you can’t be negative. Sure there is a way to present the feedback to the author cause writing can be quite personal, but everyone has room for growth.

Just come chat to me. Can be about anything and everything. A simple ‘loved the update’ to ‘this bit was rubbish’. I’m open to all feedback.

One thing to remember is there are a lot of writers out there so there is something for everybody. If a fic isn’t for you there are tons out there waiting for you to go and grab ‘em!

19. Is writing a hobby or do you have aspirations of writing professionally outside of fanfiction?

I used to think it was mainly more so a hobby, and I do still lean towards this. However, now I’m not so sure. My problem is I tend to have long spells of not being able to find balance in my ‘real life’ job and the extra-curricular stuff.

I’m dragging myself here but I don’t think my fics have much plot to them. I’m more so about writing the everyday life and I don’t think there is a market for that really (unless you have something explosive happen somewhere).

20. And finally, What's your purpose for writing? What do you hope to accomplish?

For a while I wanted to write Harry being insufferably British. I found it quite hard to find writings that I thought wrote him using Britsh-isms (is this even a thing?) and types of phrases that are common over this side of the pond. I wanted to put that out there for someone who may have once felt like me.

Mostly,  I just want to put pieces out that take people elsewhere, even if only for a couple of minutes. A lot of the world is a bleak place, if you find my little corner on tumblr and it makes you smile, that’s achieved something, hasn't it?

#author of the month #aom #November2020 #aomnovember2020

[salmonthestoryteller]

That Scene

Yes, this is about Roswell New Mexico 02x06. And I will preface by saying that I dislike the scene. That I view certain actions and motivations in it negatively. That I find the consent dubious at best. So if you're looking for someone to defend this scene, this is not the post for you.

Usually when I write meta or thoughts, I write it by trying to understand the viewpoint of the characters involved.  I like to understand how a character got from point A to point B.  And yes, objectively, it’s because the author wanted them to. But I like for things to be logical in my fictional worlds. I like there to be an explanation for why a character behaves the way they do. I like to see cause and effect in the stories I consume. So usually I write meta in an attempt to make sense of the story as it is presented.

I’m not going to do that this time.

This is going to be more a set of bullet points from the viewpoint of a consumer of fiction, a writer, and someone in fandom spaces.

So here we go.

What this is not about. (Yes, I feel the need to precede with that.)

It's not about there being a threesome, or a potential poly relationship, in a work of fiction. I have consumed multiple works with both. My objecting to this specific scenario has nothing to do with that.

It is not about gender.  Believe me, if you genderswap these characters it will not help the situation at all in my eyes. Nor my opinion on the objectionable actions of certain characters.

This is not about ships. I personally am perfectly capable of multishipping, jumping ships, and even being sold on ships I never imagined by good writing.

So what does bother me about this scene?

For starters, a lack of communication of interest in this occurring at all by the parties involved prior to it happening, which made the situation extremely jarring for me as a viewer.

And, no, Alex discussing that he was comfortable touching Maria over a decade prior while living in an abusive household as a teenager definitely doesn't count as "prior interest."

Do you honestly think who you potentially were okay with being touched by ten years ago counts as some kind of consent for them to touch you in the present? Who you were potentially okay with touching you ten days ago doesn't even count for present consent, let alone ten years.

So the lack of any prior conversation before Maria decided to kiss her gay friend and proposition him is very much an issue for me because it seems extremely disrespectful. As a lesbian the last thing I would ever expect to have to do is explain to my straight male friend I've known for years that I don't want to have sex with him. He should be aware of that without my having to explain it. And the same is very much true for Maria's character.

Maria knows Alex is gay. She is very aware of the fact he has no sexual interest in her. I can't even wrap my brain around the concept of why it would ever occur to her to randomly ask her friend for sex in the first place, let alone to kiss or touch him in a sexual way without asking first.

This is all before considering the fact that Alex is injured and currently has no vehicle to leave the premises with. Which means to leave he has to walk all the way home - or at least to the nearest bus if Roswell has dependable public transport - on a leg that is no doubt causing him pain  considering what they just lived through.

If Alex was an injured female with no vehicle to leave with, would you really think it was okay for one of the two people with her to proposition her for sex? Because I wouldn't.  And Alex being a male character doesn't change that for me.

Maria kissing him after asking him to stay comes across very manipulative, and Alex agreeing to stay under the circumstances does not come across as "enthusiastic consent" at all in my eyes.

This is before even bringing in the situation between Maria and Michael. I really wish people would stop saying Maria is his girlfriend in this scene - she definitely is not. She kicked him out between four to six weeks ago and hasn't spoken to him since. They weren't even in a committed relationship at that time. Now? Maria actually has no claim on him at this moment at all. So truthfully, she actually has no right to be kissing him either.

Considering Maria went off on Michael kissing Lindsey in front of her, to the point of bringing it up again when Michael came back to her, how is it okay for her to kiss Michael in front of Alex? How is that not supposed to read as anything but petty and an act of jealousy, considering it occurs in the scene right after Michael addresses how important Alex is to him for the first time in front of her? ("Both of you" meaning Maria is not above Alex in his affections. Which is the first confirmation Maria has that Alex's feelings for Michael are not one sided.)

Then there's the fact that she literally told Michael "No Lindseys" when they were previously getting together, meaning she expected him to be monogamous. So why is she allowed to bring Alex into their sexual relationship?

And why is it okay for her to assume Michael wants her back, with no conversation about why they broke up to begin with? And then request he not only have sex with her, but engage in a threesome before confirming their relationship and with no prior discussion about sexual boundaries or if this is something Michael would even want to participate in?

Correct me if I'm wrong, but weren't we told that Michael allowing Alex constantly back into his life after they broke up was bad? Weren't we told the fact that they kept having sex without communication a red neon sign for an unhealthy relationship? (And honestly, yes, it was, which is why I was fine with them saying that.)

How am I supposed to view Maria and Michael as healthy when she not only does the same thing, but takes it a step further and asks him to have sex with her and his ex he still has feelings for without even talking about why she cut him out of her life for weeks first?

My next problem is the morning after scene for a multitude of reasons.

If Alex's consent was so enthusiastic, why is he written as so upset over the whole thing the next day - to the point of referring to it as "what circle of hell am I in?"

Why does Michael seek out Alex to ask if they've crossed a line if he felt "loved" the previous evening? And considering the show's habit of visual clues, why is he dressed in black as opposed to the soft white shirt of the previous day?

And why does Maria listening in at the window next to her - seeing as she knew Alex had left and wouldn't have known otherwise - not feel a need to check up on the friend who sounds upset when she was the one to ask him into her bed? But instead, stays in bed and demands Michael choose between them right then?

I'm sorry, but all of this comes across as very bad to me. And especially bad for Maria, who ends up reading as jealous, petty, and manipulative.

It's not so great for Michael who seems either dense or insensitive when it comes to Alex's clear unhappiness the next day.

And how am I supposed to view it as anything but Alex being taken advantage of, regardless of how you interpret the original consent, when he ends up alone with neither of the people he shared a bed with the previous evening seeming to give a damn that he's upset?

If I had a hope in hell of any of this being addressed, I would perhaps feel less like somebody shoved in a handful of scenes they wrote while on drugs in the middle of a perfectly normal episode.  Considering you could literally chop both scenes out and nothing would change tells me the scene has absolutely no value as written.

The bottom line is that all these factors were completely ignored and  the scene itself will never even be brought up again because this is CW, and all they wanted was a big sex scene. And that is all it was.

I'm tired of hearing "but it was for comfort."

Considering I didn't see Maria having random sex with Liz any time over the last two seasons when either needed comfort, nor did I see a threesome between Alex, Kyle, and Michael after nearly being blown up at Caulfield, the notion that this is about comfort is such a pathetic excuse.

It was sex. Period.

It was for shock value and ratings. Period.

It was poor writing. Period.

#roswell new mexico #anti malexa #tw consent #yes it's about that scene

[tarotnoob]

Next in Love - pick a card

What’s your next love interest going to be like? Take a moment to focus on cards or earring, select a deck. 1.) Layered silver/turquoise 2.) goldfish 3.) moon

Please scroll to  your pile. All piles include 3-4 tarot describing your “next in love” along with a photo oracle for advice and an archetype oracle or two to further describe their personality-type. Nothing is gender specific, it’s all energy.

Take what resonates, it’s just for fun!

Hi, Pile 1!

Queen of Wands reversed, Ace of Pentacles, Wheel of Fortune Clarifiers, in order: The Tower, The Fool, The Star (not shown)

Characteristics via archetype oracle: Fool Light attributes: Fearlessly revealing emotion. Helping people laugh at absurdity and hypocrisy. Shadow: Using humor to wound rather than liberate. Denial of your emotional truth. 

Interesting. First off, we have a lot of fire energy (Leo, Sag, Aries), but there is some earth and air represented if we include the clarifying cards. Sag is represented in the Wheel of Fortune. This person could be a fire sign or have a lot of fire in their chart. They may have issues where they go back and forth between being less confident and over confident. Queen reversed makes me feel that they may prefer to be in control or have control in situations, particularly at work. I actually clarified the Queen earlier and got seven of swords and eight of pentacles. I was afraid maybe this person wasn't so... agreeable, but that generally means someone who likes to take on all the work on their own. So, while they are a BOSS, they're someone who might have a difficult time asking for help or, generally, is used to working out issues on their own, relying on themselves. That it's the Queen, I do think they have a very sensitive side, which is maybe why they can be a bit tempermental? I know we see a Sag card, but this reeks of Aries, lol. There's some stubbornness about this person. When I re-clarified all cards, I got the Tower. This is very strong Aries energy. It does make me feel that in the past this person might be a bit like a bull in a China shop. The queen is facing the past, however, so they might have learned from something already to adjust this behavior. The Tower shakes us up spiritually, and ace of pentacles clarified by Fool makes it seem as though after this shake up, this person has started over, maybe changed the way they see/changed beliefs, changed a job, re-located. It could be that entering a relationship with them is what changes them for the better as ace of pentacles can be a new relationship, Wheel of Fortune is good luck, a change for the better, but a large change.

Ace of Pentacles clarified by Fool (interesting as they got the Fool oracle archetype)... so I think they've softened up. Before, they might've been kind of sarcastic and snappish, more emotionally closed off, but something happened to change them, and it's almost like they hit the re-set button... they went on a brand new journey. They might have hit absolutely rock bottom in their career, and then switched jobs/relocated... and what's interesting is for all the control they might have wanted earlier, the Fool is really about risk-taking, so they might have just... taken a chance. Wheel of Fortune is clarified by The Star... this is rejuvenation, desires, wishes, community. I think that whatever change they made really refreshed them (spiritually) 

I chose one of the Liz Huston photo cards as "advice" and now going through the tarot, I think the white dress in the image symbolizes this person's spiritual (rebirth). That virgin white, that Fool energy. The vulture and the moon signify that there was some severe darkness, some big journey they went through, and at the end were able to transform. Also, being "relic", I do think all this negativity is in the past. It's a relic, but it may still affect them. 

The Fool archetype makes me feel they could be an actor, comedian. They probably sometimes still hide their real emotions behind a mask. You might have to urge them to talk/communicate to you when they seem upset as they might not be used to sharing feelings. They could be a writer. Or anyone who uses their (pain/past) in a creative way, one that might help others through laughter. Yeah, this really reads like a sketch comedian, stand-up, drama/comedy actor, but it doesn't have to be. That could just be their personality, using laughter and jokes as a way to deflect because they might've been through some stuff.  In terms of long-lasting, we do have a wedding dress and the wheel of destiny, so if you can help them open up more, I think you can learn a lot from their view on life, just don't let them steamroll you, make sure you have equal control in the relationship and that they know mean humor isn't going to work with you just because it's their defense mechanism.

---

Pile 2: 

This was complicated... okay before I forget. I kept back of deck for the main tarot and the clarifying deck. For main: Two of swords and queen of cups. For clarifying: Seven of Cups and Temperance. Oddly these themes are both about balance and making decisions. It may mean this person has a hard time making decisions because they have to weigh all the options or because they tend to make decisions based more on emotion. Or maybe they have a very strong intuition. It's an odd combination is all, to be emotionally balanced, but then there's something about decisions being difficult to make for them.... I'm not for sure, so I'm just putting it out there because you'll probably know once you have a convo with them. it might be that they often feel pulled in multiple directions or torn between... what to do or choose. It might be that they meditate a lot because queen of cups and temperance upright are very... emotionally balanced cards, healing cards, patient cards... and then there's decision-making... multiple options, maybe even illusion... subconscious... intuition...

We'll see. So, tarot, we have six of wands, three of wands, seven of swords and page of swords came out together. Clarifying cards in this order: Nine of Swords reversed, Ten of pentacles, ace of swords, Lovers. This person may be a fire sign with a lot of air, but there are a lot of air clarifying cards, so I feel more this person is Air, possibly a Gemini. Or has a very strong Gemini placement, like their Mars, which might explain these options/decision-issues. Tbh, I feel like this person could have psychic abilities or is almost like a mind reader, lol. Like it's easy for them to tell what people are thinking. Six of wands is about leadership, notoriety, being well-known or popular. Three of wands is also about leadership, expansion, travel. Seven of swords is someone who takes things onto themselves, deceit, lies, greediness. Page of Swords is... the opposite. It's integrity, honesty. That they came out together, I feel like this person abhors dishonesty in relationships. I think they want very truthful communication in relationships. It's interesting those cards were clarified by ace of swords, which sure is mental strength but it's also like... cutting through, clear decision making... and Lovers can be about choice. So... it repeats that back of deck energy... that very clear knowing balance... and then making a choice. I'm very curious about this person... Btw, three of wands was clarified by 10 of pentacles. It makes me feel that they might be in a leader position for a living, they could be a spiritual advisor, teach yoga, provide therapeutic or counseling services. I think they're a very passionate person, especially about social justice, law. If they aren't a well known ... social justice person... a lawyer... maybe interested in politics... a journalist... they could be a teacher of politics or sociology or history... very intellectual, well-read, good communicator, very clear thoughts, very able to read other people like an empath, but really I just think they're good at seeing through people, not that they aren't empathetic. That's what I think that bod is about, they're... so well balanced emotionally within themselves that they can see right through any untruths or hypocrisies. They'll know when you're lying, and I don't think they forgive that very easily. This is a very future-oriented person, they know what they believe in, there's not a sense of wishy-washiness even with the two of swords and seven of cups... unless it's possible that even while they can see through everyone, they might not be super self-aware of how others perceive them. That's very Gemini, lol. 

As for advice: The photo oracle is How Sweet the Hum, and I think this suits their Temperance/Queen of Cups yoga energy. I think they're pretty well-balanced, calm under pressure, easy-going for the most part. They might listen to music to chill out or while they exercise. The yellow of her dress makes me feel they're a positive person, an idealist. A sweet, calm temperament. I think they really like spring, sunshine, bright colors. Prefer sunshine, maybe an environmentalist hardcore. They may like to travel or be from another country... might have red hair or Irish heritage, that'll be... specific cases, heh. Scottish. 

Anyway, in terms of personality, we have Servant, which means they enjoy helping others. They're a charitable person. I think they help those who are disadvantaged. They, again, could be a teacher or involved in social justice careers or a civil servant, journalist, politician, lawyer, or just very outspoken about world issues. I decided to draw another and got Companion. Again, loyal, tenaciousness, unselfishness... I really feel that page of swords was trying to attack the seven of swords guy; this person also wouldn't like to leave people on their own if they need help; and if they see anyone taking advantage or stealing or deceiving - they'll fight them, heh. With words or... maybe a literal sword xD

Companion card reminds me of the Lovers card...  so I think the light qualities of this card are also what they're seeking in a partner. They'll treat you as an equal, just don't keep secrets from them because if you do, they'll know it...  this person is very confident in where they're going, very brave, very loyal. It would probably take an equally confident and driven person to keep up with them because they aren't a slacker, and their mind is always going even when they look calm on the outside...  but I do think they need a "sidekick" to keep them out of trouble. You might need to be the Robin to their Batman, heh.

---

Pile 3: 

Well this person is definitely a fighter. The oracle may say prince, but I think that's in the sense of prince charming... and not a spoiled prince, but like... a knight. Like... King Arthur style, but a prince. I had a lot of royal cards come up and going through the archetype, back of deck cards are things like "rescuer," "knight," "mediator." Even just looking at the tarot cards, there's a sense of toughness, being a fighter, conflicts, bandages, being a knight who rushes in, eight of wands is also fast energy. We have two fire cards and two air cards, and I do sense a lot of fiery passion as well as the conflict and rashness of air... I don't think they're a king yet, though, because the prince oracle says "potential" for power, and the fledgling card seems to be about someone who hasn't gotten their wings yet and has probably fallen many times but keeps getting back up. Funny since the back of the deck for that photo oracle is "procession" and the person walking in it is holding a feather in each hand...  I'm sure this person is still on their journey.

Eight of wands, this person doesn't hesitate often, they're very quick to act first, even in the heat of the moment. Five of swords reversed can go a couple of ways, either not willing to admit defeat or realizing conflict isn't worth it or conflict tends to follow this person around. Not sure if they're from a rough background, in the military, police, etc... I do think looking at the nine of wands man glaring at the guy in five of swords and how they aren't seeing eye to eye and he's bandaged as if he's one of the guys walking away, that this person is rather wary of conflict. Of course if it's always following, you'd be pretty tired of it. But, hey, if you act first before thinking, conflict can happen frequently. Kind of reminds me of the energy of the guys in Good Will Hunting, from like the south part of Boston, and they're a bit street tough. They're probably a street smart person, good common sense. Other than rushing into things. They'd definitely be exciting, and even if they're a bareknuckle boxer or cage fighter, inside they're... a romantic, at least in terms of love. I don't see here that they're great with words or a poet, but in the sense that they'll save you if someone's trying to take your purse, they'll be that person who steps in and kicks the person in the face. Anti-hero hero.

I do think they're a very hard worker. I don't think they're a slacker. I saw seven of pentacles at the back... a queen of pentacles behind that, so again there's a nurturing nature, with all the capability of having their own business, running their own show, growing what they need to grow... I think they can juggle a lot of really hard tasks, just naturally. Almost as if in another life, they really were a knight-prince-royalty person and then got reborn as... a street-wise... knight slash... sweet-hearted hoodlum with their own sense of justice. I get that sense of being quite hard but... not mean (at least not to friends or lovers)... if they're a prince it's in the sense that they'd be a mafia boss. Or one of those detectives on tv that ... they're not crooked, but sometimes they do what they have to to get the bad guy which might mean kicking in the bad guy's face... I think you get the point. I do think they're very smooth, very attractive, easily charming, able to seduce you and (anyone) if they want to because they're charming in that... ruggish kinda way. And this can apply to any gender. I keep alluding to men, but do you know the character Corky from uh god what was that film about two women who have to fuck over some mobsters... Bound. So if you're a woman who likes women... or non-binary person who likes women, then that woman might be like Corky, which... is pretty hot. Oh wait, yeah straight dudes too. Lol. If you're a straight man reading this... Lara Croft? But more street. Nikita? Girl from the Dragon Tattoo... >.> wait I forget if she's bi or only into women... anyway, regardless. I also sense this person has had a lot of start and stops. What's important though is I think they get up every time of their own volition. Admittedly this person is hot... there's something about them haha. I did clarify so eight of wands clarified by six of swords reversed, odd b/c that's stuck energy while eight of wands is fast energy... so that tells me that this pattern of recklessly just... acting first is something they've been doing often throughout their life, which is probably all the falling/get back up energy. Five of swords reversed clarified by queen of pentacles reversed.... 

Maybe when younger they tended to pick fights, especially with people who they thought had more than them... like if a couple of rich kids teased them for wearing hand me down clothes, this person might've clocked them...  it really reminds me of someone who grew up as a crook and suddenly becomes a (non shitty) cop energy. Maybe they felt like they weren't able to be successful at anything so they were one of those angry youths, maybe they had issues with their mother, too. Maybe she was out of the picture, and they had to raise their siblings. It seems very dramatic. Nine of wands is clarified by hanged man, and that's about letting go and changing your perspective. It's interesting because the placement of the nine of wands next to five of swords reversed - like I said - means they're not seeing eye to eye and are mirroring one another... so it's as if nine of wands guy is looking back at his hold self after accumulating so many "war injuries", so maybe seeing from this new perspective allowed them to make some changes in their life because knight of swords is clarified by justice... again we end on that knight energy but... it's like the other side of justice, not self righteous naive by the book person but... tough cop. 

As a note, I'm not taking photos of the clarifying cards but this justice card is a knife (well the sword of damocles) ... and i just googled that even tho i've heard the phrase, but it's alluding to the peril one faces when they hold a position of power... and that damocles was a courtier in the court of Dionysius II >.> so a courtier and also this sense of knowing the precariousness of being in power. That's especially interesting times one thousand because we saw the "potential" for power and also this rise and fall energy... anyway so that card is the Justice card with the sword hanging over the eye and one side of the scale has a feather, odd because the photo oracles have to do with flying and feathers...  feathers symbolically (googled this) are strength, honor... typical knight/king/prince jargon...  in conclusion it's a real rags to riches to rags to riches mob boss loses position to bad guy gets it back and serves vengeance... sort of... story... and also there's some sexy love scenes.

Maybe you'll marry John Cena. That big bad tough guy with a heart of gold... So if you're into bad boys who aren't all that bad and are even regal in nature if you squint with some serious sense of street style justice... good choice pile 3. this person makes me all... excited for you. >.>

As for what they're looking for... I think a queen of pentacles... a very nurturing, loving, loyal person... but also the honorable-ness of a queen of swords, but maybe a queen of swords reversed... not a goody two-shoes or maybe they have that kind of a kink...  but definitely a queen. Someone strong, someone kind, someone loyal, someone who says what's on their mind, but isn't cold... you could be tough, just not uncaring. You don't have to have a similar rough b/g... this sounds like a k-drama scenario, I swear, where like the tough street kid meets the well-educated girl from the right side of the tracks... but you also took jiu-jitsu when you were younger so that you can help them in a fight... yeah. Sounds romantic.

#tarot reading #free tarot reading #love reading #pick a card #next in love #archetype oracle #personality #love tarot

[elizabethvaughns]

so i've been mulling over this for quite a bit now, so i might as well articulate my thoughts and get them out onto this blog. so i was just thinking: subjectively or objectively, which one is better? the if/then dc preview or the broadway production? long post (1750+ words), so i'm putting a read more break <3

now, objectively at the very least, i know i have to say it's the broadway production. why wouldn't it be? it's a lot more polished, it's...the final draft, of sorts, of the production. we all know the final draft is usually better than the rough draft. but here's the thing. when it comes to an artwork that has several different versions, one tends to gravitate toward the version they saw first and have a certain bias against all the other versions. if you saw the bway version first or the dc version first, you probably like that one more. now i'm not saying this bias is conscious by any means. absolutely not. however, when one falls in love with some media, in my case at least, they take it in over and over and over again. and then they get so used to that one thing that all other versions seem weird. i can pinpoint two non-if/then instances in my life where such a thing happened.

in the summer of 2018, i watched the RENT movie on netflix. now i was fully intending to listen to the obc soundtrack before watching the movie, but i never really got to it. anyways, that movie was like love at first...watch to me. oh man, i loved it so, so much. so i downloaded the soundtrack on my phone and, you guessed it, listened to it over and over and over and over again. one fine day, (about a few weeks after, actually) i realized i never actually had listened to the obc soundtrack. so i did. and it sounded...odd to say the very least. i mean, some of the voices were different, sometimes the lines were changed, all in all, a confusing experience. to say the least, if you asked me back then which version i preferred, i would've readily said the movie version. but now, three years in retrospect, i'm not so sure. the obc version is a lot more...complete, i like the vocals more, and i'm now salty that "christmas bells" as a song was cut. evidently, i like the obc version more(but i still love the movie version hell it's still one of my comfort movies).

in the fall of 2019, i listened to falsettos. i actually listened to both the obc and the 2016 revival cast recordings. i guess that lessened the bias a bit because i was exposed to both versions at about the same time. on the fateful date of 2 october 2019, i watched the falsettos revival proshot. that's when i truly fell in love with this musical. but, even so, my initial exposure was to both recordings so even though i had a slight bias toward the 2016 version, i still loved both of them.

now, back to if/then. i actually find it difficult to pinpoint where exactly my exposure to if/then started. was it the very first time i heard about it in 2018 when i read a very meta RENT fanfic on ff.net where elizabeth made an appearance and i thought "what the fuck"(pun very much intended)"is if/then" (psst if you find the fic could you please drop the link in the replies meta fic isn't really my shit but i want to reread it for nostalgia's sake)? or was it the very first time i listened to the obc recording in 2020? or was it the boot of a broadway production that i first saw on 13 march 2021? whichever one i pick, they all lead to the same conclusion: i naturally gravitated(and sometimes still do) toward the broadway production because it was the first version of if/then that i was exposed to.

now sometime in early april 2021 over my spring break, i watched a recording of the dc production. i knew beforehand that this production is a preview, after which some changes had been made, resulting in the broadway show. since those changes were obviously made to better the production, it would be a logical conclusion that the very presence of those changes entailed a...worse production (not considering the fact that the interpretation and the very liking of art is entirely subjective). one could say i entered the watching experience with an unconscious bias, of sorts.

from the very first note, i was caught off-guard. i didn't know they changed this much. when i watched the bway production, i was just enjoying it for all it was worth. but when i was watching the dc preview, i was comparing it constantly to its broadway counterpart. oh, david's shirt colour is different here. oh, anne's wearing a pantsuit instead of a dress(cute). oh, time for hey kid! oh wait no they put "the moment explodes" right here. also, i was just humming along to the songs, just mouthing along the lyrics(because i have them all memorized), and every now and then and getting thrown way off-track when the tune remained the same but the lyrics changed. most notably, in "walking by a wedding" and "you learn to live without". all in all, i had what one could consider negative opinions about the dc production because of that bias.

but then i watched it second time. a third time. a fourth, fifth, sixth time. and over that time, i fell more and more in love with that production. as i've said before, the interpretation of art is wholly subjective–what one may consider a shortcoming of a particular piece, another may consider a strength. let me take the placement of "the moment explodes", for example. in the dc production, it's before "some other me". therefore, the line "every friend i ever knew or thought i did" doesn't hit as hard because we don't know her situation with lucas yet. even so, "some other me" hits twice as hard because lucas is an even bigger asshole now. in comparison, however, "the moment explodes" is after "some other me" in bway as you all know. so the aforementioned line holds a much greater significance when compared to its dc counterpart. however, one could also consider that line (in the dc production) as a sort of foreshadowing for the reveal in "some other me" of the new normal of beth and lucas's friendship (or the lack thereof).

obviously, some changes were most definitely welcome, "this day" to be more specific. of course, there was that little reprising of "what if?" near the end of "this day" in the dc production which i really loved, but all in all, the mood of "this day" was much more fun and enthusiastic in bway as opposed to dc, which in my opinion is an excellent way to start an act. in contrast, some changes were...not as welcome. i don't know about you, but personally, i really enjoyed two cut scenes from "the story of jane"("no more wasted time" dc version). first, the scene where kate brings her kindergarteners to beth. it was fun to see higgs squirm. second, the scene where elena and beth's interaction parallels beth and stephen's in "map of new york". narrative-wise, i think that it is an incredibly important scene as we get to see two sort of boss-employee relationships mirrored to each other, only beth does it well as a boss (if that makes any sense). we see beth as passionate but still sort of hesitant in mony but she grows to be more self-assured by nmwt, and i think the aforementioned scene only cements that notion as beth takes on the role of mentor for elena. also, "the story of jane" was a really fun song and, as much as i love "no more wasted time", i wish it still contained elements of "story of jane". and while i did enjoy the reshuffling of "the moment explodes" such that it became clear when beth and lucas made up in the bway production, they were ultimately still...not talking during "you learn to live without. as a result, we miss that one scene from the dc production where lucas and kate attend beth's awards ceremony and shoo stephen. and need i talk about the lucas/david duet verse("you get that we're connected, / i feel like you get me") in "ain't no man manhattan"? honestly, i feel like dc anmm was, all in all, better than bway anmm–especially that one verse where lucas sings to this other dude about how everyone is connected(no, not the one to stephen, the one after that. the one that ends with "[something something] / who you helped get elected").

also the situations with stephen and with kate/anne in both timelines were relatively clearer in the dc production. even so, the actual distinguishing of the timelines was better in the bway production.

in conclusion, the relative merit of each production(broadway vs. dc) is really up to the interpretation of each viewer. scenes that may seem weak to one may be considered narratively important to another. both productions have their own merits and flaws.

to me, both productions are equally good. my previous assertion/assumption that the final draft is always better than the first is not necessarily true. some things that you think were actually pretty good get lost in the editing process. some other things that should've been cut (ahem ahem, kate's referrals to lucas with "she", ahem ahem, liz's "i don't believe in independents like i don't believe in bisexuals. pick a side" line) get left in there. art is subjective. the editing process is subjective. in the end, though, the only thing that matters is that you enjoy what you're watching and find personal fulfillment in it. and i do! for both of these productions. for both of the productions, i'm smiling all the way up to "here i go". i'm slightly saddened during "you don't need to love me". i'm empowered by "the story of jane"/"no more wasted time". i'm grinning in liz-verse all the way up to "i hate you". i feel like sobbing during "some other me". my throat clogs up when "i hate you" starts. i'm actually sobbing by the time "you learn to live without" ends.

...you get the gist of it. all in all, both of these productions are phenomenal and i'm grateful for their existence and to have been able to watch them in the year of our lord 2021.

i love this show so much i swear.

i talk a bit more comparing broadway and dc here.

my other ramblings essays:

if/then appreciation

"what if?" vs. "what if?(reprise)"

character analysis of lucas

#if/then #broadway vs dc production comparison

[dreamcatcherfication]

Midnight is When I’m Most Honest

Ah yes, here we have sad Cathy Parr hours. I absolutely love writing Cathy Parr, so I’m glad I finally got around to finishing one of these fics. I also don’t see too much Kitty/Cathy friendship, so I figured I’d rectify that. Have some hurt/comfort, my specialty. Apologies for any grammatical errors. Comments are gladly accepted. PLEASE DO NOT POST OUTSIDE OF TUMBLR.

Please send in requests, I’m bored and I have no imagination right now, I need something to do. I’ll try to get them done as soon as possible.

Writing Masterpost

Trigger Warnings: Allusions to sexual abuse, insomnia, negative thoughts

Cathy Parr was an insomniac, simple as that. She didn’t know if it was her own fault she could never sleep, or if her body had some deficiency, but rarely did she find herself comfortably asleep. So she figured she’d make use of her time. If she couldn’t sleep, why not work and be productive. She swapped her pillow for a cup of coffee, her pajamas for a computer screen, and settled in for the night.

Sure, she’d find herself feeling and acting like a zombie the next day, but what was the point of attempting to sleep and still getting the same result? To be honest, sometimes Cathy didn’t even know what she was doing on her computer screen. More often than not she’d find herself searching for information on her Mary, praying that someone, one person, would have any idea what happened to her. Instead, she only dug up more on Thomas, the man she thought she loved.

Of course she knew Thomas wasn’t perfect, but his flaws were what made him so attractive to Cathy. She loved him for not giving up on her, for supporting all her beliefs. He wasn’t perfect, but it took time for Cathy to realize that he was much farther from perfect than she ever imagined. The things he did to Elizabeth, the things she let him get away with. If she had been a little stronger, she would’ve been able to protect Liz and her own daughter but… she hadn’t been. Instead, she had left them alone with that horrible, horrible man, and - well history told the rest of the story pretty well.

It made Cathy feel absolutely terrible, singing about Thomas every night. The queens had all agreed to write the show from their perspectives before researching what history said about them, and Cathy couldn’t help but regret that decision. Everyday she told the world how much she loved Thomas, how good he was for her. She was painting a devil as a saint and never even realized it.

The worst part was that some of her still denied it. She couldn’t associate the modern version of Thomas with the man she knew. Cathy believed all the articles she read, she believed that Thomas did what they said he did but… part of her ached to forgive him. She still loved him, and that was what hurt the most.

Cathy wondered if this was what Jane felt everyday.

As proud as she was of their show, as much as she cared for the queens and the ladies in waiting, Cathy longed to be back in 16th century England. At least then, she would be ignorant. At least then she would have her daughter. At least then she wouldn’t regret loving anyone.

A knock came from her door causing Cathy’s neck to dart quickly to the side. She slowly got up and approached the door, waiting to see if there would be another knock. Indeed, a second knock against the door, followed by anxious shuffling noises on the other side. Opening the door, Cathy was greeted with Kitty on the other side, wrapped in a pink blanket, swaying side to side nervously. Her head was pointed at the floor as she refused to make eye contact with Cathy as she spoke. “I just - uh - everyone else was asleep. I didn’t want to bother anyone but - but your light was on so - so I just thought. I can go if you’d like,” as she rambled, Kitty started to back up and move away from Cathy’s door.

“Hey, Kitty, you can come in if you’d like,” Cathy offered. With all her internal turmoil, the writer could use the company of someone else. Looking hopeful, Kit waddled her way into the room with her blanket still wrapped tightly around her body. She plopped herself on Cathy’s bed, the aforementioned woman returning to her desk.

The two sat silently, the only sound being the click of Cathy’s keyboard as she typed in a new query into google. Kitty watched the older queen, not saying anything at first. Eventually, she broached the silence with, “What are you looking for?”

Pausing her search, Cathy turned around so she and Kit could talk face to face. When they made eye contact, the younger queen’s eyes dropped to her lap as she fiddled with her hands. Cathy was used to Kit’s nervous behaviors, especially at night when they came from nightmares. Usually it was one of the other queen’s who helped the teenager out, but Cathy didn’t really have that option. “Just doing some research, nothing much,” Cathy responded lightly, hoping to coax Kitty into soft conversation. “Why are you up so late?”

Kitty ignored the question and asked, “What were you researching? You’re very focused. Is that why you’re still awake?”

Cathy sighed. She didn’t want to explain to Kit that it was her insomnia keeping her up, so she tried to go for a more simple approach. “I’m not tired, and I have a lot of work to do, so I decided to stay up late. Just for tonight.”

“But it’s not just tonight,” Kitty frowned. “Whenever I have a nightmare, I always see your light on. And you always look so tired. Cathy, when do you sleep?”

There was a moment of silence as the two queens looked at each other. Cathy was taken aback by Kit calling her out, and Kit just seemed genuinely concerned. “I sleep plenty, don’t worry about that.”

“But I do worry,” Kitty said. “I know I’m not like Aragon who always checks up on you, or Annie who always has your back but… I care too.” There were tears in the corners of Kitty’s eyes, and Cathy wasn’t quite sure if they had been there from the moment she walked in the door.

Softening her gaze, Cathy moved away from her laptop to sit next to Kit on her bed. She opened her arms and let the younger queen rest against her chest. “And I care about you too, Kitty. You can always come to me if you need someone. My door is always open.”

Sniffling, Kit replied, “Thanks Cathy.” The two sat together on the bed for a little while, enjoying the silence of the night. “But…” Kit said once again, “What were you researching?”

Cathy froze up, but then relaxed. “Nothing important really, don’t worry about it, Kitty.”

“If it’s not important, why can’t you tell me?” Kitty asked. Then wincing as she realized how she sounded, the teen reiterated, “I just wanna know so I’m not worrying.”

Kitty’s pouting is what finally broke Cathy into telling the truth. “I was searching for Mary.” At Kit’s frown, she elaborated, “My daughter Mary.” The younger queen nodded and encouraged Cathy to keep talking. “History doesn’t know anything about her. As soon as I died, she disappeared. And I wish there was anything I could find about her. Good or bad, at this point, I don’t care. Anything is better than not knowing.” Tears started to pool in her eyes, but suddenly Cathy couldn’t stop herself from letting everything out. “All I ever find is about Thomas. The man I thought was good and loving. History only talks about all the terrible things he did, to Elizabeth, to Edward. I don’t want to believe any of it, but deep down I do, I know it’s true. And yet I still love him. What kind of person am I to still love a monster?”

“For the longest time I thought I was in love with Dereham,” Kitty spoke up.

“But he-”

“Yeah, he did.” Kitty’s eyes were once again in her lap. “He was so kind to me, I thought it was love. It took a long time for me to come to terms with the fact that even if I had feelings for him, that didn’t mean it was my fault. Most of what I remember of Francis wasn’t horrible. There,” she shivered, “there were horrible moments, yes, but I still thought it was love.” She brought her eyes up to look at Cathy. “Loving Thomas isn’t your fault. Maybe it’ll take some time to see the Thomas you remember with the Thomas he was, but one day you’ll realize that you don’t need him in your life. To - uh - to paraphrase a line, ‘You don’t need his love.’”

Cathy let the words sink in before she pulled Kitty closer to her in a tight embrace. “Thank you, Kit,” she whispered. “That means a lot.”

Giggling, the younger queen shrugged against Cathy. “If I’ve learned anything about the 21st century, it’s that you gotta live in the present. So let’s watch a movie or something Cathy!”

Lifting up the teen as she stood up, Kitty squealed in delight as Cathy carried her to the door. Cathy was probably the weakest of the queens, but she did her best to entertain the youngest by carrying her down to the living room. So what if her muscles ached, it was worth it to see Kitty laughing with joy. “What do you want to watch?” Cathy asked as she scrolled through all the movies they had.

“Frozen,” Kitty said determinedly while staring at Cathy.

Chuckling, she asked, “Why that one?”

“Because Anna and Elsa don’t need any man, they just need each other.” Cathy felt herself melt a little when Kit spoke so passionately. The two queens shared a grin and sat together on the couch and let the movie play. They sang along to the songs they knew, shushing each other when they got too loud. Although they had already seen Frozen multiple times, this time the movie seemed far better than either of them remembered.

When morning rolled around and Jane came downstairs to make breakfast, she was surprised to see the last two queens snuggled together on the couch. They were both sound asleep under Kit’s pink blanket, arms around each other with smiles on their faces. Without saying a word, Jane grabbed a second blanket and laid it on top of them before resuming her morning duties.

Needless to say, Cathy Parr’s insomnia didn’t seem like such a burden anymore.

#six the musical fanfiction #six the musical fanfic #six fanfic #catherine parr #cathy parr #katherine howard #sad cathy parr hours #hurt/comfort #i wrote this in one sitting #im bored please send requests #kitty/cathy friendship #arent they called parrward? #parrward friendship #not my best work but hey #it's content

[bodakim]

Hibike Chikai no final - review with spoilers -

So, I finally watched Hibike Euphonium Chikai no final, and I wanted to do a “quick” review about it. I know this is going to be a bit subjective because I am obviously biased, but I am gonna try to be as objective as I can.

Also little disclaimer, but I am going to spoil so I can really give my arguments about the movie without holding myself.

For my general opinion if people wanna know without reading everything, I would give this movie a 4/10 at most. I had a huge problem with the pacing, with some directing decisions and with some scenes. I know I have to take the movie as an individual work and not comparing it to the novel (because a lot of important scenes have been cut from the novel), but I would say that if we compare Chikai No Final to Liz To Aoi tori... For a music anime, Chikai barely has any music, and most of the OST is truly forgetable.

For the in-depth part review...

I will start with the positive points.

- Most of the side characters (and by that, I mean... All the characters who aren’t Kumiko, for this movie) are really amazing. But this isn’t much of a surprise: they already were in the past. The new ones are really lovable too, but I am keeping something for the “bad part”. I am giving a point to Reina alone, but it’s because I love her with all my heart.

- The aesthetic is as beautiful as ever. But once again, it was to be expected from a Kyoani movie. The background is amazing, the colours are lively and give a true paw to the work, not mentioning that it gives a life to the movie.

There was one moment I also found really great in term of directing. During the Kantai competition, when they are playing Liz and the blue bird... During Mizore Oboe and Nozomi Flute “talking” to each other, the oboe part focus on Kumiko (implying that she is the blue bird) and the flute answer focus on Reina (implying that she is Liz). And that part was really well done.

Aaaaand that’s pretty much already it. Now I will go for everything I consider as negative.

- The pacing. Truly, this movie is going wayyyyy too fast. I know it’s only a movie to summarize two whole novels covering both Liz to aoi Tori and Chikai no final, but they cut a lot of character development and important matters due to the pacing.

First of all, Kumiko... Seems to have absolutely no idea about what she is doing in this movie. She is... here. Sometimes she makes cute Kumiko noise and she is being her usual self. But I can’t find the impact this girl had on me during the two seasons. How relatable she was, how emotional she could make me feel. And due to that, there were a lot of important scenes that were supposed to have a high impact... And ended up like a flop to me. I think, for example, about the scene with Kanade. Surely, Kumiko is shining and helpful with Kanade. And she has grown, which is really nice to see. But sometimes, she is just... Smiling, for no reason, and not reacting the way I have been used to see Kumiko reacting whenever she is serious.

Speaking of Kanade, I said I wouldn’t compare with the novel, but... She is mostly being cute and hinting a small part of her personality in the movie... But clearly doesn’t show all her potential. The movie clearly overlook her relationship with Natsuki, only quickly showing it during... One scene (when it’s totally built up in the novel). Kanade is supposed to be really close of Ririka, and... I don’t even think we see them interacting in the movie. Like, at all. 

I am doing another paragraph for this one, because it counts for Kanade, but also for all the other characters: due to the pacing, we don’t see them playing individually, and we don’t really hear them in the group (because there aren’t many performances, in fact.) So... When, for example, Natsuki mentions that Kanade’s euphonium is way better than hers... Yes, nice. But we didn’t hear it. We have no real idea if it’s really the case beside hearing the characters talking about it. Same for Mirei and Sasuki. When they have their issue, it’s hard to really believe what they say considering we barely saw them playing together.

Also yes, Nozomi and Mizore got their own movie with Liz... But here, they don’t talk at all. I think we can easily count the frames where they appear during the 1h40. A lot of other characters (like, Natsuki) don’t have many lines or appearance either.

- The continuity. And along the continuity, I am also going to talk about the relationship between Shuuichi and Kumiko.

This movie is supposed to continue Hibike after the second season. And that gives me a huge issue with the way Ishihara threated ShuMiko relationship.

I am going to compare it with both the novel, but also with Tamako Market (because I saw a lot of people comparing it with the way Tamako love story was created).

In the novel, there’s a build up to their relationship. Shuuichi has way more scenes than in the anime, some parts actually can make sense to give credit to their relationship, and Shuuichi’s confession take place during second season of Hibike. But it doesn’t come out of nowhere. There was something clearly established. And then, during the second year novel, Kumiko doubt about her feelings. They are clearly more acting like friends than a couple, and when the break up scene happen after all the doubts and also everything that happened during the novel, it also makes complete sense.

In Hibike season 1 and 2, Shuuichi is inexistant. He barely appear, and when he does, Kumiko doesn’t show any interest into him. Like, at all. Their relationship looked completely like a brotp with one sided love from Shuuichi side.

And when Shuuichi confess literally during the first minute of the movie... Not only it seems wrong, but it’s totally coming out of nowhere in the continuity of the previous seasons. They sell it like a kind of Tamako Love Story scene, but...

The reason why it worked in Tamako Love story was because Tamako had actually quite some scenes with Mochisu during the anime season. Surely, she was completely oblivious about his feelings for her, but they had some nice scenes together, Tamako never blocked Mochisu, and the build up was there. Then, they had an entire movie LITERALLY building up their relationship. It doesn’t happen in the first minutes of the movie, but mostly at the very end.

In this case, the whole Shuuichi Kumiko relationship just come out of somewhere ???

And something that really annoyed me was the fact they added some pointless drama (that wasn’t even a drama) about Shuuichi and a random first year... And then added a lot to the Agata festival scene (because basically, in the novel, Kumiko didn’t plan to go with him. She just spends a bit of time with him before they just part way without doing anything because Kumiko planned to join Reina at her place, and Shuuichi is too scared of Reina to even walk Kumiko to her place - not mentioning she refused, anyway -)

And since they cut so many scenes mentioning Kumiko’s doubt about her feelings for him that were in the novel, when they actually break up in the movie... It’s also totally out of nowhere. Kumiko mentions that she is busy, but... In Chikai, we don’t actually see her being busy. (Which join the problem of pacing I mentioned earlier).

- Some scenes are completely out of character. And I am thinking about one scene in particular that I absolutely hated when it should have been one of my favorite (on a very subjective side).

During the Agata festival, when Kumiko joins Reina atop Mt Daikichi, they have a similar discussion to what they have in the novel... Except that it doesn’t happen the same way and the discussion cut in the middle of nowhere when Kumiko asks for Reina to play for her.

As I already mentioned, they can totally change some scenes. As long as it still make sense and have the same meaning, it’s perfectly fine to do so. I didn’t expect them to adapt 100% of the novel scene.

In the novel, Kumiko and Reina were way more intimate during this scene. Kumiko mostly lays with her head against Reina’s laps, and when she asks Reina to play for her... She simply enjoy the music and wish they could stay this way and that nothing would change between them (because they were talking about their future, like in the anime... Except that the exchange was more powerful).

What I REALLY hated in the anime because it’s a huge finger raised to everyone, and totally out of character from Kumiko’s part... Kumiko asked Reina to play. Reina is playing her trumpet for Kumiko, and Kumiko... Text Shuuichi during the performance. Just. No.

Kumiko loves music, and she loves Reina’s sound. When Reina is playing, she would NEVER do anything else but listening to her performance... And it made me wanna bang my head against a wall (which is also an Ishihara addition, just like a lot of parts of the Reina arc in season 2... And I really dislike some of his choices.)

- Some scenes aesthetic.

Showing a few scenes through a phone could be a nice and interesting idea... Not when it’s every x minutes, and when it shows mostly characters we have never heard about, and we won’t see anymore for the remaining of the movie. The two first scenes made me low key smile. The 25 other made me wanna facepalm.

We are quite far from the impeccable aesthetic of Liz and the blue bird, and the animation between the scenes always on point. I can also understand why he decided to show the lamps during the kantai competiton... But nope, it doesn’t work in this case and just seems a bit “what the...?”

And I would say that’s pretty much it for the review... I wasn’t really expecting anything after the pictures I saw and the various spoilers I read, and I am still disappointed... I really believe they should have made a whole season to cover Kumiko’s second year. It would have been way better, and they wouldn’t have overlooked a lot of important scenes.

I know Kumiko’s third year is gonna be covered in one movie as well... At least, that’s what they were talking about. I kind of hope they are gonna do a season instead. I don’t know what to expect from it, but I am kinda sad I ended up disliking a movie in one of my favorite franchise (if not my favorite). So I do hope third year movie, whenever it’s out, is going to make me dream the way Hibike always did.

#Hibike Chikai No final #Personal opinion #Hibike! Euphonium #kumiko oumae #reina kousaka

[angsty-nerd]

So, I started writing this months ago. Like, maybe early summer? Never finished... But after watching Songs About Texas today, it seemed like a good time to come back to it, so here we go!

This weekend, watching Songs About Texas, I got mentally stuck on the passage Max reads at the beginning, from Frankenstein. Mostly I found myself considering the passage in the context of where the season ended and all of the religious imagery in Recovering the Satellites. In case you, like me, haven’t spent too much time thinking about it, here’s the passage:

“Even broken in spirit as he is, no one can feel more deeply than he does the beauties of nature. The starry sky, the sea, and every sight afforded by these wonderful regions, seems still to have the power of elevating his soul from earth. Such a man has a double existence: he may suffer misery, and be overwhelmed by disappointments; yet, when he has retired into himself, he will be like a celestial spirit that has a halo around him, within whose circle no grief or folly ventures.”

― Mary Shelley, Frankenstein

First off, let me caveat this by saying that a decade ago when I was studying for my totally useful (haha) English degree, I think I studied Frankenstein for at least two, maybe three classes - and I didn’t mind at all. It’s one of my favorites. Just as a quick summary for anyone unfamiliar with the novel, yes Frankenstein is the scientist, not the monster. But also that's not really the point of the novel. The novel is really more about man's connection to the natural world, to their own emotional state of being, and a huge metaphor for parental abandonment. It's not a horror book at all.

Typically, when studying it, discussion regarding this particular part of the book focuses on the romantic period of art and literature, and how it connected man to nature in a soul inspiring way that could feel almost like a religious experience. Other typical themes of the overall book include illusions of "loss, guilt, and the consequences of defying nature" (quoted text just pulled from the Wikipedia page for the novel). 

On the surface, when it first aired, I just interpreted this as Max reading one of his favorite books to Isobel. Because, of course Max would relate to Frankenstein. I can see this on so many levels. There’s just the pure and simple fact that Max is a man who feels his emotions so deeply and doesn’t try to hide them away - very characteristic of Frankenstein. Max seems to enjoy a lifestyle that allows him to be close to the natural world - he lives on the outskirts of town, wanders the desert, drives the Jeep, etc. And of course there’s the obvious metaphor of the man and the monster within him that he creates, that in turn destroys him.

We’ve all talked about Max’s guilt, how he hid for years from his alien side, wishing he was normal. All of this is logical to me. Which is why...haha..one of my fics-in-progress even has a whole scene with Max thinking about romantic period themes in literature. Yes, I’m a huge nerd.

But now, in the context of the finale and that whole religious imagery thing...there is SO MUCH MORE there. Of course there’s all of the negative emotion, which certainly can be related to Max: broken in spirit, suffering misery, and overwhelmed by disappointments... these all tie directly back to his lingering guilt over Rosa’s death, his role in it, and the resulting danger that it caused to Ortecho family. This is something that he hasn’t been able to let go of. It keeps him up at night, “I see her every time I close my eyes.” This is why he became a cop. It’s his penance for his mistakes, “I like protecting people. It helps me sleep at night.” And this guilt is something that he can’t let go of. Even with Liz’s forgiveness, he doesn’t feel like he deserves it. And as every post-finale meta has discussed, this, combined with all of the feels from the connection with Liz, is what drives him to try to bring Rosa back.

The consequences of defying the laws of nature...another clear theme in Frankenstein that runs through Max's character arc in RNM. It starts from the very beginning as Max struggles with his emotional control and power in the wake of healing Liz, an act of defiance of the natural order of things. And upon his recovery from that incident he retains control...until of course another defiant act (killing Noah) causes him to lose control again, which leads him to the most unnatural act of all, resurrecting Rosa, which has the ultimate consequences.

Defiance aside, there is also this religious imagery in the specific passage that is somewhat fascinating to me. "When he retires into himself" (i.e., dies) "he shall be like a celestial spirit that has a halo around himself" (Jesus imagery, self sacrifice, almost soul cleansing...).

Also, do I even need to talk about the whole man living a double existence line? Obviously that's something that has always been a part of his life as he juggles his alien identity with his human life...and I have a feeling that this is only going to get harder for him as they learn more about whatever this alien Jesus savior thing means for him versus the quiet life he wants (and deserves) being Liz's house husband. 💚💛

#max evans #rnm meta #roswellnm meta #my meta #literary nerd #nerrrrrd!

[chasingshhadows]

RNM S01: A Progressive Review

I want to talk about diversity, representation, social issues, and the way Roswell New Mexico succeeds and fails in that particular department. It’s 2019 and we no longer live in a world where it’s acceptable to ignore the societal implications of the media we consume. That said, it’s also 2019, and Roswell is doing some things that place it far ahead of its peers in media in ways that make it an absolute pleasure to watch. Like honestly, I’m fucking thrilled with this show ok.

I’ve read and skimmed a lot of discussion about the ways in which RNM has failed to be this perfect paragon of progressive representation, and I’ve read/skimmed far less discussion – by both fans and TPTB – about the ways in which the show is trying to be better than its forebears.

However, there seems to be a wide divide between people recognizing the former and people recognizing the latter, and I very much believe it’s irresponsible to try to focus on either one without at least acknowledging the other. So I’m going to talk about those failures and successes, and I’m gonna zig-zag that line so that if you want to read about how I feel about one of those things, you’re gonna have to at least skim the other.

[read more]

I tried to be as concise as possible, but even so, this is rather long, mostly because I didn’t want to make several posts about this. I want to say what I have to say on the topic and then get back to the story because that’s really why I’m here.

Also to note: I understand – and I hope we all understand – that we are in the first season of this show. This means that they should have plenty of time to follow through on or fix many of the issues I will point out, but that also leaves room for them to torpedo many of the positives I’ll discuss. Just – please know that I know we’re only one season in, and anything could happen.

On lived race

This show does a fabulous job exploring how race intersects with these characters’ lives and how it plays an active role in shaping not only who they are, but how their story lines play out. With Liz & Arturo, their race – and immigration status – are openly discussed on screen and inform their decisions and how they present themselves to others, as well as how they are received by their town. This is, in fact, a major aspect of the first season arc/plot as a whole, not just as it pertains to Arturo & Liz (and Rosa), but as it pertains to all the characters, so it’s worth emphasizing.

With Maria, we see her discuss her race as a factor in her isolation from her hometown, as well as seeing how she owns it in the face of racist customers. With Kyle, we see his compassion as a fellow child of immigrants in treating Arturo off the books, and with his mother, we see her perspective on that situation based on her own experiences as a Hispanic immigrant. And with Mimi, we see, tho tangentially, how the intersection of her race and gender and the stereotyping around those have had a negative impact on her healthcare. Even what little we saw of Arizona was washed in her experiences as a Native woman, and her (rightful) disdain for white people.

On the other side of that coin, we have white characters, namely the three alien siblings, whose White Privilege plays an active role in their actions and how they conduct themselves. I know some people have frustrations that these three main characters were all cast as white, but I’ll be honest, after having seen 1.06 (Smells Like Teen Spirit), I would not have bought that any of these characters were a POC. Can you imagine a Black or Hispanic teen being thoughtless enough to frame a WOC – who also happens to be the daughter of a known undocumented immigrant – for the drug-induced vehicular manslaughter of two white girls and not expect the entire town to then turn on that family? Even as a teen, no POC would be race-blind enough to not have had that forethought. It would not be believable, without an immense amount of heavy lifting in the backstory, for a POC to have framed Rosa instead of either of the white women, to have made the decision to put her in the driver’s seat over the other two.

And in this way, the show also does an amazing job in showcasing how good, liberal white people can still be thoughtless where it concerns race. Especially at 17. The White Privilege of the alien siblings, and their lack of awareness of it, serves as a major negative driver of the show’s plot and is the root cause of much of the conflict throughout the first season. That’s real, that’s believable, and that’s important to show.

This, all of this, is vital in portraying accurate, true-to-life representations of how marginalized racial communities interact with each other and white populations, and also gives those communities characters they can point to that not only look like them, but also share their experiences – experiences which are unique to POC and also give white viewers a clearer picture of what it’s truly like to live in this country as a person of color.

On meaningful racial representation

I feel rather let down that the show didn’t follow through on Alex’s heritage in any of the meaningful ways that they did with the other POC on the show (see previous section). All of those characters had clear and explicit aspects of their narrative which centered their race as an part of their story – again, rightfully, as that is how it’s lived IRL. We got to see them express and experience their race as more than just the color of their skin. We didn’t get that with Alex. (or with Noah, but he’s a whole other story)

It’s particularly disappointing considering that Alex is the only POC on the show who passes (that we know of, ofc). Many people will be upset at my bringing this up, but it’s true and we should be talking about it. His ability to pass – the ability for anyone to look at him and not know immediately that he is of Native descent – does not in any way negate his POC identity. Not even remotely. Not a little bit, not at all. All it means is that as a POC, Alex has the ability to be spared from certain microaggressions experienced by others in his community. Not all, not even most, but some. But it also means that he is subject to microaggressions that others in his community will never experience – such as someone making disparaging comments about Natives as tho there aren’t any in the room, or by people assuming he’s “basically white” bc he looks white and erasing his heritage entirely. Those are experiences unique to his race that other Natives who don’t “pass” would never experience.

Roswell didn’t follow through on that this season. We saw no indication, other than the casting of his brother as a Native actor (which I was very pleased about, mind you), that Alex Manes is not as white as he appears. Portraying and giving accurate representation to POCs who pass is just as important as giving it to POCs who don’t.

On consent

WOW this show does a marvelous job at portraying how people should approach getting active and explicit consent from those around them. Active consent is so deeply ingrained in the foundation of this show that its absence is used as an indicator to the audience that something is very very wrong - and on more than one occasion. In order to pull that off, the show has had to set an abundantly clear standard for the type of consent that these characters should expect from each other when things are not horribly wrong, and that standard is appropriately high.

Max and Liz are the obvious duo with which this is explored. From the first, when Liz wants to kiss Max outside of the cave, he stops her because he’s concerned that her judgement may be impaired or impacted by the effects of his powers. He refuses to take advantage of that state, making a direct call to the behavior women wish we could expect from men when our own judgement may be impaired. This continues later when she asks to be left alone and he just immediately backs down and away, not pushing or persuading. He treats her word as law, as he should. We see even in his past, as a teenage white boy in 2008, that he consistently asked for Liz’s consent to even be in her presence.

We see it between Michael and Alex in very different but still very present ways. A lot of Michael and Alex’s communication is silent and, as such, so are their consent check-ins. Before their first kiss, you see Michael checking in with Alex, watching Alex’s body language as he approaches and making sure Alex is receptive before he goes for the kiss – and Alex is, clearly. Michael asks what Alex wants and Alex says that doesn’t matter while stepping toward Michael. Michael stops and looks at Alex and Alex continues to move closer, looking back and forth from Michael’s eyes to his lips. This type of silent communication and consent checks continues throughout the rest of the season, from the scene at the drive-in to the teenage scenes and on.

We also see clear attempts at getting explicit consent between Liz & Kyle, between Cam & Max, and even when Michael was guarding Maria at the gala (I can go get Liz if you want me to leave) and later when he approaches her following the events of 1.13.

This has honestly been so fucking cool to see like this, on a CW show especially, to see how easy and essential it is to get that consent in all situations. It’s an important representation that we don’t see laid out clearly enough in media today and I’m so fucking proud of Roswell for doing it so effectively.

On disability & erasure

This show started to do something that was really incredible in portraying one of the main characters as an amputee. We see his crutch, we see the way he moves with it, we see how he struggles with it, and we see how he is determined to life his life as an amputee, and not just despite it.

There was certainly plenty of room to improve in even that regard - specifically where it concerns coaching on exactly how a recent amputee might move their body and center their weight and whatnot, even, or maybe especially, if that person were trying to hide their struggle. But it’s clear that the show was trying to represent a type of character we don’t get to see often.

But then Alex loses the crutch. Rather suddenly and very cold turkey. This is not an accurate representation of how someone with a recent loss of limb would experience their recovery, no matter how much that person may want to hide it. Recovery takes time, it takes practice, and it includes bad days. We didn’t see any of that.

It's particularly frustrating considering the show gave themselves the perfect opportunity to do this transition far better and didn't take advantage of it. There was a six-week time jump between episodes 8 & 9. Had we seen Alex try to go without his crutch when he confronted Liz in ep 7, and then have to return to using it after the long day out, and again in episode 8 with his father - wouldn't it have been so amazing to see him collapse in his chair after Jesse leaves and rub his leg because he's been ignoring the pain all day in an attempt to intimidate his father? And then we could see him moving more independently after that six-week jump.

The show dropped the ball there, in my opinion. In a big way. That beautiful representation was given and then promptly taken away. And then the show set itself up perfectly to explore how the invisibility of disability can be experienced, and has not followed through on that at all. Quite literally the last indication at all that we get of Alex's amputation is Michael commenting on his having lost the crutch in episode 9.

One of the harsh truths of disability is that no matter how much one might try to ignore and hide that aspect of who they are, it will always be there and it will make itself known. It might be invisible to others, but Alex will experience it anyway, will be affected by it anyway. He may be able to do anything that anyone else can do, but he’s gonna have to work ten times harder at it. We should have gotten to see that.

This same problem of erasing disability happens with Michael’s hand in the last episode. Michael’s scars, what they prevented him from doing, how they affected his work - all of that was so important to see, and then he gets the unconsensual healing power of magic and suddenly he gets his happy place back. And as happy as I was as a Michael!Stan to see him find that, this sends a bad message, that people with disabilities just need to be “fixed” to be happy. And as I mentioned above and in other posts, it is wildly apparent that Max healing Michael’s hand without his consent is meant to be an indicator that Max is Very Not Okay and is a prelude to him literally going so mad with power that he kills himself to resurrect Rosa. That noted, from a representation standpoint, I wish another mechanism had been used to show that.

On unapologetic politicism

Roswell makes it absolutely clear where it stands on the political spectrum and who this show is for. This show exists in the post-2016 election, post-#MeToo era and it embraces that culture and does not shy away from being political, on everything from race, sexuality and misogyny to immigration status, gun control, and even research science. It uses context and even hero dialogue to make the audience aware of what is right and what is wrong on these topics, and it does so without ambiguity or nuance.

It (appropriately) paints ICE as the enemy of good, hardworking people in literally the first scene of the show. Liz starts ranting about being stopped because she’s Latina and I just did a little dance inside because Yaassss, these are my people. And the show doesn’t let up there - the shadow of ICE hangs over Arturo’s - and by extension, Liz’s - head the entire season in a way that makes the audience uncomfortable and angry on his behalf.

The show consistently, from multiple characters both in law enforcement and not, refers to undocumented immigrants, the homeless, and prostitutes as “the most vulnerable members” of society, and not as a scourge or a menace to that society. These are good, worthy people deserving of protection and justice. The show paints anyone who views differently as firmly In The Wrong, from the disgusting Wyatt Long to the self-righteous Sheriff Valenti.

The dialogue calls out everything from subtle racism in police descriptions to building a wall to #AllLivesMatter to fake news to the terrifying ease of buying a gun to homophobia to the president himself  - it does not hold back and it does not leave room for excuses or sympathy on the part of the more conservative characters.

Most of the dialogue on the show that wasn’t explicitly Alien-centric feels very organic in the ways that it makes offhand quips about immigration and racism and sexism and everything in between - that’s the way I and my friends speak and converse. That stuff just filters into our conversations about really anything because it’s always at the forefront of our minds. We call those things out when we see them and talk about idiots like they’re not sitting right in front of us (“I think that’s Hank speak for ‘he wasn’t white.’”) There aren’t a lot of shows that nail that so perfectly and the only one that’s coming to mind at the moment is Dear White People, which was the first I saw to pull this off so well.

This is media that doesn’t try to paint a picture of “there are good people on both sides.” This media isn’t playing middle ground, or trying to please everyone. It’s making a statement in these choices and it doesn’t shy away from pissing off toxic people - this media isn’t for them. Most popular successful media (*cough* MCU *cough*) achieves that status by very carefully toeing the line between left and right, by using subtext to attract progressive viewers while keeping the explicit storyline clean and moderate. Roswell doesn’t do that - its progressivism is explicit and unmissable, as it should be. And that makes it, truly, an absolute joy to watch.

On Maria’s arc

Maria DeLuca did not start this season as an extension of Michael’s - or anyone’s - storyline, and I’m incredibly frustrated that, narratively, that’s how she ended it. That’s easily my biggest disappointment regarding the season as a whole, exaggerated by the fact that Maria is a black woman and because of that, her storyline carries more weight than many of the others. This post does a good job of discussing why POC rep matters more, and while it focuses on race-bending (which this show has also done with Maria, in a positive way), I think it still makes the point that Any POC Rep will just always hit harder, good or bad.

When that Rep is good, it’s fantastic. When it’s bad, it’s terrible.

And for most of this season, it was hitting very very good well. Maria throughout most of the season was this fierce, beautiful firecracker of personality and suppressed issues. She had a history and a deep well of issues both pre- and post- the loss of one of her closest friends, followed by the physical separation from her other two best friends. She’s got an amazing relationship with a mother who is slowly losing grip and slipping away from her. Those things, how they shaped her, and how they expressed themselves made her relatable, tangible, and easy to love.

That was actually one of my favorite parts about her hooking up with Michael, that these were main characters seeking comfort and distraction in one another, rather than just with throwaway characters. Maria is her own person with her own story that we had already seen explored as an independent arc from any of the other main characters

However, that arc never quite got the same attention as Kyle’s or Alex’s and certainly not as much as Liz or the Pod Squad. A lot of that likely has to do with her ignorance of the alien presence in the town (which appears to be coming to a close, but I won’t speculate on that) and that makes sense, narratively. As she couldn’t be actively involved in pushing the alien mystery plot forward, there was only so much the show could do with her, and I think they did take advantage of what little wiggle room they had there.

That said, given that she’s the only black woman on the main cast, it’s very disappointing that she rounds out the season by being drugged, possessed, and either talking about, pushing away, or engaging with Michael. My own perspective on this show may revolve around Michael, but that doesn’t mean I think our black woman should share that fate narratively.

And I’ll note that characterization-wise, I understood the ways Maria’s thoughts and actions could become consumed and fixated on a love interest. Oh, holy wow, have I Been There. But allowing that - and essentially, only that, narratively for Maria at the end of the season, as the only MC black woman on the show - is a disservice to her character and the community she represents. Which is not to say that I take issue with how Michael and Maria come together at the end, either from a narrative or a character development standpoint; what I take issue with is that that is all we get of her in the later episodes. Maria deserved more, and so did we.

On fighting for WOC

One of my favorite things about this show is how the characters on this show again and again come to bat for the two main WOC, despite that both of them are portrayed as absolutely capable of fighting for themselves. Both Liz Ortecho and Maria DeLuca are shown to be strong, multifaceted, beautiful (neither because of nor in spite of their race - just beautiful, end of story), desirable, and worth fighting for - and unapologetically and undeniably women of color.

Our “main hero” Max makes it absolutely clear that he will Throw Down for Liz Ortecho. He risks his own life and the lives of his siblings to save her, and nearly torpedos those relationships entirely on her behalf. He loves her absolutely, flaws and all. And he acknowledges those flaws - he doesn’t put her on a pedestal or pretend she’s perfect - she doesn’t need to be for him to love and respect her.

We see Alex and Michael and Liz all show up for Maria at different points in the story, fighting on her behalf, defending her, and making the statement that Maria is precious and should be protected. More than that, through Michael’s eyes, we stand in awe of Maria DeLuca - she is a standout, she is impressive, she is powerful, and she is her own savior, every time. And through all of that, she is beautiful and desirable and absolutely worthy of being the center of attention.

These storylines and characterizations are unfortunately still incredibly rare for women of color in modern media. Women of color rarely get to be these fully fleshed out characters with their own backstory and own motivations, and even more rarely do we get to see them be viewed by others as special and valued. Roswell isn’t sidelining its WOC or centering their storylines around white men (my comments above re Maria’s last couple episodes notwithstanding). And that’s amazing and should be celebrated.

On aesthetics

No matter how important something is to the plot or how in-character it would be, the sociological aesthetics of media are still relevant. Plot-wise, the roundabout Wyatt leading to Maria leading to Noah was an interesting mechanism, and it makes sense, character-wise for Cam and then Isobel to suspect Maria’s involvement. And it makes sense, character-wise, for Liz to then defend Maria against those suspicions.

But - aesthetics matter. And watching a scene in which two white blonde women accuse a WOC of horrible crimes at another WOC is immensely uncomfortable and very tone-deaf. That wasn’t fun or engaging to watch, I don’t feel drawn into the mystery of it all in that moment, I feel pretty grossed out, actually. Because this show has set a standard for itself of being better than that, and in that scene, it failed its own test.

On bisexual representation

This one I’ve already talked about at length and having finished out the season, my feelings haven’t changed. This show does a damn fine job showing us a bisexual character living out his life, his pain, and his unhealthy but entirely relatable coping mechanisms. They don’t try to portray him as perfect because he’s not and he shouldn’t have to be for us to respect and love him.

On bi-baiting

I’ll admit to being disappointed that Isobel’s feelings for Rosa turned out to be artificial and driven by the man living her in mind. It took the whole situation from amazing bi rep to aggressively heterosexual. Not only was our queer woman not actually queer, but all of those feelings and attraction toward another woman were actually driven by a really toxic man that was actively violating Isobel to pursue that attraction.

Once again, the show started to give us something really fucking amazing - two bisexual main characters - and then appeared to take that away. We’ve been given no indication that Isobel’s attraction to Rosa was anything more than Noah in her head or that she herself is anything other than Very Straight.

This doesn’t diminish the amazing bi representation they’ve given us with Michael, but that amazing representation does not excuse or erase our having been baited into falling for another bisexual character only to find out it was all very likely a sham. While there are certainly not enough bisexual men in media, there is also not enough queer women at all. So dangling that in front of the audience before yanking it away is frustrating.

On respecting survivors

*Content Warning: sexual assault* 

So I’m going to talk as a survivor for a moment and explain how Holy Shit Muther Fucking Important it was to see another survivor being told that other people’s feelings and needs didn’t matter. What She needed mattered. I was sobbing through that scene because no one has ever told me that. No one ever told me that what I needed trumped other people’s comfort or anger or needs.

But Isobel got to hear that. She got to hear that her brothers’ needs Did Not Matter (and that, particularly, hits hard for me). The only thing that mattered was whatever She needed to get through this, to feel better, and to heal. She got to hear that taking care of herself was the most important thing, that she was allowed to be selfish and think of herself. She didn’t have to put others first, or make sure everyone got what they wanted. What they wanted is nothing compared to what she needs. I needed to hear that just as much as Isobel did.

The show did not shy away in facing just how violently violated Isobel was by her husband - body and mind. It doesn’t brush off what he did as just another evil act by an evil man - this was invasion of Isobel in every possible way by someone she loved and trusted.

And it doesn’t try to artificially portray her as too strong to care, or too weak to handle it. She’s strong, but she’s affected. She’s shattered inside, and she’s handling it. A lot of us know what that’s like in ways people that haven’t experienced it never could. And as someone who finds therapy in being understood, in seeing my experiences in media, this scene was everything I needed.

On villainizing POC

This one has sparked a lot of valid discourse. Media has a really ugly history of telling society who is good and who is bad based on casting choices and always always always making the villains the POC, particularly MOC. It’s unconscious bias leading to more unconscious bias, teaching viewers that we shouldn’t trust POC bc they’re always the bad guy.

It’s a problem and every additional casting choice like this contributes to that problem. No show or movie is immune to it simply because they had a good reason, or even because they wanted to give a POC a job. Studios can give POC jobs by writing roles for them from the beginning, rather than slotting them into damaging stereotypes.

While I do acknowledge that it is unfair and in many ways problematic to deny an actor a role simply because of their race, aesthetics matter. There has to be some forethought in the casting choices regarding the message that choice will send. If the desire is to have more POC characters, then write more POC characters.

And that’s another way in which Roswell doesn’t really succeed with Noah. While there’s at least mention of Noah’s race on the show, he falls into the same category as Alex in that we never see his race expressed or lived. They cast a South Asian actor to play a raceblind role, which means they cast a POC actor to play a white role. POC characters have different stories than white characters - Roswell dropped the ball on giving us that with Noah.

Roswell does a lot right where it concerns race on this show, and it is refreshing that our POC villain is far from the only POC on the show. That said, I was taught something in college that I will never forget:  oppression is a moving sidewalk. In order to work against it, you cannot stand still (i.e. casting POC on both sides). You must actively walk the other direction in order to affect change.

Like with the issue of Isobel’s baited bisexuality, giving us amazing representation in one hand doesn’t change that you’re using the other to flick our ear.

On centering queer stories

*hugs myself in delight* This is a big one and is probably the aspect that Roswell gets the most right. Both in impact, screen time, and even in literal scene-splitting, Roswell again and again makes it clear that Michael & Alex’s love story is just as vital and central to this story as Max & Liz’s. They intercut their scenes at numerous points, and characters even within the show compare how similarly their stories have played out. The two relationships experience major milestones on the same day on more than one occasion.

Michael and Alex’s relationship has depth. It has conflict, it has history, it has heartbreak. There is tension and pain and softness and love. It has laughter and safe spaces; it has big gestures and powerful words. These two men who crash together and fly apart but whose whole beings seem to orient toward the other and who, at the end of the day, are willing to let themselves be destroyed for their love.

This queer love story playing out on season 1 of Roswell has more foundation, development, chemistry, and payoff than some of the most romanticised straight couples in media history. It’s been a week since the finale and I’m still just utterly in awe at what we’ve been given here. Roswell is absolutely succeeding in giving us thorough, relatable, meaningful queer representation with Michael and Alex. They are not holding back or sidelining or tokenizing. And they are following through on narrative promises instead of just baiting or relying on subtext. And that’s…. so fucking insanely satisfying to finally get to see.

.

Ultimately, I’m far more happy with how the show treats its underrepresented identities and modern social issues than I am critical. Most of the content on this show is akin to looking in a mirror and seeing my own worldview reflected back. I am a queer progressive woman and a survivor, so many of these issues are personal for me.

But I’m also white, and my disabilities are not physical. As such, I am not and should not be the authority on some of these issues. I am more than open to feedback from those who feel I was either too harsh, or not harsh enough, where it concerns those issues.

But for now, this is essentially Chasing’s Progressive Review of Roswell New Mexico, Season 1. And now I’m gonna go roll around in meta and fanfic and gifsets for the next several months cuz I sure as hell ain’t done talking about this show.

#roswell new mexico #malex #echo #michael guerin #alex manes #max evans #lix ortecho #maria deluca #noah bracken #isobel evans #kyle valenti #candy #rnm #i just have a lot of feelings #rnm meta #chasing's progressive review of rnm season 1

[mrneighbourlove]

Red Winding River: Ch 2. Couples Counseling

Ocax had never seen Seer so nervous. Talking with Kanisa at the door, he glanced to Seer by the fireplace. “Thank you. I’ll let him know your dragons have the situation contained.”

"... you know, Seer doesn't talk much about what happened during his time at the brothel in his younger years. He doesn't talk much about being Adda's captive either." The princess told Ocax with a heavy sigh. "I think... this situation, the whole thing is a bit... of a bad reminder for him. Of what he wants to forget but can't. Just stay with him, will you? The last thing he needs is to be alone."

“I will. You have my word on that.” Ocax shook her hand, closed the door, and sat beside Seer. “This must be difficult for you.”

"... I rather not talk about it." Seer said very quietly, looking lost. "Please."

“Ok. Then we don’t need to talk about. Just know that I’m here for you.” Ocax hugged Seer from behind, planting a kiss on his side. “Would you like some coffee?”

"Thank you... how about you have your favorite bitter coffee and I'll drink the cocoa you despise?" Seer said in good humor.

“Come. We don’t need to bring negativity into our drinks.” Ocax carefully prepared their favourite hot beverages, and wrapped him and Seer in a fur blanket. They just drank in silence, bodies together for a few moments. “What do you think of the fire?”

"Hrm... which fire?" Seer asked, being smart. "The one in the room or the one in my pants?"

“The room.” Ocax started to learn Seer liked to dirty talk when he got nervous, or had high anxiety.

"Well, it's warm, like you. Very tempting, like you. And let me think..." Seer pretended to be in deep thought. "And once more, like you, somewhat dangerous."

“We never had fire in the twilight realm.”

"Was there no need for it?"

“In a way. We had technology to provide light to our buildings, and there was always the light of Twilight. Do you think Towa is happy?”

"I hope she is, wherever she might be." Seer then added. "But I can't lie. I am happy that she doesn't interrupt our sex anymore."

“True. I just hope she’s relaxing back at the home she wanted.” Ocax rested his neck onto Seers head. “I did the math. I can tell you every day Kanisa doesn’t wear a bra, and I can guess why.”

"Because... Vidar likes the jiggle?"

“And the nibble.” Ocax grinned happily at his joke. “I suppose men like him prefer the nipple.”

"I don't see how she tolerates him sometimes; he can be such a prick." Seer snuggled into Ocax and took a sip of his cocoa. "But he's mostly sweet to her. I don't understand it." He then started to snicker. "Remember when Na'seema's hatchlings stole his bed? He griped about that for weeks. All beside they wanted to sleep beside Kanisa for a night and hear stories."

“Man’s such a baby. How he can tolerate kids is a mystery.” Ocax gave Seer a soft kiss. “You want to sleep by the fire tonight?”

"I have no idea. I'm surprised that he survived Na'seema." Seer snorted in amusement. "Surprised he had two of his own and then wouldn't leave Na'seema's hatchlings alone. Insisting she needed some help. He's all tough on the outside, but soft on the inside."

When Ocax asked about sleeping beside the fire, the killer whale agreed. "That would be nice... do we have that fur pelt in here?"

“Want extra, hmm? I’ll get it. You just think of something pleasant to dream about. Like that whale you told me you dreamed about once. Sounded pleasant.”

"Hrm, it was a very interesting whale. I couldn't quite make him out with my echolocation but I knew he was there. Or she. Not sure." Seer recalled the melodic sound of the whale's voice assuring him everything would be all right. Maybe it was just part of a dream or perhaps a hallucination. Either way, it made him feel peaceful. "Told me I would get home soon. Maybe I was just hearing things."

“Maybe it was real. You got home? Correct?” Ocax burred him and Seer in the giant fur blanket.

"I'd like to think it was real. Sort of hard, hearing a voice but not being able to sense the presence." Seer nuzzled Ocax tenderly. "Still, either way, things turned out just fine. I met you."

“Then let’s dream for that whale to visit us again.”

~

Scarlet threw her clothes to the floor and went onto the king-sized bed. Rat was on story reading duty. Fine by Scarlet. She wasn’t sure how she was going to read with Adda on her mind. Her muscles felt so tight from stress. She just hoped everyone could come to their senses tomorrow.

After reading Trygve and Volcana a story, Rat made sure to tuck both of the children in tightly before returning to the bedroom. It was not going to be a good day or week or month with that pirate around. Why did Lex have to be so... so... so stupid?! Seer raised her better than that, Rat knew it! Groaning, the huge Labrynna flopped over onto the bed, muttering incoherently into a pillow.

“Are you as tired and pissed as I am?”

"Mmm-mmm." Rat's response was muffled by the pillow.

“That sounds about right.” Scarlet groaned, fidgeting in the bed. “Adda, Adda, Adda. Always Adda. Never escaping her stupid plans. I feel like a pawn, even now when I’m actively against her. Why’d she have to come back?”

"Maybe we can convince Na'seema or Stra'tuso to eat her." Rat said dryly. "Or a wonderful 'accident'... and one of the dragons stepped on her when they weren't looking."

“That’d work.” Scarlet leaned onto Rat’s back, wondering when Borghild would come to bed. Best they just forget today and go to bed. Nothing was going to cheer her up... “Least Revy understands. I’m sure Liz will too.”

"All hell is a-going to break loose when Lex tells Liz, you know that, right?" Rat rubbed his forehead. "Maybe it's high time we just take a vacation and opt out on this one. I'm too old to deal with this kinda of bullshit."

“I agree. Fuck... I just wish she wasn’t family to those girls. Or pulled a gun on me. Would have felt justified snapping her neck on the spot.” Scarlet tapped the back of Rat’s muscles. “Or let you snap her like a log.”

"Heh, I may be old, but I still a-got it." Rat flexed for Scarlet, as if he were a flirty teenager trying to show off his muscles. "A little gray won't defeat these guns."

"Please, you call those guns? These are guns." Borghild entered the room stark naked, showing off her biceps. "Don't worry, you're still pretty."

"Even with gray hair?"

"Gray hair, no hair, a lot of hair, it doesn't matter."

“You’re both amazing. But Gerudo don’t got guns. We got cannons~ Besides, my red hairs just gonna get dark with time. And I still got time before I even come close to that.” Scarlet joined in on the flexing. Watching Borghild just stand there was maddening. She was thankful she had two lovebirds to take her mind away from the taint Adda left in gut. “Can you get your blue bust over into bed?”

"I won't be able to rest well knowing that bitch is back." Borghild stretched, extending her arms above her head. "But I suppose nothing is better than trying to take a nap. Bears love naps, you know."

"I love naps squished between two sexy women." Rat grinned at her. "A hot desert mom and a mama bear."

Scarlet grabbed Borghild first, pressing her face in her breasts. “This hot desert mom needs to cuddle this bear before you big man. Then we can all share~”

"Hey, that's not fair, why do I always a-have to wait?" Rat gave a playful pout. "You two a-do this on purpose, me knows it."

"We'll never tell, will we, Scarlet?" Borghild laughed.

“What proof do ya got?” Scarlet was stressed, she couldn’t deny it. Maybe this was what they all needed. As she sucked on Borghild’s breasts, her feet snuck their way to playfully rub against Rat’s crotch.

"I gots proof enough with you always paying more attention to Borgie first."

"How can she resist these, Rat?" Borghild remarked as Scarlet played with her breasts. "You can't."

"Ah, you gots me there, Borgie."

“Rat? You want to do something about it? Or are ya just gonna sit there?”

"I dunno, you a-know I like to watch you two go at it first." Rat had no reason to lie. "We both know how demanding Borgie is."

"I think the word you're looking for is 'controlling'." Borgie gave Scarlet's backside a harsh swat with her hand. "I know how to get what I want."

Scarlet let her moan out freely at the slap. Lying her back on Rat’s stomach, she displayed herself like a plate for Borghild. “You really do.”

"And I don't even have to say 'please'," Borgie tugged sharply on Scarlet's red hair. "Cause you're just happy to give it to me."

Scarlet was embarrassed to admit it, even to herself, but she got turned on when commanded like this. She leaned in, kissing Borghild, practically begging to have her tongue swirl with hers.

"Greedy, are we?"

"Borgie, we both know she used to be a pirate, of course she's a greedy."

"Shush, Rat, let me enjoy this moment." Borghild returned Scarlet's deep kiss and then used her free hands to play with the Gerudo's breasts. "You know how much Scarlet likes to follow..." She leaned in to Scarlet's ears and purred. "Orders."

“S-Stop teasing...” Scarlets hands pulled Borghild closer by the hips. She just wanted the smaller woman as close as possible to her. Her ass was sitting firmly on Rat’s cock now, squirming around at Borghild’s actions and words.

"Well, maybe, this time, I want to enjoy the show." Borghild bent down where her husband's erection rubbed against Scarlet's ass. The Gerudo woman's legs were already wide open and it was easy access. Guiding Rat's cock to Scarlet's opening, she gave a flick to the woman's clit before allowing Rat to slip inside the already moist walls. "I want to watch you get fucked. I want to see your face when you're cumming."

"By the gods, Borgie, you're so hot when you a-talk dirty..."

"You fuck her good, Rat... I wanna hear her moaning and your balls slapping against her."

“Oh! Oh please!” Rat grasped Scarlet firmly and fucked her at a firm pace. The Gerudo’s tits bounced and her face contorted into carnal pleasure. She practically had hearts in her eyes as she looked at Borghild. “H-he’s so hard on me!”

"You like him to be hard on you, don't you, naughty girl?" Borghild asked with a sly smirk. As Rat held onto Scarlet's hips and thrust upward, there was indeed a show for Borghild. This was one of Scarlet's favorite positions from what Borghild knew. The mama bear knew that Scarlet liked it deep and steady at first, and then as she got closer to climax, a fast, hard finish. As the Direnor bear watched, she touched herself, getting slick with love juices. "See what you do to me?"

“I make you both wet as a river~” Scarlet almost giggled the words. Her pussy tightened at the sight of Borghild, squeezing on Rat’s cock. “I’m gonna cum soon!”

Her hands grabbed Borghild by the ass, and her tongue swirled deep into her wet folds as Scarlet pushed her mouth in to get a taste.

"Oh fuck, yes, yes,  yes!" Borghild was by no means quiet with her vocalizations. As Scarlet's tongue worked her magic, Rat increased his thrusts, fast, harder, deeper, just like Scarlet liked. Borghild's nails scraped against Scarlet's scalp as she neared her orgasm. "Swirl it... around th-the... fuck, fuck, the top, yes! Just like that!"

Scarlet clawed her wife’s ass as she pushed deep. The Gerudo’s eyes nearly rolled back as the Direnor came, her pussy juices being lathered up. She loved how tight her fingers grasped her head as Borghild screamed. Her own screams of orgasm were muffled as she was still head deep into Borghild’s crotch, but Rat’s continued thrusting awarded him.

Rat was not far behind his wives, gripping Scarlet's hips so hard that there were sure to be bruises later. He groaned loudly as he orgasmed, quivering from head to toe. How did men deal with have more than one wife? Sure, it was double the fun, double the pleasure, but goodness, it left him so tired. Then again, he was getting rather old.

"You two... I swear, make me a-feel young again..."

Scarlet playfully pulled Borghild to be sandwiched between her and Rat, facing her close to herself. “Of course. You’re a hunky man~ And you’re a blue battery of love~”

"Direnors can go and go and go for ages..." Borghild laughed. "I think when Rat and I had our first night together, he slept until the next day."

"You drained me of ALL bodily fluids, Borgie, a man has to have time to rest with such a wild woman." Rat chuckled in good humor.

“God. You both drain the hell out of me, I’ll tell ya that.” Scarlet laughed in good fun. “Let’s... lets just sleep. Think about just the three of us in this moment until the morning.”

"Agreed... but if you snore, I'm kicking you."

"Not if I get to her first."

“Bugger off you two.” Scarlet pulled them in close, quickly falling asleep. Her last thoughts were hoping Adda wasn’t going to hurt her family again.

 _______________________________________________________________

Previous Ch. https://mrneighbourlove.tumblr.com/post/188828626641/red-winding-river-ch-1-hellraiser

Next Ch. https://mrneighbourlove.tumblr.com/post/189130622691/red-winding-river-ch-3-paying-for-blood

#Adult things Adults Do #Seer #Ocax #Captain Adda #Scarlet #Borghild #Rat #Polygamy #Crossover #ridersoftheapocalypse

[petertomspidey]

Ablaze -  Peter Parker x Villain!reader Pt. 2

Warnings: Swearing, injuries, anxiety, PTSD, self-hatred, mentions of death, big fluff.

Summary: Peter and reader get closer. (nicknames are cute *wink wonk*)

A/N: bold italics are thoughts. Bold is narration.

“Peter. Peter Parker.” A large smile creeps on your face and you immediately turn around to see the espresso-haired boy from the day before.

“Hey, Peter.” You can’t help but feel a kaleidoscope of butterflies swirl in your stomach as he (not so subtly) looks you up and down.

“You two know each other?” MJ seems genuinely confused as she points a finger between you both.

“Oh, I uh, ran into her yesterday.” Peter plays with his fingers, which you’re now guessing is a nervous twitch of his.

“He physically ran into me. Gotta point that out.” You add, giggling as Peter looks to his feet, smirking at the memory.

“Sounds about right for Pete.” MJ chuckles and Peter jokingly hit her arm and rolls his eyes.

“Shut up. I’m not normally that clumsy-” Peter seems as if he’s going to ramble on before MJ cuts him off.

“No, you are, dork.” Peter scoffs in response and you chortle. “Well, I’ll leave you guys to tour, I’m gonna find Ned and go to homeroom.”

“Alright.” Peter and you jinx, and instantly lock eyes, only for a second, because Peter quickly finds interest in the tiled floor.

“See ya, MJ.” You call after her, and she sends a peace sign your way.

“So, where are you taking me on this tour first?” You turn back to Peter, catching him ogling at you. His cheeks turn scarlet, and of course, it brings on his stutter.

“I- I- I’m gonna, gonna show ya, the um,” He clears his throat as if his stutter was just something lodged in his throat. “The cafeteria. Then I’ll show you to your first class, maybe take a few pit-stops along the way.”

His words hurry out of his mouth, all jumbled together, but you somehow still understood him. You give an accepting smile and link elbows with him.

“Lead the way, Parker.” He seemed to have shut down for half a second- he was probably not expecting you to be this close to him, maybe mentally checking if he remembered deodorant today.

You were guided down the halls of the school, stopping for an occasional, ‘This is the chemistry lab.’ ‘That’s the nurse’s office.’ ‘This is the good drinking fountain.’ Your personal favourite stop, however, was the library. Once he had said the word, you immediately yanked his elbow and dragged him into the room.

“Why are we going in here? I haven’t finished the tour, Y/N.” He was sheepish, especially when the librarian gave in the side-eye.

“Because I love books. Fun fact about me, Peter; I really love writing and reading.” You release his elbow, not giving notice to the huff of air he let out, you were too occupied looking through the shelves for your favourite authors.

“Good to know. We can only stay for a bit longer though, class starts in 10 minutes and I still have to show you my table in the cafeteria. So you know where to find me and don’t need to sit by yourself.” He winces at his forwardness inviting you to lunch with him, mentally kicking himself for assuming you’d be alone, as well. You twist on your heel, walls flying up.

“You must really pity the new girl, huh? You don’t need to invite me to sit with you, I’m pretty comfortable with the idea of being alone.” Your tone was cold, a nice contrast to your overheated body. Not desiring to burst into flames, (especially around books), you take a calming breath and start to walk towards the library’s exit.

Peter goes wide-eyed at your sudden change in mood, opening and closing his mouth like a fish as you walk straight by him.

“Y/N!” He speedwalks (no running in the halls of course) to catch up to your pace, and puts his hand on your shoulder. “Hey, wait.” When you still don’t turn towards him, he brings his hand down to yours. His voice grows worried, his eyes softening when he feels your feverish heat.

“Are you okay? You’re really warm...” You control yourself and lower your temperature, hoping he doesn’t question further.

“I’m fine, Peter. Want to finish the tour?” You take your hand from his and cross your arms over your chest.

“Uhm. Yeah- uh, but I- I...” He looks to the floor, swallowing the lump in his throat. “I don’t pity you, I promise. I actually, um, I think you’re really, really cool. You like books and you laugh at my stupid jokes and you have pretty eyes and you’re funny and nice and smart and are pretty much a ray of sunshine.”

Both of your guys’ cheeks are flamed up, blushing madly from his rambling mess of words. You can’t help but break into a big smile, watching his eyes trail up to yours. He actually keeps eyes contact this time, and you’re the one to break away.

“I’m a ray of sunshine? And you think my eyes are pretty?” You’ve never felt so mushy inside than in this very moment. Peter starts to fiddle his fingers again, watching them twist and turn, praying his hands don’t stick together-because apparently when spiders are nervous, they’re more sticky. You look to his hands before scanning his face again.

Definitely a nervous tick.

“I uhm- yeah, uh, you are, and you do.” Peter’s stutter makes you smile, he’s so awkwardly adorable.

“Well, thank you, Pete. I’m sorry for snapping at you earlier, nobody’s ever really had good intentions with wanting me around.” A memory of your third foster family floods your vision for a moment- and you shiver, pushing away the thoughts of the abuse in that household.

Peter suddenly gets a boost of confidence- maybe he wants you to just smile again, maybe he just wants to be closer, but he locks elbows with you again, pulling you to follow him towards the cafeteria.

“I’m showing you our lunch table now, Sunshine.” You look at his face to see him smiling, which, in turn, makes you smile.

Sunshine. He called me Sunshine. He’s fuckin’ adorable.

You follow him into the large cafeteria, the far wall made up of glass, showing off the front lawn. He takes you to the far end of the row of tables on the glass wall side, sighing with contentment as you both reached the destination.

After a moment of silence, Peter decides to gauge your reaction to a Spider-Man story, he’ll see if he will be comfortable, maybe one day, to tell you his secret.

“I have a cool story about this table actually, Ned, my other best friend, claims to have seen Spider-Man on that rooftop there.” He points out a tall brick building across the street, looking to you for a reaction.

You, of course, feel your stomach drop and your hands start to heat again at the thought of that annoying insect (arachnid). But, as the rest of the world sees Spider-Man as the coolest thing ever, you keep your calm and give a neutral response.

“That’s cool, have you seen him?” Peter seems to shy from the question, shifting his weight to his opposite leg.

“Uh, no, not yet- no.” He looks to his feet again, and you decide to pull him from his trance after a moment or two.

“So, next stop is my first class?” He looks to you and nods, pulling you in what you assume the direction of the art studio is in.

“Yeah, and I’ll be outside your class when it’s over, I’ve got the same second period as you, chemistry.” He smiles, stopping by a classroom, unlinking your arms.

“Art room?” Your question is kinda hypothetical, as the door reads ‘Art Studio’ in a cursive font.

“Yep, you’ve officially been given a famous Peter Parker Midtown High tour. How many stars would you rate it? Maybe I can get some feedback to improve?” You can’t help but giggle at his goofiness, he’s definitely got a lovely, but dorky, sense of humour.

“I’m gonna have to give it 4 out of 5 stars, the tour guide wasn’t that professional, he kept making the cheesiest jokes.” You smile widely as Peter chuckles at you, once again causing butterflies to erupt in your abdomen.

“Alright, alright.” He rolls his eyes and takes a step backwards, then smiles sheepishly at you. “I’ll see ya after class, kay, Sunshine?”

Once again, the nickname makes you blush, and you wonder why he’s had this type effect on you when you barely know him.

“See you, Peter, thanks again.” He smirks and looks to his feet, and steals one last glance into your eyes before turning to walk away.

“No problem.” You open the door to your class, just as the bell rings, and find a seat in the back. Meanwhile, Peter meets up with Ned, still smiling like an idiot.

“Dude, what’s got you in this giddy attitude?” Ned is so confused, he hasn’t seen Peter like this- pretty much ever.

“What do you mean?” Peter plays dumb, continuing to their shared class.

“It’s Y/N. Love at first sight.” MJ jumps between the boys, startling both.

“The girl you gave a tour to?” Ned is overly excited, Peter hasn’t had a real crush since Liz.

“And my foster sister,” MJ adds before giving Peter a noogie. “Also his neighbour. We can all have late-night study sessions and movie nights. Operation: Get Peter a Girlfriend, is a-go.” Peter pushes MJ away and laughs with them, but secretly wishes the operation goes smoothly.

-----------------------------------------

It was two minutes before the bell rang, and Peter was hurriedly walking towards your classroom, replaying a greeting a thousand times over in his head.

Once he arrived, he starts to panic. Okay, okay. How do I stand? What if she doesn't want me to walk her to class? What if she met someone in art and is like- dating them now??

Peter tries to abandon his negative train of thought, leans on the opposite wall to the classroom, and crosses his arms. Too moody. He changes up his stance and stands straight up, hands clasped in front of his abdomen. Too uptight. He stands normally, holds his backpack strap on his left shoulder, and crosses his right ankle over his left.

Just as he is about to fidget again, the bell rings, making his eyes shoot up to look through the suddenly crowded hall. The moment he sees your face, his nerves evaporate and happiness floods his facial features. You, on the other hand, see his face and nervousness begins to rush through you, head to toe. Look at that smile. He's too cute.

"Hi." Your voice is small, and you scold yourself for letting him make you feel this way.

"H-hey. Hi. Uh, how was, how was class?" His stutter makes an appearance again, and you could tell he didn't appreciate it whatsoever. His nose scrunched when he finished the sentence, and he glanced between you and the floor at least three times before choosing to look into your eyes.

"It was good, I guess." You recall the art teacher, a small middle-aged woman, dressed in a paint-smeared smock and mom jeans, while Peter starts walking you both to class.

"The teacher was pretty cool. Didn't talk to anyone, though." Peter felt a little bit of relief, that means you'd still sit with him at lunch, and he might still have a chance at asking you to hang-out or study with him, Michelle, and Ned. He realises he's been in deep thought and only comes back to reality when you poke his forehead.

"Hello, earth to Peter. Anyone alive in there?" You had asked him how his class had been, only to look over and witness him murmuring to himself and staring at his moving feet.

"Yeah, hi, sorry, I got a bit, uh, lost in thought there." He gives you an apologetic look and you shrug your shoulders.

"It's alright, anyway, I asked how class was for you?" You guys had started to ascend the stairs to the science floor, Peter skipping stairs in pairs, making you run to catch up with him.

"Sorry, uhm, it was boring. Math. Ned, MJ, and I have it together. Teacher split us up a week or so ago, he got sick of us always blabbering." You both give a small chuckle, finally reaching the top of the third flight of stairs, and you can't believe Peter isn't out of breath like you are.

After a moment of your heavy breathing, you both walk through the door, finding a lab bench in the back.

"Well, hopefully, this class won't be as boring with me there."

You elbow his arm playfully and you can't help but notice how shy his laugh is. He looks to his hands on the countertop, playing with a pen, while releasing a breathy chuckle and a lingering smile along with blush paints his face. You catch yourself staring, so you clear your throat and grab your composition book, ready for the teacher to start lecturing.

All throughout the class, you and Peter kept catching eyes, bumping arms or touching hands as either of you wipe away any eraser chunks from your page. No matter what interaction occurred, it always ended in one, or the both of you, awkwardly laughing or it'd send a maddening red to your cheeks.

Class was over sooner than you wanted it to, which meant it was time for lunch. You both speedily packed your things, still silent, tension gradually developing between the two of you. After the two of you had roamed in the halls and made it to the first floor again, you decide to break the silence.

"So was class less boring with me there?" You hope he'll say yes, maybe he could be getting the same type of butterflies you are.

"No, it was sooooo boring!" Peter squints his eyes as he smiles and pushes his shoulder into you, making you laugh while your cheeks blushed- again. He chuckled before adding, "Y/N, you made that class a lot more enjoyable than before."

"Good," You take a deep breath as you walk into the cafeteria, so many people. Before your social anxiety can fully start to develop, a boy with dark hair and a douchey expression on his face swaggers up to you and Peter. Peter is completely tense and you can sense he's uncomfortable.

"Penis Parker! Did ya finally get a girlfriend?" Your mouth drops and you give a death stare to the dickwad. Peter clenches his jaw before the boy turns to you.

"Oh, wow, new girl is actually kinda hot. How'd you get that Parker?" He looks you up and down, and you feel your blood start to boil. This is why you do what you do, people like this. Who think they are better than everyone, people who think they have power and privilege over everyone in the room. Your body starts to heat up and flames beg to burst through your fingertips.

The moment you started to heat up, Peter's hairs stood on end and his senses overwhelmed him, why was his Spidey-Sense triggered? Flash isn't dangerous. Peter decided to speak up before the situation could get any worse- if possible.

"Flash, can you-" That's when you hit him. You slapped 'Flash' across the face, in front of everyone. 'Ooooh's and various swears can be heard throughout the room as you continue your death stare at Flash. He reaches up and touches his cheek, mouth and eyes wide.

"What that hell?" Flash's cheek starts to turn red and you just know Peter is probably standing there in shock.

Shit. I should've cooled down first. Might've burned him. Oh well, he deserves it. Who knows what other shit he's done.

"Bye, bye, Flash. The new girl and Peter are going to go now, hope you've learnt your lesson." Your voice oozed a poisonous tone, hoping to get your point across.

You turn to look at Peter who is just completely ogling at you. His mouth is ajar and his eyes wide. You grab his elbow like before and drag him to his table, ignoring everyone staring. You take a seat with Peter, across from MJ and who you assumed was Ned. They both were wide-eyed and gaping their mouths.

"Dude, that was badass. Nobody's actually had the guts to stand up to Flash like that." Ned is like a fangirl, and you are glad to know someone is okay with your outburst.

"I mean you could've done without slapping him, who knows what he'll say to his parents." MJ looks concerned and you shrug.

"He deserved it. Who was going to do anything about his behaviour anyway?"

You opened your lunch bag and started peeling your orange. Peter was still completely silent and looked as if he was in deep thought.

He was. He was thinking why would you stand up for him and what did this whole situation remind him of? And why the hell had his Spidey-Sense gone off? From you slapping Flash? But you aren't dangerous to him? Were you? The answers were on the tip of his tongue, but fortunately for you, you pulled him from his thoughts.

"You're awfully quiet. In shock or something? Don't worry, I don't think Flash will vex you anymore." You popped an orange slice in your mouth waiting for his response, but all that came from his was jumbled word vomit.

"I just- you- how- why would you- what just..?" Peter couldn't utter a full sentence because he was just so perplexed.

"I just slapped Flash, yeah. I did cuz he seemed like a prick and you were uncomfortable. Plus, he was so misogynistic. People like him piss me off." You took a deep breath, completely cooling down and moving on from the situation. "Anyway, I have a class with you next, Michelle. AP Lit."

"Yeah, if you like writing as much as you say you do, you'll love this class. Lots of writing." MJ scoops her soup into her mouth and you finish off your orange.

"Ned, what class do you have?" You pull out a sandwich and bite off the corner.

"I have Spanish with Peter, actually." Ned gestures to Peter who was silently playing with his school lunch but perked his head up when he heard his name.

"Huh? What? S-sorry. I wasn't paying attention."

"Ned just was saying that he had Spanish with you." Michelle gives Peter a worried look and continues.

"Are you okay? Is the Y/N slap bugging you?"

"Well, um. I'm just still surprised I guess. I dunno. I'm fine." He looks at his tray, mushing his potatoes with a fork. "Let's talk about something else, okay?"

"Okay..."

You were confused as well, was Peter seriously just surprised you stood up for yourself? Why was he acting so strange? Lunch went on without another hitch, and eventually, Peter went back to his normal self, making terrible jokes and making the conversations flow easily.

MJ quickly pulls you from the lunch table when the bell rang, not even saying goodbye to the boys.

"What are you in a hurry for?"

"Do you like Peter?" MJ puts a hand on your backpack, helping guide you through the crowded halls.

"Wha- What?!" You huff, was it that noticeable? "I just met him yesterday!"

"So? Love at first sight remember?" You scoff at her remark.

"Doesn't exist." You roll your eyes.

"I'm not too sure Peter agrees with that statement. I've never seen him being so flirty with someone like that. What do you think of him?"

"Peter's... Peter is sweet, and funny, and smart, and really cute, but I don't know enough about him to have a crush on him." You speak honestly, you miss having girl talk. It's been a while since you've clicked with someone so easily.

"Well, what about if we invite him over for a study session or movie night with Ned? Get to know him better?" She really was playing cupid or something.

"I don't know, MJ. Maybe in like, a week. But I'd like to get a bit more settled and used to having you guys around if that's alright."

You are definitely getting a bit overwhelmed today, just thinking about everything that's happened and all you want is to be in your new room, sleeping off the day.

"Yeah, no, I understand. That's fine." She seemed to be okay with it, and you were glad she didn't push further.

--------------------------------

After school.

"Where's Peter? Doesn't he live right next door?" Peter had failed to join you and MJ walking back to the apartment building, which was confusing to you.

"He didn't tell you?" You shake your head no, anticipating MJ's explanation.

"Weird. Well, he has an internship at Stark Industries."

"What?! That's crazy!" MJ was so nonchalant about it, it added to your shock and confusion.

"Peter's a smart, and lucky, kid. He does the internship every day after school. About 3 hours." Your mouth hung, still shocked he had that kind of opportunity.

Damn...

You couldn't help but allow your mind to drift to him. You couldn't stop thinking about the tension during chemistry, when he was patient and kind towards you during your outburst, how he called you sunshine, how you could get lost in his brown eyes for-

"Earth to Y/N!" You snapped from your daydreaming when MJ shook your shoulder. "Where did your mind saunter off to?"

"Sorry, I got lost in thought for a second." Your cheeks started to glow, especially when you pass Peter's apartment door.

"Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that Mom and Dad don't get back until dinner time. Mom's a lawyer and Dad's an English professor at the college, so they get back kinda late. I'll be in my room doing some homework if you need me."

"Yeah, cool, I think I'll go out and explore the area a bit."

"Sure, just make sure to have your phone, Mom would lose it if you went without some form of communication." She giggled and you split to your rooms.

You let out a sigh and set your bag down, getting ready for your 'exploration of the area'.

They always buy that.

You grab your phone and make your way to your hideout. Once you arrive and you enter the code, 0522. Joey's birthday. The second the door opens, lights strike on, and Blaze comes to life.

"Hello, Y/N. How was your day?" His surprisingly realistic voice echoes around you, and you smile, finally being alone enough to be your true self.

"Hi, Blaze. It was alright, the family seems nice and the school isn't too bad." You shrug, walking to the case with your suit in it.

"I have an update on the man from yesterday." You nodded, starting to let the flames come to life under your skin.

"He plead guilty, he now has 20 years in prison. Seems your tactics were successful."

"Perfect." You take a deep breath, ready to let out all the pent up energy from the day. You finish putting on your suit, storing your clothes in its place.

"Who's next for tonight?"

"I don't have any explicit target for tonight, but you can patrol."

You let go, flames ruptured from your hands, your hair turns dark, your eyes shift to brown with a hint of red, and your body temperature rises a few hundred degrees.

"Sounds good, Blaze. Notify me around 5 pm to head home." You conceal your face with your mask, Blaze's voice shifting from above you to your ear.

"Affirmative." You walk towards the centre of the room, looking to the tinted sunroof as it starts to open.

"Oh, and let me know if Spider-Man comes around. I'm not too keen on hearing him lecture me tonight."

"Of course."

By now the skylight has opened, and you lift off the floor, your hands and feet propelling you into the sky.

-----------------------------------

An hour or so has passed, and you haven’t done too much, to be honest. You saved 3 women from men in dark alleyways, burnt one man for trying to kidnap a girl, and guided a woman away from a suspicious white van.

It was 4:30, and you were about to call it a night when Blaze alerts you.

“Phoenix, traffic camera’s from 2 streets down have spotted Spider-Man. He seems to be headed in your direction.”

“Dammit. What’s the best route around the bug?” You sigh and look around from the rooftop you were on, hoping to not spot the red and blue.

“Arachnid actually.” You roll your eyes and let out an exasperated sigh.

You’ve gotta be shitting me.

You turn to come face to face with the arachnid and ready flames in your hands.

“Why can’t you just leave me be?” You ball your fists, flames straightening out the sides of your hands.

“Because I can’t let you keep hurting these people.” He keeps his hands at his sides, his masked eyes being the only things moving.

“Please,” You scoff before continuing. “The ‘people’ I hurt, deserve it. Trust me.”

“They deserve to go to jail, not be scarred by your flames or killed by your rage.” Flames start to escape your fists, shooting out in all directions. Spider-Man raises his hands, ready to use his ice webs if necessary.

“The men that I target, they deserve to be scarred. To be marked. Maybe then fewer women, children, and families will be broken.”

“I understand. But the way you are doing things is wrong.” Before he can continue, Blaze reignites in your ear and reminds you of the time.

“Shit.”

The masked spider takes this as an opportunity to make a move. He shoots an ice web at you, extinguishing your flames and sticking you to the wall behind you.  

“What the hell?!” You promptly reignite yourself, making the webs burn off of you.

“I need to bring you to see reason!” His voice is raised, whatever accent he used trying to mask his voice disappeared and you can’t help but do double-take.

I swear I’ve heard his voice before.

“You need to know that there are other ways to get justice!” At this,

You release the flames burning in your hands, directed at him. He dodges and tries to web you. This ‘dance’ continues for a while before you decide you need to really get going.

“Leave. Me. Alone!” You and your surrounding area bursts into flames, making Spider-Man flip backwards, trying to save himself from getting burned. With him more than 15 feet away, you take this as your chance and lift off the ground.

You do one last check, and see Spider-Man slouching against the wall, holding his right thigh. You got away, but you couldn’t help but have a sinking feeling in your stomach.

Why did you care that he was hurt? You were confused, especially because it hurt more when you realised you were the one to hurt him.

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#peter parker #spiderman #villain!reader #first series #give feedback pls

[irepookie]

Infinity Chapter 4-

Meet The Family (PT.1)

Summary: QUEEN AU where Rog (aka Rowan Queen) is a young single dad struggling to make it into music industry.

Warnings: not really. Just fluff, sappiness and swearwords here and there

Disclaimer: I don't own the pictures. The boys are based on Queen, but Piper, Gina and Callie are mine

John: Rick Lincoln (Cause he is John Richard Deacon born on August 19th 1951™™™™™)

Brian: Terry Garrett (Cause my uncle used to have a black puddle named Terry and I had no choice)

Freddie: Len Mars (Yea I couldn't help myself)

Chapter 4- Row opens up with the boys about the raisin.

“I'm a dad”........

"Okay, let's... let's get over this again: A daughter?" Terry, the band's guitarist couldn't believe his ears.

"Yes, Terry. A daughter" Row repeated for the 19th time from the other side of the phone.

"A baby." Len said, taking another sip of his tequila.

"No, a 30 year old alpaca." Row said sarcastically. "Yes, a goddamn baby. Fucking gorgeous, just so you know"

"And you're gonna keep her." Rick, who had been quietly plunking his bass' strings, added. "Are you sure?"

"It's done. I've already kept her. And it's not like I'm rescuing a shelter dog. She's mine. Period."

"Sorry, was just trying to... Wrap my head around it"

To be honest, Row still couldn't quite believe it (that he was a father). Not even now, as he tried to convince his best friends while holding his girl with the other arm.

"And is your mom okay with it?" Terry asked

He scoffed, clutching his Lil raisin close at the thought "My mom has no say in this".

"But she knows" Rick said.

He sighed "Yes, she knows. And she was a bitch about it, okay? She can disown me for all I care". It's not like there was much to inherit, anyway.

There was a general sigh from his three best friends.

"And what are you gonna do?"

" 'bout what?"

"Um, I don't know, man. About School? Maybe about your life in general?"

"School ain't something I'm worrying about".

"What a surprise" Rick rolled his eyes.

"But you're still in the band right?" Len said

"Oh, of course. Of course. You guys are gonna be the only ones keeping me sane"

They chuckled

"But we ain't gonna babysit for you, huh?"

"As if you knew anything about babies"

"Well, the same as you." Terry said

"Just what I was saying: nothing at all" Row grinned

"Her future looks bright, then" Len half teased.

"Incandescent, in fact" Row could pretty much hear Terry's arched eyebrow.

The youngest member could only roll his eyes and try not to take it as an insult. He knew this was a lot to process all of a sudden and that in the inside, beyond the sarcasm and teasing, they were happy for him.

"Whatever, guys" he replied, as Pips began to frown. He sighed, knowing that meant smelly treat was on its way "Gotta go. By the way, she just told me she thinks you guys stink" he grinned, before hanging up.

The other three men exchanged a confused glance, and stayed in silence for a minute, until Len broke it:

"I say he'll go completely nuts in seven days".

"That long? Nah, I think less than 24 hours after they leave the hospital." Terry said

Len smirked "Bet?"

"I'm a bit tight at the moment, pal"

"Then not money. If I win, you'll be my model for the midterm design project. It's 30's fashion. For ladies, of course".

"Ok. But if I win you'll do my chores for a whole weeks."

"A whole week?!"

"Seven days, if you prefer it."

They shook hands "Deal. Rick? Join us?"

"I actually rather believe that they'll be alright" Rick got up and stretched.

"Well of course they will. Eventually. Row always figures things out." T said

"The fun part is to watch him go crazy in the meantime" Len chuckled "Like when he first moved in and left a fork in the plate when first using the microwave"

They laughed, remembering how their friend had called them at 9 PM in panic, screaming the microwave had exploded.

"Let's just hope for the best. I mean he seemed quite sure of himself this time. And who knows, maybe being a dad is the best way to grow up." Rick defended

"Yea, well a bit radical, don't you think?" Len said

"Like sock therapy. If smokers quit when diagnosed with lung cancer, maybe Row settles down now he has a baby"

"I just still don't get why he didn't just put her in adoption" T said

Rick shrugged "Would you if you were in his shoes?"

"Absolutely"

"That's exactly how Row would've answered, say, a week ago. That's what we all answer. Until it really happens. I think it's one of those situations where you can't really picture until you live it."

"But this is Rowan Queen we're talking about. Rowan <<Made out with both Jones Twins at the same party Cause I didn't remember which was which>> Queen. I mean, he does know that a kid is gonna freeze his sex life for indefinite time, right? What the hell was going through his head?" Terry said

"I can't believe you think that." Len interjected "I mean, I'm the one who's never gonna be a dad here, and the one who failed biology, but even I get it. He met her right? Before any decision was made, he met her. Once you meet your kid, you're tangled up forever. And you might think you're not but if you give them away you'll never get rid of a feeling of remorse."

"Wow, Lenny, that was deep"

"Yea, where'd you get that from?"

"Just common sense."

"Funny, considering you're the one who's started the bet" Rick grinned

"One thing doesn't prevent the other. And out of the two of us, I'm the optimistic! He gave him one day, I gave him seven! I trust him"

"Well I'm not sure if I do. I mean, I love him, he's a great guy, a great musician, and everything else, but he's not reliable. Remember his first job as a waiter? I'm still waiting for the fish and chips I ordered last April"

The other two chuckled "I once lent him a t-shirt, and I swear I saw Liz Michael's wearing it" Len said

"See what I mean?"

"Yes, well, we can't do anything about it, T. It's his life"

"But this affects us too, one way or another. This affects the band. And he didn't even consult us"

"Well what did you expect him to do? Call and go <<Hey guys, are you fine with me having a daughter? No? Okay, just checking. Bye>>?" Rick imitated a phone with his hand, doing a decent impression of their friend's high voice.

"A head's up would have been nice"

"Terry, just chill for fucks shake. I mean, this is unexpected, but Row's our best friend, our brother, and we have to support him. Because, if he's a dad, that's makes us her uncle's. And it'll be fun having a little niece we can spoil" Len smiled at the idea.

"Spoil? With what money?" Terry, always realistic, put his hands on his hips

"With the upcoming tour's, of course darlings" he twirled majestically around the room

"First, that's in four months" Rick reminded

"If it does happen at all"

They still had one last song to arrange And record. Plus, they didn't know how Row was gonna make it work now he had a baby. But nobody addressed that concern out loud.

"Oh don't be so goddamn negative, fellas! C'mon! We're uncle's! Row's made a very important, life-changing, mature decision, and we should be proud of him. So" he went to the fridge and returned with three beers "I say we toast for him and the lil Queenie"

The other two grinned and accepted the cans, opening them.

"Oh, I say we Split a fourth beer in his behalf, cause parents shouldn't drink while breastfeeding" Terry mocked, earning a laugh

"To the Queens" Rick raised his can "For our little bro to take this seriously and not fuck this kid up"

"To the Queens" Terry and Len crashed theirs as well.

🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁

Meanwhile, in the hospital...

"Goddamn it, raisin! How can someone so small produce so many colors of something so stinky?" Row exclaimed, holding his breath as he clipped the fresh nappy on his daughter "We only feed you milk! Like... Like white milk! How can you turn a white liquid into rainbow pudding? Holy shit" he held the dirty one at arms length and threw it in the bin "It's a damn good thing I love you, cause I won't do this for anyone else" he told her, lifting her up to his chest again before walking around the room

"You gonna be a good girl for me for the next eighteen years? Huh?" He kissed her chubby cheek "What am I saying? You're my daughter, of course you're gonna be a trouble maker. But we'll get along, you'll see. I ain't gonna be like my parents. Don't worry. I won't be a bloody pain in the ass like mom, and I will never ever do anything my old man did. That I can promise. But I gotta admit I do want you to be like Gina. Yea, she's a control freak sometimes, but let's face it: she's gotta be the strongest person I've ever met. You should've seen her kicking the bastard out the house. She took no shit."

He smiled somewhat proudly at the memory, and for a second forgot how mad he was at her for turning her back on them.

"You wanna be a badass gurl like her? Huh? Yes you do. Yes you do" he cooed, craning his neck so he could brush his nose with her little button one. Her fist chose to close around the nearest strands of blond hair on reach, which he found secretly adorable.

But a part of him did wish he had mom's support. After all, despite the rough patches through his teens, they had always had each other's back; through thick and thin. She had have to raise him all alone, and although he hadn't even begun with Pips, he already knew it hadn't been easy. She may be stern, and a bit inflexible when it came to negotiating allowance. She could come across as rude if you caught her in the wrong mood (which many neighbors had) but above all she was a good person and a good mother.

And looking back, he hadn't been such a great son. He could have been more responsible, less handful and more obedient. Less rebellious, too. He could have thanked her more often for the thousand things she did everyday. For the meals. For all the jobs she had taken to provide for the two of them. For the surprise birthday gift she had got him with the money she had been saving: a real drum kit. For helping him move out her house into that one room crappy appartement which would be Pip's home.

But still she had rejected Piper without a second thought, regardless of her anger towards him; Pips was her granddaughter, she had done nothing wrong and as her father, Row doubted he would ever forgive Gina.

He sighed, untangling the hand of his hair and bringing it to his lips "But you don't have to worry about all that. Just concentrate on staying strong and growing up. And I promise I'll focus all of me on being the best dad. That you'll never miss a mom cause you don't need one. You've got me and I swear I'll be enough. Even if I'm still young: I'll have it all more fresh won't I?" He grinned "You're the one person who's never judged me yet, and I don't wanna let you down"

That a was vow. And he was determined to keep it.

🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁

This one goes to my mega-paragraphist @definitely-darcy who's got my engine going through the usual inspiration blocks, and who's reviews help me improve. She's made me believe in this fic, and encouraged me to keep going despite the one digit notes.

Xx- Pookie

#queen band #roger taylor #single dad! roger taylor #dad roger #brian may #Freddie Mercury #john deacon #queen fic #no smut just fluff #non romantic #Infinity fic #baby prune

[florrickandassociates]

TGF Thoughts: 3x05-- The One Where a Nazi Gets Punched

One recap down, two to go. Think I’ll be able to write them before the next ep airs? I doubt it. 

The episode opens by confirming Maia’s gone from RBL: Her name’s no longer on what used to be her office, her documents are being shredded, and all her personal belongings are in a box.

Marissa decides to pick a fight with an associate over Maia. “If you didn’t like Maia, you could have just come out and said that,” Marissa says. Uh. I don’t think Maia got fired because one associate didn’t like her but okay Marissa. The associate insists she’s not happy because she didn’t like Maia, she’s pleased that the zero-tolerance policy is being enforced consistently.

I do wish people would stop saying “Maia’s been arrested twice” because one of those arrests was in no way her fault. Every time anyone tries to use that as an argument, it makes me want to defend Maia even though I totally believe the partners had reason to fire her.

“Maia didn’t use drugs,” Marissa, who faked a drug test on Maia’s behalf, insists. Alright Marissa.

The whole 22nd floor starts to bicker, and Julius goes to inform the other partners that Marissa is stirring the pot. “She’s only stirring the pot because she feels that Maia was made a sacrificial lamb to the fact that the partners don’t want to pay for true financial parity here,” Diane says in defense of Maia/Marissa. Does that mean Diane wants to take whatever pay cuts and struggles come with paying true parity? Or does that just mean Diane wants her goddaughter to be able to get ahead?

To pay everyone the same amount at each level (which I’m not convinced actually gets at the root of the problem if they don’t put measures in place to make sure performance evaluations and opportunities are also awarded equally) would cost the firm $800,000 a year. That’s less than I thought, if only because whenever the partners are personally liable for something it’s always at least a million a person and when they bring in a big client it’s always like 35 million dollars/year in billing. And didn’t they pay off lots of the women Reddick assaulted with at least 800k?

Adrian is very right: this strategy would also raise the lowest performers to the level of the highest performers (within their job title), and then the highest are going to want more, and then the problem resets. How do you determine who the highest are, and which of the highest threaten to leave and which stay no matter what, and so on.

“Maybe we should consider it a human resources issue,” Julius says. Maybe? MAYBE? You’ve got associates fighting while on the job and internal documents circulating and you’re only NOW thinking to involve HR?

Julius wants to hire an expensive sensitivity trainer to talk to the associates instead of paying them more. Sounds like something the partners need more than the associates. Also would that go over well? I’m imagining the associates being like, wait, they have money for this but not money to pay me fairly? And now they’re telling me I need sensitivity training to cover their own asses, as though I just decided to pay myself less? If they do this sort of training in conjunction with an actual fix, sure, whatever, they may need it just to deal with the infighting. But alone? Noooope.

This conversation gets interrupted by an assistant telling Adrian that Judge Dunaway is wondering why he’s not in court. “An associate” is there and Dunaway wants to know why no one else has showed up. None of the partners knew anything about a motion in this case, so they suspect Maia of trying to steal their client.

I think Maia could try to steal a client, but I don’t think she’d ever think to do it.

They put Maia on their biggest case? Just Maia and Lucca and the partners? This sounds wrong.

Maia’s not returning Diane’s calls. I think it’s pretty clear that Diane wants the best for Maia, but I can totally see why it might not feel that way to Maia. She’s not handling this in the most mature way, but I’ll cut her some slack. She was just fired, after all!

Lucca and Jay are in the middle of nowhere, poll watching. Lucca worries this assignment is punishment for stirring up the salary drama (though idk how anyone other than Jay would know to tie it to Lucca!) and I don’t think she’s wrong. She’s a fucking department head and they have her out poll watching?

Maia isn’t the surprise co-counsel: Blum is. That makes way more sense, but also, UGH. I’m over Blum.

This case is interesting but I’m still going to write it up as “Case stuff happens” for the most part. Its premise is more interesting than its execution. I kinda just want to Google what kinds of suits are pending against real life genetic testing companies.

Blum got on this case because of documents he stole from Diane’s office. It is very possible RBL has worse security than Alicia’s apartment building.

Maia’s got a new job at something called Consult-a-Lawyer, a phone helpline that charges clients by the minute (and makes sure each call takes many minutes). This seems terrible.

Lucca and Jay talk with their Republican counterparts; they disagree but can at least talk about their disagreements. Also, none of them are really there to be poll monitors; they are there to try to sway the election results by fighting to selectively enforce rules. I’m sure they’d take issue with that phrasing but that’s what they’re doing.

Marissa’s noticeably grumpy at work and tells Diane it’s because her “best friend” was fired. Marissa says and does so much stuff that no one else could get away with; this is not a proper way to conduct yourself at work-- especially towards the people who are on your side.

Diane is reaching out to other firms on Maia’s behalf. That’s privilege at work right there.

Diane tasks Marissa with watching Blum. She also confuses Marissa and Maia, which is weird since only one of them is her goddaughter.

I am SO OVER Blum. Why is he so loud?! When I watch these episodes first thing on Thursday mornings, the last thing I need is his maniacal screaming.

Marissa is unimpressed with Blum.

OH MY GOD MAKE HIS LOUDNESS STOP. I just don’t care. Just gonna let this next bit with the song play while I change my sheets, because I have nothing to say about it.

And then I did laundry, went on two trips, and visited a bunch of bookstores and now I’m back, three recaps behind.

I didn’t even get to the credits before I stopped writing!? Me of three weeks ago, what were you doing?! (The credits are 17 minutes in, to be fair.)

He’s so loud! So! Loud!

Some sort of white (male) supremacist group shows up at the precinct Lucca and Jay are monitoring.

Diane and Liz meet with the sensitivity consultant, who has them do an exercise as a test. It’s one of those games where you take a step forward/backward if a sentence describes you. Neither Diane nor Liz wants to participate, but the game ends up working on them: turns out they both like singing, Prince, Roma, and Hannah Gadsby. LOLLOL I believe every one of those things.

I don’t know what Lucca thinks Diane will be able to do to help with the white supremacists, but she probably doesn’t suspect Diane’s going to have her unwittingly help #Resistance.

Case stuff happens. It involves Blum singing. Go away.

Jay calls Naomi with the story about the Red Jackets, while Diane’s #Resistance buddy (what is her name? I’m going to have to pay more attention because she is “The Young One Who Does Computer Things” to me, but she’s been in enough episodes I should probably learn her name) gets the Red Jackets fired.

Case stuff happens. Blum puts another actor on a stand as a witness.

Marissa comes to visit Maia at work. At this job, Maia actually has to do work and gets negative feedback when she doesn’t do work well, so as happy as she is to see Marissa (and the Sunglasses of Badassery), she can’t chat long.

Maia is not as happy to help with work related things. In fact, given that I’ve seen the next two episodes (and the end of this one), Marissa reaching out to Maia about something work related may even make Maia feel like her work friends never really cared about her.

Marissa also brings Maia a list of three firms where Diane’s put in a good word. “Diane doesn’t care about me,” Maia, who got the only two jobs she’s ever held because of Diane, insists. Sure, Maia. But I won’t criticize her too much-- she WAS just fired.

Marissa loudly informs the entire Phone-A-Lawyer office that it’s “not fine” to work there. I love Marissa but she lacks self-awareness, like, all the time when she’s not undercover.

Maia’s supervisor isn’t pleased Marissa’s shown up during work hours. She asks her to leave, but does help out with the case.

“If you don’t call them, I will,” the woman in the cubicle next to Maia interjects, offering Maia some much-needed perspective. Maia’s been through a lot, but it’s still clear she’s not someone who has ever had to worry about money.

Lucca calls the police on two of the Red Jackets (they’re sex offenders) just as Naomi’s news van shows up.

Naomi and Jay are a couple which surprised me but, you know, I don’t hate it. Actually, I think I like it.

The judge Adrian is sleeping with does him a favor in court. This relationship? I don’t think I like it.

Diane and Liz regroup about the sensitivity consultant. Liz doesn’t think she’s worth the money, since no sensitivity game will ever solve racism (she’s right-- I don’t know that I think they’re completely useless but they are never going to get at the root of the problem). Diane suggests midyear bonuses instead; Liz points out they’ll know they’re being bought off.

Then something magical happens: Diane and Liz start SINGING! It’s so fun. It’s also a great character moment. We’ve never seen Diane have a female peer at work she could just be herself around, and this strengthens the Diane/Liz friendship that’s driving a lot of the season.

A sex scene quite rudely interrupts the wonderful duet.

If anyone’s written anything on Judge Hazelwood, I’d love to read it. I’m intrigued by her use of power but I think I need to read someone else’s take to fully understand what the writers are (attempting to) do with her.

“Your head is like a sculpture. I want to cut it off and put it on my desk,” is a VERY DISTURBING LINE.

Maia’s using her mom’s maiden name again-- smart. And she took Diane up on the interview offers-- also smart. (Yes, I’ll call her privileged for even having those offers, but I don’t take issue with her using connections. I don’t care if she’s privileged; I care when she lacks self-awareness about it.)

The job won’t start until November, which makes Maia angry. She sees this as Diane trying to fuck her over, when really she’s been offered a job 30 seconds after introducing herself because Diane’s recommendation means so much. Maia TURNS IT DOWN, even though it’s a promise of good work in six months and the best lead she has. Unless there’s going to be something in the contract about how she cannot accept another job if one comes up in those six months before she officially starts, WHY? WHY TURN DOWN GOOD WORK AT A TOP FIRM JUST BECAUSE YOU FEEL LIKE YOU COULD DO BETTER? YOU’RE WORKING AT PHONE-A-LAWYER.

And this dude gives her so many chances-- he even says to let her know if she winds up being available.

Her only question is whether Diane knew about the late start date. The interviewer thinks so, and Maia takes it as a personal insult. Oof. You know what most low-ranking people who are fired for drug use get? Here’s a hint: it’s not interviews at three top firms with the highest recommendation from a well-respected name partner.

NOTHING about this reaction from Maia is out of character for her. I just have no patience for it.

Adrian and Blum collaborate in one of the more interesting scenes they’ve done with Blum. He’s loud and devious, but he’s not stupid. And watching Adrian understand and go along with Blum’’s strategizing-- setting the stage for him to normalize all of Blum’s other, more illegal antics as appropriate workplace behavior-- is fascinating.

Naomi is polite when interviewing one of the Red Jackets, but she refuses to shake his hand. I like that moment.

Jay punches one of the Red Jackets after the Red Jacket antagonizes him. The Republican poll monitor sees the whole thing, but decides to say nothing. (The point, basically, is that we can find common ground with people we disagree with, and that only CERTAIN people we disagree with are actually the enemy.)

A riot breaks out and we see only a little bit of it before Jay starts monologuing about his belief that Nazis should be punched. Dunno to what extent I agree (slippery slope, etc) but I do know I’m not going to waste any time being outraged over one of them being punched.

More case stuff happens.

Lucca, Jay, and Naomi share beers after the riot. They’ve all emerged from the riot safely. This is a nice scene; I love watching these characters just hang out. Apparently Jay had a crush on Lucca for a little while, which I find kinda cute as long as it doesn’t go anywhere beyond that (SO OVER WORKPLACE ROMANCES ON THIS SHOW).

Maia calls Lucca, but Lucca can’t get any reception so she decides to be 2x14 Alicia and find a high spot on top of a car. Her phone still gobbles the call, though. Maia takes this, too, as a personal insult.

Diane calls Maia and Maia refuses to answer. Oh, Maia. If I got the sense she wanted to do this without help-- kind of like s7 Alicia not wanting to answer to anyone-- that would be one thing. This just sounds petty.

Oh goodie! We get MORE BLUM in the future: he’s now working with RBL on the Second Helix case for the near future. Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay.

Maia’s packing up her apartment now that she can’t afford the rent, and another firm Diane set her up with tells her the soonest they can interview her is in a month. Well, at least she’s still trying. She throws her phone on the floor in frustration, and I do feel bad for her. Just, like, not that bad.

Lucca shows up at Maia’s door, since Maia’s now not answering her phone. Lucca explains her day and why she wasn’t near her phone-- and her reasons are, of course, valid-- and Maia just doesn’t care. You’ll remember that Lucca doesn’t have friends and that when Lucca shows up for someone, she’s all in. Maia, who is actually friends with Lucca, has not picked up on this (or is not willing to acknowledge it). Lucca offers to get dinner (and to pay), and to spend time away from her baby after a stressful day. She says she feels awkward about how things went down at work.

Maia doesn’t just decline the invitation or say it’s not a good time. She says she and Lucca were “work friends” and shuts the door. Well, that’s harsh. I don’t really fault Maia for feeling detached from her old workplace or awkward around her old work friends, or for needing time to herself. But wow, this is a phenomenally awful way to treat a friend. (And not that I need to pile on more, but Lucca and Marissa have both been FAR more supportive of Maia than Maia’s ever been of them.)

#this may be my worst recap ever #i don't mean that in a 'omg please validate me' way i mean that in a #'wow i didn't say much of anything about this bc i didn't put much thought into it since i just wanted to get it done' way #also the next 2 eps are maia free so maybe for once i'll do something other than complain about her #but if i'm not complaining about maia and i'm barely recapping anything blum does what will i even write #tgfthoughts