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starsandhughes · 1 year

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Penalty Box— Trevor Zegras (Part Seven)

SERIES MASTERLIST

previous: six

next: eight

corresponding quinn post

MONDAY, FEBRUARY 27, 2023

PREGAME

yourusername

liked by colecaufield, trevorzegras, and 4,311 others

yourusername welcome to my pregame update: bets addition! trevor currently stands at 4 games without a penalty, and quinn stands at 5. the last pic is the bets for tonights games! after the games, i’ll let you all know who owes what <3

game day, yay day!!

tagged trevorzegras, _quinnhughes, jackhughes, lhughes_06, jamie.drysdale, _alexturcotte, and colecaufield

view all 317 comments

trevorzegras it’s on😤😈

yourusername be an angel i want money

jackhughes be a devil (😏) i want money

user1 there’s so many possibilities here omg

user2 i want to be a fly on the wall if they’re all facetiming

_quinnhughes may the odds be ever in our favor

yourusername ihy<3

_quinnhughes says the one who can’t watch mockingjay pt 2 without pausing to cry

yourusername ihy (x2)

jackhughes @_quinnhughes for once i’m with y/n

jamie.drysdale “what is it all for? what do you want?”

yourusername “in a word— chaos.”

trevorzegras stop quoting snl

yourusername @/trevorzegras but i truly started these bets for chaos

user3 who wants to bet how long it takes until half the league is in this betting pool😂

_alexturcotte it’s like hell week all in one night

colecaufield true

yourusername you’re welcome! :)))

user4 i love that jack is betting against everybody

lhughes_06 there is no way anyone is coming out of this unscathed

yourusername yolo

trevorzegras @/yourusername my love can only go so far please stop using that

lhughes_06 @/yourusername i agree

yourusername careful boys, i have your moms phone numbers

lhughes_06 @/yourusername my mom is literally your mom

yourusername @/lhughes_06 yeah, that’s how i have her number

jackhughes viva los vegas🎰

trevorzegras you’re not funny

jackhughes i didn’t ask

POSTGAME

yourusername

liked by jackhughes, trevorzegras, and 6,289 others

yourusername welcome to my postgame penalty box update: ducks addition! today will have multiple posts, because i refuse to have just one unhinged photo. onto the news!

tonight, the love of my life (and current greatest enemy) received a penalty for slashing and is back to zero games since his last time in the box. i owe jack a lot of money and that’s simply the worst fate. thanks, babe<3

BUT THE DUCKS WON 4-2 SO AT LEAST SOME PEOPLE (besides j*ck🙄) WON TONIGHT!! stay tuned for quinn’s post!

tagged trevorzegras, _quinnhughes, lhughes_06, jackhughes, jamie.drysdale, _alexturcotte, and colecaufield

view all 702 comments

jackhughes why did you turn my name into a swear word when all i do is love and support you with my friendship?

yourusername you can’t even prove that?

jackhughes @/trevorzegras your girlfriend is gaslighting me

trevorzegras @/jackhughes you can’t even prove that

trevorzegras sorry you owe jack 2 hundy but i love you, forever🧡

yourusername mhmm i love you, always

jamie.drysdale @/trevorzegras she was cursing your name more than jack’s

trevorzegras @/jamie.drysdale that’s true love, baby

user1 y/n really put all her faith in her boyfriend and best friend and they did her dirty

user2 is no one gonna mention that alex also won all his bets

_quinnhughes i agree j*ck sucks

jackhughes what about brother solidarity?!

yourusername @/jackhughes 1. you bet against him. 2. best friend privileges so suck it

_quinnhughes @/jackhughes what she said

user3 when he’s a criminal>>> 🥵

jamie.drysdale you won by spending time with me!

yourusername i mean i guess

trevorzegras that’s just another L

_alexturcotte thank you for the chaos you created! love ya!

yourusername no, you just love the facetime screenshots of me crying

colecaufield @/yourusername i also love those and u

yourusername @/colecaufield @_alexturcotte i love you both too ig but ur on probation😘

user4 i cannot wait to see what happens when the canucks and ducks play each other

trevorzegras EVERYONE KEEPS COMMENTING THAT THEY LOVE YOU SO I JUST NEED TO SAY I LOVE YOU MOST, MY BEAUTIFUL CRAZY GIRL

yourusername i love you always, z🧡

jamie.drysdale gross

jackhughes brb i’m gagging

lhughes_06 maybe we should lower the stakes for the ducks v canucks game😂

yourusername i knew you were good for something! love ya lukey!

lhughes_06 love you too?

user5 this comment section has sm love for y/n it’s adorable

jamie.drysdale it’s because she cried

jackhughes this is charity work

#penalty box series #sorry if it sucks #trevor zegras imagine #trevor zegras fic #trevor zegras insta edit #trevor zegras x reader #trevor zegras #quinn hughes #jack hughes #luke hughes #jamie drysdale #anaheim ducks #nhl players #nhl imagine #alex turcotte #cole caufield

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stormyoceans · 2 months

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top5 puentalay kisses/hugs?

im pretty late with this but i would never pass up a chance to be annoying about vice versa so here we go!!!!!!! (also im not sure if i was supposed to pick only one of the two but again I SIMPLY CANNOT PASS UP A CHANCE TO BE ANNOYING ABOUT VICE VERSA IM SORRY)

TOP 5 PUENTALAY KISSES

1. greyllery kiss in episode 8. this is their first mutual kiss after two one-sided kisses, three almost kisses, three cheek kisses, and one forehead kiss. not to mention the hugs, the cuddles, the promises, the sleeping in the same bed, the taking a bath together, and i could go on but imma stop here before i get involuntary committed. we waited so long for this kiss and when it finally happened it was everything we could have ever asked for and MORE: the confession, the music, the parallels with the glasshouse kiss, the fact that it happens when the lights are out because they love each other for who they really are and not for the body they inhabit, puen's single tear......IT'S PERFECT.

2. glasshouse kiss in episode 4. i know having a one-sided kiss for second place doesn't seem fair but in my defense this kiss makes me go through such a plethora of human emotions that i feel like i need to go lay in the dirt for several hours to climb down from the sheer manic unhinged rabid energies that got me going on. y’all must be tired of hearing me say the same things over and over again about this kiss but. the build up!!!!!! the emotions!!!!!! the music!!!!!! IM NOT EVEN KIDDING WHEN I TELL YOU THIS KISS IS MY ROMAN EMPIRE.

3. beach kiss in our skyy episode 2. our skyy may have given us only one kiss but WHAT A KISS IT WAS. it feels like a sum of all their previous ones, the cycle closing with a recollection of the past and a promise for the future, as the kiss itself lets us know that no matter what's gonna happen from that moment on, they will always love each other like the very first day. and if the reminder of the drunk kiss in episode 2 wasn’t enough to drive this point across, the song they used during this scene is the same as the one they played during the greyllery kiss, which you know. [FEMALE HYSTERIA]

4. foggy glasses kiss in episode 12. honestly can't think of any other scene in television history that was able to so perfectly portray a fictional character being left breathless, lightheaded, and weak at the knees by a kiss. the way puen is holding talay's head with BOTH OF HIS HANDS to keep talay in place which barely gives talay any time to take a breath...... the way they're so close and entangled in each other that you can barely tell where one starts and the other ends...........this kiss literally be turning both me and talay into the 🥴 emoji every single time.

5. reunion kiss in episode 11. it was a tough choice between this one and the bathtub kiss in episode 10, but in the end i had to go with their first kiss in their real bodies, not just because of this, but because there's so much love and comfort and reassurance packed in it. this kiss is the meeting of two souls who have missed and found each other again. it's the promise of being together for the rest of their life AND I FEEL SO NORMAL ABOUT IT IT’S HONESTLY INSANE HOW NORMAL AND HINGED AND SANE AND FINE I FEEL ABOUT IT.

TOP 5 PUENTALAY HUGS

1. reunion hug in episode 11. LITERALLY THEE SINGLE MOST SCENE EVER IN THE HISTORY OF TELEVISION IT CHANGED THE TRAJECTORY OF MY LIFE THE FOUNDATION OF MY PERSONHOOD AND THE CHEMICAL MAKE UP OF MY BRAIN. puen says "you must be very tired. from now on, things will be okay," and that's exactly the feeling this hug conveys: everything will be fine, you're home now.

2. comfort hug in episode 6. my grasp on the english language is too limited to even attempt to put into words what this hug did to me the first time i've watched it. it made me mentally deranged in ways so profound they will only become apparent years down the line. to this day there are people out there wondering why talay even likes puen and the urge to shove this scene under their nose is immeasurable. FIND YOURSELF A PARTNER WHO WILL LISTEN TO YOUR FEARS, GIVE YOU COMFORT, AND HUG YOU THROUGH THE NIGHT TO MAKE YOU FEEL SAFE!!!!!!! (@GOD ME WHEN)

3. reconciliation hug in episode 7. I NEEDED THIS HUG JUST AS MUCH AS PUEN DID TBH. talay initiating any kind of physical affection always feels incredibly special and precious, and it is so much more here because this is him finally realizing that puen's feelings are sincere. this hug is the turning point of their relationship as talay implicitly accepts puen's love and confesses his own. it’s just so emotionally satisfying [SOBS]

4. back hug in episode 12 and in our skyy episode 1. LOOK I KNOW IM CHEATING BUT. THE DOMESTICITY THE COMFORT THE TENDERNESS THE AFFECTION THE ADORATION THE SOFTNESS THE WARMTH THE PARALLELISM THE ROMANTICISM THE SOULMATISM THE TRUE LOVISM OF IT ALL. YEARS LATER THEY'RE STILL THE SAME.

5. hourglass hug in episode 12. the hourglass with the sand that doesn’t fall!!!!!!! i don't want time to go by without you!!!!!!! from this moment on it's you and me!!!!!!! ‘city’ playing in the background!!!!!!! the moon watching over them!!!!!!! WAILING WEEPING HOWLING SCREECHING CRYING SOBBING SCREAMING--

#sorry again for the late reply and thank you so much for asking!!!!!!#hope you're having a wonderful day!!!!!! 💜💜💜#vice versa #puentalay #my top 5 #m: ask

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lowpolyskeletonz · 2 months

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HLVRV: 2, 5 and 8!

I've already done 5 but let's do 2 and 8!

My top 3 favs....

Benrey: Hes just such an interesting stupid lil guy. He's completely changed me. He transed me. He's such a guy. He's so silly yet so interesting I. He's tye most sentimental of the science team... Joy...

Gordon: Gordon is just also very silly. He's the straight man. He kicks ass and then gets his ass kicked. He is what makes most of the comedy in HLVRAI work so well. I also love how he's also just as unhinged as the rest of the team sometimes. Gordon sprint. Robbing banks. What a guy.

Dr coomer: I could go on for HOURS about Dr Coomer. He is probably the most plot rich character in the series and I simply CANNOT. I love how Holly voiced him. The realistic jankiness of his voice lines and the incredibly deep and profound plot points he has. Hes probably one of the only guys giving hlvrai a narrative and I CAN NOT wait to see him in Hl2vrai. Come home Dr Coomer.

And for 8! Probably part of Dr Coomers "If you woke up one day and realised everything around you was a lie, was fake, what would you do?"

Anything else Dr Coomer has said could probably work though. Such a profound lil guy.

#Bones wisdom #I'm sorry im autistic about the Coomer #hlrvai

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marciego · 9 months

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Your mutuals as dcla ships?

(Like vibes or aesthetics or whatever works for you)

omg let's go yes that's so fun <3 gonna try my best not to redo ships and i'll try not to automatically assign everyone their fav ship but this is gonna be hard like i'm just used to associating them with y'all

@musicallad for you i'm going for a nice and sweet napo/braco and not just because you're the most vocal about them in the fandom, like you're just so nice and sweet to everyone and doing your thing all nicely like i think the vibes just work

@time-never-waits-for-me oh girlie it's camcesca, and ONCE AGAIN i promise i'm not saying it just because you're a camcesca warrior it's just their brand of chaos fits you so well i feel?? like cami is so unhinged and everything she brings out of fran is so much fun and idk it just works

@gaybarbiegirl JAZMBAR fashion girlies + really fun dynamic + aesthetically something works idk what but it does, the only con is that it's an ambar ship and you so don't take yourself that seriously at all but somehow it's not making me change my mind like jazmbar just works

@iristhedeadflower i'm giving you the greatest honor of all here girlie, you give off so much cadmila energy the vibes couldn't be more fitting if i tried, like i'm not even gonna say more it just makes sense

@putonmyfavoriteshow this is gonna be the BIGGEST compliment ever coming from me but i'm gonna say marcesca, you're so kind and fun and nice to everyone and minding your business having fun and being so nice to interact with, it's giving me easy, simple, cute, good vibes marcesca <3

@countessofravenclaw i'm trying not to assign anyone their fav FAV ship but i gotta say gastina and you make a lot of sense so it's hard, still giving you the honor of assigning you pelfi because you're so sweet and supportive and it's always so fun to interact with you!! but yes that's me being difficult because i think your vibes do match gastina more

@assim-eu-sou ok don't ask me why like really don't but i'm going with leonara, like i think it's their kinda really chill and mature vibe that you have? leonara makes sense to me but i couldn't explain why

@alainapaloosa2 natila!!! i think your vibes are so fitting for natila it's just so fun they just work you know

@inthehausofholbein another one i simply cannot explain but my heart is screaming ludcesca to me and what can i do but listen

this was super fun to do, i hope i didn't forget anyone here <33

#thank you soo much for this it was SO fun <33 #AND I STILL HAVE YOUR OTHER ASK IN MY INBOX #it's such a fun one i wanna get to it soon!!!#i'm just so slow to reply omg it's insane #but it was such a fun ask i'll get to it Right Now actually it's gonna be fun to think about <33

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hopenobodyeverfindsthis · 1 year

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My Top Ten Books of 2022

I read more than 100 books last year, and I thought it would be a useful exercise to list my top 10 favorites that I read for the first time if only so I can reflect a little and gush about my passion for books. This is in the order I read the books; most of these books are so different it would be really hard to put in any real order (warning: it’s an eclectic list):

1. She Who Became the Sun by Shelley Parker Chan: This was the first book I read in January of last year. It’s set in the 1300s in China; I remember it being advertised as similar to Mulan, which doesn’t really do the story justice, other than that the main character is born a girl, but lives as a man and becomes a military general. It was so much more than a Mulan adaptation; and it is quite dark. In particular, I loved the dynamic between the two main characters: they are on different sides of the war, but two sides of the same coin; they both don’t quite fit into society’s expectations of gender.

2. Transcendent Kingdom by Yaa Gyasi: Gyasi is probably my favorite author I discovered this year; both Transcendent Kingdom and her other novel, Homegoing, are absolutely amazing and I cannot recommend either enough. Transcendent Kingdom is about a neuroscientist who is also the child of African immigrants who is studying the science of addiction. The story reflects on how her family has been impacted by addiction and the immigrant experience. The prose is absolutely beautiful and I haven’t been able to stop thinking about this story since I finished it.

3. Parable of the Sower by Octavia Butler: I cannot believe I waited until last year to read Butler; her writing is as impressive as I’m sure you’ve already heard. There’s not much I can say about Parable of the Sower that hasn’t been said a million times (all deserved), but I will say that I usually hate dystopias, even vaunted ones such as 1984 and a Brave New World. I read Parable of Sower fully expecting to hate it as well, and left simply blown away (and somehow even oddly optimistic about the future of humanity.)

4. The Night Watchman by Louise Erdrich: This is the third book I’ve read of Erdrich’s and my favorite, though I’ve loved everything she’s written. This story is based on the real life story of the author’s grandfather. The story involves several characters living in reservation in North Dakota and their fight to lobby for their rights land and their identity.

5. Heated Rivalry by Rachel Reid: Look, I’m not going to try to justify this; I just love hockey and I love rivals to lovers and I love hockey romances and this one is the creme de le creme; it was written specifically for me.

6. The Locked Tomb Series by Tasmyn Muir: I read several fantasy series last year, and I liked plenty of them, but the Locked Tomb is the one I can’t stop thinking about. The characters are all super weird and unhinged and awful and I adore them all. Their relationship dynamics are problematic and toxic and ridiculous and juicy. I cannot succinctly describe the plot in any way that would make sense. I cannot wait for the final book.

7. Young Mungo by Douglass Stewart: This book gutted me; I rarely cry while reading books and I had to put this down so I could lie in a ball. It’s a coming of age novel about a young queer boy coming to terms with his identity in set in Glasgow in I think the 1990s. If you choose to read this book, please look up the content warnings, it is not in any way an easy read, but it did have a surprisingly hopeful ending, even if I was crying.

8. The Falling in Love Montage by Ciara Smyth: This is another surprising addition to the list; I am no longer really the target audience for YA, and I had pretty much sworn off YA romance after disliking a few others. But, I decided to pick this up on a whim and I’m so glad I did. It is a very sweet wlw romance and coming of age story, but what really stuck out to me was the main character’s struggles with her mother’s early onset Alzheimer’s and how that affects her life. I read plenty of very good wlw romance (Deliliah Green Doesn’t Care and a Restless Truth are two more I’d highly recommend) but this one stood out.

9. The Narrative of the Life of Frederic Douglass, American Slave by Frederic Douglass: I have read a good number of historical fiction novels which show the horrors of slavery, but while many of those are very very good, I didn’t really realize the extent to which none can really compare to reading a first hand account of the experience until reading Douglass’s work. Like everyone, I learned about Frederic Douglass’s life, but sadly was never required to read anything he wrote in school. He is an amazing writer and storyteller and a truly remarkable person. Everyone should read this book at least once.

10. Frankenstein by Mary Shelley: I had read part of this book in high school, but never actually sat down and read the whole thing. I’m not usually a fan of horror, and I was worried it wouldn’t be my thing. However, I shouldn’t have put this off so long. Mary Shelley truly is the mother of science fiction and Frankenstein is an unforgettable experience.

#books #anyway i know this is a dead blog #this is mostly for me #but if anyone sees this and wants to gush about books or book recs i would be happy

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alexandriteobscuraarchive · 1 year

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🍓;3

mutuals send me a 🍓 and ill compliment u!

((Blair Blair Blair Blair...!! I sing your praises all of the damn time and I'LL DO IT AGAIN. I'LL DO IT RIGHT NOW, BITCH. Present unto me your arm so that I may lovingly gnaw it off~

Okay for real now; how can I even begin to tell you how much you mean to me without going on for pages and pages???? You're legit one of the best rp partners and friends I've ever had and this blog wouldn't exist without you.

Our interactions are a constant source of inspiration for me; so much so that there's never any room for doubt whenever I'm replying to our things, writing you a starter, etc, simply because I trust you and our bond so explicitly. The anxiety that so often plagues me when writing for others just doesn't exist with you (which is really saying something given how much of a fuck my brain can be, especially in regards to writing) and I cannot even being to describe to you the relief that said knowledge brings me but I'll try, if only a little.

No matter what we always do our best for each other and I never have to worry about any of it. I never feel like I have to ask you if you like something---and if I do it's only ever out of extreme enthusiasm and I want to hear you reaction, thoughts, blah blah, Right Then---because we're just so....in sync with each other. I never feel like you're going to hate something I've written for you or that you'd want a rewrite (which, obviously if that ever comes up you know I'd do it for you in a heartbeat! I'm just talking about intuition and such here, I'm sure you understand) and I cannot begin to describe to you how....freeing that is. Our interactions inspire nothing but unhinged creative freedom and I wouldn't trade that for anything.

I love you so fuckin much it's unreal. I love the impact you've had on my life. I love the impact your muse has had on mine and I can't wait to create more things with you. (You better be prepared to fuckin love a certain bird man, I swear to god---) You've been an unwavering and irreplaceable source of joy and support in my life and my only regret is that I didn't meet you sooner.))

#magioffire #;;ask response: ooc #legitimately the only other person I'm close to in this way is Gab/guardianofyesod;#to say that the two of you are special to me doesn't even begin to cover how I feel about you guys

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meatriarchived · 4 months

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[boss music plays as a hp bar appears above my head] hi renee (: i just wanted to say i'm super thankful that i met you this year, and that we literally hit it off and have been vibing ever since. you're such a chill person to hang out with, and i am thankful to have unlocked the frienship dlc with you where we're silly goofy in video games.

i'm sorry but also never sorry for when we start goin back and forth doing critical psychic damage to each other with our unhinged aus and offshoot narratives. you have such a talent and range, and all the muses you have written are ones that feel truly built from the ground up by you. and like, they really are!! i love watching you take a character with little to no lore, and specifically ms maria wronged-by-the-narrative flores, and how you give them the love and care that their creators never will frankly-- danny-alejo osorio > danny gaines every day, mama luda our mom, thomas im scared of you. birdie ur humour and final girl swag. even when hoyt jumpscares us all and dunks on my son im like damn i respect that renee you were so brave and wrote that demon. and ofc maria written as the heart of the narrative doomed or not.

i love building dynamics with you, i love peeking into your creative mind through all your metas, you legit have a garden growing in ur brain. i love that you're willing to get on the insanity level w me w our sad little meowmeows and weave together a story that hurts my feelings every time. i love reading your horror especially, explorations of trauma and the difficult nuances behind it. it inspires me to get a little braver with it and i'm constantly trying to pick up things from your writing! you are funny and kind and a creative powerhouse and i am often simply like damn renee's mind for this…. u know?

anyway all this 2 say ily and i'm glad we're pals, and i hope the new year is kind to you <3!!!

didya enjoy the uno reverse i gave ya for this kels :)) hows that hp bar of yours huh?- FBNJk

you already got all my sappiness in my message to you but do know i so appreciate everything that you said here and in the lil response to the ask as well <3 truly means the world to me how much you guys enjoy where ive been taking my lil texas band of misfits esp with how little they have to go on so most of its my own unhinged nonsense and also just. my writing and characterizations and all of that. esp coming from my hiatus and truthfully feeling rather down and unimpressed with my own writing - knowing you guys not only enjoy it but even pull any little bits of inspiration at all from it warms my heart like you wouldnt believe. so infinitely thank you for that <3

im keeping this saved on here as my last lil posts before this blogs officially archived <3 ilu and thank you again and cannot wait for more of our texas nonsense this year!!! :))

KISSES TO THE SKY TO YOU & OUR FAVORITE JOCK <3

#[ 𝐎𝐎𝐂 ] ── * 𝐏𝐇𝐎𝐓𝐎 𝐀𝐋𝐁𝐔𝐌. { saved. }

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comradekatara · 2 years

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wait I was reading ur tags on that one ask and I'm now curious about the thoughts u have on Katara/Azula's juicy dynamics I just love reading what u have to say on characters

ugh yes their role as narrative foils is so interesting I’m OBSESSEDDD D with them!!!! like I’ve always lowkey shipped them, not in a “this would realistically work” way (as if. lmfao) but more in a “I unequivocally support unhinged teenage girls fighting to the death” way.. the inherent homoeroticism of being prodigies with a burning drive to prove themselves, of glowing blue fire vs glowing blue water, that rage and unyielding relentlessness that makes their fight scenes so mesmerizing, the palpable electric chemistry of these two young girls with the burden of their entire people resting on their shoulders, who are just teenage girls, who are so much more than that. who just want to see their mothers again.

obviously every configuration of dynamics among the water tribe vs fire nation siblings has its own set of parallels and own fascinating dynamic born from those narrative patterns (I could even make a whole venn diagram cataloging those parallels, but it’s an unwieldy undertaking because there are simply so many parallels) but I do especially love the katara azula dynamic for a number of reasons. 1) the final fight scene between them in “sozin’s comet” is one of the most satisfying scenes ever put to screen 2) as a kid I had massive crushes on both of them and I do need to just get that out of the way & admit that but also 3) I love messy complicated fucked up teenage girls and I love girls who are cool & powerful & terrifying and I love prodigies who break under the weight of their own perfection and I love girls who own their rage & stoke it as an inner fire. I just have such a deep appreciation and fondness for three-dimensional teenage girl characters and katara and azula are simply two of the best teenage girls ever written!

so yeah even if I do think that ultimately, as a ship in a straightforward sense they are fundamentally untenable because it would require an altering of katara’s character to the point of obscuring her entirely, I also do recognize the inherent homoeroticism of narrative foils who cannot fucking stand each other!! what if we fought to the death..... and we were both girls 😳👉👈

#lttleghost #asks #azulaxkatara #azula&katara #I can’t remember what my tag for them is lmao #sorry for being a lesbian. / some crimes can never be forgiven #tbh they’re in the ides of march cinematic universe #the two most powerful girls in the eighth grade!!!!

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honestlyfragile · 3 years

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We Meet Again - d.s.c oneshot

This was a little too long to be a drabble, but let’s be sad together

Pairing: Winwin!Fem reader

Angst, exes, mention of alcohol and cigarettes

wc: 1.5k

This was it. The night you've looked forward to but at the same time, dreaded like hell. When your friend asked you, "Would it be okay if I invited him?" who were you to say no? Just because he was your ex? You were better than that. So you convinced yourself it would be fine, 3 years was long enough right?

You've played this in your head over and over, but things like this never go as planned. When the night of your friend's birthday party came, you dressed to impress. Who? None other than your ex. Pathetic.

But who cares if you did? They wouldn't know that you've been dying to look your best for Sicheng.

When the night of your friend's party came, you made sure that you were early enough to arrive first while tagging another friend along. The first thing you did was scan the venue for any signs of him—none.

And you exhale as much as you could. It wasn't long until he finally arrived, with Ten, Xiaojun and Yangyang whom you also haven't seen in a long time. But you pretend to not bat an eyelash at their presence, you had to convince everyone in this place that you were unfazed and unbothered.

But of course there was always that one person that could read you like an open book. "You okay?" your friend asks and you crumble inside.

"I wanna step out for a bit," You say, trying to defeat this billowing feeling in your chest that grew by the minute.

"Do you want me to come with you?"

"I'm good on my own." Sure you were. Until you realized you had to pass the table he was assigned to on your way out. But it would be too embarrassing to turn back. You held onto your clutch and looked towards the exit and that direction only. The clicking sound of your heels against the tiled floor giving you a tad bit of confidence.

You saw it, you saw him. From your peripheral vision, you knew that the moment you passed by, he reached for his phone and pretended to be occupied with something.

When you were finally out to gather some fresh air, you took time to appreciate how clear this night was. You take a cigarette out of your bag and pop the tip into your mouth, and search for your lighter in your purse. But before you could even do so, your mouth was left agape because of the absence of the cigarette stick.

"You only do this when you're stressed," He says, delicately holding it in between his pretty fingers.

You cross your arms, "It's none of your business." And snatch it back from Sicheng. Who does he think he is?

But god damn if you didn't think that he looked absolutely stunning—more than ever. Until you remind yourself that you absolutely do not have anything to do with him anymore.

You walk further away and look for a spot where he wouldn't bother you and finally lit your cigarette; your puffs heavy and aggressive. When you were done, you drop it on the floor and stomp the burning tip with your heels.

You walk back to the venue feeling unhinged by his presence, it was harder than you thought.

"Too early to be grabbing some drinks hm?" Ten playfully says while appearing at your side.

"Oh my god! It's been so long." You give him a hug and kiss his cheek. You've always stayed in good terms with his friends, especially Ten. You couldn't deny the fact that you missed them a ton.

He flashes you the brightest smile, "I know." He says, contemplating whether to ask you about Sicheng or not. "Have you..." he trails off.

"Have I..." you mimic him.

"Have you spoke to him?"

You chuckle, "Nah." You leave the encounter awhile ago out of the conversation.

Ten simply nods, not wanting to make it awkward and proceeds to ask how you've been, you tell him that you were fine and just always the same girl he knew. He was happy to hear that.

And when the universe cannot hold your encounters with Sicheng off any longer, you decided to let it be. You can't avoid him forever.

When yours and his table merge, he takes notes of the names of the people that he met tonight and recites them out loud, but leaves you out of it. You pout and playfully said, "What about me?" like you were out of your mind.

He chuckles, amused. "How could I ever forget you." He says and the crowd roars. Of course they knew your past.

You shake your head and take another shot of whatever drink you picked out from the selection at the bar and continued to try and belong to this circle.

"How have you been?" He asks, completely sober. Good for him.

"I've been alright. You?"

"Same." And left it at that. When you couldn't stand it any longer you left his side and took more shots for the sake of enjoying this night, giving your friend quite a hard time getting a hold of you.

And when you knew you've had enough, you sit at the empty table because most of the people have left the venue already; it was getting late.

To your surprise he also pulls out a chair and sits right in front of you, trying to take in your drunk and pathetic figure. Or if that's what you'd like to think.

"Are you okay?" He asks, brushing off the hair that had managed to clump in front of your face because of the sweat that consuming alcohol gave you.

You could cry right now, you felt so damn vulnerable that if you looked straight into his eyes, you would simply just lose everything it took you to be here. "I'm alright" You say, looking at every direction possible but his.

"How are you?"

You chortle, "You asked me that a while ago. I told you I'm good."

He purses his lips in disbelief, "I'm asking you for real."

"What do you want to hear from me Sicheng? That I've been an absolute mess without you?" Fuck. You did not just say that.

"No," He clenches his jaw. You might have gone a little too far. "You haven't changed." he says disdainfully.

"So have you." You shrug, having absolutely no control over your thoughts and words to even formulate proper sentences.

But despite everything he still manages to say, "You look beautiful."

To hell, if you could cry right now. Why the hell did he make it so hard for you, even when you weren't together anymore. "You don't look bad yourself," you retort, not knowing what to say at this point.

He asks you about how your mom was doing since they used to be close when you guys still dated, she even thought that you'd end up with him for good. She was devastated when she found out you broke up. You say that she's doing fine, but never really accepted the fact that you weren't going to get back together anymore.

He didn't know how to respond to that. Because he felt the same. He hated the idea of you not getting back together anymore.

“But are you?”

“Am I what?”

You waited for him to respond, “Have you been a mess without me? Because sure as hell I have been without you.”

There was a long silence. He’s unbelievable. You thought. He thinks he could just sway you with his words again, 3 years later you were back to square one. You couldn’t let him get his way again.

Finally, you say, “No. I was asking if that’s what you wanted to hear,” you pause and gather all your courage to ask this question ever since you found out from a friend. It had been bothering you for 3 years. “Did you really cheat on me?”

He takes a deep breath, and answers, “No. She was a friend. A friend I was leaning onto when we were falling apart. We never became an item.”

You laugh bitterly, not being able to help the escape of your tears. “Right.” was all you could say.

Your friend saves you from the awkwardness, “___ it’s time to go” She says from afar and you gather your strength to get up from your seat, but you trembled. He held your arm to keep you still.

You didn’t know if you should shake his hand, wave goodbye or just walk away. But before you could even decide, he had already engulfed you into a hug. Your head on his chest, staining his white button-down with your tears as his hand lightly pressed your head onto him. His scent was still so familiar to you, his hands still as gentle and delicate when it came to you.

You couldn’t take this anymore, you had to break away. You couldn’t throw away the 3 years you spent on yourself to get better. You swallow, “I have to go.” And didn’t wait for his response.

“Take care.” You faintly hear him say from a distance, you didn’t look back.

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greensaplinggrace · 3 years

Text

What Is There To Celebrate About the Darkling? (Part 4)

1 2 3 4

He’s calculating but impulsive. Gentle yet firm. Stubborn and adaptive. Just a real mess of contradictions that makes him all the more interesting.

He loves nature. He loves the forest.

Fond of luxuries and nice things. After growing up as he did, I think he deserves them.

Very socially awkward. Introvert just trying his best. Anything that isn’t manipulation and therefore something he’s planned in his head is just a social train wreck waiting to happen.

The way he pushes up Alina’s sleeve when they first meet. This man had zero compunctions about acting completely unprofessionally in front of his soldiers and I think that’s very sexy of him.

He’s constantly tired and exasperated with the people around him.

The way he says “quiet” with the softest voice imaginable and a room full of laughter instantly goes silent.

He had no interest in Elizaveta even though she was utterly obsessed with him and I think that’s hilarious.

Elizaveta: I have a plan to resurrect the Darkling Everybody Else: Oh the Darkling is so evil for trying to come back! The Darkling, who just wants a nap and is sick of this mortal bullshit: Why am I even here? This is such a pain in the ass. I should have killed Elizaveta when I had the chance.

How he asks if Alina “will have” his name like a man proposing.

Has his bedroom attached to the war room.

Constantly checking up on Alina just to know how she’s doing. Never pushing her beyond her limits as she’s training.

Very creative with his shadows and the extent of their abilities. So many of the ways he uses his powers are genius.

His ending in RoW is a tragedy and an injustice. He deserves better.

This old man pouting at Alina in episode seven as he says “please, I just want to talk to you 🥺”

There is a black kefta made for Alina after like two days in the Little Palace. He really was already planning their entire immortal futures together as Mr. and Mrs. Starkov wasn’t he?

His bed is covered in maps and notes when he’s plotting how to find Alina. Also before that, the way he’s poring over the notes at his desk and giving orders is 👌🥵

Him acting like a real General at all is simply amazing.

The fact that he trusts Luda with his life. That they have a whole intimidation routine set up around him purposefully getting himself fatally injured knowing she’ll heal him.

He looks like a vampire in the show and a fae in the books.

His favorite ABBA song is probably “Lay All Your Love On Me.”

Looks composed but that’s only a façade. Is actually an unhinged feral terror of pain and misery.

That scene where he tells the king she will remain in the Little Palace to train undisturbed and he puts his foot down. ON THE RED CARPET. the king’s carpet. and uses a commanding voice that’s just on the edge of an order…I’m surprised he didn’t get flogged for that. IMO nothing conveys the fine line he walks with those in power while wielding his own like this scene. Literally he should just be celebrated for this alone.

“‘Why won’t you leave me alone?’ I whispered one night as he hovered behind me while I tried to work at my desk. Long minutes passed. I didn’t think he would answer. I even had time to hope he might have gone, until I felt his hand on my shoulder. “Then I’d be alone, too,” he said, and he stayed the whole night through, till the lamps burned down to nothing.

Trapped a bunch of Saints in the Shadow Fold like a true amoral disaster villain. What an icon.

His barely concealed amusement and half hidden smile when Alina comes to put his kefta on. The way he finds Alina utterly hilarious and tries so hard to act like he doesn’t.

That small amused smile when Alina jokes about finding Volcra hilarious. Please he’s so adorable 😭

“‘I know what you feel when you’re with the tracker,’ he said. ‘I doubt that’ He gave a dismissive wave.” - My Malarklina obsessed self, vibrating at the edge of my seat: but what does it mean?!?

Mal and the Darkling’s entire fight in the Fold: dumbass on dumbass violence.

The way he stands with his back turned to Alina when she enters his tent the first time they meet and then does the slowest Godfather turn in history. 1999/10 - points removed for a criminal lack of cat petting.

“I may lead the second army, but the king is still the king.” - the delivery of that line. the implications, the history behind it and also the foreshadowing for his plans.

That slow turn face reveal in episode one though. Like okay we get it you’re pretty alkjsdflkj

Confused Old Man Face™ whenever Mal or Alina do anything remotely defiant in his presence.

How he tells Alina to come closer and she only takes the tiniest step and he doesn’t even react.

His little head cock whenever someone says or does something that just doesn’t vibe with him.

Darklina tumblr has now convinced me that the Darkling is a cat in human form.

“You’re an amplifier,” she said. He glanced at where Sylvi was pouncing on another helpless tree, oblivious, and gave a single, frightened nod. How could he have been so stupid? He would have to tell his mother now, and she would insist that they leave right away. If word got out, they’d both be in danger. Amplifiers were rare, hard to find, harder to hunt. Their lives would be forfeit. Even if they got away, word would spread. He could already hear his mother’s voice: Foolish, careless, callous. If you don’t value your own life, show some concern for mine. Annika touched his sleeve. “It’s okay,” she said. “I won’t tell.” Panic crowded in. He shook his head. She slid her hand into his. It was hard not to pull away. He should. He was breaking his mother’s fundamental rule for keeping them both alive. Never let them touch you, she’d warned him. - 😥 I just want to give him a hug all the time.

His strangled shout when Mal tackles him off of the skiff.

His smile when he’s summoning the sun. The expression on his face when he does so. Like I know I’ve mentioned this before but damn. If you ever needed a reason to celebrate him, this would be it.

“Shame, I’ll have to give that speech again now.”

The way he flips Mal over his shoulder in the Fold after Mal attempts to strangle him.

His little lecture on the Small Science to Alina when they’re going to meet the King. Info dump.

“You make it sound so easy.” “A bird makes flight look easy. But it was born to do so.”

When Alina looks at him for guidance on whether or not to remove her veil and he gives her a small nod.

The handhold in the throne room after Alina’s demonstration is absolutely precious, but it’s in a room full of people he should be keeping up a façade for and it’s so unwarranted and yet he does it anyway, I’m-

The way he says “welcome home, Ms. Starkov,” in the most tender voice I’ve ever heard and then goes “ok that’s enough emotions for one day” and then just straight up leaves without even a goodbye.

He has his symbol?? Sewn into Alina’s kefta??? bRo???!?!

Disaster Simp never gets tired of introducing Alina to other people or talking about how she’s the best thing that ever walked this earth.

The Darkling lying: honestly

“I have devoted my life to undoing the great sin of my forebearer, but I am never seen as the solution. Only as a reminder of the problem.” Sasha you were literally the problem. What a manipulative little shit. We love to see it.

The way he closes his eyes and kisses the coin before he makes a wish at the wishing well.

“I think the Grand Palace is the ugliest building I’ve ever seen.” - I love him your honor.

This man has the most intense lines for Alina. Like straight up I would have booked it when he said “you and I are going to change the world”. But then the head grab?! “I’ve been waiting a long time for you.” He’s so intense like sir can you tone it down a bit please I am begging you.

“I shall be right by your side.” / “We can do anything. Together.” / “For us.” / “You cannot do this on your own. And neither can I” / “I want you to know my name. The name I was given, not the title I took for myself. Will you have it, Alina?” - WEDDING VOWS

That scene in the war room when Alina comes to find him and he instantly drops his guard and lowers his arms and welcomes her with a soft voice.

“Am I bothering you?” “Not at all.” - girl you could be stabbing him in the chest and you still wouldn’t be bothering him.

This whipped disaster sounds like the proudest man on the planet when he talks about how much more his enemies fear Alina over him.

His shadows react to his emotions.

“YoUr’E nOt IvAn.” asjlkdfjs god he’s so embarrassing.

Local Dark Lord Sasha offering Alina the throne after she literally tries to kill him.

He gets so jealous of Mal.

Has a great relationship with his soldiers and his men. His men trust him implicitly and believe him to be an amazing general.

When he turns around after Alina puts the kefta on him and looks flustered/has to take a breath because she’s a lot closer than he expected. The way he’s breathless and literally can’t string a sentence together because he’s so distracted by her closeness.

His jokes are absolutely terrible.

GF: *jokes about throwing herself down the stairs to get out of an event* Sasha “no thoughts head empty only Alina” Morozova: haha I’d just have my healers heal you right back up again.

How genuinely touched he is by Alina admitting to wanting to help Grisha and Ravkans.

That scene in Demon in the Woods when he notices the intricate details of the politics in the Grisha camp after one meeting with the Elders. He has the Ulle pegged almost instantly.

Born to be a leader. Born to take care of others. Born to protect. Even in Demon in the Woods he’s protecting people. Even in Demon in the Woods he’s leading them and caring for them.

The way he cups his hands around Alina’s face when they’re kissing.

This man gets so starstruck by Alina walking into the Fete that he doesn’t even excuse himself from the King’s side to go to her.

Long haired Aleksander rights!

Ok I know the wig was kind of ugly but he looks pretty with long hair and I think it would look very good on him naturally.

The way he slams his hands together in the Winter Fete scene and instantly turns the room pitch black.

Literally any times he summons shadows is a blessing and we should all celebrate him for it. They are so beautiful. On god if I ever saw his shadows in real life I would be awestruck.

He asks Mal if he’s okay when they first meet.

The pure, barely contained fury directed at the Conductor for daring to harm Alina and kidnap his Grisha.

He always has to make a grand entrance.

This man is like a bloodhound when it comes to Nina. He is very invested in finding her and I feel like that’s never really talked about.

“I know exactly how she felt. The King’s soldiers treated me the same way. Because they knew- they knew that I was more important than any of them.” - the way he says it, like it’s something he has to remind himself of in his head constantly. a justification for the way he’s been treated, the fear he evokes in others. a way to protect himself from the hurt of being ostracized and reviled. arrogance and conceit as a defense against emotional harm.

Also the way his face instantly changes after that, like he’s said too much. vulnerability. lowering his eyes. shifting his eyes. literally just everything about this scene makes me love him all the more.

Dark carriage rides up to the Crows’ hiding place. Grisha circle the area as Aleksander steps from the carriage slowly, dressed all in black, floofy cloak high on his shoulders. Villain Entrance™

Him slowly pulling a knife out of his chest like it shouldn’t have killed him is hot as fuck and also totally badass. Big dick energy.

“I’ve had enough of your lies.” “And what lies are those?” - Alina, pulling out a fifty mile long scroll of grievances: Well, for starters-

This man is literally just an Alina Starkov compliments machine.

He cares so much about the Grisha and their protection. He loves Ravka and his people so much.

He had an entire cult dedicated to him.

“They would approach him. They always did. But he felt more anxious than usual. He’d stopped trying to make friends in the places he and his mother visited—there was no point when they moved on so quickly. Now he wasn’t quite sure how to go about it.”

Save a Villain. Murder the King.

Openly admits to staging a coup like it’s the most natural thing in the world.

He speaks so slowly. He moves so slowly. Everything he does has to have Purpose and Gravitas.

Theater Nerd™

He knew Nikolai for years and yet couldn’t recognize him as Sturmhond. We do stan an oblivious icon 💕

The Darkling after he gets his ass whooped in Siege and Storm: Mom can you please come pick me up? I’m scared!

He’s here to manipulate sun summoners and murder cities. And unfortunately he’s all out of sun summoners.

Would absolutely get drunk on real alcohol. This man thinks kvas is strong liquor.

Has his wrists exposed exactly one time in the most skin he’s shown all season and it’s when Alina visits him at night in the war room. WHORE!

Was too emotionally slutty and fell for Alina. RIP.

He’s passionate and cold and beautiful and hurt and twisted up in ways nobody could ever hope to understand and he’s stunning.

I would literally kill for this man 🖤✨

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insanityclause · 3 years

Note

Can I ask why mlm shippers always seek validation for their fictional ship also in the real life people who play the characters?

This is difficult to unpack but it goes back to that most shippers are women and there's this subset of them that cannot handle another woman (fictional or in reality) in proximity to their fave.

In their actual fantasies, they picture themselves with, in this case, Tom/Loki. Any woman near him endangers the fantasy so they pour all their shipper energy into Lokius and I guess Towen because that's not a threat. They also actively try to discredit any connections he may have with women actually in his life. Is that crazy, unhinged, senseless and disturbing? Yup. But it is what it is.

(Anon 2) Because those Lokius shippers simply fetishise two white men. It's not even about characters in the show, evident in the fact they use the characters and their actors interchangeably. They ship simply because they feel attracted to an older white man which they won't admit because it's uncool and they have been shaming other people for doing it. They frame their shipping/attraction as a pursuit of social justice which makes them feel morally superior and quirky.

(Anon 3) (Not excusing any harassment here.) Loki has a lot of LGBT fans and I think desperation for representation unfortunately drives some of them to see evidence of a m/m ship that isn't there. Loki officially being bisexual is a big step, but the usual m/f pairing happened. Not any less bisexual, but the predictable safe route. Seeing support for Sylki likely feels threatening because if the writers, actors, and majority of fans want Sylki, then the chances of a m/m Loki ship happening feel lost.

(Anon 4) Some people really want to see Sophia as the big bad villain of the series, right? No, wait... I meant Sylvie... or maybe I really wanted to say Sophia... no, it was Sylvie! ...or maybe both? No, seriously, the fact is that they can't really separate the actor from the character, especially in their fan-canon, that's why they seek validation and project on them a lot

Multiple responses to the shipping anon's question...

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albatris · 3 years

Text

@polyacery

:D!! yes!! ok!! yes!! please forgive the much-much-much-lengthier-than-intended ramble sorry thank you love you <3

first off, two facts about Noa and Kai:

they care about each other a lot

they cannot fucking STAND each other 90% of the time

they struggle a lot when it comes to teamwork, their personalities don't mesh well under pressure and their approaches to problem-solving differ wildly, so they often end up getting on each other’s nerves and being quite tense when they have to work together :P nothing, like, dramatic though, and nothing that escalates beyond general bickering and annoyance

that being said, on a personal and social level they do view each other as close friends and (can) get along well, though you’d be hard-pressed to get either of them to admit it. they share a lot of similarities (some of which I’ll go into) and both value the other as someone they can be open and honest with and drop their guard around, which is sayin somethin ‘cause openness and honesty are notoriously difficult for both of them lmao

in general I would say hmmmm

Noa views Kai (fondly) as a bastard and a swindler and possibly the most infuriating person she’s ever met, an opinion which does not change even as she grows to consider them a friend. like, genuinely? she fuckin hates their guts. and their ridiculously charming smile. and the way they can sweet talk their way into or out of any situation. she’s a little bitter about the way people just seem to hand over whatever Kai wants just ‘cause they’re a smooth-talker and good at pulling strings, ‘cause that level of uhhhhh sneaky interpersonal finesse is not something she’s ever really been able to access and it strikes her as cheating ahaha

that being said, though she finds their personality grating and their face punchable, they’re a person who cares intensely about people, not in an abstract theoretical all-talk-no-action kind of way, but in a concrete, physical, motivated “hey let me help you with that right now” kind of way, which Noa will never have any beef with. too many people sit around talking about what it means to do the right thing. not enough people get out there in a van full of interdimensional crime and pull off elaborate heists for the greater good

Kai has a similar take on Noa in that regard, as in, like. she’s kind of hardcore, yes. but. there are too many people sitting around talking about what it means to do the right thing, not enough people getting rightfully fucking unhinged and charging headfirst into injustice and cruelty and punching the shit out of it. her methods are a little too impulsive and headstrong for Kai’s tastes but it works for her n they’re cheering from the sidelines lol

but ye, Kai views Noa as. hm. a very very very intense person who is a lot of fun to mess with. pretty much as soon as Kai realises Noa isn’t going to be a threat in any capacity they’re like “sick now I have free reign to be the most annoying person in the universe” and they absolutely follow through. they find her passion and intensity amusing but admirable, and they were sold on the fact that she’s a good, kind person no matter her prickly exterior the second they saw how much she adores her mum c:

so, arguably, half of the next part is just,,,, me elaborating to an excessive extent,,,,, but this info used to be at the start of the ramble so I’d already written it before being like “hey wait a minute” so to hell with it I’m including it anyway

these two don’t get a lot of screentime together till the second half of the book and they have a pretty rocky start imo

like, Noa’s first impressions of Kai on two separate occasions are “that bastard who robbed me while I was on the clock” and “that random weirdo who somehow charmed my best friend into thinking they’re cool even though they sound like the shadiest motherfucker on the entire planet and I’m pretty sure they’re a serial killer”, which then culminate into “oh shit these are in fact the same person and they’re definitely bad news”

Kai never dislikes Noa the same way Noa dislikes them, but they are wary of her and have a healthy degree of fear regarding the threat she could pose to them.......... Kai and Noa’s different career choices put them at odds with each other right off the bat, what with Noa working for the Department of Interdimensional Instabilities and Kai operating a significantly less legal business that’s essentially the antithesis of the DII

plus Noa in general has a reputation for being Kind Of Fucking Terrifying

initially I would say they both view the other as “potentially a legitimate threat” and “not to be underestimated”, but post-mid-story-heist they get to spend some proper time together and form more grounded opinions of each other :P though arguably still for a considerable while the only reason they put up with each other is because Tris is like “:D” at them both and they’re like........ aw no I don’t wanna make him sad

Kai warms to Noa a lot faster than Noa warms to Kai, ‘cause Kai warms to most people pretty quick provided they’re not literal axe murderers. Noa starts to warm to Kai only after careful observation and assessment leads her to conclude the following two facts with reasonable certainty:

Kai does appear to be in possession of a solid moral compass

Kai has no ill intent towards Tris whatsoever

which tips the scale in their favour enough for her to be like “okay fine”

there's a level of distance and awkwardness between them for ages 'cause like, yeah, they're friends they guess but not like, friends-friends, there just seems to be something that's not clicking, n the main reason for that is just like

(handshake meme)

a deep-seated terror of being emotionally open and vulnerable resulting in a pathological need to project a loud outgoing persona that masks every ounce of insecurity and fear and prevents anyone from getting close enough to Know You: Noa 🤝 Kai

as soon as THAT realisation clicks for both of them n they're like "oh shit you're just like me and I know exactly how you feel" it instils a sense of connection and camaraderie between them and solidifies a kinship based on Something rather than simply "mutual friends" and "sometimes we're in the same place"

n like, obviously the others Know about the whole. situation. with Kai’s backstory but Kai’s still pretty cagey about it emotionally speaking.... I’m pretty sure Noa is?? the only person they manage to completely drop their guard around over the course of the story? in terms of like.... having a genuine heart-to-heart about the emotions involved and the fear n guilt

and like. yeah. yeah. Noa hasn’t made a friend besides Tris in like ten years n she’s also notoriously cagey with her emotions and her being genuine and vulnerable is just....... not a thing that happens very often or very easily.... and even less through a lot of the story

idk man. they’ve just got good vibes together

they offer each other a Safe Place and a level of understanding that maybe the others don’t quite grasp. even though the others r still empathetic and care for them a lot n have equally important things they bring to the friendship. Noa and Kai just have a vibe yeah

even though they’d sell each other to satan for one corn chip

#I'M SO SORRY THIS IS SO LONG I'm mortified #djhgkdjfhgjdfsg #i'm incapable of being concise i know i say this all the time it truly is a problem for me lmao #i feel like any of the main four paired with each other is just going to be an absolute behemoth of a ramble i don't know if there was #any escaping this tbh lmao #anyway hello goodnight hope you're having a nice day #thx for letting me ramble ur the best #atdao

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anyarally · 3 years

Text

Sanders Sides Secret Santa Gift!

@sanderssidesgiftxchange

For: @authorgirl0131 Wish 1: Intruloceit Christmas fluff Wish 2: Sympathetic Deceit whump Wish 3: Logan and Deceit Christmas fluff Ao3 (it’s formatted better on there lol)

Janus, Logan, and Remus Have the Best Christmas Ever

Janus is upset after SvS Redux, so Remus and Logan try to help. Plus Christmas fluff!

We are ethically compromised if we give him a seat at the table

Snake

Liar

Rude

Spiteful

Jealous

Evil

Villain

The Light Sides’ words haunt Janus every night, only getting worse once Virgil leaves. The worst part is… he knows they’re not lying. Every insult, every implication, every rude remark, every single one was true. At least, to those who spoke them it was.

He sits alone in his room every night, Remus usually coming to check on him. Tonight, though, is special. Janus just fought with all the Lights, and told them his name! It was one thing when Remus did it, he’s crazy and unpredictable! When Janus does it… it’s serious.

Remus knocks aggressively on the ornate gold door, “Hey, ‘Anus?! You wanna hang out some? We could decapitate some of Roman’s dumb unicorns in the imagination, I sensed some trespassing earlier!”

Deceit startles on his bed, throwing back the covers (which he really shouldn’t be under this early in the evening) and mumbles just loud enough to hear, “Not tonight, Ree, I’m too tired.”

“Is it because of something they said again? I told them not to get to you, just because we’re different doesn’t mean we’re bad.”

“It doesn’t matter, Remus, just go take care of those unicorns. Maybe tomorrow we can hang out, ok?”

“Oh, um, ok. See you at dinner?”

“I don’t know if I’ll be up to it. Sorry.”

“Alright, let me know if you need anything?”

There was no response. Remus sighed, slumping away to his room.

This went on for weeks. Every day, Janus would come out for breakfast, unhinge his jaw and eat enough for the day, even though he used to eat the same as Remus(in moderation, he refuses to eat eyeballs and pubic hair). Eventually, after about two and a half weeks, Remus had had enough.

When Janus slouched into the kitchen for his daily meal, Remus slammed his hand on the table, “You are coming with me to the imagination!”

“No, Remus. I’m too tired.”

“Nope, nuh-uh, none of that ‘tired’ bullshit, you’ve said that every day for the last month!”

“Re-”

“Nope nope nope! Come with me!” Remus yelled, grabbing Janus’s arm with an unsurprisingly terrifying grin on his face.

Remus dragged Janus to the sickly stone mirror with green ooze globbing out that leads to the imagination, the snake complaining and protesting the whole way.

Once they got there though, none of the things that usually made him happy worked. When Remus had him attack Roman’s unicorns, he only said he didn’t want to make their relationship with the Light Sides even worse. They visited Janus’s giant golden two-headed snake, Eilonwy and Ethelinda, and Janus couldn’t even look her in the eyes(either set of them!). Remus even tried having him watch live musicals by sneaking into Roman’s side of the imagination, but it only reminded him of the movie nights everyone but the Dark Si- now, just Janus were invited too. Remus had stopped going, but still.

After the day spent trying to cheer Janus up in the imagination had no success, Remus decided to bring in the big guns.

The next day, Janus surprisingly didn’t get any visits from Remus. Just one text of a .gif that was weird as hell.

The day after that, however, Janus heard three precise knocks at his door, at precisely 9:00 am. He yelled out, “Remus! Just stop already! I’m fine!” The only response was another precise three knocks at his door at 9:01 am. He only grunted and curled into his heated blanket more, assuming it’s just another one of Remus’s dumb pranks.

After three knocks every minute on the minute for half an hour, Janus caved and opened the door, immediately protesting, “Remus, I swear to Thomas, I-” he stopped dead in his tracks when he looked up and saw who he was objecting to, “Logan?”

“Hello, De- Janus. Remus informed me he was concerned about you, so I have come to see,” Logan pulled out his notecards, “What is up?”

Janus chuckled, pulling the door open wider, “Okay Logan, you can come in.”

Janus puts his hat on as they walk inside, Logan looking around and noticing so much clutter. From what Remus had told him, Janus was a very organized person, almost obsessively so. Plus, the room wasn’t very warm at all, which cannot be good for someone cold-blooded.

When Logan comments on this, Janus simply brushes him off, saying he hasn’t had the time to clean up and his usual heaters would be a fire hazard with the mess.

They sit on some large extravagant armchairs in front of a fireplace, Logan favoring the black one with gold beading while Janus takes the deep yellow one with shiny black beading.

As they sit down, Janus lights the fire with a wave of his hand, trying (and failing) to subtly change his outfit into a clean one from his closet. Logan notices, but decides not to comment.

“So, what did Remus send you for again?”

“Well he didn’t exactly send me, per se, I reached out to him because I hadn’t seen you in a while, he said he would handle it, then he got me when that didn’t work.”

“Wait, really?”

“Yes, of course. I tried to bring it up to the other Light Sides, but they would not listen. Therefore, going to Remus, and consequently, you, was the best option.”

“Wow, uh, thanks, Logan, I really appreciate that. I assumed none of the Light Sides thought about how things would make us feel.”

“Granted, that is a fair assumption,” Logan quieted down, facing Janus’s bookshelves and silently reading the titles he has, mentally comparing it to books he’s read.

Janus wanted to question Logan about that, but decided to try and get to the point gradually instead, saying, “Logan,” said Side looked up at Janus, “I just want you to know that I’m sorry.”

This made Logan pause and think. After about fifteen painfully silent seconds for Janus, Logan started speaking again, “I apologize, but I do not understand. What are you sorry for exactly?”

“For, ya know, the last video.”

Logan stares at Janus.

Janus groans, “You’re really going to make me say it, huh? Okay, I’m sorry for taking your place earlier in the video.”

“Oh. Yes. That.” Logan stops, trying to formulate a response, “It is quite alright, Janus. While I was a bit hurt in the moment, I appreciate you figuratively beating some sense into the others.”

“Are you sure that you’re actually alright, though?”

“I… well, I do wish you had simply told me.” After Janus sends Logan a questioning look, Logan adds, “I know I would’ve been happy to step down and even let you disguise yourself as me, you didn’t need to knock me out. With those two, it’s very… difficult to get them to actually consider things, I know that first hand, so I entirely understand why disguising yourself as me was the most efficient way to get through to them.”

“Oh, I… I’m so sorry Logan, I hadn’t even considered that. I’m just used to expecting a no, I…”

“As stated before, it’s quite alright. Besides, I’m the one who should be apologizing.”

“What do you mean?”

Logan sighs, looking down at his shoes, “I should’ve spoken up sooner. About the Lights’ treatment of you, I mean. They were unnecessarily cruel to you, and I just stood by. I was… scared. I almost spoke up when Virgil hissed at you when you came to get your hat back from Roman, but I don’t know the whole story between you and Virgil, and I didn’t want to impose. Additionally, I…” Logan took a deep breath, doing a round of the 4, 7, 8 exercise Virgil taught them, “I was scared of being left out. I know I’ve said I don’t have feelings, but I was,” Logan chuckles, “deceitful, in that aspect.”

“Logan,” Janus seemed to be on the brink of tears of relief, “thank you so much. That means so much to me, I… hey, uh, would you want to come over for a movie night this Friday? I know movie nights with the Lights are on Saturdays, so…?”

“That sounds delightful,” Logan started to get up, “I will see you then. I apologize, but I must go. Thomas needs me at my best, I sense he’s about to start editing a new video.”

“No worries, Logan, I’ll see ya Friday.”

And so, Logan came over that Friday, and the Friday after that. After weeks of being holed up in his room, Janus started to come out more often, and Remus was very happy to see more of him. Logan started coming over every Friday, and as time went on, he even started coming over more often just to enjoy Remus and Janus’s company. Sometimes, he would visit Remus’s side of the imagination with them, other times, he would exchange books with Janus and discuss them, and eventually, he would even start inviting Janus and Remus over to view the constellations with him as he explained them and showed them the stars with his telescope.

This went on for months, and eventually, the Light Sides noticed. Whenever asked, though, Logan only stated he needed more time to himself. They laid off for a while, but eventually, it got a little suspicious, especially when they started hearing other voices coming from his room.

Finally, Patton decided to investigate. He heard the voices in Logan’s room while getting him for famILY dinner, and leaned up against the door before knocking.

“And here you’ll see MACS 2129-1, often referred to as the ‘Zombie Galaxy,” Logan happily explains.

“Oh fuck yes!” Remus yells, in turn causing a chuckle to emanate from Janus.

Logan chuckles as well, “Fuck yes indeed, Remus,” Patton gasps almost involuntarily but stays quiet enough so no one notices, “This massive, disk-shaped galaxy spins twice as fast as the Milky Way does, but it's still not nearly as active. Hubble observations of the distant galaxy reveal that it hasn't made stars for approximately 10 billion years. MACS 2129-1 is what's known as a ‘dead galaxy,’ since stars no longer form there. Scientists believed that galaxies of this sort had formed by merging with smaller galaxies over time, but MACS 2129-1's stars didn't form from these sorts of explosive mergers; they formed early on, in the disk of the original galaxy. The findings suggest that dead galaxies somehow internally rearrange their structure as they age rather than changing shape because they combine with other galaxies. I, er, I’m sorry I’m babbling, aren’t I?”

Janus shushes Logan, “No, Logan, we’ve been over this,” Janus gently places his hand on Logan’s slowly reddening cheek, “We love to hear you talk, especially about things that make you happy. Isn’t that right, Remus?”

“Hell yeah, Lo! I love hearing you get so excited about stuff, and I love learning about the stars with you, you’re a great teacher!”

By now, Patton had decided he didn’t want to intrude, he was proud of his kiddos. Logan, for reaching out and making more friends, and Janus and Remus for making Logan feel loved in a way that Patton just couldn’t seem to. He leaned back from the door and walked by, deciding to text Logan to let him know about dinner so he could come if he wanted but he didn’t have to cut his time with the Dark Sides short.

Meanwhile, Logan looked down at his phone and sighed.

“What is it, Lo-Lo?” Remus tilted his head so far to the left his head broke off.

As Remus smacked his head back in place, Logan sighed, “Patton says dinner’s about to start. I really should go.”

“You don’t have to, Logan, you know that right?”

“Yes, I’m aware but I haven’t gone all week and I’m concerned the Lights will think I’m not eating at all. I wouldn’t want Patton to get… upset.”

“Okay, okay, we all remember when Patton went all Hop Pop.”

Logan looked at both of them again with a small, but genuine, smile, dropping it as he sank down to the Light Side’s dining room.

Dinner was… awkward, to say the least.

Patton tried to break the ice, “So, Logan, you’ve been spending a lot of time in your room?”

There was a long, long pause.

“Apologies, I now realize that was a question. I assumed it was a statement. Yes, I have been spending a lot of time in my room.”

“May we ask why?” Roman sarcastically asked.

“I find that I’m more productive when I stay in my room.”

“Well, I’ve heard some other voices coming from your room…” Patton hesitantly added.

“What are you insinuating, Patton.” Logan harshly said, not asked, eyes harsh and cold.

“Well, I, uh-”

Virgil gently cut off Patton’s scrambling, “You know that we won’t be mad if you want to hang out with Remus and Janus, right?”

“Right!” Patton started, “We were actually talking about it some earlier, and we’d love to start having them over for famILY meals too!”

Logan raised an eyebrow, “Is Roman on board with this?”

Roman sighed, “I may have some issues with my brother, but a true prince wouldn’t stop other relationships from forming just because he didn’t like the other party. I know Remus, and he won’t hurt you,” he thought back to the shuriken, “well, not permanently at least.”

Logan smiled, the first genuine smile he had shown the Light Sides in months. “I can tell them.”

“Wait, Logan,” Logan looks back at Patton, “Christmas is this Friday, and well I can’t think of a better day to expand our famILY!”

Logan chuckled, “I’ll let them know,” he started to head back to his room but paused and turned to look back at the Lights, “Oh, and I’m staying with them on Christmas Eve. Apologies.”

“No problem, Logan! Thanks for letting us know!”

Once Logan got back to his room, he gave the Dark Sides the news. “Remus, Janus, I have some news.”

Remus popped up from where he was looking at his newest dagger under Logan’s covers, “Oooh? What is it, Wolverine?”

“Patton, and subsequently the other Light Sides, have invited you two and I to a famILY meal on Christmas,” Logan noticed how Janus and Remus’s eyes lit up but ignored it in favor of finishing his announcement, “I have informed them that I will be with you on Christmas Eve.”

Janus smiled, “That’s great! So, you told them about us?” Logan sat at his chess table with Janus, “Well, technically they guessed, but yes. They asked about me spending time in my room, then stated they did not disapprove of our… relationship, I suppose.”

Janus smiled, “That’s great, Lo.”

That Christmas Eve, the trio sat around the fireplace in the Dark Side’s living room. They cuddled together under a Big Hero 6 blanket while watching Die Hard, which they all of course agreed was the best Christmas movie. They had stayed up pretty late, and once the movie was over, Remus started excitedly jumping up and down, “It’s after midnight! It’s officially Christmas!”

Logan sleepily checked his watch, “You are correct, but I do not see how this is currently relevant?”

“Now I can give you guys my presents!”

Remus kept bouncing on the balls of his feet until Janus happily sighed, “Alright, what did you get us?”

Remus squealed, “I’ll show you!” while running to his room.

Janus and Logan chuckled together until Logan spoke up, “I, ahem, got you gifts as well. Would it be adequate for me to go get them?”

“Sure, I actually got some for you guys too. We’ll all go get them and meet back here.”

Logan smiled, nodded, and sank out.

When they all returned, they all had light blushes on their faces. “Who would like to go first? In handing out their presents, that is.” Logan awkwardly asked.

“I do!” Remus excitedly shouted. Logan and Janus were very much not surprised, and they all sat down on the carpet in front of the couch.

Once they were seated, Remus yeeted the presents at their recipients, both of which catching their present with ‘oof’s.

Janus ripped his open to reveal a long black cape with golden lining. He was about to start thanking Remus for the warm fabric when the clasp on it caught his eye. He looked closer, seeing a beautiful silver clasp depicting a snake and eight tentacles wrapping around a unicorn. Not trapping it, it felt more like… hugging. Protecting. He flipped it over to see an engraving, ‘J.L.R.’ “Thank you, Remus! I especially like the clasp, and the warmth and style are both surprisingly practical!”

Logan respectfully undid the poorly done tape and placed the wrapping paper to the side, opening the box to see some soft black and white fabric. When he took it out of the box and unfolded it, he saw it was a new unicorn onesie, this one black with stars instead of white, with a rainbow horn, lining, and wrists. Logan started to tear up, holding it back when he addressed Remus, “Thank you, Remus, this is… perfect.”

Despite how calmly it was stated, Janus and Remus both knew how much something had to mean to Logan for him to call it perfect.

Logan went next, getting Janus a new heated blanket with his yellow two-headed snake logo on it, which he loved. Next, he looked at Remus, “So, I did some research, and I got you something. But before I give it to you, I require confirmation that you will not use this on another side.”

“Ooo! Is it a torture device!?”

“Yes. But you cannot have it until you at least promise me that you will not use this on another side. You can use it on as many of yours or Roman’s unsuspecting imaginary townspeople as you wish, but not. A. Side.”

“Jeez, Wolverine, I promise, okay?! Now gimme.” Remus made grabby hands at Logan.

Logan reached behind his back and emerged with a metal dark grey and green pear-shaped object. He holds it out to Remus and he grabs it, “Remus, this is a Pear of Anguish. The first known account of one is in the 17th century, and it is operated as so,” Logan gently pulls the device back from Remus’s hands and twists the circle at the top, making it pop out into expanding segments, “This simple pear would be placed inside the orifice of a person and then gradually expanded. The kindest use was in a person’s mouth where it would ultimately shatter the skull, causing death. More gruesome is when it was used on parts in the lower half of the body which was rarely fatal, but excruciating.”

Remus giggled at ‘lower half of the body’ “Thank you so much, Logan! I can’t wait to try this out, you’re the best!”

Janus went last, giving Remus a silver tentacle-themed ear cuff, which he enjoyed very much, putting it on right away. Next, he gave Logan a gigantic telescope with stars and math equations all over it, with Logan’s logo big on the side. Logan teared up at the thoughtfulness and hugged Janus tight.

The three ended up spending the whole night and day following snuggling together watching cheesy Christmas romcoms, and drinking hot chocolate.

That evening, on the Light Side of the mindscape, the Lights once again did a Secret Santa. Sadly, Janus and Remus weren’t included since their attendance was decided so late, but Patton made sure to get them each something.

Logan got Roman this year, so he got him a journal full of prompts in which he could write, draw, or brainstorm. Patton got Logan, and he made him a bunch of cupcakes with the Logan’s Berry Crofters Jam, which Logan was eternally thankful for. Roman got Virgil, and he got him a grey weighted blanket which he altered by sewing on purple plaid patches with white thread to match the emo’s hoodie. Virgil was thankful he got Patton, getting him a better gift than before by hand sewing small toys of all of them, sheepishly adding he’d make Remus and Janus too “I guess.” Patton got Remus a stuffed animal of a green octopus with a mustache and he got Janus a stuffed animal of a yellow snake with a bowler hat that had a small heater inside.

Everyone loved their gifts and had a great time, but Logan couldn’t decide what his favorite part of that Christmas was; unwrapping presents with the Dark Sides at midnight or eating Crofters-filled cupcakes with them late Christmas night when all the Light Sides had gone to bed.

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jonismitchell · 4 years

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hey!! i haven’t talked to you in forever i hope you’re doing well. idk if you’ve answered this recently, sorry- top three on every album (totally put why if you want to, i love hearing people’s different opinions on this)

ahhh hey! i’m doing okay (as well as can be considered given the state of the world). i have not answered this question since folklore came out, so here’s a short opinion piece by yours truly. (under the cut because i never learned to shut up)

debut: - our song: listening to taylor swift sing from the “man’s perspective” for the first time is something that can be so personal. i’m pretty sure that this is also the first taylor song i ever heard (in 2012) so i have some degree of emotional attachment to it. - invisible: cause i just wanna show you! she don’t even know you! visceral flashbacks of playing this on loop while watching ever after high and harry potter videos in, like, fifth grade. truly describes my pining for every single person i’ve ever liked oops - should’ve said no: she’s so righteously angry and i love it. also the country accent is so strong here and i am absolutely obsessed with that.... legends only. anyway this is your reminder not to get back with your scumbag ex.

fearless: - love story: this is a classic! this is literally a classic. god the forbidden love, the happy ending, this implications of this being one of the biggest hits of her career.... it is The Ultimate Taylor Swift Song and we all just have to respect that. also a healthy dose of “the man’s perspective.” she SAW that film before and she changed the ending!! i cannot :) - come in with the rain: her vocals on this song are so dreamy and the song is really sweet. i think it manages to be lowkey and straddle how fucking dramatic being a teenager is with a lot of class that most of fearless doesn’t access. it’s a good song! - you belong with me: hey it’s the lonely hopeless romantic anthem! yes i know i’m citing the two biggest hits from fearless... they got popular because they’re super good okay! i would argue that the songwriting here is very classic taylor and it’s also super sweet :)

speak now: - last kiss: ugh this really is an amazing breakup ballad. it’s full of amazing one-liners like “you can plan for a change in the weather and time but i never planned on you changing your mind.” i can’t believe how brilliant the whole song is and it’s even more impressive when you remember she wrote it alone. cannot wait to hear the updated vocals but the shaky breaths in the original are perfection <3 - enchanted: okay this is actually my favourite speak now song but i thought i’d shut up about being a lonely romantic for more than five seconds! anyway i have projected this onto so many people... it’s so relatable and yet it’s super general and YET it makes no sense when you think about it... that’s my style of taylor swift song - the story of us: i love how blatantly unhinged taylor was while writing speak now it really speaks to me. i didn’t really like this one so much before but i went through a Thing and binge listened and now i am obsessed. love love love the lyrics and i think the production suits it well too

red: - holy ground: this is my ALL TIME FAVOURITE taylor swift song. i genuinely think these are the best lyrics she has written in her whole career.... “we blocked the noise with the sound of you and for the first time i had something to lose?” no one is doing it like her they simply aren’t. this song is absolutely perfect.... i don’t really have words to describe it i just need everyone to appreciate my taste for a minute - treacherous: gay little taylor swift. the whole idea of forbidden love crops up again here and i have to say i love it. i swear to god the vibes... the quiet confessional on the verses that explodes into this huge ranting bridge? that’s it that’s it that’s one of the best songs of all time man miss swift is an icon - state of grace: love is like a religion, perhaps. this contains such a wonderful extended metaphor and utilizes a bunch of different writing tactics so well. i sound like a broken record at this point but this is a good song! and yes i project it onto lucas (i’m fine to say that no one is reading this much)

1989: - wildest dreams: oh just say you’ll remember me! it’s the songs about doomed love that always get me, something forbidden, something you have to keep private for fear of it being destroyed. side note, everyone who thinks a song as good as this is about harry styles can fight me. taylor pulled this out of my personal diary in sixth grade and it hasn’t stopped being relatable since - wonderland: oh you guys know i love a literary reference and wonderland is so good. haven’t you heard what becomes of curious minds is also really gay so the song works well for me. oh and a special shoutout to everyone who removed a tattoo because of this song, i hope you’re doing real well - style: very happy that i never think of anyone in particular when i listen to this banger and instead just enjoy it like a normal person <3 i remember not understanding the hype until binge listening to 1989 one day in eighth grade and being like “oh i get it now” so there’s that (shoutout to this love for nearly being on this list)

reputation: - dancing with our hands tied: this is another one of my all time favourites! the pining, the gay vibes, the love that dies in secrecy... it basically goes through my list of how to be a good song and ticks my requirements off one by one. i love how anxious the production is and her emotion while singing it on rep tour. karlie kloss fucking fight me challenge. - new year’s day: this quiet subtlety of this love ballad gets to me... it was my favourite when i originally listened to reputation and hasn’t fallen out of the top three since. i think it highlights taylor’s songwriting abilities and her ability to make me cry, both very important aspects of music - delicate: this is another hopeless romantic pining song! how many are we up to now? i really think delicate is the essential crush song that describes basically every feeling i’ve ever had. and unfortunately, up to this point, it has all been delicate :/ at least i have the solace of sharing problems with a talented millionaire

lover: - cruel summer: this really is THE fucking song for me... it encapsulated my ninth grade year, it makes my heart hurt, it’s line after line of pain to me personally. i have no idea what miss swift is banging on about here (and i prefer it that way) but it really just means a lot to me! another song that sounds like my diary entry and is also completely inaccessible, i don’t know how she does it. - the archer: i love the moment where taylor swift decided that she was going to give those of us with anxiety a theme song every single album, and i think the archer is a definite highlight of her whole career. the subtle dreampop influences and the confessional vibes make it exactly what i wanted from lover, and also it hurts me emotionally in ways i can’t fully articulate. - lover: see, i do have a heart! listen, i’m only fifteen years old but i know i want this song to play at my wedding. it is so quietly romantic and perfectly sure of its own goals. it does not seek to accomplish any other goal than being a love song. i started thinking about the lyrics while writing this and now i have to go cry in a corner. (shoutout to cornelia street for nearly being on this list)

folklore: - mirrorball: right on holy ground’s heels for the dubious honour of being my favourite ever taylor swift song, mirrorball describes my Whole Life so unfortunately i’m considering suing miss swift herself. i just think that it speaks to me in ways that would require a whole essay to explain.... let’s just not - august: here’s your mandatory hopeless romantic pining song. did i mention i nearly cried to this on the day of release? i think that she Gets It. i don’t know taylor and i don’t entertain delusions of her knowing me but man she really just plucked the core of my whole love life and said “here’s a song about it, will you shut up now?” back when we were still changing for the better... i need a minute - betty: definitely influenced by the stellar performance at the acms! or maybe i just love listening to taylor openly singing about girls.... i just have a lot of feelings about the emotional resonance about the grand romantic gesture this song builds up to! the key change! the storytelling! kissing on the porch in front of all your stupid friends! this is what taylor swift is all about (shoutout to illicit affairs, my tears ricochet, and this is me trying for nearly being on this list)

#loudwithlaughter #asking with you #this is just 1500 words about how much i love random songs

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yukiwrites · 4 years

Text

Byleth, Revealing the Truth

Thank you for the support as always, @xpegasusuniverse! This is always so interesting to work on! >v<)

Summary: Coming to terms with the realization that he will never see Sothis again, Byleth finally confronts Rhea in front of the student body and reveals the truth of the deep and dark secrets the Church had been keeping for a thousand years...

Commission info HERE and HERE!

______________________________

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7 - Part 8 - Part 9 - Part 10 - Part 11 - Part 12 - Part 13 - Part 14 - Part 15

The air underground felt thicker and thicker with magical energy the closer they got to the Holy Tomb. Byleth could almost hear the memories unraveling around him, taking everything he had to simply look ahead and lead the way.

The students -- Claude, Linhardt and Ignatz especially -- explored the stones with deep curiosity, whispering amongst themselves while coming up with this or that theory about the place's origins. Once they descended through a mysterious contraption -- something Byleth's memories told him was called 'elevator' -- the awed gasps increased.

There it lay, right in front of them -- the gargantuan underground space known as the Holy Tomb.

"Are you surprised, Professor? This is the Holy Tomb." Rhea pressed her lips into a thin line, as though testing Byleth's grasp in Sothis' memories. The young Professor simply chewed his lower lip and took a short breath, seeing the young Rhea giggling and twirling around herself in every single place he directed his gaze to.

Standing on Byleth's left, Dimitri looked around with large eyes. "Incredible. To think such a vast space has been hiding beneath the Monastery all this time. I wonder what powers that giant mechanism that descends beneath the ground." He whispered the last part more to himself, taking a hand to his chin in thought.

Rhea's steps turned hastier as they approached the throne sitting on the opposite side of the entrance. It overlooked any and all who entered, centered so as to watch over the countless sarcophagi scattered all over the grounds.

"This is where the goddess who created this world was laid to rest, along with her children." She gestured vaguely from the sarcophagi to the throne. "It is said," she tried very hard to suppress her smirk, "that our creator, the goddess Sothis, sat upon this very throne." She let the words sink in for a moment, waiting for when Byleth's gaze turned to her. "Do you recognize this throne, Professor?"

"What, why would he know about this? Is that because he received the power from the goddess?" Claude blurted out from the position Hanneman had guided the Golden Deers to, crossing his arms in confusion.

"I do not think now's the time to ask such questions, Claude..." Ignatz shook his head beside Claude, whispering as low as he could, though still falling victim to the mysterious echo of the Holy Tomb.

"Now's precisely the time to ask questions, though..." Unsatisfied, but intent on staying put for the time being, Claude crossed both hands behind his head, feigning nonchalance.

Byleth looked away from Rhea towards the throne, clutching his chest and embracing the lump in his throat. "I do." He replied simply, making the Archbishop blink enthusiastically and clap her hands gracefully.

"So long... So long have I waited for this very day." Her eyes looked glazed over; her controlled smile just a step from conveying the deep-rooted madness within. "Go, Professor," she urged the young man through the steps. "Sit upon the throne. I have no doubt -- no doubt! -- that you will be gifted a r-revelation from the goddess." She bit her lower lip in anticipation.

Byleth gazed upon the throne, feeling the heat escape his body and his throat go dry.

He had just seen it inside his head, barely a week ago. He had gone up these very steps within his mind to console Sothis when she had regained her memory, just a few weeks previous. He had seen her sit upon it countless, countless times inside their shared memories.

His eyes burning, Byleth gripped the hilt of the Sword of the Creator on his hip and climbed the steps, one by one; one by one.

The more the throne approached, the more visions Byleth could see -- of Rhea, of Sothis, of her children; even of a young Seteth -- and his legs started trembling. He knew that if he had a normal heart, this would be the moment where it would be beating so loud he would barely be able to hear his own breathing.

Alas, his chest was as silent as ever, though if only his mind could say the same...

He touched the cold stone of the throne's hand rest, feeling a crackle of energy clashing with the one being emitted from his own body. Taking a deep breath, the professor slowly took a seat in the middle of the large throne, reminding him of how small Sothis always looked whenever she sat on it inside their shared mindscape.

Closing his eyes, Byleth felt a surge of memories cascading through his mind.

He could almost, almost hear Sothis' voice again, though it all stemmed from his own memories.

“You fool!! Do not go asking questions you might regret hearing the answer to!” “Give it to her! Get away from here this instant! I cannot bear this conversation any longer!” He could hear her voice almost as clear as day, though he knew, deep within himself, that this was all just his own wishful thinking showing him what he wanted to see.

“I condone the way you forcefully try to yank it all out of me.” “Your mind has been wandering and wandering…” “Sothis, also known as The Beginning. I identify with both aliases, as does the goddess.” “Am I simply a part of the goddess? The conscience once calls ‘self’? If so, is that the reason why I bear the appearance of a child?” Her voice as she condoned or comforted him made the Professor press his own lips into a thin line, a deep frown squeezing his eyes shut lest they overflowed with grief.

“Experiment? What- Did I go through such a thing in the past?” “NO! No, no! Nooo!” “This… this is… It’s how I died.”

Byleth could barely keep himself from expressing his own grief, watching his and Sothis’ shared memories play out inside his mind.

“So that is why I did not want to remember…” “Will you come with me?” “Thank you…” “I have the memories back, not the powers! Oh, why-why must this happen…!” “What a beautiful love it must’ve been.” “Your Father had been wary of her from day one.”

“Indeed… The wicked must be punished.”

“It was that simple, young one. She wanted to see me again.”

Byleth opened his eyes, his gaze meeting Rhea’s.

“She wanted to bring me back to life, Byleth, by using your body as a medium. I’d wager she almost succeeded this time.” “Even though we’ve been together ever since you were born, it is a shame that I’ve only awoke a few months ago.” “It is not the same as death, silly child. I will always be with you, quite literally.”

“We simply… will not be able to talk like this. I shall miss it.”

Rhea’s expression started to crumble. “Well…?”

“Can I be selfish just one more time?” “Could you- hug me?” “This will be the very last time anyway, for all eternity.”

Byleth slowly ascended from the throne, taking quiet steps down the stairs towards the Archbishop.

“Thank you… I’m glad it was with you to whom my fate was bound.”

The Professor stopped midway to the staircase, taking a deep breath and turning to the throne, bowing slightly to it. "I'm sorry, my friend... I’ll try to keep my promise as best I can, but…” He raised his gaze to the cold stone, then back to the increasingly nervous Archbishop.

Averting her gaze, Byleth tried to walk past her in a strangled silence, but she took his arm with a force that did not match her frail-looking get-up.

"W-wait, Professor? What happened? It w-was supposed to be just a step away..." Her voice derailed as her eyes shook -- the color seeped out of her face with each breath she took. "Answer me!"

"L-Lady Rhea, pray let the Professor go-" Dimitri tried to touch Rhea's hand which gripped Byleth's arm, but was shook off by the increasingly unhinged Archbishop.

"Do not interfere, child!" She hissed, her eyes and cheeks hollowing in despair.

Byleth's brow flickered with anger, so he, too, shook off Rhea's hand. "Don't touch my students." His voice was low, but somber, full of authority and barely controlled anger.

It was as though he had the poise of a god for the entire room fell silent as chills spread around everyone's spines.

Hanneman and Manuela exchanged glances, ready to haul the students out at any indication of Rhea losing control.

"I'm not a tool for your schemes anymore, Rhea! What did you want to happen, truly? To have Sothis possess my body and live and speak through my mouth? You can't ever replicate her body! It would've been a prison just as cruel as the one they put her through!"

"NO! No- no, she would be free! She would walk amongst us again- M-mother...! She would- reconstruct herself once she regained her powers-" Rhea blabbed, her field of vision and consciousness narrowing to Byleth only, forgetting about the dozens of onlookers.

Byleth clutched his chest, "regained what powers? Through a limited vessel there was no way to channel them! She could only keep the form of an amnesic child! Haven't you realized that the power of her soul can't be contained only in her Crest Stone?! The most she could do was wish to know who she was!"

Rhea's eyes widened so, they almost bulged out of her skull. "F-form of a child? No memories...? But then, how do you- how did she give you this power- o-oh, Mother..."

The Professor's chin trembled with the overlapped version of Rhea and her child self, his eyes burning with tears -- no doubt stemming from Sothis' side of his soul. "She!" He didn't notice he raised his voice until it left his throat. "She didn't want me to resent you up until the very end. She asked me to be merciful to the child who was most attached to her." His voice trembled and he could feel that a single tear escaped, though he was quick to dry it with the back of his hand.

Rhea's legs gave out. "M-mother..." She dug her face into her hands; her entire body, that once felt imposing and all-knowing, trembled and shivered like a lost little girl who simply missed her mother.

The students watched with glazed eyes, not knowing what to think or where all of that came from, most of their mouths agape in shock.

Byleth gave his back to the sobbing Rhea, turning to the audience. His eyes met his coworkers, though he could only see their worry for him in their expressions. He simply nodded and looked away from them towards every single student. "I'm sure you all have many questions." He managed to control his voice and grip at his sword to ground himself. "What failed to happen just now was the resurrection of the goddess." He declared, noticing how the air itself started to waver due to the students' anxiety. He took out his weapon and hung it overhead.

The Sword of the Creator shone in its characteristic red glow, stealing every pair of eyes towards it. "I have been housing the consciousness of the goddess inside me, which is why I am able to wield the weapon that was made with her very own bones."

A low 'eek' was heard amongst the students, though was deafened by Claude's loud objection. "Bones? What'dya mean by that, Teach? Are you saying...?"

Byleth nodded, pointing towards the House Leader. "Failnaught," he went from Claude to Dimitri, "Areadbhar," then towards the spot the Blue Lions stood at, "The Crusher, Aegir Shield, the Lance of Ruin, Lùin..." Then, he looked back to the Alliance House, "Freikugel, Thyrsus... They were all made out of the bones and crystallized blood of the children of the goddess. That I can wield the Sword of the Creator without its own Crest Stone is the proof -- for the crystallized blood of the goddess rests within my own heart."

"B-bones?" Ingrid's grasp on Lùin faltered, allowing it to fall with a loud clang on the ground. "B-but the ancient texts..."

"The Church has been manipulating the information of what happened a millennia ago to hide the true nature of the tragedy." Byleth placed the tip of his sword on the ground, resting both hands upon its hilt. "I'm sure none of you forgot what happened at Remire village." He let his words hang in the air for a moment before continuing. "Those who were behind the attack on the village, as well as behind the murder of my father... They were the ones who, a thousand years ago, murdered the goddess and her children, drank their blood and made weapons out of their very bodies." His throat itched as the information was difficult to say. His eyes fell upon Flayn, who looked down in unfathomable grief. She had also been there, back then, as Sothis' memories imbued within the Sword of the Creator told him.

Mercedes and Marianne covered their faces with horror, being comforted by Annette and Hilda respectively, while the most devout students stared at the space without knowing what to think.

Edelgard took a step forward, seeing an opportunity. "Are you saying that we should topple the Church and let the people be free to believe in whatever gods they wish, Professor? This is all SO very surprising..."

Byleth shook his head. "Topple it? No. But it needs immediate reform. The people deserve to know the truth."

"Interesting." The Imperial Princess took the same step back, glancing around to watch everyone's reactions at the same time a loud wail exploded behind Byleth.

It was Rhea.

Her grief was so deep that she completely forgot how many millennia had been since she had been a little girl.

She cried and howled with the pain within her heart. "LEAVE! All of you- leave this place! Mother's- Mother's resting holy ground!" She bellowed as she dug her face deeper within her hands.

Byleth pressed his lips into a thin line, glancing back at Rhea then towards his fellow professors. They all nodded in agreement and started to herd the students to the exit.

"Wait, wait, wait, we're leaving? I still have a lot to ask, though!" Claude scurried to Byleth while Manuela had to physically maim Linhardt out of his spot.

"I'll answer whatever you want." Byleth nodded to the House Leader, then looked over his shoulder to the aghast students. "Whatever you all want. But for now..." he clutched his chest, trying not to think of the pain of losing his one and only friend for good. "For now, let's leave her to mourn on her own." He whispered under Rhea's loud wails.

The Archbishop climbed on the steps and threw herself on the throne, hugging it as though she did her mother, crying like she hadn’t cried in ages past.

I'll protect her from the public scorn however I can... I hope that's enough to fulfill my promise, Sothis.

#fire emblem three houses #fe3h #byleth fire emblem #sothis fire emblem #rhea fire emblem #my writings #yuki's commissions #spoilers

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