#i thought that it would be cute if the bois had gay meme shirts for pride

[mourgexistence]

Happy pride month YV community

#yuurivoice #yuurivoice alphonse #yuurivoice seth #yuurivoice finn #digatal art #i thought that it would be cute if the bois had gay meme shirts for pride #i like to imagine that listener put makeup on seth and al #i am very tired #EDIT I FORGOT FINNS FRECKELS

[comfyswitcherblanketfort]

Professor Cavill HC

listen yall.... i usually stay away from the Real Person fic kinda stuff bc i learned from the psychosis that was the 1D fandom but... this post and @brexrif s additions got me thinking...

Henry as a prof of any kind:

he learns after the first week of his rookie semester that he needs to keep his shirts buttoned all the way. the girls in the front row did not, and could not, pay attention.

he abandons the idea of using the school gym to work out after two days

a group of students just camps in the slow lane of the track surrounding the weight room and ogle

someone said something about ancient Greeks collecting the sweat of gladiators and he had to wipe his sweat off to hide the giggle

ratemyprofessor dot com gets wild

“giant goofball. super hot. defs failed the course bc he was just too hot to concentrate. gonna take it again tho 😏 because i need the credits. just for the credits“

“My girlfriend dumped me bc she felt guilty that she was thinking about Mr. C while we fucked. Stung a bit, but it was the best sex we had...”

all the ‘i thought i was straight’ guys losing their minds

“Someone really should have warned me that hes this hot. I am too much of a thirsty bitch. This semester might actually kill me.”

the ‘how big is it?!’ discourse gets so many people banned that they move it to reddit

complete with zoomed in photos from the second row of class when they think he isn't looking

the engineering majors whip out that trig to try to figure it out, for thirst and just to end the madness.

it makes it worse when they all get results in the 8.84-9.62 inch region depending on what they use in the background for reference and where they rounded digits. 

one class is brave and takes to carving their phone numbers or social media into apples to leave on his desk.

one day he walks in to like seven of them and just gives this long suffering sigh while trying not to laugh, it would encourage them too much.

he does that Hot Teacher thing where he leans back against the desk with his arms and legs crossed and has to be like “Guys. For the love of all that’s good and holy. I don’t have tenure yet, don’t fuck this up for me. Keep the thirst on reddit, please?”

half of them aren’t listening bc his arms are just so big and there’s chest hair peeking out above his sweater and they’re just weak like me

in five minutes there’s a whole new thread frantically trying to sift thru and find his user

his WoW character gets leaked and he just gets buried in gifts

the dean has to have that awkward, “look dude you gotta make a new profile, this is just a scandal waiting to happen.”

he deadass begged the openly ace seniors to be his TA bc the last one was just exhaustively flirty and shameless

he hears someone lament the Chin Dimple™ and grows a beard in hopes that tamps their enthusiasm

this only brings a new demographic into the reddit thread/what has almost become a fandom

he shaves and they go buck wild

he tries a stache because he sees a post about how every guy is instantly creepier with a pornstache

once again, makes. it. worse.

one particularly fearless student calls him “Magnum” at the end of that semester and he blushes

buzzfeed writes an article about him, screenshots of the threads included.

the day he gets contacts instead of those cute nerd glasses the whole class is drooling but half post later that they miss the dorky glasses

he assigns a ‘make a meme out of this’ project and half of them come back with the guy looking over his shoulder at the passing girl while his girlfriend looks at him in disgust, all about him. 

his favorite one had the guy labeled “The whole class” the girlfriend labeled “getting any work done” and the passing girl labeled “Mr. C’s ass”

he gives this guy an A but swears him to secrecy, he cant encourage the thirst but the kid took a risk

the school has to be like ‘calm the fuck down guys. hes just some nerd in sweater vests. plz we like him and you are making us nervous about lawsuits’

Someone sees him out on a date in a leather jacket and reddit goes insane 

everyone actually tries for his classes

he has to make a sign up sheet for office hours

which he now does outside in the courtyard because someone wrote a rather detailed and impressive smut fic called “Office Hours or Dick Appointment?” that had the dean giving him side eye

he secretly loves it but keeps up the long suffering shy boy act out of necessity 

if he makes a song or movie reference it is immediately added to a playlist somewhere

the gays are praying hes bi

praying

the year he gets tenure the seniors do a skit about the redit thread at graduation - it fucking slaps

he give a thumbs up and approving nod

i could truly go for days. plz add to it. 

#im scared to tag this yall #i dont think im gonna #😂 yall can with reblogs but i dont want that responsibility #henry cavill #the witcher #clark kent nerd vibes

[xcactusarto]

Heaven Help Me

an Aoyama Yuga x Iida Tenya university au fic

Ao3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/33615358

Summary:

What would happen if you found out the person that ordered art prints from you is the guy you’ve been interested in and lives 2 dorms away from you?

Poor Aoyama is denying his feelings from all the times boys broke his little heart, but this guy seems different and became even more special after Aoyama finds out this dude is a big fan of his art! Will he deliver the art prints himself or just leave the package at his door?

Part 1 / ?

Chapter 2 -

Aoyama was anxious to spill the tea on what had just happened to Bakugou once he could go back to his dorm. Even if he was excited to spill the beans, his stomach was not in good shape. He knew this feeling all too well.

He wanted it gone.

Aoyama arrived 5 minutes late after having to change routes and hiding between the bushes next to the art building to throw up dramatically. Thankfully his teacher was late so he could calm down and sit down. Aoyama felt seasick despite only having butterflies. Throw up could happen or the shits. ‘Not in this outfit’ Aoyama thought as he gripped his phone. The class only lasts 30 mins. Since his teacher was late probably less. Maybe he could text Bakugou about how sick he felt maybe they could walk together to the dorms.

.

.

.

Baku dear! My stomach is being very bitchy ~(>_<~) could you pick me up???

.

.

.

.

5 mins passed and Bakugou didn’t answer. Nor did the teacher show up yet. Aoyama looked around and his classmates looked confused as well. Aoyama looks a little to his right and whispers to his classmate.

“Dear, uh do you know if we had class today?”, his classmate looked at him and whispered back.

“Gurlie I’m not gonna lie, this is the first time in the semester I have come to class”, The classmate giggled and said,” Oh, but dude your outfit is hella cute”. Aoyama smiles at his classmate. A girl with a pink afro, a pink headband that made the knotted ends look like horns on her head, and hazel eyes.

“Oh thank you! But I gotta say you look absolutely dashing! Love the colors!”, Aoyama looked at his classmate up and down scanning her outfit. A blue tie-dye crop top with purple spots that went down to her chest. A black bralette under and some pastel yellow sweatpants that gave Aoyama the idea that she could be a dancer. White sneakers with colorful shoelaces. “What’s your name dear?”, Aoyama asked smiling. A small link formed and it was the start of a very nice and stylish friendship.

“Mina Ashido! And you?”, Mina said excitedly as she almost jumped from her seat. She could see this dude could be a great way to pass the class without having to show up. “Yuga Aoyama. Pleased to meet you.” Aoyama and Mina chatted as they waited for their teacher to show up. Slowly the people around them would get up and leave or just chat with each other. The silence of the room cleared up as Mina and Aoyama laughed and talked about their passion for fashion and their hobbies. Aoyama’s perception of Mina was right, she was a Dance major. She was currently doing ballet because she didn’t want her parents to know she was an underground street dancer. On the other hand, Mina learned Aoyama was a digital artist and even got to see some of his pieces. Both were very passionate and frankly, they could be each other’s moral support.

“Hey how about we exchange numbers?”, Mina said and quickly looked around. They were the only ones in class. The classroom was empty and the clock ticking at the front of the class. The class had just ended. Maybe coming to class wasn’t so bad since Aoyama was here. They both looked at each other and laughed. Aoyama’s butterflies were gone and Mina took away his anxiety of shitting himself.

“Yeah that would be wonderful”, Aoyama and Mina then tapped their phone and so they could now talk to each other without having to be in class. Maybe even hang out sometime. As they walked to the door and parted ways Aoyama could notice Bakugou never replied, but his bitch ass left Aoyama on seen. Aoyama was used to it and knew Bakugou would come. Bakugou often forgot to reply , but would do stuff Aoyama texted him to do or asked.

Aoyama waited outside the building for a while. He then sat down and looked at his phone. Scrolled down on his Twitter and Instagram timeline for some time. Aoyama then let out a sigh and got up. He then plugged in his earphones and as he was about to walk away his dorm neighbor called out to him. “Aoyama-kun! Wait up”, A slightly freckled buff guy with green fluffy curly hair called out to him. He wasn’t very stylish , but was always kind to Aoyama. Even though at one point our little Aoyama stalked him because he wanted to be friends with him. I mean he needed a reference for his styling assignment and he was perfect for the outfit. Aoyama stood there and waited for him to catch up to him. “Did class just finish for you too?”, The green-haired hunk asked Aoyama. Aoyama looked at him and explained his situation of waiting for Bakugou.

“Ah, Kacchan didn’t come to pick you up? I can walk you then since we are going to the same dorms!”, his dorm neighbor was always a lifesaver. “Denki is probably at our dorm so I can text him if he can check if Kacchan is there”.

“Please Midori! I’m worried he is oversleeping again. Which I doubt it...He’s probably working out”, Aoyama said as he locked arms with his neighbor. Midoriya Izuku or as Bakugou called him, ‘Deku’, shared a room with Denki Kaminari. Both Midoriya and Denki were his dorm neighbors and often came to watch movies or just help Aoyama with styling assignments. Midoriya was known by the fashion majors as the guy that wore weird shirts. Today he was wearing a pastel blue pullover that had ‘tiny weenie baby’ on it. Aoyama wanted to chuckle , but decided to hold it in. Midoriya’s boyfriend could probably say that was true. They walked to the dorms and as soon as Aoyama got close to the door he slammed it open.

“BITCH YOU HAD ME WAITING FOR 20 MINS OUTSIDE!”, Aoyama said hand still on the door. Midoriya looking over Aoyama’s shoulder. They had caught Bakugou at a...uh special moment.

“CAN’T YOU KNOCK?!”, Bakugou shouted back as he was making out with a purple-haired dude that looked exhausted. Bakugou was still in pajamas while the other was dressed like an e-boy that had just come out of hot topic after his mother had given him an allowance of $10 to spend on my chemical romance merch. That emo boy was Shinso Hitoshi, Bakugou’s boyfriend, and Aoyama’s ex-boyfriend which actually ended well with no heartbreak. I mean they lasted 1 week. Midoriya sneakily walking away then bumped into Denki who was joined by his dark-haired friend. Aoyama looked behind him and immediately then pulls Midoriya as to show proof in an Ace Attorney game.

“I can’t believe poor little Midori had to take time out of his day to walk me back!” Aoyama said as he hugged Midoriya with puppy eyes.

“W-Well uh technically I was walking back so might as well accompany him, right?” Midoriya nervously smiled as Denki walked into the room and held in the laughter he had from seeing Bakugou slightly flustered from being caught getting it on with Shinso. Bakugou then of course starts arguing with Deku as if Deku was the one at fault. Oh well, Aoyama needed to spill the beans on the guy he saw and interacted with so he gathered Denki, Shinso, and Denki’s friend who was just watching the chaos happening in a room full of gays. Except for Denki he had a girlfriend. I mean he isn’t straight, but bisexual so yeah a gay too. Aoyama shoved them to the other side of the room onto his bottom bunk. They all proceeded to sit down and let Aoyama sit cross-legged in the middle while he held a pillow.

“Oh my gosh, guys please help me snap out of these feelings I’m having! I’M GONNA DIE!”, Aoyama said as he swung his arms around dramatically.

“Is he gonna scooter ankle or is he being dramatic?” Denki’s friend leaned over and whispered in Denki’s ear.

“No Sero, he is just being dramatic about something .”, Shinso said as they looked at Aoyama giving them puppy eyes. Sero Hanta, Denki’s friend who was wrapped up in this situation. Sero is a black-haired dude with a nice wide smile. He often just wore pullovers and looked like those dudes that sits right in front of you in computer class and just watching memes or editing Shrek on Ronal McDonald’s body. Those dudes are pretty chill once you start talking to them.

“Just let him spill the tea guys. I wanna know what made him so anxious”, Denki said as he nudged both of the boys to listen.

“So I was walking to class alright?? And then and then I bumped into this guy while I was checking the time on my phone! And then bam this dude was holding me so sweetly and he was so strong might I add!!”, Aoyama said excitedly as he gripped the pillow close to his chest. The boys on the other hand looked at him. Maybe he’s being dramatic, Denki thought. The room of course was still noisy while Aoyama spilled his feelings on the hunk of a man that literally held him as if it was a shojo manga.

“And then he even HELD MY HAND!! MY PRECIOS HAND TO HAND ME MY PHONE!! He also told me to be careful and walked away as if nothing happened!!”, Aoyama sighs after this and just lets his body lay on the boys legs as he dramatically puts his left arm over his face.

“Well, that was something. How did he look like wey?”, Sero asked as he held Aoyama’s arm away from his face. Denki and Shinso nodded. Aoyama then puts a finger on his lips and thinks for a little. “Mind if I sketch him out?” Aoyama says as he signals Shinso to pass him his sketchbook.

After a few minutes, he then shows the boys as he had decided to sit between Denki and Sero. “He looked like this!! He had some weird eyebrows that looked like the Nike symbols!”, Aoyama pointed at the drawing. The boys felt like they had seen him before. They just couldn’t find this dude’s name in the glossary of their minds.

“Isn’t that Iida-kun?”

#bnha aoyama #mha aoyama #aoyama yūga #bnha iida #iida tenya #mha iida #mha bakugou #bakugou katsuki #mha deku #izuku midoriya #bnha mina #mina ashido #bnha sero #sero hanta #latino sero hanta #bnha denki #denki kaminari #bnha shinsou #shinso hitoshi #bnha kirishima #Kirishima Eijiro #bnha fanfiction #mha fanfiction #university au

[minjoonie-song]

0:00 “Hello! Welcome to Minjoon’s Kitchen.” “Who’s fucking kitchen?” Brandon’s voice off camera startled a laugh out of Minjoon, loud and squeaky; and that was it for the theme of the live. “Welcome to uh... Welcome to Minjoon in a kitchen.” “Welcome to not Minjoon’s Kitchen.” Brandon added, finally coming into view. “Welcome not Minjoon to Minjoon’s Kitchen, not in Minjoon’s kitchen.” “Featuring Minjoon.” “Welcome to Brandon’s kitchen!” “Welcome to Brandon is trying to get his car home because she’s parked in fucking central LA after we went for brunch and had so many mimosas that I legally wasn’t allowed to drive us home.” “Hi MTV. Welcome to Brandon’s crib.” “Look mom! I‘m on MTV and I didn’t have to be 16 and pregnant to do it!” The pair started cackling again, uncontrollably hysterical in their inebriated states. 8:14

“You should make that a thing.” ”What?” ”Not Minjoon’s Kitchen. Once a month you just show up at a random fans house, streaming and giving them no time to prepare for you to cook whatever they have in their house.” ”Absolutely not. You know I like to be organised when cooking.” ”You’re literally squinting at lettuce in the fridge, I think you’re past that.” ”That’s lettuce?” “Oh my god, Minjoon. You can’t cook like this.” “I can’t see properly. I don’t know where my glasses are.” “This is going to be the most disappointing episode of your show ever and it’s live. We can’t cook, it’s gonna be dangerous and messy.” “In the words of the awesome Jake Peralta. Title of your sex tape.” “Oh my god. No, mine would be called uhh.. Put that thing back where it came from or so help me.” “Nope. I already claimed that for mine.” “Joonie! I hate the accuracy.” The laughing continued, even as the pair complained that they couldn’t breathe.

18:58

After they’d finally calmed down they took the camera with them to the couch, after the executive decision that the pair were definitely in no state to try to actually cook anything and a too large order of pizza. “We have like half an hour to kill. What are we going to do now?” “Remember when I asked for a Q&A way back in the past when I thought I’d be sober at four in the afternoon? We’ll do that and then I guess I’m writing a formal apology on my notes app to anyone who was hungry and eager to learn. Just like a real celebrity.” Minjoon fished around in his pockets for his phone, handing it to Brandon once it was unlocked so he could read it aloud. “I just figured out the greeting. Welcome to the last ever episode of Minjoon’s Kitchen.” “My biggest mistake this time was too much Minjoon and not enough kitchen. Some people come just to see my organised spice rack.” “You’ve both upgraded and downgraded to Brandon’s Couch.” “Love it. I’ve re-branded. Put it on a T-shirt. Every episode I’m just going to show you how to order different pizzas. We’re a podcast now.” “You’re a dumbass. Alright! Let’s see what we got. Minjoon.. What is your favorite thing to cook?”  “Everyone I see with how hot I am.” The laughter started up once more, even despite their previous attempts to calm down. “I fucking told you! I knew you’d get that one.” “You owe me $50 for saying it!” “I’ll buy all the pizza you just ordered, how about that?” “Catch me outside?” “Stop! How have you made it this far in life as a meme?” “I wasn’t always like this, it’s part of my rebrand. Brandon’s Couch: Meme edition.” “I can’t believe we failed cooking and now we’re already failing the Q&A.” “No! No, I got this. My favourite thing at the moment.. I love making risotto. Mostly because I get to eat it afterwards and I love eating risotto but yeah! That’s my favourite right now.” “I don’t think that’s really answering.” “It’s my answer. This is still not Minjoon’s Kitchen featuring Minjoon for this last episode. Shh. Next question!” “This one asks if there is anything in particular that gets me inspired for designs? Yes! I love art so as soon as my bank account hits below a mil, I’m like.. Shit! Gotta doodle. No, I find inspiration everywhere. Sometimes it’s just a particular mood I’m in, sometimes I’ll see a net curtain blowing a particular way in a breeze and design an entire dress from how it falls. Sometimes I’ll see a colour that I’ll want to make an entire wardrobe out of. I’ve been painting a lot recently, not designs just.. things I like and I’ve been able to work from those. Gross, I know but yeah. Inspiration is everywhere. Disgusting. Unacceptable. I refuse to be inspired again that was too mushy.”

23:37

The boys were a giggly mess. Almost everything bringing them to hysterics even if it was just something said with the smallest hint of sarcasm, they were grabbing onto the couch and each other’s arms for support as they hiccuped their way through another bout of laughter. “Anyway! Next question is top 5 celebrity chefs. Mine of course is Joonbug and that’s it. Wait, no that dude from that thing we saw in England. Gordon’s friend.” “Oh! With the road trip?” “Yeah, the really funny one.” “I loved that. Mine is obviously Chef Ramsay, Remy.. Gotta give my boy a shout out. Chef Baek Jong-won. Oh! The um.. I discovered that dude during fashion week in London that time. The sciencey one. Hus.. Hes..? I don’t remember his actual name but he made some amazing things. I was in awe. I’m also throwing in whoever invented bulgogi. That’s my top five. I actually met Chef Ramsay recently!” “You did! You called me after. How was it meeting your hero?” “Oh, I cried. Like a big baby. Ugly sobbing and lots of I love yous in the middle of a cupcake shop.” “Classic Minjoon behaviour.” “He signed my T-shirt and I cried some more. I would have proposed through my tears but I was crying too much. Like the shaky inhale, full on breakdown kind of crying? I can’t even be embarrassed because he still talked to me.” “You’re a baby!” “I am a baby! 달콤한 아기. That’s what my eomma and momma call me and then they pinch my cheekies.” “Cute! Ooh! How does it feel.. no, fuck. That’s not.. shut your face. I can read. How does performing feel on stage versus cooking on camera? How did it feel being on stage?” “I refuse to acknowledge what that means. Stage? What stage?” “They’re talking about your big, gay musical re-enactment of your love for me.” “I wish I could use memes like in real life? Just the I do not see meme but my face. Honestly though? It’s different because I can cook. This mess obviously doesn’t count but I can edit everything I post and I know what I’m doing? I’m confident when I’m cooking. I know what I can and can’t do. Being on stage was just.. I was terrified. It was terrifying. I had fun though and I did work hard. Like.. I decided last minute and I had to learn choreo and remember lyrics to things I wrote years ago. I was scared I’d trip up and face plant the whole time. Like the entire time. I wanted to be included though and I couldn’t go to the festival because it was terrifying being around so many people. I just kind of listened from the side lines but it sounded good and you said you had lots of fun being up there.” “I did. You know me though. I’m that one line from that Mike Posner song about needing everyone’s eyes just to feel seen.” “Woah. Hashtag deep.” “Oh my god. You’re ridiculous.” “I did need the entire weekend to recover though. It’s.. it’s a lot to open yourself up like that.” “You mean serenading the town with love songs about me?” “You suck so bad.” “Is that how you talk to the former love of your life?” Minjoon snorted, slapping at Brandon’s arm. “You were so in love with me. It’s my greatest achievement, you know? I put it on my resume under my skills. Has given Minjoon boners.” The reaction was instant, Brandon’s loud laugh failing to cover Joonie’s shriek that soon turned into a laugh but even his amusement couldn’t mask how red he’d gotten. “No! I hate it here! You suck so bad! So bad! I can never show my face in public or make eye contact with another human being ever again!” “It’s a good job I put the age restriction thingy on this stream. I knew I’d be a fucking menace after the second drink.” “You’re not a menace! You’re a gremlin! God, end the stream before you really do end my YouTube career. Goodbye everyone! I’m gonna go eat my body weight in pizza and become a cave hermit.” “Bye little Joonie fans! Sorry about the.. Fuck it, I’m not sorry about anything. Peace out, bitches!”

#thanks for sending in questions #anon;; #Para: ft. Brandon

[violetwolfraven]

Pass Out

38 for sprace—requested by @just-a-gay-meme

I’m injured and I came to you because I didn’t want to tell my mom/Jack/whoever.

((So I guess this would be canon era, pre-strike when Race was selling at Sheepshead, so he and Spot did know each other, but they aren’t really even friends yet. It’s not the same universe as the one fic I’ve written with her in it, but it includes one of my ocs. Don’t worry, you didn’t forget about her. Bluebird just isn’t canon.))

...

Race would normally not be confused by the fact that he was waking up in a Lodging House, but today, he had an excuse, because he was waking up in the Brooklyn Lodging House.

“Well, well, well,” a voice said, and Race jumped, “He lives.”

There was a little girl sitting by his bed, holding a bowl and a wet washcloth that was suspiciously red, and Race didn’t think it was because that was Brooklyn’s territory color.

And Race was only 15, but this girl couldn’t be any older than maybe 10, so he got to call her a little girl, even though, as was visible because she was wearing one of Brooklyn’s signature red tanktops, she was probably stronger than he was. She had features kind of similar to Romeo, with black hair and brown eyes, so Race guessed she was Asian, or at least one of her parents was.

“What the fuck?” Race mumbled under his breath.

“Oh, no,” the little girl said, sounding genuinely concerned, “How hard did you get hit? How many fingers am I holding up?”

“Three,” Race said, because she clearly was.

“Hmm...” the little girl tilted her head as she put her hand down, “Do ya remember how you got here?”

“Brooklyn Lodging House? No. Got no clue. What the fuck am I doin’ here?”

“You got your ass kicked,” the little girl said flatly, “At least, I think ya did. You kinda just showed up, asked for help, and passed out. That was two hours ago.”

“Thanks,” Race said, “Um... what was your name again?”

“Bluebird. Ya didn’t know it in the first place. You’re Racetrack Higgins, right? The ‘Hattan boy Spot lets sell at Sheepshead?”

Race shrugged sitting up halfway and leaning back on his elbows, “The one and only.”

Bluebird wrinkled her nose, “No wonder ya got your ass kicked. All you Manhattan boys can’t fight to save your lives.”

“Hey!”

“It’s true! Manhattan’s probably the—“

“Blue.”

Bluebird looked at the floor as Spot called to her from the doorway.

Race sat up all the way as Brooklyn’s King walked over, putting his hand on the little girl’s shoulder.

“What did we say ‘bout antagonizin’ people for no reason?” Spot asked.

“To not to,” Bluebird mumbled.

“You’s a big girl, now, right, Blue? Your cute factor ain’t gonna get you out of fights much longer. Ya gotta learn not to pick fights you can’t win.”

“Bet I could win against him.”

Race laughed, “She’s probably right.”

“Maybe,” Spot reasoned, “But, Blue, appearances can be deceivin’. Race, here, happens to be really good at makin’ friends. Which means he has friends in every borough, this one included. Half the Newsies of New York’d go to war to defend him, so in short, Racetrack Higgins is either a good friend to have or a bad enemy. Take your pick.”

Bluebird snuck a glance at Race, “I’d rather be friends.”

Race smiled, “I’d rather be friends with you, too, kid.”

She smiled at him, and Race didn’t at all see what Spot meant. She wasn’t losing her cute factor. She probably wouldn’t for a couple more years.

“Run along, Bluebird,” Spot said, “I think Hotshot’s waitin’ for ya.”

“I’m sellin’ with Rafaela today!”

“Raf’s... busy. Go find Hotshot.”

“Okay!”

Bluebird hiked up her skirt to run faster, and Race laughed.

“So, I’m guessin’ I know what you meant by busy?”

Spot shrugged, “Yeah, she’s got a sweetheart, but I don’t know who it is. I’m pretty sure it’s either York or Joey, but Raf ain’t the talkative type, so I don’t know which. She asked me to watch Blue this afternoon, but I don’t need a little frontin’ for me.”

“And Hotshot does?”

“He’s an intimidatin’ lookin’ kid. He probably don’t need her, but with winter comin’ up, I’d rather be safe.”

Race nodded, then winced as that hurt, “That makes sense.”

Spot stood there silently for a couple seconds, then asked.

“So, what happened?”

Race shrugged, “Wish I knew. Thinkin’ back, it’s all kind of fuzzy.”

“There’s been some thugs ‘round Brooklyn lately, thinkin’ it’s funny to beat up on workin’ kids,” Spot muttered, “They targeted my kids at first, but learned to avoid us when we soaked them instead. I probably should have sent someone over to warn ya. Bluebird’s right. Only one of you Manhattan boys who can fight good is Cowboy.”

Race decided to ignore that last comment, “I don’t think I got soaked.”

“Hmm. You’re probably right. It’s just the one head wound, right? Nothin’ else hurts?”

Race shrugged, “It hurts to breathe a little, but...”

He looked down his own shirt to check.

“Not that many bruises.”

“I should check for broken ribs, anyway.”

Race honestly didn’t know what to think as Spot Conlon, the King of Brooklyn, sat down on the edge of the bed Race was still sitting on, putting up one hand.

“Can I? I know what I’m doin’.”

“I’m sure ya do,” Race admitted, knowing Brooklyn’s reputation for getting in fights with local gangs, other boroughs, even each other.

Of course, his mind was hyper-focused on the fact that Spot wasn’t known for being friendly, and he also happened to be less than a year older than Race.

He was kind of attractive. If Race was the type to go for badasses, he would be very flustered right now, which... he wasn’t. He totally wasn’t even a little flustered by this.

In the end, Race nodded, “You can check, but I’m pretty sure nothin’s broken.”

“Okay. Tell me what hurts.”

Spot gently put his hand against Race’s lower ribs, slowly increasing pressure before moving up, then checking the other side. And sure, it twinged in some places, but nothing hurt enough to actually be broken.

“Why’re you helpin’ me?” Race asked as Spot finished up.

The other boy shrugged, “Ya ain’t one of mine, Higgins, but you sell in Brooklyn. That makes ya at least partly my responsibility.”

Race wanted to protest that—he was one of Jack’s seconds, for fuck’s sake—but Spot was still talking.

“Also, that head wound wasn’t so bad that ya forgot what borough you’re from. If you really wanted to go back to ‘Hattan, you at least would’ve tried. Probably gotten run over on the way, but you’d have tried. Ya came here. Judgin’ by what little I know... you’s close with Kelly, right?”

Race nodded, “He’s like a big brother to me.”

Spot shrugged, “There ya go. Winter’s rough on every leader who actually cares about their kids, and it’s comin’ up fast. Jackie Boy’s probably stressed enough as it is, makin’ sure everyone sells as much as they can before it gets really hard, and ya didn’t want to worry him. So, you came here instead of goin’ home.”

Honestly, that sounded about right. Race still didn’t remember everything, but not going home when hurt so as not to worry Jack sounded like something he’d do.

“Well, that explains what I’m doin’ here,” he admitted, “But it doesn’t explain why ya actually helped.”

“Like I said, you’s partially my responsibility.”

“Bullshit. I’m Manhattan and you know it. Hell, I’m second in command along with Crutchie. Ya didn’t have to help me beyond makin’ sure I don’t die on your doorstep, so why? Do ya just want me to owe you a favor?”

Spot shrugged, not looking Race in the eye, “I might collect a favor later, but that ain’t why I did it.”

“Then why?”

They locked eyes, and Race could see that he was being completely serious.

“Genuinely nice people are few and far between. Bluebird ain’t the only one who’d like to be friends with you.”

Race smiled, “Well, if ya wanted to be friends, you could’ve just said so. I’m always open to new friends.”

Spot snorted, “One of these days, that’s gonna get ya killed.”

“Possibly... but I should probably be gettin’ back to Manhattan. Before I do, I have one question to ask you.”

“What?”

Race pointed vaguely at a throbbing area just above his temple, not wanting to actually touch it.

“How bad is it?”

“Your hair covers it, mostly, and Blue cleaned off the blood. It ain’t super noticeable, so if you avoid Cowboy for a bit to give it time to heal, he probably won’t have to find out.”

“Okay, great. Thanks, I guess. Thank Bluebird for me.”

“I will.”

Spot stayed close as Race stood up, probably expecting to have to catch him.

Race didn’t actually feel that bad. His head hurt, sure, but he didn’t feel like he was going to pass out anymore.

“I usually hang out under the stands when I take a break from sellin’,” he said, “If ya ever wanna... hang out, or whatever, come find me.”

Spot nodded, “Yeah. Sure. Maybe I will.”

Honestly, given that Spot Conlon was known for being hostile to pretty much everyone outside of Brooklyn, Race hadn’t expected to ever be able to befriend him. He was friendly on the rare occasion they saw each other, but he’d always seen Spot as kind of cold and distant.

Maybe it was just being in his own Lodging House—home turf—that made him drop his guard a little.

Whatever the case, Race couldn’t deny that a part of him was thinking about how if he could be friends with Spot Conlon, maybe he could slowly get closer and maybe even be more someday, but—

But this was a thought train for another day.

Well, this should be interesting.

#newsies #sprace #spot conlon #racetrack higgins #race x spot #violet’s writing

[parknerficrecs]

Fluff/Light-hearted Parkner

Hey guys! To start off, here’s a list of some of our favorite fluff pieces. Good, old-fashioned, heart-warming fanfic to put a smile on your face. Let us know what kind of lists you’d like coming forward ;)

Please make sure you pay attention to tags, and don’t forget to leave kudos and comments!

Fell From the Sky Into My Lap

Harley Keener fears a lot of things. Loving Peter Parker isn’t one of them.

My Face is Just My Face 

“Gonna fix me up all nice and good, Madam Pomfrey?” Harley grinned up at Peter, who was fixing a bowl of water and a washcloth.

“Wish I was Madam Pomfrey. Maybe I could make a potion that would finally shut you up.”

Let's Get Lost

Harley realizes he misses Peter. This totally doesn't lead him to doing impulsive things out of the blue. Like following Peter to Tokyo because Peter has important SI business to attend to and Harley misses him. Nope. Not at all.

Still Learning How to Bend

“Hey, cutie patootie,” Harley said, giving Peter’s backside a smack as he zipped up his jeans. Peter beamed up at him as he headed over to his own dresser to put on a different outfit, a tank top and a pair of black jeans.

“Handsy today,” Peter said, flopping down onto their bed. He thought about making it, but he hated making their bed. It felt wrong.

“I’m not going to get a lot of freedom to touch ya this weekend,” Harley said, shutting his dresser drawer. “Taking advantage of it now.”

“You want to really take advantage of it?” Peter asked, raising a brow. Harley grinned at him, striding over to the bed and climbing up on it until he could take Peter’s face in his hands and lean closer and-

“I feel I should warn you that Mrs. Stark and Miss Morgan are on their way up in the elevator.”

Peter sighed.

Chocolate Thief

Peter steals Harley’s Hershey bar, and Harley steals it back…

A short drabble.

Worth It

Harley has fluffy hair, and Peter wants to touch it. Maybe it will be the start of something new?

Baby, Look What You've Done to Me

Harley was set in his mind. He wouldn't be pursuing anything with Peter. Yeah, maybe some mildly flirting here and there that honestly went over Peter's head because he was too shy and innocent for his own good, but that was about it.

Until Harley saw Peter wearing one of his sweaters that was basically swallowing Peter's small frame.

Or: Peter wears Harley's sweater and he loses it.

Don't Stop Me Now

A domestic, Queen filled morning starring the best boyfriends. 

Truth or Dare

"I dare you to go and stand in the closet with Harley and you can't come out until I say so"

"MJ what kind of dare is that"

"A good one"

or

The fic where MJ and Shuri force Peter and Harley to confess their feelings for each other because they are getting tired of them dancing around each other.

how novel is a novel that can fit in one sheet

A collection of short drabbles based on quotes from Incorrect Overwatch Quotations, but spun up to be Parkner.

Chapter 1: "I said, if you die I won't miss you."

Chapter 2: "If you ever eat my leftovers again, I will destroy you."

Chapter 3: "This date is so boring."

Chapter 4: "So you and Harley don't have any pet names, huh?"

Chapter 5: "And how do you take your coffee?" (Coffee Shop/Uni AU)

Chapter 6: "I just walked downstairs wearing a “say ‘hey’ if you’re gay” t-shirt and Iron Man boxers. We had 8 people over. They saw."

Chapter 7: "Did it hurt when you fell?"

Day Four (Parkner Week)

Harley and Peter are studying for their senior finals when Harley decides he needs to be completely direct with his feelings. Except Harley thinks direct is complimenting Peter's ass with a meme. Peter, speaking Harley Keener language, completely understands. Smut ensues.

here comes the sun

Peter hates getting up in the morning, and Harley comes up with his own creative methods to wake the smaller boy.

or, cuddly boyfriends who can't stop being so damn cute even in the ungodly hours of the morning

life happens; coffee helps

“Um, name for the-for the order?”

“Harley,” he answers. “Name for the barista?”

Peter hands the card back, praying that his heartbeat can’t be heard by the other boy. “Peter.”

The smirk turns to a wide smile, and Peter falls in love. 

Or, the coffee shop AU nobody asked for.

When the Coffee Grounds Align

Peter's been visiting a coffee shop rather regularly over the past few months, trying to build up the courage to ask the stunningly attractive barista named Harley who works in there on a date at some point.

Then Tony asks to tag along and get a look at the guy, and as it turns out, they're all a little more connected than Peter previously thought.

Feels

Harley Keener really likes Peter, but he doesn’t think it’ll work out... or will it?

Or: Harley is having a sexuality crisis.

my love, my love, my love

There were days where they settled for a breakfast burrito or muffin to munch on before classes, so Harley treasures these opportunities for an actual, home-cooked breakfast close to his heart.

Or: Harley makes breakfast for Peter.

One Hell Of A Distraction

Look, Harley didn't plan for any of this.

He didn't plan for Peter grab him in the middle of the street, his eyes wide with panic, saying some random thugs were chasing after him. He didn't plan to offer to help Peter hide in plain sight however he needed.

And he certainly didn't plan for the way Peter was suddenly pulling Harley so very close.

(And he definitely didn't plan to enjoy the, uh... distraction quite so much.)

You, It’s Always Been You

Harley is the attractive, charismatic captain of the lacrosse team while Peter does academic decathlon in his free time. They're friends and fellow interns. After two long years spent watching Harley date a revolving door of people, can Peter finally convince him that what he's looking for has been here the whole time?

Loosely inspired by Taylor Swift’s You Belong with Me (so you all know where this is going).

Kiss me if I'm wrong, but dinosaurs still exist right?

"Do your legs hurt from running through my mind all night?"

Peter blinked up from his mug of coffee "Morning Harley."

"You must do interior design because you definitely made this room more beautiful."

"I suck at interior design." Peter replied before taking a sip of his coffee.

Or Harley tries to embarrass Peter with pick-up lines. It doesn't go the way he thought it would.

(Part of a series but can be read as a One shot)

Mama

"Mama, can I? Pleassee? Can I?" Mai asked hopefully as she hopped up and down excitedly.

Peter froze. Did-did she just-

"I'm sorry, can you repeat that?"

Mai looked slightly confused but repeated herself "I asked if I could hold the monkey? Please Mama? I'll be careful.” -- OR It was one thing to get a mother's day card and a totally other thing to hear it said out loud in public. (Part of a series)

#parkner #parkner fic rec #fic rec #harley keener #peter parker #harley keener x peter parker

[ilguna]

i also have a list of shit my history teacher (this year) has said and done so I will share it with you:

warning: its really fucking long bc he would say/do shit MULTIPLE times a day

goes onto the next slide, “it’s a meme, get it?” proceeds to explain the meme (its the hey arnold meme with the first)

also goes onto another slide, with the twitter opinion meme. at the end of the paragraph it says “this class smacks, I’m lit”

“I’m going to beat up your brother. i am going to pummel him.”

On the 6th day of class he finally realized that there was a total of 6 guys and the rest were girls

student: “You should not put it in (as an assingment)”. teacher; “laugh out loud, im dead”

he was teaching us how to write a DBQ, the computer had a pop up saying that the battery was low, and then a spider shows up out of fucking nowhere, hanging from the ceiling. he CLAPS it, jokes about eating it, and then sets it on his desk (not in the trash can 2 feet away) so he can “deal with it later”

his endless military stories, specifically ORANGE DESERT

he wrote “if you would have had your thinking skull on” on my first DBQ

him saying “I hate this” after typing a word wrong multiple times while teaching us DBQ’s lmfao

“For the lols”

Threw a box of tissues across the room into the trash can

threw a box of tissues at a student

he had this obsession with throwing expo markers at his whiteboard, trying to make it land on the metal part so expect that a lot.

“Do you want me to drown him in a bathtub?” (which was about a student’s dog that had separation anxiety lmaoo)

Sang the rain drop, drop top song

The collars on his shirt turned up

“He’ll be beaten for that distraction” (after his son called him during his lesson and he willingly answered)

“Stay woke” 

“It was a hot boy summer for him”

expo marker landed on the metal thing for once thanks to a towel that was there

kyle (it must have been a story or something i dont remember)

He woah’d at some point

HAHA so there was a kid in my class that had got caught with a bong on the second week of school and he was suspended. when he came back to class, we were going over what the south grew in the U.S. very early on into colonization. and he used the bong kid as an example of a tobacco farmer

tried to eat a balled up paper

“important revolutionary war stuff”

“My bae, George Washington”

“They could’ve killed g-dubz, but they didn’t”

called george washington “g-dubz” frequiently

“Facts”

“Swagtastic”

he got excited over a military general (baron friedrich von steuben) for being a gay military general--”That was very well respected!”

“He had a ton of swagger”--referring to ben franklin

“His nickname was the swamp fox. You guys can call me that”

The snowball fight story--his brother was friends with a kid he hated next door. my teacher challenged the kid--Eric--to a snowball fight. In preparation, my teacher had froze snowballs, and so when he did have the fight, he LITERALLY knocked Eric out and left him on the front lawn unconscious (he was an elementary school kid)

one time he gave us the punishment quiz by accident, tried to make up for it by giving everyone the answer to #6. however, it turned out to be wrong so he just gave us all 100′s instead

another military story of the goat he bought from an old man with his buddies. unfortunately they had to kill the goat to eat, but the FACT that my teacher said this “a cute little goat--you know, baaa?” as if we didn’t know what a goat was 

He was the golf/hockey coach!! so not only would he talk about beating up the kids in the golf club

he would also do random golf swings all the goddamn time! with no gold club or ball, it was just air.

“You are about to get clowned, young lady”

pronounced pamphlet as pamplet fora good part of his teaching career (another story he told us)

“It’s definitely not the declaration of independence you mouth breather!”

George washington = bae on a powerpoint

“you tied me up real good”

“France also popped off”

Compares the Connecticut compromise to ppap (with the song and everything!)

Told someone to shut up after they suggested that Iowa was the least populated state (he’s from Iowa)

hick iowa, to be exact

Wrote 23 as 32, realized his mistake and said “oop im dyslexic”

“If it’s a purge, I’m killing everybody”

“Federalism, not onion!’

“Who’s the dumbass guy? Ducey!” (our state governor)

he got arrested once. his mugshot is on google images and everything

he got arrested bc some guy was destroying his house w a baseball bat at a party his friendw as throwing (but it was at my teachers house). my teacher respectfully punched him and brought him to the front lawn. called the cops when the guy wouldnt leave and ended up being arrested too. teacher thought his career was over and threatened the guy the entire way to the police station

“laugh out loud!”

“We beat the begeezus out of a bunch of british people”

pronounced wolf as woof

“Who was his daddy? Who’s his daddy?”

Called a swim cap a bonnet

“Kick!”--then proceeds to kick a tennis ball. before that he had just thrown it to get out of his way

“Jesus, you’re a big boy”

for like 2 weeks straight he used that same tennis ball to try and erase a whiteboard. and im not talking rubbing it on the board, he fucking threw it at the wall, getting it off little by little. he eventually gave up, though

“I’ll snot rocket into the trash can”

“Cause I realize most of you are morons”

was obsessed with the cowboy boogie

“Every time I cough, my tail bone hurts”

“Do i look normal?”

“I look like an old man”

“Shut up your faces”

“I see you back there, queen”

“Some of you girls need to learn from this article”--the article was old & about girls being submissive

“that would hurt some people’s feelings, but I’m not gonna show it hurt mine”

“He’s just--’meow’”--about his cat

he had a sweater that had his face on it, photoshopped over a boxer that a student gave him. he wore it during winter

flicked a tennis ball across the room with a hockey stick. hit the coffee thermo on his desk, stared for a couple of seconds, and THEN realized that it was open

First off, all you kids making memes about dodging the draft--we don’t want your dumbasses anyway” --continued to rant for a few minutes after that

he HATED the national anthem with a burning passion

“I’m old as shit”

also, his cat’s name IS meow cat

more expo marker throwing

“Hey there handsome”-- to the teacher next door

“Henry clay is going to haunt you until april” (unfortunately we didnt make it that far into the school year bc of covid. disappointed that i didnt get to be haunted)

Singing electric avenue

“but here’s the tea”

“Flagstaff is like--” *reaches as high as he can to put expo marker on the wall

“I’m adopting all of you, and we’re moving to saudi arabia”

teacher: “I’m gonna break bowers kneecaps in front of you. you still want to be on strike?” not bowers but a different kid: “no...?”

Cleaned the shades in the middle of him explaining something

“You know your pinky toe? this little roast beef?”

THE TURTLE SOUP STORY. when my teacher was still a kid, he found a turtle in the wild, and brought it to his grandparents house (they owned a farm). he took care of the turtle for a while, even after his grandfather found out. until one day he came home and saw blood everywhere, went to find the turtle to see it was gone. then found his grandfather chopping up the fucking turtle so they could have it for soup for dinner. his grandfather literally made him fatten up the turtle so they could eat it

“Did mr.*****--?” (referring to himself in 3rd person, also blocked out to protect privacy)

“i’m going to staple your nostrils closed. staple, staple. ‘I can’t breathe mr.*****!’ should’ve done your DBQ!!”

his pedo stache 

stood with a paper and smiled, thinking that a student was taking a picture of him when it was really the paper

doesn’t know who gaston is???

him: “I’m going to staple your noses together. One staple” Student: “*****’s piercing parlor!”

*singing* “beauty and the beast”

“I’m going to tackle you”

more random golf swinging

“What’s up (my name)?” me: hi *he then hits the bun on the top of my head on his way in the door*

And he did it again the next day

he literally made kids compete with pastries

which reminds me, he brought donuts in 2 days in a row like a week after that and make us (his first hour) take bites bc he realized he didn’t want to eat it. one of the girls was glad to take it from him, everyone else told him no

“Good morning (my name) how are you?” me: “I’m sick again... do you need help? (with the door)” him; “Actually, yes” (normally he can open the door even when his hands are full but there was a stack of pop tart boxes that were as tall as him so) i opened the door, he goes in and says, “thank you (my name), for not being rude”

the following quotes are for the Hot Seat

Student: “what do you do--?” him: “you’re in the hot seat!”

“Some people cry”

“La *****, luxurious”

“You sit here, and you stare (into the projector light)”

basically everyone in the class had to answer a question as a review. there was a stool in front of the smartboard, perfectly placed so that the projector light would LITERALLy be in your eyes. i actually got the question right on some miracle.

“2 points of weed?”

“Can I get some of that hot leaf?”

“They will make more drugs! You can’t do that much drug!”

“You guys bullied me and stole it”

“Whole rest of the nation sucked an egg”

“Whelp, let’s just kill myself”

“Do you guys know david chapel?” *sigh when everyone says no*

*some girls singing the national anthem* Him: “no! none of this, none of this!”

“Calibri’s for idiots” (the font)

“The only thing that was in--shit”

“and uncle sam--gettin lit”

“Their daddy--UH--”

“They’re going to blame the jews--my people” (he got a dna test done, he’s not actually jewish)

“Whatever you say, boomer”

“Use my words to plagiarize in college”

“I’m jewish, that’s offensive”

“Tell him he gave me instant cancer”

Me: “can i go to the bathroom?” him: “I’ll allow it”

him: “He’s antisemetic and it hurts my feelings” student: “what does that mean again?” him: “Hates jews :(”

“You guys can call me kingfish if you’d like”

~ after we said no to the nicknames, we tried to make one for him ~

student: “cornhusker!” him: “no, that’s offensive... and it’s also nebraska”

student: “corn picker!” him: “no--that sounds like a racist term or something”

“Unless corona really does take over--” (thank u, mr. for ruining the school year”

Student: “how old was she (his mom) when she had you?” him: “thirteen”

“My mom just turned 40 the other day...” (a joke)

him: “My brother got t-boned by a semi truck last night” Student: “Why are you laughing?” him: “Because he lived.”

“Yeah bc I would hide out in a public school with 300 new kids a year” (about him not living in iowa so he’s hiding out in az to get away from his “criminal record” (refer to the 1 time hes been arrested))

“Baby death?”

“Their family has more money than jesus”

*Standing outside the door yelling “CORONA” to students walking in”

“Hey I’m *****, f-word, blah, blah”

“We should fight our cats.”

“OH that’s a big chonk cat.”

“Mortal Kombat is pretty cool. I haven’t played in 25 years”

he told us in class once that we shouldnt open the front door if cops show up at a party. just to shut the blinds and be a little quieter bc the cops cant legally open the door

also one time he had a gun pointed to his face but he never finished that story bc he never liked it

during quarantine he set a DBQ as 1000 points (and i still didnt do it)

and “Here’s the tea, kiddos!”

honorable mentions: all the time he’s sent out emails bc theyre fucking hilarious

#ilguna #high school #gen z

[kinetic-elaboration]

September 18: 1x15 Shore Leave

Shore Leave tonight! Because I need it. I had a lot of thoughts on this because it’s so ridiculous and wonderful.

That planet looks like a giant green screen. Which is appropriate.

I could watch this back rub scene on a loop all day. Fellas, is it gay to want your First Officer to really dig it in there?

Captain going to his quarters to work from home today.

Oh-ho, what is this, the little seen Sulu & McCoy dynamic.

Plant nerd Sulu wants information on all the greenery.

That rabbit is so great. Fun fact I had an LJ icon with that rabbit back in the day.

Honestly this is such a great concept for an episode. Like I don’t have any really deep notes or feelings about it but both as a sci fi idea (a very high-tech ‘amusement planet’ that uses unseen machines that can read your thoughts to manufacture delightful things for you) and an entertaining yarn, it’s so good. I also think the characters are really on point.

It’s so good that Theodore Sturgeon could put that back rub scene in there and no one even noticed.

“Stardate.... something.....uh, point three.” I laughed, I really did. Stardates do not and never have made sense and I like that even Kirk is so tired at this point he’s like “yeah whatever.” Mood, Sir.

Kirk is canonically a workaholic. He’s the kind of guy who checks his email on vacation. Who answers emails at 11pm. With his husband next to him like to rest is to rest jim!!!

“On my planet, to rest is to rest.”

Kirk thinks he’s so cute. He’s looking really handsome today himself, but Kirk always looks at his best when he’s got his heart eyes face on.

“A crewman’s rights end where the ship’s safety begins.” We need that on a poster today in 2020 for Reasons.

Love how unamused Kirk is and how amused Spock is. Ya got played, son!

Oh, look, it’s a random gun. Too bad Chekov’s not here to claim it. (He’d love this planet btw.)

YFIP: Captain Kirk. Cancels shore leave mere minutes before it’s supposed to start.

Gunshots!! Sulu found the gun! And he’s so excited! And then Kirk takes it away like the Mean Dad he is.

One thing I wonder about this planet is at what point do the objects, people, etc. cease to exist. Do they just eventually wander back to the trapdoors and.... get recycled? Do they have this built in? Is that not... weird? Rosencrantz and Guildenstern: Shore Leave. And do the inanimate objects have to be returned?

I love this Kirk Academy back story and we were robbed--ROBBED--of it in AOS, fight me on this. “I was downright grim.” Bullied by an upperclassman?? Who liked playing dumbass pranks?? Sounds like enemies to lovers, slowburn, 20k, to me.

Love how absolutely deranged Finnegan is though.

Yeoman Barrows’ rape fantasy.

Kirk stops to a pick a flower! To romantic music!! He is so soft and I love him byeeeeeeeee.

And then the flower reminds him of his Academy girlfriend Ruth. Who is uh obviously played by a woman in her 30s and yet hasn’t aged a day in 15 years so 19 year old Kirk with an older lady y/y?

Love his confused face while she’s kissing him though.

He’s so dazed as he calls McCoy and then just kinda... gives up lol.

Bones, too busy flirting to remember the white rabbit he’s supposed to be chasing. Don’t say “a whole army of Don Juans”!!!

His eyeshadow is also on point today. He’s so shameless, trying to not-quite-watch her as she changes into the Princess Costume. No one ever remembers how flirty McCoy is but he IS.

Oh look, a big kitty!!! Very beautiful and nice.

Sulu lol, just casually thinking of samurai. Bet he wishes he still had that gun now.

Spock having a hard time beaming down reminds me of that meme “Now I will always be a child of two worlds.”

Spock’s thought process is hilarious. “Our transporters were about to stop working so I thought, hey, how about I strand myself too--just to be with you, Jim.”

McCoy and Barrows holding hands.

They’re supposed to spread out but Kirk and Spock go together obviously.

Oh no, the knight! I’m sure Kirk told Spock not to shoot bc he knew his phaser didn’t work but it still looks like ‘I got this baby.’

There’s no one to say “He’s dead Jim.” :(

Barrows shouldn’t feel guilty; it was Bones’s fault for conjuring the knight in the first place by saying the word “knight.”

Lol can’t Sulu run the tricorder? Like the obviousness with which they switch out Sulu and Spock so K and S can have their moment is... Something.

“Are you saying that this is a plant, Mr. Spock?”

Lol just poking the dummy in the face.

“Funny air vehicles.” Don’t have planes in the 24th century I guess?

Don’t say strafing run!!

When Kirk thinks of the Academy, he thinks of Finnegan first apparently. And now begins an incredibly long fight sequence. I actually like the TOS fights in general quite a bit because they’re SO choreographed. So for me they are more fun than fights now, which are such a mess I don’t even know what I’m looking at. But even so--this one is VERY long.

And VERY homoerotic.

“Jim baby.” “Sweet Jimmy boy.” Resting on top of that cliff in a ‘draw me like one of your French girls’ pose. Kirk’s shirt just like.... REALLY randomly ripping right the hell off.

“You couldn’t find your head with both hands.” ???

I love this Irish tune. Apparently this was the first ep this composer worked for and I think he did a really good job all around! I rarely notice music but I did in this one and always in a good way.

Spock’s makeup is great as usual. He and Kirk are on the same expository wavelength.

Spock, don’t say the word “tiger”! You can clearly see it is on a leash lol. Lots of gratuitous touching as Kirk and Spock run away. My mom and I agree that Spock liked the tiger, though. He does like cats and big animals like iChaya.

All the crewman line up except for Angela. Really dropping the ball there.

Love how the amusement park manager shows up just after Kirk told everyone not to think about anything. “Okay, who imagined the man in green robes?”

Spock’s posture and expression.... so good. He clearly loves the idea of an amusement park, and, given that he describes it as a place with “many fascinating things” to do/see, I think he would, canonically, love it.

“The more complex the mind, the greater need for the simplicity of play.”

 THE MUSIC WHEN MCCOY SHOWS UP WITH THE GIRLS OMG.

He’s such a slut. One whole love interest plus TWO imaginary showgirls? Tone it down Mister.

I can’t believe one of the girls goes to Spock. He’s like “What do I do with this?” Then hands her off to Sulu because Rodriguez is already helping Angela move on from her dead husband. So now Sulu gets two ladies.

Spock doesn’t need any more shore leave, because he got to spend some time with Kirk, solve a mystery, and see a tiger. That’s all the fun he needs!

The last scene was pretty unnecessary (except that I guess without it, it kinda looks like Kirk is just...leaving the Enterprise for his old girlfriend lol) but at least we get the awkward implication that Kirk, McCoy, and Sulu had a lot of sex, and some random fake laughter.

(Sulu absolutely canonically had a threesome.)

Next up is the Galileo Seven, a Classic TM Spock (and Spock & McCoy) episode.

#the year 2020 #2020: star trek #2020: fandom thoughts #star trek tos

[dimples-of-discontent]

My Cockles Crack Masterpost:

Hello, yes, did any of you need a little pick-me-up? I know I do. So I’ve collected for you all most of the Cockles crack that I’ve written. I left off collaborative pieces of crack and ones attached to long gifsets. But all the text posts (especially “Jensen vs. Jensen’s brain”) are all there. I’ll drop a cut somewhere since this baby is long but I hope you all enjoy. 

LONG LIVE TEAM DUMPSTER MANSION!!! 

Dabb: So, let’s have AU Cas.

SPN writers: Cool. Why don’t we ask Misha to do one of his accents?

Jensen: *flings door open* *pants* AM I TOO LATE?! DID I MISS IT?!

BONUS alternative by @postmodernmulticoloredcloak​:

Dabb: So, let’s have AU Cas.

Everyone: …

Jensen: *starts vibrating at a very high frequency*

Misha: …okay I’ll do an accent

Isn’t it so weird that none of Jensen’s kids look like Misha?

Jensen is CONSTANTLY hosting his own episodes of Queer Eye and every one is about Misha.

[Below the cut]

Jensen: *looks up suddenly and stares into the middle distance* *vibrates at a high frequency*

Danneel: What is it, babe?

Jensen: Somewhere…Misha is doing an accent. Badly. He’s doing it badly, but he’s still doing it.

Danneel: You’ve gotta go!

Jensen: You’re right, I’ve gotta go!

Somewhere in Austin a high-pitched whistle blows.

Jensen, holding his ears and running into the kitchen: Alright, alright! What?!

Danneel, points wordlessly at laptop screen where this is displayed.

Jensen: Oh no.

Danneel, accusatory: I thought you HID those!

Jensen: I did! *pause* Why would he look in my dirty laundry anyway?

*Danneel stares*

Jensen: Oh right. I guess he needed something to wear.

Danneel: Pretty dumb, babe.

Jensen: Hmmm…yeah. *pause, then, hopeful* I guess we couldn’t fly to Hawaii to get them, right? *pause* No, no of course not. *mumbles* Damn shorts.

Text convo, probably:

Jensen: mish miss you. send me a pic.

Misha: *photo of something random like an interesting leaf*

Jensen: no, i mean like i MISS you miss you. send a pic of you.

Misha: *photo of his foot*

Jensen: oh for fuck’s sake! *posts flex meme and tags misha in it*

Jensen: there now it’s public you have to do it. and you can fuck off.

Misha: *sends dick pic*

Me: god Misha has the perfect jawline. Not that it matters.

Lizard brain: lick it

Me: yes, yes if I actually had a real relationship with him that would be well and good but…

Lizard brain: LICKIT

Me: yes, yes I heard you but what’s crucial is that Misha is one of the very best humans out there not that he has the stubbled and chiseled jawline of a Greek god so I really think we should focus on…

Jensen (in the distance): oh my God! it doesn’t have to be a choice, dummy!! L I CK IT!!

Jensen’s brain: It’s Misha’s birthday. We love Misha. Say it.

Jensen: No. We are in public. I am just going to call him “the man” and post a cute pic of us in matching outfits.

Jensen’s brain: NOOOOOO…SAYITSAYITSAYITWELOVEHIMSAYIT

Jensen: God fine ok…but I’m using an emoji not words.

Jensen’s brain: Acceptable.

Jensen: And also I’m going to add “bro”.

Jensen’s brain: …. 😒

Jensen: So now no one will ever know.

Jensen’s brain: 🙄

(About this mess right here)

Jensen’s brain: hold his hand

Jensen: NO it will look gay!

Jensen’s brain: but…you are gay for each other? so who cares?

Jensen: Yes, but we can’t LOOK gay ok? So just shake hands.

Jensen’s brain: fine 🙄

**Jensen does whatever this subby, hand-groping bullshit is**

Jensen’s brain: is that…. is that how humans shake hands? in a non-gay way?

Jensen: Shut up.

Jensen’s brain: i’m just trying to understand

Jensen: Shut up, asshole

Jensen’s brain: 😏

Look, I know it’s not going to happen, but all I want in life is for Jensen to respond to Misha’s shirtless video by saying “Hey Mish, if you need a shirt I have a few old ones for you.”

New theory: Jensen gives Misha so many shirts because otherwise his natural inclination is to run around bare-chested and Jensen’s poor, queer heart cannot handle it. (Photo version.)

Cockles trash cat meme origin

So you know how you sometimes go out with you friends and one of them gets way too drunk and ends up getting confessional with someone they don’t know that well? And you kind of want to stop them but, y’know, it’s their life and their choices so you have nothing to do but sit back and watch and be equal parts mildly horrified that they are spilling secrets to a relative stranger and incredibly amused at how they will feel about it later?

THAT is how I feel watching Misha tell the same story, over and over, about wearing Jensen’s hand-me-down shirts.

Misha, you’re currently my intensely emotional drunk friend and you need to stop before you reach the point of crying in the club. Neither of us can handle that. Thanks in advance.

Misha on social media: hahaha…Jensen is my cabin boy…that means he’s a sub who likes BDSM…hahaha…gonna make a comment about a giant space tongue rimming Jensen b/c why not lolz…gonna post a pic of myself covered in white goo and imply that it’s come from the conclusion of a threesome with Jensen and Jared…haha I’m such a scamp…I’m just incorrigible…teehee…

Misha when a fan mentions clothing: WHAT’S A JENSEN??? I’ve never heard of one and even if I had I definitely wouldn’t have had any non-heterosexual thoughts or feelings about him…and we’re absolutely not so close that we share in casual intimacy without a second thought…what could possibly make you think that?? I DON’T EVEN LIKE JENSEN OK!!!

Stages of Cockles in Gifs.

I feel like Jensen is one con away from straight-up answering an only tangentially-related question with, “…and that’s why I love Misha. You do know I love Misha, right? Like, love love him, like the way we love our wives. I feel like you guys get it so let’s just move on. Next question!”

At the next con, Jensen and Misha will be projecting the words “JUST SO YOU KNOW, I LOVE THIS MAN” on the side of the building across from the hotel in case you somehow miss that message in their panels.

At the next con, Jensen and Misha will be screening a 12-minute video that is just them giggling while one of them films the other; there will be no lines and nothing else will happen. Fandom will deem it a masterpiece.

At the next con, instead of his usual classic rock covers, Jensen will be performing a spoken word piece about how great Misha is, accompanied by Jared on bongos and Richard Speight on the kazoo.

In the final episode we are brought to the realization that the show DOES exist in our universe and on our timeline and that this entire time J2M have ACTUALLY BEEN TFW and kept this cover story about being actors on a TV show to keep us from knowing what they are really up to. Most of the show is just footage of their lives, though some of the things on the show were just absurd and to keep us off track.

Misha Collins is an actual angel. Jensen Ackles is a grumpy-faced softie with the biggest nerd streak. Jared Padalecki is a fiercely loyal and intelligent guy who has fought off more than his share of darkness. Gen and Danneel are actually supernatural creatures though neither will fully commit to being an angel or demon. Vicki is too powerful to be captured on film. And of course Jensen and Misha have been husbands for years. It was hard to hide that one on the show.

Jensen: *does interview quote game on his own* Great! Now, I’m gonna go get Misha. He’s gonna be so terrible at this game lol…He has the worst memory and never watches the show…hahaha isn’t that so cute?

Interviewer: oh actually we weren’t quite done interviewing you…

Jensen: yeah but Mish is gonna be so bad at this and I can’t afford to miss that! Imma go find him right now!

Interviewer: you really don’t have to…we’re actually talking to you all individually.

Jensen: ….

Interviewer: y’know, so we can cut the clips together?

Jensen: ….

Interviewer: And because you probably have a lot of other interviews at this huge press event for your 300th episode?

Jensen: ….. Yeah, no, I’m getting him right now. Hey, Mish! Get in here!

Filming with JenMish (aka “why’s Dean wearing a seatbelt?”)

**Jensen makes a dirty joke and Misha cracks up** **Misha and Jensen playfully push each other around the front seat of the car** **Misha says one thing that is mildly amusing and Jensen falls over laughing**

Sanchez, conferring with Bob Singer: What do you do to stop this?

Singer: strap one of them down

Sanchez: You mean, like, tell them to get it together or else?

Singer: No, no. I mean LITERALLY strap one of them down.

Sanchez: ….

Singer: Why do you think they get tied to so many chairs? **sighs** These two have cost us so much in duct tape.

photographer: alright, everyone, fight each other for pie! jensen: mish, you should pull my hair. misha: why? it’s not like that would stop you moving your arm. jensen: …. jensen: misha. you. should. PULL. MY. HAIR. misha: ooohhhhhh! jared: I don’t want to be here for this.

Cockles is the gay booze cruise of ships.

a text exchange that probably happened: jensen: I can’t believe ur still going running on vacation jensen: nerd misha: hello to you too. … misha: awww, babe, you must really miss me! that comment is so sappy! jensen: shut up misha: you “dig” the “WHOLE THING” huh? jensen: fuck off misha: don’t I know it!! jensen: fuck OFF misha: now I have to go like it. … misha: ok done. you huge softie. jensen: not always misha: oh really? misha: how about now? jensen: not now jensen: call me misha; as you wish…

Jensen’s brain (Jensain): holy shit!! look at our hot husband!! mmm…we like the grey and the sweat and the beard and, hey, did we give him that shirt? Jensen: yep. Jensen’s brain: and he sounds all smart and sincere, which turns us on….WOW we’ve been apart for too long! Jensen: tell me about it. Jensen’s brain: Say something about how good he looks. Jensen: I can’t. It’s public. Jensen’s brain: You gotta. Jensen: I. CAN’T. Jensen’s brain: But how these bitches gonna know he’s yours!? Do you know how many people are looking at this video RIGHT NOW?! Jensen: OMG Jensen’s brain: OMG Jensen: they gotta know… Jensen’s brain: YESSSSS!! DO IT!! Tell everyone the sexy, scruffy, deep-voiced, poetry-reciting motherfucker standing in the sunlight belongs to you! Jensen: I can’t say that. I’m just..gonna…tease him? about something? Jensen’s brain: u serious? 😒 Jensen: Well…no… Jensen’s brain: tell him you like the whole package! Jensen: I cannot use the word “package” about Misha in public. Jensen’s brain: 😏 Jensen’s brain: Fine! Can you at least mention how strong he is? Jensen: … I guess that’s less…gay… Jensen’s brain: uh-huh, sure. way less gay. 🙄 Jensen: ok, I did it. now leave me alone. I have to post a picture of my family so that no one suspects I only logged in because I have alerts set for Misha. Jensen’s brain: … Jensen’s brain: hey, you know who looks sexy in flannel PJs?? Jensen: ALRIGHT THAT’S IT

me: *wakes up in a cold sweat and sits upright in bed*

But how much of the mockumentary did Jensen shoot??!?

Misha is busting out of his shirt and jacket in those EW pics again, which makes me think something like this exchange must have taken place:

EW stylists: So, what size is Misha? SPN costumers: Eh, he’s the small one. EW stylists: But…he doesn’t…look small? SPN costumers: Nah, trust us, he’s the small one. EW stylists: Uh, looks more like he’s a 6’ wall of muscle but ok Misha: What’s a clothes? I will wear it. *Jensen sobbing in the background*

”I’m Full Frontal in Here Dude: Guest Starring Misha Collins” title of Jensen’s sex tape.

Jensen’s brain: you should give Misha that valentine.

Jensen: Yeah, good. It will work for the video. Like, as a joke.

Jensen’s brain: no. not joke. he’s your valentine.

Jensen: No he’s…

Jensen’s brain: you can’t lie to me. I’m you.

Jensen: shit. that’s true.

…

Jensen’s brain: Sooooo…valentine?

Jensen: Fine, but I’m gonna call him “buddy” when I give it to him.

Jensen’s brain: 😐

Jensen: People can’t KNOW!!

Jensen’s brain: You literally just called him your valentine on camera on a livestream but OK WHATEVER make sure you say “buddy.”

Jensen: I did WHAT??!

Jensen’s brain: Why do I bother? 🙄

Destiel AU where Cas is a poet who writes secret poems for Dean and posts them anonymously to an Instagram account that he gets Dean to follow and Dean falls in love with the mystery man he feels is speaking to him…and then realizes it was the guy he already crushed on from afar.

aka AU where Destiel is Cockles (with some tiny changes)

#masterpost #cockles masterpost #cockles crack masterpost #my stuff #bex writes #though sometimes only crack #my cockles crack #cockles crack #these two idiots #jensen vs jensen's brain #jensain #cockles humor #life in the trash can #jensen trash cat ackles #pray4jensen #pray4misha #pray4us #TEAM DUMPSTER MANSION #rps for ts

[star-light-fae]

Muse Interview Meme!

█ FILL IN THE QUESTIONS AS IF YOU ARE BEING INTERVIEWED FOR AN ARTICLE AND YOU WERE YOUR MUSE.

Tagged by @othello-nightshade​

Featuring Lunascie and Lrangi together since they’re both twins

01. WHAT IS YOUR NAME?                ❝Name’s Lrangi and this is my sister, Lulu or Luna!❞               ❝I’m Lunascie and this is my idiot brother, Lrangi.❞ Smacks him on the head.              ❝Hey!❞

02. WHAT IS YOUR REAL NAME?               ❝Well, Lrangi and Lunascie are our real names. Now, if you’re going for our full names, our surname is Faestar. Lunascie Faestar for me.❞               “Though if I had to choose, my full name would be: Lrangi Most Handsome Cat Boi, Biggest Di-OW!”

03. DO YOU KNOW WHY YOU’RE CALLED THAT?             ❝Faestar? Mom says that she found the both of us during a meteor shower. And her last name is Fae, so she decided to add Star after it when she adopted us.❞             ❝As for our first names? Mom says that Lunascie means Moon and Lrangi means Sun in a special language. Though I’m not sure if you’ve ever heard of it. It’s not well-known here. Mom does travel a lot.❞  

04. ARE YOU SINGLE OR TAKEN?             ❝We’re both single and open! I’m strictly looking for guys though haha! My sister doesn’t know yet! Right sis?❞             ❝...❞             ❝If you ask me though, I saw her hanging out with a cute Viera lady the other day and-WHY IS MY TAIL ON FIRE?!❞

05. WHAT ARE YOUR POWERS AND ABILITIES?            ❝Ho-kay, now that the fire on my tail is out, you probably guess what my sister does. She specializes in ranged and solely magic classes.❞             ❝I do like to main healing though. Cause mom is a healer. My moronic brother is the idiotic melee DPS who is probably the most useless of the party though.❞              ❝Exact-HEY!❞

06. WHAT COLOR ARE YOUR EYES?            ❝Red and Yellow! We mirror each other! See?❞             ❝Get your hands off my face or I’m going to set your whole body on fire.❞

07. HAVE YOU EVER DYED YOUR HAIR?            ❝Yes. No thanks to him.❞            ❝What? It wasn’t permanent! It’s so easy to dye our hair anyways since it’s white. Though my sister and I do prefer our natural hair colors. Cause they’re like mom’s and her sisters.❞             ❝It was a really dumb color combo he choose. Bright neon Lime green and hot red highlights. It took a month to wash out completely. He tricked me when we were at a spa and I was getting a facial so I didn’t get to see the stupid bottle.❞

08. DO YOU HAVE ANY FAMILY MEMBERS?            ❝Well, there’s mom. And her older sisters I guess. Do we call them out aunts?❞             ❝Obviously.❞

09. DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS?            ❝Yeah.❞             ❝We have a lot. Mom likes pets. Dogs, cats, ferrets, Foxes, rabbits, birds, etc.❞

10. DO YOU HAVE ANY HOBBIES OR ACTIVITIES YOU DO IN YOUR SPARE TIME?            ❝I’m so glad you asked! I lov-mpph!❞             ❝Do NOT get him started. He will go on for hours about what he likes to do in explicit detail. For me personally, I enjoy listening to mom’s stories the most. She has so many to tell. I also like exploring and helping other people. Just like mom.❞

11. HAVE YOU EVER HURT ANYONE BEFORE?            ❝What? The fact that my psycho sister doesn’t say enough for you?❞             ❝We’re adventurers. It’s a given trade.❞

12. HAVE YOU EVER… KILLED ANYONE?            ❝...next question.❞             ❝Ditto.❞

13. WHAT KIND OF ANIMAL ARE YOU?            ❝Does the cat ears and tail not say enough about us?❞             ❝My brother is actually a male Viera. Don’t tell anyone.❞              ❝OI!❞

14. NAME YOUR WORST HABITS.           ❝This girl, is by far, the worst sibling ever! She’s been bullying me this entire interview!❞           ❝You are the worst brother ever! You sleep with your shoes still on, you steal all the hot water from the shower in the morning, you leave your dirty magazines out for everyone to see, you always have first dibs on dessert, you SNORE, and you are an utter narcissistic, playboy!❞   

15. DO YOU LOOK UP TO ANYONE?           ❝Mom.❞           ❝Mom.❞

16. GAY, STRAIGHT, OR BISEXUAL?           ❝He’s gay. Enough said.❞           ❝She doesn’t know yet. I tried signing her up for some dating meet-ups, but she assaults me instead.❞            ❝ONE-NIGHT STANDS ARE NOT DATES.❞

17. DO YOU EVER WANT TO MARRY AND HAVE KIDS SOMEDAY?           ❝Him? Being a dad? He’d be the worst father.❞            ❝I think you mean-THE BEST! You on the other hand, would be the terrible aunt.❞

18. DO YOU HAVE ANY FANS?           ❝Don’t remind me augh. He gets so much fanmail every day.❞            ❝What can I say? I’m handsome-OI! Stop hitting me!❞

19. WHAT ARE YOU MOST AFRAID OF?           ❝Me? Afraid? As if!❞           ❝Says the guy who needed me to hold you hand while you went to the bathroom at night.❞           ❝I WAS A KID.❞  

20. WHAT DO YOU USUALLY WEAR?           ❝He’ll find every excuse not to wear a shirt. Enough said.❞            ❝He-llo? I want the world to see me for all my beauty and glory!❞

21. DO YOU LOVE SOMEONE?           ❝Not yet, but I hope to find some nice guy for me~❞           ❝I love mom. But not this idiot.❞           ❝Naw, you love me sis~❞            ❝Ruffle my hair one more time. Don’t even.❞

22. WHAT CLASS ARE YOU?           ❝Monk, Dragoon, Ninja, Samurai, Machinist, Gunbreaker, and Dark Knight.❞           ❝You forgot Dancer.❞           ❝Shhh! That’s a secret for only my lover!❞           ❝You don’t have one.❞           ❝Oi!❞           ❝As for me, I’m a White Mage, Black Mage, Astrologian, Scholar, Summoner, Bard, Red Mage, and Dancer. I main as a healer like my mother of course.❞           ❝DON’T IGNORE ME!❞      

23. HOW MANY FRIENDS DO YOU HAVE?          ❝A few. I don’t ask for much.❞          ❝All I see you do is hang out with Blue and no one else though.❞          ❝You don’t even hang out with anyone. Do you even have any friends?❞          ❝S-shut up! I’m working on making friends around here!❞

24. WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS ON PIE?          ❝Mother Miounne made me one of her famous eel pies. It’s my favorite kind of pie!❞           ❝I’m telling Mom that you don’t like her pies anymore.❞           ❝Don’t you DARE!❞

25. FAVORITE DRINK?          ❝Mom’s hot cocoa, hot spiced apple cider and lemonade.❞           ❝Can’t go wrong on that.❞

26. WHAT’S YOUR DICK SIZE?        ❝Why it’s-H-hey sis! Put down that gun!❞         ❝NEXT QUESTION. NOW.❞

27. WOULD YOU RATHER SWIM IN THE LAKE OR THE OCEAN?         ❝Oof. The lake. The ocean is too salty for my fur.❞         ❝There is also that one time that giant fish almost bit your butt.❞         ❝Do you have a death wish?❞         ❝What kind of healer are you?❞         ❝One with an idiotic brother of course.❞  

28. WHAT’S YOUR ‘TYPE’?         ❝Me? I’m all for any kind of male too be frank. And yes, the mythic male Viera as well. As for her, she’s not sure yet. Do you need help making a dating profile for her-WILL YOU PUT THAT SWORD DOWN!❞

29. ANY FETISHES?         ❝H-hey sis! Come on! Calm down!❞         ❝LET ME GO!❞         ❝I DON’T WANNA HAVE TO EXPLAIN TO MOM WHY YOU KILLED AN INNOCENT PERSON!❞            ❝IF SHE DOESN’T KNOW, WE WON’T HAVE TO SAY ANYTHING!❞

30. TOP OR BOTTOM? DOMINANT OR SUBMISSIVE?         ❝SWITCH! I’M A SWITCH! SIS, PUT DOWN THE GUNBLADE! HOW MANY MORE GODDAMN QUESTIONS ARE THERE?!❞

31. CAMPING, OR INDOORS?         ❝WE LIKE CAMPING! JUST FINISH ALREADY!❞          ❝GOING BACK TO CASUAL QUESTIONS WON’T SAVE YOU!❞

32. ARE YOU WAITING FOR THIS INTERVIEW TO BE OVER?         ❝YES!❞         ❝GET THE FUCK OUT!❞         ❝I’m home~ How is the interview going-❞         ❝Hi mom...❞         ❝Lunascie, why did the journalist run out so quickly? And why is there bullet holes in the chair?❞         ❝...Shit she’s mad...❞         ❝You distract her while I run for it.❞         ❝Right-OI! GET BACK HERE!❞         ❝Lrangi.❞         ❝H-hi mom!❞    

Lunascie was later caught and she and her brother had to do the dishes after dinner.     

#ff14 #final fantasy 14

[brookelynnhates]

You tweeted earlier this month that something was “coming soon,” either a line of jockstraps or underwear, along with a picture of someone wearing a jockstrap that said “Hytes” on it! Can you give more details about what’s coming?

Well we're starting with jockstraps. We just chatted with a manufacturer today and we’re hoping they get here in time for DragCon. I thought it was a nice idea because nobody has done that in the drag market. No one has done an underwear line. I recently started wearing them myself and they’re so comfortable. I always get horrible wedgies with underwear, so I was like why not get in on that and brand one?

That’s a very practical reason! Is there anything else about jockstraps that appeals to you besides comfort?

Well they’re obviously sexy. Everyone loves a good jockstrap. And I wanted to try to do something different with my merchandise than what other people were doing. It was for that reason. I wanted to put out something that I liked a lot and other gay men like a lot — and make some money off of it in the meantime.

It’s all about the bag!

Yeah, I have to secure my bag.

So, what are your favorite styles of jockstraps?

I like the classic one, which is what I think that one was, just two straps, gives you a little lift and support. We’re going to start with that for now and then we’ll look to expand into other kinds. We got a lot of messages asking if we’ll be doing women’s so we’ll be doing women’s sports bras and a women’s panty. I know there are so many girls out there who like Drag Race as well. So we’re sticking with the classic one right now and then our next step will be doing something for the women. I would also love to do an athleisure line, like yoga pants. I do yoga and pilates myself, so that’s where I’m starting. Baby steps, testing the waters, seeing how everything goes.

In terms of my own fashion, as a boy, I like very simple basic things. I love black, white, and grey. I love bold simple colors, so I wanted to keep them very simple and to the point. It’s something you can wear with everything. The same thing goes with my “Hytes” t-shirts. It’s just a simple statement that you can wear with everything. A lot of drag merchandise is hard to put with an outfit when you have a cartoon pastel drag queen. But I want something people can wear every day.

You ended up clarifying online that the tweet you sent with the jock was *not* your butt, but you have definitely shared photos of yourself and your assets before.

That was not my butt, I wish that was my butt! It was a fantastic butt!

It was your best friend’s right?

Yeah my best friend, Steve. He runs my merchandise and orders everything and helps me so much. I'd be a complete mess without him. He’s the one who got the jockstrap first and sent that picture to me and I was like, “There’s the post!”  

So I think a lot of people want to know: do you work out and do you have butt workout tips? Or is it all from dancing?

That was mostly from dancing! Walking in heels is a great workout tip. But I do a lot of hot yoga, I do a lot of pilates, and that combined with dance is where I got my body from. But I don’t do a lot of squats and I don’t do a ton of butt-specific workouts. That’s just my butt in its natural form.

I should start working out, though, and then I can have an ass like Steve, just a giant badonkadonk.

Obviously when you shared that first photo there was a lot of thirst and you had to clarify that that was your friend’s butt and not yours. For a long time, queens often said that femmephobia and stuff like that stopped people from thirsting after them. Do you think there’s been a shift in people thirsting for drag queens in recent years?

Oh, totally.  For a long, long time, drag queens were so taboo. It was OK to flirt with us in drag, but when we were boys, no one flirts with you or talks to you or takes you seriously. It was cute in drag, but you knew nothing was going to happen. As soon as you became a boy or a real person, it was like, “I was just kidding?” With the popularity of Drag Race, that has completely changed. In a way, it’s sad that it took a TV show to be like, “They’re real people!” Part of it is because we’re insta-famous. That plays into it, that people are thirsty for attention and thirsty to sleep with someone who’s “famous.” I don’t like to say that I’m famous, but “well known.” It definitely has helped open people’s eyes to see that you can be a drag queen and also be a man. Being a drag queen doesn’t mean you want to be a woman or live your life as a woman. It’s my job, I go to work I put on a costume, and then I’m me again.

Who are some of your dream models that you would want to have for your line?

I would definitely get Kameron Michaels in one, because he has a great bum. I feel like I have to google nice asses — Jason Momoa! That’s my dream sponsor. If I could get Jason Momoa in one of my jockstraps, it’d be a deal. He’s my dream man, I’m so in love with him. I want people of all different sizes in my jockstraps. My models, if it comes to that, I would definitely have people of all shapes and sizes in there and that goes with the female line, as well.

Before we go, I wanted to ask one Drag Race related question: What was it like to be in the middle of that Untucked this week and kind of be the fly on the wall observing most of it happen?

Oh it was so funny. I just did an interview and they asked me that and I forgot so much of what happened. I remember the fight, but the couch thing, I completely forgot I did that. I saw that and was like “Oh my god!” It’s funny because I’m not that person. I’m not a yelling-in-your-face dramatic person, but I had a couple cocktails, and I was feeling great because I had good critiques on the runway. I wasn’t wearing hip pads, I wasn’t tucked.

I couldn’t believe what was happening. Yvie and Vanjie yellings, Ra’Jah and Plastique … it was like a Twilight Zone moment. I didn’t understand what everyone was yelling about, which was the funniest part. People were just getting mad! They could’ve had normal conversations about these things. That’s what was funny to me because I’m a very non-confrontational person. I’m just happy I was not involved. I was like, “What the fuck are these bitches doing?” I feel like everyone at home felt the same way.

The memes of you on the couch under the cushions have been so funny!

I never thought in a million years that that’s what I could become memeable for! Like the whole thing with Mercedes and “Oppolance!” and of course the Vanjie thing. It’s so funny to see what people latch onto.

#brooke lynn hytes #god her women's underwear/athleisure line... i cant wait #also..she really forgot she did the pillow fort thing lmfao i love my drunk babe! #interview #she rly seems like a fun person to just chat with ugh

[name-me-regret]

Second Star To The Right - Chapter 3

Second Star To The Right Chapter Three

Read on AO3.

- - - -

“Before all of this ever went down In another place, another town, You were just a face in the crowd Out in the street, walking around A face in the crowd

Out of a dream, out of the sky Into my heart, into my life And you were just a face in the crowd Out in the street, thinking out loud A face in the crowd.”

A Face In The Crowd - Tom Petty

- - - -

June 15, 2019 (Saturday)

He’d refused to return to the park no matter how many times Abbie begged him all weekend.

“I wanna see the stolen boy! Maybe we can help save him from the fairies!” she’d shouted. Tony wasn’t there to hear her, or he’d likely have something to say. He had agreed with Harley when she’d talked about meeting a fairy and that it was probably some kid playing a prank on them. As for Harley, he hadn’t told them Peter’s name, because he was afraid that he really was a boy stolen by the fairies and his face would be on a missing poster or something.

Now it was his birthday and it seemed Abbie was more devious than he gave her credit for. She’d somehow convinced Pepper, who was their adopted mother since she was married to Tony, that it’d be a good idea to have Harley’s birthday party in Central Park.

It wasn’t exactly a party, but ‘A Walking Tour & Picnic’. It was a guided tour of Central Park and there was a picnic after the 2 hour tour! Two hours! Who wanted to walk for two hours on their birthday?!

Well, technically his birthday had been Monday and they’d had a small cake just the newly formed family, and now some of Tony’s friends would be along for the festivities since neither Harley nor Abbie had any friends. But still, he didn’t want to go on a hike. Harley didn’t want to risk running into Peter again, because cute boy or not, he was super weird and freaked Harley out.

That’s the reason he was trailing behind the group, hardly peddling on this stupid bike he’d been forced to ride. They weren’t even that far into the two hours, it’d been ten minutes and Harley wanted to quit. It wasn’t because he was out of shape, because he was use to hoofing it to school if he ever missed the bus. He just thought this was really dorky and there were some kids his age pointing and laughing at them.

“I wanna die,” he groaned, wishing he could hide his face at least, but the bike was so old that if he let go he’d likely topple off it.

“Then perish,” a voice cackled. His head whipped around toward the familiar voice, and his stomach flipped when he saw Peter in the trees he was passing.

Harley wanted to ride off, but his gen-z genes wouldn’t let him. “That’s not right. I have to say, I would die for you. And then you say, then perish.” He’d stopped, putting one foot on the ground so he would topple.

Peter grinned with a shrug. “I’ve never been one for memes.”

Harley eyed him. “You are strange, what kid of gen-Z kid doesn’t like memes?” He noticed then that he had the same clothes... again. “And don’t you ever change clothes? Do you live in Central Park or something?”

Peter looked down at his clothes with a confused look. “This is what I had on when I was taken, so I can’t change.” He looked at him, head tilting with a sorrowful expression. “You still don’t believe me, do you?” He stepped back into the tree line, and damned if he wasn’t starting to disappear right before Harley’s eyes.

“Wait!” Harley called, dropping the bike and rushing forward. Peter paused and started to reform again, almost like some kind of ghost. “Shit... fuck,” the taller boy gasped, stopping just a few steps from him. “If... if you’re being held by fairies, can I help? Can I save you?”

His heart was pounding as Peter looked at him, head titled curiously. “Maybe... maybe you can,” he said slowly.

“Harley, where’d you go?” Harley heard Tony’s voice.

Peter looked shocked when he heard the voice, turning to look at Harley. “Peter? What is it?”

He shook his head, stepping away from him. ’Come back... don’t forget about me,’ he whispered, but his mouth didn’t move this time. Before Harley could reach for him, he he was gone as if he hadn’t been there at all.

Tony found him a moment later, but Harley was too shaken that he only managed a ‘sorry’ to being reprimanded about falling behind, and followed the man back to where he’d dropped his bike.

- - - -

June 16, 2019 (Sunday)

Harley wouldn’t say that he was scared, because he wasn’t, not anymore. He’d seen the sadness in Peter’s eyes, the truth; or at least, what he believed to be true. Peter truly believed that he was being kept prisoner by fairies, and he wanted to help him. Harley didn’t want Peter to keep having that desperate look on his face. So, against his better judgment, he returned to the park the next day without telling anyone where he was going.

Sundays were a bit tricky for Harley. His mama had always insisted on going to church every Sunday, and Harley always resisted her on account that he’d feel like a big hypocrite. He was what all the people in the congregation referred to as ‘wicked’. Damn, how he despised that word more than anything he could ever describe. It was hard being gay and religious, because he did believe. How could he look at his mama, who worked so hard so they the things they needed, and not believe. While she was gone now, he still had his sister, he saw her as her smile got a bit wider each day, and she made him not just give up.

So, it was necessarily that he didn’t believe, he just didn’t want to go to a place that called him wicked, disgusting, or immoral. Harley knew that no every place was like that, but he had no time to try and differentiate. He was fifteen, had a nine year old sister that needed him, and that’s all that matter.

Only, Abbie wanted to go to church, and Pepper had agreed to take her, because it’s what their mama use to do. Harley didn’t go, refused to be guilted into going even by her. So, he had Sundays to himself, trying to figure out what to do with himself.

This is the reason he was here now, back in Central Park and trying to find a boy that may, or may not be a ghost. Hell, he could be one of those supposed fairies he said that had stolen him away, and now wanted to steal Harley away. Harley would just have to make sure not to eat any food the other might offer him. It was just that, he didn’t know the first place to start looking.

Harley was moving along The Ramble when he heard something that sounded like ‘pssst!’, which was strange to hear so clearly when there was a lot of people around. Then he saw Peter motioning from somewhere off the man-made path, looking to he halfway inside the stones. It was late afternoon, and it was slightly darker here with the amount of trees surrounding this place.

It was Sunday, so the majority of the people were located in the larger areas of the park, such as the ballfields and the playground areas. This part of The Ramble was strangely secluded at the moment, almost like it was intentional. It felt a bit ominous to Harley, and he felt uneasy, because he wasn’t too familiar with New York, never mind the 840 acre Central Park.

Even so, he jumped the fence easily and approached with caution to where the ghost (maybe) was waving at him. “Hey,” he said cautiously, and was a bit surprised when he seemed to have changed his appearance even when he’d said that he couldn’t change. He would have said something, but he was worried that he might disappear again.

The clothes he was wearing weren’t any less strange, with a bright orange shirt and a green windbreaker with blue trim, and a pair of black and white shorts. His whole outfit clashed with one another, but damned if he didn’t look adorable. ‘Could you stop being a disaster gay for a moment, Harley,’ the blonde haired teen chastised himself.

Peter looked at him, swaying back and forth as if being buffeted back and forth by the wind, only, there was no wind to be felt. It was warm and uncomfortably sticky, so Harley would have been grateful for just a small breeze. He was use to Tennessee weather, but he’d never liked them. At the moment he was wearing cut-off jeans, and a white t-shirt along with his old beat up white sneakers. While it was true that he had been adopted by Tony Stark (there had been a press conference and everything, but Harley and Abbie’s faces hadn’t been shown to protect them for the time being), that didn’t mean he was going to become a douchey rich kid. He still wore the clothes he’d brought from Tennessee.

When he reached Peter, he saw that he’d been right about his mismatched clothes being terrible, but he still made it work some how. Or Harley was just blinded by a cute boy. “So, what do I have to do to... help you?” he asked, trying not to shuffle nervously. Because cute boy or not, he was also a ghost or a fairy trying to steal his soul or something like that.

The other grinned, reaching out toward him and Harley was proud of himself for not flinching away. When their hand’s connected, and it was strange but it didn’t feel like a flesh hand, but it was corporeal and cool to the touch. Harley shivered a bit as he got closer, but made no move to distance himself from Peter. He was seriously screwed if Peter was some kind of fairy creature trying to steal, or eat his soul.

“Come on,” Peter said, grinning as he pulled him forward. He found himself being led down a stone stairway. There was literally nothing down there, and Harley had to duck down under the large rock to get to the sheltered inlet that Peter led him to. He was surprised when he saw some kind of blanket or other spread out, so he didn’t get the seat of his shorts down when he sat on the ground.

When he turned toward the front, he was a bit stunned at the sight. The streets were low with their green leaves, some just bushes, and the shade they provided was no as ominous at all as he’d first thought. It was beautiful, and there was almost something rhythmic in watching the movement of water, no matter how dirty it looked, and now he could hear the soft movement of the wind. It was almost like it was just Harley and Peter, the other’s hand still gripped in his own; cold but solid.

“Who are you, really?” Harley asked him, looking at the other teenager sitting next to him, far too close. Even so, when the other shifted closer, he didn’t move away as his heart started to pound in his chest.

“I’m the wind... and the trees, and the ground under your feet,” he whispered. Harley couldn’t help lean back and away from him, but the rock was at his back, and Peter was so close that he should feel his breath on his face, but there was nothing. He couldn’t even tell if he was breathing.

The came that voice again, like two voice overlapping that he couldn’t distinguish one from the other.

‘It was night, and the rain fell; and falling, it was rain, but, having fallen, it was blood...’

Harley reached out with hesitant hands to the other’s face because he seemed to have gotten lost to whatever he was hearing or seeing. “Peter, come back,” he told him.

’And, all at once, the moon arose through the thin ghastly mist, and was crimson in color. And mine eyes fell upon a huge gray rock which stood by the shore of the river, and was lighted by the light of the moon.’

He was confused, since he didn’t know where the voice was coming from but the other was lost as he stared straight ahead without really seeing Harley. So, he leaned forward and pressed his lips to the other’s cheek, to wake him from his trance and because Harley really wanted to.

Peter blinked and looked at him as his eyes cleared. “Did you just-?” he choked and Harley was a bit amazed as his face flushed scarlet. It was a good look on him, and he found that he wanted to see it more. So, since Peter had leaned close enough already, he closed the last few inches between them and while he could feel his lips, cool and solid, it didn’t really feel like him.

Even so, he heard Peter gasp even if he doubted he needed air, and then he was kissing him back. His hand fumbled for Harley’s and their fingers locked together. Even if he was sure he might have been kissing a shadow or an illusion, it felt nice and he wanted to kiss him for however long he had breath. Harley knew though, that he had to stop, so he broke the kiss.

Peter made a small whimpering sound when Harley pulled away, but he needed Peter to focus; he needed to focus on how to help him.

“Peter, what can I do to help you?” Harley asked, scooting back a bit. Peter leaned forward, probably to keep the kiss going, and damn if he didn’t want to. So, he grabbed him by the shoulders and stopped him, and once again marveled that he felt solid. “Focus, Peter!”

The smaller boy’s face changed to that vaguely distant look, and he was in time to only say his name again before he disappeared like the mist. Only when he was gone did he realize it was dark, the sunlight had gone when before it had been shining through the tree branches, and he hadn’t realized how long he’d been there. Harley realized he had lost time.

Harley suddenly heard the crunch of footsteps and he tensed and moved further under the boulder, eyes darting toward the water, wondering if he could get away through there even if it meant getting his shoes wet. Then he relaxed, because it was likely just park security, and only had a moment longer to wonder what they were doing off the path when he realized it wasn’t park security.

“Hey, what’re you doing there kid?” a rough voice asked. He couldn’t make out much of the man’s face, dark as it was, but he felt one of his hands close around his leg and drag him out. “Spying on us, are you?” he snarled, and Harley saw there were two of them.

“Lemme go!” Harley growled, kicking at him as the man yelped when his foot connected with his face as he cursed. Harley darted around him, barely avoided the other man’s grabbing hand as his sneakers made a scraping sound on the stones as he threw himself up the stairway. The men were shouting after him, but he refused to stop, managing to jump over the fence and took off running, aware that he was being followed.

“Harley,” he heard someone call and his head snapped up, seeing Peter motioning through the trees off the path. He didn’t like the idea of leaving the path and crashing through the woods, but he also wasn’t going to get caught. So, he hopped over the fence, following Peter as he seemed to shine, reminding him of stories that told of lights that would lead travelers stray and to their deaths.

Harley certainly hoped the ghost boy wasn’t leading him to get lost and die.-

- - - -

#Second Star To The Right #Peter Pan AU #peter parker #harley keener #harley keener/peter parker #Harley Keener centric #SSTTR #Harley Keener Adopted by Tony Stark #tony stark acting as peter parkers parental figure #peter parker whump #Edgar Allan Poe references #Harry Potter references #Coraline references #Other literary works referenced #Momentarily Confused/Mentally Unstable Character #Implied/Encouraged Self-Harm #Tony Stark #May Parker #Harley Keener’s Sister #pepper potts #parkner #fanfiction #myfanfiction #Things That Go Knock In The Night series

[thecharmingknightemma-moving]

like this post and I’ll pick a sentence from this meme and turn into a short starter (one liner or with a bit of context)

you can specify your muse(s) and everything else if you want (fandom, what is Emma)

some sentences might need to be adjusted to work

I’ll copy them under read more as well in case the post disappears:

‘  i’m a snack but everyone seems to be on a diet.  ’ ‘  i’m gonna replace every bone in my body with a knife, if someone punches me they’re in for a surprise (the knife)  ’ ‘  let me just flirt with you and be a brat and send you cute half nudes.  ’ ‘  blue-flavored candy is always the best flavor of candy like what the fuck. blue raspberries aren’t even a thing. we are literally eating the color blue as a flavor and it’s fucking magical.  ’ ‘  touch id is pissing me off. ‘try again’ the fuck? it’s me with a lil chicken grease.  ’ ‘  call me in the middle of the night and tell me you can’t sleep without me.  ’ ‘  healthy relationships with fathers? sounds fake.  ’ ‘  me to my alarm in the morning: i was literally sleeping but go off i guess.  ’ ‘  do i blame my zodiac sign or my childhood traumas or both  ’ ‘  *eating microwaved ramen noodles and watching kitchen nightmares* i cannot believe this asshole didn’t use fresh chicken in his paella, unbelievable.  ’ ‘  my specialty: the accidental 12 hour nap in broad daylight  ’ ‘  quiet little moans while making out is the hottest thing ever  ’ ‘  date somebody who will go on a road trip with you to see america’s 10 most haunted places  ’ ‘  any vampires who need permission to enter my house…. you have my permission… you wanna come through my window in a flurry of fog and wind?  you can do that… wanna drink my blood and take me away to your big vampire castle? alright friend, go for it  ’ ‘  i’m the guy from the lady and the tramp who gives stray dogs pasta and stands in an alleyway playing an accordion for them  ’ ‘  *nervously calls crush bro*  ’ ‘  i don’t have trust issues. i have ‘seen that shit happen before my own eyes’ issues.  ’ ‘  fuck summer. i want it to be dark and misty and frigid and october.  ’ ‘  concept: we are holding each other in bed, we look at each other and know that all that waiting all that distance was worth it to be close now  ’ ‘  i’m so lucky to have gotten to watch you grow so much this past year. i’m so proud of you.  ’ ‘  i’m so protective of me now, i’ll cut somebody off for simply having the wrong energy  ’ ‘  why are you trying to make me horny. bitch, you know i’m making macaroni.  ’ ‘  date a boy who curls up on your lap, even though he is 6’2" because he loves cuddles  ’ ‘  going out on a date is cool and all; but what about simply sharing a bed with someone, listening to music and discovering everything about one another, together.  ’ ‘  we are drunk and i ended up sitting on the bathroom counter with my legs wrapped around you, but when i wrote ‘marry me’ on your hand with a sharpie, i wasn’t joking.  ’ ‘  you’re equivalent to my favorite color. you’re the human version of what is safe.  ’ ‘  one of the most toxic things i’ve ever done is ignore the bad in someone because i love them.  ’ ‘  you think you want me to shut up? i have to listen to myself even when i’m not talking  ’ ‘  why would i fuck a demon? simple, the status. imagine rolling up into hell already havin had your back blown out by one of their own. imagine you and a gang of other losers standin at the gates of hell, they’re all crying, scared to death about having a pitchfork up their ass for eternity and you just walk into the arms of your sugar demon? legendary.  ’ ‘  i like wearing your clothes. they smell like you and your scent is home to me.  ’ ‘  *therapist voice* you are stupid and gay.  ’ ‘  i like to blame myself for everything just in case.  ’ ‘  the realist thing you can do for me is keep your word.  ’ ‘  love yourself enough to set boundaries. your time and energy are precious.  ’ ‘  i haven’t done anything but i sure could use a break.  ’ ‘  sometimes you just need to hear how much you mean to someone.  ’ ‘  who needs april fools. my entire life is a joke.  ’ ‘  i wish i could be near you, my heart misses you.  ’ ‘  i’m not trying my hardest but i’m very tired which i think should be taken into consideration.  ’ ‘  me @ me: don’t start buddy don’t you dare.  ’ ‘  so what’s next? you heal. you grow. and you help others.  ’ ‘  my kink is not setting an alarm for the next morning.  ’ ‘  if you think i’m cute send me money.  ’ ‘  one day i will take a good selfie and you will be sorry….. you will all be sorry.  ’ ‘  not a day passes where i don’t embarrass myself but it’s ok because i’m on the path to destroy my ego so i won’t be embarrassed anymore.  ’ ‘  there is no reason not to love with you whole heart.  ’ ‘  i hope your heart heals from all the damage it took over the years.  ’ ‘  sometimes you just gotta say fuck it and send that text.  ’ ‘  ‘i can see your nipples through that shirt’ first of all stop being ungrateful.  ’ ‘  so much is going on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it’s too much!!!!!!!!!!!!! i just want to sleep in the forest for 190 years!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i’m tired leave me alone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  ’ ‘  i heard you like bad girls. well i’m bad….. at everything.  ’ ‘  yes, i am fully aware that I’m The Worst™ but i still wanna be like……. loved and stuff.  ’ ‘  i really am, from the bottom of my heart, an actual fucking idiot.  ’ ‘  let me show you just how good i can be.  ’ ‘  i’m just tryna chill on a beach somewhere at 3 am.  ’ ‘  i have a serious weakness for thigh grabbing and hickeys.  ’ ‘  i’m a snail and god is salting me.  ’ ‘  i hate texting people who don’t use a billion emojis and a trillion exclamation points in their messages. just say you hate me and want me to die.  ’ ‘  being called baby?????? holding hands????!? being KISSED?!!!?!???????  ’ ‘  i hope your heart heals from all the damage it took over the years.  ’ ‘  my heart busts a nut every time someone tells me they saw something and they thought of me.  ’ ‘  i have hella heart eyes for you.  ’ ‘  you’re cute. i wanna kiss you for a whole hour.  ’ ‘  it’s pretty iconic to like yourself.  ’ ‘  i am so jealous of animals that get to hibernate, like what the fuck, why can’t i just sleep for four months and then return to real life.  ’ ‘  stop feeling sad and acting weird you bitch (the bitch is me)  ’ ‘  i’m still obsessed with you like it’s day one.  ’ ‘  to quote hamlet act iii scene iii line 92, ‘no’.  ’ ‘  i would have a cuter room if i wasn’t a goblin who threw all her shit on the floor.  ’ ‘  on two hours of sleep i’m either way too happy or violently homicidal.  ’ ‘  let’s go on a date and by date i mean lay in bed and make out for three hours.  ’ ‘  alphabet soup. more like times new ramen am i right.  ’ ‘  tbh it’s okay if no one else thinks i’m funny because i think i’m a riot.  ’ ‘  catching feelings is bullshit. i’m just eating french fries, why i gotta think about kissing you? fuck you.  ’ ‘  smiling is so weird like you stretch your eating hole to show happiness.  ’ ‘  self care is putting absurd amounts of parmesan cheese on your pasta.  ’ ‘  you didn’t go through all of that for nothing.  ’ ‘  get you a girl who loses her shit every time you send a selfie.  ’ ‘  i wish i could be there to take care of you right now.  ’ ‘  home is where the heart is and my heart has always belonged to you.  ’ ‘  i just wanna have soft glowy skin, long eyelashes, pink lips, rosy cheeks, lots of cash, and no responsibilities.  ’ ‘  ok but platonic forehead kisses.  ’ ‘  my heart is guarded but like… very poorly. the kind of guards that would let 3 kids in a trench coat into an r-rated movie.  ’ ‘  what doesn’t kill me doesn’t kill me (unfortunately).  ’ ‘  do you ever look at a boy and wonder if he moans as pretty as he looks.  ’ ‘  life tip: if nothing goes right go to sleep.  ’ ‘  by cute do you mean you wanna frick frack or do you mean i look 12?  ’ ‘  cats are very pickupable and i think that was a really good choice on their part.  ’ ‘  don’t depend on anyone. handle your own shit.  ’ ‘  there isn’t one alternate reality where i didn’t fall in love with you.  ’ ‘  being my ex must be the worst thing. imagine losing me?  ’ ‘  if i say ‘backstreet’s back’ and you do not say ‘ALRIGHT!’ we’re not friends. burn in hell, you sick fuck.  ’ ‘  i love every cat in the entire world. every cat on the planet. if there are any cats in outer space, i love them too.  ’ ‘  my mom is really that bitch and i’m that bitch jr.  ’ ‘  you know you’re fucked when their voice turns you on.  ’ ‘  don’t look at my fucking boner when we fight.  ’ ‘  not all heroes wear capes. a lot of them wear collars and are called dogs.  ’ ‘  it’s you. it will always be you.  ’ ‘  why do tattoos cost so much? i’m paying you to injure me.  ’ ‘  thank you for being the biggest light in my life and saving me from the darkness.  ’

#sorta starter call #starter call; #to be reblogged later #some can be texts some are definitely said out loud #might be done tomorrow for obvious reasons

[the-angry-pixie]

How about Halloween Again, the bit from "“Wait! So you knew?! Why did Lucas get to know and not me?! " to the "Fuck what anyone else thinks" part (is that 500 words?? approximately?? idek)

(For the DVD commentary ask meme - still taking requests btw)

This passage is taken from Halloween (again) - and so obviously, spoilers for that story if you haven’t read it.

You’re lucky I like you Anon cause that was way over 500 words. :P

“Wait! So you knew?! Why did Lucas get to know and not me?! I mean, I get Dustin because he can’t keep a secret to save his life but what about me!” Mike demanded.

He saw Will approaching him in his periphery. “Because…” he felt hands cupping around his cheeks and he grudgingly met the shorter boys eyes. “… you would have freaked out. You would have overthought it and eventually chickened out. You know I’m right” Will was speaking so gently, it soothed Mike’s frayed nerves and he felt his heartbeat calm down a notch.

This is a very real concern when it comes to Mike. He’s still dealing with a lot of fear and worry when it comes to his and Will’s relationship. Without a doubt if he’d known ahead of time that they were dressing up as The Village People - he would have fretted and angsted and eventually CONVINCED himself that they couldnt possibly go as that because then everybody would just KNOW about them. Will could have pointed out that him dressing up as a “gay icon” had actually been very popular with the ladies last year but it wouldn’t have mattered. He could have told Mike over and over again that the idea was FUNNY and that nobody would look into it any further than that. But it wouldnt have mattered. Mike’s just a tad too neurotic for that. So I think Will made a good choice in not telling Mike and just not allowing him the chance to think or stew on it.

“Maybe.” he grumped, to the apparent amusement of the young man standing in front of him. Will smiled at him and pecked him on the lips briefly before sliding under his arm. Mike felt himself calm even further as he squeezed him to his side, enjoying his familiar warmth.

Little moments of gentle affection. Me loves writing them. Its everything that we wanted but didn’t get in Starman.

They looked over to where Dustin was still looking as sulky as Mike felt.

He was sitting on the couch now, grumbling to his knees. “I’m not that bad at keeping secrets…”

“C’mon buddy. Even I was need-to-know basis. The girls—”

“Hey!”

“—ugh fine! The girls and Will weren’t able to get any Army Man clothes. They needed to know if I could dress in my Dad’s old uniform.” Lucas was still trying to comfort his friend. Hand clutched around his upper-arm and squeezing.

And thats a little moment showing *Will’s* insecurities that are still lurking. Now that he’s out and proud  (at least to his friends) he’s certainly not going to allow himself to be thought of as “one of the girls”. Doesn’t matter that thats totally not what Lucas meant - its still a little thing that Will is (overly)sensitive to.

“Yeeeaaah. C’mon pre-party buddy!” Max said kneeling down in front of the teen and leaning on his knees. “Dry your eyes, untwist your panties and come do some shots with me.”

“Yeah and when you’re done, report to my room. We have a lot of body glitter to apply before we’ll be ready to go!” El clapped her hands happily before grabbing Lucas’ arm and pulling him towards her bedroom.

I absolutely adore the idea of El being really into makeup and therefore the most enthusiactic about its application on everybody.

Max was doing the same to Dustin, only towards the kitchen and the bottle of peppermint schnapps she’d stored in the freezer earlier. Although Dustin was dragging his feet, he seemed at least a little more enthused about the idea of alcohol.

Meanwhile Mike turned himself so he was now facing Will. His arms easily settling around his waist. Like a lock clicking into place.

“Body glitter huh?” he murmured. Trying to cover his nerves with humour.

“Mmhmm” Will smiled that little close-mouthed smile of his. “We have to highlight…” his nimble fingers were pinching at Mike’s flannel shirt, pulling buttons from their holes, “all your…” the material slowly parted until the buttons all the way down to his belt-buckle were undone “…assets.” Will smirked, running his hands across Mike’s chest. Eyes catching his as they sparkled impishly.

Will isn’t being horny here. The Village People really *did* never do up their shirt buttons. Ok… maybe he’s being a *little* horny. He also might be laying it on a little thick just to tease Mike a bit. He’s an imp. I like writing him with an impish attitude. 

“Yeah but are you sure about this?” Mike’s hands came up to clutch around Will’s, halting their ministrations. His eyes burned seriously. As much as he tried he could not bring himself to just join in on Will’s teasing. “Isn’t it a little… obvious?”

The teen in front of him huffed, meeting his gaze. “A little obviously what Michael? A little obviously gay?”

Mike scrunched up his nose. “Well… yeah… I guess so.”

Will was giving him that look. That look he always gave him when he wanted to laugh at Mike but was holding himself back.

“Seriously Mike. Don’t worry so much. Nobody is going to care. If anything, they will find it funny! I mean, it IS funny! Especially after we finish applying all the fake moustaches! El is going to look hilarious!”

EVERYBODY IS GOING TO BE WEARING FAKE MOUSTACHES OR FACIAL HAIR (EXCEPT MAX) AND I AM *LIVING*. Have I mentioned recently how obsessed I am with getting the Party dressed up as The Village People?? It’s practically the only reason I wrote this oneshot. Fun Fact: I got the idea from another show called The Almighty Johnsons. Where four brothers get pranked and all turn up separately to a costume party and realise that “Aw fuck. Together, we’re The Village People”.

“I don’t want to look hilarious…” Mike bemoaned quietly, imagining all the people staring. Whispering. Wondering. “I don’t want people looking at me at all!”

“Yes you do!” Will snipped, his tone almost sounding scolding. “This could be our last Halloween altogether for a long, long time. We’ll all be at college next year. We need to make tonight special. We need to do this together. As a group! Fuck what anyone else thinks!”

His voice was sounding earnest now and his fingers were curling around Mike’s chin authoritatively, giving him nowhere to look but into his sea green eyes.

“Say it with me now Wheeler! Fuck what anyone else thinks!”

He was staring silently at Mike. He obviously required an answer.

“Fuck what anyone else thinks.” Mike muttered halfheartedly.

“Fuck what anyone else thinks!!” Will demanded again, his fingers clenching around Mike’s jaw. And he just looked so cute, his face all determined and stubborn. 

“FUCK what anyone else thinks!” Mike announced with more gusto, chuckling as he enjoyed the smile that broke across Will’s face like a sunrise.

“I STILL CAN’T HEAR YOU WHEELER! CALL YOURSELF A COWBOY?!“ Will was absolutely bellowing now. His other hand coming up so he could shake Mike’s head from side to side enthusiastically. “ONE MORE TIME FOR THE PEOPLE DOWN THE STREET!! FUCK WHAT ANYONE ELSE THINKS!!!”

“FUCK WHAT ANYONE ELSE THINKS!!!” they both crowed in unison breaking down into giggles as they heard the cheers coming from the kitchen and El’s bedroom and the token protests about “language” coming from Mrs Byers’ room.

I guess Will decided that what Mike *really* needed at that moment was a Battle Cry. I tried to lay the ground in Starman that Will had been holding this “fuck what anyone thinks” attitude for awhile. He didn’t get it from Theo. He already had it. Theo only bolstered it. And now its Will’s turn. His turn to be the cheerleader. To show Mike that it doesn’t matter. It *really* doesn’t matter. All that matters is them and The Party and having a FUCKING GOOD TIME for their last Halloween together. Its really important to Will. And I loved writing Mike just kind of, getting sucked in by Will’s enthusiasm. Because a confident Will - its a beautiful sight!

“Sorry Mom!” Will responded through his giggles as he fell against Mike trying to muffle his laughter into his chest. Mike held him close, sniggering into his hair.

And yes. I loved writing Joyce’s little cameo. She doesn’t really care, not enough to come out and give them a lecture. Its more just like the token “Mom comment”. Also I like to think that Joyce takes joy in how proud and strong Will is - about his sexuality, his relationship with Mike, everything. So just imagine her giggling away in her room as she shuffles through a magazine, hearing her children whoop and cheer from all corners of her house. 

Thanks so much for the prompt Anon! I love doing these. Hopefully they are somewhat interesting. :)

#Anonymous #pixie writes #byeler #there's a Starman waiting in the sky #meme things

[secretshinigami]

Masterlist of Demegawa-chan’s Special Prompts

A compiled list of everyone’s prompts from the exchange – thank you for letting us post them, and we hope you guys enjoy them! Prompts are organized by their submitter, so be sure to give credit if you use one.

niatsuki

Near and Light kissing

Mikami and Light in the rain sharing an umbrella

Misa in a suit

Domestic Mikalight

Matsuda confronting Near on the theory he brings up at the end of the manga

Nate and Light having an obtuse argument, but with romantic undertones

toygowther

Light wearing a crop top, high waisted jeans and fishnets, and a choker. 

L having a nice day out in the park eating ice cream with Maki and Near 

Musical!Light smiling

Misa in a cute gothic dress doing a finger heart

L and Light wearing Misa Misa merch at one of her concerts.

AU in which Light is actually a woman. The fic would follow how Misa reacts to it and if she would still want to be her girlfriend.

Role swap au. Light as Misa and Misa as Light.

Light and Misa meeting a different way and actually forming a healthy relationship. 

spaceblue

L, Naomi & B shenanigans

Naomi, Wedy and Lidner as Charlie's angels (or L's angels?)

Wammy kids as Pokemon trainers

Matt gets the rest of the Wammy kids to play Smash with him

Naomi and L after the end of LABB, after he says his name is Rue Ryuzaki 

Drama!L and drama!Raye Penber bickering 

hazblogs

your take on A's gender and sexuality, bonus points if they're not a cis man and straight

Mello and sun imagery

Beyond Birthday and his eyes

Near with Hanahaki disease (pick who it's about if you want a specific ship)

Mello and witchcraft, if possible in the canon universe

Naomi interacting with Beyond (au or canon), if possible talking about L or the Wammy kids

L/Light being soulmates, in canon or in an AU

how Matt started smoking (I am comfortable with heavy drug themes)

polyphenols

L learning to garden, paint, cook, do taxes, care for an animal, or pay for a parking ticket for the first time

All the times L has cursed Right In Front Of The Task Force (poor Soichiro)

L alone, dressed for the cold, in a cathedral during midnight hours, gazing at the altar in silent contemplation

Aiber and Wedy at an evening gala on a mission

L and Alessandro Juliani warmly shaking hands

Young Naomi in a darkened room with red string and case clippings everywhere

What chain of events led to Quillsh Wammy deciding to adopt L and care for him?

Matsuda cant swim and he’s knocked into a body of water on a case, one of the task force has to go after him

The conversation that happened between L and Rem before he walked out onto that rooftop

L traveling somewhere exotic for a case, meets celebrity of your choice and becomes unlikely friends, takes down crime circle together 

Naomi and L interact side by side as partners during a seperate case  

paralllaxes

16 year old Gevanni (normal day or family banter)

Naomi in modern clothing

the SPK in one of those cheesy family pictures.

Naomi thinking about LABB while in Japan

SPK found family stuff / domesticity

Naomi being with the SPK (with or without Raye is the author's choice)

kiranatrix

Light and L in emo/goth clothes or in an emo band

Light in a crown on a throne

Ryuk doing something funny or playing a prank while invisible

L and Light on a road trip

Misa painting Rem’s looooong nails or giving her a makeover

Death Note characters as birds! 

Sayu gets a grumpy parrot and Light doesn’t realize it can talk until after he hears it repeat some Kira plan thing, so he has to adopt it to keep it from spilling on him

L and Light talk about something important that happened to them in their childhood

L has to deal with growing amount of Light’s products in their shared shower and tries some out of curiosity with disasterous results

Light accidentally eats the last piece of cake in Kira HQ and L can’t deal at 4am

Lawlight Apocalypse AU of any variety 

Beyond breaks out of prison after LABB, where does he go?

47gaslamps

The task force with portentous umbrellas

Halle, symbolically framed between Near and Mello

Naomi kicking Light's butt after he attempts to use force

Matsuda gives Yamamoto a welcome-aboard to the former Task Force / 

AU where the drawer IS forced open

Misa has to shield Light from the paparazzi

translightyagami

Light and L in a crowded apartment, obviously lived in, playing piano next to each other

Light sewing something like his father's suit jacket or a shirt Mikami tore

Indulgent ask for my cryptid AU L and Light sitting in a graveyard having a nice time

Light having a smoke before he has to go tell his parents he's moving in with Misa

Light and Sayu having a difficult conversation where they're both saying they're gay without out loud saying it

Near goes to a Lego building event and meets a nice boy who isn't a Wammy kid

almostsane-things

Wammy's kid(s) of your choice sitting on the roof, watching the sky

Beyond Birthday and Candy Guro

DN characters in a rock band, maybe the shinigami are their mascots

Draw a less appreciated character but try something new with your style/medium. (i.e. use different brushes, incorporate a traditional art/craft like painting or cross-stitch, make a collage piece, go abstract, etc)

L in prison

Misa and Sayu becoming friends/ hanging out

The legend of Kira, how has the story of Kira changed over time in universe? Do people believe it was something supernatural, a government conspiracy, a group of vigilantes, or perhaps it's faded to nothing but a cautionary tale for misbehaving kids

A DN character enjoys that thing you really like/ find interesting to learn about, and shares that interest with someone else. (i.e. Matt plays your favorite video game with someone, Linda teaches someone about gardening, etc)

weneedtotalkaboutdeathnote

A hot double date with BBxDemegawa and LxHiguchi

B meeting L (any context is fine).

Naomi and Raye getting coffee together, having a nice time.

L can see ghosts, but he chooses to ignore them. This becomes increasingly had to do when B’s spirit shows up during the Kira investigation.

An Au where L defeated Kira, grew older, and basically disappeared. Older Mello (mid 20sish, now a detective) follows a lead that takes him to the washed up L. 

Non serial killer, "Unprivate Detective" Beyond Birthday works on a case with Naomi Misora.

pensulliwen

Misa making Valentine’s Day chocolate, perhaps while daydreaming about a fantastically unlikely result of giving them to Light.

Rem holding Misa as they fly over the city.

Meme redraws featuring Misa, Light, and L. Just go crazy. Any ridiculous meme image, shove these dorks in there instead.

Misa convincing Rem to take her flying, the feelings they both experience in the air together.

Misa and Mogi on a shopping “date” in which the unlikely pair manage to work together surprisingly well.

Light considers eliminating Misa from the equation many times, but there’s always something that stops him. Explore how he views her and the dissonance between how he views her versus how he views himself, as well as the reasoning for keeping her around longer than intended. 

izaori

Demegawa in a hot tub but instead of water its money

Mello playing soccer with the other kids (like Matt for example). 

Matsuda playing cookie clicker, because he's obsessed.

Young Demegawa when he first got his job, maybe a few months into the job.

Sayu studying for her big exam coming up so she goes to big bro Light for help.

Ryuk discovers sour green apples rather than just the red ones. Maybe Sidoh discovers dark chocolate/white chocolate at the same time.

mikami

High school age Mikami in a high school uniform.

MikaLight out on a date

anything L/Higuchi

A Sakura TV Documentary about the Kiras. 

MikaLight office romance, non-Kira AU.

Write me a fic about Demegawa. Can definitely be comedy, but please take the character somewhat seriously.

ghostoftasslehoff

L and Light playing piano together.

L with a kitty

Sayu and ‘Ryuzaki’ meeting, and hitting it off 

Matsuda recieving a present or something from a ‘secret admirer’

A day in the life of Matsuda (away from the task force)

L and B’s first meeting (can be shippy or not, whichever my Shinigami prefers)

L tries to engage in punnery with the task force, but only one person engages (preference for Light, but surprise me!)

Sayu’s (or Sachiko’s) thoughts on Light’s new secretive actions as Kira becomes more and more active 

tzigi

(All canon-compliant)

L gets first suspicions about a string of heart attacks which may be a new murder case for him

Light’s first day at To-Oh after L’s death

Light’s first day of work at the NPA 

Near tries to pick up L’s investigation

Why did Near go back to L’s original font for the “L” logo between chapter 108 and the C-Kira oneshot? 

A non-Lawlight rendering of the first evening of Light being chained to L after everyone else has already gone to sleep (preferably in keeping with the One Day one-shot) 

Light begging Ryuk for his life

Light’s funeral

catfishmaster

The main characters (plus B) as DND characters

Older Near (like 25-30) with a bunch of cats he keeps for company

Roger bonding with Near after the Kira case.

Beyond Birthday faked his death in 2004 and now lives alone as a poor and pretty miserable theatre actor with a fake name. Oh, and also it's a Kira wins au.

Years after the Kira case has concluded, L takes on Near as an apprentice.

Matt takes Near on a tour of an afterlife-like world they both wound up in. It's more like a dreamscape than anything else but it serves as an afterlife.  

#prompt list #death note #deathnote #Demegawa-chan's Sakura TV Special 2019

[josiebelladonna]

You might be wondering why I’m writing about this given this is such a private and personal matter, and with the NSFW ban in place (fuck you, Tumblr, really, I hope the rumors are true and Yahoo shuts your big shot asses down the toilet you disgusting cocksuckers), this is very risky for me to write about this. But this is starting to drive me nuts given the importance and given the fact I’ve been starting to get the eye from people now. So read on if you’re like me... and you’re curious about the 20-something writing this right now.

I have been confused about my sexuality since I was about 16 or 17--I started to give it some thought when I turned 16 and I heard the phrase “16 and never been kissed” getting thrown around. I always went to the default of “straight” and yet I never really looked at a boy in the school yard or on the street and thought he was cute enough for me to call him more than just my friend--and it wasn’t until my cyber encounter after I got out of high school when I really began to feel it.

Yeah, after I left high school. Never went to prom, never had a sweetheart, anything.

Whenever I was asked “do you like anyone?” (I still get asked that, too) I could never answer that. The answer was always no and I felt like I was missing out on something. Some people in school actually thought I was lesbian because I never swooned over the hottest guy, which is ridiculous because I was more focused on my schoolwork and digging myself out of the hole of a dysfunctional family than having my eye on some dude who didn’t even know my name and probably wouldn’t think I was attractive anyways (and even if I was gay, what’s the fault in that?)

There have been a few times I’ve thought, for sure, I was asexual because of that. It’s always been hard for me to feel that “spark” if you will; I hate looking at selfies simply because of this. Hate it, absolutely hate it. and I’m glad the “I was tagged to post selfies!” meme on here is finally dead, too, because I found it pathetic. You really have to actually look good in order for me to give you an ounce of attention, and even then I won’t be like those people who are like “OMG you’re so HOT!” because I take a look and I think “they’re okay. Nothing fancy and I can’t see wtf is so great about them but kudos for having the balls/ovaries for taking the time out to take a snapshot of themselves.” And other times, I think “god, no. Sorry if I sound harsh, but no. I didn’t want to see you and I didn’t ask to see you, either.”

I know I’m not asexual because I’ve had fantasies galore and I have felt desire now that I really think about it. Although I have thought I was bisexual because I’ve thought about making out with a girl just to see what it’s like.

I think it has to do with my past, all of the shame I experienced as a child and an adolescent. I remember being very small and putting my hand down my pants and my strict religious grandmother saying “nice girls don’t do that” (she would also go on to shame me for being curious about other things like erotica), or wanting to pull my shirt up to touch my stomach and hearing “no one wants to see your bare belly, hannah, that’s not allowed.” When my chest started coming in, I was shamed for it (”she’s got boobs now, put a safe guard on her!” or *in a mocking voice* “chesty little thing”). When my hips started coming in, I was shamed for it (a favorite insult I’d get is “fatass”; or whenever I walked in front of a bunch of people, I did as best as I could to not bring attention to my hips). Or I was flatout shamed for the way I look, called ugly or gross. My uncle, aka the driving force in my body dysmorphia and my encounter with eating disorders, once said that I’m too heavy in build--I really am heavy, too, I’m like a female Lars Ulrich with a more olive complexion and I’ve got about a hundred pounds on him--and no one would love me or find me attractive if I was fat or above a certain weight. The first boy to have a crush on me was a total creep about it--I was 9 years old then, too, imagine how I’d feel if it happened to me now. All of this shame, all of this negativity... no wonder why I feel almost insulted when someone asks me “do you like anyone?” or “are you seeing anyone?” or assumes that I must have a hot boyfriend in my life. I really do feel insulted by those assumptions. Like, you just made fun of the fact I gain weight easily, and the fact I have a large bra size and now you’re asking if I’m thinking of getting railed? Fuck off. I don’t care who you are, either. Fuck. Right. Off.

Now that I think about it, I know for a damn fact that I’m not ace: when Ben and I were getting closer, in my third letter to him, I included a pic of myself where I dressed nice for him (he later said it felt like I was seducing him). I did as best and as decent as I could for Lars when I wrote to him last fall: I’ve written erotica about him, ffs; and I'm at the point now where I don’t go a day without thinking about Black Album era, where he had that long Jesus hair, that sexy beard, and a little “extra.” I guess I just like a little roundness and a little softness: I think about pinching his little cheeks or rubbing his tummy or just giving him a hug, and after all the bullshit he’s been through--and feeling unable to unsee the shocking amount of fanfics about him that paint him in a gross light--it’s understandable that I think about... you know, giving him a little lovin’. The same goes for Ben, too: after Chris died, I wrote to him with the confession that I’ve thought about comforting him and being there for him after Soundgarden broke up initially--I think I actually wrote a fic about that once. In fact, last night, to unwind after the trip back from Dodger Stadium, I watched some Anthrax videos and I never realized how cute Joey is. Everyone in Anthrax, actually: I guess I have a hair fetish because I think Scott doesn’t look right with a bald head; I’ve often thought about what Ben would look like with long hair, and I think about long haired, young and rambunctious Lars whereas Load era or St. Anger era practically never cross my mind (really, in my Dave and Lars folder, I have all of two pics of him without any hair, whereas the rest are from the 80s or the early 90s). And I think men who love their mamas are sexy, too, so there’s that.

And like I said, I have fantasies and I’ve thought about being touched. In my first encounter, I felt aroused, and the whole point of my tag nirvhannah shepherd chronicles is to act like an erotic memoir. Or maybe I’m gray: I can’t look at some person everyone deems as “hot” and feel the way their admirers do. Whenever my mom points out a cute guy, I’m like “yeah, okay” and then I just leave it at that; or I shrug, like “sorry, Mom, but... what do you want me to do?” And yet one of my aspirations in life is to be a sex symbol and I’m not sure how I feel about that, either. Or maybe I’m demi: in my first encounter, I already knew the guy, he sat behind me in math class and I was there to comfort him. I had already written to Ben twice and I found Lars just by happenstance. And I like to wear clothes that draw attention to my hips and my chest, just because I like wearing them and to serve as a middle finger to the bitches who body shamed me and told me I’m a girl, I’m never supposed to feel good about myself otherwise I’m a fucking whore and should be smote.

Really, if you’re religious, stay away from me. I won’t give you a hard time if you go to church but... stay away from me because organized religion has done more to wreak havoc on my life and my overall health than anything, and I grew up being smacked over the head with Watchtower magazines and the Jehovah’s Witness Bible while getting asked “why aren’t you going to the Kingdom Hall??” Second to that is conservative beliefs and that everyone should look and behave a certain way--and that goes for all of you social justice bloggers, too. If you identify as conservative, and conversely if you get offended by me saying certain words, stay the fuck away from me.

But either way, I’m still rather confused about my sexuality and how to describe it succinctly. I see people left and right identifying as gay or bi or whatever and on top of this, saying they’re proud of it. I mean, really, more power to you, but to be honest, I feel left out because it’s almost impossible for me to place a neat label on mine and it’s even harder for me to feel proud of it. The further I delve into it and peel back the layers and kick off the shackles of dysfunction, the more I feel weird inside and uncomfortable about myself, like I’m not this beautiful human being everyone I know thinks I am. And I wanted to write about it because I just wanted to air it out. I feel like a freak and I want to make that known.

#nirvhannah shepherd chronicles #personal #very personal #text