#i want to get hit by a train

[pissfizz]

The mental unwellness has transferred into physical unwellness

#i feel like vomiting and also passing out lmao #i have so many fucked up thoyghts going through my head right now el oh el #goddd I should probably just delete my tumblr without telling anyone at this point #do you know how much it sucks knowing that every single person you interact with is constantly worried for or by you #the price to pay for using this as a vent space. now everyone’s scared that with one wrong move I’m gonna go psycho on them too or just - #- straight up kill myself and that’s the only reasons they stick around because they have morals and a conscious and are good people #but it’s in every interaction I have with anyone and I actually want to drown myself throw myself off a building etc etc #i am so fucking self centered Jesus christ. urghhh so many thoughts so many thoughts #everyone hates me but I need everyone to love me more than they love anything or anyone else #i want to get hit by a train #urgh maybe I should try that tylenol thing someone mentioned earlier on here I wonder if that actually works #vent

[turtleblogatlast]

[ cw: death mention / family death mention / ]

Mhmm I sure love thinking of the reality where we did get more time to really know Karai and her dynamics with the bros. Losing her hit hard in the finale, but it would’ve hit much, much harder had we known Karai longer and really saw her relationships develop with everyone.

I especially would have been interested in her dynamic with Leo, as past iterations often have the two of them clash in ideals and the like while still sharing many characteristics. Two sides of the same coin, and all that. Her specifically being the bros’ Gram-Gram also adds a whole new dynamic as well.

Imagine how interesting it would be, to have Karai start off on Leo’s side for once, showing wholly just how alike the two are at their cores and bonding as family without the worry of betrayal or animosity that other iterations suffer through, only to have Karai die anyway. Their parting hug and the desperate look of horror Leo wears later on would have hit that much harder, I feel.

#rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rise of the tmnt #rise karai #rise leo #rottmnt karai #rottmnt leo #I think a lot about these two in particular #and how that dynamic could have flourished #the way it was depicted in the finale is so purposefully unique and painful like #that hug man #can you imagine how much more heartbreaking that would have been if we knew her longer #not that it wasn’t already sad but we just simply didn’t know her long enough to be completely attached #also imo having more episodes with her and in general would have presented something I’ve been thinking about since the finale #so like - I like to think each bro kinda immediately leans more toward certain family members #Mikey has Draxum #Donnie has April #Raph has Splinter because this is another one that would be SO GOOD and make the finale moment where Raph sees his memories hit harder #if they had an ep or two more of Splinter and Raph together bc I really do feel like Raph respects Splinter most of the four #and finally- Leo has Karai #and then he loses her #imo? this would align with the movie even more #because it was the act of heroism that kinda killed her in a way - makes sense that Leo would initially be leaning away from that #and yet he ends up exactly like her anyway #haha sorry for rambling I just really love the interesting dynamic these two tend to have #and it’s a shame we didn’t get to see it really explored in rise #but yeah make no mistake while I’m focusing on Leo here I wanted more for all the boys and karai #Mikey’s little moments with her were so sweet and we already know how much he yearns for more family #Karai being from an age long gone would mean she’d be super impressed by literally any invention Donnie has (adult validation!!) #and could you imagine her training with Raph - with this training being referenced in the finale?

[spinjitsuburst]

why aren’t there more concepts around the overlord being absolutely terrifying. horror-movie level eldritch being. the embodiment of DARKNESS and EVIL ITSELF should be a terrifying entity not only psychologically but also physically

#the overlord is. so interesting to me. #I want them to be this specific brand of terrifying #which I mean. like I say this as if I don’t want that of half the ninjago villains #kinda being fed finally with people making nadakhan scary which I’ve been wanting since I discovered that bitch can shapeshift #thank you bbnb and the sham #but any shapeshifter in ninjago should be fucking scary #all the oni? should be terrifying including mystake #ALSO THE GHOSTS MORE SCARY S5 ART #anyways I lost my train of thought the overlord should and could be so scary #shakes them around I need. to hyperfixate on them #someone hit me over the head with season 2 3 and crystalized #anyways #I’m gonna. do stuff eventually i’m about to leave for work but when I get free time…….. #the overlord #Ninjago #lego ninjago #spinjitsu screams

[eemiejab]

Its been so rainy this past week, and the cozy vibes gave me inspo to draw :D i still love these two sm..

also, i realized gold needed friends so i made some Stick OCs B) i just think they're so stinkin cute.

likee i want to draw sm more of them

#ava #animation vs animator #avm #animation vs minecraft #alan becker #eemiesketch #avm king #avm gold #avm fanart #“i want to draw sm more of them” #but then i realize im and getting giddy and excited over sticks then i get embarrassed and cringe myself out over drawing what i love #and then i end up drawing nothing !! anyone know how to get over that? asking for advice finally cause it sucks.. #anyway college still hitting me like a freight train

[silusvesuius]

drawings of @gutztism's idea 😼 get horsed

#my art #skyrim #elenwen looking perfect even as a pony she;s always slaying My queen #i saw U say that ulfric wud be an alicorn and at first i wasn't sure about it (nords would probably just be pegasi); but then it hit me.... #the greybeards done facked up and gave him a horn #elisif would have the regular smaller pony build while elenwen should be c*lestia/l*na sized maybe #it doesn't matter if she's a pony.. they'll all still look elongated and mutated as altm*r LOL #imo elisif would only have a horn (mer attribute obvi) before becoming high queen but it'd also still be fun - #- for her to be an alicorn pre-reign and just be.... INEPT #at everything #cus nobody is training her to fly or to use magic #she'd 100% be too scared to fly 😢 i want her to try and fall flat on her face - #- and cry about it after like a baby #rikke is the only one supporting her thru that DFVOUOT5I5 #she probably used to fly alongside/with torygg's help but not anymore Thanks a lot ulfric #sorry this is getting too meta #also i forgot elisif's braid wtf

[epickiya722]

You know what's messed up about people hating on characters who cry? When the character actually has legit reasons to cry! Some of them be put in life or death situations! AND BE KIDS!

I don't know about the rest of you, but I would cry every single second if I was Midoriya. Like, folks be calling him a "crybaby" in a derogatory fashion but think about all he has gone through.

You really think you wouldn't be crying, too? Be honest, be honest. Even if you don't do it right in front of people, you would cry behind closed doors.

#bro had no quirk got bullied over it had even adults treat him like crap #gets a quirk and OOP! afo wants to take it he has to train for the quirk to adjust to his body #bro has witnessed death fought villains had an assassin after him #hell the villains tried to kill him during the training camp arc... well he was on the hit list #neglected his health and wanted to protect those he held dear #but yeah midoriya is so annoying because he's crying 🙄 #MY GUY I WOULD BE CRYING TOO IF I HAD TO GO THROUGH ALL THAT AS A TEENAGER #I'M SURPRISED WE DON'T HAVE A LOT MORE TEEN PROTAGONISTS CRYING THEIR ASSES OFF #just kiya's thoughts #bnha #mha #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #midoriya izuku #izuku midoriya #deku #it's appreciate midoriya hours folks!! #💚🐇👊

[wormfunkie]

really gotta say. not a fan of norman. dude has to be one of the worst dads in pokemon and the bar is already pretty low 💀

#to being said i have not made it to the black and white arc yet so ghetsis might just beat that record but so far? its norman #pokespe #like as many jokes as i make about Giovanni being a shit dad the dude does actually care about his son #yeah he is not a good person nor do i think he is supposed to be written like a good person however #Giovanni still like actively cares about his son Ruby's dad in the meantime just keeps #just keeps hitting me with fhe exact opposite thing you would think a dad would do #yeah yeah yeah let me train my son and be emotionally disconnected from him so i can train him to go through a really dangerous tower with a #a really dangerous pokemon yeah yeah yeah wait? my son hates? ok so like I'll get another kid that #that i did not want to train to begin with and only wanted to be a good trainer and make him climb the tower even though he already #has problems breathing go climb the dangerous o zone tower go go go

[project-sekai-facts]

While it is not uncommon for Mafuyu to be depicted without highlights in her eyes, her The Road That Has Been Cut Off untrained 4* is the only card that has ever changed her eye colour to be darker. This is to signify that this is quite possibly the lowest point Mafuyu has been at throughout the entire game’s story.

At this point, Mrs Asahina has thrown away Mafuyu’s synthesiser and “accidentally damaged her laptop and sent it to be repaired”, completely cutting Mafuyu off from her only source of support in 25-ji, Nightcord de.

Comparison with The "Good" Me trained 3* below.

#mafuyu asahina #project sekai #cards #i need mrs asahina to get hit by a freight train it’s not even funny. #i don’t like sharing character opinions on this account for the sake of being unbiased but I can want to kill mrs asahina. as a treat. #mrs asahina #project sekai spoilers #our escape for survival

[all-my-ocs-are-evil]

Grojband, but as a band from an early 2000s shoujo manga

#I was literally just going about my day and then this idea hit me like a truck and I couldn't do anything else until I drew this #I'm apparently still on the nostalgia train and have no real intention of getting off anytime soon lol #next stop? #Who knows! #I pulled up so many reference images for this only to use like three of them T-T #you bet i made a bunch of sketches of them to make up for it! #you can probably tell which two mangas I referenced for this this #also this style is so hard??? #artists just draw like this all the time??? #just drawing laney nearly drained away all my sanity #also yes they are aged up because there is no way that they could look this dramatic and angsty at their actual ages XD #have i mentioned how much i love tumblr #I get to rant as much as i want down here and no one cares lol #grojband #corey riffin #laney penn #kin kujira #kon kujira #anime and manga #artists on tumblr #digital art #fanart #grojband fanart #shoujo manga #artist on tumblr

[novantinuum]

when the blind reactors you watch are starting to get into the Nitty Gritty of plot and you are going to have to be Very Careful in your meta ramble comments from now on so as to not accidentally sway their thinking or Give Anything Away

#SoEverdream on patreon just finished s3 #and got to the 'rose shattered pink diamond' (*major irony Air Quotes*) ''reveal'' #we really in it now boys #jen rambles #man tho it's so funny at the end of s3 he was musing on if the reveal of what rose ''did'' would at all change steven's willingness to be #more offensive on the field in a situation of need and he was like... 'man part of me... actually really wants that and a part of me #Does Not because steven is a literal child and at the end of the day i want him to stay innocent' #and meanwhile in the back of my head i'm just #war flashbacks to 16 yr old steven Going On the Offensive and uh #it not ending well :') #which i still think... narratively- how it's presented- was kinda genius on a meta level #they play up that fight the whole episode... building up towards it with a whole anime-esque training montage #playing it up like some fuckin shounen shenanigans #for Many audience members i think they were like 'holy shit lets GOOOOOO fight fight fight' #but then like #WHAM. consequences hit #and it's not a fun little shounen fight scene anymore #and you realize that this is the worst possible thing that could've ever happened to steven- truly giving himself over to the offensive #like god damn holy SHIT i cannot wait for this reactor to eventually get there #bc his reaction to steven having to stab a sword clear through bismuth was VISCERAL #and i just KNOW it'll be the same at That Moment #and i CRAVE it #but i need to be patient ahahah #all in good time :)

[silverstarfics]

started writing a short fic. it’s turned into an entire angst fest. I don’t know how this keeps happening and I should probably stop projecting onto a certain character but OH WELL

#me (writing the aquarium fic): this is going to be a one shot #you guys: oh scott is so sad i want to hug him #me (already writing more): OH THANK GOD PEOPLE ARE INVESTED #I aim to have the first chapter up later this week but we will see #I’ve been going insane trying not to talk about this one #because I didn’t want to mention it until I was 2/3s of the way through and knew it would actually get finished #oopsie scotty got hit by the angst train again

[drukhari]

Would u ever post a pic of u and the longsword 👀 asking for all the lesbians out there

Dysphoria has been a bitch lately but here's a few from today since I spent about 4.5 hours doing HEMA with my club earlier and had an absolute blast

#me #the sword im using here is actually Lily's - the one I want is out of stock rn so I usually train with a spare that a friend has #the swords we use for sparring and training are not sharpened and have dull tips because safety is first priority #but it still hurts like a bitch to take a hit with one - even through the protective gear you have to wear #unrelated but you would not believe how hard it is to get a selfie with a longsword fully in frame lmao

[hallastudies]

when lee ji ahn said “i don't like him. i want to ruin him.” but park dong hoon said “you must have come to this neighborhood just to save me. i was on the verge of dying, but you were the one who saved me.” and lee dong sik said “my savior han joo won, who came to destroy my life.” and hideko said “the savior who came to destroy me. my tamako. my sookee”

#° mine. #° subject ／ film and photography. #° subject ／ literature and composition. #° tv ／ my ahjussi. #° tv ／ my mister. #° tv ／ beyond evil. #my ahjussi #my mister #beyond evil #the handmaiden #web weaving #( ° i'm sorry i've just been going feral over these things lately ) #( ° kindly ignore the fact that i have not watched The Handmaiden bc of its R-rated content ) #( ° and focus on the vibes ) #( ° bc when this hit me it was like a train wreck ) #( ° y'all could have taken me and placed me on the autopsy table and you still would not get as many signs of life ) #( ° as you would have after i put this all together ) #( ° anyway i'm going to cry in a corner about this ) #( ° join if you want to )

[the-busy-ghost]

Alright uninformed rant time. It kind of bugs me that, when studying the Middle Ages, specifically in western Europe, it doesn’t seem to be a pre-requisite that you have to take some kind of “Basics of Mediaeval Catholic Doctrine in Everyday Practise” class. 

Obviously you can’t cover everything- we don’t necessarily need to understand the ins and outs of obscure theological arguments (just as your average mediaeval churchgoer probably didn’t need to), or the inner workings of the Great Schism(s), nor how apparently simple theological disputes could be influenced by political and social factors, and of course the Official Line From The Vatican has changed over the centuries (which is why I’ve seen even modern Catholics getting mixed up about something that happened eight centuries ago). And naturally there are going to be misconceptions no matter how much you try to clarify things for people, and regional/class/temporal variations on how people’s actual everyday beliefs were influenced by the church’s rules. 

But it would help if historians studying the Middle Ages, especially western Christendom, were all given a broadly similar training in a) what the official doctrine was at various points on certain important issues and b) how this might translate to what the average layman believed. Because it feels like you’re supposed to pick that up as you go along and even where there are books on the subject they’re not always entirely reliable either (for example, people citing books about how things worked specifically in England to apply to the whole of Europe) and you can’t ask a book a question if you’re confused about any particular point. 

I mean I don’t expect to be spoonfed but somehow I don’t think that I’m supposed to accumulate a half-assed religious education from, say, a 15th century nobleman who was probably more interested in translating chivalric romances and rebelling against the Crown than religion; an angry 16th century Protestant; a 12th century nun from some forgotten valley in the Alps; some footnotes spread out over half a dozen modern political histories of Scotland; and an episode of ‘In Our Time’ from 2009. 

But equally if you’re not a specialist in church history or theology, I’m not sure that it’s necessary to probe the murky depths of every minor theological point ever, and once you’ve started where does it end? 

Anyway this entirely uninformed rant brought to you by my encounter with a sixteenth century bishop who was supposedly writing a completely orthodox book to re-evangelise his flock and tempt them away from Protestantism, but who described the baptismal rite in a way that sounds decidedly sketchy, if not heretical. And rather than being able to engage with the text properly and get what I needed from it, I was instead left sitting there like:

And frankly I didn’t have the time to go down the rabbit hole that would inevitably open up if I tried to find out

#This is a problem which is magnified in Britain I think as we also have to deal with the Hangover from Protestantism #As seen even in some folk who were raised Catholic but still imbibed certain ideas about the Middle Ages from culturally Protestant schools #And it isn't helped when we're hit with all these popular history tv documentaries #If I have to see one more person whose speciality is writing sensational paperbacks about Henry VIII's court #Being asked to explain for the British public What The Pope Thought I shall scream #Which is not even getting into some of England's super special common law get out clauses #Though having recently listened to some stuff in French I'm beginning to think misconceptions are not limited to Great Britain #Anyway I did take some realy interesting classes at uni on things like marriage and religious orders and so on #But it was definitely patchy and I definitely do not have a good handle on how it all basically hung together #As evidenced by the fact that I've probably made a tonne of mistakes in this post #Books aren't entirely helpful though because you can't ask them questions and sometimes the author is just plain wrong #I mean I will take book recommendations but they are not entirely helpful; and we also haven't all read the same stuff #So one person's idea of what the basics of being baptised involved are going to radically differ from another's based on what they read #Which if you are primarily a political historian interested in the Hundred Years' War doesn't seem important eonugh to quibble over #But it would help if everyone was given some kind of similar introductory training and then they could probe further if needed/wanted #So that one historian's elementary mistake about baptism doesn't affect generations of specialists in the Hundred Years' War #Because they have enough basic knowledge to know that they can just discount that tiny irrelevant bit #This is why seminars are important folks you get to ASK QUESTIONS AND FIGURE OUT BITS YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND #And as I say there is a bit of a habit in this country of producing books about say religion in mediaeval England #And then you're expected to work out for yourself which bits you can extrapolate and assume were true outwith England #Or France or Scotland or wherever it may be though the English and the French are particularly bad for assuming #that whatever was true for them was obviously true for everyone else so why should they specify that they're only talking about France #Alright rant over #Beginning to come to the conclusion that nobody knows how Christianity works but would like certain historians to stop pretending they do #Edit: I sort of made up the examples of the historical people who gave me my religious education above #But I'm now enamoured with the idea of who actually did give me my weird ideas about mediaeval Catholicism #Who were my historical godparents so to speak #Do I have an idea of mediaeval religion that was jointly shaped by some professor from the 1970s and a 6th century saint? #Does Cardinal Campeggio know he's responsible for some much later human being's catechism? #Fake examples again but I'm going to be thinking about that today

[hrokkall]

The universe heard you had coursework and decided that everything cool and exciting needed to happen right now (mood)

- 🥊

HEAD IN MY HANDS

#EVERY DAY I LET THIS ASK SIT IN MY INBOX IT GETS MORE TRUE #WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERE'S A NEW SOUNDS OF NIGHTMARES TODAY #AND THE TMA TABLETOP GAME STARTED CROWDFUNDING #AND THE ULTRAKILL TRAIN LEVEL I'M STILL SHORT-CIRCUITING OVER #BUT NO. I HAVE TRIGONOMETRY. (I don't actually dislike math for the record I just like hitting things with the autism beam much more) #I did listen to sounds of nightmares 3 while drawing this so WIN. It's fantastic btw;I want to talk about it but the thoughts are Everywher #Also I rarely draw my sona here whoops. Here's what I look like. Added antennae because I've been having too much fun doodling iterators #Re: Inbox #🥊 anon #Hrokkall Sketch

[melit0n]

.

#tw vent #I am so. so tired #this week hit me like a freight train #I have final coursework to hand in in less than a week and I'm stressing because I was most definitely not given enough time to do it #and everything inside me is telling me I'm going to fail and I'm pretty sure my teachers think so as well #all my friends are high achievers who always get high grades and put their soul into their work and then there's me. Constantly failing #I try so hard but no matter what I do I never make any progress and I'm afraid I'm going to be stuck here #and that eventually my friends will move on academically and maybe socially and I'll be left behind and feel like a scared kid again #I can't go outside for a walk to try and calm myself down because I fucked up my ankle #and I got laid off one of my jobs which means I'm also stressing about being able to actually eat and on top of that I'm stressing about -> #getting another job because otherwise I can't eat or pay gas or shit #so I'm sat here in my room surrounded by work and I can't go outside and I can't leave my room because my roommate has friends around and #I just want to explode #I'm getting to the point where I'm just being unproductive because all I do is sit in bed and rot #and if I'm not doing that I'm working or I'm at school #and of course I can't even sleep. I can't even rest for a moment #this is shit man #so utterly shit #mel's thoughts