#i'm really trying to make myself feel better here but only with things that'll do it instantly

[newwave-lesbian]

they really did just give me all of the dogshit mental illnesses, huh

#i mean what mental illness isn't dosghit #anyways the reason why my depression meds probably don't work is because i'm bipolar #that's what my therapist thinks anyways. and it makes sense considering the lil manic episodes i have #so um. that fucking sucks but it also explains everything so its fine really #like i really really want to do drugs actually #i mean i am just so sad and empty feeling #i'm working on art but nothing i'm making means anything #can i just get permission to do a shit ton of stimulants #i am sooooooo bored #i'm really trying to make myself feel better here but only with things that'll do it instantly #anyways i want to not smoke because i am running out of weed and money #but i'm gonna smoke delta 8 anyways rn because even after all this caffeine etc i feel nothing and i need something #honestly can i just pass away though. i am so pathetic #or can i actually become hypo manic again. because at least i felt something #anyways does anyone want to be friends with me even though i am severely mentally ill #or can someone give me some dopamine/serotonin. i feel like shit #vent

[jkslipppiercing]

So show me | Part 1 | jjk

♡ summary: your boyfriend has always been a fan of PDA, unlike you.

♡ genre: angsty, not really fluffy, a lot of frustration, miscommunication

♡ pairing: boyfriend!jk, frustrated!jk, whipped!jk

♡ warnings: oc is self-conscious, both of them are severely frustrated, not much in this lol, little bit of cursing, y/n is super horny, suggestive content.

♡ WC: 2.5K.

♡ a/n: well hello again! i'm back lol. this is the first part of the "show me" series! i hope you like it <333 this is my first go at angst, and im trying to ease myself into it 😭😭 i have zero clue as to what im doing please help <3

▪︎ general taglist

▪︎ index

▪︎ previous/next

enjoy!!

"That'll be $22.50."

You smile sweetly at the cashier, opening your purse to pay.

Handing over the money with a grin, you thank her.

"Can I get it gift-wrapped, please? That would be great."

Christmas is about a week away, and the holiday vibes are clear as stockings and ornaments hang on every wall of the store. Decorated christmas trees shine with bright colorful lights and the festivity of the shop you're in makes you feel warm on the inside, in addition to the amazing smell of cinnamon.

On that note...why does it smell so good in here?

Christmas has always been your favorite holiday, multiple reasons why. one of the many is spending time with your loved ones...and buying them gifts.

Something about seeing them so happy just makes you feel happier by ten-fold.

The cashier smiles in return before she nods, holding the item as she turns her back to you and starts wrapping.

Meanwhile, you take the time to admire the little details of every single decoration-taking it all in- just when you feel a presence behind you.

Jungkook steps close, engulfing you in a tight embrace and humming softly. You welcome the feeling of security, humming back at his body warmth as he back-hugs you.

"Hey baby."

you giggle. "Hi."

"You done shopping?" He asks from above you, his chin pressing into the tip of your head. He had drifted off earlier on and left you to do your shopping, telling you to call for him if you needed any help.

"Yep. I asked for gift wrapping. Should be done in a few."

"Mmm, good."

Jungkook hums, dipping his head down. he inches towards your neck, resting into the crook of it and humming in a deeper- more suggestive- manner.

The sole sound has you kind of- blushing? Even though your cheeks never got that red, your eyes water and your breath hitches. You call it 'blushing' in your book.

He always does that kind of hum when you're doing a good job pleasing him...stuffing his cock-

His hands that were once wrapped around your arms and trapping you now release, only to circle around your waist instead, this time more intimately.

You love these kinds of moments, though you can't help but notice that the cashier is almost done wrapping your gift.

You find your eyes glued to her movements, almost anxious.

Jungkook's hand inshes dangerously close to your tit, and you grow slightly self-conscious in response, eyes still set strictly on the cashier's hands.

Her seeing you and your boyfriend in this situation would be kind of...awkward?

It's not that you don't appreciate the affection, you've just been more of a private person. Always loved to show love when alone, but never been a fan to do so publicly.

Jungkook, though? If PDA (Public Display of Affection) was a person? It would definitely be him.

Trying to voice out your thoughts, you whisper to him.

"Jungkook."

"Hm?" Again, that oh-so-beautifully-deep hum.

Fuck.

He snuggles his head even deeper into the crook of your neck, making it harder for you to think.

"We're in public."

He raises his head a tad bit, so you can hear him better.

"We're the only people here."

"Still, the employee could find it uncomfortable-"

"Are you uncomfortable?"

You're not.

You love jungkook.

Of course you're not uncomfortable.

You just care about people's opinions...a little too much.

Privacy is your thing, and you've always stuck to it- making sure not to make anybody feel a certain type of-

"Oh."

When you take too long to respond, your bad habit of overthinking the simplist of things pulling you under, jungkook's arms slip and waver.

He stays silent.

Jungkook was never silent.

He completely untangles and detaches himself from you.

"That's not-" You try to explain yourself, but the cashier beats you to it as they turn around and walk over to you.

"Here you go."

You accept the neatly wrapped box and thank her, rushing to leave. Your breath catches in your throat when you see jungkook already through the exit of the store.

You fucked up.

---

Under any other circumstances, you would've welcomed the pitter patter of the rain against the car's surface with wide, open arms.

But instead, you want to shrink; let the world split in half and swallow you whole.

Jungkook hasn't said a single word since you've left that store.

He went straight to his car, waited for you, then directly drove off as soon as you got into the car with him.

Not. A single. Word.

You observe him, taking note of how automatic- distant- his actions are. With one hand on the steering wheel, he rests the other on the armrest as he stares straight ahead. It's like he can feel your gaze burning a hole to the side of his face, but he's numb to the heat. Your eyes beg his own to look, but his are deaf...far; so far away.

You shouldn't have stayed quiet.

Mentally groaning at your stupidity, you lean your head against the window.

The rest of the ride home is silent.

---

"Jungkook."

No answer.

"You can't keep ignoring me like this."

Well, he can.

He proves that to you when he lets the barbell join the floor with a hard thud.

Only a small grunt of triumph escapes him, but otherwise; silence.

He hasn't spoken to you.

He parked the car under your apartment building- in its usual spot- exiting the car and heading to your home.

-silently.

He entered the apartment and left the door open for you, changed into his usual workout attire, and headed into his personal gym.

-silently.

It has been an hour since he's been in here, not sparing any effort to check on you.

You're getting quite frustrated with him. It's just- unreasonable.

He has his reasons for acting this way- you'll give him that- but where'd all the communication go?

You've been with Jungkook for well over a year now, and it feels weird; whatever this is. It hasn't ever happened before, probably because a similar situation has never occured.

You'd always hold hands in public, and it was never a problem for you.

But as a first real relationship...guess you were growing self-conscious about it.

What if they saw?

Will they speak?

Your train of thought cuts off as the sulking man grunts again, this time louder; intended to grasp your attention back to him.

He must've seen you zoning out.

"Enough, Jungkook."

Your words leave a tangy taste on your tongue. You really don't want to argue with him what-so-ever, but this is ridiculous.

he's being ridiculous.

You two could've talked it out to figure what the problem was- you should.

Instead, you're running after a person that keeps looking back to make sure you're still there.

He wants you to feel like you're genuinely being ignored, which is just- again- unreasonable.

Okay, the earlier...incident hurt him a little bit- and maybe a little more than that- that much is evident.

Jungkook merely scoffs at your words,

yet again ignoring you.

Fucking hell,

he's actually pissing you off.

"Giving me the silent treatment?" Your eyes sharpen with challenge, and his own light up with one of their own.

He leaves whatever he was doing to cross his arms and properly stare you down, almost belittling you- no, not almost, he is.

You've always known just how much Jungkook loves a challenge.

"Fine by me." Your smile is so sweet- but it's wrong. It's not the kind of smile he's used to.

And with that, you exit the gym, grab a random book, make yourself a cup of coffee, and prepare yourself for the long night ahead.

---

It's been...two hours.

Two long hours of utter torture.

And you've read a total of five pages.

Dammit.

Instead of reading, you're embarrassed to admit how instensely you've been ogling him for two hours straight.

He's just so hot.

The way he lifts weights like they're nothing.

The way his groans and grunts fill up the quiet space- and the whole entirety of your thoughts, leading them to other, much more sexual, places.

The way those exact sounds resemble the ones he's likely to make during sex.

You can basically feel your underwear sticking to you, your arousal evident.

For the first time since you've sat on this bench, stubbornly so, with your book and cup of coffee, he flicks a gaze over you.

Indifferently.

It makes your blood boil.

Your eyes lock.

his cold,

yours set ablaze by intense emotions of frustration.

You rip your gaze away from him to set it on your book, only to look back up at him two seconds later.

He slings a towel over his shoulder, grabs a bottle of water and unscrews the lid.

gently placing the bottle on his lips, he opens his mouth and chugs a mass of water all at once.

He repeats the motion once...twice... and your eyes are glued to the way his adam's apple bobs.

A thick lump forms in your throat, your breaths quickening. Must be...horniness.

You take the chance to properly look at him;

hair ruffled, body hot, muscles bulged.

Theres a slight sheen of sweat highlighting his neck, and a vein pops out from the way he's angling his neck up.

Your senses heighten.

He sets the bottle down, only to turn to you.

You try your best to hide the hormones.

Your eyes then trail down his neck to his collarbones, and you almost drool.

Scratch that, you're definitely drooling.

He looks fucking divine.

Well, of course.

He always does.

He looks as divine as it feels to love him.

You've always loved Jungkook. You still do. From the moment he waltzed into your heart with no foul intention and swept it off its feet, you knew you were absolutely done for.

Wrecked,

Ruined,

No longer containing any available capacity in your whole being to love anyone else.

Anyone but him. Even saying you love him more than you do yourself wouldn't be over-exaggerating...it would be true.

Call it obsession?

So be it.

A subtle scoff turns your attention back to him; body erect and all guarded up, his body language almost makes you tense up yourself.

You know for a damn straight fact that this is going to lead to an unpleasant conversation- even more so an argument- but whatever it is that's sizzling between you two like static electricity needs to die down.

It was never like this.

Tension,

Frustration,

Miscommunication.

"Bold of you to stare at me like that." His eyes never leave yours a second when he speaks.

He locks his hands behind his neck and rests them on his nape. His forearms bulge, and your eyes physically hurt from how hard they're trying not to gape at him.

Knocking his head back, he stares at you through his lashes with hooded lids and the most beautiful dark eyes.

You would've found the sight quite attractive- you do- but the subtle dig aimed at your staring attracts your attention more.

"Better get used to it, then." You stand, maintaining a protective stance yourself.

You're not angry, or...defensive, thought you might be a little shameless.

You just want this to end. For everything to go back to the way it was.

He smirks.

Your eyes harden.

"Oh yeah?" He lazily strides in your direction, and you cross your arms, almost acting nonchalantly.

Your irritation is evident and so is his, but the tension is so heavy on your shoulders, it makes your muscles tense.

His steps shorten until he's only a few feet away.

Not too close,

Not too far,

Yet feels like hundreds of miles apart.

"Wonder where that's coming from."

"Guess you'll have to find out."

This time, it's you who smirks when a sudden spark of challenge ignites in his irises.

"What i'd like to find out," He lowers his voice, his tone calm; in contrast to the dark storm reflecting the thoughts of his mind through dark, fogged up orbs. "...is what the hell on earth it was that happened today."

You stare at him, contemplating your options.

"I felt self-conscious."

The response is quick, but you're satisfied. You want to be completely honest. That's the best way to go at it.

You notice how he blanks out before you look away. Almost like he's fighting with himself over what to think of the response, his eyes portray the most intense feelings of complexity.

Quickly covering the slight feeling of confusion with frustration, his brows tug together, and in another context, you would've found the action to be adorable.

"Self-conscious? About us? What-" He scrambles to understand, and your eyes widen by an inch. "-are you- like- not sure about us? Anymore?"

"What does that have to do with anything?" You directly jump to answer his questions with one of your own. Your own brows join together, and the frustration builds further.

"Fuck, y/n." He gives you his back, walking in the opposite direction.

"What- I didn't even mean it like that!" Your voice raises slightly, purely in expression of desperation.

Why is this so complicated? It wasn't even that big of a deal.

He looks at you over his shoulder, his features bitter.

"How did you mean it then?" He scoffs, but his words come out quiet, serious, and clear of sarcasm. They come out hurt.

"Look- I just-" You take a deep breath, staring at the floor. "I don't want to fight."

You look at his feet, directing your gaze to a place where your mind doesn't feel overwhelmed. When you look at him, you want to look at his eyes, nose, lips...all of him. When you look at him, you see nothing but him. The whole world disappears when you do.

When you look at him,

You can't think about anything but how much you love him.

And right then it's like the whole world stops.

Like it's just you and him, in this gym, with nothing and no one else but each other.

"Fight?" His eyes rage with a thousand different broken emotions all fighting over dominance at once.

He shifts closer to you, only eager to show you the true weight of his love for you.

His index finger hooks under your chin and tilts it up to meet his eyes, only making your breath catch.

"I'd drop to my knees and beg if you wanted me to."

You feel your eyes water. There's nothing you could possibly think to say to him in this moment, except...

"I love you."

He returns a sad smile.

"Show me."

He cups your cheek.

Strokes it with his thumb, once.

Twice.

And in his presence remains a cool gust of air as his touch lingers and leaves a fire awakening.

Just then you realize: the fire that seems to spread further and further is that of love, nestled in between the teeny crooks and tiny nooks of your heart; the wildfire seemingly one of pleasurable pain.

Gone is jungkook, and welcomed is the loneliness as you hear the shower turn on.

@hoseokteardrop @nochuel @kaitieskidmore97 @nays2112 @jksoftii @yu-justme @meadow-in-spring @bunnykoos @looneybleus @fushigurosdarling @alpha-mommy69 @junecat18 @xjiminsthighsx @tanniesdolls @winterbeartaehyungbestboy @whoa-jo @ahgasegotarmy116 @jksusawife @frgetmenotz @baechugff @partyparty-yah @army130613210521 @drugerlime @allisonstone @hopekive @llallaaa @tarahardcore @hopetookmysoul @betysotelo18 @harmonic55 @ecrvea @awesomebabyyoda @peterstarkchrishiddleston @pinkrockstar19 @sweetestseoul @luv--youu @mochminnie @coletaehyung @whitelies2248-blog @ash07128 @bangtans-momma @yourbobaeyestell @laylasbunbunny @btsnpniff @olimpiiaa

next

hope you liked it! dont hesitate to share your opinion <3

#jeon jungkook #jungkook jeon #jjk #jungkook #bts fanfiction #jungkook ff #jungkook x reader #jungkook fanfic #angst #jungkook angst #jungkook twoshot #twoshot #<3

[mrs-santoss]

I miss you - Neymar Imagine

Summary:

Neymar is in Qatar for the World Cup, and you haven't been able to travel there yet because of work. You Facetime each other every night, he needs your support every day. I get home and throw my bag and jacket on the couch, and I run to pick up my laptop to call Ney. I don't even bother to change into something more comfortable first. I click on his contact, and he answers in a matter of seconds. His cute face pops up on the screen, making me tear up. It's been 3 weeks since I last saw him in person. "Hellooo, linda. I miss you," he blurts out immediately, making his cute puppy face; he knows I can't resist. "Hii, meu anjo. I miss you too. How are you? "Are you feeling better since the injury?" I say back to him, smiling now that I'm talking to him after a stressful day at work. "Yeah, it's healing finally. "I'm hoping to be on the next game after this one," he responds. "You will, bebê." You'll come back stronger than ever. I'm actually very excited to tell you that I have booked a ticket to Qatar. I leave in 3 days, so I will be there to see you play the next game." I say, waiting for his response. "YOU WILL? Why didn't you say that sooner? Oh, god, finally! I have missed you so much. I need your hug very badly." he says excitedly after hearing the news and blows me a kiss through the camera. "I wanted to surprise you right now. I miss your presence here so much. Things have gotten very stressful at work, which is why I couldn't take a break earlier. But, I'm going to be there in a few days, everything is perfect, don't worry about me, bebê." I say, I don't want him to worry about me and lose his focus on the competition. "Y/N, meu amor. You work so hard, you need to take a break sometimes. "Your time here will help you relax also." He says this to me in a comforting manner.

I tear up a little bit. I miss his touch, his smell, his voice, everything. This is supposed to be harder for him than me, he's the one away from home. I can't let him know I'm sad, that'll just make him worry, but he always sees through me. "Y/N?" he asks after a brief silence to which I do not respond.

"Bebê? Can you look at me? He says trying to make me lift my head up so he can talk to me.

I blink a few times, trying to make myself more presentable before I look into his eyes.

"Yes, Ney?" i say back to him.

"Please, don't cry, meu amor. It'll only be 3 more days before we see each other." He says, he wants to comfort me and lighten the mood. "I know, Ney. I'm sorry, I'm just extremely tired, and you not being here makes it 100% worse." I say back at him, now more calm than before. "Why don't we fall asleep "together" tonight too? I can see you're still wearing your work clothes, go change into something comfortable and lay on the bed." he says while also getting ready to go to bed himself. "Of course, amor. I'll be right back." I say and I put the laptop on the bed in the bedroom. I get something comfortable to wear from Ney's closet, obviously. Before he left for Qatar, I "stole" a few hoodies from him so I can still smell him after he's gone. I put on an oversized black hoodie with nothing but underwear since It's warm at night and the hoodie covers my butt. I run to the bathroom really quickly to wash my face. After I'm done, I go back to the bed seeing Neymar already done this his routine laying in his bed waiting for me. "I'm back, amor." I say while getting under the covers and placing the laptop on Ney's side of the bed facing me. "Aww, meu anjo. You are wearing my hoodie." he says to me in a cute voice. "Yesss, this makes me feel less lonely." i say back to him.

Neymar's POV:

I could tell she was exhausted from the moment she called me. It broke my heart a little, but I felt much better when she told me she would be here in a few days. Her voice calms me down, and her eyes make me forget every burden in my life. I wanted her to get a good sleep, so I told her to go change and lay on the bed. I did the same night routine much faster than she did, as always, and I laid back on my hotel bed waiting for her. When she came back, she was wearing my favorite black hoodie, which she "stole" from me. She looked extremely cute and cozy; I would just hop on a plane right now and lay there next to her. I was talking to her about my day when I realized my voice was putting her to sleep, so I kept talking. She was only responding with "mhm" or nodding her head. I keep talking until I hear her cute little snore from the laptop. "Sweet dreams, meu anjo. I can't wait to see you. Good night!" I say that to her even though she's passed out by now. I put my head on the pillow myself and fell asleep to her beautiful face and cute snores.

#neymar imagine #neymar x reader #neymar imagines #neymar #neymar masterlist #neymar jr #neymar jr imagine #neymar jr imagines #neymar jr fanfiction #neymar jr x reader #football imagine #football imagines #football masterlist #fanfiction #imagines #mbappe imagine #mbappe x reader #mbappe imagines

[wtheckzukasubs]

Why I've been away

I've been postponing this post for reasons of having to write it, and I'm glad I didn't do it before because it would have probably sounded much worse.

You've probably noticed I haven't been releasing much, and for the same reason I haven't been replying most of the messages I get, so I thought I should be more honest with all of you.

Be warned for drama, or just skip to the end for the news. Or just scroll down to the next post.

Of course the state of Takarazuka doesn't make me so happy. Even if we don't touch the elephant in the room since the end of September, so many of my favorites are leaving this year. Sora is taidaning at this very moment actually. People leaving without having been able to shine their most is just the bitterest part of this, though Sora still got to do a whole lot, unlike my other favorites leaving. Too bad she had her chance too late for more. From time to time, Takarazuka makes me feel like it doesn't want me following, and with everything happening irl, it's even harder. However, that hasn't been the reason for my distance from here.

I haven't been well in my mind. I wasn't fine before because of how unstable my job was and how I couldn't find something else no matter how many resumés I sent out, and then I eventually did lose my job, and still couldn't get anything. It's been almost a year now. A whole year of questioning my whole life path, of trying to follow each advice and still not get anything. So yeah, I'm far far far from being well. I'm lucky enough I get to live with my parents even if that is also some curse when you don't have an alternative when it becomes too much. I'll stop here because you probably got the picture already and this is making my mind go places.

And no, I'm not here to ask for money lol Anyway, everyone in the fandom already helps me enough with anything I ask. I'm really grateful!

The intention is to first, let you know I'm not gone. I busy like crazy trying to stay together, and the times I'm not, I'm simply drained from living my life. So even if I did have projects I could be working on, I can't do it as much as when I was feeling better. For you to have an idea of how my rhythm has been, Yukinojo was the only one I did since I lost my job. However, I also still don't have the resources to fulfill the commitments I've made—Blackjack, missing the closed captions because Sky Stage never shows it, and Flügel, missing the script—so there is that too. It's the reason I dared try Yukinojo actually. (Though deep down I'm just too sad about Reiko's taidan to be going actively after it all...)

In sum, here's the state of things,

Blackjack - waiting for Sky Stage to get it back from war

Flügel - I don't have the script yet

Hoshi's Memy - some have asked me if I'll do this one. Hibiscus is already working on adapting the subs, so I'm gladly sitting out lol

Hanafubuki, Koi Fubuki - I've checked these subs so long ago and I still haven't gotten myself to work on the release. Shame on me.

Ai, Futatsu (from Yukigeshiki) - I was timing the Koma version to Chigi's so I could check them and see if I could get some more words, as I've done this by ear, then I ended up changing so much of the translation I'll have to retime them back to Koma's. Who knows when that'll happen... Even though it's just an hour long show, the lines are sooooo long and quick and crazy, speeding the video up to time faster won't do.

Prisoners of the Lilac Walls - unless you like checking my Next page, this will probably be news to you, but I've been low-key wanting to work on it for a long time. Now I've finally fulfilled my dream of finishing Yukinojou, I thought I could try this one. I'm doing Teru's version (the Bow one) solely by ear. I'm far enough to know I will release it so just have to cross your fingers I don't need to fanfic my way out of the ???'s. Despite the Nazi parts, it's a nice story, and I fell in love with Beni and Otoha since the first time I watched this. I know it's years too late, but I hope you can see what I saw.

Next? I've got my eyes on this or that, but I'm always hoping someone else will do it instead, so I'd better not say it and let others thinking I'm claiming anything.

Anyway, thank you a lot for following this blog, for your words, for your reblogs, for your messages. I'll do my best not procrastinate replying.

[tiktokitssinoclock]

Weight- Marc Spector

... ʰᵉʸ ᵉᵛᵉʳʸᵒⁿᵉ.

No I'm not dead, and no I really wasn't that busy until the semester started up. I fell off the writing wagon a few months ago and still kind of feel that way. Just recently I've been working on some stuff again so I hope I'll get back into the flow of things soon, but I don't want to risk burn out. I won't be posting as often as I used to, but I'll still post sporadically here and there. Hopefully that changes as inspiration comes back to me! :)

SFW// Minors and ageless blogs, DNI // You will be blocked

Summary:

You have a really important day tomorrow, but can't get to sleep for the life of you. Fortunately, Marc has the perfect suggestion.

Word Count:

1.5K

Warnings/Triggers:

None

One of the things you loved about the boys' place was the sounds of the traffic around the building. The soft 'whoosh' of cars as they passed by, the muted squeaks of tires cruising along on wet pavement when it rained, the surprisingly welcome harmony of whiny breaks and car horns when a light turned red. Steven had his complaints about it, and while you could sympathize with him, you yourself never truly minded. It worked almost like a noise machine in the flat, the London hubbub providing a constant hum in the background.

Tonight, however, as you found yourself laying quite awake, you were starting to better understand what he meant. Every time you closed your eyes, trying in vain to get some sleep, the smallest noises from the street were trying their damnedest to get you to open them again.

The hardly audible road rage between two people might as well have been an argument just outside in the hallway. The chirp of a parked car getting locked seemed to echo throughout the room. Hell, even the slamming of a car door was almost enough to make your ears pop.

You let out a quiet sigh as you continued to catch bits and pieces of the ongoing squabble, pinching your eyes shut before opening them once more in defeat. Of all the nights for the sounds of distant traffic to fail you...

Sweat was beading on your brow but you opted to ignore it, the usually inviting cotton sheets feeling much too warm. You tossed over onto your side, your nails digging into the pillow in your grasp as you tried to focus on the sound of Marc's slow, even breaths.

There wasn't much else to distract your gaze from straying, which wasn't helping, either. Like a moth to a flame, you find yourself stealing glances at the laptop perched on Steven's crammed desk. Again and again, however, you forced yourself to stare at the wall beside you. You were playing a game of cat and mouse, it felt like, and the universe was doing everything in its power to work against you.

Your usual white noise was practically blaring. You'd long since kicked the sheets off your body, the material bunched awkwardly at your feet. The sliver of moonlight peeking through the blinds glinted off the laptop's reflective case, only drawing your attention towards it even more.

You found yourself staring at it again before you could help yourself, eyes squinting in annoyance as you chewed the inside of your cheek.

A few more minutes wouldn't hurt.

As you slowly began to sit up, knuckling the sleep out of your eyes, your mind was already racing with things to do.

I haven't got the numbers from quarter two completely memorized yet, and it wouldn't look good if I have to keep referencing that slide during the meeting. And honestly, I don't know what I was thinking adding all those slide transitions. I'll have to edit them out. Maybe I'll pack a quick lunch for myself, too, that way I can just eat at my desk instead of having to pop over to the cafeteria. Yeah, that'll give me more time to finalize everything.

Your legs swung over the side of the bed as you lazily rolled your shoulders, a few satisfying 'pop's greeting you.

I could probably iron out my outfit, as well. I'll never hear the end of it from Jen if there's a wrinkle in my top when I'm presenting. God forbid clothing does what clothes are known to do-

Before you had the opportunity to stand up, however, you felt the weight of the mattress suddenly shift. A pair of arms wrapped around your waist, lips warm with sleep meeting the back of your neck.

"Where're you going?" Marc mumbled against your skin, his voice sleep logged.

You refrained from leaning back into his touch, fingers lightly circling around Marc's wrists.

"Bathroom," you offered, shooting him a reassuring smile over your shoulder.

When he was barely awake, Marc seemed much... softer than usual. His hair was lightly tussled, bits and piecing sticking out in various directions. The usual bags under his eyes didn't seem so pronounced, the gleam in his gaze ever present. You could stare at him for hours, it felt like. The only things tarnishing the view, however, were how his eyebrows began pulling together and the way his lips were pressed in a thin line. Despite just waking up, he was onto what you were up to in an instance.

"I'll only be up a few minutes."

"No you won't."

You could only look at him for a moment before finally speaking again.

"Don't be silly," you said, gently pulling yourself out of his grasp.

"Honestly Marc, I'll be back. You need the sleep and- hey!"

Marc ignored your protests, pulling you in until your back was pressed against his chest and he could lazily throw his leg over both of yours. His cheek pressed itself against the back of your shoulder, each of his soft exhales fanning across your neck. You ignored the goosebumps his breath left in its wake, the frown on your face deepening.

"Marc."

"Hmm?"

"Please let me go."

"So you can agonize over your keyboard until the sun comes up? Why would I do that?"

"Because I'm stressing out- and rightfully so. There are so many ways I could be productive right now and instead I'm just... I'm laying here."

You sucked in a deep breath.

"I'm not getting to sleep at this rate. I might as well make something of my time."

"That's a horrible idea," Marc replied bluntly, his voice still tired.

"How so?"

"Because-"

Marc interrupted himself with a groan as he gave a stretch, nonchalantly readjusting his position.

"You're gonna tell yourself 'Oh, I'll just review this and I'll be done', right? Then that'll turn into 'I'll rearrange some things real quick' or 'I should make a better version of this table' or whatever else you think up."

You couldn't see his face, but you could practically feel one of his eyebrows arch.

"Am I wrong?"

Too stubborn to confirm or deny his train of thought, even though he was very much correct, you only locked your jaw and sat in continued silence. This hardly phased Marc, however, so he continued.

"You'll just keep changing and adding, changing and adding, until you've got an entirely new presentation you're unfamiliar with. Then by the time you have to present it, you'll get overwhelmed and trip up because its nothing like what you practiced with. You'll be tired, too, which doesn't help. That's what happened last time, from my understanding."

You leaned further into Marc's chest, appreciating the feel of his skin against your own, and let out a heavy sigh.

"Things have to go perfectly to make up for that. I want to prove to them that I can do better."

Another kiss pressed itself against your skin.

"And you will, if you get some rest."

"I... I just can't. I'm all wired up right now and I don't know if I'll be able to get any sleep."

Marc was silent for a beat, only giving you a low 'hmm' in response. Several minutes had passed and you almost thought he had drifted off before he was speaking again.

"What if I laid on you?"

You rolled your eyes with a scoff, earning a chuckle from the man.

"No, not like that. What if I literally laid on you?"

You frowned, turning in your boyfriend's grasp to better face him. his tired eyes and a small smile greeted you.

"I don't see how that would help."

"It would be kind of like using my body as a weighted blanket. I think you mentioned having one in your apartment, right?"

You considered it for a moment, silently appreciating the way his thumb drew small circles on your hip. It was true- you did have a weighted blanket you often made use of back in your flat. And you would be lying to yourself if you said you didn't regret bringing it with you...

"You can say no if you want. It's just a suggestion."

"I know."

You toyed with your bottom lip, pondering the idea. What did you have to loose in trying?

"Let's give it a go, then."

"Fine by me."

Marc briefly released his hold on you only so he could roll himself on top of you, resting his head in the crook of your neck before he let his arms lazily circle you once again. You hummed contently at the shift in pressure Marc's weight provided, an instantaneous calm buzzing through your limbs. After several quiet moments of laying together like that, both your rapid heartbeat and breathing finally slowing, he groggily spoke.

"Better?"

"Mmm hmm."

"Good."

Just a few minutes later and the two of you had peacefully drifted off, the noise from the busy streets below falling on blissfully deaf ears.

#moon knight #marc spector #marc spector x reader #moon boys

[theshippingqueens-blog]

post dsod fic

As the weeks went by i continued to visit Atem and just hang around with him.As the time went by i found myself feeling different twords Atem a good kind of feeling that sent butterflies flying and my heart a flutter. I sighed as i walked into Kiba's offce slumping down into a chair theses feelings were really taking a toll on me. "Whats wrong with you?" Kiba asked looking up from his screen. "mmmph" i said not wanting to respond."Yuugi what's going on?" He asked again. "Atem and I have done a lot of stuff together over like the past month and i'm starting to feel different toward him." I muttered slumping further down into the chair. "And thats so bad how?" He asked crossing his arms over his chest."He's my fried kiba if i'm starting to feel non platonically towards him that'll mess everything up and that's how i've been feeling and a lot of the stuff he says or does effects that as well and it makes it better in a bad way." I said a blush treating to creep onto my face."Look Yuugi i don't really care about any love interests or anything but i can give you advice. Let yourself fall in love and if you know how you feel then tell him don't hide your feelings it'll make things harder for you.So if you go to see him today tell him how you feel." Kiba said giving me a tiny smile.Wow i had no idea kiba would ever say something like that for me. "Thank you For your help Kiba-kun your such a good help." I said smiling. "Don't mention it." He said giving me a small smile as i left his office. ~With Atem~ As i walked into the royal garden i saw Atem sitting there a small flower in his hands. I smiled and joined him. "Oh hello Aibou." He said smiling "Hey." I said giving him a friendly smile.He stuck the flower behind my ear then he cupped my cheek. "You look so adorable." He muttered kissing my cheek making my whole face turn scarlet. "T-thank Y-you." i said smiling making him chuckle. "Oh Aibou your so cute when you blush." EEEK this makes it even harder to say something! I took a deep breath trying to calm my blushing face as quickly as possible. "Hey Atem why do you kiss me everytime i come around or leave?" I started. I don't want to go full blown into my feelings right away i slowly wanted to work up to that. His whole face seemed to loses color. A small dust of pink could be seen on his face. "I-Its a tradtion here in Eygpt its like say hello or goodbye to someone." He said a little shaky. "Is everything alright?" I asked concerned. A shacky sigh escaped his lips. "No… Look Aibou i care for you and respect you so much but thats not all i've noticed things i shouldn't be feeling towards you and its hard to say things that may offend you. Yuugi your my best friend my Aibou but i don't wanna harm out long friendship." What happened to the strong fearless pharoh I know and love? I saw a small tear leave his eye. "When I left I didn't realize what i was leaving behind. When i saw you after the battle with Diva i couldn't have been any happier. You were standing on your own two feet without me and that was truly incredible.Yet I still couldn't bear the fact I wasn't there with you. To be able to love you like you were the only living being in the whole wide world." He said tears flowing down his cheek. I felt like crying as well. I pulled him into a hug "Atem that is the most beautiful and cheesy thing someone ever said to me but you know what? I loved it because I love you too." I said smiling "Really?" He asked looking into my eyes. "really." He kissed my cheek. "I love you Aibou." "And I love you Atem." And we lived happily Ever After ~The End~

this was soo cool to write its only a bit sorry

have an amazing day!

#pharaoh atem #yugi mutou #puzzleshipping #post dark side of demtions #yugioh duel monsters #yugioh

[chidoroki]

182 Days of TPN - Day 182

Epilogue: "Dreams Come True"

I'm gonna be honestly with y'all, no matter how many times I've read through this chapter over the last couple days to try and prepare myself, all my thoughts and comments are still so similar to what I originally wrote two years ago. I doubt anything I say now could top it but I'll apologize in advance if I really do sound like a broken record this time since my feelings regarding this beautiful finale really haven't changed since then. I'll start off with saying that I am a tiny bit bummed that we never got the chance to see the children explore the large city they arrived in, but the second season's ending slideshow sorta filled in that need for me. While the city is definitely a complete contrast to what they were used to living in back in the demon world, I love they all decided to create their own little village around where Emma lives. That'll definitely make her feel more at ease with being somewhere she's familiar with and I'm sure a majority of the kids fancy the wildlife surrounding them too, especially Ayshe and the dogs. Let's not forget how impressive it is that these kids were able to build so many houses on their own as well! And the idea of them taking turns to visit Emma so she doesn't get overwhelmed with so much attention at one given time makes me so happy. Speaking of our girl, she looks so pretty! She definitely looks like the Emma we've come to know and love with that big smile on her face (even if seeing her without her iconic 63194 still upsets me a little) while looking fondly at new photos of her large family. Sure, anyone in this world could've taken the photos, but of course I headcanon that it was Ray who purchased a new camera to do so.

Emma's face here is damn hysterical and Phil looks so proud of himself for surprising her. Seeing these young kids casually riding on top of a plane that large is truly quite a remarkable sight, but she had to at least hear that thing flying closer, yea? No way something that huge can sneak up on someone.

It is so darn cute how the younger kids act like buying a plane that size and flying it everywhere they go is totally normal. Their chill attitude has poor Emma completely speechless. I'm so proud of her for learning everyone's names though, not only by recognizing their faces but their voices too as she knew it was Phil calling to her from outside. Seeing Violet become a pilot is surprising but the job fits Oliver very well since he was typically seen holding onto a plane toy during numerous Goldy Pond flashbacks. Looks like he achieved his dream and I'm happy for him!

I'm even more excited to see Chris feeling 100% better and finally reuniting with Emma! It's sweet how he still loves her so much regardless her lost memories. I'm only noticing now but it appears Jemima even brought flowers for Emma? Ahh, these kids are too precious for words!

It's crazy how they're able to visit so many different places and experience countless new things all in the span of one single day, but I suppose traveling is pretty simple with a plane like that, not to mention how this world doesn't have any national borders to worry about. Seeing Yvette get inspiration and sketch everything she sees is adorable and of course you have Ray being the strict older sibling who makes sure everyone else behaves while out in public. I still wish more of the Goldy Pond kids were invited to join the trip, but I understand how meaningful it is to see all the GF escapees finally live out their dreams which they shared with us at the very beginning of the story.

One of the most ridiculous and funniest things this extra chapter reveals to us and Emma is how Norman became the leading man behind some huge multipurpose company. I know his motive was to act independently from the Ratri clan (which is fair because I wouldn't wanna rely on those bastards either) but at least have the company be a fresh idea in his mind or a little new, not hit us with his total success right outta the gate! I can accept this life for him further into the future for sure, but not at 15/16 years old! You're still a child sir! Dude must have really loved hearing others refer to him as "boss." Vincent would obviously be okay with that and I imagine Ray making fun of Norman each time, or jokingly calling him "emperor" like he did in one of volume 15's extra pages. Speaking of my boy, he looks way too chill and perhaps unbothered about this whole idea, or maybe he's just so used to his friends having crazy idea that he's become immune and knows deep down there's no way he can change their minds once they get this passionate about something. Even though this chapter is primarily focused on the GF children, it's nice to learn more about what Nigel and Sony are up to nowadays with their new roles.

Hearing how Norman was capable of skipping grades and essentially graduating is the most believable thing about this page. I'm sure the schools in the human world were nothing compared to the difficult tests he passed with ease at GF and Lambda. I'm relieved he and the rest of the Lambda crew are healthy as well, but I can't imagine him recovering while simultaneously constructing a large company from the ground up. Perhaps he focused on getting better first and then started on his career path, but then I'd have a harder time believing this boy managed to do so in less than two years, depending how long it took for him to fully recover beforehand. Norman is definitely a force to be reckoned with.

Moving onto everyone's wishes now and ooohhh my, the girls look simply gorgeous!! I love each of their outfits so very much! I especially like how often Anna has her hair up in that ponytail too. It suits her and she's beautiful! And it's adorable how she and Gilda pull Emma along with them so they can all take advantage of the 3-for-1 deal. Emma looks great in her new outfit too but I very much prefer her previous one, only because it's reminiscent of her GP out a little bit. So happy our little musician was able to witness an opera too. I've been to several Broadway plays and musicals before but seeing an opera is still on my checklist for sure.

I gotta give kudos to all the children because while it's certainly insane how they're hitting everyone's dreams all in one day, not once do they ever look exhausted. They're having the time of their lives and are beaming with excitement no matter if they're fulfilling their wish or someone else's. Some of their wishes are really simple too if ya think about it, like a handful are things us readers could try out for ourselves, but after all the drama they fought through in the demon world, they absolutely deserve to enjoy everything this world has to offer them. I'm once again loving Ray being that caring older brother who makes sure his younger siblings don't exert themselves. Not to mention how damn hilarious it is to see him not even flinch while touring the haunted house. After the traumatizing childhood he lived through and the wacko world of the Seven Walls, nothing should frighten my boy, so I'd like to imagine he only entered the haunted house to look out for the younger child like Rossi and Alicia who are absolutely regretting their life choices. What matters is that Yvette is loving every moment of her wish and possibly laughing at her sibling's expense.

Despite mentioning how we could visit such places ourselves, I have yet to actually go watch an official soccer game, visit a hot spring or eat lunch in such gardens. I mean, I visited such botanical gardens down in the city but not once have I ever had a fancy picnic there! These young kiddos are out here making me jealous for real. I still find it so amusing that Rossi, a child who had fled from actual demons before, is amazed by dinosaurs. I guess it would be interesting to see such creatures whether they're alive or not. As of this previous weekend I can say I finally rode one of those old style trains as well, but Phil is way more excited about the adventure than I could ever be. So glad this moment of his was sorta animated, though he wasn't bouncing in his seat as wildly as he is here.

Everyone has these grand experiences in mind for their wish and Norman is over here just vibing with his two favorite people. It's real definitely simple compared to everything else but with how often the trio was forcefully separated throughout the story I know how much he doesn't wanna feel that pain ever again.

While I love how excited Emma was upon seeing the giraffes, I'm certain her reaction was due to seeing these animals up close for the first time. Of course I'd be ecstatic if our girl would slowly gain back some of her memories over time, they choose to show us the anxieties she probably feels every day about whether or not she's really Emma deep down and if she should act like the girl her family loves so much or just be her new self.

Phil being that one good boy who chooses to focus on Emma and her sudden mood switch while she's battling herself in her head.

I wanna say "oh sweetheart, you're anything but alone," but I know her amnesia makes her feel as if she's isolated from her family by not being able to remember every detail about them, the experiences they shared, or her true feelings. She can imagine this giraffe wish would've made her old self happy, since everyone else's wishes brought such big smiles onto their faces, but that's because they all wished for these kinds of moment their entire lives. New Emma is hearing about this dream for the first time and has no clue on how to react to a wish that isn't truly her own. She's probably even feels a little scared that she won't come across as genuine about the idea and she doesn't wanna disappoint her family by not living up to their expectations of what the original Emma would've done in her situation now. It really breaks my little heart to see her doubt herself so much when she literally has the greatest family in the world who would accept her regardless of what she acts like or feels.

One might think that Emma yelled so loudly to try to convince herself and her family that she's really excited about this wish, but to her surprise, she's rewarded with beautiful laughs. Once they arrived, Emma asked if her dream was to see a giraffe but no one bothered to correct her about how original Emma always wanted to ride one instead. To see this Emma reach deep down into her heart and shout with such confidence about what she really wanted to do is perfect in every way, so little does she know that her reaction was exactly what her family expected of her and they couldn't be more delighted to hear such words come from her again.

I'm in love with her adorable, surprised face and how she's in complete awe to learn that perhaps she and the original Emma are more alike that she's realized.

Aahhh it thrills me to no end that this little joke from all the way back from the first chapter is exactly how this series ends. We're coming fill circle baby!

Favorite panel/moment:

Oh no way, Ray's wish as my favorite? Wow, who could've possibly guessed that? Not to show any dislike towards the Mona Lisa or anything, but I'm very glad the story chooses to show us the kids visiting the Sagrada Familia way better. The architecture of this damn thing is impressive and it's insane how it looks this breathtaking despite it not being completely finished yet.

More importantly, this smile of Ray's is the most precious and beautiful thing I've ever set my eyes on! He's probably filled with so much emotion just by standing in a place he never imagined himself to be. He believe he was gonna die a long time ago but now that all his trauma is behind him and he fought his way to freedom, he's so grateful he's alive to actually see this gorgeous structure actually in front of him and realize that all the hardships he fought through alongside his family was truly worth all the effort. This face of his has absolutely lived rent free in my head these past couple years.

BEST GIRL!! I am so incredibly happy and proud of you that you achieved your dreams!! Truly inspirational and she undoubtedly keeps her top spot as my favorite shonen protagonist.

And with all that, I can finally say: End of series.

Seriously though, thank y'all so much for reading through all this, whether you were here from the very start back in April or ya caught interest somewhere down the line, I appreciate every single one of you! I dunno exactly when these posts went from a couple short comments to full length chapter reviews, so I apologize for all my rambling since I honestly didn't intend to write out such long posts. I literally couldn't help it. The love I have for this series is as strong as ever and I'm very surprised that even after these last couple years I still somehow manage to learn or notice new stuff about this world and these characters. One of the many benefits to reading through this story at a slower pace I suppose, and wouldn't you know it? Today is the perfect day to experience it all over again from the beginning.

(Yes, having the project end today was 100% planned from the start.)

#the promised neverland #tpn manga #182daysoftpn #chidoroki used chatter

[fereldanwench]

Hiya Wench! <3

It's me, the chick who always wants you to explain things xD. I have another polite request (won't be upset if you decline, but I have to try).

I had an epiphany about my posts today - I tag for other people, not myself (twitter influence). And I realized I don't even know how to quickly get to some of the older posts.

And then I remembered your page and how it's all neatly organized xD I previously haven't realized all your tags were actually separating your posts into categories and such... I love it. I had some big brain moments today xD

Would you please have any quick tips (perhaps you already do have them on your blog, I just forgot how to display the blog with the template on) for how to get started with your own template and neatly organized posts you can always find? Maybe even some template creators and such?

I used to do HTML & CSS back in the day, but it's been a long while, I don't have that much time to do trial and error anymore, and any actual coding is out of the question for me. It's gotta be user-friendly. (Free would be best, but I'm ready to reward the work done.)

I'm loving it here now and I post A LOT... I'd hate to reach a point where I don't even know what's on my page anymore.

Thanks! <3

Hi, bb! 💙

I've been asked about this a few times, and I honestly never feel I have a good answer for it, haha. I just like organizing and categorizing things, honestly. Best I can do is share my thought process and a couple of handy tools--Hopefully that'll help give you some inspiration!

My tagging habits actually come from ancient Tumblr functionality--Back in the day, the search function didn't exist as it does now (in which it will (theoretically) scan the body and tags in the post), and you could only find posts if they were tagged in a certain way. Sometimes I wanted to post about game stuff, like Dragon Age, but I didn't want my post to appear in the main tag (because of fanwank hell) BUT I also still wanted to be able to find it later because my blog is for me first and foremost.

So I started using "s: dragon age" to gather all things related to Dragon Age (in which "s" in my mind stands for "series") and "g: dao" for posts specifically about Dragon Age Origins, "g: da2" for Dragon Age II/2, and "g: dai" for Dragon Age Inquisition. And if it was a post I did want to go into the main tags, like a GIF set or fanart, I'd use both the default tags (Dragon Age, Dragon Age Inquisition) and my personal ones for my own blog cataloging.

Tumblr search hasn't worked like this in years, but by the time it changed, I was already in this habit for a while so I've just kept doing it. I do change the way I organize stuff from time to time, and there are some tools that make that easier:

Xkit Rewritten This is a life-changer and has a ton of great features to improve your Tumblring experience, but the "Tag Replacer" specifically is awesome if you realize you want to change a tag en mass.

Tumblr Tag List Generator And this is really helpful if you need to do some tag wrangling and figure out what tags you've used. I periodically run my blog through this to catch inevitable typos in tags so I can change them, and see if I can consolidate any similar tags (e.g. catch if I was using both "g: da2" and "g: da ii" so I could figure out which one I liked more.)

As far as the organization itself and how I choose the categories, it's just vibes, haha. It's just how I catalog things in my brain. Which I know is probably unhelpful. Prefixes like "inspo: ###" and "shows: ###" are pretty self-explanatory. "extras: ###" is for the random stuff that doesn't really fit anywhere else, like shitposts and cute animal pics. "topic: ###" is for more serious subjects and discussions, like LGBTQ+ issues. "mine: ###" is for the stuff I've made.

Two things I wish I had done a better job of is 1) organizing other people's OCs by fandom (if you visit me on Pillowfort, you'll notice I use tags like "other's ocs (cp77)" instead of just "other's ocs") and 2) separating my edits tag into a gifs and virtual photography tag. Calling all video game imagery "edits" is also sort of a holdover from Tumblr days of yore, but I wish I had made a distinction there. (I had never even heard the term "virtual photography" until about 2022, though, and I've been on Tumblr since 2010 so yanno. Whatever. This blog in particular is 8 years old, and I'm not sifting through thousands of posts just to amend that.)

And this is a mostly comprehensive list of all the tags I use, if you wanna see the categories and whatnot in action.

With regards to blog templates, I've actually decided to stop focusing on that here because Tumblr has increasingly become a more app-driven userbase, and the pretty blog templates are only visible on desktop. Tumblr also nuked a lot of functionality of the custom pages you can make, which is where I used to keep my tags displayed. I still have a custom theme, but it's pretty bare-bones compared to what I used to do. (Now I get my CSS fix working on my Neocities website, although that is very much still a WIP.)

But there are fortunately still a lot of folks keeping the custom Tumblr themes alive! You can browse some of my personal favorites under my tumblr: themes tag, and @theme-hunter is a fantastic resource to find free user-made templates.

Oh, and because Tumblr is pushing more for a generic and uniform app experience, you do have to opt-in to activate your custom blog. It's this option under your blog settings:

And if you want to view someone's custom blog (if they have one), you'll have use the https://fereldanwench.tumblr.com/ URL. If you want to view the dashboard-like version of their blog, you'll have to use the https://www.tumblr.com/fereldanwench URL.

Hopefully this made sense and can give you some ideas to get started!

#t: wench.txt #tumblr: info & updates

[prsk-krow]

Heya there! 🌻 anon here, making another request!

Alright, I honestly just had the sudden urge to request this wahaha- sooo.. can I request for (R)omantic Yan!Kanade x reader? just some general headcanons would be alright!

Though, I'm not sure if you're comfortable with writing characters as Yanderes- So if you feel uncomfortable in writing with this kind of concept, then it's alright! but if you do decide on making this request then that's also okay! just make sure you're not forcing yourself- ^^;

As I usually say, take your time if you decide to do this request! don't rush yourself<33

That's all and thank you!!✮\(^o^)/✮

{YANDERE!Kanade general headcanons...} [R]

IT'S TIME!! Don't worry, the reason I allowed yandere requests is bcuz I don't mind them! In fact I've been waiting for a request like this... I know many in the verse don't like Yan, but I kinda like them... So TYSM for the request!!

Also I received the request to change the ask, but I finished this b4 then so that'll be something separate... •^•

WARNING: YANDERE CONTENT BELOW!!

Kanade has spend a lot of her time trying to save others, but this goal of hers has left her not only lonely, but also pretty unhealthy and devoid of affection. It's sad, but it's exactly this that makes her value her close ones so much...

She probably comes to know you through her housekeeper, as you come one day as a replacement because she couldn't come! She had already gotten pretty attached to her, so for you? It doesn't start strong, but it's a head start for her obsession to start...

She doesn't start getting close though, and her obsession takes a long while to truly start. Since she hasn't learned much about her feelings yet, the biggest thing in her mind is simply composing and working. It's you who has to make the first step, and that's when her thoughts about you start to shift.

The more you talk to her the more she starts to realize how strange this is. When she finishes a piece and should be thinking about her next one, she's thinking about if you'd like it. Same when in the process of composing something new and thinking about how much you'd like it.

And eventually, she'll stop herself from overworking another night and ask herself: What's happening? Why is she thinking about you so much? She needs to save someone, that's why she's composing. So why does your image flood her mind every single moment that passes? That's when she realizes that her feelings for you may be something more important than she thought...

It's not soon before Kanade makes the sudden request for you to visit more often! She misses your face, and wants to see you?? Well, no matter! If she's happy then you're willing to visit even on weekdays and check up on her! It's ironic, how your visits that were meant to keep her healthy are now making her act the opposite way.

"Ah... Yeah, t-thanks for coming again. I know I just saw you yesterday, but having someone like you by my side helps me a lot, you know? It's always been hard for me to do things all by myself, and at first I didn't mind, really... But now that you're here, I think I can live a better way each day that passes..."

Every time you visit, she wants to stop composing and come talk to you, have you make small talk with her, make her meals, everything. But she's just so awkward... How does she get you to talk? How can she ask you to cook without looking disrespectful? That's why she turns to composing once again.

One day, as she composes something new, you catch her writing the lyrics... She doesn't have enough time to hide them, and soon the jig is up... You think. In fact, although that part of the lyrics reveals that she holds romantic feelings for you, it doesn't show how deep they go...

So, having the wrong image in your head, you accept her as a couple! And that day, she doesn't even need to compose something to not be able to fall asleep. As you promise her to come over to live with her, she has a million thoughts running through her head. That's when, whether she realizes or not, that her obsession truly starts to manifest.

Her obsession is quiet, but lurking, never fading. She watches you inside her home, always too afraid to make a move. Sometimes you catch her, but she looks so inoffensive that you just tease her and drop the subject. Sometimes you don't, and she can spend hours simply stalking you...

However, she starts getting a little upset whenever you go outside. She can't follow you then after all... So she starts trying to convince you to stay more indoors. This works for now, as you still have the wrong impression of her love!

"Thank you for listening to me... I know that you really like to be outside, but now that we're together, I don't think it's a good idea... We can do everything together inside my... No, our home. Besides, not much of it has been out to use since my... My... A-anyways, want to order something?"

She continues to compose more and more, but this time she doesn't want anyone to see it. She uses songs as an outlet to let out her desires to spend an eternity with you by her side, with no care for the world outside of your home together...

The only reason now that she has to take care of herself is your concerns, as you watch the bags under her eyes grow. You feed her, and make sure she gets enough sleep! Thankfully she always listens to you, however if you ever forget to take care of her, her state will worsen fast...

She doesn't care much about her own state, it's hard for her to do that anymore. The only thing on her mind is you, what you say, what you do... And with thoughts of you filling her mind, how could she bother to do anything else than compose for you and observe you silently?

If she doesn't, you may be taken away, just like her family was... The thought of that consumes her with fear. She can't afford that to happen, so she continues to watch over you, making sure that you're happy, healthy, and safe together with her... If only she had more courage to speak what she truly thinks... Guess she'll just have to keep hiding it forever...

#project sekai #project sekai headcanons #project sekai imagines #project sekai x reader #prsk #pjsk x reader #pjsk #prsk x reader #pjsekai #pjsekai x reader #kanade yoisaki #kanade yoisaki x reader #yoisaki kanade #yoisaki kanade x reader #yandere #yandere x reader #/cawcanons #/🌻anon! #yandere kanade yoisaki

[cerastes]

Hey Drimo, had you ever had to deal with a supervisor who tries to make you feel like you're bad at your job even though you're not? My coworkers tell me I'm doing great and that they know they can count on me but my supervisor always makes me second guess myself :(

Yeah, it wasn't my direct superior, but at my last job, this guy who was on the same level of hierarchy as my direct superior and who lead a section our team had to work with frequently had a less than pleasant disposition towards my work and me. My direct superior, however, praised me constantly and always lauded my work ethic.

The easiest answer anyone can give you is "ignore it", but if ignoring all the slights levied at us was that easy, well, we wouldn't have these concerns, right? So, instead, I want you to rationalize it.

Your supervisor, do they have reason to put you down even when everyone else tells you you're doing great? Could be! Maybe they're afraid you're trying to take their position, and are preemptively trying to put you down. Maybe they themselves took over the position, maybe they've actually dealt with this before. Anon, maybe there's literally no reason and they just dislike you on a personal level, or hell it could just be something they do for their own amusement.

Point is, anon, there's a wide array of possibilities, and you know what your best answer here is? Smile, nod, and say you'll do better, without really doing anything differently. First, that's all that can be expected of you in that situation, and hey, if your coworkers say you're doing great, why would the negative opinion of one person who seems to have it out for you weight more than that of the crew that sees you do your thing and approves of this? Most people are primed to put more weight onto negatives than positives, for a lot of reasons, but that's another can of worms, point is, slowly shifting the weight you place onto opinions helps a lot. You're clearly worried about it, no? That immediately tells me you care about doing a good work in the first place, which speaks good of you. Of course, you can't just not care about negatives either, or you become someone that'll never improve or listen. There's a balance to be achieved! And it's not easy, but it's doable, slowly.

Don't second guess yourself. If you ever mess up in a way that can be tangibly proven, then you have to check up on how to avoid messing it up and then improve upon that, but if it's only the opinion of someone who is in a position of power over you, smile, nod, and say you'll do better, because the second advantage of this is that it tends to piss people that do this kind of shit in the first place a lot when what they know is an unreasonable request is just being taken at face value. It's less turning the other cheek and more activating your cheek's counterframes.

Between you and I, being petty in the workplace is pretty rewarding, emotionally, if warranted, haha.

[aelaer]

I love writing; I want to write I'm not able to. Whenever I open a document, ready to write, it's like my fingers get stuck, hovering over the keyboard. It is frustrating and upsetting and doesn't help my non-existing confidence and self-worth.

I know people say it helps when you talk with friends about your writing but I only have one friend and I've annoyed them enough with my writing problems (since we longer share the same fandoms). And I'm scared of people and self-isolate myself from them because my past fandom experiences weren't the best.

Aww love *big hugs* 🫂 Thank you for your trust in sharing this personal information with me. I presume that you shared it with me on the hope that I would give some thoughts and ideas on these troubles. I will do my best to give you an answer that will hopefully be of some use to you. If you just needed to let it off your chest and do not wish for thoughts and non-professional advice, please don't read beyond this paragraph. And if that's the case I just wish the best for you and hope things get better!

But if you're still reading this second paragraph, here's some of my own musings on what you've divulged. (Note - I'm not a professional health person, this stuff is from memory of things I've read and my memory may be spotty.)

The funny thing about hobbies is that they're meant to enrich your life, but oftentimes you can only easily partake in them if you're already in a good place. If you're stressed about work, school, family or friends, it gets hard to focus on things you enjoy. If your health is in the toilet, it's sometimes hard to do hobbies as well. This includes mental health.

It's a bit of a terrible cycle. You want to create, but you are too down to create, which makes you feel even more down than you were before. This is terribly common and it's such a difficult cycle to break.

How exactly do you solve it? I don't think there's an easy solution, or a solution that fits everyone. But I have the following on "things" to try split into different parts, if you want to give any of these a shot. They touch on each of the items you mentioned in your post:

Getting In The Mood To Write

Set up a sprint. Don't know what sprinting is? Here's an article about sprints. Don't have a Discord writing server where sprints are set up? Here's a free sprint site.

Is the story you *want* to write not easily coming to mind? Why not start on some writing prompts. This link has prompts that would be about 1-3 paragraphs to complete per prompt. Need more flexibility? These prompts could be answered in a couple sentences, a paragraph, or a page. None of these may be the story you've been trying to write, but they're a good way to get your muscle memory in your fingers and word-forming in your head to get started again. You can do as little or as many as you like. They can be fiction or non-fiction. You can even answer the prompts as your favorite fictional character if you'd like to for the personal writing ones.

How calm are your surroundings and your mind? This article goes into some tips about setting the mood and getting your mind prepared for the space. It also goes into the importance of the mind being in the right space for it, which goes into my next section.

Caring For Yourself

I really like the article I linked in point three because it emphasizes, in very large text, "Be kind to yourself and let it flow". This is one of the most difficult things to learn because if you've spent a long time beating yourself up for not doing the thing, not being good enough, and other self-negative terminology, that'll be deep within your psyche. Unlearning all of these negative feelings about yourself is not done in a day, or a week, or possibly not even a month or year.

One method of combating these negative feelings is by saying (out loud or on paper) positive things about yourself: that you *are* enough, that you are talented/worth it/hardworking, whatever it is to combat whatever you've been telling yourself that has lowered your self-esteem. This has to become a habit, by the way--something you schedule in your day and that you stick to like clockwork. This self-affirming self-care language is supposed to eventually sink in, because if it is so often in the upper conscious, it eventually sinks to the subconscious. Or at least, that's what the science of it says.

Depending on how long this feeling continues and how many aspects of your life it affects, you may want to consider speaking with a professional about it. If that is not a viable solution, doing some research on what you can do to help yourself could help. Just stick with reputable sites--the .edu's and the like.

One blog I really like following is @insanitysilver because of their constant positivity around writing both original and fan fiction. There's a lot of reaffirming content about being kind to yourself on bad writing days, to your WIPs, and just being a writer (and reader!) in general. This may help give you a pick-me-up in your browsing of tumblr.

Getting Into The Fandom Community

I 100% get not wanting to get into fandom again because you've had bad experiences in the past. Oh my *goodness*, I can't count all the terrible experiences I've had in online fandom spaces and online RP spaces in the 20 years I've been active online and all the hurt that came with it. Heck, I'm friends with a mutual who is also interacting with the person who told me they were disgusted that I had given kudos on their fic and said some absolutely *nasty* things to me, and we're both still active in the same fandom.

Unfortunately it comes with human interaction. If you hide from it forever, you may miss out on some absolutely amazing experiences and beautiful friendships.

Toxic people are everywhere, unfortunately, but you learn to recognize them and, in the online space, block them. And those toxic people (like the one I mentioned above) have to live with their nastiness and you start to feel sorry for them, because how sad must that person be to go out of their way to put others down in such a horrid manner?

If it's a matter of miscommunications and misunderstanding, that gets easier to deal with with experience and time. Experience is a big part of it. Have I committed some big social mistakes and major faux pas in my past? Yes, absolutely, including in the fandom I'm still active in. I have major foot-in-mouth disease, and I feel pretty bad about those! When I can, I try to repair relationships. When I can't, I've learned to apologize where I can when I'm at fault and move on. You don't need to be friends with everyone in the fandom to have a good time.

To start getting involved: joining a fandom Discord would be my recommendation. You can usually find one via Google. Some are super large, so you may want to try and find smaller shipping ones, or character-based ones as opposed to a huge community. The cool thing about this is that you can lurk for a time to see how the community interacts before stepping in, which is a nice part about Discord.

Another way to connect with folks is via tumblr. Look up the fandom tags here and start following folks who post a lot about your favorite things! First you can start with reblogs, then reblogs with tags, and then comments and asks. Baby steps at your own pace.

I definitely recommend connecting with several people if at all possible because you'll have several people to talk about fandom stuff with, and writing with, and if you have a falling out with one of them, it won't feel like you're completely out of the loop. I'd also recommend that you connect with folks who aren't all mutuals -- spread it out. In one of my largest fandom schisms several years ago, a whole RP group kicked me out because the leader was an ableist asshole. But I had several other RP partners to fall back on and to help me through the tough time. It's similar in the fandom space--you want to be friendly with several folks. That's one reason Discord is so great-- you can be in several Discord groups with a variety of people and be acquaintances, friends, and good friends with several folks. If for some reason one of the Discord groups is actually a poisonous hellhole and they're awful to you, you can back out and fall back to the other group without feeling like you've completely disconnected from everyone in fandom. There's a space for everyone.

If your fandom is my corner of the MCU, I'd recommend both the Stephen Strange Discord and IronStrange Discord. They're wholesome groups and you can comfortably lurk there until you're ready to talk about the fun stuff. If you don't have those links, just send me a follow-up ask for which one you'd like and I'll post a 7-day link.

This was pretty darn long, but I hope I could be of some assistance, if assistance was what you were looking for. Best wishes, anon--things do get better.

#long post #ask #answered #self care #anonymous #writing #remember to be kind to yourself first and foremost #fandom

[my-castles-crumbling]

hey! I've been having some worries about my (platonic) relationship recently and I'd love advice that isn't from my best friend (because of course he'd never tell me if anything was up). Also, I may have sent in this ask before, but my adhd brain can't remember

So, I've been with him for a year now, we dated for a couple months at the start and now we're friends, we're both different levels and flavors of aroace, and he's my soulmate and literally everything to me. I'm beyond in love with him. He says that he feels the same about me, but I'm just not sure. It feels like he's avoiding me and falling out of love with me, and he hasn't been really talking to me much for weeks. He says that he's busy, but he just doesn't seem to care as much and I don't know how to let go of him. I keep trying to get him to tell me that he wants to end what we have, but he just won't, even though he's pretty clearly uninterested in talking to me. Lately, the only way we communicate has been hour-long calls at night. I'm worried that I'm putting too much on him with dealing with my insecurities (I'll tell him that it's okay if he hates me and I understand why he doesn't want to be friends anymore and then he'll get a little upset and say that he does and I dont need to worry about that stuff), he was there for me while I was dealing with severe depression and everything that it brought and I'm just scared that it's been too much for him and he's tired of me constantly complaining, or I'm pushing him too much and he won't tell me (we're still figuring out what our relationship is, it's not romantic but it's so much more than just being friends (to me at least) and he just seems less in love with me than I am with him). I can't get him to admit any of it and I can't bring myself to just block him and let him go (we go to different schools and live pretty far from each other so he wouldn't be able to contact me any other ways given that I can ignore emails much better than texts).I know it would be what's best for him and it's was he really wants, but I just don't know how to do it and let go of him. He's the love of my life and I know I'm being too selfish but it's just so painful to think about letting him go, even when we already only talk once or twice a day. I don't know what to do

Hi hon!

I'm a bit confused, here. You keep saying you know he doesn't want to be with you, you know you're bugging him, you know he's better off, you know, you know, you know- but then you say he says everything is fine?

Has he done anything to make you think this?

Trust me, I have been in this spot so many times, where I feel like I am too much, where I feel like someone secretly doesn't want me, where I feel like I should just run. But if this person is saying or doing nothing to actually confirm this, then there are two possibilities:

Either you are feeling anxious about something that actually isn't true (valid. Like I said, I've been there) In this case, then...yay! It's not true!

OR he is feeling this way, but he isn't telling you about it. In this case, then...it's HIS job to tell you how he's feeling. You shouldn't have to pry that from him.

Either way, you don't have to do anything! It sounds horrible and terrifying, but try to take his reassurance at face value for a bit. See how things go. Try not to just leave. I don't think that'll work well.

Please write/vent to me anytime <3

I'm naming you good anon, for when you write back!

#ask #asks #ask cas #good anon

[kurottsukii]

Eight | Bitter Sweet Win

We sat in my locker room in complete silence, avoiding each other's eyes but every once in a while I would glance at Phil, only to see an emotionless face staring into the void. It seemed like he was trying to find the right words to say, but what exactly are you supposed to say to your ex after two years of no communication?

It's not like we ended our relationship in a big fight. It was more of me breaking up with him because I let myself overthink about our relationship. I ruined something good in my life because I thought he deserved someone better. It was the doubt that mingled in the back of my head, my thoughts overpowering each other to make me think I wasn’t good enough for him.

Shouldn't I be the one to be thinking of something to say? I deserted him in the most pathetic way possible, I should be the one apologizing or begging for his forgiveness but knowing Phil, he probably thinks it was his fault. And how do I even try to change that in any way, shape or form? Nothing I could say could bring those special moments back, right?

I can't let him think that. That'll be selfish of me, making someone else take the blame of my wrong doings. Maybe I should speak up and just tell him it is not his fault but mine.

Just as I open my mouth, he cut me off by speaking first. "Before you say anything, no I don't blame you or myself about the breakup. Yeah, it broke me a bit but I understood where you was coming from. Honestly after the breakup, I started watching your matches and watched you grow. You reached mountains that no other athlete or celebrity could, you broke records and created them. You made a name for yourself in this industry that no man or woman could.

I'm honestly in awe by you, I just wanted to have the chance to say that. I don't want anything to be awkward between us, I'm glad you're here though. Seeing you here now feels like the first time I saw you in the crowd, checking me out. I, I really do miss you, Vonna."

Each word, each fucking word stabbed me in the heart, ripping it to shreds. Phil always had that impact on me, the way he spoke, the words he used just always made me feel weird inside. It made me want him in all the ways that seems impossible. But it also made me feel like shit, Phil is such a great guy, when alcohol took over his life, he fought, not just for me but for himself and his fans. His whole life revolves around those topics and I was just a selfish broken shell of a girl who clung onto him for guidance and love, once that became too hard for me... I ran in the most cowardly of ways possible.

"I missed you too Phil, a lot more than I want to admit. Seeing you just brought back old feelings that I spent years on getting rid of. I'm really sorry on how things ended but that's the past you know? I don't want to keep reliving it, can we just start over again? As just friends, for now."

I could tell that my answer was not what he hoped for, I could see it in his eyes. The signs of distraught and pain, all I wanted to do right now was climb onto his lap and just kiss him, give him everything I couldn't give before. But that wasn't possible, that would be going back on everything I said. I had to fight it.

I watched as his expression changed, he was doing his best to not show his true feelings. But his eyes told me different.

"I'd like that." He said with a fake smile drawn on his face. Liar. He didn't want that, he wanted more, I wanted more but there was so much shit happening. This job, the feud, the fact I can't get that guy out my head, and now my first love and boyfriend. This felt like a Disney movie, why does life gotta be so difficult? Couldn’t it have been any easier?

"Uh, since you're new here, I suggest you stay by yourself or stay with me and Sheamus. The other superstars don't really like newcomers, especially the Divas here. And stay away from the Shield, they're bad news. I should know.."

I pushed my brows togethers as I just looked at him up and down like he was crazy. Was he really trying to warn me? ME?! After I literally fought and embarrassed Randy and his swat team?! I should be on their radar by now, how do you even stay away from a team that will be looking for you and the opportunity to DESTROY you!

Whatever, I decided to keep my mouth shut about them and just agreed so we can just end the conversation and get ready for our match. I already knew what it could lead to if I do speak up.

"Guys? You're in there? I want to introduce myself to Yovanna!"

Speak of the devil.

Not really, but you get my point. A unfamiliar voice yelled at the door, banging against it like a mad man. It was really annoying me, Phil was about to open it but I beat him to it so I could give this jerk a piece of my mind but when I swung the door open, I was greeted by man titties that was bigger than my own.

"What a nice welcome gift." I joked, casually patting the man boob before taking a step back to see who I just groped unintentionally. He was a buff guy, with denim shorts, a green hat and a green sweatband on his arm. He looked liked some video game character but shamelessly sexy.

He just stared at me with such a warm welcoming smile, I guess this was the Cena guy that lost to Randy. How can someone built like Superman lose to Randy? I took a step to the side, so he can walk in as I closed the door.

As I turned around, all eyes were on me.

"Let's get to business."

Skipping to the Match:

I didn't have a music theme or whatever it is, so I just walked out with Phil. The crowd reaction made my whole body tingle, I had never seen this many people in one place my whole life. It was kind of scary but I couldn't let the nerves get to me. I had to make sure that we win. Phil was behind me as I ran down the ramp, high-fiving as many people as I could before making it to the ring. Sheamus tried to make a way for me through the middle and bottom rope but I denied it, making my own way inside the ring, I decided to use my flexible abilities by doing a backflip off the top turn buckle.

Once again the crowd reacted beautifully, making me so fucking pumped and excitement coursed through my body. Randy and his swat team was here before us so they all just stared at me with their cold, definitely soulless eyes, behind the ropes. If I had to admit, it was a bit scary but I blew it off by blowing a kiss at them as I just stayed in the middle of the ring, waiting to see who wanted to start the match against me and to my surprise it was my male twin that Phil informed me was named Dean. Such a boring name for a guy that looks like he bites heads off of dolls.

I couldn't help but get excited though, not because I was up close to the most beautiful guy I ever laid my eyes on; sorry Phil, but because I get to embarrass his ass once again until he tags in Randy.

I stared up at him for a moment, only to see him already mirroring my expression, what does he have to be excited about?

Even though I was confused, I didn't show it, because if I did, he would just use it to his advantage and attack first. I didn't know shit about them or anyone here but I do know about mind games and how easy it is to find your opponents weak spot through emotions and I was not about to fall victim to it.

Once the bell rang, I made the first attack with a punch straight to his jaw which he took like a champ. He was about to give me a punch of his own but I quickly moved out the way, running to his corner only to knock his teammates off with a running knee. I took the moment to savior the sweet sweet view of Randy being knocked out cold which was a bad move. Why? Because I just let Dean have a free opportunity to attack me from behind and he did.

Before I could do anything, I felt a hard blow to the back of my head. My head was aching, it was like my heart just moved from my chest and to my head; and all I felt was it pounding. Like a fucking migraine. I couldn't hear anything and it was hard to see, but I could definitely feel. I felt myself being slammed to the mat. The sting from my head and back was enough to keep me on the ground for a while but it didn't stop there. Dean decided to proceed his attack with multiple kicks to my sides.

And to think I thought all of this was an act, well it wasn't! I could fucking feel my stomach now in my throat with those kicks. This man was brutal and I hate it but yet fucking love it.

The kicks continued for a while then it stopped. I took that opportunity to crawl away. With one hand attached to my lower half and the other grasping onto the mat as I continued to crawl. I could see Phil was mentally begging me to tag him with his eyes of plead but before I could, I felt myself being dragged away, my nails breaking as it was causing a few fingers to bleed.

I didn't even bother to see who it was, I just kept kicking my feet until it connected to something, once it did I made my escape and tagged in Phil.

Sheamus helped me out the ring so I could sit and take a moment for myself. Everything was still blurry but my hearing was slowly coming back. I just sat up against the barricade, listening to the crowd cheer for Phil, who I assumed was kicking ass, while I sat here like a loser. I came in so strong now look at me, I got the shit kicked out of me because I took my eyes off my opponent. A common rookie’s mistake.

While sitting there, I had a strange feeling that someone was staring right into my soul. I assumed it was Randy giving me an death stare but to my surprise it was actually Dean. For a moment our eyes were on each other, his were so beautiful but were full of guilt. I guess he felt bad for hurting me, which he shouldn't. I'm his enemy, you don't feel bad for the enemy.

I really didn't know what to do in this situation but from what it looks like in the ring, my team needed me. While avoiding the eye contact from Dean, I finally got up and headed back to the ropes with my hand out. Phil was crawling his way to our corner but it looked like he wasn't even going for my hand but for John's instead. I don't why that got me pissed off but once the cameras wasn't looking, I booty bumped John out the way so Phil could tag me, and he did. He looked at me with nothing but disappointment written all over his face, same with John but I didn't care. This was my moment, my first impression.

Once I was tagged in, two toned was already up and ready. He started off with a kick to my mid-section which I blocked only, to mimic his actions. Once he was bent down, I dropped down to the mat to give him a good punch in the face. The crowed cheered while my team gave me an disapproval look and the other team looked like they wanted to kill me. Kill me, chop me off and feed me to the stray dogs in the back alleyway of a bar.

But who cares, I was skipping in circles around two toned in a mocking way, I didn't even notice he was already up. But it didn't matter, he looked dazed like drugged off his ass and tired which was perfect for me. I decided to not do anything further, instead I pushed him into his corner so someone could tag in. And...just my fucking luck. Tarzan was the one to step up, I think Phil said his name was Roman which was even worst. Motherfucker went from Tarzan, the jungle warrior to an actual acient Greek warrior who looks like he eats the bones off of fried chicken.

I didn't really want to waste my energy running from that giant, so I dropped kicked him back to his corner with all my strength, which was a terrible idea because it knocked down everyone off the turnbuckle. I wanted someone else to be tagged in!!

Roman definitely did not like that, he looked like he wanted to break me in half. But my ego wouldn't let me run away like the fucking scared little girl that I used to be. Instead I stood there, waiting for him to charge at me so I could take him down. I didn't really have a plan on how I was going to take him down, it was kind of just me going off of my gut instinct. That sounds like a plan, right?

But the human bull did actually charge at me, with full force might I add. Like he was a train or something, at that point I didn't know what to do so I just did another drop kick to his stomach.

He was down but not completely for me to do a roll up, plus he wasn't the one I wanted to roll up. As he was down, I took the free opportunity to send blows to the head, mid-section and his sides. The referee had to pull me off three times but each time he did, I ran right back only to almost get superman punched. Luckily I ducked, but again it was the wrong move because the referee received it instead.

The crowd was going ballistic, meanwhile both teams were freaking out behind the ropes. I stood there in confusion because without the referee what were we going to do? He was the one who would count till three and conclude who was the winner. Fuck you, Roman.

Apparently to Roman, the match was still on. Why do I say that? Because he decided to continue it by power bombing me to the mat when I wasn't paying attention. The impact did a number on my back like it did earlier, it literally knocked the wind out of me fully. It felt like he broke all my ribs and my spine with that move.

But aye, it wasn't enough to bring me down completely. While he wasn't looking, I did a low blow before throwing him back into his corner. I could care less about the impact. All I could envision was me winning.

It was a cheap shot, yes but the man was huge with nothing but rage and muscles. He would of destroyed me in his own way of fighting that I'm STILL NEW AT!!

"TAG ME IN ANNA!" I could hear John screaming at me from behind but I didn't move. I didn't want to, all I wanted was to get my hands on Randy and if that means getting my ass handed to me by the puppy dogs Shield, then so be it.

I waited till someone got tagged in, no one really tagged in voluntarily instead there was a forced tag, and that someone that was tagged in was Randy. All that pain in my body faded it was nothing and got replaced with excitement. This was my moment and my chance, just as I was about to run into Orton with a clothesline, John tagged himself in.

Every bone in my body wanted to just beat his ass and thrown him out the ring but I couldn't, he was my teammate and I didn't want my first night here to be ruined with a loss so instead I tagged myself back in once Orton pushed him into our corner. Clearly the crowd could see there was tension in my team and it was all because of me. Call me reckless or a hot head but like I said many times before, this was my moment. Not Cena's or Phil's or anyone in that matter.

Climbing the top rope, I did another frog splash on Ortan that sent both of us crashing down onto the mat. Once again I felt nothing but unbearing pain, yet it didn't stop me from throwing punches after punches, it didn't even matter where the punches were landing at, just as they were landing the way I needed them to.

Eventually the referee got up from that punch, luckily he didn't see me constantly punching Orton.

I quickly jumped off once the referee was fully up and aware. That gave Orton a chance to get up. Once he did, I hit him with two clotheslines, Randy was down for the count and I didn't want to waste that opportunity.

1

2

He kicked out at two, I wasn't really shocked because I didn't do much but like I said, I wasn't going to waste that opportunity. Standing up, I started off by kicking him in the sides than proceed to stomp on his hands repeatedly before I was told to stop by the referee.

I looked over my shoulder to see the Shield just staring daggers at me, especially Dean. I guess all that guilt from earlier disappeared once I kicked his brother in the nuts, not sorry though. He deserves it for being tagged in.

I didn't want to make the same mistake I did before with Dean, I couldn't afford to; so I turned my attention back to Randy who was now on his feet, he charged at me but I just threw him out the ring, over the ropes.

The crowd was still enjoying the show, with how much cheers I was getting. I was about to get cocky but instead I tagged in Sheamus so he could have some fun but unfortunately, the shield well...shielded Randy. So Sheamus and I did a swan dive on all of them into the barricade, I ended up landing on Dean and his hands were on my...yeah. My ass.

"Sorry.." He mumbled under his breath as if I didn't hear him, I just nodded and quickly got off. Phil ran to me to make sure I was okay, I wanted to push him off but instead I just nodded to every question he threw at me as he got back in the ring. The referee started counting meanwhile Randy was buried under Roman and two toned.

1. 2. 3. 4. 5....

Randy was unresponsive, Roman and Seth eventually got out the way but Randy was still knocked out.

6. 7. 8....

The crowd began to count with the referee but I just stood there in silence. There's no way Randy was going to lose in a count out...was this bitch letting us win the easy way? No fuck no!

Before the referee could say ten, Dean already shoved Randy back into the ring.

The counting stopped.

Sheamus, John, and Phil weren't happy but me? I was smiling like a kid on Christmas day. Randy was struggling to get on his feet. This was my chance! I quickly tagged myself back in, sorry Sheamus but I have to do this! With a kick to the face, I made Randy drop to the mat and that's when I did my move. I grabbed a hold of him, forcing his left arm to go backwards towards me, one arm was wrapped around his neck, the other was on the target I would break if he didn't tap quickly. I put all my weight in it to put enough pressure on his shoulder, Randy was now screaming in pain. His eyes were wide as he tried his hardest to break my hold on his shoulder.

No luck.

"TAP!" I screamed, putting more pressure onto his shoulder but not enough to actually break it, I can definitely feel the bone move underneath but again, I wasn't gonna stop until he tapped.

Still, no response, he was still fighting it. I had to admit that was brave for him but definitely annoying for me.

I basically had his arm locked in and my legs were wrapped tightly around his waist so he couldn't move. "TAP!" I screamed again out of frustration but he was still fighting it. So my hold got tighter until I heard a pop, I'm not sure if I actually broke his amr or dislocated it but still, I did damage and seconds later he was tapping desperately causing me to instantly let go.

We have won.

I had officially beaten Randy on my first day here. This feels fucking amazing….

Both Sheamus and Phil held my arms up, I was happy but yet my attention was on Dean who just gave me a wink before leaving with his crew. Randy on the other hand, was still laid out on the ring, this was a great moment to embarrass him.

Rolling out the ring, I took a cup of coke from JBL, of course he was about the protest but I cut him off by putting my finger on his lip. No one needs to hear you speak JBL, especially me.

Once I got back in the ring, I took the lid off the cup and poured it all over Randy.

He squirmed and yelled some threats and curse words as he held onto his arm but they were cut off my laughing.

"This is what happens when you fuck with me. And don't even think this is over. I'm coming for your title next."

This chapter was written by yours truly and a special friend of mine @ensorcellsworld, she did the editing and added more detail in it. Appreciate you for the hard work love 💕 more to come from the two of us!!

#fyp #fanfic #dean ambrose #wwe #mma #randy orton #seth rollins #spotify #roman reigns #world wrestling entertainment #ufc #sheamus #john cena #triple h #oc #instagram #adult model #brazil #wattpad #two women

[pumpkzsafeplace]

vent- Tw: ed, depression and thoughts of s/h

(For your daddy since he answered the last one)

-----

I thought I was starting to get better but I think my ED is getting worse... my eating schedule is all messed up, I'm eating super late and I'm not eating enough..

Right now I'm in the dark, crying while I lay on the couch and I feel like crap. I'm lightheaded, have a headache, nauseous, and just feel bad in general. It's almost 9pm and I haven't eaten dinner and I honestly don't really want to...

School starts next Monday (the 28th) and I'm kinda worried. I'm going to have a set time that I have to eat lunch and as far as I know I only have lunch with one of my friends. Her name is Mercedes and I've been friends with her for 12 years. She's really nice and if she notices that I'm not eating she'll try to get me to eat even if it's just a little bit. I'm really glad that I have lunch with her but I don't know if that'll get me through a 30 minute lunch period every.. single.. day..

I've also been thinking about s/h.. I know that its not gonna make anything better and I know that I shouldn't, but I just don't know what else to do. I know it's bad and that it's gonna hurt and that I won't benefit from it. But it's just a thought that's been floating around in my mind...

On a little bit of a different topic my grandma keeps coming over. She was originally coming over because my mom asked her to help me clean the "play room" upstairs. When we were a little younger we use to play up there but now it's pretty much just a bunch of clutter and it's where we keep my baby sister's diapers. Ever since she came over to help clean that room she's been yelling at me to clean my room. Shes also been telling me that I haven't cleaned anymore since she left. Which I have cleaned since she's been there. I cleaned a decent amount and I was actually really proud of myself, but everytime I see her she reminds me that I "haven't cleaned or made any progress" and it really pisses me off. I just seen her any hour ago and I almost cried because she wouldn't stop talking about it. The more upset I got about it the funnier it seemed to her.

She's even been trying to go into my room. I don't want her up there. I have all my regression stuff in there, plus it's super messy. I don't know if you've ever seen a depression house, but it's pretty much where someone gets really bad depression to the point where they stop caring, stop cleaning, and pretty much just do the bare minimum to live. That's kind of what my room looks like. There's trash and tissues on the floor, clothes everywhere, there's stuffies on the floor. If I'm being honest, you can hardly even see the floor. It's just... not good.. at all. There's even a rat that likes to hang out in my room (I named him Remy). He didn't always live in my room. There's a lot of stray cats outside so I'm assuming he came in the house to hide from them. My mom used to see Remy downstairs, but I've only ever seen him in my bedroom. I know that I really need to clean, especially since there's a rat living up there, I just don't have any motivation. My depressions been getting worse too, and I just feel like there's no reason to do anything. I'm not enjoying life, I'm just walking through the the motions everyday. Just doing what I have to do to survive.

My grandma's coming back tomorrow and she's going to do whatever it takes to go in my room. It won't matter how much I tell her no, and that I don't want her in there.

I just really don't know what to do anymore.. I want to feel better, but I don't think that'll happen any time soon.....

-👑

─•~❉᯽❉~•─

hihi lil bug’ 🌼

💼:

Hi Little One,

I'm sorry to hear that things are getting worse. Hopefully I can offer some help?

(all information in here Pumpkin has allowed me to share, trigger warning!!)

-> 1st: The ED.

First off, I'm sorry that the ED has gotten worse. But i'm proud of you for still eating at least one meal a day, that's a great starting point. Now, we need to just eat a little bit more okay? We've got to fight against this parisite because you deserve to live in a happy and healthy body, okay?

With Pumpkin, we had small but frequent meals, even if it's just an apple cut up or a couple of crisp. As long as its freqent and filling you up-then it's a positive. I also would highly suggest therapy or a doctor/consultant to help on the medicial side.

Something that also helps Pumpkin on the dark days is tiktok. She follows a couple of accounts that suffer from ED's and publish their journey of getting better. She find that it makes it easier for her to try if someone is trying with her (if that makes sense). Mukbangs are good for her too as they help make her hungry enough to eat when her mind is yelling at her not too. Don't go overboard with food, small plates for now while your body adjusts to the portions.

-> 2nd: The SH.

Now, I am going to say this part incredibly clear.

PLEASE DO NOT DO IT.

SH isn't something to be messing around with.It is a addicitve reaction that is incredibly unsafe to do. There are other healthier options such as writing down your feelings, talking to people about them, getting them out in things like boxing or painting. I know your mind is working against you, so maybe have a look and see if you could find some help for that too.

Therapy and asking for help is nothing to be ashamed about. Pumpkin did it, she said therapy really helped her out- the only reason she stopped is due to money issues. But the lessons she did have helped her cope with trauma of things a whole lot healthier.

So please, look after yourself okay?

-> 3rd: The Depression House.

I know what a Depression House is little one, I lived in one with Pumpkin a while back when we were both struggling servely. She was having meltdowns every week and I was stressed out and couldn't be in two places at the same time.

It was rough, but we got through it (which is the main message here).

Depression is extremly difficult and hard to overcome, but it's not impossible- remember that. Every boss battle has a victory path, you just have to keep fighting and find it.

You also that it's starting to attract wildlife, that's not healthy for you love. Especially with everything else you're going through, we need to slowly change that okay?

Even if it's just cleaning a corner at a time, start small and take baby steps. Pumpkin told me to add that watching cleaning vlogs and having relaxing vlogs in the background helped her so much. It made her feel like she wasn't alone struggling and that there was still a light at the end of the tunnel.

All in all love we're extremly worried. Please ask for help from people and try and tackle this depression early before it could potentially lead to other things.

We are all here for you to support you. We all love and care for you, so please don't give up just yet.

Okay?

Much Love <3,

💼 & 🍰

#askpumpkin #👑pumpkinasks #age regression #agere community #agere blog #safe agere #sfw age regression #sfw agere #sfw little community #agere little #sfw little post #sfw little blog

[goblinism]

so i found my old private comic diary from 2008-2009 from around the time i was 18yo. I quit school right before the finals and started working and trying to figure out what i was gonna do. I was super in the closet about being trans too and boy

cw: sui, depression, anxiety, parental/emotional abuse, dysphoria

like 98% of the entrees i was either tired, angry, sad or all three at once the other 2% was about my hobbies, mainly video games and anime/manga I realize now how in bad and fragile state I was back then, and how living home with one parent being alcoholic really REALLY wasnt doing me any favors there's specifically one entry from 7th of january 2009 that i vividly still remember making, because that night was when i decided im quitting school. i simply couldnt handle it anymore, that night was my breaking point. (insert here lengthy explanation of how i wanted to quit first year but teachers talked me out of it only to want to quit second year but being talked out of it too..) may 11th there's entry with no drawings just me writing "Right now I'm feeling that classic LONELINESS.. but heaven forbid i try talk to anyone (at home) about it... I'm not allowed to be sad because that'll just ruin the day for everyone else!" I'm turning 34 this year, I completed my transition 2017 which is same year I finally moved out officially. From then on both my suicidality and dysphoria left me and though I still struggle mentally and have incredibly bad days with panic attacks and all that, at least those two big evils have not returned. The growth and insight on my own mental state and character has been a lot since then too and now understanding myself better than ever, reading these entries im mortified about what kind of life I had to live back then wondering how the hell I made it through, but at the same time it really gives some hindsight perspective... like no wonder I struggle with debilitating anxiety order I guess the overall reason I write this is that, sometimes being reminded of the hell you've been in puts things in perspective in the now. I need to be kinder and gentler at myself. And so do you no matter what you have been or are going through. on (ig?) lighter note on some of the entries I was still drawing myself having dialogue about things with my """"""oc"""""" who was "my exact clone but a guy instead" and also had the name that's my actual legal name now.

#cw sui mention #cw depression #cw abuse #cw dysphoria #personal

[nerves-nebula]

Same thing happened to me. Different circumstances, but yeah it is super painful. My mom didn't tell me what I period was until I got it for the first time, and I wasn't even with her. I was at my grandmother's house and had to learn what they were from her, my mom only explained it to me after.

She also hasn't taught me hygiene either. I know the basics of course, the really obvious ones that are easy to do. Anything else? Hell if I know. I don't even know how to properly wash my hair, I have dandruff constantly. She complains about it, but she sure as hell isn't gonna teach me how.

Anyways, I wanted to write this to tell you that you aren't alone. This shit is incredibly common, for whatever reason. It sucks, but my advice is to just try. Focus on the now, and just try your best. Tacky advice, I know, but Focusing on the now will get you to the future. And that way you can prepare yourself for it, and actually know how to do it.

(You don't have to answer this ask, I just wanted to send some words of encouragement :D)

thank you, it feels really nice when people offer their stories unprompted like this <3

my mom taught us the basics too, by which I mean she TOLD them to us and barely ever enforced them. I've gotten better at showering regularly (probably still less than most people though) but I cant fuckin STAND brushing my teeth. it makes my mouth feel sooo gross and i never got into the habit of it so it's still difficult.

I used to have HORRIBLE dandruff too, and it itched so bad that I would scab my head all over scratching at it. turns out I have seborrheic dermatitis (diagnosed via tumblr user saying I might have it, and then a nurse confirming it lmao) and now I use a medical anti-dandruff shampoo from like. walgreens or something! I think its called selsun blue or something, so idk maybe that'll help?

ALSO FUCKING. I HAVE SO MANY ISSUES WITH HAIR. so im mixed and my mom has straight hair cause shes very white. so i am FUCKED cause god knows she wont learn to do black hair. but my hair isnt as tightly curled as my other siblings either, so im kind of just left floundering cause idk what kind of hair i even HAVE so how do i figure out how to take care of it??? all i know is that shampoo goes before conditioner ;O;

ANYWAY yeah you're advice here is actually pretty solid. unfortunately the truth is that when it comes to hygiene, you just have to try to do it consistently.

one thing that helps me take showers (and this is advice i got from ppl with ADHD, which i might also have idk) is to either set a timer or just don't. think.

if i think too much I'll never take a shower cuz i'll be thinking about how hard it is and how long it will take.

but if I think "i should shower" and just ride that thought out then I can collect all my things (towel, bodywash, etc) and go to the shower before I have the chance to change my mind.

my hygiene is still probably "gross" to most people but I've improved a lot so i'm proud of myself.

sorry for the ramble hah, I appreciate the encouragement <3

#nnstuff #ask #asks are sweethearts #neglect #child neglect #unhygienic