#if you’re not including transgender people and non binary people who are at risk as well | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

rivetgoth · 2 years

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I think part of what makes trans liberation a tricky convo for so many people is that there is a point where you have to acknowledge the fact that trans rights are going to overlap with butch cis lesbians, with cis male crossdressers, with GNC people who may or may not call themselves cis, with cis gay people, that the line between GNC cis woman and trans man actually is blurry when discussions of our rights are involved, as is effeminate cis man and trans woman, but so is effeminate cis man and trans man, and GNC cis woman and trans woman, and I don’t mean this in the “transphobia effects cis people too!” way where trans people are displaced as the main targets & instead priority is given to people experiencing splash damage (ie. when a masc cis woman is mistaken for a trans woman and then suddenly “trans allies” are taking transmisogyny seriously), I mean that, realistically, at what point does someone’s transness become proveable or tangible enough that we can be distinctly separated from cisgender counterparts when it comes to human rights and our autonomy on a legal level? There is a reason that transsexual and transgender and transvestite and drag king/queen and butch and crossdresser are all terms that can have overlap even when it doesn’t quite make sense. There is no autonomy or freedom if we suggest that the key to trans liberation is to give humanity only to transgender people who circle back around to perfectly conforming to gender but on the opposite playing field this time and leaving everyone slightly to the left of gender conformity to rot. But navigating this is a complete mess because from the outside there are MANY groups just jumping on the chance to nod sagely and agree that trans women are just crossdressing men, or trans men are actually just repressed tomboys, and one wrong word and it could very easily veer in that direction, and from within the community I think a lot of people resist this because they don’t WANT to be grouped with lesbians, or butch women, or crossdressers, or risk being degendered or misgendered for the same reasons I just mentioned. But what I’m saying isn’t “trans men are the same as butch cis women” or “trans women are the same as cis crossdressers,” it’s that these are not solidly separate groups that can be divided up cleanly, where one can earn civil rights and autonomy while the other does not. Trans men being afforded respect without GNC or butch womanhood being afforded respect is a facade because ultimately that respect is surface level and built upon respectability politics, the moment he is perceived as an individual assigned female at birth subverting that assignment he is back to square one. Transmisogyny won’t be stopped if trans women fitting a very narrow single definition of transfemininity earn some basic level of respect but anybody too far from that, any person assigned male at birth who engages with femininity or womanhood but just to the left of the binary transitioned passing trans woman, is still left to fall through the cracks. What you’re saying is that there is still a gender and sex binary that can and/or should exist, and trans rights are dependent on how well individuals can adhere to it “despite” their transness. Which both sucks and is just not a functional way to achieve true equal rights.

Obviously this leads to TERFs showing their asses all the time, when they make sweeping generalizations about womanhood that exclude large groups of cisgender women/anyone assigned female and when they & conservatives try to push laws that are just entirely regressive regarding gender roles that ultimately harm any GNC person regardless of trans status or lack thereof. It’s also why trans people are included within the LGBT acronym to begin with, because “queerness” or same sex attraction or non heteronormative identities or whatever you want to call it is inherently non-gender conforming by mainstream western Christian societal standards, and trans people are in some ways the furthest end of this nonconformity. This is why the result of the LGB vs the T being viewed as two separate distinct categories is transphobic LGBs acting -surprised pikachu face- when transphobic lawmakers time and time again turn on them next. “Gay people are fine but trans people aren’t” is never going to be a worldview that works in practice in the long-run, right from the get-go you’ve admitted that the moment somebody crosses the line you’ve created for what acceptable deviation from gender is that they are no longer deserving of human rights, and there is never an actual easy cut-off to that. Trans women BAD, but cross dressing men are okay? What if he lives full-time as a woman? What if he takes hormones? Cis women can be butch but they can’t call themselves men? So then what are you implying, that gender nonconformity is okay up until you use the wrong words, up until you undergo consensual body modification, as long as you go home at the end of the day and take it all off and look at your naked body and can happily say “Yep, I sure am glad that I’m a cis person even though I like to pretend?” Come on. At what point, then, is it “too gender nonconforming” to be a woman who dates other women, a man who has sex with other men, a person who chooses not to exist in a nuclear family unit? Remember awhile ago when someone did that article on how classic texts on conversion therapy consistently focused on curing gender nonconformity, with “same sex attraction” being one of many examples of the types of the “nonconformity” being treated?

#sorry this is super rambly I’m just thinking out loud

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enby-nyc · 1 year

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Achieving Confidence: Understanding How Chest Surgery Can Help Alleviate Chest Dysphoria in FTM Individuals

Date: 10 February, 2023

If you’re a trans man, chances are you have endured feelings of dysphoria associated with your chest. Whether directly or indirectly, this can take its toll on an individual's self-esteem and sense of confidence. Fortunately, one popular pathway for relieving chest dysphoria is undergoing chest surgery—something many see as the end goal in transition.

Understanding how chest surgery may help alleviate gender dysphoria requires understanding what common procedures exist and what to expect both before and after the procedure. Here, we will explore the various types of chest surgery (also referred to as top surgery) available and determine whether this is the right choice for you.

Table of Contents

Achieving Confidence: Understanding How Chest Surgery Can Help Alleviate Chest Dysphoria in FTM Individuals

What is chest dysphoria?

How can chest surgery help alleviate the symptoms of chest dysphoria for FTMs individuals?

Different Types of Chest Surgery Available to FTMs Individuals

Periareolar Top Surgery

Double-incision Top Surgery

Keyhole Top Surgery

How to prepare for chest surgery?

Do Your Research

Speak With Your Doctor

Get All Necessary Tests Done

Prepare for Recovery

Other Gender-Affirming Surgeries Available to FTM Individuals

Facial Masculinization Surgery

Body Masculinization Surgery

Voice Masculinization Surgery

Genital Reconstruction Surgery

Frequently Asked Questions About Chest Surgery for FTM Individuals

Are there any risks associated with undergoing chest surgery in FTM individuals?"

What is recovery from FTM top surgery like?

How much does top surgery cost?

Is swelling normal after FTM chest surgery?

Do I need to see a therapist before chest surgery?

Final Thoughts

What is chest dysphoria?

Chest dysphoria, otherwise known as chest discomfort, is a form of psychological distress that often arises in individuals who are gender non-conforming. This usually leads to gender dysphoria as well. For many transgender and non-binary people, dysphoria can manifest in an inability to accept their bodies in ways they deem appropriate.

Symptoms of chest dysphoria may include feelings of upset stemming from having breasts or not having muscular or defined pecs, avoidance of particular activities such as changing clothes around others, and feeling particularly self-conscious when seeing oneself in mirrors. Those with gender dysphoria pertaining to their chest may also feel like their clothes never fit well, their gender identity isn't being validated, and more. Chest dysphoria is not limited to young adults; people of any age group can experience this upsetting feeling.

Treatment for chest dysphoria may consist of seeing a trained mental health professional and utilizing coping strategies such as self-affirmation and acceptance of one's body. When looking for support for chest dysphoria, engaging with communities of other trans and non-binary people can be incredibly helpful; individuals can share the anxieties and struggles associated with dysphoria, normalizing them and thus cultivating a greater understanding of the issue. For all trans individuals, knowing the options for treating or curing chest dysphoria is a key way of ensuring that your outward appearance and physical features match your inner gender identity.

How can chest surgery help alleviate the symptoms of chest dysphoria for FTMs individuals?

Chest surgery is a critical and life-changing aspect of transitioning for FTMs individuals. The procedure can have a profoundly positive effect, not only on an individual's physical appearance but also on their overall psychological health. The term "chest dysphoria" specifically relates to the feeling of distress associated with the chest area being assigned the wrong gender.

Chest surgery provides many with the much-needed physical changes that lead to improved feelings of body satisfaction and better self-image. It can bring relief from feelings of profound discomfort related to having mismatched anatomy and is thus a major decision that should not be taken lightly or without consulting a mental healthcare provider first.

Ultimately, chest surgery offers immense potential as an effective method for helping FTMs individuals ease their symptoms of chest dysphoria and improve their sense of well-being in myriad ways. Remedying the feelings associated with dysphoria is also helpful in boosting overall health.

Different Types of Chest Surgery Available to FTMs Individuals

Periareolar Top Surgery

Individuals who identify as female-to-male (FTM) can undergo chest masculinization surgery to alter their chest. One of these surgical interventions available to FTMs is periareolar top surgery. This particular type of chest surgery involves creating a new chest contour using only the existing chest tissue; no implants are used. The nipple is usually reduced in size during this procedure, and its placement is adjusted so it appears in a more masculine position on the chest wall as well.

Periareolar top surgery requires a precise incision surrounding the areola, which leaves very little scarring following the operation. In addition, by utilizing advanced techniques such as nipple grafting or tissue rearrangement, results from this type of chest masculinization surgery can often look completely natural with minimal visible scarring. It is important for individuals interested in this type of chest surgery to carefully consider all options and consult with an experienced surgeon before scheduling a procedure.

Double-incision Top Surgery

Double-incision top surgery is one of the more popular types of chest surgeries available to FTM individuals who hope to have a more masculine chest appearance. This procedure involves creating two incisions on each side of the chest to remove excess breast tissue, reshaping the chest, and create more masculine contours.

The nipple-areola complex (NAC) will also be repositioned as part of this surgery, allowing for a more masculine appearance. This surgery is typically performed as an outpatient procedure under general anesthesia, although it may require more than one stage depending on the individual's body shape and desired outcome. Overall, double-incision top surgery can offer many FTM individuals the results they are looking for; patients can look forward to having a more masculine appearance with an improved confidence after the healing process is complete.

Keyhole Top Surgery

Keyhole top surgery is an important chest dysphoria measure available to individuals who identify as female-to-male. It is a minimally invasive surgical procedure involving several small incisions in the chest area to remove excessive breast tissue. Unique to keyhole chest surgery is that instead of obliterating the chest tissue, it reduces and reshapes it to give a flatter appearance.

By utilizing specialized tools within these small incisions, this technique can result in less scarring and a quicker recovery time than other chest surgeries. Additionally, keyhole chest surgery may also be ideal for those who wish to maintain nipple sensation due to the preservation of muscle and connective tissues associated with chest nipples. Keyhole chest surgery may be worth considering for effective chest dysphoria relief without more complex techniques.

How to prepare for chest surgery?

Preparing for chest surgery at any age can be an intimidating experience for trans people, but with a few steps the process can become much more manageable.

Do Your Research

It always helps to research and learn about the procedure beforehand to build knowledge and confidence. Along with this research, it is important to find experienced medical professionals knowledgeable about trans surgeries–such as plastic surgeons or gender-affirming care specialists–whom you trust and feel comfortable talking to throughout your preparation and recovery from the procedure.

Speak With Your Doctor

Before undergoing any type of surgery, it is important to speak with your doctor to ensure that the procedure is necessary and that you are healthy enough to undergo surgery. During this conversation, your doctor will likely explain the risks and benefits of the surgery and answer any questions that you may have.

Get All Necessary Tests Done

Your surgeon will likely order a series of tests to make sure you are healthy enough for surgery. These may include blood tests, a chest X-ray, and an electrocardiogram (EKG).

Prepare for Recovery

Last but not least, it is important to focus on prepping for a speedy recovery so that returning back to day-to-day life happens as soon as possible. Depending on various factors, such as type of operation, age, and overall health, healing times can vary. After thoroughly studying all elements of preparing for chest surgery as an FTM individual, it's time to take that jump into improving self-expression.

Other Gender-Affirming Surgeries Available to FTM Individuals

Facial Masculinization Surgery

Facial Masculinization Surgery (FMS) is a gender-affirming procedure designed to help trans-masculine individuals achieve a masculine appearance in their facial features. FMS can help align people's physical bodies with their gender identity by creating the aesthetic that they desire.

FMS involves making incisions around the forehead and brows to contour them and remove excess fat; altering the shape of the cheekbones, nose, lips, chin, and jawline; and changing the size of the ears. The procedures can be done individually or as part of an entire "transformation package, " including other procedures like chest reconstruction. The effectiveness of FMS in achieving a desired outcome varies according to individual anatomy and preferences, so FTM individuals seeking this surgery must take time to talk with a professional surgeon first to understand their options and assess if FMS is suitable for them.

Body Masculinization Surgery

Body masculinization surgery is an important form of gender-affirming surgery available to female-to-male individuals. This type of surgery generally involves removing excess breast tissue and reshaping the chest, as well as enhancing a variety of other bodily features in order to match those seen in cisgender men.

Moreover, body masculinization surgery goes beyond physical indicators and can involve procedures such as chest reconstruction or hysterectomy with oophorectomy. The procedure itself is often performed with the help of a trained plastic surgeon who can assist an FTM individual in creating a body that better matches their gender identity.

The end result of this type of gender-affirming surgery is usually increased self-confidence, improved quality of life, and contentment with how one feels about their body. It remains an important part of the transition process for many transgender individuals today, helping them find greater peace and well-being on their journey toward living authentically.

Voice Masculinization Surgery

Voice masculinization surgery is an important aspect of gender-affirming surgeries available to trans individuals. During this type of procedure, the voice box and throat are both operated on in order to masculinize the vocal cords and other related structures. They may also alter the mouth, jaw, tongue, and lips within the same surgery or with another one if desired. This type of procedure helps when transitioning from female to male, making it easier for individuals to pass as male and have their gender identity accepted. The results of this surgery can vary, but in general, a more masculine pitch is a common outcome.

Often times deeper pitches are achieved by changing the tension on certain parts of the vocal cord until the perfect masculinity is heard during vocal practice between periods before and after surgery. This type of procedure may not be for everyone. However, it can help many FTM individuals feel even more comfortable in their own skin. For those who prefer non-surgical treatment for voice-related transitioning, FTM voice training is an option.

Genital Reconstruction Surgery

Genital reconstruction surgery is a potentially life-changing type of gender-affirming operation for FTM individuals. It can provide one with the anatomy that aligns better with their gender identity, therefore improving mental health, and emotional well-being, and increasing overall confidence. In some cases, it is possible to not only create a fully functioning penis with sensation but also to reconstruct various aspects of the perineal region in order to create male genitalia that looks aesthetically pleasing or maximizes sexual pleasure.

The goal of this type of surgery is to reduce distress, improve satisfaction, and largely increase the quality of life. Furthermore, as technology advances, so do the ability to perform more complex alteration of external genitalia while preserving sensation while also making top surgeries more accessible than ever before. Genital reconstruction surgery is a relatively safe operation offering outcomes that are both functional and aesthetic.

Frequently Asked Questions About Chest Surgery for FTM Individuals

Are there any risks associated with undergoing chest surgery in FTM individuals?"

As with any medical procedure or surgery, there are risks associated with undergoing chest surgery in female-to-male individuals. The most common risks include infection and excessive blood loss, as well as potential complications from anesthesia. Excessive scarring, asymmetrical results, and nerve damage are also possible. Additionally, if the individual is below 18 years old, special complications may arise since surgery at this age may interfere with proper breast development and lead to potential hormonal imbalances later on in life. As such, careful consideration should be taken by any FTM young adults considering chest surgery so that they can make an informed decision on whether or not it's right for them.

What is recovery from FTM top surgery like?

Recovering from FTM top surgery is a unique experience that varies on a case-by-case basis. It is essential to have realistic expectations going into the procedure, as this can significantly influence how recovery goes. After the procedure and any post-operative care necessitated, swelling and bruising are expected in most cases; some limited discomfort or pain may be present but should be managed by HR clinicians (or through over-the-counter medication).

Most FTM patients return to day-to-day activities such as showering and other light activity within two weeks, with full recovery possible after two months. Occasionally, there may be some minor scarring due to the procedure; however, surgeons can make special efforts during operations in order to reduce this. Despite the amount of effort that needs to go into recovery following FTM top surgery, many reports are very satisfied with the final results, proving that this often difficult process is ultimately worth it!

How much does top surgery cost?

Top surgery is a major decision and, not surprisingly, an expensive one. The cost of this procedure can vary quite dramatically depending on the individual's insurance coverage, provider, and geographical location. For example, FTM patients within the same city may find that one surgeon's costs are double that of another.

Given that top surgery constitutes a significant investment in both time and money, it is important to do thorough research beforehand. Fortunately, there are various people and organizations out there who can offer advice and guidance on finding the best medical providers in your area. If you’re considering top surgery, it’s worth taking advantage of these free resources so that you can get the best possible price for the highest quality care.

Is swelling normal after FTM chest surgery?

Swelling after chest surgery is a normal part of the recovery process, as the body works to heal and adjust to the changes made during the procedure. Swelling may appear different for every individual, but typical effects can range from minor puffiness immediately following surgery all the way up to dramatic swelling and inflammation of the entire chest area.

Taking steps like dressing in loose apparel, sleeping upright with extra pillows, and applying cold packs periodically throughout recovery can help reduce swelling in the short term. However, resolving any existing pains or tightness may require additional medical attention, such as compression garments or physiotherapy. By remaining proud of your own progress and keeping in contact with a medical professional throughout your recovery period, you can work together to determine which methods provide you with long-term relief.

Do I need to see a therapist before chest surgery?

If you are considering undergoing chest surgery or hormone therapy, it may be beneficial for you to meet with a therapist beforehand. A therapist can help you process any potential fears and worries related to the surgical treatment, provide resources on what happens during it, and address issues of anxiety that people commonly feel while facing medical procedures.

A therapist can also support you in coping with the physical and emotional changes that accompany such operations, as well as deal with any concerns about how the surgery could impact your daily life. Ultimately, consulting with a therapist before heading into surgery can provide peace of mind and improved outcomes both physically and psychologically.

Final Thoughts

Gender-affirming surgery is an important part of the transition for many individuals in order to quell gender dysphoria. Not only do these procedures help in aligning one’s body with their gender identity, but they can also be hugely beneficial in terms of self-confidence and overall quality of life.

Genital surgery is another gender-affirming procedure that can provide trans individuals with the ability to have a body that more closely matches their gender identity. It is important to remember, though, that like all major surgeries, these operations come with risks and potential complications, so it is essential to consult a qualified medical professional before making any decisions. With the right care and guidance, gender-affirming surgeries can help transgender individuals take control of their transition journey and achieve a greater sense of well-being.

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hellomynameisbisexual · 3 years

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Travis has had both boyfriends and girlfriends since high school. But when his coworkers discovered his dating history at a board game night, they told him he couldn’t be bisexual. “Bi men don’t exist,” they said. “You’re just a confused gay guy.” Travis, 34, had brought his girlfriend with him that night, but they started calling her his “roommate” after they found out he was bi.

Santiago got an even harsher reaction when he came out to his family. “‘Bisexual’ is just code for insincere gay man” is how he said one of his relatives reacted. “He didn’t use the term ‘gay man,’” 24-year-old Santiago told me, “but I won’t repeat slurs.”

In the past couple of months, I’ve heard dozens of stories like these from bisexual men who have had their sexual orientations invalidated by family members, friends, partners, and even strangers. Thomas was called a “fence-sitter” by a group of gay men at a bar. Shirodj was told that he was “just gay but not ready to come out of the closet.” Alexis had his bisexuality questioned by a lesbian teacher who he thought would be an ally. Many of these same men have been told that women are “all a little bi” or “secretly bi” but that men can only be gay or straight, nothing else.

In other words, bisexual men are like climate change: real but constantly denied.

A full 2% of men identified themselves as bisexual on a 2016 survey from the Centers for Disease Control, which means that there are at least three million bi guys in the United States alone—a number roughly equivalent to the population of Iowa. (On the same survey, 5.5% of women self-identified as bisexual, which comes out to roughly the same number of people as live in New Jersey.) The probability that an entire state’s worth of people would lie about being attracted to more than one gender is about as close to zero as you can get.

But the idea that only women can be bisexual is a persistent myth, one that has been decades in the making. And prejudice with such deep historical roots won’t disappear overnight.

👬👫👬👫

To understand why bisexual men are still being told that their sexual orientation doesn’t exist, we have to go back to the gay liberation movement of the late 1960s. That’s when Dr. H. Sharif “Herukhuti” Williams, a cultural studies scholar and co-editor of the anthology Recognize: The Voices of Bisexual Men, told me that male sexual fluidity got thrown under the bus in the name of gay rights—specifically white, upper-class gay rights.

“One of the byproducts of the gay liberation movement is this…solidifying of the [sexual] binary,” Herukhuti told me, citing the Harlem Renaissance of the 1920s as a pre-Stonewall period of relatively unstigmatized sexual fluidity.

Four decades later, the gay liberation movement created a new type of man—the “modern gay man,” Herukhuti calls him—who was both “different from and similar to” the straight man. As Jillian Weiss, now the executive director of the Transgender Legal Defense Fund, wrote in a 2003 review of this same history, “gays and lesbians campaigned for acceptance by suggesting that they were ‘just like you,’ but with the single (but extremely significant exception) of [having] partners of the same sex.” Under this framework, attraction to a single gender was the unifying glue between gay men, lesbians, and straight people—bisexual people were just “confused.”

Bisexual people realized that they would have to form groups and coalitions of their own if they wanted cultural acceptance. But just as bisexual activism was gaining a foothold in the 1980s, the AIDS crisis hit, and everything changed—especially for bisexual men.

“AIDS forced certain bisexual men out [of the closet], it forced a lot of bisexual men back in, and then it killed off a number of them,” longtime bisexual activist and author Ron Suresha told me.Those deaths hindered the development of male bisexual activism at a particularly critical moment. “A number of men who would have been involved and were involved in the early years of the bi movement died—and they died early and they died quickly,” bisexual writer Mike Syzmanski recalled.

The AIDS crisis also gave rise to one of the most pernicious and persistent stereotypes about bisexual men, namely that they are the “bridge” for HIV transmission between gay men and heterosexual women. As Brian Dodge, a public health researcher at Indiana University, told me, this is a “warped notion” that has “never been substantiated by any real data.” The CDC, too, has debunked the same myth in the specific context of U.S. black communities: No, black men on the “down low” are not primarily responsible for high rates of HIV among black women.

For decades, bisexual men have been portrayed—even within the LGBT community—as secretly gay, sexually confused vectors of disease.

In 2016, bisexual men are still feeling the effects of the virus and the misperceptions around it.

“We’re still underrepresented on the boards of almost all of the national bisexual organizations,” Suresha told me, referring to the fact that women occupy most of the key leadership positions in bisexual activism. And in a new, nationally representative study of attitudes toward bisexual people, Dodge and his research team found that 43% of respondents agreed —at least somewhat—with the statement: “People should be afraid to have sex with bisexual men because of HIV/STD risks.”

For decades, bisexual men have been portrayed—even within the LGBT community—as secretly gay, sexually confused vectors of disease. Is it any wonder that they are still fighting to shed that false image today? It’s hard to convince people that you exist when they barely see you as human.

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It’s not that bisexual women have it easy. Both bisexual men and women are much less likely than gay men and lesbians to be out of the closet, with only 28% telling Pew that most of the important people in their life know about their orientation. Collectively, bisexual people also have some of the worst mental health outcomes in the LGBT community and their risk of intimate partner violence is disturbingly high. Bisexual people also face discrimination within the LGBT community while fending off accusations that their orientation excludes non-binary genders. (In response, bisexual educator Robyn Ochs defines “bisexuality” as attraction to “people of more than one sex and/or gender” rather than just to “men and women.”)

And on top of these general problems, bisexual women are routinely hypersexualized, stereotyped as “sluts,” dismissed as “experimenting,” and harassed on dating apps. Their bisexuality is reduced to a spectacle or waved away as a “phase.”

But it is still bisexual men who seem to have their very existence questioned more often.

Suresha pointed me to a 2005 New York Times article with the headline “Straight, Gay, Or Lying? Bisexuality Revisited,” the fallout of which he saw as “a disaster for bi people.” The article reported on a new study “cast[ing] doubt on whether true bisexuality exists, at least in men.” The study in question measured the genital arousal of a small sample of men and found, as the Times summarized, that “three-quarters of the [bisexual male] group had arousal patterns identical to those of gay men; the rest were indistinguishable from heterosexuals.”

“It got repeated and repeated in all sorts of media,” Suresha recalled. “People reported it in news briefs on the radio, in print, in magazines, all over the place.”

As the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force noted in its response to the article, the original study had some clear methodological limitations—only 33 self-identified bisexual men were included and participants were recruited through “gay-oriented magazines”—but the Times went ahead and reported that the research “lends support to those who have long been skeptical that bisexuality is a distinct and stable sexual orientation.”

“Show me the quest for scientific proof that heterosexuality exists. It begins and ends with even just one person saying, ‘I’m straight.’” — Amy Andre, Huffington Post

The article fueled the devious narrative that male bisexuality was just homosexuality in disguise. The lived experiences of bisexual men don’t support that narrative—and neither does science—but its power comes from prejudice, not from solid evidence.

And unsurprisingly, the 2005 study’s conclusions did not survive the test of time. In fact, one of the co-authors of that study went on to co-author a 2011 study which found that “bisexual patterns of both subjective and genital arousal” did indeed occur among men. The New York Times Magazine later devoted a feature to the push for the 2011 study, briefly acknowledging the paper’s previous poor coverage. But many in the bisexual community were unimpressed that the scientific community was still being positioned as the authority on the existence of bisexual men.

“Show me the quest for scientific proof that heterosexuality exists,” Amy Andre wrote on the Huffington Post in response to the feature. “It begins and ends with even just one person saying, ‘I’m straight.’”

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One of the most tragic things about society’s refusal to accept bisexual men is that we don’t even know why it is still so vehement. Dodge believes that his new study offers some hints—the persistent and widespread endorsement of the HIV “bridge” myth is alarming—but he told me that he would need “more qualitative and more focused research” before he could definitively state that HIV stigma is the primary factor driving negative attitudes toward bisexual men. (Research in this area is indeed sorely lacking. The last major study on the subject prior to the survey Dodge’s team conducted was published in 2002.)

In the meantime, bisexual advocates have developed plenty of compelling theories, many of them focused on the dominance of traditional masculinity. For example, Herukhuti explained that “we live in a society in which boundaries between men are policed because of patriarchy and sexism.” Men are expected to be “kings of their kingdom”—not to share their domain.

“For men to bridge those boundaries with each other—the only way that we can conceive of that is in the sense that these are ‘non-men,’” Herukhuti told me, adding that, in a patriarchal society, gay men are indeed seen as “non-men.” The refusal to accept that men can be bisexual, then, is partly a refusal to accept that someone who is bisexual can even be a man.

Many of the bisexual men I interviewed endorsed this same hypothesis. Kevin, 25, told me that “it’s seen as really unmanly to be attracted to men.” Another Kevin, 26, added that “the core concept of masculinity doesn’t leave room for anything besides extremes.” Justin, in his mid 20s, said that “men are one way and gay men are another way [but] bisexual men are this weird middle ground.”

Our society doesn’t seem to do well with more than two—especially when so many still believe that there’s only one right way to be a man.

And Michael, 28, added that bisexual men are “symbolically dangerous”—a “big interior threat to hetero masculinity” because of a shared attraction to women. It’s easy for a straight guy to differentiate himself from the modern gay man, but how can he reassure himself that he is nothing like his bisexual counterpart?

The answer is obvious: He can equate male bisexuality with homosexuality.

The logic needed to balance that equation, Herukhuti explained to me, is disturbingly close to the racist, Jim Crow-era “one-drop rule,” which designated anyone with the slightest bit of African ancestry as black for legal purposes.

“For a male to have had any kind of same-sex sexual experience, they are automatically designated as gay, based on that one-drop rule,” Herukhuti said. “And that taints them.”

To see that logic at work, look no further than the state of HIV research, much of which still groups gay and bisexual men together as MSM, or men who have sex with men. Dodge, who specializes in the area of HIV/AIDS, explained that “when a man reports sexual activity with another man, that becomes the recorded mode of transmission and there’s no data reporting about female or other partners.” Bisexual men have their identities erased—literally—from the resulting data.

“A really easy way to fix this,” Dodge added, “would be to just create a separate surveillance category.”

But when it comes to categories, our society doesn’t seem to do well with more than two—especially when so many still believe that there’s only one right way to be a man.

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The situation of bisexual men is not hopeless. Slowly but surely, they are expanding the horizons of masculinity. The silver lining in Dodge’s study, for example, is that there has been a decided “‘shift’ in attitudes toward bisexual men and women from negative to more neutral in the general population” over the last decade or so, although negative attitudes toward bisexual men were still “significantly greater” than the negativity directed at their female peers.

“Put the champagne on the ice,” Dodge joked. “We’re no longer at the very bottom of the barrel but we’ve still got a ways to go.”

That distance will likely be shortened by a rising generation that is far more tolerant of sexual fluidity than their predecessors. Respondents to Dodge’s survey who were under age 25 had more positive attitudes toward bisexuality, perhaps because so many of them openly identify as LGBTQ themselves—some as bisexual, some as pansexual, and some refusing labels altogether.

That growing acceptance is starting to be reflected in movies and on television, once forms of media that were, and still often are, notoriously hostile to bisexual men. A character named Darryl came out as bisexual with a myth-busting song on Crazy Ex-Girlfriend and, as GLAAD recently noted, other shows like Shadowhunters and Black Sails are starting to do bi male representation right. The HBO comedy Insecure even made biphobia into a powerful storyline when one straight female character, Molly, shunned her love interest when he told her that he once had oral sex with a guy in a college. But other shows, like House of Cards, are still using a male character’s bisexuality as a way to accentuate his villainy.

Ultimately, bisexual men themselves will continue to be the most powerful force for changing hearts and minds. I asked each bisexual man I interviewed what he would want the world to know about his sexual orientation. Some wanted to clear up specific misconceptions but so many of them simply wanted people to acknowledge that male bisexuality is not fake.

“It’s important that bisexuality be acknowledged as real,” said Martyn, 30, adding that “there’s only so long someone can hold on to a part of themselves that seems invisible before it starts to make them doubt their own sense of self.”

“I am happy being bisexual and I’m not looking for an answer,” said Dan, 19. “I’m not trying things out, I’m not using this as a placeholder to discover my identity. This is who I am. And I love it.”

Samantha Allen is a reporter for Fusion’s Sex+Life vertical. She has a PhD in Women’s, Gender, and Sexuality Studies from Emory University and was the 2013 John Money Fellow at the Kinsey Institute. Before joining Fusion, she was a tech and health reporter for The Daily Beast.

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transgenderteensurvivalguide · 3 years

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Hey, I hope this won't come across as insensitive or offensive. But I was wondering as Elliot Page came out as non-binary/trans, but I saw on their Wikipedia page that they're 33 years old. Now as a cis person I obvs can't relate at all, but I always thought that people often realised this earlier in their life? Not saying 33 is old of course I just feel like often people realise they don't identify with the gender they got assigned at birth earlier in their lives? Or can it happen at any time?

Roxie says:

it’s perfectly normal (and even common) to realise you’re trans (or to come out as trans) in your 30s, or even much later.

i know plenty of people who didn’t realise they were trans until Elliot’s age (and later), i just think it seems like most trans and non-binary people come out young because we’re in an environment (tumblr) where the majority of people are younger than that!

From our What gender am I? post:

To Survive On This Shore (Photographs and Interviews with Transgender and Gender Nonconforming Older Adults)

My Transgender Life — Transitioning at Age 64 (has some misgendering of Caitlyn Jenner)

How a Sliver of Glass Changed My Life (Injury mention)

hope this helped :)

Followers say:

nose-bl said: also maybe he already knew from years ago but wasn't ready to be open about it!! that can happen too

jax4lyfe0925 said: It’s also easier to come out now a days compared to the past, so maybe they hid it for awhile

jenny-in-tx said: I didn’t come out until I was in my mid 40s.

egg-sharts said: yeah he might have already known but decided to not say anything for obvious privacy reasons

devilkingmik said: Let's see here I started having feelings for boys around kindergarten realized it was called gay at 5th grade started catching feelings for both boys and girls at 21 then after soul searching realized I'm pansexual at 26. So yeah it's a life long journey.

chibikittens said: Some people also won’t even know about transgender identities later in life too, keeping them from knowing who they are sooner. (They don’t exactly include us in sex ed, after all.)

ubertumbleweed said: I'm 35, and came out and started HRT this year. No shame to anyone who comes out later — or never! The world is hard, and we all need to navigate it our own ways in our own time. My doctor's guidelines for trans healthcare still, in 2020, include a template for helping patients apply for uninsurance because it's still incredibly likely we'll lose our jobs. And quite frankly, 35 was the first time I was financially secure enough to risk it.

#Roxie says #i dont know how tagging works any more sorry gang #Elliot Page #coming out #questioning #realizing #Anonymous

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stargazetheseries · 3 years

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OPEN CASTING CALL FOR STARGAZE: “THE PILOT” EPISODE & TRAILER VISIT: https://stargazetheseries.com/casting-call/ FOR DETAILS OR READ BELOW: A Borken Creative Production Sept 27, 2021 STARGAZE is a queer campy sci-fi adventure short-form adventure series intended for OTT. Executive Producers: Jill Golick, Carrie Cutforth Director: Regan Latimer Writer: Carrie Cutforth Union: ACTRA TORONTO (NEW MEDIA) Shoot: The pilot will begin shooting for 5 to 6 days between October 25-Nov 17th, 2021 Location: Toronto STORYLINE: A disparate group of rookie oddballs join an elite squad commissioned to save the Queerverse (from itself) only to discover the STARGAZE program is a sham make-work initiative to keep the crew from rocking the boat by sending them out on a fool’s quest (led by two elder queer chaperones who despise each other). Think: A 2SLGBTQIA+ The Facts Of Life meets The Breakfast Club in space! *BIPOC STRONGLY ENCOURAGED TO APPLY **MUST BE 18+ TO SUBMIT EVEN IF CHARACTER IS LISTED AS YOUNGER THE STARTGAZE RECRUITS: SAF RON (she/her): Character is 20, cisgender woman, lesbian, open to all ethnicities; some physical comedy required. LEAD. Mad as hell and not going to take it anymore, Saf joins STARGAZE with high expectations. If the adults won’t save the day, she will… and finally get the credit she deserves! But can this lone wolf learn to connect with others, stop being a control freak, relax her unreasonably high expectations of others (and herself), and step into the leadership role for which she is destined? First, she’ll have to stop seeing anyone getting in her way as a mustache-twirling villain, learn to see her crewmates’ value, accept help, and open herself up vulnerably. Gets apoplectic when mad; Has a knack for creating very convoluted protest chants that no one can follow. WHIT SPRINKLES (he/him): Character is 19, cisgender man, gay, open to all ethnicities. Must be able to walk elegantly in high heels. LEAD. A social media influencer famous for his snarky and bitter ’reads,’ charismatic Whit has developed a parasocial relationship with his stans. Living life performing in the spotlight from a very young age, Whit has no idea who he really is, what his real interests are, or his beliefs outside of what his analytics tell him: “My fans are gonna love this!” Only joining STARGAZE under pressure from his stans, his inability to forge true intimate connections is exacerbated by his relationship with his mother/manager Mumsy Sprinkles, a talentless hack/narcissistic stage mother living her dreams through her kid. If Whit was a meme he would be: ‘Bitch, I dun give a fuck!’ But he does, indeed, give a fuck. ESSA T. HATCH (they/them): Character is 18, non-binary or agender, asexual, demiromantic, neurodivergent, open to all ethnicities. LEAD. Adorkable Essa is an introvert who doesn’t really ‘get’ people. The explorer among the crew with an engineering mind and a love of mapping places and spaces, they know every nook and cranny of the ship and are usually the first to forge ahead (i.e. wander off) on every expedition. Essa mostly wants to be left alone to their own devices because they actually prefer their own company (neurotypicals can be so exhausting!). This normally wouldn’t be such a problem except Essa was pressured to join STARGAZE to make friends and widen their social net out of parental concern (‘We won’t be around forever, Essa!’). Loves to knit, make Venn diagrams of relationships; speaks in emojis when emotionally drained. LEW D’SHUS (he/him): Character is 21, transgender man or transmasculine, pansexual, open to all ethnicities. LEAD. When babelicious Lew looks at you with his rapt attention and dreamy eyes, you feel like the only person in the ‘verse until his short attention span snaps away and he forgets you’re there. “Good vibes, only!” Lew will gladly give you your Tarot card reading, but not before taking the negative cards out first. With his strict ‘the universe is love, we are love,’ mantra, Lew never wants anyone to feel bad even when they are deadass wrong! His philosophy of

appeasement can cause conflict amongst the crew and his inability to take sides in crucial moments will often put them in danger. No, we cannot just hug everything out, Lew! CHRYSTRAH SNU (she/her): Character is 17 (must be 18+ to apply), cis-gender woman, identifies as ‘queer’ but just figuring it all out. LEAD. Chrystrah is a fresh-off-the-belt queer who has arrived with big expectations: ‘I’m here, I’m queer! Direct me to my spot on the rainbow carpet!’ The trauma of her homophobic upbringing has left Chrystrah without any real sense of self; her identity loosely held together like a fragile cracked egg. Any criticism, no matter how gentle, feels like an attack, causing Chrystrah to act abrasive, territorial, and defensive. She is always overcompensating in big bombastic ways because she feels so inadequate for not knowing the right words, behaviours, and codes. She is jealous of Saf (some might say obsessed) who does seem to get it all right. Fiercely loyal, Chrystrah is the first to run headlong into danger to save someone. She has a steep learning curve ahead. THE ELDER QUEER CHAPERONES: BAE TORGA (she/her): Character is late 30’s-early 40’s, cisgender woman, bisexual, bipolar, open to all ethnicities. PRINCIPAL. A war hero (or war criminal depending on who you ask), Bae sees STARGAZE as an opportunity to redeem herself in the eyes of former mentor and friend Oracle Cain. She is someone who struggles with self-loathing and self-doubt even though she’s spent her adulthood righting her past wrongs and reining in her bipolar disorder, which contributed to her past rash and reckless mistakes. Possessing a tough, gruff demeanor, Bae is outwardly sardonic but really a bleeding heart who holds back out of fear that any demonstration of affection and empathy will be seen as a commitment. ORACLE CAIN (she/her): Character is middle-aged or older, transgender woman, ambulatory wheelchair user or wheelchair user, open to all ethnicities. *Note, as this is sci-fi, younger than middle age may apply. PRINCIPAL. A founding figure of the Queerverse, Oracle has done her service, done her duty, and now she’s done. She wants a peaceful existence to guard her limited energy and manage her physical pain. Instead, she’s pulled out of retirement to command a ship full of bickering youths. She also has to contend with spoiled brat and former colleague Bae reminding her of the past that Oracle is trying hard to forget. But duty is duty and it’s not like complaining ever got her anywhere. Talking to Oracle can feel like playing a chess game where the aloof commander is always five steps ahead: you never quite know where you stand with her. ADDITIONAL CHARACTERS ELP WHIPP (they/them or xe/xem): Character is middle-aged or older, gender-fluid, open to all ethnicities. Leader of the coalition of non-profit planets (each with its own conflicting Gay Agenda) that rule the Queerverse, Elp Whipp is a career bureaucrat/bean-counter who often gets caught in the trappings of their own political web — meaning much of nothing ever gets accomplished and progress is never made. Elp will appear throughout the series in that ‘Dean of the school’ role, occasionally showing up to demand overdue reports, warn the crew that their funding is at risk, and generally throw a wrench in the works. CARDIGAN JACK (she/her): Character is 30s, cis-woman, lesbian, open to all ethnicities. Cardigan Jack is a ‘pussy-hat’ wearing neo-liberalist feminist with a pirate vibe. She is the ‘Live, Laugh, Love’ of TERFs, and Saf Ron’s nemesis. TO SUBMIT: Borken Creative is committed to diverse and inclusive casting. For every role, please submit qualified performers without regard to disability, race, age, colour, sexual orientation or gender identity, or any other basis prohibited by law, unless otherwise specifically indicated, subject to legitimate casting directives. DEADLINE: Oct 8, 2021 EMAIL: [email protected]. SUBJECT LINE: Character(s) Role, Performer’s First and Last Name, pronouns. BODY OF EMAIL: Please provide contact info including phone number.

Please confirm you are 18 or over in the body of email if applying for a Stargaze recruit character. Submit headshot and resume as attachments to [email protected]. Resume should be in a scannable text file format (such as .doc, .pdf, .txt). First round selects will be invited to submit either a video clip audition or zoom audition invite. Only successful candidates will be contacted.

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#lgbtq #lbtqia #lgbtqplus #queer sci fi #casting call #auditions

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writcraft · 4 years

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Gender Reform (UK)

In case anyone needs to hear this from me, allow me to make it abundantly clear. I feel strongly about protecting women from the gender-based violence and misogyny they experience throughout their lives. I unequivocally include transgender women within that remit and do not distinguish them as separate or apart from that purpose, because they are women. I wholly support the use of the phrase ‘people who menstruate’ as a more inclusive term which captures our trans men and my non-binary siblings.

I have been mulling over what to post about JKR’s ongoing statements, hoping to use my own research and experience working with trans people who are in the process of transitioning to add something valuable, but I’ve found myself becoming increasingly exhausted and angered by my concerns that the crux of the issue is getting entirely lost. That was exacerbated today by the bringing out of receipts with this scientist said one thing, this scientist said the other, this is one trans experience, this is another seems to me to risk descending into academic back and forth. I want to go back to the very basics of the issue at hand, which are driven by proposed reforms to UK legislation.

In the UK there have been numerous calls for a reform of the Gender Recognition Act 2004 to enable self-determination of gender on passports. Despite my personal feelings on the matter, which are the right of transgender people to live peacefully and without harm is paramount, the knowledge (from multiple first hand accounts and my activist work) that it takes literal years to medically transition in the UK and the fact that as a queer person I find debating someone’s identity deeply problematic, here’s the very bare bones of what I consider to be the two key GRA issues and why you should, if you’re in the UK, be writing to your MPs and lobbying for these changes.

The UK government intends to scrap plans to allow people to gender self-determine on their passports.

The ability to allow people to do this has been debated for a number of years and somewhat surprisingly it was the Tories (under Theresa May) that suggested this idea of ‘gender autonomy’ would be progressed. Now, from proposals leaked to the media, it seems those advancements might be ditched. So why does the ability to determine ones own gender identity on a passport get met with such fearmongering? I’m honestly not entirely sure, and that’s not because of my ‘pro-trans bias’ or inability to consider any possibility of abuse, but rather because we have a comparable precedent.

In July 2015 Ireland passed the Gender Recognition Act which basically allows exactly what those of us lobbying for gender recognition reform in the UK have been suggesting. As far as I’m aware in the eight jurisdictions have introduced self-determined legal gender (Argentina, Malta, Denmark, Ireland, Norway, Sweden, Colombia and Belgium) there have been no reports of this power being abused. There are checks and balances in place and I don’t understand why in this ‘debate’ we’re not discussing the countries where this is already good law.

According to research in Ireland 230 people have relied on the Gender Recognition Act so far and by way of reminder Ireland has a population of over 4 million, so there has been no ‘floodgate.’ There also hasn’t been any erasure of women’s rights or of same-sex partnerships. In actual fact, as a country whose politics was controlled for many years by the Catholic Church, women’s rights in Ireland were kind of terrible. The Abortion Referendum was a huge turning point in 2018 and same-sex marriage became legal in November 2015, a couple of months after the Gender Recognition Act was implemented. There has been no erasure of ‘lesbian’ and ‘gay’, the fight for women and queer people more broadly continues and the ability of people to self-determine their gender on their passports appears (at least on my research) to have had literally no impact on those movements.

Part of the leaked reforms suggested a form of ‘bathroom bill’ might be introduced in the UK which would deny access to people based on biological sex.

You cannot say you stand in solidarity with trans people and support this because you are supporting a legislative shift that would strip away the rights trans people already have. In the UK the notion of a ‘bathroom bill’ would be a new piece of legislation. That means that all the debates and arguments about men masquerading as trans to try to gain access to these spaces would already be a thing and yet these issues aren’t being reported about why? BECAUSE TRANS PEOPLE ARE NOT PREDATORS. The problem DOESN’T EXIST. To your ‘well if ANYONE can self-identify’ point above, when was the last time you took your passport to use the loo?

My suggestion is the government works on providing more funding to already desperately underfunded crisis centers and supporting those in need of those spaces which in many cases will include the trans women who already use them. Violence against women is heinous and it is not disputed. That it primarily occurs at the hands of men is also not disputed. Introducing some new legislation that vilifies trans people and allows random members of the public to police a vaguely ‘queer’ looking person’s right to access safe spaces (or just go to the bathroom) does literally nothing to address the violence that women are routinely subject to and arguably runs the risk of inciting more violence.

If you are queer and not trans but you are in any way gender nonconforming, I would suggest these proposals should be of a concern to you too.

In conclusion

There is SO MUCH NOISE on social media about this right now and arguing with someone like JKR on Twitter is something you (I’m speaking to my trans, queer people) need to do in a way that doesn’t harm your own mental health, because there is a POWER IMBALANCE involved. I’m not saying don’t speak up at all (silence = violence and all that) but just, be careful. Please.

We are not in some deconstructionist, queer theory, fourth wave feminism etc. debate. Of course you can find scientific, psychological, feminist, social justice, whatever field of study you’re working with, arguments on the pro side and on the con side. Arguing about someone’s right to mental and physical safety like it’s an academic point scoring debating competition is gross.

You cannot read that 91% of transgender murders in America 2019 were Black women and say that is not a feminist issue. You cannot say you stand with those transgender people but not the transgender community as a whole when you understand that the trans panic defense continues to be used today in America as a justification for violence against transgender people. You cannot know that and fail to recognise how the narrative of the trans villain infiltrating ‘women only’ spaces plays into precisely those hands.

As LGBTQIA people we literally owe our rights to gender nonconforming people. Don’t do them a disservice now by gatekeeping access to a space we all want to call home.

#transphobia #trans activism #anti-jkr #anti-terf #speaking out #queer rights

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raavenb2619 · 4 years

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I hope this isn't an umm inappropriate question somehow, but can the label trans, or maybe more of an umbrella term, be used for all non-binary identities?

Great question! It depends on what idea you’re trying to express.

If you’re looking for an umbrella term that includes lots of identities like agender, genderfluid, demigender, maverique, genderflux, etc, the best term to use is probably “nonbinary”. Some nonbinary people consider themselves to be trans, but others don’t, so trans isn’t the best word to use in this specific case.

If you’re looking for an umbrella term that includes nonbinary people, but also includes binary trans people, the best term to use is probably “trans” or “transgender”. Depending on the context and how you’re using it, you may be able to make it clear that you’re trying to refer to anyone who doesn’t solely and completely identify as the gender they were assigned at birth by saying something like “trans and nonbinary”. However, this phrase runs the risk of implying that “trans” doesn’t include “nonbinary” even though it sometimes does, so it’s important to make sure that your usage is consistent. (That is, if you say “trans and nonbinary” in some places but only “trans” in others, nonbinary people might think that the latter doesn’t include them.)

As an aside, any rebloggers/followers want to weigh in on their thoughts about “trans and nonbinary” vs “trans” as a way of referring to the group of people that don’t solely and completely ID as their AGAB, and/or suggest possible alternatives?

Hope that helps, as always feel free to ask for clarification/any follow up questions.

#ask #anon #original #nonbinary #transgender #enby #trans #terminology #language #Anonymous

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tervacious · 4 years

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Lol, but also Liz is out her damn mind.

Senator Elizabeth Warren (D., Mass.) said earlier this week that she would only nominate a Secretary of Education who was pre-screened by a “young transgender person” in order to ensure that her pick would be “committed to creating a welcoming environment, a safe environment, and a full educational curriculum for everyone.”

...The Massachusetts Democrat went on to explain that any candidate for the position first had to be a former public-school teacher, and then had to go through an interview conducted by a young transgender person Warren had met on the campaign trail who was worried about the lack of a “welcoming community” in public schools.

Maybe I’m too Old for these things but I remember distinctly that you had to go to school regardless of your little feelings, and I’m pretty sure that’s still the case. I don’t recollect being consulted At All as to whether I thought school, public or private, was a “welcoming community” for young girls or young women, and I have a feeling plenty of boys and young men were also probably not consulted. But by all means, let’s make sure a fraction of a percent of young people are catered to, especially if it means we can pretend to be really virtuous and also hopefully throw other, especially female, students under the bus some more.

“I said, I’m going to have a Secretary of Education that this young trans person interviews, on my behalf, and only if this person believes that our Secretary of Education nominee is truly as committed to creating a welcoming environment, a safe environment, and a full educational curriculum for everyone, will that person be actually advanced to be Secretary of Education,” Warren explained.

Can you imagine if Warren said “Look, sexism in schools is a genuine problem that leads to sexual assaults on young women and girls, so no one can become Secretary of Education unless a random thirteen year-old girl from Hiawatha, Iowa, approves of them after a one on one interview.” Now granted, that would probably improve things if we did that across the board, having random thirteen year-old girls from across the nation approving various appointments to public office, but would anyone be cool with that? Hell to the NAH.

Warren has released several plans highlighting her agenda to promote transgender talking points. A recent plan detailing how to restore “Integrity and Competence to Government after Trump” included a commitment to have at least half of Warren’s Cabinet be filled by “women and non-binary people.”

Every time Liz seriously uses terms like “non-binary” I’m just

Bitch put “she/her” in her Twitter bio and not a soul on her campaign felt the need to remark “That’s definitely trying too hard, okay? You’re seventy years old. Chill out. Trans identity politics are way out of your wheelhouse, the country would be better served if you focus on bankruptcy law reform or some shit. Damn.”

In October, Warren released her criminal justice reform platform, which included an end to the “Trump Administration’s dangerous policy” of jailing prisoners based on their biological sex, and also proposed providing “transition-related surgeries,” to already-incarcerated inmates.

Now of course this bit is nothing whatsoever to laugh at, except in the sense that as short a time ago as 2012 she adamantly opposed the idea of inmate sex change operations, so I guess she just suddenly “evolved” on that issue, same as she evolved to lying about her colleague being sexist on a national stage, about her dad in her commercials, about her heritage over the last fifty years, etc etc. I mean she’s not an honest person is what I’m saying here.

Someone on this website will think everything I’ve cited here is Amazing and Woke and that I’m not making the argument I think I’m making, but anyone who believes that probably also thinks demisexuality is an actual identity and not just basic common sense, so I’ll take the risk.

#not radical feminism exactly but radfem adjacent probably #again I'm at Electoral Ground Zero I'm gonna be venting on this blog about shit

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happiersuggestion · 4 years

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Feminism means equality. Equality includes everyone.

Because apparently it needs to be said, for the safety of my followers, I would prefer you to unfollow me if you identify as a TERF. I stand with my transgender and gender non-conforming followers. You deserve love, respect, and equality.

I have a lot to say about this, but I put it below the cut because I know transphobia can be a painful topic.

I want to openly and loudly reject TERFs because their version of “radical feminism” only exists to deny rights to people that they perceive to be different from them in unacceptable ways. The fact is that it takes nothing away from you, as a woman, to recognize transgender and non-gender conforming people as just as human as you are, and therefore just as deserving of rights. It costs nothing to listen to a trans/GNC person, read a book by a trans/GNC author, or otherwise seek out views that are not just going to reinforce your own thinking. Of course you can ask questions. Of course you can feel uncomfortable or confused. Of course you may not understand everything right away. It’s not transphobic to be curious, to question what you hear or read, or to own your biases. It is transphobic to outright reject someone else’s identity on the premise that you don’t understand it.

If you choose to learn more, please proceed with respect. Transgender people are more likely to experience harassment, mistreatment, discrimination, unemployment, poverty, and violence than the general population. Piling on to transphobic hate, spreading transphobic ideas without questioning them, and denying transgender people their identity only adds to these problems. Even if you personally don’t understand transgender or GNC identities yet, surely you can understand that hateful rhetoric only spurs on those who would act violently against trans and GNC individuals. At the most basic level, this is about recognizing our shared humanity. There is no reason to attack other people for their identity when you know perfectly well that they are already at risk. Oppression is not a contest.

If you are a person who believes in “radfem” ideology: I would ask you to consider whether your exclusion of this particular group from your brand of feminism comes from a place of love or a place of hate. If the answer is hate, then the beliefs you espouse are not so much beliefs as they are a complex way to justify your pre-existing hatred. Ask yourself why you believe certain people are undeserving of basic dignity and respect. Ask yourself why you’re trying to justify this inequality under the guise of “feminism.” Instead of creating false competitions for equal rights, we can all work together to understand each other and lift each other up. No one should feel like they have to justify their existence in order to be treated with respect. Consider that anyone telling you that a certain group doesn’t deserve equal rights must therefore believe that those rights are reserved only for them, as though rights are intended to be served on a silver platter only to those who are deemed “deserving.” Ask yourself if you believe that’s okay.

TLDR; Even if you can’t personally understand non-binary identities, that doesn’t invalidate them. It just means that you have more listening and learning to do. Please consider educating yourself on this issue.

I’m sure that I myself have much more learning to do here, too. I would appreciate if people could add book recommendations, articles, videos, or other information on non-binary identities. For those who are completely new to this, you could start here.

#lgbt #/transphobia #mine

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queer-cat-policy · 4 years

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Hi! I’m Ace!

Hi, I am ace. Not like the ace of spades but rather ace as in the slang for Asexual. And here I am, telling you, a stranger this. Not just a stranger but many. Writing essays, countless posts, and telling the world as kindly as possible about how I exist is pretty exhausting. But it is more exhausting being invisible. So now I join a movement, an invisible one fighting for visibility, so that maybe, just maybe, we find others like us.

I like to be fully disclosed, I will give you the definition of asexuality but the rest of it is all me. You cannot apply this article to learn about your friends. Maybe, if they are anything like me, you gain some insight, but the reality is, I write this in hopes that someone reading it will feel a little less alone in the world. Maybe this helps you understand that you are not abnormal, instead you are a human being first and foremost and deserve empathy like one. So, what I am saying is, do not take this article as the be all of asexuality. If you have an asexual friend in your life, you should ask them the questions you have with the intention of strengthening your relationship and becoming informed on a topic you previously were not informed about. And if you are asexual and my experiences don’t resonate with you, I encourage you to seek the rest of the community and know you are valid and you are not alone.

What is Asexuality?

Asexuality by itself at its most basic, universal definition, is defined as a lack of sexual attraction. And that’s it. The rest is a spectrum. There are many different types of asexual people, every single one has different experiences and feelings of attraction or may not even feel attraction at all. So we call this a spectrum and some parts of the spectrum have different titles. I think most people have no idea that attraction outside sexual attraction exists, meaning they didn’t know there are other names for attraction. Someone who identifies as asexual but is still attracted to people can feel aesthetic attraction, romantic attraction, physical attraction, emotional attraction, intellectual attraction, social attraction… and the list goes on.

There is something called the A-spectrum which isn’t just asexuality but aromantic, demi romantic, gray romantic, demi sexual, and gray sexual. Demi means that that attraction does not occur until an emotional bond is formed, gray means someone who has limited experiences with that attraction.

What Makes Me Asexual?

Asexuality means something different for every single person who identifies under it and because I can’t name really every type of asexual person out there, I am going to tell you a little bit about myself.

I am asexual because I feel no sexual attraction to anyone. I, in particular, do not want sex and am quite repulsed at the idea of it. I don’t enjoy the sex obsessed culture either and tend not to partake in it. I do however find people attractive for several reasons, it is usually an individual thing. I emotionally bond with people before I feel anything towards them for one. The attraction from there can be emotional or aesthetic. I know what type of personalities I draw in and enjoy interacting with too. I date and have been in about three relationships in my life but only one was long term.

Romantically, I don’t tend to identify. I say this because things change from person to person (as in depending on the individual I am attracted to). I will usually umbrella myself following the explanation of my asexual identity, stating that I am queer alongside being asexual or if I’m not comfortable talking about my asexuality, I leave it at queer. I say queer because I am attracted to different people for different reasons and sometimes gender isn’t necessarily a discriminating factor. I have mostly emotionally bonded with men in the past, but I find women physically and aesthetically attractive. Additionally, I am not exclusively attracted to men or women, I also can be attracted to transgender and non-binary people.

Is Asexuality in LGBT?

The Asexual community gets a lot of ping pong discussion about rather or not we are apart of the LBGTQIA+ Community. Some people believe that if you are just asexual and hetero-romantic and cis… then you should not be identifying as part of the LGBTQIA+ Community. I won’t get to deep into it, but the truth is, the A is for the asexual spectrum, not just the queer asexual folks. And we too have struggles, some much like the rest of the community and some very different. To leave out asexual people is aphobic in my personal opinion and a gatekeeping tactic. I one time read someone who was upset that the community had become like “the island of misfit toys.” I won’t tell you what to believe about this, but I’ll definitely talk about this in later posts so if you’re interested in reading more about it, keep an eye out!

The Fears of Asexuals…

We live in a sex obsessed culture. Sex is literally everywhere. It is in music, TV, movies, school, social life, work, art, commercials, food----- This culture is absolutely thriving (this is not a good thing) off of the exploitation of sexuality. Especially of women. If you can’t understand the problem with this, imagine hating the super bowl around Thanksgiving or Christmas at… well Christmas, when every store, elevator, billboard, TV series, and artist is throwing Christmas in your face. Except for asexual people, this is our life everyday we wake up and live in the world. Every. Day.

Because everyone around us is so obsessed with sex, asexual people can feel overwhelmingly alone. And for those seeking a significant other, that is a legitimate fear. Everyone else around us in relationships all require the one thing we will not give: Sex. You’ll never guess the number of times I get unmatched on dating apps after someone asks me what asexual means or after the first time I mention it outside my profile… because I guess if I don’t say anything than all the flags on my profile that include my sexual identity can be potentially false?

Asexual people, because many of us are very uncultured in sexual cues and such, are also at risk of being sexually abused and assaulted. Asexual people have gotten into situations where they are legitimately sexually attacked either because they have rejected someone or someone tries to change them by forcing themselves on them, or because they miss cues. Remember though if you have been sexually assaulted it is not your fault. There is no “what if I did this differently.” We are trained currently to be blameful of ourselves in sexual assault situations. But the fact is, if you did not consent to it- if there was no clear/in the right mind consent to it- it should not have happened and there is absolutely no excuse on the attacker’s part that should change that verdict.

Another part to being in a sex obsessed culture is just the sheer disbelief that people exist that do not want it. Rather it is for the intimacy or instincts, it will truly awestruck people of all kinds to the point they may tell us that we are not real. Not valid. Every asexual person has heard “you haven’t found the right person,” “How do you know if you’ve never had it,” “you can’t be asexual, you have a significant other,” “Love can’t really exist without sex,” “you’re just scared.” And we think about these things like ‘what if,’ and let other people’s invalidation of our identities invalidate ourselves.

Asexual Relationships?

It is a common misconception that asexual people do not date or do not have these kinds of intimate relationships. It is true that some people who identify as asexual also identify as aromatic or choose not to date or seek intimate relationships, but this does not describe the entire asexual community. Some asexual people will only date other asexual people, some do not. Asexual people in non-asexual relationships may come to a compromise in that relationship or vice versa. But it is incredibly important to remember that what matters most is that both parties are being satisfied. That may mean we discover that this partner is not the one. The needs need to be met on both sides.

As previously mentioned, there are a lot of people who think love must come with sex. You are more likely to come across someone with that mindset on the street than not. I personally try to meet people via online dating, and I would not say I have been 100% successful or unsuccessful. I have made several friends, I have had a boyfriend, I have done a lot of dating, I’ve also been unmatched as soon as they realize I am not wanting to sleep with them. That can be extremely… demeaning. And bad for self-esteem. I wrote something a little about how it feels to be consistently rejected for being asexual. I get rejected sometimes before people even know what asexual is. They know it is something from the LGBTQIA+ Community, it’s not straight, it’s not normal. And yes, maybe I shouldn’t want to be with someone like that but it feels like there are more people like that than not and there is no cure for the overwhelming fear that I will end up alone. It also creates an uncertain anxiety when I do not know why I may have been rejected. My brain defaults to “it’s because I’m asexual” and I go through the same devastation I would if I knew for sure it’s because I am asexual.

On the other side are the people who decide to date an asexual with the intention of being the one to “fix us.” Or they think it will change- because ultimately, they don’t believe in asexuality. Or they think it is personal, like instead of me being repulsed by sex I am repulsed by the person. For me, since I am not a very physically affectionate person (even when I am that comfortable with someone, it is very limited), that’s more common than I ever thought possible. That kind of says something about our society more than the individual, in my personal opinion. It says that our society as values our sexuality (especially as women) more than other parts of our personality.

Something I will include in here, friendships. A lot of my friends do not know how to talk about my sexuality. They don’t know what it is, it makes them uncomfortable, they think they have to give me the sex ed run down, or they think I have to be in PG settings all the time to be comfortable. No, I don’t necessarily want to hear in detail about your sex life but if there’s something you want to tell me, I’m not a fragile flower you have to protect. Friends also may constantly bring up my sexuality in an environment where it may not be comfortable. My friends have sometimes flaunted it like a golden ticket, like a token queer friend. I have to tell them to stop and if they don’t, I have to reconsider our friendship. Our sexual orientations are personal, no matter how out and forward we are, it belongs to us, to you. Coming out belongs to you and it is never insignificant enough to deserve to happen against your own free will.

Dear Ace Community Let’s Communicate!

The last thing I want to add here is just a suggestion for the asexual community. I see a lot of people who post about the exhaustion that comes with having to constantly re-explain ourselves to partners, friends, people of interest… Stop being exhausted. Do not tell them to google it. Someone is trying to understand you, googling is not understanding you. Take it as a compliment and be ready to explain and advocate for yourself and our community. Communication is so important. Google does not tell that person who you are, especially because we are on such a wide spectrum. I advise strongly against it. And probably, when you have to have that conversation, don’t have it over text. At least for me, I say so many more meaningful things when it’s face to face or over the phone at the very least versus over text message. I’m not just being a parrot of information from what I know the internet has told me, I’m telling that person about myself and what it means for me to be asexual. Communicate what it means for you to be asexual.

If you have an asexual friend, don’t be afraid of them. Know that you can’t change who they are, they don’t want you to try, you can’t “fix them.” If you don’t understand them, ask questions and don’t be critical.

Thank you so much for reading! If you have any question, reach out on my tumblr or contact page!

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nerdygaymormon · 4 years

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As an older person who has been in the church 20+ years and did everything that their AGAB demanded them do, suffering all the way into the later middle years and finally cracking their gender egg... I can't quite tell what will end up happening to all those temple ordinances I did to *seal those I love around me*. Or whether or not my partner, who will end up being a same-sex partner by the time I go through my process, will still be able to continue in their temple covenants...

These are good questions. I’ll share what I think the answers are, based on my understanding of the Handbook and Church practices. I imagine when your local leaders are asked these questions, they’ll consult with people above them (Seventy).

The Church considers your gender to be your “biological sex at birth,” by which they mean were you born with a penis or a vagina (this disregards the other biological factors of gender). No matter what happens after birth, your gender will remain unchanged on Church records. So technically all the sealings still conform with Church policies.

The fact the Church won’t change the gender shown on the membership record could also allow your spouse to be considered to be keeping their covenants and continue attending the temple.

I know that when parents divorce, the wife & children remain sealed to the husband, even if he leaves the Church. This is done so that the blessings of the sealing are still available to the woman and their children. I would guess that would be true for your situation, the people you’re sealed to will remain sealed.

—————————————————————

I think you’re brave.

There is a huge risk in coming out, and when you’re married it has significant implications for more than just yourself.

I know several people who come out & transitioned in their 30′s, 40′s & 50′s. In some cases it went well, their spouse & family stayed intact (in fact, in one case the spouse came out as lesbian, so her husband becoming her wife was good news to her). In other cases, the cost was high--divorce, extended family cutting contact--but these people still say it was worth it.

I suggests that you & your spouse each get therapy. This is going to be a long journey full of strong emotions. If you have children, they also could benefit from seeing a therapist. Richard Ostler provides some links to help in finding a therapist specifically for LGBTQ members.

I recommend finding other people who can understand what you’re going through. Same thing for your spouse. Here’s a few places you can begin:

Affirmation: Trans* Mormons, Families & Friends - click this link to request to join the Facebook group

Transgender Saints, ExMo’s and Allies - click this link to request to join the Facebook group

Transactive LDS - A private Facebook group for transgender individuals or family members. Click this link to request to join.

Wasatch Transgender Family Home Evening - If you live in Utah, you could go to their monthly FHE

Utah’s Pride Center has an Adult Trans Support Group

There’s power in hearing people’s stories as they share their experiences & feelings in their own words. Here’s just a few of the stories that you can find:

Jillisa, a 50+ transgender Mormon

Listen, Learn & Love has done several podcasts with transgender Mormons and/or their families

Emmett Claren documented his transition on YouTube

Laurie Lee Hall used to be a stake president and chief architect for the Church. She shares her story at the 2019 Affirmation conference

Augustus Crosby shares his story on the Out In Zion podcast

Kimberly Anderson shared her journey of becoming an advocate and therapist for the LGBTQIA community which includes her coming out as a trans woman as an adult on the Mormon Mental Health podcast

PFLAG is the United States' first and largest organization for LGBTQ people & their families & friends. You can find a local chapter near you.

Affirmation is an organization for LGBTQIA+ people whose lives have intersected with the LDS Church. Each year they have a conference in Utah and it includes workshops/groups for trans/non-binary/genderfluid individuals and also for the spouses of queer people. It would be an opportunity to connect with trans people who are/were LDS. Plus, I plan to be there, so we can meet!

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muppetsilas · 4 years

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Top Surgery FTW

So getting any surgery is scary and you’re bound to have a lot of questions. In the case of top surgery, there is really a lot to consider.

A few things to know: 1. You should check your insurance’s (or in the case of Medicaid and Medicare, your state’s) policies on coverage. Pennsylvania, for example, covers top surgery fully for Medicaid recipients. There is also a helpful and important organization for transgender healthcare called WPATH (World Professional Association for Transgender Health) You can visit their website here: http://www.wpath.org/

2. Major surgery for cosmetic reasons, especially something this drastic, should never be decided on a whim or without doing loads of research and consulting a psychologist or counselor. Even if your surgeon doesn’t require the year long visits, it is HIGHLY recommended you see a therapist for at least a few months to just talk through things. They are not going to judge you or convince you to get it or not get it. They are not going to be able to stop you from getting it either. Therapists are allies and even if it isn’t about you transitioning, talking about something this big is crucial to processing. It’s major surgery, after all! Anyone having any kind of surgery would benefit from speaking to a counselor about it.

3. Your body may not look the way you think it will after surgery. So do a lot of research and consider every possible option. Also, really think long and hard about why you want to do this and what it will mean for your life moving forward. You do not have to change your body to match society’s standards of gender roles. You certainly don’t have to medically alter your body because most trans men or non-binary persons you know have.

Ok, here are the questions I used...

-Are you board-certified? As a Plastic Surgeon or General Surgeon? (See Surgeon Credentials)

-Are you a member of WPATH?

-Do you have specific training in gender-affirming surgeries?

-How long have you been working with transgender/gender-nonconfirming patients?

-Do you work exclusively with transgender/gender-nonconfirming patients?

-How did you get involved with trans healthcare?

-Have you attended any transgender conferences?

-How many Top Surgeries have you performed?

-How many Top Surgeries do you do per week/month/year?

-Will you be doing the surgery yourself or will less experienced surgical residents take part?

-Will you provide a letter for getting my gender marker changed on ID/Legal documents?

-What kinds of gender-affirming practices has your office adopted? Will I be referred to by my preferred name and pronouns?

-What types of Top Surgery procedures do you offer? (remember there are many kinds of incisions and procedures)

-Is there a Top Surgery procedure that you prefer?

-What Top Surgery procedure do you think would best suit my needs and goals?

-What are my options for scar shape and placement?

-Where will the nipple/areola complex be positioned?

-How big will the areola be? How big will the nipple be?

-With Peri-Areolar/Keyhole, can you do a nipple reduction during the initial surgery?

-Will you perform Double Incision without nipple grafts? (No-Nipple Result)

-Do you use Drains? Why/why not?

-Will my surgery include male chest contouring/liposuction? Is there an extra "cosmetic fee" for this?

-What techniques do you use to reduce the chances of Dog-Ears?

-How long will the surgery take?

-What type of facility will my surgery be performed at? (Ex. Ambulatory/Day surgery clinic, local hospital, academic medical center)

-Do any of the nursing staff at the facility have specific training for working with transgender/gender-nonconforming patients?

-Can I see a portfolio of before/after photos for your patients? (If the answer is no, consider finding another surgeon)

-How much long-term follow-up do you do of patients, in terms of determining patient-satisfaction?

-How much nipple sensation should I expect?

-What is the chance of developing a hematoma?

-What is the chance of developing a seroma?

-With Double Incision, what is the risk of losing a nipple graft or getting an infection?

-What other complications am I at risk for?

-What symptoms should I be on the lookout for?

-Who do I contact if I think I have a complication?

-If a complication happens, what is the protocol for managing it?

-There is a family history of breast cancer. What do I need to know about this with regards to Top Surgery? Do I need to get a mastectomy beforehand? Will my insurance cover that?

-Do any of my medical conditions increase complication risks?

-Can I take THC or CBD in the weeks/days before surgery?

-When do I need to quit smoking before surgery? (usually 6 weeks)

-Do I need to stop taking Testosterone before surgery?

-Do I need to stop taking any other of my medications before surgery?

-Will I need to have any blood work done or do any other lab tests prior to surgery day?

-Will you be providing detailed, written pre-op and post-op instructions?

-Is there a pre-op appointment prior to surgery day?

-What type of anaesthesia will be used?

-Will I meet with the anesthesiologist before surgery?

-Will anyone be providing updates to my caregiver during my surgery?

-Will I be able to go home the same day as my surgery?

-If being released the same day: How long will I need to stay at the surgery center after I wake up?

-If coming from out of town: How long will I need to stay in town after surgery?

-If coming from out of town: Do you have arrangements with any hotels for reduced-cost stays for patients?

-When will my post-op appointments be?

-What medications will I be prescribed after surgery?

-I can't take opioids. What are other options for pain management?

-Can I take THC or CBD during recovery?

-Will I need to wear a binder after surgery? If so, for how long?

-When will I be back to normal daily activities?

-How soon after surgery can I be on a plane?

-When can I go back to work with a (desk job/physical job)?

-When can I go swimming/use a hot tub?

-What do you recommend for scar treatment?

-What percentage of your patients have required a revision?

-Do you provide free or reduced-cost revisions if they're necessary?

-Are revisions done typically with local anaesthesia or general anaesthesia?

-What letters do you require?

-Do you have a BMI requirement?

-What is the total cost? Does it differ by procedure?

-Does this include the surgeon's fee, facility fee and anesthesiologist fee?

-Does the cost include a post-op binder or any medical supplies?

-Does the cost include post-op appointments?

-Is there a down payment required to secure a surgery date?

-Does the cost need to be paid in full before my surgery date?

-Do you offer a payment plan?

-Do you accept medical financing via CareCredit, etc.?

-How much should I budget for post-operative medications?

-What types of insurance do you accept? (Medicare, Medicaid, private insurance)

-How much success does your office have getting pre-authorization for Top Surgery insurance coverage?

-If you don't take insurance, is your office able to assist with filing for an insurance reimbursement?

Those are just the ones I needed, but take a long list of questions to your visit. If your surgeon makes you feel like they don’t have time to answer them (my first one did), don’t use them. I know this is all intimidating, and so many people feel like they have to please the surgeon, especially if there are limited surgeons in your area (like in the South), but PLEASE think of this in the reality that YOU are interviewing THEM and they need to earn your business. Even if insurance is paying, they are still getting the money for it and you deserve their time and attention. This is a long and scary process that can get very intense, you need to feel comfortable and open with them and really trust that they will be there for you after the big day.

Website of Surgeons Currently Accepting Medicare (may not be completely updated, so do your own research also): https://www.topsurgery.net/surgeons/medicare.htm

#tops #top surgery #trans #transgender #breast reduction #mastectomy #breast removal #surgeons

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hellomynameisbisexual · 3 years

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In other words, bisexual men are like climate change: real but constantly denied.

But the idea that only women can be bisexual is a persistent myth, one that has been decades in the making. And prejudice with such deep historical roots won’t disappear overnight.

👬👫👬👫

For decades, bisexual men have been portrayed—even within the LGBT community—as secretly gay, sexually confused vectors of disease.

In 2016, bisexual men are still feeling the effects of the virus and the misperceptions around it.

👬👫👬👫

But it is still bisexual men who seem to have their very existence questioned more often.

“It got repeated and repeated in all sorts of media,” Suresha recalled. “People reported it in news briefs on the radio, in print, in magazines, all over the place.”

“Show me the quest for scientific proof that heterosexuality exists. It begins and ends with even just one person saying, ‘I’m straight.’” — Amy Andre, Huffington Post

👬👫👬👫

Our society doesn’t seem to do well with more than two—especially when so many still believe that there’s only one right way to be a man.

The answer is obvious: He can equate male bisexuality with homosexuality.

“For a male to have had any kind of same-sex sexual experience, they are automatically designated as gay, based on that one-drop rule,” Herukhuti said. “And that taints them.”

“A really easy way to fix this,” Dodge added, “would be to just create a separate surveillance category.”

But when it comes to categories, our society doesn’t seem to do well with more than two—especially when so many still believe that there’s only one right way to be a man.

👬👫👬👫

“Put the champagne on the ice,” Dodge joked. “We’re no longer at the very bottom of the barrel but we’ve still got a ways to go.”

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official-transsexual · 5 years

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FAQ

(last updated September 11, 2019)

Q: What is dysphoria? A: Dysphoria is a diagnostic term meaning “profound distress or discomfort.” It is a common symptom of many psychiatric disorders. It's been used this way for over a century (example 1, example 2, example 3). “Gender dysphoria” refers to dysphoria that occurs as a result of incongruence between a person’s assigned sex and gender identity. To meet the diagnostic criteria for the psychiatric disorder “Gender Dysphoria” the DSM-V specifically states that the incongruence must cause “significant distress or problems functioning.” Sex/gender incongruence that doesn’t cause this distress or dysfunction is NOT considered disordered.

Q: I was told that the APA defined gender dysphoria as “conflict between a person’s physical or assigned gender and the gender with which he/she/they identify.” A: This particular line is a quote from a page on the APA website that was meant to briefly summarize the diagnostic criteria for Gender Dysphoria. It is not the full diagnostic criteria, which is described further down the page. Along with the checklist of traits, the diagnostic criteria for both children and adults include “distress or inpairment functioning” as specific necessary condition: “In adolescents and adults gender dysphoria diagnosis involves a difference between one’s experienced/expressed gender and assigned gender, and significant distress or problems functioning [...] In children, gender dysphoria diagnosis involves at least six of the following and an associated significant distress or impairment in function, lasting at least six months.” Again: that “distress or problems functioning” criteria is mandatory; this is why the line meant to summarize gender dysphoria uses the word “conflict” instead of a more neutral term like “incongruence” or even “difference.” The APA’s endorsed expert opinion on the subject states more explicitly that “not all transgender people suffer from gender dysphoria.” According to members of the APA workgroup responsible for writing the Gender Dysphoria diagnostic criteria, the term “dysphoria” was chosen based on the logic that “if the new diagnosis would focus more on the dysphoria aspect (e.g., in the name) than does the current one, no separate distress criterion would be necessary, because the distress would be defined as inherent to the diagnosis” (sci-hub pdf). Note that they ended up keeping the distress criterion in the diagnosis despite the redundancy, presumably because they were afraid that it might not be clear enough that they were referring to distress while using a medical term that literally means “significant distress.” The exact DSM-5 criteria (which I transcribe here) further makes it clear that gender dysphoria requires distress, rather than simply gender incongruence.

Q: Why does it matter how we define dysphoria? A: It’s a matter of relevance. When discussing gender dysphoria in the context of the medical model, the relevant definition is the one that gets used within the medical system.

Q: But what if we worked to change the medical definition of gender dysphoria? A: I’ve see this idea brought up in my notes a few times, and it’s honestly just a terrible idea. The overpathologization of distress responses is a huge concern within psychology, and it’s one of the reasons the medical definition of gender dysphoria is so limited. Extending that definition to include things like “feeling bad when you’re mistreated” is, at best, a step backward.

Q: What makes a person transgender, if not dysphoria? A: An incongruence (mismatch) between their gender identity and their assigned sex category.

Q: How can someone know they're trans without dysphoria? A: Many non-dysphoric trans people cite "gender euphoria" as their main clue. Others simply describe feeling a strong desire to be a certain gender that differed from their assigned gender.

Q: Isn't that just dysphoria? A: No. As I've already pointed out, dysphoria is a diagnostic term referring specifically to profound distress. While it's certainly common for these other signs of gender incongruence to be accompanied by distress or discomfort, these are not themselves always inherently distressing experiences. The very epicurian idea that gender euphoria is simply a result of gender dysphoria is a false dichotomy based on a zero-sum understanding of pain and pleasure.

Q: Does this mean being transgender is a choice for non-dysphoric trans people? A: No. While all of us, dysphoric or otherwise, have a choice in what labels we use & which identities we claim, the process through which gender identity is formed is incredibly complex and not incredibly well understood. Non-dysphoric trans people may have less incentive to come out or transition than those of us who do experience dysphoria, but this isn't the same thing as choosing to have a transgender identity.

Q: Why would someone who’s 100% comfortable with their body transition? A: First off, most people aren’t 100% comfortable with their bodies, and there’s a wide range of experiences that exist between” complete and total comfort” and “significant distress.” Non-dysphoric trans people seek out medical transition for various reasons, including legal barriers to social transition (eg medical requirements to update ID), feelings of euphoria associated with specific traits, or simply a desire to present in a way that is more congruent with their identities.

Q: But why would non-dysphoric trans people seek out treatment for a condition they don’t have? Isn’t that like a doctor prescribing chemo drugs to someone without cancer? A: Many people- cis and trans alike- take HRT for reasons other than treatment of a disorder, including preventive care against future poor health or the potential for quality of life improvements. As of 2016, an estimated 1.67% of adult men under the age of 65 were making insurance claims to cover testosterone supplements, most of whom are cis men; the authors note that men over the age cutoff of the paper were expected to use testosterone supplements at higher rates due to age-related hypogonadism (in this case, the natural, non-disordered decrease in testosterone production cis men experience as they age). Additionally, doctors actually do prescribe chemo drugs to people without cancer fairly regularly, it’s called “off-label use.” A common example of this is Methotrexate, a chemotherapy drug which is regularly prescribed to treat noncancerous conditions like rheumatoid arthritis and ectopic pregnancy. Hormonal transition is itself considered an off-label use of HRT, regardless of whether the person transitioning is dysphoric

Q: What sources say that you don’t need dysphoria to be transgender? (Note: this list is not intended to be exhaustive) A: The American Psychiatric Association explicitly says that dysphoria is not necessary “ Not all transgender people suffer from gender dysphoria and that distinction is important to keep in mind. Gender dysphoria and/or coming out as transgender can occur at any age.” The World Health Organization's ICD-10 acknowledges the existence of non-dysphoric trans people with its description of "transsexualism" as "usually accompanied by a sense of discomfort... or inappropriateness." The American Psychological Association: “A psychological state is considered a mental disorder only if it causes significant distress or disability. Many transgender people do not experience their gender as distressing or disabling, which implies that identifying as transgender does not constitute a mental disorder.” The American Academy of Pediatrics describes gender dysphoria as a potential consequence of being trans: “ Some youths experience gender dysphoria when the incongruence between assigned sex at birth and asserted gender identity becomes so distressing that it impairs the youth in school, relationships and overall functioning... However, there is no evidence that risk for mental illness is inherently due to a gender-diverse identity.” The Canadian Paediatric Society provides this definition of Gender Dysphoria: “Describes the level of discomfort or suffering associated with the conflict that can exist between a person's assigned sex at birth and their true gender. Some transgender children experience no distress about their bodies, but others may be very uncomfortable with their assigned sex, especially at the start of puberty when their body starts to change.” The World Medical Association cites the APA definition of dysphoria: “The WMA asserts that gender incongruence is not in itself a mental disorder; however it can lead to discomfort or distress, which is referred to as gender dysphoria (DSM-5).” WPATH states that "the criteria currently listed for [Gender Dysphoria] are descriptive of many people who experience dissonance between their sex as assigned at birth and their gender identity... The DSM-5 descriptive criteria for gender dysphoria were developed to aid in diagnosis and treatment to alleviate the clinically significant distress and impairment that is frequently, though not universally, associated with transsexual and transgender conditions” (emphasis added).

Q: I was told the American Psychiatric Association isn't trustworthy, so why do you use it as a source? A: I've written a big post here analyzing criticism of the APA (and particularly, their handling of trans identities); the short version is that the APA has been very heavily criticised in the past for supporting many of the same positions truscum advocate in favour of today. While the APA & DSM aren't perfect, they aren't exactly the mess truscum claim they are either.

Q: What about brain scan research? Doesn't that prove dysphoria is required? A: No. Brain sex research in interesting, but the results are nowhere near as clear-cut as many people believe. Yes, there's been studies that have observed similarities between the brains of dysphoric binary trans people and cisgender people who share their identities. This is correlational research that can't be used to infer causation without further evidence, and researchers still aren't sure what exactly it means. There's also the problem of attempting to apply a body of research to non-dysphoric trans people that includes few, if any, results from non-dysphoric trans participants.

Q: How can someone transition without a dysphoria diagnosis? A: Depending on where you are, there may be clinics in your area that operate on an informed consent model of transition. Unlike the traditional gatekeeper model of transition, informed consent models allow anyone who is competent to make their own medical decisions to receive transition care. Note that this does not mean that they block (or should block) mentally ill people from transitioning, even those with delusional disorders; instead, this is about ensuring that a transitioning person is capable of understanding the changes to their body that transition care would lead to, and minimizing the risk of a crisis during a dangerous situation.

Q: What about John Money/David Reimer? Is this evidence that gender is not actually a construct? A: John Money was a conversion therapy advocate who believed that he could force a child to identify with the gender of his choosing, and that there was no point in someone identifying as male without a functioning penis. Nothing about this disproves the idea that our genders are constructed, though it does demonstrate that the process of gender construction is beyond human control, at least on an individual level. Some of the terms Money coined may still be in use, but his claims about being able to force children to identify as a specific gender are pretty thoroughly rejected outside of the conversion therapy crowd. Additionally, bringing up the fact that certain terms were coined by Money without recognizing that those terms are currently used in a context that otherwise rejects his views is often used as an attempt to poison the well.

Q: What does "radscum" mean? A: it's an old term for the category of rad/fem than includes what we now call "TE/RFs" and "SW/ERFs." It was still commonly used when the term "truscum" was coined to refer to post-HBS transmedicalism. In the communities I was active in, the term "truscum" caught on specifically because of how it reflected the relationship between the two groups (transmeds and radscum have a long history of co-operation, regardless of how any individual truscum today feels about that).

Q: Is it true that the person who coined the word “tucute” was a cis woman pretending to be trans? A: No, it’s not.

Q: Why did you remove my response with sources from the replies of your post? A: I didn’t.

Q: Will you promo my discourse blog? A: Sorry, no.

Q: Will you promo my fundraiser? A: Please add a link to this post as a reblog or comment instead of messaging me. About the mod:

Q: what are your pronouns? A: Ey/em (like “they” without the “th-”)

Q: Why do you call yourself "transsexual"? A: I've been using the term transsexual for myself for roughly a decade, and I refuse to give it up because some kids decided they own that word now.

Q: Do you ID as queer? A: That's one of the labels I use, yes.

Q: What other identity labels do you use? A: I'm being intentionally vague about certain aspects of my ID on this blog because it's interesting to watch what assumptions truscum make, but in general I'm neither straight nor cis & I use a variety of labels depending on the context I'm speaking in and the information I'm trying to communicate to my audience.

Q: How old are you? A: Over 30 (which is part of the reason why I stick to responding to people who interact with me first instead of seeking out bad posts to argue against)

#faq #ReadTheFAQ #op

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nonbinaryresource · 5 years

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I've been coming to terms with being enby for two years now, and "genderfluid" best fits me. But lately I've been scared of feelings so male. My ideal body and name is closer to a cis-guy than anything androgynous, but that scares me because I've always wanted to be a mother and like the idea of womanhood. I know I'm not a woman, but I don't want to loose the woman part of me. I'm scared of one day realising I'm a transman and not just enby. I don't know how to not be scared of this. :/

I know this seems contradictory, but... let yourself be afraid. Let yourself cry and grieve and freak out. Pushing these feelings down and trying to deny them and trying to just get over them without processing them and understanding how to move past them is just going to make these feelings get worse and boil over and explode.

It’s okay to be afraid. Even if you love being genderfluid, even if you’re extremely proud, this does change your understanding of yourself and what you want. That’s a scary thing! Your future seems to be changing from the picture you’ve always had. Your identity is different from how you’ve understood it for so long. Even exploring these feelings for two years doesn’t erase your past or past you or mean you have to have been over these feelings.

So, let yourself be afraid. Because it is a scary thing you’re going through! Let yourself grieve. Just because you may eventually be happier and more comfortable and more settled in your genderfluid identity one day doesn’t mean you aren’t still experiencing a loss. A part of my coming to terms with being nonbinary and genderqueer also involved grieving for the woman and girl I’d been, and I didn’t even want to be a mother as another layer on top of that. What you’re feeling is perfectly natural. You don’t have to punish yourself for this or ignore and deny these feelings. You’ll never grieve if you don’t let yourself, and a part of that is letting yourself feel what you’re feeling. Yep, even the bad feelings.

When you feel ready to tackle it, you can sit down and think about a plan. A plan will help you realize all your options and perhaps give you a healthier way to forge a path forward - by accepting your feelings and working with them rather than trying to bulldoze past them. .When do you want to plan on actively trying to become a mother/parent? Do you want to get pregnant or would you be happy to foster and/or adopt? If you want to have a child via pregnancy, could you possibly stand waiting to go through with most medical transition until after you’ve given birth? (If so, maybe also schedule a checkup with a doctor to discuss your fertility and make sure that waiting makes sense.) What about having some of your eggs frozen until you’re ready to try for a child, going through medical transition in the meantime, and then having a surrogate carry your eggs?.You also have the option of partially transitioning to start with and going through with more transitive steps down the road. For example, while T greatly reduces the risk of pregnancy, it doesn’t completely eliminate it. You could talk to a doctor about starting with low dose T (being sure to bring up thoughts of trying to get pregnant in future years) to start with until you’re ready to pursue further transition.

Once you’re feeling ready, I would also suggest sitting down and listing some pros that have come out of realizing you’re genderfluid and thinking of positive things that can come as a result later down the road. Some things that might be on this list could be things like:

More comfortable with my gender and how I perceive myself

Able to recognize more of what I want and how I want to look and therefore be able to pursue such steps

Be confident in my body after physical transition

Can still become a loving and supportive parent

Can still experience the joys of parenthood

Can still be there to love and protect a smol being who needs my help and support

Understand myself better and have a healthier relationship to who I am

Lessened depression/anxiety the more I accept my gender feels

Found a new community of people to support me

There can absolutely be a period of grieving while realizing and coming to terms with being trans/nonbinary/genderqueer, but there is also growth and positivity and comfort and happiness and new experiences. Give yourself a bit of time, love, and patience, and you will start to feel that more and more.

Plenty of trans people get pregnant and/or become parents. Perhaps you won’t realize your specific dream of being a mother, but you can still pursue parenthood. Here’s some good links to hear about other trans people’s experiences with this, particularly through pregnancy:

https://nonbinaryresource.tumblr.com/post/186416339642/great-question-please-do-not-read-any-comments

https://vimeo.com/44406099#

(contains cissexist language) https://www.washingtonpost.com/dc-md-va/2019/08/16/non-binary-pregnant-navigating-most-gendered-role-all-motherhood/

https://helloclue.com/articles/cycle-a-z/thinking-about-pregnancy-as-a-nonbinary-trans-person

https://www.parents.com/pregnancy/everything-pregnancy/transgender-man-gives-birth-to-healthy-baby-talks-navigating/

https://www.theguardian.com/society/2019/apr/20/the-dad-who-gave-birth-pregnant-trans-freddy-mcconnell

Another thing I would like to suggest to you is to look into local trans/queer meetups in your area. PFLAG would probably be a good place to start if your area has one. These can be safe spaces to talk about these feelings and find others to connect with who may even have same/similar feelings as you. It won’t solve your problems, but it will provide you an invaluable resource and, most importantly, allow you to make connections with other people and remember that you’re not alone in this.

Finally, one last thing I would like to suggest to you, is that if you still feel a connection to womanhood and don’t want to lose this... then don’t bar yourself from identifying as a woman! Maybe you identify as a genderfluid woman. Maybe your include woman and womanhood in your genderfluid experience. You can still be partially and/or sometimes a woman and pursue whatever transitioning steps to your ideal body.

I identified as a nonbinary woman for a solid chunk of time because I still felt connected to womanhood and couldn’t just “abandon” that feel. For me, that was a period of time necessary for me to help myself come to grips with my changing gender feels. Identifying as nonbinary and a woman helped me feel more grounded and better accept how I felt in regards to my gender without drowning in despair about losing a core thing I’d always known about myself.

I don’t identify as a woman these days, and for me personally, doing so back then was clearly a step that allowed me to accept I was (now) nonbinary - and genderqueer. But! There are also plenty of nonbinary people who do genuinely identify with man/woman, and it’s not just a step for them - it’s a core part of their identity as much as being nonbinary is. I don’t know which one you’ll be, but whichever is valid, and you’re allowed to identify in whatever way makes you most comfortable and happy.

Basically, your feelings are your feelings, and how things turn out are going to be how things turn out. You’re not doing anything wrong. It’s okay to be scared. It’s okay to be scared and happy at the same time. It can and will get better for you, as long as you allow yourself to both grieve and move forward without just bulldozing over your feelings. It’s just going to take some more time for you.

~Tera

#mod tera #fear #questioning #self acceptance #identity #long post #parenthood #pregnancy #transition #transitioning #resource #Anonymous

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