#im afraid the thoughts

[seaofgoldensand]

we need to have an in-depth discussion about rafayel definitely having a scent kink. “try and smell something i’m familiar with? which means i should sniff you, yeah?” IS THIS SOMETHING THAT HAPPENS OFTEN? SIR????

the way his voice gets deeper and his breathing gets heavier? and the fabric rustling in the background? is he supposed to be grinding into you while doing ALL THAT?? and his “yeah”s?? this man is definitely a talker oh my goddd. i’m definitely not thinking about the way he’ll talk you through it right now. good thing he didn’t call us a good girl in this one because i fear i would’ve spontaneously combusted.

this isn’t funny anymore i need him inside me. or maybe i need to be taken out back and shot, i’m not picky

he is a fucking talker, he will guide you through everything and just. he definitely has a scent kink but the WHOLE FACT BOTH HIM AND MC ARE BLINDFOLDED TOO??? excuse me, sensory deprivation a whole ass thing.

NO BUT NONNIE FOR FUCKING REAL the way his voice drops when the aphrodisiac hits??? the heavy breathing??? the way he just "so... much... more" and LIKE IM NOT ABOUT TO LISTEN TO THIS AUDIO AGAIN WHEN I GET HOME just to make a whole long horny ass post again like the time i was just looking for a damn part in his god of tides myth and got ATTACKED BY HIS SMIRK when i paused.

*screaming into the fucking void* yeah?

i'm STILL MELTING at "if you're scared you can cling onto me but i'm not gonna stop" *INHALES* boi.

if he had called us good girl or anything equivalent to ANY FUCKING PRAISE i wouldve fucking COMBUSTED, IMPLODED. YOU NAME IT. that voice? praising you?

i need this man carnally and if i were to speak of the thoughts in my head right now— i shall nOT

#im afraid the thoughts #what if i indulge #what if i- no #im completely sane for that fish boi #COMPLETELY. UTTERLY SANE. #rafayel #rafayel love and deepspace #love and deepspace #lnd #lnds #l&ds #lads #also like #FR HOW TF IS THIS GAME RATED 12 AND UP????

[stil-lindigo]

lead balloon (the tumblr post that saved me)

if this comic resonated with you, it would mean the world to me if you donated to this palestinian family's escape fund.

--

no creative notes because this isn't that kind of comic.

I know I don’t owe any of you anything but I still felt compelled to write about my long term absence. And I feel far enough away from the dangerous spot I was in to be able to make this comic. I have a therapist now, and she agreed that making this could be a very cathartic gesture, and the start of properly leaving these thoughts behind me. I am still, at seemingly random times, blindsided by fleeting desires to kill myself. They’re always passing urges, but it’s disarming, and uncomfortable. I worry sometimes that my brain’s spent so long thinking only about suicide that it’s forgotten how to think about anything else. Like, now that I've opened that door for myself, I'll never be able to fully shut it again. But I’m trying my best to encourage my mind in other directions. We'll see how that goes.

I am still donating all proceeds from my store to Palestinian causes. So far, I've donated over $15K, not including donations coming from my own pocket or the fundraising streams which jointly raised around $10K. In the time since I made my initial post about where this money would be going, the focus has shifted from aid organisations to directly donating to escape funds.

If you'd like to do the same, you can look at Operation Olive Branch, which hosts hundreds of Palestinian escape funds or donate to Safebow, which has helped facilitate the safe crossing and securing of important medical procedures for over 150 at-risk palestinians since the beginning of the genocide.

#cw: suicidal ideation #cw: suicide #cw: self harm #cw: mental health #cw: depression #i made the balloon the main representation of my self destructive urges for a reason but im not going to explain it #i tried to keep a lot of the details in this vague #it would be my worst nightmare if this comic encouraged someone to hurt themselves #so. please dont #for a long time even the thought of making this comic felt so insipid and narcissistic #with the state of the world as it is #having the only threat to your life be yourself felt so privileged and trite and shameful #but doing this comic made me sit down and process things in full #and im just. very grateful i didn't give in to my thoughts back when i sincerely felt i'd be more useful to the world dead #i also feel the need to say that this wont represent everyone's battle with mental illness. its unfortunately different for all of us #there is no fix-all #and im afraid this might be one of those comics that either resonates a lot or misses the target by a mile #i made it for myself foremost. and now that its done im glad i did it #thank you for reading #and please stay alive #stillindigo art #stillindigo comics

[samipekoe]

greatest minds of our generation

#for my next trick ill draw falin in shiny chariots outfit #maybe. i just thought about that it sounds good tho #im afraid of using the copics my friend got me. what if im good at coloring then im gonna want to buy them again

[magizombi]

Is this anything

#jjk #jujutsu kaisen #choso #aoi todo #yuji itadori #afraid to post this because im worried someones gonna tell me i misunderstood some canon event #but this is how it played out to me and i thought it was funny #jjk meme #jjk memes #jjk spoilers #zombi.txt #be nice to me im anime only for now lmfao

[dyke-in-crisis]

the yuri protocol ‼️

commissions patreon

BONUS TIME

#I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS ABOUT THEM… #also u better appreciate my gwen design #its also self indulgent what a surprise #it started as a joke and im afraid its getting serious as always #dyhard #gwen bouchard #alice dyer #gwendolyn bouchard #alice x gwen #the magnus archives #the magnus protocol #tmapg #tma #the magnus protocol spoilers #the magnus protocol fanart #my art #lesbian #wlw #dyhard fanart #if theres and gwen/alice truthers out there hmu lets yell about them together please

[ruporas]

deserving to be held

#vashwood #vash the stampede #nicholas d wolfwood #i feel like i made many pieces with this similar message but its just bc the thought of vashwood coming from loved backgrounds and having #been taught how to love.. been taught how to care and knows what that feels like and then having it ripped violently from them for years #to the point they're both afraid to touch each other and feel undeserving of the love they receive even though they both know they love the #other and yearn for it deeply #it's a long healing process and i dont think they had enough time to fully process it together but at least #they can steadily learn the warmth of another again before the end #correct me if im wrong but the only time canonically that vashwood hugged was in vol 10 and it actually sends me into ruins #u know. the half hug when vash caught ww and gripped his side like that. #like hoooow whyyyy waughhauhguhgss #ruporas art

[hatchetguts]

it's always "I want a crazy boyfriend!" and "I could fix him!" until i try to kill myself because you were busy all day and I thought you were going to leave me forever

#not my most sane post im afraid ....... #irl yandere #irl yan #actually yandere #obsessive yandere #yandere thoughts #yandere blog #yandere #yancore #yan blog #yanblr #actually obsessive #obslove #obsessive love #obsessive thinking #obsessivecore #obsession #obsessive thoughts #actually bpd #bpd blog #bpd vent #bpd thoughts #bpd #fp bpd #bpd fp

[uhyeahnoabsolutelynot]

the gradual shift in joel from being the guy who’s so desensitized that he can carry a dead kid the same way he carried sarah to the site of her death and toss the corpse into a fire without blinking to being the guy who has a massive breakdown and almost nukes his whole life from the fear of ellie being irreparably harmed while under his care......and the way the last few episodes the show go out of their way to specifically test him on that fear.....like hey joel you’re mortally wounded and can’t protect or take care of her, what do you do. hey joel while you were bedridden she went through the worst experience of her life, what do you do. hey joel [insert spoilers for last ep here, you get the idea]. and he rises to the occasion, he pushes through the fear for her, because she asked him to. she wanted him to be the one to deliver her. she didn’t want anyone else. and he’s decided he’s going to give her whatever she wants

it takes time for the realization that he’s gonna have to confront his worst nightmare to really sink in. he’s built up a mental fortress against what happened to him 20 years ago. and you see that when he really starts to care is when all of that comes back up. the time skip between ep 5 and 6 was probably the Joel Quietly Freaks Out with Increasing Frequency and Intensity variety hour

and him telling her she’s not his daughter. aside from being that thing where you say the worst thing you can think of to someone when you’re trying to end your relationship with them so you can’t go back and change your mind later. but also, when you peel back all the layers of pain and fear, that’s him saying “you are not going to die.” up until that moment it’s the most honest and open expression of his feelings that he’s shared with her. his daughter died in his arms. that’s what happens to “joel’s daughter.” so ellie cannot be his daughter

that probably should’ve been 3 separate posts but it’s season finale day and i’m unmedicated, fuck it

#he's so full of fear #but parenting is fear #tlou just dials the horrors of parenting up to eleven lol #and then the way it manifests for him is the inverse in a way #instead of 'im so afraid to let my kid out of my sight' #it's 'im so afraid to be with my kid because if something bad happens to them that means im responsible' #my man has baggage what can i say #i just thought that was an interesting flipflop #anyway im excited for final ep #i will probably not be engaging with s2 not bc i think tlou2 was bad necessarily but just bc i emotionally am not in a place to handle that #lol i prefer to live in denial sometimes thats my human gay right #tlou #the last of us #my stuff

[ganondoodle]

utterly random late night panic thoughts but

if you read my zelda comic and like it i love and appreciate you but i really do need to be upfront about it being very much a self indulgent enemies to lovers story with a villain at the center that has done bad but isnt bad at his core and is struggeling to come to terms with the fact that he doesnt actually want to be the evil beast he and almost everyone else believes he should be

yes im one of those people ... fake villain fans or something ... i think .. i dont know the rules to that ... q-q

#ganondoodles talks #i thinks its in part the time thats making me suddendly panic about that #like i often see posts from people that are like fake villain enjoyers make the guy into a good guy #and real villain enjoyers are those that like him bc he kills people #or making fun of or generally seeming very agressive towards people that redeem villains #and i have no idea if id be counted among them bc im kinda doing it #yes he killed people but no he doesnt like it and doesnt want to #im one of those cringy softies that are like .. but what if villain ... good #of course im trying to make it make sense and with alot of extra written lore #like i made an entire world up just for demises backstory #but im undenialbly afraid that some people will tear my comic apart once they realize i made him not all that evil #again i have pretty much read no fanfiction and am unfamiliar with alot of common fanfic tropes and stuff so #i got no idea what is commonly understood as the wrong kind of villain fan or soemthing #I DONT KNOW THE CRINGE RULES I JUST HAVE LOTS OF BLORBO THOUGHTS #i need to go to bed

[bookshelfdreams]

oh and one more thing i am SO GLAD we got to see the first meeting between edwin and charles, it is so sweet and understated and so so SO absolutely insane like

imagine you are curled up in a dark corner somewhere and you have been hurt plenty before so you know this time it's really, really bad. and you can't get help, don't have the energy left for it, and there never was any getting help for you anyway, was there? finding a quiet spot to hide until you can pick yourself up again has always been the only option, but you just - you don't even feel the pain, and isn't that the biggest sign that you're truly fucked? you just feel cold, and scared and you wish. you probably just wish you weren't alone.

and then you suddenly aren't, anymore. suddenly there is light, and a kind face, and a voice keeping you company, answering your silly questions, distracting you from the fear and the memories, soothing you, being there in a way no one has ever been, not in all your life

and then you realize oh it's because you were dying. dying, and haven't even noticed, he "did not want to scare you", and you do not have the words for how that makes you feel, that kindness, how it makes something crack open, how it wraps itself around the core of you like warmth you can no longer feel, and tells you you're alright, you'll be fine

so that's not so bad, then. you have someone with you now.

except you don't, you don't, because turns out you're supposed to go on by yourself, which means you will be left alone again, and no. you will not.

he tells you he's "not good with people" and you know that's a lie, and also, you don't care at all. you don't care what is waiting for you in the afterlife, as long as you get to draw out this moment. so you turn your back to the light, and walk away towards him, and you never regret that, not one bit

imagine crawling out of hell and the first person you meet immediately refuses to go to heaven so he can spend more time with you

#after knowing you for like. 15 minutes tops. #i could rewatch this scene a thousand times and never tire of it #sorry yall #im afraid im developing a new case of brainrot #will it get worse? yes probably #i did not want to fall for the stupid ghost boy show either! #sigh. it is what it is. #dead boy detectives #thoughts #i wrote a thing #otp: no version of this where i didnt come get you

[tinukis]

oyasumi 💤

#one piece #uta #shanks #luffy #uta one piece #red haired shanks #akagami no shanks #monkey d luffy #op fanart #i think about them a normal amount #i also think about how shanks smiles Every time luffy has a new bounty poster #he's so proud of him im gonna explode #AND HOW HE THOUGHT ABT BABY LUFFY UTA AND MOMO #WHEN HE SAID ARE YOU THAT AFRAID OF THE NEW ERA #HE LOVES THEM SO MUCH #AND JUST #LOOKING AT LUFFY BECOMING A GREAT PIRATE #AN EMPEROR AT THAT AND JUST #IMMEDIATELY THINKING ABOUT THW LITTLE BOY HE MET BACK AT FOOSHA VILLAGW #SMILING UP AT HIM #IM NOT OKAY IGHHWJCHWKNFWDW #don't ever talk to me about luffy and shanks #i'm not normal abt them #ok i know i drew uta here too but im just biased sorry uta i love u #fanart #my art #digital art #artists on tumblr #art #tin art

[pineappical]

father and son

#ted lasso #ted lasso fanart #henry lasso #remember when jason sudeikis said that ted lasso was a show about bad fathers and we all thought it was about ted's own father and how his #passing caused ted to become the kind person he currently is. and we thought that was the 'bad father' part of him. and then s3 rolls #around and it just hits you how his passing did cause that and More. how ted became so afraid to let down others. to let down henry by not #Winning The Whole Thing. but yeah in the end you just have to try #and sometimes i wonder if ted ever knew that he was a good father (etc etc that conversation with dr sharon in 2x10) #despite the distance and his divorce.. cherish the moment he had with his son instead of the time they spent away from each other #pn.art #SORRY THIS HAS BEEN ON MY MIND FOR THE PAST 3 HOURS ITS 5AM RN I KNOW I HAVE A SHITASS SCHEDULE </3 #ted lasso spoilers #i have sooo much stuff i wanna say about this and i know ill forget to say it later but god. god i just want him to know hes enough soo bad #<- normal about fictional characters #babygirl you are so full of problems they rarely addressed. godbless #IM NOT MAKING SENSE I JUST LOVEEEEE HIMMMM :((((

[mortysmith]

In theory i like the idea that rick is growing and developing as a person. In practice it ends up falling short though, because no one balances him out. rick is getting better while no one else is getting worse, and it causes the whole thing to end up feeling a bit stale. The biggest draw, at least for me, has always been rick and morty's shitty dynamic, but it barely exists anymore because rick has been so watered down.

The ideal solution is literally just to make morty into a bigger asshole. Essentially flipping the main characters' personalities would offer a wide variety of conflict into the show, and would also help keep it "fresh".

Instead it feels the writers are pretending that they can't possibly do anything with morty's character, that they have to keep him the same anxious idiot he was in season one. I've said this before, but it's incredibly frustrating to watch the show have no problem with expanding rick's character while struggling with keeping morty's heavily stagnated characterization consistent. Where rick has space to develop between multiple seasons, morty is constantly forced into one of two boxes (smart/stupid) depending on the episode.

#rick and morty #again i dont hate ricks therapy arc i just hate that morty doesnt have a parallel AntiTherapy arc #not to mention how. even if morty IS more bitter it usually only lasts for like an episode #there is no smooth progression or development. the show is just ping ponging between him being an idiot vs him being capable #this is why im sooooooososososo badly hoping the roy machine comes into play again. #otherwise this is genuinely offensive treatment of a main character #genuinely at the moment i feel like fandom understands morty better than the writers. #this is a half vent post to be honest im just so tired of the rick bias within the staff. Like make. a new show at this point #i also have thoughts on the way rick has been written these past few seasons and um . #well it feels lile fans are in the writers room and im afraid this is a negative. it sort of seems like the show is trying to- #sweep ricks past actions and behaviors under the rug #as if he isnt literally the worst person ever. up until recently i guess. #like its just frustrating seeing mortys abuse being handled so haphazardly? like the s5 2 crows episode #it just feels like the writers are trying to fill out a checklist instead of writing them as people. #“what we had was abusive dont you see?” who talks like this #okay im over it(lying) #rick sanchez #morty smith

[hakkikun]

I'm terrified 😳

#i know it's not a gifset but i just caught up and this part got me sjbvjdfj #LIKE BRO WHAT THE IM AFRAID #yeah i forgot Bond OH WELL he's cute #but yeah enjoy random ass weirdly made screenshot edits because why not #i just thought this is funny heh anyway #spy x family #loid forger #anya forger #yor forger #yor briar #sxf

[astrobei]

we need to talk about byler and midwest emo more

#anyways you weren’t the only one who thought of us that wayyyyyyyyy i spend most nights awake WIDE AWAKEEEEEEE #can you tell im back on my modern baseball shit. #not abby tho she and i have Been talking #byler #they are both pathetic losers from indiana their fates have been sealed im afraid

[demiesop]

laundry day

#demiart #bg3 tav #tav:sorn #I thought it was funny................... #im so sorry #im afraid to tag the characters i dont want to offend fans please don't look at this #good night