#im not sounding very normal rn

[sadpurpleblood]

okay im being weird again and i have to share it with tumblr

ive been thinking about numbers. specifically negative numbers. and how they kinda make... substraction irellevant? like 1-1 is the same as 1+(-1). Obviously. but we still learn substraction is like. A thing different from addition at first. Even though its kinda redundand. because it just makes more sense in the world of yk physical objects. Where you cant rlly have -1 apples and such.

Also the many oddities about zero. not gonna get into the dividing with it part but. Essentially, you can get any number plus its negative out of it? Like 0=1+(-1). Again like. OBVIOUSLY. But we created two whole like. Numbers with that. We made something out of nothing by also making its antithesis be. but math doesnt care. 0 and 1+(-1) are the same thing to math.

I feel like im starting to sound strange and to not make sense so ill stop here but. yeah.

#weird thoughts #math #mental stuff #kinda? not in my usual context but yeah #im not sounding very normal rn

[arundolyn]

"Oh, this? Don't be ridiculous! It's not a marriage certificate! Look closely, okay? Throw away all your hangups, and simply do what you feel. Aren't you just dying to sign it? Won't it feel good? 3... 2... 1... sign!"

#elphelt valentine #guilty gear #guilty gear strive #poses #respects #crow.gif #guilty gif #this is probably all for now im kinda going through it rn im tired #but i love her so very much #fun fact of the two(?) lines for her silly little scoot respect. the wedding one she scoots way longer. like half the screen #i put it here bc its funnier to me #normally its like... a third of the distance for the other ones #its a concert poster on the gif bc i think player 2 was i no i cant be fucked to change it #why does she say that line like shes a magician also girl you sound like youre about to start doing card tricks

[turrondeluxe]

Seeing ur Lovers Rock art made me ship them more than ever before. (I saw them first on Twitter)

I would like to nominate 2 other Spideys for Mirage and Ronin Mikey.

Spider-Man Noir for Mirage

Spider-Man 2099 for Ronin

Plz consider 🥺👉👈

NO WAIT. YOUR BRAIN IS SO BIG. I LOVE THEM.

#im sorry mirage mikey i have no idea how to draw you you scare me #BUT I LOVE THE IDEA OF THE BLACK AND WHITE BOYFRIENDS AUGH #ALSO I LOVE THIS SO MUCH IM SHAKING YOU RN. #im latino so this ship for me it's basically miguel miguel #miguel romance #we gotta look for a better name tho BECAUSE IM VERY NORMAL ABOUT THIS SHIP (LYING) #ask #spiderman 2099 #miguel o'hara #tmnt #tmnt mikey #tmnt michelangelo #tmnt the last ronin #my art #doodles #ronin and spiderman noir sounds so sweet too #writing it down

[narwhalandchill]

OH????? actual massive W what the hell

#thank fucking god 😭😭😭 #xueyis voicelines rn are so weird its like 2 completely different voiceovers clashing #its like one sounds fine one is just straight up not the same character #theyre fixing the biggest grievance i had w playing her im so happy man. like eng is v good overall #so i dont wanna be swapping constantly just for her to sound normal 💀💀💀 #waiting until 2.1 is p sad tho but i hope it means theyll have time to polish the delivery proper #but this is sooooo good #bc her VA Is very good!!! but somehow the direction fumbled this completely #havent kept up w sampos but like fyi if u found the leaks sub post about his fixed voicelines. the leaker labeled them wrong. #the ones called old are the new improved ones. idk how you fuck it up like that but ppl freaked out #bc the 'new' ones in the vid are actually the currently in game ones theyre removing💀💀 so obviously theyre the worse ones #rambles #hsr

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#aaaand that's 2 doctors that think i have bipolar ii 🙃 #so the conceptualize rn would b that my mood is fucked but im using ocd to keep myself contained withing sorta normal parameters #which. i mean. that does kinda fit with observationally. i would create rules around: u arent allowed to get excited abt things u arent #allowed to enjoy things bc u cant handle it. u cant b normal abt how u enjoy things. or bc when i go to enjoy a thing #my mood is caped at being lightly miserable so its like well fuck being around ppl it makes me feel nothing #bc my focus and energy swing around like the light on a lighthouse. and in between that im miserable or feel nothing #and if its true that i am bipolar the reason i never noticed would b bc i very rarely experience euphoria. mostly i have high energy and #dont feel good. just fucking out of control. so mixed episodes i guess. but like idk. i guess i just think of bipolar as being extremely #destructive. and i mean r my mood issues a problem? yes. sometimes a really big problem. but idk. im still resistant to thr idea #lots of ppl get misdiagnosed as bipolar even tho the presentation is so specific. i guess i just doesn't wanna accept it and then have to #have been wrong if i was misdiagnosed. but i mean 2 doctors independently listened to me and thought hm sounds like bipolar so maybe im #just being stubborn. also no one else in my family thst i kno of is bipolar. ive got 2 uncles with adhd but not bipolar relatives #i dunno. i guess it doesn't matter so long as i can get it under control. im good at control. destructively good at control #unrelated #i guess its more that ive never done anything life ruining bc of my moods #mostly i just dont sleep much and make myself crazy. so ill probably die an early death or whatever lack og sleep causes rio #i meant rip lol

[strwbrymlkshake]

I am trying so hard but it still isn't ENOUGH FOR YOU? DON'T YOU SEE HOW HARD I'VE BEEN TRYING?

#mine #normally i've been good about not being too upset over things #but oh fucking boy. okay. im glad people are scared of me #i hope they know that im the only right one in the whole world and they are wrong and are justified for fearing me and im glad my existence #will turn them off from sharing their wrong opinions. but oh FUCKING BOY? ive been sitting here the whole time like oh they hate me #oh they hate me so much they want me to die wahhh and im trying to do all the things they like because im for some reason fucking bothered #by their other opinions. even though the people themselves are useless trash #and oh. like i was suspecting it but its finally confirmed huh??? you all cant fucking stand the sight of me because im right? #you dont understand the truth?? they hated him because he told them the truth? thats me as fuck rn dude #i am literally gracing your eyes with the content i make and basically hand feeding you the correct opinions to have #and yet you still reject them! people just love being stupid unfortunately. i want to kill them all. #i would be so much nicer if you all just agreed with me on the objective truth but unfortunate you have to be stupid #i have graced you with so many GIFTS and protected you from my wrath so many times but you do not even give a fuck #WHY AM I CRYING. YOU ARE ALL SO USELESS WHY AM I CRYING!!! MAYBE ITS BECAUSE YOU DONT AGREE? #i guess im crying because they are all so stupid #so what im saying is its very unfortunate that everyone does not worship me and all my opinions and the world is very hard. yes. #friendship ended with self hatred now delusions of grandeur are my new best friend #even trhing to explain myself makes me sound like a shithead but i swear to fuck if you all just listened to me like youre supposed to #then absolutely nothing would ever go wrong! but you all had to be stupid on purpose! do you like being wrong? whats your problem #explaining all the reasons im RIGHT and yet i still feel bad for having the gall to do so. i shouldnt feel bad. im doing great. youre just #uncomfortable in the fact that YOURE wrong and making me have to accomodate you for your wrongness? tf is that about #okay lunatic rant over i have finished crying ☝️

[babydarkstar]

something evil happened to the us during the amber heard trials. there was a demonic shift in the undertones of mass communications rhetoric. and im not saying it was good and pure before that, because it absolutely wasn’t. but something shifted and revealed the easy sadism of people so long as there was profit to be made. and nobody on a significant level has seemed to acknowledge the wrongdoings of that time despite it seeming to be a consensus among sane people that that was wrong? idk. something wicked this way comes

#i know it’s just the misogyny showing #but there is something sinister and predatory about everything i see now #i question all of it #not to sound like i have a tin foil hat on rn or anything lmao #i promise i’m very normal. serious tone indicator #no but fr idk maybe im just tired and can’t articulate it but yeah #gestures vaguely

[floralovebot]

I talk a lot about how different fanon!Helia is from canon!Helia but not enough but how bad it is for all the characters.

Like you have Riven going from this insecure teenage boy who lashes out at anyone who challenges him to this suave bad boy who could kill the winx. People seeing Stella as a stuck up brat, thinking that she loves Bloom more than the other winx, or that she would ever choose to be selfish in ways that hurt the other characters. Or Flora going from this fairly confident young girl who loves to meet new people and hangout with others to an introverted shy mess who never speaks up and would never say something sarcastic. Not to sound like a bitch but I really do think it's time the fandom stops pretending we're better than other fandoms and don't have Fanon Versions because we do and it's messing with y'alls perception of canon so fucking bad

#theres a time and place for fanon and its not pretending that fanon IS canon #and like listen #there's a big difference between having headcanons and fanonizing a character so badly that theyre basically a different character #im not saying its Bad to have headcanons or to disagree with canon #everyone does that its normal and healthy for fandoms #that sounded SO online good god #but also recognizing that your headcanons are Just headcanons is also necessary? #and recognizing that sometimes headcanons have been disproven by canon or aren't backed up at all #and not acting like your fanon version Is canon or is better than canon? #like genuinely think some of you dont even like canon winx and you just like the fanon versions of them in your head #like no sorry but flora isnt the fumbling shy mess who can't even speak to the others #stella isnt the dumb selfish princess who can't fight and wouldn't protect her friends #aisha isn't the Super Independent Woman who hates all men (also a very racist trope) #musa isnt that I Hate Everyone bitch who would dropkick the winx and physically abuse riven #i could go on and on like im sorry but the fanon versions of them are So Bad rn its so weird to me #like... fanon has always existed but i dont think its ever been this bad? usually Extreme Fanon only happened when someone hated a characte #like people usually only mischaracterize them when they Hate them but now im seeing people who Love them do it #i dont understand what happened why has fanon gotten so bad recently?? #also Im Sorry if any of this sounds targeted or extra bitchy i promise im not talking about anyone specific and im not Trying to be mean #i just really hate going into a character tag and seeing post after post of people going 'riven would kill sky if he got the chance' #and i dont mean the clearly joke posts i mean the Very Genuine Headcanon posts like what the FUCK are you people talking about #i genuinely think some of you got your degrees from the fanon university instead of the canon uni #please rewatch the entire first three seasons at your earliest convenience or your degree will be revoked #ajhdglagd #like not to sound mean but i think there was an influx of people who only vaguely remembered the show and got the rest of their info #from random tumblr posts instead of yknow. the actual show #oh i am very complainy today time to do something more productive and less chronically online

[bunnihearted]

.

#ok im not gonna let myself complain abt it too much. even if complaining is very cathartic to me. like its just part of the process #anyway im gonna try to not do that.... #but yeah i hate being ill and in pain. it's like a veil is pulled over myeyes and the entire world gets so dark and scary #idk how to explain i just feel so alone and so anxious and so unhappy #my experience with healthcare is sadly that treatment never helps and nothing gets better #so that's why i always get kinda depressed when something like this happens #the doctor suspects it is gallstones. and i got those rectal pills skskks that i'll try for the pain #then i just need to wait to get an ultra sound scan so they can check for gallstones. then i dont know #i was too stressed to ask her abt diet and such but im reading online and im like?? idk what im supposed to eat #that pain is just fkn awful and im so scared of triggering it #esp bc i dont fkn know how to put a pill up my ass that stresses me out even more #if i had an ordinary life i.e a job and friends and such it's easier to handle these things. but when u feel vulnerable nd scared it makes #it sm worse..... #and im so fkn stressed abt school now!!!! how am i supposed to sit and class when im in pain???? and barely sleeping #yeah idk. i need to find a way to get thru this ksksks :((((( #maybe im over dramatic or smth. i prob am. but i cant describe it im just in sm pain and im scared and confused and stressed af #i also have no idea how long this will last or if i can start eating normally and when i can start going for my walks again #like will this not pass until they remove the potential gallstone or what?? #i hate this pain sm it hurts so bad i dont know how long i'll be able to endure it #im also getting closer to a depression so.. idk im just not ok rn ksks

[fleshdyke]

absnskaisgbsj

#lost literally one of the best friendships of my life yesterday #i mean it’s been gone for a while i just never had the courage to talk to them about it until yesterday. and that basically confirmed it tbh #they didn’t say i did anything wrong but they also didn’t not say i did anything wrong and i’m v paranoid that i did do smth wrong #like i dont want to talk bad abt any of them bc genuinely i had so much fun with these people and im so glad i got to know them #like when i talked to them they were very dry ig? like not like their usual self at all even when talking to someone they dont know #definitely sounded like they were talking to someone they hated. im trying to tell myself taht its just my anxiety but ummm yeah idk i think #im actually right this time #idk. it just sucks man. im trying to think of what i did wrong bc i just dont know what happened #i think im overanalyzing every interaction i can remember having with these ppl bc i dont even want to entertain the idea that they might #have been bad people all along. i dont want to think that and i dont but idk it feels like an observation about myself that ive made from #the outside in yk. like half of me is feeling the emotional response and the other half is just watching from the outside like im someone #else. and i know this is a normal human thing but its just always weird yk #and then theres the whole awful thing of seeing shit that they would find funny or that reminds me of them. and i also dont know what im #supposed to do when school starts back up again bc we took a lot of the same classes and if i end up in a class with them idk if im supposed #to say hi or just pretend they dont exist or not and i dont want to make the wrong decision so they hate me even more yk #whatever man. it fucking sucks but life goes on. my dog is just chilling in my room rn and i’ll always have her and tia and my brother #rambles #vent

[orcelito]

OK I have 2k written for the lil trigun senses drabble. Contemplating posting it tonight. Not like me to write smth and then post it literally the night after, but this is meant to be a low effort kind of thing anyways. Shaking off the rust & all that business

#speculation nation #trying to get myself to not stress about writing so much #discacc updates are so much pressure bc Hundreds of people get emails for every little update #so i gotta make it Count. cant be anything less than perfect. #for this tho. i have next to no readership in trigun fandom. MAYBE a few mutuals. #im not posting this for recognition. im posting it for the fun of it #and bc some people Maybe would enjoy reading a mini exploration of Vash's whole Deal #who knows! it's only 2k words. practically miniscule for me #but it's a natural cutoff for this focus. and next focus will be.. smell probably #sound smell taste sight touch. is the order im thinking of. #one chapter focusing on each. & how it's different from that of a normal person's #and of course it's vashwood. of Course. not that theyre very uhhh buddy buddy rn with the first chapter #i have it set a few days after the rollo stuff. they are not very happy with one another lol #maybe will post. if not today then tomorrow. idk i just wanna post Something. #tho i gotta do homework tonight 😭😭😭 ugh

[dazais-crab-addiction]

Happy Valentine’s Day! He brought you a bear that will detonate in 5..4..3..2..

Gdlajdkahd, breadsoup you are amazing. Thank you. Being blown up by a Valentines bear has been a 10/10 experience :D

#crab says words #asks #i am heavily sleep deprived so this is the reaction you get from me being happy and amused #take it as you will #i need to learn how to not chronically use periods that make my sentences sound monotone but alas that day will probably never come hehe #trying so hard to be normal rn #ah and also happy Valentines day to you as well!!! #i will be doing nothing this year cuz my partner works but we went out for dinner and exchanged gifts yesterday to make up for it #im gonna stop rambling now though oops #i for real need to go to sleep i am becoming deranged i think #it has been almost 24 hours and before that it had also been almost 24 hours and i only got 3 hours of sleep between that #honestly i should probably just delete most of these tags but im too lazy now.... #hdksjdks i need to STOP pls #been awhile since i was THIS sleep deprived and i am very fine completely okay perfectly normal #im going to go pass out and probably not wake up for 12 hours (hopefully) #i am so sorry 😅

[nazumichi]

boys will be unable to locate their copy of htn and be so normal about it

#that’s a lie where’s my bone witch my midnight hag my evil stick #raii talks a lot #im typing this normally but be aware that I’m VERY mad because it’s supposed to be in the box of stuff from my room #and I can’t find it and I found gtn but the cover is SO BENT and I’m so mad rn I hate this house I hate whoever packed my stuff #when I said I was doing it where is it !!!! #*sound of glass breaking as camera zooms in on my face*

[dandyshucks]

ooohhh f/o save me djdkdkl today is being unkind to meeee

#vent // #<- tag to block for vent posts #hoping that i did not just crack my phone screen aaaaaaaa hoping it is just the screen protector somehow fhfkdl #also my family is hosting a solstice celebration starting innnn one hour roughly #outside. in the damp cold. with a campfire #i am so very tired today fjfkdl so maybe I'd be okay normally w this but rn that sounds absolutely miserable to me fjfkdl #i like being warm and dry and able to breathe and being outside in the damp cold winter w a fire is opposite of that DHJDKDL #a heem heem whimper dhfkdl #i need to find smth to wear still... ougghhh im just so very exhausted fhfkdl todays been so busy and so much #its difficult finding warm clothes that are easy to get smoke smell out of dhdkdl #dandy.cmd

[fellasleepinbaltimore]

#also my grandma called my sister saying she's sad i havent called her and i literally #i started crying seasoning meat #i hate human emotion sometimes #like ive been fine most of the week which im grateful for bc #good thoughts must be ny sword and shield of the richness of my kingdom will fall #so yeah but i just am actually so dejected rn #like i feel it constantly behind my eyes and i can feel myself listening for every little sound so #i can prepare myself like always on my toes these days #and its fine if i don't think to hard about it #if i just move from the next thing forward if i go about things as normal #but i feel very much odd and inmundane #i feel like im at the edge of a cliff or about to cross the street and im just waiting for which way ill be pushed

[burger-louise]

.

#personal #dont mind me im gonna start complaining in the tags bc i just need to put this SOMEWHERE before i explode #i dont wanna be ungrateful............... ive been having the roughest weirdest time with my friends lately #and my friend just gave me my birthday present that was like a group present from them #which is what we normally do so like no surprises there #and they got me a nice gift like it was very nice of them to get me a polaroid camera #but i just. cant help but feel. disappointed. #bc it was so obvious that only one friend put in the effort to sus out what i potentially wanted #and even then it was something i was only kinda sure of #and like there were so many things i had wanted more surely idk #this sounds so petty of me like why didnt they get me something i wanted more >:(( #its just. the lack of effort kinda stings lol idk!!!!!!! #and also lowkey salt in the wound moment bc like i wanted a polaroid camera back when we were still hanging out regularly #but we dont really anymore and i dont really hang out with anyone anymore #so wtf am i supposed to take polaroids of???? #gonna just pictures of random shit and be like ah yes look at all this scenery and my no friends #it makes me miserable just thinking about it #anyone who enters my room and sees my severe lack of people in my polaroids is gonna clock me straight away i hate this actually #i just. wish. they got me something that didnt feel like my heart was being ripped out #it just feels. bad. i dont like this gift that is basically a reminder of how miserable my life is rn