Imagine you and Cleo clothes shopping for Deuce
Walking along the length of the rack, your fingers brushed through the shirts as you tried to find one that caught your eye. When one seemed promising, you pulled it out slightly, trying to get a better look at the design. Most of the shirts ended up put back on the rack as you shook your head in disapproval once you saw the whole thing. With a sigh, you moved onto a new rack and started the cycle of rejection once more.
“Oh?” You mused aloud, pulling out a rich green Furberry cotton shirt. Giving it a once over, you took note of the small embroidered emblem at the center of the shirt. Approving at the design, you raised a hand to the sleeve and felt the fabric, admiring the soft texture underneath your fingertips. “It’s nice.” One approval down.
“Cleo! Deuce!” Taking the shirt and grabbing another two in the same style but a different color, you walked to the end of the row as you looked for your partners through the store.
Spotting a hand waving in the air, you smiled as you heard Deuce call out to you. “We’re over here, babe.”
Walking over to the waving hand, you spotted your boyfriend’s green snake-hawk first before the sound of Cleo’s golden bangles clinking together reached your ear. The two were in the pants section of the store, Cleo bent down slightly as she glanced over the pants while Deuce stood beside her, his arms full of clothes.
When you reached your partners, you held up the shirts you found for the two to see. “Cleo, look at these shirts I found.”
Straightening up, Cleo’s eyes move away from the pants and over to you. “Oh my Ra,” A smile breaks out on her face as she makes her way to you. She takes the green shirt from your hand to get a closer look, nodding as she approves of the front before turning over to look at the back. “This shirt is absolutely fangtastic! And I found the perfect pants to go with it!”
She motions for Deuce to come closer and looks through the pile of clothes in his grasps before pulling out the one she was looking for. “Put those clothes down for a bit, Deuce-y.” The gorgon does as he’s told, dropping the pile onto the table beside him. Giving the shirt and pants to Deuce, she says, “Hold them against yourself. We need to see how they look like on you.”
Standing beside Cleo, the two of you take a few steps back as Deuce holds up the shirt and pants to his body. ”It looks so creeperific together!” Cleo says, giving both of your boyfriend a once-over.
“If we rolled up the sleeves up to his elbow, it would look even better.”
Cleo’s eyes brighten at your suggestion, pressing a kiss to your cheek. “Spooktacular taste!” Moving over to Deuce, she does the same to him before taking your hand and beginning to lead the way. “Come on, Deuce. We have to get you to the dressing room so you could try the clothes out. Maybe we can find some shoes to tie the outfit together,” She muses, tapping a finger to her chin.
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Percy: Hey Wise Girl, did you know that I have a YouTube Series? The Mysterious-
Annabeth: The Mysterious Disappearances of Percy Jackson, I’ve seen it
Percy: Really?
Annabeth: Yeah, you’ve got several, but we’ve all got one. I was Rockabye Runaway
Percy: All of us?
Annabeth: Yep
Percy:
Percy: So Nico-
Annabeth: His is “Nico Di Angelo: Boy Lost In Time or Dangerous Fraud?,” comes from a conspiracy channel called TimeTravelersRUs
Jason: What about-
Annabeth: Whatever Happened to the Grace Family by Famous Family Misfortune, they also have one on Piper called Piper McLean: American Darling or American Criminal?
Leo: Ooh, do I have one?
Annabeth: Yeah, yours is “The Boy Who Set His World On Fire: The True Story of Leo Valdez” by Baby Criminals Dot Com, they are convinced that you’ve committed serial arson
Percy: Hazel and Frank?
Annabeth: another TimeTravelersRUs vid called The Girl Made Of Diamonds and a video by someone called True Stories From Around The Globe called Canadian Terror: The Frank Zhang Story. They both spent the entire time mispronouncing their last names
Piper: Hey I think I remember someone asking about that at school-
Percy: WAIT IS THAT WHY SOMEONE ASKED IF I WAS IN A CULT LAST WEEK?!
Leo: Hey someone asked you that too? Nice!
Frank: *sighs* I’ll talk to Chiron
Nico: How did you even let these things get on YouTube anyways?
Annabeth: In my defense, we aren’t even allowed to use technology
Hazel: I’m still confused on what a YouTube is
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its been over 2 years since i read volume 9 of chainsaw man and it still apparently has the power to make me sob uncontrollably when i think about it so im going to talk a bit about aki and denji being shown as children during the snowball fight and why it's currently making me wanna rip my hair out :)
aki is already gone during this scene for all intents and purposes, having very little comprehension of the events his body is in and just waiting to be set free. his mind reverting back to the moment he lost his family is not surprising, since that's when his life permanently changed trajectory.
he's not to blame for being stuck in this moment, as it would make sense for any kid his age. however, he didn't put himself on the path towards revenge, which inevitably made him unable to let go. that was makima. she took him by the hand and gave him this "purpose", something she very well knew he was never going to achieve anyway. she trapped him in this predicament and made sure he stayed there till there were no options left for him.
to the very end, aki's life was never his own, but planned for him. aki never left that snowy forest. he wasn't allowed to.
as a result, the essence of aki that remained within the gun fiend after his death materialized as the last genuine version of aki that ever was. a kid playing in front of his house.
moving over to denji, who is the one that got me crying today. his appearance as a child in aki's mind is partly to parallel the bond they shared and the bond between aki and his little brother, whom he lost that day. of course. however i think there's a lot of significance to this choice for denji's character as well.
denji grew up remote and very disconnected from society. he never got the chance to learn how to navigate his feelings and relationships with other people. he had to figure it all out as he went, first with pochita, whom he got attached to and later with aki and power. even with makima.
makima was the first person to ever give him attention and affection, to give him the things he always wanted, but she never treated him like a person. she never helped him get any closer to learning how to be one. he was used, much like aki was, and was given a purpose that was never going to be for his own benefit.
as a result, denji took a while to go through the motions of being surrounded by humans and being taught by them. the first time we saw him face the concept of loss was with pochita, an event that didn't really give him much in terms of experience considering all the implications and how suddenly it changed his life. in its nature, it wasn't a type of loss he would've been able to navigate as a human.
im not going to go into the situation with his father since we saw very explicitly how incapable he was to handle it to the point of blocking it out and having it haunt him till the end of part one. he surely didn't get much data out of that experience either, or the abuse he went through before it.
the first real time he got to see loss occur very close to him was himeno's death. he had no emotional reaction to it, which confused him since he was able to observe its effect on aki and other people around him. he questioned his own humanity for the first time and it upset him, if only momentarily. it gave him a hint of perspective.
sadly, he was going to find out what loss meant the hard way.
with makima still treating him like an animal and the circumstances forcing him to still rely on his instincts, denji's emotional maturity wasn't really prioritized. he did inevitably grow closer to aki and power, without necessarily being able to recognize those feelings for what they were. again he just had to go through the motions.
fast forward to the gun devil arc. he's told by makima on the phone to not think, to just fight aki without thinking about it. we see the progress that's been made in how clearly unable denji is to follow that order, aki being the closest thing to family he's ever had by this point.
he fights his best friend, not even thinking about himself, but of how aki would feel if he were conscious of how much destruction he was causing. still up to this point, denji doesn't know that he loves aki. it hasn't computed to him as a piece of info, only as an experience.
him being shown as a child in the snow, a contrast to the violent reality that his body is in, has as much significance as it does for aki.
denji never really grew up, he never got past his father's death or anything that happened to him before and after that. he was kept from it by his life and makima herself, once again. his ineptitude was weaponized and he was nowhere near being aware of it. he was also stuck.
in that scene, denji experiences real loss. he loses someone he loves and someone who loves him back. someone who thought himself unable to do so but was the first to love him like a human.
he was just a kid, losing his family by his own hand again, only this time he had been loved.
it's highlighted in the next chapter, where he appears unable to grieve and looks kind of numb instead. then we have the ice cream scene, where he thinks the words for the first time and throws up immediately.
his confusion after it happens, him being unable to fathom why his body would have such a reaction, breaks my heart almost more than the entirety of the snowball fight itself, from denji's pov.
im not going to talk about what happens directly after that and its implications bc im gonna end up talking forever, but his behavior throughout the next chapters very much shows how out of his depth he is when it comes to loss and grief and how lost and helpless he is in makima's hands.
my point is, both aki and denji were used, weaponised and kept from growing up while also having to deal with the world and its cruelty at the same time. even the closeness they achieved was planned and used against them both. this is only one of many angles of the snowball fight scene that can be looked at and interpreted in different ways. but it was the one that made me ugly cry today :)
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