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#instead he is always super supportive and sweet and happy for me when i tell him about my writing

royalarchivist · 3 months

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Ironmouse: Part of the reason why I love this server so much is because everybody's so nice. Everyone! Like, every single person is super nice! And it's like- it's like, genuine nice, it's not like fake niceness. [...] I've literally talked to almost everybody at least once like outside of the QSMP. We've talked on Discord, people regularly check in on me, we get in group chats and we play games like outside of the server... You don't really find that sort of connection all the time with people.

Ironmouse recently talked about her experience on QSMP, and how kind all the members are. I'm posting the entire conversation instead of cutting it up like I usually would because I really enjoyed hearing her thoughts on the server.

[ Subtitle Transcript ]

Ironmouse: Honestly, I'm sure he wouldn't mind if I did. He's so nice, he's so- he's always been super nice to me. He's been so nice, I– part of the reason why I- I love this server so much is because everybody's so nice. Everyone! Like, every single person is super nice! And it's like- it's like, genuine nice, it's not like fake niceness. You know how sometimes like– you always hear like, "Oh yeah, you know–" when–

Ironmouse: Whenever you like, join like a new thing, right? Whenever you like join like a new thing, you always worry, 'cuz you always think: "Oh, are the people gonna like me? Are they gonna be nice to me? What if- What if- you know, what if this, what if that?" But everybody like genuinely was nice when I first came by, and everybody has been so nice to me– not just in the game, but outside of the game, and–

Ironmouse: Something special about the QSMP is like... People wanna be your friend like outside of the game? Like, I've literally talked to ev– almost– almost everybody at least once like outside of the QSMP, like... We've talked on Discord, people like regularly check in on me, and like we get in group chats and like we- we play games like outside of the server, and it's just like... You don't really find that sort of connection all the time with people? You know what I mean? It's very– it's very not common when you go on like, a content creator-like server or stuff like that, you know? You'll get like one or two people that you get close to and stuff, but like... Everybody is SO nice, and everybody's been so nice to me, and I can't tell you how many people like, wished me– not just like wished me happy birthday, or like wished- said, "Oh, you know, hap- Merry Christmas!" dadadada, it's like genuinely like... Asked how I'm doing, and like talk to me, and like... Just like– I dunno, it's just like so- so- it's so wonderful. Ironmouse: Like, I get that with VShojo a lot, like– we're all like besties, and we all like talk all the time, but I feel like it's different, 'cuz like VShojo– we're VShojo, we're like– we're our own group, but this is like... You know... You don't expect this sorta thing when you get invited to like be on some- be a part of something, you know? And it's- and it's been so– it's been so wonderful and everybody's been so GENUINELY nice to me, and I- I appreciate everybody on the server so much, and they're just some of the nicest people that I've ever met ever, and it's just–

Ironmouse: It just warms my heart, and I'm just really– really like, thankful to be a part of something so great, and something so positive! Because like, everybody's so supportive! Like– the time when like, I didn't like– I- I- I had a moment where it's like I– do you guys remember in December when I- I was not around a lot? And like, I had to take breaks and all this stuff and it turns out it was like the concert stuff? They all like would message me regularly, like, we would all keep up with each other, and we would all talk. And I remember telling them about like, how much stress I was under, and like all the- all the pressures of the concert and stuff, and– and they were cheering, and- and- and they were just so... so kind to me, it was just so– so sweet, and- and you know, I was in a group chat with a- with a few people, and they were all just so excited and- and- just super nice, and- and very- very sweet, and it's just– and it's just very– I'm sorry if I'm rambling! It's just...

Ironmouse: I dunno! I- I- I just enjoy being here, and I enjoy hanging out with everybody, and... it's just nice to meet really good people. You don't really find that. You don't find that sort of thing all the time. Don't get me wrong– it's not like I haven't met a lot of good people, like– I just feel like this whole like, my whole like– Ever, like– My streaming journey, I've just been nothing but surprised at the goodness of people? Don't get me wrong– I've met assholes and sht like that, and I've met- I've encountered some people that are NOT so nice. I'll never like, talk about it or whatever because that's their thing, and I'm just gonna do my thing and I don't wanna like, you know, spread any type of stupid drama or whatever the fck, but like... I'm just always surprised about how– how incredibly nice people are, and how genuine a lot of people are, and it's... It- it's just nice, especially since like– You're used to coming from like, a certain background and a certain like, environment where it's like, you've met a lot of like fcked up mean people in your life, and you've just been around a lot of like fckery, you know? So when- when you're around stuff that's NOT fcked, it's just like, "Woah, this is crazy! Is this- is this how life is supposed to be?!" And it's just- it's just really... it's really- it's really nice. It's very nice.

Ironmouse: Yeah, it's very refreshing, that's why I- I enjoy hanging out on here, everybody's just so nice to me. And it's not just like being nice just to be on-stream, it's nice off-stream, on-stream, friendship on-stream, off-stream, it's- it's just- it's just so- it's- it's- it's wonderful. It's wonderful. And I just have to say like... man, I'm just really thankful that like... it's crazy that like I got invited to be on here and I'm just really thankful that, you know... Quackity like, reached out to me and he's- he's just been nothing but nice, everybody- everybody's just so kind. Everybody's so nice. This is something truly special.

#QSMP #Ironmouse #February 11 2024 #Subtitles #*clenches fist* You don't want to know how long it took me to transcribe and subtitle this thing #anyways I saw people sharing a Twitter thread where Mouse talked about this #and I was like ''hey that thread cut some bits out''#so. here I am. posting the entire thing. and subtitling + transcribing it for some reason #anyways I'm shocked Tumblr let me upload this #I did lower the video quality a little bit (reluctantly) because the length + quality made the file size a smidge too big for Tumblr #but it's still pretty good quality imo. yeah?#I'm 100% applying to be a video editor the next time Quackity Studios is looking to hire folks again.#give me money so I can justify the time and effort I put into these things #Edit: Yeah I might make a shorter version of this too #just so I can direct people to this longer version as well #EDIT: LMAO I FORGOT TO POST THIS #Edited

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youcouldmakealife · 25 days

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KS Fill: Mike/Liam; happy place

For the always welcome prompt: Anything where Mike and Liam are happy

Teensy bit NSFW because, well, it's Mike and Liam.

The kitchen’s always been Mike’s favourite room of the house.

Well, Liam would like to think it’s his second favourite room, but it probably isn’t. It’s not like they keep shit confined to the bedroom or anything anyway. There isn’t a surface in this house that Liam hasn’t gotten bent over at some point, though Mike was very, very thorough about disinfecting the kitchen counter after. Totally anal about it.

“Why are you snickering to yourself,” Mike says.

It doesn’t even come out suspicious, he’s gotten into such a rhythm cutting little stars out of a sheet of cookie dough. He probably wouldn’t admit this even to himself, but while Mike may like to cook, he loves to bake. Only ever does it for others, though, like the baking itself isn’t unmanly but eating the results is.

That means Liam usually only gets to sample his baking one filched cookie at a time, which is bullshit. But also, probably good for his career. Mike’s just as good at baking as he is at cooking. Possibly even better, but Liam’s got a sweet tooth, so he’s probably biased.

“Liam,” Mike says, and Liam realises he hasn’t bothered to answer.

“Thought of a sex joke,” Liam says.

Mike snorts. “Of course you did,” he says. “Do I want to hear it?”

“You always do,” Liam says. Mike secretly thinks he’s hilarious.

“Go ahead,” Mike says, trying and failing to sound long-suffering. Cutting little stars is clearly his happy place. Liam’s going to go completely nuts online later buying cookie cutters. He wonders if they have little skulls and crossbones or rockets or something. Maybe Mike will let them keep a batch of cookies if they’re badass enough. Probably not, but a man can hope.

“Remember how we fucked in the kitchen?” Liam asks.

“Which time?” Mike asks.

Liam waves a hand. “Irrelevant to the joke.”

“Okay,” Mike says. “Yes, I remember.”

“So I was thinking about how you were, you know, super thorough cleaning the counters off after?” Liam asks.

“I prepare food on these counters,” Mike says. “They need to be—“

“Not saying you shouldn’t have been,” Liam says. “Just, you know. That was kind of anal of you.”

Mike doesn’t stop himself from snorting in time. “That was bad,” he says, a second too late. “Completely juvenile.”

“I know,” Liam says cheerfully. Made Mike snort, though, so what does that say about him?

Mike looks down at his handiwork, a sea of stars across the baking sheet, enough for every member of the roster.

“You’re making two batches, right?” Liam asks. It’s just the team for this one, no significant others or kids, so technically only one batch is needed, but one per person doesn’t work out well. There are thieves on that team. He should know: he’s one of them.

“Three,” Mike says. “Make sure there’s enough for the support staff.”

Once again, Mike is going to be the most popular person at the team Christmas party. Third straight year. Liam thinks they should make him a trophy or something.

“Can we decorate them to be North Stars?” Liam asks. “Or is that not Christmassy enough?”

“Why do you think I picked stars, Fitzgerald?” Mike asks, and Liam grins at him. “Why don’t you make yourself useful, find the green food colouring for me?”

Liam has no idea where the fuck it would be, but he has eyes and hands and enthusiasm, and the full awareness that Mike will gripe at him from across the room like a backseat searcher until he locates it.

“Why would it be in there?” Mike asks, as Liam opens the cupboards, and Liam grins at the mixing bowls. The griping’s already begun.

“Baking stuff,” Liam says.

Mike sighs, and Liam moves one over.

“Liam,” he says, and Liam grins wider. “Really?”

“Tell me where to go, and I’m there,” Liam says, but instead Mike pins him against the counter, basically surrounding him. Liam leans back into him, closes his eyes when Mike wraps an arm around his chest, brushes his lips against Liam’s temple, the kind of thing he’d deny was a kiss if asked. ‘What? Kiss you? My mouth just happened to be in the area, don’t flatter yourself’.

Liam tilts his head up, and he gets a proper kiss for that, though Mike pulls away just as he’s starting to get a crick in his neck. He always seems to know, somehow.

Mike presses another not-kiss to his cheekbone, then smacks his ass. “Go find me the food colouring,” he says.

It takes ten minutes, and Mike almost throws the cookie cutter at him, but eventually Liam locates it.

“Can I help make the frosting?” he asks.

“You just want to lick the beaters,” Mike says, but he doesn’t say no.

#fic snippet #mike brouwer #liam fitzgerald

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buckyalpine · 2 years

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Hi sweet dolcezza (that is Italian and means sweetness so sweet sweetness :) )

Hope you are doing well, I want to thank you again for your beautiful blog and wonderful works.

I am reading the last things you posted, beautiful as always!

Since I live for the drama, the sadness, the darkness...

I was thinking about how a broken boy with traumas, Bucky 🫢, would react about his girlfriend having mental health problem.

Maybe she has been developing them...

She wasn't always like that, she lost her sparkle and he doesn't know her like this, he sees another person, another woman, another human.

He can't understand and is confused, maybe mad.

On one side I think about him being supportive, on the other I think about him being disrespectful and invalidating, like he had lived major traumas but, he says "he is not complaining so much about it or playing the victim" like her.

-I had this hint because my mental health is not good, I have severe OCD, since I was a kid basically I remember being this way since the age of five four. I am struggling with ed and borderline personality disorder.

And I had partners that, even if they lived traumas, still invalidated mine a lot and called me names, so the were basically toxic.-

And i can't picture where Bucky could fall. Toxic? Supportive?

I love him, but sometimes he acts shady and not always I can read him.

I see him dark most of the time.

But they can always repair the relationship and be together or not?

(I am problematic with toxic guys ahahahaha)

Sorry for this and my life story, noone asked about buy still. I just think you are the best person to write something as deep.

I really hope you are doing good and enjoying your day so far.

A lot of kisses and hugs and support.

🌺

18+

Babes we are one in the same with toxic men. I like to think there's the version of Bucky who has so much love and empathy for others going through mental health struggles and then there’s the Bucky who loves you but doesn’t know how to process things and acts impulsively. Here, we look at the second.

Warnings: Angst, Mental health issues, some toxic behavior, (happy ending, they learn to fix things)

Disclaimer: Some of the stuff in this fic are things I/others have gone though so please refrain from comments about why the reader stayed or what the reader should have done or how the story should have gone. Sometimes I get super sucked into the angsty parts and struggle to undo the damage so don’t read too much into it.

I imagine it starts off bad because Bucky's still learning to deal with his own mental health and there are times where he can be selfish without meaning to. He's so used to having you comfort and take care of him, he doesn't know what to do when you start to change. He’s been through so much, he can’t imagine someone else feeling his level of anguish.

You’re no longer the same person he fell in love with. Your sparkle is gone. A grey dullness encasing you. He doesn’t know when things changed or why but he just wants you back; the distance between you both gets worse with each passing day. You try your best to still be there for him because you know he needs it; you love him with all your heart even when your own feels heavy.

"Baby, are you okay?"

"I’m fine"

Bucky practically scoffs when you ask him how he’s doing because you should know he’s never fine. He’s never okay. He doesn't know why you bother asking him when its the same shit he deals with on a daily basis.

You can't bring yourself to tell him how you're feeling because you know he doesn't have the capacity to help you when he's struggling himself. He shrugs, not knowing what else to say, letting you wallow in your misery, taking his frustrations out during his workouts instead. Things continue to worsen; you fall deeper in your spiral while Bucky continues to shut you not, realizing it’s you who needs him.

“Can we talk?”

You’re desperate at this point, hoping maybe he’ll at least listen but he shakes his head instead. Bucky can’t stop the bitterness that starts to rise in his chest; he missed his ma, his sisters. His missed living in a world where he understood the things around him, where he didn’t have to feel like a lost toddler every time he stepped outside. His feelings have nothing to do with you, he really does love you but all the bitterness spills onto the one person who is always there for him.

“What’s the point y/n”

“I-I just feel...” You shrug, not knowing how to tell Bucky of all people that you felt empty.

“What do you feel. I don’t know what you even complain for”

“I feel like I have no one Bucky” You felt your stomach drop when his eyes bore into you, as if he's challenging your feelings.

“You still have your cousins, other family, friends. You complain so much but you’re so spoiled. I’m going through shit too, but you don’t see me acting like a victim”

You swallow the anger that tries to rise, trying to understand his point of view. It all comes to a boiling point because you're trying your hardest to hold it together while he doesn’t see your spiral break down. You felt your heart splinter; after every time you had held him, loved him, cared for him, he looked at you with emptiness.

“Bucky, I know you’re going through things-

“Things? You think I can just turn this fucking shit off y/n? I’m not fucking normal, and you’ll never fucking get it. Honestly, I don’t know what to tell you, I’ll stay at Steve’s tonight”

He makes his way to the door and you know you can’t be alone tonight, there’s too much going on inside.

“Please don’t” your voice is a plea, your practically begging at this point. You can feel your throat tighten because you feel selfish for struggling when he’s been through so much worse.

“Bucky please stay” you trail behind him, your knees shaking. You try to tug at his wrist but he doesn’t let you. When you finally try to cling onto his arm, his composure breaks.

“GET OFF ME” he pulls out of your grasp, sending you stumbling back. He’s usually mindful of his strength but he doesn’t think and you lose your balance, ending up on the floor. He freezes in utter disbelief with himself, he’d never in a million years even try to hurt you.

“Fuck, baby I’m so so-”

“Don’t”

Your eyes are now stone cold, your voice was low. He tries to help you up but you scramble away from him, adding distance between you both. He takes a step forward again but something isn’t right, he finally sees how broken you look.

“Y/n….”

“GET OUT”

Your voice tore through the walls and his eyes are wide with fear because he's never seen you so broken. He’s never heard you raise your voice like this; you’d always spoken to him softly. He’s scared because he didn’t mean to push you to your breaking point and he doesn’t know how to take it back.

"I-"

“GET THE FUCK OUT”

You pick yourself off the floor, your heart beating through your chest. You practically see red, after everything you had done for him, he called you selfish; you sat through every one of his panic attacks, his depressed days, his nightmares. He couldn't listen to you for one night.

"You fucking piece of shit"

You angrily tried to wipe your face, moving away from him to pack a bag, not wanting to be near him for a minute longer. You go straight to your room while he runs after you, panic rising, he wants to cry but he can’t, not right now.

“Doll I’m sorry-

“I don’t care” You rummage through some of your belongings, feeling yourself go numb. You felt like your mind didn’t even belong to you anymore, your body moving in autopilot. Bucky hates the vacant look on your face, he wants to hold you and tell you he’s sorry. He tries to wrap his arms around you, not knowing what else to do but you shove him away, shaking your head.

“Don’t-don’t touch me, don’t ever fucking touch me again”

He watches helplessly when you rip yourself away, shoving a few things into your duffle bag, not meeting his eyes.

"I-I don't fucking love you, I-I'm d-d-one with you"

“Baby please don’t go”

“Oh, so when you beg, I have to stay?” You scoff, letting out a humorless laugh “Fuck off”

He’s terrified now because while your movements are robotic, your body is shaking and you don’t even seem to notice. Bucky hates seeing you trembling; you’re about to leave the room and walk out but he stops you.

“Bucky, move” You suck in a breath, your nails digging into your hands, but he stays rooted in place.

“No bubba”

“Don’t call me that” Your voice trembles, another surge of anger flowing through you when he tries to reach out for you. “I SAID DON’T TOCUH ME”

He pulls you to his chest and you try to rip yourself free but he doesn’t let you go.

“LET GO”

Bucky shakes his head, hugging you tighter, his tears dampening your hair. The screams and wails ripping from your chest burn his insides, you desperately try to escape but he cradles you closer.

“M’sorry”

“L-let me g-o”

“M’sorry baby, I’m sorry, I’m sorry” He doesn’t care that your hitting his chest, he doesn’t care that your hands keep striking him. He can feel your body give way, your breaths uneven, months of pain spilling out all at once. He hugs you tighter like he should have done ages ago, realizing you needed him more than ever. Your body continues to fight but your angry screams turn into pained sobs.

“I’m so sorry my babygirl”

He carefully carries you to the bed where he can hold you in his lap. He tries to think of what you do for him, warming your body, rubbing his hands along your back and arms. He feels awful because you always take such good care of him and he was grasping at straws trying to do the same for you. You deserved so much more.

“Shhhh” His lips brush against your forehead, one hand gently rubbing your chest while the other continues to soothe your back so he can regulate your breathing. “Slowly baby, breathe with me, okay?”

You say nothing, but you try to follow his breaths, letting him take care of you. He continues to tell you how much he loves and cares for you, how sorry is he for hurting you. Exhaustion takes over and you allow yourself to fall asleep with him. A part of you is still angry but your too weak to move and you need to be held.

You wake up in the middle of the night feeling his chest tremble against you. His soft sniffles are muffled as he tries to keep his cries down while cuddling you close.

“Bucky?” You lift your head to see his broken expression.

“I’m s-sorry” He chokes out, breaking down. He feels selfish again because he should be the one comforting you but he was angry with himself. “I-I can’t believe I hurt you angel”

You move up so you can wipe some of his tears, his face puffy having cried for hours through the night.

“I just needed you” You gently your fingers through his hair trying to calm him down.

“I-I said shit I never should have said baby, I’m sorry. M’sorry sweet girl”

“Why did you say those things” you whisper, your voice still hoarse.

“I’m so sorry angel, I- there’s not excuse, I’m sorry I was so selfish doll”

You nod, still feeling drained though a part of you feels better. You hadn’t fully forgiven him yet but you knew he meant every word plus there was no one else in the world you loved as much as him. He thinks about the way he mistreated you, realizing he really didn’t deserve your forgiveness at all. Your words replay in his head and his breaths become shallow.

“Do-do you not love me anymore?” His voice is a broken whisper. You knew you didn’t mean it. The thought nearly kills him. He would have gone through hydra again over ever losing your love. Your thumb brushes over his lips silencing him.

“Please don’t say you don’t love me” He nuzzles himself further into your side, hugging you tightly, his voice a whimper. “Please, I’m sorry”

“I was just angry Bucky. I love you” He calms down slightly but hes still on edge with himself. He wants to do better. He wants to take care of you. You had been there through everything for him and you deserved the same love a thousand times over.

“I promise I’ll try harder angel”

He stays true to his word.

It doesn’t resolve overnight.

But he learns. And so do you.

He’s patient with you. He gives you endless love. He has his own hard days, and so do you but your by each others side through it all. He sees your sparkle return brighter than ever,

Because he really does love you.

Tags:

@glxwingrxse @hungryyeyess @sebsgirl71479 @beabutterfly987 @teambarnes72 @witchywhore @jamesbuckybarneswify @slutforsexyseabass @chrisdrysdale @littlemarvelmenfan @buggy14 @whimsyplaty92 @sergntbarnes @inkedaztec @pono-pura-vida @moonlightreader649 @brooklynscherry-z @elle14-blog1 @justsebstan @littlelightnings @psychomanniac-blog @happyt0exist @emmabarnes @bethyruth @matchat3a @cjand10 @getwellsoontana @cherryschaos @lokisasgardianvampirequeen @ashenc-blog @buckybarnessimpp @potatothots @goldylions @high-functioning-lokipath @morganemorganite-blog @kingfleury @peaches1958 @spiderman-stilinski @peaceinourtime82 @gublur @wintersmelodie @geeky-politics-46 @lolawassad @almosttoopizza @a-poor-gryffindork @alternativeprincess @buckycallsmeaslut @kamaria-sweet-writes @charmedbysarge @xnorthstar3x @kryoee7 @alina02 @gh0stgurl @polishprincess999 @jessybarnes @carrotfantasimp

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the-fluff-piece · 11 months

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OMGG CONGRATS ON YOUR 200 FOLLOWERS, I LOVE YOU TOO 🥺😭💖

so... I have a really low self-esteem and my mind always makes me think I'm unworthy or don't deserve a lot of things I have in life

that being said, could I request prompt 1- sweet/ cozy with Ace? Pretty please? (the thought of him putting his hat on our heads makes me feel so warm inside 🥺 can you maybe include this, please?)

again, congratulations on your milestone, I love you & your writing and i'll be here to accompany you on this journey 🥰💖

Hello my dearest, you're the best 🥺 I am so happy that you're still here, you're so precious (I'm not crying, you're crying 😭)

So I hope you like this story, I tried to make it positive and uplifting

This is part of my follower milestone event

Here's

Love sick

You've been with the whitebeard pirates for quite some time now and your secret crush for Ace is growing constantly- until something needs to be done!

This is pure sfw heartwarming superfluff about Ace being super supportive and taking care of a super anxious and shy gender neutral reader

At this point, it was an open secret everyone knew about, except Ace. Every time you saw him you froze, everytime you tried to talk to him your voice gave out, everyone with half a brain cell could see that you loved him, except Ace. There is still a debate what that makes him intellectually.

You've come to a point when your crush turned from delicious butterflies in your stomach to a painful hum of constant anxiety in your head. The idea that he would never see you, never return your feelings and probably end up with a much better girl was so excruciating to you, it was making it hard to sleep or eat. Or concentrate. It became so bad that one day, you found yourself being pushed into Marco's office because you fell asleep at your post. You where sitting there miserably while he did some superficial examinations and asking question about your symptoms.

"Have you lost your appetite?" He asked.

"Not really" you lied. He didn't need to know that.

"I'm gonna add denial to your symptoms because just from looking at you I can tell you lost weight."

"Uhm...ok" you conceded. Maybe, you still felt too fat though.

"You know Ace is a nice guy" Marco stated matter of factly.

You got dizzy from the sudden rise in blood pressure this name caused.

"I know that!" You squeaked.

"Than why are you acting like telling him how you feel is dangerous? Even if he didn't return your feelings, he'd be super chill about it." Marco said with his usual calm expression, while you were almost fainting from embarrassment. "Yeah, everyone knows, don't panic." Sitting down at his desk he added "that's my counsel to improve your health: talk to Ace. Tell him how you feel. Get drunk if it helps you." He turned around, telling you that this appointment was over.

With a head as red as a a tomato and swaying a bit from all the heart racing you got out of Marco's office and had to sit down for a second.

"Hey Y/n!" A familiar voice greeted you. Sick to your stomach, you turned around, saying "goodbye" to Ace before you realized you took the wrong greeting again. You told him good night in the morning and once you even wished him happy birthday at lunch.

As usual, Ace laughed loudly, throwing his head back. Just seeing his freckles in the sunlight was heartbreaking.

"Your so funny" he chuckled and paused, looking from you to Marco's office.

"Are you sick? You look a bit feverish!" He noted, coming nearer and looking you straight in the face, studying you. You were torn between looking away because you were looking like a complete mess and staring at his handsome face. Your eyes decided to look both ways at the same time, giving you a headache. You closed your eyes and prayed that Ace would just leave so you wouldn't embarrass yourself even more.

He didn't leave. Instead, you felt a warm hand on your forehead and his voice near your face "your temperature is a bit high. Did you see Marco?" Ace asked with concern.

"See him just I did" you mumbled(grammatically wrong) and risked a peek at Ace, who looked really worried.

To your horror, he sat down next to you.

"Man, being sick sucks! Just let me know if I can do anything for you." He said, looking at you as you tried to vanish. He shouldn't see how absolutely messy and horrible you looked.

"Nothing" you managed to say.

"Y/n, you always play so tough but it's okay to ask for help. We are a crew after all!" His excitement whenever he talked about the whitebeard pirates was so cute, you had to smile, wishing you could talk to him the same way.

"You know what? Here's something to remind you that you're never alone here!" He said with the broadest, most adorable smile that almost made you melt - and put his hat on your head. It was a bit too wide and slid over your eyes and you quickly adjusted it. It smelled like leather and campfire - Ace's scent.

"Damn!" Ace whistled. "Looks better on you than on me. I guess it's your hat now."

He was so nice, even if it was lie to make you feel better.

"That's not true" you said and had to laugh a bit.

"You know it's a shame we never get to talk to each other like this, you're always so busy! How about you just lie down and rest and I bring you dinner and keep you company later."

"Wha- wha-?" You stutter.

"You heard me, I'll bring you some soup later!" He said as he left, waving.

"You promise me you'll rest!" He added.

Your knees were butter and you just stayed put, trying to catch your breath.

"Wow, just like that you have a date?" Marco commented, having witnessed the whole strange exchange.

"No!" You snapped.

"I thought you wanted this...?" He asked.

"Yes! I mean no, I mean this isn't a date!" With once again solid knees you got up and turned to get back to your post.

"Where do you think you're going?" Marco asked, a brow raised.

"Back to work." You answered.

"I don't think so. Your commanding officer just ordered you to rest in your bed and wait for him." He said with a "checkmate" expression on his face.

You would never disobey a direct order, so you went back to your room, clutching Ace's hat to your chest and prayed he would just forget his promise.

He didn't.

After waiting anxiously for a few hours, you heard him come. You were already so attuned to his steps and looks that you could always detect his presence.

He didn't bother knocking, he just shouted: "Soup coming!" And already opened the door with his foot.

"Hot and healthy! And tasty of course!" He announced with a wide grin, holding a tablet with soup, some bread and a spoon in one hand like an expert waiter. He looked at you - and frowned. You were sure he just noticed what a wreck you were. Instead he said: "you're not wearing comfy pajamas! Don't you know anything about being sick?" He sounded like it was common knowledge.

"I am not feeling that bad..." you explained.

"Marco told me you were feeling really bad! So it must be true." He stated. You felt the panic rise in your throat - what else did Marco tell him?

Your anxiety levels rose once again when he sat down next to you on your bed and put the tablet on your nightstand, you've never been that near to him. Unconsciously, you clutched his hat to your chest like a shield.

"Hats go on your head, silly!" He said playfully and put it back on your head.

"And now open up" he ordered as he lifted a full spoon in front of your face while holding his other hand underneath it to catch any drops.

"I can eat by myself!" You told him a bit more sharply than intended and immediately regretted it. Ace laughed.

"They told me that you have spunk! But orders are orders" he said with a sinister expression. Marco taught him that, too, you bet. But he was right, orders were orders and you opened your mouth. Ace was surprisingly careful.

"You know, you can take a break from time time" he began in a casual tone while feeding you. You barely tasted the soup, being cared for by Ace was taking up all your available attention. He continued talking calmly:

"I see how hard you work each day, that you're always thinking ahead, keeping an eye on things. All I want to say is: being a pirate also means to have fun once in a while. You're pushing yourself so hard, and I bet you're struggling, too. You need to enjoy yourself once in a while. Or let others help you." His concern was so sweet and genuine, it almost made you cry.

"You know you deserve it." He ended and looked at you. "And I'm glad you let me help you. I know sometimes, that's hard. In that regard, you remind me of someone. He also puts others first when they need help, an he does absolutely everything to help everyone, even people that hurt him. And like him, you're very strong" he said and seemed to remember someone dear to him.

"You feeling better now?" He asked, suddenly back in the moment.

You nod.

"Great! Marco said when you've had some soup I should give you this" he said cheerfully and produced a small flask from his satchel.

"It's medicine." He held out the small, unmarked bottle. You opened it and immediately smelled your favourite booze. That dog! You hesitated and looked at the flask.

"He said it's crucial."

"I bet" your voice was so dry you were surprised you didn't spew dust. There was an evil plot against you led by Marco. If you were in a position to do so you would pay it back to him.

"Less scowling more drinking" Ace said, ripping you from your thoughts of dark conspiracies against your love life (or absence thereof). It was just a small flask, you drank it in a few sips, already feeling it going to your head. Maybe you were indeed sick.

Ace sat at your side and was smiling widely, watching you like he expected a present. Remembering Marco's words, this was probably a message that it was time to confess. You were a little afraid that he would take matters into his own hands if you didn't tell Ace here and now.

Everything inside of you was fighting against it. He wouldn't like you back. This would hurt. Everyone would laugh at you for weeks. You tried thinking about it like a band aid, it needed to be ripped off swiftly to avoid long stretched pain. It was also the most dignified way to make it public.

"Thank you for taking care of me, but I am not sick. I just..." your voice is being a coward again, but you press on while Ace is waiting patiently. "I was just really stressed and nervous today because I.." your throat was dry and it felt like your heart was besting sk hard that it was shaking your whole body.

"I love you" you whisper. And add "I'm sorry".

Ace didn't flinch or look surprised.

"I know" he whispered back. "Don't ever be sorry for your feelings. And don't be afraid. You know it pays to be brave sometimes." His low voice was hard to understand over the beating of your heart. You felt his hot breath on your hear as he moved closer and planted a soft kiss on your hair. His hand moved to stroke the side of your face with his fingers.

"I love you, too. And I am proud that you told me first." He said softly while his fingers moved underneath your chin to lift your head up.

"I'm just afraid I'm not a great kisser." He said, chuckling.

"Me neither" you answer.

Still, just feeling his lips on yours for the first time was the greatest thing ever.

________

#one piece fanfiction #one piece x you #portgas ace x you #ace x reader #portgas ace x reader #ace x y/n #portgas d ace #ace x you #one piece fanfic #one piece ace #gender neutral reader

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jasontoddssuper · 10 months

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Ayo!?? Spidersona!? 👀🌟can you tell me more about Nora?

I'd love to!!!Tysm Clover,i was hoping you'd ask💖💜

So his full name is Nora Morales!!Not Miles' bio sister since while i am afrolatino like Miles,i'm half white while he's fully black so he's adopted!Specifically Jefferson and Rio took him in as a teen when he was living on the streets after his birth parents kicked him out for being trans(specifically transmasc genderfluid and bigender).His new family loves and supports him very much and vice versa!!

His base design is pretty much me but with long hair!Meaning he has a big nose,light brown skin,black hair that's naturally curly and is short!His aesthetic/style is 'pastel gamer' and once he gets character development by becoming Spiderwoman,becomes pastel punk too!!He always had the mentality of a punk but wasn't confident enough to dress the part just yet(also because i hate copganda,Jefferson is a househusband in his verse so he's allowed to go to riots and such)

Personality wise,he's super bubbly,kind,sweet and goofy but very insecure due to his trauma and never going to college due to his neurodivergence(autism,adhd,anxiety and mdd)making school too hard for him even though Miles has almost all the same disorders and is a star student and he feels like a failure in comparison to him.BUT he's a great older brother to him and never ever takes it out on him!!They're best friends in addition to being adoptive siblings <3 And Miles actually looks up to Nora tons and used to vocalize it a lot when he was little but stopped slowly as he got older,which was upsetting for him because he thought he didn't see him as cool anymore and there's a scene in Itsv where Miles tells him he never stopped thinking he was 'The most awesome big sibling ever' and Nora cries so they hug tenderly in comfort♡

He works at the same diner that closed down in Peter B's dimension!!As in his and Miles' version of it^

Like i said in my last ask,his love interests are Peter B and MJ and they're a polycule!!In the first movie,him and Peter B bickered a lot due to the whole 'pessimist and optimist' thing but were nonetheless nice to eachother and were crushing by the end.They're actually the official couple in Atsv instead of Miles and Gwen!!By that i mean Peter B comes with Gwen on her mission to Miles' dimension and the four are the mcs like in the first movie!!There's a scene in Atsv where Nora goes to visit MJ with Peter B and they're still just exes and friends but only because he's also in love with him and didn't make her feel like a second choice!The girls hit it off and once Btsv comes out,i will absolutely give them a getting together story in it(all three of them)and i'm super excited to!!!♡

His spider motif is the purple jumping spider so his unique Spiderperson power is jumping and his costume is purple and white with a cat ears hood,a white heart on the chest and some punk parts like spikes on the shoulders!

He's the big sister/mom figure of the Spiderfam kids and easily the adult Spiderman they trust the most!Hobie especially was happy to have another punk around

Whooped Miguel's ass for picking on Miles and Miguelito's ego was bruised big time LMAOOOOOO

That's pretty much all for now but i'll tell you if he gets more lore!!

#lovelyheartclover #nora morales #spiderwoman #miles morales #nora and miles #the morales siblings #peter b parker #mj watson #peternoramj #hobie brown #nora and hobie #miguel and nora #spiderverse #atsv spoilers #spiderman #real self shipping hours #askxaquestion

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bradshawsbaby · 3 months

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Hi sweetheart💖, I read your post about your love life, i know this is not a soft thought but I want to tell you that I understand you very well. Personally, I haven't been very lucky when it comes to my love life. I had planned (as much as these things can be planned😂) when I was younger to get married around 23 and start having children around 24/25 since I would like to have a large family. And instead, at the age of 26, I find myself single again, with great uncertainty regarding my ability to have children. Needless to say how much I suffered from this and how many days I really feel as if I were destined to remain alone. I often felt like I was a failure, like I hadn't succeeded in my goals or worse I felt like I was behind others. But I understood that everyone has their own path and times. I understood that I don't have to compare myself to anyone because everyone has had and had their own experiences and their own life path which is unique for everyone. There is no right or wrong age to find your person. There are some who find it in high school, others find it at 30 and still others later. My mom always told me that the right person is out there that he's just waiting for the right time to meet us and that when we meet him we'll know right away if he's the one for us (my mom is a super romantic, but honestly if I think about how she met my dad and their story I believe her even more). As an incurable romantic as I am, I don't lose hope that things can change for the better from one day to the next and I rely on the saying that just when you least expect it, you find love! So I think we have to make ourselves strong, that it's okay to feel a little down and a little more lonely some days but remember that there are people who love us and that we must never forget our value or lower our standards for anyone! Always remember how much you are worth, to love yourself and not to be too hard on yourself but rather to live every day to the fullest and seek happiness in the little things. Also because, as they say, a positive mind attracts energy and positive things! I don't know if I managed to cheer you up a little or if I did worse😂 but as you already know if you feel like it you can always contact me so we can console and support each other! And remember to never lose hope, we too will one day find our Bradley Bradshaw (or our Bob, or Jake, whoever we dream of)💗✨

Oh, Fab, you’re so sweet! 🥹🫶🏻

I know we all go through these periods of ups and downs. Like you, I always envisioned an age when I would get married and an age when I would start having children. And it can be really sad and painful when you reach those ages and feel like you don’t have anything to show for it, or that you’re not where you wanted to be at that point in your life.

I’m trying really hard to stay positive and to trust that the guy for me is out there. I just honestly hope he’s not on these dating apps 😅 We just have to keep hoping! Our dream men are somewhere, and hopefully they’re searching for us, too!

#sweet message ♥️

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cartmankisser · 2 years

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Hii could I possibly rq hcs abt Kyle, butters, and Jimmy with an s/o whos usually chill but easily gets nervous while overthinking about things? Sorry if it’s too vague u can specify it a bit more if u want HAHA

no no don't worry this is good!! and also i'm sorry this took me a good minute to get to

...i'm a bit overwhelmed with the amount of requests i have 😅😅

reblogs > likes

kyle is not the best at comforting you. i mean he tries but,, he's usually overly analytical and logical with most of his problems, so that's why he has a hard time comforting you!!

he has a bad habit of trying to fix whatever is making you upset instead of trying to help you calm down. he really does mean for the best!! he's just,, not very good at emotions!! he just wants to make it better for you!! so beyond that?? he's not the best at comforting, but he'll let you cry on his shoulder if that's what you need

butters can definitely relate!! he knows what it feels like to snowball small things into what seems like the ends of the world!! to constantly be walking on eggshells!! so he's definitely more understanding than kyle is. but even then, he's not very smart when it comes to calming you down,,,,

he'd try to distract you from what's making you stressed! he'd take you to get froyo, walk in the park, play on the swings, listen to music, like anything he can think of to distract you! he's trying his very best and it's super sweet, but it would probably be very overwhelming,,,,,

i feel like jimmy is the smartest out of the three when it comes to emotions. he's always going to support you, even if he thinks you're upset for a stupid reason (he'd never dare to tell you that though.) he's always there for you if you need to vent or if you want advice!

hes got a good talent when it comes to diffusing tense situation. from being a stand up comedian he knows how to make jokes quick!! he's more than happy to distract you from your thoughts with silly jokes and witty puns!! but still, he understands if you just want to cry it out instead

#JIMMYYYY 😭😭😭#south park x reader #kyle broflovski x reader #butters stotch x reader #jimmy valmer x reader #this is lowk ASS

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megantheestallion-ismypresident · 9 months

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The Originals ships opinions

( I feel like the way they found each other was really cute because even though keelin was held captive, you could tell that they still enjoy their time together. Their relationship moved really quickly but the way keelin stuck by Freya's side when she needed her the most was so nice because Freya really deserved it. One thing that really upset me about their relationship was how Freya was always self sabotaging it. She was always worried that she wasn't going enough, and she was putting her family's happiness above her own. Freya really deserved her happy ending with keelin and I'm really happy she got it. There relationship was based off of love and support and they were so mature to talk about things and get through things together instead of running away from it. I 💯 percent love them together and they were a good couple.

( y'all might get mad or offended over this one but it needs to be said. I think it's just me but I really did not care for their relationship. I feel like it was really rushed and we never saw them being happy together. They were always fighting for each other, and trying to save each other's lives. Like we hardly ever seen them get to be happy, we didn't get to see any moments of them hanging out being themselves. I do think that there love for each other was there. I just wishes we got to see a little more of a build up for it. I personally think Hayley was better with jackson. He just a very honest, sweet, and raw character. He was always there for Hayley and he never gave up on her even though he knew she was in love with someone else. I also found it a little weird that she was in love with Elijah because... imagine your hope, your mom is In love with your dad's brother who's your uncle. Overall I didn't hate their relationship I just really didn't care for it.)

( another unpopular opinion, I honestly have mixed feelings about their relationship. I think their a little toxic. I know part of the reason that they weren't happy was because Rebekah was always making excuses. And she just never allowed herself to be happy. It was extremely clear that they never lost feelings for each other. And they wasted alot of time. There realtionship reminded me of a toxic highschool first love, that's the best way I could describe it. But later in the season when Rebekah had the darkness inside of her and Marcel didn't care and he proposed it was cute. I'm happy that Rebekah is happy because Rebekah deserves it more than anyone in the world.)

( y'all might get mad, but I wasn't a big fan of kol and Davina. Kol is literally a thousand years old and Davina was only 16 or 17 when they first started dating. And yes I know I was shipping huge age gaps but at the same time atleast Camille and keelin were adults not minors when they were dating a thousand year old vampires. I feel like their love story was a bit rushed. Yeah we saw them spend time together, but st the same time I feel they fell for each other because Davina had no life and she was locked up in that church for a long time and she was never able to talk to anyone or have a boyfriend. So she fell really easily. And kol fell in love probably because no one ever cared for him the way Davina did, no one fought for him or for his love the way she did.)

( i have to admit in tvd I was all for klaroline. But when I first watch the originals, I liked Camille and Klaus so much more. I feel like Camille really changed Klaus for the better. She helped navigate through his past traumas and gave him an understanding of why he is the way he is. I really though it was super sweet how klaus kept her as his safe haven going through something crazy. Camille really didn't deserve to be turned to a vampire and I wished she would've made it through so they could be endgame.)

#the originals #hayley and elijah #Camille and Klaus #kol and davina #Marcel and Rebekah #Freya and keelin

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dojae-huh · 1 year

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me again! i didnt realize this was a NCT blog lol. ill put a [number] so you know its my ask! anyway what stands out to me of your reply are 2 points: 1) ty being in love with do, 2) jae being jealous of ty. why would jae be jealous of ty? there is no reason for it. in no aspect ty and do are each other's types (to pick for a relationship). physically and in personality. [1]

from do's pov: ty and jae are handsome but they are very different people. do fell and picked jae, so do falling for ty makes no sense. if that were to happen, he would have fallen for ty bc ty was there all along. but they never fell in love bc they just arent each other's types. dotae aren't into each other romantically. [2]

jae's pov: the guy he loves picked him. jae knows ty very well and knows better than us how different they are. i know jealousy is irrational but jae would need to be super out of his mind to feel threatened by ty, the guy who was always there and do could have easily fallen in love with. plus he knows ty's boyfriend so why would he feel threatened by ty? when ty is not do's type and loves someone else. [3]

from ty's pov: he was never into jaedo romantically. never fell for any of them. his type is another. he pursued his own relationship while jaedo did their thing. his songs are about this person. whiplash is about a loser struggling to admit his feelings to his loved one. im sorry to the ones that think whiplash is meant literally (it's not. this fandom is so silly). "im very soft and im a loser who has a girlish vibe"/"tell me honestly, i need better coffee more than sweet candy." [4]

whiplash actually a super romantic song of monogamous devotion which is a common theme in ty's love lyrics. "i think im falling in you, deeply and slowly, dont know what im doing, dont have a clue". his subject of desire is always referred to as his muse, model (monroe), as made for him, in many of his lyrics. it's all about one person. his boyfriend. [5]

--------------------

I'm sorry, anon, I asked for supportive evidence to your cause (Tae is gay and is in love with Ten) and got none?

The lyrics could be interpreted in different ways. It is easy to persuade oneself that your reading is the right one. Please provide something of more substance. Remarks in interviews/lives, "sus" TenTae moments, neos' reactions upon mentioning of the two, neos' making gay jokes at Tae's expense (like Woo did during the massage of Do). The ship was brought to discussion long time ago here, so I did watch TaeTen bts things to check, didn't see any signs of "passionately in love, he is the one, the muse!". That photo frame was a long time ago. And yet Taeyong is still not at a happy place.

The point of jealousy is that it's irrational. Jaehyun once took Jeno's hand off Doyoung's shoulder and later was perplexed with himself "what came over me?". Jaehyun was jealous of Taeyong for a long time, they spent a year or two sorting their shit. Why would Jae quarrel with Tae if he was sure his best friend Ten has Tae's heart instead of celebrating the couple? Why would Doyoung not sort out his beef with Ten considering it would make his beastie Tae happy?

#ask me away #taeyong is the boss

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mehidktbh · 2 years

Note

Okay okay okay I’m back and this request is kiiiiinnnndaaa similar to the other one in a way but like also different sorta.

How about the same three boys (my favorite angels💕) Tommy, Jason, and RZ Mikey with a reader who is just not strong. I lost my muscle and am now just generally a physically weak person. When I think about the big strong slashers, I lowkey kinda like feeling weak bc they’re just so large and I’m kinda sorta rly submissive (as previously mentioned lmao😳)…

Like how would they react to a weak reader who lowkey likes that the slashers are so much stronger. It could be playful wrestling matches, them just showing off, anything honestly.

I loved your last one so so much and again, take as much time as you need and pls don’t overwhelm yourself because I totally get it! Thank you so much💕

A/N: Omg yes! I can relate so much, I just want a strong man in my life. Is that too much to ask for :( But thank you sm!! You are so sweet and I always cry when you request stuff, you are too kind!

THOMAS HEWITT

- He adores you...

- No joke.

- But come on how can he not, we all know Thomas will love you either way!

- He is into anyone and all body types so when he sees that you don't have that much muscle this man is falling head over heels for you. You're so cute and he is definitely protective over you, keeping you away from any victims or his family. He knows how his family can act and feed on the vulnerable and we all know Thomas would rather die than see that.

- Though if you're thinking about hoping to get your muscles up, good luck. Unless you actually talk to Thomas and tell him that you want to be more muscle he probably won't let you carry anything heavy. Your carrying plates? Nope, it's his now, Picking up something that's heavy and you're bending your back a little bit too much? NO! Didn't you know how much that could hurt you Y/N!? Shame on you >:(

- Also you can't tell me this man wouldn't give you piggyback rides 24/7! Or carry you around all day.

- if you want to do playful wrestling matches with him he is so down. I mean he always goes soft at you, but in the end, he'll let you win and always exaggerate how exhausted he is, just to get his point across on how you won the game fair and square.

JASON VOORHEES

- *Cough* Size kink? *Cough*

- Jason all very much adores you, I mean who wouldn't.

- Through I think Jason would also maybe let you exercise, you know... Gotta keep that muscle up now Y/N! Through can you imagine waking up early just to go outside in the freezing cold while Jason hands you a bunch of logs to do wights with. SO CUTE!

- I mean Jason would be your personal coach, he cheers you on from the side and encourages you to keep going. But also making sure to force enough water down your throat, gotta stay hydrated.

- But then again Jason also doesn't mind if you don't want to excise, he is happy with the way you are now. He's like Thomas, he will love you no matter how you look.

- If you ever bring up about playful wrestling matches he'll be nervous at first but agree after some time. And when you finally get to play he's just standing/sitting there waiting for you to make the first move. And he'll also be extremely soft, and also let you win every game :)

- He'll also make sure you're eating enough food, plenty of greens and iron in there. Through some times he will need his mother's help and others he'll let you lead.

RZ MICHAEL MYERS

- Omg the thought of him lined up against your body, he is amazed.

- Michael is super caring and supportive of you, he is always happy coming home to your caring face and warm hugs. He'll always pick you up no breeze and maybe swing around a little.

- He would never really make you work out just to get your muscles up, you look perfect and an angel the way you are now. Why change that? If you are really into getting your muscles up and stuff, Michael would be more than happy to help you or instead watch intensely at the gym as you work out instead.

- He'll make sure you eat right and always have enough iron in your food. Through he knows your more than okay to keep up with feeding yourself.

- And if you ever bring up wanting to have some playful wrestling matches with him, he'll say yes! Michael wouldn't be ruff but he wouldn't be so soft either, his man won't push your limits but he will know much he respects you as a human by making sure he doesn't go too soft on you.

- And if you like your matches ruff then oh God, your in for a ride with him. He'll happily let himself win some matches much too your complaining and sometimes he'll let you win.

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sergeantbuckybarnes · 3 years

Text

everything i wanted // bucky barnes

Summary: Bucky asks you to pick Rebecca from school, as you spend the day with her, you can’t help to think that this is what you want, for the rest of your life.

Pairing: Chubby!Bucky x Reader (Single Parent AU)

Word count: 1.4k

Warnings: fluff, so much fluff

A/N: As always, remember English is not my first language. Also, thanks to @coffee-books-music for proofreading this!

You can consider this as a part two of begin again.

And tagging @buckys-estrella because you asked me to!

divider by @firefly-graphics

wanna be added to my permanent taglist? here

main masterlist

You were in front of the Brooklyn Elementary School waiting for Rebecca, your boyfriend’s daughter. Bucky had called you and told you that something came up at the workshop and he couldn’t pick Becca from school, so he asked you if you could do it. You didn’t mind, you and Bucky had been dating for a while now, since the day you saw him at the diner waiting for a date that never showed up and you decided to be his date instead everything had been perfect.

You met Rebecca a couple of months later. At first, you were nervous, thoughts of her not liking you plagued your mind but Bucky always reassured you that she was going to love you. And he was right. The little girl was delighted with you.

The three of you did a lot of things together, you went to the zoo, to the movies… Bucky couldn’t help himself think that this is how things should have been with Dot. He knew he was a good father and Rebecca loved him a lot but he also knew his little girl needed a mother figure, that’s why he kept going on those dates. He couldn’t believe how lucky he was to have met you, someone that not only loved him but loved his daughter too.

The bell sounded, announcing the end of the classes for the day. They pushed the front doors of the building open, and you observed kids running out, excited that school was finally over. Your eyes caught the little brunette, she was peacefully walking with a blonde kid beside her.

“Becca!” you tried to catch her attention when you saw she was looking around looking for her father. When her eyes landed on you, a big smile grew on her face.

“Who’s that, Bec?” asked the boy who was still beside her.

“That’s my mom,” Rebecca replied, and with that she ran towards you without bidding goodbye to her friend. You picked her up in your arms, her little arms wrapped around your neck.

You asked, “Had fun at school?” She furiously nodded as she rambled on about what she had done, “…and Miss Larson asked a super hard question and I was the only one who knew the answer.”

“That’s my girl,” you high-fived with her as she laughed.

“Why did you come today?” she asked, tilting her face.

“Your dad is busy at work, so he’s gonna come home late.”

“So you’re gonna stay with me then?” she asked, hope and excitement clear in her voice.

You just nodded and she let a victorious sound escape her mouth. You laughed putting her on the ground and grabbed her tiny hand in yours. “Ready to go home?”

It was late at night when Bucky came home, when he noticed you weren’t in the living room he made his way upstairs to see the adorable image of you and Becca sitting on her bed, his daughter between your legs while you brushed her hair.

Neither of you had noticed his presence yet, he smiled at the view in front of him, how comfortable you were with each other, it was so natural. The thought of coming home every day to this filled his heart with warmth.

Knock Knock

“Daddy!” Rebecca screamed when she saw her father on the doorstep of her room, but she didn’t run and jump into his arms like she would normally do.

“What? No hug today?” Bucky pouted, which made his little girl giggle.

Rebecca pinched her nose with her fingers “You stink, daddy!”

Bucky gasped with fake offense and averted his gaze to you for support, only to receive a “Don’t look at me, Becca is right.”

Your boyfriend raised his hands in surrender. “Alright, I’ll take a shower, but you, young lady, are going to sleep now,” he said, pointing his index finger towards his daughter.

“But Y/N is brushing my hair!” she whined.

“She can brush your hair another day. You’ve got to wake up early for school tomorrow,”

Rebecca looked up at you, “Can you read to me?”

“Honey, I bet Y/N is tir-” But you didn’t let your boyfriend finish his sentence. “I don’t mind.”

“Yaaay,” the little girl screamed happily. She got up from the bed and ran to get a book.

Your boyfriend gave you a “Are you sure?” look.

“It’s okay,” you reassured him, “You go shower.” Bucky nodded and left the room as Rebecca crawled back to bed and handed you a book.

She got under the covers, and you lied beside her, opening the book and started reading. “The little prince. Oh, I love this one.”

Once Rebecca finally fell asleep, you gave her a soft kiss on her forehead and made your way downstairs. Your boyfriend had finished his shower just a few minutes ago, his hair still damp.

“She’s asleep?” he inquired, his arms wrapped around your figure. You buried your face in the crook of his neck, taking in the scent of sandalwood and bergamot. You hummed in response. “Thank you for today.” At this you pulled away from him, looking at his soft features.

“It’s not a problem. You know I love spending time with her.”

“I know. And I love you for that,” he caressed your face and pulled you in again. Joining his lips with yours, your hands reached the back of his neck and you tangled your fingers into his wet hair, earning a low moan from him. You smiled into the kiss, giving him a last peck before pulling apart.

You both sat on the couch, your head resting on Bucky’s shoulder and one of your hands on his round belly, drawing patterns with your fingers. He had one arm safely around you. As you were telling him your day with Becca, he noticed that in the tone of your voice, there was something bothering you in the back of your mind.

“Hey,” he gently grabbed your chin with his free hand and made you look at him. “What’s wrong?”

You licked your lips, a habit you had developed years ago and something you always did when you were nervous. You could feel Bucky’s eyes piercing into yours. A worried expression etched on his features. “Did Becca say something to you?”

You shook your head. Swallowing hard, you tried to find the right words, not wanting your boyfriend to misinterpret what you wanted to convey. “It’s just… today, when I went to pick Becca from school, there was this kid with her and when he asked her who I was, she said that...she said that I was her mom,” You weren’t bothered or mad about the little girl referring to you as her mother but to say it didn’t shock you when you heard the words leave her mouth. Especially because it was the first time she did it.

You loved Rebecca the minute you met her; she was an adorable kid, and you of course you had thought about spending time with Bucky and her for the rest of your life, but you didn’t know if that wasn’t something she wanted, if it was something Bucky wanted. So when you heard the little girl refer to you as her mom, something fluttered inside you.

“Did she?” You could see the slight surprise on his face, but still a large smile grew on Bucky’s face and you felt like you could sigh in relief. He didn’t seem to be bothered by it. Quite the opposite, actually. “How do you feel about it?”

“I- I really liked it,” you shyly admitted, a matching smile growing on your face.

“Yeah?” he asked again. He just needed to be sure, the smile never leaving his face.

“Yeah,” you laughed happily. Bucky caressed your cheek with his thumb, and shifted your position on the sofa a little, to have better access to your lips. It was soft and sweet, nothing in the world existed but you two, you could feel fireworks exploding inside of you. Kissing Bucky always felt special and magical, but this kiss had something different, something you couldn’t explain with words.

“Every time I’m with you, there’s no other place I’d rather be. You are my world, my everything, and I’d love to do nothing more than make you happy. Becca loves you, and she could never have a better mom than you. I love you, Y/N, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. So I’m asking...will you marry me?”

#chubby!bucky #bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes one shot #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes fanfic #sebastian stan #sebastian stan x reader #sebastian stan imagine

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bitsandbobsofwriting · 3 years

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BBC Merlin Recs!!

Someone asked me for Merthur recs a while ago, so I figured I'd start a list of various BBC Merlin fics I love!!

These are various different ships and friendships, I've tried to keep a little variety, though almost all of them are canon era (there are only a few that aren’t) 😁 Non of them are ridiculously graphic in terms of smut, but there may be the occasional small bits and pieces. Some have very hefty trigger warnings. Always read the tags, kids.

❤=Absolute Faves

❤5 times Merlin helped Leon through a nightmare (+1 time Leon helped Merlin through his own) OK so I absolutely ADORE this, it's one of my all time favourite BBC Merlin fics, and it's about the growing friendship between Leon and Merlin. There are no romantic ships at the forefront of this, but it's just written really beautifully and I really really Love it (around 9k)

Hot Summer Night MERTHUR!! Some good old pining, Merlin being weirdly confident, all pure fluff and I'm HERE for it (around 2k)

Trial of the Senses MERTHUR!! Merlin is Mega Pining and Oblivious, kinda angsty but only because Merlin is stupid, super fluffy ending (around 3k)

❤The one where Arthur finds out exactly why Merlin is such a bad Manservant MERTHUR except it's more platonic (but read it how you want I suppose). Arthur stands up for Merlin when he finds out Merlin is so shit at his job because he's never been trained or anything. He shouts at the steward on Merlin's behalf (around 3k)

Possessed by Emrys MERCALOT and ARWEN!! Ok so this is one of the funniest ones I've read in aaaaages. In which, to be able to use magic in front of people, Merlin and Gaius tell Arthur of a "spirit" named Emrys who possesses people to use magic and save everyone. Hijinks occur, in which EVERYONE uses "I've been possessed by Emrys I must go" as an excuse to get out of things. Arthur is very stupid until he's not. The whole thing is just... really funny (almost 15k)

Into the Stars MERTHUR!! Arthur is pining and very stupid, so when he finds out that Merlin loves the stars, he spends HOURS teaching himself about them, so he has something to talk to Merlin about, instead of just.... telling him how he feels. I love this, it's so cute (almost 5k)

Worthy MERTHUR really angsty but with a happy ending. Merlin doesn't think he's worth Arthur's affections, Arthur proves him wrong (350 words. Short and sweet)

King's Orders Platonic Gwen/Arthur/Gwaine/Merlin. Merlin's closest friends stage an intervention because they're worried about his alcoholism. Merlin has to sit there and listen to his friends tell him they love and support him whilst trying not to laugh because.... he's been to the tavern maybe twice in his life. Bit of angst in the middle but mostly it's just funny (almost 8k)

After the Lamia Platonic between the knights and Merlin. All of them remember the way they treated Merlin whilst they were enchanted, and it's somehow angsty and fluffy at the same time because Merlin is still kinda freaked out, but the knights feel terrible and want to make it up to him (around 2k)

Keeping you from Harm MERTHUR!! Merlin gets hurt whilst protecting Arthur. Arthur worries a lot and there's a cute love confession and everyone's happy. Even the angsty bits aren't too sad, the whole thing is just really sweet (around 2k)

Ask No Questions More platonic Merthur. Merlin scar reveal (I LOVE scar reveal fics) and this one starts off funny and quickly descends to angst but with a happy/hopeful ending and I love that (almost 4k)

Catch MERTHUR!! Arthur keeps tryna propose and it keeps going wrong. Just really cute and fluffy and wholesome (around 8k) ALSO Hide Your Scars which is technically the first part to Catch, but they can be read separately with no issue. All about the knights finding out about Merlin's magic (and his multitude of scars) one by one, and helping him (12k)

Searching the Sun MERTHUR!! Yet another scar reveal fic, and also a magic reveal. The knights misunderstand Merlin's shyness, and think he might have been (TW) sexually assaulted. Sort of underlying angst but with a very lovely ending (around 5k)

Of Course I Care Platonic but pre-relationship/pining Merthur? Merlin suffers pretty badly from anxiety, and Arthur asks Lancelot how to help him, because he doesn't like seeing him in pain but doesn't know what to do. Cute ending, really sweet and I love it (around 3k)

❤Is This the Best You Can Do? Currently a set of two fics (they don't run directly on from each other, they're just both amazing) about the knights seeing how much of a BAMF Merlin is. He doesn't even use magic he's just really badass and keeps saving the day whilst the knights look on, dumbfounded (first is 2k, second is 6k)

Lace among the rocks MERWAINE!! Kinda angsty, very cute scar reveal, just Gwaine being loving and supportive and it's beautiful (around 1k)

To see you Smile MERCALOT and ARWEN!!! Super cute fixit fic in which Merlin semi-tricks the Cailleach, and saves Lancelot. It's just really cute and I love it (around 9k)

Our Story on Our Skin no romantic pairings, just platonic between everyone and Merlin. Yet ANOTHER scar (and subsequent magic) reveal except SUPER angsty this time. I just. Really love a Merlin scar reveal guys. BIG TW for self harm and suicidal Merlin, happy/hopeful ending (around 7k)

❤The Sacrifices You Make background Arwen, pre-Merwaine. Magic reveal has happened, but Arthur doesn't know about the whole destiny/prophecy/Emrys thing. Evil sorcerer forces Merlin to show all his deepest, most private memories. Everyone, especially Arthur, is made aware of just how much Merlin has sacrificed without asking for anything in return. Really angsty, but happy ending (almost 10k)

❤ A Dragon’s Treasure MERTHUR!!! Super cute. Becoming Dragon Lord has some physical AND mental side-effects, Merlin sorta loves it, sorta hates it. I LOVE this one and it’s just really funny and sweet and cool (around 5k)

❤Knit up your cloak about you MERLIN/LEON!! It's a favourite rare-pair of mine. All from Arthur's perspective. He is struggling as a new King, and wants to bring his two closest friends and advisors together, because he thinks the three of them could do astounding things if they just start to understand each other properly. He finds he doesn't actually have to put that much work in as he watches their relationship develop. It's just really well written and I love it (around 6.7k)

The Court Sorcerer's New Clothes MERTHUR!! Merlin likes to embroider to de-stress and Arthur discovers this. It's just really sweet🥺 (around 2.1k)

Revelations MERWAINE!! Merlin wants to tell Gwaine the truth about his magic, but Gwaine freaks out because he thinks Merlin is about to dump him for Lancelot. A little angst, but mostly just fluff (around 2.1k)

Chasing Heat platonic Leon/Merlin/Arthur. The three of them have to huddle for warmth and Merlin really snuggles in whilst the other two are confused and basically just go "oh. I guess cuddles are happening." and go along with it. Super sweet (around 900 words)

❤The Stars Make Me Dream very brief Merwaine (fwb) but then MERTHUR!! Merlin goes blind after an attack from Morgana, and has to deal with it without anyone finding out. A fair amount of angst, but a lovely fluffy ending. It's just really sweet and I love it (around 20k)

❤Eight Days MERLIN/LEON Merlin has a secret admirer leaving gifts for him in the week leading up to a tournament. It's just really cute and sweet and fluffy all the way through, I love it (around 2.8k)

❤❤The Judgement of Sir Mordred I CAN NOT RAVE ABOUT THIS ENOUGH!! One of my all time favourite BBC Merlin fics!!! Merlin is a Very powerful (and not a very nice) God and Mordred recognises him. The whole thing is just.... so compelling and amazingly written. I can't say anything without giving too much away but godamn. I love it so much (around 2k and every word is perfect)

A Good Death Arthur kills Merlin accidentally at Camlann. The whole thing is super heartbreaking, there is no happy ending, angst all the way through, but it's so good😭 (around 3k)

Throwing Them Through Hoops Merlin makes a bet with a horrible knight that he can throw knives better than all of them. He succeeds. I just love it when Merlin is a BAMF but in non-magic ways (around 3k)

I've Lost Everything Merlin's magic is revealed and Arthur gets all pouty and whiny and tells Merlin that he doesn't know anything about loss. Merlin goes off on one and let's out a lot of pent up misery, to a speechless Arthur. The knights all side with Merlin, and he gives Arthur a choice. (around 3k)

❤A Considerable Headstart Background Arwen, Merlin has been acting odd, so the whole gang follow him into the woods where he meets with a visiting noble. A VERY long and disconcerting conversation is had, the Noble tries to kill Merlin, and then some Druids appear to help their Lord Emrys (after Merlin wins the fight) I don't really know how to describe it without giving it away, but it's amazing. From the Gang's perspective, all realising what Merlin goes through, how much of a BAMF he is, and just... what he is in general (around 14k)

❤Maybe The Hoard Is The Friends We Made Along The Way Dragons hoard things. As it turns out, Dragon-Lords do as well. Merlin discovers what his hoard is after realising that he fully panics if he goes one day without seeing everyone in the Gang at least once. Merlin has to find a way to cope with his... unusual, hoard. This is hilarious and fluffy and I LOVE it. Magic reveal also happens (around 7.7k)

❤❤This is Me Trying MERTHUR!! Arthur knows about Merlin's magic, established relationship. Super fluffy, sweet scar reveal, it's just really cute and🥺 (around 2.4k)

❤❤Did you know? Platonic between all the knights and Merlin!! The knights (including Arthur) confront Merlin about the way he's abused as a servant. It's all very teary and angsty when Merlin is genuinely confused as to why him being treated like that is a bad thing, and the knights realise it's been happening for years, and they've essentially encouraged/ignored it without realising. READ THE TWs!!! (Around 5.6k)

Emrys Smiled Post magic reveal, no pairings! Whilst visiting a foreign kingdom, Merlin punches knight to defend a child. He's brought before the court and a punishment is ordered. His identity as Emrys is revealed and everyone goes 😬 whilst Merlin and the gang go sorta😌. I love it. BAMF Merlin (around 4.4k)

Like Falling (When There's Someone Waiting to Catch You) MERTHUR!! Magic reveal where Arthur actually notices Merlin disappearing all the time, and follows him. Angsty and feelsy but also first kiss and happy ending. There's some like... REALLY vague, implied smut, can easily be skipped over. (Around 19k)

Come Back to Me, My Love MERCALOT!! Merlin kidnaps Shade!Lancelot and restores his proper soul. Angst but with a happy ending it's so sweet I love it🥺 (around 8.6k)

❤Over, Under, Around Through the Heart MERWAINE!! Braiding hair is a courting ritual in Ealdor. Gwaine has no idea about that when Merlin starts braiding his hair constantly, and frankly, Merlin wants it to stay that way so he can indulge in his little harmless fantasy. Except of course Gwaine figures it out. It's so cute and well written I'm in love with this (almost 5k)

You Love Me background Merwaine, but mostly focused on Elyan and Gwaine's friendship. ADHD Gwaine struggles with low self esteem and Elyan has a few things to say about that. I love it, it's so soft and sweet and wonderful (around 1.2k)

❤Merlin has an Irish King Cousin MERWAINELOT? (Merlin/Gwaine/Lancelot), literally what it says on the box. An Irish King arrives to meet with Arthur, and everyone is very surprised when Merlin and the King greet each other like old friends, and start spouting off a different language to each other. A little angst because Merlin was basically shunned by all bar his cousin for being a bastard, but other than that it's super sweet and lovely and kinda funny (around 5.5k)

❤❤The Moment I Said It MERDRED!! Look... normally I hate this ship, but this was so good. Merlin's magic is revealed and he's banished, but Arthur regrets his decision pretty quickly. He and the knights go looking for him so Arthur can at least let him explain his side of the story. In the mean time, Merlin has been captured and is being tortured rather horrifically by Morgana. LOTS of angst, psychological torture, but with a happy ending (around 43k)

❤If I Could Have My Time Again MERLYAN!! A rare pair!! I didn't know I liked this ship until I read it. Elyan and Merlin are captured by bandits together but only Merlin is tortured, because Elyan is worth more unharmed. Elyan finally acknowledges his feelings for the servant, and also discovers his magic. It's so cute and I LOVE this (around 2k)

A Love Story in Four Parts MERWAINE!!! So fluffy, low stakes, just four times Gwaine realised he was absolutely head over heels for Merlin, it's so cute (around 1k)

❤❤The Camelot Spymaster absolutely hilarious. Arthur had NO idea that several years previously he had assigned Merlin as the Spymaster. It all comes out when the gang are captured and Merlin goes "meh. We'll be fine. This is a situation #23" and everyone else goes "???" Arthur is endearingly STUPID in this, and I spent a lot of time looking for this when I couldn't find it again (around 1.7k)

Clumsy Only Goes So Far background Arwen. The servants all see how injured Merlin gets all the time, and think Arthur is the one constantly hurting him. Arthur and Merlin are oblivious to this, until Merlin gets REALLY badly hurt, and George kinda... goes off? In a very small, sarcastic, semi-respectful George kinda way? It's kinda angsty, kinda funny, I love anything where the servants are one big family tbh (around 2.7k)

❤The Burning Truth the gang are discussing whether magic should be legalised or not. Merlin is very tired and kind of sick of it all, so he starts with "My father was a sorcerer..." and then moves on to himself, whilst the gang all sit there feeling kinda guilty because half of them were just trash-talking magic. Lots of angst but with a happy ending (around 2.2k)

His Name is Merlin MERLYAN!! After the Lamia, everyone had come to apologise to Merlin bar Elyan. Merlin doesn't know why he's so upset by this, except Elyan does come eventually and there's some... feelsies going on. Slightly angsty but with a sweet ending. This is cute (around 2k)

The Talent Discrepancy MERTHUR!! Merlin has a lot of hidden talents! Just low stakes fluff with everyone in the gang realising how much of a BAMF Merlin is at various things. I basically love ANY fic in which Merlin can sing 🥺. The Merthur bit doesn’t happen until right at the end but it’s lovely and the last line is just 🤩 (around 4.6k)

❤❤I Can Dance and Play the Part MERTHUR!! Post magic reveal, Merlin and Arthur are married. Merlin suffers from chronic pain from all his old injuries, and he has a SUPER bad day. Arthur and Gaius look after him, and there are also some tender moments of friendship between Merlin and George as well (low-key one of my fave tropes is the servants all being besties) (around 3.5k)

You’ll find your way home (you always do) MERCALOT!! From Percival’s point of view when he and Lancelot are traveling together. Lancelot talks basically non-stop about some dude named Merlin, and Percy decides he must be a decent person, and is quietly respectful of Lance’s little infatuation. It’s such sweet pining (around 2.5k)

A Servant Resting On His King’s Legs MERTHUR!! Gaius walks into The King’s chambers to find Arthur working at his desk.... whilst Merlin works in his lap. Neither seem bothered about this, or the fact that Gaius has seen them, it’s whatever ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. Gaius is kinda baffled, it’s sweet (around 700 words)

Hold My Hand Pre-Merthur? Camelot is a huge culture shock for Merlin, and he struggles with anxiety. Feasts SUCK. Normally Gwen helps him through it, but she’s not there one night and Merlin didn’t even have time to prepare himself mentally. Arthur breaks out of his early days prattishness to help Merlin without question. It’s so soft I love this (around 3k)

❤❤Only Destiny Can Save Us Now MERTHUR!! The Gang (including Good!Morgana, Good!Mordred, and Gwen) are captured by a sorcerer looking for Emrys so he can steal his magic. Everything is outed when said sorcerer shows everyone what The Magicians (plus Lancelot and Kilgharrah) got up to last weekend (wiping out an entire army marching on Camelot single-handedly without breaking a sweat). Arthur is mad, and then Gay (around 5.7k)

Blackberries, Griffins and a Kiss For You MERCALOT!! Mostly from Gwaine’s point of view. A few of the knights are away and Lance is missing Merlin. Gwaine tries to figure out what the inside joke involving Griffins is, but ultimately leaves them to it and is happy for his besties. It’s so cute. It’s so sweet. Lots of fluff, no dramatics, just cuteness (around 2.5k)

❤❤❤The Hoard of a Pendragon MERTHUR!! Pendragons have just a touch of dragon blood in their veins. They have hoards, Uther chose to hoard Power, Arthur... well... Uther always told Arthur to NEVER hoard people, and Arthur has never been good at doing what he was told. Arthur hoards the people of Camelot, the people of Ealdor, his knights, and Merlin. I LOVE THIS SO MUCHHHH (around 2k)

no. Just.....no Merthur (but more pre if memory serves)!! Merlin’s magic is exposed to Uther and the court, and he just... sticks around anyway. Uther sentences him to death (after he saves his life again) and Merlin just goes “nah ,fuck you” and keeps serving Arthur?? People keep trying to kill him but he keeps waking up and just... going about his business. Eventually people get used to it and give up. Hilarious, I love it (around 7.6k)

❤It's all about Colour MERWAINE!! Merlin has been blind since birth and Arthur is completely oblivious to this. Everyone else knows, and they’re all very supportive and helpful. Bonding between Merlin and the knights and Morgana and Gwen!! Eventually, in order to fulfil his destiny Merlin needs to be able to see, magic happens, magic ending in FLUFF (around 1.3k)

Sleeping Comfort MERTHUR!! Arthur is struggling to sleep after his father’s death and asks Merlin to stay in his chambers at night. They slowly get cuddlier and cuddlier until they both eventually give in to the fact that Arthur’s never going to let him move out. Oh, and they also realise how ridiculously in love they are (around 7.5k)

How to Woo a Warlock MERWAINE!! Gwaine is trying very hard to court Merlin, but the servant is incredibly oblivious. This is adorable and amazing and I love it. The second chapter is like a follow up and is just smut, you don’t need to read it though (around 15.5k)

Uther’s Bane MERTHUR!! Uther discovers that Merlin and Arthur are together, and whilst attempting to kill Merlin, discovers his magic. Morgana and Arthur kick his arse and all is well in the end :D (around 2.5k)

❤Feathers for the Pillows MERTHUR!! Merlin has wings and has to hide them!! I LOVE this!! Gaius, and later Morgana and Gwen, help Merlin care for them whilst hiding them as best they can, but everyone knows that Merlin has some sort of issue with his back and tries to help. Just all the knights being such good bros. THIS IS ADORABLE!!! (around3.7k)

❤❤Keep her safe MERGANA!! Merlin and Morgana’s magic is outed by the witchfinder, so Arthur helps them escape and they run away to Essetir, where they become nobles/advisors to Cenred (he’s very ooc in this, he’s essentially a good guy) Eventually they fall in love and it’s so lovely and sweet and fluffy!! (around 1.5k)

Newlyweds MERGANA! Post magic reveal, Merlin and Morgana get drunk at some Druid festival and get married. They have to figure out how to tell Arthur. Hilarious, and I love it. (around 1.1k)

❤A Father's Wisdom MERTHUR!!! VERY ooc Uther, in which The King can tell immediately that Merlin is Balinor’s son, but assigns him to Arthur anyway. He finds out about their secret relationship and is awkwardly, endearingly supportive, despite being a little befuddled. Look, I hate Uther just as much as the next BBCM fan... but this is amazing. (around 2.1k)

For Now and Always MERWAINE!! Gwaine panics when Merlin is momentarily lost. Merlin makes a joke about marriage, and Gwaine suddenly finds himself completely unafraid of committing himself to someone for the long-term, so proposes on the spot. Straight up fluff. So sweet. So wholesome (around 1k)

Friendship Merlin and Leon friendship. Merlin is struggling to recover after the Lamia, but Arthur forces him and Leon to take a four day trip into the woods so Merlin can teach Leon about herbs and healing. Leon forces a conversation because Merlin is acting odd and it’s just very🥺(around 3.2k)

❤The consort MERTHUR!! This is fucking HILARIOUS. In a desperate attempt to get Uther to allow Arthur to quest for the Morteus flower, he tells Uther that Merlin is his consort. He then fails to tell Merlin this... for about a year (around 4.8k)

Waiting for them Merlin/Mordred!! I feel the need to once again point out that I’m not a huge fan of this ship, but this is written in such a way that I love it. Merlin and Mordred are both immortal, they spend the first few hundred years trying to actually kill each other, then they just mildly inconvenience each other, then they realise that they need each other, then they fall in love (after a good few centuries) (around 1.1k)

A Golden Age MERTHUR!!! Literally just... fluff. No plot, the dust has settled and everything is happy and peaceful and Golden. That’s it. (around 1k)

❤Tonight We Own the Sky Pre-Merthur I guess? Merlin is trapped in a crypt by one of Camelot’s enemies. He develops severe claustrophobia and has horrific nightmares if there’s so much as a blanket on top of him. Mordred is the only one who knows and Merlin makes him swear not to tell anyone, until he has a nightmare whilst out on patrol and Arthur forces him to spill (around 3.7k)

New Beginnings MERCALOT!! Lance discovers his feelings for Merlin when he gets jealous of Gwaine getting all cosy with Merlin in a tavern. Mercalot kissing and the beginnings of a relationship whilst the other knights cheer in the background (around 700 words)

Jealous MERTHUR!! A visiting Lord is super nice to Merlin, and Arthur worries that Merlin will want to leave with him. When he stays, Arthur decides that the only way he’ll have a chance is if he starts being even nicer. Merlin thinks he’s been enchanted or something. Fluff (around 1.9k)

❤Cry Wolf Pre-Merthur ending!! Big TW for r*pe!! Agravaine r*pes and emotionally blackmails Merlin, so Merlin makes plans to leave with Mithian and not come back because he no longer feels safe. Arthur finds out and tosses his uncle in jail, and feels super guilty for making Merlin believe that he wouldn’t believe/help him. Happy/hopeful ending (exactly 3k)

❤❤Specifically Blue MERTHUR!! Merlin is a selkie!! I usually hate AUs like this but I LOVE this one!! Merlin loses his coat, and Arthur finds it and tries to hand it back without realising what it is. Merlin blurts out what it is, and it turns out Arthur’s known for ages what he is. So cute and fluffy!! Exasperated but supportive Gaius!! (around 3.5k)

An Art in Comprehension MERGWEN!! Merlin wakes up one random morning, and realises how hopelessly in love he is with Gwen. This is so short and SO sweet!! (around 300 words)

❤❤Surprising Depth MERTHUR!! A 5+1 of Arthur accidentally finding out that Merlin is Camelot’s resident bad boy. I can’t remember what order they come in but... Merlin fucks, has a MASSIVE back tattoo, smokes, has the ability to be scary, gives a guy a messy, screaming amputation without even blinking. Oh, and is also a terrifyingly powerful sorcerer. Arthur is... gay. (around 6.1k)

The Effects of Rain Platonic Elyan and Gwaine!! Elyan gets super sick after a rainy patrol and Gwaine looks after him. This is so fluffy and sweet and I love it (around 2.2k)

❤❤Crossing the Line A whole bunch of evil sorcerers successfully storm Camelot. Merlin repeatedly has the shit beaten out of him whilst trying to find Arthur (except like... it’s funny). He bursts into the throne room and is too tired and annoyed and angry to bother hiding his magic so kills the leader and promptly passes out. Leon spends the entire time sulking because he’s been tied up and left in a field. This is super funny and every single character is just. This is hilarious. I love it (around 4.1k)

❤❤❤tell me what it’s like to conquer, tell me what it’s like to burn MERTHUR!! Slow-burn, what if Merlin and Arthur actually had run away together? They get on horses and ride as fast as they can for as long as they can. There’s only so long you can live with the other half of your soul before you fall in love. DOMESTICE BLISS!! THIS IS ONE OF MY FAVOURITE THINGS EVER!!! (around 2.8k)

When King Becomes Prince MERTHUR!! Arthur and Uther wake up having swapped bodies, this goes about as well as you’d think it would. OOC supportive Uther! Hilarious! Merlin isn’t impressed when Arthur tries to kiss him whilst still in Uther’s body (around 2.5k)

"You're lucky you're cute." MERCALOT!! Merlin somehow manages to convince an assassin not to kill The King by... flirting with him? Lance thinks it’s hilarious, Arthur isn’t impressed (around 800 words)

❤the gold of you that can't be seen MERTHUR!! Soulmate AU where you can’t see the colour of your soulmates eyes until you meet them!! Arthur goes his whole life being unable to see Gold. Momentary angst because Merlin thought Arthur was just pretending they weren’t soulmates, when really, he just didn’t start seeing gold until Merlin first did magic in front of him, years after they met. Funny, cute ending (around 3.5k)

Make Me Better ARWEN turned MERGWENTHUR!! Very OOC abusive Gaius (he bad in this). Arthur does everything in his power to remove Merlin from Gaius’ “care”, and then falls in love with him? But he’s already in love with Gwen? Ahhhh?! Luckily they both feel the same :D (around 4.7k)

❤❤Must Have Been The Wind Merlin comes into his own as a God when people start praying at his temple again. The gang (including Merlin) discovers this when they go to see what’s up with the sudden influx of magic users in said temple. Takes a SUPER angsty turn, but has a happy/hopeful ending. BEAUTIFUL. Just... the way the author writes about Merlin realising what he is, as if he were remembering something he used to be... it’s just beautiful and compelling and wonderful. I LOVE God!Merlin!AUs (around 6.2k)

dancing on the edge [of something new] MERTHUR!! Merlin (post magic reveal) drags Arthur out to dance in the first snow of the year in the middle of the night. Both of them are hopelessly in love and very stupid about it. Super sweet, fluff only (around 1.5k)

❤Of Kings and Hats MERTHUR though honestly Arthur isn’t really in it that much. Very OOC Uther who realises that Merthur is a thing, and trusts Merlin to rescue Arthur when he gets captured. When they get back, Uther is oddly fond of Merlin, heavily implies that he knows about the magic (and that maybe magic isn’t all that bad) and then starts teasing him. It’s adorable, I LOVE OOC Uther (around 1.9k)

Unforgivable MERTHUR!! Arthur gets cursed to be an arsehole to Merlin, and almost kills him. He has no memory of what happened after Merlin breaks the curse, and goes ape shit when he sees how banged up Merlin is, and is promptly horrified when he forces Merlin to tell him the truth. Happy ending (5.3k)

Drugged Up Gwaine accidentally drugs Merlin whilst they and the other knights are in the woods. Merlin proceeds to be utterly adorable (and high) and accidentally reveals his magic to all bar Arthur. The knights have to babysit him and work together to keep his magic hidden and it’s just. Adorable. And funny (around 2.3k)

❤Perfect Arthur doesn’t care that he’s gained a little weight after becoming King, but it suddenly occurs to him that Merlin might care, and he needs a little reassurance. This is just... so lovely and loving and exactly what a supportive relationship should be like (around 1.2k)

Little Miss Pendragon MERTHUR!! PURE fluff with Merlin and Arthur and their adopted little girl. Just... perfect (around 1.9k)

The servant´s tournament Uther announces that there’ll be a tournament for people wanting to be Arthur’s manservant, because of how often he gets attacked (so the servant can act as a bodyguard as well) Arthur accepts that wimpy Merlin will no longer work for him, and gets extra worried when he comes across someone REALLY GOOD training in the woods. Merlin anonymously kicks ass. Uther and Arthur are surprised (around 3.7k)

When the Leaves Begin to Fall MERTHUR!! Merlin is a God, not that he’s told Arthur that, and he starts dying when Camelot is cursed to wilt as he’s the God charged with protecting the land. Few bits and pieces of angst, happy ending (around 3.6k)

Where the Love Light Gleams GWAINE/ARTHUR A rare pair that I love!! Gwaine organises a mini Yule celebration IN Arthur’s chambers, ending in a first kiss. It’s cute, it’s sweet, it’s domestic!! (around 2k)

❤to spill soup (down someone else's front) Background Arwen, focused on Gwen and Merlin being besties. Gwen knows about Merlin’s magic, Arthur doesn’t. Merlin keeps threatening to use it to embarrass a horrible noble who was mean to Gwen. Both funny, and meaningful conversations are had. It’s just sweet and quiet and lovely (around 600 words)

Faithful Are the Wounds of a Friend Arthur sees Merlin’s Serket scar and asks the others (the knights and Gwen) about it... except they all start talking about DIFFERENT scars that they’ve seen on Merlin. Until eventually Arthur just confronts him. Magic reveal, hopeful ending (around 4.9k)

❤I need to stop writing so many fics that can be titled 'Idiot' MERGWAINECELOT!!! Gwaine’s ADHD makes him forget to eat sometimes and he faints. Lancelot and Merlin are suitably worried and look after him!! So cute and fluffy!! (around 500 words)

If you wonder about me too MERTHUR fluff!! Merlin is pining and stupid. Just a few soft pre-Merthur moments that come together in a first kiss and a love confession ( around 4k)

Mornings MERWAINE!! Domestic bliss!! Merlin and Gwaine have been married for a year and have a pretty solid routine (around 300 words)

Wisdom Smarts MERTHUR!! Merlin gets his wisdom teeth removed and is off his head on drugs. This is just really funny and stupid and I love it. Also includes a casual magic reveal and Good!Uther (which I LOVE) (around 1.3k)

He Waits Not [Till The Tumult Die] Background Merthur!! Merlin gets the shit beaten out of him by some mean knights, and Uther is the one to find him. Uther is VERY OOC and is all angry and protective and carries Merlin to Gaius and then invites Arthur to go hunt down those knights with him. TW for mentions of past r*ape. We all know I’m a SLUT (platonically) for OOC Uther (around 1.6k)

cooling off by the river ARTHUR/LANCELOT!!! The knights (and Merlin) are out and about and cool off in a river. Lance and Arthur have their first kiss whilst everyone else cheers. It’s just super sweet (around 600 words)

❤The living and the dead Arthur decides not to use the horn of Cathbandh, knowing that Ghost!Uther would just be a dick. He gives it to Merlin instead, and Merlin summons Will, Lancelot, Freya, and Balinor. Arthur overhears some conversations he shouldn’t have (about magic and destinies and shit) and is angry for all of two seconds before he sees how distraught Merlin is. Happy/hopeful ending :) (around 3.4k)

Gwaine Gives Good Gay Advice Gwaine discovers Mordred moping about his crush in the armoury and gives some brotherly love and advice. No relationships or pre-relationship, but it’s sweet and lovely and soft (around 1.1k)

❤Show Me Your Fears Background/pre-Merwaine. Merlin and the knights are stuck in a magical maze. Everyone knows about Merlin’s magic, but other than Lancelot, they all think he’s fairly weak and useless at sorcery. Each person has to defeat their greatest fear, they think they’ve reached the middle of the maze, until suddenly, an almost exact copy of Merlin appears. Merlin has to fight himself, cue EPIC magic fight in which everyone discovers that 1)Merlin is HELLA powerful, and 2)Merlin has HELLA issues (around 4.9k)

❤❤Have you Heard MERTHUR!! The gang keep hearing more and more ridiculous stories about Emrys (including from several people who claim to be him/serve him), who Arthur is searching for. Lancelot repeatedly has to hide how hilarious he finds it, and Merlin has to repeatedly hide how furious he is. He finally gets tired of it and just casually reveals it when saving the gang from misunderstanding self-described Emrys Worshippers (around 6.5k)

The Monster in the Mirror Very Horror-y?? A creepy mirror that’s meant to show you your worst fears just keeps showing Merlin a slightly darker version of himself, who tries to persuade him to “let him out”. Merlin goes briefly insane. The ending is HORRIFYING unless you ignore the very last line, in which case it’s happy :D (around 7.5k)

Mud MERTHUR!! Arthur and Merlin get all mucky in the woods. Fluffy and stupid and I love it (around 2k)

hold me like the night sky holds the moon MERTHUR!!! Arthur is very overwhelmed and needs a good cry and a cuddle but won’t admit it. Merlin sees right through him and forces him to talk about his feelings (in like... a healthy cute way). This is so sweet (exactly1.1k)

❤❤For Arthur Eventual MERTHUR!! This is hella depressing, definitely read the TWs, but it has a happy/hopeful ending. Merlin finds out he’s immortal and starts semi-regularly killing himself as a form of self harm. One day, after Merlin’s magic has been revealed (and Arthur had reacted very badly), Arthur walks in on him moments too late (around 18.8k)

Two Queens VS A Snake MERGWENTHUR!! Merlin and Gwen stand up to the knights when they treat them badly under the Lamia’s enchantment. It’s just kinda very BAMFy to be honest with you (around 1k)

❤❤Who's First MERWAINECELOT!! Merlin, Lance, and Gwaine try to sneak back in after one of their secret magicky missions and are trying to hide their injuries from each other. Gaius is all... fatherly, and won’t let any of them get away with not being treated. They all fight over who should go first. This is just.... so wonderfully adorable and I LOVE Gaius in this (around 1.6k)

Oldstones MERTHUR!! (but more background/pre) Merlin can SING!!!! I LOVE that trope!! Merlin regularly sneaks out to sing at an old abandoned ruin, unaware that the locals can hear him and have given him a cryptid-y nickname. The only price that the Lord is willing to accept to allow Camelot knights to pass through his land, is a dedicated performance from Merlin. Everyone loves it and cries (around 2.6k)

Would You Hate Me MERTHUR!! Arthur doesn’t believe Merlin when he accuses Arthur’s new friend of being a dangerous traitor. When Arthur walks in on Merlin trying to undo said guy’s magical trap in Arthur’s room, Arthur accuses Merlin of being the traitor. Merlin runs away to fight said guy and almost dies, Arthur realises how stupid he was. Mutual pining and mutual idiocy (around 3.8k)

❤These Scars Will Bleed Arthur wants to apologise to Merlin for being a dick to him after he got back from the Serket sting. He hardly gets a few words in before Merlin collapses from his injuries, and Arthur freaks out and treats him. Also with a magic reveal because Arthur isn’t as stupid as he seems (at least... not in this AU lol) (around 2.9k)

trusting a friend Platonic Merlin and Leon!! Leon figures out that Merlin always has something to do with Camelot’s miraculous victories WAY before he figures out that he does it with magic. Leon finds out and is supportive and helpful, I love this, and I love him (around 400 words)

the things that you hold MERWAINE!! And background Arwencelot! Merlin had a whole plan on how he was going to reveal his magic to Gwaine, but it goes completely out the window when he just blurts it out the moment Gwaine shuts the door behind him. Merlin rambles, Gwaine already knew, Arthur’s intense stupidity is mentioned in passing. This is so cute and also kinda funny I love it (around 1.6k)

On Shapes and Stories No matter how much he tries, not matter how Gaius tries to teach him, Merlin just can’t read (dyslexia heavily implied but I guess they didn’t really have a word for that in medieval times). Arthur finds out and is adorably sympathetic and kind about it instead of taking the piss (around 2.5k)

❤❤Loyalty and Magic MERLIN/LEON!!! A set of three short stories about Merlin and Leon’s relationship blooming. I LOVE these and I wish that the author had carried on, but the three there are still beautiful :D (1.4k, 1.9k, 1.7k)

❤❤❤Sweet as Cherry Wine Mentions of Merwaine and Merthur but not the point. What is essentially a long ass character study on how Merlin sings really well. No specific narrative, just bits and pieces throughout Merlin’s life and how people react/find out about his singing. A small section of OOC Uther, which is nice. Bits and pieces of angst as well. I really love this, it’s just so gentle and beautiful, the relationships between characters (especially Merlin and Lancelot, and Merlin and Gaius) are wonderfully written (around 16.6k)

❤The Tear in Your Eye FREYLIN!!! Except it’s angsty. It’s the medieval equivalent of Valentine’s Day, and Merlin explains to a concerned Gwen why he’s so miserable. Lovely Gwen/Merlin friendship, sad man times for Merlin though (exactly 1k)

A Moment's Peace Canon!Era Lancelot has tics!! He’s having a bad week and Elyan helps him out. This is so unique and soft and I love it!! (around 2k)

Gwaine's Misadventures in Babysitting FREYLIN!!! Gwaine accidentally agrees to babysit Merlin and Freya’s kids, and it goes about as well as you’d expect. Background Arwen as well. It’s so fluffy and funny and despite my belief that Gwaine is inherently good with children, this is hilarious (around 1.7k)

❤❤A Mark Of Survival Everyone survives Camlann, but Arthur is feeling self-conscious about his new scar. Merlin shows him his own and shares some words of wisdom. They kiss in the end which is also pretty great. I LOVE a scar reveal, but this one is so wholesome and loving (around 1.7k)

❤Freya FREYLIN!!! Angst again, sorry. Merlin has a nightmare and talks in his sleep, Arthur asks who Freya is. Merlin explains, and Arthur is unusually soft and nice about it (around 900 words)

Smiles MERTHUR!! Arthur is a dumbass who realises all of a sudden that he’s in love with Merlin and loves to see him smile. Showing affection through gifts is Arthur’s deal, and Merlin is confused, all the way up until he isn’t (around 1.9k)

"I feel strange." MERTHUR!! Background Morgwen. Merlin (and Gwen) has been away for a few days and Arthur visits Gaius because he feels unexplainably... odd. Gaius is very exhausted and slightly amused. This is so funny and cute, Arthur really is clueless (around 300 words)

Proposal Madness MERGWENTHUR!! Merlin, Gwen, and Arthur all independently plan to propose on the same day. Fluffy chaos ensues (around 1.8k)

Soft Epilogue MERTHUR and MORGWEN!!! Asexual Merthur representation, and also two lovely stories, one told by Merlin about them getting together, and one told by Morgana about how she noticed them. I don’t know how to describe it it’s just... so uniquely written. Deffo recommend :D (around 4.4k)

How to Woo MERTHUR!! Arthur is gay and dumb and takes tips from a How to Woo book to try and impress Merlin. It... doesn’t really work, until he shoves the book in Merlin’s face and says “look at this.” Arthur is so emotionally constipated I love him so much (around 2k)

❤Out of the rain Background Merthur!! But mostly just platonic between all of the knights!! Arthur has a tent, the others do not. He thinks it’s ridiculous that they don’t just invite themselves in and make themselves comfortable. SNUGGLE PILE!!!! (around 1k)

All dressed up The knights are training when Merlin appears wearing a dress because he lost a bet. Arthur realises, in a very subtle way, that he might just be a tad homosexual (around 800 words)

❤❤Would You Let Me Die Arthur is awake when Merlin reveals his magic to Uther’s spirit. He comes to terms with it fairly quickly, but Merlin dies pretty much immediately after. Arthur won’t have that, so he uses the Horn again and basically drags Merlin’s spirit back to the world of the living. Angsty and cute and funny! (around3.6k)

Like a Kicked Dog Arthur/Lancelot platonic!! Background Arwen. Lancelot manages to break himself out of Morgana’s hold as a Shade, and comes back as himself, stumbling into the Throne Room feeling scared and guilty. He comes clean about everything, and Arthur of course immediately forgives him and treats him so gently and softly and just helps him. An odd mix of angsty and fluffy (900 words)

Guilt FREYLIN!!! The knights and Arthur follow Merlin when he sneaks out after curfew just to see him meet up with Freya and cry his eyes out about how miserable and alone he is, and how many lies he’s had to tell. The second chapter is just like... a small funny story of Merlin being incapable of being able to tell the difference between a big truth and a little truth and Freya has to help him. Cute, Hopeful ending :) (around 3.2k)

Hell's Coming With Me MERTHUR!!! A vengeful sorcerer comes back to Camelot years after being banished to turn Merlin into an example. He kidnaps and hangs him in the courtyard so Arthur feels what all the loved ones of executed sorcerers felt. Except Merlin is immortal so there’s a happy ending yay! (around 1.6k)

If You Like to Talk for Hours, Just Go Ahead Now After things die down, Merlin and Lancelot finally have a chance to just catch up. Fluffy and platonic (around 500 words)

❤❤Knocked Out Merlin gets a serious head injury and the knights (including Arthur) look after him. this is so sweet and lovely and I love it!! Merlin being looked after for once!!! (around 2.8k)

Willpower Uther asks Merlin to spy on Arthur for him, and Merlin, Arthur, and eventually Morgana and Gwen, turn it into a competition to see who can come up with the wackiest story before Uther realises that Merlin’s been lying to him. This is so funny. I love everyone just... fucking with Uther with NO consequences (around 1.2k)

❤Cooking Lessons MERGWEN!!! Merlin and Gwen have some free time in the morning so Gwen tries to teach him how to cook. So fluffy, I love it. This pairing really doesn’t get enough love! (around 300 words)

❤Breaking Cages Merlin and Arthur get trapped in a well and almost die. Arthur promises a dead girl’s spirit (the one who had trapped them in said well, coincidentally) that once he’d King, magic will be free. Angst and then softness (around 3.3k)

Guarded by Love LANCELOT/ARTHUR!! Lancelot is allowed to stay in Camelot after he kills the Griffon as a guard, and he and Arthur fall in love (all part of Merlin’s plan, of course) and Merlin stands guard whilst they have lil dates. So cute!! A rare-pair!! (around 1.5k)

Unthinkable PERCIVAL/ELYAN!!! the two of them come to the rather horrifying conclusion that they couldn’t bare to watch the other die. First kiss :D (around 1.1k)

burning up MERTHUR!!! Post magic reveal, Merlin gets really sick and almost dies and everyone panics and frets. Merlin gets looked after again!! YAY! (around 2k)

Perspectives 5+1 Different people’s opinions on Merlin. Somehow, a whole bunch of people independently come to the conclusion that Merlin is some kind of Fae creature. It’s funny, right up until the end where it’s Merthur-y softness (around 3.2k)

❤❤let my arms be your safety net Arthur doesn’t remember what a hug feels like, and accidentally lets that slip. Merlin decides that he has no choice but to hug him right there and then. Lots of underlying angst but the fluffy payback is WELL worth it :D (around 1.5k)

Fault Lines in My Armor MERTHUR!! An alternative for the Disir episode. Merlin reveals his magic and cries a bit (quite a lot) and Arthur is negative for all of 10 seconds before he gets all soft. Happy/hopeful ending (around 2.3k)

Mo Anamchara MERGWEN!! Gwen accidentally discovers Merlin’s magic and reveals her own!! They kiss!!1 I love it!! So soft!!! (around 900 words)

That of the Other Half MERTHUR!! Vague smut in the middle but not really. The boys are stargazing and something feels different. Merlin is a poet at heart but Arthur is still shit at expressing himself and it’s adorable (around 900 words)

❤❤❤Rules The knights (and Merlin) ask Arthur how Uther used to train knights and are horrified when Arthur tells them. Big TW for child abuse. Arthur doesn’t realise how bad it was until Merlin asks how Arthur would feel if those things had happened to him instead. Arthur suffers a bit of a breakdown when it all suddenly hits him at once, and the others look after him. I just LOVE this. don’t get me wrong, it’s angsty, but it’s beautiful (Leon and Gwaine’s reaction are particularly dear to me. Gwaine being protective over Arthur is just such a rare thing to see and I love it) and has a happy/hopeful ending (around 2.9k)

sleepin' in your arms, still dreamin' Merlin suffers from a headwound whilst he and Arthur are stranded in the middle of a blizzard. Arthur looks after him. Ultra soft and fretful Arthur!! (around 2.5k)

❤❤❤Never Let You Go Eventual MERTHUR!! Merlin was abused horrifically in the past by a group of visitors coming back to Camelot again. Arthur, and than the Gang, find out somehow and look after him. This is just.... look I normally don’t have the attention span to read anything longer than 8k, but this is EPIC. There is quite a lot of angst (and some fairly graphic descriptions of torture/past sexual assault) but the comedy (Sir Esmerelda the Assassin Eating Goat) is GOLD and the ending is beautiful!!! The OCs are also incredible!!! I love this!!!! Amazing!!! (around 63.4k)

It's The Little Things Background Arwen, but mainly platonic Merlin/Arthur. Arthur notices that Merlin is feeling a little down and gets him some flowers to cheer him up. This is just so soft and the friendships are written so beautifully and I love it. This fic says FUCK toxic masculinity (around 1k)

Protective Percival Merlin is injured and Percival is the one to look after him. Merlin also reveals his magic in an effort to heal himself (only to Percival though). Just... the way Merlin trusts Percival immediately and without hesitation... I love it (around 1k)

does he know? MERTHUR!! Arthur gets enchanted so that he should fall in love with Merlin but... he doesn’t act any different. Arthur and Gaius try to convince Merlin that the spell just didn’t work, but Merlin is worried something terrible is going to happen. The truth comes out eventually, and it’s rather sweet (around 2.5k)

He Didn't Belong To The Night Merlin/Leon/Elyan Soulmate AU!!! Hella angst to start with, but it has a LOVELY ending (around 800 words)

❤Bowstring Leon almost dies protecting Arthur from an assassin overnight. Arthur panics and is very emotional because he thinks he’s about to lose him. It’s very short and has a happy ending, but it’s just a lovely study on the relationship between Arthur and Leon (around 800 words)

The same old someone (that I knew) MERGWEN!! Gwen worries about when she kissed Merlin. Merlin reveals his magic to her and they get together!! Arthur is supremely awkward when he walks in on them and I just... love him. (around 900 words)

So I'm Gonna Love You (Like I'm Gonna Lose You) MERTHUR!!! Arthur is reincarnated, but his return brings back Merlin’s nightmares. Merlin tries to be self sacrificing and cut of his developing relationship with Arthur to save himself down the line, Arthur isn’t having it. WONDERFUL ending (around 2.8k)

(I'm begging you to) keep on haunting me MERTHUR!! Merlin uses the Horn of Cathbhadh semi-regularly over the centuries, unaware that Arthur can see and hear him when he does. Arthur half wants Merlin to move on and never come back, because he can see how much pain Merlin’s grief is causing him, but he half wants Merlin to never stop coming because otherwise he might go insane, and he can’t bear to be alone. Eventual happy ending (exactly 6.5k)

❤❤Wanna talk about it? LEON BEING A BAMF!!! 6 times Leon cuddles one of his friends to sleep and comforts them and is the perfect big brother, and 1 time they all repay him. I just.... this is the absolute perfect characterisation of Leon in my mind and I love this so much (around 8k)

Freedom MERCALOT!! Just a soft moment between Merlin and Lance post magic-ban-repeal!! (around 600 words)

❤❤The Coronation of Merlin Emrys Hunithson MERGWEN!!! After Arthur’s death, Merlin and Gwen fell in love and got married. Gwen finally persuades Merlin to let her crown him King. This is just... super soft and I love it. It doesn’t diminish Arthur’s (canon) relationships with either of them, but it also doesn’t feel rushed of cheap that Mergwen happened after his death. Merlin often feels guilty about that but Gwen just tells him to stfu and deal with the fact that they’re in love. (around 2.3k

So kiss me, darling MERGWEN!!! Merlin and Gwen share a few more kisses after Merlin almost dies in ep 4. CUTE!! I LOVE!!! (around 3.5k)

❤Man's Best Friend MERTHUR!! Merlin and Leon are immortal, but when Arthur comes back, Merlin’s body... quits on him, basically. He’s been in survival mode for 1500 years, so now that Arthur is back and things are better, he develops SEVERE anxiety. Merlin gets a service and support Dog (and he calls it Gaius. To tell you, I sobbed) (around 2.5k)

In Plain Sight MODERN COLLEGE/UNI AU MERTHUR!!! Merlin is blind, and Arthur is ultra protective. I normally hate Time-Era-Change AUs but I LOVE this!! I’m just a fan of any blind!Merlin fic to be honest (around 8.2k)

❤You’re my angel, baby MERTHUR!! Arthur calls Merlin his guardian angel and Merlin promptly starts... crying? Merlin has severe self esteem issues and Arthur sees fit to put that right. This is so soft and loving and wonderful and just... I love it (around 1.1k)

A Trip to Ealdor MODERN AU MERTHUR!! Arthur is autistic and Will is a complete ARSEHOLE and Merlin and Hunith put him in his place. (Look I normally love Will but he is NOT nice in this) (around 6k)

Unwritten Rules The knights have to explain to a bewildered Mordred that when you find Merlin asleep in random places... you do NOT wake him up. Leave him be, because he doesn’t get nearly enough sleep, and if he NEEDS to be moved, fetch Arthur. He’s the only one who can pick Merlin up without waking him (and without getting punched in the face on reflex) (around 600 words)

❤❤The Essetir Knight MERTHUR!! An abuser from Merlin’s past reappears in Camelot, and everyone worries about him. Arthur figures it out, but not before it’s almost too late. LOT of angst, pay attention to the TW warnings. This is so well written and I love the ending and the developing relationship between Arthur and Merlin and the ending is just lovely as well (around 47k)

Cuddle Bug Merlin wakes up in a good mood and gives everyone a hug. That’s it. That’s the fic. And it’s so cute (around 1k)

❤Do You Have Need of Me? THIS HAS BEEN UODATED!! sO i’VE RE-ADDED IT TO THE LIST!! Merlin is Camelot’s Spymaster (and also essentially an assassin) and has been basically since he arrived in Camelot. He reveals himself to Arthur when he becomes King, and the two of them have to navigate their new dynamic. Merlin feels a little lost and unsure because working as Uther’s Spymaster is VERY different to working as Arthur’s spymaster. Uther was obviously not the nicest. War happens, more is revealed, an eventual happy ending. Lots of God!Merlin towards the end :D (around 33k)

Keep Me Warm MERCALOT!! Merlin and Lancelot get stuck in a snowstorm and it’s fluffy and lovely and a getting-together fic. Merlin is pining just a little and then they kiss :D (around 2.3k)

Moving Day MERLIN/GWEN/GWAINE!! Gwaine moves into Merlin’ and Gwen’s place in their modern day Dragon Sanctuary. It’s just sweet and lovable (around 3.4k)

The Manservant's New Clothes MERTHUR!! Gwen and Morgana spend ages chasing Merlin around trying to get him into a new wardrobe with eventual success. Arthur is a DUMBASS who thinks that giving Merlin a friggin handjob is the only way to distract him from the fact that he heard a noise in the room (it was a suitably horrified George, sent in to steal Merlin’s clothes by Morgwen) (around 3.4k)

A Golden Coin (With Two Sides) Pre-Merthur! Merlin gets cursed to behave temporarily like a dragon, meaning Arthur needs to keep him busy by providing him shiny things to hoard until the spell wears off. Merlin starts hoarding Arthur, which everyone else laughs endlessly at (around 900 words)

Little Miracles It’s meant to be platonic Merthur, but the ending is a little *hand dip*. One of Gaius and Merlin’s patients die in childbirth; Merlin takes the woman’s kids in and becomes both the kids’ and all the knights’ mother. It’s all very sweet and domestic.

❤❤Merlin in disguise MERTHUR!! Gwaine discovers Merlin’s magic, and also his raging self-esteem issues. He comes up with some stupid scheme for Merlin to use his magic to disguise himself and find out what people actually think of him. Arthur admits that he’s in love with Merlin to a random stable-boy (who isn’t a random stable-boy) and George and Leon are apparently in the know? Much to Merlin’s confusion? I LOVE THIS SO MUCH!!! (around 21.5k)

Endurance Platonic Elyan and Everyone. Elyan breaks his hip whilst out and about and everyone has to look after him when he struggles with the confinement to bed. Everyone is so sweet, especially Leon and Merlin (around 2.1k)

the light in your love for me MERTHUR!! Modern day Merthur head to Blenheim Palace at Christmas to see the light show. Arthur has a surprised. This is just... SO sweet and fluffy and🥺 (around 3.9k)

Revelations MERTHUR!! Merlin reveals his magic in a life or death situation, and Arthur goes “*sigh* fuck, guess I gotta change everything about the way my Kingdom works.” Magic is legalised, Merlin reveals himself to a couple of his friends, and Arthur and Merlin go from awkwardly dancing around each other to being... engaged?? (around 6k)

❤A is for Alone, which you should never be Platonic Arthur/Gwaine/Merlin!! Arthur and Gwaine slowly figure out that Gaius (he bad in this) is not the best guardian, and remove Merlin from his care and look after him (around 4.1k)

❤❤To Forgive Yourself (You Need Courage) Eventual Merthur!! Arthur drives a huge wedge between himself and Merlin post magic reveal by being obviously uncomfortable with his magic and asking him to keep it to a minimum (despite it’s new legality). Arthur is a bit of an arse in this one, but the truth comes out in the end. Angst and then a lovely fluffy ending (around 5.8k)

I'm under the mistletoe (you are the one) MERTHUR!! Morgana deliberately traps Merlin under some magical mistletoe, where he’ll only be able to move from the spot if the person he loves kisses him. Fluffy endinggggg :D (around 2k)

Around the Corner (Secrets Lie) Elyan spots Merlin interrogating and then killing a would be assassin and then... going about his business. He’s very unnerved. This makes it sound super edgy and it is a little bit, but it’s also kinda funny (around 2k)

❤❤For Your Information Modern MERTHUR!! I ADORE this!! Arthur comes out to his father, and Gaius introduces Uther to Merlin, his gay nephew, so that Uther can ask some questions. Uther keeps turning up at Merlin’s place of work to basically interrogate him on the gay agenda/lifestyle. I don’t know how to say this any better, but Uther is incredibly homophobic but like... it’s endearing?? He’s trying SO HARD to understand everything so he can be a better father to Arthur. Instead of trying to change Arthur he’s trying to change himself. Then, once he gets it, he tries to set his new friend up with his son. It’s just... this whole thing is so good and so funny and we know I LOVE Good!Uther!!!! (around 9.8k)

"Duck." Platonic Arthur and everyone. It’s Arthur’s birthday but he’s mostly just sad about his mother. Everyone tries to make him feel better, even Gwaine, who gets him a very unusual but much loved birthday present. This is so sweet and wholesome I love it (around 1k)

❤With You I'm Warmest Established Merthur and then MERGWAINETHUR! Gwaine falls into a lake in winter and Arthur and Merlin look after him, warm him up. This is just cute and sweet and hopeful and warm and lovely (around 4.8k)

The Land of Plenty MERTHUR!!! Winter comes around and Merlin begins nicking more food than normal. Gwen has a heart to heart with Arthur where she explains how winter works in small, poor villages like Ealdor, and Arthur swears to Merlin that Camelot isn’t like that, that he’ll never have to worry about food again. (around 1.1k)

an intimate routine [an art he had perfected] MERTHUR!!! Arthur used to hate shaving, now he loves it. Just a small moment in Merthur’s routine as Merlin helps Arthur shave. It’s a reflection of the love and trust between them, and it’s so sweet (around 2.2k)

Operation Woo Arthur Modern day Merwaine and then MERWAINETHUR! Merwaine are both in Love with Arthur, and on the group’s annual trip there’s a mix up with rooms and Arthur has be in the same room as them. They tell him there’s only one bed. This is so funny and sweet and I love it so much (around 5.3k)

In your arms MERLEON!! Merlin and Leon predictably get stuck outside the city in a storm and have to cuddle for warmth. Sweet, fluffy, not much else :D (around 600 words)

❤If we could just put our love’s broken heart back together again MERTHUR!! In a moment of anger, Arthur says something incredibly cruel to Merlin. Arthur has to find him and apologise and express his love properly. Angst, followed by more angst, followd by a cute fluffy ending (around 1k)

Carry Each Other MERCALOT!! Lancelot finally lets Merlin tend to his wounds after they take Camelot back, and also decides he’s sick of denying himself what he wants, and that he deserves to go after what he loves. Merlin reciprocates of course. FLUFF, Lancelot finally having some self-love (around 3k)

skinny love MERTHUR!! Arthur asks Merlin to sit with him and taste test his food. Then starts ordering another plate for him. He’s very confused until Gwen explains and he comes to the rather amusing conclusion that he’s dating the Prince. This so so funny they’re both so emotionally inept (around 1.3k)

The most massive characters are seared with scars Merlin’s scars are accidentally exposed and he runs away to have a panic attack. Leon is the one to find him and calm him down (being the only one to know about Merlin’s magic). Merlin and Leon being besties is one of my favourite thing I LOVE this!! (around 1.2k)

❤❤and for you i would wait until the earth sinks beneath the sea (even if we never are to be) MERTHUR SOULMATE AU!! Arthur pretends they aren’t soulmates, Merlin knows but goes ages thinking that it isn’t reciprocated (rare, but possible). Arthur finally, subtly reveals that he knows, but is protecting Merlin from Uther because he knows that Uther would see it as a weakness, and kill Merlin without hesitation. Merlin reveals his magic as a way of showing Arthur that he can look after himself. Lots of angst in the beginning, but the ending is so hopeful and lovely and smoochy (around 5.6k)

❤When it's over MERGWENTHUR!! Merlin is struggling after the Lamia, Gwen and Arthur help. Fluffy and cute (after the angst at least) (around 1.9k)

Marks Another MERTHUR soulmate AU!! Soulmates get matching scars whenever they’re partner is injured. Merlin gets stabbed again and Arthur decides he’s had enough of pretending. Magic reveal, happy kissy ending :D (around 900 words)

Two Weapons and a Promise An odd one. But so very good. Dragoon shows up to talk to Arthur after Morgana takes over Camelot. After a good conversation in which Arthur is forced to consider some things, Dragoon tells Arthur of Merlin’s magic. Hopefuly ending, and a very clever plan on Merlin’s (and the author’s) part (around 2k)

take up arms (your sister is cold) Elyan and Gwen bond before the wedding. Gwen is nervous and Elyan comforts her and tells her how amazing she is and how suited to being Queen she is. So sweet and soft and I love it (around 700 words)

Just Let Me Help You Platonic Merthur! Merlin finally fins a quiet moment to confront Arthur about holding his emotions in after Morgana takes over Camelot. Arthur finally lets go and allows himself to grieve all that he’s lost and lets Merlin comfort him (around 700 words)

After Sleep GWAINECELOT!! Lancelot has a nightmare and Gwaine comforts him. Quiet and soft and lovely (around 400 words)

once in a golden hour, cast to earth a seed MERGWEN!! Gwen discovers Merlin’s magic, but it doesn’t put her off for all that long and they get together. I love this ship and I wish it had more content, so here :D (around 4.1k)

OK so that's what I got for now!! I guess I'll keep this list updated with any others I find?

Hope y'all enjoy these as much as I did!!

(UPDATED 28TH DECEMBER 2021)

#bbc merlin #merlic recs #fic recs #recomendations #merthur #mercalot #sir leon #sir elyan #sir percival #sir lancelot #sir gwaine #gaius #gwen #morgana #arthur #arthur pendragon #merlin

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emeraldbabygirl · 2 years

Text

Untitled pt.2

Genre: smut, and super super fluffness overload uwu

Warnings/kinks: it’s a lil sad in the beginning but it’s okay! It gets better! mentions of body and self esteem issues, chubby reader, virgin reader, female reader, experienced kyubin 👉👈 It’s like a full on walk through of the entire sexual experience so a lot of kissing, UNPROTECTED HAND HOLDING, like kind of breast worship? a little bit, light nipple play, lil love bites uwu, A Guide to the Handjob: For Beginners, some light finger blasting, that one cunny licking word that ion how to spell but I wanted it to sound nicer than “pussy eating” PROTECC THE PEEN DURING THE SIDEWAYS DOLPHIN, so many pet names (I went overboard because I am a slut) ITS REALLY SWEET AND CUTE SEX NOT ROUGH AND A LOT OF CUTE TOUCHING AND THINGS

Length: it’s the longest fic I’ve ever written so if you don’t like long texts don’t read because I have no idea how many words she’ll have when I’m done. It’s probably over 4000 I’m gonna throw that number out there.

AN: I JUST WANT TO THANK THE LOVELY @enhyp3nen FOR SUGGESTING A PART 2 IM GONNA BE SCREAMING THE ENTIRE TIME I WRITE THIS OMG I CANNOT SKSKSKSKK SKRRT! So yes thank you for this suggestion and I hope you like this part just as much as the first! Btw we need more Kyubin specific writings of any and every kind HE IS THE SUN UGH. I’m love him and he just..ok let’s get on with it uwu! P.S since this is literally my life’s work I would really love if I got feedback on it. I do think it’s one of my best fics but I know it’s not totally perfect so I’ve anyone wants to say something nice about it please don’t say it’s horrible I will cry this took me like...idk months. But no pressure if you don’t want to say anything. Like if you just like it that’s cool too 👉👈

It was exactly eight at night when you came into the living room. Just as you had hoped, there was your wonderful boyfriend Kyubin sitting on the couch watching tv.

Tonight you were finally going to initiate sex for the very first time in your relationship. After what happened in the shower that one time you worked your very hardest to feel better about yourself and put more trust in Kyubin. He had given you the whole ‘love yourself’ talk so many times you finally listened to his advice and put his words and that talk to good use. You stepped up and stepped out of your comfort zone a few times which surprised your boyfriend but the way he got excited and happy to see you become more confident in yourself and the way he praised you even more made you truly want to take the next step. He never stopped telling you he was going to support you through all the things you did.

You took a deep breath and approached him. You still weren’t confident enough to entice him with any special lingerie but since this was such a big step for you you didn’t think it mattered. You spent hours before now in the bathroom, showering, making sure your legs were shaved and smooth, shaving other parts of you body; you didn’t want to look like a gorilla. You sprayed on just a little bit of perfume to hopefully mask the nervous sweat before changing into clean clothes. One of Kyubin’s t-shirts and a pair of shorts that you mostly wore around when Kyubin was not home. Super soft pink shorts with a ribbon tied in the front. You didn’t want to overdo yourself but you wanted to look good for him to the best of your ability. Your hair was still a bit wet as you tucked it behind your ear. You opted to keeping it lose instead of the go-to ponytail it was always in. Like you said, you wanted to look good but in a comfortable way.

“Kyubin,” you called out trying your very best to sound clear and confident. You wanted to be able to communicate well with your boyfriend especially now. There was no backing down from this tonight. You had worked so hard to get to where you are now and nothing was going to get in your way. Kyubin turned to you and as he did you started blushing like crazy. His eyes were widening slightly at the sight. A comforting smile spread across his beautiful face, the kind that always gave your tummy butterflies. Your heartbeat was speeding up and your mind was starting to get mushy with every and any thought going through your head.

“Hey baby,” Kyubin repositioned himself on the couch and held his hand out for you. You gave a small smile and joined him on the couch. “Look at you baby. Oh, are you out of clean clothes? I can do some laundry?” Kyubin questioned. His hand went up to cup your now beat red face. His thumb very slowly caressed your cheek. “Kyubin,” you began. You were suddenly extremely nervous. Why did Kyubin think you were out of clean clothes? Did he think you were dressed like a slob? He wouldn’t really think that would he, it was just a question. I mean he’s never seen you in anything other than pants. Mostly sweats. Despite all the cute skirts and dresses you had in your closet you never wore them. Negative thoughts started to gather in your head but you pushed them back. ‘One step at a time’ you thought to yourself.

“I wanted to wear shorts. I usually only wear them when you aren’t home..but tonight I wanted to..” you stopped your sentence. Kyubin shifted so his body was facing you, his right arm around the back of the couch and his left hand slowly resting on your thigh. Not on the skin but just on top of your shirt. It was awfully long anyway. Kyubin’s hand was warm on your thigh, when you looked down his large hand looked very small against your thighs that were, well, big. His thumb moved slowly along the cotton material of the shirt.

When you looked up at Kyubin again there was a loving and comforting look across his entire face, his eyes were locked on yours, a small very slight twinkle that only comes out when he looks at you. It made you smile a little wider. “You look very cute my love.” Every time Kyubin called you a sweet nickname like this you felt your heart burst out of your chest and you fought every urge to kiss him. You’ve never even made out with your boyfriend until you were in the shower with him. It drove you crazy that you couldn’t just be intimate with him whenever. You unconsciously looked down beginning to wring your hands. You did this when you started to get nervous or if you were about to cry. What a shame it was that you happened to be doing both right now. This wasn’t the way you wanted it to go. You wanted to be confident in asking him and now you just seemed pathetic.

“Hey,” Kyubin lightly grabbed your chin and lifted it up so your eyes met his. “You look cute. It’s very big of you to wear something like shorts with me in the house. Especially since you’re always in sweatpants all the time.” Kyubin chuckles causing you to laugh a little. “I know I say this all the time but you are absolutely stunning. You are my beautiful girlfriend no matter what and I will continue to tell you until you believe it yourself.” Kyubin spoke softly but clearly making sure you heard his every word. He wiped your tears away with his thumb.

This was it. You should speak up now while you and Kyubin are having this talk. Remember, one step at a time? You can do this. Taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly you opened your mouth. “Kyubin, I dressed up for you. Well, kind of. Tonight..” you paused. Could you do this? Were you really ready like you thought you were? You reached up and grabbed Kyubin’s hand that was cupping your cheek and lowered it into your lap. You held his hand with both your hands, running your thumb over the back of his hand. You made eye contact with Kyubin, you did all you could to keep the tears at bay, the nerves shooting through your body like electricity.

Kyubin’s other hand was lightly patting your head. He said nothing but waited so patiently for you to continue. “Kyubin,” you repeat his name once again. “I want to have sex tonight.” You did it. You finally said it. Your face was so hot and you were starting to nervous sweat but you did it. You were expecting Kyubin to be happy at your confession but he looked sad and a little confused. You looked into his eyes for any confirmation that he heard anything you just said. What if he changed his mind and didn’t want to have sex with you? What if-

“Are you sure you are ready?” Kyubin interrupted your thoughts. He placed the hand that wasn’t been held by you over yours and you let him hold your hands in his. “I haven’t pressured you too much have I? Are you feeling bad because we haven’t gotten intimate?” You shook your head. “No it’s not that. Kyubin..I’ve been working on myself these past couple months and..and I want to show you that I’m ready to be intimate with you. Kyubin, I want to have sex and make love to you. I want to feel good and make you feel good and just have fun with you sexually. I’m ready.” Your voice wavered because of nerves but you did your best to sound confident. Kyubin sat there for a moment. He was thinking, you could tell because his eyebrows were furrowed and his eyes were locked on something spacing out. He did that when he was thinking, you thought it was sexy to be really honest. Then he unexpectedly pulled you into a hug. His big arms held you and you smiled but started to tear up. Were you still nervous or were you happy and relieved? Maybe you were scared of what was to come.

When he pulled away he held your face with both his hands and brought his lips to yours for a quick kiss. “I’m so fucking proud of you my love. So so proud.” You smiled leaning into Kyubin’s hand. Kyubin rose to his feet and held his hand out once again to help you up. You got this sudden surge of excitement that you couldn’t help but let out a giggle. You loved that he was actually happy about your confession and that he was so proud of you. Your hard work really did pay off. He grabbed your hand as you walked slowly to your bedroom. Whenever you glanced at him he looked at you with that huge and wholesome smile. He couldn’t stop smiling.

When you got to the bed he sat you down right in the middle gently. It was the next step. The two of you in each other’s presence just a couple articles of clothing away from molding your bodies together in sweet sweet bliss. Just the thought of it alone had your head spinning. And then you had a negative thought. You would be completely naked and exposed in front of him. This time it wasn’t in the shower and you were actually going to go further than kissing. What if he changed his mind in the middle of it? What if he pulled another stunt like he did in the shower. Memories flooded back into your mind of how he turned into some type of lust craving animal and it terrified you, the way his lips attacked your wet skin and his hands had a mind of their own. You started to cry. This was definitely not how you wanted things to go at all.

“Y/n, my love. Look at me.” Kyubin tucked your hair behind your ear waiting for your eyes to meet with his. He gave a small smile. “It’s okay to be nervous. It’s okay to feel a little uneasy. It’s okay that you are scared. Everything will be alright I promise you that. I will take care of you alright? You have my word.” You broke a smile. Kyubin really was the best and most wonderful man in your entire life. The sweetest boyfriend.

“Communication is super important from here on out okay. You have the wheel, let me know how everything is along the way alright? You are in charge okay? Just promise me one thing,” Kyubin gently held the back of your head and brought his forehead to yours. You could smell his scent and it helped calm you down. “If at any time you get uncomfortable you tell me. If at any time no matter how far along we are, you want to stop you tell me and I will stop. If you need a break you tell me, if you need anything at all you open that pretty mouth of yours and tell me nice and clear with your words you understand me?”

You nodded. This dominant side of Kyubin was so hot and you could honestly say it was a huge turn on. Knowing that he would take care of you in the bedroom was something that you never dreamed would happen. It made your heart go crazy. “Communication y/n, use your words. I need to hear that you understand.” Your breathing became heavy your eyelids were closing. You felt a warm sensation through your entire body. Was this you being turned on? “Y-Yes. I understand Kyubin. I will Kyuuu~” You couldn’t focus on anything anymore your brain was turning into mush and so were your words.

You opened you eyes and were met with Kyubin’s, the sparkle that he always had while looking at you even brighter. “I’m gonna love you so much tonight, make you feel amazing, help you explore that beautiful body of yours. I’ll take care of you my love.” He said cupping your face gently. You wanted to dive right in a start kissing him on his pretty lips but you had a pit at the bottom of your stomach. Something was bothering you and you needed to talk to Kyubin about it. You didn’t know if you felt guilty or angry or scared but you had to say something now before things got too far.

“Um, Kyubin. C-can we talk. About what happened in the shower?” Your voice wasn’t very convincing, it sounded weak and scared but Kyubin understood all the thoughts and emotions going through you and he knew that you were trying your best tonight. He nodded resting his hand gently on your thigh. You let out a deep breath before you continued. “What happened Kyu?” It took a moment for him to answer, he was probably gathering his thoughts. He was surprised that you brought it up in fact. Kyubin figured you pushed it behind you but it looks like it was still bothering you.

Kyubin sighed. “I don’t know.” His voice sounded confused and unsure. He wouldn’t look at you. For a moment you wondered if he himself attempted to push the situation to the back of his mind like you did. Did it even bother him? And why was he not looking at you when he had all night? “I don’t know..” he said again. His head was down and he removed his hands from your thigh and began messing with his fingers like what you do when you get fidgety or anxious. Like you did earlier before you cried. You didn’t know what was going on and so you placed your hand on his arm and that’s when your sweet boyfriend Kyubin looked up at you with teary eyes. Your heart sank a bit seeing him like this.

You wondered if he was capable of having a panic attack. Was he having one right now? What was going on in that brain of his. His eyes shifted around the room his bottom lip quivering. He shook his head before finally meeting your eyes.

“I don’t know. I don’t know I- something just came over me like I was turning into some animal and and I couldn’t stop myself. It was like I was in a trance.” Kyubin’s hands were shaking and you quickly grabbed them and ran circles over the back of his hands with your thumbs. Clear tears fell down Kyubin’s cheeks every time he blinked. His eyes kept looking down and around the room. “I don’t know what came over me. I don’t know if I was in the moment and just wanted to have you because I was feeling impatient. I don’t know if I was frustrated with you for not trusting me and I just wanted to force you to get intimate..”

You placed one of your hands against Kyubin’s cheek so his head would stay in one place. You didn’t say anything because you knew Kyubin wasn’t done talking so you just listened trying your best not to choke up over his words and stay calm for him. This was something you’d never seen from Kyubin. He was showing a very shy and vulnerable side of him and you needed to be there for him in this moment.

“When I saw the horrified look in your eyes and you pushed me away I couldn’t deal with myself I don’t know why I did what I did. I don’t know why I hurt you and took advantage of you like that when I knew that you were not ready for anything like that. I knew you were hurting and I’m so so sorry that I just turned into a monster that night. I wanted to hold you immediately and explain everything and apologize and I wanted you to be ok but I wanted to give you space. I felt horrible and I still do. I’m sorry darling I really am.” You scooted a bit closer to wrap your arms around Kyubin. He was warm and smelled nice and he found it comforting to be held in your arms for once. “Kyubin, I trust you more than anyone in my life. When you did that I was worried that you got tired of waiting for me and you felt like you had to rush it. It was scary Kyubin. You won’t lose control like that tonight. Will you?” You whispered choking up.

Kyubin quickly pulled away from you holding your face in his hands. “No. No absolutely not, I will never pull anything like that ever again my love I promise you I never will. No tonight I will take care of you and it will be much different from what happened then I promise. I never want to hurt you like that again.” Kyubin slightly rubbed his nose against yours both of you now in tears from the talk. You were now confident and even more trusting of Kyubin. You slowly pressed your lips into his. It was sudden but Kyubin slowly relaxed his body one of his hands staying on your cheek the other gently twirling some of your hair around his finger before placing that hand on your upper arm. His lips were so soft and warm on yours. It felt good and calming and you were very much enjoying this kiss.

Kyubin slowly pulled away and looked into your eyes before kissing you again. A little longer this time. You let your hand roam up his chest where they found home in his beautiful hair. You didn’t pull on his hair but you did run your hand through it feeling his soft locks in between your fingertips. The kiss was so sweet and he was so gentle. Pulling away slowly blushing just to go back in and taste your lips over and over. Kyubin loved the way you small lips molded into his. He kept the kiss at a gentle and slow pace just enjoying this new moment for both of you. He was finally kissing his pretty girl like this for the first time. It made his heart swell up. When he pulled away again he looked at you. Your bottom lip curling in to become trapped between your teeth. The pink on your cheeks making you look even more adorable.

Your eyes looked up at him. Kyubin’s heart was pounding so loud he was sure you could hear it. Without another thought you kissed Kyubin a little more intensely. Your hands were now placed on his chest, your fingers curling to grip his shirt. Kyubin was taken aback when you slowly pushed your tongue into his mouth. Parting his lips as your soft tongue touched his. Kyubin was in another world. He could’ve gotten drunk off of this kiss. He tested the waters, pushing your tongue back with his it was his turn to enter your mouth. Kyubin could’ve sworn he heard a faint moan as his tongue moved around your soft and small mouth. Both your eyes were shut so tight just enjoying the moment and each other. This continued, letting each other explore one another’s mouths with their tongues feeling how soft y/n’s mouth was and the way her tongue tickled when it entered Kyubin’s. You finally both pulled away a trail of saliva connecting her tongue to yours. Kyubin wanted to go back in but he held back. His love was a bit out of breath and he wanted her to let him know how she felt before he went any further. She was so so pretty like this Kyubin really couldn’t help imagining what she might look like all fucked out just for him. Her soft tongue hanging out slightly, the rise and fall of her chest, the sparkly haze in her eyes and of course the color of pink or maybe red on her face from it all. Kyubin pushed that thought to the back of his mind. “How was it? How are you feeling right now?” He asked softly. He had to catch his breath as well. Kyubin had never been so excited over a kiss before. He could honestly say it took his breath away.

“It was perfect.” you said in a low whisper. You were so nervous to look into Kyubin’s eyes as your face was so warm from all this blushing. “I- I like the way you kiss. I like your lips, a lot.” you tucked a fallen strand of hair behind your ear before looking up at Kyubin. He was smiling so wide and his cheeks almost matched with the same shade of pink as yours. “I’m glad. I like your lips too. Nice and soft.” Kyubin leaned into you again giving you a quick kiss on the nose before going back to your lips. It was another slow kiss, you could feel butterflies in your stomach you were so excited to be kissing him. It felt unreal for you. You were in heaven right now and it was only from his lips. You felt both of Kyubin’s hands gently hold your sides and you jumped a bit breaking the kiss. You looked down and back up at Kyubin.

“I’m sorry. Is it okay if I touch you? Did that make you uncomfortable? Kyubin asked worry in his voice. He looked into your eyes watching for a reaction. You gave a small smile. “It’s okay, I’m alright.” Kyubin nodded and placed his hands back on your side holding you. You found yourself moving your hands up to cup his face, gently rubbing your thumbs against his soft skin. His hands felt so warm and comforting on your hips. You both pulled away only for a second before Kyubin shifted a little closer to you. One hand held the back of your neck and his other hand rested against the small of your back. As his arm snaked around behind you and his fingers touched the skin on the back of your neck a shiver went up your spine. It was a new feeling for you. You felt very warm and giddy.

You two continued to kiss slowly, allowing Kyubin to place his hands on different places on your body like your thighs and arms. He kept coming back to place his hands on your hips though and it made you smile against his lips. Kyubin pulled away once again now placing both his hands on your arms slowly rubbing up and down your skin. You were getting used to his touch and were ready to move on. “Is it okay if I take your shirt off?” he asked. ‘uh oh,’ you thought. ‘were you gonna back out now? after you made it so far already?’ Kyubin sensed your hesitation as your arms immediately hugged your stomach. You slowly nodded your head. “Yes, you can.” you said moving your hands away from you raising them up above your head. You were blushing more and more as this was continuing. You had so many feelings in you and it was hard to contain them all.

Kyubin took the bottom of your shirt and very slowly took it off of you and set it on the bed. Kyubin’s entire expression changed upon seeing you, his eyes lit up and he smiled for the umpteenth time that night. Kyubin was like a smiling vending machine. It made you smile despite the nerves. It was natural for you to cover yourself and so when your hand went to cover your bra and stomach Kyubin was patient with you.

“Look at me y/n.” he said in that sexy dominant yet gentle tone. His hands grasped yours slowly moving them from your body. He held them in is on your thighs. “This is big step for you isn’t it? There’s no need to cover up okay? Look at you, you are absolutely gorgeous.” Kyubin eyed you taking in your light pink bra and the little bit of fat that sat around your waist. Kyubin wanted to squeeze you so bad. “You’re so cute babe.”

“B-but I’m fat..please don’t say such things Kyubin.” you wanted to cry more but you were so tired of crying. Kyubin smiled at you letting go of your hands and placed them on your stomach and then moving them to your hips again. You inhaled sharp, your eyelashes fluttered as Kyubin suddenly leaned down to press his lips to your stomach. His lips felt nice on your stomach, he was slow just like he had been so far. Each kiss causing your heart to skip a beat. You didn’t say anything as you just let Kyubin kiss you. He moved up to your shoulders leaving a trail of light pecks up and along your collarbone. You tilted your head to the side so he could get your neck which caused a shiver to shoot up your spine.

“You’re perfect you know that? Absolutely perfect.” Kyubin hugged you close as he kept kissing your neck. You almost felt lightheaded or dizzy because his lips felt so good on your skin. “Kyubin,” you spoke up pulling yourself back a bit. He stopped and looked up at you. “What’s wrong? Do you want to stop?” you shook your head and let out a big breath. “It’s just a lot of feelings and things. You know? Your lips feel so good and I feel them all over me and I get a little dizzy or something. A-and my stomach turns, l-like butterflies and and..” you trailed off.

“Do you want to take a break? Do you need some water?” He questioned grabbing your hands again, intertwining his fingers with yours. You shook your head. “Can I take your shirt off?” you asked Kyubin. When he nodded you squeaked out of excitement. Your hands were shaking trying to fiddle with the buttons on Kyubin’s silk shirt but when you slipped it down his shoulders revealing his chest and toned arms and abs you were in awe. Of course you had seen Kyubin multiple times without a shirt, the man worked out for fucks sake but in this context it felt so much different. Kyubin took his shirt off the rest of the way placing it next to yours as you stared at him.

“Hey, it’s not nice to stare.” he laughed petting your hair. “I’m sorry, your just..well..you’re so pretty Kyu.” You were in a trance as your hands slowly touched Kyubin’s abs, your fingertips on his warm skin moving up to his chest and feeling his biceps and just touching his beautiful skin. You rested one hand on his shoulder leaning towards him raising up a bit, as he was taller than you even while sitting down, and you left light and soft kisses on his neck. You heard a faint moan come out of him which caused you to giggle. “You’re doing so good love. Your lips feel so good.” By now you were starting to feel as though things weren’t progressing fast enough. It had probably been maybe two hours and you still had most of your clothes on. You laughed a bit confusing your boyfriend. “Um..” you began becoming confident enough to reach into the back and start unclipping your bra. Whoever made bras that clip in the back can go to hell cause you were embarrassing yourself trying get the damn thing off. You sighed in defeat. “Stupid bra.” you mumbled. Kyubin let out a light laugh seeing you trying so hard and going nowhere. You started to laugh as well which helped shake more nerves off.

“Do you want me to get it?” You nodded and Kyubin slowly unhooked your bra. He let you hold it up until you were ready to take it off and when you did he acted like an excited puppy. You could barely get the bra on the bed before he quickly pulled you in a tight hug.

“Kyubin? Are you okay?” you asked. He was so confusing sometimes. “You’re so cute I can’t believe it. Look at you y/n!” his tone was full of excitement, smiling from ear to ear. How many times was he going to smile so wide tonight? You giggled as he pulled away to look at you. “You’re doing so good I’m so proud of you! You’re so so beautiful I love you.”

Kyubin had never been so excited in his entire life it was like unwrapping the best present ever. Kyubin took your hands in his and kissed the back of them while looking up at you with his beautiful eyes. “You’re so excited Kyubin..do I look okay?” you were happy that Kyubin was in such a good mood but you were still shy about this whole situation.

Kyubin smiled and went in for another kiss. This kiss felt different. His body was touching yours, you could feel his skin on yours, and knowing that you were bare from the waist up made the kiss feel dirty and rebellious. Your hand found home in Kyubin’s soft locks once again as you two enjoyed an extra long kiss your tongues very gently touching and rubbing against each other. You even got Kyubin’s breath to hitch when you playfully bit his bottom lip for the first time. Kyubin couldn’t stop smiling he was totally over the moon right now. The fact that he was so happy, not rushing you and treating you so well and he wasn’t even in your pants yet not only gave you a huge boost of confidence but it made you feel so much more safe and loved by him. You couldn’t ask for anything better than this moment.

He placed more kisses on your neck and shoulders, rubbing your back, petting you hair and stopping to hold you in his arms. The only thing he seemed to forget was answer your question. “Kyubin, you didn’t answer me.” you said firmly. He stopped and looked up at you raising one eyebrow. You rolled your eyes and smiled. “I asked you if I looked ok..you know..here.” you gestured to your chest. Kyubin frowned for the first time in a while. “What do you mean love, of course you look okay, you look perfect. Why?” You started to fiddle with your fingers again. The realization of reality was starting to kick in. You were half naked in front of your boyfriend and you were going to have sex with him tonight. Which meant he would see your entire body and watch and listen as your body did things it’s never done before. What if he didn’t like it. Did he even like your breasts?

As always Kyubin sensed an uneasy feeling and got all serious but still loving. “Y/n my love, what’s going on in this pretty little head of yours? Do you want to stop. Nothing is set in stone, we don’t have to do this tonight you have the wheel here-”

“Do you like my breasts?” you blurted out cutting Kyubin off. You were so tired of crying but you started again tears quickly filling up to your waterline and running fast down your cheeks. Kyubin’s face softened and he sighed. Once again Kyubin grabbed your hands to hold in his rubbing the back of them to help calm you down. “I mean, like, do they look okay? Are they too gross or small or something?” you reached up and lightly slapped them in a disgusted way and Kyubin picked up on that and pulled your hands away. “Y/n stop. Stop thinking so negatively about yourself. It hurts my heart every time you bring up an insecurity and ask me if I’m okay with it. You know that I love you. I tell you everyday and if it doesn’t feel like I do then I need to make sure it is crystal clear that I do. Have I ever said that I didn’t like your body? Have I ever told you that your aren’t good enough?”

You shrugged meeting Kyubin’s eyes with yours. Wiping away some of your own tears you sighed. “No but I can’t help feeling the way I do. I don’t know Kyu, I just feel like I’m not good enough for you. I wish I was sexy you know? I want to be super skinny and have great boobs like other girls and I want men to look at me, and I want to be flirted with and I want to feel good in revealing clothing. Don’t you want that for me?” You lowered your head your eyes just focusing on the bedspread. Kyubin grabbed your chin and raised it up so you were looking at him. His expression told you he was not happy. Why did your stupid feelings have to get in the way and ruin everything? It was going good until it wasn’t.

“I don’t want you to be skinny and look like every other girl I’ve ever dated. I want you to look like you. I want you to have more to yourself then just looks. I don’t want you ever thinking you need to look a certain way to please me or any other man and I sure as hell don’t want you thinking a man will only want you if you are skinny and have the body of every damn super model on the runways today. You’ve watched those shows, you know they go through harsh and unhealthy diets to get that skinny. it’s not fair on your body or mind to push yourself to be at an unhealthy weight.”

“But I’m fat.”

“You are a healthy weight. You are not in danger of any health risks or death, you are perfectly healthy. Yes you have some chub, yes you are not a twig but I don’t care. I don’t care if your boobs are the size they are now or if they are the size of a fucking peanut babe, honestly. You’re hurting yourself with this mindset that you are not enough. You are more than enough. I love you from the inside out. Every single part of your body, every vein, stretch mark, hair, and everything in between. It’s always about how you make me feel that I love about you. You could wake up one day and be purple with yellow polka dots and I would still love you. You have a good heart, a good personality. You are sweet and make me laugh and you are just perfect in every way I can think of.” he cupped the side of your face wiping away more tears as they continued to fall down your face.”I’m sorry Kyu.” you spoke up reaching for his wrist with your hand.

“You have nothing to be sorry about. I know this is really hard for you and I know it’s going to take some time but I promise I am going to be with you every single step of the way. I am your number one fan darling. You should never ever compare yourself with others. You know they could be feeling the same way as you. Just because you aren’t a certain way that you think is the standard does not mean that I will love you any less. I chose you over so many others.”

Kyubin rubs his nose to yours and places a quick kiss to your lips. “I want nothing more than for you to love your body and be confident and enjoy everything life has to offer. You deserve every bit of happiness and I won’t let anything get in the way of that. I don’t care how many times I will give you this talk, I will continue to do so as long as I live I swear to you. You can’t make me not love you or fall in love with you anymore than I already have. Y/n, you know I’m just head over heels in love with everything about you.” You smile and hug Kyubin.

“Do you still feel like continuing? You seem very tired. Do you want to call it a night?” You violently shook your head. “No, please Kyu, I want this. I want you tonight please..I just need to work this out.”

“I’m with you all the way love.” Kyubin was so sweet you could throw up. What did you do to deserve such a great and wonderfully sweet boyfriend like him? “Shall we continue?” Kyubin asked. You were ready to feel Kyubin’s warm and comforting touch again. It was quiet for a little bit, you two just stared into each others eyes, you loved the way Kyubin’s eyes sparkled so bright. His eyes were so pretty. “Can I touch you here?” he broke the silence gesturing to your chest. Your heart was pounding so hard you thought it might jump to your throat. “Yes, yes Kyubin..please.” your tone of voice and confirmation in the form of asking surprised Kyubin and he wondered if you were starting to get aroused.

Warm hands gently cupped each breast holding them for awhile letting you get used to them being touched and held. You were nervous sweating and it was in fact more embarrassing than having your boyfriend hold your breasts. Kyubin looked up at you for a silent approval. Despite him saying you needed to use your words some things you both understood with just the look in your eyes. Kyubin gently squeezed one breast in his hand causing a light gasp to fall from your lips. His hands were so warm and felt even better on your breasts then when they were on your hips. He took his time playing with your breasts. Squeezing and pushing them together, paying special attention to the pretty noises you made. He made eye contact with you as his fingers pinched and rolled the nipple on you left breast. You gasped again flinching slightly at the new sensation.

“Kyubin, h-how’d you get s-so confident. You know, with yourself?” You asked while he was working your nipple into a point. His fingers were so delicate and and did such a good job of applying just the right amount of pressure. “I just kinda trained myself I guess. Tried my very best to work on myself and not let the comments of other’s get to me.” He was so good at multitasking it was blowing your mind. You were itching to found out what else he could do with his fingers. Your thoughts were becoming too dirty but you couldn’t help it. You had never felt this way before. Kyubin’s touches were literally heaven. He knew how to make you squirm under him and it made you wonder all the things he could do to you with his co-”

“Ahh Kyu~” your thoughts were cut off as you felt his wet tongue touch your right nipple, his fingers still rolling at your left nipple. Like a new reflex you grabbed Kyubin’s head with your right hand and held him in place as his tongue licked and played around with your nipple. You could feel him smiling and feel what you only assumed was arousal pool between your legs. You had no idea what this feeling was inside you but you were getting tingles all over your body, your head, the back of your neck, up your spine and even between your legs. You couldn’t control how red your face was now, the more Kyubin sucked the more vocal you got. He switched to your left nipple doing the same thing. He himself started to gently moan and hum to get you more in the mood and help again to make you feel more comfortable. The moment his teeth grazed at your nipple you let out the prettiest moan Kyubin had ever heard. You fell back on the bed breathing heavy, closing your legs as fast as you could. It was overwhelming what you were feeling but you were just so excited and you wanted more.

“Are you alright love?” Kyubin asked leaning over you watching some fresh tears roll down your cheeks. “Yes, yes I’m good-d oh my god Kyubin.” You laid on the bed trying to catch your breath as Kyubin laid himself beside you stroking the side of your face and lightly grazing his fingertips down your stomach, up your thighs and around your arms. “You just let out the most cute and gorgeous little moan ever you know that? I’ve never heard anything sound so angelic it was like music to my ears.” You blushed still as if you weren’t red enough. You looked into Kyubin’s eyes again. Biting your lower lips you pulled Kyubin into you grabbing locks of his hair and holding on as you kissed him a little more intensely letting yourself moan into his mouth. Kyubin’s hands pressed themselves into the mattress his body hovering above you. You gasped sharply when you felt his lower region just touch yours.

You pulled your boyfriend closer to you resting your face against his neck as you let your body take over while your brain was disconnected for a bit. You bucked your hips up once against Kyubin’s groin causing your thighs to shudder at the feeling. You squeezed your eyes tightly moaning into his neck as you did it once more hearing Kyubin’s breathing pick up. You let go of Kyubin and he kept his entire body hovered above yours for a little bit. “I-I’m sorry um..I was..” you trailed off embarrassed by what you just did.

“Can I asked you something?” Kyubin gets off of you and lays next to you again. When he says yes you turn to him. You run your fingers up and down his arms tracing small circles on his bicep. “Have you had sex with your previous partners?” You said partners as you weren’t sure if Kyubin played for both teams or not. “I have, yes. Why do you ask?”

You pouted a bit. “Were they any good? Like..did you enjoy one over the other?”

“Are you asking if I compared them? No I didn’t. All of my sexual experiences differ with each partner. A lot of times it was very simple and very..I guess you could say pleasant but I had a few moments that weren’t as good. You should never compare partners though y/n. Each partner is different and enjoys different things.”

“Were they all girls?” you questioned softly feeling like you maybe overstepped your boundaries. Kyubin started laughing. “Is that why you said partners? Yes they were all girls. I’m not aware of having sex with other men.” Kyubin twirled a lose strand of your hair around his finger.

“Do you want to? Have sex with men?” You blurted out. Kyubin laughed again. “It’s not for me at the moment. Well, I mean. I’ve only been interested in woman so far. Why do you ask babe? Do you have a fantasy you want to act out, I’m sure I’d be open to something.” You felt your cheeks heat up again and you quickly raised up on the bed.

“No, no no I uh..I just thought maybe um..it might not be satisfactory compared to the other girls. What if I’m not good at it?” Kyubin raised up next to you placing his hand on the small of your back. “Darling, what did I tell you about comparing yourself to others. It’s not fair for me to say who I prefer out of my partners nor compare them to you. I can guarantee having sex with you will be satisfactory for both of us. Don’t worry about the past okay. The present is with you and taking care of you and making sure you enjoy yourself tonight alright love?” Kyubin pressed a kiss to your forehead. Now lay back on those pillow okay, we’re gonna go to the next step.” Kyubin playfully winked and you had to bite back a squeal.

When you had settled yourself in the pillows Kyubin leaned over you his mouth reconnecting to one of your breasts. While his mouth was busy his hand was gently squeezing your breast and playing with your nipple. You let him do as he pleased breathing in the light and fresh perfume he always wore. Having him right under your nose helped you to relax. A few times you flinched when his teeth came in contact with your nipple because you weren’t used to his lips and teeth on such places on your body but he was going slow and carefully listening to each sound you made.

He stopped and looked up at you when you started laughing. “I’m glad to see you in a good mood but what’s so funny?” he asked raising his brow. You reached up to cover your face feeling embarrassed for laughing. “I’m sorry it just kinda tickles.” Kyubin smiled at you a chuckle leaving him.

“You’re so cute love.” Kyubin shook his head and went back to giving your nipple attention. Then he went to the other one leaving pecks around your breasts and up to your collarbone. Your hand found his hair and started petting him. His hair was so soft you wanted to ruffle it and maybe even pull on it but you didn’t want him to accidently bite your nipple off. His lips went down in between your breasts going to your stomach. He kissed your stomach like he did earlier with your lips. Soft and gentle and passionately. “You’re so beautiful. Your stomach is so cute.” he reached for your side and squeezed it a bit. As his lips went down further your heart started beating 80 miles a minute. But then you sighed as he went back up your body and to your lips. You loved his lips on yours it made you so happy to just kiss him and he was such a good kisser. Of course you hadn’t kissed anyone else before but you were very confident that Kyubin was the best.

Kyubin pulled away looking down at you as he held his body above you. Some of his hair fell around his eyes and you gently tucked it back behind his ear looking into his eyes. Your eyes then followed as your hand moved down along his skin touching his neck and chest and then down his arm. You smiled as Kyubin mirrored your actions. “Kyu, you’re so pretty and handsome. I like when you kiss me. Your lips feel good, they feel warm and comforting.” You grabbed one of his hands to intertwine your fingers with his sending Kyubin’s heart to flutter. He gave you a small smile. “I’m glad you like it. I like kissing you too. I think we should definitely kiss more often.” You nodded at his response and he got off of you and moved to the foot of the bed.

“Are we doing that now?” you asked thinking he was ready to move on to the actual sex. Kyubin placed both his hands at your ankles rubbing your legs up and down til he came to your thighs. “Not yet. Can I take your shorts off or do you want to?” You shrugged. You were pretty comfortable right now and you didn’t feel like getting off the bed, taking them off then getting back on the bed. “You do it..I’ll watch.” Your comment made Kyubin smile the color pink finding it’s way on his cheeks. He placed his fingers on the waistline of your shorts. “Ah love these shorts are so cute. They are so soft, are you sure you want me to take them off?” you only giggled. “Of course I do Kyu.” He nodded and you raised your hips up so he could get them down your legs. When they were off your hands quickly glued themselves over your underwear.

“It okay. Relax.” Kyubin didn’t move your hands away or tell you to move them he just went down and started leaving small pecks and love bites on your thighs humming as he did so. His hair falling in his face and sweeping against your thighs tickled and you couldn’t stop yourself from laughing again. You felt his lips curve up smiling as he continued to kiss your thighs. His hands held your waist or traced circles on your thighs. You were getting used to his hands on your body and they were so warm against you. You wanted to touch him yourself so you started to run your hands through his hair and against the skin by his neck and shoulders. You raised up off the bed leaning on one elbow. Kyubin held out his hand and you took it is his kissing the back of it. He continued to kiss along your thighs while your hands were out of the way.

You gasped as his lips landed on top of your underwear. He was kissing your panties but they way you could feel the touch from under the cloth had the hairs on the back of your neck stand up. Kyubin raised up and starting laughing. “I just got the chills and you have goosebumps on your legs. Are you getting cold?” you shook you head. “No, I’ve just..you know. Never had someone kiss me..there before.” Kyubin nodded taking in your response before he asked you the next question. This time your face was beat red heartbeat just going. “You can yes, but you have to take your pants and panties off too. You playfully crossed your arms sending Kyubin into a fit of laughter.

“Of course I will and I don’t wear panties I wear boxers.”

“Well why can’t I say panties?” you laughed back. Kyubin shook his head giving you a quick kiss to your cheek. “You’re so damn adorable my heart might actually explode.”

“It better not before you get those pants off mister.” you stated pointing a finger at him. Kyubin got off the bed standing at the foot before he took off his belt. Unbuttoning his blue jeans your breath got caught in your throat watching them slide down his waist seeing a slight raise underneath his boxers. “Cute panties Kyu~” you cooed making him smile. You scooted to the foot of the bed your legs tucked under you watching with big eyes as Kyubin slowly slid his boxers down. When he raised up to toss his hair back your lip pulled back in between your teeth. “Oh my god.” you mumbled. Kyubin did that thing that every heartthrob does with his hair before crawling onto the bed. You scooted back as he crawled forward your eyes were glued to his dick. You watched as it bounced around almost like it was waving to you. “Now it’s your turn my love.” he teased.

“Y-you d-do it.” you stuttered. You tried to ask yourself where your thoughts were but they were too busy running around your mind prison screaming like chickens with their heads cut off. You could not take your eyes off Kyubin’s dick. You were mesmerized by it. Kyubin sat on his knees and gently slid your panties off. You once again covered yourself. Kyubin said nothing as his gaze was locked on you. In fact he didn’t need to say anything because you knew what he was thinking. You didn’t need to cover yourself anymore and at this point you didn’t want to. You were moving forward. When your hands moved away from your lower region Kyubin kissed you on the lips again. Every kiss was so nice and warm you could go all night just kissing. It was like every kiss to your lips was a thank you and a praise from Kyubin.

“Can I kiss you down here?” Kyubin asked his face inches from your skin his eyes looking up at you. You giggled a bit feeling the air from his nose tickle. “Yeah, yeah.” you couldn’t stop giggling, something just came over you and the thought of Kyubin kissing you down there was making you laugh. You had never thought of it before but the concept was kind of funny and strange. You covered your face with your hands trying to muffle your laughter.

Kyubin had your legs spread and was hunched over you his lips gently kissing his way around your lady parts. You felt his hot breath and it tickled. “You’re so giggly tonight babe. How cute.” You took your hands off your face when you felt Kyubin’s lips go lower. You eyes went wide as his lips kissed your lower lips. Only for a few seconds before Kyubin raised up. “How was it?” you asked him.

“It was good..could use a little salt though.” you burst out laughing Kyubin joining you. “Do you have enough pillows?” He asked you. You nodded and let out a comfortable sounding sigh. After a few more kisses and approval from you Kyubin used his fingers to touch your lower lips and get you used to him down there. His hands were so warm it felt relaxing but when his thumb gently rubbed against your clit you flinched. “Is something wrong? Should I slow down?”

“No everything is fine I guess I was just surprised. Um..have you ever used sex toys?” The question took Kyubin a bit by surprised. You looked a bit embarrassed to be honest. “oh, well I suppose I have a few times yeah. How about you?” Kyubin just rubbed your skin around your lips, he didn’t want to fingerblast you just yet he wanted you to be comfortable with his hands and fingers toying with you before they entered you.

“I’ve mostly just tried to use my fingers. I’ve been kind of afraid to use sex toys. I don’t think they are for me you know?” Kyubin’s hands stopped touching you and he scratched his head.

“In past relationships I never messed around with a lot of sex toys. When I did use them on my partners it was usually either a dildo or vibrator. For the most part they just liked me using my hands and things.”

“So you never did like nipple clamps or got kinky with a pair of pink fuzzy handcuffs?” at this you and Kyubin both burst out laughing again. Kyubin shook his head. “No I think a lot of my partners were really sensitive so I didn’t want to use anything out of their comfort zone and a lot of them told me the same thing as you that that were a bit intimidating for a first time use.”

“Would you ever use a vibrating butt plug? or maybe a strap on?” you blurted out beginning to laugh again. Kyubin raised an eyebrow. “Like on myself or a partner?” He looked so confused it was so cute. You shrugged. “Probably not.” You two talked some more about different sex toys and what you two might want to try together and then you moved on. You moved on so much in fact that you had now allowed Kyubin to start stretching you out with his fingers. He went slow as he slipped one finger at a time into you moving them slowly and gently in and out of your vagina. You felt his finger glide along your walls, curling every now and again and it made light moans roll off your tongue.

“How does it feel? Am I doing okay?” Kyubin asked. He was angling everything so perfect your hips just had a mind of their own. “Yes, it’s perfect Kyubin, it’s so good.” You hadn’t even had his dick inside you yet and you were at a loss for words. He had magic in his hands. Your mind wondered what it would be like to have him finger you in the shower. You kept making these pretty moans and Kyubin was getting so excited. When he asked if he could use his tongue you choked out a yes thinking about how good it might feel down there knowing how good his tongue felt in your mouth.

He repositioned himself on his knees, his mouth lined up with your entrance. He held you his arms wrapped around your thighs keeping them spread as his tongue slowly licked up and around your folds. His kissing started out slow but it became messy pretty quickly. Running his tongue around your clit, his lips roamed around you, his humming sending vibrations inside you that made so many noises escape you. Little gasps every time his tongue went inside your vagina, soft moans when he started to suck your clit that became more loud and filled with need. Your thighs felt kind of like jelly and your breathing was heavy as he made you feel so good. You couldn’t put into words what you were feeling, you couldn’t tell him how he was doing you were so breathless and you couldn’t think about anything at the moment.

The way his warm tongue just went everywhere and then his fingers pushed inside you. You sighed now feeling his tongue and lips and fingers down there. The sensation was indescribable. Your hands moved on their own to find his hair and your pulled his locked which made him moan and that vibrated through you. There was so much he was doing and you were starting to feel like maybe you were going to faint. You had a strange feeling in your stomach and you stuttered trying to find your words. Kyubin stopped when you made a small squeak.

“What happened? Are you alright darling?” Kyubin sat up and came to your side his hand grabbing yours. You smiled at him face all pink. “I’m fine. I’m okay, it was, well I’ve never felt that feeling before. You’ve got magic in you Kyubin, it felt so amazing but I was starting to feel overwhelmed. I don’t know I felt strange.” Kyubin nodded and kissed you again. “And and the sounds coming from down there..they sound so..” you cut yourself off. Lewd was the word you were looking for but you were embarrassed to tell him that. Embarrased to admit that you were turned on and how you felt wet down there and how dirty it felt and sexy to have Kyubin’s entire face down there eating you out. It was a whole new experience and it took your breath away truly. You looked up into Kyubin’s eyes and quietly spoke up. “You make me feel..really g-good. I’m embarrased thinking of such thoughts.”

Kyubin was laying against the bed and you had an idea. You sat up on your knees and started at Kyubin’s erection. “Kyubin,” You started as you reached for his dick. After he treated you so well you wanted to return the favor but when he pulled back you got confused. You scooted closer to him and tried again but he pulled your hand away. “Kyubin what’s wrong? Why won’t you let me touch you?” Negative thoughts started to form in your head. What if he didn’t want you touching him cause he thought you were gross? What if he was taking advantage of you and didn’t want to be touched by you because he wanted control over you? He was your boyfriend, everything leading up to this had been so good and trusting. What happened? You looked at Kyubin’s body language. He wouldn’t look at you, his hair falling in his face again.

“Kyubin..it’s not fair. Why won’t you let me touch you. I’ve put all my trust in you tonight and I would think you would do the same. Why don’t you want me touching you? Am I not good enough?” You held back the tears this time waiting for him to respond. “It’s not that..” Kyubin gave a shy smile. “All my previous partners knew how and..you don’t have any experience.” You furrowed your brows. “So because I have no sexual experience with another person means I can’t try? Kyubin that’s mean how could you? I can’t believe this.”

You went to get off the bed but Kyubin grabbed your wrist. “No y/n it’s not like that I swear. I just want tonight to be all about you. I swear I have no bad intentions. I would never do that to you. Please trust me.” Kyubin sighed letting you go. “Love, I know what it sounds like. I didn’t want to have you do anything tonight cause I thought since this was already a lot for you it would be too overwhelming for you to please me. I wanted you to be comfortable receiving everything tonight. I don’t want you to do anything you don’t want to do.” Kyubin’s eyes were sad. He was telling the truth and you mentally kicked yourself for ever thinking he was a bad man. He proved all night that he was the best man ever and you had to stop doubting him. It wasn’t fair on him.

“I’m sorry. I just thought you’d want something. You’ve treated me so well tonight I wanted to return to favor. I know I don’t know what to do or how but you can teach me. Please Kyubin? I want to try.” You let Kyubin sit for a bit before you reached for his hand. After a little longer he nodded.

“Okay. You’re right it’s not fair and if you want to make me feel good tonight you should.” Kyubin pulled your hand over his cock and you let out an unexpected gasp as your fingers wrapped around his shaft. You were choking back your excitement, your hand was touching Kyubin’s dick and it made you giggle. Kyubin kept his hand on top of yours.

“W-what do I do now?” You looked at him and he was smiling. He moved your hand up and down his dick slowly. You squealed a bit in excitement. Your eyes were wide as he gently guided you up and down his shaft.

“Good good. J-just like that. That’s good.” Kyubin’s eyelids fluttered and his chest was starting to raise. You bit your bottom lip looking back and forth between Kyubin and his dick. Kyubin took his hand off of yours and let you take control. With each stroke you sped up and with each stroke you got more excited and turned on hearing Kyubin’s breathing speed up and his moans.

“Kyubin you’re so cute.” You moaned out. You slowed down a bit and swiped your thumb over his slit feeling his precum on your thumb. You felt Kyubin jerk his hips up. When you looked over at him his head was pushing back into the pillow his stomach muscles and arms muscles and really his whole body tightening. His bottom lips was in between his teeth and the image of your boyfriend becoming a mess to your touch like this gave you a small boost of confidence. You smiled and spoke softly as your fingers gently rubbed his tip playing with the cum. You watched it drip down your fingers and you jerked your hand up and down his shaft again coming all the way up to the tip to swipe your thumb over his slit again.

“Am I doing a good job baby? Your cock is so pretty Kyu. You look so cute.” You giggled as Kyubin jerked his hips up again and started thrusting into your hand.

“Fuck, yes baby it feels amazing. You’re doing so g-good fuck.” The way he was acting got you so excited and you sped up again. He let out a loud moan and you felt his hand grab your thigh as he came. You jumped a bit as the cum shot out flying onto his thigh and the sheets. You felt it in your hand and something clicked in your brain that told you to lower yourself down to his cock.

When you went to open your mouth just inches away from his tip, mouth salivating the desire to lick up his cum and suck him off with your mouth, he moved your head out of the way. Confused you looked at him. He was still breathing heavy and to be honest he didn’t have the strength to even push that hard you just felt a gentle nudge. Kyubin’s eyes opened his cheeks pink his breathing still heavy. “That’s enough love. You d-don’t have to do that.”

“Kyubin I wanted to..” you were disappointed that he stopped you and he could hear it in your voice.

“I-I know baby. But you don’t have to. Maybe another time you can give me a blowjob. I promise we’ll have plenty of time to explore each other further okay?” Kyubin blinked his breathing slowing down. He leaned over to grab something on the floor. When he raised back up his shirt was in his hand. He took your hand and wiped his cum off you and then he cleaned his dick. You were a little sad that Kyubin seemed to want to stop.

“I just wanted you to feel good after you made me feel good.” You said wringing your hands again. You heard Kyubin sigh. When you looked at him he looked sad. He was probably internally beating himself up over stopping you.

“I know baby. Trust me you did such a wonderful job, you did make me feel good. You’re hands were so soft and so small and cute god I couldn’t stand it. If you gave me a blowjob..” Kyubin trailed off seeming embarrassed. Maybe he was so turned on it was overwhelming him. “Another time I promise. Another time I’ll let you wrap that pretty mouth around my cock.” As Kyubin was speaking you could hear the excitement in his voice.

You crawled on top of him and kissed him pushing your tongue into his mouth. He moaned in pleasure and you felt his cock harden up slowly against your thigh. “Let’s move on Kyubin please?” You asked pulling away from him. He smiled nodding. You two gently switched positions so he was over you again.

“Baby listen. Before I start I need you to listen to me. I am going to go slow and I am going to let you adjust because you’ve never had a dick in you before. It’s different from fingers you know.” As Kyubin was speaking to you he was holding the back of your thighs rubbing them with him thumbs. He was trying to help your nerves and help you relax. You’re breathing was already so heavy but Kyubin was here just like he promised. You felt safe with him. You felt warmth all throughout your body and your heart felt like it was going to burst out of love. You were spacing out as he spoke to you in such a sweet and gentle tone.

A warm hand cupping your cheek brought you back. “Hey love, listen okay. It’s important. This is going to hurt. It might hurt a lot. I’m going to go slow and if it hurts too much tell me and I’ll stop. It’s very important that you communicate with me during this part okay? I want you to be comfortable and safe. Please please speak up if you want to stop. I am in no rush, if tonight is not the right night that is okay. We can always try again later alright? Do you understand me?” He asked looking into your eyes. “Yes Kyubin.” You nodded.

“Okay, are you ready love?” You gave him another yes and he slowly lined his tip up to your entrance. You breathed in sharply, “wait wait wait,” you blurted out covering your eyes with your hands. All the emotions and all the nerves you had been holding in all night were coming out. You were terrified. You’re thoughts were running at 80 miles an hour. Was he going to care for you after? Was he going to leave you after? Were you only another virgin to his collection? Did he really have bad intentions and he’s lied to you your entire relationship? What if he pulls what he did in the shower again? Or worse? What if he gets you pregnant on purpose and leaves you and the baby? What if he doesn’t like you after he takes your virginity?

“What wrong? Did you change your mind?” Kyubin asked coming to sit next to you. You hesitated. “Um..Kyubin..can I ask how many times you’ve had sex with someone who was a virgin?” Kyubin cocked his head to the side and pondered for a bit. “I have. A few of the woman were virgins yes.”

“Did you only have sex with them?”

“Are you asking if I was in a relationship with them or not? I was. For a few years with some of them. Some only a few months. I was never the type to just hookup.” Kyubin carressed your cheek lightly with the back of his hand.

“Why did you break up with them? Was it because they were no longer virgins?” You started to tear up once again. Kyubin frowned at what you were hinting at. “No. Absolutely not. I am not like that. Often times they just got tired of being in a relationship. Sometimes I ended it because I felt like I wasn’t doing enough for them or I felt like they weren’t doing enough for me. They just ended up not working out for whatever reason. I did not break up with them because they were no longer virgins.”

“Oh.” You mumbled. “Y/n are you afraid I won’t love you anymore if you aren’t a virgin?” Kyubin sighed when you looked away more tears falling. “Darling look at me please.” When you did he reached up and wiped a tear away. “I am having sex with you because you are ready and because I love you very much and I want you to know how much and I want me and you to be able to share intimacy like this and explore each other’s bodies and make each other feel good. I want you to trust that I’ll take care of you no matter what. I am your rock. I will be here for you always. Even if you weren’t a virgin I’d still love you and still want to enjoy special things like sex with you and I’d still take care of you.”

Kyubin pulled you into him wrapping his arms around you. “Oh Kyubin.” Your heart was ready to leap out of your chest at his words. He really was the best man ever. Sweet, genuine, it made you want to cry out of happiness. “Since you are a virgin I need to make sure that your first time is okay for you. That’s why I told you in the very beginning that you had the wheel the entire time and that you needed to communicate with me with your words. I will do my absolute best to make sure you are comfortable and feel safe and loved. All the woman I’ve been with that were virgins were all different, all different experiences and I did everything I could to make it a good experience for them. I will do the exact same thing for you. Yes you are way more nervous than they were and a lot more scared but I’m ready to handle it and I’m ready to be here for you now and forever. I will always love you no matter what, you being a virgin or not has no effect on how much I love you and how far I will go to protect you and make sure that you feel okay mentally and physically before during and after this.” He ran his hands through your hair and brought your chin up to look at him.

“I love you Kyubin.” You said reaching up to kiss his lips. This kiss made your heart flutter so much. More than all the previous kisses. It felt like your lips were melting into each other. “Um Kyubin,” you spoke up trying to hold back your laughter when you realized he was about to go in raw. “Did you forget the condom?”

You busted up laughing when his eyes widened. “Oh shit hang on.” Kyubin got off the bed and pulled open the top drawer in the nightstand. He was shuffling around for awhile before coming back to the bed. “Ok, almost forgot.” It made you laugh some more. “Lay back and spread your legs for me please.” Kyubin asked softly as he tore open the small package and began rolling the condom on him. You smiled gushing over how sweet his tone was while speaking so lewdly. Kyubin speaking dirty to you made you feel giddy and made you want to let loose and take control but you didn’t want to get crazy for your first time.

Kyubin ran his hand through his hair his beautiful brown eyes looking into yours. “I’m nervous Kyubin.” You whispered. Your cheeks had been pink all night and you found the heat from your cheeks annoying. You wished he didn’t make you blush so hard it was crazy. Insane even with how crazy he made you. You could tell Kyubin was a little nervous too, his hands were a bit shaky as he reached for yours intertwining your fingers together.

“I know love. It’s okay to be nervous. I am too.” You raised your eyebrow confused. Kyubin chuckled. “I’m taking your virginity. I am nervous. I worry it won’t be a good experience for you or that I’ll accidentally hurt you. I want this to be good for you. I want to treat you so good and I’m worried that I might screw up.” Kyubin looked away saying nothing. You found it funny that he was so nervous as he’s had sex with other woman and taken their virginity. What was the difference?

“Kyubin,” You said sitting up on your elbows reaching for his face. You gently rubbed his cheek. “how am I any different from all your partners before me?” Kyubin was quiet for a moment his hand reaching up to hold yours as he leaned into your touch. His beautiful eyes looked up at you his beautiful lashes making his eyes even more beautiful. He smiled again.

“You’re so special to me y/n. So special. I just love you so so much and you make me so happy all the time and I want to take care of you and treat you right and you just make me so happy. I can’t describe how you make me feel. My heart is so happy every time I look at you..” Kyubin trailed off and you pulled him towards you bringing your lips to his. You felt the corners of his mouth curve up and it made you smile back. You kissed like this slow and sweet until you both pulled away. Then Kyubin laid you back on the bed and started kissing your lips again. He was so gentle but you could feel the want in his actions, how desperate he was to have you. His lips roamed down your neck and to the valley in between your breasts and down to your stomach. He gave your sides a few gentle squeezes and then he grabbed one of your hands to bring it up to his lips. As he kissed the back of your hand he looked up at you. You breathed in a shaky breath. Your heart had the zoomies.

“I’m ready for you Kyubin.” You giggled. He simply nodded and helped you spread you legs moving himself in between your thighs. He grabbed the lube that was sitting on the bed and put a generous amount on your hip bone. You quietly watched as he dipped his digits into you and you let out a soft moan. When Kyubin thought you were slippery enough he rubbed the rest of the lube on the condom and lined himself up to your entrance.

“I want you to breath okay. Just relax and let me know if you want me to stop.” With his free hand he held your side rubbing the skin with his thumb. You took a deep breath as Kyubin pushed himself into your entrance.

A sharp pain shot through you. He barely put his cock in you and you were squirming. Tears quickly formed with how fast you felt the pain. Kyubin was trying to calm you down by tracing circles on your thighs but you were in too much pain. “Baby I know it hurts I know I’m sorry. The pain with go away I promise.” Kyubin was feeling frantic as he never dealt with this before. He was scared he hurt you too much and he was staring to wonder if you pushed yourself too much and you actually weren’t ready for this. Kyubin started to sweat.

“Make it stop Kyu please it hurts!” Your breathing was off and your cheeks were red the tears coming out like waterworks. “Darling it will hurt if I pull out. I know it hurts I’m sorry love but just wait a bit and it won’t hurt as bad I promise you. Just breath ok, focus on your breathing. You don’t need to be hyperventilating right now.” Your hands were over your face clenching your teeth. Kyubin grabbed your hands and held them in his so you could squeeze them. Which you did. A lot. But Kyubin was a a strong man and you weren’t hurting him as much as he was you. His heart hurt knowing you were in pain and watching you cry over it. He knew how scared you were and seeing you like this made him sad. It made him want to stop and wrap you in his arms and just hold you until the tears stopped.

Kyubin figured it would hurt a lot less pulling out than staying in. “Okay I’m gonna pull out alright?” He said wiping some of your tears away.

“No, no Kyubin.” You cried some more. The pain was unbearable but you didn’t want to throw in the towel. You wanted him, you wanted this.

“But I hate seeing you in pain y/n. I don’t want you to cry you’ll get a horrible headache.” Kyubin was gentle in moving the hair out of your face and making sure you felt his touch hoping it would help calm you down.

“I know but please Kyubin. I want this and I know you’ll take care of me. Like you said the pain will go away and then I’ll be fine please Kyubin I want you, I want this. Please, it’s okay. Take my virginity Kyubin.” You were losing your damn mind over the pain the tears blurring your vision so much you could only see the outline of Kyubin’s head.

Kyubin was smiling at your words. He even felt a little dirty with the way you asked him to take your virginity. “Okay. Let me know what the pain subsides I’ll inch my way in. A little at a time we’ll go as slow as you want okay?” You nodded as you reached up to grab his lower arms.

You inhaled as Kyubin finally bottomed out. He had his entire cock inside you and you felt more stuffed than a Christmas dinner. You felt the way he rested inside your walls, filling you up all the way and you had to admit after all the pain went down it was a weird feeling to have something inside you. It made you feel a mix of aroused and embarrassed. “K-Kyu~” You cooed at him.

“Yes love?” Kyubin’s hands were placed on the mattress on either side of your head. His body was a few inches above yours his face just so close to you. His breathing was hot and heavy like yours and his eyes were so big and beautiful. His hair was in his face again and you cupped his face. He was so pretty like this and you had thoughts about you being on top of him. “Please move. M-make me f-feel good Kyu~” You stuttered the red still hanging out on your cheeks. Kyubin smiled leaning down further to kiss your lips.

Kyubin kept a good pace as he continuously thrusted in and out of you. All the pain was gone and what was complete fear of the unknown and worrying about everything had turned into the most wonderful and beautiful experience you could have ever dreamed of. Kyubin has been a doll throughout it all and you were so grateful to him. He didn’t just fuck you Kyubin was taking his time with you making sure you were comfortable and enjoying yourself. You two were making love both your bodies close and twisting around each other in sweet bliss. You loved the look in his eyes as you looked down at you, the bright sparkle warmed your heart. You loved the way his hair was bouncing around but also sticking to his forehead and you had to constantly move it out of his eyes. You loved the way he’d slow down to kiss your lips and all over your face and body, the way his hands felt in yours and on your body. It made you feel safe and loved. The way he would smile and comment such sweet things to you as if you needed a thousand more reasons to blush.

Everything was going so smooth and perfect. Suddenly your body felt like it was betraying you. You didn’t know how long he had been going but you got the feeling that maybe you were going to have an orgasm soon. Of course you didn’t know what one felt like or the feeling one gets before one happens and for some reason you didn’t want to. Your head felt strange like you were dizzy or your head felt heavy? you couldn’t really describe it. Your vision was not clear at all Kyubin’s face was so blurred you thought you were going blind. Your stomach felt like it was in multiple knots and each thrust felt more and more intense and amplified. Your heartbeat and quickened and when you tried to call out to your dear Kyubin you felt like you were drifting from him.

You started to panic, you tried to focus on your breathing like Kyubin had told you earlier but how could you when you weren’t even sure if breathing was gonna help. “Kyubin!” You cried out.

“Yes darling, you’re doing so good.” Kyubin’s pace sped up and you tried to move your hands but you felt weak. It took all your strength and focus to find Kyubin’s arm and gently squeeze it.

“Kyubin help something’s wrong Kyubin something’s happening!” You yelled out to him. Your vision was even more blurred now as you began to cry. You were completely freaking out and had no idea what to do. You felt him slow down a bit and felt his hand on your face. You knew he was still with you but it didn’t feel like it. It felt like he was getting farther from you and it scared you so much.

“Baby you’re okay, you’re just climaxing, you’re about to have an orgasm. Is it too much? Do you want me to stop?” You heard his voice and you understood what he was saying but your brain was somewhere else. “Y/n talk to me you have to talk to me okay? I can stop.”

“Kyubin you stay with me? Kyubin please..take me Kyubin.” You managed to blurt out your response. You saw a super blurry Kyubin nod.

“Yes my love I’m right here I’m not going anywhere. Do you want me to make you cum?” He asked. Your heart felt like it was bursting. You could only nod your head in response. “Squeeze my hand if you want to cum okay love, you have to respond.” With all your strength you could muster you squeezed his hand and by god that was all the man needed. Kyubin sped up back to the pace he was before and you felt every feeling again.

“Kyubin Kyubin!” You half screamed. “It’s okay to be scared love it’s okay. I’m right here I’m not letting you go.” Kyubin started to slow down and you felt the condom fill up with his cum and that’s what sent you over. All your senses seemed a thousand times more intense as this wild feeling washed over your entire body. You couldn’t describe it really. It was scary but it felt so good.

You let out multiple cries your entire body shaking like crazy. You feel Kyubin’s arms wrap around you his warm chest against yours. You feel his hair tickling your skin as both of you have your faces buried in each other’s necks. He is saying something to you, he’s repeating something you can hear it but your entire body is in such a place that you can no longer comprehend a thing. All you can feel is this incredible high and the warmth coming from Kyubin.

“It’s okay my love you are okay, you’re doing amazing.” You finally hear Kyubin’s words, his sweet whispers next to your ear sends more butterflies to your stomach and makes your heart swell up. “You’re okay you’re such a good girl you did so good. I’m so proud. I’m right here baby. I’ve got you, you’re safe.” As what you could only assume was you coming down from your life changing orgasm you started to become more aware of your surroundings; you saw Kyubin’s face clearly now his eyes looking into yours, you felt yourself holding his hands and you felt his soft and perfect lips meet yours. You would never ever get enough of those lips.

When Kyubin pulled away a bit his thumb reached down to wipe your tears and softly rub your cheek. “My beautiful girl.” Kyubin said rubbing his nose against yours. He kept praising you and whispering such sweet words into your ear you wondered if his words alone could make you cum. He made you feel so special and loved, it made you so happy in a way you’d never be able to describe. “I’m going to pull out okay? I’ll go slow.” Kyubin raised up a bit and with one hand held the condom so nothing came out and with the other rubbed your stomach to keep you calm in case him pulling out got you riled up again. Kyubin got off the bed to throw the condom away and then climbed back over you.

He gently moved your hair out of your face so you could see him clearly. He was smiling so wide he was glowing. It made you smile back. You two just looked in each other’s eyes for awhile before he kissed you a few times on the lips. Then he went to get up again but you gently grabbed his wrist feeling very sensitive and needy right now.

“Where are you going?” You asked softly. You’re brain was still a little mushy from your orgasm so speaking was a little hard at the moment. Kyubin turned to you cupping your cheek with one hand while his wrist was being held by you.

“I’m gonna get you some water and a towel I’ll be right back ok?” Kyubin went to move away his wrist slipping out of your grasp. You slightly panicked and you quickly grabbed his arm. “Noooo stay here please. I need you Kyu~” water was all the way in the kitchen and you wanted and needed Kyubin here in the bedroom. Kyubin looked at your cute pout and smiled giving you a soft peck on the lips before getting off the bed. With Kyubin’s warm body not touching yours you felt cold. You wrapped your arms around yourself. “Relax love, I have water here,” Kyubin said. You watched him go into the corner of the room and then you remember he keeps a mini fridge next to the window. In the beginning you told him you didn’t want a mini fridge in your room. You didn’t think it was necessary, Kyubin could just go downstairs and get water why does he need a mini fridge in his room anyway? But every night Kyubin was getting out of bed to get a glass of water or he would leave just to get something to drink. You realized Kyubin was also parched especially at night so you let him keep the mini fridge. He always kept it full but he was constantly drinking bottle after bottle of water. Especially after working out. Now you were glad for the mini fridge. Now he didn’t have to leave you for very long. You smiled as he came back with a towel in one hand and one of his t-shirts and a water bottle in the other.

Kyubin helped you sit up on the bed holding you close to him as he held the bottle up to your lips. You took a few sips and Kyubin cleaned you and him up a bit with the towel before he helped you into his shirt. He stopped and looked down at you before speaking. “How do you feel? There was a lot more blood than I thought there would be.”

“I’m okay Kyubin, just a little tired and I’ll probably be really sore soon.” kyubin pulled you into him and kissed your temple.

“You don’t have to get out of bed tomorrow okay? I’ll care take of you. Just relax right now. You did so good my love.”

Settling in Kyubin’s arms, his hand slowly rubbed the small of your back and went up to pet your head. He hummed and kissed your forehead while you melted into him. “I’m so proud of you y/n. I know that you were very scared and worried but you did so well. Thank you.” You looked up at Kyubin with a confused look on your face. Kyubin smiled and grabbed your hand intertwining his fingers with yours. “Because you finally had enough confidence and bravery to open up to me like this. Sex is very big and I know how you felt about it and how you were always so self conscious about getting intimate and I’m just so happy and proud of you for being at the point where you are ready and willing and I’m so glad that you have so much trust in me and that together we were able to explore ourselves and each other’s bodies and love in another way. I mean, for so long you would only let me kiss you cheek or forehead and then you started letting me kiss your lips and neck and touch your waist and thighs and now,” Kyubin paused, you heard him choke up. Sitting up to look at your boyfriend fully you were surprised to see his waterline becoming, well, water. Kyubin was crying and you had never really seen him cry. At least not at something like this. “I’m sorry I’m just, I mean..god y/n I am so fucking proud of you and so so happy that you trusted me enough to get this intimate with you and I just.” Kyubin allowed tears to fall from his eyes and you watched the clear drops roll down his beautiful cheekbones. He squeezed your hand as a way of letting you know he was alright.

For a long while you two just looked into each other’s eyes. Kyubin’s were red from crying but he was still the most beautiful man you had ever seen in your entire life. His beauty showed in more than one way and suddenly you were filled with so many emotions you started to cry. This only brought more tears into Kyubin’s eyes. “Oh Kyubin I love you.” You exclaimed quite literally throwing your arms around him. Your arms wrapped around his neck, your face buried in his chest.

Kyubin’s arms gently wrapped around your waist, one hand on the small of your back to other petting your hair. “I love you too darling. I love you and I am in love with you and I always will be and I will never stop. Ever.”

JESUS FUCK I’m sorry if this was too long but boy I do be proud of myself indeed. I’m sorry Kyubin just makes me feel certain things. I hope anyone reading this enjoyed it uwu.

#onlyoneof #kb #kyubin #shin kyubin #onlyoneof fanfics #onlyoneof smut #onlyoneof fluff #kyubin fanfics #kyubin smut #kyubin fluff #shin kyubin fanfics #shin kyubin smut #shin kyubin fluff #kpop fanfics #kpop smut #kpop fluff #fanfics #smut #fluff

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shemarmooresfedora · 3 years

Text

Sugary Sweet Apologies

Summary: You and Reid never really got along but when he saves your life, you decide to be the bigger person and thank him and hopefully start over. Unfortunately, it isn’t that easy.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader

Content/Warnings: light to mild angst with fluffy ending, swearing, spencer reid being an annoying bitch, brief mentions of case stuff (if you watch cm, you should be fine)

A/N: this is for @willowrose99 ‘s 1 year anniversary on tumblr writing challenge!! congrats! i literally wrote and edited this whole thing in less than one day because i got so excited, anyways i hope you enjoy!

Word Count: 1.8k

“Reid and Y/L/N, go to David Whitney’s house. He was the therapist of two of the three victims. He could have some insight into the victimology and know of any overlap between them. He has no criminal record of past aggressive behavior but we can’t rule him out as a suspect entirely,” Hotch stated.

“Hotch, you stuck me with her yesterday for the geographical profiling. Send Prentiss with her instead,” Spencer whined.

“I don’t mind going with Y/L/N. She is a great partner in the field,” Emily glared at Spencer.

“No. Reid, go with Y/L/N or be taken off this case. I’m a unit chief, not an elementary school teacher. I don’t have time for temper tantrums,” Hotch chided.

“Fine,” Spencer grumbled as you grabbed the keys to an SUV.

You don’t know what it was but ever since you started at the BAU four months ago, Spencer had never liked you which resulted in you disliking him as well. Everyone else on the team was super friendly and welcoming but Reid always was jabbing snarky remarks your way like “I don’t have time to explain it to you” or “This was in the FBI handbook. God, you need more training.”

Luckily, the others were quick to defend you. Once Garcia even heard him snip at you over the phone and as soon as you all got off the elevator after the case, Reid was being dragged by his ear into Garcia’s lair with him going “ow ow ow” behind her. So, you didn’t really pay much mind to him because you could deal with one annoying know-it-all to have such an amazing job with great coworkers minus the one.

“Look, I’m not happy about this either,” you said as you climbed into the driver’s side of the SUV, “But at least I’m not being a whiny bitch about it and being rude to the other person’s face.”

“Oh wow, I’m so sorry that I hurt your feelings,” Spencer mocked.

“Fuck you, Reid,” you shook your head.

David Whitney was on edge the second you arrived and showed him your badges. He was bouncing his leg up and down, he couldn’t sit still, and he kept avoiding eye contact.

He knew way too much about the other victim that wasn’t even one of his clients but you didn’t have anything solid on him. His house seemed very neat so you doubted he kept anything incriminating here. Organized offenders usually have a secondary location. So, you decided to push his buttons a little.

“I mean blitz attacks, leaving the bodies on the side of dirt roads,” you combed through the crime scene photos, “This guy was a real coward.”

Spencer picked up on what you were trying to do and his eyes widened, he was subtly shaking his head and mouthing “no”.

“Excuse me?” David asked.

“Well, I’m just saying a real man wouldn’t cower in the bushes and blindside a woman. He must not be very strong,” you stated, “He probably can’t even get it up.”

Before you even had time to react, David pulled out a switchblade knife from inside the couch cushions and put you in a chokehold, pressing the cool metal up to your throat. You closed your eyes tightly.

“David, you don’t have to do this,” Spencer stood with his gun pointed at you both.

“This bitch insulted me,” he snarled.

“She insults me too. That doesn’t make you any less of a man,” Spencer spoke carefully, “Just put the knife down and I’ll escort you out.”

David sighed, dropping the knife to the floor and releasing you.

Spencer put David in handcuffs and walked him outside as reinforcements came running in.

“Are you okay, Y/L/N?” Hotch asked.

“Yep, a little shaken up but fine. Thank you,” you stood.

“Let’s get you to the medics,” Morgan grabbed your arm to support you as you walked over to the ambulance.

Spencer never checked on you.

You knew your decision in the field was a little rash and you wanted to thank Spencer for essentially saving your life.

However, there was no way in hell you could verbally get out an apology while staring at his smug face, but you could bake. You settled on a note tucked inside a tupperware container of your Grandma’s special recipe of chocolate chip cookies. It was a good peace offering, maybe even a chance to start fresh.

During your lunch break, you took the tupperware from your desk drawer and approached the break room where Reid had entered about 5 minutes ago.

“I’m just saying I could not have been more clear in my message to her that it was too dangerous but of course, Y/L/N didn’t listen cause Y/L/N is going to do whatever she feels like,” Spencer stirred his coffee.

No one had noticed you standing in the doorway yet.

“Reid, you’ve got to be nicer to her. She earned her spot here just like the rest of us,” Emily defended you.

“Did she though? How much do we really know about her? She couldn’t even tell me how many pages the FBI protocol manual was,” Spencer said.

“That’s not a normal thing people know,” Morgan retorted.

“Well, I’m just saying the team was perfectly fine before her and it would probably be better off if she left,” Reid finished.

Garcia looked up from her yogurt to see you standing there, “Oh, Y/N”.

Spencer turned around in his chair as you angrily stormed up to him.

“Here’s your cookies, asshole,” you seethed, grabbing the note from inside and crumpling it up into a little ball and tossing it into the trash.

“Y/N!” Emily called after you but you were already gone.

The whole team glared at Spencer and picked up their lunches, leaving him alone at the table.

Spencer retrieved the balled up paper from the trash, having to fish through Rossi’s week old pasta and Anderson’s half eaten tuna fish sandwich.

Dear Reid,

Thank you for saving my life, I guess. These are my Grandma’s secret recipe for chocolate chip cookies so I hope you enjoy. I think we got off on the wrong foot and I would like to start over. I think cases would be a lot less miserable for everyone if we got along.

Thanks again,

Y/L/N

Spencer, you’re such an idiot, he thought to himself.

You never came back after your lunch break ended and Derek made Spencer go tell Hotch why it’s his fault you were missing the rest of the day.

He tried to call you multiple times but they always rang out before going to voicemail.

Spencer hesitantly knocked on Penelope’s door at the end of the day.

“Is she okay?” he asked softly.

“You don’t get to ask that as the person who hurt her in the first place. Also, she told me to tell you that don’t you dare go to her apartment to ‘check on her’. I’m headed over there myself actually,” Penelope collected her things and shut off her monitors.

“Will you at least tell her I’m really sorry?” Spencer followed her to the elevator.

“Absolutely not. I’m not doing any apologizing on your behalf,” Penelope huffed as the elevators shut.

You came in the next morning, keeping your head down. You grabbed a pen from your cup holder and the first folder on your stack before getting to work.

You were on the second page of the file when your clean, empty tupperware was placed in front of you plus another baking dish with aluminum foil over the top.

You glanced up to see Spencer guiltily looking down at you and you returned your eyes back to the file.

“I-I made you cinnamon rolls,” Spencer broke the silence.

“Are they poisoned?” you asked, not sparing him another glance.

“No, they’re not poisoned,” he assured you.

“I’m just saying how can I trust you as you have made it very apparent you would like me off this team.”

“I didn’t mean that,” Spencer was quick to reply.

“Then why the hell did you say it, Reid?” you slammed your pen down.

You grabbed your empty coffee mug and briskly walked to the break room but unfortunately, Spencer was right behind you.

“I didn’t eat any of your cookies by the way. Not that I didn’t want to but I felt like I didn’t deserve them so I handed them out to everyone else.”

“Oh how kind, taking credit for my work,” you tried to close the door in his face.

“I told them that they were from you,” Spencer insisted.

You rolled your eyes as Spencer grabbed the coffee pot before you could get to it, pouring your mug of coffee for you.

“What do you want from me, Reid?” you asked defeatedly.

“I want you to try a cinnamon roll and let me explain.”

“Fine but only because I didn’t have breakfast yet and I want to critique your baking skills,” you huffed, walking back to your desk.

Spencer gingerly placed one of the sticky frosting-coated rolls on a napkin and pushed it towards you. You tentatively bit into it. Damn it, it was actually delicious.

“It’s okay,” you understated.

You knew Spencer hardly ever used his kitchen let alone be up baking all night. He even chose a recipe that required more time and effort because the yeast dough would have to rise for a few hours.

“That’s good. The first batch didn’t come out as great...or the second,” he smiled softly.

“Well, the floor is all yours, Reid. Please explain to me why you talk shit about me to my co-workers when I’m in the other room,” you leaned back in your chair and crossed your arms.

Spencer muttered something incoherent.

“I have to hear the apology, you know,” you said, enjoying watching him uncomfortable.

“You’re intimidating to me because you’re intelligent, beautiful, and courageous. I think I was a little jealous that my spotlight as the ‘kid’ of the BAU was coming to an end so I said some harsh, completely untrue things and I’m sincerely sorry.”

“Oh my god,” you smirked, “Hotch was right, you are an elementary school kid.”

“In what way?” he curiously asked.

“You like me like like like me. You don’t know how to talk to the girl so you pull her pigtails on the playground,” you giggled.

“I take it back. You’re a horrible profiler,” Spencer was getting up from his seat, completely flustered.

“Awww,” you were laughing at Spencer’s bright red face as he went to go to the break room to fill his coffee mug.

When he got back to his desk, a sticky note was placed front and center.

In typical elementary school fashion…

Will you go get coffee with me?

Check:

Yes

Spencer smiled before picking up his pen and checking one of the boxes, crumpling the sticky note up into a ball and throwing it over to your desk.

“Good choice. See you Saturday at 9 at the cafe down the street,” you grinned.

“It’s a date,” he smiled.

#willsannievent #spencer reid x you #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid angst #spencer reid fluff #spencer x reader #reid x reader #spencer reid #cm fanfic #criminal minds

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tofumedic · 3 years

Text

general relationship hcs with the brothers!!

summary// how i interpret how they love you(gn! mc)

Lucifer

he gets softer, he tries not to show it in public or anywhere with peeping brothers trying to get dirt on his image

but he unwinds, theres tension in his shoulders and stance completely but you look at him and he just goes "ah. nice."

he definitely covers it up by correcting his posture and with a small cough but satan just gives him a look

he holds less venom until the problem children of the house make new big trouble

he requests you to join him in his study only when hes certain that you aren't busy or dealing with RAD work he feels bad interrupting

is secretly proud of himself for not bothering you

anyways likes inviting you to listen to his records with him and if you ask or are feeling bad will let you pick one of the records he bought you

if you have a favorite of his own he will play it consistently he memorizes the grooves of that vinyl

he hums it to get your attention just to catch your eyes y'know? small things like that keep him going until he's not as busy

Mammon

he's always at your rescue, trying to be close by like a support dog he wants to make sure youre feeling okay

loves answering questions for you but plays it off as an annoyance he wants you to not think he's as dumb as his brothers say

leaves little pieces of himself with you, jackets of his in your room, has a copy of his bathroom stuff sharing counter and shower space with yours

he doesn't mean to in a bad way but he snoops, looking for a shirt that would look totally super good on him why would you own whats clearly his huh? just wants to be reminded of you

he takes in as much as he can, his eyes dart over everything in your room learning its place for different items, piecing together how things are you

it affects his greed bc now he picks up stuff that reminds him of you even simple stuff like you mentioned you needed a shelf? -oh god be damned he bought a set of them in your favorite color because they were on his mind

learns your mannerisms, has a major thing about mirroring you. he even starts laughing a bit more like you when your gone like he's filling your space

Leviathan

MC would you pretty please match icons with me *the pointy finger emotes*

adores finding characters that act like you and ones that act like him, it makes him ship pairings he may have not cared for previously bc subconsciously... those are you two

he would change your contact to henry with one of the cute face emoticons and some hearts but if someone like his brothers see it and mention it its just "mc normie 🧍‍♂️" for like a week during his recovery

he just wants to share what he likes with you!!!

he gets trusting with you believing you're safe to know about his interests and will info dump to you about his hyperfixations

and he equally wants to know about yours even if he already knows he will ask you questions to get you to share more and it makes him so happy he just melts at hearing you happy

and the fact it's just a special thing between you two? he's over the moon its such a flex that when his brothers try to steal you away they are too confused like you two are talking in code

Satan

he loves sharing space with you

as in he likes your company but he also likes that he can still read while you do something else because he gets to enjoy you and his studies of the moment

even if he doesn't share them depending on if he's ready to if it's really personal or for an event, he will write about you

sometimes they're poems, usually free-form unless hes feeling in a certain mood mainly so he doesn't have to worry about not using words he feels suit you but don't fit his rhythm scheme. sometimes they're full stories just rushed writings until he's not as full of love that its so overwhelming

this means its rushed with pen smearing from his hand having rested on the paper, words slanted and becoming cursive in order for his speed to be faster, he always writes in one sitting or will lose the motivation but its always based on you and how he feels about you that are his best pieces

you're his muse and shows it in how even if he's less physically attentive he does start to push into your small affections like holding his face or holding his hand, he leans into you like a cat taking a nap in the sun

Asmodeus

he asks you for your favorite kinds of affection, your least favorites, requests you all time, he wants to make you the most pleased the most comfortable so you enjoy the attention as much as he does

he also likes matching with you but in the way of clothes or doing your hair to match his or making kandi bracelets that have each other names or him wearing lipstick and you wearing a colored kiss pressed in sweet visible places. anywhere on your face is free game

he's a spot thief if anyone leaves you alone for a moment he's soaking up the attention, a hard believer of finders keepers. he likes filling spots he wants to help you feel complete, he wants to be there for you

real full love is hard for him, it's hard to believe in but after forming the pact he comes to terms that it's not just infatuation

talks with him will become more personal and deep instead talking about his brothers or just gossip to keep you updated though you of course still get it but its not a shield anymore if he's gonna be... bare with you he will do it fully

he starts saving objects like glass drink bottles or tickets or receipts from cute cafes, he loves photos especially of you but also of date scenery, of you with him even if its just your hands or your legs pressed against his while sitting. he likes the proof that you're real that you like him for real

Beelzebub

he makes sure you eat but only if you want to! humans eat so little are you sure you don't want dessert with him? you can share he can get an extra spoon

he tries to keep you safe even from yourself, he might be a little slow but he learns your tells if you give him time you chased off his nightmares so he has to do the same you deserve it

he enjoys simple intimacy like hugs and holding hands and stuff like that just for reminders but he also likes bumping into you just lightly he doesn't want you to fall but if you take an extra step after he has a small smile, rubbing against you with his head if his mouth is full or if talking is tough

will add some of your favorite foods to a list of his favorites because you're his favorite! he will also recommend stuff close to your favorites he looks out for them

he's another that enjoys your company going to you or a space thats full of you like your room just makes him feel more at ease, it's not uncommon for him to subconsciously just follow a few feet behind you while you're moving around

(this also leads to a slower set of footsteps following at an even further distance, its belphie following his mobile heating pads for sleeping if he could be bothered enough)

Belphegor

he's your new weighted blanket and youre the pillow it's a whole set, his complaints light hearted about his pillow moving so much when you give him small head pets

he includes you in schemes with satan deciding not to hide the truth like you again originally trying to make up his apology through his actions

he's very smart! he's fast on learning on how you're feeling depending on your body language or if he put his elbow in a bad spot while laying down

now know when asmo said that he(belphie) has the greatest smile you get that for free! sometimes you do have to pay the toll in naps or just pillowing him or doing something to make beel smile

his love is his trust, it's your trust, its proving himself not only to you but to his brothers and himself. you deserve the best and so he has to be that. his love is learning thats he's already earned yours in his regret and his growth

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