#is just me taking a tragedy and making it a personal fantasy to reflect my values and desires

[badolmen]

I actually don’t really like it when a modern interpretation or retelling of a myth is considered ‘fixing it’ because ‘it was too fucked up.’ It’s less about making it less fucked up and more about retelling the story to suit both the different values of the modern era and having it reflect the author’s personal values.

#ra speaks #personal #re: my Ariadne and asterius Minotaur short story #the original is a tragedy from so many facets and it’s a GREAT story #that’s why it’s stuck around for so long #me writing a version where the sister saves her brother. as someone who’s younger brothers sometimes feel beyond my ability to help #is just me taking a tragedy and making it a personal fantasy to reflect my values and desires #And y’know What sometimes I desire tragedy. I desire horror and grief and fucked up shit. catharsis. #but sometimes I want something soft and I’ll indulge when it’s needed.

[whetstonefires]

So I was thinking about that passage where we hear about how Jiang Fengmian got so excited that Jiang Cheng was willing to be friends with Wei Wuxian that he hugged Wei Wuxian, and this broke 8-year-old Jiang Cheng's heart, because he loved to be held by his father, but his father almost never held him.

(Which led to Jiang Cheng kicking Wei Wuxian out and threatening to sic dogs on him, which made Wei Wuxian panic so badly he went and hid up a tree from these entirely hypothetical dogs, and Jiang Yanli went and found him, and then found Jiang Cheng in a hole and had to carry them both home, and their relationship was sealed by a mutual pact to hide the whole episode from both parents.)

Because the thing is, Jiang Cheng very much had something to be upset about! Wei Wuxian was a treasure and a joy to his father, something recovered beyond all hope, everything he could want in a disciple and the last remainder of the person or people he'd loved best.

And Jiang Cheng was a duty.

That was the entire reason for his existence: he was born out of his parents' obligation to produce a male heir for the Jiang.

Jiang Fengmian takes his duty seriously, but finds in it no joy, and that joylessness informed his relationship with his son at every turn.

And this is the same kind of tragedy as every other in this book. Because it's not that Jiang Cheng's father didn't love him, wasn't visibly fond of him; if there hadn't been this other person here he actually liked, the absence where he struggled to connect with him would have been felt, but it would have been less crushing.

...then, too, if his mother hadn't built that rivalry up the way she did, it would have hurt Jiang Cheng a lot less.

And been less of a thing! It's painfully obvious a lot of the aversion and distance between them is a product of Yu Ziyuan running in and screaming at her husband about how he's the worst and everything is about her at unpredictable intervals.

And of course, it's a lot harder to figure out how to compensate for your own partiality when you're also, simultaneously, trying to compensate for the partiality of another person who keeps insisting the only way to uphold the natural social order is to engage in systematic child abuse. The degree to which you cannot objectively handle a complex emotional situation while someone keeps yelling at you that you should do something morally repugnant or you're Bad cannot be overstated.

I really appreciate Yu Ziyuan as a character, but the heights of her incompetence and active malice as a parent are staggering.

But I was just reflecting on Jiang Fengmian's basic failure to grasp, right out the gate, that his eight year old was parched for affection and that giving more of it to someone else in front of him was going to hurt him. And I was like, haha that's only child behavior right there.

And then I was like. Holy shit. It is only child behavior! Like. Jiang Fengmian was an only child!

Like, duh, but that makes him a serious outlier! Most of the major characters in this story have siblings! It's an outrageously sibling-dynamic-driven book. Yu Ziyuan has at least two elder sisters, and could have any number of brothers or younger sisters--no shit she instinctively interpreted this situation through a lens of sibling rivalry!

Meanwhile that's going right over her husband's head because he's just like, okay going to vicariously live out my childhood fantasy where Changze got all the same advantages as me. 💖😊

#hoc est meum #jiang fengmian #jiang family values #i'm obsessed with them #mdzs #meta #i also think jfm's father was a cruel person #and a lot of his everything is reacting against that #but this is wholly speculative #it's just a common reason for someone to be avoidant in those specific ways #he and yzy are such a bad match rip

[utilitycaster]

I can't speak for anyone else but the thing about the Mighty Nein depiction criticisms is that, in and of itself, this is tiny and inconsequential and it is on some level very silly it's a hot topic of discussion. But it also manages to hit nearly everything that frustrates me in fandom.

It's about the belief that fanon is better simply because it is fanon. It's about people saying "haha, I rub my grubby hands on the canon" and then become furious when people look at what they've made - something sticky, sweaty, jam-covered, and crumpled - and choose to walk past it.

It's about how people will claim that fix-it-fics are always better, actually, because isn't it always better when they recover? And then when a show actually shows recovery, in far more depth than most depictions have room to offer, and it's realistic, which is to say, nonlinear and messy, detailed and unglamorous, they hate it.

It's about how Fjord and Jester's dying plants mean unhappiness (and a specific type of unhappiness no less) but Beau, Yasha, and Caleb's thriving plants don't mean happiness. It's about being able to fabricate paragraphs in favor of what you always wanted from a single blink, a glance, a word, the cast's physical appearance in an episode they did not explicitly dress up for; but when the story says in blunt, direct terms that the color of this character's hair is a direct reflection of the state of their mind, rejecting it for the aesthetic. It's about complaining that it's not that deep when the depth says something you don't like, and then turning around and digging as far as you personally need to support a pre-existing belief.

It's about how when Caduceus was shown with his pink hair fading, there was an almost gleefully morbid speculation of "is he dying? oh god I hope he both is and isn't dying, I want the thrill of unresolved angst but if he actually dies I will throw a fit." And then the answer was actually both deeply mundane and also fascinating with regards to his character arc, and suddenly no one wanted to talk about it. It's about a detestation for showing the incremental yet fractal nature of life. It's about wanting everything to be a tentpole blockbuster Save-The-Cat just-the-hits carbon copy formula while simultaneously claiming it would be more original and interesting to do so.

It's about thinking of media not as entertainment or even meaning, but simply as a vehicle of representation and how the show you already watch must become all things to you. Sure! Would be cool to have more US Southern Accents in fantasy! But that isn't Fjord's story, and indeed, the banality of the accent is the point. It's okay to want a southern accent; but there is this irrational demand in fandom that whatever you're already watching provide everything, instead of taking the frankly very minimal effort to branch out and find something else that does.

It's about how so many people don't want a story; they want a snapshot. They want one single moment in time, one where the people in their ship kiss; where their favorite character receives a frozen instant of catharsis; the inhale just before the life-altering decision, endlessly teetering on the precipice of corruption. But there's no understanding of how to make the story that is actually happening reach that point, and no understanding of what happens when the characters pull away from the kiss, wipe away their tears, make the choice, and keep moving forward.

It's about simultaneously treating characters as real people: that death is never justified, that tragedy is always terrible; and then turning around and screaming at the characters when they act as though, within the story, they have agency. They can live - they must live - but only if they dance on your command. It's about the complete reverse and scornful rejection of how one must see characters if you want to actually say anything worth saying in fiction, as tools of a narrative and yet also rich and real and able to move on their own even when you're not looking.

It's about wanting mirrors and never windows; it's about a profound inability to surrender control and actually listen to what someone who is not exactly you has to say, yet telling yourself this is diversity; it's about potential energy that never once becomes kinetic; it's about style with no substance; it's glossy, and it's hollow, and I am so tired of all of it.

#this is a rant that i have had within me a long time #that sort of coalesced #and I could frankly go on #you know how i've said the calamity wrap up brennan lines all basically echo in my head? #the you love when people hurt you hate when things stand tall line is INDELIBLY imprinted as a watermark in front of all meta i read #cr discourse #critical role spoilers

[suratan-zir]

Another unbelievably ignorant russian comment under one of my posts. Under my recent reblog about Chasiv Yar.

This translates to: "Do you make sims content or a war propaganda?"

I won't even hide the name of the person who wrote this, I don't care. I mean, the fact that they write it to me in russian already says a lot. Where do I start?

This was a sims blog. It was a place where I had fun sharing my content and admiring other people's games. Even when I was living under russian occupation and essentially in a war zone, I was still able to just take my mind off it and relax, playing in a fantasy world where everything was fine, knowing that peaceful and free Ukraine still exists somewhere and I will move there eventually.

I can't do this anymore. Russia killed peaceful Ukraine. Living in russia, where nothing fundamentally changed in your life in one morning on February 24, you are unable to understand me. You don't want to understand Ukrainians.

We watch our entire cities being burnt to the ground, our people die from russian attacks, buried under the rubble of what was once their home. We mourn loss after loss every single day. We've learned to ignore air raid alerts because they happen so often that you simply can't live your life hiding all the time. Everyone who stayed in Ukraine accepted the fact that shit can happen to any of us at any moment. Nowhere is safe.

And while your taxes, like value-added tax from every single little thing you buy living in russia - goes to support p*tin's army and this genocidal war, while 144 million of you doing nothing to stop this, you have the audacity to blame me for posting whatever the hell I want on my own blog?

Is the desire to stop the killing of innocent people considered "war propaganda"?

45 innocent people in Chasiv Yar went to bed on July 10 only to never wake up again. And dozens of others ended up under the rubble or lost their loved ones forever. Russia killed them and thousands of others. Because they happen to live in Ukraine.

How is my desire to tell about this tragedy is a "war propaganda"?

This is Donetsk region, Donbas - the same Donbas that your modern hitler pretends to "liberate". The same Donbas where many people used to think that russia is their friend and russians are their "brothers". Brothers who came to kill us all.

First, your country attacks mine, kills thousands of people and makes life hell for all who survived, so that later you could comment under one of my posts about this war to complain about the lack of sims content. Unfuckingbelievable.

Since the beginning of the war, I changed my blog bio to reflect what my posts are about. I also made several posts talking about what tags you can block if you don't give a fuck about some dying Ukrainians. Hell, I even made a whole dedicated blog only for sims content. But I have around 2k followers, and if my posts encourage at least one person out of these 2 thousand to donate to support Ukraine or spread the information, then it's not in vain. I have to use what tiny influence I have to help my country, just like any other Ukrainian now. Although sometimes in moments like this I really consider leaving tumblr.

#ukraine #war in ukraine #russia #russians being russians

[sapphire-weapon]

Hey it's the anon from the other recent Luis act. And yeah, I'm drawing off the remake. While I like the OG, I appreciate it but I prefer the remake for it's themes and expansion on Luis's story. (I'm a sucker for tragedies). I sort of feel as though Luis and Leon had a healthier relationship than most of Leon's relationships after Raccoon City. It makes what happens a bit more...I'm not sure if I'd say bittersweet but it makes me chew on the nature of their relationship more than the OG did. That death scene hit hard.

I'm about to say something controversial: I also prefer the remake. In my mind, the remake deletes OG and overwrites it the same way the original REmake did for RE1. I was actually surprised to peek back into fandom and find that I was in the minority on that among the Old Guard.

Like. Look, man. I've been playing RE for over 25 years. I grew up playing it. And RE4 OG changed my life; I would not have the friends I have today, and I would not be the person I am today if I hadn't played RE4 as a teenager. And I'm also very, very aware of the ways in which OG changed video games as a medium forever.

RE4 OG will always be one of the most important and influential video games ever made -- it's up there with Final Fantasy VII and Ocarina of Time in terms of pushing the medium forward. And nothing can ever take that away from it.

But the remake is a superior version of it in every single way and by every single conceivable measure. In my mind, that doesn't diminish OG or what it did; it enhances it. RE1 is greater for what REmake did with it, and RE4 is greater for what RE4make did with it. And I feel that, over time, people are going to say "you can skip the original RE4" when their friends get into RE, the same way they do now with RE1 and REmake.

And that's just how I feel about it.

Sorry. I just had to get that out. I've been holding it in for a while lmao

Anyway, in terms of your actual ask...

When you say that Leon and Luis's relationship is "healthier" than most of his relationships post-RE2, I'd say that that's more of a condemnation of his other relationships than it is a compliment to the one he has with Luis lmao

Leon just becomes a dysfunctional person in general post-RE2, and so his relationships are a reflection of that. I made a joke the other day:

Leon "I love Sherry like she's my daughter but also every time I see or speak to her I want to kill myself" Kennedy

And, while, yeah it's a joke... it's also kind of not. That is kind of where he's at mentally.

So, I feel like his relationship with Luis isn't any more or less healthy than any of his other relationships, but rather that the way he interprets the relationship is healthier than the others. If that makes sense?

Because, like. As it's happening, that relationship is one built on deception and distrust. Leon immediately finds him suspicious and then immediately fucking hates him as soon as he finds out that Luis is ex-Umbrella, and the next time they see each other, Leon tries to kick his ass. Leon warms up to him slightly over time, but he's still trying to interrogate Luis even on the elevator ride up to Luis getting stabbed.

It's only in hindsight, after Luis's death, that Leon stops and really reflects on the man and what he was actually trying to do.

Chances are, if Luis had lived, their relationship would've just continued on the same path it'd already been on: with Luis trying to charm his way into Leon's pants him, and Leon being a little bitch about it. Leon wouldn't have bothered thinking about him any more deeply than "fucking Umbrella" because of his own pre-existing trauma.

But it was the way in which Luis went out that caused the record scratch in Leon's head and forced him to hard stop and really re-examine his thinking.

And that's what I think is so masterful about the complete reworking of their relationship from OG to remake. Regardless of which version of the story you're looking at, people die around Leon. A lot. Sometimes, people die because of Leon.

Luis is the only person who's ever died for him.

If Luis hadn't dragged himself down onto the catwalk and forced himself to stand, aim, and fire his weapon in order to save Leon's life -- he probably could have lived. And to purposefully squash his own chance at living to save someone else? That goes against all of Leon's baked-in biases about Umbrella researchers.

Not only that, but to someone like Leon, who's already plagued with a horrible case of survivor's guilt on top of his pre-existing hero complex, that's a Big Fucking Deal no matter who it is.

So, really, the saddest and most tragic part about Leon and Luis is that their relationship only became meaningful because Luis died.

But. You know. At the same time, if that's not the most Shakespearean romance shit you've ever heard, I don't know what is.

#resident evil 4 #leon kennedy #luis serra #meta analysis

[frozen-fountain]

Summer reading-writing-creation tag game

Tagged by @vcaudley.

describe one creative WIP project you want to work on this summer: The big one, that I'm closing in on the end of the first act of the first draft of, concerns Cloud and Tifa FFVII trying to repair both their relationship and their world after the events of the game, over-compensating for their lost youth with a lot of ill-advised sex and substance use, to decidedly mixed results. It's about doing human connection the hard way, shaking a rigidly constructed identity in favour of fluidity, and the non-linear process of peaks and troughs that is recovering from life in the world as it is. I figured the sticky, sweaty, and uncomfortable season would be more bearable if I could essentially frame it as method writing. In this one I get to delve into the day-to-day workings of the proto-anarchist village that's been the main setting of the series this fic belongs to, since previous stories were smaller in scope or contred on characters who aren't as central to its running; I'm also going to bring in some elements of the wider worldbuilding I'm excited for soon. If anyone thinks the whole thing is too rose-tinted, they won't for long.

I also like to cross shorter fics off my list between drafts of bigger ones. It gives me more space to reflect on what I've written and what it needs, and also lets me get a fix of the heady rush of finishing and posting something while plugging away at a longfic. Next on that docket, I think, is a weird thing about Shadow from FFVI. It's been well over a decade since I attempted second person POV, but some characters are crying out for it and I think his fractured headspace is one. I also want to use it to try to make something resembling sense of the train that takes you to the afterlife. Nothing too concrete for this one yet, but I tend to find my oneshots during the writing process anyway.

recommend a book: If not cultivating despair is the theme for today, then I think everyone, everyone, should read Braiding Sweetgrass by Robin Kimmerer and A Paradise Built in Hell by Rebecca Solnit. The former is the chronicle of an Anishinaabe botanist's journey in reconciling her studies with her cultural heritage surrounding the natural world and our place in it; the latter concerns the co-operation, community-building, and mutual aid that the author observes emerging in the aftermath of horrific disasters. Both are highly readable with Braiding Sweetgrass especially flowing like poetry, and if you're looking for antidotes to doomerism or inroads into reading more non-fiction, you could do a lot worse.

recommend a fic: I'll do what I usually do and recommend this series again. Not just because the author is a dear friend (though that's true), or because anyone can jump in even without prior fandom knowledge (as is that), but because it deserves so much more readership than it's gotten. If you enjoy dark fantasy, lush atmospheric prose, slow-building tragedy, and/or bittersweet and complicated bonds between bittersweet and complicated characters that drive their narrative, you'll find a lot to love here.

recommend music: Potentially my favourite album of the year so far is Katie Gately's Fawn/Brute, so here's one of the title tracks from it. She's been making gripping and unique bangers for about ten years, but for as much as I enjoyed her previous albums I found them pretty inconsistent overall; on this one, though, she really pulled it all together.

share some advice: If you feel discouraged from expressing yourself creatively due to the reception (or lack thereof) work that you poured yourself into is meeting, well, that's understandable. But I think it's really worth sitting with that disappointment and demoralisation and asking yourself; what would be enough? What would have to happen, what would need to be said to and about you, and how high would the numbers have to climb for you to feel the effort was worth it?

That's not an easy question to answer, at least in my experience. And while it's of course natural that we want these pieces of ourselves to resonate somewhere, it's too easy to get caught up in the numbers and the ratios and the need for some impossible concrete proof that we haven't failed. And when that starts to obscure our pride in our work and the connections we have made through it, that's tragic. It's an impossible standard to hold your beloved work to, that it'll fix what's missing in your life that's got you feeling so down on it. And I'm speaking about myself here - and to myself - and would not want to assume this is universal. But it's something to think about.

Stop looking for reasons to discredit yourself, basically. God knows this capitalist hellworld will give you enough of them simply by merit of having to exist in it.

Almost forgot! I nominate @bowiesinspace, @ourspecial, @keioschaos, @hrh-spinach, @visualheresy, and @danceswithdarkspawn if you're so inclined!

#froze fics #froze tunes

[construingseacats]

Umireread: Turn of the Golden Witch - Chapter 5: Guest of Honor  

Sat, Oct 4 1986 - 10:45AM

The following contains spoilers for the entirety of Umineko. Please do not read if you are yet to finish it.

I think there’s something to be said about how childlike wonder is torn away from us as we grow. The world is a wonderful place - there’s a fantastic tumblr post that makes the rounds occasionally about how something as mundane as going to a shopping mall can be an unending source of wonder, if you cast away the veneer of normality and complacency that usually clouds us when we go. Maria has been handed a cheap, mass-manufactured sweet that is utterly inconsequential to most people. And yet to her, in her fantasy - in the bliss of her youth - it is the greatest sort of treasure. And because she believes in that, it becomes her reality.

To talk about myself again for a second - with occasional exceptions, I tend to split up my working day by going out almost every time for lunch. Working in town centre, there’s no shortage of places to grab a sandwich or something slightly more exotic. Of course, this is an expensive vice; I argue that, as I don’t drink alcohol or smoke, this is an acceptable money sink that would be comparable to either of those. However, nonetheless, it is a money sink. I would save a fairly substantial amount of money by preparing my own lunches, or foregoing them entirely.

And yet… I hadn’t really thought about it until now, but reflecting on this scene in particular, there’s a sense of whimsy to it that hasn’t eluded me even as I approach 30. Perhaps it’s because eating out was a special treat when I was younger - growing up relatively poor, we could only really afford to treat ourselves to a restaurant once a month or so - but there’s a sense of joy and elation there that hasn’t been eroded by routine. It’s the wonder that you can feel by attending a shopping mall, but we choose not to. That’s something that I, personally, can’t put a price on. And I’d encourage anyone reading to also find their own way to obtain the greatest sort of treasure from the most regular of scenarios.

Eva Ushiromiya sees her chance to be a horrible person, and she takes it. Well, I suppose the entire family likes to deal with their own unresolved problems by taking it out on each other, at the end of the day.

Even if it’s only temporary, it’s nice seeing the adults being interested in Maria’s specific knowledge. Sure, maybe it’s insincere on their behalf, but to the kid who can’t distinguish the reality from the fantasy, that’s the absolute best feeling in the world. Being able to teach adults something that even they didn’t know feels great.

Criminy, Episode 2 is not letting up on this. I suppose that’s to be expected from the “Rosa” Episode, but still.

Rosa trampling on the hearts of everyone reading this Episode, old and new.

Hilarious subversion of the rose incident from Episode 1. Does it still count as dramatic irony if you’re lying about the truth by saying what happened in the previous game? I think it’s also worth highlighting this moment as another notch for suggesting that you should always be wary of what people say if it hasn’t been witnessed personally - we know that Rosa’s not telling the truth here, so what other falsehoods have we been fed thus far?

News just in: resident tragedy enjoyer loves how sad this scene is, and how much it hurts. More at 11.

Very funny moment where Kanon goes “wait a second, I know how I can fix this for you.”

I’m constantly amused by how much Nanjo just doesn’t want to be in this novel at all. Does not enjoy going along with the family’s nonsense, doesn’t want to talk to any of them, does not want to get involved with the murders. I know Gohda is a community favourite for not really having anything important to contribute to the story, but I’m kind of digging Nanjo for similar reasons.

“Worthless” male pride, you say? Interesting commentary.

It’s almost like the people you surround yourself with could cause you to perceive the sky as grey instead of blue.

I don’t have an awful lot to add to these Maria-Rosa moments, but I can’t not acknowledge them. It’d be a crime to skim over such potent writing, even if there’s little for me to add that I haven’t said already.

An island detached from common sense and reality, you say? Sounds like the perfect setting for a new generation of fanfiction.

I don’t necessarily think this is a “with hindsight” moment because it’s still fairly clear what is going on here - you tell a child to close their eyes and then swap out the candy while they’re not looking. One of the oldest tricks in the book. What I do find interesting is how this parallels the final choice in Episode 8 - how do you approach this scene? Is this just a trick, because of course it is, or is this magic? Whatever you choose here, will you still hold the same opinion 6 episodes from now?

Obviously, this scene is noteworthy since you can read Rosa’s reactions as being uncomfortable with the blackmail forced upon her (using the term blackmail tenuously since she could arguably have been bought out without much threatening). But, with that in mind, I wonder when exactly she was roped into this? The adults at the guest house did say that she had been gone for quite a long time - we just assumed this was due to her being stuck with Maria, but did she actually visit the secret room with Yasu during this time?

I’m sure she knows the inside of the mansion better than anyone.

The scene where Yasu as Beatrice meets Kyrie is really good, and I kind of wish we saw more of this in Umineko? I love the fantasy scenes a lot, but when you’re being presented with partial truths (that lean closer to fact than fiction) that are only slightly adorned with fantasy, they’re a lot more interesting to read than the ones that are drenched in outright fabrications.

Also, Yasu was born 30 years too early, she’d have made an absolute killing as an online voice actor with the way she can go between all these different personas without being found out.

Hey! New portrait!

One day I’ll be joining the hordes of Umineko fans by getting a giant framed picture of Beatrice for my house. I was kind of hoping that they would have been offered as rewards from the Umineko Gold Kickstarter… But we all know how that’s gone.

And so the reunion with Kinzo is delayed because he locked himself up in an anti-magic bunker. Of course, what we’re probably seeing here is Yasu considering the study as a base of operations, before realising that could cause some complications given Kinzo has been the opposite of alive for quite some time, and deciding to set up in the guest room instead where she doesn’t need to worry about dealing with matters arising from Krauss/Natsuhi/Jessica’s additional knowledge regarding Kinzo’s current status.

End of chapter! I kind of wish we had a meta section here for the moment when Beatrice’s piece arrived on the gameboard? It feels odd that Battler wouldn’t immediately jump on that with a “hey wait a second”. Alas!

#umireread #umineko #umineko spoilers

[lithellyl]

"Dear" (and I use that term VERY loosely) Chasers,

I am writing to make one thing abundantly clear: your despicable behavior and fetishization of transgender individuals are not only repulsive but utterly degrading. As an asexual transgender woman, I deserve respect, dignity, and understanding—not to be objectified and reduced to some grotesque fetish for your twisted pleasure.

Let me be unequivocal: I am not a novelty for your amusement, nor a plaything to satisfy your warped desires. My identity, just like anyone else's, deserves to be treated with the utmost respect and empathy. It is a tragedy that you cannot see beyond your own selfish wants and recognize the person beneath the transgender label.

Being transgender is not about fulfilling your fantasies or kinks. It is about embracing one's authentic self, navigating the complexities of gender identity, and demanding acceptance in a world that often fails to understand us. The transgender community faces enough hardships without individuals like you perpetuating harmful stereotypes and preying on vulnerable souls.

Your actions perpetuate a toxic cycle that fosters misunderstanding, discrimination, and violence against transgender people. We are not objects to be hunted down or targets for your insidious gaze. It is individuals like you who perpetuate ignorance and propagate hatred.

I am proud of who I am, and I refuse to be belittled by your shallow advances. I do not exist to satisfy your ill-conceived fantasies. If you genuinely want to engage with transgender people, start by educating yourself about our experiences, struggles, and triumphs. Treat us with the same decency and respect you would afford to anyone else.

In conclusion, I am not interested in entertaining your disrespectful advances or engaging with someone who reduces my identity to a mere fetish. I suggest you take this rejection as an opportunity for self-reflection and growth. It is time to change your ways, educate yourself, and become an ally rather than a predator.

#trans #trans woman #transgender #transgirl #mtf trans #transfem #transisbeautiful #trans pride #transgurl

[returntosaturn271995]

Tuesday, January 2nd: Silk and Sonder Prompts

Today started at the crack of 7:30 am with my feeling oddly light and inspired considering I went to bed at 2:30 am. It just goes to show the power of a pretty planner and stickers can have on a young woman's ambition.

And that is the word of the month: "ambition" defined in the planner as: "unapologetic dreaming and having the confidence to follow through". Which I both snorted at and highlighted because that kind of line is hard for me to lean into no matter how many color-coded stickers I buy or Daily Yoga sessions I complete.

The idea of confidence being the main factor of follow-through rather than ability is tempting though.

And then:

Erin Burks: In a tale as old as time, song as old as rhyme, I tried to be ambitious with my chores today and immediately broke a wine glass. Somewhere God is laughing at me for believing I can grow in the New Year.

Hannah Mcpherson: New year same us what can ya do 😂

Yes, what can I do?

So here come the cringe and self-reflective prompts, that I aspire to NOT apologize for...but also would projectile vomit if literally anyone read this out of sheer mortification. Trying to grow and evolve in life is the most important thing but also is so unbelievably embarrassing. The paradox of this will haunt me no matter how many meditation books I fall asleep reading. My shame and Western values run too deep to ever take myself that seriously. Even in the name of becoming a *gags* better person.

I can't, okay. This is physically painful. Imagine anyone actually cool doing this. Lenny Bruce would never. He also died of a drug overdose a few feet from a toilet so here we are.

What does ambition mean to me?

1). Growth mindset, abundance mindset

2). Following through even if it's just a small step, progress over time

3). Learning from mistakes

4). Pride in one's work

What are your current ambitions? List them out:

1). 50 books this year, 5 this month

2). Improve at yoga, stretch for at least 10 minutes every day

3). Run a 10 K this year, run 25 K for the month of January, and run 5 K this week

4). Healthy dating/love life even when single

5). Regular journaling

6). Write/Perform Standup

7). Move forward in your career

8). Cook quality meals, 15 this month (today's was chicken, balsamic vinegar, roasted broccoli, and potatoes)

Why are your ambitions important to you?

Honestly? I want to succeed at the things that make life worth living. Something to show for all life I'm borrowing from the universe.

How would you feel if you achieved them?

Expansive

Optimistic

Healing

What do your ambitions make possible for other aspects of your life?

Work + Travel

Reading informing writing informing comedy

Stand up as a way of connecting with others

Cooking as a way to save money and eat healthy

How can you balance your health, personal life, and other areas of your life in your pursuits?

My ambitions are health, loving personal relationships, meditation, mental health, creative hobbies, and actively putting myself out there. My ambition is to live a good life, not a fantasy. To be a good person, rather than a perfect or even that glam of one. At one point in my life, the only ambition I had to my name was not to be a tragedy, and from there I've achieved everything else.

Ordinary, beautiful, things.

[melissamagdalena]

Code

© Melissa Magdalene 2014 

[(1) that there is a reality shared by observers]

Don’t judge me

You don’t know the first code about me

You just know the story I have told you, the shadow of actuality, the shallow projection

Stories are always recited from a biased inception of their story teller

Coloured with bigotry according to the intimate values of the individual

Layered with unique personal prejudice, pain, inhibition, conditioning, hollow inaccuracy

Perverted with cultural ideology of the supposititious existence desired to inhabit, but never done, complete

It’s all fantasy, you, me, reality, existence, deity, story, just fantasy

A never ending repertoire of tragedy and fortune, sadness and happiness, pain and pleasure, committed in dualism

[(2) that this reality is governed by natural laws]

Because biologically, we begin at duality

Imprinted in deoxyribonucleic acid, pairs of individual code

Snuggled among layers of protein trying to de-code the story, the coming glory

And sometimes, often, the coded story is misread, misinterpreted, misguided, non-coded

And henceforth is born mutation – the story has been recited wrong, or improved, or altered, or plagerised

Change (evolution)

With misunderstanding and that error gives birth to it’s transformation, positive, negative, expansion, creation, creativity, imagination

A progression from predictable conformity, taking a new shape of the same old story

The pneuma to the golem, where stories begin

[(3) that these laws can be discovered by means of experimentation]

So don’t judge me - judge yourself, your misconception, your rejection of every insecurity I reflect back to you

And don’t judge the story because you are not it’s creator

It’s simply an expression of vibrational frequency

Where creativity was born in a moment of orgasmic, climatic intensity

The honeymoon bed where hydrogen met helium, sans singular virginity

At the ball where subatomic particles danced fervently, rhythmically, passionately

Where mathematical code came to gift it’s blessing in deliberate gravitational complex patterns of ecstasy

And bequeath it’s timeless laws that we consider truth and constantly query

[(4) Conclusion]

Yet never decipher completely as - the code - is but a biased judgement of our narcissistic fear

A reflection of our perspicacity upon that which we fail to understand

But discriminate to make sense of to our limited percentage understanding because we fear unknown

Silence (zero)

It’s far more compelling than the noise that is my story, or my temporary glory

Or your story or our story or an ancient story or a modern story or a universal story or the ultimate story

Because we are just one expression, just one character in pleroma

[1ffeeebz]

23 years in a constant state of lonely

23 years realising I don’t know me

Lived with the same reflection all my life

Yet I don’t know who that is

She’s different every time.

Yet the huge cracks

They’re constant, it’s unbearable

The damage feels irreparable

Fighting a battle daily where losing feels inevitable

Maps and navigators

Therapies and therapies

Finally think I found her

Wait-

I stole a personality

And this entire time

I thought I was an ok person

But now I don’t know who I am

And nothing feels certain

A constant state of overexertion

I just want to be a normal good person.

The doctors say it’s damage

Chemical alteration

A jail in my brain

Hell and suffocation

How many more times am I going to end up back here

A hundred steps forwards and the trauma brings me right back here

Maybe my brain is just too far gone

Maybe too much damage has already been done

How does everyone else do it?

How does everyone else heal?

How do I make my brain normal?

How do I let myself heal everything that I’ve concealed for so long?

I want to be happy and better

I want to be a good, loved person

But when I try to let people in

My brain takes a diversion

It’s too painful

I don’t know how to do it

I don’t know how to live in this black and white world without instructions

23 years and I still don’t know how to function

Everyone is too quick with their assumptions

But I’m alive and I’m not living

And every time I think I’m healing the trauma comes reappearing

I want someone to hold me

But I’m the only one here

Inside this prison in my brain

Watching everyone else maintain friends jobs and family

Everyone living my fantasy

I’m sick of my irrationality

My life feels like a tragedy

I’m tired of my reality

I don’t know my identity

I know I’m the problem

I don’t want to be a victim

But I don’t know how to fight

I don’t know where to start

Somebody please show me light

In here it’s so dark

23 years feeling extraterrestrial

23 years wishing for my burial

I’m nothing magical

A lost little girl inside

It’s difficult to describe

I just want someone to love me

Because I will never be capable of loving myself

Lost my rose tinted glasses

Now everything is grey

I’m still searching

I got through another day

Maybe life will always be this way

And I will never find peace with it

23 years of bpd

23 years stolen from me.

#my poetry #bpd #darkest I’ve written in a long time

[tillidontneedfantasy]

A Track-by-Track Breakdown of Taylor Swift’s 9th Studio Album: ‘evermore’

“My collaborators and I are proud to announce that my 9th studio album and folklore’s sister record is here. It’s called evermore,” is how Taylor Swift introduces us to this album in its foreword. One might assume a “sister record” would entail b-sides, or tracks that didn’t quite make the cut for folklore, despite Taylor’s explanation that “we just couldn’t stop writing songs.” evermore’s release came at a strange time, upon the heels of the Folklore: Long Pond Studio Sessions film on Disney+, as well as 5 Grammy nominations for folklore. The world still captivated by folklore, it’s understandable why one might not consume evermore as critically. Even as a die-hard fan, I felt some whiplash by this announcement; I am still processing folklore! Hell, I’m still processing reputation!

If this was the Taylor from two years ago, this may have been a big enough fear of hers to hold off on releasing evermore. But as she explained upon folklore’s surprise release, life is too unpredictable now, and there are zero givens or guarantees. So she followed the same path this time (although making sure it fell in line with her birthday weekend). But it’s not just the strategic timing of the release that she’s thrown out the window for now, but also her mindset whilst making records. As she explains in the evermore album foreword,

“I’ve never done this before. In the past I’ve always treated albums as one-off eras and moved onto planning the next one as soon as an album was released. There was something different with folklore. In making it, I felt less like I was departing and more like I was returning. I loved the escapism I found in these imaginary/not imaginary tales. I loved the ways you welcomed the dreamscapes and tragedies and epic tales of love lost and found. So I just kept writing them.”

This is a revelation for Swift, to let the music lead her into artistic freedom, which is what makes evermore such a triumphant return. Truly folklore’s sister record, Taylor wrote evermore with the same creative team: Aaron Dessner of The National (Swift’s favorite band), long-time pal and collaborator Jack Antonoff, Justin Vernon of Bon Iver, and William Bowery aka Swift’s boyfriend, Joe Alwyn (as officially revealed in the Long Pond Studio Sessions). Additionally, former 1989 tour openers and close friends of Taylor, the HAIM sisters, join the crew, along with Marcus Mumford for some dreamy backup vocals.

The production is just as wistful and mesmerizing as it was on folklore, yet the storytelling on evermore is kicked up a notch, expanding on the topics and worldbuilding established in its sister record, with even sharper lyrics and an effective and elaborate use of alliteration. The best thing about Taylor is that no matter what she does, her masterful lyricism is always at the heart of her art, and somehow, she keeps getting better. Once again, I wanted to explore the rich stories she’s crafted in this woodsy universe. This is how I’ve interpreted the album, but I hope you find your own meaning in the songs as well.

1. willow It is fitting that the opening track to folklore’s sister album, where we wade further into the forest that is Taylor Swift’s imagination and storytelling, would center on the type of tree that is a symbol of hope, belonging, safety, stability, and healing. “willow,” one of the few more obviously autobiographical tracks on the album, is a hymn of gratitude for her man (as she wants you to know, yes, thirteen times), Joe Alwyn, and how the invisible string tethering them together pulled her to him in a time when everyone else was counting her out. Though not as present on many of the other songs later to come on this record, you can feel the lightness in her heart on this song as she embraces the way in which the willow has bent, wrecking her plans, throwing her into the water and leaving her happily lost and afloat in his current. The downward key modulation throughout the last two repetitions of the chorus is beautiful and very fitting for Swift vocally, but also sounds like the feeling of finding your comfort and settling into it, basking it in while you wait for the next place the wind pulls you. Best lyric: “Now this is an open/shut case / I guess I should’ve known from the look on your face / Every bait and switch was a work of art.”

2. champagne problems On the second track of the album, Taylor dives back into the fictional worldbuilding she began to explore on folklore. While on folklore high school relationships and dramatics took center-stage, evermore graduates from adolescence to young adulthood, not that it is any easier emotionally on the listener’s heart. “champagne problems” chronicles a rejected marriage proposal between two college sweethearts at their old dorm building. Taylor sings as the narrator, a reflective, self-deprecating young woman who jokes about belonging in a madhouse and dismisses all her turmoil as champagne problems. The term ‘champagne problems’ itself could have various meanings here: their trivial concerns, the fact that their “sister splashed out on the bottle” of champagne that they will not be using to celebrate as they had hoped, or perhaps it could even hint that excessive drinking is a piece of all the ways the narrator is “fucked in the head,” as they said. Although the person she is singing to is the one who got hurt in the story, the hurt in the narrator’s heart is just as palpable and relatable, because you only have yourself to blame when you self-destruct. Best lyric: “’She would’ve made such a lovely bride, / what a shame she’s fucked in the head,’ they said / but you’ll find the real thing instead / she’ll patch up your tapestry that I shred.”

3. gold rush On her YouTube live chat prior to the album’s release, Taylor explained that this song “takes place inside a single daydream where you get lost in thought for a minute and then snap out of it.” The daydream consists of a love story so pure that the town had never seen such a thing; it could only happen in a fantasy for the narrator. How could she possibly have the gall to call them out on their contrarian shit, or end up with her Eagles t-shirt hanging from their door, when they are so coveted by all, and when she cannot withstand the thought of even competing? She sings, “My mind turns your life into folklore / I can’t dare to dream about you anymore,” a sweet little connecting piece to this album’s older sister, effectively convincing herself out of the idea of jumping into the chaos of the gold rush because even inside her own imagination it’s too dangerous. Best lyric: “I don’t like that falling feels like flying ‘till the bone crush.”

4. ‘tis the damn season According to Aaron Dessner, Taylor had written the lyrics for “’tis the damn season” in the middle of the night amidst their Folklore: The Long Pond Studio Sessions recording after a long night of chatting and drinking with their co-conspirator, Jack Antonoff. The lyrics perfectly encapsulate the guttural ache the track evokes. It is a tale of two people who always find their way back to one another in their hometown, which acts as the ever-returning fork in the road. The path taken, back to L.A. in pursuit of her dreams, is the one she chose and continues to choose, but whenever she returns home, she takes a ride down the road not taken, just to get a taste of what could have been, even if just for the weekend. What starts off as an icy homecoming always transforms into the warmest intimacy. The success of this track is aligned with the success of Taylor’s entire career; even with such specific details, it feels so deeply personal to the listener. You know the street you’d drive along late at night laughing, the spot you’d park the car, the person who stars in every what-if. You will never really know if the road not taken is as good as it seems, but that might be ok; sometimes, the fantasy is better than the reality, anyway. Best lyric: “It’s the kind of cold / fogs up windshield glass, but I felt it when I passed you / There’s an ache in you / put there by the ache in me.”

5. tolerate it Inspired by the novel Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier, “tolerate it” is an agonizing track from the perspective of a devoted wife who polishes plates and paints portraits and waits by the door for her husband with a battle hero’s welcome, who at best tolerates all her adoration. There are few things as painful as idolization being met with indifference, when you have all this love to give to someone who just leaves it there untouched. “tolerate it” captures that desperation for the approval you know will never arrive, but you sit and watch, waiting for it just in case you’re wrong, but you know you’re not. Best lyric: “I made you my temple, my mural, my sky / now I’m begging for footnotes in the story of your life / drawing hearts in the byline”

6. no body, no crime feat. HAIM “no body, no crime,” the one evermore song solo-written by Taylor, has the clearest plot from beginning to end. In the same vein as the female powerhouse country classic “Goodbye Earl” by The Chicks, Taylor is out for blood to avenge her friend, Este (named for one of the HAIM sisters). The story goes as such: Este’s husband kills her for calling him out on his infidelity, and then Taylor kills the husband and frames his mistress. The HAIM girls, who are long-time friends of Taylor’s and former touring mates, lend their vocals to reinforce the accusation on the husband and to provide Taylor’s alibi. “no body, no crime” is so far the closest we’ve gotten to a return to “country Taylor,” proving that she is still the master of a killer country tune (yes, pun intended, it had to be done I’m sorry). Best lyric: “Good thing Este’s sister’s gonna swear she was with me / (she was with me, dude) / Good thing his mistress took out a big life insurance policy”

7. happiness Written a week before the album’s release, “happiness” is one of Swift’s strongest and most reflective breakup songs. Although she writes it as though it is recent, there’s a lot of power in knowing that she’s been happily in love for four years, and that she is even better now at doing the thing that has always been best at. She is finally “above the trees,” as she sings, and is able to see it all for what it is, but her character is still in the heat of it all, trying to navigate the stages of grief when a relationship ends. We see the narrator grapple with many of those stages throughout the song. Most striking is the anger displayed in the second verse when she sings: “I hope she’ll be a beautiful fool who takes my spot next to you / No, I didn’t mean that, / sorry, I can’t see facts through all of my fury.” That section is jarring and feels like one of the most honest moments in a Taylor song, the insanely difficult emotional balancing act when we are grieving a relationship. The devastation of loss can distort our perception, and a part of that is the difficulty of understanding how multiple seemingly opposing things can co-exist in our hearts, such as happiness because of someone and happiness after them. But when you leave it all behind and finally find your place above the trees, you can find happiness after someone and also look back and appreciate the happiness they once provided. Both of these things can be true. Best lyric: “Showed you all of my hiding spots / I was dancing when the music stopped.”

8. dorothea Taylor Swift has the uncanny ability to create such developed and well-rounded characters with such little information, which is what makes her storytelling so compelling. In “dorothea,” we learn much about the title character through the narrator’s eyes, and the relationship they once had. The lyric “skipping the prom just to piss off your mom and her pageant schemes” alone tells an entire story in itself. “dorothea” is also the companion song to “’tis the damn season,” just from the other person’s perspective, which helps shine even more light on the story. The narrator of “dorothea” reveres her but wonders if she’s still the same soul in L.A. as she was back in their never-changing town. Whatever the answer, they’re still willing to support her no matter where she is, but she’s always welcome back in Tupelo by her hometown love’s side if she ever just wants to be herself rather than someone known for who they know. Besides, they’re the only soul who can tell which smiles she’s faking. And you can always return to the road not taken. Best lyric: “They all wanna be ya / but are you still the same soul I met under the bleachers? / Well, I guess I’ll never know / and you’ll go on with the show.”

9. coney island feat. The National What really started the folklore / evermore journey was Taylor’s love for The National. Taylor has cited them as one of her favorite bands for many years, and as we know, this led to her beautiful new collaborative relationship with Aaron Dessner. So it would make sense for the track written with the intention of this duet to be so well executed; you can feel the love and care Taylor put into writing this song. In her press for these sister albums, she has spoken about trying to channel frontman Matt Berninger’s writing style. But what actually happened was she just produced her own signature lyricism at its sharpest. “We were like the mall before the internet, it was the one place to be / the mischief, the gift-wrapped suburban dreams / sorry for not winning you an arcade ring over and over,” is a hall of famer Swift-ian lyric. “coney island” explores the confusion, hurt, and self-reflection when a passionate affair burns out fast because you did not prioritize that person. And to top it off, Swift and Berninger’s harmonies are achingly beautiful, transporting you right there in the story, on the bench, wondering, over and over. Best lyric: “Do you miss the rogue who coaxed you into paradise and left you there? / Will you forgive my soul when you’re too wise to trust me and too old to care?”

10. ivy Leave it to Taylor Swift to make a song about an affair sound so romantic, and so sympathetic to the narrator, that you’re rooting for adultery. “ivy” tells the tale of a woman in a lifeless marriage, likening her home with him to the tombstone that the widow in town visits each day. I like to think this is the same wife whose husband was out there building other worlds without her in “tolerate it,” because then that means she found someone who celebrates her love, who holds her pain for her, who blooms all over her; they started it, but she’s fighting for it all the way to the end, nonetheless. “ivy” showcases Swift’s gorgeous vocals and her sharp lyrics, with a melody so infectious it is bound to permanently plant its roots in your dreamland. Best lyric: “Oh, I can’t stop you putting roots in my dreamland / my house of stone, your ivy grows, and now I’m covered in you.”

11. cowboy like me With the beautifully blended backing vocals of Marcus Mumford, “cowboy like me” is an entrancing love story of two con artists who lost at their own game and got conned into forever with each other. She’d gone from swindling old men for their money and fancy cars to falling victim to the danger of dancing with someone who only has eyes full of stars, and she knows she’ll pay for it. “cowboy like me” is one of the most romantic tracks on the record, proving that life never plays out quite as we plan. Best lyric: “Now you hang from my lips like the gardens of Babylon / with your boots beneath my bed / Forever is the sweetest con.”

12. long story short One of the more pop-sounding tracks on evermore, “long story short” is pretty much a summary of the long story behind reputation (2017). The song is filled with various metaphors for her reputation crumbling around her, and then finally putting her defenses down to be with her lover, someone as “rare as the glimmer of a comet in the sky.” It is a sweet ode to her boyfriend, and a gentle comfort to her past self that it will all work out. But it is also an oddly relatable example of how we shrug off our struggles and minimize them to just a “bad time,” when the time she is singing about was obviously something that deeply affected her (as will be further explored in the title track); but sometimes it actually feels good to just shrug it off as just a blip in your life, because at the end of the day, you survived, and that’s what counts- even if you’re not keeping score anymore. Best lyric: “Pushed from the precipice / clung to the nearest lips / long story short, it was the wrong guy. / Now I’m all about you.”

13. marjorie Whereas track 13 on folklore was a tribute to Swift’s paternal grandfather, evermore’s track 13 is a tribute to her maternal grandmother, Marjorie Finlay, who was an opera singer in the 50s, and passed away in 2003 when Taylor was 13 years old. “marjorie” is quite possibly the most touching track Taylor has ever written thus far in her career. Grief is one of the most difficult topics to tackle in a song; the genius of “marjorie” is that it is simple, yet not understated. Swift reflects on the profound lessons she learned from her grandmother, about the difficult balances of kindness and cleverness, and politeness and power. She curses herself for not cherishing the moments she had with her, for complaining rather than understanding in the moment how admirable her spirit was, for all the amber skies she’d love but will never see. The chorus, blunt and hard-hitting, reminds us that someone does not have to be living to be alive, to be all around, to be with us. “If I didn’t know better, I’d think you were singing to me now,” Taylor sings towards the end of the song, right before you hear a sample of Finlay’s opera singing in the background, a truly eye-swelling moment. It is clear that Finlay played a pivotal role in Swift’s own ambitions, as she sings, “all your closets of backlogged dreams, and how you left them all to me.” Marjorie knew she was leaving them in good hands. If you haven’t yet, check out the moving lyric video for the song, where you can see photos and video clips of Marjorie, both throughout her career and in her time with Taylor. Best lyric: “Never be so polite you forget your power, / never wield such power you forget to be polite.”

14. closure On the most experimental track musically on the record, Taylor writes off her need for closure from a relationship of some sort, whether it be romantic or platonic or business, all of which can cause hurt of equal intensity. The subject of the song is trying to make nice with Taylor, and she is just not having it, as it is not coming from a genuine place, but rather to ensure that their life remains picture perfect, or to clear their guilty conscience, or to preserve their own ego. This is a deeply relatable sentiment; as valuable as forgiveness can be, sometimes the person who hurt you just doesn’t deserve it, and all you can do is forgive yourself for blocking their number or shredding their letters. Best lyric: “I know I’m just a wrinkle in your new life / staying friends would iron it out so nice.”

15. evermore feat. Bon Iver To close out the standard edition of the album, Taylor joins forces once again with Justin Vernon of Bon Iver, with whom she collaborated on the Grammy-nominated duet, “exile” for folklore. However, Swift leads most of the track this time, lamenting the difficult time she went through in 2016. The piano and Swift’s vocals are haunting, particularly when she describes this time in her life as “catching my death,” consumed by a pain that she feels will never end. If you’ve ever been depressed, you know what that feels like, and the dark places it leads you. Although she is singing about a time four years prior, it sounds so present, and it is heartbreaking to hear her in such a state. When Bon Iver comes in, the tempo of the song picks up, the piano riff becomes more erratic, like a winter storm hitting you in the face, and he voices all the anxieties of the cost of such a downfall. But through those anxieties, Taylor finds not a cure, but an anchor in love, and then the tempo slows back down. By the end of the song, Taylor has the foresight to understand that although it may not feel like it now, the pain she is experiencing is not permanent (a sentiment my therapist has been trying to instill in me for years). In her Apple Music interview with Zane Lowe, Taylor explained how the lyrics parallel the times we are in currently, and so it feels really special to have the album end with someone who knows how it feels to be imprisoned by your pain gently comfort us with the wisdom that “this pain wouldn’t be for evermore.” I hope one day soon, as we leave 2020 far behind, we can all truly believe her. Best lyric: “I was catching my breath / barefoot in the wildest winter catching my death.”

16. right where you left me (bonus track) The first bonus track on evermore, “right where you left me,” captures a moment so earth-crushing, a piece of you is trapped in it forever. In this song specifically, the narrator finds herself stuck in the same corner of a restaurant where she was told by someone she loved that they had met someone else. “Glass shattered on the white cloth, everybody moved on,” she sings in mourning. We have all experienced those moments that we could teleport back to if we just closed our eyes; the scenery, what you wore, the smell and taste of the season, the very point in your body where it felt like your insides were collapsing. Or that one particular person, who is long-gone from your life but seeing them is like time-travelling back to that person you once were, ready to pick up where you left off. But as much as you want to stay in that moment forever, just in case it changes in your favor, the cold reality is that the world stops for no one. Best lyric: “If our love died young, I can’t bear witness / And it’s been so long, but if you ever think you got it wrong / I’m right where you left me.”

17. it’s time to go (bonus track) “right where you left me” was Taylor’s cry for help to get out of restaurant, and “it’s time to go” is the answer to the call, as she sings in the first line, “when the dinner gets cold, and the chatter gets old / you ask for the tab.” This song is about gathering the strength to leave situations and relationships behind that no longer serve you. She grieves the betrayal of someone she thought to be a twin from her dreams (almost definitely referring to former friend, Karlie Kloss), acknowledges that keeping a marriage together for the sake of the kids often actually has the opposite intended effect (possibly- but not certainly- something she and her brother experienced), and recounts attempting to bargain with someone consumed by greed, only able to leave with herself (absolutely referring to the end of her fifteen-year long business relationship with Scott Borchetta, her former record-label owner). But as painful as leaving all of those situations was, Taylor has gained the wisdom to understand that walking away sometimes takes as much strength as persevering. You can’t stay at the restaurant, or at the mercy of someone else forever; you have to forge your own path, even if it’s in the opposite direction of what you envisioned for so long. And even with all her past success behind her, as folklore and evermore have proved, there is so much more ahead of her. Best lyric: “That old familiar body ache, the snaps from the same little breaks in your soul / You know when it’s time to go.”

In a time where we are all trapped in our homes and in our heads, the folklore/evermore experience has been the sweetest escape. If anything, the creation of these wonderful sister records has taught me that our most powerful tool in times of distress is our own imagination. Even just the ability to close my eyes while listening to one of these tracks and feel the character’s story is a gift. The way I’ve always been able to pick up Harry Potter and escape to Hogwarts when I’ve felt alone and friendless, I can listen to folklore and evermore when I feel scared or hopeless and escape into this enchanted forest Taylor has built, where I can climb above the trees and see it all for what it is. I feel so lucky to watch Taylor’s imaginative world unravel around me. I can’t wait to see what she creates next.

DISCLAIMER – REVIEWER’S BIAS: I would literally die for this bitch.  

#evermore #folklore #review #album review #track by track breakdown #pop #folk #taylor swift #the national #aaron dessner #matt berninger #bon iver #justin vernon #haim #este haim #alana haim #danielle haim #swift #taylor #tswift #jack antonoff #marcus mumford #mumford and sons #joe alwyn #william bowery #music #music review

[sohin-ace]

Rohan - It's got to be Rohan

This is inspired by something that just happened to Giovanna. I chose Rohan as the mysterious japanese man.

This is kind of crackfic-ey, it's not to be taken too seriously, I just had a moment with @gio-is-writing. Please don't expect any quality from this.

Also no beta, we die like men, we take it raw, my gangsters.

You were seated in the boarding room of the airport, rubbing your tired eyes. No matter how much you loved travelling and how relaxing your vacation was, you could never get used to the stress of boarding, moving around from one plane to the other and walking kilometers of huge airport grounds.

You barely had any sleep at all and your neck was killing you from the poor excuse of a nap you took in the preceeding plane. You felt like your head was about to fall off from your shoulders.

Now you could only wait for your seat number to be called for your next flight back home after another bizarre adventure.

You tried to mute out the dull background sound of people in the airport, staring out the large window right to the vast runway where workers were signaling pilots and directing planes to the parking zone and moving around to who knows where, making sure air traffic was fluid and secure.

Barely able to focus on the boring sight, your eyes instead fell upon not what was across the glass but rather was was reflecting it.

Right behind you was a young man, seated just there. You could make out his handsome features and beautiful face from where you were.

Now, you tried not to stare and act like a creep, but no matter what you did to distract yourself, your attention always came back to this beautiful stranger sitting so close behind you.

He seemed to be about your age, nicely-styled dark hair, and with very intriguing sharp eyes. He looked asian-phenotyped, but you could never be sure of his exact origins. You could only guess he was most likely japanese.

He had came from the same plane you just landed from and your departure destination was a place known to be popular amongst the Japanese population, so you speculated.

But how could you confirm? You could never just go talk to him. You just couldn't dare. You couldn't imagine walking up to random people asking them if they were japanese or not based on nothing concrete.

Talking to him was out of the question, you thought to yourself. He looked so handsome and intimidating. A normal, basic person like you couldn't just come up to him and strike a conversation, not even knowing if he spoke your language at all. You couldn't muster the courage to do so.

In a pit of despair, you thought of the brilliant idea of trying to peek at his phone discreetly through the glass reflection. Maybe you could see which language it was set in, clearing up the mystery once and for all.

... But all in vain unsurprisingly.

You rubbed your temples in frustration. You didn't know why you were suddenly so infatuated with this man, but for your defense, he was the most interesting thing in the boring, endless wait of your boarding.

Ah, yes. Like that could work. You just had a thing for coming up with clever ideas that you would never execute.

You thought. Hard. What would your best friend do in this situation? Maybe you should just throw logic out the window and punch him in the face for daring intruding your already fragile peace of mind.

Or maybe on the other end of the spectrum you should go out there and kiss him until he doesn't remember his own name.

Sighing at your own very stupid and mindless thoughts, blaming boredom and exhaustion for them, you glanced back at whatever just made noise somewhere in the boarding room.

It seemed like the mysterious supposedly Japanese stranger had the same idea and glanced behind him, your eyes meeting for a brief moment.

You couldn't help but take in his features once again, this time even more clearly. His eyes were greener than emeralds and his skin looked as gentle and heavenly as porcelain. You couldn't believe how soft yet inexpressive he actually looked like from this close.

You even took in his strange bandana, suddenly curious about the odd shape and thinking that could make for a great conversation starter. Nothing weird about asking some stranger about their fashion, right?

But alas, before you could even think about opening your mouth, the beautiful man had already turned back around to mind his own business.

You pouted, thinking of the lost opportunity. The butterflies in your stomach and the burning warmth in your cheeks completely staining your proper judgement on the situation.

Oh you two must be meant for each other. You looked back at the same time, your eyes met. That was a sign, you could already hear the wedding bells singing your union. Your heart was stammering.

Oh you couldn't wait to tell your best friend all about this fictional husband you haven't even talked to at the airport, knowing they would absolutely approve of your ectoplasmic relationship and would root for you all the way, like the supportive friend they were.

You stood up. Maybe you could walk around a bit in his direction, pretending you had something to check somewhere farther in the boarding room, motivated by your own inside pep-talks.

You had no idea what you were doing but you hoped to get his attention somehow. Who knew what could happen. There were plenty of people out there having incredible stories straight out of movies where they found love in such improbable ways, meeting people from across the world once and ending up meeting them again in impossible circumstances or somesuch.

Maybe the little child inside you wanted to live that kind of fantasy as well.

You suddenly regretted looking so awful today. Make up and hair barely done and hardly bothered to put on nice clothes for the sake of comfort and practicity on a long and tiring trip.

Trying to act as nonchalant as ever yet still elegant, you slightly turned back around, only to realize you couldn't see him anymore.

...What? What was going on? What happened? Did he leave? Was his seat called while you were turned around?

Your heart pounded in anxiety, aching for a moment, thinking it was over. That you had lost him forever. Your one true love. The delusional love of your life. The man of your dreams. A nameless soulmate that you knew nothing about, yet that you would trade everything for, even your life.

Your lips threatened to twitch as your held back tears, regretting every decision in your life that had led you to this suffering, this tragedy. God, why did love hurt so much? Why did you have to be the one to go through this?

"Why..." You sobbed dramatically in the middle of the boarding room, walking shamefully as your heart bled. "Why did you go... Why did you have to leave me- Oh... Nevermind he's right there."

Your theatrical number instantly switched as soon as you realised you had just wandered too far and were actually walking in the wrong aisle, quickly coming back to where your and his seat were.

You did not care for the strange looks you were receiving from people sitting by who thought you were completely mental, which you probably were.

All that mattered, is that your handsome Japanese prince charming, your very own 'Ouji-sama' was right here, looking as beautiful as ever, staring down at his device and completely ignoring your entire existence.

As soon as you got back to where your belongings were, extremely frustrated with your imaginary lover's sheer obliviousness, you heard the echoed sound of the boarding room speakers call your name.

'Passenger L/N Y/N. L/N Y/N seat B-17, is requested for boarding. Please present yourself at the gate immediately."

Your mother, much more reactive than you, hurried to gather your luggage and walked towards the gate where you were expected.

You grabbed your bag from your seat and instantly noticed the object of your obssession stand up, briefly staring at his boarding pass in hand, confirming his own seat number.

He looked up and sent you an effortlessly handsome look, staring down at you for a moment and you swore you saw his eyes widen for a split second before returning back to his resting sharp look.

You blushed and flinched at his intense gaze, feeling squirmy under his scrutinizing eyes. You didn't know what to do with your hands and averted your eyes, deciding to join your mother who was already waiting in line.

'W-w-what the hell?' You panicked as he elegantly strided in your direction, his expensive-looking clothes framing his body so perfectly he looked like some Versace supermodel. 'Is he... Following me or something?! No way...'

Just as you thought he was about to board in the same plane as you, bringing your hopes up, he talked to one of the airline agents.

"I'm so sorry sir. We indeed called the seat B-17, but it's for the flight GW3180. For your flight you need to go to that boarding room, on the far left." The lady instructed, giving him thorough indications as he nodded in understanding.

You slumped your shoulders in defeat. He wouldn't board the same plane as you, he just got mistaken. Of course, you thought unsurprised, he would probably go back to Japan, he had no reason to join you, now did he? That would be one unsuspecting trick of fate.

You could just watch him as he walked away, farther and farther away from your reach, never to be seen again. Your chest tightened as his legs took your love away, guiding him to fly off somewhere out of your reach.

"Oh, you recognize him?" Your mother called out, noticing how persistently you were staring at the fine man. "He does look familiar..."

You looked back at your mother in confusion, your curiosity piqued. "What do you mean?"

"He reminds me of that one japanese child you befriended when we came here for vacation. Oh it was years and years ago. You were still a little kid at the time." She chimed, reminiscent of old times.

You blinked. "I... I can't remember at all, I'm not gonna lie."

She hummed. The waiting line not shortening one bit she added, "He couldn't speak our language at all, but no matter what you were telling him, he always acted like he understood you and nodded his head." She chuckled and you smiled.

"That's... That's adorable." Your voice softened, wishing you could have remembered such a wholesome memory. "What else do you recall about him?"

"He loved to draw in the sand with you. I wonder if he ended up becoming an artist. I think his name was.... Hmm.." She furrowed her eyebrows and held her chin, deep in thoughts, "Hold on I can't remember it's been so long..."

"Well, I can't really blame you for not remembering a japanese name you heard once from years ago." You bashfully reassured her, but she still tried to remember.

"No. I know I remembered his name because it was the same at that one famous French art school.... I think it was... Ro.... What was it... Roh...an..? I think. Yes, Rohan."

Your eyes widened at the name. Yout delusional self couldn't barely hold back the joy of finally putting a name to that beautiful face that stole your heart. Needless to say you were quick to jump to conclusions like on a trampoline.

That was it. 'It's got to be Rohan!' you screamed in the comfort of your own mind.

Oh and what a beautiful name it was too. It rolled out the tongue so naturally. Rohan. Rohan...

"Oh but it's probably not him. The odds of meeting a kid years later like that in the same place are too small..." Your mother dismissed as she showed her boarding pass to the gate agents, not aware that she was crushing your tiny little hopes. "Oh well, whatever."

You liked the fantasy of some impossible reunion with a long lost childhood sweetheart love story much better. Especially with the way he stared at you, as if he remembered you, after all those years.

But for now, you just had to board on that plane and go back home pretending your feelings have never existed, for there was nothing you could do about it.

You could only dream that it had got to be Rohan.

#jojo's bizarre adventure #jojo #jjba #jojo no kimyou na bouken #writing #x reader #reader insert #Rohan #rohan kishibe #rohan x reader #rohan kishibe x reader #part 4 #jojo part 4 #diamond is unbreakable #gio-is-writing #inside joke #As a good friend #it is my duty to make fanfics off of my friends' backs #it's called business

[gffa]

I know I've brought this up before, but how much of the fandom reception of the prequels do you think stemmed from the genre dissonance? That the prequels, genre-wise, are closer to high fantasy, while the OT is more an adventure/space western/underdog triumph story.

The prequels also have elements more reminiscent of a romantic period/court drama/Shakespearean tragedy, while if you consider the underdog angle of the OT, the OT also seems kinda similar to some of those inspirational movies about sports teams or something, or a shonen anime with the "Power of Friendship".

I'm just saying, these are rather disparate genres that tend to attract different demographics of people.

And not many people tend to be... great about understanding why they don't like something, much less putting it into words, or understanding that they can dislike something without that something being actually bad. (For example, instead of "I just don't really like [thing]," the usual statement is something along the lines of "[thing] absolutely sucks.")

So the usual response is trying to find (and gather) solidarity while putting down or being condescending towards any dissent, and trying to justify their own dislike. (*gestures vaguely towards pineapple on pizza*)

And historically, it's not uncommon for people to... react strongly towards things they find... different or abnormal, which they judge based on themselves, their emotional response to something, and what they're used to.

Looking at kids, this behavior is... fairly normal. "You're weird," "ew, why do you like that, that's gross," "that's stupid," and so on. A lot of kids/teens/young adults also get defensive really easily. And let's face it--adults are basically just older, taller kids who've had to deal with more of life.

(To be honest, I also get defensive really easily. A lot of people do, and it's... it's normal. The defensive reaction can be lashing out, denial, or just being passive-aggressive or staying silent and tuning it out or mentally rolling your eyes at it. But I'm trying to work on it, because just because it's normal doesn't mean it's a good reaction.)

So, what I'm wondering is whether some fans dislike the prequels simply because it's a different genre...

...but instead of realizing that, they try to defend and justify their dislike by pointing fingers and criticizing whatever stood out or looked different from the OT or cherry-picking details/taking things out of context or making negative conflations (that can be refuted).

Because it's not about logic, it's about how they feel. And people want to feel justified and validated, and we want to feel like we're right and we enjoy staying in our comfort zones. So... yeah. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

LOL, okay, this response is going to be really disjointed because I went off in like a dozen different tangents and even then it's not enough to cover everything, so just kind of read this in a Scattered Thoughts Nerd kind of tone, where I'm staring off into the distance because Navel Gazing Gets Me Going Sometimes. 😂 In my experience, it's sort of a mix. I don't hang around a lot of people who dislike the prequels (in the sense of dismissing them/not being fannish about them) because, well, that's the heart of my interest in Star Wars, so our areas of interest basically don't really overlap that much, so I don't have a chance to talk to a lot of people and find out their reasons or even how they dislike the prequels, in the bigger trends of fandom. I do think there's an element of what you're talking about, that sometimes people can't just dislike things because it's not their genre of choice, that's absolutely a part of it. Mostly because that's how a lot of people react to anything they don't like (and it's something I and literally everyone else has to work on), there has to be a reason for it that it's objectively bad and, like, I have experienced a lot of people getting mad because I like something in a different way than they do. And I don't mean just in Star Wars fandom, but in almost any given fandom--if someone likes something in a way someone else doesn't, if they talk loudly about it (even within their own space), then there's always a contingent of people who have to find a reason why that person is objectively wrong (or even try to make them morally wrong), rather than just shrugging and going, "We see things differently, my view on things doesn't overwrite theirs and their view on things doesn't overwrite mine." It gets more complicated in instances where fandom attitudes genuinely can be hurtful, especially when they're overlapping into the way real people are treated, likes/dislikes don't 100% exist in a bubble, especially when it comes to queer fans, fans of color, disabled fans, mentally ill fans, etc. But that there are a lot of instances where fandom culture has always been--and is increasingly so--contentious and it's hard to chill out when someone is always screaming at you, when the atmosphere of the fandom is always so intense. Further, there's also an element of how fandom has always been--and also is increasingly so--about personal resonance, personal emotional investment, interpretation, and meaning. That sometimes we identify with something so deeply that we feel attacked when someone else likes or dislikes something we feel so strongly about, something that we feel is a reflection of ourselves, and I see a lot of that as well. And this, too, often crosses over into lines of how the context of how we treat characters can be reflections of how we treat real world people, but that there's no monolith here as well. For example: I make fun of Anakin, this angers some people, because how dare I not take this fictional victim 100% seriously, despite that I have repeatedly said that Anakin is the character I most identify with, that things I make fun of him for are ones that I resonate with personally. I'm not disrespecting mentally ill people, especially considering that Anakin is not bound to a single interpretation on this front--he is not canonically mentally ill, no matter how easy it is for us in fandom to map much of that onto his character or, in my case, feel that so much of what I see in him are things I struggle with myself. By and large, the majority of the people I see (at least on tumblr) who make fun of Anakin are doing so within the same vein, that they're being silly about him on things that they personally relate to. (My experiences on this are not universal, I cannot speak for the whole of even any one part of fandom, only my own sphere of experience, but this is what I've seen.) As always, it's fine if someone doesn't vibe with my style or they find that it's not their thing because they do take him more seriously, but that preference does not make my jokes

suddenly not have the context that I relate a lot to what I see in Anakin. In contrast, the way some of the fandom treats Mace or Finn isn't just personal all the time. Not liking their characters isn't inherently racist, but the way they're consistently, consistently treated sure as hell speaks to a larger pattern of racism in fandom and doesn't come without that context. It's the same with Rey--is there a huge vein of misogyny when it comes to her character? Abso-fucking-lutely there is. Things Luke and Anakin get a pass on, Rey is raked over the coals for. Is everyone who dislikes Rey a misogynist? Not even close. Some don't like her because Finn was used as a prop for her story. Some people don't like her because she got sucked into Kylo Ren's story too much. Some just don't care for the way she was written for other reasons. Some just don't vibe with her. It's fine. Nothing is a monolith. And to circle this back around to what you're talking about--it's hard to judge, both because no part of fandom is a monolith in their reactions, but also because we're only hearing from a selection of the fans. How do you know how many people who aren't fans of the prequels, who just don't care for them because it's not their genre, but just go about their day? You don't hear from a lot of them because they moved on to things they do like, so it seems like they must not exist--except, they do, and they're just out there doing things they like more. We only hear from the people who feel the need to tell others they dislike the prequels for this reason or that reason, some valid, some less valid, etc. Ultimately, I do think there's probably a fair amount of genre dissonance for why people dislike the prequels and channel that into "they're objectively bad" and get defensive when people like them and say they were great, but only because that's true of anything anywhere. But that it's only one small slice of the bigger picture (and there's a lot of stuff that I had to eschew in the writing of this response as well because it can be a pretty sprawling topic), where there are tons of reasons and reactions that people have, as well as they're perfectly free to dislike the prequels for whatever reason they do or don't have, it doesn't really affect my opinions, unless they're trying to shove it in my face or are being a dick to those who disagree with them.

#lumi.txt #idk how to tag this

[liketheinferno2]

Like any other series in the world, FFXIV does have it's ups and downs. No matter what though, I think you'll find things to love and enjoy in Stormblood and i'm personally quite excited to hear your thoughts as you go through it.

Truly the WORST I've ever seen FFXIV get was still really good for an MMO. I feel like fandom types tend to get skewed certain ways depending on stuff they've been into before but after digging in the ground for cohesive characters and story in shit like Borderlands and Far Cry for years of my life I'm like hey it seems like Final Fantasy is actually a big budget popular video game series that is good. Who'd have thought THAT possible.

Nier was similar for me, just, holy shit this game is narratively complete. I don't have to feel like a suckered-in narratively-cucked idiot for expecting it to satiate my artistic mind. For so long I was the Genuinely Expects Queer Rep In The MCU Guy of gamers and now I'm playing stuff where it's like the writing was taken seriously as a piece of art, god fucking forbid, y'know?

Excuse me hijacking this sweet ask to rant about vidya gaem fanwank but I just... I enjoy Final Fantasy very very much. Generally I prefer to play stuff that HAS that wealth of content and fidelity that you can only get from a big studio but I feel like that usually comes at a cost to tight writing and emotional impact. It'd be like, common practice to discuss what parts of the story we'd "fix" or delete entirely, to go over and over what parts we hate about the thing we're ostensibly enjoying, but I'm no longer someone who's like "fuck canon I rewrite my own better version" BECAUSE THE GAME IS ALREADY GOOD. THE GAME IS GOOD!!! GOT DAMN!!!!!!!!

Like fuck me I'm thinking about Estinien a lot right now as you can probably tell but it's because I've never had a game crack into that feeling this hard before in my life. We've all met this guy. Angry difficult traumatised person who you know is in a bad situation and maybe they could get better if you could just help them out, but they don't want to leave. In real life you probably cannot save this guy, but this is Final Fantasy!

And even then they don't make it easy, the consequences for people giving up on Estinien are fucking DIRE, but it's the way this story takes you as low as you can go before letting you crawl out of there together. The process of getting you to think of a certain person as a partner or best friend or like-family to your protagonist and then taking them out in a way that makes you understand for a moment why Estinien and Nidhogg have fallen so far in grief and anger themselves. ..

And what I really love about FFXIV is it gives you a space for recovery and reflection, it's not throwing tragedy at you just for spectacle or shock. When someone dies, you mourn. When you retrieve Estinien from what was essentially a kidnapping, he's in the hospital for a while. Shit like Aymeric reaching out almost desperately for companionship after the events of Heavensward and the way they build such a protective relationship between the player and Alphinaud is like there's so much CARE in this, they take feelings so completely seriously and really that's what you need to do in a game like this. When the literal situations are all JRPG levels of absurd nonsense it's like you either go hard on the feelings or you've lost me.

There's been a big push in recent years that art has to SAY SOMETHING or TACKLE THINGS but that attitude can often be antithetical to stories that are effective and cathartic and that feel genuine. The other thing I like about FFXIV is it's weird and atypical fantasy in a lot of places but it doesn't do any of this in service of defying or subverting the tropes to make a statement or whatever the fuck. You can just have weird stuff like the GO LITTLE BETA BOY GO thing with the Tias, or that their elf-equivalent is the racial majority instead of humans, or the massive height differences any time you interact with anybody, or that the Lalafell are the little gnome wombat ruling capitalist class, without knowing that it's only weird because it's trying so hard to not be normal.

I gotta stop before I carry on forever but there's so many little good things in FFXIV that (along with the overwhelmingly caring tone of the entire game) make it a very special experience; ESPECIALLY in comparison to the stuff I used to play, so I'm pretty much enjoying everything it throws at me. :D

#let him speak #dante plays catboy simulator

[sepublic]

Lumity and the Illusion Coven Leader?

           So I’m really interested in Through the Looking Glass Ruins. Not only because it’s another important Gus episode (and the implications of him being at Glandus and how that can connect to the premise of Escaping Expulsion), but also…

           Luz and Amity are at the library- I’m not sure WHICH library, it could be the one at Glandus, or the one in Bonesborough. But given the mention of ruins, and how the background image that reveals the synopsis shows us what appears to be the desolate ruins of an arena of sorts, surrounded by cloaked statues… It makes me wonder. Aside from the obvious possibility that these statues were real witches petrified by Belos or some other entity;

           The title is interesting, because it invokes the sequel to Alice in Wonderland, itself a fantasy tale about a young girl entering a fantastical world… In other words, an Isekai, which fits Luz’s whole schtick in the Boiling Isles! Obviously I should be careful about using the reference in the title as a basis for my speculation; Sense and Insensitivity references Sense and Sensibility, but otherwise has zero correlation with the book as far as I can tell, beyond the idea of King being of higher social prestige and that sort of concept I guess?

           In Through the Looking-Glass, Alice goes through a large mirror to enter a fantasy world. The imagery of mirrors intrigues me, because it directly invokes the symbol of the Illusion Coven… And we can bet that the Coven Heads will make their appearances this season, especially with how Season 3 is too short and more likely to be a final battle/climax of sorts. Not only that, but we also have the other plot of Gus, who is an illusionist… And of course, the library reminds us of Lost in Language, and the twins Emira and Edric, who are both also illusionists.

           I don’t think the twins would be messing with Amity and Luz again, but then again, maybe Odalia and Alador are making them; We don’t know what will happen at the end of Escaping Expulsion, but if Amity and Luz are still hanging out, perhaps they’re feeling pressured. The concept of illusions also ties back to Luz a second time… Remember Witches before Wizards? And how a puppet demon, Adegast, used illusions to put Luz through a whole segment straight out of her favorite fantasy books, of a special chosen one travelling through a world with wacky companions?

           Adegast’s plot appealed to Luz’s sense of fantasy, her desire to feel special and important, as validation/justification for being so ostracized back home. With the idea of illusions, and fantasy worlds, not to mention literary references because Luz and Amity are at a literal library, and it’s brought up the idea in some fans’ heads of like… Luz and Amity going through a fantasy segment taken straight out of Alice in Wonderland.

           So, to get it all out of the way; I think the Illusion Head will play a role in this episode, debuting in Through the Looking Glass Ruins as the main antagonist. I suspect that each coven leader will get their own episode introducing and featuring them as antagonists and characters, so an episode hearkening back to Lost in Language, which had the illusionist twins… With a side-plot of Gus the Illusionist, who wants validation; Not to mention the idea of fantasy stories come to life, feeling special, and how that’s reminiscent of Adegast…

           I think Through the Looking Glass Ruins could be a major episode for Luz and Amity and their characters. Perhaps as a major stepping point that helps to tie together previous events thematically, the Illusion Head might place Luz and Amity in an illusion even more grand and powerful than what Adegast could dream of; One that places the duo in a saccharine fantasy world. Luz and Amity of course have to navigate this fake world and its inane rules, while exploring their own relationship… Perhaps Gus will come into play, or his story will just be a parallel, I can’t tell. But again, it calls back to Luz and Amity having their own experiences with illusionists, so having them face off against the most powerful Illusionist of all, together, would be a nice culmination of those respective arcs!

           What’s interesting is the mention of ruins, and the image we see… It reminds me of that one article description for a ‘Witch Arena’ at the titan’s knee (which foreshadowed Adventures in the Elements), but aside from general ruins, we don’t see any duels occur there, nor is there reference to that site hosting sacred rituals and events for witches. Perhaps we’ll see this actual arena here, or not… This arena could just be part of the elaborate illusion, hence why Luz and Amity encounter it in the library, or they get transported. Maybe the library is next to the ruins, if it’s the one for Glandus or one besides the Bonesborough one.

           (Personally I’m hoping for more Amity and the library lore, possibly the return of that librarian who seems to be on good terms with her.)

           Like Adegast, the Illusion Head could taunt Luz and Amity with visions and deception… Perhaps hearkening back to Enchanting Grom Fright, by showing illusions of Luz rejecting Amity or vice-versa. Luz and Amity of course have to see through and realize what’s real or not, as part of their character development, Luz’s especially with recognizing reality and not being deluded by fantasy. For all we know, the Illusion Head might cruelly play with their feelings, by having ‘Luz’ or ‘Amity’ confess their feelings to the other… Only to sadistically reveal it all be fake in the end.

           Perhaps the ruins will be a part of this illusion world that Luz and Amity confront the Illusion Head at, by the climax of the episode! Or the ruins are/hold some entrance to this fake world… Regardless, we could see Luz and Amity dealing with their ‘fantasy’ of being friends, and possibly more, with the other… Both might want more, but be afraid that’s just fake in the end, or just hopeless romance that only happens in their little fantasy books that they love, and the Illusion Head might capitalize on these insecurities. Perhaps they’ll try to sway Luz with a perfect world, only to change plans when she’s clearly used to that; And Amity, she might need Luz’s help, as she hasn’t faced this kind of dilemma before. Mirrors are symbols of self reflection, so perhaps this will give Luz the chance to reflect on her own feelings for Amity and realize them, to look back at past interactions with Amity and realize the hidden meaning and all new context that comes with what she learns about Amity...

           Maybe the Illusion Head will try to manufacture situations, trick the two girls into ruining their friendship, thinking the other doesn’t like them, acting rashly, etc. Perhaps they’ll create a fake scenario that leads one girl to act at the cost of the other, for whatever reason… Maybe Amity will be so caught up in the idea of a perfect world where everything is ideal; Where her parents love her, where her siblings respect her… And where she can confess her love to Luz, and Luz reciprocates. Luz may or may not stumble across and see, and realize, how Amity feels… And we could get some painful angst skin to Grom rejecting Amity’s invite as Luz, but dialed up with the Illusion Head’s more immersive, fake reality.

           Perhaps the despair created by the Illusion Head leads to Amity turning to the side of the Emperor’s Coven, losing hope in finding a better life for herself because that’s just ‘fantasy’. Rejecting her favorite childhood stories like Otabin and The Good Witch Azura, attempting to be more ‘mature’, which could also lead to a brief discussion about how it’s okay for older people to enjoy stories for younger audiences! It could contribute to Amity’s constant feeling of shame for who she is, that feeling of inadequacy and not being enough, hiding behind a façade; Hiding the truth beneath an ‘illusion’, which of course the Illusion Head might poke fun at. Maybe offering a literal illusion to help Amity pretend and fit the image of the Emperor’s Coven?

          From what we’ve seen, the Illusion Head could be a pair of twins like Emira and Edric, or like Gus, an individual operating alongside a copy. Amity might be directly reminded of the twins and her relationship with them, so this could be an opportunity to explore her relationship with the twins and their past together, perhaps showing what happened between them in the fallout between Lost in Language and Adventures in the Elements.

          We could see how she feels about them and vice-versa, maybe look at their interactions throughout the past, with the Illusion Head possibly even taking their appearance and poking at Amity’s memories knowingly. Maybe they pretend to be the twins, hurting and mocking Amity, only for her to acknowledge that while they ARE flawed, they’ve also grown and the real Emira and Edric would never do this- This could help to develop the relationship with Amity and the twins, and her own potential disdain for illusions because of that association with her siblings.

          Another thing to note with the Illusion Head is that amongst their two selves, one face smiles, the other is frowning; Invoking the image of the Comedy and Tragedy masks. Fitting with the idea of written stories and fantasies, perhaps the Illusion Head will operate as two halves, one light-hearted, the other morose; And both toy with the idea of Luz and Amity’s story being a tragedy, or a comedy.

           The dual symbolism, two sides of the same coin concept, could come with Luz embracing Comedy, the happy ending, while Amity sides with Tragedy, the sad ending. Maybe Amity breaks free of this conception and her and Luz get their happy ending together… I can see the Illusion Head being a MAJOR theater nerd, and thus invoking the kinds of stories and tropes that the two kids are familiar with. And Amity will of course be reminded of Emira and Edric, making her more insecure and uncertain, while Luz might call upon memories of Gus to guide her. Luz and Amity are parallels and opposites, again, two sides of the same coin, and this might be paralleled with the Illusion Head being composed of two halves, with it yet to be seen if both halves are separate individuals or not; For all we know, it could be a witch and an illusion so immersed in the other that they’ve both forgotten who is the real one!

           Am I saying Luz and Amity will kiss and/or realize their love for one another in this episode? I can’t say for sure… But this episode might play on the idea of their relationship and its progression regardless. It could end in Tragedy, or Comedy, what a duality- Maybe even both! We’ll just have to wait and see… I’m excited for this, for more Gus, and I wonder if he’ll show up at the end to help, or provide more insight into the idea of Illusions, which will then enrich the other plot of Luz and Amity! The audience might gain a better appreciation for the mechanics of what the Illusion Head is doing.

          And of course, the illusions here could lend to a trippy nightmare sequence where the animators can REALLY flex and mess with our heads and the visuals, confusing both the in-universe characters and the real-life audience as well, as we’re uncertain of what’s real or not- Perhaps the ending of the episode could play with this question, with Luz and Amity not entirely sure if what happened was totally real or not or some elaborate dream, and the Illusion Head’s status and actions also uncertain.

           So, what do you guys think? Will we get an episode dedicated to Luz and Amity’s relationship, to their pasts with fantasy, with illusions, entering an unusual world together, taunted by the Illusion Head while another major illusionist, Gus, operates elsewhere? Could the Illusion Head serve as a thematic exploration of duality, of opposites and parallels, and how Luz and Amity’s relationship with one another, their dynamic, is built on those foundations?

          Will we see Emira and Edric here- Perhaps with Luz and Amity… Or even with Gus, acting as ‘cool kids’ who ARE impressed by him, unlike the students from Glandus High? I’ve always wanted Gus and Twins interaction… I think Gus is also an interesting duality, parallels and opposites, two sides of the same coin dynamic with the twins; Emira and Edric are individuals who are like one, while Gus is his own person split amongst himself and his clone! Both with a knack for showmanship, and wanting to be noticed on some level. 

          Maybe when all is said and done, Amity grows a greater appreciation for Gus, Emira, and Edric, getting to interact with Porter properly for once, and helping repair her relationship with the twins; Imagining their surprise at Amity suddenly hugging them, only for the twins’ playful wit to melt away into endearing appreciation… Only to finish it off with a practical joke, because they can’t be TOO sappy of course!

          I’m really fascinated and I can’t wait to see what we have for store in this episode… Sounds like the first five episodes alone are ALL going to be jam-packed with very important, major events! Wasting no time I see… Alas, because Season 3 is shorter than anticipated.

#the owl house #lumity #the owl house luz #luz noceda #the owl house amity #amity blight #the owl house gus #augustus porter #the owl house edric #edric blight #the owl house emira #emira blight #speculation #theory #analysis