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localkiss · 2 months

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Chris is totally into breeding, primal play(chasing?? Idk how to word it), and size kink (manhandling manhandling manhandling omf!!). I said it!! Death island Chris got me feeling all hot n bothered 🫣oof!

"You better fucking run. Don't let me catch you, or else I'm stuffing that needy hole with my cum." And then he literally pounds you into next week. Loving the way your hole quivers around his fat cock. Pushing you into the dirt/floor, not letting you run away from him as he pushes himself further inside of you. Filling you to the hilt!!!! Will get mad if you find a way out of his grip and run. But he's obviously much bigger so he'll tackle you to the ground and resume his rough pace. Not giving you any time to readjust to his size (will apologize later about it tho). He will stuff you full and then snap your panties back on, patting your butt and carrying you back home/into the bedroom.

"Shh, baby... It's almost all the way inside.. mmh.. there you go," He presses a kiss to your forehead and watches your lips tremble before his eyes drop down to your stomach. Seeing that his cock is so big it's literally bulging out of your tummy. So hot!! Will literally put you into a mating press and just lay almost his entire weight on you. Barely leaving your hole as he thrusts into you, so focused on the way your body is so tiny underneath his. "Baby, god. You feel too good, don't think I'll ever pull out of you. Fuck." The way he has to constantly be careful because of your smaller figure (even if you aren't tiny weight wise! 😇)

Chris will definitely growl in your ear and make sure you only look at him while he fucks his cum into you. "Look at me while I fuck you. Don't be a fucking brat, I said. Look at me." Obsessed with the idea of having kids with you, even if you can't get pregnant or whatever else reason there may be, he'll always cum to the thought of having something more permanent with you. He needs stability and the thought of kids with you makes his heart swoon and makes him fight harder at his job. Possibly sending you Facebook posts about kids to hint that he honestly wants something like that with you. Even if it has to be an animal, he will take it.

Also, I think he would enjoy snuggling into your thighs or your tummy. Falling asleep to the small sounds your body makes. (I used to do this when I was younger and idk why it was so comforting😭)

Idk he's an old fart. I love him sm. Thought about this whilst playing re5 for the millionth time. (im a d rider for re 5&6. Sorry not sorry!!!) also im really slowly working on my wips so.. yes. ! Take this for rn as i try and figure out my fics …⁠ᘛ⁠⁐̤⁠ᕐ⁠ᐷ it's about to be 4am rn </3 buenas noches everyone.

#resident evil smut #resident evil x reader #chris redfield x reader #chris redfield #chris redfield smut #localkiss #rambling xd #rebhfun #chris resident evil #resident evil chris

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prettyboypistol · 7 months

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I'm not sure if requests are open so if not feel free to delete this ask! Can you do the mercs realizing they're into men because of the reader?

Of course! By the way, this is my 100th post! lucky lucky Anon! This goes out to all of the rest of my followers! Thank you for all the support and followers! I'll always look at your messages and write for TF2! I couldn't be here without all of you! Thank you for letting me be the weird gay man who likes writing about old gay men kissing! -PrinceThomas :>

Tf2 Mercs x M!Reader || Gay Awakening! +18

Scout

Super in denial at first, compares you to actors he likes or thinks are hot and kinda shelves it. Is MAD jealous that you just somehow look great no matter what (to him hehe)

Realizes he has a crush on you when his usual spank bank material of girls isn't really doing it for him anymore. It's 4am, he's tired and horny and a little drunk... his mind just wandered, okay?!

Daydreamer 100%, but his feelings for you and his feelings for Miss Pauling kinda fuck him up ngl?? Is he a homo or not?? I mean, he likes boobs and lipstick and girls, but the rough and tumbled grease in your stubble just gets him rarin in a way girls didn't.

Bisexual struggles fr. Assuming that you're a Stonewall riot supporter, he'd probably try to roundabout ask if he can experiment with you.

What really set you apart from the other mercs is that you just look good compared to them! Yeah, there are some conventionally attractive guys, but you're h o t.

Soldier

Soldier, like Scout, assumed his attraction to you was something more akin to respect or friendliness. I mean, no other soldier he's ever met sacrificed himself to save him! That takes guts! Yeah, you respawned after, but the honor was still there for him.

Develops or at least tries to develop a friendship like what he with Demoman. He might come off like a very determined puppy, but you know he means well.

Uses you as someone to compare others too. (Ex. "SCOUT! THAT WAS HORRENDOUS TECHNIQUE! TAKE A LOOK AT THAT FINE MAN OVER THERE! DETERMINED! STRONG! TAKE NOTES, PRINCESS!")

When he does realize it's love, he is upfront and honest about his feelings with you. After all, if Jane did like men, he could find more powerful army and recreate that unbeatable ancient army of homosexuals!

Asks around about romance, probably interrogates Medic about how to court another man because let's be honest Medic looks gay as he'll and I will die on the hill that every merc just assumes that man is queer.

Pyro

In Pyroland, you're a prince on a unicorn. You're straight out of a fairy tale. They're overjoyed to have a prince in Pyroland rather than just babies! Yeah, it's fun to be childish, but a whimsical joy that are more complex are fun too!

Absolutely follows you around and talks about you to Engie non-stop. Engie jokes that Pyro might have a crush on you and they seriously consider it. They realize you're attractive when you do a party trick of spitting out Bug spray and lighting it on fire, making it look like you breathe fire.

As you cough and retch at the lingering taste of bug repellant in your mouth, Pyro applauds your trick and keeps trying to talk to you. They eventually are able to communicate to you, asking if you have any more fire tricks. You show them that you can twirl a pencil between all your fingers when the eraser tip is lit up like a candle.

You can kind of tell that they like you romantically, but you're not sure how to tell them that you know. A few chats with Engie tells you all you need to know: Pyro has never pursued a romantic interest, Pyro likes you, and that you can probably get their attention with an honest conversation.

Demoman

The most casual about their realization that they like you- and men in general. Just a peek at you in the showers after a particularly clutch victory caused a few rather dirty thoughts. It wasn't that big of a deal to him and kept his attitude of a drunken "Well, a hole's a hole, I bet he's tight."

Probably offers a little bit of fun after a long night of party, definitely a lot more drunk than usual as he leans a tad too close for friendship. That deep, gravelly, and warm voice growled in your ear with an open offer to join him in his room that night.

If you joined, he wouldn't remember the night and regret that he forgot the night in the morning when you and him snuggle awake. If you decline it's no harm no foul.

One of those types of guys who actually can balance his feelings for you along with his friendship- he keeps the ball in your court and stayed professionally friendly, maybe a tad brotherly competitive.

Heavy

This man is an iron wall to hide his feelings. He had the idea that he just wasn't the type to want a relationship- which was fine, more time to work to keep his family safe- but then you jumped out into danger to protect him. He was on the brink of death and you selflessly risked your life for him! Yeah, you both respawned, but it was the gesture that mattered!

His eyes trailed you a lot more often, like a security camera. He pretended to be read his book, but he knew exactly where you were. Medic is the first to notice this change.

Medic asks about Heavy's feelings for you, since Heavy had never ordered Medic to go heal anyone else before! Hell, the both of you tended to stay behind Heavy during battles after that, so you two had a sense of closeness.

When you all went out on a trip to the beach, Heavy loved watching you in the water, and even allowed himself to be dragged in by you to play water polo with Soldier and Demoman. He's a long game of chess, hopefully you can win him over!

Is a bit more protective of you out of battle, but that's something only the people he threatens is aware of.

Engie

Oh fucking god holy shit what the hell man's fucking gay PANICS. DELL IS HEARTSTOPPINGLY FROZEN IN FEAR WHEN HE REALIZES THAT HE LIKES MEN.

All you did was scale a chainlink fence with ease, albeit with a small growling as the metal dug into your fingers. Dell swallowed the feeling thickly. He didn't mean to stare at your ass, really! It just sorta... happened.

And then it happened again as he kneeled to construct a sentry. Then when he was sat down at the kitchen table as you walked by. The only time he didn't catch a glance was when you turned to him with a smug look and a "if you wanna look at my ass, you could just ask."

He knows a lot of gay cowboy culture, but was far too scared to go ahead with a few of the gestures. Although, you weren't as shy, giving him a grey handkerchief when he spillied oil on himself.(translation: grey handkerchief=bondage kink)

Finally- FINALLY! He offers you his hat on a very hot day with his head looking straight at the ground.(translation: if a cowboy puts his hat on your head, y'all fucking)

Sniper

In the top 3 of "chillest reactions to realizing he likes men", but barely on the podium yk?

Mick was doing some target practice and had lost track of time, his pot of coffee and snack pile had been long empty. Right as he was about to get up to stretch his legs, he saw you on the last rung to the ladder of his nest. "Oh hey Snipes! You missed lunch and dinner, 'decided to check in on our favorite sharpshooter." When you stay for a few moments and hand him the bottles of water and leftovers from dinner, he realized that nobody made him feel that loved.

You just being kind sends him into a "did he do that to hit on me? Does he do this to everyone?" Yeah he panics about everything you do, but not because you're a man- it's because a crush is a crush to him!

Sniper does genuinely try to show interest, but in a subtle way like inviting you out to take a smoke break, target practice, maybe offer to let you join him to survivalist camp for a few days.

Spy

Silver medalist of the chill reaction podium, mainly because he laments to himself about all the potential money he had lost by not seducing more men in his more freelance espionage days. He could have hooked up with Saxton Hale to swindle that oaf out of millions- if he had thought of that.

Does a full background and thorough investigation into your personal life, how you reacted to the huge news event of Stonewall, if you had ever hooked up with a man, anything to see if he had a chance to sneak into your dating pool.

He treats you a lot like how he treats the women he seduces, but has to overcome how you brush him off casually like a man. Women were a language Spy speant years studying, so much so that he seldom kept up with the more masculine way of communicating.

At his wit's end, he just asks you bluntly. "Listen, I find you hot. I've been trying to get into your pants for almost 2 months now, do you want to have sex?"

Medic

This man already knew he was gay before you pulled up, sorry. BUT BUT BUT you are the first crush he's had! Yeah, he knew he liked the idealized version of a man he made up in his head, but you are better than the fictional men in books!

Despite the stereotype for Medic, he didn't fall for you when he saw you on his operating table. You and Engie were theorycrafting about hypothetical cybernetic enhancements. Engie had said something biologically inaccurate about the immune system, and before Medic could interrupt your private conversation, you corrected Engie! Not in a demeaning way, but in a way that clearly showed that you had a love for biological science. Medic's heart skipped a beat.

Constantly offering you new enhancements for your body and coddles you about painful proedures (he actually gives you anathesia! How sweet!) and sends his experimental ideas to you for a betaread over. For Medic, that's essentially a confession in and of itself!

Has written your name in little hearts on his note margins and uses you as his anatomy sketch references when he needs to visualize the human skeleton.

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anarchic-stars · 12 days

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So ....

It's 4am

.......

I literally just finished the new episode of Fantasy High......

....

.....

HOLY. FUCKING. SHIT.

THAT WAS INSANE.

BIG Spoilers below:

Damn you Porter!!!

Damn you Osin!!!

Absolutely wild that Brennan has had the plot twist of Porter being evil all along since they filmed Sophomore Year. And the Bad Kids probably could've figured it out during Sophomore Year if they'd only realized how sketchy his interaction with Ragh was. They just never connected the dots at the time because of all the other crazy shit they were trying to solve.

Also ngl, when the video popped up on the dome, I literally jumped. I was not expecting that.

I'm SO MAD that Osin was bad all along.😫That shit with the ping pong balls was so mean, Brennan. I can't forgive you. Wtf man😤

And to the person who realized Osin was trying to give dragon madness to Adine when he offered his grandma's gold in ep 3 --- you're a genius and I'm sad now.

On a happy note, the art with Cassandra and Ankarna was really beautiful. As well as the scene between Kristen and Bucky. Very moving and sweet. Ayda's meteor shower message to Fig was fucking beautiful. There's a list of several monologues/one liner quotes Brennan has done on this show that have genuinely stayed in my head rent free. This was one of them.

#dimension 20 #fantasy high spoilers #dimension 20 spoilers #fantasy high junior year #brennan lee mulligan #ally beardsley #brian murphy #emily axford #lou wilson #siobhan thompson #zac oyama #fantasy high #fantasy high junior year spoilers #fhjy spoilers

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ezri261 · 2 years

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Small drabble since I've been hit with writers block for quite a while and haven't posted part 4 yet.

Note: This is not apart of the personal assistant story.

What happens when reader is just as crazy as the yandere?

Yandere Scaramouche x Insane Reader

Warnings: mentions of dead bodies, ooc scaramouche, him just being overall clingy

"You're home quite early"

He snuggled up to you, letting his hands snake around your waist, properly giving you a back hug.

"I sent you a letter..?"

"What letter? I never got one."

"Oh, so they didn't send it directly to you..."

He suddenly let go of you and made you face him with his hands on your shoulders. He looked quite furious but you were used to his behavior.

"I told one of your men to send you a letter on why I'm coming home early, I suppose it didn't reach to you?"

Now, he was raging mad, how dare his subordinate not give him a letter that was meant for him?!

That night, he came home with a bloody clothes, with him carrying a chopped off head. The head looked unrecognizable, i seemed as though he tortured his subordinate until he got bored.

How'd he know that this was the subordinate that didn't send the letter? No idea either.

"(N/N), I have a surprise, come to the living room!"

He shouted, immediately hearing footsteps come downstairs. You came down, rushing since you missed your boyfriend husband. Of course, you knew what he went to do, you just didn't stop him because you were bored

"... Scara"

"Do you like it?"

He went closer to you, having a smile that could give nightmares for days. He wanted to see your reaction, your delighted face and your praises.

"You're such a good boy Scara... Always doing everything for me..."

You said endearingly, taking the head and inspecting it, before carefully setting it aside and going to cup his cheeks

"Thank you for the gift, darling. I appreciate it."

Scaramouche was no fool to your insane mind, he took advantage of it. He was ecstatic to hear that you were just as insane as him. He lived for it.

He smiled back up you and nuzzled his head on your neck, wanting more.

"Such a big baby... But you've done so many good things for me, like; killing people I don't like, giving me everything I want, giving me so much love. You deserve a reward, no?"

"I will give you everything you want just as long as you stay with me. And if anyone were to hurt you, I promise you that, I will bring hell upon them."

You took his head off of your neck and gave him a peck on the lips.

"Such a good boy... A reward is needed, no?"

I wrote this at 4am, so excuse my mistakes, and there will be no part 2

#insane reader #yandere scaramouche #sub yandere #dom reader #top reader #no pronouns used #yandere #genshin impact #sub fatui harbingers

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toomanyfandomsimfanvergent · 2 years

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Billy Hargrove x Reader

'Blacked out Blur'

Last night was a blacked out blur. You don't remember much, and what you do remember is in incredibly fuzzy. You groan as you reach for the aspirin bottle on the table. You toss a few pills in your mouth and swallow them.

You hear some curses and a loud groan from upstairs, Billy must have woken up. Your Mom was still asleep, or hadn't left her room to lecture you both

It was the latter. It was almost 1pm. You mumble a curse as you go upstairs, you double back to grab asprin and a bittls of water.

Slowly walking up the stairs, you hope your Mom goes easy. She had to go out around 4am, to pick up her wasted daughter. And her wasted daughters wasted boyfriend.

You open the door to see Billy laying on the floor, shirtless. he groans as you shut the door. His curls aren't a little messy, they are all over the place. You throw him a shirt, and notice his lower neck has a few hickeys.

"Fuck," he mumbles as he sits up to put the shirt on. you look in the mirror and let out a gasp. You had a hickey on your neck, there was a big bruise on your forearm, and you looked like you drank a 12-pack.

You recall the shots, and then punch. But then you remember the culprit if this nasty hangover. Billy had went to go defend his title of keg king, and you played beer pong. Lots of beer pong.

"Is your mom going to kill us?" Bully asks and he wraps his arms around you and hides his face in your neck .

"No, but we're getting grounded," you state. Billy mostly stayed at your house. Neil left and Susan was struggling. Max and Susan had moved into a trailer park and Billy lived here.

Max stayed over a lot, your mom worked long shifts at the hospital and it got lonely. Having Billy there was nice, but you liked letting Max get away from everything.

Neil had left after a warrant for his arrest was posted. Multiple types of assault and abuse charges. Susan had been hit, you got Max out just in time to save her. And that was the last thing anybody ever saw if that prick.

You heard your mom knock and cursed as you opened the door, you hear your mom ," Downstairs A-SAP," she barks before heading downstairs herself.

Fuck. You were going to be grounded. Way grounded.

"Fuck," Billy mumbles as he walks downstairs with you. Your mom is pacing the kitchen a lecture already brewing.

"Sit," She instructs and you both plop down on the bar stools next to the island. You feel Billy's grasp yours and give him a slight squeeze

"You two would be so dead, but you called me for a ride instead of driving drunk or having also drunk friends drive you. I'm going to let this one slide with no car other than for school and Max, two weeks," she informs.

With that, she storms out .

"Neil would have actually killed me,"

"She knows what it's like to be a teenager. As long as I don't get drunk to often and call her if I do, she's pretty chill. Says if she got mad I might not call her to pick me up," you shrug and wrap your arms around Billy.

"Why'd she have to take the car?" Biy groans and rests his head on the bar.

You laugh , he was so concerned about his Camaro.

#billy hargrove #billy hargrove fanfic #billy hargrove x reader #billy hargrove fanfiction #billy hargrove fluff #billy hargrove x you #billy hargrove x sister!reader #billy hargrove imagine #billy hargove smut #stranger things angst #steve stranger things #stranger things #stranger things 4 #stranger things blurb #stranger things 5 #stranger things fanfic

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angels2000blogs · 1 year

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Michael Myers x reader

Angst

Tw: abuse, verbal abuse, emotional abuse, talk of eating disorder, victim blaming, talk of self harm , paranoia, murder, stalking

Sorry for any spelling mistakes , I wrote this at 4am after a fight with my mum 💗

Please thank my mum for this fic idea

You and your mother had just moved into a new house,

it was old and run down but it was cheep so your mum said you two could make it work.

not that you had much of a choice, if it were up to you, you would be living with your dad but he worked away and couldn't take care of you.

it hadn't even been 2 months since you two had moved in, you still had boxes to unpack ( much to your mothers disappointment) when your mum had gotten a call.

it was from the police.

" hello, this is ( your mothers name ) speaking" she spoke on the phone,

you two had just had a disagreement about the dishes .

you could hear the other person on the phone very well because your mother always turned up the volume to max when on phone calls

" hello ( your mothers name) this is ( random police officer) we haven't met before but I felt it was appropriate to inform you that a patient of Smith's Grove Warren County Sanitarium has broken out and the police suspect he may attempt to make his way back to his childhood home, witch so happened to be the house you are living in" the office said with a big breath

your mum was rolling her eyes as she began to speak again

" and what do you think we should do about that ?"

she asked, voice lashed with annoyance

" w-well, I suggest you find somewhere else to stay for the time being until we can catch the patient " the office stutter taken aback by the ton of your mums voice

" ok, well thank you for your information, but I'll be staying right here." you mother said quickly before hanging up the phone and sighing

" God. you can trust anyone these days, all they want is to get this place back on the market so they can sell it for more.

what a lowd of rubbish, like do they really think I'm going to fall for that shit " she laughed as she locked eyes with you.

you were still upset for being yelled at for ' using to much dish soap ' but you didn't want to make her more mad so you simply played along

" yeah .. I can't believe it, do they think your dumb or something?" you asked in the most convincing voice you could muster

" they must" she laughed as she went outside leaving you in the kitchen to finished the dishes and clean up the broken plate she had thrown at you ( but thankfully missed) you sighed getting the dust pan to sweep the shattered plate and started cleaning.

as your cleaned your mind kept going back to the phone call.

' why would a police officer call to warn us if it was fake ?' you thought to yourself as you put the plate into the bin.

as you filled up the sink with hot water and minimal dish soap you looked outside only to see your mum putting her legs up and smoking,

it wasn't a normal cigarette, you had smoked plenty you cigarettes stole off random people to know that was weed.

you had always hated how she acted after smoking, you also knew that she wouldn't be making dinner which was fine,

after your younger sister had been taken away from child protective services you didn't have to worry about making food that much.

you were happy not to eat, you were quite content in just starving, at least there wouldn't be any mess for your you mother to get mad at.

you finished the pille of dishes around the time your mum had finished her second cig, you simply rolled your eyes as she started calling your aunty,

you had nothing against your aunty but she always took your mothers side without even listening to yours.

as she started talking you could tell it was about you,

you mother was saying things like

" she's so ungreatfull, all I do is work and slave . I do everything around the house just so she can walk all over me !" she complained dramatically as she picked at her fresh coat of red nails.

you rolled your eyes taking one last look at the kitchen before going into your bedroom.

you were about to start reading a book when you headed a loud bang out the front of the house making you jump.

" STOP FUCKING AROUND!" your mother screamed from the back of thee house making you stiffen,

you wanted to tell her that it wasn't you and how you were a bit scared after that phone call and curl up into her arms as she wispered sweat nothings into your ears about how you were safe with her and no one will hurt you but that want an option.

" sorry !" you said loudly hoping she could still hear you

" DONT APOLOGIZE JUST DO IT RIGHT!" she screamed back

you rolled your eyes as you got out of your corner you were about to read in to check the front porch.

your hands were shaking slightly, twitching every so often, you weren't sure from what though.

it could have been the argument you had with your mom, it could have been the phone call, it could have been the lack of sleep you've gotten the last couple of days, you didn't know.

you slowly opened the front door to check everything was safe only to be met with ...

nothing.

there was nothing there.

you relaxed knowing there wasn't a crazy person at your door.

you started thinking about what your mum said about it being fake,

' maybe I didn't even hear a sound, maybe it was my imagination ' you thought

and soon enough it never happened in your mind, you had imagined it.

so you sat back to read your book.

but you didn't even get a chapter down, you were intrupted by the sound of your mother opening the door, you panicked and stood up putting the book down and started acting like you were cleaning, your heart racing.

your mother made it to your room standing at the door way

" what are you doing?" she asked

" um, I'm just tideing a bit, what about you?" you said trying to take the attention of you

" I just got finished talking to your aunty ,and you know what she said?"

you swoled the lump forming in your throat,

" no , I'm not sure what did she say ?"

" she said if her kids ever acted as rude as you do she would have whipped them with a belt, that's what's happening next time.

next time you back answer me your getting wipped.

next time you don't do you only job I ask of you your getting wipped,

and god so help me !

I don't know what I have to do for you to listen to me !

HUH ?! WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO?!" by the end of her spill she was yelled again,

your eyes started to water, you felt like breaking down in a pile on the floor and sobbing forever, this wasn't the first time she has said she was going to hurt you and it won't be the last, once she had told you she was going to break your legs infont of your friends, let's just say you didn't talk to them anymore.

" I don't know...." you said quietly hopping she would get bored and go away

" JESUS FUCKING CRIST! YOU NEVER DO DO YOU ?! " she continues to scream as she gets closer to you

a few tears all down your check and you step back from her , you wanted to get as far away as you could.

" STOP FUCKING CRYING! ITS ALL YOU EVER DO !

YOUE ACTING LIKE YOUR SOME KIND OF VICTIM? WELL SORRY TO BREAK IT TO YOU YOUR NOT !

YOUR THE REASON THIS IS HAPPENING!!

YOU THINK I WANT TO YELL ?!" she steps closer to you

you took a beep breath making your tears go away, it's a trick you learnt to make your mum leave you alone

" I'm sorry" you said whispering

" God ! how many times have i told you I can't fucking hear you! " she said stepping away

"I'm sorry " you said I'm a normal Tone of voice

your mother simply rolled her eyes and turned away but not before saying

" guess your not eating today again? don't start this shit with food again, I have enough to deal with , and don't go cutting yourself just because we had a disagreement, don't be pethetic " she said slamming your door.

you wished you could break down crying, but you couldn't.

you just stood there swaying slightly staring at the wall you listened to a window breaking.

honestly you didn't think anything of it, you just assumed it was your mom.

you were too busy I'm your own head

' she's right, she always is.

she doesn't want to yell, she hates it , she's doing this because I never listen!

why can't I just listen?

she just wants to be happy , but I make it so difficult!

this happes Evey time ! ' you mentally screamed at yourself.

( switch pov (?) )

Michael had been at your house for little over 4 hours when he saw you,

you were small so trying to make yourself smaller you had hunched over making you seam smaller.

he would be lying if he said he wasn't interested with your actions.

you washed the dishes as your mother talked about you, to who he assumed was a family member,

he just kept getting madder and madder the more they suggest just straight up beating you, the things the were said brought him back to his childhood.

" just hold her down and beat her with a stick"

that has sparked up a bad memory for Michael.

so he made his way over to the front of the house slamming onto the walls from outside to scare you both .

he watched you thew your window, the way you jumped and the sudden noise and how you stiffen because of the yelling.

he had braced when he heard your mother yell too but he ignores it and watched from after as you go the the front door and open it to see if there is any danger.

he almost smiled at how comical it is, more specifically how you visibility feel to relax and the slight of not one there.

he watched you from the crack in the window as your mother walks into your room screaming and yelling.

talking about whipping you and how it's all your fault.

it angers him, he sees himself in your shoes.

the way you stop yourself from crying and how you sway makes home think about a younger him.

he can't wait any longer, he breaks into your house and as quickly and quitely as possible makes his way over to your mother.

she screamed as he put her hands on her neck.

he throws her across the room and looks as she crashes onto a glass cabinet nodding to himself as she is impalled with glass.

he is too busy to realize your standing in your door looking at him with a black expression on your face.

he knows well enough that you have disosheated and don't really know what's happening,

simply speaking your running on auto pilot.

he walks over to you and you step back.

he simply reached out to you and touched your shoulder.

you don't register that you understand what this means but you follow him as he walks out of the house.

#Michael Myers fanfiction #michael myers #faniction #angst #abuse recovery #tw #self harm recovery #michael myers x reader #michael myers x you #michael myers x y/n

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apoptoses · 6 months

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I think you're correct that Daniel wouldn't *forget* Armand's birthday but I wonder if he, say, 10+ years into the relationship is on Planet Daniel completely frazzled with no idea what day of the week it is, not to mention the DATE, or even the month, or even what city he's in.

oh yeah absolutely, especially in the Night Island years when he kept fucking off to god knows where and coming back. i feel like there's fic to be written where he doesn't know what day of the month it is, he only vaguely has the idea that it's november from the thanksgiving decor being put out. and maybe he's getting on a bus back to miami and sees the date on his ticket and realizes oh fuck, it's already the third week of november, not the first week like he'd thought, and in his time blindness he missed armand's chosen birthday.

or if you really wanted to get angsty with it there definitely could have been a year when their fighting was horrendous and he intentionally blew off going to whatever downtown miami art gallery shindig armand had planned as his big birthday thing.

(whether daniel comes crawling back to the island drunk at 4am just before sunrise and admits he didn't forget, and they have some shitty argument or make up is anyone's guess. i feel like there's a 50:50 shot for either depending on armand's mood and how wasted/belligerent over his mortality daniel is).

but YEAH absolutely it's not an 'i forgot because i genuinely don't give a shit' thing, it's more an 'i forgot because i'm messed up and these last weeks felt like days and i have no concept of time' or 'i forgot on purpose because i'm mad at you and trying to provoke you about immortality' thing.

#apoptoses answers

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adultswim2021 · 24 days

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Southies: “Mutiny” | February 18, 2010 (online) | Pilot

“Full” version released online February 25th.

“Final” version released online February 26th (or thereabouts)

Aired on television January 19, 2011 @ 4AM

Oh, Wowthies, it’s Southies. Part of the Burger King Big, Über, Network Sampling, an event in which people were invited to go online, watch some pilots for potential television programs (with two different ones going head-to-head each round), vote on your favorites, and reflect on the deliciousness of Burger King restaurant’s many available food products. Sorta like the Night of 1000 Pilots, but far less successful.

Southies was about a crass couple in South Philly Boston (note: I am so mad at myself that I wrote Philly that I'm leaving the evidence that I edited my post up. what the HELL). They have a daughter, who we don’t see until the last third of the episode. New neighbors move in, who are considerably less crass than them. In fact, they are so squeaky clean that they haven’t even had children. There’s no visible proof that they’ve even had sex with each other!! They clash slightly, personality-wise, though everyone is trying their best to make a good impression. When loutish ____ (I watched this literally two and a half times and can’t remember the main guy’s name, which instead of going back to find out I’m going to let stand as a testament to… something.) finds out the new neighbor is a doctor for the New England Patriots, he starts seeing him as a source for free tickets to football games. They throw a party, try to impress them, fail, and that’s the end.

While I firmly consider this to be a dud, it’s not horrible. But: I didn’t really laugh. The show has fleeting moments of extreme comedy; like when a man is seen in the beginning of the show driving recklessly while ranting on his phone to a sports radio guy (I think! AGAIN IT’S ALL SO HAZY I’M SORRY). This scene ends with him crashing into a pedestrian, with a splash of blood, which is barely noticed by the main characters of the show. The rest of the show is mostly just character-based comedy. The characters are pretty colorful and the design of the show is, while objectively ugly, pretty specific. By that I mean they are admirably defined. I really do think that the bare-minimum a cartoon should be is “specific”. You know? Also, the sound design is really great, and is maybe the best thing about the show.

One thing that’s notable about the show is that it’s beset with MULTIPLE VERSIONS, which can perhaps feel daunting to a prospective viewer looking for a definitive experience. I watched this two-and-a-half times, and had to tap out on my third watch. The version I’d recommend is the version that actually aired on television at 4AM in 2011. It’s in 16:9, has tell-tale signs of television broadcast (TV rating, onscreen bug, etc), and looks and sounds as good as it ought to. Here’s a rundown of the versions floating around:

Version one, which is basically just a short clip, actually. There’s a brief opening (an abbreviated version of the opening sequence), and a little “next time, on Southies” sting showing our main characters downing beers on their neighbors porch. The clip in question is an early scene, where the main guy talks to his neighbor outside while movers bring in their new neighbors boxes. It’s the scene where the guy pees on the van. When I clicked on the Burger King site to check out the shows, THIS is what was offered, initially.

Version two, which runs over 13 minutes and resembles the final version, except for the recurring abbreviated opening and a “next time, on Southies” clip occurring every couple minutes. This gives the impression that at one point they intended to chop up this pilot into shorter segments and turn them into webisodes. This seems like a bad plan, honestly, because all the scenes flow together pretty well. It feels like they tried to retrofit an 11 minute pilot into the webisode format and not the other way around. This is the “longest” version, but most of it is because of the repeated opening and closing sequences.

Version three, which is the “final” version and the one that aired on TV, and actually feels like an episode of a TV show. Easily the definitive version of the show.

Cosmetic differences between each version include a discrepancy in aspect ratios. I compared the aired version with the web’s “final” version and saw that the web version was cropped to roughly 4:3. Rougher versions look like there might be additional squishing going on, as well, but I was rapidly losing interest to truly confirm it. Could also be whoever ripped them putting weight on that scale.

There ARE some content differences between the “full” version and the “final” version. The scene where the guy runs someone down with his car does not end in a gory spectacle, for example, and the street shots showing local color are also less extreme (the final version shows a nude vagrant, and an uncouth woman breastfeeding a baby, the “full” version doesn’t even have jokes that I recall). Also the “full” version had more censorship, at least from the few minutes of it that I could stomach. A guy says “asshole” that goes unbleeped in the other version, but is bleeped in the “full” version. The full version is full of crap if you ask me.

SPECIAL THANK YOU TO KON FOR SENDING ME ALL OF THE VERSIONS!!! YOU KICK ASS DUDE

#adult swim #adultswim2021 #southies

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missbaphomet · 3 months

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Encountered the most TOXIC fucking player holy shit. Played widow, flamed the supports for three whole ass matches and on the third match I won't lie, I showed my ass a little. I was getting some support time in since role queue loves giving me tank and I missed playing some mercy. Literally no sooner than we hit the lobby and this Widow is being absolutely hateful to me bc in the last round I defended someone else playing battle mercy while I was playing DPS Moira. I throw a few messages basically telling her to shove off and go about my match. Tank was not pushing, but I'm keeping my team up and we lose point. No big deal. I'm already 3 rezs deep and it's not my job to make reinhardt move his ass. Drop a catty message about having 3 rezzes and widow comes back with "and 0 Assists" like... OK? You were complaining about heals. Way to move those goalposts bestie. Out of curiosity, I look at team report and she has 777 damage and 0 kills at the end of first objective. Lol. Lmao even. OK.

More stupid catty bullshit I was only really even engaging in because it's 4am and it's the most human interaction I've had in like 6 hours and I'm just returning the energy put into the world. End of match rolls around, I ask to avoid her as teammate because ew and send a friend request to the team Cassidy bc he was chill af and thanked me after each and every rez for 3 matches. Literally think nothing of it.

I'm sitting in queue again and get an invite from the Cassidy. Accept.

Turns out the Widow is grouped to him too. I'm listening to music in another tab and not at all expecting someone to start talking to me and all I can fucking hear is "why'd you add him? Why'd you add him?" Because he's cool tf. Run my mouth a little more, leave the group, send a report and block that widow. Then I got to thinking.

Was she fucking jealous??? I sent a random ass friend request to someone I didn't ever expect to even speak to again and this bitch made him invite me to his group to bitch at me. Did she really fucking think I was gonna seduce this guy with my mad gamer skillz over fucking overwatch quick play????? Yikes.

Anyway there's a Cassidy main out there somewhere with the battle tag Angel who is a real sweetheart, but his maybe girlfriend is a royal fucking cunt. You can do better king, and I hope you do.

For anyone curious this was the end of match report on that Widow as well as my stats for that game where I spent a decent amount of time just bitching in the text channel and not actually playing

Like girl. You are reinforcing my belief that the most toxic players are just bad at the game and lashing out. It is not that serious. Skill issue

#baph bleats #gamer goat girl cred #baph's bad at games #overwatch #i dont typically engage with toxic people but this person was matched with me 3 fucking times and was constantly bitching at the supports #girl shut up it is 4am

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woaddragoon-nadya · 3 months

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Meet Nadya!

I decided to commit and start a new character to conquer my social anxiety! I also changed datacenters to see if maybe not playing on Gilgamesh might be easier. (No hate to Gilgamesh, I just am not a hardcore player and that's the culture over there) So she's on Crystal Goblin. Got her to level 30 in like...6 hours, which isn't great but I started in Gridania which I've never done before (all hail Ul'dah) and wanted to actually see the story.

Just finished joining the scions and decided to log off because it is 4AM. She's another Hyur girly just because I like their face options the best. But, I went Lancer this time so I can learn DPS.

Below the cut is the very long recap of the day. Moreso for me so I can look back lol. Also me complaining a little bit about partying.

First 10 minutes of running around a mentor actually invited me to the novice network! I never got to join with Alsephina until I got the return label this month so that's a new experience. Playing DPS is crazy because I feel like I'm not contributing at all.

The party I had for Sastasha was incredible. Our tank blazed through that whole thing. I got 3 commendations from that run alone which was very sweet. Tam Tara was okay, but our entire party were sprouts. Not a big deal, but it was clear the DPS and the Tank were like...sprout sprouts y'know? I am terrible at the game compared to most people, but I also have 150 hours. So I ended up helping to lead that one.

Then...Copperbell. I will now clarify that I wasn't mad about how it went, moreso annoyed that I didn't go to bed sooner. 10 minute wait time which I was okay with because it is so late. Everybody is FRESH Sprouts. Our Tank would not pull at all. One enemy at a time in the most inconvenient locations. Tank also wouldn't run through so the enemies would turn, which meant I somehow kept getting enmity. I'm used to playing Tank so I didn't really mind, but Lancer is obviously not built to be a tank which put pressure on our healer. Nobody had gear on that was past the first job quest. The other DPS got left on a higher level and no one would wait for her so the entire second floor took ages. Everybody is running for treasure not looking around.

Our healer ended up running in the front and taking a load of damage. Then they started the final fight with NO ONE ELSE IN THE ROOM. I sprinted over there so it was just me and her for a hot second. Tank is jumping absolutely everywhere, other DPS is still lost. I think the tank only annoyed me because I have been so nervous about tanking in a party for so long. I don't expect big pulls , because I know I struggled with that. Just at least pull into the next larger room and not on bridges or hallways. Makes DPS easier and healing easier. Normally, the way I've been approaching any partying with other humans is "whatever makes the healer's life easier." I thought that was kind of how everyone approached it, but I guess not. Same with not jumping around. Tank kept running, so I kept having to reposition, which meant the healer kept having to reposition. Then everybody ditched immediately, which made me a little sad lol. I have had very VERY few dungeons or 8mans where we didn't all say at least GG before heading out. Nobody gave commendations either, so I gave one to the healer.

I don't know, on the one hand it is less anxiety to play DPS because you have a buddy and arguably the least important job. On the other, it does make me want to give tanking with a human party another shot. I think I have not been giving myself enough credit for everything I've learned since my major meltdown for the last party I did with Alsephina. So now at least I have motivation to level both characters to see both sides. I could never be a mentor though. I kept wanting to try and correct the Tank, but I do not have enough confidence to tell somebody to play their video game differently.

#ff14 ffxiv #ffxiv #ffxiv wol #ff14 #xiv misc #ffxiv oc #ffxiv hyur #ffxiv screenshots #Nadya Hollow

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euc6ra · 3 months

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"your big man" (mlm x reader)

warning: mentions of murder, blood, and slight nsfw

——————————————————————————

You arrive to the Hotel Cortez, you check in reception and you go to your room, room 64, then you see James Patrick March in the room you booked, he was naked and slicing someone open, you tried to run away of the horrific sight, but he saw you watching, he quickly put boxers on and he ran towards you and before you could run away he grabbed you by the waist, his body was bloody all over, and you started to panic, you were sobbing horribly, you were frightened, and you could tell he was mad, insanely mad.

"What a sneaky boy you are my dear" the big man said with a psychotic smile on his face, he was pissed, he gently carried you to another hotel room and placed you on the left side of the bed, then he layed next to you and said: "You better shut your precious mouth my boy, or else I’ll shut it for you, now fall asleep" he said threateningly and commandingly before he closed his eyes and slept, he was groaning wildly in his sleep, his groans were loud and seductive, but you didn’t mind it and just tried to sleep, you couldn’t help but notice how thick he was, how strong he looked, and how rough he was, you also noticed how peaceful he looked while he was sleeping but you were too scared to talk to him, you eventually fell asleep but you woke up at 4am due to the big man gently poking your shoulder, you also were shivering, it was a cold night.

"Are you awake? I'm so sorry you had to meet me this way my boy, I understand if you think I'm a monster but I don’t want you to see me as that, my name is James Patrick March and I also notice you’re freezing" the man said, and he gently draped a blanket over you, the blanket smelled like him, like strong musk and vanilla, a beautiful scent.

You noticed remorse and fear in his voice, his voice was really gentle, and his eyes, he looked scared, and there was so much submission and fear in his body language, you introduced yourself but you felt frightened, he noticed your fear towards him and apologized for making you feel afraid and said:

"I am so sorry for frightening you sweet boy, I want you to feel safe with me, there’s no need to fear me, I want to love and protect you, you can do anything to me if you want, you can release your anger and fear on me in any way you’d like, I wont put up a fight, I won’t put a finger on you, I'm so sorry I traumatized you"

Then, the big man starts crying silently, and then he falls asleep, you were still afraid of him but he looks really calm and peaceful when he sleeps, so you decided to hug him while he was sleeping, and you could notice he was incredibly huge and soft, then he wakes up due to your hands hugging his soft back, his eyes are teary and he says:

"Thank you for trusting me my beautiful boy, you’re an amazing man, I'll keep you safe I promise" then he hugs you back, and cups your face in his hands, then he asks "My sweet boy, may I kiss you?"

You were not scared of him anymore, you saw a gentleman now, not a cold murderer, you accepted his kiss, and he kissed you softly, gently, and lovingly, his pink lips tasted like fresh wine, it was such a beautiful flavor, he rubs your back, and you rub his hair and then he speaks up "You may do with me as you please my beautiful boy, I won’t put up a fight", after the strong man said that, you pulled him on top of you, and you both kissed passionately, he was making sure you were comfortable all the time, he grabs you by the waist and now he pulled you on top of him and he repeats:

"I'm yours my dear boy, I'll forever be yours" you both kiss wildly, he gently kisses your neck, and his hands slide down towards your lower back, he looks at you, as if asking you if it was okay, you just nodded, and he starts to push your body back and forth in a soothing motion, he starts to moan, and you start to sweat, it was a beautiful interaction, as the moments passed he moaned your name:

"Oh my y/n! Oh you beautiful boy!" he moaned loudly, you noticed his beautiful mid-atlantic accent, you kissed him passionately, and you both enjoyed each other, and he repeats between groans and moans "I'm yours my boy, yours and yours only" as his moans turn louder and louder everytime, you smiled at him and he smiled at you, then you both eventually get tired and as he lays you on his chest he says:

"I love you so much my boy, I love you, I'm yours, always remember it" he was down bad for you, and you loved him so much, you hugged his big broad waist and squeezed it lightly, that move made him moan like crazy, "Mmghh-, you know very well how to make me weaker" he said on a playful yet serious tone, you were special and irreplaceable to him, he smiles and then says:

"I love you my boy, I love you" he wanted to make sure you knew how much he loved you, you noticed so much honesty and emotion in his voice, you fell asleep in his big beautiful body, you made him yours, you made James your man, you smiled to yourself and fell asleep in his arms, you were happy because you were his sweet boy, and he was your big man.

**the end**

#jamespatrickmarch #evan peters #american horror story #ahs hotel #viralpost

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changingplumbob · 7 months

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New Goth Household: Chapter 2, Part 5

The bizarre sims code decided to have Marta propose living together 3 interactions after she asked Keira to be her girlfriend. For storylines I made it the other way around. I didn't want them taking a relationship hit so they're living together but still taking some time with their relationship since Keira doesn't have lots of experience and Marta's last relationship was a whirlwind emotionally abusive one.

In this part the household adjusts to the fluffy and human additions, Joey checks out Geekcon and we see Alexander's younger brother Milton.

Keira: I didn't expect you to have absolutely nothing

Marta: But it's a lot

Keira: When we put it away I'm sure it will be fine. We may just have a few boxes around, but I'll take stuff out so we can both share the dresser

Marta: And the bed?

Keira: Yeah... I've been thinking about that

Keira: I'm happy you moved in and I get to see you more but-

Marta: You're worried I'll get memories of my last whirlwind romance

Keira: I'm not going to place blame on you for a me issue. Living together is a big step, I want to savour it. Not run up the whole staircase at once. Don't mistake me-

Keira: I absolutely dream of woohooing you

Marta: *laughs*

Keira: But I'd like to keep the bed for sleep for now. Are you worried about your bad memories?

Marta: A little. He was the only partner I've lived with before you. But I like your plan. Can we still cuddle in bed

Keira: Just try and stop me

So Keira and Marta fall asleep. It's been a day of changes, becoming girlfriends, having their first kiss, moving in together, they don't want to rush anything else just this second. Sleep is all they do, at least until something bizarre happens. Gertrude wakes them up, despite being locked out.

I deliberately locked the cats out of Keira and Joey's rooms. But Gertrude (seen in birds eye view on the left side, between the seat and stairs) manages to yowl awake the women. Yep, you read right. Through a planter box and wall her wails rouse them from slumber. Darn mischievous cat.

Marta: It's 4am, why are we awake

Keira: Cats defy physics. I really need to be rested for class

Marta: Don't worry, I'll go tell her off, back in a minute

Gertrude: *yowls*

Marta: Ay dios mio, quiet! You have dads you can wake up

Gertrude: *yowls*

Marta: It's not polite to wake up people in the middle of the night

Marta: I think she'll stop for a while. Hey you okay, you looked spooked

Keira: I just had a bad dream

Marta: Tell me, that's what I'm here for no

Keira: I was crushed by a murphy bed

Marta: Eek. Sounds awful, but it's over now carino. No murphy beds here

Keira: You're right, let's go back to sleep

They slept for a bit before Marta had to get up for her barista shift. Keira would have slept in but this little scamp, Hamlet, copied Gertrude. Yep, he woke her up from the other side of the wall and planter box. James slept in, it's not like they couldn't wake him up.

Me being me though, I can't stay mad at cats. Hamlet is just so adorable. Marta heads off early to work and I spend most of the day following the cats while the humans juggle classes and homework.

Poor Joey. He dislikes fitness but I still force him to workout now and then to keep him healthy. He's probably going to keep his beanpole physique for a while yet. I'm not a completely terrible watcher and give him a trip to Geekcon. Joey enters the hack-a-thon, but gets a pretty low score despite his level 10 skill.

He takes some time to play around with the tech on offer. Then he checks out the sparklers. Having never tried them in game before I'm entranced! I wait for the hack-a-thon results... and wait... and wait... and the festival is over with no results. You win in my heart Joey!

Joey: Hey pa

Aaron: You were going to be here for dinner

Joey: Sorry, there was a glitch with the festival

Aaron: Well come in, I have some case work to file but let's talk before you leave

Joey: Any update on getting Milton for Alexander

Aaron: Nothing new at the moment

Kelly: Ew it's you

Joey: I'm also thrilled to be in your presence

Kelly: Get up to any chaos lately

Joey: Sure. The watcher has been perusing new mods

Kelly: You're so weird and loony

Joey: There's this one all about dreams that's being trialed

Kelly: Sure there is

Joey: Just wait. You think you'll have a good day then wham! Nightmare!

Kelly: But that won't be a kid problem

Joey: Who knows, the watcher can't remember if kids will have nightmares but I think they will

Kelly: You're lying

Joey: Anyway you'll be a teen soon. So many things to have nightmares about

Kelly: Shut up

Joey: Acne! Social mortification! Puberty!

Kelly: MA! Joey's being a turnip!

Calista: Let your brother be

Kelly & Joey: He started it!

Calista: Go to bed Kelly, it's getting late

Kelly: Whatever

Joey: Good to see you ma

Calista: Did you come just to wind up Kelly

Joey: No. I'm taking this knitting course-

Calista: You are! Sweet

Joey: Can you give me some help

Calista: Of course I can, I practically knit in my sleep

The two sit down and talk yarns, hooks and needles. Joey is still learning but Calista gives him some good starter tips for his projects.

Calista: Thanks for coming by, you're a good son

Joey: I try ma

Calista: I love you

Joey: Me to ma

Joey: What did you want to talk about

Aaron: Are you being safe

Joey: Of course. Besides the watcher doesn't include the WTD part of RPO

Aaron: I mean with pregnancy son

Joey: Oh yeah, of course I am

Aaron: Because if you end up fathering a kid, you need to look after them

Joey: Pa, I'm being safe, promise

Aaron: I'm not against you having kids-

Joey: I know, you're always championing our Italian genes. I want kids someday, but not yet

Aaron: You do?

Joey: Yeah, I'd love a mini me. I just don't want a wife to raise them with

Aaron: And you're making sure the ladies know that

Joey: OMW yes pa

Back home Joey gets stuck in making a mobile app. Gertrude wakes up James from a nap but he teaches her not to wake up sims. Hopefully no cat alarm now. But a mischievous cat will not be contained. The next day Gertrude kicks trash out of the bin and encourages Hamlet to try eat it. EWW

Unable to avoid it any longer, Keira has to do some baking. I mean she's doing a baking paper after all. She still gets a tense moodlet from not liking cooking (but girl this is baking). She makes some oatmeal cookies with raisins. Joey gets my inside jokes.

What is that small speck? Let me zoom in. It's Milton! Having gotten bored with Dina and Nina fawning over newborns he has decided to break out and come see big brother Alexander. Yes it's a different neighbourhood but after crossing the road to see Cassandra, no distance can stop waddling Milton!

*knocking*

Alexander: Milton! What are you doing here

Milton: I want fun. Newborns boring

Alexander: We should get you back home

Milton: I like here. Story time please

Alexander: Okay one quick story, then we'll get you home

Milton manages to get Alexander to read a couple of books and play with him

When Alexander knocks on the door to his old house Nina answers with mild surprise.

Nina: Oh Milton, we've been looking everywhere

Alexander: You look frantic. Dina, delivery

Dina: What were you doing with him

Alexander: Excuse me

Dina: Did you kidnap my son

Alexander: My brother knocked on my door

Dina: Surprised you heard it over the sound of your golddigging

Alexander: You're one to talk

Dina: Get out of my house you spoiled brat, you're never getting Milton

But arriving home Alexander has an idea.

Alexander: You said to call if anything came up? How about some surveillance footage

Previous Part ... Next Part

#sims 4 #the sims #the sims 4 #Rotation7 #ChangingPlumbobStorytime #NewGothHousehold #KeiraFoster #MartaRomero #JoeyYork #AaronYork #KellyYork #CalistaYork #JamesRyan #AlexanderGoth #NinaCaliente #DinaCaliente #R0706

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kimarisgundam · 1 year

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Not irl, just a TTRPG but...

It's 4am now. How do you tell your best choom that

Your name isn't your real name

Your friendship with him was built on a lie

You're actually working for Arasaka (he was left to die by Arasaka, is anti corp now)

Your big bro was the Arasaka enforcer who interrogated and tortured him

You may or may not have bugged him once or twice and handed over his info to a corp

Wtf when I list out what I have done, I feel worse 😭. I feel like a smarmy two faced liar 😭

My character is grateful for everything her sponsor did for her... but I want to just stop lying for once 😭

Her sponsor is kinda like her adoptive dad, so he'll understand right..? He won't get mad if I want to leave the corp and be free right?

I want out. I don't want to do this anymore. Everytime I sell someone out, I feel like a part of me is dying on the inside. I caused the death of 4 NPCs that were close to my party. I watched my big bro make them disappear

Now my bro knows I'm friends with a potential target. Heck, I'm co parenting a cat with the potential target. I don't want him to retaliate, I have to sort this out eventually

But this investigation will be my last favour for Arasaka. I suspect something is wrong... I'll find out what's wrong and tell my sponsor

There's a rat in Arasaka. And I suspect this entire chain of events is linked to the murder of my parents. I'll help our Exec get his promotion if he helps me get my closure. Then I'm out. I'm done living the corpo lifestyle

Eddies aren't everything, I'm willing to lose my reputation and connections

Our Rockerboy said I'd always have a place with his band and he'll help me out if I stop working for corpos. Not sure if he still wants to help out my character if he finds out the truth though...

But if the offer is still up, my character will take it. She can work as a freelance netrunner for his friend. All fixers need a reliable netrunner

#I want to leave but I'm scared...#my character's bro will be mad...#I don't know if he can accept this #personal

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curs3dn0va · 2 months

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TW: SA, grooming, mental heath stuff, cheating.

So I had 2 breakups by October 2021: one was my ex-something (he called me his soulmate, I call him the worst thing that could have happened to me), and the other was feminism, and both of them are very much linked together, so here's what went down:

When I was in highschool I met this boy, and this boy had a best friend, let's call the bestie B. So me and this boy started dating, we were both shitty teens, but I just wanted a good time and he said "I love you" in like 3 months. Safe to say it didn't work out, and then it didn't work out a second time around, but by then this boy had stolen my friend group, but B kept checking in, and I really liked him as a friend, I thought he was cool, plus he had a shitty life situation and I wanted to help him out. Something I now know about myself is that I buy my way into peoples hert's because the thought of someone liking me for who I am really only ocurred to me like 2 months ago, so I am fixing that, but back then I was very much not fixing that, anyways I gave him my old smartphone when I upgrated, looking back it was a big deal and he was not that greatful about it, he said thanks a few times and then went on ignoring most of my texts. I have grown up to understand that as a person I am very needy of love and reassurance, I will send a 9 text in a row without response, it is just part of my nature. So B and I got closer and closer, we lived together and our lives were not going too great so we gravitated towards eachother, we would talk until 4am about literally nothing at all and just have fun. At 19 he had this relationship that I won't talk too much about, just say that it was bad and it was most likely his fault in hindsight, but back then he was definitetly the guy that said "all my girlfriends are crazy" and shit like that. One night we had a movie marathon, and the thought of him in a more-than-friends way had occured to me, but I had no self-steem and he had girls to pick from, so I was fine with just being a best friend, because that's what we were at that point: he would come to my house, we would talk, watch videos, joke around, it was all very platonic; but that one cursed night he put his arm around me, and I was curious "what is he doing?" was my first thought, not repulsed just kind of confused if he would over-correct or something, and because of how my couch was at the time it was very easy for me to lean into him and in my shoulder I felt his heart absolutetly beating out of his chest and his "I'm really trying to stay chill" breathing. Fast forward of a few weeks of us fooling around and I was like "what are we?" and he did a very classic male manipulator "I'm not ready for anything", "you would be forever and we are so young", long story short he got me to be his "friends with benefits" -even thought he was the only one benefiting from any part of the relationship- and 3 years in, something happened: He got a girlfriend.

Now you have to understand that I was 3 years into a brainwashing campaign of "we will live happily ever after... someday" by then, so when this girl came in I was not happy... with her. I obviously couldn't possibly blame him because by that point I was not a person anymore, I was a very well groomed and trained sex doll that he could cry to and I would obediently validate all his opinions and quell all his fears. I was not even half a person, and when I showed signs of having my own thoughts and emotions he would silet treat me into obedience, rejection was his punishment and he dealt it freely and with no remorse. So I hated her, not only because she just waltzed in and suddenly he wanted to commit to someone, but because she was what he shaped me into but better, at least in my eyes. She was allowed he own opinions on shows, she was allowed tantrums, wishes, wants, desires, hobbies, but he wouldn't ever be mad at her, at least not in fron of me. She was also smaller in every sense of the word, she was short and skinny, and I have always thought of myself as a mid-sized person, but looking at photos from that time I was very, very skinny, it was truly just my insecurities getting the best of me. Privatetly, he painted her as a selfish, toxic girl, with no control over her emotions (and this led to the implicit "unlike you" where he praised my maturity and shit like that); her dehumanization to me was crucial, because the moment they became official, I said no to sex with him for the first time in 3 years. Despite all the conditioning I went through, I was sure I didn't want to make her suffer... until that christmas. To be fully honest I don't remember exactly what they fought about, only that she called him unhigenic and that he could at least try to smell good when he was around her -which yeah, that man STUNK it's not even funny- so he villanized her and cried in my lap about her and his dad and how no one (but me) loved him, and he wore me down. We had sex that night and he went on to cheat on for a full year. I knew it was wrong and I did feel bad, but I also thought that man was my soulmate, that destiny wrote us to be together, that they'd be broken up in another month and our love story could continue. But they didn't.

If you though this was already messy, you better strap the fuck in because his girlfriend, let's call her C, has a girl best friend that we're gonna call A, well A and I met when she was coming back into town, and because our "best friends" were dating eachother and I was publicly single we started hanging out as "totally definitetly platonic gal pals"... or at least that the impression I got, we never did any explicitly romantic stuff, but there was some tension I am fairly sure I was not imagining. So one day I spill the beans to her about B and how we had been having a thing for 4 years by then and blah blah blah, A doesn't take it well and in her eternal grace gave me a month to tell C or she would, so I told B he had a month to tell his girlfriend the truth because I was done. By this point I had recently been at a feminist protest in my city where I did meet A and C, they were very much feminist and very into the whole movement, and the movement at that moment was (and still very much is) about supporting women who came out with stories about abuse of any kind, believing them and defending them. All of this to say that I was very much surprised when B did not tell his girlfriend about the affair, and when I did she didn't even respond, when I went to A to see what the fuck was going on I was even more shocked that she didn't believe me anymore either. I do blame the autism for not seeing this coming, and also for wanting to "be the bigger person" by not sharing screenshots of my conversations with B, or the nudes, or the voice messages, or any of it really. What was pure stupidity was deleting all of it. That's right, dear reader, I have no proof of any of this.

So the feminists who "believed all victims" did not believe me, my ex-something who swore to always be with me immediatetly stopped all communication, and I tried to start a legal case, but the trauma and the exhaustion got to me... I was internalized by ferbuary of 2022, and had a karmic wake up call this year with the betrayal of another so called "best friend", where it was my turn to believe someone else's story without any proof, and seeing myself in that position really put into perspective what A and C did. Not believing someone when they come out with something as serious as what I "allegged" in my very thorough facebook post (don't judge me, it's still widely used where I live as a social media platform), it can really mentally hurt the accusing party. I to this day try to rationalize my own rape. I can think of a million reasons it "wan't that bad" and "I'm just blowing it out of proportion", but if that is true then why do I have all the emotional baggage of someone who was victimized for years? if it wasn't that bad, then how come I was sure I was unlovable? I am still sure.

I am in a happy and healty realtionship right now, where my partner is patient and kind and has never even looked at me wrong and I still flinch when I'm not expecting his touch. It is my job now to put myself back together, to reconstruct the child that I was before my abuser and see them become the adult I was supposed to be. Four years of my life I dedicated to someone who hurt me so much I couldn't recognize myself afterwards, I was deeply dependant on him for every single decition, and now I am afraid to even get my tongue pierced because my current boyfriend doesn't like that piercing and I am so terrified that he will start treating me like my ex treated me. I have nightmares about my boyfriend being mad at me because in my head it is not believable that everything could be okay in my relationship.

I do not know if I'll ever be able to forgive any of the people mantioned here (even my current boyfriend, he is too pretty and truly how dare he), but I am working on forgiving myself for the choices I made and the hurt that I caused, to myself at least since I think B and C are still together, last I heard at least. I do not wish any ill will to C and A, not really, altought sometimes I wish I did. It would be much easier to hate them at least, but I can't. And B, well... I did see him around the university at the start of the semester, and let's just say that we are 26 years old, but he looked 32 if we're being kind, so I think karma is doing fine on it's own.

#blog #feminism #traumadump #rapesurvivor #relationship #situationships #tw abuse #emotional abuse

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