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warmau · 4 years

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Dragon!AU Yunho

*this post was commissioned | commission info | other ateez aus tw: mentions of violence, blood, death

you gently lift up his neck, removing both arrows with a quick pull and then leaning down to press your lips to the open wound his skin is on fire, the contact stings and you can’t help but think: what the hell am i doing?

seonghwa gives you a wary look as you sling your bow over your shoulder

“are you sure that’s all you will need?”

you nod and check to make sure what time it is on the clock behind seonghwa’s desk. the large wooden hour hand ticks right onto a golden seven.

perfect, i should be home by noon tomorrow if everything goes well

“it is a dragon, you understand one arrow isn’t going to-”

“one poisoned arrow.”

you slip a tiny bottle from your thigh pouch and shake it in front of him, the bright green liquid sloshes back and forth and you try to remember whats in it

jongho, who had concocted it at your request, had mentioned something about mushrooms? or maybe parsley?

you had not been paying attention.

“as the prince requested, bring back its head only.”

“sure sure - by the way, prince hong is paying me half now right?”

“prince hongjoong”

seonghwa corrects

“has agreed to pay you twenty-five percent now, the rest comes when the dragon is confirmed to be dead.”

you extend your palm, motioning for your commission fee

you know seonghwa, the ever uptight and too-good-to-be-dealing-with-mercenaries-like-you type accountant is almost seething at the thought of you getting your hands on the royalties gold

but hey, no one else had agreed to take up this dragon slaying business

and you were in need of paying off some debts

turns out the blacksmith from three villages over was still waiting on getting paid for the work he’d done for you a year ago

and he was stopping at nothing to get that money

(several scuffles with some of the cronies he’d sent after you in back alleys had proven enough of a warning)

dragon slaying it was

seonghwa studies you again as you take the gold and tuck it safely inside your shirt.

eyes averting politely when you do the buttons back up

he coughs into his hand, “are you leaving now?”

you wink, “yep - and ill be back tomorrow with the princes’ dragon.”

the trek through the woods isn’t as bad as you had imagined - it’s the transitional period between summer and fall

not too hot, not too cold

perfect weather to go pushing through thick bushes and hunting for magical beasts

you recall what little information you have on this “dragon”

apparently, it lives deep - deep within the forest. at least twenty miles past the secluded cabin homes already nestled in the depth of the woods

but twenty miles, a problem for others, is a breeze for you

you can enjoy the silence of nature

and if you get too bored - you can pull your bow out and practice your shot

the only other thing you know about the “dragon” is that its the only one left of its kind

hongjoong had said something about his father, and his fathers father, the royal bloodline - had made it a mission to drive dragons to extinction

“all they do is wreck havoc, i cant have one so close to my people.”

you snort

nobility, righteousness, blah blah blah - you would never understand why people thought things like that made them better than others

you pat the gold in your chest pocket

money, being rich - that was what made people better - in your opinion

the night comes slowly creeping in, just in time for you to cross a threshold of wild berries and fallen branches

and you smell it in the air

fire, or at least ash - which meant something living was nearby

and it for sure wasn’t people, and as far as you knew little forest bunnies couldn't burn things with their breath

you look up at the sky - you can see the shadow of the moon peeking out from behind the slowly shrinking sun

you pull an arrow out and test your stance - before continuing slowly through the greenery

the smell of ash gets stronger, stronger and stronger - till you silently pull back through a huddle of leaves and see a large pile of blackened logs at the base of a tree

your eyes narrow - dragons don’t build ........... fires.

they spout them from their mouth. but that looks manmade.

you hear footsteps, no sign of claws or thundering stomps, regular footsteps

and you see the outline of a human

it has to be a human, it has a broad back - with two hands and two long legs

what? hongjoong said humans don’t come out this far!

you try to see the face of the man, but he doesn’t turn your way - all you see is the expanse of his back - various scars of various sizes - or maybe some kind of vibrantly red rash sprouting down his skin

you panic

if there’s a person around, has someone already slew your dragon?

and if there’s a dragon around, are you going to have to get this person out of harms way?

you’re about to retreat - hurry back to the village and report to the prince that he has to be wrong about the dragons location

all he did was lead you astray to some weird, hermits home in the middle of the woods

when the person straightens up, you hear their grip tighten on the wood

fuck. they’ve sensed that im here.

you try again not to make a sound as you reach slowly for the arrow once again

but then the person turns and you freeze

their eyes, though shaped like a humans

are a flickered yellow, with the pupil slit like a lizards

and there is a distance between you two

but that pupil is fixated on you

without thinking twice anymore about it, your instincts kick in and you tumble backwards and break into the fastest sprint of your life

youve just walked over twenty miles over the expanse of almost eight hours and you should be completely weak

but your body knows that whatever that person, or thing, is

if it catches you - you will be done for

you hear the rustle of leaves, but you dont hear any sound of following footsteps - until you look up in the sky

and there it is

the shadow of a large animal against he now darkening sky

the moon shines down and reflects off of one of its large wings

isn’t that the dragon?!?! where did it come from?!?!?!

and just before it swoops down in, you manage to get your bow up and pointed at it - shooting the poisoned arrow directly into it

you hear a monstrous sound

you hope its a wail of pain as you dodge in between trees

if you can get yourself some distance from the thing, you can find a dark hole to hide in for the night and make your way back to the village at the first sight of the sun

and thankfully, after another twenty minutes of running, you think you’ve got that thing off your trail

you hit the ground with a hard thud, your legs going into a frenzied spasm under you as you grip the forest floor

where did the dragon come from? is it protecting that man?

a million questions swivel around in your mind, but you are so exhausted that you can barely think straight anymore

you manage to make it through the night, not sleeping a wink

just laying in the leaves and dirt and jumping at the sound of absolutely anything

you’re a mercenary known to have a fear of nothing

but when dragons and beastmen start chasing you

you think you’re allowed to be afraid of them

you get back to the village - and first things first - you bust into the palace ballroom

guards are chasing after you, but you get past those meatheads until you spot prince hongjoong at the throne

“YOU LIED TO ME!”

you yell - finger pointed at the prince - who raises an eyebrow

you feel something cold touch your neck and realize one of the guards has pointed a spear at you, which you just scoff at

“how so?”

“there are people living in the supposed ‘dragons lair’ - people the dragon is protecting!”

hongjoong lets out a bellowing laugh that nearly shakes the room

“are you making up stories to get out of our deal?”

“what? no! i saw it with my own eyes - there was a man and then there was-”

“seonghwa, retrieve the gold we gave this cowardly fraud.”

hongjoong waves his arm and seonghwa begins his long, graceful strides over to you

you duck from the spear at your neck and step backwards

“no - im keeping this money and im getting you your stupid dragon, but what am i supposed to do about the people? do you want me to kill them too?”

hongjoong snaps his fingers and seonghwa comes to a halt, the guards all lay down their weapons and hongjoong rises from his seat

he paces back and forth for a minute

before shaking his head

“no, i dont want them killed. i want them captured and brought here. if what you say is true, they might now the location of other dragons.”

he strokes his cheek and falls into thought again

“you should take a horse with you this time, to transport them when they’re captured. also, go to jongho and get more poison.”

you can tell that as seonghwa turns his head, he’s signaling something to the prince

probably about how this ordeal proves how untrustworthy you are and that you should be thrown into the dungeon now before screwing the prince over for sure

but the thing is, you are not a liar, you are a mercenary but you do your job to the best of your ability

usually that means apprehending thieves or rogues or sometimes its the opposite, participating in break-ins or scams

but when you promised to slay a dragon - you meant it

you just didn’t think you’d now have to be taking hostages too

and although the fear you’d felt the whole night was still felt in the aftermath

you were also coming to see this as an opportunity

“if you want hostages, alive hostages, you need to up my price.”

“no!”

seonghwa rejects, but hongjoong doesn’t bat an eyelash.

he names the new price and your fear dissipates as the number floats around your head

“and i dont have a horse, can you provide one?”

you’re hovering over jongho, as you usually do when you come to him for his ‘medicines’

he’s making another vial of that poison, and tying up some bags of herbs to help put the ‘beastman’ you need to capture to sleep

you keep tinkering with his things and he keeps hitting your hand away

“whats with the noble stead?”

he asks, tilting his head toward his open window, where the horse you’re borrowing from the royal guard is standing tied to a post on the nearby street

you shrug, “turns out people are living out in the woods.”

he puts his tools down and gives you a skeptical look

“along with the dragon? you know thats impossible - dragons eat people. did you see a corpse?”

you cross your arms

“sorry, why does no one believe me?!? i saw a man, and then i saw a dragon.”

“he’s probably the dragons lun-”

you shake your head, pulling one of your arrows out to play with as you wait for jongho to finish his work

“no. i think the person i saw might be being protected by the dragon. but it doesnt matter.”

you throw the arrow up, watching it do a flip as it lands perfectly back in your palm, “prince hong wants them brought back alive and he’s paying me-”

jongho stops listening, he drops the bag of poison and herbs in your hand and shoos you out

although you hate to admit it, because you know what you saw, you spend the ride back through the forest wondering too

maybe all the walking got to me? maybe it wasnt a man - maybe it was a forest spirit?

you don’t realize the hours passed until suddenly the horse refuses to go on and you have to hop off and take the rest of the trek on foot

part of you uneasy

animals can sense danger, that’s probably why it didn’t want to go on

but all you can remember is the money

and its getting a little darker - not pitch black - but just the perfect amount that it’ll help camouflage you between the trees

you smell the familiar scent of burnt wood

and this time, you completely silence your movements - up until you’re back in your original position from yesterday

you scope out the clearing - the fire is going - but the man you saw yesterday is nowhere in sight

your eyes stop though on the large body that you spot right curled near the flame

it’s not human, it’s scaly - huge - and you can see the bone structure of a cascading spiked spine

the dragon!

you almost make a sound of surprise, but you catch yourself before you make a stupid mistake

instead you move again - in silence - to a better angle

if you can hit the dragon in the neck with a poisoned arrow - you can probably subdue it enough to hit it again and make sure the poison takes its effect for sure

then you can go and look for that man

you slow your breathing, and your heart rate

any false movement and you know that animal is going to wake up.

you count down slow, and then take aim, just as your finger lets go

the dragons eyes snap open

but its too late, the arrow lodges itself into the flesh part of its neck and the dragon roars up to life

you take the moment of disorientation to your advantage, as you jump up from the leaves and take aim again - this time hitting the dragon right into its throat

you see it begin to sway, making sounds that shake the ground beneath you

it tries to swing one large claw towards you but before it does

it begins to shrink

smaller and smaller and smaller till its tail disappears, its wings retract, and the scaling hot red skin turns back into something else

you’re so horrified and astonished all in the same moment

that you cant dare to move from your place

as the mighty dragon turns itself back into a human man

the wings fold painfully into the skin of his back

cracking and making sounds that suddenly have you feeling nauseous

the person takes a step but falls down to their knees and flat back onto the ground

you bring your hand up to your mouth

and for a good minute just stare and try to process what happened

the dragon wasn’t protecting a human, this human is the dragon!

you suddenly replay last nights events and it all clicks into place

the yellow pupil slit eyes, the scarred up back, the inhuman speed

you see the two arrows that should have been lodged in the neck of a dragon

sticking from the side of this person neck and you realize that if you dont take them out soon

he’s going to die

so what? he’s the dragon he should die!

you reason, but then you can picture bringing back this person and seonghwa and prince accusing you of cheating them

no - i said id bring back a dragons head, not a dead person!

you settle yourself and take a few shaky steps toward the body

the poison, in that kind of dose, will kill him

the only thing you can do is get the poison out

but how? i dont have an antidote! jongho never made one-

you rack your brain, squatting down to examine the arrows and then remembering

jongho said the poison’s only effective when it directly enters the bloodstream - if someone drinks it but then spits it out they should be ok right?

it’s a gamble and you don’t like to put yourself at risk in any odds, but you need that stupid money

and you know you’re not going to get it unless you come riding back into town with a dragon, not whoever this person is

you brace yourself, you push the body over onto its back and throw your leg over the mans waist

you realize a tad bit late that he’s absolutely naked - but you’re too focused on the task at hand to feel any inkling of embarrassment

you gently lift up his neck, removing both arrows with a quick pull and then leaning down to press your lips to the open wound

his skin is on fire, the contact stings and you can’t help but think

what the hell am i doing?

you’ve done this twice before, with snake venom, but this is different

if you’re remembering wrong - this could kill you too

but you have to take the chance

so you close your eyes and pray

the aftertaste is gross and your stomach lurches a little when you spit what remains out of your mouth

you wipe at the corners with your sleeve and place your hands on either of his shoulder blades

you shake a little, muttering for him to wake up already

“come on, don’t die on me dragon boy”

you shake him again - groaning in desperation when he doesn’t show any signs of life

his face is still serene and still - handsome and strong - he almost looks too nice to just be the beast you saw before

you’re about to get off of him and start counting your days till the princes’ people come for your head

when suddenly something wraps around your hip and keeps you from moving

you look down and see his hand on the fabric of your tunic - you turn your gaze and are met with those yellow slit eyes - and

“oh my god im so sorry!”

before you can really comprehend what is happening, you are getting lifted up and off of him

the boy, coming to his full height is huge

which to say for someone mixed with dragon blood should not shock you as much as it does

plus he’s - he’s timid

with the way he puts distance between you two and then apologizes, a second time, for mistakenly thinking he attacked you

“i don’t usually hurt humans i-”

the misunderstanding kind of rubs you the wrong way, you had initially reached for your bow, assuming you’d have to defend yourself right away

but now you were just

“hey, you didn’t hurt me. i hurt you - look at your neck.”

he stops blubbering, bringing his fingers up to the small wound

“wh-you-”

“i shot you, yes. anyway i also made sure you didn’t die and if you are going to get mad about either of that then -”

you lift the bow up again, “i will not hesitate to shoot you again.”

a stoic silence coats the conversation and then you make the mistake of looking down

“oh fuck you’re naked!”

you turn around, stupid move for a mercenary in close contact with a target, but the dragon boy doesn’t budge

“wh- why did you shoot me?”

“i.....well i um.....i saw you! i know what you are, i thought you would attack me-”

“why are you out so far in the woods?”

“wow you ask a lot of questions, have you put anything on?”

“put anything- i don’t-”

a noise disrupts his sentence, a noise he can hear, but that you don’t

so you make the decision to face him again, eyes wavering above waist level, when you realize he’s looking around panicked

“are your friends here too?”

“my fri- what, no im here alone-”

you take a step forward and then something catches you by the neck and tightens

before you can bring your hands up to the rope, your head is yanked back and a large burly hand curls around your waist

“caught ya, you little thief!” the voice is mean and rough, recognizable as one of the goonies that angry blacksmith keeps sending after you

“let go! did you follow me here?”

another voice, more high-pitched and giggly answers- “duh, our boss heard about all the gold that uptight prince gave you and well i mean-”

you’re so busy trying to pry yourself out of the stronghold that you don’t catch the dragon boy disappear

not unril a looming shadow blocks the sunlight and everyone's eyes turn upward

just like you had seen on your first attempt to capture him, it is the large and intimidating outline of a dragon

wings clutched into its sides, but the winding neck and large jaw swooping down and nearly clipping the head off of the man holding you

you stumble forward when with a scream, he lets you go and shouts

“A DRAGON!?”

you duck and roll to get far away from everything going on, being mindful of the rope still around your neck that you tug off and slip into the bag secured to the side of your hip

when you have a safe distance, you turn around and see the dragon now closer than soaring above you in the sky

sweep its way down and right toward the blacksmith’s bounty hunters - for a moment you think you see it all happen in slow motion

the powerful body of the dragon, an almost golden yellow and green - slit eyes moving back and forth like a lizard on the prowl - talons sharp and huge and cutting through with so much precision

you think you don’t even see any blood

all you hear is the defeated thud of a body to the floor and then another agonizing scream before you

i should run for it, dragon or human or whatever that thing just-

the cracking you heard earlier, the twist of shifting bones and breaking lines of a monsters body turning back into a normal form fill and echo in the trees

you look up, still crouched half on the floor, to see the dragon gone

the boy turns, the flash of something brutish in his eyes before they go back to a soft, muted brown

“i dont hurt humans.”

he whispers, so low you almost don’t hear it

then he drops back to his knees - falling face forward

and you jump because - fuck is he dead? did i not get all the poison out?

you rush over, stopping from lifting up his head when you see the blood this time

not from any of his wounds, just coating his nails which must have ripped through-

you shake your head, carefully hovering down and closing your eyes

to your relief, he’s still breathing, but he’s definitely knocked out cold

you do not know where the strength comes from inside you to get this giant body dragged out of the deep field you were in and back toward where your horse is still tied up

part of you think you turned into a goddamn monster of some sort lugging his body with no abandon

until the horse gets one whiff of him and refuses to let his passed out being anywhere near it

you groan

“how the hell am i going to get you back to the prince?”

you mutter and finally let go of his hand, eyes averting from his figure as you slide down with your back against a tree

i wouldnt call what happened back there anything like ‘protecting me’ but it is weird that he just.........killed someone like that........and didn’t kill me, right?

you tug your knees up to your chin

and he said it twice - that he doesn’t hurt humans - but that can’t be right. afterall, that short prince has a whole historical fit about how dragons hurt people.

you hear something and immediately tense up

gaze shifting to the still passed out body of your “loot” and then back up toward where the sound is coming from

you assume that it must be more of the blacksmiths goonies, absolute idiots following you on this mission

but then you hear a voice and groan

“ah - there they are. i told you they were slacking on the job.”

you stand up, bruised knees and scowl on your face, to see seonghwa - sitting high on a white stallion with what seems like an unnecessary amount of men from the cavalry

“first of all, im not slacking. look right there - i got your dragon.”

seonghwa looks to where your finger is pointing, down at the body in the leaves

and you

you do not like the smirk that spreads across his face

hours ago you had witnessed a human being turn into a dragon, now, you were sitting shackled on the palace floor

explaining again that you had seen it, that you had witnessed first hand

how the body of the human now laying before the princes’ feet had become the animal he had sent you to hunt

but every time you say it - the princes’ court laughs at you - the worst of all is seonghwa

who toes the body of the dragon boy and shakes his head

“i dont know where you dug up this poor boy, but bringing a dead body instead of the head of the dragon as promise-”

“i told you the first time i came back, that there was a person there instead of a dragon but it turns out they’re the sa-”

hongjoong finally gets up and you know better than to keep talking

the giggling court also shuts up and through the silence you hear him walk down from his throne and then lean over the body

he stares for what seems like a long while before he snaps his fingers

“throw both of them in the dungeon.”

“THE DUNGEON?!? WHY I DID MY JO-”

seonghwa tilts his head and two guardsmen lift you up and off the floor

“I DID MY JOB I BROUGHT YOU A DRAGON-”

hongjoong opens his mouth into a wide smile, but nothing in his eyes screams happiness

“ALL I SEE IS A CORPOSE, AND HEY LITTLE MERCENARY-”

he moves toward you so fast that you nearly miss him - the guards lowering you back onto your knees

hongjoong’s gloved hand coming down to hold your cheek

“and hey little mercenary, if you are right and he is a dragon - then you two can share a cell and you can be his first welcoming meal, if you know what i mean.”

this he whispers, low and harsh into your ear

you want to say something - god you want to bite and snarl at this stupid prince - but you can’t

you’re frozen, being pulled back up off your feet and watching over the prince’s shoulder as the body of the dragon boy is hoisted up and you two are brought down and down and down

into the darkest depths of the palace

you’re thrown so hard against the cold floor that you almost blackout from the hit you take on your head

you don’t only because the dragon boys body is thrown in next and you have to move fast enough out of the way that he doesn’t fall directly ontop of you

with your cheek pressed to the floor you curl up into a ball

for the first time, in a very long time, you feel helpless

your whole life has been built on your own back, running around through danger and defiance and now you were here

with no freedom - alone - with a monster

you shut your eyes, the echo of the loud metal gate shutting behind you before your body

worn out from everything shuts down

when you wake up - you dont know how much time has passed, but you aren’t on the floor anymore

instead you are laying flat across the bench that sticks out from the side of the dungeon wall and your hand is resting on something hot - so hot you pull it away immediately only to look down and see the dragon boy

perched against the side of your bed

he’s been given some old rags to put on and when he turns his head at your sudden startle

you see a gigantic bruise on the side of his face

“what happened-”

“they told me to hurt you. i told them - i don’t hurt humans.”

you’re still too tired to peace apart what he means by who and what in the world he’s talking about altogether

instead you lay back down and groan

“ok so dragon boy-”

“yunho”

you open your eyes

“you have a name?”

“all humans have a name.”

“well you’re not exactly....wait” you sit back up and look at yunho this time more clearly

“wait i need you to clarify something for me.”

his eyes almost look as if they’ve lost their pupil - becoming just an empty void of darkness - but he nods slowly when you ask;

“are you - do you have a family? are you a person or just a -”

“they’ve been killed, my family. humans don’t like my type of human, dragonborn humans.”

he is still looking at you - in that almost soulless bleak way - you don’t get it

well you do, you are the reason both of you are in the mess theoretically, but still

“ok, well. i just had an amazing idea. how about you turn back into a big dragon and go take revenge on the prince im pretty sure his family is the one that well - you know - did whatever to your family.”

you wave your hand around like its nothing, but yunho doesn’t budge

he turns slowly away from you and shakes his head

“i cant hurt more humans.”

“um im pretty sure you hear that big blubbering idiot back in the forest.”

“that’s because-” yunho stops and you edge forward “that’s because what?”

but he gets up and moves across the dungeon to the opposite side

narrowing your eyes you get up and put your hands on your hips

“well if you don’t turn into a dragon and break us out of here, then yunho you are going to die in here with me. i dont think prince hongjoong is going to be gracing us with warm meals or nice beds anytime soon.”

yunho doesn’t move, doesn’t react or seem aware of your presence

you don’t understand it - “why can’t you then just turn into a dragon and break us out of here without hurting anyway. we can just esca-”

“i cant.”

“what do you mean ‘you can’t’ ive seen you turn into a dragon twice a-”

“im too weak, unless i eat soon i wont have the power to sustain my monster form.”

you heave a huge sigh, half of annoyance and half of defeat

just as you predicted, no meals or visitors come for the rest of the day

the silence between you and yunho just grows deeper until two whole days have past and you’re so weak from starving and dehydration that you cant even stand up anymore

all you can think about is how you are going to die soon

how all these years of survival and honing your craft as an archer was for absolutely nothing

to die in the dungeon of the palace

suddenly a sound comes from somewhere, footsteps growing closer.

you half dont believe it - you think your mind is conjuring it up and that maybe they’re deaths footsteps

the reaper here to take you when you hear a familiar scoff

“you haven’t eaten them yet dragon boy? i should have known - you really are nothing but some poor beggar they found in the streets.”

seonghwa?

something metal clatters to the floor

“here - eat this while they’re asleep. if anything, youve done nothing wrong. it’s that scoundrel's idiocy that got you into this mess.”

you wait till the footsteps start up again and then dim into the silence

gathering whatever is left in your joints, you force yourself to sit up and see what seonghwa brought

on the tray are three slices of bread - you look once at yunho before lunging at them like a rat on a piece of meat

it must take you under a second to devour them and then just as you finish you turn and see yunho staring at you

“first come first serve”

you turn and tell yourself the weird feeling in your stomach isnt guilt

plus.........this dragon boy.......isn’t he..............isn’t he going to just crack and eat you-

“i dont eat people.”

you jump, which is weird considering your body can barely bare its own weight

“wh-at?”

“i dont eat people. dragons dont eat people, so im not going to eat you like that man says i will.”

“right.........well.” yeah ok, so the feeling is guilt “what do you eat?”

“what humans eat.”

“ah - well, seonghwa mentioned wanting to keep you alive so im sure he’ll be back with more-”

yunho stands up, again the daunting nature of his giant stature almost catches you off guard and he slowly makes his way over to the now empty tray

there is nothing on it and he takes the plate the bread was on and smashes it

“what the hell-”

“i heard a rat last night, im going to kill it and eat it.” he picks up one of the shards and you gag but yunho doesn’t even flinch

he returns to his corner and you return to your bench

you want to lay down and just close your eyes, start either thinking of a plan of escape or again of how you’re going to die in here alone

when you cant help but ask again;

“so why do people think dragons want to eat them?”

the shard in yunho’s hand clatters and you want to scold yourself for being noisy - seriously, can’t you just lay here and succumb to this torture in peace?

but yunho speaks again

“because they dont understand us. they just want us to disappear and to make something disappear you kill it yourself or you make it so scared it hides away.”

“sorry but how are you, a dragon, going to be scared of some humans making up stories abou-”

you stop yourself before you finish because something in your memory blooms like an unwanted weed in a fake pottery of flowers

a memory from your own childhood

the taunting of the other kids around you, pointing fingers and telling you to go away, to force yourself into a corner, to leave them alone because you were a little different and a lot more poor

you wrap your hands around yourself

you dont have to as him why dragons would be scared of humans

humans are more terrifying than most other living things

yunho seems to sense the shift of the mood in the atmosphere

he clears his throat and continues

“so we did hide away, to keep ourselves safe but - sometimes hiding doesnt mean the people who hated you forget. so slowly, one by one, our kind were killed. and now im left alone.....probably going to be killed as well.”

for a long time you don’t say anything, you are sure yunho thinks you’ve fallen back into your weak sleep

but you can’t even close your eyes if you try, tears that you havent wept in years make a small river down the canyon of your face

“you didnt deserve that.”

you finally say, but you don’t know if you’re talking to him or to yourself

you and yunho fall into a routine.

you fake falling into a deep sleep from weakness and whatever scraps seonghwa brings for yunho you two end up sharing now

somehow you are sure seonghwa has caught on, its been a week and you arent dead which cant be possible unless youre eating and drinking something

but one time he mumbles that you are probably the one catching and eating rats

but it isnt just the scraps you and yunho share

the nights in the dungeon are inexplicably cold

to the point where your fingers almost lose sense from the numbness and it gets to a point where it is so bad that you have to ask yunho to come over to you

his skin is still so much hotter than yours -from the dragons blood you assume - and touching him feels better than freezing

the first night you ask him, he sits rigid at your side as you wrap your hands around his thick wrists

but gradually he lets you slip closer, or maybe you let yourself slip closer

till you are almost wrapped into the crook of his chest for complete warmth

neither of you talks much - you have no questions to follow up the slaughter of the dragonborns and yunho can understand that there is a pain similar to his living inside of you

instead it becomes an unwritten bond - and you start to toil over how you are the reason you will both

one way or another

die in here

if you had only paid that fucking blacksmith his money back, you wouldn’t have stooped so low as to bring this poor boy to the feet of that cruel prince

but yunho doesn’t seem to hold any kind of grudge against you

in fact, you think you hallucinate it, but every night you two get closer you think something of a vibrancy comes back to him

one time he had even muffled against your hair a question about your archery

which you just answered with a vague “for self defense” which he didn’t seem to all believe

and you had pulled back to see him almost surpassing a laugh - wanting to tell him off it had gotten caught in your throat

somehow even through the darkness you could see the the outline of his strong features

thinking back to when you’d hit him with that poisioned arrow

and he had laid there in front of you, completely naked - literally - with long eyelashes on soft cheeks and a strong line on his jaw dipping into a sturdy and toned neck

you couldn’t think that way though, those were useless as thoughts of escape where now

so you’d pretended to ignore them and tucked your head back into his chest

and finally, when you think the time is slowly coming

creeping up with the way seonghwa has reduced the scraps he gives and you can hear him sneering about how you have to just give in someday

you say it into yunho’s chest

“im sorry”

“for what?”

“for being the reason the last dragonborn has to die.”

you’re right - because before you two can peel away from each other the next morning - the dungeon cell is thrown open

and two guards pull you up and to your feet

yunho’s body hitting the floor resounds through your ears - it sounds just the same as when he feel after killing that goon who’d tried to kidnap you back in the forest

and when his body was thrown to the floor in front of hongjoong

it pierces your ears and muddies out whatever the guards are saying

execution? lying to the crown? you don’t care

you just reach your hand out to yunho - going blurry in your weak vision

“just go and accept your death!”

a guard shouts and you agree, you should go and you should accept your death

“just dont kill him”

you mumble, half stringing the words together

“just please dont kill him”

the guards laugh they ask you to beg again - was this beggar you claimed to be a dragon actually your lover all along?

you see yunho slowly get to his feet and you don’t care about what they’re saying

you don’t care that you’ve been living this principal life of loneliness for years

a monster of your own traumas creation

you try to reach out for yunho again

“just dont kill him”

and then, just as one of the guards reaches for your neck - the other holding you slightly up and off the ground

you think you see a flash of gold - mistaking it for the light that must come at the end of the tunnel

when in fact, along with the strike, you feel the hands holding you up drop

and before you know it, you are in a pile of two bodies and the sound of a resounding roar breaks you out of your stupor

you look up - eyes wide - and you see a dragon

but no, it’s not a dragon, it’s yunho - with his huge tinted wings and silted eyes but the chest and legs of his human form

“yunho?”

you ask as if you don’t believe it to be him, until he picks you up and pulls you into him

it’s the same burning chest you’ve been pressing into these nights - it is yunho - but why is he only semi transformed?

as if reading your mind he answers,

“only so much rats and crumbs can do.”

you have half the mind to laugh before you hear a stampede coming down the dungeon stairs

the noise must have caused the other guards to be alerted and you want to tell yunho that, but he just picks you up and charges ahead

“wh-what are you doing they-”

you want to say ‘they’ll kill us’ but then you see yunho - with absolute elegance pounce himself up and through the barrage of men

his wings soar him up to the stairs before a single hand can be laid on you two and he grips you a little tighter

the last remnants of his human form start to shift and change and just as he rounds the corner with you in his arms

you hear seonghwa and prince hongjoong - one or the other ordering that the dragon be shot on sight

you want to say something, but yunho completes his transformation and before you know it

he is breaking through the glass of one of the palace windows and you are being projected up and toward a blue sky that you haven’t seen in what feels like years

“ho-how did you transform fully?”

“you bit me.”

“what?”

“you bit me, when you sucked the poison out of my blood so you bonded me to you.”

you are about to ask what the hell that means when you realize, you are talking to yunho through his thoughts - he’s in dragon form so he can’t possibly be speaking

so you just exclaim, “how long have you knew - about this bond?!??”

he holds you closer and suddenly the smooth glide upward turns into a spin, avoiding the princes’ arrows which are parading into the sky now

you tuck your head into him, the hot skin now scaly and almost cold

“when you touched me the first night - when you asked me to hold you because you were freezing, it rejuvenated something in me.”

you try to wrap your mind around what is going on - dizzy from the reality and the flying and the - oh you almost look down and scream

“then every night, as we grew closer i could feel it coming back. i could feel my dragon blood boiling and there is only one thing that can do that to my kind.”

he beats his wings and you two fly higher and higher

into the untouchable stratosphere - not even winged horses and zeus’ arrows could reach here

“two things actually, either good healthy meals or the power of a dragons bond to the one they love.”

you swallow - eyes opening slightly as you still avoid looking down

“a-and how does a dragon bond to someone they love?”

you feel his body rattle - his dragon body - so you assume that to be a laugh

“we drink each others blood.”

before you know it, you and yunho are landing softly back deep in the forest somewhere

it’s far and unfamiliar and when yunho transforms back into a human he nearly collapses

you fall with him, holding his large shoulders in your hands and asking him again

“because i drank your blood? but you didn’t drink mine?”

he looks up - the yellow in his eyes receding into a warm brown

“it doesn’t matter, a part of me is inside you and it is reacting to me. if im with you, ill always be able to turn and protect you.”

you can’t believe it but you are feeling flustered - for the first time in your life, the strong mercenary you - is so close to embarrassment you might die

you lean down, half to hide your face and half to make the first move out of pride, as you press your lips to him

you feel a large hand push you in closer and you almost bite yunho’s poor lip in surprise

“sorry, sorry - its just you’re naked right, turning back into a human and all?”

he blinks

“yes, is that a problem?”

you shift a little away, making space between the two of you, even after all thats happened

“no just - um - well, where should we go now?”

“south?”

“no that’s where the blacksmith whose still after me lives.”

yunho tilts his head, “who?”

you smile and shake your head

“no one, no one - but um we should get you some clothes first.”

somewhere back in the palace, prince hongjoon turns to seonghwa

whose eyes are wide and shoulders shaking

“he was a dragon, that little theif wasn’t lying.” seonghwa swallows “my prince, what do you want to do?”

hongjoong turns, the crown flinging off his head as his bow and arrow fall to the ground

“what do you think. if i can hire a mercenary to go kill me a dragon, i can hire another to kill me a mercenary and a dragon in one - can’t i?”

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atsunflower · 4 years

Text

Hospital for souls — Tokyo nights.

Rated: SFW

Author note: Man, this one took me ages to write. And I don't even know how I could write this much for the second chapter, this is about 3,2k words. I'm tired because I decided to change lots of things in this chapter and I hope you all like it. Also, feedbacks are much appreciated!

Warnings: This chapter contains cursing, swearing, graphic descriptions of blood, violence and surgical procedures (Kind of inaccurate but only for writting purposes. Don't do it at home, kids). Also, there are slight mentions of anxiety, OCD and PTSD.

Enjoy the reading!

II — Tokyo nights

Previous || Next

You felt anxious.

Everytime you walked through Itachiyama halls, the hairs in your nape would stand and your skin, prickle in fear; a bitter taste would take over your mouth because everything was too much.

"Look, you don't have to worry. Itachiyama wouldn't dare to lay a hand on you because it would mean war." The memory of Suna's voice did nothing to soothe your nerves.

You knew that Inarizaki did not care. If anything, Itachiyama harming you would be like killing two birds with a stone: the Miya would get rid of your existence and then, have a excuse to go after your husband. "They know the twins' intentions, you know. It's not like Sakusa is dumb. Being honest, the guy is the most cautious man I ever saw" you recalled Suna saying it in your wedding's eve.

But one month after the deal, you still felt suffocated.

You opted to lay low and don't wander around the house; Sakusa's men were still suspicious of you and kept sending nasty glares in your direction whenever they saw you.

Since you weren't allowed to work anymore, boredom was killing you. At least, the maids were nice enough — or just too afraid to go against the lady's will — and let you do as you pleased. You then took over some house chores to busy yourself.

Cleaning, tidying and baking.

Sometimes gardening when you needed some fresh air.

"What a shame for Oyabun-sama, his lady is lowering herself to the peasants' level" you would hear some gossip here and there. Not that you cared, though.

"Sakusa-sama" you heard the housekeeper calling, the new name still foreign to your ears.

"Kaede-san? Do you need something?" The old woman wearing a green hakama stood in front of you, accompanied by a girl with dark blond hair.

"This is Kuribayashi Runa, the new maid working here" she said presenting the young woman by her side. The latter politely bowed at you.

"New maid? Why?"

"I'm afraid it's not appropriated the lady take care of house chores. These are strict orders from Komori-sama" her tone was dry. Kaede was never hostile towards you, but you could tell she wasn't fond of your presence either. "Also, remember you're having lunch with oyabun-sama today"

You released a shaky breath, dismissing their presence.

Why yakuza was taking even the smallest things from you?

Prying to the clock on the nightstand, you realized it was past noon and the lunch hasn't been served yet. Sakusa didn't show up either.

After being destitute of your duties, you went for a shower and killed time by reading in your bedroom.

Did something happen? You wondered.

Punctuality was something very fancied in this household and everything inside the mansion functioned like clockwork.

But how come Sakusa didn't show up yet? Why the food isn't set?

"[Name]" The door to your bedroom was open without ceremony, Komori's voice sounding harsh when he called you. The look on his face wasn't amicable either. "Sakusa wants to see you. Now."

The brown haired male did not spare you another glance, turning his back to you. You followed the tall man in an auto-pilot mode, already dreading whatever was going on.

The Kobun was taking you to Sakusa's office.

The large doors always made you feel unsettled; you never were there before. Being called to this room sent shivers down your spine.

Komori knocked the door only to the faint voice of your husband acknowledge your presence. Getting in, you were stunned. The whole mansion held a modern architecture with a minimalist design, and this room was true to Itachiyama's style.

The walls were pristine white and the floorboards were dark and shiny. The furniture held the impersonal style your husband seemed to appreciate and was clean to the eyes. Everything millimetrically positioned, aesthetically appealing.

By the glass wall, Sakusa stood proud. His back facing you, body clad in a black suit. The way he admired the stunning land through the windows held a power you never saw before.

Right now, he looked like a god rulling his own creation.

"Komori, go" his stone cold voice ordered the other male. The kobun did as he was told, leaving you two in this sinister room.

"I don't know if you are too brave ou just too dumb" he didn't turn to face you. The cold tone boomed loud within your ears and you felt cornered.

Forget the god thing. The man in front of you was the demon himself.

"What do you mean?" You asked, brows furrowing when suddenly, his enraged features loomed over you, even from afar.

"Don't fucking play dumb. I've warned you to stay out of my way" his menacing stare made the breath hitch in your throat "Where is the fucking folder?"

"I don't know what are you talking about!" You meekly replied, seeing his body growing close to yours.

"Thats it. You have a death wish." He merely stated "You're the only enemy inside this fucking house"

Without knowing what was going on, you didn't stand a chance to defend yourself. You tried opening your mouth in protest but your brain didn't come up with anything.

"Listen. I don't have the time to play whatever game you and those brothers of yours are planning." Sakusa scowled "In the first opportunity, you get to screw up. Fascinating."

"I don't even know what you're talking about" the cry left your mouth and your body trembled. The man before you grimaced at your outburst. He let out an exasperated breath, still trying to keep his cool.

"Do you expect me to believe you? Fine, I'll play along, then" He sat at the imposing chair behind his desk "The manila folder that was on this desk was stolen. You're the only one inside this house who has reasons to take it."

"It wasn't me! I never entered this room before!" You retorted, anxiety crawling in your skin. He fished his cellphone from his pockets, reading whatever on his screen

"Can't be proven, though it looks like we didn't find anything in your stuff–"

"Wait! You fucking messed with my things?" You cut him off in rage, observing him reaching over for a flask on the wooden surface.

"Well, you messed with mine first." He said while rubbing some hand sanitizer on his palms.

You rolled your eyes at his antics.

"Whatever" and then turned to leave.

"Where are you going?" The sarcastic voice filled your ears, making your steps to halt "As much as I despise it, you won't be out of my sight anytime soon"

God, You trully hated it here.

It was nighttime and true to his words, neither Sakusa nor Komori left you alone for the whole day.

Their presence was unnerving, to say the least, and everytime they talked to each other, you body went stiff.

Their speech wasn't explicit as you thought it would be. Both of them treated the matter as if they were making normal business instead of some yakuza stuff.

It didn't sound violent.

But you knew better.

"Have Fukuroudani made contact yet?" The Oyabun asked.

"Yes. Konoha told me they will be waiting by eleven" Komori peered at his watch "One hour to go. We should get going, then"

Sakusa turned his attention to you.

"Go get changed. We're leaving in ten minutes."

You did as you were told; black would do, you decided. Grabbing a wool coat and a satin scarf, you were ready to go.

Why the hell Tokyo nights were so cold at this time of year?

In the living room, Sakusa and Komori were waiting for you.

"Man, bringing [Name] along will be a pain" the brown haired male said while stretching.

"The stolen docs were about this meeting. We gotta bring her along if Inarizaki tries to do something" The taller one reasoned.

"Ah shit, this is so fucked up. I dont know how you agreed to it" Komori lamented.

Being honest, neither Sakusa did.

"Why do I have to tag along?" Your voice startled them. Your husband scowled at you while Komori opened the front door, both males ignoring your question.

A sleek black car was waiting for you three. Komori took the driver seat and Sakusa sat on passenger's side. You found comfort in the beige leather of the backseat, appreciating the warmth provided by the air conditioned.

"Shouldn't we bring more men with us?" The Kobun asked.

"There's a back up car in downtown. They can reach us in no time if something comes up" Sakusa said while covering his face with a mask "Also, I doubt someone would dare to mess with both Fukurodani and Itachiyama" He spared a glance at you through the rearview mirror.

You sighed. Anxiety didn't let you be for the whole day and now, fear was taking its toll on you.

With your temple resting on the window, you observed the city lights.

You loved Tokyo and how bright it was, although, you loved the suburbs even more; the industrial aesthetic and the narrow streets brought you the comfort you didn't feel in the last three months.

You lived here for your whole life, after all.

It wasn't a surprise when you spotted the building you used to live in.

A surge of homesickness found its place in your guts and your chest constricted in longing.

The drive lasted five more minutes before Komori parked the car by a hangar. When you lived in this neighbourhood, the place was deem abandoned with its vandalized walls and rusty gates. But inside there, you found our the interior was really neat, proving you wrong.

"Sakusa-san, Komori-san!" A blonde male came into view, eyeing you with wariness. "I see you brought your lady tonight. It's a pleasure having you here, miss" the indifferent tone of his voice said otherwise, tough.

You merely noded at him while the heads of Itachiyama greeted the man.

"Shall we start, then?"The blond asked before opening a door to your right. You felt unsettled knowing they wouldn't want your presence there.

"As you wish, Konoha-san" was all Sakusa said while a woman appeared out of nowhere.

"I'm afraid your wife would be pretty bored in our meeting. Yukie here will keep her company for the time being." The man Konoha pointed at the brunette with short hair. Sakusa sent you a hard stare before entering the room.

You both sat on some wooden boxes filled with god knows what. You eyes wandered through the hole place, trying to find something entertaining.

The woman hadn't said anything for a whole eternity before breaking the silence.

"So, Miya-san, huh?" The way she said the damned name tickled you off.

"I'm no Miya"

"Yeah, I know. I've heard of you" Yukie chuckled, looking at you with despise. You cocked a brow ate her.

"Sure you did" She was about to retort before the door was open again.

"Well, it's always a pleasure to make business with Itachiyama. We will see you off, then" Konoha said before reaching for the exit.

It was long past midnight when the meeting ended. The five of you were by the gates, Konoha and Komori doing some chit-chat, when four people appeared out of nowhere, knives in their hands.

"Ara, ara. look at these yakuza big shots" A man with an undercut said, fidgeting with the blade between his fingers. In your periferic vision you saw Yukie running back to the hangar and the three men by your side reaching for the guns by their hips.

Among the other four, a figure seemed familiar to you.

"Kuribayashi Runa" The name left your lips in a whisper. The female let out a mocking laugh and Sakusa frowned at you.

"Explain" Your husband immediatelly demanded, grimacing.

"She is the new maid working in your house. Today was her first day." Runa scoffed at your reply.

"Do I look like a maid to you, bitch?" And then, everything went into slow motion.

The woman came in your direction, holding the knife high in the air whilst you stepped backwards, being cornered by the gate.

You saw the blade glinting under the street lights and saw it aiming for your chest.

But it never came.

A hand pushed you downwards and you fell to the ground along a clattering sound. Sakusa's shadow loomed over you, trying to evade the knife.

By your left, you saw Konoha and Komori fighting the other guys, their guns useless in a hand-to-hand fight.

The adrenaline rushed through your bloodstream, your mind going frantic. It felt like one of those life or death situations you faced in the surgery room.

How can I save someone's life right now?

You saw Sakusa's pistol laying on the ground next to you. He and the woman were a couple of inches from your body.

You knew what you had to do.

With your leg reaching forward, you made her trip. The knife she held was kicked away by your husband.

"Sakusa! Watch out for Komori!" And you threw the gun at him.

A second too late, the bang echoed and an agonizing scream ripped through the night.

By your left, Runa and two of the guys were already running away.

The man Komori fought collapsed to the ground clutching his leg and cursing under his breath.

But the most disturbing sight was the way Komori held his arm, whimpering and cursing while his right hand clutched the knife's handle.

The blade tore his flesh and crossed the limb right next to its joint, in a weird angle.

Yukie came back, carrying a rope and a pistol.

"I sent some of our men to their direction." She said while helping Konoha to restrain the guy who attacked you.

"What the fuck you guys want?" The blond asked before kicking the man in his guts. The latter spat blood, giving a crooked smile at Konoha.

"Johzenji is coming" Was all he said before passing out.

"Yukie, carry him to the basement." He ordered "Since it happened on our territory, we will be investigating the incident. We count with Itachiyama's cooperation and will keep you updated" Konoha bowed at Sakusa, before rushing back to the building.

Komori was still on his knees, head hanging low. A grunt went past his lips and you knew what he was doing.

"Komori! Don't!" But again your shout came too late and the man ripped the knife away from his limb. Blood rushed through his fingers and dampened the suit he wore. "Fuck" you rushed to his side, Sakusa's features going livid.

"We gotta take him to a hospital" you said.

"No!" Komori croaked out, getting a hold of your arm. You knew what he meant, but you also knew what could definetely happen if he ignored the situation.

Sakusa was frozen in front of you two, unsure of what to do. You took a deep breath, mustering up all the courage you had.

"You have to trust me, then" you held the brown haired male by his torso and gave Sakusa a determined glare.

The oyabun noded at you and it was all the assurance you needed before ripping out Komori's blazer and transforming your scarf into a tourniquet.

In your old apartment, you ushered the two males inside, taking them both to your kitchen.

Sakusa sat the Kobun in a chair while you went to another room. A minute later, you brought two metallic cases, some flasks and a first aid box.

In the cupboards you took a flask of alcohol and squeezed it to the table, wipping it with some gauzes.

Positioning Komori's arm over the wooden surface, you sterilized his wounds with povidone and then turned your attention to Sakusa.

"I'll start it now" before proceeding to the sink. Sakusa admired the movements you made while washing your hands "I need you to do the same" and he complied.

The male helped you to put the gloves and mask on and to set your instruments over the table.

Looking at Komori, you realized he passed out in spite of the pain. The blood loss wasn't huge, but you did not knew why he fell unconcious.

You prepared two syringes of anesthesics. Sakusa sent you a weird glare, brows furrowing at you.

"Don't look at me like this. I'm a surgeon you know" and then you did the infusion. "Its not that weird if I have some hospital shit at home".

You opened the cut with a scalpel. Scrutinizing at the wound, you saw the artery was hit.

"Thank god." You let out a breath of relief, realizing the damage was little. It didn't need an anastomosis, so some stiches would do. "The ulnar artery was hit but it won't be too hard to fix. Although, I can't tell if there's a nerve damage" and you started to close the vessel's lesion.

You observed if there was any muscle or tendon damages and proceeded to suture the gashes, making sure the procedure was well done. You then patched it up and imobilized the limb with a makeshift splint, before undoning the tourniquet.

"Let's take him to my bedroom" With that, you both carried the unconcious man to your bed. "I need to check him overnight and– Shit! Your face!" It was just now you realized he had a gash on his cheek.

Sakusa flinched, feeling the blood drying over his skin and dampening the mask he used. He removed the cloth and observed the cut with the front camera of his phone. He frowned at the sight.

"It can get an infection and leave a nasty scar. Do you want me to patch it up?" You offered after checking Komori's blood pressure and his heartbeat.

A please left his lips in a whisper.

You both went back to the kitchen and you used a new set of tools. Holding his face between your gloved hands, you admired his facial features.

Sakusa was pretty.

Almost ethereal with his thin nose, almond eyes and thick brows. In addition, te two moles on his forehead complimented his beauty.

You snapped out of your reverie, getting to work.

"Finished. This kind of suture won't leave a visible scar" you said cutting the thread and reinforcing the stitch with tape.

Your finger lingered a bit longer on the apple of his cheek. Sakusa grabbed your hand and held it for a while before getting away from you and settling himself on your couch. You ignored the ghost of his touch on your skin and went back to check on Komori.

That night, Sakusa realized that no one ever handled him with such care, as if he was made of fine china.

I like that touch, he decided.

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335 notes · View notes

apenapaperandadoofus · 4 years

Note

Hey idk if I've already sent this but how would V, jumin and zen react when mc is on her period and gets angry very very easily (you accidentally bump into her? Well now you're dead) and then mc gets very sad because she got angry at them and starts crying (I'm like this when I'm on my period and no one comes near me lol it sucks) it's fine it you don't want to do it but if you decide to do it then thank you so much 😊😊😊

OOF GIRL SAME I-

Also imma try a new format hope y’all like it

Zen, Jumin and V reacting to an MC who gets super emotional on her period:

Zen:

So this poor fella has no idea that you’re on your period, and that day, when he came come, he found some delicious candies on the table. He thought, oh well, why not eat one? They look absolutely delicious. Biggest mistake of his life. You came in the kitchen, just in time to find your boyfriend munching on your delicious candies.

THE AUDACITY OF THIS MAN.

You glared at him and Zen immediately froze, midway through the candy. Before Zen could defend himself you very angrily asked him WHY did he eat YOUR candy??? Did he buy it? No??? Then WHY WAS HE EATING IT!

You had been saving that candy since the morning, and after a stressful day decided to eat it while you watched your comfort movies and series that you always binged when you were in your period. It made you so mad that he had taken a bit of candy, and he realized. Zen tried to apologize, over and over but you wouldn’t hear it.

You huffed and quickly ran to your room, banging closed the door.

And that’s when Zen realized, he fucked up.

After a few minutes Zen gently knocked on the door, and you replied with a sort of rude “what.”

“Y/N...I’m sorry I ate your candy without permission. I know how much you love them and to eat them without asking was terrible for me to do. Would you forgive me if I went and bought you some more? And how about I add a snuggle session for later hm? Would that make you happy babe?”

It went quiet. Slowly, you opened the bedroom door and tackled Zen in a big hug. “IM SORRY!” You cried. “I’m just on my period and I’m so emotional today and I just got really mad for no reason, Zenny you’re allowed to eat how many candies you want I’m sorry!”

Zen chuckled and held you tight, telling you it was alright. The rest of the afternoon, the two of you watched TV and ate some of your favorite food, cuddling and giving each other kisses.

Jumin:

He was so busy with work!!!!

You knew that you shouldn’t get mad about something like that, but you couldn’t help but feel neglected! That afternoon you and Jumin were supposed to eat together and watch some movies, Jumin had taken the day off just for that, because you told him he needed to rest. Yet...there he was, locked in his office, on the phone with his coworkers and documents piled up in his desk.

For about the fifth time that day, you gently knocked on Jumin’s door and brought him some food. You were both supposed to be eating together, but that was two hours and a half ago. He must’ve been hungry and you weren’t in the mood for a romantic dinner anymore. Jumin looked up as you placed the plate on his desk, and he grabbed your hand and kissed it, as a thank you.

“I will be done soon, my love.” He whispered, but you knew that he would probably be busy the rest of the day. You shook your head and tried to smile, telling him it was fine.

It also didn’t help that you were in your period. You tried to leave as quick as possible because you didn’t want to be mad at this perfection of a man. It wasn’t his fault and he was doing his best! Yet you still felt way too emotional and you couldn’t help but...feel a bit angry. It was mostly because you knew he was overworking himself, and you felt like he was ignoring your concerns for him...

You went to your bed and laid there, under the mattresses and didn’t come out until you hear a silent knock on the door. “My love..?” Jumin asked, as he went into the room. Slowly you sat up on the bed and Jumin looked at you with guilt all over his face. “I’m so sorry.” He said, after a few minutes of silence. You slowly opened your mouth to tell him that it was alright. You were just worried. But all that came out of your mouth was a pound sob and before you could realize it, tears were streaming down your face. Jumin quickly walked over to you and gave you a hug, and you tightened your grip on him while you sobbed.

“I’m, I’m sorry” you cried. “I just- why are they such assholes, I- you never get to r-rest, and I want to spent t-time with you, but they just w-want you all for themselves, and today w-was supposed to be OUR day, but y-you had to work again, and you al-always d-do you beeeeest”

“Love-”

“AND I, dont w-want to be ungrateful or anything b-because you’re doing so m-much but I don’t want you t-to suddenly collapse because of overworking y-yourself and you d-don’t listen to me, Jumin I don’t want to end up a widow because y-you die from overwork you know?! And I-it’s not fair you ignore me g-getting worried, WAHHHHH I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.”

After a few minutes of sobbing, you finally calmed down and wiped your eyes. “I’m sorry Jumin. I know this is not the best way to express myself...but in my defense my hormones are going a bit crazy right now because of my period...”

“You’re on your period?” He asked, and you nodded. Say no more. Jumin immediatly took a whole week off and spent the rest of the time cooking for you, buying you crazy amounts of chocolates, hugging you and kissing you. He knew you were just worried for him and he got why you would be a bit mad because he’s not taking care of himself, after all, he’s the same with you.

The rest of the time you both cuddled and kissed each other, watching your favorite movies and laying in bed till noon.

It had all happened in a flash. But V accidentally threw your chocolate cake on the floor. Your chocolate cake.

YOUR CHOCOLATE CAKE

You immediately gave a yelp and cried, and maybe also yelling at V a bit.

You were in your period, and right now the only thing that could make you feel better was a slice of chocolate cake. But V didn’t make that possible. As soon as you screamed at V “HEY V WHAT THE HELL” and he flinched you immediately feel bad.

V knelt on the floor beside you and tried to pick up the pieces of chocolate cake that he thought maybe you could save.

“I’m sorry Y/N.” He said, guiltily. You shook your head and tried not to cry.

“No V don’t apologize...gravity isn’t your fault, and I wasn’t watching my step. Sorry for getting mad.”

“But..I still bumped into you. Sorry.”

“V nO - I JUST SAID IT WASNT YOUR FAULT

“IM SORRYYY”

I’m just kidding lmao

After a thousand apologies, you hugged V and told him that he could make it up by helping you cook some more chocolate cake. That immediatly brightened both of your moods, and you spent the afternoon baking some delicious cake, and cookies, and cupcakes, and more cookies, and making tons and tons of sweet snacks (like torta chilena UFFF ITS DELICIOUS)

V was immediatly pardoned, and honestly who could stay mad at him for that long? You gave him a little peck on the nose and told him that everything was fine and that you were happy. Then you both went out to your little patio and ate your food while watching a beautiful sunset.

#mystic messenger #mysme zen #jumin han #jihyun mysme #saeyoung choi #saeran choi #mysme #yoosung kim #jaehee kang #choi bois

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ihatebnha · 3 years

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I really appreciate the Bakugo headcannons about the hair. I have pcos and the side effect of extra hair. I have it on my stomach, butt, thighs, sides of my face, and the past few years it's started growing longer, noticeable hair under my chin/along my neck, so I literally have a mini neck beard. I've dealt with it since puberty and its something that makes me think I'll never find love. I want it gone, but I've tried shaving and all that and it just comes back worse. My only hope is some form of permanent hair removal, but thats expensive. I get really sad when thinking about it. All these fic are like "he slid his hand up your silky smooth legs", but I'll never have that. My legs will always be hairy, what guy would want to run their hands up that. Who wants to look down and see a woman with a neck beard, horrible unruly sideburns, dark thick hair running up to her belly button. Noone. It hurts too that my mom mentions it every now and then. "It looks really bad." "You gotta do something about it." "I told you not to mess with it, it just makes it look worse". It makes me cry, because she tells me to do something about it, but if I try then it comes back worse and then she tells me I shouldn't have done it because I know it comes back worse? I love her, but it hurts hahaha.

Anon!! I’m really glad you appreciated them, I hope I was able to do you some justice and offer a little bit of relief. im always trying to make sure my writing is inclusive for everyone, and that includes things like skin color, body hair, weight, etc… so if you ever want me to do more, or include certain stuff in requests, or even just have suggestions for how I can do better next time, I always want to hear them!

I honesty find it super weird that most fics present the reader as “small,” or “delicate” or “cute” or anything of the sort… because even tho I understand how/why some people find that appealing… that is not the only way that the concept of shyness can or does manifest itself... or how people physically look.

The truth is, no matter how cute or tiny or unblemished somebody is or wants to be, we, as humans, aren’t all like that and often can’t be. AND THAT IS OKAY! Being those things does not make you any more lovable or worth it than anyone else, and presenting such ideas in fics just enforces the idea that those characteristics are what makes someone desirable, which really just isn’t true… like… at all. And as fun as that can be for a while (because it is fun to feel cutesy or whatever), it’s actually pretty damaging and annoying.

(Im def not saying fic writers are bad or mean for using such tropes, especially since I’m sure ive done used them, too…. i’m just saying that at this point, its kinda too widespread)

Even though I know I can offer you very little relief… I just want you to know that you are not dirty, gross, ugly, unattractive, unlovable, ANYTHING, because you are hairy. Anyone who says otherwise is a WEAK, PUSSY ASS BITCH who has never had a real problem in their life and is doing you a favor by weeding themselves out.

The people who really matter (and real men, for that matter), don’t want or need you to change yourself, and they are out there just waiting to love you, even if you haven’t found them yet. DO NOT EVER SETTLE.

Honestly I’m not gonna go into it any further bc I have too many thoughts but the whole conversation around body hair just pisses me off. PEOPLE HAVE HAIR ON THEIR BODIES and If u expect otherwise or are mean abt it… you are a fucking pinhead.

(This includes bitches who are like: “I dont care if you have hair, I just personally prefer to shave!!” .... don’t care didnt ask plus how does it feel to be a slave to the patriarchy? Is eating internalized misogyny for breakfast every day really that delicious?)

anyway…. It’s not, nor will ever be, your responsibility to cater to losers who dont understand how the human body, and by extension, your medical condition works. You dont owe anyone an explanation, and one day you will definitely find the right people to hang out with, and a comfortable solution for your hair!!

One of the reasons I like BNHA is because I know for a fact those boys don’t care about SHIT!!!!! They do not have the time or energy to care about someone only for their looks…. and I know this might seem unbelievable or opportunistic, but I literally think abt the fact that the bnha boys like body hair every day… and I have come up with reasons that back my opinions up for ALL OF THEM (soooo… ask me abt them some time LOL)

(Also im sorry bc this is rude… but im definitely omw to smack the shit out of ur mom…. that attitude is sooooooo rank and nasty lol… even if u love her.. I DON’T and she owes you money for laser if she’s really gonna make comments like that)

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autisticangus · 4 years

Text

anyway im so out of the loop on the mcelboys

i pretty much only keep semi-up to date with Sawbones at this point, not cuz i dont still LIKE everything else, just a lot has been goin on in my life

if anyone wants a long and rambly update on All Of The Bullshit im gonna stick a read more down here, asks are open and its cool to message me abt any of it if u want cuz i have some really nice and cool followers/mutuals here that make me comfy talkin abt that shit

as far as the future of this blog goes i wanna start using it more again! the mcelroys have gotten me out of some really dark places before so i hope having more connection to this community and the people here and their content again will help me like it has in the past! ill probs post more general mcelroy content here than previously rather than just taz btw i just gotta fuckin uhhhhh,,,, catch up on a bunch of shit again before this blog is even semi active lmaoo but im like alive and on tumblr regularly again!!

Wow u clicked on this and wanna hear me talk? Ur awesome and sweet, thanks for caring!

These past two years have been extraordinarily tough. This is gonna be a pretty long and detailed post that deals with the sensitive topics of emotional abuse, abusive relationships, and alcoholism. Please read on with caution.

Back in March of 2019, so this was about 3-4 months after i left tumblr, I got a new boyfriend and things started out really good, he was kind of a "bad boy" and it was fun at first. Im kind of a goody-goody so it was very interesting for me at first to be with someone so different who had such different life experiences than me. I liked hearing his stories of living in a traphouse, and running with gangs, and selling drugs, and knowing people who had killed people. I assumed a LOT of it was lies, obviously, who just brags about that shit u know? I just rolled with it, didnt take it seriously, and found the imagined scenarios interesting to listen to. So much of it was obviously played up to make him seem cooler, and I shouldve seen that as the red flag it was, and all my friends did but I didnt.

He had a serious alcohol problem, I mean I had coffee in the morning and he had 2 four lokos before noon. it was bad. about 6 months into the relationship he decided i was cheating on him with my ex who i had recently reconnected with, we missed being friends and things were really going well talking and being friends again, he was really important to me! but my boyfriend saw this as yet another thing i was doing wrong. when he decided i was cheating, that become his focus of alcoholic rage. nearly every time he got drunk, which was several times a week, he would accuse me of things, he would yell and scream, he would call me horrible names and make me cry for literal hours, he never hit me but that shouldnt even matter, i was emotionally battered and mentally bruised and everything hurt. he gaslit me into believing i said and did things i never said or did, i admitted to things that were not real, and then i was yelled at for admitting them. i didnt know what to do.

he was threatening my ex too, he would get drunk and say he knew where he lived (he didnt) or he knew what car he drove (he didnt) and explained to me many times that although he had never killed someone, people had been killed before at his command. he said a bullet in the back of my ex’s brain was just a phone call and $500 away. somedays he would tell me he was just going to do it himself, with a hammer, or a kitchen knife, or whatever weapon he could get his hands on during his explanation of how he would do it. my only option was to agree, to say it didnt matter to me what happened to him, i had to pretend my on

/ly concern was him going to jail for the crime, if i showed any sign that i didn’t want my ex murdered, it clearly meant i was cheating on him.

i pretended to block my ex on social media to get him off my back and it worked a little bit but he still brought it up. and even if he didnt directly mention him, he would always tell me when he was drunk that i was the cause of all his problems, i was why he was so self conscious, i was why he drank so much, i was why he had to work so hard, i was why every single issue he had was happening. logically i knew it was wrong, but i was so conditioned to it by then that i just went with it. i knew that agreeing and apologizing made the fighting end quicker.

things spiraled this past summer. his job needed us to relocate so we moved like 4 states away, away from all my family and friends, and lived in a tiny hotel room for a month. during this time, his drinking was somehow worse. he was drunk literally every night but he was passing out so we didnt fight and i was relieved. i was depressed being stuck in the hotel room all day alone, but thankful i wasnt being abused at least. then he started getting into drunken fistfights with his coworkers in the hotel parking lot. one day he came home just in time to find one of his drunk coworkers trying to break into the room with me there desperately trying to keep him out. i was terrified and wanted to go home but he convinced me to stay. a couple weeks after that we travelled for his work again several more states away. his drinking got a little bit better here, but i was so depressed and lonely, i was so isolated, he was all i saw day in and day out besides his coworkers and i was nervous around them. one day the guy who tried to break in on me, purposefully, while drunk, hit another coworkers car and totaled it and tried to run the guy over and i saw the whole thing. a week later my boyfriend was also fired because he got so drunk he passed out in the hotel parking lot and the company needed to save face with the hotel after the whole car incident.

so we travelled back home, but not my home, to his where we lived isolated on a mountain with no phone signal or wifi. the house was old and not well kept from being empty for several years, half the appliances didnt work. i was more isolated than i have ever been in my life. for 4 months i stayed there and just dreaded him coming home because i knew he would be drunk again and he'd yell or accuse me of things or otherwise belittle me. it was horrible. my friends all said to leave and my parents said to leave but i was so brainwashed into thinking that if i was just a good little housewife and if i just stayed home and did the dishes and the laundry that he would be nicer but he still found things to point at and say i was cheating. he was also becoming really controlling about my food intake and weight and i already struggle with an eating disorder so that just made me feel even more like i had to stay, my brain felt like if i wasnt under his watchful eye id gain weight again, like somehow it was thanks to him i had lost weight and not my own choices.

one day last week i expressed to him wanting to leave, saying how unhappy i was, i told him how sad i felt and how i didnt think we were such a good match. he didnt take me seriously, so the next day when he got sloppy drunk before 5 pm i packed a small bag and went to my moms. i was just gonna stay for a night or two but he called and screamed at me for leaving without telling him, i told him he just didnt remember me telling him because he was so drunk, and he accused me of not caring about his feelings and made me sound like the bad guy for leaving without his permission. i told him it was just for a few days but the angrier he got the more i knew i was in the right and told him i was done. i told him we were breaking up and id come get my stuff soon.

i got my stuff while he was at work this past weekend and moved in with my best friend. im safe and happy now. things are looking so much better for me and im so thankful to my friends and family who supported me all the way to the end.

i just wanted to make this post because, i know its not mcelroy related, and a lot of ppl probably dont care for stuff like this on this kind of blog, but i think its important.

its important to friends and family of people in abusive relationships to be steady. dont give up your ground. even if the person keeps pushing back and wont leave the person, keep being there for them, it can take a long time, it took me almost 2 years to leave, it takes some people even longer, but just stay there for them and be there for them when they finally make that step. dont give up on them.

and to those who have been in these kinds of relationships, and especially those who are there right now: it is not your fault. it is so, so hard to leave, i know, but please try to find help and support and resources to do it. if all your friends dont like someone, theres a good reason for it. please dont fall into the trap of thinking your friends dont have the best intentions for you. there are so many things you may overlook in the moment that others can see from a mile away are horrible. especially if you have been abused in the past. its incredibly hard to tell what is a red flag when your gut instinct is that anything and everything is a red flag. surround yourself with people who you can trust and listen to them

and trust me, i know how hard it is when youre stuck in that spot of KNOWING you should go but fearing that first step away. its scary. its difficult. but it is worth it. find someone safe you can be with. and if you arent sure, find a reason to leave for just a few days, an excuse, anything. give yourself space from the abuser, tell yourself youre going back in a couple days, just get out from under the thumb long enough to clear your head and things will make more sense with the fog lifted.

when i first got in my car and put my kitten on my lap and told her we were going to my moms for a couple nights, i didnt know if that was the truth. i planned to come back and i knew i didnt want to. i only took enough stuff for a couple days. i couldnt imagine my life changing so drastically. where would i live? how would i make money? who take care of me? i had no clue about any of those things. but after a couple days away I realized i would take care of me. i remembered that i had worked jobs before i was with him, i could do it again. i remembered that i had options of where to live. all of those things were so clouded when i was with him, they felt like impossibilities. once i was away, even just for a short time, things were so much easier to parse.

and i know i had many privileges in this journey not everyone is afforded, and my heart goes out to those who read this and are in this situation and the options i had just arent accessible to you, i am so sorry, i wish i had something more to offer you but all i have is my story, and a wish that it gives you some hope at the very least, and a promise that if you need someone to talk to, im here, i will listen, and you will be heard and loved.

i just want everyone who reads to take something small but important away from it. love your friends, love yourself. please stay safe. please dont give up. remember love should not hurt.

#angus.txt #getting deep in here but it felt good to write #i love u all so much ok pls be good urselves

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squeeneyart · 4 years

Text

Breathe in the Salt - Chapter 7

AO3

Beta read by @thesnadger who does a great job

Tim and Martin sit out the nausea.

Martin talks to himself.

“You sure you don’t want to head home for the day?” Tim asked, picking at the grass beside him. He and Martin sat with their backs pressed against the cliff railing, facing away from the steep drop. The lighthouse loomed in front of them, barely casting a shadow as morning ticked closer to noon.

“Yeah, I’m okay,” Martin replied. He rested his arms on his knees, his chin buried into the fabric of his coat sleeves. “I don’t really feel like walking down the hill yet? I’ll at least wait for the others to get back.”

“Well, they should be here soon, unless the place Simon pointed us toward is yet another weird building that makes you feel like you’re falling into a big hole.” Tim squinted up at the sky and immediately seemed to regret it, leaning forward to drop his face between his knees. “Ugh, the Fairchild place was almost as bad as here. I’m surprised we survived the walk back down. If we didn’t have someone leading us out, we’d probably be swallowed up by the carpet! Sorry to say, but I think your whole town is fucked. Or any place owned by the weird old guy club, I guess.”

Martin grimaced. “I don’t get how Jon and Sasha seem so unbothered by it. If it were just me, I’d chalk it up to stress or something, but, well.”

Tim nodded in solemn understanding. “‘But, well’.’” He lifted his head and squinted in the sunlight. “It could be they’re faking it and I’m the only one willing to ‘fess up. If that’s the case, they’ve been really good at pretending their stomachs haven’t been dropping straight into the sea all weekend. But, between you and me, Jon can’t act for shit.”

Martin’s shoulders bobbed with silent laughter. “He seems very easy to read, yeah.”

“Oh yeah, I don’t think he’s ever successfully lied in his life, unless you count avoiding a subject altogether.” Tim smiled and leaned back against the railing, brushing a hand over his hair. “Glad you two are getting on, by the way. I’m sure Sasha already talked to you about it, but the turnaround really was impressive. I was concerned he’d just be pissy this whole week over some spilt tea.”

Martin buried the bottom of his face a degree further into his coat. “Please don’t remind me. Anyway, I’m sure having something weird to chase after helped. Means this place wasn’t a total waste of time for you.”

“Hey, it wasn’t gonna be a total waste. I can’t speak for him, but I for one love to make new connections.” He waggled his eyebrow, making Martin snort and turn a brighter shade of red. “Really, though, you’ve been a lot of help. If the walk home is that bad, you should just stay up where the sun actually hits for a while. None of us will mind if you hang around, and I need someone here to prove that my dizzy spells aren’t just me being ridiculous.”

Martin’s mouth sunk into a frown. “No, once they get back I’ll head home. Lunch won’t make itself.”

“What, don’t want to grab something with us nerds?” Tim asked, smiling broadly.

“N-No, I just, y’know, I bought groceries yesterday, and if I eat out too much, I’ll end up wasting some of it, and-” Martin searched for more excuses that wouldn’t bring his mother into the picture and failed.

Tim scrunched his eyebrows together in thought, then took out his phone and asked, “What’s your number?”

“What?”

“Your mobile? In case we need to reach you. And so I can send you dumb shit in my down time that I’ve already sent to Sasha.”

For a moment, Martin sat in stunned silence. “Um. Okay?” He said, his voice cracking in the most embarrassing way possible. Then, slowly, he took an old phone out of his coat pocket, technically a smart phone but just barely. They exchanged numbers, and Martin stared at the new contact before slipping the phone back into place.

“There, now you’re stuck with me. I’ll keep you updated if Sasha and Jon do in fact decide to do something stupid that gets us all disappeared. Speaking of,” Tim said, shading his eyes with a hand. “Here they come now, and Jon looks especially irritated.” They both stood up, grasping at the railing and sharing a weary look.

“Come on, guys,” Sasha yelled from the bottom of the steps. “Break time’s over.”

Back inside, the four of them sat around the table. From the looks on their faces, Jon and Sasha had been disappointed by their short venture. “So, how are you two doing?” Sasha asked. “How’s the nausea?

“Oh, just fine. We can almost get up without losing breakfast.” Tim said. “How was the place?”

Jon crossed his arms. “Unsurprisingly, Simon Fairchild sent us to an inaccessible piece of private property owned by the Lukas family. We couldn’t even get anyone to come to the door. For now, it may be a dead end.”

“I could try to get Peter to let us in?” Martin suggested with little enthusiasm.

Sasha looked at his obviously pained expression and shook her head. “No, bad idea. Simon was pretty clear on Peter not knowing we went to his home. I’d guess that extends to any of us going into this other place. If what you said happened back at the house is true, I don’t want that kind of risk. We’ll have to try it later and hope for an answer.”

Martin let out a relieved sigh and stood. “Good, good idea. I’ll be going then. I guess if you need me for… questions? Updates? Tim has my number.”

Sasha raised her eyebrows at Tim in amusement, while Jon rolled his eyes and scowled. With a lopsided smile, Tim shrugged and said, “What? The guy lives at the bottom of the world. We can’t drag him up and down that hill all day.”

Perhaps quicker than necessary, Martin excused himself and walked out of the building. The last bit of conversation he heard was Jon complaining about a lack of workplace professionalism, followed by Tim making a mocking comment that Martin couldn’t quite hear.

Once he had walked a little ways away, he relaxed. They really did balance each other out, the three of them. He could imagine Sasha breaking them apart in a little while, then getting them on task like before.

His hand brushed against the phone in his pocket, and he felt a little pang in his throat. He pushed the sensation down. Chances were, they wouldn’t need to call him, and it would be best to pay as little attention to his phone as he always had.

After the usual walk home, Martin approached his mother in front of the television. There was one of her Christian programs playing, the kind with the television preacher. “Hi, Mum.”

“You took much longer than usual,” she said stiffly. He could see her attempting to swallow and went toward the kitchen.

“Sorry, work ran long today. I’ll get lunch going.” He began to look through the fridge, considering his options.

“I’m not hungry. Just want a glass of water,” she said, her voice hoarse. Martin winced.

“One second.” He quickly filled a glass from the tap and brought it to her. “You will need to eat something to get your medication down. I’ll make something for both of us and we’ll see how you’re feeling then.”

She huffed in response, taking a sip of water and clearing her throat. Once food was ready, she did eat enough for her medication and then some, setting Martin at ease.

“It’s sunny today, if you’d like to sit out front,” he suggested after cleaning up the tray in front of her. She sniffed and otherwise stayed silent. “Okay… let me know if you change your mind. The fog even cleared out a bit-”

“I am not going outside today.”

“Okay.”

Martin left her alone and went back to the kitchen and set some chicken in the fridge to defrost. His future self would thank him later, he thought, and he went upstairs to figure out the rest of his Sunday.

The first order of business was to lay down and sleep for a while. Two busy mornings in a row and he was exhausted, the muscles in his legs finally catching up to all of the extra walking. As he lay down, he thanked his walls, bed, and windows for staying in place and gently drifted off to sleep.

Several hours later, Martin woke to find the sun had retreated back behind clouds and a familiar layer of fog. He reached for his phone on the bedside table to check the time. 4:30 pm. It was almost time to get dinner started, but before he could move to set the phone down, he saw there was text notification. Without his glasses, he had to squint and hold the phone close to his face. The brightness stung his eyes. The messages were from about fifteen minutes ago.

Tim: hey Tim: what do these weird knobs and buttons do anyway

Attached was a distorted photo, apparently of the upstairs console in the lighthouse.

“Shit,” Martin mumbled, tapping out an answer.

Martin: dont know, peter never told me. work the lighthouse i guess, make sure the big light is running. Martin: also what does all the static mean

Almost immediately, he got a response.

Tim: is that how lighthouses work? Tim: means its weird shit. weird shit hates digital

Martin: its the only lighthouse ive ever worked in, your guess is as good as mine Martin: oh good

No response came for a bit, and Martin took the pause to get out of bed. Halfway down the stairs, his phone buzzed.

Tim: update, stairs still bad Tim: arseholes who don’t get spooky vertigo club

Attached was another photo, still fuzzy, this time of Jon and Sasha walking ahead with Tim’s hand just barely in frame, clutching the rail. Jon was looking at the camera with a stern expression, his mouth open in the middle of saying something. Martin laughed quietly and continued walking.

In the time it took to prepare the chicken for baking, his phone vibrated in his pocket a few times. With his hands coated, there was no way to check until he slid the chicken into the oven twenty minutes later.

Tim: dont think anything stupid will happen tonight Tim: no one’s gotten too desperate yet but tomorrow is a new day Tim: will let you know if we end up getting arrested in the middle of the night for trespassing tho

Martin: haha, very funny

Tim: give it until tuesday

Martin’s eyebrow twitched, unsure of how seriously to respond.

Martin: please dont get me fired?

Tim: no promises! ;)

It felt like a lighthearted enough response to put Martin at ease. Tim liked joking. Martin knew that by now. If Tim was saying it, then it was a joke. Plus, it was clear Sasha and Jon were very by-the-books. If Jon would lecture Tim about texting, he certainly wasn’t the type to do anything illegal.

Still, the number of times Tim had joked about it made Martin irrationally nervous. That and Simon being cryptic and threatening. And the buildings trying to make him sick. And Jon-

Sliding his phone into his back pocket, Martin distracted himself with preparing the rest of their dinner. It wasn’t the time to spiral. He had chicken in the oven and vegetables to steam.

Dinner was made and eaten within the hour, and Martin’s phone stayed silent for the duration. When his mother asked to go outside after dinner, he did his best not to be outwardly irritated at her change of mind and did as she requested, covering his face to protect himself against the night wind.

It wasn’t until later when he had just about settled down for bed that Martin checked his phone, under the pretense that he was setting his alarm for the morning. There were no unread messages, so he set his phone down onto the side table to charge.

The fog rolled outside his window, illuminated by the weak light of the front porch. When sleep eventually took him, he dreamed of nothing.

When 6 am came, Martin found himself in an empty lighthouse. Under his arm was the expected box of documents he was to work with for the week, which he set on his desk. He then dragged his chair back over from the folding table, which was still littered with loose papers and three used mugs.

“Right, right. Library day. They could’ve at least remembered to clean up a bit.” Martin brought the dirty dishware to the kitchen and placed them in the sink to soak, then looked around for something clean to use for himself. He managed to find a kitschy one he’d always liked, with a tiny, smiling whale on the side.

“Looks like it’s just you and me.”

His voice echoed through the building, the final ‘me’ stretching on much too long.

Martin glared out into the main room. “Yeah, yeah, I’m alone, laugh it up.”

Again, the last ‘up’ lingered and drifted up the stairs, and he wanted to slap himself for walking right into that one. There was no point in talking back to a possibly haunted building.

He settled on silently making himself some tea, then dove into the week’s work. It was mind-numbing, as expected, but after a while it grew to be calming and familiar. The weird ache in his chest gave way to distraction, and hours ticked by without interruption. Martin began to feel normal, or his version of normal before things started to be poked and prodded. Before he knew it, he had eaten lunch and was on his way to the second half of his shift.

“...up.”

Martin jumped, almost knocking over his tea. That had been his voice. Just a single noise that hung in the air with no echo to be heard. No, he thought, no, no, no, he was not going to take any bait in this place. He righted himself in his chair and reached for the pen he had dropped.

“Me. Up.” Even with his original tone resting in those syllables, the new sense of urgency was unmistakable.

Against every part of his brain screaming at him, he took a step toward the stairs. Before he could go any further the front door swung open.

“Hey, Martin, we’re back,” Sasha said, carrying a file folder. “We- woah, are you okay?”

Martin stopped and stared at her, his jaw clenched to the point of pain. “Um. Define okay.”

The three researchers stopped and shared a concerned look. Sasha walked over to set her things on the table. “Okay, okay, clearly something happened.”

“What’s going on?” Jon asked, looking around warily.

Before Martin could open his mouth, his voice came from above. “Up.”

Everyone froze, holding their breath for a moment. Jon was first to break the silence, his voice filled with disdain. “Good. It can record us now.”

“Up. Now.”

“Oh, shut up.”

Tim gripped Jon’s shoulder and gestured insistently to the front door. They all vacated the building and stopped on the front steps, finally letting out a collective breath.

“Have you all, um, dealt with ghosts? Directly?” Martin sat on the bottom step, rubbing his hands over each other. “Ones that take the last word you said?”

“We don’t know if it’s a ghost, but no, not personally,” Jon replied, sitting a few steps up and typing on his laptop. “Can’t say I really believe in them, either.”

Tim snorted. “Yeah, sure, definitely not a ghost in there.”

“I’m inclined to suspect something more concrete. Somehow, the lighthouse was trapping the sound of our voices. According to Martin it only used the last words he uttered, and the same happened with me. With only a few things to work with, it wouldn’t be hard to-”

“To accidentally order us up the creepy staircase of the creepy lighthouse.” Tim stood, hands in his pockets.

“If it’s using ‘me’, ‘up’, and ‘now’, what else could it say? Otherwise, there was just ‘back’ and okay’ as far as I can tell.”

They continued to go back and forth, Jon being much more stubborn about the whole thing than Martin would’ve expected from a paranormal researcher. Maybe ghosts were an especially contended subject? It didn’t seem like it from Tim and Sasha’s reactions, but Martin was out of his depth. People turning into seals was a far cry from specters and mind-bending architecture.

Still, it being a ghost sounded right. There were meaning and intent behind the words repeated back to him, he was certain of it. If that was the case, maybe there was someone or something in this place trying to talk to him. That’s what ghosts did, right? Reach out to the living?

“Then we’ll just have Martin stay outside for a bit,” Jon said, closing his laptop decisively.

Martin found himself back in the conversation. “What?”

“We’re going to try the place Simon pointed us toward again. Hopefully, we’ll be let in this time and get some answers. The library didn’t have much in terms of useful information, I’m afraid.”

Sputtering, Martin replied, “So, what, I’m just going to wait out here? I still have work to do!”

Jon stared at him and sighed. “Bring it outside then. It shouldn’t rain today, and we don’t want to risk anything now that we know something is… active. You’re sure nothing like this has ever happened?”

“No, this is... new.”

“Then the safest thing is to avoid whatever is going on. It’s for your own well-being, and since we’re probably the cause of it, I don’t want to be in the business of putting people in danger.” Jon said. Martin was at a loss for arguments and nodded. “Good. If our luck hasn’t changed, we’ll be back soon. Otherwise, I suppose Tim will text you the good news.” There was a slight, acidic turn to Jon’s voice near the end that Martin couldn’t place.

Martin pushed himself onto his feet. “Okay… good luck? I guess? I’ll go get my work, then.”

Apparently satisfied, Jon placed his laptop into its case and motioned for the other two to follow him. As they left, Tim shot Martin a worried thumbs up.

When Martin walked back inside, he stopped halfway to the desk, eyes glued to the staircase. He had told Jon he would get his things and go outside.

“Hello?” Martin waited and got no response. “If you’re a ghost, now’s the time to say so.” Still nothing. He let out a noise of frustration. “Say something? Please?”

“Hello? Up. Please?”

Taking a glance back at his desk, Martin bit his tongue and internally berated himself. No use giving the place a name to call him. He really was an idiot, he thought, creeping up the staircase as if the ghost might hear his footfalls. Why had he taught it to be polite?

#tma #the magnus archives #breathe in the salt #martin blackwood #jonathan sims #sasha james #timothy stoker #peter lukas #jonmartin #au fanfic #selkie au #fanfic

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collective-laugh · 5 years

Text

Detective AU - Muriel x MC Chapter 6

Chapter One Chapter Two Chapter Three Chapter Four Chapter Five

Tag List: @a-zoidberg-aesthetic@lesbiancountess @fartkittyonline@yaysam@y-all-dnt-ve@countgoatman-and-drleechboy @julians-chest-hair@vesuviass @caterpiller-tea @saltywerewolfrebel@obsessedwiththearcana@thatsaltyseaman@xburningwitch @i-dont-speak-wolf@missrabbitart @softarcana @ethereal—pisces @cfluffiness @lhm-2001 @dr-devorak-will-seeyounow @meanderingpoint

Let me know if you want to be added to the tag list!

Summary: Muriel and the Detective grow closer, in spite of the awkward tension surrounding them.

Chapter 6: Brundle and Inanna

Muriel decides that a brandy, no matter how tempting, wasn’t really appropriate to be drinking at nine in the morning.

He wanted to. God, he really wanted a drink.

Inanna rolls over on the bed and yawns, glaring up at him for waking her. He tells her that he’s sorry, in spite of the fact that it was far past her due time to wake up. The brandy taunts him, and the headache that’s coming on is bound to be terrible, but he decides that he’s going to be a functioning member of society and drink coffee instead.

Coffee tastes like shit.

But, he figures it’s a decent substitute for the breakfast he should probably be eating right now, and it’s doing its job of waking him up.

He can’t stop thinking of her.

There’s a reason for it, he’s sure, and he supposes that’s where the need for a drink comes into play. He just...doesn’t want to think, and that’s harder than it ought to be.

“You wanna go for a walk?” He asks, and, in response, Inanna rolls away from him, barely balancing on the edge of the bed, “Okay, time to get up, you lazy bum.”

She yawns in defiance and nips at his wrist when he tries to clip her leash on, but in the end, he manages to get her to stand. She commits, begrudgingly, refusing to look him in the eye.

He decides that he should probably punt the walk when he hears the knock on the door.

Inanna trots back over the bed smugly, and he only rolls his eyes, knowing damn well that whenever he got rid of whoever this was, he’d take her out.

He probably shouldn’t be surprised to see her. He knows that Asra probably told her where he lives, and that he told her that if anything went wrong or if she needed anything, to go find him.

The initial shock wears off faster than anticipated, melting away into concern. Something had to’ve gone wrong, something had to warrant her visit and -

“Hi.” She smiles at him, but he’s known her long enough to know that she’s hiding something behind it, “Oh, um, Asra had your address written on a note in…” She pulls the note card from her handbag, “in a filing cabinet.” She smiles again, looking bashful.

He looks the card over, front and back, written in Asra’s messy scrawl, his name haphazardly scratched below the address.

He’s only a little angry at the moment that she didn’t have his address at hand, but he doesn’t want to make her think he’s angry at him, so he only hands the card back to her and asks, “Is everything alright?”

“I was going to call ahead.” She says, as if it was an explanation, “But I wasn’t sure if you’d be in, and...I suppose I should’ve checked, right?” She laughs awkwardly, wringing her hands together, and sighs, “I’ve an appointment with Consul Valerius this afternoon, and I was...hoping you’d come with me?”

“No.” He says before he has a chance to think about it.

A great big mansion with people looking at him, and some stuffy rich guy looking down at him? He wasn’t too keen on the idea, but it was bound to be inevitable if the guy called himself a ‘consul’.

“Oh! Okay, well...sorry for bothering you, and,” She bites the inside of her cheek, taking a step back.

“Wait.” He panics on the inside and sighs on the outside, “Do you want to come in for coffee?” He hopes she doesn’t notice how he tenses his jaw.

She does, but she smiles kindly anyway and nods, “Coffee sounds perfect.”

He pours her a cup, vaguely remembering how she takes it, and she smiles at him gratefully, looking around the small apartment he called his own. The bed was pushed against the far wall, next to the door to the bathroom. The far wall passed for a kitchen, and she assumed that his bed had to double as a sofa.

She was used to cramped spaces, but this one was Muriel’s. She didn’t want to disrespect.

He clears his throat and grabs his own mug from the end table and asks, “Why’re you going to Valerius’?”

“Nadia thinks he might know something.” She blows on the lukewarm coffee, “I called ahead, and I’m heading up around noon.” He opens his mouth to respond, probably something dumb about how she could’ve just called to invite him, but they already covered that. Inanna headbutts her, panting heavily, and she immediately gives her her undivided attention.

“Oh, hello!” She says in that annoying baby voice people use with animals, kneeling before her, “What’s your name?” She’s immediately petting her with her free hand, and Muriel swears that Inanna looks at him with the intensity of a thousand suns, taunting him.

“Inanna.” He answers after a moment too long, realizing that Inanna couldn’t really answer for herself. “Her name’s Inanna.”

She turns and smiles at him, and it makes his chest flutter, and he can’t really understand why, “It’s fitting.” Inanna licks at her cheek, the traitor dog holding Muriel’s eye the whole time.

He pauses a second, finishing the last of his coffee, trying to ignore the grounds at the bottom, and sighs, “I’ll come.”

She stands, confused, “You don’t have to.” Her first concern was his comfort. Of course it was. “I can handle myself, Muriel.” She smiles, taunting him, and it’s only a little bit endearing. It’s more annoying than anything, because he knows that she can handle herself.

“Doesn’t mean you should go alone.” He shrugs, and then repeats, “I’ll come.”

She smiles, and takes another sip of coffee before saying, “You know, it’s the strangest thing. Talking to you is just…” She shrugs, “familiar, I guess.” She wipes one of her hands on her skirt and continues before he can even sputter a response, “Did...did you want me to come back or…”

He shrugs, “There’s no point. You can stay.”

Muriel didn’t think inviting her to stay through.

He was so awkward, and he wished he could channel the doctor or Asra or someone with an ounce of charm, and wished he wasn’t always on the verge of saying something that was bound to give her a headache.

He didn’t want to hurt her anymore than he already did.

But the train ride downtown isn’t that bad, and she sits a little too close to him, asking about his dog, and other assorted politely intrusive questions. She seems happier today, like things are somehow easier, and he’s almost glad to see her smile like that.

“Do you like jokes?” She asks, taking his hand as she leads him from the train station to the street. Hand holding was necessary, he decides, so she wouldn’t lose him in the sea of people, but even when the crowd thins, she persists. He doesn’t do anything to change that, either.

He shrugs, liking the way her hand fit in his, “Asra likes to tell them.”

She smiles again, and starts, “Okay, so, a drunk and his dog stumble into a bar -.”

“Dr. Devorak and Brundle?”

She laughs aloud, catching herself and cutting it short, “You’re terrible! Dr. Devorak stumbles into a bar, his dog behind him, and Jules bets the bartender that Brundle can talk.”

“He would think so.”

She shushes him through her laughter, and he notices the way her smile reaches her eyes, how light she seems to be, “So the bartender agrees, and Jules asks Brundle what the top of a house is. Brundle responds with -.”

“Roof.” Muriel rolls his eyes.

“And then,” She turns, pausing for emphasis, “Jules asks what’s on the bottom of a horse’s foot, to which Brundle replies with ‘hoof’. Finally, the drunk asks him who the greatest baseball player is, and the dog says, ‘rrrrrrruth!’.” Muriel chuckles at her animated enthusiasm of the dog’s answer, and she continues, “The bartender kicks the both of them out, and the dog said to the drunk, ‘maybe I should’ve said DiMaggio’.”

Muriel coughs out a laugh, the joke so unfunny he couldn’t help himself, and he shakes his head, “That’s awful.”

She’s laughing just as much as he is, shaking her head and wiping at nonexistent tears, “I read it in the paper this morning.”

“Sounds like something Asra would send in.”

She barks out a laugh at that, covering her mouth with her free hand like he said something controversial, and looks at him like he’s the funniest thing, “Goodness,” She fans her face, still laughing, “I haven’t laughed like that in a while.” He tries not to think about how a terrible joke is the cause of that, and definitely not how that was the first time he remembered laughing in...forever. “I’m starved...you hungry, big guy?” She squeezes his finger, and he nods, like a man under a spell.

She pulls him into a small diner that she claims she’s never been to before, but must be trustworthy because, as she puts it, “there’s people brave enough to sit and eat.”

She buys him pancakes.

The stack of pancakes is placed before him, and he practically tears into them, seemingly unaware of just how hungry he had been. The sides of eggs and bacon are sure to follow, and he wouldn’t be surprised if she pushed part of her meal to his side of the table out of pity. She probably thought he couldn’t afford food, given his living conditions.

He knew she really couldn’t.

She purses her lips, running the tip of her finger over the rim of her cup, before asking, “What do you think about all this? Really, I mean?”

He’s chewing thoughtfully, holding a fork in one hand and a knife in the other before he shrugs, trying to swallow prematurely, “I dunno what happened to the Count. Not a tragedy that he’s gone.” He finally manages to swallow, feeling embarrassed that he spoke in the first place.

“You knew him?”

He shrugs again, cutting away at his stack of pancakes, “Worked for him awhile. Fighting rings.”

She sighs, looking at him like he’s the most pitiful thing on the planet, her hand inching across the table like she was considering taking his, before she folds her hands together, resting her chin on them, and deciding to grab her coffee all in the same millisecond.

It was nice knowing she was just as awkward as he was, at least.

“What’s the, uh,” He pauses, trying to save the conversation, “what’s the plan with Valerius?”

She widens her eyes and sighs, shifting in her seat, “Hell if I know. I’m just...hoping to pick up a lead, I guess?” She shrugs, poking at her food, “I don’t really know what I’m doing, if you haven’t been able to tell.”

Muriel has half a mind to smile, to tell her that no, she’s doing fine, but the words catch on his tongue when she takes a drink of coffee, and he just wants to be able to tell her that he doesn’t think she’s a failure.

Instead, she pushes her plate of eggs toward him.

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ditto · 4 years

Text

wi rehab week 3 review: the Week™. i KNOW this post is long but god please read about my misfortune if yall want a Saga

current status on raccoons: clement

number of monster energy drinks consumed: 2

number of buns directly killed: 1

Days Since Last Diarrhead on: 1

Baby Raccoon Count: 150ish? probably 130 that need to be bottle fed

new tasks performed:

baby opossum cage maintenance

baby waterfowl cage maintenance

SQ fluid administration on raccoons

SQ vaccine administration on raccoons

What To Do When Your Tire Goes Flat 101

oral medication administration on possums

CHRONOLOGICAL TALE OF MISFORTUNE: i’m not going to do this regularly but the sheer amount of bad shit that happened this week was COMICAL so let me break down everything that happened to me this work week

MONDAY 6/8

got diarrhead on during 6am raccoon feeding

straight up killed a baby rabbit during bun feeding. they stress real easily and i’m bad at tubing so i had him out for a while and he just fuckin. died. from stress. in my hands. directly because of me being bad at my job. so you know that was uhhhhhhhhhhhhh

shovelled out wet dirty woodchips out of a walk-in enclosure with like 8 goslings using a snowshovel w/ another baby intern. you can’t put a ton of woodchips into one trash bag so we had to keep changing out the trash bag and it was like 92 degrees out and we were both wearing cloth masks and on god i really thought we were gonna die in there

during the pm feeding i get peed on by the EXACT SAME RACCOON that diarrhead on me during the am feeding

TUESDAY 6/9: the Day(tm)

i have a therapy appointment scheduled at 2pm. my shift is 6am-2pm. i’ll need to leave at 1:30pm to get to it. i tell my supervisors this. it’s chill. i still feel bad about it, because i have anxiety.

right off the bat, i get scolded by my Actual Boss for doing something i watched one of the supervising interns do

6am raccoon feeding: get diarrhead on again.

a rac RIPS the fucking nipple off of the baby bottle we’re feeding them with and formula gets fucking everywhere. i say out loud at this moment “IM HAVING A GREAT WEEK”. one of my supervising interns feels bad for me and keeps trying to cheer me up throughout the day. she does make me feel better.

i get dishes which is fine bc i dont mind dishes for real but my hands turn into sandpaper the day after doing dishes for 2 hours so this is more :| than :/. i make jokes about how bad my week is going. the mood is, generally, looking up.

next raccoon feeding is scheduled for noon. raccoons are housed in a separate building, so it’s about a 5 minute drive to get there from the main area. we get ready to leave around 1pm. recap: i need to leave at 1:30pm for a therapy appointment. i’m planning on driving my own car down there so i can do this. it’s chill.

on my way down there, i start hearing the most godawful screeching of metal. i am, quote, “like uhhh.” when i open the gate to turn onto the highway, i stick my head out the window to look

my tire is flat.

i have a flat tire.

my fucking tire is FLAT dude.

>mfw

pull over after gate

tell the staff member following me “hey i have a flat tire so im probably not going to make it down to feed today” and shes like flkdjsalfksd okay

call the ONE supervising intern whose number i have, who is the one who heard me say IM HAVING A GREAT WEEK, like GUESS WHICH BITCH HAS A FLAT TIRE LMFAOOOOOOO. just making that one call was the funniest fucking thing that’s ever happened in my entire life

to quote her verbatim: “i guess you are having a bad week”

call my dad, who as it turns out was actively teaching a class when i called, so i am well and truly facked and am DEFINITELY not making this therapy appointment

ok. take a deep breath. check my car. i have a donut in my car. i have not changed a tire in three years, and have never changed one in the scenario of I Have A Flat Tire. fack. relay this to the one supervising intern whos number i know (i’m going to call her supervising intern 1 going forward here). ask her if anyone knows how to change a tire.

supervising intern 1 calls back. apparently there’s a guy who lives on the same property we’re on named donnie. donnie is a maintenance worker who helps out a lot around the rehab place. donnie can help me change my tire. apparently someone currently down feeding raccoons is going to come pick me up and bring me over there so i can continue to feed raccoons until donnie can fix my tire.

get call from supervising intern 2, whose number i did not have, apparently it got relayed. i ask her if anyone down there can change a tire. she says she can change a tire. she will help me change my tire she finishes on raccoon feeding. ok sounds good. someone is still going to come pick me up.

get call back 10 minutes later. apparently donnie is in the middle of a field right now and it is unlikely that he can fix my tire. someone is still going to come get me to feed raccoons, maybe. i tell her supervising intern 2 can help me change my tire after we finish our shift. she says thats fine. ok cool sick.

try to call therapist. i have no signal. send email which is, verbatim: “Hey! I'm currently on the the side of of the the road in [TOWN 30 MILES AWAY] with a flat tire, so I'm not going to make our appointment today. If we could reschedule for sometime soon, that would be great.” signal is bad, so this ends up being sent at 3pm.

(ALSO I LEARNED ABOUT THIS TODAY BUT APPARENTLY IN THE TIMELINE THERE’S A FIGHT HERE BETWEEN SUPERVISING INTERNS 1 AND 2 OVER HOW THE SITUATION IS PLAYING OUT WHICH IS EQUAL PARTS HILARIOUS AND “MAKES ME FEEL BAD”)

one of the other baby interns comes to pick me up and bring me down to racs. i walk in like AYYYYYYY and start feeding raccoons.

i get diarrhead on again.

i get diarrhead on again again.

apparently 3 in one day is a record.

my shift is supposed to end at 2pm. we usually end up staying until 2:15-2:30ish, because that’s usually when the other team gets down here. since supervising intern 2 is currently my savior, she is going to drive me back over when the other team gets here and she leaves. other baby interns leave at 2:15ish, i think.

the other team is, apparently, running late. they get here at 3pm.

supervising intern 2 drives me back over at 3pm. we get to my car.

the donut is on.

the tire is in the trunk.

apparently donnie was, in fact, able to come change my tire. no one told me this.

im like ok. this is fine. i tell supervising intern 2 thank u for my life. i leave.

my donut has a 50mph max speed limit. i tell google maps to avoid highways on my way home. this turns my 30 minute drive home into a 50 minute one, and still ends up with me being terrifyingly tailgated by trucks for going 10 miles under the speed limit. i almost, but do not, run out of gas on the way home.

i get home around 4:10pm. i call the auto shop across the street from me and tell them i have a flat tire, but i need the car by 6am tomorrow. do they think they can have it fixed by then. they tell me to bring it over and they’ll let me know.

i bring the car over. i give them my keys. i say thank you and leave.

i realize that my garage door opener is in my car, which is now locked. i have no other way into the house, because our garage door keypad has been broken for 2 years. the sliding glass door in the backyard is locked.

i walk back into the auto shop 5 minutes later and ask in the Polite But Obviously Having A Day tone if i can have my keys back so i can get it. i get my garage door opener out of my car. i give the keys back.

i enter my home. i lay spread-eagled on my bed for one hour.

auto place calls back and tells me they fixed the tire. im like did you replace it or did u fix it. theyre like we fixed it come on over. i almost cry on the phone.

go back over. guy is like “ya u ran over a screw LOL”. gives me my keys back. i wait to pay

after a bit hes like “you dont have to pay anything. this is on the house.”

almost cry

thank him

get car

go home

eat

shower

go to bed at 8pm

WEDNESDAY (6/10)

everyone at work is immediately like AYYY and in general just very nice about the whole thing. i thank everyone involved for helping. its chill

dont get diarrhead on this feeding but i do get bit for like NO got dam reason what the fack

next up is cleaning juvenile cages and i swear to god i get the nastiest. fucking. raccoon cage i have ever seen in my entire life. there was an...i wanna say eigth-of-an-inch thick layer of raccoon diarrhea across this 2 foot x 4 foot cage

like on GOD the smell was so bad i was gagging through a goddamn cloth mask just. oh my god. i had to just go stand outside and stare into the abyss afterwards for a few minutes it was so NASTY IT WAS SO NASTY

mercifully, i am spared from further misfortune for the rest of the day. i come home. i am so tired.

WAIT I HAVE TO MENTION THAT SUPERVISING INTERN 1 HAD SUCH BAD LUCK FEEDING RABBITS TODAY SO LIKE...my luck is contagious

notes and observations

anyone who is anti-euthanasia in animal shelters and any other large-scale animal welfare places in general can absolutely suck my dick

most other baby animals will generally have various stages of “baby x”, but opossums look like Adults Except Tiny from a very early age. they have stolen my heart.

birds are poopy little creatures

#summer2020 #1.7k words #animal death #unsanitary

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its-3am-sadness · 4 years

Text

getting lost up in the past— this is what I found

Friday February 1st, 2013:

ugh..im sitting in third hour..i wanna cry, but i cant theres to many people..

can anyone really save me? ..no.. noone ever can.. i just wanna be happy, truely always happy.. )': ughhhhhhhhhhhh! i gotta go..

Monday February 4th, 2013:

holy shit that was a longg weekend.. i almost cut saturday.. i got a new razor & everythingg.. Jake told me to go chuck itt in the snow, soo i did, but then on sunday i went & found itt.. soo i have itt in my ipod case like my other one.

I stayed up till 3 saturday nightt watching 'Enchanted' i love that movie now (: and i sent Jake a 7 and a 9 page text.. he was asleep though..but his best friend is a girl & i have nothing at all against that, i don't have a reason to hate her at all, i havent even met her, but i still am so super jealous.. i hate that they hang out and slepover together and i dont know, i trust him.. but look what happend with the last guy, i trusted him with all my heart, i never thought he would cheat on me and he ended up fucking his ex-girlfriend and lying about it.. im so scared.. i dont wanna be here.. i was thinking saturday & yesterday how i wish i was single just so i don't have to be so paranoid..but i love being around Jake that i wouldnt dream of ending it..

Shawntay said i should tell him about how i feel with him & his besty, but i idont wanna be the dumb bitchy girlfriend who is all 'you cant talk to girls-blahh blahh blahhk' shitt, ya know?? So ima just leave it to myself because i don't care..

im really trying not to cut.. Tabby (my ex's girlfriend) told me that it takes 21 days to break a habbit & we both last cut on the 22nd, soooo we'll see how that goes..

on wednesday it'll be me & jake's 4 months.. & next thursday is valenitines (how ever you spell itt) day and i wanna get him something.. hmm..

my tits now have names.. right one is Adam & the left is Ryder (:

I love him, my baby. <3 soo much.. </3

Wednesday February 6th, 2013:

today is 4 months with my baby!! i love him sooo much. dude. <3 he is so amazingg. i just want to push him in the snow and kiss him and be crazy. i am crazy about him.. like super crazy aboutt him. <3 i dont wantt him to be taken awayyy! ):

Hunter said he was going to ask me out last week on friday on the bus.. god he's a douche.. he broke my heart so many countless times and just left.. and my ex. my good lord, he is such a dick. im sick of them both fucking with my head and heart. ive moved on and it Shawntay's words 'have a new life with a better guy'.. god i love her. i dont know where i would be right now if it werent for her.. <3 i love you shawny'z forever <3

Friday February 8th, 2013:

well..i almost cut last nightt, i didnt but i was aboutt to.. im not taking my meds, im just throwing them in a bag & ima sell them.. they weren't working anyway soo..

Im seriously so sccared that Jake's going to leave me.. even though he says he's not going to an yada yada yada, but still.. im paranoid.. it's just who i am... i love him with all my heart though.. ya know??

im diguesting..im a whore..a damn slut.. in love with a guy who prolly cant stand me.. im fucking pathetic.. why..why..why would, HOW could anyone like me, or put up with me.. i mean, what the hell..im a little ugly bitch. a fat, pathetic, stupid, idiotic, loud, sluty little damn bitch...fuckkkkkkkk.