#listen to my mom instead 🙂

[martian-astro]

Solar return observations- Part 2

The year in which you have aquarius AC, you will focus more on yourself, if you've been hanging out with "friends" who don't make you feel happy, this is the year when you'll get the courage to leave them.

I have noticed that a lot of people in their last year of college have capricorn in 11th. This basically means that you prefer hanging out with people whose professional goals align with yours and who you think can help in advancing your career. (you may also feel very lonely)

Everyone knows that a stellium in 1st house indicates an increased self worth but I have seen that a 2nd house stellium also has the same effect. (we were going through some financial difficulties last year, and this year my mom has a 2nd house stellium and basically all our issues got resolved and she went to this meditation and yoga centre, she has been taking really good care of herself and she looks so happy 🥺, she's literally glowing)

I have Mars in 12th this year.... And God, it is so difficult to control your anger but with this you HAVE to suppress your anger. Even if you express your emotions, nobody's gonna listen to you. (it's like when you know that someone is a bad person but everybody else loves them so you have to pretend that you like them too)

If you are someone who keeps their feelings to themselves, the year when you have your moon in pisces can be a great year for you. You're gonna be a waterfall this year, and I don't think that it's a bad thing, sometimes, you just need to let it all out. (emotions occupy space in your body, so just cry and yell)

Last year, I had pluto in 2nd house and it was the year when I started earning money ALL ON MY OWN (and also the year when I realised that break up is not the most painful thing, it's the drdrdrdrdr sound that the atm makes when you take out money, THAT SHIT HURTS)

If you have neptune conjunct Venus in 7th in libra - that guy is not good, he's love bombing you, RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN

On the other hand, The year when you have moon in capricorn in 7th, is the year when you'll realise that it's much more important to be with a guy who takes care of you when you're sick and does household chores and is clean and hygienic instead of being with a guy who wants to fuck you 24/7 (btw, it's possible to be with a guy who's both, it's just very rare)

When I was preparing for this post, I noticed that a lot of people had their first kiss when their asteroid kiss was conjuncting Mars/Venus. I guess it makes sense, but I'm not really sure. (take it as you like) kiss asteroid number = 8267

The year that my sister started her master's she had a virgo AC with a 9th house chiron and.... This girl was so exhausted that she did not even have the time to talk to me, we literally talked on her birthday, the next year 🙂. That's how busy she was. My advice to you is to eat as healthy as you can, the probability of you getting sick is high so take care of yourself. (especially if you have pluto in 6th house)

(all pictures are taken from Pinterest)

© martian-astro All rights reserved, 2024

#astrology content #astrology #astroblr #astrology community #solar return observations #solar return chart #solar return #astrology observations

[trynafindbarbiee]

VOID SUCCESS STORY <3

TW : Abusive family, bullying, suicide attempts!

Before I go straight into my success story I wanna THANKYOU from the bottom of my heart you are my fairy Angel and I love you more than anyone else bestiee :)

I'm sharing this here so everyone can see this

It's been so long since I've joined loa community but I always failed to manifest Consciously , I would constantly look for the 3D to change and I literally wasted years to learn how to manifest when it's the most easiest thing in the whole universe. Then luckly I came to know about the void state but I kept on failing I was unhealthy obsessed with the void with this my mental health became even worse I started to feel like not living anymore. I felt anxious very often, then one day I decided to end my life because things were getting terrible everyday. I attempted suicide and it failed and then the very first thing someone told me after this was "it failed because you deserve to live, you deserves the best, you deserves the world" And guess who it was! SHE WAS MY FAIRY ANGEL 🥺 YOU! MY BESTIEE <3 I'm very thankful to have a friend like you

What I've learnt over time is that these feelings are definitely not permanent and this too shall pass YES it hurts and survival feels difficult but the hope I got from my bestie (Barbie) throughout my recovery process is just unmatched, unexplainable especially for someone like me who keeps thinking that things will never get better. At the same time I was living in a abusive household I was being hated by my parents, friends, neighbours And one day IT'S nowhere near as bad as what you'll get, but my mom had a small amount of narcissist in her. SHE HELD MY HAND OVER A GAS STOVE because as an 15 year old I wrote something that she disagreed with in my journal. I experienced violence with my mother and father beating each other. Seeing drugs being used and knowing that there was something bad and wrong. I also seen my mother having sex with other men and once heard her having sex and I thought she was being beaten.As I got older, I began questioning her medieval methods. Whenever I brought it up, She would always say that she did it for my own good, or that she was showing me how the real world was like. As a baby, I was ferberized. I was sent to a daycare from the moment I could walk. My mother would often punch and slap me in the face, and so I developed a reflex where I put my hands near my head in defense if anyone raises their hands. I have been bullied and ridiculed.

I have overconsumed info to a point where I even started doubting bloggers and loa but then I met my fairy Angel, my life, my bestieeeee 🥺💗 Everyone, let me tell you all of you one thing that she's a real life Angel I swear! She was there with me when my own family was against me, she helped me through my toughest times, she never let me down, she took care of me like a big sister. I'M BLESSED TO HAVE A FREIND LIKE YOU CUTIE PIE <3! we started journey together and she entered the void but I was still struggling. When she messaged me telling that she did it I literally jumped out of my bed and cried, cried and cried I WAS SO HAPPY FOR HER. I got superrrr motivated after that so I took her advice and tried to enter the void once more but I still failed, I didn't enterbut she kept me motivated . She showed me the things and her mansion that she manifested so that I don't doubt void anymore and I'm so grateful to you for that . She told me to try to wake up in the void instead of entering I again listened her and tried and guess what! SHAMEFULLY I again failed , I was giving my power to a method, I didn't realize how powerful I AM.

After all the failed attempts I called Barbie and talked to her for 4 hours straight I told her all the things that were going on in my life and I cried a lot and even Barbie got emotional too and she cried for me I can't forget that day ever 🙂 she told me "Don't worry honey! It's never too late, I'll enter void for you and after that you will be free of all this bullshit" THIS MADE ME SO HAPPY LIKE I WAS NOT EXPECTING THISSSSSSS :) she already did so much for me and still she wanted to help me out, this is why I call you my Fairy Angel <3

And next day she did enter for me and affirmed that I'll wake up in the void but in the morning nothing happened I realized that I didn't woke up there I GOT SO DISCOURAGED and I told this to her and she said that I have to assume that I'll wake up in the void unless it will not work 🙁 I literally Slapped myself for doing such a stupid thing Not assuming that I'll wake up in the void :( But she again entered for me and again affirmed for me Like? How can someone be so nice?

AND THAT NIGHT I DID WOKE UP IN THE VOID 😩💗 I felt so relaxed there, I was in a whole dark space I manifested everything that I wrote in my journal , I was beyond happy that morning when I woke up in my dream apartment the first thing I did after seeing myself in my dream house was that I messaged barbie that WE DID IT 🥺 !!

Y'all are very lucky to have my bestie here , I love you honey, ily so much <3 God literally sent you for me

Sending you so much love, hugs and wet kisses 🤭

~ your beloved 🎀

The most beautiful SUCCESS STORY I ever saw !

Thankyou bub for sharing your story here too ♡

My eyes got wet while I was reading this :) like you are so sweet and strong! ily too and I always will and no need to thank me..Your life was exactly like mine bef I entered the void , I also experienced all this bullshit so I could understand your situation that's why I helped you so, no need to thank me 💗 You should thank yourself bc everytime u felt like ending ur life , everytime u felt like giving up YOU made it through... so thank youself honey ! <3 I'M SO PROUD YOU MAHH BESTIEEE

You also played a vital role in my journey !

I've been through a lot. I have been through things that I didn't even told u . I have been through things that I haven't told anyone . Because of the things that I've been through, I used have an EXTREMELY hard time trusting people. I used to overthink abt how to talk to you and share my feelings without making you feel bad or you thinking I'm dramatic. I don't know how to talk to you without it being awkward but not only u listened me but motivated me also even when u r going through the toughest time in ur life.... Yes I have so many friends But you r someone special , I love you differently than I love my any other friend. Yes we've been through hell. And it's been insane. But still we are together! ily ♡

Idk how do I put my happiness into words :) I'M JUST SO PROUD OF YOU

Enjoy ur life to the max <3

#void state #void success #void state success story

[halliestinks]

Hi, i was wondering if you could do some wholesome headcannons for Y/N (who acts like Douchebag in the sot game) Thats like a sister to Cartman. His mother adores her and he likes to bully her. But when others do it hes like "No only i can >:/"

Cartman w/ reader who’s like a sister to him

a/n: this is an old request that’s been sitting in my inbox for over 2 yrs, decided to write it as my first request since i’ve returned :3

• oh boy, cartman as a brother figure could be both great and awful.

• having first met you he would notice how quiet and chill you are, trying to get you to crack on many different occasions (failing miserably everytime). he never really cared too much about you. however once you started to spend more time with him and you found yourself at his house quite often, you developed an unexpected sibling bond with him

• he would definitely take advantage of your silence whenever he asks for a favour, immediately roping you into any and all of his problems. (kind of like butters— however he doesn’t screw you over as much)

• the teasing is the worst part. he knows exactly what ticks you off and how to break your silent facade

“HAHAHA YOU SHOULD SEE YOUR FACE!!”

“… 🙂”

• he knows when to stop though

• he unfortunately learnt his lesson after you beat the crap out of him for pushing you way past your limit!! (i just love sibling bonding experiences)

• aside from all of that… cartman is actually really fun to be around when he’s not being an asshole. the two of you usually spend your time together playing video games and doing random shit outside in the snow

• his mom absolutely adores you!!! she would constantly ask cartman if you would be coming over to their place later, always making sure to cook extra for dinner just in case

• cartman definitely gets jealous over his mom pampering you, thinks that she should pay more attention to her real son. and to piss him off even more, his mom always makes sure he shares everything with you

“but myeeeem… those are my cheesy poofs 🤬”

“😈😈”

• cartman’s mom is completely oblivious to any of the sibling rivalry, instead tells cartman he just needs to learn to share

• both of you have a silent agreement to always stick up for each other if either of you are being bullied, (not that cartman really needs help)

• i don’t think cartman would straight up defend you, however he would take your side in more subtle ways

“come on guys, let’s cut y/n some slack… otherwise she’ll get all depressed and probably start crying..”

“😐”

• but if anyone ever hurt you physically or did bully you to the point of actually hurting you, cartman will find out and go on a tangent about how he’s the only person who’s allowed to do that. plus if he’s in a bad mood then he’d probably figure out a way to ruin their life

• anyways.. at the end of most days, you find yourself sleeping on the floor in cartman’s room (he kicks you off his bed) and the two of you stay up late having silly conversations— finding yourselves laughing so hard to the point of tears

• until his mom comes in and tells you to go to bed because it’s a school night 🙄

• the two of you never listen, secretly doing an all nighter then feeling like absolute crap the next day. (it’s just a nightly tradition at this point)

• a lot of kids at school mistake you two for actually being related, which never fails to make you smile

• maybe he isn’t such a bad non biological brother after all

#south park x reader #sp x reader #eric cartman #cartman x reader #eric cartman x reader #platonic #sibling trope #south park #south park headcanons #s

[smilesatdawnmain]

Mom: You should sign up for colleges before the end of the school year and make a plan

Me: But but- LMK AU‘s 👉👈

Sooooooooo

I might procrastinate and look at LMK AU‘s and fanfics (Love taken and your other works so much) instead of deciding what to do with my life 🙂 I don’t want to decide and plan this stuff. I want to keep on laying in bed and reading LMK related things 🥺

Ahhhh oh my gosh I feel this so strongly! ! XD

Having to just decide your life right there and then is so hard to do. But listen, there is no rush to do anything. No one should just rush into a plan because others around them are. Same for college. You shouldn't go to college unless it is something you wish to do- not because your parents or friends say so. Not that college is a bad path, but it's a lot of money if you don't fully know what you want to do. There is nothing wrong with taking it one step at a time at your own pace :D :D But thank you!! Oh my gosh I'm glad you like my writing and works! It just makes me so happy!

#answer #life is hard

[catindabag]

TBOSAS on Crack short take (15)

*The time when the 24 OG Mentors played the “Bring something forbidden to school” game*

Festus: As your ✨Class Representative✨ and the best player of this game, please present your “Forbidden Goods” to the class!

Palmyra: *Raises her hand* Let me start, Fest! You guys will like this! I swear!

Festus: Fire away, Palm!☺️

Palmyra: *pulls out an expired bottle of Nutella* I brought my mother’s secret stash of chocolate spread!

Lysistrata: Is it safe to consume?

Palmyra: Yup! I even saw her eating it yesterday!

Lysistrata: Fascinating! Let me see! *grabs the bottle* It says here that this product was made in 2012.

Festus: 2012?! That was centuries ago!

Clemensia: WTH, Palm! That’s basically poison!😱

Gaius: Does your mother secretly have a death wish?!

Palmyra: Who wants to go next?🙂

Pup: Me! *pulls out a bloody sword* I present you my great great grandfather’s saber!

Juno: Why is there fresh blood on that thing, Pup?!

Apollo: *suddenly licks the sword* Calm down. It’s just ketchup.

Pup: It’s not ketchup.

Diana: Ew! Why did you lick that, bro?! I’m telling mom!

Clemensia: I’m next! *Pulls out the last copy of the 2004 movie: White Chicks* I present you my father’s favorite banned movie!

Livia: Clemmie, you witch! How did YOU get that?!

Sejanus: That was banned ages ago!

Arachne: I’m so jealous!

Coryo: Now that’s really illegal!

Juno: Felix Ravinstill, you better not tell your granduncle about this!

Felix: But-

Juno: Don’t you dare tell the President!

Felix: Why not? My crazy granduncle likes White Chicks.

Coryo: Then why did our government banned it?

Felix: Because it featured Vanessa Carlton’s iconic ✨A Thousand Miles✨ song.

Coryo: And that song is illegal?

Felix: To be fair, any song that’s not praising Panem or the Capitol is automatically banned in my crazy family’s book.😞

Coryo: That’s rough, buddy.

Felix: But who cares! I still secretly love to watch White Chicks with my crazy granduncle.

Juno: Good. Because we are all gonna watch it later!🥳

Lysistrata: Me next! *pulls out 24 illegally manufactured morphling bottles* I stole these.🤫

Persephone: Bestie, you brought drugs?!

Coryo: Again. She brought drugs again.

Lysistrata: Yeah. My parents are doctors. I can get away with these.

Androcles: You better hide that from “You-Know-Who” or he’ll hunt you down and strangle you.

Lysistrata: Noted!😉 Coryo, you’re next!

Coryo: Ok. Don’t laugh. I traded 5 cabbages for these years ago.

Domitia: Just show it already!

Coryo: *Pulls out two very famous banned music albums from the 2020s* I present you the last copy of Taylor Swift’s Midnights Album!

Hilarius: What’s the other one?

Coryo: 1989.

Hilarius: Taylor’s Version?

Coryo: Taylor’s Version.

Hilarius: *starts screaming like a crazy fangirl* Coryo Snow, I love you!

Sejanus: Back off, Hilari! Coryo’s mine!

Vipsania: Where the heck did you get those, Snow?!

Felix: You beautiful gorgeous man, give those albums to me!

Festus: Coryo, my bro, I’ll feed you forever if you give them to me instead!

Io: Coryo, I’ll pay you two more cabbages!

Livia: You lying thief! Where did you steal those treasures?!

Coryo: Black Market.

Dennis: I knew it! I knew my mama really does sell banned music albums for cabbages!

Hilarius: Yo, guys, you don’t have to fight. I brought a banned compatible CD player for this game. So let’s just listen to the songs together.

Coryo: Fine. Let’s listen to my favorite song first.

Sejanus: Snow on the Beach!

Felix: Can I be Lana Del Rey?🥺

Coryo: Sure. Whatever you want, Class Pres. *clicks the play button* Here we go.

Felix: Yey!

Everyone: *skips to the chorus, and sings like no tomorrow* 🎶And it's like SNOW at the beach, Weird but f*ckin' beautiful, Flying in a dream, stars by the pocketful-🎶

Sejanus: Wait! Stop! I haven’t shown mine yet!

Florus: Fine! The stage is yours, Plinth. *clicks to pause*

Sejanus: *pulls out a whole ass body bag from the corner and opens it* This is Marcus! My classmate and friend from District 2!

Livia: What the actual fu-

Sejanus: Say hello, Marcus!☺️

Marcus: *bored AF* Hi, I’m Marcus.

Festus: You freaking brought your Tribute to school?!

Sejanus: To be fair, you said something forbidden.

Domitia: SOME. THING. Not Someone!

Coryo: Not again!

Urban: We’re all getting a demerit from Sejanus Plinth’s stunt!😫

Iphigenia: Or expelled!😭

Arachne: You idiot Plinth!😡🔪

Marcus: Where’s the food?

Livia: *faints from the shock*

Everyone:. . .

Marcus:. . .

Coryo: So should we continue?

Dennis: Yeah. Sure. Why not.

Coryo: Festus, play the song!

Festus: Got it! *clicks to play*

Everyone+Marcus: *nervously starts singing again* 🎶You wanting me tonight feels impossible, But it's comin' down, no sound, it's all around, Like ✨SNOW✨ on the beach, Like ✨SNOW✨ on the beach, Like ✨SNOW✨ on the beach, Like ✨SNOW✨, oh, oh oh🎶

*Drunk!Casca Highbottom lurking in the shadows (again)*

Drunk!Casca: *Sees Marcus inside the classroom* I swear, Sickle! I swear that there were only 24 Mentors in that room! Not 25!

Prof.Sickle: 24 again. Livia Cardew just fainted.

#tbosas #crack #crack post #crackship #coriolanus snow #president snow #sejanus plinth #lucy gray baird #festus creed #marcus #lysistrata vickers #felix ravinstill #clemensia dovecote #livia cardew #hilarius heavensbee #the ballad of songbirds and snakes #ballad of songbirds and snakes #the hunger games #suzanne collins #thg fic #thg incorrect quotes #tbosas incorrect quotes #tbosas fic #snowjanus #snowplinth #coriolanus x sejanus #snow on the beach #taylor swift #midnights #alternative universe

[crestfallenna]

If you want to talk about something I can listen 🙂

I hope you're doing OK when you see this

TW: SA, SH, ED

My dad used to SA me when I was in middle school. The memories are all so crystal clear but sometimes I question them, did it ever happen though I know it very well did. He apologized to me after a few months, did it again, and finally stopped. I have this feeling that I am not affected by this childhood trauma, but then how do I explain not being able to look anyone in the eyes, short breaths even though I am just walking in the classroom, having no friends, low-self esteem even though I was the best player in my school sport and I was one of the subject toppers. I can only hold onto this evidence of being a nice kid because I don't feel like it. I think the SA was not that big of a deal (I know it is). But it completely changed me, I started listening to songs from the family trauma playlist, I used to draw on my thighs with red, I became a psychology nerd, and the lockdown did not help. My dad is definitely a narcissist(If he isn't, he still makes me feel like that because of his behavior). My mom isn't that great, instead of helping me and my brother out she only cares about herself. She gets jealous (I know) when I don't eat junk food. She acts like she has bipolar/bpd disorder. I am just scared and confused. The WORST think is that my acadmics are getting affected. Its my fault, not theirs, its my fault that i allow there daily verbal and emotional abuse

get to me each time. I have this crazy thought in my head...that something is wrong with me, everyone says that my dad is such a great person and I am lucky kid.

Thankyou very much, its the first time someone asked me this.

#anoresick #light as a feather #st4rv1ng #tw thinspi #i want to ⭐ve #i need to lose so much weight #bonespø #i need to lose this weight #thin legs #i need to be weightless #family issues #family dynamics #family trauma

[midwestmade29]

Blended 💜

Requested by: @1dluver13xx 🥰 (Thanks for being so patient with me while I catch up on everything! I truly appreciate you!) Original request: I was thinking about Christian (being the Single Dad he is) dating a younger Single mom and them essentially taking on the tasks of blending their family together and taking on the parenting roles for both the kids?

Disclaimers: None 🙂

Word Count: 904

Divider by: @saradika-graphics

This is a stand alone story. There will not be a continuation or anything else written about it. (NO part 2s...looking at YOU @madhatterbri 😂)

Being a blended family isn't always easy, but somehow you and Christian make it work...

Being in the dating world as a single parent is hard. You’re not only looking for someone for yourself, but also someone who is a good fit for your kid too. There’s been a lot of awkward dates, bad matches, and guys who check out immediately once you tell them you have a kid. There have been a few suitors along the way too, but sadly things eventually fizzled out with them. You were starting to think you’re better off alone and considered giving up on dating until Christian came along! It felt as if the stars were finally aligned when a mutual friend introduced you to each other. Even though there’s an age gap between the two of you, it was never an issue. You and Christian had many things in common, the biggest being you both have young daughters! It was nice finally having someone who understood what it’s like being a single parent and all the joy and difficulties it can bring.  It didn’t take long for you and Christian to fall in love! Everything clicked and felt so right. You took the time to get to know each other first before introducing your daughters to each other, and thankfully they hit it off right away too! When you and your daughter moved in with Christian, it was a big adjustment for everyone at first. Isla had to share her room, you had to find your way around a new city, your daughter had to adapt to a new school, and Christian had to get used to living in a house full of girls!

You and Christian were a tag team as you tackled parenting your two girls. When he was home and not on the road with AEW he tried to help in any way he could. Some nights he took over homework duty while you fixed dinner. Some days he was the one picking the girls up from school and getting them to their various activities. If Christian was traveling, you were in charge of looking after both girls! Thankfully Isla and you had built a strong relationship which made the times you had to provide discipline a little easier. There were times where both of your daughters would argue and not get along, moments where no one seemed to listen to each other, stretches of time where emotions ran high and feelings were hurt.

Christian was usually the softie when it came to both girls! He enjoyed spoiling them and had a harder time telling them “No” than you did. “Daddy, can we get ice cream after dinner?” Isla asked with puppy dog eyes. The original plan after dinner was to do homework and have some quiet time since it had been a hectic week, but when Christian gave you the same puppy dog eyes Isla had given him, you caved. On a different night before bed, you caught Christian and the 2 girls practicing wrestling moves on each other instead of brushing teeth and getting in their pajamas! In typical dad fashion, he was getting the girls fired up right at bedtime instead of keeping things calm and quiet. You couldn’t be mad though when you heard all the laughter from down the hallway. You leaned up against the doorway to the girl’s room smiling as you watched Christian get double teamed. When your daughter went to pin him, you ran into the room and acted as the referee and gave the final 3 count, signaling the victory in her and Isla’s favor! “Hey! That’s not fair, this was a handicap match! You’re supposed to be my tag partner, not the ref!” Christian cried out. “I demand a rematch!”

“Why don’t you go and get your nails done and get some coffee?” Christian suggested. He knew that it had been a crazy week for you and the girls while he was gone. “Go and enjoy some you time, baby. I’ll hold down the fort here. You’re officially off duty for the rest of the day!”

When you returned home, you felt a little less stressed and refreshed. Whatever Christian had fixed for dinner smelled delicious and much to your delight, the laundry basket full of clean clothes had been put away! The girls were getting along and playing together, and you had a glass of wine waiting for you along with a warm embrace from your man.

Most of the day was spent packing 4 suitcases in preparation for the early morning flight that awaited you and your little family. Both girls were excited to see Christian perform live instead of through a tv screen, and you were equally as excited! As you laid next to Christian in bed, you were going over a mental checklist of things that still needed thrown in the suitcases while he watched highlights of a hockey game on tv. He could tell your brain was in overdrive, so he pulled you closer to him and wrapped you in his arms. “I appreciate you going above and beyond for the 3 of us. I know this trip will be a busy one, but I’m glad my girls will be there with me! Now, let’s turn off the tv and that brain of yours and get some sleep. I love you baby.” Not long after, you drifted off to sleep in Christian’s arms, dreaming peaceful and happy dreams of your 3 favorite people.

#christian cage #jay reso #captain charisma #instant classic #christian4peeps #aew #all elite wrestling #fanfiction #fanfic #christian cage fanfic #aew fanfiction #christian cage fanfiction #christian cage fluff #fluff

[sebstanismyspiritanimal]

Third chapter! I didn't think so many people would like this concept! I thought it was a really niche au that only I wanted to read but y'all are changing my mind! I will probably start posting to ao3 once I hit 5 chapters, because I'm anticipating a fairly long story. Would you guys want me to keep posting the whole chapter here too or just a link for the new chapters for ao3? Let me know! As always if you missed part 2 here is a link for it!

The next couple of days saw Eddie relaxing into a routine at the bureau. There hadn't been a new case yet so Emily and JJ had taken to showing her the different paperwork forms and walking her thru how to do them, for when she had some of her own to complete.

Spencer had also been sharing the stack of cold cases files he worked on periodically and letting her get familiar with the process of trying to help solve them.

Watching Garcia hustle past the desks in the bullpen without so much as perky smile, Eddie and everyone else knew they had a case.

She followed the lead of everyone else and made her way up to the conference room, nervous and excited to participate in her first case.

---------------------------------------------------

"Lucy Barlow age 34 was found yesterday along a hiking trail after being reported missing for 5 days by her sister-in-law. There's no evidence of sexual assault, but the ME did find evidence of restraints on the hands and feet." Everyone was listening intently to Garcia's debriefing as they looked at the crime scene photos behind her head, no one saying anything, but looking for any clues or evidence as to what they were dealing with.

"It's a heroin overdose." Eddie said abruptly, standing up to look closer at the photos displayed, not realizing that all eyes were on her.

"How do you know?" Hotch asked, leaning forward to watch the new agent take her first shot at profiling.

Eddie turned to look at him and faltered slightly seeing the whole team watching her.

Clearing her throat, she turned back to the pictures, "She has miosis or heroin eyes, her pupils are constricted instead of dilated. Her fingernails are blue which is a sign of heroin use, and shes got vomit on the side of her mouth. Most overdoses include vomiting, but her muscles are also slack when they should have already been stiffening up."

Eddie went to sit back down and Garcia continued her debrief with a proud look in her direction.

"She's right, cause of death was ruled overdose by heroin."

"If it's an overdose, then why are we being called in? It sounds like she went on a bender for 5 days and OD'd." Derek said bluntly, everyone else nodding or humming in agreement.

"Because another woman was reported missing this morning, 35 year old Andrea Lakes." Penelope clicked to another photo and the team understood the connection, they looked eerily similar.

"Wheels up in 30." Hotch stood and walked out the door, the rest of the team standing and collecting belongings to start to head to the jet.

"How did you know that those were signs of a heroin overdose?" Eddie could hear the honest curiosity in Spencer's voice, the rest of the team perking their ears up at the new info, the newest agent had been pretty tight lipped about her life, even the parts that weren't redacted or classified.

"My mom overdosed on it when I was 5, we were alone in the house so I got a pretty good look at what it does to the body. Plus I spent a lot of time in trap houses after my dad had sole custody." Eddie said, nonchalantly packing the iPad and files into a carry on bag for the plane ride. She looked up when no answer came from the genius and saw everyone watching her with sad eyes, not even pretending they weren't eavesdropping.

"I'm sorry. I-I didn't know." Spencer mumbled, looking very upset at himself for unlocking a part of Eddie's Tragic Backstory.

Laughing slightly she squeezed his shoulder, "There's no reason for you to have known, Spence. I'm fine you guys, this was a long time ago. Besides the trap houses were my favorite places to stay, they always had the best snacks for the kids." With a grin at the teams slightly horrified looks, she shouldered her bag and went to find the jet.

The plane ride was uneventful, they spent the first 30 minutes to Nebraska going over the case and the rest of the time relaxing. Eddie had started reading a book when Emily tapped it suddenly.

"You read Tolkien?" She questioned in a loud voice making Spencer perk up and the rest of the team to groan exasperated.

Eddie slipped in a book mark, guessing that his was going to be a long conversation.

"Yeah? It's been a while since I read the Hobbit and I figured its a good plane book."

Derek groaned around a grin that was forming, "Don't tell me you're a secret nerd Eddie! Spencer and Penelope are too powerful together, we can't have someone else joining their ranks!"

Eddie laughed and shrugged her shoulders, "I don't know how much of a secret it is, Derek. I started a DnD club in highschool, nothing quite says nerd like a 20 sided die." The rest of the group groaned as Spencer shot up out of his seat and ambled up to the open one next to her, quickly starting up a conversation about LoTR, ignoring the laughter and teasing the whole plane started at the two of them.

#bau as family #bau team #criminal minds #eddie munson #jonathan byers #nancy wheeler #robin buckley #spencer reid #steve harrington #stranger things #aaron hotchner #david rossi #jennifer jareau #emily prentiss #penelope garcia #derek morgan #eddie munson is a girl #upside down trauma #healing #the party

[alannybunnue]

It would be nice to combine my headcanons and those of the OG.

The reader died giving birth to a girl (she could be called Rhaella. Let's add salt to the wound 🙂).

Baelon knew about the letters between reader and Vaegon, however he preferred not to comment on it.

Rhaella was born and raised being overprotected by her siblings. Being sweet, soft and loving with her family, friends and servants just like her mom, but an ambitious, cunning, calculating and cruel woman with whom she considers a threat to her (girlboss with the power of sarcasm and irony on her side). Her siblings don't want to admit that they scare off each and every one of their suitors (coughDaemoncough)(Rhaenys and Aemma facepalm in the background 🤦🏻).

When Aemma died, the possibility of a marriage between Viserys and her was put on the table, but Miss Cunning was ahead of everyone by telling them that she had already secretly married a nephew of Rickon Stark (a knight younger than her). and that there was no way they were going to separate him from her, since she could be pregnant. You don't have to be smart to know that this statement ended in a tremendous scandal. (J&A wanted to strengthen their ties with the North, right?? There they are, their granddaughter listened to them) (It was the first time Viserys was seen fainting, and Gaemon and Daemon white as sheets). It took several knights and dragonkeepers to prevent Daemon from going to kill (or make Caraxes eat) the poor Stark boy who dared to deflower his little sister (not knowing that she was the one who hit on the boy. The girl is the one that rules in the relationship), (Gaemon still shocked in the background 😨).

Rhaella and her husband had several children (they were very passionate about it, okay?😏🔥💖) and like Cregan and the rest of the North, they were also on the side of the Blacks.

She was the only rider of the Cannibal (the damn dragon only trusted her 🖤). She found it by chance in a cave near Dragonstone when she was a child. And, instead of trying to ride him, she sang to him and talked about how lonely she felt, without friends and with the men in her family making her feel suffocated, and she asked him to be friends 😊. That was how Rhaella got the most terrifying dragon after Vaghar (The beginning of a great friendship😊🖤).

She also survived the war (she was also forgiven by Aegon), and she and her family stayed to live in Winterfell.

One of her daughters ended up married to the son of Aemond and Alys (younger than her too...The apple doesn't fall far from the tree 😅😋) and they both founded House Whent (from which Catelyn's mother descends 💖).

.......again I let myself go (this is what excites me💖😊).

The plot connections in this post are so much and it scares me....

Rhaella is pretty much a girlboss

The idea of a Rhaella's child marrying Aemond's son also scares me for some reason (but at least it gives the boy some lore) and also....

Yeah Alys, fuck you, your boy never became king 👌😚

#ask #a song of ice and fire #yandere concept #yandere x reader #house of the dragon #yandere imagine #house targaryen #vaegon targaryen #baelon targaryen #house mallister #mallister!reader

[fallen029]

Want the first half of the new OpB chapter? 🙂

Operation Bosco: Revisited, IV

Jemma had always been prettier than her.

Smarter.

Funnier.

More charismatic and friendly.

People gravitated towards her, when they were kids. She had an air about her that was captivating and made her difficult to forget.

It helped too that, genuinely, she was just a nice person.

She was always the first one to speak to someone new, encourage her friends in their studies and activities and oh shit, just thinking back to those days made Shae’s head hurt.

Jenna was everything she wasn’t.

Or at least Shae thought so, when they were teenagers trapped in their town, with their peers, and everything else felt out of reach. Jemma’s ability to easily express herself, draw others to her side, seem like she really listened when others spoke, those were all traits that made her appealing, when they were younger.

But that felt like forever ago now, to Shae, as she and Jemma began their walk. It was in the opposite direction that Locke had been drug off to, but the pathway was no less lush. Fall was upon them and in the summer’s dying gaze, the flowers and foliage had begun to prep for the coming winter, so perhaps the maze wasn’t at it’s maximum beauty, but Shae felt captured by it all the same.

Jemma had changed her hair color recently, the same light blonde that her mother had, and Shae was off-put by it at first, given it wasn’t how she always pictured her former girlfriend, but as they walked silently along beside one another, it was hard to deny that it contrasted her skin tone perfectly.

“Who’s the guy?” Jemma finally asked when it was clear, after her ten second explanation, Shae had found herself lost for words once more. “That you came in with? Is he-”

“I work with him,” Shae reiterated softly, glancing over at the other woman. “He and his girlfriend are helping our team infiltrate Bosco.”

“Why?”

“Because of the slave trade, Jemma,” Shae replied, somewhat confused, but the woman only shook her head.

“I meant,” Jemma questioned, “How did you and your mother get caught up in all of that? Last I heard, you were out on the coast and-”

“And,” Shae finished for her, “while we were there, slavers struck and they captured us. I-I…”

“Oh, Shae, I had no idea.” Jemma stopped suddenly, turning to face her with. “I heard about them hitting the coasts, but I had no idea you… Are you-”

“I escaped,” she insisted simply to the other woman with a nod. “But my mother and I were separated. I’ve been searching for her while working with a group I met. It’s a rebel operation, I guess, but we all just want to help the enslaved in Bosco.”

She’d been poised, Jemma had, to comfort the other woman in some way, but before she could even reach out to rub at her shoulder or draw her in for a hug, Shae had sealed any portion of herself off that required pity. The wetness behind her green eyes dried and her stance became closed off, retreating maybe, even, as she couldn’t meet Jemma’s gaze, instead staring off into the hedge behind the woman.

“I’m not asking you to get involved in that or help find my mother or even feel bad for me about any of it.” Shae held her head higher as, finally looking the other woman in the eyes, she insisted, “I just want you to help remove some rocks. That’s all. We’ll get you into Bosco, you do a few days work for us, and then we can go back to not talking.”

Jemma didn’t back down her gaze, instead giving her head the tiniest of shakes as she insisted, “You have some nerve, you know that?”

“I really don’t,” Shae insisted. “Locke had to practically drag me here. I wouldn’t have come if it wasn’t absolutely necessary.”

“These tunnels… They’ll help you find your mom?” Jemma asked and, when Shae nodded some, the other woman let out a bit of a sigh before remarking, “I love your mother. If it’ll help save her, I’ll do whatever I can.”

It felt like a victory, even if it was just a small one, and as Shae found it difficult to hide her grin, Jemma only stepped up to finally hug her, and it would be worth it, Locke was assuring himself, on a separate path, where his arm was wrapped up just as tightly by the younger of the two sisters. Jessica was the name that she gave him while she only continued to nuzzle her way against his arm.

“God that sounds so exciting,” she was remarking as Locke explained, uncomfortably, what the day to day life of a mage might look like. The profession was hardly a standard one in the Kingdom of Joya, given its lack of innate magical energy, and instead seemed to be more part of the mythos of the kingdoms blessed with it. “And you come from a family of mages?”

“Mother, father, yep,” he agreed with a nod. “My dad’s a pretty big deal especially, back in Fiore.”

“Wow.” And she seemed to grip his bicep harder then and, after finding every attempt to gently pry her off not working, Locke decided it was time to bring out the big bomb.

“Yeah,” he went on. “My girlfriend’s Dad is pretty famous too. All the Dreyars are, I guess, in some way. Most of them, anyways.”

“Girlfriend?”

“Haven.” He thought of the woman then and all the trouble and havoc she was no doubt raining down on poor Jed. “We’ll be meeting back up with her on the docks.”

Locke had banked on this being enough to draw the disinterest or even ire of the younger woman, but though her grip did relax some, she held tight to his arm anyways.

“Long way out,” she remarked softly. “The docks are.”

And he could do little more other than frown and try once more to slip his arm away.

“She’s a demon,” he kept up, almost like a warning. “Honestly. One resides inside her. Through her magic. It can still come out at times, if she’s angry enough.”

“I don’t believe in that.”

“Anger?” Locke asked, incredulous, but the younger woman only giggled and, when she brought her hands up to cover her mouth, he was able to free his arm, quickly taking a faster pace down the path, hoping to avoid being captured once more.

“No, silly.” And she was sure to match his pace. “Demons.”

“They’re real,” he insisted to her. “Whether you believe in them or not.”

“I’ve never seen one,” she kept up.

“Then you’re lucky,” Locke assured. “Are you religious?”

“No,” she answered honestly.

“Neither am I,” he said. “But there’s true evil in this world and it delights in our terror. It’s better not to awaken such things.”

Their path would eventually butt into the one Jemma and Shae was idling down and Locke wasn’t sure he’d ever been so happy to see a friend.

“We’re staying for dinner,” Shae informed him and, suddenly, he wasn’t so happy to see her.

Still, he was in a better position that Haven that early evening as she and Porter returned to the bar to collect Jed. He was clearly uneasy by the appearance of the other man and eyed Haven in a way she didn’t quite appreciate as she explained they’d be journeying with him for a day or so.

“Until we go back to the docks,” she remarked. “You don’t have to come. You can stay at your father’s cabin and I’ll collect you later.”

“What exactly are you doing?” Jed asked. “Haven?”

“Porter’s going to find us that woman. The one that sold you.”

“Haven-” Jed started as he’d already told her, earlier in the evening, that this was not something that he wanted to happen, bu the woman merely shook her head.

It was awkward. The whole thing. Like threading pieces of her your life together that didn’t quite fit. Haven was someone new now, that Porter didn’t know, and that really, Jed didn’t either. The time she’d spent with both men, one more recent than the other, but the former more intimate than she quite wanted to admit. It would be difficult, in better circumstances, to blend these different faucets together seamlessly, but Haven had never shied away from the difficult.

“This is your last chance, Jed,” she insisted to him, pleaded, almost. “I’m not saying that we hurt her or anything. I’m just saying… I died once. There’s just shit that you have to do before that happens. And in Bosco… You should should at least see her, before we leave. Or her fucking brother. Whichever we find.”

Jed was different. Than Haven. Than the people she’d grown up with. Much like Locke, she was seeing just what a lack of easily accessible magic could cause. Vendettas and revenge were for novels and movies; they weren’t meant to be something you actually partook in. The standard morals and laws of Joya had been built in a way to reflect it’s population; it was far more heavily regulated than the lawlessness that could oft be found in Fiore. You had officers of the law who weren’t just around to insure then integrity of the Kingdom’s capital and keep its Queen protected; most municipalities had their own jails and systems of governing that felt wholly unknown to the blonde.

“It’s not,” he tried, one last time, Jed did, to make her understand this, “the way we do things here.”

“And selling people to slavers is?”

“No!” he huffed. “But-”

“But nothing, Jed,” Haven asserted then, feeling the winning tide wash over her as, slowly, the man seemed to be won over by her words. “This is closure.”

“There’s no such thing,” he retorted. “And you know that. You have to.”

“I know that I didn’t get it, the first time around,” she agreed. “But that doesn’t mean that I’m not going to this time. Now come on! The more time we waste, the more likely we are to miss the boat and then Locke will be his whiny little bitch boy self for the entire ride on whatever other boat we find. I really wanna avoid that.”

“So you enlist the help of him?” Jed couldn’t quite say he knew much about Porter, but he’d seen how Locke had reacted to the man’s presence.

At the moment, Porter was standing off to the side, observing and silent in a way that Haven wasn’t accustomed. He seemed to be someone new now as well, or at least processing something heavy, and while Haven had no interest in what was eating at the man, his earlier mention of some sort of evil magic he and his gang had run into had her somewhat intrigued.

Even if only in passing.

To Jed though, she merely shrugged as she remarked, “You can’t always choose your connections.”

“Is that what you’ll tell Locke?”

“I don’t have to tell Locke shit.” She soured immediately. “I’m doing this for you. If you don’t want my help, fine.”

“I…” Jed sighed some, glancing around the bar, as if looking for some sort of sign. When none appeared, he found himself gazing into the deep blues of the blonde. “I want to make it back to the dock in time. I do not wish to inconvenience neither Shae nor Locke.”

“Me either,” Haven agreed with a nod before glancing over at Porter. “So let’s get started, huh?”

The evening, for them, would hardly be interesting. Instead, after finding a communication lacrima, Porter would have to play a quick game of verbal tag with anyone he knew in the area. It was slow going, cooped up in some motel room with one another, as Porter sat hunched over the desk, writing down info as he listened to various people give him clues and hints, while Haven paced and Jed sat on the end of the bed, alternating between nervous sighs and toying with his fingers.

It would be slow going for a few hours.

Though Locke would have certainly put a stop to Haven’s ideas of getting revenge or closure for Jed, he absolutely would have rather been off doing that sort of menial work than where he found himself.

The man was a schmoozer, having been born with the natural charisma of his mother (luckily avoiding the awkwardness of his father), and usually enjoyed such settings. He was a cut up who fed on the attention of others praising his quick wit and losing themselves in his tales of bravery.

Haven wasn’t the kind to be schmoozed. She was too combative and defensive to let someone drone on about their own accomplishments and life. Which was fine, Locke reasoned many times that if he was attracted to her, and this was one of her more prominent qualities, then surely he must find it attractive.

Somehow.

Still, this left him a bit deprived at times from the attention he typically drew. Most every other girlfriend he had was enthralled with his job and magic and just him, really, and it was nice to be appreciated sometimes.

But…

When they sat down for dinner that night it was in the company, of course, of the two sisters, but also their mother. And while she seemed rather interested and disheartened when she heard of Shae’s troubles (though her daughter’s future involvement in the work was not mentioned), but far more interested in Locke.

Which was nice, as stated previously, because he did enjoy throwing on his most personable traits, but there was another at the table who was also eating up every word out of his mouth.

Jessica across from him at the eight person dining table, fully intent on staring deeply in his eyes any time he accidentally caught her gaze. She found his magic intriguing, his life more so life and how long, exactly, was he staying in Joya anyways?

More than once, Locke looked to Shae, hoping she would, well, help him somehow, but she kept her eyes on her plate and only spoke when spoken to.

Across from her and beside her sister, Jemma sat prim and proper as she mostly picked at her dinner and made similar small talk with Locke as her mother. Things seemed pleasant yet tense and Locke could hardly wait for it to all be over.

“So when you collect a reward for a completed job,” the mother was questioning then, tilting her head a bit as she looked to the man, “must you give some of it to your guildhall? Or do you pay fees?”

“Well, they get a fee directly from the client, for getting their job posted in the first place,” he said with a bit of a shrug and he would have left it at that. Really, he would have. However, beneath the table, Jessica again tried to brush her foot against his and he was sure to add, “My girlfriend, Haven, her younger sister works in the bar. They know more about the behind the scene stuff than I do. At least, her sister does. Not Haven. Actually, you know, we’re supposed to be meeting with her, soon. We’ll probably have to take off right after dinner.”

“Really?” The mother sighed some, looking off as she remarked, “My father was quite the adventurer, once upon a time.”

Shae’s head lifted then as, suddenly, a thought occurred to her. Without much thought, she questioned, “How is your grandfather?”

Even Jessica stopped trying to gather Locke’s attention then as all three women looked rather distraught.

“He passed,” was all Jemma seemed willing to offer up, but her mother filled Shae in on the details.

“It was awful,” she admitted with a shake of her head. “He started feeling ill at the beginning of the month and the illness took him before his end. It still feels unreal, at times.”

“I’m sorry.” Shae looked around to all three of them, frowning some as she insisted, “I didn’t know.”

“Oh, sweetheart, how would you?” Jemma’s mother shook her head. “None of us quite know when our time is. What can you do in the mean time other than live?”

Locke frowned some, shifting uncomfortably in his head. Death wasn’t common in his life, prior to Haven’s demise on the gauntlet, it and was difficult for him to associate it with anything other than his one foray into the topic.  

Still, with a nod of his own head, he remarked softly, “It’s sad all the same.”

“Living, though,” Shae decided then, glancing over at Locke, as if to get him to follow suit, “is kind of why we’re here. Adventure and all that. Right, Locke?”

“Uh, yeah, I guess so.” Nodding his head, he remarked, “Working in Bosco can be, uh, very….eye opening.”

“I’ve heard it’s beautiful,” the mother remarked with a bit of a sigh. “Well, certain parts.”

“Mom,” Jemma interrupted with a frown towards her. “They literally harbor slaves. They captured Shae.”

“I’m not saying that people are beautiful, Jemma,” her mother retorted with a roll of her eyes. “Just the landscape.”

“It’s okay,” Locke told them both with a shrug, hoping to keep the peace. “I guess there’s beautiful people everywhere.”

“Yeah.” Jessica sat to attention once more as she stared at lock with wide eyes. “I guess there are.”

“Jemma’s right though,” Shae remarked. “Bosco needs to be dealt with. And we’ve been making progress, but we’ve run into a….slight problem. And… Jemma could help us.”

There was an awkward beat then, as Jemma hadn’t quite planned to inform her mother of the venture in this manner, while Jessica and their mother merely froze, thoughts racing for both but in different directions.

“Help you,” the mother finally repeated and Locke was quick to take over.

“The tunnel system we’re using to transport slaves out of Bosco is run down,” he explained, “and certain parts are now inaccessible. But with Jemma’s ability to easily move rocks-”

“You wanna go down in a gross tunnel and shovel rocks?” Jessica couldn’t help it. She laughed, staring over at her sister in amusement. “You can’t honestly be considering that.”

“Shut up, Jess,” Jemma retorted with a glare.

“Jemma, you cannot…travel to...Bosco.” Her mother shook her head at the thought. “I don’t know what they’ve told you, but-”

“It’ll be fine, Mom.” Jemma shrugged a bit as she said, “I’m not a slave. I can freely visit Bosco as I wish. If I happen to get there and sneak off into some tunnels-”

“Absolutely not.”

“Mom-”

“You think that I’m going to agree with you going to Bosco after your friend came here, telling us her own mother was captured and sold?”

Jemma shook her head a bit at her mother before remarking, “It’s not your decision.”

And it wasn’t, maybe, but there was a stickiness, Locke found, in that transition between being a full adult and still remaining under your parents roof. It was something he avoided, easily, given his chosen profession had him earning jewels from a young age, but sympathized, all the same.

Maybe.

Shae hadn’t fully explained to him all that had gone wrong with she and Jemma (given they were kids, he figured it was standard shit) and was cautious about getting too chummy with her. It was easy for him sometimes to forget that his relationship was the outlier and he’d had plenty fail before it.

The night was awkward from there.

It was very clear that Mrs. Ainwise wanted them out of there and Shae was very obliging. She told Jemma to meet them at the train station tomorrow morning if she truly intended on traveling with them and then she and Locke kicked off into the night.

Ronan was a beautiful city in the day, but at night, with all the shops lit up and the electric vibe running through the crowd of people that filled the heart of the city, it was hard for even Shae to stay mad for long.

She’d been kicking at stones, their entire walk away from the Ainwise residence, and Locke left her to whatever thoughts she was having.

They were a bit aimless, wandering around the city with no real place to be for another two days. Shae had some family in town, but no one she seemed keen to drop in on so late at night, and they’d get a room at an inn or something, she muttered eventually, and Locke echoed agreement.

Before that thought, they had a drink at one of the pubs, Shae even recognizing the guy behind the bar.

“We went to school together,” she offered to Locke softly and he thought, again, of what it would have been like. To be able to do something like that. And how much more he’d known about breaking down magical spells.

Then he remembered Shae probably didn’t spend a lot of time working on that and he thought about how he should open a magical school, where they only taught those sorts of things.

But then he realized that a magical school implies learning a magic, not necessarily studying it, and he would have kids apply who just wanted him to teach them things, as opposed to learning about the things, and that made him think of Haven, and how she never wanted him to really explain how he discovered a new spell for her, just to give it to her, and that made him sigh.

Because he didn’t wanna think about Haven then.

He thought about Haven constant.

“She isn’t going to come, you know.”

“Yes, she will,” he retorted, automatically, with a bit of aggression behind his words.

“I mean, maybe,” Shae backtracked some, frowning at him. “Didn’t know you and Jemma were so close.”

They were seated at a sticky table in the bar, him hunched over his drink about the same she was, each giving off unpleasant energy. Locke drank a lot, in the years he was a single man, and spent a lot of time in bars that weren’t just his guild. Drinking wasn’t what he did when he got down on himself; it was a social activity for him, one he partook in with friends when he needed a break from the constant grind of jobs.

So his beer offered nothing, but slow drips of sweat across its frosty, glass mug that pooled at the bottom of the glass, adding its own marking, own ring to the table filled with plenty.

“Jemma?” Locke shook his head. “I didn’t… I was talking about Haven.”

“Oh.” Frowning, Shae shrugged some as she said, “She’s fine. Why wouldn’t she show up?”

“Dunno.” Locke went back to watching the water slowly drip down the side of his mug. “Why do you think Jemma won’t? Because of her mother?”

Shae wasn’t staring at her drink. Or him, even, really. Her eyes were constantly drifting, scanning the others in the bar, looking up every time the front door was opened. It wasn’t fearful glancing, rather, Shae seemed to still be soaking it all back in again.

Joya.

Ronan.

Locke wondered if he’d feel the same, whenever he made it home to Magnolia again.

“I don’t know.” Shae picked up her mug, but didn’t take a sip. “I think she would have gone, the second we left the garden, but once she has more time to think of it, to think of me-”

“What’d you do to her, anyways?”

“W-What?”

Locke shrugged some as he sat up then, pulling his own mug to him and taking a swig. After it, he repeated, “What’d you do to her, Shae?”

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“C’mon.” He even laughed some, forcing himself to feel better just as much as he was attempting to do the same to Shae. “You wanna hear about how I fucked up once?  As a primer?”

“I really don’t wanna fucking hear about-”

“Not with Haven.” He sniffled some, looking off as he said, “When she was gone, in Bosco or whatever the fuck, I… I dated a lot and there was this one woman that I was super into. But I’d just seen Haven, in Crocus, and it made it difficult because she was sending me letters and-”

“Awe.” Shae couldn't help it. She smiled some, more of a sneer, really, as she joked, “You wrote little love letters?”

“I guess so,” Locke shrugged as she giggled and took a drink. “I did, anyways. Haven just wrote about herself.”

“Sounds like her.”

“But they meant a lot to me. Then. And now, I guess.” He took another swig and sighed as he remarked, “But I thought that I was falling in love with that other woman. I didn’t know what to do about it. Like, what if Haven came back? Or...or… I don’t know, what if I actually liked Terra more, you know? So you have to weigh all your options.”

“Bird in the hand, two in the bush,” Shae offered around her drink to which he nodded.

“She was at my place one day, when the mail came. And one of Haven’s letters.” Setting his drink down, Locke scratched at the back of his head as his stomach clinched and he felt like an ass, still, all this time later. “And she knew about Haven. I guess. Everyone knows something about her.”

“You never shut up about her.”

“I was better at it,” he retorted with a frown, “before she died. Especially when she fucking ditch. But… She was still my friend. So it made sense for her to write me. And for my parents to ask about her. Or her parents and sister to talk to and worry about me so much. Or at least that’s kinda how I played it off, I guess, because who wants to be with someone like that, you know? When they’re all hung up on some other person?”

Shae considered this for a moment before asking, “So what happened? Haven came back or-”

“She saw the letter, remember?” He laughed some. “She got the mail and was like, ‘Oh, your friend Haven sent you something,’ and I tried to take it from her, but she was laughing at me, thinking it was a joke, the way I was so upset by her not giving it to me, and then she opened and Haven wrote… It’s stupid. It was just…”

His laugh that time was even less humorous and Locke wasn’t even sure why he was sharing this story. He’d never even told it to Haven. His friends. Maybe only Pantherlily, as he told the Exceed mostly everything.  

The story wasn’t awful; he wasn’t even certain he’d done anything wrong. Dated a woman while he waited for another to come home. People did that shit all the time. He wasn’t sleep with Haven then, going out to meet her in motel rooms or anything. Just writing one another.

While he was very openly in a relationship with someone else he expected monogamy from.

Maybe he didn’t usually tell the story because it made him out to be the bad guy. And no one in his life, not even the people who hated his guts, would call him that.

He just patently wasn’t.

Locke was a good person. He always had been. He was kind and considerate. He wasn’t bully and actively looked out for the younger members of the guild. He’d never purposely disrespect a woman, whether he was dating her or not, honestly, but with some extra special care to the ones he did.

He wasn’t so sure this story would even lead to tarnishing that opinion. Haven was mock him, his father would snort and recall his own youth, all his friend had done far worse in relationships.

It was really a non-issue that he’d blown up because he knew it was wrong, deep down, as he was doing it. He could have written Haven, to tell her he was seeing someone and that until she came back to Magnolia to fully commit to him, then he was going to have to move on.

She might have come home.

She might have not.

But that had nothing to do with him and his decisions.

Terra probably didn’t think he was a nice person.

He hoped she didn’t think about him at all. He hardly did her, now. He imagined, in a few years, as he thought even less about it, when asked to describe the relationship, the best he’d be able to give with a shrug and cite it as a few month fling while he was separated from his girlfriend.

But that wasn’t wholly true.

He fell in love with every woman he dated, in silly ways that faded in days usually, but she’d been different. She really helped him feel better about himself in a time period where he wasn’t in the best place mentally. Terra had never heard of breaking down magical spells before and they bonded over it, as he taught her all about it, and it was fun, having someone actively engaging with you and genuinely interested in your interests.

“She said it was her or Haven.” Locke dropped his arms. “It wasn’t that hard of a choice.”

Shae regarded him for a few moments before remarking, “You’re stupid, you know that?”

He laughed at her, Locke did, reclaiming his drink as he said, “Now your turn.”

Rolling her eyes, she took a sip of her own. Around it, she replied, “It’s nothing as dramatic as your perfect little love story.”

“Yeah that’s what I think of when I think of perfect,” he agreed. “Emotional cheating and guilt.”

“There isn’t, like, some story about it or whatever.” Now in the hot seat, Shae wasn’t enjoying it near as much. “I just… Sometimes… Locke-”

“We’re friends,” he told her. “Do you remember when you were kids and you’d, like, cut your palm and smash it into the other person’s and that meant you were bonded?”

“Is that what you and Haven did?” She seemed aghast. “Is that what the fuck is wrong with you?”

“What the fuck do girls do then?” he asked. “To become blood brothers?”

“Uh, we just don’t, Locke.”

“You’re missing out.” He laughed then and the joy was back in it, the ease. Tilting his head a bit, he said, “If it’s that bad, you don’t have tell me. I’ll just fill in the blanks myself, huh?”

Shae snorted as she remarked, “Gross.”

“What?” Confused, he asked, “How is what I said gross?”

“I don’t know,” Shae admitted. “But whenever straight men say that shit, fill in blanks and imagining shit, you always- No, you don’t get to act like that’s not what you meant.”

“It’s not.” Locke was laughing though, while he was trying so hard to seem innocent. It wasn’t difficult, as his intentions were pure, but Shae was laughing too and he didn’t press her again.

Not while they were at the bar.

It was nice to have a night completely free of their obligations, something that wouldn’t be common, the deeper into things they got with Bosco, and Locke forgot.

A lot.

That night.

He forgot about how shitty Bosco made him feel. He forgot about Alwood’s assistant. He forgot that Porter and Haven had that weird meeting at the docks. He forgot he hated Astra. He forgot who she even was. Maybe even who porter was.

He forgot that they’d freed people from being horrifically abused and forgot that there were still people, as he drank and loosened up, actively being horrifically abused.

He felt like himself again, for the first time since coming to join the early stages of the resistance.

Shae wasn’t a drinker. She never had been. So she kept far more of her composure that night, when they left the bar and stumbled through the streets, laughing and giggling to one another. She’d forgotten things too.

Like how good it felt to have someone you actually consider a friend.

Xavier was a kid. Astra was her boss, sort of. And Richard was a gross, older dude she had to put up with. And some of the women they’d freed, she liked enough, but there wasn’t enough space to call them true friend yet.

But that night sealed the deal between her and Locke, it seemed.

They shared a room at the inn, each falling into a separate bed the second they could.

Shae was just buzzed enough to not care that she hadn’t had a chance to shower off, but not to comfortably drift off to sleep.

Locke was in a similar state, too drunk to care to tidy himself, but so drunk that sleep wasn’t comfortable to him either.

It was while he was moaning, softly, about how much his stomach hurt, that Shae found herself whispering his name softly.

“What?” he whispered from over on his cot.

They’d chosen the lowliest of inns to rent a room in, purposefully, to save funds. This meant, however, that the room was small, the sheets were stiff, and there was a strange, dripping spot in the ceiling in the corner. Neither was sober enough to care.

Shae was facing away from him, looking towards a painting that hung on the wall of some beach scene, with happy families dotting the little specks of dark and light brown mixing, over looking the blue waves beyond.

To the painting, rather than the man, she said, “I… When my dad died, I started to kinda… Sometimes I just have to be alone. For long periods of time. Like I shut people out, I guess, sometimes. When they… If they get to close. I can’t do that. Again. You know? Like it’s one thing to date or fuck around, but… Jemma was the first girl I ever felt that way about, when I was a kid, and when we were dating, it was all so good until… I don’t know. I don’t understand that part of me. What makes me like that? And… You know, you start to think, are you broken? Why aren’t you feeling the same way as everyone else around you? And then…and then school ends and you have to make serious decision and you run off. And don’t talk. For weeks. Because you’re trying to figure out what the fuck is wrong with you. And then you come back and you’re dealing with your fucking family behind pissed at you and oh, your girlfriend is fucking done with you, everyone’s done with you and all you needed was...was…”

“Downtime.”

“What?” She’d kinda forgotten he was there. She was just rambling, truly, to herself, and Locke’s voice shocked her out of it.

“Downtime.” Locke pushed up some, over on his bed, so he could stare at the back of her head more clearly. “Things got too real and you needed time away. That’s okay.”

“It’s not though.” Sniffling some, she ran a hand across her face, ending the streaks of tears rolling down her face. “You can’t just fucking take off, Locke. You can’t do that to people. And then never even tell them why.”

“Then tell her why.”

“What?”

“Do you want Jemma to be your friend again?” He fell back into the bed. “Like not even your girlfriend. Just straight out, do you want her to be your friend?” Without waiting for an answer, he said, “Then tell her why you ran away. Even if it happened a long time ago. We all get scared sometimes, Shae. We all need a break.”

“That doesn’t mean, like, you can just take off though,” she said.

“I’m from a guild.” He rolled over onto his back, groaning some as he said, “I was lucky. My parents loved me. Not all the mages do. Your parents leave for weeks, on jobs that pay shit, then come home and just fucking drink it all away anyways. My still left, but when they were back… Maybe my view’s fucked. I dunno. But a few weeks out of a lifetime?”

“I should have at least told her,” she whispered then, the last hold over of guilt she felt and Locke couldn’t spare her it.

“Yeah.” He blinked up at the ceiling. “You should always tell someone. Before you leave.”

“So-”

“So,” Locke kept up, “you didn’t. You fucked up. And you’ve paid for it. It ruined things between the two of you. Apologize.”

“I can’t.”

“Just say you’re sorry.”

“I can’t, Locke,” she insisted. “It was so long ago and-”

“And? You think pain goes away because it was a long time ago? It doesn’t. People are fucking liars. Time doesn’t heal shit. Just helps you forget.”

Shae sat up then, pressing her back against the wire headboard of her cot as she looked over at the man. “And you think,” she asked him softly, “that some stupid words can do it then? Take pain away?”

“Yeah.” He tossed an arm over his eyes. “I know they can.”

This was considered silently, from Shae, and for a long while. Long enough, even, that Locke was pretty sure he’d fallen asleep, even if just for a moment, when she began to speak again.

“What do you think,” she whispered softly as she sunk back into her bed, “they’re doing right now? Back at base?”

He groaned a bit, not even opening his eyes as he said, “Mutiny. Against X.”

“Yeah,” she agreed. “I could see that.”

“It’s what I’d do,” he added to which she giggled, maybe a bit.

“What about Jed?” she asked. “And Haven?”

This one got a different groan out of the man as he rolled onto his side, giving her his back now.

“I dunno,” he admitted softly, “but probably something dangerous and stupid.”

He wasn’t wholly incorrect, given she definitely was going to be attempting, in a two day span, to track down a human trafficker, but at the moment, she wasn’t doing anything that different from him.

She was asleep, in the room Porter rented, her breathing so stilled and nearly silent that Jed could only just pick it up, when he concentrated on her very hard.

He didn’t sleep, instead sitting up at the end of the bed she was curled up in, silently watching Porter do his best to schmooze others through the lacrima into giving him information.

Jed didn’t trust the younger guy. At all. His vibe was off. Not to mention, Locke had clearly disliked him when they met. There was some sort of tension there that Jed didn’t understand and had no desire to. Childish chatter about romantic entanglements were for youth, which all three were, and not of his concern.

Haven was his friend, more so than Locke, and his main focus was more making sure she wasn’t harmed.

He was putting in the hours though, Porter was, on tracking down names and locations, Jed would give him that. Though he wasn’t certain if this is what he wanted (and if it wasn’t, what he did want instead), the idea that Haven would cash in a favor with Porter on his behalf was a nice confirmation of just how deep their friendship had become.

Yet….that wasn’t the only reason they were there in that moment.

Because whether she could admit it aloud or not, to herself or not, Haven chose to keep Porter around for selfish reasons.

Maybe even part of her had been hoping, that morning on the docks, that he’d be there, like he warned he might.

It wasn’t so much that she wanted to sleep with him. Not anymore. She’d gotten her fill of Porter, before their final fight, and even if she hadn’t gotten killed on the gauntlet, Haven didn’t imagine she’d ever find herself rekindling anything with him.

In fact, the plan had been to hunt him down, once she and Ravan accessed the new power from the gauntlet.

She was still angry back then, though. About everything. Now, removed from it by so long, the man just looked like a shell. A ghost.

It’s why she wanted to spend more time with him, honestly. It was gnawing at her to know what happened to the others that they palled around with back then. Not out fear for their safety or anything; Haven was just fucking nosy.

She also just really, really wanted to do something fun for once. A mission that didn’t end with the absolute misery of knowing, yes, you’ve friend a fraction of the silent trapped in Bosco.

Haven wanted a victory.

Just enough to sate her to the next.

When Jed gently shoved her awake, she was a bit dazed and even surprised, maybe a bit, when Porter spoke.

“Got a lead,” he said as she rubbed the sleep from her eyes. “Small one, but I think it’ll take us where we need to go.”

“Cool.” Haven, finally, just jammed each palm into her eye sockets, pushing and twisting hard enough that the pain woke her fully. As she dropped her hands, she looked over at the man, blonde hair askew following her slumber. Grinning at him, it was hard for Porter not to return it at the woman said, “Then let’s head out.”

[papirouge]

Somehow, my blog has drawn a whole bunch of new followers so I shall provide a proper presentation 🙃

My name is Yona

I’m on tumblr since 2013 - initially it was a fashion blog (as I started running this blog while still being a fashion student) but my blog content progressively became more diverse by the years. I came to Christ in 2018 and that's around that time I started posting more Christian content. As a consequence, my following is very heterogeneous (a bunch of my followers are definitely not Christians) but I'm feeling truly blessed to have such a diverse range of people to spread the Gospel to🙂✝️💗

Whether you're Christian or not, thank you everyone for coping up with me!! 🙏🏾

If I described my Christian type of content, it’d probably be "Rogue Christian homeschooled by the Holy Spirit who's very passionate about Spiritual discernment“. I rebuke & blow some whistle from time to time 📯👀

I’m a fashion graduate so I’m quite passionate about the issue of body image, the commodification of the female body and pornocracy. I'm quite a perfectionist.

I live in Paris’ suburbs in a ridiculously cozy place.

I’m 5′8, left handed, and older than you👀

My major strength is my health. I’ve been gifted with good creative skills as well. My weak point are my socializing skills. Although I’m quite outspoken and assertive online, I’m very quiet and awkward IRL lol

I hate beer and milk. My favorite dish is my mom’s home cooked lasagnas. Chocolate cake will NEVER get out of style.

I speak French (native), English (my posts are full of syntax & grammatical errors mostly because I’m lazy at proofreading lol but I’m pretty much fluent at this point), Japanese (conversational, but I’m still studying to become fluent!!), and a bit of Spanish (I used to be pretty good when I left school but out of lack of practice I lost a bunch of my skills... I’m still somehow okay’ish with reading & listening comprehension)

As I said, I’m a fashion school graduate but my real love is actually drawing (I used to dabble into the fanzine scene when I was a teen) and I’m currently working on a “Christian comic novel”.✍🏾🙊

My favorite chapter in the Bible is John 14.

My favorite Bible characters are the prophets because they were bullied, as I did as a kid, so I grew a special fondness for them. I find them very inspiring as of how facing rejection -even from fellow Christians- while spilling biblical soundness & spiritual battle.

“For the time will come when people will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear.” (2 Tim 4:3). I learned from them to NEVER being intimated or giving up if it’s for standing up in the name of the Lord.

I also have a soft spot for Peter because although he showcased cowardice several times, he ultimately stood up for Christ - he’s pretty relatable and real. We've all been Peter at one moment or another during our walk with Jesus.

Voilààà !!!

Hopefully you’ll enjoy whatever pops out in your dash from me!! my box will always be open to chat/share/reflecting together!

Have a nice day! 🌞

#Christian #personal

[wakandas-vibranium]

Food Fight

Characters: T’Challa, M’baku and Erik

Warnings: Fluff and pure silliness

Word Count: 1.4k

A/N: Man listen I laughed so hard while writing this! 🤣💀 Hope y’all laugh as much as I did! 🙂

Taglist: @inlovewithmakeupcomicsanimelove, @sweettea-and-honeybutter, @maya-leche, @muse-of-mbaku, @princesskillmonger, @killmongersgurl, @killmongerdispussy, @bury-me-in-the-ocean, @bartierbakarimobisson, @randomwordprompts, @uhlxis, @blackgirloneshots, @yaachtynoboat711, @youreadthatright, @wakandalivesforever, @thehomierobbstark, @sicksadgen, @wakanda-4evr, @chefjessypooh, @drsunshine97

“My chances are very good.” M’baku’s boisterous voice bounced off the apricot kitchen walls.

“And what makes you think you will do better than me, hmm?” T’Challa questioned.

M’baku, T’Challa and Erik were in Texas for one last day and they’ve decided to prepare their favorite meals outside of Wakanda for each other to kill time. The conference they were attending ended earlier than expected so they had a free day. It was Erik’s idea to have a cook off. The past few days have been stressful for them with all the meetings and conferences, but they were one step closer to an alliance with important American leaders.

T’Challa sent two of the Dora Milaje to the local grocery store to collect their ingredients. While they were gone Okoye and Ayo had to listen to the three of them boast about whose meal would be the best.

“...Okay but I’m the one who lived in America for years so that means I will win.” Erik shrugged.

“Wrong.” M’baku coughed.

“We are all Wakandan. Just because you spent a couple of decades here does not mean you are the better cook.”

“Keep telling yourself that, cousin.” Erik smirked.

___

M’baku decided to make spaghetti and garlic bread for his meal. He never told anyone but cooking was his favorite pastime. Whenever he needed to clear his head he would cook. Cooking was therapeutic for him. His children enjoyed when he cooked more. His oldest daughter assured him on several accounts that he was a better cook than her mother. That was a secret they kept amongst themselves.

Erik moved with ease around the kitchen as he prepared his meal. Erik just knew he was going to win. He had no doubt about it. He was making fried chicken and green beans. It was his favorite meal that his mom used to cook for him and N’Jobu back in Oakland. Of course Erik was the only one dancing while he cooked. Two-stepping every time he seasoned a leg or thigh.

T’Challa wasn’t doing so well. He was too nervous. His agile reflexes were the only thing keeping him from slicing a long digit. The last time he prepared a meal it was for Shuri and Ramonda. Let’s just say that Shuri was a harsh critic.

“I thought you loved us brother! I would rather eat a plate of vibranium than this udoti!” Shuri complained.

“Shuri! Be nice now.” Ramonda scolded, pinching Shuri on her arm to silence her.

“T’Challa, thank you my son for preparing a meal for us but you absolutely do not have to do this again.” Ramonda reassured as she pushed her plate to the side.

Not wanting a repeat of that night, T’Challa focused on preparing a delicious meal. He was determined to beat his cousin and closest friend. He was confident that his steak and potatoes would be nothing short of palatable.

Soon enough the granite counters were covered in several meats, vegetables and spices. Sounds of water running, pots and pans clanging filled the kitchen. Erik, M’baku and T’Challa danced around each other as they prepared their dishes.

After plating their meals, they dug in. For a few minutes all you could hear was chewing and forks sliding on plates. Erik turned to T’Challa and M’baku for their opinion on his chicken only to frown at their revolted faces.

“Why y’all making that face?” Erik rolled his eyes.

“I do not like this fried chicken.” T’Challa grumbled.

“Neither do I.” M’baku uttered before stuffing more green beans in his mouth.

“Perhaps this is fried grease instead of chicken.” T’Challa snickered.

“I know you ain’t talking shit, T’Challa! This bland ass steak you cooked is dry as fuck.” Erik exclaimed.

“That is not true!” T’Challa pouted as he folded his arms over his chest.

“Yes, it is, T! I’ve heard of well done, but this is burnt!” Erik ranted.

M’baku choked back a laugh, patting his chest before taking a large gulp of water. M’baku wasn’t going to say anything but T’Challa’s steak was a bit over cooked.

“Are you from Africa or Europe? There’s no seasoning on this steak!” Erik jabbed.

M’baku’s shoulders shook as he laughed harder.

“I don’t know why you laughing either with this soggy ass excuse of garlic bread,” Erik quipped, pointing a stubby finger at M’baku, “who makes spaghetti without meatballs anyway?”

“I am vegetarian.” M’baku pouted. He was quite proud of his dish.

“You ain’t vegetarian, Bak! I caught you eating curry goat last week! You ain’t slick nigga!” Erik scoffed.

“N’Jadaka, I was just giving you my honest opinion.”

T’Challa explained, biting back a smile at M’baku’s agape mouth. T’Challa saw him eating curry goat too he just didn’t say anything.

“Honest opinion my ass!” Erik barked as he grabbed a chunk of spaghetti, launching it at T’Challa.

M’baku threw his head back as he laughed as T’Challa’s cocoa eyes widened in mere shock. Erik and T’Challa always feuded over the silliest things. M’baku’s laughter ceased as a handful of spaghetti covered his bearded face, a few noodles slipping in his mouth. Erik and T’Challa chuckled loudly, high fiving each other.

M’baku scooped up some unseasoned potatoes before launching them at T’Challa’s head, one snagging him in the eye. T’Challa picked up a whole steak and tossed it at M’baku, but the Jibari King ducked just in time causing it to smack Erik on the side of his head.  

Erik’s wild, amber eyes bore a hole through T’Challa’s head. With a blink of an eye a chicken leg socked the king on his forehead. M’baku took this opportunity to duck behind the island, peaking from the side as T’Challa and Erik chase after each other.

T’Challa stormed after Erik, hot on his tracks til he slipped on a pile of spaghetti, green beans tottering out of his large hand as he tumbled to the wood floor. M’baku clasped a hand over his mouth to stifle his laughter but his snort was too loud, exposing his position to Erik.

“You are way too big to be hiding, Bak!” Erik laughed above him as he dumped green beans on M’baku’s head.

Okoye and the rest of the Dora Milaje were lodged outside in the summer heat, placing bets on who would have the better dish. So far, most bets were placed on M’baku. They weren’t so sure about Erik and they knew that their King couldn’t cook a decent meal to save his own life. Their stomachs collectively growled as the mouthwatering aroma whirled through the front yard where they stood, wafting from one nose to the next.

“Linda alpha!” Okoye commanded as she heard a loud commotion from inside the house.

Okoye and Ayo rushed in at the raucous, halting as pieces of chicken, steak and noodles flew in the air. They jumped apart, snickering as a chunk of sirloin flew over their shoulders.

Eventually the three of men ended up on the floor, covered from head to toe in food, laughing so hard ‘til their belly’s ached. It was definitely a sight to see.

“This is the most fun I have had in a long time.” M’baku admitted, shoulders shaking as he burst into guffaws yet again at the spaghetti noodles and garlic bread pieces hanging from Erik’s dreads. Their laughter died down as they sat in a comfortable silence, the soft hum of the refrigerator was all you could hear.

“You guys are the brothers I’ve always wanted.” Erik beamed, clasping their shoulders as he pulled them in for an affable hug.

“Siyakuthanda nomntakwabo.” T’Challa assured, snapping a quick selfie with his kimoyo beads before they helped each other up.

“We should clean this mess up.” T’Challa suggested as he reached for the red broom beside the fridge.

Erik and M’baku gave each other knowing looks right before sprinting out of the kitchen. Leaving T’Challa all by himself to clean up their mess.

“Uyabambelela!” T’Challa called after their retreating backs as he reached for his plate. He sliced a piece of steak and shoved it in his mouth only to spit it out before he could thoroughly chew it.

“Bast! I wouldn’t feed that to Klaw.” T’Challa scowled, dropping the broom before chasing after his brothers.

#I was cracking the fuck up #these big ass menare fools #Anyway...let me know if y’all enjoyed #like and comment if you don’t mind please #t’challa #m’baku #erik killmonger #m’baku one shot #t’challa one shot #erik killmonger oneshot #black panther imagine #black panther fanfiction #black panther one shot #my fics

[iloveyoumorethanyoukno]

I had a picture of you, Ryder Ray, and your mom come up on my iPad as I’m falling asleep. You look so beautiful and Ryder is being silly, cheezin hard for the camera😂 it makes me smile just as big getting to see it on my featured photo icon🙃🙂 Everyday I think of you, working harder to be who I want for us in our relationship and future family. I haven’t stopped thinking about that Lexa💙 it’s always been you. I fucked up, and I know that. I told you how out of it all I was multiple times, and you listened. You are exactly why I want you as my wife right there in that sentence! Because we talk and have been comfortable enough to talk about whatever, absolutely whenever. But when you gave me advice and told me to come home, I didn’t. I was afraid how my family would treat me, because you know how they do already. I was afraid what my friends and your friends would say about me. That I talked all this talk about going to school to be a teacher and now he’s back in the harbor. You could do better Alexa. Instead I fell deeper into my depression, anxiety, and wanted to die. It led to me making poor decisions, hurting those I love, making my issues of mental illness worse, and potentially ruining my future with the love of my life… but I’m not giving up on us Bug💙 I plan to have a lot more featured photos pop up over our lives together💋

[honeyymistt]

hey honeyy! i just wanted to rant for a hot minute simply bc idk how to handle this situation; i'm 20, and will move out soon to go to uni (in october, presumably) and my parents will pay for rent and food, which is v nice of them. but despite their reassurances that they'll pay for it, they are so passive aggressive, especially my mom. she just straight up told me today that "enough is enough" and basically said i need to move out asap bc i'm such a burden on them financially + i'm so spoiled and dumb and don't know how to real world works and she does (which ugh,, not to brag but they're loaded and i feel so heartbroken bc as a child they would spoil us rotten), but now she just wants to kick me out. i know at 20, i'm long overdue for moving out — and i will, soon, in like 2 months — yet my mom acts as if she couldn't wait for me to leave (which, okay, fair. same tbh) but idk what she wants me to do about it rn?? like i'm looking for jobs & am in the process of applying to different jobs, but that's somehow a time consuming process. it's just v stressful bc i feel betrayed, bc they always told me i should focus on school instead of getting a job, and it's my fault for not thinking for myself, but now i have no money saved up and i'll probably work a minimum wage job for the rest of the year every month (and the next years, like my whole uni time which is a-okay, it just stresses me out a bit). i think you're younger than me, so maybe this is very out of line for me to complain to you about?? feel free to just delete this ask, but i wanted to ask if you have any advice on how to deal with "loveless" parents and a dysfunctional family, where respect is requested but you as 'their child' are not brought the same respect bc you're 20 and still living at home. it's sooo funny bc i'm so gullible; my mom used to tell me the exact opposite for years — ‘no, it's fine that you're still living at home with 19’ and now she holds it against me bc she moved out at 17. my dad is also v mentally unstable, he has anger issues and never sees that he behaved wrongly, basically gaslighting me into believing it's all my fault for everything's that happening to me when something goes wrong. idk how to deal w/ this, everyone in this household is toxic and i feel trapped, despite my plans to hustle on the side and earn my own money. i'm stupid for feeling betrayed, but that's how it feels like. i think my mom stopped loving me a long time ago, like until i was 11 she loved me, but then i grew up and developed my own opinions, character etc. i just hate her so much. same with my dad. i hate relying on them for rent though and idk what to do (😭ik, this is a very, very privileged standpoint but idk how to handle all this hate; it's been getting worse these past weeks) — sorry for the lang rant!! 😭✋ hope your life is going great, though <3 -💌

hiii 💌-anon!!! im happy to hear from you :) i’m sorry to hear you are having a hard time 🥺 i'm sending you a virtual hug. i hope it cheers you up! <3

it makes me sad to read that you think that you're long overdue for moving out because you really aren't!! where i live, a lot of people are living at home until they graduate from university (possibly because it is very expensive to live where i live and no 20 year old is able to afford it🥴) but anyways, i actually don't think you're long overdue for moving out. i know that there a bunch of YouTube videos titled "MOVING INTO MY DREAM APARTMENT AT 19!" and yes, it's such a milestone but it's also so unrealistic. YouTube and being an "influencer" in general, pays really really well. not a lot of people are able to do what is "normal" to them. you are right on track! don't worry :)

reading about your parents really made me upset because you don't deserve to be talked to like that at all. a good parent takes care of their kid because they love them. they don't guilt trip them and tell them that they are a financial burden or that they're excited for them to move out. like your mom offers to pay for your rent and food but then tells you that you're a financial burden ?? like ma'am, where is the logic in that 😐 i'm sorry that she makes you feel unloved,, you don't deserve that at all :( i hate that you feel like once you developed your own opinions and character, she started to dislike you. that's what makes you wonderful!! you're a beautiful person, inside and out. don't let her opinions and actions tell you otherwise.

as for not knowing how the real world works, literally same. to be completely honest, i'm probably worse than you 😭 . i think i wrote this in one of my posts about my insecurities but basically i wrote that i don't know anything beyond school. i feel like i've been working so hard on being the "perfect student" that i'm so book smart but when it comes to very basic life skills, i feel like i'm lacking. i feel like i'm unprepared. whenever i tell this to my mom, she tells me that it's okay and that it's her job to take care of me and provide for me. one time she said "you have a whole life ahead of you to learn about taxes and cleaning and bills and finances and cooking. just enjoy the time right now. enjoy your life where it is. you're going to learn all of these skills eventually. the best way to learn them is just to experience life and make mistakes." so listen to my mom and try not to worry!! no one is born knowing how the real world works. you're going to be okay!

i think when it comes to dealing with loveless parents, you make up for it through your other relationships. one of my friends doesn't have the best relationship with her parents and whenever i ask her about it she says, "it's sad that i don't have the love that most people get from their parents but i get so much love from you, my other friends, my boyfriend, my cousins, etc. i know that there are people who care for me. these people are my family." maybe you and your family just need time apart. maybe your absence will make them realize that they didn't really treat you all that well. or maybe you'll realize that you deserve a lot better and that you don't want to be in contact with people who make you feel badly about yourself. time apart will give you time to come to terms with what you need! 🤍 if i were you, i'd get really excited for moving out in october because you're going to be removing yourself from this environment. you won't have to deal with feeling like a burden or dealing with your parents being cold towards you. you're moving out!! this is exciting!!! i'm excited for you!! everything will align and fall perfectly into place, i just know it.

i'll be by your side every step of the way - packing, moving out, moving in, unpacking, and we'll experience the harsh reality of the real world together :) i'm right by your side 🥺🌟🍯🤍

#chat with honeyymistt #you are going to be okay 🤍 #me when i meet your parents: 🥊😡🤬💥🚨💣 #don’t listen to them!!! #listen to my mom instead 🙂 #i hope you’re feeling a little bit better 🥺 and thank you for being patient with my reply #i love talking to you so much 🥺🍯💖