adulthood is the unbearable loneliness of moving forward. it is the sorrowing old man painting by vincent van gogh. it is mourning the thousands of lives you could have led. it is perpetually going through it, that I beg everyone to hold my hand. adulthood is being struck by the feeling that you have somehow left yourself behind.
1. Megan Fernandes, from “Fabric in Tribeca” in Good Boys
2. Albert Camus, A Happy Death
3. Jonas Mekas, As I Was Moving Ahead Occasionally I Saw Brief Glimpses of Beauty
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KING KENNY PLEASE RETURN WITH ANOTHER SONG FEATURING MEGAN AND J. COLE AND PUSHA T LIKE YA'LL THE JUSTICE LEAGUE PLSSSS
i need him to drop i need him on features at least please like... dude.....im dreaing o you dropping music every other night... and also idk about cole and pusha t but let me tell you was i so endeared by the wording of this genius note:
"Kendrick is fond of Megan" im. hes such a king its killing me. hopefully one ONE collab im not asking for much A SINGLE collab please please please
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i think one of the reasons i love betty so much is that her arc kind of reminds me of the age of innocence like the idea of a repressed unhappy character who's fundamental unhappiness is caused by the rigid societal norms that they're forced to conform to, only for those norms to crumble and disappear once the character's life is already ruined. what's even sadder about betty is that every time she goes to someone for help (her therapist, her husband, glen bishop) they reinforce the idea that her only purpose in life is being a housewife and stay at home mother, the root of her misery. it's interesting because betty is widely characterized as being old-fashioned, rigid, and obsessed with appearance. all these things are true, but people seem to understand these traits as bearing the responsibility of her unhappiness rather than being symptomatic of them. betty clings to old-fashioned gendered expectations of womanhood because it validates her own miserable existence, she's resistant to change because she doesn't believe it will improve her circumstances, and her obsession with making everything look nice and pretty is a distraction from the gaping emptiness of her relationships. i don't think the tragedy of betty's character comes from a refusal to change with the times, i think it comes from preparing her whole life to play a role she hated, only for the significance of that role to be wiped out in the space of her lifetime, leaving her with nowhere else to go.
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JIMMY NEUTRON REVIVAL PROJECT: UPDATE 33
Hi folks.
I wanted to take some serious time to discuss the events from December in this blog so that everyone, cast included, can better understand my situation and my circumstances.
L.A. COMIC CON AND MY 2022 LIFE
Before I get to the L.A. Comic-Con itself, let me discuss my 2022 in a nutshell.
In April of 2022, I developed a weird tiredness feeling that I have had for many months. I had been in and out of doctor’s offices trying to figure out what it is and was put on a waiting list for an Endocrinologist who will see me on March 9th. I also suffer from depression which has plagued my personal life for many years. I have been seeking help through a talk therapist and a medication therapist who, try as they might, haven’t been able to do too much. But I am now on a medication (Wellbutrin 300mg) that has given me a little bit of my energy back which is something. However, the amount of money I have had to fork over for these visits has been anything but cheap. My insurance covers a lot of it, but the rest of the cost is up to me.
Additionally, I had been mulling over the prospect of returning to school. My current degree wasn’t helping me as far as my career prospects were concerned and I wanted to work on a business degree to improve my chances of landing a fulfilling career. As I was a gig worker and part-time online test scorer, I didn’t have a lot of money. And at the time, I had made zero plans to make any trips for the year or do anything else that would set me back financially. So, I made the decision to take the plunge and I applied to college. I was accepted and began my studies online in the fall of 2022. I spent close to $7000 on my first semester and the spring semester so far has been roughly the same, give or take a few hundred dollars.
Now, let’s go back in time to the Jimmy Neutron panel at L.A. Comic-Con which had been formally announced on October 28th. This gave me barely a month to prepare. I was scrambling to find low-cost airfare, a reasonably-priced hotel, and transportation. I did my due diligence and researched every site I could, including popular sites like Orbitz and Expedia. The airfare was going to set me back almost $500 ($400 + fees). I was able to find a hotel on the L.A. Comic-Con website, but it would have been about $700-$800 plus a large hospitality tax. The one good thing about it is that it was on the same street as the convention center and within walking distance. Then came the dilemma of finding a cab or an Uber/Lyft to get me from the airport to the hotel and the hotel back to the airport, which would have been at least $50-$75 both ways. Add food, money for souvenirs, the actual cost of two badges for the show plus fees since I would have attended 2 out of the 3 days, plus autographs and it was going to cost me close to $2000.
By the time I had the knowledge that a reunion panel was happening, $7000 was already gone due to school. I did not have enough discretionary funds I could use as far as taking any kind of a trip was concerned.
I am in the lower-income bracket along with so many other millennials. Some of us got lucky and found good careers while others like myself have had to struggle. There are probably more articles on the Internet about the struggles many of us millennials have went through than I can count. For people like me, life has been tough.
Because I am in the low-income bracket, I have to budget a lot of the things that I do. School was a major cost factor as far as my budget for 2022 was concerned, and I knew that any little bit of money I did have left would have to go to the other bills and responsibilities I must pay for each month.
In the end, after crunching the numbers, I did not have the $2000 I would need to make the journey out to the convention, and I had to make the difficult decision of informing all of my followers that I would not be able to attend. This broke my heart more than anyone could possibly realize. I was extremely upset and sad about it.
I decided to take the initiative to finish the petition so that it could be displayed at the show if the cast wished. I spent several weeks in about 3-4 settings working 3 hours at a time to edit the fake names and duplicate signatures out of the petition as well as the odd comments and duplicate comments on the petition comment page. On November 27th, at midnight, I finished everything and sent it off to the organizer of the panel and that was that.
There were a couple of people who thought that I was going to attend which caused quite a bit of confusion. I did my best to try to clear up any misunderstandings. Even though I did explain that I wasn’t coming on my socials, I know not everyone sees these posts which I totally understand.
The weekend of the show was extremely difficult. It got to a point where I had to shut my notifications off on social media so that the pictures and other notifications bombarding me about the show wouldn’t send me spiraling into a deeper state of depression. Unfortunately, I fell apart. I had been able to keep it together for so long, but the weekend of the show, I was no longer able to remain that stoic person I always try to be. I broke down several times and felt absolutely awful. I have had many days of sleepless nights and still feel absolutely guilty. I felt like I had let people down and it hurt like hell.
While I hope this is not a one-time deal, if it ends up being that way and I missed out, all I can say is I am sorry. I am sorry that the funds were not there for me to attend. This was something that I wanted to do and had I had more advance notice I would have moved mountains to try to get the money. I wish I was one of those people who could drop everything to do something like this. But unfortunately, I am not.
In order for me to attend anything like this in the future, should that happen, I would need advance notice that is more than a month, so I have the time to prepare. Otherwise, it will be hard for me to get a plan together along with the proper funding.
Also, I will try to set aside a savings account for trips so I can be a little better prepared in this way.
I hope that this explanation is helpful to my followers, the cast, or anyone else who may be reading this.
Thank you all for your understanding.
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6, 9, 14!
6. Episode of tv or webisode that defined the year for you?
you already know it's iwtv episode 1 bestie!!!!! literally unmatched, episode of all time
9. Best month for you this year?
is it pathetic if i say october or november because that's when iwtv aired and i started meeting all of you lovely people
14. Favorite book you read this year?
either red white and royal blue by casey mcquiston or ninth house by leigh bardugo!!
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