#my photoshop skills are zero

[lashton-is-my-drug]

The first frames of “Older” mv are Luke’s side profile. Matches perfectly with Ash’s dancing partner. This video is said to be Ash’s story… but with who?

#side profile #lashton #lashton is real #older #older mv #the fact that she’s blonde plus the way he matched up so easily #lashton breakdown #5sos #5 seconds of summer #ashton irwin #ashton 5sos #luke hemmings #luke 5sos #ashton fletcher irwin #luke robert hemmings #closeting #lashton manip #but didn’t have to work hard to make it a manip #my photoshop skills are zero #ash is telling their story #because luke can’t #other than the few seconds of dark silhouette from behind #lashton hemwin #2022 #lgbt #lgbt 🏳️‍🌈 #gay #luke and ashton #lgbtq #lgbtpeople

[pequodyaoi]

inspired by this

#a bit of a discord server inside joke but im unironically so happy with this #putting my photoshop skills to good use #mgs #big boss #the fucking ground zeroes bibo face

[melymigo]

Secret identities never work!

I'm posting an old 'poster' I did of Lyla for homework in my first year of college. I was so obsessed with Spider-Man 2099 at that time. I think I did one of Miguel too. But I cannot find it. Anyway, I watched Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse, and my love and obsession for Miguel O'Hara came back.

#spider man: across the spider verse #Lyla #LYrate lifeform approximation #spider man 2099 #miguel o'hara #my photoshop and illustration skills were zero and still zero LMAO #Miguel yo te sigo amando desde la primera vez que te vi

[wearejericho]

//hi yes hello

does anybody know anyone that makes rp blog promos that accept U.S. dollars?? 👀

#i want a promo but my photoshop skills are ZERO

[bandaidpennylane]

Who the hell does this raging lunatic think she is? Does she think she owns Pamela Courson? That she is the only one who has a right to post her? Get outta here! What is it about people writing books about Pam that makes them go fucking bonkers? First Patricia Butler. That one wrote Angels Dance Angels Die. Now we have this unhinged lunatic, who named her spider Pamela. Should we be so surprised? 🤦‍♀️

There's a reason why your Facebook page is a flop. 4 thousand followers after 15-20 years of "research." 🤭 You should have never abandoned your Tumblr page. 🤷‍♀️ It was a bit more successful with followers. But seriously lady, being an unhinged lunatic for 20 years doesn't help your reputation. How's that book going? Still can't get any publisher to publish it huh. 🤭 People don't like you Raeanne. This goes way back to the years on the Lizard Lounge where you attacked everyone. You were as crazy then as you are now. The only reason you have 4,000 Facebook followers is because people are interested in the photos you post. They don't follow you because they like you. In actuality, your followers despise you. Even the people who kiss your ass. If only you knew what they say behind your back.🤭 It shouldn't come to you as a surprise. You caused the divide and hatred. Your vitriol over the years has damaged Pamela's memory. You hold pictures hostage. You tag pictures you don't own. But you paid $900 for them! Of course you own them! That's not how it works and you know that's not how it works! You buy prints. Not the ownership of those photos! I could buy those same photos for $400-$900. The difference is I wouldn't tag them like you do because I'm not an asshole like you. The way you use to tag the Themis photos was gross. You absolute lunatic. Then you have a fit when people point out your behavior! 20 years! 20 fucking years Raeanne! Waaaah! I'm mad! You post my photos! Waaah you post ugly photoshops! Waaaah! I'm going to close my page! 🙄 Please do. Close it. Once and for all just close it. If it brings you peace of mind, just fucking close it. The way you rage about photoshopped photos of Pam but you posted a whole ass ridiculous set of AI images of her. 🤔 Guess what that makes you? A hypocrite with zero AI skills. 🤷‍♀️ I doubt you will close your page permanently. You love the ass kissing too much to quit it, even if it's coming from people who despise you. This is like the 10th time you quit. 🤭 But seriously lady, get some real help. Stop raging online and attacking other Pam fans. Do you know how pathetic you come across? 20 years of this vitriolic behavior. Close your page and self publish that stupid book of yours. Enough is enough!

A humorous and ironic update. Raeanne replied to a follower who basically called her out for her shitty AI Pam pictures. 😁🤌

It looks like Raeanne deleted some of Melissa's comments leaving just this one. I don't know who you are Melissa Owens but thank you. The hypocrisy and unhinged audacity coming from this bitch. Thank you!

It's been 48 hours and this bitch hasn't deleted her page. Of course she hasn't. 🥱

Yet another update! It gets more and more ridiculously entitled the more she speaks out. We are brats for posting photos of Pam!!! How dare other writers don't credit them!!!! They are ripping them off! How dare them!!! We are an epidemic of entitled brats!!! 😁🤭😄

Go fuck yourself Raeanne. You been eating out of your own ass for far too long. You have crossed every line of decency. Get help you crazy bitch! 🫣

#pamela courson #jim morrison #This bitch has had it coming for 20 years

[qqueenofhades]

coming from one of those "born in mid 2000s and is now suddenly an adult, making everyone feel old," people, do you have any resources to learn how to bullshit your way through getting a job with zero experience. cause i cant even put like "babysitting" or anything since covid prevented literally any teenage-typical jobs and i kinda dont know what to put on a resume beyond the university im currently attending and the high school i graduated from. and they still dont teach you this in school even though we've complained for years 😭

Okay my chilluns, listen up. This is how to bullshit your way into a basic 1-page resume even if you think you have absolutely dum-dum-diddlysquat to put on it. I completely feel you, as it's hard as hell to get a job even in the ordinary course of things, and especially when everything seems to want 10 years of experience and a bachelor's degree (and still pays like shit). But you gotta be persistent anyway. So here follows the step-by-step guide of How To Resume:

Open a new Word (or other word-processing software of your choice) document.

Pick a nice, professional-looking font (for the love of God, no Comic Sans). Times New Roman is fine; you don't have to overthink it. My own CV is currently in Perpetua, because it's a nice serif that looks crisp and a little different, but it is still clean and readable. Garamond or Cambria or other starter typefaces are fine too. Make sure it is the right size, usually around 12pt.

Put your full name at the top, centered, in BOLD CAPITALS. Increase the typeface size a few more points on this, to make it stand out and to make it take up space.

Underneath this, in regular-sized text, put your contact information: mailing address if you're comfortable sharing it, or if not, at least your phone number and email address. Use a school email if you have it, and not some weird/in-jokey personal email.

Start a new paragraph. In a slightly smaller font (italic if you want to make it look classy) write a few words about yourself. This should be something like I am a [Major] student at [University] looking for a part-time, entry-level position in [sales, retail, office, etc]. A [year] graduate of [High School] in [City, State], I am [prompt, reliable, detail-oriented, mature, friendly, etc] and a hard worker who is eager to gain experience and positively contribute to your business.

Start a new paragraph. Change the alignment from Center to Left. Create a new heading in bold underline labeled Education.

Under this, fill in your education (college first, followed by high school). Include the institution name, city, and state, the year you graduated or expect to graduate, any honors or awards, any extracurriculars, any grade-point averages if they're good (i.e. 3.0 and above), and your expected major in college.

Start a new paragraph. Create another heading: Experience.

This is where you put absolutely anything you can think of (in chronological order, most recent first and counting backward). Did you volunteer for something ever in your life? Put it down! (Title of work, dates, location, brief description of work). Did you do yard work for someone for a weekend? Put it down! Were you (or are you) part of a student club or organization in high school or university? Have you organized or taken part in any local initiatives in your community or neighborhood? Put it down! Basically, absolutely any kind of work, paid or unpaid, that might be relevant, regardless of how long it was or when it took place.

Under that, put the new heading/paragraph Skills and Interests.

Have you worked with Microsoft Word, Outlook, PowerPoint, Adobe, Photoshop? Put it down! People love that shit! Do you use social media and/or know how to work it better than the average grandma? Put 'er down! You get the idea. Think of anything in your daily life that can be put in Job Language and then see if you can do that. You are in university; do you have any projects, papers, or other things that you're proud of? Have you successfully managed a (gasp) group project? Do you make any kind of art? Are you a registered voter who has taken part in civic/political organizations, drives, or events? (If not, REGISTER TO VOTE! This is your angry grandmother speaking). All of that can go down. Even if it's not job experience per se, it's life experience and shows that you are someone who is engaged with the world and working to gain more.

Last paragraph and heading: References. Ask a few trusted adults who know you well and aren't related to you, such as a favorite high school teacher or a university faculty member/degree advisor, if they'd be willing to serve as referees. Put down their full names, titles/place of work, email addresses, and phone numbers.

Voila! You have a full page resume, probably even a little more if you're lucky. Proofread, make sure the spacing is even and the alignment is right, it doesn't look weird, the text is a consistent size, it's all the same color, there are no glaring typos or grammatical errors, etc. etc. Save it as a PDF.

Boom. Done. You are now a Job Hunting Maestro.

If you get an interview, you don't need to pretend that you have tons of experience or that you're something you're not, but you can present what you ARE in a positive light anyway. Don't apologize for yourself or play yourself down pre-emptively; be confident about yourself and what you can offer. You're a college kid looking for your first part-time job, COVID prevented you from a lot of normal teenage work experience, you're willing to work hard and learn new things. Here's your resume. What would be a good time to talk again.

Good luck! I believe in you.

#anonymous #ask #how to adult #how to make a resume

[foxyanon]

👋 the reason I'm so upset is that a mutual sent me a screenshot of @lya-dustin @valeskafics @ewanmitchellcrumbs and others including you dissing somebody that is an Uthred cosplayer and saying they're a creep for choosing that character. This reflects really badly on Alex as he gets a lot of flack already on RL from people who slag him off for having long hair and quoting 'destiny is all' at him every five minutes in a high pitched voice. Uthred is not Alex even as Alex is Uthred.

Ewan is a very private person OK - but his sexuality is obvious to see, he personally feels he owes it to nobody to discuss it or claim publicly when it's already out there. He feels it's best to let people draw their own conclusions. He doesn't like personal photographs being shared online like the rest of the cast do so this has to be respected. But when Alex was filming TLK, Ewan spent a lot of time with the cast and our family on occasion. He came to my wedding 😊 and he was on these hikes too! 🤭🤫 He's an awesome guy and we are all so proud of his work on HoTD

But y'all just seem to treat Alex and his colleagues as pieces of meat. I get this is a private online space but as I got a pedicure in Primrose I was browsing your blogs and seen that image disrespecting Arnas and his genitals. Like this is clearly photoshopped for sick kicks. I'm pretty sure if someone did this to Millie there would be a huge outcry but because it's Arnas our fave himbo then it's okay. Arnas is such a lovely man and hugely underrated so he doesn't deserve this molestation

I’m going to say this one last time, then we are putting this to rest.

1. I never dissed the cosplayer. I never dissed Alex. I gave my opinion on a FICTIONAL CHARACTER. If you have seen the screenshots, you would know I was talking about the CHARACTER and not the ACTOR. I think Alex is a great actor and he did his job well. He properly played a CHARACTER who was not likable 100% of the time, which is a testament to his skill as an ACTOR.

2. MY PAGE IS NOT THE PLACE TO DISCUSS THE PERSONAL LIVES OF THESE ACTORS! I don’t care that you think you’re Alex’s cousin and friends with Ewan, I will tolerate absolutely ZERO comment on any actors personal life. Full offense, if you were actually his friend, you’d know he values his privacy and you wouldn’t be making comments on it.

3. Yes, I make thirsty ass comments about pretty people. Scroll through my page, you’ll see me making a comment about how Gwendolyn Christie is a literal goddess and I want her to step on me. At no point did I disrespect any of them, I just made a thirsty ass comment and let it lie. I’ve personally never met Arnas, but those that have said he’s a lovely person and I believe it.

You coming out the side of your neck at me, telling me to eat shit over my opinion of a fictional character because YOU can’t separate the actor from the role is not my problem. This is a conversation that should’ve happened in private, but you chose to insult me and others instead.

Have the day you deserve, Anon.

[vampiresinforks]

making gifs - where to start

first up - source material and software downloads:

I recently got new versions of the twilight saga movies from Pahe, I went for the Bluray 2160p or 1080p whenever I could.

Use KMPlayer 64x to play and cap the movies.

You can get software like Photoshop from the various guides and websites suggested in this beautiful subreddit. This website is probably most user friendly.

1. how to make gifs?

This video tutorial is your most basic, bare-bone starting point. Grab a video you like, download KM player and get started.

2. adding a coloring

A coloring is what you add to your gifs to either color-correct them and make them look normal (looking at you - twilight blue tint) or to change the color palette for personal taste/visual effects.

Colorings usually come in the form of PSDs, as a pack of adjustment layers that has been saved in .psd format and uploaded for other people to download and use. Seldom, they come in the form of ACTIONs, as pre-recorded steps which will replicate on your project once you open the action in your Photoshop and activate it by hitting the "play" button.

Basic gif and coloring skills are all you need for your first gifs.

3. sharpening

Once you know your way around photoshop you can try your hand at sharpening. This is a tutorial on how to sharpen all layers at once "by hand". And some more advanced sharpening methods.

Nowadays, most people just record their usual sharpening steps and save them as actions. Or they use other people's actions. Here is a tutorial on how to use a sharpening action you've downloaded.

Here are a few more sharpening action sets you can use: x - x

4. adding text to gifs

This is my giffing arch nemesis so I'll just drop this tutorial here with zero explanation, y'all enjoy.

5. having fun with colors

This isn't something I do often so again, I'm just dropping this tutorial here with no explanation. But tldr gradient fill in combination with the right layer blending mode is your best friend whenever you want to add gradients, colors, colorful text, color changing text, aka all the fun stuff.

6. having fun with shapes

Now this is my bestie because where I struggle with colors and text I find messing with shapes comparatively easy. You can come across "gif templates" on tumblr fairly easily or make up your own shapes if you feel like it. Just make sure to keep it at a width of 540px total (each space between each gif should be 4px) and a height of I believe 750px total (but don't quote me on that last number).

This is a basic tutorial on how to plop two gifs into one canvas. The most important thing here is that you make sure that the number of frames or the lenght of the smart object is the same. Other than that you can go wild with this.

7. gif saving settings

@anue here on tumblr had THE BEST explanation for the different gif saving settings but went private and I'll legit never stop mourning that 💔

here are some other tutorials that attempt to explain the saving settings: one - two - three - four

most people roll with these settings but you're always welcome to adjust them for different gif sets and source videos. not every source video will like the same save settings (anime vs. disney vs. marvel action movie vs. snail documentary).

#tumblr #gif #gifs #gif tutorial #gif tutorials #* #I hope whoever comes across this finds it useful #tutorial

[loftec]

Weekly tag Wednesday Thursday part 2

Hello beautiful kittens! 🐈‍⬛ Today’s tag game is about our wonderful fandom 😍

Thank you for the tags, @deedala and @wehangout! <3

How did you get into the fandom? 

I was watching gay compilation videos on YouTube and found the Gallavich season 1-4 video, then watched too many seasons of Shameless UK (because I didn't have access to US) then watched five seasons of Shameless US, then spent 3 months reading the whole tag on AO3.

How long have you been here?

Since... 2015?

What’s the first fandom channel you found? (Youtube, Reddit, Tumblr, Insta, Twitter, FB, other?)

I would say AO3, because I was on there reading people's fics for a long time before I started following their links to tumblr.

What’s your favourite now? 

Tumblr!

Which mutual have you known the longest in the fandom?

@the-rat-wins for sure, but also @wideblueskies @damnnmilkovich @grumblesandmumbles @beckyharvey29 @mimilaroo and a few others that aren't really active anymore

Which tumblerino’s did you have your first fandom crush(es) on and want to get to know?

I'm so bad at like, retaining what I thought of people before I get to know them? But I'm pretty sure I got @the-rat-wins to follow me back by photoshopping a picture of Cam and Noel at an event together? I absolutely remember thinking I wanted to be friends and what makes better friends than a creepy little photo manip gift?

First Gallavich fan fic you read (or that blew you away that you remember)

I have no idea, I read so much fic. Here are my old rec rambles.

First Fan art that blew your mind? 

Most likely @luluxa 's art of Mickey...

Fanfic trope that you were sure wasn’t for you but now you low key (or high key) love?

Not sure if there is one, I have tried most tropes just to check them out, and I have liked tropes I don't normally like when it's just the once and it's done in some interesting or particularly skillful way, but I don't think I've ever done a 180 on something? I suppose! I usually start out only reading canon compliant fic when I'm first entering a fandom. Then I will either run out of steam or start reading AU, or fully just transition to only reading AU (which is what happened with Shameless, more or less). So I normally start out not liking AUs and then given enough time and steam, I will make AUs my whole personality.

What surprised you most about this fandom?

I'm really surprised by what it has become, it's so nice to see all the crafts and community building that's going on here every week, and how nice and drama free (from my vantage point anyway) it has become, in the last few years. I'm not very good at participating, but I really want to because it feels like such an open and welcoming and community-focused space.

Moment in the show (or YT vids if you’re one of those) that you fell in hyperfixation with Gallavich?

I had zero context for this scene when I first saw it, but oh. My god.

Ian or Mickey?

Uuuuuuh I mean. Ian.

Which Gallagher or Milkovich are you? 

Probably Liam haha?

Do you want to answer some q:s? Consider yourself tagged!

[bestgenshinnpc2024]

Here are the placements (ft. my zero photoshop skills)!

Congratulation to Jeht for the title of best Genshin Impact NPC, Karkata for second and Dunyarzad for third!

#genshin impact #karkata #dunyarzad #jeht #all three are from sumeru #no npc from mond made it past second round #interesting

[yesloulou]

I was gonna do a 1 year anniversary of making my first gif but totally forgot on the day of sooo here is a happy 1.025 years anniversary instead!!

Making gifs on here has been both very fun and very weird. fun bc (i mean obviously). weird bc this is pretty much the first time I've ever tried to acquire a skill that doesn't necessarily bring 💸 real world ✨ value, like at all. (come to think of it photoshop actually costs me thirty bucks a month...) but then I've also gotten so so much from this experience. I quit a very high stress job bc I realized I didn't have to suffer to create something of value; and i also (this is silly but it kinda never occurred to me before lmao) realized that what I feel about a job/career actually matters. just like making gifs is literally zero fun if I’m not doing it for myself, even if it got thousands of notes. you could get burned out from even something like this. I’d also never really thought of myself as a creative person before but I'm now able to ✨ enjoy ✨ creativity. which i think ultimately is a matter of taking things on faith, letting creativity take u wherever it wants to go, etc etc. ohh and i used to get very easily frustrated whenever im not immediately good at something, I still kinda do, but making gifs is such a practice makes progress thing that i think it helped a lot with that too.

anyways. i've had sooo much fun here and ty for all the support and for liking my stuff!! i can't believe i've been here for more than a year now (i still feel like i just got here sometimes lol).

#* #txt

[dear-mrs-otome]

I have zero photoshop skills, but I wanted to get a better view of the 'whole'...even if my scaling sucks

#i see what looks like a compass on one #and an anchor on the other boyo #nautical men? #*ears perked up*

[dearfuturehusbandblog]

Radical Honesty

Dear Future Husband,

I’ve had this idea for several years now that people hide too much when it comes to dating and that we need a really radical shift in dating style. Instead of making up fluff and putting our best foot forward, maybe we should just put all our cards on the table and find someone who is ok managing that hand. 

So, with that in mind, I have something to confess... 

I’ve conducted a “social experiment” on one of the popular frum dating sites. I signed up with three different accounts: 

1. An actual account for me.* This was set up with a photo of me that is password protected and a bio that reflected who I am and had a lot of details without being overwhelming. 

2. A fake girl account that was quite different from mine and absurd too. The profile picture was originally a picture of me that I photoshopped the heck out of and then blurred it a bit, before shrinking it down to a small size so when the website enlarged it again it would look distorted. The text for each of the paragraphs was loaded with typos and made to sound stupid and artificial. 

3. An account for a fake guy with no photo or details at all. It’s basically a blank profile. This was primarily to see how my “competition” presented themselves and what kind of profiles they write so I could tailor mine to stand out. 

The goal of this experiment was to see what kind of responses these differing accounts would get from the dating public. 

Here’s what’s interesting: 

I set up the accounts when I was in my 20s and I’m in my 30s now. Pretty much from day 1, my actual account received a ton of messages from guys in their 40s, 50s, and 60s (more often that not, divorced).  Some of the younger guys who messaged me had ZERO social skills. Most of them disregarded all the details I put in the profile as though they didn’t even read it. 

The fake girl account got more messages from guys my age, half of them telling me I looked beautiful despite the photo looking completely demented and barely like a person at all. 

And the fake guy account got several messages from girls too, who wanted to know about him despite all signs that the profile is from someone uninterested in participating in the whole dating thing. 

I left the two fake accounts as is, but tried adjusting my real one several times, to try and garner appropriate responses from suitors. None of it worked. 

I made it sound lighthearted and that didn’t help. 

I made it sound serious and that didn’t help. 

I filled it with jokes and that didn’t help. 

I put bullet points for things I’m absolutely not interested in and that didn’t help. 

It just seemed like no matter what I did, nobody read it. 

And I’d like to chock that up to the fact that I didn’t have a visible profile picture, but neither did the fake guy account and that got messages from girls. Although, that could just be a difference between the sexes. 

But oddly, the fake girl account kept getting message requests. Some were definitely from older and creepy guys, but there were quite a few young guys there too. Maybe guys like bimbos who only want them for their money? 

I know I’m not in a place to get married at the moment, but I do still believe in “you never know” and “God works in mysterious ways” so I do keep my options open despite having little hope I’ll ever be a marriage person. But at the same time, I wanted the message requests to stop, so I changed my profile and went with the insane radical honesty thing. 

I obviously couldn’t put everything about me, but I FILLED that profile to the max. And I’ll share it with you here, Future Husband, because this is all stuff you’ll need to know too. I’m putting it behind a Keep Reading bar because it’s loooooong and I’m going to try being considerate of the like two readers I have here by not completely stealing their feed. But who knows, maybe you’ll read it and decide that my baggage is stuff you can handle (if you haven’t read everything in this blog up until this point....)

Without further ado: My Radical Honesty Dating Profile

-LivelyHeart

ABOUT ME

Hi there! Thanks for checking out my profile. I've had the same stupid "About Me" for a while, so even though I don't come on here that often, I've decided to change things up. I don’t remember when I last updated my profile, but let’s just assume it was 2018 or earlier. I think it wouldn’t be too surprising to hear that some things have changed in the interim. I mean, for one, the pandemic really did a number on people…

One of the things that's changed for me is that I've decided to be a bit bolder in personality and stop caring so much what people think about me. This is a work in progress and I do still care a lot what people think, but I figured rewriting this "essay" could be a large step in the direction of that kind of personal freedom. So, let me tell you some important things about me. I talk (a lot), I write (a lot), I overthink (a lot), and I over-explain (a lot). And the guy I marry will have to be able to not only handle that, but appreciate it too. I believe I'm a better writer than orator, so using that medium, I'm about to present you with probably the longest profile you'll ever read on a dating site (I mean, this section is titled "Essays"...). So strap in, bucko, it’s gonna’ be a wild one!

I tend to have strong views on things. Some might even say... polarizing. And I think it comes off as somewhat unexpected because I don't really look like the type of person who would have such strong opinions on things. In most company I'm pretty smiley and lighthearted and agreeable, but I'll get into that a bit later. I'm also generally a socially observant person and try to read the room and not share certain things I think/feel/believe with certain people because I know they won’t go over well. That being said, considering I don’t know who you (the reader) are, and you’re essentially entering my domain by reading any of this, I'm sharing some of these ideas freely and it's up to you whether or not you want to accept them. No pressure!

Let’s start here: I think the modern shidduch system is an absolute joke. (Like I said, some polarizing views.) I truly despise the way modern shadchanas is a “job” that expects large payments in return for a service. I think it goes against the entire idea of what shadchanas is supposed to be - the shadchan is the vessel through which Hashem makes the pairings. Yes, they deserve compensation for having done so, but the fees that are presented to new couples for the little work some of these shadchanim actually do is despicable. I think that making it a job has turned it from pairing up people with true relationship potential to manipulating couples together for the sake of the shadchanas gelt. As a friend who had a broken engagement said to me, “the shadchanim are more interested in making weddings than making marriages." And from what I’ve seen, that is succinctly accurate. The amount of lying and manipulating I’ve seen to get couples who are unsure of themselves and each other together is such a slap in the face to these individuals, and in so many cases is setting them up for dysfunction, devastation and divorce. It’s no wonder the divorce rate in the frum world is on the rise. It’s unconscionable and completely alst-Torah.

Having a negative view on the current system of dating won’t make me many friends, so I don’t share that opinion with many, but I think when it comes to these dating profiles we need to stop being so “open” to everyone and start gatekeeping a bit more. Statistically we’re all really looking for a needle in a haystack and it’s not worth our time or energy to not be clear about who we are from the get-go. I could be wrong though, and feel free to tell me if you believe I am, as I’d be truly curious to hear your perspective on this. But when you take the time to narrow the field from 8B people on planet earth, to approx. 15M Jews, to the 50% which is the gender you’re seeking in a partner, to the 1/3 of that group that identifies as Orthodox, to the 75% Ashkenaz or 25% Sephardi, to the age range, relationship status, mentally healthy, same hashkafah and value system, and ensure you speak the same language…. You end up with a pool of like 100 people from which to find a possible mate. Add in the family dynamics, economics, physical chemistry, emotional and temperamental compatibility…. We’re all searching for that 1 in a million person. Almost literally.

And yet, so many of the profiles I see on here say the same benign things. “I’m a nice person with a sense of humor and Torah is important to me. I’m interested in sports and working out. I’m looking for a girl who is sweet and family oriented, beautiful inside and out.” I mean, seriously? “A sense of humor” can mean so many things. Being “nice” should be standard, not a personality trait. If your only interest is sports.... I'm not even going to get into that here. And I’m pretty sure nobody is looking for a girl who’s rude, hates children, and is ugly to look at. Either you’re all getting dating profile advice from the same person or you’re all just super unoriginal. (Obvs not all, as there are some more unique profiles than that, this is just a generalization of the grand majority I've read) And maybe we're all somewhat unoriginal... but I'm trying something new here. When I read a profile, I want to get a real sense of a person’s personality. And I think when you read mine you should get a real sense of who I am too. Because when it comes to narrowing the field to find your bashert you shouldn’t have to waste time talking to a hundred girls either, just to find out you're so incompatible that if you'd known certain things to begin with, you wouldn't have even taken the time.

So, in the spirit of gatekeeping, let me tell you all the reasons you shouldn’t reach out to me: • I don’t know if I can have kids. I’m a firm believer that everything happens for a reason, even if it sucks and I hate it. I also know a woman who was told she could never have kids and went on to have like 13, so it’s truly all in Hashem’s hands. But I can’t in good conscience get into a relationship with someone who doesn’t know that off the bat, especially when having an heir is his mitzvah, not mine, no matter how much I desire the same thing. If you’re open to exploring a relationship where natural children may not be a possibility, feel free to read on. If that uncertainty is a deal-breaker: you’re welcome. Have a nice day and hatzlacha on your dating journey! • My parents are divorced. I know that shouldn’t matter, but it does. Statistically, children of divorce are most likely to head for divorce themselves, because the home they grew up in didn’t have healthy interpersonal dynamics. I mean, it makes sense, no? And I’m fully aware there were and still are major communication problems in my family that plague me to this day. My “normal” isn’t… normal. At the same time, I think couples therapy can be extremely helpful in these types of circumstances and I’m open to exploring healthy relationship dynamics with someone I can fully trust. But if you think that kind of work and the possible struggles that can come along with that is more than you can handle: you’re welcome. Have a nice day and hatzlacha on your dating journey! • I have a lot of baggage from my childhood (see parental divorce above). There’s a lot of emotional stuff I still have to work through and in the right time with the right people and the right space, I’ll be able to sort through it. I’m upbeat and positive in most company, I can be goofy and wacky and have been told I should be a standup comedian (nooooot gonna' happen... 😅), I see silver linings and can be dan lekaf zechus in most situations, but my natural baseline is super negative, so even when I’m at my highest, I’m still below most peoples’ averages. Considering the childhood I’ve touched on above and the fact that anxiety and depression are part of my genetic makeup, that’s not much of a surprise. But the person I spend the rest of my life with has to know that these dichotomous traits are both part of who I am. If that’s not something you can handle: you’re welcome. Have a nice day and hatzlacha on your dating journey! • I think our food is trying to kill us. (Remember when I said polarizing views?) It may sound like some kind of conspiracy theory, but between the way we’ve destroyed the American soil (I mean, global soil really, but American in particular since that's where I'm living) and the poisonous additives in most foods today that are actually illegal in other countries... I think even the healthy food isn’t really so good for us anymore. I'm pretty sure I have celiac. Or it might be a sensitivity that’s specific to American produce. Unfortunately I went off of gluten before I could be tested for celiac, but even oat challah in the US bothers me more than oat challah I’ve eaten in Israel with the exact same recipe. I want to raise my children without processed sugar, disastrous oils (cottonseed, anyone?) and food dyes, which means keeping a pretty natural pantry and fridge. That isn’t to say that some healthy “junk” food can’t be a part of our every day lives, but unless you already eat healthfully, it would mean a major overhaul of your diet and a lot of people aren’t ok with that. If you’re not ok with that: you’re welcome. Have a nice day and hatzlacha on your dating journey! • I’m more of a follower than a leader. Despite having really strong opinions and my comedic stylings, I hate being the center of attention and drawing eyes, so I’m more likely to shut my mouth and not speak up when I disagree with something. My greatest ambition when I was growing up was to just be normal and fit in, because there was so much turmoil in my life and I felt like a weirdo all the time. With the right people, like some of my friends, I’m able to be spontaneous and bolder in personality, but in my everyday life I get talked over and looked over, and although I hate it, I’d so much rather that than ruffle feathers. Part of that comes from trying to be the peacekeeper and not draw the ire of whoever was most upset/frustrated in my childhood home, and I’d say it’s almost to my own detriment as an adult because I don’t know how to speak up for myself when things are problematic. Even when things are wrong or I’m in pain, I keep it all inside and “go with the flow” until I’ve distracted myself sufficiently to not care about what’s wrong. Obviously when it comes to being in an open and honest intimate relationship with someone, this can’t be the case. Which means there’s a lot of growth that has to happen for me to get over this major hump. Again, if you’re not ok with working through stuff like that: you’re welcome. Have a nice day and hatzlacha on your dating journey! • I’m not a shul person. I wasn’t raised by a mother who went to shul regularly and when I did attend with my father when I was little, he didn’t exactly explain what it was we were doing or saying at certain parts, so as an adult, I still don’t know “the ways of shul." In addition to that, I’ve found very few shuls in my life that fit my belief of what a shul should be. The women chatting and hugging each other while the men are on the other side of the mechitza, merely feet away, trying to say kaddish or shemone esrei; some of the men wandering around in circles and trying to look through the mechitza or shlepping a kvetching baby around during davening, the children running in and out shrieking and laughing and crying; the stares from people who are just completely uncouth; the shoving and gluttony at the kiddushes… It’s all just so unappealing to me. If the shul is supposed to be our own mini Bais Hamikdash, our community Temple of God… we’re doing a really horrible job with it. (Strong opinions, remember?) So… if you expect your wife to be with you in shul every single Shabbos and for every single holiday/event, chances are I’m not the one for you, and now you know, so: you’re welcome. Have a nice day and hatzlacha on your dating journey! • I'm not an athletic person at all. I was born with feet problems and over the years have injured both a knee and an ankle that I probably should have gotten physical therapy for, but it was never prescribed. This makes most forms of exercise incredibly difficult and painful. I enjoy walking and hiking on occasion and usually do it solo so I can go at my own pace. If you're super into physical fitness like running, biking, skiing, rock climbing, etc, and hope to be able to do those things with your wife, I'm not the girl for you: you're welcome. Have a nice day and hatzlacha on your dating journey! • When it comes to personality, I’m kind of an extroverted introvert. If I had to pick, I’d say I have more of a cat personality than a dog personality, though I don’t own any house pets and don’t really want to (although, maybe chickens, one day…). I’m fairly comfortable staying in most of the time, though I do enjoy getting out and breathing fresh air somewhat regularly. I do well in quiet settings and I also enjoy social gatherings. Though, I’m much more comfortable being the host who brings people together (even if I spend majority of the time alone in the kitchen) than being subjected to the whims of someone else’s event/get-together, and being a social butterfly would never be an every-night kind of thing for me. Maybe it’s a control thing, maybe it’s an anxiety thing, or maybe it’s my way of regulating the extrovert and introvert that battle within me. No clue. • I feel like I should also add that as a single, never-been-married, woman in my 30s…. I don’t need a husband. But I want a husband. I’m ok being single. I mean, it's not my ideal, but I’ve done it this far, right? So what’s another 60-90 years? I’m not even sure how I ended up in my mid 30s already, so I think the rest of this century will go by in just as much of a blur. And I’m self-aware enough to know that what I deal with on a daily basis would be too much to bring to a relationship with someone else, especially someone who undoubtedly has baggage of their own that I’ll have to help shoulder too. It’s a lot. And it’s more than can be expected of anyone, so I get it if there’s nobody out there who can handle it all. I mean, this isn’t even everything! It’s just a small taste of what being with me would entail, and that’s important for you to know too.

I’m really good at chatting with people (for the most part, anyway…). I’ve had plenty of one-off conversations with guys who have expressed their desire to date me from just that one conversation (not a flex - this always gives me anxiety because I thought we were having a lighthearted chat and the things turn weirdly intimate) and I’ve had to rebuff their advances because their feelings were not reciprocated. Or because they didn’t share my hashkafos on a lot of things. Or because they weren't Jewish, which has happened too. It all has to be mutual, and that is, I think, the hardest thing of all. But they say that making shidduchim is as tough as splitting the sea, which for Hashem is a fantastically easy task. So, maybe you’ve read this far and you’re unbothered by it all. Maybe you have a life experience that matches mine in a way that we could work. If that’s the case: you’re welcome! You've made it this far and I clearly haven't scared you off! …yet. lol You're obviously open to at least hearing what I have to say, and that means you've passed the first test! (I did warn you it would be long!) If you have made it this far and want to message me, use the phrase blue turtles forever somewhere in your message so I at least know you've read this much. But there's still more to this profile, so read on and see what you think then.

I’M LOOKING FOR:

I can't really be too specific about someone I haven't met yet, but there are a few things I will not compromise on:

I'm 100% against: [1] smoking [2] excessive drinking (as in more than just on shabbos, yom tov, and for a l'chaim) [3] any kind of recreational drugs [4] unsafe/erratic driving, driving while texting or holding a phone

I'm looking for someone closer to my own age (-2/+5) and Ashkenazi, and I would also like the person I share my life with to: • have the ability to hold down a job but also make serious time for learning (and enjoy sharing what they learn) • be someone who will accept me for who I am, respect me and my past • be someone who enjoys having fun and can make me laugh - this is obviously subjective, though my sense of humor is full of puns, creative play on words, parody, sarcasm, absurd storytelling, and some dark humor • and I think “good with kids” is probably a given, but I felt I should add it too

Other beneficial traits I wouldn’t say no to: • green thumb - I would love to have a garden and grow our own food, so any experience and interest in that would be super • creative - I would love doing family projects together • handy - I enjoy assembling furniture and doing random DIYs but would love a husband who could take care of stuff like that too • nice singing voice - I wouldn’t say I’m the world’s greatest singer, but would love to be able to harmonize with someone

As a general rule, I'm most attracted to people who try to emulate the 13 attributes of Hashem in their own life. In particular - Rachum, Chanun, Erech Apayim, and Rav Chesed - people who live their lives with a focus on kindness, grace/mercy, and slowness to anger.

PLEASE NOTE: I'm not currently in a place in my life where I want to be a stepmother, and I feel kind of weird about dating someone divorced. Obviously context is important for why the person is in those situations, but having lived through dysfunction and my parents' divorce, for now it is a strong preference. It's also interesting to me that I keep getting messages primarily from divorced guys with kids, despite this being one of the things I have not changed on my profile despite many other updates, which makes me think you're not even reading any of this. If you've continued to read this far, use the phrase it's a mee a mareeyo somewhere in your message to me so that I can at least tell you've read up until here.

I'm a make-do-with-what-I've-got kind of person, but that doesn't mean I'll settle for the lowest hanging fruit. As my boss's friend once told me, "better to be miserable single than miserable married." 🤷🏻‍♀️

WHAT “MODERN ORTHODOX MACHMIR” MEANS TO ME:

I used to have this one set to 'Yeshivish Modern’ but when I actually take a step back and analyze the way I live my life I think I'm more 'modern orthodox machmir' than I am 'yeshivish modern'. I hate this whole labeling system, but there are some differences and I think I'm more 'modernish' than 'yeshivish'.

That being said, let's dig into how I define this particular label:

I like the look of a black hat on Shabbos, but I also like the idea of a married guy doing something that clearly delineates him from the single guys, like wearing a wedding band. (Not a wedding ring "exchange" at the wedding, just a gift given from wife to husband afterwards to be worn as a public sign of a marriage commitment)

And I partake of secular content:

I do try to censor what I listen to, but I grew up with a lot of non-Jewish music and still enjoy a lot of it. It's a comfort zone thing for me and while I don't necessarily agree with all the values shared in the songs, it's still something that's a part of my life right now. Most of these are songs I would never play for my kids and that would probably change things for me down the road.

I read secular books, but avoid reading them on Shabbos and yomim tovim, because I think they bring down the spirituality of the day and are the antithesis of what we're supposed to be doing on those days.

I watch TV shows and movies, youtube videos, etc. But I don't want to own a TV. I don't like the idea of a TV being the focal point of the living room or bedroom, and I don't want my kids to be raised in a home where that seems like the foregone conclusion for downtime. For the occasional movie/TV show, computers work just fine and can be way easier to close up and put away without it being an in-your-face temptation, but the values and language in modern children’s content isn’t anything I’d like my children exposed to all that much in general. I’m much more interested in fostering creativity and originality.

I also try to make a point of not watching/listening to any of the above during the week of Chanukah specifically. The whole point of Chanukah is that we fought against outside influences, particularly those of Hellenistic sentiment, and I think it's a slap in the face to the holiday for us to partake of the secular world during the time we're celebrating our triumph over it. Feel free to share your own personal 'traditions' with me. I'd be curious to hear how you choose to 'step up' your yiddishkeit.

So... modern orthodox, but... machmir. I think the label says it all.

#jumblr #frumblr #orthodox #jewish #frum #dating #jewish dating #shidduch dating #shidduch #shadchan #shadchanim #shidduchim #i am the shidduch crisis

[auroragoth]

so, today at work, we started doing the end of summer big clean up (like cleaning bathrooms with white vinegar and a toothbrush, this kind of deal) so you can guess that I wasn't using much brain power for the tasks at hand, which led me to spend the entire day in my brain, brewing some ideas, and there's this simblr project i've been thinking about all morning that i'd love to make happen...

you know these magazine edits that have been going around lately? i absolutely love those, and i was thinking, why not make the articles that go with it as well, as if it was a real magazine in the game? and maybe make it like a monthly release or something?

so for examples have articles like 'Summer Investigation: Scylla 06942 - How a routine excursion became the worst space incident in 30 years' (think Titanic or Lady D-style article) or like 'Kiss Me in Komorebi: contestants finally announced!' with maybe interviews of the differents sims, or even 'SPIT: the new band taking the world by storm' being like a concert report or something... (and a lot more, i had so many ideas going in my brain this morning!)

anything and everything that could go into a magazine, to share things with the community and bring light to known and lesser-known simmers and what they do, be it regular gameplay, stories, CAS challenges, just creating OCs, etc. and sharing past, current and upcoming projects, but in a fun way!

now obviously, this would be a collaborative thing, first with the simmers whose sims / stories /etc. are featured, but also with people who would like to get involved with the project (like I have zero (0) photoshop skills so I would need someone to help with that), but I think it would be a really fun thing to work on!!

#they're just article examples cuz i'm no caught up with anything so i know nothing about all the lore and stuff for like the amongussies #but you get the gist #i just feel like it could be a fun way to get to discover new simmers #and for people to find older things that tend to get burried on here #sims #sims 4 #ts4 #the sims #the sims 4 #simblr #AG talks

[justanotherniky]

Rating: General Audiences Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply Category: Gen Fandom: Hypnosis Mic Characters: Yamada Ichiro, Yamada Jiro, Yamada Saburo, Aohitsugi Samatoki, Amemura Ramuda, Jinguji Jakurai, Harai Kuko, Nurude Sasara Additional Tags: Fluff, Happy Birthday Yamada Ichiro, Domestic Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Humor, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Minor Aohitsugi Samatoki/Yamada Ichiro, ramuda is very chaotic Language: English Words: 3653

Summary: Jiro and Saburo are ready to start the preparations for Ichiro's birthday- IS THAT FLOUR ON THE FLOOR OH NO OH MY GOD JIRO YOU'VE GOT CAKE BATTER IN YOUR HAIR- Ahem. It's going to be the most perfect birthday dinner ever, just you wait!

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/40558947

Buster Bros so cute aksgfdgjsj Ahem. Happy birthday Ichiro! This is a silly goofy thing because I love you very much. Once again thanks to Anna @fullmetalgirl98​ for betaing and making the header because I have zero Photoshop skills, alongside the zero baking skills. EGGS.

#hypnosis mic #buster bros #yamada ichiro #yamada jiro #yamada saburo #happy birthday ichiro #happy birthday yamada ichiro #yamada ichiro birthday #hypmic #samaichi #kinda i mean it's visibly there because i love them too much buuuut #anime #manga

[let-robots-dream]

As part of my portfolio refresh I’m attempting some drawing… not my strong suit but I feel ok about these warm ups!

I have put zero effect into improving in sketching in many many years. All my skill points are in photoshop hahaha

I also realized I have not drawn a tree since I was 6…

#my art #I haven’t really drawn since I did a short animation project in college #gaze upon the poor drawing skills that once earned me a C in a summer school art class!