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j-graysonlibrary · 7 months

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The Xiang Chronicles: Book Four Chapter 7

Title: The Xiang Chronicles: Book Four

Author: Jay Grayson

Word Count: 118k

Genres: Fantasy, adventure, drama, LGBT+

Available on: my website

Synopsis: In order to save the world from the continuous subjugation and potential annihilation at the hands of Tiandi, hard lines must be drawn. The Great Spirits that were imprisoned ages ago must be unsealed and awakened, no matter the consequences.

The players are divided—those who stand blindly with Tiandi, such as Xiang Merra and her disciples versus those who want to tear the system down and give the power back to the people. Even a few of the most religious Lords change their minds when they learn the truth of the world—that Tiandi is no more than a dictator with no love in his heart.

It is up to the last, real Xiang and the ill-fated Chaaya to put everything they have into tearing God from his throne and creating new possibilities for the future.

Full chapter 7 under the cut

Chapter VII:

Despite the rather rough, naturally formed areas in the cave that everyone had been congregated in, the rooms themselves were quite cozy. Perhaps it was the expectation of dank crevices and rock beds that made everyone sigh in relief upon seeing actual mattresses and cushions.

Not all of the rooms had doors, however. Most did—old, rickety wooden doors—but other rooms were partitioned off with a curtain or a length of plywood to hoist over the archway.

Kira had never cared about the plank-for-a-door before but now that he was in his room with Raine, he found himself longing for a real door.

Back when he first started to stay in the caves, he had barely slept in his room at all. Even more recently, he could count on one hand the number of times he truly settled down in the room to sleep.

Being alone in the space had a way of playing with his mind. He would always start to think of everything he had so effortlessly batted away during the day. The feelings of loneliness, despair, hate…they would all come clawing back, haunting him.

Now that he had Raine sitting on the side of his bed, it actually felt like his room.

“So…” Raine shifted his weight around and looked to the side, almost bashful. “This is where you spent the last year?”

“Not really.” Kira plopped down next to him and sighed. “When I slept it was mostly in small bursts while I relaxed. I cannot remember the last time I really laid down and rested here.”

“Is it uncomfortable?” he asked with a raised brow.

Kira grinned, finding his behavior far too cute for his own good. He leaned over and kissed his lower lip, still finding the act of doing so nerve wracking. It was silly, he reinforced mentally, but his heart pounded in his chest regardless.

“No,” he answered, “It is not uncomfortable. I just missed the company.”

Raine met his smile with one of his own. “Oh, well…” He hoped to not seem too eager and replied, “I am here now.”

The rooms were at least all fairly spaced apart, each being at the end of a tunnel. Some were more secluded than others but, for the most part, there was a good deal of privacy afforded to the couples.

Loa and Phay needed it the least which was why they were the closest to the main area and only had a sheet for a door. Phay had to sit up in bed to make sure she did not further injure her arm on accident and Loa applied fresh bandages.

They spoke in whispers about the future, starting with the next day, and what training might look like for them. “I will be making sure you do not exert yourself,” Loa said and gave the lord a stern look.

Phay, of course, met her eyes and smirked. “I will only use my good arm.”

“Sure.” Loa shook her head and secured the bandage around her shoulder. She brushed off some imagined dirt or lint and sighed before resting against her. The fatigue of the day was finally catching up and she did not even care to rehash all they had learned.

Her mind was far too tired and Phay was in no position to judge—she too was already half asleep.

Another reason they had taken the room with the least privacy was due to May’s insistence on having a door. She truly was a princess in every meaning of the word.

Already, she took up the entire bed, stretching her limbs out to their limits. Fujin stared down at her with a sideways glare.

“You do intend to move…correct?”

May squinted her eyes until they were nearly shut and grinned like mad. “Maybe.”

Fujin stepped closer.

“Or! Maybe you should just take the floor!” May’s fingers dug into the sheets, an attempt to anchor herself to the bed.

Fujin wordlessly grabbed her arms, prompting a fight immediately. May had no chance though and she knew it. She resorted to flailing and hollering which, quickly, turned into laughing as Fujin folded her limbs up and rolled her to the side. She crawled into bed with her and pinned her down before she had any further ideas.

“Mean!” May complained and wormed her body around but could not get free.

“Yes. I am very mean.” Fujin replied, flatly.

Really, she wondered how the princess had such limitless energy. Sometimes she wondered if she was fueled, entirely, by spite.

May, squirming like an agitated insect, managed to break free but she did not, immediately, return to the struggle from before. Rather, she turned around to face Fujin (though she nearly elbowed her in the face by pure accident in the process).

Now looking her in the eye, she tried to show an innocent, cutesy face with her bottom lip poked out. It was clear to Fujin what she was aiming for and, while she was tired from the running around, fighting, and the onslaught of information that had just been hurled their way, she still entertained her princess.

Their lips met and May hummed happily. When she pulled back, she suggested, “Shall we break in the bed?”

Fujin saw that coming and was already rolling her eyes.

“What?” May dropped her cutesy act and defaulted to irritation.

“If you behave,” Fujin told her.

“I have been so well behaved. Except when I told you to sleep on the floor…but that was a joke!” The princess whined and threw her arm over Fujin’s side while, simultaneously, scooting closer. Her hips and chest both pressed against her, in a way she knew was difficult to resist.

Fujin sighed and held her in return, massaging into her lower back. “Promise to be good?” She hinged her reward—a kiss—on her answer. So, when May, eager and grinning, nodded her head up and down, Fujin gave in and kissed her.

Her thoughts started to leave the myriad of problems facing them but she did spare one last consideration for her brother and how he was fairing in his new predicament.

Obviously, the four of them had been given the largest room which also had a door. The size of the bed was not especially impressive but Pangu took mental measurements and figured they could fit with a little problem solving. It was Kaz he was most concerned about since, even when it was just the two of them cuddling, he often fought for more space.

“Now, we can all finally talk,” Viren announced happily and looked to Kaz.

But, now that it was time, he felt stuck in his words. It did not help that they had all changed out of armor and into lighter, more basic robes. There was less fabric between all of them and his eyes kept traveling to the cloth belts on everyone’s waists.

“Um…right.”

Pangu raised an eyebrow. “Do you not have an answer yet?” he deduced.

“I do but that does not mean I want to…you know…right away.” Kaz’s face turned red even though he had not actually said anything.

Still, he managed to get his point across quite clearly. Baiya set his hands on his hips and gave a slight frown. “That is all well and good but do not be put out if the three of us ignore you and do our own thing.”

Viren instantly stepped in and assured Kaz, “I will not completely ignore you.”

Baiya half shrugged and half turned his head to the side, clearly more than ready to be physically close with Pangu regardless if anyone else was joining in. Pangu stifled his laugh and captured his disciple’s attention by resting a hand on his chest.

His touch traveled up, along his neck and into his beard. “I like the new look,” he said as he traced along the full cheeks and up into the hair over his ears. “I have been meaning to tell you.”

Recalling what Kira said earlier, Baiya felt rather vindicated and a smirk tugged at his lips. “Thank you.” He took Pangu’s hand and drew it to his lips, planting a kiss on the inside of his palm.

A small but powerful jolt of energy shot through Pangu’s body and he started to grin. He was beginning to see Baiya’s stance on their night as quite reasonable. He would never force Kaz into anything he was not ready for, but he did want some intimacy from those who were willing. If that meant just him and Baiya for the night, he was happy to accept that.

He followed that impulse and captured Baiya in a kiss, returning his fingers to his beard. The small peck escalated, quickly, and Pangu made no effort to slow them down, only shooting a quick look to the side, to check on the other two.

A content chuckle got caught in his throat as Baiya slipped his tongue into his mouth and, while that was rather distracting, Pangu still watched as Viren took Kaz’s face into his hands and slowly lead him into a kiss. Pangu’s eyes met Kaz’s just before he made contact but it was short lived. Kaz’s eye fluttered and closed, fully accepting whatever Viren had in store for him and Pangu, while keeping his focus slightly divided, definitely favored the more direct attention he was getting from Baiya.

He had been waiting for this moment for a very long time, after all—he did not wish to miss out just because he was still worried about Kaz. Viren would not force him into anything, after all, so he was perfectly safe with him.

There was the lingering concern that seeing Pangu with Baiya would trigger some negative response in Kaz—one that even he, himself, did not anticipate. But, when Baiya moved them to the bed, there were no protests. In fact, the next time Pangu checked in with him, he saw Viren kissing along his neck, clearly whispering between pecks, and Kaz’s face was red with his eyes losing focus in a way that was very familiar.

Pangu was relieved to know that each of them was, as much as he was, fully excited for the arrangement. He circled his arms around Baiya’s neck as his Agni disciple settled between his legs, their energy both boiling to a head. “I have dreamed of this for some time,” Baiya mumbled against his ear, emphasizing with a kiss along the shell.

“Me as well,” Pangu admitted and accepted the kiss that came after.

It was a long time to wait and he certainly felt the prick of tears welling up in his eyes but the singing all through his body took precedence. He could cry out of joy later, but first: the deep, long neglected itch in him needed to be scratched.

Luckily, sound did not travel well between rooms and the only noise Oli could hear was the panting of Browly as he watched him set up his cot on the floor. The down mattress had no frame to be placed on but there was a smooth spot on the floor which would work just fine.

The necromancer sat on his bed, on the far side of the room, and watched. At least he was having to share with one of the quieter members of the group, he thought to himself, but at the same time, he worried it would be too awkward if they were both silent.

“You do not have a problem sleeping on the floor do you?” Ziyi asked. His bed, while not a frame either, was hoisted up by two chains connected to the wall. It was probably less comfortable than the mattress the Terran lord-to-be had but he figured he could at least offer.

Oli spun around to look at him, clearly surprised to be spoken to at all. His eyes bounced between him and Browly. “Um, I have before so it is fine. The mattress feels soft.”

Ziyi nodded. “I do not know where they pulled all of these materials from. When I first arrived here, everything was made of stone and I would be happy about it…”

“…If it was not a danger to everyone, I would stay elsewhere.” Oli gulped, visibly. “I apologize for intruding.”

Like Pangu, he was difficult to speak with—perhaps even more so on account of his staggering sincerity. “No. Don’t. It is not necessary. Just…do not overstay your welcome and…be kind to Browly.”

Oli, again, looked to the reanimated dog who, upon making eye contact, started to thump his tail against the stone floor. “Sure,” he agreed easily.

Browly jumped up but not to run toward Oli. Instead, he threw his head back to look at Chandes who barged into the room with zero warning.

“How is the roommate situation?” she asked with a wide, toothy smile.

Ziyi rolled his eyes. “We just came back here…”

“I know. I’m impatient.” Her attention shifted to Oli. “Has this old man done anything strange?”

“…No?” Oli stretched out the word as he glanced between the two. Chandes was grinning from ear to ear while Ziyi pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Oh, well, be careful. He is a pervert.” Chandes snickered. “He tries to proposition me all the time.”

“You liar!” Ziyi pointed at her, yelling, “If anyone is a weirdo, it is you for being hundreds of years old but presenting as some teenage girl!”

“I am not using a teenager body. I am just small and cute.” She pursed her lips.

“You are not cute. If anything, you creep me out.”

“Denial!”

“Wretch!”

Oli watched them until they were both spent from hurling random insults back and forth, exhausted and breathing heavily. “You two seem close,” he mentioned, getting them both to recoil.

“Huh?” they rejected the notion in nearly perfect unison.

Oli chuckled to himself. “Sorry. Feel free to continue your, um, fight, as I get some rest. I could sleep through another battle so do not mind me.” He meant it, too. Once he was lying down on the mattress, it took only a few seconds to lose consciousness—even as the whispered bickering continued beside him.

#the xiang chronicles #my novel #my writing

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charlespecco · 2 years

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CHARLES & PECCO

2019 Italian GP // 2021 Emilia Romagna GP // x // x // Italian GP winning helmets: Monza 2019, Mugello 2022 // Charles Leclerc's qualifying crash means he is unable to start the 2021 Monaco GP after taking pole // Pecco Bagnaia crashes out of the lead in the 2021 Emilia Romagna GP, ending his championship hopes // "Child in Red" by Rainer Maria Rilke // Charles and Arthur Leclerc, 2021 Le Castellet Formula 3 Race II // Pecco and Carola Bagnaia, 2021 Aragon GP // Charles Leclerc and Mattia Binotto, 2022 Bahrain GP // Pecco Bagnaia and Gigi Dall'Igna, 2022 Spanish GP // little red wristbands // "Late Fragment" by Raymond Carver // Charles Leclerc and Ferrari celebrate his first F1 win, 2019 Belgian GP // Pecco Bagnaia is embraced by the Ducati team after his first MotoGP win, 2021 Aragon GP

#oh god i have never been mentally ill on main quite like this before.#charles leclerc #pecco bagnaia #thats right im tagging this. its hard work being this insane #LOVE IS STORED IN THE DEEPLY MEDIOCRE WEB WEAVING.#i hope the photos are from where i think they're from LOL. if not oh well im a loser #i KNOW its loose at best and i could have done SO much better w this but. babys first web weave?#its about the red italian team whose last major success was in 2007 and now all the hopes and dreams of these institutions rest on you #and you're young still (they're both 97 babies!!!) but somehow its always felt a little like time is running out #mostly its about the babywabyism.#pecco #motogp #f1 #they are my sweet little baby blorbos :(#save #most self-indulgent shit i've ever done in all my too many years on this website!!!!#also first remotely creative impulse i've felt in a VERY long time LMAO #ducati #ferrari

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kuroo-shitsurou · 3 years

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Shooting Stars (Childe x Fem!Reader)

note: honestly, no one asked for this. this is obviously self-indulgent, but god FUCK do i love that ginger fatui man so much.

word count: 2.6k

"Careful now."

Childe's voice was calming, much like the gust of wind that blew past your hair. You saw his hand in front of you and you gladly grasped it, heart racing at the idea of falling to your death. The wind was calm and the air was refreshing, but there was nothing light about the pit in your stomach screaming at you to just carefully glide back down to the foot of the mountain you two were climbing.

"You aren't going to die, dear." He laughed, amused at the sight of your face.

"And what if I do? Childe, this isn't funny!" Your knees were planted firmly on one of the floating rocks just above Qingyun Peak. You grimaced at how the moss scraped against your bare knees, but you felt paralyzed with fear at the thought of falling because you knew better than to trust your clumsy nature.

"I'm not letting you fall. Trust me!" The genuine concern and reassurance in his voice was masked with his charming playfulness, and you couldn't help but sigh and stand up to follow him up to the floating island up ahead.

Childe requested to occupy your entire day earlier that morning, saying something about him showing you a beautiful sight that's sure to take your breath away. You agreed, entertaining his idea of a beautiful sight. After sparring with him in the golden house, eating a sumptuous lunch at Wanmin Restaurant, then sparring with him again, you two headed over to Qingyun Peak. The sun was about to set, and your eyes were mesmerized by how the purple hues above your head covered the entirety of Liyue.

The golden hour was nearly over, and here you were, scared out of your mind, with Childe leading you up a path of floating rock chunks that you were sure would collapse if two of you stepped on one at the same time. However, much to your surprise, they didn't.

"I've got you, okay?" Your companion's voice rang in your ears, and you didn't notice that he stepped down from his current platform to take his rightful place beside you. His right hand was still holding yours, and he used his free hand to rub gentle circles on your lower back to comfort you. You breathed in his scent- a mix of dried sweat and blood with a hint of his perfume clinging to the fabric of his collar. It was a familiar scent, something that soothed you despite being thousands of feet in the air with no stable architecture to calm your nerves. You just had to trust that the Adepti architectures knew what they were doing when they built this pavilion.

"Okay," You whispered to him.

Surprisingly, the climb was easier than you initially expected. It did help that Childe was almost carrying you the rest of the way, but leaning into him was inevitable and unavoidable. It wasn't because you wanted to be buried deeper into his chest while he held you close to the point that the exposed skin on your lower back was starting to burn because his clothed fingers were just lingering there. No, definitely not that. You were simply prioritizing your safety.

"See? It wasn't that hard, right?"

"You could have told me that we'd be heading to the pavilion. I could have mentally prepared myself for the climb."

"Mentally prepare? I'm quite sure that clinging onto me the whole time put you at ease, hm?" You wanted to wipe the smug grin off his pretty face.

"Shut up before I make you, fatui."

He let out a hearty laugh, throwing his head back and clutching his sides.

"You're honestly too adorable for your own good." He stepped closer and moved the hair out of your face as you felt another strong breeze blow by.

"I said shut it!" You felt a rush of heat spread across your cheeks as his eyes scanned your flustered figure.

"Here, take a seat." He motioned to the stone seat facing the sunset. "I did tell you that I'd show you a beautiful sight tonight."

"I trust your taste, so it better be worth it."

"When have I ever lied to you?"

You shot him a look. As you were about to open your mouth to speak, he quickly interjected with a defeated sigh.

"Don't even answer that." You could only chuckle as he sat down beside you, inching closer and closer until your shoulders were brushing against each other. This wasn't really the first time that you and him have been this close with each other.

You and Childe have a... complex relationship, simply put. It's not like you were dating, but the way he treated you- with respect, with care, with love; You wanted to melt in his arms as easily as you could fight him with your sword. You weren't really sure if Childe had romantic feelings for you because he never really talked about it, but you could only go off on his actions, and they directed to the one conclusion that he did have feelings for you.

However, as your former partner in research, Albedo, once said, "Do not assume unless stated otherwise. Logic and officiality back facts as much as they debunk assumptions." In reality, it was so easy to understand. Theoretically, it was easier. However, now that you were there in that position where all signs pointed to Childe having romantic feelings for you, you didn't know what to believe in.

Did you want to trust your gut instinct, or did you want to wait until Childe made it official and clear? It was a mindboggling situation for you because you also found yourself enamored by him.

Why... Why were you even enamored in the first place?

Maybe it was because you adored how he talked about his family. You could just listen to him for hours on end as he fondly tells you the tales of his adventures with Tonia, Anthon, and Teucer. It was the way that his deep cerulean eyes lit up whenever you asked about short anecdotes about his family that he could comfortably share with you. He adored his family so much that it made you feel... jealous. Aether was your only family, and you were still on the pursuit to finding him, so you were envious of how Childe could still visit his family back in Snezhnaya if he wanted to. You? You weren't even sure if your brother was still in Teyvat.

Maybe it was how he always tended to your wounds after each time you sparred. Although Childe claims that he's nothing more than a bloodthirsty hound who wishes for nothing but power and glory, he really can't stand seeing you with an open wound or a bleeding nose. While Childe is primarily the reason behind your injuries, he'd also be the first to bring you gauzes, band-aids, and medicine from Bubu Pharmacy. You'd always be touched since he tends to you first before he paid any mind to the bruises and cuts that adorned his skin.

"Your health is my priority, comrade. After all. who else could match my skills in combat if not you? That's why you better take care of yourself, or better yet, allow me to take care of you instead." His words echoed in your head, and you blushed, realizing the possible implications of his statement.

Maybe it was his surprisingly sharp memory. Though Childe could never compare to the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor's Consultant, Zhongli, he would often shock you at how he remembered things so well- especially when it came to you. One time, for your birthday, he bought you a necklace with your birthstone as the main gem adorning the fabric. You only ever mentioned your birthday once, and it was at an awkward moment during Hu Tao's birthday celebration, that's why you didn't think Childe would remember it at all.

"I pay attention to you more than you think, dear. I also happen to store things in my memory bank if they're that important to me." You remembered how he laughed as he insisted on putting the necklace on for you. Your hand instinctively latched on to the beautiful gem resting on your chest.

Maybe it was the way he called for your name. Whether he said your name in a battle cry, as a greeting, or in the middle of him teasing you, you were absolutely intoxicated with the way that your name rolled off his tongue. The way the syllables just always seemed so right when it was Childe who spoke them. Often, he would call you comrade, dear, or another endearing nickname he managed to create on the fly. However, when he spoke your name, it was always magical for you.

"Happy birthday, dear _____. I hope you enjoy this present!"

"It seems as though you've defeated me today. No matter, _____. I'm sure I'll triumph over you tomorrow."

"You look lovely as always, _____. Want to spar with me?"

"_____."

You were snapped out of your little daze. Your name being called over and over again wasn't just a hallucination caused by your infatuation with the eleventh harbinger. He was actually calling for you.

"Hey, _____? Are you feeling okay?" You blinked a few times before you realized that his blue eyes were practically puncturing your own. They were glazed over with concern, a sign that he had been calling you for a while now.

"O-Oh, I'm sorry!" You jolted, straightening your posture. "I was just fascinated by the sky, is all. I didn't mean to startle you."

"The sky, you say? Were you really thinking of the sky? Perhaps you were thinking about me instead?" His tone was teasing, a little more relaxed now that he knew you weren't feeling ill.

"The sunset was lovely. Although I see it everyday in Liyue Harbor, viewing it from up here in the pavilion is truly sensational. Thank you, Childe." You spoke, ignoring his attempt at riling you up. Of course, you were also ignoring the fact that he hit the nail right on the head with his guess.

"You didn't deny it, girlie." His voice was like a melody in your ears, a sweet harmony that made you feel elated. Anyway, why would you deny it? You were a woman of principle, which means you detested lying. It doesn't count as lying if you neither confirmed nor denied his guess, right? Right, keep telling yourself that.

"Don't flatter yourself." Your curt reply was met by another laugh.

"It should be anytime now," His words met the wind and your unknowing ears.

"What is?"

"Let's just wait for a few moments. I took you up here to see something more than just the sunset, after all." He gave you a wink, to which you just huffed and turned your crimson face.

A few moments passed, and Childe was already bouncing his leg up and down; Something you knew he only did when he was anxious or frustrated about something.

"Is something the matter?" You asked, watching his face grimace.

"Ah, perhaps my predictions were wrong." He stood up to stretch. "We were supposed to see something more than just the sunset, but perhaps Celestia just didn't want our little date to go as smoothly as I initially planned."

Hang on.

Date?

This was a date?

Your heart was racing and your mind began to fill itself with unanswered questions, but Childe knew better than to keep you waiting more than you already were.

"Hey, darling?" Your stomach dropped at the use of this nickname. "Do me a favor. Focus on the sky and don't look away until I say so."

You gave him a nod, unable to form the words that would suffice as a comprehensible sentence. He had you tongue-tied with just a simple nickname.

He walked away from where you were seated, just a few paces to your right and a couple of steps back. He was far enough to the point where you couldn't see him in your peripheral, but close enough for you to hear the jiggling of the adornments and chains on his clothes. You knew that sound even if it came from a mile away. You had it memorized by heart because of how many times you heard it before your sparring sessions began.

He took out his bow and was aiming to shoot an arrow.

Admittedly, there was a little voice at the back of your mind warning you about the potential danger just a couple of feet away from you. However, you decided to fight against it, knowing that the "potential danger" was just Childe. He'd never hurt you, right?

Despite the trust that you put in the ginger, you still closed your eyes as you heard him release the string of his bow. The quiet whizz of the arrow flew by your head, and when you realized that he wasn't shooting at you, you carefully opened your eyes to see a bright blue arrow shooting across the sky.

Your mouth went agape at the consecutive hydro-infused arrows flying across the velvet sky bedazzled with stars. The moon's glow illuminated the scenery, which made the setting all the more romantic and intimate. The vibrant hues of green and blue mixed with each other in the sky, creating an aurora borealis.

You were marveling at the number of arrows crossing the sky.

They were like shooting stars, except... they reminded you of Childe.

Though you knew they were only faux shooting stars, you closed your eyes.

"Archons, if you could be so kind, please allow me to be with him." You whispered to yourself.

You then opened your eyes to see the last arrow slowly fading away from your vision, and the hydro vision holder you loved so much sheepishly standing in front of you.

"I thought that the shooting stars would be visible tonight, that's why I asked you to come with me up here. Turns out my predictions were wrong. Maybe Scaramouche was right about the stars being a lie." He laughed, rubbing the back of his neck.

You giggled and looked at him, signaling to continue what he had to say.

"Although they were fake, I hope you liked them. I brought you here so that we could wish on the shooting stars together." His face was growing red, and you wanted to run up and hug him, if only your pride would stop getting the best of you.

"I loved them, Childe. Thank you for asking me out here today." You stood up and gave his hair a light ruffle, laughing at how he mocked you for doing so.

"So, what did you wish for?" He asked, taking a few steps closer to you.

"W-Well, uh," You began to stumble on your words, which caused you to involuntarily take a step back. With each step you took, Childe did too.

"Hmm?"

He managed to back you up against the pillar in the middle of the pavilion, and was enjoying the face you made as he trapped you between his arms.

"F-For good health! Yes, good health!" Yes, lying was against your principles, but you couldn't just say straight to his face that you wished for a relationship with him now, could you?

"Good for you then. You wanna know what I wished for?" His face came extremely close to yours, and you could feel his breath on your cheek.

"Wh-What is it?"

"You."

Your eyes once again met his deep blue orbs and they softened when he was staring straight into your soul.

"Can I kiss you?"

You gave a light nod, and he finally closed the gap between your lips.

Albedo was wrong.

You can definitely believe an assumption if the signs were obvious enough.

Omake;

"You totally wished for us to be together right?!"

"Oh, for the love of the Tsaritsa, please shut up!"

"You totally did!"

"I am seriously going to push you off."

"You're so mean, girlie!"

In the name of Kimura Ryohei being the VA of Childe and Kise from Kuroko no Basket

#genshin #genshin impact #gi #genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #gi x reader #genshin fanfic #ajax #childe #tartaglia #ajax x reader #childe x reader #tartaglia x reader #genshin ajax #genshin childe #genshin tartaglia #i love u ginger man #why is he so fucking CUTE

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fumingspice · 3 years

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All The Things She Said

Part: One Two Three

Requests are open and I don’t have a life so knock yourself out with them xo

Pairing: Lana Winters x Reader

lit the last update so that i cant put off seven wonders any longer. enjoy. mwah

Warnings: one (1) hot and sexy milf, implied smut

It made Lana Winters’ blood boil to the core seeing you, your friends and yourIt made Lana Winters’ blood boil to the core seeing you, your friends and your date discussing themes, co-ordinations, transport and the apartment you had all planned to book to stay overnight in. You could see it in her when she overheard Heather or Emmett making jokes that you were getting attention after your promposal.

You knew the idea of organised formal events gave her headaches unless she really wanted to go, so frankly you were pretty surprised when you found out she would be one of the teachers chaperoning the dance.

“You’re kidding me, right?” Emmett asked, smothing down a suit he was tryin on. Just a few more days to go until the prom. “I thought you said she broke it off.”

You unfolded your arms and straightened yourself up to read a few dress magazines which were sitting on a stool in the viewing room. “She did,” you replied, looking at different dresses on each page to try and get some sembelnce of what you wanted to wear.

Emmett looked fantastic in his suit. “Be honest, Y/N. Is she bothering you?”

You shook your head and chuckled. “Gosh, no. Not at all,” you replied. That was true after all, you were keeping up with the prom thing because you knew that it trained Lana’s attention back on you.

“If you say so,” he said with a roll of his eyes. “Did you hear that her title got changed? She must have finally signed the divorce papers.”

You were frozen slightly for a moment. The news that Lana had actually signed for divorce after having put it off for years made the entire thing seem real.

And on God you loved the feeling.

“Are you ready to go dress shopping?”

You nodded, a wide grin showing on your face. The three of you strode out to the dress shop. Heather already had her heart set on a specific dress that she had seen months ago. You, on the other hand, had barely given it a second thought.

Manny was insistent on purple, claiming that it was your perfect colour.

It was also the colour of Lana’s bedsheets the first time you’d visited her home.

So, it was decided. A beautiful, vibrant purple dress with a slit that went up your thigh. Strapless. Just how Lana liked it.

The prom was taking place out of town in a hotel built around the ruins of an old castle. Your legs and jaw jittered out of every feeling swirling around your body and mind. The sea of your peers socialising, dancing, not-so discreetly drinking in the lit-up ruins was magical. It was like the essence of whatever parties must have taken place between the old walls of the ballroom came back to life every so often.

You noticed Lana through the corner of your eye wearing a red dress. Her eyes softened as she took you in, noticeably getting distracted from her conversation with another teacher as she raised her eyebrows at you.

You glanced away, making sure not to show her any emotion whatsoever.

When you had walked far enough through the lobby, Lana took your hand and walked slightly faster. There was an empty first-aid suite in the hall, lined with small beds incase guests ever got too drunk or took ill. Weird thing to have.

You danced and sang, drank, and laughed with your friends, swinging from Manny’s arms and pulling him in close. You certainly didn’t just look like friends tonight and it was driving Lana insane.

After what had been hours of stolen glances, longing stares and not so accidental brushes of contact, you finally worked up your nerve to go talk to her when she went behind one of the far-off stone pillars for a cigarette.

“I knew you weren’t going to be able to hold off those all night,” you said. Lana turned in surprise.

“I didn’t think you were going to speak to me tonight,” she replied, taking a deep inhale. “You seemed more than happy with your date.”

You smirked at her ill-attempt to sound irritated.

“Can I bum a cigarette?” You asked. You leant against the pillar on your back so that she couldn’t look away from you again.

Lana chuckled as she passed to you. “I thought you had no interest in smoking.”

You coughed heavily. “I don’t,” you wheezed. “But you look hot as shit when you do it and I wanted another way to keep your attention on me.”

The brunette shook her head. “Your wearing your necklace,” she admired, pulling at her own.

You nodded. “I had to have some symbol of the one I love on me.” Your words left your mouth before you even had time to process it. You muttered a profanity under your breath. “I’m sorry, Lana. I wasn’t thinking-”

Lana didn’t skip a beat in taking your hand and guiding you back into the main building of the hotel without explaining herself.

Your confusion almost continued until Lana opened the door and pulled you into the room. Before you had time to open your mouth and ask what on Earth was going on, she pressed you against the door and kissed you.

With that, it was like a magnet being held back was allowed to swing to its attraction. You clutched your arms over her neck, arching your back so that your bodies met. Lana's lips eloped yours as her hands stayed trained on your back and waist.

How on Earth did your French teacher manage to be the one who touched you and set your soul on fire.

Lana's tongue met with yours, her teeth biting down on your lips then going for your jawline. Tiny blotches appeared under her bites and nips as she guided you towards one of the beds and sat on it with you between your legs.

You tried to keep up with her pace, but in reality, you had never experienced something like this before with Lana. By now you felt like you had kissed her a hundred thousand times, but nothing came quite close to the feeling of having the room set on fire and watching from within the flames.

You felt one of Lana's hands trailing from your belly, over your breasts and resting on your throat in a light squeeze. You broke free from her kiss, your lips visibly swollen. Lana's mouth trailed your neck and jawline.

"I thought we were casual," you breathed, her actions driving into your abdomen.

Lana chuckled breathily. "Oh, baby girl. There's nothing casual about you and I.”

Her answer was satisfied you enough to let her get back to the kissing. For now, at least. You were going to absolutely milk the life out of Lana for having ever suggested that you anything less, but right now you just wanted her to work off her damn jealousy.

“God, Lana,” you spoke between her fiery kisses. “If I knew this is how you were when you were jealous then I would’ve acted up weeks ago.”

Lana chuckled into your skin. “Jesus H. Christ, you have quite the mouth, Y/N.”

Her eyes, dark and glossed, collided with your stare. She had the most beautiful brown eyes you had ever seen, and you were almost willing to get lost in her warm gaze. Lana pulled your body onto the bed and lent over you.

Lana’s nails scratched lines up your thigh, navigating themselves under your dress to the point that your eyes snapped open and your breath hitched.

“You put a lot of thought into getting this dress, didn’t you?” she asked. “You told me that you hated slit dresses and that you wouldn’t wear one unless you absolutely had to.”

You smirked. “Clever girl,” you whispered, feeling her hand scratch further up your thigh. Her fingers had almost reached between your legs when Lana pulled back.

“You aren’t wearing underwear?” You nodded and got met with Lana’s melodic laugh. “Y/N, you really are something.”

You could hear the music pounding from outside. t.A.T.u’s “All The Things She Said” had always been a song that you had made a mental note about getting railed to, and right now that somewhat looked like your wish was about to come true.

You took Lana’s hand and pushed it closer to your centre, moaning when you felt her fingers cold against you.

Whispers of, “are you sure?” were followed by slow moves being made for the first time as your lover delicately slipped her fingers to where you were desperate for.

She was slow and gentle, drawing low moans from your like a confession. You would’ve been more than happy to lay under Lana and allow her to watch you be completely undone by the delicate touch of her fingers and mouth, and you knew for a fact that there was no way you would be joining you friends in the rented apartment tonight. Eventually, your own hand slid up Lana’s dress and between her thighs. Your joint moans sparked up a weird melody of romance.

“I love you too,” she whispered into your lips as your arm tightened around her when you had both finished.

“You know, if that’s what’s going to happen every time I say something like that then I’m going to have to say it more often.”

Even now, after the years. The loving, the learning, the fighting and the experience. Proving your sanity to your mom, who eventually approved of your relationship. It was always Lana, and it was always you.

taglist: @sarahp-stan @jumpoffabridge-t @sarahpaulsonsoftie @definitelynot-a-writer @bottom4delia @delias-bitch-craft @creepingwolfberry @thesapphictimelady @goodeday2u @that-fucking-error @saucy-sapphic

#ahs #ahs imagines #lana winters #lana winters x reader #cordelia goode #cordelia goode x reader #sarah paulson #sarah paulson x reader #billie dean howard #billie dean howard x reader #wilhemina venable #wilhemina venable x reader #sally mckenna #sally mckenna x reader #ahs murder house #ahs coven #ahs apocolaypse #i literally hate this but i was desperate to finish it im sorry #i swear i'll make a decent fic at some stage

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yubiina · 3 years

Text

Ma Muse

Jake x reader

warnning: mental illness, mentions of blood and death, Jake being Jake.

i sugest u listen to this while reading, it goes well with the story. Enjoy.

https://youtu.be/vQe5lWNxxXo

‘Regret has always been a strong emotion. The way it rips through one's heart without mercy, reminding you of your foolish decisions over and over again.'

The dust flew off the old wooden panels as they cracked under the dirty shoes that walked towards the main entrance. The sunset shone through the abandoned apartment floor, its foundation decaying and walls chipped off.

Shutting the main entrance door the sound of water echoed through the bathroom.

' Reminding you of what you could've done better, how you wished to turn back time and change everything, wanting to be anywhere but the present '

'regret surely plays both sides of the fence'

The cold water washed down the blood and grime off scarred, tired hands. With a sigh, he headed towards the main entry once again.

The black, duffle bag was thrown to the ground, the impact causing the dust to fly everywhere, now visible from the sunlight,

'And the fear of regret prevents people from foolish mistakes that lead them to a path of trouble they don't wish to go through'

'But I don't feel regret'

Turning on the radio, music echoed through the empty halls. Dragging the old wooden stool from the corner of the room he sat down, meeting the white canvas before him, relaxed and focused.

' Because my heart was occupied by much more complicated feelings than regret. Something I can't quite find yet'

the red tainted paintbrush dragged across the white canvas, excess dripping down to the bottom.

i feel like I'm missing something'

Dragging the brush faster and harsher he continued, tapping his heel.

' have you never found yourself in the same situation? Searching for something that you still find unknown, but you long to, one day, finally claim as yours?'

With a low hum, he slowed down, eyes scanning every detail of his work, carefully studying for any sort of flaw.

'something you're unsure even exists, but you follow through life blindly hoping to one day reach what you believe have to witness.

What you know can't be filled by simple, materialistic pleasures.'

Dipping his brush in black he continued as he had previously.

'An event, a feeling, a person. I search for that missing piece every day.

' And today, like every other, I search for what I'm yearning for

" Can you be sure Alan won't be a problem?" a soft voice spoke through the phone.

With a soft smile, his gaze never left the painting while he lowered the black brush, paint tainting his inner thigh leaving a small spot.

" do you not trust me?" he calmly asks. Lifting his brush he studied it with bored eyes

" no, it's not that," you said in rush. " I just don't want any of the group to be in trouble. You know how I get" flopping on ur bed and staring at your ceiling in deep thought, worry piling up in your gut. There had been numerous missing people from Duskwood, both those close to Hannah and those who had no connection whatsoever in her life.

After Richy's death, Jessy and Thomas's missing cases, the rest of the group was hesitant to keep going with the investigation.

"oh I know," he teased you. Continuing his work, the paintbrush caressed every surface of the canvas.

' Whenever I think I've found what I've been searching for what I've been looking for, it escapes my grasp. It makes me livid, it makes me lonely. Have you ever felt like that'

" thank you, Jake. I don't say it enough, but I hope you know how grateful I am, for keeping me and the rest of the group safe" you smiled through the phone.

'who am I kidding. Of course, you have'

Jake grinned but his expression didn't match his eyes.

" of course Y\N, anytime"

'To me, it doesn't matter what I have to do to find what I need. Or who I need. I lost that human limit a long time ago

'And when I don't find what I'm looking for, suddenly everything gets out of hand'

' I wonder for how long I'll continue this. How long I'll have to chase something unknown.'

Turning his head slowly to his left, he faced the wall and smiled.

The papers and other works of art all glue and clipped together filled the wall, all portraits of unknown people, drawn in detail, everything clear but their eyes, they were anonymous and scratched out.

'but maybe I'm not chasing'

'maybe I've just found a new cure to my loneliness

Grabbing the duffle bag and throwing it near a sink attached to the wall, he unzipped it harshly and turning the water, the sink filled with deep red, quickly washed off as he began scrubbing.

'But now, I think I've finally found what I longed for. For who I longed for, for so, so long. I'd be a fool to let it go'

With delicate hands he carefully placed the painted canvas in the middle of the wall, surrounded by other smaller sketches of unknown people.

' it's mine, mine, mine, mine, all mine and only mine.'

The portrait of a person, their H\C placed perfectly framing their face, their lips drew into a small curve of a smile. And the most detailed feature, the shinning E\C, fresh paint still slightly dripping down from them into their cheeks. The black paint mixed with thick red lines.

'For what was mine from the beginning, will stay mine until the end’

" Oh Y\N" Jake sighed, looking up at the painting with a grin, music still playing from the old radio, reaching every cold room, he swayed the cooling glass of red wine in his hand that he occasionally sipped.

'And now that I found it, may God help anyone that comes between us’

'' If only you could see what you've gotten yourself into"

( I hope u all enjoyed Ma Muse! Here's a little short teaser I made of it. It's like 8sec🧍 but I managed to portray what I wanted)

#duskwood #duskwood everbyte #duskwood jake #duskwood game #duskwood jake x mc #duskwood jessy #duskwood richy #jake duskwood #jake x mc #jake x reader

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og-danny-dorito · 4 years

Text

{ Some SFW Tamaki Headcanons For Your Daily Dose Of Somft™}

OKAY hi hello, I know I've been gone for a while but I'm kinda back now since ive had a burst of inspiration lately for no reason in particular. This is partially cause I actually just finished watching BNHA and good lord, let me tell you bro- I have WAY too many thoughts about this dude for it to be a normal infatuation so here we go! -w-;

- FIRST of all, I'm like 90% sure this dude listens to like really soft cute music like Lofi remixes or those rlly cute anime openings that give off Soft Boy vibes???

- he's like a soft person in general already so its kindof a given. he really likes pastel colors a whole lot for that reason cause they're more muted and subtle and aren't completely overbearing

- he actually owns like, 40 oversized pastel sweaters with various prints and designs on them for that reason. that and oversized soft sweaters are year-round

- most of his clothes are kinda oversized though?? like if you've watched the anime and can see how his shirt fits him I'm like 90% sure it's like a size bigger than it should be (his natural size is a medium in men's, I'm assuming, since he's like canonically 5'9" and not really muscular). his hero costume is also a little bigger than it should be in some areas and it fits around him like a big blanket

- there are MULTIPLE reasons for this imo, but the main two are that he's A) self conscious and therefore less confident in things that fit him better, and B) likes feeling like things aren't constricting him like tight shirts do

- on the self-conscious point, he already has issues with about like 500 other things that concern himself, so why not physical???

- let me explain- his form is naturally slim, which means that he hasn't really ever been as physically muscular as the other heroes (mostly cause his quirk burns up most of his calories and he has a naturally fast metabolism), and is consistently reminded of it

- he doesn't want other people to think of him as less or weaker in the general public because he doesn't look as physically strong as the other heroes, so he wears clothes that aren't very form fitting to hide this fact and therefore avoid the possibility of criticism of is physical features

- also, you're on tumblr, the land of people who are or have been physically self conscious for whatever reason, so it's pretty safe to assume that you've worn/wear oversized clothing. do you know how comfy they are??? it's like being wrapped in a formless blanket that makes it feel as if you arent able to be subject to criticism from others. it's literally the BEST

- his closet really just consists of things that are bigger than him really, but he does have some skinny jeans and a few formal outfits that fit him properly. his figure is actually kind of cute in a way since he's more on the slim/muscular side but if you EVER tell him he looks handsome in something that's more fitting than he ususally wears he will have a slightly boosted self confidence but amplified anxiety, no exceptions

- but he doesnt really like receiving compliments to be honest, and there's a few reasons for that

- as a kid not many people talked to him so he would occasionally be subject to being outcast by others. as a child he knew that when the teachers were being too nice to him by complimenting his work or talking too him too much that it was out of pity. he felt like he was being patronized out of personal obligation to be inclusive and not in personal interest, so he still has some remnants of that mentality due to having grow up with that

- being given a serious and genuine compliment isn't something he's used to and quite frankly he might be a little uncomfortable if he doesn't know you very well

- if, however, he knows you well and trusts that your comments aren't out of spite or ill-intent, his face usually turns a bright shade of red as he either A) stutters out a nervous thank you or B) hides his face in his hands and refuses to say anything until it's subsided

- he'll usually try to compliment you back, even though its hard to hear over his incredibly soft voice. it's usually something about how nice you are or how he doesn't understand how someone like you can think that way about him, but he secretly really likes feeling like someone cares and appreciates him

- speaking of soft voices, I'm almost entirely convinced that he can sing. since he doesn't really go out with friends in his spare time since he basically only has two close ones, he usually either trains or, alternatively, sings

- its more of a subconscious thing to him to sing along when his favorite song is on, but he only does it when he's alone. the thing is that he thinks his voice is horrible since he hasn't had any extensive formal education in music and generally doesn't try that much to refine his skills manually but his singing voice is like, literally angelic

- seriously, if you get this man to sing 'Heather' by Conan Grey its like listening to some sort of ethereal being trying to lull you to sleep

- its not like he'd ever do this in public because of his anxiety and insecurities, but asking him nicely and swearing you won't tell anyone about it usually gets him to do it, albeit kinds shyly at first. it takes some working up to really, from him nervously singing gently to a song while his back is turned to you to just starting to hum along to songs by habit while you're around

- the only time he really does it to his own violation can be when you're sick (he cant say no to someone who's injured, it makes him feel terrible), when you're about to fall asleep, or even when he forgets that he's around other people and is doing some sort of chore or task around the house

- mentioning it to others makes him even more embarrassed than physically possible, and he usually covers his ears to mask the sounds of your praise about him. he hates drawing attention to himself and simply cannot Deal™ with the compliments he's receiving

- this is amplified if you're in a romantic relationship with him since, lets be completely honest here, he's literally never been in a relationship before

- I mean like, if that one girl who was with him for a week in 5th grade counts for anything, then I guess he's been in one before but other than that he has no experience

- how does he accept compliments? how do you genuinely love him?? should he dress better when around you???? oh god, do you secretly hate a bunch of things about him and only like him because he's a good hero????

- there's literal pages in his search history dedicated to is panicked questioning about what he should do if you haven't told him you love him in more than a week, what he should do if he accidentally calls you the wrong name while making out/having sex, when it's acceptable to talk about getting a plant together without seeming like he wants to get married in that instant, etc.

- for this it doesn't matter whether or not you're experienced since its good both ways! someone who isn't experienced could help ease his nerves a bit since hey, you might not really know what you're doing ether, so you're both gonna mess up. if you're a little more experienced then you can help show him the ropes and probably might help him improve in future relationships if you ever decide you don't want him anymore. both win-win situations basically

- it also doesn't really matter if you're male, female, or anything else since he's demisexual panromantic. your personality is basically the most important aspect to him, even though he still thinks you have the face of a god/goddess

- the first few weeks of the relationship are basically him figuring out when its okay to touch you and/or ask for you to touch him since he doesn't want to scare you off with how affectionate he can be

- and when I say affectionate, I mean like a full out cuddle-bug

- Tamaki is straight up touch starved so like jot that down. like high key he really didn't have much physical affection as a child and even now can’t really figure out how to do it since he doesn't have any experience with it. he still craves physical affection though, and consistently

- a good way to tell that he wants affection is that he sticks a little bit closer to you during the day. not exactly under your feet, but still in your space when he knows its appropriate. usually just giving him a long hug or hdoling his hand in private helps to alleviate it a little bit, but his favorite way to get affection is to sit down and either sit in your lap or have you sit in his lap

- the reason I say private though is because PDA makes him nervous. it already kinda draws attention to the two of you since the act of PDA is basically outing a relationship on display and that alone makes him nervous, so he usually avoids it unless its in a barely populated park, a quiet cafe, etc.

- so in public he's probably gonna stick close but not outwardly hold your hand by himself, but behind closed doors he's basically hanging on you wherever and however he can

- can you really blame him for liking you as much as you do? I mean you're patient with him, you genuinely like him, and you're so sweet that he doesn't even know what to do with himself. that, and you're super fascinating to observe

- not,,,- he doesn't mean that in a creepy way I swear. he means it like- he means that he likes watching you work because the way you move around catches his interest. part of his training is observing others and he already does it a lot due to being more of that type of person by default, so he can tell a lot about you just by watching you do simple tasks such as cleaning the floor or doing some work you need to get done

- his observance makes him a great partner when it comes to remembering small things about you like your favorite color, how you do your hair in the mornings, what your favorite band(s) is/are, and more! expect him to bring you small gifts that reminded him of you because of something you said four months ago at a very specific time and a very specific date and a very specific location

- this applies to anyone that he really knows or pays special attention to really, but you're one of those people that he subconsciously has encyclopedic knowledge of because he thinks about you so much all the time

- anyway, we're getting to the end so lets get to my favorite part of the list- miscellaneous headcanons! :

he really likes Conan Grey and Lofi remixes of songs that he likes since they're more on the calming side and less intense and help his nerves go down if he's feeling anxious

when he does get severely anxious he curls into a ball and pulls at his ears and cries. he's unresponsive for this time but usually just letting him calm down after a little bit on his own or telling him softly to listen to you helps

he likes insectariums a while lot, specifically the butterfly rooms where you can walk through and let them fly around you. for some reason they tend to be more prone to lighting on him than anyone else, even though he only really wears dark colors and doesn't make an effort to get them around him

he has some purple fairy lights set up above his bed in his room that look like glowing butterflies cause he thought they were cute

he's incredibly good at cooking complex and simple dishes since he usually has to eat large amounts of certain things for his ability, and almost always cooks for the two of you if you're staying long enough to eat with him. he's arguably one of the best home-taught chefs at UA besides Bakugo even though they specialize i different areas of cooking basically

- well, it looks like thats the end for this list! Tamaki is such a sweet dude, really. being his friend or lover is like having a cheerleader, an endlessly loyal supporter, and an eternally loving partner (and more) all rolled into one. once you've been nice to him like once he's automatically favoring you over others. it may be hard to try to help him get more comfortable with the things he's anxious with, but he's a fast learner and if it makes you happy it makes him happy too

- Be careful with him, and you've got a friend for life!

[ ~Thank You For Reading, and if you think I missed anything please let me know in the notes or in my inbox. Any feedback is heavily appreciated!~ ]

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angsty-omi · 4 years

Text

PART 2 OF UNLOCKED EMOTIONS

part 1

ushijima wakatoshi x fem!reader

lowercase intended

warnings: anxiety, cheating, cursing, some semi nsfw scenes and most importantly, pure angst.

it started out simple. toshi would make a plan to go somewhere, and rin would tag a long. she is his girlfriend after all. but you soon started to notice that she was always there. even when your families would have dinner with each other. at some point, you couldn’t take it.

there was this one night where you didn’t even wanna go downstairs because you knew they were there. sitting in your dining chairs, using your silverware, probably making out in the bathroom. you slammed your head on the bed trying to get that image out of your head. stop it y/n. you made an excuse that you were ill, which technically you were lovesick.

it wasn’t surprising that soon you and toshi faded as friends. you needed space even then, your feelings didn’t change at all. instead it was even passionate than before. before, you never felt a sense of urgency in telling him. but now you wanted him more than ever. you needed him. seeing him walking down the halls with her. hand in hand, walking down the hallway and past your locker. your chest was tight. she would stick her tongue out at you, and ushijima never noticed. “what a child,” you thought to yourself. but you couldn’t say anything, she was just trying to gaslight you so you could scream at her and ushijima would have to choose between the two of you.

continuous weeks of her microagressions at you, you learned to let that not bother you. rin noticed and had to up the ante.

during 5th period, you started feeling very anxious out of nowhere. you could feel a pair of eyes laser into you. you had asked permission to go to the restroom and the teacher gave you the hall pass. you immediately rushed to the sink scrubbing your face. repeatedly rinsing.

you looked up to your side and saw her. rin. this startled you. “do you need something?” you asked nicely, secretly about to have a meltdown.

to be quite frank, your meltdowns were rough. it was a period of time where you felt no remorse for anything. no one really knew about this condition, except for your family. it’s not worth mentioning because they’ll think you’re a psychopath and it doesn’t happen quite frequently. it’s only when you’re a ticking bomb, under lots of pressure. like.. like.. right now?

you could feel the symptoms coming and so was rin, she started to come closer to your face.

“y/n, you think i’m an idiot don’t you? you don’t think i see the way you look at him?.” now she was only a few inches away, “god you’re pathetic, you can’t even deny my accusations. you’re in love with someone who’s taken, you fucking whore. you. cant. have. him... it’s truly sad y/n, you even had a head start. all that time was wasted, and all i had to do was to just be in his presence for a day and he fell for me.” she giggled. her high pitched giggle was ringing in your ears.

“stop,” you thought, “please just make it stop.” you’d do anything. meltdown y/n was just not someone to be reckoned with. it’s not a threat, it’s the truth. not five seconds later, your clenched fist met with her eurocentric face. then you were on top of her, not even thinking just doing. just your fists continuously smashing her petite porcelain face. until there was a whole crowd, the teachers finally were aware of the situation.

soon there was an administrator holding you back. angry tears flooding your eyes. you wanted more revenge. hearing her whimpers, you smiled. this. this made you happy. then you were shut back down when you heard someone calming her down. you looked up and saw ushijima. your eyes met. his with much fury, and yours with much sorrow. “how could you do this, y/n? from now on, just leave us alone. don’t even acknowledge me. don’t look our way. don’t even breathe the same air as us.” he threatened with such a serious tone.

the whole reason you hated your meltdowns were not just the no remorse thing, but how after it is finished, the guilt hit you like a truck. leaving you in a serious depressive state. and you were suspended for two weeks. great.

you were trapped in your bedroom. after you got home from that day, your parents immediately grounded you, and took your phone. no contact with the outside world. no contact with ushijima. not like it mattered anyway. sometimes you would think to yourself if he ever thought about you like that. that if he imagined about you the same way you imagined about him. or if he ever wished that it was you next to him down the hallways. being alone with your thoughts was not fun. with no phone to distract you, or school, it was terrifying. every waking moment was lonesome.

it had only been five miserable days.

you couldn’t take it anymore. you needed a breather, and needed it now. you begged your mom to let you go on a walk, and she gave you the thumbs up. you decided to go to the nearest park.

there were very fond memories of you and ushijima together. the latest one was when they won nationals last year, and you guys celebrated on the swings, with a shot of grocery store rated tequila. very disgusting.

the park was empty. most people would find a playground depressing with no kids. but that’s how you liked it. quiet, but it’s purpose and physical attributes brought joy to people’s face. you decided to take a seat on the swings. dragging your legs back and forth, back and forth. dazed and honestly so mentally tired. you slowly started to doze off.

footsteps. you heard footsteps.

still with your eyes closed, “if i die then i die, i’m too lazy to budge,” you thought to yourself. the footsteps were getting louder. and then you hear a bunch of chains moving next to you.

“killer chains?” you thought. this bitch

no. you were wrong. those were swing chains. someone had sat next to you. still keeping your eyes shut, hoping that the stranger would just leave.

until you heard his voice,

“y/n, why did you do that to rin? how could you hurt her when you know how important she is to me? she told me that you liked me. for years. why didn’t you tell me?”

“why was he talking to me? breathing the same air as me? and also, would that have made a difference if i told you?” you thought.

“i’d be lying if i said i never had feelings for you, but, god y/n i’m dating someone now. i am a faithful man. and you know, if you weren’t just so prideful, and just told me.. maybe things would’ve been different,” he continues, still thinking that you’re sleeping.

your mom called everyone looking for you. obviously you didn’t have your phone and you still weren’t back from your supposed walk. ushijimas parents forced him to go look for you. he, previously, being your best friend knew the top three spots you’d be at.

“but they’re not,” your voice whispered with an icy tone. it was like bitter in your mouth.

his eyes widened like he just saw a ghost. he didn’t want to hear your answer. he wasn’t ready. but it was too late, it was already rolling. “and what do you mean if i wasn’t so prideful? i didn’t tell you because i was looking out for your FUTURE. volleyball is your main priority and you said you wanted to be the best. so tell me why, as your best friend, would i jeopardize that?” you slight raised your voice.

ushijima frowned, “are you seriously telling me what I want? emphasis on the I? do you think you know me or something y/n? who are you to be put into a position where you can decided what or who i want?” raising his voice even louder. “the fact that you would just assume that... bothers me, how you already planned my future... bothers me, how you always try to pry me open... bothers me, WE AREN’T EVEN DATING.” he noted.

you were mortified. “how could you even say that? sorry that i wanted you to feel? instead of being a huge cold hearted douche. i’ve only ever had good intentions and now you’re better with emotions. you even got yourself a girlfriend, ushijima.” you defend, tears swelling up in your eyes.

“oh, so i go by ushijima now? how petty can you seriously be y/n? face the facts i got a girlfriend, and you dropped me like i was nothing,” he snarled.

“what an idiot. can’t he see that it was the complete opposite” you screamed on the inside.

you took a deep inhale, “drop you like you were nothing? are you fucking serious? I WAS FUCKING IN LOVE WITH YOU, and listen, i did this for myself. seeing you with HER, everyday killed me. i deadass felt like my heart was smashed and stomped on. and it didn’t help that she was always flaunting your guys’ relationship around me. that’s why i stopped... right now, i can’t even look at you, because if i did, i would fall right back into that pit. all this pain, brought because i was in lo—” you got cut off.

by something warm. and it tasted like peppermint. it was soft, but the pressure put on it seemed rough. you were kissing ushiji-toshi. you, y/n, were kissing toshi. his large hand gripped your cheek, wiping the tears off your face with his thumb. the kiss was very passionate, like it was something you both craved, but fiery, because you guys were still angry at each other. continuously fighting for dominance, and he beat you. his tongue slipped in. you unexpectedly moaned into the kiss and it was music to his ears. how bittersweet that was, you felt embarassed. he never heard you like that. so desperate. and so needy. he trickled down to your jawline then to your neck. you tugged on his hair out of instinct, and could feel his mouth vibrate against your neck. it was intoxicating for both parties.

he pulled away, and you stayed there frozen.

he then, put his thumb on your lips, and whispered in your ear, “don’t ever say that you loved me, like it was past tense,” before moving back to his side of the swing.

you just kissed your best friend, who had a girlfriend. and no matter how much of a bitch she was, you still felt guilty nonetheless. you guys sat there in silence, still trying to process what just happened. you smiled while looking at the slides. you just couldn’t stop yourself from smiling. you remembered about your parents and how they’re probably worried, and so you got up from the swing and opened your hand out for toshi. “c’mon, let’s go home, it’s wednesday.” you smiled.

a/n; this part i’m so proud of. my best one uet. even tho i only wrote two fics. and this is just wave one. you think this ended on a happy note? lmao okay. stop reading at part 2 if you want a happy ending. don’t force yourself to feel the pain. like, follow, or repub for another part or to see more of me.

#haikyuu angst #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu fanfiction #ushijima x reader

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cassyapper · 3 years

Note

Apart from Jotaro and Kakyoin (unfortunately) what are your other favourite jojo ships? I’d love to know

OHHHH POST YOUVE OPENED A CAN OF FUCKING WORMS LET ME GO OFF

i have a disease that makes me invested in the joestars’ happiness to an absurd level so bc of that a lot of ships i enjoy involve,,,one joestar,,,but there r others i swear let me just start rantingi

jonaeriwagon is soooooo so so cute it involves the most wholesome and purehearted jojo characters and it makes me smile so wide. erina and jonathan r childhood sweethearts and erina helped jonathan back on his feet after he lost EVERYTHING in the first fight against dio at the mansion. jonathan and speedwagon are best FRIENDS OKAY!! SPEEDWAGON LITERALLY CHANGES HIS ENTIRE WALK OF LIFE BECAUSE OF JONATHAN AND THE KINDNESS HE SHOWED HIM. i know erina and speedwagon didn't interact a whole lot in part 1 but like they're BEST. FRIENDS. in part 2, so much so joseph thought something was going on between them. i bring this up bc then it’s proof that this ship is full of ppl who just care for each other so much. they just adore each other and love each other and I'm crying

caejoseq is my FAVVV OKAY they're so stupid and in love. i love love love love imagining caesar and suziq falling in love slowly when he’s first training as lisalisa’s student and like they never do anything about it cause they're both so shy (yes caesar is shy bc these feelings r more genuine romance rather than sexual, unlike his other flings) but it’s obvious enough they both understand to a degree the other knows they like them sjkd;dn cuties. but then JOSEPH BARGES IN with his stupid hamon-breathing mask and his stupid blue-green eyes and his stupid lax personality combined with the moments he takes thing seriously during which is works hard as fuck/smart as fuck. he just completely sweeps them off their feet they had no fuckin warning whatsoever. so after a bunch of messy and intense pining from the both of them they eventually sit down and are like okay. we should do smth about feelings actually. so they Do and it ends with the polycule and I'm (”: smiling so wide they loved each other do u understand

AVPOL!! DO NOT GET ME STARTED OKAY it’s the survivor’s guilt and cherishing and longing for me sis!!!!!! I'm just saying both have pasts (araki said avdol’s backstory was so sad he didn't wanna put it into sdc so that’s where I'm drawing this from) that leave them focused on things other than their direct happiness/their own futures but then they connect and even though they're so fucking different they are SOOO different they're still the same on this level and i think!!! that would be everything for them finally someone who understands...listen I'm ging to go insane do you hear me. avdol loves this stupid fucking Frenchman so much because said stupid fucking Frenchman just cares so much about everything. meanwhile polnareff is in love with this fuckin god of a man who’s patient and kind and funny and a skilled enough fighter it’s stated explicitly in canon “oh avdol’s the one we need to worry about most not jotaro” like fuck polnareff is ENAMOURED WITH HIM!! AND I DONT FUCKING BLAME HIM!! and just dude. when pol thinks avdol came back to life and he starts crying tears of joy and hugs him so tightly and avdol just laughs but hugs him back imfmfjfj help. help. help. help. help. POLNAREFF LITERALLY ASKS HIM OUT ON A DATE THIS IS FUCKIN!!! CANON!!! i cant do this stupid fuckign idiots i love them

JOSUYASU!!!!!! TWO GUYS BEIGN DUDES WHAT MORE COULD YOU WANT??? like listen we have such a SLEW of wholesome moments between these two the opening to the tonio episode is literally just them going on a date OKUYASU WAS GONNA FEED JOSUKE AND JOSUKE DIDNT EVEN FUCKING QUESTION IT OKAY THAT’S KINDA GAY THAT HAS ROMANTIC FUCKING UNDERTONES!! and them fighting against shigechi idk man i just love their dynamic it’s such a pleasant bro relationship and i love them. but even beyond the wholesome moments when okuyasu fucking dies josuke loses his SHIT!!! DO YOU HEAR ME HE GOES FUCKIGN INSANE!!!!! HE’S SCREAMING AND CRYING AND BEGGING OKUYASU TO WAKE UP AT THE EXPENSE OF HIS LIFE FUCKIGN HAYATO HAD TO SHRIEK AT HIM TO MOVE HIS ASS OUT OF THE WAY OF KIRA’S BOMB LIKE!! listen the recklessness and furiousness of josuke’s tactics after okuyasu “”died”” haunts me. he didn't want to live in a world without him and meanwhile okuyaus LITERALLY TRIUMPHS OVER DEATH BECAUSE HE DOESNT WANT TO LEAVE JOSUKE’S SIDE HELP ME GIRL FJKF;NDJN FUCK. fuck. so yeah i lvoe them

fugionara... any combination of this ship makes me go nuts okay okay. the dynamics in the bucci gang will forever leave me in tatters but THE ONES BETWEEN THESE THREE IN PARTICULAR. FUCK ME UP. it’s the healing it’s the animosity it’s the regret it’s the trying to figure out your own mentally ill self while also the world ur in with these ppl u love so much and I'm going crazy okay okay okay. idk how to quite put my feelings for them in worlds i just have a lot of them and they are fuckin. overhwelming. just narancia for example meant EVERYTHING to fugo as evidence by purple haze feedback (literally every other paragraph is a flashback) and the only time giorno cries in the anime is when narancia dies. meanwhile fugo saved narancia’s life and giorno knew when to take narancia seriously as opposed to a joke. and then THE WHOLE DISCUSSION ABOUT GRIEF FUGO AND GIORNO HAVE IN PURPLE HAZE FEEDBACK? listen something about these three make me go insane and feral

foolymes like okay. okay. I'm shaking like a dog trying not to go overboard on this justification just listen to me. hermes and jolyne first find someone to trust in prison in each other. jolyne cares abt her enough that she first learns how to use stone free’s string-on-a-telephone ability bc she wanted to watch over hermes. hermes loves nd respects jolyne that after she wakes up from getting a stand shes like “hm. wonder where jolyne is” and goes to find her before all that bullshit happened just hey okay LISTEN TO ME!! and then they get foo they save her it’s just like fucking kakyoin they give her another chance and they show her what relationships are supposed to be like (fulfilling) they enjoy her company and make her laugh and she makes them laugh in return ohmy god EVERYTHING FOO FIGHTERS DID WAS FOR JOLYNE AND HERMES DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME!!! the marilyn mansion debt collector arc. the kiss of love and revenge arc. foo fighter’s death. I'm going to eat rocks in an attempt to stop feeling oh my god JOLYNE DIDNT EVEN BELEIVE FOO FIGHTERS WAS DYING AND THEN SHE GOT HYSTERICAL LIKE “BUT WE CAN JUST REMAKE YOU RIGHT WE HAVE YOUR STAND DISC??” SHE DOESNT WANT HER TO GOOO HELP ME HELP ME. I'm in tatters these three girls loved each other so fucking much they just wanted each other safe and they DESERVED to be safe and happy together but araki is fucking evil

jotaweather I KNOW THIS IS A CRACK SHIP I KNOW I KNOW I KNOW DONT FUCKIGN LOOK AT ME JUST HEAR ME OUT. jotaro and weather r both of similar demeanor that is quiet soft-speaking intimidating strong big aura of sadness coming from them. both have powerful stands and both had real fucked up luck in the love department. i also hc both to be autistic so that’d be another similarity. i jus think them settling down together after everything went down in a stone ocean au would be very soft and sweet yknow? they wouldn't even necessarily start it off in a romantic sense but they just take the time to try and heal with each other and eventually it just kinda veers that way. yeah

gyjo for OBVIOUS reasons like are you serious? gyro changed johnny’s fucking lfie from the SECOND they first interact johnny begins to push himself and tries to reach further/go further. and in turn johnny shows gyro you cant always be a wet blanket you need to take a stand this both helps his resolve to save the kid AND helps him to take the measures necessary to get to his goal. like gyro would not have been able to find johnny in the “who shot johnny joestar?” arc if he hadn't gone through, say, the ring roadagain arc with johnny first. listen man their relationship is literally the catalyst for this whole part it’s the driving force i just. they love each other they love each other thank you goodnight I'm emo

yasugap is just so so so so sweet it makes me so happy,,like okay josuk8 literally has a daydream where all that happens is he gives yasuho some candy and she eats it and is like “aw josuke this is so good thanks!” and she smiles at him and that’s IT THAT’S THE DAYDREAM 😭 listen they just love each other so much and i am emo. they literally SAVED EACH OTHER OKAY LIKE yasuho pulls him from the dirt and like she mentioned during the flashback chapter with the hairpin and her dad, it was also the other way around....saving josuke also saved herself and just LISTEN TO ME. THEY LOVE EACH OTHER. it’s a very sweet and healthy relationship and i hope to god araki makes it canon please sir ill bite you

anyway yeah these are the main main ones ? that i ship ship. like you'll get me excited if u mention them. anyway this post has gone on long enough so I'm gonna end it here by saying i really do have a thing where the relationship focuses on healing/helping one or both parties to save/improve themselves

#THIS IS SO MESSY IM SORRY I DIDNT PROOFREAD ANYTHING #uhm but yeah these guys. drive me nuts!#jjba #jojo spoilers #nothing too heavy but just in case #cass cries #iwannagrill

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drprettyboyspence · 4 years

Text

You’re a Hero, Spencer Reid

Dr. Spencer Reid/reader

Summary: Late one night Spencer comes home from an especially difficult case. His girlfriend Y/n persuades him to talk about it. Inspired by the JJ/Will episode “Sick Day” (Season 12 Episode 2) This takes place during Season 15.

words: 4.9k

warnings: mentions of violence, mental illness (basically the amount of violence in a regular cm episode), angst, very very light swearing, nothing else to my knowledge!

a/n: I honestly love that JJ and Will scene so I decided to right one about Spencer. This made up case took we way too long to come up with and honestly I know way too much about lobotomies now lol, but I hope you enjoy!! :)

It’s 12:30 am, Spencer Reid trudges up the stairs to his second floor apartment which he shares with his girlfriend of 5 years, Y/n Y/l/n. His body on the verge of collapsing but his mind hyped up on adrenaline, Spencer pulls his key out of his pocket before unlocking the door, excited to finally be home after an energy-draining case. He knows he should sleep, the team very rarely gets much sleep during a case and the last one had been short but intense, so it’s been about 48 hours since Spencer has slept if he’s being truly honest. Spencer feels as if he’s in a trance, he’s exhausted but he just knows he won’t be able to sleep if he tries. His exhaustion leads him to crash into a chair near the table, causing it to scrape against the floor loudly. Damn it Spencer thinks, hoping he didn’t wake up his girlfriend but knowing he probably isn’t that lucky.

“Baby, you’re finally home! I missed you so much!” Y/n says, appearing out of the shadowy hallway, obviously having just woken up. She gives Spencer a hug and notices the way he holds on to her extra tightly, like he does when he’s feeling stressed or overwhelmed.

“I missed you too Y/n, so much.” Spencer whispers, still enveloping her in a tight hug. The last case had been harder on him than he’s willing to admit, but holding Y/n close to him makes him feel safe, he can’t lose her if he just never lets go, right?

“Are you okay Spence?” Y/n asks after Spencer finally lets her go. She knows the tells, she may not be an FBI profiler but she can tell when Spencer isn’t okay, and right now is unfortunately one of those times. She can see the way he holds her just the smallest bit too tight, she can see his eyes, droopy from exhaustion but darting around the room at the same time, still hyped up on the adrenaline from the case, and the eye circles that have become a signature look for her boyfriend are even darker than usual, showing he’s been without sleep for likely more than a day.

“I’m fine Y/n, really, you know how the job is, it's never easy.” Spencer replies, in a manner that shows Y/n he wants to talk about it, but he doesn’t know how to ask and doesn’t want to be a bother.

“Are you sure Spence? We can talk about it if you want to-“

“I said I’m fine Y/n! Please drop it!” Spencer snaps back at Y/n, regret immediately flushing over his face. He doesn’t yell at her often, and they hardly ever fight, he says he’s seen too many couples separated by tragedy to waste time on silly arguments and quarrels. “I’m sorry sweetheart, I didn’t mean to snap at you, I think I’m just high-strung and exhausted.”

“You can’t keep it in Spencer, it will all build up inside and stay with you, you know that. We need to talk about it if it's weighing down on you this heavily, I’ll put the coffee on, it looks like we won’t be sleeping for a while.” Y/n says warmly, walking across the kitchen to switch on the coffee machine. “Okay Spence, start at the beginning…”

40 hours earlier

“All I’m saying JJ is that you aren’t even giving science-fiction a chance, its not all-”

“Spence I honestly don’t care, I refused to go to comic-con with you back in the day and I still refuse now, but you can take the boys, they’d love to go.” JJ and Spencer abruptly finish their conversation as they walk into the round table room and see the rest of the team staring back at them with solemn looks on their faces.

“Let’s get started please.” Emily says promptly as JJ and Spencer take their respective seats at the table, everyone focusing their attention on Garcia.

“Alright my crime-solving friends today’s devilishness comes to us from the one, the only, sin city itself, Las Vegas, Nevada.” Long-time members of the team glance sympathetically at Reid, knowing how difficult it can be for him to go home, especially now that his mother has been moved closer to Virginia. “Those pictures on your tablet now, they are of Dolores Smith, the fifth victim in a series of what appears to be lobotomies gone wrong.” The team winces, remembering the last time lobotomies had come up in a BAU case.

“The fifth victim? Why weren’t we called in earlier, lobotomies aren’t exactly a common occurrence, even in Las Vegas.” Rossi asks.

“This unsub has been driving his victims out into the desert, even crossing state lines, victim number two, Susan Atkins, she was found in Utah, almost 400 miles away. They simply didn’t put it together until the last two victims were found in Las Vegas.”

“Garcia, anything connecting the victims, they seem to be of different sexes and ages.” JJ asks.

“Yes, this is where it gets tricky, all five victims were schizophrenic patients at Bennington Sanitarium.” It was like a chill went through the room.

“So they were all patients at a mental hospital?” Luke says, clearly confused about the strange energy currently in the room.

“Tell them Spence” Emily urges.

“Bennington Sanitarium isn’t just any mental hospital, it's the mental hospital my mom was in.”

The coffee machine beeps, interrupting Spencer’s telling of the story, he moves to pour the cups. Y/n places her hand on his knee before he can move out of the chair.

“Sweetheart, let me do it, you just sit here and try to relax, you’ve been through enough, the least I can do is a pour a damn cup of coffee for you.” Y/n picks out Spencer’s favorite mug, a Doctor Who one she had bought him for the first Christmas they spent together. They both inhale deeply over the cups of steaming liquid, as good as gold on a late night like this, the 1:20 am flashing over the stove only showing as a reminder that this night won’t be ending any time soon. “Alright, continue.”

36 hours earlier

“So here’s what we know. All five victims had recently been released from Bennington Sanitarium, they were schizophrenic, having been residents of the hospital for ten to twelve years.” Luke starts the discussion as the jet begins its descent into Las Vegas.

“Why were they released?” Spencer responds.

“Garcia, any information you can give us?” Tara asks the computer screen where Garcia’s face pops up.

“My friends, unluckily because of the discreet nature of mental health records, the mistress of all things technological is having a little bit of trouble narrowing in on the information you search for, but from what I can see, all five victims were taken out of the hospital after responding well to medication, I haven’t gotten to those records yet but I will hit you back as soon as I hear anything, peace out.”

“You okay Reid?” Emily asks Spencer as quietly as she can, knowing that this case is surely striking a nerve with him, all these victims sharing a very big part of their life with his mother, she probably knew some of them personally.

“I just have a bad feeling about this, and I tend to listen to those feelings very carefully. Let’s finish this one quick and get back to Quantico.”

“You heard the kid, let’s make quick work of this case and put this bastard away before he can even think about taking another victim.” Rossi states, earning nods from the rest of the time.

“I hate to burst your bubbles my friends, but a sixth victim has just been found in Las Vegas once again, 63 year old Barbara Sullivan.” Garcia popped in.

“Alright change of plans everyone, Matt go to the 5th dump site, Tara and JJ, you girls will go to the most recent dump site, Luke and Rossi will go the morgue, try to get any information you can about the lobotomies, Reid and I, we’ll go to Bennington and get insight into why each of these victims were released and what medicines they were on at the time.

“Sorry to interrupt, but why was Garcia having such a hard time finding the medical records, isn’t that type of thing usually a breeze for her?” Y/n asks. She’d become quite close to Garcia in the years she and Spencer had been together and there was nothing that girl couldn’t do.

“We were having trouble with that too to be honest, mental health records are usually rather secretive, but nothing a hacker like Garcia wouldn’t be able to crack in an instant. Can I have another cup of coffee baby?”

“Of course Spence, anything you need.” Y/n say before filling up another coffee, glad he’s finally relaxed enough to talk freely about whatever happened on this case that was so clearly affecting him.

34 hours earlier

“Dr. Reid, good to see you again, I wish we didn’t have to meet under these circumstances though.” The main doctor at Bennington says, having known Spencer over the years Diana had spent at the hospital.

“Dr., hello. This is BAU Unit Chief Emily Prentiss, we want to ask you some questions about the victims if that would be possible. I know it’s-”

“Excuse me Dr.! Oh I’m sorry I didn’t mean to interrupt! Wait, are you Dr. Spencer Reid of the Behavioral Analysis Unit? I’m a huge fan of your work. Work, oh god you must be here about the recent murders, tragic aren’t they?” A rather hyper man interrupts Spencer. Spencer awkwardly and reluctantly shakes the hand of the stranger, both him and Emily puzzled about this strange interruption.

“Mr. Robbins, if you would, please leave us alone as the federal agents and I have some important details to discuss. Actually, you may go home for the day, your services are no longer needed, see you tomorrow.” The high-strung man nods eagerly before waving once more and leaving. “I’m so sorry about that Dr. Reid, that would be the new data collector and organizer, Mr. Robbins, a bit hyper for my taste, but that man is a wizard with anything technological.” Just as Emily is about to resume questions about the victims, Garcia calls.

“What’s up Garcia? Anything you can tell us?”

“Emily, my sweet, sadly I come once again bearing bad news. A woman has just been reported missing, 54 year old Dana Reeley, schizophrenic, reported missing by her son 20 minutes ago, says he left the house for no longer than 20 minutes, came back to an empty house no signs of struggle.”

“Is it possible his mother is confused, left the house on her own?” Spencer asks, remembering times his mother had been so confused that she went off on her own.

“Definitely not, the doors had protective covers, the mother couldn’t get out by herself, it had happened before. By the way, I’m still having an extreme amount of trouble trying to figure out why the victims were taken out of the hospital.”

“Oh I can help you with that, each of the victims were taken out of this establishment due to the opinions of each of their respective children that they would be better taken care of under their own roofs.”

“Well, uh- thank you unknown male voice that I’m assuming is the Dr. running Bennington Sanitarium, that’s helpful information.”

“Dr. thank you for your time, but it seems we should we getting to the police station.” Emily says, realizing that this probably isn’t a good place for Spencer to be, and seeing his face becoming increasingly distressed due to the implications of the information the Dr. had just given them, if they’re going to need him to use his brain to solve this case they need to get out of here.

“Woah wait one second Spencer, all of the victims were patients at the same hospital that your mom spent years at, they were all schizophrenic, and they were all taken out of the hospital by their children shortly before their murder, that’s a-“

“Hell of a coincidence, I know, and you know me, there’s no such thing as coincidences. This was weird though, like a very small chance that this could be about me, but it was seeming more and more like I was to be more involved with this case than I had thought.”

24 hours earlier

The rest of the team had gone to bed hours ago, but Spencer is still awake, lying in the hotel bed staring at the ceiling. He debates calling Y/n, he tries not to bring his work home, he tries his hardest to keep the purest thing in his life away from the horrors and despair he sees everyday. He doesn’t want to put two and two together on this case, he doesn’t want to believe that this could all be because of him, all these victims, their lives ended early, simply because he decided to join the FBI those many years ago. It had happened before, Professor Rothschild back in 2009 and he doesn’t like to think about it, but Maeve was in the center of a case inspired by him as well. Spencer knows he’s overreacting, he knows he can’t blame himself, he didn’t kill those victims, and he didn’t force the hand of the unsubs, all he can do now is get some sleep so he can use his IQ of 187 to stop this son of a bitch, stop him from killing anyone else, ever.

The sound of a stomach rumbling interrupts Spencer this time.

“Spencer, when was the last time you ate? God knows how long its been since you slept and its probably been even longer since you ate. Tell me how long Spence, please.” Spencer looks down guiltily, knowing that Y/n is going to be mad when he utters his next words.

“I don’t know um I’m having trouble remembering-“ Y/n’s face tells it all, the man with the eidetic memory can’t remember when the last time he ate was. “It was yesterday afternoon, there were bagels at the Las Vegas police station, terrible ones but I ate one of those, figured I shouldn’t be drinking five cups of coffee a day on an empty stomach.”

“Yesterday afternoon? Spencer it’s 2:30 am!”

“Okay so the day before yesterday afternoon I guess, sue me Y/n!”

“Spencer Reid I know you aren’t trying to tell me you haven’t eaten in over 36 hours! You wouldn’t do that to me right? Sweetheart, you need food! What would you like?” Y/n notices that it’s strange, right now in this moment Spencer looks like a small child, shy and embarrassed.

“Um, could you…make pancakes?” Spencer quietly asks. Y/n could laugh, Dr. Spencer Reid, renowned FBI agent who will walk into an interrogation room no problem, is scared to ask his significant other to make pancakes.

“Pancakes is it? Sure thing sweetheart I’ll make pancakes.”

“With chocolate chips?” Spencer adds.

“Now you’re pushing it.” Y/n retorts back with a giggle, beginning to make the batter, if Spencer hasn’t eaten in 36 hours he deserves better than some nasty boxed pancakes, that’s for sure. “So what happened next Spence?”

17 hours earlier

“Good morning Garcia, any information for us?” Luke asks in the morning.

“Oh newbie how I wish it was a good morning, another victim has been taken, 43 year old Richard Saxons, his daughter reported him missing when she woke up to an empty house, hasn’t seen him since last night.” The team looks at each other with confused glances.

“Another victim? But he hasn’t dumped the last victim yet, this is a major change in M.O., do we think the last victim is still alive, we need to rethink this.” Emily explains.

“Okay why a lobotomy? That can’t be the easiest way of killing the victims.” Matt asks.

“Here’s the thing, this unsub isn’t necessarily meaning to kill the victims. Lobotomies began in the 1880s when Swiss physician Gottlieb Burkhardt removed parts of the cortex of the brains of patients with auditory hallucinations and other symptoms of schizophrenia. Later in 1935 Portuguese neurologist Antonio Egas Moniz is credited with inventing the lobotomy. There are numerous negative effects and since the procedure literally involves drilling into the brain to slice up pieces of the frontal lobes, if it isn’t performed by a doctor there’s a very high mortality rate.” Spencer of course rattles off.

“That makes sense with what the medical examiner told us, the lobotomies were crudely done but there was no reason to believe the unsub is a sadist, no signs of torture, the bodies were often dumped with what could be taken as remorse.” Rossi adds.

“Okay so we’re looking at an unsub who’s trying to cure these victims of their schizophrenia.” Tara states.

“We need to deliver the profile.”

“We believe our unsub is a white male of medium build, we believe this because all victims have been caucasian and although there have been cases of serial killers crossing racial lines, overwhelming statistics show he’s most likely white.” Luke begins,

“He has come into contact with all eight victims including the two currently missing, he knew all of them suffered from schizophrenia and were recently released, he waited until they were no longer patients at the hospital , meaning he most likely has a close connection to Bennington Sanitarium and could be tied back to the crimes, if he works at the hospital it puts him between the ages of 25 and 50, he could be the janitor, a cook, any job like that.”

“We don’t believe he has official medical training because the manner by which the lobotomies were performed lacks the professionalism a doctor could use, but he also demonstrates knowledge of schizophrenia and lobotomies in general, which shows he isn’t dumb, most likely can hold down a job.”

“Important as well, we don’t believe this unsub necessarily means to kill the victims, he is attempting to help cure these victims of their schizophrenic symptoms, he may have experienced a loss caused by mental health issues or believes the treatment each of the victims received was inadequate.” Tara finishes the profile, all of the team stepping back into the other room.

“Hey Garcia you’re on speaker with the whole team here” Rossi answers his phone,

“Hey guys, this is just getting more and more strange, I finally got into the hospital records, it really seemed as though someone was hacking me from the inside, but I finally got in and here’s the kicker, all of the records of the victims have been deleted, who would even have access for that.” Garcia says.

“Okay we’ll looks into that Garcia, can you start looking at anyone who fits our profile, has access to the records at Bennington, and has purchased items needed to perform an at-home lobotomy in bulk over the last few months, if the missing woman has somehow survived, this unsub needs at least elementary medical equipment in order to keep her alive, hopefully we’ll see it in his credit history.” Spencer instructs to Garcia before Rossi hangs up the phone.

“You know who might have some knowledge about all of this, that guy from the hospital, I know the Dr. osaid he’s only worked there a few months but maybe he’s seen something, or maybe he’s noticed someone snooping around the online files, we need to go back to the hospital, Spence lets go.” Emily says.

“So Dr., you’re saying Mr. Robbins hasn’t been to work since you sent him home when we were here last? That’s odd. What did you say his name was again?”

“Anthony Robbins, like I said before, he’s an odd guy but does good work, no one around here knows him that well though.” Spencer and Emily nod their heads to each other before Emily calls Garcia,

“Garcia I need a background check on an Anthony Robbins, stat, and send Rossi and Luke to his house, we need to talk to this guy fast, he knows something.”

“Agents, are you thinking he could have anything to do with this? I can’t imagine Mr. Robbins doing any harm to any one, especially not the patients at this hospital, he is always the kindest to them, the schizophrenia patients in particular.” Another call from Garcia interrupts Emily and Spencer before they can answer.

“Things are starting to look a little weird, Anthony Robbins, 37 years old, native of Las Vegas, was born to Linda and Christian Robbins, he had a happy childhood, no signs of trauma or abuse that I can see. He doesn’t have a record, juvie or adult, but his life did change when he was 10.”

“What happened then Garcia.”

“Reid stop interrupting me, you know how I like to tell my dramatic story. When Robbins was 10 his 7 year old brother Charlie was diagnosed with schizophrenia, when he was 18 he was put into care at a mental hospital, not Bennington but a close by hospital.”

“Any interest in alternative schizophrenia treatments?”

“As a matter of fact my dear genius yes, Robbins has been publishing articles for years, and I’m looking at his recent purchases right now, Robbins has been purchasing health care equipment as well as tools needed for an at-home lobotomy, Anthony Robbins is your unsub.”

“Hey Rossi, change of plans, the guy’s our unsub. You sure? Alright you guys stay there in case he comes back, the guy must have a secondary location.” Emily says before hanging up her phone. “Alright Reid that was Rossi and Luke, Robbins isn’t at home and it looks like he left in a hurry, there’s gotta be somewhere else he’s working, Rossi also said he wouldn’t be able to hold anybody in that tiny apartment, there’s no room and neighbors would hear.”

“Okay let’s think, we profiled he may have suffered some sort of loss. Garcia do you see any type of loss in this guy’s recent history.”

“Charlie Robbins, his schizophrenic brother, died two months ago.”

“That’s right before the murders started, that’s gotta be the stressor.”

“Garcia what hospital was the brother treated at?”

“Uh, it looks like a place called Smith Sanitarium, he was there was there for almost 20 years.”

“Smith! I know where that is, it’s scheduled for demolition actually, closed down about a month ago and has been abandoned since, it’s only about a 15 minute drive.”

“That’s the secondary location, let’s go Reid.” Emily says, the two agents rushing out of the room.

“Spence, the pancakes are ready.” Y/n says, pouring syrup over the stack, just the way Spencer always likes them.

“Thank you so much Y/n, I don’t deserve you. I know talking about the case is supposed to make me feel better but I just feel like an idiot. I mean, he was right there the first day we were at the hospital, it was so obvious, why didn’t I see it?”

“Spencer stop that right now, you can’t blame yourself for any of it, you met that man for less than a minute when your mind was focused on researching the victims, there was nothing about him that should have screamed 'mad scientist performing lobotomies to mourn the loss of his recently deceased schizophrenic brother’, you can’t blame yourself.” Y/n reassures her boyfriend while reaching up to rub his shoulder. He begins eating the pancakes in front of him, groaning slightly at the taste of food after going so long without eating.

“I love you Y/n, not just because you’re amazing at making pancakes, seriously these are so good, but because you somehow always know how to make me feel better.”

“That’s my job babe, personal pancake chef and make-Spencer-Reid-feel-better specialist, now tell me what happened next, it seems like you’re almost at the end.”

10 hours earlier

“Alright Reid, the rest of the team and Las Vegas police are on their way and will meet us as soon as they can, but you and I are going to be on the scene first, they’re significantly further away than we are, we’ll have to wait for them of course, this man may not be meaning to kill his victims, but he’s killed at least 6 people nevertheless.” Emily says, driving as fast as she can through Las Vegas towards the abandoned mental hospital, Reid quietly looking out the window. Emily is strapping her vest on when she sees Reid walking towards the hospital alone.

“Reid, no! I told you, we need to wait for backup, it’s too dangerous!”

“Emily you know how much I respect you, but there’s two victims in there and if they’re on the brink of death, an extra 10 minutes is not something we have, I’m going in.”

“Damnit Reid” Emily whispers before running after him.

“Anthony Robbins, FBI put your hands up”, Reid loudly speaks as he walks into the hospital with his gun in the air, immediately seeing two victims in chains.

“Dr. Reid, I’m so happy you’re here! Let’s put the gun down so I can show you the medical masterpiece I have accomplished.” Mr. Robbins says while holding what looks like a grenade in his hand.

“Mr. Robbins I know you think you’re doing what’s right, but this isn’t what your brother would have wanted, these people did not ask for this, they were doing well with the medication, now I need you to put down the grenade and let these people go.” Sirens can be heard from outside and Emily appears behind Reid as well, noticing the grenade in the unsub’s hand, but Reid’s eyes are completely focused on the female victim, a woman with extreme similarity to his own mother.

“It’s such a shame Dr. Reid, I thought you of all people would understand, seeing as you went to Mexico to research alternative medication for your own schizophrenic mother.”

“That was different Mr. Robbins, I was attempting to research homeopathic remedies for dementia, not performing life-threatening surgeries on mentally ill adults.” Emily can tell that Spencer is getting angry, this case being too close to his personal life, they should be stroking this guy’s ego, not angering him.

“Mr. Robbins, Emily Prentiss here, I think what you have done is magnificent! I actually want you to come with us, the rest of the world needs to see this!”

“No, too late, Dr. Reid doesn’t appreciate my genius, so no one will be allowed to. Sorry, agents.” The man says before dropping the grenade. Emily grabs Reid, pulling him out of the hospital while he’s screaming, still not taking his eyes off the female victim. They make it out of the hospital just as it explodes, Reid staring back into the burning building in disbelief while Emily looks at the rest of the team, shaking her head.

At this point in the story Spencer’s voice cracks, tears start welling in his eyes. “I should’ve saved them, it was completely my fault. He was a classic unsub with a god complex and I did exactly what they teach you NOT to do. I let my emotions get in the way and three people died because of it.” Spencer gets out before he starts crying completely. Y/n enveloping him in a hug and allowing him to cry into her shoulder.

“Oh Spence, shh, it’s okay, that was not your fault. That man was holding a grenade, did you force his hand? Tell him to kill those victims, no.”

“But we should’ve been able to save them, we profiled him exactly right, and I ruined it all by raising my voice at him, plus I didn’t wait for the backup we needed, I was too focused on saving a woman who reminded me of my mom.”

“Spencer Reid, I need you to listen to me right now, look at me, okay, you can do that right? Look at me sweetheart.” Spencer lifts his head to look at Y/n, his teary eyes matching her sympathetic ones filled with love. “You, Spencer Reid, are a hero. You’re my hero, you’re a hero for your team, and you’re the hero of all the people you save every single day. Today was not a good day, but how many victims would that man have killed if your team hadn’t intervened. Today you didn’t save everyone, but if you stop now, you’ll never save anyone ever again.” Spencer and Y/n sit at the table holding hands in silence for longer than either of them care to count, before Y/n hears soft snores, realizing Spencer has fallen asleep in her arms, exhausted from the past days and the emotional release of reliving it all in their kitchen. “Come on Spence, let’s go to bed” Y/n gently shakes him awake and helps him to their bed, knowing that what Spencer needs is a good night’s sleep and a lot of love, which she is more than happy to give him, for the rest of her life even.

#spencer reid #dr spencer reid #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid angst #spencer reid fluff #criminal minds season 15 #criminal minds #reader insert #y/n #criminal minds imagine

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bellamyblakru · 3 years

Note

Hello!! Can I request “I should have been better” for Merthur with Arthur POV and like Merlin being so done with Arthur constantly making fun of him and calling him useless that he actually quits being his manservant and starts ignoring him and being cold to him, and then Arthur really misses him and practically begs him to come back? I wasn’t sure if I just had to post the prompt and the ship or actually add more details so there’s that hahaha I’m sorry, I’ll be happy with whatever I can get

I really like your writing btw ❤️

omg hello! this prompt was perfect, don’t worry!! it was really fun to write🥺 i appreciate you sending one and liking my writing🥺i adore u!! i hope this doesn’t disappoint 💞

✨here it is on ao3 and ill post it here as well✨

Arthur watched over his parchment as Merlin tripped over another pair of his boots that he left on the floor last night and growled out, “Merlin. You are pathetic, why are you even in here? I didn’t call for you, did I?”

He meant for it to come out teasingly, but it fell extremely flat. Arthur was stressed, fed up with his group of elderly councilmen that never agreed with him, and, honestly, he needed to release some of the pent up anger that simmered violently beneath his skin.

So, he didn’t stop the unwanted stream of words that forced their way out, “And while I’m at it, would you please clean this room already? You’ve been stomping around here for hours and have accomplished nothing. I should just fire you, really. What good is a servant who barely does his job? You’re useless, Merlin, truly.”

Arthur scoffed, finishing his rant, his body feeling like it was on fire while still staring blankly at the speech before him, not noticing how still Merlin had gotten. After a few moments of uncomfortable silence where Arthur couldn’t even pretend to read, Arthur looked up at Merlin’s unmoved form. The man was standing completely still, facing Arthur’s door, his shoulders tense.

Arthur saw Merlin’s jaw move from this angle, “What did you say?”

Merlin lifted his chin, sharply spinning on his feet towards Arthur, “I quit.”

No mistaking the words now. Arthur’s mind halted, “What?”

Merlin still did not move from that spot between Arthur’s desk and the door, “I quit, Arthur.”

“Why?” Arthur couldn’t comprehend it. Merlin never gave up on him, even during their darkest hours. Why would he back out now?

Merlin let out a cold laugh, “Why?” he mocked. Arthur saw the lifeless smile grace Merlin’s face. He stared at his servant, never recalling seeing such a look before in the decade he has known him. Merlin was all smiles, laughs, and happiness. This Merlin? This Merlin Arthur had never seen before.

He didn’t like it.

Merlin let out another empty laugh, “Why, asked the king!” Another chuckle, “God, Arthur. I’m done. With you, with Camelot, with everything. It’s not worth it any more.”

Merlin’s smile fell off, and Arthur saw how pale his servant was. Arthur doesn’t think he looked at Merlin in days, or else he would have noticed before now, right? What was happening?

Arthur leaned back in his chair, and griped the edge of his desk to hide his trembling hands, “Then go. What’s stopping you?”

Merlin’s eyes widened a bit, and Arthur saw how his body trembled from head to toe, and he didn’t know if it was anger or fear making his servant shake—he didn’t want to know.

“Okay,” he heard Merlin mumble, “okay.”

Merlin turned around and walked slowly to the door, and Arthur didn’t think he’d actually go through with it. It was always them against the world. Merlin wouldn’t walk out on them, no matter what.

When Merlin got to the door, his hand hovered over the handle. Arthur let go of his breath that he didn’t know he was holding when Merlin’s hand fell to his side, he wasn’t leaving him. He would never leave me.

“Arthur,” Merlin whispered, still facing the door, “I’m not coming back.”

Arthur’s brain couldn’t understand the words fast enough as he let out a small gasp of surprise when Merlin finally opened the door and raced out, shutting the door behind him with a loud thud.

Merlin had actually done it. He left him.

Arthur stared at the door, expecting Merlin to come back any second. This was a ruse. It must be. Merlin would never leave him.

Arthur let go of his desk when he saw how white his knuckles had gotten. It was late now, and he had an early morning. Shaking off the dreaded feeling filling him up, he stood up on shaky legs.

Merlin would be back in the morning. Every time they had fought before, Merlin always showed up the next day with a sheepish smile and a rare pastry in hand as a “we are idiots and let's move on” olive branch. But this felt different than the others. More...final.

Arthur shook the thought from his head, he was being ridiculous. Merlin always comes back, why would this be any different? Merlin knows how Arthur directs his anger at him sometimes, he must after working for him for ten years, and how Arthur never means what he says. He knew that, Arthur thought repeatedly, stumbling towards his bed.

Arthur sighed, laying down, remembering that he still never finished that speech on his desk and he frowned thinking, not for the first time, how unimportant it was compared to what happened with Merlin.

Arthur was exhausted, physically and, now, mentally as shut his eyes tightly, trying to stop the sound of Merlin’s cold laughter from echoing in his head, the sight of Merlin’s paling skin, and the noise of the door slamming shut in the wake of his dismissal.

Arthur shook his head knowing that tomorrow everything would go back to normal. It must.

—————

Arthur woke up to sunlight streaming into his chambers. He stretched lazily, yawning as he did so. He forced his eyes open, trying to figure out when he finally fell asleep. He felt slightly less sluggish, but his mind was still tired. He blinked at the offending sunlight, which he realized, jolting out of bed, that the sun was almost to it’s apex.

“Merlin,” Arthur grumbled, throwing on some clothes, “the idiot must have overslept. Guard!”

The guard outside his room immediately stepped in, “Yes, Sire?”

“Can you get someone to fetch my useless manservant? I believe he is late and has some explaining to do.”

The guard smiled, “Of course, sire.”

As he backed out the door, Arthur paused in his frantic searching for boots when last night’s conversation hit him again.

I’m not coming back, played in his head, but Arthur chuckled, like Merlin would leave his side from something as simple as a petty fight.

He continued putting on his clothes, and when he was done, he frowned at the closed door. He grabbed the papers for today’s meetings, and he decided that he would pass Merlin’s chambers himself on the way to the throne room.

Walking through his castle, Arthur felt like it was lacking energy today and he couldn’t figure out why. The servants rushed past him, without looking up, as normal, but the air felt thick with something Arthur couldn’t name. His frown deepened when he saw that Gaius’s room was opened already, and he walked right in without knocking.

“Gaius?”

The man in question looked up briefly from his book and looked back down, “Sire.”

Arthur stopped closer to the main table, confused by the man’s uncharacteristic coldness, and he cleared his throat uncomfortably, “Where is my manservant?”

Gaius stopped pretending to read as his eyebrows shot up, making eye contact with Arthur, “Sire, he quit. He told me that he told you.”

Arthur’s breath caught, his nonchalant expression changing to disbelief, “What?”

Gaius’s face portrayed no emotion, “Yes, sire, if that is all?”

Arthur stumbled back, “Oh.”

This wasn’t happening. Arthur turned around quickly, running towards the knights’ chambers, knowing if Merlin wasn’t with him or Gaius, Lancelot or Gwaine would be the next choice.

He knocked on Gwaine’s door first who answered after Arthur’s violent knocking became incessant.

“What?” Gwaine asked groggily, probably exhausted from his night shift.

“Have you seen Merlin?”

Gwaine immediately straightened up, his eyes narrowing, “No? Why? Did something happen?”

Arthur backed up, “No, don’t worry about it.” And when Gwaine opened his mouth again, Arthur simply turned around and walked to Lance’s room.

The door was ajar, so Arthur lightly pushed it open to find Lance with his head in his hands, and his elbows on his knees on his bed.

“Lance?” Arthur whispered, listening to how Gwaine’s footsteps joined behind him.

Lance whipped his head up at the sound, and Arthur saw how red-rimmed his eyes were. Arthur’s breath whooshing out.

Lance got up, anger pouring out of his body in almost tangible waves, and Arthur backed up hastily. Lancelot never lost his cool demeanor.

Arthur hit into Gwaine who grunted and pushed Arthur behind him—placing himself in front of the extremely pissed off Lance.

Gwaine placed a hard hand on Lance’s chest, “Woah woah, steady now. How about we use our big boy words before we start punching princesses, hmm?”

Arthur tried to hide his flinched when Lance looked at Gwaine then back to him with murder in his eyes. Arthur knew only one person who could get Lance this worked up.

Lance roughly said, “Move, Gwaine. I need to punch something and I want it to be Arthur’s face.”

Even Gwaine blinked at the words, taken aback at the fury lacing Lancelot’s every movement.

“Gwaine, it’s okay-“ Arthur didn’t get to finish as Lance pushed Gwaine aside and promptly punched Arthur in the face. Arthur hit the ground, feeling blood coming out of his nose, as he cradled his face. He didn’t flinch as Lance landed another one before Gwaine threw him to the side.

Arthur stared at the ceiling, feeling numb. He deserved that, he mused, and probably deserved more.

Once the ringing stopped, he vaguely listened to Gwaine pushing Lance back.

“Lance, get a hold of yourself! Tell me what happened and I’ll probably join you.”

Lance was panting, his knuckles bloody, as he stopped thrashing against the hold Gwaine had on him, “Arthur, why don’t you explain what happened?”

Arthur ignored him, and Lance let out a dark chuckle, “No? Of course not, staying silent when you need to explain yourself is your strong suit.”

Arthur imperceptibly flinched this time, his numbness not leaving his body as Lancelot’s words felt like another blow to the face.

Gwaine coughed pointedly at Lance’s silent seething, “Alright, can you tell me already?”

Lance cleared his throat and forced his stare at Gwaine, “Arthur was an asshole again, not surprisingly, and Merlin..” Lance’s eyes watered a bit before he visibly shoved it back down, “Merlin had enough. And honestly? So have I.”

Arthur sat up then, his heart pounding, as the words clicked. He was losing his knight as well.

Gwaine sighed, “I knew this day was coming. I’m coming with you. I already had my things packed knowing this was inevitable.”

Arthur choked, “You’re both leaving.”

Gwaine had the decency to look sheepish, “Sorry. Merlin comes first, and well? Whatever you did, you probably wouldn’t want me around after I find out exactly what went down. I can’t imagine it would be pleasant.”

Arthur shut his eyes, rubbing his forehead, “Lance, wait, I’m coming too.”

Gwaine put a hand out when Lance tried to go at him again, “No.”

Lance shoved Gwaine off, “Hurry Gwaine, we are leaving soon.” And with that, Lancelot turned around, shoving his clothes in a pack.

Gwaine grimaced, walking around Arthur and hurrying down the hall back to his room. Arthur didn’t move.

“I’m sorry,” he said weakly to Lance’s back, “I didn’t—“

“Yeah,” Lance shoved his boots on, “you never do mean it, do you? Arthur,” here Lance sighed, his anger bleeding out of him, his exhaustion clear to see, “do you know how much Merlin does for you? How much he loves you?”

Arthur blinked again at the unexpected sadness in his words as Lance plowed on, “That man is the most selfless human being I know. And he can take a hit, trust me. He can take a knife in the stomach and barely blink at his own pain if someone else was hurt. I don’t even think you understand what you did.”

Arthur slowly nodded his head no.

Lance slouched onto his bed, staring at his hands, “Arthur. I have never seen the pure hopelessness that drowned in Merlin’s eyes when he came to me last night. He seemed so lost.” Lance shook his head and looked back up at Arthur, “In all the years I’ve known him, he always had purpose. Purpose at your side, always. When he told me what happened, not for the first time this week I might add, the look of devastation on his face, Arthur, I can’t even describe it. And it wasn’t the fact that you yelled at him again, he knows you do that without truly meaning it. You have been misplacing your anger at him the minute you met him. No, what pushed him over the edge was the fact that you did nothing to stop him from leaving. ‘Then go,’ really, Arthur?”

Arthur’s heart was beating unsteadily as he watched Lance wipe a hand down his face. He fucked up, royally.

Arthur’s breathing picked up when the enormity of the situation finally caught up with him. Merlin had left, and it was entirely his fault. He deserved to be alone. He had been horrible to the one person who meant more to him than Camelot, and the only words he had for him was to leave. To leave his side. Arthur put a hand to his ribs, his breaths coming in faster, the space where Merlin should be felt like a void—Merlin was out of reach, no longer his.

Was he ever his?

Lance finished packing and stood up a few moments later. Gwaine arrived right when Lance started walking to the door.

Arthur looked up at his two knights, and even though he knew better, he still felt betrayed by their leaving. But he had no right to keep them here when the one person tethering them to Camelot has gone.

They didn’t look back as they walked out the door and left, and Arthur didn’t move for hours.

—————

Arthur found his way back to his chambers, his hands empty, his heart straining, and his head pounding.

They were all gone.

Lance, Gwaine, Gwen, and Merlin—gone. He found out about Gwen after he entered the throne room later that day and it didn’t surprise him. Her and Merlin were best friends, and her and Lance were practically married—so, no, it wasn’t a surprise. But, it still hurt.

Arthur walked to his window that faced the courtyard, the moon already high in the sky. He made it through an entire day without Merlin and he has never felt more empty in his life. Merlin was the only constant in his life. He was the light that drove away Arthur’s darkness. Merlin’s laughter was sometimes the only thing that kept Arthur going, and now? Now, Arthur had driven him away. Like everyone else in his life.

Sleep didn’t come easily that night.

—————

He woke up late again, he realized, as forced himself to leave the bed. His soul felt like it was cleaved in half. How can anyone go on like that?

He walked slowly to his desk, frowning at the small sigil laying on his papers. He picked it up, flipping it in his hand. His mother’s sigil was his most prized possession, until, that is, Merlin stumbled into his life and forced his way under Arthur’s skin and, most importantly, his heart. He gave it to Merlin when he realized that, of course, figuring that his most prized person should always hold something dear to Arthur.

It felt cold in his hand. There was no note with it, to Arthur’s great displeasure, as he plopped down at his desk. He was an idiot. Last night, he replayed the conversation over and over again. The way Merlin reacted to his words, the jaw clenching, the stiff way he barely held himself, the cold person who replaced his sunny Merlin.

Arthur noticed his shaking again and let go of the sigil. This wasn’t right. This wasn’t how he was meant to rule. His rule meant nothing if Merlin wasn’t at his side.

And with that thought, he grabbed the sigil, a small pack, and raced out his chambers.

—————

Arthur ran to the stables, “How long ago did they leave?”

The stableboy blanched at Arthur’s appearance and stuttered out, “A few candle marks ago, sire.”

Arthur nodded, putting his saddle on Llamrei, and hopped on, “If anyone comes looking for me, tell them I’ll be back before nightfall,” and with that, he raced out.

The wind felt sharp against his face as he galloped towards Ealdor, feeling, for the first time in a long time, that he was finally making the right decision.

It didn’t take too long to find them, actually, as they were cleaning up the camp from the night before still about two candle marks away from Camelot. At Arthur’s approach, Gwaine unsheathed his sword and pointed it at him.

“Arthur,” Gwaine said angrily, coming closer, “If you come any closer, I will skewer you. I promise you that.”

Arthur jumped off his mare, his hands raised in surrender, “I just need to talk to him.”

Gwaine growled, walking towards him, when a pale hand grabbed his arm.

“Gwaine, it’s okay,” Arthur heard Merlin’s say, his heart skipping a beat at the sound. He missed that voice with his entire being and it’s barely been two days.

Gwaine scowled, backing down, as Merlin walked gently around him towards Arthur towards the edge of the camp.

Merlin walked past Arthur, who just stared at his servant, to Llamrei. He started petting his mare, who basically purred against Merlin’s ministrations. Arthur wasn’t surprised, she always did prefer Merlin to him.

Merlin looked up at Arthur’s silence, the question in his eyes.

Arthur cleared his throat, “Merlin, I-“

Merlin narrowed his eyes when Arthur couldn’t come up with the words, and he sighed, “Arthur, go home.”

Shaking his head, Merlin went to go around Arthur when Arthur’s hand shot out to stop him. Merlin stared at the hand grabbing him, his body promising violence if Arthur didn’t let him go.

Arthur spun towards him, and he felt tears unwillingly forming in his eyes. He cleared his throat again, “Merlin, I can’t go home. It’s not home anymore.”

Merlin shook off Arthur’s grip, folding his arms over his chest as he stared back at Arthur expressionless, “What?”

Arthur shook his head, angry at himself for being unable to speak how he feels, “It’s not home without you, Merlin.”

Arthur swore he saw Merlin soften a bit at that but then Merlin closed himself off again, scoffing, so Arthur quickly went on, hoping his heart would be able to beat normally after this, “I should have been better. Merlin, you deserve better. And I’m sorry. I should have ran after you, I should never have said for you to leave, because I never want you gone. I fucked up. Big time. I was stressed and angry and you were there and fuck,” Arthur wiped his face, “Merlin. I’m sorry! I was an asshole. I’m constantly an asshole to you, I know, but I’ll be better. I promise. You don’t deserve the way I treat you. You can do so much better than me—Gods, I know you can. But,” Arthur took a deep breath, unable to look at Merlin, “But, I need you. You make me a better person. You give me a purpose. You make me want to live, Merlin, and I need you at my side.”

At the end of his speech, he finally gained courage to look up at Merlin. Merlin was silently crying and Arthur’s heart broke as he whispered, “You aren’t coming home, are you?”

He heard Merlin’s small gasp and Arthur went completely motionless as Merlin flung himself at him, wrapping him in a bone-crushing hug.

“You’re an idiot, Arthur Pendragon,” Merlin whispered into his neck when Arthur’s shock turned into him squeezing Merlin back, “An idiot who I love, unfortunately.”

Arthur buried his face into Merlin’s neck, “I’m so sorry, Merlin, please come home.”

Merlin pushed back Arthur a bit, so he could see Merlin’s face, as both of Merlin’s hands found themselves on either side of Arthur’s face, “Alright.”

Arthur made a wet choked sound as he smiled for the first time in days, “Yeah?”

Merlin smiled, his tears falling freely as he stared back at Arthur, “Yeah.”

Arthur laughed, pulling Merlin into another hug, “Never again, Merlin, I swear on my crown. I love you.”

Arthur pulled back from Merlin when he heard a cough from next to them.

Lance had one hand on his sword, “Arthur, if you ever hurt Merlin like that again, I will make sure we are long gone by the next morning where you can never find us again. Are we clear?”

Arthur didn’t hesitate, “Yes. I understand,” and Arthur watched as the relief flooded through his knight.

Lance pulled Merlin into a hug and whispered something into his ear, and when they pulled back, Lance smiled at Arthur, “You should thank Gwaine for slowing us down, sire, or we would have been in Ealdor by now.”

Gwaine pouted, “I was doing it on purpose, thank you very much. I knew the princess would come crawling back without his other half.”

Merlin blinked at his friend, then a small smile of disbelief formed on his servant’s face. Arthur tilted his head at the knight, “You knew I would come?”

Gwaine looked at him condescendingly, “Princess, have you met you? You wouldn’t last a day without Merlin. Clearly,” he pointed at the extremely disheveled Arthur, “I was right.”

Arthur looked down at himself and frowned, “You’re right.”

At that, Merlin faced him again with surprise written on his features, “He is?”

Arthur sighed, grabbing Merlin’s hand to intertwine their fingers, “Yes, how many times do I have to say that I am nothing without you at my side. I couldn’t think straight, or eat, or sleep, without knowing you were safe, and that you hated me.” Arthur shivered at the thought, “Merlin, you are my other half. Of course I can barely last a day without you!”

Merlin’s tears were back, to Arthur’s horror who thought he fucked up again, but as Merlin’s lips crashed into his, and with Lance, Gwen, and Gwaine’s clapping and whistling in the background, Arthur finally thought that maybe everything would be alright in the end.

#ashley writes #bad things happen bingo #merthur #merthur fanfiction #merthur fanfic #lovely anon #i spent hours writing this LOL i hope its okay #i’ll probably reread it in the morning as well for grammar #i read it like five times hopefully its okay #bbc merlin #its also like almost 3am hehe #merlin

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princessrainbows · 4 years

Text

Genuine Laughter

Title: Genuine Laughter

Warnings: Mentions of; Depression, Suicidal thoughts/attempts(maybe?) Alcohol intake. (The reader is the depressed one out of the paring!!) Mention of the reader’s Quirk being Teleportation. Ends with fluff

Words: 2k+

A/N: I’ve been wanting to write something for a while now. Seeing so many of the Keigo x reader blogs that I currently follow rn, has hugely inspired me to write up a small drabble!

Paring(s): Keigo Takami | Hawks x Fem! Reader

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Depression is like battling a 200 foot Dragon every day. It’s not something so easy to overcome. Many people don’t even know when somebody they know have depression whenever it’s brought up in a conversation.

They’ll think that everything is fine and dandy, and that the person who mentioned the mental illness is trying to find attention when, in reality...They just want to be loved, cared for, and helped. They don’t want their thoughts to be true, they want to be saved from them.

So, when you, ever so casually, mentioned that you felt like dying one day to Keigo, it caught him off guard. It really bothered him that somebody so smart and so powerful just...Wanted to give it all up. “Hey hey, what’s the matter dove? Something bothering you” He asked, noticing that you where....Off, and have been for a long while now that he thought about it.

That night stuck with you. The fact that he picked up on your casual self-loathing habits of talking about death so casually like that, surprised you to say the least. Most of the time, people around you would either scoff or just ignore you, or Meme your mental illness, thinking that’s what you wanted to do since, that’s what you’d always do to hide the pain you felt all the time.

Being a hero isn’t that easy. Especially with a quirk as powerful as your own, your in constant demand all the time. Always teleporting everywhere to save people and give back-up to pro-hero’s who need it. And now that you where sought out by The Commission people who raised Hawks, you’ve become his body guard so to speak. Sure, he might be fast, but, you can match up in speed thanks to your quirk.

So, not only are you in high demand, you never get to catch a break! Hell, you didn’t even want the spotlight! So, this made you start becoming depressed. You where so busy all the time. You barely got any real decent rest, you hardly have time to yourself for a nice bubble bath, or read a cool book.

You did your best to hide everything from everybody. You’d play it off and fake-laugh with people that would question whether or not you where really okay or mentally sane at the time of the conversation/interaction.

But, you didn’t take into account for Hawks noticing it. He noticed everything. He noticed your facial expression visibly changing with every minute of the day depending on your mood. He’d notice the way you’d get snippy at different people if you’d woken up to a particularly bad mental day for you. He EVEN noticed that one day when you locked yourself up in your bedroom at his place around 8:30pm at night. He heard your weak sobs underneath the blanket.

The man was like a Dog with his hearing. he heard and saw everything. But, he knew that if he asked, you’d joke it off and turn down his help.

It wasn’t until when things got REALLY bad for you was when he stepped in and demanded that you explained everything to him. You had three drinks that night after poppin’ in quite a lot of Tylenol pills for your severe Migraine you where having that same day. You just wanted it to stop so you could be Okay for once.

After some prying, you finally told him what’s been happening. You told him that you’ve been battling with Depression and your Suicidal thoughts for the past several months. You even mentioned that your PTSD was starting to act up again, which just made things worse for you in the end.

He didn’t show any emotion. he just...Stared at you, in pure shock. You’ve been battling this battle by yourself this entire time that the two of you have been seeing each other, you’ve kept EVERYTHING to yourself until you blew up and tried ending it all.

It terrified him. He didn’t do anything out of worry that he might make it worse for you, but also, he felt like he should have done something, ANYTHING to have helped! “...Oh god........I’m so sorry” was all that he could really say before you passed out from being so damn tired, drunk, and dizzy from the Tylenol pills you took that day. Falling right into his lap, all he did was let you stay there and fall asleep.

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That happened two months ago. You never really FULLY changed but, you noticed that you weren’t as bad as you where back then. Actually, you made a little chart marking down the Really Bad Days, from the Good/Okay days, and you’ve never had a single Really Bad Day since then. You’re days from two months ago to now have just been Meh/Okay and sometimes, even Good!

Today was different for you. When you woke up, it was around 11am, you felt...Light. Like as if you where floating in the air. But, it wasn’t a bad feeling by any means! Which lifted your spirits up quite a bit.

You reach to your cell phone and check your stuff, ignoring the majority of it except for Keigo’s messages (and selfies) and your Boss’ message, which woke you right out of bed! You blinked at it with your glasses on and notice a message from him: [”You’ve been invited to a Pro-Hero exclusive Gathering. Along with Hawks, Endervour, and many others. Dress nicely, and behave.”] Blinking several times, you groaned, falling back on the bed with an arm over your eyes, pouting in annoyance, “I hate fancy parties...” you sighed out loud.

Today was a really good day for you and your mental state. You weren’t smiling by any means but, you weren’t frowning either. You did your usual routine before heading out to work, since you’re with the Commission now and not some Hero agency, you’ve been given permission to have your own schedule (with the help from Hawks so that way he could keep an eye on you of course.)

“---And since I’m in a good mood today....I’ll give you a minute of a head start to try and run.” You say before grinning as you watched the group of bad guys try and flee with the stolen loot from the local store you where shopping at for a Brunch. “Too Slow..” You commented, teleporting right in front of them, grabbing the enemies uniforms and rolling your eyes as they tried running.

The police where called, and you where thanked for your efforts, “Wow! You look happy today y/n! Something happened?” The officer noticed your mood and commented on it, you shrugged, giving a slight chuckle, “Nothing in particular! I just feel good today that’s all~” you cheered before waving them off, seemingly having left them dumbfounded by your response.

You had a really good day of just, doing whatever you wanted! Holding your drink in your hand with a small snack in the bag in your other hand, you walked by a clothing store with several outfits in the window. You noticed a very nice looking dress with a paired Tuxedo beside it, shrugging you walked into the store, you DID need a dress for tonight’s Por-Hero exclusive Gathering after all! Even if they weren’t your favorite thing to wear.

“Hi there miss! Welcome to our store! is there anything that I can do for you?” You where greeted by a worker who wore a very nice business suit, you took a pause from your drinking and looked at her outfit, “Actually...Yeah. Can I ask where you got that outfit? See, I’m heading to a fancy ball and stuff...But, I’m not that much of a Fancy Dress type of person.” You replied, gesturing your jaw at her outfit, as to not point since that would’ve been rude.

“Oh sure! We actually just recently added these types of outfits to out store so, we’d be happy to have a pro-hero wear one!....You are Pro-Hero Y/N correct?” You nodded in response, sipping on your drink. You followed the business woman to the stores selection and looked around...The shop was nice despite how cold it was.

It didn’t take you that long to find what you wanted. Coming out of the change room in front of the business woman, you stood there with a blows, a nice pair of black work pants, fancy black shoes, and a nice jacket to cover yourself with. Once you changed out of it and went to the cash, you purchased the outfit and thanked the woman for the help.

You returned home with your now, not so hot Brunch and outfit in tow, getting ready for the fancy ball party for tonight while eating at the same time. You weren’t positive that you were going to have a good night but hey, you where invited! You couldn’t say no! Especially since you where in a good mood, you figured ‘eh, why not? Keigo’s gonna be there anyways so~’ and went with it.

A few hours had past, and it was time for the gathering. You rode in a somewhat fancy vehicle to the location of the party. Getting out of the car, you could already tell that eyes where on you. You ignored them, and thanked the driver and went into the building.

Using the elevator, you went up to the highest floor, which was a party room dedicated to pro-hero’s and their parties. You were slightly nervous since your mental state was still...Not exactly the best but, a lot better than a couple months ago. Putting those thoughts aside, you walked into the entrance area. You saw two doors both opened with two guards there, one stopped you and looked down, “Ma’am, this is a Pro-Hero party. Please show proof that you’ve been invited or we’ll have to remove you from the premise.” You sighed in annoyance, knowing that the guy was just doing his job. You pulled out your Hero License and showed it to him. He nodded and allowed you in.

Walking into the main area, you stood in awe, ‘They really went all out huh?’ You thought to yourself, staring up at the fancy decorations that seemed to blend in well with everything else in the room. You took in the atmosphere, not used to the Party life At All, staring off into the area as you listened to the soft music playing on the small stage area. “Wow! I didn’t think you’d show up of all people!” You hear a familiar voice from a loud woman behind you. Her grin was wide and she was excited to see more people coming to the party, “Yeah....The Commission had invited me over. I’m assuming it’s to keep an eye on hawks since he’s been invited as well...” You automatically noticed the wingless man near the farthest end, standing beside Endervour, laughing it up with the small group that gathered there for the night.

“...You know y/n. Most of the public knows your not a party person. Just imagine the press when they get a hold of this! ‘Y/N seen at a fancy Galla ball with Pro-Hero Hawks by her side!’ haha, they’ll get a good scoop for that one~” She chuckled, patting you on the back shoulders gently before walking towards the crowd giving them a wave. You groaned...You really hate the media being in your face all the time. So, something like this would DEFINITELY, be a pain in the ass to deal with.

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The party continued on for the night, you talked and hung out with everybody at the party. You also did your job and reported to your boss at what was happening with Hawks, telling them that he was behaving well and having a blast. Once you sent in the report, you decided to spend the rest of the night with Keigo, walking up to the small group of pro-hero’s that he was telling a story too. “---And even tho I was trying to make the poor woman laugh, safe it to say, that didn’t help my situation at all. it just made the other’s more angry--” The group chuckled with him, and you just rolled your eyes.

The party went on like this for hours. By the time you where ready to go back home, it was around 12am. You and Keigo spent the last hour going home. He was just a tad bit drunk and a little bit silly as well, trying to handle him when he’s a bit drunk was hard but, you somehow managed.

“Hey.....Hey y/n....” He mumbled, trying his best to keep what little composure that he had left. “Yes Kei?” You asked, grunting while you placed him on your couch, grinning, he pulled you down into a cuddle, you didn’t mind it at all. Since you were quite tired from the party, having been out for a long time on your feet for the most part.

Keigo wasn’t really talking per say. He was mumbling random words in between some cute sweet nothings to you as he held you close to him. “Hey...y/n?.....” He whispered in your ear, first telling you how much he loved you...And then, telling you a silly joke that was, actually pretty funny! You couldn’t help but snicker then laugh in his chest, burying your face in it, you snorted off and on until you could breathe from the laughing again.

Keigo blinked in surprise. he managed to make you laugh.....Like, genuinely laugh at one of his jokes. He didn’t put any thought into it at all, he just went with it, and that made you laugh until you snort-laughed in his chest.

This made your night. Just that one time with Keigo on the couch, making you laugh. You felt at ease, happy, even safe. You don’t want to forget this night, you want to cherish it for the rest of your life.

With Keigo being your partner, your depression and suicidal thoughts where a little bit easier to handle. Because you were no longer by yourself dealing with them anymore. You had Keigo to help. And you knew that this man would do anything to make your life, a little less painful to deal with.

#Uhhhh oops?#This wasn't supposed to be so long lmao?#hawks x Reader #hawks x y/n #depression mention #suicidal thoughts mention #attempt of suicide mention #I didn't get a beta reader bc I still wanna practice on my own before I get to that point #Mind you...If I do fanfictions like this. it won't be all the time.

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emma-nation · 4 years

Text

Unfinished Business - F!Sam x MC Fanfiction

Summary: When Sam Dalton is caught in a scandal, Anna Schuyler is the only one who can help her. But will her former nanny be able to leave the past behind?

"Samantha Dalton was like one of good dreams you don't want to wake up from. You close your eyes, you force your brain to remember every minor detail, you begin to imagine what comes next... hoping to be in control. You want to fall asleep again. You want it to continue, but it's too late now. You're wide awake."

Genre: Angst, Romance

Notes: Hell yeah, three ongoing multichapter fics. I'm so screwed 😎

Tag List: If you wish to be tagged in future chapters and fics of this pairing, let me know.

"I can't do this anymore, Sam," Anna did the best to avoid her eyes. With the right look, they could melt the ice that had formed around her heart for the last few weeks. One look could make things warm again, but only for some time. Time enough for her to open up and fall in love once more, immediately followed by the realization all of that was nothing more than an illusion. She'd be fooling herself again.

This time she just had enough. It was the end.

"Anna, I'm sorry," the CEO didn't know very well what to say. Despite her usual calm voice tone, Anna could sense the nervousness in her words. "But Sofia is my wife."

"And I'm only the nanny."

"This is not what I meant. We just... we allowed ourselves to get too carried away. It was good while it lasted but now, we must face reality."

It was just a dream. Samantha Dalton was like one of good dreams you don't want to wake up from. You close your eyes, you force your brain to remember every minor detail, you begin to imagine what comes next... hoping to be in control. You want to fall asleep again. You want it to continue, but it's too late now. You're wide awake.

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Anna collected her stuff from the desk, giving one last emotional glance to the classroom in front of her. Before leaving for Summer, her fourth grade students had prepared her a small surprise. A little party with cake, snacks and a "Thank You, Ms. Schuyler" sign hanging in the back of the room. They also drew her some cards, which she saved for when she got home. It could become very emotional for her workplace.

"Anna," the principal appeared at the door, catching her attention, "I came here to congratulate you. It was your first year as a Science teacher in our school and you captivated all the kids, as well as their parents."

"You're welcome, Mrs. Rockwell," Anna smiled. "I love working with children and now I see I made the right decision taking this job. This year was the most rewarding experience of my life."

"So we can expect you to return next year? I'm sorry, the parents keep me asking this question all the time."

"Absolutely!"

"They'll be glad to hear that. Have a nice Summer, Ms. Schuyler."

After living in New York for the last two years, Anna was finally ready to drive to her mother's home in Rhode Island. They both had saved enough money for a road trip across the country. Her mom deserved to live that dream after caring for her ill step-dad for some long months, until his recovery.

When she arrived at her apartment, her best friend, Jenny, was still at work. What meant she'd have enough time to finish packing without having to stop to hear the latest gossip about the company she worked for, or unsolicited dating advice.

"But first," Anna pulled the small pile of cards from inside her purse, "let me cry my eyeballs out."

And she did. She learned how to love and connect to each one of her students. Those cards need to be kept in a special place, where she'd always be able to read them and remember the sweet moments she shared with those children.

Grabbing a box in her closet, Anna accidentally came across a picture of the Dalton twins. She didn't even remember where she had placed it, when she was getting rid of everything related to that family. All she wanted was to keep those boys' memory out of sight. She missed them too much for words. They were the reason why she accepted that job as a teacher in first place.

"I wonder how different they must look now," she thought. "They're already nine."

With a tightness in her chest, Anna placed the picture back in its secret spot.

"I still can't believe you're really going!" Later that evening, Jenny complained in the living room, where she divided her attention between painting her nails and watch TV.

"Well, it's time for you to come with terms with that. I'm only returning by the end of Summer," Anna responded from the kitchen, while she finished washing the dishes.

"Anna, we could have the Summer of our lives. Think about all the hot men and women you could meet, all the parties we could attend..."

"I promised my mom, okay? We've been planning this trip since I finished college."

Jenny was suddenly teleported back to her side, wrapping her arms around her like a clingy teddy bear.

"But I'm gonna miss you," she spoke with a mournful voice.

"I'll miss you too," Anna assured her. "I'll keep you updated on every detail. Don't worry."

"I know your mom is going with you but... Anna, it's time for you to find someone. Even if it's only a one night stand."

"This is not the main purpose of this trip. This isn't about my sex life, I want my mom to relax."

"It has been two years, for god's sake."

"I know. And I'm glad I've set my priorities straight, I live with my best friend in a nice apartment, I got this amazing job and I love my students. I don't need anyone else in my life to be happy. I am happy."

Jenny rolled her eyes, crawling back to the couch. She should know it was useless to bring up this subject. Anna's heart was indefinitely closed for balance. If that was one thing she learned from her last experience was that shouldn't open up so easily.

"Shut the hell up!"

Jenny yelling so loud in the living room, made Anna almost drop the plate she was holding.

"You need to come here right now and watch this," she added.

"I'm sorry, Jenny. You're not getting me into that steamy TV show you're always obsessing about."

"It's a really good TV show, okay? But it doesn't matter at the moment. You need to watch the latest news!"

Jenny was actually watching the news. Nothing good could've happened to spark that sudden interest. That had to be something stupid or celebrity gossip. Against her best judgment, Anna approached the TV.

"If that's something silly, I'll kill you for interrupting my tasks!" Anna's mouth suddenly dropped when she read the headline on her screen. "Oh."

"Dalton Enterprises Scandal: CEO Sam Dalton accused of insider trading."

Images of police officers closing the company and carrying out boxes and computers for further investigation appeared on the screen. As well as Sam being conducted to the officer's car while journalists and photographers chased after her.

"Karma's a bitch, huh?! Mrs. Perfect is going down!"

Anna didn't answer to her best friend. She was still trying to process what her eyes were watching. Her heart seemed to stop for a second as the camera focused on Sam's face. In just a few seconds, her eyes had the desperate need to capture every detail. She wanted to know if she looked any different, if she had changed her hair or even her clothes. She wanted to know if some make-up was trying to hide the bags under her eyes for lack of sleep, or if she had been so happy with her marriage she was appearing even younger. Any minor signs that would make her mind create a possible scenario of what Sam's life could be right now.

She hadn't seen or heard of Samantha since quitting her nanny job. Though it was difficult, she managed to avoid any news related to the Dalton Enterprises CEO. They didn't part in good terms, yet one thing she was sure about, Sam was a decent person. She would never get involved in such a scandal. She had a reputation to keep.

"I... I don't know what to say," Anna was finally able to mumble some words. "Honestly I don't think she'd do that. There must be a misunderstanding."

"Anna! Are you seriously defending her?! After everything she's done to you?"

"No. I just..." Two years had passed since the wedding. Anna realized a lot could've changed. Sam could've changed. She had changed. "Maybe you're right."

As she lied in bed, millions of thoughts started running through her mind. What would be of the boys? Who would have their custody in case Sam went to jail, her parents or Sofia? Could Sofia or Robin have any involvement in that scandal?

Anna didn't get any sleep that night. When she woke up in the morning she was still exhausted.

The apartment was silent and peaceful. Jenny had already left to work. She was alone. No one would witness or even judge her next action. After preparing herself some coffee she sat down and started to research more about the insider trading scandal.

"I'm not interested, only curious," she mentally assured herself as thousands of articles started showing on her laptop screen.

Not only Sam was being accused to cheat on Sofia with another woman, but she tried to cover up the affair by giving her mistress a check to purchase Dalton Enterprises stocks. The launch of a new and revolutionary product in the coming weeks would surely grant her some cash. In the following days of the launch, the woman and her husband made millions of dollars.

"What have you gotten yourself into, Sam?"

The trials were scheduled for the next few weeks, and in case of conviction, the CEO could spend over 20 years in prison.

Only a couple of days later, Anna was in the garage placing all her luggage inside the trunk. She had to leave immediately, for her own sanity. The scandal was a great reason to stay away from New York City. The television wouldn't stop talking about that subject, or show the face of the woman she once loved.

"Dammit," entering the car, Anna noticed she had forgotten her cell phone upstairs. The latest events had impacted her more than they should. She was constantly distracted and anxious, secretly following the last developments of the case.

She picked up her phone, returned to the car and turned on the radio. Playing some loud music always helped her to relax. The crowded streets and the buildings slowly started to stay behind as the road approached.

"And I'm here, to remind you of the mess you left..."

Anna sang aloud, completely involved by the song. And then, her eyes almost missed it. Through the rearview mirror she saw a blur moving on the back seat.

"What the..." she needed to remain calm and act cautiously. The roads were impressively calm and deserted, a perfect scenario for murder, like in every horror movie. She slowly slipped her hand into her purse, grabbing the pepper spray. "I'm not one of those chicks who die so easily."

In one sudden fast move, she stomped on the breaks and turned around, spraying whoever was hiding behind her seat.

"Anna!" She was able to take a better look. The figure was wearing a hoodie and sunglasses. "Stop, please!"

She was able to recognize that voice even among millions of people. The years hadn't erased it from her memories.

"S-Sam..." Anna pulled the disguise, confirming her suspicions, "what are doing here? In my back seat?"

"I can explain."

"You better."

She returned to the driver's seat, attempting to relax. Samantha Dalton was inside her car, for some very screwed up reason.

"I know it's strange," and now she had moved to the passenger seat, being at a short distance from her. Close enough to notice how her presence was making her nervous. Close enough to notice she wasn't breathing. Close enough to see her hands shaking. "But I needed you to hear me."

"You could've called, Samantha. Or even showed up at my door! You nearly gave me a heart attack."

"You wouldn't answer. Would you?"

And that was it. One look and all the walls melted away. Her heart started beating faster, reminding her of the moments they shared two years before.

"No," Anna answered, fighting those feelings. "I wouldn't."

"I need your help, Anna," Sam touched her arm briefly, but enough to know she'd cause impact. "I'm in serious trouble and you're the only one that can help me."

#playchoices #the nanny affair #sam dalton #sam dalton x mc #sam x mc #f!sam dalton x mc #f!sam x mc #the nanny affair fanfiction #tna fanfiction #unfinished business #choices stories you play

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