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wickednerdery · 3 years

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Title: Save a Mobius, Ride a Loki Author: @wickednerdery Fandom: Loki, Rick & Morty Pairing/character: Loki & Mobius, Rick & Morty Rating: FRM Summary: “Mobius, no!!” Notes: This is a continuation of The Great Loki and something that’s been stuck in my head since before Loki premiered I’ve been dying to write, so I have. Knowledge of Rick & Morty is helpful, but not required. This story has adult content, language, and violence. For length, etc, there’s a Read More:

Loki scans the desert, wary he’s ended up where he began; where the TVA first collected him. The whinnying of horses on the wind and outline of an American frontier town in the distance indicates this is unlikely, which is a relief. He takes a few steps, then stops and turns back. “What are you doing?”

Mobius sighs as he fusses with the TemPad. “Trying to figure out when and where we are.” He stumbles through the sand as he attempts to keep up with the god’s long strides. “There’s something wrong with the specs, the settings maybe…” Then a thought blooms in the back of his mind, compels him to ask. “You didn’t do anything to it, right?”

“Of course not.”

“Loki…” It’s gentle warning, reminder. The TVA isn’t done with him, he’ll not simply let Loki wander off.

The tone, implication of it, offends. “I didn’t do anything to your blasted device!” He storms off with his own suspicion and settles under a Joshua tree to examine the gun he lifted from the old man.

Mobius plops beside him, undoing tie as the god shifts to share the shade. “I’m sorry I accused, it’s just…” He’s Loki.

Loki ignores in favor of moving on. “I think the portal gun moves across time and space. We’re in another dimension entirely, see?” He shows the tiny dials, settings, on the device. “Your TemPad won’t work, because it doesn’t exist here.”

If the TemPad doesn’t exist, then reason stands that the TVA doesn’t either and the thought is mind-blowing - terrifying and exciting both. Mobius lived his life with the understanding that the TVA, the Time-Keepers, existed everywhere and (in a way) at every time, and yet...He examines the gun for himself, then hands it back. “I suppose that makes sense.”

“Enough exposition for the readers then?”

“I guess so, I mean, we don’t want to bog them down in the...”

“Talky talky talky.” They say in unison.

“So...how do we figure out where we are then?”

“I’ve a thought.” Loki gets up, starts in the direction of the town, with Mobius quick to catch up. As they carry on he waves hand to change their clothing according to what he suspects will be most appropriate.

“Did you just change my clothes?”

“Of course, how else did you expect us to fit in?”

“No, it’s nice…” The agent looks over the dark shirt, cowboy boots, before taking off the hat to examine. “Impressive...Just...why am I all in black?”

“Because I’m in white.”

“Yeah...But why are you in white and then, you know, I’m in black?”

“Maybe I want to change things up? Think that’s possible? ” It’s said sarcastically, but Loki himself isn’t sure it’s not true.

Mobius smiles. “If anyone could do it, it’d be you.”

When they arrive the god scans the rough wood buildings, the rougher looking citizens that stroll and spit in the streets, with growing smile. This is a place he can enjoy, regardless of where or when it is. Eyes follow a woman in threadbare silk, breasts nearly out, before they find the double-gun holster of her companion.

"What you grinnin’ at, Saddle-Bum?” When Loki laughs the man grows enraged, pulls his gun.

Mobius curses and scrambles as chaos breaks out, just managing to push the woman out of the way of the gunfire. He tucks them behind a pile of barrels that spill liquor as bullets fly. “Stay down.” As the dust settles he glances out. “Loki?” He’s not cross, only worried.

The god only smiles, triumphant over the local bleeding out on his back. “Ah, there you are, Mobius!” That’s a relief.

The woman begins to scream. “Oh my god! You shot the sheriff!!”

“But I did not shoot the deputy.” Loki tips his hat with a grin.

He should be angry, scared, but Mobius isn’t. Heart pounds not with fear, but at the possibilities. It’s one thing to study Loki, to interview and interact with him under controlled circumstances, but this is something entirely different. They’re off the proverbial reservation. This is a wild Loki and it’s thrilling. “This is crazy…” The corners of his lips lift in spite of himself as men drag the body away. “Lucky no one liked that sheriff.”

“Funny how often that happens.” Loki chuckles. “Shall we find a room then?”

“Two.”

“Mobius, really, I thought you would know better. If two beings are in this sort of scenario, there will only be one room and one bed available.”

"Come on, you really think the...powers that be are gonna pull that old trope out?”

Loki only chuckles as he swings saloon doors wide and cheers. “Your new sheriff is here!” The gunslingers, prospectors, and whores all turn and stare. Just stare. The god drops hands to hips, but smile remains. “Tough crowd.” He huffs his laugh, carries on to the bar. “May we have two glasses of your finest and two rooms please?”

“Sorry, just got the one available.”

“On, come on, really?” The agent is incredulous. “Did Loki put you up to this?”

The bartend and proprietor smirks. “You want the room or not?”

“The one room will do just fine, thank you,” Loki smiles out before grabbing the whole bottle rather than poured glass and heading towards a cards game. “Are you coming or not?”

It takes a moment to realize the saloon owner had no expectation of getting paid now, that Mobius was free to go to the table if he wished. He did and he did, settling beside Loki. “You know how to play this game?”

“I know how to play many games, from many different lands. Do you know how to play?”

“I’m sure I’ll get the hang of it.” Not more than a few hands later he’s nearly all the pot to himself.

The god is thoroughly impressed. “You lied.” He smiles.

“Ahhh, what is a lie, anyway?” Mobius smiles back. “Just a...” He shrugs. “Reinterpretation of the truth.”

“You get that from your space lizard employers?”

“Nope.” He sets another winning hand on the table. “I got that from you.”

“Yer a cheat,” a player grumbles. “A liar and a cheat.” Mobius prepares to defend himself when the player turns to Loki. “And a lousy sheriff.” The god only laughs before the man grabs his wrist, digs into Loki’s jacket pocket, and pulls out an ace.

Guns cock in the men’s direction; one sighs, the other grins madly.

“Loki, you weren’t even winning!” Mobius decries.

“Well I would have been, if you weren’t so good!”

“Oh, so this is my fault?”

“Not completely.”

“Not remotely!” The two men begin to devolve themselves into a shouting match, talking over each other as they plot an escape. “Are you ready?!”

“As I’ll ever be!”

“Good!”

“Great!”

Loki blasts the poker player holding his wrist along with two other gunslingers while Mobius socks the man beside him in the nose. It quickly escalates, spreads across the saloon like a tornado that draws in all manner of people around it. Chairs and bullets and glasses fly through the air. Mirrors and tables shatter, people scream, and through it all the god revels...and so does the agent. Until, that is, another gun fires from outside...Fast, futuristic, and deadly so both man and god hit the floor lest they get hit.

“I know you’re in there you portal gun stealing fuckers!” Rick rages from within his ship. It isn’t simply that they took his gun - they weren’t the first and he’d many - it was that he hadn’t discovered the theft soon enough. It was the hit to his ego. “Come out here now and maybe, maybe, I won’t squanch your ass!”

“Jesus, Rick, relax.” Morty doesn’t know why he bothers as his grandfather turns to berate him instead.

Loki pops up, begins to pull magic into his hands as Mobius braces on overturned table to stand. “Hide in the rafters”

“The rafters?” Mobius looks up as Loki forms him an armored vest as precaution. “Are you kidding me? What in our history together makes you think I’m capable of something like that?”

“Then hide elsewhere, just let me handle the old man.” Loki gives overconfident wink.

Mobius sighs...This is it, this is how he dies… “I’ve a better idea.” He storms past Loki, strolls out into the street where the other two are still arguing in their ship.

“Mobius no!” Loki gives chase.

As you can see, Loki’s got no trouble slipping into new, chaotic, worlds and having a blast while Mobius takes a bit longer to find his footing - this may change as Mobius continues to travel and finds his own way of making things work. Because the rascals couldn’t manage to finish their cowboy tale in one go, there will be at least one more piece in this Wild West world...Hope y’all don’t mind, haha! (”Saddle-Bum” is an old west phrase meaning drifter.)

All gifs made found on Google, combined by me, credit goes to whoever their OG makers are!

Those who may read: @holykryptonitekitten @lady-crowned-with-stars @ultrarebelheart @chibiyanai @dreamsofapiratelife @biiskuitx @delightfulheartdream @antoniostarshadow13 @mobiusbmobius@zippythewondersquirrel ...If you wish to be tagged in future pieces, please let me know!

#loki #loki series #rick and morty #crossover #fanfiction #mobius #loki laufeyson #loki odinson #mobius m mobius #loki x mobius #rick sanchez #morty smith #time variance authority #tva loki #marvel cinematic universe #mcu #cowboy au #my writing #not my gif

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goatpaste · 4 years

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WC design/headcannon/ect masterlist- Part B

another chunk of all the headcanos/AU’s/design notes/warrior names for kits and leaders never given a canon one/ect for all the wario cats!

this one is for all the B named cats!

info under the cut

Badgerfang

badgerfang i think a lot of us have a big ol soft spot for, but ought i really care him and his family i think it needs more than jusT the badgerfang death like for real

one of the biggest reasons i wanna learn to animate is because i wanna make a badgerfang and flintfang amv! it would be sdkg more about flintfang because i think he’s a neat character who has a lot of potential for development

like mAN you ever stop and think about not only was flintfang sad over badgerfangs death because it was sad, bUT also because badgerfang was his sisters kit AND to the thought of blackstar is flintfangs brother. flintfang had to deal with playing a hand in badgerfangs death then watch his brother loyally follow brokenstar, then tigerstar 🥺

Baypaw

baypaw was the first of his lil chunk of family i design, i didnt have a sorrelstripe design made yet so i ultimately decided to base his design on his grandpa Lionblaze. smaller fluffy lionblaze.

I know we should be coming up to baypaw getting their warrior name soon

i think a name like Baysong or Baygale

Beech Tail

the only thing i have to say is dgjksh when i designed the ‘beech’ prefix designs it was late and i totally went ‘beech... the beach’ and noT beech the tree sdjkgh. so i designed beech tail like that of a penguin sdjkgh

Beechfur

beechfur , riverclan warrior under mistystar’s leadership

i imagine beechfur is be EXTREMely accident prone, from the first instant of getting sick and healed by leafpool all the way up till the end. He is in and out of the medicine cats den constantly. and through this formed a big ol crush on the pretty medicine cat apprentice Willowshine who has had to full on decline his feelings. he is not the only one who has had this treatment, many a riverclan cats have found themself charmed by willowshine

Beechpaw

Beechpaw, a apprentice of ancient skyclan who were forced to leave the forest territory. i imagine beechpaw was of the few cats who did everything he could to keep the others in good spirit while they tried to find their home, which often came to the annoyance of all his distraught clanmates. he never stopped doing all he could to put a smile on their face until he died.

he was the last apprentice cloudstar named a warrior and only lived a few moons after becoming one.

warrior names i like for him are like Beechshed or Beechshine

Beenose

slight update to my beenose design because i want her to fit my newer darktail group clown aesthetic

another design note is her and her siblings all are themed after a diff color of the rainbow, beenose is yellow. their mom snowbird has a pale rainbow pattern and each other her kits is a diff color of the rainbow

Beetlewhisker

Beetlewhisker is another one of my quiet favorites i have, and it is because of the error of him being alive for SO many books after he died.

like !!! bitch had a HUGE major death and went on to live for a long time aND be listed as a cats mentor (which i think that has been changed now)

i love the idea of in a way beetlewhisker WAS with the clans that long after his death. that due to his death was in a way locked in the dark forest, his soul stuck there. but because of the ways of the dark forest cat’s he was chased out, and unable to enter starclan having died in the dark forest, now cursed to live in limbo.

He walks to the grounds of riverclan watching over his clanmates while they rest hoping that no one else is to be preyed upon by the dark forest like he was ever again.

theres ghost stories of riverclan cats seeing the shape of a cat shining brightly when hit by moonlight. a peaceful spirit of the past who protects them.

and in design 100% his design was made to look like that of a smeleton bones lol

Bellaleaf

the erin team will have to pry bellaleaf and firestar being siblings from my cold dead hands!!

you can’t say they look basically exactly alike and their not related i wont take it sdjkg. i DIE for the idea oh whore jake managing to have so many kids that get into the clans. like the over saturation of jake dna through the clans ruining them absolutely kills me sdjkg

i also imagine ravenpaw having like deja vu of firestar when he looks at bella, cats who knew firestar look at her and can’t help feel she reminds them of someone.

Berryheart

another one of the designfor snowbirds kits, berryheart is the red themed sibling.

she also got a slight design change to be more clowny to fit her time in darktail’s group

Berrynose

i just love berrynose, i think hes very terrible and i love him a lot

i think the books are cowards and i think berrystar woulda been the fUNniest outcome oR like

imagine the powermove if berrynose lived and squirrelflight fucking made berrynose her deputy likE

also berrynose is a lil gay brat, he has a thick country accent and everyone find him weirdly charming. many hate him but cant help but find him alluring.

he actually is a very good warrior, he stays on top of his task and brings in the prey. his biggest problem is his ego and his need to get in others faces all the time

i love when he’s paired with lionblaze because their stupid rivarly is so good i really wish it was more plot important and lasted longer i LIVE for best friend rivals lion and berry

buT i also love him with jayfeather for the simple dynamic of the one cat who would probably hate him more than anyone else but oops he’s in love to

or him and breezepelt because they could be lil shitheads togeather

Birchface

the biggest thing i can say about birchface is 100% birchface watched over mapleshade’s kits, doesnt let appledusk or his own family hurt them. He treats them like his own.

in AU’s where birchface lives i defiantly can see him having a HUGE crush on mapleshade and being much like thrushpelt was to bluefur. being as a surrogate dad for her kits and keeping the secret.

in my main AU with mapleshade dieing and getting a redemption its mostly the same except they become a sweet happy family together in starclan.

he’s a big goofy dad type and his father had hoped he would become leader one day, but worried that he was too lax with the code and not as driven to fight as others and began to think he would have to rely on frecklewish instead. then they both died and he ended up turning to his youngest son pinefur

Blade

this is just a one time ghost cat buT i like the design i made for her.

im all here for dark forest cats having this black oozing mark from where they died, starclan gets being covered in stardust and maybe having from pretty plats or glow or other representative stuff on their death. but ghost cats are loUD with their mark of death. its a nagging weight they carry around based on their inability to move on to their respective afterlives. For blade its giant bright red tire marks that slowly circle around her body.

Blazefire

just a lil boy

i imagine he kinda constantly has crushes on cats from other clans which while some might tell him to hush when he shares his thoughts on the pretty cat from riverclan he gets some loving teasing from dovewing and antfur

Blazefire is also miss nearly all of his tail

Blizzardstar and Blizzardwing

not much here but to say 100% i designed blizzardwing in mind of being that of a grandson or great grandson to blizzardstar

Blossomfall

shrug idk a lot to say about her beyond, i know she’s a asshole character but i remember liking her, i think she’s mean but its kinda fun in a way

i think i also just have this soft spot for millies kits because their millie’s

also i just like my blossomfall design i think she’s v fun

Blossomkit

another shadowclan kit who died under brokenstar’s ruling.

i think as sad as it is, i can imagine blossomkit to be badgerfang’s sister, just another sad thing to think about for fernshade’s litter. the potential idea of all her kit’s dying because of brokenstar

a warrior name for her that would been cute woulda been like Blossomglaze or blossomsprout

Bluebellkit

bluebellkit sure disappeared from the books. she’s one of those kits that like, she already had a mouth full of a name and i wish i coulda seen what they woulda named her as a warrior

but she’s another one of snowbird’s rainbow themed kids, her ofc being the blue one.

i think a cute warrior name for her could been Bluebellwhistle or bluebellfoot

Blouder

i lobe boulder i think he is very under appreciated!!

i think it be very fun to get a novella or something in this POV,,

he’s just hangin out back there yknow,,,

Bouncefire

(bit of an art change from here as i took a break between these two and switched programs)

idk a lot about actual bouncefire, i think the only books with any real characterization in it was ones i havent read

buT id really like to imagine growing up he saw his mentor patchfoot as a father figure and was ultimately the reason patchfoot and his mom got together. and bouncefire being absolutely ecstatic about it. thinking patchfoot is the coolest guy

bouncefire gets along good with his half siblings

gay cat and wanna be emo but just is kinda angy

Brackenfur

my biggest brackenfur AU is my medicat brackenfur which i have info of here

https://goatpaste.tumblr.com/post/631020627780911104/au-where-insteed-of-fireheart-picking-up

and

https://goatpaste.tumblr.com/post/632972589046890496/mmm-writing-out-like-big-plot-point-changes-in-my

the other thing vaguely mention in these but would probably be more prominent in his og story

but brackenfur is quietly the biggest mess in the family. Being on pare with confidence and energy as cinderpelt when they were young, after her accident somethin changed for him. he loved his sister but is a big distant. but its hardly noticeable between the two as they worked very separate jobs in the clan

then his other sister, brightpaw has her accident and brackenfur begins to question something

but when he his the last to leave in the thunderclan group to their new home he stops and looks back at his mother frostfur who is old and frail look, though she wasnt young the damage of the forest hit her hard.

this when brackenfur decides starclan has it out for his family, especially the mollies. they were cursed he was sure.

moons later he is expecting his kits with sorreltail, letting his mind rest on the idea, the crazy notion that some greater force wanted the she-cats in his family dead.

then the day his kits arrive cinderpelt dies to the badgers. he pushes down these feelings down again it was the time. But he couldn’t help but think that, if leafpool was there, if starclan had given them a sign of the badgers, anything. maybe cinderpelt might have lived. but he pushes it back down and tells himself it was a warriors death

and then his daughter, cinderpaw is struck by the tree and the stirring in his mind grows stronger. why has starclan done this to his family

then honeyfern gets bit by the snake. how could starclan be so cruel, their always so young.

then his sweet sorreltail fought strongly for her two young daughters future

and on his own, forced to watch seedpaw drown and lilypaw be haunted by what happened.

the women in brackenfurs family is cursed and he bears the burden of relizing it, of living and watching each of them suffer until the end

to the ones that lived and are happy still, with no burdens in their lives he watches happily making sure NOTHING bad comes their way. he would fight starclan themselves to make sure his family is safe and happy

Breezepelt

in design Breezepelt has a p average length tail. which for him is a huge disappointment. His father crowfeather has a long slender windclan tail, a trait that is held to high standards in his family. a trait passed all the way down from windstar herself who had the longest and most beautifully windy tail.

Breezepelt has a angry spot about this because he feels lacking and especially disconnected to his father. BUT double this with jayfeather having only half windclan blood has a tail even longer than crowfeathers

i also would NOT put breezepelt with heathertail, i dont see any reason for it. like first off this bitch gay, id love for him to have a boyfriend and it think it should be berrynose because one, their both terrible i think it be funny and i also think its funny to ship berrynose with lionblaze or jayfeather so im like, whats another brother (to be clear not shipped all together, this is separately) and two, the idea heathertail and poppyfrost lesbian could exist

then the big BIg thing is, i would take breezepelts character and gut what happened in crowfeathers trial out of both him and crowfeather

i talk about it a bit here, but i think ill re talk about it in full when i get to crowfeather https://goatpaste.tumblr.com/post/190544981670/breezepelt

Briarlight

miss briarlight i love you!!

very sweetgirl

i based her design off sakuras and bleed heart doves. idk what possessed me but when i went to design her i knEW she was gonna be pink she needed to be she deserved it

briarlight buff as shit in her forlegs she loves trying to rope leafpool and jayfeather into lil strength contest she always wins (sometimes she will let leafpool win on days she needs it)

her and jayfeather are wlw/mlm best friends. jayfeather calls her pidge which started as a mean nickname that she simply loved and embraced fully

also in my AU with medicat lionblaze i can very much see briarlight and lionblaze being very sweet friends. like big strong lionblaze who is actually docile and compassionate about his work and briarlight loud and rooting him on

Brick

swear to god until i got back into warrior cats this year i had always thought brick was a lady and her and bone were suppous to be scourges like adoptive bad parents jkdg

anyways im still with that, she/her agender brick who adopts their terrible son scourge and is in a monogamous partnership with bone’s. strictly business defiantly not married, they just have a son together.

Brindlewing

idk a ton about her, but from her wiki it dsjkgh doesnt look like theirs alot

but i’d like to imagine she’s a very anxious girl and struggles in crowds especially around cat she doesn't know. she feels more comfortable when one of her sisters is with her or her grandmother nightcloud. Nightcloud has always been a source of self confidence for her and they love each very much.

Brindlewing also inherited crowfeather’s family long tail that skipped breezepelt. Brindlewing holds the tail in her mouth as a means of helping her anxiety.

Bristlefrost

a biG design overhaul for my bristlefrost design, i really didnt like the old design i made her. wanted her to be a lil darker colored and in general have a cuter design

i gave her diff color eyes to mark her double agent status one eye green like her fathers and the other sharing the same blue i use for ashfur’s eye color

i kept her with the one white paw which i give to any descendent of jake, just because canonically she is ivy and ferns kid.

but in my rewrite their not togeather. Fernsong was a kittypet or a loner who had lost their mate and home and was found by ivypool caring for his three kittens alone. this is more fernsong headcanon, but bristlefrost is there

bristle and all the kits love ivypool they look up to her big time and all wished she was their mentor when they became apprentices.

bristlefrost often confides in her father when feeling guilty or unsure of herself and he is always there for her

Bristlekit

half brother to tallstar

i imagine woolytail’s family seems to have a high mortality rate with their kids with only one maybe two usually making it to adulthood. bristlekit would die before becoming an apprentice and spent time in starclan with finchkit and later rabbitkit waiting for wrenflight and tallstar.

if bristlekit made it to being a warrior id like to think he was named Bristlefeather or Bristlefoot

Brook where small fish swim

teeny update to my brook design to give her small white fish dots matching her brothers spots

her general design is mean to be loosely based on a mountain lion.

she got strong powerful mountain climbing body

i also wish her romance was better developed and wasnt like based in a lot of white savior romance plots given to native and native coded characters

in general the tribe really shoulda just been written better

Brownpaw

brownpaw, brother to littlecloud killed mosspaw as a kit on accident and was apprenticed for it by brokenstar

i imagine him and his brother wetfoot killing mosspaw effect them both deeply. for wetfoot it shook him to the core and made his doubt his own claws

for brownpaw it set him down the path of destruction. brokenstar rewarding him for what happened with mosspaw was the biggest enabler

brownpaw would go on to be a blood thirsty apprentice who would throw his young life away under brokenstars order of attack.

had he been made a warrior i think brokenstar woulda named him Brownmoss claiming he had earned the name when he took it from mosspaw.

Bug

design for bug because i think the book she was in didnt exist when i originally started drawing every warrior cat

love her!

bumblestripe

bumblestripe’s character makes me sad

im SUCH a millie stan and for one of her kids to be disabled then treated like garbage to the end of her life and written super ablest and then her other two kids are total shit heads? makes me sad

i wish at lEAST millie and graystripe had a second little, maybe just one total sweetheart

and its been forever since i read the books. but i remember bumblestripe being a real nobody characters just very generic personality until romance plot for dovewing came into play. and now he super sucks!

i wish he coulda just been a good character who loved dovewing, is sad and kinda jealous of her feelings for tigerheart but in the end respects her decisions and even admires her courage to follow her heart even if it led her over the borders.

Buster/Rippletail

slight buster redesign to fit more in the circus clown look from when he was in the kin

also design note, he’s got an orange themed design to go along with his rainbow themed siblings

Buzzardkit

windclan kit who showed up once in the sight crying and being comforted by a queen

mm i think some good warrior names for them woulda been like

buzzardface, Buzzardshriek or buzzardwhistle

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violetfaust · 3 years

Text

Episode 3 of What If...? ended where it should have started.

Nobody was asking "What if there was a murder mystery?" We wanna know who would be the Avengers if the first string was knocked out.

Fury was starting with Captain Marvel and a thawed-out Captain America. Who else would join c. 2011?

By process of elimination, not:

Asgardians--In this universe, Loki seems to have taken over the earth pretty easily with a united Asgard behind him. Have to assume that after his Heel Reveal, he's going to remain the antagonist (at least until Thanos shows up collecting Infinity Stones). Among the Asgardians, the only people who seemed to really dislike/distrust Loki are the Warriors Four (incl. Sif), but they are not likely to team up with the planet that murdered Thor. There IS an Asgardian wild card, though; see below.

Ant Fam cluster--Hope is dead, Janet is still lost in the quantumverse, Hank is presumably in prison forever, and Scott also hasn't yet been released. The Ant-man suit is locked in a basement. But see below for wild cards.

Isaiah Bradley--Leave him alone!!! Let the man have peace! But also he doesn't seem to have been known to SHIELD and the people in the Army who experimented on him think he's dead.

Bucky Barnes--Still mind-controlled by Hydra, but also quite possibly dead. There's a good theory that since Hope died on a mission in Odessa in 2009, she was involved in the shootout where Natasha met the Winter Soldier. And if the Winter Soldier killed her, I imagine Hank would have gone after him even before the potential Avengers.

Defenders/Netflix MCU cluster--I haven't watched these shows, but from what I can glean online, none of them are active heroes in 2011, and the only one who has powers at the time is Jessica Jones, who is resisting her friend's pressure to take on a costumed identity. Jessica could end up being a wild card if Fury did an open call, but that doesn't seem smart when your main antagonist is the guy who rules the world.

Spider-Child--Is eleven. Also unpowered.

Dr. Strange--Still busy being an arrogant asshole surgeon (instead of an arrogant asshole wizard sorcerer).

Vision--Doesn't exist, and with Tony and Banner dead, never will.

Wakanda cluster--If I understand correctly, T'Chaka is currently the Black Panther and he is busy being a king and raising a family. Erik/N'Jadaka is unpowered and racking up kills in Black Ops. I'm not sure if a threat to the entire world (Asgardians) would be enough to lure T'Challa out of Wakanda but my gut says probably not.

Wanda and Pietro--Unpowered, supposed to be teenagers I think? May not even have been recruited to Hydra yet.

Yelena Belova and the rest of the Black Widows--Still under mind control for another five years. Possibly a wild card if she finds out who killed her sister, though she's more likely to go for murder than joining a team.

Okay, so who ARE the possibilities?

Iron Fam cluster--Pepper and Rhodey are alive and have access to Tony's tech. One of them could definitely take up Tony's legacy, and Fury knows where they live. My money is on Rhodey, since Pepper would probably be the one running all the businesses.

SHIELD agents--Fury packed the OG Avengers with two of his agents, so he definitely promotes from within. The obvious choice is Melinda May, who is established as Natasha's equal if not superior. I can only assume she wasn't on the roster from the beginning because she isn't based on a comics character and so didn't yet exist was on desk duty following the trauma of the Bahrain incident. But since her partner Coulson is alive to ask her nicely, she'd come back into the field for this. (Maria Hill, as Fury's personal deputy, would stay with SHIELD.)

That makes four.

Now for the fun part--the wild cards!

Valkyrie--Is out in space, probably already established as a bounty hunter on Sakaar. She wouldn't give a shit about Asgard or Midgard--BUT what if she already knew Carol, and joined up as a personal favor to her...?

Ava Starr (Ghost)--Has had her powers since childhood and apparently at this point was actually being used by SHIELD as an assassin. Her backstory is as horrifying as Isaiah's, frankly, and I'd like to think that she was kept secret by the Hydra side and Fury had no part in her abuse. But if he knew about her, her genuine superpowers might outweigh her mental instability so he would recruit her.

Sam Wilson--In 2011 Sam was out of the army; Riley had died and the EXO-7 Falcon project was scrapped. He could become Falcon at any time--but he seems to have been entirely off Fury's radar and had no access to his gear. He doesn't meet Steve until 2014 and that's completely by chance. BUT. If the entire world has been taken over by superpowered/magical alien beings (and that's what the Asgardians are), I can't imagine him NOT fighting back somehow. Whatever resistance there is, he'd be part of it. So he might come into contact with the Avengers that way, and if he did, he'd immediately offer his "resume" as he did to Steve in CA:TWS.

The Yellowjacket suit--The Ant-Man suit is locked in a basement, but Hank was arrested wearing the Yellowjacket suit. That gives Fury access to it, and barring it having some kind of kill switch (probably literally), he can just drop whichever agent he likes into it. I was originally thinking Coulson, but...far more evilly...what if it was Rumlow or Grant Ward...? Thus putting a Hydra mole into the Avengers from the very beginning...?

So here's my roster:

Captain Marvel/Carol Danvers

Captain America/Steve Rogers

Iron Man/James Rhodes

The Cavalry/Agent Melinda May

Valkyrie/Brunnhilde

Ghost/Ava Starr

Falcon/Sam Wilson

Yellowjacket/Grant Ward (muwhahahaha)

#marvel what if...?#what if sorta spoilers #mcu #pseudo-avengers #god that was a lot of typing for something that's interesting only to me #but i have insomnia so whatever #op

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roswelldetails · 4 years

Text

RNM 2x10 - American Woman

EPISODE SUMMARY:

SECRETS OF THE PAST — After uncovering a cryptic message from the past, Alex (Tyler Blackburn), Isobel (Lily Cowles), Max (Nathan Dean), Michael (Michael Vlamis) and Maria (Heather Hemmens) set out in search of answers at the reservation where Alex’s mother grew up. Meanwhile, Cameron (guest star Riley Voelkel) encourages Liz (Jeanine Mason) to reach out to someone from her past after Auturo (guest star Carlos Compean) gets detained. Marcus Stokes directed the episode written by Rick Montano & Vincent Ingaro & Jason Gavin (#210). Original airdate 5/18/2020.

DETAILS:

Tripp brings Louise to the Reservation in a body bag where the Navajo doctors are able to save her life.

"Your message said that you were gonna bring two women that would be no trouble. This looks like a lot of trouble."

"I must have gotten the codes wrong."

"No, don't give me that Manes man nonsense. Not here in my own home."

"Her name is Louise. I promised her friend Nora I'd protect them. My brother triggered an ambush before I could get them here. And Nora…"

"Wait, what does the Air Force want them for?"

"They're not from around here. They're from...up north."

"Yìiyáh. No. She can't stay here… What if your brother comes here and finds a fugitive. I can't put my people at risk for a white woman."

"Please. You're the only person I trust. If she doesn't make it, it was all for nothing."

"I'll have you remember that I was the one that saved your ass in Okinawa. I don't owe you anything. I'm only doing this because you're my family. And because I'm a damn fool."

A few notes on this scene:

--I don't know why Tripp pretends he got the codes wrong. Unless he's spiraling and talking about the timing of the attack. But it seems like he means the message that he was bringing them to the reservation. Clearly things didn't go according to plan. Though, it is always possible that we're still missing bits of the story.

--OG Easter Egg. "They're not from around here. They're from up north." For anyone who didn't watch OG, this is almost exactly how the exchange went when Max told Liz he was an alien in the 1999 pilot.

--Yìiyáh - I found nothing on this word. I'm assuming that it's a curse word or general exclamation of negativity, but literally got zero results on google. It's possible, of course, that it's misspelled in the captions. There were a lot of errors in the captions in this opening scene.

--While there really isn't any overt statement that Alex is half Navajo and this town is part of Navajo Nation (which has been in the news a lot lately and therefore is a good place in this country to be aware of), there's lots of clues or subtle enough statements that I feel like it can be accepted as fact, since: Harrison is a codetalker, the necklace is Navajo, tsela is a Navajo word. So I did a little peeking and it could work. The closest Navajo town is about a 4 hour drive from Roswell.

Navajo Nation:

(side note - Navajo Nation has extreme poverty but also is utterly gorgeous. And the Tribe gets income from tourism. Just a few places there that I'm dying to go? Monument Valley, Antelope Canyon, Shiprock. Check it out.)

Liz comments on Max's irregular heartbeat, with literally no acknowledgment of the fact that she's straddling him and has a history of causing his heart to race...and other forms of lack of control (think 1x03).

"I'm excited about this though. You know Alex dug up all that info on our bio Mom. You sure you can't come?"

"Got to take my dad in for his blood tests. I want to check on Jenna too. Cannot believe she's back in the hospital again."

"She's been in pain for weeks. I have no leads on the mysterious hunting van, and Charlie hasn't made contact."

"Hmm. To be fair, I do hear that phone service is a little spotty in flying saucers."

"Okay, I get that. You think my alien abduction theory is bogus."

"I know you're worried that this has something to do with you, but I don't think this is an alien thing."

"Cam and I had fractal burns on our necks. We had no memory of what happened. That's alien stuff. I just want clarity on something."

--Note that it's past time to abandon all hope of anything resembling a defined timeline for this show...once again we have weeks passing between episodes. This is the second time this season that the time passing has only been generically described as "weeks". It's been at least a year since Liz came back to Roswell (per her conversation with Diego), but a year would be summer (late May or early June, specifically), and in this episode Isobel mentions that it's winter (which would be a year and a half).

Maria's pitch:

"In conclusion, esteemed members of the Roswell Tourism Board, while the Pony is normally a sanctuary for locals during CrashCon, I think that my plan to turn it into the Contact Cantina Pop-Up Bar will be a hit with alien fans."

"We're talking more money than we first speculated, aren't we now?"

"You know, Mayor Bernhardt, I forgot to tell you about our new morning cocktail… It's coffee, vanilla cream, and our best bourbon. Let me get you a double."

Note: so this is the famous Mayor Bernhardt. Funded by the Long family. Doesn't like immigrants. Had a racist relative who wouldn't give first prize to the black man.

Maria's vision…

Herself, younger, sitting at the Pony bar.

"You have to let me go! You're just crazy! And I'm trapped!"

And then she runs from the bar crying.

She's not wearing the necklace.

Describing it to Michael:

"I had a vision, but it was more like a memory. Of a fight I had with my mom when I was younger."

Isobel interrupts Michael and Maria to pick them up for the road trip. Just a few relevant excepts from this scene:

"Pack your bags. We're going on a family road trip."

"Is this why Max wanted the day off?"

"In the photo of Max and Isobel's bio Mom, there was a water tower. Alex recognized that water tower from the town where his mom grew up. You should come with us."

Alex and Forrest talk in the Crashdown:

"Hope that limp isn't from a paintball injury."

"Nope. Those bruises have mostly healed. I just got a new prosthetic. Takes a minute to get used to. You working on your book?"

"I write my book on my computer. However, I write my angsty emo poetry in an angsty emo journal."

"I'm actually working on some poetry myself. Well, song lyrics, technically. It's a lot harder than it was in high school."

"Yeah, writing was easier for me when I was a kid too. Feelings...we bury 'em now. You just got to find that thing inside of you that doesn't have a voice. Lend it yours. You know? Listen, I have like, zero musical talent, but if you need help with the worst part, we could, uh…"

"Actually I'm leaving tomorrow for a few days to go talk to some recruits."

Michael interruptus, and the conversation goes casual.

--What happened to "angsty nerd isn't really my type." Or...was it FORESHADOWING!!!?! 😂

--Oh hi there clear shot of Forrest's clearly Deep Sky logoed ring…

Cam has been having debilitating migraines that have been keeping her bedridden since the abduction.

Nurse Kate is a badass. she tries to keep ICE from getting into a patient's room. Liz hears her and hurries to the waiting room, where there's more ICE activity. Liz panics and tries to get Arturo out of the hospital, but she caught the attention of the ICE officers. However, Liz knows her rights.

"He has applied for his green card. I'm his sponsor, okay? This is his G-1145 right here."

"You can show that to the court."

"It's okay. Call the lawyer."

"No. He is a diabetic. It is illegal to detain a patient."

"Exigent circumstances. Move."

"No. Hey, this is an unconstitutional arrest and the ACLU will be all over you."

"Elizabeth, we respect the law in this family. If you're in trouble, who will take care of the mouse?"

--G-1145 is a request for confirmation that your green card application has been accepted:

--The timing of this all. Liz has been prepared for this moment all her life and would fight it to the point of getting arrested herself, if not for Rosa. Rosa's safety is the only thing that convinces Liz to step aside.

--As an only semi related note, this is a really interesting contrast to how they wrote Jeanine's character out on Grey's Anatomy.

--Also feel like it would be remiss of me to not point out Liz's reactiveness and fightinf mentality is mirroring how Liz initially reacted to Max pulling her over in the pilot.

"Okay. So the Deputy on call says there's one detention center in the county. Here's the info."

"He doesn't have anything left in Mexico. No one. Nowhere to go."

"You can't think like that right now."

"I think like this always. Rosa and I used to recite our escape plan for if our parents got deported and we got separated in foster care. I begged my parents not to tell Santa where we lived because I was afraid he'd ask for papers. My whole life was built on a fear of this day coming, and it's here. If I'd have kept better track of his health, he wouldn't need these tests. I should have made him move to California. I thought we were safe being outside the hundred-mile zone, but after this election I should have known better. And I should have made him wear a sweater this morning because it's freezing out there. And what if he…?"

"...okay think. Is there someone we can call?"

"Kyle's at a conference, but I can have him call his mom."

"Do you know anyone with some real power? You know, Federal muscle?"

Cam gets dressed to take Liz to the Detention Center and Liz calls Diego for help.

The road trip group arrive at the reservation and meet Gregory Manes. He says he remembers them all from high school. He takes Max, Michael, and Isobel to learn about Louise while Alex and Maria go jewelry shopping.

Meanwhile Gregory is taking the Pod Squad to Louise's grave, but pauses for some flirting:

"You're still the Isobel Evans who convinced the basketball captain to pull four different fire alarms to get out of AP Gov, right? Yeah, legend. Here she is."

"Oh my God, it's covered in flowers. It's winter."

"Rumor is they grow year-round unattended. She was a healer. I'm told she helped with trauma, addiction, that sort of thing. All without speaking."

"This another grave?"

"She was pregnant."

"Louise arrived gravely injured. And the baby didn't survive.

--Louise died the same day the Pod Squad came out of the pods, confirming that she is probably the old woman on the reservation that was described in 1x09.

--Michael found the mysterious purple flowers growing on Louise's grave.

Alex and Maria at the trading post.

"Are you okay? Seem a little off."

"I had a vision during a meeting this morning. It almost cost me a deal that could save the bar. Maybe I should just wear the necklace. Go back to being a social media guru. Slash barkeep. Slash magical trope in our redneck mayor's fantasy."

"So why did you really come today? Your ideal day off isn't fighting for the radio silence with Isobel Evans, so…"

"This is the back of my necklace. The word stamped in the silver says Tsela. The necklace is Navajo, so I thought maybe that was the jeweler, but no one I've asked here seems to know who made it. I just want answers."

"Well, there's a ton of silver jewelry for sale here. So why don't we just keep looking for something with the same stamp?"

Pod Squad sharing a bottle of acetone by Louise's grave.

"Noah said our planet was war-torn. But the hell they found here can't have been worth it."

"Do you think that Louise's baby died from her injuries or do you think maybe it was never going to survive?"

"What are you talking about?"

"I was pregnant. When you died. Obviously I'm not anymore. I just can't help wondering if that was my last chance. Assuming that humans and aliens can't procreate because they're different species. Maybe that little baby wasn't viable."

"You almost died during the abortion, didn't you? I could feel it. Noah almost killed you again, huh? Oh, I need a minute."

After Max leaves Michael offers to be a sperm donor for Isobel if she ever wants to have a kid.

Liz at the Detainment Center

"It's Ortecho. Arturo Ortecho. He's my dad. And he needs gliclazide and beta-blockers. I brought both."

"We can't take contraband here, but there is an infirmary on-site, if he's here."

"You know, out of curiosity, did Nebane Abienwi visit an infirmary before he died of a brain bleed in your custody? What about Johana Medina León? She was 25 years old, okay? People walk through those doors and they die...Who's your supervisor? You need prior approval before conducting enforcement in a hospital. There was a compliance memo."

"Right, a memo, which is just like a law only not. Unless you calm down, I'm gonna arrest you for obstruction."

"Okay, Liz, maybe sit down. Sir, I'm Deputy Jenna Cameron, and we appreciate your interpretation of your guidelines, but we have an urgent health concern about an inmate here, if you just wouldn't mind checking the system."

Jenna goes with the agent…when she returns...

"Do you have a court case next week for a vandalism charge?"

"What? Yes, but I didn't do it. I'm just gonna plead guilty and pay the fine. It's nothing."

"They denied your dad's green card application because of a misdemeanor on your record. You can't be his sponsor."

Jenna's headaches overtake her. Meanwhile, the ICE agent comes back with news:

"Here just came up. Ortecho is being transferred to El Paso for his deportation hearing. You can see him there around Tuesday."

--Liz's misdemeanor is taking the fall for Rosa's vandalism from when she was arrested by Sheriff Valenti in 2x02.

Gregory takes the Pod Squad to see Harrison who is on his death bed. Manes boys are always welcome here, the woman tells them. Harrison is the only one Louise ever spoke to on the reservation.

"He met my great uncle Tripp Manes fighting in WWII. Harry was a code talker."

Michael gets Gregory to leave with him so that Max and Isobel can go inside of Harrison's head. Their conversation:

"You look like her."

"Harrison. You look different."

"That was a lesson I learned from Louise. How to take your mind to a better time when you're in pain. Come on. I haven't seen the sky in a while. I'll tell you about her...I taught Tripp the codes in the Pacific. That's how we set up the rescue. He was supposed to snuggle Louise and Nora here, but the plan fell apart."

In the past between Harrison and Tripp:

"You've changed. The man I met on that ship obeyed orders."

"Guess I saw what happens when good men fall in line with bad orders. I'm a Christian, Harry. When evil itself tells me to kill a woman with child, I disobey. Even if the evil looks just like my brother."

A nurse rolls Louise into the room in a wheelchair.

"Did you find a family for her?"

"There should be music where you take her. I think she's a dancer."

"You can give her a house full of music, Louise. Nora wanted me to protect you so that you could protect the child."

"No. He's coming for me and I can't even move. No. When the devil comes, I won't be able to fight for her. Please. It is hard to be a woman on your planet. It's only gonna be harder still for her. Roy Bronson believed in meeting hatred with compassion. And I want her to be like him. A light in the darkness. A little star on the ground. I want that for both my girls."

"Where did he take the baby?"

"Can't say."

"No. Tell us where our sister went."

"She isn't your sister. Louise rarely spoke, but when she did, she spoke of two daughters. Two stars on the ground. She had no sons. You aren't hers. You came from something else...She lived for decades longer than she should have, trapped inside of a body that could no longer dance, waiting for a sign that you would be all right. She loved you."

Jenna wakes up back at the hospital.

"I asked them to run a new test. Your headaches are spinal headaches. Because there was a hole torn into your spinal cord."

"I'm sorry, what? My kidnappers gave me a spinal tap?"

"Do you mind signing off so I can look at your tox screen?"

"Yeah, of course, but, Liz, you don't have to do this, okay? Your dad, and…"

"I need a distraction. I can't leave for El Paso until tomorrow, and they're not letting him have visitors other than his lawyer until Tuesday, so...thank you for being here. You used your privilege to help me. I'm furious that I needed it, but I needed it."

--Reposado is a type of tequila

--Spinal Headaches:

Isobel and Max on what they learned from Harrison:

"You've always been different than me and Michael, okay? Always. You were the leader. From the start. I mean, you're the special one. You're the healer."

"I was. Now I can't even sneeze without my heart skipping a beat. All my life, no matter how weird things got, I never felt alone. Because I was your twin. Maybe I'm different. Maybe I'm a freak...I can't stop thinking about being chained up when I was a kid. It didn't feel like someone bad chained me up. It felt like I was the someone bad."

"Max, you're not dangerous."

"Saving people destroys me. But killing Noah? That felt good. I was high. And whenever I think about what he did to you, I want to chase that high. I wish I could kill him a thousand times. Louise mentioned the devil. Maybe something evil was chasing them. And maybe that something was me."

"Okay. I want to show you something. You see this hand on her shoulder there? See, Michael thought it was just someone who got cropped out of the photo, but no. Any female would recognize that body language. She does not want that hand on her. Louise said the devil would come. I think something evil was after them, but it wasn't you. I want to find out who it was."

Alex and Gregory:

"Hey, I just wanted to say thank you before we go. I also feel like I should congratulate you on getting out."

"Of the Navy?"

"Of the family. Getting out from under Dad."

"You got to break free of him, man."

"Do you feel free?"

"I don't think I get to be free until you are, Alex. You know, you're my brother. I wish that I would've stood up for you more."

"You know, I think he's actually getting a little bit better. It's like the stroke melted away the psycho in his brain or something."

"If you can forgive him you should. Cast off the stone. Let me hate him for you. I owe you that much."

Back at the trading post with the whole road trip group.

"We scoured the store for jewelry that said Tsela on it, but nada. Although I did manage to spend an entire week's worth of tips anyway."

"Tsela?"

"Yeah it was printed on the back of my grandmother's necklace. I thought I might find some answers here."

"Well, apparently, it is Navajo for star on the ground. So, you guys ready to go?"

"Star on the ground. Maria? What year was your grandmother born?"

"Uh, '48, I think?"

"Was she adopted?"

"Yeah. Oh my God."

"Your grandmother was my sister."

Note: The direct translation of Tsela is stars lying down. Interestingly, it's often a name in Navajo. When I googled it, the top results were names for Navajo boys.

Diego and Liz's conversation:

"Diego, I never would have reached out if it weren't an emergency. Thank your mom for me."

"The Senator was more than happy to call in a favor. She's always liked you."

"I like her too. We need more people like her."

"Look, we got lucky your dad got out at all, much less without an ankle monitor. And you pissed a few people off back there, so it's not likely that this is the end for you. Who's your lawyer? Or should I make some calls?"

"No, you've done enough. After what I did, I can't even believe you listened to my voicemail...How did you get here so fast?"

"I was at the airport in Phoenix when you called. Just had to reroute real fast."

"And how have you been?"

"Well, my fiancée left me. I'm kidding. No, I'm seeing someone. It's getting pretty serious, so…"

"Good. Me too."

"Good. We can be friends...And don't take this the wrong way. Please tell me you're not wasting that incredible brain of yours writing alien hamburger puns."

"I am working on a few projects. Nothing I can talk about, but, I'm not wasting anything."

"Well, all the coolest studies make you sign NDAs anyway, so…"

"You know what? There actually is something...Do you know what butyricol is? Worth a shot. It's this chemical I found in my friend's tox screen. I had never heard of it."

"Maybe you're slacking, Ortecho."

"I am sorry, it has only been a year. Did you literally forget everything about me?"

Note: I'm very pleased to say that when I googled butyricol, half of the top results were RNM related. Definitely not a real drug.

Malex fight in the bunker:

"We're closed!"

"Hey, that alien console piece that Jim Valenti left me...You still have it?"

"No. I sold it on eBay."

"You didn't attach it to your console."

"I tried. Doesn't fit."

"So, Tripp left this for my dad before he died. My dad thought it was a code, but this is a reference sketch of this exact piece. My dad's been looking for this thing for 30 years and Jim Valenti had it all along...I'm gonna give it to him. I want to see what he does with it once he's got it. Look, if it didn't fit in your console, then it fits somewhere else. My dad could lead us there.""Your dad hunts aliens, Alex. He'll lead my family right off a cliff."

"I've protected you so far. That's not changing. Besides, he's different these days...I don't trust him, Guerin. I just…I'm asking you to trust me.""When we were kids, you believed people were good, despite humanity doing everything to prove you otherwise. And, God, I loved you for it. But what was charming when we were 17, it's just stupid now. How do you not see that? You believe there's some good in your father?"

"Yeah. Yeah I do. God forbid I have faith in people who don't give me a good reason to."

"That's not fair."

"No? Why is your hand covered? You miss your injury because you want to hurt. Your anger made you feel safe. I will always hate my father for what he did to you, but I don't want to live in that toolshed for the rest of my life. I don't want to walk around thinking that people don't change, that one day everyone's just gonna let me down, 'cause I am not building a damn rocket ship in a hidden lair. There's one way for me off this planet. And I need to believe in a reason to stay. I promise I'll keep you safe."

"Can't let you leave with that."

"What are you gonna do? Fight me for it?"

And then Alex leaves and is kidnapped. Hit over the head by an unknown assailant. The note from Tripp blows away.

Max and Liz are talking back at Max's house while Max drinks a lot of bourbon.

"You know, you never told me why your parents immigrated here in the first place."

"My dad wanted a family, but not in Juárez. There was no opportunity, no money. Women were disappearing there all the time. He didn't want my mom to be one of them. So he fled. You're wondering why your family came here."

"If I even had a family. I know so little about my own story. And the parts I thought I understood are just unraveling."

"Max. Family is the one area where I am certain that biology does not matter. Look, when I found out that Rosa was only my half sister that didn't change anything."

"This is different...There are only three of us on this planet, as far as we know. I mean, feeling disconnected from them makes me feel completely alone."

"Completely alone? I'm right here."

"When you needed a rescue today your Mensa society, old money son of a senator ex was there to answer your prayers. I couldn't even answer a call. You didn't need me."

"Oh my God. Okay, so would you prefer that I did need you? Would you prefer to come home to find me crying into my dad's windbreaker so that you can swoop me up and drive me to El Paso for his deportation hearing in the morning?"

"That's not fair. You wanted me to talk about today."

"Yes, okay. I'm sorry. I want you to feel better."

"Well, you think maybe you could go back in time and not meet someone as handsome as Diego? Seriously. He's like if someone mixed a cologne ad with a Kennedy. It's ridiculous. I will never feel adequate again."

"You're wrong. Max, let me be clear. You are objectively better in bed...And I never woke up on a Sunday morning to him singing Hank Williams in the shower...He never snuck unreasonable tips into my dad's checks. Or quoted Henry the Fourth. Coming home to you at the end of my worst days and my best days is the only rescue I need."

I actually found this background on the Ortechos to be fascinating. In case you don't know Juárez is a pretty big city directly opposite the border from El Paso. It does have some huge crime issues. But it also is one of those border cities where the border is a little thinner. Like San Diego and Tijuana. People live in Juárez and work in El Paso and vice versa.

If you want to see a really dark & gritty portrayal of Juárez, I'd highly recommend you to check out the American version of the show The Bridge. Which literally deals with an investigation related to disappearing women.

Isobel and Maria at the Pony:

"She looks so determined."

"Yeah, neither of us would be here if she hadn't been. You know she was paralyzed 50 years and she still managed to use her powers to help ease troubled minds. You know how hard that is? To take on someone else's suffering? I mean, it doesn't just disappear. She would have been carrying all of that."

"She suffered so much loss."

"I don't know how to be worth it."

Michael on the bracelet.

"The beads are made with pollen from the alien flower. I found another plant growing at Louise's grave. Okay my working theory is that they grow from alien remains. There's this UFO lore about that Libyan desert where the flowers have been discovered before. You don't have to wear it if you don't want to. I know better than to think I can save Maria DeLuca. I hope you decide you can save yourself."

Max is still drinking after Liz went to bed. At 4:04am Diego calls and wakes her up.

"I made a call, about that toxin in your friend's system. Butyricol. It's a drug. It's a memory eraser. It was developed by a private organization and purchased by the military for weaponization. There's no approved application outside of violent combat."

Liz tries to call Alex, but he's too busy being unconscious in the back of his SUV. So his kidnapper pockets his phone.

Max has a memory flash. There's fighting, weapons clashing, a woman's voice...all while he's chained down in the cave. Louise appears and kneels down to touch his shoulder. He looks afraid, but she's trying to comfort him (even though she has blood splattered all over her white clothes). She smiles and nods and then cuts Max free of the chains with her alien weapon. She offers him her hand, but before he can take it a figure in white appears and he and Louise fight. Max cries out and hides his face.

Present day Max is visibly shook by the flash.

MUSIC:

1. Shelly Fairchild "Worry No More"

2. Powerslide "Just You And I"

3. Will Fox "Against The Tide"

4. Tommee Profitt feat. Sam Tinnesz "Bullet With Butterfly Wings"

#roswell new mexico #details #rnm season 2 #episode details #long post #rnm 210 #american woman

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swanface · 4 years

Note

Who are your top two/three favorite cats in each clan you are in?

i am cheating a tiny bit by using this version of the ask because i have one that asks for just two ocs per clan, but...here you go! under a read more because oh man, i had a lot to say.

NETTLECLAN

Berryclaw: an answer that surprises no one! i’ve been out here loving and cherishing this girl from the moment she was just a little baby, and for good reason! berryclaw’s such a well written and rounded out character who feels genuinely real. she has believable motivations, a character arc that has developed at a steady pace, and overall is just...impossible not to love. maybe i’m biased because i’ve always had such strong ties to her through swanface and crowstorm, but i genuinely think berryclaw is just the perfect sort of character to cheer for. she tries so hard to be perfect, striving to be the very best, and i think her current situation makes that super interesting...she’s really being faced with a future that she didn’t fully plan for right now, and i am beyond excited to see how she continues to grow and change according to her new circumstance!

Wrenclaw: do i have a thing for -claw cats in nettleclan? maybe. but really, wrenclaw is a character i’ve always been baseline fond of that i’ve found myself enjoying even more lately. she has a similar setup to berryclaw where she’s always trying to be the best, except with wrenclaw i feel as if there’s a more overt pressure on her to be great. berryclaw has had a lot of support throughout her life and though she’s certainly suffered, she at least had a stable mother and siblings who always loved her...wrenclaw, though, is a golden child who got the short end of the stick, i feel. i always imagine that she’s so obsessed with being perfect because she knows just how dysfunctional her family has always been and she wants to make something of it, make honeyflame proud, stand out in comparison to her siblings...but she has such a compelling internal struggle over it and i just really, really adore her.

Halfstream: an old classic...halfstream is, i think, my longest standing favorite oc in the group at this point. i’ve loved him since the days of og nettleclan, and i still absolutely adore him. his development from an angsty, violently angry apprentice who forcefully shoved everyone away from him into...well, a still grumpy but more mature and stable warrior who has a family that he loves is just too sweet. i’m typically not a fan of blatant asshole characters, but halfstream has always been more than that for me...he’s sympathetic because he’s always known his own flaws, even when he felt like the world was against him. he didn’t remain stuck in his suffering, either; instead, he clawed his way out of it to become the cat he is. he still retained his sharp attitude, of course, which i think is so important (i can’t imagine him ever truly mellowing out), but he’s able to be at least somewhat happy now as a full grown adult with a definite place in his clan. seeing his love for his kits also always makes my heart so soft, even if that love didn’t go over so well in some cases...sorry for snowclaw, halfstream. i still love you.

CREEKCLAN

Sparrowheart: how can you not love sparrowheart? he’s got an undeniable charm, both in the roleplay and as a character. i love him because of all the ups and downs he’s been through, the struggles with his heritage and the way that affected him in creekclan, the internal conflict he’s had over his time as deputy and how he chose to step down...and now seeing him as a settled in father i feel like he’s really found a good place to be. he seems genuinely happy, and that makes me happy, because i absolutely adore this boy. sparrowheart manages to both be a source of happiness, laughter, and joy without ever becoming a joke of a character himself...he’s understanding, sympathetic, kind, and incredibly well rounded. he might not be in the spotlight now as much as he was in his past, but i’ll always have a spot for him in my heart.

Currentstar: woah, two toms in a row? wild, i know, but...currentstar is another absolute favorite character of mine. i didn’t give him a lot of thought for a good while, because for a long time he was little more than a background character, but with his recent development under snow, he’s become an absolute standout for me. i love the contrast of his more traditional style of thinking and leadership, and i also adore the arc he’s been written to have...from kithood, currentstar’s always been expected to be the mature one, the golden child, again...i think i just have a thing for characters who have high expectations resting on their shoulders that are just, yknow, doing their best to meet those expectations. really, though, currentstar is an absolutely unique character within not only creekclan but the group as a whole, and i’m so glad to see him settling into his role as leader of creekclan.

Carpfang: ah, my ultimate weakness...an angry, snarky girl who covers up her vulnerability with an attitude. carpfang has always been a literal black sheep in her litter and in her family, and though i also adore her sisters, she’s always been the standout one for me. her way of coping with the cards she’s been dealt in life is objectively not the healthiest, but it’s undeniably interesting and also very understandable. the dynamic she has with brightheart and cherrysong is so incredibly sweet, and i adore watching her interact with marigoldpaw...her protectiveness over those few cats she holds close makes her more than just a bitchy outer shell, and that makes her really special to me! i think she has a lot more room to grow and develop into herself, and i’m excited to see how her arc continues with time.

JAGGEDCLAN

Stonefang: okay, so. technically she’s not a jaggedclan cat right now, maybe, but it would be a crime to not include her here. stonefang is so masterfully written that sometimes it feels less like i’m reading roleplay posts and more like she’s a character in a novel...her arc is absolutely brilliantly planned, and yknow, i’m really starting to realize that i have a thing for protagonist / hero-esque characters, BUT. that aside. stonefang’s storyline isn’t the only thing that makes her one of my favorite cats. her personality is amazing as well. she’s got such a big heart and is so deeply selfless that she’s willing to sacrifice herself to save her family, her home, those that she loves...watching her struggle with palestar’s return and the thought that maybe she’d been wrong all along was so genuinely heartbreaking and tragic. that doubt shook her to her very core, and was such a huge turning point for her, and GOD, i just...adore stonefang. i adore every interaction she has with her clanmates, with those around her, how motherly and kindhearted she is...i truly think she’s one of the best characters in the group as a whole. stan stonefang!

Eveningstorm: i am usually not one for sweet and soft characters, and for a while i wasn’t sure where i stood on eveningstorm, but with time she’s grown to be a favorite of mine. i’ve talked about her before, but one reason i think i’ve been drawn to her in particular is that...yes, she’s soft in that she’s kind and compassionate, but she has a certain determination to her, a hardness beneath all that fluff. she doesn’t let anyone step all over her or the cats that she loves, and her sweetness is so nicely balanced with her energy that she’s just...compelling. she doesn’t have any big dramatic backstory to build her up, but instead, her appeal comes from her relationship with her clanmates and the place she has built for herself. i genuinely forget sometimes that she wasn’t a jaggedclan born cat, because she belongs there so perfectly. even if she’s not my usual type, eveningstorm is a character that i really adore, and she’s such a lovely presence to have around in jaggedclan.

Swallowpaw: another cat who i absolutely could never have predicted being on a list like this, except this time to an extreme. though i never hated swallowpaw, i remember thinking of her as, well, an absolute fucking menace of a character. she was always sticking her nose into trouble, bragging and boasting and starting arguments, and sometimes characters like that aren’t ones you’re attracted to, but...i don’t know how, but she got me, somewhere along the way. her struggle with her bloodline and how deeply affected she was to learn that she wasn’t all that she’d built herself up to be was such a tragic thing for a character so young to endure, and the way that she handled it with turning against her father and carving out her own path to purposefully lift herself up to that sense of importance she feels she deserves...it’s really brilliant to me. swallowpaw still isn’t the sort of character that i look at with the lens of her being perfect, an angel, can do no wrong...instead, i love that she does do wrong, and also that she’s been set up for such a difficult life from the very start. she’s not a good person, and that’s so intriguing, because she is sympathetic when you really lean back and look at her. i wouldn’t really call her a villain, per say, but she’s certainly a more antagonistic sort of character, and i absolutely love her for that. she’s so interesting that i always want to see more of her.

FOGCLAN

Lilystorm: of all of the former fogclan cats turned traitors (turned fogclan cats again, in lilystorm’s case), lilystorm has always been one of the most intriguing for me. the fact that her loyalty to palestar wavered for just long enough for her to run away and then returned full force, strongly enough for her to feel such deep regret...it’s such a brilliant setup for a character that stands out from the crowd. nearly every other fogclan cat was happy to leave, but lilystorm remembered the good times, which i think is a super realistic and well done take on the situation as a whole. she’s always been so consistently well written, sticking to her personality and never wavering or seeming out of character...and despite not being as kind or as soft as some others, i think lilystorm’s always been a very sympathetic cat, at least for me. she clearly struggles a lot with internal conflicts that she’s never truly been comfortable with voicing out loud, and i can only imagine how difficult it must be for her to not really have anyone that she can fully confide in. she’s so determined to be strong that she tries to erase her vulnerability, and that’s so compelling to me...overall i just really adore lilystorm and think she’s one of the best and most unique fogclan cats around, former or current.

Bramblefang: when bramblefang first started to exist as more than an npc in fogclan, i was instantly hooked. i think that i really just enjoy perspectives that vary from the typical, immediate response that a lot of characters seem to have to fogclan and to palestar, which is an instant “oh, she’s obviously Bad and Evil” sort of deal. bramblefang was a cat who had been through enough hardship to be vulnerable to the sort of masterful manipulation palestar had weaved, and seeing his anger at hollyfur for abandoning him and their clan was so excellent...and then he started to change, started to see the bad in his situation, and i still found myself super attached. bramblefang’s a loyal character, through and through, dedicated deeply to those he loves, and i think that’s perhaps his biggest appeal. he’s no standout hero who’s going to be bold and act overtly out against the higher powers, but watching him begin to realize that the leader and clan he dedicated himself to in his weakest moments is maybe not as wonderful as he’d thought...it’s super intriguing.

Dippernose: so, a trend throughout all my favorite fogclan cats is that they’re all characters who have, objectively, found themselves on the wrong side of things at one point in time...but that’s why they’re so special and so interesting, in my opinion. it’s easy to make a character who is good, who understands right from wrong, who sees everything clearly, but it’s so much more fun to have someone who doesn’t. dippernose fits that perfectly for me, and her belief in fogclan and in palestar is made all the more interesting because of her relationship with her brother. what do you do when the cat you care for most is the practical opposite of you? dippernose’s development feels like it’s just beginning to take off, so i don’t have as much of an essay to write on her, but right now i really enjoy the unique feeling she brings to the clan...she feels very realistic to me, a young cat who doesn’t quite know what to believe in as she’s being torn in so many different directions. i’m really excited to see more of her as fogclan progresses!

TRIBE

Spark Feather: spark feather is an absolute darling little lad. i’ve been fond of him from the start. his sunny disposition and cheerful nature transforming into something more bitter and reserved has been such an interesting process to watch, and though i doubt he’ll ever go back to the spark he was before raven and flickerclaw left, i like to see the little bits of his old personality shining through now that the tribe is once again settled down. overall i think that spark feather is just a really enjoyable, easy to root for character that you kind of can’t help but adore...he was left behind by his closest friend and had his whole world altered, but despite it all, he made it through alive and okay. i really admire his steadfast determination and the slow healing he’s been able to do, and i’m always excited to read any roleplay he’s involved in.

Aspen Snow: can you have spark feather without aspen snow? probably not. aspen snow is another case of bad girl with a bad attitude, and boy oh boy does she have justification for it. like spark feather, she’s suffered so much in watching her brother basically walk away from her and from their home, but unlike raven and spark feather, aspen snow and flickerclaw...well. it feels like there’s something still there, still lingering. watching her cope with anger is always so intriguing but so upsetting, and i wish that she could just catch a break for once, but the world seems determined to keep tossing difficulties her way...despite all of it, though, i think aspen snow remains strong...as strong as she can, at least. i obviously adore her dynamic with spark feather and i think she has some other really sweet hidden gems of relationships within the tribe despite her more standoffish nature. she’s just fun to watch, in the end, and i really enjoy her!

Butterfly: though butterfly is a fairly new character in the tribe, i’ve really been enjoying her and how she’s already being set up for such a heartbreaking storyline. she was born into a world with no one truly willing to care for and cherish her, which is tragic on its own, but the way that she’s already growing up to realize that the world she’s dreamed up isn’t all it’s made out to be...god. she’s an absolutely precious little angel that you can’t help but adore, and watching her get built up only to be broken down is just so upsetting...i’m super excited to see where she goes now that a semblance of the truth has been revealed to her! i think she could grow up to be one of the tribe’s most interesting characters.

#berryclaw #wrenclaw #halfstream #sparrowheart #currentstar #carpfang #stonefang #eveningstorm #swallowpaw #lilystorm #bramblefang #dippernose #spark feather #aspen snow #butterfly #anonymous #ask

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undead-gearhead · 4 years

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D, F, H and J for Kirsten and James? :D ♥ Unless that's too many. x'D Then halvsies instead, with two letters for each?

Jaaaake I can always count on you for these. And nah! Thats a perfectly fine amount. I’m just gonna throw it under a read more bc this shits gonna get LONG.

Kirsten first, cause she’s my OG Deputy.

D: Decoration1. how would they decorate a house if they had one under their name? Sort of rustic style, I suppose. Warm inviting colors and candles everywhere. Old barn wood, that sort of thing. Also flowers. She likes flowers a lot. 2. how would they decorate their child’s room? Pastel yellows and greens! Probably a farm animal type deal, sort of story bookish? Babies like ducks, right?3. how do they decorate their own room? Again, rustic style. Retro four poster bed. A wall of pictures that are important to her. There’s probably plaid bed sheets. 4. what type of clothes and accessories do they wear? Flannel and jeans. Western boots and sunglasses. She dresses for comfort, not looks. She does have a little cross necklace her mom gave her when she was a teenager though.5. do they like makeup/nail/beauty trends? Haha no. She does a face mask every once in a while as a Treat Yo Self but other than that its a hardcore ‘fuck it’. Lightens her hair tho.

F: Fun1. what do they do for fun? She used to help her dad with the race car, but now she just sort of sits around. I could see her hanging out with Hudson sometimes and just bullshitting. 2. what is their ideal party? Field bonfire! Y’know. Booze and friends. What could go wrong? 3. who would they have the most fun with? Sharky. Without a doubt. He enables her chaotic nature. 4. can they have fun while conforming to rules? Uh, sort of. She’s an ex dirt track racer. She can get pretty rowdy. 5. do they go out a lot? Not really, but she isn’t a shut in either. She hits the bar for dinner like once a week maybe.

H: Heat1. do they rather a hot or cold room? Cold! 2. do they prefer summer or winter? She’s definitely a summer fan. 3. do they like the snow? She’s from Montana so she’s... used to it at least. (No. She hates it) 4. do they have a favorite summer activity? Watching dirt track! 5. do they have a favorite winter activity? Staying the fuck indoors

J: Joy1. what makes them happy? Good food, dirt track, friends. 2. who makes them happy? Sharky! 3. are there any songs that bring them joy? Led Zeppelin- Black Dog. She used to jam to it with her dad in the garage. 4. are they happy often? She is! She’s very content with life until yknow. Cult shit. 5. what brings them the most joy in the world? I don’t wanna say dogs but. Dogs. She’s definitely one of those people to audibly gasp over every dog she sees. She just LOVES them.

And James!

D: Decoration1. how would they decorate a house if they had one under their name? You ever seen the home decor section of a Bass Pro Shop? Like that but with movie posters and less camo. Also taxidermy. 2. how would they decorate their child’s room? Outdoorsy but. Cute. 3. how do they decorate their own room? Let’s be entirely honest he’s a 25 year old man who lives by himself. His bed is on the fucking floor. He does have a dresser and other furniture though. It’s relatively clean at least. 4. what type of clothes and accessories do they wear? Denim vest, camo, jeans. He’s got an antler necklace he wears, it’s made from the same rack his mom’s antler hairpins are made from. 5. do they like makeup/nail/beauty trends? Haha no. You’d be lucky to see him use anything besides soap on his face.

F: Fun1. what do they do for fun? Fishing! 2. what is their ideal party? He’s similar to Kirsten in the regard of bonfire. Only he’d be the rowdy guy at those sort of parties.3. who would they have the most fun with? Nick and Sharky. Probably. 4. can they have fun while conforming to rules? Yes but he doesn’t 5. do they go out a lot? By out do you mean by outdoors alone? Yes.

H: Heat1. do they rather a hot or cold room? Temperate. He’s not too inclined either way. He can sleep anywhere. 2. do they prefer summer or winter? Summer. He can get up to more jackassery that time of year. 3. do they like the snow? He’s okay with it. 4. do they have a favorite summer activity? Fishing. Again. 5. do they have a favorite winter activity? Hunting.

J: Joy1. what makes them happy? Outdoorsy shit. Camping. That sort of thing.2. who makes them happy? His mom. Mary May cept he doesn’t talk about that3. are there any songs that bring them joy? You know those obnoxiously upbeat 50s bubblegum pop songs? Those. Not because he likes them, because he’s more of a country and rock guy. His mom just sang them a lot because she worked at a retro diner that played them. 4. are they happy often? Honestly? No. But he manages. 5. what brings them the most joy in the world? The outdoors. He’s a grimey woods boy

#martha answers stuff #ofravensandgenesis #deputy james givens #deputy kirsten sutherland #thanks jakie!

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douxreviews · 5 years

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Arrow - ‘My Name is Emiko Queen' Review

“I’m not Oliver Queen.”

While that quote is true in the strictest sense, Emiko Queen is doing a damn good imitation.

From the cold open it was obvious The Powers That Be were going for an OG Arrow esthetic. From the voiceover, and (camera) shot selection to the little book of names, and a wounded Emiko going to Rene for help as Oliver went to Felicity. The similarities didn’t end there. She has just as many trust issues as Oliver and a stubbornness that up till now I had associated more with Moira’s side of the family.

There is one profound difference between Emiko and her half-brother. Where Oliver sought to bring justice to the people his father had wronged, Emiko wants justice on behalf of the wrongs done to her. This is neither surprising nor unexpected. Oliver grew up with every advantage. His time in “hell” taught him humility and gave him an appreciation for those without silver spoons. Emiko grew up with little except the unconditional love of her mother. Her loss would drive anyone to desire vengeance.

That is what we are talking about here. For all Emiko’s talk of justice, her war on crime in The Glades is not born out of benevolence. She has systematically eliminated everyone who had a hand in her mother’s death as she searches for the person who pulled the trigger. She can wrap it up in as much talk of the downtrodden as she likes. Revenge is not justice. I'm not judging. I'm just stating facts.

That knowledge aside we are left with a host of unanswered questions. Chief among them why would a woman abandoned and forgotten by her wealthy father imitate her half-brother? Unlike Oliver, she’d always known about the existence of her half-sibling and the “other” Queen family. And considering Oliver’s checkered past, he seems an odd choice for emulation. And how? I can see her learning to defend herself out of the necessity of growing up in a rough neighborhood. But I can’t imagine archery being her weapon of choice.

Oliver must come to grips with the fact that the latest person to don the Hood does so out of more than just admiration. Even after all the suspect deeds committed by Mama and Papa Queen, this is a new low. To know his father severed all ties to his own daughter makes Oliver question all of his father’s motives. Especially when he did so while knowingly raising another man’s daughter as his own. Although I doubt that realization has hit Oliver yet. Moira’s behavior is just as bad. It’s not surprising she resented Robert’s other family. But the idea she would go out of her way to ensure that Robert’s child was not only discarded like an old toy but deliberately kept poor is unbelievably spiteful. So why is most of Oliver’s anger directed at his father even after Felicity and by extension the writers repeatedly lay the blame for Emiko’s abandonment at both Robert and Moira’s feet?

Speaking of marriage issues, what is up with Diggle? After years of questioning Lyla’s morality, in large part due to her involvement with the “Ghost Initiative” AKA The Suicide Squad, he unilaterally decides to bring it back? And to force Lyla to defend a policy he knows she disagrees with is unlike him. Is his hatred of Diaz that intense or is his moral fiber fraying? Does Dig really believe Diaz will flush out Dante. And is that be before or after Oliver and Felicity find out that Diaz is alive and “free.”

While Diggle’s motives may not be clear, we clarified a few unresolved issues. Deputy Director Bell is indeed subordinate to Lyla. However, her superiors at The Pentagon have appointed him as their watchdog which not only explains his apparent autonomy but also the deference that both husband and wife have been giving him. It also explained Ben Turner’s appearance in Slabside. He saves Lyla’s life at the risk of getting his head blown off and she repays him by scrubbing The Suicide Squad and sending him to a Supermax prison. No wonder Ben was pissed.

That brings us to Rene, both present and future. In the present, Emiko’s pursuit of her mother’s killers dovetails with his desire to protect his neighborhood and Lord knows Rene can relate to her anger issues. Besides, partnering with her fills the void left by his former teammates and offers him the means to make a difference. However, the fact Emiko is neither part of the flash-forwards nor mentioned as part of Oliver’s Mark of Four pact leads to the suspicion that their partnership is short-lived. So it is not hard to draw a line from the current iteration of Rene adrift from his former teammates and frustrated by his inability to protect his home to the future Mayor bent on protecting The Glades at the expense of Star City at large. What is still in question is the identity of future Rene’s mystery friend and murderer of Felicity (IMDB has him listed as Kevin Dale)? Who does he represent and are they pulling Future Rene’s strings or do they just think they are?

To be honest, this episode left me with mixed feelings. I appreciated the old-school feel. And the explanation of Emiko’s abandonment gave more depth to the Queen family dynamics years after Robert and Moira’s deaths, and Walter’s departure. Yet Oliver’s anger troubled me. Not only because of its one-sidedness but because his anger on his own behalf felt petty and his anger on Emiko’s behalf felt unearned. More important than that, the episode meant to introduce us to Emiko gave us more questions than answers and spent far more time on the people affected by her existence than on the woman herself.

3 out of 5 quilt forts

Parting Thoughts:

How is Emiko bankrolling this little enterprise? Bribing mobsters ain’t cheap.

In that same vein, did Curtis borrow an A.R.G.U.S. van or does a tricked out van come with the secret lair and the Hood?

We won’t discuss the whole chain of custody issue of giving crime scene evidence to the wife of an SCPD deputy. Can we say inadmissible in court, boys and girls?

Emiko threatened to put an arrow through Rene. Oliver’s been there and done that.

It was a nice touch having Jamey Sheridan read Robert Queen’s letter. It was bizarre that it was the only time my close captioning specified who was talking - wrongly stating it was Oliver.

I could find no mention of Talis Global in the world of DC Comics. However, William Glenmorgan definitely exists. So does Santa Prisca.

Future Rene doesn’t have his scar. Did The Glades Mayor get plastic surgery?

The Archer program wiped out crime in The Glades. And somehow Zoe almost ruined everything when she got her hands on it. Color me curious.

And I meant to ask this in Unmasked. When did the Queen Mansion get destroyed? Was Isabel Rochev so vindictive that she burned the place to the ground?

Quotes:

Rene: “I guess stubbornness comes with the suit.”

Diaz: “Let me be real clear for the cheap seats. Screw you.”

Felicity: “Some husbands bring their wives home flowers, and mine brings me blood from a crime scene. They say romance is dead.”

Oliver: “My father was always very good at burying secrets.”

Felicity: “One more thing.” Oliver: “Just one more?”

Lyla: “Are you questioning my decision, Deputy Director?” Bell: “Of course not, Madam Director. That kind of radical out-of-the-box approach is exactly the shot in the arm A.R.G.U.S. needs. I’m sure the Pentagon will be very excited to hear about this.”

Emiko: “People can’t let you down if you don’t let them in.”

Rene: “At least as mayor, I’m actually getting things done, not wasting my time running around the city in a hockey mask pretending that it mattered.”

Lyla: “And here I thought I was the one in danger of becoming Amanda Waller.”

Curtis: “I can knock out the whole system – cameras, motion sensors, the whole shebang. But it’s up to you guys to deal with that army of terminators yourselves.”

Emiko: “I’m still not looking for a team.” Rene: “Ok, fine. Then how about a partner?”

Dale: “Star City is a cancer. The only way to get rid of a cancer is to destroy it.”

Diaz: When I agreed to this deal, no one said anything about sticking a bomb in the back of my head."

Shari loves sci-fi, fantasy, supernatural, and anything with a cape.

#Arrow #Green Arrow #Oliver Queen #Felicity Smoak #John Diggle #DC Comics #Arrowverse #Arrow Reviews #Doux Reviews #TV Reviews

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nigeiadigitalmarketingcompany · 5 years

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John Helmer: MH17 Evidence Tampering Revealed by Malaysia – FBI Attempt To Seize Black Boxes; Dutch Cover-Up of Forged Telephone Tapes; Ukrainian Air Force Hid Radar Records; Crash Site Witness Testimony Misreported

Digital Elixir John Helmer: MH17 Evidence Tampering Revealed by Malaysia – FBI Attempt To Seize Black Boxes; Dutch Cover-Up of Forged Telephone Tapes; Ukrainian Air Force Hid Radar Records; Crash Site Witness Testimony Misreported

Yves here. Hoo boy. The idea that eastern Ukrainian insurgents or Russia would target a passenger plane never made any sense (unless the plane had high-priority targets or cargo), although it’s always been possible that the downing of MH17 was an accident, and some efforts to explain what happened are based on that idea. For Malaysia, starting with Prime Minister Mahathir, to stand up and say the US tried to cook the record to pin the crash on Russia is remarkable.

By John Helmer, the longest continuously serving foreign correspondent in Russia, and the only western journalist to direct his own bureau independent of single national or commercial ties. Helmer has also been a professor of political science, and an advisor to government heads in Greece, the United States, and Asia. He is the first and only member of a US presidential administration (Jimmy Carter) to establish himself in Russia. Originally published at Dances with Bears

A new documentary from Max van der Werff, the leading independent investigator of the Malaysia Airlines Flight MH17 disaster, has revealed breakthrough evidence of tampering and forging of prosecution materials; suppression of Ukrainian Air Force radar tapes; and lying by the Dutch, Ukrainian, US and Australian governments. An attempt by agents of the US Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) to take possession of the black boxes of the downed aircraft is also revealed by a Malaysian National Security Council official for the first time.

The sources of the breakthrough are Malaysian — Prime Minister of Malaysia Mohamad Mahathir; Colonel Mohamad Sakri, the officer in charge of the MH17 investigation for the Prime Minister’s Department and Malaysia’s National Security Council following the crash on July 17, 2014; and a forensic analysis by Malaysia’s OG IT Forensic Services of Ukrainian Secret Service (SBU) telephone tapes which Dutch prosecutors have announced as genuine.

The 298 casualties of MH17 included 192 Dutch; 44 Malaysians; 27 Australians; 15 Indonesians. The nationality counts vary because the airline manifest does not identify dual nationals of Australia, the UK, and the US.

The new film throws the full weight of the Malaysian Government, one of the five members of the Joint Investigation Team (JIT), against the published findings and the recent indictment of Russian suspects reported by the Dutch officials in charge of the JIT; in addition to Malaysia and The Netherlands, the members of the JIT are Australia, Ukraine and Belgium. Malaysia’s exclusion from the JIT at the outset, and Belgium’s inclusion (4 Belgian nationals were listed on the MH17 passenger manifest), have never been explained.

The film reveals the Malaysian Government’s evidence for judging the JIT’s witness testimony, photographs, video clips, and telephone tapes to have been manipulated by the Ukrainian Security Service (SBU), and to be inadmissible in a criminal prosecution in a Malaysian or other national or international court.

For the first time also, the Malaysian Government reveals how it got in the way of attempts the US was organizing during the first week after the crash to launch a NATO military attack on eastern Ukraine. The cover story for that was to rescue the plane, passenger bodies, and evidence of what had caused the crash. In fact, the operation was aimed at defeating the separatist movements in the Donbass, and to move against Russian-held Crimea.

The new film reveals that a secret Malaysian military operation took custody of the MH17 black boxes on July 22, preventing the US and Ukraine from seizing them. The Malaysian operation, revealed in the film by the Malaysian Army colonel who led it, eliminated the evidence for the camouflage story, reinforcing the German Government’s opposition to the armed attack, and forcing the Dutch to call off the invasion on July 27.

The 28-minute documentary by Max van der Werff and Yana Yerlashova has just been released. Yerlashova was the film director and co-producer with van der Werff and Ahmed Rifazal. Vitaly Biryaukov directed the photography. Watch it in full here.

The full interview with Prime Minister Mahathir was released in advance; it can be viewed and read here.

Mahathir reveals why the US, Dutch and Australian governments attempted to exclude Malaysia from membership of the JIT in the first months of the investigation. During that period, US, Dutch, Australian and NATO officials initiated a plan for 9,000 troops to enter eastern Ukraine, ostensibly to secure the crash scene, the aircraft and passenger remains, and in response to the alleged Russian role in the destruction of MH17 on July 17; for details of that scheme, read this.

Although German opposition to military intervention forced its cancellation, the Australians sent a 200-man special forces unit to The Netherlands and then Kiev. The European Union and the US followed with economic sanctions against Russia on July 29.

Malaysian resistance to the US attempts to blame Moscow for the aircraft shoot-down was made clear in the first hours after the incident to then-President Barack Obama by Malaysia’s Prime Minister at the time, Najib Razak. That story can be followed here and here.

In an unusual decision to speak in the new documentary, Najib’s successor Prime Minister Mahathir announced: “They never allowed us to be involved from the very beginning. This is unfair and unusual. So we can see they are not really looking at the causes of the crash and who was responsible. But already they have decided it must be Russia. So we cannot accept that kind of attitude. We are interested in the rule of law, in justice for everyone irrespective of who is involved. We have to know who actually fired the missile, and only then can we accept the report as the complete truth.”

On July 18, in the first Malaysian Government press conference after the shoot-down, Najib (right) announced agreements he had already reached by telephone with Obama and Petro Poroshenko, the Ukrainian President. “ ‘Obama and I agreed that the investigation will not be hidden and the international teams have to be given access to the crash scene.’ [Najib] said the Ukrainian president ‎has pledged that there would be a full, thorough and independent investigation and Malaysian officials would be invited to take part. ‘He also confirmed that his government will negotiate with rebels in the east of the country in order to establish a humanitarian corridor to the crash site,’ said Najib. He also said that no one should remove any debris or the black box from the scene. The Government of Malaysia is dispatching a special flight to Kiev, carrying a Special Malaysia Disaster Assistance and Rescue Team, as well as a medical team. But we must – and we will – find out precisely what happened to this flight. No stone can be left unturned.”

The new film reveals in an interview with Colonel Mohamad Sakri, the head of the Malaysian team, what happened next. Sakri’s evidence, filmed in his office at Putrajaya, is the first to be reported by the press outside Malaysia in five years. A year ago, Sakri gave a partial account of his mission to a Malaysian newspaper.

Source: https://www.youtube.com/

“I talked to my prime minister [Najib],” Colonel Sakri says. “He directed me to go to the crash site immediately.” At the time Sakri was a senior security official at the Disaster Management Division of the Prime Minister’s Department. Sakri says that after arriving in Kiev, Poroshenko’s officials blocked the Malaysians. “We were not allowed to go there…so I took a small team to leave Kiev going to Donetsk secretly.” There Sakri toured the crash site, and met with officials of the Donetsk separatist administration headed by Alexander Borodai.

With eleven men, including two medical specialists, a signalman, and Malaysian Army commandos, Sakri had raced to the site ahead of an armed convoy of Australian, Dutch and Ukrainian government men. The latter were blocked by Donetsk separatist units. The Australian state press agency ABC reported their military convoy, prodded from Kiev by the appearance of Australian and Dutch foreign ministers Julie Bishop and Frans Timmermans, had been forced to abandon their mission. That was after Colonel Sakri had taken custody of the MH17 black boxes in a handover ceremony filmed at Borodai’s office in Donetsk on July 22.

US sources told the Wall Street Journal at the time “the [Sakri] mission’s success delivered a political victory for Mr. Najib’s government… it also handed a gift to the rebels in the form of an accord, signed by the top Malaysian official present in Donetsk, calling the crash site ‘the territory of the Donetsk People’s Republic.’…That recognition could antagonize Kiev and Washington, which have striven not to give any credibility to the rebels, whose main leaders are Russian citizens with few ties to the area. State Department deputy spokeswoman Marie Harf said in a briefing Monday that the negotiation ‘in no way legitimizes’ separatists.”

The Australian state radio then reported the Ukrainian government as claiming the black box evidence showed “the reason for the destruction and crash of the plane was massive explosive decompression arising from multiple shrapnel perforations from a rocket explosion.” This was a fabrication – the evidence of the black boxes, the cockpit voice recorder and the flight data recorder, first reported six weeks later in September by the Dutch Safety Board, showed nothing of the kind; read what their evidence revealed.

Foreign Minister Bishop, in Kiev on July 24, claimed she was negotiating with the Ukrainians for the Australian team in the country to carry arms. “I don’t envisage that we will ever resort to [arms],” she told her state news agency, “but it is a contingency planning, and you would be reckless not to include it in this kind of agreement. But I stress our mission is unarmed because it is [a] humanitarian mission.”

In Kiev on July 24, 2014, left to right: Australian Foreign Minister Julie Bishop; Dutch Foreign Minister Frans Timmermans, Ukrainian Foreign Minister Pavlo Klimkin. Source: https://www.alamy.com/ The NATO intervention plan was still under discussion, but the black boxes were already under Malaysian control.

By the time she spoke to her state radio, Bishop was concealing that the plan for armed intervention, including 3,000 Australian troops, had been called off. She was also concealing that the black boxes were already in Colonel Sakri’s possession.

The document signed by Sakri for the handover of the black boxes is visible in the new documentary. Sakri signed himself and added the stamp of the National Security Council of Malaysia.

Col. Sakri says on film the Donetsk leaders expressed surprise at the delay of the Malaysians in arriving at the crash site to recover the black boxes. “Why are you so late”, [Borodai] said…I think [that was] very funny.” Source: https://www.youtube.com/Min. 05:47.

Sakri goes on to say he was asked by the OSCE’s special monitoring mission for Ukraine to hand over the black boxes; he refused. He was then met by agents of the FBI (Min 6:56). “They approached me to show them the black box. I said no.” He also reports that in Kiev the Ukrainian Government tried “forcing me to leave the black boxes with them. We said no. We cannot. We cannot allow.”

The handover ceremony in Donetsk, July 22, 2014: on far left, the two black boxes from MH17; in the centre, shaking hands, Alexander Borodai and Mohamad Sakri.

Permission for Colonel Sakri to speak to the press has been authorized by his superiors at the prime ministry in Putrajaya, and his disclosures agreed with them in advance.

Subsequent releases from the Kiev government to substantiate the allegation of Russian involvement in the shoot-down have included telephone tape recordings. These were presented last month by the JIT as their evidence for indictment of four Russians; for details, read this.

Van der Werff and Yerlashova contracted with OG IT Forensic Services, a Malaysian firm specializing in forensic analysis of audio, video and digital materials for court proceedings, to examine the telephone tapes. The Kuala Lumpur firm has been endorsed by the Malaysian Bar. The full 143-page technical report can be read here.

The findings reported by Akash Rosen and illustrated on camera are that the telephone recordings have been cut, edited and fabricated. The source of the tapes, according to the JIT press conference on June 19 by Dutch police officer Paulissen, head of the National Criminal Investigation Service of The Netherlands, was the Ukrainian SBU. Similar findings of tape fabrication and evidence tampering are reported on camera in the van der Werff film by a German analyst, Norman Ritter.

Left: Dutch police chief Paulissen grins as he acknowledged during the June 19, 2019, press conference of JIT that the telephone tape evidence on which the charges against the four accused Russians came from the Ukrainian SBU. Minute 16:02 Right: Norman Ritter presented his analysis to interviewer Billy Sixt to show the telephone tape evidence has been forged in nine separate “manipulations”. One of the four accused by the JIT last month, Sergei Dubinsky, testifies from Min. 17 of the documentary. He says his men recovered the black boxes from the crash site and delivered them to Borodai at 2300 hours on July 17; the destruction of the aircraft occurred at 1320. Dubinsky testifies that he had no orders for and took no part in the shoot-down. As for the telephone tape-recording evidence against him, Dubinsky says the calls were made days before July 17, and edited by the SBU. “I dare them to publish the uncut conversations, and then you will get a real picture of what was discussed.” (Min. 17:59).

Van der Werff and Yerlashova filmed at the crash site in eastern Ukraine. Several local witnesses were interviewed, including a man named Alexander from Torez town, and Valentina Kovalenko, a woman from the farming village of Red October. The man said the missile equipment alleged by the JIT to have been transported from across the Russian border on July 17 was in Torez at least one, possibly two days before the shoot-down on July 17; he did not confirm details the JIT has identified as a Buk system.

Kovalenko, first portrayed in a BBC documentary three years ago (starting at Min.26:50) as a “unique” eye-witness to the missile launch, clarifies more precisely than the BBC reported where the missile she saw had been fired from.

BBC documentary, “The Conspiracy Files. Who Shot Down MH17” -- Min. 27:00. The BBC broadcast its claims over three episodes in April-May 2016. For a published summary, read this.

This was not the location identified in press statements by JIT. Van der Werff explains: “we specifically asked [Kovalenko] to point exactly in the direction the missile came from. I then asked twice if maybe it was from the direction of the JIT launch site. She did not see a launch nor a plume from there. Notice the JIT ‘launch site’ is less than two kilometres from her house and garden. The BBC omitted this crucial part of her testimony.”

According to Kovalenko in the new documentary, at the firing location she has now identified precisely, “at that moment the Ukrainian Army were there.”

Kovalenko also remembers that on the days preceding the July 17 missile firing she witnessed, there had been Ukrainian military aircraft operating in the sky above her village. She says they used evasion techniques including flying in the shadow of civilian aircraft she also saw at the same time.

On July 17, three other villagers told van der Werff they had seen a Ukrainian military jet in the vicinity and at the time of the MH17 crash.

Concluding the documentary, van der Werff and Yerlashova present an earlier interview filmed in Donetsk by independent Dutch journalist Stefan Beck, whom JIT officials had tried to warn off visiting the area. Beck interviewed Yevgeny Volkov, who was an air controller for the Ukrainian Air Force in July 2014. Volkov was asked to comment on Ukrainian Government statements, endorsed by the Dutch Safety Board report into the crash and in subsequent reports by the JIT, that there were no radar records of the airspace at the time of the shoot-down because Ukrainian military radars were not operational.

Volkov explained that on July 17 there were three radar units at Chuguev on “full alert” because “fighter jets were taking off from there;” Chuguev is 200 kilometres northwest of the crash site. He disputed that the repairs to one unit meant none of the three was operating. Ukrainian radar records of the location and time of the MH17 attack were made and kept, Volkov said. “There [they] have it. In Ukraine they have it.”

Last month, at the JIT press conference in The Netherlands on June 19, the Malaysian representative present, Mohammed Hanafiah Bin Al Zakaria, one of three Solicitors-General of the Malaysian Attorney General’s ministry, refused to endorse for the Malaysian Governnment the JIT evidence or its charges against Russia. “Malaysia would like to reiterate our commitment to the JIT seeking justice for the victims,” Zakaria said. “The objective of the JIT is to complete the investigations and gathering of evidence of all witnesses for the purpose of prosecuting the wrongdoers and Malaysia stands by the rule of law and the due process.” [Question: do you support the conclusions?] “Part of the conclusions [inaudible] – do not change our positions.”

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fidgetheart · 5 years

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hey i’m looking to get into a role play but i’ve never done it before so do you have any recommendations on how to start, how to roleplay, etc??

aw man, uhhh… well, I got some wc ones! Land of the Lost is currently accepting, a new reboot of Clans of the Shoshone, Falling Leaves (for Pack and Clan), and Left in Lesdin’s gonna be opening soon!

for how to start, I def recommend creating a character you want to rp - you want one that you can connect to, and can rp often. I’ve created characters on a whim multiple times before, which… wasn’t great bc I ended up abandoning them basically which was just a mess dfjhfdh

start with a design, name, and a base personality, but give yourself room for them to grow!! if you have any ideas in mind with them, definitely talk to a mod if you’re in a group rp, like the ones I listed. you can talk to others to set up relationships, or just rp and build them from there! you can be vague with family and bg, or go all out! tho it def depends on what the rp has going on, bc you may want to add bg events to their bio o: also there’s normally a bio format posted with each rp, so you don’t need to worry about setting one up!

also, bc apps are through google docs, I highly recommend saving any oc info you make bc I keep forgetting to do that and I immediately forget what I wrote dsfhjfdsh

with rping in general, it’s gonna depend on the rp! usually the ones I’m in are more literate, which asks for at least a paragraph reply, but it’s not always the case! also, you don’t have to be a writer to rp! it may be awkward at first, but it definitely gets easier as you rp more and more - I’ll give an example at the end!

oh! I can’t believe I forgot this, but reading the rules is highly important! please read them and make sure you follow them

hmmmm…. I’m not sure what else to add for it?? I feel like I’m not answering your questions hhhh - I’m bad at explaining stuff rip

outside of discord, I have no idea ahah - I know there are a lot of forum rps out there, and it’s been a few years since I’ve used the forums on fanfiction net so idk if those are even still active ahah

tumblr rp has changed a lot - before, all you had to do was set up a blog (side or main - I prefer main bc it’s easier to follow other rp blogs and get recognized), and either rp as a canon character or an oc! ofc they don’t need to be a fandom oc, they can just be an og one!

but for tumblr rp, you def gotta think of a solid character bg if an oc (fandom or not) bc it’s easier for everyone when other muns can look and see who your character is. I def recommend setting up a rule page, so that way you can explain what stuff you want to avoid (for me was nsfw stuff mostly), or stuff you’re fine with (a lot of people would mention age ranges they were comfortable with when it came to other muns - like there were a few rp blogs that would only interact with people 18+ or 21+, which was a good thing tbh)

it’s def been a hot minute since I’ve rped on here, but when you make an oc to rp, this is where it gets hella important to make sure you can connect with them - I ended up ditching a lot of blogs bc I lost muse, and it’s a bummer tbh, but it does happen. also idk if rping is still active here or not? bc last I check the marvel rp tag it was just. ads for group rps and idk if they’re tumblr based anymore

anyway, tumblr rping is def gonna be harder! just bc it’s hard to get off the ground at the beginning, and it’s just… idk, weird? some people won’t respond to you and things get lost and it can become a mess, but at the same time, it can be a lot of fun! it just really depends on how you handle stuff and how active you are really

I’m def just spit-balling at this point, ahah - sorry about that! I’m trying to explain stuff but, again, I’m horrible at that dfjhfdhj

I’ll definitely try to clear stuff up for you tho!! just lmk with whatever questions you have o:

also here’s an rp example of mine!! tho, I did change some stuff to keep clan specific secrets still secret for a certain rp!

The pale queen had arrived shortly after Aspenstar and Jaggedstripe settled Badgerwing’s body down in the flowers. She would’ve been with them, matching their steps stride by stride, but she had to check on her kits before she left. She had seen how frightened they were with the thunder alone, and she couldn’t imagine the confusion the little ones must’ve felt when their Clanmates began to panic at the death before Aspenstar soothed them. They were far too young to understand death, and she could only pray that it wouldn’t affect them. And despite how collected she had seemed back in camp, it was clear the deputy’s death had was not taken lightly - her steps were slow, her eyes misted with grief.

A shaky breath escaped her jaws as Mistfang slowed to a stop beside her gathered Clanmates, the air thick with grief and tension. Finchpaw spoke, then Grasspelt. Jaggedstripe stepped toward Badgerwing next, but it was clear she was in too much pain to speak. But… as she gazed around at the others, her throat tightened with grief. Was no one else going to speak? Bluestone remained silent. Hootnose was silent as well, his gaze averted, and it was clear he wished to be anywhere but there. She just hoped their silence wasn’t from hostility - from them still holding a grudge for her leaving them for so long.

With a shake of her head, the molly slowly stepped forward, leaning down to rasp her tongue over Badgerwing’s head. “You were larger than life,” she said at last, her voice soft as ever. “You helped us each in your own way, and I feel my words can never be enough to explain my gratitude. You saved my life, and helped me with my kits. I can’t thank you enough for everything you have done. I hope you find comfort in StarClan, and I wish you all the best.”

It was shorter than she would’ve liked, but Mistfang hadn’t been close to Badgerwing - not as much as she would’ve liked. But regrets were useless, and she knew the dangers of getting lost in the what-ifs. As long as the deputy was safe in StarClan, free of any pain and of any troubles, then she knew it would be okay. It had to be.

Slowly, Mistfang took a few steps back, head bowed as she sat down.

#asks #Midge speaks #long post #fdhfsdh sorry if i rambled too much!!#i'm a babbler #anonymous

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junker-town · 6 years

Text

Trash Or Nawl: The 10 trash albums of the year

Welcome to Trash Or Nawl, a weekly column to help you weed through the Internet Muck. To do that, I’ll be breaking it down to a helpful binary: Is something trash? Or nawl? Topics here will involve sports and whatever else the hell I say is sports or sports adjacent. I’ll do my best to make sense of what's going on each week, but the thing to remember is no matter what I say, most of these things are still trash.

You might say this is simplistic, and hell yeah it is. This is how I make sense of the chaos. Professional grade hating restores power to my powerless stupid fan hands. I give a middle finger because I've given up clapping.

Trash or Nawl criteria: We will pick a topic. We will breakdown why or why it isn't trash. You can agree, you can comment or tweet your disagreements. Or we can fight. Really, it's up to you.

Good morning, hopefully y’all are hungover too. Today on a special edition of Trash Or Nawl, I’m finna discuss why y’all decided to make and praise these garbage ass albums. A lot of the blogs kept saying these tapes were fire, so we found out. Please enjoy this rare moment of where I put my Diddy hat and matching fur on.

“The inability to tell the difference between good pop and trash pop is the sign of a music philistine.” — My editor, Nate Scott.

With that in mind, I’m bout to fry tf outta all of the music Nate likes. [Editor’s Note: I don’t even like two-thirds of these albums and I’m not sure why I’m allowing this article to run, but whatever. Happy Holidays everyone.]

Lorde — Melodrama

I’m so muhfuckin tired of you internet people tellin me that Lorde, who basically only makes music that belongs on FIFA video game soundtracks, is making good music. This is some bullshit. Last night, I thought I was bangin out some whiskeys and was ready to party and tried out this wannabe Avatar background music. Woke up in a daze, night ruined.

And don’t you give me that “you a hating ass asshole I love Lorde” bullshit. I was gettin busy when “Royals” came out just like you were. And then whatever the hell “Green Light” is came on and ruined it. Lorde gon’ stop whisper singin’ on these tracks.

[Editor’s Note: This is one of the albums on this list that is objectively Good, and you need to understand that Tyler is just doing this to get a rise out of me and you.]

Also idk who told Lorde that this pop art album cover was litty, because this some diet Pablo Picasso ass shit. Ain’t fuckin wit it.

Haim — Something To Tell You

What the actual fuck is this? Most of these artists also just sound the same: like some weird version of whatever ‘80s movies made for white people were. Like, this easily coulda been the opening music for Pretty Woman. “Want You Back” doesn’t even make sense to me. Do you have a fear of forgiveness? Are you too proud? Are you blaming yourself?

We gotta stop telling our kids in grade school they can do anything they set their minds to because then we get shit like this. Seriously tho. I’m tired of the re-incarnation of Hall & Oates making pop music. I listened to “Founded It in Silence” five times by accident before I realized it was playing and not just my heater making noise.

Feist — Pleasure

Before “Pleasure” finally came on, I thought I got an album that didn’t have any music on it. Then when the song started and I spent the next minute not knowing what was actually said. The guitar was dope tho. Can’t hate on that. That fuckin guitar was dope as hell. But if I actually hear the word “pleasure” anymore in the way I have on this album that makes me think I’m in a Brooklyn dive bar with some round glasses ass hipsters wit they stupid turtle faces, I’m finna fight someone.

This album makes me feel like I’ve taken a lot of acid. I’ve never even had acid. Someone send me acid so I can know how I’m supposed to feel for listening to this album. [Editor’s Note: Please do not do this.] But, still. Can’t lie. This guitar is real real dope. Especially on “I Wish I Didn’t Miss You” but that ain’t gonna cut it, fam.

Charly Bliss — Guppy

I can fucks with a lil bit of some good rock music. But this fake ass Paramount [Editor’s Note: I think he meant Paramore but it’s a lot funnier as Paramount so I’m leaving it] sounding ass band wasn’t poppin. The drums was litty tho. New Indie Rock loves to do this thing where it remakes music that was born in the 80s but also the 90s now too. I felt like this coulda been played in Bring It On when Kirsten Dunst was hype because some bro made her a mixtape with his I’m Really Doing Something In Life struggle stubble. Also: Go Clovers.

youtube

Guppy wasn’t as bad as Lorde and Haim and Feist, but I just felt like someone was crying to me for 30 minutes. It also isn’t Future, Kendrick, SZA, John Legend, Migos, Badu or anything resembling it. Shit. This ain’t eem Plain White T’s “Hey There Delilah” level litty. [Editor’s Note: (Long, sustained sigh)] This ain’t making me pick up a guitar. Yeen head noddin to this. I can’t keep lettin y’all whine on a track and say you waxin poetic. I fuckin refuse. Empire wouldn’t even play this on they show.

Jason Isbell — The Nashville Sound

This is purely here because in a world where we’ve decided we ain’t fuckin with blatant white supremacy and nationalism (lol, this won’t last), I am triggered by a song titled “The Last Of My Kind.” Also, Isbell getting mad because folks laughed at him in college as a justification for this song is highkey highkey highkey the same reason people comment on Breitbart.

Photo by Rick Diamond/Getty Images for Country Music Hall Of Fame & Museum

He also made a song called “White Man’s World,” which, lol, y’all never really need to keep asking why folks don’t listen to country if this what y’all keep giving us. #WokeSZN #Resist #DumpTrump

[Editor’s Note: All the sportswriters of the world who are obsessed with this dude, please know that I had nothing to do with this section. Jason Isbell is great. Jason Isbell is the best. The Beatles? Beethoven? Fuck em. There is no one better than Jason Isbell, except maybe Bruce Springsteen, who I think you all also love for whatever reason. Please, for the love of god, don’t yell at me on Twitter.]

Margo Price — All American Made

A lot of you On The Internet Money Makin Whites love Margo Price. So because of that (and because OG Willie Nelson was making an appearance) I turned this on expecting non-pretentious and pompous ass country bangers I am accustomed to. Y’all told me this. Y’all told me she was the shit.

Welp.

Somebody call Deputy Raylan Givens and whip up that good wild west bullshit because Margo sound like the soundtrack to Justified. Margo dropped some bars that say “a little pain never hurt anyone” which is a whole lie because I promise you I was reeling from this weak shit.

OG Willie was dope tho. Don’t worry about that.

Taylor Swift — Reputation

Y’all knew this was gone be here.

First of all: IF CARDI B WASHED YO MIDDLE OF PENNSYLVANIA ASS ON THE CHARTS THEN YOU SHOULDA KNOWN WE FINNA GET THAT ASS UP OUTTA HERE BOI.

**re-adjusts collar**

I’m sad Future had to be dragged onto this album, but I know he owe Rocko a few Brinks trucks so I understand. I don’t know what Taylor keeps doing with these albums, tho. She’s always gonna get a few body rolls from me just because Future was featured here on some childish ass beats. But, y’all can’t expect me to think it’s pawpin for Tay Tay in the year of our lord 2017.

Photo by Dia Dipasupil/Getty Images

The New York Times, however, wants you to know this was super hot fire. Smh.

Katy Perry — Witness

Listen dog. I used to get it EXTREMELY LIT at high school mixers to some Katy Perry. Ain’t nobody gonna ever tell me Katy Perry wasn’t the white T-Pain at one point in my life. Left Shark is the hero this world needed at a time we didn’t know it. But the song “Swish Swish” which includes a line saying “Swish Swish Bish” featuring Nicki Minaj is one of the worst things created in a year full of some of the worst things ever.

The thing I didn’t expect: Nicki Minaj was actually the second-best thing about as much of this album as I was able to tolerate. Quavo yelling “KATY PERRY,” harmonizing with her in autotune, rapping many random “ayes,” yelling his own name, and randomly saying “Bon Appetit” on “Bon Appetit” is the best thing. [Editor’s Note: This is actually correct.] I need you to notice, the good things here have nothing to do with the person who made the music. If Space Jam and an elevator had a child and it grew to become a singer, it would make this album.

Macklemore — Gemini

Skylar Grey SANG her ass owf on this tape for “Glorious.” But Macklemore following up her vocals with “I’m feelin glorious, the crib lookin Victorian, you know we been goin in, since we hopped out that Dolorean, I’m gone, things are just things, they don’t make you who you are, can’t pack up a UHaul and take it wit you when you gone, we posted on the porch my family glasses to the stars, my grandma smiling down on me like OUU THAT BOY GOT BARS” is the most sickening thing I’ve ever had to take part in.

I don’t know if I’m more mad that another Macklemore album came out or the people who keep letting Macklemore let another Macklemore album come out. The sad part is: Macklemore actually gets some really fire ass beats. But we keep getting some fake ass Eminem verses because nobody gonna tell Macklemore either 1) he can’t rap that well or 2) he can’t rap that well about happy go lucky shit all the time.

Photo by Andreas Rentz/Getty Images

Mack also steps on Kesha’s angelic vocals on “Good Old Days,” Yachty’s assumed piano playing in “Marmalade,” and Offset’s ad-libs on “Willy Wonka,” which is just unconscionable. Also every single song on this tape except “Ten Million” had a feature. He reverse J. Cole’d himself. What world are we living in.

DJ Khaled & Friends — Grateful

I’m mad at Khaled for several reasons:

I followed him on Snapchat in anticipation to this album

His bit is lowkey tiresome at this point

Asahd is the most handsome baby in the world, which brings envy from my being

The album has 23 songs and is an hour-and-a-half long

The album was no where near any other Khaled bangers out

Khaled hyped this shit up for no good damn reason

That being said, this Khaled tape is probably the best worst tape of the year. “Shining” with Beyonce and her lil’friend is a fun song, and Qween has never made bad music. You’re welcome, Shea Moisture Twitter. “Wild Thoughts” still got me thinking about Havana fwiw even tho Bryson Tiller is the corniest dude alive next to Big Sean. “I’m The One” had me trine buy Bieber Merch and loudly singing said song at many functions. “I Love You So Much” was some cute Disney shit. “On Everything” had me jumpin on people’s couches.

But literally the other 80 percent of the tape is hot ass garbage. Which is super disappointing because a dude with the most Jordans in the world, prettiest baby alive, 18 mansions, superstar friends, and a call log that would envy the Lord hisself should be able to do marginally better than this.

Most times I think Khaled’s music is only good as an audio soporific. Sometimes that’s okay. Not this time. I’ve been deceived. To make up for this: Khaled plz send me some sneakers, Bellaire Rose and Jordan sweatsuits and all will be forgotten. [Editor’s Note: Khaled, don’t do thi... Actually, you know what? Khaled, do this. And throw in a sweatsuit for me.]

We’re good, Khaled. Because at the end of the day: You still better than Lorde.

If you disagree with these verdicts, comment below. As stated earlier, you can agree, comment, tweet through your frustration or fight. Really, it’s up to you.

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