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#only to realize it's not bc it is just Very obvious the that creators did not have someone like me in mind when they were creating it
mechawolfie · 1 year
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finding a neat looking sdv expansion mod only to see the new npcs it adds r just more white ppl
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morgandoesstuffsig · 11 months
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Idk if ur requests are open, but hear me out XD. A creator!reader who descends on Teyvat meets all the Archons and such. Then up and leaves by changing their appearance in order to explore their creation and how it has changed. Every once in a while Creator will make themselves obvious by performing acts only the Creator could. Once they are found out they just up and leave again only to resurface after another Divine act. TLDR: Creator playing cat and mouse with Teyvat
oh my GOD creator is just TORTURING then atp
small ramble because i still have massive writers block [cries] also ignore how late this is pls ok mwamwa thnx
c.w // yan. chars
song : Best Friend - Rex Orange County
SAGAU INCOMING : YAN CHARS.
okay so you decided 'hey man, what if i wasn't worshipped the moment i stepped outside'
so you just said fuck it and shifted
(it's been a while since you've done so, it kind of felt weird and hurt a tiny bit)
walking around teyvat in an odd, different form. completely different hair, height, clothes, you get the gist
the only things you couldnt change however were three things:
your blood (still gold, but you didn't plan on bleeding infront of anyone)
your aura (still comforting, caring, and even alluring)
your voice (why? zero clue.)
escaping the throne room you've oh so sadly been bound to!! having fun while doing it!!
(the only real reason you managed to escape is bc you managed to get the archons out and actually tend to their nations, as per your request order)
messing around while escaping fr!! people passing by wondering why this random person they've never seen is (not very) sneakily running away from the creator's palace/temple
but eventually shrugging it off, albeit reluctantly
messing around in mondstat, playing with the npc children more than you could usually, giving them the time of their life!!
this is where you use your first creator powers >:3
some poor kid scraped his knee real hard on the bridge, let's say timmie (hes so sweet he just wants to defend his birds pls b nice to him!!)
you, being the belovent god you are, use your divine powers to heal him
whether you do it with the hc of having to use your own gold blood or just having special healing powers only creator has, you do it
however, your dumbass mind hadn't thought of the fact that Venti may have been watching this
new outlander person with a mysterious aura
and now he quickly learns its you :0!!
the archons had no clue you could shapeshift!! why wasnt this in the ancient scrolls??? did they just lose the ones that mentioned it???
venti immediately finds some weird wind way to tell the other archons
fucking loud mouth
speaking of which, ei is freaking. out.
she came back to just check on you in your throne room and youre just.
not there??
panics, almost goes to zhongli before she gets venti's message and calms down slightly
atp you've realize you've outed yourself
so after making sure timmie is find you quickly run off into the forest before venti can come after you and smother you (both physically and with questions)
forest reached, new mission : new form needed
this basically keeps happening, and it's a needed breath of fresh air for you
running to liyue looking like a normal person until you magically form a special medicine that was unheard of from your hand for an elder, sickly lady
running from liyue to sumeru and shifting into!! an animal!! a fox!! cat!! tiger!! dog!! bird!! any of the sort!!
only getting outed from sumeru after you accidentally spoke while in animal form and having to go over to inazuma as an unknown, traveling sailor!!
getting outed after that for your extremely familiar aura and voice (inazuma people are scarily observant towards strangers) and eventually getting shoved escorted back to your palace/temple
funny stories to tell
however, the archons wont be leaving your room for quite a while..
oh well, who says you don't have other stunts to pull?
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jungshookz · 3 years
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EEEK cee imagine grumpy!yn and jimin where jimin falls asleep on the floor in their lil hangout spot bc he stayed up the night before and yn jus secretly admiring jimin’s adorable sleeping face while caressing his hair THEN jimin wakes up when yn leaned in for a kiss on his forehead :3:3:3
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➺ pairing; sunshiney!jimin x grumpy!y/n
➺ genre; of course this is fluff!!! fluffier than the clouds that jimin makes y/n look at and tell him what animal she thinks it looks closest to :D (he thinks it looks like a bunny and she thinks it looks like a.,,. idk man that’s literally just a lump) 
➺ wordcount; 1.3k 
➺ p.s. you’ll be able to find this in the teeny tidbits masterlist later on :’) 
(unfortunately i wasn’t able to track down the original maker of this gif but this is where i sourced it from! all credits go to the original creator of course :-))
                                     »»————- ☁️ ————-««
“oh my god, do you hear that?” yoongi gasps, placing a hand on your shoulder before holding a finger up in the air, “that’s incredible.”
?
“what are you talking about?” you frown, looking around as well before shrugging his hand off your shoulder, “i don’t hear anything.”
you and namjoon exchange confused glances and he offers you his own shrug before looking over at yoongi for further explanation
“exactly. it’s nothing. it’s… silence.” yoongi whispers, “i haven’t heard it in so long because jimin’s always destroying it with his motormouth-”
oh
okAy
now you see what he’s going on about
“hey, cut it out-” you roll your eyes before shifting your shoulder slightly so that jimin’s head isn’t at a weird angle and that he won’t wake up with a weird kink in his neck, “he was up all night working on a paper and he’s tired.” you murmur, reaching over and pulling your cardigan up so that it covers his chest a little more
“you know, you were way more fun before you started dating jimin.” yoongi scoffs, pursing his lips in disappointment as he leans back against his palms, “when two people are making fun of someone, it’s all fun and games, but when it’s just me doing it alone, i look like an asshole-”
“oh, cry me a river.”
“see?? why can’t you be like that when you’re talking about jimin?? i miss the old y/n.” 
you move to shove yoongi down to the ground but you stop yourself when you realize that you could accidentally wake jimin up prematurely 
poor jimin was up until six this morning working on a dumb twenty-page report for one of his courses - he read his schedule wrong and it turns out that the report was due this tuesday and not next tuesday, and to be honest, he’s really not sure how he even made that mix-up in the first place because he’s usually always on top of things (you were on top of him when he was typing all of this into his phone so that might’ve had something to do with it)
and he normally gets up around seven-ish on a regular basis which means he literally only got an hour of sleep before he had to get up and get ready for the day
you already knew that he had pulled an all-nighter (you even offered to stay up with him and make him coffee if he needed it but you ended up falling asleep around twenty minutes after you’d made your bold offer) so you weren’t too surprised when you looked over halfway through lunch to see that he’d fallen asleep leaning back against the tree with his mouth wide open
yoongi nearly persuaded you into dropping a chunk of dirt into his open mouth but luckily you decided against doing that
and it didn’t look like he was very comfortable which was why you scooted yourself closer to him and gently pushed his head down so that he could rest on your shoulder
but that was an hour and a bit ago and jimin’s still fast asleep
and you’re pretty sure there’s dried drool on your arm but that’s okay
“-you know, it’s like i don’t even know who you are anymore.” yoongi tuts, shaking his head at you, “one minute, you’re happy to roll your eyes and insult jimin to his face, and the next, you’re cozying up to him like his girlfriend and straight-up fawning over him-”
“i- i am his girlfriend, you dolt-”
“i know, but like- well, you know what i mean.” yoongi flicks his wrist to dismiss you before turning his nose up towards the sky, “you get it.”
“i can honestly say i truly don’t, yoongi.”
yes, it’s fairly evident to see that you’ve changed quite a bit since getting together with jimin, but you like to think that you changed for the better!
you don’t wake up with a scowl on your face every morning which is definitely a good sign, right?
and now instead of staying silent during lunch and looking like you want nothing more than to watch the world burn, you actually contribute to conversations with everyone else and genuinely enjoy talking to them as long as jimin’s right there next to you 
of course, you have to admit that you still have a slight issue with PDA (which is why you’ve been moving your shoulder and trying to get jimin to wake up without making it seem like you’re purposely trying to wake him up) but that’s a conversation for another time
the point is, things are good with jimin
things are really, really good with jimin.  
you crane your neck to look back down at your boyfriend again, reaching over to brush some of his hair away from his eyes
his nose twitches slightly and he mutters something under his breath before turning his body towards you and snuggling into your warmth, wrapping his arms around your elbow and squishing his cheek against your shoulder
“cute.” you hum, reminding yourself to suppress your grin of delight so that no one teases you about how squealy you’re being right now 
you find yourself leaning down a little so you can give jimin a kiss on the forehead, your lips lingering against his warm forehead for a second before you pull away and look back to make sure that no one just saw you do that (god forbid anyone see you show even an inkling of affection for your boyfriend!) 
luckily it seems like the late afternoon sun beaming down on you guys is making everyone feel a little lethargic so no one was paying attention to y-
“did you just kiss my forehead?”
you freeze immediately when you hear jimin suddenly speak up and you clear your throat obnoxiously before raising your shoulder so that he gets his head off of it, “what? no. i think you were probably dreaming or something because forehead kissing is-” you chuckle lightly, pulling your legs up slightly and dusting some dirt off your calves, “it’s not something that i… i don’t do things like that, so- no. no, i didn’t kiss any foreheads.”
your eyes widen in surprise when jimin suddenly lies down and flops his head down on your lap, grinning up at you with twinkling eyes as he reaches up to poke the tip of your nose, “you soOoooOo have a crush on me.”
side note: it’s truly baffling to you that jimin never wakes up groggy
he’s always ready to go as soon as his eyes open and it doesn’t make any sense whatsoever
it’s almost like he has an on and an off switch somewhere and if that’s the case you would very much like to find his off switch so you can shut him up before someone else decides to chime in to the conversation 
“we’re- we’re dating, jimin-” you scowl, flicking his hand away from your face before clearing your throat again, “...obviously i have a friggin’ crush on you if we’re in a goddamn relationship-”
“what are you grumbling about over there now, y/n?” namjoon interrupts you from across the circle, glancing up at you and jimin for a split second from behind his screen, “i’m trying to get some work done and i can’t focus with all the secret muttering-”
“y/n has a crush on me.” jimin teases, crossing his arms over his chest before closing his eyes again, “a super FAT crush on me.”
he cracks an eye open just to see your reaction and he’s pleasantly surprised to see that your entire face is basically beet-red from this fun little game he’s playing
what do you have to be so embarrassed about??
you already said yourself that the two of you are dating so it’s an obvious fact that you have feelings for him
he just likes to remind everyone that you, a typically emotionless, cold-hearted robot, have feelings for him!
“oh, we know!” namjoon plays along with a grin, loving that you look like you want nothing more than to curl into a ball and just scream, “you think we didn’t see that forehead kiss?”
“park jimin, you sick... twisted man.” yoongi purses his lips as he shakes his head slowly, “look what you’ve done to her! you’ve ruined her!!” 
🎙️help me help you make your wishes come true (send me a request!)
✨why don’t you explore the rest of the library while you’re here?
💫or perhaps you want something shorter to read?
🌟or something even shorter?
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Fred Weasley x Reader
 Prompt: The three times Fred knew he fell for you, and the one time he told you he loves you.
A/N: I absolutely love this prompt, I’ve seen it a couple times before but if your the creator of it please let me know so I can give you credit. Also credits to the owner of this gif!
Warnings: My longest fic ever, So many commas, Fluff, maybe angst but not really, Fred being cute, you being cute, both you and Fred being oblivious to your feelings, swearing bc its me, I think that’s it
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It all started sixth year. Fred was sitting across the room from you in potions, one of the only classes you had together. You knew each other pretty well, being in the same house and year as each other, but you didn’t really get to know each other until year five, when a certain incident brought you together.
You were working on a potion, trying to read the directions as you simultaneously poured in your ingredients, before looking up and seeing you were accidentally putting in dragons horn instead of dragon claw. You started flipping through you book frantically, causing Snape to walk over.
“Something the matter Y/L/N” He said in his monotone voice, but before you could answer, your potion exploded, causing thick purple slime to cover the both of you.
The class went completely silent, not daring to speak, except for Fred, who after a few seconds was kneeled over laughing.
“Ten points from Gryffindor, and both Y/N Y/L/N and Fred Weasley will be spending the rest of the day in detention” Snape said, dismissing the class before excusing himself to exit to his office, leaving Fred to look at your purple covered self, only to be surprised when you let out a chuckle.
“He’s a lot less scary when he’s purple” You said to Fred, which caused both of you to fall into a new wave of laughter, before you pulled out your wand and muttered a quick cleaning spell.
Fred watched noticing you had missed a spot in your hair, making Fred cross the room over to you and reach to remove the last bits of goo out of your hair, which was surprisingly soft.
You laughed before thanking him and going to collect your things so you could go do whatever tasks Snape had in store for you. Fred watched as you moved your hair behind your ear, and couldn't help but notice how his heart rate picked up.
The next time Fred knew he had fallen for you was much more obvious. You and Fred had become good friends since the potions incident, and he had even let you help with some of his and Georges pranks every once in a while. You three were beginning to get along very nicely.
One night though, Fred and George were up late working on a new type of fire work in the common room, which involved using just the right amount of possibly explosive materials.
This obviously ended badly, sending fireworks flying around the room and causing quite a bit of noise. You probably wouldn’t have noticed if you were asleep, a good bit of soundproofing between the common room and your dorm room, but because you were already awake, having had trouble falling asleep, you heard the sound and assumed the worst, running out of the dorm and down the stairs.
“What's going on?!” You said once you reached the common room, eyes landing on the two boys who were ducked behind one of the couches, and covered in a bit of ash.
“New project” George said smiling looking over to Fred, expecting to join in on his explanation, but Fred was just staring at you. You had run down in a rush and didn’t bother to get changed, so you were still in a tank top and short shorts, causing Fred's brain to pretty much short circuit.
He had always found you attractive, but he had never really seen you in anything accept your robes for classes, so suddenly seeing so much skin was certainly a change.
You didn’t notice Fred's staring, but George certainly did, coming to his brothers rescue and elbowing him, snapping him out of his trance.
“Huh? Oh yes, fireworks, got a bit carried away” Fred said, trying to recover from the seemingly obvious ogling.
“Working with dangerous explosive without me” You said, putting a hand to your chest and putting on a fake sad face “and here I thought we were friends”
“We were planning on inviting you but-” Fred said, suddenly flustered over that he may have hurt your feelings.
“I’m kidding Fred, sheesh what's gotten into you?” You said smiling and shaking your head. “Maybe all that gun power has finally gotten to your head”
“Yeah probably” Fred said, trying to laugh it off.
“Well, I’m off to bed, try to keep it down” You said, before saying goodnight and heading to your room.
“That was painful to watch” George joked, causing Fred to look at him
“How do you mean?” Fred asked
“You’ve got it baaaaad” George said, causing Freds face to heat up before he wacked his younger brother on the shoulder.
“Shut up” Fred said, causing a laugh to erupt from George
After that night George was doing everything in his power to get the two of you together. Leaving the room whenever it was just you three, tripping you so you would fall into Fred, on top of many other things. Sure George thought you two would make a good couple, but to see the flustered look on his brothers face whenever you were near him was enough to keep it going, despite you being completely oblivious to him liking you.
The weekend had finally rolled around, and you and a few friends, including Fred and George, were headed to Hogsmeade to do some shopping and just to have a few hours away from the school grounds.
You were walking with Fred and George, doing some window shopping just as it started to snow.
“Ah shit” You said, looking at the falling particles. You loved the holiday season, but you did not handle cold well. You were already wearing two sweaters and could already feel yourself starting to get cold.
“What's the matter Y/N?” Fred asked, looking down to see you wrapping your arms around yourself.
“Its nothing” you said, trying to seem like it wasn’t a big deal, but it didn’t take a genius to figure out you were cold.
“Speaking of nothing, I need to go get some supplies for some new prototypes, so I’ll leave you to it” George said, quickly parting from the group, but not before sending Fred a quick wink, noticing how George was holding his wand.
“That little” Fred muttered to himself, finally figuring out that George started the snow in the first place.
“What was that?” You said, looking up at Fred, a slight red tint starting to dust over your cheeks as the air got colder. Fred couldn’t help but look a few seconds longer than he should have, thinking about how cute you looked.
“Oh nothing” Fred excused, continuing to walk next you you past the shops. 
After a few more seconds, he noticed your arms wrapping more tightly around yourself, slightly shivering as a particular gust of wind shocked your body with cold. Without thinking, Fred put his arm around you, pulling you closer to him.
You started warming up, his body heat surrounding you almost instantly. You could feel the muscles of his arm underneath the fabric of his sweater as he pulled you even closer to him, causing your face to suddenly heat up. Quidditch practice really had its rewards.
“Is this ok?” Fred asked, noticing your changed expression. you nodded
“Yeah, its actually really nice” you said, wrapping your arm around him as well and leaning your head on his shoulder a bit.
You spent the rest of the day like that, snow falling around the two of you, arms around each other, feeling butterflies swarming your stomach. You had always found the older Weasley twin attractive, but you hadn’t really thought of him romantically until now, and you didn’t completely hate it.
“Warmer yet?” Fred asked, causing you to snap out of your haze.
“Much, thank you” You said, looking at Fred to see a mischievous look on his face. 
“Good” He said, before suddenly plopping a snowball on your head. where had he gotten that?!
“Oh... so this is how its going to be” You said, kneeling down to form your own snowball, picking it up and looking at Fred.
“Now Y/N, lets not get to hasty” He started, before he was dodging a snowball aimed right at his face.
“Get ready to pay Weasley!” you yelled, chasing him, throwing snow balls at each other, laughing the whole time before you suddenly fell flat on your back.
“I cant, I surrender” you said through laughs, trying to catch your breath
“So what you’re saying is that I’m the best snow ball player in the world” Fred said, making you roll your eyes.
“Shut up and help me” You said, holding out your hand for Fred to help you up, but as soon as he grabbed it you pulled him down, causing him to land next to you, causing you both to fall into a fi of laughter.
“That was so evil” Fred said from beside you, after you had both finally composed yourselves.
“Nah you love me” You said, causing Fred to tense a bit beside you at the sudden realization that, he actually might. Before he could say anything tough, you had slapped another snowball to his chest, getting up and running in the opposite direction.
“Race you back!” You said, causing Fred to laugh, before standing and chasing after you, all the while thinking about what the hell he was supposed to do.
The next year you were closer than ever. You had visited each other dozens of times over the summer, and just as you were headed back to school and getting used to the old routine, it was time for the Tri-Wizard tournament. You watched as Fred and George attempted the aging potion, laughing as they both flew back as old men, but also visiting them when they had to go to the hospital wing.
You were in class with Fred, potions once again but this time you two were lab partners. You sat at your desk, talking with Fred about something random when Snape walked in, telling us to open our textbooks and prepare for the lesson.
As you were reading you suddenly felt a piece of paper fall by your hand. You looked at it and then over to Fred, who was already looking at you, nodding to make you open it. you reached for it but before you could open it, the note was snatched out of your hand by Snape.
“No, note passing in class” He said before throwing the note in a trash in the corner.
You looked back at Fred, who glared at Snape as he walked away before bringing his attention back to you. He put his book down and looked to make sure Snape wasn’t looking.
“Do you... want to go to the ball... with me” He mouthed, creating pretending to dance before pointing to himself.
You instantly felt your face heat up. Over the summer your feelings towards Fred had certainly grown, but you didn’t think he would feel the same way about you. You quickly snapped out of your trance though, smiling at Fred and nodding.
“What am I going to do?!” You shouted as you landed face first into your pillow, Angelina and Katie looking at you, rolling their eyes at your dramatics.
“Go to the ball with him you dim whit” Katie said, causing you to glare at her.
“He probably only asked me as a friend anyway” you muttered.
Both Angelina and Katie knew about your crush on Fred. They both also knew Fred had a crush on you, Angelina finding out from George, who was a whole other love story waiting to happen.
“Or... maybe he asked you out because he likes you” Angelina countered.
“I don’t know, I’m just freaking out” You said, sitting up to look at the two girls.
“I have a perfect solution” Katie said, causing both you and Angelina to look at her.
“Y/N, you have a crush on Fred, Angelina, you have a crush on George-”
“I do not-!” Angelina started, before Katie cut her off.
“You do too, now shut it and listen” Katie said. She was pretty close to George and Fred, being on the same quidditch team and all and knew for certain that the twins liked the both of you.
“Angelina, you’re going to go to the ball with George, Y/N with Fred, now if at any point they don't seem interested, you can just ditch and hang out with each other the rest of the ball.” She said, matter of factly.
“That's a stupid plan” You said, earning a pillow to the head.
“It is not! And you wont even need it because they like you you idiots!” Katie said throwing her arms in the air. Literally everyone could see that You and Fred liked each other, except for you two.
“Were doomed” You said, causing both you and Angelina to fall backward onto your beds, Katie rolling her eyes.
Two days later, you were sitting in front of your mirror getting ready for the ball. You had chosen a beautiful blue and silver halter top dress. It hugged your body until it reached your waist when it fanned out a bit. You matched it with some silver shoes that you found comfortable, and had Angelina help you with your hair.
“You look amazing, he’d be stupid not to see that” She said, finishing your hair.
“Says you, you look like a goddess!” you said, looking at her purple dress.
“We all look great now lets go” Katie said impatiently. She had gotten a date from Durmstrang and was excited to say the least. You all shared a laugh before heading out to the ball.
Fred was a nervous wreck waiting at the bottom of the stairs. He was trying not to show it, trying to mask his nerves with his usual goofy attitude but George could see through it.
“You’re going to be fine, chill out already” George said, causing Fred to shoot him a look.
“I’m completely chill! I’m the most chill person in the world, I’m-” Fred’s rambling was cut off when he saw George suddenly looking at the grand staircase behind him. Following his eyes, Fred turned to see Angelina, Katie and you. All he could see was you.
Suddenly all the nerves he had, all the things he practice he was going to say, all the worry, left his head. You were Y/N, you were his best friend, and he couldn’t believe how absolutely head over heels he was for you.
“Good evening sir” You said, doing a little curtsey, causing Fred to smile.
“Madam” He said, doing a deep bow and causing you to laugh. “Shall we” he said, holding out his arm.
“We shall” You said, taking his arm and following him to the ball room.
You spent the whole evening either dancing, or talking when you needed a breather. You would drink punch and people watch, trying to guess what people were saying to each other.
Suddenly the music changed, starting a slow song. You looked at Fred to see he was already looking at you. Wordlessly he held out his hand, causing you to smile while you took it. You walked out to the dance floor and started to sway to the music, suddenly very aware of the feeling of his hand on your waist. 
“You look amazing Y/n” Fred said, leaning down so he could almost whisper it in your ear, causing chills to run down your spine.
“You don’t look to bad yourself” You joked, not wanting to get caught u in the moment and forget that you were only here as friends. Right?
“Can I take you somewhere really fast?” Fred asked. you felt your cheeks heat up at his sincerity but nodded none the less, allowing him to lead you out of the ball room.
He lead you to the outside of the castle. You walked side by side, just taking in the scenery before Fred suddenly stopped, causing you to as well. You had stopped at the bridge, being able to get a full view of the Black lake, the moon reflecting off of it. 
You were too busy looking at the water to notice how Fred was looking at how the moon fell on your face, and made your eyes seem to glow. Or how he felt like he was suddenly seeing you for the first time all over again. Or how badly he wanted to just lean in and-
“Thank you, for asking me to the dance” You said, snapping Fred out of his trance.
“Of course, they ’res nobody id rather go with” He said looking at you, but you refused to meet his eyes.
“I’m sure that's not true. I’m sure there's someone here that you fancy” You said.
Fred looked at you confused. “How do you mean?” He asked.
“George told me that you liked someone... over the summer” You said. Fred mentally face palmed. That idiot! Of course he was talking about you, but Fred guessed George was just trying to get you to confess, which you obviously didn’t.
“Well, yeah... I do like someone” Fred said, an idea coming to mind.
“Oh... well who is she” You said, trying to mask you disappointment.
“Well, she’s in Gryffindor, she’s the absolute funniest person I’ve ever met, she has this smile where you see it and you can’t help but smile yourself, she's able to just walk into class and make the whole room brighter, ya know?” He said, looking down at you, trying to hide the sadness on your face.
“Is it Katie? Because I can talk to her and-” You started
“Oh my god, its you dumbass!” Fred suddenly exclaimed, causing your head to shoot up to meet his eyes.
“Wait, you like me?” You asked, Fred nodding, turning his body and gently grabbing both of your hands, holding them in front of him.
“Yeah, I have since last year” He said. Now it was his turn to not meet your eyes. “I knew I liked you from the moment you turned Snape purple, and ever since I’ve just fallen for every part of you, and I’m sorry I didn’t say it earlier, I was just worried that-”
You cut off his rambling, quickly lifting yourself on your tip toes and quickly pressing your lips to his. The kiss lasted less than a second, and you couldn’t read the expression on his face, causing you to panic a bit.
Meanwhile, Fred was wondering if what happened actually happened, or if he suddenly died and went to heaven, he didn’t see your worried expression though.
“I’m sorry, I-” This time Fred cut you off, moving one hand to cup your face while the other went to rest on your hip. You reacted quickly, closing your eyes and moving to wrap your arms to rest around his neck. 
This kiss lasted much longer, the two of you moving in sync as you finally did what he had wanted to do for almost a whole year. After a while you both finally pulled away for air, smiling at each other like idiots.
“I think I might be in love with you” Fred said, causing you to blush
“I think I might be in love with you too” You said, causing you both to laugh a bit before leaning in to reconnect your lips, but not before-
“Its about bloody time!” George shouted, causing the both of you to jump apart, fearing it might have been a teacher, but as soon as you both saw it was only George and Angelina, Fred started fuming while you just laughed.
“No thanks to you, arsehole!” Fred yelled back, causing George to laugh, before you suddenly realized the situation before you.
“Wait what are you two doing out here?” You asked, causing both George and Angelina to stop laughing, a slight tint forming on their faces.
“Well we were just going to... um...” George started, trying to find the words
“We were going to snog” Angelina said bluntly, causing George to look at her with a look of shock on his face, while you and Fred just laughed.
“Well Its about time yourselves then!” You yelled, giving Angelina a quick thumbs up before they left towards the Gryffindor common room.
“How did that not happen sooner, its so obvious they liked each other” You said, shaking your head in mock disappointment.
“completely oblivious, the both of them, couldn’t be us” Fred joked back, making you giggle before reconnecting his lips to yours.
A/N: I'm still in the denial faze of grief because Fred Weasley is my dream man but he doesn't exist, so please feel free to enjoy my coping mechanism :)
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Chapters: 2/? Fandom: Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics), Red Robin (Comics), Batman - All Media Types Rating: Mature Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Tim Drake/Jason Todd Characters: Tim Drake, Jason Todd, Tamara Fox, Some OC for cuteness Additional Tags: Angst, Fluff and Angst, Sickfic, Tim Drake is Not Robin, Tim Drake is Not Red Robin, Jason Todd is Red Hood, Tim Drake Needs a Hug, Jason Todd Needs A Hug, Crying, so much crying, Love Confessions, Cheesy, God it's so cheesy, Cringe, So sweet so cheesy so angsty that you'll cringe, Tim Drake-centric, some Jason POV tho, A wild X-men appereance, I know they're not the same universe but I'm running out of character and running out of creativity, So yeah X-men characters and vaugly their mansion/orphanage too, Bruce Wayne Bashing, Some things that I don't put down bcs it'll be a spoiler, Smoking, Implied/Referenced Sex, POV from a cat????, The Clichést Cliché that ever Cliché, Cliche Summary:
They meet again on a rooftop after ten years. They're different now, and things are not the same. It's all too late. Chapter 1 sneakpeek
“Don’t jump.”
Sighing exasperatedly, Tim puts down his cigarette-clutching fingers and drags his eyes to the source of the voice. His gelled-back hair loses its hold and a strand of ear-length bangs falls to his vision.
Sadly, without seeing him and just from the voice, Tim knows exactly who this person is. One of the Bat franchise, and it just had to be the Red Hood variation, fucking great. Out of all time, it has to be tonight. The world is playing a joke on him.
Tim is sitting hunched on the rooftop’s edge, wishing he’d have some peace and quiet for once, and of course one of these pestering bats just has to bug him at the worst time. Yet, it’s actually pretty rare for Red Hood to patrol Gotham lately, and Tim curses up a storm in his mind. Out of all the days, it just has to be fucking tonight.
No, Tim is not having it.
“This man has too much to do tomorrow to jump.” Tim looks away, getting a light from his suit.
One hand lighting another one of his death stick, and the other unbuttoning his suit and loosens his tie. After a puff and two, Tim drags in and keeps the smoke in, letting his nerves uncoil. Seems like it doesn’t work that well when the big bad shadow of a vigilante doesn’t move from the corner of his eyes.
“I’m not jumping, go away, I can’t deal with you tonight,” Tim says as he sighs the smoke away to the red polluted sky, thinking the man must be deaf or just not convinced. Maybe the latter, the bats are famous for their tact after all. People say they’re purely human. Seeing Red hood’s physique, maybe this one becomes meta-human at some point.
Tim looks the other way so the vigilante is completely out of his vision, to make a point that he’s not having this conversation. He looks to the city, engulfed by the red sky. It’s bright since this building is at the heart of the city, where the higher caste of Gothamites live and prosper. You can see the border around the bright side of the city where the lights stop dead and darkness begins. The poor side of the city. The gap is ghastly, it’s what makes Gotham what it is.
Tim is not surprised but highly disappointed when he hears shuffling instead, and when he looks at where the tall brick wall of a man, he already sits down next to him. Red Hood keeps a respectable distance though, at least he has that much of a tact.
Red Hood hooks his fingers inside his helmet, does some finger shimmy, and the red shiny mask helmet is off. His face is still covered by a domino mask, his hair looks damp, and his gloved hands rake his jet black hair back. Curls bounce to his forehead, sighing a fog, the only indication that the weather is reaching the end of the year. In turn, Tim felt his cleanly shaved nape chilled.
From inside the leather jacket, the vigilante digs to look for something, and that’s when Tim realized he’s been looking at the cuts on Red Hood’s exposed forearms from the folded sleeves. Very thick and muscled forearms. This guy either lifts all day or a meta-human, not that Tim cares anymore.
“Got a light?” Red says, plush lips smirking.
Tim sighs, guess he has company today. He digs into his suit and throws him his lighter. The masked man inspects it and Tim rolls his eyes. The lighter is a metal one that you flip, and on it engraved ‘From my heart with love, that this one lasts longer, Tam.’
“A sweetheart of yours?” Says the man, the second sentence he speaks, and Tim doesn’t recognize the voice. Deep, gravely, the typical voice of someone that smokes.
Red Hood extends his hand to give back the lighter to Tim instead of throwing it, must’ve thought it’s special.
“Kind of,” Tim says, receiving the lighter.
Red Hood drags in, keeps the smoke in, “Why kind of?” and sighs.
“Never established the relationship.”
“Commitment issues?”
Tim quirks an eyebrow at the man, sitting just as hunched as him. There’s a pillar beside Tim, and he lays his back there, thinking whether or not he should engage in this conversation. Eh, why not right? It’s not like it’s confidential information, and Tim is just so tired of caring about social politics.
“I was too late,” Tim says. It’s not as painful to say now, but lately, Tim has been numb. He’s been numb for years. Tim’s gay, or so he thought. When he began to really love her, she’s gone from him.
“Girl got another guy?” Red Hood teases.
“Girl got dead,” Tim deadpans. The smile dropped from the vigilante’s mouth, and if only he can see his eyes, panic would look funny on the all-powerful Bat. But, no, Tim can see his tell by the tapping hands.
“Ah fuck, sorry.”
Tim chuckles at the spectacle of an awkward vigilante. Maybe this night won’t be so bad after all.
“Relax, I’m not too sad about it now, it was years ago.”
It’s hard to predict Red’s expression with that domino mask that takes his cheekbones and half his forehead, but Tim’s pretty sure the twist on that mouth means his opinion of Tim isn’t good. Well, not that Tim cares.
“How did she die?”
“Wrong place, wrong time,” Tim put the filter on his lips and drags in as deep as he can. Too deep, and Tim coughs hard, once and twice that his vision blurs. Her face comes to vision, the morbidity of her expression tips Tim’s nerves off balance. Tim quickly takes another deep drag, “She was in the Joker’s way.”
At the name, Red Hood snaps his face at Tim. Slowly, languidly, Tim looks back. The vigilante clenched jaw and balled fists look like he’s about to kill somebody. Tim knows that a few years ago Red Hood kidnapped Joker, didn’t kill him, and just vanished before popping up again to have a vendetta against Batman. What a load of drama those bunch.
This also means that Tim knows exactly who this person is. Suddenly the voice registers, the familiar jaw, the soft fucking tone.
He blames it on the nicotine that his heart is calmer than he’d like, his mind still not on overdrive, still plagued with Tam’s face as she died in front of him. He’d breathe smoke instead of oxygen if he could. God he wished he’d breathe smoke from now on. Why does it have to be today? One grace from the universe is that Tim -for some reason- feels amused instead of dread.
“You look like you’re about to kill somebody, Red,” Tim says, can’t help the ease and sass in his voice. Tim lays back hunched, crosses his legs. “I thought you let go of your vendetta against the Joker.”
“Where do you hear that bullshit?” Redhood snaps and Tim can’t help but let go another chuckle.
“People talk, words get around,” Tim says.
“Then they’re far off the truth,” Red hisses before dragging in his cig.
“Yet the Joker still roams.”
“Ain’t my call.”
“Is it the big bat daddy calls?”
Red Hood splutters at the name and Tim smirks evilly at the reaction. “Ew, don’t call him that!”
“I can call that higher-than-thou furry hero wannabe anything I want,” Tim spits bitterly, looking out to the city. Sometimes when he’s really lucky, he’ll catch one of the bats twirling in the sky, and now one of ‘em is sitting beside him, but sadly it’s not the most shocking knowledge he has today. “One of these days it’s going to be my turn.”
“What?”
“Dying in the collision of mad men’s evil master plan you refuse to get rid of.”
“Ck, I don’t like what you’re insinuating.”
“Sorry then, I don’t mean to insinuate anything. This is me telling you loud and clear that you’re all cowards for not killing these maniacs that kill us like ants when you have the power to stop them.” Tim’s voice is even and chill, it did not raise a tone, but it reduces the bulk of a man beside him to still. “Some of us rooted for you when you caught the Joker, and your reputation gives us high hopes that it’ll be the last of him. Then he showed up again.” Tim feels the lighter in his pocket burn, “Then Tam died.”
Tim pumps his lung full of smokes, keeping it in there so that the clawing gloom will die before it takes roots.
“I almost did kill him, Batman stopped me,” the gravel voice says lowly.
Tim feels himself stiffens, now that’s something he doesn’t know. His eyes scan the hunched vigilante, trying to find any sign of a lie, there’s none.
“Shit,” Tim curses, sighing up smoke and quickly takes a deep drag in. “Fuck Batman.”
For the first time, Tim hears Red chuckle, “Yeah, fuck him.”
“Still your family though, right?” Tim says, earning what he thinks is a glare, who would fucking know with that mask. “Why else would you stay in his line?”
Red Hood looks away, not answering.
“Guess I understand. Proving something to someone.”
Red scoffs, “Would you?”
“You know who I am.”
“Yeah, not your story.”
Tim scoffs at the obvious lie, “Look it up. I have better things to do than telling you my backstory that’s a google search away.”
Tim Drake. Son of the CEOs of Drake Industries. Running smoothly since ever he becomes the COO. Yada yada, young and successful, yada yada, has the reputation to chew out the reporters and a resting bitch face, all that shit. Tim doesn’t have the best bedside manners, but when it comes to business, Tim gets things done, and his business partners know to swallow their pride for a potential too stupid to missed just because Tim has fangs.
“I dunno, you’re pretty mysterious in the eye of the media,” Red says.
“Because they’re nosy pricks and not worth my time when they’re asking me about rumors of my flings.”
“They’re not true?”
“What the fuck are you? Does TMZ sent you?”
“Good point, never mind.”
They let the quiet settle in, and Tim isn’t too bothered by the company so much. The red amber eats to his filter. Tim puts out the light and puts the bud back inside the pack while he gets another one. He looks down at his light, which reminded him of Tam. Damn, she was such a good assistant, she’s also his best friend but a damn better assistant. Tim doesn’t let himself think about it.
He lights another, and puffs.
“Shouldn’t you be patroling?” Tim says before he can stop himself.
“Nah, not here to patrol, just some errands.”
“Don’t mind me. I’m not jumping.”
“No, I know that,” Red says, tone softer that Tim narrows his eyes at him.
“Lonely?” Tim teases, putting the filter in his lips while locking eyes to the pair of white lenses.
Red shrugs, “Just wanna kill time with someone that doesn’t wear one of these,” he says, tapping to his domino mask.
Tim hums imagining himself with his family, “Yeah, me too, I’d take a vigilante franchise over family dinner anytime.”
“Aww,” Red surprisingly coos, making Tim flustered.
“Don’t get it twisted, my family sets a pretty low bar for good company.”
“I can say the same, Timmy.”
Tim flinches, “I didn’t say you can call me Timmy.”
“What about friends then?” Red follows up, ignoring him.
“Joker killed my only best friend. Oh god, stop making that face, everyone I know got someone they know killed by the Joker, or Bane, or.... shit just those freaks.”
“Doesn’t make me feel better.”
“I don’t care what you feel.”
“I’m wounded,” Red says in that joking ‘boo-hoo’ voice but it was the last thing to snap Tim’s patience completely. He hates this casual conversation as if nothing happened.
“I’m not jumping, and I know you’re not here just to talk to some random civilian. You know who I am, so say what you wanna say and go,” Tim inhales deeply after the low-toned rant, only to be met with another silence.
They stay quiet for a few whiles again. Smoking the tension away. After Tim’s cig burns halfway, his nerves calmed down. Then he realizes that Red is looking at him. Staring.
“What?” Tim says, sighing smoke.
“Would you kill Joker if you could?”
“In a heartbeat.”
“Killing someone isn’t as easy as it sounds, especially if you did it before.”
“You underestimate my anger then.”
Red Hood goes still for what Tim is insinuating. His phone vibrates in his pocket. Tim gets it and his new assistant reminds him of a flight in an hour and he needs to be ready in half. Tim puts out his cig and pockets it.
As he stands up, he looks down at Red Hood, really looks at him. It reminded Tim of the time has passed. It’s been so long.
“Nothing to say?” Tim asks, he has an underlying tone of ‘last chance.’
“Thanks for the light.”
Tim clenches his jaw and breaths slowly. What did he expect? “You caught me at a bad time but it’s good to meet you again, Jason.”
When Tim walks away, his elbow is grabbed and he’s spun to face Jason in all his bulk. Looming over him with his height.
“You know who I am?” Red says with a threat in his voice that makes Tim wants to laugh.
“Are you really that surprised? Or did you forget me when you fucking died?” Tim smiles bitterly.
Moments passed, eyes on each other, chest to chest. The last time he sees Jason, Tim was staring at these white lenses too, and Jason was still as tall as him. At this close, Tim sees tiny tears that heal pale than the rest of his tan skin, bulked up body looming over him that used to be similar to his. For anyone, Tim had two best friends, Robin and Jason Wayne-Todd, he had known the two are the same. Seems like Jason doesn’t.
Doesn’t matter now. Everything said and done. Too late.
“Say your goodbyes now,” Tim says, because why else would his childhood friend pops back again after a decade of not saying anything after he returned to life. Tim doesn’t realize it’ll hurt this bad though. Missing Tam doesn’t hurt this bad.
Perhaps it was because the scar never healed right, but he still thinks of Jason like a big chunk of him that’s been torn away forcefully, even now.
“I’m sorry,” Jason finally says, low and guilty, as he should be, but it irks Tim to no end.
“I lost you, and when you’re back you didn’t tell me,” Tim says, his voice cracks and he curses it to hell. Red Hood’s been around for years, and Jason never came to Tim to say he’s alive.  “If you have nothing else to say, let go of me.”
“I didn’t know that you knew.”
“What?”
“I didn’t know you know I was Robin... Did you know... everyone?”
Tim rolls his eyes, “Yes.” Gloved hands still on his elbow, and white lenses not letting him go. The non-challant face he wears slips off as if oil just slicked between the mask and his skin. His heart picks up a beat. There are layers between their skin, Jason’s thick gloves and Tim’s three-piece suit, but it feels warmer. Burning.
“Damn,” Jason curses under his breath.
It’s just a little thing, but Jason’s silence following that is a nother prick to Tim’s skin.
“Is that all?” Tim dismissed, pulling his arm away, but Jason only holds tighter.
“I didn’t know, okay?” Jason pushes, “And you’re a civilian, you’re not supposed to know Jason Todd is back to the land of the living.”
“A civilian,” Tim mutters under his breath. That’s all he is to Jason? All this time. His chest hurts, Tim knows this is because of Jason’s words instead of anything else. “Get away from me.”
“I’ll see you again,” Jason says before letting go.
Before Tim can say don’t bother, the man puts on his red helmet and grapples away. For a moment Tim can see the shadow of red yellow green flying away.
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jovalencia · 3 years
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we all knew this was coming and I’m a sentimental bitch. I just wanted to write all my mutuals some little messages about how much I love you. you guys have changed my life and I am so grateful for each and every one of you!!!💕💞💓💗💖💘 anygays have fun searching for yourself in this mess and I’m sorry for any typos, I’m illiterate (and if i forgot you it’s because i lost my brain in 1912)
@cr1spyy fernanda, my first ever mutual. who would have thought that your 5th wave posts would have brought one of the most amazing people in my life to me. your posts always make me laugh and your dedication to the good morning asks is admirable (fr I could never have that much consistency) you’re so kind to everybody and you’re absolutely beautiful and incredible and I fucking love you so much. I honestly don’t even want to think about what my life would be like if I had never met you, MWAH💕🤍
@sundaymorninghangover I remember you being my first ever note!! you liked this post I made that was a reblog of a “uquiz” that was actually a rickroll lmao. you didn’t even follow me back then but whatever. Then I remember waking up one day to see that you had tagged me in a bingo ask game and I was like “ummm tf is an ask game” but I do still have a bingo card for it that I never used ekenksjs. anygays, you have good opinions on everything and you’re absolutely fucking hilarious. If you told me back in may that I would be friends with you I wouldn’t believe it bc you intimidated me but regardless I’m glad to be an arson gang member with you. your memes are god tier and so is your music taste. I love you whore!!!!!🖤💜
@sound-and-colors ma’am you’re so nice and for what??? the aesthetic stuff that you reblog is *chef’s kiss* and nobody else is out there doing it like you. we’ve never talked but I just know that you are absolutely incredible mwah❤️💛
@embeddedinmybrain tasfia you are the nicest person on his hellsite and you know it (I hope). It was so much fun being your secret admirer anon while it lasted, like fr I loved it. Your art is beautiful just like your heart and i honestly don’t know what I did to deserve such a kind soul like you in my life. You’re always there to hype me up and ily (also just cut your own hair already I believe in you)🤍💙
@gumptin you hooked me with your suus icon and reeled me in by being the coolest and funniest person ever. your posts are consistently hilarious, accurate, or relatable and I admire that. I mean it when I say you’re one of the coolest people on here. idk what I did to have you think I’m cool but I’m honored nonetheless. also you have really awesome style and hair jdnjdjdjd mwah💚💛
@nori-in-pink first and foremost, your blog always has a very nice aesthetic and I feel like I need to acknowledge that. anyway, you are so kind and supportive and you don’t take any bullshit and that is absolutely amazing. you are absolutely iconic and always reblog the best stuff so I know I can count on your blog to be fantastic. you used to scare me (idk why don’t ask) but now I know that you’re just a big teddy bear ily💗💜
@matteohnora my slurpee queen and my mememate!! you always send me the funniest shit and it doesn’t go unappreciated. You’re always there for me with a silly meme or emotional support and I don’t think I’ve ever told you how grateful I am for that. whenever you stalk my blog it makes my heart go whooosh and I feel so special. Ily and I am so glad to have met you💜❤️
@lieverobbe ah yes, the girl with the impeccable music taste. that’s what I know you as, oh well. you are more talented and kind than you could ever believe and your edits are amazing!!! whenever I see you on my dash I get all happy bc I’m like “em’s here!!!” I love all your lil posts and I am so glad that you are my mutual ilyyyyy💙🤍
@ironymane you’ve watched limitless which automatically makes you amazing. you’re an absolutely incredible and amazing person and even tho you aren’t on here as much anymore, I still love youre lil posts. And one time you kept me entertained on a 6hr car ride so you deserve some kind of award for that. ly🧡💛
@kingarthurpendragons okay the obvious thing to talk about here is your incredible talent when it comes to gif making. Like how in the hell- but you are also so kind and loving and it doesn’t go unnoticed. You don’t have to send nice asks but you do and ily for it mwah!!❤️💗
@engelkeijsers the skam nl stan that we all deserve to have in our lives. you are so fucking hilarious and relatable and all around amazing and for what? your posts always put a smile on my face and it is so much fun to clown with you. ilyyyy💚💛
@happiness-isin-you let’s ignore the fact that it took me forever to realize that this was your main lmao. your art is some of the most beautiful shit I’ve ever seen. like your style is so cool????  I could literally go on about this for hours don’t test me. the cute animal pictures are the absolute best and you’re always there for emotional support. Ilyyyyyyy💛❤️
@isakyaqi fiz you are so kind and talented and cool and I really do mean all that. You reblog always the best of content so I know I can trust it. you always put nice tags in the things you reblog things and it’s fun to read what you write because it’s almost always you hyping up the creator or the thing itself. you are awesome jdjdjdndjjd mwah🖤🤎
@cash-queens sam oh sam. Idek where to start with how much ily. You’re my famous mutual which is very iconic of you and you put up with my cat pictures and my silly antics and my riverdale posts. You’re so kind to me and everybody and whenever I make a post when I’m having a mental breakdown you’re always there to make sure that I’m doing okay. That def doesn’t go unappreciated. You’re legitimately one of the kindest and most amazing people I’ve ever known and I love you so much, more than you could ever know💛🤍
@welcometo-saturn çağrı you’re so cool. end of statement. that’s all I have to say about it. your gifs are so beautiful and you don’t take shit from anybody. you’re so down to earth that it makes it seem like you’re somebody who I’ve just always known (even tho we’ve never talked sjdjdjdjdj) so yeah anyway, you’re are a really awesome person with really good opinions and I am so glad that we are mutuals🧡❤️
@amifeelingokay it’s difficult not to start with your url bc it’s amazing and I love it. your skam posts are always so nice and cute and positive (just like you!!) and I love them. the content you reblog is always aesthetic or a nice text post and I just love your blog okay. ily💜🖤
@isthatelpome you’re so nice that I’m willing to overlook your opinion on salt and vinegar chips (they’re not good I’ll fight you on that) your dani icon is beautiful just as you are, mwahhhh🧡❤️
@earthling-isa babe you are so cute with your lil edits and your clowning. the near constant black and white aesthetic is very iconic and i love it. you’re a suus stan so I have no choice but to love you for it. i absolutely adore your gifs, especially the ones with the lil squares in the middle fygzbgut. you are absolutely beautiful and incredible and kind and I love you MWAHHHH🖤💙
@grey-mist-exist okay we’ve never talked but you seem like such a rad person. not cool but like rad (there are are subtle differences) your art is beautiful even tho idk the quotes (go off smarty pants) and overall you are just really rad, idk how else to say it mwah!!!🤍🖤<pretend it’s a grey heart
@fatoudixon hey look it’s one of the most talented people here!!! You’ve always been so kind and supportive of me and I really really do appreciate it. you have good opinions on everything and did I mention that you’re talented?? cause you are, very. Your reaction videos are amazing and not to mention iconic, just like your hair. anyway, ily and I am so glad that I have somebody as amazing as you as my mutual💙💛
@sander-klaas you are so kind and and you have so much passion. I can always trust you reblog only the best of wtfock and sobbe content which I am very grateful for. you literally just started making gifs and they are so beautiful (okay it was like months ago but whatever dkdjdjjdjdj) anyway, thank you so much for being my mutual mwah❤️💛
@jusdekiwi okay we’ve never talked but you genuinely seem like such a sweet person??? I love the stuff you reblog, it’s always the best gif sets. idk I can just tell you have good taste. I hope to get to know you better in the future, but for now I am very grateful to have you💚💙
@kritiquer my twin!!! you and I have a lot in common so ofc I love you. I’m joking obviously.... anygays you are always so supportive of everybody and you are so sweet. I love all of your personal posts, it always makes me really happy to see what you’re up to and how you’re feeling. I also like the aesthetic stuff you reblog, I have bad taste in all that, clearly you don’t. I am so glad that we started talking and I hope that we continue! ily kit!!!!💜🤍
@bleachblondebitches you aren’t on here that much, but whenever you are I get so happy! Your gifs are beautiful and I think about your sobbe and booksmart parallels gifset every day. you have amazing taste in movies and I love you!💜💙
@lesbeanfatou clara!!! bitch!!!! You already know how much I love you but I guess I’ll reiterate. I honestly don’t know what I did before I knew you. I always remember looking at the no idea blog with the Nora icons like “who is this?” Little did I know back then that you would be one of my closest friends. your support of me means the world and I am so grateful for you. I’m so glad that I have somebody in my life like you to talk to and be friends with. you are one of the funniest people in and I just love you so much I could burst mwah❤️🧡
@gucciboner okay hiii ypu are literally so fucking kind and funny, i admire your sense of humor sm. your art is so beautiful and you are so goddamn talented, it never ceases to amaze me. I also love all the little funny posts you make and reblog!! ily💙💗
@helmtaryn even though you put supernatural on my dash, I am willing to forgive you bc I love you so much. your gifs are so beautiful like ma’am didn’t you just start?? icon shit. your hate for photoshop is iconic and you are awesome. you’re always sending me asks and responding to my posts and you’re so nice and it makes my heart go whooosh. anygays you’re cool and ily💙🧡
@starmansander nina when I tell you that you give off the best vibes- okay sorry I had to start with that. I love how you are so nice and supportive of me, it really means a lot. I really like the stuff you reblog like,,, cool art? pretty women? those hopeful little posts? iconic. also youre a noor stan which is a sign of good taste. love you🤎❤️
@ijzermanora daniiiiiii madam you are so epic and iconic and I really could go on about that forever. you are so kind and you’re following all my joke sideblogs (even the ch*cken l*ttle hate blog??? why???) which is very brave of you. I love reading all of your lil wholesome posts and hearing about school and how much you hate chemistry (even tho you like sushi???) anygays we were already sending memes 10 hours into our mutualship so I think we were soulmates from the very beginning. I love you so much and I have no idea what I did before i knew you💜💗
@alwaysin-myhead okay, you give off cool person vibes and I had to acknowledge that. your art is so beautiful and you are so incredibly talented!!! I hope to get to know you in the future🧡💛
@alexiaugustin here she is!!! the queen of good opinions!!! you are such a smart cookie and you use that power to make long paragraph posts that I can actually read without falling asleep. which is impressive honestly. never has a person been so kind and funny and genius in such a well rounded way (that makes no sense) I’m so happy that I have you in my life ilyyy💚💗
@ijntba hihi you’re such a sweet person and I literally love your skam blog sm. I am so honored that you’re using one of my icons you have no idea. even though I’m confused when you post about anime, I still appreciate your passion lmao. mwah💛🧡
@hidden-joy liz!! you are such a kind soul and I absolutely love looking at the things you reblog and reading all the nice things that you put in the tags, it’s always so sweet and supportive!!! we’re relatively new mutuals, but I do hope to get to know you better in the future!!!💚💛
okay sorry to group y’all together but @fudgetunblr and @alexiswoke I like just became mutuals with y’all but I do love you and I’m glad you’re here and I hope 2021 treats you well and that i get to know you better!!❤️❤️
aaand one last final message for max and sarah, i know yall wont see this but ily🧡 💜
okay yeah I know I already said this but I really do love each and every one of you so much and I am so lucky to have so many amazing people in my life💕💕💓💕💖💖💕💘💕💗💞💓💕💖💖💘💕💓
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nightmaremerchant · 3 years
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okay ik this is an opinion no one asked for but now im thinking about the whole dan and phil joint branding as opposed to Dan Branding™ and Phil Branding™. also this is fully adding onto posts on @ browncesario and @ demonetisation’s blogs and i feel too awkward to tag them bc i dont wanna make anyone feel obligated to read this lol but if i repeat anything they said or their anons said its not on purpose!
but like, full disclaimer while i love dan and phil i feel like its always been kind of obvious that they were marketing their relationship to us? obv not so much anymore but like... as much as people who dont keep up w dnp like to pretend that their only awareness of us as a fanbase was creepy objectifying shippers who should feel ashamed for harassing them etc etc, they’ve always been way more tuned into their audience than i think people realize. like they’ve *known* what we’re like, and i dont even mean just the bad parts. like they *know* that a lot of their fanbase is queer and genuinely has looked up to them as queer role models long before they were out, and a lot of that hinges on us understanding they were a couple. and ik they resented it and i wasn’t really part of the fanbase until a few years ago but hearing stories of how dan would react on liveshows sometimes and the like, barely concealed resentment for the fans sometimes shows that while they definitely had issues with it (which like,,, is fair), they also knew they were kind of stuck in a rut. because if their primary source of fans are people who like seeing them together, that meant that their success as youtubers/creators/etc depended on keeping those fans right where they were.
and to be clear! i know ive never been here primarily for their relationship; i started watching them bc i thought they were funny together and had a good dynamic, which wouldve been possible even if they really were just friends. i didnt get emotionally invested in the projection part of it until later. but even so, i was always aware as a fan that they were selling to us the speculation of their relationship.
and this is def pulling from other posts ive seen today but considering the fanfic part of tatinof, the fact that they wrote fanfic in tabinof and incorporated shippy fan art into the youtube versions, giving the people what they want, even little things like the conjoined baking challenge vid.... they wanted us to stay curious about their relationship. Even if on a very real level it was literally bringing back trauma for them, there was this weird cognitive dissonance between “im angry at people for speculating about us” and “look here, dont stop speculating about us! look we’re sharing a sweater! look we’re being ~domestic~ in ditls!”
which is also why i thought the hiatus wouldnt last long tbh, like i was genuinely shocked that after the success of ii they would completely separate their brandings from each other in 2019. and i wont @ this person but someone said it best years ago when they said that joint branding had to die for dnp to come out. bc it really did; how could they keep up the speculation if we have literally almost all the puzzle pieces laid out? when they’ve primed their audience to actively hunt down these pieces (even if again, they would rather have not, esp given what they each talked about in their coming out videos), but they dont *want* us to put it all together, how could they sustainably make joint content while keeping the speculation fanbase there? bc once the speculation is over, people are gonna keep wanting more. (and disclaimer i really dont think this applies to like....anyone i follow on here tbh bc in general i feel like we’re fine w them keeping their boundaries where they are, but we’ve all seen posts like that that indicate that people *will* want more, and thats something that they’re unwilling to give and understandably so).
anyway this all goes to the main thing that brought all this on today lol, ever since 2019 they’ve been trying to cultivate their own separate branding from each other, and while i’m here for it tbh, surely they know that they’ll never escape their old joint branding. Which also means never escaping the spectre of relationship speculation. so i have mixed feelings about seeing dan act shocked that people could ever speculate about his private life once he became famous bc like 1) thats literally just what happens when you become famous, and 2) ....he and phil egged it on up to a point, and that doesnt mean it didnt upset them but it definitely feels off for dan to always be so pikachu face about having had fans that speculated about his relationship. like dan you literally wrote erotic fanfiction about you and phil, pieced together fan art illustrating it that showed you and phil in a homoerotic lens, and yet you’re *still* acting shocked and indignant that fans got invested in your relationship/the possibility of your relationship?? idk man. its confusing bc at the time i took things like that as “oh, we’re in on the joke,” but ever since 2019 they’ve made it more clear that we’re not, but we’re also not *not* in on it to an extent (looking at you, cah phan edition)
so im def still excited for dan’s book (like the subject doesnt terribly interest me tbh but i do wanna see what he does with it and read whatever highlights inevitably get posted on here), but as always w the end of regular joint content, im lowkey here for the over-analyzing about the relationship between dan, phil, their fans, and their content bc dear god we never run out of material to rant about
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tfw-no-tennis · 3 years
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ani....morphs.....
ok so picking up after the david trilogy, which hit hard as FUCK, we have book 23, which basically was a semi truck that ran over my corpse, jesus christ, they really followed up the david trilogy w/all that....
23 was so so good and also painful. its the culmination of a lot of tobias’s characterization in the series thus far and also we finally get the reveal we’ve been waiting for about elfangor....ooooh man 
and there was a lot of painful stuff in this book but the worst imo was tobias wondering if it were possible that somebody wanted him and would take care of him, only to have it all come crashing down in the worst way when it turned out aria was visser three in morph, ouch. 
that was so brutal augh. and when he figured it out and just crash landed and kept thinking about how he wanted to die and how he was stupid to think he could have a home...bro get these kids some THERAPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 
so yeah that book was absolutely brutal but also so good...and it further fleshed out the animorphs working as a near-flawless team, w/the whole setup of tobias meeting w/the lawyer being so airtight and well-planned 
also more free hork bajir!! its cool that there's stuff happening w/them offscreen, I like that 
I literally had to take a break from reading the books bc the david triology + 23 was like so much, and also bc the olympics were on and all my time got dedicated to watching those, but then I opened 24, not sure what to expect, and BAM it was the helmacrons lmaoooo
I don't even remember the helmacrons but ig a lot of people hate them? lmao so that whole reputation preceded the book and I was like oh wow time for a change in tone
which wasn't wrong but also I liked that book?? I was never bored, even tho the whole thing was patently ridiculous and also had very little bearing on the overarching story
but I think it would be a standout if it were a TV episode w/a good budget - the visuals were amazing even in text, and I can imagine all the cool shrinking/growing/cellular stuff would be WICKED cool visually (ideally 2d animation but an ant man-esque live action adaptation wouldn't be terrible if they had the budget for it)
whatever let me dream. so yeah I didn't hate the helmacron book even tho the helmacrons themselves were...sure something. lmao I think they come back? that should be interesting
next book is the arctic one, we have yet another alien of the week style adventure - I liked this one too, it felt like more plot-y stuff happened since they destroyed the base, and marco’s POV is always fun 
I do find it funny/interesting how sometimes when the animorphs do something - like in this book, destroying that base in the arctic - it doesn't really seem to impact the yeerks much/it doesn't get brought up much after that. and then other things like them destroying the ground-based kandrona get mentioned a lot (that example is understandable tho bc that WAS a big deal). its just hilarious to me how blowing up entire building complexes has become so routine that it isn’t even worth mentioning at this point
Also I adore when they meet other random people/kids and are chill w/them, like w/that kid they met in the rain forest earlier on w/the time travel 
the descriptions of the brutally cold weather were great. I hate the cold so I was like oof this is a nightmare lmao
also ig that was the first ghostwritten book and I did kinda notice it was slightly different than usual? maybe? I could be imagining it tho 
okay but book 26 tho...BOOK 26. bruh 
that was SO good and I really didn’t know what to expect - but when we finally revisited Jake’s dream w/crayak I knew it was gonna be good (but I didn’t expect it to be a chess game war epic..!)
basically I loved it. SUCH a good Jake book - I really appreciate his character now as opposed to when I was 10 and often overlooked him (sorry jake).
similarly, when I was a kid and read these I sympathized a lot w/the chee and felt bad for them towards the end of the series when they had to get more involved in the war (genuinely don’t remember what they even do but ik I felt bad) 
but now I've basically 180′d and I'm like damn those chee sure are hypocrites huh. 
like they could solve So many of the animorphs problems but their stringent adherence to nonviolence leads to them actively getting in the animorphs way sometimes? and obviously pacifism is a complicated topic, but in this case it also intersect w/the whole ‘child soldier’ thing, and as beings who are insanely old and wise, the chee probably shouldn't just leave all the dirty work to a bunch of literal middle schoolers
aaaaanyways. there’s so much I love about this book. the iskoort! they were sure something. and the ‘plot twist’ that they are actually 2 beings, the Isk and the Yoort - and the Yoort are essentially Yeerks - that slapped. the symbiosis of it all! 
I loved the part where they all realize what this means, that this is why Crayak wants the iskoort destoryed - because someday the yeerks might come across them and realize parasitism is not the only way. I love it! 
alas I don’t recall the iskoort returning in the story (but also my memory is terrible so who knows?) but still that would be cool
basically I feel like this is the book where Jake Truly comes into his own as a leader, in every sense. he outmaneuvers Crayak, and even the ellimist, who’s yanking them around in his own way
the scene where jake shoves the howler off the cliff and jumps off and morphs and acquires the howler...that was fantastic and tense. 
also the murder is definitely becoming more overt. I mean, it has been for a while, but it isn’t really pointed out as much anymore. oof
more on the chee - as Jake points out in this book, and other characters point out in other books - the chee could have saved the pemalites, but instead just stood by while their creators were slaughtered. on the other hand, jake says, what do the chee do AFTER they’ve killed the howlers - where to point them next? when is the end of their violence? 
buuuuut also standing by while atrocities occur is pretty damning, as is frequently mentioned in this series - from the very beginning, when marco initially doesn’t want to get involved in the war at all, and the other animorphs basically tell him that turning his back on the war and acting like he doesn’t even know it’s happening would be immoral and cowardly (which imo this reaction helps to push marco in the direction he ends up going, but I digress) - this topic comes up again in 19 when cassie quits the team and rachel is upset bc she sees it as cassie elevating her own feelings above the greater good (as in, as long as cassie feels good about how she acts, it doesn’t matter how much preventable evil the yeerks are committing while she turns away). etc etc. but that’s essentially what’s happening w/the chee - even tho they help w/intel, the lack of any sort of Action on their part means that they’re essentially allowing awful things to happen when they could prevent them. this is rambly but basically...animorphs deals so much in grey areas, and the chee are noticeably black and white in their actions, despite falling, in a meta sense, in an extremely grey area. its such good, thought provoking writing!
anywayssss I keep talking about the chee lmao what else was there. oh YEAH jake and cassie kissed for the first time awww that was super cute 
and ofc immediately marco teases them as asks jake if he’s gonna kiss him next, and all I can say is...marco is a bicon 
also I love the background worldbuilding w/the iskoort, how they have all these groups and guilds and stuff - its not dwelled on much, which actually works really well to give the world/species a sense of lived-in realness 
okay oh man and the reveal at the end that the howlers were just like...children who thought the whole thing was a game...AUGHH man that’s sooo fucked 
like, when jake morphs the howler and has rachel ready to knock him down in grizzly morph if he gets out of control due to the howler’s murderous instincts, and he morphs to find that the howler is...playful, like a dolphin morph. SUCH a good fucked up sense of dawning horror there 
and the fact that as far as I can tell the chee KNEW this, but wanted revenge anyways, so they let the animorphs assume that the howlers were Evil On Purpose
also I love smaller moments, like jake seeing that ax is ashamed for briefly running away during one battle w/the howlers, and then entrusts him w/an important task bc he knows that ax will see that as redemption - and when everyone thought jake was dead and were so happy when he wasn't (they all love each other so much im gonna cry about these child soldiers augh)
basically that book was so good
man one thing I absolutely love is that the longer the series goes on the more obvious it is that andalites, despite inventing morphing technology, barely use it themselves 
like, most of the andalite characters we see barely morph. its kind of a last resort to them, as they’re already plenty dangerous in their regular forms 
meanwhile for the animorphs, that’s all they have to fight with. that’s their only weapons against the yeerks, and its so fun to see them use the power in so many varied ways, and so creatively, while the andalites have barely scratched the surface of their own technology
its also interesting to contrast against the yeerks who start out w/absolutely no technology, and the andalites share some but not all of their technology w/them...its too bad that morphing technology was just starting out cause that would’ve been interesting
like imo a lot of the conflict w/the yeerks could’ve been avoided if they could just nothlit into better forms - of course, there’d still be plenty of yeerks who want to go start wars or w/e, just like pretty much any species in the series, but a lot of yeerks would probably be like ‘yeah I'm good’ and just chill out as nothlits
also people online love to talk about how humans are alienfuckers and would definitely have sex w/sentient aliens and whatnot, and while I'm not saying that's untrue, its just funny bc in animorphs the truest alienfuckers are definitely the andalites
as of the hork-bajir chronicles, we now have a second instance of an andalite morphing another species to be in an inter-species alien romance (and eventually have kids) 
speaking of, I don’t think I’ve talked abt the hork bajir chronicles yet??? even tho I read it a while ago lmao 
HBC was great...I honestly haven’t really run into an animorphs book I’ve actually disliked at this point, I’m sure it’ll come w/all the ghostwriting and whatnot, but I’ve liked at least some aspects of every book
anyways HBC was great, and it’s funny bc I remember that I read this book as a kid, and yet rereading it now I didn’t remember a single bit of it lmaooo
I really liked the framing device of the free hork bajir telling this story to tobias. I also liked how we know from the beginning that this story wont have a happy ending - we know all the hork bajir end up enslaved by the yeerks, but it’s still somehow hopeful at the end? I think this is largely due to the framing device tbh. 
also I love toby, and I love that the First free hork bajir named their kid after tobias ;_; 
and oooh mannn I LOVED the different POVs from this book. all the characters were so interesting! aldrea was fascinating - I really like the increasingly negative view of the andalites that the readers are getting, all while maintaining the sense that they aren’t like, actively evil, just that they have their issues - like aldrea’s arrogance, and the general andalite arrogance which lead to the loss of the hork bajir. also, who knew andalites had their own brand of sexism? Ls
I did like getting a female andalite tho, that was cool. and dak was really cool, he was such a good, compassionate character who was able to maintain his morals in an interesting way throughout the story
and VISSER THREE...or should I say esplin 9466, because he’s not visser 3 yet...getting his ‘origin story’ was excellent - I really like how we’re learning about visser 3 backwards - we start off the series w/him as the main villain, and he’s campy and menacing, and then we see him in the andalite chronicles as a power-hungry sub-visser trying to climb the ranks and eventually getting alloran as a host, and then back even further here, w/the start of his focus on the andalites and the beginning of his ambition. its been very cool and interesting to see
plus, the beginning of the yeerks as we know them! seerow! alloran! it’s a party and nobody is having a good time, except for some of the yeerks. 
I like how it’s pretty obvious that the andalites are well-meaning with their interactions w/the yeerks, but go about it the wrong way - they give them enough technology that the yeerks realize there’s a whole world out there to experience, and then they blockade the yeerks on their planet and tell them they can’t leave. nnnnot the best approach imo
again, as I said above, I’m interested in how things could’ve gone if the andalites had given the yeerks morphing technology early on - could a lot of the conflict have been avoided, or would it have been worse? the yeerks seem pretty evil in this book, immediately jumping to enslave anyone they can. otoh we hear from esplin that not all yeerks like having host bodies, and find it overwhelming, preferring to swim around in the yeerk pool as a slug - I assume as host bodies became more available this type of thinking was probably stamped out in yeerk society or w/e, but there are a lot of interesting what-ifs in the situation 
I loved the scene where esplin first experiences having a host, and immediately knows he can’t go back. there are a bunch of great sensory descriptions, and it’s a nice scene to pinpoint as a foundational moment for the visser three in the current story, who spent a lot of time and energy getting what he sees as the best possible host body, an andalite
I find it interesting how much visser three clearly respects the andalites, even while constantly deriding them. and you can see the origins of that here as he immediately focuses in on the andalites, working to become an expert on them in order to make himself useful enough to move thru the ranks
another thing I like is how esplin seems a lot more crafty and ambitious than the visser three from modern times - I would guess that reaching his goal (andalite host body) and being given all that power was detrimental, playing on his weaknesses instead of his strengths. basically, I don’t think it’s ooc or anything, I can see how HBC-esplin became animorphs-esplin, especially w/TAC in between
as for seerow...poor dude. you really do have to feel for him, because you get the sense he really did just want to be kind to the yeerks, but it was borne from a place of pity, and he (and the other andalites) consistently held too much power over the yeerks for the species relations to ever be truly equal and functional 
AUGH I have so many thoughts about alien space politics. omg. I need to talk about the actual story lmao
so yeah I also feel for aldrea, she had a rough time, watching her entire family die and being thrown into a hopeless war
and then the andalite council or w/e not listening to her bc she's a girl AND seerow’s daughter...oof
also, I really really liked the running theme of the andalites - specifically aldrea - looking down on the hork bajir as ‘simple’ and constantly underestimating them, especially dak
and I like how this is portrayed as a bad attitude for aldrea to have, and she still remains and interesting and sympathetic character even while having obvious flaws. it’s about being 3-dimensional baby!
and oh man I love that dak realizes that aldrea looks down on him, and his entire species, but he can see that that’s how the andalites are, and it all connects back to the beginning of the story w/the yeerks, bc the andalites looked down on the yeerks and treated them with pity and kept them pinned under their proverbial thumb ‘for their own good’ and look how that turned out 
but dak is wise and kind enough to not hate aldrea for this, even acknowledging when she’s using him, but not pushing her away because he recognizes good in her too - and she ends up changing, partially because of his faith in her
and I feel like it can all be compared to that scenario of like - a hypothetical creature that lives in a 2D world suddenly being thrust into a 3D world, and comprehending what its seeing, and understanding that there’s so much more out there outside of the flat lines of its world - and then its dropped back into 2D-land with the knowledge of all the stuff its missing out on, and no way to get back to it or explain it to anybody else
I loooove that ‘trope’ or w/e you wanna call it, and it’s done beautifully here w/the yeerks - whos the say they wouldn't have been fine in their pool swimming around; as esplin said, a lot of the yeerks were terrified of having a host, it was only from the andalites’ perspective that their lives were sad and pitiful, and the andalites showed them what the world could be like, and then said ‘no, you can’t travel the stars like we do, you have to stay here on your planet and do what we say.’
and then again, w/the hork bajir - dak talks about how, even though he drinks up the knowledge that aldrea gives him, in the end it might have been better to just have lived peacefully, not knowing what was in the sky or the Deep - as aldrea says: “It was too late for Dak: he knew that the stars were not flowers.” 
plus the hork bajir having to go from a completely peaceful species who don’t even understand the concept of violence, to a bunch of soldiers fighting a war...oof 
basically everyone in this story uses the hork bajir. the yeerks use them as hosts, the andalites use their planet as a convenient place to dump seerow and then take their sweet time coming to help, and the arn created them as means to stabilize the planet, but block them off from their society and refuse to help when the yeerks come
like, the arn modifying themselves to be un-infestable by the yeerks and then being enslaved for physical labor instead? oof guys. if they had teamed up w/the hork bajir resistance things might have gone better, but probably not 
more on aldrea - throughout the story I was always thinking ‘how am I supposed to see her? as a good person, or as a bad person?’ 
as a POV character, especially a ‘good guy’ andalite, you just start off automatically thinking of her as a good person, but as the story goes on, she starts getting lost in revenge and begins using dak and the hork bajir, and you’re left wondering if this is a story about her slide into darkness, and then towards the end of the story her character development culminates in her making the decision to stay w/the hork bajir, and the be with dak, and that’s about when I went ‘ohhh right this is animorphs so every character is pretty much gonna be grey’
I feel like that moral grey-ness was on full display w/aldrea, and I really enjoyed that. I love so much when characters who are good do bad things, for good or bad reasons, especially in media like animorphs that’s aimed at kids. it’s so compelling. 
oof, and the ending when aldrea convinces dak to mobilize the hork bajir and teach them violence...and dak asks her if she’s ever killed another andalite, and she’s horrified, and says of course she hasn’t, and he says that that’s what she’s asking him, and all the hork bajir, to do - to kill their own people, even if they are being controlled by the yeerks. biiiig oof. I love that dak can keep up w/aldrea and her andalite supremacy attitude - it seems that the non-andalite characters who get along best w/the andalites are the ones who wont take their bs 
what else happened....oh my god how could I forget about alloran, and his quantum virus. oooof. I like how we find out about alloran in parallel to visser three, in the same backwards way - in animorphs he’s the tragic host of visser three, in TAC he’s the disgraced but still semi-respected war-prince who becomes the first ever andalite controller, and here he’s the guy who decides to commit some war crimes because, hey, we haven’t tried that yet 
but yeah that was fucked up, I love it. I’ve said it before I think but I like that alloran isn’t some perfect martyr tragically taken by the yeerks - it’s a lot more compelling that he’s a very flawed person who was taken as a controller partially due to his own bloodthirstiness. 
but yeah, the part where aldrea morphs alloran and ‘sneaks’ into that room was great. aldrea’s dedication to disposing of the virus is a great indicator of her character development - it really feels like the straw that broke the camels back w/re: to the andalites not being what she thought they were, w/their tardiness coming to help the hork bajir planet and the way her father was treated being the precursors to this realization. it all culminates nicely in aldrea saying ‘fuck this actually’ and nothlit-ing into a hork bajir.
and it’s really tragic but realistic that even though aldrea and dak end up seeing eye to eye at the end and getting together, the virus ends up being released anyways (and fails in its objective to stop the yeerks from using the hork bajir - the whole thing was p much a lose-lose situation oof), and aldrea and dak still die fighting a hopeless war 
but then we have the free hork bajir on earth, including toby, who, like tobias, has andalite ancestry, but no DNA to show for it - I like that they have that connection as well as tobias being her namesake
so yeah I enjoyed that one and its many-layered themes
WOW this got long uuuuuhhh ok I think i’ll leave this one off here. at the time I’m actually finishing the writing and editing, I’m on book 35 lol so I have some backlogging to do. never fear, I have a lot to say....
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horde-princess · 4 years
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A Meta on Catra’s Relationships with DT, Scorpia, and Adora
I’m so excited to write this finally ljsdflkj okay so. I’ve been thinking about why the creators would choose to center a whole season around this new character Double Trouble. They drove the plot and played a major role in a really important part of the story, Catra’s redemption. So I wanna think more about the purpose of this character and go deeper into a couple of their scenes with Catra.
tbh Catra and DT’s very first interaction says it all: DT literally takes the form of Scorpia and tells Catra “I’m about to become your new best friend.” As the season goes on, Double Trouble replaces Scorpia as a sort of artificial confidant for Catra. But it blows up in her face and the purpose of the whole thing is to shed light on Catra’s main internal conflict: her desire for love vs. her fear of heartbreak/vulnerability.
In other words, I believe Double Trouble was introduced as a foil to Scorpia. But if we think about how Scorpia is also a foil to Adora, then that means DT is like... a foil to a foil. So they’re not directly associated with Adora but a lot of what they do relates back to her. Yeah there are a lot of layers here lmao but basically what I’m gonna analyze is how Catra’s relationships with these three characters intertwine and build off each other in season 4 to set the stage for Catra’s redemption (and catradora endgame hollaaa)
So in the beginning, Catra and DT both understand their relationship to be a business arrangement. When does that start to change for Catra, and why?
Catra’s History With Betrayal
Just think about Catra’s relationships at the start of s4.. After the portal, Adora had basically severed whatever was left of their relationship, and that was shown to be weighing on Catra all season. Scorpia and Entrapta were the only other people she cared about, but Entrapta betrayed her (first by monopolizing Hordak’s attention then by refusing to open the portal), then Scorpia dared to question her decision to send their friend to die and her presence became a constant reminder of Catra’s guilt. In fact, the mere mention of Entrapta’s name in 4x03 causes Catra to snap and yell at Scorpia “we are not friends!” ... which of course isn’t true. Catra may think Scorpia’s annoying but she confided in her, her loyalty made Catra feel like she could trust her.. and that’s exactly why Catra always tried so hard to push her away. All the betrayals in her life scarred her so deeply that she wanted to avoid emotional intimacy at all costs. I’m about to get Jungian up in this shit bc we see a deep disconnect between Catra’s outward actions (her conscious) and her inner desires (subconscious) this season and it’s this i believe that leads to her breakdown in 4x10. It’s an unsustainable way to live.
Why Catra Trusted Double Trouble
So by 4x04, Catra had sabotaged her only two relationships. She was utterly alone, and vulnerable, and Double Trouble was in the right place at the right time offering their loyalty to her.. so Catra did what any emotionally stable person would do and subconsciously used a hired mercenary to try and fill the growing void in her heart. I don’t think Catra actually cared about DT much at all, like sure they got along and that matters on some level, but I think it’s more that Catra was in a vulnerable place and DT was the only one around.
So why does Catra trust Double Trouble when she won’t let herself trust anyone else? I’ve seen some posts saying it’s because Catra is self-destructive--i.e. she only seeks love from people who won’t give it to her because she doesn’t believe she deserves love--which is super true.. but I think her motivations can be better explained by saying that Catra knew from the start that Double Trouble didn’t really care about her, and that’s why the partnership was attractive to her (at first). She thought it would be safe--no vulnerability, no risk of heartbreak. But the truth is Catra’s just not as disaffected as she wishes she was.
The moment Catra really let her guard down was when Double Trouble saved her from the collapsing building in 4x04. 
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can we just!! talk about this scene!!!! the way her voice shakes when she says “saving me” just, oh my god... like what a touchy subject for her, right? Shes spent her whole life resenting how Adora was always trying to “save” her from everything. I’m not sure but I think White Out (2x05) was the only other time Catra thanked someone for saving her life, and she just says “thanks for getting us out of there.” So her use of the word “save” here is special and it illustrates how deeply vulnerable Catra feels this season, and more importantly it’s a sign of character development! It’s no coincidence that the theme of saving is connected between DT, Scorpia, and Adora. It’s leading up to Catra learning to replace her resentment towards Adora with something closer to gratitude. 
But while the scene connects these relationships, it also highlights their differences. After Catra displays an astounding amount of vulnerability with DT, they coolly reply “well, I live to serve... for a price, of course.”
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This right here is the first step of Catra’s breakdown. Suppressed desires making themselves known, one half of her heart rebelling against the other. She was pushing away her real friends and finding hollow companionship with someone she thought she wouldn’t get attached to, but it happened anyway.
The difference between Double Trouble and Scorpia must have become glaringly obvious to Catra in that moment. Whereas Scorpia was loyal to Catra out of love, DT was mostly interested in getting paid. And she was surprised by how much that hurt. She fucking hated how much it hurt, you can see it written all over her face. It’s why she fails Scorpia’s little test in 4x06. Because of Double Trouble, Catra’s true desires were threatening to break free, so outwardly she fights against it and acts more resistant than ever to being friends with Scorpia. She castigates her, calls her annoying and incompetent, harsher than we’ve ever seen... but she didn’t expect Scorpia to hit back (we did, tho. Scorpia’s an icon).
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In four words Scorpia teaches Catra a hard lesson about what it means to earn someone’s loyalty. She knew she must’ve really fucked up if she somehow managed to push away the most loyal person in all of Etheria. And again the fake nature of Catra’s relationship with Double Trouble provides a reference for her to see why Scorpia’s loyalty, based in love, was so valuable, and why she shouldn’t have taken it for granted. It also relates to Adora because, similar to Scorpia, Adora had been trying so hard these past 3 seasons to connect with Catra, but she refused to forgive her and her behavior eventually forced Adora to cut ties. So Scorpia calling her out pushes Catra towards accepting some personal responsibility for everything that happened with Adora, too. Man there are just.. a ton of implications here.
Then Catra gives Hordak a fun pep talk but really it’s just her self-projecting all over him:
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At this point her hateful actions and her goal to conquer Etheria are extremely out of line with her true desires and we can see it’s really affecting her mental state. It wasn’t just one thing or person that caused her breakdown, it was a combination of Adora severing their relationship, and Scorpia’s disappointment in her, and Double Trouble’s indifference towards her. All three of these situations were playing off each other and chipping away at Catra’s carefully crafted armor, revealing a desire to be loved hidden underneath... which she continued to fight against for as long as she could. Adora and Scorpia were playing their roles in helping Catra learn to take responsibility for her life, but those relationships wouldn’t have been so effective had it not been for how they were contrasted with Double Trouble’s indifference. Anyway have I mentioned how amazing and complex this show is????
Catra Loses DT and Scorpia Around the Same Time
4x07 is the last time Catra talks to Double Trouble before they get captured by the rebels. Coincidentally, Catra realizes that Scorpia left her just one episode later, which once again points to a connection between these two characters. From 4x08 to 4x11 Catra is completely alone, feeling like she has lost everyone in her life. It sets the stage for her meltdown in 4x10. But my fave part about Scorpia leaving is how it changes the way Catra thinks about betrayal. 
Even if Scorpia didn’t tell Catra where she was going in the note she left, Catra had to have assumed she was leaving to join the Rebellion because where else would she have gone right? So the two people Catra loves most have now BOTH abandoned her to join the rebellion. I don’t even wanna think about how triggering that betrayal must have been for Catra.. I don’t wanna think about how the next time Catra sees Scorpia she’s going to be a full blown princess with powers and everything, just like what happened with Adora. 
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But there’s a key difference between Adora and Scorpia. Catra knows at this point that Adora didn’t want to leave her behind, but she did anyway to pursue some destiny that Catra wasn’t a part of, which left her feeling betrayed. Scorpia, on the other hand--the very definition of ‘loyalty’--left her specifically because Catra pushed her away. Her fear of vulnerability manifested as anger towards someone she refused to admit that she cared about, and it pushed her away.
Once again I think Scorpia is teaching Catra a lesson about taking responsibility for some of the shit in her life. It’s a privilege that Adora lost after being careless with Catra’s trust, and thus Scorpia was the only one in a position to reach Catra and help her. But I think that the things Catra learned from Scorpia are going to play back into her relationship with Adora and allow them to reconcile (when Adora deals with her own issues too).
We can also say a little about how Double Trouble’s betrayal contrasts with Scorpia’s and Adora’s. I think their complete emotional detachment is the perfect frame of reference for Catra to be able to acknowledge that even though Scorpia and Adora left her, they DID love her, and they never stopped trying to reach out to her--at least, not until Catra crossed a line with both of them. At some point, Catra went from being justified in her feelings of betrayal to overdoing it, placing too much blame where it didn’t belong and closing the door to forgiveness. So I think that’s the role that Double Trouble played there, helping Catra see that difference. Like even if someone leaves you, hurts you, it doesn’t always mean they don’t love you. Relationships take work and understanding and forgiveness and you have to learn how to handle that or you’ll always be alone. Scorpia’s the pure embodiment of that lesson, and she’s lighting the way for Catra to navigate the much more nebulous waters of her grudge against Adora.
Double Trouble’s Betrayal
So now Catra is feeling abandoned by Scorpia and Double Trouble (her only friends) and we see the disconnect between what’s in her heart and the front she’s been putting on come to a head in 4x10 when she has that meltdown. She’s kind of losing it because her fear and heartbreak are driving her down a path that she doesn’t actually want. It’s like watching a car crash in slow motion. In 4x12 she continues to hold on desperately to the idea that beating Adora will make her happy, because at this point she doesn’t see any way to turn the car around.
There’s an absolutely fantastic scene early in 4x12 that sets up Double Trouble’s betrayal beautifully, like really it’s a masterpiece. Catra’s childhood friends walk in on her in the locker room and they’re laughing and joking around and for a second it’s like... Catra longs to be a part of that again.. To have friends, to be happy. But then Kyle accidentally kicks one of Scorpia’s old doodles (a painful reminder that she’s gone) and Catra freaks out and attacks them. Kyle’s like “we used to be friends, why are you treating us like this?” So she lets them leave, feeling alone and miserable, and THAT’S when Double Trouble waltzes in... having had just made a deal with Glimmer to double cross Catra.
God it hurts so much. The contrast between her pushing away Scorpia and her real friends, and then her childlike relief upon seeing the person who just sold her out.
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This scene gives me fucking chills with the nightmare-ish music and everything.. It’s like, at this point DT is just fucking with her, they’ve already got Catra figured out. This face touch is so cruel and fits with the show’s motif of manipulative affection, too. For me it felt very disconcerting to see Catra like this... unaware that she’s been defeated yet she’s so emotionally vulnerable here, she’s like putty in Double Trouble’s hands. Scorpia leaving cracked her open and, as they’re the last person left standing with Catra’s trust, Double Trouble’s in the perfect position to come in and break her.
So the next episode 4x13 has that crazy scene where Double Trouble totally obliterates Catra and I’m not even gonna talk about it lmao because yall have already done a great job analyzing it. But I do wanna draw attention to the fact that this is the only thing she says in this whole scene:
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Can you believe that’s what mattered the most to her in that moment? Not that literally everything she had been working for for the past 4 seasons had just turned to dust before her eyes, but the fact that this random mercenary she hired betrayed her. And there was no anger at all, just... heartbreak.
And then look at what she says to Glimmer afterwards (setting aside the fact that Catra is basically giving up on life...) she says nothing about the war, nothing about winning or revenge. The only thing she’s thinking about is how lonely she feels.
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So by the end of Season 4, I think Catra did finally figure out what she truly wanted in life. She didn’t want to be on top just for power’s sake, she wanted people to respect her, to love her, so that no one could hurt her anymore. But she was so obsessed with winning that she ended up losing everyone’s respect. Wow haha if only she could get a second chance to earn it back the right way.... like say if, idk, she was trapped in space jail and forced to team up with her sworn enemy to survive and they came out best friends or something <:)
To sum up, Double Trouble’s role in Season 4 was to break Catra’s mask and force her to consider what she truly wants. I think their betrayal taught Catra to really appreciate what a terrible mistake she made in pushing Scorpia and Adora away. It taught her the difference between someone leaving her because they don’t care about her, and someone cutting ties with her even though they do care for her very deeply, they just couldn’t take Catra treating them like crap anymore. It showed her that what Adora did was nothing like what DT did. That’s what a betrayal feels like when the person doesn’t care about you. Someone who doesn’t care about you isn’t going to beg for your forgiveness for 3 seasons and risk being obliterated from existence just to get you back.
But the real beauty of season 4 was how Catra hitting rock bottom had almost nothing to do with Adora. With the help of other friends Catra has begun to find her own reasons to change, she’s acknowledging her guilt and heartbreak and discovering the person she wants to become. She’s learning to take responsibility instead of just blaming other people. And this character development had nothing to do with romance, just like how Adora breaking free of her destiny and learning to let go of control had little to do with Catra. I love the different perspectives on love that they give us with Catra, Adora, and Scorpia. I love how this show takes the “love conquers all” trope and subverts it, saying that sometimes.. love breaks you. Sometimes it’s not enough. Sometimes it’s used as a weapon. Sometimes you have to let go of people you love, but it opens up space for you to figure out who you are and what you want and to conquer your own demons. You’ll come out the other side with a better understanding of what real, healthy love is supposed to look like. And maybe in the end, the love you always sought will find you again, in its own time, in its own way. 💘
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misterbitches · 3 years
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wbl has mitigating circumstances that make sense wITHIN the story. non consensuality isn’t ok but there’s a foundation we see which, yes, is majorly failed in other tv shows. there are other ways to show whattever it is they feel like it (i watched the end of ep 2, im just too fuckin depressed rn to even think) but it’s intersting the cruelty exists not in A vacuum but the world with WBL creates where we can see that stark difference. something many BLs and shows in gen like kdramas or teen or new adult (essentially every youthfoul show cos exploitation and creator not caring) understand. TT is  a prime example of how it just doesn’t make sense these types of relationships unless there’s a solid enough foundation and at least a mild understanding of the inappropriateness.
right now, the toxicity is born out of like actual conflict. wer i  in in this situation, would i do any of that? no. in fact i’d beat anyone’s ass for ever manhandling me that way. i  want to itereate here emphasis none of this behavior is ok. since it is a tv show, they have more control and could ostensibly  have not written that. however, it’s okay for a show to flub that message, make us uncomfortable, or even truly fuck up the way we think it’s fucked up. i do NOT advise this to be a plan. HOWEVER: PEOPLE DO MAKE MISTAKES. the reddest flag of all is: ARE THEY WILLING TO CHANGE? if they are not, they do NOT deserve to be together.
which mbrings me here. theyre giving us a reason why.
the program gives itself the space and the foreground for it to be a story that isnt fuocused on how much they fuck and fight. ergo these behaviours cannot be repeated bc theyre in this instance. so many viewers of everything say people expect media to be perfect. no. we dont. it’s impossible and we live in a trash disgusting racist capitaist garbage hellfire. what you mean is you want to see people make mistakes but ultimately transgress them and sometimes people just do shit we wouldn’t forgive, or is  messed up, or the writers need to make DAMN FUCKING SURE is clear. 
but unlike most shows esp targeted for young teens both het and BL, thte consequences of love or what love means to young people is so skewed and poorly done because it’s by people who AREN’T that age, don’t know howhumans work, shit like that. i mean u can just tell by the acting even as sam is really goof and most experienced but has a real whole life outside of this persona, a girlfriend, goals of acting probably; showing what it’s like to be human in a way but not a projection of human fantasy through rape culture.
we like to see dysfunction for two reasons: as a way to get out of it or as a redemption arc
but for people who are making cheap shows for kids who don’t need to think about it it’s like: shitty execution, gross love, and no context for why they should even CONTINUE to stay together on top of the harm 
wbl is far from perfect like any other show  but it’s wil what happens when intentions are clear when you show them and so it’s easier for all of us to process. not to mention they built this story through blocks, the way one is supposed to, the relationship of the two of them when they hadn’t been intimate is very different from now 
GSD has to tell the truth, SY has to grow up, rich ppl suck. but it’s a good ride
as an aside is sam lin’s gf cute i hope so but like in a fun way idc abt model bitches it’s so obvious when men do that lmaoooooo but omg! i hope hes happy and also he and mr yu stay friends fro a long time!
oh and i wanna add that GSD’s life revolving around his love for shi yu is actually untrue. it’s a projectiona nd i think the illusion of that projection is brokena nd that’s a good thing. the show sets up an ensemble cast we vibe with, want to see, appreciate, and that means GSD has friends and loves. his life revolves aruond him and the way he sees the romance but he would have never let his mom go to the US by himself and i really hope the show explores why it is IMPERATIVE for him to find his own personhood and not just take care of others. 
his mom would want him to love every bit of his life. all consuming love is so beautiful but it’s only beautiful when you realize you have to survive to love someone so well. and when you survive and understand yourself, your loved ones feel it. they’re very reliable as a group friends and a people and shi de is and will always be a human outside of yu. he has to understand that. it was nice to see his anger at being played too cos it’s like yea that’s fucking disgusting and it hurts and kills you
i’m going to continue to assess the volatility within the story and its progression as much as i can if i can handle being online. this show really exceeds a lot of expectations and mostly i think i forget....it’s actually fun. i was so happy to see the way the dad came into the room in the morning bc i think that was so sweet and hopefully is an indicator of why he said to do what he did. unfortunately homophobic or not: he fucked up. majorly. as a parent, a confideant, a loved one. you do not do that. i am sorry. but they can bounce back. but that’s a lot of pain, ok? 
also i hate rich ppl did i mention that
oh one more thing idk if they had sex but dramas love to do the whole drunk ppl fucking thing and it’s fucking disgusting and will always be :)
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zukoshotleafjuice · 3 years
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The funniest thing about june teasing katara and zuko about being a couple is that she just sees a pretty girl and an attractive guy, both looking almost the same age which immediately makes her go "you two must be a couple" and it just reminds me of zvtara shippers, you know what i mean? I'm convinced one of the reasons a lot of ppl ship them is bc of their looks. katara being the female protagonist and also a pretty, smart and powerful girl & zuko, despite not being the male protagonist, being the most attractive guy in the gaang. Boom, a "bomb ass ship". It is worth to recall that "people ship zutara bc they projected onto katara and had a crush on zuko". And if they say they don't ship them for that reason, then it's bc they read too much between the lines in every interaction they have. So, back to june, she didn't even care if they had chemistry or if they were friends or anything, she just straight up teased them about being a couple lmao. Because in all honesty zvtara can be an appealing ship in anyone's eyes but THAT'S IT, it doesn't go further than that. I can be testimony of that😅Before even watching the show i was like june, one day i saw a zk fanart and was like "wow aren't those zuko and katara from atla? They look so good, she's gorgeous and he's hot" i already knew kataang was endgame and that mai was zuko's love interest but seeing zuko and katara together was pleasing to my eyes. However once i watched the show for the first time (2 months ago i think) i realized there was really no romantic chemistry between them, nothing, literally nothing, i mean, i wasn't even waiting for the zvtara content in the show that made ppl ship them so much, i was actually very neutral about ships, i couldn't care less about them, but i still realized nothing was happenig between them and that it was obvious since book 1 ep 1 that kataang was endgame. Zuko and katara were two teenagers from opposite sides of a war that tried to kill each other multiple times and when zuko changed sides they developed a completely platonic relationship. As i said, people either ship them because it's an appealing and aesthetically pleasing ship (water/fire, enemies to lovers, opposites attract, the common red & blue ship) or they just love reading too much between the lines, OR BOTH, because they were so thirsty about it they ended up convincing themselves there was romantic tension between them, that they liked each other and that zvtara was scrapped when it was never planned in the first place. Not to mention the reasons why they claim zvtara should've been endgame are based only on symbolism and things they have in common that are just so ??? Random. e.g. (i saw these on a post on facebook and the comment section was hilarious, it was full of ppl being sarcastic about it & making fun of it) saying they should've been canon bc:
1. "They both lost their mothers at a young age" (?)
2. "katara was good but had rage in her heart and zuko was bad but had good in his heart so it was like yin and yang, and that was the main purpose/topic of the show" (?)
3. "they both had alter egos (painted lady and blue spirit)" (???) this one sounds like saying maiko was canon bc zuko worked in a tea shop and mai worked in a flower shop😂
4. "Zuko was the only one who supported katara in taking revenge on her mom's assassin" (?) if you ask me, that just proves zuko is not right for katara, he led her to do something she was gonna regret later (not trying to hate on zuko, i love him, and since i love him i acknowledge his flaws. I understand why he thought it was the best thing to do, he's an impulsive and resentful boy (he would've done the same if it was his mom) and he noticed how thirsty katara was for revenge, ofc he wanted to help her + he wanted her to accept him and thought it was the right thing to do in order to gain her trust, but it wasn't) unlike zuko, aang tried to make katara come to her senses and do the thing that was best for her: forgive and let go, and it was basically what she did at the end. She didn't do what zuko expected her to do. She did what aang expected her to do. She didn't forgive her mom's assassin, but she forgave zuko, and she didn't do THAT thing she (and aang) knew would regret later. Aang knew katara and what was the best thing for her to do.
5. and the most ridiculous one, "they both saved each other's lives in the final agni kai"(???????) and the funniest part is that it was followed by "WHAT MORE PROOFS DO YOU WANT???". Honestly wtf did ppl expect? Did they expect zuko to stand there and watch katara die? Did they expect katara to just stand there and watch zuko lay on the floor & die? And this has been said a million times and i am going to join and say it once again: zuko would've done that for ANYONE from the gaang, he would've done the same for toph, sokka, suki and aang. Because he learned to care about them. As for katara, she would've done that for anyone too wtf she healed aang once too and even brought him back to life. (I wouldn't be surprised if zk shippers used that as a parallel for romantic zvtara proof bc they're just like that💀)
There were more "reasons" but they're just so stupid and taken out of context like "they care for each other" & "katara was the one who encouraged him to talk to his uncle" like yeah that's what friends do. Basically all zvtara shippers do is REACH.
Also, i just can't see it happening. I like the enemies to lovers trope, maybe if the writers really intended to make it canon, i would have been down for the ship, it would've been interesting to see how it developed, but,, they didn't, and later i came to the realization that if it would've really happened, it would've been so... weird. Time to bring up the "colonized and colonizer ship" and how some ppl feel uncomfortable about it. Besides the fact that a relationship between zuko and katara wouldn't have worked (they're incompatible af, katara is a girl with a strong character and zuko is a guy with anger issues that takes everything personal, they'd be at each other's throats 99% of the time) it's just weird to think that katara would choose to marry a man from the fire nation, the nation that caused a big war that traumatized her, the nation that took her mother away from her. Imagine katara ruling along with zuko a nation she despised for years. Fire lady katara doesn't sit right with me, and i'm sure it doesn't sit right with a lot of ppl as well. I don't see katara doing that, and yes, i know she forgave zuko, but still, she would've never done that 🤦🏽‍♀️ i think it would've been so OOC tbh.
Another thing i laugh my ass off at is when they say "zuko should've chosen katara instead of mai" as if they were ever in a relationship for zuko to say "ok imma choose katara i wanna be with her". As if katara was EVER an option for him. They never showed interest in each other, what's not clicking?????? And zuko only had eyes for mai, not to mention that despite zuko and mai had a rough relationship, no girl would've dealed with zuko's bs better than mai. Can you imagine katara dealing with zuko blowing up over everything? Because i can't. Also people saying things like "zuko deserves someone who is always there for him and listens to him" (and ofc they're talking about katara) like, ok, you hate that katara is aang's "therapist" but you want her to be zuko's therapist. Logic? Where? And I do remember mai being a supportive gf and trying to cheer him up multiple times. Did they watch the same show as me?
Zvtarians try to play the victims about how they were "robbed" bc some voice actors shipped them and from what i've read people who worked for the show suggested to go for zk, but that's stupid, it doesn't count as "they planned it but scrapped it, we were robbed". The only word that counts are the creators' voice and they have stated they were always rooting for kataang, so no, you were not robbed.
People are just so in love with the idea of zuko and katara together they really convinced themselves it was likely to happen. Honestly zvtara it's a fine ship as fanon but ppl ruined it for me and what i hate the most is when they ship it and hate on aang and mai at the same time and make them look SO bad to invalidate kataang and maiko. Saying aang is abusive and mai is toxic is complete ✨bullshit✨ and lastly, it's ridiculous when they say the creators were cowards for not making it canon. They're cowards for not fulfilling your greatest childhood wish? Something they never planned? It is THEIR show. If you hate sm how things turned out then quit atla once and for all and go find another show that you know is gonna give you what you expect,,, it's tiring that they've been crying about it for 15 yrs , like, i joined the fandom recently but i can imagine how tired old atla fans must be of this.
OK so I have a lot of thoughts about this and firstly,,,anon I appreciate the dedication that it took for you to write  this, and I agree with many of your points. However, the attitude I have on this blog towards Avatar ships is far more neutral than what you’re saying.
Ultimately, romance is not and never was the focus of Avatar. Romantic development was always secondary or tertiary plot, and the entire show was far more focused on platonic relationship development. My attitude towards shippers on here - including Zutara shippers - is that people can ship what they want, as long as they’re respectful of each other and of the other characters that “interfere” with their ship. End of the day, shipping is irrelevant to the core of the show. 
People shipping something because they find it aesthetically appealing is honestly,,,fine. Personally, I think it’s reductionist, but I don’t care if you do because everyone has the right to enjoy media however they want to. 
That being said, we absolutely should call out racist or problematic tropes that we see, including ‘fire lady katara”. I also agree that it’s upsetting when people bash other characters in order to further their ship, as much of the bashing is also pretty racist and/or misogynistic. Calling that out, however, is separate from calling out every single person who happens to enjoy certain ships. 
“She didn't do what zuko expected her to do. She did what aang expected her to do. She didn't forgive her mom's assassin, but she forgave zuko, and she didn't do THAT thing she (and aang) knew would regret later. Aang knew katara and what was the best thing for her to do.”
I understand where you’re coming from, but I honestly disagree with this take. Both Aang and Zuko were approaching the situations from their own life experiences, but Katara didn’t do what either of the boys wanted. She chose her own path, by both sparing Yon Rha’s life but also refusing to forgive him. The episode is about Katara and her personal trauma and its focus should not be on her relationships with either Zuko or Aang. 
When I make posts such as this, it’s less about hating Z*tara and more about how this fandom focuses all its attention on romance and shipping, to the point where if you acknowledge a relationship’s importance it’s assumed you pair the two romantically. I don’t read Zuko and Katara’s relationship as romantic (for reasons that it would take too long to explain here), but their relationship development is extremely important, the two of them share tons of parallels and the final Agni Kai marks the culmination of both of their character arcs. Yes, Zuko would have taken the lightning for any of the characters, but it’s thematically important that it was Katara. None of this inherently means it’s romantic, but refusing to acknowledge the significance of the relationship between them is equally reductionist. 
This isn’t an attack on you, anon, and you’re 100% allowed to have negative feelings about a ship. But at the end of the day, it’s not worth getting this worked up over. If I were you I’d focus more on creating/consuming content for a ship you like than bashing ships you don’t!
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lowkeysebastianstan · 5 years
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let’s talk about basic screenwriting rules and a little thing called chekov’s gun, or planting and payoff.
let me begin by saying that i do not object to sam being captain america, i do think he was the better choice, it’s a big step for representation and both sam and mackie deserve both that and more (crossing my fingers they actually do him justice, but whatever.) with that out of the way, let’s talk screenwriting. 
okay. so christopher markus and stephen mcfeely have graced us with the scripts for all the movies which feature bucky, and sam for that matter. if we disregard post-credit scenes and cameos, those films are ca: tfa, ca: tws, ca: cw, a: iw and a: eg. (in addition does sam feature in a: ou, but tbh i’ve not seen that in so long i cannot really remember how much he’s in it. it doesn’t really matter, let’s move on.)
now, when telling a coherent story, it’s important to keep track of all plot threads, to make them weave in and out, and to focus on what helps you tell the story
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there are many ways to do this, but cinema, as an extremely contained type of media is particularly dependant on using every prop or setpiece consciously, and there are some guidelines or rules that make it easier
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that helps the screenwriters and the directors to decide what to include in any given scene, what to emphasise, what to steer the audience’s attention towards
this specific rule is called chekov’s gun, or planting and payoff
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it’s named for anton chekov, a russian playwright and short-story writer, who is considered to be among the greatest writers of short fiction in history
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who said: “If, in the first chapter, you say there is a gun hanging on the wall, you should make quite sure that it is going to be used further on in the story." 
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so it’s a rule where information, in form of clues or objects, are given early on, then brought back later. this is also known as foreshadowing
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the way it works is that you introduce an object, a word, an image, something that later in the story will be of significance   
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then, depending on the amount of time that passes, you either need a reminder
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or you don’t
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but either way it will give the story a thread that can be followed, sometimes discreetly, sometimes obvious, but that (almost) always results in a natural and rewarding conclusion
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it’s the most common way to avoid a “deus ex machina”, aka, a contrived plot device, where the outcome seems unearned and to come out of nowhere (yes, i know sam becomes cap in the comics, that will be addressed further down)
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now, again, i have to repeat, i totally agree with the decision to make sam captain america, that is not the point
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the point is neither that “ooohhh some of those are from a trailer and a deleted scene, and besides it doesn’t matter bc bucky didn’t pick up the shield in endgame anyway, so”
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the point is, however, that the mcu is a contained story that culminated with avengers endgame in 2019. the part of this story that involves captain america, is 100% written, and 80% directed by the same creators, markus and mcfeely, and the russo brothers.
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and so one might ask then, when the same people have been in complete control of a cohesive franchise, when they apparently are experienced and celebrated in their field, when they have proven, on occasion, that they are capable in their craft, or, at the very least, not likely to make such a basic mistake as to plant and remind again and again, that one character will pick up the mantle and then at the last second give it to the other.
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when they write a character to be tortured and abused, that have never done anything villainous when in control of their own mind, and then claim
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“Both of them have picked up [the shield] in the comics; Bucky and Sam. But, when you look back at “The First Avenger” and realize why he was chosen to be the first super soldier, it’s about a certain purity at heart and a certain inner heroism. It’s pretty hard to give it to Bucky. As much as we love him, he is on the dark path and is recovering from that. Sam really is a truly stand up guy. It wasn’t a wildly difficult choice, certainly. I think Bucky has a lot more story as Bucky and as someone headed on a path of atonement. And Sam has ascended into this new role.“
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so yeah. it was never about whether or not sam deserves it, that he’s in any way the lesser choice. it’s about how the creators of this franchise had an outlined story, had character arcs decided and then saw that they had, inadvertently or not, created a story with connotations they didn’t dare pursue. so instead of actually following through on their own premise, they pulled away at the end to avert attention from their mistake and seemingly forgot what story they had begun to tell. 
to plant an idea so blatantly as they did when it came to bucky and the shield, knowing that, even if not all, a lot of fans would know about bucky taking the mantle in the comics and then give it to sam, who, even though he also gets it in the comics, hasn’t been set up in that way at all in the mcu. 
again, and i cannot stress this enough lest y’all pull out your pitchforks and have at me, this is not about sam. this is only about markus, mcfeely and joe and anthony russo being bad storytellers that cannot keep to one of the most basic principles in movie making 101 and because of that delivered a crap product. in many more ways than this, but since i felt like wasting a couple of hours, this is what i used as an example. 
as a last note, not only does sam deserve it and is the better choice both in-universe and out, mackie deserves it, no doubt about that. it’s comic canon, just as much as bucky, (although bucky gets it first, just sayin), and it’s a very important stride towards more diversity and representation in the mcu. i support it 100%.
even so, i have to admit, that not only did sebastian also deserve it, but that he’s been kinda screwed over by marvel, the plants weren’t only for bucky, but also for him.
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“They sure like to dangle a cheese in front of my nose a lot,” Sebastian Stan said during the Winter Soldier press tour. “They're like 'Oh yeah, that's where you pick up the shield,' and I'm like, 'Yeah, I've heard that one before. There it is again.'” 
In 2016, Stan told Nerdist: “You know, I was sitting there in a room with [Marvel] and basically they were saying to me that this is what’s gonna happen: He’s gonna be the Winter Soldier, and then eventually he’s gonna become Captain America.
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imsebastianstan "Excuse me...where's the restroom?" A big thank you and shout out to Casey McBroom shield_labs for making this for me. Will come in handy... #wintersoldier #marvel 
Nov. 28 2016.
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incarnateirony · 4 years
Note
You didn't ship Destiel until S13!? That really took me by surprise! In that case, thank you for defending the ship even if you didn't ship it, that's really nice and your meta made it easier to deal with the antis. And welcome to the Destiel side of the force! :)
Yeah, several people -- @dotthings off the top of my head, I really don’t remember who else -- literally witnessed the screaming fall into the dumpster.
Again, I really don’t know if I still consider what I do ~shipping.~ I have no specific demands for how their relationship continues from here, I just acknowledge it within the work. The difference that hit in S13 was welcoming that content instead of guarding myself against it because we got slammed with several consecutive bookends that completed an entire romantic arc and punctuated it with a far more impacting mirror of an endgame that didn’t even have said romantic arc to begin with, in Swan Song, so like??? what am I supposed to do? Just ignore it? Act like I can’t understand what just happened in front of me?
To put some perspective, I’ve been running SPN games for... a while. My most recent one was on a discord server that’s niche, but my prior one was on a giant multifandom server. I covered for Cas to keep his power levels in check to the story balance without like, making the humans irrelevant. My Dean at the time was hardcore shipping trash. His name was Chris, he was a bisexual dude in Chile, psychologist, good dude. But like??? it deadass annoyed me? How up Cas’ ass his writing was? The shippers that came in actually kinda annoyed me with trying to matchmaker them in game??? Like. I saw it, but I guess it’s the old “That’s not what the show is about” (which unlike how fandom whips it around, doesn’t mean it can’t exist at all, it’s the obsessive tunnel visioned focus that pissed me off because it kept railroading scenes)
But despite that, during and before it, I was yeah, defending it. Just because I wasn’t an active ~shipper~ didn’t mean I was cool with people stomping on people for very reasonably seeing the stuff my last post mentioned. I just kinda kept myself from investing because I know this old media song and dance too well and didn’t expect it to break, say, S10 levels. And then 11 happened. And then 12. And then--
Because no matter what this fandom says, Castiel’s alien mystified staring at Dean, while great chemistry in old seasons, does not actually compare to things like frequent lunch dates, need and love yous, mixtapes, Eileen being Sam’s Cas in 15.09 and so on. In the actual, not-head-up-ass-about-old-rewritten-content-meta’ed-15-times-over often fused to really bad hot takes on what people call queer coding. But I could respect that, say, the ramifications of swapping Cas and Anna roles to keep Misha around while Julie was bouncing out and getting uncomfortable naturally landed Cas in the hero’s journey goddess role, ala princess Leia if you will, the distressing warrior nondamsel rebelling against the empire and whatnot. But that doesn’t start or end at star wars, that’s thousands of years of human writing.
So while yes, the show heavily stripped the actual content that would have traditionally structured it romantic, people like seeing that x their chemistry early on-- not crazy.
And I defended it for years /to my wife/ despite my server vexations. On this giant dozens-of-thousands-of-users multifandom server not connected to any core fandom spaces and hosting innumerable fandoms and walks of life, I was the oddball out -- me. As a nonshipper annoyed by the crowd, often having 20-30 people logged into my channel at a time playing everything from early Cain to Benny to TFW to Wayward to *throws dart at board* whatever, of the hundreds of names that drifted through the game in sum (including player rotations, OCs and audience that just came to watch/read like a fic), you know how many antis we had?
Three.
One was my wife. so removing her, two.
Do you know how many shippers there were? 
Yeah neither do I, just, “pretty much all of them.” a few hung in “see it, don’t care, moderately annoyed” like I did. But this idea that the GA is a bunch of het-guzzling bozos that can’t do the same basic math all of you fucking did before you got here, just because some other dead-ass irrelevant ship composed entirely on leftfield interpretations to validate niche fandom ships -- that shit’s so far fucking divorced from goddamn reality.
As for my wife, yes. She was an anti. In fact long before I wandered into fandom social media (I think I actually jumped in around S12 bc I saw Dabb taking over and Bobo getting promoted and was interested in Yockey-- Yockey was the first person I tweeted at), I was on these servers, running these games, having these ARGUMENTS with my wife to be quite honest, because like, look, I get it, Destiel fandom can be weird and needy and over the top but they’re not crazy for what they see out of it. By Carver era it was classic subtext.
But she had followed Winbros for years not realizing it’s literally run by the real world becky and her BFFs that have tasteful POVs like “Misha Collins is cancer” “Dabb is a disease” and whatever else on their personals that proxy through their posts and motivations. She attended it on Facebook, which is THE goddamn conservative magafarm asshole platform and yeah, read a lot of shitty arguments. Yes, she picked up sayings like “it ruins the show”. Yes, she hated it. No, that didn’t mean I felt anyone deserved more than mild frustration for their behaviors at the time just because they were stuck in fanfic-shipping-fiction-over-romanticised-land and not canon-divergent-show-genre-complex-interpersonal-relationships fiction. 
She, too, cracked about the same time I did. I was more receptive sure, I saw it more sure, but after a mix of addressing some personal problems, making an OC that completely changed how her perception filtered Dean and Castiel working together, whatever-- and yes, 12.19->13.5. The night of 13.5, the final shot, as the screen went dark, she stared over her phone and, with tonal distaste, said “Oh. So they’re going there.”
Yes, it’s that fucking obvious. No, she didn’t admit that’s what did her in. Not until the end of the season, when she admitted she had been bullshitting arguments since early season 13 because, literally, and I quote, “otherwise Min wins.” -- which, if that comes by way of my own wife, I can only stare into the fandom camera at other people that have turned this show into a decade long money sink and have been divorced from the actual canon path for like minimum 3 years, maybe 6, yelling about it being wrong all the time, etc. Because on the internet, people convince themselves they have ownership and power, that their opinion of what the piece should be overrides even the creators, et cetera. Yeah. There’s a lot of disingenuous horse shit.
TLDR my wife fell into the dumpster and, as the flag of the end of our weird spats, and a birthday present, I made her this, since she IDs as Dean (OLD vid, has hiccup issues newer ones don’t)
youtube
So, yup, dat me.
To this day I still don’t read fanfics or browse fanart or any of that. I’ve never cared about that face of the fandom. I’ve never cared about making up rando ships, I’ve never cared about exactly how any given relationship plays itself out, I just enjoy the ride and address it as it does indeed play out. Most shipping culture still pisses me the fuck off with its dialogue, as I’ve made very clear. But because I’m acknowledging the text instead of denying what keeps happening more centrally and critically every year on screen, I’d be called a shipper. Because I’m tired of watching people spew logic even most children could pick apart in an endless roundabout of negativity, because I have no tolerance for absolute horse shit and fandom whining so I just lay out counters to bad talking points, I’d be called a shipper.
But 13.5ish is when I finally let myself start emotionally receiving the content rather than barring it off in a distant wall of exhausted old gay that knows their media too well. Why? Because it already completed and went above and beyond every element of the original way they painted the original goddamn endgame and I guess because I won’t set unfair bars against queer relationships and set them at Extra Hard Difficulty, I’m a shipper. IDK. This fandom fucking exhausts me. Fandom culture in general exhausts me.
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pftones3482 · 5 years
Text
No Good Nick Week Compilation
I genuinely didn’t know about this until last night so here I am, pulling up late, to fill out these prompts because God Dammit I love this show and I want everyone to watch it. 
Day One: Favorite Character
Is it not obvious? I love Jeremy. His arc was the most profound out of almost everyone, save for maybe Nick, and he’s such an enjoyable character. Kalama did a really good job bringing him to life. My close second is tied between Nick and Liz. 
Day Two: Favorite Episode
I have two (shocking, I know)
Part Two, Episode Two: The Big Mitt. Going back after Jeremy comes out to rewatch it is super fucking cute because you pick up on all the little flirting moments between him and Eric that you probably brushed off at first. 
Part Two, Episode Ten: The Fools Errand. I really love the little cooking scene between the Thompson’s, Jeremy’s very casual coming out to his father that’s accepted in such a simple gesture, Nick’s double cross...it’s such a good season finale. 
Day Three: Favorite Relationship
I’m gonna split this between the two parts, just because my opinion changed dramatically.
Part One: Liz and Ed, actually. I think they’re a really good portrayal of a healthy hetero couple. They tease each other, of course, and there is that trope of “nagging mom, chill dad,” but they each have their own moments that counter that trope. They work together really well as parents (chore auction aside), and are continuously supportive of one another even when they don’t agree with each other.
Part Two: Jeremy and Nick. Their relationship has progressed so much over the show, and I just love the softness that develops after Jeremy’s accidental coming out. It started with the boba drink scene in part one (the only mistake of this show is saying boba is gross, bc excuse you boba tea is DELICIOUS), but it continued on until they just felt like a regular brother/sister duo.
Day Four: Favorite Storyline/Arc
Jeremy’s coming out, obviously. I liked that it wasn’t his whole character, that he wasn’t ashamed of it, how supportive his whole family was. 
My second choice would probably be Molly’s development with the Volunteer Squad. I think it was very important for her to realize that, while the squad might have been mean to her, she was being equally mean to them. Sometimes it’s hard to admit or even realize that you’re the one being the bad friend, and it’s so important that TV shows that. Too often we see that the kids were always in the right, or they’re so cartoonishly mean it’s obvious. But Molly’s arc with them was spot on to how I think a lot of fights in friend groups go down. I’m excited to see where this revelation takes her as a character. 
Day Five: Favorite Quote
“It’s not that I’m embarrassed. I just want it to be on my terms. For me. When I’m ready.” 
An impactful line that I think almost all LGBT+ people can relate to. 
Day Six: Most Shocking Moment 
Funny enough, for me it was the moment Nick saw Jeremy and Will kissing. I’m so used to not having representation in children’s media that I wasn’t expecting even a mention of a gay character, let alone a KISS between two guys, one of whom is a MAIN CHARACTER. It came out of nowhere so fast that I had to actually pause the show and freak out. 
Second goes to Nick absolutely decking Jeremy in part one. 
Day Seven: What You’d Love to See in Another Season of NGN
I’m interested to see how Nick settles back in to things like school and family life, as well as how the family reacts to her now that they know all. 
I’m most interested in seeing if Liz and Ed interact with Nick’s father at all. That could end...not well, that’s for sure. And I also would really like to see Riley come back into Nick’s life - I think she was a good friend for Nick, and I love her character, though we only got her for a brief time. 
Strangely enough, I think Nick and Jeremy’s relationship will probably remain the strongest for the first few episodes, closely followed by Nick and Liz (ironic, given that Liz and Jeremy were the two that took the longest to come around to the idea of Nick in the first place). 
I’m ecstatic to see what the creators have in store for us, and I am hoping beyond hope that we can get a second season. 
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antiadvil · 5 years
Text
We’re Getting Married!
PG13, 2.8k
video title: We’re Getting Married! uploaded: December 8, 2019 by AmazingPhil Description: We talk about our relationship with each other, our audience, and appropriate creator/audience boundaries. Sorry we couldn’t find a wedding venue that would fit three million people!
read more or read on ao3
A/N: *** indicates a jump cut. this is filmed in Phil’s bedroom bc in an imagined universe with joint content I can fulfill all my nostalgic fantasies oh also warning for discussion of the vday video if you're not into that
“Hey guys! Today I’m here with a very special surprise guest-”
Dan’s voice interrupted Phil from off camera. "Are you not going to put me in the thumbnail?"
Phil laughed. "I mean, probably."
"So I'm not much of a surprise."
"I guess not. Anyway, we have a special announcement-"
"Phil. They read the title. Why do your video intros always assume no one reads your titles?"
"Hey! I haven't decided what I’m going to title it yet."
Dan came into frame and flopped onto the bed with him. "Sure you haven't. You know exactly what will get this video the maximum number of clicks, you goddamn-"
Phil threw his hand over Dan’s mouth. “Stop.”
He yanked it back almost immediately. “Did you just lick me?”
Dan smiled. “Maybe.”
“You’re disgusting. I’m going to go wash my hands with bleach,” Phil said, climbing off of his bed.
“Can you bring me a glass of water?” Dan called after him. “I’m thirsty.”
Phil called something back. It was entirely bleeped out.
***
“Count of three,” Phil said. “One, two, three-”
“We’re getting married!” Dan’s normally large hand gestures were carefully constrained by the glass of water in his right hand.
“Some of you are probably confused-” Phil said.
“Some of you are probably hyperventilating,” Dan interrupted, “And I’d like to say that while you’re valid, get a life that is not vicariously lived through our relationship. Please.”
“So let’s do a bit of background first,” Phil finished. “So I think most of you who follow us know that Dan and I met on the internet in 2009 and then we met up later the same year, which is when we filmed the first Phil is not on fire.”
“What you probably know if you watched my coming out video is that the whole time, we were super gay for each other,” Dan added. “What I didn’t really get into is that we’re still super gay for each other.”
“Wait, we are?”
Dan shrugged, setting his water on Phil’s nightstand. “I mean, I’m still super gay for you.”
Phil frowned. “I don’t know if I’d describe it that way.”
“Well, this is awkward,” Dan muttered.
“Anyway, we’ve been dating ever since then, and we thought we’d give a quick little recap of our relationship for those of you who just got here. So, I already mentioned that we met in 2009-”
“Obligatory disclaimer, we don’t endorse travelling a hundred and fifty miles to meet a guy who’s four years older than you that you met on the internet, even if you were the one who stalked him first.”
“Hey!” Phil laughed.
“But anyway,” Dan continued, “Phil and I met in a public place before going to his house and it turned out he wasn’t an axe murderer, so everything was fine.”
“What would you have done if I was?” Phil asked.
“You know, that’s a really great question. I maybe should have thought a little bit more about that.”
“So, we’re not even five minutes into the video and the biggest takeaway is that you should never have come to meet me?”
Dan nodded. “Our entire relationship was a mistake. I’m sorry, everyone, time to go home.”
“So poor life choices aside, we met in 2009, filmed Phil is not on fire, and just generally hung out a lot.”
“Hung out is one word for what we spent most of our time doing, but since this is Phil’s channel, let’s leave it at that.” Dan winked.
“Hey!”
Dan rolled his eyes. “Look me in the eye and tell me that is not what we spent most of our time together doing.”
“That is not what we spent most of our time doing.”
“Okay then, if you say so-”
“I do-” Phil insisted.
“Then we’ll leave it at that. We visited a lot, but, full disclosure, long distance sucks, which was a big factor in my decision to attend uni in Manchester. You probably already know how that went down.” Dan rolled his eyes.
“Apart from the uni part, though, it was really nice being so close by, so we moved in together in 2011.”
“And then there was what you will probably know as the Valentine’s day video,” Dan said with a grimace.
“Dan and I don’t really feel comfortable discussing the details of that whole thing because that video was very personal to us.”
Dan smiled in Phil’s direction. “I still have a copy.”
“But seriously, if you’re not me or Dan, I’d really appreciate it if you’d remove any copies you’ve posted on the internet and delete any copies you may have saved, out of respect for our privacy.”
“Believe me, I know nothing I can say will make that video disappear. My entire life is just proof that anything you put on the internet is permanent. And there’s nothing anyone can do about it now, but I want people to understand that all the speculation about my sexuality that came up when that video resurfaced really hurt me. Don’t do that. Seriously. If you think a celebrity or a YouTuber or whoever is hiding their sexuality, just let them. You don’t know what’s happening in their lives, and honestly, you’re not entitled to, either.”
Phil nodded. “Also, that was a really hard time for us as a couple as well as personally. I don’t think a lot of people realize the pressure being constantly under a microscope has on a relationship, which is one of the reasons we chose not to share our relationship and why we still don’t feel comfortable sharing everything about it.”
“Which is fine! Neither of us are ashamed of our relationship. We’re not hiding anything. We just aren’t really looking forward to reading newspaper headlines about our relationship, which really doesn’t seem like it should be news. Like, it’s our relationship, not the entire world’s relationship,” Dan explained.
“Really, it seems so weird to us that people even care about it. Like, it’s flattering and all, don’t get me wrong, but it was also a bit scary at first when we weren’t out.”
“It’s like, remember in my coming out video how I mentioned that when that guy said I gave off a bi vibe it really scared me? Having strangers on the internet tell me that my relationship with Phil was obvious was scary when even my parents didn’t know. The shipping was fine. It was mostly the speculation that was scary.”
“But we made it.” Phil put his hand on Dan’s leg and smiled.
Dan smiled back, almost forgetting the camera in the room. “God, there were some days I thought we wouldn’t. But we did. And I love you.”
Phil smiled even wider and swiped at his eyes.
Dan’s smile grew to a smirk. “Are you crying? Oh my god, you are such a dork.”
“Your mum’s a dork,” Phil muttered.
Dan reached for his phone. “I’m telling her you said that.”
“No!” Phil threw his shoulder into Dan’s chest, sending him sprawling against Phil’s bed.
Dan laughed. “Ow. Hey, Siri, call Mu-”
Phil put his hand over Dan’s mouth. “Stop.”
Dan’s phone chirped from the other side of the bed. “Okay. Calling Mum.”
Dan scrambled to reach it. “Oh shit, oh fuck, should I hang up?”
“Dan! You can’t call your mum and then hang up on her.”
“Shut up, rat, this is your fau- Oh, hey, Mum!”
“Hi!” Phil said.
“Oh, hello, Dan! And Phil. Is everything alright?”
“You need to call your mum more often, Dan, if every time she picks up she asks if something’s wrong,” Phil said.
Dan’s mum laughed. 
“Shut up, Phil. No, Mum, nothing’s wrong, just wanted to catch up.”
***
“So, I’m never jokingly asking Siri to call anyone ever again,” Dan said.
“Why? Was calling your mum that horrible?” Phil laughed.
“Shut up, Phil. That was your fault.” 
“Does your mum watch your videos?” Phil asked.
“Not really.”
“I’m sending her a link to this one.”
“I hate you,” Dan said quietly.
“You too.”
***
"Now, Phil, we've been dating for a pretty long time." 
Phil shrugged. "Only like ten years.”
"So, Phil, why did we wait so long for this?"
Phil nodded. "Well, first of all, it wasn't legal for a pretty long time."
"Right. Civil partnerships were a thing in 2004, but I'm lame and traditional, and same sex marriage was only legalized in 2014. That's half of our relationship, for some perspective."
"And, fun fact," Phil added, "Same sex marriage is still illegal in Northern Ireland."
Dan frowned. "That was not a fun fact. That was a very sad fact."
"But it's a true fact," Phil protested.
"Moving on, again!" Dan said. "I also wanted my family to be there, and, well, I'm a mess who didn't even come out to them until like six months ago."
Phil patted Dan's shoulder comfortingly. "You're not a mess."
Dan stared at the camera. "I'm a mess."
"Okay, fine. You're a little bit of a mess."
Dan turned to Phil in mock outrage. “You think I’m a mess?”
“No! I-”
Dan turned back to the camera. “You heard it here, folks. Phil is judging me because I took my time coming out. Phil hates closeted people.”
Phil glared at him. “I’m never agreeing with you ever again.”
“This relationship is off to a great start!”
***
“So back to the original question! Why now, Dan?”
“Well, Phil, now that I’m out to my family we can have a proper wedding, and now that we’re out to our viewers we don’t have to worry about one of our own personal stalkers finding our marriage records.” 
“Also, marriage does come with a lot of cool perks,” Phil added.
“Gotta get those sweet, sweet tax benefits.”
“And that sweet, sweet, societal recognition of our relationship.”
“Also, it makes buying a house and general joint property ownership way simpler, which will make it a lot easier to take all of Phil’s subscribers in the inevitable divorce.”
Phil laughed. “What?”
Dan blinked. “Sorry, I didn’t say anything. Did you hear something?”
“Well, I thought I heard you say you were going to divorce me and take my subscribers.”
Dan shook his head, his expression deeply offended. “Why would I say that? Who would do such a thing?”
Phil stared solemnly at the camera. “Gaslighting is a form of abuse.”
“Thank you for the PSA, Phil.”
“Just documenting the abuse I’m currently suffering under so that I can take all your subscribers in the divorce,” Phil said.
Dan frowned. “Okay, I wasn’t going to say anything, but you sounded really serious just then so I now feel the need to clarify that I am not abusing Phil and also, domestic violence is not funny.”
Phil laughed. “No actual abuse.”
Dan sighed. “We’re terrible people, aren’t we?”
“I mean, we’re not terrible people.”
Dan laughed. “We’re just bad people, with terrible senses of humor. That’s so much better.”
“We can edit it out if-” Phil started.
“I mean, it’s your channel-” Dan said.
They stared at each other for a moment before shrugging in unison. “Whatever,” they said, still in unison.
***
“So, Phil, what’s changing for our viewers?” Dan asked.
“Literally nothing. We’ll be taking a short break from uploading-”
“Which I do all the time! So I doubt you’ll even notice.”
“But we’re not going to change the types of videos we upload. This isn’t a relationship channel.”
Dan winked. “As much as you might want it to be.” 
“Seriously, though. We’re not even changing our names. Nothing’s changing,” Phil assured the camera.
“But in case it wasn’t clear, here are some FAQs.”
Phil pulled out a stack of notecards and put on his best announcer voice. “Are we invited?”
Dan smiled. “No.”
Phil flipped to the next card. “Kiss!”
“That’s not a question, but somehow, the answer is still no.”
Phil laughed. “I think a photo of us kissing would actually break the internet.”
Dan shrugged. “Really, we’re just being kind to your internet providers.”
“Lester-Howell or Howell-Lester?”
“We already answered that, Phil. You really need to screen these questions better, especially since you wrote them.”
“Answer it anyway,” Phil pleaded.
Dan sighed heavily. “Neither. I would never saddle my child with two last names.”
“Child?” Phil turned to the camera with an exaggerated gasp.
Dan smiled. “That’s all you’re getting. Let the fanfiction writing begin.”
Phil paused. “Wait, so whose last name-”
“Honestly, I was just joking because neither of us are changing our names, but if you want to have a Dan versus Phil to see who gets to name our child-”
“I’m good.”
“That’s what I thought.”
Phil turned to the next card. “Wedding photos?”
“Is that a question or a demand? Please don’t hack my hard drive.”
“Top or bottom?”
“There is no way anyone actually thinks we’ll answer that.”
“Probably not.” Phil flipped again. “And last, but definitely not least, why are we telling our viewers?”
“Well, I think it’s safe to say that we’re telling a lot more people than our viewers. But I never had any healthy models for queer relationships when I was a kid, and if I can provide that, I don’t see why not.” Dan’s voice was surprisingly serious.
“Think of us like your parents,” Phil added. “We’re here to show you how healthy relationships work, but we’re not here to show you everything. Partly because we need some privacy and partly because that would be gross.”
Dan was wincing as soon as he heard the word “parents.” “Phil, Phil, please stop. Do not encourage our audience to think of us as their parents. Did you learn nothing from our tumblr tag? Please never say those words again.”
“Fine, I’ll edit them out.”
Dan shook his head. “You said it, Phil. You can’t escape it.”
“Okay, well, at least give another response so I can decide if I want to keep it in,” Phil persuaded, in the soft, natural, voice he normally saved for off camera.
Dan gave an exaggerated sigh. “Honestly, hiding a relationship is just so much work. Especially a marriage. And you guys are total stalkers. Like seriously. Get a life. Please.”
“That’s better! And much more fitting with who our audience is.”
“Phil, I’m the one who gets to insult our fans. You’re the one who says we love them and appreciate them.”
“We do!” Phil insisted.
“Do we?” Dan asked skeptically.
“Yes.” Phil laughed, staring at Dan in disbelief.
“Kidding,” Dan muttered, flashing a smile at the camera. “Please buy my merch.”
Phil sighed. “Danielhowellshop.com?”
Dan smiled. “Also, while you’re at it, check out my good friend Phil’s merch at amazingphilshop.com!”
Phil stared straight at the camera. “I don’t even know where to begin.”
“You know what, we’re such close friends that we also have a joint merch shop, danandphilshop.com. You could begin there, Phil.”
“Is it too early for a divorce?” Phil asked.
“Yes. You’re stuck with me.”
“Am I really?”
“Just think about the tax benefits. Take a deep breath, close your eyes, and remember how much money you’re going to save by marrying me.”
Phil shook his head. “It’s not worth it.”
Dan pouted.
***
“For more videos like this-”
“Phil. We’re never making another video like this again.”
“For more videos not like this, click on my face to subscribe to my channel, click on Dan’s face to subscribe to his channel-”
“I have plans to actually upload a video this year-”
“And for our joint channel, click here.” Phil raised their joined hands.
“Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to edit this video, upload it, and disconnect my internet for at least a month.”
Dan turned to Phil. “That’s not a bad idea, actually. I’m not sure I want to open tumblr for the next six years.”
Phil cringed. “Me neither. Guys, please try not to go too crazy. I lost friends over the protip incident of 2016.”
Dan shuddered. “So many people refuse to talk to us now. I’m not even joking.”
“We appreciate the support!” Phil insisted.
“Just like, maybe on our videos instead of completely random ones,” Dan suggested.
Phil nodded. “Anyway, if you liked this video, please give it a thumbs up, or leave a comment. Like I said, Dan and I will be taking a short break from YouTube and social media for the wedding and honeymoon, but we’ll be back soon with plenty of content.”
“I don’t want to see any of your conspiracy theories about how we’re leaving YouTube out there, I promise it’ll only be like a month.”
“And that’s the normal amount of time between two Dan videos,” Phil interjected, “So-”
“Hey! I said I would upload this year.”
Phil smiled. “Never said you wouldn’t.”
***
“Count of three again?” Dan asked.
Phil nodded. “Three, two, one-”
“Goodbye!”
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laughing-one · 5 years
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It's very simple. Thich Nhat Hanh had it right. And i WAS THERE thinking i should become a monk at 16/17.. ((why i didn't is explained below))
It's all explained below and in the last ten or so posts.
The one i love/d is already enlightened and in action balancing self love and service to others.
Seroquel, (if you don't what it does to ppl you need to talk to me or others who have been on it for lengths of time) broken families/systems, knowing about psychopathic guvmint/military elements.. knowing about/experiencing the inter-density beings (working for wisdom or sepraration) corroborated by several different people in my life yhe universe forced me into meeting.. late stage capitalism, looming ecological collapse and spiritual regeneration and the now overbearing but transforming mental-rational hyper goal oriented and commodity driven spatializing consciousness was just TOO MUCH to deal with!! I snapped! Too much dark age for one person.
And all that i needed and need was to become a monk and meditate a balance between awareness.. cultivation of compassion for others.. and cultivation of awe etc.. and maintain creative integrity..skillsets.. breathing.. gratitude.. and the service to others. That's it. Fuck seroquel. I DID NOT NEED THAT GOD. I didn't have a choice they said i was sick at the hospital KEPT TRYING TO GET ME TO TAKE MEDS OVER AND OVER. So i did i said FINE K OM SAID JOHN IS SICK HES SICK DAD SAYS HE AND HIS SON ARE SICK EVERYONE IS SICK. BULLSHIT all i needed was to stay at the monastery and follow the soul piece that KNEW i should stsy. I was too young and stupid .. stupid bc ibwasnt allowed to know myself to think to create to be trusted enough to trust myself or work for anything worthehile. Just school being tokd how to think in a limited way. FUCK. Rant done.
It's always simple. We know nothing unless we walk the talk and love ourselves and others. That's it. Too much mind. I had this all figured out when i was young and then tripped over the obstacles in my path: family pattern dynamics, capitalism, violence etc.. words and labels.. environments.. same pattern.. and the favoritism of goal oriented mentality that is smothering this culture. All that matters is living in presence everyday, living a life of appreciation, creativity and service while taking time to uncover the programming and stop the mind everyday. Whatever else happens is a bonus not worth pursuing unless from a place of grounded humility or intuited youthful knowing which was never really lost just covered up with the addiction to the deficient aspects of the mental-structure of consicousness.. ie.. too much emphasis on thinking. The alien thing was scary , the end of humanity, and seroquel destroyed my sleep but it's over. What's done is done. Day 30 medi.
Finally get it. I quasi-consciously fulfill this pattern that my father repeated over and over jn front of me. Then loved ones leave bc they witness our fear and frustration from seroquel and becoming aware of the void left by family-self-sociey etc.. the unconsicousness/spiritual rootlessness, then getting lost in intellectualism divorced from beingness. If i'd stayed at the monastery as a 17 year old ((i intuited all this shit then and even wrote about the oneness of religions))and stayed away from home as a teenager i might have realized this sooner and the nightmare could have been avoided but i just didn't know the hate i had in me from goal oriented society and work.. At 8 i intuited and at 15 wrote about all religions being the same but started getting more and more confused by the drama and hate and million perspectives. So important for young ppl to have focus and creative skills not just screens hello.. Just needed someone wise, a craftsman, artist creator, whatever.. to fking talk to and apprentice with..almighty Mary. Me and family (mom) didn't talk (she and therefore I couldn't communicate) and i felt like an invader to buddhism. It's the western condition and now everyone screaming appropriation as they certainly should. But live by the sword and die by the sword if we don't learn forgiveness. The only way and the most effective and compassionate stance. I had no roots..grandfather really fked up our celtic roots for us and my mom was trying to find a different way right.. so no wonder it didn't make sense to me. Very fking confusing for young people in this emerging from the dark ages world.. And i still don't know how i'd prevent a young person like i was going thru all that. Do everything i could to get them to trust their own soul to know what to do. And not steer em any which way but encourage self realization. Thats it. End of story.
I really think i'm done writing. I've figured why i feel the way i felt. Now its just continuing the aperspectival/emptiness meditations and trying to live a happy life after all this madness with the mental illness paradigms and seroquel sleep/metabolic/etc disorders. I can't help anyone unless im fking empowered and creative. What a fked up system the self help sector is. Just feeding off fear. If buddhism wasn't so aversive to rootless westerners thatd be great. And thich nhat hanh was the closest pretty non ritualistic tradition. So close. That was my ticket to a way better life at 15 yesrs old. I seriously thought of being a monk. It scared the shit out of me and seemed dull (plus eastern tradition/fear of being different) but i was wrong about all that. Confronting the abyss is the best power and source of energy/freedom/compassion.
Pretty simple all this. Can't believe it took 31 years to find the same place i was at as an 17 year old but knowing now the importance of it. This it's so obvious. I don't understand why my family never talked and just labeled. I guess we all really were that traumatized. I just didn't fking get it. I thought i had think all this out. It was a trick. I really needed meditation and creative projects/skills. Capitalism and the spiritual void in the west that Gebser, Steiner etc tried to revive. Wow
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