#parenting discourse

[professorbussywinkle]

Some people have kids because they want a slave...

....Think for a second

The obsession with punishment and discipline and "teaching them a lesson" often in brutal, unforgiving ways that don't teach them to follow their internal guide, but to fear your wrath if they do something you might perceive as wrong

The lack of respect for their bodily autonomy, their feelings, and their personhood

Treating everything they do or say like it's beneath consideration or without any value or significance if it does not serve you in some immediate gratifying way

The overemphasis on obedience being a central factor to how much moral worth they have as a human being

Using the provision of basic necessities(food housing, clothing) to justify mistreating them, treating the provision as something that can be withheld if they misbehave or "step out of line"

Believing their child is somehow always up to no good for no certifiable reason, to justify invading their privacy, denying them access to their social circles and means of communication

Publicly shaming or humiliating their child on camera and posting it on the internet in order to get them to behave in the ways you want them to

Soliciting their child's opinion, then yelling at them for disagreeing with you or "talking back". Also ranting at length about things they know their kids disagree with them about until their kid finally reaches a breaking point and says something, at which point, they're horrible combative children for constantly arguing with you

Treating their emotions as frivolous and pointless, or a sign of weakness not to be expressed freely and openly, forcing them to walk on eggshells around you for fear that anything could potentially set you off

Frequently telling them how lucky they are to not be physically abused. also not telling you what made them angry, leaving you not knowing what it was that upset them and them deliberately not telling you when you inquire about it

Using the excuse "I am your parent, so I know what's best for you" in order to force children to do something that is only meant to make the parent feel in control, and not for their child's well-being.

alluding that you are the sole reason why they can’t do whatever the hell they want and wished you didn’t even exist so they can have more freedom. (This one hits close to home for me)

These types of parents get off on this, literally...in an almost pornographic way it would seem, by pushing around, harming, and denigrating someone who's smaller and weaker than them, by exerting power and control over a little human being who is unable or unwilling to fight back against them, all so they can flex their big boy muscles, all so they can prove they have dominion over you and show you that you have no power to do anything about it, and then deluding themselves about how it's all about "discipline" or "teaching" so they don't feel bad about it

Does it make you feel so fucking powerful??

Does it make you feel so in control??

Does it make you feel so badass??

abusing and traumatizing a vulnerable little person half your fucking size and feasibly being able to get away with it under the guise of "discipline" with no reproach or recourse because you can't or refuse to deal with your own emotional damage??

Demon behavior.

#parenting #parenting discourse #lgbt #gay #lgbtqia #queer #trans #discourse #tw child abuse #txt post #cycle breaker #neurodivergent #adhd tag #adhd stuff #autism #actually autistic #tw abuse #authoritarianism #childhood trauma #lgbtq community #tw parents #tw childhood trauma #tw childhood abuse #tw childhood neglect

[stardew-bajablast]

can 2024 be the year we stop calling stay-at-home moms stupid for being ‘financially dependent’ and risking being trapped in abusive relationships, and instead start addressing why there are no social safety nets in place for people who choose to leave the workforce to raise their children

#i’m so tired of the way everyone talks about this issue #like no it actually is really fucked up that doing something which is a net positive for society (raising children) #can put someone in a potentially devastating and life ruining situation #tradwife discourse #stay at home mom #stay at home parent #feminism #anti capitalism #capitalism #star rambles

[light-of-the-two-trees]

It is possible according to canon that Elrond and Elros were names given by Maedhros and Maglor based on where they found the twins; the names they were given by Elwing and Earendil are probably lost and forgotten. So consider:

Elrond meets Elwing in post-Fourth-Age Valinor. She calls him by the name she gave him, and he does not respond to it, for he has forgotten that name.

#guys much as I love kidnap fam I do hate that what the feanorians did TO elrond and elros is erased sometimes #elrond was basically a father to all of middle earth. he has room to love as many parents and relatives as you can imagine okay #and the same way his relationship with earendil and elwing can be read as complex his relationship with m+m can be read so too imo #and a name lost due to maedhros and maglor can definitely play into that. they kept their lives but lost their names. is this anything #anyway #elrond #elros #elwing #meta #the silmarillion #silm #legendarium tag #and it was not void #no discourse please let there be no discourse here hoping praying

[missycolorful]

I think I'll just say this: I don't agree when people call any of the islanders "bad parents" just because their parenting is flawed.

Like, parents and their parenting is flawed. Inherently. One parent cannot meet all the demands of their child; it is literally impossible. As humans are imperfect, there will always be something missing or lacking in one's parenting. Hell, sometimes even two parents can't meet all their child's needs, depending on their personalities. If that's the case, then I guess all parents are bad parents. But that's not the case, so I don't get why people are so adamant when they see that a parent isn't handling things 100% perfectly and go "wow this person's parenting sucks."

And this is even more so when you take into account... pretty much everything going on in Quesadilla island. These people never really planned to be parents, yet here they are! And this island is out to kill these kids, so it's also a dangerous game of survival now, too! There are horrors around pretty much every corner. Plus, outside or inside forces are making the islanders suffer very often. The islanders are never okay. How they take care of their children is going to be different just by the very basis of their environment. The standards of parenting are different here. Their relationships with people, including their children, were never going to be 100% healthy or positive or okay. It's just not possible.

so, no, I don't think that just cause, say, q!Tubbo or q!Phil aren't great in regards to their emotional intelligence and often isolate themselves, or when any other parents in general don't handle what their children are going through perfectly, that they're bad parents. That kinda statement feels like it diminishes pretty much all the hard work and effort and love they put into taking care of their kids and even kids that aren't their own. Tubbo gives his everything for Sunny, and was/is an active babysitter for a lot of other eggs. Phil works so hard to love and teach survival to and take care of his two eggs equally. (Like, being 'basically' a single parent, of one or WORSE, two, is already hard enough in the real world - imagine being one on this fucking hellscape they're on).

Like, I don't think there's anything wrong with pointing out the parents' flaws. Their flaws make them human, and it'd be foolish to disregard their humanity. And it's interesting to analyze their flaws and what they say about the character, and how they impact their family. There's nuance there, and it should be discussed.

But I think when you're just going "oh, they're bad at parenting in general" because they fumble the bag in other departments lacks nuance. Sure, if you're just saying "they're bad when it comes to certain aspects of parenting," that's a different story, because that's understanding their flaws while recognizing that those flaws don't define all of their parenting. But to just say they're bad at it in general isn't productive analysis of their characters in any way. I haven't watched q!Phil take care of his egg for a whole year (followed by a second egg more consistently shortly after) only for people to shit on his parenting just because his lack emotional intelligence is more noticeable as of recent due to all the trauma and bullshit he's endured. And I haven't seen q!Tubbo put his whole heart into taking care of Sunny as well as multiple other eggs, being Chayanne and Tallulah's reliable godfather, just for people to put down his efforts because he's not always great at more emotionally in depth conversations. They're good parents in a lot of ways, and those strengths shouldn't be discredited just because they aren't good at other things. Their characters deserve way better than that.

tldr these parents are all good in many regards and are just trying their damn best in the worst of circumstances, can we cut them just a bit of slack, please?

#qsmp #fuck it i'm tagging the characters i mentioned #philza #tubbo #missy rambles #also tldr this discourse is fucking dumb #like jesus calling them bad parents feels like it's shitting on all the time they've spent on this damn island taking care of these kids #all cause they're bad at talking about feelings sometimes? give me a break

[spop-romanticizes-abuse]

How to Write Disability: SPOP vs ATLA

(TW: ableism)

(before i start talking about this, i have to tell you that i am not physically disabled so my observations may not be a 100% correct. i'm only writing this post in relation to my experience with autism. if you feel like something i've said is inaccurate or insensitive, please feel free to let me know!)

so the two characters i wanted to talk about, in reference to writing disabled/neurodivergent characters, is Entrapta from SPOP and Toph from ATLA.

Entrapta is an autistic woman who grew up in solitude, only surrounded by robots. as a result, she is desperate for human etherian connection while at the same time, struggling with social interactions because of her autism.

she was pretty heavily autistic-coded, even before the writers confirmed that she was canonically autistic; she has a hyperfixation on tech and machinery, she is shown to stim a lot, she has a preference for tiny food (likely a sensory issue) and she is not good at reading social cues or communicating in a way that neurotypical people would understand. she is also an extremely intelligent and intuitive person who is not only good at handling tech but also shows love and affection towards people in her own way.

Toph is a character from ATLA, who was born blind. not completely unlike Entrapta, Toph was also raised in solitude, although she had her parents and servants to look after her.

her parents were convinced that Toph was incapable of being independent, because of her blindness, and were unwilling to look past her disability and treat her as a person. as a result, Toph is extremely rebellious and stubborn. she is an incredibly capable individual who learned how to navigate her way through earthbending. however, she still faces difficulties due to her disability and has to rely on her friends every once in a while.

the trope that these two shows share in relation to their disabled characters is the humor. there are jokes made about Entrapta's and Toph's disability in both shows. however, the key element that differentiates these jokes is the target.

Toph was never the butt of a joke in ATLA. in fact, she was the one making jokes about her disability 90% of the time. Toph was comfortable enough with her blindness that she didn't mind joking about it or even pranking the others sometimes.

in fact, one of the running gags in the series is that the other characters forget that Toph is blind because of how insanely capable she is.

Toph is never the butt of the joke, she's the one making fun of the others for forgetting about her disability. and it's all done in good faith.

and whenever someone is being ableist towards Toph, it's taken seriously. it's not played off as a joke and the narrative doesn't act like people mistreating Toph is this funny gag that everyone should laugh at.

now let's come to Entrapta. there are “jokes” in the show made about her disability as well, except these jokes are often made at her expense.

one of the most problematic parts of the show concerning Entrapta is the way Perfuma leashes her TWICE, because she was worried that Entrapta would get distracted and leave the group. so instead of holding Entrapta's hand or something like a normal person would, Perfuma decides that the best way to tackle this situation is to treat Entrapta like an animal and put her on a leash.

this is shown as a joke and is never addressed seriously. the show writers think that Entrapta being dehumanized and infantilized is supposed to be funny and quirky. Entrapta never gets to confront Perfuma about this or gets any kind of closure.

this was the main example of ableism in the show but there are also other minor scenes where we see characters treat her in a way that other characters aren't treated.

examples being Catra using Entrapta's trauma and loneliness to manipulate her, and Mermista literally yanking on Entrapta's hair and yelling at her, because she couldn't understand social cues.

there are also multiple examples of what i'd like to call the “translate nerd language” trope, where one of the other characters get irritated at Entrapta for using technical terms while speaking, and she has to dumb it down for them.

there's a way to write disabled characters and while Entrapta was a very relatable and sympathetic character, the ableism towards her is never addressed. the princesses are never called out on their actions, while Catra gets off scot-free after a vague apology.

when ableism was portrayed in ATLA, it was always taken seriously. Toph was allowed to leave her toxic parents and find people who accepted her for who she is, she was allowed to prove people wrong and be a powerful character in her own right. meanwhile, Entrapta was forced to be friends with the people who mistreated her and she was only kept around because she was useful.

#yes this is a repost because tumblr decided to act weird lol #ableism tw #tw ableism #spop critical #spop salt #spop criticism #spop discourse #spop #she ra #anti spop #neurodivergent #autism #disability #entrapta #toph #atla #also toph was allowed to be vulnerable as well she wasnt strong 100% of the time #she was allowed to talk about her concerns and miss her parents even after the way they treated her #meanwhile entrapta's trauma is never addressed

[praise-the-lord-im-dead]

Actually, because I'm still riled up about this:

If you tell your kid to change their behavior, without having a conversation as to how, here's a few problems you might encounter:

- their change in behavior changes their daily routine, and you take issue with this/comment on it/etc, leaving them feeling like trying to fix the issue only made it worse and/or you're just a tyrant who's never happy with anything.

- they start avoiding all conflict with you by hiding what they're doing or avoiding you--the problem, in their mind, has shifted from 'how to be better at X' to 'how to not have my parent be unhappy with me, because that makes me feel awful' (this trend may well continue into adulthood, btw. Not great for any future relationships!)

- they genuinely try to change, it works for a while, and then, human-manner, there's a failure point and you end up having this conversation again. You still act like you don't trust them, like they never put the work in at all, and they learn that they can't afford to fail or be human around you. They don't trust you with their struggles, and they know you don't trust them. Fun little family environment you've made here.

When I make a mistake at work, I apologize and my boss asks me what could help me do better, and what problems I've been having, and how they can help. When I hurt a friend or loved one by accident, I apologize and we hug and we talk about how to fix it.

At no point do they claim I'm not really sorry or that they won't trust me again until I've proven I can do better, because that's not how adult conversations are supposed to go. That's not how communication is supposed to go. And I'm an adult. Why is this person giving their own child less grace, less consideration, less care than I get from my boss in one of the lowest-paid departments of my workplace? It's just. I can't fathom it.

#biting. killing. tearing with my teeth. #discourse sorry #parenting

[mishapen-dear]

tbh i think that even unwinnable fights should be winnable. some of the BEST fights i've ever run as a dm were ones i built kill the players (in a fun way. I had some cutscenes prepped so even the loss would be a different flavour of win)- but then they were clever bastards and managed to either win the fights or pull themselves out of trouble. I think it's perfectly fine to plan for a fight that players aren't supposed to win, but you need to let them. if they can't win, they can't lose, and the meaning of that encounter is diminished. do that too many times, and they stop trusting you to give them roleplay prompts and start expecting to sit there waiting while you drive the story for them.

but if they can win... if there is always the chance to win, no matter how impossible the odds, then they ALWAYS have hope. they always get invested. they feel the big emotions of success or the big emotions of failure, and you fucking Win as a dm/roleplay prompter/lead bastard.

#qsmp neg #qsmp crit #discourse #<- for blacklists #im not grumping or anything im just musing on like. the mechanics of why everyone is so upset about the latest fight #and how it can be avoided while still keeping these fights genuinely difficult and intense #its hard because there's so many players and they all have wildly different strengths and weaknesses #so someone who could take on the code easy needs that enemy scaled differently than someone who isn't a big fighter #but it's hard to do that in a world where they interact w the same enemy #and you only have so much man-power to cater to a big server like this one #and then you bring in the big powerful items that the players can and can't access but which the admins have ultimate power over #and the fact that some of the admins themselves have lag issues or aren't super great at pvp so they accommodate that with better gear #and it starts getting messy #but for the fights themselves yeah regardless of what armour or gear or killing-methods they use there should Always be a win condition #and idk maybe there was one and we just didn't get to see it #but if that win condition is 'parents sit in the safe room with their babies while the others are overrun' #then i think there are ways to build better win conditions #anyway i love game design and player/dm interactions qsmp hire me now i want to know your behind the scenes #jk im too busy to apply #but man. i wanna nerd out so bad that sometimes i think about it

[thewhalesaredoingfine]

Would like to remind dimension 20 tumblr that both The Rat Grinders and The Bad Kids are... children, and I think it's important that in your discourse, maybe look at things from an angle of child development.

#fantasy high #the rat grinders #the bad kids #kipperlilly copperkettle #this post is more specifically about the discourse around Kipperlilly #fhjy spoilers #dimension 20 #personally i think she was neglected #maybe her parents are awful to her #and then say that other people have it worse #i know my parents did that

[lionheartedmusings]

"qsmpblr isn't better than qsmptwt" honestly every community is deserving of criticism and no one's perfect but actually at least around here i see oceans of people with braincells that function. also very few people are total cunts. so, i actually am going on the record to say that qsmpblr is a breath of fresh air bc every time i open twitter i take psychic damage of the highest order.

#qsmptwt neg #twitter neg #neg #discourse #fandom discourse #i'm sorry but now they're complaining pomme “doesn't spend time with her biological parents” and too much time with bad #first of all wild statement #second of all what's the man supposed to do kick the eggs out #like do tell #LEAVE THE ADMINS ALONE

[gay-cartoon-enjoyer]

Gravity Falls meme I made in 5 min

Might as well repost this, since it’s the month of Maybel. 💫

#gotta love those good/evil binaries. best to take this meme with a grain of salt; of course the characters are more complicated than this #i just wanted to poke fun at the mabel vs ford discourse. for “hated” characters they sure are popular 😅😂 #i just think it’s funny when people say that mabel prevented dipper from “a wonderful opportunity.” only a kid would think that #ford straight up decided to pull dipper from school without even discussing it with his parents first #i love ford but thank god he didn’t get his way on that one 😭 #gravity falls #gravity falls meme #mabel pines #dipper pines #ford pines

[thecruellestmonth]

Do you guys really believe that killing is the singular bad thing that cops do?

Or even that killing is the most frequent bad thing that cops do?

Are you saying that if cops didn't kill, then they'd be the same as Batman? Because then you're suggesting that effectively Batman already is a cop, with the exception that he hasn't killed (just like the majority of U.S. cops, who have never once shot or killed anybody).

I'm a bit worried to see opinions suggesting that only killing is wrong—and that violence, stalking, and humiliation are okay. In real-life, police commit countless acts of those "little" abuses, terrorizing entire communities, before they murder anybody.

Invading people's privacy is wrong. Hurting people to the point of hospitalization is wrong. Forcibly drugging people is wrong. Putting people in cages is wrong. Torture and "enhanced interrogation" are wrong. Ambushing people in their homes and safe places is wrong. Keeping inexhaustible wealth is wrong.

Superhero comics are power fantasies. Not all fantasies need to reflect our ideology in reality. But once you apply your real-life values to fiction, once you decide that fiction showcases exemplary real-life ideology—then your praise for Batman's ideology does become a worrying reflection of your real-life understanding of social issues.

#copaganda #Bruce Wayne critical #GCPD #fandom discourse #Batman copaganda #police brutality cw #Almost sorry to drag serious discussion of copaganda into ridiculous superhero comics but I swear the other guys started it first... #To be clear I'm completely disinterested in condemning or interrogating Bruce over his personal choice not to kill. #But I am so fascinated in how he justifies his own use of violence and privilege!!! So very very fascinated!! #Once again: LESLIE THOMPKINS IS RIGHT. #Actually I'm not gonna tag this post as @nti Bruce W@yne--because really I enjoy canon Bruce a hell of a lot more than his stans do lol. #Sorry but Batman isn't a darling anti-cop revolutionary. If he were then he'd get in line behind Green Arrow and like the Invisibles. #I mean maybe The Audio Adventures version is anti cop but still in a free-market libertarian power fantasy kind of way if you can dig that. #violence mention cw #murder mention cw #fandom drama #This is why Cheer doesn't work because Red Hood realizes 'Oh I don't want kids to lose their parents like I lost mine-- #--therefore I won't murder anymore. It's time to put my faith in the system. 👼👼👼' #Jason sweetie... you lost your father firstly to criminalization and incarceration for property crime. #You lost your mother to poverty and addiction. You are actually not like Batdaddy and your trauma is not a mere echo of his trauma. #Batman discourse

[chiisana-sukima]

Oh when you used to sing it to sleep

@jinkieswouldyoulookatthis and @blue-chimera - thank you both for your kind and thoughtful replies to my reblog of this post. The og post is getting quite long and also I don't want to put too much writing effort into a reblog that's susceptible to disappearance, so I'm continuing here instead.

I agree with you both that Dean's parentification and Sam's continued acceptance of vs rebellion against it as an adult are an important part of their dynamic. Dean's dying words in the finale attest to this beautifully (as well as many other things throughout the course of the show); I love you so much, my baby brother. To a certain extent Sam is Dean's baby and always will be.

I think though to a large extent, the framing by both Sam and Dean of Dean as Sam's parentified elder sibling is a mutually employed, mostly cooperative sanitization of the central and most damaging aspect of the roles they internalized through their upbringing: Sam is a monster and Dean is the tool to "take care of" it (double reading of "take care of" 100% intentional on my part). Because of this, while readings of spn through the lens of Dean's parentification are definitely valid, I do think they sometimes risk distorting or leaving out important aspects of the characters' personalities, motivations, and relationship.

Jinkies, in my fruitless quest to process without reblogging a take I knew the OP wouldn't appreciate, I had listened to the interview before posting, and I think while Jensen is being flip, he's also getting at what he sees as a truth in the brothers' relationship. I think he's right from a Doylist/co-creator/actor's perspective--Sam is the protagonist who we see through Dean, the deuteragonist's, eyes. Dean, as a piece of the narrative artifact, Supernatural, is there to save Sammy in a way that Sam (up to that point anyway) is not a piece of the narrative artifact whose purpose is to save Dean. From a Watsonian/in-universe perspective though, I think he's mistaken, and that his mistake is the reason his take sounds uncharitable, even aside from the flippant part.

It's just not a very convincing analysis imo to frame a character who spends the first few seasons rejecting immoral power, the next few in an arc that ends with him willingly subjected himself to eternal torture for the good of the world, and the one after that intending to sacrifice himself dramatically to rid the world of one particular species of monster but doesn't because Dean asks him not to, as self-absorbed or not particularly concerned with his effect on others, including on his brother. Likewise, Dean holds up well as a parentified older sibling with no sense of internal self and abysmal self-esteem in some ways, but in others not so much. He does have interests and priorities and a sense of purpose outside Sam. They're all over spn every day, much more so in fact than Sam's are. They're just not enough to override his Sam prioritization.

The main place I think this analysis fails on Dean's side though is that he, as an adult, is just not a very good parent. Obviously as a child he couldn't be expected to be a good parent (or a parent at all) and as an adult he's already damaged and so it's understandable that if big brother-ing Sam is how he chooses to spend the rest of his life, he may still not be equipped to do it. But he fails on such a fundamental, obvious level at the the most basic aspects of parenting--providing safety, unconditional love, and preparing your child to go out into the world as an independent adult--in ways that once he's a grown up are absolutely within his power to at least attempt (for example: if he wants Sam to be safer, it would ultimately have failed because of Fate, but the logical thing to do first would be not hunt. Dean could've followed Sam to Palo Alto. He could've told him to go to Harvard Law if he can't tolerate Stanford after Jess dies. Could've refused to support him throwing his life away of a mission of revenge. Bought him his own car, encouraged him to have his own tastes. Told him convincingly that trusting Ruby was a bad decision but Lucifer is still not his fault).

None of that is meant to be insulting to Dean though, because I don't think that parenting Sam is Dean's real job--even from Dean's perspective--and I don't think his real job is palatable enough that it would be better for either of them if he admitted what it is head on. What his and Sam's real jobs both are imo is being a container for Sam. On Dean's side, this means holding Sam in his arms with love or if that's not enough, holding him in the panic room, which, from this perspective, is also an act of love. Substituting his judgement for Sam's is an act of love. Not encouraging Sam to hold his own interests first or to grow towards independence are acts of love. Given the nature of (what I believe to be) Dean's actual job, they are effective and competent acts of love undertaken under impossible circumstances, even if the results are sometimes pretty horrific. Because they're still better than the alternative.

Likewise on Sam's side, doing his job well means being a model monster--go to an Ivy, exercise, eat healthy, cultivate empathy, don't have desires of your own, hold yourself to an impossible standard, suppress your anger, kill other monsters when they get out of line. And in the moments he can't manage all that--because who can?-- submit to Dean. When he does those things, he's succeeding at his job, and while it would be nice if "let your brother hit you" or "jump in the Cage with Lucifer" wasn't his job, in the world of spn, it is. He is right to be contained by Dean and wrong to have opinions or priorities of his own unless Dean approves them first.

I do think this sometimes ends up looking like Sam has better self-regard, because Dean's job is to "take care of" Sam, and Sam's job is also to "take care of" Sam. But actually they both have absolutely abysmal shit self-esteem. "I should submit to eternal torture because it's my fault someone else is going to do terrible things he could choose not to do if he wanted" is not the thinking of a person with healthy self-regard. The reason neither of them could fill a thimble with their self-esteem or healthy boundaries imo is because neither "monster" nor "blunt instrument" is a person. Neither of these roles is better or more healthy than the other. Fundamentally, if you don't see yourself first and foremost as a human person, then your life is going to suck horribly. And neither of them see themselves that way.

#spn meta #sam winchester #dean winchester #my meta #discourse in the linked post #long post #i am ofc like all of us to some extent projecting #some of you have been fortunate enough to not have had a monster to fail at 'parenting' and it shows

[spop-romanticizes-abuse]

i honestly wish bow had more depth to his character than just being the “friendship guy” or the mom friend. like he’s part of the main trio and somehow he’s one of the most underdeveloped characters in the show. i think it would have been really interesting if they explored bow’s relationships with his dads and his fear of letting them down, in more detail, than just cramming it into one episode and calling it a day.

#it would have been interesting to see how this kind of parenting affected him #obviously his parents loved him but there was still the burden of expectations #would have been an interesting contrast with adora who was also burdened with expectations but from people who abused her #similarly i wish bow played a bigger role in the war overall #it always felt like he was pushed to the back and just aimlessly shot arrows #or did some unimportant tech stuff #spop bow #spop critical #spop salt #spop #spop discourse #spop criticism #she ra #anti spop

[magnetic-rose]

bad faith interpretation of a character is "aang didn't take bumi and kya on the same vacations as he did tenzin because he didn't love them as much and was a bad dad" instead of "aang had a responsibility to the world and part of that responsibility was teaching tenzin everything about air nomad culture so he could continue their traditions because tenzin would be (and was for a few years) the last airbender after aang passed away. he also had to make sure that tenzin was an airbending master because tenzin would be the ONLY one who could teach the next avatar how to airbend. due to the crushing weight of responsibility he knew tenzin would have to shoulder, he probably sprinkled in "fun vacations" during his trips with tenzin so he'd have positive memories."

bumi and kya are allowed to feel some type of way because their dad favored their airbending sibling over them, but let's not pretend that favoring doesn't make narrative and character sense when the future of airbending rests on the shoulder of two characters in the entire universe.

#aang #tenzin #atla #avatar #also not every parent is perfect and both bumi and kya dearly loved their dad and spoke about him positively despite him having faults #atla and lok discoursers y'all will NEVERRRR make me hate aang

[ingravinoveritas]

profileranon replied to your post "So anna posted this picture just after the trailer…"

Some Anons in my inbox re this and as usual I came here to see what in hot tea hell was happening. I see now. This girl, istg….. 5 years and 2 kids into this shitshow and nothing much has changed it seems.

@profileranon This is exactly what I wish people understood. That those of us who talk about what we are seeing with Michael and AL's relationship and AL's behavior are responding not just to one post or one thing in isolation, but all of this cumulatively put together. It's that many of us remember Anna posting things exactly like this in 2020, to where as you said, it seems nothing has really changed four or five years and two kids later.

In the wake of The Assembly trailer release, I've seen so many people on Twitter saying, "They're well past the dating stage," yet it was Anna herself who used the word dating to describe their relationship just a month ago. I have also seen people create an entire narrative about Michael and AL's relationship that has nothing to do with reality (saying that Michael was "so depressed" before he met AL and then he became so much happier once they were together, when there is nothing that remotely suggests this and the most vivid recent examples of him being depressed were in 2020 and 2021, when they were already together).

But again, taking AL's own words into account and the fact that so little has changed, it could just be that their relationship hasn't progressed beyond where it was five years ago, and that maybe Michael and AL aren't as serious about each other as fans want to think they are. A crazy notion, and yet here we are...

#profileranon #reply post #michael sheen #welsh seduction machine #also it should go without saying that this doesn't mean they are not committed to the kids #or doing what is best for them #because that is what parents who love their kids do #even if they aren't in love with each other #people really seem to project all over Michael and AL's relationship but never really look at it for what it is #so if nothing else maybe this will be the start of that #but i will leave it to my followers to make up their own minds #anna lundberg #relationships #discourse

[tobi-smp]

hot take: some people use found family as an avenue to explore non-traditional platonic relationships that are subversive of both the traditional nuclear family structure And platonic relationships as secondary. this is important

some people use found family as a way to project and work through their own hang ups with their own familial relationships.

these two categories are not inherently separate, the subversion of the nuclear family structure and embracing of more ambiguous platonic relationships can be very important to working through those very hang ups. some people can need and want different things at different points.

but the fact is

it's not actually inherently a bad thing for people to project more traditional familial roles onto the found family trope. it can be a very healing experience for some people to do so.

the frustration of someone going to a trope to find a specific kind of content and not getting it is understandable, but people having different needs and wants while sharing a space is not inherently a bad thing.

#tommyinnit #discourse #I'm sorry but tommy is a son he's a little brother #I will never stop this #every character is a parental figure because I have daddy issues and also mommy issues and also sibling issues #I'm not vague posting I prommy #but I Did see a post that reminded me that I've seen a specific sentiment expressed a number of times that I don't quite agree with #and so I felt like talking about it #but peace and love on planet earth #people are allowed to express a different opinion and that's exactly why I decided to make this a separate post instead of a direct respons