#people get mad or confused bc you like a character who has a dumb asshole streak but... that's room for character growth

[mikesbasementbeets]

honestly i like my characters with huge glaring personal flaws. “this character is a perfect angel” “this character has never done a single thing wrong in their life” ok you have fun with that. sounds boring to me

#don’t get me wrong i like ‘Good’ characters and i like the ones people say those things about #but that’s just not as interesting to focus on for me personally #and i think leaning into that ‘flawless’ characterization is kinda boring too #(also just for disclaimer i understand why. like i do understand WHY people defend certain characters like that i really do. but) #i like when characters have something deeply wrong with them #people get mad or confused bc you like a character who has a dumb asshole streak but... that's room for character growth #that's a call for deeper exploration/analysis of both that character and the full text around them #idk that’s more fun and interesting to spend time with. to me #beets posts

[demadogs]

am i the only one that doesn’t have hope anymore? like at all? i don’t trust the duffers anymore and i feel like us(the bylers) created all this byler thing in our heads and we just looked too much into the details in the show :(

i dont blame you for not having hope bc volume 2 for byler definitely was a disappointment and i understand not wanting to look between the lines of the monologue and get hopes up only to be disappointed again but DO NOT think we just made all this up!! if byler doesnt happen i genuinely think that it was their plan originally and then they trashed it.

its not like theres two or three potential hints towards it. there are dozens and dozens of clues and subtext from the dialogue and actions of the characters but also the cinematography, the lighting, the score and tracks they use, the parallels to other couples on the show, the placement of their characters, and probably so much more we havent even noticed yet. we did not make anything up.

after volume 2 i wasnt that sad or mad because more than anything i was just VERY confused. because none of mike wheelers actions make sense unless hes deeply struggling with internalized homophobia. there will be genuine plotholes in the whole show if they stick with mlvn til the end.

lets look at mikes actions alone. can you answer ANY of these questions with an answer thats NOT related to his sexuality?

why did mike not let el touch her when they were kissing at the beginning of s3?

why did he say “its not my fault you dont like girls” if thats not projecting?

why did he say he loves her out loud to everyone else but then pretend he didnt know what she was talking about when she brought it up again?

why did he look so confused when el kissed him and said she loves him and why did he keep his eyes open and didnt kiss her back at all?

why didnt mike have any indication of even having a gf in his room besides the letter we saw him read, while el had a whole shrine and a “book of letters” from him? why did, instead, mike have wills drawings up all over the basement and has a while binder for them that we saw in s1. book of drawings.

WHY on earth wouldnt mike hug his best friend who he hasnt seen in months at the airport? its not because he knows wills feelings, the duffers and finn and the script itself have confirmed hes oblivious to his sexuality and feelings for him.

why did mike look so nervous to ask will about the painting? if it was just because their friendship was kinda dying i think he would have said it as if he was bored or didnt care but instead he looked like he cared a little too much and was trying to hide it. this is right after reading el’s letter that said that will might be painting for a girl.

why did mike barely even look at el as they were walking out of the airport and why did he wear something very different for mike as if he’s portraying someone he’s not?

why would mike emphasize so much “WE’RE FRIENDS!!! we’re friends!” will didnt mean it in a romantic context but mike took it that way.

why was mike kinda an asshole to el and didnt comfort her after the bullies at the rink? “she didnt look fine?” what the hell.

WHY COULDNT MIKE SAY OR WRITE THAT HE LOVES EL!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT IS THE POINT OF THAT SCENE IF HE ACTUALLY GENUINELY DOES LOVE HER??? why didnt he say it right then if he did?

why was that “i feel like i lost you” scene so god damn flirty? he’s never looked at el the way he looked at him here.

why did he nod when will told him that its scary to open up to people especially if they dont like the truth? why did finn say that this “psyches him out”?

why did mike say “its not fate, its not destiny, its just simple dumb luck” about first meeting el and then claim to her that the moment he say her in the woods was love at first sight? we know that this is a blatant lie and will should know this too.

why did mike look at will like THAT during the painting scene!!!??? (i will admit tho this could be finn wolfhard just wanting his character to be gay so he plays him gay but they could have used shots of him not looking at his lips but they kept them in.)

WHY DID WILL HAVE TO PUSH MIKE TO CONTINUE TALKING TO EL!!!!!???? HE WASNT GONNA SAY HE LOVES HER BUT WILL PUSHED HIM INTO IT!!!!!!!!

and thats just his actions alone!!! now lets look into the more technical film choices theyve made when it comes to mike wheeler. again, can you answer any of these questions with an answer thats not related to him having internalized homophobia?

why did they make it clear that max and lucas at day of the dead were having a date (“im spending romantic time with my girlfriend”) and then choose to place mike and will together but not with them, as if mike and will were on a date too.

why did they film mike and el’s break up in s3 so playfully and humorous with bright lighting, lots of colors, an audience, max and el laughing, and fun music after vs mike and will’s fight which was very dark and blue, pouring rain, harsh shadows, and played an emotional original score track?

WHY the eye witness parallel?

why would they frame mike in a closet in s3 during that awkward unreciprocated kiss? this is the biggest thing by far for me that makes me think he’s gay for sure.

why did they frame mike reading el’s letter so that theres a literal fucking one way sign pointing to an open closet?

why did bouncy upbeat music play when he and el reunited at the airport? they could have made it emotional but they made it light and playful as if its more friendly than romantic.

WHY DID THEY PLAY A TRACK CALLED “IN THE CLOSET” WHEN MIKE STARTS SPEAKING!!!!!!!!!!!! NOT WILL!!! this is also right after he said “we’re firends we’re friends!!” no its not just because el is in a literal closet here, the track starts during mike and wills fight.

why did they play a track that is EXTREMELY similar to the track eulogy during mike and el’s fight, a track thats only played when someone dies.

(emotional, tender music). why. its only used in romantic contexts. we see it used with byler, lumax, jopper, and once with mlvn when theyre at the pizza place.

why did they frame will out of focus in the middle of mike and el when they reunited!!? at first i thought this was just to emphasize will’s pov but now im thinking it might be more symbolic of will getting in between mike and eleven. he himself isnt doing that at all though, quite the opposite actually- he keeps giving mike relationship advice and hes the reason mike told el he loves her, so it must be in reference to how will is disrupting mike and els relationship because of mikes feelings for him.

why did they keep will in the frame when mike said he loved her? the only other time we had a similar one on one emotional monologue delivery to someone was in s2 when joyce, jonathan, and mike were trying to reach will and mike told him asking him to be friends was the best thing hes ever done. that was shot as if there were no one else in the room it was very centered around just will and mike, whereas this monologue shows will in the same frame as mike as well as will and jonathans reactions to what hes saying.

and lastly, WHY did they frame every couple so dramatically paired off together in the final shot while el was all alone. joyce and hopper, mike and will, and jonanathan and nancy. theyve done this in the past but this was the first time they made it excruciatingly obvious.

damn i wasnt gonna list out every thing i know when i first started answering this but thats what i ended up doing. anyways, again, i understand giving up considering how disappointing volume 2 was, but absolutely no way was it all in our heads. look at all that.

i still have hope just for the sheer fact that not only mike wheeler as a character, but all their film choices surrounding mike wheeler make no fucking sense unless hes gay and DEEP in the closet.

#jeuss thats a lot #im gonna think of another huge one i forgot right after i post this i know it #i could have included s2 but i wanted to compare it with el a lot and theyre barely together that season #thats not even all of it i only included the ones i know had to be intentional #there are so many others that im still kinda on the fence about #i wanna be convinced about mikes arrow on his heart always pointing to will but im not 100% sold yet #byler #stranger things #eden answers

[epickiya722]

Y'know the bnha fandom is annoying but it's 99% bc of the bigoted, sexist, mysogynistic fucks there. Not gay shippers. They make that 1% but literally any fandom has that, so it's not like it's anything new or unique to bnha.

And what i find worse, is all of that bigotry gets a bunch of people to believe bnha is a bigoted story as well. But it's all deflected by outsiders getting mad at gay shippers.

Like, you can say stuff abt Hori's writting, but i'm pretty sure he never went out of his way to affirm this hatred, and it pains me when people get on to putting words on his mouth and acting like it's a fact.

THANK YOU!! Let me pass you a mic so people can hear you loud and clear because OMG!!

Every time I hear "BNHA fandom is toxic" I think of several things...

Don't act as if your fandom is any better

Every fandom has those toxic people

If you are constantly surrounded by toxicity GET FROM AROUND IT

People be acting so brand new, it annoys me.

Especially people outside of fandoms.

Once, I got someone in the Stranger Things fandom reblog a Bakugou post of mine, thinking they were cute being a troll and I blocked them. Checked their blog out and they had NOTHING pertaining to BNHA, NOTHING.

I forgot what they said but it was enough to piss me off. Look, I deal with enough idiots within the fandom, I don't need your dumb ass.

It just surprises me people think BNHA is the first and only fandom to act chaotic. Acting like ship wars is something the BNHA fandom made up.

Ooooh, not long after that incident, I witness a ship war in the Stranger Things fandom through the blogs I follow. I never been so quick to dip out and write that day.

People don't find it strange that gay shippers often get blamed? It doesn't click that it's easy for gay shippers to get blamed? Do you really think that people who draw and write their ships are gonna say something outrageous just so they get people mad at them? No one thinks it's the homophobic asshole wanting to cause a problem because they don't like gay ships so they're blaming the shippers? Or the misogynist jerk who believes women should have a certain role in society so they bash the female characters who seem "not like a woman" to them? Or how about the racist who tends to talk over fans of color because they don't want those fans to be heard because HELLO THEY'RE RACIST?!

Like people, open your damn eyes!!!

I also think cultural differences play a part in the stupidity of how people act in fandoms.

I need certain fucking people to understand that something that may seem strange to you may be something normal somewhere else. That doesn't mean you, the damn outsider, speak over and bash the person who knows more about their own culture than you do.

There is a language barrier there, so instead of this whole entitled "I'm right because I don't understand you" attitude, I need people to actually get out that stupid bubble and try to understand. Not just for Horikoshi, but for anybody.

Example, the Christmas episode. The part where Eri was confused about the holidays and she pulled out the beans and say "in sickness and in health", I was confused. Of course, I was. I'm not native to Japan nor am I an expert on Japanese culture. But instead of "That's even a real holiday, blah blah", I read up on it and found out something I didn't know.

So simple, so easy! I rather at least be aware next time than to be like "that's not something I know so therefore it's not important and it's stupid".

Overall, I hope you folks can hear me sighing loudly, people need to stop relying on hearsay. In fact, just stop altogether because a lot of people in fandoms really be doing too much for me.

From these damn ship wars to "Horikoshi said this" *insert nonexistent statement/statement made up by someone else because they're fucking stupid and want to cause drama* to the audacity to be entitled I just want to punch a wall or something. This is why I don't go into certain spaces and block people.

#kiya answers #bnha #mha #boku no hero academia #my hero academia

[kinktae]

beyond the story: bitchin’

Hi friends! I hope you are all staying safe and healthy during these tough times! I really wanted to put something out there as a thank you to just how much support Bitchin’ got. You guys really are incredible. So, although this story has come to an end, I wanted to properly close the Bitchin’ chapter by giving you all a behind the scenes look at Bitchin’ and everything that went into writing it. This includes hidden easter eggs, backstories, alternative plot-lines, and a short drabble of the Bitchin’ cast 10 years after the story’s end.

Without further ado, please enjoy and thank you again for all your love. You have all of mine.

CHAPTER ONE – PARTNERS

Ah, yes, the start of this whole wild ride. I’ve always loved the whole nerd/popular person trope in fanfics, so it was only a matter of time before I tried my hand at it too. One thing I was adamant about was not making this a “popular person turns nerd hot/confident/better” fic as its kind of one of my least favorite cliches. With that in mind, and knowing that I was going to allude to TATBILB’s contract, I decided that I wanted Y/N to gain as much from the deal as Jungkook did. No blackmail, no just agreeing for the hell of it – Y/N was going to further herself and her dreams given the opportunity.

The beginning of the chapter is where the two are most separated and dissimilar throughout the whole story. It wasn’t that they were fundamentally different, it was that they approached life differently. Y/N was frustrated at how superficial Jungkook seemed, because she believes there is much more to life than just kicking your feet up and cracking jokes.

On the other hand, Jungkook didn’t understand why Y/N was so tense and on guard. To him, life was meant to enjoy and not take so seriously. Which makes sense, given that he grew up with minimal rules and minimal worries (bare minimum partners wassup !) 

“So, do we have a deal? Partners?” There was mischievous timber to his words, the kind that made you feel as if this would all later come back to bite you in the ass.

Pushing that pestering thought away, you took his hand into yours, holding his eyes as you gave it a firm shake.

“Partners.”

God, this bit. I knew from the minute I wrote it that I was writing the ending of bitchin’ along with it. I knew this was exactly how I was going to end this story, bc the word partners has multiple means right? In chapter 1, this meant business partners, but in the final chapter… it means life partners. Idk, I’m just still really happy with this writing decision :D

CHAPTER TWO – THE CONTRACT

Dearest Yara. We meet her in chapter two don’t we? Yara is completely based off of my irl best friend Yara who is a writer and who helped me A LOT with this story. She was my biggest supporter throughout figuring out this crazy plot. It was initially only about seven parts, but with her help I managed to bump it up to 10! Everybody say thank you Yaraaaa.

You were angry, that much was evident to her. Yara was sat in your shared dorm’s living room, a thick blanket engulfing her small frame. You briefly glanced towards the TV, it was tuned into MTV, the familiar music video of Every Breath You Take by The Police playing, before directing your glare back onto the copper-haired girl.

The song reference is a direct allusion to writer Yara’s fic, which is one of my favorite fics by her. She was actively writing it around the start of our friendship so it only felt right to pay respects to her. The introduction of her character felt necessary imo bc I wanted to make sure Y/N had a life outside Jungkook. Plus, I got to use the scenes between the two girls as a way to reference the music and culture scene. Yara is especially a fan of the powerful women in the music industry at the time, i.e., Madonna, Annie Lennox, Cyndi Laupner, etc.) Yara is a raging feminist and believer in sexual freedom and libery for women, we do in fact have to stan.

“How old do you think your sister is?”

“Hey, don’t sass me. For your information, Lyanna still has all her Care Bear tapes. She threw a hissy fit when my mom tried to give them away last Christmas.” Yara recalled.

Lyanna is one of writer Yara’s past pseudonyms. She always used to joke about how whenever she read it, it was confusing because there was Y/N, Yara and Lyanna, which were technically all her lolol.

FUNNY STORY ABOUT THE CONTRACT I INSERTED INTO THIS PICTURE… Twitter found it and made it into somewhat of a meme because no one knew it came from a fic rip. I was actually rly embarrassed and even wrote some posts about how much twitter scared me on my blog LMAO. but THEN weirdly enough, I actually stumbled upon a small community on twitter who actually found my fic and would TWEET ABOUT IT!!! LIKE REACTIONS TO EACH UPDATE!!! I wish I could go back in time and remember how giddy I was the first time I found a tweet about my fic. The fanfic community on twitter gave me a new love for the site (which I had previously had removed myself from because of its toxicity) and I have met so many wonderful people because of it. People even made themselves a little twitter group chat to talk about my fics, and now we are all friends! I miss posting a chapter of bitchin’ and refreshing my twitter feed as all my mutuals would post memes and live tweet their reactions. God that made me so fucking happy.

CHAPTER THREE – THE ROLLERSKATING DATE

I love the bickering in this chapter, because unlike the bickering in the first chapter, it’s actually less hostile and more playful. Y/N is slowly letting her guard down to the very persistently charming Jungkook.

“Woah. Family of six, huh? So you have siblings then.” He noted.

“Yep. Three.”

“Tell me about them.”

Looking up from where you were slipping on your second skate, you met Jungkook’s eyes, surprised to see genuine interest in them.

I actually originally had Y/N brush him off here. I was going to wait until the drunk party scene for Y/N to open up about her family and relationship with her sisters. But then I kind of thought to myself… Why? Y/N made peace with it and doesn’t hold onto those insecurities anymore. And objectively, Jungkook hasn’t proven himself to be a bad person so… I let Y/N open herself up to him.

“Then there’s the twins, Rosa and Lia.”

“Hold on. Twins? Wait… did they go to our high school?” Jungkook asked, his interest in this conversation doubled.

“Yep. They were two grades above us.” You confirmed.

“Oh shit, yeah, I remember your sisters, they were mad hot.” Jungkook let out a low whistle, before stiffening, flashing you an apologetic look. “Uh, in a totally non-meathead way.”

You offered the scared-looking boy a small smile, shaking your head.

Some of y’all notice but, Rosa and Lia are a blatant homage to my name: Roselia. ACTUALLY some form of my name can be found in every one of the rewind series fics, including upcoming ones. I’ll give a cookie to whoever can find every single mention hehe.

“I told you it was dumb.” You laughed nervously.

It wasn’t that you cared much about what Jungkook thought but you had a feeling a guy like him, who was popular and carefree, wouldn’t be able to sympathize in the way you would like him to.

“No, I’m just… surprised, that’s all.”

Jungkook certainly was surprised. You had built up quite the impression on him from the very moment you two met. It was hard to imagine that the girl who was so unapologetically herself was ever unsure or insecure.

Somehow, the idea tugged at his heart, as if he understood you more if only just a little.

From the get go, Jungkook was extremely drawn to just how confident and secure Y/N was in herself. I knew I wanted Y/N to be unapologetically sure of herself and in her abilities. Something I didn’t want, however, was for frat boy!jungkook’s only personality traits to be liking sex and being a cocky bastard (although I am a big consumer of that trope heh). Jungkook is actually canonly incredibly insecure. He lacks a real sense of self, which is why he is so desperate for Kiri back. His relationship with Kiri at that time was a big part of what he thought was himself. He has somewhat of low self esteem tbh which is why he’ll go back to a woman who treated him unfairly. That’s why he comes off the way he does in the first chapter and why Y/N thinks he has a big ego... he’s overcompensating. He finds it so endlessly fascinating that Y/N, in all her confident glory, was actually once super insecure. He admires her all the more once she opens up about her past.

“Oh, Rosa is an intern for our hometown’s newspaper but between you and me those assholes don’t even let her write. She does coffee and burger runs for men in charge. And Lia sells ice cream at the mall.”

“What about your brother?” Jungkook asked.

“He’s training to be a cop just like my dad.”

“And your mom?”

“She works at a convenience store.”

All their careers resemble people in the latest Stranger Things season (Nancy, Steve, Hopper, and Joyce). Fun Cameo there.

“What’s wrong?” You wondered, following his eyes.

“October 16th, 1985. 6:48PM.”

“Yes. That’s today’s date and time. What about it?” You pressed, growing confused.

“Remember it.” He warned.

“Why?”

“It’s when I fell in love with you.”

This iconic line I actually got from the real Jeon Jungkook himself. While Jungkook wasn’t actually in love with Y/N here, it certainly was a cute way for him to express his admiration for her.

OH HERE’S A FUN FACT: the hickey scene at the end of this chapter where JK and Y/N kiss for the first time was actually supposed to be Yara giving Y/N the hickey like the best friend she is. Ultimately I went with JK giving it for... smut purposes... ≖‿≖ 

CHAPTER FOUR – THE HALLOWEEN PARTY

The decision for Y/N to be Freddie Krueger came from me planning to be him for Halloween. And I was! JK as Glen Lantz just followed naturally. I’ve seen some great edits of him as the character. Truly chef’s kiss.

I really liked that Jungkook came over to the girl’s dorm to get ready. I didn’t want a scene where Y/N was thrown into a situation she was uncomfortable with which is how much Nerd At A Party Scene go so made sure Jungkook stayed by her side throughout the part, going out of his way to introducing her to the people he cared about.

Tae’s character came in when I realized I needed a way to actually put Y/N’s event in motion. He was the missing link and BOY did you guys eat his character right up huh. Love that for me.

Another thing, the confrontation with Kiri was so hard to write guys, I reeaaaally struggle with girl conflict. GIRLS SHOULD SUPPORT GIRLS. However, not everyone gets along in real life so I went with Kiri being more along the lines of petty rather than outwardly a cunt to Y/N. Realistically, Kiri is popular and well liked among the greek life so being unkind to someone she hardly knows wouldn’t make sense. There’s definitely tension between these two but I tried my best to steer away from the typical cat fight/revenge porn/public humiliation trope most movies seem to follow.

CHAPTER FIVE – THE FIRST TIME

Introduction to Erik!!!! It was really important to me that Y/N had a life before Jungkook. That's why I wrote in Y/N having a fiancé. She’s not opposed to love, she just has reshifted her focus. She knows what she wants and is choosing to focus on that, which why when she realizes she’s falling for Kookie she’s so hesitant to admit it because she’s fallen down that road before. Even though Jungkook treats her with respect and acknowledges the parts of her she’s most proud of, she just isn’t willing to possibly give up her passions for love. Which is why she doesn’t immediately confess to him, even once she’s sure she loves him.

“I’m serious, nerd. You’re like… um… the sun!” Jungkook marveled, eyes growing full as the realization dawned on him.

“The sun?” You laughed.

“Yeah, like… you’re this bright, beautiful thing that seems like it’s here in front of me but is really light-years away.”

Jungkook was drunk, and although you were sure he was making more sense in his head, you couldn’t help but feel your face grow hot, unsure of how to react to his drunk analogy.

“You’re the sun, Y/N. You make the world turn for you. Never orbit for anyone else.”

And suddenly, you were kissing him, for no other reason other than you wanted to and that it felt like the right thing to do.

No real commentary here. Just love this bit. It’s probably my favorite interaction between them two ‧⁺◟( ᵒ̴̶̷̥́ ·̫ ᵒ̴̶̷̣̥̀ ) 

“Also… She’s, uh, currently dating Eunwoo.” You told Yara.

Your best friend blinked, silence falling over her.

“Yara?”

“Good for her.” She perked up almost forcibly. “Let her put up with his annoying ass.”

Yara could see the way your expression had turned dubious as if you didn’t believe her nonchalant act.

Yara turned up her nose defensively, “What?”

Ugh yes, some character development from Yara.... the flavor ! Yara (much like Y/N and JK) also struggles with love. She has a real fear of commitment and if far more comfortable with casual sex than relationships. She did develop actual feelings for Eunwoo, she just wasn’t ready for that kind of commitment so she cut him off. Fleed the scene if you will. Typical gemini smh my head.

"I don’t think the contract mentioned orgasms.” Jungkook smirked as you released his thumb.

“I say we let it slide.” You shrugged, leaning into him casually.

“You think?”

“Totally. Think of it as… a bonding activity.” You joked, resting your chin on his shoulder, peering up through your lashes.

“Damn, we’re really committed to this fake dating thing, huh.”

You laughed in the way that you hated, but Jungkook loved; it was loud and abrupt, but it genuine, and it was you.

“What can I say, I’m a method actor.” You sighed dramatically, causing Jungkook to grin before pressing a kiss to your nose, simply because he liked the way it always seemed to make you smile.

GOD THEY’RE SO WHIPPED FOR EACH OTHER ITS DISGUSTING!!!!!! I’m really happy I decided not to make sleeping together a big deal and I got a lot of feedback from you guys agreeing! I had a lot of fun with these two’s sex scenes knowing they could do it whenever they wanted.

CHAPTER SIX – THE STEM EVENT

I started the scene with smut BUT I wanted to point out that much of their time spent together is at Y/N dorm, Jungkook either napping, hanging out or doing work as Y/N would study like she always did. I liked the idea that Jungkook would get bored and would want attention from Y/N because she was so focused. Idk, I just wanted to write a love story about two people spending time together and figuring out how they fit in each other’s lives as opposed to some dramatic I mEeT HiM aNd mY LiFe bEcAmE cRaZy. There’s nothing wrong with that plot line, I just didn’t want that for these two dorks. I wanted Y/N to interact with JK’s scene and crowd but not give up her own which is why most days JK and her just lounged around in her dorm studying.

Also, I don’t know how the teacher/student roleplay made it into the smut, it just did, no further questions (ʃ⌣́_⌣́ƪ).

Then the event scene.

“You’re whipped, dude! Seriously.”

Jungkook felt his face go red, “Shut up, no, I’m not.”

“Hey, I’m not judging. I get it. That’s your girl.” Taehyung shrugged. Jungkook placed a hand on the fold up table in front of him, staring down at the information pamphlet you had worked so hard on.

“She’s just… so fucking driven and passionate about everything she does. Sometimes I look at her, and I’m just like… holy shit, what am I doing with a girl like her? I feel like she’s totally out of my league and being with me is holding her back but— I dunno, man. I just… really like her.” Jungkook revealed, voice growing small.

An unexpected wave of tenderness fell over the two boys, Taehyung throwing an arm over his little brother’s shoulder.

“I’m happy for you, bro.”

Jungkook didn’t know it just yet but dude was talking from the heart and, is in fact, totally whipped :’c

I loved the confrontation scene between the boys and Eunwoo because the boys standing up for Yara really did make everyone feel like a friend group, not just some character who happen to exist at the same time. It wasn’t just Y/N and Yara and one side and the boys on the other. They would all become friends, which is ideal to me. A boyfriend who likes your best friend and considers her a friend so you can all hang out??? Yes please.

Initially, irl Yara and I had noooo clue if Yara would end up with Eunwoo or not. That was actually the original goal actually. But after this chapter four, you guys made it ABUNDANTLY clear that you guys wanted to see Taeyara, despite the two never even meeting! Honestly, it wasn’t until this chapter was written that we decided for sure that Eunwoo was out of the picture for Yara. Part of me really wanted to keep Yara single, but irl Yara insisted on dick and frankly, she’s right. Bitchin’ Yara deserved a shot at love. She definitely has her own story outside of Bitchin’ and will experience a lot of growth in the future.

“God, I know. I do not miss that temper of his.” She chuckled, her words piquing your interest.

“Temper?”

“Oh, yeah. Have you seriously not experienced it yet? He’s got some gnarly anger issues. Not to mention all the lying…” Kiri paused suddenly, straightening up as she flashed you an apologetic look. “Yikes, I’m sorry. I totally should not be telling you this. I’m not trying to be that gross girl that shit talks her ex to his current girlfriend.”

Miss Kiri, Miss Kiri. She really acted up this chapter didn’t she. There was a lot of discussion about whether or not those things she said about Jungkook were true. Which was exactly what I wanted hehe. We come to find out that Kiri had definitely stretched the truth. She really is good at manipulation and understanding how people think and it’s why she is in the role that she is in. Messy queen.

CHAPTER SEVEN – THE ROOFTOP DATE

This entire chapter was inspired by High School Musical with Troy and Gabriella’s rooftop garden scenes. This was my shortest chapter and honestly, probably not my strongest. I definitely went into writing this with zero concept of what I actually wanted to happen. Usually when I write my chapters I have a 4k long outline of it beforehand that I go off of. Not this one though. I really just winged it and I tried my best to write a chapter that really showed off (dialogue wise) just how this couple bounces off each other. I do really like some of the banter they have in this chapter.

You had taken note a little wooden popsicle stick poking up from the soil of the yellow flowers. Acacias, they were marked. Pulling your knees up to your chest, you considered his words.

Yellow acacias stands the value of true friendship and can indicate a secret love! I thought that was very appropriate given these dummies' relationship.

“So, you probably know why I brought you here.”

You nodded.

“You’re proposing, right?”

“Yeah, I– oh, shut up.” He laughed, the serious mood shattering as you joined him.

Even though I knew they were going to have a semi serious talk, what with Y/N asking about what Kiri had told her, these two dufuses realistically are just too comfortable with each other to stay serious for too long.

“Hey, I said that out of frustration, I didn’t really mean it. I’m sure she’ll come crawling back soon.” You attempted to comfort him, hoping to sound sincere.

“Even if that’s true, I’m not entirely sure I want that anymore.”

“What?” You blinked. Jungkook shrugged.

“What about us?” He met your eyes, causing your breath to hitch.

“What about us?”

Jungkook stared at you for a moment, noting the way the timber in your voice had become higher pitched as if panicked.

MORE FUN FACTS LMFAO: I typically do this thing with unplanned chapters where I just go for it and write and usually it works out. But when I wrote this down I remember stopping and being like ??? WHY DID I JUST WRITE THAT ??? I don’t like deleting my writing so I had a serious think to myself about whether this was going to be the moment Jungkook confessed or not.

Canonly, I decided that Jungkook did in fact mean ‘us’ in a romantic sense, but because of the way you perceivably panicked at that possible meaning, he decided against taking the conversation in that direction, instead speaking about ‘us’ in a platonic sense. Poor kookie :(

“Stop. Listen to me, Jungkook, you’re a fucking great guy, okay? You’re charismatic and funny and care about your friends… sure, you almost ruined my event, but it was mostly to defend my best friend when Eunwoo got too pushy, right? You’re a good guy, meathead. I know I joke about your ego, but I really believe you’re capable of more than you think you are. Seriously, Kiri is so lucky to be the object of your affection.”

Jungkook watched the way the sun’s orange light kissed your face, a bittersweet feeling growing in his chest as he contemplated the object of his affection. Just a couple of months ago, he would have had no doubt about who held his heart, but as you held his stare, he found himself unsure and yet, entirely sure all the same.

“Jungkook? You okay?” You frowned, catching in the sadness in his eyes.

“Hm? Yeah, yeah. I just… realized something.”

“Oh? What’s that?”

“…It doesn’t matter.” He smiled, the gesture hardly reaching his eyes.

It’s in this moment that Jungkook decides that there is no way you hold the same affection towards him that he does to you. He mistakes your words of comfort as you pushing him away. You are so kind and encouraging and Jungkook loves you so much that hearing you insist about him ending back up with Kiri hurts him so bad.

But you are still unsure about your feelings and genuinely believe that's still what Jungkook wants. You’re just being a supportive friend!! :( It isn’t until the end of this chapter when Y/N has her talk with Yara that she realizes, oh man, she’s in deep.

CHAPTER EIGHT – THE MISTAKE

BLAH. This chapter is so BLAH, you know? Having to write this chapter was SO HARD. I texted irl Yara complaining about how much I hated having to put my characters through this and that I wanted to just end the story on chapter 7 and keep them happy forever. BUT ALAS! I had planned for this to happen from the start.

You tasted like the mint of your favorite brand of toothpaste. He imagined if he had caught you any later then the mint would have been accompanied by the taste of coffee, knowing the way you rarely started a day without a cup.

God, he had missed the taste of you.

What you guys didn’t see is Jungkook spending the night with Kiri, and immediately kicking her out, freaking out as the weight of guilt washed over him. He knew he had done nothing wrong, that you weren’t his real girlfriend, and that getting back together with Kiri was exactly what he had signed up for. It was what he should’ve wanted. But it wasn't… because you were what he wanted. And that was exactly what he was going to tell you as he marched over to your apartment.

But he panicked. His mind already decided that your answer to him would be no– that you didn’t feel the same. So he kissed you. He had you in the only way he was allowed to. He was selfish and impulsive and so incredibly scared that he ended up hurting the person he loved the most.

Initially though, I had Jungkook get back together with Kiri, not that he slept with her right before sleeping with Y/N. But I decided TEEHEE let me just make everything erupt into flames. However, I didn’t realize just how angry with Jungkook you guys would get. I remember thinking DAMMIT WAS THAT TOO SCANDALOUS?? I knew I was going to have to work hard for Jungkook to redeem himself to my readers.

“She wants to get back together.” Jungkook swallowed dryly, eyes wavering between yours as if to gauge your reaction.

“…Oh.”

You shook your head.

“I mean, wow! That’s… That’s great!” You smiled, something tearing apart inside you as the words left your lips.

“Y/N–”

“Seriously! This means it worked, right? This is exactly what you wanted to happen.” You enthused, turning your head so that he couldn’t see the way your eyes had welled up.

Jungkook’s heart was pounding in his ears, fighting the urge to wrap his arms around you.

“Yeah… yeah, no, you’re right. We did it.” He replied monotonously.

GOD THIS PART IS SO UNBELIEVABLY FRUSTRATING! JUST ADMIT YOU LOVE EACH OTHER YOU MORONS! This entire situation is so convoluted because there's so much information missing and not being expressed, I seriously want to ring my own neck rereading this bit.

“Are you mad?” He called out cautiously, a heavy feeling falling onto his chest.

“Why would I be mad?” You quipped back sharply, causing Jungkook to flinch. He shifted in his seat uncomfortably.

“I just thought… I mean we’ve been fooling around a lot lately, so I didn’t know if—”

“If what? I had feelings for you?” You scoffed. “Please, as if I’d ever fall for you.”

And there it was— everything Jungkook already knew but had been so afraid to hear. Of course, you didn’t feel for him what he felt for you. How could he have expected anything different?

IDIOTS!!! THEY'RE BOTH IDIOTS!!! I don't know how y'all put up with this for so long. Forgive me.

CHAPTER NINE – THE BREAK

Okay I actually love this chapter. And for many reasons. Let me break down the three scenes for you guys.

Scene one: Kiri confrontation

Kiri is definitely an opposing antagonist. She is constantly working against Y/N because of their interests directly conflicting. BUT. I would argue that the biggest antagonist to this story is the inner ones – Y/N and Jungkook's lack of ability to admit their feelings constantly holding them both back from their happy ending. That being said, a confrontation scene between Y/N and Kiri was MUCH needed. While I suppose I can understand why Kiri doesn't like Y/N, that doesn't change the fact that she has been disrespectful and catty. So miss Y/N had to put Miss Kiri in her place (•̀ᴗ•́)

Scene two: Yara and Tae at the library

Fanservice. That is all. LMFAOOO y'all reallllyyy wanted it to happen and who am I to deny my people what they want. It was really fun getting to explore my side characters and develop them through interactions outside the two main characters. IRL Yara also mentioned giving bitchin’ Yara and Tae their own chapter as a joke and I was like LOL BET. I fully was going to but then I got the idea for the next scene and was like ahh ok maybe not the whole chapter.

Scene three: Meeting with Erik

So. This was a SUPER last minute decision. Like, it wasn’t until I was writing this chapter that I planned on Erik making an appearance. I saw a tweet with someone saying their bitchin theories and they mentioned Erik appearing out of nowhere and I was like,,, HOLD ON!!!! That could be kind of spicy ≖‿≖ 

I knew for a fact JK was NOT going to be forgiven in this chapter; I needed a way to lay the situation out between the two dorks without trying to seem like I was trying to sway my audience in a way that didn't make sense to the story. Y/N was rightfully angry. But she wasn't only angry about the timing of the sex. She was angry that Jungkook went back to Kiri at all and there was no way she was going to admit that. So who better to lay it all out than calculated, unbiased third party Erik. He deserved some character development after all.

I also liked the idea that Y/N had, in theory, “romantic options.” Losing Jungkook didn’t mean the end of her life. Having my female lead stand on her own was very important to me.

CHAPTER TEN – THE END

RIGHT OF THE BAT I needed Jungkook to suffer. So that whole scene where he tries to interact with his old group only for his presence to make everything awkward MMMM yes, sweet revenge on my part.

You were surprised. His hair was no longer shaggy and long like you remembered it. Instead, it had been freshly cut, looking healthy and neatly styled for the first time since you met Jungkook.

THE WAY SO MANY PEOPLE COMMENTED ON THIS LINE “but Y/N liked it long?!?”  IS SO FUNNNYyyyy. So let me clarify a thing. Jungkook had always wanted to cut his hair right. The only reason he didn’t was because Y/N told him not to. With Y/N no longer in the picture to convince him out of it, he cut his hair. That’s really all there is to it skfjsjf.

You know, I had written this part around the time I had just finished up the third ch believe it or not. And it was COMPLETELY different. I had it planned that Yara and Y/N ignored him throughout class and Yara had gone back after the bell rang to go verbally assault JK. And as the two hashed it out, only then was that when Jungkook would realize that he liked Y/N after Yara literally spelled it out for him.

“You like her, dumbass!” Was what I had written Yara saying. I really had written him in denial for ten chapters, I was a whole sociopath (╥﹏╥). But ultimately, I decided that Jungkook came to that conclusion on his own and the decision to apologize to Y/N would have been made over winter break.

“You said Kiri came over asking for you back, yet you still came over and slept with me the next day. Even though the two of you had sex the night before. Do you understand how that makes me feel?”

“I’m—”

“Like garbage!" You emphasized, the white paint of the door somehow irritating you further. "I felt like I was something you threw away and picked back up whenever you felt like getting your dick wet.”

Your chest was rising and falling rapidly, and you tried your hardest to not let your emotions get the best of you.

“Not to mention to everyone else, it looks like you cheated on me. Which makes me look like a fucking idiot." You scoffed.

Jungkook said nothing in reply, which somehow made it easier to say all you should have said that day in your room.

“It just sucks to realize that someone you once cared about sees you as nothing more than a toy. It fucking sucks.”

Man :( writing this hurt my heart. I really, really, love bitchin!y/n and writing her hurting freaking stinks. But she had to speak her mind. She deserves the chance to get everything off her chest with the way Jungkook hurt her.

Your heart and mind were in constant paradox, torn between wanting him back and wanting him to know just how much he had hurt you. Your mind ultimately won the battle, of course, but as Jungkook stood just a few inches of drywood apart pouring his heart out, it was hard to say which major organ was responsible for your next words.

The creak of the door being pushed open sent Jungkook's eyes wide, revealing your hesitant form. You had your arms crossed over your chest as if to guard the contents inside of it.

You looked like an angel underneath the bathroom's blue fluorescent lights, beautiful and lovely, a stark contrast from your next crushing sentence.

“I slept with Erik.”

Hehe. Ofc my girl Y/N had to have a rebound!!! She knows that life goes on. However, as I wrote in, she definitely regretted it. It was kind of the same situation that Jungkook was in where he pursued something just because it was familiar and a distraction and not because he really wanted it. Both Y/N and Jungkook are flawed characters but that’s okay! If anything, Y/N’s mistake of sleeping with Erik is what allows her to forgive Jungkook. Knowing first hand how complicated their entire relationship really was.

“I don’t need you… but I don’t think I want a life without you.” You finished shyly.

Your eyes were locked with his when suddenly a small noise escaped him, eyes pulling away from yours as his head moved to attempt to hide the way his eyes had grown wet.

I got this line from one of my best friends after her ex broke up with her. It made me physically sad and really sympathize with her so I quickly wrote it down into my notes app to save for later LMAOOOO. Knowing that you are your own person and life will inevitably go on after losing someone, but that your heart still wants and is pleading for the one person you can’t have. SO SAD. I’m happy I got to use this line in one of my fics.

The note Jungkook wrote Y/N,,, imagine him not being able to sleep one night over winter break so he just writes down everything he should have told Y/N while he still had the chance…. I’ll for real cry dude, he’s so cute. Also, the line about him buying you fluffy Halloween socks for Christmas went over people’s heads I think but HECK I THOUGHT THAT WAS SO FUNNY AND SWEET (because Y/N bought Christmas socks when it was Halloween teehee).

"Are you two dorks done crying?" Yara’s voice rang out suddenly, causing both of you to jump apart.

"Yara, you creep! Privacy, dude! Ever try knocking?" You sniffed, wiping at your face hurriedly.

"What? Like you were peeing with Jungkook in the bathroom? Please." She waved you off, walking back into the living room to give you two some privacy. She did say Jungkook had 15 minutes before she’d have to come back in after all. "Anyway, Tae will be over in 10 minutes for the Saved By The Bell marathon that’s on so you guys are more than welcomed to join." She called out from her newly seated position on the couch.

I included this scene with Yara because things were getting too serious for my liking ngl. Plus the idea that the four of them would all come together at the end for a much needed reunion made my happy bitchin heart soar.

Jungkook let out a laugh, his palm finding your cheek, eyes locked on your lips. You were preening for his kiss, mouth parting slightly as you anticipated it.

“Partners?”

The question took you by surprise, eyes widening at your not so pretend lover.

Idiot.

“Partners.” You smiled softly, eyes shiny and brimming with tears as he kissed you for what must have been the millionth time, but still somehow felt like the first.

UGH I LOVE THEM I REALLY DO. I was so happy with how this final scene came out :( They’re partners, they really are I miss these boneheads.

AND NOW, I PRESENT THE CANON FUTURE OF THE BITCHIN UNIVERSE...

10 YEARS LATER

Let’s be honest, Jungkook popped the question the day of graduation, he can’t imagine a life in which you wouldn’t be beside him

You said yes (shocker)

Cue Jungkook being the most wonderful partner and respecting your wish to finish your residency program before having the wedding

You absolutely kick ass at being a neonatal surgeon

Also, Jungkook started a film company! It’s small but he loves what he does and works with colleges and helps out the film majors with resources and equipment <3

SO IT'S THE DAY OF YOUR WEDDING RIGHT

Yara and your sisters are helping you get ready, with your best friend as the ever so reassuring maid of honor

And by that I mean you’re as calm as a cucumber and Yara is one wrong move away from having a stroke

“Y/N… Don’t freak out....The catering company put in two orders of shrimp instead of chicken and steak.”

“Yara, it’s okay.”

“NO ITS NOT???? THIS IS YOUR WEDDING DAY AND YOU’RE GETTING CRUSTACEANS.”

Y/N making Yara take a seat and practice some breathing exercises so she doesn’t upset the baby

Oh yeah, Yara is 10 weeks pregnant

Taehyung is the dad lol

Yara and Taehyung have been together ever since that day at the library hehe <3

They moved in together and adopted a cat and everything (sweet boy Tae wanted a dog but Yara’s afraid of dogs and Tae would do anything for that woman so Yeontan the cat it is)

Yara refuses to put a label on their relationship even after all this time, and Tae doesn’t ask for one. They’re happy and dedicated to each other and don’t feel the need to put pressure on something that’s already so perfect

Yara is actually violently in love with Tae but still scoffs when Y/N tries to bring it up

“Oh my god, you’re so in love with him”

“Huh??? you must be sick or something. Get well soon, damn :/”

Yara likes to come up with different labels for Taehyung every time she has to introduce him. Among her favorites are roommate, rent sharer, baby daddy and penis lender

Speaking of Taehyung, he’d have a hand on Jungkook’s shoulder as he tries to calm down the panicking groom to be

“JK, breathe.”

“What if she doesn’t show up? What if she doesn’t want to marry me? What if I pressured her into this and— and I’ve freaked her out and now she hates me?”

“Dude, you guys have been engaged for eight years. She’s had her opportunity to run. She’ll show up.”

Taehyung scruffing up the younger man’s hair reassuringly, which only flusters him more because DAMMIT he wants to look perfect for you and now his hair is messed up >:(

(You like him no matter what his hair looks like though)

Jungkook literally swallowing down a sob as you walk down the aisle and he lays his eyes on you for the first time

You having a dumb smile on your face the entire walk over because your husband to be is crying and you haven’t even exchanged vows yet

The entire audience going all sobby when you finally do exchange vows because they’re so beautiful and real

The ten years together has not been easy— from financial struggles as you tried to support yourself through med school, to personal conflicts when Jungkook wanted to start a family already

But you guys figured it out

You always do

He’s your person. And you are his.

Y/N’s sisters Rosa and Lia are a WRECK— even your dad is tearing up

Your family loves Jungkook and have been counting down the days until you guys married, let’s be honest

“You may now kiss the bride.”

Jungkook punching the air with a “FINALLY!” before kissing the hell out of you

The cutting of the cake inevitably turning into a food fight

The shrimp entrees turning out to be pretty damn good

Yara catching the bouquet and wagging her brows at Taehyung suggestively

Jungkook pulling you aside to take photos of you outside the venue because you look so so pretty and he loves the way you smile when he’s the one behind the camera

The party is in full session, your siblings tearing up the dance floor like the extroverts they are

You and Jungkook are sat at the head of the room, hands intertwined underneath the table as you watch a tired and painfully sober Yara swing her bare feet onto Taehyung’s lap, requesting a foot rub

Watching your pregnant best friend and her lover together, you turned towards your own, smile impossibly wide

“What?”

“Let’s have a baby.” You’d grin, so stupid happy

Jungkook’s eyes going round and immediately jumping up from his seat because god that’s all he’s ever wanted

Being tugged out the room by a giddy Jungkook, one of your heels flinging off somewhere behind you.

“What’s happening? Where are we going?!”

The two of you find yourself in a storage room somewhere on the hotel floor

“Jeon Jungkook, what the hell—“

His mouth find yourself, kissing you in a way that couldn’t at the altar

You kissed him back without questions, arms wrapping around the man you now called your husband

“I love you.” He’d sigh into your neck, his hot breath causing you to shiver

“I love you too.”

“Let’s make a baby.”

“Yeah let’s— wait, right here? Right now?!”

Jungkook merely nodding as his mouth found the exposed skin of your chest

“Meathead, we can’t just ditch our wedding to have sex!”

“Why not? We did our marital duties. Now it’s our guests' job to get embarrassingly drunk and make a fool of themselves on the dance floor. No one will even miss us.”

“Isn’t baby making what our honeymoon is for?”

“Screw that. I’ve done my waiting. Let’s start our family, nerd.”

Jungkook kissing your protests silent before you inevitably give in and let him take you right there and then, your wedding dress hung around your hips

Husband and wife coming together with shaky breaths and hushed moans as they promise the rest of their lives to each other, making every argument, struggle or moment of uncertainty leading up to now totally worth it

Walk of shame back into the party with nervous hair fixing from you and a proud grin from Jungkook

Yara figuring out exactly why you two had sneaked off to, flashing the newly weds a knowing smirk

The night of your wedding, Jungkook surprises you with a present

You unwrap it in confusion, only to see that it’s a glass frame and inside of it is the wrinkled and worn out lined paper the two of you had scribbled on many many years ago

Jungkook hangs up the contract right above your bed as per your request, smiling as he does and jumping on him the moment he puts down the hammer bc dammit it you’re too heckin excited to make love with your sentimental loser of a husband

And yes, by the next month, you are pregnant and incredibly happy

And of course, your daughter and Yara’s son grow up to be best friends, not a family holiday passing by where they aren’t told the story of the totally bitchin’ way both set of their parents got together

#beyond the story #bts smut #Jungkook smut #bts jungkook #bts #bts imagines #bts preferences #Jungkook x reader #jeon jungkook

[gaykey]

Itsay anon here ❤️ tbh the reason I don’t feel bad at all for teh is bc of his weak ass explanations and excuses... your boyfriend of three years, your BEST FRIEND, caught you cheating and realized you are totally into someone else (bc you didn’t do ANYTHING to hide it from him since you think only about yourself, MAY I ADD!!!) and the one thing you have to say it’s that you never thought about breaking up with him?! Really?! What the fuck does that even mean, when you go and declare your feelings for someone else, just to get shot down?! Bc that’s what happened!! Jai is an asshole, ok, but honestly i’m not even mad about his behavior... it was crystal clear to me that he was doing all that just to get teh into the play’s character, and it should have been clear to Teh too. Teh knows Jai is involved with that lady, and when they talked about Jai’s ex is obvious that he’s still into him... yet teh still chooses to get himself involved with him. He still chooses to kiss him and prioritize him over his actual boyfriend and to LIE to oh aew’s face telling him it was just a rehearsal and to don’t misunderstand what he saw. Ultimately, Teh is the one who’s in a relationship and fucks it up over a “connection” with someone who just acted towards him like Teh kinda wanted him to. I personally think that Jai is a dickhead, but I don’t care about his motives and I don’t think he’s to blame for anything that happened. When Teh follows him like a lovesick puppy and basically tells him that he loves him, all the while not giving a fuck about Oh Aew sitting right fucking there, that’s on Teh. Serenading him while duetting with his fucking boyfriend, that’s on Teh. These are disgusting things to do to someone you “love”. I swear to god i felt so humiliated and like 1 cm tall while i was watching those scenes, bc i kept thinking how cruel it was to put someone through something like that. so, again, what the fuck does that mean that teh never meant to break up with Oh Aew??? How was that supposed to work out??? Even the way Teh repeats that he loves Oh Aew and that he wants another chance feels cheap and performative. He should be begging, he should be devastated seeing Oh Aew like that, but he’s just scared and confused. Ultimately i feel like their break up shakes him just because he didn’t expect Oh to be so firm and strong and bc he doesn’t know how life is supposed to be without Oh Aew in it, not because he’s still in love with him... and that’s what’s sad. Oh Aew is clearly still in love and devastated (when his friends all cuddle him on the floor... my fucking heaaaartttttttt), Teh is just... shocked? Lonely? I don’t know, but his pain feels like something entirely his, not /theirs/. He has a fuckload of growing up to do, he has to learn the real meaning of love and respect and accountability, and the fact he’s so quick to jump on the management deal even at those conditions tells me he just wants to put everything he did wrong behind him and to never think back about it again... IT DOESN’T WORK LIKE THAT TEH, YOU DUMB FUCK.

And about my poor baby Oh Aew... we already saw people hitting on him out of nowhere, so maybe he’ll get some love elsewhere. I really hope he does 😭 i just remembered how surprised he was when bas held his hand in public, after all the shit teh pulled in ep4... he really needs to see how big and full of promises is the world out there 😭 my baby 😭😭😭 seriously i need him to be so loved he doesn’t know what to do with himself 😔

Tbh i feel like they’re gonna end this season with them broken up and if there’s a third one that’s where they’re going to make them find their way back... after they’ve lived a little and experienced/conquered the world as individuals. That would be the only way i’d accept a reconciliation, tbh 😤

anoooon yeeees

god just yeah to all of this.

what does that mean?? so, teh you never thought about breaking up with oh aew, but you thought if, and actively did cheat on him so?? what? you just expected him to go along with it?

oooooooh teh not necessarily being sad about oh aew leaving him because he loveshim, and he's heartbroken, but more because oh aew not being in his life doesn't fit into his perfect plan be had, and he doesn't know how to deal with that...!

oh man that HITS.

it's been made very clear from the first ep that teh likes the idea of oh aew more than the reality. or at least the idea of the younger oh aew he knew. not this more mature, more confident, more independent person he's become.

god, yeah, i'd honestly love if they did a third season about their reconciliation

a bit like we best love, where they're older and have more life experience, and have natured. so their love feels more......worked on? does that make sense? earned?

grown and evolved maybe fits better.

anyway, yes yes yes, thank you for this! i love your insights <3

#i could have gone on way more #itsay anon #ipytm spoilers #i promised you the moon

[caffiine]

A BRIEF PAUSE

From my regularly scheduled content. I’ve got some shit to say, y’all (forewarning for spicy language and spoilers)

I thought about making this post on my fandom subblog but this show and this relationship have been TOO important to me for the past 8 years to not give it its proper place in my life. strap in bc im not sure how long this mf is about to be.

When i started this DUMB show at age 19 tortured soul “empath” dark academia me thought sam winchester was going to be my favourite character. and don’t @ me, i love sam now in his own right (and we deserve some SAILEEN PEOPLE). but after literally less than 5 episodes i KNEW dean’s character and his arc were going to be amazing and beautiful and he immediately became my favourite brother. The nuances of his character i.e. his shell vs his true self were so evident to me even in the first couple seasons. in my humble opinion, he had the most growth of the two brothers.

They all deserve to be happy, but for whatever FUCKING reason dean has the HARDEST TIME OF ANYONE being happy in this show. I know it’s his character. I know it was written that way. But FFS.  I kept wondering when they were going to wrap up his emotional arc and stop torturing the poor dude.

then in season 4 they introduced castiel and 1) I thought the new concept of angels as assholes was super cool and 2) I hardcore SIMPED over misha collins (still do). I watched benignly as cas and dean began to form this relationship that seemed pretty special. I started watching the show when it was in its eighth season and I binged the shit out of it for two weeks until I was caught up. By the time I was caught up I was CERTAIN there were some feelings between them and I LOVED it. I am bisexual and I was ECSTATIC for a potential queer relationship between two masculine-portrayed dudes. I went on tumblr to express my newfound theory, only to find out that this was a real THING. “Destiel” was already an idea that had absolutely and intensely BLOSSOMED in the fandom  for several seasons already. So many others saw what I saw and saw the potential of emotionally tortured/constipated “daddy’s blunt instrument” dean and the unfeeling daddy’s boy cas “crack in his chassis” Winchester being allowed to be happy together. I felt validated and hopeful. For a while.

Then it was season after season of hopefulness for them to be finally happy with each other while still fighting the ills of their world with sam and the other new members of their family that were added along the way, only to constantly have that hope seemingly teased away at the end every single time. By season 11 and the introduction of amara (not bashing, eventually loved her character and her development too) I gave up. I lost hope. I stopped watching the show. I didn’t want to keep watching my two favourite characters continuously abused by the story they were thrown into.

I know not everyone likes destiel, not everyone thought it was real. That’s chill, idc. Stories are so often meant to be (and sometimes inadvertently) left up to interpretation by the person experiencing and consuming them. It’s what’s so amazing about books and shows and movies that are able to make us feel so intensely about them and their characters. And I felt SO strongly about dean and cas. It was honestly really upsetting to me, the way the show was going with their relationship.

A while later season 13 had been going on and I started seeing some things pop up on my dash. Hopeful things. I did a bit of research and accidentally saw THE SCENE from season 12 and I couldn’t help myself. I restarted it. I watched the whole thing from the beginning again AND introduced it to my boyfriend I think partially as a way to ensure I wasn’t imagining shit (it took him awhile and a lot of me internally screaming during many scenes but by season 9 he was like “uh are they in gay love”). Fast forward to me finally catching up as season 14 was starting. I was still hopeful, somehow. And it happened AGAIN. Season 14 and the beginnings of 15 made me so sad. I HATED what they did with their relationship. I HATED the way it ended. I HATED the way dean treated cas and everyone around him. It felt like the show was taking his whole character arc back to day 1. I didn’t understand. I kept watching for a couple episodes after the big argument and cas left but the luster was gone and eventually I just stopped.

I love this show. It has meant so much to me as a story. So many of the characters are/were very dear to me. I know it’s a running joke with this show about character deaths and homophobia but the strength of the bond I felt was between cas and dean gave me a lot of hope. But it wasn’t enough. I felt betrayed one too many times. And for those of you who kept watching, for whatever reason, I don’t hold it against you. It’s still a beautiful and interesting story without cas and dean’s relationship. But I just personally couldn’t do it anymore.

I hadn’t planned on watching the rest of season 15 when it came back after pandemic hiatus, at least not for awhile. So imagine my FUCKING surprise when I was doom scrolling through twitter during election week on Thursday and I see supernatural trending right along with election shit.

What.

I couldn’t stop myself, I looked and literally SCREAMED and made my boyfriend spill his wine all over our couch. I didn’t know exactly what happened as I hadn’t seen the episode but APPARENTLY all my emotions and feelings had been at least partially vindicated. So I BOUGHT season 15 so I could finish watching where I had left off. I watched 8 episodes in less than 24hrs (don’t judge me there’s a quarantine) and I LIKED them. And it might’ve been bc I knew what was about to happen in 15 x18 but I really felt like the show was getting STRONGER as it neared its finish.

I was so excited for 15x19. I read so many posts from fellow fans, destiel and antis alike. There really weren’t a lot of bad emotions running around. Everyone seemed hopeful and excited like me.

I probably don’t need to go over 15x19 emotions but im going to anyway. I was disappointed. I was confused. I was angry. we are in season 15. The last season ever for this show that has had a HUGE following of fans who have loved it, sometimes unconditionally, sometimes even though it wasn’t the best (and sometimes less than good). A season and show that had just announced YES. CAS LOVES DEAN. ITS REAL. And I shouldn’t have to go over the nuances of why we would expect more after this, with two episodes to go before the show is done forever.

But I will bc im mad af.

Like I said in the beginning. Dean’s character arc has been incredible. His emotional growth – as subtle as it might’ve seemed – has been amazing. And dean has always been an emotional, loving person. he just felt like he wasn’t because the world made him feel that way. And that’s sad, y’all. Dean deserves to realize he DESERVES happiness. And in 15x18, we were finally heading basically directly there. With destiel, yes, but even if you’re anti, what cas said to dean about who he is and why he loves him obviously struck a fucking chord with dean. It obviously changed the way he viewed himself (RE: “that’s not who I am, that’s not who we are”).

But for WHATEVER reason that’s ALL we got in 15x19. One fucking SENTENCE about dean realizing maybe he’s not just built to kill people. And then jack leaves without a single mention of Eileen or cas or Charlie or literally anyone they ever cared about and dean rode off into the sunset alone with his brother while we watched a fucking FIVE MINUTE MONTAGE that made me want to hurl my own body into the sun they were driving toward. And cas is STILL DEAD.

BUT THERE’S STILL ONE EPISODE LEFT AND FUCK ME IF I HAVENT BEEN PAINTING ON MY CLOWN MAKEUP ALL WEEK. SO WHAT DO I WANT????

ONE: DEAN DESERVES HAPPINESS. REAL HAPPINESS. What the FUCK supernatural??? Wasn’t this the whole point of his arc??? And don’t get me wrong I REALLY want that happiness to come from Cas and a real spoken relationship of some sort between them bc it also ties in with my second point but tbh just PLEASE let dean be happy. Dean is a loving person and does everything for love as we JUST FOUND OUT. Dean would NOT be happy with everyone he’s ever loved gone for the rest of his life. I just don’t believe that’s fucking true. h elp him pls.

TWO: CAS DESERVES HAPPINESS. I know we got this whole speech about “happiness isn’t in the having it’s simply in being”  but like. Really. Castiel was supposed to be a throwaway character no one was supposed to care about. But we all cared SO MUCH that he lasted 11 SEASONS longer than intended and became a main character and an integral part of the story. Cas has arguably sacrificed more than anyone on this show. His last act was to sacrifice his life to save the man he loved. He knew where he was going. He knew he was finally going to be able to tell dean he loved him and then immediately be taken by the empty where we know now thanks to season 15 that everyone in there just gets to dream forever about their regrets and sadness. HOW IS THAT FAIR. HOW IS THAT A GOOD ENDING FOR CAS. HOW DO YOU EXPECT ANYONE – CHARACTERS AND FANS ALIKE –TO BE HAPPY ABOUT THAT. Its messed up, supernatural. Y’all KNOW it is and I hope to HIGH HEAVENS this is going to be corrected in 15x20.

THREE: give sam Eileen back. 

Well that’s all I’ve got in me, folks. I’m absolutely and intensely dreading Thursday. Im scared and nervous and obviously still angry that this is absolutely going to be the opposite of what they promised – another “game of thrones” ending. Some of y’all are giving me hope with your posts about maybe they’re trying to keep the ending a surprise and maybe cas is coming back and how can they not and why else would they have done the second to last episode like that and I hope yall are right.

Either way, im glad I am not alone with my feelings. Thanks yall for the experience of this fandom and show. Let’s stick together on Thursday, no matter our differences.

 PS stop calling jensen ackles a homophobe or ill hex you. 

#supernatural #destiel #deancas #oh and #saileen #just to make sure theyre not forgotten #dean winchester #castiel #Misha Collins #jensen ackles #15x18 #15x20 #15x19 #i fucking guess #dean x castiel #casdean #castiel x dean #supernatural season 15

[bloededhoine]

okay i saw this trend going around and decided to give it a try: making my sister vibe check the witcher characters!

warning: she's really mean

machacho (what the fuck kind of name is that?)

buff. everyone knows it bc he enters a room by groaning loudly and complaining about “wow it’s so hard to bench press 500 lbs like wow i wish i could just do like 110 and get a workout but im so buff I can’t smh”. lowkey hated by everyone but still gets the ladies. 100% would ditch you in the morning and then forget he fucked you and try to hit on you in two months if you had different hair. alcohol. 1/10 sorry (you should be you bitch that's my husband)

henrietta

gives off super bitch energy. but not always a bitch. also she loves that her reputation is that she’s a bitch. but a serious badass. could kill you. if you fucked her and like ran out in the morning she’d find u and cut ur dick off (accurate). but also can be a pussy ngl (you are what you eat ig). she’s like either a bitchy simp or an independent badass. no in between. 4/10 (why 4/10 that's so low what the fuck?)

josh

john paul jones is his style inspiration (???). wack. broods for fun. if he’s brooding don’t interrupt. can’t deal with emotions. like seriously dude plz go to therapy (true). but he’d rather die than admit he needs help emotionally. thinks he wants a girlfriend and when he gets one he bolts immediately bc commitment issues. then lowkey feels bad and wonders why it keeps happening. see again: go to therapy 6/10

brad

really good at commanding armies. really bad at emotions. he’s great at winning wars but still can’t grasp that human life is...ahem...valuable. like would be confused why ppl were mad if he sent all his soldiers to their death if they ended up winning the battle (ok of everyone on this list he looks LEAST like a soldier whatttttt). 3/10

broderick

acts tough. lowkey a softie but doesn’t know how to be. emotionally stunted. thinks peak flirting is like punching women (JAJSJDJD). loves playing mario kart and would 100% destroy the console if he lost. absolutely loves beer. like beer is his best friend (beer and dandelion). not great with money. but again, he really does want to be nice he just legit has no clue how. also his friends aren’t exactly helpful in that department (his friends are idiots so yeah). 6/10

triss lite (THATS SO FUCKING RUDE)

mean but tough. like super tough. could cut you. drinks misogynist’s tears for breakfast. absolutely hates the patriarchy. not great on racism tho (???). gets into trouble bc she sometimes forgets that she doesn’t need to be mean around people who like aren’t misogynists. like will sometimes say really mean shit to her friends and then they get hurt. cannot apologize. like cannot. 5/10

joker (i mean... yeah)

dumb. and annoying. like he pisses me off. i don’t like him. not like a mean person just fucking annoying. like bro shut up. would not think sexism, homophobia or racism exist. not because he’s a sexist, homophobe, or racist. but bc he’s just really dumb. 2/10 (finally some good fucking analysis)

angie

feminist icon. but lowkey a man hater. it’s iconic tho we forgive it. would rather die than be in a relationship with a man. does not know fear. 100% carries ninja stars wherever she goes and is freakishly good at wielding them (it do be kinda canon tho). her fav pastime is going to bars and getting guys to buy her drinks. then when they go to talk to her she throws the drink in their faces. intimidating with good reason 8/10

stupid face (THATS UNCALLED FOR WHAT THE FUCK)

cannot bathe. does not know hygiene. super powerful tho. but like when u enter his castle it just smells so fuckin bad (what??). people are scared of him but they shouldn’t be. he’s a pussy. cannot command an army at all (yeah). literally would cry if someone tried to fight him 0/10

chad

loves frats. like thinks they’re the cornerstones of America. 100% thinks spain is the same thing as mexico. ceo of “I can’t be misogynistic my girlfriend is a woman”. but doesn’t have a girlfriend. just one night stands. would def has a note on his phone ranking the girls he sleeps with and doesn’t refer to them by name. just like “long legs, c cup 6/10” (EXCUSE YOU HE DRINKS HIS RESPECT WOMEN JUICE BY THE GALLON). got the scar bc he tried to be an asshole to angie (GOT THE SCAR CAUSE HIS DAUGHTER IS KINDA A DEMON). -1000/10

hit the 10 image limit but let me know if you want more!

#she did eskel absolutely dirty #the witcher #witcher humor #eskel #lambert #philippa #philippa eilhart #roche #vernon roche #olgierd von everec #wild hunt #blood and wine #hearts of stone #gen tag #vibe check tag #mine #haven't got a fucking queue

[stormyskies-and-darklies]

SPOILER ALERT: The Walking Dead Seasons 1-5 + New Viewer Thoughts

so i started watching the walking dead last month and i have so many thoughts, so i decided to compile them into one place so far. i might forget a few moments and i might forget a few character names so, sorry 🤷🏽‍♀️ this isn’t in chronological order, but i’ll try my best to do that, but i’m writing these as i remember the moments. if you haven’t watched it, you’ve been warned !

even if Rick was dead, it’s still really messed up for the best friend and wife to get together

i think Rick had every right to hand cuff Myrle to the pole. there’s no time to be disrespectful for no reason. you can’t be an ass to someone and then expect them to help you. i did slightly feel bad when they left him on the roof but it’s what he deserves

when Rick met up with the group, i honestly thought Lori didn’t really love him anymore during the rest of the time

i miss the farm a lot. it was nice and cute :/

Sophia wouldn’t have died if Rick told her to stay instead of run back 🙊

the build up to finding Sophia was longer than it needed to be

Maggie flipping out on Lori and yelling her business out loud was a little uncalled for. yeah, she almost died but she should’ve known the risk and even if she was mad, she still didn’t have to yell it out loud for people to potentially hear

Dale was always trying to get into everyone’s business, it was sad when he died but idk how i really felt about him

they really should’ve let Andrea die early on if she was going to continue to be whiny. if she really wanted to die, she could’ve done it by runing off and getting bit or by shooting herself at any time. i didn’t like Andrea much, especially in the third ? season (the one leading up to her death)

Shane and that dumb face whenever he was mad 🙄

I liked Shane at first but then he got annoying. What part of you can’t love your best friend’s wife don’t you understand ??

I feel bad for that kid that Shane tricked and killed in the woods

I also feel really bad for Otis. Who knows if they could’ve made it

The prison was okay but it made sense as a good shelter. It’s unfortunate how much supplies they lost.

I’m so glad Rick killed the leader of that prison gang!

I understand Lori’s death, but her body didn’t have to be eaten :/

T-Dog :((

Justin ? (The guy who set off the alarms) is an asshole. Like you really think of the walkers killed everyone you were going to make survive out on your own ??

The war between the prison and the governor is Myrle’s fault. He didn’t have to kidnap them, he could’ve just secretly followed them

It’s not the group’s fault that some Woodbury’s people died. If you have one of their people in capture, obviously they’re going to kill some people to get them back. The governor destroyed everything because of someone else’s fault 🙄

I did not enjoy the governor. I’m glad he died but he did not get a good enough death in my opinion. It would’ve been more satisfying to see Mishoan (sorry if it’s misspelled) to kill him, and definitely not by a bullet to the head.

If those two sisters at the apartment let the governor leave when he wanted to without them tagging along, then who knows if his climb back to power would’ve happened

Martinez? shouldn’t have saved him after what he witnessed. he knew he was a threat. should’ve saved the girl and left him and told the truth to the sisters

The governor’s other henchman, that black guy (I don’t remember his name at all) what was the point of him?? The camera kept focusing on him as if he was going to do something or be important but in the end he just died

i felt bad for Milton at the end :/ he finally came to his senses and it was a shame that he died

Andrea should’ve sucked it up and killed him the first time when she was supposed to. Also, idk why she thought she had the power to save everyone like this is war ?? saying “stop and make up, these are my friends” isn’t enough honey lol. She wasted too much time looking at Milton while she was trying to free herself bc it distracted her focus and time

I don’t know why Lori was so mad that Rick killed Shane, like ???

Poor prison :/ i couldn’t stop thinking about all the supplies they lost

I never understood whether the sickness in the prison was random or it was started by something else, like the infected rats? everyone got sick then they just moved on, like it seemed like too big of a plot element to move on so quickly

I’m surprised Hershel never caught the sickness after literally getting coughed in the face

Hershel did not deserve the death he got :/

I’m not surprised that Myrle was killed and turned, but I think it’s good that the person who finally killed him was Daryle bc it gives closure. If Myrle originally stuck with the group with Rick around, i don’t think things would’ve worked out

I’m glad Mishoan joined the group, she’s a great addition and she’s badass with that sword

At first, I didn’t catch on to the fact that Tyrese and Sasha were siblings so i genuinely thought he was cheating on her and was so confused when Sasha never got mad lol

I understand Carol wanting to stop the spreading of the sickness but at the point with so many other people sick what was the point? How are you going to secretly kill and burn everyone was is sick ??

It was sad seeing Rick banishing Carol but in a way I understand because you can’t just secretly betray a group like that

The group getting separated was so sad :/ but I liked the story build up of seeing how certain character pairings were together, and learning more about them. For example, Daryl and Beth :/

The part where Daryl and Beth come across the dead body debris and the camera focused on the boot, it never showed who the boot belonged to to make Beth hysterically cry. Yes, they showed the other group dying in the same spot before Carol ran into Tyrese but the way Beth reacted made it seem like someone from the group died. Unless she was just crying from the thought of someone in the group getting killed?

When Daryl and Beth ended up in that church and they noticed the supplies were fresh, meaning whoever lived there was still around, I wonder who it was supposed to be. At first I thought priest when he said he had a church, but then we found out it wasn’t the same one so I wonder who was there

Rick really bit off a man’s neck 😳 gotta do what you gotta do though

It made me nervous when Daryl joined that group because I thought he was going to be forced to stay or I thought the group was going to be the next big guys, but i was relieved when they died quickly.

I can’t believe Lizzie killed Mika :/ some kids don’t understand, I get it but if one of them were to survive I wish it was Mika. As sick as it sounds, if Lizzie got bit maybe she would’ve realized the seriousness of the walkers or maybe she wanted to be one of them. Carol had to do what she had to do afterwards.

I applaud Carol for how much she’s grown. Despite her abuse, she never stopped being kind hearted and grew into this strong woman who can protect herself and others, and also stands up for herself more

Terminus did it’s purpose by reuniting the group but it was so short lived. Like they managed to escape cannibals but run into them shortly after, but then kill them altogether and then that’s it, they move on to the next group?

Why did they have that moment with Rick, Carol, and those two people from the town, Rick giving him his watch, just for the guy to disappear and then randomly show up at Terminus and die?? Like what was the point? I was expecting more.

Glenn used to be the sensitive, nervous guy but now he’s grown into the strong, hard man and while his silliness is gone, i’m happy about his character development bc he does what he needs to to survive

Abraham, Rosita, and Eugene are an interesting group and interesting addition to the whole group. Not much to say about them (except Suzie Crabgrass 😍)

Sasha and Tyrese were an interesting addition too. I like Tyrese better

Tyrese is a sensitive, nice man, I like the fact that he’s not overly aggressive and kills everything living thing in his path. He’s like a big teddy bear, the protector and it gives a nice balance. Yeah, it unfortunately cost him his death but his character was needed :/

Bob was the most random character addition. Even after it showed what he did before he met them, i still don’t understand what his purpose was. He got a young man killed because of his alcohol issue. He tried to sneak a second bottle but then didn’t do anything with it. Why mention the alcoholism twice to not do anything more with it? Even after he does it doesn’t affect the group besides Sasha being emotional.

The addition of the priest is kind of random too. He was alone; they helped him and gave him shelter, but what else? He even tried to escape and got the others in trouble trying to save him so?? At the new community, I haven’t seen him much so what happened with him?

Beth’s death was really sad. I wanted her to make it but i understand that if Dawn didn’t accidentally kill her, Rick wouldn’t have killed Dawn and Noah would’ve been forced to stay. If Noah stayed, then they wouldn’t have had a reason to move up north.

The hospital seemed like they were genuinely trying to help people but why they were so forceful and strict didn’t sit right with me.

The doctor wanted to leave but I don’t know why he didn’t go with the group?? He would’ve been useful for them.

I like Noah so far (though i might be biased bc i did watch everybody hates Chris lol) i’m guess he’ll be more useful later on

Tyrese’s death was the moment that finally made me cry :/ specifically the moment they showed his beanie 😭😭

Rick went from trying to do right and trying to save everybody to not taking anymore shit and I love it

I miss Georgia already.

Season 5 has been slow for me. As of right now I haven’t finished the last 3 episodes yet because I don’t understand the point of the new community that they’re in. It’s too good to be true. I don’t trust anybody except Aaron bc he seems niave. Trouble is going to happen with the woman’s husband, I can tell him and Rick are probably gonna fight until the husband dies. The wife will freak out. The leader of the group seems suspicious. The whole area doesn’t sit well with me. I’m constantly waiting for something to happen bc the whole time they’re being watched & they know what Carol and Rick are up to.

that’s all for now. once i finish season 5, i’ll add to this

#spoiler alert #spoilers ahead #spoilers #the walking dead #rick grimes #my thoughts #review

[primeadv]

SITS DOWN

PULLS OUT 10 GIANT ALBUMS :))) 

(this came out way longer than I intended im so fuckgkdsdf sory)

How I feel about this character: EVERYONE WHO KNOWS ME KNOWS I’M IN LOVE WIHT RATCHET. I love him in all iterations of Transformers because he’s always the tired, pragmatic one of the group. In contrast, he’s also almost tiredly optimistic in some ways. He won’t get out of bed, but if someone gets shot in the head he’ll spend however long and beyond to resuscitate them. There’s 2 halves to this--the me who identifies with the beating exhaustion he exudes, and the me who’s in awe that he’ll still fight his way through life.  I won’t... get into each continuity...because that’s too much, so I’ll stick with probably the most unpopular version of him and that’s IDW (my impression, anyway). IDW Ratchet gets a lot of flack for being way too sour and like, maybe not selfish, but uncaring. He cares! A lot! He’s always thinking about everyone in really surprisingly thoughtful ways. Like when he’s 90% sure he’ll die due to Overlord and his last words are to promote First Aid to CMO (he’s ready!! god that’s sweet), and to give his hands to Whirl (though maybe a bit blindsided, he’s paid attention to some roots of Whirl’s trauma). Or yeah he’s hella mean to Drift in the beginning, but when Drift is dying in his arms he’s scREAMING at him “you’re gonna make it! You’re gonna be fine because I’m gonna make sure you’re gonna be fine”. He can be an asshole, but he knows the time and place. Death isn’t something to play with--he’s seen probably countless friends die, and he doesn’t want that to happen again. Even now, even after the war.  So I feel very confused when ppl act like he’s this mean, cold person. He’s exTREMELY emotional. He’s probably way too invested in everyone’s lives, honestly? He interrupts a round table story for Rung just to reminisce on the veery last time he, OP, and Roller were together in the same room (not even hanging out or anything, just being together one last time. who remembers that after 5+ millions years??). He started an illegal clinic in the bad part of town because he wanted to put his skills to better use! Like! LOL.  ALSO, a point that i think is unfair is that ppl think his atheism is just really mean. IT is! But I think it shows just how much of an emotional and extremely, deeply hurt person he is. It gets aggravating when he’s condescending of religion, because there’s no simple logic to it. He reacts the way he does because he’s a hurt person who’s gone through years of trauma and this is his way of coping. Is it healthy or right? Nah, but it’s humanizing. It’s why when he becomes closer to Drift he occupies this weird between space where he snarks but also tries to indulge more in perspectives outside of his own in his own dumb old tsundere way. He’s a person who believes in justice, ultimately, and religion to him doesn’t fall under justice.  ALSO, can I say that his inability to say good byes is so.. like relatable? I have rly bad social anxiety, and so I’ve definitely ghosted people who’ve been nothing but really supportive for me. It’s not because I wanted to burn them, but it freaks you out needing to, not even say goodbye, but communicate with ppl. And for Ratchet--how many times was he FORCED to say good bye to friends + patients who were dying beyond his help? Maybe, if he could help it, he doesn’t want to say goodbye. And it’s tragic the times he’s just left, these were people who ended up either dying for falling astray into insanity, i.e., beyond his help. But he learns. He chases after Drift, who he actually said, in a way, good bye to (helping him off the floor after being attacked, also I should point out that a very tiny handful of people were comfortable interacting w/ Drift at all, and how much Ratchet just doesn’t give a shit abt how other ppl think abt him. he’ll help drift off the floor bc t’s the right thing to do). He says goodbye in his old dumb way--First Aid calls him out on it. ALSO his trust in First Aid is super cute. ALSO he’s like.. genuinely nice to Ten (he helped him get a date with Minimus!!!). And he’s not afraid to call out on other ppl’s bullshit (telling rodi straight you dont deserve to be captain which, at the time, was really true). He’s also SUPER smart. Also there’s that post on tumblr that pointed out that Ratchet immediately goes to deescalate conflict. He’s willing to put aside pride and anything if it means ultimately coming to a resolution where EVERYONE involved is safe. The only time he doesn’t is FUCKING OVERLORD who he rightfully, immediately, tries to briefly incapacitate to lockdown his medibay (protect patients/information). Ok I gotta stop I can go on forever just going page to page. Also, despite my love, I can totally point out his flaws. He’s grating when it’s unnecessary, he’s abhorrently bad at communicating, he’s privileged, he’s narrow-minded at times, etc. ec. But again what I love about him is that despite all that, he’ll throw his own self out the window for others’s well-being bc he genuinely, genuinellyyy cares about other people. If only he could care for himself //cries All the people I ship romantically with this character OH god... everyone. He’s my bicycle.  ok look, ya’ll know I’m an intense dratchet shipper and I could literally write a god damn essay. ... here’s another essay???!! So, I’ma be real, I wasn’t a super dratchet shipper before. I wasn’t anti (i have no notps), but I was just “yeah they’re cute i guess haha”. But 99.99% the reason why I ship anything is all for super cute adorable fanart. and I kept drawing them because 1) ratchet’s my fav, 2) drift is super popular so I figured I should learn to draw him. And they became the only 2 mechs I could draw. I used to be way more into Scavengers + megarod. I used to only like 1 dratchet fanfic and that’s bc it was less romantic and more plot centric (still a fav tho). Then I kept seeing cute fanart, I would read posts by other dratchet shippers too about what makes them so nice? And I was yeah.. oh yeah. And it doesn’t help that in Lost Light, drift is CONSTANTLY by Ratchet’s side. He’s constantly checking up on him and holding him and touching him, like as if Ratchet is the thing that he needs to make sure, at all costs, is safe.  In Drift’s life, Ratchet is the one who appears to him when he needs support the most but is in the most denial of it. When Drift is at the brink of death, overdosed and about to be broken apart and Orion brings him to Ratchet’s clinic. Ratchet patches him up pro-bono and tells him that he sees something special in him.  like??? can you imagine how that feels? To have no one believe in you--you don’t even believe in yourself, and yet here’s this person who tells you “you’re gonna be great”. And it totally doesn’t hit Drift in anyway, at least in a way that’s tangible to him, until much later in life. Or maybe it does (hey, how do you weave character narratives when it’s been written by like 3 different ppl shrugs). And that statement means 2 different things to them. To Drift, it’s a reminder that he’s worth something, even if it’s a sliver of nearly nothing to hold onto. To Ratchet, it’s a reminder that the greatness he saw led to the deaths of thousands of people.  HEY can you imagine this person you saved, patched up, tried to encourage, ended up being a mass serial killer in the future? (have you ever read Monster by Naoki Urusawa). Ended up killing people you loved?  So it’s no wonder that a good part of Ratchet is absolutely mad at Drift. And I think if that was all, they probably would’ve ended up being amicable. But Drift also ended up being super religious and seeing the hand and primus in everything and oh my god is this person really waxing poetry on the value of life when he, himself, shot several bullets at me at one point?  I also believe they are uncomfortably similar as they are different. The reason why they constantly butt heads is they’re two people trying to escape a past they don’t want and found complete opposite ways to cope with their losses. Drift found religion, Ratchet is gratingly pragmatic, and they see each other and go “how could this guy choose to be this way?”. I’ve heard ppl like to cite the annual as the reason why they could never work out. BUT, can I point out, that they act around each other in a way they don’t with anyone else? Drift gets SO MAD. Ratchet gets extremely talkative and incredibly personal (pulled out an electro slug from someone’s spark, holy shit that fucking traumatized you didn’t it??). They challenge each other emotionally, and it’s so fucking difficult bc they’re both extremely depressed and suffer from PTSD and would probably rather just go on their dumb space adventure and look at stars--take 2 emotionally constipated idiots and you get them. And hell no, don’t tell me Drift is in-tune with his feelings bc he’s 10000% not. He uses religion to cope with a past and life that he doesn’t want to think about. He tries to re-contextualize himself because he hates who he is. OUCHHH. And Ratchet MAKES him confront the parts of himself he hates--bc Ratchet has seen his worst traits and isn’t afraid to make him think about it.  So why do they work out eventually? They realize how important they are to each other. Delphi, Drift saves Ratchet’s life while he’s barely holding onto his own because he probably feels like he owes Ratchet his own life. And that’s a huge turning point in their relationship--Ratchet sees that... Drift tries really really fucking hard. My friend Zig pointed out that post-Delphi, Drift is eating energon w/ chopsticks (what a fucking nerd), and you can see in a later panel that Ratchet (who chose to sit next to Drift) is using those chopsticks too. IT’s such a small thing, but they’re becoming closer by sharing and learning from each other. And then Drift takes the fall and leaves. And Ratchet realizes just how important Drift’s presence is in his life. I mentioned it already lol but the scene where Ratchet helps Drift up off the floor and it’s superimposed with the love message Rewind left for CD. They care about each other so much!! And Ratchet chases after him!! HOLY SHIT. If that isn’t romance, what is?? lol I kid, but it’s obvious just how important Drift’s presence meant to him. IT’s really because they became so so so close in a way that can’t be described as just friends. They deeply understand each other in really uncomfortable ways and bring out the absolute worst and absolute best in each other. And this point is where Ratchet again appears when Drift doesn’t realize he needs someone in his life. Drift thinks he can be a loner and just float aimlessly and voicelessly--hell no! He needs friends, he needs community. He NEEDs belonging, because he wants to belong somewhere. And Ratchet helps bridge him back to friends and found family.  And Ratchet slowly changes the more he’s with Drift. He reads religious text and tries to brag about it bc he’s a dumb tsundere lol but he’s trying to understand Drift’s interests more even if it takes a decade and more to get there. And Drift values him for being his rock. That’s why he’s constantly making sure Ratchet is safe and unharmed, because he owes at least that much to him. And yeah they eventually fall in love because they value each other in a way they haven’t anyone else. IM EMO I CAN GO ONE, this all probably didn’t make a whole lot of sense but yeah. I’m just so soft to the fact that they’re horribly hurt people who don’t know how to redirect their pain, but by being together they come out healthier and more confident. IT’S RLY ROMANTIC IDKKK My non-romantic OTP for this character As much as I also love OpRatch, they are also great best friend platonic ship. They know each other best, they’ve been through SO MUCH together. It’s honestly a shame they barely interact in IDW bc the small tidbits we have, they obviously deeply respect each other’s opinions and deeply value the relationship they’ve had over the past millions of years.  I’m also all for non-romanceOTP for dratchet because I can totally imagine they go to each other to talk about things they feel uncomfortable sharing with others (they’ve seen the absolute worst of each other afterall).  My unpopular opinion about this character I don’t... think I ahve one. Some ppl view my love for his as grating lol.  One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon. Medic spin off.

#ratchet #dratchet

[thekintsugikids]

ok so i KNOW this is dumb but i need to rant.

so i watched the new riverdale (which is probably more than enough of a reason for any of you to not read this and trust me—i understand). and ho. ly. shit. i have genuinely NEVER been so mad at a tv show in my whole fucking life.

i’ll admit here and now that i still watch riverdale, because i am unwaveringly stubborn and i’m seeing this shit show through to the end. so things that seem, from a surface level, pretty genuine, anger me more than they should because i know the context of this bullshit. which means that, if you’re reading this, you’ll have to hear all of that shit so i can fully explain my anger.

so the episode is like. almost entirely based around the high school’s guidance counselor (who everyone is conveniently going to for therapy, even a character who goes to another school, but i can’t even be mad at riverdale for using a shitty mcguffin like that. it should be expected) where all the kids talk about their fucked up lives. that’s cool, i can accept that. riverdale does some dumb shit, but if they’d just done a psychological deep dive into their characters after all the trauma they’ve been through over the course of two and a half years? sure. I’ll bite. but this is riverdale, a show that somehow seems to be written by teenage interns who have never written a script in their life and 40-somethings who have never met real teens in their lives, so that’s not what we got. no, what we did get was this shitty school counselor listening to the characters unload genuine emotional trauma about their parents, and hear the counselor basically say, “they’re just trying to protect you.”

now allow me to explain why that is absolute fucking bullshit.

Betty’s mom forced herself into her daughter’s counseling session, because Alice ran to the high school guidance counselor to ask how she should deal with her daughter being sexually actively—which already, big fucking yikes. after a couple of minutes of back and forth about how Betty is being denied by her dream college because she’s having sex and irresponsibly disregarding her future in doing so (which again, huge red flag but let’s put that on the back burner for like two seconds). the counselor decides that they should do a joint session to work some shit out. ok. fine. whatever. moving on.

Betty says her mom lying to her whole life impacted her negatively. which yeah, that actually makes sense. in less than two years her mother went undercover with the fbi and joined a cult, without telling her own child that she at least didn’t believe in what the cult preached, gave away all the money she had saved for college to said cult, and was working with her half brother who Betty believed was dead (this is riverdale it’s a lot to unpack and i don’t blame you if you stop here bc ive been watching this show since 2017 and im still confused when i read that). she also had Betty’s sister committed to the sisters of quiet mercy, which is basically a disciplinary school for literally anything and everything under the sun (pregnant teenagers, mentally ill children, and conversion therapy are a few things we’ve seen it used for), and didn’t tell Betty that her sister was there, or that she was pregnant. her parents let her believe that her sister was a drug addict in rehab, because that was better than anyone knowing their daughter was pregnant, and then ofc that Alice reads her diary because she refuses to let her daughter have any semblance of privacy. keep in mind, this whole episode started with Alice opening Betty’s mail, seeing that she didn’t get accepted to Yale, and telling her that she searched her room to see “what could be distracting her from her future” (and then gets mad at her for having birth control). her mother says, “I just wanted to protect you.” okay, fine. whatever, that’s total bullshit, but fine.

but then!!! she has a breakdown about how she wants Betty to be better and she’s scared of her growing up and she just wants her to be safe which. ok. ok. ok. shut up. she’s said this EVERY. SEASON. OF THE SHOW. how many times can she say the exact same thing and never learn from it? but Betty isn’t having that shit, she’s been dealing w this shit for so long and she’s done, right? she’s growing up, and her mom would have to be incredibly naive to think that she could just stop that, especially when they are living w her bf’s family. like yeah, they live together. they share a room. they’re teenagers, they’re gonna have sex. who. fucking. cares. her mom then tells Betty that it’s because she’s her favorite child, which........Yikes. and the scene ends.

the weird thing is like.....we’re meant to sympathize with Alice??? after everything she has done—much of which i didn’t touch on—because.............Betty’s her favorite child?????? that’s???????? SUPPOSED TO JUSTIFY THE THINGS SHE DOES?????????? no no no NO what the fuck is THAT manipulative bullshit?? what the fuck. i can’t even think of anything else to say about that, what the actual fuck.

but the real kicker ooooooooh bitch. it’s the end of the episode, with Jughead. many other things happen between the Betty’s session and Jughead’s, but they don’t necessarily fit into what I’m trying to say so I won’t be talking about it. but holy shit the things she said to Jughead? for context, Jughead’s father is an abusive piece of shit. he has gotten violent with his own son, threatened him, abandoned him for his gang when the rest of their family moved out of state to get away from him (Jughead’s dad), and he is an alcoholic who did things like getting drunk at Jughead’s 15th birthday party, and that’s just the cliff notes version. basically he’s a grade-a abusive asshole, which is a field i am well-versed in.

FP, Jughead’s father, says that his father was an abusive drunk, so obvs the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. one of the the biggest issues with this show, though, is that they refuse to acknowledge that FP himself is abusive. like, even writers of the show have said that he is not abusive, even saying that viewers were ignorant to believe that he is (and as someone with an abusive father, first of all, fuck you). and Jughead is on a mission this entire season to prove that his grandfather was some great writer or whatever and his work was stolen from him.

now, how exactly does any of that relate to the discussion at hand?, you might be asking. well he’s at riverdale high to get his transcripts or whatever bc he’s at a new school and they’re all assholes (no, im not going into further explanation of that because there is way too much to unpack). so he’s w the guidance counselor, they talk about it and she has the fucking gall to say, “but think about how your father must feel about all of this???” which, okay, i see where she might be coming from. FP was abused by his dad. but Jughead is also abused by FP, so why the fuck should he worry about whether or not he’s hurting his father? FP irreparably damaged Jughead—I promise you all that being homeless, being hit and threatened by your father, being abandoned by your entire family? that’s not shit you can repair. you don’t just fix that shit. that stays with you.

the counselor tells Jughead that he should be proud of the man his father worked to become (like he isn’t still horrible to Jughead????? for example, forcing him to go to a school that he does not want to go to because it makes their family look better??? ok), she says FP is just supporting his son. and the real kicker—she says, “and you repay him by going on this quest to prove that the man that caused him immeasurable pain is some kind of wronged hero? how do you think that makes him feel?” (that is the quote verbatim, by the way. that is what she says so Jughead)

like FP has earned something from Jughead. like Jughead is in the wrong for not wanting his name to be seen as a joke. no, this is how you repay him for everything he did for you. FP abused his son. it’s literally that fucking simple. and Jughead didn’t even want to talk to this lady, she forced him into the conversation while he waited for fucking transcripts so he could apply to colleges. and we, the audience, are supposed to be on the counselor’s side. we’re supposed to say “yeah Jughead, look at everything your dad has done for you! he loves you!!”

Jughead even says it himself. “My poor dad. I’m so selfish.” like his dad deserves his respect. like he earned Jughead’s respect. like FP deserves a single goddamn thing from his son.

keep in mind, this is a show that’s biggest demographic is people under 20 and they are basically telling their audience that their parent’s abuse is just because they’re “protective” or because they’re “trying to help them.” guess what, that’s not fucking true. if your parent, or ANYONE, is abusing you, it is because they are fucked up. it is not because they love you, it’s not because they “want what’s best for you.” and how dare anyone, let alone fucking Riverdale, try to tell me that it is. no, as someone with an abusive father, i fucking promise you, this shit is not out of love. abuse is not love. and fuck Riverdale for trying to tell me that it is.

#i put the whole thing in a read more link bc it includes personal shit that i dont want a bunch of ppl to just like. see. #and it focuses HEAVILY on the topic of abuse so pls do not read it if that makes you uncomfortable #also its v long #like. very. very long. #so if literally no one reads it thats fine #it probably doesnt make a whole lot of sense but i just kind of needed to unload my thoughts because i am so genuinely upset #k anyway bye #also please #don't reblog #for the love of god please dont or i will delete the whole goddamn thing

[eyedelater]

well i have my physics final tomorrow so naturally i’m consuming anime and manga out of stress instead of studying

so here’s a post about the first five episodes of ajin

i read a good amount of the manga a good while ago but i stopped paying attention to it for a while. like, a long while. but let’s do some catching up

first impressions: the soundtrack is quite good, and the OP is also quite good. the 3dness of the animation, or rather, the CGIness? is somewhat strange but well done and i do like cel shading

i don't remember much about the manga except that protagonist finds out he's an ajin in a society with a fear-based bias against ajin, the protag is kind of an unlikeable asshole, the mad scientist guy is way too into torture and generally a fucked up person, the guy who wears the newsboy cap and always squints is also a very fucked up person and likes video games, and i think the mad scientist's lady assistant may have been the one sympathetic character in the whole thing but i'm not entirely sure.

professor exposition here made the ultimate teacher mistake of saying "this won't be on the exam" BEFORE the lecture. you gotta do your lectures and then at the end of the last lecture before an exam, you give them a list of things that will be on the exam and they know not to study the things that aren't on the list, while still having been unable to ignore those non-exam topics the first time around

"the first ajin was discovered in africa" shows a map of the entire continent of africa. so they don't even know the country? it had to be somewhere there was a war going on with U.S. involvement at that time, right? can't narrow it down further than a continent?

i remember that nagai was a dick to kai, who was trying to be a good friend

this sound of ajin healing up, it sounds like if you play a dripping dribbling sound backward and maybe corrupt it

so nagai uses boku pronouns. being such an asshole, he struck me as an ore in retrospect

right, see?? kai is worried about kei right away! but if i remember correctly, kei is gonna snub the fuck out of him before long. though he has been snubbing him lightly for a while now

a) dumbass cop saying "ajin secured" when he has certainly not secured the ajin b) kai's flying dropkick to a police officer holy shit

RIGHT i knew there was some distinguishing feature about the head area, but not exactly the face, on the mad scientist guy, and it's HIS GLASSES with a silly bend in them. i had glasses with a bend in them when i was like 10

the soundtrack again strikes me as quite good, although this ED is a little too uhh... well i kinda love the animations of the ED actually, but the song is sappy and ballady and i'm very much not into that, why do 90% of anime EDs have to be a sappy ballad? like OPM, the ending was such a laughingstock of an inappropriately sappy ballad, what’s with that

that was all for episode 1.

now for episode 2.

in the flashback, they flash back to the teacher saying "they're deceased humans." did he say that the first time? i thought he said like "of course they're not humans." maybe i wasn't listening closely enough the first time

we saw the police earlier. i forgot this is a story with police characters, thereby increasing its similarity to both death note and tokyo ghoul. ajin is like tokyo ghoul, and tokyo ghoul is like parasyte, but ajin isn't like parasyte.

tosaki says "tosaki" exactly like "tozaki" even though i think i remember this is a running joke. why is it a running joke? perhaps there’s a pun i should investigate

ah, i get it now, i was just thinking "it's so silly that a tranquilizer can stop an ajin, because that means the only reason anyone would have to fear an ajin is if they were using regular old weapons, it's such an obviously exploitable weakness" but then i realized that that's where the black ghost comes in, for catching tranquilizer shots out of the air, right? i think i remember that happening at some point. maybe?

hmm this cgi aesthetic they've created isn't bad, honestly... i keep thinking about how it must have saved them lots of money in their budget compared to hand-drawn animation, you know? though obviously there are limitations in flexibility as a result, but it's not like this is an anime where anyone makes really cartoonish faces or anything, probably

this fits perfectly in the "there's some humanoid creature that everyone hates and i, the protagonist, grew up human but now partly or fully belong to that other group" genre, along with snk, tokyo ghoul, and parasyte, among many others i’m sure

shimomura izumi, that's her name. right.

can these guys in the van see the black ghost or not? it absolutely looks like they can see the black ghost. that guy cowered away from it. and i forgot, the ghost thing is like... like a stand...? like a really dumb stand that does things silently instead of with yelling fervor, and you have to train it like a dog, but like a really dumb deadly dog, and they come hang out with you and make you an ajin if you're like "sure would be nice to not die, ever."

episode 3 now

so tanaka-kun is the one who was being tortured in that ajin experiment video

has someone already done a joke about how the curly spring form of the ghost is similar to the arms in the new nintendo game Arms

tosaki calls hat guy "man with a hat"?? wait i call him that too but he does have a name, what is it

why is kai the best friend ever

bike guy's knife looks like a vegetable peeler

with kei's hard reset, kei grasps the brutal logicality of being an ajin and kai grasps the brutal logicality of kei being an ajin

right, hat man is satou. that's confusing because there's a satou in heroaca as well and he's not evil or immortal or hat-wearing

2396 people got lost in the mountains LAST YEAR??? 294 people died of being lost in the mountains LAST YEAR???????????? how does this compare to real world statistics? he's not talking about worldwide, right? even worldwide, that number is way too high, isn't it? and how specific a statistic is that, for mountains in general, worldwide???

well, i say "why is kai the best friend ever," but tbh it seems pretty clear he loves kei, unless he busts out some shocking ulterior motive later on

when eriko says it's disgusting that kei is an ajin, i'd say that's because she wasn't especially fond of her brother in the first place. (probably bc he wasn't very good to her, but still). and i do remember enough to know that shimomura is an ajin, so she kept an exceptionally straight face while eriko's words cut right through her

kuroi yuurei, huh. i was wondering what the exact words were for the black ghost, and it's just literally "black ghost." might be a tiny bit disappointing

i definitely forgot shimomura dies so early on. whose ghost is the one with three claws like that? they do have some distinguishing features once in a while, right, these ghosts?

time for episode 4.

ajins would sure have an easier time posing as a human if they could stop their body from spitting out obviously lethal quantities of blood every time they bleed to death

right, that’s a distinguishing feature, shimomura’s ghost has a blade for a head or some shit

kuro-chan...

nakamura shinya. thanatosis? not thanatopsis. anyway humans don’t have a playing-dead reflex like that. opossums do, though.

i love how eriko doesn't give a shit about kei unless kai is involved

eriko calls kei "kuzui." strikes me as meaning, like, "scum." i'll have to double check that

i forgot about kai's smiley face earring(s). i feel like they were very much focused on in the manga, but in the anime, they don’t really stand out

tosaki sure answers his phone a lot

episode 5

if only kei could control his ghost enough to just, like, bat away any researchers who try to plunge a knife into him, but NOT KILL THEM. that tanaka apparition made it seem like killing them is the only option, but clearly the black ghost can interact with things in a non-killing way, so just whack em

doesn't it seem like it would be a pain to clean blood off of those soundproof walls in the room where they're doing things that cause blood to spatter?

oh, right, it's ogura. all i remember is that he smokes a cigarette and acted like a cool guy even tho he's old.

"nagai" means "long" (probably/definitely with different kanji than his name), but i'm prety well able to ignore that and not think of him as being Long or anything. however. "tosaki" sounds too similar to "tosaka," which refers to a rooster's crest. so i keep associating tosaki with a rooster. yeah

so killing oneself resets the sedatives' effects? i want to say "i don't think that's how it works" but regenerating limbs and such from thin air isn't how it works either...

i’ll watch some more some other time