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naminethewriter · 2 months

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Extra Service

Chapter Two: The Brother

Masterpost | Chapter 1 | Chapter 3 | Ao3

Hello everyone! I'm finally returning to this story and hopefully the third chapter won't take me as long as this one has 😅 Please be mindful of the content warnings, if you would rather skip this chapter, there is a summary of it at then end of the Ao3 link.

Story Summary: Remus hadn't expected to work as a housekeeper at a hotel managed by his best friend but he wasn't complaining. Especially if it gives him the opportunity to keep a (very attractive) guest from overworking himself.

Content Warnings: Past Roman/Virgil, Discussion of Past Self Neglect, bordering on self harm, but not from the person themselves

~~*~~

Soon Logan had showered and the salad had arrived. Remus used the time in between to roughly vacuum the room and use some air refreshener so he could finally close the windows. He also pushed the books and papers around to make space on the tabledesk for the salad. Thankfully nothing fell to the floor (though some of the stacks were very wobbly and Remus couldn’t help but imagine what it would look like if one crashed into the salad and food and plate shards would fly everywhere. His brain tried to get him to topple it, but he managed to resist. Barely.)

Logan emerged from the bathroom in shirt and sweatpants (since Remus had refused to let him take another suit), a towel around his shoulder and still trying to dry his hair. Remus grinned at him and stood behind the chair as if he were a gentleman offering a seat to his lady. He could be courteous if he wanted to be!

“Is this really necessary?” Logan asked, eyeing him skeptically.

“No,” Remus grinned but didn’t move. The other sighed and sat down without another word. Remus pushed his chair closer to the tabledesk with a giggle before sitting down himself and resting his elbows on the polished wood, watching Logan intently. The other raised an eyebrow at him.

“Do you intent to watch me eat?”

“Yeah!”

“Why?”

“To make sure you finish! Also thought this is a good opportunity to tell you why I’m doing this! You said you wanted to know and it’s gonna take a while, so…”

Logan sighed again but picked up the fork Remus had placed in its proper place next to the plate, motioning for him to continue.

“Very well. Do explain yourself.”

“Chance to ramble? I will take it!” Remus grinned at Logan, who looked a bit more reprehensive but didn’t protest. Instead, he started eating his salad, though his eyes remained on Remus for the most part. Before starting his explanation, Remus took a moment to appreciate how Logan’s lips closed around his fork. He really hoped he’d get an opportunity to taste those lips for himself. Only with consent, of course.

‘Focus on the issue now, fantasize about the hot nerd later!’ he reminded himself.

“You see, I have a brother, a twin, actually,” Remus began, leaning back in his seat. “He’s a bit of a dumbass but has a good heart, y’know? We’re both the creative types, though I mostly work with sculptures, art, and pottery – I teach a late-night class actually! Doesn’t pay well, but it’s fun for the most part – while he’s more of a writer. He’s also a perfectionist, which I am most definitely not, I let my hands wander and see where they get me!” Remus winked at Logan but either the other didn’t understand his innuendo or had a great poker face. ‘Uhhh, you should invite him to play strip poker with you! That’d be fun!’ He tabledesked that idea for later, he should probably ask him on a more normal date first and see where that’ll lead him.

“Aaaaaaanyway,” Remus continued, “my brother decided he wanted to write a play and then perform it in our local theater where he works. His boss basically green-lit the whole thing after Ro-bro gave him the pitch but had some guidelines. Nothing major, but enough that my brother felt the pressure.”

Remus could see Logan watching him intently – those deep green eyes were so hot – while he slowly chewed his food. He seemed the observant type, but even if he wasn’t, it was hard to miss the shift in tone. Remus couldn’t tell this story without being somber, it was a time he didn’t like revisiting.

“Roman threw himself into his work. It was fun at first, see him talk about it so passionately, what his plans for the characters were, the twists and turns and how he could see it performed on stage already. His boyfriend at the time was also super supportive, the both of us rubber ducking him constantly.” A wry smile played on Remus’ lips. He took a deep breath before continuing.

“But writing’s fucking hard if you didn’t know. The words can be perfectly aligned in your head but once you put them to paper they look mangled, like rotting corpses you clumsily stitched together and suddenly the eyes aren’t on the same height and one arm’s longer than the other and you forgot a nipple and maybe even a spleen, so how are you supposed to create a functioning monster?!”

“I understand your point, Remus,” Logan cut in before he could get even more lost in the rather gruesome picture he was figuratively painting. “I assume your brother struggled with the writing process once he got started.”

“Yeah, he did. Like a lot. And when he can’t get what’s in his head on the page the way he wants it to be, he gets frustrated and that leads to him struggling with the words even more and it’s a vicious circle. He started spending more and more time at his desk. When he wasn’t working, he was writing. Or attempting to write. He started losing sleep. I often had to drag him to meals. He cancelled plans or didn’t show up at all because he forgot all about them. It was really worrying.

“And it really put his boyfriend on edge. Like the dude’s been a friend of mine before he got together with my brother and anxiety is like half of his personality. So having plans cancelled on him constantly and his boyfriend not taking care of himself properly led to some problems.”

Remus’ had to make a conscious effort to relax his hands after they curled into fists. To be honest, he still hadn’t entirely forgiven Roman for how he treated Virgil during the last legs of their relationship. It hadn’t been fair to the Emo and while his brother had admitted to his faults, Remus just couldn’t get Virgil’s red-rimmed eyes out of his mind. ‘You should revisit that idea about dunking his head in the toilet bowl’ his head suggested and Remus waved the idea off. Roman would wiggle too much.

“It came to a head eventually and the guy broke up with him. Which sucked because I liked him, but because of his anxiety he needed a clean break, so he asked me not to contact him either for a while. Which turned out to be never, but that was more my fault than his I guess.”

Logan raised an eyebrow. (Remus wondered how often he worked on those; they were immaculately symmetrical.)

“What do you mean by more your fault?” he asked.

“Well, like I said, I was friends with the guy so I knew that he would have trouble reaching out to me first. I should’ve contacted him after the situation settled somewhat, but I didn’t.”

“Why?”

Remus chuckled but it was a dry and sad sound.

“I… always had the feeling that he was kinda afraid of me. I know I come on strong, and I have intrusive thoughts and keeping them in my head is hard, so I usually blurt them out or use them for my art and he… well, it often triggered his anxiety. I didn’t really want to contact him and have him feel like he needed to talk to me again.”

Virgil had been a good sport about it most of the time but even before he started dating Roman, he had visited Remus in his art studio less and less. He took great care to censor his words in front of him, too, but it sucked that he couldn’t discuss things with Virgil freely anymore. It was like he had to be constantly on guard around the man and it only got worse during Roman’s breakdown.

Remus missed Virgil, but he figured he was better off without him in his life. At least Janus still contacted him once in a while, so he knew he was doing well enough. It was a small comfort.

Logan had put his fork aside and was watching Remus with his piercing green eyes. He felt like a bug underneath a microscope and that shouldn’t have had him as hot and bothered as it did. Well, not literally bothered – don’t get him wrong, the dude was hot and being examined by him so intently was a nice bonus, but Remus needed more than that to actually get physically excited.

It would lead to new fantasies however; he was sure of that.

“I get the impression that that conclusion is based on a cognitive distortion,” Logan commented eventually. Remus just blinked at him. “In other words, I think you are jumping to a conclusion. If that man was your friend for as long as you are implying, then I am sure he would appreciate you contacting him again.”

“You stopped eating,” Remus said instead of answering and after a few moments of simply staring at each other (‘Staring contest! Staring contest! How long would it take for their eyes to dry out?), Logan relented with a sigh and picked his fork back up.

“Very well, I will not meddle in your personal affairs. Unlike other people, I respect such boundaries.”

Remus cackled at the obvious jab at his intrusion and as he calmed down, he could see a small smile on Logan’s lips, though he tried to hide it behind the next bite of his meal.

“Well, back to the story: my brother got dumped. Which I had hoped would be a wake-up call for him to quit the bullshit and realize how bad he’s gotten. But instead he doubled down. Every waking minute he had that wasn’t spend at work, he was writing the script – or more accurately, he tried writing it. More and more often I would hear him shouting at his laptop about how nothing was going like he wanted it to, how it needed to be perfect, how he would show everyone that he could do it.

“I tried to get him to eat and sleep, but it would only end up in yelling matches. We both don’t have great tempers and more than once I stormed off and didn’t return until like a day later. I don’t think he left his desk in those days…”

Remus sighed, remembering the sorry state of his brother, hunched over his laptop with bags under his eyes that reminded him so much of Virgil that Remus was almost glad that Roman was hardly going to the bathroom so he wouldn’t catch his own reflection in the mirror.

It had been an absolute trainwreck.

“Eventually, my brother collapsed during one of our fights. Passed out on the spot. I barely managed to catch him before he would’ve hit his head on the ground. He woke up only moments after and tried to convince me that it was just a dizzy-spell and that it wasn’t anything to worry about, but I had enough. I carried him off to the hospital right then and there.”

Roman had fought him the entire way, cursing at him and demanding to be brought back home. He almost fainted again in the car since he worked himself up so much. Remus had thought about pulling into the oncoming traffic and putting them both out of their misery – the stress had made his intrusive thoughts so much worse.

“I got him to cooperate by saying that if nothing was wrong, the doctor would just let him go home and I’d leave him alone afterwards if that was the case. He still complained though. Then he was diagnosed with severe malnutrition and anemia. He had to stay there for a few days.”

“And did he do so without complaint?”

Remus had almost forgotten Logan was there. Almost. He looked back at the other – after he had apparently just stared at the wall for the last few minutes – to see that he had finished his plate.

Good.

“Yeah. I’m not entirely sure what happened since I wasn’t allowed to be there when they took his vitals and shit but apparently one of the nurses laid into him about proper self-care and that he could’ve killed himself. I think only then he truly registered how bad it’s gotten.”

“I see…” Logan looked thoughtfully at his empty plate and Remus just watched him until he spoke up again. “And what happened after? Did your brother finish the play?”

“He did. Took a long break from it though. Went to therapy. He’s doing well now, has a sleep and eating schedule and goes to the gym on the regular. It’s kind of annoying how toned he’s getting. Jan sure appreciates it though.” Remus wiggled his eyebrows, but once again Logan doesn’t react to his implications.

“What about the performance?”

“What performance?”

“Of the play. You said that your brother was ensured that he could perform the play at his place of employment.”

“Oh! He didn’t go through with it.”

Logan blinked at him, surprised.

“What do you mean ‘he didn’t go through with it’? Doesn’t that make the entire ordeal worthless?”

“It wasn’t worthless,” Remus said softly, feeling like this might be the point where he can get through to Logan. “Roman learned a lot from it. So did I, to be honest. The entire thing helped my brother to grow as a person. Yeah, he finished the play, but he had to rewrite around half of it since what he wrote during his mania was either awful, extremely personal, and or sometimes even harmful. And even after all that editing, he still found it too close to his heart to publish. He says that maybe sometime down the line, when he’s healed more, then he'd put it on, but not right now.”

“I… think I understand. Still, I cannot shake the belief that it means his struggles were for naught.”

“I know where you’re coming from, but productivity isn’t all we live for. Learning from our struggles and teaching that to those who come after us is what I think we’re supposed to do.”

“That is quite the profound way to see the world.”

Remus shrugged and leaned back in his chair.

“Maybe. It’s at least what led to me coming in through that door and forcing you to take care of yourself. Which reminds me, you should be going to bed.” He got up and pulled at Logan’s arm.

“Sleep?! It’s the middle of the day!” the other protested, but Remus remained insistent and led him over to the freshly made, plush bed.

“Yeah, but that hardly matters when you’ve been up for who knows how many hours. Your eyebags make you look like a raccoon. Oh, maybe I should’ve gotten you your dinner out of the garbage bins outside!”

Finally, he managed to push Logan onto the bed who looked at him with trepidation.

“I cannot go to sleep, I need to finish my work,” he insisted.

“Pish-posh, I bet you can barely remember what you’ve been writing for the past few hours anyway. Get some rest and then look over what you wrote again, I’m sure you’ll want to make some changes. Sleep-deprived brains rarely put out the work in a quality you want.” Remus pushed at his shoulders until Logan was lying down and then covered him with a blanket.

“Fine,” the other sighed. “But I need to set an alarm. I have a deadline.”

“How about I’m gonna come by when my shift ends in—” Remus glanced at his wristwatch— “about four hours? I’ll help you sort through those books, too, since I kinda just put them together willy-nilly.”

“I guess that’s acceptable.”

It seemed that lying down had a quick effect on Logan as he let out a long yawn and snuggled deeper into the comforting warmth. Remus smiled, proud to see him follow his advice and relax.

“Then see you in a few, Lolo! Sleep tight and don’t let the bed bugs bite!”

“If they do, I’ll sue you.”

Remus grinned as he listened to Logan’s half-asleep mumble before he gathered up his used dishes and silently tiptoed out of the room.

Chapter 1 | Chapter 3

#namiswriting #my writing #Extra Service #Chapter 2: The Brother #platonic intrulogical #past prinxiety #ts logan #logan sanders #ts remus #remus sanders #human!au #discussion of past self neglect #multichapter fic #sanders sides #fanfiction #reblogs are appreciated

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emsiemaefander · 1 year

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You know what I really want in the finalle. A "you make us better" type monologue from AA but from Remus saying it to Logan. Remus is right when he says that he is the opposite of rationality. So to hear that you're being listened to by the most likely side not to listen to Logan would just... Ugh yeah I need it so badly.

#logan sanders #remus sanders #thomas sanders #sanders sides #ts remus #intrulogical #kinda #platonic intrulogical

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thatgenderlessentity · 1 year

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Logan- *to Remus* It must be hard being stuck in here all the time.

Remus- I do not mind. Not when you come to visit me.

Source: She-ra

#sanders sides #sanders sides incorrect quotes #ts logan #logan sanders #ts remus #remus sanders #source: she ra #intrulogical #ts intrulogical #romantic intrulogical #platonic intrulogical #remus angst

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loganslowdown4 · 10 months

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C!Thomas: Can I have some dopamine?

Logan: Dopamine machine is broken.

Thomas: Then can I have some serotonin?

Logan: Serotonin machine is also broken.

Thomas: Well, what DO you have then?

Logan: Well, I-

Remus: *cutting in* Here’s that one line from the Bananaphone song, but you’re gonna think about it for 3 hours gay!

#ring ring ring ring ringring ring #BANANAPHONE #BAPbopadupadoop #😁😁😁#good luck not thinking about it Hahahahhaa #runs away #thomas sanders #sanders sides #logan sanders #c!thomas #ts logan #Remus sanders #ts remus #incorrect sanders sides #platonic intrulogical #Intrulogical

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keter-class-anomaly · 10 months

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aaaaand it's time for yet another tss doodles dump, (not to mention what i have planned for later because i'm insane)

all of working through intrusive thoughts was this btw:

patton when the dark sides/ patton when someone shit talks themselves

i uhh i i love janus i love him-

where there is a drawing of janus there is a slightly more fem drawing of janus nearby:

uum. patton doing taxes.

virgil with two sets of eyes because. because i have deaseases that make me draw characters with two sets of eyes-

i have more. but. this is all i'm putting in this post >:]]]

#leo's batshit art #sanders sides #tss #tss fanart #doodle dump #long post #traditional art #shit posts #other tags idk #virgil sanders #patton sanders #janus sanders #remus sanders #logan sanders #platonic intrulogical

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fangirlwriting-stories · 11 months

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Protector

Chapter One

Author’s Note: And welcome back to your regularly scheduled regularly scheduled program!

Alright, summary that's as non graphic as I can make it! In the last chapter, Virgil goes to rescue Janus, then buys Janus time to fix the barrier by shifting to take his place. Janus realizes he's messed up just a tiny bit, and he and the rest of the sides and Thomas all go down to rescue Virgil, who's being tortured by the other sides there, using an idea Remus gave them back when he was down there alone and trying anything to stop being bored. Remus rescues him by killing Malice, but Virgil still asks Remus to kill him rather than recover from the injuries he has, so Remus does. It ends there, and Virgil's now out of commission for a little bit.

Also, hopefully last heads up, but there's not going to be a chapter next week because I'll be out of internet range. This should be the last time, and there should (knock on wood) be a chapter every week until the story is done after that.

Chapter Thirty-Three:

Janus had locked Cruelty and Positivity up in their rooms for the indefinite future. He said he’d locked Malice’s door prematurely, so he’d be locked up when he reappeared. Remus wasn’t sure why the hell he told him. It’s not like that was enough to make up for everything.

Virgil’s door would likely be gone for another week, meaning Remus was alone, again, and he hated it. Everyone was giving him a wide berth, which he wanted, obviously, but it meant he had nothing and no one. The creatures he made in The Imagination got boring after a while, especially since all his ideas were apparently so useless.

Well. Not that Malice would think so.

Remus tried to distract himself from the crushing guilt and loneliness by giving Thomas tons of horrible ideas about what could happen, doing his part while Virgil wasn’t here.

Tommy-boy was a bit of a mess, as he always was when Virgil was gone. They were all kind of spending most of their time watching him. Remus did his part entirely from his room so he wouldn’t have to see any of their stupid faces, and lived his life under dark of night like the horrifying monster that he was. He didn’t really expect that to work forever, but he also didn’t expect anyone who found him due to getting a glass of water or midnight snack to stick around for very long.

He certainly didn’t expect Patton to be the side that stuck around.

“Hi kiddo,” came a soft voice, and Remus glared over his shoulder on instinct to find Patton standing at the bottom of the steps in kitten-covered pajamas.

“I thought I might find you up at this time,” Patton said. “Since no one saw you around during the day.”

“You’re stalking me?” Remus asked, glaring at Patton some more.

“Of course not kiddo, I was just looking for you.”

“I don’t want to talk to you,” Remus snapped, turning away as if he had something else to do. “And don’t call me kiddo. It’s not like you care about me.”

“That isn’t true.”

Remus whirled back around instantly. “Yes it is,” he hissed. “Don’t act like you would have been doing this if what had happened hadn’t happened.”

Patton winced. “That’s… probably true,” he admitted. “But it did happen, so it’s kind of irrelevant, isn’t it?”

“Says who?” Remus said, crossing his arms.

“Would you rather I go on being cold and distant?” Patton asked.

“Yes. You don’t get to claim a relationship with me just because you all suddenly saw the consequences of your own actions.”

Patton narrowed his eyes in concern. “I’m not trying to claim a relationship with anyone, Remus.”

“Then what are you trying to do?”

Patton crossed his arms. “You’re hurting,” he said. “You’ve been hurt. You shouldn’t be left alone.”

“Why, because it’ll make you feel bad?”

“No,” Patton said gently. “Because it will make you feel bad.”

Remus glared away and said nothing.

“Do you want me to leave?” Patton said. “I came here to offer some company, but I will leave if you want me to.”

Remus looked suspiciously over again. “It’s the middle of the night.”

“And?”

Remus didn’t say anything, but after a second he glared away again. “If you stay you say absolutely nothing,” he snapped.

Patton nodded and sat down on the chair nearby, then didn’t say anything.

Remus glared away again, but Patton didn’t leave. Instead, they both sat there for a very long time, neither of them saying anything. It felt more than a little awkward, but Patton still didn’t leave. And finally, after a couple hours, the sun started to rise, and Remus sank out to his room.

Well, he supposed whatever the hell that was beat sitting there alone. He still didn’t get what Virgil saw in Patton.

…

Remus knew he was wrong for letting Patton stay. It was giving the others ideas that they could approach him too, as evidenced by the knock on his door coming way too soon to be Virgil.

Remus waved an extra lock into existence on his door and rolled over in his bed. It was noon. He wasn’t getting up yet.

The knock came again. Remus groaned and shoved a pillow over his ears.

It came a third time.

Remus screamed through his teeth, threw his covers back, and climbed out of bed and stormed over to the door.

“I was sleeping,” Remus snapped as he opened it. He didn’t stop glaring when he saw it was Logan, but he also didn’t start glaring harder, like he would have with Roman or Janus.

“I apologize,” Logan said. “I did not mean to wake you up. What would be a better time to come back?”

“Never,” Remus spat.

Logan hesitated. “I… do not think that would be wise.”

“I don’t want to see any of your fucking faces.”

“I can certainly understand that perspective,” Logan said. “But I do not think staying here all by yourself is a good decision.”

“Oh, so you all were checking on Anxiety after he ducked out, then?”

Logan winced.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought. Leave me the fuck alone then.”

He slammed the door in Logan’s face and didn’t get a knock again.

That apparently didn’t mean Logan was done, however, because he woke up a couple hours later to the sound of a piece of paper being slipped under his door.

He sat upright immediately and climbed out of bed again to get it. Didn’t these idiots know how to transfer paper quietly?

The letter was from Logan, which didn’t really surprise him.

What did surprise him were the contents.

Remus,

I am not foolish enough to believe that the changing of my behavior will endear me to you. However, that is not why you change behavior, so I am going to proceed with doing it anyway. I hope at least that it will not anger you.

Remus scoffed but kept reading.

It is true that I did not treat Anxiety well following his decision to duck out. I believed you and Anxiety to be a threat, and so I treated you as such. I do not wish to lie to you, so I will say I don’t think this was necessarily unfair of me, though I do regret how it has seemed to harm you both.

I offered to Anxiety a few days ago a chance to talk if he wished, as I suspected you both had been through something traumatic and I knew that it is important to talk about those things.

Remus narrowed his eyes. As if Logan cared whether or not he and Virgil had gone through something. As if Remus would want to talk to him when he obviously wouldn’t care.

I would like to extend—

Ha, like that erection medicine.

—that same offer to you. You are of course not obligated to talk, nor would I want you to if you did not wish to. However, as I said to Anxiety, it is important to know that the offer is there. So, I have made it.

Sincerely,

Logan

Remus glared down at the paper for a moment. That was stupid. It was a stupid thing for Logan to do. As if Remus was going to talk about what he’d gone through to anyone other than Virgil. They didn’t have the right to know. That kind of thing needed trust. And Remus trusted all of them about as much as he cared about them.

He crumpled the letter up and tossed it in his garbage can, the one that wasn’t being used to grow mold, and stormed out of his room and across the commons in order to bang on Logan’s door.

Logan showed up remarkably quickly, and looked surprised to see Remus there.

“I,” Remus said, jabbing a finger against Logan’s chest. “Don’t want to talk to anyone. I don’t understand why the concept of leave me alone is so hard for you idiots to get.”

“Isolating yourself is not a good idea, Remus,” Logan said, adjusting his glasses.

“Well lucky for me I don’t have to do shit! You all were already considerate enough to do that for me! So at least have the decency to finish what you started and back the hell off.”

He stormed back to his room and slammed his door shut before Logan could say anything in response.

…

Remus was going to kill someone, he’d decided. He didn’t know what had made everyone decide that it was okay to interact with him, but it was idiotic whatever it was, and Remus had decided he was going to kill someone over it.

It was probably going to be Roman, because more than Patton’s sympathy or Logan’s guilt, he didn’t want Roman’s pity. He hadn’t wanted it before and he didn’t want it now. What he wanted was for Roman to go back to hating him. Obviously that’s what he wanted. They were brothers, they were supposed to hate each other.

…Virgil was different.

He didn’t want Roman’s pity and he didn’t want his pitiful attempts to fix things and he didn’t want whatever the hell this was.

Remus tossed another brainstorming paper into the fire pit in front of him and poked it with a stick, humming. He’d lost track of which of those were Roman’s and which were his own. He supposed it didn’t really matter at this point.

“Remus?”

“Sorry not sorry I burned your shit,” Remus said without turning around.

“I… was trying to see if you wanted to add anything to the idea,” Roman said, walking up to stand next to him.

“Don’t patronize me.”

“I was going to do it before what happened too, Remus.”

Remus stopped poking with the stick. “Don’t lie to me.”

“I’m not lying.”

Remus poked harshly with the stick again and didn’t say anything.

“Why would you burn your ideas?” Roman asked, looking over at him.

Remus kept poking at the fire. “I burned your ideas too. It’s all shit and none of it matters.”

“That’s not true.”

“Says who?”

“Says me. You know, because I’ve kind of built a lot of Thomas’ career off of some of those ideas, and I’d like to think it’s not all shit that doesn’t matter.”

Remus kept poking and didn’t say anything.

After a minute, Roman turned away. “And I’d appreciate you not saying that too,” he said quietly. “Those ideas weren’t exactly easy to come up with, you know.”

Remus jabbed a log over onto its side. “Sorry.”

Roman turned to face him again in confusion. “What?”

Remus moved one of the pieces of paper that had fallen to the side around until it caught ablaze. “Sorry.”

“Why… are you apologizing?”

“Shut up, no I’m not.”

Roman didn’t say anything for a long moment.

“You didn’t have to burn them.”

“What, you gonna hit me for it?”

“What? No!”

Roman said it with such immediacy and vitriol that it was obvious what he was thinking about.

Remus shot him a look. “Shut the hell up.”

“I… I don’t want to hurt you, Remus.”

Remus glared back at the fire and started poking at it again.

“…I’m sorry,” Roman whispered, and Remus went still.

“I’m sorry,” he said again. “I should have looked closer.”

Remus clenched the stick tighter.

“I mean Anxiety told you, didn’t he? I would think he would—”

“Yes he told me,” Remus snapped, poking harshly enough to send a shower of sparks up into the air. “He told me you’re a pathetic little baby who can’t even be bothered to decide whether he cares or not. If they bothered you why didn’t you come check?”

“I was scared,” Roman said quietly.

Remus laughed. “Yeah, me too, asshole.”

Roman winced. “Not of them,” he murmured. “Of you.”

Remus’ breath caught. “I didn’t do anything,” he said weakly. “I didn’t.”

“No, of course not, Remus,” Roman said, like it wasn’t even a question, like Remus hadn’t caused all sorts of new creative problems just because he couldn’t deal with being bored for a little while.

“I was scared of… you taking my place,” Roman said, looking up at the sky. “And I know that’s not fair, not even close to the kind of stuff you were dealing with. I just… I don’t know. I was still scared. That they’d decide your ideas were better than mine, or that you would be better at coming up with them, and then they’d decide they didn’t want me anymore.”

Remus threw the stick into the fire and threw his head back and laughed. “Well that’s hilarious,” he said, turning a glare to Roman, who looked a little startled. “That’s real funny Ro, because from what I remember, I wasn’t the one who took Janus from you.”

Roman’s eyes widened. “Remus—”

“What the hell do you know about losing people? I can tell you a few things about that! It sucks! And you were kind of right to be afraid of it, so fuck you!”

“I—” Roman reached a hand out, and then dropped it again. “I’m sorry.”

“For what? Are you sorry that you feel bad? Is that it? Because that’s a pretty shitty apology!”

“What? No, I— I can’t be sorry because I hurt you?”

Remus glared back at the fire, half debating reaching in to grab his stick back. “Yeah, right. Since when do you care about me?”

“Since I started having nightmares about you getting hurt,” Roman said quietly. “And my brain was stupid and just decided to interpret that as missing my brother.”

Remus crossed his arms. “Well you should have come and said hi. Maybe noticed all the bruises.”

“I know,” Roman murmured.

Remus glared over at him. “I don’t forgive you.”

Roman blinked. “I’m not asking you to forgive me.”

“That wouldn’t make your sad little prince ego feel better?”

Roman looked away. “It’s not about me, Remus.”

“Isn’t everything? You’re the creative one Thomathy wants, and the one Janus wants, and the one everyone wants.”

Roman bit his lip. “I think Anxiety prefers you.”

“Anxiety isn’t here.”

Roman was silent for a long moment.

“For what it’s worth,” he murmured finally. “Janus hasn’t left his room since we all came back here. I don’t think he’s ever felt worse about anything. I know that’s probably not worth much.”

“It isn’t.”

Roman nodded slightly.

“If you don’t want me to forgive you then why are you here?”

“I was checking on you. I thought… I don’t know. We could brainstorm.”

Remus kicked the firepit. “Whoops.”

“It’s okay. Maybe a break is best right now anyway.”

“Go away now.”

“Okay,” Roman said softly. “I… you can always talk to me, Remus. If you want.”

“Don’t count on it.”

Roman nodded again and sank out.

…

Remus didn’t know how to feel about the idea that Janus hadn’t left his room since they got back. Mostly it pissed him off, honestly. Virgil was going to be back soon, and if Janus was still hiding in his room like a wimp it would make Virgil concerned or something, and Remus was not going to let him spend time worrying about Janus when he should be recovering.

He’d blame that for why he showed up there one morning.

Janus was watching Thomas over at his desk, leaning heavily on one hand, apparently not having noticed Remus at all yet.

“Hey.”

Janus jumped so badly that he knocked a handful of things to the floor, and spun around with a hand pressed to his chest, breathing heavily.

Remus raised an eyebrow, trying to convey ‘Really?’ with his eyes.

Janus pushed himself up with the back of his chair. “Remus?” he said weakly. “What… what are you doing here?”

“You’re not going to be in here when Virgil shows up.”

Janus flinched. “Remus—”

“You are not, do you hear me? He’s just going to get worried, because for some reason he ‘cares about you’ and ‘thinks you’re worth saving’ and doesn’t think you ‘deserve everything that’s coming to you.’”

Janus trailed his gaze on the floor. “He’s wrong.”

“I know that. But he’s Virgil, you know how stubborn he gets when he’s really decided on something.”

A crumpled paper version of a smile crossed Janus’ face.

“So I’m going to say this once. You’re going to get the fuck over yourself in the next couple days, and by the time Virgil gets out here, you’re going to be doing your job like a good little Deceit who knows how to suppress entire parts of his personality. Capiche?”

Janus nodded. “Okay.” He didn’t say anything else.

Remus clenched his hands into fists. “Okay?”

Janus looked up hesitantly. “Yes?”

“You’re just gonna do what I tell you?”

Janus blinked. “Do you want me to do something else?”

“I want you— you do not get to be devastated by this,” Remus snapped. “It is your fault. You don’t get to be upset.”

“I…” Janus looked lost. “I don’t know what you want me to say.”

Well, Remus didn’t know what he wanted him to say either, but he wasn’t going to let Janus know that. Instead, he summoned his morningstar and hurled it over towards the wall, knocking one of Janus’ posters down.

Janus startled and gripped the back of the chair he was next to until his knuckles turned white.

“I’m sorry,” he said, which was the wrong thing, because Remus might not know what he wanted but he didn’t want that.

“No!” he screamed. “You’re not!”

But Janus just shook his head. “Yes I am, Remus,” he said. “I don’t— I can’t even begin to express to you how much I’m sorry.”

“It doesn’t matter anyway,” Remus spat. “It won’t be enough and you shouldn’t try!”

Janus nodded and took a small step back. “Okay.”

“Stop it! Stop just— just bending to my whims!”

“I don’t know what you want from me,” Janus said weakly.

“I want you to not have left!” Remus screamed. He walked forward and shoved Janus back into his desk, knocking more things onto the floor. “I want you to have listened when we begged you to stay! Things were fine,” he shoved Janus again, “when you were there. Things were manageable and it was fine. Then everyone decided they liked you, and Thomas decided he liked you, and you just decided ‘oh well who gives a fuck about Virgil and Remus anymore, huh? It’s not my fault they can only be marginally safe when I’m around! It’s not my fault that they had to learn how to do first aid on themselves at ten years old! It’s not my fault that Virgil brings Remus to sleep leaning against Janus’ bedroom door because that’s the only way they’ll be left alone! No, I have to think about Thomas. Never mind that I’ve been able to do my job living here until now! Nevermind that Virgil and Remus are part of Thomas too, and more than that, I’m supposed to be in charge of them so it absolutely is my fault if they get hurt!’”

Janus was leaning back against his desk now, and he tried to wipe discreetly at his eyes as Remus finished screaming, ending up panting with clenched fists shaking at his sides. He expected Janus to say he hadn’t known, or that he would have done something if he had, but he just said nothing.

“Well? Say something!”

“Like what?” Janus croaked. “What am I supposed to say to make this better for you, Remus?”

Remus buried his hands in his hair, yanked on it, and screamed.

“Don’t do that,” Janus said weakly, moving forward pulling Remus’ hands down.

Remus smacked his hands away. “Don’t touch me.”

“Don’t hurt yourself.”

“Don’t tell me what to do.”

Janus dropped his hands, but didn’t move away, meaning he’d probably stop Remus if he pulled his hair again. So, Remus moved back himself, and leaned back against Janus’ door, then slid to the ground.

“I am never,” he said vehemently. “Going to forgive you.”

Janus swallowed. “Good.”

“Stay away from me. Don’t ever talk to me unless I say you can. And have your fucking act together by the time Virgil wakes up.”

Janus nodded. “Okay.”

Remus glared up at Janus and spit in his face.

Janus blinked in shock, but after a second just moved back slightly and wiped it off.

Remus grabbed the doorknob and used it to hoist himself up. He opened it and slammed it shut behind him. Everyone else was out in the commons and staring at him as he did, probably alerted by all the yelling.

Remus gave them a murderous glare and stormed off to his room.

...

Chapter Thirty-Four

#sanders sides #remus sanders #patton sanders #logan sanders #roman sanders #janus sanders #platonic intruality #platonic intrulogical #creativitwins #my fic

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edupunkn00b · 9 months

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Stimming!

As was clear from the voting and from the little word cloud (out of five choices, 'Stimming' won over 55% of the vote), our first prompt has already been decided!

Stimming

stimming stimming stimming

stimming stimming stimming stimming stimming

stimming stimming stimming stimming stimming stimming stimming stimming stimming stimming stimming stimming stimming stimming stimming stimming stimming stimming stimming stimming stimming stimming stimming stimming

#it's not even a word anymore #intrulogical #ts logan #ts remus #logan sanders #remus sanders #romantic intrulogical #platonic intrulogical #prompts #sanders sides #thomas sanders #intrulogical week 2023 starts 10/29 #first prompt chosen: stimming #stimming

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bennyyrabbit · 1 year

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Imagining a universe where Remus and Logan conspired to put the Logan Frankenstein Monster Head in Remus' Monster Smash look to see if any fans would take the opportunity to Intrulogical That Shit (you cannot convince me that Remus doesn't read Sanders Sides porn fics) and then it somehow spiraled into trying to convince the others that they are, in fact, together, and that was why they used the LFMH in Remus' Halloween look (this happens because Virgil, at Remus' demand, checked the Intrulogical Tumblr tag, and they saw The Post from March 28th and Virgil was like, Yeah, Right, and Remus automatically was like "What? What's so unbelievable about Logan and me?" and VIrgil is just like. Everything).

So, now they're stuck pretending to be in love with each other to convince Virgil that @infectedyl4n was right, and it hasn't been too long, but Logan and Remus are BOTH fanfic readers and they know where this can lead, and NEITHER are happy about that possibility.

#intrulogical #romantic intrulogical #platonic intrulogical #remus sanders #logan sanders #logan logic sanders #remus intrusive thoughts sanders #sanders sides

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intrulogicalweek · 11 months

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Intrulogical Week Prompt Poll #6

Top three vote-getters will move on to the next round!

#intrulogical #logan sanders #remus sanders #ts logan #ts remus #sanders sides #platonic intrulogical #romantic intrulogical #thomas sanders #intrulogical week #intrulogical week prompt poll

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naminethewriter · 6 months

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What Dreams Are For

Chapter Four: The Other Side

Masterpost | First | Previous | Next | Ao3

Story Summary: Dreams are weird. Especially when you’re metaphysical. There is a distinction between your own dreams and that of your whole. Even though Roman doesn’t know at first that he’s trapped in a dream, he does know that something is wrong upon waking in an unfamiliar room. He thinks he’s in the Imagination but can’t say for sure. Just what has he gotten caught up in?

Cast as the evil Prince and forced to act out the twisted storyline of Thomas’ dream, Roman, with help from Patton and Virgil, needs to figure out what is happening while constricted by what his hateful character would do and say which is not at all pleasant.

We dream for a reason. And as much as Roman likes to be the center of attention, this dream isn’t about him. Someone else is crying out for help.

Content Warnings: Impulsive Thoughts, Partial Mind Control

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Remus’ hand twitches as he makes his way back to his wing. Patton hadn’t stopped with his lecturing for almost two hours. He knows he isn’t in control, but still… It was very irritating to sit through. And the only reason Patton stopped when he did was because of a lunch date he had with Roman and Virgil.

Remus is really itching to punch something.

The situation is vexing in so many ways. The stupid dream had put him in the worst position once again. He is stuck in his room, everyone around him hates him – Roman especially – and he knows what’s going on (kinda) but can’t tell anyone.

Well, maybe he could if he managed to get either Roman, Patton or Virgil alone, but the chances of that happening are very low…

Usually in situations like this, he can count on Janus figuring something out. But he’s… indisposed.

Unreachable to him, at least.

And lastly there’s Logan.

Remus stops, back in his wing, close to his personal quarters. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath.

Logan.

Right.

How is he going to explain all of this to Logan?

Simple.

He isn’t.

Or more like, he can’t.

He sighs. This type of thinking isn’t getting him anywhere. There’s nothing he can do but wait and hope he’ll get an opportunity to try and talk to the others again later.

Getting his move on, he trots over to his quarters, throwing the door open himself. Not that there are servants here that would do it for him.

Not anymore.

The itch to hit and break and destroy comes back and Remus grips the edge of the door to keep himself under control.

But why is he holding back in the first place? Destruction is what he’s best at. Chaos is his calling.

It’s not what he needs right now, though. He needs a plan.

As if he could come up with anything in the state he’s in. If he just let off some steam, he could clear his head and figure something out.

Let off steam how? By going on a rampage? Break whatever he can grab?

Why not? He’s already been labeled as ‘the insane prince’ anyway. A big disappointment, according to Roman. Might as well lean into it.

And make things more complicated down the road?

What’s there to complicate? It’s not like his reputation could get any worse anyway. He should just throw the vase. It’ll make him feel better.

Remus blinks at his hand. When had he picked up the vase he’s currently clutching? He had been by the door just a moment ago, right? Shaking his head, he moves to put it back in place, but his fingers refuse to let go.

He wants to smash it so bad. There’s a mirror only a few steps away. If he throws the vase into that, wouldn’t it create the most wonderful sight of shards everywhere?

He would most certainly get injured.

Isn’t that a plus? Adding blood to the mix would just make it better!

“Your Royal Highness? Are you alright?”

Remus blinks, spiraling thoughts interrupted by a very familiar voice. He turns toward the door and there stands Logan, looking very concerned. His black hair is tied in a short ponytail behind his head, not a single strand out of place. His glasses are set on his nose, their frame more circular than usual and not the solid black they are in the mindscape.

“Your Highness?” he repeats, softer this time.

Remus’ fingers finally let go of the vase, placing it back where it belongs, and he quickly takes a step away from it.

“I told you to just call me Remus, Lo. It’s just the two of us here.”

“Right.” Logan’s hand twitches towards his glasses, as if to fix them when they aren’t out of place in the slightest. “I apologize, Remus.” The name comes painfully off his lips, but Remus knows it’s simply the force of habit from having maintained the image of a perfect aid for so many years.

At least, that’s the past Logan knows at the moment.

He has no idea that this isn’t real, that it’s just a dream.

Right now, this is his reality.

Because this dream is all about him. Remus wishes he had managed to tell Roman that.

He can’t tell Logan. The dream won’t let him. The subconscious is such a fucking annoying thing to deal with.

But he’s been in this situation before, just… usually he’s in Logan’s shoes and Janus is the one to come to his rescue. This time it’s up to him to figure out what exactly is going on and help Logan get over whatever it is that keeps them trapped here.

He can figure this out. He just needs more time.

“You are spacing out again, Your— Remus. Did something happen?”

Once again, Logan’s voice startles him back into the here and know.

Right, he should stop getting lost in his thoughts. Remus shakes his head and takes another deep breath before smiling weakly at Logan.

“I… ran into my brother.”

“…Oh.” Logan shrinks into himself at the mere mention of Roman and the itching in Remus’ fingers returns. Now he really wishes he’d gotten to punch him at least once earlier.

Even if he knows the Roman that Logan is so afraid of is not the Roman that is currently having lunch with his friends. There’s a reason he’s been cast as the selfish prince.

It still wouldn’t be fair to punch him, he reminds himself. ‘The Crown Prince’ is just a caricature.

“Did he come here?” Logan asks, finally moving to close the door behind him to give them the feeling of privacy even if the halls outside are abandoned.

“No,” Remus admits with a wince. “I went out.”

Logan freezes.

“I didn’t even look for him, promise. I just couldn’t sit still anymore.”

“You don’t have to justify yourself, Your Hi— Remus,” Logan interrupts before he could truly start rambling. “I agree with you that your detainment here is entirely baseless. Still, it would be best to avoid confrontations with the Crown Prince. At least until the King returns and we can have a proper discussion.”

“Yeah, I know. I know.” Remus throws himself onto his couch with a groan, looking at Logan upside down. “I wasn’t trying to confront him. We just happened to run into each other and… well…”

Logan sighs and moves to sit down in one of the armchairs.

“Please tell me what happened in detail.”

~~~

After Remus’ account they both sit in silence for a while. Remus had moved, so that now his upper body is lying on the floor and his feet are up on the couch’s cushions. Logan remains seated in the armchair, his back straight as a pole and looking entirely uncomfortable.

“As I thought,” Logan eventually begins, “it is best for us to avoid you and Prince Roman interacting for the time being.”

“Yeah, no shit,” Remus agrees in a flat tone, annoyed with himself and their situation.

Because Roman could be on to something. If the two of them worked together and had Logan there as well, then maybe they could brute force the dream to end, but it would be a highly dangerous situation. Even if Remus can break character if he’s alone with his brother – and he is very unsure if that would be the case – they definitely can’t in front of Logan.

“Maybe if I were the one to talk to him. Or the Royal Advisor.”

Immediately, Remus sits up.

“No, that’s a bad idea, Lo.” Because they will be forced to be awful to you, he wants to say but his mouth won’t let him. Instead, he adds, “I don’t think they will listen to you. Roman thinks of you as a traitor, he will take anything you say as manipulative or some shit. And Patton is on his side, he’s just going to tell you that it’s Roman’s decision and he stands by it. It’s not gonna help.”

“Still, I have to try, right? If I don’t then nothing will change for sure, and Janus…” Logan trails off, avoiding looking in Remus’ direction. Remus slumps back to the ground.

“I’m kind of jealous you can call him by his first name so casually but not me,” he scoffs and raises a hand to stop Logan’s protest he’s sure would follow that statement. “I know, I know, our statuses are different, but we’re friends, Lo. Just relax a bit.”

It’s Logan’s turn to scoff. “How am I supposed to do that when things are like they are. If we don’t do something, things will just… get worse, won’t they?” He sounds so small as he says it, Remus just wants to go and hug him but apparently, even that would be out of character since his body doesn’t obey.

“Jan’s going to be fine,” he says instead. “He’s a lot tougher than you might think. And they can’t do with him whatever they want, he is still a noble. Until he’s convicted for something, they’ll have to treat him with at least some decency.”

“But if we do nothing, it’s like we’re abandoning him, isn’t it?”

Remus looks over to Logan. He still sits in the armchair with his perfect posture, but his fingers are digging into his thighs and his jaw is twitching. It’s a very similar sight for Remus. He looked the same just a few hours ago, before he decided to head out.

Logan is going stir crazy.

“Fine. But only Patton. My brother’s dangerous. You need to be careful, promise me.”

“I promise, Remus.” Logan’s small smile makes Remus’ heart clench in his chest.

He is so hopeful.

He is going to get crushed.

But Remus can’t protect him from everything. Not with how things are now.

“I’ll go make some tea now,” Logan says as he stands up. “I think we are both in need of something stress-reducing right now.”

“Yeah, Lo, that’d be great.” Remus smiles at him, getting up and watching him leave. As soon as the door closes behind him, he collapses on the couch, this time lying on it like you’re supposed to.

What a shit show.

#namiswriting #What Dreams Are For #Chapter Four: The Other Side #platonic intrulogical #(for now)#ts remus #remus sanders #ts logan #logan sanders #impulsive thoughts #partial mind control #multichapter fic #sanders sides #fanficiton #reblogs are appreciated

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