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lyallblacklupin · 3 years

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It’s just Remus Lupin! (part 2)

The sun had risen and Sirius felt someone sitting on his bed. His neck was aching following with throbbing in his temples. He was struggling to open his heavy eyelid until he heard voices.

“Why don’t you talk to him right now after he wakes up?” That was James’ voice.

“No way! And after what he had told me? And now I have totally made everything awkward between us. I’m so stupid, Prongs!” Remus’ voice sounded so new, squeaky and very much worried.

“Yeah, there is no doubt. You are the mother of stupidity. But look at his face. He must’ve cried all the night. So peaky! He needs breakfast before he faints.”

Typical Potter, the mother-hen of the group.

“I’ve never seen him crying like last night.” Remus whispered.

Sirius’ heartbeat quickened as he felt a very familiar hand brushing against his. Remus’ warmth was all he yearned for. Then after a while, Sirius finally opened his eyes to see three heads hovering on him. James, Peter and Remus were gawking at him as if he were some sort of new creature they had discovered.

“How are you?” Peter asked.

“Yeah, I’m great.” Sirius struggled to sit up, propping on his elbows. He felt so tired.

“Well, do you wanna talk about it?” James asked, gesturing to the crumpled ball of parchment at his nightstand. Sirius distinctly recalled throwing it on the floor. Someone of the three had read it and put it back in its previous form. He nervously glanced at Remus who was looking at the floor, deeply engrossed in his thoughts. He felt a surge of unjust anger for him.

“Not really...” He answered.

“You know we are here for you.” James insisted.

“I know, Prongs, you are.” He didn’t expect himself to come out too bitterly, which made everyone in the room uncomfortable.

“Me too, Pads, and Moony here” Peter started but Remus interrupted.

“Wormy, what Sirius really need is breakfast so...”

“How do you know what I need?” Sirius suddenly snapped. He was hating how Remus was being this figure who tells people what they should be, or do, but then he was regretting his tone when he saw Remus wearing pained expressions, while James and Peter were becoming tensed. “Aye, you know what, just leave me alone. I don’t need breakfast.” Sirius said dejectedly, “its weekend and I would really wanna have myself for a while...”

Everybody sauntered towards the door and Sirius buried his head in his hands. He didn’t want to be a burden to his friends. They were his only family. No matter how awkward Peter could be, no matter how painfully lovely Remus could be or how irritatingly caring James could be, They were all a very essential part of his life, something he could not afford to lose. And now he was gradually losing one by one. Remus was lost, James was halfway there because telling him that he was gay would be disgusting enough for him and Peter to leave.

The door clicked shut but Sirius realized that he was not alone yet. He lifted his head up to see James Potter standing against the doorframe, smiling weakly at him.

“I’m not leaving you alone after you’ve cried literally like a baby, Padfoot. A legit baby.” He walked towards Sirius who let out a chuckle. “Padfoot?”

“Yeah?” Sirius looked into his hazel eyes, staring at him very intently.

“Moony told me.”

Sirius felt his entire body went numb.

“And...Sirius....”

Why are you gay? What is the matter with you? I can’t be friends with you anymore!

“...Why didn’t you tell me?”

Sirius jerked up his head with wide eyes and mouth. What?

“What?”

“I mean-I thought we share everything...is there something that I did to make you uncomfortable or-“

“James...no...You can never do something wrong...” He was at a loss of words. He didn’t expect this response. “You don’t disgust me?”

“Why? Did you pick your nose and eat it?”

“Ew! No Prongs!” Sirius scrunched his nose halfheartedly while a smile desperately wanting to settle on his lips. James was being James Fucking Potter, his supportive non-biological brother and a caring prat.

“Then, there’s no reason for me to disgust you, Sirius.” James gazed him earnestly. He felt tears stinging in his eyes.

“Wha-Padfoot!?” James exclaimed at the sight of Sirius whose face was crumpled and was practically weeping silently. “Look at that! A baby! Legit baby!” James crawled on Sirius’ side and wrapped his arms around him, cackling affectionately.

They finally came down to grab buttered toasts from the kitchen as they ran to their first lesson of the day. The time crawled down like as if it were a turtle. Sirius wanted to bang his head against the nearby wall because it was becoming unbearable to be in the same class where Remus Lupin was. It was quite a hard truth to digest and that was Remus and Sirius becoming distant. They used to be glued against each other, and Sirius used to enjoy that one-sided intimacy, but now they were miles away from each other and Sirius was touch-starved. Well actually, this was Remus’ touch starvation.

“I think I’m gonna be sick!” He rested his head against the wall by the Great Hall entrance as he and James were waiting for the rest of the Marauders to gather for lunch.

“Hey! Snap out of it!” James blurted out, “Don’t let your emotions have power over you-“

“That’s what Moony said.”

“Then listen to him, for his sake! I know you’re falling for him and you think that he didn’t return the feelings—“

“I think?” Sirius glared at him, “He clearly rejected me!”

“He didn’t reject you! He is just being Moony! You know how he is, always self-deprecating, and not to mention, being affirmative that he doesn’t deserve anything good. That’s why he asked you if you were sure. I mean, I’m not defending him because of course, you are not supposed to say that when someone tells you that they love you, but Pads, I don’t think he is entirely unreasonable here. You have messed around with a lot of girls while he never got one. He is conflicted between being worthy enough to be with you, and making sure he doesn’t get a heart break from you of all people. All that matters to him, is your friendship. He is not judging you, he just doesn’t trust himself.”

Sirius knew that each and every word of James was right. It was a little hurting but true. He didn’t know what to say so he remained silent. He clearly had a bad reputation of having two-days relationships so, of course, Moony was doubting him reasonably.

Peter and Remus had joined the two of them and now the four of them were eating shepherd’s pie in their lunch. Sirius suddenly lost his appetite when his eyes found Remus, sitting between Peter and Frank, playing with his food while staring into nothingness. His heart clenched to see him like this. Remus’ eyes searched to find Sirius’ which were already staring back. Sirius quickly looked away.

There were these mixed feelings surrounding Sirius’ mind. He didn’t want NOT to be around Remus but every time he looked at those sad amber eyes, he wanted to kiss the pain away but then he was reminded that he had confessed and failed. Remus didn’t even come to him to clarify. If he really felt the same, he could’ve cornered Sirius to communicate.

The Marauders spent the rest of the day mostly in the library for the completion of Transfiguration Essay that was supposed to be 3 foot long, and Slughorn had given them homework to write the functions and ingredients of Felix Felicis potion for the gain of extra credit.

James was scribbling lazily on the top of his journal, it was distinct to see that he was drawing a snitch of L.E written on it. While Peter was drooling over the girl two tables away from them, and Sirius was casting quick glances at Remus who was so engrossed in reading a book with no title. It seemed to be a vintage journal and he had his eyes locked with it as though no power on earth can lift up his attention.

“Mooooony...I’m tired...” James spoke but Sirius knew that Remus wasn’t going to respond until his book is finished.

It was already evening and they hadn’t found any opportunity to be alone. Apparently, Remus hadn’t sought a chance to get Sirius alone because he had done his part but clearly Remus was not trying.

Sirius snapped his hand on the table and stormed out of the library, ignoring the glare from Madam Pince. He sprinted to the Gryffindor Tower and found the common room empty. He sat there alone with his thoughts.

He knew that Remus never dated anyone because of his furry little problem, while Sirius did date a lot including Marlene McKinnon before she realized that she was falling for Dorcas Meadows. Sirius had helped her without feeling bad for being dumped on the Yule Ball as her date. After when Remus had known that Sirius had no one to dance with, he led Sirius in the empty common room and waltzed around on Never Let me Go by Judy Bridgewater.

“So you’d rather dance with a person who is moping that he got dumped on the ball, than with the most beautiful woman on the earth.” Sirius had asked him.

“Padfoot, you are the most beautiful woman on the earth.” Remus had replied him which had made both of them laugh manically, stumbling over each other.

And then he had known that he would never let this man go from his life. Since that beautiful night filled with laughter and lot of dancing alone and drinking, Sirius had never stopped looking at Remus so longingly.

He sighed as the Gryffindor students flooded in the common room, back from the feast. Before he could be seen by his friends, he climbed up to his dormitory. He shut the door behind him and sunk into his bed.

The door swung open, and Shit! Sirius didn’t shut his curtains. He didn’t need to turn to look who came in because it was quite a decent and silent walk of someone, rather than being noisy like James and Peter.

“Hey.” Remus’ voice was as calm and pure as his soul.

“Hi.” He still had his back to Remus and was staring at the window.

“What? Now we won’t talk to each other?” The same sweet voice spoke rather sadly. Sirius reluctantly turned to face him because he couldn’t hurt him.

“Uh... no it’s not like that. Uh, how are you?”

Remus opened his mouth and then shut it quickly, narrowing his eyes, becoming very interested in the floor, as though calculating his words.

“I...” He glanced at Sirius’ eyes, “I’m sorry, Padfoot-“

Sirius felt his stomach twist.

“Look, Remus, you don’t have to apologize-“

“But I do! For-“

“Remus, it’s okay! Please!” Sirius didn’t realize he had shouted those words until he saw Remus’ distraught eyes, glistening with tears in it. “I mean, I shouldn’t expect anything from you, and to be honest I didn’t but it just hurts! We can forget about all of it and go back being friends because-“

“Would you be able to do that?” Remus’ voice was shaky, and Sirius felt a shiver ran down his spine. “You know what, I don’t regret for what I was sorry for earlier. For asking you if you were sure about what you said to me last night.”

What?

“What did you say to me?” Sirius had to pull himself from punching Remus’ beautiful face because Fuck you, Remus Lupin! You are the best cruel person in the world!

“You heard me! Sounds like you don’t love me enough just like I doubted! Because if you did you wouldn’t be a coward to walk away from my life so easily! Would be that easy for you to forget everything!?”

A MILLION TIMES HARDER!! The word ‘easy’ was no near to this situation Sirius was dealing with. However, as much as he was taken aback by the challenging voice of the other boy, he knew deep down inside his heart that he was, again, reasonable.

He also wanted to retaliate but what came out from Sirius’ mouth was a whimper, and before he knew it he was sobbing on the floor.

Remus was immediately holding him by his torso from his behind, but a little more intimately, Sirius could tell.

“Don’t walk away, I can’t imagine my life without you.” Remus nuzzled his face in Sirius’ hair and continued whispering in his ear, “Please don’t become a stranger before hearing everything. I am going to keep my promise. I promised you I’d help you, I will, Sirius, I will.” Sirius felt a light brush of lips on his temple and it made him want to cry more, but in less pain.

Sirius turned to face Remus who looked so sad, yet radiant than the last time he saw him. It was something about him that made him look prettier every new second to Sirius.

“Do you really love me? Me?” Remus came closer to him, almost sitting on his lap.

Sirius’ heart broke a little at the tone. Why that was even a question? Doesn’t he deserve to be loved? There is no doubt in loving my Moony. He is the loveliest person in my life!

He leaned closer to him and stopped when he was an inch away. Remus was burning scarlet and it seemed that he had held his breath. Sirius was gazing into him very closely, examining every scar on his face. He touched the one on the bridge of his nose and he felt the other boy shivered. Remus was not moving anywhere farther, neither coming closer. Sirius was lost in the strange beauty of him. He was tracing every feature of him and it was becoming difficult to breathe in the heat of the moment.

“With every inch of my heart.”

But Remus shook his head, tears spilling from the brims as he whimpered, “I don’t deserve it.”

And it broke Sirius’ heart into million pieces. He held his wet face in the cup of his hands.

“It’s not true, Moony-oh Moony…”

Sirius embraced him and Remus slumped into his arms. He sincerely loved him. Loved every inch of him. He had waited for so long. Remus’ heart was beating furiously that Sirius could tell by the thudding in his ears. Remus broke into a sweet chortle between his tears and sniffing, and he looked adorable.

“I especially don’t deserve the love of my favorite person in the world.”

“Hope you are talking about me?” Sirius still had him in his arms, his head resting on his shoulders.

Sirius was anxious for Remus’ response, but he also wanted to be patient this time. He was not going to presume the situation wrongly this time.

To Sirius’ surprise, Remus was unstoppably weeping and he knew that those were happy tears because he was laughing merrily and struggling to stop the river streaming from his eyes. Sirius’ right hand were completely damp as it was still there, holding his jaws and his thumb was tracing his cheek while his fingers travelling to nape from his ear, back and forth.

Remus finally spoke, “I’m sorry for this unexpected...pool of tears...”

But Sirius wiped his tears, shaking his head to gesture that he didn’t mind.

“Sirius?”

“Hmm?”

“I do love you, too.” Remus’ breath was hot against his neck.

“Moony, you don’t have to-“

“No, you won’t interrupt me, Sirius Black, because I’m not letting us get ruined by your stupid pessimism!”

Sirius tried to hide his grin because there was the Remus Lupin he loved; the one who made him silent and flustered. He led him to the most corner of their dorm by window and they both sat on their wooden floor. The room was dark but the moonlight emitted faintly.

“You don’t know…” Remus murmured in a despaired voice.

He could sense that Remus was struggling with expressing his feelings. Sirius had known Remus from ages and he was familiar with that some nasty emotions laid beneath the deadpanned face. For instance, if there was rage sweeping inside of Remus, it would be hard to figure out what was going behind that serene face. And Sirius would be damned if he didn’t give him a chance to relax and explain his heart out. He squeezed Remus’ hand and smiled encouragingly.

“Hey, I’m here. I’ve got all night for you. Tell me everything, everything that is in your mind. I’ll listen to you this time and stop being prick like before.”

Remus exhaled a sigh of relief, easing his shoulders.

“I had been there. Just like you, when I was struggling through it since third year. And I knew the night you were there for me on my worst full moon. I never told any of you about that. On that night my full moon was worse because the three of you knew about me and i feared that one of you might let slip of my condition to anyone in the school. That fear worsened my condition. But after my transformation I found you outside the Whomping Willow, you were there for me even rather than being disgusted with me-“

Sirius opened his mouth to protest but Remus held his hand up to let him finish what he wanted to say.

“Pads, you didn’t hesitate to see me in blood and wounds. You cured me even you hardly knew any healing spells.” Remus chuckled and Sirius blushed.

“Every full moon, you held me. The comfort always came with you when I was resting in your arms but it was not same when James held me. I didn’t want to be rude but one day I was this close to tell James off and bring you instead!

“I convinced myself in the fourth year that they were just desperate stupid desires for having someone’s attention because you and I have had this bond, you know...but now I have this urge to be around you to just know if you’re doing fine. Every summer, none of my night went by not thinking about you, worrying about you for how your family was treating you. I can’t see your sad eyes.” He paused to look down at Sirius’ hand and then added, “Sirius, I’m weak. Much vulnerable as a lycanthrope, but if you’ll have me, I’ll always protect you.

Sirius thought he had never felt such fathomless influx of love for someone until now, and it was like his heart was singing Remus like a mantra.

“I never thought you’d like me in that way. And yesterday night in the common room you told me that you were falling in love with me, I couldn’t believe my luck. I thought it was universe playing tricks on me-and I just couldn’t say the right words, Sirius. I’m sorry I made you feel that I rejected you. God, I can never reject you.”

Sirius stared him so tranquilly, a smile lingering on his face. He stayed quiet for Remus to let out every single thing from his heart. This was a new Remus Lupin he was looking at. Someone, who never displayed his emotions, was now pouring his heart out to him. Sirius was starting to feel special.

After a brief silence and gazing into each other’s eyes, Remus stood, propping up on his knees and leaned towards Sirius, holding his face in his hands. Sirius thought, he was going to melt into a puddle.

“And tonight, in this very moment, I wholeheartedly confess that I’ve been in love with you and I’ll always love you, no matter what.”

Sirius thought that his heart would burst and before he could’ve processed those words and depict his next move, Remus had pressed his lips against his into a very passionate kiss that almost took him by surprise. He snaked his arms up to Remus ribcage, reaching to grasp his shoulders as he sunk into the kiss. It was like being intoxicated under those lips which were soft like silk.

They broke apart a little to catch their breaths.

“Merlin, I just kissed Remus Lupin.”

They suddenly laughed into each other’s mouths, pressing their foreheads together.

“Yeah, just Remus Lupin.” Remus smiled weakly at him and Sirius sprang on his feet, holding out his hand.

“Come here.” And Remus did. He seized his hand and they stood before each other. “Listen to me, before you let out that trash talk, you are not what you think you are. You are so much more than that. You have a very good heart inside that chest. I fell in love with that heart right there.” He poked his index finger on his chest where his heart thumped steadily. “You understand? And besides, you’re my Moony. Mine. I’ll always be there for you. I love taking care of you, it’s my favorite hobby.”

Sirius saw Remus blushing and smiling at the same time as he was looking down, and Sirius seized him by his arms and leaned to kiss him on his eyelid.

“I love you, Sirius Black.” Remus whispered.

“Seriously, Moony, I thought you had better taste in men.”

And in return he got a kick in his shin, which led to hitting each other, laughing and running in the dormitory. One chasing after other until they fell on the bed against each other, panting and kissing as if their life depended on it.

“I love you too, Moony, So much.” Sirius held him earnestly as he closed his eyes, savoring the warmth of Remus lying on his body.

Yep, just this beautiful boy on my chest, listening to my heartbeat like a simp! Just Remus Lupin, just the boy I love.

Part 1.

#wolfstar fanfiction #wolfstar #wolfstar fluff #remus x sirius #sirius x remus #sirius is in love with remus lupin #remus loved sirius #moony x padfoot #james potter #love confessions #happy ending

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coralstudiies · 4 years

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hello everyone! I got an ask from an anon asking for tips on time management so i decided to type this out before school starts heheh…

poor time management and procrastination, unfortunately, plague just about all of us lol. people with a short attention span (like me) and who are pretty much always on their phone (me again) and who hate scheduling are the most susceptible to these.

over the years i struggled with time management(studying the night before the exam 🤙🏼) but! these are some tips that have helped me in scheduling, avoiding procrastination and improving time management.

1. Write it down

as always, we’re starting with BEFORE the actual task. write all tasks, assignments, projects and homework, test dates down somewhere (notebook preferably so that you dont lose it. it doesn’t have to be your bujo and you do not have to start a bujo for this specific reason!!!) and write the deadlines. this is subconscious pressure to do work once you get home. also, since you can see everything, it’s easier to schedule it out later

2. Use travel time

i cannot stress this enough!!!! sorry that it appears in all my tips posts but it truly is very useful. for short commutes, review the content you’ve learnt so that when you start on your homework, you’ve already got the hang of it. ie you dont struggle to understand the chapter and be put off from finishing your work because you hate it. long commutes can be used to complete work itself. i like to place some books and a file under my worksheet while i write (if i have a seat lol) or you can take this time to plan your time in greater detail

3. Actually plan your time

you dont have to fancy it up with like, brush pens and highlighters. just do something on google sheets or excel. divide the day into appropriate blocks of time.

for me, since i use a focus timer (50+10 or 100+20, rare cases i do 120 with a long break after that) i keep my days in 1hr blocks. so i’d block in about 1hour after i reach home to chill, clean up and so on, 2hrs for homework and the remaining time can be divided by hour/2hours to complete my work. you can tweak the timings to work for you but so far this one suits me pretty well.

4. NEVER RUSH YOUR HOMEWORK AND REVISION WHEN PLANNING!!!!

i repeat, never rush. because when you give only, say, one hour to review 3 chapters and you fail to do so within that time limit, you feel demoralised and hence, will not want to work more. this is a very common issue i believe. sometimes i would rush revise and when i couldnt stick to the timelines, i’ll feel so defeated that i’ll probably binge watch youtube to cure my self-pity LOL

give yourself an ample amount of time. Assign one or two hours a day as ‘delay time’ (this was my free time) so that you can catch up on anything that unfortunately, you couldn’t finish. Assign one day of the week to be the ‘delay day’ -- anything that you cant finish the week before, do it now. this means that you can still ‘save’ your plan even if it screwed up somewhere along the way. it works wonders, believe me! i used to have ‘delay hours’ after training where i would (ahem sadly) study from 2330-0030 if i needed to. while i was tired, i always got my work done.

5. Prioritise

this one needs no explanation. i usually choose which task to start on based on a combination of deadline+importance+graded/non-graded. i start early for graded assignments because they count towards my semester’s final grade and i want to hand up the best quality work i can. find a system which works for you! note: start project work and large assignments early.

you can assign simple tasks first to start the ball rolling, and proceed with harder tasks.

alternatively, if you’re at your prime focus, start with the hardest and scale down to the simple.

6. Make good use of holidays + Wake up early

ok i used to game a LOT and go to training a LOT (still happens now lol) during holidays but i wouldnt get any of my holiday work done.

do your holiday homework first. schedule your time well, and maybe stay home and resist the urge to go out for the first 5 days. finish all your work (again, schedule well) with breaks in between.

thereafter, schedule maybe 3-5 hours a day to revise. if you’re going out with friends, i’d suggest you wake up early to study because once you come home you’re usually dead tired HAHA

so how early is early?? during my o levels study break i would wake up at 0330 (yes, for real) but i slept at 2130 every night. so thats 6 hours of sleep wew but AT LEAST i was very productive. think about it this way: waking up early to study at 0330 makes you more productive than studying till 0330. you don’t have to wake up THIS early, but preferably early enough when the sky’s still dark so that you can fit in those extra hours. DO NOT sacrifice sleep. that’s why you can see i’m still sleeping my usual amount, albeit sleeping and waking earlier.

more perks of waking up early: its quiet outside, the air is cool, your mind gets into the ‘get shit done’ mode, and if you absolutely have to use your phone to search something up, your social media probably won’t be pinging. in other words, early mornings are actually a great time to study! remember to eat something though :>

7. Remove all distractions to prevent possible procrastination

YES i know this is the dreaded one. lock your phone somewhere inconvenient and put the key outside your room. or if you don’t lock it make sure your phone is far away from you as possible. please i know how deadly your phone can get so just put it away.

if you find yourself drifting away and looking at something else, remove that.

alternatively, change up your study environment. you don’t have to go to the library or something (you can if you want to). this is as simple as studying in a different part of the house. a new environment helps to ‘prick’ my mind and help me ignore distractions. i dont know if this is scientifically proven but oh well, worth a try.

8. 2-minute rule

this is something i picked up from @studyquill! it’s pretty helpful (although i was skeptical at first). Tell yourself you’re only going to work for 2 minutes, which helps you get into the workflow. chances are you’ll get so into it (ok not in an excited but rather in a determined way) that you don’t feel like stopping.

if you’ve had a long day and after 2 mins you still don’t get any momentum, just stop and take a 15 min break. that means you’re really too tired and there’s no point in forcing yourself to complete your work.

9. Use reminders

set reminders on your phone for the tasks you need to do. for example, if you’ve planned to start work at 1500, set the reminder to ring 5 minutes before so you have time to gather all your stuff and ready yourself to do work. no excuses!!

set reminders for your breaks as well! those are equally important.

10. Reward yourself

if everything you need to do is done, give yourself a pat on the back. have you been extremely productive? great, treat yourself to your favourite drink/snack. honestly i feel like many of our brains function on the ‘reward’ system. if we reward ourselves for a job well done, we’ll be more willing to complete tasks and stay on time in the future (the brain thinks there’s a reward coming)

remember to take care of your mental health as well! this is one good way to ensure you don’t end up mentally exhausted.

Apps to help with time management

1. Tide - focus timer, meditation, beautiful and calming soundtracks (my fav!)

2. Pendo - everything in one tbh, schedule, to-do list, journal etc. (my fav too!)

3. Forest - focus timer $$$ (free alternative: flora)

4. Donut Dog - focus timer

5. Todoist - minimalist to-do list

6. Minimalist - minimalist to-do list

7. Google Calender - your entire schedule

8. Todait - smart study planner

a quick search will bring out many more! note these are all available on iOS but i’m not sure about google play. you don’t need everything to be productive. i rely only on Tide, Pendo and my iPhone calender and reminders. It’s less about having many ‘tools’ and more about how you properly and wisely utilise them to boost your productivity and manage your time.

also i don't think pendo is very well-known?? so this is how its interface looks like for 'Notes':

it's pretty, simple and clean and there are several themes to choose from! i rly like it omg HAHA (not a promo)

alright that's all! hope it helped :>

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youwerenevermeanttofeelalone · 4 years

Photo

Somebody Sweet to Talk To ❁︎ 𝐒𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐍

Pairing: Harry Osborn x Plus Size Reader

Word Count: 5.3k

Gif credit: @nickyrob

Summary & Warnings || Series Masterlist

A/N: this is the last chapter! Thank you so much for sticking around and giving this series more love I ever thought it could get.

𝐀𝐧𝐝 𝐈 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮, 𝐈 𝐝𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐞𝐭

𝐈𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐠𝐨 𝐈'𝐥𝐥 𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐲 𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐝

𝐈 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮, 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐛𝐨𝐝𝐲 𝐬𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐤 𝐭𝐨

𝐒𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐛𝐨𝐝𝐲 𝐬𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐤 𝐭𝐨

❁︎ ・・・・・❁︎ ・・・・・ ❁︎ ・・・・・❁︎

When she spoke about fear of rejection with you, Gwen didn’t think you would go to the point of not attending school to avoid Harry. He had asked about you at the end of the day, saying he waited in the library and you never came. Upon arriving at The Compound, you weren’t there — Tony said he had sent you to do an important job, an emergency according to him. Gwen was aware of it not being true, but she kept quiet.

She hadn’t told anything to Peter and by the way her boyfriend reacted he didn’t know a single detail yet. She wouldn’t be the one to tell him, what she would do was try and get Harry to speak too. She wasn’t sure if it would be harder or easier than with you, the conversation with you had been impromptu and now she was invested not only because of Harry but because of you.

She initiated said conversation as soon as possible, worried about Harry’s quietness. He had left early in the afternoon, and at school they didn’t see him until the time of leaving. Peter had sneaked out of school to put on the suit and lunchtime had just started, it was her only chance.

Finding Harry in the library, she smiled sadly at the way he seemed to be keeping your favorite seat with his backpack. “Har?”

“Mmmh?”

“Can we talk?” He shrugged, putting his pen down. Gwen sat down in front of him. “How are you?”

“Fine.”

“You look tired.”

“Lots of homework.”

“I know where she is,” she sighed, knowing the only problem Harry had with homework was concentrating long enough to finish it.

He lifted his gaze. “Who?”

“(Y/N). I also know everything else...”

Harry tensed, back straightening as he sat properly. “Define everything.”

“Her crush on Peter, that you’re not really dating, that she—“ Gwen stopped herself. It wasn’t her place to tell him.

“Who told you that?”

“She did...”

How could you do that?! Had you told Gwen everything to then disappear and get rid of him? Harry didn’t ever consider something like that could happen. “Why?” he demanded to know.

“I’ll tell you if you tell me why you did it.”

He cast his eyes down. “She looked miserable, staring at you and Peter from the kitchen. And from here,” he pointed at the seat beside him, “and from the hallways... I thought Peter liked her and that he’d get jealous— sorry, but you’ve considered it too.”

Gwen nodded. “But I’ve actually asked him, and he’s protective because she’s been through a lot. Like you.”

“You think Peter tells me the truth all the time?” he scoffed bitterly, “no one does. Turns out not even her...”

“She needs time.”

“She could’ve asked for it.”

“She doesn’t know how to, or has she ever asked something from you?”

Harry considered the question. You never had, not even when you had anxiety attacks, or when you were tired... you didn’t even tell him no if he wanted a kiss when you weren’t obliged to give him anything. “I would’ve given it either way.”

“How if she didn’t ask?”

Gwen knew the answer, she wasn’t stupid and Harry knew that. “I know her well enough to know what she needs.”

“You’ve known her for a month,” his best friend reminded him in a kind tone that told him she was trying to tease.

What a great month it had been. Had... that stung. Harry had thought that when the fake relationship came to an end you would remain friends. He would’ve settled for that, consequences an all.

“Get to the point, Gwen.”

“Are you in love with her?”

The answer didn’t come crashing down onto him, gentle strings of realization flowed mixed with his blood through his veins, pumped by the heart you had made skip beats many times now. “Yes.” Not even saying it shocked him — he couldn’t fathom, no matter how hard he tried, why they called it falling in love if he felt like soaring when your palms or lips pressed together.

The bell indicating the end of the recess rang. Gwen stood up, looking at her friend who had his eyes fixed on his notebook, a couple of fingers playing with the spirals. “Then tell her. She deserves to know,” she suggested before leaving the library.

❁︎ ・・・・・❁︎ ・・・・・ ❁︎ ・・・・・❁︎

Looking down at the time, you exhaled in order to calm your nerves down. Happy opened the door, letting you in first. Dragging your luggage, holding it tightly by the handle as the wheels rolled against the floor, you tried to mentally prepare yourself to face Harry.

You had seen his car parked outside and Gwen had confirmed to you via text that he was still there. It was a Thursday, of course he was hanging out with his friends there.

He looked handsome, as always, with his right ankle up, resting on his left knee. Harry gazed up, locking his eyes with yours — your breath got locked in your throat; fuck him and how pretty he was.

You greeted them three. Gwen stood from her seat to kiss your cheek — you were sure she was trying to help you relax. You let the handle of the luggage go in order to hug her.

“Did you bring us something?” Peter asked to tease you as Gwen and you parted from the hug.

Harry set his jaw when another voice answered. “She brought me, is that enough?”

“Really, (Y/N)?” Peter whined jokingly, bolting up to greet you and your companion.

You huffed a laugh, mostly to hide a sigh. “Blame Tony, not me.”

“Hey!” Harley whined too, dropping his belongings, “you two love me and missed me very much!”

You hummed sarcastically to mess up with him. In all honesty, Harley had been of immense help in the past two days. Tony had helped you be free from school so you’d be able to visit home to spend time with your dad for a week, and then he called to tell you he needed your help to convince Harley to join him in the lab as an engineer. The problem with Harley was that he knew how to read people — he had known something was wrong the moment he saw you which forced you to open up to him to get him to come. He was the annoying brother you had never had.

You weren’t sure if you should acknowledge Harry individually. You wanted to, you had missed him, but you didn’t know how or if he wanted you to speak to him at all.

Harley nudged you, making you take your eyes off Harry. “What?”

“I asked if you want to watch that movie you didn’t find in the plane.”

“Uhmmm... later, yeah?” You waited for Harley to say yes before curling your fingers around your luggage’s handle again.

Harry stood up. “Do you need help?”

Gwen lifted both eyebrows when you turned to look at her for a sign as to what to do, nodding downward as she stared at you. You cleared your throat to not stutter, “you could make me company while I unpack...”

Harry accepted, waiting for you to lead the way. He found estrange how much you were trying to avoid his eyes and instead looked for Gwen’s. It made him feel nervous. After his conversation with the blonde, you granted him a lot of time to think about what he wanted and needed — you broke his heart in the process but still, he was doing his best to not reproach you.

“Did you have a good week?” He asked, hoping he didn’t sound as bitter as he felt.

“Not really,” you told him honestly. Harry frowned, sitting down on your bed as he stared at you. You avoided his gaze by opening your luggage and explained, “I wanted to spend more time with my dad.”

“Why didn’t you?”

You stuttered before answering. It was more complicated than it sounded — when you had decided you needed to spend time with your dad you felt silly, like a kid running to their dad because they were scared. And you had been, painstakingly so; it had been a mix of being scared of your feelings, of being rejected, and of all those things you were insecure about.

Telling the truth to your dad, regarding everything, from the way you felt about things you hated speaking about to the fact that your relationship with Harry wasn’t real, had been freeing. For the first time you had told him something because you wanted and not because you felt obliged to do it because he’s your dad.

“Because I need to stop running away from my problems,” you mumbled, taking out a stack of blouses and dropping them onto the bed. “And he promised to visit more often,” you half-joked.

Harry huffed a laugh. “And glare to scare off your boyfriends?”

You carried the stack of blouses in both hands, walking toward the closet. “I hope not. Kind of.”

“Kind of?”

Your eyes narrowed as you tried to find the right words to say. “It’s nice to have people who are protective, but sometimes it’s so overwhelming...” you made a face, scrunching up your nose. It was harder to explain than to think or feel, like most things. At the same time, it was easy to talk to Harry. “I’m scared of not being capable of taking care of myself in a weird way? Everyone around me acts like I’m useless at it which might be my fault but—“ you stopped yourself in order to open the closet doors with one hand.

“Why would that be your fault?” He asked, still from the bed, as he heard the sound of clothing hangers against a metal railing.

“Mmmmmh... Have you ever wanted to cling to something that hurts you because it reminds you of your best days?”

“Yeah.”

“I’ve never gone to therapy because of that,” you confessed. “I know I need it, but I don’t want to let go of the things that make people want to be around me.”

Saying it took a gigantic weight off your shoulders. Accepting it to yourself had been startling, knowing you were closed off to progress because of your inability to let go. Learning you could let go of negative things and stay with the positive ones had never been an option for you, it meant accepting something was wrong with you. But you were open to it now, Gwen gifted you the inspiration to do it.

“What things do you think make people want to be around you?” He asked curiously, resting the back of his head on the headboard.

You let the socks in your grasp fall back into the luggage. “I’m... emotionally unstable. I suck at making friends but I’m terrified of being alone. It’s like... uhmmm... like when someone looks vulnerable and you want to protect them? But worse because I could burst out crying or explode in rage.”

“That’s not it.” You weren’t sure if you wanted to hear an explanation, he could see it on your face. “It’s nothing bad,” Harry assured. “You’re underestimating yourself.”

“I don’t like myself.”

“I know, but...” he didn’t want to sound preachy, “but you are keeping yourself from one of the most amazing things in the world.”

“I know that! I mean, I don’t like hating myself, Harry, that’s obvious.”

He shook his head. “I wasn’t talking about that. Liking yourself is important, and it feels good, but no one likes themselves all the time...” he trailed off, “I don’t know how to say it,” he laughed. He had spent the entire week coming up with an idea, but one was more ridiculous than the other.

“Just say it, I’m not gonna laugh.”

“Maybe, and take this from someone who isn’t in your shoes, maybe you hate yourself because you haven’t given your own self a chance.” He left the bed when he saw you tilt your head in curiosity, walking around it in order to have your entire attention. “All those things you say you are, they are true, but they’re not what make you... well, you. They’re things that you can’t always control, that sometimes you don’t realize you are doing, right?” You nodded in affirmation. He continued speaking. “But the things you do consciously, because you want to, those are the things that make you special and different from us.”

You gave him a tight, fake, smile. “You don’t know me that well, you know? You wouldn’t like the version of myself everyone else has seen.”

“The bossy one? Or the pessimistic? Or the one that hides things from others because is scared to trust people?” He placed both hands on your shoulders, looking at you with a seriousness you had never seen on him. “You don’t have to tell me everything about you for me to know you well.”

“No one should be okay with that — it sounds... bad.”

“You don’t choose what people like about you,” he said simply. “And for what it sounds like, I wouldn’t have fallen in love with you if it was up to you.”

His words dawned on you at the same time they did on him.

“I—“

He interrupted you by shushing you, “you don’t have to say anything. I shouldn’t have dropped it like that.”

“No, uhm, it’s fine,” you nodded, fixing your eyes on the painting behind him. Was it crooked? It looked crooked. “I just— I wasn’t expecting that. I thought you had a crush on Gwen. At this point, I might have a crush on Gwen!”

“Is that why you told her we aren’t really dating?”

You sighed. He was going to make you say it, it was real and there was no escape. Subconsciously, you turned to longingly look at the door before sighing again. “Not completely, but yeah.”

“And then you ignored me for a week,” he reminded you. God, he needed to let that go.

Nodding, you dragged your gaze to his face. You still didn’t want your feelings for him to be anything more than a crush so the scientific explanation was a comfort. He said he was in love with you, and you hoped it was true yet his reciprocation could be an illusion, a mere crash in the system his brain was. What if he had confused romantic love with the friendly kind? What if he only had a crush on you?

“I was with my dad,” you excused.

“You talked to Gwen throughout the week.”

You corrected him, “I told her where I would be before leaving.” Seeing him glare, you placed both hands on his chest. It took you a few seconds to say what you wanted to say. “You don’t need someone as volatile as me in your life, I don’t want that for you.”

He looked down, eyes dancing across the face he liked so much. You wanted to cry, your nose was scrunched up and bottom lip slightly trembling — there was no way in hell it was a mere excuse, you were openly telling him because you cared. No one had ever been so honest with him, no one had ever looked at Harry Osborn and said ”I’m fucked up and you shouldn’t put up with it,” and the fact would haunt him for the rest of his life for better or for worse.

“I want it,” he rasped. “I want it like I wanted to die a year ago. There’s not a part of me that doesn’t mean it when I tell you that I’m in love with you.” You would oppose, he saw it in your face before your brain could process it like he had seen in your face the need of someone to talk to when your brain tricked you to think you were into Peter. “(Y/N),” he called your name in a whisper, voice laced in the tone one should say a prayer, not a beg because he had bowed to never beg for love again, “it’s my choice, not yours. If you don’t feel the same way, I get it. But if you do and the only reason you are not willing to be with me is that you have a few issues, I need you to understand that I won’t judge you.”

“For the love of God, Harry,” you sniffed, hands coming up to fix the folded collar of his shirt. “I would never think you would judge me. I just wish...” you swallowed the lump in your throat to tell him, like Gwen, Harley, and your dad said you should, “I wish I could be different, treat you tenderly, defend you from the people who constantly judge you because of your aloof manner, teach you how to cook every single thing I know how to, hold your hand all the time, and play with your hair like I’ve wanted since we went to the movies for the first time... it’s just the things that you would have to endure in between wouldn’t make me different from your dad and I would never forgive myself if you ended up tensing in my presence like you do in his.”

“D— don’t,” he stuttered, blinking rapidly so the tears would just fall down, “don’t say things like that and then leave.”

“I don’t want to leave!” You startled him by exclaiming. “I threw up when I found out I liked you and wanted to tell you that I couldn’t continue with the lie, yet I didn’t dare because having you around even if it was fake was better.” It was more pathetic and dramatic than you had considered, the overwhelming realization made tears spill out. Tears he wiped with his thumbs, caressing your cheeks. “And then on Monday you so nicely and kindly walked under the rain with me because I said it relaxed me. No one had ever done something of sorts for me — maybe Tony, but you get what I mean.”

“I like walking down the rain with you,” he sniffed, thumbs now tracing your facial structure. “I felt important by doing it that day, and when you lent me your hoodie my ego skyrocketed. You do that often, you know? I feel comfortable, safe, with you.”

“I feel important when you laugh when I say something stupid,” you snorted, sliding your hands down his chest and then taking them away. “When you say what you’re thinking even though I didn’t ask... Gwen told me you’re different with me than with them, and if I hadn’t been freaking out I would’ve cried because she said you look happy with me and I want you to be happy.”

Harry gripped your hands, pulling you toward him. He guided you to the couch where he sat down, you laughed against his side as you sat too. “I—“ both spoke at the same time, turning to look at the other. You made a movement with your hand so he’d go on. He shook his head and mirrored said movement. Licking your bottom lip, you decided to take the risk. “I’m in love with you too. And I’m really scared.”

He huffed a relieved laugh. “You think I’m not? My dad was right to say you deserved someone better.”

You didn’t think so. In your eyes there wasn’t someone better than Harry, defects and virtues. “Yeah, but I don’t believe (Favorite Artist) to be available nor interested,” you joked out of nervousness.

Letting your hands go, he threw an arm around your shoulders and pulled you in a side-hug. “Their loss,” he joked back, leaning his head to rest on top of yours.

You slid an arm around his waist, humming. You didn’t know what to say after that, or to do... he did, Harry’s knuckles brushed your cheek, adding a tiny bit of pressure so you’d crane your neck a little more; once happy with the positioning, he kissed you.

His lips were slightly chapped this time. The kiss wasn’t sweet, not literally nor metaphorically — Harry was eager to pour everything he had to offer in it, so eager his mouth was devouring yours as he constantly huffed through his nose to not choke. His left hand was firmly on your neck, holding your head in place as you messed up the collar of his shirt by fisting it in your free hand just so you could kiss back with as much intensity.

You had to pull away to get some air, coughing up a laugh when he whined.

“Wanna go to the movies tomorrow?” Harry asked, dropping his head to once again rest it on top of yours.

“I can’t. Tony rented a laser tag arena for Harley, Peter, Gwen, Morgan, and me and we’re doing that tomorrow after school. You can come if you want, I don’t think they’ll mind.”

He lifted his head, bolting off the couch. “Let’s go for an ice cream, then.”

You looked up at him. “isn’t it a little too late to ingest that much sugar?”

“We’ll take a walk after. Come on.” He offered his hand to help you up.

Begrudgingly standing up, you glared at him with the ghost of a smile curling up your mouth. He placed his hands on your waist just because he could. You inhaled sharply, lifting both eyebrows to silently ask what he wanted.

Leaning in, he laughed almost on top of your lips and softly kissed you. Harry then turned serious. “You understand this would be a real date, right? I know it’s not the greatest way to ask you to be my real girlfriend, but... you get it.”

Bitting your bottom lip, you rolled it between your teeth to consider everything as quickly as possible. “I understand, that’s why I didn’t say no.”

Harry had never looked more handsome than at that moment, beaming down at you with a smile that could light up the entire country. “Come on, girlfriend,” he laughed happily, clutching on your waist to move you toward the door.

❁︎ ・・・・・❁︎ ・・・・・ ❁︎ ・・・・・❁︎

“Let’s make a bet,” Harry told you, strapping on the vest. You hummed so he would continue. “When my team wins, you’ll have to see that movie I told you about and you said sounded boring with me. Tonight.”

Snorting at how sure he sounded that his team would win, you double-checked your vest was secured. “When my team wins, you’ll have to wake up early tomorrow and drive Morgan and me to the attraction park.”

Your team sucked, Peter would let Morgan shoot at him two out of three times they faced each other, and Harley was too busy trying to mess with everyone he encountered to shoot at Gwen who was so damn good at playing that you tried to coerce Harry into exchanging teammates, and to make it worse Peter would let Gwen shoot at him multiple times.

Harry had such a cocky grin imprinted on his face that you didn’t know if you wanted to kiss him or smack him. He was taunting you, purposefully following only your movements to be the one to shoot you. If your teammates weren’t too busy being goofy, they could have used that to their advantage and shoot him. When you whispered something about it in Harley’s ear, he said it would be cheating which didn’t make any sense but you supposed he just wanted you all to have some fun.

Chasing one another and shooting continuously, Harry lost sight of you. “You can’t hide forever,” he teased, yelling with his gun ready to shoot. Harry knew you would hide and use Harley as bait, that was what he would’ve done.

You snuck up on him, holding him from behind with an arm as you stretched the other from under his own to reach and shoot at his chest. Feeling him turn around, you hiccuped and moved to run off. One of his hands caught yours, and both lifted your guns at the same time and shot at each other with fingers intertwined.

You let go suddenly, realizing you were supposed to be chasing each other and shooting, not only the second one. Or that was what happened to you — Harry’s plan was going smoothly.

With a minute left in the clock, you decided to truly try your luck. Stalking him, you squatted down behind a barrel and allowed him to approach slyly like you had been aware he would. Fifteen seconds left and you came out, reaching up to pull him into a kiss.

Holding back a smirk as he kissed back, you lifted your gun and pulled on the trigger as many times as you could to shoot at his chest.

“You sly little shit!” He gasped, parting from the kiss and looking down. God, his plan was really going to work, he was sure because behind you Gwen was chatting with Peter and Harley and shooting them constantly.

Hearing the timer go off, you lowered your weapon. “You’re the one who got distracted, not me.”

He glared at you, making a motion with his head for all of you to leave the arena in direction to the screen showing the score. Everyone followed suit, chatting happily and making jokes.

You weren’t in the mood for jokes. Your team had lost by 54 points which didn’t sound as bad by how disastrous your team had been but you were competitive. And Harry knew it. And he rubbed it on your face as you left the place, the smirk now making his face glow.

Shit, you were almost glad your team had lost while watching him, but you would of course never tell anyone that. Not even Gwen who was trying not to laugh at the way you stared at Harry could know.

Harry pulled onto your hand, dragging you inside the building. He was excited to show you the last minute changes he made to the design of the apartment.

Thankfully, he had followed your advise of not filling the biggest couch with pillows. You followed him to the kitchen where he opened the cabinet to take a couple of bowls out.

Harry poured your favorite snack into a bowl, sliding it closer to you as he poured his own favorite snack into another bowl. You stifled a scoff, picking up both bowls and carrying them toward the center table in the living room.

You didn’t really pay attention to the film, too busy making out. Harry couldn’t keep his hands and lips off you — you didn’t want him to do it either.

“I missed you,” he pulled on your bottom lip as he bit down into it.

You breathed a laugh, “you saw me earlier. And yesterday.”

Harry dragged his mouth down to your jaw, leaving light kisses there. “I meant those days you weren’t in town.”

“I missed you too,” you told him, running your fingers through his soft hair. “But I’ll make it up to you, I’ll have a few free hours every weekday.”

“Are we finally leaving school at the time we should?”

Humming, you shifted as he pushed your head back to fit his face in the crock of your neck. “Except for Wednesdays, I think.”

“Why?” He asked, lips brushing your skin.

Sighing deeply, you confided him, “I’ll start going to therapy next week.”

Harry lifted his head to face you. He smiled, brightly like he had the day before. “I’m glad. And proud of you.”

You smiled softly, hugging him by the waist. He wrapped an arm around your neck, pulling your head onto his chest. “Is it normal to be scared?”

“Yeah,” he assured you. “But it will be okay.”

“You promise?”

He gazed down at you. You had already been staring up at him in search for his answer. “I promise, baby.”

Harry eventually moved to a laying down position on the couch. You couldn’t even doubt yourself or thought of the possibility of hurting him with your weight. He tugged on your top so you’d lay your head on his chest again.

You slowly did it, trying not to move. Harry placed a hand on your lower back, kissing your forehead. It took you a few minutes to relax, but you saw the fact that he hadn’t gotten mad nor impatient and the fact that you found the position more comfortable than you imagined as a good sign.

In fact, you were so comfortable you fell asleep on his chest. Something about his familiar smell and the steadiness of his breathing made you feel safe, and his knuckles trailing over your spine lulled you.

Harry woke you up by softly shaking you. “(N/N), baby,” he whispered, “wake up, it’s dinner time.”

“Sorry,” you slurred, blinking rapidly to adjust to the flashing lights from the moving frames in the TV.

He sat up as you pushed yourself off the couch. “It’s okay, I feel asleep too.”

You checked your cellphone to make sure everything was okay at The Compound. You only had a text from Gwen, teasing you about your attempts of winning at laser tag earlier.

“Wanna make dinner with me?” Harry asked you, turning the lights on and the TV off.

You accepted, following toward the kitchen again.

“I’ll drive you home after dinner,” he told you, handing you a few ingredients. “We have to wake up early tomorrow.”

“You’re waking up early on a Saturday?”

He hummed. “We’re taking Morgan to the attraction park, remember?”

“You won the bet, you cheating little shit.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He said it with a smirk very similar to the one he carried while playing laser tag, closing the refrigerator and moving toward the cupboard.

Once you had placed the ingredients onto the counter, you crossed your arms in front of your chest, tightly. “So you’re not going to deny it?”

Harry pecked your lips, smirking still. “Nope.”

You gasped. “You sly little shit! You didn’t have to cheat for me to want to spend time with you!”

“I didn’t want you to think I’m clingy,” he mumbled, avoiding your eyes with the excuse of needing to take a knife.

You softly nudged his hip with yours, opening your palm so he’d hand you the knife. “You’re not clingy. And that knife is too small for your hand, you could hurt yourself.”

He followed your movements with his eyes as you exchanged the small knife for the chef’s one. Handing it to him, you gave him a pleased nod. He snorted, not able to help it.

“What?”

“Nothing,” he said, smiling as he started cutting onions. “Can you help with the carrots?”

“Not until you tell me what is it you find so funny,” you jokingly defied him, opening the drawer where he kept the knives and peelers.

“You’re adorable, that’s all.”

You scoffed, albeit smiling, staying speechless as you followed the task he had given you. It occurred to you, as you observed he moved comfortably and almost through muscle memory while cooking, that you had made him take a liking to it. You took pride in it. Never in your life you thought you would be able to impact someone’s life positively or to grow to love someone in a romantic way — it seemed like Gwen was right when she said you too did amazing things for people.

Kissing you goodnight for the fifth time, he wished you a good night. “I’ll text you when I get home.”

You hummed, pecking his lips before parting from him. “Sleep well, Morgan has lots of energy all the time.”

Harry sighed, watching you slide the key into the lock of The Compound’s front door. He would wake up at 7:00 am on Saturdays for the rest of his life if needed, and he would probably do it gladly even though he really fucking hated mornings.

#ssttt #harry osborn x reader #harry osborn x plus size reader #plus size reader #plus size fanfiction #plus size series #harry osborn series #fake dating au #harry osborn #marvel x reader #marvel x plus size reader #marvel series

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lgbtyrus · 5 years

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Two Exes on Mars

A Tyrus fic where they’re aged up + broken up :) It will have a ‘happily ever after’, I promise. Note: IDK if you know your Andi Mack lore, but just in case, Shadyside is in a fictional US state called Midwest.

Part 1/? (I’m thinking 3 or 4)

Words: 2,668

He kissed him goodbye. It wasn’t even rainy or cloudy outside, much less foggy. It was super bright and sunny, and Cyrus could hear every single bird in Shadyside chirping as his now ex-boyfriend walked out the front door of his house. He waited until TJ was out of his driveway to shut the door and break out in tears, pressing his forehead and fist against his door.

Why? he wondered. Why? Why? Why?

But he knew why. He knew why TJ had let him go in the worst breakup in the world. He had tried to a week ago which led to Cyrus breaking down in front of him and ended up with them back together. But the tension between them was so obviously, and it lead to TJ’s horrible mood swings and random outbursts he never apologized for. It made Cyrus feel like crap. Then in the middle of the week, TJ tried breaking up with him over text. Cyrus ignored it, and TJ went over to his house the next day like nothing had happened. Not even three days later, TJ came over to break up him a third time. For good.

That just happened two minutes ago, and Cyrus silently let him leave this time. He shouldn’t have ever let him see him cry.

“You have to go to California, Cyrus,” TJ had told him, his eyes red and his hands clenching into tight fists. All Cyrus could do was stare at the floor. It’s not everyday you get a chance to go to USC, but it also meant leaving everyone you loved behind- including TJ. Him and TJ had been together since the 8th grade, and he had included TJ in all of his future plans. For him, being in a long distance relationship was a possibility, and he never thought TJ would be against it.

“I want to go to MSU,” Cyrus shook his head, refusing to look at him. TJ was going to MSU on a basketball scholarship, and yeah, they had a theatre and screenwriting, but it wasn’t USC. It was one of the hardest choices Cyrus had to make.

“You’re clearly lying, Cyrus,” TJ let out a frustrated sigh, “I know when you’re lying.” It’s true, he did. His hands always instinctively went inside a pocket, and Cyrus has never been able to stop it. “Cyrus. I know I’m the main reason why you want to stay in Midwest, but I want you to go to USC. It’s what you want.”

“Does that mean we have to break up, though?” Cyrus asked him sadly, his voice quiet. TJ ran his fingers through his blonde hair and let out a deep breath.

“We’d be doing long distance for four years, Cyrus. I don’t want to hold you back from being at your prime if you’re moping around missing me the entire time.”

“Are you just saying this because you’re the one that’s not going to be fine?” There wasn’t even a pause.

“Yes, Cyrus!” TJ said loudly, startling Cyrus. “I can’t spend four years of my life being sad because I miss you all the time, but I also can’t live with the guilt I’m going to feel if you don’t go to USC. This entire situation is driving me insane, and I really think breaking up is the best way to go.”

“You honestly think that?” Cyrus frowned, looking right up at him. He didn’t want to break down like he did the first time. “You’re just giving up? Not even giving long distance a try. After five years, TJ?”

TJ shamefully looked away before saying, “I love you, Cyrus. But I think it’d hurt less to let you go.”

“How?” Cyrus’ voice started to tremble as he spoke in complete disbelief, “How can you even say you love me right now?” TJ didn’t say anything. He just slowly walking up to Cyrus, each step taking its own time before cupping his face in his hands and kissing him softly.

TJ pulled away, whispering, “Bye, Cyrus.”

Cyrus was now sitting on his bedroom floor, playing music louder than his occasional sob. Andi and Buffy were on their way, but until then, it was him, and a lone polaroid picture he had of him and TJ on their first Valentine’s Day together right in front of him. Him and TJ were sitting on one side of the booth at The Spoon while Marty and Buffy sat on the other side. TJ had his arms around him and was smiling in to his cheek, leaving a very fluttered Cyrus to be captured forever.

“Cyrus!” someone yelled out from downstairs. “We’re here.”

“Upstairs!” Cyrus yelled out, his voice slightly cracking. He hadn’t spoken since TJ left, and his throat hurt. He was glad he left the door unlocked for them because he didn’t have the energy to move.

Andi peaked her head through his bedroom door, frowning when she saw him, “Hi, Cyrus.”

“Hey,” Cyrus waved, “come in.” He hadn’t seen Andi in about three weeks was she was getting busy with her senior art project for SAVA. He loved her for being here during a busy time. Buffy trailed in behind Andi with two loaded grocery bags.

“We brought ice cream and pie,” Buffy held the bags up. “We stopped by your kitchen to get utensils.”

“Thank you because I was not going to move,” Cyrus said. Andi and Buffy sat down on each side of him and rested their heads on his shoulder.

“You can cry if you want,” Andi told him.

“Yeah,” Buffy agreed, “we bought three tissue boxes.”

“I’ve been crying for like an hour, and I’m just tired of it at this point. But this is also probably just the start,” Cyrus mumbled. “How am I supposed to accept that someone I talked to everyday for five years is leaving my life?”

“I know it hurts, Cyrus,” Buffy whispered. “But you’re stronger than you think. You’re going to get through this. Trust me. I’m always right.”

“I know you are,” Cyrus smiled slightly. “You know what sucks the most though?”

“What?” they asked in unison.

“We already have matching tuxedos from prom.” -

Cyrus and TJ showed up with new tuxedos to prom. Andi herself made Cyrus a brand new one. The according to different sources, both Cyrus and TJ had both begged Gus to cancel their Prom Court nomination. Gus thought it was funny until Buffy stepped in, and he got scared.

Cyrus and TJ didn’t sit together at lunch anymore or do homework together or visit the swing sets every Tuesday after TJ got out of tutoring. Cyrus submitted his paperwork to attend USC in the fall and according to Amber who was at Shadyside’s community college, TJ was going to go to MSU to play for their basketball team. Buffy and Marty would be seeing him at MSU seeing they got track scholarships.

Cyrus cried every night for the rest of the school year after finishing his homework because he worked to hard to have his GPA suffer over a boy who clearly didn’t care if he fell apart. He sometimes sat in the bathtub and let music fill his whole bathroom and no matter what, every single song would remind him of TJ. Of course, that was his fault for playing the playlists TJ had made him on Spotify. He wondered if he could see that he was listening to them. He hoped he did.

Cyrus didn’t have any communication with TJ since the last texts he sent him. It was a 2AM on a Saturday night, about three weeks since the breakup. He felt horrible and didn’t know how to stop crying. Even though Buffy had told him to call him whenever, he couldn’t keep dumping everything on her.

Cyrus: hey tj I hope im not waking u up idk if you still have your phone set so that u only get text alerts from me but I just wanted to say that I miss you.

Cyrus: I miss you so much tj idk what to do without you. Everything hurts all the time and I just want to talk to you and hear you voice even if we cant date anymore please talk to me. Please be my friend again tj we were best friends for 5 years we work so good together

Cyrus: I love you. I think that ill always be in love with you.

TJ: Goodnight Underdog.

Cyrus didn’t remember what time he went to sleep, but he felt like he cried for hours after that. The pain in his chest beat him up completely until he was too weak to flip his pillow to the dry side.

At their graduation, Cyrus gave a speech and then walked off stage to everyone in the auditorium clapping. It felt surreal. When he looked up smiling, out of all of the people he saw in the sea of graduates, he saw TJ clapping. He had his lip curled up in one corner which showed that he was on the verge of tears. That was the only time that night Cyrus wanted to cry.

A month into USC and without a doubt, Cyrus was homesick and probably depressed. He had made a great group of friends that were similar to him and super positive. He appreciated them, but 8 out of 10 times, they could never convince him to leave his room. He just stayed in and did homework and work on his script. It was about a man who gets his heart shattered and decided to move to Mars as part of a science experiment and when he’s already in space, he realize that his ex is one of the 100 people on board. Things quickly escalate. His friends loved the scripts and always asked to read updates, but he still sent snippets to Bex because he missed her.

It had been months since the breakup with TJ that happened late April. He should be over it now, he thought a lot of the time. But it still hurt. TJ really shot a hole in his heart and there was nothing he could do about it. He didn’t cry everyday like he used to. But every other few weeks, he snuck into the bathroom to cry so his roommate wouldn’t see. It was embarrassing to admit.

Cyrus kept things in a rotation. Script, class, eat, homework, sometimes friends, and sleep. It was hard to stay happy and to enjoy himself. It was hard to feel like he was living through something when he’s been dead inside for months. With Halloween coming up, he felt even worse. He’s never not had anyone to match costumes with. For five years, him and TJ did a couple’s costume and before that, him, Buffy, and Andi always had something up their sleeves. He missed all of them.

Then one day, his roommate let one of his friends into their dorm room. His roommate was part of his friend group, so there was that. Cyrus was working on his infamous script and didn’t even get a text that he was coming. Usually, he said no, though. “Hey, Rich,” Cyrus said as he walked in.

“Hey, Cy,” he said. “I was in the building and wanted to drop by.”

“Why’d you text Karson and not me?” Cyrus asked.

“You always say no.”

“True. Anyways, what’s up?”

“We need one more person for our Halloween costume. It’s Full House. We need an Uncle Jesse. You in?”

“Yeah,” Cyrus grinned, “of course.”

“Damn,” his friend Bogie said. “That TJ foo fucked you up bad, huh?” All eight of them were sitting around a bonfire before Thanksgiving break. It had been a long night of confessions and telling each other things not a lot of other people knew. Somehow in the moment, Cyrus spent thirty minutes telling them the becoming and downfall of him and TJ. Rich had convinced him to go to therapy on campus early November, and Cyrus wished he had gone sooner. It was getting so much easier to be around his friends and have open conversations.

“Yeah,” Cyrus admitted. “I cried everyday for months. I still cry sometimes.”

“Is that why you spend forever in the bathroom?” Karson asked him. Cyrus nodded.

“Damn, Cy,” Roxana mumbled, “no wonder you were so distant at the beginning of the school year. I thought you were just stuck up, but I guess I was wrong. I’m glad you trust us now, though.”

“Me, too,” Cyrus said.

“So, this TJ,” Bogie asked, “what’s he up to?”

“Besides knowing that he plays basketball for Midwest State U, I have no idea. I haven’t talked to him since I last texted him after the breakup. I’m still good friends with his sister, but she never says anything.”

“Dang, so he’s a baller?” Bogie asked.

“Probably just getting fucked up at parties,” Mikhenna suggested. Cyrus didn’t respond. He just shrugged.

“Do you still love him?” Roxana asked him.

“I don’t think so,” Cyrus shook his head. “I’d be stupid to. But thanks for listening, guys. I feel a lot better. I feel like I belong and that I can finally move on.”

Cyrus didn’t see the point of flying all the way back home for a week long break, so he decided to stay behind in California and take a train to his aunt and uncle’s place. They had a daughter that thirteen and always had juicy middle school drama.

When he was laying down on the bed of the guest room, his phone started vibrating. Buffy was on Facetime, and he answered immediately saying, “Hey, Buff.”

“Hey, Cyrus,” Buffy grinned widely before switching the camera, “look who’s with me!”

Andi waved at the camera, “Hey, Cyrus!”

“Andi,” Cyrus grinned. “How are you? We haven’t talked in like four days.”

“I know right,” Andi laughed. “I’m fine. What about you?”

“I’m good, I’m good,” he said before registering completely that Andi was in Shadyside. “Wait,” he paused, “aren’t you supposed to be in Pennsylvania?”

“Yeah but a professor died, so they gave us two weeks off instead of three days and just postponed winter break.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.”

“I have no idea who he is,” Andi shrugged. “But where are you?”

“With my dad’s sister and her family. I’m just chilling and eating home made food before I go back,” Cyrus smiled. Andi moved over to sit next to Buffy and Cyrus noted that they were at the Mack’s place.

“So enough of that,” Buffy said and then looked at Andi who gave her a stern look. “Come on, let me tell him.”

“Well now you have to tell him,” Andi rolled his eyes.

“That’s very true,” Cyrus agreed.

“I know,” Buffy smirked. “That’s why I said that. Anyways,” she looked right at the camera, “we went to the mall with Amber in her car, but it broke down in the parking lot when we were leaving. She had to call TJ to come pick us up, which was already awkward enough because I always ignore him at school, but I was like whatever, it’s a twenty minute drive. Then in the car, literally, this man, I mean, boy, can ask any question. Any question in the world. Preferably, one directed at his sister, like you know, has your car been acting funky for a while? But he asks me and Andi, ‘How is Cyrus doing?’” Cyrus’ heart dropped. He hasn’t heard anything about TJ in so long he’s forgotten how to react.

“What did you say?” Cyrus asked nervously.

“I said that I charge $50 per fact,” Buffy said, “and he didn’t say anything else.”

“That’s weird,” Cyrus frowned. “I wonder why he doesn’t just ask Amber. I literally call her once a week, every Tuesday.”

“No idea,” Buffy said. “But maybe she just doesn’t answer him for the same reasons I didn’t.”

“Which are?”

“We love you.”

anyways follow my main @webarebares <3 thank you for reading! feel free to send asks if something was confusing or if a typo was horrible or just because. i luv u.

#shoosh star #stars writing #andi mack #tyrus #kind of lol #im just a sucker for angst and cant help writing it whenever i can

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istheresomebodywhocanimagine · 5 years

Text

A Want or A Need

anonymous said: 1970s Freddie comforting you while you’re having an anxiety attack (or when you’re depressed)

TRIGGER WARNING: Mentions of depression, not explicit, but implied

“Knock, knock!” Freddie called out as he entered your apartment without warning, shutting the door behind him before carefully kicking his shoes off. As he picked them up to store them to the side, he looked around and furrowed his eyebrows at the state of your flat.

It looked dusty, as if it hadn’t seen much movement in weeks, and no lights were on at all. There was no music softly droning on from the shoddy old record player, which was usually running at all times. Slowly making his way through the living room, he was greeted by the sight of half-drank cups of water, dirty dishes that had gone stale, and used tissues laying around.

Your design homework was unfinished, laying haphazardly across the couch, but there was no sign of you in the living room or kitchen. This wasn’t you. You never neglected your homework, not once.

Freddie was dismayed – he hadn’t seen you in class for a week or so at this point, and he thought it was because you’d been working nonstop, or possibly sick. Now, signs were beginning to point in the other direction. Walking across the living room, he carefully slid the window open and pulled the drapes back, letting some air in before he made his way back to your bedroom. “Y/N, darling, it’s Freddie,” he called out, his voice less aggressive than before. Something was wrong.

Your bedroom door was shut but not locked when Freddie tested the handle, so he threw caution to the wind and slowly opened the door. It didn’t appear that anyone was in the room at first. It was in a similar state of disarray to the living room, as there were piles of unwashed laundry that appeared untouched, and what Freddie thought was a small pile of blankets on the bed. But then that pile of blankets moved, and out popped your head.

His heart dropped when he saw your own personal state of disarray. Your hair was partially matted on one side, and you looked like you hadn’t showered in a bit because of it. Your cheekbones were more prominent, eye sockets sunken, lips chapped – you looked like a skeleton, wasting away.

“Y/N,” he murmured, mouth slightly agape as he stood in the doorway, not sure whether to cry or comfort you. For your sake, he chose the latter, and he quickly made his way over to the bed, crawling in and kneeling in front of you as he took your head in his hands.

“Hello, Fred,” you murmured, your voice a bit weak as you attempted a smile. “Sorry, I didn’t hear you come in. Wish you would have let me know you were on your way, I would have cleaned the place up a bit.”

“I’m not worried about your place,” Freddie almost laughed, an anxious expression crossing his face as he saw the unhealthy pallor of your skin. “I haven’t heard from you in a week, I decided to drop by to see if you were sick, to see if I could get you anything. But, no offense, Y/N, you look like death warmed over! I’ve been worried sick, lovie, what’s wrong with you?”

“Oh, nothing,” you murmured, leaning against one of his hands and giving him another smile, this one a bit more convincing. “I’ve just been sick, like you’ve said.”

Freddie pursed his lips, noticing the redness of your eyes and the way your cheeks almost looked tear-stained. “I find that hard to believe,” he answered softly, and you felt your chest tighten as you heard the genuine concern lacing his voice.

He was right. You knew so well that he was right, but your mind was telling you to push him away, to make him leave so you could be alone with your thoughts again. What good had that done you this week? None. It had destroyed you both mentally and physically. But why would your brain care about that? It was the reason you were this fucked up in the first place.

“Freddie, don’t worry about me,” you sighed as you reached up and took one of his hands, squeezing it before letting it go. “I’ll be fine, you go out and have a good night with the crew.” He shook his head. Freddie was not about to let you spend tonight alone, and he wasn’t about to leave your apartment without making sure one of his closest friends knew that they were loved and appreciated.

“Scoot,” he demanded, keeping his tone gentle so he wouldn’t upset you. You frowned and complied, Freddie settling down in the bed next to you and wrapping his arm around your shoulder. You cuddled up to him, resting your head on his chest and draping your arm across his stomach as your mind lurched and reeled at the sudden human contact. It wasn’t ready for this much attention, and you would have preferred none at all so you could continue to wallow in your sad state. “So what’s got you down for the count, dear?” he asked sensitively, his touch gentle and reassuring as he began to rub your back.

A shrug was all you could give him. “Just bummed out of my mind,” you almost whispered, your eyes zoning in and out on a fly that was picking its way over one of your half-eaten plates.

“Anything in particular?”

You gave him a small shake of the head this time, a pout forming on Freddie’s lips as he looked down at your motionless being. “Too much happening up here, I can’t focus. I try to eat, but it just makes me feel worse.”

“Well, you have to eat, honey.” He was frowning now and growing more alarmed by the second. The physicality of your deterioration was bad enough, but he wasn’t beyond believing that it could be even worse than he anticipated. “Here, let’s go to the kitchen.”

“M’not hungry,” you mumbled, your voice apathetic to match your reluctance to get up when he tried to lift your arm. He tried again, and again you let your arm flop back down onto his stomach.

Freddie was never one to be discouraged. You knew this, and yet you still were surprised when he simply lifted you up off the bed and carried you like a sack of potatoes into the kitchen. He sat you down on the counter and started to rifle through your cabinets, humming as he did so and finally taking out some rice and a pot to cook it in. “Butter and soy sauce?” he asked, looking up at you with a raised eyebrow, and you pursed your lips before nodding at the fridge. Nothing sounded appetizing, and the fact that Freddie was about to make you eat simultaneously sparked a miniscule amount of joy and a large amount of distress in you.

“Freddie, really, it’s not worth your time-“

“Y/N, it’s alright that you’re feeling this way,” he cut you off before you had the chance to protest any further, your mouth hanging slightly agape as he casually retrieved the butter and soy sauce from the fridge, walking back over to the stovetop. “You aren’t broken, and you certainly aren’t alone in this. I want you to know that. You have me, Mary, hell, even Brian and the boys – we’re all here for you, and we all want you to know that we love you no matter what.”

“Fred, I-“ you faltered for a moment, overwhelmed by what he was saying. Tears were quickly threatening to spill over if you didn’t get a grip, and get it quick. “I don’t doubt that, thank you. But I’d just want to be alone.”

“I understand that,” he replied, looking up at you and smiling softly before pouring the rice into the boiling water and turning it down to simmer, putting a lid on it after stirring it. “But do you need to be alone, or do you need to talk about it?” You didn’t have an answer for that, and stared blankly at him as he came to rest on the counter next to you. “Because I’ll listen, darling, believe me. I wouldn’t ever get tired of your voice.”

That brought a small laugh bubbling up to your lips, and you smiled sadly as you rested your head on his shoulder, letting the tears just roll down your cheeks. “You’re a ham,” you scolded softly, and Freddie chuckled quietly at that, his smile broad as he went to rest his head on yours.

“That’s sort of my specialty, if you haven’t noticed,” he teased, getting another soft giggle out of you. “How do you feel about some dinner, and then we’ll clean this place until it’s spotless? That sound good? You don’t have to talk if you don’t want to, but I want to help you however I can tonight.”

You nodded, sniffling a bit and raising your head when Freddie went to turn off the rice. You grabbed two bowls out of the cupboard as he grabbed spoons, and he mixed the two ingredients in before filling two bowls with rice and carrying them to your table, which was the cleanest part of the flat. It took a minute, but once you started eating, it felt renewing, like you were recharging after a full week spent on a low battery. And so you started talking, and Freddie started listening. He never interrupted, not once. It was your time to speak, and his time to hear you and your words. Only when you paused to allow his questions did he dare to utter a word.

“So have you been sleeping all week, or where have you been?” he asked, wondering if you’d left the flat.

“Here,” you sighed, playing with your spoon and sniffling a bit. “I’ve just been laying in bed mostly, some journal writing, reading here and there. I don’t remember the last time I tried to eat, though.”

“Any particular reason you decided to stay in?” he asked gently, trying to be hyper-aware of what questions would irk you.

“I’m just exhausted, and I keep getting overwhelmed by all of the work I have to do,” you said, leaning your head back as you stared at the ceiling, having finished your rice. “As soon as I finish one project, it feels like I’m right on to the next and there’s no room to breathe. I have no clue how I’m going to catch up from being gone this whole week, and it stresses me out.”

“Well, how about we take tomorrow night off and get through all of last week’s work together? My place, we can order delivery and just spend the whole night knocking it out,” Freddie offered, picking up both of your bowls and taking them to the sink.

“Oh, you don’t have to deal with me two nights in a row,” you quickly countered, but Freddie shook his head and started washing the dishes.

“It’s not dealing with you, you ninny. I want you to come over.” You smiled as he said that, hugging yourself and suddenly feeling a wave of guilt for assuming he was pitying you. Freddie was your best friend, after all, and it was horrible of you to think that he didn’t truly care about you. Here he was, washing your dishes, about to help you clean up after a rough patch, letting you vent. You had a lot to be thankful for, and you wanted to let him know that.

“Fred, you’re seriously the best,” you said, standing up and walking over to him as he put the bowls back up in the cupboard after drying them. He pulled you into an affectionate hug, letting you bury your face in his chest, and you both just stood there. It was nice, just having him there for you, knowing that he was present.

“You’re the best,” he corrected, smiling as he rested his chin on your head and rubbed your back slowly. “You’re so strong for doing this and not kicking me out. I’m proud of you, Y/N, really. It’s a lot to deal with, and you’re being so brave.”

Tears welled in your eyes again as he spoke, and you cleared your throat as you wrapped your arms around him tighter. “I’ll never be able to thank you enough.”

“Oh, darling, you don’t need to thank me,” he replied, humming a soft melody as he started to sway back and forth with you. “Just let me help you, and that would be enough for me.”

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icetheticcc · 5 years

Text

TRAHISON

Morning. Twin bedroom. There's a two king size bed in a big room and a two study table, one was filled with books and paper while the other one was filled with a limited edition of a dragon ball collection. In the corner of the room, the big door slowly opened and a high pitch voice was heard. Charlotte was dancing while entering the room. She and her nanny has prepared a breakfast in bed for his boys.

CHARLOTTE (In a happy tone) It's time for breakfast! ZEID and QUINCY (With a sleepy voice) Good morning mommy! CHARLOTTE (Sat on Zeid's bed and rubs his hair) Oh good morning! Hello there Zeid, have you finished your homework? ZEID Yes mommy, I've finished it all last night. CHARLOTTE (In a serious tone) And how about you Quincy? I bet you just played your dragon balls all night long! How many times do I need to tell you that you must study hard? QUINCY Mommy it's okay, I am smart enough. I can finish it in my school later. CHARLOTTE You're such a stubborn kid, why can't you be like your brother? (Quincy rolled his eyes and finished his food.) CHARLOTTE Oh! Daddy's here. He just texted me, come on boys let's go downstairs. (They all hurriedly go downstairs to welcome their father who went overseas)

ZEID and QUINCY PAPA! KENDRICK (Hugged his boys and kiss them) I have gifts for you, those five paper bags are for you Zeid and this paper bag goes to you Quincy. (He then distributed the paper bags.) ZEID (Softly) Thanks papa! I just won the essay writing competition and I was crowned valedictorian of our batch KENDRICK Wow! Congratulations for winning the essay writing and for being our valedictorian! You deserve it all and for you Quincy, I've heard that your grades has been dropping low. With that case you won't be entering the top 3. QUINCY (Sadly) I know papa, I'll do well next time I promise. KENDRICK (Angry) Go upstairs and read until your eyes drop! ZEID (Calmly asked his father) How about me papa? Can I go shopping later?

KENDRICK (Softly) Yes baby ofcourse, you can do whatever you want. (Quincy felt sad and feels insecure.) QUINCY (Started crying while going upstairs) I wish I could be Zeid even just for one day.

Hospital room. Kendrick was surrounded by many machines, machines that was keeping him alive. Drops of dextrose was audible in the silence of the room until Zeid approaches his dad, Kendrick. ZEID (Worrying) Are you okay dad? You should always take care of yourself. KENDRICK (Abruptly answered) To be honest my son, you are my favourite son of the bunch. You were always striving and exceeding my expectations. You know I'm flimsy and old and tired. Zeid, I want you to be the next successor of my company. I can see potential in you, even surpassing what I did for the company.

ZEID (Shocked but happy) Dad, I'll take care of everything that you've earned for the company. I won't disappoint you dad, I promise. (Zeid answered with dishonesty) Kendrick was happy to hear those words from his favorite son but he doesn't know what is yet to come (The door creeks as the lawyer enters the room holding bunch of paperworks) LAWYER Sorry I'm late Mr. Monterio. We will now begin the signing of paperworks for the new CEO of the company, Mr. Zeid Monterio. (People in the room applaud as the lawyer announced) CHARLOTTE (Charlotte, proudly said) Congratulations my son, I'm sure you will be a great CEO for the company. (Quincy and Tatiana entered the room) (Charlotte conversated to the two) CHARLOTTE (Excitedly) Quincy and Tatiana good timing, Zeid will be now the new CEO of the company. Let's celebrate. QUINCY (Quincy furiously answered) What? Why him? I mean you can split it but why only him? I feel so violated. KENDRICK (Kendrick answered back) Don't worry, I'm sure your brother will do his best to not disappoint, Zeid is your brother come on, I'm sure he also needs your support. Don't be such a party popper. (Quincy and Tatiana walked out with tears in their eyes feeling the unfairness of the decision)

(A day have passed, Quincy visits her father for business matters.) QUINCY Dad, why Zeid? I'm also doing my best here. It feels like you can't see my worth and hardwork. It is always Zeid in your eyes. I wanna make you proud dad. I always strive my best to do well, but somehow, it seems like you don't even appreciate it. (Kendrick replied) KENDRICK It's not like that my son, it’s just like I see so much more potential in Zeid than you. I mean he's just more aware of his responsibilities than you do.

QUINCY But dad! Is it because I go to clubs? Partying all the time? Dad, even though I party all the time you know I can do better. I did well in my college dad. KENDRICK Sorry Quincy, but you're just not enough for the company. Zeid has the checks that I need. Why can't you just support your brother?! Isn't that what a brother needs to do for his twin brother? You need to appreciate Zeid. I'm your dad and I know my decisions. (Tatiana entered) TATIANA Brother, that's enough! You know dad is sick right? Let's just talk about business matters next time. Dad, don't get too stressed, you're sick, you should relax. You'll kill yourself if you get stressed. QUINCY Tati- TATIANA Let's just go Quincy, don't get too stubborn. Dad, see you next time.

(Quincy and Tatiana went to a club getting sobber and crying.)

QUINCY Hey Tatiana, what's with Zeid that I don't have? (Tatiana ordered and answered Quincy.)

TATIANA You know, you have it all. I don't understand dad either. QUINCY Ah whatever, I'll just get myself drunk until I can't walk anymore (Tatiana laughed) TATIANA Stop joking, we all know that you're a God when it comes to drinking. I'll just go to the restroom. (Quincy nod as he drink her beer) (As Tatiana was walking through the restroom, someone stopped her) GUY Hey you single? (Tatiana was shocked and looked the guy with bored eyes) TATIANA Single but not ready to mingle, get out of my face. GUY Oh stop playing hard to get, I know that you want me. (The guy was slowly approaching Tatiana to touch her when Quincy suddenly shows up and punched the guy.) QUINCY Don't you dare lay a finger on my sister! TATIANA Nanny! Can you get me the first aid please? (Tatiana shouted)

ZEID (Confused) Why? What happened here? TATIANA Quincy got into trouble ZEID (Angry) Don't you care for our image?! For sure this issue will be on television first thing in the morning. I'm sure dad will be very disappointed. Quincy stood up and answered his brother. QUINCY Yes I get it! I was the one who was always dragging our family's name into trouble. I was the one who's ruining the company's image. I am the black sheep of this family. I always was. (Quincy walked away) TATIANA (Disappointed) I hope before you open your mouth make sure you know all the reason why our brother got into fight. I am very disappointed to you brother. (Tatiana walks away)

(5 months later) Zeid, Quincy and Tatiana still don't talk to each other it seems that they have their own life. Quincy let Zeid and their father with their choice and Titiana mind her own business. But good days came for Quincy, he realized that even if he is not that good like his brother right now. He can be better especially in the future. He's thinking that maybe if he put his shit together. He will get what he wants. QUINCY (Woke up early and wears his suit and tie) Today is a good day (He went to the office earlier than Zeid) ZEID (Surprised and scared at the same time) Why are you here Quincy? QUINCY (Answered with very confident voice) Am I not allowed here? Our father told me that I can help you anytime. Why are you so scared? ZEID No I'm just not used to it. QUINCY (Stared at Zeid for a long time) Well anything can change in this world Zeid. Don't be surprised if one day I'll have everything you have People are spreading fake news about Quincy being the next CEO ZEID Are you the one who started the rumor?! Are you telling the workers that you will be the new owner of this company?! That's all you got QUINCY Do you really think I'm that kind of person?! They are the ones who made stories about me owning this company. Why are you so mad?! ZEID Stop with nonsense Quincy! You won't be the owner of this company and you will the never be! (Walk out) When Zeid left, Quincy smiled. It looks like Quincy's plans are working.

Quincy feels something strange happening. The workers are panicking. The guards are moving so fast and confused. QUINCY (Shouting with panicking voice) Can someone tell me what's happening?! What happened?!

WORKER Sir, 10 of our machine exploded maybe because they are old already! Some of the employees are badly injured! (Feeling bad and scared at the same time) Call the ambulance now! Quincy called Zeid for multiple times but he didn't answer. Quincy thinks that maybe it is the right time to prove everyone that he is responsible now. But still he is wondering where is Zeid. So he called him for the last time. And he answered. QUINCY (At the hospital) Where are you Zeid? Something happened in here and you’re not around! ZEID What happened? Tell me what happened! QUINCY (Loud voice) The machines exploded because they don't get checked and they are too old. We are at the hospital right now. Their families are asking for us to pay for everything everyone was badly injured. We need you here right now!!

Zeid panicked of what he heard. The company doesn't have enough savings anymore because he was in big debt. But he need to go there. When he got there, the families are really mad, he got scared and called his secretary and asked for help but when the secretary don’t know what to do. He got disappointed. He hit the tree besides him multiple times and doesn't know that Quincy followed him. He was standing at his back the whole time. So he heard everything. QUINCY (Confused with what he heard) Is there something wrong with the money of the company? ZEID Nothing And there he went to the company and took the chance to find some clues and there he saw it, a letter from a casino that consist of 2.5 milliton debt.

After what Quincy saw. He didn't stop looking for clues. He asked the secretary for the bank account. At first the secretary doesn't want to give any information but when Quincy beg for her kindness she gave it right away. Quincy saw that the bank account of the company is really out of money. Zeid can't provide the hospital bills of his employees. QUINCY (Called the secretary of Zeid and asked her to call every manager to have a meeting) I want you to call every manager in our company, we’ll have a meeting and make sure Zeid won’t know this. SECRETARY (Answered like she doesn't have a choice) Yes I will if it's really that important sir. Now it is the day of meeting. Quincy is really confident with what his doing. Because he knows that he is telling truth this time.

QUINCY (Talking with confidence) You all deserve to know the truth, the company is in debt right now. We don't have enough money to pay the hospital bills. But why? Simply because I saw this yesterday. (Threw the letter of the casino in the table. Zeid is using the money of the company for his own happiness this is also the main reason why he can't provide the company new machine. I want them to know everything.

The people in the office are surprised, disappointed and ofcourse concerned with their co employee in the hospitals. Since Zeid can't provide their needs. The families of their workers are so mad that everyone wants to file a case against him. His issues are stated in the news, police are looking for him for not paying his debt and for not providing the needs of his employees in the hospital bills. After 2 days the police found him and he got caught.

Quincy and Tatian plan to destroy the name of their older brother. QUINCY We need to fix our plan. We have to destroy Zeid! (Angry tone) TATIANA I will call the employees so that they know your plan to kill Zeid!! Quincy and Tatiana go to their brother Zeid so that they can confront him. ZEID What are you doing here in my office?

QUINCY AND TATIANA Your office? (Both are laughing) You're so funny!! They, along with the shareholder of their company ZEID Why are you with the shareholder of the company? (Shocked and angry) Why are you with my siblings? SHAREHOLDER Your time has come, leave the company.

Finally, Quincy and Tatiana got what they want, but as day passed by they’ve realized that they can’t handle the company the way Zeid handled it. He may be corrupt but he got all the skills that Quincy and Tatiana don’t have. In the end, they’ve regretted everything they’ve done with their brother.

#CreativeWriting

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tasteofswallowedwords · 7 years

Text

The Perfect Shot

Part Six

Pairing: Jughead x reader

Warnings: angst, violence, swearing, blood

Summary: remember when I said it gets worse? That still applies.

Part One

I stare through the calculus homework on my desk, like I’ve been doing for two hours now. Betty has called four times, leaving two messages that I don’t have the strength to listen to, and thirteen texts that start out polite and become progressively distraught. I had to turn my phone off to stop myself from calling her.

Jughead, however, has been radio silent. Not that he would talk to me much anyway, but I became accustomed to his constant snarky presence when he lived here. I wonder where he’s staying. Hopefully not at the school-

Tap tap.

I shoot up from my seat, the chair cartwheeling out from underneath me. The curtains are closed, but I know it came from the window. Slater must have followed me home. He wants to remind me that I’m not safe, that he’s always watching-

Tap tap tap.

I clench my jaw, fear subsiding to make room for the anger bubbling through my veins. I grab the camera tripod that’s leaning against the wall and grip it like a baseball bat. I will not let this asshole threaten me in my own house.

I rip the curtains back, revealing a mole speckled face, dark hair poking out from underneath a grey beanie. My shoulders drop, and I lower my weapon. I release a shaky breath, anger dissipating and becoming nerves once more, as Jughead opens the window from the outside.

He tumbles into the room, and I rush to the window, hanging out of it to glance frantically down the street. “Is there anyone outside? Were you followed?”

“What? No. Of course not. Why?”

I shake my head, closing the window and drawing the curtain. I make sure it’s shut tight before I turn to look at him. “You have to leave right now,” I say firmly, clenching my fists at my sides.

“(Y/N), we have to talk eventually-”

“No! No, we don’t. Just get out.”

“Keep it down,” he urges. “Your parents-”

“They aren’t here.”

“What?” he laughs. “I could’ve used the front door? You’re telling me I risked my life climbing that tree for nothing?”

“You’re welcome to climb back down it and go away.”

He sags, and I stare at my hands to avoid meeting his sad gaze. “What happened to you?” he asks quietly, reaching a hand up towards my bandaged head. I swat it away.

“I fell on a rock. That’s what happened.”

I’ve told the lie so many times I’m starting to believe it myself, though Jughead is clearly quite tired of it.

“Yeah,” he snaps. “You must’ve hit it pretty fucking hard. Slater? Really?”

I roll my eyes. “What about him?”

“You’re dating him is what.”

I laugh, but there is no joy behind it. “Is that what you think?”

“What else am I supposed to think?” he says through gritted teeth. “He followed you around all day.”

“He’s not the only one,” I retort, eyebrow raised as I fold my arms across my chest.

“You let him kiss you,” he says, not bothering to hide his disgust.

For some reason, that’s what breaks me. My lower lip trembles, throat tightening and eyes watering. “You think I wanted that?” I croak.

His face softens, eyes darting as he tries to piece together what happened. “Did he… did he do that to you?” he asks softly, gesturing to my head.

I shake my head, squeezing my eyes shut to capture the tears.

“(Y/N), tell me what happened,” he says, placing his hands on my shoulders.

“I can’t.”

“You can.”

“No, I can’t!” I yell at him, sobbing. “Just leave, okay?” I push him towards the door, dragging my sleeve across my face as the tears finally escape. “Go. And don’t come back here. We’re not friends – we never were. And you don’t have to pretend anymore. I’m not helping with the Blue and Gold, so you don’t have to look at me, or talk to me, or pretend that you like me. Not that you ever did a good job of that in the first place. You got what you wanted – you don’t have to put up with me anymore. Alright? So just leave, and go back to blatantly hating me.”

I give him a final half-hearted shove towards the door and cover my face in my hands, sobbing quietly behind them. The room is silent apart from my sniffling. Just when I think Jughead has finally gone, his hands are on my arms, thumbs tracing small curved paths across the fabric of my sweater. I peer out from behind my hands, finding him standing inches from me. His eyebrows are tipped downwards, worry setting his lips in a thin line.

He cups my face in his hands, using his thumbs to stroke away the tears that I’ve missed. I gaze up at him. His eyes are roaming all over my face and if I didn’t know any better, I’d think he was thinking about kissing me. His tongue flicks across his bottom lip, and I try not to stare for too long, but when I glance up again, he’s staring at my lips, too. This is wrong. He has to leave.

He leans down slowly, eyes half closed. His nose brushes mine, and I stifle a gasp. He hesitates, waiting for permission, and now is my chance. I can end this. It will hurt him – if I tell him to never come back – but at least it will keep him safe.

But instead, I lean into him. I kiss him softly, raising my hands to his chest to steady myself. He relaxes, hands sliding down to my neck as he returns the kiss. The warmth of his lips ignites my chest and my heart swells, tugging me towards him. I should pull away from him. I should be hating this moment, but I can’t because he tastes like coffee and vanilla and his hands are in my hair and he’s breathing me in like he can’t get enough and I’m pulling him closer because I can’t either.

He pulls away, his forehead still pressed against mine. “I never hated you,” he mumbles against my lips. “And the last thing I want is to lose you. I want to help you, (Y/N). More than anything. And I can’t do that unless you tell me what happened last night.”

I break away from him reluctantly. “I told you,” I say sadly.

“No, (Y/N),” he says, taking my hand, “you lied to me.”

“It’s more complicated than you think,” I whisper, tears brimming again.

“I can handle it. I’m a smart guy.”

I lower my gaze, wringing my hands together as he stares at me intently. I’ve only kept this secret for a day, but it’s burying me. The words are soil, each lie I’ve told since yesterday another shovelful dumped onto my chest, and they get heavier with each passing second. So I tell him everything, because I need someone to share the weight.

“(Y/N), I’m so sorry,” he whispers when I’m finished, pulling me into his arms. “I never should’ve left you.”

“No,” I insist. “I told you and Betty to go. This is not your fault.”

“How did they find you?” he asks, stroking my hair.

“There was nowhere to hide.”

He pulls away, frowning. “But you said…”

“I lied.”

“To protect us,” he concludes. “Just like you kept Slater away from us, so we’d be safe.” He pauses, contemplating his next words. “We have to go to the sheriff.”

I break away from him completely. “No. We are not doing that.”

“They’ll get arrested, (Y/N). We’ll be safe.”

“They’ll never get them all,” I say shakily. “There must have been a dozen guys there – I could never identify every one of them. Besides, they’d vouch for each other. I have no proof-”

“Well, did you catch any names?” he says desperately.

“Other than Slater?” I fret. “The guy who hit me was called Jack… and there was another guy… FP?”

His expression darkens, jaw clenched and he looks away from me.

“Jug? What’s wrong? Do you know him?”

“FP,” he spits, “is my dad.”

My mouth falls open, Jughead’s homelessness suddenly making a lot of sense.

“Did- did he hurt you?” he asks, voice breaking.

“What?” I gasp. “No. No, Jughead, your dad is the reason I’m alive.”

His face floods with relief. “Really?”

“Really,” I smile. “He convinced Jack not to kill me. And I’d never give his name to the sheriff, you don’t have to worry about that.”

“That’s not what I was worried about,” he says sadly, thumb brushing my jaw. “I’ll tell Betty everything, and we’ll go to the sheriff with you. We can put an end to it.”

“I don’t think-”

“Trust me,” he urges. “You let me stay with you, you hid me from your parents, and last night you risked your own life for me. Let me take care of you.”

I smile, fiddling with a button on his denim jacket. “Okay.”

“Tell me something good came out of it. Did you get any pictures for your portfolio?”

I clench my jaw and bite back my sadness. I can’t find the strength to tell him, so I just hand him my backpack, where the camera rests in pieces.

“Oh my God,” he whispers, peering into the bag. “(Y/N), I’m so sorry.”

“It doesn’t matter,” I shrug, though I can’t hide the quiver in my voice.

“It does matter. If someone broke my laptop… I can’t imagine…”

I take the bag from him. “Forget about it.”

“What are you going to do?”

“What can I do?” I say, louder than intended. “Buy a new camera with the money that I don’t have? Or submit a portfolio that’s not even half-finished?”

“Would your parents lend you the money?”

I laugh joylessly. “Are you kidding? They’ve been praying for the day that camera would bite the dust since I got it. I might as well just give up now.”

“Don’t you dare say that,” he says, planting both hands on my shoulders, forcing me to look at him. “You’ve worked way too hard to give up now. I won’t let you.” He slides his hands down my arms, taking my hands in his and tracing patterns across my skin with his thumbs. “Everything will be okay. For now, though, get some rest.” He leads me towards the bed, lifting the covers for me.

“Will you stay?” I ask quietly.

He smiles at me, eyes wrinkling at the edges. “Of course.” He climbs into bed before me, then wraps his arm around my waist, pulling me flush against him. “Besides,” he continues, “I don’t really have anywhere else to go.”

His chuckle vibrates through his chest against my back, and I can’t help but smile. Sleep comes easily. The last thing I remember is Jughead’s lips brushing against the skin behind my ear, his breath tickling the back of my neck, sending shivers down my spine.

“I’m not so sure about this, Jug,” I mutter, glancing past Betty, through the rear window of his car.

“It’s going to be fine,” he assures me. “They have no idea we’re going to the sheriff. And I’m sure if you tell the cops that the Serpents threatened you, they’ll assign some protective detail for you.”

That does nothing to quash my unease as I stare out into the black night, trees rushing past as we speed towards the police station.

“Did you see Slater today, (Y/N)?” Betty asks, leaning forward in her seat.

“No,” I admit. “I don’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing.”

“Maybe he was just supposed to scare you for one day,” she offers hopefully.

“Maybe,” I reply, unconvinced.

Jughead places his hand on my knee and squeezes it comfortingly. I glance at him, and he’s smiling sadly, eyes on the road. I reach down and take his hand, and he looks over at me, brushing his thumb across my knuckles.

“Jughead look out!” Betty screeches from the back seat.

I look out to the road ahead and there’s a pair of headlights careening purposefully towards us. There’s no avoiding them – the road to our left leads straight into a ditch. Jughead slams on the breaks. I’m thrown forward, seatbelt burning across my neck, knocking the air from my lungs. The other car plummets straight for us, picking up speed. Metal screams against metal. The impact hurls me against the passenger door, my seatbelt cutting into me as it strains to hold me in my seat. The car rolls. For a horrible moment I’m suspended upside-down as shattered glass rains down on my face, then the car completes its revolution, slamming me back into my seat.

My door opens, hands unbuckle my seatbelt and drag me from the car. My heart sinks as I focus enough to look at my rescuers, and see their attire. Leather, bandanas and neck tattoos. The Serpents have stopped us from going to the sheriff after all.

“What did I tell you, (Y/N)?” Jack’s voice calls from beside the car, as three goons dump me on the other side of the road. Two of them return to the car to pull Betty out, the other standing guard at my side, though I’m too disoriented to run or fight; I can barely sit up. “One thing. I asked one thing of you. Did you think I wouldn’t find out? Don’t you know that there’s snakes in the grass all around you?”

“Please,” I say feebly. “Please don’t hurt them. It’s my fault.”

“I know it’s your fault,” he grins maliciously. “And they know it too. It’ll be their last thought before they die.”

The men pull Betty from the backseat. She thrashes against them, but she’s dazed, her head split open not unlike mine was last night. Jughead is slumped, unconscious, hanging out the broken driver’s side window.

They push Betty to the ground so that she’s kneeling.

“No,” I whisper. He won’t kill her. He can’t. It’s one thing to go to prison for kidnapping, it’s another to be put away for murder. He wouldn’t.

Jack produces a gun, and my heart clenches. He flicks the safety off and holds the gun to Betty’s forehead. She’s sobbing, and I can’t breathe.

“You have (Y/N) to thank for this,” he sneers. “She might as well be pulling the trigger.”

Betty’s face contorts in anguish, and she struggles against the grip of the thugs.

“No!” I scream, but he’s laughing, ignoring me.

Think, (Y/N). Do something.

I glance to the guy standing next to me. He’s not even looking at me. He shifts slightly and his jacket rides up, briefly displaying a gun tucked into the waistband of his jeans. I lunge for it, grip it tight and point it at Jack. He’s about to shoot her. I can’t wait any longer. With both hands around the gun, I line up the shot as the Serpent beside me dives for it. I square my shoulders and squeeze the trigger-

Click.

I stare at the gun in confusion, pulling the trigger again.

Click.

“No,” I say, but all I can hear is my heart beating in my ears, as the Serpent tackles me to the ground. The shot rings out and echoes across the street, bouncing from tree to tree and reverberating through the cavern in my chest. “No!” I scream. I fight against the biker, trying to kick him off me, sobs racking my body. My elbow finally lands a blow to his nose. I wriggle out of his grasp and glance at the scene before me.

Jack is on the ground, bleeding. Betty leans against Jughead’s ruined car, face in her hands as her shoulders quake.

A man climbs out of the ditch beside the road. “Jughead!” he yells, the name ripping from his throat in a pained sob. He drops his gun in the grass and runs to the car, holding his son’s face in his hands.

I go to Betty as fast as my legs will carry me. The remaining Serpents scatter, leaving Jack in a crumpled mess on the road. I wrap my arms around Betty, tears flooding from my own eyes.

“I’m so sorry, Betty,” I rasp, over and over and over.

FP lifts Jughead from the car, laying him gently on the ground. “Oh God,” he whimpers. “Jug, you gotta wake up.”

I hand Betty my phone so she can call 911. She’s in a better state than I am to talk to the operator. I crawl from her side to Jughead’s as he lies on the tarmac, and the world tilts.

Jughead’s shirt is stained with blood. Rubble from the wreckage protrudes from his abdomen. I feel cold and heavy, my vision darkening. I’m losing my balance. Wind whirrs past my ears and through my head and I’m about to pass out.

“Wake up for me, buddy, wake up,” FP sobs.

Jack lies alone on the road, bleeding out. The sight of his body, contorted unnaturally on the ground, focuses me.

“FP, you have to go,” I say shakily.

“I’m not leaving him,” he says, tear-stained jaw clenched.

“You have to,” I shout. “You shot Jack. You can’t be here when the cops get here; they’ll arrest you. You have to go. I won’t be the reason he loses you.”

He looks at me, knowing I’m right but unwilling to leave.

“I’ll take care of him,” I promise. A tear cascades down my cheek and falls onto Jughead’s t-shirt.

FP inhales deeply, nodding, because he can’t find a word meaningful enough for the moment. He gets up quickly and runs towards the cover of the trees.

Betty joins me at Jughead’s side. She talks to him, encouraging him to wake up, while I keep track of his weakening pulse and weep. His features are soft, mouth slightly agape. I did this to him. I never should have told him anything.

“Don’t you dare give up now,” I croak through my tears as the ambulances arrive, bathing Jughead’s crumpled form in blue light.

Part Seven

tags: @jvghead-jones-iii, @tommys-girl1980, @notsarasblog, @jones-choc-milkshake, @murderyoursoul, @thecursedfangirl, @sunshine51879, @eliza-hamilton-helpless, @betty-coopers-number-one-stan, @wearelondonbound, @aezthetically, @teenwoxlfies, @juggiejunkie, @siaralovesgaming, @nan-the-lemon, @onceuponagladerhead, @littlefrenchbird, @dontstopxx, @cucharadebager, @imperfectanatomy, @kaylinfayezink, @legacy-what-is-a-legacy, @fandomtrashhhhh, @spooky-brendons-butt:

A/N: I’m new to tagging people so I think the people in italics only want to be tagged in the parts to this fic? idk though let me know and also I’m sorry if I left anyone out I don’t think I did <3

#jughead x reader #riverdale x reader #riverdale imagine #jughead imagine #jughead #riverdale #jughead jones

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ecotone99 · 5 years

Text

I bought my daughter an iDog... and I think it's hunting me

My name is Guy Mullen, I’m a robotic science professor working at the Boston Institute of Technology in Massachusetts. I was once a proud father of a six year old girl named Hope, who, sadly, was diagnosed with terminal cancer. Despite fighting like the total champion she was, Hope died not too long after her 6th birthday. Before she died, she asked me to buy her a weird little toy that was currently popular on the market called an I-Dog, a simplistic robotic toy dog that did tricks. My daughter was 6 years old, so it intrigued me that she wanted a tech-toy rather than the usual doll or teddy bear girls of her age would want.

At the time, I thought nothing of it, because me, a professor of robotics, thought it was like a chip off the old block kind of thing. It made me proud. I went into the store today and happened to pass the toy department. I noticed that the same toy dogs were still on the market and selling like hotcakes, so I bought one. The stores around my area for some reason sell old toys. Guess people still like the classics.

And if you’re wondering why I got her this toy now rather than she was alive, let me explain. My daughter, being 6 years old, I didn’t want her to follow along in my footsteps. I wanted her to have a normal childhood. Like I said, teddy bears and dolls. As I got home, I opened it up and started holding the toy in my hands. It was just a cheap toy. But I guess the guilt of not getting it for her while she was alive was eating at me too much. I had no idea why my daughter would be so interested in this toy. I wish I knew then what I was in for, I never would have bought this toy. But as a father, you always want to get your child what he or she wants. It’s one of the joys of being a parent. It’s one of the joys I wish now was never part of being a good parent.

Today is the 8th anniversary of Hope’s passing. I’m going to the cemetery to visit her grave, like I do every year on the anniversary of her passing. But instead of the usual flowers I bring, I’m going to bring this toy dog, to show her that I never forgot. The I-Dog I got for her at the store supposedly played various songs from an mp3 player. Which was a good thing, because she had an extended list for a girl of her age. I would often let her use my mp3 player to play all her favorites. I’m glad, because I still had my mp3 player with all her favorite songs on it. It brought back memories of her and I singing together to her favorite songs on the car radio. Each new one she heard in the car, I would put it in my mp3 player and let her listen to them while she did what little homework she had in the 1st grade. Such a smart little girl. She should have gotten her chance to finish school. It would have been nice to see what her life would have turned out to be.

I took the small toy, the batteries, and the mp3 player from my handbag. I unscrewed its belly, set the batteries inside, then it made that robotic barking that it would make. I set the mp3 player by it, and it played the last song we ever listened to, “What is Love” By Haddaway, while doing that silly robotic dance it does. I watched as it danced a while longer, then left for home to drown my sorrows in tears and liquor. She deserved better. She deserved to be alive.

The next morning, I woke up with such a hangover, I made myself a cup of black coffee so strong that the spoon had a caffeine rush, in hope to kill the now massive headache I had. I remember leaving the music channel on tv. It just made the headache worse, so I shut it off. Minutes later, I nearly choked on my coffee after hearing an oh too familiar song. Her song. It was coming from outside my front door, but seemed to stop once I took notice of it. “What on earth?” I asked myself. I opened the door and looked outside. I didn’t see much, other than the usual. Houses, cars, birds, sunlight, even the local paper boy delivering newspaper. I noticed he stopped at my house when I stepped on the paper. I might as well pick it up. See what’s new in Boston. I picked it up, then turned around, then turned a pale white even whiter than snow. In the doorway of my house sat that toy. That music playing childs toy. The very same blue one with the fake purple jewels around it’s head, the one that I had bought not even a day before left at Hope’s grave.

“What in the hell…?” I looked around to see who would play such a cruel joke, then quickly picked up the toy, went inside the house and got dressed, and immediately went back to the cemetery. When I got there, the toy I had left there was gone. Engulfed with rage, I asked myself why someone would do something like this and proceeded to call the police. The police arrived and asked the usual, “do you have any enemies?” or, “why would anyone want to do this to you?” questions. I had no answer, for I had no enemies. All my friends knew Hope, and loved her as much as I did. It was a mystery.

By the time I got back home, my brain was tired from trying to figure out who would do this to me. Did someone see me do this? Did they watch me put this on my daughters grave? Did a bunch of teenage hoodlums desecrate my daughters grave, and add insult to injury by bringing this toy back to my doorstep? I couldn’t make sense of that though, because no one was around me when I was in the cemetery. And if they were, they were damn good at hiding. Exhausted and furious from the day’s events, I decided to give it no more thought and go to sleep. Or so that was my intention.

In the middle of the night, I was awoken by the sound of music. Not loud music, but loud enough to wake me out of my sleep. I looked at the clock. 3:30 AM. The music that I

heard sounded muffled, yet close. I pulled my blankets off to get out of bed, and as I did the music got louder. It was then that I noticed the toy was next to me, under my sheets. Which was impossible, considering the police had taken it as evidence. Not only that, but the toy had my mp3 player connected to it. Which was playing her 2nd favorite song, called Butterfly Kisses by Bob Carlisle.

Now I’m afraid, because the only person who knew that was her second favorite song was me. It was our song. We sang it only to each other. Not even her mother knew. How is this possible? I immediately called the police to ask how something they took from me as evidence is now in my bed. I also asked if I was being investigated for something, considering how the only way anybody could have known that was our song was if they bugged our house. Immediately I was hit with ridiculous notions of some kind of technology war scenario were maybe a disturbed colleague might be playing some kind of deranged joke. All these questions and not a single answer. What the hell is going on here?

Confused and disoriented, I grabbed the toy, disconnected the mp3 player, and proceeded to take the toy out to the trash. The special meaning that it once held, now desecrated by someone’s twisted mind. I have to get some rest. The morning will be here quickly and I have to work in the morning.

That morning had an eerie chill about it. I couldn’t place it, but I attributed it to my recent episodes of neurotic paranoia. I got to work. The environment felt suspicious. Like I was being watched. I said nothing to no one, and made a straight line for my office. I opened my office door, walked in, shut the door quickly, and took a deep breath of relief. I had made it to my office without being asked a single question, as I was in no mood to talk to anyone.

I went to set my briefcase on my desk, and to my horror, the toy was on my desk. Not only was it on my desk, but my mp3 player that I placed in my briefcase the night before was connected to it.

Surprisingly enough, and for reasons I don’t yet understand, my first thought was one of morbid curiosity. I was anxious to know what song was selected to play this time around, because at this point, I was starting to think maybe this isn’t someone trying to play a joke. But what if it’s her. What if it’s Hope in some miraculous way trying to visit me. to let me know she hasn’t forgotten me either. But I’m a man of science. And in my world, things like this don’t happen. I’ve always been a skeptic, and found myself judging those who’ve claimed to have these experiences as kooks.

Is that what’s going on here? Is this a punishment? Am I going crazy as punishment for judging those people? Was I having a midlife crisis?

After work, I rushed home, locked myself in my home office, and found myself doing something I thought I, never in a million years, would find myself doing. I started talking to the dog. Reluctantly, I asked, “Hope, are you there? It’s Daddy, sweetheart. Are you trying to show me something?” Then for a moment, I snapped back to reality, laughed at myself, and asked myself, “What the hell am I doing?” At this point, I started to question my sanity and wondered if I should check myself into a mental hospital for evaluation. That was the only logical explanation left. I was losing my mind, and no one could see it but me. On top of everything else that ever happened to me, me going crazy was the icing on the cake.

I really didn't want to, but I was sure that this was the only way I can get some closure. I'm going to check myself into a mental hospital to ensure that this isn't making me crazy before anything gets worse. But first, this toy. This god damn toy. It has to go. I'm gonna make sure of that. I picked up a hammer, and smashed the thing into bits. I put the pieces into a plastic bag, and watched the garbage men take it away the next morning.

A week later, I checked into the mental hospital. I’m much better now. I was just having a mental breakdown and needed a vacation. It’s finally over. No more stress, no more heartbreak, no more I-Dog. Because the nurses were so nice, they all pitched in and bought me a plane ticket to Florida to relax. I just checked into my hotel room. And as I set my luggage down, and getting ready to plop onto the bed and let out a huge sigh of relief, I noticed in the room, there was that thing. The I-Dog. And the song it chose was “Nowhere to run.” By Arnold Mcculler.

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