#seriously this was one of the best paragraph i've read recently

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

hi! I've been reading through your blog and you seem to give decent advice, so I figured I'd try my luck at something that's been annoying me recently.

So to start, I'm 17ftm (no testosterone), I have had many mental health struggles on the past 5 years and my parents don't really trust me or take me seriously. And I have never had sex with a penis haver so no possibility of pregnancy at any point.

Okay so my problem is that I never get consistent periods and almost always skip more than a month in between. They actually started pretty consistent when I was 13 but became extremely irregular after I gained a lot of unexpected weight (I was on a high dose of antipsycotics which I believe caused this). I skipped 6 months when I was 14. Since my parents don't take me seriously, they kind of softly assume I'm exaggerating or just not counting the days right ever time I bring it up and it made me so frustrated that last year I finally got a period tracker and committed to filling it out daily. I finally decided to go back and check how long it's been because I felt like it had been forever since I actually bled and uh. Guess what I was right 😬

Since the new year, I logged myself as "spotting" on February 7th and January 22. I marked myself down as "light bleeding" on the 18th. Every other day this year there has been no bleeding. Is this abnormal??? My mom keeps saying things like "I skip months all the time" but it's just really unsettling me I feel like something's wrong. I've also had period-like cramps a few times since the year began and at one point they got really bad, like a 7/10 but again I haven't bled even a little bit except those three days I just want to know I'm not being unreasonable.

I do plan to talk to my doctor, my dad set an appointment for next week (I didn't tell him what it was for & he didn't ask which was nice) but while my GP is usually pretty good I'm worried she'll dismiss me like my mom always does & I'm worried I'll phrase something wrong or not describe things correctly. (I have the kind of autism that gives me psychic damage when people don't understand me hence the multiple paragraphs to explain a fairly simple issue... Sorry about that btw)

Thanks for your time and I hope I wasn't too annoying🪻

hi anon,

irregular periods are pretty typical when you first begin menstruating, but the fact that they haven't leveled out by now could definitely be indicative of some kind of complication in your reproductive system that's definitely best to know about sooner rather than later. I'm sorry your parents have been dismissive of you, but if your GP is generally reasonable I'm sure she'll understand why you're concerned; missing your period for months at a time definitely falls into what's considered irregular and warrants further investigation, and it sounds like you've been documenting your experiences enough to back up that that's the case.

I hope everything goes well and you can find some answers <3

#sex edventures 2024

[doves-fandomstuff]

This is from my English book and honestly, this whole paragraph was amazing and I needed to post it on here! Whoever wrote this really understood what we have done to our World.

#seriously this was one of the best paragraph i've read recently #everything was on point #just wow #earth #paragraph #text #post

[theharlotofferelden]

So I was checking out Greg Ellis' IMDB page to see if he's been in anything recently. I mainly wanted to know if the whole blowup between him and Mark Darrah 3 years ago that resulted in him making a YouTube video speaking in Cullen's voice while beseeching the Dragon Age fandom to rise up against Cancel Culture affected his career in any way.

This was swiftly forgotten, however, due to the fact that I got really caught up in the wall of text that is his Mini Bio.

It's a lot, right? Usually when I see bios on IMDB they're less than a paragraph. But what got me was the inclusion of all these weird details. How Greg "mastered the Rubik's cube at 12" and that he's "skydived 10,000 feet above the earth" (so? ppl skydive, man, why is this important). But then there's this mention that he has over 20 action figures of characters he's portrayed in film and television. Like... seriously? This is really worth including in your IMDB Bio? Then right at the bottom it says the Bio was written by PR which lol

Anyway, I didn't post on tumblr dot com just to dunk on all the questionable details Greg PR decided to include in his IMDB.

What I wanna talk about is this lil detail here:

Now, I've read his IMDB bio a couple times over the years and have never really questioned whether Greg was truly nominated for an Emmy. Like, who tf would lie about being nominated for an Emmy? But then I started wondering what the Emmy was for (seeing as how he neglects to mention it in his bio) so I decided to do some digging into what he was nominated for.

Doing a general google search turned up nothing so I decided to try his website to see if he supplies more details, and he does.

Again, he neglects to mention what the nomination was for, but says that he was nominated for his role on 24. So naturally I did a search for 24 Emmy nominations.

It is at this point I become aware that the Emmys have not only dedicated pages for shows that have won Emmys, but also a search function.

Guess whose name isn't listed on 24's Emmy Award page?

Guess whose name doesn't reveal any results for even something as basic as an Emmy nomination?

Even under his legal name? Or the other version of his legal name?

Okay, so maybe they just neglected to add him on the 24 page. If Greg was nominated for anything, it would most likely be under "Outstanding Supporting Actor In A Drama Series" as he was a guest actor for 9 episodes of the show (as Michael Amador) between 2003 and 2004.

He's not listed in the nominees for 2003, 2004, or even 2005 (just to be generous). And since I bothered to look it up just to double check, here's a YouTube video for every year in this category: 2003, 2004, 2005.

-------

While all this may seem like a bit much just to emphasize that Greg is lying about an Emmy nomination, I need it to be understood that I did my best trying to verify its existence. On the off chance it turns out the nomination exists somewhere, let it be known I'll delete this post and apologize for misinforming people.

But I just gotta say, if it's not on the Emmy's website or even his own Wikipedia page, then where tf is it? Like, I get that Wikipedia isn't a totally reliable source, but Gregory Itzin, who actually was nominated twice on 24 as a supporting actor, has it not only mentioned on his wikipedia page, but also has one of his nominations sourced (if you click on the link it will download a PDF).

So until proof that he was ever nominated turns up, I'm going to assume he's lying about it. Which is funny when you consider he's not even lying about winning an Emmy, he's lying about being nominated for one. He's lying about losing an Emmy. Like, could you imagine if Tommy Tallarico lied about almost being on MTV Cribs?

Anyway please reblog this post and feel free to steal it because I find this extremely funny and would love it if someone asked Greg why the internet isn't turning up results for his Totally Real Emmy Nomination.

ETA - Adding a link to @aidanchaser pointing out that it seems like Greg is claiming he was nominated under the categories for "outstanding casting in a drama series" and/or "outstanding drama series" based on what he says about the nomination on his website, along with my reply as I was aware of those nominations but didn't make the connection between them and what he says on his website.

I'm only going to add here that his claim to this nomination is a huge stretch because, by similar logic, if 24 actually won either of those nominations, basically anyone who worked on 24 could claim that they're an Emmy award winning guest actor or production designer, which entirely misrepresents the award being given as it hollistically takes into account various parts of the casting and production. Like, there's a reason there's separate categories for this stuff, and the fact that he seems so comfortable making this claim on his IMDB that he's an "Emmy nominated actor" based on those nominations is such a wild stretch.

And it's clear to me this obfuscation was intentional because he could've easily said that he worked on the "Emmy award winning show, 24" because that's more accurate to the truth of his involvement with the production (i.e. that he worked on a show that won muliple awards). But specifically claiming he was "nominated" lends credence to the notion that he was nominated specifically for his work while still technically being true (despite that claim being bullshit).

#greg ellis #greg ellis critical #dragon age #pirates of the caribbean #<- tagging because i know there's peeps in both fandoms that hates his guts and figured y'all would want a laugh at his expense #apologies if this has been pointed out during the time this post has languished in my drafts #eta - added additional context #may add more later but for now i need to stop procrastinating and get shit done lmao

[1yyyyyy1]

If you don’t mind me asking, how old are you? I get the sense that you’re older based on your posts, but going by your most recent post, you seem to imply that you’re still a teenager. If that’s true, I am very impressed by how knowledgeable you are at such a young age.

How did you get so articulate? What did you read? Did you take classes in high school? Did you have a mentor? did you have a life-changing conversation with somebody? I would love to know more about your process of getting to where you are now.

Hey :) I'm kind of surprised that people choose to compliment me at all since I'm calling people names on here and such, I think I'm a nasty person overall... I'm in my early twenties currently, so I'm certainly not a teenager, but I'm still at an age where my opinions get dismissed and it has taken me significant effort to start taking my concerns seriously. In the post you are referring to, I was talking about people who equate polarizing opinions to those of an immature teenager, which hints at the fact that people grow out of their rebellious phase and expect others to become just as compliant with age… I don't consider my opinions (especially on pregnancy) to be rebellious in the first place, to me they are common sense and I'm genuinely disgusted by the fact that many adult women continue to perpetuate the same rhetoric that has harmed me as a teenager.

I've never received any higher education, and I barely ever attended high school, so if you find my writing skill compelling it can be the proof that all you need is yourself and a willingness to learn. I'm not sure if I what I have is innate talent because I did read a lot as a child, which probably explains my vocabulary, and I'm not exactly a prodigy since my early writing is still as primitive as it gets for someone who is just starting out. My writing process is not effortless either and I go through a lot of drafts or even variations of the same sentence until I'm satisfied with it. What I know to be innate to myself is my overall interest in reading and writing, it is something I spend a lot of time doing and my proficiency makes sense to me that way. I suppose, I'm still not at my fullest potential because I limit myself to mentally taxing topics... Much of the difficulty I encounter comes down to the fact that the things I talk about are extremely personal and often require more reflection from me than I'm ready for; this is the reason I'm yet to post some of the questions I promised to answer. When it comes to my writing skill, I would be lying if I said that public education did nothing for it because it did lay down the foundation, just that I draw my understanding from other subjects and cannot recommend a reading list because I was taught them in person. My approach to writing is based on my knowledge of cognitive reframing and I would have to write a book myself to explain how I apply it. Weirdly enough, I attribute my eloquence to fanfiction since it's what I used to read the most of, and some of it is genuinely high quality — for example, I think this story is very poetic, especially the last paragraph. The same can be said about fantasy games where I would pay attention to the flowery language in quest text and dialogue; my learning experience has been unconventional at best.

I thought it would be helpful if I recited what I do directly... My writing process is as follows:

Receive a question or get interested in an idea, draft the first thing that comes to mind. Write until I don't feel like it anymore. Usually this is no longer than one sentence.

Come back to the draft when I feel like it and let my imagination run its course while I look at the prompt. At this point, the draft is a mixture of coherent ideas and incoherent sentence stumps I then proceed to flesh out within the confines of the main topic. This is the stage where I figure out the structure and the general theme of whatever I'm writing. I narrow down the essence of what I'm being asked about, write until I figure out the closing paragraph, break down the draft into connected sub-topics and come up with a title for each paragraph as well as the entire piece. For this answer, I titled the first paragraph "Why I wrote what I did and my attitude towards it", the second & third paragraph "My education and writing process" and the fourth paragraph "My advice and why I haven't given up yet". I titled the answer as a whole "My age and my writing process" which is kind of odd, it probably means there's something I have to reflect on in regards to my age... While drawing up a plan like that is common writing advice I would give regardless, grounding myself with a simplified idea is even more important to me because I do not write sentences consecutively. The first draft of the previous sentence quite literally was "is important to me because I do not write sentences consecutively." with the dot, meaning that I knew it would be the last part of the sentence and that there was something I was supposed to trace it back to before I could finish it. This goes for the entirety of my writing process and I will often start a sentence from the middle, write different paragraphs one sentence at a time or even write an entire paragraph backwards. It can be hard to keep track of the structure when you write the way I do, so having a grounded idea I can always refer back to is the solution for me.

Continue to refine the draft along the guidelines I established until I'm satisfied with it — this doesn't mean that it's perfect even by my own standards, I often leave awkward wording as is because I know when to move on from a creative block. What matters to me is that it communicates the ideas of the sub-topics and fully conveys my point.

The most important thing I've learned ever since I committed to writing is that I am at my best when I write for myself. I would go as far as to say that I'm at my best when I write about myself, that way I absolve myself of the responsibility that accompanies external topics. I no longer burden myself with articles and statistics which may or may not be inaccurate, I talk about my own improvement and I know what it has been well enough to not be bothered by people disputing it. Even as I'm answering this question, my focus is on my personal enjoyment so that it remains the motivation I can look back at; I don't believe it to be remotely unfair, it is reliable. People move on and people get disinterested, my audience could leave due to personal circumstances and it would be no one's fault. By being my own standard of quality, I get to be consistent with my work and both me and the reader benefit that way. Other than that, my straightforward advice is to trust the process and to not be afraid to take risks with your writing. Stylistically, the list I made has to be limited to impersonal descriptions to be consistent, but I went on a personal tangent in the second point anyway — so what? Taking this liberty was what inspired me to finish the list at all, which I'm not going to complain about. I take a risk every time I choose not to dilute my complicated speech, like right now, because it does come off as pretentious, although no one has complained so far. Generally speaking, there are no real social risks to be taken with writing because intelligence is already hard to come by, the people who value it will appreciate the effort regardless and the people who don't could never be catered to in the first place. The only "risk" I can imagine anyone taking is the risk of being disappointed in one's abilities and the fear of never amounting to one's aspirations, but even that is temporary because creative skills always improve so long as you practice. I'm personally well past the point of doubt because people have seen me at my worst too many times by now, that ship has sailed for me... My aspirations rely on my ability to articulate myself, so I don't lack motivation when it comes to improvement. The enjoyment I get from completing a piece allows me to persevere through the many challenges the writing process entails.

#ask #forgot to mention that i use thesaurus ALL the time #it's really useful

[hanarchy]

Hi friends, I illegally logged into tumblr on my work computer on the first working day of 2023 specifically to make this post properly. I don't have a good computer and I simply could not do this on my phone.

Ok, Time to get emo :)

I discovered SKZ at the end of last year, I personally date my anniversary to somewhere between December 29th 2021 and January 2nd 2022. It's a good thing too because I get overemotional at the end of the year anyway and now I can just schedule all my gratitude and emo times at the same time.

I want to start from the beginning bc the only reason 2022 was a good year for me was this discovery. this is a bit of recap for me because I wanted to do it. If you're tagged in it it means that you played a part in my year and meant something to me. Feel free to only read your little paragraphs (or nothing at all, theres no obligation), this is bound to get unspeakably long.

first, I want to give a quick shout out to the people I started talking to/followed more recently @hyunpic (I haven's checked twitter today, did hyunjin kill you yet or did he get all of that out of the way in 2022?) @mybodyfails (did u ever listen to stromae?) @jisungsjaistandjeekies (how was the first day of your new job?) The best thing about getting another year on tumblr is the promise of getting to know you all more <3

@quokki you were literally the first person I ever followed for stray kids content. It was around february, when I looked for fanart for the first time and reactivated my twitter and I found your hannies. It took a little longer but I'm so glad we are friends now. I really love our chats/meltdowns abt hanji and you're incredibly talented and kind and also just correct abt a lot of stuff lmao

@alexenglish alex, I know we don't talk that much but you were the first person to really talk to me abt k-pop stuff and I will never forget that. I also cannot thank you enough for showing me rolling quartz and for reading the stupid thing that i wrote that one time. it seems trivial but i literally do not show anyone my writing ever and anytime I do and it's a good experience it makes me a little braver so thank you, seriously. and also thank you for sticking around even when I'm a dick

my first comeback in march was soso special because I had people to freak out with. I was in Ireland at the time and even hough I was brand new in online stayville I felt a lot less alone than I could've.

in april i started talking to @sailsflyseaward but I honestly can't believe it has only been 9 months. We've met 3! times since then and you're already one of my most precious online friends and I feel like I've known you way longer. I have to try very hard to stay cynical and not believe in fate and the universe being a good place when I think about how we could've just never met.

I was EXHAUSTED the first 4 months of this year, I hated most of it. I turned 30 in april, i had been to ireland and to the north sea on vacation in march and april but all of it felt hollow and exhausting and terrible. In germany we say that may makes everything anew and it certainly was true for me this year. I planned a trip to toronto, I got a raise, I got to see mamamoo, ive and a bunch of others live and i spoke a little to so so many sweet people.

@nevoono who makes literally the cutest fucking things ever and was my first german k-pop friend ever and also is just... really cool in such a unique way. idk I'm sorry I'm terrible at keeping up.

to @ambivartence who I don't talk to a ton but who also is literally the coolest artist alive and made me feel very happy to know that others also travel very far to see their groups. I stare at your paintings so much, i honestly should not admit it but there's just always so much to see.

and to @pvddins-art who is one of the sweetest and kindest and most generous people I've ever met, which is a high bar because I use those words for a lot of people, but for you they are more true than for anyone.

getting to go to a k-pop festival in germany as my first experience was so good too. I really had no idea what it means to ba a k-pop fan and the whole community and culture and incredible vibes around it when you're there in person. I had a very exhausting day and it was hot as hell and I had a migraine after but it was all worth it

interlude because I don't remember when I started talking to you:

@brianbangs tay my sweetheart, i love you so much. you're just one of the people who get it. like. idk, it's hard for me to put into words properly but you get it when I'm being a hater and you get it when I'm being emotional and you get it when I'm being horny and you accept all of it. I also think you're really fucking creative and talented and I love being here with you so much

then june came and it was one of my best months ever ever. I went to another festival and got to relive the music I loved as a teen. seeing the strokes 16 years after I was a fan made me cry a lot lol. I went to see my favorite people alive @starmotions, @fromadifferentphase (and the third one who is missing but u know who u are) in toronto. and I do mean this literally you're my favorites. I'm the most me when I'm with you, I think of everyone who knows me no one knows me so completely. there isn't anyone I share more parts of myself with. the 1 week I just got to hang out with you was so incredibly precious to me, it made me power through most of the rest of the year. moments of joy! I got to see toronto and got to spend time with people I love. one of my friends came all the way from salt lake city just to see me.

then I went to new york and now there's a long ass list coming because 1. it was the first time I met my beloved julia, 2. it was when i met my beloved kay 3. i got to travel with my beloved di and we got to explore new york and eat so many tacos and learn about queer art and history and also it was when I met both

@chanstopher and @lonelystreetlight and I'm puting you both in the same paragraph bc I started talking to both of you at the same time and also discovered that we're literally the same tumblr user, I cannot believe that I found the old 1D crowd again and the old glee crowd AND even the old starkid people. ok, I had to google the songs from the space tour just now but it's insane that I could text someone about both status quo by starkid AND zone by 3racha.

and lastly it was OF COURSE when i fucking saw fucking stray kids in fucking person (sorry) I was so numb from everything going on, and from the heat and from newark airport that I didn't even cry but looking back on it I honestly can't even begin to believe how lucky I was to be able to do all of that in just one month.

july was the month I went to see harry styles (meh) and hang out with an old friend because of it (yay) and I have literally nothing else in my calender for the entire month but I know I was a bit stressed. however I don't think it was a terrible time.

In august I went to the south of germany on vacation to celebrat my moms birthday, we went to the opera outdoors and I felt extremely fancy the entire time and also saw so many flowers. then we started the stayblr discord.

@snug-gyu @hanjesungs @ggthydrangea @littleclouds @shmalll @babychicklix and everyone else in there! I am so glad it's a space to hang out and message each other and talk about skz. I know I left very quickly (unfortunately group situations are terrible for my mental health and I felt very bad very quickly) but I still got to start chatting with so many cool people and I'm always so happy that we did that.

@bangchanies king of the dumpster that is new jersey, my absolute favorite eyeshadow model and another one of the bitches that just get it, u know? you just get what I'm trying to say and I am grateful to have you to text when I want to be annoying. (you're also secretly incredibly sweet and I think you're honestly just a very kind and empathetic person and i would be sadder without you but i will not tell anyone that you're secretly nice)

@cheekyquokka even though you're not IN the server, I feel like we started really talking around the same time so you're getting put in here as well. you're so generous and sweet to your friends, I remember the surprise and amazement from both bee and ale at the packages you sent them, you're such a great fucking mutual to have because you know yourself and you make really cool gifs, every time one of yours comes across my dash i know it. idek why. anyway, thank you <3

around september was when I finally started the group chat and seven made it complete, so here comes that bit. I needed to make sure you all know how much you mean to me.

@bourgeoix I swear in some off-kilter way we are soulmates. you make both my fandom brain and the little kid that didn't know popstars but could draw the shape of gorbachevs blood spot feel at home. you're soooo fucking smart and we have like debated moral philosophy and learning and reasoning styles at length so I won't go into it but it's one of those amazing fated coincidences that we both befriended seven and then each other. you think it's cool that I live near to Olaf Scholz's barbershop. you're my favorite of all the nerds. I could read the stuff you write for years and years and never get bored. I need to eat your brain (as jace or seven would say) and I love that we get to be both smart and very very very dumb together.

@hyumjim I honestly cannot top what mel said but you're like. my only grown up friend. You genuinely have a patience and kindness with people that is really hard to find. I know you don't show this to everyone but it makes me all the more grateful that I get to experience it. you're also insane. when seven first added you to the gc I had sth to say that felt really crazy to me and was nervous in front of you and seven said 'emily is also insane' and so i posted it in the gc and now we're friends. i don't remember what it was but you gave great advice and i sort of feel like we disagree and fight in all the ways that makes a relationship better and you make me insecure but in a fun way. you're a huge hater and yet you genuinely love people and humanity more than most people alive. thank you for listening to me.

@jellino jace idek how to describe you but you're like....... my little brother but not in a lame way. you're also older than me in some ways. idk, I just love how much you love stuff. I love how sure you are of what you're not, even while always wondering what you are. I think of you so much when I see sea creatures and ice age characters and dumb stuff. the other day I saw a squirrel irl and i thought 'I have to send this to jace' bc it reminded me of scrat from ice age. i cannot look at a penguin without thinking about you. I don't think I'll ever go to a zoo and not think of you. I also am always hoping that you are ok, that you find your way, that you know I'm happy and proud to know you...

@bewby my love. seven. I think it will never not be complicated how much I love you because I want you to be ok so bad. but it doesn't matter if you are or not for me to love you a whole lot. you're so funny and so smart and I say neither of these things lightly, like you have such a quick wit and you want everyone to be ok so bad and you love people so much and i hope that some day you will know that it is enough and you are enough. meeting you that one time was so fun, like we literally did not need more than a half hour to find sooo much stuff to talk about. I love having a german kpoppie friend, I love your tender heart, I love how understanding you are! I hope you know how much!

honestly it's all 4 of you that got me through fall and winter so far, it's venting and bitching and joking and writing insanely long messages to you that make me feel like a human instead of a gremlin. It's knowing that you like me and think I'm someone you want to listen to. You mean so much to me, I can never pay that back.

so much happened in my personal k-pop world in october PLUS most of my friends had their birthdays too so it was a bit stressful and it ended with my great uncle dying but i did get to see my old friends and family, so it was good in the end.

november was cold and dark as always but i got to feel so much warmth in scotland, just spending a few days going to museums and coffeeshops and nothing else and then seeing my love julia for the scond time, learning about history and eating pies. then I went to london to see @sunflowercocoa again after 5 fucking years and it was so much fun. I know you know how much I love you, I had such a good time, thank you for being my friend. Thank you for making me leave the house, thank you for being generous and fun and spending time with me. I know you're strong enough to get through the next year or so and I know you're gonna be so happy and so successful and you have a great life ahead. I know you're not here much anymore and that it kind of annoys you but you were a big part of this year and this is like my diary at this point tbh.

i also met @geniaparadox my homie and so much fun to hang out with. honestly our day together kind of made me wish i could've gotten to hang out with you in high school, i feel like we would have been friends. thank you for talking to me abt how underrated felix is and for looking at the bts stuff in hmv and despair because being a k-pop fan in europe is very sad and for buying japanese tea and just being cool. i am so happy that you get to not go back to that job

december was november but worse but I started it off sososo well, seeing julia the 3rd time and going to nuremberg and munich and being slightly tipsy at the christmas market everywhere and going swing dancing for the first time and trying so many fun food and drink things. It was a sad and anxiety-inducing month because so many people I know were ill or dying but in the end we mostly made it through and I am grateful. I got to spend the end of the year surrounded by babies and puppies and it felt good to not have to deal with grown-up things for a few days and just play.

#personal #life #middle of the day text posts #i love u all im so sorry for this

[sevensided]

Hi i just wanted to say first of all that you're one of the authors i most admire - and i don't mean just with fics/fandom, i mean in general. You're genuinely one of the best authors i've ever read, and you've been such a big inspiration to me personally, so thank you for being so lovely and sharing such beautiful works with the world <3

I did actually have a question! Do you have any advice about dealing with writer's block or feeling unmotivated to write? I wrote so much in the past year and now i feel like i've hit a wall, and it's made me kind of sad? Like i wake up every day and want to write, but i just can't get it to work like i used to. I didn't know if you maybe had any advice on it or anything that's helped you in the past, but i figured it wouldn't hurt to try and ask!

Again, thank you for sharing your beautiful writing with the world - i'm grateful for it every day. I hope everything is going well with you <3

Hello! I have been mulling over your question for a while, so I hope you'll forgive my delay in responding to you. Thank you sincerely for your compliments; it is seriously humbling to think that my writing has had that kind of impact. Thank you.

The thing about writer's block is that we all have it. I often go through huge waves of inspiration and activity where I can write intensely. But that is also followed by periods where it literally feels like a physical wall is blocking me off from any creativity or motivation. I really feel you. I only recently crawled out of that hole.

I don't think there is a one-size-fits-all answer, to be honest. What does help me is shifting focus to something else. For example, when I recently had writer's block I simply accepted it and indulged in watching some shows that I hadn't seen before (HBO's Perry Mason). I found that surprisingly inspiring, and what do you know, I have an idea for a fic and I've banged out close to 10k. That flowed onto another fic (not ST) that I'm working on. And now I'm back in my groove.

Sometimes I think it's about removing yourself from whatever you know you want to write. It's easy to get down on yourself and focus on the negative components: that you're lazy, or not good enough, or that you should just 'get over it'. Writing is tremendously difficult. It takes creative space and freedom and patience. These things cannot be summoned. But you can make those spaces for yourself.

I try to be intentional in how I use my creative energy, and I also restrict it. That might sound counter-intuitive, but I swear that it works. I will indulge my writing for a few hours before I make myself stop. I close the document and log out. The next day, I'm ready to go; I've been simmering for hours, I have so many ideas, I have to write! It's about stretching out that creative energy instead of depleting it so much that you need to recover, and then, before you know it, it's been months since you've written anything.

I also find that being accountable to someone else helps. I have a very, very dear friend who indulges me and will read all of my work, even if it's shit or not thought out. She is the best cheerleader. Sometimes you just need to know that someone will actually read whatever it is you're thinking of. They don't have to critique; they just have to read. Being able to promise another chapter to them does help with motivation.

I would also suggest carving out time for writing, and potentially putting a time restriction on it. Say you come home from a long day at work, and all you want is to eat dinner and relax and go to bed. Try and add writing in there too. Eat dinner, then get comfy and open your laptop/phone. Challenge yourself to write at least a paragraph. When you get going, stop yourself. Close your device. Put on some TV. Go to bed. Restrict the flow - then rinse and repeat. See if you can write more the next evening, and the next, and the next. And most importantly: do not read what you have written. Just keep going. Resist the urge to edit as you go. If you're insecure about your writing, editing is the death sentence, because it is the voice in the back of your head that tells you this will never be good enough, so why even try? Shut that voice up by pushing and pushing until you have 1k, 2k, then allow yourself to read and edit. Trust me, that voice is WRONG and the only way to overcome it is to learn how to manage it.

Another thing I would suggest is working on another project. Try writing some short piece unrelated to your current WIP. Some 500 words of pure chaos. Tidy it up. Publish it. Keep doing that. Keep putting work out there, just to have it in the universe. If you keep your writing in your head, you will not have enough space to write. Get it out!!! Free up your creative energy! Keep going!

The fact that you have had this momentum before is amazing. It sounds like you might be a little tired or creatively burned out. Try what I've suggested and see what happens. I'm also always down to chat about these processes, so feel free to IM me. You've got this.

#answered #writing help #writing advice

[kingofbodyrolls]

Oh my god, Friendcation is a masterpiece! The way you wrote it was freaking excellent!

I never knew until now that you also write, but when I saw Friendcation on my FYP, I realized I should have known earlier because your works are fantastic! Although Friendcation is the only fic I've read from your works, I am certain that every fic you've made is a masterpiece, and I can't wait to read all of them!

I am still reading Friendcation and recently finished Chapter 2, and I can't wait to read more of it! I really love the concept; every scene is just a chef's kiss! Honestly, Yoongi is perfect for the male lead, and I can picture it in my head so well! You did a great job portraying Yoongi, MC, and the whole gang in the story. I am really a fan of the friends to lovers concept! I can't wait to read more!

One thing that I will commend you for is how you constructed the whole thing so perfectly! As a reader, I am a fan of "show don't tell" because it adds more thrill to imagining things, and you are by far the perfect writer who has the best "show don't tell," I fucking swear to god! Just by reading the first paragraph of Friendcation, my jaw dropped, literally! Everything is perfectly written! If I had the chance to swim inside your head, I would take the opportunity without any hesitation!

I was really amazed by your work, and it's itching me to tell you already how excellent you are! I started reading Friendcation the other night, and most of the time, I read it before I slept. That's why it takes me forever to complete a chapter because I really take time reading every word, sentence, and paragraph because it's a fucking masterpiece! I will read your works as slowly as possible because I have to savour and enjoy everything! Continue doing your best! Love you!!!

Oh my god, Kai 😭😭😭😭😭

Thank you so much! I’ve been writing and posting for some time, but I never wanted to mix that with my montly fic recs – because I mainly just want to hype other people up and shine a light on their beautiful work, so it’s completely okay you didn’t know I wrote!

KFDSFAHDSHF – you are so damn kind with your words, you’re making me speechless and blushing too! I am so happy that you like it and that you can picture everything so vividly in your head 🥹 Makes me so truly happy!

You are so fucking sweet with your words and your review! You are both making me smile like a goddamn fool and bawl my eyes out at the same time. I feel so honored 😭I really like “show don’t tell,” and I tried my best to incorporate that! I mean, I am just so speechless by your lovely words and praise, I’ll treasure your words forever!!!

Seriously, you don’t know how happy you’ve made me with this ask! 🥹 You are amazing my lovely friend, truly a star ⭐ 

If you like the darker stuff, I’d recommend ‘Coming Home’, although it’s not nearly as dark and thriller as your amazing ‘Fragments of the Past’ (still the best yandere thriller I’ve read! 😘). Take your time love, don’t rush or stress, also remember to do your own stuff 😂 My fics will always be here.

I also like to take my time when reading (and to add to that, I’m a fucking slow reader because I don’t want to miss or skip anything). So please take your time, I really hope you enjoy it! I had a lot of fun writing it and I already miss this couple so much 😭

Again, thank you so much for taking your time to read it, and then write this freaking lovely message to me 😭 You have truly made my day! Although I don’t think it’s a masterpiece (don’t get me wrong, I love it very much!), I’ll try to take your words and praise completely to heart and use it to fuel and continue doing my best in my future writing 💜

#moots love #lovely people #friendcation series #friendcation review #lissa.txt #ctrlsht #you are so lovely and kind #making be cry in the best way possible #happy tears #thank you #you are the best

[fenharael]

Fanfic writing ask: 23, 29, 56, 72

23. Best writing advice for other writers?

Just write! Sometimes anxiety is the biggest hurdle, and it can be really easy to fall into thought spirals of "not being good enough" or "what if" scenarios. Just taking that first step is worth it! Write for yourself. Seriously, this is said quite frequently, but it's very important. Write the stories you want to read, write to have fun, write to explore something personal - whatever it is, the most important thing is it's for you. At the end of the day, you're spending the most time with your work and even if no one else i n the world reads it, you will have found joy in what you created. Passion and creativity comes from the things you care about, if you're writing for someone else's approval, it will feel like a chore. Read. This is more for improving on your writing, but the more you read other people's work, the better you will get. If you like a certain style or voice, read an author that does that and try it out! If you're writing a longer fic, make an outline. Even if its just bullet points. I learned this the hard way lol. Don't be afraid of stream-of-consciousness writing. Sometimes you just gotta trust the process and let the characters, or your brain, or your dick/pussy take you for a ride. 29. What’s your revision or editing process like?

It's sort of evolving the more I write tbh, I don't have a system yet. Right now I will usually reread my first pass and edit it until it feels right. Usually I'll look out for repeating words in a paragraph, and if stuff feels "right". When I wrote BL I honestly just published my first draft of each chapter - I didn't really start considering the larger plot until chapter 5, because up until that point it had been planned as a one shot. Since, then I've been trying to finish basic plot structure and outlines BEFORE publishing...but it means I am extra super slow. I have also had people beta my work more recently which has been IMMENSELY helpful! I've also started using Grammarly because I abuse commas. Sorry I don't think this was a super helpful answer! 56. What’s something about your writing that you pride yourself on? Hmm... probably writing emotions and describing sensations? I think those are my strengths. 72. What order do you write in? front of book to back? chronological? favorite scenes first? something else? I try to write chronologically, but sometimes I will jump around if I have a specific scene idea. I also will write backstory and world-building ideas alongside current stuff to figure out how I want to do something, or have it appear, or figure out a character headcanon on a topic.

#nullcanary #ask box

[sophiainspace]

Random number time: 4, 13, 27, 31, 39 if you haven’t done them yet!

Checking very carefully that I have the right numbers here... :D

4. How many fic ideas are you nurturing right now? Care to share one of them?

Not many! The muse hasn't been very active recently. But, other than the ongoing coldflash fic, I'm also working on-and-off on a Leonard Snart/Faith Lehane (from Buffy the Vampire Slayer) friends-with-benefits-and-they're-both-tragically-in-unrequited-love-with-other-people fic. This is going to be very niche and will probably get two whole readers, but I'm having fun playing with the idea. Shove your random unconnected blorbos together and see if they want to kiss and/or hang out. It's fun!

13. What’s the best writing advice you’ve ever come across?

This one. (Seriously. The problem is always about 10 lines back.)

27. How do you feel about collaborations?

They're great - with the right person! But that's the hard part. I co-wrote a book with someone else (non-fiction, so it's different but not that different), and it was a serious challenge, but doable, because good choice of writing partner. In my fic writing life, I've co-written with exactly two people where it's gone well, and it was great. Beta reading is another kind of collaboration I enjoy, but again, only with the right person - good beta readers are like gold dust (I am never letting @achangeinpriorities or @blueelvewithwings leave this fandom, because then beta reading for each other will end - *ahem* I mean they can leave if they really want to, but I will cry. A lot). On the other hand, if you work with the wrong person, good luck - collaborating is really hard and you'll probably end up hating them, or yourself, or both of you. I've done that too :D

31. Do you take liberties with canon or are you very strict about your fic being canon compliant?

Have you read my fic? I want to say I'm more canon compliant than the DCTV writers' room (like it's hard) - but maybe that's not as true as it used to be. There was a time I refused to write dead characters coming back to life because it felt cheap. I gave up on that eventually. because how else are you going to tell the fun stories? I even write a few AUs now (but almost never fantasy AUs because I do not want olde English all up in my superhero stories. but that's just me). But I still really love my canon compliant fic. It's an oddly rewarding challenge, trying to make sense of the mess that canon has thrown at us - like trying to solve a crossword puzzle with half the clues, or something. Um, that does not make it sound fun. Never mind.

39. Do you ever get rude reviews and how do you deal with them?

I've not had lots, but I've had a couple - complaints about my neurodivergent headcanons, mostly. I used to get very upset about that kind of reaction, but now I'm just, fuck 'em. If you don't love me at my 'reading all the characters as neurodivergent - pretentious one-line paragraphs - tiny 300 word fics randomly thrown into one fic as unconnected chapters and call it done,' you don't deserve me at my 'almost coherent 110,000* word coldflash series with lots of UST and quite a bit of resolved ST.' Or something.

*JFC. I just looked that up - I would have guessed half that. That is too many words.

(Thanks for the asks!)

#weekend ask memes #my fic #fanfic and fandom

[societysonlooker]

2) What is your favorite fic of yours?

3) What fic of yours do you think is underrated?

6) Do you outline your fics? If so, how?

8) Do you take inspiration from real life? If so how do you incorporate it into your fics?

Oh hey anon!

2) So, while I don't really have any comfort fics, but one series that lives rent free in my head is Caged Robins by independent_variables. Here's the description:

Caged Robins don't sing, they beat their wings against the bars.

Or:

Jack Drake meets Robin.

And another favorite of mine is 16 November 1581 by DairyFarmer. If you like Good Dad Bruce fics and you like hurt/comfort, this is for you. It's just, a stellar fic all in all. Tw for child abuse, though. Description:

Bruce blacked out. He wasn’t sure what happened after those words left Jack’s mouth. All he knew was that the next thing he remembered was being pulled off of Jack Drake by several police officers.

----

Tim goes missing and there were times that Bruce wished he wasn’t such a good detective.

There's a lot more fics from a few different fandoms I could rec if people were interested, but these are ones I've remembered and read Recently. shoutouts to

the ENTIRE Where's My Goddamned Dinosaur series by njw (18+ yall)

Loading and Aspect Ratio by JUBE514

M&M by Impravidus

The Entirety of Liminal Spaces by Calamityjim

Worlds Finest Three by SuperRobinSmash (18+ yall)

Whatever Happened To Tim Drake? By TinHatFlash (READ THE FUCKING TAGS YALL). I frankly consider the best example of an honest to god Greek tragedy that I've ever seen in modern writing (and I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR THAT SHIT) because every "mistake" the characters make is an action that have no choice but to make because they are who they are and they're trying to do the next best thing in a horrible situation and it is an ever-evolving downward spiral. Seriously, I cannot sing enough praise for this fic.

Additional shoutouts to Heartslogos, Petra, and Teland, who's fics dragged me, joyfully, into this fandom, what with my then-limited-to-Teen-Titans-Cartoon knowledge of dc comics, and honestly so many others who's names I recognize, but can't pull from yhe top of my head right now.

Ok ok,

3) so, the first thing is I actually have irl friends who follow this account, so on the off chance they see this, I'm not gonna talk about my own works, *but*, I do think that one of my short-story/longfics is over-rated. It's got 2 chapters, is unfinished, hasn't updated in years, is full of mistakes and stilted sentences, is frankly a longfic i didnt commit to and need to seriously rework before i continue, and it has as many kudos as all my other works. Don't get me wrong, I'm thankful for all of them, and I'm really happy that the story made so many people happy! I just think it's definitely one of my rougher pieces, and hopefully now that my schedule is even-ing out i can finally dedicate some time to working on that.

6) yes and no, sometimes I get an idea and inspiration for a short fic and am writing whatever comes to mind in a matter of minutes, and finish it in a caffein induced haze within the week. Sometimes I write a full NotFic (a beat sheet, if you will) and never write a full story. Sometimes I write a notfic, edit it a couple of times, then write a fic. Sometimes I copy/paste the thing into a new doc and just restructure the sentences into the right perspectives, paragraphs, and descriptions, and Bam! Story. And sometimes I do an actual point by point outline of "these are the beats I want to hit, the how doesn't matter, just figure out the details as you go and Get To This Place, and that's the kind of thing that usually leads to my fics that deal more with emotional trauma than anything else, I want the characters to feel a certain way then interact with each other, and I ask myself how I can bring them to that point. The story usually builds itself after that.

8) Oh yeah, all the time. I started writing by writing poetry to express myself, and the media I consumed was, generally, along the same vein. As a kid I liked pieces that were both escapism, and something that tackled my day-to-day problems. So give me magic and dragons, but give me academic pressure and strained interpersonal relationships, too. To this day, that is still my taste in media. I use fiction-writing as a way to vent my own thoughts, emotions, and traumas. I'm always inspired by the world around me, in that sometimes i see a pretty dress and have to think "do I want to wear this dress, or do I want to see a pretty girl in this dress?" And then write both. Sometimes I go "man, that was fucked, Imagine if I made a fictional character go through that too?" And then make the character go through something infinitely worse, yet still come out on top. In that sometimes I find that I'm writing a lot of a trope I enjoy, and then I start examining what about the trope i like, and nine times out off ten some other long-forgotten trauma comes flying out of the woodwork. When I'm writing, I'm doing it to tell a story, yes, but also to examine some aspect of people. Their inner thoughts, the way we interact with each other, our wants and needs, how we treat each other in a society l, and why some normal human things are taboo when the same society allows atrocities. I don't necessarily think stories need to so much have a progression as they need to simply convey something to the reader, much like poetry, and I think that really impacts my writing.

Anyway, sorry that was so long! I have a lot of feelings about fanfic 😂 thanks for the ask nonny!!!

#societysonlooker's asks #just tagging so i can find it again if i need. i do a lot of revlogging

[sprout-fics]

You know, I was talking about writing advice with someone recently, and it kinda reminded me about how far my writing has come. For context, I started writing in...probably 2008? All original stories about some young female chosen one destined to save the world along her dark-haired aloof but dedicated male love interest.

and it was awful.

Seriously, it was genuinely terrible. Every vocal descriptor as 'said', entire plot points lasting no less than a paragraph, full of typos, Mary-Sue to the max, poorly written plot, just completely terrible.

But that's the part of the journey. You gotta start somewhere, right? And the more I wrote, the more I read, the more media I consumed, I began to understand what was wrong with my writing and how to improve it. How to construct scenes, how to describe things, expanding my vocabulary, build better characters, all of it. I know I'm not the best writer, but I've managed to become much more confident in my skill over the years as a result of the time I've dedicated to it.

So when I get asked for writing advice, my most important lesson will always be 'practice'.

#writing advice #captains log

[myfalsedevotion]

supposed to be editing huh vicky 🤨🤨🤨 im kidding let's do this 😌 how about 2, 7, 15, 17 & 22! ok that's a lot but i have restrained myself from sending all of them so be proud of me 💙

I'm always proud of you, Maya 💙💙 And yup, I've started the editing process 🤭🤭 (I still am fighting with a couple paragraphs from the end scene, so I decided to start editing and let my brain work it out in the background hahahah)

Let's do this (under the cut so I don't take over people's dashes):

2. talk about a notable time a narrative or character has looked you dead in the eyes and said “fuck your plan, here’s what we’re actually doing.”

Okay, this is fun. There's been a couple times. Can't talk about the most recent one before tomorrow, but. In Hourglass. Cashton were never supposed to be a thing. It was a one-sided crush side plot. And then Ashton looked me dead in the eyes and was like "did you really think you could put Calum next to me for an extended period of time being his cute and talented self and I wouldn't develop fEeLiNgS???" so... 😅

Oh, and let's never forget Ashton growing a sudden tragic past when I was writing what I thought would be a fun lil christmass-y one-shot fic that would later be known as All The Hues Of Blue 🤭 He was just "well, you see, I'm a bit broken. So this is not going to be just a fun one-shot. It's going to end up being a huge ass series. You're welcome 💙"

7. tell us about one of your characters who’s an absolute joy to write

LUCIFURR. Gosh he's so fun. Although I've never written him, him. Always about other character's perceptions of him hahahah. And, of course, Otto, my beloved 💙 Otto's always a joy to write. Can't wait to write more of him. Eventually. Some day. He's such a sweet character, I can't 🥺

15. in an ideal world where you’re already super successful and published, would you want to see a tv or movie adaptation of your work? why or why not?

Mayaa, you know the answer to this one 🤭🤭 YES! I'd love to, but. I'd also love to be involved. I have a degree in film, if in this hypothetical world they offered me the chance to work on the script, or helping the casting, or being a part of the creative team? Sign me the fuck up. Athob for example is huge on colour symbolism, I'd absolutely love to explore that in an actual film 😍😍 One can dream hahahahah

17. at what point in the process do you come up with titles, and how easy or hard is that for you?

It is the hardest thing sometimes. I spent two months with Hourglass as "Batman fic" on my drafts, trying to look for a title then deciding on using the name I had given the animation studio on it for the title.

For my one-shots, unless I've had a clear direction from the beginning (Kokology), it's been hard. Then they end up being named Crayon Record Store because there was a record store on the fic and since it was Cake I wrote for my best friend's birthday, who I have saved as "Crayon" on my phone –she misspelled crying and wrote crayon once and I will never let her live it down–, well, I just put two and two together.

Then there's All The Hues Of Blue, which working title was "Christmas is all around" up until the moment I was about to post the first chapter, then the title just came to me. Funny thing, because it ended up being the thread that bound together that entire story, part of what gave it meaning. And it just... came to me. And Rare as Gold came to me when I was reading about neutron star collisions and how they're believed to be the origin of all the gold found in our galaxy (at this point I already knew what the last words of ATHOB were, and chose the title for the sequel knowing that). And... it will play a big part on the final scene 🤭

22. talk about a writing experience that has pleasantly surprised you. or talk about several. seriously, writing is cool. you’re making up whole stories out of your brain, revel in that shit.

Pleasantly surprised me? 🤔🤔 There's been a lot. Of course all the friends I've met through writing, that's the first thing that comes to mind.💙 Even though I don't think that question refers to that, but. It's the most important thing.

Another thing is how writing is such a powerful tool for self-reflection. I literally, subconsciously wrote things into fics over three years ago that I'm only just now picking up on and understanding that say a lot about what I was going through at the time, or about who I am. It's so cool to be rereading something I wrote and then go "...huh." 🤭

#thank you for the asks Maya! this was a nice break from editing 💙 #ask games #writing #athob

[mimzy-writing-online]

Hey!! I was wondering if you had any advice for a character concept I've been playing with? :) long story short, my character wasn't born blind, but throughout the story she progressively becomes blind from cataracts- cortical vision impairment to be exact. Is this inherently a bad concept? I really don't want to misrepresent this, and the last thing I want is to make people mad about it. Is there a way I should go about this? Thanks!!

Later message from same Anon: Hey! Just following up on my ask of writing a blind character in the Victorian era- sorry if I missed it

Note: in a message between the first and third, anon added that this story takes place in the Victorian era.

You certainly did not miss it, I’ve just been lazy (struggling) with blog maintenance and have been procrastinating answering several asks.  Historical fiction is out of my area of expertise, so this required more research than general advice.

Also, my first and second attempts at an answer were eaten away by computer/tumblr difficulties, so I had to rewrite a lot.

I think it is a fantastic idea to have your character go blind slowly over time. It is also ambitious, so it is something you need to be careful with, but it’s totally doable.

So the era throws me a little because I’ve never had much practice with historical fiction and history wasn’t a fave subject of mine. Most of my research into blind history has been after World War I, because the sudden surge of blinded veterans changed the course of history for the blind community. This and technology overall led to those huge changes.

So I did a little reading up on the recent evolutions of blindness and the world’s general understanding of it in the 1800s.

Conclusion: society was shit with disability, but I already knew that. There were some remarkable inventions and innovations for blindness in this century, which I will get to later.

 So this post will be: 1. The more personal aspects of going blind over time (instead of all at once) such as acceptance vs denial, life changes, and internalized ableism. 2. Speculating on society’s perception of the blind. 3. Innovations for the blind in that era and what comes after.

 So, part one. The Emotional…

As someone who has slowly lost vision over the course of years and has no idea how far this will progress, I can tell you that it’s an agonizing process of realization, denial, understanding, acceptance, adaption.

Realizing you’re going blind comes in small pieces that eventually add up to become a puzzle. And for this reason, adaption follows a similar pattern.

You identify a problem, feel conflicted about this change, wonder if you should ignore or investigate, and regardless of which path you take, you find a new way to adapt.

I’m going to use an example of my process through this, so you can see the actual thought patterns and how they circle between “this isn’t a problem” – “wait this is a problem” – “no I’m fine!” – “this is a problem.” – “I’m fine, what am I complaining for” – “I made this change and now my life is 100x easier??? Who knew? Why didn’t I do this sooner?”

Example from my life: Light is bright. That hurts but I’m fine. I get sunglasses. The pain with bright light is getting worse. Okay, that’s concerning, maybe I should talk to a doctor. Doctor says I’m fine but now I’m thinking I’m not okay. Why are my eyes doing this? Why do I hurt? Oh, and now bright lights at night are becoming a problem, and I get more headaches associated with light. I could wear sunglasses at night and indoors, but society has given me a negative and judgemental opinion of that, so I don’t want to do it. Best friend pushes me to give up on that negative view for the sake of my health. Finally I listen and life feels much better, but I’m still a little uncomfortable with this change. I feel very blind with my sunglasses, but that’s the only way to not feel pain. And now I feel blind when I’m not wearing any light protection, but I’m in pain this way. What’s wrong with me?

And this is just my internal argument with sunglasses and light sensitivity, from age 17-22. On the other side is my struggle with “do I need a cane” from age 21-22, which goes like this-

It’s August and I’m walking through a semi-familiar but gigantic and ridiculously crowded park with a group of friends. It’s bright out and I need to wear my sunglasses. And now I’m realizing there is a dilemma. I can’t see. My sunglasses are too dark to see. But going without is painful and just as bad vision wise. BUT I CAN’T SEE! I’m scared, I’m going to run into someone or something, I’ll get lost or separated from my friends and not be able to find them. I can’t see curbs or pillars or people and the only thing keeping me safe is holding onto K, who knows my current vision situation when no one else does

And I think to myself- this day would be so much easier if I had a cane.

But I haven’t needed one before, and I don’t ‘normally’ need one. Just every time I go outside on a sunny day. I don’t need it all the time, so I can’t have one, I’m fine.

But these things keep happening, where I’m outside and terrified but I think I’m still “sighted” and my only problem is some light sensitivity and not-super-great sunglasses. My glasses let me see 20/20 (or they did, which they did not a year later) so I definitely don’t need a cane at all.

Young past self, you were so wrong. You needed that.

Eventually I had a breaking point when one year later I’m seeing 20/50 with best correction (so, by legal definitions I’m not even visually impaired yet) but I’m terrified of leaving my house and can’t travel alone and am a literal danger to myself because I can’t see and can’t tell people I can’t see because of social anxiety and internalized ableism-

And the breaking point was that I finally got seriously hurt because I was in a situation where I couldn’t see and wasn’t brave enough to ask my current company to be a sighted guide. That’s the day I ordered a cane, and when it came two weeks ago, I finally remembered what it’s like to not be so terrified for my life every time I left my home.

Your character will over time find problems with her daily life that she didn’t have before, and she’ll deal with each one individually, but with all of them will usually be a repeating thought pattern that is unique to her. It depends on her internalized ableism and society’s ableism (and that era is full of it) and accommodations available to them at the time (also not great).

She’ll solve each problem at a different point that may coincide with other problems and yet still seem like entirely separate problems to them. Like how I wouldn’t relate my need for sunglasses and my need for a cane at the same time because they felt like separate battles to me with their own timelines and similar but still different thought processes.

You will have to decide on a case by case basis what accommodations or accessibility she can have at that time.

 Society’s view on blindness:

It’s shit.

It’s not great now, in the world of information available at your fingertips. It’s desperately worse in history.

 (TW: abuse of disabled people mentioned -thoroughly- in the next two paragraphs)

Everyone with a disability was treated like shit. Sensory disabilities (Deaf or Blind or Deafblind people) and mental illness were treated the worst. There is historical religious persecution against them, saying that they were made ill by the devil or a vengeful God. Which lead to abuse. They were seen as helpless or unproductive, defective, and so were treated as burdens upon their family and society. Because of this, abuse from parents and family members was horribly common for disabled people. Disabled people were often left in asylums by their family members because they were seen as a burden, where there was usually still more abuse to come.

There are still children with disabilities who are abused by their parents, families, care givers, or any facility they’ve been placed in. The cases of abuse are less, but by no means over.

 Ableism in general is just rampant and it’s only cured through the distribution of information. Most people (today) have never met a blind person in real life, had a conversation with one. Through the internet they can find information, but in pre-internet and media eras I can’t imagine how much ignorance runs about.

Most people think blindness is something that only happens with old age, birth defects, or tragic accidents. Or that blindness is obvious in a person. Not the case, as we both know, but certainly a cause for many misunderstandings.

 This section is where the development of technology and understanding of blind people begins, but there’s still some ugly history involving abuse of the disabled to come.

Technology and History

 (TW: abuse towards historical disabled people in next paragraph)

In 1785 the Institut National des Jeunes Aveugles, the world’s very first school for the blind was established in Paris, France. It was opened internationally to children who society had previously deemed unteachable. Valentin Haüy witnessed acts of bullying and cruelty done to blind hospice patients and it inspired him to attempt teaching a blind beggar. He taught the boy to read through raised letters (because Braille was not yet invented). The school he founded could better be described as a trade school, because its primary purpose was to teach work skills like letter press and weaving (going back to Valentin’s childhood, whose family worked as weavers)

Due to criminal activity (he was labeled as a terrorist related to the French Revolution and was a member of the Panthéon Club) he was forced to leave the school in 1802. He later moved to Russia (1806) and began a new school upon the request of Alexander I of Russia.

(TW: child abuse mention in next paragraph)

After his leave, the school had a change in leadership and location, and subsequently quality. Sébastien Guillié became the new director and was later forced to leave because of the inhumane conditions of the facility and welfare of the children. Those children lived in a French Revolution prison that was refurbished as an asylum/school for their education. It was cold and dirty. They were kept in the dark, only allowed to bathe once a month, and poorly fed. This went on until 1821 when he was forced to leave.

Louis Braille (the inventor of Braille) was a student of the school until Guillié’s reign of terror.

The school was later moved to Boulevard des Invalides, and it remains there today. Information with this school is hard for me to access. It doesn’t have the prettiest history, so I can only speculate how much was left out of the books to save the school, and what information I could access is in French.

However, back to Braille.

Braille was invented by Frenchman Louis Braille in 1824. Before his invention, he was taught to read through raised lettering, and he concluded that raised lettering was impractical because-

1.       It is difficult to read, the letters had to be printed in huge font to be fully felt out and printed on thick paper.

2.       Thick paper means higher quality, more expensive. Larger font means more paper is needed for a single text.

3.       This made it inaccessible due to expense and the sheer volume of a text.

4.       If today’s Braille books are hard to access and giant compared to traditional books, I can’t imagine how inaccessible those raised letter books really were

 Five years later The Perkins School for the Blind was founded in America, making education accessible to blind and deafblind children, and this time it focused on reading and mathematics, more education than trade school.

Though it would not have been possible for your character to attend the school herself, it could be possible that she became acquainted with a teacher or former student of either school, who might have passed on some O&M skills to her or some not so pleasant tales.

Side note: the Perkins Brailler (a typewriter machine for Braille) was developed by a wood working teacher at the Perkins School for the Blind – in 1951, so not applicable to your character’s time period, but I didn’t know this, so I must info-dump

 This is before the eugenics movement of 20th century America, when the belief that people with “poor breeding” should be prevented from breeding. The eugenics movement targeted not only the disabled, but lower class and people of color.

  The white cane as an accessibility tool was not “discovered” until the 1930’s by Philip Strong, who painted his walking stick white to make himself more visible. This piece of history is a little flimsy in my opinion. Techniques are discovered and lost and rediscovered all the time. You can’t prove he was the first person to “wave a stick” in front of him to find obstacles.

But he is credited for making the white cane something that could be a standard identifier to tell people (moving obstacles) “hey, I’m blind, don’t hit me with your loud vehicle” and made a movement of other people getting white canes to identify themselves.

I very much thank him for it, seeing as I’m so sighted-passing sometimes. If white canes weren’t standard everyone-must-know-what-this-means sort of thing, I think people would just watch me “wave a stick” around and think I’d lost my mind.

(TW: suicide of disabled character mention in next paragraph)

So when you see something like in Downton Abby (season 2) when Thomas and Sybil are trying to teach a blinded soldier how to use a cane to navigate… it could be possible, something that actually occurred to some people then. Although, now that I think about it, that character killed himself by the end of the episode and that still upsets me.

Downton Abby got the period-typical ableism right, I will give them that. Both the internalized ableism as well as how strangers treat you, they got that right. What they did to their disabled characters still bothers me (i.e. death and cure subplots)

(TW has been lifted, you made it past.)

But with World War 1, there was a huge number of blinded veterans entering the world and that did make way for big changes in the world of blindness-

Within a few decades guide dogs were being trained, white canes were becoming a thing, Schools for the Blind were thinking, “hey, maybe we should teach adults these skills too!” and life continued on until it eventually reached out modern world. Which, not applicable to your era, but I think it’s important to know what wasn’t available or common knowledge for your character.

If anyone has other information about historical fiction, the Victorian era, and historical ableism and disability, please feel free to reblog with your input and I’ll reblog it.

As always, this post can be found on my blog through the tags: reference, blind character, historical fiction

#writeblr #writing advice #writing community #historical fiction #blind character #writing advice written by me #victorian era #Anonymous

[a-cure-for-writers-block]

Hi! I've been working on a story for about a month now and I'm having major writer's block. There's no inspiration whatsoever. Any suggestions?? Thank you!

Hey, my love! This feeling is honestly the worst and I can’t tell you how often it happens to me and other writers as well, so don’t be discouraged- I am here to help ^_^

10 Ways to Find Inspiration to Continue Your Story/Curing Writer’s Block (For now).

Reread! It sounds obvious, right? But reread, even if it’s just a paragraph. Think of it from a readers perspective and assume which direction the story will go in- then take the complete opposite direction.

Write out multiple ways the next part might go. I do this all the time, it gets quite complicated so I tend to write uncertain parts in purple and ones I like in dark green. This causes you to brainstorm the subject without you realising you’re doing it and throughout all of this you can read back and pick out the ideas, from each of them, that you liked.

Write about something else. Take a break and write an excerpt of something you don’t usually write. Poetry is one of my favourite things to write when I need to take a break from fiction, but it can be anything really! Try an excerpt of a genre you don’t usually write in, I guarantee you’ll come back with a new mindset and some fresh ideas.

Go on an adventure. I’m serious, go outside and ignore your book for a day or two. I tend to just go to London and explore, but I’ll always end up on Southbank with another idea. Going out on your own gives you time to think and writers tend to see the same four walls for long periods of time so it’s good to get out. You might even see something unexpected that you can grasp as inspiration for your story.

Have a ‘can do’ attitude. Stop feeling sorry for yourself, it’s not doing you any good. I remember when I first started learning Korean, I convinced myself that I’d never pick anything up, but you can’t keep thinking like that if you want to progress. You are the best, you are awesome, you will succeed.

Don’t hesitate to ask for an outsider’s point of view. I have people ask me questions about their story everyday and being someone who hasn’t written, rewritten and read that piece a million times can make things seem clearer for me, because I am reading it for the first time. I ask people for help all the time, even if it’s just proofreading (my grandparents do that for me lol) I always ask their opinion. Make sure to ask for an outsider’s point of view, that way you can also ask them what they think might happen next, then throw in a curveball that they didn’t see coming.

Bullet point what could happen. This is literally I something I do all the time. When I’m working and there’s no one around I just jot down all my ideas, it seriously helps as I always forget things. Like all the time.

Start reading something that isn’t normally a genre you’d read. The amount of ideas you can come up with simply by changing your reading genre is beyond incredible. I use to just write fiction, but started reading dystopian and thriller and recently I can find aspects of the genre’s in my writing. It also opens your mind up to so many other possibilities.

Alternatively, read something you do normally read. I have probably told you all this on an average of 736 times, but my favourite series is the Delirium books by Lauren Oliver and- I’m telling you- they fix everything for me. I have read the trilogy 3 times over now and everytime I read it, I feel my writing improve, even just a little bit. It’s familiar ground and helps evoke memories of when you were reading it the previous time and the time before that and the time before that. Going back to familiar ground and paying attention to detail, the style of writing and language techniques always help when you get back to your piece.

Study something. Immerse yourself in something else. I’m also doing this at the moment- ironic that the admin has writer’s block at the moment. I recently rediscovered Greek Mythology (my sad, gay, emo adolescence is calling) and have been loving it. Studying something is actually a lot more exciting than you may originally think. A few years back I had such bad writer’s block that I ended up learning the basics of Law. The boredom I found in it was enough to drive me back to my writing, but that’s not the point, I learnt some things whilst in my rut and now I have something to show for it. Just ignore your work for a while and do something else: study a new culture, join a cooking class, become part of a book club, explore a new city, learn about architecture, whatever it is!

Now this is, by no means, a proper guide that will definitely fix your writer’s block, but I can say that these definitely work for me! I hope they can be of use to you as well. Good luck and let me know when that block ends for you- ♥︎♥︎♥︎

#ask #ask me #taste-the-grainbow #writers block #writer's block #creative writing #writing help #help my book #help my story #i hope this helped #writers helping writers #writing problems #writer problems

[jonismitchell]

HI IM BACK!! I'm a strong believer in fall supremacy too :DD I mean the crunchy leaves!! the dropping temperature!! the whole orange-y aesthetic!! what's there not to ove about autumn (although I've never really experienced it firsthand myself) i always say, you can wear extra pieces of clothing if you're feeling cold but can't tear off layers of your skin if you're feeling hot yknow?

an acoustic version of forever winter would be perfect omg I haven't even thought about that!! reputation rerecorded is definitely something to look forward to, especially since it was such an iconic era as well. I'm also keeping my fingers crossed for a lorde feature in rep tv!!

"what else can we try to be better for" so true so true. and it applies to familial and platonic love as well. anyway thank you so much for your wise input on this <33

LASTLY THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL THE RECOMMENDATIONS TOO I REALLY REALLY APPRECIATE IT I'm super excited about it!!!! I'll be sure to notify you when I actually start on one of those books and update you on my reading journey :) oh yes, one more thing I forgot to mention. I looked through your writing tag and your art is absolutely beautiful. I'll be sure to reblog a bunch of them when this event ends because I can't go around revealing myself now can I?

oh yes and question of the day: if you could make changes to all of taylor's albums, what are some tweaks that you'll make?

hey there! no worries for forgetting to sign off, i assumed it was you! fall is legitimately the best season. you're so right that extreme cold is easier to handle than extreme heat, and of course the fall aesthetic is unmatched. i'm going to be so annoying when it starts getting warmer again. i hate it so much... ironically the cold makes me want to make plans with friends and the heat makes me want to never speak to anyone ever again. but such is life.

things i want from taylor swift: acoustic forever winter, lorde and the national featured on reputation (taylor's version), and her closet. seriously, she's worn some weird things, but she also has a ton of nice pieces i would like to steal. do you have favourite candids / awards show looks of hers?

i've been thinking about love a lot recently (three guesses as to why) and i've come to the conclusion that it's hard. it's work. it's about trying and it's about trust. we have to work to maintain our relationships with other people and we have to have faith that they'll want to keep putting the work in for us. love (to me, at least) is so much more powerful when we treat it as an active choice rather than an external force we have no say in.

and you're quite welcome for the recommendations! i realized that i really loved compiling that list, and might want to make a more formal one as a sort of 'roadmap' through classic lit. it would of course be dependent on what i've read and skewed towards my personal preferences as a reader, but i think it might still be fun.

finally—and i realize this ask contained one actual question and i'm only answering it in the fifth paragraph (despite my english teacher's attempts to make me write concisely)—taylor's albums! i'd probably cut some of the songs i don't like as much (goodbye, stay stay stay), swap out some of the deluxe songs with weaker tracklist counterparts (you are in love to replace bad blood, right where you left me to replace no body no crime), and switch up some of the tracklisting to make it flow better (especially with the longer albums). i'd also want to update basically all of the cover art <3

#n13 secret santa #asking with you

[graysonfirewolf85-blog]

Suicide and Witchcraft

The one question everyone has asked without exception, that they ache to have answered more than any other, is simply: why? Why did their friend, child, parent, spouse, or sibling take their own life? Even when a note explaining the reasons is found, lingering questions usually remain: yes, they felt enough despair to want to die, but why did they feel that? A person's suicide often takes the people it leaves behind by surprise (only accentuating survivor's guilt for failing to see it coming).

People who've survived suicide attempts have reported wanting not so much to die as to stop living, a strange dichotomy but a valid one nevertheless. If some in-between state existed, some other alternative to death, I suspect many suicidal people would take it.

In general, people try to kill themselves for six reasons:

1) They're depressed. This is without question the most common reason people commit suicide. Severe depression is always accompanied by a pervasive sense of suffering as well as the belief that escape from it is hopeless. The pain of existence often becomes too much for severely depressed people to bear. The state of depression warps their thinking, allowing ideas like "Everyone would all be better off without me" to make rational sense. They shouldn't be blamed for falling prey to such distorted thoughts any more than a heart patient should be blamed for experiencing chest pain: it's simply the nature of their disease. Because depression, as we all know, is almost always treatable, we should all seek to recognize its presence in our close friends and loved ones. Often people suffer with it silently, planning suicide without anyone ever knowing. Despite making both parties uncomfortable, inquiring directly about suicidal thoughts in my experience almost always yields an honest response. If you suspect someone might be depressed, don't allow your tendency to deny the possibility of suicidal ideation prevent you from asking about it.

2) They're psychotic. Malevolent inner voices often command self-destruction for unintelligible reasons. Psychosis is much harder to mask than depression, and is arguably even more tragic. The worldwide incidence of schizophrenia is 1% and often strikes otherwise healthy, high-performing individuals, whose lives, though manageable with medication, never fulfill their original promise. Schizophrenics are just as likely to talk freely about the voices commanding them to kill themselves as not, and also, in my experience, give honest answers about thoughts of suicide when asked directly. Psychosis, too, is treatable, and usually must be treated for a schizophrenic to be able to function at all. Untreated or poorly treated psychosis almost always requires hospital admission to a locked ward until the voices lose their commanding power.

3) They're impulsive. Often related to drugs and alcohol, some people become maudlin and impulsively attempt to end their own lives. Once sobered and calmed, these people usually feel emphatically ashamed. The remorse is often genuine, but whether or not they'll ever attempt suicide again is unpredictable. They may try it again the very next time they become drunk or high, or never again in their lifetime. Hospital admission is therefore not usually indicated. Substance abuse and the underlying reasons for it are generally a greater concern in these people and should be addressed as aggressively as possible.

4) They're crying out for help, and don't know how else to get it. These people don't usually want to die but do want to alert those around them that something is seriously wrong. They often don't believe they will die, frequently choosing methods they don't think can kill them in order to strike out at someone who's hurt them, but they are sometimes tragically misinformed. The prototypical example of this is a young teenage girl suffering genuine angst because of a relationship, either with a friend, boyfriend, or parent, who swallows a bottle of Tylenol, not realizing that in high enough doses Tylenol causes irreversible liver damage. I've watched more than one teenager die a horrible death in an ICU days after such an ingestion when remorse has already cured them of their desire to die and their true goal of alerting those close to them of their distress has been achieved.

5) They have a philosophical desire to die. The decision to commit suicide for some is based on a reasoned decision, often motivated by the presence of a painful terminal illness from which little to no hope of reprieve exists. These people aren't depressed, psychotic, maudlin, or crying out for help. They're trying to take control of their destiny and alleviate their own suffering, which usually can only be done in death. They often look at their choice to commit suicide as a way to shorten a dying that will happen regardless. In my personal view, if such people are evaluated by a qualified professional who can reliably exclude the other possibilities for why suicide is desired, these people should be allowed to die at their own hands.

6) They've made a mistake. This is a recent, tragic phenomenon in which typically young people flirt with oxygen deprivation for the high it brings and simply go too far. The only defense against this, it seems to me, is education.

The wounds suicide leaves in the lives of those left behind by it are often deep and long lasting. The apparent senselessness of suicide often fuels the most significant pain. Thinking we all deal better with tragedy when we understand its underpinnings, I've offered the preceding paragraphs in hopes that anyone reading this who's been left behind by a suicide might be able to more easily find a way to move on, to relinquish their guilt and anger, and find closure. Despite the abrupt way you may have been left, guilt and anger don't have to be the only two emotions you're doomed to feel about the one who left you

Powerless

So you feel powerless? You feel like you don't know what to do and think you're a failure as a witch. How do we use magick which requires our full sensibilities, willpower, emotional functions such as love, passion, and desire if they are dulled by medication? That is a good question. Is crossed my mind quite a bit. Our Magick is definitely affected.

"Witchcraft is the craft of the wise. Wise people don’t become wise simply because they have acquired some knowledge. They become wise because their knowledge is enhanced through experience. Strong Healers were often inspired through needing healing in the first place. Through our own healing, we can be inspired to heal and without the experience of being a patient we can not fully understand how to healing process can work."

The Pretty Pill

"Drugs often interfere with real magick. The nature of how anti-depressants work is in how they “dull the senses”. It changes the chemical balance in the brain to enhance the mood which often takes away emotional aspects of what we draw from when creating and manifesting from desire. But… So does depression… There are many physical causes of depression that can be managed through other forms of treatments and yes, many of them are holistic. If someone is suicidal or dealing with depression, should they NOT take their anti-depressants? I am not saying that at all. For many, anti-depressants are necessary at least for a while. I am saying there may be another solution to look into as part of the long-term treatment plan."

have too agree with the above from Summer in her article in Witch Digest. Drugs for depression are designed to dull the senses. It's also a teeter-totter in the sense that some cases require the use of anti-depressants. YET, again, not all drugs are designed to dull the senses and sometimes the drugs don't even work

6 Ways to Improve

Balance and Grounding

The mind, body, and spirit work together. When one part is out of balance, it can throw the other parts of us out of whack. That is the theory of finding balance. The art of trying to keep all three aspects in balance at the same time. I believe it takes a lifetime to master and I don’t believe it is actually 100% mastered even by the masters. That is how grounding helps us regain our balance.

Diet

Sometimes the food we eat doesn’t work well with our bodies and throws off the balance of our overall well-being. Finding a diet that works for us through a process of elimination and cleansing to help us feel our best can have positive effects but it may not be the end all solution. That also may include a dietary supplement. Care must be taken when changing one’s diet or adding a supplement. A good example is St. John’s Wort because it is known for being a mood enhancer. The biggest problem with St. John’s Wort is for those with Bipolar it can make things worse and increase the cycling effects of the disease. Not to mention how it works is by changing the levels of serotonin, a chemical in the brain, and so does anti-depressants and the combinations can be dangerous and even life-threatening.

Exercise

Adding exercise to one’s lifestyle can have many health benefits. Exercise is known to increase endorphins that can have a mood enhancing effect. But, we have to be careful not injure ourselves and care must be taken. Exercises that get our bodies in motion are great. I enjoy a dance night where I get up and dance in my living room and have a blast being silly or going for a scenic walk around my neighborhood when safety permits or even walking in the local mall. Chi gong, Tai Chi and even Yoga is said to have positive effects on mood and energy.

Holistic energy healing

Holistic healing techniques such as Reiki for some can make a huge difference as part of the whole healing and recovery process.

Meditation

This can help us regulate our balance and grounding through trying various techniques. These techniques can be found through counseling, learning through teachers or masters and even through internet searches.

Counseling

Most of all, counseling if done with the correct mindset can also add to recovery in the healing process. I have seen people go through years of psychotherapy and never recover and I have seen someone go through just a few sessions or a few years of therapy and do more healing than ever expected. Finding the right type and quality of counselor is necessary. Remembering that a counselor can only guide you on your healing path and the healing process is up to you is a key factor in benefiting from counseling.

Permanently Medicated

If one is permanently medicated or even temporarily, How can a Witch work magick while medicated? Well, there is a way. You have to work around the constraints and only you, the magickal practitioner can discover what that is for yourself. Knowing how your illness works on your overall health, which contains all three of the mind, body, and spirit and how the treatments affect your overall health is a good place to start.

Trial and error is often the only way to figure out which options work best for you.

Conclusion

Healing one aspect of our whole being requires the complimentary healing of each of our three parts; Mind, body, and spirit. At least that is what I believe. For some, medication can actually enhance their well-being and therefore increases their magickal abilities.

[Source 1|https://witchdigest.com/25707/can-depression-affect-my-magick/]

[Source 2|https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/depression/index.shtml]

[Source 3|https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/happiness-in-world/201004/the-six-reasons-people-attempt-suicide%3famp]