#someone get me that outfit I'd rock it and I'd feel so good in it

[dipplinduo]

Oh god... What fresh hell am I now excited for?

I am actually so stoked and I feel so touched that people would get hype with me after my hiatus. 😂

#im a real tough kid #i can handle my shit #wrist splints who #okay but really the transition from TSMWEL to ICDIWABH on the eras tour today??? #ME #that changed me #someone get me that outfit I'd rock it and I'd feel so good in it

[spookysteddie]

That Friday Night

Modern!Rockstar!Eddie Munson x Influencer!fem!reader

read part one here

18+ MINORSDNI

cw: alcohol, drugs (weed and cocaine), clubbing, slight Dom!Eddie if you squint, possessive!Eddie, swearing, pet names, oral (fem!receiving), light choking, unprotected sex, penetrative sex, edging, creampie. (let me know if I missed anything)

wc: 4.3k (I'm so sorry)

a/n: First of all, I want to thank every single person who liked, reblogged or made comments about part one. I was shitting myself posting it because (like I said) this is not an original thought. I'd read a few and it gave me this wave of inspiration. I am very proud of this part. It's also a little long (sorry sorry sorry I couldn't stop) . Also I don't think I'll be doing a tag list? When I used to do that no one on the list would like the fic and it was a lot of work. I hope that is okay? Let me know if you want more! I love and appreciate all of you!

...

You weren’t the type of person who got shy. Your entire job is being in front of a camera, telling people what you like, what you wear, the type of music you listen to. You did brand deals and went on lots of trips with people you didn’t know. Public interaction was easy for you and you definitely enjoyed it. 

But being personally invited to your favorite band's concert (even if you had tickets already) as their frontman's personal guest? It makes you weak in the knees. 

Telling your team about the phone call went about as good as one would expect. Anna and Case frown at you while continuing to say ‘you could’ve let it go to voicemail and we could’ve handled it directly with his people. AND why did you have him send the information directly to you?’

They weren't necessarily wrong in being upset. There were plenty of ways a conversation like that could be twisted and fucked with, especially if, for whatever reason, someone was recording the phone call. It was very easy for them to manipulate and edit that kind of shit, and drama was the last thing you wanted. 

However, the rest of the week went by without an issue. The gossip magazines had moved on to something else (though there were a few who continued to speculate about your non-relationship with Eddie. You did your deals, and kept yourself busy. And by the time Friday rolled around you were hardly nervous. 

Or that’s what you kept telling yourself. 

“Bell bottom star pants. Absolutely,” Hana says from her place on your bathroom counter, practically in the sink. “With that black leather top you love AND the red leather jacket. Oh! Oh! Oh! And the red boots!” 

You put the outfit on, looking in the mirror, “you don’t think it’s too… stereotypical?” 

Hana looks at you through the mirror, “no such thing. You look great.” 

Hana was one of the few people in your life who’d tell you like it is. You could trust her to tell you if her gut feelings were off, or on. She was your best friend and one of the few people who weren’t just here for the exposure. She’s here to be your cheerleader and you were hers. 

“Alright, let's get this going before I change my mind which I am two seconds away from doing.” 

… 

You should’ve changed your mind. 

You can hardly keep from throwing up as you're led by security to a private entrance. To get there you have to pass by their tour buses. All you can hear is loud music and whooping from inside. It’s clear they’re running around in there as the bus is rocking and all you can do is pray they don’t see you. 

You’re far too sober for the interaction you’ll be having at this current time. 

Unfortunately for you, the universe hates you. Just when you think you’re home free, the door opens, almost smacking you in the face. 

“Don’t think you can get away that easy, Asher,” Eddie says as he looks down at you. His pupils are blown wide, clearly from whatever drug he’s consumed. More than likely cocaine and weed. His words aren’t slurred so he isn’t drunk, though he does have a beer bottle in his large hands. 

God his hands, there have been many times where you’d imagine them wrapped around your throat, cutting off air as he fucks you like he hates you. You bet he could reach you even as he’s eating you out, he’s so tall and long. 

You wish you could say the grin you shoot at him is fake, however with the way he’s looking at you, like he wants to devour and smother you, it's not. You feel like a fucking school girl who has a crush. Your heart pounds so fast in your chest and you swear everyone around you can hear it. 

“We weren’t running away,” you say, voice a little breathier than you’d like. “Um this is my best friend-” 

“Hana, nice to meet you,” he cuts you off. It’s then that you see his eyes get wide and you know he’s been stalking your profile. Not that you can say anything because you’ve done it… a lot. “I, uh, saw the instagram story you put up earlier.” 

Hana smirks, “sure you did, big boy.” She pats his chest and is clearly much braver than you. That’s another thing about you and her, if one of you is feeling not confident, the other makes up for it. Like, on your own, asking for ketchup feels like cutting off a limb, but if she can't do it then it's up to you and vice versa. 

Eddie scratches the back of his neck, his black t-shirt stretching over his wide shoulder, “want to join us? We have alcohol!” 

“We would love that. Wouldn’t we?” Hana looks down at you with her brows raised, still taller than you in heels. 

You nod, “yes. Yeah absolutely! Are we allowed to photograph in here?” 

You know it’s a stupid thing to ask, but you also don’t want to take a photo of you and Hana and then not be able to post it. And what if you get photos with the rest of the band? Everyone already knows you’re going to be here. Just not… in this tour bus. 

Eddie nods, holding out his hand, “you are allowed to do whatever you want, pretty girl. And if anyone has an issue, send them my way, yeah?” He kisses the hand you’ve placed in his before leading you up the stairs of his bus. 

It's chaos in there, pure and utter chaos. You turn to look at Hana, silently telling her how insane this is. She nods slightly, but you see the grin on her face. Hana loves this stuff; the parties, the madness, all of it.

Eddie introduces you to the band, pulling you in closer by the waist. “You all need to be on your best behavior. No one touches her. Do you all understand me?” Your heart flutters at how serious he is and it instantly forces his bandmates eyes to fall to your feet. It’s impressive, actually. 

Suddenly, a bottle of beer is in your hands, passed to you by Eddie. “Oh… thank you.” You can hardly look at him as a small smile forms on your lips. His attention makes you feel all kinds of funny inside, your stomach doing flips. You know you have to look at him eventually, but he’s just so pretty that it actually hurts. 

“Um, so are you excited for your show?” This time you manage to actually drag your eyes to his. He smiles at you, his teeth so beautiful and perfect. It’s when he sits down that you realize that was a stupid question. Of course he’s excited. This is his actual job. 

He leans forward, elbows resting on his knees as he looks up at you through his lashes, you could kiss him. But you don’t for obvious reasons. Reasons you can't really think of at the moment. Not when he’s looking at you like that.  The beer bottle hangs in his right hand between his legs. 

“Very. Not much comes close to the feeling I get when we’re on that stage.” He shakes his head, curly hair moving with him, “plus, being able to hear people sing my songs back to me is fucking incredible.” 

His hand finds yours, pulling you a little closer. Eddie is testing the waters, you know this. Unfortunately for you, your brain can’t see through the cloud of lust. So, you let him pull you closer, sit you on his lap, and wrap an arm around you. 

Your brain does catch up, quicker than expected. “It seems like it’d be incredible. I applaud you cause I could never do that. I have stage fright.” 

He blinks up at you, “stage fright? Haven’t you done red carpet interviews and stuff?” 

You shift a little, shrugging, “well yes. But that’s different.” You can't stop the awkward laugh that comes out of you. It was true, it was different. You weren’t exactly sure why but it was. 

Eddie's thumb moves along your side slightly and it leaves goosebumps in its wake. 

“I’m being honest, the lights are so bright that I can’t see everyone in the crowds. Mainly just the front rows. Makes it easier.” 

Eddie puts his beer bottle on the ground by his feet before sitting up and grabbing a joint. He’s quiet as he lights it, puffing out smoke to get it going. “Want some?” 

He holds the joint towards you, waiting for your answer. You’ve done this before at the frat houses at college. You’ve done it here and there in high school as well. This is second nature, but this time you’re nervous. What if you forget how to inhale? What if you throw up? Any number of things can happen. 

Something happens inside you and your brain finally catches up to itself. A small stroke of confidence happens and without taking your eyes off of him, you lean forward, wrapping your lips around the joint and inhaling. His eyes stay locked on yours, his tongue wetting his lips. You pull back, slowly blowing out the smoke. 

“Fuckin’ hell.” It comes out in a whisper and you know he didn’t mean to say it out loud. His eyes falling from your eyes, to your lips and back again. 

God you want to kiss him. His pillowy lips would feel amazing against yours, you just know it. You start to lean into him, desperate to know if you’re right.   

A bang on the door scares the fuck out of the both of you and Eddies boot knocks over his bottle. It’s a good thing he drank most of it, the contents not spilling on the plush carpet. 

“Let’s get going guys. Put your dicks back in your pants, we have a show to do.” You know that voice, that’s their manager. He’s the one who called your people to make sure you had all the rules for this evening. 

Photos are fine. 

Everyone must be tagged. 

Nothing negative. 

Absolutely no photos of any white substances. Even if it’s sugar. 

That last one would be hard considering it was on every flat surface in neat, clean lines. 

You go to stand up, but Eddie stops you, his hand tightening on your hip. “Promise I’ll see ya after?” 

You nod, “y-yeah of course.” 

Before you know it, his lips are on yours. The kiss is soft, sweet and you don’t want it to end. In fact, you totally forget about all the other people in the room. Your hands find his face, pulling him closer as his tongue begs for permission. And once you grant it, it’s game over. 

He tastes like beer and weed and cigarettes and you love it. You want more. You want to get closer. 

But it’s not long before the door to his trailer opens up, his manager stepping into the bus. “I said get your dicks and tongues together. We cannot be late.” 

… 

By the time the show is over you barely have a voice, and you’re sure you’ve never been more turned on in your life. It might seem silly to say, but Eddie's kiss lingered the entire show and all you want is more. 

Back stage the band is still running on adrenaline, drinking water for once to try and refuel for the rest of the night. The rest of the night being a club that they frequent. A club you don’t go to because of that exact reason. 

“Ohhhhh! There's the prettiest girls I’ve ever laid eyes on!” Eddie's voice booms as security goes to double check you and Hana. “Hey! Leave them alone. They’re with me.” 

Security stands back, hands raise like he knows it’ll cause more issues if he doesn’t. You almost feel bad for the poor guy, he was just trying to do his job. Like what if you had a bomb or something? 

“C’mon we gotta get outta here.” He laces his fingers with yours before he pulls you along with him. You look over your shoulder, catching Hana's eyes. 

Go! She mouths, hanging off Gareth's arm. I’ll meet you there! 

And so, you go. Are you nervous? Yes absolutely. Are you going to pretend you aren’t and have some confidence? Yes. Fake it till you make it right?

Eddie opens the door to the car, extending a hand, “ladies first.” 

You grin at him as you elegantly slide into the car, “wow. I didn’t know you were such a gentle man.” This time when you giggle, it's cute and self assured. 

“Yes, I have been told my entire life that I look,” he slides in sucking in a soft, thinking breath, “mean and scary.” 

“You look like a doberman but they’re precious babies.” You mean it too. He looks a little mean and scary, especially in the red lights of the stage. Not to mention the “devil music” (says the media) which can get a little dark. But that’s what makes it great, in your opinion. Plus, he does look like doberman. Like he could probably kill you but would actually not? 

“‘Precious babies?’” 

You nod, “mhm! I grew up with them. Very sweet and love kisses. Oh! And they each had their own comfort toys.” 

“Then maybe I am one because I do love kisses.” He’s closer now, his breath fanning over your face. He still smells like beer and cigarettes mixed in with the smell of his cologne. 

It’s your turn to close the gap and planting your lips on his. The kiss is hotter, more intense. One could argue it’s because of the alcohol swimming in your system that makes you so bold. You’re buzzed, but not drunk. It isn’t long before his hands are in your hair, tugging. It makes you moan in his mouth, opening up to him. 

He sits back, his hands in your hair pulling you with him, making you sit in his lap. Your legs rest on either side of his hips, your cunt nestled right against the bulge in his pants. He couldn’t hide it even if he wanted to. You test the waters by rocking your hips, the friction being so sweet that you’re the one who lets out a moan. 

“God, that is the sweetest sound I’ve ever heard.” He kisses down your neck, nipping and sucking as he goes. “Should record it and use it in our next song.” 

You hum and grin, “I wouldn’t mind that. Always wanted to be in a song. Can’t sing though.”  

He nips at your ear, “that’s my job baby.” 

Eddie's large hand grips your hips, stopping your movements. You want to whine, you want to protest. You were so fucking close. 

“We’ll save that for when we're back at my place.” 

You grin and kiss along his jaw, “who says I’m going back to your place?” 

“The way you were just grindin’ against my cock, angel.” He grins, “also with how you’re lookin’ at me.” 

“And how am I looking at you? Hmm?” 

“Like you want me to fuck you while your brain leaks out your cunt.” 

You shudder at the crudeness of his words. No one has ever spoken to you like that and looked like him. The car stopping in front of the club saves you from trying to come up with an answer. One you know will either be embarrassing or non-existent. 

He looks over at the paparazzi that is waiting and sighs, “are we going in together or…” 

The decision you make is quick. If you’re going to do this, even for one night, you’re going to do it together and let them talk. You give him a quick kiss, “together. Give ‘em something to talk about, yeah?” 

So, you do. 

The second you’re out of the car, cameras flash and photographers call out a mix of your name and his and you can hardly understand what they’re saying. You don’t stop to pose, letting them only photograph you and him walking hand and hand. Give them crumbs as your manager says. Once you’re in the club, not even needing to show an ID or give a name. 

From there the night happens in a blur. The band has the VIP section where bottles of expensive liquor are brought over by women dressed in a bikini. You know how much all of this costs (more than you can afford that’s for sure) but you also know that all of this is on Eddie and the bands tab. He’s told you six times. 

So you drink. And you smoke. And you watch pretty white lines disappear, most of which disappear up Eddie's nose. Of course you take videos, vlogging your night and making sure to follow all the rules that were set prior to this meeting. Taking photos to remember the night. Hana is having a blast, taking shots like it’s her job and making out with Gareth in between. Of course she takes photos with you, sitting in your lap and giggling so much the photos come out blurry. But those are your favorite kinds of photos. 

“Dance with me?” Eddie says in your ear over the music. 

You take the shot that is in your hands, “lead the way.” 

The second you’re surrounded by sweaty bodies you feel invisible. You’re sure someone has cameras on you and him but at the moment you don’t care. 

Your hips move to the music, back against Eddie's chest while his hands explore your body. His lips move against your neck, sucking a dark mark into it that you know you’ll struggle to cover later. Again, you don’t care. What you do care about is the hardness that you feel against your back. 

You spin around, grinning up at him. God he’s so fucking tall you have to tilt your head up a good bit to look at him. 

“We should get out of here,” you say as he pulls you into him. 

He smirks, “thought you weren’t coming back to my place sweetheart.” 

“Seems I told a fib. Now, I need you to take me home and fuck me like you hate me.” 

It’s all he needs before he’s grabbing you by the hand and pulling you out of the club. The car is there and he quickly pulls you into the back seat. Once those doors are closed, the window tint so dark you couldn’t see inside if you tried, his mouth his on yours. Your stomach flips and the neediness you feel coming off of him. He pulls you till you’re straddling him, legs on either side of his hips. Not really the safest but at this point, all you need is his lips on you. 

The ride to Eddie’s consists of lots of kissing, so much so that you know your lips are swollen. You don’t get to see much of Eddie’s house, too focused on getting inside the house and into his bedroom. He drags you up the stairs, your hand is his. And once you’re in his room, he has you pressed up against his bedroom door. 

“You’re so fucking hot, baby.” Eddie pushes your jacket off your shoulders while he speaks, his words going straight to your clit. Your mind can barely comprehend that Eddie Munson, the man you’ve had a crush on since they were considered an ‘underground band,’ is currently taking off your clothes. 

You do the same to him, pushing his leather jacket to the ground before tugging at the ends of his shirt and pulling it over his head. “Me? You are so beautiful.” 

He hums, popping the button on your jeans, “should we take a poll on who's prettier? Winner takes the loser on a date?” 

That makes you laugh, “sounds like a deal. But first, you need to fuck me.” 

His eyes nearly go black at that and before you can think, he’s throwing you on this bed. You land with a small oomph. You decide to take a little initiative, pulling off your boots, scooting off your pants and pulling off your top. 

Eddie watches, rapt and almost possessed, his eyes scanning your partially naked body. It’s not anything more than someone would see if you posted in a bathing suit, but you can’t help but feel nervous that he isn’t going to like you. 

He quickly puts those fears (fears he knows nothing about) to rest as he settles between your legs. His eyes don’t leave yours as he kisses up your thighs. You know there is a wet patch on your underwear and you know he can see it. You do feel embarrassed about it, but at the same time, Eddie is slightly rutting against the bed so he must like it. Right? 

You can feel your body heat as he gets closer and closer to your center. 

“Eddie, please don’t tease me.” Never have you begged a man. Typically whoever you were in bed with did the begging, much to your dislike. You were desperate for someone to take charge. Now you know why they didn’t. One bruise and they get shit from all your followers. Even if you tell them to leave these men alone. 

But Eddie? He wasn’t afraid. 

“But it’s so much fun to watch you squirm.” 

You huff, squirming exactly like he said as he sits up to pull your underwear down your legs before setting back between them. “Need you to touch me.” 

He licks a stripe up your slit, sucking on your clit as he gets to the top. The sound that falls from your lips is beautiful, sweeter than the sound you made in the car. Now Eddie really wants to put you in a song, but the jealous, primal side of him never wants someone else to be able to hear your moans. 

In fact, he doesn’t want to think about any of the other men who’ve heard you make these sounds. Murder wasn't really on his list of things he enjoyed. Bar fights? Yes. Murder? No. 

“You make the prettiest sounds, sweetheart. S’very hot.”  He slides two fingers inside you with little resistance, curling them up to hit the spongy spot inside you. The stretch feels good, your hips moving on their own, riding Eddie's fingers. 

You're close, the build up of this moment really getting closer than you originally thought. “Squeezin’ my fingers so tight, baby. Are you close?” 

You nod, afraid if you speak you’ll say something ridiculous. 

But that isn’t good enough for Eddie. “Words.” 

“V-very.” 

That was clearly the wrong thing to say because he pulls his fingers from inside you, the emptiness making you gasp, “no! No, no, no I was so close!” 

He laughs as he pushes his pants and boxers off his body. “Exactly. Want you to cum with my cock inside you.” 

You look down between your bodies and your eyes widen. He was big and you accidentally voice what you’re thinking, “fuck… not gonna fit.” 

His laugh drags your eyes back to him, his cock moving through your slick and bumping your clit. “Baby you are so wet that I have no doubt it’ll fit.”  

You don’t have time to be embarrassed about it because Eddie is pushing inside you. The size of him stretching you makes you feel like he’s going to split you in half. But you don’t care, the burn just turns you on more and more and before you know it he’s seated inside you fully. 

“Fuck, Eddie.” 

Eddie is panting, trying to keep still so he doesn’t cum before he wants to. “Feel so fuckin’ good, sweetheart. A man could become obsessed with this pussy.” 

He moves right as you begin to speak, nearly knocking the air out of your lungs. He feels like he’s everywhere. “W-witchcraft” 

He fucks you harder, his cock hitting your cervix. You’re definitely going to have a bruise there but it's so worth it. 

“Didn’t know you were into dark shit. S’my schtick.” 

You wrap your legs around him, orgasm building again, “more alike than you originally thought huh?” 

He wraps a tattooed hand around your throat, squeezing gently and making your head spin, “oh, angel, I knew how alike we were the second you told everyone how bad you wanted to fuck me.” 

“C-can you blame me? Knew you’d fuck me just h-how I like.” 

You clench around him making him hiss, “yeah you need someone who will take control huh?” 

The hand around your neck slides down your body till he finds your clit, circling it. 

“Oh god! Please.” 

“I can get used to you prayin’ to me.” His thrusts are losing rhythm (something he’s usually very good at keeping) and you know he’s close. “Cum baby. I need it.” 

And it’s all you need to fall over the cliff and into bliss. He follows you, coming inside you while you squeeze around him. You both moan each other's names and you sigh as you come down. 

Eddie breaks the silence first, “that was… amazing.” 

You hum in agreement as he slides out of you and curls up beside you. You take a moment before getting up and cleaning up in the bathroom. When you come back Eddie has left out an old Corroded Coffin t-shirt and some boxers. And once they’re on, you slide back into his bed, laying your head on his chest.

“We should put that poll up, huh? I’m itching to win this bet.” Eddie laughs as he says it and before you know it, you two are finding a photo the both of you like and posting it on your story with the caption, ‘which one is prettier? Honesty is the best policy.’ 

“And now… we wait.”

#stranger things #stranger things fic #eddie munson #eddie munson fic #eddie munson x fem!reader #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson smut #eddie munson imagine #Eddie Munson x you #eddie munson fanfic #modern!rockerstar!eddie munson x influencer!fem!reader #rockstar!eddie x fem!reader

[strangelock221b]

S3E3 (spoilers abound)

I knew that was a dream, it was too romantic. But good, Colin needs a wet dream or two about Pen. It's sad that it takes this to get him to realize he's attracted to her but hey, whatever works.

So Gregory didn't break his arm from being in the balloon like everybody guessed, interesting. Still chaotic, but not in the same way.

Colin, please, promise me you'll never play poker -- you couldn't bluff convincingly if your life depended on it. I'm glad Hyacinth is supportive of Pen, even if Eloise isn't.

"Must be rich, must be handsome, and he must be of high rank." John Stirling is an earl, one of the upper ranks of the nobility. Just saying...

Philippa really is dim. Let's hope that in her and Prudence's case, intelligence skipped a generation and any kids they have inherit Portia's brain. She's not perfect but she's leagues smarter than those two.

Mrs. Varley says Pen has a visitor and I assume it's Colin or Debling. It's El and my response? An out loud "What the fuck?"

Oh, El. She's maturing (slowly) but she's not ready for them to be friends again yet. Maybe by the end of E4? And can I just say that I LOVE that blue dress Eloise has on? She looks lovely AND SHE HAS HER FLOWERS BACK! So, the show's costume designer was holding back her flowers until she became more herself, got it.

Pen in a park and everyone's talking about her. Ugh. Honey, none of them are worthy of you. Take note of who's talking down about you now and when you're on top, see which of them kisses your ass. They're the ones to avoid like the plague.

God, I love weeping willows, they're like natural gazebos. And this one is HUGE.

Sorry, Pen, but the tulle in your hair looks stupid. It looks too much like you accidently left a curling rag in.

So now they're both nervous, so cute. Colin's world has been rocked to its foundations and he needs to find his footing all over again.

So, Debling is a vegetarian and a naturalist. He seems to prefer animals to people. Considering the ton, I can't say I blame him. Lady Cowper is threating to arrange a marriage for Cressida if she doesn't get married this season. No unconditional love there, that's for sure. Cressida, get yourself a husband whose estate is far from your father's and tell your parents the roads are bad, so they can never visit. That should keep contact with them restricted to letters and the Season.

I really hope this earl who just introduced himself to Francesca isn't John.

God, I love Alice. She's a sweeter person than the ton deserves. She's right about Colin being gallant, too bad he's only just starting to realize how badly he messed up.

Debling uses odd animal metaphors and his humor is a little whack but I like the guy. As long as he's honest about why he wants a wife, I'll support him. He's cute too. Beards were unfashionable during this era, so it's another sign that he doesn't care about what other people think.

Aww, Cressida. Yeah, your family doesn't support you at all. I'd ship her with Debling if they weren't so obviously wrong for each other. She does need a good man to marry her but I don't think she'll find him this season.

Oh, Colin, you are so far gone for Pen. Do something about soon, please, before you lose her forever.

I do not like Eloise's outfit. It looks like a modern business suit with an extra-long skirt.

I take it back, I think I do ship Debling and Cressida, but if what he's after is just someone to watch his estate while he's gone, I think she can do better. Still, isolation might be what she wants, who knows?

Eloise is third- and fourth-wheeling. I'd feel sorry for her but hell, she deserves this.

I just had to look it up -- yeah, "marriage whisperer" is a phrase that could have been used back then since "horse whisperer" was a phrase that was already in use. Still, it sounds too modern.

So, Lord Samadani's a marquess, not an earl. Is his first name John? Does he have a first cousin named Michael?

Debling, you're the one who insisted on this three-way conversation, figure out how to end it politely. Colin is so jealous. Do something about it.

Prudence's husband really is dim. She married him for his looks, didn't she?

Rescues all around. Debling's going to have to make his decision soon, this is getting ridiculous.

Another ball. A handsome man gives Violet her accidentally dropped glove. I assume this is the "unwanted" visitor Agatha was complaining about. Blood relative? Widowed in-law? He's the right age bracket for Violet, so that's good.

Cressida looks ridiculous and miserable. I have to wonder whose idea these gowns are -- hers? Her mother's? The modiste's? Whoever, they have no idea what they are doing. This one looks more like modern haute couture, and ugly haute couture at that.

Pen and Cressida in a literal race to Debling, good lord.

Okay, so Samadani is apparently not John. Good, he doesn't understand what Francesca's after.

BROTHER?! Interesting. He's hot. I love his voice and his thoughts on having grown children. Wow, if this is Violet's "gardener," she'll be fucking the brother of the woman who fucked her father. England really is a small country.

Who took a bunch of spoon handles and put them in Agatha's hair?

Agatha is in her own personal hell, I love it.

Is THIS John? He's not Scottish, going by what little he's said. Disappointing, but not the end of the world. Loves the quiet, understands that people need quiet, he's perfect for Frannie.

Shonda, Shonda, Shonda. Yes, a Lady can be a married woman HOWEVER, the daughters of dukes, marquesses, and earls are also addressed as Lady, so Benedict assuming Tilley is married is wrong.

This dance Tilley and Benedict are dancing looks like a cross between a waltz and a tango. I'm sure the choreographer was told to just give them whatever moves look best on camera.

Cressida really looks like she's going to cry. Ugh. I don't want her to suffer her book counterpart's fate.

Colin looks like he's about to kiss Pen in the middle of a crowded ballroom then in comes Debling to steal her away for a dance. Colin, please, move faster next time.

#bridgerton #bridgerton spoilers #bridgerton s3 spoilers #colin bridgerton #penelope featherington #polin #eloise bridgerton #cressida cowper

[smile-files]

rant alert!!!!!!!!!!!

something that's been really bothering me lately is how capitalism is hardcore exploiting our generation's desire to explore/create identity

like aesthetic culture is nice on paper but in practice it just means buying a butt load of stuff that we don't need. like, say i like cottagecore, and by extension the strawberry shortcake franchise. it isn't enough for me to just say i like them aesthetically, or whatever -- i have to buy clothes and merchandise or what have you for that part of my identity to feel tangible. i need to be able to embody this aesthetic in every part of my being for it to feel real

and i've interacted with enough brand instagram accounts (such as the strawberry shortcake instagram) to know that companies are all over creating aesthetic, nostalgic nonsense to sell to us, knowing we'll buy anything cutesy that panders to us and the things we like. and we can't help but feed into it. and they act all relatable and gen-z-core too which doesn't help

consumerism drives me nuts, all the more so because i actively partake in it. i love collecting stuff, especially stuffed animals, but adding to the collection with new items involves spending money on a bunch of plastic and polyester things that take up space and will end up in a landfill someday. like, sure, i like them, and people know for sure that i love stuffed animals when they know i have over 100 of them and keep buying them, but if i'm being completely honest i don't get as much out of them as i'd like to think i do. i'm considering making a photo/drawing catalog of all of the plushies i have now and donating the ones who'd do better in a different home! the same applies to all of the toys i have as well

when i was little i used to collect rocks and sticks and pine cones... things in nature that are just as cool and give me just as much joy as my stuffed animals and toys but a) don't take up a huge amount of space b) don't cost money c) don't hurt the environment and d) don't feed into the capitalist, consumerist black hole that's quickly eating us all

honestly... and this might be a hot take... but the whole concept of "aesthetics" that's been on the internet in recent years that has compelled ourselves to shape our wardrobes and possessions in favor of a pretty, inhuman ideal that supposedly affirms our identities is likely just a project by Big Consumerism to get us to buy more stuff that we think makes us feel more like ourselves. like yeah we all deserve to have our own style and our own tastes but that should not necessitate buying 15 billion new outfits from your local target to prove to yourself or anyone else that it's your style and tastes. buying a dropshipped mushroom nightlight off of amazon does not make you any more of a cottagecore girly than someone who doesn't. we shouldn't all be trying to fool each other over instagram reels that we all perfectly fit this aesthetic with our cool clothes and knickknacks and random decorations and be constantly jealous of each other

and it all just feeds into fast fashion and non-sustainably-made products and all that... like if companies know we'd buy anything that fits our aesthetic they'll throw out any notion of making lasting goods that aren't made of plastic and garbage and the blood of innocent baby animals or whatever. we keep eating it up. and we keep buying more and more of it to create an every-expanding hoard of objects that supposedly reflect every facet of our soul

(and i know it's the companies' fault at the end of the day! but i do think we, as individuals, have to think about how we happily succumb to it!)

i'm starting to think that my happiest life would be one lived with a small handful of cool clothes (as it is, most of the clothes i find cool are old ones my aunt sends me or ones i thrift), a small handful of stuffed animals i have a genuine love for (e.g. barry, any homemade plushie), and a gargantuan collection of nature stuff like rocks and sticks and pine cones. i can't help wanting to collect -- i'm like a dragon! but what i can help is what i choose to collect, what system i choose to feed into. i have a huge love for stuffed animals, but if anything, i'm doing a disservice to them and my appreciation for them by repeatedly buying new, low quality ones which i ultimately don't care much about -- and having fewer of them by no means diminishes how much they mean to me. one should not judge a fan by the amount of merchandise they've bought, after all

we are trying to live vicariously through our stuff, which isn't surprising given the hellish socioeconomic landscape, but it only makes us languish and look at devices all day and buy useless stuff and not try to make our lives actually good. this is what capitalism wants!!! augh!!!!

also... folks can't buy sustainable stuff because it often costs more and is less widely sold. but whose fault is that? capitalism!!!!! they could make wool cheaper than polyester for all they cared!!!!!!! they could get rid of money altogether!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i don't really know what i want to say in all of this... but i care about nature and i care about being genuinely happy and digging my own grave in an aesthetic landfill does nothing for that

#melonposting #long post #as a side note i do still want to have items pertaining to things i enjoy #but if i really do want to do that i think i'd benefit from making homemade plushies out of cotton fabric and wool stuffing and wood button #or crochet with wool yarn #or needle-felting with wool #at least if i'd still be filling my space with aesthetic nonsense it wouldn't kill the planet... lol #oh yeah i would not mind being a farmer i don't think. i'd love taking care of sheep #i could sell some wool and keep the rest for my own projects :) #all the while i get to spend time with animals and nature... #and get dirty in the dirt! and work my muscles!! yaaah

[divorcedwife]

your art is gorgeous and deserves all the notes in the world. i love all of your fashion and outfit designs and the way you draw poses and facial expressions is always so perfect. don’t let the internet fool you into thinking more numbers means more liked. i think your art is some of the most beautiful art i have ever seen

oh thank you!! i definitely think you're right that it's good to face what we want and that there's no shame in wanting attention. i've been trying to not be so ashamed of everything in general because i've realized that most people deal with that too, and that being at ease with myself helps people be at ease with me too

but in general, i am very happy with the amount of attention and kind words i get, and i definitely agree that more numbers =/= more joy. i used to chase certain milestones and think that i would reach a point where i'd be content and satisfied, and reaching a milestone is cool but it's still just numbers. ultimately, it means more to me to get thoughtful feedback, or when an artist i respect likes it, or to see the same people stick around for months and years :-) i do notice that & i love to see it

and not to be mean, but i also really don't vibe with how some people i follow on instagram, that are popular artists, act very demanding of their audience's attention and money. i don't think following someone online means you pledge your eternal loyalty to them, and i never would want people to think that if they scroll by an art piece of mine without interacting, or just liking, it's a deep betrayal lol. it's fine! ultimately, my feelings are mine to deal with, and it's not on anyone else to provide validation to me at all times. i really don't want anyone to feel guilty for that

like people are not entitled to free labor from artists, but artists are also not entitled to a "fandom". i remember being really not impressed back on deviantart with how popular artists talked to their followers and tbh i think some people are rude to feel more like rock stars. it's not cute.... i don't like it... i feel like the respect has to go both ways

also im kinda glass half full-ing my way through life - if something doesn't work out, i'm like well, this is a good way to practice failure and emotion control. can't go through life with everything going smoothly at all times, that's just how it is. i cant control what happens, only what i do about it. if i post something and it doesn't work as well as i thought, oh well, it's ok, i'm learning to detach value from notes, i'm going to be just like the buddha very soon

god this is so long. im sorry, i have so many thoughts re : being an artist online and handling metrics and so on. the TLDR : i really love being there on tumblr dot com and i feel really lucky that so many people like my art, like my original characters, and it's a pleasure to be there :-) thank you again!! <3333

#anon #answered

[stars-n-spice]

Ask game! 6, 20, 30, 38 pls 🌑

Of course! Thank you for sending the ask :D

6: Which Batcher would you want to be your coworker at your irl job?

I am unfortunately unemployed,, lmao. Technically a full-time student and a housemaid so if we're going off that then I would say I'd want Echo to be my 'coworker' because I think he'd be more than willing to give a helping hand (or scomp, lol) when and if I should need it. But if we're talking like what I hope to be doing in the future which is whatever thing that has to do with screenwriting, teaching, or creative writing; I'm going with Tech. I think Tech and I would get along very well because we're both on the spectrum and we could just like parallel play and be cool with just that.

20: Which Batcher has the 'weirdest' taste in music?

Unrelated note, Echo is a k-pop fan and I'll die on this hill (and he's a Broadway fan). I think the person who has the 'weirdest' taste in music is probably Tech and I say 'weirdest' in the sense that he will listen to whatever genre. He simply does not care. You shuffle his liked songs and you feel like you're having a stroke. It's a mix of old dad rock that Hunter and Wrecker enjoy, it's the punk and emo shit Crosshair listens to, there's some old/first-gen K-pop in there, he listens to Los Panchos and Vicente Fernández. County? Sure, why not? He's a big fan of Beyoncé. He knows all the words to Rap God. He listens to Broadway songs and game OSTs. Omega makes him listen to those fan songs of video games. Catch him crying and listening to Mitski at 3 am in the morning. I could go on and on.

30: Tell me a random headcannon you have about Omega.

A random headcanon I have about Omega is that she has a good night routine. Like the book "Goodnight Moon" before she hits the hay she says goodnight to anything and everything. Of course she starts out with her brothers–"Good night Hunter. Good night Echo. Good night Tech. Good night Wrecker."–Then she goes on her personal items and Gonky–"Good night Lula. Good night trooper. Good night Gonky."–Then the ship and surrounding things–"Good night Marauder. Good night stars. Good night planets."–and then when everything is said and done and everything is silent she'll stare out into space and whisper, "Good night Crosshair."

38: What color do you associate with each Batcher?

Ooh, this is a fun one! Honestly, my answers are super basic, but eh. For Hunter, it's red, mainly because he's the squad leader and one of the main colors of the squad is red so automatically he gets that. While he does look good in teal, I think red's his color. For Echo it's a deep blue, mainly because of his time spent with the 501st but also because it's a calming color and Echo is just someone you'd want to be around to feel calm and safe. For Wrecker it's yellow; the color I associate with any positive/bubbly character for obvious reasons, but also it's my sister's favorite color and she's the sweetest person ever so I think it's a fitting color. It's a warm color and I'm sure he gives warm hugs <3 For Tech it's oranges/browns. Typically I tend to associate purple with 'smart' characters because of Donatello from TMNT, but orange/brown is just a more fitting color for Tech and I can't really describe why. Maybe it's the s2 armor? For Crosshair it's green because of his Imperial armor and I guess also because it symbolizes growth? In a sense? Also it's not one of my favorite colors, lol. For Omega, I associate her with teal colors. Something like the ones on her outfit from S1 but also because I love her so much and teal is my favorite color as well.

Here is the ask list if ya'll want to send me more asks ^^

#tbb ask game #ask game #tbb #tbb hunter #tbb wrecker #tbb echo #tbb tech #tbb crosshair #tbb omega

[rosalind-hawkins]

Yay, my first ever ask to someone!

Because I know you love him as much as I do, I'm sure you'll probably won't even have to think very long about the answers: Of course, I'm choosing Duke for the character ask game :D I'd be very much interested in 4, 9, 10, 11, 21, 22, 24 – but of course, choose wichever ones you like or make it everything <3 And for the freebie question a little headcanon: What would be a typical phrase you imagine him saying all the time?

OMG Honored to be your first! <3 <3 <3 And you're right, I always love talking about Duke. Sincerely shocked how little attention he gets overall. And as predicted, I answered way more questions than you asked lol. Enjoy!

3. Least favorite canon thing about this character?

The cheerleaders. I just, oh boy, wow. Please tell me those girls put those uniforms on themselves and he didn't ask them to. That would be so cringe. >.<

4. If you could put this character in any other media, be it a book, a movie, anything, what would you put them in?

So, his English VA, Marc Thompson, does the audiobooks for the Star Wars "Fate of the Jedi" book series that my husband and I are listening to, so I find myself frequently picturing Duke in Star Wars outfits during my Duke Devlin Star Wars Storytime. XD

5. What's the first song that comes to mind when you think about them?

Cherry Pie by Warrant, cause I imagine him jamming out to it in his classic car. See also Question 12.

7. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you like?

Fandom doesn't do enough with him for me to have an answer to this question, but I have seen people giving him new outfits, which I adore. Yes, dress this boy up, he loves it!

8. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you despise?

Yes, I appreciate the YGOTAS theme song jokes as much as the next dude, but if you try to find Duke scenes on Youtube, that's all you can find. :(

9. Could you be roommates with this character?

Absolutely. I headcanon that he's really tidy with his personal space, and we could take turns making dinner (thank you Season Four for telling us that he's a good cook).

10. Could you be best friends with this character?

Quite possibly, yeah. I have some creative indie side projects of my own, and I feel like he'd have good feedback if I needed another set of eyes on some new character designs or plot-points. I will also be hitting him up for haircare tips all the time lol.

11. Would you date this character?

If I weren't married and I had a chance, absolutely yes. Don't know if it would work out long-term, but it would be fun.

12. What's a headcanon you have for this character?

I headcanon that he's a big Adam Lambert fan and sings his music in the shower (and everywhere else he sings). Try listening to the Adam Lambert cover of Holding Out For A Hero and try telling me it doesn't have Duke-like levels of drama and flare, I dare you. Other AL songs I think he'd specifically jam to are Fever, Strut, The Light, and Pop That Lock. I don't always have headcanons for a character's taste in music, but I just get really strong vibes on what he's into. I also think he'd listen to a lot of classic rock.

Another few songs that will go on my Duke playlist when I get around to making it: You Put A Spell On Me and Dangerous Hands both by Austin Giorgio, Fangs by Neoni, 100 degrees by Kenzie, basically everything by Steven Rodriguez (there's not a lot, but it's all so sexy), and Play With Fire by Sam Tinnesz ft. Yacht Money.

Okay, I admit defeat, Duke Devlin Playlist Post coming soon. (Songs he listens to, not songs about him.)

15. What's your favorite ship for this character? (Doesn't matter if it's canon or not.)

I'm not going to pick just one, I can't, but I'll give you my top ships: Mastershipping (Kaiba), Minorshipping (Ryou), Snareshipping (Joey). Poly ships: Mumbleshipping (Kaiba + Ryou), Rollshipping (Joey + Ryou), and Petshipping (Kaiba + Joey). Okay, that's just... all my Duke ships. XD But they're all so good!

I'm intrigued by the idea of Ishizu x Duke, which doesn't have a name. I'm not sure they really know what to make of each other, but I think that keeps them intrigued with each other. I think a first date with them, or even just a flirting scene, could be real fun. She's serious and scholarly, he's fun and free-spirited. They could balance each other.

16. What's your least favorite ship for this character?

Him and Tristan, Chaseshipping I think. I think they could be friends just fine, I just don't see the chemistry there.

20. Which other character is the ideal best friend for this character, the amount of screentime they share doesn't matter?

I'm leaving out ship characters for the sake of this question.

I actually think he and Mai could be really good pals, they'd go shopping and talk about bfs/gfs and have a good time. They also both own convertibles, so you know they have some of the same tastes.

21. If you're a fic writer and have written for this character, what's your favorite thing to do when you're writing for this character? What's something you don't like?

One thing that's always fun for me is Duke's flirting. Can't say I'm a master of writing flirtation, but I do my best to make Duke look like a master of it, because he is. I do generally just love writing him so much, though. He's one of the least angsty characters that I write, so he always puts me in a happier headspace.

In my fic Rock Bottom, he's a solid friend to Seto without being too nosy, which Seto appreciates so much. They understand each other on an intellectual level, but even after Seto's like "no thanks" to a relationship, Duke makes it clear that he's always free to change his mind in a no-pressure way. He's supportive but not nosy. I've got a chapter coming up (spoilers) in RB Season Three where Seto just needs somewhere to chill and lay low, hide from reality, and Duke's like, "I won't say a word to anyone that you're here, it's fine, no explanation needed, just take a deep breath pal." Doesn't ask what's going on, just takes him in for the night. (Also negotiates him into cuddles, but that's separate lol.)

He's just there for people, doesn't need answers (unless things are bad enough that some kind of involvement is just necessary).

22. If you're a fic reader, what's something you like in fics when it comes to this character? Something you don't like?

I like when people fill out the details of him balancing his responsibilities between his game shop and managing DDM, or flesh out his relationship with Pegasus even if it's not central to the story. There's just so much more to this boy that we don't get to see, and that stuff just feels like such a necessary backdrop to the rest of his life.

23. Favorite picture(s) of this character?

DSOD did this boy right. He's just so pretty. :')

But also, look at this boy pretending to read while he eavesdrops. And he set up that hammock so dang high off the ground? Looking down on everybody? No, boy has the high ground, tactical advantage. I love him.

And wait, what's that? The most Mastershipping moment in the entire anime, you say? Show me!

Oh. Oh dear. ;P But, for so many reasons, I'll genuinely never get over this scene.

24. What other character from another fandom of yours that reminds you of them?

I'm gonna try to stick to canon behaviors and traits for this and not let headcanons influence it too much.

ZEN/Hyun Ryu from Mystic Messenger has the same "I'm pretty and I know it" vibe as Duke and shares the casual-but-constant flirting behavior (also ponytail bros). This is a fun comparison for me because their hair and eye colors are also exact opposites.

From Nanbaka, I'd have to go with Uno, who can be abrasive at times with his enemies/rivals, doesn't let his friends fight alone, and shares the "ladies love me, I know I'm pretty, look at how well I take care of my luscious long hair" confident attitude. Also like Duke, there's a good few times where a friend is doing something/rash or unwise, and he tries to talk reason to them. Also obsessed with games, so they have that hobby in common. He also compulsively flirts with every woman in the vicinity (except the warden, because she's terrifying and he knows better). Real smooth operator, even with the dudes.

From UtaPri, I'd have to go with Ren Jinguji. Look, they're even hammock bros! Exceptionally confident, but also a bit mysterious. Flirty with the ladies, not that he even needs to try that hard. Actually pretty laid back and down to earth most of the time.

He also just moves the way I imagine Duke moving, with that fluid grace of a man's who's totally comfortable in his own skin. Just look at him!!!! LOOK AT THE HIP! *chefs kiss*

Another thing all these boys have in common is a strong fashion sense in addition to a strong sense of showmanship (ZEN as an actor and Ren as an idol, this is obvious, but Uno just can't help showing off lol), two great traits that Duke also has.

26. FREEBIE QUESTION!!

Honestly, I can imagine him using "yo" a lot, not exactly a phrase, but a slang term. If anyone tells him something like "that's not cool anymore" he just responds with "it is when I say it ;)"

If we're leaning into my headcanons of him as a good cook, maybe he sometimes uses "now we're cooking with gas!" He probably has to explain this to Tristan and/or Joey, which launches him into the discussion of gas vs electric stoves. He's a strong believer in gas stoves being superior. I wouldn't say he's a snob when it comes to cooking, but there's certain things in the kitchen that he has a strong opinion on.

Bonus Headcanon

Duke Devlin's top Halloween Costumes: some kind of imp/demon/devil (let your imagination run wild with this one, because he definitely did), one of his Monster World OCs, the Phantom of the Opera, vampire, ninja.

#ask #answered ask #headcanon #duke devlin #ryuji otogi #otogi ryuji #song recommendation #musings #long post #thank you again for letting me talk about him more #i love him so much #i do recommend the “Fate of the Jedi” series to any Star Wars fans #it's good old canon stuff #theduchessofboredom

[gracebutnotgraceful]

Ted Lasso ask!

I'd really love to read like a jealous!Ted fic... Where reader and Ted are already in a relationship and reader is just genuinely being funny and witty while talking to someone and notices ted being annoyed with the person reader is talking to so now just to mess with ted a little reader becomes flirtatious with that person or something like that I'm not good at writing that's why the ask lol

But yeah something like that, all in good fun by the end

anon, i am so terribly sorry this took so long! i'm just getting settled after moving and was struggling a bit with being motivated to write. i changed it up just a little to fit the story better, but i hope you like it!

Fake It 'Til You Make It - ted lasso

pairing: ted lasso x gn!reader, established relationship

warnings: jealousy, arguments (happy ending!)

word count: 869

summary: you decide to fake some confidence at the gala, but the interactions you have with some of the players cause a bit of a misunderstanding between you and ted. 

At this point, you’re used to the press that comes with being involved with Ted. You’ve been through the random (incredibly unflattering) photographs of you being blasted on the internet. You’ve endured the strangers coming up to talk—or yell, depending on how the last game went— to Ted while you’re just out and about. Yet the charity gala still manages to make you sweat. You were hoping the third time ‘round will be less anxiety-inducing, but it’s immediately clear that that’s just not the case. 

The camera flashes feel blinding and somehow your outfit that fit perfectly twenty minutes ago suddenly feels like it’s suffocating you. You feel an arm snake around your shoulder, and you relax a bit, taking a deep breath.

“You alright? Your paler than Colin’s ass,” The person says. You tense back up; that was not Ted’s voice. You glance at them to confirm your suspicions.  It’s Jamie. 

“I’m fine. This just always makes me nervous.” You respond with a small smile. “I don’t know how you all do it.”

“You’re doing fine. Fake it ’til you make it, yeah?” He responds, clapping your shoulder and walking into the building. 

“Yeah,” you say, more to yourself than anyone else. Fake it ’til you make it. You shake out your shoulders and stand a little straighter before following Jamie towards the doors.

—

It’s calmer inside. You’re calmer inside. The lights are dim. People talk quietly amongst themselves as they listen to the musical guest before the auction begins. You’re sitting at a table with Keeley, Roy, Jamie, and Isaac. Ted and Beard had gone with Rebecca to thank some of the donors; Colin and Sam filled their empty seats. 

“Ow!” Jamie yelped, interrupting Keeley’s story about the latest client she was representing. 

Everyone looked over to see him looking down at his chest where hot soup was slowly trickling down. He must’ve missed his mouth. You unwrap your napkin, reaching over to wipe the soup off of him. 

“You know, Jamie,” you began, “this could easily be mitigated if you just wore a shirt to these things.” 

“Then people wouldn’t get to see what they’re bidding on,” He groaned. “Besides, you seem to be enjoying cleaning me up.” He smirked. You felt your face grow hot. 

“Oh, shut up,” you responded, smacking at his chest. “Oh my god, your chest is hard as a rock.”

“Damn! Coach, you better get back over here before Tart steals Y/N away!” Isaac calls to Ted jokingly. You lock eyes with Ted across the way. He’s no longer talking with donors, just Rebecca as they prepare to start the auction. He purses his lips and looks away, not looking very happy. You feel the anxiety from earlier bubbling up in your chest again, but you take a deep breath and swallow it down. Fake it ’til you make it.

“You jealous?” You ask, giving him a wink. He sputters something nonsensical at your comment as  a hush falls over everyone. The auction is starting. 

—

Most of the guests had gone at this point. Staff were clearing tables, the musicians were tearing down their equipment. You were waiting for Ted to finish up with one more conversation. After scrolling on your phone for a couple of minutes, you felt him sidle up to you. 

“Hey, you ready?” you ask with a smile, locking your phone and putting it away. 

“Yeah, let’s go,” he responded, leading you towards the exit.

The first few minutes of the ride were quiet. Too quiet. You felt like your little scene with Jamie and Isaac might have actually upset him.

“Is everything okay?” You ask. “It feels kind of tense in here.”

“Everything’s alright with me, Bruce Lee. Just didn’t know you were so close with some of the players.” He cuts a glance your way.

“…Is this about Jamie? Because we weren’t actually flirting.” You responded. 

“Just feeling his muscles for fun then?” He answered back kind of snappily. Okay, yeah, everything was clearly not fine. You knew Ted was a little upset earlier, but jealousy? Ted never had been much of the jealous type. You tried to stay level, not wanting to escalate the situation. Ted’s reaction was understandable; he had context. You hadn’t done anything wrong, though. Don’t panic, just explain. Fake it ’til you make it. 

“What? No, he spilled soup all over himself. And when he and Isaac joked about me enjoying wiping him up I hit him.” You explained. “Jamie Tart is far from my type, if you didn’t know.” You heard Ted sigh. 

“Oh yeah?” Ted asked, his mood already seeming lighter than before. “What is your type?” 

“Hmm, I’ve been into men with mustaches recently.” You answer, snaking your hand over to brush his jaw. “And players? Pfft. Why have that when you could have a coach?” 

“You know, I think I know the perfect guy,” he says with a smile as he puts the car in park.

“Yeah?” You smirk, leaning over to kiss him.

“Yeah,” he whispers, his breath hot on your face as he leans in. 

The kiss is sweet, understanding. Not tainted with the jealousy that you’d felt just moments before. 

#ted lasso x reader #ted lasso x you #ted lasso imagine #ted lasso #grace writes!!! #requested

[mythicmin]

Hey! Could I get a matchup please? I'd like it to be a bit smutty plz <3

I'm an autistic queer guy who uses any pronouns and who has a preference for dudes! My personality varies on how I interact with certain people. I shut off around people who I don't click with but my true personality comes out the moment I start to like someone. I love to joke around and blab out whatever thoughts bump around in my brain. I'm a dedicated collector of all things weird and obscure. I get irritated real easy so I'm a bit of a hothead. I'm pretty clumsy and forgetful. I've got a raggedy punk-ish aesthetic with tons of jangly chains and pins and patches! Also, I never shut up! BTW!! I adore the way you write and I trust that you'll give me a stunning matchup!

hehehe… this one i had fun with.

cw: slight breeding , mentions of daddy kink , i think that’s it.

i choose… REAPER

okay hear me out… at first it may not make sense. y’all seem like you would clash, BUT! i think that makes it even better. enemies to lovers some might sayyy???

i feel like, reaper would find it absolutely adorable when you get upset or pouty over small things. he’d just chuckle to himself about it. he’s a fairly quiet guy, so you talking all the time might just be something he needs in his life. it’s a distraction, and i feel like he’d just love to listen to you tbh. but only you. everyone else can kick rocks LOL.

your aesthetic??? hello??? it’s screaming ‘i need a dark daddy please.’ and here, reaper is ready to deliver JUST THAT.

now, when you mouth off jus a lil too much he’s not afraid to put you in your place. the chains aren’t only good for your outfits. reaper DEFINITELY has a thing for taking you from behind after you’ve been in a huffy mood all day.

“good little pets deserve to see their daddy, bad dolls get their face shoved in the pillows.”

NOW LET ME TELL YOU. BRO DEFINITELY WANTS TO CUM IN YOU, ON YOU, EVERYWHERE ON YOU. he’s marking his territory, you’re his, and only his.

the bruises on your hips, legs, and neck are proof of that ❤︎︎

#overwatch #overwatch 2 #overwatch x reader #overwatch 2 x reader #overwatch smut #reaper x reader #reaper smut #overwatch matchups

[lawain-dimensional-heroes]

DHIP Day one!

"Okay, so considering I'm one of the hosts here, let's see what has happened now..."

"Yikes, Tear is going to be feeling that for a while...And probably going to have to take her time pulling all those thorns out too. Meanwhile Velderoth found himself a river-- possible landmark to take a note of?"

"Like the crafty fox she is she made use of the things she found from the cornucopia to create a slingshot. Smart choice I'd say!"

"Don't tell me this hatchet is sponsored by RAID: Shadow Legends..?"

"Shizuku always told me that practicing, no matter how skilled you are is always better than just winging when skill is really needed. Meanwhile Hanaka is wise to go higher to be able to see the dangers ahead. But will someone catch her by surprise?--"

"Wait, what do you mean Minori killed her...Surely she's not that bad--"

"OKAY WHAT THE FUCK MINORI!!! WHY DID YOU KILL THE BROTHER OF YOUR FRIEND!?!? WAIT TILL I TELL YOUR MOMMA!"

"Ahem--"

"Speaking of bloodbath, Aran and Paimon sadly perished to Cardin. Man, he's being vicious today-- even moreso than Minori!!"

"Oof, now you've hoped to get something from the cornucopia now, huh?"

"Wait, doesn't the hydro archon have the ability to create water anyway?"

"...Guess the bitch's thirsty, huh?"

"Looks like some people from district 2 are just searching for resources or height advantages, smart choice!"

"Oof, Elven grace ain't helping you with that sprain."

"Do you even need food or water to survive at all...?"

"Something something Seele has the potential to ruin Hu Tao's business something something... Hu Tao is no match for the speed of a herrscher!"

"Wait, isn't Jack, Yamato and Oz friends? Well that explains why they're teaming up with Goku! Guess Velvet gets along with people well? Anyway, hopefully they're successful with the raid before Goku gets back!"

"When in doubt, rock it out!...Uhhh...She's dead, isn't she...?"

"She is for sure dead, rest in peace. I'd probably want to leave this pace too."

"Exploration in a hunger game is always important. Just try not to find the enemy by accident okay?"

"...Is it bad if I am already hearing the benny hills theme in my head?"

"With the outfit you wear? Good luck."

"Student and teacher working together-- ah, it's a good sight to see..."

"Should've kept your stuff with ya, huh?"

"When people say she's hot we didn't mean it literally!!"

"I swear-- I better hope Minori isn't winning this round...Though at the same time I kind of want to cause Minori a part of our idol team..."

#ic #more more JUMP | Momoi Airi #DHIP event

[weepingmilkshakedreamer]

AS1 dial0gue but it'z my au [Act 2]

thiz iz a part 2 0f thiz p0zt that i did z0 uhh yeah. l0l

Bleed: "Bleed and Probe, Back alley MDs" - got a nice ring to it, eh doc?

Alan: Never mind that bleed. someone is coming - this could be trouble!

Brutality: All right! Who's the graffiti artist 'round here? Speak up, maggots!

Bleed: Uhhh, I'm Ignacious Bleed, I'm a surgeon, and this is...

Brutality: Surgeons eh? Well! You boys are gonna help me!

Bleed: Uhm... ok what's-

Brutality: No questions! Get Fixin'!

After surgery

Brutality: Hoo! That's better. Don't know why i did that. People i arrested kept suggesting it. Guess i got curious.

Bleed: Well, as long as your happy, Mr. officer sir!

Brutality: Some whack-job round here has started attacking criminals and messin' them up real bad... So carry on, and keep an eye out!

Brutality: ...also you can keep the handcuffs.

Bleed: Ewwww... Bleh!

--------------------------------------------------------------

Valerie: Hey! You guys are the surgeons right? Well listen i just got attacked!

Valerie: I was just minding my own business, siphoning off some petrol from a car, when someone snuck up behind me!

Valerie: BAAAAAARP!

Bleed: Oh cool! Well then, let's take a look!

After surgery

Valerie: Whew. Thanks guys - that was ace.

Bleed: No problem missy! Spread the word!

*Valerie leaves*

Alan: Bleed I've been thinking... your current outfit isn't really suitable anymore, so I grabbed this as we left the warehouse.

*Bleed puts on the bloody overalls*

Bleed: Woohoo look at me! I'm a super-hot surgeon!

Bleed: Thanks doc! All the guys are gonna be saying, "Help me doctor! I have ahuge ick!" and I'll be like, "Hmm! I'd best take a look!" and...

Alan: Bleed! Could we focus, please for gods sake! I think we have another patient!

--------------------------------------------------------------

Vince: Hey! Four-eyes! Yeah, you in the overalls hanging out with the tramp!

Bleed: Jeez and I thought Alan was the only bi- Er uh- I mean... What seems to be the problem, miss?

Vince: MISS?! You little...!

Bleed: wait wha... OH WAIT! I'm so sorry! I thought you were a woman dressed as a cheap male prostitute. Sorry!

Vince: I guess I asked for that. But listen, i suffer from multiple personalities, which is bad for business...

Vince: Could you... You know, fix me?

After surgery

Vince: I feel... Good!

Bleed: (Urgh, well you don't look so good!)

Bleed: So long, pretty boy!

*Vince leaves*

Bleed: ...

Bleed: God... That reminds me of my experience with lobotomies...

--------------------------------------------------------------

Shame-rock: Ah, now I'll know what you'll say, guys!

Shame-rock: You'll say, "Ah, but that guy looks like he's been through the wars!", so you will!

Bleed: Uhh ok?... Have you been through wars then?

Alan: That's not what he meant Bleed you goddamn idiot... But my guess is some kind of farm equipment, or whatever the fuck...

Shame-rock: Ha! But that's all part of being an elite cage-fighter, so it is!

Shame-rock: And besides, you should have seen the other guy!

Alan: Worse off, wasn't he?

Shame-rock: I literally broke me foot off in his a-

Alan: Ah! Ok ok! Don't need to go into detail here! Bleed you take it from here, before he makes me uncomfortable!

Bleed: Right! Well! Let's get cracking on, shall w-

Alan: Bleed, Shut up!

Bleed: Ok...

After surgery

Shame-rock: Well, I feel great!

Shame-rock: But is all the bandages exactly necessary?

Alan: Well, you know how sometimes you have to put a cone on a injured dog to stop it hurting itself again because they have the brain of this dumbass right here?

Bleed: Hey...

Shame-rock: Ah! I see! This is to stop me from destroyin' me opponents too early on?

Alan: Yeah whatever! Let's go with that explanation!

*Shame-rock leaves*

Alan: ....

Alan: You're still a dumbass you know that right?

Bleed: Yeah...

Alan: Ok good.

--------------------------------------------------------------

Distress: So... I HEAR you boys are pretty "extreme"... But you LOOK a bit "old and past it" to me!

Bleed: Hey! I'll have you know I once saved the world from a evil giant flying pizza and his minions using only my bare wits and a shotgun!

Bleed: Er- no, wait... That might have not been me...

Alan: Definitely not.

Distress: Ugh! Whatever! Well, I want you to take it to the next level!

Distress: I want to be your surgical CANVAS OF AGONY! Paint me with pain!

Gimp: Yrrrrrgh! Shrr rrrrrrrryy rrrks prrrrrn!

Bleed: Ewwww! Bleh!

After surgery

Distress: Ahh! That was amazing!

Bleed: I aim to please!

Bleed: Or at least not hit any vital organs!

Grimp: Wrrrrl yrrr strrrrple mrrr brrrrrt-chrrrrks trrrrgrrrtrrr?

Bleed: ...

Alan: ...

Bleed: Uh- sorry i couldn't understand a word you just said! But anyways have you heard of anything about criminals getting attacked miss?

Distress: Ugh! Yeah i heard. Word is, problems started around the same time some creepy French woman started hanging around...

Bleed: French? Hmm... Alright! Anyways be seeing you!

Alan: (Jesus Christ I sure hope not...)

Bleed: (Yeah same here doc...)

--------------------------------------------------------------

Ted: Uh... Hey guys? Will you help me?

Bleed: Uhh yeah I think we should be able to... Whew! Oh man! What did you do, eat a bunch of garbage and then sleep in a dumpster?

Ted: Yeah... I guess, pretty much. Sorry. Listen - it's Joe... he needs to move out.

Bleed: Uhhh what...?

Ted: Uh, Joe's my tapeworm.

Bleed: Oh! Alright i see now! let's take a look then!

After surgery

Ted: Oh man... Joe! What have I done? Oh man...

Bleed: Hey! He was a giant weird, gross parasite who was slowly killing you! What are you upset about!

Ted: Yeah. But... He was my only friend.

Bleed: Huh. Well uh, I guess they say it's those closes to our hearts that can hurt us the most...

Alan: I don't think they meant it in a strictly anatomical sense, Bleed you fuckin idiot...

--------------------------------------------------------------

Caruthers: ...

Bleed: Uhh... What? Sorry i don't speak sign language.

Alan: I'll translate for you bleed! Now what seems to be the problem again sir?

Caruthers: ...

Alan: (I see...) He says that, "He needs our help! And that he's been poisoned".

Bleed: Poisoned? I knew it! Did someone attack you? OH SWEET MOTHER OF- WHAT THE HECK IS THAT?!

Caruthers: ...

Alan: He says that, "It's his pet komodo dragon and good friend Bugeater Peter"

Bleed: Ohhh... Ok anything else?

Caruthers: ...

Alan: He says that, "Today peter wouldn't eat his caviar, so he had to eat some to show em it's delicious, but apparently someone had swapped it out with spider eggs and now he's gonna die... of spiders."

Bleed: Alr well let's see if i can control my phobias long enough to do this, so I'll do the best i can without freaking out!

After surgery

Caruthers: ...

Alan: He says that, "it was very scary but he's grateful for the operation."

Bleed: Ah yes, you're very welcome Mr. Caruthers.

*Caruthers then leaves*

Bleed: You know doc, I've seen something similar to that before!

Alan: Really?

Bleed: Yeah! Back at the warehouse a girl came in full of bugs! She almost seemed to like it! I fixed her up, but...

Alan: You performed surgery without me? Bleed! that was madness!

Bleed: Oh no, it's fine! I did great but... Oh never mind.

--------------------------------------------------------------

Dwayne: Hey guys! Les copains! You gotta help me, see? I was at customs, ok? Customs! Je reviens de la capitale mondiale du café oh man you should have seen all the coffees they had!

Dwayne: But I had too much they said! TOO MUCH! I said I'll tell YOU when I've had enough!

Dwayne: So i had to hide it! I had to! Je dois avoir that sweet, sweet caffeine kick!

Dwayne: slurp-slurp-slurp

Dwayne: Oh baby! Oh boy that's good! But anyway! Fermez-la! I'm talking! Le café - I hid it! Now I need it back!

Dwayne: You gotta get it back for me! Do your surgery thing! Do it do it! Make with the ol' slice and dice, the old snip-snip chop-chop!

Bleed: Ohhh-kay! And breathe!

After surgery

Dwayne: Oh wowee, oh yowza! You got it! Oh I could kiss you my dear Bleed! I could kiss the coffee, that sweet, sweet mocha temptress...

Dwayne: slurp-slurp-slurp

Alan: Wait... What?!-

Bleed: Ugh... Yeah your welcome! I guess, but you need to get over it Dwayne...

Dwayne: Yeah i know! But can you at least help me off the dumpster?

Bleed: (Sigh...) Fine!

*thud*

Dwayne: My... what cold hands you have my dear!

Bleed: That's it! Get out!

Dwayne: Awwww... Not even one little kiss before i go?

Bleed: OUT!

*Dwayne leaves*

Alan: Why Didn't you tell me you had an ex?

Bleed: Well i didn't tell you because it was very personal information you know, And cuz i didn't wanna let you know about the fact i used to date that asshole.

Alan: Oh... Why did you break up with him?

Bleed: I accidentally slept with one of his twin bro-

Alan: AH! Ok ok! That's all the information i need to know why!

Bleed: Oh uhh alright then... Anyways back to work!

Alan: Wow you got over that quick.

--------------------------------------------------------------

Ernest: AH! DOKTORS! HELP! I AM SICK! I HAS ATE SOMEZING ZAT DSIAGREED WITH ME!

Bleed: Uhm ok... Was it fast food?

Ernest: NOT ESPECIALLY! I HAS CAUGHT HIM WHILE I HAS SRAIGHTJACKET AFTER ALL! HA HA HA!

Bleed: (Let's just get on the table and get em the heck out of here! Though I kinda like this guy, he seems cool!)

Alan: (I don't agree with you on the second half! But i agree with you on the first half Bleed.)

After surgery

Ernest: I recognize you, doktor Alan.

Alan: I... Me? How the fuck do you know who i am...?!

Ernest: I saw you. Saw you in ze Old Medicine Building. All zose people died...

Bleed: Uhh doc am i missing something? What is he talking about?

Ernest: YOU WERE ZE DEADPAN FAIRY!

Ernest: DANCE, FAIRY! DANCE YOUR PIXIE DANCE FOR ME AGAIN! HA HA HA! WOOOO! HA HA!

Bleed: (The Old Hospital? Is it true... Or is he just crazy?)

Bleed: Doc... What that guy said. Did you work at the Old Hospital? I heard about that. It shut down because a bunch of people died. And then it burned down...

Alan: Bleed...

Bleed: I want to know what happened doc! But it'll have to wait. We've got a patient!

--------------------------------------------------------------

Bleed: Hey! You're... Jimmy?!

Jimmy: Doc... Help me! They... Someone sent a exterminator on me! I...

Bleed: He's in a bad way! We need to get going here!

After surgery

Bleed: He'll pull through. But that was a attempted murder!

Bleed: who's doing this?! And what happened at The Old Hospital?! What happened with YOU?!

Alan: I... I will explain what i can, Bleed. But for now... It looks like we have another patient.

Bleed: Ahhhhhh! Doc, you cant just leave me hanging like this! I want to know right now!

#amateur surgeon #fan au #role swap au #dialogue only #character dialogue #bit of a long post #long post #adult swim #creative writing #part 2 of 3 #plot twist: Alan is still a asshole lol #google translate was used for Dwayne lol

[karrenseely]

Oh gods, not again.

I've been stuck in my head this week. A new epiphany rocked my world again. My hormones were adjusted recently. About a year ago... I think, I was started on a progesterone cycle. And very quickly I found myself having a desire to explore my body. The really significant dysphoria I was having around my hips, my shoulders, my voice. They didn't bother me as much as they had before. And then. Then I started to have some libido. That was weird and wonderful. My body did things for me I'd never experienced before. It was pleasurable and interesting, and I was feeling less and less like an imposter and more like the woman I am. I know I was also doing a lot of work in therapy as well. Working through the shame and conditioning I'd incorporated into myself that being a woman, being feminine was bad, liking anything girly was bad at best, perverted at worst. And I started to be a little more ok with myself. I wanted to explore the girly things and was finally allowing myself to do so. I even felt sexy sometimes, I think having never experienced those feelings before I'm still not sure if that's what that feeling is or not. I got back into make up, I learned how to paint my nails, I really started enjoying creating outfits and feeling like I was looking good. I was getting in touch with that feminine part of me that I had been suppressing because even though I had transitioned, parts of me were still convinced being feminine was bad, being feminine made me a pervert even though I was a woman. Yes, I know, there's a great deal of cognitive dissonance going on in my brain. And while I was doing these things at some point the little girl in me who'd been crying and along all her life had had enough of being shut away and forced me to let her out, and I got stuck in the past and had a severe bout of CPTSD/Depression putting me out of work for the last 4 months. But doing these things, was self care and when I was able to do them, it helped lift me up some.

I still know very little about hair care, I still for the life of me, have no idea how to do a good tight simple braid without it going off to one side at best, being really loose at worst. You know all the things that I should have learned growing up, that my sister got to learn because it was ok for her to be a girl for some reason and not me.

I love my sister, I don't blame her for choosing to side with my parents, she wasn't facing a choice of death or losing her entire family, she was just faced with losing a sibling or her entire family. Understandably she chose her entire family. I don't think they abused her, at least not the way they did me. She is my younger sister. But when my parents broke me and I just couldn't continue growing and got stuck around age 15, she started to be more like a big sister. I looked up to her. She was good at school, with really good grades, she was popular, she played in marching band, she had lots of friends. And I wished so much that I could be like her. I wanted to be close to her, but I was so terrified of anyone learning my secret and in my head in order to play that role forced on me, meant I was supposed to fight with her. And everytime I beat myself up over it, because I knew I'd destroyed another chance to be close. But I was so scared, and I was just trying to survive. And it hurt so much when she called me pervert for borrowing her clothes.

But despite that, she was an amazing sister. Despite my unpopularity, despite everyone sensing something wrong with me and at best avoiding me, at worst torturing me. She invited me to one of the highschool parties her friends had invited her to. It was a wonderful experience. I felt included. I felt like I'd been seen, but not in a bad way. And for a little while I forgot to be afraid that someone would figure out my secret.

Another time she invited me to go with her and her friends cliff diving at Canyon Lake. That was another wonderful memory, and for all the same reasons. During those excursions I felt like I hadn't completely ruined everything with my sister. That maybe she did care, that she did love me despite me being a pervert. They are good memories.

I don't know how I got on the subject of my sister... Oh that's right, she was in Marching Band and learned how to put her hair up in tight crowns of braids. I so wished it would be ok to ask her to teach me that. I wish I hadn't been so afraid of what my parents would do to me if I talked to her about what I was really going through that I actually did talk to her. I dunno, if I'd had the courage to do that, maybe I'd have had an amazing supportive sister. But maybe not. She was part of the church all through high school. And this church was the one that convinced my mom disowning me was what needed to happen, who convinced my mom that my being dead was better than my being trans. So no I probably wouldn't have had that kind of sister then. Still. I miss her and I love her and I don't blame her for what happened.

And I wish I could apologize to her for everything I did, for saying some of the things I did to her. Maybe I'll write a letter of what I wish I could say to her on here at some point.

anyway I went on a tangent. So yes, it's been a dark few months, but I've been exploring and having some fun with my feminine side. I've also been trying to reconnect with the trans community. So far I've not created a solid connection yet, but atleast I'm part of it on reddit, here, and fb, even though I don't really know anyone on there. It's nice to see how things are different and better for a lot of people compared to when I was kid, and it's hard to see that others in my community are suffering like I had to. But we're all on there, and because we are, we're not quite as alone as we used to be.

And so it's helped some, even though I wish I could make some irl trans friends. But at least I don't feel quite so isolated anymore. But the depression was bad, and I was still suicidal and the treatments hadn't started working yet, so my PCP suggested increasing my estrogen a little to see if that would help. And it did. I started to feel even more like myself. I had reduced it a long time ago because if the dose is too high I ended up with heart palpitations... but thankfully I haven't had issues with it this time around. I dunno, maybe it's because I'm also on progesterone as well now.

There is a part of me that is really angry at the medical establishment and the entrenched misogyny there. Angry that they decided that we only need half our hormones. That progesterone was completely unnecessary because it was only useful with pregnancy. Except that it does so much more than that, but the effects are subtle and... well... it was men that were designing the treatments at the beginning and that misogyny bleed through to later generations of doctors. But they robbed me of over two decades of feeling more comfortable in my body, of having a libido. So yes. I'm a bit chuffed with them.

So yes, about a month ago my estrogen was increased. And it helped my mood, and... apparently my libido. I found myself fantasizing about having sex. I'd never done that before, not ever, and certainly not in a pleasurable way. It was good. But also confusing. I felt like I was waking up from a decades long coma and the world had changed. It's only been in the last 7 years that I understood I was asexual. It's only been in the last year or two that I really began to explore what that meant to me. And it was a shock and confusing that I suddenly had interest in sex. What does this mean for my identity? Does it mean I'm not asexual anymore? And also a lot of anxiety because I suck at dating, I don't really know how to do it, or how to meet people in that way. I was pretty happy with the platonic relationship I had, though there were things I wish I could get myself to talk about, to hash out. And now I found myself wanting a physical relationship with someone.

Still trying to figure out how to find that irl. Then in the past 2 weeks something really really really confusing happened. I found myself fantasizing about a man, having a man love me, touch me, and hold me and have sex with me. And really wanting that. I've known a long time I had slight bi tendencies. But not once, not ever did it those tendencies involve a physical relationship... But here I am wanting one. And it's throwing me for a loop. And I find myself wondering if the assholes who thought trans women didn't need progesterone had robbed me of this too for all these years. And so I thought about finding a man to have a relationship with... and that's when I hit a brick wall. I am terrified of having a romantic/physical relationship with men. Absolutely terrified. And I have been for as long as I can remember, I just didn't understand what it was until now. I just avoided thinking about it. Because you know, trauma response. Something makes you uncomfortable avoid it if at all possible.

And I had no idea why. Except I think I know part of it. I have a good idea what men think of, want from, and how they talk about women. Seeing us as objects, not people with our own wants desires and needs. At best seeing us like children. I have seen so many of us killed by men who felt there masculinity was threatened by us because they didn't see us as women, but as men, and the trans men as women being uppity. I've heard what they say about us, because most of these men don't realize I'm trans and say it in my presence. And I remember Tyra Hunter who died while EMT's and Paramedics laughed at her instead of helping her. And then I remember all the times some random guy decided it was ok to sexually assault me.

I'd coped with that last part by believing that all women had been assaulted at some point in there lives... then a redditor said something that made me wonder if I was wrong, and then a reddit bot pointed me to resources when I wrote about those assaults. And then I talked to a DV advocate crisis line, because I was confused and hurting because I mean how could I have been assaulted so many times if it wasn't the normal level of misogyny all women faced? And if it's not normal then why did it happen to me? What more is wrong with me (yes on a rational level I know none of it is my fault but our brains are rarely truly rational). And the DV advocate told me. She told me that it wasn't normal. And suddenly I felt like I'd done something wrong. That I'd deserved what happened because I was an idiot.

And then I asked a reddit group of women if it was true. If it wasn't normal for women to be assaulted. And the first response I got was someone blaming me for what happened, rather than answering my question. And suddenly the little girl in me that has been in so much pain all along surged up and out. And I've been a mess since then and that happened two nights ago I think. But I'm not sure. Anyway, I'm feeling alone, confused, and really stupid. And part of me still has a hard time believing that advocate.

And just before all of this started happening in my head, just as we increased my estrogen, my counselor went on maternity leave, and I don't know who to talk to. And while I'm really happy for her, I'm feeling really lost at the moment. I've started looking for another counselor, but I won't get immediate help even if I saw them tomorrow, because I don't know them, because of my trauma history it is incredibly difficult for me to trust anyone, much less a counselor (my trauma history includes being traumatized by a counselor, a male one at that, which probably is a contributing factor to my fear of men) So yeah. That's where I'm at right now. Scared, lost, confused, hurting and parts of me also stuck in the memories images and/or feelings of the abuse I suffered growing up. It's not a good place to be.

The treatments are working though. I'm not suicidal during this past week, so I guess that's something? Maybe. But I find myself just wishing I'd gotten to grow up like a normal girl and that I didn't have to go through all of this. That so much time has been wasted dealing w/ this BS. And I hate it. I hate the universe for putting me and everyone in my community through this shit.

#lgbt #lgbt+ #lgbtqia #trans #transgender #trans kids #childhood trauma #complex ptsd #trauma #family #sexuality #sexualassault #sexualization #sexualhealth #sexualwellness #exploring sexuality #sex positivity #Depression #lgbtqiia+ #lgbtqi community #lgbtq issues #queer #lgbtq community #Misogyny #sexism #intersectionality #survivor #trauma survivor #Karrenseely

[tvshowspoilers]

Doing another re-watch of Our Flag Means Death. Figured I'd time it with Kristan Nairn's (spelling) last watch and David J being on his stream. I got more stuff to say/noticed. I love this show soooo much <3 Apparently it is live commentary time!

Does anyone know what is on Jim's old knife that is on the rock with their clothes when they go swimming in Episode 2. Looks green with a flag?

Mary's mom's outfit is so pretty! The pink with the embroidery is lovely <3 (Episode 4, at the beginning) Also her wedding outfit is pretty too. I love that blue.

Also, I wonder if the pearl necklace that Ed wears is one Stede gets from home cause we see Mary wearing a pearl necklace in epi 4. Or do you guys think he makes it?

Also, why did Stede immediately jump to thinking Ed was apart of Blackbeard's crew?

Also, the picture over the fireplace changed I think? In the scene with Nigel dying it has people on it but when he is talking to ed in 4, its just clouds.

I also love that when Stede suggests retirement he's like "I can't believe I'm saying this"

I adore that we as a fandom have just taken Ed's knee brace that is probably there to make him look cool and just ran with it actually being there cause knee problems.

Still analyzing what his look before saying "want to do something weird" means...

Izzy is such a dramatic bitch and I love that (definitely on the right ship for that)

When I first saw this I didn't understand why Ed was pushing Stede so hard but I think now its because he was showing him the pressure he suffers as Blackbeard. Same with episode 6. I get now that he's preparing him to be able to stab someone in case shite happens. The first time I saw it, I honestly thought it was because he thought they might have to fight each other and Ed was preparing him for that.

I wonder of in season 2 we are actually going to get to see Ed fighting cause we didn't at all in season 1.

Still can't get passed Ed's look when he tells Stede "Go" to pull the sword out.

Also something something episode 6 when Ed mentions turning a persons fear against them feels important for the last episode but I can't explain it.

When Stede is wearing his black turtleneck get up, I just noticed he was wearing a blue cloth tied around his waist.

Also can't get over Izzy caressing the curtain in Epi 6.

Still hurts that Ed not only lost a potential love interest but someone that seemed like a true friend.

So proud of Stede for catching the sword when challenged by Izzy. And I think he means the use of fuckery that Ed taught him well on, not actual sword fighting.

Also Jim during the entire duel scene XD love seeing them pantomime stabbing Izzy, lol

Also Izzy's choice of words still makes me giggle. "You will rue it LONG and you will rue it HARD." Izzy, what

Still wondering why exactly Ed wanted to leave the Revenge in epi 7 and why he was in a mood all day? was he embarrassed? Did he realize his feelings? During the treasure hunt was he just hungry and hated nature?

I can't wait to see if we ever get more about Jim's brother in season 2

Episode 7 is my favorite Jim/Olu episode <3

In episode 8...Ah I love Stede's little eyebrow flinch when CJ asks if he's buggering Ed.

Also I can't get over Samba's story about the hardest filming moment being the scene with Karl's death because he was behind a hexing Buttons who had his butt clenched.

Confident Stede is just...*chef kiss*

poor stede looks like he's going to cry when Ed leaves

I just noticed the red rim around Stede's eye from the telescope in episode 8 when he is spying on Ed and CJ

Goodness do I love that they used "The Chain" and it has gained new popularity because of that. It's such a good song. Freaking love Stevie Nicks. I grew up listening to this song <3

The foot touch!! Still hits even after seeing it several times.

I love unhinged Roach, lmao.

Idk but something about when Chauncey says to Ed that Stede is "apart of my world, not yours"

Aww, my heart still warms when the crew calls Stede a real pirate and defends him <3

Izzy's Revenge does sound funny

Omg, the kiss still is just as powerful. The little noise Stede makes! Ed practically climbing in to his lap! I can't wait till season 2 kisses.

Aww I want to see a little bit of Captain Olu in season 2.

Just noticed Stede has two pillows. Is one Ed's or did he Stede his way in to getting two?

Ed's last scene being happy D:

Geez, the trauma of Chauncey's death. I just took a trauma theory class and something we discussed is what is trauma. There was a writer who had a theory that a part of trauma comes from how a person reacts to a event. Considering (we assume) that this death caused Stede to run back home, we can say that this death was much more traumatic then any of the others. I hope that gets explored in Season 2.

My heart hurts every time I see Ed waiting for Stede. I wish he had looked for Stede, considering that man is a trouble magnet, but considering his own trauma, I can see why he didn't.

He had to of cried a bit while he rowed to the revenge, right? But he definitely looked angry while rowing? Probably at himself and Stede

I love the title of episode 10 so very much. Also, that we got to see Mary explore freedom. And the song at the very end of the episode. Miles from Nowhere was a wonderful choice. Also Avalanche.

I finally realize what I would call some of Stede's behavior while he is home. Bitter. I was just going to go with heartbroken and stuff but yeah, bitter.

I wonder if the crew realizes that Izzy is lying out his ass. Or if they know what happened to Stede. Maybe the crew just thinks that Stede decided not to come? or that he wasn't able to leave? Up until Lucius talks with ed?

Fang is precious <3

Just realized Ed was whistling while he was tidying up the Captain's room.

Sometimes I skip episode 10 on my re-watches. It huuuurrrts. I don't think I could accept a Izzy redemption arc until he realizes he messed up by turning Stede in and verbally hurting Ed when he was already vulnerable

He couldn't let go of Blackbeard so he's letting go of Ed T_T I think along with all the other analyzing of why Ed is crying, I think some of it is he just misses his friend.

#our flag means death #ofmd #OUR FLAG MEANS DEATH

[jedi-lothwolf]

Winter Whumperland Day 2: Krampus (Sensory Overload)

Fandom: The Batch Batch

Summary: Hunter is sent to meet the leader of a cartel so they could take the cartel down. However the meeting place was one of the city's most popular bars and well, Hunter doesn't do well in crowds.

    Hunter wasn't ready. He hadn't expected to be told to meet such a prominent cartel member at such a bright bar. It was crowded, people bumping into each other on the dance floor and a million different conversations happening all at oncs.

    Every now and again the batch would be assigned to more civil cases. Most of the time the other party would agree to help in the war effort if someone helped them in a civil dispute.

    This time, a wide spread drug cartel was getting out of hand on a back world planet. Hunter had been instructed to meet with the owner of the cartel with a deal that was too good to refuse. The rest of the batch was to hold onto the fake drugs the Republic had been trusted with.

    When the man walked into the bar, Hunter almost wasn't sure it was him. He was a human and stood at about 6'2. He had a tan completion. His hair was short and a dark shade of brown and he wore a very put together outfit consisting of some black dress pants and a lavender vest with a loose, but nice fitting, black jacket. He had a matching lavender pocket square and pocket watch.

    Hunter sighed. He knew this man would be a piece of work. He seemed impossibly nice as he walked towards him. "You must be Hunter, right?" His voice was smooth.

    "Depends, who's asking?"

    The man chuckled. "You're tense. Henry is asking." He sat down and waved over a waiter. "I'll have a dry martini and get my friend here a dark and stormy."

    Hunter tried to listen around him. It was so loud. Not that he wasn't used to loud, but this kind? This kind of loud was new. There were women screaming as 'thier song's came on. There were pushy men asking those same women to go home with them.

    Drinks clicked as some group in a corner were celebrating an engagement. Henry was talking up the wayter, trying to talk hims way out of paying his tab that day. The bright lights hurt Hunter's eyes. They changed from color to color without a pattern or a warning.

    And it was loud. To loud. The clone couldn't think. The bar smelled so strongly of alcohol and of cheap perfume. It was overpowering. Focusing felt almost impossible.

    "Look at that woman. I need to feel her up and soon." Some man said.

    "Ahhh! Girl! Give him a chance! He is so into you!" Someone said. "

    Drinks clicked and one glass shattered. "I knew you'd been fucking her! That it I'm leaving!" "Baby please!"

    "Hey girl, wanna dance?"

    Loud music drowned out most of these conversations to everyone else. But not Hunter. He listened to every crude comment some man made about the women at the bar. He hears every bit of drama and every happy memory.

    It was overwhelming. He physically shook his head slightly to try to clear him mind. "Something in your mind?" Henry asked. He took Hunter's hand and handed him his drink. "We can talk about the deal later. Now, we drink!"

    Hunter took a sip of the drink. Not his style. He wasn't supposed to drink anyway. It didn't take long before Henry was done with his first drink. "We need to talk about the deal. That's what I'm here for" Hunter pushed.

    "Come on Hunter, relax. Our deal will be made but let's take some time. Maybe I'd like to know you a bit first. Where's your family from?"

    "Here."

    "Oh? Never got to get off this rock."

    "Nope."

    "Well mine are from Coruscant but that just seems boring now."

    "You know me, let's get this deal done."

    "Not so fast, let's dance maybe you'll meet a girl, or guy, if you swing that way." Before Hunter could fully comprehend what he said or disagree, Henry had pulled him onto the dance floor.

    'Kriff.' Hunter tried to go back to the table. He tried to avoid everyone. It was already too bright and too loud. Now the smell was harsher and now there were bodies in the equation. And he couldn't have his armor.

    Normal clothes weren't bad but when there are people all around you, armor would have made Hunter more comfortable. Instead he was in nicer black pants and red shirt with a less nice black shirt. It was hot so he had put his hair into a half up bun.

    Someone bumped into him and their drink spilled slightly onto his sleeve. A loud Twi'lek girl yelled "sorry" and kept dancing with her friend. The drink was sticky, making the jacket cling to his arm a little.

    That was it. Everything was too much. The lights were too bright, the smell too strong, the people who kept touching him, the sticky drink on his sleeve, and the noise. The noise was the worst part. It was too loud, it was to fucking loud.

    The man needed a way out. He couldn't breathe. There was too much. The thought of the mission pressed in his mind. Hunter needed to find a way back to the table. He looked around at the sea of being, all having a good time.

  �� Henry danced with some girl. He noticed that Hunter looked lost and excused himself. "Hey buddy!" Hunter jumped then looked at him. "Why don't you come chat this girl up?! Maybe she'll even let ya-"

    "The deal. Now." Hunter's voice was shaking but his tone was stern.

    "What are you, afraid of fun?" Henry chuckled. "You seem nervous." His voice dropped. "Something you're not saying?"

    "Come to the table and find out."

    Henry smirked. "You know how to get attention." He flowers Hunter to the table.

    When they arrived, the clone wanted to sink into the chair and hide. Instead he sighed and sat down. "It's getting late. Take this seriously."

    "Okay okay, but what is your problem?"

    Hunter wayed his opinions. He had to give him an answer. "I don't do crowds. Too many people."

    "You know, we can leave. I'll take you back to my place and-"

    "No. We finish this here. Do you want the drugs or not?" Hunter kept his head tilted down. He looked back up and watched as Henry looked around.

    "Alright, let's seal this deal. You have the stuff around or?"

    "My guys are just waiting for my word." Hunter stood but was pulled back into his seat.

    "If I learn this is a set up, so help me you will never see the light of day again. I won't kill you but you'll wish I had. It would be a shame, you're hot." Hunter pulled out of his the man's grasp.

    "Don't do that again." Henry stood and smiled.

    The music got louder as a voice came over the speakers. It said something about happy hour starting. Before Hunter could think to stop himself he slammed his hands over his ears. The lights changed more frequently and the occupants of the bar got louder.

    "Let's get out of here." Henry grabbed Hunter's hand and led him out of the bar. It took being outside and a few feet away from the bar before the clone even realized he was outside.

    Hunter felt stupid. How could he let the enemy drag him out of the bar like that? How could he be so overwhelmed by something so simple as a bar? He was a soldier, a crowded bar should be nothing.

    "Where are your buddies? I'll get my girl to bring your money. You really can't stand crowds can you?"

    "They'll be here and no, I can't."

    "Well you know what, that's fine. Not like you need to be around them anyway. Hey, let's wait over here."

    Hunter listened to his surroundings before walking over to the corner the man led him to. Now they wait.

#winter whumperland 2023 #winter whumperland #winterwhumperland2023 #star wars #whump #star wars whump #star wars the bad batch #the bad batch #hunter the bad batch #hunter tbb #hunter whump #hunter bad batch #bars #bar #sensory overload #krampus #oc

[chevvy-yates]

From the OC ask game for all of your boys: 11 and, for Ryder specifically (I'm not playing favourites ssshhhh): 33, 34, 35?

11. what do they have in common with you? how are they different? would you get along with them?

Oh boy … what a question Dx I'll try to hold it short:

Vijay:

In Common: huge love for sea animals since we were kids, 80s, retro fashion, ginger hair (mine is colored tho as I'm naturally brown), overthinking and problems to find sleep at night as thoughts run around in our minds constantly, on constant low energy as overworking outselves is 'daily life', undecided about everything (we always want to be Switzerland) different: smokes, his character is the opposite of mine as he's outgoing, loves to be around people. He always needs some affection/love or he will feel alone, he is good with computers/mathematics, understands the feelings of others very well, knows how to pep talk We would get along but not be besties. He would definitely call me often, try to lure me out of my cave to have some fun. I'd go but maybe I'll be exhausted. cannot do it everyday as Vijay knows too many people in the city. I would go nuts to know that many and have to talk so much. Though, he too has days he needs a bit lone time to load his battery due to the overworking habit.

Ryder:

In Common: being German and Hessian, all things black, definitely the perfectionism, some ocpd tendencies (his are heavier than mine tho), fast to get aggressive about the tiniest things (day is done then), not keen to start a conversation with anyone from our side, the judging gaze, always right and others are wrong, love for hard beats (techno, dark wave, industrial), only wanting to be around people when on a (rave) event/party, introvert acting extrovert in certain situations, low self-esteem (that got better with years of maturity, but can break), don't like to be really spontaneous (needs to be planned at least 2 days prior), dislike when someone is too late for a meeting, small circle of friends, problems to articulate how we feel, everything pistaccio, popsicles and lollipops, love to take pictures in cool outfits but hate when someone takes pictures in private, high interest in military and space. different: chain-smoker, relationsship with his family is bad (mine is not), heavy mobbing in the past happened to him (i got mobbed as well but for being different as I was allowed to dress like I've wanted - Ryder not, he was mobbed for being not good enough), when he works he is super focused (I'm not) as Beast steers him, he is probably funnier than I am and more outgoing too (again this is Beast's influence as well as 'real Ryder' used to be a shy introverted boy who spent time only with a small circle of friends), does lots of sport I think we would definitely love hate each other as we are very similar. xD As you can see Ry and I share the most in common, he is sort of a self insert but not a full one. Idk if I could be with him 24/7 but we would definitely get along and be somewhat close to besties. I never told it but he likes Hizumi very much as Hizumi is similar like him (and Hizumi is technially me). I bet he would drag me out more often as I spent too much time at home alone and I'd be the one who gives him a pep talk when he feels down – at least as good as i am able to bc, feelings and understanding them are ugh.

Thyjs:

In common: Military clothings (olive, camo – I dig this so much), only talks when addressed, love for classical art (impressionism) and music. 60s/70s Rock('n'Roll), drinks alcohol only when going out, love for thunderstorms, bicycling/mountainbiking different: smokes, has ptsd and emotional numbing, knows what he wants, strong personality type, family bound (would even marry and have children, I do not) We would get along, but I'd have super huge respect towards him but appreciate his silent presence the most.

Jaysen:

in common: doesn't smoke and never ever tried it out, taste for cool cars and all things cowboys, rowdyness (i may not be as rebelious as he is but I rebel against certain things and u can't change my mind), different: all what his brother above is plus careless what others think of him We would get along but I would have a hard time to have him around as he's so energetic in contrast of his lil brother xD.

Hizumi:

In common: nonbinary, doesn't smoke, has my face, fashion style (a mix of visual kei, japanese fashion (e.g. sexpot revenge), 80s, loneliness, lazyness, loves to fly (airplane travel), interest for mysticism (yokai) different: can't think of anything as I haven't developed them much but I'm sure there are some as well. Hizumi sadly is the least developed as I do not have them as pixels yet and I tend to ignore my 'cospaly pics' always.

So, Ryder is your fav u wanna tell me? :P

33. if applicable, how would your other characters describe them? i mean specifically the people around them.

Vijay: "Ryder's a complicated dude, but a real lovely one. You can't hate him, even if you wished for it. Yes, he's got problems with his tonality an' is easy to erupt. If you only get to know him superficially you may not like him. It's not easy to become his choom, but if you are allowed to be — bro, he's the best choom you can have. Never met one as loyal as Ryder — at least not before meeting Thyjs — Ry's like that lil' pup phenomenon; the stray black lil' doggo you found wandering aimlessly in the streets and picked up to bring home with you. Result is a super loyal strong watchdog who will be alerted immediately once someone approaches. I can say of my own experience that he's extremely protective if you happen to be in his rather small friend circle. He will do anything to protect you from the bad. He's a good boy and therefore my best friend forever."

Thyjs: “I didn’t know what to think of him in the first place. He talked to me with such an arrogant tone, on top in German. Ik was totaal geïrriteerd. Unsure if I would like him. He's got quite some personality. But knowing him better now, I see who he truly is and when it is the ‘other Ryder’ coming through. There is something about him I did like from the very first moment: his honesty and straightforwardness and his strong will to withstand the pain he endures every day. I can only imagine how he must feel. So I decided to give him a chance. En ik ben eerlijk — he's one of the kindest people I’ve met. Ry willed to show me the city — he hardly knew me. He decided to trust me even though I served those who he despises most. He offered me to stay at his place, as I had none, until I made some eddies for an apartment. I enjoyed spending time with him more and more. He made me put down my strict soldier shell I usually keep up, allowing me to appreciate the more casual life now as I cannot pick up my soldier career anymore. Thanks to him I’m a little more of an outgoing person now too I guess. Ryder saved my life! I owe him my protection and he magically made me fall in love with him. It was the least I expected to happen. He helps me explore my own feelings as I struggle with emotional numbing even though he has a hard time to express himself either. In private he's the loveliest and most caring man I've ever met. You can only fall in love with him."

34. how would your character describe themselves? it doesn't have to line up with how they really are.

answered here.

35. do they ever return home?

Ryder often thought about going back home to Germany but he never did as the thought of making Night City a better place kept him here. Also he feels bound to the city as long as Beast has control over him. The fun fact is, if he would leave NC and a certain area, Beast would lose control over him as it is bound to Night Cities net only and he would be free, but he doesn't know that. It would be so easy. But Beast keeps him in his place. Thinking about it now I can imagine him and Thyjs going on a vacation back to Germany just somewhere into the forest. Can only be after their big story event because his father needs to be thrown from the Militech throne first (idk if he will stay alive or not) to make it happen, as Beast needs to be gone too. But if he goes back home (near Frankfurt am Main) he will do it with Thyjs. He will show him his favorite places he's been to and shamelessly utilize his families properties that are located in many places of Germany. A luxury wooden lodge in the Blackwood Forest to spend summer or winter vacation in. The Scharfenberg Isle at the Lake Tegel in Berlin would also be a nice place to visit as the family own a little summer house on the isle where Ryder learned to swim as a young boy. And of course he would bring Thyjs to the old tarmac at Tempelhof Park! The Scharfenberg Castle (Palatinate) would be visited as well – though it's just a ruin today but tied to his family crest as he's a descendant of Carl III of Scharfenberg. As well as Schloss Wanfried in Nord Hesse. These are all places tied to good memories of his rather bad childhood and places can the least for his family's toxic behavior. Thyjs is interested in history and wants to know where Ryder grew up so I imagine they would definitely visit some of those places and stay there for a while. I also hc right now that Ryder gets the idea to drive over to the Netherlands, give Thyjs the option to see his mother again. But this all can only happen a few years after the story events of course as Militech would get suspicious even though Thjys has a different ID now with a new last name. Ryder would even let his mother drive in to on of the places in Germany if he gets out any info about her (I bet Vijay and Jay would be glad to help out).

okay turned out to be longer than I intended :,D

#about: ryder von scharfenberg #also about me lol #thanks for asking <3

[sasquapossum]

Finally got home again. Left last Monday. Some random notes, in no particular order.

It's a long-ass drive. 18 hours according to Google Maps, but realistically at least a couple of hours more before you even count breaks.

The worst pedestrian-hostile "stroad" I've ever seen is in Erie PA. Very convenient if you're passing through or (I suppose) trying to buy something, but I think I'd hate to live there. I meant to go for a run that morning, because I don't have Pennsylvania on my list yet, but I just couldn't find a route that didn't make me want to quit running so I slept in an extra half hour.

My wife's snoring has to be heard to be believed. I see all this jokes about snoring husbands, but they strike me as a bit sexist TBH. Earplugs - and I have good ones - aren't enough. The first two nights I slept on awful sofabeds to at least get a bit of distance. The other nights I just slept poorly.

My daughter's dorm-room situation seems much better too. It's bigger, with a very nice lake view, vs. a tiny room with a view of a trash-strewn rooftop at Union. Her room-mate (trans-fem) seems cool too, and I suspect she'll make friends more easily on that thematic hall than she would elsewhere. That addresses one of our biggest worries. The dining hall (in the next dorm) also seems like a bit of an upgrade. It is a bit far from some of the academic buildings she'll be visiting, though (psych building in particular is at the other end of a big campus), so we'll see how that works out in the dead of winter.

The greater campus and city also seems like a big upgrade from Union/Schenectady. Nothing against either, but AFAICT Madison deserves its reputation as one of the best college towns. BTW I'm saying that as someone who attended UMich and lived in Ann Arbor for almost a decade. I feel like a traitor.

Illinois drivers are still the worst. We went through seven states on this trip, including Massachusetts and New York which each have their own bad reputations, and I've driven in plenty of others. Everyone thinks their drivers are the worst, but in Illinois they're right (as far as the US is concerned anyway).

Jamestown NY, and the general Lake Chautauqua area, seems like a real under-appreciated gem. There are many natural attractions, the National Comedy Center, Southern Tier Brewing Company (the whole reason I first went there back in May), and so much more. I was delighted when my wife said, "It's so nice here, can we extend our stay another day?" Seriously, it's looking-at-rental-prices good.

Here's a picture from Paradise Rocks, which is a fantastic little park near Lake Chautauqua. Even my friend who grew up nearby hadn't heard of it, but the narrow passage in the picture is one of many throughout the place and they're massive fun to explore. We spent two and a half hours on a barely one-mile circuit.

And here's something I hardly ever do - a picture of my lovely daughter, happy to be at her new home for the next eight or nine months. Her outfit got so many positive comments, especially (and surprisingly) from older people.