#something that is bad and needs ro change but she needs more time for than was given

[fruitsofhell]

After finishing She-Ra 2018 I'm trying to work on my unified theory for why CatDora bothers me as the endgame ship. Cause as CEO of mentally ill cartoon women, there's something about it that feels a disservice to Catra's psychology and trauma. She is genuinely such an interesting character to watch because they so clearly lay out the abusive dynamic that informs her entire character, but by the kiss, I feel like they lost steam with it.

The biggest thing to me is the simple fact that Adora is basically a trigger for her. Adora's personality as someone who is constantly self-sacrificing and forgiving is something Catra has a deep hatred for because she believes she is worthless and unforgivable, and when people try to help her she feels they're using her to look better while she fails to get better.

The fact that ADORA herself was the one in that original dynamic that traumatized the hell out of her makes me uncomfortable with how Catra eventually just... stops getting set off by things. I just can't imagine how what happened leading up to their kiss would desensitize Catra enough to that trauma response that she'd be in love with her. Like in that same season she was fucking death gripping the table at hearing Adora's name, and in seasons earlier she straight up like dissociated when people brought up her heroics. Not only the unearned healing, but the "I've loved you all along" feels a bit patronizing to her past. That all her emotionality was complicated romantic feelings, and not... having really nasty childhood trauma.

#shut the heck up #she ra #that damn cat #show was good btw #not a masterpiece - it was kinda corny in a bad way sometimes - but was fun #it felt like it wanted to be there and had ideas it was interested in #and i really like catra she is my fave as you can see #mentally ill cartoon women #im actually still getting my little pea brain around it cause her trauma and dynamic with adora is a lot #i like that the show was patient with her i wish it wasnt patient just cause it wanted her to kiss adora #imo she should be with someone else who is willing to stick up for her as adora does but isnt her #isnt the woman who's name and face can send her into self-destructive hysterics #something that is bad and needs ro change but she needs more time for than was given #wheres she-ra future where we recontextualize the casts trauma and show happy endings still need more time? #tag talking #media analysis

[midnightsun-if]

Sorry if this sounds rude, but I have some things I need to get off my chest. Frankly, the whole Scarlett situation kind of sucks, and the way you’re handling things is not exactly helping matters. I get you have a specific vision for her character, and as a fellow author I would never suggest you compromise that to appease a bunch of sexist, entitled fans, but you’ve given so much attention to her character that it honestly comes as no surprise that people wouldn’t respect her sexuality, as bad as that is to say.

I’ve personally sent numerous asks in the past, and you haven’t answered a single one, so either you’re intentionally ignoring them, or tumblr ate them. If it’s the later, then I’m sorry for accusing you. You’re obviously not under any obligation to answer asks you don’t want to, but I admit it does sting a bit to see Scarlet Ask #523759690 on my feed when I have yet to see a single one of mine. You may not think you have a favorite character, but from an outside perspective, you 100% do.

The amount of attention Scarlett receives compared to the rest of the cast (seriously, when was the last time Caden got an ask dedicated to them?) is truly astounding. Fans will naturally have their favorites, but as an author you should remain impartial… which you really haven’t. In fact, it seems like you actively encourage the Scarlett attention. It’s like you keep showing off a fancy car that only a few people can actually buy, then get upset when people complain they can’t buy the car as well.

Anyways, I’m sorry for this rant, but I’ve been thinking about this for a while now. I wish you luck on your writing journey, and hope you have a happy holiday (if you’re in a country that celebrates any upcoming holidays)!

I truly don’t know what to say other than the fact that I haven’t seen your asks and that I’m trying to avoid Scarlett asks when it specifically involves the discourse with her sexuality— which also may contribute to the possibility on why I haven’t seen them, if that’s what they involved— as I mentioned in my one-and-done post about it… I don’t want to keep this as a reoccurring theme on the blog as I know that many people will grow tired of it just like I have.

I answer Scarlett centric asks, barring when I answer scenario asks about the family and/or the ROs, mainly due to the fact that she’s the one people single out— if someone sends me an ask about C, or Blake, or anyone else, I’ll answer it… It just happens to be that Scarlett gets the most asks when it comes to that sort of thing— and those asks are typically much easier/faster to answer than the all-in-one asks— I’d be more than happy to answer singular asks about any number of my characters. And I have in the past when someone sends something in.

All I can truly say? If not being able to romance Scarlett is this big of an issue, and I truly am saying this as nicely as I can… I don’t think Midnight Sun is the right IF for you. I believe I know a couple more IFs with an Ice Queen type RO, or adjacent RO, that may suit you better if you’d like to me share them!

And, I’d just like to make this small point, I get upset, or am starting to, because it’s a point I’ve brought up over and over again— Scarlett isn’t a lesbian to create an inconvenience for the player… She’s a lesbian because it’s part of who she is. Sending me asks saying “I can change her” or “Give us Scarlett and the F!MCs Koda” (among other things) is absolutely abhorrent in the best case scenario. There are 7 other ROs for you to choose from— all of which offer their own unique routes and experiences within Midnight Sun.

Scarlett isn’t changing, I’m standing firm with this. I’m not going to ever change my mind about it— I’m sorry if that upsets anyone, but it’s not something I’m backing down on.

#midnight sun #asks #ro: scarlett voltaire #and if I haven’t answered your singular asks it’s either because I haven’t seen them #or I couldn’t figure out the correct response and decided to come back later… #and forgot 😅 #which is my bad #as I typically try to answer them whenever they first arrive due to the fact that they’re relatively simple to answer #and I can send them out quickly (depending on what it is of course) #which means this will also be the last one I’ll be responding to #barring special circumstances

[no1sharkenthusaist]

! hsr headcannons for several characters ! [modern au]

♪ In-ter-net-o ya-me-ro ♪!

Y u m i - c h a n i s n o w o n l i n e !

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

Characters : Dan Heng, Serval, Blade, Gepard, March

Plot : no real plot, just headcannons about honkai Characters in a modern au setting

Tags : modern au, headcannons, fluff, slight crack, wrote this at 11pm while heading home from a road trip

authors note : omg got a steam deck for my birthday (may 30th) and I. AM. IN. LOVE !!! I could talk abt it for hours and hours but i have my discord for that ehe. Anyways, ive been having fun rediscovering my old childhood games and thats when i had an epiphany. Hsr or genshin boys in a ddlc type scenario!!! Feeling so swag abt the idea. Also i got out of school so more uploads yaya. Thank u all for the support on my intro page yippee. I promise not to let you all down

╭( ･ㅂ･)و ̑̑ enjoy !

DANHENG

Now playing : Scrawny - The Wallows

He definitely dresses like with collared shirts and kinda has that accidental soft boy look

English major frfr

definitely listens to lovejoy/wilbursoot and bo burnham

Water drinker enthusiast (even tho he forgets to drink half the time-)

burnt out gifted kid

messed up sleeping schedules

Hes that quiet guy everyone has a crush on to some extent

He looks cold and serious during lectures, but hes actually just daydreaming and has his head in the clouds

Probably stays with the same group of kids he met in middle school because he cant socialize

I think said kids would be march, stelle/caleus, himeko And on ocasion blade, kafka, and silverwolf

Welt would be a chill english teacher that would let Dan Heng sit in his classroom during lunch

he likes going to concerts a lot

Learned to play guitar in middle school but doesnt like playing in front of people

Consider yourself lucky if he plays in front of you

Extremely oblivious to romance

Girls will try to flirt with him but he will just have a blank and confused look

Spends his free time in book stores shopping for records

Ps5 gamer frfr

Theater kid (had a hamilton phase)

SERVAL

Now playing : Shut Me Up - Mindless Self Indulgence

Shut me up by mindless self indulgence on loop

Like its probably to an unhealthy level

Always has headphones in(that gepard gave her for her birthday)(And so loud to the point you can hear the music standing next to her)

(went deaf at the ripe age of 13, after that it was all "huh?" /j)

Shirts from old bands, baggy jeans, fishnets, etc

Had an alt phase

Bad habit of smashing guitars

Dropped out of college after first semester

Had a band in highschool with Blade and Dan Heng that received noise complaints on a regular Basis

Really extroverted and easy to get along with

Loves going to concerts (especially the ones that get crazy like halfway through )

Probably gets in fights during black friday

Addicted to coffee (gepards needs to step in and help her drink something else)

Likes bitter stuff more than sweet stuff

Cares very deeply for her friends

The type of gal to go on road trips with friends and go Camping

Goes to protests every other tuesday

Probably banned from several places

very passionate about things she loves

Loves scary movies and Rollercoasters

The six flags employees have memorized her name

(shes just so cool i wanna be like her fr)

BLADE

Now playing : Consequences - Lovejoy

Theater kid (would never admit it tho)

Kafka teases him about it so much

met kafka and silverwolf in detention

The teachers hate the three of them

Alt kid and never got out of his emo phase

Besties with serval, change my mind

Kafka probably pushed him to join boxing to get his anger out in a less…destructive way

Loves the sleepovers he has with kafka and silverwolf

Broke silverwolf's tv while playing wii sports

Goes to college, no clue what he wants to do so hes just doing liberal studies

Adopted a small stray cat he saw on the ground during a storm

he tries to be tough and mean, but hes a big Softy

Loves the Beetlejuice musical(and mean girls but we dont talk about that)

has probably been on probation on multiple occasions

Probably vandalized the car of someone he didnt like

Kafka has to sweet talk everyone out of getting blade in serious trouble

Hes really good at basketball, he just doesnt like it so he never pushed it further

Doesnt really like or understands sports

probably listens to videogame osts 24/7

GEPARD

Now Playing : Pretty Face - PUBLIC

Getting serval out of trouble isnt a choice, its a lifestyle

Which is ironic, as he is a criminal justice major

But he still will always be her biggest supporter

Dresses (like a costco dad) soft boy by pure accident

Completely oblivious to anything and everything

Enjoys gardening and has a lemon Tree

Cave Town enthusiast

Lemonade Enthusiast

Sends people those "reminder to drink water and be happy" messages

Straight 4.0 GPA student. The teachers loved Him

Was really shy so he didnt have many friends growing up (Serval had to help him out)

Hates rollercoasters, serval drags him around six flags and he screams his head off

Poor guy :<

Still loves it since he loves hanging out with his sister

Student council secretary

No clue how the internet and technology works

Strong sense of justice

That has gotten him involved in several issues

Which ironically, serval got him out of

Wholesome cinnamon roll, pls protecc

MARCH 7TH

Now playing : Cupid - FIFTY FIFTY

That one girl in class that no one could hate

Class representative and student council public relations officer

Photography major (duh)

Social butterfly and very easy to talk to

Want to go out to go eat something sweet while having fun? March has you covered !

March Makes friendship braclets and sells them so she can go shopping

has a secret stash of candy hidden in her dorm

March has a babysitting gig and comes to peoples houses with candy

Shes a little kid magnet, they all love her so much

had a club penguin phase with Dan Heng and they both shudder just thinking about it

learned all her profanity from watching Dan Heng play Call Of Duty

sucks at english, fries her brain like a hashbrown

k-pop girlie

dresses really cute with cardigans and pastel pinks

(watched aphmau, Her favorite one was a mermaid tales and mystreet) [submitted by someone on my discord who wants to stay anon]

plays overwatch and says things like "Hey, thats not nice!"

lowkey kind of a teachers pet-

Loves webtoons and collects the physical releases

! Thats a wrap !

! Join my discord HERE !

! Likes, reblogs, comments are greatly appreciated !

and thank you for reading ^^

♪ Overdose 君とふたり やるせない日々♪

! y u m i - c h a n i s n o w o f f l i n e !

t h a n k y o u f o r c o m i n g ~

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

#hsr headcanons #march 7th #dan heng #serval #star rail #hsr blade #blade hc #march 7th hc #hsr x reader #Yumi's shark blog that isnt quite about sharks #hsr x you #hsr x y/n #hsr x gender neutral reader #hsr drabbles

[cozyfoxy]

Mystical Paths

Summary: The Howells have been the proud owners of a small but famous bookstore since the 1800s. They are known for being the only shop that collects original copies of magic writings. Dan works as the bookkeeper of the shop. As the busiest season approaches, one of the most renowned magic families reaches out to the shop and offers to gift them an original Spellbook of sorts. Little did Dan know that these offers would change his life forever.

First Chapter

Read on AO3

Genre: AU

NO WARNINGS

In just one week, Howell’s Mystical Enchantments had earned more money than they typically would in a month. Having Philip Lester’s book in their possession had proven to be a true blessing for the family. Dan was incredibly grateful for the gift, but even more so for the protection that Philip had given him. He truly had needed it.

Overall, the book had been very popular and had gone off without a hitch, however, no one had been able to read it yet. Most customers would swear under their breath and storm off when they saw blank pages, others would groan, but thank Dan for his time, sometimes giving him a tip. Some customers though, would get angry, even violent towards the brunette.

The first time it happened wasn’t too bad. The woman whom Dan knew to be a quite powerful alchemist from Ireland had attempted to throw the book to the floor when she was unable to read the pages. The attempt was of course a failure, as the book had stopped just above the floor and leaped into Dan’s hands, perhaps for protection. Dan really had no idea, but it had brought unwanted attention to him from the crowd.

“Well, well, well. I’ve always been told that Howells don’t have magic, eh? I think this youngin just proved they was lying.” An older woman called out from the hood of her cloak.

Dan had stuttered nervously, trying to find a way to explain the truth when a voice that made the brunette think of honeysuckles on a warm Spring morning sounded from the book. “Idiots. The book is charmed! Daniel here is the keeper, the protector. No, he wields no magic himself, that’s our job. Now, I suggest we all calm down before my creator is summoned. He won’t be as gentle as I am.”

Despite his nerves, Dan felt himself smile when the book moved itself back to the pedestal that it had been displayed on. He walked over to the next person in line to take their payment and continued with his day as normal. Well, as normal as he could with such a powerful book in his possession.

The next time a customer had gotten angry, it had been aimed directly at Dan. A taller man, not much older than Dan had tried to read the book and failed. The man had groaned like so many others before him and set the book down, before glaring at the books keeper.

“Your family is filled with lying cunts. No way this book is from the Lester’s. You all are just trying to make a quick buck! Fuck you all, I want my money back!” the man yelled, moving closer to Dan.

Dan swallowed thickly, shaking his head, “I apologize sir but we do not offer refunds here.”

The man laughed, a shrill, nails on chalkboard kind of sound, “Okay, yeah, that’s fine. Then I’ll just have to take it back myself, or get something just as worthy.”

“Okay Leon, let's leave the boy alone yeah? He ain't done nothing wrong, he’s just doing his job. Back off.” another man had called out, grabbing his friend by the shoulder.

Dan watched nervously as ‘Leon’ shook the hand off of his shoulder and began whispering a strange sentence under his breath, something that Dan couldn’t understand. Magic. Dan gasped and jumped behind a book display, screaming when books in front of him suddenly caught fire. The smell made his stomach wretch and chaos erupted around him.

“Leon what the fuck is wrong with you?!” the man’s friend yelled, using his magic to diminish the flames.

“Just getting my revenge.” Leon snarled, walking closer to Dan.

Before Dan even had time to blink, the room filled with a cold fog, and loud shrieks pierced the room. The room was otherwise silent, everyone had paused to get a good look at what was happening once the fog cleared. Some of the customers had pulled out their phones and they were recording what was happening.

Once Dan could get a good look, a gasp passed his lips. The same fox that had originally delivered the book tackled Leon to the ground and stood hard against the man’s chest. Leon looked absolutely terrified of the fox, he was shaking beneath the animal. Everyone around watched in shock when the fox seemed to huff into the man’s ear, and Leon began to glow a sickly green color.

“What? What are you doing?” Dan asked, walking closer to the crowd.

The fox only paused for a moment before pressing both front paws against Leon’s throat, making him yell in pain. With the yell, came a mist from his throat, the glowing green color leaving his body and forming a ball in the air. Dan stared at the ball with the rest of the crowd, covering his ears when the fox suddenly let out an ear-piercing scream; the ball moving towards him. The fox quickly swallowed the ball, seeming to shake its head in disgust before turning to the crowd.

“Let this be a lesson to you all, and anyone who dares to mess with the Howells in any way. I will not hesitate in any circumstance to step in and take control of the situation. You don’t want that, none of you do. And now, poor little Leon Whitlock has no magic, he will be an embarrassment to his family. Well, more than he already was.” the fox spoke in a very familiar voice, without moving its mouth.

Leon’s friend stepped forward, breathing unevenly, “You… you took his magic? That’s not even possible… no one can take magic from other people. Who the hell do you think you are?”

A charming, soft laugh graced the room, the fox moving closer to Dan, “Yes, I took his magic. It is very possible, but only for me, I suppose. And to answer your question, I am Phil Lester.” the fox explained before looking at Dan.

“Are you okay little dove? He didn’t hurt you, right? Just scared you?” Phil’s voice echoed in Dan’s head, making him smile.

“I’m okay, I promise. Just shaken up. Thank you for saving me. I don’t know what I would’ve done without you.” Dan thought back, watching as Phil nuzzled his palm, huffing and nodding before disappearing into thin air. The crowd watched in complete awe, most typing furiously on their phones. Dan was too bewildered to worry himself with what the crowd had just seen, he was too focused on the fact that he had just seen someone have their magic taken.

After the hectic week that Dan had gone through, he couldn’t be more thankful for the weekend. His parents had decided to make it a long weekend, saying that Dan needed a break from working so hard. Normally, Dan would argue with them, lie, and say that he wasn’t overwhelmed; but this time, he agreed. He desperately needed time to be with himself, to worry about himself instead of the magical world that he was thrust into.

He had always been around magic, but not so intimately. He had always watched from afar, getting only as close as needed for his job, but now, Dan felt like a magnet for magical energies. It was as if he could feel the warm buzzing of magic in his lips, in his hands, and his mind. Maybe it was because Phil was able to speak to him through his mind, he must be feeling Phil’s presence.

“You called?” Phil’s voice echoed in Dan’s head suddenly, making him jump.

Dan stuttered anxiously, trying to decide what to say, “Well, yeah I think? I didn’t really mean to subconsciously. Sorry I’ve just had a hell of a week, I’m all over the place. I mean, I’ve been around more magic in the past week than I have in my entire life. It’s a lot to take in.”

Phil chuckled softly, a gentle, warm sound, “I could tell it’s overwhelming for you. I can’t say that I understand, but I do want you to feel more comfortable. It will take time, but you will adjust, magic will just become a normal occurrence in your life. I can’t make the stress go away completely or anything; that’s more of my mum’s specialty. But I can help you calm down and relax if you’d like.”

“How could you do that?” Dan asked out loud, lying on his bed and staring at the ceiling. Maybe he was going insane, talking to a voice that wasn’t there. Sure, magic was real, but could this really be happening?

“I need you to trust me, Dan. I know that’s hard but just try. I need you to close your eyes until I say to open them.” Phil explained softly, a smile clear in his voice.

Dan debated with himself silently. Phil was telling him to close his eyes, but why? Could he trust someone that he didn’t even know? Could Dan really find it in himself to listen to what the strange voice told him? A sigh passed his lips before he allowed his eyes to flutter shut, still facing the ceiling. Phil had proven that he was going to protect Dan, so he wouldn’t do anything to harm him, right?

“Okay little dove, open your eyes slowly.” Phil hummed, pride evident in his tone.

The brunette opened his eyes slowly, gasping loudly when his eyes were met with a midnight blue sky, that enveloped him in what felt like a warm blanket. He could see the twinkling specks of light clearer than ever before. They seemed more like fireflies than stars, close enough to touch. The only sounds that touched Dan’s ear were that of a gentle wind and something that sounded like ocean waves. He could even smell the sea.

Despite his attempt to force his emotions down, tears burned the rims of his eyes as he searched for his favorite constellations. “How?” Dan whimpered, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand. He didn’t even know what he was asking really, he was in complete awe.

Phil chuckled, “Magic Daniel. I am capable of things that most people can’t even imagine.”

Dan shook his head quickly, “no, I mean how did you know this would help me relax?” he whispered, moving into a sitting position.

“Oh, that. Well, it's something that I always do for myself when life gets overwhelming. I kinda went on a limb, but I’m glad you like it.” Phil whispered, sounding unsure for the first time since the men had begun to talk. “Also, I’m… I’m well, here. With you. I know you can’t see me right now, I’m camouflaged, but I’m here. That’s why you’re not hearing me in your head anymore.”

Dan’s eyes widened and he looked around himself anxiously, attempting to find any proof of Phil’s words, “I didn’t even notice I could properly hear you… why are you hiding though?”

Phil placed his hand gently over Dan’s, smiling when a rose pink danced across the other man’s cheeks, “simply because it is not our time to meet entirely. It will happen dove, I promise. But for now, please try to rest. I know you’re exhausted.”

“Yeah… okay, I’ll try to rest. But can you maybe stay until I fall asleep? I feel safer with you here.” Dan whispered, slowly lowering himself back down onto his bed while the night sky continued to move around him.

“Of course, I would never leave you unless you wanted me to. Goodnight my little dove, sleep well.” Phil whispered, shuddering slightly before allowing his camouflage to fall and sitting at Dan’s feet.

Soft snores filled the room before Phil could even register that the man next to him had dozed off. He watched Dan’s gentle, calm breathing in complete awe. How could one person be so incredibly beautiful? Beautiful without even trying to be? Dan was truly a light, brighter than any star that even Phil could create. Despite the rules that Phil had set for himself, rules about waiting for the right moment for everything; he placed a tender kiss on Dan’s hairline.

“Soon, my little dove, you will fly with me again,” Phil whispered, allowing his human form to fade, falling onto four paws comfortably, before running out of the house.

#phan #phandom #amazingphil #dan and phil #phan fic #phanfiction #phan au #phan art #youtuber #dan howell #dip and pip #dnpgames #dnp #dnp crafts #dnp art #danandphil #danandphilcrafts #dan and phil crafts

[bopeisdope]

I posted an Unwind AU fic! It's from a Ghost!Roland au I made up. Read on Ao3 here

Connor wakes up in a haze, unsure of where he is. His whole body has a dull ache and there is pressure over his right eye. A bandage. The smell of bleach penetrates his nose. A soft and constant beep comes from his left.

He peels his left eye open to reveal a hospital room. His right shoulder aches as he moves his hand over the bed. The sheets are soft and feel as cottony as his brain does at the moment. Blinking the cobwebs from his mind he recalls what he can remember last.

The chop shop. The doors closing on him for what felt like the last time. An explosion. A revolt. And Lev, standing over him. That's all he can remember.

A nurse walks in carrying a chart, "So you're finally awake! How are you feeling?"

"Good," he croaks, then tries again. "How long?"

She glances down, "You've been in a medically induced coma for a little over two weeks."

Two weeks? The way his life has been going over the past year, where everyday feels like an uphill battle, two weeks seems like an eternity.

His mind is slowly catching up to him.

Risa... what about Risa?

He's too tired to mask his desperation. "There was a girl," he says, "She was on the roof of the Chop- the harvest clinic. Does anyone know what happened to her?

"That can all be sorted out later," the nurse dotes.

"But-"

"No buts. Right now you need time to heal-and I have to say, you're doing better than anyone expected, Mr. Mullard."

Connor's brain stutters, he must've misheard. "Excuse me?"

The nurse shuffles things around, "Just relax now, Mr. Mullard. Let us handle everything."

His first thought is that he's actually been unwound. He was unwound and his brain was put in another body. But realistically he knows that's not right. The voice he hears is his. He can feel his teeth as he moves his tongue across his gums. He can feel his unkempt hair on his head.

"My name is Connor," he tells her. "Connor Lassiter."

The nurse gives him a mysterious look. One filled with kindness and a deep sense of knowing. It's calculating- disturbingly so. "Well," she says, "as it so happens, an ID with the picture charred off was found in the wreckage. It belonged to a nineteen-year-old guard by the name of Elvis Robert Mullard. With all the confusion after the blast there really was no telling who was who, and many of us agreed that it would be a shame to let that ID go to waste, don't you agree?" She changes the angle of Connor's bed until he's in a more comfortable sitting position and looks into his eye. "Now tell me," she asks carefully, "What was your name again?"

Connor gets it. He closes his eye, takes a deep breath, and opens it again.

"My name is E. Robert Mullard."

The nurse smiles widely and reaches out her hand to shake his. "A pleasure to meet you, Robert."

Instinctively Connor reaches his right hand to reciprocate and gets that same ache in his shoulder.

"Sorry," she says quickly. "My fault." She shakes his left hand instead. "Your shoulder will feel a bit sore until the graft is completely healed."

"What did you just say?"

The nurse looks like she's been caught saying something she shouldn't. "Well, the bad news is that we weren't able to save your arm, or your right eye. The good news is that, as E. Robert Mullard, you qualified for emergency transplants."

Connor rotates this in his mind, letting it sink in. Eye. Arm. Emergency transplants.

She sighs, "I know it's a lot to get used to. I'll let you be alone while I get your lunch." She heads for the door.

"Yeah," Connor replies absently, having focused all of his attention to the arm. "Lunch. That's good."

The arm has a slightly darker complexion than his skin tone and the nails need to be trimmed. It is more muscular than his left; he recalls reading about physical therapy for this type of thing. He touches all of the fingers to his thumb. His sense of feeling is the same. He flexes the fingers. They flex. He twists his wrist. It twists. When he rotates it a bit farther he sees something that makes him stop. His stomach plummets and he feels a surging wave of panic. He doesn't want to believe it. Connor refuses to even acknowledge it. On his arm is the unmistakable tattoo of a tiger shark.

Still reeling from shock, Connor hears a voice he thought he would never hear again. A voice that, given the arm surgically grafted onto Connor, couldn’t possibly be here at all.

"So," the figure sneers, "the Akron AWOL goes into the Chop Shop and lives to tell the tale.”

Roland is leaning against the wall, looking hatefully down on Connor. But once what used to be a whole boy is now a nightmarish apparition covered in stitches. He could almost be real if it weren’t for the gaping hole where his arm used to be. While there is no blood, the wound seems to emit an inky blackness that Connor cannot tear his eye away from.

“H-how…”

“You did this to me, Connor.” Roland’s glare shoots daggers as he moves closer. Suddenly, Connor is acutely aware of his vulnerability, his logical mind is telling him this ghost can’t hurt him, but his heart doesn’t get the message. The monitor to his left starts screaming.

His mouth opens and closes like a fish, “No! You- you should be dead!”

Roland stops at the side of his bed, remaining hand toying with the cord of Connor’s IV. “Don’t you remember Connor?” A malicious grin spreads across his face, “Unwinding isn’t death.”

Paralyzed Connor watches as Roland silently reaches for his arm. “Weren’t you ever taught to share?”

A nurse rushes into Connor’s room, finally coming to investigate the shrill noise coming from the machine beside him. “Your heart rate is through the roof! Are you all right Mr. Mullard?”

Connor turns to where Roland had been mere seconds ago to find him gone. What just happened? Was that… real?

“Oh, I see you took your IV out! You really have to be more careful next time.” His heart rate slows but his mind fires at full speed. When did he take his IV out?

The nurse pats his hand satisfied that he’s all fixed again and goes to leave. “Wait,” he has to make sure he’s not going crazy, “has anyone been in my room since you left?”

Her smile never falters, “No, hun, just me. If you want to see any of your friends you’ll have to wait till after lunch.”

“What drugs did they give me? Would any, um, cause hallucinations?” Her picture-perfect smile wavers, probably rethinking her decision to save some kid who turned out to be a nutcase. “It could be a side-effect from your coma. The brain often tries to fill in gaps or create its own explanations when recovering from a trauma like this. It should wear off after a good sleep.”

Connor is doubtful more sleep could do him any good. He just slept for two weeks straight after all, but he doesn’t want to be here any longer than he needs to be by convincing people he’s insane. He returns a smile to the nurse, “You’re right Doc, thank you.”

—--------

After a hearty lunch of jello and chicken soup, Connor is finally allowed to leave his room to see Risa.

The nurse leads him to her room, most likely glad to be rid of him for a few minutes, and he lingers in the doorway. Risa is in a bed that reminds him more of a dentist’s chair. There are pins and rods supporting her up that Connor recognizes as signs of paralysis, something he’s only read about in textbooks heralding unwinding as the solution to all of your problems. His gut swirls with guilt. Risa didn’t accept unwind parts and she’s much worse off than what he would have been if he hadn’t either. How will he face her like this?

“You have a visitor.” The nurse steps aside and he can see Risa’s face. Her eyes fill with tears and she holds back a sob. “I knew they were lying,” she says. “They said you died in the explosion–that you were trapped in the building–but I saw you outside, I knew they were lying.”

“I probably would have died,” Connor says, “but Lev stopped the bleeding. He saved me.”

They talk of the victory at Happy Jack and the losses taken to get there. He tells her of his coma and new identity. In his happiness of seeing Risa he almost forgets his arm and the demon that came with it until he spots Risa looking at it. He flinches and the bandage shifts, revealing the tattoo. Her breath catches in her throat and Connor turns his head. She’s going to hate me. I mean, how could she not? This arm will always carry him with it.

“Connor…?”

“I promise,” he breathes, “I promise I will never touch you with this hand.”

Risa looks at Connor and he looks back, a broken soul. Connor takes her in, for this might be the last time she will ever want to see him.

“Let me see it,” she says, giving nothing away.

He hesitates, so Risa gently takes it from the sling. “Does it hurt?”

“A little.”

She brushes her fingers across the knuckles of that hand, and her voice is quiet, “Can you feel that?”

He nods. He watches her lift the hand to her face, the palm against her cheek, and she holds it there. When she lets go he decides. He decides what this hand will do. He decides its pressure, its direction, and its intent. And he tells himself he always will have that choice, not his parents, not Proactive Citizenry, and certainly not Roland. His hand brushes a tear from her face, moving down her cheek, across her lips. He takes his hand away and Risa opens her eyes and tightly clasps the hand in hers. “I know this is your hand now.” When she speaks, there is not a single thread of doubt, “Roland would never have touched me like that.”

She pulls him into a hug and he closes his eyes, sinking into her embrace. This moment is for them, after two eternal weeks of not knowing, after surviving the Chop Shop, after escaping the PC’s grasp, they can finally be teens again. There is still much more to do, but at least they will have each other to rely on.

However, a twitch in his arm shatters the peace, and he opens his eyes. Roland peers back at him from the doorway, watching them silently.Doctors and nurses shuffle about, unconcerned about the boy standing in the doorway, for this is not their fight. Connor realizes he’s the only one who can see him, because whether he likes it or not, they are now connected. He suddenly remembers what Roland said before he disappeared as he feels another uninvited twitch in his arm—Weren’t you ever taught to share?

A/n: I hope you guys enjoyed it! Feedback is always appreciated. Also I have a LOT of thoughts about this AU so let me know if you want me to spill lol

#unwind #unwind dystology #connor lassiter #risa ward #roland taggart #fanfic #fanfiction #conrisa

[albywritesfiction]

To be fair, I wouldn't necessarily need Ædan do "come crawling back" (in reference to that other person's ask). But my issue comes from Helene herself. If she's indeed not really a good person (or well, at least with some hidden agenda or manipulation involved that could be detrimental to the kindgom), I think it would be best for it to be discovered as fast as possible. More like for the kingdom's sake than for any form of revenge or whatever - that's really secondary, if at all important.

What makes me sad about this whole thing though, in relation to the "real life fairytale" thing you talked about, is that if it happened Helene was a truly bad person and if that was exposed in an irrefutable way, then I'm certain people would change their tune altogether, and suddenly be like "she was evil in disguise and she tried to corrupt our crown prince, but fortunately her deceptions were exposed", and that they'd suddenly 100% support Ædan going back to his "actual true love" whom he left because of said corruption, and that they'd almost expect the MC to accept him back with open arms.

Well, of course this is all assuming Helene is ACTUALLY bad, not simply a bit manipulative with no evil intentions and stuff like that! But it's always frustrating to see the population have that kind of mindset, with no real regard for the involved people's feelings.

Oh, and by the way, this made me wonder about something! Will it be possible to have a MC who never let go of their feelings for Ædan, and thus would actually NOT romance any of the other ROs, even if this is a doomed story?

Hi again Konoï and Noir!

You raised a lot of really good points that admittedly took me quite a while to figure out how to address (hence the delay, which I apologize for)

Now, how to explain Helene without spoiling her backstory (😅)

Helene doesn't have any bad intentions towards the kingdom or the royal family, like she's not a spy from either of the neighboring empires and she's not part of a group that wants to flip the kingdom on its head or anything like that.

But she is very selfish. She puts her own happiness before anything else and she's willing to do a lot of bad things to make it happen. She doesn't care whose heart gets broken in the process.

So yeah, that's pretty much why I haven't been portraying Helene as a dangerous villain that needs to be ousted immediately from the seat of power that Ædan so (stupidly) graciously granted her.

But it's always frustrating to see the population have that kind of mindset, with no real regard for the involved people's feelings.

Oh yeah, definitely agree with you on that. The way some people can do a 180° so easily, like how do they not feel at least a little bit ashamed or embarrassed

Will it be possible to have a MC who never let go of their feelings for Ædan, and thus would actually NOT romance any of the other ROs, even if this is a doomed story?

Ooh I think this would've been a great idea to explore! I'll have to think about it, since one of the the main questions that I originally wanted to explore in ATE was, "How will MC heal from what happened?" Stemming from this main question are, "Will they take revenge or try to move on? Will they open up their heart again, for their companion this time, or be content to simply remain as friends?", which lead to the 4 endings that I had in mind (might end up being 6 due to an additional and significant decision I still need to explore with Cyfrin)

But I really do like the idea, so I'll think about how to include it 😄 It's like adding, "Or will they even heal at all?"

Thanks for the ask, Konoï and Noir!

#after the end #ate-if #ate-if asks #ate: mc #ate: helene #ate: ædan

[sgrumby]

“How can we breathe?”

“Force field,” Barry replies, his legs dangling over the rim of the TARDIS. “Keeps the bad guys out and the oxygen in. I, uh, wouldn’t be able to answer the phone without it.” He reaches up sheepishly and pops open the hatch on the door to reveal a rotary phone.

Lup gives him a look that he’s beginning to realise means she thinks he’s being tremendously stupid. “Why couldn’t you wire it in to the console? Or install a door so it opens from the inside, even?”

“Hey, have you seen that?” He changes the subject with his usual tact. “Look, wow, supernova.”

She grins and sits down next to him, kicking her feet in the vacuum of space. “It is pretty.”

“I should think so,” he grumbles. “Take a girl halfway across the universe and a million years back in time and all she can do is criticise my phone.”

“I’m just saying, I thought the Time Lords would’ve invented better phones! It’s rotary, Barry, it’s from the sixties!”

“It’s retro,” he insists. “It fits the police box aesthetic. Did you miss where it says PUBLIC CALL on the top?”

“Did you miss where it says PULL TO OPEN?”

“Shut up.”

“Why is it a police box, though?” She asks. “That seems… very sixties. You’d be right at home with my gran.”

“Chameleon circuit got stuck,” he says. “She’s designed to change her outside to blend in. I could fix it but, honestly, I like the blue. Plus, uh, it used to be real hard to find the door on a rock or a tree or - if there was nothing else around sometimes she’d materialise as a blade of grass, or whatever, and then I couldn’t even get out. I’m not sure if she was messing with me, or if she was designed to do that, or - it’s just easier this way.”

“It’s nice, actually,” she says. “Comforting, somehow. It feels sturdy. I can’t imagine it as a rock or a tree.”

He pats the floor next to him, and the engines go dwummmm. “She used to be different inside, too. All white and sterile. She had these big roundels - it was really weird. I don’t know who designed the UI, but it wasn’t good. As soon as I figured out how to redecorate I got on it.”

“You designed the coral?” Lup hadn’t really questioned the organic-looking arches and pillars. They’d been low on her list of priorities when she’d found herself in a time machine, and then the question had just fallen by the wayside.

“Well, I mean, I gave her a brief. I wanted it to feel more comfy, you know? This is my home, not a science lab. Well, it’s a lab, a little bit, but it’s - you know what I mean.”

“Wait, wait, gave her a brief?” Lup looks back in at the console, with its mess of wires and mismatched switches and knobs. She’d assumed that was the result of a few decades of Barry conducting haphazard repairs, but now he mentions it, they do look a little like some kind of sophisticated nervous system. “How sentient is this ship, exactly?”

Barry pulls a face, hesitates, and shrugs. “I dunno.”

“What!”

“Well, like, I told you that she’s soulbound, so she’s intelligent to some extent. I have a degree of control over the interior, and - I always kind of feel like she is. Like, I can do everything right on the console, and I’ll find myself halfway across the universe from where I asked her to go.”

“That’s a broken satnav, Barry, not sentience.”

“But it’s always where I need to go,” he elaborates. “Like, there’ll be someone who needs help, or a distress call, or something neat to go and see. Like this! This supernova. I’ve never been here before, and I basically just told the TARDIS that I wanted to show you something ro - something cool.”

He blushes at his slip, but Lup’s wrapped up in her thoughts.

“So, what, you just said “make me something comfy” and she made big coral pillars?”

“It’s a little more elaborate than that, but yeah, pretty much. I don’t know either, really. She’s… eccentric.”

“And the car seats?”

Barry shrugs again. “No idea. I needed somewhere to sit, that’s what I got.”

Lup hums, unhappily. “Can she see us? Feel us? I don’t like the idea that we’re walking around inside a sentient being.”

“I don’t think she minds. She can lock you out, if she likes. One regeneration I got a haircut she didn’t like and she wouldn’t let me in til it grew out. I was trapped on Gorvon Six for months.” The engine makes another dwummm noise, and Barry scowls. “It’s not funny!”

Lup can’t help but laugh at the expression on his face. “The more I learn the more I realise who’s in charge here.”

“I’m in charge!” He protests. “I’m a Time Lord! You know they used to grow TARDISes like bonsai? In little pots?”

“Oh, you’re getting pushed around by a bonsai?”

“I’m gonna go find Taako,” Barry grumbles. “Maybe he’ll be polite and respectful.”

Lup gives him a look.

“Okay, yeah, fine,” he concedes.

She laughs again and turns back to the star, gleaming brilliantly before them. The light plays across her face, reddy-orange, making her hair seem to glow and her eyes seem to sparkle.

Barry’s seen beauty in the universe. He’s seen nebulae, the births of stars, watched the sunrise on Heloyus, which orbits in a complex path between thirty different suns and, once every ten thousand years, sees a simultaneous thirty-sun sunrise. And yet, somehow, watching Lup…

“Want to grab pizza?” He offers.

“Shit, yes,” she grins. “Alien pizza?”

“Future pizza,” he counteroffers, jumping up from the floor of the TARDIS. “November 18th, 2045. The restaurant opened that day and burned down the next, but it’s the best pizza I’ve ever had. I pretty much singlehandedly earned them their money back, cos I keep parking the TARDIS in different places and ordering takeaway. You should see the look on the delivery guy’s face every time he sees me and my enormous blue box in a different area of London, all on one night.” He holds a hand out to help her up, and she takes it gladly.

“How do you order takeaway! You don’t have an address!”

“I just tell them the street,” he says. “It’s not like there’s a lot of blue boxes lying around.”

She considers that for a second. “Okay, yeah, that’s fair, I guess. What’s your order? Hawaiian?”

He narrows his eyes, hands frozen above the console. “How did you know that?”

“Shot in the dark. You seem like you’d go nuts for pineapple on pizza, is all.”

“What does that mean?”

“Alien tastebuds,” she says with a shrug. “I’ll grab Taako.”

“So rude,” he murmurs, and flips a switch on the console, setting the rotors whirring once again as Lup skips out of the room.

#so. for context. #this is a fic of a fic #@mmmarty is writing a doctor who au and i wrote this based on that #they blame me for it not being finished but i can't read so who's really to blame #anyways #writing #the adventure zone #taz #i really hope i didn't post this before #i wrote it like eight months ago #also congrats to me on my first fic of the year lol

[adoracora-elizabeth]

But Papa! Why? Chapter 36

The sun was warm on his skin, but at least there was a slight breeze, that made this summer day the first one that was barrable he thought. He walked back to the office after a lunch meeting. Due to the fact that the meeting was during lunch time, he had not had time for his daily walk. He knew how important it was, and also that Cora would be mad if she learned he did not walk today. He had tried bringing up the argument that they could exercise at night, but she had not fallen for that. Even though they had enough fun times, he could not be more overjoyed with how they fitted together. Every time it was as magical as it had been that first night. Cora was getting used to him entering her, he still took it slow and the moment he saw a frown on her face he stopped and finished with his fingers. He smiled thinking of their times together. When he looked ahead, he saw a familiar figure sitting on a bench.

"Ros." He exclaimed. "What are you doing outside?"

Rosamund looked up when he came close. "The same thing you are doing, enjoying a little break."

With a sigh Robert sat down. "Finally, the temperatures are nice enough to be outside again. Ugh I hate this heat."

"Do you not just hate every season?" Rosamund joked.

"Hmmmm." Robert thought about that. "No, I do not think so. I just hate all the extremes that we have. Days on end rain, or freezing colds or like now this heat." He chuckled. "Can I ask you something." He asked after a short silence.

"Of course, something bothering you?" Rosamund looked at him.

"Not so much me, but Cora."

"Oh?" Rosamund turned towards Robert.

"Something has happened on the day you and Cora went shopping for your wedding dress."

"What do you mean?" Rosamund asked.

"Cora is a lot clingier since that day. She touches me as soon as she walks by. Every night in bed, she sleeps against me. Before she would sleep on her own side, but now she wants to be close. As if she is scared of losing me or something. Could this be a late shock to her father’s death? Maybe because you are getting married to Marmaduke and our own wedding plans are coming along? Does she realise her father will not be with her and is that why she needs to be that close to me?"

"Have you asked her about this?"

"She says nothing has changed and that she just loves me very much. But it feels different. Her hugs are more intense and her kisses…… Well, that is maybe a bit too much detail." Robert felt his cheeks colour.

Rosamund sight and looked at Robert again.

"Can you go and talk to her? You and Cora have a very good bond and I bet she will tell you what is bothering her." Robert put his hand on Rosamund's.

"I do not have to go and talk to her, Robert." Rosamund answered.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, that I am the reason why Cora is acting this way. Or, well, not really me, but Marmaduke."

Robert fully turned towards Rosamund now and had a frown on his face. "Ros? Dear sis? What do you mean. Why did you say to Cora to feel this way? You know I would never hurt her or leave her."

"Oh Robert." Rosamund chocked up and a tear rolled down her cheek.

"Rosamund?" Robert said shocked, he had never seen his sister cry before. He waited for her to gather herself.

"I had hoped we would not have to tell this to all of you before the wedding day. But I guess there is no other way. Marmaduke has cancer."

Robert did not respond, other than staring at his sister. Did he hear this correctly? Marmaduke was ill. Cora must have found on the day they went dress shopping. All these weeks Cora had walked around with this big secret, without anybody to talk to.

"You let Cora walked around with this secret all this time?" He said in disbelief.

"What? Are you serious right now?" Rosamund said angry.

Robert suddenly realised what a jerk he was. He only thought about his Cora and not that his darling sister had a sick fiancée. He wrapped his arms around her and muttered. "I am sorry." When she pushed herself back, he said. "How bad is it?"

"It had been better if we had a summer wedding." Rosamund said cryptic.

"Is it that bad?" He said taking Rosamund's hand in his.

"Stage four with metastases. We may be lucky that he can still stand when he makes me his wife."

"Why did you not tell me? Or mama? or Papa?"

"We did not want to ruin the fun of this wedding for you all. Marmaduke is not that much at family gatherings, so you all would not notice how ill he is."

Robert was still for a couple of minutes, trying to order what was going through his head. He needed to do something. He was going to arrange Marmaduke's stag do right away. He felt stupid for not following Cora's advice on that. She had known on that day, when she said to him to start thinking about the stag do. "What can I do for you?" He finally asked.

Rosamund shook her head. "Let me go on like I am doing right now. Please do not tell Mama or Papa. Marmaduke and I will when we feel the time is right. For now, we prefer the quiet time we have at home together. Just the two of us."

"Why do you not take some time off, to be with him?"

"Mama would ask me why I am taking time off. And I do not want to lie to her. No just let me be, we will be fine. We have to." Her hand went to her abdomen.

Robert noticed the movement and realised he had seen Cora do that when they talked about having children. "Rosamund." He said very softly. "Are you by any change pregnant?"

Rosamund's head shot in his direction, her eyes big from shock. "Why would you say that?"

Robert nodded in the direction of her hand, and she quickly pulled it away from her abdomen. He gently placed his hand on her leg. "Rosamund, you can tell me. I promise I will not tell anybody."

"We were going to have a boy. I reached my second trimester, and we were about to tell the family. But…… I lost it, I lost the baby. I lost the only thing that would keep Marmaduke close to me." Rosamund started sobbing uncontrollably.

Robert pulled her close and made sussing sounds. His heart ached for his sister. She was always the strong one, nothing could break her. But now tragedy had hit her, hit her hard. First the baby and Marmaduke would follow soon. According to her words.

"What do the doctors say about Marmaduke's health in 3 months?"

Rosamund dapped her eyes with the handkerchief Robert gave her. "What do you mean?"

"Does your dress need a lot of altering? If not, why not marry right away. I promise you that we will get the SkyGarden at any time you want."

"That will cost us a fortune."

"I do not care about the money; you and Marmaduke need to marry right away and not wait for October. Let me arrange this please? Cora knows all the details about your October wedding, together we will make your perfect day happen as soon as possible."

"Thank you." Rosamund rested her head against Robert's shoulder. "Thank you."

#cora crawley #downton abbey #robert crawley #downton #fanfiction #cobert

[thegeminisage]

IT'S. sigh. tng update time. monday we did "the next phase" and "the inner light" and last night we did "time's arrow" parts 1 & 2. for once i actually am writing this the next afternoon lol

the next phase:

i LOOOOVED this one. wow <3 for so long i have been saying THOLIAN WEB and it's NEVER tholian web but THIS TIME IT WAS!!! i kind of wish it had been riker and worf but it HAD to be geordi because of data sorta kinda tracking him down

anyway i do love ro so much so i can't be too unhappy to have gotten her, and it's so nice to see geordi get to do things that arent be creepy with a woman...im really glad they didn't try to do any ro/geordi romance, they were just buds in a situation and they were thrilled to wiggle their way out of it

ro's thots on the afterlife were actually really poignant. it seemed stupid at first, when geordi knew and she knew that they weren't dead, but by the end it really was a nice subtle touch to have her acknowledge that the certainty of her beliefs can't compare to the vastness of the unknown, or the amount of things she doesn't and may never know

absolute BALLER of a time watching the enterprise plan these guys funerals. data doing geordi's was SO sweet because he loves him!!!!! he loves him!!!!!!!!!!!! meanwhile you get to hoot and holler over riker, having fucked ro while they were all amnesia'd, absolutely wracking his brains over something appropriate to say at her funeral.........and then he just plays his trombone instead and she invisibly shoots him in the head. iconique.

the invisible romulan really got me...i THOUGHT that extra was doing a bad job of looking like he wasn't listening to geordi and ro AND THEN HE GOT UP AND WALKED AFTER THEM. extremely cool moment. it was fucking stupid that he tried to shoot them instead of just work with them but it did lead to a cool and terrifying moment where they SPACED HIM??? by virtue of him simply phasing through the wall of the ship. i would have been so terrified of windows after that. like geordi just straight up killed that guy

also, fight scene while the romantic couple blissfully has their date. incredible.

some logistics questions: if they were alive why couldn't deanna feel their emotions? also, if they phase through stuff why do they stick to floors? more questions than answers...

the inner light

you know, this was good actually. i'll admit i was kind of bored at times during this episode, because i don't super care about picard As A Character, so all his tender moments with his wife and family were like eeehh. who cares. and since i like the side characters more the episode that pretty much didn't have them is a bit of a hard sell

THAT SAID. conceptually this popped off. it reminds me of the buffy episode where she's in the nut house or the r*ddit lamp story which hilariously references the star trek episode in the edit. the changes like the tree and the dead plants on their house and the skill involved in picard's flute playing (i wonder if sir patrick stewart can actually play...) were cool to track even if some of the interpersonal moments fell flat, and i REALLY like the actress who played his daughter, i think she did a great job

i normally hate old person makeup but picard's actually looked pretty good until the very end stage lol

one thing i wished for in the end was a little more emotion or even some fallout at all?? which i feel like i say about tng all the time, and i KNOW tos was also guilty of this sometimes, but some tng episodes spend AGES on the scifi technobabble (which is good only if it serves the plot OR adds to the scifi concept presented, and it often does neither) and then feel like emotionally they need another 5 or 10 minutes at the end and it drives me nuts. like, ik they don't cry in this show but he didn't even cry. deanna didn't come in and tell him those memories and that time were still real to him and it was okay to be fucked up about them. no one asked him how long he held onto the memory of his other life before he gave in completely and became kamin. we didn't even get any lines about like "i'll contact starfleet and do everything in my power to help revive their culture" or whatever. just flute scene (which was good!) and then we're done. sigh.

also, i really hate whatever riker has going on with picard. like he's so weirdly overprotective and it doesn't even speak to affection, they way it would with say deanna or worf or one of his other creew mates, it feels infantilizing (making picard seem even LESS competent and compelling than he already does), smothering, and, because it's ONLY with picard and ONLY riker that does this, it doesn't even feel like poignant platonic love-and-duty mixing like in the tos movies where each and every one of kirk's crew is willing to commit crimes and risk their lives to go after spock's body, just because that's how loyalty works. it's so awkward and uncomfortable, i hate it. like i always say tng doesn't have enough displays of affection and then the one time they regularly do have riker displaying concern for another character it's whatever he's doing with picard. like picard is his frail old man grandpa and riker's trying to keep him from wandering off with the car keys. sigh again.

time's arrow:

a massive disappointment. or maybe i can't say disappointment if my hopes weren't high to begin with. i remember reading the summary and thinking "cool, a data episode!" but also "19th century earth? yeesh, sounds holodeck-y," and i was right on both counts.

again it's a problem that we did the s5 finale and then s6 opening in a single night, because it made it feel MUCH longer, and it's also impossible for me to differentiate ebtween the two episodes now. hopefully this is the last time it will work out this way, but generally speaking, aside from the borg episodes, all of tng's two-parters (there may be an exception i'm forgetting) have been uh. not great.

star of this show: DATA'S HEAD. i remember being so disappointed we didn't get to see it in that episode where riker had to carry it around BEING SEEING IT WAS HORRIFIC. i can't believe they put that on television!!!

the emotion stakes of data's impending death were good. i wish they'd mattered! geordi trying to fix him could have had a little more desperation, a little more "i'll cheat fate itself for my friend if i have to." actually the person who showed the most worry WAS picard, and while this was nice, it made no sense that he allowed data to go down to the planet regardless of it, and then...also advocated that they forget data and focus on their mission, even against RIKER'S request to keep looking for him. riker showed concern for someone other than picard and picard was like yeah um whatever. today in picard crimes: advocating for leaving one of his guys behind. sorry to keep comparing him to kirk but EVERY time kirk lost a guy, you felt it. you saw HIM feel it. not even a guy he was close to like spock, even just a little red shirt, you knew he was thinking of the fucking letters he'd have to write to their families, you know? meanwhile picard is just like "um what concern? that was 20 minutes ago, we have scifi stuff to do now."

19th century earth sucked. it DID feel holodeck-y and was only marginally better because at least the stakes here were real, poorly illustrated as they were. like you know data's not gonna die, but instead of focusing on the enemies this episode (and that tall lady genuinely was a bit spooky...too bad she had no lines) we farted around with the most annoying portrayal of mark twain i have EVER seen in my life. we also got cool lines such as beverly saying "cholera wasn't THAT infectious" and the native american guy at the poker table grunting "pale face" at data. super.

guinan was a GREAT change of pace, but we had a golden opportunity to get more backstory on her and got absolutely none of it. that one line about her father intrigued me so much - is this before the borg ate her planet? does she regret not reconciling with him? did he die in that attack? why is she at odds with him? was this why she wasn't at home when they ate her planet? imagine if we had gotten some of it and picard had been tempted to save her whole planet by urging them to evacuate, or at least telling her to spend time with her loved ones while she could...but instead we had to focus on mark twain being ~quirky and randumb XD~

in the end, the consequences of data's head spending 500 years underground were...nothing. except that picard got to leave himself a back to the future 3 message not to shoot the aliens i guess

SPEAKING OF THE ALIENS. did he just WIPE OUT their entire species without a single fucking word breathed about the prime directive? genuinely the aliens who were eating people were cool and spooky. i'd have liked to see more of them and we barely knew what they were and what their purpose was. so much for working it out nonviolently. picard made half an attempt and the lady alien died and he shrugged and was like oh well! genocide it is. add to this to the list of problematic picard stances, including advocation for euthanasia of the disabled, conversation therapy, human trafficking, animal testing, and leaving your guys behind to die. THEY HAVE GOT TO STOP MAKING HIM LIKE THIS. this is killing me. i'm trying my very very best to like him and i hate his ass!!

next time: i, alone, am doing "realm of fear" which i am told is a barclay episode and "man of the people" which seems rapey. i am in total dread. tng is fantastic every once in a great great while, but most of the time i cannot wait for it to be over.

#personal #star trek blogging #tng lb

[joshuaalbert]

tbh i do think changeling jack would have been a better option like. first of all i think just actually sticking to the changeling plot, rather than the antagonists being the changelings and the borg in an alliance that i guess doesn’t not make sense but ultimately brushes aside the changeling stuff at the end probably would have been better, but i also think there’s some potentially interesting stuff in there. again with the caveat that this is kind of operating off of like...not totally changing the setup but trying to do something better with the same beginning.

like ok loose concept 20 years prior to ep 1 beverly picks up this kid while she’s on a mission in the wake of the dominion war and initially doesn’t know he’s a shapeshifter or anything, just that he’s a child who needs help. he’s on her ship for a while and she gets kind of attached to him, especially when he shows an early interest in medical stuff, but at some point she gets confronted by some subset of starfleet that’s after him, and it comes out that he’s a changeling who did something bad in an attempt to escape capture by starfleet and they’re here to take him back.

and like. she’s gotten to know him, and she feels protective of this kid and she believes he was genuinely acting out of fear and possibly reacting to mistreatment, whereas their charges seem. kind of questionable? they feel like the result of paranoia in the wake of the dominion war and she doesn’t trust the people that are going to bring him in to treat him fairly, and she’s already somewhat more disillusioned with starfleet than she used to be because she’s already lost one son to starfleet ideals and is starting to regard jack as another, so that questioning really gets kicked into overdrive here on a broader scale. she makes the choice to protect this kid that she’s gotten attached to and they escape, but they have to go on the run, and that’s why she’s been off the grid for so long. she raises him, and they do their medical thing, but eventually they run into trouble and she doesn’t know where else to turn, so she reaches out to picard and tells him not to involve starfleet (both because they’re potentially compromised but also because her trust in them is still not at an all time high)

and then also since that’s dealing with the dominion war and that story belongs to ds9 i would have loved to bring back sisko (probably like. as at least a 2-3 episode arc, one of which replaces the episode w/ro laren bc i love her and all but she deserved better and we could have made the points that were made there in other ways). like. put him face to face with picard for the first time since the ds9 pilot and have them reassess each other after this time. i don’t know exactly how i’d see that dynamic playing out but i think bringing them back together to try to negotiate a threat would be super interesting AND like. i would really love to see picard going to sisko for advice about fatherhood tbh. maybe picard has read jake’s work and is familiar with the fact that they have a very close relationship so in trying to bond with jack he realizes sisko could be a really good person to learn from, even if they’ve had personal struggles in the past (and even if they’re never like Friends now). idk feels like a way to bring sisko back in and give him some closure that would have worked thematically on multiple levels.

like idk i dont have a whole plot seeing as ive been thinking about this for. not very long. but by focusing more on the changeling plot and giving it personal relevance we can focus on questioning starfleet and the federation, and how having to question these things picard has dedicated his whole life to affects his identity, but ideally to me the conflict would be one that shows the potential for positive change.

#for context the answer to 'why are you writing so many long ass posts' is usually a combination of mild hypomania + writing going badly #so you can just. act on that assumption in the future lmao. #like i said in the last post i dont really like the setup but even with it there were more interesting things that could have been done #and like...idk weird changeling kid jack trying to figure his shit out in the space where the dominion war is over but people are still #kinda weird about people like him is infinitely more interesting to me than specialest borg guy jack #even if ultimately i would prefer that they just. didn't do a secret child plot at all lmao #(as a side note i dont love the ds9 episode that comes to a kind of like. well people will always just be prejudiced conclusion #but i do think there's a difference between 'that's just always how it'll be' and showing people actively making an effort to be better) #i honestly have no idea if anything i've said today makes any sense wahoo but here we are babey!! #pic #picard spoilers #san rant #changeling!jack

[listen-to-the-inner-walrus]

theres a lot of different ways people have illustrated the greed and evil of billionaires from visual portrayals of how big a billion actually is to comparing their philanthropy and how much money they have to highlighting the sufferings of those theyve exploited, and theyre all great demonstrations in of themselves.

but one i dont see quite as often is comparing the charitable works of every day people to that of billionaires. i think part of it is that a billionaire can donate more money to charity in one click of a finger than i can in my entire life, but i think another part is a combination of not wanting to look a gift horse in the mouth while also not wanting to rock the boat.

a great example of that is the fact that you cant criticise mr beast/jimmy donaldson without people pushing it aside with the notion of "hes helping people" or "the guy could cure cancer and youd find something to criticise about it", which are endlessly frustrating and engaging with your criticism in bad faith.

but outside of him, youll see versions of it across the board for any philanthropic rich person. people automatically assume your criticism is coming from a cynical point of view, and often that you dont ever take part in charitable acts yourself.

and it is endlessly frustrating to run into that attitude every damn time like youre a dog running into that same glass door. because there is very valid criticism to be made about it.

because most of the time, these people could use that money to make lasting structural changes. i mean, the UN estimates you could end world hunger with $6billion, but no billionaires attempted to. on a smaller scale, you can build shelters or youth hubs or rehab facilities, or you could invest in ongoing work to help people out of poverty or improve local education or help people get better healthcare. or even just put your money where your mouth is and financially back the people trying to make these structural changes.

but these so-called philanthropists dont because systematic changes arent what they actually want. theyre this rich because of the system.

and their philanthropy is a form of propaganda; they want you to think the system is unchangeable and that your only options for improving your life is working yourself to the bone or for some kindly rich person to take pity on you and just hand you the money you need. the system is fucked, but the rich are good people who just want to help. this isnt some hot take, ro ramdin made a great video about mr beast specifically regarding this sort of thing. müne cat also has a video about it which is basically a 30 minute rant from her stream.

i know why you dont see the comparison of billionaire philanthropy to every day charity that often, and its because you have to preface the entire thing with the explanation that i just had to make, because most people dont want to think further than "give money to charity is good". i think part of that is people not realising everything is political, but thats a discussion for a different post.

originally, i started writing this just to get something out of my head. two days ago, i asked my mom if she still had the trumpet i accidentally stole from school (long short story) because id been thinking about the fact like, i could flog that for £200 and £200s a good bit of money. during the conversation, it came up that one of our neighbours had bought an empty guitar case from a charity shop for a fancy dress party, and all thoughts of flogging it were suddenly gone from my mind.

because it reminded me that i could donate it to a charity shop or find a local musical program aimed towards giving poorer kids a chance to learn how to play an instrument. and like, how could i flog it when i could do just a little bit of good with it.

a similar thing happened with these big marvel pictures i had in my room as a teenager. idk how much money theyd go for but they werent cheap when we bought them. but then my mom found this local charity where you could donate items that theyd then auction off and that money went directly to the local foodbank, and so thats where they went.

and this isnt for me to be like hey how good of a person i am; i do not give a shit about that. its about the fact that this mindset is directly opposed to that of billionaires and to neoliberalism in general.

you cant earn a billion dollars by being a good person, we all know that. but i do think a great illustration of it is to compare those billionaires with the people who run your local food bank or run charity drives or the people who put free period products in public bathrooms or the local deli owner who lets unhoused people eat for free.

#kai rambles #this is just #i had some thoughts #and i wanted to get them out #so enjoy this ramble

[aequitas-if]

hiiiiii, are u still doing the emoji asks?? if so, can u pretty pls (with 🍒 on top) 💘💓💗 for the RO's

im excited for ur if :> hope u have a very nice dayyy! 😊

I’m glad that you’re excited about the IF! I am still doing the emoji asks so keep sending them in!

💓 BEATING HEART - what gets their heart racing?

Alex: Small things. Like MC remembering to make her tea in the morning instead of coffee or writing her mission reports when she’s busy.

Jasper: Making the MC smile. Whether it’s because they are laughing with or laughing at him, seeing them happy makes his heart skip a beat.

Zoe: MC living their everyday life. MC folding the laundry or cooking breakfast-domestic things- that makes her remember why she sees humanity as something incredibly precious.

Rowan: Fleeting touches. A pat on the shoulder here, a brush of the arm there- seeing that touching him has become something casual to MC makes his heart skip a beat.

💘 HEART W/ ARROW - what traits do they look for in a relationship? do they believe in love at first sight?

Alex: In a relationship, Alex looks for understanding. Knowing at the end of the day, no matter what, she’ll be able to go home to someone who loves her.

She doesn’t believe in love at first sight. She believes that love is something that develops over time.

Jasper: In a relationship, Jasper looks for friendship. He doesn’t just want a lover-he wants a friend. Someone he can rely on no matter what.

He doesn’t believe in love at first sight. He’s a scientist- he knows that belief is illogical. But he does believe in true love in a sense. That sometimes people are just meant to be.

Zoe: In a relationship she looks for someone to enjoy life with. Someone that is willing to see the beauty in humanity just as much as she does.

She does believe in love at first sight. She loved MC at first sight, although it wasn’t romantic as she loved all of her teammates at first sight. She knew that they would be important to her. Her love for MC just happened to turn romantic.

Rowan: In a relationship he looks for loyalty. Someone who will have his back and stick with him no matter. Someone who sees all the bad parts and still stays.

He doesn’t believe in love at first sight. He believes that it’s something that needs to develop over time.

💗 GROWING HEART - if they have a crush, is it noticable? what changes when they're in love?

Alex: It’s not really noticeable if Alex has a crush. She tries to stay professional no matter who she is speaking to and the includes the people she is attracted to.

When she is in love, Alex takes more time out of her day to do things/speak to her lover. Setting out a coffee/tea in the morning or just sending a text telling them that she loves them.

Jasper: It’s both incredibly obvious and hard to notice when Jasper has a crush. When he was younger, Jasper had a crush on nearly any woman that breathed in his direction and would trip over his own words whenever he talked to him. Now that he’s older, his feelings are kept closer to his chest.

When he’s in love, Jasper is willing to slow down. Soft conversations, slow strolls in the park, slow dancing around the apartment, etc.

Zoe: It’s pretty obvious when Zoe has a crush. She gets flustered more easily and trips over her words. She lights up when the person of her affections walks into the room or smiles at her.

When she’s in love, Zoe is more willing to settle down. Earth and humans are still endlessly fascinating but nothing will ever catch her attention more than the love of her life.

Rowan: It’s almost impossible to tell when Rowan’s in love because he makes a point to cover it up. He sees love as a weakness- something someone will take advantage of. So he wants to avoid it.

When he is in love Rowan is more likely to be vulnerable. A soft smile here or there, a pat on a shoulder after a successful mission, quiet words and insecurities shared in the darkness of the night. He’s more willing to open up.

#aequitas #my characters #ros #ask me questions #ask #anon ask #my if

[nicolewoo]

Cub Part 11

Pairing: Roman Reigns X Reader

Synopsis: Roman, Seth and Dean are a pack of werewolfs. Protecting their city from the scumbags of the world ends up with a surprise when a victim left for dead imprints on Roman Reigns.

Part 11: The Morning After

When I woke, my pack was in the room. Roman and Dean were holding my hands while Seth sat on the foot of the bed gently rubbing my blanket covered lower leg.

“Hey! There she is!” Seth said, sitting taller as he saw me wake.

The meds had me groggy, but I could feel soreness all over my body.

“How you feeling?” Dean said at the same time that Roman asked. “How are you?”

The pain was bad, but my pack’s care warmed my heart. “I’m ok.” I answered but had to admit I wasn’t too sure about that. Roman stood, kissing me gently.

“Want something for the pain?” Roman asked.

I inhaled, surveying my body. If I didn’t move, it didn’t hurt. “Maybe just some Aleve or something.”

Seth popped out of his chair, coming back with two little pills and some water. “This isn’t gonna be enough.” he said.

“I’ll let you know if it’s not enough.” I replied.

Silence filled the room as I took the pills. Even just swallowing hurt. Seth may be right that I’ll need more than an OTC, but I’d hold off as long as I could. I tried to sit up but yelped when muscles moved.

“Hold on.” Ro and Dean both took an arm and helped pull me up. As I leaned back against the headboard, relief flooded me. Not from the Aleve, but from not moving. “Ok?” Ro asked.

“As good as can be expected.” I answered.

“So, you feel shitty” Dean said, and I had to admit it was the truth.

“Ok, shitty” I answered him. I could feel a bad emotion from Dean; one that seemed familiar, but I couldn’t name it. “What’s wrong?” I squeezed his hand and looked into his eyes.

Dean hung his head. “I’m so sorry. I did my best.”

Ignoring the pain, I pulled him onto the bed beside me. “What are you sorry for? You did it.”

Dean shook his head no and a tear fell from him, but Seth was the one who answered. “He’s upset that you woke while still changing.”

Puzzled, I looked from brother to brother to mate. “No. I didn’t.”

Roman pulled my hand up to his mouth, kissing the back of it. “Cub, do you remember when you first woke up? You were in a ton of pain.” Of course I remembered. I couldn’t forget.

“Yeah.” When nobody answered I said, “That was just after I turned.”

Dean shook his head no. “No. You were still changing. I’m so sorry.”

I pulled Dean closer to my side and tried to snuggle up to him…as much as I could with the soreness. “Dean,” When he didn’t answer, I repeated. “Dean, Look at me.” He reluctantly did. “It’s ok. It’s over. I made it through, because of you, and I know you did your best.”

Seth spoke up, “Like I said, Deano, you had a whole medical team helping you. It wasn’t just your decision. Cub doesn’t blame you. None of us do.”

That feeling. What Dean was feeling, I could identify it now. Guilt. “Come here” I motioned for Dean to hug me. “It’s ok.” I whispered to him. “I’m not mad. Not at all. Go ahead, read my mind or whatever you guys do.”

I felt Dean tentatively approach my mind. Truthfully, I had no idea what to do, but I willed my love and admiration to broadcast to his mind. It probably wasn’t helping, but I tried. Then I felt him relax. He saw… felt…. Whatever. He knew I wasn’t mad, and I felt his relief. He backed out of our hug a bit and pushed his forehead to mine.

There was a moment of pure happiness, followed by the thought that I didn’t deserve his love, my pack or this new life. Dean immediately tensed. “Hey, hey hey.” Dean said, putting a finger under my chin and forcing me to look at him. “Shhhh. Stop. Stop. You DO deserve us. We don’t deserve you.” I felt his emotions. He was calming, accepting, understanding.

I expected Dean to tell me I was over-reacting, I was overdramatic, I was being childish…. The same things I’d heard all my life, but instead, Dean felt love, care and acceptance. I looked at Seth and Roman, trying to sense their emotions. I tried reaching out to them with my mind, but they came to me instead. “Cub,” Seth said. “We love you. Even more now that we can read your mind. I’ve never met anyone so nice and sweet.”

“You’re absolutely perfect, Cub.” Roman said as he sat on the bed next to me, on the other side of Dean. Seth piled onto the bed too, sitting by Roman.

I could feel their honesty; their admiration; their love, and I broke down crying in joy. The guys soothed me, wiping my tears away and laughing in our joy.

“Never again, Baby.” Roman kissed my temple. “You’ll never feel unloved again.” He soothed.

Shay rushed into the room. “What’s wrong?” Seeing us all trying to group hug on the bed stopped her in her tracks.

Seth answered, “Nothing Shay.” He wiped a happy tear off his cheek. “Nothing at all.”

@mindofasagitarius   @lclb13 @serenityfiretrash @lustyromantic @reigns-5sos @bigpsychicbagelauthor @omg-im-such-a-masochist @marlananicole @wickedsunfire @starwithaheart @spookys-girl @pitlissa22

#roman reigns #seth rollins #dean ambrose

[nacregames]

Hi! Yesterday was my birthday so it got me thinking, How does the JV ros spend their birthday? And how would they like to spend the day when is MC's birthday? Thank you so much :)))

Hiyaa happy belated birthday, anon! Normally I’d cut the answer short, but since it’s for your birthday and I’m at work, I’ll indulge you :D

also have a little birthday Clay as a treat UwU

sooo starting with the JV ROs:

Please don’t remind Clay that he’s nearing 40. It’s depressing to know and he doesn’t particularly care for his birthday, but unfortunately his mom and sister won’t leave him alone. So basically he’s forced to acknowledge the fact that he’s getting older while being stuffed with cake and gifts he doesn’t know what to do with. Begrudgingly admits that he likes to celebrate with his family and would take MC to see them if it was their birthday. There’s no escape.

Chal never thought of her birthday as being something special until her former partner convinced her otherwise. Ever since then, she likes to treat herself with sth nice and would like to spend it with MC and her closest friends. It’s the same when it’s MC’s birthday.

Arrow never celebrated his birthday ever before, so he’d be quite excited about it. He doesn’t have any particular expectations, but he’d like to spend the day with his friends. Would def ask the others for help and throw MC a big party if it was their birthday!

Mel likes to party with her close friends on her party and she’d throw MC a party as well. But nothing too fancy, it would be small, casual and cozy.

Mercy likes to pretend that they don’t care about their birthday, but they secretly would be soo hurt if someone forgot. They don’t need a big party or anything, but a bit special treatment, a nice evening with their SO and maybe a little meaningful gift, that’s all they ask for. Same goes for MC’s birthday!

Candy hates her birthday. She’d be a lot more aggressive than usual, because like too many things in her life, her birthday brings back bad memories. Reminds her of all the things she couldn’t have and never will either. She’d be okay to spend the day with MC for a change. Wouldn’t do anything special for MC’s birthday, unless they proposed to do sth together and would probably just give them a gift that reminded her of them.

Lei would love to spend the time with MC and even if it was his birthday, he’d treat the MC. Would do anything they wanted and make sure they have the best time of their life.

and for those who are curious abt the MS ROs:

Camus doesn’t care for his birthday and if the MC asked him what he wanted, he’d use the opportunity to keep them for himself for the whole day. If it was their bday, he’d pretend not to know, to the point where MC probably cried only to find out that he has actually prepared a surprise for them. 

Lilith would never say anything, but ofc she’d find it nice to spend her/their birthday with MC. But only them and no one else.

Gab gives zero fucks about her birthday or anyone else’s for that matter.

Falito would make sure that MC knew it was his bday just in case and do all the preparations himself. He’d also do sth special for MC, depending whether they’d prefer a party or some quality time with him. He’d also make sure to be extra nice and let them get away with all their teasing/trolling/ whatever they’re doing to make him mad.

It would be important for Polly that her SO remembers her birthday, but that’s about it. Aaand maybe a heartfelt gift, but really she’s very easy to please. Would ask her granny to bake a cake for MC and invite their friends for a small party if it was their bday.

Doesn’t matter whether it’s his or their birthday, Mac and the MC will spend the day with his family and maan they’re getting pampered. They’re also allowed/forced to wear the birthday crown for the day.

Ara would throw a big ass party for MC and make their every wish come true. If it was her birthday, she’d like to spend it with friends and family. Wouldn’t mind if MC threw her a party as well, but that’s optional.

#camus being a complete ass confirmed again #birthday #ros #reactions #ms #jv #fluff #hope you had a nice day <3

[cheerstotheelites-if]

What are the ROs playlist titles? How do they change in the future?

I thought you meant their actual Spotify playlists for a moment 😭 Added songs/playlists for the vibes I'm going for on what I think the RO's would have in their latest playlist(s). The playlists here are different than the Spotify playlists just so you know. //TW: Self-deprecation and self-loathing on Zeph's portion

Weylyn: He only has one playlist that was originally named 'Weylyn's Awesome Playlist'. Mind you, he was 10 at the time he made that and it was full of mainstream pop songs of the time. He changed it 3 years later to 'xD' and changed the songs to full of EDM like Skrillex and Zedd. The name was changed again 4 years later to just 'Biscuit Time' and the entire playlist was changed to local indie and alternative songs, and it hasn't changed again since.

Fleur: Like Weylyn, she only has one playlist that's just named 'Playlist #1'. It's surprisingly full of cutesy songs... for some reason. The name and content hasn't changed, and only more cutesy songs keep getting added because of Cooper's occasional recommendations. Just imagine this intimidating woman with earphones on and just listening to something like MAMAMOO's Waggy on repeat, and no one would even know.

Zephyrine: She has two playlists at max named 'Vibes' and 'Ow' respectively. The first playlist is of course full of comfy good vibes when she's having a good day and her main one she listens to. The latter is more of a vent playlist when she feels guilty for her SAD and just needs an hour or more to cry. 'Ow' was formerly named to 'it's your fault again gods above stop being so fucking insecure you pathetic bitch' before she changed it a year ago to what it's currently named.

Eliseo: I see Eliseo with just one playlist that just says "Fuck It We Rocking" and that would be his main. It was originally named "Screamo Time Bitch", that's just full of screamo music until he turned 15 and encountered pop punk and other genres of rock. Currently his playlist is full of pop punk and rock/soft rock music that dabbles in the emo genre just a tad bit.

Cooper: His is... questionable. It's only a single playlist simply named '😃' and hasn't gone through any name transition in its 6 year lifespan. It's full of hyperpop, some dark ones mixed in (something along the lines of Kikuo's Vocaloid songs), and this for reasons I don't even want to know. My man has weird taste, and I honestly vibe with it.

Ophelia: I'm sure this lady has a lot of playlists for certain occasions with varying genre, but her main one is named 'my go to'. It was formerly named 'favorite child' for a moment. The reason why it got changed is because she kinda felt bad for her other playlist children and didn't wanna show favoritism. The playlist is full of comforting indie and mostly chill lofi to help when she feels over stimmed or extremely anxious and needs to calm down.

#RO ask #curious anon #Weylyn #Fleur #Zephyrine #Eliseo #Cooper #Ophelia #tw self deprecation #tw self loathing

[joy-of-life88]

Can I love again? [a Roman Reigns story] 15 Past and future

"Okay, Mr. Reigns. Here we are. Make yourself comfortable." I said as I closed the door to my apartment behind us.

Roman looked around and gave me a puzzled look.

"It's a lot smaller than I would have guessed." he said as he kept looking around.

"Well. I don't need much space. I moved here about six months after the accident. At the same time, I changed back to my maiden name. I sold our house because I just couldn't take it anymore. There were just too many memories, you know. I donated most of their stuff. That way, others still got something out of it. And I don't need material things to remember them. There are very few things that I kept," I explained to him as I walked over to my dresser where the framed pictures of them were.

With a sad smile, I looked at the pictures. The one of James and me on our wedding day and the one from the day we brought Eric home from the hospital. And so many more wonderful pictures. There were days when I could not look at these pictures. But by now I realized that it was getting easier and easier. I was very grateful for that, because to be honest I never thought it would get easier.

Roman stepped behind me and wrapped his long arms around my waist and rested his chin on my shoulder. I put my hands on his arms and took a deep breath. He had been such a great help in my grieving process without either me or him even realizing it.

"You are such a strong and impressive woman, Y/N. I know you probably don't think so, but it's true." Roman said, giving me a kiss on the temple.

"You're right. I don't think of it that way. But thank you anyway. I appreciate it." I replied laughing, turning my head to the side so I could give him a proper kiss.

We stayed like that for a while. No words were necessary. We just enjoyed the closeness and the silence. On the road it was rare that we had time for ourselves during the day. It was often hectic and noisy. This was a nice change of pace.

"Would you like something to drink or eat?" I asked after a while.

"No, I'm fine. I ate something at the airport." he replied.

The day flew by. It was really nice to have time just for us, away from work and our responsibilities.

Roman had just been on the phone with his mother when I was cutting the vegetables for dinner. Then he suddenly stood next to me and held the phone out to me. I looked at him questioningly.

"Mom would like to talk to you." he said softly.

"Oh... um, okay." I said in surprise, wiping my hands on the dish towel before taking the phone in my hand.

"Hi Pat, how are you?" I asked.

"Hi, sweetheart. I'm doing fine. I was actually going to ask you this though. How are you? I know we just met, but I want you to know that you can come talk to me anytime." she replied quickly. I think she was a little insecure. She was just as sweet as her son.

"Thanks Pat, I really appreciate it. And I'm feeling a lot better. It's getting a little easier every day. Due in no small part to your great son." I explained and then put my hand to his cheek.

Roman looked at me with his big brown eyes and I saw his dimples appear as he smiled proudly at me.

I spoke with his mother for a few minutes until we said goodbye. She wished us a good week before repeating that she could be called at any time.

"Tell me, Romeo... Is it possible that your mother knows that I have a bad relationship with my parents?" I wanted to know.

"I think she sensed that was the case after I told her your parents live far away and that you've been handling everything on your own. She probably wants to take over this task. If that's too pushy for you, I'll tell her to back off," he replied while scratching the back of his neck.

"You take after your mother so much, Ro. You're both very protective. Which I think is very nice, by the way. I love you. And I already like your mother very much. I don't have the best relationship with my mother, so I think it's wonderful to have your mother in my life," I said.

"I love you, too. And I'm sure my mother does, too." he replied, laughing.

I took a step closer to him and put my arms around his neck. Roman looked as if a weight would fall from his shoulders. He was probably worried that his mother was going a little too far. But I found it touching. Probably his whole family was so compassionate. I could tell that family was everything to them and it made me proud that they obviously already counted me as family. And that after only 3 months.

----------------------

"Roman? I'm back!" I called as I came back to my apartment after having something to do in the morning.

"Hey angel. I missed you." he said as he came over to me and kissed me.

"Are you ready to go?" I wanted to know afterwards.

"Yeah sure. Are you going to tell me where you want to go now?" he replied as he took the key from my hand and locked the door for me after we walked out.

I took a deep breath while closing my eyes briefly to collect myself.

"We're going to visit Eric and James," I said as we made our way to the car.

It wasn't long before we arrived at the cemetery and I took Roman by the hand to take him to the eternal resting place of my two men. In my other hand I held a bouquet of peonies. These had been James' favorite flowers.

"Today it has already been three years. Three years... hard to believe. I come here often, but this day is especially important to me. Just like on their birthdays. However, this is the first time that I brought someone with me. Before, I always preferred to be alone. So I could give free rein to my feelings. But now... thanks to you, I've come to the point where I can bear it without breaking down.

Being reminded of their death will always hurt. I will always have scars on my soul because of it. But I think I'm finally ready to accept everything that happened that day. And I owe that mostly to you, Roman. And no matter what else is written in the stars for us... I will be forever grateful to you. Loving you makes it hard to be sad. And I don't want to be sad anymore. I want to have a future with you.

I know we've only been together three months, but it's feels a lot longer to me. In a good way. The best way. I thought you should know that." I explained to him as I put down the bouquet, my eyes fixed firmly on the white marble tombstone. The golden letters glittered lightly in the glow of the sun.

"I am glad that you trust me so much, angel. I promise you that I will always be by your side. Words are not enough to tell you how much I love you and how important you are to me. These three months were just the beginning. And one more thing... I want you forever. It may be too soon right now, but I want you to know that I already have plans for our future," he replied as he took me tightly in his arms.

My gaze broke away from the tombstone and met the most loving gaze imaginable. With every fiber of my being I knew that this man was sent to me by my angels to help me get over my past.

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