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lovingmattysposts · 4 months

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Eastside 12

P2 P3 P4 P5 P6 P7 P8 P9 P10 P11 P13 P14 P15 P16 P17

summary: growing up in the outskirts of Boston wasn't really pretty. Life wasn't that great for most people, most people. You had Matt and no one fucked with you when Matt was standing by your side. The chief's daughter and the bad boy deliquent. A perfect love story?

warnings: sad, mentions of bad home life, drugs

y/n pov

I don't know why I was here. I guess it was like clockwork in my brain. It's like I blocked out every single thing that my mind has been racing with and knew that it was Friday, at 8. So here I was at the tracks. On the Eastside.

I wasn't expecting Matt to come. In full honesty, I didn't want him to show up. This was more of a moment for me. It was weird, being here without wanting or expecting him to show up.

Looking off onto the old rusty tracks thinking off all the old memories that were shared here. I guess the only thing that really made me happy were the tracks, because those were all the good moments with him.

Back when I would sneak out and see him running up to him, a smile plastered on his face and he would pick me up and kiss me. Two teenagers just in that gut wrenching type of love. Back when the only think we had to worry about was being caught kissing like there was no tomorrow, not even imagining there would be a time where we wouldn't be together.

But I guess that's what young love was. Your first love, when you would die before breaking up, thinking it would last forever, but it never does. First loves are amazing, but they weren't meant to last forever, I guess I just never wanted to be apart of that narrative.

I wanted forever with him, I still do. That's what hurts the most. The logical side of me wants to write him off as my first love, knowing first loves hurt. But the part of me he always brought out, wanted us to be that one in a million love, where we do end up together. Where we end up with that white house.

I just don't know how to let this go. Let him go. Because I never thought I would have to. Like he always promised would never happen.

It wasn't hard to be mad at him. I could see myself being angry with him for cheating on me for the rest of my life and feeling no guilt about it. It's what he took away from me is something that I couldn't stand. He took my person away from me, he made me feel crazy. He lied to me.

That was something harder to understand.

I told him everything that's ever happened to me. Every thought that crossed my brain without a second thought and he was keeping an entire second life away from me.

He was dealing drugs, sure whatever. We could have gone through that together. We could get passed that. But cheating on me? That was something I would like to see myself moving past, but the truth was I couldn't. Because in my brain, I couldn't see how he could mean everything he's said to me, while also hooking up with other girls. That didn't make sense.

So it meant I had to move on. I had to let him go, because he wasn't the Matt I had seemingly imgained in my brain, no. It was a total stranger.

I hated to say it, but maybe my dad was right. I shook my head at the thought. I knew Matt. I know I did. I just don't understand and I guess I never will.

Graduation was coming up soon. Then I could leave. Get out of this town alone. Move on.

I heard some sticks crack next to me. I looked up quickly, in fear. I locked eye with the one person I hated the most. The person who ruined everything for me.

She held her hands up.

"I'm not Matt" Cecilia breathed looking down at me. I shook my head as I looked away from her. "Go away Cecilia" I whispered looking down at my shoes. She sighed as she ignored my request as she sat down next to me.

"I see why you like this place. It's peaceful out here" She stated softly as she looked around us to the woods and overgrown grass surrounding the gravel around the tracks.

"You know i've lived here my whole life and have never been to the tracks?" She said looking over to me. I didn't turn to her, I didn't say anything as she spoke. She took in a breath.

"It's a nice escape" She whispered. I scoffed shaking my head. "What are you doing here Cecilia?" I asked shaking my head at her. She looked at me biting her lip as she scanned my face.

"I don't know" She breathed pulling her knees up to her chest. I just looked at her trying to figure her out, trying to figure out her motive. Still on edge from everything that happened, I didn't trust her.

"I felt like I needed to apologize" She said looking over at me with pity all over her face. It almost made me sick. I shook my head as I turned back straight. "Don't bother" I mumbled. She pursed her lips and nodded.

"I see why Matt likes you" She stated. "I didn't know him very well, but I'm not an idiot" She breathed. I looked over to her, listening to her. "I only saw the angry drug dealer side of Matt. But when I saw him with you, I saw something different. I saw him smile" She chuckled. I let out a breath, slightly smiling and then letting it fall.

"You're a badass, but you're kind" She shook her head looking at me. I glanced up at her. "A combination I never really got down" She sighed leaning back slightly. I pushed my hair behind my ear as the cold air moved between us.

"I grew up over here, with my brother Landon and I guess i've never seen anyone like you around" She stated. "I always looked up to him in a weird way?" She shook her head scrunching her nose. "Always hung out with him at the old warehouse with all his older friends. They weren't that nice to me, but I never said anything because they were the only people I had" She said. I furrowed my eyebrows as I watched her.

"I never went to high school. I never had a girl friend. Only my older brother and his dickhead friends who only looked at me like a piece of meat" She chuckled, but then her smile dropped slightly as she looked down at her lap.

"So naturally when he got involved with Slim, he got involved with the drug business" She said looking over at me. "So that meant I was too" She sighed. I shook my head looking at her.

"Why are you telling me all of this?" I asked looking at her. She sighed as she pushed her hair out of her face. "I don't know, I guess after I saw what the video did to you--" She shook her head.

"I saw something I'd never seen or felt before" She breathed. I just watched her. "Love" She stated looking at me. "I guess I didn't really know what that looked like, so showing you that video I just wasn't thinking I--" She bit her lip.

"I just didn't know love like that existed" She breathed. I sighed looking down nodding. "You've never been in love?" I asked quietly looking up at her. She stared straight in front of us, then slightly shook her head.

"I don't even really know what it is" She whispered looking down. My face turned and I almost felt bad for her. The way she looked at the ground in hurt.

"In the most non-creepy way possible" She breathed looking up at me. "Slim asked me to keep an eye on you after you say Pallo at the tracks" She admitted. "I saw you with your dad" She shook her head and then looked over at me.

"Y/n, he loves you" She shook her head looking at me, making me smile slightly. "I guess I was jealous" She sighed pressing her chin against her knees.

"I never had that. My dad left once he had me, and then my mom got hooked on drugs and overdose. So it was just Landon and I for the longest time" She breathed. "He was all I had" She said closing her eyes.

"But he's put me in positions that I wouldn't put my worst enemies into to" Her voice broke, and I saw tears come to her eyes. "I don't think that's love" She whispered closing her eyes and letting a tear run down her face.

I swallowed. Not really knowing what to say. I hated her. She basically ruined my life, but she was just a young girl, just like me who just lived a completely different life. She didn't know any better. I couldn't imagine what's she's seen or been through that aren't even in my darkest nightmares.

I sighed and wrapped my arms around her and leaned my head on my shoulders. She stiffened against me when she felt me hug her. She leaned up slightly making me lift up off of her.

"I guess I'm just sorry for everything that's happened" She breathed looking at me, tears in her eyes. I nodded. "I forgive you" I said looking at her, making her smile slightly.

"Do you even want to be doing what you're doing? With the drugs and stuff" I breathed looking down at the rocks beneath us. She let out a breath. "I don't really get a choice. I live with Landon and Landon's scared of Slim like everyone else, he just does whatever he says." She shook her head.

"So wherever Landon goes, I go. There's not another option" She stated. I pursed my lips as I looked at her. "So to answer your question" She said looking over at me. "I hate it" She shook her head.

"I wanna go to a formal dance" She said looking at me, smiling. "I wanna fall in love." She said looking down. "I hate the life I have" She swallowed. I just watched the broken girl in front of me, my heart hurting for the position she was in.

"There's always a way out" I said pushing her shoulder. She smiled up at me softly. "You're cute, but you're návie" She said shaking her head. I sighed looking down. Slightly feeling a weight come off my chest from this conversation.

"I imagine your boyfriend is going through the exact same thing right now. Looking for a way out" She said looking over at me. "It's why Slim had such a big group of people behind him" She said. "They are all too scared to stand up to him, so they just stay in fear of getting killed" She shook her head

I shook my head. "We're not together anymore" I mumbled looking down. She went silent next to me before taking in a breath. "I felt bad when I first saw him walk in, because he had no idea what he was getting himself into" She said quietly. I looked up at her.

"Can I ask you a question?" I whispered. She looked over at me and nodded. "Do you--" I sighed. "Do you really think he cheated on me with all those girls like he said he did?" I whispered. She scanned my face for a second before biting her lip.

"You want my honest answer?" She asked. I nodded. She shook her head. "No" She said looking down. "If he wasn't with you, he was dealing with some bullshit Slim made up" She said. I stayed silent next to her.

"So realistically wise, he wouldn't have the time" She said letting out a breath and looking over at me. "But all of that out-of-factor--" She said raising her eyebrows. She shook her head, slightly smiling.

"No" She said again. I sighed looking down at my feet. "You know him better than me. So what do you think?" She asked looking down at me. I shrugged.

"A part of me doesn't believe he would do that to me. But the other part didn't think he would keep being a drug dealer from me either" I said honestly. She sighed.

"It's a tricky situation" She stated. "You're his girlfriend, so he wants to protect you and you're the chief's daughter--" She chuckled next to me, making me smile slightly. "Those two factors playing against each other, it doesn't suprise me that he kept that from you" She shook her head.

"He loves you, he only would want you to see the good parts of him. Not the bad and ugly" She shook her head. I nodded. Now that she was putting it that way, it kind of made sense to me.

"Plus you're a little too soft to be in this scene" She smiled pushing my shoulder. I scoffed looking over at her smiling. "Soft?" I gasped pushing her shoulder. She laughed and turned away. I smiled and shook my head.

"Can I be honest with you?" I asked looking over at her. She smiled and nodded. "I just told you my entire life story so nothings off the table" She shrugged chuckled. I smiled and nodded.

"I've never really had a girl-friend either" I said honestly nodding looking at her. She raised her eyebrows. "It's always been me and Matt and his brothers since I was in middle school. And my dad of course" I said shaking my head. She smiled and let out a breath.

"Yeah, but they are all good male-influences. Trust me when I say that makes all the difference" She said shaking her head. I nodded and looked down. "But" She said making me look up at her.

"I guess we're not all that different after all" She said smiling. I nodded. "I guess we aren't" I said looking at her.

"This is so middle school, but I don't know how else to say this" She sighed looking at me. "But do you wanna be friends?" She asked smiling, making me laugh out loud. I looked over at her.

"I'd like that" I nodded. She smiled. "I've got no one else" I breathed. She nodded. "Me either" She said nodding. I narrowed my eyes at her.

"I'm not over you trying to make moves on Matt though" I said slightly smiling. She rolled her eyes. "He's cute, but he's not for me. I never liked him, I just said that to get under your skin" She admiited, making my mouth go wide and her chuckled.

"Plus I think he's got you down on lock" She smiled pushing my shoulder. I smiled and shook my head. I looked over at her. "You know he's got another brother" I stated smiling. She shook her head.

"Nick's gay" She chuckled. I laughed and shook my head. "No the other one" I laughed. She furrowed her eyebrows. "There are 3 of them?" She asked. I nodded.

"He's an asshole, just like you. You guys would totally get along" I smiled. She rolled her eyes. "Okay, okay I get it" She laughed. I smiled looking down.

"I thought you'd know that, being in business with Slim and all" I said looking over at her. She let out a breath and shook her head. "You think they let me in on all the information?" She asked raising her eyebrows and then shook her head.

"I'm just there to sit there and look pretty, and do all the dirty work they don't wanna do" She said her smile dropping. I frowned looking at her. "Slim goes down, he's taking all of us down with him" She sighed. I let out a breath.

"He has proof of you and the triplets involved?" I asked looking at her. She nodded. "He keeps it all on his computer, on back files" She stated looking at me. I let a smile come to my face. She looked confused and then shook her head.

"It's not use. The only people who know the password are him and Landon" She said looking at me. I pursed my lips. "You don't think he could get it out of him?" I asked looking over at her. She shook her head.

"He's farther up Slim's ass, than anyone" She shook her head. I sighed looking down at my lap, then an idea came up in my head. I smiled over at her. She just looked at me.

"What?" She asked. I just smiled as I pushed up onto my feet. She just looked at me. "What?" She smiled shaking her head. "You forget my dad's the chief of police, come on" I smiled reaching out my hand for her to take. Her eyes went wide.

"No, he'd book us all are you crazy?" She said shaking her head. I shrugged. "A little bit crazy some would say" I chuckled. She narrowed her eyes at me. "Hello! My dad was born in the 80s you think he doesn't keep his computer passwords written down somewhere? We can get to every computer base if we're on the same wifi" I explained.

Her eyes lit up as she grabbed my hand and I pulled her off the ground and we ran off the tracks towards my house.

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aaronhotchswife · 5 months

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THE WAY YOU MAKE ME FEEL

Drew Starkey X Female Reader

Chapter 2

Warnings : alcohol, panick attack, angst, want to give the reader a hug, smut, loss of virginity

If you missed chapter 1

"One of the hardest things in life is having words in your heart that you can't utter." - James Earl Jones

Y/N's point of view

I'm at Madelyn's, curled up on the couch with a hot tea in my hands. I don't want to go home, because I know that Drew will be there, with Odessa probably. I don't have the strength to see him. Even if at the same time, he is the only person I want to see.

I now know what heart break feels like and I now know that I have to teach my heart to accept disappointments, even from the people I love, even from him.

Madelyn is sitting next to me, playing with my hair. I respond to the worried texts of my friends, saying that I'm okay and that I'm sorry to have ruined their night. They are all understanding and tell me to have a great trip at my parents for the holidays, and to take time for myself. I respond to all of them except Drew. I just write him that I'm at Madelyn's and that I'll pass by tomorrow to get my suitcase for the holidays. I ignore his texts asking me what happened. I just answer him to have a great Christmas before turning off my phone and go to sleep.

Drew's point of view

I think I'm in love with Y/N since I saw her for the first time. When everyone got cast, we had dinner at the restaurant to get to know each other. I was sitting with the boys, talking about what we liked in life, when I saw her, making her way to the table. She was wearing a yellow summer dress with white converses. Her hair was tied up in a effortless ponytail, and I swear that in that moment, I saw the most beautiful girl in the world.

But I think that I truly fell in love with her 3 months after we met. We were walking in the city, and we saw a kid looking for his parents. Without hesitation, she made her way to him, kneeling at his height, asking him if he needed help. The kid was inconsolable so she sat with him, telling him stories and making him laugh until his parents found him again. In that moment, I knew. I knew that she could have broke my heart in a thousand pieces and I would've been grateful.

Since that day, three years ago, it always been the two of us, until tonight.

So when I arrive at Madelyn's apartment, I want nothing more than to have answers. I feel sick to think I could've put her in that state. I knock at her door, rubbing my hands in my face. When she opens the door, I can see how annoy she is at me.

"She's sleeping."

"Ok, then tell her I passed by and that I want to talk. Please," we're both surprised by my shaking voice. "What the hell happened out there ?"

"Maybe you should ask that to your friend Odessa, Drew. I know she is your friend, but you should've seen the state Y/N was. Getting humiliated like that in front of her friends, in front of you."

"In front of me?" I struggled to ask, my brows furrowed.

"Please Drew," she chuckled coldly. "As if she wanted you to know that she was a virgin. I'll let her know you passed by, but you need to let her some space, she has a lot on her mind right now."

"What do you mean by that?"

"You should go, Drew, she'll talk to you when she's ready."

I leave her house, cursing to myself. When I go to bed that night, I can't stop thinking about her, about us, about how I lost something I never had.

Y/N's point of view

I leave Madelyn's apartment early this morning, figuring out that if I go to our apartment early enough, chances will be that Drew will still be asleep. I guessed right because when I unlock the door, I can hear him snoring lightly.

***

As I'm driving to my parents' house, I put my Christmas playlist on shuffle, question to get into the mood. As I get on the highway, the song Blue Christmas by The Lumineers starts playing. I feel like it's the first time in my life where I can really relate to this song. My mind starts to wonder, how will Drew's Christmas will be like. How will my Christmas be like. I can feel the tears burning my eyes as I try my best to stay concentrated on the road.

***

I'm sitting on the sofa; my parents and my brother are talking about something I can't decipher. I'm scrolling on my phone, through Instagram. My heart skips a beat when I see a picture that Mackayla posted. I look at the picture, where Drew all smiling, is photographed with his family. I read the caption as it says "Merry Christmas from our family to yours.'' I double tap on it, liking it, even if it feels as if my heart throws itself down the 18th floor to see him smile like that.

Drew's point of view

Christmas sucks this year. I try my best to act like everything is fine, to act as if she's not mad at me. But my mind keeps wandering and I keep asking myself why she acted like that. I mean, sure what Odessa did was not nice, but I keep asking myself what was the meaning behind Madelyn's words.

''Drew!'' Brooke's voice pulls me out of my thoughts, ''We're opening the gifts!''

I sit on the floor, watching my mom handing me a gift. I unwrap it, finding an air fryer under the paper. Before I can say anything, my mom almost screams, ''It's for you and Y/N! I know how you both love easy and quick cooking.''

I laugh slightly, trying to push away the thought that I miss her, that I love her, and that I hope that our friendship can pass through whatever happened that night.

Y/N ‘s point of view

As I come home 2 days later, I see Drew laying on his bed, reading a book. I feel my heart throbbing in my chest, and weirdly, for the first time, I don’t know how to act around him. A mix of thoughts is spinning around in my head, and I find myself wondering if I should apologize to him for how I acted at the bar. Madelyn told me how he went to her apartment to have answers and I can’t imagine how bad he must’ve felt.

He must have felt that I was standing in the doorframe of his room because he turned his head, looking at me with so much gentleness, as if he was afraid to break me just with his gaze.

''Hi.'' I say, making an effort to keep my voice steady.

''Hi.''

I make my way to him, laying next to him on the bed.

He clears his throat before speaking again, ''how was your Christmas?''

''T'was fun,'' I answer, my eyes focused on his bedroom's ceiling, ''what about yours?''

''Was great, my mom says hi,'' he smiles.

''We should talk,'' we say at the same time.

Drew chuckled softly, and for the first time since I'm laying next to him, I stop looking at the ceiling, looking at him instead.

''I feel like I owe you an apology for how I acted at the bar,'' I say, my voice not even louder than a whisper. But I know he heard me he interrupts me.

''No, I should apologize. I should've done something while you were having a panick attack. Does it happen often ?''

Drew's point of view

I look into her eyes as I ask my question. I can see her breath getting stuck in her chest.

''It's fine if you don't want to talk about it,'' I say, giving her an occasion of changing subject.

''No, it's ok,'' she answers, ''I used to happen a lot more when I was younger. I used to do them when there were a lot of people or noises. But the one a couple of days ago was the first in a long time. I thought I was getting better, I honestly did. But sometimes, I just lay in bed at 3 am, trying to figure out what is wrong with me and why I'm never enough.''

''I'm sorry,'' I say to her. I truly feel sorry for her, because I know that she can't see herself the way I see her. So strong, always there for the others, always happy. I'm cursing mentally to not have realized how she was doing.

''You don't have to be sorry Drew.''

My hand reaches for hers and my gaze goes from her eyes to her lips. I can see hers do the same. I just want to close that gap between our lips. But before I can do anything, she turns her head, excusing herself and leaving me alone in my room.

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dairy-farmer · 4 months

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Is me~ back to haunt you Ask Box o/ because I just had A Thought(tm)

What if~? The OPPOSITE of my Magic Sex Toy idea? Uno Reverse?

But how would that even work? You say. Tim would very obviously notice!

Oh ho ho~ ye of little Faith! *slaps my "join the Church of Civilian Tim" poster I obviously made myself* CONSIDER! Not a cape! Semi-stable schedules!

We open our scene with stalking. As ya do. Tim would prefer you call it "bird watching" or "observing the night life" but... let's be real here. Stalking. He's getting them NICE Premium Pics for his Definitely-Not-A-Stalker-Shrine. There's a newbie on the scene. A gaudy robe wearing mofo.

3 guess what HIS shtick is. First two don't count.

But! Thing is? Tim is no long a wee baby faced pre-teen. He is a Man(tm). Legally, twice over. And well... you find a LOT if Neat Late Night Shops running after the bats. He may have been persuaded by CERTAIN libidos that maybe he should check them out. Who can say? You can't prove ANYTHING. These bags are groceries and no you can't check..

Where was he? Ah, right, Pics of the Nightwing booty. *click*

Tim forgets Rule Number 1.5: ALWAYS keep an eye on what the villian is doing.

By the way... what that bright light? Oh, just a SPELL BOLT. Fuckin DODGE, MAN!

He fails to dodge.

🥺 H-His camera... Night-booty... Also why does he feel? Tingly? He doesn't stick around to figure it out. Grabs his TRAGICLY dead camera and bolts. Not getting caught at the scene of the stalking TODAY, no sir! Batmans definitely gonna check the area and he SHANT be there! Early night it is!

He gets back to his apartment. Still feels tingly... but less? Maybe those charms he looked up how to make protected him after all. Still, shouldn't push his luck, you know? He settles in for the night. Gets a warm shower.

Comes out and eyes the bags he dropped by the bed... and... well...

He DID wrap up early~ Maybe treat for Timmy time. He digs them out.

Weird.

They? We're already pretty life like (it's why he bought them) but... when he TOUCHES one? He swears it gets MORE life like? He really should look this up or something... suspect toys in Gotham and all... but on the other hand? Horny. And the boxes WERE closed. It's fiiiiine.

But which one? It's kinda been a while. And he doesn't want to be sore tomorrow. This one!

So Tim lays back. Let's himself enjoy working himself open. Then works the fake(?) Cock inside himself. And oh~ it's WARM. Twitchs. He let's himself enjoy a slow, lazy session. Get really sloppy and relaxed before finally finding juuust the right angle aaaand~

Across the city, the current Robin, Damian Wayne, is shaking APPART on a roof top. Sweat pouring down his temple, thighs trembling as he tries ro stop himself from rutting up into empty air. It won't help. Won't make the damnable TEASING go any faster. Wet and tight and PERFECT around him.

Came out of NOWHERE. One second he was patrolling, the next barely catching himself from falling. Stumbling into an alchove on some god forsaken roof. Hands fumbling to turn off his comms. Absolutely not. They could NOT hear him like this.

Panting into hands pressed tight over his own mouth to stiffle the sound he wants to make. Beg and demand that magnificent heat go FASTER. Plunge him DEEPER. But he CANT. Because there's no one there. Just him and the slowly increasing pressure in his balls, begging for relief.

Then, like prayers answered, it DOES. He could WEEP. Can't stop the aborted jerks of his hips as he chases his relief. Soon is trembling like the virgin he ISNT anymore as he spills into... into SOMEONE.

They take it so well. So perfectly.

He's RUINED. His hand will never be enough after this. And Tim has no idea.

Sure, he's not stupid. He didn't buy toys the fake cum. (So to be safe plan B it is) But? In the cold like of day? Prooooobably magic sex toys. Eh. It's Gotham. Not the weirdest thing to happen. Tim's keeping them.

And using them.

Thus begins the "phantom lover" incident, as Bruce will insist on calling it. Because "we were haunted by random fuckings" sounds... unprofessional. And he's a Dramatic Bitch at heart.

Damian, obviously, told NO ONE. Patrol? Utterly normal. Mind you business. But Bruce? Uncomfortable conversations for EVERYBODY~☆

See, Tim has a long day. His new camera isn't gonna be in for a WEEK. There is no point in going out. So his evening stretchs long and empty before him. Which... SPEAKING of things both long and things empty... >.>

He remembers. There was an absolute UNIT that he bought. It also has that base... which mean he could put it on the sex pillow. Try riding it... oh he's GOTTA, now.

Lucky for Bruce, he's not even in the cave when it hits. Unluckily, it is a cock teasing hell. Nothing to hold. No body to press close. No skin to run his hands across or ears to whisper filthy praise. So TIGHT. Fluttering and fighting to take him. Sinking little by little. Can't even HEAR him praising them. He can't even distract them, rub their clit and sooth them as muscles relax.

Can't hold them by the hips and work them up and down. They way he knows will work best. At angles that will make them SOB. Just nothing, nothing, nothing. Trembling and eager around him but so SLOW. Pausing again and again to adjust. Can't thrust in, can't pull out, only TAKE it. Let himself be teased.

But OH. When they finally, FINALLY get a rythme? He knows they can hear a word he says. Not yet. But the FILTH he growls. The audacity of what they're doing. He's GOING to find them. Going to pin them done and-

Tim spend the next day sore, but happy. Definitely not an "every day" sort of toy, but holy shit the orgasm. He hasn't slept this well in a WHILE. Though... when he wakes up? The Bats are acting weird. Violent, hyper-focused, seemly shaking down leads with a single minded enthusiasm. Weird.

Speaking OFF. Now he's wondering... does the possibly fake cum... TASTE like real cum?

One way to find out.

And... look. Dick may have been warned, but it's one thing to hypothetically get your bits milked dry and another to be doubled over seeing the face of god. He would gladly kill a man for the ability to grab hold of whoever is doing this and ram home. The mouth on him is a thing of wonder and it keeps TEASING the tip. They keep running soft, pampered, little hands up and down his length. God he wants them to feel him in their GUT. Fuck their face and their ass and any OTHER holes they have til everything is sloppy and wet and-

Yep! From the tast flooding Tim's mouth, that's real cum. Good his he got his shot. But it begs the question... whoms't exactly is he fucking? Tim's not sure he's comfortable with random hook ups. What if, Gods forbid, it linked him to the JOKER or something!? He'd have to blow up the city and everyone in it.

He considers this as he resumes his sta- he means, BIRD watching. Newly be-camera-d. Weirdly enough, now Nightwing is acting off too. What is going ON? Also... he could of SWORN he saw the Red Hood a second ago. Did he leave? Aaw D:>

.....what's that sound?

*boss music starts playing* That would be the Red Hood. Owner of the mythical Common Sense gene. HE immediately phoned a friend! And by THAT we mean he beamed up to The Watchtower to get poked at by magic users until he had a scanner.

Beep beep, mother fucker. You have explaining to do.

OR, counter argument.... Tim makes a run for it. Doesn't GET far. But he Sure Did Try! Jason is unamused. Consent is sexy, kids. And he has the gun to explain that. But! TIM has the panic babbling to explain his horny stupidity and innocence.

Fair enough. He's confiscating them though. If you get horny, just fucking ask.

Wait.... really? Does Jason really mean that?

And... two things. Cute Horny Idiot knows his identity. And.... he never said HE wasn't also apparently a horny idiot. Sure, why the fuck not.

He confiscate the magic contraband... then bends that twink in HALF. Comms off, back into it. Tim can barely breathe, pressed down so tightly to the bed as his guts get re-arranged, callused hands holding his legs spread, his childhood hero rumbling FILTH into his ear as hips snap against his, again and again and AGAIN. The world is hot and fuzzy around the edges and... AND-!

Jason's pretty damn smug that HES not only the one who found mystery twink, but them fucked him incoherent. He seriously considers just... not saying anything. Whoops! Nothing to find here folks. To bad the Watchtower is a fuckin snitch.

So obviously Bruce finds out. And wants to "talk to him". Which inevitably ends with Tim, pressed close to his front, held still as he "fucks him properly". Which as far a Tim is concerned is a god damned excuse to EMPALE him on his monster of a cock. Work it deeper and deeper, all while holding him like a lover, as he absolutely DESTROYS Tim's poor puss. Makes him lose count of how many times he's gotten off. Until everything is too bright and hyper sensitive. Til it's nearly hurting but not quite there and all Tim can think about, as he whimpers and drools, is SLEEP.

Oh... and THEN he wants to talk about how Tim knows their secret identies. Ask him in the morning or Tim WILL cry at you.

He wakes up in Wayne Manor. He did not go to sleep in Wayne Manor. He can't move his lower body with out pain. Bruce is clearly pretending he planned that. Liar.

Then? Karma. His horny chickens come home to roost. Has Bruce introduced you to his sons? This is Dick and Damian. They remember you. And would like a "word".

(The word is sex and they would like it as soon as possible)

👀👀👀!!!!!!!!!!!! a reverse magic sex toy!!!!!!!!!!!!! where tim tortures the other bats by fucking his little pussy with their cocks while they're forced to just suffer and endure it until he's finished. more than once they almost scream from frustration because tim finishes before they do and he pulls them out of his warm, slick little hole. 👀👀👀👀

#answered asks #asks #anonymous #brutim #dicktim #damitim #jaytim

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hanniluvi · 5 months

Text

( 📞 ) LOVERS’ TV — JUNGWON SHORT FIC

[ DAY ONE ] of the advent calendar !

( 📞 ) NOW CALLING . . . a christmas movie night with your lover was a great idea, until someone fell asleep before the movie could end…

( ꕤ ) NOW PAIRING . . . bf!jungwon x gn!reader

( 📞 ) NOW GENRES . . . fluff, established relationship

( ꕤ ) NOW WARNINGS . . . none i think ~~ WC 600+ !

( 📞 ) NOW HANGING UP . . . first fic for the winter mlist yay !! with jungwon being the first idol i ever made a fic about , i just had to make him the first day for this event 🫶 !!

You've long dreamt of having a movie night, especially the idea of binge-watching Christmas films with someone special. Jungwon holds that idea in mind—he never forgets what you want. Eager to be the best partner he can be, he’s all in for sharing the activities you've been wishing for, like this movie night.

The only problem was that he was on a trip, being far apart from you. What stung more was that he wouldn’t be around for the initial days of December; he was due to return mid-month. However, he's known for making efforts just for you.

So, how about an online movie date?

He was really excited about this idea because he was still able to bond with you overseas in a special way. And to his excitement, you thought it was also a great idea, having the movie night happen at 8 PM—well, in your timezone. Despite the huge time zone differences, Jungwon set the date night that could fit within your schedule.

And with that, the hours quickly flew by, and with Jungwon setting up his laptop. He stared at the time eagerly, watching it hit 8 PM, calling you at that exact time. You quickly answered, and he had the brightest smile on his face.

“Hi,” you said as you got yourself comfortable in your bed, setting your laptop onto your lap. “Hey love,” you heard that sweet tone in his voice, making you break into a smile. You looked at the screen, looking at your boyfriend in a gray hoodie, fiddling around with the strings of it. “What movie do you want to watch?”

"Hm…Oh! How about watching 'The Nightmares Before Christmas?'" you suggested enthusiastically, noticing your boyfriend's questionable expression. "I heard that movie was more on the scary side rather than Christmassy..."

"It can't be something you can't handle!" you assured him, which he eventually agreed to share his screen and stream the movie.

"I'll trust your word on it."

"Lying down was not a good idea," Jungwon admitted as he felt his eyelids growing heavy. No matter how many times he rubbed his eyes or blinked repeatedly, drowsiness weighed heavily on him. He let out a yawn, drawing your attention.

“Jungwon?” You interrupted his yawn, slightly surprising him as if you caught him doing something terrible.

“Yeah?”

“You tired?”

“Just getting myself comfortable, that’s all.”

“What time is it for you?”

"2:30 A.M," he glanced at the clock, instantly regretting revealing he was up at such a late hour. He might have gotten away with it if he'd said it was 10 PM, but no, he had to ruin his cover. Oh how ready he was for another scolding.

“Jungwon!” You stared at the screen, watching him awkwardly scratch the back of his head. “Why are you even up at this time?”

“Because you wanted to have a movie night, and I wanted to spend the first few days of December with you—and I picked a timezone suitable for you.” He confessed, and you just couldn’t help but have a smile. “It just didn’t work out on my end…I guess?”

“Won, I appreciate that, but shouldn’t you be asleep right now? I mean, we can always pause the movie and continue next time—you’ve got things to do tomorrow.” you suggested. However, he was set on finishing the movie that night. You knew Jungwon well enough to realize he was determined, and so you both continued watching.

But as anticipated, once Jungwon settled into a comfortable position, it was inevitable that he'd fall asleep. Within ten minutes, there was no longer any commentary about the movie.

“Won?” you whispered loud enough, noticing he didn’t move a single bit. Smiling at his peaceful appearance, you paused the movie and ended the call, already feeling his absence.

You opened the messaging app and began typing with a playful smirk,

Who said we had to finish the movie tonight?

You, but you feel asleep! It’s okay though, we can always watch together next time!

And maybe, you won’t doze off <3

You shut your laptop, rolling onto your side and tugging the blanket closer. Sleep was much needed, not only for rest but also to ensure you'd have extra time to see Jungwon in the morning, you figured.

ENHA PERM TAGLIST (1) — @flwoie @ixomiyu @haruavrse @shinsou-rii @bearseulgs @ilovewonyo @yenqa @dimplewonie @bubblytaetae @wtfhyuck @ineedaherosavemeenow @ml8dy @starikizs @wonioml @chirokookie @xiaoderrrr @neozon3nha @en-chantedtomeetyou @millksea @enhaz1 @eundiarys @hyeosi @ja4hyvn @judeduartewannabe @j-wyoung @thia-aep @vampcharxter @softpia @officiallyjaehyuns @itsactuallylina @hsheart @sweetjaemss @ahnneyong @hanienie @jwnghyuns @kpoplover718 @jiawji @rikizm @haknom @yeokii @wvnkoi @whoschr @teddywonss @shinunoga-iie-wa @isoobie @skzenhalove @misokei @s00buwu @ox1-lovesick @miercerise @litttlestars @enhapocketz

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hbyrde36 · 7 months

Text

STWG Drabble 9/30/23

Prompt: Drunk talk

It was 2am, and Steve was sitting on the kitchen floor huddled around the phone, gripping the handset like it was a lifeline. It only rang twice before Robin picked up. She'd begged her parents to install an extra phone line in her room after Starcourt, and they gave in quickly once they realized it was either that, or getting woken up regularly by middle of the night panicked phone calls from the boy their daughter swore she wasn’t dating. Her parents didn’t know what had really happened to the two kids, just that whatever it was had left them with a lot of trauma and a little bit of codependency, but they loved their daughter, so they did what they could to make her happy.

“Steve?” Robin yawned his name into the phone, a hint of concern coloring her voice even though she was only half awake.

“Robbi-” Steve choked out through a sob that was punctuated with a hiccup. “I thhhink I fuccked up.”

“Are you drunk?” She asked, sounding a little more awake.

Steve snapped his fingers, pointing as if she was in the room with him. “Guessed it’n one.” He slurred a little, sniffling as he tried to speak. It was a wonder she understood him at all.

“Jesus, how much did you have? Wait, weren’t you and Eddie supposed to be hanging out tonight?”

“Oh Eddie” Steve sighed dramatically. “Eddie, he wasss here, he..oh god.. Robin I fuuucked up so bad - e’s never going to tttalk to me again.”

“What happened?” She asked.

Steve cleared his throat and took a few deep breaths. Trying hard to sober himself up.

“We were drinking.” He managed the three words with much less slurring than before, he thought Robin should be impressed.

She wasn’t.

“Clearly”

“Don’ be mean, i’m upset!” Steve groaned.

“Sorry, go on.”

“And I knew I shouldn’t have let myself drink so much but I did and god, Robin, he looked so hot!” Steve rambled on. “He had his hair up and a crop top on and I couldn’t help myself…. I all but sat on his lap when we decided to watch a movie.”

“I’m failing to see the issue here. You were flirting with him, so what? You like him, he likes you.”

“We don’t know that!” Steve hissed.

“We do know that! And I've been telling you to ask him out for weeks!.”

Steve hesitated, a little of his old panic rising in his chest. “I…i wasn’t ready.”

Robin’s tone softend. “That’s okay, you’re allowed to not be ready.”

“I think I am now, but…” He trailed off.

“Okay, so what’s the problem?”

“Eddie kissed me.” Steve said simply, as if that explained everything. In fairness to his booze soaked mind, it did.

“I’m gonna need you to elaborate, babe.”

“I freaked out, Robin! I freaked out and he thought I was freaking out because I didn't want him to kiss me, but really I was freaking out because I like him so much, and the kiss! Oh, the kiss was amazing. I had no idea that kissing could feel like that, but then I panicked because - what if I mess it up, Robin? What if I mess up with Eddie like I did with Nancy? I don’t know if I could survive that again.”

Robin was quiet for a long moment before she said anything.

“Shit, Steve. Do you…feel the same way about him as you did about Nance?”

“I think I do, Robs, I think I'm in love with him, but it doesn’t matter because I already ruined it.”

“Is that true?”

Steve’s heart sank as a deep voice sounded behind him.

He heard Robin suck in a breath on the other end of the line. He looked up, already knowing what he would find. Sure enough, Eddie was standing in the doorway to the kitchen, jacket on and keys still in hand. How long had he been standing there? Did he come back, or had he never left?

“Is that..?” Robin started to ask, but Steve cut her off. “Yeah, it is, um. I gotta go, I'll call you tomorrow.” He hung up before she could respond, never taking his eyes off the boy in the doorway.

Steve gulped audibly. “How much of that did you hear?”

Eddie shuffled his feet, looking nervous. It wasn’t something Steve was used to seeing on the other boy, he usually exuded confidence.

“I guess that depends.” Eddie replied.

“On?”

“How much of it did you mean?”

“All of it.” Steve answered quickly, eager to fix the mess he’d made of things.

Eddie pressed his lips together in a thin line, thinking. “Are you sure it’s not just because you’re drunk and sad?” He said, finally.

“If you stay, I'll say it again in the morning.”

Eddie smiled and shook his head. He walked over and sat down on the floor next to Steve, taking his hand and entwining their fingers. “What a line, Stevie.”

Steve ducked his head. “I’m sorry I freaked out.”

Eddie raised their clasped hands to his mouth and pressed his lips to the back of Steve’s fingers.

“I’m sorry too. I left and didn’t give you the chance to explain. I got into my van and even started it, but I couldn't leave. I didn’t want to run anymore. I came back inside so we could talk about it. I hoped you would forgive me for kissing you and we could still be friends.”

“I don’t want to be just friends, Eddie. Can we try the kiss again?”

Eddie squeezed his hand and stood up, pulling Steve along with him.

“Let’s get you to bed, and if you feel the same way in the morning I would be happy to have a do-over.”

Steve pouted but allowed Eddie to lead him out of the kitchen and up the stairs to his bedroom.

“Don’t pout, baby. You’re really drunk, and it would feel too much like I was taking advantage of you. Let’s just go to sleep, I promise I'll still be here in the morning.”

Baby.

“Will you sleep in here with me if I swear to keep my hands to myself?” Steve asked.

Eddie usually slept on the couch or the guest room when he stayed over. Steve had always hated it, but he had never been brave enough to ask Eddie to stay with him until now.

Eddie chuckled. “Yea, Stevie. I’ll stay with you.”

#stwgdailyprompt #steddie fanfic #steve harrington #eddie munson #robin buckley #stranger things

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unknown-lab · 1 year

Text

What is Love?

Pairing: Dazai Osamu x reader

Genre: Angst

Warnings: Cheating

Have you ever once in your life, regardless if you're single or in a relationship, wondered... What love is? How do you get it? What should you do to maintain the love you're having for another person? Throughout my experience, there's one thing for sure.

Love is something that fades easily, only when you're with the wrong person.

The night of our 5th Anniversary.

Food? Done. Table? Well-prepared. Candles? All up. Dress? Gorgeous. Lights? Perfect. Everything, every single detail was not left out. Time was tick-tocking as I was admiring what I had done for the past 5 hours. For him, for us. The only flaw I'm having right now is the empty spot in front of me. It should be occupied 1 hour ago.

I waited

And waited

And waited...

Ah... It's 10 pm now. The candles are all out. The room darkened, and there were only 2 dim lights on top of me. He's a busy man, I guess he'd forgotten about this already. Alright then, there's no sign of his return, I might as well start cleaning up. Although I haven't touched anything on the table, I don't feel hungry. Maybe because I don't have the every to be hungry now.

Front door opens

I was already done with the cleaning. I turned to him, and our eyes met. He looks tired too. I don't want to stress him out further, so I just gave him a smile and turned away, walking toward our bed. It's like he could read my mind, he didn't say anything, he just went into the bathroom and took a shower.

He lies down next to me, both of us turning to the opposite side. He's still next to me, and he smells nice. The scent is different from the shampoo we have in our bathroom. I wonder where did he get it from. I was deep in thought until he broke the silence.

"Sign the papers tomorrow."

Hmm? What papers? Never mind, I'll just ask him tomorrow. I don't know why, I feel more tired than usual tonight.

Oh.

Wow.

This escalated... rather quickly... Dazai. Well, I did expect this to happen sooner or later. I was reading through the divorce papers, making nothing is missed out. Everything right now was peaceful. No quarrels, no fights, just two grown adults doing what adults should be doing.

"I was with her last night. I had been by her side for about half a year, and we're planning to make that official. Hopefully, you would understand." He broke the silence, once again. There weren't any expectations heard from his monotone voice. It's like this is just a procedure to him.

Obviously, I kept quiet. I didn't raise my head to look at him, just the files. They are the only thing I have now. I signed the papers and passed them to him. I went to pack my belongings, making sure to bring everything I had with me. While he's just there, sitting on the couch texting her.

Everything is now at the doorstep, ready to go. For the first time in so long, he showed kindness. He put my luggage into the boot. For a split second, seeing him in his suit made my heart skip a beat. How long has he not worn that? It was the one I bought for him on our 1st anniversary. And I know for sure, it's his favourite.

"You can go now, I'll deal with the papers myself. Nothing will go wrong." This is more of an assurance to himself than to me.

"Did you know what day was yesterday?" I looked at him, unfiltered words just came out of my mouth.

"Yeah. It was our 5th Anniversary." He said nonchalantly.

Out of all the things I've thought of, this was the last of all that I could possibly expect. I was expecting a no, regardless he was lying or not. The fact that he knew everything, he knew I was waiting for him, he knew he had to come back, he knew it was our anniversary. This is the trigger that is preparing to fire.

"Then why were you absent?"

"She said wanted me to stay with her."

I could imagine the girl in her sweet voice, holding his hand or hugging him tightly. Begging him to stay with her, just to ruin our moment.

Bravo. Tears formed at the corner of my eyes, slowly rolling down my cheek. Through the blurry vision, I saw a young man in his favourite suit, running towards me. He hugged me and said:

"It's alright, I'd do anything if it's for you."

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moon-child-goddess · 1 month

Text

Characters: Miguel O'hara X Reader

I wrote this for a friend who asked for it. I told her i would have it out for her birthday. Honestly don't know how i feel about this. Also not proofread completely.

Summary: Miguel and the reader are working on a project and after something happens the reader ignores him.

Warnings: Language, some yelling I guess, mentions of sexual harassment, I am sure there is more, but I am tired lmao.

Miguel and I sat on opposite sides of the dimly lit lab. Each of us glued to our portion of the project we had been working on for the last three months. Our nights had been exactly like this working together in silence with the occasional conversation. Where I would try to get Miguel to laugh. But it was him, and making him even exhale in a way that could be considered a laugh was nearly impossible. We were working on building a nanobot that would help the other spiders out in the field.

A grunt came from Miguel who was hunched over a table placing pieces together. I chewed on the end of my pen watching him work. He was distractingly, incomprehensibly attractive. He paid no mind to my staring even though I knew he could sense it.

I watched him fix his hair before reaching for his soldering pen. He quickly glanced up in my direction. There was a faint uptick at the corner of his lips that any normal person would miss. It was the closest I would ever get to a smile from him.

A blush rose up my neck as I violently turned back toward my computer. The force of my turn was a little too fast and I almost toppled the chair over. Miguel let out a ‘laugh’ under his breath. I pulled at my neck trying to get rid of the blush. Lord help me if he ever actually laughed my heart may stop.

Miguel working on soldering meant that he was almost ready for me to add a code, and I was nowhere near ready right now. Maybe just maybe If I had spent less time ogling him, I would have found a solution to the exploding problem we had last time. The cursor blinked at me in a taunting manner. I should be able to do this; I could code in my sleep.

After the last bot had exploded Miguel tried to kick me off the project. Which means I need to prove myself even more right now. I don’t want to disappoint him again. It took me over a week to convince him to let me help finish this project.

But now I didn’t know where to fix it. I was tempted to start over from scratch, but this code was a long one and it would take longer to start from scratch than I had. The trash bin next to my desk was filled with scribbled out notes and energy drinks.

“It is ready.” Miguel spoke lowly now standing directly behind me. I flinched, even with my heightened senses he moved faster than I could detect.

His hand rested on the back of my chair, fingertips barely grazing the back of my neck. My heart skipped a beat at the contact. I need to get in control of myself. This is my boss. Well kind of boss.

“I need some more time. Let me come back to it tomorrow. I don’t want to ruin another bot.” I ran my hand over my face. I wanted to finish but I knew he wouldn’t leave me here to work.

Miguel nodded, fully understanding where I was coming from. He stayed close behind me watching as I closed the computer down. His gaze was making me nervous my heart rate sped up. When I went to stand up, I stumbled a bit my legs were like Jello the nerves making it worse. Miguels hand shot out helping steady me. The small smile was back on his lips. I ducked my head down avoiding his gaze.

“We will meet here tomorrow at the same time?” There was a question in his words. As if he doubted, I would show up. I nodded.

“Good night, Miguel.” I whispered, fixing strands of his hair that were sticking out of place. His eyes closed at my touch.

----

I was in the cafeteria with an unfinished sandwich sitting in front of me. I had a tablet with my code pulled up. I wanted to… no needed to have the code ready for tonight. However, looking at my mistakes I was beginning to think I was not cut out for this.

I let out a groan before hitting my forehead on the edge of table. It was going to leave a mark.

There had to be an answer.

My brain was exhausted from staying up all night going through all my notes. No amount of energy drinks was fixing that problem.

There was so much background noise echoing in the room. Other co workers were in here chatting with their friends. It kept pulling my attention away from my task. I just didn’t want to sit in the lab any longer. It was making me restless.

“I am aching from sparing, so I am going to hit the ice baths. I need to cool down.” Someone down a table from me announced to their group. I watched as he walked out the room.

That’s it!

Holy crap that is the answer. Before I could think of anything else I ran to find Miguel.

“Miguel!” I called out over the moon to share this with him. “I think I figured it out!”

I entered his office abruptly, not bothering to knock. There was no indication to whether or not he was in here. I found Miles standing in a corner, eyes wide clearly shaken about something, but I may have just caught him breaking into the office.

Miguel made an appearance from the shadows stepping off his platform. Ever the dramatic one. He was pissed, his eyes a dark black and jaw clenched. His thumb and pointer fingers were massaging the bridge of his nose as he worked through a breathing exercise.

In a blink it changed, and he was looking at me. That stupid small smile took over, and his shoulders lost tension.

“Figured what out mi vida?”

“The code! Of course.” I grabbed his hand yanking him down the hall to the lab. Miles better thank me for saving his ass. Before I dropped his hand, he squeezed my palm.

I wasted no time in getting my computer started. The glow of the monitors was the only light in here, as Miguel went to turn on the overhead lights. He pulled up a chair and sat next to me leaning in.

“I am adding in a few more lines that should start a cool down process; if it starts to get too warm.” I looked over my shoulder as he nodded at me. He watched my hands fly over the keyboard and I explained everything I was doing.

We plugged the code in to the nanobot and ran some tests. It didn’t overheat, it performed its functions flawlessly. After months of work we had a finished prototype.

It works! I jumped up standing on the stool and did a happy dance. Was it cringe? Yes, but I was too tired to care. Miguels large hands were on my waist keeping me from pummeling over on to the floor. They were warm and made my skin burn. My mind short circuited at the touch. It was all to much.

“It works.” I whispered. My face moved closer, our eyes meeting. Staring one another down.

“It does.” His minty breath fanning over my face, his hands moving up my waist a bit.

I giggled lowly and without thinking I kissed him. He froze like a statue, his hands dropping from me. He stopped breathing and didn’t blink. It sobered me up right away.

“I am so sorry. I will just go now.” I leapt down to the ground. Backing away, slowly assessing the damage I had done. He slowly came to his normal self just slightly confused.

“Y/N-” His voice was soft almost begging me to listen, but I didn’t. I took off to my room.

---

It had been three weeks since that incident, and I got good at avoiding Miguel. After working with him so closely I knew his routine, so I did the opposite. And went on more missions with the other spiders. My reports were given directly to spider women. One mission had taken four days, which was a relief. Miguel was nowhere near so I could relax. He had called during the mission once, but I ignored it.

Eventually I was going to have to face him and pay pence for sexually harassing him in a workplace. For now, I was going to pretend I wasn’t embarrassed. I had better self-control than that. How could I be so stupid?

----

I was handing over some gadgets to Spider-women. I was thinking about swallowing my pride and talking to him before I made his anger any worse.

“You will have to talk to him soon. I can’t deal with his mood anymore.” She took the tools from my hands, giving me a stern look. She had to be reading my mind. I winced. Miguel valued space and I crossed the line.

He had to hate me for sure, maybe he was going to banish me back home.

“I know.” I mumbled leaving before she could say anymore to me.

Miguel was leaning up against the stark white wall opposite the door glaring down at me. I backed up to run away. Call me a chicken, I was not in the mood to deal with this yet. I was thinking about tomorrow once I had a chance to rehearse. I don’t think I could handle rejection from the one person I have liked in a very long time. Before I could get anywhere though he was grasping my forearm, dragging me behind him. A cold sweat ran through me.

He opened the door to the lab. He dropped his hand placing it on my lower back guiding me into the room. As the door slammed shut, I turned to face him. There was a spot on the wall behind him that was fascinating, and I gave my full attention to it.

“Y/N can we talk? Please?” He was pleading for me to give him time. I wanted to I really did. I just- couldn’t do this now.

I tried to slip past him back through the door, but he was too quick, blocking my way out. He was going to be stubborn about this he made that very clear.

I did the next best thing and back up till there was a table between us. Just in case he started to yell. He raised a brow not missing one move I made.

“You have been avoiding me.” He stated. Coming over standing at the table in front of me.

“No, I have been busy-” Miguel raised his hand shaking his head. He had a frown that seemed to deepen with my lies.

“Don’t lie Amor. I walked down the hall, and you were running the other way. Sick for all our meetings. That says avoiding.”

“It’s not like that.” I had no legit argument, and I knew it…he knew it. I was avoiding him.

“I have been thinking of you… and that damn kiss all month.” He rubbed his jaw emotions ticking through his face.

“I got something I wanted. For you to run and hide like a coward. Which by the way you are far from being one normally.” He growled out with his teeth bared. It was kind of terrifying, almost threating. I could see why Miles was scared of him.

“I did not mean- I am sorr-”

“Do not apologize.”

I bit down chewing on my bottom lip. I didn’t know what to say or do. I was at a loss.

He stepped towards me and I took a step back. I needed to keep my distance, so I could make an escape after he broke me.

“Do you not like me?” The words hit me like a tornado. There was hint of pain behind the idea.

“No! no.” He took two long strides towards me and this time I didn’t move. I stood my ground.

“Then you should not have avoided me. That kiss is far from over.”

Before I could react, his lip were on mine. There was a millisecond where he waited for me to respond, and as he was pulling away, I met his lips. Once I did, it was passionate and messy. He fought for dominance. His warm hands were on my hips moving to settle on my thighs. There was a gentle tap telling me to jump and I did. He moved us so I was sitting at the table behind me.

Miguel tilted my head up, so he had better access. I let out a soft sigh tangling my fingers in his soft hair. I don’t think anyone else could kiss me like this. I didn’t want anyone else to really. It was more than the fireworks they say in the movies. This was a roaring fire engulfing my senses.

He pulled away slightly and bit my bottom lip ever so softly, and I shuddered. I could feel a ghost of his smile against my lips. I couldn’t catch my breath before Miguel went back in. Slower this time. Miguel used one hand to pull me closer settling between my legs. I let ous a gasp at the sudden movement and tugged at his hair. Which earned me a small groan. It was my turn to smile.

When he pulled away, I was panting, needing air. Miguel began to trail kisses down my neck to my shoulder nipping at my skin. Before setting his forehead on mine.

“I didn’t want you to run mi vida it just surprised me. Please don’t run again.”

“Sorry, I honestly thought you wanted nothing to do with me.” “Never.” He murmured and placed a kiss to the tip of my nose

#miguel o'hara #miguel spiderverse #miguel x reader #miguel x you #miguel spiderman #spiderman 2099 #Miguel o'hara imagine #atsv miguel

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racinginchid3nt · 8 months

Text

I’d Probably Still Adore You | Part Eleven

Y/N x Lance Stroll, Y/N Best Friend x Pierre Gasly

In which a night at the club and a game of never have I ever turns into something new

Inspired by 505 - Arctic Monkeys

Warnings: cyber bullying, threats

Previous | Next

————————————————————————

Friday

From the start, Friday was horrible. You woke up hungover, the wine from last night mixed with minimal amount you ate due to Lance’s distraction, was a bad combination.

Replaying the night over and over in your mind just made everything worse. Lance’s reaction, your ruined dress, having to leave the event early, blowing off one of the only other drivers you knew, and the overly aggressive fans and paparazzi.

SHIT. The fans and paparazzi.

All thoughts of your hangover left your mind, tumbling out of bed to find your phone. Opening your Instagram and praying you would luck out failed you. Sure enough you had been tagged in dozens of photos from last night.

Photos of you and Lando leaving the hotel, of the two of you arriving at the venue, of you walking in, of him smiling at you, etc. The comments were brutal, ripping apart your appearance, commenting on your dress, how he deserves better, etc.

It wasn’t until you opened your messages that you realized how much worse it could get. Hundreds of dms stared back at you, filled with vile things. Talking about how you’re a gold digger, threats, truly saying the absolute worse things they could come up with. You wanted to stop, to ignore the things people said, but you couldn’t look away.

A call came through from Y/N Best Friend. Declining it you continued reading. And then another came through, declining it again the cycle repeated. Over and over declining calls from Y/N Best Friend until she finally stopped.

It took only a few minutes before you heard the pounding on your hotel door.

“Y/N let me in!”

Trying to ignore her, you curled in on yourself.

“Y/N if you don’t let me in I’m going to break down this fucking door!”

The banging continued, and inescapable noise reminding you of the hangover. As the door handle started to giggle, you rose from the bed and answered the door.

“What?” You asked, trying to steady your voice.

“Babe are you okay? I saw the comments on your Instagram posts. Those were so uncalled for. How are you doing?” She asked.

“Fine. I don’t know. It is what it is. I should have known better I guess.” You replied.

“How can I help?” She asked.

“Can you just give me some time to myself? Im hungover as fuck and I just want to go back to bed.”

She left you with the promise that she would call and check on you later, threatening that she would show back up at your door if you ignored her.

————

Free practice had gone okay. Lance was happy with car, and the engineers were excited for tomorrow’s qualifying. But his mind kept replaying last night. How she had yelled at him, how he had reacted to seeing her with Norris, what happened during dinner, etc.

He regretted letting her walk away last night, but the last thing he had expected was for her to yell at him like that. He owed her an apology, having overstepped massively last night. Walking through the paddock he made his way to the Alpine energy station. Y/N Best Friend sat outside alone, scrolling through her phone while she ate lunch.

“Hey Y/N Best Friend, where is Y/N at?”

She gave him a funny look.

“She’s at the hotel. Why?”

Unsure of how to explain himself to the girl sitting in front of him, he opted to give her a small nod and turn to head back to the Aston Martin energy station.

Last race she had come to every day, media, free practice, qualifying, and the race. It didn’t sit well with him that she had missed yesterday and today’s events.

————————————————————————

Saturday

Y/N Best Friend had shown up at your door early Saturday morning, refusing to let you skip the days events. She had no idea about what had happened with Lance, and wouldn’t understand if you tried to explain. Putting on a fake smile, you joked with her as you got around for the day, focusing on the fact that you would get to spend time with her.

The day passed by in relative normalcy. Fans had taken photos when the three of you arrived at the track that morning, but you had been able to continue on through security. Lando had made small talk with you on his way to the Mclaren garage, asking if you were feeling better after Thursday night.

You gave Carlos a small wave as you passed by him and the Ferrari garage after Q1. The Spaniard pulled you aside, giving you a friendly hug and making small talk. You did your best to keep the fake smile on your face, ready to return to the hotel room. Carlos paused mid discussion, staring at you for a moment.

“Are you okay Y/N?” He asked, concern filling his voice.

“Yeah I’m fine. Just a little tired, that’s all.”

His facial expression made it clear that he didn’t believe you. Pulling you in for another hug, he stated:

“I know we’re not friends or anything, but if you need anything let me or Lando know okay?”

You gave him a small smile, wishing him luck in Q2 before returning to the Alpine garage.

————

On the way back to the hotel you decided to brave social media again, and just like that the weekend got even worse. Your tagged photo notifications piled in as soon as you opene the Instagram app, but it was no longer just photos from Thursday night with Lando. A series of pictures of you and Carlos from earlier that day stared back at you, photos of your two hugs and him whispering into your ear. They definitely looked flirty, and the speculation from the various captions alluded to as much.

As you scrolled through more of them, it got worse. Looking back at you was a grainy photo of you and Lance from Thursday night. The photo showed him with his hand on your waist, huddled in the corner of the dinning room before dinner that night.

Multiple collages from the weekend contained the photo compared to Lando and Carlos. The previous dating rumors had suddenly turned to discussions of you cheating. You weren’t sure how what was an exciting weekend had suddenly turned so miserable.

You needed to get your mind off of everything. And while there were definitely better ways to do it, the idea of getting drunk and watching sappy movies sounded the most enjoyable way to spend the night.

Pulling on a hoodie and sweats, you tightened the strings from your hood and made your way out of the hotel’s back exit and to a nearby market. Bottle of wine in one hand and your purse in the other, you made the short walk back to the hotel. Reaching the side door you pulled, but the door remained closed. The door was a one way exit, letting you escape the hotel but not sneak back in. You turned, making your way to the main entrance.

Unsurprisingly the sidewalk was crowded with fans and paparazzi alike. Hanging your head down you pushed through the crowd to make your way to the entrance. The crowd was tightly packed, pushing you around as you fought through it. Your hood fell down, revealing your face. Within an instant the crowd noticed. Cameras turned and voices rang out as you clutched the bottle and tried to push through.

“Is that Y/N?”

“It’s Y/N!”

“Are you dating Lando?”

“I can’t believe you cheated on him with Carlos!”

“Whore!”

“Slut!”

The crowd of fans turned angry quickly. Hands reached out for you, pushing and pulling you. You felt a hang grip your hair, yanking your head backwards. Stumbling, you dropped the bottle of wine. Pushing to get through to the doors you felt someone kick you, another person grabbing at your arm. Elbows hit your sides, fans rushing at you from all sides. As you neared the front of the crowd, one of the security guards at the hotels door pulled you over the barriers and usher you into the hotel lobby.

Tears streamed down your face as you ran to the elevator, thanking your lucky stars that the doors opened as soon as you hit the button. Making it back to your room, you collapsed on the hotel room floor. Shaking and sobbing you pulled out your phone, thankful that you had managed to kept your grip on it.

Opening your airline app, you scrolled through flights, finding the soonest departure back to the Barcelona airport. You charged it to your card, ignoring the price as a concern for another day. Haphazardly throwing your clothes and toiletries back into your bag you called an Uber to the side door, escaping into it and making you way to the airport.

As you settled into you seat on the late night flight, you opened every social media app you had and deleted your accounts. And as the announcement came to power off your electronics, you thumbed through your contacts, blocking Lance, Lando, and Carlos, before deleting their numbers, hoping that maybe, just maybe, you could go back to life before Spa.

————————————————————————

A/N:

The first part of the Pierre X Y/N Best Friend story is live here

Please respond to the poll when you get a chance!

#f1 fanfic #lance stroll #lance stroll x reader #lance stroll x y/n #lance stroll x you #pierre gasly #pierre gasly x reader #pierre gasly x y/n #pierre gasly x you #f1 #lando norris #lando norris x y/n #carlos sainz #carlos sainz x reader #formula one #f1 x reader

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ohisms · 1 year

Text

↪ 𝑻𝑯𝑬 𝑺𝑷𝑰𝑫𝑬𝑹𝑾𝑰𝑪𝑲 𝑪𝑯𝑹𝑶𝑵𝑰𝑪𝑳𝑬𝑺 . ( a series of sentence starters from the 2008 film “ spiderwick ” . adjust phrasing as necessary . )

there it is ... pretty much how i remember it .

just an observation , not a judgement .

what are you expecting your silent protest will get you ?

at least acknowledge this isn’t the way to deal with your anger .

i’m not gonna let you keep acting like a jerk .

you think you know everything .

you’re such a liar !

you’re still coming tomorrow , right ?

we don’t need any more holes in the wall .

i don’t know how you did it , i just know you did it . ‘cause you ALWAYS do it .

[ name ] , don’t you wanna know where this thing goes ?

wow , that’s really ... impossible .

it’s late , just go to sleep .

wait , what did i say ?

i did my best , but YOU . you kept looking and looking .

are you with them , or with me ? whose side are you on ?

[ name ] ? oh my god , oh my god -

i beg your forgiveness .

what do you want with me ?

it’s not what i want with you , it’s what i want from you .

i’m placing my trust in you .

if you fail , i’m afraid i’ll have to find someone else .

get inside the protective circle !

for the last time , there’s no such thing as [ xyz ] .

now do you believe me ?!

how many of those things are out there ?!

sit tight , i’ll be right back .

i’ll be right back , keep pressure on that .

what do they want from us ?

oh god . they’re coming from everywhere .

you don’t think , you just DO .

you do stuff , and we pay for it .

you ruin everything !

there is so much about this that’s not okay , i don’t even know where to start .

you die , i die , we all die .

they’re not leaving . they’re never leaving !

we stay here long enough , we’re gonna end up like [ name ] .

if you’re so smart , what do you suggest we do with it ?

we’re safe as long as we stay in the house .

okay , i think i have this figured out .

you have to get out of there .

it isn’t safe , you don’t understand .

one night , i dreamt that i saw him in the woods .

that’s what this is all about ?

i told you you wouldn’t believe me .

do you really think i am SO stupid that i don’t see what this is about ?

that isn’t gonna happen .

don’t you think you should just tell him ?

there’s your ride , off you go !

destroy it ? are you mad ?

they won’t let you leave .

not until you tell me what you need to tell me .

you said you had something you needed to say to me . so , what is it ?

look me in the eyes . and tell me .

i ... i just wanted to tell you that i love you .

wrong answer .

[ name ] , it’s not your fault . it’s mine .

i was trying to protect you , but i guess i should’ve just told you the truth .

is it okay if i stay here ? with you ?

who else is gonna protect us ?

i see now . & i may never be able to forgive myself .

you came back as you promised . so i forgive you .

this time , take me with you .

#i loved these books sm i had to #rp meme #rp inbox meme #rp prompts #ohisms

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noroi1000 · 1 year

Text

"Don't Shout" Yandere Gojo x reader chapter 13

"Why are you so curious about those who are in school in Kyoto?" the white-haired one asked as you were standing by the window in the classroom and looking at the main entrance of the school.

"Senpai, I knew there was another school like this, but I've never met anyone from there. Besides, I want to see someone to compete with." You said, turning to him for a moment to see the expression on his face.

He had a very slightly furrowed brow.

"Are you mad at something?" you asked.

"No, I'm not angry.... I just can't understand why you want to meet someone so badly."

"It's just curiosity -"

"I'm not enough for you?"

You looked at him even more surprised.

He's been acting a little weird lately.

But now he spends more and more time with you. You're not complaining because you're not sitting anywhere alone. But you've noticed that he sometimes acts like a child trying to get your attention.

He pushes everyone else away from you so he has perfect access.

Your senpai is cute, but sometimes his slight possessiveness scares you.

"Wait, you said you wanted to see who you'd have to compete with? You're a freshman, (y/n)..." he said interrupting this slightly tense conversation.

"We're allowed. It's mostly about the number of people. After all, Shoko-san doesn't fight. So one less person."

He suddenly got up and slowly walked over to you.

"You know this is something to be taken seriously? If you're going to be part of this, you're not leaving my side. Anything can happen in this competition. You can even be attacked and seriously injured, you understand?"

"Senpai, I am not a child for you to take care of me."

"And which of us is older?" he smiled triumphantly.

"But I'm not a little kid. I can take care of myself."

"Yes, yes. I don't doubt it, but you're coming with me anyway." he laughed and waved his hand.

Suddenly, he leaned down slightly, looking into your eyes, bringing his face to the same level as yours.

"If you still disagree, I'll strap you to my back and carry you like a baby in a baby carrier."

You looked away in embarrassment. You imagined it.

You don't want to admit that you'd like to be carried by him, but not like this.

After all, Gojo-senpai is tall, muscular, and comfortable to sit or lie on.

But you don't want him to carry you around like a baby.

"So what's it gonna be, (y/n)-chan? Do you want your Senpai to carry you like a little girl, will you listen and kindly agree to stay close to me tomorrow?"

His smile widened as he already knew your answer.

"... Fine..." I groaned crossing my arms over my chest.

You continued to look into his eyes.

You wondered about it for the rustling sound.

You couldn't look down because his face was so close to yours and he was looking at you.

"Will you repeat what you said?"

"I said okay." You said then looking away.

He really loves to hear that he's right. And also, as in this case, he likes to hear that someone agrees with him.

"Good Girl." He patted you on the head with one hand and lifted the other to your lips.

He pushed your favorite lollipop gently between your lips and pulled away.

"You wanted to see who's coming. They're coming now." he said grabbing your arms to turn you around.

You looked out the window at the group of people walking by.

The white haired man looked at you and put his hand on your head.

"Do you know anyone?" He asked.

"No, nobody." You muttered as you twisted a candy on a stick in your mouth.

"That one is Zenin. Hit him if you want. I don't like Zenins, and he's almost the same as his father. I guess." He chuckled.

"I prefer not to think too quickly. Before I judge him, I'd rather get to know him first."

"Just be careful. One misstep by him, and he'll regret getting too close to you."

"Why?"

"I don't want anyone to hurt my little kouhai. I will be with you as long as I can."

You laughed.

"Senpai, I don't need a babysitter."

"I'm not a babysitter." raised one finger. "I just don't want some asshole to ruin your life at some point."

You looked at him, real concern in his voice.

You rested the back of your head on his shoulder, and when he looked at you, you smiled at him.

"Okay Senpai. I'm counting on you."

He smiled again before going back to staring out the window.

"Oh, look! Utahime came too."

"Who is this?" you asked.

"You'll see soon." He grabbed the handle to open the window. He stuck his head out with a smile. "Hey Utahime!" he shouted laughing.

You saw everyone stop and look at you.

"Gojo, Fuck off!" The woman screamed.

You widened your eyes upon hearing that.

"I'm glad to see you too!"

"Fuck off you damn idiot!"

She's gone, out of your sight.

"What was that, senpai?" you asked looking at him as he laughed.

"She really hates me. But it's funny when he calls me like that."

"You don't feel bad about her calling you that?"

"Nope. But if you called me names like that, then I'd be sad."

Read more on Wattpad and Ao3

#yandere gojo satoru #yandere #yandere gojo #gojo x reader #gojou satoru x you #gojo fanfic

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canirove · 10 months

Text

Granada | Chapter 5

Previous chapter | Next chapter

Masterlist

"Tomorrow is the big day, girls. How are you feeling?" the Queen asked.

"I am so nervous, your majesty" Anne replied. "But also really excited about my future with Prince Diogo."

"What about you, Lady Rice? Are you excited to marry Rúben?"

"I… I'm…" Rowena didn't know how she felt. Most conversations with the prince consisted of bickering, eye rolling, and her wanting to punch him in the face or just hit him with something. But there were also moments where he was actually nice with her and where they connected, like had happened with the cupcakes or at the stables. And it was too confusing.

"She's speechless" Anne chuckled.

"A valid feeling" the Queen smiled. "But tell me… Are you ready for everything? Not only for the ceremony and the party. For what comes after too."

"You mean… the wedding night?" Anne whispered.

"Exactly, my dear. You know how it goes, right?"

"Lady Rice explained it to us. Didn't she, Rowena?"

"She did, yes" she replied. How to forget the most awkward conversation she had ever had with her mother.

"Good, good. I've also spoken with the boys, asked them to be patient and kind with you."

"That's very nice of you, your majesty. Thank you" Anne said.

"As their mother, it is the least I could do. Though I wish I could do more and not have you going through that moment while there are people watching" she said, taking Anne's hand on hers. Since she was marrying the heir to the throne, their consummation had to be witnessed.

"We'll be fine, your majesty. We'll focus on each other and nothing else" Anne smiled.

"You Rowena will be more lucky."

"What?"

"You and Rúben won't have this pressure. You'll have the whole night for yourselves" the Queen said.

"Oh, yes. We… Umm… I'm going to pour myself some more wine. Would you like some too?"

"We are fine, my dear. But thank you" the Queen said, going back to her conversation with Anne while Rowena focused on her drink, hoping that it would calm her down a bit and make her think of something that wasn't her wedding night with the prince.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

"This is it. There is no going back now" Prince Rúben whispered.

"I can still run away while everyone is looking at Anne and Prince Diogo say their vows" Rowena whispered back.

"You actually could, yes" he chuckled. "But I don't think you will."

"Why not?"

"You love Princess Anne, she is your best friend. You would never ruin such an important and happy moment for her." And he wasn't wrong. She could never do that to Anne. Unlike her, she had fallen head over heels for Prince Diogo, and it looked like the same had happened to him. They were in love, and she could never ruin their happiness like that.

"Guess I'll have to wait until the banquet" Rowena sighed.

"Would like to see you trying" he smirked.

"My Prince, my lady. Your turn" the priest said, not allowing Rowena to give him a reply.

It was time. This was it. The end of her freedom.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

"You still haven't run away."

"Just waiting for the right moment" Rowena said while Rúben made her spin. She had to get used to calling him that, he was her husband now.

"Maybe when everyone is drunk and it is easier to sneak around?"

"For example."

"Remember to get out of this dress, though. It is too distracting, especially if someone is going to run after you."

"Then maybe I should keep it. If they are distracted, it'll be easier to escape" she replied, trying to look away and not blush.

The dress she had chosen was a lot simpler than the one they had already made for her. It fitted her body in all the right places, including her hips, and it had a low back, the fabric covering just enough. It was what she wanted, but what Rúben had asked her to choose too.

She had never had him or his words in mind when designing it with the seamstress, but she couldn't deny that she had enjoyed the way he had reacted when he saw her walking towards the aisle.

His eyes had slowly scanned her body, taking every inch in as he had done when they first met. Though it had been the "you look gorgeous" he had whispered in her ear when she stood by his side, what had made her feel those butterflies on the stomach Anne always talked about.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

"Where is he? What is taking him so long?" Rowena said as she paced around the room.

"He's probably still getting ready" her maid replied.

"But what is he doing? Combing his hair?" she snorted.

At that, the door opened.

"You may leave" Rúben said to the maid.

"My prince."

"Finally! I thought you would never show up!" Rowena said once the maid was gone.

"Didn't know you were that eager about our wedding night" he smirked.

"I'm eager about going to bed. To sleep. It's been a very long day" she said, opening the bed and getting inside.

"Wait, what?"

"Didn't you hear what I just said?"

"I heard it. Clearly. But it is our wedding night."

"And?"

"And?" he laughed. "Rowena…."

"Don't you dare coming any closer" she warned him. "You aren't laying a single finger on me."

"It doesn't have to be on you. It can be in you."

"I beg your pardon?"

"Didn't you know it was possible?"

"I… I…" Rowena mumbled, not knowing what to say or do.

"You…" Rúben said as he moved towards her side of the bed.

"I told you to not come any closer!"

"Alright, fine. No need to yell."

"Where are you going?" she asked him.

"To my side of the bed, of course."

"We aren't sharing the bed."

"What?" the prince laughed. "Then where do you want me to sleep? On the floor?"

"Sounds perfect to me" Rowena smiled.

"This is my bed. I am sleeping on it."

"Then I will sleep on the floor" she replied, throwing a pillow and getting out of bed.

"What are you doing? Have you gone mad?"

"Uh?"

"Rowena, you are not sleeping on the floor. You are my wife."

"Thank you for reminding me of it, I had forgotten" she said, rolling her eyes.

"Come here."

"No."

"Rowena…"

"Good night, husband" she said as she laid on the floor.

"Dear Lord" he sighed before moving to where she was and picking her up.

"Rúben! Put me down at once!"

"Fine" he smiled, letting her fall on the bed.

"Idiot!"

"You're welcome" he said as he walked to his side of the bed once again.

"What are you doing now?"

"Getting ready for bed."

"Shirtless?"

"That's how I always sleep" he shrugged before taking off his shirt and making Rowena gasp. She had never seen so many muscles on anyone before. She actually didn't know a person could have so many muscles. On his arms, his chest, his stomach… They were everywhere. And then there also were those things on his hips that went all the way down, definitely leading… there.

"Liking what you see, wife?" Rúben smirked.

"There is nothing to like."

"Sure" he chuckled. "Good night, cupcake."

"Good night" she replied before laying down and as away from him as she could.

"A bit more, and I'll have to pick you up from the floor. Again."

"Shut up" Rowena replied. But he was right. She moved a lot while sleeping, and if she wasn't careful…

"Where are you going now?" Rúben asked.

"To fetch this" she said, picking some pillows.

"Don't you have enough with just one?"

"I do not, no."

"What… what are you doing?"

"A pillow wall. This is my side of the bed and that's yours, and you aren't allowed to cross to mine."

"What if you cross to mine?" he smirked.

"That won't happen. Good night, Rúben" she said, getting in bed again.

"Good night, Romina" he replied, laughing after she tried to hit him through the pillows.

#ruben dias #ruben dias fanfic #ruben dias imagine #football fanfic #football imagine

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finkinthisfrew · 7 months

Text

Anything (Pt.49)

I woke up in Matty's arms, snuggled up against him, our limbs entangled with each other as Matty's phone started to ring. He groaned into my ear, making me giggle as he nuzzled his nose into my cheek.

I reached over to grab his phone where it lay next to us on the couch but didn't recognize the phone number.

"It's a random number, should I decline it?" I asked, turning back towards Matty.

He strained his neck to look over at the number, squinting one eye open, then groaned even louder as he fell back on the throw pillow.

"It's my manager. S'probably calling to ask if I've booked my flight back yet," he grumbled in sleepy annoyance before snuggling back into me."I won't go," he mumbled in my ear stubbornly, "You can't make me."

"I'm glad to hear that," I whispered back with a giggle before I placed his phone gently on his chest, "but I don't wanna get you in trouble."

Matty put his hand over his eyes, then dragged it down his face as he yawned before reluctantly picking up his phone and answering.

I lay there as he spoke to his manager, listening to the soothing melody and timbre of his voice. I let the charm of his accent wash over me, enjoying the hum of his chest in my ear, the way it vibrated against my cheek and the hand I rested upon his heart. He rubbed my back absent-mindedly, pulling me in and kissing the top of my head from time to time as he listened to his manager rattle off flights and schedules.

"Welp," he said after he finally hung up and tossed his phone aside. "I have good news and bad news. What would you like to hear first?" he asked as he turned to face me, running his fingers curiously over my eyebrows which were arched in curiosity.

"Bad. Always bad first," I said firmly as I wiggled my eyebrows under his finger, earning a chuckle from him. Oh, how I adored that sound.

"Well, I have to be on a flight tomorrow morning at 9 a.m.," he grumbled.

"That's not so bad! I was worried you'd have to leave tonight," I said as I leaned forward and kissed the top of his cheekbone, his frown melting into a sweet little smile.

"Mmmm," he sighed to himself in happiness. "These little lips'll be the death of me, you know that?" he said with a cute grin as tugged at my bottom lip gently with his fingers, then planted a soft kiss on my mouth. "I guess you're right," he said with a sigh, "but I was hoping for something a little later... that's the latest they're willing to let me risk."

"I'll take whatever I can get," I said with a small yawn as I sleepily pulled myself closer to his warmth.

"How are you feeling?" Matty asked, cupping my cheek softly, his voice softer now as he looked down at me, concern shaping his brow.

I didn't like thinking about it. I'd been doing a very good job of not thinking about what had happened so far, and I didn't want it to ruin our one night together.

"I'm good! A bit sore and tired still I guess, but otherwise my body feels fine," I said in the most chipper voice I could manage while averting my eyes, suddenly very focused on the string of Matty's hoodie. It felt wrong keeping the truth concealed from Matty, but I didn't know if I had the strength to look at it myself right now. "So what's the good news?" I asked, praying inside that he'd allow me to change the subject.

He looked at me silently, gently tugging at my eyes with his own. I couldn't avoid their pull.

"And what about in here, love?" he said softly, tapping his finger lightly on my cheekbone, his hand still holding my face.

We sat in silence for a few moments as my mind slowly began to allow the events of last night back in. I fought back against them, hard, and I could feel my anxiety ramp up as I tried to shut down my brain. I took several deep breaths, calming myself as Matty sat patiently, watching my internal struggle play on my face.

"I don't know how to answer that question..." I said finally, my voice meek. Matty's arm around me tightened as my brain continued to storm on. Silence enveloped us again as the memories hit me like waves, one after the other.

Feeling foggy and drunk. crash

Not being able to find Juliette. crash

Losing control of my body. crash

Nothing making sense. crash

Matty feeling just out of reach. crash

Panicking. crash

The hands. BAM

The wave took me under and suddenly I couldn't breathe. I'd forgotten all about the man- or maybe I'd subconsciously blocked him out, I'm not sure. But I was swirling around in darkness, and I couldn't tell what way was up or down. My lungs were full of ice- my chest on fire. I was freefalling, but I was also drowning. And it wouldn't stop. I was dying, but it was neverending. It was happening to me all over again...

I think I may have blacked out with rage and shock. All I remember was realizing the extreme soreness in my fists. It was a different soreness than the rest of my body, except for the one in my throat- that one matched. I felt the thuds of my fists reverberate through my body, my pinky beginning to throb from repetitive impact. My throat seared in pain again.

Something soft and glowing entered my swirling darkness, brightening it slightly. I savoured the way it danced through me, its beauty so radiant, it felt heartbreaking.

"...I'm so sorry, my angel... I'm so sorry... I love you..." Matty's voice sung through my hollow chest, pulling me out of my pit of darkness one inch at a time. I realized then that the pain in my hands was from my own actions- I had been hitting Matty's chest like a child throwing a temper tantrum. And he hadn't held me back. He simply let me sob and scream and cry, only interjecting between my outbursts with softly spoken words of love.

Another sob escaped my chest, and I could hear the hoarseness in my voice. At least my throat matched how I felt on the inside. There was something almost satisfying about that, it's pain which neared numbness.

"I hate him."

The words fell out of my mouth. I didn't remember thinking them. They just tumbled out, and I sat there staring at them where they lay on the floor.

"I know baby. I do too," Matty agreed softly.

"And I feel so fucking broken," I said angrily, hissing the last word. "I fucking hate him!" I said again, this time louder, the rage inside me building rapidly.

"I know, Anna," Matty whispered comfortingly.

"I'm so tired of feeling so fucking broken all the time!" I said through clenched teeth. The anger pumped through my veins, heating me from within. "Why do I have to be the broken one! Why can't they be the broken ones for once?! I'm so tired of being made into damaged goods!" My voice was loud now, I couldn't control it.

"You aren't damaged goods, babe," Matty said soothingly, but I wasn't open to receiving comfort right now.

"I am! You can't tell me what I am or am not right now!" I yelled at him, pulling away.

"I know, baby, I'm sorry. You're right," he said, the hurt in his eyes pushed aside by his desperation to help.

"And stop saying 'I know'! You don't know! You don't know how I feel! You don't know, Matty!" I shot at him. "You don't know what it feels like to be assaulted like that! To be violated like that! Or to have that happen to you over and over and over and then be told that pain was my fault! So don't you fucking dare say that you know!" I screamed, losing myself in the spiral. I turned to face away from his look of shock, hiding my shame for yelling at him. I was too upset to be rational right now.

I fumed as I stared at the rain that tapped gently at the wall of windows beside us, its pitter-patter the only relief from the now otherwise silent living room.

"I'm sorry..." Matty said quietly, his tone pleading.

I whipped my head back to look at him, fire blazing in my eyes now.

"You should be!" I yelled, then ripped the duvet off before standing up and walking away, throwing open the door to the patio and slamming it shut behind me.

I stomped my way over to the large outdoor couch, my socks soaking up the rain on my way. I curled up on the couch with my back to Matty. I couldn't look at him right now. I was too angry at him. But more than that, I was too angry with myself for yelling at him, and I hated myself for it. I knew none of this had anything to do with him, but I was just so overloaded, and my body couldn't take it anymore. All I wanted was some relief- just a moment. But it wouldn't come.

I sat there on the wet couch, tilted my head up to the sky, and cried. As I let the cool drops fall on my face, I began wishing the rain, which washed my tears away one by one, could wash my pain away too.

I didn't hear his footsteps as he walked up to where I sat on the couch, his sounds disguised by the steady rainfall. A warm hand on my shoulder brought me back. I turned to look at him, my heart only further broken by the look of sadness on his face. As I turned to face him, he sat and took my hand in his, and we sat in hurt silence together.

"You can be angry at me," was all he said. Quietly. I could barely hear him over the sound of the rain. But there was no judgement in his voice, and no tone of disappointment- only Matty offering me simple reassurance.

At that moment, my chest collapsed, horrified I ever yelled at him. My face fell to my hands, and he reached to put his arm around me. I let him pull me into his lap, realizing how much worse I was making myself feel by ever having left it. He pulled my face into his neck, nuzzling me into my spot for me, then threaded his fingers through my hair. I fought back against the tears that welled as he wrapped his arms around me and rested his cheek on my head.

"You can yell at me- it's okay," he reassured me quietly in my ear. He kissed my temple as he gently swayed me in his arms. "It's okay."

He sat silently just holding me, and his words made my remaining anger shatter. His comforting voice, his warm embrace, his caring demeanour- I knew I was yelling at the wrong person. I finally let my guard down, sinking into his chest.

We sat in silence listening to the rain fall around us. I tried to calm myself, fiddling with the strings of Matty's hoodie, which were now damp from the rain as I struggled to push out my feelings.

"I don't want to be mad anymore," I whispered into his neck, my voice shaking. "I'm so tired of being mad all the time, Matty," I said between the tears that now fell as steadily as the rain that made its way into our clothes.

He pressed a kiss into my forehead.

"One day you won't be. I promise. But right now it doesn't feel okay, and that's okay," he said, his words muffled slightly as his kiss never left my skin. "You can feel however you want to feel- however you need to feel right now," he said. He rocked me back and forth for a bit as I finally let his comforting words work their way through my hardened exterior.

I let his words wash over me, soothing my aching heart. His hand rubbed my back, and I realized I wasn't alone this time. It felt nice to not be alone. Fuck I was so grateful for him. And I had been a complete menace to him. I was so undeserving of him.

"I'm sorry," I began quietly, but before I could finish, Matty cut me off.

"No, don't even start- you don't have to apologize," he said softly, but firmly, his sway continuing to lull me into a calmer state. "

"I hit you. I yelled... I'm so sorry Matty," I whispered, my voice wobbling from the mortifying horror I felt.

"You were upset. Rightfully upset. I could have moved away, but I didn't," he said gently. "I didn't want you to go through that alone. That was my choice."

I looked up at him, knowing already what I'd find. He looked down at me with unwavering sincerity. It made me nauseous, realizing how perfect he was and how terrible I'd been to him.

"I'm so sorry, Matty," I said to him as he shook his head with a furrowed brow. "I'm so fucked up. I'm so sorry," I croaked. My whole body felt like lead, heavy where I sat in Matty's lap. His hand continued to rub my back as we looked at each other, and I clung to his eyes like a liferaft, finding myself waiting desperately for his next words.

"I love you as you are," he said slowly, evenly, his eyes scanning mine, letting me take his words one at a time and savour them as I mulled them over, flipping them over and feeling them in my mind like little novels- each one hefty and full of meaning. "I love you always," he said, the hand in my hair guiding my face gently to his. Our foreheads rested on each other and his breath danced across my numbed skin, bringing life back into me with its warmth. "We're in this together now, you aren't alone. Your pain is my pain, Anna."

We sat in silence for quite a while, the rain soaking our hair and clothes. I clutched at Matty's sweater. I felt like I was hanging on for dear life.

"I'd think I'd die without you," I whispered to him, watching a drop hanging from his parted lips, unsure of if it was my tear or the rain that clung to it so dearly.

"I'd die without you," he whispered back without hesitation, before finally bringing his lips to mine. He didn't kiss me at first, his lips just touched mine, a need for closeness fulfilled. It wasn't enough for me though. I needed more of him. I kissed his lower lip which hung open against my mouth, greedily taking him in, sucking on it with desire for more. His lips closed on mine, meeting my hectic energy with a softness I didn't realize I needed in that moment. I wanted to envelope myself in him, but what he knew I needed most was tenderness. I needed to be treated with care and intention. I needed Matty.

He kissed me perfectly, and I clung to him like a liferaft, because he was one in that moment. The rain poured down our faces, falling harder now, drenching us as we kissed. We kissed forever. My heart felt slightly less broken with Matty patiently picking up its pieces one by one. When our lips parted, I began to shiver- the distraction of our kiss no longer cloaking the cold which now seeped through my clothes to my tired and worn body.

"Let's take you inside and get you warmed up, does that sound alright?"

He carried me back inside, and we both knew I wasn't healed or fixed or everything was fine now. But I realized as Matty patted me dry with a towel, wrapping me up in fresh dry clothes before tucking us back into our spot on the couch, that we were in this together now. I didn't have to decay in this darkness alone anymore. I had him. I had Matty.

#matty healy #the 1975 #at their very best #love #bfiafl #tender #matty the 1975 #lovers #fanfic #fanfiction #the 1975 fanfic #matty smut #matty #matty 1975 #matty x reader #matty healy fanfiction #matty healy smut

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blondeboyfriend · 10 months

Text

𝐑𝐄𝐌𝐄𝐌𝐁𝐄𝐑 𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐄𝐑 𝐃𝐀𝐘𝐒 (𝐈𝐈𝐈)

[panel reads from right to left]

« Part 2 | Part 4 » [ PAIRING ] Zeke Yeager x f!reader [ SYNOPSIS ] As summer comes to an end Zeke disengages from you until he reaches out to go on an excursion to the headlands. [ WORD COUNT ] 3.9k [ CONTENT ] Mentions of vomit and underage drinking, cigarettes, a little angst, depression, kissing, and y/n and Zeke pop off about gentrification because I have a lot of feelings.

September rolled around much too fast. August felt like a blur.

Neither of you brought up the kiss or your confession after it happened. You assumed it would be a turning point in your relationship with Zeke, but he acted like that day with the snow cones was merely that: a day with snow cones. Following his lead you kept your feelings to yourself and masked your disappointment with a cool, carefree attitude. You tried to mirror Zeke’s behavior, unbothered and unchanged.

But you weren’t particularly good at it. You couldn’t kill the longing glances you’d give him when he wasn’t paying attention.

That’s why it wasn’t particularly surprising when Zeke drifted away from you. He never outright ignored you, but you knew you weren’t a priority anymore. He’d make plans with you and cancel them at the last minute. He was always so apologetic, so disarming. Anytime you planned to call out his actions he said something that quelled the raging sea inside you.

“You realize this is the fifth time you’ve done this to me, right?” you managed to ask one night.

It was one of the odd times he called you. Usually you were the one chasing after him.

“I know. I know. That’s why I wanted to make it up to you. I’m not doing anything this weekend. I’m free tomorrow.”

“I find that hard to believe,” you scoffed.

You heard him deeply sigh.

“I swear.”

You didn’t want to get your hopes up. There was a lengthy pause between you two. You could hear Eren being a little gremlin in the background.

“Fine. What do you wanna do?”

“I want to go wander around up north.”

“You don’t mean that in a Into the Wild sense, right?”

“What? No. I want to go see the ruins of that burnt down swimming pool thing. Fuck. I don’t know what you’d call it. A bath house? No. I don’t like that implication…” He trailed off. “Hold on.”

You held.

“A swimming hall? Natatorium? The… whatever. Look it up. The owners burnt it down themselves.”

“I have to do homework? Is that what you’re telling me?”

“You have to go with me. No one else will.”

You couldn’t help but feel a little bad for him. Zeke could be so needlessly sensitive. You couldn’t think of a reason why none of his friends wouldn’t want to go cavorting around the physical remnants of insurance fraud.

“Alright. I’ll go I guess. But you’re buying me food.”

“I’ll cover everything!” he blurted out.

“I was cool with you just buying food but okay.”

“Shit. I got ahead of myself,” he lamented.

Zeke met you at the train station. It was a shock to see him in normal clothes even if this wasn’t the first time. He actually looked rather put together. Dark green corduroy straight leg pants, a fitted grey t-shirt lazily tucked in, and matte black Doc Martens. He had a windbreaker tossed over his arm, his backpack dangling lazily off his shoulder.

“Did you seriously do a French tuck?”

“Excuse me for watching Queer Eye and taking notes… Do I look stupid?”

No, you thought to yourself. He looked positively adorable. You tried not to stare at him too hard; you didn’t want him to see you all starry-eyed because he wore pants with no grass stains.

“You do but it’s whatever,” you lied.

“You look… nice.”

You were dressed the same as usual. It was impossible to tell if he was being an ass or was simply nervous and didn’t know how to express himself.

“Just nice?” you teased, opting to give him shit.

He glanced to the side, scratching behind his ear.

“I lied. You look like garbage.”

“On a hot, summer day?”

“Only the hottest for you, kiddo.”

Kiddo. You hadn’t heard him say it in so long; it was music to your ears. Memories of the good times came flooding back to you, but still. You couldn’t kill the vague sense of resentment you held deep inside.

Zeke bought your train ticket as promised. He winced when he saw how high the fares went up.

“That much to get to the city?”

“I know. The more transplants that move here, the more expensive everything gets.”

“You know that place where we'd get those breakfast sandwiches by my house?”

It was clear where he was going. So many old standbys were going out of business. Your favorite bookstore had just shut its doors the week before, a heartbreak if there ever was one.

‘It’s gone, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, couple weeks ago. It’s going to be fucking beer garden.”

“Not another one!” you shrieked.

Beer gardens seemed to be popping up everywhere. They were the bane of your existence. They were overpriced. You were too young to go to them. And wherever they popped up so did an influx of drunken tech workers.

“I know. Poor Eren thought it was going to be a bear garden.”

The two of you trudged up the stairs to the train platform because as per usual the escalators were out of service and the elevator operated at a snail’s pace.

“A bear garden could be cool,” you pondered.

“Eugh. No. You could not do that humanely.”

“Oh well excuse me for entertaining a child’s idea,” you snarked, elbowing Zeke gently in the ribs.

“Sorry, sorry. I spent an hour trying to tell Eren why it would be fucked up. It was like talking about SeaWorld all over again.”

“You’re probably better off not trying to educate a little boy on that stuff.”

The train rolled in the second you summited the stairs. You both sprinted to the train, bumping into each other as you tried to enter the doors side by side at the same time. Just as you were about to eat absolute shit, Zeke reached and grabbed your waist saving you from colliding on the dirty floor of the train.

“Thanks. I would have been pretty grossed out if my face touched that.”

“No problem. You’re, uh, too cute to be falling face first into old gum and whatever that stain is.”

He pointed at a particularly gross, mysterious stain. You shivered at the sight of it and collapsed into a seat. Zeke sat down next to you and rested his head on your shoulder.

“You have a lot of nerve acting like this considering you’ve been a total dickhead to me.”

He shut his eyes and exhaled.

“I know.”

“Are you going to bless me with an explanation?”

‘It’s embarrassing for so many reasons.”

You gently pushed him off of you.

“I think we have time.”

He was silent, shoulders slumped forward. He obscured his face with his hands.

You continued, “I tell you I like you. You kiss me. And then you disappear?”

“I didn’t disappear. I talked to you.”

“Barely! You sent me memes, Zeke! That doesn’t count.”

“They were really fucking funny though. The best ones in my camera roll. I don’t send those to just anyone.”

“That almost makes it worse. You thought you could placate me with memes? Pictures of cute dogs? Panels from Boy’s Club?”

He finally looked up, and fixed his gaze on you.

“They were the best panels. The funniest ones.”

“Zeke. Please tell me you’re kidding,” you sneered louder than expected.

The lone man sitting sharing the train car with you scowled and went to the next one over.

“I needed to disengage! Summer was getting close to being over and I was thinking about college. I mean, this was fun—”

“Was? Was fun? As in it’s not fun anymore?”

He turned away and looked out the window. The cerulean sky was dotted with fluffy white clouds. The weather couldn't have been any more spectacular, a rare even temperature day in September. It was a shame it was being wasted on a mess like this.

“That’s not what I meant. What? Were we supposed to date and then I leave for school? That would’ve just made it worse.”

“... Hold on.”

“What?!”

He didn’t quite yell at you, but it was a tone you hoped to never be on the receiving end of. You’d seen him pull it with his dad constantly, and Eren maybe once or twice. But never you.

“First, you’re not allowed to talk to me like that.”

He lightly banged his head on the window, but remained silent.

“Second, if you were leaving for school you should be… not here right now?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay so why are you not gone?”

It was hard to make sense of any of this. Your feelings were hurt by how he was acting but you were more concerned with his vagueness.

“I didn’t get in,” he muttered in the littlest voice possible.

“Really?”

“Yeah. Really.”

“And you didn’t tell me this because…?”

You wanted him to look at you so you could understand him. He was more than capable of hiding behind his words.

“I felt stupid… I… only applied to one school.”

Consoling him crossed your mind, but you knew he’d never accept it. The rest of the ride was in utter silence.

When you got off the train Zeke looked miserable. A melancholic fog hovered around him.

“Are you hungry?” you asked in a gentle voice.

“I guess.”

“I was thinking the ferry terminal might be cool. There’s a ton of crap there.”

He shrugged and started to walk ahead of you. You grabbed his arm, yanking him backwards. He turned and faced you, utterly bewildered.

“I thought we were hanging out.”

He sighed and adjusted his glasses.

“Good point. I don’t know why I did that. I have no idea where anything is in there anyway.”

“Listen, let’s get some overpriced food. Sit by the pier, watch the traffic on the bridge while we wait for the bus to the headlands. And, I don’t know, you can maybe talk to me?”

“I think I can do that.”

“Good because you said you were paying for everything and I didn’t ask my mom for any money,” you said, holding the door open for him.

When you walked in you were inundated with the smell of fresh baked bread. The inside was magnificent, natural light streaming through the windows of the nave. You walked through the marketplace, peering at every vendors’ wares.

“I want gelato. No wait, macarons. No wait, definitely gelato… Shit no actually—”

Zeke cut you off, stopping you drowning in indecision.

“Both. We’ll get both,” he said, patting you on the head.

The gelato shop ended up having an incredibly long line and neither of you were feeling patient enough to wait it out. Any hint of disappointment either of you felt melted away when you spotted the macaron stand.

You ordered a dozen of them without looking at the hefty price. Zeke winced as he pulled out his dad’s debit card. You could not give a shit. The macarons looked so precious packed away in their pastel pink and green box.

“Let me get the Earl Grey one,” he said as you both walked to the bakery that filled the terminal with the smell of fresh baked bread.

“Not yet!”

He rolled his eyes.

“You’re torturing me on purpose, aren’t you?”

“Kinda,” you said, getting in line to make him buy you a baguette.

“We should get fancy cheese to go with it.”

You weren’t in love with him by any means but you knew if he kept saying things like that you could be. He must’ve known it. He smirked at you the second he noticed your eyes get all wide at the mention of cheese. The disappointment between the two of you when you realized a hunk of aged cheddar would cost you an absurd amount of money was intense.

“What about the camembert?” Zeke asked.

“Twenty bucks.”

“You’re joking. It’s just fucking cheese.”

“Kid, no one’s saying you gotta buy it.”

“Kid?!”

You grabbed Zeke by the arm and dragged him away from the creamery. Getting out of there was your number one priority even if his artisan cheese induced anger was hilarious. You knew he was mere seconds away from going on a tangent about capitalism and dairy farms.

“Kid?!” he repeated as you led him into a gourmet grocery store.

You eyed the perfectly ripe avocados, rushing over to lightly squeeze one.

“They’re perfect.”

You grabbed three.

“That seems a little excessive,” he muttered.

“Oh hush, kid.”

“Seriously?!”

“Zeke, you literally call me ‘kiddo’ constantly. I hope the irony... is this irony? Whatever. I hope the irony isn’t lost on you.”

He read the back of a bag of trail mix.

“Good point.” He paused. “Do I like walnuts?”

You ripped the bag from his hands, saying, “No, it’s pecans you like.”

“I’m glad one of us remembers,” he replied, grabbing a different bag.

After you thoroughly spent his dad’s money on expensive food you sat by the pier to take inventory. Staring down at the box of macarons you realized that maybe twelve was too many for two people.

“You were right. Six would have been plenty.”

“I’ll have you know I’ve amended my stance on that.”

“Have you amended your stance on not telling me shit?

He sighed and looked at his phone.

“Bus will be here in five.”

“Come on! You’re lucky I’m even here with you. I thought about not showing up as some sick form of revenge for how you’ve been acting.”

“I don’t know what to say honestly. There’s no excuse.”

“I’m not asking for excuses. I’m trying to understand.”

He stood up and pointed at the bustling street behind you. A puff of exhaust smoke tickled your nose as you heard the squeak of old brakes.

“You can try to understand on the bus. Let’s go.”

The bus ride felt endless mostly because Zeke didn’t say much the entire time. Forty minutes of what you considered dead air. He’d occasionally comment on how choppy the waves were as the bus snailed across the bridge. He looked so dramatic, eyes narrowed, the side of his head pressed up against the cool window. You knew he was struggling trying to articulate his feelings but you couldn’t help yourself.

“You look so serious right now.”

He turned to you, looking like the definition of miserable. It seemed to be his default emotion for the day. Just as he went to open his mouth the bus driver slammed on the brakes. The crackly speaker mumbled the name of your stop and you both stepped off the bus.

A swift coastal breeze pierced through you. Shivers invaded your body. Your jacket did little to protect you. Without a word Zeke put his windbreaker over your shoulders. You went to say something but he spoke before you had a chance.

“I’ll be fine,” he muttered, wandering down towards the concrete ruins of a burned down natatorium. “I run warm. You know that.”

You hated yourself for knowing that. Many summer nights were spent curled up in a field, head resting on his chest, clinging to his body because you were always a little cold regardless of the season.

His windbreaker smelled faintly of cigarettes and laundry detergent. After pulling it on you trailed after him, carrying the food rather precariously. He turned around and saw you struggling to maneuver yourself down the hill in one piece.

“Shit,” he said, bounding up the hill, grabbing the baguette from you.

“Wow, thank you so much,” you snarked. “You can’t do this shit to me. The whole ‘let me do something really fucking sweet and then act like a clueless asshole the next’ act is tiresome.”

He lowered his eyes and said nothing. You wanted to shake him but, again, losing your footing and careening into the ocean would’ve been hell itself.

The ruins weren’t nearly as interesting as you thought they’d be. When you read about the place getting burned down by the owners in the 1940s for insurance money it sounded so intriguing. But now standing on the concrete ruins all you felt was disappointment.

Zeke sat down and watched as the tide came in and crashed against the ruins.

“I am sorry. You know that,” he murmured.

“I don’t though!” you exclaimed, opening the box of macarons.

Zeke’s hand snuck inside immediately and grabbed the Earl Grey tea one. It was almost as if it materialized inside the box.

“Basically my hubris destroyed my life.”

“That seems really dramatic.”

“It is. But there’s still truth to it. I assumed being an athlete would make up for my average grades.”

“Is that your wording or—”

He cut you off. “Mine. Obviously.”

“I always thought your grades were really good,” you said, biting into a macaron.

“Really good is apparently much more relative than I initially considered.”

“So something shitty happened to you and you decided to push someone that cares about you away?”

“Yeah,” he said, exhaling as if a huge weight had been lifted off his shoulders.

“You’re such an idiot.”

“Where did I say I wasn’t?”

You sighed.

“Good point… I don’t know. What you did fucked me up.”

“I know.”

“I literally had just told you I liked you.”

“I know.”

“And then you ignore me.”

“Yup.”

He reached into his jacket pocket, hand brushing up against your body, and pulled out a pack of cigarettes.

“Sorry. I should have taken them out before you, uh, put it on. That felt invasive.”

You stifled a laugh and patted yourself down for his lighter, handing it over once you found it.

“Do you mind?” he asked, holding up a single cigarette.

“Only if you let me have one.”

“You almost got sick last time.”

“Okay, well… The key word there is almost.”

He relented and handed the cigarette to you. You stared it down, hoping this time you’d be able to keep your cool. He lit it for you like a gentleman. One inhale left your eyes and mouth watering. Zeke plucked it from between your fingers.

“Oh god! Why!?” you called out to the heavens.

“I refuse to feel bad for you. This is the fifth time you’ve done this, kiddo.”

“Fuck you,” you said, spitting into the ocean trying to rid yourself of the taste. “Stop humoring me!”

“I am in no position to say no to you. I’m trying to get back on your good side, remember?”

You moaned and took a sip from your water bottle. He brushed a strand of hair out of your face. The tenderness nearly killed you.

“Why did you leave me hanging? You could’ve cried on my shoulder. These babies were made for crying,” you said, gesturing at your shoulders.

“Embarrassment.”

“Seriously?”

“Pride? I don’t know. Nothing I say is going to make sense. I was acting childish.”

“Okay true.”

“Everyone tried to tell me it was going to be fine, that everything would work itself out, but it didn’t change how idiotic I was.”

“You were confident. Overly. But not idiotic.”

“I also didn’t feel deserving of, you know, people being so fucking understanding.” He took a drag. “Even my dad was understanding which made me withdrawal from everyone out of spite.”

“I mean you saw all your jock friends so you didn’t withdrawal from everyone.”

He reclined, his body lightly thudding against the ground. He took another drag off his cigarette.

“Nope. I lied. I was holed up in my room, wrapped up in a blanket like a hermit,” he said, exhaling.

You bit into another macaron; you didn’t know what to say.

“I didn’t want to do it. I wanted to see you, but I, I don’t know, felt like I was stuck. I didn’t want you to see me like that.”

“I saw you barf into your own hands at a party once.”

“Don’t.”

“You tried to carry it outside.”

He winced and finished off his cigarette.

“Please,” he begged.

“You wept and asked if I’d move to Bombay Beach with you.”

“Stop torturing me.”

“What I’m getting at is I have seen you in much more pathetic situations. You being depressed is way more manageable than you and your vomit hands… to me at least.”

Depression was significantly more complicated than cleaning up a drunk teenage boy. You knew that and kicked yourself for being so callous.

He laughed and put out his cigarette.

“Good point. You’ve definitely seen me at my worst.”

You both sat in silence and ate the macarons. However this time the silence was pleasant. You watched the waves flood over the ruins, leaving them covered with sea foam. A deeper understanding of Zeke’s situation had been granted to you. You were still hurt but at least you knew why he acted the way he did.

“What are your post-graduation plans?” Zeke asked as you both sat on top of a decrepit building used to store military shells. “I probably should have asked that earlier.”

It was your idea to check out the old military buildings nestled away in the hills. One battery touted a perfect view of the ocean. When you crested the hill you were blown away by the vastness of the Pacific. You knew it was big; you weren’t an idiot. But seeing it stretched out in front of you, seemingly endless, was awe inspiring.

“I’m gonna work at the nursery down the street from me, you know, tending to the plants and shit. I’m hoping I can save up enough money before I decide what to do in terms of college. I figure I’ll give myself a year.”

“See? Why can’t I think like you? That’s fun and reasonable.”

You laughed and nudged him with your elbow.

“I mean it kinda sucked realizing I couldn’t just afford to go to school. I dropped the ball on scholarships.”

He broke off a piece of the baguette and handed it to you.

“Eh, it happens.”

You bit into the baguette, savoring the tanginess of the sourdough.

“Could be worse. You could have died,” he quipped.

“The bar is on the floor then if that’s the case.”

“It’s the little things,” he said, resting his head on your shoulder.

You both stared out into the ocean, the sunlight glimmering on the waves.

“When’s the bus supposed to come?”

“An hour or so,” he replied.

“Am I… going to have to worry about you disappearing on me after this?”

“I’d like to think that I won’t. But I feel odd making any promises.”

“Why?”

“Because I’d rather not hurt you again.”

“I’m not asking you to sign a contract,” you giggled. “I just hope that summer isn’t the only thing that brought us together. That’s all.”

“I always assumed it was ditching class. Our benign rebellion.”

Zeke was able to go from dead serious to joking around so fast it made your head spin.

“You can be so obnoxious sometimes.”

“I only do it because I like you.”

“Really?”

He turned to you and pulled you into a hug, kissing your forehead.

“Yup. You’re stuck with me now. I dare you to try and get rid of me.”

It never occurred to you to do such a thing. This is what you always wanted, to be near him. To have his arms wrapped around you, his soft lips pressed against your skin. You needed to remember this moment, to hold onto it during the unkind winter. Every detail was crucial. How his hair got tousled by the salty, sea breeze. How his glasses fogged up when you threw caution to the wind and kissed him deeply. How awkward he was after and how he apologized for not being a good kisser.

“You’re too self conscious,” you said, wrapped up in his embrace.

“Well excuse me for wanting this memory to be special.”

He looked inhumanly adorable as the waning sunlight danced along the apples of his cheeks. The moment couldn’t get any more picturesque.

“It already is.”

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