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wosowrites · 1 year

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Saving the Game (Erin Cuthbert x Reader)

warnings: ⚠️injury, swearing, throwing up⚠️

a/n: I had to reimagine the the second leg of the quarter final so let’s pretend erin wasn’t injured and that the game didnt go to penalties. based off this request:

prompt: in which saving the game means injuring yourself during the champions league quarterfinal and erin takes care of you through your injury.

The champions league quarterfinal was a scary time. Emma had made it extremely clear that we could not concede. No ball should be behind Berger. And Chelsea thought they had it, until they didn't. A goal was scored by Vanessa Gilles in the 76 minute, equalizing the game on aggregate. It was a stressful ten minutes, and then out of nowhere, the ball was in Lyon's half.

Guro ran up the wing, speeding through the Lyon centerbacks. She switched the ball to Lauren James who outskilled Wendy Renard, leaving her Gilles and the keeper. LJ spotted Erin, making a run down the middle. The British woman cut the ball back into the space, Erin struck the ball, and it was behind Endler, and into the net.

You let out a scream, full of excitement as you jumped onto Erins back and kissed the top of her head. The fans has suspicions about a possible relationship between the both of you, but it wasn't confirmed.

The celebrations died down, 2-1, agrogate. 4 minutes left on the clock.

Thats where things went wrong. Lyon got hungry, and worried. They needed a goal more than anything. And that's when Chelsea panicked. As Lyon started their counter attack, you tracked back, positioning yourself in the midfield. You almost got the ball from Lindsey, but she faked you out. Magda and Kadeisha were alone. You tried to get back but Magda had no choice. She slid, clipping the corner of Lindsey's foot.

The American went flying, it wasn't a bad tackle, but she needed to sell it. Magda argued, but a penalty was awarded right away. You cursed yourself, wishing you would have gotten the ball.

"Hey. I know what you're thinking. Don't. Do not think anything bad about yourself. Ann-Kat's got this." Erin told you, discreetly putting her hand on the small of your back and giving you a closed lip smile.

Lindsey Horan put the ball down on the penalty spot and breathed in deeply. You positioned yourself in between Magda and Guro, ready to run into the box and clear the ball.

The referee blew her whistle, and the American ran towards the ball. Except she missed. The ball bounced off the crossbar and went flying back into play. You were quick to run into the box, Ann Kat yelling at you to position yourself on the far post. And thats what you did. Except suddenly, you were a bit in front the goal line, and the ball was coming flying in your direction. If you didn't move, it would slip into the night right between you and the post. So, as any footballer would do, you moved.

There was a three meter distance between yourself and the post, and you realized as you were already mid air that your jump to block the shot would end in only one way. Your head colliding with the post.

But it was too late, and you honestly didn't care. All you wanted was for your team to win this. So you took it. The feeling of the ball hitting your stomach and bouncing off hurt, but it was nothing compared to your head smashing into the lower part of the post.

Your screams filled the stadium and even though the ball was technically still in play, everyone had forgotten about it. Lyon and Chelsea players alike crowded around you. You saw double, no, triple as you lay on the floor. Blood clouded your vision as you groaned. You saw people being pushed to the side and then a face so familiar you could have smiled. Erin.

And then everything went black.

You woke up due to cold water falling on your face. You would have jumped up if it wasn’t for Erin’s hands on your chest pushing you down into the turf. "Don’t move. You probably have a serious concussion." she said, gently brushing strands of bloody hair off your forehead. "Why the water?" you groaned. "Sorry, couldn’t do anything with you passed out." the medic told you. "You saved the game y/n. It was incredible. Horrifying to watch by the way, when they showed the replay on the screen Jessie looked like she was gonna throw up." Erin laughed, trying to lighten the mood. You just smiled gently. "Okay, let’s get you off this field." the medic said.

A stretcher was now at your side and both men gently lifted you onto it, telling another medic to hold your head steady. You laid on the stretcher, looking up at the sky through the open stadium roof. You were a little confused when the stretcher lifted up and heard no kind of applause whatsoever. You looked around to see everyone shaking their hands in the air instead of clapping. Honestly, you were relived, you didn’t think your head would be able to take the loud noise. "Our fans are pretty amazing." you said gently. "Tell me about it." Erin laughed.

As they carried you off, you felt your eyes fluttering. You were struggling to stay awake, your body hurt, and you didn’t feel good. It was only when you got carried into the tunnel and when Erin left you as she couldn’t walk off the field that you told the medic to stop.

"Mark. Mark stop walking. I think i’m gonna-" you didn’t finish your sentence as you sat up and leaned over the edge, throwing up.

Throwing up was your biggest fear. You hated it. Hated the feeling, the taste, everything about it. It made you cry, and shake and just want to pass out every time you threw up. Your team didn’t know about this fear, and you wanted to keep it that way.

Your chest heaved up and down as you cried, whispering 'oh my god' multiple times. "Hey, hey. It’s okay. Don’t worry about it." Mark said, calmly. "I’ll get the janitor, bring her to the medical examiners room." He ordered.

You had always liked the medics, they were nice to you.

You laid down on your side, weeping silently. You were scared.

There was a moment in time that was a blur. You got transferred to a bed, another medic gave you a bucket and changed the bandages on your head. He stabilized your neck and then had to do a few examinations on you. It was clear off the bat that you were seriously concussed.

You ended up falling asleep on the bed, tears had made your cheeks wet, and you were so tired your heart hurt.

You woke up an hour later, disoriented, in pain, and wanting your girlfriend by your side. And surely enough, that’s where she was. You noticed her as you turned your head gently, her eyes were closed and she was leaning back on the chair. Well, she was the one you noticed first, it was only a few seconds later that you saw everybody else. Magda, P, Keish and Jessie were squeezed onto the sofa, all of them asleep. Some girls were on the floor, others on stools, and all of them were there with you.

An hour earlier.

The Chelsea girls were extatic about their win, but the fear and worry they felt for you overtook the joy. The second the whistle blew, Erin jogged into the tunnel, followed by Emma Hayes and a few of the girls who were on the bench.

She headed to the medical examiners room and knocked gently on the door. Mark opened it to see Emma, Emily and Erin. "She’s asleep." he said, walking out of the room and closing the door. "And her head?" Emma said, worried. "She’s seriously concussed. Out for about a month I’d say."

Emma groaned loudly, the sound of her frustration filling the room along with the sound of the Chelsea girls coming into the tunnel. "Ill tell the girls, Erin. Go sit with her." Emma told the scottish midfielder.

Erin nodded and thanked Emma, opening the door to the room and seeing your figure on the bed in the corner. She pulled up a chair and sat next to you, noticing the wetness of your cheeks. She gently wiped the cold tears away with her palm, kissing your forehead and then sitting down.

Only ten minutes later, Erin heard the door open and quietly, the team poured in. "You guys don’t need to be here, it’s okay." Erin whispered. "She’s our teammate, and we would still be out there playing if it wasn’t for her." Magda said, earning quiet agreements from the team. "And you’re our teammate, and we’re not going anywhere until she wakes up." Sam added.

The girls settled into the room, all looking at you, who looked oddly peaceful.

Current time.

"Erin," you whispered, sitting up and shaking her gently.

She jumped up quickly, suddenly on her feet as you gave her wide eyes. "It’s okay. It’s all good, I’m good. Sit down." you said, smiling at her lightly.

She didn’t though, not yet. Instead she brought you in for a tight hug and didn’t let go. "Your head… the way it bent. It’s not- it was terrifying." she said to you, burying her head in your hair. "Shh, I’m okay baby," you said to her, rubbing circles on her back.

People were starting to wake up and stand up, but you kept your attention on Erin. She pulled away and cupped your jaw, kissing you a few times before pressing a kiss to your forehead.

"Never do that again," Ann- Kat said to you. "It’s my job to do crazy dives." she added, making you laugh. "And we would have won in a PK shootout. This is is us…" Sam said.

"This is Chelsea." The whole room said softly.

#woso fic #woso imagine #woso x reader #woso #chelsea fcw #jessie fleming #erin cuthbert #magda eriksson #lyon women

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trancylovecraft · 10 months

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Is it ok for you to write platonic yandere with nurse bendy (she will always have a special place in my heart<3)

(MORAL OREL) YANDERE PLATONIC! NURSE BENDY x READER: HEADCANNONS

• Nurse Bendy, Probably one of the better ones in Moralton. Though I suppose that doesn’t mean much.

• Protective, Little bit Obsessive, Delusional and Loving.

• Protective in the way she just wants to shield you from the horrors of the world, The horrors she had to go through. She doesn't ever want that to happen to you, Even the thought makes her anxious.

• A little obsessive in the way how she just loves you like the child she never had (Or have met yet)

• Loving in the way she just adores showering you in affection, She likes giving you hugs or kisses on the forehead. She likes holding your hand as she walks you to school, Carefully making sure you don't trip over any rocks or stumble over any little dip in the ground.

• Delusional? We’ll get onto that later.

• There’s really only one way I see this going while platonic and that is a Maternal relationship with her.

• She sees herself as your mother, And this is where we get onto the delusional part.

• If she didn’t give birth to you it doesn't really matter, She completely believes you are her child no matter what evidence you give. She's also delusional in the way she believes you’re always going to be her child, No matter how old you get you just aren’t ready to leave the nest yet according to her.

• She’s extremely doting towards you, She always checks up on your health and brings you little snacks throughout the day.

• If you weren't her biological child then there’s a few ways I can see this going

• One: You could be a kid at the school who goes in for a Check-up, Bendy gets attached. Two: You’re a little bit older (Teenage years) and get a part time job at the hospital and again, She gets attached.

• We’ll go with option 2

• So when you come into the reception and talk to her so politely with full respect she takes a great liking to you as she directs you to your destination.

• Over the next few days the cycle continues, And her care for you just grows more and more.

• She begins to fret about your health. She asks if you’ve been eating well, If you dare say you’ve forgotten your lunch she’ll be coming in with a homemade packed lunch the next day. She often checks up on you to make sure you're alright, She cares you know

• Eventually her pretend bear family back home gets neglected. She doesn't need them anymore, You're here now. You settle the familial craving inside her.

• Soon enough she starts seeing herself as your mother, Then enough she believes it. Memories suddenly form inside her head: The day you were born, your first steps, The time you fell off your bike and she took you out to get ice-cream. All the way up to how she helped you get the job at the hospital she worked at.

• Of course, All these memories are completely fake and never happened. But Bendy doesn't know, Or at least pushes the thought out her mind.

• If any love interests or other parental figures arise then Bendy wont kill them. Not Outright.

• Bendy may be delusional. But that does not by any means make her stupid.

• She’s an opportunistic killer, She wont seek them out to kill them specifically (Despite how much she may have wanted to) But will wait until they might catch a bug or a cold. And maybe then she would switch out their cough medicine for cyanide and just let tragedy strike her sword.

• Bendy would also find a way to rid of your parents and other family members if they're around, Either by opportunity or a little manipulation it doesn't matter.

• She views your family as a threat to your safety and just cannot handle that. Besides, why are you staying with them when your dear mother is right here?

• If your parents and family do get out of the picture she will be there to pick you up and sign the adoption papers, Which after how long you’d known her and saw her as a mentor you took no issue to.

• The domestic life of Bendy as your mother is extremely sweet.

• She makes your lunches and helps you out with your homework once you finally move into her newly renovated apartment.

• She buys you little snacks and often comes along to make sure you're okay.

• If you ever do meet joe, Bendy fully expects you two to become quick siblings

• However, The con is her Protective tendencies are now at max.

• She doesn't let you go out with friends often, and on the off chance that she does every thirty minutes she sends a text to ask if you're okay. If you don't answer within ten minutes of the text she will file a missing child report.

• She wants to keep your innocence and wants to completely avoid any conversation about adult topics.

• If you ever do find out about what she may have done to your family you would be completely unable to do anything about it, There is no evidence, Bendy made sure to destroy it, If it ever existed in the first place that is.

• You can run and leave home, She wont stop you. But it won't stop the constant figure in the corner of your eye from appearing. It won't stop the random care packages appearing on your front door, Nor will it stop the little letters appearing on your dining room table describing how much your mother misses you and how bad the real world is, Begging for you to come home.

• Overall, A caring parent yet extremely paranoid

#yandere #yandere x reader #tw yandere #moodboard #yandere x you #moral orel #moral orel fanart #moral orel x reader #female yandere #nurse bendy x reader #nurse bendy #yandere nurse bendy #platonic yandere #yandere platonic bendy #platonic yandere bendy #yandere moral orel x reader #yandere moral orel #moral orel fanfic

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krnsluvvie · 9 months

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love at first, love at second, love at last

doce: el día d (+ wc: 1.3k )

SUMMARY: sae had chosen his career and that was shortly followed by his and y/n's separation. three years pass by and amongst all the lurking and stalking each other's socials, sae is suddenly found back in their hometown. old feelings are resurfaced, current ones are questioned and a whole load of future ones are found in a blur.

once | masterlist | trece

“my god, it's so fucking cold.” you mutter under your breath as you squeeze through the throng towards your seat with kurona closely behind you.

“i told you to wear more clothes, goodness.” kurona reprimands you as he takes a seat next to you, drinks in his hands.

“a hoodie is enough. aren't you cold, too, though?” you hand him the popcorn along with other snacks stacked in the box, grabbing one of the drinks from his hand.

“why would i be? i dressed warmly. unlike someone…” you send him a glare but all's forgotten as the announcer starts speaking, introducing the game and subsequently the teams.

you almost grip your knee in excitement as you wait for isagi to show up.

black hair.

where are you?

isagi shows up all in his glory: in his regular #11 jersey, a mega-watt smile on his face as he moves forward in a line, following the others.

you cup your hands around your mouth, screaming. “YOICHI!!!!!!!! YOU'VE GOT THIS!!!”

isagi turns around, almost glaring, and squeezes his eyes in second-hand embarrassment.

“dang, a little bit of gratitude wouldn't hurt.” you say as you grab the drink, the straw pitifully sitting in the corner of your mouth as you pout.

as if on cue, isagi briefly turns around and waves at you. one blink and you would've missed it. suddenly, all the sour mood turns all sweet and you grab kurona's arm. “did you see that! he noticed me!”

kurona grabs your hand resting on his and fakes interest. “oh my gawd, he was so totally into you!”

your smile drops. “haha, what about you pretend to be his boyfriend instead?”

“that's not what we agreed upon.”

“yes but surely you're doing better than me.”

kurona hums. “well, i've always been a better actor among all of us.”

you roll your eyes. “of course, mr sir actor footballer.”

kurona bumps his shoulder against yours. “we should pretend that we're all in the relationship. or should we make isagi two-time?”

your mouth forms into a line as you bump into his shoulder in retaliation. “PLEASE. let's leave the poor guy alone. he's just trying to kick the ball.” you say as you point at isagi who's standing tall and has his back straightened with his hands behind him.

“next up, we have the current japan u-20 team!”

you watch as the other team makes their appearance on the field. first up is oliver, of course.

he looks around the area as if he's looking for someone. the moment his eyes land on you, you whip your head towards kurona. “is he…”

“who? oh–

“yeah…”

“what's he doing?” you ask.

“making gestures, probably telling you to look at him.”

“urghhhh, that fucker.” your eyes travel back to the field and there he was, waving his hand at you, an almost mocking smile adorning his face. you're ready to raise your middle finger at him but kurona stops you. “his stans are going to kill you. do you want to risk it?”

you inhale. deeply. the drink is left on the bench as you get up, take a step forward and make a heart gesture. the only thing is that it's only your middle fingers with your thumbs connected.

oliver looks like he's laughing but you're not sure as he quickly turns around, going to his respective place.

more and more introductions you don't seem to take note of or are interested in go on until you hear the announcer mention–.

“itoshi sae, number 10!” he walks towards his teammates, stance powerful and his expression screams anything but excited. but it's not like you can see much. head up, he scans the area and you swear, his eyes seem to momentarily settle on you before he returns back to his posture of a powerful footballer and prodigy.

the captains shake hands. and even from this high up you can smell the hostility between them. it's as if the whole field was infected with their greed. to win, to obliterate each other.

and the fans around only enhance it.

as you watch them play, specifically: continuously stealing the ball from the other, you wish you had paid more attention to the football rules.

unfortunately for you, however, you didn't seem to be interested either way, so there was not a need. really. this whole back-and-forth game wasn't really doing it for you.

“wake me up before they finish so i can cheer.”

“y/n, what?– wait–”

your head lols to one side, eyes already closing. before it can hit anything–a person next to you or the ground, or the pole you saw earlier–there's a soft surface found instead. it smells like…

“kurona.” you jerk up, suddenly too energetic for your own good. “oh my god.”

“what's wrong?” kurona looks at you questioningly. the scarf around his neck is now found around yours and your arm is awfully too close to his–if not squashed against it.

“how long has it been?”

“hm, like 40 mins? you awoke at the right time, though. look,” he points at the board. “it's currently a draw and there's less than five minutes to the end.”

you pat his shoulder. “i'm so sorry. you didn't have to do that.”

“would you have rather slept–” his eyes move behind you, indicating. there's a big pole next to you and you can't even imagine what injuries you'd get if you'd landed on it or between the gaps, probably falling off.

“who the fuck thought this was a good idea?”

“beats me.”

you grab his hand–it's cold. huh, all that talk for what.

“thank you.”

kurona smiles. “of course. what wouldn't i do for our little cheerleader.”

you raise your eyebrow. “little? i know damn well you ain't talking.”

kurona redirects his gaze towards the field. “you talk too much. what about you scream for isagi since he's in possession of the ball, huh?”

you chuckle. “we should do it together, you know.”

“i thought you'd never ask.”

“ISAGI, YOU BETTER SCORE.”

“GO, YOICHI, GO!”

isagi moves forward, the goalpost as his final destination in his mind. he's too preoccupied with getting there that he doesn't notice sae in his blind spot. in one swift motion, the ball is in sae's possession.

the crowd cheers even more.

fuck you and your japan's football prodigy. this isn't about him, you think.

suddenly, sae's eyes fleetingly pass over your figure; it's like he knows exactly where you are. in this big area full of people.

in the same second, the ball's stolen by rin. they fight over it.

in the last ten seconds, isagi yoichi manages to take a hold of the stray ball and uses his direct shot–right into where it's supposed to be.

the whole stadium cheers. you and kurona included.

“WHOAAAA!!!”

“ISAGI YOICHI, THE MAN YOU ARE TODAY!”

everyone's out of their breath, clutching onto themselves, their teammates or the turf.

this was rightfully blue lock's victory. but you couldn't blame others for feeling bitter and salty about it.

oliver takes a step toward isagi. he mumbles something but you see them shake hands so maybe it wasn't anything bad. not that they were on bad terms to begin with. game rivalry went far, however, so you could never be too sure about it.

from the corner of your eyes, you see sae breathe heavily, chest heaving as he rests his hands on his hips.

not that you paid any special attention to him but until the game officially ended with the announcer dispersing the crowd and the team, you noticed that he did not look once your way.

a tight knot formed in your throat.

“we should go congratulate isagi, c'mon.”

you blink. “yes! of course, let's go.”

tag list: @kiopanxp @funtuki@silly-ez @asteroskoniiii @keijiqahara @pikibee @tamimemo @kaitfae

#blue lock #blue lock au #sae itoshi #itoshi sae #blue lock imagines #blue lock scenarios #itoshi sae smau #smau #social media au #reader insert #saeitoshi #exes to lovers #fluff #angst #blue lock smau #bllk smau

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religion-is-a-mental-illness · 8 months

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By: Shreya A Cadwell

Published: May 7, 2022

One of the best movie characters I have seen portray PTSD symptoms is Charlie in “The perks of being a wallflower.” Throughout the movie, his silent suffering and disturbing symptoms affect his life quality and relationships. Charlie experiences several flashbacks and relives the trauma repeatedly with a racing heart. Scenes play on in the back of his head with memories that are so painful to remember that he has forgotten large parts of the whole story. He has suffered a series of unfortunate events during his life, something I can relate to, which made me develop PTSD myself. Today, there are many productions that display mental illness, “13 reasons why” is another example, and one of the reasons why mental health is more widely talked about than ever before.

In real life, PTSD is a diagnosis that often comes with great empathy from people around you. Known as a common stress disorder among veterans, it is almost like wearing a badge of honor in today’s society. Let me explain why this can become troublesome for us that live with a mental disorder.

The feeling of constant shame

It is lunchtime, and I am on the subway on my way down to the city core of Stockholm. I have carefully chosen a spot on the train close to the doors where I can see people from every train angle. I listen carefully to every sound around me, and every person that might look or act a little odd has my full attention. I can feel sweat running down my back.

“Does anyone notice how nervous I am?”

At the third station, a woman enters the train. She walks through the sliding doors and sits down with her friend in front of me. She is one of the people on the train that I find odd.

She wears a pair of black sunglasses and a black cap, and she holds her friend’s hand as she rocks her body slowly back and forth, seemingly nervous. It looks like she has a panic attack.

What struck me in this situation is how she acts out her stress in front of everyone and has her friend’s full attention the whole trip. She strokes her hand. They both have that look in their eyes,

“Can you not see that she is suffering?”

I know many people with severe disorders, from having one myself. We have one thing in common: the feeling of shame. Shame for what we have been through, guilt for letting it happen, and shame for letting it happen again.

When you feel this intense amount of shame for what you are, you are not so eager to show it in front of other people, not even in a group meeting with people who deal with the same feelings.

Most of us would not dream of putting ourselves in such a vulnerable situation where so many people publicly got to see our worst moments of fear.

No, we suck it up, avoid and hide.

We become chameleons in a society that praise people who are open with their imagined illnesses.

A mental illness is not a badge of honor. Many self-diagnosed people out there get to represent an illness they do not even suffer. There are many tests and articles online and a generation of social media awareness on mental health problems. That leads many to self-diagnose a severe illness, and we do not just diagnose ourselves but even the people around us. How many life coaches out there put up clip after clip on tackling narcissists?

Can we self-diagnose cancer?

No, and how do we feel about people who fake serious illnesses? We despise them. But you have to pretend many symptoms psychically for cancer and other serious diseases. It is easier to put on a spontaneous show of having an anxiety attack.

Yes, the woman on the train may have a mental illness. I can’t be the judge of that. Her behavior felt staged and didn’t align with how many of my friends act or how I operate. It was a bit too much of everything. We all show emotion and handle difficult situations differently. I respect that some people might act out that way, but I would not consider it the norm. Most of us want to fit in so well with the rest, so we act our way through situations or avoid them.

“Emotional numbing is a way for many to cope with life.”

It took me years to get diagnosed with PTSD and to get help. I felt that the health care system did not take me seriously when I entered the room at the therapist’s office. I managed to talk about what I had gone through in a civil matter. After meeting several therapists, I met the right one, who chose to look at my background and how my body reacts to situations instead of what I decided to show openly.

One of my first therapists wrote in my journal that I was in a very sane state of mind when talking and just needed a little help and support. Therefore I was not in such need of direct assistance. Today, I know it is called emotional numbing, a character trait for someone with PTSD. It is how I have learned to cope with what I have on my brain when adrenaline rushes through my system. That is how many of us who have suffered severe trauma copes with life.

The consequences of self-diagnosis

Although we have a greater awareness of mental health issues, our openness has helped destigmatize them. It has also affected people by attributing it to symptoms of imagined mental illness. A professional medical diagnosis is hard to obtain for a reason.

I believe that one of the consequences of a society where people now self-diagnose severe mental health disorders is that those who suffer for real do not get the help they need. It is more convenient for a therapist to take on patients who need a few meetings, a couple of pills, and then it is over and done. They are paid the same for that type of patient and a patient like me, with a history of multiple fallbacks and repeated trauma patterns.

Most of us who suffer from high functioning mental illness hide it pretty well, and the only ones who get to experience and suffer with us to some degree are often family members and partners. But all around us, our coworkers and friends use the complex word anxiety when they mean that they are stressed. Stress and low moods such as sadness or grief are normal and healthy coping mechanisms that are part of life. Anxiety is a deep-rooted rumination that something will go wrong, all the time and in every situation.

It enhances the feeling of isolation and loneliness you already feel because you are not coping on the same level as your friend who has self-diagnosed. All of a sudden, “everyone” suffers from anxiety. Everywhere you turn and it downplays the suffering you feel yourself.

Another problem with self-diagnosis is that it can prevent you from seeing the real issue, for example, an underlying medical issue.

“You do not have a monopoly on pain.”

Some happenings are part of life, which are such joint suffering for most people. Then there is the sudden or long-lasting trauma of an event that is so specific to you that it’s hard to get other people to understand the suffering and fear you’ve experienced.

To hear that you can be diagnosed with PTSD for going through a divorce or think you can because you experience some complicated emotions. It downplays the suffering of more complex situations where your life has been in great danger. It takes away the real struggle from those who are suffering.

The lines get more blurry for diagnostic requirements for mental illnesses that affect your daily life and it has severe consequences for us. Eventually, that can take us down a very dark path instead of staying put on the road to recovery.

Shreya A Cadwell is a writer with a particular interest in psychology, politics, and sociology. She is diagnosed with PTSD and, therefore, has a burning passion for how mental health reflects our society and how we live.

Self-diagnosis is much like blaming the devil for your failings, or blaming your astrology sign for your bad behavior.

Self-diagnosis is also the exact same thing as "self ID."

#Shreya A Cadwell #mental illness #PTSD #mental health issues #self diagnosis #self diagnosis is not valid #psychology #human psychology #post traumatic stress disorder #religion is a mental illness

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lost-technology · 1 year

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Vash - Asexual Icon?

Okay, controversial hot-take ahoy! This is NOT a anti-shipping post. I freakin’ love shipping. It’s awesome! I used to be big into Vash x Meryl back in my old OG fandom days. However, I read something on here (because this is tumblr, of course) about Vash being a queer icon, as in some notation on how in Trigun Stampede the director was cited as saying that he made Vash kind of like “both the female lead as well as the male lead” - as in, male, but having some traditionally feminine traits, hence why he looks more “bishounen” than he did in other iterations. He has some “ship-fodder” moments with various other members of the cast - commenting on Wolfwood’s “kind eyes” and, of course, my VashMeryl heart soared at a certain scene in Episode 11 - those who’ve seen it know the one. So far, in this version, there’s no clear canonical shipping with Vash. In the other iterations, there was never any canonical shipping with him (the only canon ship is the OG anime having Wolfwood and Milly “eat sandwiches” together). He never “ends up” with anyone. Some fans think that he’s heterosexual (well-argued in the OG anime due to his flirtatious behavior toward some female characters - the old late 1990s trope of “let’s make the hero a bit perverted for humor” that was popular at the time). I’ve met yaoi fans who were convinced that he’s one-hundred percent gay (despite the pervy toward attractive women behavior). Bisexuality can be very well-argued for him, especially in Stampede as noted above, also the “every character in every fandom is bisexual or pansexual in fandom” rule that people seem to have unless a character as a specifically stated sexuality. But has anyone besides me ever thought of Vash as an...asexual? (In this essay I will...) Consider Vash’s general character through the franchise when it comes to romance and / or sex: Stampede incarnation: Has a few moments that can be interpreted as flirty or budding feelings toward both Wolfwood and Meryl, however, nothing clear. His most significant relationship is familial - his grief-filled relationship with his toxic brother. This seems to be what this anime is about. Trigun Maximum incarnation: Never has any clear shipping with anyone, although there are interpretable moments, same as above. I remember that moment of pretending to be unconscious to avoid the attentions of prostitutes and being ashamed of his scars in the manga, same as in the OG anime. Nothing else of note. Classic Trigun Anime: Vash plays the flirt with pretty women. He goes into that common Late ‘90s Flirty Shounen Hero trope for anime heroes of the time. This seems more or less tossed in by the anime writers and director. As the anime becomes more serious, this is generally forgotten in a “Vash has too much on his plate for the romance-stuff” and it’s an action anime, not a romance anime... And the same shame of his scars... the same scene with the sex workers as noted above. (The context for the scene is that a town is celebrating because Vash saved them all and some of the men in the town set up with the local brothel ladies to show Vash a good time as a reward. Vash pretends to have drank too much and passed out, couldn’t be roused - to the disappointment of the brothel workers. He gets up as soon as they leave and wonders “could I be regretting it? Maybe just a little)? The scene is generally interpreted as him not wanting to take advantage of the women in the situation. (Although, honestly they were eager)... Well... it seems to me that Vash might not be as interested in the old bang-bang as some fans would like him to be (and are perfectly within their rights to fanart and fanfic to their hearts’ content). Even the “flirty” Vash of the OG anime seems to be doing it as part of the fake-stupid / silly behavior that he does to throw people off-guard. And where it seems to be genuine behavior, well... I still think asexuality is a valid interpretation because, speaking as an asexual, myself, many of us “do things that we think we are supposed to do” because society tells us that people are supposed to do certain things. Some of us never learned what asexuality even was until fairly late in life and went through various “supposed to” behavior even when we weren’t really feeling it before we discovered ourselves. This is common throughout the queer community - the gay person raised in a community that is hostile who will try to date the opposite sex, someone thinking they are straight until they discover that they really are bi, and etc. This happens to asexuals, too. I had a boy-band member crush when I was 12, just like all “normal girls” did. It took a while for me to figure myself out - that I wasn’t really “normal” and that it was okay. Therefore, I see even the “Let’s make him pervy for comedy” written with clearly heterosexuality in mind of the OG anime as compatable with an asexual interpreation of Vash. He was just doing the “I am a normal human” act! Do keep in mind that I am arguing for “an asexual interpretation for the sake of fanwork / fan-fun” for Vash NOT based on his artificial human nature / his status as a plant, but just, individually, as a person.

#vash the stampede #trigun #trigun maximum #trigun stampede #vash #asexuality #asexual #asexual vash #variable character interpreations #a real asexual having asexual thoughts on fandom

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thatgordongirl · 2 years

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Thoughts on Ghosts Season 4 - Part 1

Mary, Thomas, and Julian

Disclaimer: There will be spoilers! If you haven’t watched season 4 already, @patcaps has it on his google drive on his blog. Also, before I get into it all, I want to say it was an absolute blast waiting with all of you, making content and keeping the show alive. I hope we get to have just as much fun with the podcast and future seasons, this fandom has a lot of heart that a lot of others have lost overtime. I think it’s because it comes from people don’t just love Ghosts, but the actors, their previous shows, the history, and the positivity brought to every second of every episode.

Now, where was I? Oh yes, Ghosts. I think it’ll be best if every character is addressed individually as to go fully in-depth with each development and storyline. But talking about the season itself, I have to say there is something different about it compared to other seasons. I think it’s to set the stage for Alison’s rising tension in her marriage and with the Ghosts, maybe it was preparing for Mary, either way, it’s storyline was a lot tense and melancholic, which you would expect from a show about dead people.

It instilled a fear that I had forgotten purely because I thought they wouldn’t cross that line. They let a ghost pass on. I had considered it likely at some point, but I thought they’d do it together. Suddenly there’s grief and now there’s a worry about who’s next. It immerses you in the show whilst also building up tension and anxiety. If anything, I thought Robin would have passed on before Mary, maybe even Julian if he found closure. The show won’t be the same without her.

Anyways, I don’t want to make this too long.

Mary

She will be missed dearly and I was actually sobbing when she left. I kept waiting for it to be a fake-out, for her to come back and say the basket was only four potatoes high and Alison did it wrong. But she didn’t. She didn’t come back and it affected everyone. Thomas was had a selfless moment for her, Captain nearly cried and comforted Julian. Robin showed his own way of coping for those he’d lost, those he’d probably lose, and how his belief in the stars made it a little better.

They all showed different ways of grieving for Mary. Captain kept moving and working, trying to distract himself. Fanny denied it and forgot momentarily, maybe he’d mind trying to protect herself from it. Kitty cried, Pat tried to make a comfortable lie. Robin deflected, Julian got angry. They are all different and equally fair ways of grieving. The show captured how everyone deals with things differently.

Mary finding her voice and talking about her trial was the closure she needed. She told her story, she loved and she lost and she lived. And she’s gone. And it’s going to be hard, as silly as it may sound, to watch the show the same way. Because I think we’ll grieve a little bit too. But Katy Wix did a terrific job showcasing someone silenced learning to speak up and be her true self in the face of scrutiny.

Thomas

I have to say, I’m impressed by his development throughout this season. It’s not exactly what I expected/hoped, but it’s the build up to more. His moment with Kitty in episode 1 where he tells her she doesn’t have to pretend to like his poetry felt like such a genuine line without him trying to garner sympathy, he really doesn’t want her to pretend. He does it for himself so much already. That being said, I also think it outlines another important relationship of his, with Captain.

Realistically, they shouldn’t get along at all, and they don’t most of the time, but they have similarities I feel they bond over. They both exhibit logical thinking and question Robin’s story, they share similar views on Julian. The Thomas and Pat interactions are very interesting and for a second I swore Pat was treating him like his son. Keeping him in the room and saying he was putting his foot down, Pat acts like a very insistent babysitter who lets you stay up if you’ll kelp him work the microwave.

The best revelation that we kinda already knew but wasn’t addressed was Thomas making everything about himself. He doesn’t know he’s doing it, he’s just spent so much time obsessing over his work he thinks it’s the only way to operate. And when he realises he’s doing it, he doesn’t deny or defend, he immediately rights his wrong. He makes sure it’s about Mary, even cutting off writing a eulogy, the thing he obsesses over, and puts her above himself.

Julian

I just want to say before anything, Julian saying Maggie during a time of vulnerability and telling a rare story is very telling. It’s one of the only stories he’s told that hasn’t involved one of his sexual conquests, even if it’s still not really part of his personal life since it’s still in relation to work. Julian feels more guilty about people than he lets on, we know he feels bad about his daughter, but he loved his wife at some point. At least I hope he did.

Though he doesn’t entirely grasp being virtuous because he wants people to see it and that’s the only reason he does it. Captain did have a point when he said that there is a heart somewhere in Julian. Playing chess with Robin with the big board was hilarious. His way of grieving being anger made so much because of the way he reacts to being insulted. He gets defensive, and yells. Finally, his relationship with Alison is either that drunk uncle who comes around every twenty five years, or more fatherly. When they were scheming together I swear it was a father and a daughter.

#bbc ghosts #mary bbc ghosts #pat butcher #the captain #julian fawcett #thomas thorne #robin bbc ghosts #katy wix #analysis #ghosts season 4 #bbc ghosts spoilers

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ramblingsofafanatic · 11 months

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Hello Q.

Summary: James is back from the dead. Q is not happy. Part of my 00Q soulmate AU but can be read alone.

Word Count: 977

Relationships: Q/James Bond

Warnings: None

Can also be read on AO3 here!

Q is just finishing setting up the table when he notices it. On the back of his hand is writing that he doesn't remember putting there. His heart stutters as he actually registers what it says.

'Hello Q.'

Even though it's only two words (not even, more a word and a letter) the handwriting is so familiar to him it'd be more shocking if he didn't recognize it immediately. But it can't be - James is dead.

He has to be, otherwise Q is gonna kill the agent himself just to make sure he's actually dead this time. James had faked his death before of course - but he's always written a message to Q via their soulmate scribbles.

Q lost count of how many times he wrote on his arm pleading to James to let him know if he was alive. Even just a single pen line. When that didn't work Q started cursing the agent out for not coming home as promised. Then slowly he stopped trying to reach out, accepting that this time James is actually dead.

His anger starts to rise as he reads the message on his hand once more before pointedly walking to the kitchen sink to scrub the message away. After ridding himself of the ink he returns to rearranging everything on the table.

Q will not let James waltz into his life and ruin it all again.

He has a date. He met the guy (Mark) at the cafe around the corner - like Q he lost his soulmate and they connected on that shared ground. After talking they realized they had more in common and really hit it off. He may not be Q's soulmate but it was starting to seem like he may be able to have something just as meaningful.

He focuses on his current task, he manages to push Bond's (alleged) message so far out of his mind that when he opens the door he had almost forgotten that Bond was (allegedly) alive and that he knows where Q lives.

Despite Q's protesting, James pushes right through the doorway as if he never left. Q is rightfully angry - and makes it very clearly known as he follows James through his own house.

"A date?" James asks, as he observes the place settings. Q scoffs.

"As if you didn't see the reminder I wrote on my arm" Q points out, and even though he's not one for violent tendencies, Q finds himself really wanting to slap James' responding smirk off his face.

"Who's the lucky guy?" James asks.

"Why are you here?" Q asks instead of acknowledging the pointless line of questioning. Q never got out of the habit of writing everything on his arms - so he knows for a fact that James already has the answers to these questions. It also dawns on him that this means James has been sitting off somewhere pretending to be dead as he wathed Q very obviously move on and start a new (personal) life without him via the reminders on his arm. This realization causes anger to rise all over again.

Moneypenny seems to sense this and steps in - Q had almost forgotten she was here as well. He does what they ask and they leave - Q deflates a bit and goes back out to the kitchen just to be reminded that he does in fact have a date and, after checking the time, said date should be showing up very soon.

He could call and postpone or even cancel outright. He should call and at least explain the situation he's found himself in and give Mark a choice in whether he still wants to show up.

Q does neither. He sets about finishing up and heads to the door when it rings, relieved when it's actually his date this time and not Bond.

The date goes well, or at least it was until James started writing messages on his hand. Large ones. Ones that he is clearly putting there to fuck over Q's date. It's noticed.

"I thought your soulmate was dead." Mark says.

"So did I," Q admits before explaining the situation, careful not to divulge anything classified.

"Huh." Is the only response Q gets.

"I'm sorry, I should have told you. It's just I promised I wouldn't let him ruin my life again." Q says.

"He wouldn't be your soulmate if he didn't ruin your life at least a little" Mark says with a look that tells Q he's not just talking about Q's situation with Bond.

"I've had a good time tonight, but I don't think this can continue now that you're soulmate is apparently back from the dead. I know you said you don't want anything to do with him, but I also know what I would do if Allie suddenly came back." Mark says and Q deflates a bit but nods as Mark gets up. Q walks him to the door and bids Mark farewell - they'll still talk and see each other at the cafe, but it seems they're bound to just be friends now.

Q goes back to the kitchen and tidies everything up, putting the leftovers in the fridge and the dishes in the sink. He sits down in front of his computer but finds himself with nothing to do now except stare angrily at the cheeky messages scrawled across his hand going up his wrist.

He reached for a pen and scrawls a very neat 'Fuck you, Bond' across his hand. A few seconds later a winky face appears next to it. Q groans and debates getting up to wash the ink off his skin again, but decides against it. Bond will just replace it.

Q realizes that he doesn’t seem to have a choice. James is going to waltz back into his life and ruin everything regardless of what he does.

#00q #writing #soulmate au

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enternecersarc · 2 years

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true or false. you spent most of your life hating him. true. you have been lying to the world about your relationship with him. true. it has all been a lie. false. for the past months, jett has been your fake boyfriend. yet somehow, somewhere and somewhen, lines had been blurred. you can remember kissing him and realizing it tasted too sweet. then you started enjoying his company and spending more time with him than you had to. you let him in. in the midst of the chaos and the lying and the pretending, jett kirton had caught a glimpse at the real you and you had fallen in love with him. but nothing in your life is quite so simple.

he is waiting for an answer. you are so distracted overthinking the lyrics that you have forgotten to say something. shit. ❝ i don’t know, it sounds a bit too desperate. it doesn’t really go well with the rest of the song, you know? it is giving me say something i am giving up on you vibes and i was going more for if you love me let me know vibes, ❞ there is nothing innocent about the songs you have been working on. they are about him, they are always about him. not that @v0ltais knows that. you would rather perish than have him find out he is once again your muse.

cheeks burn bright red at the realization, throat clearing almost immediately. ❝ we’ve been at this for hours, can’t we switch to your song now? i know you’re working on something, i saw the papers on your nightstand. ❞ near his bed. where they had slept together earlier. because that was not at all confusing when you are fake dating. ❝ or we could eat. i am starving. ❞

#* &. 𝗶𝗰 • cassandra baylor.#v0ltais #* &. v0ltais • 𝗷𝗲𝘁𝘁 𝗸𝗶𝗿𝘁𝗼𝗻.#* &. 𝗼𝗼𝗰 • answered meme.

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falling-pages · 3 years

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Bend the Knee: Kyoya x Reader

Thanks @ouranbound for the idea <3

“I fear I’ve been so busy planning our future that I did not give time to notice how they were exploiting your present."

Sometimes Kyoya's betrothed needs help adjusting from their commoner life to one of splendor.

Kyoya Ootori x gn! Reader

Genre: Fluff, established relationship, arranged marriage, Commoner! Reader

Warnings: None

“Quit.”

“What?”

“Quit. You complain about that job every night, so just resign.”

You sit up on the couch, gasping to even begin to make the young heir understand how preposterous his words were. He barely even noticed, just kept his eyes glued to his novel as you were having a crisis. Just another normal Tuesday in this household. “I can’t quit just like that, without two weeks’ notice.”

“The other employees did.”

“But I’m their best,” you scramble, “I can’t bail while they’re still looking for two more people.”

Kyoya scoffed, licking his fingertip and turning a page. “Is that how they treat their best? Overworked and underpaid? They don’t sound like very good bosses to me.”

“It’s not that, it’s…”

It was that. It was exactly that, which made his smug smile all the more frustrating, igniting that fire under your nails to just punch his lights out. But then you’d have to admit it’s bothering you, and he would win, and even though you were engaged to marry this man, you just couldn’t have that.

You ran your hands through your hair, dropping back down onto the couch. His office futon wasn’t comfortable in the slightest, perhaps to discourage relaxation during work hours, but it’s what you dealt with in order to spend time with him in the evenings, a change you would certainly implement once your name was on the deed and in the will--a revamp of his working space was imperative.

But you supposed you couldn’t complain. It was your little life together, where he manages a multi-billion dollar empire and you whine about your job, where he pretends to not pay attention while you spill your guts. What was the sense in commenting when he knew you wouldn’t take his advice?

“I’ve worked hard for this position,” you settle on, closing your eyes and letting your brain do the work. “I’ve climbed the ladder and gotten promotions and I used to feel so important, and it isn’t my dream job, sure, but I’ve enjoyed the process.”

“Then it’s time to move on to something different,” he suggests, and his tone is softer than usual, though still careful to sound detached. “You know I have more than enough money to provide for you and our family someday. Is that not enough?”

You open your eyes when the voice sounds closer, right above you, and you see him kneeling down beside you on the couch. You start to sit up, but he pushes you back down, helping you stretch out your spine, shake out the stresses in your limbs. And when he takes your hand, drawing his long fingers over the arch of your wrist and against your palm, you were startled to see him at eye-level.

Kyoya Ootori bent his knee to no one except you, and only once, when he slipped that pretty gold ring on your finger. But here where you lay, your faces were on the same level, and you felt like an equal.

“The world I come from isn’t black and white, Kyoya,” you say, as he strokes the back of your knuckles. Such tenderness was seldom seen from him, but you revel in it, grasp onto it with dirty fists and brazen recklessness. To have him so attentive to your needs and listening to you was rare. It was a privilege, a standard you would soon be held to, as well. “To be just...launched into fame because my dad won the lottery is hard, I still need to adjust. It can all be gone in a second, so I can’t just drop something. I can’t...sever the safety net. They need me to keep the place afloat, and even as tough as it has been, I can’t leave on such bad terms. They need me. Just for a little bit longer.”

He sighs your name like the afterthought of a prayer, settling his other hand beside you on the couch. His fingers dig into every indentation, as if joining your discovery of its stiff cushions. The sheen in his glasses signaled he’d look into it, but there were more pressing matters to attend to at the moment.

He remained silent, odd for a man with all the answers, but he continued to look at you, not like he was trying to drill a hole through your head, but like you were a puzzle he was just beginning to figure out.

“Have I really been so absent, my love?” he whispered, raising his hand to your face. One finger stroked along your cheek, slowly, lulling you into peace. “I fear I’ve been so busy planning our future that I did not give time to notice how they were exploiting your present. Please, forgive me.”

All of the air was knocked out of your chest as his gentle words, so soft that you almost didn’t recognize him. When your parents betrothed you, and when you fell in love with him, agreed to marry him, even, you knew that he would always be an Ootori, with every string attached. You were ready for the challenge, ready to be with this man no matter what--but his sudden kindness was unexpected, the poetic words unfamiliar in your ears.

“Kyo, you think I wouldn’t forgive you?” you ask, taking off his glasses.

He let you, and when you set them on the nearby stand, his dark eyes glittered with something you had never seen before. Deeper than love, deeper than compassion, a feral protectiveness mixed with sadness skating across his face. It was so rare you saw him without this shield of his, you had almost forgotten how his eyes were like galaxies, like the murky night sky, expansive, swallowing everything in its path.

“If I had been suffering so, I wouldn’t forgive my partner had they not noticed,” he said.

“I’m not suffering...”

“Mmm-mm.” He shuttered your lips closed with his finger, and you couldn’t help but return the affection and press a kiss to it. He smiled, softly, and you thought about how long it had been since you had seen that smile, and how long it had been since he’s seen yours, too.

“I know I’m not the best at expressing my feelings,” he said, and when you snorted, he rolled his eyes and leaned away. “See, this is exactly why.”

You leaned up and kissed his cheek, giggling. The feeling was foreign in the pit of your chest, drumming near your spine. “I’m sorry. Please, continue.”

“Thank you.” He cleared his throat, softly wiping where you had kissed him, a repetitive, soothing motion. “I’m not the best at expressing my feelings. I’ve been raised to think that if you throw money at something, it will go away. It’s a powerful position to hold, knowing you can change everyone’s fates on a whim, but…” he swallowed, breaking eye contact, and you felt his energy shift into something vulnerable. “But you changed that. You make me feel...you make me feel. And at first I didn’t like it. I loved you, but I didn’t like what you did to me. I didn’t like how you made my world shift off-balance, until I realized my world was no longer my family’s company or stocks or what other stiffs thought of me. It was you.”

You tried to lean up and kiss him, but he grabbed your hands and held them in his own. “Please, let me finish, I want...I want you to know. We’ve been betrothed for so long, but I’d like to think we were only truly engaged when I bowed to you with that ring.”

“Okay,” you breathed, shallowly, taking it in, squeezing his hands to help him along.

“Because that took everything in me,” he continued, and his voice shook, his hands shook, and all you wanted was to gather him in your arms and hold him till he relaxed. “I was raised as a superior, but I’m not. Not with you. You are my equal, and I love you, and there’s no future with us if I can’t look beyond my own problems to see yours.”

Your stomach quelled in light of his confession. The life of luxury and fame you had so recently come to know was a blur compared to his childhood swathed in privilege. Only six years ago you were waiting tables to save up for college when your dad bought a lottery ticket for the hell of it. Now you were attending charity balls and engaged to the son of the richest man on earth.

He took a shaky breath and kissed your forehead, seeming to only find the courage once his lips met your skin.

“I notice. I swear I do,” he said. “I tried to act disinterested when you vent to me because it was a protection, it was a way to stay cold, because that was all I ever saw from my mother and father. They were separate people who happened to live in the same house. That’s not us. I’m not my father. I swear I notice. I notice your tired eyes and your tense shoulders and your fake smile and I want to fix it, but I don’t know how, so I clam up. I shut down. And I’m sorry. I truly am, my darling. I don’t know how you put up with me.”

It was an absolute miracle that you could even breathe at the end of his speech, panting almost as heavily as he was. And when you leaned forward to kiss him, this time he didn’t object, but pulled you even closer, shrouding your body with his, his sharp scent overwhelming your senses, clouding the air around you, even when there was no distance between you. His mouth was hot with passion, yet reserved, and though it wasn’t the first time you kissed, it was the first time you thought he meant it when he told you he loved you.

“Kyoya, I love you,” you whisper against his lips. “I have for so long. I wouldn’t have stayed with you if I didn’t, no matter what our parents said.” He laughed, nipping your bottom lip lightly. “And I don’t want you to change for me. You’re under so much pressure, I understand why you act like you do. But our home isn’t Wall Street. My heart isn’t some business bargaining chip. You don’t need to fight your nature to love me. It’s one and the same.” One of his tears splashes down onto your face. “So just see me. Love me. Choose to be vulnerable. I promise it won’t scare me off.”

“I will. I promise.”

He kissed you again, burning his brand against your tongue, hard like a handshake to know he meant it. You wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him even closer, like you were breathing the same air, using the same lungs, the same heart beating in tandem.

When you let go, his forehead remained pressed against yours. His eyes were slightly open, watching you, eyelashes fluttering against your skin. He was so soft, like this. You wanted to hold him forever.

“Come to bed with me,” you whisper, trailing a hand through his hair. “I just want to spend time with you.”

He kissed your forehead, rubbing his nose against yours in compliance. “I’ll spend all the time in the world with you, beloved,” he sighed, capturing your lips once more. “For as long as you’ll have me.”

Kofi

#ouran high school host club #kyoya ootori #kyoya x reader #kyoya ootori x reader #ohshc

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lindsey-laufeyson · 2 years

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Texts from Tom Hiddleston

Masterlist

21. Fake Date

Warnings: a hint of dom!Tom x bratty!sub!reader at one point, if you squint.

Weeks went by and you almost forgot about all the drama. You and Tom were simply enjoying being together, spending almost every night together, not only fucking each other’s brains out, but having lengthy conversations about anything and everything as well. You couldn’t get enough of each other.

“You two are absolutely disgusting,” Chelsea told you after reading your texts.

“You say that every time,” you replied. “And yet, you continue to insist on reading my messages.”

“What can I say? I have no life. You know this.”

“Well, instead of making rude comments, can you just be happy for me?”

“I am happy for you, but that doesn’t change the fact that your cutesy, couple-y-ness makes me want to vomit.”

“Then I reiterate: stop reading my texts!” Just then, Emma walked into your classroom with Annalise. “Good morning,” you greeted them warmly, as you took your phone from Chelsea and put it away. “How are we this morning?”

“Oh, lovely, thank you!” Emma said as she helped her daughter put her things in her cubby. When Anna went to join the other children at breakfast, Emma turned to you. “So I have a bit of a weird question for you,” she said in a slightly lower voice, as if about to dish some gossip. You immediately got nervous, but tried to hide it as best you could.

“Should I be scared?” you asked as if it was a joke. You were thankful in that moment that since Annalise enrolled at the school, you and Emma had developed a very friendly and comfortable parent-teacher relationship.

Emma laughed. “Not at all! I just overheard you talking to Chelsea the other day about how you’re, I believe you said, ‘hopelessly single…’” she started. You thought back to that day, when you and Chelsea had intentionally had this entirely made-up conversation in order to hopefully stamp out any suspicions Emma might have had about you and her brother. “… and I realized that I just recently reconnected with an old schoolmate of mine who I think would be perfect for you! Would it be weird if I set you two up on a date?”

You felt your face heat up and you froze. While you were relieved that your tactics to throw Emma off had apparently worked, you were certainly not expecting her to take it upon herself to play matchmaker for you. “Um, well…” you stammered, trying to think of a good excuse to say no.

“She’d love that!” Chelsea yelled from the breakfast table. You turned around and shot her a look that said, what the fuck do you think you’re doing?

“Brilliant! His name is Steve and I think you’ll like him a lot,” she said enthusiastically. “We can work out the details when I pick Anna up tonight! See you later!” Then she blew her daughter a kiss and left. You walked over to Chelsea.

“What was that??” you hissed in her ear.

“You were kind of choking, so I answered for you,” she replied, matter of factly.

“I can’t go on a date with some random guy! Or have you already forgotten that I’m not actually single?”

“But going on this date will reassure her that there is nothing going on between you and T-O-M,” she spelled his name so Anna wouldn’t recognize it. You realized she had a point. If you went on this date, you could stop worrying about Emma finding out about your relationship with Tom. Now you just had to convince your boyfriend…

—————————————————————

Saturday came a little too quickly for your liking. You were so nervous for this fake date— having to pretend to be single and open to the possibility of entering a relationship with this Steve person, only to gently tell him you weren’t interested at the end of the night.

You arrived at the restaurant and the waiter led you to where Steve was sitting. He stood up when he saw you approaching the table, and shook your hand. “Hi, I’m Steve. You must be y/n,” he said smiling. You had to admit that he was classically attractive by most people’s standards, and a few months ago you might have been intrigued, but now you were head over heels for Tom, and this man did not even compare to him.

“Hi, it’s so nice to meet you,” you replied as you both sat down at the table. You proceeded to go through the basic pleasantries and small talk of a typical first date, while you decided what to order for dinner. After the waiter took your order, your phone buzzed.

You looked up at Steve who was sipping his drink and staring off into the distance awkwardly. You felt a pang of guilt. “Sorry, my, uh, sister is having a rough go at it right now and I’m trying to calm her down,” you lied.

“Oh that’s okay. Do you need to call her?” he asked you. You thought it was sweet.

“No, it’s alright. I just might need to respond to her texts occasionally. I’m sorry, I hate to be rude,” you told him with a genuinely apologetic smile.

He waved away your concern. “Don’t worry about it. I get it. Family first, right?”

“Right,” you agreed quietly, as you typed out your response to Tom.

You put your phone face down on the table and turned your attention back to Steve as you sipped your wine. He was in the middle of telling you about his job when your phone buzzed again. You decided to glance at your phone while you took another sip. When you opened your message from Tom, you choked on your wine, almost spitting it out. There on your phone screen was a picture of Tom’s dick. You quickly locked your phone and put it away in your purse. What had gotten into him? He had never sent you a dick pic before, and he had chosen now, when you were in public with someone you were supposed to be pretending you were on a date with, to do so?

“Everything alright?” Steve asked you, looking legitimately concerned.

“Oh, yes,” you said, still coughing. “Wine just went down the wrong tube.” You tried to laugh it off, even though you knew you were blushing heavily. “Sorry! You were saying?” You made it a point this time to appear fully invested in what he had to say. Your phone could wait. Tom could wait.

Throughout dinner you learned that once Steve got going, he could talk a lot— quite a lot actually— and by the time he asked for the check, it was just past 9. He had been talking for 3 hours, and all you could think about was the picture on your phone.

“I’ll pay for mine separately,” you said to the waiter politely.

“Don’t worry, I’ve got it,” he told you.

“Please, I insist,” you replied. You felt bad enough that you had wasted this man’s night. You would not take his money as well.

“I hope this is not an indication of how the night has gone,” he said, chuckling slightly. The waiter walked away awkwardly.

“It’s not! I've had a lovely time.” You smiled warmly at him before looking down at the ground and shifting in your seat. “That being said,” you added uncomfortably. “I just don’t think I’m interested in that way.”

“I had a suspicion,” he said. “You seemed a bit distracted.” Dammit, Tom.

“I’m so sorry,” you apologized as you gave the waiter your card to pay and he did the same.

“Don’t worry about it. At least we can tell Emma we gave it a go, right?”

“Haha, right,” you responded sheepishly. Once the bills were taken care of, you and Steve said your goodbyes and parted ways.

On your drive home, you couldn’t help but anxiously wonder what exactly Steve would report back to Emma. Did he truly believe it had been your sister texting you, or could he tell when you almost spat your wine out in front of him that you had clearly just seen a cock on your phone? If it was the latter, and he relayed that to Emma, she would surely have questions, and you didn’t want to make this façade any more complicated than it already was. When you got home you finally looked at your phone again.

You had 3 missed calls from him as well. Shit. You walked into your house and were greeted by not only your dogs, but Bobby as well. Tom must have used your spare key, which you had told him he was welcome to do any time. You knelt down to greet the pups and soon your boyfriend appeared in the hall.

“Fuck, there you are,” Tom said with an exasperated sigh.

“Baby, I’m fine,” you tried to reassure him as you stood back up. “He just talked a lot.”

“And how was I supposed to know that? You didn’t answer any of my texts or calls,” he said, throwing his hands up in frustration.

“I didn’t see them until just now,” you explained as you began to become frustrated as well. “After your risqué little photo shoot, I decided it was best to put my phone away. What has gotten into you by the way? You know I was in a public place!”

He clenched his jaw and swallowed hard. “What has gotten into me? You went out with another man just to prove to my sister that you and I are not together? Do you not see how fucked up that is?” His voice was starting to rise.

“You said you were okay with it,” you countered.

“You are incredibly naive if you think I was ever actually okay with this,” he hissed, as he turned away from you and started toward the living room.

“Then why didn’t you say anything?” you asked him, your voice breaking. You stepped toward him and grabbed his arm, but he whirled around to look at you again, batting your hand away in the process.

“What would you have liked me to say? Because I am fairly certain you would have done what you wanted anyway.” He was towering over you as he said this, his voice deep and loud.

“Excuse me?” you yelled as you pushed him away. Your heart was racing, your blood boiling. You saw his eyes darken and he quickly grabbed you by the waist and pinned you against the wall.

“You heard me,” he growled. He brought his face dangerously close to yours. “Now apologize for pushing me, and for this ridiculous fucking fake date while your at it.” As angry as you were at that moment, you could also feel heat flooding to your core. You decided to test it.

“Fuck you,” you said through gritted teeth and pushed him again. He responded by grabbing your wrists and pinning them above your head.

"Wrong move, darling,” he snarled. He leaned in close to you again, tightening his grip on your wrists with one hand and bringing his other hand to the waistband of your leggings. He then brought his lips to your ear. “Say the word, and I’ll stop,” he whispered. He was referring to your safe word, of course, but the last thing you wanted was for him to stop.

“Fucking try me,” you whispered back. He growled deeply as he kissed you roughly, and shoved his hand down the front of your leggings and into your now soaked panties. He ran his middle finger through your wet folds until his finger was on your clit, stroking it ever so slightly, just enough to tease you. You tugged against his grip, but even with one hand he was so strong, so you bit his bottom lip and bucked your hips. Suddenly, he released your wrists and pulled his hand out of your pants so he could swiftly rip your shirt off, and you did the same with his. He then turned you around to face the wall and pressed his whole body against yours. He began kissing your neck feverishly, and you could feel his erection against your ass. You let out a moan and he dropped to his knees behind you in order to remove your leggings and panties. As soon as you were naked, save your black, lacy bra, you felt him bite down on your ass cheek, causing you to cry out in pain mixed with pleasure. Then he smacked the other cheek and your cry turned into a moan. When you no longer felt his touch, you looked behind you to see him taking off his pants and boxers. When you saw his rock-hard cock spring free, you felt yourself grow even wetter. You parted your legs and braced yourself against the wall as he pressed himself up against you once again, and slid the tip of his cock up and down your slick folds. His free hand then went to your hair, grabbing a fistful and pulling your head to the side so he could kiss your neck again. He started sucking and biting while he continued to tease your pussy with his throbbing erection.

“Careful not to leave any marks,” you managed to utter between moans.

“Too fucking bad,” Tom growled. “You’re mine.” He began to suck and bite harder, and rather than protest, you simply moaned louder. Then, out of nowhere, he thrusted inside you, fast and hard, one hand gripping your hip and the other still pulling your hair. He groaned loudly in your ear as he stretched you out, and then quickly started pounding into you, harder than he ever had before. The heightened emotions coursing through you both, combined with the pain of him tugging at your hair, and the pleasure of his huge cock impaling you from behind at a rapid speed created an incredibly intense experience.

“Fuck, baby, I’m gonna cum,” he groaned. “Rub your clit, now.” You did as he said, loving this dominant side of him. Soon you both came, loud and long, until you were both entirely spent. Afterward, he leaned against your back, kissed your shoulder softly, and lightly ran his hands up and down your waist and hips.

“Holy shit, that was incredible,” you said, panting heavily. He merely chuckled as he continued peppering your shoulder with kisses. You reached back and stroked the nape of his neck.

”I wasn’t too rough with you, was I?” His voice was gruff, which you guessed was from the all the yelling and the sex. You smiled at the sound.

“Not at all. Though, we should probably go to bed before my legs give out,” you told him, playfully.

“Lead the way, princess,” he said as you took his hand and walked to the bedroom. When you got there, you reached behind you to take off your one surviving article of clothing, your bra, but you felt Tom's hands gently move yours away so he could help you. He then got into bed and beckoned for you to join him, so you crawled in beside him and rested your head on his chest. As you stroked his chest hair, he ran his fingertips up and down your upper arm.

“I’m sorry I worried you,” you said quietly.

“You’re here now, and that’s what matters,” he replied, kissing the top of your head. “I’m sorry I got a little possessive and jealous.”

You lifted your head to look at him. “A little?” you questioned him with a raised eyebrow. You reached for your phone on the bedside table and pulled up the last image he sent you. “Exhibit A…” You flashed him your phone screen. “And Exhibit B.” You pointed to the marks and bruises on your neck and shoulder.

Tom tried his hardest to suppress his smile. “Am I to believe you didn’t enjoy exhibits A or B?”

“That is not the point I’m trying to make, you cheeky bastard,” you playfully scolded him as you both started to laugh. He wrapped his arms tightly around you and kissed you deeply.

When your kiss broke, he looked into your eyes and rubbed his nose against yours. “I’m sorry,” he said again, softly.

You gently stroked the side of his face. “I’m sorry too. No more fake dates. I promise.”

“Good,” he said simply. “Because I don’t think my heart could take it.” You practically melted in his arms as he said this, and kissed him again, long and slow, before settling your head back down on his chest and falling asleep.

TFTH tag list: @darkacademicfrom2021 @lokiprompts @blackwidownat2814 @immersed-in-mischief @anonymousfiction211 @theaudacitytowrite @naniky @stars-and-moondust7 @d1a2n389 @maevetriesart @ice-queen-of-music @donttouchmylaevateinn @likeitloveitblogit @high-functioning-lokipath @tiredmamamac @owldwagitoutofyou @vampire7595 @1marvelnerd3000 @fromasgardandback @pescadoavocado @nadderlover1 @asgardianprincess1050 @apine7 @elenaysusneuras @sleepdeprevedswede

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captains-simp · 3 years

Text

Wanda Maximoff ~ Fake It Till You Make It

Wanda version of this fic as requested by @yeetus-thyself

7.7k words

Warnings: shitty family and homophobia

[ masterlist ]

Buy me a coffee ☕

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

"Pleeaasse, Wan" You pouted once again. You had been begging Wanda for the favour for an hour now; her stubborness was proving hard to overcome.

"I'm busy." Wanda said, her accent strong as she walked around her appartment to collect things for her next mission.

"But will you be busy on the 10th?" You asked from the couch where you watched her disappear into various rooms as she talked.

"I thought you said it was a few days." Wanda quipped, seemingly only giving you half her attention.

"It is." You confirmed with some hope.

"So I'd need to clear my schedule for more than just the 10th." You huffed and rested your head on the back of couch.

"Yes you would. I'm sure Natasha can manage without you for a few days."

"I wouldn't be too sure about that." She muttered.

"Please, Wan." You tried. "I need a win." Wanda stopped by the kitchen counter and gave you a long, considering look. You had long given up on your puppy dog eyes and instead copied her expression as you chewed on your bottom lip.

"I'll think about it." Wanda finally said before grabbing something from the cupboard. It was the best response you had gotten all night and you knew you wouldn't get anything more. So you accepted it and hoped for the best.

Your parents had invited you to their cabin for a few days just like they did every year. It was a beautiful place. You could spend your whole visit in the forest along the back. Or swimming in the clear lake that was a short walk away. The cabin itself was the cosiest place you had ever been and had been where some of your best memories had happened as a kid.

As you got older things changed. Being around your family, especially your parents, wasn't as enjoyable. They had high expectations for their children, expectations that your siblings had met without a problem but ones that you had struggled with. You enjoyed your life. You had the kind of relationships you had always hoped for, you loved your job and you had the perfect balance of the two. But you could never shake the feeling that you had failed.

Your brother was a surgeon who always told you all stories of the lives he saved and the close calls he had swooped in to save people from. One of your sisters was some hot shot lawyer who had done great things like help people wrongly convicted but still put dangerous people back on the street. And your other sister was the CEO of an energy company that you never quite understood. They even all had equally successful partners who loved to talk about themselves as much as your siblings did. You didn't have any of that. But you did have Wanda.

Knowing the Avengers was the only thing about you your family took interest in. They were always subtly hinting at wanting to meet your friends. But you knew the Avengers had to endure enough fan service and didn't want to push your family onto them, especially with how annoying they all were.

However as your family's unrealistic expectations reached their all time high you were sure you wouldn't be able to handle another trip with them without a win, and you were far too petty to take the moral high ground and just not go. Not to mention that was a huge part of you that was dying to see what the Wanda girlfriend experience would entail. Yep, that was what you were asking of Wanda. To pretend to be your partner for the duration of the trip.

You knew it wasn't a smart choice. That if Wanda agreed your crush on her could get out of hand. You knew you would end up getting too caught up in the act. You could have, no - should have - asked Natasha or Yelena or even Carol if she was around. But your family knew you were the closest with Wanda and she would be the one it felt the most natural with, and the most believable. At least, that was what you told Wanda.

"When are you going?" You asked, changing the subject in hopes that Wanda wouldn't suddenly conclude she didn't want to do it (then you really would have to ask one of the others).

"Tomorrow." She answered, keeping her focused tone.

"When will you be back?" You attempted to keep the concern out of your voice but the glance the redhead gave you told you you hadn't done a good job.

"The day after." She said, softer this time. You nodded as you looked down at your lap and tried not to think about everything that could possibly go wrong on her mission.

"Be safe." Wanda strolled over to you and placed her hand gently ontop of yours and gave it a quick squeeze.

"Always."

"Got any plans Saturday night?" Natasha smirked knowingly at her friend as they preped for their mission.

"No." Wanda replied as she adjusted her earpiece.

"Nothing with y/n then?" Nat asked, partly genuinely but mostly knowing Wanda would still say no.

"Nope." She said again, biting the inside of her cheek in consideration before speaking again. "Not this Saturday."

Natasha raised an eyebrow in surprise and interest. Wanda rarely made any kind of special plans with you as you would always hang out casual and it was never anything fancy or different. She had always wanted to though.

"Plans for another time?" Nat continued as she double checked her pack.

"Maybe, I'm still thinking about it." The redhead turned fully to her friend at her words, confused at why Wanda was hesitant to spend time with you. "She wants me to go to the cabin with her and her family." Nat had heard all about the infamous cabin and your family.

"That sounds fun." Nat nodded. The cabin sounded fun. Your family did not.

"As her girlfriend." Nat's eyes widened excitedly but before she could speak Wanda clarified. "Her pretend girlfriend."

Nat paused and looked as though she was going to speak for several seconds until she stuck to just giving a confused look.

"Yeah." Wanda sighed. "Thinks it would seem impressive." Wanda had tried not to be hurt over that. She knew you weren't just friends with her to show her off to people, because you never did. But it hurt her to think the only time you could see her in a romantic way was when you were pretending.

"Well," Nat muttered as she adjusted the zip along the front of her catsuit. "Fake it till you make it." It was Wanda's turn to give Nat a questioning look. "Maybe it'll be an eye opener for her."

"You think I should do it?" She asked, fully open to hearing and accepting her friend and mentor's advice in that area.

"Definelty." Nat confirmed. She wasn't sure about it for the reasons she said though. Wanda's crush on you was obvious to everyone except you, just as it was vice versa.

You had been overjoyed when Wanda told you she would come with you to the cabin and play along as your girlfriend. She had told you when she came back from her mission, in fact it was the first thing she said after she had let herself into your appartment. It was never really brought up after that, but you couldn't deny you were incredibly anxious on the week leading up to the visit.

On the drive up to the cabin you and Wanda stayed in a comfortable silence most of the time, clearly both lost in thought. You had the radio on for background noise more than anything else, but you would occasionally lightly tap the steering wheel if there was a tune you recognised, oblivious to Wanda's acknowledging smiles.

"So what's the plan?" Wanda asked as she looked at you expectantly. Right, of course the Avenger wanted a strategy.

"Keep things simple, I guess. They know how we met already so we can just say at some point we took things a step further than friendship." Wanda didn't seem convinced at the simplicity of that. "Look they're not going to want to hear about us, not much at least. They prefer the sound of their own voices, they'll be trying to impress you is all."

"Impress me?" Wanda asked.

"Yeah, hope you warm up to them so one day they can invite you to their snobby parties." Wanda chuckled her heart warming laugh as she glanced out of the window, knowing there was a lot of truth to what you said.

"And what are those like?" She enquired curiously.

"I wouldn't know, I've never been invited." You said simply. You had gotten over that a long time ago, gotten used to being forgotten. Wanda clearly hadn't though.

"It will be an honour to turn them down." Wanda said. You shook your head and smiled at her. That did sound pretty nice.

When the cabin came into sight between the trees your nerves spiked. You figited in your seat and bit your lip when you saw some of your family gathered outside, their attention instantly on you. You shot Wanda a quick smile which she returned before you got out of the car.

"Y/n! So nice of you to come." You mum said as her eyes flickered to Wanda more than you. She opened her arms for the shortiest hug in human history before turning to Wanda. "You must be Wanda, we've heard so much." You mum insisted as she brought the redhead in for a hug too. She raised her eyebrows at you over your mum's shoulder and you bite back a laugh.

The others came over to greet you and mainly Wanda in a rush, overwhelming both of you.

"You two will be in the upstairs bedroom on the left." Your mum told you as you went to grab your bags. You did a double take, convinced you had heard her wrong. That was the best room in the house. A big difference from being in the small room in the basement every other time you had been there.

"First one on the left." Your dad confirmed. There was no way your parents were going to be in the basement so you wondered who else had been moved around but didn't ask, knowing whoever it was wasn't going to be happy.

You and Wanda made your way up to the room and you couldn't help but smile at the sight of the spacious room and the door you knew led to your en suite.

"That was...a lot." Wanda summarised as she said her bag under the bed.

"I would tell you it gets better but I don't want to get your hopes up." You sighed as you got a couple of things out.

"It's just a few days." Wanda said despite the fact you should have been assuring her.

"Yeah." You nodded and stared down at the floor. "Now c'mon." You suddenly said as you took ahold of Wanda's hand and laced your fingers together. You missed the startled blush that crept onto her cheeks when you turned around.

Your family were sat outside whispering amongst themselves when you returned. Their interested gaze fell to your entwined hands in an instant.

"So you work with the Avengers?" Your brother, Dalton, said as soon as you both sat down.

"I do, I'm one myself." Wanda said as she continued to hold onto your hand.

"Must be crazy, what are they like?" He enquired.

"They're good." Wanda said simply. Everyone clearly expected something more but Wanda pretended not to notice making you smile.

"I almost did business with Stark once, decided against it in the end." Claire announced proudly. You and Wanda exchanged knowing glances. Stark had told you all about his encounter with your sister, it definetly wasn't her turning him down.

"I was invited to one of his parties." Anna said quickly. "I was busy that night unfortunately."

Bull. Shit.

"Yes I remember working with Doctor Strange when he was still in the medical profession." You gave Wanda an I-told-you-so look as your family erupted into conversation over who had the most contact with the heroes. That had to be a new record of how quickly they started talking about themselves.

They continued like that until your mum called everyone in for dinner. The food smelt undeniably amazing as you took your place at the table next to Wanda and eyed the dishes infront of you. Your parents efforts to impress the redhead weren't all that bad.

Your family continued to catch up and and you and Wanda half listened as you ate. They were all doing as well for themselves as ever and still hadn't learnt any modesty.

Although you were proud of your siblings for what they had all achieved, Wanda had contained four potentially devastating bombs from going off in the space of half an hour a week before but she wasn't going to bring that up anytime soon. Eventually though, the attention turned to you to bring you out of your silence.

"And you're still working in that little café, y/n?" Your mum asked curiously.

"I own it, mum." You corrected quietly as you stabbed some pieces on your plate.

"Ah yes, quite the contrast though, isn't it. Between you two." She said as she pointed at you and Wanda with her fork. You didn't say anything to that because you felt there really wasn't anything to say in response. It wasn't like you hadn't thought that exact thing every now and then.

"The team loves it." Wanda said suddenly making everyone, including you, look at her in slight surprise from speaking up. It hadn't taken your family long to learn Wabda wasn't much of a talker, not to them anyway. You couldn't get her to shut up half the time. "At least one of us goes everyday. If we're lucky we all can. Nothing beats it." She defended simply before turning back to her food to show she wasn't going to say anymore. You smiled down at your plate at her words and the truth of them.

No one said anything in response, clearly shocked from this new information until Dalton spoke up.

"But doesn't Stark like fancy, top of the line, restaurants? I can't imagine him in some random coffee shop, no offence sis." He nodded towards you though you knew he didn't mean it. He couldn't let you have just one win.

"That random coffee shop has catered some of Stark's parties. Not that many though." A smug smile crept onto Dalton's face as he opened his mouth to make a snarky remark but Wanda cut him down again. "Because y/n's invited to the rest as a guest and a close friend." Your family stared at you with open mouths.

"You've been invited to Stark's parties?!" Anna exclaimed. In your defence, your family never wanted to hear about your life so you never got the chance to tell them anything.

"It's not really my crowd." You shrugged. "I just go to hang out with them after." Dalton's jaw clenched in annoyance and he didn't say anything for the rest of dinner. It was only really your mum who kept talking. Telling everyone about her latest travels that fell on death ears.

It was certainly a first for your family.

When everyone had finished their food you and Wanda excused yourselves and said goodnight before retiring to your room. Wanda shut the door gently as you collapsed onto the bed on your back and glared at the ceiling. The redhead shuffled around quietly to get her toothbrush and toothpaste and some other things you weren't really paying attention to and went into the bathroom.

When she came back out she was in her bedclothes and lifted your feet off the floor to turn you so you could fully lay on the bed. You smiled at her weakly.

"You should go get changed." Wanda said as she got her laptop out her bag. "Then you can pick a movie." She announced when she had gotten under the covers and started her laptop. You smiled more and nodded.

You tried not to think about your family and everything they had said at dinner as you got changed but it proved difficult. Everything they had said echoed around in your head but most of all you couldn't shake the disregarding ways they said it. It was as though you could do no right with them. Maybe they would never be proud no matter what you did.

You placed your toothbrush back I'm the holder and rinsed your mouth before heading back into the bedroom to an awaiting Wanda.

You got under the covers next to her and rested your head on her shoulder as you glanced at the Netflix screen and pointed to one of the comedy movies.

About ten minutes into the movie Wanda spoke. "You okay?" She whispered as she continued to look at the screen although that wasn't where her focus was.

"Yeah." You whispered back.

"You can talk to me." She said after a second." You moved your head away so you could see Wanda clearly.

"I'm so glad you're here." You said honestly. She smiled and nodded as her eyes searched yours.

"I'm glad I'm here too." You knew Wanda wasn't glad she had to spend the time with your family. She was glad that she could support you despite their efforts to bring you down. You were incredibly lucky to have her.

You rested your head back on her shoulder and neither of you spoke for the rest of the movie. Or the rest of the night. You must have fallen asleep about half an hour in.

Wanda was one of the most intimate people you had ever met. It was mainly something she aimed towards you and Natasha but didn't refrain from comforting others and giving hugs to anyone who would take one. She never held back at all with you, as far as you knew. But when you woke up and couldn't tell where your limbs started and Wanda's ended, you were still surprised to find yourselves like that. Butterflies flew around in your stomach in a way you knew was dangerous but couldn't help but love.

You were resting your head on her rising chest and had your arm slung across her stomach. Your legs were tangled together and her arms were holding onto your waist. A warmth spread through you and you decided to settle back into her hold and closed your eyes with a content smile.

You had about ten minutes to enjoy that before Wanda woke up. You could feel the moment she realized you were so close, she physically froze. You waited in anticipation for something for several moments until your friend very slowly unhooked her legs and guided your body to lay against the mattress and pillows as she slipped out of bed towards the bathroom.

You sighed when you heard the door close and rubbed your eyes slowly, knowing you should get up but wishing more than anything that you could return to how you woke up.

"Morning." Wanda croaked when she left the bathroom and saw you sitting up in bed.

"Morning." You said back with a smile and tried not to focus on how ridiculously attractive her voice sounded.

You gathered some random clothes into a bundle and went into the bathroom to change again and brush your teeth. When you came out Wanda was pulling her shirt over her head and gave you a generous view of her toned stomach. That training with Natasha really was paying off. Your face heated up when you saw it and you turned away to pretend you hadn't seen when Wanda noticed you.

"Don't make a sound." Wanda warned. You glanced up at her with some confusion. "I don't think your family's awake yet, that means we get the kitchen to ourselves." She grinned and you did too.

You and Wanda had gotten so used to getting up early for your jobs you forgot other people would still be sleeping. It was hard to break out of the habit but it proved useful.

The pair of you made a quick breakfast and ate it outside thanks to the warm weather even at that time. But soon enough your parents came downstairs and ruined the peaceful atmosphere with the clanging of pots and loud convosations.

You wandered around the side of the house and saw the old table tennis table that bad been folded away years ago and hadn't been set up since. You went over and started setting it up when Wanda joined you and eyed the table with a glimmer of mischief.

The redhead wasn't all that competitive, in fact you were pretty sure she let other people win games on the regular to make them feel better about themselves. But there was an undeniable spark of mischief in her eyes when she saw the table.

"You played this before?" You asked convosationally.

"I have." She said as you both automatically took up your positions of opposite ends of the table.

"Me too." You said confidently. "A lot." Wanda hummed in acknowledgment and swivelled her bat in her hand and stood ready. You smiled at her seriousness for the game.

You served surprisingly well for someone who hadn't played in a few years and Wanda was able to hit it back with ease. Once you had developed a steady pace you started hitting the ball more daringly to Wanda who was caught off guard before she started doing the same.

The moment you missed the ball a small smile tugged at the corner of Wanda's lips, her celebration was short lived when you suddenly sent the ball back her way until it was too late.

"That wasn't fair!" She exclaimed childishly.

"That was tables tennis." You said seriously but started smiling again.

Wanda huffed dramatically and flipped you off as she trudged back to the table and served the ball with force. You managed to send it back but took a step away from the table in caution.

You continued like that for a while. The competition tension rising as you picked up the pace, one of you occasionally getting a point before the other evened it out.

At one point you were vaguely aware of Dalton sauntering over to see what you were doing and arched his brow at the sight of the table.

"We still have this thing?" He questioned and you hummed quietly in response, too focused on the game.

"Hey Claire! Get over here, we're playing table tennis." You rolled your eyes at the intrusive and could sense Wanda refraining from doing the same until an idea popped into your head.

You caught the ball in your hand and smiled at Wanda's protests as you moved round to her side of the table just as your sister came out.

"I didn't even know we still had this." Claire laughed as she picked up another bat from the box.

"Maybe we should take it back with us." Wanda whispered to you and you bit your lip to contain your smile because yes, yes you should.

Inevitably, your siblings sucked at table tennis. You had suspected as much you just never thought they would be as bad as they were. They missed almost every hit and everytime they did they got increasingly angry, which meant they ended up flaring their arms around like idiots. It was a memory you would be sure to treasure.

"Stupid game" and "probably broken" kept echoing across the table until your siblings finally stormed off to throw a tantrum.

The rest of the day went by quietly. You and Wanda sat by the lake for most of the afternoon to enjoy the sun and heat. You reveled in the most recent memories of your siblings embarrassment and had to keep hushing down to childish whispered whenever one of them was nearby.

Surprisingly, dinner went by peacefully too.

You weren't asked anymore questions at the table. Instead, your family were content with talking about their upcoming plans between stealing glances at you and Wanda that the redhead never failed to notice.

The pair of you slipped off to your room the first moment you got and easily fell into bed besides one another. Wanda picked out a DVD from her bag of an old Sokovian show she used to watch as a child and had you hooked on as well as teaching you the language.

She settled down beside you and within the first few scenes she wrapped an arm around your shoulder so you could sink into her further like she did sometimes when you watched things together. You were barely paying attention to the series after that.

Despite trying to keep your focus on understanding what was happening in scenes of the show, you couldn't help but want to melt under the warmth of your best friend. You hoped it was something you got to experience more, you felt safer than you ever had in Wanda's arms.

Little did you know that having you in her arms was the most comforting feeling Wanda ever experienced and she always tried to do it as little as possible to refrain from falling for you more. It never worked.

You had thought waking up in Wanda's arms the morning before had been the best thing to awake to. But that day when you woke up not only were your legs tangled together again but the redhead was slowly stroking your hair while your head rested on her chest.

It was a gradual gesture that maintained a perfect rhythm and made you want to fall back asleep. But you were afraid you would mistake it for a dream later on. No, it was definitely real.

Luckily, your head was already tilted upwards slightly so when you secretly opened your eyes to risk a peek at your friend you saw her staring out the window as though she was in a trance. She was clearly so deep in thought she hadn't noticed you wake up, you had never seen her like it. But the feeling was too good to ignore, too compelling.

Soon enough, you found yourself drifting off back to sleep.

When you woke up again Wanda was gone. Her absence left an emptiness you knew wasn't good for you. As the days of your visit went on your fake relationship with Wanda was going to effect you even more when it was over.

Over...you couldn't think about that.

Once you got up and got changed you found Wanda in the kitchen looking at the news on her phone as she sipped her coffee.

"Morning, honey." You grinned. Wanda blushed slightly into her coffee, something you thought was undeniably adorable.

"Morning yourself." She tried to play off smoothly making you grin more.

You made breakfast for you both just as your mum came into the kitchen and greeted you both with an overplayed smile, already talking to Wanda about an upcoming party that she should go to. Wanda mumbled something about a busy schedule as you managed to whisp her away outside with your food.

Eventually, you and Wanda became bored with sitting around in the house when you had such amazing surroundings on your doorstep. You declared that you were going on a walk with the redhead and left before any of your family could invite themselves to go with you. Especially as you had told your friend to wear her swimwear underneath her clothing as you had a surprise for her.

You made a point of holding Wanda's hand as you left and once you were far away from the house went to take it back only for her to hold on tighter.

"You never know where they could be lurking." She joked as an excuse, so you starting swinging your arms playfully as to assure her you wanted your hands to stay linked together too.

You spent hours in those woods and was thankful for having a spy best friend who of course knew to pack the essentials like food and drinks so you could stay away from the house as long as you wanted.

The redhead brought so much you were able to have a small picnic on top of a hill that overlooked the large lake that stretched out all the way back to the house. You remembered thinking up stories as to explain the strange shape and curves to it as a child.

"It's beautiful here." Wanda said as she picked some grapes from the bunch between you.

"It is." You agreed with a fond smile.

"I used to want to live in a place like this." She muttered, sparking your interest.

"In the woods?" You asked curiously and she nodded.

"I thought I could retire to the woods and get a small cabin and I could grow my own food and that was all I needed." You hummed with a smile as you studied Wanda's features.

"Sounds lonely." You thought aloud.

"I'd have a cat." She said simply making you laugh. "I never used to think that but now when it crosses my mind and I picture that life... I picture someone else there with me." You knew she was imagining it as she spoke and you wished you could see exactly what it was she wanted.

"We could always downgrade the holiday house." You half joked as you nodded in the vague direction of the house. "Make it a simple cabin."

"We?" Wanda asked hopefully, the emotion clear before she had a chance to conceal it.

"There's no one I'd rather run away and live in the forest with." You joked although there was a lot of truth to your words. The redhead considered you for a while before smiling and nodded as though she had reached her own internal conclusion.

"Come on." You said suddenly as you stood up and dusted yourself off.

"You want to go back?" Wanda asked and you grinned.

"I'm going to show you that surprise." You declared and packed the remaining food away. Wanda did the same, eager to see the surprise you kept secret the whole way.

It was quite a way back to the house. The whole time Wanda kept asking more questions about it but you wouldn't say. She could only make guesses based on the swim wear which should have left only a few options, non of which she got right.

Finally, you arrived where you wanted to and grinned at Wabda before starting towards the edge. The redhead frowned as she watched you approach the ledge and became worried when she invisioned the steep slope that didn't always lead to water straight down. If you were to fall... your friend didn't have to wait long to see that. You slipped along the edge and disappeared from her view as she gave a startled cry and sprinted towards the edge and knelt over with wide eyes, expecting to see something that could haunt her forever but instead she saw you on a wide ledge but seven feet below her.

To your left was part of the ledge that had been dug into randomly and acted as perfect aid to get back into the woods above.

"Come down here." You beckoned as you starter to take your top off. Wanda's eyes widened more and quickly turned around and dropped down next to you steadily.

She glanced over the side of the small ledge to glance at the fifty foot drop into the water. There was nothing in the way to fall onto but there was no telling how deep that water was.

"You can't go in like that." You laughed as you kicked off your shorts and pushed them to the side.

Wanda's face heated up at the sight of you in your y/f/c bikini as you assessed the view. But even in her flustered state she was able to put it all together.

"You want to jump down there?" She exclaimed making you laugh.

"I've done it tones of times." You assured. "It's fun."

"It's a death wish! What if the waters not deep enough?" She questioned making you laugh more.

"Are you scared, Wan?" You teased as you took a step towards her making her avert her eyes from your form. She scoffed to play it off.

"Of course not." You hummed in faux belief.

"Well then I'll see you down there." You grinned and took a couple of steps back until your feet were no longer on the platform and you were plummeting down towards the water where you landed with a splash.

Wanda held her breath as she waited for you to resurface for a few agonising seconds. When you did with a gasp and started kicking around frantically to keep yourself afloat with your built up adrenaline the redhead sighed in relief and started taking off her own shorts and shirt and placed them next to your things.

You've jumped from higher. She told herself as she rocked on her feet. And you have powers! She argued back before she shoved those thoughts aside and threw herself off the ledge and into the water below. You laughed as she came back up and pushed her hair away from her way. You swam closer to her and saw her wide smile.

"Fuck." Wanda whispered with a laugh as she looked back up from where you had both come.

"Told you it was fun." You teased as you tried not to focus on the low cut on her bikini bra.

"Yeah yeah." She laughed and paused when she looked past you and saw you were surprisingly close to the house. She could see the outline of your family sat outside.

"They're looking." Wanda muttered. You could tell by the look on her face who she was talking about. It wasn't like there was anyone else around either.

"Do you think they've caught on?" You asked nervously as you stared at Wanda's brown eyes to stop you looking at your family.

"Maybe..." She considered and glanced around. "It's not like we've been acting like that much of a couple." You scoffed at that.

"At home everyone assumes we're dating and the one time we need it be believable it isn't." You rolled your eyes but couldn't help the smile.

"I know." Wanda laughed for a second but then paused. "Then let's give them something believable." She gently placed both her hands on your waist and pulled you slowly towards her. You let her guide you and took extra notice of the water droplets across her face. You almost trembled when your bare stomachs pressed together in the water lightly.

Wanda's soft hands left your waist and gripped your thighs to pull you up to wrap your legs around her own waist. You couldn't help but giggle at the gesture as you wrapped your arms around the redhead's neck and held onto her waist with your legs in a lock.

"Can I?" Wanda whispered when she lifted your chin with her finger and her other hand came round the back of your neck.

"Just shut up and kiss me." You demanded with a playful smile and leaned in to do it yourself.

You smiled into the kiss and felt Wanda do the same. It was everything you had ever imagined it to be. Her lips were soft and fell into place perfectly against your own as they moved together. Your mind was hazey and your stomach was doing flips at the realisation that you were actually kissing your long time crush. You forced yourself to remember that it was all a show. That Wanda didn't mean it. But she put on a believable act and kissed passionately, even slipping her tongue through your parter lips to explore your mouth further.

When she eventually pulled away you rested your foreheads together to catch your breath and grinned as you closed your eyes.

"You're a really good kisser." You blurted out making Wanda chuckle.

"Not too bad yourself." She teased.

"I hope not, we're gonna have to do that again." You smiled and instantly realized that sounded like a confession you desperetly wished you could claim. "You know because...Once probably wasn't enough to make it entirely believable." You rambled and Wanda nodded somewhat stiffly and let your legs drop back down. You wanted to say something to her, anything but it was all stuck on the tip of your tongue.

Just as you opened your mouth to speak, a small murmurarion of starlings flew across the lake, some of them skimming the water then gaining height again as they got closer to you and Wanda. You both ducked instinctively as they flew over your heads and off towards the forest again as you watched them in awe until they disappeared. You glanced up at the sky and noticed the sun had gone behind a cloud, ableing you to continue looking up at the other birds higher up.

You kicked your legs up slightly so you could lay on your back and outstretch your arms to keep you afloat in the water so you could stare up at the sky without hurting your neck.

You didn't realise Wanda mimicked you until her hands brushed against yours. She withdrew it as soon as you touched and went to murmmer an apology but you smiled and held onto her hand as you both lay watching the birds.

Neither of you had to say anything. It was a comfortable and peaceful silence that was occasionally filled with birds chirping or the sound of a calm breeze. Of all the things you expected to feel on that trip, relaxed was not one of them.

You stayed like that for a while until you were both snapped out of your daydreams by the distant yell that declared dinner. Well, you had to go back to them eventually.

Both of you took your time swimming back to dry land and only felt a shiver when you left the water and the breeze hit you. Wanda spotted and reached the towels before you and wrapped yours around you tightly. You thanked her with a small blush as you both sauntered up to the house where the mouthwatering smell of a barbecue greeted you. Your dad was leaning over it while shooing your brother away as he tried to offer his 'help'.

You and Wanda went inside to change swiftly and came back outside as the food was being placed on plates and your mum finished setting up the buffet. Everyone starter helping themselves and you piled as much food as you could onto the plate. You parents had asked what food Wanda liked and when you gave them a brief list you added in a few things you knew you both loved.

"You gonna eat all that?" Anna asked as she eyed all the food on your plate. Guilt and insecurities washed over you until Wanda purposefully grabbed a large handful of small sausage rolls and put them on her plate that was piled with a considerable amount more food than your own. You smiled at the reassuring gesture as she sat down with a satisfied grin on her face when she saw Anna close her mouth to stay quiet.

"Thanks." You whispered to her as you sat down.

"If you don't eat all that I will." She declared. You were pretty sure she went back for seconds.

Instead of disappearing back to your room like you did the previous nights, you and Wanda stayed with your family for a while after dinner. It wasn't to do with their company, more the mesmerising fire in the firepit you all sat around. You were cuddled up into Wanda's side with a blanket over both of you as you stared at the flames, smiling at their small flickers and dances.

"So Wanda," one of your sisters began, "are any of the other Avengers...you know." She nodded her head in the direction of you both.

Oh boy you though.

"I don't think it's my place to say." Wanda said because yes, a lot of the Avengers were queer.

"Oh come on, you can tell us." Anna encouraged as she sat forward eagerly.

"I could, but I'm not going to." Wanda continued to defy.

"Lay off it guys." You mumbled but was ignored. Your family took it in turns saying her teammates names in hopes of sparking a reaction, clearly forgetting they were facing someone who had been trained by Natasha Romanoff.

"Stark!" Claire said but was instantly shut down by the others.

"He's married!" Dalton objected.

"Could still be bi though." Claire tried but Dalton just scoffed.

"I suppose there's going to be more surprises."

"What does that mean?" Wanda asked with narrowed eyes, feeling protective of her teammates. Dalton met her gaze with his own challenging one.

"I just never thought one of the Avengers would be a dyke." You felt Wanda stiffen as you all held your breath. There was no way to tell what was going through the redhead's mind, especially as after all those years of friendship you still didn't even know what team she batted for. She was an ally at least, but would she see this as her battle to fight?

Upon getting no reaction, Dalton continued. "It makes sense why you'd hang out with y/n though, we always knew something was wrong with her but-"

"That's enough." Your mum snapped with a guilty expression she failed to mask. You swallowed hard and moved to get up, deciding you had heard enough.

"Then you're idiots." Wanda stated as she glared daggers at your brother while you sunk down.

"I'll have you know I have a doctorate-"

"Your idiots." She repeated. "There's nothing wrong with y/n, which is impressive considering she's grown up around you lot." You looked at your friend in awe as she continued.

"She's the most amazing person I've ever known, including any of the Avengers. She's everything that you're not and I'm lucky to call her my girlfriend. It doesn't matter what any of you think of her, I love her and I always will." She declared as shot daggers at each individual family member who had fallen silent. She took your hand and pulled you up from your seat to take you inside.

You couldn't get her saying she loved you out of your head. You reminded yourself over and over again on the way to your room that it was just an act. That the redhead was making her point. But God, how you wished it was real.

She was so gentle with you as she guided you through the house. When you got to your room and broke down sobbing she held you on the bed for a long time until your cries turned to sniffles. The thing was, you weren't sure what you were crying over. Sure, what Dalton had said had hurt. As did the confirmation that your whole family had always looked down on you. But you had known that was the case for a long time, you had moved on from it.

Instead, you may have being crying over what you didn't know and didn't have. How much of what Wanda said was true? It was all based off of something that wasn't real. What if she saw you the same way your family did?

When you stopped crying you became aware of Wanda gently stroking your hair as she rested her head on yours and held you close to her. You remembered the memories you had accumulated over the past few days with her. The kisses, the hand holding, the nights together, how she stood up for you like no one ever had. You loved her so much.

"I think we should go tomorrow." Wanda mumbled and you nodded into her shoulder.

"I'm not going to leave you though, you know that right? You can stay at mine and we'll watch more of those crappy American movies you like." She mocked lightly making you chuckle against her. "Whatever you want."

"I just want you." You said honestly. You knew you shouldn't have said that, but you were too emotionally drained to care.

"I just want you too, y/n." You pulled away from the redhead to look at her clearly.

"I don't think you know what I mean." You sniffed and she smiled at you fondly.

"I mean what I said earlier, around the fire." Your eyes widened slightly and you held your breath.

"It was all an act though." You whispered and Wanda chuckled as she exhaled sharply.

"No y/n." "I think I am inlove with you." She said as she took ahold of your hand and searched your face for any signs of a reaction to her confession.

"Me?" You questioned, not quite believing it.

"Yes you, idiot." You smiled and sighed in relief, not being able to find the words to express your overflowing happiness and numerous other emotions you couldn't quite pinpoint. You let go of Wanda's hand and brought them both up to cup her cheeks. You had done a lot more handholding than kissing in the previous few days. It needed to be evened out.

You closed the gap between you and kissed Wanda with just as much passion as you had in the lake, except all hesitation and questions were gone. Because you knew she loved you. Oh God she loved you. You grinned into the kiss at the thought and felt her hand fall to your hip while the other caressed the side of your neck in the most gentle manner you had ever seen from her.

When you eventually pulled away you rested your forehead against hers, a smile still playing on both your lips.

"Told you we'd have to do that again." You said and and laughed. "I love you too."

"Well I hoped that wasn't a pity kiss." She joked and you smacked her arm playfully.

"It definetly was not and I'll prove it to you by taking you on a date when we get back." You promised as you sat back to look at her clearly.

"Oh yeah?" She asked with a playful smirk and leaned over so her face was inches away from yours.

"Yeah." You said back.

"Well until then, my real girlfriend should definetly just keep kissing me." She said as she pushed you down gently and kissed you again. You smiled against her gleefully.

"Your girlfriend would love to."

#wanda maximoff imagines #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff imagine #wanda maximoff #scarlett witch #fake dating au

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thefanficmonster · 3 years

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Casual

Ranboo x Reader (Female)

Warnings: None, unless talking about the future counts

Genre: FLUFF, Humor, RPF (Real Person Fic)

Summary: Following the arrival of the dreadful invitation to his cousin’s wedding Ranboo turns to the only cover-up he can think of to keep his still-single status hidden from his family.

Requested by Anon. Hi darling! Thank you so much for your wonderful request! I’m so glad you sent your idea to me and I’m so glad you were my first official Ranboo request. I’m really sorry it’s taken me so long to write it but I still hope you’ll come across it and read it! Love, Vy ❤

“Heyyy, so Y/N, I have a favor to ask you...um yeah, call me back, it’s awkward sending it via voicemail. Bye“

Huh - that’s the first thought that goes through my head when I listen to the voicemail left after a missed call from my best friend Ranboo. The favors he usually asks for consist of requesting assistance for his videos in which I also appear with a mask and sunglasses to keep the brand running. I genuinely have nothing against my face being shown but when I think about it, I’m honestly a bit glad people can’t identify me.

Anyways, back to the favors, Ranboo is no stranger to asking me for them but they’ve never been considered too awkward for a voicemail which is why I’m no slightly concerned. I’ve been swamped with work for school and studies for the graduation finals for the past two weeks and it seems like I’ll never get on top of it and I know Ranboo’s been in a similar situation too, so maybe he needs help with that? He’s not used to asking help for school stuff, he sometimes even has a hard time accepting it when I openly offer it to him.

I eventually sigh, decide that playing this guessing game will not get me anywhere and settle on giving him a call as I make my way home from the gym with my legs barely putting up with the task of carrying me around.

He picks up on the second ring.

“Hey! Wh-...“

“Would you pretend to be my girlfriend for my cousin’s wedding next weekend?!“

My legs take that opportunity to stop moving in the middle of the sidewalk which is luckily void of any people at the moment. It’s not my fault my body’s first reaction was to freeze up at the question that came flying at me like an out-of-control jet, almost as though he’s been dying to say it and get it over with.

“Um...run that by me again please, I think I misunderstood.“ I say, blinking blankly as though awoken from a fever dream. No, actually as though I’m IN a fever dream right now.

“Ok, now that the cat’s out of the bag, wanna grab some coffee and talk about it face-to-face. I need to see your facial expressions to gauge what response to expect.“ He says, the previous nervousness gone and his voice calm as regularly once again.

I’m this close to face-palming but I squeeze my eyes tightly shut and bring myself to utter a reply, “Our usual spot. Be there in ten minutes.”

* * *

“No freaking way.“ I shake my head, folding my arms over my chest as I lean back in my seat in the booth we picked when we arrived. Good thing I got an iced coffee cause even a hot one would’ve gone cold by now considering I haven’t yet taken the time to have even a sip of it. I’ve been too busy listening to the long and short of the explanation and begging speech Ranboo probably made last night to try and convince me to agree to this nonsense. “Dude, we’ve been friends since middle school-...“

“Exactly! Who else was I gonna ask?“ He cuts me off, pleading gaze meeting my unimpressed one.

I huff before continuing my previous statement, “We’ve been friends since middle school so you know my opinion on weddings.” I put extra emphasis on the word ‘opinion’, giving him the clear hint at the distaste I’ve expressed on the topic multiple times before.

“And you know we’re on the same page there but there’s no way I can avoid going unless someone kidnaps me.“ He too now gets in the same stance as me, his coffee forgotten too.

I can’t help but snort out a little laugh, “I’d be more than happy to kidnap you considering the other option is far less appealing to me.“

He, of course, rolls his eyes at me as though he didn’t offer to do the same thing so I could avoid an exam but anyways. “So you’re gonna choose to fake a kidnapping that has the potential of landing you in jail over coming to eat some great food and maybe even have some fun at a wedding with your best friend? I’m hurt.“ He says, frowning to cover up the smile that’s fighting its way onto his face.

Now it’s my turn to roll my eyes, “I’d be kidnapping you, dummy...” I cut myself off to let out a long sigh and calm down before I go off at him. His smirk isn’t helping me much with the task either. I’ve known Ranboo long enough to know he’ll eventually convince me and he’s known me long enough to know how to do that exactly. With that in mind, there’s really no point in getting so worked up and wasting my energy. And so, despite my own rationality, I cave. “Fine, but I’m not staying the whole wedding.“

His eyes immediately light up and almost makes me feel the compromise was worth it. Almost. I mean, when you’ve been best friends with someone for so long, seeing them happy is worth more to you than your own comfort sometimes.

And he knows it too. Which is exactly why he outstretches his hand for me to shake and says: “Just one dance and you’re free to go. Deal?”

I take his hand without hesitations. That’s a better offer than I could’ve ever imagined. “Damn straight it’s a deal.“

* * *

“How long until you kick the heels off?“ Ranboo asks, bringing me a non-alcoholic cocktail and sitting down next to me.

I take a sip and giggle, “You kidding? I already kicked them off and replaced them with flats. I need mobility if we dance. They also lower the risk of me severing off a toe of yours if I step on you on accident.”

He laughs, clinking his glass against mine before he gets a bit more serious, “By the way, thanks for handling my family’s attack so well. I know it might’ve been a bit much but you handled it like a pro. Still, I’m sorry on their behalf.”

I shake my head and wave my hand dismissively, “Don’t mention it. I’d probably react the same way if my brother or cousin brought a date to an important family event like this.” I instinctively turn to look in the direction of where the majority of his family has gathered around, chatting with guests, smiling brightly. It’s hard not to immediately take a liking towards these people. They’ve been a second family to me ever since Ranboo and I started hanging out so I completely understand why they were so shocked to see me in the role of his ‘girlfriend’.

“I’ll tell my parents the truth later, our extended family is the ones I wanted to fool to be perfectly honest.“ He looks around as do I and we catch more than a few pairs of eyes fixated on us that turn away when they realize they’ve been spotted, “Mission accomplished by the looks of it.“

I chuckle. I’ve never felt so comfortable at a wedding before. I don’t feel stressed nor anxious despite knowing that there’s quite the number of eyes on me and there are whispers going around about my ‘relationship’ with Ranboo. It’s oddly calming and relaxing to be surrounded by some familiar and some unfamiliar faces. This cocktail is pretty great too.

Speaking of which, if it had any alcohol in it I’d blame it for the decision I’m about to make but this one’s entirely on me: I tap Ranboo with one hand while taking out my phone with the other. “If we’re already the talk of the wedding, let’s give them something to talk about.“ I say as I put up my phone, pretending to be taking a selfie leaning in to give him a kiss on the cheek.

When I pull away I can clearly see that he’s still processing what just happened. I can’t help but burst out in a fit of laughter as I reach out to wipe the lipstick stain I left on his cheek. He looks like a lost, clueless puppy with the question: ‘what on Earth just happened???’ replaying in his head and it’s so freaking cute!

Wait....what was that? Since when do I use the adjective cute to describe Ranboo? Didn’t I think he looks handsome in a suit earlier too? The hell is with me today?

Then it hits me - the feeling isn’t foreign. Like, I know I’ve felt it before but I never analyzed it or even bothered to acknowledge it. But now that I do, I’m afraid of what it might be.

“There!“ I say, desperately trying to push the thoughts away along with this little firework show in my stomach, “Now you have pinker cheeks. Well, cheek, singular.“

As if snapping out of his state of confusion, he returns to Earth with a smirk, “Kiss the other to even it?”

Alright, his blush might not be even but mine now is and it’s ten times as intense and very much apparent but I don’t let the feeling shine through anything else as I proceed to actually kiss his other cheek too, wiping the lipstick stain.

“Thanks. You’re the best.” And just like that, as though it’s no big deal, he kisses my forehead.

See, that’s the thing, it shouldn’t be a big deal! It’s never been! This is far from the first time I’ve kissed him on the cheek or the first time he’s given me a forehead kiss. These are regular occurrences after years of this lovely friendship we have. Why do they feel so different now?

Then, much to my relief, the music starts and the lights turn off leaving only one spotlight for the groom and bride to have their first dance. They look absolutely astonishing and I can certainly say I’ve never before stopped to think that about any newly weds of the weddings I’ve preciously been to. I don’t know if it has something to do with the company I have for this particular wedding or it’s maybe the fact that my mindset’s changed over the years without me realizing.

Then I automatically look at Ranboo who just so happens to be looking at me too and all I can say is: my mindset hasn’t changed.

A loud applause takes over when the couple finish their dance, officially opening the dancefloor for any other pairs who’d like to occupy it and I’m happy to see how many people are eager to rush up with their partner.

Ranboo gets up, putting the glass down and offers me his hand, “So, wanna dance? Don’t take this as a sign to leave though, we said one dance and you CAN leave, not SHOULD.” He says, giving me a warning look.

I roll my eyes and am about to give him some sass right back but he takes my hand and picks me up from my seat, leading me to the dancefloor. And I gotta admit maybe it’s a good thing he did. If he left it to me I would’ve probably said no to the dance and ran the hell away. Why? - Cause I’m freaking terrified of this new mindset and point of view and these intense emotions I never used to pay any mind to before in regards to my best friend.

Friends don’t feel that way about friends. Friends don’t look at friends that way. What’s happening to me?

When I gotta look him in the eyes like this, not for the first time might I add, I can finally understand how the friends-to-lovers trope works: it’s all meaningless until it starts to mean so much to you. It’s all platonic until it reminds you of a romantic movie moment. It ‘best friends’ until it’s ‘I wish we were more than that’. It’s all casual, until it’s not.

And, unfortunately, it’s irreversible.

Damn do I wish I ran away now...

#ranboo #ranboo fanfiction #ranboo x you #ranboo fanfic #ranboo fluff #dream smp #ranboo imagine #ranboo x y/n #ranboo x reader #fic #fanfic #fanficiton #fandom #fluff #friends to lovers #x reader #request #requests open #reader

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luna-writes-stuff · 2 years

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Day 6: Just A Little Bit Of Your Heart, Kaz Brekker

Song link

Fanfic, female! reader

Angst. Like, painful angst.

Word count: 2668

Tw: Angst, heartbreak, bit of Kanej, but not officially. Kaz has conflicted feelings. You feel abandoned. Crying, descriped anxiety/overthinking, fake smiles. Overall heart-breaking.

Summary: For a while, it has been clear to you that Kaz spends more and more time with Inej while the two of your have been together for a long time. You don't dare confront him about it, scared you will lose him if you do so. So you try to make enough of the love you're getting.

Much requested part two out now!!

"I don't ever ask you where you've been. And I don't feel the need to know who you're with."

It was usual for Kaz to come to your room late at night. You have been dating for a couple years, and taking some private time together at night has done wonders for your relationship. He would walk in around ten, entering with tea or coffee, ready to discuss his day or simply lay beside you as you engulf yourself in a book. Words weren't always a necessity.

Yet, since a couple weeks, late visits turned into late late visits. Instead of ten, he would be there at eleven. He would leave earlier, and be more closed off.

You know that he was like that, of course, but you weren't stupid. You knew there was a reason he became late and distant. You knew there was a reason behind his acting. Why his speech had shortened and his laugh became more rare. But would you ask him, he'd definitely dismiss it.

"I can't even think straight, but I can tell you were just with her."

It had come to your attention that he and Inej seemed to become closer every second. During heists, he'd always make sure she was okay before checking on you. He'd bring Inej her food while you had to walk. Even in your nightly conversation, Inej became a common topic.

But you couldn't bring yourself to hate the girl. She wouldn't risk your relationship on purpose. She had been so happy for you and Kaz. There was not a small piece of her that ever thought of stealing him from you and you knew it. But you also couldn't bring yourself to hate Kaz. You have been at his side for so long, you could not throw it away because of someone else. Certainly not for that someone who happened to be a good friend of yours.

So you played along with the game. Acting as if you had no idea what was going on and that it was not bothering you. You'd force that smile on your face whenever Kaz visited late at night to talk about the girl. You'd fake a laugh whenever Inej joked about something of Kaz. You even brought yourself to sit next to Jesper instead of Kaz, just so he and Inej could sit next to each other.

"And I'll still be a fool, I'm a fool for you."

You had to pretend it didn't hurt, as if it didn't make you want to scream. You'd have to put on your charade of easy-going girlfriend, keeping a blind eye to your boyfriend's torn heart. Just to be getting that special piece of love from him every night.

And that was the one thing that kept you at his side.

"Just a little bit of your heart. Just a little bit of your heart. Just a little bit of your heart is all I want."

How long you had been waiting, you didn't know. It had already been past eleven and Kaz had yet to stop by. You brought yourself some tea, seeing as Kaz barely did that anymore, but the tea had turned cold. You promised yourself to drink it when he'd arrive, but you had told yourself that ninty minutes ago. The book in your lap had been long forgotten. You couldn't bring yourself to read. Your mind had been on him and him alone.

Perhaps you should look for him, but what if he had been busy? You would be interrupting. But surely, he wouldn't mind. It was kind of a ritual for the two of you. If he missed it, it must've been something important, and he might need your help for it.

So you huffed to yourself, standing up from your bed and smoothing out your clothes. You walked to the door, cold tea in hand, ready to throw it down the sink. It hadn't been that great of a drink anyway.

As you stalked the hallways of the Slat, you could hear Jesper, Nina and Wylan laughing in the background, followed by Matthias' complaining voice. You shook your head at the sound, but walked past the busy room.

Only a short while later, you were standing in front of Kaz' door. You held your head high, preparing to knock on the door. Yet, just before your hand came in contact with the hardwood, you heard a familiar chuckle on the other side of that door.

Inej.

"Just a little bit of your heart. Just a little bit of your heart. Just a little bit is all I'm asking for."

Your heart could have quite literally been breaking at the sound of it. You stood there for a second, debating on what to do. But when you heard Kaz' laugh sound only moments after, you spun around on your heels, tears threatening to make their way out of your eyes. The hallways now seemed to go on forever, the darkness of them overwhelming you more than they had before. Had they always held that shade, or was it just your current perception?

You passed the cozy room again. You could hear Nina calling out for you, but you ignored her, putting your cup on of of the many tables in the hall before making your way up the stairs. At the moment, you wanted nothing more than to finally let go of these emotions you were holding back, just for them to lull you to sleep afterwards.

When you finally neared your own door, you opened it quickly, shutting it behind you with a mere slam of your arm. You threw yourself onto your bed, exhaustion taking over. Not necessarily physical exhaustion, no.

You were tired of the pretending. Tired of the smiling and laughing, acting as if nothing ever bothered you. And you were tired of knowing your own mind better than anyone else.

You were tired of knowing that you would do it all over again if only you could be rewarded with some of Kaz' love.

"I don't ever tell you how I really feel. 'Cause I can't find the words to say what I mean."

"Bad sleep?" Wylan asked as you sat at the breakfast table. Your face had become more shallow, your replies short and abrupt.

"Great sleep." You answered without a smile, taking a bite of your sandwich. You felt Kaz' eyes on you, but you ignored them. And not because you were mad at him, but because you could not bear the confrontation. Had you even been mad at him to begin with?

"Are you feeling alright?" Nina now wondered, sparing you a concerned look.

"Yes." You returned, shooting a dangerous look to Jesper who was about to comment on your response. His mouth shut at your eyes, looking down at his glass.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Inej now tried, placing a hand in front of yours to get your attention. You swallowed at her words, your eyes meeting hers. And there had been no malice or teasing tone in them. It had been a concerned, genuine question. One that could quite literally just make you scream.

"Mm-hmm." You hummed, swiftly taking another bite of your sandwich to prevent you from speaking anymore.

"And nothing's ever easy, that's what they say. I know I'm not your only."

After breakfast, you immediately turned to your room, sick of everyone's questions. Even after forcing yourself to stop pretending last night, you had fallen back into it, almost as if it had been natural.

And pretending was so much easier than being honest. Pretending meant everyone was happy, except for you, while being honest meant hurting everyone, which would simultaneously result in you being hurt. In any scenario, you'd be in pain, so you figured, sparing the rest was kinder than throwing your suffering on everyone else.

You knew that letting Kaz go would be the better option, but something about staying with him sounded so appealing to you. Simply the thought of him caring about you would be able to soothe your heart. He could merely say that he would want you to be safe and you'd believe it, even if it was obvious that he was lying. And it was testing your stability.

"But I'll still be a fool. 'Cause I'm a fool for you."

A simple knock ripped you out of your thoughts.

"Can I come in?" Kaz' voice sounded from the other door. You lift your head from the pillow, noticing the faint stains on them. You had been crying and you didn't even realize it. Furiously, you wiped your tears away, running to your mirror to inspect your face. There was no way to hide what you were just doing; your cheeks were red, your eyes glossy and your nose running.

You grabbed a t-shirt that had been neatly folded up on top of your drawer, making sure all the tear tracks were gone, drying your eyes with them too.

"A moment." You called, swallowing the heavy lump in your throat as you made sure your hair hadn't been as messy as before. You walked towards the door, holding your head low to give you some more time to recover your expressions.

"Just a little bit of your heart. Just a little bit of your heart. Just a little bit of your heart is all I want."

With a deep sigh, your hand touched the handle, opening the door for Kaz. You did not look at his face yet, but you could see a book in his hands. It had been a book you had been talking about for days. You had been trying to get your hands on it for a while, but the bookstores always seemed to be out of them. But Kaz found a copy.

"I'm sorry for not running by last night. I was occupied in an important meeting with a buyer." He apologized, and you nearly broke down in front of his eyes.

He was lying. Why would he be lying about that?

"It's okay." You soothed, accepting the book as you took a step back, silently inviting him to step inside.

"I know I should have at least told you so, but he appeared sooner than expected, so I didn't have any time."

Another lie. He had never lied to you before. He never had a reason to.

"Just a little bit of your heart. Just a little bit of your heart. Just a little bit is all I'm asking for."

"That's the book you were talking about, right?" Kaz checked, pointing towards the book that you were now holding.

"Yes." You confirmed. "Yes, it is."

Kaz now walked up to you, his hand slowly racing. You had yet to meet his face. You were staring at the ground the entire time. You had to think of something quickly, before he realized something was wrong.

So you turned around, walking towards your bookshelf, pretending to organize it and make place for it, while in reality, you had long did that. You were waiting for this book in specific. But it threw Kaz off his track. He would no longer be suspicious.

"Should I get us something to drink?" You offered, coughing lightly as you sniffed your nose.

"Oh, no." Kaz eased. "I won't be staying. Inej needed help with her tactic for the next heist."

Your throat ran dry at these words. He wasn't staying. Of course not. Inej needed him.

You heard his footsteps near the door again, his cane following the sound. "Enjoy your reading." He announced, now leaving the room.

"I know I'm not your only. But at least I'm one."

When you were sure he was out of earshot, you threw the book down, letting out a whimper as you sunk to the ground slowly, resting your back against the bookcase.

You were foolish to think his heart would have changed just like that. He just did the same thing again; he'd let you think you held his heart, offering you gifts or words of acknowledgement, but the second you were happy, he'd walk right out of your hands once more.

It was the game he was playing. A game you had been all too familiar with. One you were losing.

"I heard a little love is better than none."

"Oh, sweetheart." You suddenly heard from the doorstep. Your head shot upright at the voice, but Nina had already approached.

"You don't have to tell me." She soothed, sitting down in front of you, letting you rest against her chest, crying out on her shoulder. And it felt so good. Piece by piece, you were letting go and even though it was hurting you, part of it felt relieving to you.

"We don't have to talk about it." Nina shushed, rubbing your back gently as she calmly worked on steadying your heartbeat. "It'll pass, whatever it is."

Your hands clung to her shirt as you merely listened to her words, trying to take them to heart. Her sweet scent filled your nose, grounding you to the room, not allowing your mind to drift off again. You would just stay there for a while, in her arms, letting all the pain subside. Just for a minute.

"Just a little bit of your heart. Just a little bit of your heart. Just a little bit of your heart is all I want."

Nina had promised not to mention what had just happened. Not to you, not to anyone. If you wanted to keep it quiet, she'd help you with it. And even though she had no idea what was going on, she would still try to help you through it.

But since the earlier debacle, she quickly seemed to got hold on to what's going on. Each time Kaz or Inej would enter the room, your heart would change its beat. None of the Crows were blind to Kaz and Inej' thing, but everyone just assumed you and your boyfriend had been fine.

Now, everyone except for Nina.

"Jesper, Matthias, you will be on the courtyard. Nina, Wylan and Y/N, you will be going inside. Inej is with me." Kaz concluded after explaining the heist plans. You nodded at his words, already standing up to leave the table. You felt a strong hand grab your arm, but the sensation left as soon as you felt it.

"Meet me in my office, please." Kaz mumbled, making sure the rest hadn't heard. You just nodded again, already moving towards the room.

"Just a little bit of your heart. Just a little bit of your heart. Just a little bit is all I'm asking for."

"Make sure to remember your accent." Kaz instructed, referring to the earlier heist plans.

"Don't attract too much attention. You are simply listening to their conversation, okay?" He questioned, making sure you knew what to do. One more time, you showed him a nod, but only now, he frowned at your actions.

"Try not to get injured." He advised, his voice getting softer. "I don't know what I'd do if you came back hurt."

And there it was; his game. One moment, you think he hates you and then he expresses affection again. But it made you feel oh so good. These simple words had been enough to make you show a tiny smile. A light feeling settled in your stomach at his honest words.

"I won't." You promised, showing your smile at him, causing him to grin at your expression.

"Just a little bit of your heart. Just a little bit of your heart. Just a little bit of your heart is all I want."

You could hate yourself for faking, but you would never forgive yourself for leaving. Sometimes, pain leads to wonderful things right? A little sunshine after storm? A pot of gold at the end of the rainbow? A flick of light in a obscure room?

Perhaps this pain would simply pass after a while, granting you new, wonderful memories with Kaz. You'd just have to get through the difficult and bumpy parts of the relationship.

And if not, you would take enough of the bits of love you can gain. Having a little love is better than losing it entirely.

"Just a little bit of your heart. Just a little bit of your heart. Just a little bit is all I'm asking for."

#november writings #soc #six of crows #grishaverse #leigh bargudo #shadow and bone #shadow and bone netflix #Kaz brekker #Freddy carter #kaz brekker x reader #Kaz brekker imagine

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i-am-distressed · 3 years

Text

JJK Boys as stepdads

Characters: Megumi, Itadori, Yuta, Nanami, Toji, Naoya, Geto, Gojo, Sukuna and Yaga

Warnings: Stepdads, Naoya (if you don't like him, don't worry neither do I, just don't read it😊), Sukuna

Fushiguro Megumi: CEO of, ‘he’s doing his best’

Goes into this whole thing having no experience with kids whatsoever, so he’s way out of his comfort zone.

He really is ‘doing his best’ he tries to get himself up to date with what you kids are doing, and he tries to have meaningful conversations.

But it really is quite difficult for him, give him a break.

I think once he gets used to it though, he’s actually really good at it!

I can see him being a good support system, and will listen to your problems, along with offering sound advice when you need it!

Itadori Yuji: A natural, might as well be the real deal

I see him as someone who would be a natural with kids, like a ‘baby whisperer’.

The first time you guys meet him he’s friendly, but not too friendly. He gets to know you guys without seeming weird or like he’s trying too hard.

But that’s because he genuinely wants to get to know you guys!

He seems like someone who would rather than be intimidated by having step kids, he’s actually pumped to have them!

#1 fan for all that you do, even if he’s never heard of it before, and he shows up to all concerts, games, shows, etc.

Okkotsu Yuta: Nervous wreck, but absolutely adores you guys

You guys were scared to meet him at first because...at first glance, Yuta comes off as intimidating.

But after having (1) conversation with him, it’s clear that you are nowhere NEAR as intimidated by him as he is by you and your siblings.

You’re probably wondering “in what world is a special grade scared of some kids…?”

This one, because bless his heart all Yuta wants is to make your mom (and by association you guys) happy!

He’ll do literally anything to keep you guys safe, happy and healthy, there’s nothing you guys could do that would ever make him hate you, he really does love you guys🥺

Nanami Kento: S t r i c t but will also sneak you candy/extra cash

At first, you don’t have high hopes because...mom help he’s kinda mean.

But as you get to know him, he’s not mean at all, just blunt and still not used to having, well, children.

As you guys get to know him, and he loosens up a bit, he’s really not bad at all.

He makes sure you guys are well fed, get enough rest, and on time to literally everything. No children of his, biological or otherwise, will be like a certain...someone.

Will low key spoil you guys, but you didn’t hear that from me😌

Fushiguro Toji: Does the bare minimum, may or may not have forgotten your name

Okay, so, he’s not the worst, but he is in the running.

The first time you guys met was...awkward to say the least. It’s clear he wasn’t prepared to have more children.

Forgets your names after that day, he didn’t say so, but you know so since once he asked you a question like “Hey...kid, do you know where your mom went?”

He makes sure you guys get food, and he gets you places...eventually, and he does show up to events with reminders.

All in all, he’s not the worst, and he does actually kinda like you guys I guess.

Zen'in Naoya: Literally the worst, but he tries…?

Need I say more?

He really didn’t expect your mom to have children, and when she said she did he really didn’t want to meet them, but you guys come as a package deal so…

The whole meeting he has this fake grin on his face that screams ‘I don’t wanna be here’ and by the end, you guys know where you stand with him smh.

You guys have this ‘enemies that pretend not to despise each other’ kind of relationship, like mutual dislike.

So, you guys just pretend the other isn’t there and fake smiles to make your mom happy.

Geto Suguru: Great stepdad, end of story

Like Yuji, he’s honestly a natural.

He’s really laid back but also responsible, so along with being easy to get along with he’s also a good father figure.

He gets you guys to school on time and has never forgotten you places.

Whether you’re young or old, he learns how to get on you guys’ good sides without getting on your moms’ bad side, and vice versa.

Also acts as a good mediator between you and your mom and will never take sides.

Gojo Satoru: Awful stepdad, end of story

UNlike Yuji and Geto, Gojo is not a natural.

There’s the obvious of him being wildly irresponsible and immature.

And then there’s the less obvious fact that he is a child himself.

Has accidentally left you guys places on multiple occasions, but there’s nothing a little extra cash and food won’t solve.

He does care about you guys, don’t get me wrong, he just still has a fair amount of growing up he has to do himself.

Sukuna Ryomen: I- okay hear me out, it’s not too bad

Idk why I included him UHMM.

Okay, let’s go with the assumption that FOR WHATEVER REASON, he and Yuji are separated and for WHATEVER REASON he walks free.

If he were to ‘settle down’ with a woman, and a woman with kids no doubt, I think it would take him a while.

Like, ‘what do you mean I have to take care of these...gremlins’

Will never baby talk or sugar coat things, he’s gonna talk to you and treat you like an adult even if you’re 3.

Despite how it seems, he actually does have a soft spot for all of you, and if someone were to wrong any of you in any way, they’d be dealing with a very angry Kind of Curses.

Yaga Masamichi: Another great stepdad, I will take no criticism

Another great stepdad, I will not take no for an answer.

He’s already in charge of children (and Gojo) so you guys are nothing compared to what he deals with on the daily.

Perfect balance of responsible and caring, he can play the part of a strong father figure while being calm and nurturing.

A really good role model too, I can see him being someone you guys can look up to and genuinely respect, and he does his best to be that for all of you.

Will no doubt shed a tear if you guys ever gave him a card or mug that said ‘best father ever’ cause we all know it’s the truth <3

#jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen #megumi fushiguro x reader #fushiguro x reader #itadori x reader #yuta okkotsu x reader #nanami x reader #toji fushiguro x reader #naoya x reader #geto x reader #gojo x reader #sukuna x reader #yaga x reader #masamichi yaga x reader

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redrobin-detective · 3 years

Text

all is well

Death is nothing at all, I have only slipped into the next room I am I and you are you Whatever we were to each other, that we are still. ~ Henry Scott Hollard

AO3 link

______________

He hadn’t meant to say it, that much was clear. As much as she wanted to hate him for it, claim it was some sort of cruel manipulation; she knew he was just as distressed as she was. The ghost boy had covered his mouth, bright green eyes wide with panic as his misspoken words brought their battle to a screeching halt. Even the ghost the three hunters had been fighting stopped and stared before flying off. No one moved to stop them. Phantom looked at her fearfully, then over at her companion before vanishing without a trace.

It was a slip of the tongue, an accident, so why did the ghost boy calling her Mom make her blood run so cold?

“I’ve knew a kid who called the teacher Mom one time but I’ve never heard it from a ghost,” the Red Huntress said with a sarcastic chuckle. But her shoulders were tense and it was clear the situation made her uncomfortable too. “You okay, Mrs. Fenton?”

“My son isn’t dead,” Maddie said quietly. She would admit there were times where she’d look at Phantom and see Danny overlaid on top of him but those moments were becoming more and more rare. Maddie liked to think it’s because she could find more differences than similarities between the two but honestly, she couldn’t say who her son was anymore. She saw this damned ghost more than she saw the child living in her own house.

“I know, I’ve seen him around,” Huntress said with steady conviction. It made Maddie pause, as it always did, to wonder just how old Amity’s other human ghost hunter really was. Or how young rather. “It was a mistake, he’ll probably avoid you for a bit out of embarrassment but then things will go back to normal.”

“Yeah, a mistake,” Maddie muttered to herself, finally lowering the gun even though the fighting had ended several minutes ago. Why was this whole thing so unsettling to her? Phantom had said much worse things to her, called her a fake scientist and more obsessive than a ghost. He’d even called her a bad mother once when he’d been particularly riled up. She remembered how offended and angry his unnatural eyes had been as they’d glared accusingly into her.

“You know his parents are still alive,” Huntress said suddenly. “I found out by accident a little while ago.” She was still standing on her hoverboard about 3 feet off the ground, her gaze was trained away from Maddie. “They don’t know that he’s a ghost, that he’s Phantom,” the girl’s head was still turned away from Maddie but she had a feeling she was being watched none the less. “Maybe you remind him of his mother.”

Maddie felt liked she’d been slapped.

“And why does that matter to you?” she questioned defensively to cover how much the conversation was shaking her - they didn’t know how could they not know, how could they not miss - “I thought you hated him as much as we did.”

“I don’t like him,” the Huntress said vehemently. “He’s annoying and acts like he’s the only hunter in this town who can actually do the job. But I,” she paused, “I think I understand him, just a little bit. Enough that I’ve been combing through Amity’s missing children files in my spare time. Of course, it’s no good if no one reported him missing in the first place. Phantom doesn’t want me prying but it’s not right for a kid to die and no one to care.”

“He’s just a ghost,” Maddie said, her words weak even to her ears. Was that why Phantom was stuck here? Because he died forgotten and unmourned? The thought of one of her children, her babies, dying without her knowing... she was going to be sick.

“Yeah, he is,” Huntress nodded, “but he wasn’t always. And humans deserve to be remembered, even if they don’t want to be.” That said, the girl sped off into the setting sun, the varying shades of orange glinting off of her suit. Maddie stood in the middle of the street for a little while longer, gun pointed limply at the ground as her whole world spun.

She drove home slowly, taking the long way around to try and put her conflicting feelings into words before she talked to her husband. When she and Jack first began their research into ghosts, they told themselves that they had to divorce themselves from the people the ghosts had been before. If you focused on the lingering traces of humanity in every monster then they would never be put in their place. But she was human and she had kids around the ghost boy’s age, despite her attempts to stick to logic her heart ached with sympathy.

“And you call yourself a mother,” the Phantom in her memory spat at her, filled with hatred but underneath it all was grief. “Where are your kids now? All you care about is the dead but when are you going to care for the living?” Maddie tightened her grip on the steering wheel to keep her hands from shaking.

“Mads! You’re home!” Jack grinned enthusiastically as she quietly entered the house. “Jazzy has her nose in her books and you know Danny, in and up to his room without a word so I made us grilled cheese!” He held her a plate with a flourish, “they’re ghost shaped!” The world tilted itself a little more onto it’s proper axis, no matter how crazy things got, Jack would always be her true north.

“Gracias,” she said accepting the plate. “Can we talk, privately?” She gestured her head down to the basement. Conversations from the kitchen could easily be heard upstairs and she really didn’t want her children to overhear her asking if she was a bad mom. She didn’t want their confirmation that she was right.

Jack’s goofy grinned smoothed out into something softer and he put one hand gently on her back as they walked down to basement. He kicked her usual stool her way and they sat in silence while they ate their dinners, staring at the swirling vortex of the portal.

“You remember that time Phantom called me a neglectful mother?” Maddie asked quietly after a few minutes.

“Mads, you can’t let that sneaky spook get to you. Everyone knows you’re a great-”

“Jack,” she interrupted harsher than she needed to but she didn’t need comfort from a husband but the unbiased opinion of a fellow scientist. “He accidentally called me Mom while we were fighting today, I don’t - I don’t think he meant it, he looked more scared then I’ve ever seen him before he ran off. Huntress was there too, she said.” Maddie gripped her plate tightly in her hands. “She said that Phantom’s family is still alive, that they don’t know about him.”

“Not know? You mean about him being-”

“Apparently,” Maddie squeezed her eyes shut to fight off the unwanted sympathy she felt. “He’s always been the Ghost Boy, the Ghost Kid. I never - I never fully absorbed what that meant. He looks,” Maddie set the plate aside and dropped her head into her hands. “He’s about Danny’s age.”

“Maddie,” Jack said softly, setting aside his own plate and wheeling himself closer. “Whoever that boy was, he’s gone now and all that’s left is an echo, an obnoxious and powerful echo but he’s not... he’s not a child. Not anymore.”

“But he remembers,” Maddie gasped, angry she was letting herself get all worked up over a stupid ghost. “He called me Mom, Jack. Huntress, she said maybe I reminded him of her and,” her eyes filled with tears now. “He’s comparing me to someone who didn’t even notice that he’d died. What does that say about me? About my relationship with our children? I feel like all I do is argue with Jazz these days and god knows where Danny goes to half the time-”

“Maddie, don’t do that to yourself,” Jack said softly, tilting her face up towards him with a gloved hand. “Once you go down that rabbit hole, there’s no digging yourself out. I think it’s just part of being a parent, always worrying that you’re not doing things right. Sometimes,” Jack gaze dropped, troubled. “Sometimes I enter the room and Danny looks at me and freezes like he expects me to do something terrible... He’s just easily startled but it still hurts.”

“Phantom is an echo, not a child,” Maddie nodded quietly to herself, trying to fall back on her usual logic but it tasted wrong in her mouth. He was a ghost... but also a child. “I wonder what he was like when he was alive? His personality seems remarkably preserved, he must have been a vibrant young man.”

“Or his death was particularly traumatic,” Jack mumbled. “Painful deaths usually leave powerful ghosts. And most healthy teens don’t just drop dead for nothing.” A chill fell over the lab.

“How could they not notice?” Maddie whispered with horror. “What sort of parent wouldn’t see that their child was dead, what? Now two years in?”

“Not everyone is as good a mom as you are, Mads,” Jack said, pulling her into his chest. “Neglectful parents are a dime a dozen sadly. He could’ve been a runaway too, ran off and died leaving his folks still holding out hope that he’d come home. Or maybe...” he frowned, “maybe he’s pretending he’s still alive.”

“No, he couldn’t keep the charade for this long,” Maddie gasped but the horrible idea had been planted none the less. Phantom always seemed in such a hurry, like he had somewhere else to be. Was another woman tapping her feet as she waited for her boy to return like Maddie often did, not knowing her child was long gone?

“He’s a wily one, incredibly solid for a spirit. Sometimes I look at him and swear I see his chest moving like he’s breathing. Dampen his glow, dye the hair, change his clothes, he could probably pass as human so long as you didn’t look too close.”

“Jack,” she pulled back and looked at her husband in a panic. “Jack, if he’s pretending to be human when he’s not fighting then there’s a good chance he goes to Casper.” Her and Jack’s eyes widened with realization at the same time.

Their children’s high school has had an unprecedented amount of ghost attacks since the portal opened. They could never figure out why the ghosts targeted that school and ignored the other elementary, middle or even the other public high, Wendy. “What are we going to do, should we pull out Danny and Jazz? Even just until we figure this out.”

“That might tip the ghost off,” Jack said evenly but his teeth were biting into his cheek with worry. “We don’t want to set him off, who knows what he’d do if his cover was blown.” He might look like a harmless teen but Maddie had seen first hand how devastating Phantom could be when threatened. “I think we should tell the kids.”

“What? Why? You know they’re supportive of him!” Well Jazz certainly was, differing opinion on Phantom seemed to be the cause of half their arguments. Danny, truthfully, she didn’t really know his opinions on the ghost boy. He always looked so uncomfortable talking about ghosts with them so they just didn’t.

“Supportive maybe but they’re smart and observant,” Jack countered. “They could be our eyes and ears inside the school. They know better than to provoke a dangerous ghost,” Jack let his eyes drift over to the portal. “Besides, if the worst comes to pass, I want them to be prepared.”

“I don’t like it but you’re probably right,” Maddie grumbled. “If it keeps them safe then I’d do just about anything.” Jack smiled and leaned forward to kiss her gently, his lips a perfect match for her own.

“And this is why you could never be a bad mother,” he said. “Come on, let’s talk to them before they go to sleep.”

“Or Danny sneaks out again,” Maddie said to herself as she followed her husband up the stairs and heard him call for a Fenton family meeting.

It went about as well as Maddie had expected. Jazz alternated between being angry and anxious, telling them emphatically that Phantom wasn’t hiding among them at school and wasn’t a bad ghost to begin with. Maddie didn’t know what had come over her but she hardly recognized this irrational and emotional young lady as her daughter. She hoped it was just Senior year stress and hormones and not some ghostly influenced. Danny, as usual, sat there like he was a piece of the furniture and didn’t say much at all.

“Danno,” Jack said gently as he interrupted Jazz’s rant to engage their youngest. “You would tell us if you noticed anything unusual with one of your classmates, right? You know we’re telling you kids this because we trust you, love you and want to keep you safe.”

“Have you considered that keeping guns around the house, threatening to hunt and torture ghosts doesn’t make me feel very safe?” Danny said quietly, looking down at the table. “So what if he sometimes goes to school, maybe he wants to have something normal in his life. All I know is that if I was Phantom, maybe I would want to hide too. So people like you didn’t find me.” For the second time that night, the words of a teenage boy stopped her cold.

“Danny, what do you-” Danny didn’t elaborate and instead pushed his chair back and headed towards the door.

“Young Man, where are you going? It’s almost curfew and we’re not done here,” Maddie scolded even though she knew that neither her or Jack were in the control of the situation. Danny opened the door and didn’t look back.

“I won’t be long, just a lap around the block. I just, I just need some air, okay?” The house became quiet, no one quite knowing what to say. Jazz excused herself a moment later and walked back up to her room. She slammed her door shut. The ticking of the clock was the only sound to be heard in the suddenly silent kitchen.

“Is that how he sees us?” Jack asked quietly, looking down at his large hands. “Danny used to think what we did was so cool, when did that change?” When did he change? was the silent, unasked question. Or maybe they'd all changed, grown apart so slowly that no one had really noticed. Maddie stood up abruptly and stalked towards the door, strapping an ectogun to her hip as she went.

“Mads, maybe you should give him-”

“You know as well as I do that this is the peak time for ghosts. Danny, he might not trust us but I won’t let a disagreement get him killed.” It was full dark outside and she was halfway down the block before she realized she didn’t know which direction Danny had gone in. The night air was chill for mid-April as it shook off the last dregs of winter. She was feeling cold in her protective hazmat; Danny had left in short sleeves. Maybe she should run back and get his jacket for when she found him.

“Nice night for a walk,” Maddie jumped at the voice to find Phantom lazily floating in the air above her. His posture was casual but his eyes were sharp, searching as he always was. Green eyes glanced at her gun before meeting her eyes. “Looking for someone? Perhaps chasing someone who doesn’t want to found?” No way was she going to let him know her son was out here, alone and vulnerable.

“You actually,” she lied. He raised a disbelieving eyebrow but didn’t call her out. How could he be so expressive and so hard to read all at once? Against her better judgement, she thought again about the ghost as a human. “You called me Mom earlier, I want to know why.”

“What, you’ve never called someone something dumb by mistake?” Phantom flinched, crossing his arms defensively. “It was an accident, I’m just as upset as you are, believe me. Now if you don’t mind, I was trying to have a nice flight to clear my mind. Good luck finding whoever you were really looking for.”

“My husband thinks you’re pretending to be alive, that you’re lying to the town, going to school.” She searched his face for some sign that she was wrong but his expression was still as stone. “You’re putting people in jeopardy, I thought you wanted to play the hero!”

“I’m not doing anything,” He growled, his eyes flashing ominously in the dark. “I’m just doing the best I can, okay? If I go to the Nasty Burger or sit in on English Poetry when there’s no ghosts to fight then who’s hurt? Only me for trying to hang onto something real, something normal!”

“But the ghosts-”

“News flash! The ghosts would be here with or without me because of your stupid portal! I can’t even legally drive and yet you blame me for everything.” He scoffed and looked away, “you really are just like my mother.”

“So I do remind you of her,” she stated. “Your mother.”

“That’s a great thing to say to some kid you shoot at regularly,” Phantom said, icily, his green gaze boring into her over his shoulder. “What do you want me to say? Yeah, you do. It’s not just your voice or your face but the way you look at me like I’m nothing but a disappointment. How you make me feel like I’m some damaged child you need to hammer into shape.”

“You can’t - I’m not disappointed,” she said before she could think otherwise because how else could she react to such a charged statement? What kind of abusive, miserable home had he come from? Her heart clenched again to be compared to this woman.

“Yeah, I can tell,” Phantom snapped at her sarcastically but, like the time when he’d called her a bad mother, underneath the anger was sadness. “None of this matters, we’re both going to keep doing our own thing without each other’s approval. We’re enemies so let’s just forget this all happened and go back to you shooting at me while I beg for you just stop and listen for one second-”

“Alright, I’m listening!” Maddie shouted back, frustrated and sympathetic against her better judgement. “What is it you want to tell me so bad?” Phantom froze, like he hadn’t expected her to just stop like that. His shoulders hunched and his eyes were wide and he looked so much like a lost teenager that it pulled painfully at her heart. God, why did this one ghost bring out so many contradictory feelings in her?

“I want,” he stopped, swallowed and floated to the ground so they were near eye level. Sometime in the last year, he’d gotten taller than her. She hadn’t realized ghosts could grow, could age. Phantom was always the exception to every rule they had. “I want the same thing you want. I don’t like seeing ghosts coming through and hurting people. Before I was Phantom, I was nobody, I couldn’t help anyone. I can now and keeping people safe, it gives me a purpose I didn’t even have when I was human. Ghosts might just be the untethered remnants of dead people but we still love and feel and value things, just differently than you do. I want to keep ghosts from attacking people but without damaging them, we’re not all evil just... trying to find our own way to the finish line. If you’d just, not attack on sight, I could show you.”

It was perhaps the most she’d heard Phantom say all at once. He was rubbing his gloved fingers anxiously against his thigh and there was a desperate bit of want in his tragically young face. He wanted her to believe him, like a child looking to their mother for approval. As more time stretched on without her speaking, his hopeful look fell into a kind of sad acceptance. He looked like Danny had at the kitchen table not 15 minutes before.

“Okay,” she said finally. “We can give it a try for a bit. It’s not a truce exactly but so long as you’re not causing harm, Jack and I won’t shoot at you.” It wasn’t much but the boy looked like he’d handed her the moon and then some. He floated up a little, his boots jittered with excitement. She gaped when he reached forward and grasped her hand only to shake it enthusiastically. His hand was chilled but solid in her own.

“Yeah, you got a deal! Don’t worry, Mo- Ma’am you won’t have to worry about me, I’ll be a good little ghost, scouts honor! not that I was, uh, ever in the scouts. If things go well, I’d be happy to tell you more about ghosts and the Zone. I’ll even give you a tour if you’d like.” His smile was infectious and she bit her lip to resist the natural urge to smile back.

Maybe Phantom was a ghost, a sad child who’d died far too young but he was also someone’s son. That woman, however, hadn’t been able to protect him, to support him. Maybe it wouldn’t hurt to give the ghost boy a chance and maybe Maddie could fill in something his other mother couldn’t. Perhaps she could even learn how to give her own children what they needed too.

“We’ll see,” Maddie hummed. “Now, you were going to go flying and I need to find my son before he catches his death, that is, if he’ll even talk to me.”

“He will,” Phantom said softly. “My mom messed up, hurt me sometimes but I knew she loved me and I love her. I don’t know your son but I do know what it’s like to be a son and your mom is... whether you’re living, dead or in-between, she’s always your mom. Maybe he’s worried you won’t love him, the things he’s done or believes in.” He looked away and rubbed the back of his neck, “Of course, I don’t really know you and your family. Usually try and avoid you guys, being ghost hunters and all. Even your daughter is pretty scary.”

“That would be pretty weird, a ghost surrounded by hunters,” her lips twitched upwards despite herself as she imagined Phantom chatting with Jack and Jazz in the living room. The image wasn’t quite as strange as she’d initially thought. Who knows where this shaky truce would lead them? Phantom took that as his excuse to leave and flew off into the night. Maddie watched him go, she started up the block when she got a series of texts a few minutes later.

Danny: I’m home, sorry for running off like that Danny: I don’t like the way you talk about ghosts the way some people talk about race or gender. I want to make opinions based on facts and understanding, not half baked theories Danny: I’d be willing to talk more, if you’d stop being so stubbornly certain you’re right and just listened for a change Danny: I love you, Mom I don’t think I say that enough. Sometimes I feel scared to, like you won’t understand Danny: Jazz came down and Dad brought out the special fudge Danny: Come home, its cold out

Maddie brought her phone to her lips, looking up in the sky as if she might see Phantom still flying around. That boy still loved his mother, the mother who’d hurt him. She didn’t want to be like Phantom’s mom: distant, cruel, unwilling to listen. If she could hold out an olive branch for her enemy, then she certainly could for her son.

Mom: I love you too, baby, never doubt that. I think I'm ready to listen now. Mom: I’m on my way home, save some fudge for me.

I am waiting for you, for an interval, somewhere very near, Just around the corner. All is well.

#danny phantom #my writing #this seriously came out of nowhere #it took several twists as it just kind of unfurled underneath me #was halfheartedly searching poems about death when I foung this one #it just jumped out like lightning to me #that even though death and circumstance have seperate Maddie and Danny #they're still connected #still mother and son for good or ill #there's love there and a chance for renewal #idk Im just tired #this has been written for like 3 hours its just taken me this damn long to edit

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