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loving-all-for-loki · 3 years

Note

Your writing is so wonderful! Could I maybe request something comforting? I’m currently recovering from a surgery to repair my foot with bone anchors and I’ll be bed ridden for 6 weeks. Maybe something with Loki being very supportive and caring for the reader 24/7, moving into her room etc. and the team are just surprised at how helpful he’s being to her. 🤗.

A/N: I’m sorry if I posted this at a weird time, but I have the next chapter to my series Voiceless Love coming out and I wanted to give this fic some time to be seen before that got posted. It’s also a little short, but I felt like this was perfect as a short and sweet fic, instead of a 2k+ story, haha. Also, I know it isn’t 100% exactly what you wanted, but I get stuck with one idea and run with it, oops. I hope you are getting better with your foot. That stinks so much and I’ve been there with my own ankle injuries. If you have any requests for some fics while you recover, send them my way! I always need some inspo and if I can give you some entertainment during your recovery, that would be great. Now, read this, get some sleep, and drink some water. I hope you heal nicely <3

Lucky

Loki x reader

Word count: 1533

Warnings: Pure fluff, just fluff, fluffiness, maybe a bit of sexualizing Loki (I couldn’t help myself)

Seeing your friends carrying big heavy boxes for you swells your heart. It’s also hilarious to see Thor actually struggling to carry something. Tony finds it amusing too given that he’s not doing any of the work but it’s sipping mimosas next to you. Thor grumbles about getting all the heavy boxes, but you also know Sam and Bucky purposely avoid the big ones.

If someone were to tell you ten years ago that you’d be saved from getting tortured by Hydra and become an Avenger, you’d tell them they’re delusional, but this is your life. Even after years of torture and pain, you considered yourself lucky. You could have been the new Soldat, ruined over and over again to be a war machine, but now you’re a trained assassin like Bucky and Nat with a broken leg.

You lean yourself against a wall in your room with your crutches beside you (along with Tony, of course, that lazy bum). Steve, Bucky, and Thor are carrying in boxes while Sam, Nat, and Peter help unpack some things. Today is the day you officially move into the tower with the rest of your teammates and due to your current disability, the other avengers offered to help you. Another reason why you consider yourself lucky.

Peter is by far the most adorable on the team. He’s fully unpacking for you, even arranging the frames on your shelves and the organizers on your desk. He at point made your bed when Steve brought in your blankets and sheets. Bucky has been super sweet, too, giving you funny looks every time he passes by and asking where the best spot for the box he is carrying to go.

But the one “avenger” you didn’t expect to be as helpful as he is, is Loki. The others told him to move out of the way, not wanting his condescending attitude to ruin the fun day, but Loki started to carry boxes in as well. The first time, the avengers were stunned by him, but then they were gracious because he used his magic to transport them, making the job go by quicker. Loki just stands at the bottom of the truck outside and wipes his hand over each cardboard box, sending it to your room.

You really are lucky.

Two days pass by and you decide to ignore your laziness and finally unpack the rest of your boxes. You attempt to push some photo boxes on the top of your shelves, but you find yourself stretching so hard to reach the top. Your foot injury really is stupid and you just want to be able to normal walk, or jump, or even go on your tip toes.

Then you hear a sly chuckle coming from behind you. You let out a frustrated sign knowing exactly who it is.

“Loki, if you’re going to stand there and laugh at me, could you least help me and laugh at me?”

“Of course, darling.” He jokes.

He comes up behind you and takes the box from your struggling fingertips and carefully paces it on top of the shelf.

“Is there anything else you helpless being needs help with?”

“I could use help with hanging my window curtains.”

You point to the box in the corner with your large sheer curtains folded in them. He chuckles and goes over the box, carefully picking them up and hanging them on the frame. You can’t help but notice his figure as he hangs them. He is a marvelous being and who are you to deny your eyes of such a sight?

The sight in front of you proved that you are lucky

Tony gathers the group for a game night and it results in everyone becoming drunk and children. At some point, it becomes a truth or drink game night and everyone has their poison. You have your legs laid over Loki’s lap, who was really hard to convince to join the game, and a bottle of Smirnoff Ice in your hand, only because Tony didn’t have anything else. Loki’s slowly running his fingers over your legs, but higher than your cast.

“Okay, Steve,” Natasha coos, “your turn. Have you ever done drugs?”

“I did marijuana in high school once.”

The whole team gasps and whistles at his answer.

“Captain ain’t so wholesome, now, is he?” Sam cackles.

“I remember that night,” Bucky laughs, “You were so high.”

Steve chuckles and nods his head before looking to see you cuddled up next to Loki and gets a wicked idea.

“Loki, you’ve been quiet. Your turn.”

“Please no, I’m beyond your little games.”

“Aw come on, brother! One question won’t hurt you,” Thor laughs.

“Who in this room would ever kiss?”

Tony whistles and takes a sip of his drink as everyone else laughs. You can feel the ice giant get slightly warm out of embarrassment. His face is flushed with a rose pink color as you get nervous, lightly chuckling to himself.

“I uh…”

“Answer it. Answer it. Answer it.” Sam chants.

Everyone chuckles at the clear uncomfortableness of the god, not seeing him like this often.

“Y/N.” He whispers, almost too quiet for you to even hear.

“Louder, brother. I couldn’t hear you,” Thor says innocently.

“Y/N.”

You smile up at Loki in shock. He won’t look down to meet your eyes but stares straight out the window past Tony. The entire team cheers and chuckles.

“Oh, we’re never letting that one down.”

“How lucky am I?” You laugh.

You attempt to cook yourself some lunch but your stupid cast is getting in the way of moving around. It’s getting tiring to pick up your crutches every time you need a tool two feet away from you. Letting out a frustrated sigh, you hit the edge of the counter with the spatula in your hand.

“What is wrong, dearest?”

You turn your head to see Loki standing behind you with a concerned look on his face, this time not here to make fun of you.

“I’m tired of my stupid foot getting in the way of doing normal activities.”

“Darling, sit down. I’ll make lunch for you.”

“Loki, you really-”

“I know I don’t have to, but I want to.”

Loki picks you up and sets you down on the couch while also handing you the remote. He goes to the kitchen and attempts to resume your lunch.

“Sweetest, what are you cooking?”

You laugh really hard at his confusion.

“Fajitas.”

“What are those?”

“See Loki, it’s fine! You really don’t have to.”

“And I’m not going to. I’ll make Stark do it.”

Loki orders JARVIS to get Tony and finish making lunch for you. You laugh and shake your head at Loki as he sits down beside you on the couch. He starts to run his fingers through your hair but keeps getting caught in the tangles.

“Why is your hair like this?”

“It’s hard to do anything while standing up. I can barely brush my teeth without falling over.”

“Well, it looks like I’ll do that for you, too.”

“Loki, I swear if you-”

“No point in arguing. I’m going to assist you.”

You rolls your eyes at the cocky god as he smiles at you. Nuzzling your head into his neck, Loki holds you tightly in an embrace. Tony comes in to see you two cuddling and shakes his head.

“You are so lucky we love you.”

You wake up the next day to see Loki sleeping beside you on your bed. You try to remember anything that happened last night, but you were so tired, nothing comes to mind. If you didn’t have a broken foot, you would be concerned about waking up next to a god, but you also know he wouldn’t have done anything with your injury. He’s too kind (much to some disbelief).

“Good morning, darling.”

Loki leans over to you and kisses you on the forehead. He wasn’t as asleep as you thought he was, but you’re not complaining. Waking up beside this adonis isn’t the worst way to spend a morning.

“Good morning.”

“I don’t care what you say,” Loki smiles, brushing a piece of your hair behind your ear, “you’re staying in bed and I’m waiting on you.”

“That’s very sweet. Thank you.”

“I’m glad someone learned something last night.”

“Actually, I don’t remember a lot from last night. I was tired.”

“We bickered about me waiting on you, hand and foot.”

“Hmm, that sounds about right.”

“So, today I’m treating you like a proper princess.”

“Does that mean we’re together?”

Loki looks at you confused, but his face lights up when he realizes what you’re implying.

“I suppose so. In that case, my princess, I will wait on you.”

You watched as the god all day served you lunch and dinner. He brushed your hair and teeth. Helped you change clothes. Played your music to cheer you up. Even carried you to the bathroom when you had to go.

Thinking about all the things your friends have done for you and all of the things that Loki, your prince, has done, all you can say is how lucky you are.

#loki fluff #loki fanfic #loki fan fiction #loki laufeyson #loki #loki x reader #loki x reader fluff #loki oneshot #marvel x reader #anonrequest #lovingallforloki

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alwaysahiccupandastrid · 3 years

Text

How Bad is Sia’s “Music” really?

I watched it illegally (because there was no way I was paying for that bullshit) and found out. It’s not as bad as we thought... It’s worse.

TW for ableism, Sia, drugs, alcohol, just in general a terrible movie, meltdowns, blackface

Literally the first thing you hear while they’re showing the production companies is THOSE stereotypical noises. If you’ve seen the trailer, you’ll know what I mean.

And yes, she does this for the WHOLE fucking movie

What was the need to show her in her underwear? Maddie Ziegler was 14 when this was made, so what was the need??? And why did Sia prolong the scene by having her hitting herself?

Less than a minute in and my reaction was already “what the fuck is this shit?”

So the opening number not only had stereotypical exaggerated facial expression, it has Maddie in BLACKFACE?!? And with culturally appropriated hair?!?

The exaggerated facial expressions are literally constant and I took photos during the film to show it, more later, but I’ll keep mentioning it

ITS LITERALLY THE WHOLE FUCKING TIME SHE IS ON SCREEN

Even her way of walking is fucking offensive, Jesus Christ

The vocalisations just had me cringing so hard, I cannot describe how awful it made me feel

Why do all the neighbours need to be paid off and help her when she goes for a walk? I don’t-

Yes, by about the five minute mark I was already seriously debating all my life decisions. It was that bad.

Kate Hudson really didn’t give a fuck that her grandma died

I will keep saying it but WHY are the facial expressions/vocalisations CONSTANT?!! Literally they do not stop at all. I work with a child who is actually similar to this in that he’s nonverbal and he makes similar noises/faces, but the way they’re in this movie is so over-exaggerated?!? And even the kid I work with doesn’t do it 24/7?!?

Sia, calling your characters Zu and Music doesn’t make them interesting in the slightest. They’re still painfully terrible and one dimensional

Literally ONE minute after being left alone with her autistic sister, Zu calls the mental health service asking if they could “theoretically” “pick up” her sister?!? Like she wants to get rid of her already?!?

“A magical little girl” - autism isn’t a magical power?!? And Music is a young woman, not a little girl?!? Why are you infantilising her?!?

Okay I’m not being funny but this choreography is NOT hard. ANYONE can do it, so claiming that you needed to hire a dancer to be Music because of the numbers is literally bullshit (and even so, there are so many amazing autistic actors and dancers?!?)

20 minutes in and I wanted to give up

So she had her first meltdown because her hair didn’t get braided immediately and that’s... certainly interesting??

The fact that Leslie Odom’s character says “I’m going to crush you now”?!?

AND THEN HE FUCKING PICKS HER UP AND FULL-BODILY PINS HER DOWN ONTO THE FLOOR

“I’m crushing her with my love” - oh fuck you, just fuck you

So Sia lied, the restraint scenes were NOT removed and there was no warning. She’s a fucking POS liar

I have no idea why he’s called Ebo or why he has such a cliche African accent?!? I might have missed out on why because I was busy trying not to bang my head into the table while I watched this film but just... yikes

“He (his brother) liked to be held” - YEAH, HELD. NOT FUCKING CRUSHED

“He is dead now” - IM NOT FUCKING SURPRISED IF YOU CRUSHED HIM LIKE THAT

The constant babying and patronizing of the autistic character is so exhausting to watch. I’m so tired

“Planning on sending her to the people pound but I guess I’ll keep her a little longer” - SHE WAS JOKING BUT THAT WAS NOT EVEN REMOTELY A FUNNY JOKE. NOT EVEN IN AN AWKWARD WAY

STOP THE FACES IM-

^ YEAH, Sia, totally a fucking love letter to the autistic community here ^

So Zu finds this necklace she made as a kid that had a little dog on it, and she says to Music, “He had seizures too, just like you”... MELTDOWNS AND SEIZURES ARE NOT EVEN REMOTELY THE SAME FUCK THIS MOVIE-

It’s like Sia is trying to make the movie funny but it’s really not at all

Is Zu implying that Music is autistic because the mum was a junkie?!?

For real though, the dialogue in general is so fucking awful and cringey. Whoever wrote this should never be allowed to write again

Did she seriously leave her autistic sister alone to talk to who I’m presuming was her dealer or loan shark?!?

Also why is he - a white dude - wearing cornrows?!?

So who is the film really about? The autistic girl or the older sister saviour? I think we all know the answer to that one

WHY IS SHE WALKING AROUND WITH HER TEETH JUTTING OUT LIKE THAT ALL THE TIME

The musical numbers are literally so painful to watch. The overly bright colours, the flashing... my eyes were hurting and so was my brain

Autism representation aside for a second, the musical numbers/choreography are all fucking atrocious. Ditto for the costumes

LIKE WHAT THE FUCK WERE THE PINK OOMPA LOOMPA FRUIT THINGS?!? THEY LOOK LIKE THE PINK VERSIONS OF VIOLET BEAUREGARDE THE BLUEBERRY

I wanted to cry by this point, this movie is far more awful than I thought

“I’m not saying she doesn’t want to change, I’m saying she can’t” - FUCK YOU. Why is it okay for him to assume what she can or can’t do

Can I just say that autistic people aren’t constantly in a coked up wonderland state?!! We don’t see the world as a wonderland fantasy world 24/7?!!

“She can hear you from two rooms away” / *shows her listening through two brick walls to a conversation* — Also, we don’t have super fucking sonic hearing?? WE CANT HEAR THROUGH FUCKING BRICK WALLS?!?

“She can understand everything you’re saying to her” - she’s autistic not fucking deaf

Less than 45 minutes in, there’s another meltdown in the park

“I’m not climbing on top of a small screaming white girl in public” - yeah please fucking don’t

So Zu fucking pins her down with her weight 🤦‍♀️

“She doesn’t know who she’s hitting” - IM SORRY WHAT

EBO LITERALLY SAID “TREAT HER LIKE A BEAR” when talking her through the prone restraint, I fucking CANNOT

“Tell her she’s safe” - NOT IF YOU FUCKING RESTRAIN HER LIKE THAT SHE IS NOT

The fact that she gets up, smiling and happy after a meltdown and immediately is excited to get a snow cone... I can honestly say that after a meltdown, I am in no way happy or smiling. I am often not very verbal and I’m withdrawn/not myself for at least several hours, usually the rest of the day. Fuck this film

This film is literally just about Zu, and Music is there for a plot device to give her character development. That’s all she’s there for.

Love how Sia shoehorned Zu being suicidal in there. You know, just to try and make her more easy to sympathize with (it doesn’t work)

This film is literally just a 1 hour 47 minute Sia music video with ZERO plot

WHY WERE THEY WEARING PILLOW DIAPERS IN ONE NUMBER-

I really did not feel into the side plot with that guy who was fighting but it was still better than the actual movie so...

I am SO DONE with the NON STOP CONSTANT vocal shit. So tired.

LOJ’s only role in this film is to be the stereotypical wise black guy who assists a white woman’s story. There’s like hardly any other depth there

The Ebo/Zu romance is so fucking stupid and pointless and out of NOWHERE. I couldn’t even tell if they were into each other or not

I was already so bored of the musical numbers by this point. They added NOTHING to the plot but they pretended they did, and I was so over it. And it’s not because I’m not “creative enough” or anything to understand, I love musicals and I think it could have been cool if done right... but it wasn’t. They were a mess. It’s just bad.

Sia really tried to pretend her movie was deep but really it’s a shallow mess

So Zu is meeting rich drug clients and says to Music “try not to have one of your freak outs up there” and “if you could try to get it out now”... FUCKING YIKES. It’s not an on/off button, shut the fuck up

YEP THIS WAS THE SIA CAMEO FUCK THAT BITCH

The fact that she just calls “DRUG DEALER?!? DRUG DEALER IS THAT YOU”, fucking end this please-

I fucking hate this bitch I’m dead serious

“We’re gonna send them to Haiti cause there’s been an earthquake. All these buildings fell down, children’s bones were dislocated” - WHY WAS SHE SO CHEERFUL ABOUT IT

“Gonna buy a shit load of pain meds, gonna but them on my private plane” - FUCKYOUFUCKYOUFUCKYOU

“Pop stars without borders” - Sia thinks she’s so clever but I would give anything to punch her I swear-

ANOTHER MUSICAL NUMBER JUST STOP IM BEGGING YOU

There’s this awkward conversation/bit with Zu and her drug dealer/loanshark about his outfit that was clearly meant to be funny but was just flat and painful

Yep, Sia really showed Music eating chewing gum off the underside of a park bench. Of course.

Look, the kid I work with does similar stuff by putting literally anything and everything in his mouth but like... why would you put that in your movie?

And there’s no indication before this that Music puts everything and anything in her mouth, she just randomly decides to get on her knees, under the bench and eat chewing gum, like she calculates that it’s there and gets it???

She has a THIRD meltdown after an allergic reaction to a bee sting and her sister just yells at her before realizing... I’m not here for this movie, I feel like I drifted off and was not really there

So Zu got angry because she left the drugs at the park but she’s not that upset that her sister had an allergic reaction???

Zu gets absolutely drunk because a) she lost Sia’s drugs and b) she’s stressed out by her autistic sister... wow, great message, Sia!

She really fucked off and left her sister alone to go clubbing/on a bender

The less said about the musical number here the better

Sia’s movie also checks the box of having stereotypical Asian parents, specifically stereotypical Asian dad being harsh/angry and hitting his wife!

ALSO HE PUSHED AND KILLED HIS SON WTF IS HAPPENING

Less than 3 minutes after the last, there’s a musical number that I think was about this side character going to heaven... another shitty Sia-esque number

The patterns during the number made my brain hurt.

Also there are so many autistic actors who can also dance, and yet Sia chose the neurotypical one because ✨ N E P O T I S M ✨

I just want to know how it was deemed necessary to show the fact the autistic character peed/wet herself? I mean... ??? It’s just so undignified and not at all necessary to the plot. Nothing happens after that, it just moves onto the next scene and it didn’t do anything

“I have no one” - 1) YOUR FUCKING SISTER. 2) GEE I FUCKING WONDER WHY, couldn’t be that you’re a shitty human being?!?

There’s a scene where Music is walking and she does ALL the stereotypical behaviours at once... just YIKES

Zu somehow stopped another meltdown just by grabbing Music by the shoulders and sitting her down???

Aaand yep. Another shitty musical number

Zu really goes to put her sister in a fucking facility and claims it’ll be “better for her” - BULLSHIT. Better for Zu, maybe, not Music.

Ah yes - the girl who the characters have said has problems with routines being changed/change in general... you’re now going to fuck up her routine by dumping her in a facility. Perfect Plan.

The nonverbal autistic girl suddenly speaking to say “don’t go” - you can just predict it from the off, can’t you?

Love that as soon as Music starts talking, Zu is like “fuck it, I’ll keep her!”

Zu really went and crashed Ebo’s brothers wedding... in a fucking bralette... YIKES

“I almost gave Music away” - SHE IS NOT A DOG YOU DONT GIVE PEOPLE AWAY

“We should sing a song” - PLEASE DO FUCKING NOT

Also that kiss/romance montage between Zu and Ebo was the CRINGIEST fucking shit ever

This movie seems to be implying that Music has locked in syndrome or something, like she’s locked in her own head or whatever it’s called, and I just... *sigh*

Oh and now Music magically fucking sings in a room FULL of strangers... this is literally embarrassing, please let this end

I mean it, this movie was fucking painful to watch on ever level

She got a service dog puppy which... okay?

Oh look, it’s the only decent song on the soundtrack but with an absolutely shitty over-stimulatory music video with the credits!

I can only name 5 characters in this film. Maybe 7 at a push, but even then I would be guessing

AND YEP SHE THANKED AUTISM SPEAKS OVER THE CREDITS. FUCK YOU SIA 🖕🏻

Let me reiterate: this is a movie about a neurotypical former drug addict whose character development comes from the autistic character, from having an autistic sister she has to take care of. I’m so tired.

We are NOT plot devices or tools for character development. Not once does anyone in this film treat Music like a human being - she’s treated as a burden, a problem, and then like a pet that they decide to keep. Not once is the film focused on how she is feeling - it’s always about Zu or Ebo. The performance itself was so over exaggerated and it made me want to cry when I watched it because this is how the world sees us, and this movie will make it ten times worse. It’s stuff like this that made me think “I don’t want to be labelled as autistic because people will think I’m a certain way”, that made me wait so long before going to the GP to get a referral.

As I said, poor autistic representation aside, the movie is just so appallingly bad. It truly is one of the worst films I’ve watched. If you’re going to watch it, please don’t - or, if you want to because you want to see how bad it is/to raise awareness/critical posts, at least do it illegally. Do not give Sia your money.

#sia #music #music 2021 #music movie #autism #tw ableism #tw meltdown #tw blackface #anti sia #lol sia

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kiirokero · 3 years

Text

Nepenthe (KTH)

Nepenthe: A drug used to induce forgetfulness of pain or sorrow; something capable of causing oblivion of grief or suffering.

Part of the “Protect the Village!” Oneshot Series!

Masterlist

Pairing: Baker!Taehyung x Reader

Genre: Fluff, angst if you squint, romance...? Reader has troubles with their emotions and TaeTae tries to help them, ft. a blonde smug Jimin,

Note: Time to sleep. Catch up on writing :)

Summary: Mama always said that sweets give you cavities. But she didn’t warn you about the boy who makes them. Or, having an insatiable sweet tooth has left you spending much of your time in Taehyung’s bakery. But nobody prepared you for the feelings your cold heart caught.

Word Count: 2.4k

Contrary to popular belief, you did have feelings. You felt happy, sad, angry. You were human. But people tended to forget that. Whether it was because you were academically intelligent or you were just an easy target, you were used to... Well, getting used.

You were often the cash cow. The dead horse everyone thought was entertaining to beat. The goose with the golden egg and no farmer would leave you alone before you popped out the next solid gold money maker. And when you gave in and gave them what they wanted, you were the one left behind, high and dry.

Years of being treated like this in college left you emotionally unavailable. You opted to protect yourself from the hurt you felt by not allowing yourself to feel at all. You had built up your walls so thick that you barely allowed yourself to even feel happy half of the time. Many people tried to break down the brick hell you’d banished yourself to, but gave up when the stone didn’t relent. But it's not like you care, right?

You didn’t care that you had nobody to voice your worries to late at night when the self doubting thoughts plagued your mind. You didn’t care that people avoided you because of your frigid nature that left the happy little people in Bangtan Village uncomfortable. So what if you didn’t have anyone to catch you when you fell? You didn’t need anybody.

You just needed your comfort foods.

Yes, maybe it was an unhealthy habit to drown your self hating thoughts in the taste of sugar and cinnamon. Maybe anyone looking into the state of your mental health would cringe at the way you personally dealt with it. Who cares? This was your life and you would live it however the hell you wanted to. You were tired of others dictating you.

So you often found yourself at “Kim’s Confections” sitting in the corner, looking out with window while you ate your danish and sipped your tea. Every single day, whether the sun was up or down, you sat in the same seat, at the same bakery. You changed up the pastry, of course, you could only eat danishes for 3 days straight at most. But the routine of visiting the small shop was one thing that never changed.

As leaves fells and winter came, you visited the bakery. As rain fell and flower bloomed, you visited the bakery. You like the atmosphere the bakery gave off. The aroma of sugar and bread that wafted through the air made your body feel like jello as you could easily fall asleep to the smell. The small wooden tables that were scattered around made the shop feel more personal. The food that never failed to melt in your mouth calmed any tension that seeped into your bones.

But one thing about the bakery that didn’t calm you down was the owner himself.

Kim Taehyung.

Nothing was wrong with Taehyung, per se. He was an attractive guy who always had a friendly, boxy smile on his face. He had beautiful brunette hair and majestic auburn eyes. His skin was always shining, 24/7, always looking like he walked off the cover of a magazine. Even if you gave off a cold, icy aura that screamed “Don’t talk to me,” he never once failed to give you a smile and a warm welcome.

No, you were never purposely mean to Taehyung. You never snapped at him or showed any sort of distaste towards him, because you didn’t have any. He just confused you. Normal people would stop trying to be nice to you by now. Most people would take your less-than enthusiastic responses as rudeness or dislike. Not Taehyung though.

You often asked yourself what was up with him. I mean, who would look at you and think, “Yeah, I’ll give the snow queen a shot,” Nobody. Except Kim Taehyung, apparently. Without fail Taehyung tried to initiate conversations between the two of you that would last more than a few one words answers (Mostly from your side,) He would ask how your day was or what you did over the weekend. To which you would respond with “Good” or “Nothing,”

It’s not that you didn’t want to talk to the guy. He just made you feel... Weird. His smile made your heart quicken. His laugh made your cheeks heat up. Whenever he had his eyes on you, your hands would turn clammy. It just made you feel... uncomfortable. You were used to feeling 2 things, “Bleh,” and “What am I doing with my life,” not some odd feeling of quickened hearts and clammy hands.

But alas, no matter how much you wished to banish the invasive feeling all together, your sweet tooth needed to be satiated. So here you were, standing in front of “Kim’s Confections,” Walking in and chiming the small little bell that hung above the door. The familiar sight of wooden chairs and the glass display case full of confections filled your eyes. But there at the counter was the man himself.

“Hello Y/n! Welcome back!” Taehyung said with a smile on his face, enthusiasm laced in his voice. “Hello,” You said, sounding dead compared to his lively way of speech. “What will it be today, sweetcheeks?” Taehyung smirked, resting his head on his hand as he leaned over the counter. “Don’t call me that,” You said, not liking the heat that made its way onto your face the moment he called you “Sweetcheeks,”

Taehyung chuckled, saying nothing, just gesturing to the glass case of goodies. Taking a look, you noticed your favorite was in stock today. Red velvet cupcakes. “That one, please,” You said, pointing at the mouth-watering pastry. “Coming right up, sweecheeks,” Taehyung smiled. You decided to ignore the endearing nickname, instead trying your best to cool down the heat on the tips of your ears and apples of your cheeks.

Taehyung grabbed the cupcake and put it on a plate for you, sliding it towards you as you handed him the money you’d already fished out of your wallet. “Thanks,” You mumbled, grabbing the plate off of the counter. “Anything for you,” Taehyung smirked. You didn’t say anything else to him as you went to your corner to eat your cupcake.

Hateful to me as the gates of Hades is that man who hides one thing in his heart and speaks another.

You’ve read The Iliad a thousand times before. You know how the adventure ends and what the climax of the story will be. You knew what happened to the characters, and you were well versed in the outdated way of speech. But that didn’t mean you appreciated the interruption of a certain blonde haired male. “What Jimin?” You groaned, putting down your well-worn book, glaring at the man in front of you. “Ah you wound me, Y/n. I just wanted to see you is all,” Jimin shrugged.

“See me? Dumb move,” You countered back, face unchanging. Jimin just chuckled, shaking his head with a smile. “You know, I was talking to Taehyung and he said you barely speak a word to him. That’s surprising since your with him every day,” Jimin smirked, swiping off some stray frosting that laid on your plate and putting it in his mouth. “I have nothing to say,” You said, turning to look outside the window.

Jimin scoffed, “I find that hard to believe. Tae can make anyone talk, do you not like him?” He asked, tilting his head to the side. “I didn’t say that,” Was your immediate answer, debunking Jimin’s dumb theory. “Well, you kinda did,” Jimin teased. “He makes me feel weird,” You admitted, unable to face the man in front of you.

“He makes you feel weird?” Jimin asked, confused.

“He makes my palms clammy and face hot. He’a like a witch or something,” You sighed.

You didn’t know Jimin, no. Jimin was one of Taehyung’s friends who tried even harder than him to get on your “Good side,” When in reality, there was no good side. You were just in a perpetual state of saying “Cool,” and throwing up peace signs at everything life threw at you. So no, you weren’t Jimin’s friend.

So the unimpressed, disdained face you gave him when he burst out laughing at your words wasn’t entirely unwarranted.

“Oh my goodness, you’re funny,” Jimin chuckled out. “What did I say?” You asked. “You have a crush on Tae!” Jimin whisper shouted. Your eyes widened, and you flicked his forehead. “What are we? Twelve? A crush? That’s preschool shit,” You seethed, not allowing yourself to believe what Jimin was saying. “Woah, calm down Y/n. Crushes are normal,” Jimin explained, right before Taehyung came up to grab your empty plate for you.

“Did you enjoy the cupcake?” Taehyung said in his deep baritone voice that made goosebumps rise on your skin. You nodded your head yes, avoiding looking right into his eyes. “I’m glad,” Taehyung whispered to you, giving you a smile as he walked back to the kitchen with your plate. You watched him go the whole way.

“Scratch that, your head over heels,” Jimin spoke up, and you whipped your head around to glare at him. “Shut it,” You spoke through gritted teeth, gathering your book and purse, standing up to leave. “I don’t have a crush. That’s childish,” You countered, but Jimin just gave you a knowing look, a smirk plastered on his face.

You never missed a day to visit the bakery. But maybe you should’ve today. It was pouring outside. Thunder rumbled through the air and lighting flashed through the sky. You were without an umbrella or anything to protect you from the rainy onslaught that was happening outside the shop.

Sighing, you flipped through the pages of The Iliad. You had just finished the story another time, and the epic was still too fresh in your mind to begin reading again. So you sat in your corner, listening to the pounding of rain that rammed against the shop windows.

“It’s pouring out there, huh?”

Taehyung’s soft, deep voice cut through the rain ambiance that filled the tiny shop. You nodded, tearing your eyes away from him and suppressing the thoughts of his muscular figure from your mind. “Do you have someone coming to pick you up? I don’t want you walking out in that,” He asked, coming to sit in the seat in front of you.

“I don’t,” You answered, avoiding his gaze. “Really? No boyfriend coming to sweep you off of your feet?” He chuckled. You shrugged, picking at the edges of your book. “I’m not girlfriend material,” You sighed, finally looking up to meet his gaze. “Not girlfriend material?” Taehyung asked, furrowing his eyebrows. “I just have too much baggage, I guess,” You shrugged.

Taehyung chuckled, “Everyone has baggage, Y/n,” Was his answer, looking right into your eyes with his deep auburn ones. “I guess,” You mumbled. The two of you sat in silence for a couple of minutes, just listening to the sound of the rain outside as the two of you just enjoyed each other’s presence without the other knowing it.

“I think you’re girlfriend material,” Taehyung spoke up suddenly, startling you out of the thoughts that swirled around your mind. “Ha ha,” You sarcastically laughed, but Taehyung doubled down. “I’m serious, Y/n,” He said, leaning forward on the table. “No I’m not,” You argued, shaking your head at what you believed was a ridiculous claim.

“Why do you think that?” Taehyung asked, but you didn’t respond, feeling the walls you meticulously built start to crumble. That scared you. You’ve always been focused on others trying to force your walls down, but you never thought about what it would be like for someone to urge you to bring them down yourself. To want to willing talk about the thoughts that plagued your mind. To let someone cozy up with you inside your walls. It was scary how you wanted to talk to Taehyung.

You didn’t know what it was about Taehyung that made you want to let him in and turn your hell into a sanctuary. Maybe it was because he was always so nice. Or maybe it was because he made the best comfort food you’d every have. Whatever it was about him, he was starting to get through to you, and it scared you more than you’d like to admit. So you shut down.

Taehyung kept asking you why you thought that or what made you think that you were any less than amazing, but you just kept shaking your not wanting to open your mouth in fear that you’d spill out all of your emotions like a hangover full of regrets and puke.

You heard Taehyung sigh as he got up from the chair. You felt your heart squeeze at the thought of him finally giving up on you. You knew it was a bit selfish to expect him to stick around after you gave him no reason to, but it still hurt. You were so out of tune with your emotions that you had a hard time identifying what was what.

Was this disappointment? It’s been a long time old friend.

Was Jimin right? Am I in love? Is this what love feels like?

A hand placed a plate with a cinnamon roll on it in front of you. The aroma of cinnamon filled your nose, and you cracked a small smile at it. Taehyung sat back down in the seat in front of you, giving you a warm smile. “You don’t have to push yourself to answer,” Taehyung spoke up, “I don’t know exactly how you feel, but my friend, Yoongi, is like you.” He smiled as you took a bite of the cinnamon roll. “He says that talking to others about feelings is a monumental task, so don’t feel obligated to answer my question. You have your walls for a reason, Y/n. It’s up to you if you want to let me in. But I will say, I’m waiting at the door with cookies.”

At his words, you gave him a sincere smile. The first sincere smile he’d ever seen from you and you could tell by his huge, boxy one that it made him happy. “Thank you, Taehyung,” You said. “Anything for you, sweetcheeks,” Okay, so maybe your heart was a bit cold. Maybe the thick walls you built around yourself prevented you from properly processing your feelings. Maybe Jimin was right and the clammy hands and giddy feeling you got from being around Taehyung was love.

But right now, the two of you didn’t care.

Because you were in the middle of your first genuine conversation.

#kim taehyung #taehyung #bts v #bts #bts oneshot #taehyung x reader #bts fluff

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qlistening · 3 years

Text

Is Now a Good Time to Become a Hippie?

Ha ha fun little opening note: I opened my iPad to write this and saw the Cornell notes template and now I’m wondering how the people who had to take Cornell notes to get through college are doing these days. Probably not well.

I’m cracking open the blog again this summer to really do some justice to the two month identity crisis that I, and maybe you, have been experiencing since graduation. I’ve been through the wringer, like most people, with the classic post-grad crises of “What am I doing with my life?” and “What am I even good at?”, and “Will I ever have fun again like I did in college?”. But honestly fuck those crises. That kind of shit is so cliche and boring to talk about. I need bigger broader shit on my plate. The type of existential garbage that can really wreck you. The types of questions that can’t be answered by your Mom saying “it’s okay honey”.

So the set I came up with is as follows: “What rules should I live my life by if I truly believe that our society will crumble to climate change in 1 - 2 generations?”, “How can I ever protect my soul from capitalism when I need the constant stimulation of city life to distract me from my depression?”, and “If I reconnect with my hippie childhood, will it destroy my chances of happiness and success later in life like it did for my parents?”.

I know what you’re thinking: “That’s an awesome list Ava. I wish I could have come up with that myself”. Sorry you can’t be me.

It’s got just enough “this girl needs to lay off the acid” undertones to be dismissed by the common man, yet is valid enough to make any stoner or stoner+ (the + is psychedelics) a little itchy.

Whithought further ado--I left this typo in here because I couldn’t stop laughing at it--, lettuce unpack these crises.

1. What rules should I live my life by if I truly believe that our society as we know it will crumble in 1 - 2 generations? I wish the answer was as simple as “more whippets”, but sadly, it just never is. There are actually a lot of sub-questions here like “Is enough change to reverse the course of climate change even possible at this point?”, “Does our species even deserve to be saved, or should we lean into the suffering and let the deer dance on our graves?”, “What the fuck are you supposed to be with your life when you can’t bring yourself to reproduce because the world is ending so you have to constantly invent a sense of purpose for yourself instead of just using your kids as a cop out?, and lastly “What if you’re making a mistake by not going to Mars with Jeff and Elon na d the vibes there end up being super lit?”

You see, I’m really good at coming up with these questions, but pretty bad at answering them. All I’ve come up with in terms of the rules and purpose part is just to vibe it out and focus my energy on good ol’ drugs, sex, and rock n roll till the end. But UH OH! Now I’ve become my parents.

Perhaps I could focus on nature, gratitude, and spirituality? OH CRUD! Now I’m Rose, who has definitely reconciled these issues better than me, but has the advantage of being an introvert. Shorty don’t need that social stimulation like I do and can just go hermit mode when the going gets tough. Not I.

How about a commune? Tempting, but I’ve heard about a lot of commune drama in my day and don’t really want to get whisked into some Midsommer shit by accident.

Comedy? Can’t go monetizing my best coping mechanism, now can I?

Pose your questions to a broader audience in folk songs like Bob Dylan? I think I’m too street for that and I can’t play the guitar.

Focus on work and being successful? Nope. Work blows and I’m supposed to be protecting my soul from capitalism.

I tend to treat this question like the hard ones on the EOGs and just skip it and plan on circling back later.

2. How do I protect my soul from capitalism when I need the constant stimulation of city life to distract me from my depression? And when I say I need that shit, I mean it. New people. New shit to do. All the time. I ain’t havin’ no baby, so settling down isn’t in the cards either. There is no scenario where I am going to move out to the suburbs just to stare at my husband every night for 30+ years or, in a more likely scenario, stare at the wall. I’m staying on the scene for a long time, maybe forever.

That being said, the city is ripe with capitalism. Everyone works like a dog 24/7, switching back and forth between 2 - 4 Apple devices to accomplish God knows what in the grand scheme of things. Tech, finance, and marketing (the classic city trio) have to be the most pointless and cutthroat industries we have come up with to date. It feels like you have to have to have one of those jobs to live there. To afford it, sure, but beyond that, to know that you beat out someone else to get it and that you have successfully stepped on your first of many necks on the way to the top.

I’m moving to Chicago in like 2 weeks to work in tech/finance and sucking my own dick for having a management position so, clearly, I am not above any of this. But I sure wish I was. Even the first month of my soul-selling transaction feels like it has taken years off my life and dulled my flame quite a bit more than school ever did. So I am on the LOOKOUT for ways to get my mouth on some deep dish pizza and fine Chicago men without all of these bullshit side effects.

And Finally…

3. If I reconnect with my hippie childhood now, will it destroy my chances at happiness and success like it did for my parents?

I feel like this one needs to be elaborated on a little more. For anyone who doesn’t know, my parents are both raging Dead Heads who practiced the art of escapism together on tour for 20 some years until Jerry Garcia died tragically in ‘95. In a desperate search for a new purpose, they popped out me and my sister and now we’re all living the middle class dream in a ranch house on the outskirts of Greensboro. “But at least they’re happy and they love each other right?” Nope. Ls all around.

Sadly, this isn’t just my parents. This seems to be the classic hippie timeline. You feel good, get high, get laid, and indulge your senses in your 20s and you realize that none of it is monetizable and come out the other end begging for capitalism to take you back and bless you with a mediocre career. I know I sound like Nixon right now, but I’m just reading off the data from what I’ve seen.

Shit is really fucking sad man. I just want to think and feel and vibe and enjoy the world for what it is before it gets too crispy but I feel like I can’t. Any step away from my career feels like it will just land me at the bottom of the totem poll with a job that sucks even more than the one I started with. And yeah, I’m a lot smarter and slicker and decidedly childless than my parents, but it feels like a big fucking dice roll to do the same thing that they did and expect a different outcome. I mean they are the two most genetically similar people to me on the planet, after-all. I really do think I have to be careful and stick with the straight and narrow for now. Bummer because I would like to just bool before the world ends, but unfortunately, that’s going to take a little too long for me to avoid these problems.

In conclusion: I believe the answer to the question I posed in the title is “Not really and I should probably start hashing these things out with a therapist instead of a tumblr blog sooner rather than later”.

And if you are wondering, no I am not high right now, but I am about to be because that shit was heavy.

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cherrykamado · 3 years

Note

here i am covering my eyes to not see the questions but still be excited to read your answers !! but....

5, 15, 24, 33, 36, 42, 47, 55, 56, 64, 69, 77, 82 :*

AAA FAEEE MY HUNNYYY

cw: long post!

tw: alcohol mention, injuries mention, crack moments lol

5. Are you in love?

I am! (both in real life and with my 2d husbands lol <3)

15. Do you have any piercings?

Yes! I got my septum for my 21st birthday (last year!) and it's the first one I ever got (bc I am hella scared of needles lmao)

24. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years?

mmmm, tbh I don't think so. But this is because I don't believe in marriage, but I see myself in 5 years w/ my boyfriend!

33. Have you ever experienced unrequited love?

oof, countless times </3

36. Have you ever liked one of your best friends?

uuuh, not liked literally but I've been attracted to my then best friend (when i was at secondary school lol)

42. How long can you just kiss until your hands start to wander?

tbh i'm a handsy person so maybe like 10-20 seconds? 🙈

47. How old are you?

I'm 22 !

55. Share a relationship story.

* pats couch* well, sit down bby this is gonna be a long ass story lmao

(tw: my relationship stories are 99% pure crack lol)

once we went to the beach with our friends for a week. We all decided to go for a walk on the beach at night all the way to downtown, and we brought a bag full of beer cans lol

when we get to the border between downtown and the beach, we sat on it (it was like a lil stoney wall? well, i think you get it) and then the police showed up! we all were like ??? bc obviously we didn't do anything lol. They said they needed to revise our bag so my friend, who was carrying it, opened it up and, sadly, they ended up confiscating our beer </3

HOWEVER, when the officer turned around to leave, my boyfriend (i swear he doesn't drink or do drugs he's just like this lmfao) walks up to him and (yes, you're reading right) he fucking challenges him to a dance battle. yes, a mf dance battle.

my friends and i were all like ??? and the officer was like ???, but he was fucking. dancing. (again i swear mah man doesn't do any drugs, that's how he is)

the police officer just looked at him like 'okayyyyy' and left. conclusion: we didn't get our beer back :(

56. State 8 facts about your body.

oooff uhmmm

1- i got 4 scars on my right leg (bc a big ass window exploded on me when i was 11 yo i think)

2- my fingers are so flexible they're scary

3- i can crack my knuckles whenever i want (and that's scary too)

4- i'm curvy and 80% of the time i like my body

5- i'm proud of mah a$$

6- i always injure either my left hand or my right leg (seriously, i think they're cursed. Like, I injure my left hand once a year and each time it was a different finger lol)

7- I have a scar on my forehead (bc of the same as my right leg)

8- the part of my body i'm most insecure of is my big ass forehead lol

64. What is your definition of cheating?

tbh i think that cheating is often linked to the sexual aspect and, whereas i think it's the most common, i think that cheating also applies to getting involved w someone else at an emotional level.

69. What turns you off?

narrow minds.

oh, and chads; but y'know, those chads. Like, idk how to explain but i think you get it (except for fanon manbun eren, he can totally fuck me)

77. What’s your opinion on age differences in relationships?

as long as both parts are of the minimum legal age of consent, it's cool. However, if you're like 10 years apart i would consider it kinda weird (like, generationally speaking, what can u share with the other person? like i think the interests would be so different, it's hard for me to think you can have things in common; however i might be wrong)

82. Who is the last person you hugged?

mah momma while we cried watching goodbye lenin <3

#i love these question games lol #thanks fae my loveeeeee #faevi #cherry talks #you got mail brat #tw: alcohol #cw: long post #tw: injuries mention

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purplesurveys · 3 years

Text

1245

Serious question, peanut butter or nutella? Oh you are just mean. Nutella is amazing as a filling or icing, but when it comes down to it I guess I look for peanut butter more often. I love both though.

Do you prefer baked potatoes or mashed potatoes? Mashed. But baked potatoes are pretty good too; the only reason I didn’t pick it is that I don’t get to have it as often as I do mashed.

What is your oldest sibling’s middle name? I’m the eldest sibling, but my sister, who comes after me, has Beatrice as her second name if that’s what you mean by middle name.

Do you like breadsticks? Yes. The more cheesy-garlicky, the better.

What are your favorite things to spend money on? Merch or food.

Which would you rather have a new puppy or kitten? Puppy. Not the biggest fan of cats.

How old will you be on your next birthday? 24.

Do you ever feel self-conscious when you eat around other people? If it’s the combination of having to be around people I’m not too close with, like workmates, and I’m eating something that tends to be messy, like jjajangmyeon, then yeah I can definitely feel conscious.

When you opened your eyes this morning, what were your first thoughts? I fell asleep from 11 PM to around 3 AM and when I woke up then I thought “ugh, I fell asleep early again?”

What is one thing in the room you’re in that reminds you of somebody? My vape pen constantly reminds me of Andi because they were the one who gave it to me.

Could you ever be friends with somebody who was homophobic? No.

Would you ever want to be a supermodel, or date one? I did want to be one, at one point. It was all a matter of being stuck with the wrong crowd at the time lol.

Honestly, have you ever made fun of somebody so bad they cried? Probably with my sister when we were very young.

Honestly, would you rather be complimented on your looks or intelligence? Intelligence.

Have you ever purchased a pregnancy test, for yourself or otherwise? I never have.

You can get one thing, anything, for free right now. What do you pick? Why? A 1 or 2 TB hard drive. My phone has reached the stage where I’m starting to have to constantly delete shit so I don’t reach the maximum storage, so I need someplace to dump all my photos and videos in to free up my phone.

Honestly, have you ever danced naked? Nope.

What was the first illegal thing that you did? Did you get caught? I dunno...buy pirated movies? I didn’t get ‘caught’ since pirated movie stalls are widespread here anyway, so for the most part I’ve always been more concerned for them than I am for myself.

What is the home page on the computer you’re on? Technically it’s supposed to be the Google home screen, but I have an extension that shows me my to-do list for the day.

Do you like to write poetry? Nah, that’s always been my Achilles’ heel when it comes to writing.

Are your ears pierced? Yup. Surprisingly enough they’ve never closed up despite never having worn earrings (clip-ons notwithstanding) in the last 13 years.

If so, were they pierced with a piercing gun, or with a sterile needle? I’m not sure, since my mom had them pierced when I was a baby. I would guess piercing gun, though.

Do you wear makeup regularly? I never wear makeup.

Did you eat cereal for breakfast today? I never have cereal unless I’m staying at hotels. It’s just never been something I look for.

When was the last time you tripped over something? A box that was lying around in my room.

Any obsessive-compulsive tendencies? I’ll sometimes get concerned with how many times I have to flick the switch of our hot water dispenser or open and close the refrigerator door before I feel completely satisfied...but I dunno if that counts.

Who was the last person you yelled at? Technically...Angela? I was filming an unboxing video for a gift she randomly got me and I loved the gift so much I was yelling my excitement through the screen.

Why did you yell at them? ^ That.

Favorite type of apple? I don’t like fruits.

Ever seen live horse racing? No, it’s not something that interests me.

How about live greyhound racing? I don’t even know what that looks like.

What’s one thing, besides the obvious, that you couldn’t live without? The arts, I guess. I need something to listen to, to watch, etc on a regular basis.

Have you ever touched a giraffe? I don’t think so.

What does your mom call you? Robyn, or the Filipino term parents use for their kids.

What stresses you out the most in life? A particular client at work. We have a million campaigns going on for them at any given point so my life virtually revolves around that brand these days.

Do you play any PC games? What is your favorite? Nope.

If you were pregnant, how would you tell the father? Well, that would depend on the circumstances. Did we want a baby? Was it a bad surprise, a happy surprise? I can't answer this with just one idea. < Yeah.

What’s the hardest level you can play on Guitar Hero? If I’m using a Playstation controller, I can go Hard or Expert. But my finger coordination with the actual guitar controller is terrible and I fail most songs even at Easy.

What ever happened with you and your first boyfriend? There was never any ‘boyfriend,’ but my first girlfriend and I have basically had a falling out and I haven’t talked to her in months, and I expect it to continue being that way.

What’s your favorite country song? I don’t have any.

What is the worst thing a former boyfriend/girlfriend has done to you? Putting her pride and anger first even when I’m obviously in a state of disstress or breakdown in front of her. That’s some emotional rollercoaster I’m glad I don’t have to deal with anymore.

What were you for Halloween last year? Just Dora the Explorer again, which was a repeat from the year before that.

Are you feeling guilty for something? I don’t think so; at least there isn’t anything I’m actively feeling guilty about at the moment.

Are you usually quiet or loud? I think I’m in between? I’m pretty loud but I can space out at the most random moments hahaha.

How many hours do you spend on the computer a day? This question always makes me wince at myself...I guess anywhere between 16-18 hours? The only time I put my laptop down is when I’m off to bed, but otherwise it’s constantly open.

What is the show that you watched when you were little, and you still do? I don’t think there is such a show.

Do your siblings text you? Nope. We live under the same roof 24/7 so there’s been little need to text.

Do you want a small or big wedding? Big.

Have you ever searched for your own house on Google Earth? Yes, but that was when Google Earth was still super bare so I wasn’t able to see the actual house anyway, but just the general area where we’re located. I haven’t used Google Earth in years.

Who is your ex dating/talking to? I don’t know and I hoooonestly could not care less.

Ever kissed someone who smokes? Yep.

Does it take a lot for someone to annoy you? Depends on my mood. I have my moments where it’s very easy for me to get irritated.

Do you own your own computer? I mean it was bought for me, but I didn’t get it with money I earned.

Did you ever have to share a room with one of your siblings? When my brother was starting to mature, my sister and I very very briefly experimented sharing a room, but it lasted like all of two weeks. My parents ultimately just transferred our balcony to a bedroom so that all three of us had our own rooms.

What noises in the room you’re in, do you hear at the moment? An airplane is flying above me at the moment so I can hear its engine. I can also hear some crickets chirping and the faint barking of dogs.

Have you ever dated someone with longer hair than yours? Yup.

What’s the biggest upcoming event for you? I guess my second vaccine dose is kinda big? It’s happening this Friday.

What do you typically order from Wendy’s? I rarely get Wendy’s tbh, but when I do I usually go for their Baconator.

Have you ever been given a lapdance by an actual stripper? No, it’s not something I would be into.

What do you love most about yourself? Continued the next day because I am terrible at taking a survey in one go. I like that I don’t hesitate to do or buy things for my loved ones, not even inwardly. I guess it’s because my family has always lived very practically, so I want to make up for that by spoiling my friends.

Have you ever received a hickey from the last person you kissed? Yes.

What are you doing right now? I am supposed to be at work but it’s a relatively quiet day, so I’m here. I do have my screen split between Tumblr and my emails though, so that I’d be able to see if new work will come in hahaha.

What’s bothering you right now? Quiet work days always make me anxious because it makes me think if I’m forgetting about something crucial.

What was the last thing you drank? I literally just took a sip of my coffee before moving on to this question.

Be honest, do you like people in general? Depends on the situation, I think. Like when I go to concerts, I know I’m around people I share the same interests with, so there’s a sense of solidarity that goes with that. But when I’m like...I dunno, lining up to get my license renewed at a government office, I know people there are in a rush and tend to get rude, and that makes me feel a little bit overwhelmed. I don’t think this is something I can generalize.

Do you want your tongue pierced? No. Lip I can consider, but I have to pass on tongue.

Do you change your phone background a lot? I do these days, yeah.

Have you ever made someone so mad that they broke something? Possibly.

Have you ever been strip searched? I’ve been searched, but was never asked to strip.

Do you have a funny last name? Does anyone make fun of it? No, it’s an ordinary surname.

Ever have a drug overdose? What did you OD on exactly? Never.

Do you get sick of people who call themselves bipolar all the time? I get sick of people who call themselves bipolar, and of people who use ‘bipolar’ to describe someone else who just has your typical mood swings.

Describe your day so far in three words: Business as usual.

What was the most stressful project you had so far/while in school? I was once designated as a leader for a science investigative project, which didn’t make sense because science was definitely not my strongest point. Needless to say it didn’t go well and I ended up being a terrible leader. Choose one- Butterfinger, Milky Way, Snickers: Butterfinger, even though they’re a bitch to eat and chew.

Have you ever stepped in dog poop? Maybe once or twice. It fortunately doesn’t happen a lot.

What was the last thing you spent money on? I got Angela and Reena cheese tarts. The reason behind it was Jin held a VLIve last Monday and he had been eating egg tarts during the stream; and because I was happy to have watched my first Jin live, I got my friends cheese tarts hahaha. I don’t know a lot of places that sells good egg tarts so I settled for cheese tarts instead, which I think are better anyway.

Have you ever slept in the same bed with the last person you kissed? Yeah.

Is there a guy that knows a lot about you? I guess Hans? We personally don’t get to have a lot of heart-to-heart exchanges, but considering how Angela’s my greatest confidante I’m sure she has shared bits of my life to him, which I don’t mind.

Is there someone you just can’t imagine your life without? I don’t really like answering this question anymore because the people that I’ve declared ‘for keeps’ have faded out of my life at some point. I’m a lot more guarded and self-preservation-y when it comes to this now.

Do you prefer Starbucks coffee or small cafe coffee? Ooooh, both. I love coffee.

Would you ever consider getting a piercing in your septum? No.

Do you enjoy being outdoors? If the weather is nice, yes.

Do people tell you that you have an accent? I mean I’ve been told my English is strong, but my accent in particular doesn’t really get noted.

Do you enjoy watching fireworks on the 4th of July? I don’t celebrate that.

What’re some unspeakable subjects for you? I don’t like talking about my brother. Otherwise I am pretty open about everything.

Is there anyone you would take a bullet for? Several people come to mind.

Do you enjoy tanning? If I’m at the beach, sure. It’s honestly not something I have to constantly keep up with, though, since I’m already naturally tan enough. Are you a virgin? No.

Who’s your celebrity crush? Taehyung :(

Did or do you get good grades in English class? I always got pretty good grades in English.

What part of your body are you self-conscious about? Teeth, and my legs sometimes.

Are you expected to help fix Thanksgiving dinner? I don’t celebrate that.

Have you ever lost anyone close to cancer? Yes.

Do you personally know anyone who is transgender? Yes.

When was the last time you got a shot? Last month, then I’m getting my second dose tomorrow.

#survey #surveys

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ziracona · 3 years

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hey zira, what are your hot takes on all of the fo4 companions?

Haha, I don’t know how hot they are, but I can give you a speed run! (Also I am very excited to get this. FO4 was the first open world game I ever played and just the concept of that and the hugeness of the world and branching story & sudden feeling changes towards me in companion characters totally blew my mind, & it still lives rent free in my heart).

Ada, Old Longfellow, and Strong I /still/ haven’t maxed despite having too many hundred hours to want to list on this game—the former bc they were DLC, Strong because honest to god I left him at a nice settlement and then completely forgot about him and remembering that I am the energy in this Ryan O’Flanagan video but abt leaving my super mutant in a tiny settlement alone. I will get there! To max affinity I mean. But anyway, I don’t truly know those three, so my takes are incomplete. So far though, I really like Ada. She is a good girl just trying her best. Fucks me up I can tell her to self destruct. Even though I feel sure she would ignore me, I cannot imagine ever saying that to her. It was really sweet she was willing to forgive the Mechanist and move on with her life. A good girl. Longfellow I am maxing rn (was last time I played anyhow). I enjoy him. Gruff grumpy old man but he seems quite decent and I like his idle banter and when he sings to himself a lot. Seems like he’s had it rough. Strong I liked. He’s wild, and I loved how insane meeting him was, and am worried about him eventually understanding poetry and how that might mess up his sense of world understanding. But he’s a chill dude in his own way and I am glad they gave us at least one nice super mutant.

For the companions I actually do know like the back of my hand, the speedrun:

Nick Valentine: Best man on earth. One of two fictional characters I ever called husband. I would die kill or live for him. I want to be 1/4th the man Nick Valentine is. One of the best characters ever period and I adore literally everything about him. It fucked me up early in game where right after he offered to basically risk destroying his mind to help a stranger look for her son, he asked me how I was doing. First character in the entire game to do that. His first companion dialogue is abt how you’re doing TuT. The man is very kind and forgiving and fair, but knows when the draw the line and take no shit. Emotionally mature, kind, caring, longsuffering. Incredibly damaged and broken by life, but holding on and living kindly and to help others anyway. One of the four most marryablen fictional men I’ve ever seen.

Preston Garvey: Brave, kind, sweet man. I would defend him with my life. He really just wants so bad to make the world better and life has been so hard, but he’s still trying. A beautiful and underrated companion and I would throw hands for him on sight. I adore how he whistles. A true and gentle and loyal friend. Take him to Quincy and let him get his justice it’s what he deserves. People who hate him because he tries to get help helping civilians in that game are weak. I love him so much... please give him enough time to reach max affinity he’s so worth it.

Deacon: *To the tune of You Are My Dad* You are my friiiiend! You’re my friend! (Boogie woogie woogie). Initially, he pissed me off bc he lies all the god damn time, but after we got close enough he actually trusted me, he stole my heart and I would also die for Deacon. He’s a really good person who thinks he’s shit because of who he was on his past. Also him 🤝 Preston: massive survivor’s guilt. They should be friends. Poor Deacon has been the last member of the Railroad like four times, and it’s awful. Help him. Give him love and support. He’s one of my all time faves. Also, Railroad hands down best faction and if you kill them for any reason other than like a walkthrough route video and I ever get the chance I would 100% clock you in the face as hard as I can, like going for losing teeth, and feel no guilt. I know it’s a game and that’s wrong, and I’d be wrong, but I’d still do it. Also, Ryan Alosio (his VA) saw me do cosplay for Deacon once and told me it was great and it filled me with even more love. Anyway Deacon is great. Also, his whole “There are other organisations out there. And, in time, I'm sure they're going to spoon-feed you their own patented form of bullshit. Ignore the verbage and look at what they're doing. What they're asking you to do. What sort of world they'd have you build and how they're going to pay for it.” Is one of the like, two most iconic quotes in all of FO4 & just super good in general.

Hancock: Hardcore badass man but also a good dude and a champion for the people. Man really puts his money where his mouth is and you gotta respect that; another favorite companion for sure. Big fan of the way he stabs a guy for you upon meeting, and is a cool leader who organized his crime and does a decent job actually leading. He works hard to help people and bites back hard. Social justice advocate, dangerous man about town, not afraid to cosplay a revolutionary war hero 24/7 & u gotta respect the no fucks given attitude. A chill dude. Like that he fights the institute, hates the Brotherhood, helps the Railroad, and is friends with Nick. He’s legit af. Also, his VA gives a different answer every time someone asks him about the voice he did for hancock and they’re funny af.

Piper Wright: A cool spunky lady. Lois Lane on the case, kicking butt, and taking name. She’s nice but also hardcore and smart, supportive, fun. A good person. You always get points if you like Nick (which most companions do), and they’re good friends. She’s funny and I love her. A good heart.

Codsworth: He’s great. He’s family. He’s like my...weird brother. Getting to max affinity is heartwarming and also makes my heart go :’-] . Great early-game companion bc he kicks ass and doesn’t need stims to heal. I love getting called by my name and think that was a great feature (well, my PC’s name). He’s a wonderful funky little robot dude and I am so glad he likes me.

Dogmeat: Amazing. A good boy. Doggo of the year. His actor deserved the game award she won. Cute, full of love, and plays with a teddy bear if you give him one. 100/10z

Cait: I like her a lot. She’s been through so much shit, and it makes sense she is how she is. I like they actually gave her an emaciated and messy (though still pretty) design, since she is a drug addict. And that they make her main quest about taking that seriously and wanting to get help, and that she’ll call out the player if they fuck around and do drugs in front of her after she gets rehabilitated. Her relationship to the PC if good is really sweet, and I am a fan. I like that while she’s not sympathetic to synths and thinks they aren’t people, she forgets that every time Nick walks into a room and is like “Oh hey Nicky : )”. She’s a good girl who has been through a lot and still needs time to heal and find herself, but she’s making great strides.

Robert Joseph MacCready: Human disaster (loving). Homeboy a goddamn /mess/ but I love him. He tries so hard to be cool. I love he makes you pay him to come with, then chickens out and gives it back lol. A fool ball of anxiety and bad decisions and what he thinks brovado is. I wish he, Preston, and Deacon would quit fighting, bc I am always like “ :’-] </3 Boys Please” when they swap out, but I love them just the same. He’s doing his best, he’s just stupid and a fool. Like Philip J Fry. Keeping his goddamn soldier toy, which somehow is listed as junk instead of sent to Misc with quest items where it would be fine, safe?parylizes me with fear. I’ve lost 2 hours of gameplay reloading an old save bc I accidentally lost it.

X6-88: A more complex one to answer about. He’s bad, but like, I’m pretty sympathetic to how he got that way. He was created in a lab and had his emotions mostly dragged out of him in intense psychologically damaging training so he would be a weapon and view himself as an object. I was relieved he chose me over the institute even if he wasn’t a fan of the chocie, and think that means there’s a lot of hope for him. Wish he’d chill the fuck out and quit intimidating civilians for 6 god damn seconds, but I like him. I bring him fancy lad snack cakes home from travels all the time, bc Synths are supposed to like them. Really like that he’s the /most/ sympathetic companion towards Danse in Blind Betrayal, even though he should not be programmed for that, and Danse hated him and made it clear any time they interacted.

(EDIT) Curie: I FORGOT HER BABY IM SO SORRY. I like Curie a lot, despite the fact I temporarily forgot she existed. I stg I thought she was in here. Uhhh, okay. Curie: like her character and personality, HUGE un-fan of both the way her desire to get a synth body is to be ‘more real,’ as if Codsworth isn’t a fully realized person while the same robot type she is, instead of just like. Because it would make her happy. ALSO hate how much of a Born Sexy Yesterday she is, even intentionally in not-determinate affinity talks. It’s gross. But her herself, I like a lot. She’s my daughter and I will protect her. She works at The Castle right now as their on-site medic.

Paladin Danse: I know I’m gonna take heat for this but honestly? He didn’t do much for me. I like that he looks and sounds kinda like Buzz Lightyear, and that’s fun, but idk at all why people think he’s so hot. He’s very boring & generic looking to me. Like you’re valid! Taste all be different. But he doesn’t do it for me personally in looks or personality. I don’t at all like, hate him. Or even dislike. Tbh I am fairly neutral on him. It was funny making affinity with him though. Every other companion I had maxed, I liked more and more with each affinity talk. They’d be like “So my dad was a minuteman and died and I want to honor him” or “I just want to really feel like I’m a person, for real, myself, and I am glad I met you, because the good we have achieved together is ours, even if I can’t be sure of anything else,” or “My brother threw the cultural minorities out of our city for clout bc the rich citizens were all racist, and I tried to help—I snuck them food to the unsafe ruins they set up in for weeks, but eventually, they just vanished, and I still bear immense guilt and self-hatred over not having stopped that.” And Danae’s would be like “One time a buddy of mine got kidnapped by super mutants. They turned him into one of them, and they’re all abominations, so I killed him and it made me really sad.” And I was just like “...Oh danse. I really wanted to like you more. But what the fuck.” His relationship to Haylen is sweet though. And ofc I saved him in Blind Betrayal. I blew up the Prydwin so he’s safe now too, and he lives in the garden by my house and tells me how glad he is we’re friends, and I’m p into that. Overall, my feelings on him are not strong at all though.

Porter Gage: Not a fan. Like, I appreciated he helped me kill the old boss, sure. And bc I owed him for that, I went to max affinity to see what there was to him as a person. And like, as far as raiders go, he was okay. But he wasn’t deeply sympathetic, and he’s a slaver, and if you try to liberate the slaves he and the others own, he /will/ turn on and attempt to murder you immediately, no matter how close you were, so he made his choice, and it was to be a bad person and an asshole to the last. Really enjoyed the VA’s work a lot on him tho.

And there you have it 👈👈😎. Thanks for asking!

#ask #anonymous #fallout 4 #fo4 #god I love them so much. I was really proud I kept all the OGs too. everyone but Gage. who had to go but it’s his own choice and fault 🤷🏻‍♀️#GOD far harbor was a good dlc. it’s like the main quest choice again but way more condensed and twice as f ked up. my poor MC had only #come to terms just before with all the lives she took & started healing #doing bad things she did not want to do & knew he would know about and think less of her for doing. but she did them. 😔 bc of course she did #then she had to choose between letting the dude she loved be hurt in a way he wouldn’t recover from & torpedoing her relationship to him by #she loves Nick and if it’s him or her it’s always gonna be her #I was SUFFERING. a lot. but I also loved it #don’t come into my inbox and clown about liking Danse please or Gage. idc at all #like you are welcome to your opinion I’m not gonna try to convince you /not/ to like him. plz do me the same courtesy & respect my right to #have an opinion u may not like

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prosopopeya · 3 years

Text

New Year’s Meme

this survey has been a tradition among my friend group for YEARS, but i haven’t filled it out since 2015 apparently. i’m not entirely sure why except 2016 was the year a lot of stuff changed for me, namely in that i finally got out of school in some form and started a new job, but i also had a few health problems that kept plaguing me (thyroid medicine being off, vitamin d) and my anxiety was all over the place. so here we go i’m doing it again and feel free to do it too if you want!!

1. What did you do in 2020 that you’d never done before? tried on wedding dresses. taught virtually. dealt (poorly) with drunk teenagers. performed in a pep rally. wore face masks all the time. i’m going to lump in living with someone. jon moved in october 2019, but i don’t think i did this quiz last year so. taught ap.

2. Did you keep your New Years’ resolutions and will you make more for next year? i don’t really like resolutions. they put too much pressure on me and i am a fragile person when it comes to setting expectations and living up to them. i did want to try to read more this year, and i maintained that until the pandemic, and then just kind of gave up requiring myself to do anything but live.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? i don’t think so. a coworker did.

4. Did anyone close to you die? jon’s cousin committed suicide in march or april. the circumstances were pretty upsetting. um. andy died in february, very suddenly. andy was my high school boyfriend for four years with whom i had a very... he scarred me in a lot of ways when it comes to sex and consent. it’s taken me a long time to unpack all of that. and i struggle with how much any of that was his fault or just bc he was a stupid kid too. our mutual friends had nothing but nice things to say about him on fb. anyway. he would guilt me into saying he’d kill himself if we broke up, and jon’s cousin killed himself over his girlfriend. so that was a complex part of the year.

5. What countries did you visit? none. literally the week before the quarantine, we went to asheville to visit jon’s cousin.

6. What would you like to have in 2021 that you lacked in 2020? maybe a different job? or at least some peace at doing mine.

7. What date from 2020 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? march 13 we cancelled classes and had a technology training day; the 15th we had another one, and then we were virtual the rest of the term. it was such a sudden shift and while i so loved working from home tbh, it was such a relief after a supremely shitty january/february work-wise, i still had a lot of keyed-up, stressful days centered around transitioning to being the senior upper school spanish teacher. i hate it!

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? writing 50k in the month of november. i have literally never done that before and actively reject nano as being typically unhealthy for how my mind works, so it was nice to do it entirely by accident.

9. What was your biggest failure? mishandling the drunken teenagers on that field trip in january.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury? i sit crosslegged in my virtual teaching chair and i did it so much that my ankle hurt for the entire summer.

11. What was the best thing you bought? we put a deposit on our elopement in ireland. jon’s wedding ring. (i didn’t buy my wedding dress.)

12. Whose behavior merited celebration? my best friend at work who keeps me sane and is represented by benny in my au, which other than the fact that he is not my sidepiece, is perfect he is crucial to my survival at work and i love him so much. (also he is gay and the french teacher so the benny parallels just keep coming). everyone who tore down a statue in virginia (and other places, but especially monument avenue). everyone putting their lives on the line during this pandemic.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? guess! but aside from all the obvious, i found out a friend of mine at work voted for trump. my work bff and i had been trying for years to sway his politics, but that had us both deciding to give up on him.

14. Where did most of your money go? food, ALCOHOL. god., our savings account. i did a pretty excellent job saving this year, though a good deal of that is because jon moved in and makes more money than me, and also we split all the bills.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? my wedding dress but strangely only when i went to try it on after it came in bc after the purchase i was so sure i’d made every mistake possible. my wedding band. wellbutrin changing my whole life. and, last but certainly not least, the gay angel and the bi(lingual) hunter. i wouldn’t have survived nov-dec in school without that distraction. the election.

16. What song(s) will always remind you of 2020? the entirety of taylor swift’s oeuvre this year, maybe specifically “this is me trying”

17. Compared to this time last year, are you: i. Happier or sadder? happier, i suppose, perhaps contrary to what should be the case, but wellbutrin is a hell of a drug. ii. Older or wiser? wiser. ii. Richer or poorer? richer.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of? reading. cleaning. exercising.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of? stressing. chaperoning.

20. How will you be spending Christmas? so, an update; last year was the first year i didn’t go to my mom’s for christmas. i was supposed to see her for thanksgiving last year, but she basically told us not to come bc she wasn’t feeling up to it (cool!), and we went to jon’s for christmas and my mom’s for new year’s.

this year, obviously we couldn’t go to my mom’s. instead, we rented a little cabin by the lake. it was perfect; it was really really nice inside, the beds were SO SOFT, the pillows were the best things i have ever laid my head on, like i took off the pillowcases to try to find the brand. we had a little tiny christmas tree with tiny ornaments from walmart that we decorated. the 23rd, we went and picked up our wedding bands. we slept two nights in the (cold) back bedroom so i could wake up and look out at the lake. it snowed for christmas. :)

we opened presents on christmas eve, per jon’s family’s tradition. on christmas eve, we also went to his family farm and sat outside and hung out a little. every year his family does like a secret santa sort of thing and i got my first present in that exchange, which is notable bc jon and i are not yet officially married. i got a remote control car -- jon’s idea bc i couldn’t think of anything, and he was so delighted to hear that i loved playing with rc cars when we went to the beach as a kid.

christmas morning we facetimed my parents and opened some presents together. then jon and i marathoned mandalorian (after spending the previous few days watching several die hard movies), and then we watched wonder woman 1984 which was a bad movie.

21. How will you be spending New Year’s Eve? ok LAST year for new year’s, we were in a hotel room, so that was nice, bc it meant minimal stress with my parents. i had always wanted to go to this restaurant near us that has a special new year’s menu, so we did that. the night before or after i think we went to cheesecake factory, which was also amazing.

this year currently i’m tumbling and he’s playing pokemon, and in a bit we’ll try to time it so we finish schitt’s creek in time for the new year.

22. Did you fall in love in 2020? i re-fell in love with supernatural so that was nice.

23. How many one-night stands? 0. i submit we should randomly change question 23 each year to something more relevant to any of our life experiences.

24. What was your favorite TV program? what did i even watch this year. schitt’s creek. mandalorian. i mean obviously we know supernatural. the circle. are you the one (the queer season). pose. unsolved mysteries. we’re here! perry mason. watchmen. oh maybe that mcdonald’s monopoly fraud documentary. avenue 5. i’ll be gone in the dark. of those i think my favorite maybe is... pose or we’re here.

OKAY UM. on my 2014 version of this there were a bunch of questions about tv shows that i’m putting back in if only for the memories:

25. Which TV shows did you start watching in 2020? the haunting of bly manor, which we still need to finish. derry girls.

26. Which TV shows did you let go of in 2020? HERE’S WHY I WANTED TO RESURRECT THESE. here was my answer in 2015: “supernatural. goodbye, my sweet prince.” CAN YOU EVEN FUCKING BELIEVE

27. Which TV shows did you mean to get into but didn’t in 2020? Why? so far, queen’s gambit and that one on hulu with catherine the great. EVENTUALLY. 28. Which TV shows do you intend on checking out in 2020? fleabag. queen’s gambit. 29. Which TV show do you think you might let go of in 2020 unless things significantly improve? idk i drop things pretty regularly if they don’t entertain me 30. Which TV show impressed you least in 2020? GUYS HERE’S MY ORIGINAL 2015 ANSWER: “supernatural. :(”

anyway back to the rest of the quiz:

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year? every person who refuses to listen to facts and information.

26. What was the best book you read? killers of the flower moon: the osage murders and the birth of the fbi, or the his dark materials series.

27. What was your greatest musical discovery? well i knew about tswift so i’m not going to count her albums. i will count this song that jon played for me once in the car that got stuck in my head for two weeks straight and led me down into a great related-songs spotify playlist: through the roof ‘n underground.

28. What did you want and get? a wedding dress and a very specific kind of wedding band. a gay angel. a christmas getaway. animal crossing.

29. What was your favorite film of this year? idk i don’t know how many films i saw this year. maybe mucho mucho amor: the legend of walter mercado

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? i was 32. we went to an escape room with a BUNCH of people -- work bff, my old work bff and his wife (old bc he quit and we’ve fallen out of touch :(), the cool new physics teacher and his fiancee, and the aforementioned trump voter and his wife, before we knew... we went out for brunch/lunch after. it was pretty great!

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? not having to chaperone that school trip in january. dean being bi in english as well as spanish. cas just ilke, appearing in 15x20. not having to physically go back to work this fall.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2020? no! real! pants!

34. What kept you sane? jon. supernatural (in a way?). animal crossing for a while. wellbutrin! i haven’t really been able to detail this yet, but finally i did something about tumblr and my therapist making me think about adhd. my doctor gave me wellbutrin (bc i lack any official diagnosis and was on anxiety meds anyway, and he was like let’s try this!) and it’s fucking. it’s a fucking godsend. surprisingly enough, my students. trying to provide them a safe space has been a calming thing for me.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? jensen ackles’ silence. misha collins again, i guess.

36. What political issue stirred you the most? the summer was so fucking intense. i guess though it was me trying to exert my influence in a responsible way with my students without trying to try to make them feel uncomfortable but then one kid was a vocally upset trump supporter after the election and i had to try to defuse that situation.

37. Who did you miss? my old work bff. several old friends that i’ve fallen out of touch with bc i have no object permanence.

38. Who was the best new person you met? people i met through the spn resurgence!

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2020: if you manifest it in an au, it will come. no really though. maybe that expectations are only as important as i make them out to be.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year: usually i have a hard time coming up with anything for this and i default to looking at my most played songs of the year. my most played song of the year received each and every one of its plays within the month of november and you can guess why. anyway see if this works

I had all and then most of you Some and now none of you Take me back to the night we met I don't know what I'm supposed to do Haunted by the ghost of you Take me back to the night we met - the night we met, lord huron

#happy new year #annual meme

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gothpanda · 4 years

Text

A Little Bit of Attitude Ch.32: Los Angeles

WORD COUNT: 5.6k

A/N: lol I’m not dead. Just had finals

TAGS: @madamsixx @emariehorror

Read on Ao3

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May 31st, 1987

Oakland, California

"... At the dollhouse in Fort Lauderdale! Girls, Girls, Girls! Rocking in Atlanta at Tattletails,"

Sammi groaned loud from the music through the speakers, lightly banging her head against the metal shelves aligned with cassette tapes. It was a brand new song that seemed to play 24/7 since being released, Sammi wanting to rip her ears out of her head. It didn't help that she was in a record store where most of the employees were goth or punks. As Sammi rested her head on the cold metal, Athena couldn't help but chuckle at her sister's dismay while browsing the selection of pop tapes.

"Why are you so dramatic? I thought you'd be happy the band is being successful," said Athena, side-eyeing Sammi's pouted lips.

"I would be happy if I didn't have to hear or see them all over the place. It gets annoying after a while," said Sammi, walking down the aisle of music, finding something new to entertain herself in. Athena followed in her little sister's footsteps, keeping a safe distance from her. It was Athena's idea to check a music store as Sammi showed her around the Bay Area, never having been able to visit until today.

"Well, it's not like you've been avoiding them or anything like that. Of course, it would get annoying,"

"I am not avoiding them," mumbled Sammi.

"Are you sure? You have done a pretty good job if you ask me," said Athena, grabbing a new Aerosmith cassette for her walkman.

Sammi stopped dead in her tracks, turning to glare right at Athena, who had a playful smirk. "I have not, Athena. I've been busy. " There's a difference," said Sammi, turning into the magazine aisle near the shop's cash register.

"Really? You could've fooled by the way you haven't been home in a year. When was the last time you talked to mama or dad?"

Sammi sighed out. "I'm sorry for missing out on stuff, but school has been a bigger pain in my ass than I thought. And I have spoken to mama and dad,"

"You've missed: Tommy's birthday, Mama's birthday, Thanksgiving, Christmas, my birthday-"

"Okay, I get it, Athena! You don't have to remind me. I'm going home for a month aren't I?" asked Sammi with a sting of sarcasm, glancing at all of the headlines from the gossip tabloids.

"And thank god for that,"

"Why L.A isn't living up to its potential anymore?" joked Sammi.

"Exactly. Everything has been moderately boring since you left. It's not fun hanging out with Tommy after he got married. Our lovely sister-in-law isn't up to crazy fun. And all of my friends are acting like full adults now with 9 to 5's," said Athena.

Right as Sammi responded, her eyes fell on an issue of 'Rock Secrets,' another gossip magazine amongst the hundreds. The cover for the tabloid made Sammi's heartstrings get pulled in different directions. Nikki in the arms of another woman, both smirking. Sammi knew the woman from the party scene of Los Angeles, a dancer for every music video but nothing more. She was the complete opposite of Sammi in every single way. The woman was someone taller who was almost the same height as Nikki in heels. She was slimmer than Sammi and tanner in comparison to Sammi's pale cheeks. Sammi didn't want to believe Nikki running out to get new girlfriends after she left but knew it was bound to happen at some point. It had been a year. Sammi was never one to feel self-conscious about her appearance but seeing someone so different from her have Nikki wrapped around their finger stung. As Sammi stared longer at the cover, she was able to see the haze in Nikki's eyes that she hated, the girl almost matching him. Sammi reached for the magazine, facing Athena with a ghastly face, a cocktail of anger and sadness show. Athena pressed her lips tightly together, taking the tabloid for herself to examine.

"She isn't close to being as pretty as you," said Athena in hopes of cheering Sammi up. Sammi scoffed. "And Tommy hates her with his whole being. Apparently, she's some crazy attention whore. That's probably why she's on this stupid cover,"

"She is pretty, don't lie. And I don't care if Tommy doesn't like her or she's an attention whore," said Sammi, yanking the magazine from Athena's hand. She curled her lip as she stared at the cover, turning pages to see more photos of the couple around Los Angeles. With the luck of being around drugs and partying, Sammi could see when Nikki was high in the images. "Her name is Veronica?" asked Sammi.

"Yeah. Don't let her get to you, she's just some background dancer who's gotten with other musicians," answered Athena, skimming through a Rolling Stones magazine.

"Still. She has a pretty name," mumbled Sammi under her breath, unable to look away. When it finally felt too much for Sammi, she threw the thin tabloid down the aisle with all her force in one quick motion. Athena whipped her head fast, snapping her eyes wide open in shock.

"Sam, what the hell?" asked Athena in a sharp whisper. Sammi only continued to walk into a different section of the music shop. "Was that really necessary?" asked Athena, raising an eyebrow at Sammi.

Sammi shrugged her shoulders, pouting slightly. "It felt good for a second, now I'm just annoyed again,"

"It's great to see you've moved on," teased Athena, throwing her arm around Sammi's shoulders.

"What? I can't be bitter if an ex got a new girlfriend?" asked Sammi, folding her arms across her chest.

"No, because you're supposed to be the mature one, remember? It shouldn't get to you,"

"I beg to differ on being mature,"

"Hey! You can't throw around the magazines!" yelled a young goth girl, picking up the crinkled magazine from the floor, frowning at Sammi and Athena.

"Sorry, she had a temper tantrum. Won't happen again!" answered Athena, trying her best to hide a chuckle. "But seriously please don't do that again. I like to come back to this place next time I visit you,"

"Oh finally you're thinking about visiting?" asked Sammi with a smile, crossing her arms against her chest.

The sisters continued exploring the record store a moment longer, buying cassette tapes to listen to on the drive back home. When Sammi would scan down the rock section, she couldn't help think about what Nikki would like. It was a habit she couldn't break yet. The Oakland streets were beginning to grow busy with summer vacation coming around, Sammi seeing more tourists than usual. "So, I know you don't want to talk about Motley but I should probably tell you this," said Athena.

Sammi kept her dead stare ahead of her, scowling into the distance. "What is it? No one's dying or in the hospital right?"

Athena scoffed in amusement. "No, nothing like that. They're going to be back on the road soon," said Athena, lighting a cigarette as the sisters walked down east.

"Oh. Good for them," said Sammi, wrinkles deepening between her brows. "When are they packing up?"

"Third week in June? Tommy hasn't given me all the details yet except for one,"

"Which is?"

"He wants to throw this huge kick-off party at his and Heather's,"

"Okay," Sammi shrugged.

"I wanted to let you know before Tommy gets so incredibly excited to tell you, he forgets to ask if you're okay," said Athena, blowing out smoke into the air.

"Athena, I'm fine. I just needed to let out my frustrations for a second,"

"Sammi no you're not and please listen," Sammi stopped her steps, sucking her teeth as she faced Athena. "You can admit to not wanting to see Nikki when you get back home. It's understandable to not want to see an ex. You shouldn't tough it out for the sake of Tommy or anyone else. If you're not okay just tell me,"

Sammi sighed out heavily, gazing up anywhere but Athena. "It's okay. I'm okay. Yeah, it hurts Nikki moved on, but what am I supposed to do? We haven't talked in a year, and we both messed up," said Sammi, continuing to walk with heavy steps.

"How did you mess up?" asked Athena.

"I got up and left without telling him. I didn't tell my boyfriend anything about me leaving, and I just left him. You don't think that's a little messed up?" asked Sammi, scrunching her brows together with a frown.

"You two broke up before you left," reassured Athena.

Sammi stopped again in her tracks, looking right into Athena's eyes. "Did you know Nona died last year? Nikki's grandma" asked Sammi.

Athena bit her lip. "No, I didn't. Tom never mentioned it," muttered Athena, looking down at her feet.

Sammi bit the inside of her cheek, shaking her head slightly and continuing to walk. Instead of spitting out venomous words, Sammi pulled out a cigarette from her crinkled pack of Camels, lighting it in silence. "You've been busy, Sam. Don't be hard on yourself," said Athena.

"This conversation is going way longer than I want," muttered Sammi, staring dead ahead of her.

"Fine. Are you ready to go home then?" asked Athena, looping her arm around Sammi's. Sammi sighed out with a nod. The sisters continued their walk through the city streets until finding the car park, silence forming between them. Sammi only wanted to go home to her family.

June 2nd

Los Angeles, California

"Sammi!" screamed Emma excitedly from the apartment balcony, smiling down at her best friend. Sammi slammed the backseat door, swinging a duffle bag on her shoulders as she smiled back at Emma. Sabrina soon rushed out behind the sliding door with a smile on her face. "Do you need any help?" yelled out Sabrina.

"No, I'm good! I'll be right up!" answered Sammi, racing up to the second floor of the apartment complex. As Sammi reached Emma and Sabrina's door, Emma swung it right open, engulfing Sammi in a lovingly tight hug. Sabrina wrapped her arms around both the girls, everyone smiling gleefully. Once finally pulling apart, Emma grabbed Sammi's duffle off her shoulders, playing a great hostess.

"We've missed you so much," said Sabrina, kissing Sammi on her temple.

"Come on and welcome to our very adult apartment," joked Emma, swinging her arm around Sammi's shoulders, walking into the apartment. It was perfect for Emma and Sabrina, enough space for both with extra for Sammi. Anyone who visited could see the elements of a future lawyer and a star athlete, a mix of color and neatness. Sammi admired the decor from every corner, noting the purple sofa and accent chair in the living room.

"I like everything. You girls really got the place up and pretty," said Sammi, dropping herself on the sofa.

"Thanks, we did have a year to get it clean for you," teased Sabrina with a smirk, sitting down on an accent chair. Sammi glared at her, matching Sabrina's smirk as Emma took the duffle bag to her room.

"Ha. Ha. I just wanted to give you two all the time in the world,"

"In that case, you better love every single corner of this place," said Emma, prospering herself next to Sammi. "But enough about this place! How's San Francisco? Is it great and gay as I imagine?" asked Emma with a goofy smile.

"Is school going great for you? I know my mom wanted me to move there for college," asked Sabrina, almost on the edge of her seat.

"Are the nightclubs totally amazing like I hear? We should go to one when we visit next month!" exclaimed Emma.

Sammi only looked down at her hands, checking her nail polish with a forced thin smile on. She shrugged her shoulders, trying her best to think of something great. "San Fran's pretty, don't get me wrong, but it's so… cramped and stiff. It's nothing but an overpriced tiny island," scuffed Sammi, pouting at Emma and Sabrina.

"Really? You made it sound so nice on the phone when we'd call," said Sabrina, scrunching her brows together.

"I also make those phone calls short if you two recall," said Sammi, Sabrina and Emma exchange worried looks. "The only nice thing I can think of was the food. Great Japanese restaurants. But school is school. One year down, one more to go. The people I've met have been incredibly rude. One was some Christian freak who said the boys were satanic, and I wasn't any better hanging out with them,"

"Wow. Wait until you tell her you like to hang out with a lesbian," joked Emma, earning a smile from Sammi. "Sam, you should've said something about not being happy. We could've gone up and hung out for a weekend," Emma suggested.

"And brought some company with us," said Sabrina, pressing her lips firmly together.

"You'd really make Emma sit in a car with her ex? Even if they were my sister?" teased Sammi.

"No, I think she was talking about another ex," said Emma, biting the edge of her thumbnail. "And not a blonde ex,"

Sammi looked back down at her hands, grabbing a pillow to hug. "I think Nikki is already pretty busy with his new girlfriend. He wouldn't want to come to San Francisco," shrugged Sammi.

"You sure? I think he would drop everything if we asked him to tag along. The guys haven't been on tour yet," said Sabrina.

"Yep. I'm sure. Nikki was never a fan of San Francisco,"

"Sabrina is right about Nikki dropping everything to see you, Sammi. It wouldn't matter if he has a girlfriend or not. He hasn't seen you in a year or talked to you-"

"He's tried, mumbled Sammi.

"What?" asked Emma, scrunching her eyebrows deeper.

"He tried and I tried, but I just fucked it up," sighed Sammi with a shaky breath.

"Sammi, please talk to us," said Sabrina, leaning forward on her legs, hands closed.

Sammi sighed out, resting her head from the side in the palm of her hand. "Nona passed away. Nikki left a voicemail, sounding messed up and I didn't do anything about it. I didn't call him to check in on him. I didn't call his grandfather to check in on him. I didn't do anything. I would call him in the middle of the night and then hang up right away after I first moved. He would be high," said Sammi, wiping away the forming tear that could fall.

"Sam," said Emma softly, reaching out to hold Sammi's hand.

"Please don't tell me I didn't fuck up because I did," pleased Sammi, looking at Emma and Sabrina.

"Okay, the both of you have had bad communication skills, but it still isn't considered fucked up ," said Sabrina. "You're home for a month. Maybe now it's a better time to speak to him,"

Sammi shook her head. "There's more than just that. I slept with Vince after we got drunk," admitted Sammi. "I fucked up,"

Sabrina and Emma stared at Sammi for a moment, glancing at each other to find something to say. "How bad do you feel about having sex with Vince?" asked Sabrina.

"S,"

"No Em, I'm just asking a question. Sammi, why did you sleep with Vince? And why did you feel bad afterward?" asked Sabrina again, this time in a stern voice.

"Because it didn't feel right after I sobered up. There were no rekindled feelings within me for the person I dated. I was drunk and Vince kept saying how great Nikki was doing. He didn't sleep with me because he missed me. It felt like he just wanted to get back at Nikki," said Sammi running a hand down her face.

"Did Vince tell Nikki?" asked Emma.

"I don't know. When we spoke, I told him it was a one-time thing and to keep it between us," said Sammi.

"I still think you should talk to Nikki," suggested Sabrina.

"You're going to have to someday," said Emma, swinging her arm around Sammi's shoulders, bringing her in for a hug.

"I know. I have to do it next Saturday," groaned Sammi. "Tommy's going to throw a party before the guys leave on tour and I have to go,"

"You mean we have to go," added Emma, Sammi scrunching her brows together. "You seriously think we're just going to let you be alone where Nikki is? What kind of friends do you think we are," teased Emma, smiling at Sammi.

Sabrina walked over to the sofa, perching herself on the sofa's armrest, placing her chin on the crown of Sammi's hair. "You'll be fine. Things may seem like shit right now but I promise you, there's always a glimmer of light after a storm," said Sabrina. Sammi only smiled at the two girls, nerves slowly thawing out and relaxing.

June 13th

"What time does Tommy want us to show up?" shouted Sabrina from her bedroom into the hallway, scowling down at the multiple outfits on her bed. Sammi shuffled into Sabrina's room, undoing the last hair roller from her dark locks.

"He said 8:30," answered Sammi, seeing a digital clock read 8:40. When it came to times for parties, they were only a suggestion for the girls. Tommy never meant the time he really said. Sammi scanned the bed before picking up a blue strapless dress. "You should wear this one. It's a nice summer color,"

"So happy to have you help with my little dilemmas," smiled Sabrina, grabbing the dress to change in the private bathroom. "Is Emma ready?" Sabrina shouted through the restroom.

"Yeah, I just needed to finish straightening my hair," entered Emma, ready to go in her purple jumpsuit. "Are you ready, Sammi?" asked Emma.

Sammi scrunched her brows together. "Oh yeah, I'm already dressed. I only need my heels,"

"I don't mean physically ready even though I love that black dress. I meant ready to see the guys again. Specifically a certain bassist,"

Sammi pursed her lips out. "No, but it's going happen sooner or later,"

"That's the spirit! I'll call us a cab while Sabrina's changing. Remember it's still going to be a fun night!" cheerfully said, Emma.

"If you say so," said Sammi with hesitation.

From the grand driveway, guests from the party scenes had already flooded the mansion, either inside or outside. The girls walked up the front steps, smiling politely and maneuvering past people they didn't know until inside. Sammi scanned the foyer and living room, hesitant to find familiar faces just yet. It wasn't until Sammi heard her name yelled out in a high pitched voice.

"Sammi! Finally, you're here!" yelled out Heather in excitement, walking as fast as she could in her heels. She swiftly hugged Sammi tightly, ignoring the presence of Emma and Sabrina. Sammi embraced back with less enthusiasm but still happy to see her sister-in-law. "It's been so long! I have missed you so much!" said Heather, releasing Sammi from her grip. "Did you all just get here? Let's go to the kitchen for a drink!" suggested Heather, grabbing Sammi's hand, pulling her further into the house. Sammi flashed anxious wide eyes at Emma and Sabrina, the two only shrugging their shoulders and following. A few people began to recognize Sammi as the four passed through, almost remembering Tommy's other sister. The kitchen wasn't better in the number of people, some others herding in the quarters. Heather let go of Sammi, playing hostess, as she filled up three glasses of expensive champagne. Soon another person in the herd approached the absent girl, clearing his throat to gain her attention. Sammi's eyes lit up, as did her smile when realizing who it was.

"Mick!" exclaimed Sammi.

"How have you been, Little One?" said Mick, smiling his best as the two exchanged a small hug. "I'm not one to be needy, but how come I haven't heard much from you?"

Sammi shrugged her shoulders. "School has been kicking my ass. It's harder than I forgot," joked Sammi.

"I'm happy that's your reason. It's been quiet without you,"

"How can it be so quiet? I'm the least crazy out all of you," teased Sammi.

Mick shrugged his shoulders. "Quiet for me at least,"

"Here you go, Sammi. Heather had to find Tommy," said Sabrina, passing her the champagne glass.

"Hey, Mick! Enjoying the party?" asked Emma, forming a small circle between the four.

"As much as I can for a little while. I'm just waiting for my girl to stop by then I'm taking off," said Mick, earning wide eyes from all the girls.

"You have a girlfriend?" asked Sabrina with an amused smile.

"That's so nice!" said Emma.

"Who is she?" asked Sammi, cocking a raised eyebrow.

Mick began to smirk, taking a sip of his alcohol of choice. "Her name's Emerson. She's a backup singer, but please don't tell the guys. The three of you can't tell them,"

The girls all scrunched their brows at Mick. "Why? Is she someone they know?" asked Emma.

"We hired her to tour with us. That's how we met. But I know they'll just bust my balls for liking her,"

"Mick, you shouldn't let the guys dictate who you want to like. If you really like this girl then they're just going to have to deal with it," advised Sabrina.

"Unless she's mean to you then we're going to have a problem," said Sammi, winking at Mick.

Mick scuffed at the girls. "Whatever just please keep it yourselves, for me. That is all I ask,"

"Promise," the girls said in unison.

"Thank you. Come on let's find your brother and sister, they've been wondering about you," said Mick, taking the lead to leave the stuffy kitchen. Right as Sammi stepped out, her eyes couldn't help but fall directly onto a man far away, almost making her freeze. Nikki staring right at her, back against the wall. Sammi swallowed hard, continuing to follow Mick and the girls, eyes looking down. This didn't stop Nikki; he followed every step Sammi took until disappearing behind a wall. Sammi couldn't help but finish the champagne in one gulp, placing the glass on a random table.

"Sammi! Finally! I was starting to think you were going to show up!" yelled out Tommy in excitement, hugging the youngest sister. "And ladies, always lovely to see the two of you!" Emma and Sabrina giggling alongside Tommy. Athena appeared right past Emma, only smirking at her without a word. She kissed Sammi on the cheek, passing her a refreshed drink of vodka. "I see Mick got to you before anyone else. Let me get Vince!"

"Tommy, it's cool. I have all night to talk to people," said Sammi, biting her lip.

"Besides Vince is wrapped around a new blondie's finger," added Mick, sitting down on a nearby sofa.

"Vince got a new girlfriend?" asked Sammi.

Tommy shrugged his shoulders. "She's basically a look-like of Sharise. I give it two months while we're on the road,"

"When did you know about this?" Sammi asked Athena.

"About an hour ago when he walked through the door. She seems like a nice girl if I'm being honest," said Athena.

As if his ears were burning, Vince sturt his way to the group with a young woman wrapped around him. "Sam! What a surprise!" said Vince with excitement. Tommy shot a look between Athena and the girls, sitting down beside Mick. "Babe, this is Sammi. Tommy's other sister I was telling you about,"

"Hi, I'm Hayley. I've heard a lot about you," said Hayley extending out a hand, trying her best to not seem uncomfortable.

Sammi smiled politely, accepting the handshake to not be rude. "All good things I hope,"

"Of course all good. I'd never talk bad about you," said Vince, smirking lustfully at Sammi.

"Yeah, like how smart and nice you are," said Hayley. The tension between the two girls was incredibly thick. Anyone could cut it with a knife. Suddenly, the music changed from its rock sound to a techno beat, blaring even louder than before. Tommy jumped up to question, only to let out an annoyed groan when seeing a wild hair woman jump on the coffee table in the middle of the room. To the music's beat, the woman danced faster and faster, almost too fast for the music. Emma couldn't help but curl her lip at the woman, wrinkling her brows at Tommy. Sammi hitched her breath, caught in her throat when realizing it was Veronica.

"Who the hell is that?" asked Emma.

"Nikki's new girlfriend," groaned Tommy, pouring some whiskey into his solo cup. "She's a bitch," he whispered to the girls, noting the somber expression from Sammi.

"I don't know how Sixx deals with that. Come on, babe, let's go out to the pool," said Vince, wrapping his arm around Hayley's waist. "Later, Sam," winked Vince.

Sammi remained silent amongst everyone, sinking into the sofa to watch the unfortunate show display in front of her. People around the grand living room gathered to watch Veronica, snickers from other women as they watched. Muttered comments going around on the visible state of Veronica being high on some type of drug. This went on longer than anyone wanted, Sammi beginning to wonder if anyone had the heart to stop her. Most found it entertaining, while others didn't. Sammi glanced around the room, wondering where Nikki was during all of this. It wasn't until Heather stomped up to Tommy, bringing him down to her level to whisper in his ear. Sammi was able to read the anger on Heather's face, seeing her fold in her arms right at her husband. Tommy shook his head, marching straight to Veronica, and one swoop brought her off the table, clinging onto Veronica. Tommy tried his best to shuffle out of the living room even when it was becoming difficult.

"Let go of me you asshole! You demon!" shouted Veronica, her weak legs making her almost sink to the floor. As Tommy lifted Veronica back on her feet, Nikki appeared from thin air confused. Tommy couldn't help but throw the intoxicated girl at his best friend. Nikki didn't bother to help her stand on her two feet, letting Veronica stumble by his feet. Sammi could see the three frowning at Nikki's careless attitude toward Veronica.

"Was she dancing again?" asked Nikki, scowling down at Veronica.

"Yeah. Now can you please watch your chick? Some of us are trying to enjoy our night," said Tommy, going to the stereos to finally switch the music to something more bearable. He walked over to Heather with his classic Tommy smile, kissing her on the lips to melt any anger away. Grabbing Veronica by her arm, Nikki dragged her up on her feet, quickly turning away from all staring eyes. Nikki grinds hard his teeth when his eyes fell on Sammi for the second time of the night, being able to see the worry from her. The dysfunctional couple disappeared from within the house, everyone soon forgetting about the little show—everyone except for Sammi. Sammi stared down at her drink, Sabrina sitting right next to her.

"Ready to talk to him?" asked Sabrina?

Sammi bit the inside of her cheek, glancing up in the direction of where Nikki was. "Will I ever be?" scuffed Sammi, taking a swing from whatever was in her cup.

"Probably not, but it wouldn't hurt to try another time. Nikki already saw you. He knows you're here. And he's leaving in a couple of days. I'm only suggesting because I care about you,"

"I know. I'll be right back," said Sammi, passing Sabrina her cup as she stood up while fixing her short dress.

Sabrina wrinkled her brows at Sammi. "You're going to talk to him now?"

"No, but if I just happen to go missing please come find me," answered Sammi, carefully passing through the sea of people.

"Why do you keep making a scene everywhere we go?" whispered Nikki from behind the closed door. Sammi paused from touching up her makeup in the mirror, remaining completely still and silent to listen. "You're high again aren't you?" asked Nikki. Sammi pressed her ear to the door to listen better. She knew there was no point in hiding in the bathroom, thinking of Emma and Sabrina looking for her.

"So what if I am? It's a party!" shouted Veronica.

"That I didn't invite you to!" said Nikki. The silence between the two soon followed for a moment, Sammi slowly opening the door. She tried her best to not make her heels clank loud on the tile, walking into the hallway with small steps. The hallway's right end was utterly empty, causing Sammi to drop the cautious act as she shut the bathroom door behind her. "Sammi?" said Nikki, Sammi jumping in her skin when hearing her name. She peered over her shoulder, Nikki looking dead at her for the third time, somewhat softer finally. Veronica leaned slouched against the wall with a deadly stare, unhappy to see Sammi even if she was a stranger. It was clear to Sammi Nikki looked better than most days, Veronica appearing to be the only one under something. Sammi didn't peep a word, unable to say anything to Nikki, especially with his new girlfriend by his side.

"I know who you are," slurred Veronica, stumbling on her feet to regain balance, dodging Nikki's attempt to hold her down. She fought the urge to fall onto the floor, wanting to be right in Sammi's face. Sammi couldn't say or do anything, freezing at the taller woman looking down on her. Sammi could see the pin needle pupils in Veronica's eyes. "I know exactly who you are. You're the one corrupting Nikki. The one corrupting everyone," Sammi scrunched her brows deep together, looking past Veronica to Nikki. "No! Look at me! You're nothing but a devil. A devil!" shouted Veronica, inching closer to Sammi's face. Before having the chance to grip onto Sammi's bare arms, Nikki yanked Veronica down to the floor with no care if she got hurt.

"Don't fucking talk to her! You don't get to talk to her!" yelled Nikki at Veronica, scowling at her. Veronica laid flat down on her back, pouting up at Nikki. Nikki didn't care about Veronica's state of being in this moment, only wretched when Sammi appeared scared. "Leave her alone and leave me alone," Nikki said, grasping Sammi's arm lightly as he led them away from Veronica. Sammi couldn't help look back at Veronica, wondering if she had any idea of what was really happening. Nikki took Sammi to another empty hallway, the music almost a bit louder from where they stood. Sammi rested against the wall, unable to look Nikki in the eye even when she could feel Nikki's on her. "Got nothing to say?" asked Nikki.

"Thank you," mumbled Sammi, looking down at her feet.

Nikki scoffed, shaking his head. "Is that really all?" Sammi stayed silent. Nikki stepped closer to Sammi, lightly taking his hands to cup Sammi's cheeks, cradling her face. He brought her eyes to meet his, a loving brown meeting a foggy hazel. Just from the simple tough of something so innocent, a flush of pink stained Sammi's cheeks. Nikki couldn't help but crack a small smile, missing the sweet face. Alas, the unfortunate always comes. "I know you and Vince had sex," said Nikki, dropping his hands and stepping back.

"What?" uttered Sammi, lips parting in shock, deep wrinkles setting in between her brows.

Nikki only shrugged his shoulders. "I guess you aren't that great anymore to keep him around," said Nikki.

Before Sammi could say anything, Nikki headed straight for the front of the house, hands in his pocket as he ignored everyone. Everything came like a tsunami wave; all Sammi could see was red. Instead of beginning to cry, Sammi marched her way through the party, ignoring the calls of her name from Athena or Sabrina. When reaching the outside, Sammi was able to find Vince in a short second, making a fast b-line to him. Vince didn't pay any attention to his surroundings, talking to a friend by the pool without Hayley. Vince was soon heavily pushed into the body of water in a blink, drink flying out of his hand. When he came up to the surface, Vince was ready to fight until realizing Sammi was scowling down at him.

"Sammi, what the fuck!?" yelled Vince. Tommy and Athena were quick to run out to get Sammi, Sammi pushing away their grasps.

Hayley rushed to Vince's side. "What's wrong with you?!" asked Hayley.

"Why did you tell Nikki?!" screamed Sammi. "You promised!" Vince bit his lip, looking at everyone but Sammi. "Huh?!"

"Sam," whispered Athena, softly pushing her away from the edge of the pool. Tommy pulled Vince up out of the water, glaring right at him for answers.

"Why are you so mad you slept with me?!" asked Vince, Athena, and Tommy, eyes opening wide at Sammi.

"Because it was a drunk mistake!" shouted Sammi. She shook her head at Vince. "You didn't give a shit about me," spit Sammi.

"You had sex with Vince?" asked Athena, concerned. Sammi didn't give an answer.

Emma and Sabrina delicately put a hand on Sammi's shoulders, being the only people who didn't get shoved off. "Sam, we're going home," ordered Emma, grabbing her hand as she shot daggers at Vince. Sammi didn't protest, letting the girls engulf her in protection from stares. They didn't need anyone to judge Sammi as she was only a stranger to everyone. Mick had already left from the madness, knowing he would hear from the grapevine. Once the girls were in a cab, Emma turned to Sammi. "Are you finally going to talk to Nikki? And this time like adults?" Sammi only dropped her head against the fuzzy middle seat, nodding with another word.

13 notes · View notes

mrssarablack · 3 years

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1. What’s your sexual orientation?

Heterosexual.

2. What are you obsessed with right now?

Hmm, I really don't know. I have my usual things that would qualify but my "obsessions" but they don't often consume me to a high degree, so I have a hard time dubbing anything I like a full blown obsession.

That being said, it's probably tiktok. The obsession of the moment, I find myself on the app entirely too much because it's just a fun party and oh the things that lead to little research dives are fascinating. Mostly it's the musicians that get me. I love creativity and am forever amazed by the collaborations and straight magic people make in the time allotted... but it takes up way too much of my time when it really shouldn't. I have better things I could be doing.

3. Ever done any drugs?

Yup.

4. What piercings do you want?

None. My ears are pierced to the degree I like and I don't really desire anything else to be pierced.

5. How many people have you kissed?

Enough.

6. Describe your dream home.

The house I live in outdoes anything I could possibly come up with. I'm very happy with my home, but I'd be happy most anywhere. If I'm honest, I'm a bit Aladdin-like when it comes to living arrangements. My dream home list, if I only considered myself, is the very low bar of a roof over my head that has a beautiful view. Bonus it has a pool but it's not a requirement.

Clearly, where I live outdoes that by a longshot and I'm very lucky to have the things I have. I'm not unaware of that fact.

7. Who are you jealous of?

There is no way for this not to sound like a humble brag in my head, but no one. I've never been the jealous type. There's so much unnecessary energy in wanting what someone else has and jealousy is a negative you just don't need in your life. It's much better to focus on your own joy and not worry about what others are doing.

8. What’s your favorite show to binge?

Schitt's Creek

9. Do you watch porn?

I have.

10. Do you have a secret sideblog?

No, I don't.

11. If you could teleport anywhere in the world right now, where would you go?

I don't know, I'm good, but somewhere warm and with a beach, I guess?

12. What’s one of your fantasies?

I really only have one and that's of my mother apologizing for what she did.

13. Do you have/would you get your nipples pierced?

Nope.

14. How would you spend a million dollars?

I probably wouldn't.

15. Are you in a relationship?

Yes

16. Do you follow porn blogs?

No, but I'm pretty sure some have followed me...🙄

17. Are you angry with anyone right now?

My mother. It ebbs and flows between anger and indifference. Depends on the thoughts I'm having surrounding the why of it.

18. What tattoos do you want?

I don't want any.

19. If you could change your name, would you? What would you change it to?

Maybe? But probably not. I don't particularly like my name. It's kind of dull, if I'm honest, but at the same time it's my name and I don't have a replacement in my head for it. So, I'm Sara and I'll forever be Sara. It's alright.

20. What is something you’re obsessed with?

I already answered this, but I suppose my general obsession is pokemon. I like the games and the lore. The whole thing is fun and I enjoy it a lot.

21. Describe your best friend.

She's like sunshine. She's bubbly and sweet. Anna has optimism for days. She can be a little naive but people also see naivety in what is actually her stubbornness. She won't give up on people even if she should. She sees good in almost everything but she isn't unaware that bad exists.

And because of this her kindness shines. She'd help a stranger without hesitation or a need for anything back. She very much is a person who would stick her neck out to save a life. She brings out the best in people and makes it look effortless. She is kind and caring but has a determination that can tackle damn near anything that becomes an obstacle. Anna's a force to reckon with and not many people realize this truth.

22. Tag someone you think is hot.

@nikolascblack

Did you really think I'd pick someone else?

23. Who are five of your favorite bands/musical artists?

This list alternates with moods. I love so many bands and artists. But right now the top five are:

Nikolas Black

AJR

The Beatles

Ok One Rock

P!nk

24. What are three places you want to travel?

I really am that person if given the chance to just pick a plane and go I'd probably take it. I just want to experience all the places so here are the first regions that came to mind...

Italy (like all of it)

Spain/ Barcelona

South of France

25. Describe your perfect Friday night.

It's getting warmer so, right now, it's an evening with Nikolas on our back patio. Fire up the grill and enjoy a meal outdoors. Maybe spend some time in the pool. End the evening with a warm blanket and a cuddle.

26. What’s your favorite season?

Summer. My skin may take issue with the sun but I like it best when it's warm and sunny and being outside.

27. What’s your pet peeve?

When I am listening to music… I probably don't want to talk to you. Leave me alone. I do not like when I'm interrupted when my music is on.

Also, if I'm doing art or sewing … be aware I might get snippy if you choose to interrupt my flow. I like reaching stopping points before I'm asked to change gears.

28. Who is the funniest person you know?

Probably Jakub. He's the king of one liners and his sass gets me.

29. What’s the most overrated movie?

I'd say Avatar, was not impressed by space Pocahontas….

30. Tag someone you want to talk to but have been too shy to message.

... um... I'm not really the shy type. If I wanna get to know someone.... I'm going to be friendly to them and start a conversation.

31. Do you like paper books or ebooks better?

Paper books but I do register I read more electronic ones. The library system is nice in that format… when I actually finish a book. I don't read that fast so I have like 3 waitlisted at any given time three or four times over just so I can finish it … 😅

32. If you could live in a fictional world, what world would you pick?

Pokemon?

33. If money was no object, what would your wardrobe be like?

I dislike questions that make me feel like I'm bragging. Or that could be seen as such but my wardrobe wouldn't really change because my boyfriend allows me to use his funds from time to time to have the nicer clothing items I like. Which sit right alongside my jeans I got from TJ Maxx. Legitimately, it probably wouldn't change at all.

34. What’s your coffee order?

Cold brew or if it's cold I typically, latte it's usually a hazelnut

35. Do you have a crush on anyone?

No.

36. Do you still have feelings for any of your exes?

I don't. Most of them were pretty shit people. So, yeah… nope, I don't think much on them at all really.

37. Have any tattoos?

38. Do you drink?

Occasionally

39. Are you a virgin?

Heh… no.

40. Do you have a crush on any of your mutuals?

Nope

41. How many followers do you have?

Um… I have no idea. Not many that's for sure.

42. Describe the hottest person you know.

I did this once. I'm not going to objectify him again. So instead:

43. What’s your guilty pleasure?

True crime documentaries or horror movies. I do not watch them often. Nikolas isn't into it and I'm not going to be the ass that takes the tv and makes him watch something he doesn't like. So, I save it for when I am alone.

44. Do you read erotica?

I have but I don't seek it out. Typically the erotica I have read has been tucked away in a romance novel and was far more than I expected it to go from the synopsis or anything before that point.

45. What’s the worst date you’ve ever been on?

I have to go with the one where it was clear he asked me out as some sort of revenge date. His ex-girlfriend was at the location with friends and he kept looking over at her trying to see her reaction. It was bad and I dismissed myself as quickly as I could.

46. How many people do you follow?

Again, I don't know. I know it's mostly friends and artists or designers but I'm too lazy to look up the number because I don't care.

47. If you could marry any celebrity, who would you pick?

This guy right here:

48. Describe your ideal partner.

There's a theme here...

49. Who do you text the most?

Anna? Our friend text line is usually an all day back and forth.

50. What’s your favorite kind of weather?

Sunny and warm. Weather that screams "beach day"

#sara reynolds #random questions #bored #been a while since ive done this #oc #roleplay

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jam-is-my-food · 3 years

Note

writing asks. all of them. ( for 50 uhh just write a paragraph about how hot emmy raver-lampman is in a suit please and thank you </3 )

fUCK YOU NESSIE

THAT’S IT IM DOING IT JUST TO SPITE YOU

this is gonna be long asf click keep reading at risk of death or boredom

1. Do you listen to music when you write?

not usually, it's distracting

2. Are you a pantser or plotter?

naturally pantser but if i wanna actually finish smth i gotta plot it hh

3. Computer or pen and paper?

computer i'm not a boOmer /j i so am

4. Have you ever been published, or do you want to be published?

bitch i wiSh

actually technically i was published in this anthology thing once? and i think i have a piece in a magazine somewhere on the internet i forget those are cool

but yeah bye getting a novel published is my d r e a m (gotta write a novel first tho lawl)

5. How much writing do you get done on an average day?

n o t m u c h

unless i get one of my bUrsts aka finishing a 2.3K almoons chapter before 8am the other week after procrastinating it for like two months

but yeah jdsghliuedskj it um depends often none

6. Single or multiple POV?

i answered that for kiri so i'll just copy paste it over loll

mmm it depends. usually i do single? but i do do multiple occasionally. i almost never do alternating chapters, though, it’s usually more like part one is narrated by person a, part two person b etc.

7. Standalone or series?

baha like i could ever write a series (please, please be jinxing yourself rn refster) aside from that one trilogy when i was 7 but uh yeah atm just standalones but a series would be so cool in future

8. Oldest WIP

the aforementioned trilogy. chronicles of clara. it is incREDIBLE. 10/10. so good. so, so good.

9. Current WIP

i haven't actually mentioned it on tumblr yet but hehehe it's called the wordweaver's apprentice it's fantasy and i'm v excited about it :DD that was ooc but :DD

10. Do you set yourself deadlines?

(also answered for kiri, copy-pasting over)

hahahahhahahuhdkjashdglauhsdaugediuskjlkehdsgihkdskhgdkjx

i? try?

it does not go well?

but then i never finish my projects?

send help pls im dying

11. Books and/or authors who influenced you the most

lmao the list is too long

12. Describe your perfect writing space

somewhere w/o distractions

13. Describe your writing process from idea to polished

hm. idea. that's cool. that's cool. write it down. hype myself up. forget about it within a week.

el em mayo

but like

f r LMAO

okay but fr fr idk i don't usually finish stuff but it'd be idea, brainstorm, plot (sort of), write, agonize, write, finish, throw in the other direction and never touch again bc revision whos she

14. How do you deal with self-doubts?

cry and spam my friends

15. How do you deal with writer’s block?

i don’t - mm. i don’t tend to get writer’s block? or like - idk what to classify as writer’s block? bc sometimes i get blocked for a certain story, but then i get really into like poetry or sum for a week so it’s fine idk

16. How many drafts do you need until you’re satisfied with a project?

o n e as i said i don't - revision is a no

17. What writing habits or rituals do you have?

uHhHhhhhh idk???

18. If you could collaborate with anyone, who would it be, and what would you write about?

*laughs in gfc*

19. How do you keep yourself motivated?

i don't. if you have any ideas please hmu i need it.

20. How many WIPs and story ideas do you have?

m a n y.

21. Who is/are your favourite character(s) to write?

mmmmmmmmm i love cass i haven't written her in too long but i think she's probably my most well-done character to date and i'm so proud of her badkghewiludkjs

22. Who is/are your favourite pairing(s) to write?

c y i l l

though possible imeini (ship name needs revision) in future we shall see (from twa) (the aforementioned newish wip)

23. Favourite author

there are Many

24. Favourite genre to write and read

fantasy maybe? ooh dystopia is fun

25. Favourite part of writing

everything about it when i'm motivated hh, my problem is getting more motivation

26. Favourite writing program

oh idk huh?

27. Favourite line/scene

idk?

28. Favourite side character

j o o s t

29. Favourite villain

i def have one but i forget

30. Favourite idea you haven’t started on yet

too many

31. Least favourite part of writing

motivating myself :/

32. Most difficult character to write

mmmm i'm not really in the throes of a wip atm so idk

33. Have you ever killed a main character?

yessir

34. What was the hardest scene you ever had to write?

drunk will was surprisingly difficult in a fun way. def not the hardest but yeah

35. What scene/story are you least looking forward to writing?

god idk

36. Last sentence you wrote

And then Mei was gone, and in the space that she'd filled, Imani whispered, "I wish I was like you."

37. First sentence or your current WIP

It is said that when we came to this stretch of Tatys land, it was empty.

38. Weirdest story idea you’ve ever had

mm there was one about anthropomorphic chickens battling sentient fruits, the fruits in question also being six-year olds

39. Weirdest character concept you’ve ever had

s e e a b o v e

40. Share some backstory for one of your characters

cass's mom used to have a drug problem & she would leave her alone for long stretches of time, she went to rehab and is now sober but it's where cass gets her abandonment issues from

41. Any advice for new/beginning/young writers?

just write! no one taught me how to do anything, and there's no rules per se, aside from basic grammatical stuff. do what you wanna do, don't worry about others' reactions. this is cliche asf but true.

42. How do you feel about love triangles?

mostly gross, but they can be good.

43. What do you do if/when characters don’t follow the outline?

adapt. i g o w i t h t h e f l o w.

44. How much research do you do?

not much usually, depends on the genre of story. i do as much as i feel i need to. and ofc i have the random writer search history.

45. How much world building do you do?

in the past, not much. twa (once again my new wip) is fantasy, though, so i' m attempting to remedy that.

46. Do you reread your own stories?

i do! it's fun to look back at them after a few years and see how much i've improved.

47. Best way to procrastinate

random character headcanons/doodle writey spurt thingies

48. What’s the most self-insert character/scene you’ve ever written?

bAHA this one scene in the cHrOniCLeS of cLaRa book two when this girl lisa who was 100% self-insert got annoyed at her little sister daisy (sister-insert) for chewing too loudly and then proceeded to use her wAtEr pOwErs to like flood the house. that part was less self-insert.

49. Which character would you most want to be friends with, if they were real?

bye that's so hard. c a d m u s & l a u r e n t tho cinnamon rolls are liFE.

50. Write a paragraph about how hot emmy raver-lampman is in a suit please and thank you

i don't gotta write my own bitch i have everything i need to plagiarize from right here

"Raver-Lampman’s enthusiasm is contagious. So is her laugh. It comes from deep inside, just like her voice, and it rings out — ricocheting off furniture and walls. Her head is shaved, all except for a distinctive swath of tight curls on the top and left side of her head. She has the tiniest septum ring in her nose, and a tattoo of what looks like a musical note behind her right ear."

- the clearly gay jessica belt

thank you for the ASKS darLING and thank you if you read this idk why or whether you're okay but yup

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ggukcangetit · 4 years

Text

Dreamcatchers Chap 2

Pairing: jungkook x oc

Synopsis: DI Jeon didn’t need a new partner. Unfortunately, his superiors felt otherwise; especially considering the extremely high-profile murder that had just taken place in the port city. Recent transfer, DI Choi Yuri finds herself confronted with a new cityscape, unfamiliar people, a hostile partner, and a homicide that is certain to bring back unpleasant memories.

Rating: NC-17

Genre/AU: fluff/action/mystery | detective! au | police!jungkook, police!oc

Word Count: 2k

Warnings: mentions of violence, alcohol, blood, drugs, death. basically stuff you’d associate with a murder mystery/crime drama.

Chapters: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5

Acknowledgement: shoutout to @stutterfly for designing this beautiful banner which i am completely in love with and stare at for no particular reason throughout the day

A/N: second chapter! i was planning to post a chapter each friday but got slightly delayed this week. reminding everyone that this story features a named oc because i’m still very unfamiliar with writing second person reader inserts. i’m not aiming for strict accuracy in this story, and all criminal investigation/forensics knowledge i have has been gathered by watching crime drama/procedural dramas! my knowledge of geography is also not totally accurate so apologies for that. once again, one thing right by @hobios prompted me to write a police inspector! jungkook story. would highly recommend reading that because it’s probably one of my most favorite pieces of writing!

17th December

Yuri walked into the station at 7 am the next day and found that it was surprisingly empty. She had brought a few small things to keep at her desk - a picture of her parents, a couple of pens, a small sticky notepad, and a mason jar filled with snacks. She smiled to herself as she recalled how her old colleagues always used to teased her about the mason jar.

“Good morning, DI Choi! Hope you’re settling in properly.” Seulgi came over with two cups of coffee and placed one in front of her.

“Oh, thank you! I forgot to get coffee on my way here,” Yuri replied with a smile. “And please, let’s not be so formal. Call me Yuri.”

“Alright then, Yuri, please call me Seulgi!”

Yuri was grateful to see a friendly face at the station. She hadn’t slept a wink the previous night, and had been dreading having to see Jeon in the morning.

“You’re here really early,” continued Seulgi. “I’m sure Chief Inspector Goh will be very impressed.”

“Ah no, it’s nothing like that.” Yuri brushed it off with a laugh. “We’re bringing in a witness today. I just wanted to orient myself with the station before we questioned him.”

“Oh? A witness?”

“Hmm.” Yuri swirled the contents of the cup in her hand, looking at it absentmindedly. “We couldn’t bring him in last night, unfortunately.”

“I see. Oh, before I forget,” said Seulgi, checking something on her phone. “The autopsy should be ready by this afternoon. That should hopefully help you a bit.”

“Perfect! I think we can start creating a proper timeline once we have the results.”

“I’ll leave you to it then, Yuri,” said Seulgi. “I have to get back to the lab.”

Yuri sighed and leaned her head back against the headrest of the station’s revolving chair. She recalled the interview with Mr. Kang the previous day; he hadn’t exactly been uncooperative, but something about his manner was odd. The absence of grief might not be indicative of guilt, but it definitely hinted at something lying underneath his polished words.

“DI Jeon? DI Choi?” Jisoo came over with an uncomfortable expression on her face. “We’ve brought in Mr. Park. He’s waiting in interview room #3.”

Yuri wondered why Jisoo looked so disturbed. Then again, she had only met the junior officer for the first time the previous day; she really didn’t know anything about her or her usual disposition.

“Don’t accept things from people for the sake of being polite.” Jeon brushed past her, the frown firmly embedded on her face.

“What?” Yuri quickly put her phone into her pocket and followed him.

“The coffee,” he said, as if self-explanatory.

“What about it?”

“You don’t like it. You aren’t going to drink it. But you’re still holding onto it because Seulgi gave it to you. Just dump it in the trash. We don’t have time for unnecessary courtesy, DI Choi. It’s a hindrance.”

Although his tone was hard and tinged with irritation, Yuri realised that Jeon was right. She had taken one sip of the coffee in front of Seulgi, but the truth was that she hated plain black coffee. Indeed, the last 15 minutes had been spent swirling the contents of the cup but never taking a sip. Yet, Jeon had noticed and somehow come to the right conclusion. Was she really so easy to read? A tiny bubble of annoyance began growing inside Yuri - what gave Jeon the right to comment on her choice of beverage, or anything for that matter!

Interview room #3 was the largest one in the station. Yuri walked in to find a young man leaning back in the uncomfortable metal chair, looking like he was the one in charge. His silvery blond hair was parted in the middle matching the cold hue of his grey eyes and the pallor of his porcelain white skin. Everything about him looked frosty except, Yuri realised, the reddish pink of his rather plump lips.

Jeon sat down across from him, flipping open a thin file. “Thank you for coming in, Mr. Park. W-”

“Now now,” interrupted Park Jimin, his voice more soft and high-pitched than Yuri had expected. “We’ve known each other far too long for formalities, Jeongguk. You’ve been to almost every one of my New Year’s Eve parties, remember?”

Jeon clenched his teeth, a muscle ticking in his cheek. “As I was saying-”

“But I don’t believe we’ve met.” Jimin turned towards Yuri, the right side of his lips twitching upwards slightly. “I’m Park Jimin.”

Suddenly, Yuri felt uneasy. There was something about the way Park Jimin was looking at her that made her stomach feel queasy.

“DI Choi,” she said, gulping down the bile that threatened to rise inside her. “Can you tell us what you were doing on the night of December 15th, Mr. Park?”

“I can,” he said, leaning back once again. “But whether I will, is another question.”

The thing about Park Jimin was that he was being incredibly transparent about his desire to hinder the investigation in any way. On top of that, his gaze kept flitting towards Yuri - a fact that Jeon seemed completely oblivious to - and lingering for the briefest of moments.

“I’m asking you again, Mr. Park,” said Yuri, placing her arms on the table. “What were you doing on the night of December 15th?”

“I really don’t think that’s any of your business. Unless,” he paused, his lips lifting into a smirk. “You’re interested in joining me afterwards for a drink.”

“This is a murder investigation, Mr. Park! Stop propositioning the investigating detective and answer the question!” Jeon slammed his fist down on the table, a vein throbbing along the side of his neck.

“A murder investigation, huh?” The silver haired man finally made eye contact with Jeon, his eyes no longer flippant and suggestive. “Finally getting down to the facts, aren’t we?”

The air had grown considerably more tense, and Yuri sensed that there was definitely something about Park Jimin that she hadn’t read in his files.

“Who?”

“What?” Jeon clenched the fist that remained stiff on the table.

“Who’s murder are you investigating, Jeongguk?”

The balance of power in the room had tipped in favor of Park Jimin when Jeon reluctantly opened his file and took out a picture. Sliding it towards the other man, he leaned back into his chair and waited for the latter to finish looking at it.

“Kang Eunwoo was found dead in his home yesterday. His father says you visited him the previous night and were possibly the last person to see him alive.”

“No.” Park Jimin pushed the picture back towards them. His body language had stiffened considerably.

“No?”

“I didn’t visit him. I haven’t seen Eunwoo since the Grand Fundraiser Gala held at the end of November.”

“Then you won’t mind telling us where you were that night,” Jeon asked, folding his arms across his chest.

“I’m afraid not.”

“You’re not going to tell us where you were on the night of 15th December?”

“That is correct.”

“I insist you provide a statement of your movements, Mr. Park,” said Yuri, frowning slightly. “Things could get very tricky for you otherwise.”

“I’ll take my chances.”

xxx

“How long can we detain him?” Suho asked Jeon, glancing worriedly at the door to interview room #3.

“24 hours max,” said Jeon, checking his phone. “Unless we come across something more concrete connecting him to the case. Just because he’s being an asshole, doesn’t necessarily mean he’s guilty.”

“Doesn’t mean he’s not,” added Suho, with a shrug.

“Have you checked his bank records? Credit card usage?” asked Yuri. “We could try and construct a timeline with that - find out his whereabouts, where he went, what he did.”

“On it!” replied Suho with a grin.

Jeon, on the other hand, didn’t look too thrilled. He sat at his desk, flipping through some files that were clearly not part of the current case - judging by how many of the pages were dog-eared and worn from repeated examination.

“Why isn’t Jimin providing an alibi?” Yuri asked, recalling the trainwreck of an interview they had just completed. Jeon didn’t answer; the rustling of pages the only indication of his presence.

“If the Kangs and Parks are such bitter rivals, it probably gives him a strong motive. If he didn’t have anything to do with Eunwoo’s death, why is he refusing to tell us where he was?”

Silence.

“Unless, of course, he did have something to do with the death.” Yuri got up from her chair and peered over the partition between her and Jeon’s desks. “Something about him shifted after he saw the picture of Eunwoo.”

Yuri frowned, as Jeon continued to ignore her. Walking over to his desk, she tapped him on the shoulder a few times before he reluctantly turned towards her.

“What’s your problem, Jeon?”

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me. You’ve been an absolute dick since I joined yesterday. I’d chalk it up to a personality defect, if it weren’t for the things that Ahreum told me. So I’m asking you again,” she said through gritted teeth. “What exactly is your problem?”

Jeon shut the file and slammed it on his desk. Standing up straight, he was almost a head taller than Yuri. His strong brows emphasizing the ire in his dark eyes.

“I don’t need a newbie coming in and telling me what to do, and messing up the system.”

“I am not a newbie...” Yuri barely managed to contain her anger. “I haven’t told you what to do! And I damn well haven’t messed with your fucking system!”

“You really have no idea about my fucking system, Choi.” Jeon glared at her.

At any other point, the unfortunate choice of word order would have made Yuri cringe. But she was too angry to consider any sleazy innuendos Jeon was trying to throw into their argument.

“I don’t care what Ahreum said about you. You’re a humongous asshole and if this was any other situation, I would’ve walked the fuck out of here! But as it stands, I will be working here. And I will be working on this case. If you continue making things difficult for me-” she picked up the file Jeon had been reading in favor of answering her questions- “I’m gonna drop this off at Goh’s desk. Then you can say goodbye to whatever the fuck it is that you’re so obsessed with!”

“Don’t you dare.” He was standing very close to her now, his jaw hardening aggressively. “If you so much as touch that file again-”

Jeon was interrupted by someone clearing their throat. Seulgi stood a few feet away, looking slightly alarmed at the scene unfolding in front of her.

“Is everything okay?” she asked, uncertainly.

“What do you want?” snapped Jeon, snatching the file away from Yuri.

“I have the autopsy report.” Her expression still remained concerned, but she handed the file over to him nonetheless. “COD is blunt force trauma to the back of the head. It’s most likely that he hit his head on the granite mantle above the fireplace. Death was instantaneous so he must have hit it with considerable force - not something I’d attribute to an accidental fall. Time of death estimated between midnight and 1 am.”

“He was hosting a party that night,” said Yuri. “There was definitely plenty of alcohol present. Was he very drunk?”

“I’d say there was enough to loosen his inhibitions considerably, but not enough to be completely pissed.”

“What about drugs?”

Jeon scoffed at Yuri’s continued questions, his eyes never leaving the autopsy report.

“Do you have something to say, Jeon?” asked Yuri, irritably.

Seulgi intervened before the argument could escalate once again. “No, there weren’t any drugs in his system. At least not the regular ones. I’d have to check specifically if we’re looking for rarer, less traceable ones.”

“Can we get the people who were present at the party to come in give us a blood sample?” asked Yuri. “Maybe Eunwoo didn’t do any drugs, but that doesn’t mean there weren’t any drugs at the party.”

“I can run the tests. Most of the drugs I tested for remain in a person’s blood for at least 2-3 days.”

Jeon returned the file to Seulgi. “There’s no need for that.”

“What?” Yuri snapped her head in his direction. “Why not?”

“You won’t find drugs being used at the Kang mansion.” He picked up his backpack and started walking towards the exit.

“Where are you going, Jeon?!” yelled Yuri.

“Home.”

xxx

lemme know how you liked the chapter!

#jungkook #jungkook x oc #jungkook fic #yoongi #seokjin #hoseok #namjoon #taehyung #jimin #bts fic #c me write bangtan #btsbookclub

36 notes · View notes

liljungie · 5 years

Text

$OLD | KIM TAEHYUNG one shot

Pairing: [mafia leader] taehyung × reader

Trigger warnings: mentions of drugs/guns/rape( but not really¿)/ dirty talk / psychotic taehyung.

Word count: 2144

> My writings Masterlist <

Requests are open ^_^

A/N: I swear I'm not a psychopath

Working late at night has it's perks or maybe just to you it was a blessing.

you didn't have to face a messed up step father when he's drunk, high on toxins and out of his mind, and you don't have to hear your mother yelling at him for harassing you, again.

Not like he would stop if she did, he didn't care, he would push your mother out of the room and he would come back to your bedroom and he would lock the door and continue to abuse you, hurt you, each time it was different depending on the day.

You never knew why he did what he did, so you just let him do what he wanted and walk out ,you learned the hard way that if you say or do something or push him away you'll end up with broken bones and a lot of bruises and scars, funny enough you rather have bruises and scars rather than having a broken limb.

broken limb meant no work and no work meant you're available to your messed up stepfather to do as he please 24/7 and that's the last thing you wanted to grant him.

Ever since your mother got married to that lunatic you never been the same you became weaker, sad as ever and lost all hope in life, you worked for the local bar as a bartender to pay for the small apartment you live in and to put food infront of

your mother,even though you're young you learned mixing drinks fast you knew which tastes better and which were too strong you had to try the drinks before you served any.

Which lead you to be drunk at the end of the day most times.

Most of your drunk nights ended up in

you being unconscious behind the building naked from the waist down sometimes fully naked depending on how shitty the guy you were with the night before.

Strangers having their way with you was a hell lot better than your stepfather.

One night a man walked through the doors like he owns the place, suite and tie,clean face long dark hair, basically the guy was drenched in money and glory, and not to mention awfully young around your age maybe a year or three older,he had two guards on each side of him as he walked through and took a seat right in front of the bar, where you were working.

You raised your brows questionly usually rich men would sit in the booths far away from the bar that was decorated with bright colored lights so they could deal and do their dirty work privately or it would definitely be evident to everyone and men like him usually have women around him to entertain them as they sip on beverages that makes them forget reality and do whatever they want without the mind controlling their movements, not to mention this part of town was poor as hell he definitely wouldn't get that type of luxury here, middle class men and under do come here drink what they ordered and go on with their lives.

Nonetheless a job is a job and you had to do as you're told.

"good evening" a fake smile was planted on your face as you greeted the man "what would you like to drink?" He smirks as he placed his hands on top of each other on the wooden surface as he looks at you, almost analyzing you, licking his lips then he spoke "vodka"

You smiled and turned your back to him you grabbed the vodka bottle and a glass then you placed the glass infront of him and poured the liquid in and placed a lime on top and moved the glass closer to the man's hands, still offering a smile.

You went back to wiping the table, still suspicious as to why he was sitting here, of all places..you shrugged it off and decided not to pay much attention to it anymore thinking nothing of it and pushed it to the side focusing on work instead then you heard him ask "you're Christopher's step daughter aren't you?" He glanced at you still the smirk was there mocking you.

You titled your head, your eyes were glossy the mention of your stepfather's name obviously terrified you but nonetheless you answered "yes I am" sadly you wanted to add, trying your hardest not to show how much you despised that man that was your stepfather.

a million questions raced through your mind after his abrupt question you never talked about him to anyone, you didn't even know anyone you could talk to, but you figured to start with the easy questions and work your way up, you stopped wiping the table and looked him in the eyes "and you are?" You thanked the gods that your voice came out strong and clear.

The man infront of you smiled then he downed the last bit of what was left in his glass "Taehyung" he smiled at you "Kim taehyung" he winked "what about you sweetface?"

"_____" you mutter and he smiled "beautiful name for a beautiful girl" he remarks as a red hue coverd your cheeks and you looked away, you weren't used to sweet talk..not from guys around your age at least.

Taehyung signaled for his guards at the snap of his fingers and they went away..slightly but it was enough space for him to talk to you without being interrupted.

knowing his guards they get a bit overprotective and he didn't want to scare you off knowing that you lived with someone like Christopher for years was enough for him to know that you were troubled, and you would be defensive and the talk he wants to have with you is going to trigger a reaction out of you that his guards would definitely point a gun or two at.

He sighed and leaned forward taking a better look at your face, you watched him with wary eyes, slightly afraid of how the hell did he know Christopher? Your stepfather was definitely not on this man's level, this man is everything your stepdouche wasn't; Young, rich and powerful.

Why would he stoop so low unless Christopher fucked up which appears in this case;he definitely has.

"You see,______ I run a business...some would say it's deadly, which it is, but not from my end" he smiles as he starts to sweet talk the clueless girl "I'm a mafia leader" as he said that you can't believe how nonchalnet he was speaking these words like he was talking about his favourite color, your eyes definitely popped out of their sockets if you were afraid before now you were terrified, slightly shaking in your cheap boots.

"Your stepfather took a little too much candy that he couldn't pay for..." you knew exactly what type of 'candy' taehyung was talking about drugs you saw it on the tables at home before you wiped them clean, you saw him line up the powder and stuffing it in his nostrils before he made his way to your bedroom,it made you sick.

But it's not like you could have stopped him or done something.

He spoke again breaking you away from your trance "He kept promising he would pay up but as you can see darling..he never did" he licked his lips "so instead I made a deal with him" he says way too cheerfully, adjusting his collar while he sent you a smirk.

Your body was shaking with anticipation? Nervousness? You wiped your hands on the back of your jeans you didn't realize you were sweating so much you placed your hair behind your ears as if somehow that will help you understand better, which was a habit of yours "what kind of deal?" You ask afraid of the answers yet you braced yourself to hear the worst.

And it definitely looks bad for you.

He chuckled "the stupidest one baby" he chuckled louder "your stepfather is so stupid" he shakes his head, you felt his gaze change to lust the seriousness in his eyes vanished completely, you swallowed as you feel your heart drop.

And the pet names he gave you weren't helping your fragile state, it almost lured you in but not quite.

There's no way you're letting your guard down "He is messed up but he's not stupid I know he isn't" you didn't know why you were defending him as if somehow that would scare the mafia boss off, hell to him it was so adorable and he's anything but scared of you, taehyung was amused at your response.

"Oh?"He laughed and stood up from the stool leaning closer to you the only thing that was separating you from him was this bar.

He bit his bottom lip as he looked up and down on you like you were a tasty dish that he couldn't wait to devour and boy he is starving "oh yeah?" He smirks "he sold you to me babygirl"

You stared at him astonished,'he's drunk' you thought 'he is not thinking straight..he's lying' deep down inside you knew it would take a lot more than one glass of vodka to get this man drunk out of his mind you're trying to convince yourself that it's not true that there's no way your stepfather would sell you to pay up his debts.

You didn't think he would be this fucked up

But then again Christopher didn't think it's messed up to try and sleep with you; his step daughter, so selling you definitely was okay to him, you felt disgusted by him you always been but this? It definitely takes the cake and was the cheery on top of it all.

"Babygirl why the long face hmm? I knew that pig has been hurting you, it was my idea that he sells you..to me" he chuckles, your insides went up in flames you were so embarrassed and hurt and terrified you never felt this way ever, every bad emotion you could ever feel was hitting and jabbing you at once "I'd treat you so much better angel" he purrs.

"You're no different you're just as mental as he is" you spit, tears slowly run on your face, taehyung killed and tortured many he ruined lives by selling drugs to men like Christopher and worse, and he won't ever stop, it's his job and if he's capable of doing all of that surely he is capable of making your life a miserable living hell when you leave with him tonight.

Taehyung's face softens and he reaches forward wiping away your tears pitying you almost, you turned your head pressing your lips in a line trying to ignore the taste of your tears,taehyung didn't know much about emotions so he couldn't understand why you were crying, he wasn't going to kill you! Not now at least.. he thought.

'she should be thankful that I didn't shoot her right then and there at least that counts for something' he thought he's sure you're a pleasure to your stepdad and there's nothing more he loved than riding people of what they loved the most. You shouldn't be afraid of him he thought to himself.

Although firing his gun was a pleasure he didn't feel elsewhere and something he won't ever give up,his guns were everything to him,

Watching the life leave his opponent eyes was euphoric it made him feel like a hero almost.

"Don't cry babydoll" he coos as you close your eyes defeated,his hand creassing your cheek softly he kept smiling to reassure you that everything will be fine but that's so far from reality.

God the fun he's going to have with you is making him hard and he barely touched you, he can't imagine how you're going to feel around his dick or how sweet you taste.

He thinks to himself you're the overly sensitive type which turned him on massively, he wanted you to save those tears for when he's deep in you moving slowly in and out savoring every second he spends inside you stretching you out, feeling every inch of you, hitting your soft spot again and again until you're full of his cum he's sure all the dicks you had before don't compare to his and he can't wait to go home and play with you until you beg him to stop which of course he won't.

He loves his new dolls the most, you're not the first and definitely won't be the last.

"You're all mine now" he whispers sounding sweeter than honey, just like that you were wrapped around his long,gorgeous fingers.

And just like that Taehyung strikes again.

[sequel]

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