#the relationship between Dean and Kate would likely be rather cool after this

[urne-buriall]

so I remember the outage at Kate in this update the first time around. she's a nurse and should know better than to tell John what Dean said, especially when Dean is stuck in this very isolated place with him. and that's all true, she should know

but we don't know how exactly the conversation started. there's just one clue for us: Dean's been working in the barn for some time before he decides to pick up the phone and call Cas. he hasn't heard the phone ring, or he might wonder about the line being in use

this tells us that John called Kate, not the other way around

the rest below a cut because it's what I think, but it's not in the text for a few reasons, and as is my calling, it just makes things complicated with no black or white resolution

John called Kate. not because he knows anything has gone on, just to have a chat. his kid just stormed out and it's time to work on his other family, where he can start fresh. (Sam called it in his last scene. he's astute that way.) but this means Kate's plan to take some time and think about everything she just learned goes out the window. not ready to talk to John, she probably tried to get off the line, but he needled. picked up there was something off and tried to ask if there was some issue between them (with Sam walking out, a statement of failure on John's part, he's not gonna play the loser twice in a row)

not wanting to draw attention to the fact that there IS an issue, maybe she thought she could be clever. confirm the truth of the surprising things Dean told her. maybe she started by asking about Sam, thinking she'll catch John in a lie. and oh, Sam, he's gone back to school, yeah, they start early there. has John said how proud he is of that kid, how he could get into any college in the world from here? and Adam will be a smart one like Sam, no doubt about it, and go to a smartypants school too, or whatever school Kate wants him in. it's hard when the kids are far from home but at least Dean's stayed close by and John's always got him for the farm, he's invaluable for that

and this is. not what she expected. during her visit, they seemed like such a put-together household, which is what John is reflecting now. which is not what Dean said over the phone. and I think she's still cautious, but now she's confused, and she tries asking another canny question but she slips up. it wouldn't take much to trigger John's suspicion, and he has one goal, which is: don't lose Kate

and he says he can tell something's the matter and she tries to say there isn't and that's when we get into the kind of back and forth where John is playing to his strength. hell, he'd even offer to hang up and give her some time, but in a way that now she's the one apologizing (just like Dean apologizes in another scene, when he isn't the one who should be saying sorry). and when he asks what's changed she admits she had a strange call from Dean and she doesn't know what to make of it. she still doesn't intend to say anything about the content of that call, but John knows enough. he knows what to ask, what to plant, what to make her question Dean's motives until she is revealing more and he's twisting up her doubts and reflecting them back and insisting Dean's story doesn't add up, which, maybe it doesn't? and this is confusing, upsetting, she doesn't know which way is up, and John is just so certain. has an explanation for everything

by the time the call is ending she's just agreeing with everything John's saying because he's shot down every single other point so efficiently that it seems there's no purpose in searching for exhausting counterarguments with him. and she's confused and defeated. and once she hangs up, she knows less than when she started. she doesn't know if the sick feeling in her stomach is worry that Dean was telling the truth and she's just betrayed him or if it's the distaste of Adam having a half-brother, one he's met and adores, who's a sociopath that would make up anything to keep her away. she's stuck between two realities because she knows someone is lying to her very well but can't tell which one

she doesn't speak to John again, letting his calls go to voicemail. if she thinks about making a tip, she doesn't know who it will help or hurt. a week after this, she gets a call from Dean at a different number. she is partly relieved to hear his voice because she's been concerned she got it all wrong, but also unsure at the start of whether she'll be hearing another fabulation to keep her away

Dean's not looking for sympathy or an apology or any of that. he's not calling to accuse her or even tell her directly of her role in that final fight. he just says that he wanted her to know he's pressing charges with the police, here's the case number and this is Jody's extension, and that if Kate and Adam would like to set up no-contact orders it wouldn't be a bad idea and they could piggy-back off Dean's case. he's applying to be Sam's legal guardian, and he doesn't have a fixed place to stay yet but here's where to write or call. that if it's alright with Kate, he'd like to stay in touch with Adam, even if what they share is a rotten dad

she knows, then. she puts the pieces together and I think that guilt plagues her. she apologizes, desperately apologizes and tries to explain, and Dean goes quiet. then says he knows what his dad is like. he always believed John too. it's not an "I forgive you" but it's a sense of commiseration. he wouldn't wish John on anybody, and everything that happened was done by John, not her

#spirit of the west daily #this is a story and not a case study on helping abuse victims #people don't do the right thing in every moment #and anyone who is in John's range is going to be lied to and deliberately deceived #to Kate‚ John is the father of her kid who's been reconnecting with her and hinting at marriage #Dean contradicted the version of reality John presented her for months and now John is reaffirming it and he's the one she thinks she knows #and she thought she had a read on Dean from her brief visit and she thought she had a read on John #but she's wrong about one of them and her judgement is shot and John would capitalize on that #the relationship between Dean and Kate would likely be rather cool after this #but I see him staying connected with Adam and having him out for visits in later years

[startgame]

supernatural x mcu crossover

i saw a twitter thread about which supernatural & mcu characters would be friends, so here’s my take:

dean- bucky, steve, nat, clint, carol

dean would have a massive crush on all these people and experience bi panic whenever he interacts with them.

and he’d probs relate to bucky since they both have trauma from being forced to kill & torture people against their will.

dean’s relationship with carol would kinda be like his relationship with claire, minus the father/daughter dynamic. and he’d admire nat a lot but also be super intimidated by her. obvs him & clint would go drinking together and be a menace to society.

sam- bruce, thor, darcy, rhodes, sam

sam, bruce, and darcy would bond over nerdy ass shit. and he’d probs have a severe crush on darcy but be extremely awkward around her bc she’s a literal genius. i also feel like he’d have intellectual conversations with rhodes and sam about politics, and discuss stuff that actually matters. we love our human rights activists <3

also you KNOW that holding mjölnir in “What’s Up, Tiger Mommy?” (seriously, writers?) was the highlight of samuel winchester’s entire hunting career, despite having saved the world multiple times. he’d probs secretly have a major fanboy moment when he meets thor.

cas- mantis, vision, mobius, ajak, valkyrie

cas and mantis’ interactions would consist of no words, no thoughts, just bonding telepathically by putting a finger on each other’s foreheads. he would also relate to vision & mobius, bc all 3 are extraterrestrial beings who have existed outside of time and fell madly in love with humanity (aka dean, loki, and wanda) they would all cry together bc their chaotic lovers are literally the most amazing people on the planet.

he would also relate to ajak bc just like himself, she was a warrior who later rebelled against her creator bc she learned that humans are beautiful beings, and they both have the power to heal!

also him & valkyrie would kick homophobic asses together.

jack- groot, shuri, ned, peter, kate

imagine all of these teenagers going on a space adventure together in one of shuri’s spaceships. like guardians of the universe but make it gen z. i think jack & groot would be besties, shuri would constantly try to figure out the science behind jack’s powers, & peter would try to show jack nerdy pop culture stuff. also jack would kinda have a small crush on kate but ultimately he just admires her from afar and thinks she’s a badass.

also imagine wholesome moments between jack & ned like pls why can’t this be real

bobby- fury, alexei, phastos, rocket, happy

imagine phastos, rocket and bobby all talking about engineering and shop. i think they would all build awesome stuff together and try to invent cool things! and fury would remind bobby of rufus bc of his sense of humor. he’d also get along with happy even tho he’d kinda think tony stark is too arrogant, but he’d eventually change his mind after he gets to know happy.

and idk why i think alexei would remind bobby of john winchester. oh wait, it’s bc they’re both questionable fathers who trained their children to become killing machines…

rowena- wanda, dr. strange, agatha, sylvie

okay, witches assemble. i wouldn’t want to mess with this group of people, i’d rather eat a laptop before crossing them. like uff imagine wanda, agatha, and rowena forming a coven! that’s too much power in one trio. and rowena + dr. strange would make a cute couple imo since they both have questionable morals sometimes. also bc sylvie is also a magical being, i see them teaming up to cause some mischief.

jody & donna- pepper, aunt may, maria hill, hope

ofcccc the wayward sisters would be besties with all of the women in marvel bc hello, they’re all girl bosses, every single one. but something about them getting along with the moms or mother figures like aunt may, pepper, & hope too bc scott has a daughter.

also bc jody and donna are cops they’d be so impressed by maria hill being a commander in shield, like wow such powerful queens.

crowley- tony, druig, drax

these 4 give such dom!masc energy, it’s insane. all i can think of is “it’s about DRIVE, it’s about POWER! we stay hungry, we devour!”

but in all seriousness, tony & crowley would compete to see who can respond with the most sarcastic and witty remarks at all times. and technically druig also possesses people’s minds in the same way that demons do so put these 2 in the same room so we can see who’s mentally stronger. also drax would teach crowley fun ways to torture people (or vice versa).

lucifer- loki, kang, deadpool

the amount of chaos that i envision this group of men causing is just criminal. combine loki & lucifer’s daddy issues and you just have 2 narcissists doing fatherless behavior. kang would look at these men and say “could i interest you in letting y’all rip the fabric of our reality and disturb every universal timeline?” deadpool would go along for the ride just so he can witness the scandal and bc he’s the only person who doesn’t complain every time lucifer decides to kill him.

#supernatural #spn #marvel #mcu #supernatural!marvel crossover #dean winchester #sam winchester #castiel #rowena macleod #jack kline #crowley supernatural #lucifer supernatural #jody mills #donna hanscum #marvel fandom #marvel cinematic universe #cas supernatural #the avengers #long post

[corancoranthemagicalman]

💜💜🌻💜💜🌻💜💜

Thank you so much 💜 my day was stressful and mentally taxing but overall it was fine :) i am so so flattered/flustered that you want to gift me something in return- i never expect anything when i'm penguin anon. And irl i'm trying to be better at accepting things from people. so if you really would like to gift me something here are some tropes i like: cas gardening (sorry i can't get away from flowers/plants!), dadstiel with baby or toddler jack, general domestic fluff, anything that explores cas & dean healing/character growth 💜 but i honestly don't expect anything in return for my hearts and flowers. They are freely given 💜💜🌻💜💜🌻💜💜

-🐧🌻

I’m sorry to hear it was stressful for you, dear. I’m glad that overall it wasn’t too bad for you, though. I hope this cheers you up? I’m a few hours later with it because I get distracted big time in research. Like figuring out that Dean was 22 when Shrek came out. Which had literally no bearing on this, but was fun to figure out. The hearts and flowers are more than appreciated. 💕🌺🌺💕

🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻

When Dean was four, he watched his mother hold his baby brother to the blooming sunflowers she kept in the backyard. Mom said they were called Sunriches. They were named that because they were like golden suns. Dean thought the sun was golden, but when he tried looking at it, the sun was just a bright, white color. Blinding. Dad said he couldn’t look at the sun without hurting himself, so he stopped trying.

What he could look at was Mom holding Sammy. He was only a couple of months old, but Mom was excitedly talking to him as if he could talk back. Dad said he wouldn’t be able to talk for a while. That didn’t seem to bother Mom. She was content to describe the flowers to Sammy. They were taller than Dean was. Mom said they wouldn’t get any bigger, but one day Dean would be tall enough to hold Sammy up to the flower petals. He looked forward to that.

Mom looked pretty in her dress, from Dean’s memory of the time. Her skirt swayed in the autumn wind in time with the petals dancing in the breeze. It was ethereal, like a princess talking to animals. Except instead of a squirrel on her shoulder there was a baby in her arms. Dean thought it looked like magic.

A few months later, when Dean was finally trusted with holding Sammy in his arms, he was running out of his burning home.

He didn’t think about the sunflowers they left behind.

Read more undercut or check it out on AO3!

Later in life, when Dean was flirting too close to a stable relationship with a reporter, he idly thumbed at the petals of the Suntastic Yellows. He remembered his mom telling him that they were the tiniest sunflowers. The type they used in bouquets. Cassie had a small pot resting on her windowsill.

Cassie’s hands drew around his waist from behind him. Humming into his neck, Cassie drew him backward with her. He thought about it in an absent sense, walking away from the sunflowers.

“You know,” she whispered against the shell of his ear, “they say that sunflowers track the sun all throughout the day.”

“Oh, really?” Dean smirked, taking her lips in his own. She was wonderful, really. Too wonderful. Wonderful enough that Dean thought about confessing everything to her. Cassie would understand. She was clever and understanding. Hell, maybe she’d even accept him.

It was too bad, then, that when Dean told her what he did—what he was—that she didn’t believe him. Dean wouldn’t have believed himself either. Walking away with his keys in his hand and his heart at his feet, Dean wondered if this is what it would always feel like. If he would always have to walk away from the place his heart was trying to make into a home. Maybe it was something about being a sunflower. Always tracking the sun throughout the day.

Too bad Dean couldn’t find the damn sunlight.

“Dude, look!” Dean grinned during another part of his life, pointing at some old lady’s front garden full of Taiyos. “It’s like Shrek.” He teased his brother, elbowing Sam who only rolled his eyes in return.

“Shrek? Really?” Sam scoffed. “How old were you when that even happened?”

Dean huffed a laugh. “What? You’re telling me you didn’t go watch the cinematic masterpiece known as Shrek with all of your college buddies?”

Sam rolled his eyes again, huffing with a shrug of his shoulders. “Sure, Dean. And then we watched Holiday in the Sun right after, too.”

“Never took you for a Mary-Kate and Ashley fan, Sammy.” Dean grinned, watching the sunflowers swaying in the breeze from the corner of his eye.

They looked peaceful in the witness’ front yard. Untouched by the grueling werewolf that was lurking through the small town. Dean could hear Sam’s sharp inhale from beside him.

“I always thought sunflowers were… homey,” Sam confessed, watching the sunflowers dance with a furrowed brow.

Shooting Sam a crooked grin, Dean stepped forward toward the sunflowers but he didn’t dare touch them. “I’m not surprised,” he began. “Mom used to grow them. She started taking you out into the garden as soon as you stopped crying all the time.”

Sam was silent for a moment, causing Dean to look at him with concern. It wasn’t often that Sam was quiet, but when he was it was always a contemplative silence. “I didn’t know that.” He spoke softly.

“You wouldn’t have remembered.” Dean shrugged, stepping onto the witness’ walkway to begin making their way up to the door. “These are a bit taller than hers were. But then again, everything seemed taller then.”

There was another moment of contemplative silence, but it seemed Sam had nothing left to say. He knocked on the witness’ door, taking care not to meet Dean’s eye. Dean wondered what that meant. Wondered if Sam felt the same way when he saw sunflowers.

Then again, Sam had always been larger than life. Tall and proud.

When Dean was on the aching side of forty, he watched Castiel hold their four-year-old son to the blooming sunflowers he kept in the backyard. Cas had been enchanted by the Little Beckas when he had seen them. While they might not have been the tallest—or the smallest—of sunflowers, he had thought they were lovely. Dean had made a quip about their halo and bought Cas seeds the same day.

Watching Cas and Jack reminded Dean of being four and trying to see what color the sun was. It was blinding, something he felt he should look away from lest it hurt him. But he found that he couldn’t look away. He didn’t want to. He just wanted to watch Cas answer every question Jack had.

He was beautiful, Dean often thought, but especially in moments like these. The cuffs of his jeans were muddied and his bare feet were buried in the soil where he sat with Jack in his lap. Dean hated how Cas refused to wear shoes outside, but he had claimed to like being closer to the Earth. Dean couldn’t argue with him. He wouldn’t argue with him; not for what made him happy.

Cas turned to look at him, catching his gaze and drawing him closer with just a look. Dean moved without hesitation, standing beside Cas and kicking at his knee with his booted foot. His approach drew Jack’s attention away from the flowers, who clapped excitedly the closer he got.

“Whaddya think, Jack? Do you like the colors?” Dean hummed, watching Jack’s gummy smile as the kid waved up at him.

“Daddy says that sunflowers face East!” He pointed enthusiastically, laughing and reaching for the blooms in front of him.

Dean frowned, looking from Cas to the flowers. “I thought sunflowers rotated with the sun or whatever.”

Cas hummed, tilting his head with a nod. “They do, in their youth.” He pressed a kiss to the top of Jack’s head. “But when they mature, the sunflowers learn that they get the most light during the morning hours when the sun has just risen from the East.” Bouncing Jack momentarily and causing the boy to giggle, Cas turned to face Dean. “They just learn what’s healthiest for them. It just takes time.”

Inhaling sharply, Dean wondered if this was it. If this was his East. Watching a smiling Jack and Cas whispering about sunflowers that—while not the tallest or the smallest—were a halo of colors. Two colors that came together, that never faded, that bloomed to life in this tiny garden he called home. He was a dark heart and a bright halo, smiling toward the bright, white sunlight of a gummy smile and clapping hands.

With a grunt, Dean lowered himself to the soil, sitting beside Cas and wrapping his arm around Cas’ shoulder. “These little guys are pollen-less,” he spoke to Jack. “That’s why we got the honeysuckles.”

“Honeysuckles stand for devotion.” Cas’ voice rumbled gently. “In the ancient Celtic alphabet, the symbol that the Ogham carved into stone to represent the honeysuckle stood for following one’s path.”

Dean snorted a laugh, shaking his head. “Sort of counterintuitive. Since, yanno, Free Will.” He quipped, raising a curious brow toward Cas.

Bowing his head in concession, Cas continued. “Yes, that is true. The Druids meant it more like… trusting one’s gut. Rather than sticking to the story.” He grinned, rocking with Jack in his arms for a moment. “But the honeysuckle is rather hard to kill. That is why it means everlasting devotion.”

“Deaths don’t stick, huh?” Dean hummed, squeezing Cas closer into his side. “Sounds like someone I know.”

Cas exhaled a laugh, resting his head atop Jack’s. “The Chinese valued the honeysuckle for its healing properties. It can be a cooling herb to remove toxins.”

Dean pressed a kiss to Cas’ cheek, keeping his lips there for a moment longer before pulling away. “Even if the honeysuckle can’t heal ‘em, the sunflowers like the company anyway.” He smiled softly, watching as Cas’ eyes turned dewy toward him. “And ‘sides, the honeysuckle brings all the bees to the yard.”

Snorting laughter that Jack joined in without knowing the cause, Cas shook his head. “I suppose so.” His attempt to suppress a smile made Dean’s own grin widen. “But the sunflower is more than enough company.”

“Damn straight,” Dean whispered against Cas’ lips, kissing him slowly and savoring the moment.

Between them, Jack made exaggerated kissy faces, causing them to pull apart and watch him with amusement. He grinned, reaching up and holding Dean and Cas’ cheeks in his palms.

“Daddy and Poppa sittin’ in a tree!” Jack sang, giggling as he smushed their heads together.

Mocking a frown, Dean held his other hand out behind Jack’s back. His palm felt so large in comparison to how small Jack was. “Did Uncle Sam teach you that?”

“Yup!” Jack nodded enthusiastically, head bobbing as he continued to hum the song under his breath.

Cas gave another chuckle under his breath, looking from Jack to Dean. “I suppose we should head inside. We're still expecting Sam and Eileen for lunch.”

Dean stood with a groan as his knees ached. He reached out a hand to help Cas and Jack up, standing tall with his family in their little garden. Keeping their fingers intertwined, Dean didn’t have to think about the sunflowers they left behind.

They would be there as long as the sun was in the East.

#ask c #anon #🐧🌻 anon #destiel #destiel ficlet #spn #spn ficlet #flower language #sunflowers #dean winchester #character study #meta???? #dunno #im bad at tagging

[ayla-221bee]

Mystade Shades of Purple Chapter 2

  Link to chapter one: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24986056/chapters/60493702#workskin  and https://hogwartsjaguar97.tumblr.com/post/622435736610914304/mystrade-pride-fic-shades-of-purple-aka-the

   Soho 1989  

 It had been about a year since he had that wonderful kiss in a sidestreet in Soho with a stranger and Greg had not been able to get it out of his head.

   Greg had kissed other people in the past six or so months since that evening, both men and women,  but they felt rather empty compared to the kiss he had with Mycroft.  He liked the kisses that they had with those strangers in clubs but they weren’t the same, there wasn’t the same spark between him and the person who he kissed.

 The kisses that he had exchanged with old girlfriends and strangers before Mycroft didn’t feel that exciting. Greg spent hours thinking about that kiss in Soho and he often wondered why it could never leave his mind. He knew that it was somewhat juvenile to think of a kiss as special...but it was.

 Greg wasn’t sure if it was because it was his first kiss with a man or it was the alcohol that made it so thrilling. It might have been the fact that he had been so nervous even stepping into that bar in Soho and he had the feeling that he was doing something rather rebellious, going against the norm. It was half the reason why Greg considered his bisexuality to be somewhat ‘cool,’ other than the fact that he was in the same club as Bowie and Freddy Mercury.

 Greg found it somewhat impossible to move on from that kiss, no matter how many times he tried. He knew that he did tend to fall quickly and hard, and he had not been able to shake off the fragility of his teenage years when it came to matters of the heart.

 He had moped for days after his date with Mycroft had gotten cancelled last minute. He had been so excited and incredibly nervous to go out with Mycroft. He had spent ages picking something to wear, the best way to style his hair, and he spent far too long debating about the best way to greet Mycroft and if he was meant to bring flowers or not.

 It was through a phone call from Mycroft the evening before their date that had put an end to Greg’s plans. He usually loved his phone calls with Mycroft, they had at least two of them a week since they had met. They were often the highlight of Greg’s week when the two of them talked about everything and nothing.  

 Greg hadn’t been that keen on phone calls after the last one that he had exchanged with Mycroft. He tended to associate them with disappointment after the date had been cancelled.

 Mycroft sounded positively upset, almost disappointed as he spoke on the phone, he tried to hide it and put on a bit of a ‘telephone voice,’ that sounded posher than how he normally talked.  He could tell that Mycroft was heavily burdened with something, he tried to ask what was wrong and Mycroft changed the subject, furiously denying that something was wrong before apologising once more about changing the plans.

         He hung up the phone shortly with the vague promise that they would arrange another day. Putting down the phone felt a bit too final for Greg’s liking and the goodbye that they shared felt a bit too permanent for Greg’s liking.

 He had only known Mycroft for a few weeks through one kiss and countless hours on the phone and  somehow Mycroft had managed to leave a permanent imprint on Greg that seemed impossible to move on from.

 Greg smoked two cigarettes to build up the courage to walk into the club in Soho.

         He could hardly understand why he felt so nervous, it wasn’t as if it was his first time in the club these days. It had been the first time he had been in months, his girlfriend didn’t like it when he went out to clubs and he had stopped going to keep her happy.

           Kate didn’t like the idea of him looking at other women and Greg didn’t think that she would be exactly thrilled to catch him looking at a bloke.  He hadn’t told her that he liked men and he kept it hidden deep like an old jacket in the back of the wardrobe.

 It wasn’t as if he was ashamed of being bisexual, he found the fact so unimportant. He never went around telling people who he fancied what hand he wrote with and he didn’t tell people that he was bisexual. It was a pointless bit of information that only mattered to him and no one else.

 At one point in the five months of his relationship with Kate, Greg wondered if his bisexuality was a phase. He felt as if he had forgotten that he liked men at one point in his efforts of fitting in with other couples and pretending to be straight.  He felt as if he didn’t really fit in with them, almost as if he was an outsider as he had been with men right before his relationship with Kate.

 He put the thought out of his head as quickly as it arrived once a good looking bartender caught his eye.

 Greg scuffed his cigarette out with his boot and sauntered into the club with great ease despite not being there for months.  

 He couldn’t even understand why he felt so nervous, it wasn’t as if the security by the door would ask him about his dating history before they let him, or the bar staff would refuse to serve him once they found out that he had not long ended a relationship with his girlfriend.

 Greg ordered himself a drink, stood by the edge of the bar and allowed himself to enjoy the music.  He knew that after a drink or two, he would be on the dance floor amongst the large group of men dancing to Dead or Alive and Culture Club, it would be the perfect way to recover after a disastrous breakup.

 Greg made his way to the dance floor and allowed himself to get lost in the music. The Smiths had never been his favourite thing to dance but Greg did not care, he needed to dance and escape the real world for a bit.  This song and being in this club were the only things that mattered.

 After dancing to two songs, someone across the bar caught his eye.  It had been about a year since he had last seen Mycroft and months since their date was cancelled the day before, but  Greg was thrilled to see him regardless. Greg wasn’t too sure if it was the alcohol that was talking but honestly couldn’t care.

 Mycroft nodded in acknowledgement and shot him a shy grin across the bar once he had caught his eye.

 He tried to give Mycroft his best inviting grin as he made himself to the bar, swaying to the music as he walked.

 “Fancy seeing you here,” Greg said with a grin as Mycroft approached him. “I thought that gay bars weren’t your thing? What brings you here tonight?”

 “I do like the music,” Mycroft said with a sheepish expression on his face. “I was wondering if I could buy you a drink? It is the least that I can do after the last time we talked.”

 Greg nodded enthusiastically, he had never been someone who turned down a drink.  “I’ll have the same as you.”

 Mycroft nodded and braved the packed bar and eventually came back with two glasses in his hands. “I ended up with rum instead of whisky, I hope that you don’t mind.”

 Greg happily accepted the glass that was pushed into his hand and he huddled up close to Mycroft, partly to hear him better. “How is university?” Greg asked, rather unsure about what he was meant to say. “I suppose that it was crazy enough that you had to cancel all those months ago.”

 Mycroft grimaced and sighed before he spoke. “I can assure you that I did not want to cancel on you. I am surprised that you were happy to see me, then again, going by that dancing of yours, I assume that you might be somewhat intoxicated.”

 Greg raised an eyebrow and removed his glass from his lips. “I am not that drunk,” he said. “Am I not allowed to be happy to see you?”

 “No one is usually happy to see me,” Mycroft replied.

 “Well, I’m glad to be the first one,” Greg said with a smile.

 He was pushed close into Mycroft’s side as someone shoved past him to get to the bar. Greg didn’t move away and stayed in close, Mycroft didn’t seem to mind too much.  He scanned Mycroft up and down   taking him all in, making Mycroft blush slightly as he noticed. “You look really good,” he said into Mycroft’s ear. “I like your shirt.”

 “I like your hair,” Mycroft said somewhat awkwardly as if he had never really complimented someone before.  “You make me think of James Dean when you have that jacket on. The earring is new.”

 Greg ran his hand through his hair and shuffled in closer. “Have you come here to find someone? Anyone caught your eye?”

 Mycroft took in a deep breath and took a long sip of his drink for courage before he nodded.  “I do not think that he might be interested...We were meant to be going out for dinner before I regretfully had to cancel.”

 Greg finished off his drink and grabbed Mycroft’s hand before the other had much a chance to respond. “You can have a dance with me and we’ll see what happens.”

 “I do not dance,”  Mycroft said. “I have never danced in my life and I will never dance.”

 He did not let go out his hand despite his protests and allowed Greg to drag him to the dance floor. He stood there somewhat awkwardly, swaying to the music as Greg started to dance.

 “God, I love this song,” Greg said loudly that Mycroft could hear him. “Come one, have some fun and let your hair down. I reckon that you are too serious.”

 “I am capable of having fun,” Mycroft protested.

         “It’s impossible not to have fun when you are on a dance floor with good looking blokes,” Greg teased, pulling Mycroft in close. “You are the best-looking one.”

 Mycroft snorted loudly and shook his head. “You must be very drunk.”

 Greg pulled him in close and shook his head. There was a slight buzz from the alcohol but it was pleasant. The atmosphere of the club, the music and being with Mycroft was responsible for his good mood than the alcohol. He had needed this so badly after being in a disastrous relationship.

 “We don’t have to dance,” he said to Mycroft once the song had ended. Mycroft seemed to enjoy watching him dance than actually wanting to dance himself and swayed awkwardly to the music.

 “I told you that I couldn’t dance,” Mycroft said into his ear. “You are a fantastic dancer, everyone is watching you.”

 Greg cast an eye around the room and turned his attention back to Mycroft. “I haven’t been dancing in a while, my  girlfriend didn’t like it.”

 Mycroft looked him up and down and bit his bottom lip, he looked rather deep in thought. “Would this girlfriend mind if I bought you another drink? Or if I took you somewhere else?”

 Greg wrapped his arm around Mycroft’s waist and attempted to sway with him to the music in the attempt to get him to ‘dance,’ with him. “I’m unattached,” Greg murmured. “I would very much like another drink with you. Where are you thinking about going?”

 “Another dance and we can see where the night takes us?” Mycroft suggested with a grin.

 “I don’t normally do anything like this,” Mycroft murmured, grinning, as he ran his fingers through Greg’s hair. “I did not expect to see you at the club tonight.”

 Greg leaned back against the headboard and traced his fingers along with constellation like freckles on Mycroft’s arm. It was impossible not to smile back. He had the odd feeling that the earth had turned a certain way for them to meet up again. He did briefly wonder if it was fate. He had always been a bit of a romantic.

 “What would you have done if you didn’t see me then?” Greg asked with a grin. “Just listened to the music?”

 Mycroft let out a chuckle and Greg couldn’t help but join in. “I suppose that I would have done that and gone to bed for ten. I did not plan to go out tonight.”

 Greg stretched out on the bed and ran his hand along Mycroft’s thigh that was covered by the duvet, and pressed a kiss on the outside of his wrist. “You must have done something right for fate to bring us together and to spend the early hours of the morning getting shagged.”

 Mycroft wrinkled his nose in disgust and rolled his eyes good naturally. “‘Shag,’ is such a common word, Gregory,” he lightly scolded.

         “You did say worse things earlier on,” Greg smirked. “I did not expect those words to come out of a mouth like yours. I didn’t think that posh boys even knew words like that.”

 “I’m full of surprises,” Mycroft grinned. “I suppose that this does make up for last year?”

 Greg shrugged and played with Mycroft’s long fingers, he felt the need for a cigarette but he had finished off his box before he entered the club.  “What even made you cancel? University deadlines?”

 Mycroft worried his bottom lip between his teeth and shook his head, dismissing him. “Nothing for you to worry about. I doubt that you would understand.”

 “What wouldn’t I-”

 He silenced off Greg’s question by crowding him against the headboard and kissed him, teasing.  “I am just really glad that you were willing to forgive  me and that you happened to be in the club tonight.”

 He ran a long-fingered hand up  Greg’s thigh and hummed into the kiss. Greg’s hands gravitated towards his arse. It was the lushest arse that he had ever seen on someone. Greg wondered if fate was doing him a favour tonight.

         “I’m very glad that decided to have a bit of fun and have a dance with me” Greg smirked. “You are very forgiven.”

 Mycroft almost had a rather tender expression on his face and placed a hand on his cheek. Greg felt a jolt inside him almost as if the atoms in his body had been rearranged. It would have frightened him in any other situation.

 “Me too,” Mycroft murmured, “I rarely let myself have any fun.”

 He let out an undignified squeak when Greg suddenly flipped him over onto his back. It broke into a breathy chuckle as Greg started to press kisses from the scattering of freckles on his nose and started to work his way down.

 It was a loud ringing of the phone that loudly taken Greg out of the moment that he was in. He had hoped that Mycroft was going to ignore it,  but Mycroft had worked his way from under him and slipped a dressing gown on before Greg could hardly think about what planet he was on.

 He could hear Mycroft talk on the phone in a low and serious voice. He sighed several times and sounded so exhausted from what Greg could make out on the phone.

         Greg tried to position himself on the bed in a more dignified position when he walked back in. Mycroft looked as if he had aged several years in the two minutes that he had been on the phone and he started to flatten down his very ruffled hair.  

         “Is everything alright?” Greg asked with a frown, he pushed back his fringe from where it had flopped down over one eye.

 Mycroft started to collect their clothes from the floor and organised their items into two piles in the bed. “You need to go, “ he murmured. “I am so sorry.”

 Greg stood up from the bed and put on a clean pair of boxers that Mycroft had shoved in his direction. “Is your boyfriend coming home or something?”

 Mycroft looked up at him as if he had told a joke and let out a humourless chuckle. His posture was unnaturally stiff as if he was propped up to a metal pole.  “That would be an easier situation to deal with.”

 He started to pull on his clothes that managed to stay relatively crease-free despite being tossed on the floor earlier on. His eyes were calculating and he seemed to be lost in his own world as he worried his bottom lip between his teeth.

 “What’s happening then?” Greg asked, “You were fine a moment ago.”

 “And I’m fine now,” Mycroft said briskly. “Thank you.”

 “Are you seriously going to do this again?” Greg asked as he shoved the last pieces of clothing on. “I don’t mind you blowing me off once but twice.”

 Mycroft sighed and sat on the edge of the bed with his head in his hands. “This is not my own choice,” he murmured.  “I have enjoyed the night we had but -”

 “You don’t think it’s a good idea?” Greg answered for him, somewhat bitter. “Are you even going to call me ?”

 Mycroft fastened up his trousers and sighed. “My situation would not allow me to have a relationship even if I wanted to. I do like you, Greg.”

 The words fluttered in Greg’s stomach teasingly. He tried to not let himself get caught up in the moment as he knew that he would be severely disappointed. “What is the situation?”

 “You wouldn’t understand.”

 “I’m a very good listener,” Greg countered. “I doubt that it is that bad.”

         Mycroft seemed to consider it for a moment,  the words ‘my brother,’ fell out of his mouth but he had quickly closed his mouth again and shook his head.  “I had a really good night with you,” Mycroft tried to smile but it did not reach his eyes. “I think that in another world  we could be very happy together but the timing isn’t there.”

 “I could wait for you,” Greg replied. “I think you are just scared. You know that this a good thing that we’ve got going on and you are running away.”

 “I thought that you were a police constable and not a psychologist,” Mycroft snapped before he apologised with a sigh.

 Greg shook his head and scolded himself for getting wrapped up with someone who had already ditched him before. He knew that things wouldn’t happen between him and Mycroft, they seemed to come into difficulty from the moment they met. He didn’t even know Mycroft’s name in the first night they met.

 “Your loss,” Greg shrugged as he shoved his jacket on.

         “This isn’t my choice,” Mycroft sighed. “My life  is...complicated.”

 “Isn’t life meant to be ?” Greg countered. “I think that you need to have a friend at least, someone who you could talk to.”

 Mycroft seemed to consider it for a long moment and sighed. He reached out his wallet and pulled out some money and placed it in Greg’s pocket when he refused to take it. It made him feel rather cheap.

 “It is for a taxi home,” Mycroft said. “I am truly sorry. I do like you and I cannot drag you into this mess.”

 Greg pushed back his hair and sighed. “You can phone me if you want,” he said. “I think that you do need a friend...I’m willing to be that for you.”

 Mycroft perched on the bed and looked rather small, the confidence that he had in the club seemed non-existent. He bent down and kissed him goodbye, he had the odd feeling that it would be the last time that he would see Mycroft.

 Greg straightened himself out and sighed. “I will see you around, yeah?” he murmured.  

 It took all of Greg’s strength to leave Mycroft’s flat that evening.

     Mycroft didn’t know what inspired him to go to the club that night, he had never enjoyed clubs. He didn’t even really enjoy the music that was being played.

 A part of him hoped that he would have seen Greg.  He had always kept an eye out for him on the rare occasion that he felt brave enough to venture down to Soho and when his burdens had lifted from his shoulders slightly.

 He hadn’t seen in Greg in a long time, he had assumed that he had managed to get himself a girlfriend or a boyfriend and it had put his days in the club to an end.  He knew that there would be a snowflake’s chance in hell that something would happen between them.   His happiness did not even have a priority in his own life.

         Mycroft tried to let himself enjoy the night, allow himself to get caught up in the music and forget about his own life for several hours. Each time he had walked into Soho, he always realised how much that he needed a night like this.

 One night where his biggest concern was about the music that they were playing in the club and what he was going to drink. A night where he did not have to be the adult that he pretended to be.

 A night where he could be himself for several hours and pretend to be somewhat ordinary, unburdened by the work on his desk and attempting to help his little brother who did not want to be helped or care for himself. A night away from parents who disapproved of him and were happily ignorant about what their youngest son got up to.

 He needed a night away from that burden but he would snap back into reality the moment that his pager buzzed or if the phone rang.

 He tried to enjoy the music, he normally would not care for The Smiths in the real world, but right now, they were his favourite band. He never really understood the lyrics of ‘      Panic’     before in the real world, but tonight, they spoke to him.

 He looked over at the dance floor and he felt his heart twinge and his stomach flutter at the sight of Greg dancing away without a care in the world. Mycroft had never cared much about dancing before but he found himself more willing to dance if Greg asked him to.

 Greg stopped dancing for a moment and grinned when he saw him, pushing his hair away from his eyes. He beckoned him over the to the bar as he danced.

 Mycroft thought for a long moment, finished off his drink and ran his hand through his hair before he made his way to the bar.                  How could he have refused?

 He knew that there was only so many chances in life he could take and he did know when it would end or have the opportunity to have a good time.  Tonight almost felt limitless.

#Mycroft Holmes #mystrade fanfic #Mystrade fanfiction #mycroft #Mycroft x Lestrade #mycroft and lestrade #mycroft and greg #mycroft x greg #young mystrade #mystrade #sherlockfic #sherlock fanfic #bbc sherlock #sherlock BBC #mystrade au

[alcalavicci]

Jill’s timeline of Dean, 1936-1979. She said something about working on an 80s timeline too but I didn’t find it: 

Robert Dean Stockwell was born on March 5, 1936, at Cedars of Lebanon Hospital in Los Angeles.

His father was Harry Baylis Stockwell, age 30, an 'artist' employed by motion picture studios. His original birthplace was Missouri. His mother was Elizabeth Margaret Veronica, age 24, a 'housekeeper' employed at home. Her original birthplace was New York. This was her second child. [Me: Jill somehow got his birth certificate. I guess this was in the days before they got a lot more secure about who got birth certificates?? Either way, it’s not really something I approve of because that’s applying genealogical methods to a living person, which genealogists generally frown on doing.]

1953 - 1956: The mystery years. Jill: “Dean left college in the spring of 1953, and disappeared for awhile until he showed up doing live television in 1956. When interviewers asked him what he had been doing, he spun quite a fanciful tale. There is no way for any of us to know how much is true, and how much he was making up. According to him, he changed his name several times, and began an odyssey of traveling across country doing odd jobs and living with the laborers of the land (Woody Guthrie, anyone? Bob Dylan also made up his own past when he hit New York. Must have seemed quite romantic at the time). “Dean says that he worked in the mailroom of a large company in New York....but when people began to figure out who he was, he hit the road. Worked on the railroad in Texas....in Mexico.....worked as a fruit picker.....worked in a bakery in New Orleans.....eventually ended up in New York again, and decided to try acting once more.

Jill: “Here are a few facts I've been able to find: Dean attended the University of California in Berkeley from 1952 to the spring of 1953, when he dropped out. His brother Guy was attending the university at the same time, and when Guy graduated (probably 1954), he became a schoolteacher in northern California. A former pupil of Guy's recalls Dean coming into the classroom occasionally to read Shakespeare to them (how cool would that be?). Also, Dean himself has stated that he was in 'northern California' when James Dean was killed in an automobile accident (which was the fall of 1955).

“Because of these few facts, I get the feeling that Dean was with Guy during a lot of these 'lost years.'

“However, he definitely was in New York during 1956, as that is where the live TV shows were originating from that he appeared in. He attended a few classes at the Actor's Studio, which is where he met Suzanne Pleschette. Since she is a real person, I will take that fact at face value.

“The rest is a mystery.” [K: I think there’s some truth to Dean’s claims- he was in NYC during the summer of 1955 and acted in a religious show, The Wise in Heart, to get money to go back to LA, according to Nature Boy. Nature Boy’s author confirmed this was pulled from a magazine interview with Stockwell. So, between the summer of 1955 and up to fall/winter 1955 at the earliest, spring 1956 at the latest, he was with his brother in Northern California, working as a logger, before going back to LA. Between spring of 1953 and the summer of 1955? I’m sure he found work elsewhere, was recognized there, moved, changed jobs, and that’s why he went through so many, but he may have exaggerated as well. After moving to LA, Dean soon met Berman. They had certainly met well before 1957- Dean wrote a poem that mentioned Berman’s son Tosh blowing out the candles on his 21st birthday cake.]

1957: A new adult Dean Stockwell emerges. Sometimes Dean says he went back to Hollywood in 1956, but another time he stated he returned to Hollywood on his 21st birthday, in order to collect the money that had been held in trust for him (it wasn't very much.......I'm thinking around $25,000, but I'd have to look that up). Dean turned 21 on March 5, 1957.

This is the period when Roddy McDowall took that photo of Dean's that shows up on the mantel in the QL show "M.I.A." [Me: Dean doesn’t look that young in the picture, based on his hair. I’m thinking the picture that’s in Roddy’s art book was taken around this time, while the MIA picture was taken in the early 1960s.]

There is so much happening between 1956 and 1957, that I have a feeling he was traveling between New York and Hollywood, rather than staying put in one place. He makes his first film as an adult, a western, titled "Gun for a Coward." "The Careless Years" will follow that one, plus countless appearances on TV dramas, plus a run in a Broadway play "Compulsion" with Roddy McDowall from late 1957 to early 1958 (while rehearsing for Compulsion, he appears in live TV dramas from New York........he was busy!).

Also, in 1957, he began to hang out with the beatniks living in Topanga Canyon, above Los Angeles. His address is listed as an apartment building in Hollywood (there's a photo of that building in our Files section), but he eventually buys his own home up in the canyon (I have no idea what year).

Dean states in the recent Neil Young biography that he spent a lot of time with the artist Wallace Berman and his family, and that Berman's revolutionary way of thinking was a profound influence on him. Berman was an avant-garde artist who worked with collages and symbols, often incorporating Hebrew letters (having to do with the Kabbala). When Berman's art exhibition was closed down due to obscenity, it was Dean Stockwell who bailed him out of jail (this was still 1957).

1957 - 1959: This is the period of time that Dean is hanging out at Jazz clubs, and is referred to as a Hollywood Hipster (with the likes of another child star, Bobby Driscoll), when he's not being compared to the late James Dean. He shows up in a documentary about the 'Beats' in California (a film I would love to get my hands on. :-) It's also the time when Dean's name is being connected to quite a few Hollywood starlets (Janice Rule, Diane Varsi, Ina Balin, Suzanne Pleschette, Sandra Dee).

1959 - 1962: At this point, almost every interview/article about Dean Stockwell centers on his relationship with another quirky personality, Millie Perkins. They were young, they were different from the mainstream, they were 'hip' without being obnoxious, and they made a cute couple. It's difficult for me to even figure out what else Dean was doing at the time, because everything centers around his marriage to Millie (1960 - 1962), and their efforts to hide from the press. They are married shortly after he finished "Sons and Lovers" and are going through a divorce by the time of "Long Day's Journey Into Night."

A brief glimpse into Dean's character is provided by Katherine Hepburn, during the filming of Long Day's Journey - he showed up for filming on the first day, an outdoor scene, without a coat during cold weather. That bothered Kate so much, she went out and bought him a coat, and had it there for him the following day. The director stated that Kate Hepburn had a soft spot for heavy drinkers. Apparently Dean arrived for work with a bottle of vodka close at hand. Sounds like he was getting a bit of a reputation.

1963: This is when Dean runs into Dennis Hopper again (they first met in New York in 1957, through their mutual friend Roddy McDowall). They become lifelong friends. Dean is mentioned in 'Andy Warhol's Diary' as being one of the guests at a party at Hopper's house, with Russ Tamblyn and Suzanne Pleschette. [Me: According to Semina Culture, this is also around the time when Dean met his longtime girlfriend Toni Basil.]

A photo of Dean from these days was taken by Dennis Hopper, and can be found in our Files, as well as in the Photo Album on our Website. [Me: That picture- with the egg on Dean’s face- was taken in 1965.]

1965 - Makes frequent appearances as a continuing character on the TV series "Dr. Kildare." Stars in a black and white film shot in France, titled "Rapture."

1966 - creates a short art film titled "Moonstone" with his artist friend George Herms

1966 and 1967 - in a sense, we can call these 2 years as 'lost years' or 'mystery years' also. Only called that because Dean's life at the time cannot be discerned by movies or TV appearances. Instead, we find Dean creating collages for Art Showings, living in Haight-Ashbury (verified by the beatnik poet Charles Plymell, who became a friend of his at the time), and perhaps sojourning in London for awhile. While in Haight-Ashbury, he attends parties at Plymell's apartment with the likes of Neal Cassady and Allen Ginsberg. [Me: There was Mr. Paracelsus, Who Are You? early around this time, but after that, nothing until late 1967.]

1968 - appeared in the psychedelic hippie movie "Psych-Out"; according to sources, the only actor in the film who actually lived in the Haight district at the time. But not for long, because now he's reappearing in Topanga Canyon with Russ Tamblyn, and eating breakfast at the local restaurant there. He befriends the female owner, who introduces him to her new boyfriend - Neil Young.

Also starred in a British TV mystery drama (which puts him in London, if only briefly). [Me: This was Thirty-Minute Theatre: Before Breakfast.]

Also made appearances on The Danny Thomas Show, and FBI.

Finishes the decade by performing (most charmingly) in a Bonanza episode....... and writing a screenplay titled "After the Gold Rush." Introduces George Herms to the music of Neil Young during an acid trip.

1970 to 1973 = Dean continues to make short art films with his friend George Herms. Also makes a short documentary about the making of "Breakaway," which was an art film created by the artist Bruce Connor, starring Dean's girlfriend at the time, Toni Basil.

1970 = stars in the film "Dunwich Horror" with his friend from the 1950's, Sandra Dee. Asks George Herms to paint the hieroglyphics on his torso for a scene in the film.

1971 = Joins his friend Dennis Hopper and other "Misfits of Hollywood" in Peru for the making of Hopper's film "The Last Movie." LIFE Magazine does a cover story about Hopper down in Peru, and stories circulate about the wild times on the set. Hopper spends a year editing the film, but Universal refuses to distribute it. The title of the film is almost prophetic regarding Hopper's career. [Me: His stepmother Nina Olivette passes away this year.]

Also in 1971, Dean stars in two television movies - "Paper Man" and "The Failing of Raymond."

1972 = stars in a low-budget biker-on-the-road flick titled "The Loners." The press release for the film states that Dean Stockwell has 'been living in England.'

1973 = Stars in "The Werewolf of Washington." Dean later says that the script was funny, but he knew by the very first day on the set that he was in a stinker.

1974 = Appears in a play in Albuquerque called "Relatively Speaking," and tells an interviewer from the local paper that he is tired of being typecast as a murderous lunatic who guest stars on television dramas. He would like to try comedy. [Me: There’s a 1972 newspaper article about Win Place or Steal that says he’d love to do more comedy, but I think his first comedic role as an adult was in his 1964 episode of Burke’s Law.]

Also around this time he is showing up in Taos quite a bit, getting drunk and stoned in bars with Dennis Hopper. But even though he was getting quite a reputation in Taos (and not a good one - Dean quotes, with good humor, a person saying "I always thought Dennis Hopper was the biggest asshole in Taos - until I met the other guy....,"), that isn't his entire existence. He is also still living in Topanga Canyon above Los Angeles, and the magazine "Fighting Stars" does a cover story on Dean about his newfound interest, Stickfighting.

Dean comes across in the interview as an eager, enthusiastic man, younger than his stated age (the photos that accompany the article look like a man in his 20's instead of a man approaching 40), who has discovered the martial art Stickfighting after appearing in a low-budget film in the Phillipines. He is so involved with this sport that he brings his instructor over from the Phillipines, Remy Presas, to stay at his house. He also tells the interviewer that he really doesn't care if he never acts again, as long as he can be involved in this martial art.

At the same time, though, Dean is happy to give his blessing to an official Fan Club, started by a woman named Geordie James (whom our member Claire was corresponding with at the time). Dean even telephoned Ms. James when he returned from the Phillipines, and he sounded just as eager and enthusiastic over the phone as he comes across in the magazine interview. Alas, there was a fire at the home of Ms. James, and the Fan Club never got off the ground.

1975 = stars in another low-budget film, this time a comedy, titled "Win, Place or Steal," with his friend and Topanga Canyon neighbor Russ Tamblyn. [Me: This was filmed around 1972.]

Also in 1975, spends a fastpaced summer with his friend David Bowie, who was living in Hollywood at the time. Bowie recalls making the club scene with Dean and Dennis; Iggy Pop remembers them visiting him in the mental hospital.

1976 = Does the photography/artwork for the cover of Neil Young's album "American Stars 'N Bars" (9 years earlier, Dean had contributed a photo of the artist Wallace Berman for the cover of the Beatles "Sgt. Pepper" album).

Also, in 1976, Dean and his girlfriend Toni Basil accompanied Dennis Hopper to the Cannes Film Festival for a showing of the independent film "Tracks," which both Dean and Dennis had appeared in. According to the gossip columns, there were parties on the beach from dusk to dawn, and it was here that Dean meets his future wife, Joy Marchenko. They begin a 5 year correspondence.

1977 to 1978 = Toni is very active in the punk rock scene, and the artist Bruce Conner makes a documentary about punk rock clubs in California, with her in it. Toni introduces Dean to the band Devo. Dean makes a tape of their music and gives it to Neil Young. Then Dean takes Neil to a club to see them.

1978 = Probably the beginning of the breakup with Toni, as she begins an affair with Devo's bass player. Dean moves in with Russ Tamblyn, still up in Topanga Canyon. During a frisbee game with Russ and Neil, the idea for "Human Highway" takes shape. Joined by Dennis Hopper and Devo, they begin filming a movie which will ultimately take 5 years to complete, and will end up being completely different than the original conception.

Stories circulate about the wild times on the set, which began as simple outdoor shots filmed around Taos, New Mexico, but which will end up being a very expensive studio set created by Neil Young's imagination.

1979 = Dean appears in Las Vegas doing comedy dinner theater ("Come Blow Your Horn"). Also directs an avant-garde play in Los Angeles called "Man With Bags," starring Russ Tamblyn (this is where our member Claire gets to meet him). A few weeks later she gets to meet him again at an art exhibition of George Herms' work, which includes a showing of Dean's film creation "Moonstone." A good time was had by all.

#stockwell sassies

[multipleservicelisting]

Meena Harris, Building That Brand

Meena Harris, a lawyer and former tech executive, used to make statement T-shirts as a side job. Her most famous read, simply, “Phenomenal Woman.” (Perhaps you saw it on Instagram, worn by celebrities including Serena Williams, Lizzo, Ciara, Viola Davis, Laverne Cox and Eva Longoria.)

She also made hats for the “Phenomenal Mother” and sweatshirts for the “Phenomenal Voter.” All benefited various charities.

But during a summer of mass protests against racism and injustice, Ms. Harris’s apparel took on new resonance. Naomi Campbell wore a “Phenomenally Black” T-shirt for a high-end fashion event in July. Regina King accepted her lead actress Emmy in September wearing a shirt by Ms. Harris, with an illustration of Breonna Taylor and the words “Say Her Name.”

Ms. Harris’s passion project became her full-time job; she left her role as head of strategy and leadership at Uber to run her own company, called Phenomenal. She also picked up another side-gig — one that brought her more visibility than any prestigious job that came before it: campaign surrogate for her aunt, Kamala Harris, now the vice president-elect.

At the time, Ms. Harris, 36, made it clear that her clothing brand was “not something that I want to be using to promote the candidacy of a family member.” In a phone interview, she added: “There’s a lot of cool people in my family that do cool stuff. And this is my thing. I’m doing my own thing.”

But her relationship to the vice president-elect is a fact that can’t be separated from her story or that of her business.

As a surrogate, Ms. Harris offered insight into her family in ways traditional (introducing her aunt in a video at the Democratic National Convention) and more novel (during the primaries, she defended her aunt’s criminal justice record against progressives who disparaged her as “a cop” in a series of Instagram stories).

She also sold several Kamala-related sweatshirts, including one with the letters “MVP,” for Madam Vice President; one emblazoned with the phrase “I’m Speaking,” referring to the much-memed moment from the vice-presidential debate; and a third with the names Sojourner (Truth), Harriet (Tubman), Shirley (Chisholm) and Barbara (Jordan) stacked above Kamala’s, released in partnership with Win With Black Women.

But putting a campaign slogan, like “Kamala for the People,” on a shirt would be too explicit, Ms. Harris said, crossing the line she’s drawn to protect her brand and establish her own identity.

“I look at her as another figure in history and someone to be celebrated,” she said of her aunt — for example, with a holiday sweatshirt reading “Deck the halls with smart, strong women, Kamala-la-la-la-la-la-la.”

‘What’s Our Message?’

The name of Ms. Harris’s company comes from a Maya Angelou poem, published in 1978: “I’m a woman / Phenomenally. / Phenomenal woman, / That’s me.”

First sold during Women’s History Month in March 2017, the “Phenomenal Woman” shirt was meant to remind people that Ms. Angelou “came before us, and it was women like her,” Ms. Harris said, “who made it possible for the Women’s March to happen in the huge way that it did.”

She planned to split profits from the shirt between seven women’s organizations. “I thought we’d sell a couple hundred shirts, if I got enough of my friends and family to support,” she said. But on release day, she sold more than 2,000, she said. (It was modeled online by friends, including Issa Rae, who was a college classmate, and America Ferrera.)

At the time, Ms. Harris didn’t know exactly what to do with the enthusiasm, she said: “How do we keep this going? What are we talking about? What are we doing? What’s our message?” So she gave herself a mission: raising awareness around issues affecting underrepresented communities.

The Breonna Taylor shirt, released in August, flooded social media, buoyed again by a flock of celebrities. On its front, the black tee read “Arrest The Cops Who Killed Breonna Taylor” in pink text (Ms. King wore it backward at the virtual Emmys). Profits from the $45 shirt benefited the Breonna Taylor Foundation. (Depending on sales, other Phenomenal products raise anywhere from $5,000 to $150,000 for a nonprofit, according to Ms. Harris.)

Inevitably, the simple T-shirt company has become a multipurpose venture, with a content arm, Phenomenal Media (for publishing articles and putting out full-page newspaper ads), and a creative agency, Phenomenal Productions (which will make videos, products and other content for ideologically aligned clients). On Jan. 19, Ms. Harris will publish her second children’s book, “Ambitious Girl.” And on the following day, one of the characters in her first children’s book, “Kamala and Maya’s Big Idea,” about two sisters taking on a community project, will take her oath for the second highest office in the nation.

‘Entrepreneurial Tendencies’

Kamala and Maya were raised primarily by their mother, Shyamala Gopalan, a scientist and activist.

When Maya was 17, she had Meena. She raised her daughter with the help of her mother and sister, while earning degrees and building a career in law and progressive policy. Maya worked as a law school dean, executive director of the A.C.L.U. of Northern California, adviser to Hillary Clinton, and her sister’s campaign chairwoman — among other roles. Since 1998, she has been married to Tony West, who was the associate attorney general during the Obama administration and is now Uber’s chief legal officer.

Young Meena Harris, surrounded by lawyers, wasn’t nudged toward law. Her first job, after graduating from Stanford University in 2006, was as a community operations manager at Facebook — just as it was expanding to the general public, no longer available only to college students.

Ms. Harris also joined the 2008 Obama campaign, in youth vote organizing and grass roots fund-raising. But finally, she decided to start law school, as if it were the “path of least resistance,” she said.

In 2014, two years after she graduated from Harvard Law School, Ms. Harris was working as a cybersecurity and data privacy attorney in Washington, D.C., when she had her first “kind of fun, provocative” idea for a T-shirt, she said. Inspired by the early Mark Zuckerberg business card that said “I’m CEO, bitch,” her tee read “I’m an entrepreneur, bitch.” (These were the “Lean In” years.)

By 2015, Tyra Banks was wearing the shirt onstage during press interviews. And Ms. Harris — who’d always identified as a creative person with “entrepreneurial tendencies,” she said — was feeling, for the first time, like an entrepreneur.

Statement as Brand

T-shirts are not a new form of expression, either of values or of protest. But unrest during the Trump administration — and the steady rise of both political expression and posturing on social media — has inspired a great number of them. Mugs, onesies, pet collars, phone cases and fanny packs, too.

In September 2019, the sisters Kate and Lisa Sokolov founded Social Goods, an online boutique for activist apparel. All of their sales include a donation — on average 25 percent of the proceeds, the founders said — to various related nonprofits. Phenomenal was one of the first brands sold on their site.

The founders see merchandise as a “catalyst and entry point for change,” Kate Sokolov said — “a way to get people to start talking and keep talking about issues.”

It’s the “keep talking” part of it that Ms. Harris has been considering herself lately.

“I think this is going to be a big question for us next year. When we don’t have the constant drama and attacks that are coming out of the administration, how do we keep people engaged in a meaningful way?” she said. “Not just the people that have been doing this work, and will continue doing this work, and are literally doing it all day every day. But regular folks.”

Communicating serious messages through a medium like apparel is tricky. Tone is paramount. Nuance can be lost. There’s only so much room on a tee.

“Just because a bunch of people liked it doesn’t mean that you should go put it on a T-shirt and sell it,” Ms. Harris said, of ideas she knew would be popular but messy.

Not everything sold by Phenomenal has a social justice message. Addressing work-from-home culture, Ms. Harris released sweatshirts in 2020 that read “Can everyone mute please?” She’s also sold pieces without phrases, like a one-piece swimsuit printed with Sonia Sotomayor’s face. Proceeds from these more general items are donated to a spread of nonprofits, rather than to a specific cause or organization.

One of those nonprofits is Essie Justice Group, an organization for women with incarcerated loved ones. Gina Clayton-Johnson, the group’s founder and executive director, said working with Phenomenal has relieved some of the overwhelming pressure to fund-raise.

“My team needs to be writing policy, running healing circles and organizing outside jails and prisons. They don’t need to be setting up chairs at a fund-raiser, or putting cute little sequins in envelopes,” Ms. Clayton-Johnson said.

‘Breaking Away’

On a phone call in August, the day after making her Democratic National Convention debut, Ms. Harris described herself as happy but “running on fumes.” She’d spent that night “drinking wine in a furry bathrobe” while watching the videos and speeches, she said.

During a conversation a few months later, the election was over but the holidays were approaching, and Ms. Harris’s partner Nikolas Ajagu, who works as an executive at Facebook, had just told her that letters to Santa from their two daughters (ages 2 and 4) had gone missing. There was a pile of laundry on the couch and the house was a “mess,” she said, using an expletive.

Because of her work with Phenomenal, Ms. Harris already had a robust following before her aunt became Joe Biden’s running mate in August. But starting that month, she began gaining followers on Twitter and Instagram in droves.

Accordingly, she has faced more criticism, trolling and general scrutiny for actions associated with her family. One recurring topic is Prop 22, a California ballot measure approved by voters in November, allowing companies like Uber to continue classifying drivers as independent contractors rather than as employees.

Ms. Harris’s stepfather is the top lawyer at Uber, which spent millions trying to pass the measure. (Her aunt strongly opposed it.) Ms. Harris was dragged into the fight as well because of her former job at Uber. In November — after the election — she decided to make it clear that she voted against Prop 22.

“I think it’s a very simple thing,” she said. “I’m very lucky to be in a family of a bunch of successful people who are doing a lot of different things. There’s interesting dynamics around that, but I’m my own person with my own views and my own platform and my own aspirations.

“Sure, you can be curious about somebody’s relationship with their family, or how their communications around these things are,” she said. But at the same time, she noted, “I’m not an elected official. I’m not formally accountable as a public servant, and I think sometimes, people do kind of treat you that way if you have a public profile.” (She later added: “It’s weird to talk about yourself as having a public profile.”)

When she talked about her decision to leave Uber in June, Ms. Harris used phrases like “breaking away” and “liberating myself.” For years, she’d felt like she was on a “treadmill of checking prestige boxes” — elite schooling, a law degree, a high-powered tech career, a treadmill powered by the ambition of her first-generation immigrant family.

Still, that ambition was fairly contained to the worlds of law and activism, “which of course, are core to who I am and how I view everything,” she said.

“No one in my family, other than me, has a business-minded bone in their bodies. I was not exposed to that at all,” Ms. Harris said. (Her stepfather didn’t take a job in the corporate world until 2014.) The idea of entrepreneurship? “That was just totally foreign.”

Now, she’s on a new treadmill. “I just didn’t really know the path to getting there,” she said.

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