#the show didn't even have the guts to say the word abuse

[reachermori]

I continue to break my tumblr hiatus for this show because I'm so annoyed with this stupidity and feel the need to put my thoughts into words.

Apologies for the rant. It's a little all over the place, but I tried to put it in a coherent order. It mostly focuses on hating James and on how I think Ted and Jamie's relationship and arcs were wasted, especially in relation to one another.

If the ending scene is indeed Ted's dream, I think it's even worse in regards to Jamie and Beard. Essentially Ted's "happy" versions of them have them close to their abusers, who have done nothing to deserve it.

The idea that Ted's happy ending for Jamie is him reconnecting with his father, who seems proud of him, is pure projection. That's what Ted wants for himself, but he's also inserting his own good relationship with his father. (Which, if we were getting more episodes I might be okay with as it would be interesting to explore.)

The first two seasons really built up Jamie and Ted to have a good relationship, or at least be important to one another, and I still think they could have had a really powerful impact on one another.

While Jamie has grown a lot and that had a lot to do with Ted's influence, I think he could have had that talk with Ted instead of Roy about how having a positive male influence is important to his continued growth. Ted however, could have learned through Jamie and his struggles with his father's toxicity that it's okay to let go.

I have always been happy with the idea of the show ending with Ted returning to Kansas, because I thought it was important for Ted to learn that it's okay to leave and move on. Ted's biggest internal conflict is his inability to quit things, and I really wanted him to accept that quitting isn't inherently bad. Maybe even have an arc with Henry in a toxic situation that he's sticking with because he knows his dad never quits anything to reinforce to Ted how problematic that mindset is, and decide that it's okay to quit Richmond to be with Henry where he clearly wants to be. (Also I disagree with the idea that Ted has nothing in Kansas besides Henry. I doubt Ted Lasso of all people has no one. He built a community in Richmond in only three years. He'd been in Kansas the entirety of his life up until then, there's no way he has no one. Also, even if he didn't, his relationship with his son is more important and I don't fault him for prioritizing that)

This is where I think Jamie could have helped Ted's arc. They could have had parallel journeys in deciding their father's actions do not have to define them, and I think Jamie could have reached this point first and be the one to impart wisdom on Ted for once. You could even keep the "forgiveness" talk Ted gave to Jamie, and then have Jamie come back after the game and say something that conveys "fuck forgiveness, he doesn't deserve that. But I do need to let go of the pain or I'll just hold myself back from growing. Because I'm done letting him have any influence on who I am."

Instead of getting anything with any nuance or something different than every other abuse plot in any show ever, we just had the ghost of Ted all season. He was barely in this season! Especially with relation to the players. We only had one scene of Ted and Jamie talking as people (instead of talking about football strategies or Zava when the coaches just assumed Jamie was jealous instead of concerned about the team dynamics) and connecting, and it was for Ted to tell Jamie about the importance of forgiveness.

Sorry but abuse isn't something you should just forgive, especially since James isn't making amends. He's getting sober, and we don't know if it was his choice, it could have been court mandated for all we know. Also I said this in my previous post, but addiction doesn't just make you abusive, and it especially doesn't make you facilitate your child being sexually assaulted. So I don't see any world where just getting clean makes James worthy of forgiveness. More importantly is that Ted and Jamie don't know that James is even in rehab when they have this conversation!

It's bad enough that we had to deal with the cliche "forgive him for you" perspective, but now we know it either leads to reconciliation, or at least Ted hopes/thinks it should. I'm not sure which is worse, but Ted thinking they should reconcile when he lacks a lot of knowledge about the depth of abuse Jamie endured is just insane.

I really wonder if Ted knowing about Amsterdam would have changed how he handled everything, since that is - in my opinion - the worst thing we know James has done to Jamie canonically. (Or if he knew about him trying to murder Beard...) Though knowing this show and how this season was written, if there was any discussion about this they would mess it up even more. Like I can just imagine a tangent about how many sex workers are disadvantaged, and how they may not have had a choice either, and diminishing Jamie's trauma AGAIN!

However it shouldn't matter what he knows, it's not like Ted is ignorant to the abuse, he's witnessed it twice. The first time he just walked away, something else I wish the show addressed at any point. Ted only saw what James was willing to do in public, and doesn't seem to have ever considered it being worse in private or when Jamie was younger. Bringing up the first Man City match would have been a good way for Jamie and Ted to fully open up to one another and relate to each other regarding their trauma and how they've let it hold them back.

For a show that emphasizes the relationship between father and sons, they really decided to abandon all the father figure relationships they had, especially Ted with Jamie & Nate.

I actually think it works with Nate, since it's clear Nate and his father's biggest problem was that they just could never be on the same wavelength, and while they can't fix the past, they can now create the bond they always should have had. His father actually acknowledged his wrong doings and apologized, and that level of accountability is missing from James' "redemption". Also Nate's father had a good relationship with his wife and daughter, so it makes it more obvious that his and Nate's issues are due to a disconnect and not out of malice. James never had a single good character trait until they decided to redeem him out of nowhere in the last two episodes. If we at least had Jamie say something like "my dad was great before drinking" it would have at least made the rehab stuff seem a little more like redemption. But we only have Jamie and his mother talking about how James has always been like this, and will never change.

Just changing a few things to make Ted and Jamie's relationship pay off in this season for both of them, would have done a world of good.

Anyways this has been a little all over so I'll leave it here, but suffice to say, I disliked the finale...

#jamie tartt #ted lasso spoilers #james tartt #sorry for the long rant #it's also a mess so sorry about that #i just have a lot of thoughts and they didn't come out as smoothly as i wanted #i can't get past the stupid stuff they threw into the last two episodes of this show #Jamie's arc is my favourite in the whole show #and they did this with it #dont even get me started about the sex tape thing #after he gave Keeley an aamzing apology and was the only one aside from Rebecca to acknowledge her hurt and pain #now he just brags about it like s1 jamie #thank god for tumblr #reddit is full of people talking about how “moving” the scene with jamie and his dad was #no it isnt #it's so unearned and ruins anything they could have actually said about abuse #the show didn't even have the guts to say the word abuse #so i guess i shouldn't have been surprised #also Ted was barely in this season #aside from the scene with his mom i can barely remember what he did this season #oh right because it all happened off screen #like we couldnt even get the final truth bomb? #because they decided to be cute this season and just tell us all the important conversations happened off screen

[darlingshane]

Todo Tuyo (All Yours)

Pairing: Criminal!Shane Walsh x Spanish!Pregnant!Reader

Summary: Some bonds are unable to explain, and yours with Shane has always been a mystery. No matter how many times he's hurt you, you always ended up taking back his sorry ass. This time, after three years gone, when he comes back, you're married and pregnant. And not even that can challenge that bond.

Content/Warnings: 18+, Explicit, Heavy Angst, Smut, Pregnancy Kink, Breeding Kink, Oral Sex (f. receiving), Vaginal Sex, Complicated Relationships, DV, Abuse, Mention of drugs and violence, bittersweet ending.

Word Count: 10.9k

— Read below or at AO3.

A/N: A few important things you should know before reading since I couldn't sum it all up:

— The DV and Abuse warnings don't apply to Shane. — Reader's husband is the abuser. — This is kind of a Dark!Shane version, but he's soft for reader, I promise! — I wrote this as a Spanish!Speaking Reader. — Shane is fluent in Spanish. He learned for her. — I tried to keep Spanish down to a few sentences only, but I translated them all in (bold, italic parenthesis like this). — I won't be translating however all the pet names, just when I need to. But for reference – Shane calls reader 'Corazón' (it means heart, it's the equivalent of Sweetheart) and Reader calls Shane 'Cielo' (it means sky, and it's just like Sweetheart or Honey.)

“What the hell are you doing here?”

You only cracked the door as far as the chain on the lock let you. Through it, you could only see half of your ex-boyfriend's face shadowed under a worn-out baseball cap from Jim’s Body Shop. A handful of curls stuck out on the sides. His chin had a nice shadow from a three-day stubble, and the bags below his eyes gave away that he had been up for longer than he should have. He was still the hottest motherfucker you’ve ever laid your eyes on. No matter how much time had passed since the last time you saw him, Shane Walsh aged just like wine and all you wanted to do is pour yourself a cup of that.

That’s how strong was his hold on you.

You didn't have to be a genius to see that he wanted something from you. That was his MO, he only showed up when he was in trouble and had no one to turn to but poor old sucker you, who never had the guts to kick him to the curb.

“I need a place to stay for a couple of nights,” he said under a breath.

“Things have changed. You can’t stay here this time.”

“Look, I know it's been a while but–”

“A while?” you scoffed. “It's been three years, Shane.”

“I know that. But I don't really have anywhere else to go right now. I drove all the way from Wyoming just to see you. One night. That’s all I'm asking, Corazón. I won't get in your hair. I promise.”

You hated saying no to him, even after all this time. Even after all the times he's let you down, you couldn’t stand seeing him hurt with nowhere to go, but this time there was nothing you could do to help him. Except…

“I could get you a room at The Sennott for half off. If you need money…”

“No, keep your money. I'll work something out. Could I…”

“What?”

“Before I go, you think I could have a cup of coffee with you?”

You shook your head as his face leaned closer to the door frame.

“C'mon, baby, just one for old times,” his plush lips barely mumbled.

You caught a glimpse of those big, sad puppy eyes of his he pulled off so well. Whether it was genuine, it didn’t matter. The fact is that it worked like a charm and against your better judgment, you sighted, unlatched the chain and welcomed him into your home.

After all that time gone, you still had a soft stop from him, and you doubt that’ll ever change. Alas, he’d always be the man you’ve loved the most. That sucks for you and for him. Cause he has a tendency to disappear on you when you most need him, and after the last time, you decided that you wouldn't be waiting for him anymore.

“Wow, you’re pregnant,” taking off his cap, his eyes grew wide when he stepped inside the house.

“No me digas.” (You don’t say.)

It was hard to miss. You were seven months along already and couldn’t even believe it happened so fast.

Your palm drew the curve of your rounded belly over the t-shirt you were wearing. The hem barely touched the top of your thighs, and that’s where he looked next.

“You always had beautiful legs, Corazón,” he smirked, placing the backpack he was carrying on a chair.

“Flattery will get you nowhere,” you turned around and thought about all those times your thighs were wrapped around his head while he ate your pussy.

“It never did,” Shane scoffed, fixing his messed up curls.

You picked up the carafe from the machine, filled a mug with coffee without even bothering with heating it up.

“Five minutes. He’ll be here soon,” you said firmly, handing over the mug.

“I’ve always liked it cold anyway,” he lifted the cup up to his lips as you leaned on the counter. “You’re not having any?”

“It’s not good for the baby.”

“Oh, right.”

“What have you been up to, anyway?”

“Do you really wanna know?”

“Not really,” you crossed your arms and paused. “I guess I thought I deserved to know why you didn’t come back when you said you would. I saw Rick a few months ago and said he hadn’t heard of you in a while… led me to believe you were dead.”

“Shit happens.”

“Shit happens? Me lo merezco por preguntar,” you couldn’t hide the frustration in your tone. (I deserve that for asking.)

“I thought you’d be over me.”

“I am.”

“Ain't seem like it.”

“Mira, cabrón,” you showed him the ring around your finger, and pointed once more at your pregnant stomach. “I’m completely over you.” (Look, bastard.)

“That doesn’t prove shit. Looks like you wanted to one-up me, and move on as fast as possible so next time I’d show up, you’d have an excuse to throw me away.”

“Yeah, maybe. Doesn’t mean that I’m not over you.”

“You were always a terrible liar, you know that? Do you even love the poor sucker?”

“Why do you care?”

“Cause we both know, that no matter how much you hate me, you’d never love anyone as you love me.”

“That’s bullshit, Shane.”

“Sabes que es verdad, Corazón. You also know that no man would ever care for you like I do.” (You know that’s true, sweetheart.)

“If that were true, you wouldn’t be leaving every five minutes. You think you can just come here like nothing happened?”

“It's worked before.”

“It’s too late now.”

“Is it?”

He took one more sip from his coffee before placing the mug on the breakfast bar and going around it to have you closer.

As your stare fell to the floor, he noticed the bruise on your temple.

“Hey, what happened here?” he lifted his hand to your face and gently touched it.

“Nothing,” you swatted his hand away, swallowing the lump in your throat. “I hit my head with the cabinet last night.”

“Did he hit you?” His brow knitted.

“I told you. It was the cabinet.”

“Hey, mírame,” he placed a finger under your chin, and tilted up to capture your watery eyes. “Dime la verdad. ¿Te ha puesto la mano encima?” (Hey, Look at me. // Tell me the truth. Did he lay his hand on you?)

“Tienes que irte.” (You gotta go.)

“¿De qué tienes miedo, Corazón?” (What are you afraid of, Sweetheart?)

“No tengo miedo de nada… You just can’t be here when he comes back.” (I’m not afraid of anything…)

“Alright, I’ll go if that’s what you want, but I need to do something first,” he lifted his hand up to your face and framed your chin.

“Shane… don’t…”

“Sh, sh, it’s okay,” he said under a breath, placing his thumb gently on your lips.

“Please,” You weakly pleaded, knowing that you wouldn’t be able to stop what was about to happen.

His tongue swiped across his lips, and the next second they were gently pressed against yours.

Your eyes welled up and quickly shed a few tears upon that first initial contact. It didn’t take much to get you under his spell once more, for the umpteenth time. No matter how many times you’ve tried to convince yourself how fucking toxic he is, you fell for it every damn time like an idiot. It didn’t matter that you were married either, as bad as it sounds, what you and Shane had was something that couldn’t be stopped by any means. Only death could put an end to it. It didn’t help either that you weren’t on the best of terms with your husband either, so guilt went out the door the moment you let Shane in.

Unable to pull away, you let him deepen the kiss and invade your mouth with his tongue. He went slow and tender. That’s how it always started, he’d play on your good side, and once your defenses were down he’d go in full swing. He’d breathe in your air, soak in the taste of your mouth, take all the space until you were left breathless.

You linked your arms around his neck, and kissed him back, following the sweet undoing of his familiar lips as they fused tightly with yours.

When he tried to press himself closer to your body, your pregnant belly got on the way.

One of his palms tenderly landed on top of your stomach and drew the big curve that was keeping him away from you. Your heart fluttered as the small gesture.

“Have I told you how beautiful you are like this?” he broke the kiss, and looked down at his hand, while your head responded with a faint shake. “Eres preciosa, mi vida. I’d’ve put a baby in you before if that’s what you wanted.” (You’re gorgeous, my life.)

“I know, that’s why I never asked,” you placed your palm on top of his roughed-up knuckles. “Have you beaten up someone?”

“Something like that.”

“You’ll never change. Will you?”

“I could if you ask me.”

“You are who you are, Cielo. I can’t ask you that, and you can’t change for me.”

“Cielo. I missed that,” his face beamed, framing your tummy with both hands and dipped to kiss your forehead.

“One more for the road?” You held his face, and it was you this time the one capturing his mouth.

You kissed him as if this was the last time you’d ever see him. You needed something to hold onto. It was so fucking naive of you that he’d ever change or settle. He had another mistress, one that had no lips or body or soul that led him to the darkest of paths far away from yours. It was impossible to compete with that. Until he was ready to let that life go, there’ll be no future between the two of you.

Maybe one day, you kept hoping as you basked in the swirl of his tongue. He was so fucking needy and hungry for you, it became desperate. He panted in your mouth, had trouble catching his breath cause all he wanted to do is swallow you all.

His hands moved to your ass, gripped hard at your flesh. You wish you had the power to stop all that at once. You could, but you wanted him just as much. Your hormones were not helping either. They only fueled the flame that was still clearly alive between you.

You moaned in his mouth, as the sloppy doing of his tongue drove you out of your mind. One of his hands reached further down your bottom, slipping between your thighs to feel the dampness pooling on your underwear. He always knew how to get you wet with just a kiss, but this was something else entirely. You were sopping wet. He could feel your juices seeping through the fabric.

“Say that you don’t want me again, I dare you,” he drawled with a shit-eating grin.

“Shut up. I need you to fuck me,” you sucked in his lower lip hard between your teeth, tugged it, and let it go when it was bright pink.

He scoffed at your request, not of mockery but pride of being still able to incite you like that.

“We don’t have much time. You have to do it fast,” you warned and turned around, pushing your panties down to your ankles as he undid his belt and fly.

“Your wish is my command, Corazón.”

Shane quickly pulled out his cock. It was half hard.

Biting on your lip, you glanced over your shoulder to see him jerking himself off up to a firmer completion.

You stuck your butt out and propped your forearms on the hard surface of the counter, as Shane guided his cock oh so carefully between your tender lips.

“I’ve never fucked a pregnant woman before. I don't wanna hurt you,” he confessed in your ear as his hardness stroked just a little further into your walls.

“Don’t overthink it. Baby’s safe. Just fuck me like always.”

“Hmm,” he followed your order and after a couple of experimental thrusts, the pace of his hips skyrocketed to a punishing level that felt like heaven and hell rising at the same time between your legs. He kept your hips locked in his hands, fingers digging in your flesh as you tucked one of your hands between your legs to feel your juices leaking all over your legs and floor. It was like nothing else you’ve ever felt. Most of it was partially hormonal, the other part was a mix of being touch-starved from your husband, and missing Shane, and his cock like crazy.

You rubbed your clit and all of a sudden one of his hands slipped under the hem of your shirt at the front to feel your breasts.

“Fuck, you’re so big and juicy, mi vida,” he grunted, squeezing your overly-sensitive, pebbled nipple that felt like a rock between his fingers. His face leaned closer to whisper in your ear. “I’d put another baby in there if I could. You’d like that?”

“God, I would love that,” you moaned, throwing your head back against his shoulder. “Come inside me, mi amor.”

“Yeah? Tell me you love me, and I’ll give you anything you want.”

“I love you, Cielo,” you gasped as he removed your hand from your pussy to replace it with his own. “I fucking love you and your big cock. Please. Hmm, fuck… fuck, fu…”

“There, mi vida.”

You felt your soul being pulled out of your body when the winning push forced a torrent of pleasure that traveled over your body as your opening contracted around his dick. You went up so high, so fast, you almost didn’t feel when he shot his load.

When he slipped out of you, you quickly went down to pull on your panties back in place. You almost felt embarrassed at the mess that you made on the floor and all over the cabinets below the counter if it didn’t feel that good.

“You really have to go now,” placing a palm on his chest, you glanced out the window, knowing that your husband wouldn’t take much longer now.

“I wanna see you again.”

Your eyes welled up. “We can’t do this again, Shane. If he finds out…”

“Please,” he pleaded over and over in between a trail of desperation and kisses peppered all over your face and neck. “I can’t live without you, mi amor, mi cielo, mi corazón. Te necesito.” (My love, my sky, my heart. I need you.)

“Shit. Alright,” you paused to collect your thoughts. “Come tonight. After ten. He’ll be gone the whole weekend. If there’s a truck on the driveway you turn away.”

“Got it.”

“Leave your car at the end of the street, you walk all the way here, and come at the back. ¿Entendido?” you pointed at the back door in your kitchen. (Got it?)

“Alto y claro.” (Loud and clear.)

“C’mere, Cielo,” you wrapped your arms tightly around him, and inhaled the smell of his neck for a long moment before sending him in his way.

You went into the bathroom to clean yourself up and saw his seed had dripped from your pussy to your panties. It was still warm and wet. You dabbed your fingers on it and shamelessly brought it to your lips to remember how his cum tasted. Then you pushed those same fingers into your opening to pick up the remains of you and him and licked every bit of it off your digits.

You hated that he had turned you into this mess of a woman that couldn’t ever resist him. Some bonds are unable to explain, and as much as you hated him, you loved him even more than you thought.

As you wiped your legs and changed your underwear, you felt the roaring of your husband’s truck pulling up the driveway before stomping into the house. You hurried to clean up the mess in the kitchen. You could tell it smelled like sex, but Clayton had been drinking as usual, and his senses were shot by the stench of alcohol.

You really knew how to pick them. First Shane, then Clayton. To be fair, Clay was a completely different person when you met him. It wasn’t until a few months ago that he lost his job, and you got pregnant that he started showing his true colors. While Shane, you always knew what you were in for cause he was always the same person from beginning to end, he never hid what he was.

Every other weekend Clay went to a cabin up in the mountains with a group of friends to hunt and whatever the hell they did cause hardly you ever saw anything brought back from those alleged hunting trips. He just brought more dirty clothes soaked in booze and muddied boots. Lately, you didn't even care. You actually preferred when he was gone cause it got him out of the house and those weekends away were the only times you could breathe.

For all that he had put you through, you didn’t feel guilty in the slightest from doing what you did with Shane. God knows Clay would probably be fucking around. You were sure of it cause one, he hand’t touch you since you told him you were pregnant; and two you weren't blind or deaf either, and had caught him talking overly friendly, like he used to talk to you at the beginning, over the phone a couple of times when he thought you were asleep.

“Did you have coffee?” Clay picked up the mug with coffee grounds that Shane left on the counter. “You shouldn’t drink it.”

“I didn’t have any. I had a friend over earlier and I forgot to clean it up.”

“You know how I feel about having people in my house when I’m not here.”

“It’s my house actually,” you pointed out. “What? Are you gonna forbid me from having friends over now?”

You knew you shouldn't poke the bear when it was drunk, but sometimes your mouth ran faster than your brain.

“We're married, remember? What's yours is mine and all that shit. Don't forget that, bitch.”

God, you had to refrain so hard from punching his face.

As you headed out of the kitchen to avoid getting yourself further into trouble, he grabbed your arm, stopping you from leaving.

“I am your husband. And this is my house. You'd be nothing without me. Show some respect.”

“Men who hurt their wives, their pregnant wives, don't deserve any respect,” you snarled. “Now let me go before you do something you might regret later.”

He looked at you with sharp steel eyes, clutching your arm so hard it felt like he might snap it in half. He wanted to hit you so badly, you could tell, like the night before when he swung the remote across your face when you accidentally knocked over his beer.

You held his stare just as defiantly, and pulled your arm free from his grasp. It left a mark that turned into a bruise quickly after.

Staying out of his way, you went into the nursery and sat down with a book on the armchair to read while he gathered his hunting supplies. You heard him heating up some leftovers and showering before leaving.

All you could think when you listened to his truck drive off was seeing Shane again. You had a couple of hours left to get ready. It was a safe window for you to know that your husband was up in the mountains and wouldn't be coming back till Sunday. You followed his friend's updates on Instagram to keep track of him. Trent was an avid poster, and it was the perfect way to keep tabs on him to avoid the imminent disaster of him finding you with your ex.

You took a shower and changed the sheets of your bed, so they wouldn't smell like Clayton. You were dead set on banging Shane in your bed. Technically, he had fucked you many times before, pretty much in every room of this house but never in your new marital bed. It really excited you thinking about it. You wished you had more time to go to the mall to purchase some sexy lingerie that fitted your pregnant body.

God, Shane really knew how to turn you into an idiot.

In the end, it didn't matter what you wore cause it wouldn't stay on for long. You opted for wearing a pair of lacy panties that you could still fit, but the matching bra didn't stand a chance against your new boobs. You put on a flannel shirt instead, and buttoned a couple of buttons that allowed for your generous cleavage to be the center of attention.

You took off your ring as well and hid it in one of the drawers of your nightstand.

When you finished fixing your hair you went around the house and drew all the curtains for privacy. Then you finally got to relax for a while. You checked Trent's Instagram to make sure they had arrived at the cabin. Exactly like you predicted, he documented the whole thing.

Waiting for Shane, you watched TV and ate some food. When you looked at the clock it was twenty minutes past ten. He couldn't be far, right? You built yourself up to the idea of meeting him again, that’d be disappointing if he didn’t come.

For ten more minutes, you started to believe you shouldn’t have put that much effort until you heard a soft knocking on the back door.

“Empezaba a creer que habías cambiado de idea,” you said, letting him in, and securing the lock on the door. (I was starting to think you changed your mind.)

“When have I ever disappointed you, mi vida?” As you took his hand, you gave him a look, and he scoffed, “don’t answer that.”

“I’m just glad you came back.”

“Fuck! Look at you, Corazón,” his eyes traveled down your body when you turned to him. “You wanna give me a heart attack?”

Taking that as a win, you grabbed the collar of his shirt, pulled firmly towards you to have his lips crash against yours. Then you took him to the bedroom and as you were about to capture his mouth again, Shane stopped you.

“Hold on,” he put some distance between the two of you. “I need to get a good look at you.”

He took off his shirt and tossed aside, as he circled around your body, committing to memory the new curves of your body. When he stood in front of you, you took a closer look at his exposed chest and gulped at the sight of your name tattooed in delicate lettering over his left pec.

“You got that for me?” you traced it with a finger.

“Si, Corazón.”

Your stomach fluttered as his fingers undid the two buttons of your shirt and pushed it off your shoulders to uncover your breasts and baby bump.

“You’re gorgeous like this, mi vida,” the flannel shirt fell to the floor as the back of his knuckles brushed the side of your heavy breast before holding one of them in his hand. It was way larger than his palm he realized, he used to be able to hold it all, now your flesh puffed up between his fingers when he squeezed. “You’re so sensitive.” He noticed your nipples getting hard with just a light touch.

“You can’t even imagine,” you laughed.

“How about here?” Shane guided his other hand between your legs to feel that you were already wet.

You hummed at the soft strokes of his fingers as they slid under the elastic to caress your tender skin. His lips parted at the corner of your mouth as he gathered the arousal from your folds. Your lips down there were puffed too from all the blood gathering all at your core.

“Lay down, I wanna eat you up, Darlin’.”

He bit his bottom lip and watched you following his order. You slipped your panties off under the dark stare of his beautiful eyes that had turned from sweet to a dangerous edge that could set anyone on fire.

You tucked a few pillows beneath your back to keep the weight of your belly off your spine, and reclined as comfortably as you could, spreading your legs wide for him like an offering.

With a grin, he propped a knee on the bed and looked at your cunt as if it was the most precious thing he’s ever seen. He settled between your legs, curled his arms around your thighs and dived right in. With the tip of his nimble tongue, he slowly drew the shape of your lips before circling around your clit. Unlike your husband, Shane was a master of giving head, and was well versed on your pussy. Even after all this time, he still remembered what made you tick.

A shiver ran down your spine as the plane of his tongue licked long strokes from your entrance to your swollen bud.

You threw your head back when his lips wrapped around it. The vicious pressure of his lips around that bundle of nerves felt out of this world.

“God, I’ve missed you, Cielo,” you moaned, threading your fingers in his hair.

“You taste so fucking good,” he grunted ferociously against your folds as a response and all of a sudden he began to suck on you like a starving beast.

Your juices, just as before, leaked all over. It was ridiculous how much you could produce in such a short time. You could feel the fabric below your ass absorbing them.

All your bearings were quickly lost as he took you closer to the edge. All you could do is cry out in pleasure, and squirm as his grip tightened around you to keep your hips in place. You tugged hard on his hair to anchor yourself but all that did is prompting him to go even harder.

“Close… I'm so… fuck, Shane, please… please,” you couldn't stop begging with shallow breaths. Your core was on fire, and you desperately needed to come. “Yes, like that… Ahhh.”

Your legs suddenly clenched around his head a wave of wild bliss coursed through your body, from your center out in different directions. Your toes curled, your muscles shivered, your breathing faltered as your mind was temporarily blown into pure joy. You closed your eyes and let that all take you over your body for a few seconds.

Slowly coming back to your senses, your pussy tingled for a little longer than usual.

Shane was on his knees between your legs, massive erection in his hand when you opened your eyes to find him staring directly at you.

“Goddamn, Corazón. I wish I could take a picture of you like that. I've never seen you come like that for me,” he groaned, pumping his length. “Look how fat you made me.”

Softly laughing, you managed to lift your hand to help him. You replaced his fist with yours and felt the jerking of his firm dick in your palm. His girth was so wide, your thumb couldn't touch any of your other fingers in a curl.

You wondered how many pussies his cock fucked during the past few years. And without thinking or stopping your hand, you asked…

“Di, ¿cuántas zorras te has tirado con mi polla?” (Say, how many bitches have you fucked with my cock?)

“¿Tu polla?” he snorted. (Your cock?)

“Yes, just mine,” you winked as you kept your hand moving. “Dime la verdad o paro.” (Tell me the truth, or I’ll stop.)

“Hmm, no me tortures así, Corazón.” (Hmm, don’t torture me like that, Sweetheart.)

“Come on. Tell me,” you requested again.

“None,” he panted, unable to keep up with the rhythm of your hand. He had to brace a palm on the mattress to keep himself from falling. “You said it. Soy todo tuyo, mi vida. Te lo prometo.” (I’m all yours, my life. I promise.)

You smiled widely, pressing your teeth on your lower lip, as you enthusiastically got him to ejaculate all over your swollen belly. It was warm and sticky, and you couldn't help but spread it like butter all over your tight skin, and bring some of it again to your mouth as Shane’s body melted next to yours.

You turned to the side, pushing the pillows under your back aside, keeping one for your head.

Your fingers found his stubbled jaw as you tilted his face in your direction.

“You really haven't been with anyone since the last time I saw you?”

“No. Not like this, Darlin’. Don’t get me wrong, I fooled around with a couple of girls but nothing else. You know me better than that.”

“I'm not sure if that's still true.”

“Do you wanna know where I've been the last two years?”

You were afraid to find out, but your head nodded anyway.

“Prison,” he said without breaking eye contact.

“What for?”

“Possession. Bet you thought it was about time they caught up with me, huh?”

“No, I’ve never thought that, Shane. As much as I wanted to punish you sometimes, I never wished for that to happen. When did you get out?”

“Yesterday morning,” he smiled softly. “All I could think was you, so I got in the car and I drove all the way here without stopping.”

“You could've called me.”

“I couldn't.”

“Why not?”

“Cause you would've dropped everything to help me, and I couldn't put that on you.”

“I wish you had. I would've done anything…”

“I know.”

“I'd have waited for you.”

“I know that too, Corazón. Don't beat yourself up for it.”

Your phone dinged, and you blindly extended your hand to pick up from your nightstand. It was another update from Trent. They were playing beer pong like fucking frat guys, and you couldn’t help but roll your eyes.

“What’s that?” Shane asked.

“Oh, nothing, just checking on him. I’m keeping tabs on his friend’s Instagram to see that he’s still at the cabin.”

“No, not that. This,” Shane lifted your wrist as the soft light from the night lamp highlighted the mark on your forearm. “You didn't have this earlier. I told you my truth. Would you tell me yours?”

Placing your phone down, you pursed your lips, pondering why you’re still protecting that asshole.

“I… you were right earlier. I don’t really love him anymore. I don’t think I ever did. I just needed some stability and I thought he was it. This happened after you left. And this,” then you pointed to your temple, “he smacked me with the remote last night.”

“Why are you with someone like that? I thought–”

“You thought, what, that I had some self-respect? I used to. I think I did. It’s more complicated than you think. He wasn’t like that when I met him.”

“They hardly ever are.”

“He lost his job a few months ago and started drinking, it wasn’t until recently that he-”

“Stop. Don’t make excuses for him. Losing a job doesn’t give you the right to be an asshole and hit your wife or any woman at all. And drinking… I know a thing or two about getting wasted, and I never put my hand on you no matter how drunk I was.”

“You're right… I don’t know what to do anymore.”

“Then, kick him out. Call the police. Get a restraining order. This is still your house, right?”

“Yeah, it is. But like I said – it’s more complicated than that. He has two cop friends. Best friends. They protect each other like fucking wolves. Last year, one of them killed a girl in a DUI, and he got nothing but a slap on the wrist. If I were to show up to ask for a restraining order, who do you think they’ll protect?”

“That’s fucking crazy. You can't live like that, baby.”

You sighted, combing the curls behind his ear. “Sometimes, when he goes away like this I think – this time he’d be too drunk to drive, and he’d end up going over a cliff, die upon impact and would never set foot in this house again. I keep closing my eyes at night and dreaming about it.”

Shane softly patted your hair back, and snuggled closer to you, wrapping you in his arms.

“I’m not gonna let him hurt you again. I promise, Corazón.”

“You don’t have to save me.”

“Lo sé, mi vida.”

Smiling against his chest, basking in the familiar scent of Shane, and feeling the big flutter of a kicking storm in your stomach. You held his hand and placed it on the side of your belly.

“She’s kicking. Can you feel that?”

“Yeah, I feel it. She? It’s a girl?”

“Yeah.”

“She’s strong. Does she have a name?”

“She does,” you placed your mouth over his ear, and whispered the name of your baby girl.

“That’s a beautiful name. She’s gonna kick ass, just like her mama.”

“I hope so,” your lips quirked up as you placed a small kiss on the corner of his mouth and confessed. “I wish she was yours.”

“I wish she was mine too.”

Your lips locked together once more as you rid yourself of all bad thoughts clouding your head. You only ever wanted Shane. It’s easier to forget how much you love him when he’s not around, and just as easier to remember that you’d die for him if you had to. As the intensity of the kiss rose, you shifted and straddled his waist. He watched you become a goddess as you rubbed yourself over his dick, getting it to fully harden.

“Are you in heat or something?” he laughed, holding your hips.

“It’s the hormones. What? Aren’t you up for the challenge, big guy?”

“Oh, I’m up, alright.”

You lifted your ass, held his cock and carefully sank onto it.

Rocking back and forth you propped your hands on his broad chest, so you could boost yourself up to bounce all over his massive erection. His hands held your ass to help you go faster.

When you caught him eyeing your big breast you bent over, holding one in your hand and put it over his mouth, so he can suck on it. His lips wrapped tight around your sensitive nipple and latched on it. You were growling at the wonderful sensation paired with his throbbing cock inside you.

“God, Corazón, you’re amazing, you feel so… “ He moaned as he switched to the other nipple.

This time his teeth scraped the surface, and you almost came at the surprise. You were so close you couldn’t help but bounce a little faster. You had to brace both hands again to keep up with the rhythm. The weight of your belly started to hinder your pace the closer you got to the edge.

“Help me,” you grabbed Shane's hand and put it on your clit, pleading with a cry, “I need it. Please.”

“I got you, baby. I got you.”

He rubbed viciously on your clit until you came with such force all your juices squirted all over him. Then the pleasure of your orgasm forced his own. His cocked jerked, and suddenly you were filled again with his delicious seed.

You didn’t hear Shane leaving after you fell asleep in his arms.

When you woke up to pee a couple of hours later, the clock marked 4AM, and he wasn't in your bed anymore. He had left the house altogether. You didn't have plans for the next day, but you weren't expecting him to leave that early in the morning either without saying goodbye.

There was a pang of disappointment in your chest as you went back to bed, but you closed your eyes, naively hoping he'd come back later.

It was your lucky day cause when you opened your eyes again, he was back and had brought breakfast with him. All our favorite plates were laid on the breakfast bar as he made a fresh batch of coffee.

“Where did you go, Cielo?” you asked in between bites.

“Went out for breakfast.”

“I can see that. I mean earlier. Woke up at 4 and you were gone.”

He took a long sip of his cup before responding, “I couldn’t sleep, so I went for a drive to clear my head.”

“It must be strange sleeping in a new bed.”

“Yeah, a little.”

“I have to work later. I can call in sick if you want–” you offered.

“No, baby, do what you gotta do. No te preocupes por mí.” (Don’t worry about me.)

“You can’t stay here, but I could still get you a room at the hotel if you’re tired.”

“Nah, do your thing, I’ll figure it out.”

“Would you… come later?”

“Do you want me to?”

“Yeah.”

“Then I’ll be here, Corazón,” he kissed your hair and picked up your phone from the counter, “unlock it. I’ll put in my new number, and you call me when you’re off. Yeah?”

“Prométeme que volverás,” you said before handing back the phone. (Promise that you’ll come back.)

“Lo prometo.” (I promise.)

After cleaning your plate you relaxed in bed for a little while, trying to get him to catch up with his sleep. There was no luck in that department cause he couldn't keep his eyes and hands off you. So once again, you found yourself in a trance of hormone-induced lust, and had Shane thrusting into you at full force from behind. Your ass was in the air, held in his broad palms, while you sobbed and moaned in pleasure against the pillow beneath your head. You desperately pushed back with your hips, taking him all in. Feeling every stroke, every inch and throb until your legs were left trembling and the fire in your core had spread through your whole body.

When you went off to work in the afternoon, it all seemed to become a hazy dream. It was all so intense that part of you thought it couldn't be real. But that was most of your relationship with Shane. Sometimes you couldn't help but feel you weren't enough for him. Him constantly leaving and breaking his promises was proof that you shouldn’t trust everything he says, but this time felt different. Maybe it was cause he was fresh out of prison, but you could tell that perhaps he was ready to stay out of trouble.

The first half of your shift went by quickly. You kept checking your phone like a maniac to make sure your husband stayed where he was supposed to, and luckily he did. If he wasn’t afraid of hurting you, you weren’t afraid of hurting him back, but you were indeed scared of him finding out about you and your old flame regardless.

You were at the front desk when Shane came in an hour before your shift ended to ask for a room. He needed a place to stay after all, and as the manager you managed pretty well to comp him a room for a couple of days. He carried his scarce luggage that consisted of just a duffle bag to his room, took a shower and waited for your shift to end.

Shane was half asleep when you finished work and knocked on his door. It was easy to see that he was utterly spent, so you didn’t make him drive back to the house. Instead, you stayed with him for the night. You trimmed his curls and shaved his face. Then, you took a long bath together like old times.

“Are you going to stay this time?” you asked once you got into bed.

You faced the other under covers and didn't talk louder than a whisper.

“I don't have anywhere else to go, baby.”

“Does that mean that you're done hustling?”

“I gotta. I don't have any other choice than to be done. Next time it could be 20 or 30 or life. I think I've tempted fate way too many times and got away with more than I should've. I had a lot of time to think and realized none of it mattered. Didn't care about the money. It was just… I don’t know, the power I guess. And I missed on a lot of time with you, and now I have nothing to show for. I don't really know what I'm gonna do, but I'm done with all that. All I know is that I just wanna be with you.”

“I…” your words caught up in your throat, as you tried to convey and process what he said at the same time. “I wanna believe that's true, but you've said you were done before and always felt right back into it.”

“This time is different. I can promise you that I'm not going anywhere this time. Cross my heart.”

Your lips softly pulled up at the corners as you placed your hand over your name's tattoo on his chest.

Regardless of his promise, you’d always have some reservations when it comes to him. Until he really proves it, there’s nothing stripping all those doubts he’s ingrained in you over the years.

When you woke up in the middle of the night he was gone like the night before. This time there was a note saying that he had gone out for a drive and signed it with – I love you, Corazón.

By the time you got up this time he hadn't come back. It didn't worry you though. You just went on with your day, drove back home to take a shower and run some errands before your next shift.

You weren't exactly sure what was going to happen next. You couldn't just jump into Shane's arms after all this time and pretend nothing ever happened. If this was really happening you had to make sure that was true to his word and figure out how he’d fit into your life when you were about to have a baby.

But most importantly, there was something you had to do first. Something that you should’ve done a long time ago and that was leaving your husband. You had been subjected to verbal and mental abuse for months that gradually turned into physical abuse. No matter how much it scared you, it was time to put your foot down and protect not only yourself but your daughter. She couldn’t be raised around him. And Shane or no Shane, it was something you couldn’t keep brushing aside hoping it’ll get better. It was easier to think about it than to actually do it. You weren’t sure how to start. Like you told Shane, going to Lafayette’s Police Department wasn’t an option. But maybe giving Rick a call and asking him for some guidance could be the first step of many.

You pinned that thought for the next day and went back to work a little earlier than usual. It was Sunday afternoon, and you dreaded that Clayton would be coming back later. So you decided to pay Shane a visit before work.

“You know, being here with you this weekend… it’s been the best thing that’s ever happened in a long time, Sweetheart.”

“Well, anything can beat spending two years in prison.”

“Don’t sell yourself short, mi vida. I mean it. I just hope you can forgive me someday for everything I’ve done. There’s a lot of shit you don’t know about that I wanna tell you but…”

He lowered his stare.

“Shane… I… If what you say it’s true, if you prove that I can count on you and that you’re not going back to all that, I’d never hold anything against you. That’s my promise. Whatever you did, you’ve done your time, right?”

“Right,” he picked up your hand and kissed your knuckles before smoothing his palm on your baby bump.

“I can come back later, just for a little while before going home.”

“If you feel like it, I’ll be here, Corazón. Always. No matter what happens.”

He said kind of ominously before you left the room. His tone was certainly different from the night before, he could barely look you in the eye as you said goodbye.

It really puzzled you as you went back to your desk. Maybe he was just tired or perhaps, he was actually feeling the weight of all his actions at once and was actually remorseful. You definitely hadn’t seen that look in his face before that afternoon.

On a quiet evening, when you thought this weekend couldn’t bring more surprises, there was something else that turned your world upside down when two of Clayton’s friends showed up at the front desk. It was the two cops, Simon and Paulie, or Prick One and Prick Two as you called them, asking you for a private place to talk.

You took them into the office where they asked you to sit down, so they could break the news of your husband’s death. It was hard to hear, no matter how many times you’ve fantasized about it, it seemed impossible and your first reaction when they told you he drove over a cliff was to burst into laughter.

“You guys are joshing, right?” you scoffed, and their faces remained unchanged, dead serious. “That can’t be right. He was with you the whole time. I saw it in Trent’s fucking pictures.”

“I’m really sorry, sweetheart. It’s true. We ran out of ice, and he said he was going to the gas station for more and never returned last night. We didn’t find him until this morning… we weren’t sure it was him until they got down to get him. That’s why we waited to tell you.”

“Ice? He went out for ice?” You gritted in disbelief.

“He was pretty wasted. We all were, but you know how he was, once he got something in his head…”

“That’s the last thing he said before leaving.”

“But we believe there was something else that I rather you hear from us than on the news. They found a bag with amphetamines and cocaine in his truck.”

“After he lost his job he was desperate and, we kinda knew that he was selling to-”

They kept spitting out information that didn’t seem feasible to you until you snapped.

“Stop, stop, stop,” you said stiffly, holding your palms up for a moment before getting up from your chair. “Everything you’re saying doesn’t make any sense. He’s many things, but he’s not a fucking drug dealer.”

Though it’d explain some things, you couldn’t believe Clayton had turned into that.

“You kinda knew? That’s bullshit. You either were fully aware of what he was up to or you two are the dumbest cops I’ve ever met. You just don’t – kinda knew –” you threw big air quotes at their own words.

“Hey!” Simon raised his voice for just a second before his partner motioned at him to have some tact.

“We know you’re hurting, sweetheart. It’s a lot to process, but we’re here for whatever you need. Clay would’ve wanted us to help you.”

A lot to process was an understatement.

You looked out the window and saw Shane’s jeep parked in the lot, and it dawned on you. It wasn’t an accident or a coincidence… It was Shane. He killed him. It was as clear as day. You told him about your fantasy of Clayton falling from a cliff the other night, and he made that happen. He murdered him in your name and these two clowns were obviously too stupid to figure that out.

It made you sick to your stomach to think about it and you had to fight not to throw up right on the spot.

“Do I need to identify the body? Is he…?” you couldn’t even imagine what he would look like. All you could think about is the last time you saw him when he grabbed your arm, that same arm you unconsciously were gripping to as hard as he did.

“We can take care of that. You don’t have to see him like that.”

You simply nodded as vile rose to your throat, “there’s a lot… If you could… I need to be alone for a minute.”

“We understand. Call us if you need anything.”

They left the office and the first thing you did when the door was closed was hurl everything you had eaten earlier in the wastebasket.

Beads of sweat covered your forehead and chest when you came out of the office. Your boss dismissed you from work and instead of going home, you went straight to Shane’s room for answers. What he said earlier about forgiveness of all the things he’s done suddenly made a lot of sense. He wasn’t talking about three years ago, he was talking about what he had done last night.

When he opened the door, your cheeks were already covered in tears, as rage just fired through your body. You couldn’t voice anything other than a “how could you….” as you shoved him back several times with all the strength you could muster until his back was pressed against the wall.

You didn’t have to say much cause he was aware that you knew that he indeed had killed Clayton. He fucking knew that sooner or later you were going to find out.

“Lo siento, mi vida. De verdad que lo siento…” (I’m sorry, my life. I truly am sorry…)

He wasn’t in fact sorry at all, he was sorry that he hurt you, but he wasn’t carrying an ounce of guilt from killing your husband in cold blood.

“He had to go. I’m sorry. I couldn’t just let him hurt you again, you gotta know that.”

“No. You’re not putting this on me. You did that cause you’re a selfish piece of shit. I shouldn’t’ve…”

“C’mon, you practically begged me the other day. Why would you tell me that you kept dreaming of him dying if you didn’t want me to do something about it?”

“It’s called being vulnerable. You caught me at a bad time and took advantage of it. I’m sick of men like you and him making the rules as they go.”

“I didn’t make any rules. I did what I had to cause you didn’t have the guts to kick him out of your life.”

“I had a plan… I was going to… and you…” you kept losing the ability to put your thoughts together.

“Babe, I don’t care if you hate me for as long as I live but, I’m gonna sleep tonight like a baby knowing that that asshole won’t ever touch you again.”

“Is that easy for you, huh?”

“Don’t tell me you don’t feel just one bit relieved that you won’t have to see him ever again. Di la verdad.” (Tell the truth.)

You shook your head, and swallowed the hard pill of his words. He was partly right. As shocking as it was, you knew that after all this, you’d be glad he was gone.

“It doesn’t matter, Shane. What you did was evil.”

“I did it cause I love you.”

“No, you did it cause you wanted to.”

“I didn’t wanna, I swear. For the first time… I didn’t wanna do something like this, trust me.”

“Trust you? I don’t think you deserve that.”

“You should go home and rest…. Once this is over you’ll see more clearly that this had to happen.”

“See more clearly? You’re the one with tunnel vision, Shane. If you can admit that what you did was fucking wrong, then there’s nothing else to say here. We’re done.”

“I’m not saying it wasn’t wrong. I know it was. But the only thing that matters to me is that you and your baby are safe. And if they lock me up for it, so be it. I don't fucking care. I wasn't gonna sit down and watch him hurt you again.”

“I… I really don't know what you expect me to do with all this. You killed, not just someone… you killed my husband. How can you sit down and pretend that everything will be fine? How are you gonna live with that?”

“Wasn't really the first time. I told you there was a lot you didn't know about.”

“That doesn't make me feel any better. I said I wouldn't hold anything against you, but this is too much, Shane.”

“I know.”

“No matter what he did, he didn't deserve…” you started but immediately realized you didn't even believe your own thoughts. He did deserve to die. Just not like this, perhaps. “Is there any way this could be traced to you, to us?”

“No, I covered all my tracks.”

“Are you sure?”

“Do you want me to give you the rundown?”

“If someone finds out…”

“Nobody's gonna find out. I promise.”

“Tú y tus malditas promesas. Sigues siendo el mismo cabrón.” (You and your damn promises. You’re still the same bastard.)

“Hey, mírame y dime, en tu corazón de corazones ¿De veras crees eso?” (Look at me and tell me, in your heart of hearts, do you really believe that?)

You glanced at him, but you couldn't focus enough to tell or understand what you believed anymore. Your head sunk into your shoulders in defeat before taking a seat on the edge of the bed.

“Was he really selling drugs or did you plant them?”

“I didn't plant anything. I have no idea what he was up to. I just followed him with my car and made sure he went…”

“How did you know where he was?”

“You showed me where they were in that photo the other night. Their dumbasses even tagged the location.”

“Did anyone see you?”

“So you want the rundown after all.”

“Just wanna make sure… I don’t know anymore… I don’t know why I care at all,” you tiredly held your forehead on your palms.

“Look, the less you know the better. They won’t come after you. I’ll make sure of that… but to answer your question, no, nobody saw me. I used a different car, I scooped up the place the night before and just waited… I thought I’d have to do it when they were all asleep but, when he got into his truck I saw my chance.”

“Ya es suficiente.” (That’s enough.)

You promptly stood up as you were torn in different directions inside. Turning your back on him, your hand reached for the door handle. “You should leave town while you can. I won’t tell anyone… but I can’t see you anymore.”

“So this is it? This is how it ends?”

“I don’t know… I just can’t really look at you right now. You put my life upside down in two days, Shane.”

“I’m so sorry for that. I really am. But I hope one day you have it in your heart to forgive me… I… I won’t be going anywhere. If you need me, I’m just one call away, Corazón.”

You didn’t look back, didn’t even glance over your shoulder one last time to see him as you stepped out of the room.

Emotionally and physically exhausted you drove home as your brain switched on autopilot. The next few days were hazy and draining. As soon as the body was released for burial you got the funeral out of the way quickly. It didn't surprise you that it was ruled as an accident, with the levels of alcohol in his blood and the drugs in the truck didn’t leave room for questioning foul play. And the worst part of it all, and that Shane was right, you didn’t feel bad at all for his death.

Though Shane left the hotel you worked at, he stayed in town. You saw his car parked by the diner the day you returned to work.

He stayed away. More than once you thought he’d come up out of the blue and show up on your porch, and you’d be too weak to deal with him again. But He didn’t even dare to call or text again after that day.

It wasn’t until three or so weeks later, when you started feeling more like your old self, you began going through Clayton’s stuff. There wasn’t really anything you wanted to keep, so you threw most of it in the donation pile and called it a day. There was one thing though, that you couldn’t sort, and it was the storage cabinet he had padlocked in the garage. You went through every drawer and pocket to find a key to it, but there was no luck. Maybe it was lost in the mountains with him, you thought. Then, as much as you wanted to avoid that, you had no choice but to search the bag you were given with the personal belongings he had during the ‘accident’. There you found the key attached to his keychain.

At that point, nothing surprised you anymore when you opened the cabinet to find a backpack filled with prescription pills and other drugs you didn’t recognize. Along with it there was also some cash, a gun with a box of ammo, his work tools, a pair of utility boots, and a few magazines.

Perhaps that’s the excuse you needed to see Shane again, who fucking knows, but for whatever reason you picked up the phone and called him. Without going into detail about your findings, you asked him to come over to look at your car instead and he did. A couple of hours later, as the sun went down, he knocked on your door.

“I’m glad you called,” he said.

“Follow me,” you requested dryly, as you guided him into the garage. With the door shut down to the driveway, you opened the cabinet and showed him. “Can you get rid of this?”

“Is this yours?” He scanned the bag of stash. “Have you been hiding a side hustle?”

“No, asshole. It was his. I’ve just found it and I don’t know what to do with it. Do I call the police?”

“Don’t. Please don’t do that,” he pleaded. “I’ve been watching those two, you know his friends, and they were in it too.”

“How do you know?”

“Cause I know. Why do you think they were so quick to rule it as an accident? They turned him into his errand boy. He didn't just go out for ice, he was making a drop that night. Those fucking pictures they kept posting? Those are their alibis.”

Short of breath, you took a step back and leaned against the hood of your car. “I don’t wanna know any of it. Just tell me what to do and I’ll do it. I’m tired of all this, Shane… I want it to be over.”

“Sorry… I… yeah, I’ll get rid of it.”

“What about the gun?”

He picked it up and made a thorough inspection making sure that it wasn’t loaded.

“I’ll take care of it too.”

“Wait, if it’s registered, shouldn’t I just turn it over or something?”

“Ghost gun. Has no serial number, see?” He turned it around and pointed at the side to show there was indeed no number where it was supposed to. “In normal circumstances, you could say you just found it, but in this case… I wouldn’t do it.”

“Got it. Just do what you have to do. Get rid of the cash too, I need all of it gone.”

“Now, hold on, there's like 8 G's here. You should keep that.”

“It's drug money, I don't want it.”

“Yeah, but you could use it for something good. Buy something for you or the baby.”

“I don't need it, I was doing pretty good without his money. I won't be able to use it without thinking about where it came from. I never took yours, I'm not gonna take his now.”

“Think it's for a good cause. Like it or not, he was her father, you could open a savings account for her. Don't let it go to waste, sweetheart. You might need it someday.”

“I… Sure. I guess you're right.”

“I could get you a good price on that bag too. I'm thinking about 5-”

“No, I don't want you to risk it. Just get rid of it. Burn it, bury it, toss it somewhere far away from here.”

“Are you sure? The Dixons owe me one, I could get them to–”

“I'm not gonna bend on this one Shane. I mean it. Stay away from the Dixons. Don’t do anything stupid.”

“Alright, I’ll just get rid of it. But y’know I’m taking a huge risk getting this off your hands.”

“Oh.”

“So, are you sure you want me to? If they find me with this, I could get locked up again.”

“Ya empezamos… ¿Quieres algo a cambio?” You huffed, crossing your arms firmly over your belly. (Here we go… You want something in return?)

“No, I mean… I just wanna see you for a coffee sometime.”

“Told you, I don’t drink coffee.”

“It doesn't have to be coffee.”

“I’m too tired to do this again Shane. Do it or don’t. I don’t care. After you’ve put me through… no tienes derecho a pedir nada.” (You have no right to ask for anything.)

“Lo siento. Tenía que intentarlo. Can you blame me?” (I’m sorry. Had to try.)

“Yes, I can.”

“Okay, I set myself up for that one,” he huffed, and looked at the bag in his hand, and reiterated. “I’ll take care of this, don’t worry about it. No strings attached.”

“Thank you.” It took you a moment to say it, but you did. “So, you’re not leaving town. You’re not scared of being found out?”

“No, I’m not scared of being found out.”

“And what’s your plan now?”

“I meant what I saw the other day. I'm staying. I got a job at Jim’s. He’s letting me use the trailer behind the shop to save some money. And that’s my plan for now. Why? Thought you didn’t care.”

“I don’t give a fuck.”

“No? It seems like you awfully care a lot about what happens to me for someone who says doesn’t give a fuck.”

“I was just curious, Shane. You can just go, we don’t have to keep talking.”

“But I like talking to you.”

“I know you do. That’s the only thing you have over me. Every time you open your mouth… you’re just one step closer to…”

“What? Changing your mind?”

“It’s not a good thing.”

“As I see it, it’s the best thing.”

“Of course you do.”

“Okay, let me ask you just one more thing, and then I’ll go.”

“Okay, one.”

“If someone you loved was treated like you were–”

“Shane… don’t.”

“Lemme finish, please. If someone you loved was treated like you were, wouldn’t you do something about it? What if it was one of your friends? What if it was me… or what if an asshole in 20 years treated your daughter like that? Would you just stand by and do nothing?”

“That’s not a fair question. You’re playing on my emotions right now. Of course, I’d do something about it.“

“Then, why is it different? Would you kill for me if I was in danger?”

“That’s more than one question.”

“Would you?”

“I don’t know. I guess it depends on the situation. Once upon a time, if you had asked me that, I’d say yes, I’d have killed anyone for you.”

“¿Y ahora?” (And now?)

“No lo sé… I have something more pressing on my hands right now. I’m not alone anymore,” you glanced at your baby bump. “The difference between you and me is that I have to consider that what I do affects her.”

“Guess I should’ve thought that.”

“You should’ve.”

“We could still make it work. Maybe not now. But maybe someday when you can look at me again without seeing what I did. What do you think?”

“I think you’ve gone over the limit of questions you said you were going to ask, and my head is starting to hurt. But you know that I’ll never rule anything out between you and me. We’re both a lost cause. And if you really stay out of trouble and keep your word, who knows? Maybe one day I’ll change my mind.”

“That’s all I needed to hear, Corazón.”

Shane closed the backpack and slung it on his shoulder.

“Be careful with that.”

“Don't worry about me.”

His hand carefully slid on the side of your neck as Shane pressed his lips to your forehead. It lingered, once again making you feel as weak as the day you met him. It made you question whether to push him away or just give in to old habits. You've accepted that no matter what he did, you'd never be able to get rid of him.

You tentatively held his jaw between your palms, and stared at his lips for a beat before returning the kiss. It was soft and quick cause you didn't want to delve too fast and make it feel like a reward.

“I'll see you around,” you offered. That's the best you could do for now.

#shane walsh #shane walsh x reader #jon bernthal #jon bernthal smut #jon bernthal fanfiction #twd fanfiction #twd #the walking dead #fanfiction #smut #angst #pregnant reader #spanish reader #darlingwrites

[restinslices]

Everything

PJO Show Ares x Child!Reader (no gender specified)

Word count: 2459

Summary: Ares supposedly hates kids, so it’s really strange that he comes when you call. (Do not let the summary fool you, this is not fluff. Based on a dream I had a couple days ago. Warning for possible ooc Ares and brief mentions of abuse. Blink and you’ll miss it type shit)

“I don't wanna say”, Grover fingers fidgeted with each other as he purposefully avoided eye contact with you. 

“We're friends, right?”

“Of course!”

“Then you have to tell me! You spoke to my father, I gotta know what he said! What was he like? I bet he was really cool! Man, I wish I could've been there and talked to him”, you looked down at your shoes and added more misery to your face than was necessary. It was extremely childish and petty but Grover kept refusing to tell you what your father Ares was like. You had to know though. You doubted he brought you up, but you still wanted to know what he said and what he was like when he was just out and about. Grover had the opportunity to have a long talk with him and that was something you'd kill and suffer for. 

“I doubt you'd wanna do that” he mumbled, but you heard him. 

“Why'd you say that?” You asked. 

Grover refused to expound on what he meant… at first. 

Everyone knew Grover couldn't hold water so it didn't take too much prodding before he spilled his guts. 

The memory replayed in your head more than you'd like to admit, and if it were up to you, you'd no longer be a half blood. 

It made you feel pathetic. Tons of gods- no. All the gods were shitty parents. After all, they had children with mortals and left the children on Earth, knowing they'd be hunted down. Plenty of half bloods died in a gruesome painful way and at a young age. Plenty of gods never claimed their children, even if they made it to Camp Half Blood. But Ares did claim you, so you assumed that that meant he cared for you in some way. He even gifted you with a double sided sword. Surely, he must've loved you. 

You were foolish and you hated how foolish you were. You should've known he didn't care. He left you here with mortals and watched as your home life got worse and worse which was due to multiple factors including a piss poor mother and step family, the aura children of Ares give off that makes people around them experience rage and of course the random monster attacks that your family blamed you for. It was as if they thought you begged Ares to be his child. As if you'd ever do something as stupid as that. 

The rain soaked through your hood, making your hair all wet and gross. You were an idiot. You tried coming home for the school year, thinking maybe your family changed. They said they did. They tended to lie a lot though. You got into a huge fight and stormed out and you were in such a hurry that you completely forgot to grab your pouch full of drachmas and you didn't wanna step another foot in that house. So now here you were, outside with freezing cold hands that couldn't be warmed because your hoodie was soaking and you couldn't call Chiron. Perfect.

You checked your pockets once again, hoping to find something other than the lighter and fruit roll up that was there but alas, nothing magically appeared. You held the two objects in your hand and an idea formed in your mind. 

You could always set the fruit roll up on fire as an offering. You could pray to your father and hope he hears you and sends you something to help. 

No. That's incredibly stupid. Could you even light a fruit roll up on fire? It didn't matter. Not only was that the stupidest offering ever but you refused to pray to him. You'd rather sleep out in the rain then sneak inside when your family was gone to get your shit. 

You put the two objects in your pocket and let your head rest on your knees, exhaustion hitting. It wasn't even physical exhaustion. It was all mental and emotional. Like a leech was sucking on you constantly. Or a vampire. You'd prefer that. At least you'd die quicker. 

The hum of a motorcycle filled your ears, getting closer and closer. Best case scenario, it was a neighbor. Worst case scenario, it was a murderer. Honestly, you'd welcome both. 

The hum stopped and a familiar voice made you look up, “rough night”. 

It was him. Ares. God of war. Father to who knew how many. It was someone you definitely did not want to see… or so you thought. Part of you absolutely despised him now and everything to do with him and wanted to rip him apart. The other part of you though still felt an immense amount of joy when you saw him and you wanted to cling to him like a child clings to its favorite toy. If you were alone, you would've screamed. 

Then a thought crossed your mind. You didn't burn anything. You didn't make an offering. 

“You were going to” he said, seeming to read your mind. 

“Why are you here?” you managed to get out after some time of just staring at him. 

“Why do you think I'm here?” he asked and you could tell by his tone he meant it sarcastically. Like “the reason is so obvious. Stop being stupid”. 

Something about that sarcastic and irritated tone made you think back to what Grover told you. 

“Why don't you like me?” You asked and you hadn't meant to. It was supposed to stay in your head. 

He squinted his eyes at you and looked you up and down, “what?”. 

You could've let it go. You could've said nevermind, thanked him and let him help. You couldn't though. You didn't know when you'd have this chance again (the camp visited them but damn, there was a lot of you) and if you did something to make him not like you, you wanted to fix it. But that wasn't your job, right? Parents are supposed to care for their kids. 

You did that a lot. Your mind juggled opposite thoughts and it drove you insane. This was just the latest bit of juggling you'd been doing. 

“Grover said he spoke to you-”

“Who is Grover?”

“Percy's friend. The satyr”. A look of anger flashed in his eyes. You knew he remembered Percy. You didn't give him time to start yelling about the 12 year old that beat him in a fight. “Grover said that he spoke to you. I asked what it was like and he said that you said that you hate kids. Even your own. And when we visit, it's the worst day of the year. So, I was just wondering why you don't like me. Is it something I've done?”. 

Ares just rolled his eyes and sighed, “you're taking that personal?”. 

“It's kinda hard not to”. 

“I came to take you back to camp, not talk about whatever crisis you're having right now”. 

You didn't know if you were angry because of what he said, or because of his effect on others. Either way, blood started rushing to your head. “I'm not asking for a lot. I'm asking for an answer. A simple answer. Why don't you like me?”

“I don't like any of my kids”

“And that makes it better?” You asked in disbelief. Ares just stared at you, emotion void on his face. 

“Why do you do this? You keep having kids even though you hate them. Why?”. 

“It's not that simple and I don't have to explain anything to you”. You wished he'd show emotion. Any sliver of it. He was too calm, too numb. You'd prefer him yelling at you but nothing seemed to phase him. He was talking to you the same way you'd talk to a toddler. 

“It is incredibly simple. Just stop having sex with mortals. You already have Aphrodite -who is a married woman but whatever-” you rushed the last part. You didn't particularly care for the affairs between the gods. “How could your eyes possibly wander?”. 

Seeing him show a sliver of anger when you mentioned Aphrodite only filled you with more rage. That’s what angered him? That’s what got emotion out of him? “Really? That's what gets you? What about me being drenched?”

“You chose to come out here” he said through gritted teeth. If you knew Aphrodite was the key to him showing any piece of human emotion, you would've brought her up earlier. 

“I didn't choose this!” Your voice rose, “I didn't choose to be abandoned by my father and be stuck with a dysfunctional family for the rest of my life. You should be angry at that, not me mentioning Aphrodite. You should be enraged at the thought of anyone putting their hands on me and your hands should be covered in their blood! That is how it should be”. 

“Believe it or not the gods aren't too keen on the idea of killing mortals”

“But turning them into various objects and ruining their lives when it's a boring Tuesday is ok?”. His face went back to being blank and emotionless and your plan to stop talking was scrapped. You weren't even sure what you wanted. You wanted him to show something besides anger. Sadness? Regret maybe? Just something to show that maybe, just maybe, he cared deep down and regretted leaving you. 

“None of us asked for this. You all just decide to create and leave us. And you hating the people you created is… I don't know. And it's so stupid that I've spent years of my life trying to get you to be proud of me, only for it to be impossible!”. 

“I claimed you didn't I?” he defended himself, but you scoffed. 

“That's the bare minimum dad! That's like saying your kids should be grateful because you feed them!” You were full on screaming by now and you wouldn't have been surprised if a neighbor came out to see what the fuss was about. “I don't even know why I'm having this conversation with you. You probably hate being called 'dad’ and you don't care. You're never gonna get it”

“I try everyday to make you see me and you do everything in your power to not see me. To not see any of us. I would work myself to death for you. I would betray anyone close to me for you. If you asked me to burn down the world for you, I would. If you asked me to extinguish the sun, I'd find a way to because to me… to me you were everything. You are everything”. 

You couldn't tell if your face was wet from the rain, or from tears of sorrow and anger. It could've been both. Your eyes certainly stung and you hated it. You knew you had every right to be frustrated, but you hated how weak it made you feel. The children of Ares weren't supposed to cry. They were supposed to be headstrong and fight their enemies. They were supposed to be fierce warriors capable of bringing armies down to their knees. They were meant to shed blood, not tears. 

You thought for a second you saw an emotion cross his face. You couldn't pinpoint it though. It happened too fast and there was a good chance you were imagining things. 

“You can go. I'd rather sleep in the rain. I wouldn't wanna be even more of a burden” you spat with such venom you didn't know it was possible. Sure, you could have a bit of a temper but this felt different. It wasn't just anger or annoyance. There was a mix of grieving. 

It went silent for awhile, and the adrenaline you felt slowly went down. Reality started to sink in. You just yelled at a god. People who were known to cause destruction for something as small as “I think my shoes are better than yours”. 

“Are you gonna curse me? Or, I don't know, strangle me with my own shoe laces?”. Ares reached into his pocket and you looked away and closed your eyes. You expected to feel a burning sensation. That's what you assumed being cursed was like. A burning sensation and then you'd lose a limb or something. 

All you felt was something land on your lap. You looked down and saw a red pouch with gold string keeping it closed. You looked up at him, but he didn't say anything. You untied the string and opened the pouch and inside laid a pile of drachmas. 

Now he spoke, “call Chiron or whoever else works at that camp. Don't die out here”. 

“You're leaving?” You asked. You didn't know why you were disappointed. You should've been happy. After all, you just went off on him about how shit he was. 

“I have a busy schedule”. You wanted to ask if he'd be seeing the married woman he slept with or another unfortunate mortal, but you figured you pushed your luck enough today. 

“Thanks uhh…” you debated on calling him dad but instead you called him by his name. “Ares”. Then you remembered some gods could be particularly upset when you used their name. “God of war and all those other honorifics”. 

“Yeah” was all he said before he sped off, leaving you alone once again. You didn't know what he was saying “yeah” to but you didn't have enough time to ask and he probably wouldn't even answer. 

You called Chiron and asked to be brought back to camp but you didn't tell him about the conversation you had with Ares. 

You couldn't get the conversation out of your head, even after you showered and laid down to finally get some rest. 

Of course you kept thinking about the conversation and how lucky you were Ares didn't throw you into the street and run you over. 

Another thing stayed on your mind though. 

You didn't give an offering. You were told the gods would listen if you burned something that mattered, like the thickest piece of meat on your plate. You weren't sure they were actually listening and honestly you thought it was a real asshole condition. 

All you had was some stupid candy and you didn't even burn that and the minute you thought about it, he appeared like he was already watching. 

But you doubted he was watching. You doubted he listened to your prayers at all. 

You were one of his children which was something he hated. He'd claim you, possibly send a gift then be done with you. He didn't listen to you anymore. He didn't watch over you anymore. 

It was a coincidence. That's all it was. 

You were sure of it. 

At least, you tried to be. 

This is definitely ooc Ares but YA’LL KNOW I’M A LITTLE FUCKING SLOW! BE PATIENT WITH ME GOTDAMMIT😭 If you saw any errors, no you did not. I already proofread it once and I don’t feel like doing it again like I typically do. It’s 1am. I should be asleep.

#percy jackson #percy series #percy jackson ares #pjo tv show #ares pjo #pjo series #pjo angst #percy jackson angst #ares x child #ares x reader #ares angst #idk what else to tag #ares would’ve probably drove off but LISTEN-

[revluvzen]

[❤️‍🔥💪] "𝐇𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐡𝐚𝐝 𝐬𝐞𝐱?" [💪❤️‍🔥] PART 2

top!Lucas/Wong Yukhei x bottom!male reader

----

Genre: smut. -18 DNI.

WC: 1,4k

tags: car sex, semi public sex, Lucas looks like out of FraternityX, "bro" treatment, friends to lovers/fwb, first time / virgin reader, male reader, slight feminization ("pussy" used a few times), coming inside, anal, Lucas disobeys reader pleadings.

All individuals consent.

----

"So, you won't leave until you cum, you know that bro, right?", Lucas said, patting your ass. "W-Well, not gonna lie, I'm hard as fuck... Just, a tiny push and I'll cum", you said, grabbing your cock about to stroke, until Lucas stopped you. "That's what I was thinking of doing to you, some pushes", he smirked.

"Bro, you're gonna fuck my hole?", you said, surprised. Very in the deep, although, that was what you've been wishing for years. "Come on, don't fake it bro. You want it, I want it. I've read the male gspot is deep inside their boypuss- I mean, rectums", he said, goofily trying to convince you.

"... fine...", you agreed, lowering your pants just enough to let your butt out. "Get on all fours you slu- I mean, bro", Lucas said, hard again and so wishing to fuck you. You obeyed, and got on your knees on the backseats to then bend over gripping the cushions.

"Please don't be rough bro, also remember we're in college...", you said, worried and taking a big breath. Lucas smirked, "don't worry, it's not like the campus parking lot isn't like a love hotel anyways". "You're a pervert", you said, nervously.

Lucas, smiling goofily, looking so fckng handsome with those hard abs, tan skin and muscley arms that are now gripping your ass, started slapping the tip of his dick on your hole. "Don't be rough bro I beg you, it's my first time anyways...", you said, truly worried as you know how Lucas likes to fuck since he has told you about it in the past. "Shh, shh, stop being such a crying faggot, now deep breath...", he said, his remark shocking you and actually make you obey even more.

Lucas put just the tip of his huge dick inside of your hole. "S-Stop, that's good enough already", you moaned. "It's not even halfway in bro, I can't feel anything", he said, pushing a little bit further. "F-Fuck", you moaned, already sweating a bit. "Come on bro, you got this", Lucas said, pushing even further. "J-Just put it all in alread- FUCK", you groaned, as Lucas did just that the moment you pronounced those words.

"I'm gonna start fucking you know, okay?", he said, already thrusting in and out. "G-God, fuck", was all you could moan, while you felt your hole and guts being all stretched for Lucas huge dick. It was painful, but in the end: you're having what you wished forever. Lucas inside of you feel amazing. That intimacy you've been craving for is reaching its peak.

Lucas set a slow pace at first; but his thrusts were aggresive and on-spot. Your prostate already was being hit constantly, making your legs tremble and getting you addicted to that strange feeling in your lower abs. "You like that bro? Like this cock in your ass?", Lucas said, now thrusting a bit more quick. "Y-Yeah, fuck, b-but don't go that quick", you said, heavily breathing, still shocked by how huge that dick is impaling your hole. Nevertheless, Lucas didn't pay attention to what you said; instead, he started fucking you faster.

"L-Lucas, f-fuck", you said, moaning while you feel your hole being abused so good. "Such a slut for my dick, fuck, this pussy so tight", he said, in such sexy voice that it felt like candies to your ear. "W-What the hell are you say- FUCK", you said, when you got interrumpted by a really powerful thrust of Lucas. He kept quickening up the pace, making your prostate get more and more stimulated. That was already showing in your dick, that got really hard.

You saw some passerbies nearby. "B-Bro, they're gonna see, slow down the pace or something, f-fuck", you groaned, worried. Lucas didn't even reply; he kept fucking your hole relentlessly. You saw those passerbies far away doing shock and laughing faces. A car swinging side to side with the windows fogging could only mean one thing. "Fuck Lucas, they realis- A-AH~", you moaned, Lucas hitting your prostate so good your mind suddenly turned numb.

Your sweet spot was feeling so good a natural smile came up in your face, with a feeling that you are now craving more and more. "F-Fuck, bro, y-yes~ k-keep going" you said, thirsty for more and more dick. Lucas kept thrusting his huge and thick dick inside of you. "Yeah, take all this dick, come on, you a fucking slut bro, God, if I knew you were such a faggot I'd have ruined this tight hole of yours earlier", he groaned, bending over to kiss your neck while smacking your ass.

You naturally started to jerk off as you felt Lucas railing your hole frenziedly. It'd take you just some seconds to start coming. "B-Bro, I can't hold it in, f-fuck", you groaned. "You're gonna cum bro? Come on, do it, come to my fucking dick abusing you", Lucas moaned.

You stroked your dick faster but there was no need for that; Lucas furiously fucked your hole so good your sweet spot orgasmed, making your cock start milking cum all over Lucas' car windows and seat, while your moans turned high-pitched and your face showed such happiness and perversion. "I'm coming~", you moaned, your dick and hole feeling so good while your mind goes crazy, just focusing on how good you feel right now.

The long strands of thick milky fluid finished coming out of your penis; while your climax was still ongoing, Lucas voice interrupted you. "I'm gonna fucking come now, fuck, you're so fucking tight babe", Lucas said, treating you just like he treats all of those girls he usually enjoy to fuck. "A-Ah~", you kept moaning, feeling your hole getting so loose due to Lucas fucking you rough as fuck.

"I-I'm gonna breed you~, I'm gonna fucking breed you~", Lucas groaned. "W-Wait, a-ah~", you wanted to interrupt him. Coming inside wasn't what you guys agreed on to start with. But Lucas was so thirsty for your hole he did just that. "FUUUCK~", he said, with a powerful thrust, putting his seed all deep inside of you, so much cum you can feel your sweet spot wet and warm. "G-God~", you moaned breathily. "Oh~ Ohh~", Lucas groaned, thrusting very slow, as he dropped himself over you and started to make out with you.

After some minutes of making out with Lucas dick inside of you, he pulled out. He spreaded your buttchecks, "squirt it out, bro", he said. You hesitantly did so, his cum starting to flow out of your hole. "Fuck yeah, that pussy got bred as fuck", he smirked. "Bro, stop...", you said, annoyed. "Give me something to clean myself up", you told him. "Here", he said, bending over behind your ass and starting to lick his own cum out of your buttcrack. "Damn bro, fuck~", you wanted to protest, but his tongue in your hole felt so good. He grabbed you by your nape and pulled you in a kiss, sharing his cum mouth to mouth until you both swallowed.

You raised your pants and so did him. You both realised what just happened. The backseats and windows have cum in them; and the rest of the windows are all fogged up. "Bro I fucking told you to not be rough nor come inside", you told him, playfully. "I just couldn't hold myself in, sorry", he sighed. "It's okay... damn I hope we didn't get reported", you said, kinda worried. "Nah, it's okay. I already have two reports because of fucking in my car here. They don't do shit", Lucas said, reassuring you. "Bro..." you said, giggling at that fact.

Lucas stopped for a second, serious. "Hey, no one should know about this, okay?", he said. "You don't tell anyone neither...", you agreed. "Got it", he assured. "Well, it's not like some people didn't see...", you gave a second thought. "They were far away!! They didn't see shit!", he said, suddenly so worried you laughed back. "Right, right", you say, while you both go to the front seats.

"Let's do this more often, bro", Lucas told you, smiling and giving you a quick smooch". "...definitely", you said, winking to him. "I'll take you home now. Take it as an apology for the breeding thing", he said, smirking. "It's not like you want to stay at my place to play with my PlayStation tho...", you mentioned. "You got me in that one", he laughed.

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Please give me a like and repost if you enjoyed the fic!! ^^

#male reader smut #nct smut #kpop smut #male reader kpop #lucas nct #lucas wayv #male reader #wayv smut #wong yukhei smut #top lucas wong

[pretty-little-mind33]

FEM!READER WITH AN ABUSIVE/TOXIC EX (ft. aaron taylor johnson characters)

warnings: mentions of being in a toxic/emotionally and physically abusive relationship with someone, mentions of violence, sexual themes

includes - in said order

~ James Potter - harry potter marauder's era (yes ik it's technically a fancast but 🥺 he's my baby)

~ Tangerine - bullet train

~ Dave Lizewski - kick-ass

~ Count Alexei Vronksy - anna karenina 2012

~ Tom Ryder - the fall guy

~ @trollsareadorable hope you like this lovie! 🫶 ~

• James is very intuitive. It doesn't seem like he is, but he is. He's just a really caring person so he notices things that others don't.

• If you were friends first, he would have definitely already known that your ex was toxic/abusive and would have hated his guts. "You deserve better than him," or "he doesn't treat you like a gentleman should," type of conversations.

• If you weren't friends first and you were flirting after your break-up, he wouldn't initially think your shyness or your nerves were because anything bad had happened. Instead, he'd find it cute and would be super patient with you and be down to take things at your pace.

• James is a gentleman. His mom raised him right (Euphemia is a queen!) and so the idea of hurting a woman, especially one you're supposed to love, is unthinkable.

• So when you tell him about your ex, about his emotional/physical abuse, he'd be livid.

• James is extra careful with you after that, to the point where you have to tell him you're fine so he'll stop treating you like you're made of glass.

• When you run into your ex one night at a party, James notices you're acting strangely. "Love, are you alright? You look like you're gonna be sick," he'll say as he rubs small circles on your back.

• When you don't answer, he'll ask again. If you snap at him, he'll be hurt but he'll know something is wrong instantly.

• "You can tell me, dove. What has happened?"

• At the first sight of your tears, James's heart breaks and he ends up ushering you into a bathroom and soothingly caresses your cheeks with his thumb. When you tell him you saw your ex, it takes everything in him not to leave you and beat his sorry ass. He could—he has the build for it (okay Quidditch Captain 😵‍💫)

• Instead, he stays by your side and hugs you as you cry into his shirt.

• You're embarrassed for making a mess and crying like a baby but James isn't having it. "Don't be sorry, lovely. It's okay to have feelings and to show them," he'll reassure you. Maybe your ex didn't like when you cried so you tried to hide it from him but James knows you better.

• "C'mon, let's continue having some fun so you can forget about that bloody wanker," he'd kiss your forehead and take your hand, making sure you're next to him all evening. You've never felt happier and safer and your ex is completely forgotten.

• Tangerine has a temper. We all know this—and we all know he also has a potty mouth.

• Maybe you were coworkers first and he noticed how sensitive you were when he would raise his voice, or use some curse-words, but he starts to notice something is really wrong when you're visibly afraid to talk to guys at bars, even if it's just for fun.

• So, he would talk to you about it in private when he has the chance. "Hey, darlin', are ya okay? 'Cause you don't seem okay, y'know that guy at the bar wasn't tryin' to hurt ya, he just wanted to flirt. Did he make ya uncofmrotable," Tangerine's voice would be softer than usual.

• You open up to him, touched he cared enough to ask, and the moment he hears about your ex, he sees red. Tangerine is many things but he would never emotionally hurt or lay a hand on someone he loved ever.

• He looks at you with wide eyes, imagining your fearful expression at the hands of your ex, and his blood boils even more.

• He makes it his mission to help you feel safer around men—around him—and eventually, he falls in love with you and you fall in love with him. It takes you some time to fully trust him, but Tangerine eventually earns your trust because he shows you genuine love.

• He refrains from yelling around you and he doesn't use curse words that would remind you of the disgusting things your ex would call you. He adjusts.

• He's adaptable 😏🍊

• If you see your ex at the bar while you're refilling your drink one evening, you come back to Tangerine and you're friends and you're really quiet. More quiet than usual.

• In the beginning Tangerine is oblivious because he's joking with his friends. However, when you grasp his arm, watching your ex move across the room, he knows something is wrong. He sees where you're looking and turns you towards him gentle, one hand cupped under your chin.

• "Where'ya lookin', luv?" he'd ask and frown when he sees your glossy eyes.

• Tangerine hates when you cry—not because he's mad at you but instead because he hates knowing you're sad enough to cry. It makes him feel helpless, like he'd failed you.

• When you lean into him for comfort and tell him you saw your ex, he frowns and his eyes snap up to find your ex in the crowd. You tell him you're okay and you just want to go home, but Tangerine isn't having it.

• "That bastard hurt you. He doesn't get to get away with it," Tangerine hisses and kisses your forehead, "I'm just gonna go have a little chat with him."

• By little chat he means punching your ex so hard he breaks his nose—which leads to you, Tangerine, and your friends being kicked out of the bar.

• You're secretly very pleased to see your ex in pain and you feel all warm and fuzzy inside knowing Tangerine is willing to protect you like that. You aren't mad at him, especially when he cuddles you back at your shared apartment.

• Dave is shy just like you, so in the beginning of your relationship he doesn't take your shyness as something bad. He likes that you're nervous, because he's also nervous.

• However, he also picks up on cues that something is really wrong—like when you over apologize, or do anything in your power to please him when he's being snappy/in a bad mood.

• Alarm bells ring in Dave's head and he asks you why you feel the need to constantly apologize or make yourself small when you think he wants it.

• Because he could never want that.

• When you tell him, he doesn't know how to react. His blue eyes go wide and his mouth opens. He feels angry and sad and confused all in one overwhelming ball of emotion.

• Who would dare hurt someone as kind and lovely as you? Dave simply doesn't understand.

• "Baby, I'm so sorry that happened to you," he whispers and holds your hand, squeezing, "I promise you I will never ever do anything like that to you. Ever, you hear me? You don't have to walk on eggshells around me."

• If you saw your ex at a party?! Dave would know immediately because you would find him and tell him. You trust him more than anyone and would need him comfort instantly.

• "Shh, you're okay, baby. We can leave if you want, yeah?" he'd say and kiss your cheek, holding your closer to him and ignoring his friends wanting him to stay.

• You see, Dave doesn't confront your ex. Dave isn't a confrontational person. Plus, he'd much rather make sure you're okay than go fight someone. He doesn't want you to see him be violent because it's such a contrast to his usual sweet self.

• But Kick-Ass? Kick-Ass can teach your ex a lesson without any questions or hesitation (he'll def ask Mindy for help bc she'd also be livid that someone hurt you).

• So that's what happens.

• Alexei is a very composed person. He's doesn't often show his anger and he never screams at you. Perhaps you were friend's first and then eventually he asked you to marry him—and that's when he began to see the signs that someone had been very ungentlemanly with you.

• You flinch when you accidentally break his crockery and it makes your cry—apologizing more than necessary which to Alexei isn't normal.

• He's wealthy after all! He can easily afford a new set and something like this shouldn't cause you any distress.

• Then, he sees how you cling to him during social events and always reassures him that when you speak to other men, you have no intention of being unfaithful and they're just friends. You would sound desperate, your eyes pleading with him to understand.

• Alexei never imagined you would and he frowns. "Whatever makes you think I'd assume you would play with another man? I trust you, sweetheart," he would whisper in your ear that evening, kissing your cheek.

• When you finally tell him the cause of your distress—an ex-husband (maybe he died)—and you tell him how he'd treat you extremely poorly and was extremely jealous and possessive.

• Alexei is shocked and disgusted but he is also offended that you would think so low of him and think he'd treat you the same way.

• However, he doesn't become angry and instead sees you need comfort and he whispers soothing words into your ear. "My darling dove, I would never lay a hand on you or make you feel dirty and less than me because you have friends. I am secure in this marriage. I know you only have eyes for me—as I only have eyes for you."

• Steamy, gentle, passionate sex to remind you that you deserve to be praised and worshiped and as your husband it's his duty to do just that. 😛

• Tom is an asshole. His ego is through the roof, he's immature, he mostly thinks of himself, he can be stupid, and he can be inconsiderate and crude. All these things are very very true.

• However, he also craves genuine intimacy and love. He's insecure like that (probably wasn't hugged enough as a child) so he's immediately drawn to your kindness.

• Say you're on the crew of his new movie (a camera girl? Makeup artist? Low ranking actress) and you're visibly nervous around him both because he's Tom Ryder and simply because of his reputation as a player.

• Players make you uncomfortable.

• He sees this and in the beginning, he likes teasing you. He thinks it's funny seeing you become flustered and hide from him.

• He thinks it's funny until one of his jokes goes too far and he makes you cry. Now, it's anything but funny and he feels like an asshole. He's not used to feeling like he's an asshole (he usually thinks too highly of himself).

• So, reluctantly he decides to apologize to you.

• He finds you outside the bathrooms, eyes teary and puffy. "Listen, babe, I didn't mean to make you cry so hard, kay? You look much prettier without all that snot on your face so gimme a smile, huh?" he say, still sounding like a bit of a jerk—he can't help himself—but he's trying.

• You're vulnerable so you end up spilling with a shaky voice that his joke reminded you of something your ex would say and you ramble on and on, unable to calm your mind.

• Tom's speechless (for once) as he listens.

• He may be an asshole, but he isn't abusive towards anyone he truly cares for so he doesn't understand your ex. He's now mad at himself and he's also secretly honored you opened up to him.

• He isn't use to sincerity or someone truly revealing themselves to him. He likes the feeling.

• Over the next weeks, he's kinder to you and he writes you little sticky notes and leaves them in your trailer/locker/wherever your stuff is with weirdly endearing messages.

• It's kinda sweet and eventually you crack.

• Tom Ryder is a surprisingly decent boyfriend. Sure, he still has an ego and he's still sometimes a jerk—but it's obvious he genuinely cares for you.

• He's by your side whenever you can be, reassures you when you're insecure and nervous around him and he's gentle with you.

• He knows you need that.

• "My sweet girl," he whispers in your ear between takes, making you feel like the only girl in the world, "So good for me, aren't you? I love you so much."

• And if he ever sees your ex and you end up crying or upset because of the jack-ass, he'll get his security team to hurt him. Badly.

• And then he'll buy you whatever you want to make you feel better! He likes spoiling you and he obviously has the money to do so.

#james potter #james potter x reader #james potter x fem!reader #james 💋 #tangerine bullet train #tangerine x reader #tangerine x fem!reader #tangerine 🍊 #dave lizewski #dave lizewski x reader #dave lizewski x fem!reader #dave 💚 #count alexei vronsky #alexei vronsky #count alexei vronsky x reader #alexei vronsky x fem!reader #alexei vronsky x reader #vronsky 🩵 #count alexei vronsky x fem!reader #count vronsky x reader #count vronsky x fem!reader #tom ryder #tom ryder x reader #tom ryder x fem!reader #tom ryder 🎬 #aaron taylor johnson #aaron taylor johnson fic #aaron taylor johnson fanfiction

[drama-glob]

SPOILERS FOR HELLUVA BOSS SEASON 2 EPISODE 7!!!!

Let me start off by saying F*CK YOU MAMMON!!!! >:( >:( >:(

Okay now, I LOVED THIS EPISODE because as much at it broke my heart with how much of a gut punch it was that Fizz has been putting up with Mammon for years, the fact that he got his freedom at the end with the constant support of Blitz and Ozzie, who genuinely care about him melted my heart as well. ^_^

I knew going in I was going to hate Mammon (because with how he runs his ring, I couldn't see how he could have any redeeming qualities), but he seriously was a bigger abusive d*ck and was way more blatant about than I expected. >:( Poor Fizz right off the bat with his unhealthy work ethic that he's not good enough and that his value is tied into his work, something that many of us (me included) have been guilty of. I blame Cash for being the most likely factor in why Fizz thinks that way, along with his idol worship of Mammon playing into it. >:( Also, that creep getting in Fizz's head was so messed up because we come to see how genuinely nice Fizz is and he sadly let what that guy said get into his head. ;_;

I'm so glad that Ozzie from the start is looking out for Fizz's well being and mental health, which is also really sad because he has no doubt had this conversation many times with Fizz about not needing to please Mammon and that he is good enough, only for Fizz to insist everything's fine when it's not. ;_; I also had a feeling Ozzie wouldn't be a fan of the Robo Fizzes given that he loves Fizz so much and knows what people use them for, so most likely it's part of the whole blackmail deal/Ozzie can't break out of making them so long as Fizz doesn't call it quits. ;_; I'm also happy that Ozzie clearly harbors no ill-will towards Blitz (which we already saw in "Oops," but it's nice that he knows Blitz wouldn't like the state Fizz is in and needs to cut ties with Mammon). :)

Fizz is just so talented with his craft, but the further pressure that he had actual competition from Glitz and Glam just made things so much worse, but of course Mammon don't care. >:( One of the absolute best moments though had to be the sweet little deaf kid signing to Fizz and Fizz signing back as well as sign his picture, so it was sweet and it helped Fizz's mental state temporarily. It was unfortunate that flipping creep came back and messed with Fizz once again, only adding to Fizz's panic attack that goes into overdrive once he sees Glitz and Glam perform. ;_;

My sadness only built as Fizz spiraled and tried to make himself "fine," but my man Ozzie being there as soon as he hears (from Blitz no doubt) that Fizz is not okay and him not leaving until he can get to the bottom of way Fizz is so adamant about doing this while trying to comfort him was wonderful. I legit cried, as I'm sure many of you did, when poor Fizz admits that he feels like practically nothing next to Ozzie and that without his job and the fame, he'd eventually leave Fizz despite how many years they've known each other and how much Ozzie does to remind Fizz that he loves him for who he is. ;_; ;_; ;_; It's sad too that Fizz has put up with the year of abuse because he felt he owed Mammon for leading him Ozzie, even though that's certainly not true. It really brought it in home just how much trauma Fizz has suffered and affected his mental state. I can only imagine how bad it'd be if he really didn't have Ozzie in his life. O_O The sweet, honest words from Ozzie afterward just reinforced my belief that Ozzie is the best boyfriend and their song "Crooked" was so saturated with lovey-dovey sentiment, I went awwww so many times and shows how lucky they are to have each other. ^_^<3<3<3

Fizz's "2-Minutes Notice" was absolutely incredible, (especially considering this was improv ;) ) and the fact Mammon didn't realize it was about him until the end was hilarious! XD But Fizz certainly proved how amazing he is and I'm sure Ozzie was more than happy to provide the magical backup to really stick it to Mammon. ;) ^_^ <3 It was really cool getting to see full demon Mammon and Ozzie, but it was especially amazing that Ozzie announced he loved Fizz to everyone so that he could no longer be blackmailed by Mammon and so Fizz could be free of that asshole; plus, he already seemed tired of hiding it. ^_^<3<3<3 Although Mammon will definitely come back for revenge on this sweet couple, Fizz and Ozzie get to at least have their peace for now and will face the future of their relationship being outed to all of Hell together. Also, those giant nuzzles from Ozzie are everything to me! ^_^<3<3<3<3<3

#fizzarolli #helluva boss fizzarolli #helluva boss #vivziepop #mammon's magnificent musical #fizzmodeus #fizzarozzie #asmodeus #helluva boss asmodeus #helluva boss ozzie #ozzie #<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3 #blitzo #helluva boss blitz #blitz #helluva boss blitzo #mammon #helluva boss mammon #gifs #gif set #poor Fizz #spoilers #helluva boss spoilers #helluva boss season 2 episode 7 #2 minute notice #crooked #love song #I LOVE FIZZ AND OZZIE SOO MUCH!!! #Ozzie is certifiably the best ^_^ #^_^

[znitsamluv]

𝐈'𝐦 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐛𝐢𝐠𝐠𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐬𝐮𝐩𝐩𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐫 !

𝐁𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧 𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐀𝐭𝐡𝐥𝐞𝐭𝐞𝐬 𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐝𝐫𝐞𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐬𝐮𝐩𝐩𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞 . Pt.1

𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: 𝐢 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐟 𝐝𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧 𝐟𝐨𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐬𝐨 𝐢𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐚 𝐩𝐥𝐳 𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐥 𝐦𝐞 <3

Warnings : some swearing ig ?

•Mikey

° Mikey is usually busy with his business with Bonten and is hardly home but when he is there he makes sure he is giving his full attention to his family especially your son .

• It was dinner time and Mikey noticed you and s/n exchanging looks before you started talking.

° " s/n wanted to ask you something since last week but you were busy " the look you were giving Mikey made him immediately know that if he refused what was going to be said he will be in deep shit .

° " I have a big game tomorrow and I wanted you to be there to watch... But if you are busy I understand" Mikey's heart sank the moment he saw s/n eyes look slightly sad as if he was expecting a rejection, Mikey had an important meeting with Bonten tomorrow but he won't risk losing any more time away from his family.

° that's how Bonten ended having the meeting in the Stadium of the match 💀 They all wore normal clothes and caps but that didn't cover for the fact that they were literally talking about criminal business beside normal citizens .

° whenever s/n score Mikey would smile warmly and clap elegantly and then side eye his colleagues to see if they were cheering along with him .

° the proudest father ever .

° better believe s/n is getting hella presents the second the match is finished.

• Sanzu

° loud af in the competition hall .

° might even bring a banner with your daughter's name to show his support while your daughter is melting from embarrassment 😭

° would get hella side eyes from families beside him from his funky hair color and obnoxious behavior but they all don't have the guts to say anything.

° a mother complained about his inappropriate language and ' abuse of swear words in front of innocent souls ' so Sanzu had to be held back by you and was petty af that he started swearing louder 😭

° He heard a mother call your daughter a crazy bitch after your daughter rocked her son's shit in the taekwondo match, he excused himself to the bathroom and spotted them and immediately held his gun to them .

° " call my daughter a crazy bitch again and I will show you who she got her craziness from , if I saw you again better believe you will be six feet underground, .... Consider this a promise "

° once the competition ended he was the first to run to her and pick her up to spin her around while telling her how amazing she did .

° would rub it in Ran and Rindou faces the day after in the office telling them how badass his daughter is and brag about her for the rest of the day.

• Kakucho

° Kakucho has all of your son's timetable in his office so he doesn't miss any moment even if he was busy he will squeeze a 20 minute between the work to at least drop your son off to his training.

° He loves asking his son how training went everyday and even though Kakucho is tired and his eyes are red from overworking and lack of sleep he still sit and listen to s/n rambles about how tiring the training was and how a teammate of his was rude .

° he asks Mikey for a free day before your son's important match everytime and he is always the first one to arrive at the match hall .

° the other families really like you and your husband and how you both raised your son so expect lots of greetings when you both arrive .

° before the match starts Kakucho excuses himself and goes to your son to give him some encouraging words .

° " Hey buddy , no matter the result me and your mother are very proud of you, you trained hard and I believe you will do amazing, as long as you play fairly I know you will win . Now go and show everyone who is s/n Hitto "

° Kakucho usually stands in a corner the majority of the match where he has a better vision of the match going on , he is always on the run if s/n falls or get hurt .

° Once your son scored the final goal that sealed the match he claps and proudly says with his whole heart for everyone to hear " That's my son!"

• Koko

° Koko is usually busy so he tries to at least be included in any way so he buys your daughter any training clothes she likes or equipment that will help her better , no matter the price he is going to pay .

° since your daughter plays tennis she has a bad habit of breaking her racquet after losing so Koko has a whole room full of expensive racquets so she can replace the one she broke .

° " The moment you see the one you are playing against is crying from losing make sure to take a pic for me "

° Koko has a whole album on his phone of your daughter posing while her rivals are crying in the background.

° He once had to take the rest of Bonten with him because he couldn't miss your daughter's important competition but he also couldn't dump his work .

° Better believe the whole place was filled with cheers and screams of encouraging words just for your d/n ( Koko told them whoever cheers the loudest will get a money raise ) .

° D/n was going to play against a boy so as an elegant girl she is she wanted a handshake for good vibes yk before the match.

° but the boy gave her a smirk and looked her up and down before laughing.

° Koko was boiling with anger but remained calm and crossed his legs watching his prideful daughter do what he told her " don't leave him till his is crying"

° D/n didn't have mercy she literally dominated the whole match not even letting them score a single ball , to the point he started crying and begging for an early end of the match.

° taking out her phone she snapped a photo before sending it to Koko who was in the crowd clapping proudly.

° Let's just say D/n was the main talk in the building of Bonten and in meetings for the next few weeks .

#tokyo revengers #tokyo revengers headcanons #tokyo revengers imagines #tokyo revengers angst #bonten angst #bonten headcanons #bonten imagines #tokyo revengers x reader #tokyo revengers bonten #bonten x reader #bonten sanzu #bonten mikey #bonten fluff #bonten #mikey x reader #mikey headcanon #mikey fluff #mikey angst #mikey imagines #sano majiro x reader #sano mikey x reader #sanzu scenarios #sanzu x reader #sanzu haruchiyo #sanzu imagines #kakucho hitto #kakucho headcanons #kakucho x reader #koko hajime #kokonoi x reader

[xo-urban]

Can I request Arthur Morgan with male reader, who is a part of the O'Driscoll gang and secretly helps the Van Der Linde?

Long story short, male reader gives Arthur information on the O'Driscoll's plans and so on, the rest of Arthur's gang know reader and how much he's risking for them by meeting up with Arthur to warn him and stuff. Reader approached them himself some time ago, as he saw just how wrong the stuff his gang did was, earned their trust and proved to be a good man. They asked him several times to dirch the O'Driscolls and join them instead, as he was experiencing some truly vile, down right abusive, treatment from his father, Colm O'Driscoll, but he couldn't, as he was scared it would bring harm to Arthur and his family (the gang).

One night, when the Van Der Linde were supposed to meet him, he didn't show up. Arthur went to their usuall spot, next to a river, where he found a note from Colm, saying to meet him in a few days there, alone, with no backup. If he didn't show up or obligated by the terms, he would kill reader.

The rest is completely up to you, but please make it have a good ending! My heart can't take anymore angst stories with a bad ending TvT

To Be Astray

Pairing: Arthur Morgan x Male Reader

Summary: A family gone mad, you’ve found yourself leaving for a better life but nothing every comes that easy in an outlaw’s life.

Warnings: Typical in-game violence, neglect, abuse, torture (a bit mild in a way), homophobia (very little)

Word Count: 1734

A/N: I absolutely enjoyed writing this! Hopefully it doesn’t seem like word vomit on here and you actually enjoy reading it as much as I did writing! 🤍🤍

You’ve always stuck with your gut, whether it be running and fighting, drinking or gambling, or straying away from whom you once called family.

You’ve been running along with the O’Driscoll gang for quite a long time. You were born into the gang’s system, watch people come and go, innocent lives get taken by your hands.

“Steady boy!”

You were interrupted from your thoughts as your father, the infamous Colm O’Driscoll himself, tried to calm his horse down. It must’ve heard something and got spooked, oh that poor thing.

You couldn’t help but roll your eyes with a soft snort, continuing down a path with your father.

Colm talked and talked, new ‘promised’ futures, recruiting new members. Hell you have grown sick of him, you’d only gather information rather than follow them. You’d seen how cruel your father really is. Every time you fucked up a task, he’d beat you like a racing horse whose feet have been broken without a single person to care for it.

That’s till one night, at the mining camp in the harsh cold mountains. You were found by another gang, the Van Der Linde gang no less. You’ve always heard of the stories amongst fellow members, the rivalry between the two and the once unity they had as allies.

You were held to your will, treated like a prisoner until you went on missions with them to seek out your own gang, killing off your numbers and helping the enemy.

They warmed up to you no doubt, despite the history and the name you wore, you became an important essential to their gang. At first they offered you a place in their camp, a whole tent with food and water provided, but you knew you’d impose a great danger by staying.

So you reluctantly persuade them to let you go and promise to meet back every few days at a creek in the forest near their camp. You'd meet up with a member of the Van Der Linde gang to deposit a shit load of information about your father’s next moves, check up on one another before you returned back ‘home’.

“Alright, you can run off now. You know what you need to do” Your father spoke, earning a scoff from you as you turned the other way, hurrying off to the spot you were supposed to meet up at.

. . .

You tread through the vegetation, the oil lamp in your hand brightened the way. You were tired, but the information you promised was even better this time around after asking a bunch of loose-mouthed rookies.

You couldn’t help but smile, seeing your favorite cowboy come into view, his leaned fit body, the soft beard, those gentle eyes with his rugged face. You watched his lips curve and form into a smile, drawing you in.

“So glad to see you again hun.. been too long” Arthur sighed, wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you close as he kissed your face, his beard ticking you as he swayed your bodies side by side.

You and Arthur had gotten together after so long, all those long talks, risky touches, compliments had led you to where you are now.

“Missed you too darlin’, can’t help but stray away huh?” You sighed, laying your head against him as you felt his lips touch your head ever so carefully.

“That’s not my intent.. been running around, stealing and robbing. Makes me wonder how a bad man like me ends up with a man so perfect and sweet.” Arthur spoke quietly, his hand, rough and calloused yet so soft and gentle, ran through your hair.

You savour the moment as the two of you sway side to side in each other’s arms in the dark blue cover the night brings. You’d almost forget you were criminals with how soft the moment was, with the soft rustling of leaves, the cold breeze that grazed your back as you were held in the warm arms your boyfriend provided.

Though it lasted a few good minutes, you had to get down to business. You explained the next game plans of your father’s operations and which big moves he was considering to make. Arthur listened intently, watching you and nodding when you said something important to let you know he was still listening to you.

Soon after, it was time to head back, the moon shining brightly on it’s highest peak.

“I’ll see you in the following days Arthur..” You smiled, jumping onto your horse, walking your mare over to lean down and kiss Arthur sweetly on his lips, his hand caressing your cheek before you pulled away, turning to leave with the most lovestruck smile on your face.

To hell you went as frantic steps rushed off.

But you had assumed they were Arthur’s.

. . .

You had rode back to camp, a sour scowl on your face, glancing at the weird glances you had gotten. Did something happen when you were gone? You were confused till you were greeted by the angry look on your old man’s face.

“You were WORKING with the Van Der Linde gang behind my back? My own SON. My own son is a fucking traitor to this family!” Colm had shouted at you, stomping over angrily before grabbing the collar of your shit, tugging harshly.

“I can’t even fucking believe it. I should’ve left you with the wolves, but god dammit! You’ve failed me. You’re not my son. You were never a true O’Driscoll. The darnest disappointment I’ve ever seen. Sleeping with fucking men too!? You're gonna damn well pay with your blood, splattered on the ground in front of that boy..”

You watched as your father raised his hand, falling rapidly before you even had time to brace for it. The hard slap collided with your cheek before you were thrown at the dirt, your father’s shoe kicking dirt in your face and spitting at you, ordering the men watching to tie you up.

“You fucking bastard! I’ll have your head on a pole waving over the fucking country to see!”

You screamed as you felt the harsh burn of ropes press against your skin, crying out in pain before the butt of a rifle was smashed against your temple, knocking you out cold.

. . .

Arthur waited for you at your usual spot, eager to meet you, but it had been hours and he was growing restless. He walked a bit further up the river in hopes to find you, but a white note hung by a knife that was posted into a dark tree caught his eye.

He looked around before he approached, yanking the note off the tree as his eyes widened.

“Shit!” Arthur cursed aloud, whistling for his horse, quickly mounting it before snapping the reins, hastefully sprinting out there to get some extra guns brought along before he formally meets up with Colm O’Driscoll himself.

. . .

You could’ve sworn you were passed out for more than a day. Your father starved you and treated you as if you were a feral prisoner.

You’d been waiting for hours and you were starting to doubt that you’d make it out of this situation alive. You worried for Arthur to come quicker with each passing click of the clock.

When you were about to shut your eyes in defeat, the loud trampling of what you assumed, two or three horses approaching. Your eyes looked up, hoping. And there he was.

Arthur arrived with an angry face of hatred, followed by Sadie and Charles. You were sat down on your knees, as the small group of Van Der Linde members dismounted their horses, Sadie and Charles raising their guns at the O’Driscolls that had done the same. The tension was high and this was no doubt gonna end up in a blood bath.

Arthur didn’t even let the man speak once he opened his mouth, his hand grabbing the revolver out of its holster and emptied all of its bullets out at the O’Driscolls.

Your father ran back, turning to aim his gun at you before you watched Charles harshly shove him to the ground. That didn’t stop the shot from firing right into your thigh. You yelled in pain as the bounds on your arms were cut free, immediately helped up by a pair of strong hands.

“Hang on Darling, we’re getting you out of here!”

Arthur helped you up onto his horse, yanking on the reins as he held you to his chest as you hissed in pain.

“I know love, I know, we’ll get that fixed when we get back I swear, stay strong, I know you can”

You nodded, doing your best as you turn back to find Charles and Sadie riding behind you two, not too far behind.

Arthur held you protectively the whole way, not even taking his hand off you for a moment as he took you to Hosea’s tent, laying you gently down on the cot, his eyes softening at your state, holding your hand tightly as he exchanged little words with Hosea who immediately got to work.

“You’re safe. I ain’t gonna let any O’Driscoll ever hurt you again. I swear on my life”

Arthur kissed your knuckles softly, holding it close to his face.

“Rest easy love, you have no idea how miserable you look.”

“You callin’ me ugly?”

You snorted weakly, smiling as you felt your eyes become heavy.

“No.. never love..”

. . .

You’ve awoken to loud snoring right beside you, only smiling once you turned your head to find your boyfriend in a nice change of clothes, sleeping in a sitting position with his head on the cot.

You awed softly, running your hand through his hair gently, sitting up with the help of your good leg, meeting Arthur’s worried eyes.

You were about to speak before he cupped your face and kissed you deeply, letting you melt into him before he pulled away with little crystallizing tears in his eyes.

“You’re one goddamn miracle..”

Arthur sighed happily, resting his head against yours as he sat himself down on the bed, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you in close.

“And you’re my incurable romantic..”

You chuckled, letting your lips connect one more time, finally, together again without a worry about having to go back there.

You’ve learned to love being astray, finding the most perfect man to love in the end.

#fanfic #fanfiction #male reader #arthur morgan x male reader #arthur morgan x reader #rdr2 x reader #rdr2 fanfic #rdr2 #urban does not know wtf he’s doing #red dead redemption x reader

[tessiex17]

MY CHILDREN I HAVE PROVIDED YOU WITH ANOTHER RAYMAN FIC

You will be happy to hear that this is a 2 parter (second part is in development) since this is infact already 2,147 words WHICH IS KINDA LONG FOR ONE CHAPTER

This does have a fem reader BTW!!!

Short description: set when rayman is attending collage in America before he became famous and he gets invited to a party where he meets y/n

(Also if there are any mistakes/errors in my spelling PLZ let me know as written helps me improve with my dyslexia so any feedback will be amazing 😋)

Tw: alot of swearing, smoking and alcohol, abusive behaviour

"What am I doing?"

Rayman muttered to himself regretfully as he walked down the cold grid iron streets to the address the party was supposedly located. Rayman has always been a social creature, he loved the idea of meeting new people and going on adventures with them but that mindset had been slowly chipped away during his time in America. Specifically American school. He struggled to make social connections in his classes and was quickly deemed an outcast by his peers which was heart breaking for Rayman because he know it was only because he was alien, the people that liked to make fun of him made that fact pretty clear. It was something he couldn't change and even though he didn't choose to look the way he does or be where he's from he still got hate for it and he never really understood why.

Which is why he was shocked when he was invited to a house party by one of his class mates. He just knew he couldnt miss this opportunity to finally mend his social status and make a friend! Which leads him here. Walking towards the door of a house he's never been at before. He let's out a Sigh before raising his fist and firmly knocking the door. He knew he was at the right place, the sound of music and enthusiastic people could be heard quite clearly through the door (it made him almost feel bad for the neighbours).

Before rayman had the chance to knock once more the door swung open revealing the very drunk but very happy class mate that invited Rayman in the first place

"BROOO! You made it! I thought you where gonna be a no show"

The class mate ushered rayman in shutting the door behind him.

"Hehe what can I say, im a man of my word"

Rayman chuckled slightly nervous but intertained by how friendly his class mate was being. He finally takes a look around the house to see that this party was a lot bigger than he thought. There was at least 10 people in each room. Some where in groups chatting away to eachother, some where playing drinking games and others where dancing. A small smile started to grow on raymans face. Everyone seemed to be having fun so it shouldn't be so hard for him to join in right?

"If you wanting a drink feel free to grab whatever you want in the kitchen!"

The drunk class mate spoke a lil more slurred but still sounding enthusiastic. Rayman just gave him a smile and a small thanks before watching him stumble back to a group of people he must have been previously chatting with. 'Now what?' Rayman asked himself as he looked around anxiety curling in his gut like a snake. Does he just go up and chat to someone? He decides before doing anything he should take his coat off which he then hung up on the pegs by the door. He walks further into the house seeing people having fun. ' they make it look so easy' he thought to himself sullenly but a small creature in the corner of his vision distracts him from his thoughts.

"A cat!"

Rayman says aloud to himself before following the cute Calico cat into the kitchen. He doest pay much mind to the people as they seem to be talking amongst themselves. He crouches down In front of the cat petting it gently

"Arnt you just a sweetheart~"

He cous while scratching behind the cats ear. He spots a purple collar and a little silver name tag around the cats neck reaching for it to find out what the cats called. He flips the little silver tag and reads it

"Well hello kaya, aret you a cutie~"

Kaya looks at him Acknowledging he is speaking to her. She let's out a high pitch soft meow that makes rayman chuckle. He always loved animals.

"Of course your making friends with the animals considering you practically are one"

A voice filled with poison and Sadistic Humor spoke from behind him. He looked away from the cat and up to the owner of the voice. It was a guy in a very generic outfit and a blue hat.

"Excuse me?"

He spoke confuse hoping maybe the guy was meaning it as some sort of distasteful joke? Oh lord how he hoped.

"Who the fuck invited this thing to the party!"

Blue hat guy shouted loudly while pointing at rayman looking around the room as he did so. A few people began to giggle and rayman could feel all hope for having a fun night disappear.

"I'm not a 'thing' dipshit!"

Rayman retorted embarrassment making his face feel hot.

"Well what are you then huh?"

He leaned in close to raymans face. There was a short moment of silence before he continued

"Because all I can see is some sort of alien freak!"

The smell of alcohol was reaking from his breath. Rayman didn't like how close he was. How angry he was getting the more he talked. He opened his mouth to speak.

"I-"

"What the fuck is your problem!"

An angry feminine voice spoke causing both rayman and the drunk guy to turn and face her. She stormed towards the both of them before pushing the drunk guy away from rayman.

"You asshole!, what gives you the right to speak to anyone like that!"

Oh lord was this girl mad. Rayman looked up at her in disbelief as she shouted at the guy who was previously insulting him. Was she defending him? She stood tall in front of rayman making sure she was blocking him out of the drunk guys line of site.

"Hes a fucking freak just look at him!"

The drunk guy slurred his words trying to justify his point but the scowl on the girls face just grew deeper.

"Your fucking disgusting"

She spoke lowly to him

"Thinking you have the right to speak to somone like that, do you think your better than him because he's not from here or something?"

She asked with genuine confusion In her voice

"Is that why? Do you feel more entitled than him because he looks different from you?, because if that's the case then that sound pretty fucking racist if you ask me"

She quirks her brow as if asking a question. He stays silent but his anger is clear on his face

"Men like you disgust me"

She spoke her words laced with anger before she turned around and faced rayman. She jerked her head to the side indicating towards the door

"Let's go"

She said kindly to Rayman who looked up at her like she was some sort of godess that saved him. He nodded quickly before grabbing his jacket and following her outside.

"Well that was a shit show"

He muttered to himself while following after her. She made her way to the sidewalk before taking a seat on the edge of it. She looked over to rayman and patted the place next to her offering him to sit down which he does. The air is chillie enough to see your breath as a moment of silence fell apon them. She pulled a packet of cigarettes out her pocket before offering one to him which he decides to take.

"Thank you..."

Rayman spoke timidly.

"Not just for the cigarette obviously but for everything that went on in there"

That got a little giggle out of her. She brought the cigarette up to her lips taking a long inhale of it.

"It's okay, that guys was being a prick"

She faced rayman with a slightly sullen expression.

" I'm y/n, I don't think I got your name?"

"It's rayman... thank you y/n"

She chuckled again a small smile growing on her face.

"You've already thanked me"

She spoke sweetly

"besides I couldn't just stand and watch. That guy was being cruel for literally no reason"

"People stand and watch all the time"

Rayman spoke sadly but honestly his eyes avoiding hers

"Your the first person who hasn't..."

He looked back up at her to see her intently watching him. There was something behind her eyes he couldn't quite place. Anger?, sadness?, he wasn't sure but he just knew that the feelings weren't directed at him.

"Don't say that man, your gonna make me cry"

She joked half heartdly the sound of her voice wavering was clear.

"Oh nonono!, im so sorry!"

Rayman spoke in a panic

"I wasn't trying to upset you-"

"No no, don't worry!"

She placed a finger over his lips in order to get him to stop talking. He's silent. Pleading eyes staring up to gentle one's as she moves her hand away from his mouth.

"It just makes me upset that nobody was willing to help you before. Don't feel like you need to sensor yourself for my benefit"

She spoke softly to him. Rayman was starting to feel like he didn't have to be so much on edge now that it was just them two alone which was new for him. Usually he had to be more alert if hes gonna be by himself with somone. Even thought he didn't know y/n that much he still felt safer alone with her than back in the house. She took a deep drag from her cigarette and so did he.

They sat there together for a while. Talking and laughing between cigarettes and alcohol. Y/n decided to share a good few bottles of her own alcohol with rayman. It wasn't the nicest of drink but it was good enough and strong too. It didn't take long for the both of them to be intoxicated. They where sitting closer together now the alcohol making them loose the concept of personal space as they chatted.

"Hey this place blows, why don't we go back to my place?"

Y/n suggested as she took another swig out her bottle

"We have been sitting outside getting drunk ourselves, would be warmer at yours too"

Rayman spoke semi to himself as he pondered on the idea

"Kmonnnn~"

Y/n whined as she grabbed one of raymans shoulders and shook him playful chanting "My house! My house!" Over and over while laughing

"Okay okay!"

Rayman laughed placing his hand ontop of the one y/n placed on his shoulder in hopes it would get her to stop shacking him

"It is better than staying outside the party we kinda just walked out on"

He chuckled as he stood up reaching a hand out for y/n to help her up. She takes it as rayman pulls her up onto her feet. Y/n thanks him before giving herself a big stretch followed by a pleased groan

"Ahh~ Alright!, let's go!"

She glanced over the floor making sure she didn't leave anything behind before looking at rayman a smile spreading across her face.

"We're actually not that far from my house probably like a 10-15 minute walk roughly"

She tilts her head a little to see if raymans okay with that. He gives her a smile and a goofy thumbs up.

"All good, lead the way!"

He smiled enthusiastically. Y/n just laughs before turning around and walking down the street. She checks over her shoulder to see if rayman is following and motions with her hand for him to catch up. Rayman jogs up next to her before sticking to a walking pace. He doesn't know if it's the alcohol or not but he's having more fun tonight than he has in a while but whatever it is he doesn't want this good feeling to go away. Then suddenly y/n gasps

"Oh my god! I just released somthing"

Y/n spoke in a shocked voice

"What is it?"

Rayman look up to her worried as they walked.

"I can order McDonald's!"

Rayman playful hits her shoulder while chuckling

"You bitch, I though you where gonna say something serious"

"I am serious!"

They both laughed as they walked

"Somthing to eat does sound good though"

Rayman agreed and nodded with this idea they began cooking up

"I just want food"

Y/n whined as she walked down the street and before they knew it they where at her house.

"Home~ glorious home~"

Y/n sung aloud to herself while approaching the door making rayman chuckled in amusement. She reached into her pocket and pulled out her key sticking it into the door and opening it. She stood to the side of the door before doing a little bow while gesturing rayman to enter

"Ladies first?"

She teased as rayman walked by rolling his eyes but the smirk on his face was hard to hide. She chuckled at his lack of a reaction before closing the door behind them

End of chapter 1

So what did u guys thinkkkkk 😋😋

I gave the reader and rayman a silly lil dynamic bc I love bammy interactions I think it's so funny so I made them bams

If you have any feedback LMK and i wanna hear ur opinions of if it should stay platonic between rayman and the reader or should I make it more romantic 🤭

THANK U FOR READING IF U MADE IT THIS FAR XOXO

#rayman #captain laserhawk #clhabdr #rayman fandom #rayman fanfic #clh au #clh rayman #fan fiction #rayman x reader #x reader

[chaotic-orphan]

The Hero and the infant: part five

Read part one here

Continued from here

TW: vaguely suicidal Hero, mentions of past abuse, implied past abuse, manipulation

"Maybe you should have let him," said Hero, voice devoid of all emotion. The words hit Villain like a truck and left a heavy lump in their throat. This was exactly what they were scared of. Hero being so beat up about not being able to save the very person who was ordered to kill them. To kill both of them. Villain did the right thing putting the mongrel down, even if Hero was upset now. They won't be in the future; Villain would make sure of it.

*~*~*~*~*

“Hero,” Villain began, but Hero cut them off.

“You’ve seen me, I’m here. I’m alive. Will you stop terrorising these people now?” Hero asked tiredly.

“Depends, will you pick up your phone if I call?”

The corner of Hero’s lips twitched up. “Probably not.”

“Then no, we’re not done here, Hero.”

Hero sighed and let Villain go, sitting back on their legs and ran a hand through their hair, eyes on Villain’s face as if debating what they should do next. Hero let a breath out through their lips, then pushed themselves to their feet, leaving Villain on the ground, hands going to their pockets of their trench coat. Villain blinked and Hero was gone with a pop.

Villain pushed up on their hands, frantic brown eyes searching until they landed on their Hero standing on the opposite end of the roof, cupping their hands around their lighter and lighting another cigarette. For a while, Villain just watched them. Hero always savoured the first drag, their shoulders and expression visibly relaxing a little after it.

Villain couldn’t help but want to slap the cigarette out of their hand and hug Hero instead. The bitter jealousy of Hero’s comfort lying in nicotine and not Villain anymore hurt. They knew that they shouldn’t have killed the kid in front of Hero, but it was Hero or the kid, and Villain would never apologise for saving Hero’s life. The entire world could burn if it meant Villain kept Hero alive, even if they were still alive and hating Villain, it wouldn’t matter.

Though there was still that niggling guilt in their gut at being the cause for Hero’s distress. Again. All that concern and worry Villain hoped would leave them when they finally set eyes on Hero… didn’t. It lingered with a sickening confirmation of guilt. Hero wasn’t dealing well at all, and now Villain didn't even want to let Hero out of their sight. Not for a second.

“It's not your fault, Hero,” said Villain eventually, turning their body to face Hero. Hero turned their head to look at Villain, but they didn't say anything in reply. “Hero, it’s not—”

“My fault,” said Hero, exhaling a breath of smoke into the air, tapping the ashes out automatically. Villain watched as they floated down onto the ground. “It wasn’t that kid’s fault either. They weren’t the rabid dog; they were just another fucking kid who didn’t know what they were getting into with Superhero.”

“Then help me take Superhero down, Hero. You have as much of a reason to hate him as I do,” Villain said getting to their feet and walking over to Hero as they spoke. “He can't even show his face here because he's afraid of us together. He can't face his past and all the hurt he caused us. He has to send Sidekick after Sidekick—”

“Which you have no qualms killing,” Hero said, deadpan.

Villain's gaze grew sharp, cutting. "You're right, I don’t.”

Hero tilted their head at Villain, taking a long slow drag as they stared into Villain’s brown eyes. Their normal face.

“Remind me again what Superhero did to us after we failed a mission.”

Villain’s lips twitched down into a frown before quickly throwing their nonchalant mask on top of it to hide the fear that still lingered in their expressions at the mention of Superhero’s punishments.

“Darling, I’m not nearly drunk enough to recount those sordid tales.”

“And yet you’ll kill the kids he’s doing it to now.”

“Better to put them out of their misery,” Villain snapped, anger lacing their words. Hero blinked, surprised, before narrowing their eyes in accusation.

“You were never this cold, Villain… what happened to you?”

“You know damn well what happened, Hero. Not just to me,” Villain said taking a step closer to Hero. “To us. You know exactly why I'll go through anyone to get my revenge.”

“Even me?” Hero asked, cocking an eyebrow. Villain’s eyes softened and they smiled, stopping before Hero.

Villain shook their head with a soft smile, brushing a stray hair off Hero’s head fondly. “No. Not you, you know that. Besides, I know you’d never stand between me and my justice. This is between me and Superhero.”

Hero took another drag, and passed Villain the cigarette who took it thoughtfully.

“I won’t stand in your way, Villain,” Hero said while Villain took a slow, measured drag of the cigarette, “but I won’t stand by and watch you kill innocent people, and disturb the city to get to Superhero.”

“Then help me,” Villain said with a shrug, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. “You could cut through all the innocents getting dragged into this mess–”

“No,” Hero said flatly. “I have to deal with Superhero enough every day. I’m trying to bring him down from the inside, okay?”

Villain nodded, then looked over the city skyline before extinguishing the cigarette on the wall. “I respect that, Hero, but then you can’t ask me to stop trying to draw them out my way.”

“Villain he won’t come!” Hero exclaimed, throwing their hands up to the sky, a helpless gesture. “No matter how much you terrorise the city, he never comes! Like you said, he’s too cowardly!”

Villain shook their head with a scoff.

“You don’t understand, Hero.”

“Then make me,” Hero implored, grabbing Villain’s arm and turning them to face Hero. Hero cupped Villain’s face in their hands, trying to convey their sincerity. That stubborn streak knotted Villain’s face tight, but Hero didn’t really care. They just wanted an excuse to look at Villain… their Villain, with their real eyes.

Villain sighed, leaning into Hero’s touch. “It’s the only way to get his attention,” Villain whispered, covering Hero’s hand with their own.

“Superhero… is repulsive and vile, and he doesn’t deserve to be a hero! He didn’t even care that his precious new sidekick was almost killed, Hero. You saved them. Not Superhero! It was you who—”

Villain’s eyes widened; their normal brown blown wide as violet creeped into them. Hero frowned, pulling their hand back but Villain tightened their grip on it not letting Hero go as something like realisation dawned on Villain. Clever violet eyes shining as if the final puzzle piece clicked into place.

Hero felt two invisible hands grab at their elbows from behind and begin to pull their arms back. Hero frowned as their hands were dragged away from Villain’s cheeks. Their eyes narrowed in question.

“Villain, cut it out,” Hero said, pulling their arms forward but the invisible hands just tightened their resolve and yanked Hero’s arms back painfully behind them, pinning them to the small of their back. “Agh! Villain?!”

“It’s you,” Villain whispered. Hero stared up, eyebrows knitting together in confusion, a pit forming in their stomach at Villain’s words. “Maybe if you didn’t come then Superhero would be forced to show up. You’re a good scapegoat so Superhero can stay away, safe, while you do all the hard work.”

Something squeezed Hero’s broken fingers and Hero cried out, pain slicing through their hand up their wrist. “Villain, stop. Vill— AGH! fuck! Please!”

“I need you out of commission for just a little while, Hero… you won’t do such a thing willingly…”

Hero cried out as the pressure increased tenfold, as Villain turned away. “Villain! Stop! Stop, it’s too much…”

“Hush, Hero. If you would just give up willingly it wouldn’t have to be like this, would it? You force me to do these things.”

Hero’s knees hit the roof, the invisible hands releasing them entirely. Hero’s hands shot out to brace themselves instinctively, and they cried out as they took the weight on their bruised and broken fingers. A warm feeling crawled up their throat like nausea, and Hero had to screw their mouth shut to stop themselves from vomiting at the pain that shuddered through their body.

“Vil,” Hero said, pushing themselves up on their good hand to one knee blinking back the pain. They found Villain standing at the edge of the roof, looking down to the emergency services below. “Villain, don’t do anything stupid.”

Villain turned to look at Hero over their shoulder, violet eyes cold as they said: “I thought I told you to be quiet.”

Before Hero could say another word, they were picked up under their arms as if two knights were dragging a prisoner to a cell and held dangling from their hold, feet off the ground. “Vill—”

An invisible hand settled over Hero’s mouth, holding it down like a clamp, not allowing any room for Hero to even breathe through it. Hero huffed out a breath through their nose, and then screamed against silent lips as a crack split their hand and sent splintering pain through their arm all the way up to their shoulder. White hot pain flashed behind Hero’s eyes as they screamed silently against Villain’s hold on them, tears streaming down their face. Another finger, their pinky this time, and Hero couldn’t even scream to release the tension.

Hero struggled pathetically in the hold of the invisible guards holding them back, trying to calm their brain enough to be able to teleport away. To warn everyone that Villain had lost it and—

Another crack and Hero howled against their teeth; the sound smothered effectively but not completely as fresh tears streamed down their face. Hero screwed their eyes shut at the pain, trying to stop crying so snot wouldn’t clog their nose and they could continue breathing. They doubted Villian would care if Hero passed out right now, it would probably be their ideal outcome.

Hero stared at Villain’s back, begging them silently to turn around, to see sense and let them go. To see sense and snap out of whatever fucking idiot plan they had in their head.

Suddenly Villain’s head jerked to the side. Hero frowned. Then Villain fell backwards. Hero didn’t have time to question it as the invisible hold disappeared and suddenly they were falling to the ground too, careful not to catch themselves on their hands this time.

Hero bent their arm, catching themselves on their elbow as they dropped which sent the pain ricocheting down their arm anyways. Hero bit their lip, trying to smother the cry of pain but their body was exhausted, and they could only contain it to a small squeak of pain.

“Hero! Hey, Hero. Now would be a great time to get us out of here,” Sidekick whispered from behind Hero. A hand went under Hero’s arm and helped them sit up but there was nobody there. Nobody Hero could see anyways. Now Villain’s fall and Hero’s freedom made sense.

“I told you not to follow me,” Hero whispered back at Sidekick furiously. “Mmph fuck my hand… I— I can’t teleport us out of here.”

Villain was on their feet again, grinning with a split lip at Hero and Sidekick.

“That fucking kid,” Villain said with a surprised laugh. “Hero, they’re so bold. They remind me of you when we were in the academy.”

“Villain… please, just let them go,” Hero said, pushing themselves to their feet with their good hand. “Look, maybe you’re right and I’m a good scapegoat for Superhero to not deal with you directly, but that’s fine! It’s an easy fix, I won’t show up next time.”

Villain’s violet eyes narrowed on Hero, a secretive smile on their lips. “Darling, next time you most certainly won’t show up, but not of your own accord.”

Villain slammed their hand out. Hero flinched, but Villain’s power missed them completely. Villain’s grin widened and they tightened their fingers as if they held something in their grip.

“Gotcha,” Villain sing-songed. Hero’s eyes blew wide as they turned to face where Sidekick was but there wasn’t anything there.

Then Sidekick cried out and flickered in and out of view, half materialising in front of Hero. Hero bolted forward, but Villain held up a finger and said: “ah, ah, ah, Hero. I will kill another sidekick if you don’t do exactly as I say.”

“Villain!” Hero yelled outraged. “Let them go!”

“All that depends on your next move, Hero. You want to save the runt, yes?”

Sidekick cried out again and Hero moved forward on instinct but then stopped themselves glaring at Villain.

“Yes,” Hero bit out in reply.

Villain smiled. “Good. Come here, Hero.”

“Let them go first,” Hero bargained.

“I don’t think I will.”

“If you want me to do what I think you do, Villain, you’ll let them go. They can walk up to you with me.”

“I’m not falling for that again Hero, nice try though.”

Hero hesitated, mind reeling, searching for a way they could get Sidekick out of the deal altogether. Sidekick fully materialised screaming, writhing in pain. Hero cursed and threw their hands up jogging towards Villain.

“Okay! Okay! I’m here, Villain. Stop. STOP!”

Sidekick stopped screaming with a strangled gasp and dropped like an anvil once Villain let go of them to turn to face Hero. Hero swallowed, their eyes locked on the kid’s body and willing them to still be alive.

Come on kid, breathe. Please.

Sidekick’s back rose softly and fell. It felt like all tension left Hero’s body and left in them a numbness that follows overwhelming feelings. Their heart had yet to catch up to their eyes, still hammering hard against Hero’s ribcage threatening to break it. The breeze cooled the sweat on the back of Hero’s neck and they suddenly felt very clammy and cold.

“See?” Villain said, crossing the distance between themselves and Hero with a single step. They pinched Hero’s chin between their thumb and forefinger and turned Hero’s head to face Villain. “Alive and well, I’m nothing if not merciful, Hero.”

“You fucki—”

“Ah, ah, ah,” Villain tsked, raising their free hand towards Sidekick. The threat was clear, so Hero shut up, biting the inside of their cheek to stop themselves from calling Villain every name under the sun. Hero huffed out a breath through their nose and focused on Villain then, properly. Glaring into the two violet eyes regarding them with an air of superiority.

Villain stretched their hand and cupped Hero’s cheek instead. Hero brought a hand up to rest on Villain’s wrist, intending to pull it away and turn out of Villain’s touch but Villain’s lips quipped, and Hero stopped.

“Come on, Hero, don’t be a sore loser.”

“I could drop you from the Golden Gate Bridge right now, Villain. Don’t fucking tempt me.”

Villain’s smile grew into a knowing smirk. “You’re so cute when you make threats you can’t deliver on.”

Hero’s gaze drifted back to Sidekick who was pushing themselves up onto their hands and knees with a grunt, their entire body shaking with the effort.

“However, if the fancy does take you, know I’ll be bringing Sidekick right along with me for a nice swim.”

Hero’s nostrils flared. “I get it. Enough of the threats. Just tell me what you want me to do.”

Villain pouted, thumb sliding across Hero’s bottom lip and drawing it into a pout too. “You’re no fun, but fine. If you insist.”

Villain dropped their hand and turned towards Sidekick in one graceful movement, then prowled over to Sidekick who was only just getting to their feet. Their visage flickered in and out of view, trying to get their power to work but Villain grabbed their arm all the same. Sidekick’s power dampeners unclipped from their belt and floated to Villain’s awaiting hands.

“No,” Sidekick said, jabbing an elbow towards Villain but Villain caught it easily and yanked Sidekick’s arms behind their back until Sidekick cried out. The cuffs clicked over Sidekick’s wrists and they became fully visible again, still struggling against Villain. “You fucking—”

“Hush now, Sidekick. Your current state is far more favourable than Superhero’s last sidekick, isn’t it?” Villain purred, stepping around Sidekick and leaning in close, delighting in the way that Sidekick physically recoiled from them in disgust. “You’re lucky that Hero seems to be fond of you.”

“I only met them today,” Sidekick spat.

A hand was on Villain’s shoulder pushing them back away from Sidekick. Sidekick gasped and dropped to their knees, their entire body curling in on itself with the pain that rang through their bones; pushing against their skin. It felt like their bones were trying break free of their skin.

“Villain! Villain! That’s enough! Look, I’ll step back, just stop hurting them!” Hero said, putting their hands up again to show they meant for peace, but one look at Villain’s face told them they shouldn’t have intervened.

Villain’s face drained of all humour, violet eyes glinting with malice as they stepped towards Sidekick again, hand lacing through their hair and tightening to a white knuckled grip.

“Tell me what to do again, Hero,” Villain told them. The words suggested an invitation, but Villain’s tone was dangerously quiet, lethal and low. Their violet eyes almost glowing with the fury behind them.

Hero screwed their mouth up and bit out: “I’m sorry, just… I’m cooperating, Villain. Just let the kid—”

“Go?” Villain suggested. Hero’s eyes drifted to the kids and they swallowed hard before meeting Villain’s gaze again.

“Just… can you stop hurting them at least?”

Villain wrenched Sidekick’s head back in reply, exposing their throat. “Please Villain?”

“If you behave, Hero. How much Sidekick gets hurt is entirely up to you.”

Hero stepped closer, not able to help the frustration seeping into their voice as they said: “So just tell me what you want then!”

Villain pulled Sidekick’s head back further until Sidekick grunted with the strain.

“Hero, I would like you to teleport all three of us back to my humble abode.”

“Okay,” Hero said softly. They lifted both hands but Villain just clasped one, their grip tight.

“Ah-ah, I’ll hold Sidekick, Hero. Don’t worry, I won’t drop them when we’re halfway there.”

“Villain—” Hero grouched, but Villain tightened their grip and yanked Hero back so Hero was firmly on one side, and Sidekick on the other with Villain in between.

Villain’s eyelids fell over their eyes as they smiled their knowing smile at Hero. “I know you can teleport us like this, so don’t even try to tell me different. Remember Malachai?”

Hero clenched their jaw and huffed out a fine.

“I don’t need to say no funny business, right Hero?”

Hero didn’t dignify the threat with a response. Instead they sucked in a breath and then the roof disappeared from view with a ringing pop.

*~*~*~*~*

The Orphanage roll call (or tag-list, lmk if you want to be added or removed): @d-cs @somebodytolove31

#writblr #hero villain writing #hero villain snippet #hero villain story #hero #villain #writing #orphan writing #whump writing #orphan #sidekick Whump #sidekick Whumpee #hero whumpee #villain whumper #intelligent whumper #intelligent villain #sassy whumpee #sassy hero #hero whump #hero x villain #villain x hero #past Whump implied #the hero and the infant #tw broken bones #broken bones #tw pain #violence #hero and sidekick buddy cop duo #hero and villain #whumpblr

[myg-butterfly]

Goodnight (Love)

Jimin x Reader – Spy!Au

Hurt/Comfort, Angst/Fluff, Enemies(?)/Lovers(?), Non-Idol Au, One-Shot

Part 2

Summary: You and Jimin hold an unwavering grudge against each other, but for what reason? Or, when you and Jimin get partnered for a case together, emotions arise, and so do the stakes. Pride and vulnerability are an explosive pair; will you both set each other off into flames?

Warnings (Buckle up folks because there's a lot): THIS STORY CONTAINS THEMES OF HARASSMENT AND IMPLICATIONS OF S/A!!! DO NOT READ IF THOSE TOPICS ARE TOO HARSH FOR YOU!!! Angst, panic attacks, anxiety, descriptions of violence (like a single fight), sexual assault (no non-con sex happens i swear), misogyny if you squint, Jimin is an asshole at times, trauma, trauma flashbacks, horrible communication tbh, implied abuse, implied s/a

Disclaimers: I am in no way, shape, or form trying to romanticize these sensitive topics, I simply want to show that comfort can be found after said situations. Please do not leave any comments about glamorizing any of the topic.

A/N: Hello hi author here! I haven't thoroughly proof read this oopsies but we'll get there when we get there. There's a lot of time-skips in this btw, and I also just made shit up because I don't really have any clue as to what spies or agents do or whatever (lol)

Taglist: @screamertannie

main masterlist

∘⁺✧◞₊⋅✱

"This mission is risky, as it's heavily reliant on precision and strategy, so we'll have to be very careful with who we send."

"I have the perfect pair in mind."

∘⁺✧◞₊⋅✱

"You're fucking kidding me."

Jimin stares in disbelief at his bosses, Seokjin and Namjoon, not knowing why they thought it would be a good idea to partner you together.

"I don't care whatever personal vendetta y'all have against each other, you both are the most reliable option we have. So put your willy-nillies aside and get your head in the game."

Namjoon shoots Jin a disapproving glare at his choice of words.

"Please never say willy-nilly again."

∘⁺✧◞₊⋅✱

You never thought it was possible for so much tension to fit inside a singular car, yet you and Jimin seemed to be breaking that record currently:

"Listen, I want to get this done as soon as possible, so please just listen to me and do what I tell you and I can finally stay away from your annoying ass."

"As long as you listen to me as well, it'll be a smooth sail."

"And why do I have to listen to you?"

"We listen to each other, it's called teamwork; hence the fact that we're a team, and we work tog-"

"I know what teamwork is – I'm not stupid. But I specialize in retrieving information, so I think we both know who has sufficient knowledge to lead this case."

"One of the requirements to be recruited is being able to safely retrieve information, so technically even though I'm not centered in the encryption department, we still have the same level of expertise in the field of-"

"Do you ever shut the fuck up?"

"I do."

"Great well do that now."

"If it means you stop running your mouth as well then I will."

It isn't that Jimin hates you specifically, he just hates how stoic you are all of the time. No matter what case you had to take on, what was going on around you, your cold demeanor never faltered — and that pissed Jimin off.

I mean, who were you to be so stand-offish to all of your colleagues? Did you think you were better than everyone else? Is that why you never spoke up unless you were giving your 2 cents on the approach the organization should take on the case given. And it pissed him off even more how you were always right, how Namjoon and Jin always agreed with whatever you had to say.

Jimin didn't hate you specifically, but he hated your face and how nice it was to look at and your annoyingly smart brain and your voice that was so soothing to listen to.

∘⁺✧◞₊⋅✱

"Jimin, I'm telling you, having me go undercover isn't safe or efficient. The man who has the information we need is kno-"

"Are you admitting that you don't have the guts to complete this mission? What happened to commitment?"

Strategizing with Jimin felt like being a court trial where anything and everything you said would be used against you.

"I am committed. That's why I'm telling you that this isn't a good strategy."

"And why not? We've used it countless times before and it's worked, what's different now? All those men are the same, just play them to your will. Is that really so hard for you to do?"

"It's not good because it's not safe. Chances are that not only will I walk out of there severely injured, but you will too. And what happens then?"

"All I'm hearing is that you're too scared to do it. If that's the case, then why don't you just go home? I can even go ahead and call Jin hyung and tell him that you chickened out-"

"I am not chickening out."

"Then just trust my plan, princess. It's never failed me, and it's not going to start now."

"....... Fine. But don't call me that."

"No can do, princess."

∘⁺✧◞₊⋅✱

As you walk into the large fancy venue where the event was being held, the urge to run and hide became much more prominent.

You doubt that he remembers you, you were small when it happened, and now you'd grown.

That should bring some form of comfort, but it doesn't.

Because even if he doesn't recognize you, you would never be able to forget those months.

What he did changed you as a person forever, and for the worse as well.

You walk tentatively, saying hello to people you come across, until you find who you're looking for.

Upon seeing his face, it felt like a kick had just impacted your gut, like if you were dumped into a freezing lake with nothing on. Your mouth dried and the room began to spin, and you almost ran away, almost cowered back to safety, but you were stopped by-

"Dumbass, he's right there all by himself. Approach him, quick."

Hesitantly you started your way towards him.

"Jimin, turn my earpiece's mic sensitivity up."

"Why?"

"Please, I need you to be able to catch anything."

"Fine."

Seeing he was grabbing a glass of wine by himself, you took the opportunity to slide in next to him.

"Excuse me, sir? Do you happen to know what kind of wine this might be?"

"Cherry wine, madam. Would you like to try one?"

"Yes, please. Thank you."

"It's no problem. If you don't mind me asking, is someone accompanying you tonight?"

"Oh, no. I'm here by myself. I got invited by mutual friends."

"Ah, I see. So then, you wouldn't mind joining me tonight? I have a table right over there if you'd like to sit."

"I'd love to join you. Please, lead the way."

After some brief moments of small talk, Jimin gives you the okay to start trying to pull information out of him.

"This venue is so lovely, I wish I could see all of it in full." You started prying. "Well, actually, one of my closest partners runs the venue, if you'd like I could ask him if it's okay for me to give you a tour?"

"Would you really?"

"Of course, anything for such a delightful woman as yourself."

"Oh, you're too kind."

∘⁺✧◞₊⋅✱

The tour was going well as good as your given position allowed. You managed to ask about almost each room, giving Jimin any helpful information through your earpiece.

That was until you got to the third floor.

You were trying as hard as you could to push through being in his presence, when you'd been going up the stairs you stumbled for a second, and his hand reached out to "stabilize" you. You managed to regain your balance, still his wrinkled hand remained on the small of your back, a little lower than appropriate, and that was all it took to push you to the edge.

"Um, excuse me, do you mind if we pause for a short while so I can use the restroom?"

"That's totally okay. Do you want me to lead you to the one on this floor?"

"Oh, no. Thank you, I'll use the one from the previous floor. You can wait for me here. I won't be long."

Running down the stairs quickly, your head began to spin with fear.

All of the haunting memories you'd managed to drown out in the deepest parts of your brain resurfaced within a flash, and suddenly its like if you were back where you were less than two years ago.

Rough hands around your waist, liquor scented breath hitting your face, the cold air biting your exposed skin – you remembered it so vividly that you could almost feel it happening to you.

You could feel the harsh tone of voice, taunting you, painting you with shame.

'You should be thankful for all that I do for you. I'm the only person that can stand you after all.'

"Why the hell are you going to the bathroom? Don't stall, you idiot. We need to get this done."

"Right. Yeah. Right."

You stood up and walked towards the door, but you couldn't bring yourself to twist the doorknob. The thought of having to continue with him had your breathing quickening, and your vision shaking, it was all too much at once.

All Jimin could hear was your shallow breathing, and strangely, he found himself growing worried.

"Y/N? What's going on?"

"I can't- I can't do it-"

"What do you mean?"

"I- I need to get out of here."

"Y/N, what's wrong?"

"I can't be here, please Jimin."

Jimin burrowed his eyebrows in confusion, not understanding what caused you to get so worked up. He was even more confused when he felt himself progressively getting more concerned for your well-being.

"Where are you right now?"

“Um, a bathroom in floor 2."

"And you told the guy to stay in the third floor, right?"

"Yeah." You hear Jimin sigh, and you know he's upset with you, but your brain can't fully process that right now.

"I can't believe you're actually pussying out of this right now."

"Jimin, please."

The crack in your voice left an uncomfortable buzz in his chest, and Jimin found himself caving in.

"Okay, fine. I'll find a distraction for him so you can leave while he's busy. Only because we stil have tomorrow to do this and we've made progress."

"Thank you-"

"Don't, we still have to get this shit done tomorrow."

∘⁺✧◞₊⋅✱

You thought you'd be relieved as you finally got the chance to run out of the building, but guilt was heavy on your chest. The sound of Jimin's frustrated voice made you uneasy; you've never really been on his good side, but hearing him sound so disappointed in you drilled a hole into your pride.

He watches you as you open the car door and clumsily jump in, and Jimin can't stop his frown from deepening further when he sees your usually sparkly eyes tainted a light color of red, one that matches your nose and cheeks. You take his expression as one of disapproval, and you shrink in your seat, hoping that it'll swallow you whole. You were triggered as it is, an angry Jimin would not help you whatsoever.

Obviously, the only thing he could come up with was to scold you, because what else was he supposed to do? Wipe away your tears gently and destroy anything that would cause those tears to resurface? Yeah, of course not. Not that he wouldn't be willing to if you asked him, but he'll try to convince himself it's only because he's a good person. No ulterior motive.

"This better be a one time thing, eh? No one wants to work with someone unreliable, and leaving was one hell of a liability."

"I know."

"Then why did you do it?"

The words got stuck in your throat; you couldn't tell him that this guy had abused you for years on end of your adolesence. You refused to let anyone see that side of you.

"It wasn't safe, and it wasn't worth risking it."

"I didn't see any threats in the security cameras, and everything in your earpiece sounded fine. What was unsafe?"A tentative moment of silence passes before:

"Him."

You spoke so softly that you thought Jimin hadn't heard you, until you heard a sigh from him.

"We work with dangerous people all the time, there's no difference here, princess."

The name had clear condecendicy laced within it, and it made the sting in your eyes return quickly; it reminded you of him, and now the memories were fresh. You turned your face out the window, hoping that Jimin didn't catch sight of them.

But he did, and great. What else is he supposed do? to destroy himself then? Being harsh is supposed to be what keeps you from getting hurt by him, so why is that no matter what he does, the outcome is always rough?

The rest of the car ride was silent, the emptyness of nightfall very clear amongst the dark.

∘⁺✧◞₊⋅✱

"Will you stop moving so goddamn much? Some of us are trying to sleep here."

"Why are you referring to yourself with plurality? The only ones here are you and I, and your comment is directed at me so-"

"It's too late for your smartass."

"Well, it's currently 1 in the morning, so technically-"

"Less talking more sleeping."

"Okay."

You'd stopped moving, and Jimin was about to completely pass out, when the shuffling started again.

"Y/N I swear to god-" he groaned, annoyed that you interrupted his sleep again.

But when he looked over, you were sitting up on your bed, a pained expression covering your face.

Jimin sighed and sat up as well, mumbling under his breath about how 'it's always something with you'. Still he asked:

"What happened now?"

You hesitated to answer before responding.

"Did you do it on purpose?"

"Do what?"

"Send me in there, knowing who he is?”

"I genuinely don't have a clue of what you're talking about."

"I knew you hated me but I really didn't think you would go to such lengths."

"Stop speaking in riddles and just say whatever it is you want to say."

"Do you really not know about him?"

"Stop acting like you know better than I do just because you know about some rando that I've never heard of."

"I'm not trying to act like I know better, because I do know better. I know who we're up against, and I know that Seokjin and Namjoon would agree that sending me in there by myself is a shit decision."

"Why would they give us the case then if it's so dangerous, huh? Maybe you're just too much of a scaredy-cat to handle this case. Why don't you go and whine to our bosses that the task is 'too hard' if you're so set on them agreeing with you?"

Jimin's words felt like a stab straight through your heart, and all you could do was bleed out in silence.

"If I were them, I'd be real disappointed if someone I handpicked for a job as prestigious as this one called me and told me they didn't wanna do it because it's too hard."

The mention of disappointing your bosses made your stomach twist with anxiety. Just when you'd begun to learn to protect yourself, you're suddenly getting berated for it?

"Do you want me to complete this task or not?"

"Of course I fucking do. That's why I'm telling you that you need to suck it up."

"Degradation isn't going to motivate me, so you can stop trying to make me feel like shit. Are you happy? Because it sure is working."

"See? This is what I mean. For someone who acts so stoic all the time you sure are goddamn sensitive."

"Jimin, please. Drop it. I get it. You win."

"Stop whin- wait, what?"

You blinked at Jimin, before sighing and laying back down, shuffling around and throwing a blanket over your head.

For some reason, this made his heart twist in an uncomfortable way.

Jimin took a deep breath and told himself that it definitely wasn't because he felt like crying at seeing your defeated expression, he was just shocked that you didn't continue arguing with him.

Yeah. That's what it is. Totally what it is.

∘⁺✧◞₊⋅✱

Day 2 of the event begins, and your fear is drowned out enough to tolerate it by your desperation to get this over with.

"Okay, he's in there. Go. No chickening out this time, okay?"

"Yes. Whatever."

"Good."

You find him standing by the small bar they have across the venue, and you muster up any remaining strength inside yourself as you begin to approach the man who haunts your every move.

"What kind of wine are you honoring tonight?" You use the same conversation starter as last time, and the guy jumps; you caught him off-guard.

"Oh, my dear, it's you. I am so glad we meet again." His smirk grew, and if you didn't know any better, you would think that it's one of excitement rather than perversion.

"So am I."

"I was afraid you'd pulled a classic Cinderella on me after that first night, I thought I wouldn't see you again."

"Oh, I apologize for leaving so abruptly. Something I ate gave me a stomach bug, and I decided it'd be best to go rest before it could get worse. I'm just thankful it cleared up before the event ended."

"I am deeply grateful as well, I don't think I could've bared to not see you again. Say, why don't we actually complete our tour around the venue tonight."

"That would be lovely."

You had always hated how snobby rich people spoke, as if everything was fancy and business. The formalities and outdated vocabulary made you irrationally angry, and you weren't sure how much longer you were going to withstand this entire thing.

∘⁺✧◞₊⋅✱

Thankfully, you lasted a pretty good while. Everything seemed to be going as planned; you asked questions, he blabbered on and on about whatever you asked, he got more comfortable and started spilling more and more, and Jimin got more information.

“This floor is my favorite.” He says once you finish taking the flight of stairs you were just on.

“Oh, really? May I ask why?”

“My personal room is up here, it's supposed to be a guest room but since I spend my days here frequently, it's practically become my bedroom.”

“That sounds very comfortable. The people who own this place seem to show genuine hospitality.”

“They indeed do. And I was thinking, maybe I could follow in their steps, and extend that hospitality to you?”

“What does this said hospitality consist of?” You were skeptical, the glint in his eyes was evidently one that was ready to strike knives into your chest.

“Reconnection. Mending broken bonds. Making up for all our time lost.”

Your heart began beating rapid and panicked, afraid of what implications come with his statement. He seems to notice your expression fall, as he starts to laugh and even doubles over. Once he composes himself, he immediately makes his way towards you, the change in demeanor too quick to even respond.

"You really thought I wouldn't recognize you doll? Hmm?" He circles around you slowly.

It feels like you've fallen through a sink hole into the midst of hell hearing his words, it's suffocating, so much so that you're sure you won't make it out in one piece this time around.

"To be fair, you have changed a lot. You look much more mature, womanhood has treated you well." It takes everything in you to not break as he grabs your chin between his fingers, Jimin's voice playing on repeat in your head - 'no chickening out this time'.

You swallow and take a second to compose yourself, before speaking again.

"May we please continue our tour?"

"No need to hide from me, little one. I'd always told you, you'd come running back to me one day; and here you are. No need to be embarrassed about it, I'm more than happy to have you again."

∘⁺✧◞₊⋅✱

Jimin's blood runs cold when he hears what the man is saying; did you know him before? What history could you possibly have with this man?

"I'm n- not hiding. I just simply wish to continue looking around."

"Oh, trust me, dear. We'll have plenty of time to look around. But first, don't you wanna go somewhere private? So we can, reconnect?"

A shiver runs down your spine out of pure fear, and you're not sure if you can back down this time.

"Um, I don't know. I don't want to be gone for too long."

"No one will notice dear." He leans in closer to your face. "I know you want this just as much as I do."

His suggestive tone has you feeling sick to your stomach, and you pray to whoever sits above that Jimin realizes what's happening and comes to help you. You aren't sure what you had ever done to turn the universe against you, but you knew your prayers weren't heard when Jimin responds through your earpiece.

"Go. If you're worried about anything getting out of hand, I have this planned out. Just go."

You didn't know what plan Jimin had up his sleeve, but his annoyed expression on your face were imprinted in your mind, his words from the previous night still heavy: ‘If I were them, I'd be real disappointed if someone I handpicked for a job as prestigious as this one called me and told me they didn't wanna do it because it's too hard.’

"Okay, take me with you."

∘⁺✧◞₊⋅✱

He leads you to up another set of stairs, and into different hallways, before stopping in front of two big doors. You watch as he takes a key out of the inside pocket in his coat, and he opens the door, letting you step inside first and following after you. The room was spacious and slightly dark, the only light entering through the window from the lights outside.

"Ask him what part of the building you guys are in."

"This room is beautiful, what part of the building are we in?"

“It is quite luxurious, huh? This is the fifth floor. Main hallway, 3rd door. If you ever want to pay a visit, you're more than welcome to stop by.”

Jimin quickly jots down the room, and you hope he's satisfied, because you're shaken with fear at this man’s words. He locks the door from the inside, and proceeds to move toward you.

"He has a key, right?"

"Ah, yes." Pause. "I'll keep that in mind."

He smiles at you and grabs your wrist, walking towards the large bed in the middle of the room.

"Okay, get his key. Do whatever it takes, just get your hands on it."

He sits on the bed and grabs you by the hips, pulling you down with him.

"I can't believe I have you all for myself again. Even if its just tonight." You feel his fingers in your hair; the thought of shaving your head crosses your mind. If it means getting rid of any trace of him, you'd do it.

"Your features may be a little more grown, but you're still that innocent little sweetheart that I've always known."

His face seems so close; your body falls cold with fear.

"Tell me, how much have you missed me, sweetheart?"

He gets scoots even closer and cups your cheeks, running a thumb over your lips. He gets even closer, and all you can do is swallow and curse Jimin, because why isn't he doing anything to help you?

"I thought you would've learned to use your words by now." He chuckles, you wait for a hand across your cheek.

"Stupid little girl. Aren't you glad I'm so forgiving?"

He leans closer again, your foreheads touching at this point.

"I'll let you show me with your actions. Come on, show me."

Your breath hitches in dread, but he takes this a good sign. He kisses you and you do your best to "kiss" him back without actually doing any kissing. You tug on his coat, hoping he gets the message to take it off, and thankfully – you're not sure this is the right word – he does. As he shrugs it off, he keeps kissing you, and you take the chance to grab it from the inside, and flip it around so the key falls into your lap. You quickly put the key in your dress pockets and you toss the coat across the room in attempt to mask it as a move of interest.

He notices that his coat is gone, and it prompts him to begin trying to remove your corset. You realize that this is your chance to communicate with Jimin, though you're not sure if he can hear you if the silence from his side is anything to go by, while also prompting the man to get off of you.

"I've got it."

"You got the key?" So Jimin can hear you. You don't know if what fills your gut is relief or anger.

"Let me do it." He grips your hands and puts them aside, continuing to undo it himself.

"Yeah." You respond to Jimin. Pause. "I've got it, its fine. It'll be faster this way."

"Okay, we'll get him distracted now." Once again, you're torn between relief and anger.

"Don't you wanna take it slow? Enjoy our sweet time together?" His lips on your neck, and his hands getting lower and lower. You start to cry. Thankfully, he doesn't notice, because the intercom system im the building blares: "The auction is about to begin, 5 to auction." Hearing this, you take your chance to push him away, trying to get yourself back together.

"We should go, we wouldn't want to miss this." You move to get up, but he locks you within his arms.

"It's okay, you're the one thing I want."

"People will notice that we're missing."

"They won't. And if they do, let them. I'm more than glad to show you off."

He keeps on untying your corset, and panic starts to flow more prominently through your body as you realize that he isn't going to let this go easily.

"I really think we should go back. What if we miss something important?"

"Shhhh. Let this happen."

Another announcement blares through the intercom, but he doesn't even flinch this time.

"Auction is now beginning."

"Let's stop. I don't want to miss it."

He doesn't stop.

Doesn't even do a double take.

"If you want something from the auction, I'll get it for you. I'll even pay double the price. But I'm not letting anything take this away from me. I've been waiting to feel you for years. I'm not letting you go now."

You're on the border of cracking as he gets lower on the strings of your corset, not sure if you're gonna be able to get out of this unharmed. He moves to suck on your neck, and that's when you break.

"I don't, I don't want to."

"You're just nervous. I know you want this."

You shake your head, your whole body is visibly trembling now.

"I don't want to."

"Be good and stop talking."

He finally gets to the last string when his phone rings behind him.

He ignores it.

You pry him on.

"Are you not gonna take that?"

"Nothing is going to interrupt this."

"What if it's important?"

"What did I say? Be quiet. Why is it that now you're all chatter, but when I asked you earlier, not even a peep? It's like you want me to punish you."

A sob escapes you; where the fuck is Jimin?

He takes your corset off, leaving you almost bare.

"Such a pretty little thing."

All you can think is that 'This is it. This is it. What did I do to have to go through this again? Why is it tha-"

"I'm on my way up. I'll be there in a moment. I'm sorry I didn't come earlier. I'm coming."

You let out another sob at this.

∘⁺✧◞₊⋅✱

Jimin feels like his heart flew out from his chest because of how hard it was pounding.

He's desperate to get you out of there, and Jimin didn't know what to do.

His original plan to get the man distracted by random interruptions wasn't working, and he knew going up there on his own was risky, but listening to your situation made him sick.

He knew one of the guys on his usual team, Yeonjun, was monitoring the assignment, as they always have someone on standby in chances of emergency.

With his mind made up, he lets him know that he's gonna go in, but he isn't too fond of the idea.

"No, Yeonjun. You don't get it. I have to go up. He's- he's hurting her."

"You'll get caught. Especially if you and Y/N leave together."

"I have to go."

"Jimin-"

"Sorry, I have to get to her."

The line disconnects.

He was coming now.

Getting to you was the only thing that mattered in that moment.

∘⁺✧◞₊⋅✱

You can't bare to watch as the man takes his own shirt off, and you feel like you could throw up at any moment.

"I'm on the fifth floor. Toss the key under the door if you can."

At this, your only string of thought consisted of 'Jimin's here' 'Toss the key' 'Jimin's here' 'Toss the key'

You quickly reach into your pockets and let the key drop by your feet, and you kick it so it's by the door. An eternity of seconds pass by, your brain simply chanting 'Jimin, Jimin, Jimin'

Everything happens so quickly that you don't even have time to process what's happening before Jimin tackles the old man. He punches and pounds, and all you can do is watch in horror as both men begin to swing at each other. You have no clue what to do, but thankfully, Jimin manages to catch him off-guard and injects him with a tranquilizer.

It's strong enough to paralyze him on the ground, but simultaneously doesn't knock him unconscious.

You run to put your shirt on and rush to look for the flash drive that's meant to have all the information you're looking for. Despite your frantic state, you miraculously find it in a drawer, relieved and ready to show Jimin.

But when you turn around, he's still on top of the man, beating him like a crazed man.

"You. Fucking. Bastard. How. Dare. You. Touch. Her. I will fucking kill you." He says in between punches.

He kicks, stomps, punches, even pulls out his blade, and he doesn't stop until he feels you tug from behind him, hearing your attempts to hold back sobs from escaping you.

Even as you're trembling, you hold up the small flash drive in your hand.

Jimin stares in shock for a few seconds, confused as to how you still went to look for the files even with the state you're in.

He looks back at the man on the floor, bloodied and now unconscious.

You wouldn't be surprised if Jimin beat him to death.

A pause of silence engulfs both of you, before he interrupts it.

"Let's go. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Let's go. We'll talk later. Come on."

You moved to step towards the door, but you were filled with such panic that your legs were giving out on you.

He stepped towards you, but you recoiled.

He knew that this reaction was to be expected, but it still felt like a flame was burning his chest seeing you jump away from him, looking absolutely terrified.

You stumbled and wobbled, but you were insistent on walking on your own.

Jimin respected your boundaries, but when you almost tumbled down the stairs, he couldn't take it anymore.

“Do you want me to carry you back to the car? It'll get us out of here quicker, you're gonna hurt yourself .”

He saw your facial expressions change multiple times in that short moment before you stepped toward him and let him lift you off the ground. You were tense, any touch making your head spin but feeling how securely Jimin is holding you, you can't help but loosen up a tiny bit.

Feeling you shake in his grasp, it hit Jimin like a bag of bricks; you had been one of his victims. That's why you told him that it wasn't safe for you.

How could he have missed this?

You'd been brought back to hell after finally escaping it, and it was Jimin himself that dropped you right back into the gates of it. Maybe if he had listened to you when you said it wasn't a good idea, maybe you wouldn't be shutting down right in front of his own eyes, wouldn't be shaking uncontrollably, wouldn't be face to face with a monster you were to never see again.

∘⁺✧◞₊⋅✱

In the car, you can't stop clawing at yourself in the passenger seat, unsure of how to get rid of all the anger and anxiety in you.

Jimin kept peeking from your eyes and back to the road, and for some reason, this made you angry; not in a scream and throw things way, but in a sob angry tears with harsh breaths until you pass out way.

“What did it cost you to listen to me? Your pride? Is your pride worth the touch of that monstrosity?"

"I'm sorry."

∘⁺✧◞₊⋅✱

You get to the hotel and rip the dress off of you, wiping your lips and scrubbing your hands furiously, you pull your hair in desperation.

Everything feels so wrong and overbearing, it feels like its the end of the world.

Jimin feels like his world is crumbling at the same time that you are.

He goes to make you some tea, anything that will make you feel even the tiniest bit better. Seeing you in so much distress left only 2 things swirling around his head.

The first one being: He would, in fact, do anything to take back everything he's said, and to protect you from any harm that may come your way.

The second: He is so emotionally constipated.

Instead of letting himself understand and acknowledge what he feels for you, he put up a big fucking barrier, and now he’s responsible for your breaking point. Maybe if he could've been honest with himself, maybe if he had been gentler with you–

Well, there's no point in dwelling over it now, so instead he approaches you and removes your hands from your head to stop you from pulling your hair.

"Y/N? You're gonna hurt yourself."

"I don't care." You try to pull your hands away, but Jimin clasps them against his own.

"I made you some tea, it's in the nightstand by your bed. Go drink it while I put on a bath for you. And grab clothes once you're done."

You weren't sure what it was, anger? Gratefulness? Appreciation? Resentment? But something was coursing through your veins, and it all was clearly directed at Jimin. Feeling frustrated and confused, you broke down into sobs once more.

"We don't have to do anything, but I think getting washed up will help you feel better. Whatever you wanna do. Just, please don't cry, I don't like it when you cry.”

You look up and find Jimin crouching in front of you; his stare so soft that you think he might actually care. You can't help it – you launch yourself towards Jimin, neither of you are sure if it's an attempt at a hug or at knocking him down.

He wraps his arms around you and you begin to hit at his chest, your frustration and hurt showing themselves.

"Why didn't you listen to me?! I didn't want to tell you! You should've just listened to me! Then I wouldn't be hurt! It hurts, Jimin. It hurts, it hurts, it hurts."

You repeat that phrase over and over again until your breakdown begins to falter into hiccups, energy gone, and you melt into Jimin's embrace. The room is suddenly still, the only existing thing being you and Jimin on the floor, crying out hurt and apologies.

When he clutches so hard onto your shirt that his knuckles turn white, you know that he didn't mean to do it on purpose, that he's genuinely sorry for how things went down. And when you hug him back and shuffle closer to him, he knows you're willing to forgive him, you don't blame him for the decisions he made.

∘⁺✧◞₊⋅✱

Things feel fuzzy after that. Not necessarily in a bad way, there's just too much delicacy in the air for you to process things properly.

The cup of tea is warm in your hands as you wait for Jimin to finish filling up the bathtub.

After some quiet moments, he walks out of the bathroom and throws an apologetic smile your way.

"You're all set. I'll be out here, shout if you need anything."

"Okay."

You do think initially that a bath will help you relax, maybe get rid of some of the squeezing tension in your muscles, but it becomes clear that your mind won't be able to handle something as simple as undressing and getting into the tub.

Marks brokenly painted across your skin catching your stare, you needed to be forced out of it.

Even as you slowly climbed into the tub and sat down, the only thing running through your head was the image of your scarred form.

You cry out Jimin's name.

"Is everything okay?"

You beg the words to leave your tongue.

"Stay. Please."

Your voice is small and tired, and his heart jumps in a mix of adoration and pain, because you are ever so lovely, but you're hurt, and you're hurt because of him and his pride.

"Okay. I'll stay."

He takes a seat on the closed toilet, and you stare at him for a few seconds, trying to figure out how to ask for the support you need.

"I- can y- my hair."

Finally, it comes out strangled, but it comes.

"What about your hair?"

Jimin moves closer when you fuss a little at his question, splashing the water while doing so.

You rake your hands through your hair aggressively, and he thinks he understands what you're trying to say.

"Do you want me to help you wash it?"

Your face visibly softens – similarly to Jimin's heart – and you let out a little sound of confirmation.

"Okay, are you sure you're comfortable with that?"

"Mhm."

"Okay, pass me the bottle."

The warm water is soothing on your scalp and you feel yourself relaxing as soon as the shampoo touches your head.

“Sorry if I pull your hair.”

When you feel Jimin’s fingers raking across your hair, you start to cry again.

The way he gently rubs your hair makes you overwhelmed with a warm feeling that fills your chest at being handled so tenderly for the first time in so long.

"Love, why are you crying?"

If Jimin was already panicked at your tears, he’s utterly mortified now that the term of affection slipped out accidentally.

Thankfully, it seems like you're too caught up in enjoying the feeling to notice what he just called you.

“Thank you.”

His hand movements stopped for a second to think about his next words before resuming with a sigh.

"Don't thank me. I fucked up so bad. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean for any of this to happen. I should've just listened to you. I'm so sorry."

Jimin's voice cracked, and it looked like he was going to start crying too.

Once he was done, he went to grab a towel, and you stopped him by putting a hand on top of his.

"It's okay. I know you didn't mean it."

"I'm still really sorry. You shouldn't have gone through any of that."

You simply hummed as a response, and you both knew that it meant forgiveness.

The moment felt so soft, soft in the way you were looking at each other, soft like the butterflies in your stomach, it was all just really, really soft.

∘⁺✧◞₊⋅✱

That didn't last too long though, because sleep has never come easy to you, and the events of this day only worsened it.

Every time you closed your eyes, his sickening face would appear in front of you. You could almost feel the way he gripped onto your skin, bruising it.

You could feel yourself falling into a panic spiral again, and your brain's first instinct for whatever reason was 'where's Jimin?’

You sat up and saw him fast asleep on his bed, and you grew hesitant.

What if he gets mad that you woke him up? What if he laughs at you? He's gonna tell you to toughen up.

But then you think back to how he's acted ever since he went to get you.

That wasn't just temporary, right? Was it just pity? Was he only nice to relieve himself of any guilt?

Your overthinking mixed with your already panicked state, and you once again felt like things were crumbling all around you.

You showed Jimin your weakest parts, he can surely use that against you. He probably thinks you're even more pathetic now. He's gonna tell everyon-

"Y/N? What's going on?"

You were so deep in your thoughts that you didn't realize how loud your sobs had gotten, nor that they'd woken Jimin up.

You looked up in horror as you realized that he was sitting on your bed, watching you cry.

The concerned look in his eyes only made you cry harder. You wanted to fall into his comfort, wanted to believe that he genuinely cared about you, but at the same time you were convinced that he was just pretending.

"Don't act like you care."

“Huh?”

"I know you're only being nice to me out of pity, you can drop the act now."

Your words came out broken and between sobs. After you finished your sentence your breathing quickened again.

Jimin felt his heart being shredded into pieces as he saw your state. Did you really think that he hated you?

He could deal with that later, right now his main priority was getting your breathing regulated.

"Come here, we're gonna breathe together, okay? Can you do that for me?"

You were hesitant to approach him, but the offer of closeness was too inviting for you to turn down.

Jimin waited until you were seated directly in front of him before continuing.

"Hands on your belly. Now breathe in, and out."

It took a while before you were breathing again, but now Jimin could tackle the second issue at hand.

“What can I do to help you?”

Jimin sees the distrust on your face at his words and his chest squeezes sadly.

"I'm not doing this to get rid of guilt or anything like that, if that's what's running through your head."

“How do I- know that you're not just saying that to say it?"

Oh what Jimin wouldn't do to hand you the world.

"If I genuinely didn't care I wouldn't be here right now. You'd know if I was lying."

You think to yourself before giving into his offer with a small nod. Jimin smiles at your response.

“Do you need a distraction? Comfort? Water?”

“I think– I think comfort.”

"Okay. Do you want cuddles?"

Your brain short circuited, and Jimin took your silence as discomfort, so he rambled on.

"When I was younger, if I was ever scared of something, my mom would cuddle me and it always made me feel better. If you're not comfortable that's fine, I just think it would help."

You took a second to digest what Jimin had just asked you, never in a million years imagining you'd hear him asking you that, before nodding your head.

"Okay then, come here." Jimin laid down facing you and opened his arms expectantly, so you scooted closer to him and let him embrace you.

There's an inexplicable safety you felt surrounding him that had you melting into his hold. For the second time that day, his fingers gently played with your hair and you felt your walls come down a little further, warmth encasing both of you.

"You're so warm."

"Fuck do you think I am, a reptile? Of course l'm warm."

You scoffed at Jimin’s words, but stayed snuggled into him nonetheless.

"Are you uncomfortable?" You asked him.

"No. I'll let you in on a little secret of mine. I love cuddles. But only from specific people. But don't tell anyone.”

A soft giggle leaves your lips at his words, and Jimin decides that it's now his new favorite sound.

You pull back so you and Jimin are eye to eye; you want to speak but words are hard to convey.

“What's on your mind?” He's attentive, eyes searching yours for any hurt or worry.

“Do you cuddle with all your mission partners?” You try to lighten the mood and he laughs, so you assume it worked.

“No, only with the ones I like.”

His voice is soft when he says this, and it makes you melt a bit more.

“I really did think you hated me at one point.”

“I never did, I'm just very emotionally constipated. In all honesty I really do admire you, but I forced myself to see you as competition to avoid any of the weird emotional shit. Looks like it didn't work.” He finishes his sentence with a bitter chuckle; shame evident in his voice.

“I mean, I wasn't really all that nice to you either.” You try to easy his guilt.

“I wish we would've gotten off on the right foot.”

“Me too. But what's done is done.”

“I'm really sorry for not listening to you. I thought you were saying all of those things just to mess with me, but now I realize how stupid my logic sounds. Hearing what was happening over your microphone had me sick to my stomach. I can't even imagine how it must've felt for you.”

“It felt like my world was ending, honestly.” Your voice is quiet, but not enough to conceal how it cracks while tears pool in your eyes again.

“I never thought I would see him again. I'm still so scared, Jimin.” You begin to hiccup sobs, and he wastes no time in pulling you closer.

“It's okay. He's never coming near you again. I promise. You're safe, okay?” Jimin's voice was soft, feeling the way his chest vibrates against your head that's now tucked under it only helped calm you further.

You both remain like this until you've completely stopped crying and relaxed in his arms. Everything around you felt warm and tender, lulling you into deep sleep.

The last thing your brain manages to process is a soft kiss on your forehead, and words that sound a lot like:

“Goodnight, love.”

#park jimin #bts jimin #jimin #jimin au #jimin x reader #jimin fanfic #jimin fluff #spy au #enemies to lovers #bts #bts au #bts fluff #bts fic #jimin angst #bts comfort #bts fanfic #bts hurt/comfort #bts drabble #hurt/comfort #bts x y/n #park jimin angst #jimin bts #bts park jimin #jimin park #jiminbts

[callsigns-haze]

Pretty like a crime

Chapter 4

Pairing: Agent Jake 'Hangman' Seresin x Singlemom! Agent Y/n 'Cobra' Y/l/n

Word count: 2.3k

A/n: This is the fourth post to my new series so please be nice! I'm going to try to make this into a series so please show this story a bit of love and reblog!

Summary: Cobra is finally back on the agency and is finally back in the job. With Kai at home she has to jumble being a mother and a agent. She's sent to her first U.C mission but never thought that she would meet a blonde, green eyed Texan...

Warning: Mentions of gun use, ptsd, mentions of death, mentions of shooting, flirting, mentions of abuse, description of dead body, death, blood, undercover work, alcohol use.

Part 1/ Part 2/Part 3

"Come on, Justin, they're not THAT bad," you say as the two of you walk on the icy footpaths back home from the fancy, uniformed, private school the two of you attend together. As always on the way back, you always discuss the rude people in your classes and the backstabbing ones that one second are nice and the other they hate your guts and in the classes you attend that happened on a day to day basis.

"Did you see the way Paris stared you down once she saw that you earned full marks and not like her losing only six," he says, readjusting his bag strap as it slowly slipped off his shoulder. He was right, Paris hated your guts ever since the two of you started the first year, she saw you as a competition, a threat but you didn't care, not about her opinion anyway. "Come on, I'm not going to think about Paris anymore! It's Christmas break, and she's the last thing on my mind!" You exclaim as you rub your mitten covered hands together to cause some warming friction.

"Yeah, two weeks with my dad home," he groans. Justin and his father didn't share the best kind of relationship. His dad was always working abroad but wanted his two sons to be top notch, at school, sports and in life. In his father's words, 'he didn't want failures', which you thought was out of line. His dad and Tom were quite great friends, though he did see how sometimes Mr. Cadence was out of hand.

"You can always come over to my place, from time to time," you suggest to Justin, knowing that he'll show up at your window late at night anyway. He needed an escape from his family life, from reality and with you he had that. You never judged him or winced in disgust but understood him, listened to him and let him express himself. "You know I'll be there." "Yeah, I do. But my pop's or mam don't mind you around so you're welcome any time. Not only through my window."

You adjusted to Tom and Sarah, they were your true family. Your mother and father figure, a while back they adopted you and you became a Kazansky, you were part of the family and they were your parents. The people you need in your life and the support you'll always will need. They were your home. Your feeling of safety.

"I'll think about it, just give me time and we'll see each other. Even if it's on your roof." He says laughing as you two make it to your house gates. It was a big house, a milky white colour with old tangled vines wrapping up the edges' gripping onto the building. It wasn't a big walk from the gates to the door but I did have a quite wide driveway with a fountain in the central like some sort of roundabout. "Hey, when are your parents home?" Justin asks as you lean against the metal cool bars that prickle through your jacket. "Well since today was a half day so in around five to seven hours, why though?" You asks as the you push the gate open walking in and Justin is right on your heals.

"Well I have till the normal time we get home and since your parents aren't home how about we leave our things here and head to the pier." He suggests as you knock on the door and wait till one of the maids opens it. It was a good idea and it's not like Tom or Sarah would mind since ideally you should be at school. "Yeah let's do it."

---------

'Y/N, whenever you are ready, brush down your dress and adjust your shoe strap,' the commander's voice echoed through the earpiece. You and the whole dagger crew were currently on a night long undercover mission. For the big mission, you need an intel, someone who could lead you in, someone who could be the distraction in the operation for you to get through.

You make your way to the top of the stairs and slowly drag your feet along the red silky carpet. You make your way to a dim lighted corner and bend over to adjust your shoe and then smoothen out your dress. That's the signal for Jake, Bradley and Natasha to meet you upstairs in room 13. The four of you would make your way to the door but sadly the bodyguards there will have to let you pass. They're big and stubborn, not the kind of people you like to mess with but you need an intel and a cover-up so that's the only true reason for the group being here.

The three make their way up the stairs and meet you at the top. You all shared a light look of approval and you make your way to the guarded door, for your grand finale. Every time you have the cocky, slick, daring and mischievous kind of women act and each time it works but this time around it has to be so good that they let you pass, so good that they believe you. You walk up to the door and where about to open it like a normal room but they quickly block you and ask. "Who are you ma'am?" Now time for the act, your precious little act.

"First of all, how dare you be thick enough in the head to not know and on the other hand, try and grab my wrist again and my people behind me will blow your dick off in milliseconds," no hesitation came with that. You stood your ground and were not going to give in even though the man's, big bod and look that he gave you made you kind of want to cave in and hide but you couldn't. He looked you up and down and asked you one more question.

"Ma'am, why are you here?" This time more sternly, like a demand, that if you didn't answer it would be the end of you. Like the wrong answer would lead to a death sentence. And you don't even react, not on the outside at least. You just scoff. It leaves the three others behind you in quite a shock. Normal people would run away if they were in this situation but you just didn't care and stood your ground. "I'm here for a 'angels whiskey'." He looks at you one more time and opens the door. So easy to convince a man to your way of thinking if he doesn't know the consequences.

All four of you enter and the for closes behind you. There is two more bodyguards in the room bot on either side of the door, the only entrance and exit in the room. You were cornered but it was all part of the plan. You had to get out but just had to wait until it unfolded and you gain their trust. "Well, well , well, who have I got here."

And that's the man you needed. His tall, slim but muscular body leaned back in the black leather chair with his hand wrapped around a glass of whiskey. He had black hair and a rather distinguished set of cheekbones and nose. He had very dark brown eyes that would be slightly covered with his long hair if it wasn't for the jell slick back. His muscles lightly flexed through the white button up shirt with the top three buttons undone and the black, open widely suit jacket.

"What a beautiful scene I have standing right in front of me," he smirks in his chair, getting up slowly as he places the glass down. He walks over to his cabinet that has a dagger on top of it. He picks up the cool, metal carved blade and twirls it through his fingers. "Well my beauty never fails," you smirk back as you watch a black lose strand of his hair fall out of the back of his slick.

"And your beauty is simply a disguise of a devil and since you brought…protection, that means you brought me a problem," he says tilting the blade in your direction, swiping it through his fingers and looks for your response. "I'm not here as 'trouble', Tá mé anseo le haghaidh roinnt fuisce aingeal mo sean chompánach." (I'm here for some angel whiskey my old companion.)

He looks you up and down and then inspects Jake, Natasha and Bradley, each one by one, his gaze seconds later lays upon his guards as he orders. "Leave us and don't dare to listen, you well know what happened to Maxance when he couldn't keep information to himself."

"Is bagairt mhór é teacht anseo le daoine eile (It's a big threat to come here with other people), cobra." He had a point it is a threat and unsafe but they were part of the mission force and you trusted the daggers a lot. "Tá muinín agam astu.(I trust them)" You did trust every one of them, and they've never failed you in any kind of way. The daggers have come close to you over the weeks, but all that matters is if Justin will reveal information in front of them.

"Cibé rud a deir tú (Whatever you say), Cobra." The smirk never lost his face as he heard the lock on the bike and finally sighs like if someone had loosened a woman's corset in the past history. He looks at you and smiles. The smile of a life long companion is flashed and you smile back. "Venom, long time no see," you say, no act in your voice, just your pure, true self with no lie or no cover.

"Well Cobra, you did leave for the France, not show a sign of life and only pop back when you were in trouble, so it's hard to keep in touch with you," sarcasm filled the room after the words left Venom's mouth. It was a heavy silence while the eye contact between you and Justin never breaks and you've had enough of it all. "And again I need you."

"Cobra, I told you I'm not doing you anymore favours." It was right, he wasn't gonna anymore. Many times you've pushed him over the edge so expecting his forgiveness is impossible. "It's not a favour for me. It's for the mission force." Justin and you have known each other for many years now, his dad works, not in favour of the mission force. He just doesn't like the agency since they interfere with his business and somehow Justin for many years now has hidden his mission force identity from his father for many years.

"Y/-" "I know but please. Déan é don fhoireann agus ní mise le do thoil (Do it for the team and not me please)." The use of Irish in your conversation was a way the two of you have communicated for a very long time. A lot of people would wonder, why Irish? Why does that barely use language over another? But it all made sense, if you know the backstory. Justin's father drank a bit, alcohol's from all over the world especially, whiskey. The most common, ' the pure Irish whiskey'. Justin didn't have a good home but the smell and aroma from the alcoholic drinks were so familiar to him he could identify how it was brewed or kept. And ever since then Irish was the two of yours code.

"Okay what do you need?" He was agreeing but didn't know what. Even though he didn't say he had agreed, allowing you to continue was his kind of way of saying it. You look back at Jake and the rest and Jake gives you a reassuring nod. "I need an intel about so I can go and finish him for good."

"Now cobra, that's a big ask," he wanders to his whiskey cabinet. It's filled with many size bottles, many shades. Each a different flavor, a different story to tell. He takes out a small bottle and a glass. It's one of those tiny bottles that you can get in a hotel or airport, the ones that go down in a gulp. He quickly cracks the bottle open and puts the glass back as if it was useless and hands the bottle to you. "Drink." It was like an order that you've yet to follow.

"You know I don't drink," you haven't drank in years and this is not going to change it, you weren't going to mess with something that'll ruin you. "Ah, come on Cobra do it for a friend, you can trust me," he stares you down. He wasn't going to budge unless you drink it but you truly didn't want to but you had to.

You feel the bitter liquid flow down your throat as you let out groan. Whiskey always disgusted you, it just wasn't your style but this one was different. Such a salty, sweet sensation on your tongue as the remains swirled in your mouth.

"You know if I do you a favor, there's a big payment in return." It's true. You knew if you made this deal with Justin it would cost you, it was written in your eyes. I mean, this man won't give you any favor if he doesn't receive anything in regards but you had to do what you had to do. "And what do you do called wish for?"

"I wish for my father to be put down in a grave along with my stepmother hung till her death, and perhaps my brother in rehab and therapy from this shitty mess." He wasn't serious about this being the favor you owed him but those three things were his dreams. You knew they were, you've heard his plan millions of times in the past.

"I could do the first two and the third one I'm not so sure about." It was a joke but not really, you could do all those things in minutes if you truly wanted and everyone in the room knew that. "I'll help you to bring down . You'll get your identification papers tomorrow. Bring the blonde, green eyed, he'll go undercover with you but our deal papers will arrive once you're back…"

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#jake seresin #hangman x reader #hangman top gun #top gun hangman #jake hangman seresin #jake seresin imagine #jake seresin x reader #jake seresin x you #jake seresin x y/n #jake hangman fic #jake hangman x reader #jake hangman x you #jake hangman imagine #hangman imagine #hangman seresin #hangman fanfiction #hangman seresin x reader #hangman seresin x you #hangman x y/n #hangman x you

[alxandracabot]

Another day, another family. The wheels of justice never stopped nor did those working in the shadows to prevent the wheel from having the chance to break. Alexandra Cabot woke this morning with legal repercussions of the operation weighing heavy on her heart. When she first joined the network it took quite sometime to ignore the urge to push victims to speak with the authorities about the abuses thrust upon them. In fact, a time or two Alex had convinced a victim to step forward. The first time, the husband was thrown behind bars for an amazingly short amount of time, but just enough to move the family to a new location with new identities. It was that win which urged her to push another to speak out… that one ended with the woman's brains blown across bathroom tile. The guilt crushed until it didn't. One morning the blonde woke with a new sense of direction. Fuck the process! Years passed with hundreds of women and children moved to new identities without any resistance. Years of satisfaction moving people about in the shadows. Until now… until Jules.

The outcome was exactly as Alex feared. Justice had forced Jules into a car driving to her demise. There was no doubt who was behind the accident but no way to prove it. Yet, Alex couldn't bring herself to say 'I told you so'. Living on the line of the law was exhilarating until looking into the eyes of the one person who quite literally changed her life many times over. Guilt suddenly weighed heavy. Was she doing the right thing? Alex believed in the cause without hesitation, but perhaps she was losing her own sense of morals while doing so. Then again, the very reason for joining the operation was thrust into Alex's face after a show down in court.

The loss wasn't what pushed the former ADA into an existential crisis. Olivia Benson was.

Standing in downtown Tribeca the former ADA and now Lieutenant came to a standstill. A mutual respect for the others choices even though they believed the exact opposite. Alex would be remiss to not admit working along side of SVU had brought forth the very morals pushed aside for years, but she couldn't stop. She had to protect those the system could not. The most crushing part of the past week wasn't losing Jules or even having that little girl given back to the very man who killed her mother without hesitation. The most heartbreaking part was having to say goodbye to Olivia… again. This was their fate. Ships constantly passing in the night. Unspoken feelings had been festering for almost two decades. There was something to be said for a love that never faded or waivered in spite of the time and distance between. Of course, Alex wasn't an idiot. Or she thought she wasn't. Olivia's relationships were men rotating in and out of her life. Some of the men Alex respected and believed they could be good for Liv, but the others… well, she didn't have a right to voice any opinion on the matter.

As her arms wrapped Olivia in a crushing hug emotions welled in the back of Alex's throat. Saying goodbye shouldn't still be this hard. Those unrequited feelings sunk the blondes heart and twisted her gut in an unpleasant way. Until they didn't. Before she knew what was happening lips had descended upon hers - or maybe hers did the descending? Either way, a simple kiss which seemed to be mutual threw Alexandra Cabot completely off. This could not be happening. Not now. Not after all this time. Fingers quaked, heart hammered, lungs seized and eyes widened as a step back was taken. A step back that quickly turned into another before Alex took off across the street towards her vehicle. Farewells and warm wishes had already been given so no words were needed before the blonde took off.

The night brought little sleep. Alex's brain began to analyze almost every interaction she had with Olivia over the years. Searching for any sign of mutual adoration. Years as best friends had exposed their deepest darkest parts of themselves to the other but somehow this was missed. Or was it? Perhaps the emotions of the case had led to the kiss. Yes, that was it. It was the heightened emotions brought about from the intensity of the case along with working side by side once more. The subtle fliration over wine was normal for them. They had always skirted the lines of something more without actually stepping across. Why? Olivia wasn't interested. Friendly flirting often led to belly aching laughter or a small ego boost. Friendly flirting. Friends who happened to flirt. That was normal. Nevermind the fact Alex didn't dare skirt that line with any other friends because the interest to do so wasn't present.

In the midst of this all emotions had fogged Alex's routines. There was no circling random blocks on the way home to make sure no one was following, no double checking to see if anyone had been watching the interaction with Olivia, no bothering to park in the secured garage instead of the street. When Alex had arrived home after making a complete idiot of herself, the blonde was in such a fog the doorman said hello several times before attention had been caught. An apologetic smile had been given to the man before she walked straight to the elevator and pressed the button for her floor… something else never done. Even though Alex believed in what she was doing she was not ignorant to the dangers. Normally, the blonde would take the stairs up a few flights of stairs, a different flight each time, before getting on the elevator to ride the rest of the way up. Despite living in a building with the best security New York had to offer Alex had never got over constantly looking over her shoulder.

Sleep had eventually pulled Alex from the existential crisis to a fitful sleep. Nightmares of being shot and thrust into witness protection seemed to be on repeat until eventually Alex found herself waking with a gasp. Fingers quickly moved to her shoulder to make sure there was no blood seeping through silk pajamas. After her heart was done trying to hammer it's way out of her chest, a soft chuckle at how ridiculous the past week had been broke free. Two hours of sleep would have to be enough for now. Coffee was definitely going to be her savior today. Coffee and maybe a morning run in Central Park.

#YOU BETTER NOT WRITE THIS MUCH!!! I needed to get in Alex's head. This is more for me. I'll let you decide where they go from here. #╭──╯ … threads #｡･:*˚:✧｡ 001 ┊ verse name #｡･:*˚:✧｡ verse name #pcwerful

[thebearemoji]

My thoughts on the astarion romance (spoiler: they're not good)

Hoo boy going right from the wonderful bliss of karlach's romance to this.... dark mess of despair was a hell of a whiplash.

So I'm gonna assume if you clicked on that read more that you don't care about spoilers. If that's not true then dont read this. To be clear we're on the same page, astarion has two potential outcomes. You let him complete cazador's ritual and ascend to big boy vampire or you stop him from completing it.

The game made the choice to make a statement with the outcome of astarion's quest. If you don't break the cycle of abuse, then you're perpetuating it. Astarion after completing the ritual is much more cazador than himself. The romance takes this one step further, the only way to continue it if the ritual is completed is to willingly become astarion's spawn. The game implies in no uncertain terms that you will meet the same terrible fate he was so recently trapped in. Cazador's master tortured him. Cazador tortured astarion. One way or another Astarion will torture you.

He even has a line of dialogue after you reject him along the lines of "Of course I'm familiar with love. I would've tormented it out of you until you had nothing left if you'd let me." That's just the start. Just about every line to come out of a romanced evil astarion is stunningly toxic, he pretends to love you, threatens to leave you, all to get you to agree to become his spawn. You can even read his mind to find out he thinks you're degrading yourself by staying with him. It's stunningly dark, and part of me respects the writing for sticking so hard to their guns.

Speaking as a fan of roleplay focused games, this did take me off guard. I'm accustomed to games treating evil choices as options to explore your characters and develop a sense of gray morality. Because... it's a video game for fun and sometimes its fun to do silly pretend evil things and twirl my pretend evil mustache. But bg3 will occasionally treat evil choices as sins that the narrative will punish you for, sometimes immediately, sometimes later down the line. And astarion is undeniably one of these choices. A non romanced evil astarion is fine, i guess. but i know i'm not the only one out there who fell into the trap of thinking astarion could be the other half of my evil power couple.

I don't think this is necessarily inherently bad on its own. It severely reduces any desire I have to ever play an evil character again in this game, which sucks because I love minthara. HOWEVER

I got a bone to pick with the good boy astarion romance too.

So of course after the gut punch of evil astarion romance, I reloaded and made him the same good boy i did on my first play through. The subsequent romance scene is nice, and he gets the same beautiful heart-wrenching catharsis that made me sure he was the one I wanted to romance second in the first place.

But throughout all the later conversations, he keeps returning to this idea that he "seduced" my tav. ??? Where. From where I was standing, act 1 he propositions me for casual sex, my tav says yes. Afterwards he proposes continuing to have casual sex, my tav says yes.

And yet he keeps saying these words "I seduced you, manipulated you, used you." And the fact that he's admitting it is meant to show character growth.

But why is the game so determined to make my tav his victim??? Why are those my only two options? The dialogue choices didn't give me a way to say "you didn't manipulate me, I chose to be with you of my own free will, knowing what you are." There's nothing i can do to flip this narrative that my character was used and wronged, even though i dont believe she was. And that left the romance feeling very polarized, like there are only two lenses with which to view romancing astarion.

You are either his victim that he lies to for a grand majority of the game. he doesn't even like by his own admission, he claims he used you for protection. But he grows to appreciate all you did for him and even love you.

Or his helpless thrall, equal parts a victim but hell at least at that point you're embracing the kink of the whole thing.

Tbh, neither of those really do it for me.

In conclusion, astarion is an amazing character, I'm never romancing him again, and finally,

that is all

#bg3 #astarion #calling him acestarion from now on tbh #real talk if there were an explicitly asexual version of the romance i think that would fix it for me #but alas the game praised for countless polyamory options was too cowardly to include anything from the ace/aro spectrum #me long post

[polarisbibliotheque]

About the time a guy was being creepy to me on a professional setting and my gut feeling told me "GET OUT NOW"

Ok, so hi! This post has to do with a reblog recently here in my blog, on one of my fics regarding Dante and Vergil with an s/o suffering from being hit on without their consent. I write Devil May Cry fanfiction and that was my way of coping with a CREEP being, well, a creep.

Who would've known, fanfic is therapeutical

My answer got so big, I decided to make a separate post about it - and I'm talking like this because, if this gets out the DMC sphere and other people read it, they'll understand the fandom talk a little bit. This is not just for the fandom, but everyone out there.

Including men. All of us are prone to being targets of creeps - even if I'll be telling about my experience as a woman, take this advice to your heart NO MATTER your gender.

When this episode happened in my life, I was 27 y/o, I think...? I got pushed into such a stupid corner by this guy who kept messaging me with "work related" stuff... And my family wasn't validating my "this is weird" feeling.

So... What happened?

(TW: I mention the words "rape" and "sexual abuse" but none of that has happened. It was a red flag and I want to talk about avoiding it like the plague and how people might dismiss your gut feeling when something is wrong. I write with brutal honesty, curse words and don't censor anything, because I'm here to tell people how it is not curating content to go viral on clean ~family friendly~ social media. This is honest advice I'd give someone else, so it's just a heads up. I'm a little jaded with all the censoring of "forbidden words" when you have to discuss serious subjects like this nowadays hahahaha)

First context, I'm a Lawyer. Hi. I know it doesn't sound like it Second context, I'm from Latin America. Hi again!

Well, in my country, we have to vote every couple of years for the National Lawyer Association President and Vice-President (for my USA people, it's like the BAR association for Lawyers - meaning only lawyers who have passed the BAR and are, indeed, full-fledged to the association and with a lawyer permit can vote). I hate it, but it is what it is, I have to vote every time for one of those posh speaking clowns or else.

This much older guy stopped me at the entrance to the voting building to do some political propaganda of one of the candidates. Expected. They weren't the ones I was gonna vote 'cause their agenda didn't fit what I wanted for the Association - nevertheless, I smiled and was polite. Guy wouldn't shut up, but that's a lawyer thing. Kept being polite, dismissed him kindly and went inside to vote.

As I came back, guy is there and stops me. I had called my mom to give me a ride home - by that time, I had been broke and without a job for 2 years up until that point, trying to get back into the ~lawyer business~ and recover from a very bad burnout, so paying a ride back home was a big no. I had my phone on my hand and kept chatting because, you know, networking. You never know.

Now, mind you. I'm about to celebrate my 30th birthday this year, but people seriously think I'm underage wherever I go. I have to literally show them my credentials and ID so they can believe a single word I say. This guy, must've been around his 50s or something - and I look like a teen or, at best, 20 years old. I graduated when I was 22, so that's the most he could've imagined I was.

As we're talking, dude is flexing his career so hard I start to do the same. He says he has known the President and influential people in politics (back then, far-right government, so red flag already waving in the horizon), he has an office both here and in New York and Miami, he has worked with the FBI (we're in Latin America, the USA stuff is a flex for far-right people). I say I have worked as the Labor Lawyer in a huge worldwide known multinational company, coordinated with people in the USA and UK, had around 100 cases to manage monthly and keep the company in order when the directors were not around.

Guy is impressed and asks for my contact on LinkedIn. I'm down for it, I'm looking for a job and he could be one hell of a way to get back on business. Dude mentions he's in digital law and, heck, I wanted so bad to get into digital law! It was like he was put in my way by the angels to help me get back on my feet!

He asks for my resumé and my cellphone number, so he can have me in his office to have a cup of coffee. I am soaring by now. "That's it!!" I think "That's my ticket back to being a lawyer, to having my own money, to breaking the cycle of unemployment and having my career back!" - so I do it! I give him my number!

hello, workaholic aunt here speaking, my career was everything to me, I'd do everything for it

After I got back home, told my mom everything, and everyone was so happy. That's when he started sending me messages - asking for my address so he could send me some lawyer magazines and such... Even though he had asked when we were talking before and I changed the subject. I didn't give him of course, but instead sent him my resumé.

So, next day he asks me about that coffee and I said we can make it happen... Even if he got my name wrong. I have a pretty exotic name in whatever country I go, so it's a common mistake, known to happen, no one can pronounce my name right if I don't teach them how to, so yeah. I'm willing to gloss over that.

I'm assuming he read my resumé, saw how smart, capable and hardworking I am, and wants to talk business. Wants to offer me a job. I'm super ready. I'm taking my business clothes out of the closet, I'm cleaning my high heel black boots, I'm checking my references and vocabulary so I don't screw up. Guy sends a message saying he wants to take me out for lunch.

Red flag. My instincts flare up and I'm just staring at the screen. I start reviewing everything. I mean... Business lunches are ok, right? I had lunches with my manager and director plenty of times back in the day and it never got weird. So... Why was I feeling weird now...?

Guy says we can go out for lunch and then back at his office so he can show me around. I was like "hmmm... ok? shouldn't be weird. this is normal." but nevertheless I went to check with my mom and my sister.

Both said it was fine. I was feeling weird because it's a guy and me and I shouldn't be feeling uneasy - it's my social anxiety/workplace trauma talking. It's the opportunity of a lifetime. I shouldn't screw up.

I keep talking to him. I ask where we should meet up for this lunch and he tells me to give him my address, so he could pick me up and we can go to "a nice place to have lunch" (his words, not mine).

Red flags are dancing around my head. I keep thinking "have I lead him on something????" and going mad. What was I wearing? Only work clothes, that's all - suit pants, black high heel boots, dark silk shirt and only a nude lipstick so my lips wouldn't get chapped. My shirt didn't even show cleavage.

It's ridiculous how I feel this is a thing I should add 'cause heaven forbid the cleavage

What about what I've said? Did I accidentally flirt?? 'Cause that's been known to happen - I'm a clueless ace who can't for the life of me notice when people are flirting or not or notice when people think I'm flirting with them. And usually when they are not flirting or being attractive, that's when the magic happens for me! So... What gives?! Did I do something wrong, that sent the wrong message?

I mean, I was nice, yes. But you're supposed to be nice to people. I'm not gonna be rude just because most guys can't keep it in their pants.

I go over the messages. I didn't do anything strictly not business like. I'm very good at that. I have only worked responding to men as bosses in my life, had four male bosses before him, all different ages, marital status, star signs, backgrounds, lives. The best colleagues and co-workers I used to spend hours having coffee and laughing with were men. So I know how to keep professional and not mixing things up. It wasn't a slip up from my side.

Well, then there's always the chance I was going crazy and overreacting, soooo... I go over to my mom and sister. They think it's weird, yes, but they do think that's exactly what's going on: I'm overreacting and my social anxiety/workplace trauma is blocking me from pursuing this opportunity that can help my career - and make me have a salary again so I can help at home.

Ok. I though up and go back to talking to him. I tell him fine but I'll go to the place myself, so he can tell me where he's thinking about having lunch. Guy tells me nothing and keeps insisting I give him my address and he will give me a ride so we can "get to know each other better".

My GODS I've never felt so uncomfortable. Not even when I had to stay ONLY with my boss working until 1 am, only the two of us in the company building, every light out except the one in the room we were in, him being around 15 years older than me and very confident, with the two of us having one of the best work chemistry I had in my LIFE.

He could've done ANYTHING to me, but we only talked strictly work. We were tired, he waited for my mom to pick me up at 1 am outside so nothing bad would happen to me, both of us under an umbrella, he apologized to my mom for having me stay at work so late and then went back home to his wife and kid. I NEVER, at ANY moment felt unsafe around him. He was my mentor, he was my boss, he was a good colleague and even somewhat of a friend.

So why on EARTH was I feeling SO UNCOMFORTABLE with this guy I had only met ONCE face to face in my life?

I start to voice my concerns. My mom and my sister think I'm only saying that because I don't want to go back to work. That I want to throw my career away because I can't control my anxiety and my feelings. We fight a couple of times and a couple of days. My mom tells my aunt about it. My aunt goes full FBI and does a background check on this dude.

That's when she told my mom some things weren't adding up. His LinkedIn profile was a little too weird and he had no ties whatsoever with the elected President of the Lawyer Association - was he really someone in their team for propaganda? Nevertheless, he did have an office and did work with digital law, both here and in the USA. I shouldn't let this opportunity slip.

I got so mad. SO MAD. To the point my sister decided to ask her boyfriend for his opinion on all of it and he was like "hey... your sister is kinda right. guy wouldn't offer to take ME to a nice restaurant to have lunch and go to his office later for a coffee, would he...? I mean, this never happened to me" - and sis' boyfriend is on the business meetings and negotiations/selling part of the spectrum. He knows what he's talking about.

So now I finally have a man validating my concerns.

I take the decision to shut the whole thing down. I go "very well, I will NOT meet him, I will NOT maintain contact with him, he's treating me like a whore he picked up on the street". At this point, I am FUCKING FUMING. But still, my sister and mom gave him the benefit of the doubt and made me feel like I was doing something wrong.

So I decided to marinate him for a while.

I should note that all his messages were sent close or around midnight, not at working hours. And I only answered at working hours. Since I was taking a while to respond, my dude just goes like, and I kid you not, "ooooh she's not answering, she's ignoring me, I don't like that *sad emoji*" LIKE A FUCKING 13 YEAR OLD (no offense, 13 y/o peoples, but this dude is a FULL GROWN ASS MAN).

I am offended, I am flabbergasted and I wish I could suplex him to oblivion.

I show my mom the message. She just stares at me in awe. She FINALLY is like "yeah, ok, this isn't very professional". ALL THIS TIME, I never really told her what I was thinking and what was really worrying me. And then I break her the news that, what I'm really afraid of, is that this guy is going to rape me in his car. Or he's going to drive me somewhere I can't fight or scream and then he'll rape me. Whatever the scenario, it ended up with me being raped and I was scared. SO. FUCKING. SCARED.

My mom goes into Sphinx mode - that's when she doesn't answer and doesn't even look at me and just ~thinks~. It's a brutal reality she doesn't like and I don't like it either, I mean, it's my safety we're talking about here.

I shut down the guy completely. I tell him there's a family emergency and I couldn't continue to give him any attention nor I could go out for that lunch and I couldn't talk anymore. He SUDDENLY goes cold and "I am sorry if any of my messages seemed inconvenient. Do answer when you have the time so we can make an appointment." And that's it. No more messages. He's done in my book.

My mom tells my aunt. Aunt goes Sherlock Holmes mode this time and, lo and behold, they find an website of this guy's office. My mom is shocked at how 90's internet it looks for a guy who works with digital law. She then recognizes the address of the office but the doesn't remember of any office building in that street - so she Googles it.

His "office" is actually a residential building - meaning, it was his home address. She shows it to me and I want to cry - out of rage, shame, fear, sadness. I go like "yeah, this is the place he wanted me to go, to his home. What was he going to do to me there, huh?" - and I think the answer is pretty obvious.

Later, speaking to my sister, she's like "I dunno why you're so mad" and I'm like "WELL MISS I just got PICKED UP LIKE A WHORE outside of an OFFICIAL EVENT for the NATIONAL LAWYER ASSOCIATION while I was DRESSED UP PROFESSIONALLY and looking for PROFESSIONAL opportunities and I COULD HAVE BEEN RAPED. I think I have all the right in the FUCKING WORLD to be FUMING."

That's when we diverged some more. She just said like "hey that's how the world works: women are treated like whores - you weren't the first one to have this happen to you and you won't be the last. What are you gonna do about it? Get over it."

Oh. Boy. I looked at my sister's eyes. I saw her just staring at me weirdly. A storm was approaching. The skies darkened. Bury the Light started playing in the background. Vergil's doppelgänger was standing behind me like an angel of death. (All DMC references for my non-DMC peoples)

"Well. I wanna have power. So much fucking power in this world that no one ever even thinks about treating me like that again. So much power they will fear standing in front of me and saying those words - they will look into my eyes and shut up. So much power I will never be afraid to walk on my own again and I will never have to doubt my feelings when I'm feeling unsafe because some lowlife pitiful little shit decided I should be a whore to satisfy him. I want to have power so I will never be this helpless again."

Cue in my sister just sitting there with butter in the slice of bread in her hand, staring at me like "wtf man... do you need a hug...?" and me doing a dramatic exit back to my room to, well... Write the fanfic in question.

(For my DMC creatures: I never even thought of Vergil when I said all of this, I just noted that thought later in my diary and reading it a couple of days later I was like "omg I have become my worst enemy, fuck you Verge" because I kid you not, I used to hate this man with all the fibers of my being - hence where my longfic Nemesis came from. I realized I lived long enough to become my worst enemy - and maybe I hated him because Vergil made me look at the part of myself I didn't like and didn't want to admit existed *I'm laughing while writing this, I do find it weirdly amusing*)

DMC things aside, this WHOLE episode made me feel so frustrated. I never had anyone to validate me, only people doubting me or asking me if I lead him on, or what was I wearing, or if I smiled too much, if I was being too nice, if I said something inappropriate, and so on. I had to get it all off my chest and I thought maybe, juuuust maybe, Dante and Vergil would've been more supportive regarding that.

Because, you know, they know trauma and they are protective as fuck. They can have all the red flags and mental issues in this world, but I don't think they would EVER dismiss their partner - especially a woman - feeling unsafe and fearing being abused or raped. In order to trust, you have to give the person and opportunity and room to open up to you without judgements - and I do think they aren't very judgy people.

I mean, they are demons, for fuck's sake. They can't judge anything especially Vergil

Also, I don't blame my mom nor my sister (even if I got really mad at her). In the end, both of them wanted what was best for me, they thought it was an opportunity and wanted me to get my career back. Truth is, no woman knows how to act when this happens. And they didn't know how to act as well. They didn't want to think of the worst: just like I was doubting myself and my own feelings, they were doubting theirs as well. We ALL had to be validated by a man to admit something was wrong and we weren't hysterical.

Ok, ok, storytime over. But I felt like sharing this because people, you are ALWAYS valid in your concerns - and there's no clothing, no smile, no attitude, no NOTHING that JUSTIFIES abuse. If you're abused or feeling like someone wants to take advantage of you, especially sexually, YOUR FEELINGS AND FEARS ARE VALID. Don't shrug it off or water it down just because people are saying you're overreacting - if I had listened to everyone around me instead of my gut feeling that something was REALLY wrong, only the gods know what would've happened. But I'll tell ya, it probably wouldn't have been good for me.

At best, I'd be mad this guy would want to pick me up like a whore and I'd have to turn him down and take a ride home. At worst, he would've raped me - in his car, at the "restaurant", at his "office". We don't know, but I didn't want to "give luck to bad luck" as we say where I live.

I didn't have support, so I wrote a story to feel supported by the fictional characters I look up to - I wished SO bad I was dating someone, especially a man, who'd tell me he'd go through hell and back to keep me safe and wouldn't allow anyone to hurt me and validate my feelings. Someone who would make me feel safe and I wouldn't have to only rely on myself.

cue in V saying he too wanted to be loved and protected, I tell you, all this time I thought I hated Vergil when I had only found my nemesis in a mirror

So, don't ever doubt yourselves. Don't ever doubt your gut feelings. We might want validation and someone to keep us safe, but sometimes we don't have that and have to rely on our survival mode. It sucks, but there's a reason why that thing is called "survival": it keeps you alive. It keeps you going.

And no one, NO ONE has the right to say you're overreacting, you're being hysterical, you're reading too much into it, you're just trying to find the easy way out, you just don't want an opportunity because you're lazy, you're crazy and deranged, etc, etc.

If your gut is flapping red flags all around, then overreact. Be hysterical. Read too much into it, find the easy way out, be lazy, be crazy and deranged. Be the villain. Be the bad person. You're not perfect. You're not a princess. Be comfortable with people telling you you're bad - but never NEVER let go of your gut feeling when your safety is on the line.

That fucking thing WILL save your life. Being too nice, though, might not. Listen to yourself, be TRUE to yourself, and, again, don't be afraid to be bad.

Someday you might just find your half-demon man who will support you, protect you and treat you as an equal powerhouse, but until that day, keep on conquering your self-esteem and unwavering will.

I'm just saying all of this now because:

1 - I was too scared to talk about this for a looong time afraid the guy in question would find this, know it's me and my safety would be on the line again

2 - Just now I'm getting comfortable with the concept of being "seen as the villain" and being "seen as bad". My whole life I have been dancing around this because people always said I had a "difficult" personality. I watched Cruella recently and it hit home so hard. We do have things to learn from villainous characters and maybe this is just who I am. People are going to see me as bad so, who cares. Even if I'm not, it would do me good getting used to that idea - I can be more assertive to my boundaries and not allow any of this to happen again. So, there you go. It's an exercise everyone should do. Are you comfortable defending your ideas, your boundaries and your integrity even if people are mad you're not being a pushover/perfectly polite?

It's something I think all of us should think about ;)

Also

thanks for coming to my TED Talk :')

#polaris speaks #story time #red flags #workplace #work life #job hunting #I don't even know how to tag this #so if you guys have any ideas you're welcome to add #I just think it's a bit of experience we all have to share #so other people will be aware and know how to avoid this kind of shit #because like I told you not even all the women in my family knew how to act #and we all have this thing of not being rude or cutting off relationships or networking contacts and such #of being perfect all the time #hence why I'm on this 'be bad be villainous be fabulous' phase #'cause I do think some of us could benefit from that #don't be a bitch by all means #but know how to set and protect your boundaries #alsoooo it's a huge post #I know #but I felt it might be good #so thanks for reading if you read all of it HAHAHAHA #I HOPE it has helped you xD #still scared of that guy finding me tho not gonna lie #but it is what it is

[sara78]

Family don't end in blood - chapter 6

Summary: The vacation is over and Y/N heads back to Vancouver with Jensen. However, one of the Ackles has made it their mission to have Y/N come back, and some talks lead to some secrets unraveling, despite Y/N not wating to get attached...

Pairing: Jensen Ackles x foster!daughter reader

Word count: 5,800 and some change

Warnings: Kids are too adorable for their own good, mentions of abuse (not graphic by any means but SKIP IF THIS TRIGGERS YOU), hints of depression, Jensen is a sweetheart

A/N: This one has all the feels!

Your stay at the Ackles had come to an end. You would definitely lie if you said you didn't enjoy the time you spent here. Even though your nightmares didn't give you much rest, being around kids reminded you of the fact that there's still some kind souls that will love you just for who you are and won't ask anything in return for their love. Even though you will probably not be as lucky to meet someone your age with a soul as kind as theirs, it still warmed your heart. This world needs more souls as kind as theirs and you hope life will be good to them.

It hurt you to know that you probably won't be coming back. You were getting attached, and you didn't like it. You had to put an end to it. It might trigger a shit show but you can't get attached to a family. A perfectly normal family like this one doesn't need a fuck-up like you closer than arms length. No family should have anything to do with you. You were better off on your own. With nobody breathing on your neck and the freedom to do whatever you want. Having Jensen's household in peace without you is the card you wanted to play. JJ didn't like you from the very beginning and you didn't want to get in her personal space. You never found out if her strange behavior is related to bullies, as she never said anything after numerous of talks she had with both Jensen and Danneel. Even Jared tried to approach her, but she didn't crack. You sincerely hoped she was telling the truth and she didn't have a bully or two up her ass.

And this weird feeling you started developing few days before you flew to Austin for fall break, it never washed off. You thought it must have been your nerves dancing around since you're going to stay at someone else's home and you didn't want to invade their personal space. But even after coming and settling, the feeling didn't go away. It sent you spiraling down the rabbit hole, the one you're still trying to climb out of. And just when you took some small steps, the nightmares mixed with this terrible feeling in your gut set you further back. You felt like something really bad was going to happen, and you kept praying that whatever it is, walks around Jensen and his family.

You got attached.

And you didn't like it.

To say that Zeppelin was sad the entire last day of your stay was a vast understatement. He clung to you like a koala, the girls doing the same thing to Jensen.

Danneel was giggling as she found Zeppelin hanging over your neck while you were cleaning the table after breakfast,

"What's the matter, buddy? Are you gonna miss Y/N?" she asked, coming up to take him off your back. He nod, looking at his mom but not letting go of you,

"I want her to stay forever. Can she stay forever?"

"If I'm asked, she can. But that's her decision to make, honey," Danneel reminded him.

His question took you by surprise for a moment.

Why would he want you to stay? He's been asking for you to stay ever since you came here. What is it that he sees in you that's so worth of your stay? Even better, that is so worth of his love? You understood children are innocent. They don't see the way you hurt, the way you hide things, the shattered heart you hide behind great walls of defense, battered and barely holding together by now. You understood that children were just too innocent for this world, but what will always take you back is how much they didn't care.

They didn't care if you're happy, sad, tall, short, they don't care about the color of your skin, about where you're coming from, about what's your opinion on any topic ever. All they cared about is if you're wanting to spend time with them doing silly things and laughing your ass off. Sometimes they'd need some consoling as well. And if you can do all of the above for them, in return they'd give you all their love and their little hearts. Their world is so simple. Loving and simple.

"Can you stay forever, Y/N? You heard mommy, she said yes! And daddy will say yes too!" he exclaimed with a smile on his face, making you smile as well,

"You really want me to stay forever?" he nod, happiness seeping out of his eyes, "I'll stay in your heart forever. That sounds good? And, I'll stay your best friend forever. So, when you wanna talk about whatever, you can ask your mom to call me. I'll talk to you whenever I get the chance to."

"But I want you to be here too," he said, "I like it how you sing and make up all those weird voices and names!"

"I don't sing good at all, bubba," you giggled, "But I can teach you how to make those weird voices sometime. Now, how about we go check on our Dino park we made the other day when I finish up here?" you asked, Zeppelin nodding,

"Go, have fun. I'll finish it up," Danneel said, approaching to take the plates from your hands,

"Sorry," you said, Danneel rolling her eyes,

"Girl, please. Shoo or I make you," she teased, making Zeppelin giggle,

"Mommy you aren't scary," he said, "You can't be scary."

"Oh mommy can be very scary in certain situations," Jensen said, entering the room and winking. You rolled your eyes,

"Dude, we didn't need that information. Like, at all."

"I'm kidding," he giggled, "Or maybe I'm not..." he smirked, nudging you playfully, "What are you guys up to?"

"We gonna see the Dino park!" Zeppelin exclaimed,

"Oh, the one you built a few days back?" he nod, "That's cool! Make sure to feed all the dinosaurs, buddy."

"Daddy, can Y/N stay forever?" Zeppelin asked,

"Of course she can!" he exclaimed, "But making her to stay is going to be a lot more difficult," you rolled your eyes, walking away with Zeppelin.

"He's so attached to her," Danneel smiled, "Doesn't she have family?"

"Not that I know of," Jensen sighed, "She could always stay here. Or at least have a place to stay here. Are you okay with that?"

"I love having people over, you out of all know that. She's a great kid, I can tell. It's just that, as you said, there is more to her story we're yet to find out, and whatever it is it's not giving her sunshine and rainbows and it's the root cause of everything she's been doing."

"Whatever she's carrying is weighing down on her to the point where she... she doesn't believe in good people anymore. And she can't be happy. She's very deep down the rabbit hole. Well, if nothing, I haven't seen her happy like that before," Jensen said, "Well, last time I saw an honest smile from her was when she met us on the very first day of shooting. After that no smiles were so big as the ones now, when she's playing with Zepp."

"You know I'm the one to make the first move most of the time, but I'm handing you this whole operation over. I trust both you and Zeppelin to pick a kind soul. Life might have not been nice to her, but she's got a kind soul. That much I know. I love her too, and I'd love nothing more but to give her a safe place to stay at if she doesn't have any family or relatives that she's going to stay with after y'all are done shooting."

"Thanks," Jensen smiled, kissing her lips, "For trusting me with her."

"Hmm, don't get all sappy on me, Ackles," she teased, "You spend more time with her. You'll get to know her better. Do let me know if I can help in any way from here."

After playing with Zeppelin for a few minutes, you realized you haven't packed your stuff. And, of course, Zeppelin wanted to stay by your side, so here he is, sitting on the bed and helping you pack your bag. As you were finishing with packing up your backpack, he asked you to stop for a second and ran out the door. You shrugged your shoulders, waiting for him to return. As he ran back into the room, he handed you a dinosaur toy. You smiled softly, recognizing it was his favorite one,

"This is your favorite dinosaur," you stated, handing the toy back to him but he shook his head and pushed your hand away gently, "Oh, you wanna play? Let me just finish up and we can play, okay?"

"No!" he exclaimed, "I wants you to have it!"

"Me?" you asked, confused, "Okay, I'll play with it."

"No! Not play. Have it like take it with you."

"What? Why? Big guy, this is your favorite dinosaur. I don't think you want to give it to me."

"Yea I want! He's my faves because he strong. I give it to you because you're big and strong and smart like he is!" he exclaimed, making your heart melt at the innocence seeping out of his face, "You big and strong and protect me from monsters in my dream! Thank you for protectin' me Y/N," he said, slamming into your legs and trying to give you a hug. You packed the dinosaur toy before picking Zeppelin up in your arms and hugging him tightly,

"Gosh bubba, I love you so much," you whispered, kissing his temple, "And I'll always protect you. Whether I'm here or not. Remember what I told you about me and Jensen hunting monsters?" he nod, "When I'm not here, try to remember that," you said, "And your big sisters will protect you too. Thanks for keeping me company bubba."

"I love you too Y/N," he said, hugging you the best he could with his tiny arms, "Remember, that dinosaur is big and strong. He'll protect ya from monsters in your dreams too. An' I got a whole park of 'em! We'll all protect you, same way y'all will protect me," he said, making your eyes tear up as you squeezed him tighter,

"Thank you for this, buddy," you breathed, trying not to cry, "I appreciate it a lot. I promise to take good care of him and I'll bring him back to play with his friends if I come back."

"Okay," he nod with a smile, "And ya welcome!"

Jensen, Jared and you had a flight late at night, which allowed Jensen to tuck all the kids in and say goodbye to them before you left to the airport.

You were just finishing up with putting on your shoes when Jensen called you from the top of the stairs, saying Zeppelin wants to see you. Your heart melted a little and you nod, saying you'll be right up.

When you entered his room, he was patiently waiting for you. Laying down in his bed, with his blankie tightly held between his tiny hands. His eyes shined brightly with happiness as they looked at you, hair falling all over his sweet face.

"Hey big guy," you smiled as you approached, sitting down on his bed, moving hair away from his face, "I heard from dad-uh, Jensen that you wanted to see me?"

"Thanks for playin' with me," he said with a soft smile, "An' thanks for playing with Ro too. And for takin' me to unca Jared's to play with Tom and Shep. You're the best."

"You're the best, big guy. Thank you for wanting to play with me and for always inviting me to play with you. And thanks for your dinosaur, again. I'm so happy that I got a chance to meet you, buddy. You're an amazing boy and don't let anyone ever tell you otherwise. Deal?" he nod,

"Promise me to come for my birthday. Please? Daddy will invite you. I asked him to. I want you to come."

"I can't promise you, but I'll do my best to be here. Okay?" he frowned sadly, "I'm sorry bubba. I can't promise you just because I don't wanna break it. I can promise you to try my best. Is that okay?" he nod, lighting up a little bit,

"Could you be my big sis? Like Ro and J?" he then asked, "Be my big sis and stay here forevs! We can play together and we can sing and we can have fun! I promise."

Your heart swelled at the sweet words, at the innocence and love pouring out of his eyes.

"I'll be your best friend. Which is kinda same," you smiled, "You're very special, Zeppelin. And thank you for allowing me to feel very special too. I love you, bug guy. Don't ever forget that," he nod,

"I love you too Y/N. Don't forget me."

"How can I?" you smiled, going down to kiss his cheek. You got rewarded with two tiny arms wrapping around your neck and giving you a squeeze. You smiled, hugging him back, smothering him with small kisses all over his cute little face. You let him down and tuck him in, handing him his blankie, "I'll see you, big guy. Night night."

"Night night, Y/N."

You walked down to the hallway, seeing your luggage waiting for you. Jensen was putting on his shoes and Danneel seemed to be waiting to say goodbye.

"Thanks for the bags," you said,

"No worries," Jensen said as he stood up, walking over to Danneel, "Honey," he whispered, hugging her tightly, "We'll be back for the twins birthday. It's only three weeks."

"I know," she murmured, hugging him back tightly, "I'll miss you."

"I know. But hey, after that we have another week and a half of filming and then we got the entire January off. It's gonna be okay, honey."

"I know, I know," she sighed, breaking the hug, "Y/N, keep an eye out for him?"

"Yes ma'am," you mimicked a soldier salute, both giggling. Jensen kissed Danneel before grabbing the bags and leaving the house,

"Honey, thanks for coming here," Danneel said as she approached to you, "I loved having you here. I hope you'll come back again. And I apologize for the inconvenience with JJ."

"Everything's okay. Thank you for inviting me and for being so nice to me. I appreciate it."

"You're family, kiddo. It's what you get," Jensen smiled softly, "We gotta get going. Jared's waiting with Cliff."

Ten days later

Your biggest headache this upcoming week will be how to pull off showing up for the twins' birthday without creating a mayhem in the Ackles household.

You couldn't break Zeppelin's heart. His innocence reminded you too much of yourself, how innocent and happy, truly happy you once were. All you ever wanted was for people close to you to show up to everything you were doing, whether it was a birthday or a school play. But you weren't so lucky. You didn't want to do the same thing to him. Even though you're not as important in his life, you could tell he loved you and you didn't want to stomp on his little loving heart.

"Jensen?" you spoke up as you walked out of the bathroom, freshly showered, Jensen frowning at the laptop, "Did you manage to get into the command prompt again?"

"No," Jensen said, tilting his head at the laptop, "I think I didn't," he said, making you giggle, "I seriously cannot work this laptop. I don't have strength to figure this out now," he sighed, closing the laptop, "You were saying?"

"Do you have any motel recommendations for me?" Jensen tilted his head at you this time, just as confused at your question as he was about whatever he was doing on his laptop, "The twins have their birthday party next week, right?"

"They do, but what does that have to do with a motel?"

"Oh, sorry, I forgot to add - motel recommendations in Austin," you added, "I can work something around their birthday. I was thinking to take them both for a day and just have fun with them, since I'm not exactly welcome at the party. I just don't want to break Zepp's heart. I can be there and I'll be there."

"First of all, if you haven't noticed, our place can be as well called a big-ass fancy motel. You have a place to stay and I won't let you go to a sketchy motel room when you have a place where I don't have to pace up and down and worry if you're safe every single second of your stay. Second of all, you can totally take the twins for a day, but you are also totally coming to the party," you were to speak up but Jensen cut you off, "No," he shook his head, "You don't win this one. Have you seen Zeppelin? How happy he is when you're with him?" you nod, "See, Zeppelin is not the one to make friends easily. He's the shy one, the one to never play with other kids because he's too shy to come up to them and ask if he can play. He's the kid you see playing by himself in the corner of the sand cube. But my shy bubba made a friend and you are that friend. For what I know so far, he hasn't made any friends in preschool yet, so his only wish is for his friend, his big sis to be there for his birthday, and you'll be there. JJ and Ro will have friends over, Jared will bring his kids too, but all Zeppelin cares about is you. I don't care about what JJ's got to say. Danneel and I have been talking to her and trying to get her to understand that you're not the bad guy and that she should meet you before jumping to the conclusions. But whatever her opinion on you is, it won't have any impact on your presence for the twins' birthday. You're coming. End of story."

"I... Thanks," you whispered, seeing in Jensen's expression he's taken back by your simple words, "For allowing me to come and all. It means a lot."

"You'll always have a place to stay at as long as Dee and I are around," Jensen said, "And as long as Jared and Mish are around as well. I know you've been alone for quite some time, but you're not alone anymore. Can I ask you a question though?" Jensen asked, continuing as you nod, "Why do you want to show up for him? For all I know, he's just a four, well, soon to be five year old."

"He might be five but he still has a heart and emotions. I promised to try my best to be there and if I already don't have filming for a few days I can be there. I've once been that little kid who was so excited and happy when my grandpa threw a birthday party for me. But when nobody showed up, I was so sad. I was crying and wondering why won't kids come to play. I knew I was different, but I went to everyone's birthdays and didn't care about the differences between us. It broke my heart. Even a girl I considered my best friend didn't show up. And my mother put a cherry on top by saying that I'm ugly and weird and that that's the reason why I will never make a friend. Words you tell kids stick to them forever, even if you think they don't. And to know that my own mother, the woman who gave birth to me, saw me that way, it struck deep down. And she never showed up for me when it mattered. Any play, gathering in front of an audience for any sort of celebration. Nothing. All of the other kids had their parents in the audience, and me? I was always alone. I'd walk home alone. The teachers would ask me where's my mom, and I'd just say that she didn't come. I'd lie that she was working, fully knowing she wasn't. Now, I know none of the three won't hear anything remotely similar to this from you and Danneel. But I want to be there for him. He loves me a lot and if I know one thing, it's how it feels when you're left hanging, especially when by someone you hold near to your heart. Of course, this sounds stupid to you but I just..."

"You're not weird, nor ugly, nor whatever your mother fed you with," Jensen said, wrapping his arm around you, "You're Y/N. Sure, you've got your shit but that doesn't make you less worthy of being loved. You're a beautiful, kind and loving soul. You're ready to give up an entire week and a half of free time to go spend it with two five year olds, when you've been in nothing but work-school mode and we both know how much you need a break. I don't see anything ugly in you. Neither do kids, or Dee, or anyone on the set. We love you just the way you are. You aren't supposed to be perfect, nobody is. But you're doing your best and that's what matters and goes beyond everything else that anyone has to say about you. Thank you for loving him the way you do."

"Thanks," you smiled, "I was kind of an ass to you lately. It's just... I'm still trying to understand why would you want to have anything with a thing as broken as me and I..."

"This seems to good to be true, huh?" Jensen smiled, watching as you nod. He stood up from where he was sitting, coming up to give you a gentle hug, "You're not your worst days. You're not your trauma, fears, nightmares. You are you, battered and bruised and hurt but you're still here and you just need time to heal. And some love. And that's exactly what I can offer you. And three little rugrats to eat your brains out as a bonus, though I'm not sure how much they can help," he teased, making you smile, "You're safe, kiddo. Whatever's infecting your dreams at night, whatever shit is brewing in your head, you're safe."

"I... I have nightmares about her," you whispered, Jensen frowning, breaking the hug to look you in the eye, "About... About my mother. She's... Hitting me. Like, boxing bag hitting me. And it feels so real, it hurts. And the worst of it all? Once upon a time it was real. It wasn't a dream. It was a real thing I lived through. Wooden spoon, belt. She didn't give it much of a thought what was she going to use on me. And honestly, nothing hurt as much as the first time, when she plain and simple beat me with her bare hands. Hands that were supposed to love me and hold me were all of a sudden so harsh and did nothing but damage and it was... The worst pain I could think of."

"Shit..." Jensen breathed, hugging you, "She hit you too. What the actual fuck," he murmured and you scrunched your face, trying to hold back tears, "I would love to return the fucking favor to her. No kid should be beaten by their own parent. No matter how bad they fucked up. Kiddo, look at me for a second," he pleaded and you obeyed, looking up to meet his eyes, "Do you have any physical injuries that need to be addressed?"

"No," you shook your head, "All of that happened months, years ago. My body healed. It's just my heart now."

"Okay then. We can work on that," he smiled and you shook your head,

"Don't bother. For real. I'll be fine."

"Every single time you open up a little you shut it off minutes later. Is it because you're afraid of attaching? You think you'll be left alone when you begin opening up?" you kept quiet.

Of course Jensen was going to read you like an open book. How did he do that? How is he capable of doing that?

"Kiddo, you've been keeping all of that somewhere deep down and I think it's about time you let it out, little by little. I know you're afraid that I'm going to up and leave you hanging, and I know that me telling you that I won't leave won't do anything but if you want to try, I can prove you that I really meant what I said. As long as I'm around and as long as Jared and Mish are around, you'll be safe. We won't let anything happen to you."

"You can't promise shit like that."

"Yeah, you're right," Jensen sighed, "How about - I promise to be here whatever happens in your life?"

"You can't promise that either. I'm gonna be gone after filming. I won't live here, I won't work with you anymore."

"You think that just because we're done filming the season we won't stay in touch and we won't come back for another season?" your eyes light up at the mention of a new season, "Hey, Jared, Mish, Dee and I are holding this whole operation together. If we say there's gonna be 10 more seasons, there'll be 10 more seasons. Just letting you know. But my point is- you said you've been a part of the supernatural family for a long time. Then you know that all of us keep in touch, one way or another, and you're no different from others. You know all this. But your head is telling you things and you keep choosing to listen to your head, because, as you said, whenever you listen to your heart things go downhill."

"I've had this bad feeling for a few weeks now and I hope it's just a stupid feeling but wounds and memories I don't even remember existed are showing back up and I'm just... I'm very scared."

"Whether it's a bad feeling or not, I'm here. So is Dee, Jared, Mish. Whoever you want to talk to, you can."

"Why didn't you offer professional help?" you asked, Jensen smiling,

"Well if I were in your shoes I'd rather open up to a familiar face then to someone new. Am I right?" he asked. You thought for a second, nodding after that, "If you want anyone professional to jump in at any moment, reach out to Jared. He's got some contacts, so you don't go to someone who's not safe and trying to find their way into your wallet but will actually help you."

"Okay," you breathed, closing your eyes for a moment, "I know I'm an ass to you and this whole bad feeling thing... It's a lot. But thank you for understanding."

"Don't thank me kiddo. It's the least I can offer. Anytime you wanna talk, I'm right here."

"She... She blamed me," you whispered after some time of complete silence. Jensen got a gentle hold of your hand and walked you over to the couch, sitting you down before he sat next to you, "I never had a dad. My father never wanted me. He accused my mom of lying and cheating and he believed so hard that I wasn't his child. He kicked her out of the house. And it seems like she had made it her mission to make sure that I know I'm the reason they broke apart."

"So, instead of letting that idiot go and focusing on her child, she fully threw you down the rabbit hole and blamed you for something you had no control over? It's not like you wanted to be born. They made you. There's nothing there that points you're wrong. You do know that, right?" you nod, sniffling,

"My grandpa, he never went over my father's behavior. My grandpa wasn't a good dad to my mother and he didn't want me to grow up without a dad. And my mom was miserable too. And he just wanted us both to have him and complete the family. He tried calling, writing letters, reaching out. But nothing ever worked out. At some point he just gave up and tried his best to raise me, make up for being a bad dad by being a good grandpa. And he was the best. And he'd often tell me that same thing you told me - I'm not at fault for their break-up. That was an issue they should have addressed by themselves, not drag me into it."

"Your grandpa sounds like he was the best man in your life," Jensen said, "I hope you got some peace when you were with him. But she was wrong. Everything that ever came out of her mouth was a lie."

"I know."

"That's what you meant when you said you were different from other kids," Jensen spoke up, taking you by surprise as you realized he was actually listening to every single word you said, "You grew up without a dad, and had your grandpa raise you. Not all parents are good at teaching their kids that being different is okay too. But I can tell you that you didn't turn out to be any less of a person because of the circumstances you grew up in, especially since you had your grandpa."

"I've dreamed of having a dad for such a long time. My mom even got together with one guy but he left and never came back. Guess who was at fault for that," you huffed a smile, Jensen groaning, "I really wanted her to be happy. But she never got the chance to settle with someone and I know I wasn't the reason for that but the voice of someone you're supposed to be loved by and cared for by carved all the worst adjectives in my mind and... It's hard."

"It will take a while, but you will heal. I promise."

"You think?"

"With right people around you and right approach, yes."

"I hope so," you breathed, "It just seems like I'm so... Broken. Like, beyond repair broken and some days I hate myself so much and I don't think that I can ever be a happy person and smile again."

"But then you walked into the Ackles household and were smiling for the majority of your stay as you played with Zeppelin," Jensen pointed out, "Were you happy back there? Like really, honestly happy? No bullshit?" you nod, not seeing a point in lying to him,

"I was. He's got a cute smile and such powerful imagination and he's so full of energy, he made it impossible for me to be sad. But it was a temporary fix. And it's not like I'm gonna move in and live in your home with your family after we're done filming, so I gotta work my way through this."

"One step at a time, kiddo," Jensen said, throwing his arm around you and bringing you into a side hug, "One step at a time," you nod, wrapping your arms around him, "She's got some serious unaddressed issues. You're a great person and nobody can take that from you," he commented, making you smile, "Thank you for opening up, kiddo. It means a lot."

"Thank you for not running away from me yet," she responded, Jensen shaking his head,

"Never gonna do that. Wait," he gasped, making you break the hug as you looked up to him, "Is... Is that why you though I was gonna hit JJ? You... You got flashbacks?" you nod, looking down,

"I've seen anger on my mother so many times that I can now easily pinpoint it on any person. You seemed so angry and I have never seen that part of you and I... Yeah. I got scared that you were gonna hit her for something she didn't mean to do. I know you'd never hit any of your kids, but my mind can't help it. I'm sorry."

"You've got nothing to be sorry for. And yes, I'll never hit my kids, nor you, because I strongly believe everything can be sorted out with talking, and a grounding here and there. No violence ever solved a thing. Why would I do it on my children?"

"This world needs more parents like you and Dee," you said with a smile, "I would love to have parents like you."

"Well, we're far from perfect, but we can distinguish right from wrong and that's a start I guess," Jensen sighed, "I'm sorry you had to go through all that. But I am also very proud of you making it out and building your own way through life."

"Thanks for everything, Jensen," you whispered, tears welling up in your eyes, "I always knew you were kind. But all of this what you're doing, it's so much greater. Thanks for not bolting though the door. And whenever you want to do so, please just tell me so I can say goodbye. I've had so many people leave and I just wished I was able to say goodbye."

"Not planning to do that," Jensen assured you, making you smile sadly, "I know, I know. You don't believe me. I wouldn't believe it if I were in your shoes for sure. I'll prove it to you, don't you worry about that."

"It's okay, really. Whatever happens, it's okay. I'm just very happy I got to meet you all and work with you. Never in a million years would I think I would end up here."

"Hm, we're glad we got you too," he smiled kindly at you, making you smile back as you hugged him, "Awww, I get a hug."

"Shut up, dork," you teased, making him giggle before feeling his arms wrap around your body,

"Can I ask another question?" he asked. You broke the hug, nodding, "Do you have any other family besides your late grandpa? I don't even want to call that monster family."

"I do, but none of them care. All of them are just as disappointed in me as my mother."

"Well, if Zeppelin hasn't made it obvious, you're very welcome to be his big sis and stay with us whenever and for however long you want," Jensen smiled, kissing the top of your head, "You're great with kids."

"Thanks for the offer. Now, have you gotten anything for the twins birthday?"

"That's what I was trying to work on this thing!" he exclaimed, grabbing the laptop, making you giggle,

"Jesus Christ," you breathed as he handed you the laptop,

"Jensen, but common misconception, as I'm sure we both don't know how to work a laptop."

A/N: Thanks for being patient and reading this chapter! Once again tagging @crasmuna , my biggest support nowadays &lt;3

#jensen ackles fanfiction #jensen ackles x y/n #jensen ackles x daughter!reader #supernatural fanfiction