#then you add EVERYTHING ELSE ABOUT HER??? fucking fantastic

[many-gay-magpies]

anyways i finished the peripheral. had to come on tumblr to search stuff up about it immediately because what the fuck was that ending. found out amazon renewed and then canceled season 2. we are in the dystopia now

#my opinions: #lowbeer ROCKS she is literally so cool her vibes are IMMACULATE she is just amazing #style through the roof. charisma through the fucking stratosphere #the name lowbeer ALONE is just. so incredibly badass #then you add EVERYTHING ELSE ABOUT HER??? fucking fantastic #i love pretty much all the characters theyre all so unique and complicated and HUMAN #i had pretty much no clue what was going on plot-wise the entire last episode but thats fine cuz ill never get to find out anyway #!! :D!!.!!! .. #amazon can get fucked. #all the war buddies' relationships were so SWEET i loved them #flynne my beloved 💞💞💞💞 #cherise's fashion game was UNTOUCHABLE my god. her vibes? impeccable. all of the women in this show are so gorgeous i cannot take it #also i could not help but envision a world where lev zubov's character position was instead fulfilled by a butch lesbian. same clothes same #-personality same story same everything. literally nothing changes except she's a hot snazzy murderous butch #because you can never have too much queer #also. on that note. flynne? bisexual as hell. #for that matter everyone's at least a lil bi just cuz i say so #i also loved tommy's little ''kill the bad guy(s) and immediately get fucked up about it'' arc #aelita got that ultimate lesbian rizz. oh my GOD #that scene with grace? 'whats her name?' 'its a he actually' 'oh you poor thing' i love her. do you get that? i love her so much. #is everyone this queer in the book because if so i NEED to read it #im gonna read it anyway but like thatll make me want to even more #aaaaand thus concludes my thoughts on the peripheral. for now anyway lol #magpie thoughts #the peripheral #the peripheral amazon

[poisonlove]

Lust +18 | Jenna Ortega

Martina Smith, a university student passionate about soccer and casual encounters, follows an inflexible rule: no emotional commitments. Meanwhile, Jenna Ortega, a writer married to a successful but distant entrepreneur, seeks to revive her creativity by accepting a job as an English literature teacher.

In an intertwining of worlds, both women face the challenge of staying true to their principles, exploring the trials of life, love, and authenticity. On this journey, forbidden feelings might challenge their self-imposed rules, leading them to question the barriers they've set in their hearts.

This is a fanfiction and will have many parts.

"Alright… when do we make things official?"

I look at Jessica with a raised eyebrow, tired of her constant requests. I sigh and light a cigarette, closing my eyes to savor each puff.

"What are you talking about?" I mutter distractedly, letting the smoke slowly escape through my nostrils.

Jessica smiles with a touch of challenge, placing her hand on my abdomen and tracing her finger along my skin to my jaw. Her blue eyes meet mine, and her delicate gestures elicit sighs of pleasure.

"You know…" she whispers, leaning towards me to gently kiss my neck, "we've been seeing each other for a while."

"Jess…" I start with irritation.

Jessica is trying to elevate our casual encounters to a more official level. I don't want to hurt her, but my heart doesn't flutter when I see her, and I don't feel the classic butterflies in my stomach. Jessica only offers me shivers of excitement for her beauty and the extraordinary sex we share.

I extinguish the cigarette on the ashtray on the nightstand.

"Come on, Marty… the sex is fantastic." Jessica interrupts, smiling broadly. The head cheerleader of our school in Miami frees herself from the sheets to straddle my legs.

My eyes burn as I watch her slender figure, biting my lower lip at the perfection of her breasts. Jessica's touch on the rose tattoo on my right arm distracts my attention from her body.

"You said it right…" I begin, smiling slightly. "Sex is fantastic, why ruin it with a relationship?" I ask curiously, biting my lower lip with mischief.

"Because you know I want to be with you…" Jessica looks at me through her long lashes. "Be your girlfriend," she concludes, emphasizing the last word.

I scoff and lean my head against the pillow.

"I love you, okay?" She confesses, and my body tenses hearing these words. Instinctively, I make Jessica slide off my body, her eyes showing a mix of pain and confusion.

I grab my jeans from the floor and put them on quickly, buttoning them before pulling up the zipper. "Jessica, we need to be clear. I don't want anything serious."

"But… I thought there was something more between us." Jessica looked at me with teary eyes. The sheets wrap around her body as she gets off the bed.

"You misunderstood everything. Sex is what I'm looking for, nothing else." I say seriously, putting on the jacket around my shoulders.

"You can't treat people like this, Martina." Jessica looks at me with glassy eyes and trembling lips, her voice broken by my words.

"Sorry if I can't fulfill your romantic dream." I reply with a bitter smile.

Jessica, visibly angry, walks towards me. "Don't talk like that! I love you, and you're just a… a selfish jerk!" My eyes curiously observe her face, and then my face turns to the other side due to the slap I received.

"Screw you," she adds with a broken tone, and I just stay still, sighing loudly for her psychotic crisis.

"Enough," I take her hands and move them away from my body. "My idea won't change," I mutter distractedly.

Jessica lifts her face and looks at me with confusion, blue eyes reddened from crying. My hands rest on the sides of her cheeks, my thumb playing with the entrance of her mouth.

I lean slowly, and my lips brush against her ear, a moan unconsciously escaping from the depth of her throat. "If you can't continue fucking without seeing me as a girlfriend… maybe it's better if you find someone else," I smile against her skin and move away from her body.

Jessica looks at me with fury.

I quickly bend down, seeing a brush flying towards me. "GET OUT," Jessica breathes loudly through her nose, flushed with anger. "Damn daughter of…AHHH" the girl takes a notebook from the desk and throws it at me, but fortunately, it hits the wall.

I pick up the backpack from the floor and open the door.

"So… see you tomorrow?" I say playfully. Jessica opens her mouth in disbelief and grabs the lamp from the desk.

"I think that's a no," I quickly say, closing the door behind me, later hearing the sound of the lamp shattering against it.

"She's crazy," I say, smiling in disbelief. "But she'll change her mind," I say smiling maliciously, walking down the stairs.

I take out my phone and call Jackson, my best friend.

"Hey, sweetheart! How did it go?" Jackson's voice sounds excited, and I smile pleased. "Actually, I got slapped… but it was worth it," I say tilting to the side to let an elderly woman with groceries pass and walk out of the building.

"I called you…" I start hesitantly, "to ask for a ride, I know," Jackson concludes, laughing.

My eyes look at the surrounding environment, the cars passing peacefully on the streets, and the sounds of passersby exploring the city, increasing the lively atmosphere. A smile paints on my lips seeing a child walking hand in hand with his mom.

"Exactly…" I clear my throat and close my eyes, trying to push away the thoughts that were going through my head. "Did you also take the bag? I have practice in a bit," I bite my lower lip nervously.

"Of course, sweetheart," Jackson chuckles, and I roll my eyes at his comment.

"It's a shame you don't like football," I mutter, walking absentmindedly on the sidewalk, occasionally kicking a small pebble that was in the way. "I couldn't play anyway, I'm a man," Jackson laughs. "You have nothing of a man, at most, you like them," I comment, and Jackson sighs slightly.

"Come on! Move it," I smile hearing Jackson curse at someone honking incessantly.

While I walk absentmindedly on the sidewalk, lost in my thoughts, someone bumps into me, making me lose balance.

"Watch where you're going!" I exclaim a bit irritated, clutching the phone tightly. "Sorry, I'm really in a hurry. I hope you're okay," says the woman with a conciliatory tone, her gaze expressing a mix of apologies and concern.

"Okay, no problem," I reply, trying to hide my irritation. The woman quickly moves away. "Bitch," I whisper to myself, shaking my head as I continue my way. The city's frenzy continues around me, and my phone vibrates again, a sign that Jackson might be around the corner for the ride to practice.

After the collision, I sigh lightly, and as I walk away, I notice something on the side of the road, near a small tree.

I squint my eyes, curious, and approach. I bend down to get a better look and discover a bracelet with a heart. "How cute…" I whisper, selfishly thinking it might be a perfect way to make amends with Jessica. Maybe the owner despairs, but in the end, who cares? Life is full of opportunities, and this could be mine.

I casually tuck the bracelet into my hoodie. A car honks, and I smile seeing Jackson's perfectly restored 1976 Ford Torino.

I get into the car, and we start a conversation as we drive through the city streets.

"Do you have any idea how magnificent this Torino is?" I ask, admiring Jackson's car.

"It's a true beauty, I know," he responds proudly. "So, spill… what happened? You have a nasty mark on your cheek." Jackson absentmindedly points his hand towards me, and I nonchalantly fasten my seatbelt.

"I had a little incident with Jessica." I shrug. "She can't accept that I just want sex from her," I confess, and Jackson opens his mouth in surprise. "Well… can't blame her," he comments, raising his eyebrows, starting the car.

"But look what I found along the way." I quickly change the subject and show the bracelet. "Free! Not bad as compensation, huh?" I chuckle. "A girl bumped into me, and she lost it… but who cares," I comment timidly.

Jackson laughs. "Maybe it could be useful to patch things up with Jessica," I add with a smile. "Maybe," he comments absentmindedly, shifting his attention to the car window, admiring the external landscape.

We almost immediately arrive at our university's sports field after the short journey. The 1976 Ford Torino roars to a powerful stop, and I get out of the car thanking Jackson for the ride.

"Good luck with the training," Jackson wishes me with an encouraging smile.

"Thanks, I'll need it," I reply, closing the door. I walk quickly towards the locker rooms, hoping not to attract the coach's attention.

But just when I thought I had gone unnoticed, the coach catches me red-handed. "Smith… you're late," he says with a serious voice, staring at me with a stern look.

"Traffic mystery, coach," I try to joke, but his look clearly indicates that he's not amused. "For this, you'll do 5 extra laps around the field," he decrees, and my smile fades. I start running towards the locker rooms, trying to make up for lost time and prepare for training, now with an extra load of fatigue to face.

A message arrives on my phone, and I smile seeing that it's from Jessica.

"Hey… sorry for earlier…"

The only thing I think is that maybe this whole affair is resolving itself more easily than expected.

JENNA'S POV

My breath is short, recovering after the frantic run to make it to the interview. Anxiety tightens my chest, but there's a particular reason amplifying the tension: I've lost the bracelet my husband gave me for our fifth anniversary.

Harry, though not the most present husband, is a good person. His executive career keeps him away from home most of the time, and this distance reflects on our marital life. His professional commitments often make him an occasional guest in our home.

My mind is torn between interview anxiety and the regret of misplacing such a special gift. Additionally, my shoulder hurts from the encounter with a grumpy girl. As I try to catch my breath, I realize this day didn't start in the best way, but perhaps it will hold unexpected surprises that will change the course of things.

I take a deep breath before knocking on the door labeled "Principal West."

"Come in," the male voice inside calmly calls for me to enter the office.

I step in and look around, noticing the photos and trophies on the shelves. I quickly observe that the man is surprisingly well-dressed.

"Mrs. Robinson!" The man opens his arms with enthusiasm, smiling with all 32 teeth. "Please, have a seat." He gestures towards the empty chair in front of his desk.

I sit down, and the interview begins. "So, Mrs. Robinson…" Principal West starts, picking up my resume.

"I prefer you to call me by my maiden name, Ortega," I correct gently. Principal West nods strangely. "Why is the wife of a prestigious businessman in my school?" he asks with genuine interest.

The issue is that I'm recognized for my status as a wife, not for my skills as a good writer with a master's in literature. I don't bring up this fact, of course. "I desire this job," I murmur distractedly, playing with my fingers.

In reality, writing makes me feel stuck, and I need a break.

Principal West, with a polite smile, looks over my resume. "I must admit, Mrs. Ortega, that your resume is impressive, perhaps even overqualified for the position of English literature teacher at our school."

I genuinely smile, but with a hint of embarrassment. "I appreciate the compliment, Principal West. I'm aware of my academic experience, but I strongly believe in the importance of contributing to students' growth, regardless of my background."

The principal seems to reflect on those words, then changes the subject, asking about my previous experiences in the field of education. The conversation continues, and I try to convey the passion I have for literature and teaching, hoping that it can overcome any doubts about my excessive qualification for the position.

"Alright, you've convinced me," the principal stands up and reaches out his hand to shake mine.

I blink in surprise and reciprocate the handshake. "Does this mean…" I begin, and the principal smiles.

"Yes, you got the job. You can start tomorrow," he announces, and I genuinely smile, happy for the news. A mix of excitement and gratitude fills my heart as I realize that a new chapter of my life is about to begin.

As he's about to leave the office, the principal stops me. "And give my regards to your husband… I'm sure he'll be proud of you," he says with eyes sparkling with enthusiasm. "I will, thank you so much, Principal West." With light steps, I leave the office, carrying with me the enthusiasm for the new opportunity and the awareness that even my husband might appreciate this achievement.

I walk through the hallways, looking at various lockers, and sigh for the nostalgic memories those places evoke. I check my phone and decide to inform my husband of the news as I make my way through the corridors.

"Hey, Harry!" I smile hearing that he accepts my call. "Hi, Jen," he responds calmly, his voice distant as if immersed in something.

"I need to tell you something." I bite my lower lip, hiding the excitement. "Is it important? I have a meeting," Harry whispers weakly.

I sigh audibly. "I got the job," I say suddenly, feeling discouraged. "Ah, good," he responds absentmindedly.

My eyes lift from the floor, and I see our car parked at the entrance of the institute. "Did you come to pick me up?" I ask with enthusiasm.

"No, I sent Tom to get you," he answers calmly. "Now I have to go," he mutters weakly.

"I love you," I say with a soft voice and hold back tears as I hear Harry hang up without responding to my statement.

I walk towards the car and sigh audibly, my heart heavy with sadness. "How did it go, Mrs. Ortega?" the driver asks kindly, sensing my melancholy.

"Yeah, good. I got the job," I reply with a faint voice, trying to mask the disappointed tone I feel inside.

The brief conversation with the driver is just background noise as I settle into the seat. I look out of the window, trying to hold back emotions. The landscape passes in front of me, but my mind is lost in thoughts. A single tear wets my face, and I can't help but feel vulnerable. The joy for the new opportunity is overshadowed by the realization of how distant my marriage is.

#jenna ortega x reader #jenna ortega #jenna ortega x you #jenna ortega x y/n #jenna ortega x fem!reader #oc reader #lust

[l0v3tast3]

AHH Hello!!! I absolutely love your writing, it’s so good!!!!

I was wondering…

Y/n always wear a mask to conceal her identity, in hopes the 141 doesn’t find out that Makarov is her father!!

141 had captured Makarov for interrogation, and y/n is there. As the interrogation continues, they start to notice that y/n and Makarov know each other, by the subtle little informality they spoke to one another. And the truth starts to come out, little by little!!!!

✎ tysm i love you :(( i absolutely love this idea the angst potential is just *chef's kiss* i'm sorry this one took like over a month to make oops, also i tried to keep personal details abt the reader as vague as possible, pls let me know if there's something i can fix!!

✎ tags: female reader, military reader, major daddy issues, violence, mentions of blood, hurt/barely any comfort if at all, not proofread im too cool for that,

✎ word count: 2,704

the silence in the cold, gray interrogation room was so thick that you were choking on it. you knew you had just fucked up, badly.

you had done so well so far, too. you're fabricated identity had fooled everyone. the name you had chosen stuck, and no one ever noticed your old one threatening to jump from your mouth when you introduced yourself. you always kept the childhood memories and little anecdotes vague. you stuck to your rehearsed lines better than a world-famous actor. you did every single thing right.

and now, here he was, your own blood, fucking it all up for you, again.

technically, he had made you fuck it up for yourself. it was just how makarov worked; he was a spider weaving a web in the corner, watching, waiting. this man, your supposed father, didn't know anything real about you. he didn't know you as a father should know his daughter. but he knew which buttons to press.

he only knew what to say to you when it would allow him the opportunity of watching you fall a little deeper towards rock bottom.

you knew that the room had cameras covering every square inch, and the microphones ensured that you're accidental admission to your heritage was heard by your entire task force.

there was a red hot pit opening inside of you, caving your insides in like a black hole and threatening to consume your entire being. it was rage, you realized. something you only ever seemed to feel in the presence of one person.

you briefly considered killing him, right there and then. was this really the straw that broke your back? it truly was just another thing to add to the list. you had known he would do this.

no, you were angry at yourself.

on the other side of the door, the four men of the 141 task force were all stood still in shock. what the hell did you just say?

none of them wanted to believe it. they especially didn't want to admit that it made sense. you had done a fucking fantastic job of hiding it, they'll admit that, but even you couldn't hide everything.

price saw the way you tensed when you were passed laswell's photo of makarov in the bar, after you had all put an end to hassan's plan. he saw the way you dropped it and slid it to the next person quickly, as if touching the picture had burned your fingertips.

soap had asked you if you were okay more than once during the plane ride to russia. you were so restless, so different from your usual grounded self. you just said you were having some flying anxiety. he felt stupid now for writing it off so easily.

and kyle, the first one to trust you (and to even really talk to you), he had seen the anger sparking off of you while you shot your way through the tower to get to makarov. floor after floor, bullet after bullet, you had paved a path of blood through the mercenaries. he wondered if someone else had taken your mask and gear and was pretending to be you.

simon saw the fear in you when you all got to the last door. you had been so quick in your endeavor to get here, but he saw you hesitate to follow them in. he saw how you never took your wide eyes off of him, and how you stayed a few steps back, moving far out of the way when price began to escort him out in handcuffs.

and when they had asked you to go into the interrogation room, they all saw how you stopped breathing, and the sweat collecting on what little skin they could see above your mask. you had stuttered when you quietly agreed.

when you stepped into the room, makarov took one look at your eyes, and you knew he recognized you. no, he recognized the hatred. and it made him smile.

now, sitting in the cold metal chair, you realized that it wasn't just one mistake, but a series of them; you had let him unravel you, again. you understood, finally, that he saw you as he did everyone else. he saw you as someone that held him back.

part of you had always known, ever since you were young, still single-digits, and he would only visit you once every few months, if that. you had elected to ignore it. now you couldn't.

you couldn't move. behind you was the door that would lead you to the consequences of your actions. in front of you was the reason for those actions.

this is what you had wanted, wasn't it? it was like something snapped back into place, and you suddenly remembered that everything you had done up until now, every time you put the mask on before leaving your room, every lie you had told and every person you had killed had been to get you here. in front of your father. you remembered that the image of him with a bullet between his eyes was what kept you going.

if you killed him, would it finally absolve you? the gun on your hip felt twenty pounds heavier now. your fingers, folded together in your lap with a white-knuckle grip, felt like lead. would this sin make all the other wrongs right?

a tiny voice was telling you to just walk away, let the team's wrath come down on you and let them deal with makarov, but you had already thrown the table between you towards the wall, he was already on the ground with your hands wrapped around his throat.

you were yelling, no, screaming at him. all the compacted feelings from years and years of being as quiet as possible came up like vomit, spewing out in a mess that could never be cleaned up.

there were more than just makarov's hands on you, pushing and pulling you away from him and dragging you out of the room, kicking and screeching to let you just finally kill him, while two other blurry shapes hauled him back into his own chair.

the heavy metal door shut behind the two people practically carrying you, and they finally let you go. you stumbled a few steps away, whirling around for the next target of your fury.

your captain and lieutenant were standing in front of you, both tensed, waiting for you to do something. you couldn't exactly make out their faces- were you crying?

"what in the bloody hell just happened in there?" price snarled. it was the voice he used when he was face to face with his enemy.

"let me back in there." it was a demand. you needed to kill him.

"that's not gonna happen," simon barked. john and kyle had come out from the interrogation room to stand behind the other two men. "you need to explain, now."

they all stared at you with varying looks of anger and hurt. it wasn't the first time you'd ever had it directed at you, but this was somehow worse than all the others.

every cell in your body was shrieking at you to just run for the door, to somehow get through all four of these men, your teammates, your friends, and kill makarov. but their glares glued you to your spot.

"please-" your voice was trembling, years of grief and agony dripping from every word, "please, just let me kill him. you have to let me kill him." you spoke slowly and quietly, focusing on just trying to get the words out. you took a shaky breath and focused your eyes on a muddy bootprint on the floor. you didn't want to see the looks on their faces.

"you don't understand, you just- just let me back in there, please, i'll get whatever you need out of him, but he needs to die!" your voice was getting louder, and you briefly wondered if your father could hear you. "his men are probably already on their way here. don't you get it? if i don't kill him now, he will get out."

the men in front of you were more shocked now than anything at the change in your demeanor. you had been coined the "second ghost" throughout the units, partly for the mask, but also because of your detachment. you were kind, but you always held logic above emotion.

in front of them now was nothing short of a nervous wreck.

despite not moving, you were frantic. you were wringing your hands together, pressed tight against your stomach. your eyes darted from side to side, person to person, between them and the door to makarov.

price took a step forward and you took a step back. he was slow, bringing his hand up as if he were approaching a wild animal. if he was still angry, he was hiding it now.

"come on, kid, let's just get out of 'ere, eh? go somewhere away from him," he said lowly. the other three men watched tensely, not moving, but their hands still close to their guns. just in case.

"no, no- just let me- price, you need to let me back in there!" you were a broken record, you knew it, but there was nothing else to say, nothing else you could think about. this was what you had been waiting for, you were right where you had wanted to be for the past- how many years now? how long has he tormented you for now?

you could feel your father's presence in the next room like bugs crawling across your body. it made your head feel fuzzy and your hands shake. was it from rage or fear? you couldn't tell, so you chose the rage.

it was like bile stuck in your throat, all the pain makarov had caused you finally being unearthed. you wanted to throw it all up and spit it out onto him, lay your organs and hatred alike out on the table in front of him so he could see the decay. you wanted him to rot from the inside out like you had.

your eyes glanced at the door one last time before focusing on price. he was watching you, just a couple of steps in front of you now.

"let me back in there, john." it was a whisper, but still the steadiest thing you had spoken since they had dragged you out.

"no." he said your name quietly, and you heard it as the plea it was, but you're head decided it was done listening.

your body threw itself at him, swinging underneath his arms and onto his back to try and get him on the ground. the room exploded into yelling, and multiple pairs of hands were on you in an instant, hauling you off of price and forcing you face-down onto the ground with your hands behind your back.

cold metal latching around your wrists didn't stop your screaming and kicking, lashing out at the air around you. it didn't work well, because you were being hauled back to your feet and pushed into a separate interrogation room.

whoever was carrying you didn't bother with trying to attach your handcuffs to the table, basically throwing you in and slamming the door shut before you could get back on your feet.

outside the cell, the four men stood in silent shock. what was there to say, where would they even start? would they really be able to hear each other over your muffled screams to let you out?

you didn't know how long you had been in there once the door finally opens again, but you had stopped screaming and struggling to get out of the room. you had sat down at the table, your hands folded in front of you on the cold surface. you stared down at the blood beading and smearing around the handcuffs.

kyle squeezed in through the tiny amount he'd let the door open before he shut it quickly, keeping his eyes on you. you didn't look up, your red eyes staying fixed on one point even as he slowly moved closer. he followed them to see the red rings underneath the steel, and a pang of guilt squeezed his heart tight.

he sat down across from you, folding his hands in front of him on the table, mirroring you. you still hadn't looked up at him, or done anything to acknowledge his presence; you hadn't even moved.

"are you alright?" kyle implored. he kept his voice soft, bending over a little to try to look you in the eye.

it took you a few moments to respond; he almost started to think you didn't hear him before you opened your mouth slowly.

"is he dead?" you croaked.

kyle let out an audible sigh while he leaned back in his seat, bringing his hands up to drag them down his face.

"no, we still need him. you know that."

you didn't say anything after that.

after sitting in silence for two full minutes, he spoke up. "you realize not telling us about this makes you look really bad, yeah?"

"you don't trust me anymore?" you whispered it, like you didn't want him to hear and answer. you knew what he would say.

"you aren't making it very easy."

kyle wanted to trust you still. part of him was angry and confused as to why you had kept something like this from them. the other part, the bigger part of him, knew that you were on still on the same side of it all. and he knew the other three men felt the same, but they couldn't just dismiss this.

"we can work this out, ya' know. you just have to be honest with us," he added after you once again stayed silent.

"be honest?" you echoed. you finally looked up at him. "about what? you heard me. makarov is my father. i want him dead. that's all there is to say."

kyle took his turn to not speak, weighing your words, figuring out where to go from there.

"why didn't you tell us?" he finally asked.

you looked back down at your wrists. "if i had told you i was makarov's daughter before i joined the team, then all i would have ever been is makarov's daughter." you paused to take a deep, shaky breath. it was uncomfortable with your mask still on, wet with tears, but you refused to take it off, to give away the last piece of your identity that was still yours at the moment.

"it's something we should have known," he contended quickly. "we could have used the information you have-"

you cut him off, your eyes snapping back up to glare daggers at him. "you think i know anything more than you?" you barked. something between a laugh and a sob escaped your throat before you could continue. "i was eight years old the last time i saw him in person. i was raised by live-in nannies. he only visited, what, maybe twice a year? and i don't know why he even bothered, either."

your hands were clenched into tight fists, and the same sting that circled your wrists was appearing in your palms. you kept going though; you didn't know if you could stop now.

"every time i get somewhere, every time i start making a life for myself again, he fucks it all up. never showed his damn face, but it was him, it was always-" you finally cut yourself off, not wanting to drag more memories out from the dark.

"makarov may be my father, but i am not his daughter. i swear, kyle, i fucking swear it." you were pleading with him to believe you now. you needed them to understand.

you could see it in the way his eyebrows creased that he wanted to take your words as the truth. but he didn't say anything (what could he have said?).

the door opened once again, and price half-entered the room to wave kyle back out. he avoided your gaze, something he'd never done before. then you were alone again.

#call of duty #modern warfare 2 #cod mwii #task force 141 #simon ghost riley #simon riley #ghost #simon riley x reader #ghost x reader #john soap mactavish #john mactavish #soap #john mactavish x reader #soap x reader #kyle gaz garrick #gaz #kyle garrick x reader #gaz x reader #john price #john price x reader #female reader #platonic #angst #fanfiction #— lilly writes! ♡

[nipuni]

Some various lighthearted life updates 🏃‍♀️

It's been a very busy last few months! in a good way mostly. We had a friend visiting us from overseas so we showed him around the city and took him to all our favourite places. We also met new people and were invited to a bunch of events so it's been very fun! We are all out of social battery tho so now we are slowing down a bit and getting back to work. Nicolas is on a short work trip to Berlin and I'm back to painting. We also started running! aaand we are also back to watching a bunch of shows and to me talking about it here to like five people 😌

Under the cut cause it's a lot as usual!

We finished watching S13 of Doctor Who! (we still have the specials to go but after that we are all caught up!) I haven't updated in ages so here are lot of opinions!

We really did not enjoy S11 😞 I was aware it wasn't very popular but we were hoping it was for all the wrong reasons, sadly we found many to be valid. Some of the episodes were baffling, Rosa? Kerblam?! the writing of the whole season in general felt like a rushed school assignment. The first part of Spyfall was a strong start for the next season but that ending in the second part was really not it. We did love Sacha Dhawan's Master tho!! and we really love Jodie too, 13th is adorable and reminded us of Ten at times! Jodie is such a fantastic actress that it makes the quality of the writing and everything else around her even more frustrating 😫 S12 was an improvement in general. In the last few episodes It felt like the writing team suddenly remembered the companions could have a personality and agency lmao. Highlights for us were Spyfall one, Fugitive of the Judoon and Haunting of villa Diodati, tho we did also enjoy most other episodes of the season despite their issues.

The timeless child plot reveal felt a bit underwhelming? The idea on itself has potential but it felt mishandled (and it had a bit of a Moffat flavour to it? and not in a good way). I think it was meant to add more depth to the Doctor's lore but in a way it ends up having the opposite effect. Then the flux was just a complete mess. It read like a Marvel sort of plot, very comic book like which is alright I suppose if that is something you enjoy but it felt out of place. But mostly it was just way too much, it got out of hand. Anyway we still have the specials to watch! and I think the Master is in them so we are looking forward to it 🥰

We also watched Broadchurch!! and we LOVED it. We ended up binging all three seasons. Chibnall's writing on this is surprisingly great and Jodie's acting is spectacular she really shines here. Olivia and David are always brilliant!! honestly everyone's acting was amazing. This series had us both tearing up every five scenes. The direction and the music are outstanding. I could watch Hardy and Miller solve crimes forever I really love their chemistry and dynamic. We went into it expecting the usual detective fiction but it ended up being a whole study on grief with such a focus on family and community and trauma and a ton of touching interconnected character arcs, just really really good!!

Then we also watched Taking over the Asylum!! MAN we were not expecting to have our hearts wrung out like laundry by this!! We thought it was a lighthearted show!! GOD we are still not over it, what the fuck!! It was so good we loved it!! but we were not prepared lmao what do you mean 'the end'?? we'll be thinking of this for months, I was expecting an extra scene after the credits or something. Excellent characters, refreshing depictions of mental illness and trauma and so crushingly realistic. Every character is so loveable I really wish this was longer 😭

And our quest to watch everything with David Tennant on it continues. We watched Decoy Bride on Valentines day too and it was terrible but such a hilarious fever dream kind of bad that it was fun, it has David on it and he never disappoints. I feel so lucky that Nicolas and I are both in love with him, get yourself a man who shares your celebrity crushes lmao it's so fun!! We feel like teens again chatting about him and drawing little hearts next to his pictures haha 🥰 We watched the BAFTAs just for him and speaking of the baftas!! I was not expecting that last drawing of his outfits to get that much attention oh my god 😭 thank you!! you are all insane and I appreciate it so much!! and thank you for all the support in general, about my art and photos and just everything. I feel very lucky and grateful 😭 anyway I'll end this before I get sappy, that is all for now! I hope this week is kind to you all, I'll be sharing some more art soon 😊

#personal #DW report #doctor who #broadchurch #taking over the asylum

[kakashixhatakesxwhore]

Most to least experienced in bed? Konoha 11 and whoever else you wanna add. Love your work 😩😩

alrighty, i switched this up a bit to avoid strange research, if you wanna see someone else/another group ranking, lmk - i hope this is up to code, and thank you for the request!!

Sex Tier List

Ranked: Konoha 11 (Naruto, Sakura, Shikamaru, Ino, Choji, Kiba, Shino, Hinata, Neji, Lee, Tenten) + Sand Siblings (Kankuro, Temari, Gaara) + Sasuke

Warnings: swearing, x(GN)reader implications, we are talking about sex, uh idk lmk if something makes you uncomfy

Notes: Boruto era for everyone, and, for everyone, their Bortuo era! this request had me fucked up lowk because, canonically, these mfs got zero action without rings - so we're putting an enjoyment spin on it, worst to best, in a modern-ish au. as in, who you would have to guide, vs, who could rock your world, five times over, in one night.

Masterlist💿

Tier 3 - Passable🪙

5. Hinata

I'm not even sorry. She deffo just lies there. Never gets on top. You have to ask for anything and everything, and not even in a sexy, teasing way, more in a 'I don't want to feel like I'm fucking a wooden board' way.

4. Kiba

May God love him because this man is certainly a selfish lover. That's not to say he isn't good - he's great at getting himself off, his brain just kinda shuts off otherwise. If you wanna cum, the onus is on you, because he's fuck-drunk within seconds of you touching him.

3. Kankuro

He's trying, okay?? It's just really fucking hard to keep you in mind when you just feel so fucking good. Kankuro's just inconsistent - that's the main issue. He'll try a million different positions in one session and is always unintentionally edging you.

2. Lee

Now, our darling, Rock Lee, is trying his best, honestly and truly. However, he doesn't know anything about anything, and you have to guide him every now and again. He's got the enthusiasm down, he's just not very good at translating it into pure sexual energy on the fly.

1. Gaara

He's too busy to be good at sex. When he does find the time, y'all get extra down and dirty, but Gaara's still lowkey inexperienced and the irregularity of your encounters doesn't help.

Tier 2 - Good🪩

5. Choji

Bro's got hidden talents, aight? It's a matter of him wanting to utilize them that sets Choji up. Most nights, he's chilling, but on those key few nights, hot damn.

4. Sasuke

I would've put him lower but y'all would've been mad - it's called REALISM. Sasuke would be wayyyyy too busy to put in the work to develop any actual skill in the bedroom, and he would find researching for it so far past disgusting. His good grace would be his natural endowment and prowess, but he's on thin fucking ice.

3. Tenten

Surprisingly stone top vibes, I cannot lie. She deffo gets off on your pleasure, but she's down here because she's kinda bad at first. There would totally be improvement, like obvious and quick improvement, but those first few times were pretty rough.

2. Shino

Baby boy. Sweet boy. Ugh. I love. I wanted him as number one, so I'm not even defending this. Take it up with my lawyer.

1. Naruto

He's not the main character for nothing. Naruto lays pipe, but he can get a bit selfish at times. Never fear though, the second he catches himself, lost in the sauce, another round gets added to his itinerary. He'll be making it up to you tenfold, even if it was just for a minute.

Tier 1 - Fantastic🔮

5. Sakura

With her level of anatomical knowledge, she barely even needs to break a sweat to give you a release. However, she will break a sweat, because she wants to. Just amazing, idk what to tell you.

4. Temari

Got me kickin my feet and twirlin my hair rn - she would be so GODLY in the sack. She's always very present, very attentive, but is so openly expressive in the moment. Temari would have you screaming syllables and seeing colours behind your eyelids.

🥉 Neji

The game my man's got is INSANE. I just know for a goddamn fact that no one dances the horizontal mambo as gracefully as Neji. You're pleased, he's pleased, no one's ever terribly tired or bruised, the limits are clear lines but are never even toed. That's just the reg, too! Special nights would be fucking wild, dude would have wine, and flowers, and candles - he would go the whole nine yards every time.

🥈 Ino

Be still, my beating heart. Christ. Yeah, Ino's got this shit on lock. She's a vers switch, need I say more? (I do, someone request a fic)

🥇 SHIKAMARU

Y'all seen my preferance yet, or nah?

Oh Em Gee - Shikamaru could have you, heels to Jesus, all night longgggg. The stamina, the will, the knowledge, the capability; it's all there, and no one is as apt to put it all together except for Shikamaru. He would go for hours at a time, until he physically couldn't anymore. He would know exactly what makes your timebomb tick, and he would push every button so deliciously. Fuck, he's a tease too. If you two aren't actively in the bedroom, he's trying to get you there.

#konoha 11 #konoha eleven #sand siblings #uzumaki naruto #naruto uzumaki #akimichi choji #choji akimichi #hinata hyuga #hyuga hinata #ino yamanaka #yamanaka ino #kiba inuzuka #inuzuka kiba #hyuga neji #neji hyuga #sakura haruno #haruno sakura #shino aburame #aburame shino #shikamaru nara #nara shikamaru #rock lee #rock lee naruto #tenten #uchiha sasuke #sasuke uchiha #kankuro #kankuro of the sand #gaara #gaara of the sand

[milgram-tournament]

MILGRAM Best Song Tournament, Round 1, Match 4 HALF vs. MAGIC

Propaganda for both options under the cut!

Propaganda for HALF:

kazui may just be an old gay man but HE CAN SING.

its. literally stunning.

like aside from his character and everything else, half is just really really beautifully written

THE INSTRUMENTALS.

HIS V O I C E??? its so pretty

heartbreaking lyrics. i dont love kazui as a character but i have bawled to half

GAY RIGHTS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Love amane but she will undoubtedly win when her purge march poll rolls around, so lets let the old man have a win shall we?

---

half propaganda let's goooo sorry i'm sobern't in true kazui style so this probably won't make a bit of sense

theatre kid man. i love him, incredible mv.

this song is pure ASMR to me

visually aligned with Cat and it's so lovely to see that continuity

the GRAINY MOVIE DOTS THING ON THE MV <3

kazui is so dramatic. i love him i love him

dapper gentleman. such clothes

the key change is so well done

AND THE . THE PART WITH THE. THE ENDING SORT OF LYRICS OVERLAID WITH SPEAKING. and then his quieter singing and, and, and o h my god. im sorry. im not very coherent abt this rn

every part of the song is amazing but once it gets to the key change and after it keeps stepping up the amount of being perfect

kazui is in it

um

kazui is in it

go my psionic warriors vote for everyone's favourite failhusband

no children were tortured in the making of this MV (cough looking at You magic)

---

Allow me to present my Half propaganda!

- The slower tempo adds a very relaxing feeling to the song. Kinda ironic, but I like it! It sort of reminds of old indie songs from 2012 (especially with what I think is whistling added in the instrumental in-between chorus and verses.)

- Kazui’s voice. Enough said.

- It’s very easy to listen to, and I find it’s one of the only songs from Milgram that I like to listen to out of context (besides After Pain, Backdraft, and Purge March, oddly enough.)

- The MV is rife with imagery, and is used to beautiful effect. It really makes you feel for Kazui and his situation.

- The scene with him and Hinako before the key change… that makes me so emo.

- The overlapping part at the end… the lyrics combined with the dialogue in the background makes me really sad in a way I can’t explain.

Propaganda for MAGIC:

MAGIC MY BELOVED MAGIC!!! Its one of the best MVs in the entire series, even including T2. Magic is visually stunning and has some fantastic art direction but also is very clever in how it conveys its themes and ideas. Magic doesn't really hide anything from you, not really. It's all symbolic but it Tells You Things. It shows you the abuse, it shows you the cat. There's a fun little relationship going on here where, In Magic. Amane's pain and suffering isn't taken seriously by the people around her and the Audience we are discouraged to take it at face value due to the fictionalized nature of Magic. It's so cool. I'm so fond of the song as well, it's one of the best in the series purely cause of the Layers in it. The implications of this Inability to be good is seeped into Magic. Amane knows this isn't reality, Magic knows it's a show, she watches it at the end. And it's so Sad to me that even in her fictionalized happy world she Cannot be a good girl. It's a standard completely out of reach for her and that idea is just conveyed so well visually.

Im not even talking about the goddamn cat yet- the cat symbolism goes Deep. That cat is HER it has the same wounds Amane has in Purge March. I- I cant talk about the intertextuality of Purge March and Magic here this is Magic propaganda only- I- there's so much good stuff to Magic. I Re watched it over and over again. It has some the Best Writing and Visual Communication in Milgram and I will Die on this Hill.

---

shoutout to magic for having pretty props AND being vague as fuck about the crime! diversity win!

seriously though amane looks SO cute in it! the mv has such a pretty and colorful style and even with that it's able to show the horrors of what amane went through.

adding onto my last point. that scene where the cat is hyperventilating and you see the camera shaking???? that scene where the mascots find amane helping the cat and they're all standing over her? CHILLS. im repeating myself but the fact that they were able to portray the awful things amane went through in a genuinely emotional way while still keeping the cute cartoon look is soo impressive

there are SO many layers to itill the entire cartoony style making it look like a tv show… utilizing the cartoony effects and bright colors to show amane downplaying her own pain… the transformation after she gets punished barely changing anything to show just how manipulated she was from the start… ueueueue

ALSO ALSO ALSO THE SCENE AT THE END WITH AMANE STARING AT THE SCENE? OHHH ITS SO GOOD it adds such a feeling of dread and reminds you on top of this whole thing that all of this is truly horrifying! something is going on here!

this song is so catchy it gets stuck in my head CONSTANTLY

"Dear wise one, Am I worthy? Is it ok to spoil myself?" AMANE... UEUEUUEUE

the little ding sound effects in the instrumental?????

amanes voice is ADORABLE

THE INSTRUMENTAL IN THAT PART WHERE SHES HELPING THE CAT HAS THAT GODLY TYPE SOUND YOUD TYPICALLY ASSOCIATE WITH CHURCHES AND STUFF AND I DONT KNOW HOW TO EXPLAIN IT PROPERLY BUT JUST RELISTEN TO IT AND YOU WILL KNOW WHAT I MEAN. ITS SUCH A NEAT DETAIL

i could go on about this mv for days but i am not a theorist unfortunately. just. magic sweep

#milgram #milgramtournament #mukuhara kazui #amane momose

[sergeant-angels-trashcan]

He knows this town, but Kate has spent the last five years navigating unfamiliar terrain and she finally pulls even with him, spots a break in the crowd, and launches herself at him.

They skid into the middle of the street, Robbie already with his hands up in surrender. "Woah, woah woah, Hawkeye, what the fuck?"

"What the fuck me, what the fuck you, Reyes?" She's sitting on him, dirt in her mouth. "Seriously, what the fuck?"

"The fuck did you chase me for?"

There's a crowd around them now and Kate is aware this is a very bad look for her. "The fuck did you run for, jackass? Were you just going to let someone fucking shoot Clint?"

"They wouldn't have shot him."

Kate leans away from him and tries to spit the dirt out of her mouth. "Oh, shit, you're bleeding, dude. Sorry."

He jerks his chin towards her. "Think I elbowed you in the face."

"Yeah, well, what else is new. So what gives?"

"Did it occur to you I might have a reason for not wanting you shouting my name across town?"

"Yeah. It did. And instead of explaining that like a normal person you ran like a bitch. So I decided your reason was probably stupid and I didn't care."

Robbie lets his head fall back to the ground, which is a shame, his hair is looking pretty fantastic and he's getting it all dirty. He covers his face with his hands like if he can't see her, her logic won't make sense. "Why are you like this?"

"Why are you like this?" She retorts. "Anyway, I just hit you with me, not a car, so be grateful."

"It was an accident!"

"I know! It still hurt!"

"Oh, what, like this didn't? Jesus, Hawkeye, I think you mighta broken a rib."

"Oh my god you whiny baby! Person impacting person is different than person impacting car!"

"Is there a problem here?" It's one of those friendly, pillar-of-the-community voices, the kind that clearly knows there's a problem but is nice enough to give you thirty extra seconds to scramble for a bullshit answer. The speaker is also, frankly, one of the most beautiful women Kate has seen in her life, her skin a rich brown that's also golden and the most perfect lips that Kate is not staring at.

"I think we're sorting it out, thank you though." Kate gives her a winning smile and extends a hand. "Kate Bishop, by the way--"

"God," Robbie says into his hands. "Please don't hit on my wife."

"Your what?" Kate is trying to picture it. Flaming skull. Married. She can't.

"Everything okay here, Tommy?" A new voice joins in. This is a Texas-tipped drawl from a man who, while not quite on the level as Robbie's wife, what the fuck, is also pretty damn attractive. Whatever they're doing in this place must be working. So Kate's distracted by the scruff and the gun pointed at her, which, honestly, less interesting than the scruff, so it takes a moment for the words to sink in.

"Who the fuck is Tommy--" she looks down at Robbie. "Please tell me that's a fucking joke, loser."

He finally stops hiding behind his hands. "Loser?"

"I'm tired, okay, the pithy one-liners just aren't coming. Also, you may not have noticed this, but I am being held at gunpoint by a ruggedly handsome man, which is distracting."

Robbie rolls his head back to see who she's talking about and sighs. "Please don't hit on my brother, either."

"Your what."

Kate gives it up as a bad job, just rolls over to the side so she's laying next to Robbie in the middle of the street. "So was this like, Russian nesting dolls of secret identities? Did you see I wasn't really using mine so you figured you'd have two? Was that it?" She asks in an undertone. "Also is your name really fucking Tommy?"

"Yes, my name is actually Tommy."

"My whole life is a lie."

He sits up at that. "I hit you with a car when you were eighteen and that is what is giving you an existential crisis? Girl," he shakes his head at her. "You got problems."

"Yeah, no shit, you think?"

"You hit her with a car?" Big brother intersects.

"It was a kind of falling-hitting situation," Robbie explains.

"He drove me to the hospital," Kate adds.

"The car was fine," Robbie finishes, and Kate's view is distorted because of the angle but she can see the absolutely horrified looks Bro and Wife are giving him and she laughs so hard she can't breathe.

"To be fair," she wheezes, "it was a pretty cool car."

"That doesn't really make it better," Wife points out.

"It does when you're a teenager," Robbie-Tommy says, getting to his feet and offering Kate a hand. She lets him take all of her weight, because he deserves it. "And it was just the once."

He waits til she's steady on her feet. "It was not just the once."

He drops her hands. "What?"

"The alleyway, the pier, below Tony Stark's house, and--that time in the desert!" She smacks his shoulder.

"Desert doesn't count, you'd been buried."

#kate bishop #hawkeye #tommy miller #robbie reyes #ghost rider #cause gabriel luna played robbie in agents of shield amd yall know im WEAK for this #my stuff #from the depths of the drafts #i mean its not doing anything in there may as well let it be free

[kandisheek]

FIC REC WEEK 20 - 616

AUTHOR SPOTLIGHT: Sineala

One of the things I love most about Sineala's writing - other than the general brilliance of it - is how much work she puts into tying her fics into canon. I feel like most of what I know about Marvel Comics I learned by reading the helpful notes she adds to her works, explaining which volumes and arcs each canon element is from. Aside from that, Sineala is one of the best writers in the fandom (in my opinion, but honestly, it's just a fact), and I love everything she's ever written. I've recommended a bunch of her stuff this year already, but honestly, you should just read her entire AO3 catalogue.

Here's some of her work that I think you should check out:

Every Now and Then I Fall Apart

Pairing: Steve/Tony Rating: T Words: 6,000 Tags: Truth Spells, Chronic Pain, Secrets

Summary: When Tony gets hit by a truth spell, the consequences aren't what anyone expected. They're sure not what Tony expected. He wishes he could stop telling his teammates about all the medical problems he tries to hide. As long as he doesn't open his mouth and reveal his secret feelings for Steve, or all his secret inadequacies as a human being, though, everything's going to be fine. And Tony's good at keeping secrets... or so he thinks. But maybe Steve knows him better than he knows himself. And just because Tony believes something, that doesn't make it the truth.

Reasons why I love it: I'm always down for a truth serum fic, and this one is absolutely lovely. Tony being a fan of Total Eclipse of the Heart makes me unreasonably happy, and I love how angsty his accidental confessions are. And of course, the Stony in this is wonderful. I love this fic so much, please go and read it!

Down to Zero

Pairing: Steve/Tony Rating: T Words: 18,336 Tags: Temporary Amnesia, Extremis, Hurt/Comfort

Summary: After a battle against the Controller goes awry, Steve is bewildered and guilt-ridden when Tony begins to treat him exactly the same as he treats everyone else.

Reasons why I love it: Holy fuck, this fic is good. I love how guilty Steve feels about taking Tony for granted, and how he immediately knows that something is wrong with him, even when nobody else does. The resolution, once Tony gets his memories back, is fantastic and always puts a smile on my face. I adore this fic, and if you haven't read it yet, you absolutely have to!

Trust Fall

Pairing: Steve/Tony Rating: E Words: 39,107 Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Love Confessions, Coming in Pants

Summary: Tony needs someone who cares about him, bandages, a jacket, ibuprofen, dinner, a lasting romantic relationship, a nice time in bed, and assistance committing federal crimes. He gets them. In that order.

Reasons why I love it: Aaaah, give me all the feels!!! The hurt/comfort is incredible. Steve is so caring, and I want to wrap Tony up in blankets. And oh my god, the smut! It's everything I never knew I needed. This fic was an instant favorite for me, and I've probably read it twenty times since it came out. So yeah, if you haven't read it yet, please go and do that now, you won't regret it!

The Fall and the Rise

Pairing: Steve/Tony Rating: T Words: 5,148 Tags: Fix-it, De-Serumed Steve, End of the World

Summary: After the Great Society incursion, the Illuminati refuse to destroy another world. When the next incursion looms, they go to await their deaths in peace. Tony ends up on the doorstep of the last man who ever wanted to see him. At least he's going to die at Steve's side.

Reasons why I love it: This one HURTS, but in a really hopeful way, if that makes sense? The angst is superb, and I love how the bitterness can't quite overshadow the affection they still have for each other. This fic stuck with me for a long time after I read it, so I hope you go and experience it for yourself.

And in Your Head It's Worse

Pairing: Steve/Tony Rating: E Words: 30,204 Tags: BDSM, Scene Gone Wrong, Aftercare

Summary: Tonight is Steve and Tony's anniversary. And since they have the night off, it's the perfect time for Steve to tie Tony to the bed and drive him out of his mind, until Tony can barely remember his own name. It is definitely not the perfect time for Ghost to attack Stark Tower.

Reasons why I love it: This fic explores subspace and especially subdrop in a really compelling way. I love how Sine created the perfect awful situation for Steve and Tony to be in, only to fix it with the fluffiest fluff to ever fluff. It's lovely, and cements its status as one of my all-time favorite comfort fics. I love it so much, and I bet you will too!

#marvel #stony #fanfic #ficrec #fic rec #a year in fanfic recs #earth 616 #fanfic rec

[anderscim]

Big fan !!! I have been reading. A lot of your things they make me smile.

may I ask for your thoughts on rose and eden because I think they’re the top sanest despair time characters . which is. which is pretty fucked up considering eden’s has at least two girls she had crushes on DIE and rose is. i can talk about rose for hours. love her but also she suffers from nightmares and is constantly haunted because she never ever forgets. but like also those two are probably the most normal characters despite that because everyone else minus whit has at least one fucked up little sprite… and I know the definition of normal is vague I do think they’ve got something going on but also they haven’t totally lost their marbles with a breakdown sprite yet so that’s something .

first of all, thank you so much for the compliment! i’m honored that you enjoy my miscellaneous musings (^^)

and thank you so much for the ask! i’m writing this as i’m on a road trip, so this may be a bit disorganized—sorry about that. i might add specific details in a future reblog.

either way, let’s just get right to it!

//spoilers for drdt up to chapter 2 part 1

okay, let’s talk about eden first:

first off, eden is a fantastic character and i really like the direction the dev is taking with her. there’s just so many components that develop eden past the “naive and optimistic” trope i see very often in many series—for example, like the fact that she specifically chooses to be kind, despite everything that occurs.

i think we all know that eden’s been getting the short end of the stick in terms of her relationships with others. arei and min both died, two people she was incredibly close to, and we see in the series that she is still very affected by this. and yet, she still decides to open up and trust others even if it means experiencing grief because of it.

and this may be me reading too much into this quote, but i find it interesting how she doesn’t seem to assume that the killings will stop immediately—rather, i think she is aware that people will still die despite her efforts (which is honestly what happened in the first chapter), and that the world isn’t as forgiving as to just make everyone get together and live in peace in a situation like this. but yet, through expressing the grief that comes through that loss and opening up with their emotions, she believes that they can work things out over time.

this is partly why she’s so open and willing to trust other people, despite the consequences that it may bring in a setting like this.

what i find the most interesting though, is eden’s narrative role as a direct foil to teruko.  as we already know, teruko was essentially backstabbed by xander, min, and everyone else in the cast during chapter 1–which is exactly what caused her to close up and decide not to trust anyone anymore.

however, that’s not the only thing there is to it. the other main reason that teruko blocks herself from developing a good relationship with anyone else in the cast is not just because she doesn’t want to be betrayed, but also because she doesn’t want to deal with the grief of having someone she’s close to die in front of her eyes.

i personally think that’s what makes eden a powerful foil to teruko. she trusts and stays by teruko the entire time, even when she’s being accused during the trial—but not only that, eden is willing to open up and clearly express her grief and other emotions to those around her.

so yeah, despite the number of scarily convincing ch2 culprit theories about eden, i personally don’t see her dying until very late into the series (and likely after teruko goes through significant character development). eden is almost like the “opposing message” to teruko’s self-destructive thought process and behaviors, so i feel like it would only go downhill if she dies at this point. (sorry this is somewhat short. i will likely add more to this later)

okay, now for rose:

i know i literally never talk about her, but rose is actually my favorite character. i feel like her overall concept is really interesting—she’s literally a criminal (/lh), has photographic memory (which is both a strength and a source of trauma for her), has a wide range of knowledge, but is also absentminded and always sleepy (just like me fr). (her backstory is also very sad—and what would basically be one of my biggest nightmares, to be honest. her conversation with teruko when she was talking about that… ough.) rose’s personality combines many different factors together, but in a way that makes a lot of sense when you look at her from an outside perspective.

i’ve always personally seen her absent-mindedness as a way of coping—especially with her photographic memory. she essentially can’t forget anything, even if she wants to; which obviously, includes the memories of her classmates’ deaths.

which is why i personally feel this cutscene shows a lot about her character:

her body language is closed off and she’s burying her head in her knees, so she can’t see anything—which on its own is a very nice detail. rose has said before that she only remembers memories and information if she sees them (i think? sorry if she didn’t say this), so by blocking her vision and preventing herself from seeing the corpse and any part of the investigation, it really goes to show that rose doesn’t want to remember what happened. after all, if she doesn’t see anything, it makes it easier for her to forget. this matches up perfectly with her dialogue here. her photographic memory haunts her in some ways, and she would really not want to remember arei’s death in the way she remembered xander’s and min’s.

but at the same time, rose’s way of coping through absent-mindedness, as well as her general behavior, could potentially lead to her downfall. after all, that’s exactly what allowed nico to steal the turpentine from her (given that it actually happened). for rose, her lack of attentiveness is almost a coping mechanism for her inability to forget—and even though she doesn’t want to remember and keep everything in her mind forever, doing the exact opposite of that led her to a situation she probably regrets. and, though rose likely doesn’t remember nico stealing the turpentine from her, she sure as hell remembers teruko telling her about it.

i feel like a lot of other things—such as her extensive knowledge and attention to detail—can be attributed to her photographic memory, but her absent-mindedness despite that is what really makes her character come full circle. rose is attentive and is actually a great source to rely on when it comes to information and certain details—as long as she remembers them. however, her memory could also prove to be a downfall, as she remembers everything—including things that would traumatize her and continue to haunt her. but in trying to cope by staying inattentive, she ended up being exploited—which makes me wonder how she’ll act after this trial. she might try to remember and see herself stuck in the same loop again. or do something entirely different. it’s a very interesting cycle, all things considered.

sorry this took so long. m(_ _)m this is pretty disorganized so i might have to adjust some parts of it later, but for now, this is all i have.

thank you again for the ask!

#bagel’s asks #bagel’s train of thought #drdt #danganronpa despair time #despair time #fangan #fanganronpa #eden tobisa #teruko tawaki #(brief mention) #rose lacroix

[tyxoxo]

One Night Only - II.

ch. 1 , ch. 3, m.list

Jeno x fem!reader series

Genre: slow burn, fuckboy!jeno, enemies to lovers/hate fucking fwb! bookstore jeno → model jeno au, 00’ dream + mark + jun (seventeen) character inserts

Words: 3.1k

(future) Warnings: pure filth, jeno is mean, cocky, stubborn, this relationship is extremely toxic (i dont condone, this is pure fiction), unprotected sex, choking, slapping, degrading, spitting, dumbification, dacryphilia, oral (f and m receiving), cum play, envy, mdni!

a/n: idk if its just me but this feels rushed im all about the smutty smut ㅠㅠ

Chapter 2

“Uhm…excuse me?” Mark’s frenzied voice pierced through your ears. You had only just met him a week prior during your interview but nothing could have prepared you for underestimating his authority. It made you feel better knowing that even though he wasn’t red-blooded like this asshole who seemed repulsed by your presence, atleast he stood up for you.

You heard the words: “Fucking fantastic…”

It immediately made you feel nauseous. You were just about to bow from being introduced but once he opened his mouth, a siren rang in your brain. He was ugly on the inside, you knew that now.

There was an awkward silence that followed, causing your hands to sweat profusely. You would just have to hang your head in shame.

You weren’t sure what was said next as your mind was still whirling from the last 2-minutes. Your eyes widened when you noticed a pair of shoes step into your view. You raised your head slowly, hoping it wasn’t who you thought it was. You glanced at his name tag handwritten in an untidy fashion: “Renjun :)”

You exhaled in relief.

“Hello, my name is Renjun. I hope you enjoy your time working with us.” His voice was so gentle, so calming. He bowed in front of you to which you returned the gesture.

“Thank you.” Your voice was shaky but you needed to hold it together for the sake of your first day.

“Mark, is it okay if I show her around? I don’t mind.” Renjun looked over to his manager who was standing tongue-in-cheek; obviously bothered by his ill-mannered employee.

“That would be great actually. While you do that, I’ll have a talk with Jeno…excuse us. Also Jun can you take over the register for a minute?” Mark bowed to you before motioning his head towards Jeno. An usual name to go with an usual attitude.

“Okay, so let’s start with the back of the store!” Renjun began leading the way while Jeno, Mark, and Jun walked off together towards the front. You followed closely behind, hoping Renjun could explain what his coworker’s problem was.

“So in the back is where we have our round tables for people to sit down, read, study, etcetera. Mark is hoping in the next year or so to add a small computer lab for those that don’t have their own laptops. Over in the corner is our storage room. This is where we keep deliveries, packages, mail, cleaning supplies.”

You nodded at every detail he provided, all the while appreciating his enthusiasm. He seemed sweet.

“I can show you where our restroom is. It’s unisex but it has a lock which is nice.” The two of you walked to where it was situated next to the storage room.

“By the way, I am sorry about my friend Jeno. He’s having a rough day, not sure why.”

Something told you that he knew why, but it was best to not know.

“Yeah that was shitty. But I appreciate your concern.” You spoke freely, disregarding your formality.

“Any time. We’re all easy going here and Mark is super chill.”

Both of your heads swung towards the front when the doorbell chimed, signaling another walk-in.

“Around noon is when it starts to pick up but I can still show you everything else. Customers are usually self-sufficient here.”

“Sounds great. I’ll follow you.”

~

You had already formed your judgement of your 3 coworkers within the remaining 3 hours of your shift:

Renjun was welcoming.

Jun was approachable.

Jeno was a dick.

It was that simple.

You had no choice but to follow them around to learn the odds and ends of your new job. But every question you asked Renjun or Jun, Jeno had some sly remark or smack of his lips. Even if it was under his breath, you could still hear him clearly.

It was starting to get unbearable. How could Mark hire someone like him?

“So like this, right?” You asked while holding up index cards that you just laminated. Mark had given everyone the duty of picking their top 3 favorite books, and writing a reason why the customer should give it a read. You agreed that handwritten recommendations were an endearing way to get people’s attention.

You were curious if Jeno actually even read in his free time. He didn’t seem like the type.

“Yeah it looks good! All you need now is the double sided tape so you can attach them to the shelves.” Renjun said as he was laminating his own index cards. Of course, the roll of tape was nearest to Jeno who was 3 seats away, writing his own notes.

It was such a shame that he had such nice handwriting. You didn’t want to admit it.

“Jeno, can you pass me the tape please?” You asked while gathering your cards. It was now a test of how immature he could possibly be…over a roll of tape.

There was no movement. He kept writing, with his dip pen bleeding through the card from his heavy hand.

“Jeno.”

The way his name sounded on your lips somewhat disgusted you. Now was not the time for him to play childish.

“Didn’t hear you.” He spoke curtly, tossing the roll into your chest without even looking up from the table.

“Bullshit.”

All he could do was sneer at your comment. Jun walked to your side and helped rip off a few pieces.

“Thanks.”

“No problem. Good choices of books by the way. Jeno over there just looks up book summaries online.” Jun’s smile made your mood lighten up a bit. It felt nice to get some back up from him and Renjun.

“How’s it going over here so far?” Mark appeared next to you after closing the register for the day.

“Good. I just finished putting my cards on the shelves. My penmanship isn’t the best so hopefully it’s readable.” You said while gathering the blank index cards to put back in the holder.

“I’m sure it’s fine! How about you guys head out a bit early and enjoy the rest of your weekend. Remember, 11am Monday!”

Jeno caused a loud screech from pushing back his chair and walking briskly towards the exit, not even bothering to say goodbye. Renjun followed behind, having already cleaned up Jeno’s mess within a few seconds.

“Nice meeting you!” Renjun turned his back and waved at you, tripping over the door frame and into Jeno’s back in the process. From what you could see, Jeno barely budged from Renjun’s clumsiness.

~

It felt so discouraging to know that your first day at work would’ve gone fine if it wasn’t for Jeno.

You decided to let it go, there was no use in dwelling on it. You were off tomorrow and that was enough to put you back in good spirits.

Plus, Monday could be better, right?

You were dead wrong. Mark sent texts out to everyone stating that he would be out sick from a cold. Luckily, Renjun was already entrusted with a spare key for situations like this.

Sadly, this also meant it gave Jeno free reign to say what he wanted. He was a shallow pool with few surprises.

“What happened to biting me back?” Jeno glanced over at you with a smirk as the two of you reorganized the shelves. He had already rolled his eyes a few times at your lack of coordination, disregarding the fact that it was only your second day.

At first you didn’t even want to respond but it was only 12pm and there was going to be some point that you had to acknowledge his existence. Considering he seemed less brash today, you could maybe see yourself holding a civil conversation with him.

“What do you mean?”

You kept your eyes forward, scanning for the next book to place in alphabetical order.

“You were tough shit on Saturday. Why so quiet now? I was having fun.”

You couldn't help but contort your face into a dumbfounded expression. He was having fun? What, being an ass?

“I was just sticking up for myself, but now I’m just going to ignore you. You’re not worth my time.”

“I am worth every bit of your time, it’s just up to you to deal with it.” He stepped closer to you but as luck would have it, you were done with your share of organizing the books.

It took everything you had to not say a quick “fuck you.” You just knew he would have a conceited response. If this was his attempt at flirting, this was going to be miserable no matter how attractive he was.

You left Jeno alone in the aisle and walked up to a customer that was searching for assistance.

Unbeknownst to you, Jeno snarled behind your back. You were every bit of plain to him, but the fact that you weren’t giving him the attention he wanted, faced him with a challenge. He wanted to see just how easy he could make a second-rate girl crumble beneath him.

~

“I’m gonna go eat and when I’m done, I'll take over the register.” Jeno said to Renjun as he placed his nametag in his pocket and walked out the door. Ordering from a restaurant would’ve taken too much time out of his break so he opted for a lunch box at the nearest convenience store. He didn’t have as big of an appetite today so he would just let Renjun have the rest.

He still had so much left to go on his shift. Another 5 hours of dealing with annoying customers, and a bitch that seemed too entitled. He felt like a prisoner. You never had anything remarkable to say but Jun and Renjun seemed to think you were magnetic. You never really talked at all. It felt unnatural of him to actually recall your name. It made him shudder at the thought.

As soon as he sat down in the outdoor benches placed near the store, his phone buzzed. It couldn’t have been a new hookup, he’d been shit out of luck for the past week.

2:05pm

[jaemin]: how’s the new girl, is she hot? 👀👀

[jeno]: pfft, no

[haechan]: whats her ig? i wanna see

[jeno]: idk and i don’t even think it’s worth knowing honestly

[jaemin]: let me guess, nono’s mad that she’s not paying attention to him 😈

[haechan]: yeah she’s not easy is she

[jeno]: nope

[haechan]: then she’s definitely hot, i need to meet her

[jeno]: fuck off, i’m trying to eat lunch

Jeno chewed with such grimace, upset at the fact his friends saw right through him. The food wasn’t that tasty either but at least it was cheap.

To Jeno’s dismay, his lunch break was going to be over soon. He huffed in annoyance while sealing the box and placing it back in the plastic bag. Atleast he could enjoy the fresh air once more while he walked. By the time his shift was over, it was going to be glum and dark.

~

“Do you want this? I wasn’t that hungry.” Jeno asked as he swung the bag over the counter, not even caring that it could’ve spilled.

“Yeah, I’ll be back. I think I'd rather have Jun at the register instead of you though.” Renjun teased as he stepped down and walked around towards the exit with his lunch in hand, the two of them switching places.

“Shut the fuck up.” Jeno actually smiled for once. Renjun mentally noted that fact.

“I am in charge y’know?” Renjun exited and began walking the same route that Jeno took, most likely going to the same benches situated at the convenience store.

Jeno immediately scanned the store for you. With it not being busy for a Monday, he found you with ease; crouched down, dusting the bottom bookshelves in the science-fiction section.

“Hey dude you okay?”

Jeno hadn’t even noticed that Jun walked up the counter, hunched over with a paper plane in his hands.

“Yeah, why?” Jeno immediately took his eyes from your backside and directed his attention to Jun.

“You’ve been looking a little mad lately.”

“Yeah, no shit.”

“What did she even do to you? Go fuck someone and get over it.” Jun was just as aware as Haechan and Jaemin.

“Whatever.” Jeno scoffed before looking down at the register, using the stylus to scribble nonsense on the screen. He didn’t appreciate being an open book.

Jun remained slouched over the counter without adding on to the conversation. During the silence, Jeno thought of an idea.

“Hey, can you take over for a minute?” Jeno asked as he slammed his palm on the counter to get his attention.

“What are you about to do?” Jun’s eyes followed Jeno as he walked around to the outside of the counter with a smug grin on his face.

Jeno ignored his question. He would be able to see perfectly from his position at the register.

You were still dusting the bottom bookshelf when you felt a presence behind you. Assuming it was just a customer, you continued swiping the wand across the mahogany shelf.

But the smell of a familiar cologne entered your nose and you recognized it as Jeno’s.

As soon as you turned your head to the left, you were met with his groin perfectly level with your face. Your eyes immediately scanned up his body to see him reaching up on the top shelf to grab a book.

The way his veins popped along his outstretched forearm made you gulp. Thankfully, the sound of people typing at their laptops drowned you out.

“Can you back up?” Yet again you were trying to hide the shakiness in your voice. It wasn’t easy concealing embarrassment when there was dick in your face.

“So I can’t even grab a book? Get over yourself.” Jeno paused mid-grab, looking down at you like you were a miniscule creature.

You covered your eyes and rose up off the ground, making sure you didn’t meet eyes with him in the process.

“I’ll be glad when Mark comes back.” You muttered under your breath as you went around north to dust in the next aisle.

“Why? So he can save you from me? Please.”

It was as if you could hear the shrug in his shoulders at his “please.” You continued on, trying to ignore the fact he walked around to be next to you again.

You felt him lower his head to your height, with his lips a mere centimeters away from your ear.

“How come you don’t ever look at me?” You felt your body go into shock at hearing him whisper.

“Jeno! Who’s covering the register?”

You jumped when you heard a smack atop Jeno’s shoulder.

Renjun was back from his lunch already, thank God.

“Jun is! And stop fucking hitting me before I smack the shit out of you.” Jeno turned his head to the right to talk to Renjun with gritted teeth.

“Well he’s not there!”

This was your cue to slip away unnoticed. It was your turn for lunch anyways.

It felt nice to get some fresh air outside. The slight smell of rain mixed with the gasoline coming from the convenience store was oddly pleasant. You didn’t mind eating here since Renjun suggested it but you were definitely going to find a different lunch spot in the future. Something with more greenery instead of a busy intersection with honking cars.

You didn’t know if it was too soon to talk to Mark about Jeno…it was only your second day. It baffled you that Jeno and Renjun were that close too. They seemed to travel to and from work together, maybe even lived together. What did sweet, little Renjun see in Jeno? All you saw was a tense, egotistical, manchild.

~

10:30am

“Renjun?” Jeno called out from outside his bedroom. There had been no sight of him yet and they were going to be late to work.

Usually he was the one dragging Jeno out of bed in the morning. But for some reason it was too quiet: no foot shuffling, no clacking of dishes, no gargling from mouthwash.

“Renjun! Get up, we're gonna be late!” Jeno barged into his room. Renjun’s blackout curtains prevented Jeno from seeing if he was still asleep or just dead. But judging by the sound of his unusually loud snoring, he probably wasn’t feeling well.

“Renjun.” Jeno shook him quite hard, causing him to stir and swat at his hand.

Jeno drew his hand back once he was able to get a closer look. Renjun’s eyes were crusted shut. He rose up out of bed slowly, coughing in the process.

“Damn, you look like shit.”

“I don’t feel well at…all. I can barely breathe.” Renjun’s congested voice made Jeno cringe. He sounded way too nasally for his liking.

“Where’s the key Mark gave you?” Jeno asked while trying to scan the room through the darkness. Renjun tried to do the same but his eye discharge made it nearly impossible.

“It’s under my laptop.” Renjun choked on his words, coughing more into his shirt.

Jeno walked over to Renjun’s desk and lifted his laptop, finding the spare key Mark entrusted him with.

“Okay, I'm gonna head out. See you later.”

“Jen, please don’t lose that key.” Renjun struggled for air amidst the desperation in his voice. He hoped Jeno could keep track of it, for Mark’s sanity.

The train ride to work alone felt weird and using the key to open the bookstore felt even weirder. There was a reason why Mark left Renjun in charge.

Jeno paced around the store, turning on the vintage lamps and opening the blinds. He was hoping it would be slow today considering Mark was still out sick. And with Renjun out now too, he was definitely letting Jun take charge.

It was too early in the morning to text his “Unholy Trinity” group chat, so scrolling through Reddit would have to suffice.

Jeno’s eyes grew big at the new iMessage notification that popped up overhead.

11:10am

[mark]: looks like Jun will be out sick too. I should be back tomorrow. Work diligently 👍🏼

All Jeno could do was leave Mark on read.

This couldn’t be happening.

Jeno banged his head against the check-out counter repeatedly, hoping to knock himself out by the time you showed up.

*ding*

Jeno swung his body around to view the entrance. There you were…

Of course he had failed at his attempts to knock himself unconscious. He would just have to wreak havoc upon you for the entire day instead.

“Guess it’s just me and you sweetheart.”

Jeno noted how you you rolled your eyes and immediately stormed towards the back; your blood boiling by the second.

“Kill me now.”

Satisfaction showed across his face at your words.

#nct dream fanfic #nct dream fanfiction #jeno x reader #jeno x you #jeno smut #nct dream x reader #feedback is appreciated <3

[aries-rising-on-an-aquarius-tide]

I think Rollins is going to blame Sonny for her boredom and her career ending - she’s always blamed and accused him of everything - they shouldn’t have got together, she only wanted him so he’d still be 100% attention on her as if he’s with someone else then she ain’t getting all his attention or him dropping everything all the time - they’ll divorce for sure I feel, and she’ll move away or something then a few seasons later or so, Sonny moves to be closer to his son (and her daughters) as he’s certainly the fittest parent out of the two.

Ok Anon. I have run out of patience for answering. Lol You can keep sending, and I will read 'em, but my opinions aren't going to change.

Rollins is not a bad character. In fact, Rollins is a fantastic character who fell victim to bad management and worse writing. As for Kelli, I don't really gaf. I don't know her and never will. What I do know is that she can act better than most actresses on TV in her age range, and DW fucked up hard by trying to get rid of her. It's a shame that in her coming back, she has to suffer through more lazy, destructive writing and boring bullshit. But really, the entire vehicle of a show is headed off that cliff, so, what can ya do I guess?

As for Carisi, I honestly don't care enough about him to bash him. As either a character or an actor. He can come, he can go, whatever. He adds nothing to the show so it means nothing to me.

I draw very distinct lines between characters and their actors. There is a huge gap between the two (despite anything Mariska says). So regardless of how much I may hate how a character is written, I'm not going to bash the actor for wanting a paycheck, or for acting the way it's written. Not in this economy.

And finally, always remember, every second interview that Mariska does she reminds us "Dick has the final say." If he wants to destroy his fan base, he's gonna. If he wants to hire and fire and then hire again, ditto. White male show creator syndrome means that no matter what his show means to others, no matter the legacy it has now, Dick Wolf is the one who decides if he wants to run it right into the ground. Anyone my age (I'm 40) will remember well watching Chris Carter do it in the 90s with The X-Files. It's like Icarus flying too close to the sun. Too much success with a good thing makes you think any change you make will be received just as well and succeed.

What really ends up happening is, the fanbase schisms worse than a white Baptist church and is left to pick up the pieces. Some write Rolivia fanfic, some write Rollisi fanfic, and we all reminisce about the days before the show went to hell in a handbasket.

There's a reason, anon(s) why TV shows in the 60s, 70s, 80s ended and never stretched on for a quarter of a century. Because culture, politics, comedy, current issues, etc. change too much to sustain that kind of cohesiveness. We all think that reboots and reunions are great, but most of them end up just reminding us that time marches on and nothing remains.

#law and order svu #svu #rolivia #anti rollisi #nbc svu #television #dick wolf #icarus #hubris #reboots #mariska hargitay #chris carter #the x files #the xfiles #txf #90s #longevity #writing #anonymous #aging #answered

[itsclydebitches]

Nitpick November

Okay, this is an ancient nitpick now and I’m like 95% sure I already ranted wrote about it in a previous year, but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Why oh why didn’t we learn what Ruby bought at the gift shop?

This is a fantastic, lighthearted moment in an otherwise depressing Volume! It shows off the characters’ personalities in a natural way, helping to distinguish what will quickly become a fairly homogenous group! Ruby is spending her money (Qrow’s money?) buying gifts for her teammates. Weiss thinks it’s all a waste of time (getting annoyed over inconsequential dolt stuff to hide how anxious she is about returning to Atlas). Yang is actually acting like a sister, getting playfully mad that Ruby won’t say what she got her and making a grab for the bag. “You’ll have to wait and see~”

Except Yang - and the audience - never get to find out what Ruby chose for her. It’s like a domestic Chekhov’s gun, but the included element is actually inconsequential. You wanted the story to follow up on a question it posed, one another character expressed enthusiastic interest in? Lol don’t be ridiculous.

The fact that RWBYOQ seem to have lost all their luggage (except the bike) and never comment on that is downright weird to me. Yang rants about gaining a “defenseless old lady,” but not that they presumably lost whatever was in the 9+ bags they were traveling with.

Which, given that they expected to have a nice, leisurely, day long ride into Argus on an otherwise dangerous quest, most likely includes things like dust and weapons supplies. You know, the important stuff a huntress would miss when suddenly stranded in hostile territory.

Give us a bonding moment where Ruby tells Yang what her gift was in an effort to cheer her up. Add tension to their travels by limiting the means with which they have to defend themselves. Hell, give a meh, but technically believable line about how gee golly gosh, we sure are glad everything we were traveling with was up front with JNR. I’m sure they’ll have it all unpacked at whatever safe house we’re heading towards. Oh look, there we go. Here’s your gift, Yang!

As always, the most annoying part is that RWBY’s nitpicks are, often, not actually nitpicks. The show forgot Ruby’s shopping spree in the Argus train station. Okay, big deal. Problem is, the show forgot everything else that happened in the station too.

Like the letter Qrow sent to Ironwood, the one that goes a long way towards explaining his increase in security (among every other justification) and providing the group with a means of entering Atlas if they just show a little patience. It would be real silly for our conflicts to revolve around entering the city + the group’s cliff-hanger shock at Ironwood defending his Kingdom + then seguing into total suspicion of the general when Qrow started the Volume with a letter that boiled down to “Things are awful and if you get this first, oopsies, things likely got worse and you’re on your own.”

Or, a revision:

“Dear James,

Things are really fucking bad right now! Worse even than you’re hearing and definitely worse than is safe to say over mail. So we’re coming to you. Trains are faster than letters, so if you get this first then, uh, something bad probably happened to us? Like, I don’t know, we got stranded in the woods with apathy-inducing grimm. Or something. Just tell your people to be on the lookout for wandering huntsmen because you’re smart enough to realize that getting this letter before we show up is a #BadSign.

You and I, we’ve had a playfully antagonistic, but ultimately respectful relationship over the years, which is why I’m warning you ahead of time. I look forward to resuming our partnership. I definitely don’t plan to become so randomly suspicious of you that I try to live in Atlas as a fugitive, then return your hug, then lie to you for weeks, then trust you again, then decide you need to die for my own stupidity. That would be wild, right?

See you soon!

Love,

Qrow

P.S. I bet Ruby bought you something at the gift shop. She’s a nice kid and would definitely want to thank the guy who gave her beloved sister a state-of-the-art arm, helping to bring her out of the depression that Ruby then had intense guilt over leaving her in to hunt a power-hungry murderer. Something to look forward to!”

#rwde #rwby #mymetas

[caveiratimida]

That moment of Ellie fiddling with her hidden gun in the bathroom reminded me a lot of that famous scene of Taxi Driver with Robert De Niro. I really felt like at that moment Ellie was trying to hype herself up in case she had to do something as teenagers do. Like trying to face this ruthless world with false bravado even though it is all she has known. That was the first crack in my internal dam of emotions.

Honestly, the fact Joel had to really siphon gasoline from other cars was such a nice detail of world-building, and then struggling to explain to Ellie the science for it was FANTASTIC. I really like how it's those little tidbits of a supposed-to-know-it adult with a child full of curiosities where we see their bond flourish, they question each other...

Naturally, the joke book and the magazine scenes from the game put a face-splitting grin on my face. The magazine was expected but I lost it in Ellie's joke book.

Them trying to rest in the forest without fire was such *chef's kiss*! An awkward night on the road. Before the end of the world, it would have been a nice bonding trip. Just the two of them with really no other reminders of people. No Bill and Frank's house with so many things to distract them from getting to bond with each other and no Tess to be the bridge in case they clashed. No comforts so to speak and just two emotionally raw souls. Who find a connection through the most shitty puns which is then the biggest factor that allows them to shed some of their emotional unavailability for the both of them. It was two-sided, Joel went along with it, Joel knew the pun and you can bet he probably told it to Sarah before!!

The fact that Joel stayed awake to make sure it was safe like he had told Ellie. Ellie despite being a girl who saw too much for her age still being fascinated by things such as the goddamn coffee (;﹏;)

The opposites of a hardened pessimist and a hopeful optimist is so nice. You really get the idea that at the heart of it, the show is about hope. In all it's stages. I adored the vulnerability of Joel admitting that whilst what he had was jumbled up and haphazard with Tommy, Tess, Bill and Frank, it was his and it was somewhat good.

I am a sucker for that childish reluctance of "I'm so not tired" of Ellies's to then fall asleep it was so intimate and also showed that she trusts Joel to have her back. IT IS THESE SMALL GODDAMN DETAILS. To then really have them butt heads about directions just as people do.

The sheer rawness with which Joel tells Ellie that the people won't hurt her in any way was just UFF. That entire scene where Ellie shoots that young raider to save Joel's life. Personally, it was extra cruel in my mind that she didn't kill him because that really showed her people in all their survival. He was a mess; he let go of any pretenses and begged for his mother. For me, it was implied she had to shoot Riley, but Riley I imagine was ready for it, she didn't have these final moments of desperation like this man did. Joel killing him away from her was a small mercy, and it makes their whole later discussions about the cruelness of their current world and that Ellie shouldn't have to do or deal with any of it extra heartbreaking.

I ADORE the telling of time and age with Joel in everything he does. the steps, the hearing, the less immediate reactions of his. IT IS SO NICE TO SEE AGE AND ITS FLAWS/BENEFITS ON SCREEN. It only adds to how Ellie and Joel really balance each other out in the sense of survival.

Right, look all the mentioned above produced tiny cracks, and like everyone else I am guessing - I lost it at Ellie and Joel in the middle of all the heaviness finding THE MOMENT. Seeing them carefree and just laughing TOGETHER and WITH EACH OTHER fucking broke me. It reminded me of what the creators of the game mentioned ages ago how Ellie was the first one to make Joel laugh in a long, long time. At that moment everything overcame me with such a strong feeling. And I didn't know what it was until now, I recognise it as hope. What makes seeing them laughing in this shitty skyscraper so ridiculously wholesome is hope. It was a different intensity than the usual survival. It was the same intensity of hope that we felt with Bill and Frank.

Lastly, I am so intrigued about where they will take this with Kathleen and the people in Kansas City honestly. Especially with Henry and Sam.

THESE ARE ALL MY THOUGHTS FROM WATCHING THE EPISODE THIS MORNING!!!

#that is it #I cannot put into words all that I felt but I tried #tlou spoilers #tlou hbo spoilers #the last of us spoilers #the last of us hbo spoilers #the last of us hbo #cav and tlou #joel miller #ellie williams #cav rambles

[astheswarmitcalls]

PART 3: RETURN TOUR WARDROBE - CAMPY AS FUCK

This is the third part of my 4-part analysis of MCR5, the Masterpost for which can be found here. Link to next part found at the bottom of the post. If there's something I missed, or you'd like to add your own spin/elaborate on something I brushed over, by all means I'd love to hear it!!

So for Campy As Fuck, we’ve got a great range of costuming that seems incredibly intentional and costuming that seems so stupidly fun. Deep political commentary can coexist with just doing things for the bit and because you simply want to. Gerard did say that this tour "was the most fun we’ve ever had. Every day it’s like clown city!" Also, for my own ease of reading, costumes that were designed by Marina Toybina will have an asterisk (*). I’ve also had to do a fair bit of research for this and found some things that I haven’t heard anyone else talk about.

In an interview with Marina Toybina, she said this:

”I didn’t know if they had a designer. Then he did mention Colleen (Atwood) was doing something for him.”

I don’t think it’s common knowledge that Colleen Atwood also worked on the tour outfits. She did the costuming for The Black Parade and Danger Days, so it’s fantastic to see her back for the tour, and it explains some gaps in the costuming. Toybina only did 11 of the characters Gerard portrayed onstage, some of the outfits are DIYed, and a few of them I speculate could be Atwood’s work.

META-MAN: “I feel so powerful!”

The first outright Costume in the reunion tour. At this show in Milton Keynes, Gerard had this white suit splattered in blood and tattered, white mask with the Meta logo drawn on their forehead. Pretty clear-cut commentary on Meta, how you shouldn’t let corporations own your identity and such. Gerard went on a 4-minute spiel on his feelings about Meta-verse. Here’s an abridged version of it here:

“We don’t want your meta-verse. We don’t want you having every single detail of our lives, and CONTROL over it… living your life on a screen, and giving everything- giving these corporations everything. And living in a new and beautiful and EXCITING, virtualistic fucking world. I feel the same way that David Lynch feels about watching a movie on your telephone… I’m not judging, there’s no judgement. You do your thing on there, I’ve done my thing… Look, there can be great things to share on there… Just don’t give those bastards EVERYTHING! Keep some for yourself and the people you love.”

To me, this is reminiscent of the ethos of Danger Days: The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys. The Fabulous Killjoys fight against Better Living Industries or BL/ind. (hah! Get it?!) who have seized utter control of Battery City in post-apocalyptic 2019 California. The story encompasses topics of capitalism, consumerism, corporations, and corporate greed.

Not any clear ties to MCR5 here, aside from maybe talk of corporations, but there doesn’t have to be. This works beautifully as a little statement piece from Mr. Way here.

CLOWN GERARD: “They are gonna have to bury me in this motherfucking filthy clown suit.”

Gerard Way is a filthy fucking clown. This is unbelievably fun, and so far removed from the established MCR lore.

I think clowns also embody the spirit of the return tour: they’re getting silly and having fun with it and not taking themselves so seriously. I’m vaguely reminded of Hesitant Alien, and the psychology of Lola. They would look right at home next to a clown, methinks.

Again, no clear MCR5 ties as it’s not necessary. This is just so fucking fun.

UNCLE FESTER????:

The ghoulish/skeletal makeup is familiar to MCR. This whole look though? It’s something.

That raincoat-poncho-thing appears to be that earthy green that’s appeared throughout the tour, albeit a lot grosser. ‘Doug’ is written on the front which is a nod to MCR’s producer. The silhouette of this entire fit reminded me of Uncle Fester from The Addams Family. The themes of that franchise (death/decay/vermin/rot/reanimation) wouldn’t be so far removed from the themes of MCR5. That being said, I don’t know if Gerard is even a fan of The Addams Family so we’re definitely reaching.

CLOWN GERARD (REPRISE):

Unlike the previous clown outfit which was very circus-y, this reads a lot more like Joker. They’re both sort of decrepit jesters, but this has a little less whimsy than the former.

The shirt they’re wearing is a Watchmen tee. Watchmen and Joker are both rooted in comic books. Gerard loves comic books. Maybe it’s that simple. Clowns are not familiar to MCR in the slightest. I did say that the clowns popping up could be symbolic for how fun the tour is for the band, but I’m reminded of something Gerard said after the release of Revenge regarding the attention they had garnered.

“There’s a fine line between being treated like a demi-god and a circus monkey. It’s almost the same thing”

Dressing up like a clown because you feel silly and jovial is all fun. Painting clown makeup on your face to comment on the way you feel you’re being commodified and treated like an attraction is scathing.

CRYING BLOOD GERARD:

More religious subtext here. MCR’s first album ‘I Brought You My Bullets You Brought Me Your Love’ features a song called Lady of Sorrows. The Lady of Sorrows refers to the Mary mother of Jesus in Catholicism. Gerard and Mikey were both raised Catholic, something Gerard has said ‘is some scary shit.’ So the Lady of Sorrows is depicted crying for all the sorrow she has suffered (Jesus dying etc.), with statues of Mary being known to, through some sort of divine miracle, cry real tears or blood. The black sclera contacts are a real nice touch.

Jesus’ story is technically one of rebirth? Which appears to be a very explicit theme of MCR5?? And the Virgin Mary could almost make the cut for FEMCR as a historical (??) woman who is mythologised and experiences a lot of tragedy? There’s layers here, both with the religious iconography and what may be a Virgin Mary cosplay.

SKELETON!!!!:

Now this? THIS is so fun. Skeleton iconography is very familiar to MCR through The Black Parade. This is so campy. It’s giving shitty Halloween costume. Back during The Black Parade it was fairly common for the band members, Gerard especially, to don skeleton face paint for performances. Case in point:

Skeletons are very at-home with MCR. The skeleton one-piece, however? It’s skewing away from those traditional themes of death, grief and illness that are present in TBP. This skeleton is silly and fun and campy. Skeleton Gerard reads as another nod to MCR’s established aesthetic, to what the band represented before, and yes, we are going to acknowledge it exists but we are moving on from that. You wanted The Black Parade? You wanted skeletons? Sure! Here’s our frontman in this stupid skeleton suit from Party City.

MY CATMICAL ROMEOWNCE:

Babe. BABE. Can I be real for a moment? Can I speak freely for just a second? I love you so much, but you are so fucking weird.

In all honesty though, I do think this is at least alluding to the established motifs of MCR. Gerard spoke on tour about the stray cat they took in during quarantine who brings them dead rats. The Foundations of Decay refers to vermin, and there’s rat iconography on the set as well as Gerard’s weird rambles about rats. They had a shirt spray painted with the word ‘rats’ one night, and this may be the follow up to that. I will say the neckline on that sweater is incredibly Wine Aunt, and we love to see it.

As I’ve stated before, we are the rats. We are the vermin swarm. Mr. Way?? Are you out to get us or what?

BLACK SWAN:

This costume is really cool, but I have not watched Black Swan so there’s not a lot I can say about it. From what I gather it’s about ballet and about the ballet Swan Lake and there’s themes of perfectionism. I skimmed the Wikipedia page and that was about it. If might go watch the movie, come back and rewrite this entire bit.

When I was researching however, I DID come across Black Swan Theory; a metaphor for the reality that just because something has not happened does not mean that it cannot occur in the future. (Britannica). So something that has not happened? And may seem unlikely but is not an impossible occurrence? Like, mayhaps, a fifth MCR album? Think about it for a little.

(If you're familiar with Black Swan and you have stuff to add, please please please by all means I know there's probably a lot I'm missing here.)

WATCHMEN REFERENCE?:

A not-so-subtle-but-not-so-obvious reference to Gerard Way’s appearance at Comic Con in 2010:

The inclusion of the bullet through the skull I think is reminiscent of the iconic Watchmen smiley face.

Watchmen tackles themes of nuclear warfare and war. It’s incredibly rooted in a real-world narrative, and explores and deconstructs heroes/superheros in a grounded setting. The narrative of MCR5 is going to be more raw, more realistic in this sense. With references to 9/11, and functioning as an almost meta-commentary on the band’s rebirth itself, we’re moving away from a concept that’s fantastical like in Revenge, and to something more akin to TBP. Watchmen is also explicitly about war, which is an established theme for The Foundations of Decay and the backdrop of the Return Tour.

As A DC/’Superhero’ Comic, that grounded, grittiness that’s not so common to typical superhero comics is a lot of what Watchmen encompasses. Gerard has talked extensively about how much Watchmen influenced them as a writer and a person. It’s likely this might just be an ode to an incredible piece of art, but the themes of MCR5 and Watchmen marry into each other quite well.

*BAT GERARD:

Now this? THIS is Camp. The big, black boots, the gloves, the WINGS. You wanted vampires? How about bats? How about a stupid, slutty bat costume?

No connection to MCR5 this is just delightful.

*CASINO GERARD:

The sparkly gold tux? It’s fantastic. ‘The house always wins’ was written on the drum that night and is in reference to casinos. To make a profit, the ‘house’ needs to be skewed against the players. We’re a few neurons off from turning that into a grand metaphor for capitalism.

This night they performed a Frank Sinatra cover. I totally dig it.

*SHEET GHOST GERARD:

Oh man oh man oh man-

As is with basically every costume in Campy as Fuck, it’s just stupidly fun. This may be one of my favourite ones. It’s just so fun. The references to the undead and spirits and ghosts seem familiar from The Black Parade, but this still feels wholly new.

HELENA/REVENGE-ISH GERARD:

This feels almost like nostalgia-baiting. MCR wants us to draw connections between the colour palettes of this outfit and the Revenge age. The stunt they pulled at WWWYFest was a much more obvious play on the toxicity of nostalgia culture. The black with little pops of red is so reminiscent of the band’s Revenge uniforms, and I think this is paying ode to that. Also their flower is so big it looks a little silly.

I read this as an ode to Helena; the black with the red flowers. MCR keeps toeing that line of familiar and new and I adore it.

*GERACULA:

VAMPIRE TIME BABEY!!!

It’s already been established that vampires hold significance in the MCR mythos. They’ve written 5 songs, maybe more, that are about or use vampires as a metaphor. To my knowledge, vampires have been referenced in MCR since the first album, but we haven’t seen them appear in music videos or in costuming. UP UNTIL NOW!

Gerard Dracula. Geracula. I believe this is a costume recreated from the 1931 movie ‘Dracula.’ It’s the traditional, gothic vampire that MCR loves. It’s also incredibly Camp. Vampires have thematic relevance to a lot of MCR’s messages, about addiction, but I suppose as undead they’re sort of a symbol of rebirth? I’m pushing for this to have MCR5 ties but it really doesn’t need to, it’s so fun.

RED SKULL? PHANTOM? I DUNNO???:

So! I’ve been pointing out allusions to military/anti-war commentary with the green and camo throughout the entire tour thus far. This could be read as a reference to The Ghost of You music video (set in WWII) with the military uniform, or something that could just be Fun, but it feels far too intentional for that. Why the bright red? Why not black or green?

Hear me out: this is the man who stands upon the hill in The Foundations of Decay. He’s the military leader, the one who has endured the battles and gets to be canonised in death. He’s in red and black because that was the unofficial ‘uniform’ for My Chemical Romance and their fanbase. He’s our leader and we are his devotees, his mob, his minions.

That one is a fairly big stretch, but we’re trying to cover as much ground as possible. It’s like monkeys and typewriters, maybe if I ramble for long enough, I’ll write Shakespeare.

I think this outfit may be a Colleen Atwood costume; it’s too high quality to be store bought but doesn’t appear on Toybina’s Instagram.

God sorry this one was so, so long, I promise the next part won't be. I think.

<<< PREVIOUS PART | NEXT PART >>>

#mcr #my chemical romance #mcr5 #mcr5 theory #mcr5 is real #oh god this post is so long #so sorry about that one

[daisytrails]

listen i’m just as excited about the 60th anniversary episodes as everyone else. donna is my favorite companion and i think david tennant’s doctor is great.

but i am really not appreciating all of the pretending jodie whittaker’s doctor didn’t exist that i’m seeing online and from the creators. yes there were flaws in the plot of her era, especially towards the end, but did everyone forget about the global fucking pandemic that was happening when that was being written and filmed? most of tv was shit when that was filmed. y’all just forgot about it because it took them longer to add the special effects so everything else filmed like that was over by the time it came out. plus they had half of their regular amount of episodes taken away from them. they didn’t have the same resources that every other team and season has had. and you can say what you will about the execution behind 13’s era before that as well, but you cannot deny that they tried harder than any previous era has to be inclusive and make progress with not just the people on and behind the camera but with the kinds of stories they were telling and you cannot deny that jodie whitaker is a fantastic doctor who did amazing work with what she was given.

the amount of edits i’ve seen on tiktok that go from 11 to 12 to 14 and the removal of jodie’s costume and tardis set is really pissing me off at the moment if you can’t tell

#doctor who #doctor who 60th anniversary #the 13th doctor

[reallyintoscience]

Ten books to know me

Rules: 10 (non-ancient) books for people to get to know you better, or that you just really like.

I was tagged by @mathomhouse-e probably about fifteen internet years ago now. But here we are and thank you!

Who knows what "non-ancient" even means, so here's some books that feel important to me and the way I think about the world.

The Wood Wife by Terri Windling This is THE book to know me. It's about art, creation, what it's like to be a creator of art and poetry and it's also the most beautiful invocation of a supernatural world embedded in a real landscape. It made me love the desert. It has a wonderful trickster character, and found family, and stepping into your power as a creator.

Snow Crash by Neal Stephenson If you ask me, this is the foundational cyberpunk novel (I don't get on with Neuromancer). It changed the way I thought about writing, technology and transhumanism and it's so funny. It brings in memes in their original meaning, mythology and cyberpunk. One of the main characters is called Hiro Protagonist. It doesn't devolve into obligatory romance. (Fine and great in its place, but not when it's there in spite of the plot.) I have never liked anything else Stephenson has ever written, but THIS. This is wonderful.

The Last Herald-Mage by Mercedes Lackey Cheating: it's a trilogy. Formative Sad Gay Angst Wizards. This was such a revelation to read in the 90s, as a baby bi. A gay protagonist, actually on-page, not just subtext. Coming out and dealing with homophobia, having sex. Gay protagonist. ALSO the melodrama oh my god Vanyel. I really don't know who'd come out top in a drama-off, him or Dream. But also, Van's struggle with isolating himself to protect his feelings, and let's not forget the cool powers and the magic soulbonding horses. FORMATIVE.

A Land Fit for Heroes by Richard K. Morgan Cheating: it's a trilogy. Matured killer gay wizard-rogue. RINGIL ESKIATH OWNS MY SOUL. He wouldn't want it but too bad. He is my perfect character. He has a bloodthirsty, talking magic sword. It's probably trying to eat his soul. He has a Very Straight warrior best friend and together they have a Very Lesbian crack-addicted elf best friend. They are horrible bastards, and Ringil fucks so much and in all contexts. And the mythology is super cool. Also the politics. This is just perfect for me. (It has so so many content warnings; feel free to hit me up if you're thinking of trying it out.)

The Belgariad by David Eddings Cheating: it's a quintet. Two quintets, if you want to add in the Malloreon. I'm not sure I could go back to it now because the tropes have worn out so much and the gender politics are terrible, but I have read it so many times. This was my first high fantasy epic quest series, and the characters are so dear to me. The way that magic words in this world is refreshingly simple, and I can respect that.

Generation Loss / Cass Neary Series by Elizabeth Hand This is. So fucking good. Cass is The Last Punk Standing, an artist in a fine art street photographer sense, a nihilistic, substance abusing wonderful disaster. This series is part mystery, part grimy supernatural, part literary. It uses Cass's art skills to get her into and out of her problems. It embeds subcultures, eras and the supernatural or just the unsettling so well into the story that it doesn't really feel like an urban fantasy. Again, a lot of content warnings.

The Wicked + The Divine by Kieron Gillen and Jamie McKelvie Thiiiiiis graphic novel might still be cheating because there are ten trade books but whatever. It's everything I want a graphic novel to be and the art is fucking gorgeous. It has fandom, music, transformation, gods and monsters and it's just so so fucking cool. What if, every ninety years, twelve humans become gods from existing but not matching pantheons. The deal is they are loved and hated, they're famous for two years, and then they die. It is fantastic.

Machineries of Empire by Yoon Ha Lee Cheating... look I cheat. Whatevs. It's a series. Beautiful twisty space scifi built on a somewhat impenetrable system of math and torture to create the most interesting magic system you ever did see. (You do need a high tolerance for being thrown in the worldbuilding deep end; there will be no infodumps.) There's such wonderful politics and assassins and the best, best Magnificent Bastard ever written, and bodysharing and loyalty and an on-page uniform kink that has to be seen to be believed. It is a wonder and a glory.

Letters to a Young Poet by Rainer Maria Rilke One of these things is not the like others, but this book is so important to me. The tenderness, the deep thinking about what it means to be a creator. I have it in multiple bindings because whenever I come across it I can't resist.

Close to the Knives: A Memoir of Disintegration by David Wojnarowicz Also a bit of a departure, but Wojnarowicz is so important to me. His art, his activism, but most of all the way he made journaling part of his arts practice. The queer history here, the utter bullshit genocide of the queer community in the 80s and 90s. But the love and the joy as well. His fierce criticism of the culture he lived in. Just. He's my art hero.

The almost made it but I've run out of space: Watership Down by Richard Adams and The Administration series by Manna Francis.

Um, I don't know who did this at the time and who didn't, but if you didn't and you'd like to: @issylra, @beholdme, @ml-nolan, @4ratsinatrenchcoat, @beholdingthegaytimes

#books and reading #tag games #long post