#there’s absolutely more parallels that can be made here but rn I just have feelings

[m-does-things]

A Crown of Candy ep 6 / The Ravening War ep 6

Zac Oyama PCs + telling people to shut up while helping them before their potential deaths

#I literally had to pause watching the rw finale to sob over this parallel #I was so sure deli was gonna die here #truly chewing on the walls #even more so if you consider that both of those are the common ships for his character #zac oyama you make me unwell sir #there’s absolutely more parallels that can be made here but rn I just have feelings #the ravening war #trw #trw spoilers #the ravening war spoilers #d20 spoilers #dimension 20 #a crown of candy #acoc #acoc spoilers #lapin cadbury #theobald gumbar #colin provolone #thane delissandro katzon

[betweenlands]

[ID: Two asks from my inbox. The first is from @12u3ie and reads "Drop the essay, Solar /nf". The second is from @artisticgryfess and reads "wait no tell me about joe being technos hels". /End ID]

holy shit you guys i'm not even a hermitcraft or dsmp blog rn. fair enough this is a longstanding conspiracy theory of mine, though. ok, so. Joe Is Techno's Hels, the not-an-essay (mainly because i'm not going to cite SHIT, this is PURELY in the realm of headcanon/theory except if i explicitly indicate something is supported by canon)

so, the joke theory starts like this: back when hermitcraft/dsmp crossovers were first getting popular, there were a lot of crack theories about "hels!joe is technoblade" because... well, a lot of factors. they're both loosely english majors (i know joe is a history major just humor me), both slightly strange guys who operate by their own logic, both have somewhat similar (ish?) accents, both have a very deadpan sense of humor and incredible delivery on that deadpan, and most of all both of them Cannot Be Killed In A Way That Matters.

however, i am your local Hels Analyst, no like seriously there's so much weird shit about helsknight we haven't discussed yet, and one (implied? this is a theory but i feel it holds water) thing that's always been key to me about Hels versions is... they represent bad traits present in the original individual. whether or not those bad traits are the Objectively Bad ones or the traits the original self-identifies as bad is pretty up in the air right now (welsknight come off anon i just need you to tell me if helsknight likes pineapple on pizza it is absolutely fucking critical to our understanding of hels lore) but we'll be going with the latter, for reasons i'll explain later and by later i mean right now.

so! assuming there are hels versions of more players than just welsknight (i cannot stress enough how much we technically don't know this in canon -- it can reasonably be extrapolated but we really aren't sure!), that brings up an interesting issue with techno being joe's hels.

joe is not a particularly violent person.

"well solar," you say, "what does that have to do with techno being joe's hels?"

"well, strawman i have made up to make this long-ass post more visually broken-up and less formal-feeling," i reply, "hels versions of players only exhibit traits that are present in the original person." and this is confirmed canon, by the way -- wels himself has explicitly cited specific ways he can sometimes suck that are directly visible in the way helsknight acts!

so. joe is not a particularly violent person, and... okay yes listen i know there's a lot of very good writing on how technoblade isn't entirely 100% down for violence all the time and maybe wants to peacefully retire, okay. i get it. i am not calling techno a murder machine all i'm saying is that one of them enjoys pvp enough that he helped train other people and the other one is recording as he always does from nashville tennessee. i am a variety mcyt blogger and the only dsmp essay i have ever written before now is about how the tftsmp metaplot parallels redstoner. just bear with me.

imo joe also exhibits a lot of self-awareness about his own bad qualities as a character, and none of those traits are really... present in technoblade? but here's where it gets interesting.

i am no genius and certainly no master c!technoblade analyst, but if we assume technoblade trained to become a fighter and identified certain of his traits as being Not Ideal for someone who focuses on pvp and being a strong pigman, we can. kind of see those traits in joe, even if we can assume technoblade has learned enough to stop displaying those traits:

will commit to the bit even if it's inconvenient for him

obnoxious about whatever form of literature is closest to him

will start quoting from that work of literature to fit the situation even when it totally doesn't fit the situation

zero bloodlust and an active need to avoid direct conflict; a tendency towards pacifism even

malicious compliance

perfectly timed awful timing

overwhelming amounts of Just Some Guy and also English Major energy

exceedingly stubborn and would rather go through a problem than around it; will also see a tunnel through a mountain and climb over the hill instead

and. hm! yeah that feels like a joe hills description. you could make a joe hills out of this. add to that the fact that both of them refuse to die, but technoblade never dies whereas joe conquers death by dying over and over and coming back repeatedly out of sheer spite -- yeah i'd say joe could very easily be seen as the hels of the two.

and if Hels, the dimension, is the hostile and horrible place that helsknight claims it is -- where "everyone's unyielding and everyone there rebels" -- well, only one of them has a (mostly) canonical backstory that involves struggling through a hellish landscape designed by a hostile architect who wishes to cause pain and suffering. and it's not technoblade.

#anyway! i hope this helsknight finds you before i do #i have to go feed Animals in my House now. thanks for humoring me #yt #txt #ask #orig #solar scraps #solar scrawls #12u3ie #artisticgryfess #technoblade #joe hills #joehills #hermits #dsmp #hc x dsmp

[sblvrgg]

i'm so mad at gege after the last episode cause it made me start thinking about female characters in jjk so here i am.

(jjk anime and manga spoilers ahead)

nobara is such a great character, she looks like the usual "girl of the trio" for like the first two seconds you know her but she's so much more and SO BADLY USED IN THE PLOT EXACTLY LIKE SHOKO

everything about yuji/megumi/nobara is a sort of parallelism with satoru/suguru/shoko but it doesn't work out completely cause we know almost nothing about shoko and the little we do know it's mostly written in the extra volume about jjk characters and techniques, it's not like gege actually tells us more about her in the plot and he could have done that in the hidden inventory arc even if it was meant to be focused on satoru and suguru AND THIS MAKES ME FURIOUS

like okay you just want a female character with healing powers? great (not great, but let's not focus on this rn) BUT AT LEAST MAKE HER ACTUALLY HEAL SOMEONE???? I LOVE HER BUT SHE'S SO USELESS, EVERYONE DIES IN SHIBUYA AND SHE'S JUST THERE DOING NOTHING WITH YAGA BECAUSE SHE CAN HEAL BUT SHE CAN'T FIGHT??? HELLO???

in the hidden inventory arc she's not even involved in missions, we have more scenes of her in the opening/ending that in the actual episodes. i don't need to know her whole story but if you put her there as the only character (beside satoru and yuta) who can use reversed technique then MAKE HER ACTUALLY USE IT WHEN NEEDED

and no, i'm not talking about this just because i want our beloved satosugu back. as a suguru kinnie i'm 100% convinced that his death was the only right option for his character from the moment he left jujustu tech. i have some mixed feelings about gojo's death but just because i think gege could've handled it better, not because i absolutely need him back like some delulu maniacs in the fandom (no offense, i'm suffering with you all but some people are crazy). but in shibuya she could've been more useful, at least in helping the students.

nobara at least has a strong personality and a cool technique, she's not just another sakura or orihime (i hate orihime but sakura is great too ofc, i just mean that nobara unlike them isn't the girl put there just to heal her male companions and have a crush on one of them) or shoko herself (and thinking about it shoko is even more useless cause sakura and orihime at least help and heal their crush).

we know a lot about her past, i was crying like a baby watching her say goodbye to fumi and then... she dies, just like that. her goal isn't even that difficult to achieve, it's not some big dream like suguru's, it's something extremely personal and she's not gonna reach it cause gege killed her. i love nobara too but honestly she doesn't have that great development merely because she dies before she can actually become stronger. everytime she fights she gets severly wounded or is there to support others or she's the one who needs support. i feel like she doesn't have her big moment before dying (like maki does for example, i know she's not dead yet but i wouldn't be so mad if it happened cause she has a great development since jjk 0. i would cry like a baby again though, pls gege don't kill her i'm begging you).

and no, i don't think nobara's death is necessary for yuji or the plot in general either. yuji has already seen nanami die in front of him, sukuna has killed who knows how many people and he could do nothing about it, he was still mad at mahito for junpei so why kill nobara too?

gege doesn't even show her in the afterlife when gojo dies (and a delulu part of me hopes that's because she's still alive), like i know that in that airport there are people from his past and the focus is on them, his blue spring and whatever but damn she's one of his students too, he talks about megumi and the fact that he still had things to explain to him but he doesn't even mention her? (he doesn't mention yuji either okay i know, i would've liked that too but at least they have a cute moment before the fight against sukuna).

instead of focusing on those that should be the main female characters we have mei mei though. don't get me wrong, she's our mommy, i'm barking (respectfully) every time i see her on screen or in the manga but is all that screentime really necessary? do i really need to see her in bed with ui ui or walking like a runway model for minutes? mmmh i don't think so.

i don't know, maybe i'm the one missing something in this story, maybe i'm not getting it completely but still, as much as i love jjk i'm mad. i could go on for days about this and what's happened in the manga these last few months, but i'm gonna stop for today.

at this point i'm convinced that gege introduced too many characters and he can't handle them properly, unlike other mangakas like horikoshi who literally shows you the backstory of every single kid you see, even the one drawn in the corner of a panel in that one chapter that everyone forgot about (horikoshi has problems handling fem characters too, but this is a whole other problem and it's something that involves a lot of different animes/mangas).

that's it, going back at crying now, thinking about how my life could be way better if i put this same effort in my studies.

#jujutsu kaisen #jjk #jujutsu kaisen spoilers #jjk2 #nobara kugisaki #jujutsu kaisen nobara #shoko ieiri #jujutsu kaisen shoko #maki zenin #mei mei #female characters #gege akutami #gege you have to pay for our therapy

[phantom-of-the-501st]

Thoughts on TBB 3x15

Here we go... one last time

SPOILERS BELOW THE CUT

Honestly thought I was going to be late to the episode but I actually work up at 8:01 am today so I am just a couple mins behind everyone else.

Am I prepared? Absolutely not.

Well that's an ominous noise. Always a good way to start 😰

The Kiner soundtrack is popping off as usual

I just need Hemlock to die

Indispensable? I'm not sure about that, mate. A lot of people have realised the Empire don't need them and I'm fairly certain you are on the list of people who can be ditched

Hahahahahaha the way the droid just starts looming behind her is kinda hilarious

OMEGA'S THEME 😭

Wrecker, bud, be careful...

Look at Omega sneaking around. She's so grown up! 🥲

ZILLOBEAST TIME

"Because that's exactly what I'd do" He's such a proud mum

THE WAY THE TROOPERS COME FLYING OUT OF THE FOG

"Clone Force 99 died with Tech`' well there goes my heart. I think this also explains why we haven't really heard the Batch theme since season 2. That theme was for CF 99 and if that doesn't truly exist anymore...

"It's what I deserve" CROSSHAIR DON'T DO THIS TO ME

"Echo's handiwork or Omega's?" "Omega's." I'M DYING

Omega's theme in this soundtrack is just 🤌

Oh great. We have a whole group of Clone Xs to contend with.

I just need all of the Batch together so that we can get the theme. I know I said earlier that we probably never got it because of a lack of Tech but I still stand by the fact that we deserve to hear it one last time.

These CX soldiers almost feel like a parallel to the Batch. One slightly larger, more hand-to-hand combat oriented soldier, one who fights with blades, a sniper, ONE WHO IS VERY TECH SAVVY 👀

WRECKER AAAAAAHHHH THIS IS NOT GOOD

NOT THE HAND

WTF?!

HELP

NO

THIS IS NOT GOOD 😰

Fuuuuuccckkk Echo's seen them down

"Causing chaos, Havoc 5?" HE'S STILL MAKING QUIPS IN THIS SITUATION I LOVE HIM

"Hey, kid. And... other kids." PLEASE 😭

"We'll meet you there" YOU BETTER DO

Echo and Omega teaming up is everything I ever needed ❤️‍🩹

Hemlock needs to die a slow, painful death

ECHO'S SPEECH FEELS LIKE THE SPEECH HE AND FIVES GAVE DURING THE ATTCK ON KAMINO I FEEL SICK

Rampart looking sus...

This feels like this isn't going as terribly as it could be and that scares me

Aw ☹️ bye, Nala Se. I never really loved you but it's sad to see you go

HAHAHAHAHA FUCK YOU, RAMPART

AAAAAAAHHHH ECHO GOT STABBED

You know what I said 2 seconds ago about it not being terrible? I think I spoke too soon...

YES WRECKER

I'm not liking the position Echo is stuck in rn. That stresses me out 😥

We're not exactly in top form but hey, an attempt is being made

ECHO BE CAREFUL

Soooo... I get the feeling CX-2 isn't Tech...

AW NO SCORCH

FUCK YES!!! Bye Hemlock 👋

THE LOOK ON CROSSHAIR'S FACE WHEN SHE HUGS HIM AAAAAHHHH

Tarkin is not going to be a happy bunny

Oop we got a Project Stardust mention

THE SHOW ENDING WITH THEM ON PABU??? LIKE AN ACTUAL SOMEWHAT HAPPY ENDING???

I'm crying

Actually sobbing

That shot of them all sat by the tree 😭😭😭

A FUCKING EPILOGUE KMN

I can't breath

SHE REMINDS ME OF PHEE AAAAHHH

GONKY!!! 🥹

OLD HUNTER?!

Omega is joining the Rebellion? 🥺

Crosshair, Hunter and Wrecker all got to live to an old age in relative peace I'm in so many tears rn

Okay but if Echo isn't with the others at this point then where is he??? PLEASE TELL ME HE'S STILL AROUND

TECH'S GOGGLES?!

I'm not okay on any level

Okay, so overall, I'm relatively satisfied with the ending. I also cried about as much as I would have done if they all died so my emotions are still all over the place. Do I think every question we had came to a satisfying conclusion? Not quite. But I think we tied up enough loose ends for me to be content.

And I'm happy they got a somewhat happy ending. Knowing that they get to live a life in relative peace makes me happy, and we know that Hunter, Wrecker and Crosshair at least make it another few years. Omega joining the Rebellion also seems apt. As an Echo girly I unfortunately don't feel quite as secure with where we left off. I don't have the same level of closure that I do with the others because we know that around this point in time, he isn't with Rex. But he also isn't with the Batch either. I hope we get to see more of him in future projects because I don't quite feel satisfied with this being the end of his story. He's doing too much for it to stop there.

Also... we were wrong about Tech. The level of delusion we carried throughout this season, my god. 😭 But it means I'm confused by some of their choices. The way they focused on being savvy with technology, the way he moves being similar to Tech, FUCKING DOMICILE??? Like, they have to have known that we would all go that way with our theories so why??? If it wasn't him they why was he written the way he was? I refuse to believe everything we thought was purely out of delusion. Does this mean I have issues with the way Tech's story ended? Yes. But overall I think the show wrapped up fairly well.

I'll try and drop some more thoughts later down the line once I've pulled myself together a bit, but for now I can say that I am content. Completely satisfied? Not really, but definitely content.

#well that's it #the end of the bad batch #I'm going to try and throw some more coherent thoughts out over time #but for now I just need to think on things for a little but #but how are we all feeling? #the bad batch #the bad batch season 3 #the bad batch spoilers #tbb spoilers #tbb wrecker #tbb crosshair #tbb hunter #tbb omega #tbb echo

[casismybestfriend]

i’m kind of mad at myself for letting myself get mad about the finale :p

despite what i’ve posted pre-finale, i went into it with little to no expectations, because i know that finales have the ability to hurt me, and i’ve been burned before (we all know from which show)

but as the ep went on and on it was just wonderful! so many funny moments, many great callbacks and parallels! and i guess that’s what made me let down my guard too soon and believe the finale would complete everyone’s arcs with due justice

and i also hate how i guess my default coping mechanism is to deny and to try to cling and grasp at any sort of possibility that this was a joke, or there’s more to come, or there was executive meddling, etc etc etc

i also know that a flaw of mine is i’m very easily swayed, even gullible, so my view of an episode can be easily influenced by the blogs i follow and posts i find, so i’ll do my best to find chill blogs in between those who express with much better words than i have on how we feel rn

i’m still in that phase after three years post spn, and i’m still waiting for an explanation, but likely won’t ever get one because maybe finales can just be bad every once in a while

there was a lot that i loved in the episode last night! but my brain now is looking back and trying to rationalize everything, like “oh here was a red flag you missed!!”

this is still one of my absolute favorite shows and luckily this didn’t kill that for me, and i’ll still reblog and seek out any and all gifsets, fic, fanart, etc because i just love it too much, plus our artwork helps us get through things like this and make our own even better versions :)

so i think i’ll do just that^ but the way i cope is also finding all the little analyses and metas about how this could’ve been fixed. many of these posts will be largely speculation, and i may be clinging to them too much, but i think that’s what i need right now lol

i will try my best to tag these posts as “tl finale” and “speculation” when needed, in addition to my “ted lasso tv” and “ted lasso spoilers” tags for anyone who wants to avoid these posts 👍

#ted lasso tv #ted lasso spoilers #tl finale #my posts

[spamgyu]

hi!!! i finally finished reading the backburner and! i have a lot of thoughts!

i'm sorry if it is too long, i caught flashbacks from my english literature class and started analyzing everything....

firstly, i think i told you before when i've read infrunami, but i absolutely love how you mix feelings/thoughts of the characters and the actual plot and action. you amazingly good at writing it all naturally, that i as a reader do not feel lack of information or overdose of iti love that you use small actions, glances/kisses/hesitations to kiss to describe how they feel and what they think, and not just straight up telling it

secondly, speaking about cheol/oc parallels, i agree that they're both red flags, but oc seems to be more of a pinkish red?¿ i mean, yes, she is a lil silly and blind and does not see the way mingyu looks at her before the kiss, but i wouldn't say mingyu is a backburner for her. you are the author and i can't argue, but to me it seems that she is not self-aware? like, she made sure cheol knew what she wanted out of their relationships, they were not friends before. and cheol is a manipulative leo, who wants attention and backup plans. in the episode in the 2nd version when oc rejects him he is fully aware that he hurts her, all his words, it is a calculated move, he is self-aware red flag and, i guess, just does not want to do anything about it?? but as for the oc.... i mean, she is not a good person either, but mingyu never told her hpw he felt?? and she is not supposed to read his mind?? mingyu is the best boy and my sunny bunny and deserves being appreciated but like i don't think the oc conciously hurted him🤷‍♀️

to sum up, i really want to thank you for your writing and that you make real and almost 3d characters, who are complicated and interesting to followi really appreciate your works and i hope you won't ever stop writing🥹🫶

ahhhh oh my god wait before i reply to this can i just say this made me feel so warm like wowowowowowowowow thank you so much for taking the time to read it and give me your feedback im literally crying throwing up rn

/hoshi crying pic here/

that i as a reader do not feel lack of information or overdose of iti love that you use small actions, glances/kisses/hesitations to kiss to describe how they feel and what they think, and not just straight up telling it

pls this part made me kick my feet and giggle so hard bc u get it omfg i really do try my best to show that true human nature??? like sometimes u like someone and u dont even think to do something for them??? u just do it??? like sometimes ur actions are faster than ur thoughts and ig thats what people say when "actions comes naturally when u love someone" aldk;fja;lsdkf anyways

you are the author and i can't argue, but to me it seems that she is not self-aware?

no ur right. i think though that because of her lack of selfawareness and her selfishness she unintentionally put mingyu on her backburner bc she knew he'd always be there. like she bitches about cheol running to sunhee but when shit hits the fan she always runs to mingyu.... taking his selflessness for granted

but as for the oc.... i mean, she is not a good person either, but mingyu never told her hpw he felt?? and she is not supposed to read his mind??

with this part i kind of wrote it as more of like.... she is so pressed about sunhee and cheol's relationship and she didnt see that her and mingyu were the same. she came to terms that cheol has feelings for sunhee and yet she cant see that her and mingyu's friendship is paralleled with it bc she's too focused on one thing.

ANYWAYS THANK YOU SO MUCH AGAIN IM LITERALLY PUKING ;ALSDKFJFKA AND THE FACT THAT U READ THE MESS OF INFRUNAMI and stuck around after??? god u need a hug

#i love love love when u guys tell me what u think of my writings like i feel like my heart is about to explode every time #spamgyu backburner

[nattyontherun]

I just read all ur naruto fics and I feel insane.

Me about fictional characters: they get me.

I absolutely refuse to be emo in someone ask box but screams at you so much.

“How much do you lose to mourning, when what you lose is everything you’ve ever had? How can you acknowledge yourself, when all you have left to acknowledge is the you who never grew past your hurt? // Existence was ruination, to Sasuke. Existence was the slow descent into insanity.” I’m literally rolling around on the floor thrashing around. Hearth fire (and the rest of the series) WRECKED ME by the way if you even CARE. Me when the parallels in a fic to my life literally grab my by the throat and stab me but also wrap me in a warm fuzzy blanket and pat my head. Literally sent me deep into a very contemplative mood after reading it.

“… would have to live on because if not him, who?” “…because mourning, in its own way, is a form of safekeeping.” Hello I have died.

Also I don’t mean this in a derogatory sense but when I went to ur ao3 profile and read u have a psych degree I was like. That makes so much sense lmFAO.

Also also on a slightly more serious note, well it’s not that serious tbh, but I also do be dissociating and the way you described it was idk it felt weirdly good to read. I used to lose days at a time. I’m not as bad now but I’ll still lose hours here and there. I am not one to externalise things so I don’t have the capacity to describe things to people when asked but we’re I to try very hard it would probably be similar to how you wrote sasukes experience.

Oh my god tho. Oblivion. YOUR MIND IS SO POWERFUL. Your mind is literally so so so powerful. I’m shaking.

Anyway maligayang pasko at mag ingat ka 🫶🏻

This just made my holidays! First of all thanks??? I'm as surprised as you are that HF has been so monumental for me????

I've been told on a multitude of occasions that I have the unfortunate(?) habit of putting a lot of myself in fics. What I explore--thematically at the very least--is often just me chasing after the worms that haunt me in my dreams, yk? It's not like I'm a perpetually sad or moody person--quite the opposite really--but if I don't contemplate stuff I go through at least a little bit, where would that leave me? As uncomfy as it is, it's better to know yourself too much than not at all.

But YEAH! HF! Mindboggly amounts of woah topped by a surprising amount of hope? Sometimes I think I made it too melodramatic and "floaty" for lack of a better word and then I get comments like yours and I start rethinking my spirally thoughts. I just have so many OPINIONS about how canon treated everyone, but mainly Sasuke. If they weren't gonna let him die, by god give him the justice he so deserves?? He has like zero closure and an overwhelming brother complex and all canon does to fix that is say "revenge bad, here walk around some" FAWK no????

Anyways I have a psych degree! I don't use it for much rn but it's glossy and makes me feel good about myself sometimes! I like to think I'm not so obvious about it but I also feel like I always talk about it to anyone everytime so bvcedjsnj where was I going with my reply?

Right. Right! I meant to say that, as per the dissociation thing--far be it for me to claim I know anything about it beyond what I've read in a couple journals but I do tend to 'lose time" so to speak, myself? When I'm stressed or depressed or anxious or some horrid conglomeration of those three horrid things lmao. It's NOT fun, and I don't wish it on anyone, and I hope, if you can, you can speak to someone about it because suffering, in whatever way, however much, doesn't have to be a thing we just settle with yk? Idk. I wrote HF with this thought in mind that just because things can seem absolutely ass over tits at any moment doesn't mean it's always gonna be like that. I love the struggle story, I love ANGST--writing it, reading it--but there's something so devastating and inspirational about wanting to stand back up after stumbling. Human tenacity and resilience will always be infinitely more heartrending than sorrow itself or whatever philosophical way you can spin it...

I feel like I just lost the thread of my response all over again. I'm sorry! It's nearing 3am, I just got off shift, and I'm in one of those moods again... just... I care very deeply about people as a concept, and the way we mold ourselves around each other's lives until every one of our struggles is an extension of our community, which is an extension of our history and so on. I'm not super good about being in the /now/, the details of general existence aren't my best friends. But if characters get to act however the fuck they want to act, if they can build themselves back up from nothing, explore themselves in ways you or I never could, maybe never is just a qualifier we give ourselves to excuse our inflexibility and stagnation?

Something, something, the ultimate goal of the human experience will always be Self Actualization.

Anyways Anon, sorry about all the rambly philosophizing, I've probably scared you off now fbvehcskffbcrehd but you made my whole month!! Maligayang Pasko sa inyo po!!! Ingat ka lagi!!!!!!! And to whoever even bothers to read all this rambling,,,, in English: Merry Christmas and take care always, Mabuhay!

#i am so flattered #you have no idea i SQUEEEEEEEE to oblivion #by the way to oblivion is my love letter this smol section of fandom #and myself #mostly myself #kakasasu #ish #they're just trash bags to which i dump my emotional trauma #and make you all pay for it #mwa mwa thanks for the lovely comments you give me life #merry christmas!!!

[nonsensegnomes]

bestie what are your top nine favorite movies atm

oooh good question <3 well like i said i'm discovering i've covered way more ground in tv over the last few years (which i'm gonna rectify soooooonnnnnn i think, got a lot of exciting recs from that recent tag game!!) so this is pitifully basic, but like in terms of what i'm thinking about Right This Moment:

the hitcher – slightly deranged about this ever since i saw it last week, a movie perfectly tuned to my preferences <3 love love LOVE the main performances & the dreamy atmosphere & the cinematography; just! the americana of it all!! plus there is soooo much to dig into, like the folkloric resonances (i mean the vanishing hitchhiker story HELLO), the gay panic (as in the actual original homophobic meaning) every shot of the first half hour is just LACED with, that scene where he puts the coins over his eyes in the diner.... obsessssssssssed.

the black phone – okay so i watched this last night & it might fade from the faves over the next few days but rn i can't stop Picking at it. genuinely Disturbed me a couple times so 🙈👍 ethan hawke ATE, the little girl playing the sister KILLED it, and my friend pj should've had more screentime so the sets of siblings could parallel each other or something but wcyd ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ i am a little I Can Fix It about some of its clunkier plot points, but the main conceit of the phone fucked soooooo hard i can forgive it 💖

it 2017 – listen. i have been feeling this rewatch approaching all summer & as soon as i get my grubby hands on a projector (as god intended this movie to be watched <3), august is going to be thee month for it!!! idk it just has a very dear place in my heart 💕 like everyone else i did have a 2019 breakdown despite its many Many flaws, but the first one remains That Bitch w/ the perfect pacing & ending... coming of age film that just happens to have a clown in it babey!! also always going to care about eddie kaspbrak unfortunately 😔

nausicaä of the valley of the wind – my fave ghibli movie!! What Is There To Say. it was the first one i saw before i was aware everyone went insane about like hmc & princess monoke (which i also adore!!), so at first i was just Captivated by the animation genius & the Weirdness & the design of those bugs... it just plucks at something in me, like this is PRECISELY the kind of post-apocalyptic story i can enjoy, like what a coherent & hopeful environmental message that's, well, not subtle but certainly managed with a very deft touch!!!

fight club – sorry for being a film bro :/ anyway go look at this important piece of LGBT history

the death of stalin – love a comedy where everything falls apart around & also due to a bunch flailing back-stabbing incompetent idiots, so of course an armando iannucci joint always hits the spot <3 just SUCH alarming pettiness & cruelty that you have to laugh in the face of it ohhhh my godddddd

southern comfort – okay so kinda cheating with this docu, but it just impacted me sooooooo deeply the first time i saw it & i still go back and rewatch every once in a while. despite how sad it gets at the end, it actually is one of those things that gives me Real hope bc the whole thing is just about love & community & the radical Comfort transness allows you to find in yourself 💕💕💞💖 i would definitely rec it to absolutely everyone, it's only 90 mins & absolutely Life-Changing; i think there was a clip going round here a while ago about how affirming t4t love can be, and imo that just sums up the whole vibe. rest in power robert eads ✊😔

fire walk with me – well this is my favourite movie of all time despite the fact that i can NEVER ever watch it again ✌️ like i am well aware that it is technically kinda all over the place, what with david seeing fit to make the first half hour just "fbi procedural david bowie cameo now THIS character says something ominous & incomprehensible" but also. i Do Not Care bc the next hour + a half made me cry so hard it took me like 5 hrs to watch it; jesus CHRIST she was just a kid who needed someone to reach out and help her!!! laura i would have done so much cocaine with you & kept you alive forever!!!!!! also lynch's weird cryptic storytelling just appeals to me personally bc the way the meaning comes more from the audience's emotional response makes it kinda work on the same level as a folk tale for me, which i loveeeeeeeeeee unpicking; saw a post once about fwwm being structured like the saint's life of a martyr and !!! that is exactly It!

stardust – an all-time favourite, i mean the costumes! the pacing! the fun twists on fantasy tropes! the sheer CAMPINESS of it all!!! the way the plotlines converge in the end WOWED me as a child and to this day every time i watch another fantasy movie i'm like. Well You're Not Stardust Are You :/

& honourable mention to those films always occupying some part of my brain, that i can mouth along with from memory just because they are so comforting to me: tsn, the princess bride, 10 things i hate about you, pride 2014, bend it like beckham, saw (this nearly made the main list but like. too obvious.), the parent trap (1998 version), the karate kid

#hiiii bestie!! sorry i ignored this for a few days! #but i am BACK in good wifi now & Thinking About Movies #asks #americanphysco #also 9 is way too few i'm realising i wanted to put american psycho on here too #but i had to restrain myself bc what i've ACTUALLY been thinking about is the barbie movie version we've made up in our heads 😌 #but fuck it the orig is a fave too put it on the board #personal #long post

[khaleesiofalicante]

"I'm sorry you were not truly loved and that it made you cruel." -Warsan Shire

Great, so we got rid of David-being-the-Prince-of-Darkness problem! Now we have the we-don't-know-who-is one!

Shadowhunters are so stupid holy fuck

Oh, mirror mirror in the sky!!! It makes sense now!!! I support Lexi's idea 100%. But I do feel this is going to leave some issues left...

The irony of finding a way to kill something that can't be killed 🥰

Something poetic about the fact that they are going to use the resources of the Devlins for themselves.... But also there's an itch I can't figure about it...

Jace and Simon are idiots 😂😂 but also, mood

I would like to personally thank you for the throne sex references kshskdjd

They had won. But it didn’t feel like it. For some reason, it felt like the worst was yet to come. yeah this feels odd

He can call Manus just by tapping the floor oh my god kshdkdk

David stop stealing demons and making them pets!!!

I agree killing Mallory would solve everything, but I am proud of my rosewood tho🥺

“Our memories are part of our identities too,” David whispered. “Who are we if not for the memories of who we have been and memories of who we wished to be?” David is a better person than me bc I would take the memories of that bitch right away, but he is also right

I agree with Rafael bc Anjali in that throne would be HOT AF🥵

Yes to Malec solving inmortality nerves in a hell dimension💙

Who tf does Hunter think he is to demand a different trial?? Its so ridiculous is kinda funny lmao

Yeah I don't love that decision either but there's nothing left to do so...

My queen is too good for you❤️

A clean fight. Nice😎 also “Even if we’re family,” Alec said. “You mistake me for someone who gives a shit.” ???? Damn, this man is gorgeous!!!

No Max, she is a crazy bitch, I promise

No one in my life has tried to kill me before, but I don't automatically assume they love me for it, Mallory!!

Yes he met Merlin!!! They are the cutest 🥺💙💙💙

My moral compass is whatever Gigi says😌

WHAT. THE. ABSOLUTE. FUCK. JUST. HAPPENED??????? HOLY FUCK SHIT. WHAT?? HOW??? WHEN?? WHY?? HOW?? ISTG I JUMPED AND I FELL OFF MY BED BC OF THE SHOCK OH MY GOD😭😭 I KNEW IT!!! OTHER MAX IS FUTURE MAX!! Also it makes sense Nico asked for him, maybe he knows warlock math and can figure this shit out?!?!!!

I... I don't know how I am alive after that last part. I have a lot of questions. And I almost cried. And then I went to tell everything to my mom even if I knew she didn't understand shit of what I was saying but I don't care because wtf?!?!!!

Questions (I know you probably can't answer them but I will ask them bc my mind is chaos):

What did Leviathan meant??? Everything that needed to be done?? What does Legacy mean?? Although yes, the competition is not even close, obviously David wins!!

“It’s not a romcom,” Max shook his head. “It’s a love story.” WHEN I TELL YOU MY HEART STOPPED-

Who cried for eleven days??? David?? What did Mallory do?? And how?? And what was horrible enough to make Max do this??

Also the parallels here😭 Louder said first from David to Max, them from Mallory to David and finally Max to Mallory in different context, and Max saying there is nothing that could make him like her but also this and- god I want to make an analysis of this but my phone is dying 😭😭

AAAAAAHHHHHHHH

This was in equals parts satisfying, terrifying and just fucking confusing.... HOW ARE THERE JUST THREE CHAPTERS LEFT???

There is not amount of words or time that can express correctly the feelings I have rn. This was an absolute fave. I am confused. I loved it. I have questions. The quotes were on some other level. Wow. You never not surprise me!!

💙.💙.💙.

But also bold of you to asume I won't come back with more screaming

Aight aight aight. Let's look at these questions.

Oh wait.

The answer for all the questions is "you'll find out soon" lmao bye

#i love you baby bug 💙 #lbaf

[kodiakwhiskey]

If we were a movie, this would be our soundtrack

Summary: after Harry unexpectedly dumps her at the beginning of their 6th year, Aurelia finds some comfort in the unlikeliest of places. (DracoXFem!OC) with a dash of (HarryxFem!OC)

SMUT INCOMING, MINORS DNI

A/N: Here's the spotify playlist if you want to have a listen. (my playlists are never short just an fyi) I'm avoiding all other WIP rn because stress, but I hope you enjoy this super long and basic fic.

Dividers made by Firefly Graphics

Aurelia

October 10th 6th year

I spent a little extra time getting ready today. I went through the horrible shoulder pain of holding my arms parallel to French braid my long hair, I even put on a little bit of makeup. It was my birthday today, and I was more than excited to spend the day with Harry. Of course Ron and Hermione as well, but dating Harry was something special. His green eyes held all of the splendour in the world and I was absolutely head over heels for him. His life was a rollercoaster, and I was along for the ride.

However, my first clue to how wrong today would go, should have been me breaking my nail on the door handle. It wasn’t hard, I was constantly breaking my nails. They were super weak and soft usually, but I had been taking the time to strengthen them and keep a short manicure.

I went to wait for Harry by the Gryffindor common room, like always. It was a morning routine, something I took great delight in. Walking with the trio to breakfast and then to classes brought normality into my life.

I heard Hermione’s laugh as they walked out of the common room, and whipped around.

“Good morning!” She was always greeting me cheerfully, and I was grateful to have a female friend outside of the Hufflepuff house and Millicent. Hannah and Susan were great, but we never had the deep intellectual conversations Hermione and I had. She skipped ahead and Harry and Ron followed shortly after.

“Morning L. How was everything last night after quidditch?”

“Oh they were fine Ron. It wasn’t anything too big, we don’t throw parties like you guys or the slytherins.” I went to reach for Harry’s hand but he kept walking, saying good morning and continuing his chat with Ron. Ok. Weird. We always held hands. I decided to talk with Hermione instead during our walk to breakfast.

Harry pulled me aside as we approached the halls.

“Hey, can we talk for a second?” His words stirred my anxiety and I nodded as he pulled me off to the side, into a little nook in the hallway.

“Is everything ok Harry?” My voice was soft as he finally held my hand, the warmth easing some of my uneasiness away.

“No I um… I don’t know how to tell you this.” My heart sank a bit, but I stayed quiet, not wanting to interrupt. “I don’t think we should see each other anymore.” Tears pooled in my eyes, and I blinked them away as he continued. “It’s not anything you did. You’re amazing and I want you to be happy. I just don’t…” I could feel my heart falling apart and he brushed a tear away with his thumb. “I don’t think I love you anymore.”

What an amazing birthday, am I right? “I see…” My voice was quiet as he kissed me one last time on the forehead.

“I'd still love to be friends, but I understand if you need some space. It felt wrong to lead you on like that. I hope one day you can forgive me.” He didn’t say anything else. He just let go of my hands and walked into the hall for breakfast. There was no way I could go in now. I settled for grabbing something small from the kitchens, the cook in charge giving me a strange look. He was a sweet man. He always treated the house elves as equals and made sure they were taken care of.

He didn’t say anything as I grabbed an apple and some of the freshly made granola bars. The courtyard would be too obvious for me to hide in. I settled for making my way down to the quidditch pitch. If anything I could just watch whoever was practising. After all, it was a Saturday. The Hufflepuff team wouldn’t be practising today. Justin told me he wanted me to have the day off, being my birthday and all. I sat in the stands, leaving my breakfast on the seat next to me, and pulled out a journal from my bag.

In the front was the picture of me and Harry from the Yule Ball our fourth year. That was when we first started dating.

Incendio. The picture lit up in flames and I tossed it aside, letting it smoulder and burn to ashes.

October 10th,

It’s my birthday today. It should have been a magical day I spent with my boyfriend, but instead I got dumped. It’s one of these days I wish Cedric was still here. Maybe he would have tried to cheer me up? It’s for the best anyways I guess. I’d rather be alone than with someone who clearly doesn’t care for me. Tonight’s my party, and I’ll cry if I want to.

I quickly closed the book so none of my tears would smear the ink and stared out at the Forbidden Forest. I wanted to just be sad and filled with remorse, but here I am, angry. How dare he? He didn’t even acknowledge it was my birthday. He just pretended like it was any other day.

I definitely had been out there, crying while I was trying to contain my rage, for over an hour because soon enough some students started coming down. I didn’t care to look. If it was anyone who cared about me they’d make themselves known.

“Aw look. It’s Potter’s little girlfriend.” I wanted to vomit. I didn’t have to look up to know Draco’s sneer when I heard it.

“Don’t call me that.”

“Awww why not. Did he dump you?” I didn’t say anything, I just flicked my wand at him and sent him flying away from me.

“Find someone else to torment Malfoy. I’m not in the mood for these games.” I stood up and collected my things when I felt a hand on my shoulder.

“Hey woah, calm down.” I jerked my shoulder away and turned around to punch the person touching me. Nott was the kindest out of Draco’s little group. “Are you okay?” I shook my head and he chuckled to himself. “Right, stupid question. Did Potter even acknowledge it was your birthday?”

“How did you know?”

“A little birdie in Slytherin told me. Millie was worried when she didn’t see you for breakfast.”

“Nott quit talking to the lowlife.” He turned around and gave Draco a hard stare, before turning back to her.

“She asked me to give you this. She said something about you being the sweetest cinnamon roll.” He handed me a light package, neatly wrapped in green and gold. “Happy Birthday Leonheart.”

As he walked away back over to Draco’s gang I heard the sneers and taunts at him for his kindness. Millicent and I met before Hogwarts. Her parents were family friends, and despite only meeting a handful of times, we got really close that summer before our 1st year. She was indeed one of my best friends. I grabbed my bag, and headed off the pitch going to the Common Room. Maybe I could convince Justin to cancel the party?

I slid inside my room. My father had convinced them to give me my own bedroom, due to my sleeping condition. He wanted to make sure I was safe, and that I wasn’t disturbing the other students. I tossed my bag on the bed and gingerly opened the gift from Millie.

My sweetest Hufflepuff,

Happy Birthday. I wanted to get you way more presents this year, but I saw this and I couldn’t think of anyone but my best friend. Mother and Father send their best wishes for you and your family.

I slipped the note inside my nightstand drawer, not wanting to lose it, and moved the tissue paper around to see a small necklace. A golden chain with a gold and black bee pendant. She truly was my best friend, knowing and accepting my love for the small creatures. I put it on, letting it sit nestled right above my breasts. She also got me a small gold bracelet, the ones that bind to the person. I slipped it on my wrist, and felt the metal shrink to fit perfectly. It was the kind you couldn’t take off and I loved that. She must have gotten herself a matching one.

Love you forever,

Mills <3

Justin said I couldn’t get out of a party just because Harry broke up with me.

“This is a great time to score a rebound!”

I slipped into the dress Hannah and Susan got me, the gold shimmery fabric falling softly over my curves. Hannah and Susan got ready with me, doing our hair and makeup together in my room.

“Harry is going to realise tonight exactly what he’s missing in his life, Aurelia.” Hannah’s voice was soft as she let my braid loose, combing through the waves gently. “Gold is definitely your colour.”

The four of us walked to the Room of Requirement together, Hannah and Susan skipping and holding arms together, Justin walking next to me.

“Just don’t forget about practice in the morning, yeah?” I nodded and laughed a little. The doors opened and the party was in full swing.

“Lia!” Mills came over and hugged me tightly. “You look gorgeous.” She did get us matching bracelets, the same thin gold chain on her wrist. She looped her arm in mine as Justin guided us through the throng of people, and to the back tent.

As Millie was gushing about Blaise Zabini, I let my eyes drift around the room. It was mostly friends from other houses, the entirety of the hufflepuff upperclassmen. Fred and George were probably already smoking in the tent, and I heard something about Justin making brownies. Millie was about the only Slytherin who came into the tent at parties, mostly because it was the majority of Hufflepuff, and the 7th years liked to be 'exclusive'. As Justin pulled the front of the tent back for us I locked eyes across the room with Draco. His eyes burned into mine as he sipped his drink, a small smirk on his face and I felt my cheeks heat up before Mills tugged me into the tent.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" There was a loud pop of confetti, and immediately Fred was handing me a joint, helping me light it. I took a deep inhale and felt one of the girls in our house, Hecate, put a tiara on my head. She was one of my closest friends. Everyone was so sweet, and since everyone had time to get high, they were all stupidly sentimental. Along with the joint, George handed me a muggle beer and I was already being handed a brownie by Justin.

At some point Hecate and Millie dragged me out of the tent, both of them pulling me on to the dance floor to whatever music had been picked out. High me didn't care what I was dancing too just that I was dancing.

Harry

I was nervous. Ron and Hermione already tore me a new one for breaking up with her on her birthday.

"Mate, you know I want you to be happy, but Lia was the best thing to happen to you."

Ron's words bounced around in my head. Luna insisted I come to the party anyways, if I was actually serious about being friends.

I lost my nerve to say anything when she was pulled out of the smoking tent, her friends forming almost a barrier between her and the rest of the party. Seeing her so carefree reminded me of just how beautiful she was.

But I wasn't allowed to think that way anymore. I did just toss almost two years with her aside. I leaned against the wall, downing the rest of my drink. She would get high to forget the events of this morning, and I would be drunk.

Hermione tried once or twice to coax me onto the dance floor and enjoy myself, but honestly I couldn't. How could I? She probably didn't even want me here, let alone know I was here.

When I closed my eyes I thought about her dazzling rose colored eyes, how they shimmered with excitement. Cedric was the one to tell me to ask her to the dance. So I did. How did all that passion fizzle to nothing in a matter of weeks?

"Hey Harry." Luna came over, taking my empty cup and giving me a bottle of water. "You should really stay hydrated." I just nodded, accepting the bottle and she threw my cup in the trash can closest to us. "You should at least wish her a happy birthday. You already got her something didn't you?"

"No… I um… I forgot it was her birthday." The words came up like bile. How could I forget? She spoiled me rotten on my birthday, even going so far as to show up to the Dursleys to escort me away for school.

Hell, even Petunia liked her. Making nice comments about her as we left Privet drive. Luna handed me a small package. "I got two of them for her, but I think you should give her the second one. If you want to still be friends you should make an effort instead of sulking in the corner." She bounced away as I took the box from her, going to toss her own on the growing pile next to the tent all the hufflepuffs were gathered in.

I hung onto the water bottle, but grabbed another beer, attempting to drown my sorrows.

Aurelia

I knew he was here. I wasn't stupid. I saw him downing drink after drink in the corner by the snack table. He was really fixated on the cup. Hecate saw my eyes drift over to him and she pulled my face towards hers again.

"He's not worth it."

"I mean… we can still be friends right?"

"Not when he's sulking and crashing your party. I bet he didn't even get you anything." Mills piped up, returning to our little formation with three drinks."Drink up birthday girl." We toasted briefly and Hecate and I slammed the cocktails down like a married couple, our arms intertwined.

"Also Mills. It's not a requirement to get me a gift on my birthday. Certainly not from someone who doesn't want to see me." I wasn't an idiot. I knew they could hear the sadness in my voice. Hecate took our cups to the trash and I felt a tap on my shoulder as the music slowed to a chiller tempo. I turned around to see Nott, his dark curls softly tousled. The dim lighting made his eyes stand out.

"Hey, can I steal you for a minute?" I glanced over at Mills who eagerly nodded and made a showing motion with her hand, downing the rest of her drink. I felt Nott pull me in by the waist and the breath hitched in my throat. "You know, I wasn't going to say anything, but you're so sinfully delicious you have two sworn enemies staring holes in your dress." I laughed and my hands found their place on his chest.

"Oh stop it. I'm not that pretty." He chuckled in my ear.

"Do you want to make Potter jealous?" I felt my face flush at his deep tone in my ear. "We'd also make Malfoy jealous, and it would be amusing to watch them fight over you."

"Nott, are you trying to spice up the evening?" There was that deep, dark chuckle again from him.

"I just want my best friend to admit he finds you attractive and make a move. Consider it a dual purpose." He spun me briefly and pulled me directly back into his chest, pressing a small kiss to the corner of my mouth. "Of course, I'm sure if we just went to get high it would do the trick, no need for contact you don't want."

"I never said I didn't want it, but honestly a joint sounds lovely right now." He pulled me by the hand into the tent, and I felt like the devil was leading me towards temptation. There was a lot more smoke in here than there was earlier and upon entering I was handed a joint.

We all sat around laughing, going through 2 joints before Nott and I headed back out, Hannah and Susan smirking proudly at me.

They said I could use a rebound. Nott seemed to have that in mind as well.

Mills has found her way to Blaise, the two of them chatting closely over by the front of the room.

Nott continued dancing with me, and I was actually enjoying myself. I didn't think I would tonight. I wasn't concerned with the longing that came from this morning. Of course that could be because of how much we've smoked.

I felt a hand on my shoulder and turned my attention from Nott to Harry, who was standing behind me.

"Do you have a minute? I wanted to talk to you." Nott started saying something in protest but I put my hand up and stopped him.

"It's okay Nott. Thanks for looking out for me." I gave him a small smile and let Harry lead me out to the hallway.

"I'm sorry."

"For which part?"

"All of it. Well not all of it." His hand rubbed his forehead a little, he was nervous talking to me. How did I not notice that this morning? "I'm sorry I forgot about your birthday. I did get you something, but I'm also not sorry about breaking up with you. I." He paused and made eye contact with me. "I still have feelings for Ginny. I definitely could have handled that a lot better than I did, but I didn't really give you an explanation. I should know you better than that." I couldn't cry again. Not at my birthday party. So why was I on the verge of tears? He put a hand on my shoulder, but I shrugged it off.

"Thank you for being honest with me." I turned to walk away when his hand grabbed my wrist, grazing the bracelet. "Harry… Please let me go.

"No. You're not even going to get mad at me? You're just going to accept that I'm a piece of shit?"

"Harry, it's not going to change things. There's no point." My voice was quiet and I saw the door open.

"Hey Potter, I think the lady asked you to let go of her." I wasn't expecting to hear Malfoy.

“Harry. There’s no point to this.” My voice was soft as I tugged my arm out of his loosened grip. “If I have to accept your decision, you have to accept mine. I need some space please.” I ignored the sneers between Malfoy and Harry, and I ignored him putting his arm around my waist, opting to move away at his touch.

I spent the rest of the party getting drunk. The high was killed. It was just Hecate, Mills and I in the tent when Malfoy and Nott pushed the fabric aside. The girls started to protest.

“It’s fine. It’s not like this tent is exclusive. Just when Cadwallader decides he’s here.” Hecate laughed and I felt Mills take the bottle from my hand.

Draco

I don’t know what came over me. I shouldn’t be giving her my time of day in reality. She was Potter’s ex. Nothing good comes out of that. Seeing her so close to Nott made my stomach churn. What was this feeling? Surely I couldn’t be jealous. The haze of the room made her dress stand out more. Her almost perfect hands gripped the bottle of tequila. I couldn’t help sneaking glances at her. What did she even see in him? He was a slimy git, and she was ethereal. The way her body felt in that small moment, pressed against me turned me on more than I cared to admit. How dare he ruin her mood like that? Had he no decency?

The party started coming to a close shortly after, but as long as Nott stayed near her, I had a reason too. Justin had offered to help her carry stuff back to the common room, but immediately after Hecate put everything in a small charmed bag, and she slipped out with Justin.

Blaise disappeared shortly after with Millicent, and as Aurelia started leaving, she was flicking her wand about, cleaning up and putting the ziplock bag of brownies in her bag.

“I should walk you back. It’s late and Filch is definitely around in the halls by now.” I didn’t look at her as we walked out of the Room of Requirement, I heard the jingle from her earrings as she nodded. Halfway down the hall she stopped to pull her heels off, her tiara slightly askew. She was definitely drunk with how she stumbled. I wasn’t surprised though. She did drink an expensive bottle of tequila by herself. I wouldn’t have called myself drunk. Definitely tipsy though. She leaned into me suddenly while walking, mumbling to herself. “You know, it's polite to speak up so others can hear you.”

“He’s such an ass.” She gave a small huff and I couldn’t help the chuckle that came out of me. She was so soft, the skin of her shoulder pressed into me. “He forgot my birthday when I spoiled him for his. I bought him everything. And what did I get out of it? Nothing. I asked for nothing in return. What was even the point of him wanting to talk?” She moved her hands around as she ranted, the spark of rage burning in her golden rose irises. “Did he just want a reaction? Because he already got one this morning. I can’t believe the nerve of that guy. Just to tell me on my birthday that he liked someone else?!” I’d never seen her so angry. She was usually very calm and docile, if not a little sad. “Whatever, he can choose to be with whoever he likes. I honestly don’t even know why that git wants to stay friends. How could he think that’s what I want.” I heard footsteps behind us and slapped my hand over her mouth, earning a yelp of surprise when I pulled us into the cupboard.

“Sh.” She was pressed so close to me. It hurt to breathe, and I heard Filch’s voice calling out. Her face was inches from mine and I moved my hand from her mouth, waiting for Filch to leave. That was when she kissed me. Her hands grabbed my face and pulled me towards her, the cold metal of her ring on my face. I kissed her back. She tasted sweet, her lips were soft like pillows. I didn’t really have that much to drink did I? I was basically making out with a blood traitor. I couldn’t stop, I was addicted to her taste, her touch. My arms were pinning her to the wall, and I pushed my knee in between her legs. Her moans were soft as her hips ground on my thigh. "Potter ever touch you like this?" I let my lips graze her neck. I could have just this one, right? One indulgence. She wasn't technically my enemy. It had only been him. She was just around him. He'd be livid to find out I was against her like this.

"Draco…" My name sounded so sweet coming from her lips and I pulled away, satisfied with my teasing. She was breathless, her face a bright shade of scarlet.

"Shhh. Let's get you to bed." She nodded, her eyes partially closed. I pulled her away and out of the cupboard. "I know your lot is protective of the common room, but you'll need to let me in so I can take you to your room." She nodded and let me guide her down towards the kitchens. When we reached the barrels she tapped her knuckles sleepily on one of them, the lot sliding over to reveal the door.

I picked her up, swinging my arms underneath her leg. It wasn't hard to find her room, her name on a plaque on the door. I set her down on the bed, her hand gripping my wrist as I tried to pull away.

"Stay… please." There was a soft whimper to her sleepy tone and I took my shirt off, sliding under the covers with her.

Aurelia

I woke up with a splitting headache, and a mop of white hair next to me. I peeked up at his sleeping face, the events of the cupboard coming back to me.

What was I thinking? Wait. Did anything else happen? He groaned slightly and pulled me close to him. The soft, crisp scent of his cologne washed over me, lulling me back to sleep.

When I actually woke up three hours later, my bed was empty, and there was a note and a small vial on my nightstand.

Figured you'd need it more than I did. Thanks for last night

I felt my face heat up. There's no way we did anything more than kiss last night. None. I'm still in my dress. I took the cork off the vial and drank it. I rolled out of bed and slid my dress off, setting my jewellery on the nightstand and starting a shower.

I let the hot water wash over me, my mind racing back to last night. Everyone kept saying I needed a rebound, would last night count? I had been too scared to kiss Nott last night, even with my hands in his curls as we danced. But with Malfoy, I hadn't hesitated. I leaned over the dark waters pooling his eyes and I took the plunge. I shivered at the phantom feeling of his hands on my face.

No one in the common room said anything about him when I finally stepped out. Everyone who was there was currently silent, nursing their hangovers. I made my way down to the great hall, glancing at the clocks to make sure it was still breakfast time. I definitely needed some bacon this morning. And a ton of caffeine.

I had my bag slung over my shoulder, deeming it light enough to not choke myself when the strap gets caught like this morning.

“Hey!” I feel a hand on my shoulder and look up to see Nott, a wide grin on his face. “I heard Potter got his panties all up in a twist when Draco touched you last night.” My face flushes at his words.

“He was probably just trying to get a rise out of me.” I said it with a shrug and he slung his arm around my shoulders. He guided me away from the Hufflepuff side of the hall, over to where Millie and Blaise were sitting. Goyle, Crabbe and Parkinson sat nearby, but they didn’t seem to notice when Nott sat me down, gently pushing on my shoulders down. He left enough room on the other side of me for a person, his hand gently pulling me to him.

“Okay so I heard Draco sneaking into the dorms at sunrise.” I almost choked and Blaise gave a hearty laugh. I felt Nott’s warm hand on my back, and coughed into my napkin. It was almost 10 am and I was choking already. “I guess that answers my question.” She leaned forward with her face in her hand. “You need to give me all the details.” I honestly could have been mistaken for a tomato at that point. Not only had I decided to inhale my coffee, but on top of that Malfoy would make me miserable if this went around the school.

“Nothing actually happened… At least I don’t think so. I think he just slept in the bed with me.” I wanted to bury a hole and the ground, and hide in it.

“This could be really good if we can get Draco on board with it. Maybe just exaggerate the details, make it a bit more adventurous, and we’ve got the perfect recipe to make Potter jealous.” Nott seemed a little too excited about this. He usually seemed indifferent towards everyone, so I started to question whether this was for my benefit. He seems like a genuinely sweet guy. I don’t know if I’d necessarily want Draco as a rebound though. If anything went father between us… No. Nope no more. My face kept getting hotter.

“What’s with this tomato over here at our table?” I heard Malfoy speak as he sat next to me, his leg lightly brushing mine.

“Why were you sneaking into the dorms so late last night, Dray.” I glanced up to see his cheeks dusted with a peach colour. He was about to be the same shade of red as me in a minute.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about Millie.” She kept talking about me not remembering last night and his hand brushed my thigh under the table. “Well… I’m not one to kiss and tell.” Millie gasped at his words.

“We have to spread a rumour. It’s going to get right underneath his skin.” Millie and Nott seemed so proud of themselves, but Malfoy’s voice dripped like honey in my ear.

“This doesn’t just have to be a rumour.” His arm pulls me closer. Nott said something about Malfoy liking me. I just brushed it off, but I hardly ever see Nott with anyone else outside of classes. Who else could he have been talking about? Blaise was into Millie, and it was so plainly obvious.

“Fine.” I spoke loud enough to interrupt them, to make sure they understood I had agreed. I turned to speak my next words to Malfoy. “You try anything not agreed on and I will make sure you regret it.” I knew no one took me seriously, but instead of the usual laughter people reacted with, it felt like a spark lit in his eyes. I never noticed how blue they were. So light they were almost Grey, he had a freckle on his iris. It used to be a common sign of someone’s bloodline status. Much like the unusual eye colours could be traced back to ancient bloodlines, freckles and other pigmentation differences could be traced to not only strong bloodlines, but powerful ones too.

“Are you gonna stare at me all day Goldie?” My face flushed again and I turned my attention towards my pancakes. I heard a soft chuckle from him as he pressed a kiss to my jaw. He made eye contact with someone, I could tell by the way his arm tensed, almost like he was flexing slightly “Don’t look now, but I think someone is mad about last night.” I peeked over my shoulder to see Harry glaring daggers at us. It made my blood boil. How dare he? I felt Nott closer to me too. I wouldn’t have the energy for anything else today. It honestly felt sapped already, like it was harder for me to even get out of bed this morning. I leaned my head against Malfoy, uncaring of where we were, or whether people stared. I just needed to lie down.

I would have known I was gonna faint like that, had my eyes been opened to watch my vision fail. I felt a pair of arms grab me, but it felt like I was underwater.

When I regained consciousness, I was in the hospital wing, Draco reading a book quietly next to me, and Nott talking to Madame Pomfrey. No doubt about my medical conditions. My hearing started coming back to normal slowly, the muffled voice becoming clearer.

“You all need to stop drinking. It’s very unhealthy for your age, and it’s always been after one of these stupid parties that Miss Leonheart ends up here.

“I forgot…” Man, my lungs hurt. “Medication.” I had forgotten it. I stashed it the night of the party, mostly because I didn’t want someone to find it and tamper with it or think it was harder drugs. I felt Draco’s hand on my chest and Nott’s expression softened.

“Okay. I can’t guarantee there won’t be any parties, but you have my word that we will not make her drink, knowing it can cause these flair ups.” He sounded so put together. Almost like a lawyer. Almost. He was still human after all. I struggled to sit up, pushing myself a little too far when I felt a hand on my back.

“Don’t move too fast.” Draco’s tone was unusually soft today. And I felt Nott’s hand as well.

“You should try eating something.” Nott handed me a small cup of fruit. “How long have you had this condition?”

“My whole life… It's a blood curse.”

December

Harry

“Harry.” A hand in front of my face broke my concentration. “You can’t just keep staring at them like that.” Hermione had been questioning my choices lately. I’d been assuming the worst of Draco since the beginning of the year, of course that had to mean he needed something from her. There’s no other reason he’d be so close to her otherwise.

“I’m telling you. There’s something wrong about the two of them and I’m going to figure it out.”

She sat next to him, her hand on her cheek, elbow on the table. Were they even dating? Of course word spread quickly about the events of her birthday a couple months back, but there was no way. He’d been unnecessarily cruel to her. Why the change of heart?

It would be so easy to just find a spell to listen in on their conversation, figure out what she was laughing about with him. Draco didn’t deserve to hear that laugh.

I watched as they stood and left the hall, him leading her out by the hand.

Hermione started protesting as I got up, following them out of the corridor.

“Draco, do you… would you like to come with me for Christmas?” I paused and stayed hidden behind the corner, the two of them talking softly a few feet away.

“I… I can’t. I have made plans with my mother since…”

“I understand.” My blood started boiling watching her kiss him. I could still feel her lips on mine like it had only been yesterday. “How… how are you holding up?” Why did she care if his death eater father was in Azkaban?

“I… I’ll be okay Rae.” Now he had a nickname for her? “Please don’t worry about me.” He was definitely hiding something. “Shall we? It’s a great day to go get some butterbeer.” The smile on her face made my stomach churn.

I made my way back to the great hall, grabbing Ron and Hermione. “We’re going to three broomsticks today.” I gave them no chance to protest.

Aurelia

It was hard to remind myself this was only a relationship of convenience. He was impeccably soft around me. It was such a strange shift from his normal bad boy demeanour.

He pulled me into the corner table, sitting across from me. He ordered for us and I pulled one of my journals out of my bag, scribbling musical notes down.

“Rae?” My head popped up to look at him. “I um… Will you be leaving soon then? To see your parents?” I nodded and felt his hand on top of mine. Silence with Draco was comforting. It wasn’t like being with Neville, or the trio. I didn’t feel the need to fill the air with words. In all honesty I’m not sure what our relationship was. He was more than a rebound for me, but I couldn’t just start calling him my boyfriend. We should have probably talked about this. There have been no real clear boundaries…

“Hey Draco…” The butterbeer was set down in front of both of us. “Can I ask you something?”

His eyebrow lifted from over the top of his glass as he took that first drink.

“You’ll ask me anyways even if I say no. You always do.” His quip was light, and I closed my book, leaving the pen inside it.

“True.” I shouldn’t be so nervous around him about this stuff. We made out in a broom closet for heaven's sake. “What… what are we?”

“I don’t ‘do’ girlfriends if that’s what you’re asking.” His usually warm air became much colder, the playful smirk disappearing from his face. “That’s what you were thinking then?” I guess my face must have shown my disappointment. “Well. Sorry to disappoint you, but not after Pansy.” I nodded, my face flushed.

“So…. friends?” His face turned a slight peach colour again. He nodded.

“With benefits.” That smirk was on his face again. “Are you capable of no strings Leonheart?”

“Oh we’re doing last names then.” I was more than half done with my drink, trying to shun the embarrassment out with the incoming buzz. “Yea Malfoy. I’m capable of more than you know.”

I opened my book again. At least I had an answer. I almost spit out my drink when I saw Harry enter with Ron and Hermione. I moved closer to the wall, so Draco was partially hiding me.

“Are you okay?” I nodded but I kept my eyes down on my book. I heard the sharp ‘Potter’ under his breath.

“Please don’t start anything. I just want to enjoy our evening.” His eyes met mine and he sighed.

“Fine. But only because you were a good girl and said please.” He pressed his lips to my hand and threw a glance over his shoulder at Harry. “Don’t mean I can’t tease you. Or him.” Right. This was about getting back at Harry for him. I guess it had been for me in the beginning… But there was something more there. Either way, I’d have to find a boyfriend in someone else and Draco made that clear. When food came, I forgot about him staring at us.

This had to be the best soup I’d ever had.

“You can slow down, you know.” Draco’s voice was light and I paused. I hadn’t even noticed. “You okay?” His voice was low, laced with concern.

“I don’t know. I’m trying to distract myself.” I saw him glance behind him again, Harry quickly turning his eyes to Hermione. “I’m sorry…”

“You don’t have to be sorry that slimy git is stalking you.” His voice was louder than I expected and Harry’s head snapped towards him. “We can leave if he’s making you uncomfortable.” There was no way Harry hadn’t heard any of that.

“Draco please… You said you wouldn’t today.” I hated how whiny I sounded, but I just didn’t want to make this worse. I grabbed his hand, but instead he pulled me up to my feet, leaving more than enough on the table to cover our bill. “Draco…” That soup would haunt my dreams.

He pulled me towards him, and started taking me to Honeydukes.

“Oh so you think I wouldn’t have heard that?” Dammit. I just wanted a nice day today.

“No. Actually, Potter, I was hoping you’d hear it.” Harry had stormed up to him, Draco pushing me behind him lightly. “Do you have nothing better to do? If I recall, wasn’t it you that dumped her anyways?”

“Don’t speak of things you don’t know about?”

“That’s rich coming from you of all people. Didn’t mummy or daddy ever tell you it was rude to harass a woman.” There was a tense pause before Harry’s fist collided with Draco’s face.

“Harry!” Hermione’s voice caught them as Ron pulled him back.

“You don’t deserve her Malfoy!” I had my hands on his shoulders as he tumbled back slightly.

“Draco please… let’s just go. He’s not worth it.” My voice was quiet. I never did well with confrontation and I could feel my anxiety growing.

“Oh and you think you did?” He ignored me, wiping the small amount of blood from his lips. “You think you deserve everything don’t you? Well you already had her and you broke her. So if any of us isn’t worthy of her time it’s you.” Hermione and Ron started pulling Harry away, her eyes swimming with sadness when she looked at me. Draco turned on his heel, his hand gripping my arm, walking swiftly towards Honeydukes.

“Draco please let go.” He had a deep scowl on his face, his nails were digging into my skin. “Draco… You’re hurting me.” His eyes widened as he paused letting go of my arm. He stuffed his hands into his pockets. His eyes cast to the ground. He stopped at the door of the shop, and I laced my fingers through his, my hand sliding into his coat pocket.

“Dear lord woman, your hands are freezing.” I liked it much better when he smiled, even if it was at my expense. “I’m sorry. I know it won’t make up for my behaviour, but I’ll buy you anything you want.” His face was that light peach colour again as he led me into the shop. Most of his remarks as I grabbed candies were comments about me having the taste buds of an old woman. I would just roll my eyes, ignoring his comments. Toffee was amazing and the peanut gallery could shut it. By the time we left I had a whole bag of different candies and chocolates, some to share with Millie and Theo. Maybe Blaise if he was nice. Usually it was specific instances that triggered the throbbing pain in my head and the dizziness, but this seemed to be out of nowhere. I used my free hand to rub my temple, trying to massage the pain away.

“Are you okay Rae?” I tried to answer him, but my vision failed. No words came out of my mouth. "Woah hey!" His arms were around me before I could fall into the ground. "Hey. Shhh" His voice was soft, soothing the whimpers coming from my lips. Then the world went black.

Draco

I didn’t know who else to take her too. I laced my arms under her body and took her to the closest place. Hagrid’s. I tapped my foot against the door, since my hands were a bit preoccupied. When the door opened he stared at me, then looked down to Aurelia in my arms, and without another word took her from me and stepped inside his hut, setting her down on the couch.

“Where were ya at when it happened?”

“On the way back from hogsmeade.” He put a tea kettle on the stove, and draped a warm rag over her forehead. “She said it was a blood curse.”

“Aye, an’ I know who gave it to ‘er” He squashed some herbs down into a paste, depositing it into a delicate mug, pouring the almost boiling tea over it. He returned the kettle to the stove, letting it finish and set the mug down on the table, in front of her. “She hasn't been takin’ ‘er medicine.” As the tea kettle whistled, he poured a couple more mugs handing me one. “She’ll need that when she wakes up, but let ‘er come out of it ‘erself.” I sipped the tea quietly, watching her and Hagrid had started reading.

She woke up about an hour later, reaching for the mug, gently sipping before she tried to sit up.

“Ya really need to start taking that medicine. Those are expensive ‘erbs yer wasting.” She sipped on the tea gently, her expression turning sour. “Well it ain’t supposed to taste good. Yer dad didn’t task me with makin’ sure to keep ya stocked up, just so ya could not take ‘em.”

“Ugh. Fine I get it.” She downed the rest of the cup. "It's not even my fault." Did this ever happen around Potter? Why did that concern me? I was still grappling with my feelings when she stood up, grabbing my hand, stuffing a small bag from Hagrid in her pocket.

"And you, young Malfoy. You best make sure she takes that. With breakfast and dinner. " She pulled me out, groaning and I nodded to Hagrid on my way out the door. The walk back to the castle was quiet, her hand in mine the whole time.

The next few months were spent with me and Theo breaking the capsules into her drink when she wasn't looking. I thought about the way her nose scrunched up when she took that first drink. She was really cute when she tried to be angry with us.

Crabbe had detention and I needed someone to help guard while I mended the vanishing cabinet, so I asked Theo. I kept it vague and just mentioned I had to do it. He kept asking questions, which I ignored, but agreed anyway.

But now that this was actually happening, I realise I should have specified anyone when I said no one was allowed to enter.

"Draco…" I turned around, her beautiful golden pink eyes staring at me. "What are you doing in here? Why is Theo outside?"

"You were never supposed to be here…" I grabbed her arms, scanning around. "Were you followed?" Her eyes were wide as she stared at me. She turned her attention towards the vanishing cabinet. "Aurelia!" Her head snapped back to me and I could see fear growing in her eyes. "Were you followed?!"

"No. I swear I wasn't! It was just me.”

I let her go and run a hand through my hair, trying to count my breaths to calm down. Every time I have those thoughts about her she appears, it’s like a damn summoning spell. I shouldn’t have let myself get distracted. I heard her tapping on the back of the cabinet.

“Rae, I don’t think it’s safe for you to be here.”

“Why? You’re here. Which means it's the safest place in the world.” My heart fluttered at her words, but dammit this wasn’t the time. “Besides, if you’re trying to fix it, you’re going about it wrong.”

“What?” I walked around to the back side of the cabinet where she was standing, pulling the back panelling off to reveal a bunch of cogs and gears.

“You didn’t think these were just magic did you?” She had a playful smirk on her face and she dusted out the cogs, tapping her wand against the big one in the centre. Immediately the gears started moving, just ever so slightly, and a small orb of magic appeared in the centre of the biggest cog. I was stunned to say the least. Mechanical and magic? “I bet if you try it again it will work now. The link was cut off because of all the dust accumulation, and not connecting to it’s twin.” I didn’t have words for once. No witty remarks, but no compliments either. She was deeper in this than I even wanted her to be.

“You stupid girl.” I wanted to cry. I had to wipe her memories. She couldn’t be seen with me anymore and she can’t remember today.

“Draco… What’s wrong?” I didn’t notice she had a hold of my hand.

“You weren’t supposed to find out…” She pulled me in and hugged me. Her touch was comforting and it felt like a dam broke in my mind. I couldn’t be in love with her. There were too many problems. Too much baggage. I sobbed and she held me, my head buried in her shoulder.

“Draco… How long have you been holding this in?” Her fingers ran through my hair, her touch so tender. She let me stay like that, even after I stopped, the longing sobs of agony draining out to dried tears and sniffles. “You can talk to me. You know I won’t judge you.”

“You would for this. It’s too dangerous for you to be close to me right now.”

“Draco… You’re the safest place in the world. Nothing is too dangerous when I’m with you.” When did I become her safe space, and when did she become mine? “You don’t have to talk to me about it now. But please don’t hold all this in by yourself…” I kissed her. Hard, my hand gripping her face. I fought for a dominance I didn’t need, her lips moving intangent with mine. I felt her hand push up my sleeves and I jerked back. It was too late for me to cover it though. She saw the dark mark. “Why didn’t you say anything earlier?”

“You have to leave Rae.”

“Draco you’ve been in pain this whole time I could have helped.” I pulled my arm out of her reach.

“What could you have done?!” She had fear in her eyes earlier, but now she knew how hurt I was. She wouldn’t let me go so easily.

“It must sting still. I can help with the pain.” I didn’t move away as she grabbed my arm. “Draco…”

“He said he’d kill us. My mother, my father, myself. I had no choice.” She didn’t say anything, just lightly rubbing her hand along my forearm, muttering a spell under her lips. She’s been proficient in wandless magic, something we discovered this year in charms. She didn’t say anything, even as the pain went away. She dropped my arm, her eyes on the ground, walking back towards the doors. “Aurelia…”

“I… I can give you space, if that’s what you think you need. You know where to find me…” Her voice was quiet and I stood in place, unsure of what I was waiting for. It was fixed. Which meant I could complete my task.

Aurelia May 15th

Draco hasn’t spoken to me since the room of requirement incident two months ago… I sighed, putting my head in my hands. It was normal though. Everyone pushes me away eventually. Most students would rather leave Hogwarts than be put in Hufflepuff, let alone be friends with one of them. I found myself leaving breakfast early, roaming the halls. I could just go out to the forest today and read. Hermione and Ron had been avoiding me since the incident in Hogsmeade in December. I couldn’t blame them. Harry hadn’t exactly been friendly despite what he said. I switched gears and went back to the Hufflepuff common rooms, slipping into my dorm. Everything from my birthday sat in my closet, untouched. It wasn’t a whole lot, in hindsight. I just hadn’t wanted to go through it. I pulled them all out, unwrapping everything. Most of it was books, some muggle candies everyone knew I liked. One in particular caught my eye. A gift from Theo. The small box was wrapped in an emerald green paper, and inside sat a golden key with a matching chain. I noticed another package with similar paper, and opened that, revealing a journal.

Theo convinced me. The key he gave you will unlock it, and upon locking the ink turns invisible. Neat right?

It was Draco’s handwriting. I saw it every day while we were in potions. I held it close to me, taking the small key and my bag, and left the dorms, going down to the edge of the forbidden forest. I thought I felt a pair of eyes on me, but I didn’t see anyone when I scanned the area.

There was a particular tree, I think Harry had shown me this spot when we started dating. I conjured a blanket, setting it over the root with the drop , nesting into the crook of the tree. I didn’t really have to worry about anyone coming out this far. So I started writing in the journal.

I lost track of time, my only clue being how the sun hit the trees. I could see it starting to set, closing my journal and just watching the light fade.

“You’re not with Malfoy anymore?” I should have expected him to come out here. It was his spot after all. I didn’t say anything as Harry sat down next to me. “I’ll take that as a yes.”

“Why are you here Harry?” I tried not to roll my eyes but I couldn’t even think of what to say.

“Well I thought about saying something along the lines of, I told you so.” I stood up, collecting my things. “Wait.” He put his arm around my waist pulling me close. “What I decided I needed to say was, that I’m Sorry.” I stopped and wiggled out of his grip, turning around.

“For which part? For treating me like dirt?”

“Look if I had known…”

“Known what? That I was sick?” I thought about how great Theo and Draco had been, tears pooling and clouding my vision. “I don’t want pity. The last thing you needed was to worry about me. Nothing happened because I didn’t stop taking it until after you dumped me.”

“Well you moved on pretty fast.”

“It was a rebound Harry!” That was a goddamn lie. I told him no strings attached, but they had been attached that whole time. When did it start? “I just. I want to be left alone. I need it. I’m not going to be back next year anyways.”

“Wait… what’s going on?”

“My father. He thinks he found someone who knows a cure. But he didn't want to take any chances and decided to pull me out of school. I’ve been approved to take a gap year.” The air felt thick. I flinched when Harry moved to touch me.

“What happened to us Lia?” I couldn’t help the tears. I had known everything would have to end regardless. I just hoped I had more time with him… I didn’t flinch away when Harry pulled me into a hug. He couldn’t comprehend what I was dealing with, although I never asked him too. “I’m sorry. I know I can’t take anything back. Almost two years didn’t scare you? It started to feel permanent and… I got cold feet.”

“I wasn’t scared of anything. Not at the time. Now? I lost the only thing I was scared of losing.” I pulled back a bit, picking my stuff off the ground. “I’m sorry too Harry. “ His hand held onto mine a little tighter. “I hope you know that when the day comes, I’m still a part of everything. Just call and I’ll be there.” I left it at that, heading back towards the castle. I had to see Draco. I had to be honest. Friends don’t buy you random gifts, or bribe you with chocolates. Friends don’t look at each other the way I look at him.

I paused at the entrance to the dungeons. How would I even know he would be there? It wasn’t like there was a doorbell or anything. I looped the key around my neck, tucking it into my shirt, and put the book in my bag, moving it to my shoulder as I walked. If the universe allows it, I will see him today. There will be a magic moment where tangents meet.

“Theo I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I paused. That was him.

“You think I’m an idiot? You opening up to someone is like there being a second lid on something.” This did not sound like a conversation I wanted to interrupt. “You had the perfect opportunity to just tell her how you felt and you blew it.”

“You don’t know anything, so don’t act like it!”

“I’m supposed to be your best friend, and you can’t even tell me what the real issue is? You know I went through that as well! How am I supposed to help you when you can’t even talk to me.”

“I can’t have this conversation with you. If I fail it’s everyone. Do you understand? That includes you and her.”

“That’s why you’ve been avoiding me?” Draco’s eyes met mine as I rounded the corner. “I thought I did something wrong.” His face looked like it broke in two. I guess it was round two of the water works.

“Rae…” His hands came up to my face brushing the tears away. “You couldn’t do anything wrong. Not in a million years. Nothing would make me think any less of you.”

“I would have had to leave you anyways…” His lips grazed my cheek. “My father… he thinks there might be a cure but… I’m not coming back… We’ll be in Amsterdam for 5 months and no one thought it would be beneficial for me.”

“Rae…” He kissed me, soft and sweet. “Why didn’t you say anything? That's great isn’t it?” I felt Theo’s hand on my shoulder as Draco pulled away.

“I just… I…” I got distracted by the face Theo was giving me, looking up at him. “Can… Can I have a moment?”

“I thought we were having a moment.” I giggled and cleared my throat.

“Just um… Just me and Draco please?” I half whispered it, trying my best puppy dog eyes. He smirked and turned around, walking towards the painting, and sliding into the common room. “Draco, I love you. And I was scared. I don’t love you like I loved Harry. It was a whole lot more, and it was on a way deeper level and I’ve never felt like this before.” His jaw tensed, but I continued. “With that being said, if you had told me… I would have understood.” I put a hand up to his cheek, pulling his stormy grey eyes to mine. “I understand more than you know.” His lips came crashing down to mine, his arms tight as a viper around my waist. I felt his nails dig into the skin, and a small squeak came out.

“We need to talk more.” His voice was raspy and breathless. “In my room.” He pulled away, but only to pull me up to the portrait, whispering to it and took me straight up a second set of stairs towards the prefect's rooms. I didn’t have time to look around before he was pushing me against the door, his lips on my neck. “I can’t tell you. I can’t say those three dumb words back to you because the minute I do, he will know. But I can show you and say it in other ways.” He pulled away and pulled me over to his bed, sliding my shirt off. I could feel his mouth mumbling praises into my skin as he touched every inch of me. He started pulling my skirt off, his mouth finding my breasts and leaving deep purple marks. I couldn’t breathe, it felt like his touch ignited a fire in me. I was so lost in him. Everything he did reeled me in. The emotions were overwhelming at times. I moaned when I felt his tongue press into me, not realising he had taken my panties off. He smirked against me, and I wove my fingers into his hair. I gasped when I felt his fingers slide into me. I had my eyes closed, afraid if I opened them this would be a dream, and it would just be me, alone in my room again.

“Look at me.” His length rested against me, and I turned my head, opening my eyes. “Your name suits you.” His lips met mine again. “You are absolutely made of gold.” I blushed and he started pushing inside me. He shushed my whimpers, kissing me softly. “Keep looking at me Rae.” I opened my eyes and he bottomed out inside me, giving a guttural groan. He paused, kissing my cheek, letting me adjust around him. When my hips moved, he started thrusting, slowly at first, whispering sweet praises in my ear. I ran my hands through his hair, his movements getting faster. “You’re such a good girl.” He moved my face with his hand so our eyes met. “You take me so well.” I don’t know if it was his movements or the praise that turned me into a moaning mess. I never imagined my first time to be like this. Not with him. His touch was so gentle. It always was. He was never gentle with anyone else. His movements got faster, more frantic.

“Draco… I’m…”

“Go ahead.” He kissed me so sweetly. “You can cum for me.” Both of us were a moaning mess, him spilling over at the same time, buried to the base inside me. His lips felt hot and heavy against my skin, nipping lightly. I wanted to stay like this. Just the two of us. “Rae…” His dark, stormy eyes met mine and I felt lost in them again. “Can you wait for me? I swear, once all of this is over I will tell you how I truly feel.” His lips came down on mine again. “I swear it.” Just tonight, just for tonight I could have this one moment. This one perfectly, simple moment in my life, where the man I love, loves me back. I nodded, pulling him back down to kiss me. I would die tomorrow if it meant I could just have this one moment.

I left Hogwarts the next afternoon. Father pulled me out so we could get ready for our ‘excursion’ as he phrased it. I didn’t get a chance to see Draco before I left. I hoped last night was enough for him. I hoped he finally understood.

“What’s got you so distracted sweet pea?” I had been staring out of the car window the entire drive from Kings Cross.

“How did you know it was mum?”

“What do you mean by that?

“What was the moment you looked at her and decided no one else would ever compare?” There was a bit of silence as he pondered the question, my hand resting on top of the journal.

“I guess it would have had to be the night I met her in Diagon Alley. Even as a teenager your mother was exceptionally beautiful. Despite every single guy in the Leaky Cauldron trying to get with her, the only one she talked to for more than a couple sentences was me.” I know talking about mum hurts sometimes, but this wasn’t a tone he normally spoke about her with. “I think that’s the moment I started falling for her. That was our last year at Hogwarts. Did I ever tell you how I proposed?” He looked over at me and I shook my head. “I was a bumbling mess about it to tell you the truth. We had been together for 5 years at that point, and her mother, your grandmother Clara, made it very apparent we had to start tying the knot. She gave me her old wedding and engagement ring to give to your mum and she said ‘You would be a downright fool to not keep this woman for the rest of your life.’ So I took her words very seriously.” He laughed at the memory, grabbing my hand in his. “It took me 10 tries to perfect the proposal. I ended up Just asking her one day at the grocers. I realised there was no perfect time. All you have is the here, and the now.” There was no perfect time… I didn’t realise it at the time, but that phrase would stick with me, for the rest of my life.

#draco malfoy smut #draco fanfiction #draco malfoy fic #draco x oc #harry potter fanfiction #harry potter #harry potter fanfic #hp fanfiction #hp fanfic #harry x oc

[you-cant-spell-subtext-without]

I’m back on my bullshit and we have GOT TO TALK about 13x08 The Scorpion and the Frog; which serves as a good example of why you should not ONLY watch spn episodes with Cas (partially because of that scene I shamefully blogged about earlier - no I will not link that cursed post here).  The episode title comes from a fable in which the villain is the scorpion.  Interpretations of this fable note its uniqueness lies in the concept that “the scorpion is irrationally self destructive and fully aware of it.”

To quote the scorpion, buddies -  “it’s in my nature.”

Anyway, this episode is subtextually predicated on exploring Dean Winchester’s nature and specifically - his bisexuality, and I’m not only saying that because it opens with Dean in his Bi Colors Plaid (that also he wore on his burger date with Cas).

Let’s get started, after the cut!

Season 13 on its face gives me absolute whiplash because it starts widow arc-reunion-TOMBSTONE and then Jack yeets himself off to Chuck knows where so Cas can go out Looking For Him Because Otherwise He Will Definitely Kiss Dean there is no other option for the writers at this point.  Sigh.  Here, have another shot of Dean anxiously cleaning his gun as he always does when Cas has Gone Off For Reasons -

Anyway, this feels like a filler episode at first, but as always they bury the ENTIRE damn world in it and I am here with my dossier to Unearth It.

Lets start with Bart (demon of terrible nicknames and microagressions) meeting the brothers at Smile Diner to talk about some spell or whatever. 

(I am not thinking about the Cherry Pie meta I AM NOT)

THEY HAVE THE AUDACITY to start with these lines immediately introducing the theme of duality, a thread throughout this episode.

BARTHAMUS

Everything. I've been following your careers a long time. You're a real pain in the pitchfork. And the halo. Natural disrupters. We have that in common, you and I. DEAN

Mm. Yeah, we're twinsies.

***MORE DUALITY!  But as we know, Dean does not like Bart because He Is A Freakin’ Demon

DEAN

Well, see, here's the thing. When a demon tells us to jump, we don't ask how high. We just ice their ass.

UMMM excuse me Barting Bacting Boices?  What is that sexual gaze?  

Then we find out that Bart has 1/2 of the spell.  They need the other 1/2.  Oh, a spell with two parts, you say? [ I am going to scream :) ]

***Also, Dean eats the pie Bart ordered.  I cannot begin to explain to you the state of unwellness that I am in regarding how important this is. DEAN NEVER GETS TO EAT THE PIE, remember?  But in This Filler Episode, Dean eats the pie. While Sam looks at him with a very quizzical expression.  Pie -> what Dean wants but never actually gets -> Dean actively eating this pie.  Dean is coming to terms that maybe he can have what he wants.

***I am reminding you again that this is post widower-arc, post-reunion, and especially post-Tombstone.  Anyway-

Now we get to Smash and Grab.  Not literally even though I want to Commit Such Conduct at this point.  We are introduced to two one off characters named 

Smash (human/female presenting) -  can crack any safe built by man 

and Grab (demon/male presenting)-  expert in bypassing supernatural security.

Reaching or no, you can’t disagree that when spn introduces one off characters - it is almost always a Narrative Parallel or Mirror.

So we have a human and a demon (and Dean Winchester, a human who has been a demon)

who are experts in cracking open/bypassing something that has been secured and guarded (breaking down walls, if you will).  

They also use fake names identifying them as Tools to be Used ( Dean Winchester, the Michael Sword/daddys blunt little instrument)

BONUS:

Dean himself is literally used as a tool in this episode.

So yeah.  Smash and Grab are physical representations of Dean’s duality.  Human/Demon.  Femininity/Masculinity.  Dare we say something else, too?

Anyway, Dean is paired with Smash and Grab; Sam is off to idk negotiate weird artifact purchases lawboy style with Luther Shrike, a man who cannot die so long as he never leaves his house (I cannot even begin to unpack this shit; please just sit there and think about it.  I’m not even going there here.  I CANNOT DISCUSS Luther Shrike RN).

Speaking of things I cannot discuss without halgdhsag;lsa - Smash has very Specific boots (a look overall, really).

DEAN

Hey, Winona. The '90s called. They'd like their shoes back. SMASH

Shh.

***That’s right girl - do not take his shit; he actually LOVES them and is therefore Overcompensating for it with this little jab.

***Dean’s pop culture references and particular attention to the details here Should Not Be Overlooked.  90s! Winona! Ryder!

ANYWAY, then Dean and Smash bond over a caffeinated beverage -

[While Dean is doing a spell, Smash opens a can of drink, takes a mouthful and burps loudly. ] SMASH

Ahh. DEAN

You're weird.

***This scene makes me literally insane. (even aside from Dean living on something named NERVE DAMAGE as a KID.  They could have called it anything. You’re saying this wasn’t a Choice)  

She chugs a swallow of the drink and burps.  Something stereotypically associated with masculinity.  Not feminine.  Dean’s reaction is that she is “weird” - because she is not acting in a way stereotypically, J*hn Winchester brain-rot patriarchy bullshit-tily associated with Being Female.  But also, says the stupid show, they like the same soda.  They are The Same.  She shares the soda with Dean.  HIS FACE WHEN SHE DOES -

Other similarities are addressed throughout the episode (they are working for demons because they have no choice; they don’t discuss feelings/emotions, they both sold their soul, they both This Thing - 

DEAN

You know, we could help you. SMASH

No, you can't. I gotta take care of me.

etc. etc.) Smash is absolutely dean-coded.

****Also it’s textually established that Smash thinks Dean is attractive -

GRAB

[looking at Smash] Oh. You said he was just a pretty face. SMASH 

Shh.

***But Grab flirts with him too.

DEAN

I will kill you. GRAB

I bet you say that to all the girls.

***sorry, Grab - you won’t get far with Dean, but only because as he mentioned in the beginning of this episode - 

Drowley rights.

Now Dean has to put his hand in the mouth of this stone lion thing and all of a sudden he is acting....very-not-like-Dean.

[Dean looks again and takes a deep breath.] DEAN

I… how about this? What if I cut myself, put it on, like, a little piece of paper? We'll just wad it up and throw it in the mouth, okay? Okay. 

***Dean Winchester, who has been to Literal HELL, who has been torn apart by hellhounds, who has battled the devil and angels and God’s sister - all at the expense of his own life is now - afraid of spiders.  Well, technically he has always been afraid of spiders, but why isn’t ‘he being performative about it At This Time??

***Come to think of it, this sends me right back to how Jackles was playing Dean in 12x11 Regarding Dean THE episode dissecting Dean’s performative masculinity [one day I will clean up and post that analysis sitting in my drafts like a sad hamster]. That makes sense actually, because -> -> ->

that episode and this one are both written by Meredith Glynn.  Girl get in I want to torture you affectionately with a barrage of questions.

So here we have Dean and he’s not performing for Reasons, and he’s scared he’s genuinely scared of putting his hand in this stone lion-gargoyle-pig-creature’s mouth and then -

Smash gives him a push.

She gives him a push.  I cannot stop thinking about how she gives him a push.  A push to go do this thing that he is scared of; his fear being something he was hiding under his performative masculinity. Smash - dean coded dean mirror who does not perform femininity and is ‘weird’ -  she   gives   him   a     p u s h.

***linking here for the jackting joices that follow.

Now, let’s circle back to Smash’s story; why she is working for Bart in the first place -

SMASH

You think I wanna be here? Like I have a choice? SAM

You made a deal. SMASH

Wow! You think? SAM

You sold your soul. SMASH

And if I could take it back, I would. 

there is no reason for this picture here other than I needed you to see the jackting again

***How does the story end for Smash?

DEAN

Take care of you. [Dean glances down at the box, and then at Smash. She sees that Dean has put a lighter on top of the bones.]  BARTHAMUS

Alice, chop chop! 

[Bart indicates she should get his bones]. SMASH

Yeah. [She grabs the lighter and sets Bart's bones alight. Bart screams as he bursts into flames. ] 

***She accepts help and breaks free from the narrative, literally burning it down. The female presenting but not female-performing “weird” ooc representing a side of Dean breaks FREE because she makes a choice.  The lighter Dean drops? It’s a push.  And she goes with it.

Alice reclaims her story.

(Also, Grab gets ganked.  The male presenting ooc; the performative masculinity side; the demon; the darkness; the not-humanity - gets ganked).

Guess what Dean says to Alice when they say goodbye?

DEAN

Hey, Alice. Stay weird.

[I know the peace sign is probably just a Charlie throwback but I’d still like to say duality.  Two. ]

Dean’s not just talking to Alice.  He’s talking to himself; because the walls have been breached and for once Dean isn’t as scared of being different.  Maybe, just maybe, he’s going along with the push.  That’s exactly how the episode ends - with Dean feeling a little more hopeful, a little more at peace; a little more Considering he is capable of not only loving Cas but also not hating himself for it. 

[until the knowledge that Mary is still alive and the guilt of allowing himself ANY happy thoughts instead of looking for her miserably rears its ugly head in 13x09 and round and round we go but for NOW at least -> ]

DEAN

I'll drink to that.

(oh look Dean is just wearing his henley.  It’s almost as if a layer has been peeled back).

tagging @im-shaking-like-milk​ and @deanwasalwaysbi​ for letting me ramble on to them while writing this; and @lilac-void​ because you are always so kind about my stuff :)

#my spn meta #spn analysis #spn 13x08 #bi!dean #destiel #deancas #hellerism #spn #supernatural #spn fandom #spn family #spn meta

[icy-blue-rose]

Okay I just HAVE TO get this off my chest right now.

I was watching the new episode of 2.43 seiin koukou danshi volley-bu, and well, I decided to check out the comment section because hey! I want to hear what other fans of the series have to say, liked, and so on.

Instead however-

I was met by the most horrid comment section it reminded me why I usually dont actually interact with the anime community (and usually just talk to myself or make posts like this one that nobody will read aha)

But shit, I like, felt so uncomfortable.

Now before I rant a bit, if anyone skimming this may get offended let me make something clear.

If you just arent into the series, or don't like the show/series, then that's fair.

I have literally no problem if you dont like the show, or are simply expressing that you just dont like it and list your own reasons, I completely respect people's opinions and right to openly criticize series, even if I dont agree with it.

However, the following, while I wont actually attack people for it, just made me so uncomfortable for liking the show that I had to talk about it.

So here we go.

2.43 seiin koukou danshi volley-bu is not a sports shonen and so you shouldnt expect it to be written and animated like one.

People are free to say they dont like the animation, artstyle, or way the series is written, we all have our personal tastes.

But, like, it felt like non of the people commenting had a single brain cell.

No I am not exaggerating.

This series is written is a very particular way, one that I'm ABSOLUTELY loving.

I'm not fond of most writing styles and usually have a hard time reading novels but this one I particularly enjoy.

However, it felt like everyone was bashing it for how it's being written, not understanding what the author is doing or setting up, not even understanding the basic structure or style the author has used for their series.

It honestly made alot of the people complaining sound really dumb, no offence, but you all sound stupid.

Then there were our typical HUGE swarm of "ewww gaaaay, omg he blushed, omg so cringe, ewwww"

Which I mean, every sports anime has so I'm used to the endless flood of these types of comments but I find them really annoying because dont get me wrong.

I'm Queer.

I like LGBT anime/manga but I also really enjoy Yaoi and Yuri in it's pure ridiculous form at times (not I'm not saying all BL or GL is the same, I dont think I need to get into this rn)

And of course I enjoy shamelessly shipping and headcanoning characters as well, whatever I want because it's fun and I am aloud to HEADCANON all I want.

So or course I like to jokingly ship sports anime characters for fun, even if I dont genuinly ship it , or sometimes do.

Because I like certain relationship dynamics they can have that are never explored in anime/manga.

However, being serious for a second, I dont genuinly go around saying characters are "Gay for sure 100% yeeee"

People blush at their friends. People and characters can have deep bonds and relationships that arent romantic whatsoever and can STILL feel more like a romance than a real romance, despite it not being intended in that way at all.

It's so stupid to bash a character for "ewww gaaaay shit" when they blush at, someone they genuinly care about and have a non romantic relationship with?

Idk it just makes them seem dumb, internet trolls suck and I usually ignore them, I just feel like complaining today.

In the end I must say, the most annoying group of people in the comments were, as any 2.43 seiin koukou danshi volley-bu fan has seen, the fucking haikyuu fandom.

I feel like I should note that I love haikyuu, I do, it's great, for a sports shonen I do enjoy it alot.

After all I do love me some sports shonens.

But haikyuu fans need to buy some brain cells or critical thinking abilities.

Listen, to all the normal haikyuu fans like myself, I salute you and this is in no way direct towards any of you.

It's for the....other ones.

Haikyuu and 2.43 seiin koukou danshi volley-bu have a couple things in common.

Volleyball

Their source material started getting serialized around the same times

Some character designs look similar.

And I'd say that's about it.

Neither one "copied" a premise from the other.

Okay? Haikyuu fans? For fuck sake? Can you stop "omg they really are running out of ideas huh"

"Omg this is a haikyuu rip off"

"Omg this is a watered down shitty haikyuu knockoff"

I'm going to shoot myself I swear to god shut up.

No.

No.

And fucking no.

It isnt. They started coming out in the same few years, and start completely different, a knock off? How?

I dont even see it one bit.

Now on the topic of some similar character designs.

To put it in a way haikyuu fans would understand, I've seen over 12 Kageyama "lookalikes" in anime, ones from LONG BEFORE haikyuu, and long after.

It's literally a common thing in any media platform, but we've all seen the same character design used before in diffrent shows.

It's not new, character designs were not stolen, please get a fucking brain cell.

Also he looks more like Saiki.K in most of the anime shots in my opinion.

Now, if you like haikyuu and you're looking for another sports shonen to

Live up to the hype, have the same premise kinda or just that awesome animation and typical sports shonen storyline you love to fill the void until another haikyuu season comes out.

Just feel like watching another sports shonen in general.

It isnt the show for you.

Now if you want to check out a volleyball show, check it out and form your own opinion on it and for the love of god dont compare it to haikyuu.

It's a sports drama.

If you like shes like Stars Align, Battery, or even Ahiru no Sora (which I feel has a nice balance of sports and drama, rather then focusing on either category, it balances both really well) then this is a show for you to check out.

I've watched I think 4 diffrent baseball anime? Maybe 5?

I never once compared them to each other while watching.

While comparisons are fun to do! I love reading about parallels, series that inspired other series and examples of how it was done and all that awesome jazz!

It's not the same as actively comparing a show to another one while you watch it.

Especially when they arent even in the same genre category.

Anyways this probably seems like a pointless rant but the comment section actually crushed my week long built up excitement for the new episode, cause I had the misfortune of opening it first to see who else was hyped and enjoyed the episode, only to find well, all of this crap.

And fans like me who tried to politely digress and explain how the writing style is different than the average sports series, or explain why it's written how it is, alot of them got met with SWARMS of more ignorant and just plain ride comments.

Also all my "you're fucking stupid" comments in this rant, are directed towards those people in particular.

Now if you are simply genuinly confused about why there are time skips, why it's written how it is, or any other things, this is not directed at you.

Not at all.

Not understanding a writing/directing style is a completely innocent thing and there are many fans who would be happy to explain it.

The hate is directly towards the arrogant, annoying, internet trolls and haikyuu fandom who has been getting annoying lately? Especially about this show.

#2.43 seiin high school boys volleyball team #2.43 seiin koukou danshi volley bu #2.43 #2.43: seiin koukou danshi volley bu #opinions #rambles

[frenchphobic]

long fucking post on why a c!dream is a shitty person and probably should not have a redemption because it is unpog

honestly i just want to refute dream apologists thats why im making this post. i think that dream as a villain is interesting but i think that trying to make him out to be secretly a good guy is just bad ngl. also /roleplay and all

tw for abuse and mentions of suicide

dream as a villain

dream is a villain. he is chaotic evil according to wilbur, deliberately does not stream to appear less sympathetic (and yet), and is set up as an antagonist to tommy who bears the title ‘hero’. dream is not a good person, no matter how you look at it or try to justify his actions.

‘but he wants to unite everyone to be a big family :((’ the ends dont justify the means believe it or not. having a vaguely positive goal does not excuse the actions you’ve done. it also goes hand and hand with saying dream is correct for punishing tommy the way he did because he acted up. if i socked you across the face and then suddenly said ‘sorry there was a roach on ur face’ does that make it okay? probably not i still punched you, enacting an unnecessary amount of violence. thats a very simple analogy i will admit and there are more complex comparisons. another example off the top of my head is say a child just scribbled all over you walls with crayons. would hitting them be a justified answer? if u said hes thats really fucked of u go seek help u loon. violence as a punishment is very toxic, just because it gets the job done does not mean it is okay. at the end of the day, you still committed this act and the harm you caused is real, having a good motive doesnt suddenly make it okay.

‘but tommy causes all of the conflict’ the disk war wasnt even caused by tommy, it was sapnap and then tommy got involved. and the reason why tommy even caused conflict was because of the discs, because he wanted them back. and most of the time there was a level of antagonism from another party, such as schlatt exiling him, dream taking the disks in the first place, dream threatening l’manberg. and if dream wanted to end the conflict so badly, why didnt he just give tommy back his disks? tommy upfront said everything started with the disks, so he wants them back so he could end the conflict. notice how after tommy got his disks back he has been staying out of conflict, apologizing to everyone, and the only bad thing hes done is try to scam people but everyone does that. this would have been the most peaceful option, yet dream chose the path that would further antagonize tommy which then draws everyone else into conflict. why did dream need to have leverage over tommy so badly? why did he want to hold power over tommy so badly? its because of control, and that’s ultimately dreams end goal. sure he wants a big server family, but would said family have a free will?

‘but dream is sad’ the thing is dream is completely at fault for everything that happened to him. he pushed away sapnap (and george ig). he tried to take control over the server and their possessions. literally everything that happened to tommy. literally everything involving ranboo. villains can be sympathetic, i am not arguing against that. but it does not mean that they should be left off the hook. that doesnt mean u should ignore the shit theyve done because ‘oh no theyre sad’ because it doesnt make anything better. dream had this shit coming for him.

now people also skirt around calling dream an abuser. which is fair ig, its a very loaded word. its much easier to say manipulated. that being said, dream can classify as abusive. and no, tommy is not abusive. abuse is about control and a power imbalance. dream has power over tommy, but tommy does not have power over dream, at least not in the way dream does. he’s taking back power to stand up for himself, dream uses power to control.

the reasons i listed for why dream is from the Domestic Abuse Intervention Project so if u want a source on that, there you go.

using coercion or threats: dream often threatened tommy, such as the pit thing and often employed violence on him. while normally this could be attributed to Normal Minecraft Player Go Smack. minecraft mechanics cannot always translate to real world since violence is pretty normal in minecraft however we also need to consider the context of the scene. dream gave an order, tommy refused, dream applies violence, tommy submitted. thats why its a threat, it has tangible effects that can correlate to real life.

using intimidation: dream blew up logsteadshire as a punishment. dream also destroyed tommys items anytime he visited. dream also hit tommy with his axe i believe. he killed mushroom henry, one of tommys pets.

Using Emotional Abuse: dream guiltripped the shit out of tommy for just hiding things and pinning the blame on tommy for just wanting his own private items. he definitely played mind games on tommy, pretending to be his friend. honestly i probably dont even need to go as in depth because it was so obvious.

Using Isolation: putting him in exile in the first place. destroying the bether portal so no one could visit tommy anymore. i really dont think i need to expand upon that.

Minimizing, Denying, and Blaming: dream in tommys stream when he got trapped said that exile wasnt that bad. he does shift the blame onto tommy for logsteadshire being blown up, even though dreams reaction was entirely unjustified for not listening and hiding.

Using Economic Abuse: see this is where i attempt to parallel minecraft mechanics to real life. obviously, there is no monetary system in place, so when i mean economic, i will use valuables such as armor, food, etc in place of currency. the idea behind economic abuse is to limit the victim’s resources so that they are dependent on the abuser and cannot escape. dream only really allowed tommy to have the armor he gave him while not giving access to armor so he does not regain a sense of power, and in the prison stream, dream holds all the potatoes which puts him in a position of power over tommy. this argument is more ambiguous i feel cause the whole minecraft mechanics thing is kinda weird so u don’t necessarily have to take this part in.

i feel like i need to emphasize this very strongly because dream is not a good person. abuse cannot and should not be a response to someone. its an awful mentality to have. i just want to prove the point that dream is not a good person, his reasons absolutely do not justify his actions.

what makes a good redemption

redemption arcs are tricky. when done right they are great. when done poorly, its a slap in the face. rn im going to establish a formula to what makes a good redemption with an example.

the most well known example of a good redemption is zuko from atla. first, its the magnitude of what theyve done and why. zuko did commit some shitty actions, since he was in a position of power in the fire nation but its because he is a child being abused and wanted to regain honor. zukos real awful acts was season 1 and the whole betrayal thing. thats not to say that zukos actions suddenly are okay, he did shitty things. but its something that can be traced to a higher entity or seem less malicious then the other villains. the thing also about the magnitude of actions is that there is a certain point of atrocities that there is no redemption. some people simply cannot be redeemed because the actions they commit are so ingrained in their character or the action itself has serious moral issues that it would just be wrong.

the next is acknowleding what they did was wrong. a genuine reflection on the self and analyzing what they did and why it was not okay. zuko realized what he did to uncle iroh was bad for example. he turned his back on his father, realizing he didnt and shouldnt seek acknowledgment from someone as heinous as him. its pointing out your actions and going ‘hey, this wasnt right i should not have done this’ and not even excusing ur actions. its also going straight for the root of the problem and figuring out to stamp it from the source. just because a character is sad does not mean they are reflecting, sometimes they are attempting to garner pity. it has to be direct and clear acknowledgement of the injustice.

and finally, an important part about redemption arcs is the actual redemption part. its when you make amends. zuko made amends with katara by trying to help her get revenge, he fought against the fire nation and tried to make things more peaceful in his rule. he apologized to iroh. an important part of the amends section is that it does have to be a genuine desire to change and become a better person, not to change a person’s perception of you. the thing is u cant expect a person youve hurt to forgive you. you cant expect people to be sympathetic towards you nor should u attempt to make urself sympathetic. u shouldnt be expecting a pat on the back or an award. redemption is about internal and character change.

why dream should not be redeemed

ive already established the key points to a good redemption (imo) but heres where dream falls short. his actions are extremely heavy so redemption may not even really be possible. abuse is not something you can wave off so it does cross to the point of fucked up. acknowledgement of what he did was wrong? all he said was that he changed, yet never explained why he changed or was too vague. he needed to label specifically what he did and bring it up. attempting to make amends? he’s been doing the exact opposite in fact he continues to manipulate tommy and ranboo. its not a genuine change. he is still repeating the cycle and has given no indication of ceasing. at the moment he does not have any signs of redemption.

and the thing is most of the attention around a dream redemption comes from either justifying his motives (which i do want to emphasize does not make anything suddenly okay) and because he is sad in prison sad face. these are not good reasons. its gonna pain me severely to bring this up but snape from harry potter does have some form of sad character ig yet he very much abused his authority to bully children as old as 11 just because he said ‘aight gonna die’ doesnt suddenly make his general bigotry and abuse suddenly okay there is a threshold. again im so sorry for using harry potter as an example none were coming to mind and i needed a popular one i do not like harry potter please dont say i do i would pass away.

and the last thing to consider is the audience. keep in mind that the audience is composed of minors and while yes there are adults, minors are the main component of the fandom. keep in mind that there are quite a few people who can relate to tommys character because they might be in the same position or have gone through his experiences. tell me what kind of message does it send to that audience that abusers can be redeemed. this is not a narrative u should push to this audience in these situations and the writers are seemingly aware of it. remember how in exile tommy spiraled into a suicidal mentality? consider how fucked of a message it would be if he just committed suicide instead of escaping abuse and attempting to recover from his experiences. tommy did an excellent job in not going that route and having a message of ‘it will not get better’. its the same thing here. victims are not obligated to care for or forgive their abuser, and portraying an abuser as sympathetic might fuck with the message a lot, even change their perception in that ‘oh, maybe my abuser was right, maybe they had a reason for treating me the way they did’. this is not to say that every victim watching this will internalize this message, but people also look up to these characters. there can be a degree of influence from the story onto oneself and thats the dangerous part.

conclusion

all in all dream is a shitbag asshole and probably shouldnt get a redemption because it would not be pog thanks for coming to my ted talk.

#dream smp #dsmp #tommyinnit #dreamwastaken

[perltiaqo]

then do a part 3!

(also wdym pretty crucial scene?)

ok somehow this is still going on so favourite small jake and amy moments, part 3!

here’s the link to the first 2 parts if ure interested:

part 1, part 2

“everything’s fine” scene-

starting off with an emotional scene! when i first watched this scene, i cried SO much. just seeing jake say that with that weak smile, knowing that yes he feels more comforted talking to amy but he still doesn’t know when he’ll actually get to properly see and talk to her :( this broke me and even now if i were to rewatch the scene, i will cry i definitely will.

jake and amy talking about their experience babysitting terry’s kids-

this is basically the first time we hear them talk about kids tgt, so ofc a memorable moment. but something i love about this scene is not just how u can tell they love kids, but jake’s smile while amy talks about kids. he definitely was thinking about the future in which he has kids with her! literally that’s the smile of a man who wants to have kids with her! and amy’s enthusiasm was the absolute cutest my bb 🥺🥺 anyways yea such a cute scene and now they have their own kiddo 🥺

the way jake and amy look at each other before they kiss in the s6 finale-

i mean we can all agree that we were all mad about this scene, cuz we didn’t get to see the kiss. but sometime i love about this scene is how they just look at each other and decide “hey i wanna kiss you rn”. all those mfs gotta do is look into each other’s eyes they really can have a whole convo by just looking at each other. (also amy’s so cute in this 🥰) they had no reason to kiss but they did cuz they just love kissing each other god. (i also understand they most probably kissed cus dan goor wanted to play around with us but im not considering that)

jake putting socks on amy’s feet on the coldest night of the year-

anon reminded me of this scene and i cannot believe i didn’t add this sooner!! it’s always the smallest things that i absolutely love so knowing this small detail just made me so 🥰💝💕💗💞💖💝. and that fool didn’t even take credit for it ifkdjjfjdjd. love these glimpses of domestic peraltiago

when they find out they’re having a boy-

THEIR EXCITEMENT WAS THE ABSOLUTE CUTEST SERIOUSLY TO SEE THE BOTH OF THEM THAT HAPPY MADE MY HEART MELT SERIOUSLY! they’re so cute in this ☹️☹️ they love their little shrek so much and this scene is just proof of how excited they were to meet their little baby (amy went from making the decision to give up trying to finding out she’s having a baby boy in the same room 🥺 so many breakroom parallels can be made)

jake helping amy get up in lights out-

fun fact: when i saw this in the promo, i broke down and cried so much i’m not even joking. it wasn’t even a one second clip but i actually broke down. cuz of the way they smile at each other and how they seem SO IN LOVE! and amy’s baby bump 🥺🥺 so mac is technically in this scene too. whenever i watch the ep i play this scene over and over like at least 10 times it’s a problem. but i’m obsessed with this small scene like if i wanna mention a small peraltiago scene, it’s a must i bring this scene up!

#i could still go on help #i really have that many #do y’all like these though? #i have fun making them! #fav small jake and amy scenes #b99 #brooklyn nine nine #jake x amy #peraltiago #amy santiago #jake peralta

[redcolored]

hey  besties!  im  cc  and  im  ecstatic  2  be  here.  this  is  the  dumbest  bitch  alive,  cherry  and  i’m  so  excited  to  write  them  again  as  they’re  a  bit  of  a  revamp  <3  as  a  psa,  i  have  their  career  claim  as  paris  hilton  n  it’s  mostly  just  her  silly  memes  n  early  2000s  attitude  vs  her  actual  reality  show!  anywho,  pls  like  this  for  plots  <3

˛ ⠀ * ⠀ ★ ⠀  ROH  JISUN  .   DEMI  GIRL  .  THEY/SHE      ⧽ ⠀ have  you  seen  the  786  latest  post  ?  sources  say  they  have  some  serious  dirt  on  the  child  of  a  big  time  OIL  EMPIRE  HEIR  AND  HIGH  PROFILE  SOCIALITE  .   they  haven’t  revealed  who  it was  yet  but  my  best  is  on  RI  CHAE  -  WON  !  ever  since  that  last  update  about  how  they  BROKE  UP  A  ROYAL  ENGAGEMENT  (  ‘  ON  ACCIDENT  ‘  ) .   i  don’t  put  anything  pass  them  .  i  mean  ,  these  celebrity  kids  are  just  out  of  control  .   they  do  whatever  they  want  ,  whenever  they  want  and  are  ungrateful  in  the  process  !!  i  mean  take  CHERRY  for  example  ,  they’re  a  TWENTY - THREE   year  old  SOCIALITE  ,  and  what  did  they  do  to  get  there  ?  have  famous  parents  !  like  hello  ,  just  because  you  BECAME  THE  (  SECOND  )  MOST  FOLLOWED  PERSON  ON  INSTAGRAM doesn’t  mean  you  actually  deserved  it  .   i’m   glad   the   786   is   taking   them   down   a   notch   .   it’s   about   time   someone   does   . 

full   name     .     ri  chae-won alias(es)   +   nickname(s)   +   title(s)     .      cherry  (  derived  from  being  called  chae  ri  during  childhood  ),  dumb  bitch  (  lovingly  ),  instagram  user  cherryzooted,   preferred   name     .     cherry age   +   dob     .     twenty  -  three,   july  1 natal   chart     .     cancer  sun,  cancer  moon,  cancer  rising  .  so  ...  good  luck gender   +   pronouns     .     demi  girl  +  they  /  them  /  she  /  her orientation     .     graysexual  +  grayromantic birth   place     .     seoul,  south  korea hometown     .     silicon  valley language(s)   spoken     .     in  order  of  fluency:   korean,  japanese,  english,  french  –  conversational  dutch  +  mandarin accent     .     100%  valley  girl  accent,  plays  it  up  these  days,  but  normally  just  sounds  californian occupation     .     full  time  hot  girl,  full  time  story  updater,  full  time  responsibility  avoider,  full  time  twitter  personality,  undercover  heiress  trying  to  girlboss  her  way  to  a  ceo  position parallels     .     karen  smith  (  mean  girls  ),  brittany  s  pierce  (  glee  ),  on  the  flip  side:  ransom  drysdale  (  knives  out  –  in  the  ...  two  faced  way,  not  the  murderous  way  ahaha  ),  fallon  carrington  (  dynasty  ), 

they  are  old  money,  truly.  their  mother  is  a  high  profile  socialite  who  comes  from  an  enterprising  family  (  think,  owns  ivy  league  university  enterprising  and  has  stakes  in  every  field  imaginable  )  while  their  father  is  an  oil  empire  heir.  of  course,  her  parents  got  married  for  money  and  for  reputation  –  and  in  their  wildest  dreams,  had  one  (1)  child  that  they  hoped  would  be  an  heir  to  their  titles.

except,  their  child  was  cherry  and  she’s  the  “dumbest  bitch  alive”.  cherry  was  born  on  the  first  of  july  and  had  a  platinum  spoon  in  their  mouth  from  the  very  first  laugh  they  gave.  cherry  was  really  given  everything  from  the  moment  she  was  born  to  this  very  day  –  private  tutors  (  all  who  quit,  thanks  to  her  ),  private  chefs,  nannies,  trainers,  anything  that  she  could  want,  she  got.

so,  a  bit  of  a  spoiled  brat  and  actually,  not  as  dumb  as  she’d  like  the  world  to  believe  she  is.  quite  an  unfound  genius,  but  as  a  teenager,  started  to  go  viral  on  early  tumblr  and  instagram  and  even  vine  due  to  a  certain  image.  it  started  honestly  as  a  joke  where  she  would  pretend  to  ask  questions  that  are  so  absurd  just  to  see  how  people  would  respond,  but  as  the  early  internet  is  –  they  took  her  seriously.  so,  she  just  ...  kept  up  with  it.

to  this  day,  their  social  media  is  mostly  one  big  satirical  account,  but  since  they’ve  been  doing  it  for  so  long,  people  just  go  along  with  it.  in  reality,  they’re  a  lot  more  cunning  than  people  think  and  definitely  getting  ready  to  succeed  the  company  from  their  parents  (  after  all,  they  just  got  a  masters  degree  from  princeton  –  which  made  her  instagram  followers  kind  of  confused  but  they  just  said  that  they  were  in  a  silly  goofy  mood  and  shouted  out  their  favorite  tutors  ).

her  cunningness  is  the  reason  why  she  accidentally  broke  up  a  royal  engagement.  the  story  goes:  cherry  uploaded  an  instagram  story  where  a  certain  royal  prince  was  spotted  in  the  background,  half  naked  on  their  bed.  they  said  oopsy - daisies  and  then  put  it  as  a  highlight  on  their  instagram  for  like  forty - eight  hours  before  saying  oh  my  word!  and  deleting  it.  apologized  profusely  after  the  engagement  was  called  off  and  then  went  on  twitter  to  say  my  bad.

anyway,  current  day,  is  enjoying  the  last  few  year(s)  of  their  socialite  life,  continuing  to  push  an  image  that  gets  them  the  most  traction  and  engagement  online  to  really  bump  up  their  image  n  views  before  they  ultimately  retire  from  social  media  to  become  an  oil  empire  +  clean  energy  +  university  heiress.  if  this  doesn’t  make  sense,  idk  either.

personality  wise     .     i  feel  like  it’s  absolutely  no  secret  to  the  inner  circle  that  they’re  not  as  ditzy  as  they  seem  irl.  they  can  definitely  be  more  than  catty  and  very  aggressive  aggressive  to  get  what  they  want  –  as  they  fail  to  ever  beat  around  the  bush.  an  absolute  villain,  cherry  knows  what  she  wants  (  an  empire  )  and  really  has  no  trouble  stepping  on  people  to  get  there.  that  being  said,  even  if  they’re  a  bit  of  a  villainess,  fails  to  ever  find  the  heart  in  being  catty  and  mean  to  people  who  don’t  deserve  it  –  i.e.  the  kind  and  the  good.  anyway  idk  what  i’m  writing  i’m  delirious.

wanted  connections  include     .     unholy  trinity  (  open  to  2  ),  academic  rivals  (  if  they  ever  attended  school  together  or  uni  –  she  went  to  brown  undergrad  +  princeton  for  grad  school  ),  pr  friends  /  relationships,  someone  constantly  featured  on  her  instagram,  fake  enemies  on  social  media,  somebody  they  surpassed  on  instagram  in  followers  and  then  tagged  them  n  said  “haha  im  sorry  <3″  on  their  story,  (future)  business  partners  /  associates  (  in  secret  though  because  rn  she’s  still  “not  an  heiress”  ).

#786intro #this is short n puny but im also short n puny so its fair

[reynie-muldoons]

'Depends on the Wagon' liveblog!

I saw someone do timestamps in their liveblog and it was absolutely lovely, so I think I'll try that too

1:55 why does Curtain sound like an mlm ceo LMAO

2:07 WOW ASSHOLE 😂😂 waving off your own teacher when he was complimenting you is not the vibe

2:17 so Dr. Curtian is only available through chain emails. Got it.

2:27 he seems like the kind of asshole to say that people on welfare are lazy and exploitave but then like, not pay his taxes

2:42 I DON'T LIKE HOW HE SAID THAT, THAT WAS CREEPY

2:47 oooooh Constance, always asking the right questions

3:05 Kate, why are you yelling, it's literally past curfew 😂

3:35 oh hai Jackson.. gtfo

4:22 oh yeah, the best way out is through the hallway that Jackson just entered. Good plane, babe.

4:25 soooo Kate Depending On Friends arc :)

4:59 AYYY HI RHONDA!!

5:13 why do I kinda fucking love then all deciphering the Morse code together

5:20 so the kids use the gemini riddle? Not the adults???

5:36 his face when he figures it out 😭😭😭

5:46 Nathaniel? Guess that's Dr. Curtain's name now. Less ridiculous than Ledroptha, but you dont get the badass Let Drop the Curtain reference

6:53 okay so no one knew he had a brother? But he did???

7:21 his faaaace 🥺

7:29 AWWW HE COULDNT BRING HIMSELF TO SHARE 😭😭😭 okay I'm kinda on board with the change if they can make it work in the long-haul

7:42 hi Milligan, good timing 😂

7:56 "not the time.........I'll take a dozen" Number Two my LOVE

8:23 interesting. I dont think Mr. Benedict was adopted in the books? He certainly didn't let Violet's family, the Hopefields, because he knew their financial troubles would be even worse. So who?

8:54 ohhhh dear, stages of grief at work. Maybe don't do that

9:05 I talked about this in the MBS discord server, but I think the show is really nailing Mr. Benedict's feelings. He's always been an emotional person, but he has to be so careful. Bottling up your feelings only leads to bigger feelings later. It makes so much sense for Mr. Benedict to be a whirlpool of strong, repressed emotions.

9:11 MILLIGAN'S FACE JAHAHS

9:34 RHONDA'S FACE HAGSKDGDJ

9:40 Mr. Benedict, sweetheart 🥺❤

10:01 "brothers stick together" why does it sound like he's talking about Reynie here 😭😭😭😭

10:12 that is a good ass point, Mr. Benedict already lied to them once

10:21 it makes sense for Sticky to be the one questioning the most because of his anxiety, but damn

10:46 AWWWWWW

10:56 KATE MAKING A BED FORT KATE MAKING A BED FORT KATE MAKING A BED FORT

11:00 I dont like how aggressive Kate is but it makes sense considering she's been in the circus for years, taking care of herself for far longer than she hasn't. She's not good at depending on people, and she's not good with difficult people.

11:10 Yeahh, Constance gets it!

11:40 Yeahhh, Constance gets it

12:55 that teacher seemed pretty nice last episode, nice to see that they're not what they seem just the same as Dr. Curtain lol

13:28 CONSTANCE I LOVE YOU 😂😂

14:00 "check again" okay so Krista from the tests and Martina give off the same vibe.. perfect 😂

14:16 "yeah......hang in there :D"

15:05 all of the apologies to the general class.. he's such an anxious sweetheart. He's really reading as autistic to me.

My sister just called me 😑 it's like 8 am, I answered her like "did you ever consider that you might be waking me up?" She did not consider that 😂

15:22 Martina's face just growing more and more annoyed and disgruntled HAHA

15:29 that was CORRECT?? WHAAAA

15:51 throwback to when I compared Dr. Curtain to an mlm ceo.. definitely like a cult

16:44 ohhhh Martina

17:30 CONSTANCE HEARING VOICES HELLOOOOO

18:22 ayyyyyy helper man

18:40 he seems too cheery to be a helper .-. The helpers all being super sad made [redacted]'s story make a whole lot more sense

19:35 aaaand now we get to it. You know, it really does seem a lot more cultish on screen than in the book

19:53 WAIT CONSTANCE GOOD JOB PUTTING THE PIECES TOGETHER 😂😂😂😂

19:53 that cut to Milligan making that exact face was INCREDIBLE

20:05 was he tryna leave? Yeah, good fuckin luck bucko

20:10 "critical papers at home" my ass, they packed everything up

20:24 the stages of grief back at it. 🥺

20:38 their relationship >>>>

21:00 "located in the..?" *description of envelope* "located in the....?" *more description* "located in the????" 😂😂😂😂

21:34 ohhhhh Thursday must be the student ranking day

21:56 Martina seems like the kind to throw out "pick a god and pray" as a crit quote 😂

22:07 I don't see any of the Society'a names on the list. Maybe they havent been there long enough

22:17 OH SHIT JK THERE THEY ARE

22:25 ohh Kate and Constance

22:55 the combination of the ferry horn and the bell makes it weirdly grim

23:55 them bringing Kate up and reminding her that she's needed 😌✨

24:29 hi Milligan bb ilyyyy

24:35 real good lookout guys, y'all are so well hidden

24:52 AYY HE'S DOING IT KATE STYLE

26:31 "visionary" is a word for it

26:31 I really kinda love that Number Two and Rhonda are going to such depths to try and help Mr. Benedict figure this out for sure

26:56 Mr. Benedict fully walking away while they talk about his brothers accomplishments 😂 I'm laughing, but poor guy

27:08 his FACE 🥺

27:28 HERE'S THAT TANTRUM FROM THE TRAILER

27:28 take your guesses how many times will he fall asleep

27:50 "he just has to work through some things" you dont fuckin say

27:55 you mean to tell me he had a full blown meltdown and they didn't show him falling asleep once??

28:35 like father like daughter 😌✨

29:10 ayyyy secret desk compartment

29:19 honestly I'm surprised there were actually papers he needed and it wasnt an excuse to go confront Dr. Curtain

29:32 oh shit, how'd they manage to get that far inside? No one was there to guard it, but the maze itself is a security measure

29:42 KATE STYLE STRIKES AGAIN

29:47 ooooh I like Dr. Curtain's office

30:01 WAS THAT SQ AND DID HE JUST CALL DR. CURTAIN HIS DAD

30:41 birds have careers. Got it 😂

30:50 JOURNAAAL

31:02 the fox?? Reynard the fox???

31:27 ohhh here we go, Dr. Curtain sees himself in Reynie only to resent it later

31:37 Mr. Benedict called Reynie a leader once too.. the parallels have ✨begun✨

32:12 is this the "keep your enemies close" conversation??

32:15 I'm honestly surprised he called him Sticky and not George

32:42 IT IS SQ IT IS SQ IT IS SQ

32:59 sooo that starts by not letting his caution down with you

33:11 Dr. Curtain congratulating himself mid-conversation on saying something deep is so in character

33:20 "I was betrayed by someone very close to me" so that was Mr. Benedict. Who the fuck else would it be

33:23 WHAT DID I SAAAAY

33:31 oh noooo Reynie starts doubting Mr. Benedict here? Is that the move?

33:43 that transition was so pretty stoppp

33:53 again how hasn't he fallen asleep

34:55 ayyyy journal snooping

35:05 Constance, my love, you are cut throat

35:11 Milligan is in the DRYWALL? ohh buddy be careful

35:21 omfg are they talking about water polo 😂 I love that that's the sport of choice

35:51 ayyyy they put the Milligan dots together too. Shame the guy's not with them rn

36:36 so Mr. Benedict brings up cheating first? I really like how we get to see the adults riddling out what to send back, we didn't get that at all in the books

37:46 I LOVE THAT THEY KEPT "don't get caught"

38:51 Kate riddling out the island schematics engineer style is so like her

39:07 they're just walking out the door?? Huh???

39:29 babe... turn off your flashlight

39:33 AND THAT'S WHY

39:58 is that the precursor to chuckroot?

40:38 the papers were from his orphanage 🥺🥺🥺

41:14 why does that break my heart

41:19 Dr. Curtain and SQ doing shit together it just.. so heartwarming

42:00 HAHA

42:16 okay, so show!Curtain is a kissass 😂

42:35 wait wait wait so Dr. Curtain is actively trying to contain his brother? That would explain why the Recruiters were looking for him and weirdly not the kids

43:25 "power wants to be free" sounds more like a personal mantra than a conversation between engineers

43:41 YES A LETTER TO MISS PERUMAL

44:02 more voices. Poor Connie girl 🥺

44:36 he loves her so much 😭😭😭

44:45 SHE TRIED TO SEND HIM A CARE PACKAGE

45:13 WORRIED MOM TIMEEE

#mbs liveblog #mbs disney+ #depends on the wagon #mysterious benedict society #charity's talkies