#things can and will get better though | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

barkingangelbaby · 5 months

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no but I miss smoking weed I miss being high I miss intentionally dissociating I miss feeling numb I miss not having to think I miss existing in a space without physically feeling it I miss I miss I miss

#I'm not afraid to admit i have issues with substance abuse probably #i smoked weed for literally half of my life #i think i was smoking a q a week before i quit #just zonked out i did not exist i was not a person #and i know it's good for me to have (mostly) quit but damn #with the way my moods have been lately i just want to get stoned out of my mind and pretend i don't exist #not suicidal i just. do not want to be.#things can and will get better though #but fuck fuck fuck do i wish i could get stoned without feeling like my heart's going to explode #don't read this next one #tonight i miss doing pills even tho it's been like 4 years since i did last and i know that's a bad road to go down again #but fuck i just want to be n u m b and i don't want to drink as much as i did in december #someone punch me in the face #u didn't read any of this #dumb dumb #delete later

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aalghul · 2 months

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jason doesn’t feel guilty for the murders he committed!!! he can’t feel catholic guilt or want repentance or atonement for something he doesn’t feel guilt about! and there are dozens of religions we could explore jason in that would be so much more fun than catholicism or any type of christianity

#if catholic jason has no haters then im dead #i think everyone can have fun with characters and do what they want but christianity is my line #if a character has been cursed with it in Main timeline then rip them let’s do our best #but jason wasn’t christian in any main timeline so! the only time jason todd is touching a cross is for the aesthetic #im going to hold everyone’s hands and look everyone in the eyes when i say this: there are other religions #jason IS a character who’d be interesting if made religious. but there is more than one religion in the world #christianity is so boring on jason. lets get creativity yeah #shoutout to the cool catholic priest flashpoint jason arts though #everybody else: let’s get it together please. we can do better #not to mention that every christian jason thing i see is so exactly what helena has already done in canon that even i can’t defend anyone #from the ‘stealing canon helena’s character for fanon Jason’ allegations. and that’s my full time job im talking about #jason todd

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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 6 months

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Thank you all for voting in the poll to decide who was going to be the leader of the band! It turned out to be such a close race!

#poorly drawn mdzs #better drawn mdzs #mdzs #madam lan #A-qing #Band AU #(Reminder that Madam Lan's design inspiration goes to Qourmet!)#Madam Lan may have been the winner per vote count but there were so many strong advocates for A-Qing!#I played around with a few versions of what the 'poll winner' art was going to be and ultimately decided I wanted them both.#As any good theater love knows though - The battle for leadership was a ruse. They *all* get a chance to be featured.#Cooperation was the real end goal! However I do think these two have the best frontman energy of the group.#Or at least 'crowd favourite' energy. I also really loved hearing what people thought their vocal styles would be like!#This was probably one of my favourite polls to do and I love drawing these characters a lot B*)#I'd love to spend a bit more time in this AU so count on me bringing it back.#One thing I keep feeling like I need to redeem myself on is Madam Lan's Translucent skirt. I have *not* done the concept justice yet.#It is such a crack-platonic ship but I want to think Madam Lan and A-Qing would enjoy each other's company.#Possibly also with JYL as well. They can be like mutually beneficial therapy dogs to each other.#Madam Lan never got to see her kids grow up into teenagers after all. She only had sons. Never daughters.#Even if she saw her kids once a month we do know she treated them with so much love and kindness.#She would bite the shit out of YZY for yelling at JYL. What a sight to see. A-Qing would also start biting (for fun).

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silusvesuius · 6 days

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stuff heavily referenced from clive hicks-jenkins' art cus i've been rly into it lately 🥰

cute idea scribblings for the last drawing..lol

#tes #skyrim #talvas fathryon #neloth #my art #stylized small pupils look good on neloff #and kinda off topic but he would really benefit from wearing robes that aren't tied around the waist LOL it would give him more of a -#- powerful look .. mmrp #i'll never be able 2 do wat clive can do but i think i came pretty close #using the materials dat i have #i like all of these though :) pencil makes me happy #whenever i draw traditionally i always have something smart to say abt art in my head but then i forget everything i wanted to say #i wanted to add text to the last one as well but i'm not well versed in how clive would use text in his artworks yet && tbh it looks -#- better w/o it #if i did add text .... it'd say: “first love” :)#how cute :)#and the last btw #😂#i'm really not sorry for drawing nothign but nelvas rn but i will come back to other stuff once i'm not as packed w/ work #when i'm in stress i just like to draw the things i'm used to for now #these drawings r so big my tumblr is gonna kms over them get over it bitch

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blueskittlesart · 2 months

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deeply refreshing to see someone critical of Swift who also like, genuinely likes her. Like i'm neutral to positive on her, but the online discourse has been absolutely rancid. flipping between "Taylor Swift has never done anything wrong ever and she's a fucking genius" and "Taylor Swift is the worst lyricist of all time and also a bad person" is exhausting, so thank you for like. nuance or something lmao

not to make it serious for a sec but i genuinely think that being able to like things that are bad is really important. like I think that it's an important skill to be able to look at something and see what you personally enjoy about it and then take a step back and acknowledge that objectively it's flawed. and to also be able to acknowledge that liking something isn't necessarily an identity or a moral stance. and i think that fandom space in general could really benefit from more people taking the time to learn how to do that. it's okay to like things that are bad

#people ask me sometimes why ill occasionally talk about something i like and then go 'but it's bad' and the answer is usually because it is #i love teen wolf. i love genshin impact. i love detective conan. and i fucking LOVE taylor swift. that doesnt mean theyre good #it just means i like them. and recognizing their flaws actually helps me better identify what i like about them!#it's like. in my mind bad > good is the x axis and i like it > i dont like it is the y axis yk. they're not mutually exclusive #tldr it's not that serious. we can all relax a little #irt taylor swift i do also think she has done some real harm to her fans in enabling them to deflect all criticism of her as misogyny #and i don't think it's fully the fault of these people who are parroting that response bc so much of her marketing has deliberately #reinforced this idea that to be a swiftie is to be a part of a sisterhood and that any attack on taylor is an attack on all of those women #who are in that in-group. when that's obviously not the case. but she's marketed herself as. for lack of a better term. 'girl music'#to the point where it makes her fans feel as though any criticism of the music or the woman responsible for it is an attack on their #personal experience of womanhood/girlhood/sisterhood/etc. and that's how you get all of thess bad-faith accusations of misogyny #i don't necessarily think this was her deliberate goal with her marketing tho because like. on first glance such a strong sense of communit #among fans sounds like a great thing. the friendship bracelets i got at the eras tour movie are really genuinely special to me.#but it does present a problem when your fans are unable to separate how they feel about the community and experience your music has fostere #from how they feel about you as a person. especially when you are a billionaire who absolutely CANNOT be above criticism in this economy #anyway. tldr i love taylor's music and i don't think swiftie hivemind is as deliberately malicious as it may seem #but it's obviously necessary to be able to take a step back and look objectively at what you're participating in.#anyway stream ttpd or don't idc <3 #taylor swift

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scificrows · 9 months

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i like to make fun of murderbot for being all "i hate everyone, i don't care about anything or anyone, fuck off" while simultaneously caring very much about the people around it and the situations it finds itself in. i love how it "accidentally" ends up caring quite a lot about the friends it makes along the way. but i think something that i tend to forget is that murderbot actively decides to care - at least at some point in its story.

idk, as a person that struggles with depression, this paragraph from artificial condition really resonates with me. prior to all systems red, murderbot had contracts. it had routine and it had protocols. it knew what it had to do to just get by, how to perform so no one would notice it had disabled its governor module. it was deeply depressed, yes, but it was functioning (for lack of a better word). in artificial condition, murderbot's routine is gone. it cannot go on in that state of numbly going-from-contract-to-contract, putting in as little effort as possible, consuming media to cope. that option is gone because it escaped (and note that escaping the company was not an active choice, it kinda happened to it). murderbot has two options now: it can either gather all its energy; actively do something new and difficult and distressing; change something in its life and try. or it can let the numbness and the emptiness take over and stop trying. if murderbot wants to survive as a rogue secunit, it has to try. no matter how difficult that is. the wording in that paragraph really hits home for me. the way the non-caring sees an opportunity to slip in and to take over. does murderbot even care? does anything really matter? is anything really worth the hassle? wouldn't it be so much easier to just let your mind slip away a little, to go numb, to be passive, to watch media and wait for things to happen to you? wouldn't it be nice to stop thinking and struggling and feeling complicated things? to stop making an effort? you've been dealing with a lot lately and maybe it's time to just shut down. maybe you'll just take a little break. just slip deeper into this chair and start the show. time flies when you're not paying attention. trying is exhausting. who cares if you don't do the things you wanted to do, you were supposed to do. it'll be fine. let's just ignore those things for now. just let the non-caring take over. just stop thinking. you can deal with the aftermath later. just watch your shows. who cares. but murderbot cares. it decides to care. it decides to fight with all it has and i think that is so brave. and i think in the later books caring is less of an active decision for murderbot. once you start caring, it's easier to keep going than to stop; and murderbot, for all its "i'm a grumpy rogue secunit, leave me alone" behavior, knows just how important caring is. so it's not that it doesn't know what's happening; rather, it lets itself care. tl;dr: caring is not the default for murderbot, it's just the more difficult of two options. and it decides not to take the soft option. it decides to struggle. it decides to care. and so it does.

#sorry i'm rambling i'm a little depressed rn (hah) and i've been thinking about murderbot again #at least writing this got me out of the adhd/depression paralysis :) yeah this might be self-indulgent so what #the murderbot diaries #murderbot #𓄿 #i just love martha wells' writing for things like that #and i love murderbot as a character so very much #also i'm pretty sure some of this could be read in a way i did not intend #i'm not trying to say that depressed people have the option to just not be depressed #or that it's as easy as going “okay well i can either care or not care... i guess i should care! done!”#listen i know it's not like that; i know that first hand #but murderbot had just enough energy and fight in it to try and it had people in its life that cared about it and helped it #and it managed to get out of that deep dark hole #and we see it struggling with trauma etc in the later books #things are not magically better #just yeah #okay imma add #tw depression #tw suicide #(this is not about suicide though; this is about sitting on the couch while the dishes and the laundry pile up #and watching netflix because getting up and taking care of yourself and calling a friend or going outside are too difficult)#(but i can see how this might hit a little close to home if that is something someone's struggling with&better safe than sorry)#also sending lots of love to everyone who this resonates with

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sadisthetic · 4 months

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BURST💥

#get fucked eardrums #first caption i thought of was 'music's too loud' but like it didnt have the punch.#anyways i keep on doing terrible things to this man youre welcome btw #hi fi rush #chai hi fi rush #hi fi rush chai #my art #this is a side comment but i bet chai could still fight to the music even when deaf (temporary or otherwise)#bc im sure he can like Feel the music through his body even when his ears are out of commission #like not only is that the case for a lot of Deaf people in reality but also #as a headcanon i think his player in his chest would let him feel the beat even better so #so i think if this were a permanent thing hed be super bummed and uncomfortable with the silence at the beginning #feeling weirded out by how he has to navigate the world now #but i think he'll adjust and come to terms with it with only mild difficulty #music is still a part of him (literally)#its just different now #(though language is another matter entirely)

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canisalbus · 4 months

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sorry im emotonal and going off of the other asks sent about machete and just i need to stress how beautiful it is to me that machete sees himself so undeserving of love and affection and feeling as if vasco's too good for him but despite all that he is so incredibly devoted to vasco and loving towards him (in his own way) but is so incredibly clear to anyone with eyes that just how in love he is with vasco. like it's not done out of a "oh god please never realize that you're too good for me here here let me overdo it with the affection" its done with the "i love you, and will always love you, no matter what happens to us or separates us, and i will give it to you as long as i am able, and if you ever leave, i won't be okay, but will still love you, and want you happy". like he doesn't use his own feelings of being undeserving taint his love or the way he loves for vasco, and it's so, so beautiful

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#;M;#oauhh #that's so sweet I'm in shambles and so glad to hear all of that #sometimes I worry about whether I'm communicating their chemistry correctly #it would be so easy for this sort of relationship to gain suffocating and possessive and overall just abusive tones #and even though you could argue it would be a source for juicy drama I just don't want that #Machete could selfishly exploit Vasco's care and altruism without giving anything in return #or worse let his paranoia and jealousy get the better of him and end up destroying them both because if he can't have Vasco no one can #and Vasco could leverage his influence over Machete to manipulate and use him because out of them two he's the more mentally stable one #and it would be easy to take advantage of Machete's vulnerability obedience and his trust that Vasco would never harm him #but I don't know maybe it's a bit tropey and idealistic but I really just want these dogs to be genuinely good for each other #they have so many things working against them already I don't wish to see them backstab each other as well #they have a bit of a 'us against the world' thing going on which I really like #they're not perfect there's issues they're trying to work on but the will to get through it together is there #and I want to make it seem like they wouldn't hesitate to prioritize the other one's happiness and wellbeing at their own expense #if it came to that #anwered #anonymous

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averlym · 6 months

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fairest of the fair

#hi! im alive and back and etc.#six the musical #six the musical fanart #katherine howard #thinking of that post going 'i think eventually you become the person you needed most' and like maybe that's the thing with my art #this started out as a redraw and <improvement meme> i think i've finally reached the stage where i'm making the things that my younger self #aspired to create. like i can do this now! i've reached That level of technical skill! tiny me would be so proud. it's very gratifying #redraw from august this year actually. i've made a surprising amount of improvement HAHA maybe it was the adamandi stuff getting me #back into digital rendering. i think that obsession has quietly slipped away but yknow. one never truly leaves a fandom. just less intensit #also speaking of old fandoms! we're back with the six stuff haha. as of writing i'm in the midst of blog revamp- figuring out how to chill #multifandom status doesn't mean ditch all the old stuff ! but i do feel much freer and less stressed. i think hiatus has been good for me #notes on this piece particularly: redraw about cutting hair and thinking of the lyric above. also lowkey &j ref + pinterest poem excerpts #of female suffering. and maybe a dash of amanda heng let's walk inspo. this work is really just full of contradictions..#1. the mirror and cutting hair as an act of self liberation 2. the & is part of the lyric but also a nod to &j (in another iteration it was #pink but the white looked better) and like. &j is really all !!! girl power!!! etc. and i was like hmmmm. also matching pink shiny aes #3. the frame as a cage; the mirror as a self reflection idea (ie. saville's propped insp) but also as a sign of vanity. 4. sparkly costume #and pretty pose- read one too many poems about women feeling like they have to be pretty even in their suffering. something i wanted to #explore. and also in 5. the show itself... all you wanna do is. despite all the dancing and pink and sparkly the content of the song is #darker. and even though it's a story of her suffering it's still presented as a shiny fun pop song and ajshdhfhfh ok... 6. the lyrics fall #outside the frame. sort of a caught inbetween. sort of a trapped in the narrative and yet #within the frame it's all. vaguely handwavy breaking free vibes. like i said contradictions?#7. cutting off the long ponytail vs the pull my hair lyric at the end. yeah #8. the blocked off & looks a bit like scissors. positioned to cut right at the neck #anyways yeah irl remains hectic! but if i get around to more doodles they'll appear here :)

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clownsuu · 9 months

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I finally have some free time to draw sketches and tell you about my headcannons with (young) Harvey and Dr. Stone!! 💥💥

The first headcanon: Harvey really likes to touch Stone's funny sticking-out hair with his antennae (I have no idea what to call it lol). OF COURSE, Dr. Stone gets angry, and Harvey just giggles and watches him—

The second headcanon: I thought it would be funny if Dr. Stone had (and maybe still has) a secret hobby of collecting minerals and stones. it's pretty funny that a sullen and angry dude collects and examines all sorts of stones, and then writes something in his book, muttering something under his nose. if Harvey somehow found out about his husband's hobby, he could throw him beautiful stones while he was going somewhere.

The third headcanon: Harvey loves hugging Dr. Stone very much, when he does this, this old fart immediately starts to get angry and swear, but after 15-20 minutes calms down and falls asleep. maybe Harvey does this on purpose so that his husband at least sometimes gets a full sleep

(not) Old people,,,,

#Not really old fards...#Thembs existing (Real) HSHDHDJJD #To Harvey his antennae are silly lil things- but sometimes pokes someone with em as a form of smooch/doting someone #Loving husbambs...#Also the two lil things sticking up stone's head is technically a dreadlock versions of cowlicks lmAO #Though it would most likely either be due to being cut very small- or just folded and tied to achieve the look #But that's for the human version anyway muppet vers dont need reasons lmAo #FUNFACT I never really talked about it and just mentioned it briefly-#But stone has a rock named “grandson” with googly eyes on it #He uses it mostly to mock frank with it on how his “grandson” is better than frank will ever be smhh #Last part definitely is something that would happen HDBDBD #Dr Stone specially as a youngin was a HUGE workaholic (still is but becoming old made him a lot more tired)#And Harvey would always try and set up a sleeping schedule for him so he can get a good nights rest #(Which sometimes worked- though stone would usually wake up an hour or two later and go right back to work-)#Harvey always tried his best for stone 😔💔🥄🥄#BUT AWEAWEAWE THE OLD FARDSSS;;;;#CUTE LIL DOODLES OF EMMMMM

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worstloki · 2 months

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there is a difference between being born to a throne, maliciously vying for a throne, stealing a throne, and having a throne thrust upon you when you are already in the midst of an identity crisis. And I fear Loki's place in the line of succession has people unable to differentiate between any of these

#you can't really argue he planned the extent of Thor's downfall #that was all Odin #Loki didn't force Thor to invade Jotunheim he isn't even the one who gave Thor the idea -- Thor did that all on his own!#that he was doing waswasa @ thor didn't help but wasn't really crime worthy on its own #Thor himself took time convincing the other warriors to be okay with the trip despite the treason and danger involved #like. what. Thor can't differentiate good advice from bad and is emotionally volatile and reckless and that's Loki's fault?#THOR was the one who got them past Heimdall too #the entire ordeal inadvertently showed off the favouritism Thor was receiving in comparison to Loki #even though Loki was the one supposedly so easily influencing Thor to such an extent #call Thor a puppet the way he--wait. no. that sounds weird. uhhhhh #you get the point #people will claim Loki was all up in there rearranging Thor's mental processes to cause his downfall #when really it was Loki doing the bare minimum instigation and watching things only devolve from there #because Thor WAS reckless and immature ?? and he WAS quick to anger and enjoyed exerting his power with violence ??#Loki didn't STEAL THE THRONE FROM THOR he literally just is implied to undermine the coronation #that's not even confirmed but we assume it's true that he let the frost giants in near the casket etc.#Loki has his own actual crimes that he did against Thor and hugging his bro's arm and saying 'you're soooooo strong and correct' was not on #even if you manage to argue Loki was cheering Thor on for the invasion (he wasn't) it was clearly to dob Thor in with Odin #which he did when he had some guard inform Odin #that Odin's chosen punishment was for Thor's disobedience aside stop blaming Loki for the damage ODIN inflicted on him #focus on Loki making up lies to Thor about how Odin died instead like at least Loki DID SOMETHING for that #you can even ascribe as evil a motive as you want there bc Loki was slipping fr #twirling his hair and telling Thor he's smarter about the realm's safety than the king was on the normal scale #you want to talk morals go look at how eager Thor was to invade mass destroy and massacre in the other realm #and expected Odin to 'finish them off! together!' bc he was power high on whatever bloodlust pheromones battle apparently imitates for him #sigh. this is why you can't have nice things Thor. no Loki you're barely any better. sit down. have a cookie.

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chr0n1c-ag0ny · 8 months

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if Sigma worked at the ADA dazai would call him pet names relentlessly, doesn't matter when, where, or who's listening:

"Hey pretty bird~ could you..."

"Oh, birdy can handle that, can't you, birdy?"

"Me and pretty boy are gonna go check out the crime scene,"

"Come on sweetheart, please, pretty please do my paperwork?"

"Morning darling~"

"Who decided to put their hands on our little bird," (no one touches Sigma. the entire ADA agree's on that one)

"Want to join the rest of us for lunch angel?"

"Good job, love,"

"Go get'em princess~"

"Hey hun could you help me with this report?"

"Come on beautiful, can't be late to that meeting or Kunikida's gonna have both of our heads,"

he doesn't stop, ever, and it starts spreading to the rest of the office.

Yosano will jokingly use the pet names when they're off the job or making fun of Dazai, but honestly takes to using them at work as well after a while, they're really pretty when they blush, wat can she say? (transfem!Sigma x Yosano yuri.... I think maybe)

Kunikida, after months of yelling at Dazai for being unprofessional and Sigma telling him "it's fine, really, it... it's not that much of a bother", will deadpan the pet name's with a very tired "I can't believe this is what my work like has come too" tone, esepcially cause Dazai will only refer to Sigma as said pet names in his reports (which Sigma and Kunikida always revise) and in the office groupchat/email chain.

Ranpo uses them in the gc.

Fukuzawa is tired of getting the reports from Dazai where a birdy is missed by Kunikida and Sigma's tireless revisions.

everyone else knows exactly who's being referred to when they hear those pet names, even if they don't use them themselves, just like Sigma pretends to not like it, but responds every time he hears one of his many titles.

they become his monikers in the field. Dazai is elated.