#this is very rare that I’m so upset with an episode

[interstitties101]

Ok. Dr who The Giggle thoughts.

Things I did not like (there are a lot of them tbh but I feel like they’re p valid)

Avengers tower. Be so ffr y’all. Enough. That bothered me So Much actually cuz enough with the Whoniverse shit. The whole point of dr who is to not bandwagon and this is aggressive bandwagoning.

The ending being Neil Patrick Harris missing a catch. Like ik it’s silly bc the toymaker is silly and all that but like. Very anticlimactic.

Bi-generation. Again. Be so ffr. There are SO many problems that would cause. Ripples in time and all that. And also it just doesn’t work with the show. The whole point of the dr is that there can only be one of them - the metacrisis was crazy bc it went against all precedent but still the dr was HUMAN. The dr splitting into two versions of themselves seems like a catastrophic event for spacetime by the logic of the show but ig limits like that don’t matter anymore?? I’m really frustrated with writers trying to push the limits of the show/the character by creating totally bonkers things that end up cheapening the premise of the show. The dr is insanely powerful, yes, but they also DIE. They change. They have limits. The whole point of a tragic hero is that they CANNOT remain the same and yet they ALWAYS remain the same because they are stuck in the narrative. I enjoy the idea of the dr finally getting a break but I feel like there were other ways of doing that. Or at LEAST explain that 14 is now human or has only one lifespan or something like that as an emergency way for really-fucking-old time lords to shed some of their trauma through bi-generation without causing ripples in time. I think maybe that’s what RTD was going for? But it wasn’t explained at all and giving 14 their own tardis was crazy. Cuz now they’ve just. Brought back 10 bc they liked him, no other reason. And I LOVE David Tennant. But not like this - not as fan service that ends up scratching the integrity of the show (not that the integrity isn’t constantly being scratched but whatever). Also - part of the reason the metacrisis was so tragic was because the dr could never grow old with Rose Tyler!!!!!! Only the metacrisis dr could. It was SO tragic that 10 never got to experience that. So they should’ve made it clear that 14 was human or limited in some way so they could grow old with Donna and experience growing old with someone they love finally. That would’ve properly conveyed the beauty I think (I hope) they were going for.

Treating the show as if there are no limits takes the weight out of everything. The always-upping-the-stakes trap.

Ik I just said this but the dr should’ve regenerated INTO Ncuti Gatwa, not just bc of the aforementioned OP-ness and logiclessness of the character rn but bc Ncuti DESERVED his own thing and to be the dr fully. I don’t like that he had to share his regeneration with David Tennant. It also separated Ncuti’s doctor and dt’s doctor so they seem like different people, not the same character played by different people, and I think that’s sad. One of the special things about regeneration is that you have an image of the former dr as you discover the new one and it’s bittersweet because the old one is gone but that person is STILL the new one. And that’s very special. You carry bits of each doctor with you. That effect is somewhat lost here.

The doctor would not go mad being in one place for a human lifetime cuz he already did that many times over. Those instances were major plot points actually. Remember a town called Christmas? Trenzalore? TEN would go mad because of his personality and the fact that he was always running from his problems but the dr is a different person now. 14 is not 10. But whatever I guess.

Just bad pacing of the episode bc they were trying to cram so much stuff in (like star beast). The best ep in the specials trio was wild blue yonder for exactly this reason.

The emotional convos w Donna and the dr should’ve been longer. She was his like. Primary outlet in terms of emotional vulnerability, and he was her biggest outlet for her full bravery and intellect and potential. The quieter moments when they rely more on silence and just acting and less on swirling plot devices are what makes the characters and their dynamic really shine and I wish they’d had more of that for the finale.

I did not understand why the toymaker was limited in the way he was. If you’re an elemental entity that can play with atoms like play dough then why are you constrained to only ever play games??? Why is there only ever winners and losers???

Justice for Martha Fucking Jones. Goddamn they CONTINUE to do her so dirty. Not even a mention. Damn.

Goddamnit RTD you can write BRILLIANT normal dr who episodes but you are doing WAY too much with the big ones. Lean off the meta stuff. Ground the show back into reality (or at least some semblance of logic cuz who are we kidding here. It’s dr who). Bigger is not always better and people don’t get sick of smaller but more emotionally intense plots.

Maybe it was the pacing, maybe it was the fact that we didn’t get to see any complex emotion from 14 about retiring (in a sense), maybe it was the lack of explanation/consequences about the bi-generation, or maybe it was just the ludicrousness of bi-generation in itself, but the ending did not feel as cathartic like it was supposed to. You can’t create emotional complexity out of complex plot devices. Take a simpler thing and do more with it please (hence the success of wild blue yonder). I feel like there could’ve been a different way to handle the ending. Idk exactly how (I have some ideas brewing) but it felt… incomplete. Or just immature/rushed.

If bro is gonna retire or whatever tf, don’t leave him with a tardis??? It defeats the point???

Things I liked

NCUTI GATWA!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG!!!!! The energy he’s bringing is AMAZING and I’m so excited to see him explore the emotional depth of this character. Hats off.

BAGAHHAHAHHAHAHA THE DOCTOR IS BLACK AND GAY!!!!!!!! SUCK IT!!!!!!!!!!! HES ALREADY FUCKING KILLING IT!!!!!!!

15 kissing his teeth made me SO happy. I SEE you.

I always love seeing David Tennant on screen regardless of anything else. Tbh.

14 getting a good hug from someone who literally fully understands. Even if it is themselves. What a fucking weight off.

The Toymaker’s lipsync!!!! SLAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Need I say more.

Having another former companion on the show :)

I really do love the idea of the doctor getting a break and hopefully shedding some of their trauma. They deserve it so much. But I’m sad again bc I feel like they didn’t have to bring dt back for that. I thought 10’s face coming back was something to do with the timelines fracturing (like they said in the comic relief thing!!) and the toymaker was related to that, and so in repairing the timelines they’d reset proper regeneration or whatever it is. (Note to self: see, that would’ve made so much more sense. The dr and Donna could’ve gotten their closure and 15 would promise to visit or smth and make random references in the next season to stopping by to say hi to Donna and catch up. Or like “you won’t BELIEVE what Donna just told me”. That’s the new reality I’m sticking with in my head. Anyway.) Like, the temporariness/transientness of 10’s face is what made it a treat! It wasn’t meant to last forever. So I loved the idea of dt’s face coming back as a form of releasing trauma and processing or whatever it was, but… the longevity didn’t fit. Sorry :(

Edit: also the dr was gay for himself. Lmao >:3 valid

#this is very rare that I’m so upset with an episode #but maybe it’s a sign of how much I care abt the show and the characters and all that #bc I care SO MUCH about dr who #and I have SO MUCH love for so much of it #so when something abt the show bothers me #it REALLY bothers me #no hate intended just genuine heartfelt feedback #and all of this is my own opinion obvs no one has to agree #but anyway #dw #dr who #doctor who #the giggle #sigh #ugh there were so many scenes/shots throughout these specials that were so amazing #it sucks to have big plot points overshadow so much of the beauty #vnwyorkqbfkwprjfh

[jacquesthepigeon]

I’m always wondering if it was better or worse for BBT and Young Sheldon creators to say that Sheldon is NOT on the spectrum. But then I see how they treat neurodivergence on shows like Miraculous, and go probably better they keep away from stuff they don’t understand.

I suspect what happened with Sheldon’s character is that they probably modeled him after people they either didn’t know or didn’t care were on the spectrum and by the time everyone was like “hey this guy is obviously autistic” they’d made fun of him too many times to suddenly claim being pioneers of sitcom neurodivergent representation without also having to accept responsibility for their past attitudes towards him

I do, however, think the red itchy sweater episode was fantastic in delivering a message regarding some forms of neurosis

As for ML, it is, at its core, a tell don’t show series. These characters are in love, are close friends, are good at X and Y, are passionate about this and that, hate Z, so on and so forth. We rarely learn about characters and happenstances through actions, to the point where very clear irrefutable events are verbally retconned by random characters and we’re supposed to accept what they say as canon over what we saw. It doesn’t matter if characters are noticeably queer, neurodivergent, good/bad at something, biased about certain people/subjects, struggling with XYZ, etc. If someone doesn’t outright state it, it isn’t canon. This is where the crew loves to claim brownie points for representation but doesn’t actually do anything that might upset the Suits and their bigotry. They have an ethnically diverse character lineup but they’re all perfectly assimilated to white french culture and rarely acknowledge their own supposed heritage. They criticize police abuse but have the victims apologize to their assailants. They have queer characters but their relationships are mostly implied off-screen so they have plausible deniability. They have kids whose parents are clearly mistreating them to the point of leaving lifelong scars and affecting their ability to become functional members of society but it’s obviously not abuse.

I swear there’s some kind of disconnect between the dialogue and the action lines on the script, like no one member of the crew knows what the other is doing and everything is just taped together at the end with no revisions

#anon #ask

[uhnoobuhhs]

My thoughts on these last two episodes:

Though things seems to have gone back to what they were, I believe they are also completely different at the same time.

Because although being a vampire was Guillermo’s dream, I think in the years he’s spent with the vampires, the main reason he wanted to be turned was so he could be considered a valued part of the team

He wanted the vampires to see him like family, to care about him the way he does for them.

And that’s come true, all the vampires care and love and worry for Guillermo now.

They all demonstrated this in their own different ways this season:

from Laszlo actively trying to help Guillermo, showing up at his motel to apologize for not being as helpful (which was actually very sweet of him) to that final scene with Derek

to Nadja taking Guillermo to the vet and protecting him from being harmed

To Colin stopping by the motel to give Guillermo a farewell gift.

They all were worried about him. They all didn’t want him to get killed, that’s why they kept his secret despite knowing how hurt and upset Nandor would be. It’s such a three sixty from the beginning of the series. The found family vibes really made me want to cry in the best way.

(But since I am a huge nandermo shipper I saved my Nandor points for last because I’m gonna dive in DEEP)

I knew that we wouldn’t get a love confession this season, I believe that Guillermo will either be turned into a vampire in a last ditch effort to save his life (hopefully by Nandor)

Or he’ll eventually change his mind and ask Nandor again to be turned and I think if he were to ask again (after everything that’s happened) I think Nandor would do it if he believed Guillermo was sure.

Guillermo did mention to Nandor at the fake ceremony that he really still wanted to be a vampire. (So who knows I wanna keep hope alive)

But overall, I loved this season.

We got a rare peak behind the curtain at Nandor.

He not only deeply cares for Guillermo and can’t imagine losing him but he also knew all along that Guillermo was not ready to be a vampire.

(Remember that scene in s3 where Nandor tells Guillermo that vampirism is a curse? And that he cared too much about him to do that to him?)

The fact that Nandor memorized Guillermo’s letter to him when they first met just speaks volumes about how much he actually loves Guillermo.

Nandor has grown so much this season, it was so refreshing to see. I mean all those self help books really paid off. Cause, not only did he set his own hurt feelings aside and forgave Guillermo despite how important loyalty and honor are to him but

he also didn’t act impulsively when it came to Guillermo transitioning. He let Guillermo experience vampirism and observed his reactions and emotions before stepping in.

(I hope we continue to see more character growth like this and that hopefully in s6 we finally get some romantic plot for these two because fuck I’m in too deep to quit this show/ ship lol)

#wwdits spoilers #wwdits #what we do in the shadows #laszlo cravensworth #nadja of antipaxos #colin robinson #wwdits nandor #nandor the relentless #nandermo #wwdits guillermo #guillermo de la cruz

[bronx-bomber87]

First off thank you much for the lovely response to my last thoughts. I was very nervous about posting and got a lot of good replies, notes and reblogs. This fandom is the best. I think it's important to see both sides and I wanted Tim's to be represented in a way that gave insight without condoning what he'd done. (Cause our boy done messed up.) So giving a little of myself achieved that I believe.

I didn't know a ton about this ep cause I’m a square who stays away from spoilers haha So let’s get started.

6x08 Punch Card

Ugh my heart Tim got a reminder for Lucy’s Bday. Instant heart stomping already….I love that he had a reminder set up though. Making sure he would't forget. I’m crying already. Even though I'm so very sad. I love that he had this setup. When the elevator opens the amount of tension is palpable. Something felt very wrong. Good thing Tim was lost in his Lucy moment or he would've picked up on this sooner.

Poor Tim just wants to explain himself to Mad Dog. To explain what happened. The man is not in a place to receive it and we see later why. That look said it all though when Mad Dog departs. When Dr. London said she just took the wrong elevator my red flag gut was going off.

Now that I've see the episode as a whole I can see Dr. London's play here. She seems to use flirting as a defense mechanism all her own. To protect herself and manipulate those around her. I mean they brought her flirt fest with Aaron in the recap back for a reason I think. She's worried Tim read into something about her interaction with Mad Dog. I mean Tim is clearly upset about seeing him and she uses that to deflect attention off herself. My off meter definitely was kicking on with her. Especially with how flirty she was being I didn't like it.

Now some may see Tim's response as him flirting back but I think he's investigating her. Also he's being a little sassy because he's not comfortable with her doing therapy outside the office. I mean his face when he leaves that elevator is not of a man who just flirted. It's one who is one still hurting and two his cop gut is going off but he isn't sure why....He seems conflicted by what just went down in that elevator. Just like us he was feeling off about her.

This scene was very cute with Grey. I loved him anointing her to be a T.O. LOL Also once again showing the faith he has in Lucy. To train Celina and know she would do a good job. I was excited for this opportunity for her. For her to tap into leadership. Honestly it shouldn't have taken this long for Lucy to get to show her chops with this.

Tim is so busy trying to delete his Lucy reminder he runs into the physical version of it without realizing. Andddddd it’s still awkward af between them. How could It not be? No communication between them so naturally it is. Stilted awkwardness. Lucy got out of there so fast. Even with Tim making the all powerful joke. Trying to make it less awkward. Ow. Couldn't get away fast enough. The way he watches her go. *sigh* Like he's watching his entire heart depart the room.

This hurts you guys. No matter how much I know it’ll be ok at some point this hurts to watch. Grey not pulling any punches noting how very awkward that was. Tim telling him that's actually better than it's been....Makes me wonder how much time has passed between 6x07 and now. Wade not caring that's progress to Tim. He is not messing around....

Just wants Tim to fix is ASAP cause of the team dynamic. He's not wrong. Man isn't wrong. Rarely if ever is. Saying if Tim can't there’s gonna be a transfer and it won’t be Lucy….I mean I LOVE Grey siding with Lucy on this one. Not a doubt in his mind if it shakes out that way it'll be Tim. That being said just hearing that. Ugh. Deep anxiety pit of my stomach. And of course it would be friggin North Hollywood. That damn station been haunting them since S2. Looming over them ready to take one of them away.

Lucy being Celina’s T.O .for the day I love it. She is so excited to be her leader even if it's just for this shift. Just wants to 'Invest in her success.' You know Lucy's leadership is pretty damn identical to how I am with my team. While I am mostly Tim there are pieces of Lucy in me as well. I related to her style of leadership quite a bit.

Aaron and Tim in the surveillance van is hilarious. Their dynamic has always entertained me. I truly adore these two goobers together. Tim is trying so hard to keep his shit together. Aaron dying of ask him if he finds it hard to surveil his old team for an OP? Tim of course gives him the company line. Doing what he is told without complaint. Pulling out some S1 Tim with that reply my love.

Tim then telling him he needs a stronger deodorant LOL It's too funny. What a boring assignment for them both. Tim went from running that entire team. Doing ops and making decisions on the fly to this….Also Aaron being too distracted by his deodorant comment to pay attention is the most Aaron thing ever haha

What I love the most about Lucy with Celina is her correcting without crushing her confidence. Once again reminding me of myself when I'm correcting my work kids on stuff. She is kind but confident in her assessment of what she did wrong in this moment. Celina receiving it well because she handles it this way. Lucy out here crushing it already with zero T.O. training. Just going off instinct and what she would want if she was a newbie still. Once again her and I very alike.

Oh Tim getting that reminder again. *heart clutch.* Sigh my boy. Aaron offering to turn it off for him. I love that he was gonna have it remind him through out the day. Pre-breakup Tim clearly didn't want to forget. Wanted to make sure he not only knew it was but to make sure to make a big deal of it. That's just an assumption on my part but man would've wanted to do that. it's the way he has 'TOMORROW.' Wanting to make sure he didn't forget such an important day. *screams into a pillow.* Aaron asking if he’s gonna get her anything? I’m sure he had stuff in mind. But yeah bad form indeed…

Tim’s sweet smile when he finds out what Aaron got her. Knowing how perfect of a gift that would be for her. That sweet knowing smile makes me wanna weep a bit. He knows his girl so well. Lot of sadness attached to the smile though. 'Can I ask why ya’ll split up?' 'No.' LMAO Took it too far Aaron....You're lucky you got that much good sir.

This scene with Mad Dog hurt my heart for Tim. No matter how wrong he was for what he did I still hate seeing this. This was what I was worried about with him working with Metro. Picking at the wounds he hasn’t even begun to heal about how he left. I knew him making notes on the OP was going to come back and bite him in the ass. Watching all his repercussions is painful to see I have to say. Knowing what we know about Mad Dog later I think that's part of why he goes off on Tim. Doesn't make it any easier to watch though...

Friggin Love Lucy being a BAMF in this episode. Especially in this moment. When she once again corrects but doesn't crush Celina about her gun. It's the way she guides Celina and has control over every situation they encounter in this ep. Proving herself a worthy teacher and leader. Also she was a better teacher to Celina in one episode than Nolan has been her entire career. Dude is a stinker of a T.O. It shows in how Celina makes basic mistakes Lucy had down pat long before this time in her rookie year.

Too bad Lucy can't finish out her training and Nolan is booted. But that'll never happen nothing sticks to that man. Not since S3 premiere. The rules and repercussions are rubber and he's glue. What doesn't stick to him does to everyone else... Grey should really evaluate his teaching skills. But that'll never happen. But she deserves a better teacher than him.

From the minute Tim entered the room something seemed very wrong. From the way Mad Dog was just expecting Tim to flog him. Like he wanted Tim to ream him out for how the OP went down. Also how Mad Dog seemed nervous af to see Dr London. I mean look at that man above. He is scared shitless she is there to see him. The way he watches her though out the scene. Especially when she leaves.

Tim's cop gut is going off like crazy when she enters the room. Wondering how the hell she even know about this? He seems to take her answer at face value because honestly its pretty good considering it's a bold faced lie. Tim once again feeling like something is very off but isn't sure why.

First let me say once again I feel personally attacked by the choice in song once again. lol I couldn't find the song to save my life. The lyrics are *chef kiss.* They're painfully accurate for them both. Think they've been very intentional with their ending music and just in general this season. These lyrics filled me with some hope as well. Jotted down the lyrics since couldn't find the song.

‘When the sun won’t shine and the words don’t rhyme. And there’s mountains you can’t move. Somethings on your mind and it’s been some time-since you felt like you were you. When it all caves in feeling paper thin. And the pain might cut right through.

Oh child, Lift up your head. All this trouble's only gonna last for awhile.’ Yeah we’re gonna be all right oh child. Lift up your head. And the light's gonna find you. When you feel like you ain’t got a friend. And you’re wondering if you ever gonna smile again. Every little thing gonna be ok. I know that you gonna see better days.’ *heart clutch.*

Damn smart of Tim saying happy birthday from Kojo and not him. I’m not crying you are. This was so so sweet. Lucy's reaction to Kojo got me all in my feels. She's so excited to see him. Then that excitement melts into sadness. Because he's an extension of Tim. The way she pet's him and says how much she misses him ugh.

Seems there is a double meaning going on there. We all know despite the hurt how much she misses her person. Tim just standing there only imagining her reaction when Kojo makes his way back. What a way to bring that sweet boy back in. I'm so happy about it. Tim is respecting her space but couldn’t let her bday go without doing something. Had to let her know her was thinking of her still. The fact that it’s happening in the hallway where so many seminal moments have played out for them.... I wanna cry.

I LOVE that Tim got Kojo to put his little paw in ink for the card. It is so sweet. Their fur baby. He put serious thought and effort into this. This was so well done. Only Melissa and Eric could have chemistry without even seeing each other. This is the first time we've really seen Lucy cry about them. 6x06 she was in complete shock. 6x07 was her processing her thoughts/emotions. She was on the verge of tears but we didn't see her cry. This was first time we've seen her shed tears on screen at least since the break up. Wanna hug her so much. She deserved this card and more. Like a real conversation with him but this is a good start.

She knows this is Tim reaching out without physically doing so. Showing her he still cares. I mean he clearly very much does. You don't put thought and effort in like this if you don't. It's a huge thing for him to do right now. Lucy recognizes the effort in this adorable act. Tim's face after she reads the card. Ripping my damn heart out. The absolute regret splayed all over it. Like it’s finally hitting him what he’s done to her. What he’s lost in the process. He gave up his favorite person. His happy place and just it’s hitting him square in his chest.

Like a freight train that’s run him over. It's the way he shakes his head. Kicking himself. Knowing he hastily threw them away. What a mistake he’s made in his irrational decision making. It’s written all over his beautiful face. He may not fully understand yet why he did it but the regret is evident. Eric be killing me. His face screams all that. Knowing he should’ve been with Lucy for her birthday. Hell probably sharing that bath bomb she brought up with her. Killing me softly. Hurts so good. Damnit writers... This is being handled so well though. So hats off to them. They both needed this moment more than either of them knew.

Mad dog killing himself....jesus H Christ. Poor Tim the last thing he needs is this. It explains why he was extra nasty to Tim though. Tim saw the flaw in his play and freaked the hell out. Also for Tim to see someone he once trusted with his life compromise themselves. Compromise the safety of their own men. Gut punch. And for what? Money? Power? We won't know till more of this unravels. Whatever it is won't be for a good reason. I know Tim hates himself for his mistakes. But those mistakes always had some form of honor attached to them.

He may not see that but I do. Now the op where he got his men killed no but what he did after was honorable. What he did for Mitch came from a honorable place. I just wonder how seeing Mad Dog doing something so very un-honorable is gonna affect him moving forward...Oh my lord I’m so mad about Dr London not because I liked her. But because I didn’t want it to derail Tim’s therapy in any way. The man needs it. Here’s hoping he continues in s7 with someone better.

Everyone was right she’s a dirty birdy. I was just hoping she wouldn’t be. But my ick and uncomfortable factor went WAY up in this ep with her. I knew it was inevitable. It's not that I didn't want to be wrong about her. It's the fact I didn't want this to hurt Aaron and I definitely I didn’t want her to be dirty for Tim that was it. For his therapy and the progress he's made. I hope this doesn’t affect his therapy journey and he can find someone not compromised in S7.

That promo for next week oh my lord….the hug! The hug! "This doesn't change anything." Then pulls him right in like nothing's changed. I will be living there from now on. Or until next week lol Love the Finale being a 2 parter as well. Phew this is gonna be an intense ending to this season. Gonna be chomping at the bit for S7 once it's done I know it. Like the song stated we're gonna see better days. I truly believe that. We got this my lovely fandom. Thank you for always being so wonderfully receptive of these reviews. Appreciate any likes, comments or reblogs that come my way.

~~~

Side notes-non Chenford

Angela shooting Monica down with Wesley. She's an Epic Queen and I adore her.

Dr London is in alliance with Monica. That's super great….cool cool cool……I have a feeling and D and I discussed this earlier. Reminds us of Armstrong. This feels more like a she's been forced into it a situation. Because its obvious she's good at her job.

But the way she freaked out about the cops being hurt clearly shook her. She looked on the verge of tears in Mad Dog's room. So do I think she's a bad person? Unsure at the moment. Do I think she was once a good person who was manipulated into whatever this alliance is? I do. Be interesting to see how her SL unfolds.

#Caitlin's Mini reviews #chenford #s6 #6x08 Punch Card #the rookie 6x08 #tim x lucy #lucy x tim #tim bradford #lucy chen #eric winter #melissa o'neil #otp: doing my job #otp: unless it is

[matty-bear]

XI. Out [N.S]

type: The Influencer series FINALE

pairing: nick sturniolo x male!oc

warnings: sfw, tooth-rotting fluff, implications of sex (NO SMUT !!)

summary:  in which Finn and Nick come clean about their relationship to the fans on the Cut The Camera Podcast

notes: oh em geeee the influencer is done :000 I’m so grateful for all the support you guys have given me while Ive been working on this series <3 I could have never finished this series without you guy;s love and support fr fr . I might re write this after I write a bit more but I’m happy with how this series is right now ! hopefully you guys are fed with this but if youre not, don't fret there will be more finn and nick content in the near future ^^ thank you again for joining me on this ride and i hope to see you guys on my future works ! <3 p.s., hope you guys dont mind this extra long chapter ;3 

WC: 8033

CH10

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＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚　 ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊ ＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚　 ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊ ＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚

“My love~” The sound of Finn's voice echoing from their dimly lit shared bathroom causes Nick to abruptly lift his head from the pillow he’s laying on. 

“Yes?” Nick replies as he pushes himself up into a sitting position. The soft sound of footsteps pattering against the floorboards sounds through the male's ears as he swings his legs over the side of the bed. 

“I should've done my skincare last night.” Nick didn’t need to lift his head to know that Finn was frowning. His tone sounded nothing but upset and Nick's claim seems to be correct when he lifts his head to be met with his boyfriend slightly pouting. 

“What makes you say that? Did you break out or something?” Nick instinctively grasps Finn's hips to pull him in between his legs. He watches as his boyfriend slowly nods and removes his hand from the left side of his face to reveal a small, baby blue star patch.

“I got a pimple.” Finn raises a finger to point at the covered pimple, his frown not faltering. Before Nick gets the chance to add to the conversation, Finn sighs deeply and takes a seat on his boyfriend’s leg. “I envy you and your clear skin.” 

“Do you now?” Finn rapidly nods his head as he rests his chin on Nick's semi-clothed shoulder. 

“Yeah. You rarely break out. And when you do, it doesn’t take you very long to get rid of the pimples of whatever pops up on your skin.”

Nick simply hums softly and begins to drag his fingertips against Finn’s clothes back. “Baby, I have a question for you.” 

“What is it?” 

“I was talking with Matt and Chris last night about us coming clean about our relationship to the fans. They both made some pretty good points and I wanted to know if you were okay with coming to join us for a podcast so we can, you know, properly come out and I can introduce you to everyone as my boyfriend. It was either that or doing it in a car video but I feel like fans would want to know more about you, especially if they don’t follow you on social media, so they can get to know how wonderful you are from you from the podcast. What do you say? we’ll be filming the episode later today so you practically have all day to think about it.” 

The faint sound of Finn humming runs through Nick's ears for a moment, followed by the soft vibrations of his chest against his arm. “I'm down.” 

Nick's eyes light up as he leans back slightly to peer down at Finn. “really?” 

The taller hums again with a small smile as he gets up from his spot on Nick's leg. “As long as I get to sit next to you in the studio and if Chris and Matt aren’t gonna tease us the entire time.” 

“Well, I can't promise you that, but I'll talk to them later. Anyways, where are you going? Come back.” 

“I need to change!” A small laugh escapes Finn’s lips as he excuses himself to go to the closet. Upon opening the door and letting himself inside the small space, Nick quickly gets up from his spot on the bed and rushes over to the male. The moment he steps foot inside his closet, his eyes narrow as he watches his boyfriend shift through his rack of sweatshirts. 

“What are you doing?” Nick asks, his arms crossing over his chest. 

Finn momentarily shifts his gaze from the hangers in front of him to look over at his boyfriend who’s leaning against the doorframe. He sends the male a soft smile and returns to shifting through the hangers before he replies, “Finding a sweatshirt to wear.” 

“In my closet?” 

“Yeah.” Nick rolls his eyes as Finn finally settles on a clothing item. The redhead can practically see the happiness and excitement radiating off his boyfriend as he slips a black sweatshirt with large gray stars off a hanger. He watches as Finn quickly flips the item around to allow Nick to see it, a cheesy smile clear as day on his lips. 

“This is what you bought on our first date.” Finn says, his arms quickly getting to work on getting the sweatshirt over his head. 

“First date?” Nick asks, a single eyebrow raising as he watches his boyfriend’s head pop out of the top of the sweater. 

Finn lets out a small sigh as the familiar smell of vanilla runs through his senses. “Yeah, first date. Well, I considered it to be a little date, a blind one in a sense if you get what I mean.” 

“You know, we haven’t gone out on a proper date in a while.” At Nick's statement, Finn can't help but smile widely. As he approaches the redhead, he slowly wraps his arms around the shorter’s waist and peers down at him. 

“Is that a way of telling me that you want to go on a proper date?” Finn asks, his smile not faltering as he watches Nick’s facial expressions carefully. 

“Obviously, yes. I’ve actually been planning a little date for a few days now.” Nick smiles as he watches Finn’s eyes mimic those of a child being surprised on Christmas day. “Before you say anything, that’s all I'm telling you.” 

Finn’s excited expression drops and is quickly replaced with a small frown. “Oh come on~” The male whines as he begins to sway himself and Nick back and forth. “Just another hint, please?” 

“Nope. You're just gonna have to wait.” As Nick slips out of Finn’s hold and exits the closet, the latter gasps dramatically and quickly follows him. 

“Come on, please?” 

“Nope.” Finn lets out a small whine as he follows Nick downstairs. He quickly turns the corner when the male enters the kitchen and he immediately leans against the counter closest to Nick with his arms crossed over his chest. 

“Well, good morning you two.” Matt greets as he passes the kitchen upon exiting his bedroom, his mop of messy and fluffy chocolate brown hair being a sign of his good night’s rest. 

Finn quickly turns his head around to face the younger male. “Oh hey.” Matt shares a quick smile with Finn as he walks towards the fridge. 

“So…” The brunette starts as he grabs a bottle of root beer off the top shelf. “Are we having a guest join us for the podcast today?” 

At Matt’s straightforward question, Nick quickly shifts his gaze from the small ceramic bowl in his hands to Finn who’s next to him. The redhead shares a quick look with his boyfriend before the taller smiles softly and looks over at Matt who’s taking small sips of the beverage in his hand. 

“I believe so, yes.” Finn replies with a small head nod. Matt lets out an excited shout before he makes his way over to the couple on the opposite side of the kitchen. 

“Did it take a lot of convincing?” Matt diverts his question to Nick who’s busy stirring a serving of dry cereal in the milk in his bowl. He waits for the older to take a quick bite and swallow the contents before he replies, “Not really no. I just gave him a quick rundown of what happened last night and he agreed to join us today.” 

After seeing Matt look over at him, Finn gently nods his head with a small smile. “Well, I’m glad you’re joining us today, Finn.” Matt says as he takes another quick sip of his root beer. “Should I start prepping questions with Chris then?”

“Yeah, I think that’s a good idea. When you guys are done, send me the list.” Nick replies with a small head nod. 

“Alright, I'll go do that then. See you guys later.” Matt sends a quick wave goodbye to Nick and Finn as he excuses himself to go back to his bedroom. After ensuring that the male shuts the door behind him, Finn immediately wraps his arms around Nick’s waist and pulls him flush against his chest.

At the sudden movement, the redhead lets out a small noise of surprise and removes the spool full of cereal from his mouth before it spills. After setting the utensil down in the nearly empty bowl, Nick turns his head to be met with a smiley Finn who’s resting his head on his shoulder. 

“Can we go back to bed please?” Finn asks, his speech slightly muffled due to his mouth being inches away from the exposed skin on Nick’s shoulder. 

“Baby, it’s 2 o’clock in the afternoon.” Nick starts, his eyes momentarily shifting over to the microwave nearby to double-check the time. “I don't think it’s a good idea to go to bed right now. Besides, if you want to cuddle, we can do it in the living room.”

“Fine.” Finn huffs slightly, his grip on Nick’s waist tightening ever so slightly. “Hurry up. You're taking too long.” 

“Calm down Mr. Eager. I'm almost done.” Finn impatiently watches as Nick picks up his spoon and scoops up a few pieces of cereal and some milk. At the sight of the male slowly risking the utensil to his slightly opened mouth, Finn groans and drops his head to his boyfriend’s shoulder. 

“You hate me.” Nick can’t help but chuckle at the taller’s statement and quickly stuffs the food in his mouth before going for another portion. 

“Glad you're aware of the fact so I don’t have to verbally say it.” Nick bites back a laugh when he hears Finn gasp dramatically. He watches from the corner of his eye as the male stands upright, his mouth wide open in shock drawing a small chuckle from him. 

“That's so disrespectful.” Finn waits for Nick to eat the contents from his spoon before he lands a poke on his side. The redhead flinches at the small touch and quickly whips around to narrow his eyes at the taller. 

“No, it’s not.” Nick defends as he points the tip of his spoon at the male. 

“Yes, it is.” Finn frowns, “Hurry up and finish your cereal.” 

“You’re the one that interrupted me.” 

“Yeah, yeah. Just hurry up please I’m getting cold.” 

“Baby, you have a whole-ass sweater on. The only person here that should be cold is me.” Nick gestures to the white tank top hugging his torso before he turns around to face his bowl again. 

“Hey, you’re the one that decided to change out of your shirt to put this on.” Finn starts, his pointer finger hooking underneath the strap on Nick’s tank top. “You could’ve left it on.” 

“Okay true,” Nick mumbles, his speech slightly muffled due to the food in his mouth. Finn simply hums as he watches the redhead walk over to the skin to wash his dish.

After turning off the tap and wiping his hands dry, Nick makes his way over to Finn and wordlessly grabs his hand to guide the two of them to the living room. The shorter momentarily releases his hand from Finn’s to sit down as as he reaches over to grab a pillow, the taller’s eyes stay glued to Nick’s arms which slightly flex as he reaches over. 

“I can feel you starting. Well, see you staring as well.” Nick states, his eyes momentarily shifting up to see his boyfriend before he fixes it back onto the pillow in his hand. 

“Are you sure you haven’t been working out?” Finn asks, a single hand resting on his hip as the other points at Nick. The latter quickly raises his head at his boyfriend’s question and chuckles softly before reaching forward to grab his waist. 

“Finn, we've been around each other almost every single day. I think you would know if I was working out.” Nick guides Finn to sit in his lap before he continues, “Besides, you know damn well I'm not about that physical activity shit.” 

Finn can’t help but giggle at Nick's last statement. “Oh trust me, I know. But I'm just saying that you got a little muscle building up.” 

Nick raises an eyebrow at the taller tucking his head in the crook of his neck. “I heavily beg to differ but whatever you say.” 

“Look, I'm not lying!” Finn quickly removes himself from his spot in Nick’s neck to grab into his arm. His hand quickly shifts up to the male’s bicep and the moment he squeezes the area, he feels the shorter tense underneath his fingers. “You definitely have some muscles here. Look, just flex a little.”

“Finn, I am not flexing.” 

“Come on, why not.” 

“Because.”

“Because why?” 

Nick lets out a small sigh and looks over at Finn, the sight of his puppy eyes causing his heart to ache. “Alright, enough of that.” He gently sets his hand on the taller’s face to push him away.  “If I flex my arm will you paint your nails with me?” 

“Abso-fucking-lutely. Now flex, cmon!” Nick sighs yet again and waits for Finn to remove his hand from his bicep before he quickly flexes his arm. At the excited shout escaping his boyfriend’s mouth, Nick instinctively hides his face behind his hand. “You do have muscles you fucking liar!” 

Nick doesn’t say anything and instead shakes his head in response. Finn playfully rolls his eyes at the male before he grabs the hand covering his face and slowly pries it away. “Why are you so flustered?” Finn teases, a large smile appearing on his lips at the sight of his boyfriend’s flushed face. 

“Shut it,” Nick mumbles as he leans forward to hide in Finn’s chest. The latter giggles at his boyfriend and cards a hand through his dark red locks before landing a small peck on the crown of his head. 

_____

“Baby, you know you don’t have to do a full face of makeup right? It’s not like we’re going out in public.” Nick says as he steps into his bathroom, his fingers getting to work on zipping up a purple sweater that’s loosely hung on his shoulders.

“It’s just guy-liner I swear.” Finn defends, his tall frame leaning back from the mirror to look over at the male standing next to him. He gives his boyfriend a small smile before lifting the eyeliner underneath his eye again. Nick sighs softly and shakes his head as he lifts himself on the counter. He wastes no time in grabbing Finn’s free hand and fiddling with the few rings hugging his fingers. The latter, noticing the male’s change in behavior, momentarily stops what he’s doing to look over at him. “My love?” 

Nick quickly lifts his head to meet Finn’s worried gaze. “Yeah?” 

“You’re nervous. What’s wrong?” 

“Nervous? Pshh. I’m not nervous.” Finn exhales deeply through his nose before turning his body so he’s fully facing Nick. He sends the male a knowing look before saying, “You don’t think I noticed that you play with my rings when you're nervous?” 

Nick forces his lips into a straight line and allows his gaze to fall back down to Finn’s hand which is still in his gasp. “Okay, maybe I am a little nervous.” 

A small frown makes its way onto Finn’s lips before he takes a step close to Nick and sets his free hand on his clothed thigh. “Why?”

“Don’t know.” 

“Nick…” As Finn cups the latter’s face with a single hand, Nick sighs softly and looks up at him. “Is it because this is gonna be the first video that’s gonna be posted of us being together?” Nick slowly nods his head. “Oh baby, you don’t need to be nervous about this. Just think about it like this; When this podcast gets uploaded, we can finally be open to doing whatever we want. You want us to be free with this, right?” Nick nods again. “Okay, then let’s get this done and we can do that.” 

Finn lands a quick peck on the younger’s forehead before returning to his space in front of the mirror. As he touches up his slightly smudged eyeliner, the faint sound of the door opening alerts Nick and causes his head to quickly lift and turn towards the sound. 

“You guys getting ready to go on the catwalk or what? The hell's taking so long?” The annoyed voice of Chris echoes in the bedroom as the male steps inside and makes a beeline for the open bathroom. The male sighs softly and crosses his arms over his chest when his eyes land on Nick and Finn who have both stopped what they’re doing. Finn slowly turns his head around to meet eyes with Chris, the hand that’s holding his eyeliner still inches away from his eye. 

“Just give us five more minutes,” Finn says with a soft huff. 

“Can you knock, please? You have no manners.” Nick mumbles as he lightly shoves Chris’s shoulder to push him out of the bathroom. 

“Whatever. Just hurry up please.” Chris rolls his eyes with a small sigh before he exits the room and gently shuts the door behind him. 

“You done?” Nick asks, turning his head to look over at his boyfriend who’s ruffling his hair. 

“Yeah, I'm done,” Finn replies as he shakes his head, his slightly curly bangs flopping down neatly over his forehead. “Wait, do you wanna wear something of mine before we head to the studio?” 

“Wear something of yours?” Nick repeats, a single eyebrow-raising. 

“Yeah.” Finn hums and guides the shorter out of the bathroom. “Since I'm wearing your sweater, you could wear the one I wore here. The fans would see that we’re wearing each other's clothes and they would freak out about it.” 

Nick softly hums as he watches Finn walk over to the stack of neatly folded clothes sitting on his desk. “I’m down.” As the redhead unzips his sweater and shrugs it off his body, Finn slips a hoodie with dark green and black stripes out from his pile of clothes. He walks over to Nick, the item in his right hand, and gives his boyfriend a small smile before handing it to him. “Will it fit me?” 

Finn’s smile immediately drops and he narrows his eyes at his boyfriend who gently slips the hoodie out of his hand. “Nick, are you serious?” 

“Dead serious. I’m clearly larger than you and have never worn your clothes before so.” 

“Nick… You act like you're two sizes larger than I am. You’ll be fine, baby. Just put it on.” Nick glances up at Finn and sends him an anxious expression before hesitantly slipping the hoodie over his head.

He swiftly pulls his arms through the sleeves and pulls down the end of the clothing item once it’s fully on him. Nick takes a moment to stare down at his torso and examine the hoodie loosely hugging his torso before he looks up and gives a small smile to Finn. 

“See? It fits you!” Finn beams with a wide smile. He walks closer to Nick and begins to fix his hair which was messed up while he was putting his hoodie on. As he begins to card his slim fingers through his boyfriend’s hair, the redhead hums softly and subconsciously leans into the touch. 

“Yeah, I guess it does.” Nick hums softly. “I think we should go to the studio before Chris beats our ass.” 

“I think so too. Let’s go, c'mon.” Finn takes Nick’s hand in his and intertwines their fingers before he pulls him to the door. The moment they both step out of the room, they enter the brightly lit podcast studio. 

At the sound of a door softly shutting, Matt perks his head up and looks over at Nick and Finn who are walking towards the pink and white booth he’s sitting in. 

“Finally.” Matt sighs as he shuts his phone off and tucks it under his leg. “Was starting to think that you two would never show up.” 

“Okay, calm down. We’re here, are we not?” Nick says, shooting a glare toward the younger. The male steps aside when he reaches the booth to allow Finn to take a seat first. After his boyfriend settles in front of a mic at the edge of the table, Nick slips into his usual spot in the booth as well. 

“Everyone good with their spots?” Chris asks, mainly asking his question to Finn. As he gently sets his hands on both sides of his mic, Finn abruptly lifts his head to meet Chris’ gaze. After locking eyes with the boy, he gently nods his head and shoots the male a small smile. 

“The cameras are on right?” Nick asks, his eyes drifting from the various cameras tucked in the corners of the room. 

“Yeah, they’re on. We’re all good to go, kid. Start when you’re ready.” Matt confirms with a small head nod. 

Nick lets out a small exhale through his nose before looking over at Finn who’s sitting fairly close to him, however not close to the point they’d be in the same camera frame. The taller looks over at the younger and swiftly takes his hand that’s under the table.

As he begins to trace comforting circles on the back of the redhead’s hand, Nick cracks a smile and averts his attention back to his mic. He looks down at it for a moment and glances over Chris, who gives him an encouraging head nod. Nick nods faintly, more as a reassurance thing for himself, before he looks towards his camera. 

“Good morning Campers and welcome back to the Cut The Camera Podcast!” Nick greets, a warm smile immediately taking over his features. “I am Nick Sturniolo and I will be your favorite host for today's episode.” 

“Yeah, yeah favorite host my ass.” Matt mumbles, rolling his eyes for a brief moment before he looks at his respective camera. “I’m Matt by the way.” 

“And I'm Chris!” The youngest triplets exclaims, a large smile clear as day on his face. The male plays his imaginary air guitar for a moment and mimics the sound of the said instrument before he stops and rests his hands on the table in front of him. 

“I’m going to go ahead and do the small introduction for this episode because someone over here is getting nervous.” Matt begins, his eyes shifting over to lock with Nick’s who sends him a warning glare. “Today is a very special episode because we have someone joining us today. You guys might know this person, some of you may not, but I'll allow Nick to introduce this person to you guys. Nick?” 

“Thanks Matt,” Nick mumbles, his voice trailing off as he subconsciously begins to fidget with Finn’s fingers under the table. 

“Is that sarcasm?” 

“That’s up to your interpretation.” Matt shakes his head with a soft sigh as Nick looks over at his boyfriend. The redhead can’t help but smile when the male sends him a small wink and quickly looks away from him to look at his camera. “Today joining us in the studio is my boyfriend, Finn. Would you like to introduce yourself to the viewers and or listeners?” 

“I’d love to.” Finn replies with a small smile. He brings his mic closer to his mouth with his free hand before he continues, “Hey guys, I’m Finn as you may know. I am 21 years old and have been dating Nick for almost three months now. I am a full-time Instagram influencer but am close to being a full-time model as well.” 

“Wait, you're close to being a full-time model? I thought that was a side job you had.” Chris asks, his head tilting to the side as he looks over at the blue-haired male. 

“Yeah, it was a side job but since my manager, shoutout to Kim.” Finn starts, making a small finger heart with his free hand before he continues, “Has been booking me a lot more, I’ve been getting more modeling opportunities. It’s like every other day that I need to go to a shoot so I'd say that I'm very close to modeling full-time.” 

“This isn’t a question we have prepped but since we’re on the topic, would you drop Instagram if you did decide to go full-time with modeling? I know that job is a lot, from what I hear from you, and I'm just wondering if it’d be a little difficult to juggle two jobs at once.” 

“That’s a very good question hmm..” Finn ponders for a moment, his lips momentarily shifting into a straight line as he thinks. “I don’t think so, no. Instagram means a lot to me considering how much of a following I have on there and everything. Not to mention how I started my entire career there so I think that suddenly dumping Instagram would be a lot. I’ve been healthy balancing that and modeling with no problem right now so keeping up my account shouldn’t be a problem if and when I decide to go full-time with modeling.” 

“I see, I see.” Matt hums, “Was it hard making a face for yourself on social media through Instagram? I feel like it’s a lot harder for people to reach popularity through Instagram since there’s so much on there. Also, guys, don’t worry we will get into relationship questions here in a minute.” 

Finn chuckles softly at Matt’s last statement, his head dropping for a second before he looks back up and replies, “It was a little difficult, yes but I just kept being constant with posts and stuff. I feel like the key to growing on any base is being consistent so that’s exactly what I did. I did experience some setbacks a few years into gaining popularity but I got over them eventually.” 

“When did you start social media? Like age-wise.” Chris asks. 

“I wanna say like 16,” Finn replies with a small head nod. “I wanted to start way younger but my parents didn’t let me so.” 

“I feel like 16 is a decent age to start this stuff at. I mean we started our YouTube career at 17 and just continued to work towards getting popularity. I was about to say fame but I find that a little corny. Besides, I think fame is too big of a word to describe what we have right now.” 

“I completely agree with the fame thing. I would never use that term to describe myself, no matter how big I get. I just feel like that’s more of a celebrity term. You know, singers and actors usually have that term tied to their names.” 

“Yes! I completely agree!” Matt exclaims, his voice raising a few octaves as he points a single finger at Finn. 

“Great minds think alike,” Finn says with a large smile. The two share a quick handshake before Chris breaks the small silence. 

“Nick, I haven't heard from you in a good minute. You doing okay over there?” Chris asks, a teasing smile creeping onto his lips as he glances over at the older who’s staring at his boyfriend. 

“Huh?” Nick hums, quickly snapping out of his gaze when Chris’ voice runs through his ears. “Oh, yeah I'm fine.” 

“He’s been staring at Finn this whole time. Is the sun shining out of his ass or something?” Matt asks, adding to the teasing as he nudges Nick with his foot. 

“Alright, enough of that. I didn’t sign up to sit through an hour of teasing from the two of you.” Nick mumbles, shifting his gaze from Finn to his two brothers. As he seemingly stares daggers at the two, Finn speaks up. 

“I can smell the edits now,” Finn says with a small laugh. “Oh my God, the way he looks at him.” 

“Not you too,” Nick says, his jaw dropping slightly as he looks over at his boyfriend who’s already gazing down at him. 

“I gotta agree with Finn here. I’m gonna see a shit ton of edits of the two of you on my for you page after this episode is out.” Chris chimes in, his speech slightly muffled due to his hands covering and rubbing his face. 

“Speaking of which!” Finn exclaims with a small smile, “If you guys make any edits of Nick, tag me in them, please. I need to see every single Nick edit in existence for me to live a happy life, thank you.” 

“Baby, I'm literally right here. Why do you need to see edits of me when I'm right next to you?” Nick asks, his eyebrows furring together as a bewildered expression takes over his features. Before he allows Finn to reply, he points at his camera and says, “Do the same with me please but for Finn edits, thanks.” 

“Okay, fucking hypocrite. I was just about to defend myself but it seems like we both have the same idea.” 

“Okay but in my defense, I rarely see edits of you. I need more in my life, seriously.” 

“What the hell is this conversation?” Chris laughs, gaining a small shrug from Matt who’s simply staring at the couple in front of him in disbelief. 

“Can we go back to questioning the kid, please? Or you two to be specific?” Matt asks, chucking when Nick and Finn both stop their conversation to look over at him. 

“My bad. Go ahead with the questions.” Finn apologizes with a small giggle. 

“Alright, first question about you and Nick.” Chris begins, scrolling through his notes for a moment before continuing, “When did you two first meet? Matt and I know what went down but the fans don’t so please enlighten us.” 

“Enlighten us is crazy,” Nick mumbles, his statement earning a small chuckle from his boyfriend. 

“Do you wanna say it or should I?” Finn asks, adjusting his position on the booth slightly so he can face the male next to him. 

“You can,” Nick replies with a small smile.

Finn gently nods his head and clears his throat before he starts explaining, “So the triplets and I were invited to this large influencer party in downtown LA. When I first met Nick, I found him staring at the bottles of liquor like he was seeing colors for the first time. I asked if he needed help and he agreed and let me help him. And before you guys say anything, I made him the least alcoholic beverages possible. Anyways Nick doesn’t know this but I could see him staring at me out of the corner of my eye the whole time I was getting his drinks.” 

“YOU COULD?” Nick exclaims, his face flushing in embarrassment as he looks wide-eyed at the male next to him. 

“Yeah, I could.” Finn giggles. 

“Stop, that's so embarrassing, oh my God.” As Nick hides his face in his hands, collective laughter sounds from the three boys in the studio. 

“Hey, I was staring at you too so it’s fine.” 

“You were?” 

“Absolutely, yes. The second you left the drinking area, I purposely dragged my friends closer to the area you guys were at so I could get a better look at you.” 

“I didn’t see you when I was looking for you, though. You must’ve found a good spot.” 

“You were looking for me?” Finn smiles widely at Nick as the male’s face heats up and takes on a soft red hue. 

Nick sputters for a moment before he voices his reply, “Yeah when we were leaving.” 

“Seeing how easily Finn makes Nick all flustered like this is fucking insane to me.” Matt states as he rubs a hand over his chin. 

“You guys will definitely see more of this when we get Finn in vlogs and whatnot but this kid literally has Nick wrapped around his pinkie finger. It’s fucking hilarious.” Chris adds with a small laugh. 

“Okay, can you two shut up please? Thanks.” Nick says, subtly flipping off the two males before he turns to face Finn again. 

“They do have a point, my love. You do get flustered quite easily.” Finn says, his statement earning a hurtful expression to spread across Nick’s face. Before the male gets to retaliate, the taller grabs his face with a single hand and brings him closer to him. Nick’s face darkens a shade or two as his nose brushes against his boyfriend’s and he slowly shrinks in his seat under the male’s strong gaze. 

“CLIP THAT! CLIP THAT!” Chris exclaims as he gets out of his seat and points at the two boys a few steps away from him. 

“The editors are gonna get a kick out of this episode.” Matt says, his eyes staying fixed onto Nick who’s staring up at Finn with slightly wide eyes. 

“Nick editors to be exact.” 

“Can yall shut it please.” Nick mutters, his efforts of sounding threading failing when Finn sends him a heart melting smile. 

“Finn, you’re gonna kill him.” 

“I’m stopping, I'm stopping.” 

_______

It’s currently Monday and Nick and Finn are huddled up in the redhead’s bedroom. A random movie they both agreed to watch is playing on the television however neither of the boys are paying any attention to it. Rather, the two are too occupied in being wrapped in each other's arms under a large blanket they stole from Chris. Comfortable silence drifts between the two, the only real sound filling the room being the movie and their synced breaths. 

“The podcast episode is being released in ten minutes,” Nick mumbles, his soft voice breaking the small silence in the room. 

Finn lifts his head from his spot on Nick’s chest. “Really?” 

Nick hums in response. “That means you’re gonna have to let me get up so I can upload it.” 

Finn chuckles softly and reluctantly removes himself from Nick’s hold to sit up and lean against the headboard. He takes a moment to stretch his sore limbs before he looks over at his boyfriend who hasn’t moved from his position. “Do you want me to get your laptop or are you gonna get up?” 

Nick shifts his eyes from the television in front of him to look over at Finn. “Can you get it for me, please? I’m too comfortable.” 

“Of course, give me a second.” Nick silently watches as Finn gets out from underneath the covers and slips off the mattress. The male walks a few steps to arrive at Nick's desk and disconnects any wires connected to his laptop before picking it up and returning to bed. “Here you go, my love.” 

“Thank you, baby.” Nick sends Finn a warm smile as he hands him his laptop. It was only then that the redhead decided to sit up and lean against the headboard. As he sets his laptop on his lap and turns it on, Finn shuffles closer to the male and leans against his shoulder. “I can’t believe this is happening.” 

“What? Us coming out as a couple to the public?” 

“Yeah. Don’t get me wrong, I'm glad we’re doing this but I'm still a little nervous.” 

“I am too, but don't worry too much. We got this.” Finn sits up a little to nestle his face in the crook of Nick’s neck. The latter can’t help but tense up at the feeling of the taller peppering the side of his neck with soft and tender kisses. Nick opens his mouth to comment on his boyfriend’s behavior but cuts himself off when the male bites down on the skin under his ear.

“Finn,” Nick whines, his eyes shut tightly as he subconsciously tits his neck to the side to give the male more access to his skin. 

“Hmm?” Finn hums, his focus staying fixed on the younger’s skin in between his teeth.

“I need to upload this, you’re distracting me.” 

“Am I now?” 

“Yes you-“ Nick cuts himself off yet again when Finn begins to suck on the same area he was biting moments prior. A low groan slips out of Nick's mouth as he moves his laptop off his lap and grabs his boyfriend’s bicep. “Finn, please.” 

The latter bites down on Nick’s tender skin once more before finally stopping and pulling away. Finn eyes the area he marked for a moment and can’t help the proud smile forming on his lips as the sight of a purpling spot under the redhead’s ear. “Might need to cover that up before we go downstairs.” Finn says as he rubs over the area with his index finger. 

“You’re helping me.” Nick grumbles as he grabs his laptop and pulls it back on his lap. “I’m getting your aas back for this by the way.” 

“I’d like to see you try.” Nick looks over at Finn and takes in his cocky grin. The male can’t help but scoff softly at the sight and returns to uploading the podcast episode. It only takes about five minutes for Nick to upload the video and when he’s done, he softly shuts his laptop and sets it on the nearby nightstand. 

“I’d like to try now.” 

_____

“Guys the fans are going fucking insane. I swear i’ve never seen so many fan pages edit a video of ours so quick-“ Matt starts as he opens the door to Nick’s room. He quickly shuts his mouth and stares wide-eyed at the two shirtless males on the bed, the only thing covering their lower halves being the blanket they were using earlier. Nick quickly slips off Finn and looks over at Matt who’s standing in the doorway, his face flush in embarrassment. 

“Matt! Fucking knock!” Nick exclaims as he pulls the blanket up to his chest. 

“My bad. I'm gonna go bleach my eyes now.” Matt sputters, his words mumbling together as he quickly exits the room and loudly shuts the door behind him. 

“God, that kid.” As Nick lets out a heavy exhale, he looks over at Finn who’s still lying on his back.

He takes a moment to stare at the male while his eyes are still shut and allows his eyes to wander down to his slightly parted lips which are taking in heavy inhales of air, his chest rapidly rising in the process. Nick’s eyes eventually wander to the taller’s hair, which is a lot messier considering what they were doing before they got interrupted. Before he allows his gaze to wander down to his exposed chest, Nick quickly rips his gaze away when Finn opens his eyes. 

“We should do this more often.” Finn breathes out as he blinks up at the male hovering over him. 

“Are you sure about that? I don't think you could go for much longer considering how fucked you look right now.”

“Oh, I looked fucked right now?” As Nick hums softly in response, Finn sits up slightly and leans against his arms, the crown of his head inches away from the headboard of the bed. As the taller gazes up at his boyfriend, he can’t help but let his eyes wander down to his chest. “Wait, I just realized you don’t have a shirt on.” 

“Oh,” Nick quickly looks down at his torso and peeks into the gap made from the blanket covering the majority of his upper half. “Yeah, I don't.” 

As Nick looks back over at Finn, a confused expression overtakes his features at the sight of the taller’s wide smile. “Why are you smiling so hard?” 

“Well it’s just that you’ve always been so huge on keeping a shirt on and not allowing anyone to see you shirtless and the fact that you are currently topless is just making me a little happy. You know,  because you were comfortable enough to take your tank top off and be bare during what we just did.” 

“Oh,” Nick mumbles again, a single arm raising to rub his nape. “Yeah, I do feel quite comfortable with you now. Besides, I feel like if we’re going to have 

sex or make out then I can't have my shirt on.” 

Finn’s eyebrows furrow at Nick’s last statement and he quickly sits upright. “Love, you know you don’t have to feel obligated to not have a top on when we do this shit right?” Silence falls over the two boys for a moment.

At the sight of Nick forcing his lips together and looking off to the side, Finn heavily sighs and leans his head against the male’s shoulder. “Sweetheart, if we’re going to have sex or shit like that, it is completely okay with me if you want to keep your clothes on. It’s not like I'm going to get upset or anything. I want you to be comfortable, okay?” 

“Okay.” When Nick turns his head to look over at Finn, the latter immediately captures his lips with his for a quick kiss. When the taller pulls away, he removes himself from his boyfriend’s shoulder and begins patting the area around him. “What are you doing?” Nick asks, his eyebrows knitting together as he watches the male slip his hand under the blanket. 

“I wanna see the feedback from the podcast episode. Matt said the fans are flipping their shit and I wanna see it for myself.” Finn replies, momentarily shifting his gaze to look at Nick before he pulls his phone out from under the blanket. As Nick gently nods his head with a small hum, Finn situates himself back against his shoulder and unlocks his phone. “I’m gonna check Tiktok first.” 

Finn spins his thumb around a few times as his eyes scan his lock screen for the said app and when he finally finds it, he clicks it open. It didn’t take a single scroll from the male for a video of himself and Nick to pop up on his feed. Immediately, the room fills with the sound of both boys talking with Daylight by Taylor Swift playing softly in the back. 

“I’m just really grateful that I met Nick at that party. At the time, I was struggling mentally, obviously, it wasn’t shown on social media and I tried my best to now show it either, but when I met him I just felt all my worries and shit wash away. He brings me such peace and happiness and seeing him nearly every single day just makes me so fucking happy. Honest to God, I don’t know what I would be doing if I never went to that bar that night.” Finn says, his eyes not breaking away from Nick’s as he looks at the male with a loving and heart-stuck gaze. 

“God don’t even get me started with how amazing a boyfriend he is. I swear he knows me better than I know myself. He knows me like the back of his hand and immediately knows if something is up just by looking at me. He’s so caring and sweet and I need to figure out how to repay him because he’s just so fucking amazing.” 

“Oh, cut the bullshit.” Nick states, his eyes rolling rather playfully before he shifts his eyes up back to Finn’s, “I haven’t really been in a proper relationship before so all this shit is new to me, and still kinda is in a sense, but I appreciate how Finn takes things so slow with me. Like when we first started dating yes we kissed and whatnot but it was slow like how we both agreed on. He didn’t overstep any of my boundaries and constantly asked me if what he was doing was okay with me physical touch wise and always asked if I was comfortable. I couldn’t be more thankful for how patient he was with me. I could go on a whole fucking tangent about how much I care and appreciate this kid but I think I’d need a whole other podcast episode for that.” 

“Might as well give you guys another episode to gush about each other,” Chris says with a chuckle. 

“Well, the next podcast episode will be a Nick and Finn exclusive guys! Be on the lookout for it.” Matt exclaims as he points at the camera in front of him. 

“Okay, don’t put that out there. Doing this shit was anxiety-inducing enough. We’ll feed the people when we feed like feeding them.” Nick says, his statement earning a small head nod from Finn. 

“Nick and Finn content soon guys!” Finn exclaims with a wide smile.

The TikTok continues for a little while longer with various clips of the couple being shown as Daylight plays more loudly. Nick and Finn take a moment to scroll through the latter’s for you page, the sight of the support from hundreds of fan pages bringing large smiles to their faces. 

“I think this was a success, don’t you think?” Finn asks as he shuts his phone off and reaches over to set it on the nightstand.

“I completely agree,” Nick replies with a small head nod. As Finn returns to his previous spot against the headboard, Nick wordlessly moves the blanket further down his legs to lay down on his lap. “Should we do a photo dump later?” 

“If you want, it’s your call.” Nick nods his head and abruptly stops when Finn begins to card his fingers through his hair. The redhead can’t help but the large smile creeping onto his lips as he subconsciously leans into his boyfriend’s hand, his actions drawing a smile from the taller who’s gazing down at him. 

“Thank you for being with me.” 

“Oh, Nick.” Finn bends down to land a soft kiss on Nick’s temple. “I should be thanking you, to be honest.” 

“Yeah, yeah,” Nick mumbles. The male takes a moment to flip onto his stomach and bury his face in Finn’s bare thigh. “Let me be sappy please.” 

Finn softly laughs at the male, “Alright, alright.” 

As Nick begins to land light kisses on Finn’s thigh, the latter begins to drag his fingertips up and down the younger’s bare back. The moment Nick feels the male’s fingers lightly brush against his skin, he tenses up with a choked giggle. 

“Finn…” Nick warns, “Don’t fucking start I swear to God.” 

“I’m not doing anything?” Finn asks, his eyebrows furrowing in pure confusion as he dips his head down to glance at the male in his lap. 

“Finn, you know damn well what you’re doing.” 

“Do you want me to stop? I will if you want me to.” 

“No, no!” Nick quickly reaches an arm back to grab Finn’s hand when he pulls away. “I didn’t mean to sound harsh or anything, I promise. It just feels really weird.” 

“Oh,” Finn mumbles with a small chuckle. “So can I continue?” When Nick nods his head and returns to his spot in Finn’s thigh, the latter continues his previous actions. 

The two sat there for the remainder of the day, their energy levels boosted up to the max simply by being in each other’s presence. Both boys finally had a weight they’d had on their shoulders for a month lifted off their backs and they couldn’t be happier. They finally felt free to do whatever they wanted couple-wise and knew that the fans would eat up all the content they gave them. They were forever grateful for the fans and made sure they were plenty aware of the fact through a few ‘thank you’ posts made on their public stories. 

In all, both Finn and Nick continued to stay happy with one another. They relied on each other constantly and were always there for one another. Nothing was getting in between the couple, their bond was simply unbreakable. Yes, they still had a long way to go in terms of their relationship but they were very content with where they are right now. Considering how the full story of how these two boys met and stole each other's hearts has finally ended on a happy note, most would believe that this would be the end. 

But that is not the case for Nick and Finn. 

Who says that there will stop being more content just because their series has ended? Their story has just started! 

·:¨༺ ♱✮♱ ༻¨:· TagList ·:¨༺ ♱✮♱ ༻¨:·

@freshloveforthefit @thenickgirl @patscorner @frankdelreyy @sturnssan @kileybankzz @robins-scoop @miloisdone1 @rootbeerworshiper @rubyperic-09 @teenagetrash00 @maryx2xx

comment to be added to the taglist and click here to know more abt it!

#sturniolo triplets #nick sturniolo #matt sturniolo #chris sturniolo #azul talks ✮ #matt x reader #nick x reader #chris x reader #nick sturniolo fanfic #nick sturniolo fluff #nick sturniolo x reader #nick sturniolo imagine #nick sturniolo x male reader #nick sturniolo x you

[carothehotmess]

While I wish we had gotten more time to see Rhaenyra and Harwin’s relationship develop, I am really glad we got so many scenes of her and Laenor.

Friendships are very rare on this show and in this world, especially ones that are based on genuine care for one another and not solely about how they can use one another. While Rhaenyra and Laenor’s bond began from finding a mutually beneficial solution to their problems, this episode showed us that there is so much more to their relationship than that.

We see Laenor acknowledging Harwin, and even taking the older boys out of the room so that Rhaenyra can have some alone time with her newborn son and his biological father. Laenor supports her when she’s weak, and distracts her from her pain, and never once rises to the bait whenever anyone questions the boys’ paternity. Other than that one scene where he was drunk and upset, he only ever refers to the kids as his or their children, even though they aren’t his biologically.

And Rhaenyra clearly cares about him, and cares that he is happy. Again, aside from that moment when he is drunk and she is pissed off and in pain, she seems to support him in whatever he wants. She is forced to watch the father of her children, the man who has supported her for 12 years, the man she (at least it is hinted) loves, walk away from her and their children, and yet she still considers Laenor and his feelings. It would have been so easy for her to say, “Well if I have to be lonely then so do you,” but instead she tells him to bring his lover with them when they leave.

I’m just obsessed with their friendship, and I’m so glad the writers of the show decided to highlight the importance of that relationship.

#hotd ep 6 #hotd thoughts #hotd spoilers #hotd #house of the dragon #rhaenyra targaryen #laenor velaryon #ser harwin strong #qarl correy #team black

[zebulontheplanet]

Hi, I wanted to ask how you experience being semi-verbal if that’s not too personal. I’m fully verbal, expect for occasional episodes of verbal loss and other than the times I’m overstimulated and feel “scared” of speaking, I have times where I feel “against” speaking if that makes sense. Like, negative towards it if that makes sense. I wondered if you ever experience the same thing, or if it might be common at all.

Hey anon! It’s not to personal at all and actually a very good question. I don’t know if you want like a “what’s it like being semiverbal” or a “what’s your experience with the public” so I’m just gonna do both.

My relationship with speech has always been complicated. I was always a quiet person, so in my teens when my speech started getting worse, I kinda just…accepted it in a way? I wasn’t too mad about it. I wasn’t really mad at all to be honest because I didn’t like speech in the first place. Although once I became semiverbal and started experiencing event WORSE speech, it upset me. Being semiverbal to me means that 90% of the time I speak in short sentences or just in simple words like, Yes, No, Maybe, Mhm, etc. I rarely speak in full sentences. That’s just who I am. I use an AAC device to combat this and get my words out when I can, however I do primarily still use mouth words because my family is very ok with me just speaking shortly or not at all. They’re very accepting of it and for that I’m grateful. I also experience very frequent speech loss episodes, which doesn’t make me semiverbal, but it does contribute to my speech problems. I also script a LOT and use echolalia a lot.

My experience with the public has been rocky. A lot of people assume I’m really shy, or quiet, or can’t speak at all. I’ve had multiple people assume I can’t speak. Which is like, ok..but I usually speak up for myself using my AAC device or the sentences I can use.

I think most of my issues with the public haven’t been bad until I started using AAC. People accepted I was quiet or “shy” but they didn’t accept that I used other methods of communication that wasn’t speech. That’s when the issues started and that’s when I started having bad experiences with the public.

I hope this helps and if you have any further questions then let me know! I don’t mind answering them. I hope this answered some of your questions and curiosity though. Have a lovely day anon!

#zebrambles #autism #actually autism #actually autistic #semiverbal #semi verbal #long post #thanks for the anon! #thanks for the questions anon!

[jessybarnes]

Take Away My Heartache

Fandom: Supernatural

Pairing: Dean x Castiel

Rating: 18+ Only!

Tags: SEASON 15 EPISODE 3 SPOILERS, Destiel, Arguments, Angst, Language, Drinking, M/M sex, Anal Fingering, Prostate stimulation, Anal Sex, Begging, Finger sucking, Unprotected sex, Implied self-blame, Dean is slightly OOC in this, and I think that's it.

Word Count: Over 3k

Beta: T. Thompson

A/N: This is a repost from my old Tumblr account. I hope you all enjoy it. :)

Reblogging Divider Created By: @cafekitsune

Supernatural Divider Created By: @firefly-graphics

Yeah, why does that something always seem to be you?

The sting of Dean’s words cut through Castiel’s heart like a knife as the sound of the Bunker door shutting behind him echoed in the distance. Truth be told, he’d give anything to run right back into his hunter’s arms and forget the argument ever happened.

His hunter.

Those two little words used to bring him nothing but joy, something an Angel of the Lord rarely felt. Now…Now, it only brought tears to his eyes because clearly, Dean wasn’t his. Not anymore. 

The dry leaves crunched beneath Cas’ shoes as he walked. The cool autumn air nipping at the skin exposed at his neck made him shiver. Not only were he and Dean over, but he’d lost Jack too. Never in his entire existence had he felt so alone.

Jack, his son, for all intents and purposes, was dead. Even though there wasn’t anything he could have done to stop it at the time, he still blamed himself. He’d made a promise to Kelly. He swore to her he’d keep her son safe and he couldn’t even do that. 

Hell, maybe Dean was right. Maybe he should have just stuck to the plan. They would have found a way to stop Belphegor. They’d saved the world before. This wasn’t their first go-around. Instead, he let his emotions get the better of him and killed the lying sack of shit while he had the chance. He’d figured Dean would have been proud of him, cheer at his braveness. Not once did he think Dean would dismiss him like their ten-year-long relationship meant nothing. 

Cas found himself in an all too familiar place. The barn where it all began. The very place he first stood face to face with Dean. It still looked the same. The various black warding sigils and chipped white paint were still there and immediately brought back every memory he shared with the elder Winchester. Finally, he let himself feel the emotions he’d been holding back. A choked sob left his lips as he sank down onto the cold, hard ground. 

The sound of glass shattering made Sam’s ears perk up. He hurried into the Library armed and ready only to find Dean hunched over the table. His hands splayed out on the dark wooden surface, the remnants of broken glass joined his beer in a wet puddle on the floor. Slowly, he lowered his gun and walked cautiously toward him.

“Dean? Hey, what’s going on? Where’s Cas?”

Dean didn’t look at him, his breathing heavy as his shoulders started to shake. Now, this was a sight. Sam couldn’t remember the last time he saw his brother cry this hard.

“Hey, whoa… Dean? C’mon man, talk to me.” 

Dean shook his head, his tears falling against the table’s veneer. “He’s gone, Sammy…”

Sam didn’t miss how broken his brother sounded. He wasn’t naive to the fact that Cas was intimate with Dean. You’d have to be blind not to know how they felt for one another. Sighing, he set his gun on the table and moved so he could see his brother’s face.

“Dean, you have to calm down. I’m sure he’s coming ba-”

The sound of the chair being kicked over made Sam jump, his brother’s tear-filled eyes boring into his own.

“WHAT DON’T YOU GET, SAM?! CAS. IS. GONE. NEVER COMING BACK! END OF STORY!”

Dean’s chest heaved as he fished the keys to the Impala out of his pocket. It wasn’t until his footfalls echoed down the hallway that Sam reacted. His long legs walked quickly after him.

“Dean! Wait, Dean, you can’t just leave while you’re upset like this!”

Dean didn’t react to his little brother’s plea, but that didn’t stop Sam from trying. He was hot on his heels as they crossed the threshold of the Bunker’s garage. The familiar creak of the Impala’s door broke the silence between them as Sam waited for a response. Dean fired up the engine and gripped the steering wheel, the tips of his knuckles turning white as he let out a long shaky sigh.

“Don’t you get it, Sammy? I break everything I touch. I’m poison. Happiness wasn’t meant for me. This life ... there’s no chance at love when you’re a part of it. I push everyone away and I’ll be damned if I do something to ruin the last relationship I have. Let me go, Sammy … before I force you to leave me too.” 

Reluctantly Sam stepped back and watched Dean drive away. His brother’s words tore at his heartstrings as the sleek black car disappeared out of sight. Part of what Dean said was true in a sense. Rarely did someone with their job description find happiness. He’d tried … time and time again he had tried.

First with Jessica, the love of his life from his Stanford days. Then there was Amelia, the sweet veterinarian with a heart of gold. Eileen was another one that ultimately ended in tragedy. 

Of course, there were others that Sam had been romantically involved with, but more often than not his love interests shared something in common with one another. They weren’t hunters. They didn’t spend every day knowing what went bump in the night or lurked just beyond the shadows. That’s one thing that was different between him and Dean. Before they’d met Cas, his brother didn’t care much about settling down. One-night stands were his specialty, something that Sam often envied. 

The moment Castiel made himself known to them, Dean’s whole demeanor changed. It was subtle at first. He started cutting back on the number of women he’d spend the night with. Then came the not-so-discreet glances. Cas was oblivious to them of course, but Sam wasn’t. He’d known his brother all his life so he was quite familiar with that look. Dean was attracted to the Angel. Once his stubborn brother got enough alcohol in his system he finally made his move. The rest was history. 

The silence in the garage became almost deafening as Sam’s thoughts continued to race through his head. They’d lost so much recently. Their Dad, their Mom, Jack, and Rowena. So many people they loved were gone. He’d be damned if Dean lost Cas too. 

He half jogged back into the library and picked up the broken pieces of his brother’s beer bottle. After cleaning up the wetness with a towel from the kitchen, he headed back to his room to get his phone. Hopefully, Cas still had the one they’d given him. He held his breath as the shrill ringing filled his ears.

“C’mon … C’mon”

His persistent voice was the only sound in the room other than his boots pacing the floor. 

After the third ring, he finally heard the gruff sound of Cas’ voice.

“H-Hello?”

A wave of relief washed over Sam.

“Cas? Hey, don’t hang up okay? Just… hear me out…”

He waited, listening for any sort of acknowledgment from the Angel. When he didn’t get any, he took the opportunity and kept going.

“First things first, where are you? Are you safe?”

A cough and a low groan made his chest heavy with worry.

“Cas?” 

“Sam, you don’t need to worry about me. I’m an Angel. I can take care of myself.”

Sam frowned and stopped pacing, his hand finding purchase on his hip. “That’s not what I …” He sighed, not wanting to be the second person that argued with him today. “Look, Cas, I realize it’s not my place, but I know what you have with Dean is worth fighting for. I’ve never seen him as happy as he is with you. He’s just… he’s a little lost right now. In no way am I defending his actions because I don’t know what was said, but I will stand here and say that my brother loves you. He’s madly in love with you, Cas…” 

A shaky breath on the other end of the phone told Sam that he was still there.

"I...I love him too, Sam. Like I've never loved anyone or anything before."

Another ragged cough told Sam that Cas wasn’t being forthcoming with how bad his health really was and it worried him. Hell, shouldering pain and wounds was one of their specialties after all.

“Cas, listen to me, okay? Everything that’s happened recently has taken its toll on all of us. I can’t speak for you or Dean, but having to … to” A shaky sigh left his lips as tears threatened to slip down his cheeks. Eventually, a few betrayed him and his vision became blurry as he forced the words out. “... kill Rowena wasn’t exactly a walk in the park.”

He cleared the lump in his throat and swallowed thickly.

“What I’m trying to say is we can get through this. We’ve saved the world so many times, and I’ll be damned if we let God’s little temper tantrum do us in.”

Cas wasn’t saying anything, but his occasional exhale told Sam he was still there.

“Please, Cas. Just tell me where you are so I can come and get you.”

Neither of them said anything for what felt like an eternity. Finally, relief washed over Sam when he heard the Angel respond.

“The barn … I’m at the barn where it all began.”

“I’ll be there as fast as I can, Cas! Just … stay there.” Sam hung up and began packing his duffel bag. 

Dean welcomed the smooth burn of the whiskey in his glass as he knocked it back. Maybe if he drank enough he’d be able to forget those sad blue eyes and how he was the cause of said emotion. The bartender eyed him curiously but filled his glass again nevertheless.

“Relationship problems?”

Dean downed the golden brown liquid in two gulps before sliding the cup back.

“With all due respect, it’s really none of your business. Now, if you’d be so kind, I’d like to drink until I’m numb. In fact, just go ahead and leave the bottle.”

After tossing a few twenties and sporting a stern look, the man seemed to get the message. Even if Dean didn’t want to be alone with his thoughts, it was better than sharing them with some stranger just to be judged. He took another sip and groaned happily. Yep, being alone was much better. 

The vibration of his phone startled him out of his thoughts once again.

“Now, what?” He grumbled.

Seeing his brother’s name lit up on the screen made him roll his eyes, but he swiped to answer anyway.

“Dammit, Sammy. I’ve been gone for a few hours what could you possibly…” He was cut off by the frantic edge in Sam’s voice.

“Dean! It’s… It’s Cas… he… he told me he was at the barn where you met. I went to get him a-and now he… he won’t wake up.” 

Dean felt his blood run cold. 

He pushed the stool away from the counter and all but ran back to the Impala.

“What do you mean he won’t wake up?!”

Baby’s tires spun as Dean pulled back onto the main road toward the Bunker.

“I-I-I don’t know, Dean… He’s breathing, but he seems to be in some sort of celestial coma? When I talked to him on the phone, he kept coughing and wheezing. I don’t know what to do. Normally, I’d call Rowena, but… she’s…”

Dean cut his brother off before he could finish, his knuckles white on the steering wheel for the second time that day.

“Sammy, listen to me. Just get back to the Bunker as fast as you can. I’ll meet you there, and we will figure this out … the Winchester way.”

He ended the call and tossed his phone on the seat next to him, his boot pushing the gas pedal all the way to the floor. 

The moment Sam arrived with Cas, Dean was there to help. They carried him to the hospital wing in the Bunker and carefully laid him on the cot. Dean couldn’t help but notice how sickly his angel looked. He’d lost weight, his skin was pale and hot to the touch, and his lips were chapped more than they normally were.

Tears threatened to fall from his eyes as he looked at his brother in defeat. “Sammy… I.. I can’t lose him. I was so stupid… so fucking stupid…” His shoulders shook violently the moment he let his emotions take over. 

Sam was determined to make things better again. Not just for his brother, but for the sole fact that he refused to let anyone else they cared for die.

“Keep an eye on him, Dean. I’ll hit the books and make some phone calls. You should stay here just in case he wakes up.”

All Dean could do was nod and watch as Sam walked away. He turned his gaze back to Cas, his fingertips reaching up to gently caress his cheek. He was afraid to do much else. 

Eventually, Dean’s eyes grew heavy as the adrenaline wore off from earlier. Leaving Cas was out of the question, so he did the only thing he could think of and gently curled up on the mattress beside him. He slung his arm protectively over the angel’s torso and carefully laid his head against his chest.

He couldn’t help the memories of their first night together flooding his mind. How they listened to music in Baby and drove out in the country to look at the stars. A tear slid down his cheek as he began to softly sing their song, the one that Cas insisted they listen to on repeat the whole trip home. 

I can hear her heartbeat for a thousand miles And the heaven's open every time she smiles And when I come to her that's where I belong Yet I'm running to her like a river's song She give me love, love, love, love, crazy love She give me love, love, love, love, crazy love She's got a fine sense of humor when I'm feeling low down Yeah when I come to her when the sun goes down Take away my trouble, take away my grief Take away my heartache, in the night like a thief She give me love, love, love, love, crazy love She give me love, love, love, love, crazy love Yes I need her in the daytime  Yes I need her in the night  Yes I want to throw my arms around her Kiss and hug her, kiss and hug her tight Yeah when I'm returning from so far away She gives me some sweet lovin' brighten up my day Yes it makes me righteous, yes it makes me whole Yes it makes me mellow down in to my soul She give me love, love, love, love, crazy love She give me love, love, love, love, crazy love She give me love, love, love, love, crazy love She give me love, love, love, love, crazy love

The last thing Castiel remembered was seeing Sam’s concerned face. Then there was only darkness. He wasn’t dead, no, this was something different. A coma maybe? He couldn’t open his eyes or move, but he was able to hear everything going on around him.

Angels normally don’t go through things like this, but if their bodies get too worn down then they go into somewhat of a protective mode. He figured this is what happened to him when he used the last of his strength to teleport himself to the barn. His celestial powers needed to replenish. 

He hated hearing how worried Sam and Dean were. He especially hated how much Dean blamed himself. He’d spent so much time showing his boyfriend how much good he brought to the world, and now he felt like Dean was closing himself off again.

He’d only wanted to take some of the stress from Dean. That’s why he chose to kill Belphegor instead of letting him do more damage. Cas knew Dean didn’t mean to hurt him and he longed to tell him how sorry he was. 

It became a waiting game, letting his vessel reenergize itself. There was no telling how long it would take, but Castiel took comfort in knowing that the man he loved was snuggled into his side. If only he could have comforted Dean and wiped his tears.

The sound of the elder Winchester’s voice filled the small room, and it was then that he realized Dean was singing to him. Cas’ heart both soared and broke at the same time by the emotion in his voice as the lyrics flowed freely from memory. The last thing he heard before Dean fell asleep was him saying how sorry he was and how much he loved him. 

Dean groaned and tightened his grip around Castiel. What time was it? Had Sam found anything? Several questions ran through his mind as he prepared to open his eyes. Before he could, he felt a hand smooth down his back. His heart skipped a beat as he sat up.

Beautiful blue eyes gazed into his own, and Dean looked at him like it was the first time he saw him all over again.

“Cas?! Cas! Oh, I’m so happy you’re okay. I’m sorry for the things I said to you before. I was so stupid and I know you were just trying t-”

His rambling was cut off as Cas smashed his lips against his. Their tongues danced together and when Cas finally pulled away he was panting as hard as Dean was. 

“Dean, you have nothing to be sorry for. I forgave you the moment it happened, and there’s nothing you could do to make me love you any less. You will always be perfect in my eyes. Forever the Righteous Man I saved and rebuilt all those years ago. I love you.”

Dean placed another emotional kiss on Cas’ lips, pouring all his love and need into it. Never in his life did he think he’d be able to settle down with anyone. Being a hunter of the supernatural meant a short life span more often than not. He was conditioned to not get too attached to anyone, but with Cas, he couldn’t help himself. This was different. Cas was different, and without the Angel, in his life, he’d be incomplete. 

The need to feel Castiel’s touch nearly took his breath away. No words were spoken as they rid each other of their clothes. Cas flipped them over so he was hovering above Dean, his blue eyes glowing with power. Dean felt his cock swell in anticipation, his breathing becoming more ragged by the second.

“Cas, please…” 

Castiel began to trail kisses along his jaw, nipping at the skin now and again. The moment he began sucking at Dean’s pulse point he could feel just how much he needed him. His cock was pinned between Cas’, the tip weeping beads of precum.

“I love seeing you like this, Dean. I love when you let go for me and let yourself be vulnerable."

Dean whined shamelessly at his words, his hand reaching between their bodies to slowly stroke Cas’ cock.

“Mmmm, Dean… Gonna make you feel so good.” Cas brought two of his fingers up to Dean’s lips, pushing them into his mouth. “Suck.” 

Dean obliged, swirling his tongue skillfully around his digits. Cas nearly came undone at the sight below him. The way the elder Winchester fluttered his eyes shut the moment his perfect lips closed around them, his soft moans as his slick tongue flicked over his fingertips and the constellation of freckles littered over his skin. Reluctantly, Cas pulled them free and pressed one against Dean’s entrance.

“Relax for me.”

It wasn’t a command, but Dean knew it would do him well to obey. The first few moments were always painful, but the pleasure Cas promised was better than anything he’d ever felt. 

“C-Cas… I… I need you. Please… don’t make me wait… F-Fuck!”

Cas knew he’d found Dean’s prostate just from the sound of Dean’s plea. His fingers grazed the bundle of nerves making the man beneath him shiver.

“As much as I’d love to fuck you into this mattress, Dean, I very much like hearing you beg.” 

Dean whimpered as Cas continued to slowly fuck him open with his fingers, his hands fisting the thin sheet under him.

“Unngh! P-Please fuck me… need you inside me so bad.”

Cas smirked and peppered kisses along Dean’s chest. “I know you can do better than that, Dean. I’ve seen you do it.” 

Dean arched his back and cried out, his mouth opening in a perfect “o” shape.

“I need it! Oh, fuck I n-need it, Cas! Need you to fuck me until I can’t think anymore… Please…. Oh, fuck! Please. Please. Please…”

Finally, Cas gave in. His cock replaces his fingers as he slowly thrust inside Dean to the hilt. Both cried out in unison, their bodies thrumming with arousal. 

Cas leaned down to kiss Dean softly before starting a steady pace. It was a wonder the poorly built cot didn’t break beneath them. Dean’s cries filled the small room as Cas fucked into him relentlessly.

“Oh, fu-... C-Cas! Oh, Cas! R-Right there!”

They’d done this enough that Cas knew Dean was close. The way his body shook, how desperate he sounded when he moaned, and how he clenched around him. He’d normally draw this out, and take his time with his hunter, but this was something they both needed. 

Cas began to stroke Dean’s thick cock in time with his thrusts, his angelic grace causing the lightbulbs above them to burst with all the energy in the room. Both of them fell over the edge together, Dean’s cries swallowed by Cas’ kiss. Once they came down from their high, Cas carefully pulled out of Dean and pulled him close.

“Dean, you complete me. From the moment my father told me to rescue you from Hell, I knew my life would change forever.”

Dean kissed Cas sweetly and nuzzled into his neck. “I love you, Cas. M’heart s’yours.” 

Sometime later, Sam came home from the library and noticed how quiet the Bunker was. He made his way to the hospital room and snorted to himself at the broken glass on the floor. Glancing at the cot, he smiled widely at the sight of his brother and Cas asleep in each other’s arms. 

“Thank God.” He breathed.

#j snow writes #supernatural fanfiction #spn fanfic #destiel #dean x castiel #dean winchester #castiel #deancas #dean winchester x castiel #cas #spn fanfiction #supernatural fanfic #destiel smut #deancas smut #dean x castiel smut #destiel angst #deancas angst #dean x castiel angst #destiel fluff #deancas fluff #dean x castiel fluff #smut #fluff #angst #18+ only #mdni #minors dni #minors do not interact #no minors allowed #no minors please

[damn-stark]

Chapter 1 Who’s that girl?

Chapter 1 of Stargirl

A/N- I HOPE YOU GUYS LIKE IT!!!

Warning- Swearing, angst, fluff! SLOWBURN, long chapter.

Pairing- Steve Harrington x fem!reader

Episode- 2x01

(Let me know if you want to be tagged)

————

“What do you think?” He asks as he takes a bite from his burger.

What do I think? Well…dearest father, it’s the most rural place we’ve stayed at, it reeks like cow manure, there’s only one high school here for the entire town so if the desire to change schools occurs it can’t happen unless you are willing to drive me like an hour out of town…

Then again you’ve never actually went to an actual school with people your age. Since you move around a lot you’ve always been homeschooled with either your father or grandmother as your teacher, so there’s little you think you’ll complain about…maybe just lack of friends, or uh…overpopulation of assholes. Yeah, that’d be a deal breaker.

“Well,” you sigh and put your burger down. “It’s something. Uh, grandma was right, it does stink. But,” you pause and shrug whilst you meet his brown eyes. “It’s cozy. It’s quaint.”

Your dad chuckles and looks out the car window. “Quaint? Yeah, yeah. But it’s home,” he grumbles with low enthusiasm. He also wasn’t a fan of...Hawkins? Yeah that’s it, Hawkins—Even if he was the one that grew up here.

You hum and lower your sunglasses to the bridge of your nose to take a better look at all the greenery that lays ahead of you. At least that’s one of the pros of moving out here, this place is green, there’s trees everywhere, you even live by a lake! You’re used to city landscapes so trees, lake houses and small towns are like blue moons; Rare and quite beautiful.

“Are you gonna go see uncle Jim?” You ask your father and throw a fry in your mouth.

Your dad hums for a moment before he lets out a deep breath. “Yeah,” he answers hesitantly. “I’ll surprise him at work.”

You drift your gaze to the corner of your eyes and see him with his jaw clenched which never means anything good, so you don't press on that touchy subject and put away your food. “I’m too nauseous to keep eating.” You throw your head back on the headrest and groan. “Maybe I can go with you, or go organize the house?”

Your father had people go move everything in and organize everything before you got here, but going to school with so many people is upsetting your stomach, and making your heart and mind all panicky and fast moving.

“House is organized, and I’m going to work,” your dad says and blinks to meet your gaze.

“Yeah,” you huff, “a job which consists of sneaking around and talking to people.”

“Today,” he corrects you. “But still, after all that sneaking,” he mocks you. “Then it’s a lot of talking on the phone, computer shit, and filling out paper. You hate that stuff. So, you go to school, make some friends, see if any of the teachers remember me—”

“They can’t remember you if they’re dead,” you grumble and bounce your eyebrows. “You are ancient.”

He scoffs and shakes his head. “Just…have fun,” he shrugs nonchalantly.

You roll your eyes and groan out dramatically so he knows you’re bugged. You then proceed to rest your arms over the open window, and rest your chin on your clasped hands to pout.

And it’s at that very moment that you look through the rear view mirror, that you catch the gleaming brown eyes of a guy with the best brown styled hair you’ve seen a guy wear. He has nice thin pink lips, he’s tall from what you can notice, and slim but not super scrawny, he’s like, perfectly built, like Tom cruise! Yeah, that’s right, he’s like a Tom cruise type, only this guy is a lot cuter.

You shouldn't have been able to notice so much in that little time he passes by, but the funniest thing is that time seemed to slow down a bit.

Albeit he was walking around with some brunette girl so he didn’t care about you.

“So you ready then?”

Maybe now that you’ll be in somewhat of a stable living condition you’ll get a boyfriend! Maybe a guy as nice looking as that guy that passed by.

“Kid?” Your dad calls out again and nudges your arm.

You snap your eyes over to him and quirk a quizzical brow. “Huh?”

He snickers. “Ready to go in? I have shit to do.”

You sigh and lift your chin off your hands to take your sunglasses off your face and put them away, even if it goes with the mini black dress, and the black knee high boots over the tights. It may be a lot for school, but…what do girls wear to school?

“Let’s go,” you mumble and hide your nerves.

Once you get inside the school it’s when the stares all direct at you, no one is shy to look away especially because your dad is walking at your side, and well you are the new girl. It makes you feel like you’re under a spotlight, or like you just got in trouble and have to be escorted to the principal. You try to ignore the wandering stares as best as you can, but they do make that knot in your stomach only feel worse.

You would’ve hooked your arm around your fathers, but you were already getting talked about and stared at so you just dig your nails on your palms and stick by your dads side the entire way to the front office. When you do reach that office, just as your dad is going to open the door for you, some guy with a blond mullet, a denim over denim outfit, and a creepy smirk holds the door open for you.

“Thank you,” you tell him.

The guy shoots you a wink and then looks you up and down before you walk past, making you scrunch your nose in disgust, and then look back at your dad with a teasing smile once the guy is gone.

“That is a guy you wanna stay away from,” your dad whispers to you.

“Were you one of those guys daddy?” You ask him.

Your dad shakes his head. “Nah, I was nerdy back then. I was picked on by the guys that looked like that. Your uncle always got in trouble ‘cause he stepped in to protect me.”

You smile softly since this is one of the rare times he talked good about his half older brother; same dad but they had different moms.

“I wonder if those same guys would pick on you now,” you retort with a smirk.

Your dad scoffs softly. “I’d like to see em try.”

“How can I help you two?” The front office lady asks, cutting off your conversation with your dad.

“Yeah,” your dad agrees and turns to face the young red head—or well she isn’t young, but she is younger than the other lady across from her. “Actually, it’s my daughter's first day of school today, I came to sign some papers.”

The lady’s eyebrows lift as she now realizes who you are. “Oh, the new senior, okay. Just a moment let me grab those papers for you now.” The lady gets out of her seat and walks to the cabinet at the other end of the room.

“Here,” your dad directs at you and turns to hand you your backpack he had been carrying. “Remember I’ll pick you up after school so don’t try to sneak off somewhere,” he says with a feigned stern tone since he really doesn’t mean it. He just likes to sound authoritative with you in front of other adults.

You playfully roll your eyes and nod stiffly. “Sure, sure.” You swing your backpack over your shoulder, but now, hoping he’d change his mind and let you stay home now, you part your lips to ask, but then the door opens and that brunette girl that was with the cute guy walks into the office alone.

She’s very pretty, and has a very prominent jaw, like the kind the celebrities have. Is she senior too?

“Here they are,” the lady returns and presses the papers on the counter for your dad to sign. “Will you be the main parent to contact, or will it be the mother?”

You look at the red headed women and then glance at your dad.

“No, no,” he chuckles and begins to fill out what was highlighted on the sheets. “It’s just me. No mom.”

The lady lowers her glasses to check out your dad and slowly sits back on her chair. “If it’s just you and her then why move all the way out in the middle of nowhere.”

Your dad shrugs. “Just wanted to give my girl a calm life, we’ve been around a lot so I, uh, wanted to give her a more simple life like how I had back in my prime.”

The lady smiles and leans forward to bat her eyelashes and show more of her cleavage to your father—She wouldn’t be the first. It’s weird, women hear that he’s a single and caring father and the ladies swoon.

He doesn’t fail to notice it either, he always likes to flirt with women this way because he says it’s the simplest trick in the book; showing he cares about his family, and showing off that he was a caring single dad. He also says that when you were a baby women would swoon and flock around him.

Do you believe that? Hardly.

“We encourage every student to take an extracular,” the lady says but keeps looking at your dad. “Here’s what we have open.” She places another piece of paper on the table and points to the top labeled ‘activities’, and then drags her pen down to mark the women’s sport section.

When you look at what they have for sports though, all the shit is lame for women.

“You should give band a try,” your dad suggests. “Play the trumpet like your old man.”

You hum and shrug. “Eh, how about women’s soccer?” You look up at him to meet his gaze. “I could try that considering there’s, like no boxing or you know stuff like that.”

“Did you come to Hawkins?” The lady interjects and pulls your fathers attention away.

“Yeah, I did, a long time ago it seems like now. I’m Rowan Hopper.” He reveals.

The lady’s eyes go wide and she has to take off her glasses to…look better?

“You’re related to Chief Hopper?” She probes with a curious look.

Your dad nods stiffly. “Yeah, he’s my older brother. Half-brother. Did you go to Hawkins?”

You roll your eyes and circle the sport you want to enter and slide the paper back to the lady. “Here,” you cut her off to continue this progress before you last here all day.

The lady blinks and drags her eyes to you and sighs before taking the paper. “Okay, I’ll tell the coach. Practice is every Tuesday and Thursday after school.”

You hum in agreement and push yourself back from the counter since you’re done.

“Here’s your schedule,” the lady says and shows off a sheet of paper with all your classes on it.

When you take it she gets up and walks around the counter to reach the same brunette girl. “This here is Nancy Wheeler, she’ll be your chaperone for the day. She’ll show you to your classes.” She feigns a smile, and you meet Nancy’s gaze to shoot her an awkward tightlipped smile.

“That’s all we need, you’re free to go, thank you,” the lady continues and now gets closer to your dad to actually grin. “Come back whenever you want, I can show you around if you’d like.”

You stifle your teasing laugh, and catch Nancy’s amused look that matches yours at the sound of the lady being so bold with your father.

“I might have to take you up on that offer,” your dad retorts with a small smile before he turns to meet your gaze. “I’ll see you later kid.”

You let out a deep breath and nod stiffly. “Okay.”

He begins to back away, but first pulls his finger close to the corner of his lips, and then curves it upward to motion you to smile.

You scoff at his speechless message and offer him a tightlipped smile.

He doesn’t like that response though, so he repeats himself, causing you to sigh and offer him a sweet smile.

“Good, good,” he says and reaches the door. “I’ll see you later my dear, have a good first day.”

You offer him a small goodbye wave and a sadder look. “Bye daddy.”

Said man shoots you a smile before he turns and walks out of the office, leaving you with your guide Nancy now.

“Okay,” she cuts in and walks over to you. “I can show you to your locker, it’s right by mine.”

You look over at her and nod in comprehension before she leads you out.

It’s quiet between you and her for a few seconds. You haven’t really had many friends, or had the time to talk to anyone your age, so it’s hard to know what to talk about, but you try.

“Are you senior too?” You ask her.

Nancy steals a quick glance and shakes her head. “No, I'm a junior, but we share a lot of the same classes. And well, we don’t get many new kids here but when we do, helping them is extra credit.”

Ah a big shot. Your dad told you about people like her. He was once like her too, so you can’t say they’re terrible people, actually she's the kind of person you should be friends with.

“Ah, well, thanks anyway,” you exhale and look around at all the gawkers watching you like if you’re their next meal. “This is my first day at an actual school, so I,” you giggle nervously. “Would be completely lost.”

“Actual school,” Nancy quotes with a curios gaze. “What do you mean?”

“Well…” you pause and avert your gaze. “I’ve been homeschooled almost my whole life until now.”

Nancy’s already big eyes go even wider, and her lips spread to a faint amused smile. “Wow, that’s interesting. Why the sudden change? I mean you’re a senior, you’re almost done with school.”

To avoid exposing what little you do know about your dads mission here at Hawkins, you shorten your short version. “Well…my dad came here so I said why not give it a try? Get the high school experience before I can’t.”

Nancy hums softly and nods along. “Nice. Well I really hope you like it, even if coming here isn’t so exciting.”

You laugh softly, and slow down to a stop alongside her as she walks to a pair of lockers. “Well, you know I’m actually looking towards the slow boring days,” you share with her, and surprise yourself because you are sharing.

You aren’t shy, or you don’t think you are, but you also didn’t think you’d be diving so deep with someone yet. “My dad and I move around a lot, in and out of the country for his work, never too long anywhere so I’m actually excited for the mundane stuff that Hawkins has to offer.” You add.

Nancy blinks and peers back to meet your gaze with a spark of interest that twinkles in her eyes and shows off a small smile. “Well you put it that way,” she mumbles and turns to open her own locker. “Then it’s hard to argue.”

You hum and look at your paper to read the number of your combination. You do know how to do that so you open it with ease, but as you do, from the corner of your eye you catch the cute guy from before sneaking up on Nancy from behind. He catches her by surprise and wraps his arm around her neck before pressing a kiss on her cheek.

Nancy giggles and squirms away from his touch, letting you shove nothing in your locker since you actually don’t know what you need yet, it’s just awkward to watch them, so you just look at the empty and small locker.

“Hey, y/n,” Nancy calls.

You shut the locker door and slowly turn to face her and him.

“This is Steve…”

So that’s his name? He looks like a Steve.

“Steve, this is the new girl, Y/N, she just transferred from homeschool, she’s actually a senior too.” Nancy introduces and plasters a small smile on her face.

The guy throws his hand up for a stiff greeting, and then lifts his chin. “Hey.”

You draw in a deep breath and smile softly. “Hey,” you exhale, and find yourself holding his gaze for a moment before you pull your eyes away and look at your schedule. Unbeknownst to you he keeps his gaze on you for another lingering second.

“Well, I’ll catch you later Nance,” Steve interjects. “I need to grab something from my locker. I just came to say hi.”

Nancy gives him a comprehensive response before he presses a kiss on her lips, letting you know the status of their relationship. He in fact is not single….

“Come on,” Nancy directs at you now and points her head down the hall. “I’ll show you to your first class.”

The walk there is short but is now filled with silence. You would have tried to fill it, but one, you are very much disappointed by him being taken, even if you weren’t going to try something either way. And two, you also can’t speak because of your never ending set of racing nerves that riddle your body. It’s why when you reach your class you step just to the door, and then pull your head back to watch Nancy get out of sight before you rush to the bathroom just down the hall from the class.

Thankfully no one else is inside so you face the window and exhale deeply.

Today shouldn’t be so hard, you tell yourself—it’s like another day at your dads office…those rare times he gets to go—

Only these aren’t adults but kids your own age, judgy kids who haven’t stopped looking at you.

You stick out like a sore thumb here! It’s awful—but you’ll get over it, it’ll be okay. You’ll make friends, go to class and blend in.

You’ll live a normal life for however long you last here.

Isn’t that what you’ve wanted, what wished for afterall? Stability? An ounce of normal in your hectic life?

Well this can be it, stability.

You exhale again, and pull out your lipgloss to apply one more coat before you walk out and head back to class just as the bell rings in the somewhat empty hall. The only one also walking the hall is Steve, and he seems to be walking to the end of the hall where your class is.

Does he have the same class? Hm?

And just as you think about him he looks back and finds you, but he then looks back ahead quickly. A couple seconds pass and he looks back again; does he have something to say or what?

You’d move but you have the same class so you stay and keep walking behind him.

Steve peers back once more, so you scoff this time and throw him a comment. “I’m not following you if that’s what you’re thinking.” You open your schedule and point to the first class. “See, same class.”

Steve turns around to walk back and face you. “Never thought that, but now that you are showing me, did homeschooling not teach you how to hold a paper right? Aren’t you people supposed to be wicked smart?”

You blink rapidly in disbelief and scoff as you turn the paper around the right away. “Did homeschooling not teach you how to hold a paper right?” You mock him.

Steve narrows his gaze on you before he rolls his eyes and feigns a dry laugh. “Real mature. Guess you just proved me wrong.” He teases with a playful smirk.

You shoot him an unamused glare and quip back. “You started it, now I’m heading to class.” You huff out and pick up your pace to walk past him.

“Yeah?” He scoffs. “Well me too.” He picks up his own pace to beat you to the same class.

You roll your eyes in annoyance, but you also can’t help but smile faintly at the ground before you walk in your first class.

——

*LATER*

Lunch, a break between classes before the rest of the day. It’s not as different as home, albeit usually you did eat lunch with your grandmother or your father, and the food was…uh…way more appetizing than whatever slob they give here.

Regardless, pushing that plate aside, Nancy. You asked if she’d like to have lunch with you so you wouldn’t sit alone in the cafeteria in the middle of all the other students with clics of their own, but, well she isn’t here. Nor is her boyfriend. It’s been 10 minutes now too. Perhaps she’s just running late.

Or she just doesn’t want to talk to you and pretended to be interested in what you had to say between classes….

Yeah….that sounds right—but! You’ll give her the benefit of the doubt and keep waiting.

Eat? No, you’ll bring your own food next time.

Think about going to, “Tina’s Halloween bash.” And get “sheet faced”? Yeah, it sounds promising. Cool. You've never been to a high school party so it should be cool, especially because it’s a costume party!

Maybe you can be—well that’s still up for debate, but it should be cool. Maybe you can even make more friends, considering the one you wanted to be with isn’t showing up. Great.

Maybe being outside will make you seem less like the new girl. At least you won’t be gawked at as much anyway.

Thus you push yourself off the bench and pick up your tray. Yet just before you can turn away from the chair a plate slams on the spot across from you.

You slowly lift your eyes and notice a guy with long brown hair, a leather jacket over a band shirt, and kind brown eyes.

“Hello, new girl and welcome to Hawkins high!” He greets with a wide welcoming grin.

You slowly sit back down and offer him a small smile. “Hi…” you mumble.

The guy rests his elbows on the table and then rests his chin on his hands before leaning in. “I’ll tell you my name if you tell me yours.”

You squint your eyes and feel your lips tug to a wider smile. “Y/N?”

He narrows his gaze and picks on that. “Is it y/n? Or are you messing with me? Or are you just not sure, I’ve heard you’re homeschooled.”

You roll your eyes and shake your head. “I was homeschooled, not kept from learning. I’m just….unsure.”

“Unsure?” He quotes and picks his head off his chin. “About what? Me?” He points at his chest.

You shrug. “You know you just come here, leather coat, long hair like Ozzy Osborne, I just need to be cautious.”

The guy's eyes go wide and his smile widens. “Don’t shit me girl, you know Ozzy Osbourne?”

You narrow your gaze and furrow your brows in confusion at his question. “Yes. Why shouldn’t I?”

The guy looks you up and down and then points at your dress. “Because you’re dressed like that?”

You chuckle and nod. “Yeah, I guess lookwise I kind of give a different perspective, but, that’s why you can’t really judge me based on my looks.” You shrug playfully.

The guy chuckles and then smiles softly. “You’re right. So y/n—”

“First,” you cut him off. “I gave you mine, now give me yours.”

The guy holds your gaze and shares what you ask for. “Eddie. Eddie Munson.”

You shoot him a sweet grin. “Well thanks Eddie for taking time from your lunch to talk to me.”

“Well,” he says and picks up his plastic spork. “You looked lonely so I came out of pity.” He smirks.

You feign a laugh, but then go serious. “You are joking right? Because if you aren’t, this makes things weird.”

Eddie snickers and nods. “I’m messing with you, but really I came because you did look lonely.”

You mess with your food and sigh. “I was waiting for my guide who agreed to lunch but she bailed.”

He hums and then takes the orange flier from the table. “You got invited to this thing?”

You hum in agreement. “Yep. This girl was just handing them out so I took it.”

Eddie’s eyebrows begin to knit together out of cursoity. “You goin’?”

You shrug. “I don’t know, depends if I can come up with a last minute costume. Are you?”

Eddie slams the paper down and shoves food in his mouth. “I’m too much of a loser to be invited to one of those parties.”

“What?” You quip. “Loser? Really? I don’t see it.”

“You,” my friend he says and swallows his food. “Haven’t been here long, so let me tell you, me and my friends. The band geeks, some of the school newspaper people, and you know all that stuff, are considered losers here by the jocks and everyone who has enough of daddy’s money to buy themselves some friends.”

You set your utensil down and look around at everyone having lunch before you look back at Eddie. “I can’t say I agree with you, I’ve been homeschooled my whole life up until now. All my school experience comes from tv and my dads stories. If I go to that Halloween party it will be my first highschool party ever, but from what I’m experiencing now, I think you’re cool. I mean besides Nancy, you’re the first person who’s bothered to have an actual conversation with me.”

Eddie’s offers you a half smile and nods slowly. “Thanks. You’re cool too, especially because you know Ozzy Osbourne. But I don’t want to taint you, you’re new, pretty, you can have cool friends.”

You nod. “Yeah, but will they actually be genuine if all they care about is my looks, and my daddy's money, as you say?”

“Guess that depends.”

You hum softly and take the flier from the table to shove it in your backpack.

“But can we rewind and touch on the fact that you haven’t gone to a high school party before?” Eddie points out, making you cover your face and grow hot out of embarrassment.

“I told you,” you remind him. “I’ve been homeschooled. My dad moves around a lot for work, so as to not keep moving schools, he just chose to teach me, and let my very strict grandma teach me. I can’t really make friends and go out if I’m hopping on a plane every other month.”

Eddie leans over and slams his hands on the table. “Well you my friend are going to crash that party with me.”

You put your hand down and slowly begin to smile with joy. “Really? That sounds like fun. I'm down.”

——

*LATER*

Much of the second half of school was quite boring, a lot of stuff that the teachers talked about is stuff you already learned so it serves mostly as a reminder. Which…can be useful for tests…

That girl Nancy, showed up after stranding you at lunch and did not forget to throw apologies, saying that she forgot she was going to help her boyfriend study, and that she literally forgot about lunch. It doesn’t make a good impression to you’re already cautious mind, but you ignore the warning and let it slide.

It’s not like you have much options anyway.

And now home. Your dad got home and went off to report, type, and write about his mystery day. He has failed to come out of his office, so you’re left to your own devices. Which consists of staying in your living room watching tv and doing homework, you’re just not used to so much space, it all feels…forbidden. It just doesn’t feel like it’s yours yet. You’ll give it time though, soon your mind will come to terms that your current house is more than just a square.

Albeit there is one aspect that does make you grasp how big your house is, and that’s how lonely it all makes you feel. Usually you’re content knowing that your dad is in the room next to yours, but now you’re in the living room and he’s upstairs, far, and closed off in his office.

He didn’t even come down for dinner.

Maybe you should pay him a visit. Cure yourself from this loneliness.

“Hey,” you call softly. “Dad.” You tap your fist on the door again and press your ear against the door.

A few seconds pass before his voice travels out. “Come in.”

You slowly open the door and first peak your head inside. “You missed dinner,” you say as you watch him spin around on his chair to face you cautiously stepping in his office. “So I brought it for you.” You walk in fully and show off the plate.

The corner of his lips tug upward slightly. “Thanks,” he mutters while he watches you walk in.

“How was your day?” You query whilst you study his office and look out for anything that will clue you as to what he’s been doing today.

Your dad takes the plate from your hand and actually redirects your question. “How was yours?”

You narrow your gaze and stay quiet for a few seconds, finding his avoidance off, but not questioning it too much yet. “It was…” You sigh and shrug. “Cool. It’s weird.” You smile. “Going to class. Being around so many people my age. I mean some classes are quite boring because I already know what they were teaching, but…I think I like it. I like school.”

Your dad hums softly. “That’s good baby. Wh-what about that chaperone girl?” He wonders. “You make friends with her? She seemed nice.”

“Yeah,” you agree and lean against the wall. “She was nice but she was kind of…weird…she was in and out. At times it feels like she does wanna be my friend, but she then pulls away. Is that normal?”

As your dad takes a bite from his sandwich he drops his gaze and blinks slowly. “Well you're basically strangers, give her some time. Get to know her. Invite her over, or I don’t know, hang out.”

Yeah he is right, you can’t have her be your bestest friend in a day. Maybe you’ll see her at the party, or-or maybe you can hang out the day after! That’d be nice.

“Get this though,” you add excitedly and dig in your sweaters pocket to pull out the party invite. “I got invited to a halloween party!” You hand your dad the paper so he can look at it, and then fiddle with your fingers. “Could I go?”

“Hm,” he hums and then swallows back his food and scoffs in amusement. “Sheet-faced. That’s…funny.”

“Yeah,” you scoff. “Not so creative, but can I? I met a guy, he said he’d accompany me. He’d even pick me up.”

Your dads gaze lifts at the mention and rather than picking on the fact that you mentioned a boy, he begins to smirk. “Sure, you can go.”

You beam and clap. “Yay.” You run over to him and wrap your arms around his neck. “I thought of my costume already…drum roll please!”

Your dad puts the plate down and pats his hands on the handles of his chair.

You skip back away from him, making him follow you with his eyes.

“David Bowie!” You announce. “More specifically, a costume he wore in his The 1980 Floor Show. The one with the nets and fake hands.”

Your dad grabs his plate again and smirks. “I’ll like to see how you pull that off for tomorrow.”

“Don’t doubt me, I can do it. I’ll be the best dressed one there!” You clasp your hands together and swing them down. “Now my keys! Please.”

Your dad sighs deeply before spinning around and swiping your car keys off his desk. “Just be careful, okay? No drinkin’, or you know pumping music to loud.”

Just as you’re about to snatch your keys from his hand you look at him with a growing smile. “Pumping music?” You repeat as you begin to giggle. “Dad?” You shoot him a playful glare.

He throws his hands up and finds nothing wrong with it. “What? I heard someone say it!”

You burst out laughing harder and swipe your keys from him. “I’m gonna go pump music in my room now,” you tease him and laugh louder as you begin to stride out of his office.

Rather than staying in his office your father follows after you whilst he eats his sandwich. “Mhm, I love tomato stems in my sandwich.”

You peer back and click your tongue. “Shoulda made dinner than. Besides vitamins…can’t having you lacking at work. Who’ll keep up with my expensive taste then?”

“College fund,” he muffles with his mouth full of food. “Or drugs. It’s a growing business.”

You giggle and walk into your open room, and throw your keys on your bedside table before you stop by your bed and just look at it.

With all the moving around for his work you’ve actually never had a bed of your own. Never one you can pick out pretty covers for, never one to say “yeah that’s my bed”. You can’t complain about motel beds, or rented homes, but they don’t compare to this, this was yours, your own.

“Now,” you whisper and take your slippers off to jump on your bed. “Tell me,” you add with a grin. “How was your day?” You drag yourself further on the bed and cross your legs to bounce on the bed.

It’s so soft and bouncy, not hard whatsoever. It smells new too, not used and washed by cheap soaps.

“I met with Jim,” he finally shares. “It was…uh…awkward at first, but it was…nice I suppose.”

You scoff and pat the empty space beside you. He doesn’t fret, he puts his plate down and takes the seat beside yours.

However he then gets up and runs to the entrance. You’re about to question him, but he then turns the light off and hurries back to his spot. “Lay back,” he orders.

Your eyebrows furrow, but you don’t question him and do as he asks, seeing he lays back too. Yet seeing him do it only confuses you more.

“So, we—”

“Look up,” he cuts you off.

You draw in a deep breath and flicker your eyes up to the ceiling. That’s when you gasp as you see glowing stars slowly brighten.

“I just thought I’d make this feel like home,” he whispers and turns his head to look at you.

The gesture wasn’t big, they were silly stars that glow in the dark, something for kids, but it means a lot to you that he remembers.

“Do you like them? Or are they embarrassing now?”

You smile in awe and tilt your head down to meet his gaze. “I love them daddy.” You grin happily and look up at the glowing stars again. “Maybe we should have dinner with uncle Jim. Mend what’s broken?”

“I offered,” your dad says with a sigh. “He shut me down, but I did meet up with an old friend, Bob Neeby.”

Oh, right, his nerdy best friend.

“He invited me for lunch tomorrow.”

You hum softly in comprehension, “that’s good. You won’t have to hang out with me all the time now.”

“Yeah,” he agrees. “It is weird.” He jokes.

You laugh softly, and then let a comfortable silence take over but only for a little while.

“So,” he breaks the short silence in a more serious tone this time. “I think this will be my big break.”

Your smile falters as you hear him share what you’ve been after.

“You remember the lab I told you about?”

You nod slowly.

“Well,” he continues. “This lab it’s crazier than I was told. It’s more than just experiments. Get this…a boy is presumed dead, there’s a body and everything, but a few days later he comes out alive and it’s like nothing happened. And a few days after he disappeared, a girl disappeared too around the same area, but she didn't come back,” he sighs.

“I spoke with the parents and they say that she was caught up in something that leaked from the lab. Or that’s what Jim told ‘em. But the weird thing is that there’s no body. She just disappeared close to the lab,” he says almost excitedly.

You let out a shaky breath and slowly look at him with a scared frown. “You believe the leak is true?” You ask in a frightful voice.

Your dad sighs and shakes his head. “No. There’s something more going on. There’s unexplained deaths, missing files…unsolved calls. Someone’s covering shit up,” he deadpans. “I’m here to take it all down though. End it all. There’s evil in that lab. I’ll set things right.”

“And after?” You bring up with hope. “Do we get to settle down?”

Your dad lets out a deep breath and nods. “Yeah. After this we stop moving. I go back to Washington, we find a good home there and we just live.”

You turn your gaze back to the stars and can’t help your hopeful smile. “Promise?” You ask.

“I promise,” he assures you.

.

.

.

.

#fanfiction #damn-stark #Stargirl #stranger things #stranger things fanfiction #stranger things fanfic #stranger things series #steve harrington fanfiction #steve harrington #steve harrington x woc!reader #steve harrington fanfic #steve harrington x fem!reader #steve harrington series #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington fluff #keanu reeves #eddie munson #nancy wheeler #chapter 1 #Jim hopper

[cookinguptales]

Y’know, I think one of the most refreshing things for me in WWDITS s4 has been the categorical refusal to turn Nadja into a mommy. It would have been so, so easy to do it and I think most shows would’ve.

I mean, how many times have we seen it, both IRL and on tv? A baby shows up, someone needs to take care of it, the only woman around goes into mommy mode because ~that’s just what women do~ and it’s what they’re expected to do. I was fully expecting Laszlo to adopt Baby Colin and for Nadja to end up coparenting with him. She’s his wife, after all.

But then that absolutely did not happen. If anything, I think I’d go so far as to say that she’s the least maternal and/or paternal person in the building. It’s not that she hates children or anything; she’s just physically incapable of telling one apart from a raccoon. Which is also nice. Some writers are so bad at writing women with complex desires that any woman who doesn’t want to be a mother is automatically turned into some unfair “baby-hating harpy” stereotype.

Laszlo has taken this child under his wing and loves him, even if he’s not always the best father. Guillermo also loves Colin, and though he’s not his father, he’s probably the most paternal (and probably also maternal) out of any of the people there. (And I feel like they’re also breaking down stereotypes about what it means to be paternal vs. maternal but that’s a whole separate essay.) Nandor is at least willing to hang out with the boy and has displayed highly paternal instincts in previous episodes.  But literally Nadja’s only interest in Baby Colin is how she can make money off of him, and that’s so valid. lmao

It’s especially nice because Nadja clearly does value family. It seems to be one of her primary drives, in fact. She brings up her family more than any other character, even though they’ve all been dead for hundreds of years, she’s more than willing to defend her (again, deceased) family’s honor, and it’s what finally started to break down barriers between her and Guillermo. Nadja very much values family. She just does not want to be a mother.

She does not want Guillermo to see her as a mother figure. She wants no part in parenting Baby Colin. She displays the maternal instincts of your average old boot. Nadja is not a mommy. 

And the show never once judges her for that.

(I mean, Guillermo might, but he has his own issues. lmao)

There has never been an episode where her not caring for Colin has upset him. There has never been an episode where he’s been harmed because she’s not providing him with affection. The narrative has never once punished her for her total disinterest in the care and raising of the creature that crawled out of the body of their dead friend. There has never been any expectation that she’d take care of Colin.

The closest we’ve gotten to that was probably Guillermo complaining that none of the vampires know anything about Colin and that it’s fallen solely on him, the “nanny”, to care for him. But that seemed like an equal indictment of all the vampires and seemed kind of wrapped up in Guillermo’s own abandonment issues.

What I’m getting at here is that Nadja has never been expected to put in more work with Colin because of her gender or because her husband was the person who decided to adopt the Colin child. She’s never been expected to parent him, she’s never been expected to be maternal towards him, she’s never been expected to shift around her life plans for him. She’s just happily embezzling from her own nightclub like the insane vampiric boss she is.

And boyyyyy I love that for her. It’s so rare and so refreshing and I love this show so much.

#she and guillermo are BOTH going full gaslight gatekeep girlboss this season #and I love that for them both lmao #wwdits #wwdits s4 spoilers #nadja of antipaxos #wwdits meta

[candygalaxyyy]

I realized something very important about msp and the screenwriter/director’s choice in building the plot. And episode 10 is a great example.

As i was rewatching the brilliance that is episode 10, I thought to myself if this was any other standard bl it would have gone differently. A tumor is such a serious matter, especially when it’s your mother, the only immediate family Gun has, he’s only 17/18 and he lost his father at a young age in such a sudden way. So of course he is going to be upset or even mad when his mum keeps this from him. And Tinn being in on it too, because in a relationship being open is so important and trust/honesty is everything.

I also noticed that Gun may have felt insecure (or possibly threatened) by the fact that his mum and Tinn kept this secret from him (which are valid feelings). Mostly because he says things like: “stay the hell out, she’s my mum”, “I’m your son yet i had no idea you were sick”, “what did he do for you?” and “why are you adoring him so much?” (He doesn’t even say Tinn’s name because in this situation he’s an outsider, he’s not her son or family member). And at this point Gun doesn’t know that his mum knows about Tinn and him or about all the sweet things Tinn has done for his dream. So him being confused/insecure/upset is warranted because he only has his mum. He is possessive of his mum, because they only have each other and her trusting someone else who isn’t family with such a important thing is puzzling for Gun (even more with him thinking she doesn’t know). And the best part about all of this is that both Tinn and Gun’s mum knew it would upset him, so they came prepared for his reaction. Gun’s mum explains everything to Gun instantly and makes him realize how deep and true Tinn’s love is for him, plus she emphasizes that this type of love is rare and must be cherished. Tinn doesn’t get angry or hurt by his reaction, he understands it and even reassures him that he would react the same way.

GMMTV could have easily used this to create tension for drama and conflict. They could have thrown in some trusty miscommunication, a heated conversation where people say or do hurtful things, a gateway to the ‘cursed ep 11 breakup’ and they could have milked the f out of this conflict. But they didn’t!!! Instead they turned it into a touching episode about love, friendship, family and being thankful for the people around you. They used it to highlight six things:

1. The beautiful relationship between Gun and his mum. They rely on each other, care for each other and love each other. They are mother and son, they are family.

2. The deep and pure love Tinn has for Gun. It is unconditional. Tinn did all these things for him without expecting anything in return. He just wants his crush/now boyfriend to be happy!

3. Gun realizing that Tinn is precious and he means much more to him than he lead on. That this is not some little high school relationship, it’s much deeper and heavier than that. So deep that he comes to the revelation that he’s only singing his song for Tinn and not the competition.

4. Gun’s mum supporting her son in everything whether it be his dream or love life. And the growing mother-in-law and son-in-law relationship between her and Tinn, like this woman already trust him with her life. She’s planning the wedding as we speak.

5. Their friends are amazing. Tiw constantly supporting his bestie and giving him advice. The chinchillaz boys comforting and hugging Gun on stage when he finds out his mum his safe and the surgery went well.

6. TINNGUN ARE THE HEALTHIEST, SWEETEST AND MOST BEAUTIFUL SWOONWORTHY BOYFRIENDS IN BL HISTORY.

‘My school president’ is truly a gem and GMMTV hit the jackpot with GeminiFourth. Case closed.

#my school president #msp #msp ep10 #tinnaphob jirawatthanakul #guntaphon wongwitthaya #tinngun #geminifourth #gemini norawit #fourth nattawat #bl series #thai bl #gmmtv series #healthy boyfriends #no miscommunication in this house #they’re so cute #they’re so in love #i hate it here #but i also love it #i love them #everything about them is cute #gun’s mum is a legend #i need her hand in marriage now #she’s so real #best bl mum

[leather-blr]

deciding to show a collection of phineas and ferb paraphernalia i have collected following the events of the latest Christmas Day. my family and friends have been generous this year, gifting me with many engaging and rare items.

my tenor ukulele is now gracefully painted with a wide variety of unlicensed phineas and ferb stickers. now wherever i may perform, the audience shall know of my illness. fun fact: you may notice the class of 2022 sticker. i did not graduate in 2022.

second, there is bap. he is a perry plush (official), but he is bap to me. you can find him on amazon among other places. He is weird and freaky!

next to him is a ducky momo pin, referencing the episode “Nerds of a Feather”, where we see the same design appear as a misprinted ducky momo plate. i’m assuming this was bought from GabbyDoodles etsy store page, it is unofficial

and my most prized possession: the officially licensed perry the pillow pet. for some reason the merchandise pnf wiki link to the item is non-functional, so here’s a working one to the pillow pets page where you can get one for yourself. he is soft, high quality, and the perfect shape. Make your nights more comfortable with Perry Offical Pillow Pet

below is an image attached of me in my kitchen wearing a perry the playtpus onesie (unrelated), donning Disney's Phineas and Ferb Double Pow Black/Teal Full Size Backpack (16in). it is official as well, despite it not being listed on the fandom wiki (shame!) i know it’s For Boys (tm), but the criminal lack of isabella upsets me. otherwise, it is a great and novel item. I am so ready for my first day of kindergarten!

last but not least, attached the to Disney's Phineas and Ferb Double Pow Black/Teal Full Size Backpack (16in) is a cute little key chain. this is unlicensed and was made by CooperButterStuff on etsy. very high quality item. a favorite of mine

The harvest begins

#phineas and ferb #bap the baby playtpus #bap the baby #bap

[lilac-hecox]

Ian realizes he may have a crush on Tommy. Tommy realizes he may have a crush on Ian. Something pushes one of them to make a move.

Ian/Tommy - Crush

--

Of all the stupid things to make Ian realize he has a crush on Tommy, it was watching the fucking Spymate movie with him and making fun of it for his show. The movie alone wasn’t what made Ian realize, but it was a vital part of the puzzle. It was hearing Tommy’s jokes, and listening to him laugh, and seeing the spark in his eyes when he found something really funny. It was how Courtney had said that he and Tommy were both keen to be deadpan, to veer on the darker side of comedy.

Tommy was interesting and hilarious and very easy to have a crush on. Who could blame Ian? It’s not something he would ever act on, especially because Tommy just got out of a long-term relationship, but then Tommy comes to him after the episode is uploaded and smiles all soft and fond and says, “That was really fun, I’d love to be on again.” And Ian feels a little breathless.

“Anytime you want,” Ian says with a somewhat nervous laugh, “consider it an open invitation.”

Tommy quirks an eyebrow and seems like he’s about to say something before he decides against it, instead giving Ian a little smile and walking away.

--

During Ian’s birthday roast episode Tommy mentions how the two of them are alike, and how the two of them are single, and something about it only highlights how much Ian is feeling drawn to Tommy. Is it that deep down loneliness that makes them compatible with each other? That begs the other internally to ease that self-doubt and insecurity.

Tommy is exceptional at playing confident, but Ian has seen the extremely rare moments that his real insecurities come out and Ian sometimes feels it is like looking in a mirror. All comedians at one point or another use their pain as fodder for their art, Anthony is a living breathing example of that, no matter how many times Ian tells him he’s not upset, doesn’t hold anything against him.

--

At Smosh’s 18th birthday party someone brought a cooler of alcohol. Now, granted they are a fun workplace, but it is the mid-afternoon on a Friday on company time. Still, a few drinks are had and Ian maybe has one White Claw, and when they find out that Food Battle 2023 has hit the trending page and Ian finds himself wrapped up in people hugging him, he quickly realizes that one of those people is Tommy, and Ian is looking up into his eyes, and Tommy is smiling down at him with a fond yet goofy and all too earnest grin.

It would be so, so easy to kiss him. That’s the moment Ian pulls away.

He briefly retreats to his office to clear his head, get his mind right. That was too close, the temptation to kiss Tommy too much for him at the moment. He is alone when he hears a knock on the door. Ian opens it and finds Tommy standing there, a long and lean line in his doorway.

“Hey,” Ian says, a little breathless.

“You slipped away so fast,” Tommy says as a way of explanation, “wanted to make sure you were okay.”

“I’m okay,” Ian says, “Maybe I had too much to drink?”

“You had one White Claw and I’ve seen you do shots of whiskey,” Tommy says with amusement in his voice, “can I come in?”

Ian backs up and lets Tommy into his office. Tommy shuts the door behind him. Ian feels nervous, too hot in his sweater for California, for being this close to Tommy.

“This might be one big HR violation but…did I catch a vibe back there?” Tommy asks.

“A vibe?” Ian croaks out, sure his face is getting red.

Now Tommy looks nervous, “I just…it felt like we were having a ‘moment’ or something?”

Ian is quiet and Tommy slowly turns as red as Ian feels.

“Nevermind! Please forget this conversation ever happened and let me know if I need to start submitting my resumes to other companies? Do you think Anthony would give me a reference letter? I-“

“Wait!” Ian says, interrupting Tommy’s nervous babbling.

Tommy does wait, turning to face Ian.

“Fuck, okay, there was a vibe or whatever.”

Tommy gives a half-smile, “It’s cute when you say it.”

“Because I’m the ‘dad’.”

“Because you’re cute,” Tommy corrects.

He steps closer, closes the space between the two of them. He smells like some cocktail that Ian can’t name.

“So, again, huge HR violation but would it be okay if I kissed you right now?”

Ian looks up at Tommy and nods, “Um, yeah, definitely okay.”

Then Tommy meets Ian half-way, and their lips press together, and Tommy gently shifts Ian’s party hat back so it doesn’t poke him in the face as they kiss.

#tommian #ianbowe #polysmosh #smoshships #my writing #crush #my fic #my fics #fan fic #fan fiction #ian's day #Ian's day 2023 #i think i love this pairing?? #rarepair #ian/tommy

[moonshineplaydate]

Hiya against starlights! I’m taking a quick break from Hazbin content because I have been dying to pump out some Murder Drones Agere content, because it is very underrated and there is a new episode coming out which I am very, very excited for! Here’s some long overdue headcanons!

Ps, sorry for my absence, exams suck.

Tw: Mentioned knives, not proofread (very sleepy).

Uzi Doorman

•Uzi is a switch, that flips between an involuntary regressor and babysitter!

•Her age range can be anywhere from 2-6 depending on why she’s regressing, she’s normally younger if she’s scared or upset.

•Uzi wasn’t much of a fan of her regression, it totally ruined her dark and edgy aesthetic if she was acting like a little kid!

•Though, after meeting N and seeing him regress, she began to soften up juuuuust a little bit. She ended up slipping after the whole Promening ordeal and pretty much clung to N. She didn’t want to lose him again.

•And afterwards, she felt a lot better now that someone had taken care of her! N pretty much became Uzi’s full time caregiver after that, always trying to be there for the little one!

•Since she had a caregiver, she was actually about to regress more and slowly came to terms that it was a part of her.

•Uzi is scared of the dark when she’s little, part of her little gear is a night light that makes it look like they’re stars on her bedroom ceiling. She says it’s her ‘favouritest thing ever!’

•Speaking of her little gear, she has a purple paci along with some cozy black PJ’s to wear!

•She’s partially touch averse, things like hugs or kisses are a big no no, but being picked up, head pats, hand holding are all things she loved when she’s small.

•Uzi can be pretty quiet when she’s little, when she’s with someone she doesn’t know/like/doesn’t know about her regression, she just doesn’t talk at all. She’s really only verbal with N and V.

•She sees V like a big sister when she’s little, and V doesn’t have the heart to be mean to what’s basically a kid and plays along with her.

•Uzi likes nicknames when she’s little, even if she doesn’t show it her whole face lights up whenever she gets one!

•Her favourites are, ‘Baby Bat’, ‘Little Rascal’, and ‘Honey’.

•Uzi can get fussy when she’s little, not for any particular reason, she just doesn’t like listening to people all the time.

•N has to be patient with her to avoid tantrums.

•Uzi actually really loves bed time, she finds it peaceful, when she’s either a little or a caregiver!

•Uzi makes a pretty decent caregiver, usually to N.

•Has the vibes of a very chill babysitter, who says they hate kids but really doesn’t.

•N really cried once when he was little because he heard her say that, and she had to spent an hour comforting him and telling him she didn’t mean it.

•Can be a very relaxed babysitter, but whatever she says goes and she will not back down on that.

•Acts a bit softer with the littles just so she doesn’t upset them, is still pretty edgy though.

•Uzi sometimes makes little robots or machines to keep littles entertained when she can’t watch them fully! No rail guns though.

•She talks to littles like normal, and not like their a child. But she still uses nicknames for them and can be affectionate.

•Lowers herself down so she can look her littles in the eye when she’s talking to them.

•All in all, pretty fun and chill to be around when your little, especially if you wanna get away with things!

Serial Designation N

•Oh, the sweet baby boy. Literally.

•N is definitely a flip, though I see him forced into being a caregiver role more often than not. Not maliciously or anything, he just gets caught up with looking after Uzi and very rarely V. (Never J though, she still doesn’t like him, even if little).

•N is a pretty versatile caregiver. He’s able to lower himself down, so to speak, to his little’s personality/how they’re feeling. If he’s got a quieter little, he’ll also be quieter. If he has one that’s more excitable, he’ll be pretty happy and bubbly with him! If he has one that’s violent, well, that’s something he has to sort out.

•N first learned about regression through some books in the mansion, but didn’t think robots could do it until he saw V regressed once. Since then, he just took up the roll of being a caregiver.

•And he was (and still is) amazing at it! He keeps a bag with some emergency little gear (things like pacis or toys) in case anyone needs them, he never leaves the littles unsupervised, is great at calming them down or getting them to bed.

•Even though N is great is interacting with littles, he’s not the best when he’s the little.

•N’s age range can be from 7 to younger than that, again, depending on his mood, usually how stressed he is though.

•N first started regressing after everything that went down with Cyn, and didn’t really do well at hiding it on a small spaceship from V and J.

•J was still disinterested in the whole thing and basically pawned him off to V to take care of him, who did a decent job. She wasn’t that emotionally intelligent and usually just bribed him with toys, and rarely cuddles, to get him to stop crying.

•It probably took N a while to explore his little side, mainly because he didn’t have many opportunities to regress. Or rather he did, he just didn’t want to bother anyone.

•But oh my stars once he was more open, he became a total sweetie!

•N is definitely a very giggly little, everything is funny to him when he’s in his little space!

•He can be a little shy and usually keeps his hands over his mouth or his arms at his sides, he sometimes has trouble speaking but it depends on how he’s feeling. He can get pretty loud if he’s excited!

•N loves being picked up, but it’s a little difficult due to his size so it’s usually V who has to do it, or he’ll have to settle for sitting in someone’s lap (which he also loves)

•N’s little gear consists of a blue paci, some nice, comfy PJs, a couple sensory toys that he can fiddle with, with his hands and a golden retriever teddy that he called Vun!

•He LOVES Vun, little or big though he’s a lot more clingy to it when he’s little and practically needs to sleep, or power down with it.

•N has a hard time speaking if he’s feeling really small and has to rely on gestures, like holding up his arms if he wants to be carried, pointing to things he wants, etc.

•N really loves nicknames when he’s little, his favourites are ‘Special little guy’, ‘Sweetie’, ‘Darling’, and ‘Baby boy’!

•He calls his caregivers a variety of things, V is usually just V since it’s easy for him to say, Uzi is usually too hard for him to pronounce and he just babbles whenever he tries to say her name! Tessa is also one of his caregivers but they don’t get much time together.

•Had a really bad habit of thumb sucking before he got his paci.

•Not good with asking for things when he’s little so his caregivers have to make sure that N is doing what he wants to do and not just whatever’s easiest for everyone else.

•All in all, just a total sweetie, big or small!

Serial Designation V

•V is a flip (I’m saying that a lot, I can’t help it, these fit being a flip so well, I can’t imagine them not taking care of at least one of the others) whose regression is a lot more rare than N’s or even Uzi’s.

•I think she’d be more of a sleep regressor or even a trauma regressor, whichever it is though her regression is definitely involuntary.

•She wouldn’t want to be vulnerable like that in front of someone, so would try and hide to be alone while regressed.

•V generally regresses to around four, so she thinks she’s big enough to be on her own.

•She really likes small spaces when she’s small, like in a closet or underneath a bed, it feels secure.

•That’s also the reason part of her little gear is a weighted blanket, however those work for robots, she loves hiding underneath one! It’s best for her caregiver to leave her alone if she’s like that and not let know that they’re watching her, otherwise she’ll get grumpy someone’s interrupting her independent blanket time.

•Speaking of, her main caregiver is N and very rarely Uzi if N isn’t around or if Uzi doesn’t want to leave N while he’s taking care of V. V doesn’t outwardly dislike Uzi while she’s little, she could even be a little scared of her but N assured her that she’s safe there.

•She’s absolutely terrified of the Solver when she’s little, which isn’t much of a problem since it’s not like it’s just going to show up but she gets nightmares sometimes which really, really upset her.

•It’s one of the reasons she refuses to sleep alone while later, she’ll normally curl up next to someone since she doesn’t want outright cuddle with her caregiver but once she falls asleep, she usually clings to their arm.

•Other than her weighted blanket, V doesn’t have much little gear, she doesn’t really like using pacis but she has a ton of different PJ’s she likes getting into, some with little stars on them, some with angel wings, they’re all really important to her! She can’t really sleep without them when she’s small.

•One thing she really, really loves is lullabies, it doesn’t matter who she gets them from, she’ll be out like a light the moment she hears a lullaby.

•When she’s not sleepy, she has a few toys that she plays with, namely her bubble blowers since she’s not allowed to play with knives when small, also a stress ball because she likes squishing it.

•V has a love hate relationship with nicknames, she loves feeling small but when people treat her like she’s small, she can get upset and embarrassed, feeling like they’re talking down to her.

•The only nickname she’ll tolerate is ‘baby’.

•In terms of her being a caregiver, she does a pretty good job! She’s not amazing with kids but is a lot better at getting down to their level then someone like Uzi.

•As stated, she lowers her guard just a bit with the littles, she knows they actually think like children so she’s safe with them but being vulnerable is still hard.

•V’s really good at guessing what a little needs, even if they can’t/don’t feel like talking. They’ll be times where N could try for hours trying to find out what a baby Uzi wants and V just walks in and figures it out in a couple seconds.

•Not that attentive of littles, she’ll keep an eye on them for sure and stop them from getting hurt but wouldn’t really mind them doing something dangerous, like standing on high places.

•N usually has to look out for things like that.

•Speaking of, she loves little N, taking care of him feels like she’s making up for him looking after her when she was in a coma back at the mansion.

•Plus, he’s a sweetie and V is actually capable of carrying him so they just work well together.

•She doesn’t keep things like toys on her but she does have a bag of batteries to give to the littles as treats.

•Has a kind of stern mom energy to her when actually enforcing a role, she is a very stubborn caretaker and will get the littles to listen to her.

•She can have fun though, it’s one of the few times she can let down her guard with the group.

Serial Designation J

•J is the first person on this list that I see as strictly a regressor, I can’t really see her looking after someone else

•Plus she deserves some time to relax, being the leader of the murder drones and dealing with Tessa is definitely a lot.

•J regresses from about 1-5, she needs some baby time where someone can take care of her.

•In the mansion, it was always Tessa looking after her so she stopped regressing after she was sent away on missions and couldn’t see her anymore, but did slip up a few times with V.

•She basically threatened her to not tell anyone about it, she was obviously mortified of being in a small state of mind in front of her.

•J was meant to be a leader after all and behaving like that wasn’t…leader-ish to her but that was just the first crack in the wall as she found she actually liked V as a caregiver and would slip around her more frequently, but it was still pretty rare.

•J also tried to look after a regressed V once to ‘make things even’ but failed hard and only managed to get V to go to sleep to keep her calm. It’s why she’s only a regressor.

•J considered letting N look after her but, no.

•How she acts when she’s small depends on why she regressed as it’s usually involuntary. Generally, she can be a bossy little who also demands attention, essentially a Princess regressor.

•One thing she loves while being little is sitting in between her caregiver’s legs and having her hair brushes, she finds it really relaxing.

•Surprisingly, J can be a bit physically clingy when she’s little. Normally when she’s smaller or sleepy , she’ll try and hug her body around her caregiver’s.

•She had a ton of little gear, namely sparkly outfits and PJ’a, some pink or yellow pacis, a few auditory toys (like pressing them and they make a sound) and also a white noise machine. Being able to relax is super important to her little routine and she will throw tantrums if something is bothering her.

•J doesn’t have total meltdowns though, she’ll throw one or two things or maybe flail her arms and legs about for a bit if she’s frustrated just to get it out of her system. Afterwards, she’ll still be a bit grumpy but as long as her caregiver can help her relax, she’ll be fine.

•One random thing that J loves while little is money, coins, notes, she loves holding it, playing with it, eating it occasionally. One of the toys she had a piggy bank.

•Tessa was the first person she regressed around and she became very clingy to her once she got to regress more afterwards.

•Tessa honestly loved little J, she could be demanding but she was also so much more happier and adorable; J being little was the first time Tessa heard her laugh. She was too smiley and giddy to not give her all the attention she wanted.

•And J, clearly being someone who wants the attention of people with authority, ie Tessa, soaked it all up.

•J can be really protective over the little gear she got from Tessa. Since she can’t regress with her anymore, it’s the next best thing. She ended up crying and regressing when she thought she lost one of her pacis but V helped her find it.

•J’s speech while little isn’t the best, when she’s feeling a little bigger, she can actually speak pretty well but for when she’s smaller, it’s mainly just babbling.

•She loves being praised for anything while she’s little, knowing she’s doing something good when she’s in a headspace that doesn’t feel productive is really nice for her.

———

And that’s all I’ve got for this post, starlights! I was originally gonna try and write some Tessa Headcanons but episode 7 put me through a roller coaster of emotions, so I wasn’t sure how to write for her! If I do, it’ll probably just be younger Tessa! Anyway, I hope you enjoyed these, lemme know if you want to see anymore!

[princesscatherinemiddleton]

Hi, I don’t know if you’re comfortable answering this but I was wondering what your perspective is as a British person about all the non British people making so many crazy (even delusional) accusations about the UK, monarchy, and the royal family when they clearly have no idea what they’re talking about. I see the ridiculous things they say and the assumptions they make (particularly on TikTok) and even as an American it makes me mad because it’s so obvious they’re speaking without bothering to do any research. I’m curious how British people in general are feeling about this because social media is not always a great representation of the entire population. I know British people have their own opinions about the monarchy but it’s different when people from other countries are speaking about it and spreading outright lies about the UK.

I can never answer anything normally so I have multiple strands to this answer:

I hate people talking about something like they know what they are talking about but they are blatantly wrong - I had to do an assembly at school on Guy Fawkes the week after we did our Bonfire Night podcast episode and the effort I put in to not correcting my partner teacher was indescribable

I think it is almost impossible to fully understand another culture, even if you've lived there a really long time, especially if you don't live there - living in the UK, I've been bombarded with US images, politics, TV, literature, sport, etc but I don't understand what it's like to be American. I would never explain to someone how the American legal system works or the American political system. I feel the same about Wales and Ireland as individual countries (rather than as part of the UK) and my parents are quite literally Welsh and Irish

The more completely out there stuff I can laugh off but the almost believable but not quite stuff gets to me more. Also, explicitly cruel things I struggle with - I'm thinking the person I saw on TikTok the other day who said that Kate is actually dead or the person on Tumblr who said that Meghan was abusing her children. I can't even think about it and I have to just block and log off

Part of the reason I love doing the podcast so much is because it is time to provide facts. We joke about doing research but we really do a lot of research and if we don't know something, we say that or just don't talk about it at all

As for the other part of your message, "I’m curious how British people in general are feeling about this because social media is not always a great representation of the entire population. I know British people have their own opinions about the monarchy but it’s different when people from other countries are speaking about it and spreading outright lies about the UK":

I've said this before but I cannot get across how much most people in Britain do not care about the royal family however people in Britain also don't like to be told something about them is weird or wrong - I'm thinking about things like how British people reacted when people said beans on toast was weird

Social media algorithms means lots of people in the UK haven't seen what people are saying about the BRF online (I am cultivating a lovely online experience where I very rarely come across the BRF by accident and I talk about them a lot!) and not everyone in the UK has social media either

I think the best thing to do is not engage with anything online that upsets you. That's not to say you should end up in a social media bubble - you should definitely expose yourself to thoughts, opinions and cultures you wouldn't normally come across - but if you are finding yourself getting upset or angry or frustrated with the same kind of content, just block, mute and move on.

#anon #answered #this is very confusing I'm sorry

[ndplatypus]

My issue with “Helluva Boss”

Yes the humor relies a lot on vulgarity, sex, drugs, and a lot of cussing. Not my cup of tea but it’s not my issue with the series. I genuinely use to love this show, but recent episodes and a rewatch have me very disillusioned with the series. I’m gonna talk about why here.

At first glance, especially in season 1, it’s pretty good. A lot of decent set ups and the chance at world building. The basic premise is interesting and the characters are fun. It genuinely has a good foundation and the potential to be GOOD. It’s why I’m so upset with it now.

To start off, the writing is weak. Nothing that is set up is ever paid off. The main premise we were set up, a small business started by a lower class character of sneaking off to earth from hell to commit assassination jobs. It’s a fun premise! Again a LOT of potential. It’s implied heavily in the show that imps are lower class, usually servants or country hick folk. And higher class and stronger demons look down on them. It’s said by another imp in the show it’s impress and rare for an imp to have his own business!!!

But it teeters off and looses focus of this by heavily focusing on shipping. (Not saying you can’t mix comedy, romance, and drama in one series, but the show doesn’t do this well) It falls off in a way the show star vs the forces of evil did when the show started focusing less on the more interesting concepts (the racism and classism between mewmins and monsters) and started heavily focus on shipping, switch Tom, Star, Kelly and Marco and others) HB does exactly this. Throwing away other concepts and stories they made the show more interesting just to focus on shipping Stolas and Blitzo.

Another issue I have is how the main couple is portrayed. A ship including a very privileged rich upper class prince character and a lower class character whose race is implied in the show to be seen as less than. Classism and racism is not a good dynamic to start with, but with good writing and some sensitivity can be done right.

But again, it isn’t written well. To make the ship look better it’s almost essentially get written between season 1 and 2 and shifts almost all the blame for the problems in the relationship onto the LOWER CLASS CHARACTER WHO FACES RACISM AND FETISHIZATION FROM HIS RICH PRINCE ROMANCE INTEREST.

This mixed with the very questionable sexual coercion and potential sa issues that are involved in their relationship- it’s very uncomfortable. Not saying a ship isn’t allowed to be toxic. I find toxic characters fascinating tbh, but there is a art to writing them-

As in you have to acknowledge your characters are toxic and have your audience see the characters acknowledge this and try to change and do the work to be better. If both Stolas and Blitzo were written to acknowledge both have sone faults in the relationship and both are hurting each other in different ways and tried to work on themselves it could still be good! HB does not do this. It sets up a couple that on both sides is very toxic but only treats one side as so. The one who in reality based on past writing the show no longer acknowledges, is the bigger victim in the relationship!!!

They completely recontextualize the characters by essentially retconning how they got together, starting season two they take what’s potentially a good pairing of toxic characters who can grow and heal together to just trying to victimize one and make the other the “bad” one. Yea both are toxic but to now make Blitzo the main problem in the relationship and Stolas as the victim of just loving someone who doesn’t treat him write- it’s not good writing. It’s honestly gross.

Stop setting up issues like classism, racism, fetishization, in your show, in your ship, if you don’t actually want to acknowledge it. Stop writing serious real life issues into your stories if you can’t properly handle them. You can’t just pretend now those issues aren’t there in season 2 after establishing these issues in season 1. You can’t retcon this shit between seasons. Have the balls to acknowledge how you write your characters to be shitty people and make them work to be better. Not just pretend they are better without any work being put in!!!

And I could go on how all the gay characters seem grossly fetishized and fit into basic stereotypical top/bottom roles. Soft uwu bottom who goes no wrong and strong and big bad top. Yes some gay men have preferences but being so focused on top and bottom dynamics is weird.

The writing of the female characters is gross as well (the creator will say HB is the boy show and HH will be the girl show but it’s an excuse for cheap writing) all the girl characters are props and get no character or growth of their own. They all exist to prop up the boys. To help further along their development and stories while getting none of their own. The female antagonist in the stories are essentially one dimensional with her personality of “bitch.” And only exist again to be against the boys. The girls in the show are constantly demeaned and talked down to by male characters and treated like “stupid bitches” and this is all okay and funny. But when a female character says something bad about the male characters they are wrong and antagonist and will get a rock dropped on them for laughs at the end of the episode, because the show itself treats the males with depth and forgiveness (because trauma) but the girls are lazy evil caricatures who must get beat down in the end because clearly they are wrong and bad, even though it’s funny when male characters do the exact same shit. Some serious misogyny here.

Also another writing issue is.. it feels a lot like trauma porn. Every main (male) character has to have some deep trauma all somehow about a dead/missing mom and abusive dad (all three main make leads have a variation of this same trauma)

Not every character needs a traumatic back story. Not every trauma has to be death and murder and abusive dads. If you have to have your characters be traumatized to make them interesting or explain away their shitty behavior this is just bad and lazy writing.

It doesn’t feel like she’s trying to tell a story here at this point. Season two ends up feeling like fetish and trauma porn and half baked single dimensional characters that exist solely to sexualize and traumatize.

I hate to be this angry and critical of an indie show but even without all the drama around Viv and the treatment her workers the show itself has simply become a toxic poorly written mess of tropes and stereotypes that are simply meant to sell a product not tell a real story.

I wanted to like this show, and I genuinely use to. But after this new season and a rewatch I simply can’t enjoy it anymore. Anything this series had going for it is now trashed. It’s a shame to see.

Again I use to genuinely love this show. My anger with it comes from seeing it fall so far from the potential it had. But maybe that’s on me.

#helluva boss #Blitzo #stolas #stolitz #helluva boss critique #helluva boss criticism #vivziepop #as someone who actually lived the dead mom abusive dad trope #I’m not an abusive ASS to those around me because I’m sad