#this just. makes me feel super gross and it upsets me that it's happened twice | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

waitimcomingtoo · 3 years

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In Case You Don’t Live Forever

~chapter five rewritten~

Pairing: Peter Parker x Venom!reader

Synopsis: you are Peters greatest love and Spider-Man’s greatest enemy

Series Masterlist

“Why are you in such a mood?” Ned asked his best friend as they walked to their college campus. Peter had been grumpy all morning and Ned was quick to notice. He usually showed up at Ned’s door exhausted but eager to share the adventures from the night before, but he seemed defeated today.

“I got my ass beat last night.” Peter grumbled as he shouldered his backpack.

“By who?” Ned wondered.

“I don’t even know.” Peter sighed. “I think it was some kind of alien.”

“What’d it look like?” Ned asked. It wasn’t uncommon for Ned to ask a million questions after being told something Spider-Man related. After all, he was the guy in the chair.

“Like nothing I’ve ever seen before.” Peter said swallowed and tried to push the previous night from his mind. He’d rather focus on this morning, and the moment he had shared with you. Peter felt such a strong connection to you, and he would’ve stayed on that rooftop all day if he could.

“Describe it to me.” Ned pleaded, tearing Peter from his thoughts.

“I don’t know. It was like eight feet tall, black, and bald. And it was super veiny.” Peter grimaced while Ned’s eyes widened.

“Oh my God. You fought Shaquille O’Neal?” Ned gasped.

“Keep your voice down. I did not fight Shaquille O’Neal.” Peter whispered harshly. Ned always seemed one step away from blowing Peters cover. Peter gave bashful smiles to the passing students who gave him weird looks upon hearing Ned’s words.

“Terry Crews?” Ned continued. Peter rolled his eyes at his best friend and starting walking to class.

“No. This is serious.” Peter said, his voice heavy with annoyance.

“I know it’s serious. You got beat up by The Rock.” Ned remarked. Peter fidgeted with the strings on his backpack, still bothered knowing he was beaten so easily by Venom.

“The Rock is Samoan, not black.” Peter corrected.

“I know. But I heard “bald” and I just automatically envisioned The Rock.” Ned defended.

“There’s another thing. It had this huge, gaping mouth with rows and rows of teeth. I keep thinking about it.” Peter shivered. “It came so close to me. And its tongue was super long. It was like a cracked out frog.”

“So a ninja turtle? You got beat up by a ninja turtle?” Ned gawked.

“It wasn’t a ninja turtle.” Peter snapped. “ It was black, remember?”

“So an emo ninja turtle.” Ned deadpanned.

“It kept saying “we”. “ Peter remembered.

“What do you mean?”

“There was only one of them, but they only referred to themself as “we” as if there were multiple of them.” Peter explained.

“Do you think there could be more? Like an alien army or something?” Ned asked incredulously. Peter hadn’t even thought about that.

“Maybe. I remember something else, it’s name was Venom.” Peter recalled. He distinctly remembered those words coming out of the creatures mouth.

“Venom?” Ned repeated, clearly finding it cool.

“Yeah. And I told it my name. I used my regular voice too.” Peter realized. He usually disguised his voice when speaking, but he had been so scared that he forgot to. It haunted him knowing the creature now knew who he was and he wondered if it knew both of his identities.

“Wow. This is so cool. Not cool for you, because you might die. But this is super cool for me.” Ned smiled as he envisioned what Venom might look like.

“Thanks, ned. Actually, wait.” Peter stopped in his tracks. “One more thing happened.”

“What?” Ned whispered as they approached their class.

“Venom was about to eat me but then it started talking to itself. It sounded maybe like it was having a conversation with someone? I’m not sure, I could only hear one side of it.” Peter explained. “It put me down, well it threw me down, and let me go. But before it left, it said something about a girl. I don’t really remember. I was too focused on catching my breath.”

“Catching your breath? Were you running?”

“No. It choked me.” Peter told him as he lightly touched his neck.

“Kinky.” Ned smirked as he took a seat next to Peter in their class.

“That’s gross.” Peter stifled a laugh. “Did I tell you about this morning with Y/N?”

“No. Tell me.” Ned said. He wasn’t disappointed in the change of topic. He was glad Peter had moved on on from Liz, finally. Peter recounted the discussion he had with you that morning, barely getting through it without blushing and laughing at certain parts.

“I really like her, Ned. More than I’ve ever liked anyone. She’s so amazing. I barely know her, but I can tell already. I want to know everything about her. I want to hear her full story. And most of all, I want to be a part of that story.” Peter declared but frowned suddenly.

“What’s wrong?” Ned asked.

“After our talk, we just kinda sat there staring at each other for a while.” Peter began. “She kinda leaned in, and I did too, but then this seagull flew by and scared us half to death. We laughed about it but the moment was gone.”

“So you almost kissed her?” Ned smiled. “Why is that upsetting you?”

“Because what if that was our chance and I blew it?” Peter feared. “What if that seagull was a sign from above that I was in way over my head? Like God was asking me who I was to think I could just kiss the most perfect girl in the world? She’s so cool, Ned. Way too cool for me. She’s already had a boyfriend and I’ve never even kissed anyone.”

“If it’s meant to happen, it will happen.” Ned assured him.

“Or, the same thing that happened with Liz will happen.” Peter argued. “I won’t tell her how I feel and then she’ll be gone forever.”

“Then don’t let that happen.” Ned reasoned. “Tell Y/N how you feel. Do it tonight, before you go on patrol. And if she doesn’t feel the same, then at least you’ll know. Isn’t it better to know?”

“When did you become such a love expert?” Peter teased as the professor walked into the room.

“Since I started dating Betty. She’s opened my eyes to what love really is.” Ned shrugged. “Tell her tonight. Then tell me how it goes. I’m here for you either way.”

Peter nodded and gave Ned a thankful smile before turning his attention to the professor.

On his walk home from campus, Peter spotted you walking down the sideways. Ned’s words of encouragement rang in his ears and he made a brash decision.

“Hey, Y/N, wait up!” Peter called after you, making you turn around.

“Hey Parker. How was kindergarten?” You teased him.

“Alright alright. Majoring in chemical engineering is hardly kindergarten. And I’m only one year younger than you.” Peter reminded you. “I don’t want you to have a heart attack on me, grandma.”

“Watch it, sonny.” You kept with the joke. “I’ll hit you with my purse and then say something mildly racist.”

“Just like my grandma.” Peter laughed in amusement. “We’re gross. And not funny.”

“We really are.” You scrunched your nose. “Couple of gross ass orphans.”

Peter laughed again, feeling comfortable enough with you to joke about a tragic situation.

“Look, Y/N, I really enjoyed our talk this morning. I really enjoyed all our talks so far actually. I guess I just like talking to you. ” Peter began. He looked nervous all the sudden, like he lost his stamina. You raised your eyebrows hopefully, as there were only so many ways this conversation could go.

“I like talking to you too, Peter.” You said honestly, hoping he’d continue. Hoping he’d ask that question. Your answer seemed to give Peter the confidence he needed to go on.

“Really? Um, that’s great cause I really like talking to you too. I already said that. Oh god. I’m crashing. I-“ he began to flail and you calmed him down by taking a few steps closer. You were almost touching at that point. He stopped talking immediately and looked at you with wide eyes.

“Is there someone you wanted to ask me, Peter?” You asked slowly as you looked at him through your eyelashes.

Damn. He was tall too.

“Yes, actually. I, um, will you…would you maybe want to-“

“Hiya kids!” A gravely voice came from the front stairs of your apartment, completely cutting Peter off. Peter looked up and angrily rolled his eyes.

“Don’t look now. It’s Henry.” Peter grumbled. Henry was the creepy neighbor with the foot fetish.

“Oh Dear God.” Peter said in a low voice.

“What?” You panicked when you saw Peters expression change.

“You’re wearing flip flops.” He pointed at your black painted toes and you felt the color drain from your face.

“Run!” He whispered harshly. You bolted into your apartment and Peter ran into his. Once inside, Peter blew out an angry breath. He had been interrupted twice in one day when trying to talk to you, and he worried that it was a sign.

Back at the apartment, you sat on your bed with headphones in. You were prepping for your interview with Cletus Kasady by writing down some questions you wanted to ask him. It was hard figuring out what to ask a serial killer. You looked at your notepad and sighed. All you had written down was “but why tho?” in sloppy handwriting. You tore out the page, crumbled it up, and threw it at the trash can. When you went to write something else down, you noticed the paper ball still stuck to your hand. You shook your hand but it still wouldn’t come off.

“What the hell?” You grumbled as you shook your hand.

“Oh. This might be our fault.” Venom said suddenly.

“What might be your fault?” You asked as you continued to shake the paper off your hand, but to no avail.

“We sort of went inside Spider-Man when we were talking to him yesterday.” Venom said timidly and the paper ball dropped from your hand.

“What?” You demanded and Venom went silent.

“Come out here.” You said, like an owner to a dog.

“We’d rather stay inside.” Venom said softly.

“Get out here now. You need to explain yourself young lady.” You said sternly. Venom slowly manifested and looked at you with sad eyes.

“I’m 600 million years old, by the way.” Venom added. “You can’t call me young lady.”

“What do you mean you went inside Spider-Man?” You ignored her comment.

“When we were choking him we put one of our tendrils inside him and swirled around.” Venom explained. “He didn’t even feel it. We did though. He’s very squishy on the inside.”

“You…what?” You didn’t even know where to start. “How does that explain the paper sticking to me?”

“We think we absorbed his powers.” Venom said. “We used to watch videos of him on YouTube after you went to bed. He can stick to walls and stuff. We think that’s why the paper ball stuck to you.”

“Since when can we absorb powers?” You wondered as you looked at your hands.

“We never had a host before. We don’t really know how it works.” Venom reminded you. “But back on Klyntar, our home planet, the Grandmaster used to tell us we could absorb the powers of superhuman beings. Judging by your newfound stickiness, we think it worked.”

“What else can Spider-Man do?” You asked. “Since you’re such a big fan.”

“He can shoot webs out of his wrists. And he can return lost dogs.” Venom answered, sounding a little annoyed.

“Do you have something against Spider-Man?” You chuckled a little at her tone.

“We hate what he did last night. He thought we were the bad guy, and he let the real bad guy get away. He judged us before he had the full story. We’re not a bad guy.” Venom defended. You were surprised to hear how passionate she was about this and gave her a soft smile.

“Let’s not worry about Spider-Man right now. I want to test out our new abilities. Let’s rock and roll, baby.” You cheered, complete with rock and roll hands. The second you touched your middle finger and ring finger to your palm, a black, web-like tendril shot out from your wrist and stuck to the ceiling. You stared at the web with a gaping mouth, weakly shaking your wrist to see if it would stay attached.

It did.

“Maybe that’s one of our new abilities.” Venom said. You looked back and forth between her and the gooey web coming out of your wrist.

“Oh my God! What’s happening?” You screamed. You took your fingers off your palm and the web retracted back into your wrist. Looking at your wrist incredulously, you made the rock and roll hand again and the same web shot out from your wrist. This time, it grabbed the ceiling fan.

“V-Venom?” You asked. You didn’t know what to say.

“Try to aim it at something.” She suggested. You aimed your wrist and the lamp across the room and touched your fingers to your palm. The black web shot across the room and grabbed onto the lamp. You quickly yanked your arm back to pull the lamp towards yourself. The lamp flew across the room, smashed you in the face, and left you with a bloody nose.

“Ow.” You cried, gingerly touching your nose.

“We see this as a absolutely win.” Venom cheered. You shot her a look and went to get cleaned up.

After about a week of practice, and very little work on your questions for Cletus, you had a better handle on your webbing ability. Of course, the week also consisted of long talks with Peter on the roof, late patrols of New York, the occasional run in with a criminal, late night FaceTime calls with Peter, and beating the shit out of Spider-Man, twice. Venom eventually grew bored of using the new powers around the house, so it was time for the final test.

You stood at the rooftop ledge and looked down, talking a deep breath to calm your nerves.

“It’s a long way down.” You commented.

“Yep.” Venom replied in your head.

“We could die.” You added.

“Yep.”

“Ready?”

“We’re ready.” Venom grinned as you transformed. You stepped off the ledge and fell freely for a while, screaming the whole way down.

“Stop being a little bitch! Shoot a web!” Venom yelled. You aimed a web at a building and began to swing. You were too close to the ground and ended up knocking over a bunch of tables at an outdoor restaurant. People ran away in fear while others took out their cameras and recorded.

“We’re not here to hurt you! Peace and love!” Venom shouted as you continued to swing through the steers of New York. People began to cheer upon hearing your words.

“Do you hear that, Y/N? People are cheering. They love us.” Venom said happily.

“I love us too.” You replied. You were even happier than she was. You knew how much it hurt Venom to be seen as a monster, it was why she hated being called a parasite. You also knew it was why she hated Spider-Man. He was praised for stopping bad guys while Venom was seen as one of the bad guys he needed to stop.

“Hey, what is that thing?” A man called from the street. Venom stopped swinging and landed on the street. You proudly turned to the crowd of people, a massive grin on your face. There it was, our favorite question.

“We…are Venom.” Venom growled. People took pictures and videos of you from a distance.

“You can come closer. We won’t hurt you.” Venom assured the crowd.

“Are you like the anti Spider-Man?” Someone asked.

“Spider-Man is a joke. He can’t protect this city like we can. We are no Spider-Man. We are Venom.” Venom roared. A few people took a step back and you began to feel uneasy.

“Hey, King Kong. I want a word with you.” A sassy voice quipped from the crowd. A man in yellow sunglasses and a suit stepped forward, and you bet your ass you recognized him.

“My name is Tony Stark. Heard of me? Of course you have. Would you mind coming back to my tower with me?” He asked, but it felt more like a demand. The people in the crowd slowly dispersed and soon, you stood there alone with Tony.

“Be nice. Say yes.” You told Venom.

“Who is this guy?” She asked out loud.

“I just said my name.” Tony said, slightly annoyed.

“He’s a really famous inventor. I’ll explain later. Just follow him please.” You begged. Venom gave Tony a once over and followed him to a limo.

“Yea, you’re gonna ride up top big guy.” Tony said, patting the roof of the car.

“Girl.” Venom growled. Tony looked surprised.

“My apologies ma’am.” He raised surprised eyebrows. You rode on top of his car all the way to his tower, wondering what he could possibly want with you.

The inside of his tower was huge. Tony lead you to a lab that was bigger than yours and Peters apartments combined.

“I’ve seen videos of you on YouTube. Seems like you and Spider-Man aren’t the best of friends.” Tony remarked as he pulled out an iPad.

“We will crush his bones and snort them like cocaine.” Venom growled. Tony was just as surprised to hear that as you were.

“Now that’s a visual.” Tony smirked. “I’ll have you know, Spider-Man is a friend of mine. He’s not your biggest fan either but from what I’ve seen, you’ve done this city some good since you’ve been here. How long has that been?”

“Two weeks.” Venom answered.

“I thought so. I’d never seen you before then. And since your arrival, petty crime has dropped significantly in Queens. Criminals are too scared of getting eaten to do anything. Don’t get me wrong, I love Spider-Man and I’ll kill you if you tell him that, but no one fears him. He gets the job done, but there’s always another job to do. With you, on the other hand, your mere presence is preventing crime before it even happens.” Tony smiled to himself, like he was just given a new toy. “You’re scary, is what I’m trying to say. But you’re a good guy. It’s rare. I want it to stay that way. I want you on my team.”

“Team?”

“We’re called the Avengers. We had a bit of a falling out but the name still stands.” Tony waved his hand. “We fight bad guys together. Really, really bad guys. I think you could us some good. Plus, you’ll be taken care of for life and we’ll only call you in for serious threats. But I need a few things from you first.”

“Like what?”

“Your story.” He pointed a finger at you. “How does a giant, anthropomorphic alien wind up in New York City?”

“It’s a long story.” Venom answered.

“We can trust this man, Venom.” You told her telepathically. “I’m gonna come out okay?” Venom hesitated and Tony looked impatient to know more.

“Are you sure?” She asked you. Tony looked confused.

“Am I sure?” He pointed to himself.

“Not you.” She said. Tony looked around for who else Venom could be talking to and found no one.

“I’m sure.” You decided. “This guy is one of the good guys. We can trust him. I promise. I’m coming out.”

You slowly transformed back into yourself in front of Tonys wide eyes. Venom stayed in her snake-like form and rested on your neck.

“Hello, Mr. Stark. My name is Y/N L/N.” You shyly introduced yourself. “This is Venom. We want to help.”

Tony’s face shifted from shocked to impressed as he looked you over.

“I gotta say, I did not except someone like you to be inside that scary monster.” Tony chuckled.

“We’re not a monster, Mr. Stark. We want to help people.” You reminded him.

“I can see that.” Tony nodded. “That’s why I’ve been developing you a suit.”

“When did you do that?” You wondered. “We just met.”

“Oh, I know. I’ve been designing it while you talked. I want you to have it incase you and Venom get separated. That way, you’ll be protected until you’re back together.” Tony explained as he showed you his ipad. Sure enough, it had a drawing of a suit on it.

“I’ll get started right away. I just need a little piece of Venom. If I make the suit using her skin, you’ll have the total protection you need.” You looked at Venom for consent, who nodded and extended a tendril towards Tony. He quickly snipped a piece off and put it in a container.

“When will the suit be ready? A few months?” You asked as Tony tapped the container. Tony stopped looking at the container and laughed.

“Y/N, I’m a genius inventor. Go get lunch. It’ll be ready when you’re done.” He said.

And he wasn’t kidding. An hour and a half later, Tony presented you with a suit. You ran my fingers over it slowly, not wanted to disturb a single thing. You looked at it in awe, completely speechless at what he had created.

“Go on, try it on.” He shrugged casually. You grinned from ear to ear before rushing to the bathroom to put it on. You came out soon enough with tears in you eyes.

“You like it?” Tony asked. You looked at your covered hands in amazement. The suit was jet black, like Venom was, and hugged your body like a second skin. There was a big white spider symbol on the front, the complete opposite of Spider-Mans small black one. You figured it was a nod to being called the anti Spider-Man and it was perfect.

“Well?” Tony was still waiting for an answer. You looked up at him just as a few tears fell down you cheeks.

“We didn’t celebrate my birthday growing up because it was the anniversary of my moms death. I used to be so upset every year.” You blurted. Tony looked like he didn’t know what to say and you couldn’t blame him. That was something deeply personal and you had only just met him.

“What I’m trying to say is, I get it now.” You explained. “All those missed birthdays were for a reason. I didn’t get gifts those days because I’m getting the ultimate gift right now. This is the most amazing thing I could’ve asked for. I cannot thank you enough Mr. Stark. I’ll never take it off.”

“You can’t take it off anyway.” Tony told you. “When you don’t want to wear it, it absorbs back into your skin like Venom does. And it’s equipped with Venoms essential abilities. It’s bullet proof, knife proof, taser proof, spork proof and so on. And you can still shoot your webby things. You just won’t have super strength, super speed, or that Venus flytrap mouth of yours.”

You tested it out and shot a web towards his desk. You grabbed a pen and caught it with ease, then looked at Tony for approval.

“That’s the best I could do. It’s no Iron Man suit but it’ll suffice.” Tony said casually. You couldn’t take it anymore and rushed towards him to hug him tightly.

“Thank you.” You said into his chest. Tony patted your back awkwardly and you let go.

“It’s nothing. You can thank me by not eating Spider-Man. I know he’s annoying but he doesn’t mean any harm. Now go forth and do good.” Tony requested.

You swung back to the apartment and landed on the roof. You turned back into yourself and made your way down the steps to your floor. After this mornings conversation with Peter and the incredible suit from Mr. Stark, you were having a great day. For the first time in years, you couldn’t wait for tomorrow.

#peter parker x reader #peter parker x y/n #peter parker x you #peter parker fanfiction #peter parker imagine #peter parker x venom!reader #venom!reader #tom holland x reader #tom holland x you #iron man #tom holland fluff #tom holland fanfiction

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soldmysoultootomeboys · 4 years

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Obey Me Brothers Wedding HCS

Just some wedding headcanons for the boys bcuz i’m soft for them, Gn MC

Thinks about marrying Asmo => 😡💕💕

Lucifer

I can not stress how much this man would be a bridezilla

He’s probably the MOST high maintenance demon when it comes to this, even over Asmo

He gets so stressed over it too and when he's stressed he gets extremely snippy

It takes you knocking a little sense into him to get him back on track

He just wants your day to be perfect and with his brothers causing trouble it's hard to really focus on choosing a tablecloth

He won’t be any nicer to his brothers but he will try to avoid causing fights at this time simply because it's really important to him that ALL of his family is there.

The night after proposing you find a beautiful envelope on white paper with gold trim in your room you realize it's a congratulation note from the celestial realm, presumably from the big man upstairs, it's still a heartstopping realization when you realize who your father in law technically is

Are you committing a sin marrying a fallen angel? Do you care?

It’s easier to ignore it than do anything else, although you do appreciate them registering for the coffee maker you had on your registry. You needed that. Mammon broke the last one.

Kindly begs asks you NOT to do anything crazy in the week leading up to it

Please MC his heart he's about to explode from stress please don't add to it, just for one week

Diavolo plans his bachelor party at the Fall with Barbatos. Invites you along and you have to explain how bachelor parties work

If it’s up to him the wedding will be all black with red accents eDgY mUcH?

At the altar he kisses you twice, first to show everyone that your his, the second time is just for you two, he hides you away from sight curling his black wings around you and holding you as close as he can bear

In the end it's a very happy celebration filled with good food, family, and friends

When you cut the cake feel free to smash a little bit in his face, this is your only chance, he'll be in too much of a good mood to retaliate...much

Mammon

Luxury luxury luxury

He wants solid gold altars, diamond encrusted bouquets, jewels imported from every corner of the world

He has so many plans (as well as a ridiculously long wedding registry)

But the moment you say you want anything he abandons them

Whatever you want he wants, but if you wanted some diamonds too that would be great

He absolutely would be down for a wedding bouncy castle

He gets you the biggest diamond ring ever that he buys with his own money from a lot of shifts at Hell's kitchen and modelling gigs

He totally believes in the tradition of not seeing you until your wedding day but he also forgets so he walks in and as soon as he realizes you're getting ready he shuts his eyes and tries to run out. He'll only talk to you from behind the door.

When he sees you walking down the aisle he falls in love all over again. And he feels like that a hundred different moments. It doesn't matter what you're doing, playing with your veil, wiping cake off the corner of your mouth, yawning, he loves you and loves that you’re his.

He could get married to you in a ditch and still be the happiest man in the world.

He's an absolute goofball and is smiling the entire time

The couple that during their wedding night end up jumping on the bed and having pillow fights while play wrestling

Levi

You really want to marry a gross otaku like him??? Why??

Not that he's complaining! He just doesn't get it. His brothers are so cool and Asmo is so much prettier than him and he doesn't have anything to offer.

It takes a lot of reassuring to convince that this is what you want to do

You two have this same conversation about a million times before the wedding. He just doesn't get why you actually like him. Once it finally sets in that this really is happening and it's not just some big joke he gets really into it and definitely puffs up around his brothers to show off

His first thought is a cosplay wedding and he'll beg for it to be Ruri-chan themed

Good luck getting Lucifer or any of his brothers to agree to dressing up, as funny as it may be

If you shoot that down it's pretty easy to convince him to do something else since mostly he's just excited to be with you

He still has a little Ruri pin on his suit collar and cufflinks

When you walk down the aisle he feels like he’s going to faint from nerves and when it’s time for vows he pulls out a huge list of all the reasons he loves you and why your his Henry, although about half of it compares things you’ve done to things in TSL

He only makes it through a quarter of the way before he gets embarrassed

When he lifts your veil he panics because your so pretty and he can’t handle it

You have to initiate the kiss and when you do he turns as red as a tomato

He tries to play it off but keep a strong arm around his waist unless he really does decide to pass out

He cools down once you guys are at the reception and gets especially excited the little custom made toppers of you two in cartoon form

Satan

He's a bridezilla but in the lightest sense of the word

He won't get upset over mix ups or even really wedding stuff like Asmo or Lucifer but his temper will be extremely fine during this time, especially when it comes to his brothers.

Throws an entire table through the window when Lucifer asks him if he knew where Mammon was

It’s a lot of stress to create the perfect wedding and he buries his nose in different books that can help him

He’s a bit of a perfectionist

The most classic and elegant wedding ever and he’d want to be involved in every step of the way

Very interested in your opinion and if it compares to human weddings

He flushes with pride whenever you compliment something he picked out

Includes casual literary references in his wedding but only so people who really know will realize

Wears a navy suit

Asmo

Also a bridezilla and a petty one at that

There will be drama, there will be tears, there will be a part where he cries off his mascara because Andrealphus of the damned brought the white bouquets and he wanted the PINK ones. This is HIS day why is she trying to ruin it.

It’s a lot of work trying to keep the damage to a minimal

Part of the reason he gets so upset is because this is your day too and he wants it to be perfect.

Prepare for a million dress rehearsals.

He wants to help pick out your outfit and makeup! But he also doesn't want to break human tradition...But he wants to help pick out your outfit and makeup so bad!!

If he manages to restrain himself he picks out the makeup artist and the stylizer because he knows what makeup you like and what looks best on your skin.

Most likely tho he'll want to see anyways and bugs you to let him in

You compromise by going shopping with him as he tries on a million dresses and suits

MC the suit on the right or the one on the left?

They both look exactly the same.

"...Left love." "That's exactly what I was thinking. I knew I could trust you to pick out the right answer!"

Even though he's very good at fashion your opinion matters a lot to him. Sure he could make himself look perfect but he wants to look perfect for YOU. He wants to be your version of perfect and if that means he picks the high cut dress instead of the low cut which flatters his waist better then he'll do it. For you.

He's the type to want to have all the spotlight on him so if you're walking down the aisle he's going to do it too! He does it first. HE says for the attention. In reality he wants to be able to see you the moment you step out the doors and down that hall.

Looks super perfect as he waits for you at the aisle but the moment you get married he starts ugly crying. He throws his veil back on so no one can see it but you just lift it up and kiss away his tears.

Even though it's a lot of work it's worth it to be with the demon you love...but if you shove cake in his face he'll seriously kill you, MC do you know how long this took?!!!!! :'(

Beel

He’s more than happy to do whatever you want

Whatever vision you have he's willing to make happen

He does his best but feels a little useless since keeps having to break for snacks

Wonders why you’d want to be with him when all he ever does it eat but he tries not to bring it up in case it would upset you

He honestly does have a lot of fun planning with you and his favorite part was when you got to taste test different cakes because he got to impress you by explaining all the little differences between each one

He ends up being in charge of everything food related and it helps him feel a bit better

Barbatos ends up cooking the dishes

During the rehearsal he falls in love with you all over again and doesn’t want to let you go the entire time

He gets especially nervous during the month of the wedding

He starts stress eating, going through even more food than normal, but then he gets worried about fitting into his suit and starts working out even more than normal, which makes him hungry again. It’s a terrible cycle

Belphie manages to break him out of it by reminding Beel that you love him more than anyone else

Even though its his wedding he starts setting up just to get out some of his nervous tension until the others shoo him back inside

A huge 20 layer cake each tier a different flavor

He has his own personal cake that's even bigger than the other cake but he’s more than willing to share with you

You two do the cute bit where you smash cake in each others faces

Beel still eats it tho

As much as he loves his family he's so happy to be able to steal you away at the end

Belphie

Planning a wedding is sooo much work

He lets you choose whatever you want as long as you let him sleep

if it was up to him he'd want a small informal celebration with his family but if you want something bigger than he guesses it's fine. As long as he doesn't have to talk to anyone like Diavolo

He uninvites Lucifer like three times, each time using extremely formal paper with beautiful cursive that must have taken hours. When Lucifer confronts him Belphie just says that it’s too late because he already gave away his seat.

He only brings him back when you make him

He sleeps more than usual in the weeks leading up to the wedding. You think it’s because of the stress but in actuality he’s trying to save up his sleep so he’s more awake for the ceremony

As much as he may act like he doesn’t care, he really does want to marry you and it makes him happy to think that you’re going to be all his

Beel is obviously his best man and while Belphie waits for you to come down the aisle he leans against him to take a small nap. Or that's what he had planned. The moment the music starts he perks up and finds himself unable to even close his eyes, too fixated on the doors about to open.

Feeds you the first bite of cake and then just...doesn't stop

He’s so in love with you all he can do is stare

Gives his slice of cake to Beel he'd much rather pay attention to you than eat

However he does smash a little in your face but it’s out of love <3

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momota-kaiharem · 3 years

Text

maybe this is just my kinnie speaking but i think a lot about the way that shuichi and maki interact with kaito. let me take an interaction from the talent development plan as an example.

just rewatching this interaction made me pretty mad again FLKJDSLKFJ i love training trio and i freaking love their relationship, but god, the way that maki and shuichi treat kaito here just drives me absolutely crazy, so let’s break it down.

i think maki is the more egregious offender here (because shuichi is a simp with manners) but throughout the interaction she’s very dismissive towards kaito, asking why he brought them out there (when shuichi says it’s something they do a lot) and then saying he was useless when he went with them to the novoselic, and saying he didn’t need to go along at all. but up until here shuichi does defend kaito a bit, even if it’s in a bit of a patronisng way (remarking that kaito “does this a lot” but “isn’t it fun” and remarking that kaito’s use on the novoselic mission was to invite maki).

and then kaito says that when he goes to space, he wants to see if he can see shuichi and maki from up there, which is a really sweet sentiment, albeit unrealistic. maki shuts him down pretty fast saying he couldn’t see them from that far, and shuichi says that he might be able to see the general region, and then kaito says that he’d like to take them up to space, and THIS is the thing that really frustrates me.

kaito loves shuichi and maki. romantically, platonically, however you’d like to describe it, it’s obvious that he cares about them a LOT. i mean, he tries to convince kaede to become an astronaut too in his ftes with her, but you could argue that kaito was trying to convince her to go to space because he really respects her (as indicated by the way kaito was the only one to consistently stand up for kaede through chapter one, and the way he was willing to fight the exisals to keep monokuma from executing her, and the way he was crying after she got executed... also he asks her for hugs a lot and it’s really cute kaito you simp ilu) so again, it shows, kaito says he wants to take people to space because he loves them. space is what kaito has always been most passionate about. it’s his longest standing goal and something he wants to share with the most important people in his life.

obviously he’s being unrealistic here!! but maki and shuichi have been friends with kaito for three years by now, and they should be used to it-- they are used to it, actually, as shown by maki’s response-- but maki’s response is mean!!! it’s mean. kaito shared a sweet sentiment about wanting to share his most treasured thing with them and maki responded by calling him stupid-- which, if you remember, kaito really doesn’t like being called!!! i’d go grab screenshots, but i don’t want to go sit and watch trials until i can find it, but often when kaito is called an idiot he responds by yelling that he’s not, and that he doesn’t like being called that. i know with maki a lot of it is just banter, but still, the utter disregard for kaito’s feelings just because he’s a hahaha positive himbo man hee hee hoo hoo is... ugh. it happens a LOT throughout the game and it’s really upsetting to me.

and then shuichi’s response is what really upsets me. i know it’s just meant as a tease, but let’s think about everything that kaito has done for shuichi and maki for a moment, here. sure, his practical abilities might not be on par with theirs. he’s not a detective and he’s not an assassin, so he can’t solve murders or fight off danger, but his EQ is INCREDIBLY high. he saw maki and shuichi, and he saw that they were struggling, and he decided to take them under his wing and help them to grow. he didn’t have to do that!!! he didn’t owe them anything. maki and shuichi could’ve grown at their own paces, of course, i believe in them, but a large part of their becoming more comfortable with who they are was owed to kaito’s help and love and guidance that he showed them over the years.

so the implication that kaito, an ASTRONAUT, would need them to go to space to save him, is utterly ridiculous. and mean!! it’s really mean. it implies that kaito is useless without them, that he needs them to go up there to save him (like they’re always saving him or whatever, which i find really stupid because there are absolutely no tdp events where they help him even SLIGHTLY) when he’s literally been training to be an astronaut and go to space for the last three years!!! it’s his special interest, and it’s so invalidating, to take kaito wanting to share that with them and imply that he’s useless at it, and that he needs assistance that they’ve never offered him because of it.

and maki’s response is really gross to me too, like kaito doesn’t have any other friends, which is totally stupid. i’m sure kaede would jump to his aid if he needed her, and gonta, and any other members of their class-- i mean, kaito is a nice guy!!! he helps people!!! it was easy to rally everyone in chapter five to save kaito because he was inspiring them!!! kokichi took him because if he didn’t, kaito would be there making everyone want to keep going. maki saying that implies that kaito is so annoying that they’re the only ones who would put up with him, that they’re these two skilled people who are just there because they pity him-- which isn’t true at all, i mean they’re totally talented but ALSO i know for a FACT that maki and shuichi really appreciate kaito, so why don’t they just act like it??

actually, i have thoughts on the reason why they behave that way. it’s something that happens a lot when you get comfortable with people. kaito projects confidence, this really strong, self-satisfied demeanour. it’s clear (or at least it seems to be clear) that he has a lot of self respect. so the teasing, to maki and shuichi, feels harmless, because kaito has high self esteem, he can take it. besides, he clearly has an inflated ego, right? so he needs them to take him down a peg.

except that’s not true, and you can tell that kaito has low self esteem because of what happens in chapter four. all throughout that chapter people rag on kaito, calling him an idiot, saying he’s useless during trials, saying shuichi is the only smart one. kokichi calls him an idiot and antagonises him over and over and over and shuichi NEVER sticks up for him, never once sticks his neck out and says “hey, i really appreciate kaito, and i need you to stop talking bad about him”. instead he just lets kaito fend everyone off alone, and of course maki doesn’t stick up for him either. that’s part of what fuels kaito’s turn on shuichi in chapter five. sure, you could argue that it was about gonta-- but shuichi also turned the tables on kaede, who kaito showed more consistent affection/respect towards, and he didn’t hate shuichi for that. no, the problem was that shuichi was getting all the credit and appreciation from everybody (which was fine!!! he led the trials) and kaito was getting dumped on over and over and over and shuichi was just letting it happen, soaking in all the admiration and letting kaito be called useless.

and i mean, that’d be hard for anyone, being called stupid over and over, getting forcefully logged out of the simulation twice, once by your own sidekick who didn’t even bother asking you permission first, but it’s clear to me that kaito feels inadequate, especially as compared to shuichi, who is so intelligent and composed. kaito projects outwards, he puts on this big grin and calls himself a hero, and that must stem from a place of insecurity. there’s no way that someone who gave himself a dorky title like luminary of the stars is super secure in himself and his relationships.

there’s another reason why maki and shuichi probably treat kaito that way, and that’s because when you respect and appreciate someone that much, and you struggle expressing it, struggle with vulnerability, it becomes... hard to express. maki hasn’t been close to someone like she’s close to kaito for as long as she remembers. she’s never had a freaking nickname before, i mean, her life is really sad. clearly some of the teasing comes from a place of love, of “i respect and admire you so much, you helped me come out of my shell, idk what i would’ve done without you” and not knowing how to express it. i’ve been there. we’ve all been there. when you love a person but don’t know how to say it, sometimes you just end up playfully ragging on them.

and that’s fine, if it’s two-sided. banter has to be mutual, it has to be something that everyone is enjoying and is comfortable with. you choose things that they’re not sensitive about, that they’re fine with you taking the piss out of them over-- that they take the piss out of themself over. but let’s think about kaito for a minute here, and whether this is really banter.

1. does kaito ever jokingly call himself an idiot? does he ever say he’s useless, or he needs people to save him, or he’s dumb? how does he react when other people do it to him? even when maki calls him a dumbass ingame he gets upset about it, but then he brushes it off, because genuinely being hurt over something like that requires vulnerability and kaito doesn’t really DO vulnerability lmao

2. how does kaito respond? does he tease them back? i think if this was a case of healthy banter, kaito would’ve gone with a jab of his own, like, “haha, you two are hilarious, you know you love me” sorta thing, and then moved on to talk about the moon like he does in his next line. he doesn’t, though, and you never really see kaito making fun of those two. he calls maki a coward in chapter three, but he’s just being honest with her, being blunt about her weaknesses to help her grow. kaito doesn’t sugar coat things, doesn’t hold your hand and walk you through your problems. he’s a tough love sort of guy and that doesn’t work for everyone but it does really work for shuichi and maki, to the point where both of them become pretty confident in themselves, owed at least in part to the way that kaito guided them through becoming the people they wanted to be. but he doesn’t really tease them, never calls shuichi out on wearing his hat (he doesn’t even notice it) and never makes fun of maki for being an assassin/having a kill count/whatever stuff they’re insecure about. of course he doesn’t! kaito is a good friend.

i think it’s important to mention here that kaito does respond with lighthearted indignation before he brushes it off, but i just don’t feel like this is healthy, two-sided banter. you see maki and shuichi acting dismissive of kaito a lot, despite everything that he does for them. he puts up with it, but if anything that just shows to me more how everything in the relationship flows one way. all the care, love, and respect goes from kaito to shuichi and maki. he takes care of them, he helps them, he doesn’t mock them. in return they tease him (even if their intentions are good!!!) and don’t ever really push him to open up, nor do they stand up for him when people put him down, nor do they particularly try and get him to be honest with his emotions. take chapter four, for example, after kokichi punches kaito and he doubles over, coughing up blood. maki and shuichi just buy that it’s a cold when kaito says that, they don’t push, even though they’re both clearly skeptical. respecting boundaries is important, but you NEED to push sometimes, you need to make people open up, because in that case kaito was literally dying, and he had to spend the rest of his life putting up a front.

i mean, even when he was dying he was holding back the urge to cough, acting brave and strong, putting on a hero face so that the two of them could go on to defeat the mastermind and focus on things that mattered. not on him.

i love training trio, i think these three work so well together and they can bring out each other’s strengths and weaknesses, but i just think that shuichi and maki do NOT treat kaito well, and unless he opens up and communicates about it, it’s going to lead to building resentments and an increased lowering of kaito’s self esteem. maybe this wasn’t intentional on the part of the game, but if it wasn’t, clearly it just shows that dr is incapable of writing healthy friendships. i’d love to write a character study someday about these guys, where kaito talks about his feelings and maki and shuichi realise they treat him like crap, but until then i guess i’ll just sit here and scream about it.

#kaito momota #shuichi saihara #maki harukawa #momota kaito #saihara shuichi #harukawa maki #training trio #ndrv3 spoilers #saimota #kaimaki #harumota #u know u know #can you tell that i think about this a lot #character analysis #relationship analysis

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tedturneriscrazy · 3 years

Text

🎶Knock, Knock, Knockin' On Hooty's Door🎵

I wonder if anything will happen in this episode.🙂

(I say as if I didn't watch the episode twice before going to bed and writing this post)

I don't think I'll ever not be amused by the way Hooty just...does things with his face

Seems like he found a thesaurus at some point

Okay so it's canonically spelled "Hootsifer," good to know

Also, this is really all we get of Lilith, huh?

His little hoot/coo at Lilith's letter❤❤❤

To borrow a meme format: If I had a nickel for every time Alex Hirsch was involved in a show where one of the characters was experiencing pubescent voice cracks, I'd have two nickels, which isn't very much but it's weird that it happened twice

Eda's face🤣

As much as this bit is played for laughs, Eda's clearly still shaken by what happened last episode

Jeez, Luz, priorities /j

Pictured: Hooty

The way King talks about being pelleted implies this is something Hooty does on the regular

Hooty's plan to help King is literally a Buzzfeed quiz? Okay then

Betcha never expected lore from Hooty, eh?

"DO NOT INTERRUPT"

Officially a "type of worm"

The dance being a grievous insult wasn't exactly from nowhere, but still funny nonetheless

WE DON'T TALK ABOUT THE FUCKING COCCOON

Tiny Nose playing Switch definitely seems to be drawing from Dana's real life experiences

Wait, Hooty and Tiny Nose are friends?

Well shit, turns out she could use magic this whole time. Guess her going Super Saiyan wasn't just the power glyph.

I am extremely skeptical of your medical credentials, TN

I have so many questions about the methodology they used for the blood test(s)

I think Hooty may have misinterpreted what King was looking for

I'm still amazed at how King has had, and continues to have, moments in the show with some of the greatest emotional weight

Ooh, sound powers!

"IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A CRUMBLE!!!"

It just occurred to me that that segment consisted mostly of Alex Hirsch talking to himself

Hello not-at-all obvious setup

Today I learned that Hooty is the baker of the house. Maybe he'd critique Amity's fairy pie.

Aaaaand there's the sleep inducing

Oh shit

In hindsight the Owl Beast being part of a dream sequence is rather obvious

Wow, Eda, tell us how you really feel about the Owl Beast

Oh we're just gonna ride aboard the Trauma Express today, huh?

Oh, I guess Lilith did make an appearance, after all

Damn, Gwen, not even looking

Oh shit dad issues

Sandy Cohen?! (To anyone who gets that reference, hi. How are your 30s treating you?)

Well, I know who Peter Gallagher voices now, anyway

Oh dear...

(Also, bright flashing lights triggering the curse? There's an epilepsy allegory in here somwhere)

Blood and eye injury? Gotta stretch that Y7 rating

Now we have some context for that look on Eda's face when Lilith mentioned their dad: good old fashioned guilt!

I desparately want to make a "Dude, you're getting a Dell!" joke, but I'm better than that

New memory! Raine!

Oh no...

I get the feeling I'll hate this part, too

They were exes!😢 Guess the fandom called that one

The reasoning for them being exes is understandable, all too real, and goddamn heartbreaking

That said, the fact they never stopped loving each other🥺😢😭

I do hope we can see Raine again under less...traumatic circumstances. Maybe that wedding that was mentioned?

Oh shit, are we getting into the Owl Beast's memories?!?! What a tweest!

Bet nobody expected Cloaked Moonface to show up in the frickin Hooty episode

(Also, holy shit I briefly forgot this was the Hooty episode)

Who is this mysterious cloaked figure? And why are they so tall and long?

So the curse was a sealed beast this whole time. Damn.

And it was just picked up as beach junk to sell as a trinket. So much for it being connected to Belos. (Not that people will stop trying to do so)

Who had "experiencing sympathy for the Owl Beast" on their Bingo cards for this episode? Yeah, me neither.

And here we have the necessary Eda coming to terms with her curse segment. More accurately, Eda and the curse coming to terms with each other.

Goddamnit why does it have to be cute

"It's like sandpaper" IT'S LIKE A CAT I FUCKING CAN'T

Insert Steamed Hams reference here to kill the mood

New transformation!

Oh no she's hot!

No, Hooty, you made it surprisingly much, much better!

She might have a problem pushing people away and holding onto guilt, but Eda always knows that she looks damn good

Oh right, Luz having girl problems. Fuck, so much is happening in this episode!

"Cotton-candy-haired Goddess" LUZ! 🤣

Attuned to other people's emotions = being a fucking creeper

Oh Luz, what happened to you back home?

Also, 99.999% certain Amity would love your cheesiness

That's...rather morbid, Hooty

So much lore development, including the fact the Owl House has a basement

Classic inanimate object silhouette fakeout gag. Subversion in 3...2...1...

There it is!

I can't imagine being pelleted is a fun experience.

Honestly I have so many questions about how Hooty got Amity there in the first place, but I'm not so sure I actually want to know the answers to any of them...

Cue much panicking

Wow, I'm really getting some Into the Bunker flashbacks

Oh this is gonna be amazing isn't it

I commend Luz for not actually dropping dead of embarrassment

Seriously, how can Hooty set all this up so fast yet not hold a pen?!?!?!

Poor Luz, she thinks this is destroying her chances

Meanwhile Amity is just "Oh, Titan, is this actually happening?!"

The way she's fixing her hair!❤

Goddamnit Luz let this play out, she's so clearly into this!

"Again?!" Okay who do I have to kill?

Luz is luzing it

Nooooooo....

JUST TALK FOR FUCK'S SAKE (aka how like 95% of issues in literally any plot could be solved)

Noooo Amity's so heartbroken right now💔

This isn't what either of them wanted!

To be fair, Hooty, Luz had a part in this too. Not that she can be blamed entirely. Poor thing clearly had some awful experiences back home...

Now Hooty is McFucking losing it

Why did I think he was gonna say "Looks like I'm gonna have to JUMP!" I think I've watched too much Homestar Runner (jk there's no such thing)

Those pulsating organs are still gross

Eda swooping in to save her son (No, really, he actually is now)

I'll say things get weird when Hooty gets upset!

Yes, King! Save them with your voice powers!

Damn that is some romantic lighting, and Luz is enjoying the eye candy (cotton candy, if you will)

Luz's reaction to Harpy!Eda is the family-friendly summation of how the fandom has reacted.

Hooty really just tearing up the landscape in remorse

Mother-daughter moment about love life!

I appreciate not just Eda's encouragement but her actually asking Luz what she wanted

God, Eda is best mom

Also, OH FUCK IS THIS HAPPENING?!

OH SHIT

THESE ADORABLY AWKWARD NERDS❤💜💙

"I'm not as cool as you think" could be interpreted as self-deprecating, but here it seems...oddly reassuring?

The way Luz eloquently says how she wants Amity in her future...beautiful❤

Luz making some good faces

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

YOU CUTE DORKS I LOVE YOU SO MUCH

THERE IT IS AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

LOOK HOW HAPPY SHE IS

WE WERE LOSING OUR SHIT OVER A PECK ON THE CHEEK THREE WEEKS AGO AND NOW LOOK WHERE WE ARE HOLY FUCK

Awkwardness is still there, but that's to be expected

BET Y'ALL DIDN'T EXPECT THAT TRAILER SHOT TO BE IN THE HOOTY EPISODE HUH

THE WAY LUZ RUBS AMITY'S HAND😭😭😭😭😭

(And yeah, it's gonna still be scary, but only because it promises to be so wonderful)

Let's give it up for Hootsifer, goddamn!

Let'a also appreciate just how fucking funny it is that Lumity becomes official in the Hooty episode

Fus ro WEH!

Hooty actually saying "Luz's new GF" out loud...

In just about any other show the love interests getting together would be a climax/culmination of the entire plot. Here? It's actually used to advance the plot, and that is brilliant!

Dana Terrace and the crew really just knocking it out of the park again and again, huh

"They're adorable, and deserve all the happiness!" Well said, Hootsifer. Well said.

Probably for the best they had Hooty promise that. As much as what happened/progressed, there was a lot of property damage.

OH SHIT ONCE AGAIN

King's dad/relative! And he's voiced by Kevin Michael Richardson!

GODDAMNIT HOOTY

Wow. Just...wow. This episode.

King has voice powers! Harpy!Eda! Lumity are girlfriends for real!!!!

How do you pack so much into a single episode?! And so expertly?!

I had my suspicions before, but this confirms it: The Owl House is the greatest show of all time.

And we have two episodes left until the hiatus! And 11 episodes in the season after that! What are we in for?!?!?!

I, for one, can't wait to find out!

#the owl house #toh hooty #luz noceda #eda clawthorne #king clawthorne #lilith clawthorne #gwendolyn clawthorne #dell clawthorne #raine whispers #amity blight #lumity #toh s2 spoilers #the owl house s2 spoilers #the owl house season 2 spoilers #the owl house spoilers #toh spoilers

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ihopesocomic · 3 years

Note

Sorry if this is uncomfortable but I watched your video and I wanted to say thank you for some things you said about Kyoga. While I wasn’t in any situation similar to Kyoga’s- I have experienced several events, which caused me to be scared in being honest with some people, terrified of what their reactions will be. I even dealt with guys who wouldn’t take no for a answer. None of these events were extreme but was enough to scar me, (especially since I was already a shy, reserved person to be with) can’t even handle getting yelled or even scolded at without going in a sadden state, bursting into tears, or having a mental breakdown.

I have seen people blame Kyoga for being scared to be honest with Lite and if only she had be honest, none of those events would have happened, which frustrated me- it made me feel angry and upset that people act like this towards people who are scared of others around them, especially those who shows red flags. I even watched one video about questioning if Lite was really in the wrong and what was said just got upset. So when I got to the part where you talked about Episode 8 and hearing you explain how Kyoga isn’t to blame for what Lite did, was honestly a relief. It makes me happy to see people who understand why people tend to get scared of others and they feel better keeping things to themselves. This is one of the several issues I deal with and I’m scared of people not taking these things seriously despite how much they effect the way I live and my choices. So again, thank you- watching that part helped me. I hope to get past this through it’s been a struggle, I feel like I’m improving little by little.

I'm really sorry to hear about what you've been through, anon. I truly hope you continue to improve. You're truly awesome for the progress you're making - never forget that.

The funny thing is that, when I first got into Tribble's work, it was by viewing Cow of the Wild Episode 20 and I remember the numerous comments blaming Mink - who was Kyoga's prototype in that show - for the actions of Rune - the antagonist and Lite's prototype. When all Mink did was (truthfully) express that she and Rune were never mates and she loved Balder, who Rune would later end up murdering. Just like Lite killed Karabi. So, yeah, I saw people blaming Kyoga for Lite's shit coming from a mile away. It was pretty much the same recycled situation. It bothered me with COTW and it was super concerning with My Pride. Why such a thing was recycled for that show was beyond me. Especially when the series is about deconstructing abuse and empowering abuse victims. The idea that a woman's actions is responsible for a man throwing a huge shit fit is one that needs to die in fiction. I've said no to dangerous men with stalker tendencies before (because they take one look at an aromantic woman and think 'ah! a challenge!') and it certainly would not be my fault if they did evil shit out of that raging entitlement they feel to me. It's downright disturbing and gross and the fact that it's happened not once but twice with this creator is... concerning, to say the least. All I will say is that she at least tried to moderate people this time around and insist that Lite is indeed responsible for his own actions, not Kyoga.

People misinterpreting your intent can happen but Kyoga still felt like a huge step backward from Mink. Mink consistently told Rune to piss off. Kyoga was shown granting mercy to somebody who beat his kill count by wiping out an entire kingdom as opposed to a royal family. It then resulted in the death of her girlfriend.

"HE WAS MY FRIEND!" - your friend just went and wiped out the entire Storm Kingdom? Also, what kind of person reduces her girlfriend's entire family being murdered to a 'horrible thing'? And Karabi deserved better than to have that be one of the last things to have her girlfriend say to her. And that's another thing: I know this script is bad and yet it still makes me shake my head at Kyoga and think her a very foolish character and I shouldn't?? She's a victim??? Just... I don't get it. I honestly don't get the intent behind that entire scene (amongst other things) and probably never shall. It really grosses me out too.

#ask #ask us stuff #tw abuse #writing tips

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alirhi · 3 years

Text

Loki ranting

Okay. I had this thought in my head of like just compiling links of all the Loki shit I've posted/reblogged so far so that when I get into a conversation about the show and how it fucking disgusted me, I can just be like "here. here's this masterlist post, go read all this shit. This is my entire argument, and not only mine, but a lot of stuff posted by people far more intelligent and level-headed and eloquent than I am, whom I happen to agree with." Because the alternative is constantly getting fired up all over again, and that is exhausting.

BUT! I'm stupid and don't know how tumblr works. Apparently I can't just be like "give me all the Loki-tagged shit I've got" I can only search all the Loki-tagged shit on all of tumblr. And I'm not scrolling back through all of my posts. I talk too fucking much for that shit 😂

So, I'll try to remember all of my grievances with how the MCU has treated Loki, and all of the excellent posts made by other, equally upset fans, and put it all together here under this nice, neat little cut for everyone else's sanity and scrolling convenience...

For people who actually read my shit fairly regularly - bless you, you crazy, patient people. I love you! - this is going to be a lot of repetition of shit you've already read. Probably at least twice. I'm passionate and I have a terrible memory lol. Sorry.

Anyway, first, for those who don't know me and haven't been following my explosions of rage for the past couple of months, some quick background: I do not read comic books, so Loki's Marvel comic canon means nothing to me. I know almost nothing about it. The reason I'm so in love with the character in the MCU is because I am an eclectic witch and the deity I've actively loved and worshiped the longest in my life (literally for as long as I can remember) is Loki. So when he was mentioned in The Mask, I squeed. When they named Matt Damon's character after him in Dogma, I cheered.

When Thor came out in 2011, I just about died from happiness. I was hungry for any representation of this underappreciated god, no matter what it was. I didn't even bitch about how underpowered he was, because at least he was there. But I'm getting slightly ahead of myself.

I can hear anyone reading this going "Why Loki? Isn't he, like, evil? Like basically the Norse version of The Devil?" Because I heard all this shit irl all the fucking time. And no. So let me give you a quick rundown of who Loki actually is.

Loki is a Trickster God. He's often referred to as the God of Mischief. He is not and never was evil, simply chaotic and hedonistic. Loki Laufeyjarson was the son of Laufey (that's mama; they changed her to a man for some reason in the movie) and Fárbauti. Right from the start, from his name, we get a sign of how Loki goes against traditional norms of the time, because in Norse culture, families were patrilineal, and surnames were "son/daughter of father" (which would have made him Loki Fárbautitason), not the mother. But Loki's surname is matrilineal. Feminist icon woo! lol

Though he's a Jotunn, Loki is counted among the Gods (Aesir) in Norse tradition. Depending on his mood, he is alternately helpful or disruptive to the other Gods. I'm not gonna sit and teach a whole text class on him lol but I'll use my favorite example of Misunderstood Loki - the conception of Sleipnir!

So, get this shit. This is also part of why I DO NOT follow Odin and never fucking will (a very small part, but still part of the reason). So, the other Norse Gods are petty motherfuckers, and they wanted some shit built but didn't want to pay the dude doing the building. So they were like "okay, if you can get it done in X amount of time, we'll pay you, but if you can't manage it NO MATTER WHAT, this whole thing is free." And they made sure he had NO help, nothing but him, his materials, and his Very Good Horsey. And this guy and his horse were fucking BAMFs. So it was looking like he was definitely gonna get it done in time, and Odin was like "nah, fuck that shit. I'm cheap." and so he sent Loki to distract the work horse. Loki transformed into a mare and lured the horse away, got fucked, got pregnant, gave birth to the 8-legged (for some reason) horse Sleipnir. Odin rides Loki's son into battle. Um. Kay.

So Loki helped Odin be a petty mf, and Odin got himself a new pet out of the deal.

Oh, also, because he's smart af and a shapeshifter and a master magician and genderfluid, Loki "fails" to fit the super fucking toxic and narrow Norse/Aesir view of "a real man". He prefers intelligence and manipulation to solve problems rather than violence, he's not afraid to behave like a clown if it gets shit done, and that grosses the Aesir out, so they constantly ridicule him for being "less than a man".

Loki is the God of the outcast and the misunderstood. The marginalized people from all walks of life. He is the God of the LGBT community. In modern terms, he's pansexual, polyamorous (married to Sigyn and they are deeply in love, but boy gets around and I've never seen any indication that Sigyn gives a shit) and genderfluid.

Okay. Focus, Ali. This is part of why I usually post multiple rants instead of one big long one XD The longer I ramble, the more I get sidetracked and forget the original point.

So. Loki's awesome, and being a Trickster, is powerful as all fucking hell. There's not much he can't do.

And now we come to Thor (the movie, not the deity). Loki's there! 24-year-old Ali is spazzing! All is right with the world!

Oh lord, they've actually done him justice?! Amazing! He's complex and nuanced and emotional, just like the real Loki! I loved this movie. Loved. It. The climactic thing with trying to blow up Jotunheim never really made much sense to me until someone made an excellent point the other day about Loki being raised in a racist society that was racist against his own race, he just didn't know it yet, poor child. Baby Thor was never corrected when he pledged to commit mass genocide, so Baby Loki probably absorbed the lesson then that Jotunns=evil and killing them all will win his father's love. Anyway, 2011 Loki was a beautiful, heartbreaking portrayal of the God I've loved all my life and spent 24 years longing to see depicted on the big screen.

Then The Avengers happened. And I saw another Loki very close to Norse mythology - mainly, how he's treated. In the beginning of the movie, he's sick, exhausted, and in pain. He can hardly stand, he stumbles and needs help when he walks. He was very obviously tortured, and the sickly blue light of the scepter's control is in his eyes. That gets less and less pronounced as the movie goes on, showing Loki working his way free of it, but in the beginning, he's a mess. Because he was tortured and used by Thanos. Marvel directly confirmed this, and that he was under the scepter's/Mind Stone's control. Loki's actions are not his own in The Avengers. He's under both threat and Thanos' direct control. The movie actually shows The Other directly threatening him to keep him on task, because this is not Loki's plan. It is not what he wants. He's being used and villainized... Just like in real life. It hurt to see this done to him, but the accuracy was too beautiful to ignore.

Thor: The Dark World comes out. I've heard people complain that this movie is the weak link in the Thor trilogy. I disagree. I think that's Ragnarok, for a bunch of reasons, but we'll get there. (And for the record, I loved Ragnarok, too. It was a funny movie. Infinity War and the Disney+ series are the only portrayals of Loki in the MCU that I truly fucking hated.) Anyway, good, fun movie. Had its faults, as all movies do, but it still followed Loki's real-life arc in a way. How? By having Loki dragged back to Asgard in chains and imprisoned underground. Again, not super happy that this happened to my love, and having to see it on screen was painful, but at least in the MCU he's not chained to a rock with venom dripping on his face for eternity, so there's that. (poor Sigyn. how tired do her arms get, holding up that bowl? best wife ever, amirite?)

In TDW, we're shown Loki's love for Frigga, who favored him and taught him magic as a child. We see his bravado; his attempts to mask his true feelings, especially grief. We see him slowly coming back to himself after the events of The Avengers, and slowly mending his relationship with his brother. He accepts that Odin will likely never love him, but Thor just might, because they were close when they were young. "I didn't do it for him." No, no my sweet, you did it for your brother, and a little out of guilt for what happened to your mother.

At the end, Loki fakes his death and escapes, taking the throne, and I have mixed feelings about this. Not the writer's choices here; I love that completely! A natural progression in Loki's story. But my joy is tainted by how closely they're following the Eddas now. Because Loki's escape from his prison heralds the beginning of Ragnarok. And Loki will die in Ragnarok. I don't want to see that play out in front of my face. I won't be able to handle the grief (spoiler alert! IW broke me. I almost walked out of the theater. Loki's death was legitimately fucking traumatic for me. I don't even care how pathetic that is. That grief was real, it was intense, and I still shake and cry when I think about it.)

Marvel announces that Thor 3 will be called Ragnarok. The internet treats this as a shocking revelation. I roll my eyes and mumble "duh" to myself and move on XD

Then they say Ragnarok will be a buddy comedy. I throw up a little in my mouth and no longer want to live on this planet. If they're going to make something called Ragnarok, could they at least treat it with even a fraction of the respect they've shown these characters thusfar? Jfc. I mean, I'll see it anyway, because I'm a whore for Tom Hiddleston lol. But come on, people!

I hated that they made Hel the long-lost older sister and Fenrir her fucking pet/attack dog. Those are my favorites of Loki's children! Hel is such an incredible badass that the early Christians named their dimension of eternal torture after her! They were terrified of her, to the point of naming the place that terrified them most after her. That's awesome! And Fenrir's just the best. I love wolves. Those two details, and Odin's retcon of "we're not Gods! ...lol, except your sister. she's totally a Goddess. and def gonna kill literally everything, so... good luck! byyyeeeee" pissed me off royally.

The rest was great. I genuinely liked this movie. Still do. And they finally used The Immigrant Song! That was pretty cool. If they'd thrown in Bring the Hammer Down and Thunderstruck, I might've called this movie perfect. XD

I wasn't totally in love with their portrayal of Loki in Ragnarok. Yes, the falling for 30 minutes line was funny, as was "I have to get off this planet" and "YES! That's how it feels!" And "Get Help" was funny as hell. But also, like... There is no way Loki would have been the dumb one in that first encounter with Hela. Also, he can teleport and project copies of himself and shit, so... He would not have been that desperate to go straight back to Asgard and bring her right along with them. Loki's not stupid. But whatever. Movie's gotta movie.

What I did love was seeing the slow mending of his relationship with Thor continuing, and the badass fighting on the bridge. I also loved that, like Real Loki, Movie Loki helped when help was needed, was quick and clever, and while he was carrying out the main plan, he was also planning ahead and grabbing the Tesseract. Yes, that drew Thanos right to them, but that's a whole other thing. Loki never would have left that thing on Asgard to be destroyed or lost.

And now Infinity War. Hooooly fucking shit. You know what? No. I'm not going into this. He was killed, years of character growth were erased forever, my heart fucking shattered. The end.

Endgame. IW hurt me so bad I didn't see Endgame until this year. I actually watched Civil War first (for context: I had actively avoided all Cap movies until this year because I fucking hate Steve Rogers. I find him insufferable. Did not realize what I was denying myself until I watched CW and finally saw the charms of Bucky. When he appeared in IW, I was so lost. XD I was like "...who dis? Murder Jesus?" also I just... didn't care. I was numb by then from crying through most of the movie over Loki)

So, anyway. Endgame. Loki picks up the Tesseract in alternate 2012, escapes, fans go "yay! he didn't actually die!" I go "yes he fucking did. Five years of his life, gone. Five years of growth and change, erased. Loki is dead. This will not be the same."

I was more right than I could have predicted. Now we come to the point of this rant. Sorry it took so long, but you were warned lol.

The Loki series makes me so angry I actually get sick to my stomach. It was fucking TRASH. When I praised Marvel for following Norse mythology so faithfully earlier? Yeah. I DID NOT MEAN TREAT HIM THE WAY THE OTHER GODS DID. I did not mean paint him as a pitiful clown, a joke, a caricature of who he truly was, with his pain and suffering played for LAUGHS.

This is supposed to be 2012 Loki, newly freed from Thanos' control. The Loki we saw in the beginning of TDW - snarky, exhausted, nihilistic. The Loki who rolled his eyes and said "get on with it" expecting to be killed.

The bumbling clown flipping on a dime from posturing to calling himself weak is not 2012 Loki. That is not ANY Loki. That is Tom Hiddleston in a black wig doing what he's told by a shitty writer who had no fucking idea what he was doing and was salty about his (bad) original script (for something totally fucking unrelated) getting killed.

In Episode 1, Loki is mocked, imprisoned, stripped against his will, tormented, belittled, and given a flippant summary of all the trauma Actual MCU Loki suffered that this one skipped out on, with no context, no acknowledgement of the trauma he's already lived quite fucking recently, and with the narrative twisted to not only erase all the abuse he's suffered, but to make it all his fault. And this is supposed to make him want to help these people?

And worse, IT FUCKING WORKS. WHAT?! I CAN'T- FUCKING WHAT?! Remember when I said LOKI IS NOT FUCKING STUPID?! So why is he STUPID?

Episode 2, he's a child. Mentally, this Loki is a fucking child. Now we've erased all the growth and development of his entire adult life. He's dopey, impatient, impulsive, desperate for a pat on the back and actually shows it. Yes, abused and neglected children crave the positive attention we never received, and we often grow up to be a bit emotionally stunted. But not all of us, and not Loki. Not as we've seen him EVER in the rest of the MCU. Playful and a bit callous at times? Absolutely! But not a big dumb fucking puppy.

Episode 3, a ray of hope, despite Sylvie! (I hate Sylvie) Loki casually admits he's pan/bi; labels never come up, but he admits to being with both men and women! He sings! Not really relevant to whether I approve of his portrayal or not lol but Tom has a beautiful voice, Norwegian ("Asgardian" lol) is a gorgeous, entrancing language, and I could watch that one bit on loop for eternity and never get bored. And then, finally, we see a glimpse - a glimpse - of Loki's power! He stops a falling building and pushes it right back up! Are we finally getting to see what he can really do? Will the next episode bring us Loki in all his glory?

Nope. 4 and 5 we see him mocked and pushed around and utterly irrelevant. Again. We see tiny reflections of what he could maybe theoretically do in other random Loki variants, but the "main" (lawl. main. it was the Sylvie and Mobius show. Loki was never the main anything.) Loki? Nothing. He wears his heart on his sleeve for no reason, bonds with the man who imprisoned, taunted, and gaslit him, is killed, and continues to be a moron and a joke. Always the clown. Always the dumb one. The one with the bad ideas. The inferior Loki.

Don't even get me started on that finale. I can't. This already took so much out of me. Fuck Marvel. Fuck this fucking show. I just... I'm done.

#loki #loki spoilers #loki series #loki negativity #loki hate #thor 2011 #the dark world #ragnarok #the avengers #infinity war #endgame #fuck sylvie #fuck marvel #fuck disney #this show sucked #ragepost #rant #long post #ali is angry

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jamaisjoons · 4 years

Text

intro: her XI ⤑ knj | m

⟶ 𝑠𝑢𝑚𝑚𝑎𝑟𝑦:〝 you enter namjoon’s life in the most unexpected of ways, but will you be able to stay, especially when he comes with three adorable but chaotic children, even more chaotic best friends and a bitch of an ex-wife? not to mention your own emotional baggage. 〞singe dad au.

❥ 𝑝𝑎𝑖𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑔: single dad!namjoon x marine vet!reader

❥ 𝑔𝑒𝑛𝑟𝑒: angst ⋆ fluff

❥ 𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑑 𝑐𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑡: 6k

⟶ 𝑤𝑎𝑟𝑛𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑠: it starts of super fucking fluffy, like - fluff galore, there’s a naked bath scene but like nothing sexual happens, just lots of soft kisses and touches,,, but they are naked so,,,, also it gets a lil sad/angsty towards the end, reader broods about her past toxic relationship, mentions of cheating/infidelity, then it gets sappy and fluffy again because joon is a gentle giant bear and i love him thank u for coming to this solar talk

➵ 𝑎/𝑛: guess what’s back, back again. intro: her’s back, tell a FRIEND,,,, yeeHAW it’s a new chapter of the lONG, L O N G awaited intro: her. I’m so damn sorry it took so long, idk what got into me but i was missing my babies and my man so i hAD to return to it like asap

⏤ thank you to miss ellie aka @hobisbeautifulass so betaing this for me ! sorry it took me so long to add this omg

⇥ Previous || Masterlist || Next

Sitting on Namjoon’s sofa, you’re surrounded by the boys as you play an intense game of Mario Kart. Rap Mon is currently curled on the floor, his tail flicking lazily as he watches the screen. Jungkook’s small body - as usual - lies on your dog, using Monie as his person pillow. Not that your dog minds really - especially with the way he’s got his head perched on Jungkook’s small knee. Jimin sits against his father’s lap, watching as Namjoon helplessly tries to steer Toadette’s pram around the circuit. Taehyung, on the other hand, is seated on your lap, and you hold the wheel close to your body - allowing the little boy to press the button.

Usually, Jungkook would be glued to you; and for the most part, he still is. However, when Namjoon asked who he wanted to play with, Jungkook had shaken his head - his hair flopping with the action - and declared to his father, in a very proud voice, that he could do it himself. You’d wanted to believe him at first, but the shiftiness in his eyes had confused you. Until you’d started playing - and then, you’d found out that Namjoon was damn awful at the game. Of course, you’d offered to play with Jungkook yourself, with his wildly competitive streak, he’d also refused you - to Namjoon’s utter surprise.

Thus, you’d ended up the way you had: with Jimin and Namjoon, you and Taehyung and Jungkook by himself. Keeping your attention focused on the screen, you stick your tongue out in concentration. Of course, when Jungkook had requested you play Mario Kart, you’d been over the moon. You absolutely adored the Mario games, and Mario Kart was something you’d played frequently during University - whenever you needed to relax from the crushing workload of training to become a vet.

“Alright, Tigger, now,” you whisper to Taehyung. King Boo - your character - aligns right behind Namjoon, and as soon as you do, Taehyung presses the B button, firing off the green shell you’d been storing.

“What the- HEY! Why would you do that?” Namjoon shouts, turning and staring at you in disbelief. A mischievous smile painted on your lip, Taehyung bouncing in your lap happily, you shrug at your boyfriend. Namjoon growls, his lip pulling into a slight pout as he ducks his head to the side. Grumbling under his breath, “I was already a lap behind anyway,” he mutters. Suppressing the cackle at the back of your throat, you simply blow him a kiss before turning your attention back to the screen.

From the corner of your eye, you see Jungkook sit up straight - his little shoulders tense as he leans forward slightly. The two of you are neck and neck - Jungkook just a little behind you. Loosening your grip on the wheel slightly, you let yourself swerve to the side just before the finish line - allowing Jungkook to overtake you - consequently taking first place. Throwing the controller down, Jungkook stands up on his little legs and begins jumping around.

“I did it! I did it! I came first,” Jungkook starts yelling as he bounces in victory. His excitement instantly has Monie on his feet, your dog’s tail wagging happily as he runs around Jungkook’s small body in circles. Jungkook turns to you and runs up to the sofa. Placing his hands on the edge, he jumps up and down while looking at you, his face a picture-perfect expression of elation. “Noona! Noona did you see? Did you see? I came first!” Jungkook says.

Face softening, you nod happily, causing him to beam. At this moment, it doesn’t matter that you’d purposely thrown every circuit of the cup, it doesn’t matter that you’d spent half your time making sure the computer-controlled characters didn’t overtake him, and it definitely doesn’t matter that you’ve come second. No, because right now, all that matters is that Jungkook is happy - and you simply don’t have the heart to tell him you purposely let him win - nor would you ever.

Instead, biting your lip, you reach out and ruffle his hair, “well done, baby. I knew you could do it!” you tell him. Jungkook grins brightly at your praise, his entire body vibrating with cheerfulness.

“It’s okay, daddy,” Jimin’s sweet voice carries out. Jungkook immediately stops celebrating, both your attention turning to him. Once again, you bite your lip, trying to stop yourself from cooing at the scene. Jimin’s currently standing on the couch, his face incredibly close to Namjoon. Squeezing his father’s cheeks between his small palms, squishing your boyfriend’s face together and causing his lips to puff out, Jimin sweetly comforts Namjoon. “I don’t mind losing! You did your best daddy,” Jimin continued.

This time, you can’t help the way your face softens, a quiet ‘aww’ falling from your lips. Namjoon’s arms wind around Jimin’s small body before he pulls his son into his embrace. Burying his face into Jimin’s soft belly, Namjoon blows a raspberry - previous upset at losing the game already forgotten. Jimin’s squealing giggles fill the air, the jubilant sound echoing through the living room. Seeing his twin, Taehyung leaps out of your lap and throws himself towards his father, not wanting to be left out.

Instantly, Jungkook’s eyes light up and seizing the opportunity, he climbs into your lap. Making himself comfortable between your crossed legs, you and Jungkook watch as Namjoon gently wrestles his sons - their childish titters weaving together as he begins tickling them. Finally, both boys squirming vigorously, Namjoon relents. However, instead of letting them go, he whispers into their eyes - muttering so low under his breath you can’t make out what he’s saying, though the impish glint in his eyes doesn’t bode well for you; neither does the mischievous twinkle in the twins’ eyes.

“Now!” Namjoon says. The abrupt sound startles you, causing you to jerk. The only thing keeping you from falling off the sofa is your instinct to keep Jungkook from getting hurt - you know that if you fall, so does he.

However, in the second you catch yourself from falling off of the sofa, Jimin and Taehyung attack you. The two boys jump onto you, their bodies bouncing on the sofa as they begin tickling you. Your eyes widen when you feel their fingers wiggle over your body, raucous, childish giggles filling the air and mixing with your own. Usually, you’d struggle violently - but with the smaller boys around you, you’re conscious of hurting them - and thus, you subconsciously subdue your squirming body. However, that only gives them more room to continue their assault. Not wanting to be left out, Jungkook grins and joins his brothers, Namjoon laughing from the other side of the sofa.

“Joon! Oh my god, Joonie, please,” you whine, heaving for air through your laughter. Your boyfriend’s eyes soften, and taking pity on you, gathers his sons in one sweep of his arms. With the three finally off of you, you gasp for air in an attempt to catch your breath. “I hate you,” you mumble, tilting your head to Namjoon and sending him a mock glare.

Namjoon lets go of his sons, his face falling dramatically as he clutches his heart. “Oh, my love, you wound me,” he gasps theatrically before turning and flopping onto your lap. He looks up at you, his gentle umber eyes swimming with nothing but tender love. A soft smile curls on your face and you gently trace his features: over his strong eyebrows and along the delicate slope of his nose. You tap his nose twice with the tip of your pointer finger before you cup his face. Then, bending at the waist, you press a soft kiss against his lips.

Your boyfriend smiles against your mouth, before reciprocating as he tenderly returns your soft kiss. A chorus of ‘gross’ resounds through the air, the boys flopping on their father as their noses scrunch identically at the display of affection. The two of you laugh softly, your breaths fanning each other’s face - but neither of you moves. Eyes twinkling with contentment, and Namjoon’s mirroring yours, you both brush your noses together - your mouths caressing each other in a series of butterfly kisses.

Lost in the moment, neither of you notice when Seokjin, Yoongi and Hoseok enter the living room; nor do you notice the triumphal smiles on their face. Silently, they watch the five of you. Taehyung and Jimin catch their attention first, both boys briskly crawling off the sofa before running up to the three of them. Jungkook, noticing his brothers are gone, looks around - only to find them in Hoseok and Yoongi’s arms. Briefly, he turns to you and Namjoon, rolling his eyes when he realises the two of you aren’t going to separate anytime soon. Sliding off the sofa, he waddles over to Seokjin before gesturing for the older man to pick him up.

Meanwhile, practically oblivious to your surroundings, you and Namjoon stare into each other’s guys, whispering soft nothings while you continue lavishing each other in gentle tenderness. Eventually, growing sick of the display, Seokjin clears his throat. Instantly, the two of you stiffen, Namjoon sitting up slightly as you both stare at the newcomers with wide eyes.

An impish twinkle in his eyes, and a playful lop-sided smile curled on his face, “well, isn’t this adorably domestic,” Seokjin teases. Groaning, your head falls back onto the sofa, Namjoon rolling his eyes at the slight taunting lilt to Seokjin's voice.

"Don't," comes his only reply. Hoseok's eyes wander over your figure, his eyebrow quirking at your state of dress.

"When was the last time you went home?" he asks. Biting your lip, your gaze down at yourself, your face flushing with heat. Dressed in a pair of Namjoon's boxers, an oversized t-shirt with your university logo on it, and fuzzy socks; you know you're the epitome of comfy. Hell, your face is thrown up into a messy bun, strands of hair falling out of it and framing your face in an unkempt way.

Face intensely heated, "I went home two days ago," you mumble under your breath. Twin scoffs of disbelief echo, causing you to scowl at Seokjin and Hoseok.

"And when was the last time you actually stayed home?" Seokjin asks. That immediately causes you to shut up, your jaw clamping tight as you purse your lips. "Yeah, that's what I thought," Seokjin snorts. Turning to Taehyung, the boy happily sitting in Yoongi's arms, Seokjin directs his attention to him before asking, "When was the last time noona stayed home?"

"I don't know," Taehyung replies with a casual shrug of his shoulders.

"I went home two days ago, oh my god!" you reply, your voice taking a defensive tone. Yoongi snorts, causing you to despair - even he didn't believe you. Grumbling under your breath, you throw your hands up in the air in exasperation, "Okay fine! I don't remember the last time I stayed at home - and I only really go back to get more clothes. But even then, I have enough here that I could just do laundry," you ramble, a pout forming on your lip as you look away. Eyebrows shooting into their hairline, the three simply blink at you, taking in your words.

"How do you get to work?" Yoongi asks, causing you to shrink behind Namjoon. Sensing your embarrassment, he tilts his head from his place on your lap and presses a kiss against your kneecap in comfort.

"Did you not see her car in the driveway? She drives to work," Namjoon rolls his eyes.

"Damn, why don't you just move in?" Hoseok taunts - his tone is light, and meant in a joking manner - but both you and Namjoon startle for a minute, looking at each other in surprise. Shyly, you smile at him before ducking your head down. As much as you love him, and as much as you've grown used to being around him and essentially moving into his house - it was still too soon to be thinking about that. Seokjin opens his mouth to say something, but in an instant, Yoongi cuts him off.

"Anyway, do you have time? We didn't come over to tease you," he says. Nodding at his oldest friends, Namjoon finally gets up from your lap before gesturing to the empty seats. Shifting closer to Namjoon, you sink into his side, Namjoon loosely resting his hand in your lap. Instinctively, your fingers lace between his, neither of you even thinking about the gesture.

Putting the boys down onto the carpet, you watch as they begin playing with each other. It always surprised you how easily they were able to read the room - as much attention as they craved, they always knew when to settle down and leave the adults alone. You turn your attention to Seokjin, Hoseok and Yoongi, your eyes skimming their faces for any clue about what they're going to talk about. However, Yoongi's face is a picture of stoicism, Seokjin's easy gaze giving away nothing - though, Hoseok winks playfully at you. His light gesture has you relaxing, the tension in your shoulders deflating as you sink further into Namjoon's side. At least you know it's nothing serious.

"So, what's up?" Namjoon asks, his voice calm.

"We've booked a world tour. You, Yoongi and Hoseok," Seokjin says, taking charge of the meeting. Your eyes widen, excitement bubbling in your veins. A tour! It's been about two years since they've toured - you couldn't wait to see them on stage. You hadn't been able to go the last time - they'd toured while you were amidst your final year exams. However, this year, nothing would stop you from supporting your boyfriend and friends.

Unable to contain your excitement, you bounce in your seat. Namjoon turns to you, quirking his eyebrows. A burst of adrenaline rushes through you, and before you can even think about it, you're kissing Namjoon on the corner of his lips. Your boyfriend looks at you in stunned surprise before a lazy smirk crawls onto his face.

"Someone's excited," Hoseok laughs, causing you to turn and stick your tongue out at him.

"Of course I'm excited - it's going to be amazing! It's been so long since any of you have been on tour- and I couldn't go last time. But I will go this time - even if it means I have to wake up at the asscrack of dawn to buy tickets," you reply, nodding your head in determination. For most of it, Namjoon looks at you in happiness - though, he can't help the twinge of sadness in his heart.

Eyes softening, he regards you tenderly: with your bouncing legs, bright smile and animated chatter, you are a picture-perfect sight of joy and elation. He should be happy - and the majority of him is: he's got a loving, supportive girlfriend, three wonderful children and he's at the peak of his career. However, right now, all he can think about is how good it's been between the two of you; how easy you've both fallen into a routine: waking up together, getting the boys ready for school before going to work, then coming home and spending time together only to head to bed together. He's grown comfortable in domesticated bliss - and he can't help but wonder what it'd be like on tour; being so far apart, unable to touch each other or be near each other - like you are now.

"Joon?" you ask. His eyes come back into focus, your visage becoming clearer. He smiles gently at you, shaking his head at the soft worry evident in your eyes. "What's wrong?" you ask, squeezing his hand in comfort. Namjoon returns your squeeze, basking in the comfort you so effortlessly offer.

"I'm just worried I guess. It's been a while - and last time it was easy because I could take the boys with me. Everyone was with me. But-"

Namjoon begins. He doesn't need to finish his train of thought, because you're finishing it for him, "but this time I'll still be here in Seoul," you supply. Namjoon nods, his usually warm eyes dulling with melancholia. You shake your head, the loose wisps of your hair following the movement, "it's okay. This is your job- your dream before you met me. I'll still be here for you when you come home- and maybe, I could come to see you one day," you offer.

Taking comfort in your words, Namjoon lifts your hand to his mouth before pressing a soft kiss to the back of your palm. His heart clenches at your words - even now, when he's about to leave for months, you don't resent him for it. Instead, you simply step aside, offering nothing but warmth and support. "You're right. And you don't need to wake up at the asscrack of dawn to buy tickets. I'll give you as many as you want- for whatever dates you want," Namjoon replies. Eyes widening, you look at him in shock - stunned by his offer.

"Are you serious?" you gape, your jaw completely slacked. Namjoon chuckles, turning back to his friends.

"Yup! We can do that, right?" Namjoon asks. The three of them snort in response.

"You literally just ignored our presence for a good five minutes - why should we help you?" Yoongi questions, his eyes are passive and cool - but you notice the light twitch to the corners of his lips. Relaxing, you let out a breath of relief. At least he wasn't really angry. Though, you can't help the heat of embarrassment that flashes through you briefly - really the two of you need to stop doing that.

A small wave of guilt washing through you, "I'm sorry," you apologise with a slight now. Seokjin and Hoseok sigh dramatically at your gesture.

"See, now how are we supposed to stay fake-mad when you do that?" Hoseok sighs theatrically.

Seokjin nods beside him sagely, "yeah, we'll give you all the tickets you want," he says in mock pensiveness. Eyes rolling at their dramatics, you ignore them - more than used to them by now - and instead, turn to Namjoon. Once again, you drop an impromptu kiss onto his lips.

"See, it'll be fine!" you reassure Namjoon. Biting his lips, and feeling a lot more sure of himself, Namjoon returns your kiss. From the carpet, you both hear Jungkook sigh loudly - causing you to laugh.

That night, once Seokjin, Hoseok and Yoongi leave, you find yourself in the twins' rooms reading them a bedtime story while Namjoon tidies up. Jimin and Taehyung are in their respective beds, snuggled underneath their covers as they listen to you. Laying on the large beanbag in their room, Jungkook curls into your side, his head resting on your shoulder. Softly, your voice carries out into the still air of the bedroom - you're currently reading one of their favourite fairytales, 'Swan Lake', as they slowly drift to sleep. Your low, mellifluous voice comes to a close as you near the end of the book. Once you're done, you gently shut the book.

Your eyes sweep over the dimly lit room; their bedside lamps and the star projector Namjoon had installed being your only source of light. Bright stars flit over their features, the projector light spinning lethargically and adding to the sleeping ambience of their room. For most of it, their eyes are mainly shut - both the twins' eyelids fluttering as they slip in and out of sleep. Gently, you manoeuvre Jungkook's head off your shoulder so that you can finish tucking the twins into bed. Jungkook whines at the loss of your body, a small pout forming on his face as he squints his eyes blearily at you.

Getting up from the beanbag, you gently pad over to Jimin's bed. Fluffing his pillow slightly, you tuck his blanket under his body before pressing a tender kiss to his forehead. As you move to his twin, Jimin smiles sleepily at you, one eye peeking to watch you repeat your actions with his twin. When you're done, he watches you walk back to Jungkook - carefully lifting the boy into your arms. Jungkook's body is mainly limp, sleep weighing his muscles down. However, that doesn't deter you for one moment - and after a brief struggle - he curls easily into your arms, his head finding the comfortable spot in the crook where your neck meets your shoulders.

As you bend down to switch off the bedside lamp, Jimin calls out to you, "noona?" Humming softly, you turn your attention to him, shifting Jungkook in your arms. "Do you love daddy?" Jimin asks, his voice low and quiet. Your eyes widen at the unexpected question and you blink owlishly at the small boy. Unsure of what to say, or how to answer, you ponder Jimin's question for a few moments - silence falling over the room. Eventually, you decide on the truth.

"Yeah, puppy. I love your daddy a lot," you admit quietly. It's the first time you've said it out loud - and it doesn't matter if it's just to the six-year-old boy - the weight of your words are still heavy - nothing but the truth in them. Jimin smiles and with a nod, he snuggles back into bed.

"But you love us more, right noona?" Jungkook mumbles as he looks at you with a small pout.

Laughing softly, you nod. "Yeah, but don't tell daddy that," you whisper - your tone conspiratorial. You hear Taehyung exhale loudly through his nose, and turn to him, your eyebrow quirking. You'd thought he was already asleep - but clearly, you were wrong. He's looking at you hesitantly, a silent question in his eyes.

"What's wrong, Tigger?" you coax gently. Taehyung brightens up at the use of the nickname, causing you to smile tenderly. Frequently, Namjoon would refer to Taehyung as tiger, and one day, when Taehyung was singing along and bouncing to 'The Wonderful Thing About Tiggers', you called him Tigger: considering he bounced around, was incredibly sweet, and a cuddler to boot. Suffice to say the least, Taehyung had loved your nickname - it was his favourite character in Winnie the Pooh after all - and ever since then, it had just stuck.

Nervously, "are you our mommy now?" Taehyung breathes out. If you'd thought Jimin's question had come out of the blue, Taehyung's one completely throws you for a loop. Unsure of what to say, you stand between their beds - all three of their gazes fixated on you as they expectantly await your answer.

Eventually, you take a deep breath, and gathering all your courage, "that's up to you and Namjoon," you reply. As soon as you say that, the three of them nod - apparently accepting your answer. Taehyung curls further into his sheets, Jimin nuzzling his head against his pillow.

"You should be our mommy... I like your hugs... and you smell nice," Jimin mumbles, his voice heavily laden with sleep. Taehyung makes a soft noise, agreeing with Jimin's sentiment. However, that's all they say - because then, they're both drifting off to sleep.

Overwhelmed with emotion, you wrap your arms tighter around Jungkook and carry him to his own bedroom. Already dressed in his pyjamas, and on the brink of sleep, all you have to do is tuck Jungkook into bed. A feat that would be easy - if Jungkook wasn't desperately clinging to your neck. When you unwrap his arms from his neck, Jungkook whines but acquiesces - letting you place him on the bed. Sitting on the mattress, you begin tucking his sheets under his sides before brushing his hair out of his forehead.

"Noona?" Jungkook asks sleepily - and this time you freeze. A twinge of fear courses through you - is he going to ask you something you're unprepared to answer again?

"What is it, baby?" you ask, swallowing thickly. Jungkook turns to his side, looking at you with his large doe eyes.

"I didn't want you to be my mommy at first," Jungkook breathes out - causing you to freeze - however before you can panic, "because I wanted you to be my girlfriend," he continues. Instantly, relief floods through you, causing you to let out a soft, breathy laugh. Jungkook ignores you, looking at you with nothing but sincerity in his eyes - and you find your breath hitching in your throat. Immediately you know, that you're completely unprepared for whatever he's going to say next.

"But I want you to be my mommy - if it means you'll stay with daddy, Jimin, Taehyung and me forever," Jungkook finishes. The moment he finishes his sentence, your heart grips, tears filling your eyes.

Taking a deep breath, you try to suppress your overwhelming emotions - not wanting to cry in front of Jungkook. Instead, "I'd love to be your mommy - and stay with you all forever," you choke out, your voice straining as your throat constricts.

"Then you should stay - and be our mommy," Jungkook says. His words are simple - as if the answer was there all along - and to Jungkook's four-year-old mind it is simple.

You swallow thickly - gulping audibly. "Yeah, maybe I should," comes your only response.

An hour later, you find yourself submerged in the bath. Light sniffles escape your nose as you wipe the tears from your eyes. Really, you can't help but laugh at yourself. Just a few months ago, you were ready to run for the hills over this level of commitment - and now, here you are, crying in your bath over their sweet words. Never would you have imagined such touching words from them. Of course, they didn't really understand the gravity of their words, and their toddler-like minds couldn't really comprehend forever - yet, they'd still asked you, oh so sweetly, to be in their lives forever. So easily, with only a shred of hesitation - they'd bravely asked you to be their mother, to love and care for them like a mother would - to be with their father. It's the last one that has you emotionally devastated - you have their approval.

You've been with Namjoon for months now - but part of you always worried whether the boys only accepted you because you were intertwined heavily in their lives - or maybe they'd just grown comfortable with you. But today proved that they wanted you in their lives - enough that they trusted you to nurture and love them as a mother would - as their mother should have. Choking down another sob, you submerge yourself further in the bath - letting the water envelope you in its warmth.

"Love?" Namjoon's voice breaks through the silence. Sitting up, you turn your head - only to come face to face with your boyfriend. Concern shines in his warm brown eyes, Namjoon looking at you in a mixture of tenderness and worry. His eyes trail over your slightly puffy eyes and swollen face, a frown marring his face at the clear signs of what he thinks is distress. "What's wrong, Angel?" he asks, his voice incredibly soft and gentle. Shaking your head, you sink further into the bath, your throat constricting.

Guilt gnaws at your belly - you don't deserve his concern, and you certainly don't deserve his sons' trust - not when you'd almost walked out on them. Of course, that stemmed more from your fear of commitment than them. You were just afraid to be hurt again. Afraid to let someone in and have them utterly break the trust you put in them. Maybe Dojae was right - maybe you do ruin your own relationships. As soon as the voice of your ex echoes in your head, you shake it off. No - he's wrong. No matter what he said - you didn't ruin your relationship. He did. You had loved him - and were willing to give up almost everything for him. Everything except your dream to become a vet. Something he hadn't appreciated very much.

Sometimes, you wonder why you stayed with him for as long as you did. Though, you figure it was youthful stupidity. Dojae had been your boyfriend since high school and things were fine during then. But all that changed in university. The two of you had always loved science and biology - and though you'd always wanted to be a veterinarian, he'd somehow convinced you to apply for medical school - just so you could be with him; and in your foolish youth, convinced you were in love with him - you'd agreed. But that first year had been completely miserable - and you'd never hated anything more. Nonetheless, you'd put up with it for an entire year. Until you couldn't anymore.

After your first year, you'd transferred to veterinarian school. It was still fairly close to Dojae's medical school - but you could no longer spend as much time together. And then, things had changed. You'd given him everything - your first kiss, your first relationship, your first time. Hell, you even gave him one miserable year of medical school - just to make him happy. But it hadn't been enough. No, despite how much you loved him, how much you were willing to put up with for him, it just hadn't been enough. And he'd gone looking for more with someone else - in someone else's bed.

You'd seen the signs at first - when he'd come to you smelling like a different perfume, or when the settings for his passenger seat had changed - even though they'd been adjusted specifically for you. You'd seen it when he'd message you hours later, and when he did it was only about when you'd be able to come over because he missed you - and by that he meant in his bed. However, each time, he'd made an excuse and not wanting to believe it, you'd believed them. You'd believed him when he said the perfume was from his lab partner, or that he'd dropped a friend off and that's why the settings were changed. You believed it when he said he messaged late because he was busy studying - or that he just missed you so much he had to have you. But they'd all been lies.

Lie after lie, he'd fed you his deceitful excuses - and like an idiot you'd believed them all. But that doesn't mean it's your fault. No - it's not. You gave him everything - and all he did was take, take and take - and demand more. You were simply trying to finish your degree - it's not your fault you couldn't drop everything just to give his cock some attention - and it's definitely not your fault that he started fucking your roommate just because you were busy studying for your numerous tests and exams. No matter how much he tried to blame it on you; no matter how much he tried to say you're the one who pushed him away. It's not your fault.

"Angel? Where are you right now?" Namjoon asks gently. Drawn out of your bitter reverie, you blink in surprise when you feel him behind you, his lips gently caressing your naked shoulder. Somehow, while you'd been lost in your own world, Namjoon has stripped and gotten into the bath with you. Not only that, but you'd been so deep in your thoughts, you hadn't even noticed that Namjoon had shifted your position. Now, you find yourself laying against his hard chest, the soft of his belly pressed against your lower back as his thick thighs cage in your body.

When you fall against his back, your shoulders noticeably deflating, Namjoon frowns. "Angel?" he prods, nudging you lightly with his nose.

You take in a deep breath, "I was thinking about Dojae," you mutter under your breath. Namjoon stills behind you, a frown marring his face. Then, he wraps his strong arms around you, pulling you flush against his chest. Head lolling behind, you rest it on his collarbone and take in a deep breath: drinking in his scent of sandalwood and vanilla.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asks gently. His voice is soothing, not a single ounce of judgement in them, and you know that if you did want to talk about it, Namjoon would simply listen. But you don't want to talk about it - a sentiment you express to him. Humming softly, "do you want to tell me why you're thinking about him?" he asks.

Biting your lip, "they asked me to be their mother," you whisper. You feel him stiffen behind you, his shoulders tensing below your head as he grows quiet. The two of you stew in silence, Namjoon waiting for you to elaborate while you gnaw on your lower lip. Eventually, you take another deep breath, "I wasn't expecting it - and they asked so sweetly - but I feel so guilty because I almost left - and they didn't deserve that. But then I thought about why I left and..." you blurt out, your words rushing out one after another.

The air thickens with trepidation, and you feel Namjoon suck in a sharp breath, "do you... do you want to leave again? Is that why?" he asks - a mixture of hesitation and fear evident in his voice. Face crumpling, you quickly shake your head, sinking further into his embrace. Feeling your head move, Namjoon relaxes - the uneasy tension dissipating.

"I don't want to leave. I... would it be so wrong of me to say I want to be there for them? That I want to be their mother - that I desperately want to be with them and you for the rest of my life? That I hate Dojae - and I wish I never met him? That I wish I met you instead - that I wish I met you earlier?" you ask, your voice low and full of uncertainty.

"No," comes Namjoon's immediate answer. Twisting in his arms in the slightly, you finally turn your head to look at him, your eyebrows furrowed as you frown. "It's not wrong for you to say that. Sometimes... sometimes I wonder what life would be like if I never met Jihee - if I'd met you earlier; if you were my children's mother. I imagine it all the time too, wonder all the time," Namjoon confesses. Your heart clinches in your heart - the distance in his eyes all too familiar, as well as the slight tinge of pain in his eyes as he thinks about his ex. However, as soon as it comes, it fades away and Namjoon inclines his head down to you, a soft smile on his lips. "But none of that matters. Because we found each other anyway, and we're here now," Namjoon finishes. He moves his hand, entwining your fingers together. Then, bringing it up to his lips, he presses tender kisses to each of your fingertips.

"You're right, we're here now," you echo, your voice just above a whisper. Namjoon smiles brighter before he bends and places a gentle kiss to your temple. After that, the two of you sit in silence, simply basking in each other's presence. Lazily, Namjoon's fingers dance along your skin, lightly tracing circles over your kneecap as you sit in the bath.

Eventually, you break the silence once again, "forever sounds nice," you chuckle lightly - trying to lighten the mood. Namjoon's own soft laugh fills the quiet bathroom, and immediately he's dropping his head to pepper kisses along the length of your shoulder.

a/n: owo did we ENJOY IT HUH? i hope so ᵘʷᵘ because i KNOW I DID IM SO FUCKING SOFT I MISSED HIM I MISSED BY BOYS I MISSED DAD JOON WAH WHY DID I STOP WRITING THIS WTF

Kofi | Masterlist

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madlilsongbird · 3 years

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Watching The Amazing Spidernan movies so that I’m all caught up before No Way Home. Will add my thoughts as I have them. Note I am not some big Spider-Man fan nor have I read the comics so if my thoughts sound kinda stupid they probably are.

First movie:

That’s a good trick with the broom. Making a mental note as we speak.

Actually seeing Peter say goodbye to his parents is horrible and I would like to never experience it again

SALLY FIELD IS AUNT MAY?! Why does this one have the good cast? (not good as in better but good as in more well known)

The sexual tension in “good morning flash…good morning Peter” (this is a joke I’m not shipping him with his bully)

Jesus roid rage much?

Shut your blinds! I don’t know who would be looking in your window at this exact moment but close them anyway!

First careful, you never know who is watching what you search (when did I become this person)

Second…curt connors is ableist.

Poor Rodrigo Guevara

Oh internalised ableism. And that is the only comment I will make going forward because my disabilities do not include limb difference and I dont want to overstep.

Stop following the man, you are not subtle…wait wtf how’d he do that?!

This is where he gets his powers right?

Okay but when would 5 men make that much of a fuss over a woman that only 1 of them seems to know?

Same. (This is in reference to smashing the alarm clock)

Oh my god is it really necessary to show all the different kinds of spider bites.

Actually just going back to the internalised ableism thing…he is allowed to feel whatever type of way about his own disability that is his right. But insinuating that all disabled people are weak and wanting to breed out the weakness is eugenics and just kinda gross. THIS is the final comment I will make on the matter.

No but seriously he is way more aggressive than regular teen boy aggressive so either he’s on something or he’s overcompensating for something

The way he looks at him doe (again all jokes am not shipping flash and Peter)

Why is this so awkward? And not like teens navigating a crush awkward just genuinely awkward. I feel no chemistry between them.

I like the song, it’s an interesting choice for this scene but I like it.

Stop does uncle Ben die now? Like I know uncle Ben dies at some point but I was really kinda hoping he just wouldn’t in this iteration. I was going for a ninth doctor moment “just this once everybody lives”

MOTHERFUCKER

God Sally is incredible

Don’t show me moments of Flash being human I might accidentally start shipping them for real and that simply can’t happen.

Oooh he’s a fashion designer

I just really enjoy how he takes the piss out of his victims? Arrests?

Is Gwen aware that the school nurse can’t cure everything? Both legally and just like generally doesn’t have the knowledge to cure everything. She suggests going to the nurse a lot.

This family gives me bad vibes

This is a long movie…it’s not even half way through

Well that’s one way to tell her

NOT GEORGE FOYET!

I think with what I remember of SpiderTobey and what I know of SpiderTom, Andrews Spider-Man is definitely better with the people he’s rescuing. Smoother, good bedside manner.

His sons name is Jack. Why does that make me angry?

So he’s just not gonna rescue the other people hanging off the bridge?

It’s almost poetic that the son of the man tried to stop him the first time will be the one to stop him now

Now how is he getting enough power in the sewer

No means no Peter

Does she die in this one or the next one? I don’t imagine her dying will help captain stacey see him as a good guy

Stan 🥺

This movie is exhausting and I don’t know if I mean that in a good way or a bad way.

MoThEr HuBbArD aRe YoU sErIoUs

He managed to get three whole words out and you didn’t think to ease up on the trigger a little to hear what those words might be?

She’s very clever and I will be sad to see her go

That wasn’t her scream. Or it was but from a different take.

Foyet about to be coming in clutch

I’m going to cry.

He’s so ugly. Some lizards are really cute but lizard + human, kinda gross looking.

Well shit. I didn’t know that happened. I guess what I said about him being upset with Peter about Gwen is irrelevant. Unless it isn’t, like if you believe in the afterlife, imagine how pissed he’s gonna be when Gwen arrives.

He finally got the eggs 🥺

As someone who’s boyfriend at the time didn’t go to her fathers funeral I feel ya Gwen. I mean I don’t care now but at the time it sucked.

Dr Connors was just in a silly goofy mood. He seems to show genuine care for the boy (this is mostly sarcasm).

Second movie

Oh we’re going back to peters dad.

How do they have access to a private jet?

Miss Honey is badass

Ngl I’m actually quite relieved they both died before the plane crashed. Stil devastating though.

Okay so this is first up on the list of potential mystery villains in No Way Home…he looks like a tool.

HeLLo PeDeStRiAnS

He really just let Spider-Man put his hand on his tongue. Sir do you know where his hand has been? Not to mention just in general the feeling of spandex on your tongue. I feel ill.

No respect for the proper care of plutonium.

Please don’t ever say “come to daddy” again 😂

I’m kinda sad Jamie Fox becomes a villain, his character seems kinda sweet so far from the 2 seconds I’ve seen of him

You mean to tell me he missed his girlfriend’s fathers funeral AND her valedictorian speech?!

Stan x2 🥺

Because you can’t lose me you’re going to lose me? 😂

I love her jacket

Why are they still pretending like she doesn’t know?

I may have spoken to soon about Max

See I would be speeding up daddy’s death if he told me he’d passed down a genetic disease and just decided not to tell me.

Friendship.

Okay max is still a little bit nutty but you gotta feel bad for the guy. He must’ve been so scared.

Don’t smile that’s not cute, if he was a regular boy you’d file a restraining order.

Oh I see Spider-Man is gonna fight him which will make him turn and become the “bad guy” whether he will actually be a bad guy is still unknown.

This scene is actually kinda just making me angry (the time square scene)

Cops suck man. Peter was talking him down just fine.

Did nobody teach these people not to touch metal when there’s electricity about.

Interesting that I didn’t pick up any chemistry from them in the first movie weren’t they an actual couple for a while?

Another good song with an interesting placement

I’m sorry did the caller ID not say Mary Parker? How was it Harry on the phone?

Run Gwen!

This version of Harry is kinda creepy I’m sure the actor is swell but the character is terrifying. Original version Harry was swell whereas the actor is…

“Maybe everyone has a part of themselves they hide” gives him the eye

This movies shorter or at least it feels shorter

An excellent show of what happens when you tell a rich daddy’s boy no for the first time.

This makes me very sad. She’s so excited for the possibility of Oxford.

As much as Harry disturbs me, I want him to burn his entire team.

His daddy really did love him!

I think it’s mostly his eyes, his behaviour can be explained by trauma (why I find Harry creepy)

Okay most of his behaviour. The taking joy in killing people that’s just him being nutty and not a trauma response.

This is fucked up. And where is Peter? he is off chasing a girl who has broken up with him twice now.

PLANES NEED THE POWER!

I really like SpiderAndrew, the movies are fine but as a character I thoroughly enjoy him

Sorcerers apprentice who?

Captain Stacy can’t blame him! She’s clearly stubborn as hell and her own free woman

I quite literally stopped breathing (in reference to the almost plane crash)

Is this why they made it Gwen and not MJ so that he could kill her and be an actual bad guy? From my little knowledge of the comics and what I’ve seen from the movies Harry would never hurt MJ so it had to be someone else important to Peter but not super important to him for him to a real bad guy

I like that Harry actually looks like a goblin.

What was the disease he’s supposed to have?

This poor family. I know I said they gave me bad vibes in the first movie but nobody deserves this.

He looks less like a tool with his suit on…but only slightly less

Baby you better get back behind that baracade!

Nobody talk to me I’m very emotional. This child looks very much like a magical mix of all 3 of my brothers put together and seeing him stand there so brave but so scared is doing something to me.

Final thoughts:

So I think SpiderAndrew might be a close second favourite for me. I like the relationships of the original the most, the comedy of the mcu version the most but this one was like a nice in between. Im a little disappointed there won’t be a third not cos I think I would have enjoyed it just cos the original had 3 movies, the mcu version will have at least 3 movies and this one is left out with 2. Don’t think I would have loved Shailene Woodley as MJ though so I dunno. I think the only thing I would have wanted from a third movie is to know who fedora guy is…and for Peter and May to acknowledge that they both know that he is Spider-Man. Apart from that it was fine and I now feel fully prepared for No Way Home.

#the amazing spider man #the amazing spider man 2 #the amazing Spider-Man #the amazing Spider-Man 2 #the amazing spider man spoilers #andrew garfield #emma stone #sally field #criminal minds #george foyet #spider man no way home

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bunnyywritings · 4 years

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perfection

dabi x fem!reader

[a/n: I’m gonna be honest, I’ve been feeling super crappy lately. I’ve just been insecure about my body, my mental health has gotten somewhat worse and I’ve just been wanting to sleep and stay in bed 24/7 so I decided to write something with one of my comfort characters, I know having Dabi as a comfort character may seem weird but it was between him, tsukishima, kuroo, shoji, and shoto and I haven’t written for a villain yet so...yeah, enjoy- yours truly, bunnyy ps. sorry that was really personal lol ]

Being part of the LOV was a weird existence. Sure sometimes you’d wreak havoc for no reason but that came with a stern talking to from Shigaraki so it didn’t happen often. It usually just came down to planned attacks and whatnot. There were times where you all did ABSOLUTELY nothing. It varied from time to time.

The most recent ‘villainous activity’ you guys had done as a group was rob some bank because you were all short on money and that just seemed like the logical way to solve the problem, the bank had insurance...they’d be fine. It was a simple job, especially with Kurogiri’s quirk. Just a quick in and out. It was the first time in months that you’d been back at the LOV headquarters, which meant that you finally had your own room and it’s not that you minded sharing a room with Toga but you just needed your own space sometimes.

Lately, you had been feeling pretty down about yourself. You had a small slip up a mission or two ago but it seemed to be something you were constantly reminded of. Whether it was Shiggy passive aggressively telling you to ‘not screw up this time,’ or just being betrayed by your own brain when it brought up the memory at 2am and you spent the entire night and into the early morning just thinking about what you could’ve done better. It had been one of those nights so you had stayed in bed till 5pm. You weren’t sleeping though, you were just in bed drifting in and out of a sleep like state. You had gathered enough strength to shower and throw on a pair of sleep shorts and one of Dabi’s shirts.

As you walked out of the room, you caught a glimpse of yourself in the mirror and walked back to it. Frown creasing your forehead as you examined yourself. Looking at the way your lower stomach had bulged out a bit despite not having eaten an actual meal in a while or how ugly your thighs looked in shorts. The battle scars that littered the skin, as well as stretch marks and a bit of cellulite. Heaving a sigh, you ran a hand down your face and changed into some sweat pants before finally heading to the bar. Dabi was sat on a bar stool while nursing a glass of whiskey.

“Hey Giri, you have any food hidden back there?” You asked quietly as Dabi wrapped an arm around your waist and pulled you into his side.

“I think I can whip you up some onigiri, how’s that?”

“Sounds great, thanks.” You smiled gratefully.

“I haven’t seen you all day baby.” His deep voice was comforting as his thumb rubbed circles into your hip.

“ ‘s cause I just got out of bed.” Your voice came out slightly slurred with fatigue.

“(Y/n), you look different? Did you gain weight?” The question made your eyes widen and turn to Twice, he was standing beside Toga. There was a somewhat thick silence before he realized. “Oh I’m so sorry! I don’t know why I said that?!” Panic clear in his voice. Now usually something like this wouldn’t have really bothered you since it was normal for Twice to say something out of pocket like that but today just wasn’t the day.

“Nevermind Giri, I think I’ll pass...sorry.” Your voice was quiet and cracking as you patted the bar top as Kurogiri had returned with the food you’d asked for and peeled yourself out of Dabi’s hold before trudging back to your room.

“You idiot! Why would you say that?! You know (y/n) is self conscious about things like that!” Toga scolded as she smacked Twice upside the head. Dabi had shook his head and grabbed the plate from where it was abandoned, reaching over into the cooler and grabbing two bottles of water.

“Thanks Kurogiri.” He muttered before he walked the familiar path to your room.

His heart broke as soon as he entered and heard your crying being muffled by your pillow. Setting his things down and locking the door, he knelt down by the head of the bed.

“What’s wrong, baby doll?” The quiet rumble of his voice and the feeling of a gentle hand brushing your hair back did absolutely nothing to quell your tears. He waited patiently, hand continuing to run through your hair. Once he heard your cries were starting to reduce to small sniffles, he got up and sat on the edge of the bed. His heart constricting painfully as he watched you hesitantly pull your face from the pillow and quickly wipe your tears with the back of your hand.

“What’s gotten my pretty baby so upset? Hmm?” He knew that it wasn’t necessarily Twice that was making you feel like this.

“Why are you with me, Dabi?” Your broken voice came out as a whisper.

“I’m with you because I love you, (y/n). You make me feel like no one or no thing ever has.” He responded without missing a beat.

“But I’m gross. I have these disgusting marks everywhere on my body, I’m not pretty...at all, I have issues and I’m just a horrible villain.” This caused him to chuckle a bit, which earned him a deadly glare from you.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry I-I thought you were joking.” He ran a hand through his hair. “Come here.” He patted his lap. “Come on.” He urged. You slowly crawled over to him and hovered over his lap but he wasn’t having it. He gripped your waist and pulled you down onto him. “I’m sorry I laughed, okay? I really thought you were joking.” He swept a strand of hair behind your ear. He studied your conflicted features as you avoided his gaze, choosing to stare down at your lap.

“You wanna know what I think?” He asked as he tucked your chin in between his forefinger and thumb, tilting your head back to look at him. “I don’t care about any of that.” You bit your lip. “I mean, you’ve seen me. All of me. I have these nasty scars and staples all over my body. I have severe daddy and mommy issues. I still don’t have complete control of myself and I’m also a horrible villain. You think I have any right to judge anyone else?”

You had opened your mouth to argue but he cut you off, lips engulfing yours in a hungry kiss. You melted into it, the combination of his rough bottom lip and softness of his top one was dizzying as you reciprocated with the same hunger. He ran his hands down your sides, running his hands up and down your thighs.

“I love your thighs. I love how soft they are, how they feel when they’re wrapped around my head when I’m down in between them.” His blunt confession causing your cheeks to flush a deep crimson. “I love your tummy. I love how it feels against my scars when I wrap my arms around you.” He cupped your warm cheeks and placed a kiss on your forehead. “I love your mind. No matter how messed up you think you are, it’s beautiful. I love how whenever you and Kurogiri come up with a plan, you always make sure everyone is in a position where they’ll be safe if something goes wrong.” He pecked your lips three times. “I especially love that evil grin you get whenever you get excited while on a mission or the downright sinful look in your eyes whenever you get what you want.” His voice was filled with lust as he muttered the last part against your lips. You had tears slipping down your cheeks, ones that he instantly kissed away.

He pulled back to get a good look at you. “You know what I see when I look at you, baby doll? I see perfection. Nothing you say or do can change that for me because you’re stuck with me.” He smirked.

“I think I like the sound of that.” You wrapped your arms around him and cuddled into the crook of his neck. “Thank you Dabi.” You pressed kisses against the scarred skin of his collar.

“Anytime baby. You know I love you, right? You can lean on me whenever life gets rough. You’re never alone.” You ran your hands up his neck and into his hair as you sat up and looked him in those beautiful sapphire blue eyes. The eyes that you often got lost in. The ones that bring you comfort.

“I know.” He rested his forehead against yours as you spoke. “I love you too.”

It was a strange existence but it was never a lonely one.

#dabi x reader #lov x reader #mha x reader #bnha x reader #comfort #ugh i wish he was real #he could burn me alive and i'd thank him #but I feel like he'd give good hugs though #he's really soft here

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kpopfanfictrash · 5 years

Text

Keeping a Secret (M)

Author: kpopfanfictrash

Pairing: Hoseok / Reader

Rating: 18+

Warnings: oral (male), Hoseok calls the reader princess, dirty talk, blow job kind of over boxers?, semi-rough sex

Genre: New Relationship!AU

Synopsis: You and Hoseok have been hooking up for a few weeks now. No one in your friend group knows. What happens then, when he shows up at movie night looking better than anticipated?

Word Count: 3,743

[ cross-posted to Wattpad here ]

It has been three weeks, two days and twenty hours (give or take) since Jung Hoseok first kissed you.

If you were classifying moments, you would not call it a romantic gesture. You were in the middle of a long speech about climate change and how the world was sinking into the sea, the ice caps were melting and soon enough, there would only be brown-fur polar bears because their white fur would be all muddied and gross.

That was when Jung Hoseok turned on the couch, said, “Screw it,” and kissed you. Hard. When he finally broke for air several seconds later, he blurted, “I needed to shut you up somehow. Also, apparently the world is ending, so why not?”

You stared at him for a moment before shrugging. “Good enough for me.”

Then, you kissed him again.

You did not have sex that night, but you did the night after. And after that, and after that, and – well, you get the picture. Except for tonight, of course. Tonight is movie night with all your friends, and you are seated purposefully on one couch and Hoseok, across the room on the other.

None of your friends know that you two are hooking up. None of them know, because there is nothing to tell. You and Hoseok have been friends for so long, you did not really plan the hook-up, so much as you slipped into it. Once you were there, you did not want to scare it away by giving it a label.

It is not as though your friends would be opposed to you dating – exactly the opposite. They would make a big deal, put you two under a microscope and right now, you are trying to figure this out for yourselves. Time alone is warranted.

Crossing both arms over your chest, you glance at Hoseok, then the TV. Then back to him. Shoving your toes into the carpet, you exhale though your nostrils and try not to look pissed.

He just looks so fucking good tonight.

I mean, on most nights he looks amazing. That is what you first noticed about him, after all. When you first met, Hoseok was just Jimin’s friend from back home. Jimin was Taehyung’s roommate at the time, who was dating your roommate, Olivia. You began to hang out and after a while, Hoseok became a staple. You knew him for his outfits at first, more than anything else. He always wore loud patterns paired with the most hideous sneakers you have ever seen.

But then you noticed other things about him. The adorable slope of his nose when he turned. The way he ruffled his hair when he was happy. Or upset. The way he took care of Jimin freshman year when he got super homesick, taking him under his wing in the simplest of ways.

You saw all this and slowly but surely, a massive crush developed on Jung Hoseok. That was all, though – a crush. You thought you could handle it. Indeed, you were handling it. Until he kissed you and everything went to hell.

Lacing your hands in your lap, you discourage their wandering anywhere else. True, Hoseok is sitting across the room but that is no guarantee of good behavior. Hoseok decided to wear his black hoodie tonight. He also decided to style his hair, dark and tousled away from his face. You scowl in his direction, thoroughly put out.

Hoseok stares at the TV, blue light flickering over his features. Beside him sits Jimin, chatting quietly with Jungkook on the floor. Namjoon at the back of the room, thoroughly engrossed in the events of the movie. On his other side is Yoongi, ensconced in the lone armchair. Ari and Seokjin are with you on the couch, with Olivia firmly locked in Taehyung’s embrace on the floor.

As though able to sense the pull of your gaze, Hoseok looks up.

He stares for only a moment, eyes narrowed before he glances back down. His fingers wrap around his cell phone, typing something in and a second later, your own buzzes to life. Seokjin shifts beside you and, careful not to disturb him, you unlock the text.

Hoseok: stop staring at me [10:08 PM]

Y/N: maybe if you didn’t look like that, I wouldn’t have to stare [10:08 PM]

Hoseok: didn’t look like what [10:09 PM]

Y/N: I mean, have you always been this goddamn hot? [10:09 PM]

Y/N: can’t look at you without wanting your dick in my mouth [10:10 PM]

Glancing up, you watch him as he reads. Hoseok inhales, typing quickly and your phone vibrates with a response.

Hoseok: holy fuck y/n [10:11 PM]

Your lips curl into a smile.

Y/N: have I told you how much I like your cock [10:12 PM]

Y/N: so much [10:12 PM]

Y/N: it’s the perfect size [10:12 PM]

Y/N: enough to make me choke [10:13 PM]

Y/N: hits so deep [10:13 PM]

Y/N: tastes so good when you cum down my throat [10:14 PM]

Continuing to smile, you glance up to watch Hoseok read. Frowning, you realize the couch across from you is empty. Only Jimin sits on the sofa. As soon as you think this, your phone buzzes again. Glancing down, you see no words on the screen. Only the sender.

Hoseok.

Slowly, you swipe to unlock.

“Fuck,” you mutter, under your breath.

“What?” Seokjin does not look away from the screen.

Hurriedly, you tilt your phone away. “Uh, nothing.” Twisting on the couch, you glance at the image again.

Fuck, is right. Hoseok must be in the bathroom. That much is obvious by the neat rows of Taehyung’s face products behind him. That is not the most defining part of the picture, though. The most defining part is Hoseok’s lower half, one hand lewdly grasping his package. The image makes you swallow, throat suddenly dry.

His underwear is still on – grey boxer-briefs you bought with him in Target one lazy summer afternoon. You were with him then and okay, maybe you imagined him wearing them. Maybe you thought once or twice about him over the course of your friendship.

Glancing once more at the photo, you nearly groan out loud. Hoseok’s hands are veiny, gripping his length over the material of his boxers. He is semi-hard, that much is obvious. Realizing he wants you makes your legs clench together. Honestly, that is a turn-on in itself. No other guy has been quite as vocal with you about his desires before.

Abruptly, you stand. “Have to pee,” you inform Seokjin.

He makes a face. “Alright,” he mumbles. “Go off, I guess.”

Turning around, you dart from the living room. Taehyung’s kitchen is dark, every light turned off to better enjoy the movie. His bathroom is down the hall, just before his bedroom. You pause outside the door when – it opens fast, a hand reaching out to seize your arm.

“Hey,” Hoseok grins, pulling you in and shutting the door.

You are disappointed to find he is fully dressed. The evidence of the photo is still present, though. His shirt is untucked, belt buckled over unzippered jeans. The dark strands of his hair are a mess, as though he pushed his hands through it several times.

Your heart stutters at the endearing image. “That was some photo,” you grin.

Hoseok shakes his head. “No time,” he demands, shoving you against the door.

You inhale, hands winding greedily about his neck when he kisses you. Moving against you, Hoseok’s frame molds to yours. His knee pushes between your thighs, providing much-needed friction. His hands – expert in everything – deftly slide to undo your bra. Once this is accomplished, Hoseok yanks up your shirt and cups your breasts with both hands.

“Fuck,” he mutters into your lips.

Deftly, his thumbs trace your nipples. Whimpering, you clamp your thighs around Hoseok’s. He pulls back, smirking when his thumbs start to flick. He knows how sensitive you are and will use this to his advantage. Honestly, you could probably come like this but not here. Not now, when time is of the essence.

Lifting a hand to your cheek, Hoseok’s thumb strokes your lips until you open.

“Suck,” he commands, voice low.

You obey, lips closing around him to headily suck. Teasing him with your tongue, you drag this up the underside like you would his cock. Hoseok’s gaze hardens, breath hitching; he squeezes your breast roughly before he releases.

“You wanna suck me off, is that it?”

He asks you this calmly, taking a step backwards. There is not much room in the bathroom, so his legs nearly hit the edge of the tub. Nodding eagerly, you already miss the feel of his thigh on your heat.

Hoseok arches a brow, beginning to unbuckle his belt. “Well, princess?”

Nodding, you step forward and lower yourself to your knees. The linoleum is hard, biting but you find that you like it.

“Yes, Hobi.”

He smirks, a teasing glint to his eyes. Even when serious, Hoseok maintains this demeanor. Even when tying you up on the bed and fucking you senseless, there is always this humor beyond a hardened exterior. You have complete confidence that, should you at any point wish to stop, Hoseok will oblige. No questions asked. He only gets off on something if you do, too.

Staring at him, you lick your lips.

Shoving his pants past his ass, Hoseok exposes the grey of his boxers. He is more than semi-hard, you note with some longing. Shuffling forward, you reach for his cock.

Hoseok slowly shakes a finger. “Nuh-uh,” he teases. “Not yet.”

Pouting, your hands fall to your sides.

“Over the boxers, first.”

Heart thudding, you slowly nod and move closer. Continuing to make eye contact, you bend and smooth your hands around his hips. Pulling the fabric taut, you see the clear outline of his cock. Without breaking your gaze, you lick a trail up the side. Hoseok exhales through his nose when you begin mouthing his dick, leaving wet imprints on the grey of his boxers.

One of your hands cups his balls, massaging gently while you suck on the tip. Before you know it, Hoseok is shoving his boxers down to his knees.

“Fuck,” he says, grasping your hair. “I need your mouth now, princess.”

You nod, barely having a choice in the matter when he guides his cock to your lips. Sitting back on your heels, you let the weight of his cock fall on your tongue. You relish in that for a moment – the salty taste of his pre-cum, the velvet smoothness of his length before you close your lips around him and suck. Hard.

Swearing, Hoseok’s hips jolt forward and you do not stop. Sucking harder, you trail your tongue up his frenulum before pulling back. Hoseok continues to hold you like that, thrusting his hips and using your body. For a few seconds, it is like that – hot and messy while he fucks into your mouth.

You like it like this, though. You like to watch hair fall into his gaze, darkened with lust while his thrusts become increasingly sloppy. You like to grip his thighs tightly, feeling the moment when he tenses for release. When you choke on his cock, spit dribbling out, Hoseok groans and pulls back.

“Baby,” he coos, wiping this with a finger. Pulling you up from the floor, he cradles your ass with both hands. “Princess, you’re so good to me. You know that?”

Nodding, you smirk because yes, you do know. Having known Hoseok for so long, you know exactly what he likes and exactly how to do it. The benefit of being friends first is you heard his hook-up stories first-hand. So-and-so did not know he has a ticklish collarbone. Another girl never once touched his balls, and Hoseok loves when girls do that.

With these tidbits of knowledge, you are well-equipped to ensure Hoseok turns ravenous. It is with absolute certainty you can say that only Hoseok has made you come half as hard. No one has ever tried half as hard either, but that is an entirely different matter.

Spinning you around to face the mirror, Hoseok rests your hands on the sink. “I have a condom,” he says, kissing your shoulder. “Is that good?”

You nod, staring at your reflection. Hair falls about your face, breathing ragged, and shirt pushed past your breasts. Hoseok fishes a condom from his jeans, standing up to undo the package. Rubber snaps against skin and then Hoseok’s length is there, pressed to your ass. Hand sliding over your hip, he locates your zipper.

“Your jeans need to go,” he says, low as he drags them down to your knees. “No time for more, I’m afraid.”

“Okay.” You close your eyes when you feel Hoseok’s hand at you core. Sliding up and down the center of your panties, he feels your wetness. “Hobi,” you whine.

“I’m sorry,” he chuckles, rubbing your clit. You mewl in response. “You’re just so wet, princess. All that from sucking my cock?”

“Before.” You groan when he pulls on your panties. “Been this wet since I saw you.”

Teasing your folds, Hoseok pushes your panties aside, re-gripping his cock. You whimper, bent to the counter and clenching hard around nothing.

“Come on, baby,” you moan, pushing backwards. “Fill me up. Please – please, Hobi. I need to feel you inside me. Need your cock in my pussy.”

“Fu-ck,” Hoseok mutters, sounding tortured.

Barely half a second passes before he thrusts forward, sheathing himself in your pussy.

“Fuck!” you gasp, knees hitting the counter.

Hoseok clasps a hand over your mouth, staring at you wide-eyed in the mirror. You both are quiet for a moment, listening to see if anyone heard. Nothing happens though and eventually, he brushes a thumb over your lips.

“Gotta be quiet, princess.” Hoseok murmurs.

“I know,” you say, shutting your eyes. His hot, throbbing cock is still inside you and honestly, you cannot think of anything else. “I just…”

“I know,” Hoseok whispers, withdrawing.

You whimper, hand reaching out to grab onto his hips but then he thrusts back in, making your hips smack to the counter.

“Oh!” you groan, eyes flying open.

Grasping the sink, you stare at him, dazed when he pulls out again. Hoseok sinks into you slowly, making you feel every inch. It makes your legs wobble, feet sliding apart to get him even deeper. Hoseok’s hand grabs your hips, pulling them backwards and with the other, he forces your chest down.

“Take it like that,” he murmurs, turning your head to rest on the sink. “Stick your ass up a bit more.”

“Ah,” you moan when you obey, feeling him slide even deeper.

“That’s it, princess,” Hoseok purrs, playing with your tits as his hands slide up your body. “Now, do you want me to go harder?”

Staring at the wall, you eagerly nod.

Hoseok tsks beneath his breath, hands traveling back down your body. “Are you sure you can keep quiet, though?”

“Yes,” you exhale.

“You sure you can take it?”

“Yes.”

“Are you sure…” Hoseok thrusts his hips forward. “Sure this cute little pussy can take being fucked like I wanna?”

“Yes,” you whine, pushing backwards. “Please, Hobi – please.”

“Alright.” He chuckles, grasping your hips. “Then, take it.”

Rearing back, Hoseok slams into you with enough force that you swear. Barely, do you have the chance to recover before he does it again – hitting so deep, you feel the need to bite down on your lip in order to keep you from screaming. The entire bathroom is full of the rough sounds of his cock entering your pussy and fuck, do you love it. It sounds so sinful, echoing off Taehyung’s tile walls.

Hoseok fucks you fast, hard in a way that you can only lie there and take it. His hips pound your ass, hard enough to bruise and you hope that they do. You hope he leaves a mark, so that each time you sit down this week, you remember just how well he fucked you.

“Fuck, princess,” Hoseok grunts. “You’re so wet.”

He is not wrong – you can feel your arousal on the inside of your thighs, dripping into your folds and making your clit extra tender. As soon as you think this, Hoseok lets go of your waist to slide a hand between your legs.

“Fuck,” you moan, head thrown back as he teases your mound.

“That’s it,” Hoseok exhales, over your shoulder. He stares at you in the mirror. “Look how fucked out you are. All needy, split by my cock. Wanna cum on my dick?”

“Mmm,” you agree as he begins circling your clit. Instantly, your walls tighten around him. It is embarrassing, how readily your body responds to his commands. Already, you can feel the pulse of blood in your ears, the pleasure reaching a fever-pitch and needing release.

“That’s it,” Hoseok murmurs. He presses a kiss to your cheek in an almost-sweet gesture. Meanwhile, his cock continues hammering your pussy. “Come for me.”

You do – breaking apart, sobbing his name as you grip onto the counter. Everything shakes, vision blurred while your orgasm rips through you. Hoseok continues to thrust, pushing you through pleasure until it borders on pain. When you look up at him in the mirror, he gasps out your name.

“Y/N,” he blurts, sounding tortured. “I wanna come on your ass.”

“Do it,” you agree, wriggling the feature. “Hobi, do it.”

“Alright,” he gasps.

Immediately, Hoseok pulls out. Yanking off his condom, he pumps himself into one fist. Staring at your cunt, spread and messy before him, it only takes a few strokes before he is coming undone.

“Fuck,” Hoseok groans, hand grabbing yours on the counter. You cannot see but feel when his cum hits your ass. It paints a hot, messy picture dripping in between folds. Drops continue to land while Hoseok rubs himself out.

Head lowering, he gently kisses your neck. Keening into his praise, you smile, catching your breath as he pulls himself upwards.

“Fuck,” Hoseok says, pushing a hand through his hair. His eyes are sparkling, making you laugh.

“What?” you ask.

Hoseok shrugs and steps forward. “You,” he offers, cupping your face with both hands.

When he kisses you, you find yourself getting lost in the moment. There is still cum on your ass and you really need to clean but for now, you want to kiss Hoseok. It seems more important.

Finally, he withdraws and you open your eyes. “You go first,” you say, nodding at the door. Your voice has dropped back to a whisper, as though someone might hear you. “I have to pee.”

Hoseok snorts, reaching down to pull up his pants. Nodding, he sneaks another quick kiss before pushing open the door. Glancing each way down the hall, he slips into the kitchen. Once he is gone, you ready yourself in the bathroom and fully clean and fully clothed, you leave the bathroom as well.

The kitchen lights are still off, dark when you enter the living room. The final scene of the movie plays on the screen – a rising crescendo of music while the main boy and girl realize they like each other. Sneaking a glance at Hoseok, you see him back on his sofa.

Turning around, you plop down beside Seokjin.

Jungkook stirs, speaking up from the floor. “Why don’t you sit next to Hobi?” he asks, shoving more popcorn into his mouth. “I’m sure Jimin would move for you.”

Freezing in place, your gaze darts to Jungkook. Everyone else in the room has frozen as well, looking everywhere except for at you and Hoseok. “I – what?” you squeak. “Why… why would I sit next to Hoseok?”

Jungkook lowers his popcorn, realizing everyone is staring. “I – uh, well…”

“Because you two are fucking,” says Namjoon from the sofa. His gaze is still locked on the screen. “Obviously.”

Olivia lets out a quiet laugh from Taehyung’s arms. “Come on, Y/N. It’s totally obvious.”

“I – what?” you blurt, lowering your face to your palms. “How long has everyone known?”

When you peek out from between fingers, you see Hoseok glaring at Jimin. “You were home the other night, weren’t you?” he states accusatorially. “You said that you weren’t! That you were crashing at Jungkook’s!”

Jimin flashes Hoseok a grin. “Guilty.”

“Oh, no,” you groan, sinking low on the couch. Last weekend, Hoseok assured you Jimin was gone for the night. As a result, the two of you had intense sex on top of his kitchen table. Loudly.

Before you can sink any further, you see Hoseok stand from the couch. He crosses the room, chuckling when his hands wrap around yours. “Come on, Y/N,” he sighs, pulling you upwards to stand. “They’re right. Might as well sit together if everyone knows we’re dating.”

Paused mid-step, you stare at him wide-eyed.

Jungkook’s mouth drops. Namjoon looks up from the movie. Olivia and Taehyung stop talking – even Seokjin reaches out and presses pause on the remote.

“Dating?” Jimin blinks.

Hoseok has an expression on his face you have only seen once. It was when he woke up forty minutes late the day of his Calculus II exam and realized he just might fail the whole class. Slowly, he turns to look at you. His expression is so helpless, you almost want to laugh. The look he gives you is of such whipped, unadulterated adoration that you practically melt.

Closing the distance, you kiss him soft on the lips. “Yeah, dating,” you mumble.

Hoseok smiles, his arms wrapping tighter around you.

Taehyung whoops, breaking the moment. “Wow!” he exclaims when you finally break apart. “We didn’t know you were dating! We just thought you were fucking. Guys!”

“I…” Hoseok exhales, smile tugging at his lips. “Yeah. We’re dating.”

The tentativeness to his words makes you smile. Looking at him, you nod.

“Okay.” Namjoon leans forward, attempting to see the screen. “That’s awesome and all, but can you sit the fuck down? There’s only a few minutes left in this movie and I want to see how it ends.”

“I’ll tell you how it ends,” Hoseok grumbles, throwing up the middle finger as you move towards the couch.

You push this down, climbing into his lap when he sits and threading your hands through his hair. Smiling happily, you kiss the side of his neck. Finally, you have everything you wanted. No more secrets.

#bangtanarmynet #btsbookclub #smutcentralnet #hoseok smut #bts smut #hoseok fanfic #bts fanfic #hoseok writing #bts writing #jhope smut #jhope fanfic #jhope x reader #hoseok x reader

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star-anise · 4 years

Note

Hey! I recently discovered and devoured the Wild Magic series at my local library, and the romance that developed at the end of the series was actually very upsetting to me. Not only was the age gap huge, the power dynamic was one of a student and her mentor, which felt v wrong to me. I read these at a much older then intended age, and I’m curious to get the perspective on this of someone who read them at the “right” age. Was this gross at 10? How do you feel upon reflection?

When I was 10, I thought it was FABULOUS MAGICAL ID CANDY and would have been upset if the series ended any other way.

Now that I’m older? I still understand why the relationship works for these people in this culture, but the age gap is genuinely bad optics and teaches kids some bad lessons, like, “It’s definitely great for teenagers to date people twice their ages!”.

But at the same time, if you gave me the series to rewrite (for example, if anyone wanted to hire me to help create a TV adaptation!), I wouldn’t take Daine and Numair’s romance out, personally; I’d change it to make it more appropriate, both altering their respective ages, giving Daine more development and maturity, than I think you could get away with in 1990s YA, and giving them some time without the student/teacher roles before the romance happens.

Part of why teenagers in our culture are so vulnerable is that there’s an extreme dichotomy between “you are a NAIVE AND INNOCENT CHILDLING you do NOT get to make your own choices” where kids can go right up to 18 having never made any important choices for themselves–not their hobbies, not their studies, not their forms of relaxation, not their friends. They’ve never had a haircut their parents disapproved of, and suddenly they’re shipped off to university with total autonomy. Or, before 18, most kids in most places do not have the right to learn anything more about sex than their parents want them taught; if their parents refuse permission to sex ed in school, they might not know anything about sex. And then they turn 18 and they lose most of the legal protections keeping them safe from predators and it’s open season.

That’s a really bad disconnect. It takes a lot of practice to learn things like “disagreeing with people without completely losing your shit” or “telling someone you love who wants something from you that you don’t want to give it to them” or “telling people vulnerable things about yourself and having that respected”. Those are the fundamental building blocks that make relationships safe, that let you add more reactive chemicals like romance and sex without it all blowing up.

Tortall is in its way this dream of an adolescence where you get to start doing meaningful work right away. In other series, Kel and Alanna chose to pursue knighthood at ten years old, and Neal is like this ~super late entry~ at 14. Pages leave “school” and become squires doing fieldwork at 14, usually. Meanwhile, I knew what I wanted to do when I was 12, and I spent the next twelve years jumping through academic hoops that only vaguely related to that before I could even get close to the kind of work that I wanted to do (and am now doing). I feel like there’s got to be some reasonable middle ground between “Let’s send 14-year-olds into battle!” and “You may begin acting like an adult at age 25″.

A big part of the difference between Daine and actual teenagers is that she’s been functionally treated by everyone in the cast as… if not an adult, then a fully autonomous adolescent who answers for herself. She gets to make all the important decisions about where she lives and what work she does. She’s had authority over fully grown adults since she was like… 13? 14? And all the other adults have completely backed her up in that. The adults around her know she’s young and learning and a little unsteady on her feet, so they provide her education and emotional support and financial resources and social support.

Of course, as a 10 year old, I then thought it totally reasonable that *I* should be able to function as a mini-adult, and that… is not actually realistic, both because I hadn’t had nearly the same enculturation that would prepare me to make those decisions, and everyone else in our society is not really equipped to handle Adolescents With Jobs.

I’ve held back from writing my dissertation on How I Would Change The Immortals (for example, if someone wanted me to adapt it for TV…) right now, because I have some thoughts on what a more accurate and healthy portrayal of teenage development should be.

Because while kids in our world do need protection as they mature, that maturation cannot just be this purity culture “YOU CAN HAVE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ONLY ABOUT SOMEONE WITHIN TWELVE MONTHS OF YOUR OWN AGE” bullshit. Some of the purity police literally say that acknowledging that teens have sexual thoughts is “sexualizing minors”, as if human sexuality literally only springs into being when kids have passed some magical age.

The truth is the absolute opposite: Kids need safe ways of exploring themselves and their sexuality. A complete absence of things like dating people within a few years of themselves or reading a wide variety of stories about relationships, both good and bad, doesn’t generally protect them; it atrophies their ability to make critical judgments and decisions. Kids need to be encouraged to experiment in whatever way is comfortable for them, and then ask themselves questions like, “How does this make me feel? Do I like this? What don’t I like about it? What would I change if I could? Do I want to do more of this, or stop? What else would I rather do instead?”

This could be anything from an aroace teenager reading books about romance and going, “Yeah, that does not at all sound appealing to me” to a teenager having a crush on their teacher and learning how to handle those emotions in a way that makes it easier for them to have a crush on someone who’s actually a dating possibility, to teenagers actually–gasp!–deciding that a certain kind of sex (including a certain emotional connection and physical aspect) sounds really cool and they’d really like to try it if they can find a safe and willing partner. They might even learn about how to do that safely and find someone willing and appropriate and try it out! And that’s a process that should be supported by not having to lie to adults about what they’re doing, and by proper sex education, birth control, and medical care.

And then when you’re an adult, when you have actual mastery and ability to decide between several different viable life paths… you actually can re-negotiate a few relationships. Relationships can go from adult-child to adult-adult. You’re not nearly as vulnerable. And in that place, there are a lot more possibilities open.

#relationship age gap #child abuse tw #csa tw #fandom purity culture #tortall #staranise original #long post

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mycptsdrecovery · 3 years

Note

TW for abuse, mental health crisis, unreality, mental hospital mention

hi im a 19 year old and still living with my parents. ive been trying to move out since august and i planned to move out by december. in late december i was not having much luck with housing and i started having memories of not so great things my parents did to me throughout the years play in my head. i rly have no idea how to explain this confusing clusterfuck of a situation in just a tumblr ask but basically i want to know if the things my parents did count as sexual abuse.

from a young age my parents didnt respect my boundaries. my parents often touched my butt (it sounds so stupid calling it that idk what else to put) in seemingly nonsexual or accidental ways, but they didnt stop as i grew older. i remember the first time that i realised i was being sexually abused (thats how i thought about it at the time, idk). i dont remember what my dad did specifically but i was 8 years old-ish, i started puberty around then because my body hates me. it was probably to do with my butt/waist/ things and my dad touching them. we were about to go in a shuttle to the airport, it was like 2am. i remember i stayed silent through whatever happened but at some point during or after i remember bursting into tears and like... thinking to myself that my dad is sexually abusing me (i dont remember where i learnt what that is) and my dad asking me what was wrong but i refused to talk because i was scared. moments like these where my dad touched me in a way that didnt feel normal and i burst into tears happened multiple times. ive felt very uncomfortable around my dad for most of my life at this point. hes the kind of dad who doesnt talk about anything hes thinking or feeling, doesnt talk much at all or have many friends. we have rarely had conversations past surface level talk thats appropriate for strangers or acquaintances so i have never known whats in his head and whenever ive tried to get him to talk with me about something serious he shuts down and leaves. hes very neglectful emotionally, though he used to sometimes fulfil his emotional duties as a parent when i was a very young child according to my mum but he stopped at some point. for a really long time ive been afraid that my dad was sexualising me in his head or sexually attracted to me. ive grown up having nightmares about my parents raping me.

here are some of the things i remember my parents doing. some memories are not easily accessable and some have not been processed as an adult.

-both my parent regularly touched my butt in a variety of contexts. i never confronted my dad about it because i knew he wouldnt answer me. i have learned to only hug my parents in a specific way so that my arm is always under their arms so i can stop them from putting their hands too low.

-my dad used to put his hand on my waist and hips/lower back. he was basically doing the kind of casual touch that you would do with someone ur in a sexual relationship with. he doesnt anymore because i have stopped allowing him to spend much time with me.

-my parents, mostly my mum have touched my breasts very lightly and casually. it could be seen as accidental but my mum has never responded to my frequent requests to stop touching me like this.

-my mum showed me her vagina once as... sex ed? i have no idea if this is normal which is kinda how i feel about most of the ?sexually? themed things my parents have done.

-my mum has always commented on my body in ways that made me very uncomfortable, such as often commenting on how i would be sexually harassed because of the outfit im wearing, even the necklace im wearing.

-my mum gave me several moderately detailed accounts of sexual assaults that hve happened to her, like for instance when i was around 6-9? she used a story of a sexual assault that happened to her while in a pool to say that i be afraid in public pools. the amount of detail was very unnecessary.

-one time my mum was telling me about how boys pinch girls buttcheeks to tell them they think theyre 'sexy'. then she pinched my buttcheeks a bunch of times even though i didnt want her to. im sure she did this many times and i was literally like 5 years old or something.

-my mum talked to my sister while i was in earshot about... how she would be ok with it if i married my 1st cousin? and she named him specifically. it made me feel rly weird around him.

-again my dad has always just given me huge predator vibes and ive always been super afraid of him.

this list is definitely incomplete but i dont remember anything penetrative or to do with anyone touching my genitals.

i tried to tell someone about the "sexual abuse" twice when i was 13, both during mental ward stays about 9 or 10 months apart. the first time is completely blacked out from my memory and the second one... they told the police. my dad was questioned and nothing happened because i never wanted anyone except the nurse who i told to know and refused to tell anyone any details. i just wanted to get a weight off my shoulders. instead i got a 3 or so year long period of my mum emotionally abusing me to a degree she never had. i was almost completely convinced that i had never been sexually abused. i still dont know if its true or not. the specific term my mum used was that i "mis-interpreted" my parents actions as sexual abuse. i didnt push back, i was too terrified of her and i just dissociated to cope with those years. i was very very isolated from anyone except my mum. i wanted desperately to be a young child again and felt like one most of the time. before 6 years old was the only period where i felt like my parents actually liked me.

when i was around 15 i started sexually getting involved with older men online. i wasnt attracted to them, i didntdesire them, i just was so traumatised from... whatevrr u want to call the way my parents treated me but i didnt feel that i had the right to be. i felt like i needed to get some "real" trauma and i dont want to say what i did but im lucky that none of these men ended up meeting up with me irl at least. the fucked up thing is that though it did traumatise me, i kind of felt better because i wanted something i could feel justified in being upset about.

now im 19 and my brain is hitting me with all these memories. i havent felt safe with my parents for most of my life. theyre neglectful and emotionally abusive towards me. they abused all my other siblings physically quite a lot and two of them have moved to different countries so that they can not live in the same place they grew up in. 2 out of 3 of my siblings have completely cut ties with my parents for years now. when i was 11 i recoeved an email from my brother telling me about our parents not being safe people.

ive started to consider the possibility of the constant violation of my boundaries counting as sexual abuse. i have a lot of sexual trauma symptoms and i have for a very long time. i grew up afraid that my dad was going to rape me. i think i was abused by my mum into associating holding my parents accountable with the punishment she put me through after she found out i reported them. i just want to know if im allowed to be upset about this. im terrified that this is normal, because if its normal that means i was a gross freak as a kid who just "mis-interpreted" these actions to be sexual abuse. i need to make sense of my reality somehow. im so confused.

you absolutely have the right to be upset by this. what they did to you was not okay. an adult touching a child intentionally in inappropriate areas is molestation, even if they played it off as not a big deal. many of the things you mentioned also sound like grooming which is often a part of childhood sexual abuse. i’m so sorry these things happened to you. i hope you are safe and can find a way to not be around your parents.

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stutterfly · 4 years

Text

Love Bytes 07 | User Privileges | KNJ (M)

Last time on Love Bytes 06: Seokjin gives you an earful before you spend a peaceful evening with Namjoon. You try to convince yourself whatever is happening between you is nothing to think twice about, but you have to reconsider when morning comes. Luckily you’re able to focus your energy on the new matches on your dating app... Or so you think.

Rating: M (Explicit 18+)

Word Count: 12K

Series: Love Bytes (7/?)

Genre: F2L, fluff, humor, SLOW BURN, friendship feels, ANGST! pining, sexual tension, smut, Bestfriends!au, CollegeProjessor!Namjoon, IT/Nerd!Reader

CW: anxiety, sexual tension, angst, pining, sexual thoughts, language, sexting, grinding, panic attacks (mentioned), reader gets gaslighted, negged, and bullied like this is the 6th grade (verbal abuse by a side character/anatagonist), reader gets dubcon groped (not any of our perfect boys; them and Jennie swing into action), brief homophobic comment by an antagonist, fuckboy Jungkook showing his soft side (s/o to Swipe Right Jungkook; believe in him), alcohol use/mention, best friend Hobi, bestie Jennie, BFFLs to the rescue, protective/jealous Namjoon, soft Namjoon feels, Namjoon about to whoop some jerk’s ass, reader is a Dumb Bitch™ about her feelings and toxic relationship warning signs

Pairings: Namjoon x Reader, brot7 masterlist // previous chapter // next chapter

Do not repost.

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You haven’t been able to put down your phone all day. An onslaught of “Super Likes” has you playing the foreign role of an extrovert, acting as peppy as possible to present your “best self” to your potential suitors. By the time your battery percentage is down to single digits, you’re feeling just as drained. You fumble with the charging port near the head of the couch, cheek squishing against the armrest. It’s hard to find the energy to rise. Why is trying to get laid so much work? Jennie made it sound way easier. Keeping your eyes open becomes more of a struggle than it’s worth. No amount of socializing feels as rewarding as letting yourself drift off.

You don’t mean to sleep through several group texts and phone calls, but your phone’s reverberations fall near silent against the back cushion. You might sleep through the night if not for a loud series of loud, familiar knocks on your door.

‘Knock--knock-knock--knock--knock.’

You groan into the air, “Whaaaaaat?”

“Open the dooooor.” Even muffled behind the thick wood, you recognize Hoseok’s nasally whine.

Still half-asleep, you shuffle towards the sound. The deadbolt clicks against the light pressure of your fingertips and yields the shining face of your friend. His grin practically reflects the light of the hall and amplifies its shine. It's almost sickening.

"What, were you sleeping?” He frowns narrowing his eyes at you as he scrutinizes every last detail set in your features. “Were you crying? You’re not still upset about your terrible date, are you?”

You smack his hand away as he fusses with the rat’s nest that is your hair. “No, I’m fine. I’m just exhausted from socializing on Tinder all morning.” You yawn, reaching for your phone. “What time is it anyway?”

“You sound like Yoongi,” he laughs, drawing the curtain across the room to let in some natural light. “Don’t worry. You didn’t sleep through the night. It’s almost two.”

“Oh good, it’s only been a couple hours.” You wince as the room brightens, holding back an annoyed hiss. Soft rain patters against the leaves on the tree outside of your window. Maybe the weather is finally letting up and you can see some real sunshine again sometime soon.

“I just wanted to check in. I know you’re too polite for your own good sometimes.”

You miss the concern in his face as you scan the latest batch of matches that have messaged you since your power nap. There was a guy asking if you wanted to meet for lunch, but you missed the window. He seemed pretty nice so you want to apologize as fast as possible so you don’t seem like a total bitch.

When you don’t even acknowledge Hoseok’s words, his face hardens. “...But not all the time, apparently.”

You look up from the keyboard on your phone, halfway through constructing an apology. Sensing his annoyance at your manners, you turn off the screen and offer a guilty smile.

“I’m sorry, Hobi. Jennie and Tae sent me the photos this morning and--”

His countenance changes in an instant, dropping his pout and grinning like a maniac as he sprints across the room. “What? Really? Let me see!”

He hip checks you into the couch and you both fall to the cushions with a graceless flop. You know you could convince him to drop it if you really wanted to, but a part of you is really enjoying the positive reactions from your matches and the attention is doing wonders for your self-esteem. What’s one more person inflating your ego?

“Oh, just one sec. I want to apologize for ghosting this dude.”

“You ghosted someone?” Hoseok shakes his head in disbelief, throwing his arm around you. “I’m so proud! Did he deserve it? Was it the guy at the coffee shop?”

You snort, fingers tapping your keyboard thoughtfully. “No. There’s this guy I was talking to earlier. He asked me to lunch right after I fell asleep.”

He furrows his brow at you. “I’m not really sure that’s ghosting if you planned on responding.”

Your fingers stop tapping the keyboard and you look up at him. “Oh. Well. I definitely ghosted the coffee guy. Just unmatched and deleted his number.”

“Attagirl.” He grins, playfully nudging his knuckles into your jaw. “So what’s this guy’s name?”

“Mmm. Don’t want to tell you, in case it doesn’t go anywhere,” you mumble, backing out of the conversation.

Hoseok glances down at your screen and raises his eyebrows when he notes all of the conversations you have going simultaneously. “Wow! Someone’s popular.”

“I didn’t expect such a big change once I got the photos. I hate to admit it, but you guys were actually right for once.”

His eyes widen. “Hmm? Say that one more time? Hold on!” He pulls out his phone like he’s going to record the statement and then laughs. “I’m glad you finally see my wisdom. Now gimme.”

He flexes his fingers a few times to make grabby hands at your phone. You navigate to your profile and allow him to peruse at his leisure, nervously micro-analysing his blatant facial expressions. You’re mostly getting a shocked and excited vibe, laced with a hint of pride as he keep repeating “wow” at each new image. Just as he’s moving on to the bikini photo, your cleavage is obscured by a new message.

“Jihoon? Is that your lunch guy?”

“What? He responded? I’ve been cussed out for ignoring a dude for five minutes. They’re usually not so understanding in my experience.”

“Yikes, is that what it’s like for girls?” Hoseok shivers. “On behalf of all men, let me apologize to you.”

“You’re absolved of your guilt for waking me up,” you joke, prodding his side with your finger and giggling when he wiggles away from your touch. “What did he say?”

“He says he still wants to grab a bite with you, if you’re up for it. Ooh he called it a wake up snack with a winky face!” he teases, already bringing up the keyboard to respond for you. “What should we say back? Let’s see… I’m not hungry, but I’ve got a snack for you if you wanna come get it…. Winky-- Hey!”

You snatch the phone back from him, smacking him lightly in the chest. “I’ll figure out something a little less eager, thanks.”

He shrugs. “Suit yourself. I think you should go though.” He’s already removed the scrunchie from your hair and is brushing it with his fingers to retie it. “Nothing like a rebound to get your mind off of things.

“I’m not having sex with him,” you mumble, sending off your response to Jihoon.

“Oh, by the way, we’re meeting up at Seesaw later. You can use that as your out.”

“You gonna buy me drinks this week too?” you ask sweetly, puckering your lips at him.

He scoffs. “Pfft. At Yoongi’s bar? Yoongi’s buying. Now, go put on some clothes that don’t look like you wore them to bed with someone else.”

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

A points system is something Hobi helped you come up with. You meet up for a snack at a bar and have one drink with him, telling him ahead of time you have dinner plans with friends so he gets the idea right away that your time is valuable. He starts with 100 and you can deduct based on gross mannerisms or behavior.

That way he starts in the positive and only falls to the negative if things go poorly. If he loses enough points, you can end the date by saying you have to get ready because you’re someone’s ride--which is technically true since Namjoon refuses to get his license and you've naturally taken to being his chauffeur.

Now that you're treating dating like a game, it seems like a piece of cake. You can just throw if you've been matched with a shitty teammate. This time you're expecting it. No way are you going to get trapped for 2 hours talking to some dude who doesn't give two fucks about who you are. You’ll probably be back home in no time, eating some of that ice cream still in your freezer and pretending to be interested in some other guy's messages. That's what dating is, right? It's fine. It's a good plan.

You can tell Hoseok and Jin that you made an attempt, are too tired to go out, get drunk alone in your apartment, have a good cry over some self indulgent romantic drama, and pass out with your vibrator cupped in one hand. It definitely sounds like the night of a well adjusted adult with healthy coping mechanisms for rejection, loneliness, and anxiety. It's in your nature to turtle when you feel so shitty about yourself, and your friends know it. You're just hoping they'll accept your excuse of fatigue as a simple fact rather than a disguise for your unhappiness.

There's just one little hiccup you've run into with this foolproof plan. The guy who agreed to meet you for a single drink isn't the one you'd been talking to all morning. He's funnier, twice as handsome, and at least three times more suave than his online persona. Deducting points from someone so charming is proving to be difficult, even after downing a second rum and coke in your haste to work off the genuine butterflies fluttering in your belly.

You can’t get your hopes up. You tell yourself this and yet your brain is ignoring that mantra in favor of bashing you over the head with feelings of excitement, especially when he drops his hand beside yours on the bar. He gently brushes his pinky against the back of yours as he laughs. Suddenly you don’t want this date to end. The smallest touch sets your nerves alight and you’re craving more.

Do you dare to pull out your phone to check the time? Is it rude? You don’t want him thinking you’re not having a good time, but you promised Hoseok that you’d keep it short. It’s a risk you have to take. Pulling the mobile device from your pocket, you try to casually bump the power button to check the time. You bite your lip, realizing you’ve already gone ten minutes past the time you’d decided to end it.

“You sure you can’t stay for another? I’m buying.” The man beside you smiles and playfully bumps his shoulder against yours as his fingers finally curl around yours on the bar. Your gaze is fixed on the motion of his thumb caressing yours.

The breath catches in your throat and you stutter out a flustered laugh. Shy eyes peek up from beneath fallen strands of hair, trying to decide if this is actually happening or if someone is playing a cruel joke on you. His lips part into an amused grin as he tucks the strand behind your ear. His fingers are warm as they lightly trail along the side of your face and instinctively you close your eyes and lean into his touch.

“Mmm,” you hum, losing yourself in the simple sensation of fingertips brushing against your cheek. The comfort the motion brings reminds you of someone else, someone you’ve been feeling incredibly confused about as of late. Panic settles in your belly as you almost say his name. “Na--” you catch yourself and clear your throat.

Trying not to draw attention to your mind’s slip-up, your eyes pop open and settle on the bar as you slink away, nearly falling from the stool as you collect your purse.“N-Nah. I, um, have plans. But, um...”

He curiously cocks his head at you. “Are you okay to drive, lightweight? I can call you a Lyft.”

A nervous laugh passes your lips as you twirl your fingers around the metal ring that houses your keys. “I’ll be okay. Thank you! I’m just! Really clumsy. Sorry. Th-this was nice though. Can we--Can we do this again?”

Shit. Way to sound desperate.

Much to your surprise, Jihoon offers a dimpled smile with a raise of his phone. “Hit me up again, beautiful. Any time. I'll tell them to go easy on the rum next time."

You hesitate on moving in to kiss his cheek and instead decide to nod and spin on your heels, nearly missing the waitress balancing a platter full of food beside you. Adrenaline rushes through you on the walk back to your car, a soft rain dampening your clothes and speckling the screen of your phone as you check your messages.

Hobi: how’s it going?

Hobi: you’ve gone over time Dirty Girl

Hobi: 😂

Hobi: tell me ur alive?

As you settle into the driver’s seat, you fingers are already working to craft a response that might reveal everything that you’re feeling, but nothing you try to say seems to do any justice to it.

You: I survived. SS? :)

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

Hoseok leans back in his chair, taking in everything you’ve told him with a big grin as he picks at the nachos on the table. “So he didn’t try to kiss you?”

You wrack your brain, which is starting to fill with the haze of alcohol. "No. He held my hand for like half a sec though.”

He snorts, crunching down on a chip. “Risqué. Who would have thought you could be so naughty?”

You roll your eyes, debating on whether or not you should admit why you were able to end the things when you did. You scan the plate of nachos and your jaw tightens, shifting from left to right as you try to reason that you hadn't been thinking of someone else while on your date.

"I mean he might have tried to kiss me if I didn't end things so abruptly," you contemplate aloud with a dramatic sigh. “He was so nice. What if he never wants to see me again? What if I blew it?”

Hoseok is scrolling through your messages with Jihoon, scrunching his nose. “Hmm. Or maybe,” he pauses to flip the screen towards you, “you’re just being silly. What, did you get drunk off one beer again?"

Jihoon: Make it home safe, lightweight?

Your lips curl into a smile reading the message, quickly texting a response.

You: I'm fine lol i told you I wasn't drunk. Sorry if I worried you at all!

Jihoon: oh good guess I can spend the rest of my night thinking about you for other reasons now 😏

Breathing gets a little harder as your heart swells to your brain and turns it to mush.

"Damn this guy's smooth," Hoseok murmurs as you set the phone down on the table, feeling completely dumbstruck.

"What do I say?" you ask, suddenly unable to form a coherent thought. Panic bubbles deep in your belly. There’s no doubt in your mind whatever you say will make this guy never speak to you again and you actually maybe kind of enjoyed his company.

Hoseok drums his fingertips on the table, a devilish grin spreading across his features as he begins to walk them towards your phone. “I can type out something for you.”

He bursts out laughing as you quickly snatch the device, sending off a simple blushing smiley.

“Bo-ring,” he sings into the rim of his glass, clicking his tongue against the roof of his mouth. Just as he’s putting his drink down, you’re bringing yours to your lips. “So does this mean you’re not sleeping with Namjoon anymore?”

A cough sputters from your mouth. Your drink comes dribbling out from between your lips like a boozy waterfall and ice cubes plop back into the nearly empty glass. “Namjoon told you?!”

‘Wha?” He raises his eyebrows, mouth hanging open. “For real?!”

Oh no. Oh. Nononononono.

“Not! Like that!”

He saw Namjoon coming out of your apartment this morning, but he failed to mention any recent developments. What’s he at, two weeks now? He can’t have confessed, but it’s clear that something has happened. Did he make a move? Did you?

A smug grin splits his face in two, as he plants an elbow on the table and rests his chin on his palm. For some reason the only thing playing in your brain as he stares at you like this is a quote from Spongebob Squarepants: ‘You like Krabby Patties, don’t you Squidward?’

“Stop looking at me like that!”

He continues to stare at you with his accusatory grin and you feel yourself cracking under the pressure.

“Hoseok!”

Silently waiting, he does a slow blink and lets out a lofty sigh full of longing.

“I--! We--! Slept. Literally slept. Not. Dirty,” you panic, trying to fix the mess you’ve made. Here you are telling Hoseok after making Namjoon promise to forget, to not say anything himself. You’re a filthy hypocrite. You only maybe planned on telling Jennie. Maybe. Because chances are she’d be looking at you the same way Hoseok is right now and you’re not sure you can handle the mortifying experience twice.

You drop your forehead to the table hard enough to rattle the plates and cups on the table. Hoseok cringes and reaches out to place a comforting hand on your back but then thinks better of it and awkwardly pats your head instead.

Your voice is muffled as you wrap your arms around your face. “We didn’t have sex. We were just sleeping in the same bed. Please don’t make it into something it’s not.”

He polishes off his drink and looks down at you. Something it’s not? It’s definitely something that should be. You idiots are so close to being everything you both want to be for each other, and yet for some reason you refuse to accept it as the truth. If you’re sleeping in the same bed, regardless of whether you're feeling each other up or if it really is just innocent cuddling, you’re already in too deep to call yourself ‘just friends.’

You narrow your eyes at him when he rolls his. It seems like admission is still a topic to be avoided.

“Fine,” he huffs, feigning indifference. “I was just hoping for some drama.”

Namjoon better get his shit together soon. You might actually see this smooth-talking person again. If he’s as charming as he seems, he’ll have you falling for him in no time. Hoseok contemplates whether or not the guy is just fishing for casual sex with an easy target, but he doesn’t know enough about Jihoon to say for sure. But you? As big as you talk, you’re soft. Squishy, inside and out. Either way Namjoon will be crushed; there’s no way around that. But the last thing Hoseok wants is to see is not just one, but two of his friends heartbroken.

“Don’t say anything. Please,” you beg, reaching for the hand resting on the back of your scalp and fixing your gaze on the table. The sound of desperation seems to confirm there’s more at play than friends snuggling up in the same bed. He wordlessly curls his fingers around yours, giving them a squeeze, which causes you to look up.

“I won’t say a word. Who do you think I am: Jimin?”

It feels like he’s opening the curtains in your apartment to let the sunshine in all over again when he smiles and you can’t help but let the silent giggles break your nerves down.

Familiar hands press down on your shoulders, giving them a gentle rub. “Damn. Drunk already, Geeksquad?”

You can’t help but straighten your spine and slink back into the motion, despite the fresh briar of worry prickling your insides. Are things weird? You feel like things are weird. You try to make sense of the confusion blossoming with your nerves, but fuck, it feels so good when he does that. “No…mmm.”

You melt into the man at your back and are met with a familiar dimpled smile. The anxiety in your stomach disperses as quickly as it came on. Hoseok watches in silence with pursed lips that threaten to curl into a smile. You guys are morons. The way you’re looking at each other is almost sickening; it’s like you’re the only two people in the room. Something has definitely evolved in your relationship, but it’s not enough. Not yet. He’s never wanted to smush two people’s heads together so badly.

Hoseok clears his throat and stands, pinching your arm as he passes by you. “I’m gonna get another drink.”

You smooth your palm over the tender flesh, wrenching yourself away from the hypnotic pull of the man behind you as you down your backwashed drink. He lets his hand linger on your shoulder as he slides into the chair beside you. Suddenly all you can think about is how good those hands felt holding you steady as he rutted his hips against your ass. You swallow, casting your gaze at the table while trying to push the memory from your brain. The harder you try, the more you remember. Moaning and grinding your ass back into him. The growl in his throat. The frantic panting in your ear.

He leans in, a familiar concern evident in his hushed tone. “Everything okay?”

No.

“Yeah.”

You wilt under his skeptical eyes, shifting your attention to the glass you’re now sliding back and forth between your hands.

“You sure?” he asks, letting his thumb trail down your arm

You try to remember to breathe, not wanting to draw attention to the flustered heat in your chest. It’s easy to attribute the inappropriate thoughts to your conversation with Hobi. He brought it up and he doesn’t even know. Not really. And now it’s all you can think about.

“No.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” he asks, brow furrowing.

Yes.

When you don’t answer, he rests his elbow on the table and uses his palm to support his head. “Office hours are closed but Namjoon’s therapy hours are open.”

I want you to come home with me again so we can dry hump like we’re teenagers. You wish you had a shock collar for your thoughts. Stop. This is Namjoon.

You shake your head and force a guilty smile as you meet his gaze. Regret courses through your stomach, causing it to do somersaults. You can tell he spent way longer styling his hair than he would have you believe, but you’d be lying if you said he didn’t do a great job. It’s surprising he would let it get so long in such humid weather, but the ashy brown color compliments his dark eyes well and you hate to admit he looks rather attractive with it falling over his forehead like this. It just looks so…

Pullable.

You want to twist your fingers in it and draw him in. Your tongue pokes the inside of your cheek and you scold yourself, squashing the thoughts before they can take over. Think about something else.

Easier thought than done. Your brain has moved onto another target, focusing on the muscular forearm supporting his head. Has he really been working out? In his current position, the shadowy contours sculpted into his flesh seem more prominent than usual. It’s like you’re seeing them for the first time. The loose tanktop hanging around his torso probably has something to do with it. Your eyes linger far too long on a brown nipple poking out from behind the thin fabric.

He raises his eyebrows, watching your eyes wander everywhere but his face. You’ve been silent too long, but every thought in your mind threatens to spill out. You clear your throat, forcing your eyes to rest on his face. Anything is better than the hesitation heavily seated on your tongue.

“I had a date today.” Of course the first thing that comes out is just a complicated addition to the stockpile of conflict in your gut.

He does his best to remain stoic, despite the tendrils of hurt creeping up his chest. It's easier to mask the pain as surprise. "Oh? For real?"

"He seemed okay." You nod. "I didn't even spill anything on myself this time."

"Wow," he chuckles, clicking his tongue against the roof of his mouth. "Look at you, all grown up."

“Yeah. I put my bra on by myself and everything,” you joke, oblivious to Hoseok’s approach.

His hands reach around your sides, planting two drinks on the table. One looks suspiciously like something you would drink and the other is most definitely beer.

“Wow, what did I miss?” Hoseok asks, hugging you from behind. Any excuse to tease you is a good one, especially knowing there’s something going on between you and Namjoon. His fingers walk up your arms and tussle your hair.

Namjoon watches your expression morph into embarrassment and graciously brings the beer to his lips. You’re so cute when you’re flustered. Warm butterflies attempt to extinguish the inky tendrils of despair using his heart as a vice grip. Again he had his chance to confess this morning, and again he didn’t. And now you’re here running through the details of your date with someone else. It would be selfish to tell you now, wouldn’t it? It’s just something he’ll have to deal with.

Hoseok watches his friend’s eyes drop to the table as you prattle on about your date. While you’ve known Namjoon for a little longer than a year, Hoseok’s been friends with him for much longer. Maybe that’s why you can’t see it: the hopeful light being sucked from Namjoon’s eyes even as he hangs on your every word. Because he’s so in love with you, he’ll listen to anything you have to say, even if it’s about your attraction to someone else.

Hobi pinches your sides, shifting the focus of the conversation to his grabby little crab fingers and how much you hate them. He mocks you, dodging your playful smacks to his ribs. If the opportunity arises to spare Namjoon from another second of heartbreak, he’ll take it. He knows Namjoon never will, no matter how much it hurts.

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

The work week passes quickly. Things almost feel normal again. It probably helps that you made a point not to get sloppy drunk, you didn’t kiss Jimin, and you didn’t invite Namjoon back to your place for another dry-humping session disguised as platonic cuddling. But there’s this nagging feeling in the back of your head, constantly reminding you that you liked it. Try as you might to deny it, nothing sounds more appealing than the safety and warmth of his arms.

Instead you’re rolling against the cold sheets of your bed, trying to will yourself to get up. Again you’ve been dreaming about him. Again you tell yourself it’s just sexual frustration latching onto a familiar face. And again you stare at the ceiling, entirely unconvinced that there isn’t something more to it. You wish you invited him over again this weekend. You missed how good it felt to have him at your back, sliding his fingers along your arms until you fell asleep.

You talk to him every day and yet you’re still itching for more, looking for any excuse to talk to him, hoping he’ll break something that you’ll have to come fix since he hasn’t all week. It’s strange. So roll onto your side, face smushed into the pillow as you send him a text.

You: i heard u say u were gonna buy me coffee today. That’s so nice bae 😍

You wait a few minutes before the dots appear on screen.

Joonie: You are literally the worst. My alarm was just about to go off.

You: 🙂

You: u gonna tho

Joonie: Buy your own damn coffee

You: WOW RUDE 😭i just wanted a little succ

You: of the

You: caffiENE

Joonie: Why are you like this?

You: because ur my favorite person

Joonie: ….

He sends a meme from Spongebob where a fish is extending its neck with a judgemental stare.

Joonie: You don’t have to butter me up to get free coffee. Just text me your order

You: ashkfls;adsfkshfk ok ok gimme a sex

You: SEC

Joonie: 🙄

Talk about Freudian slip. You pause, considering what kind of coffee mood you’re in today. Bitter espresso or sugary sweet?

You: Vanilla iced coffee with one sugar pump please

Joonie: aight stop by my office. I’ve been having trouble connecting to the printer but no one has come to check it out

You: did u set up a ticket?

Joonie: Of course. I guess no one is as competent as you

You: kiss ass

Joonie: 😘

You roll your eyes, close out the conversation, and purse your lips before setting the phone down. Your latest dream resurfaces in your brain, straddling Namjoon’s torso as he leans you back over his desk and peppers your chest with kisses. Again you tell yourself it’s not about Namjoon, but the thirst associated with the drought of your sex life. Running your fingers down your torso, you start trying to work off some of the residual tension from your dreams.

Conflicted doesn’t even begin to describe your feelings. Confused doesn’t cover it either. You’d already met up with Jihoon again for a serious competition of indoor minigolf followed by a casual fast food dinner. Even then you found yourself thinking of one lanky professor, his dimpled smile replacing Jihoon’s every time he laughed. It’s why you didn’t take him up on the offer to return to his place. That and the fear of potentially being murdered.

You don’t want to have sex with someone when you don’t feel safe, but you consider ways to combat that that feeling for the next one. Maybe bringing him to your place is safer. After all, Yoongi and Hoseok are just down the hall. They’d be sure to check in on you if they knew you had company. People have sex with strangers all the time. It’s not that complicated. Why are you making it into such a big deal?

You can’t help but feel a little guilty. Things have been progressing with him pretty fast, but you have plenty of other offers to meet up with guys that you just haven’t jumped on. It’s kind of overwhelming now. Maybe you should call this dating thing off until your figure out what the hell is going on with your brain.

Or maybe you should just focus on masturbating instead of the confusing guys lighting up the switchboard of your brain. As you reach for your phone and start typing in the familiar web address of your favorite porn site, a photo message from Jihoon appears. You wonder what kind of meme he’s stolen from twitter this time. Carefully, you pause your search in favor of opening his message. It’s definitely not the meme you were looking for.

What you do see is a whole lot of skin along with a carefully placed kissy emoji over his crotch and a “good morning” text accompanying the image. You swallow hard, allowing yourself to be a creep for half a second. You spread your fingers across the screen to zoom in, taking in the sight of the rippled shadows lining his stomach.

You: 😵

You: im dead sorry we cant see each other anymore

Jihoon: 😂 sorry was that too much?????

You want to say no, but your belly does somersaults at the prospect of sending your own crafted picture as a response. It takes some finagling but you finally manage a shot with your arm wrapped around your chest at the perfect angle. No rolls showing, just a set of perfectly pouty lips, slanted jaw, and a great shot of cleavage. You know it’s taken you far too long to respond and you’re only slightly panicked as you scramble to send the photo over.

You see texts fly in from Namjoon and Jihoon and you swipe to close out the conversation with Namjoon. You quickly attach your photo and hit send, hoping Jihoon will feel rewarded for his patience. But your stomach sinks like a stone has been dropped into it. Your image doesn’t appear in the string of messages with him.

Jihoon: Left you speechless, huh?

You: JUST A BIT I NEED TO GO

You don’t give him a chance to respond or sass you for potentially getting off to that pic. You know how your statement reads, but you can’t be bothered to care with the other thought on your mind. Quickly navigating to your conversation with Namjoon, you wince, seeing the previous message he sent with the image you intended for another recipient.

Joonie: Whipped cream?

And there’s the risqué image.

If you ignore it, will he pretend he never got it? Or should you apologize right now and purge the view of the image by sending a billion texts? You decide on the latter, trying to perform damage control. He laughs it off and sends off a joke about just wanting a yes or no along with a few sickly emojis. You still feel terrible. How many times can you fuck up with him in one month? You’re surprised he still agrees to be your friend.

Hanging your head, you forgo touching yourself in favor of a cold shower.

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

By the time your get to his office he’s just setting two cups on his desk and shrugging off his long trenchcoat. His back is to you as you attempt to quietly slink in, but he turns to hang the damp piece of clothing on the rack to your left. You freeze like a deer in headlights, but his eyes soften.

“Mornin’ Geeksquad.”

“Good morning,” you sheepishly mumble, shrugging off your own damp hoodie.

The shirt you’ve chosen today is a flowy button-up blouse, which is a step up from the t-shirts you normally wear. Paired with the form-fitting slacks and makeup you took painstaking attempts to apply this morning, you feel confident that you’re at least somewhat stylish, even if you’re not on Namjoon’s level.

“You…” He tries to remember what words are as his eyes roam over your form. Noticing the top two buttons of your blouse are undone, he clears his throat and tries to push the photo from this morning from his mind, but it keeps coming back. “You look really nice today.”

You smile, folding your arms over your chest as he noticeably stiffens, fumbling with his words.

“I mean, you look nice every day. But, ah…. This-This outfit looks good on you. Really good.”

He rubs the back of his neck and you relish in the appreciation he offers, even if he’s a mess about it. Your cheeks are on fire and you giggle, finding your heart jumping at the way he stammers his way through the conversation.

Why are you acting so shy? You love it when he loses composure. You swallow, allowing yourself to embrace the heat in your belly. Isn't this exactly why you started dressing up more at work?

Pushing the demon on your shoulder back into the floating expanse of your stomach, you press your lips together in a thin line, trying to hide the grin threatening to show off the teeth you've recently started whitening.

“And you’re waiting… For the uh…. The computer. Printer. Thing. Of course. Hold up. Let me log in.”

He crosses the room and sits in his chair, eager to focus on something other than your gorgeous face and distracting body since it's clear you're feeling yourself today. You plop down in the cushioned chair on the other side of his desk and rest your neck on the back of the chair to stare at the ceiling. He focuses on the screen, slowly typing his password and trying his best not to look past his monitor at you. He begins twirling a pencil between his fingers to keep himself from fidgeting.

While he had tried to make you feel better about the accidental photo, it was just another thing piled on to your interactions lately that have been making it harder and harder to keep his feelings to himself. Was it really an accident? Maybe you’re just testing the waters. After everything that’s happened, he’s not sure what to think. Everything feels too coincidental to be anything other than pure attraction flying between the two of you. But if that were true, you’d have asked him to spend the night again.

He was hoping for it, hoping for another chance to make his move. This time he’d be sure to lock the door and switch your phone volume to silent. This time he’d buy you a dozen misfit roses with a billion thorns. This time he had it planned out: flowers, dinner, movie, and confess with a kiss.

After hearing about your first date with this Jihoon guy, he decided he was going to suck up his insecurities and finally go for it. It was bad enough when he thought you’d end up with Jimin, but the thought of losing you to a stranger is far worse than he could have imagined. But the weekend passed without invitation and his courage waned as soon as it was clear he would have to initiate.

Thinking about it and actually doing it are two different things. What if he messed things up? Time already appeared to be running out when Hoseok had given him a deadline to confess by, but with your new dating developments, time seemed to be slipping through his fingers even faster than before. His hesitation helps nothing.

His stomach lurches as he considers the ramifications of the image you sent this morning. If you didn’t mean to send it to him, then it must have been meant for Jihoon. Are you really already exchanging nudes with this other guy? Has he seen all of you? Has he already lain with you? Filled the space in your bed? In you? Maybe Jihoon is the only one he knows about. What if you’re talking to even more people and that photo was for someone you haven’t even mentioned yet?

The pencil in his hand splinters into pieces with a loud crack and your head snaps up to look in the direction the sound came from.

“What was that?”

“Uh… Just me being the God of Destruction.” He rises motions for you to take his place in the chair as he pockets the fragments of the broken pencil.

You shake your head, grabbing your drink as you circle the desk and get comfortable in his chair. “You’re hopeless.”

Navigating the network doesn’t take very long. It just looks like a missing password to connect to the printer’s address. Huh. You don’t remember updating anything. Maybe your coworkers reset it. Regardless, it’s an easy fix. You take a sip through your straw and slam the cup down on the desk.

Suddenly your dream is on vivid display in your head and you freeze as you stare at the smooth, dark surface of the polished woodgrain. The sound of his balls slapping your ass echoes in your ears. You can see the scenario, clear as day. He grips your hips and fucks himself into your tight cunt, tits bouncing in his face as he sucks a hardened nipple into his mouth, praising you for your tightness, how you squeeze him, how you take him so well like the dirty slut you ar--

His hands come down on your shoulders. “Hey. You okay?”

Blood rushes in your ears and you shake the daydream off. You really need to stop watching naughty teacher porn but it’s always on the first page. You tell yourself it has nothing to do with Namjoon and everything to do with laziness. The problem with that is you’re usually very particular about the videos that you watch. Can you fully attribute it to laziness when this is the type of thing you found yourself skipping over just a few months ago? Don’t dwell on it, you tell yourself, continuing typing where you left off.

“Sorry, just… spaced out,” you mumble, leaning back in the chair as you finish up. “There. Should be all set.”

He allows his gaze to drop down past the two open buttons and straight to your breasts, perfectly nestled against the silky black material of your bra. His eyelids flutter and he licks his lips, hoping you don’t notice what a creep he’s being right now. How much spank bank material can he collect in one day?

“Do you want to test it?” you ask, quickly rummaging through the millions of icons on his desktop for any word document.

His breath hitches as you hover over one labeled ‘Draft_Trivia_L,’ double clicking it without a second thought. His hand catches your wrist and he spins you to face him as the document opens.

“You can’t just open things. That’s private!” he flares, heat building in his face. His gut fills with immediate regret.

You blink a few times and look down at your lap, feeling rather foolish. You’ve never seen him snap like that; it must really important. Regardless of your friendship, you know better as a professional. Your gut tumbles in endless circles. Just knowing you’ve upset him on top of everything else you’ve fucked up with your friendship has your mind heavy with guilt.

“I’m really sorry. I should have asked first,” you murmur, feeling like you’re about to cry. You’re not a child. You can handle being scolded when you’ve done wrong, even though it sucks. But this is different. He’s never gotten even remotely angry at you before. And you’ve never wanted crawl into to the server room and volunteer the remainder of your week sorting cables, but there’s a first time for everything.

The hands at your wrists fall to his sides and his expression softens. Before he can offer the apology on the tip of his tongue, you rise and head straight for the door.

“Test it out and let helpdesk know if it’s working.”

Just as you grab the handle and pull open the door, his hand pushes the heavy panel back in place with a click. You turn around, your back resting against the door, but he keeps his arm steady, hovering over you in a way that makes your heart race, despite the turmoil churning in your tummy.

“Wait. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to snap,” he says in a gentle tone. “It’s just… that particular document is… very personal. It’s--”

“You don’t have to tell me,” you say in a quiet voice. “I fucked up. I’m supposed to let you drive after I fix stuff. I’m not supposed to touch anything other than what’s broken.”

“You know I don’t have a license,” he jokes, earning a soft laugh from you. He sighs. “Remember how I told you about that one student? Well it turns out they really resonated with our poetry studies. They told me it reminds them of something they like to do for fun.” He hesitates, rubbing the back of his neck.

“They like to freestyle rap. Do tons of underground competitions, that kind of thing. So I’ve been working with them on bridging the gap between literature, poetry, and rap. And that document you opened… I’m trying my hand at it to lead by example. I want to share it with you, but it’s... not done and it’s a mess I’m still working through. But I promise I will let you see it when it’s done.”

“I’m sure it’s amazing. You’re a genius,” you admit with a shrug of your shoulders. “You have a way with words unlike anyone I’ve ever met. Don’t feel like you have to show me anything, Namjoon. You’re not obligated to.”

He scoffs, relaxing his posture to pinch the bridge of his nose as the compliment starts to sink in. Did you just acknowledge his sexy brain? He can’t help but grin like an idiot as he shakes his head. “I have to show you. It’s actually… I kind of wrote it about… I mean, for you.”

Your eyes widen, curiosity bubbling in your chest. “M-Me?”

What the hell could he possibly have to say about you that could turn into a literary piece to lead by example?

“Yes. You.” He takes a sip of the beverage in his hand before thrusting it in your direction. “You know what? I don’t actually hate that.”

“I know. You have a sweet tooth,” you giggle, swiping your finger across the whipped cream covering the tip of his nose.

You take your finger into your mouth and lick it clean. He watches you with hungry, longing eyes, replacing your finger with something else in his mind. He quickly covers the look with a sigh, gathers your coat from the rack nearby and throws it over your head, shielding himself from your teasing actions. You scramble to regain your field of vision and grin at him as he sits down at his desk again.

You turn to finally leave again, this time in much better spirits. “I’ll talk to you later, Joonie.”

“Geeksquad,” he calls, causing you to pause. “We’re good, right?”

You rest your face on the doorframe as you peer back at him with a shy, slightly smooshed grin. “Of course. As long as you don’t hate me for the million ways I mess up.”

He chuckles, warm dimpled smile gracing his features. “Never.”

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

Thursday night. Finally. You sit on your couch legs propped up over Jennie’s lap, finding some time to catch up with your bestie. She passes the bowl of popcorn over to you, engrossed in the comedy-drama you’ve been binging for the last couple hours. When you shake your head and push the bowl back in her direction, she looks over at you.

“What’s wrong.” It’s a demand, not a question.

“Why would you think anything’s wrong?” you ask defensively, already feeling like you’re about to cry.

“Because I know you, you dumb bitch,” she responds with the love of someone who has definitely seen you at your worst. “Also your leg has been bouncing for the last ten minutes and if you had to pee you would just get up.”

Immediately you halt the motion you hadn’t realized you’d been making. “Jihoon wants to meet up again this week.”

“Wow. Does that make date three? Bow-chicka-wow-wow,” she jokes, causing your feet to rise as she bumps her hips up and down.

You swipe at the air and roll your eyes. “Please, like he wants to.”

She scoffs, stuffing her mouth full of popcorn. “Didn’t you say he tried to get you back to his place after the last one? Dude def wants to bang it out.”

You twiddle your fingers nervously. “Do you think I should?”

“What, fuck him?” she asks, blinking at you as though she’s carefully analyzing your body language through the fluttering of her eyelids.

You slowly nod, puffing your cheeks out and letting air slowly escape the little ‘o’ you’ve made with your mouth. “I already told him I would get drinks with him and I’m nervous about taking things further after.”

“Y/N, honey, why are you asking me? I’m not gonna do it for you. Do you want to fuck him?”

“I don’t know…” You rub your forehead nervously, looking back at the television. “But I think it might take my mind off of some things.”

“Like...?” she prods, realizing there’s something else you’re on the verge of needing to get out, but you need a teensy push to get there.

You purse your lips and stare up at the ceiling, trying to figure out a way to make it sound less crazy than the bottled up way it’s consuming your thoughts.

“When I’m with him... I can’t stop thinking about Namjoon,” you say quietly, feeling lightheaded just from having said it out loud. You said the words. You admitted it’s a thing. Now what? Jennie will know what to do.

“Ew,” she says out of instinct, knowing anytime she’s broached the subject of you getting together with Namjoon you’ve made gagging sounds. But when she sees the horror on your face, she pauses. “Oh, are we not at ew anymore? Are you finally cool with me saying he’s fine as hell? You feeling a little change, babe?”

“I don’t know what I feel. But it’s not ew. Not even close. I keep having these…” you pause and look at the unlocked door, wondering if there are any ears listening on the other side. Your voice drops to a whisper and you lean in. “I keep having these dreams where he’s… you know?”

“Oh, okay,” she says with a nod, not quite understanding what you’re getting at, but trying to be a good friend by agreeing anyway. She plants her elbow on the back of the couch and rests her cheek on her palm. “But like… how do you mean?”

Your eyes look everywhere but at her face. “You know…”

“Oh?” Her eyebrows furrow and it’s not until you make a crude circle with your hand and poke a finger through it a few times that her eyes light up with understanding. Her voice takes on a surprised tone. “Oh!” She pushes your legs off her lap, pauses the show, and scooches closer. “Okay. Wow. This is really happening. Finally. Details. Spill it.”

With a groan, you recount every last thing you can remember about the time you’ve spent with Namjoon in the last few weeks, everything from toilet hair to the most recent photo mishap. When you’ve finished, Jennie sighs loudly.

“I take off for like a week and this is what happens. I love you, but you are a serious fucking mess.” You’ve just been fanning the flames of the torch he’s been carrying for you. No wonder it’s all coming to a head like this. She’s surprised Namjoon hasn’t caved and finally confessed already. Isn’t he ready to blow at this point? She stifles a giggle at the double entendre.

“I know.” You stare at the ceiling, hands folded over your lap. “So what do I do?”

“Okay. Let me get this straight. You’ve slept in the same bed, cuddled, flashed him, almost made out with him, humped him, sent him a nude, you’re having sex dreams about him aaaaand you’re thinking about him while you’re on dates with other people… And you’re asking me what to do? You know what to do. Just bang it out already,” she says, clapping her hands together on the last few syllables to emphasize her point.

“Obviously there’s something there. So why don’t you just test the chemistry? You guys might be surprisingly compatible.”

You shake you head and run your fingers through your hair. “I can’t risk his friendship. I’ve fucked up so much already. Like what if we do it and he’s like… cool let’s not ever again. And then he tells me our friendship is over.”

“He won’t,” she groans, tossing one of the throw pillows at you. “Stop being dumb.”

“But…” Your mind races as you consider every last thing that could go wrong, hugging the pillow to your chest. “Jennie, I’m too scared to lose him. I can’t.”

Her brow knits in concentration. Your fears are understandable, but she knows you can be happy with him if you just open up to the possibility, especially since you’ve become such good friends in such a relatively short amount of time. But she also knows pushing you too hard too fast will make you clam up. You may not be willing to address what you feel, but at least there’s admission of some kind of feeling. That’s progress.

“So where do we go from here, Y/N? What are you doing?”

You wish you had an answer. “I… I’m calling Firewall on this. Right now. Namjoon keeps me in line with everyone else. You keep me in line with him.”

Jennie swallows, her heart breaking for you both as she nods. “Okay. If that’s what you want,” she agrees softly.

“It is,” you say, voice already full of uncertainty.

You have a date tomorrow night with Jihoon and you’ve decided you are going to stop thinking about Namjoon for the entirety of it. For the sake of your friendship and your sanity. You have to keep things simple and divided. So why does it feel like that’s way too easy of an answer?

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

Jihoon is way better at dancing than you are, which doesn’t come as a surprise, honestly. What you do find shocking is the blatant boner you feel poking against your ass as he guides you across his hips and the filthy things he whispers into the slope of your neck. Clearly he uses dancing as an excuse to cop a feel, but the butterflies in your stomach and the heat in your cheeks tell you you’re okay with that. You shyly reach up to cradle your fingers around the back of his head, breath staggered as you slowly lean back to press your lips to his. His jaw is stiff, but his lips are big and soft and it’s easy enough to substitute the person you’re craving without a second thought. Fireworks explode in your brain, blocking off all possible hangups about the action.

As he brings his hands up to your chest, giving your tits a rough squeeze, you come crashing back down. Fuck. You had one job tonight. Firewall, remember? Your eyes shoot open and you’re left with a suffocating swarm of bodies around you and hands that feel constricting. It’s too much. You need air. You need air and space around you to figure this out.

You grab his hands and move them back to an innocent place on your hips. “I’m gonna get another drink,” you say, desperate to escape this place you suddenly feel trapped in.

He allows you to slip through his sweaty fingers and disappear into the crowd.

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

“I think I’m gonna be sick,” Namjoon says, unable to take his eyes off the way you’re moving with the man at your back. Is this his fate: destined to watch you grind your body on someone else?

Jennie, Jungkook, and Tae exchange worried looks. Hoseok just scoffs as he peers through the glass railing across the sea of writhing bodies.

“I know. What kind of dancing is that? It’s like she can’t remember anything I taught her. Crescent moon shapes. CRESCENT.” He grunts in frustration and drags his hand down his chin. “I’m gonna have an aneurysm.”

Taehyung rolls his eyes, leaning back in his chair and placing his arms out around the back of Jennie and Jungkook’s chairs. “Of course that’s what you would see.”

She grumbles as Tae manspreads, knocking her knee with his. She settles for the way his fingers trail feather light touches at her back.

“Namjoon, you didn’t have to come,” she says sympathetically. “I just wanted to keep an eye on her just in case… I’m sorry. I know you guys think I’m crazy. But like… I’ve been with crazy. And if that experience has taught me anything, it’s to trust my gut.” She pats her stomach a few times and takes a small sip of her drink. “And my gut says don’t trust a hoe you don’t know, especially with your bestie.”

“That’s exactly why I had to come,” he sighs.

Touche, she thinks.

Suddenly you’re moving in a slow, sweet way that Jennie recognizes as your telltale shy kiss. As much as she likes the feeling of Tae’s fingers dancing with the ends of her hair, she stands and takes Namjoon’s hands, pulling him from his seat. She can hear Tae’s grumbly protests as she moves away, but it doesn’t matter. She’d really like to spare Namjoon the heartbreak of watching the person he loves kiss someone else.

“Joonie. Get up. Switch places with me. Come on.”

Her act of heroism comes too late. He falls back into his chair with his jaw hanging open, unable to stomach the sight. So he forces his eyes to focus on the ambient lights dangling from the ceiling. It's stupid. You're not even his, so why did that feel like getting punched in the gut? He closes his eyes and swallows the growing lump in his throat. Get it together.

Jungkook grimaces at Hobi, mouthing the words ‘what do we do?’ Hoseok looks from Jungkook to Namjoon, and then down to the floor where you’re prying Jihoon’s hands away from your chest and shying away. Squinting to get a better view of your form, he realizes you’re not just slinking away, you’re running away.

Hoseok rises, dragging his dejected friend to his feet. "Hey, let's get you something stronger than a ginger ale. Up! Up! Time to get our bodies moving. Things will be okay!"

Hoseok jerks his head in the direction he saw you running off to, making eye contact with Jennie. "Y/N is obviously okay! So let's not have wasted this time sulking when we could be getting endorphins going."

Jennie cocks her head to the side as she stands and peers over the rail, trying to discern whatever information Hoseok wanted to relay. Then she sees it: the distant form sneaking into the bathroom.

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

Namjoon groans as he leans his elbows on the bar. “You know what, I’m starting to think this wasn’t such a good idea. She’s obviously safe and happy. Can you please drop me off at home?”

Hoseok is looking past Namjoon, squinting into the crowd as though looking for something in particular. “You know this is your last weekend to confess before I tell her for you, right?”

“Hey. Don’t complicate her life. She’s got someone now. I appreciate the push, but it’s done. There’s nothing else to--”

“Hey isn’t that the guy?” Hoseok interrupts, hastily thrusting a pointed finger just in front of his friend’s nose.

Namjoon’s gaze follows Hoseok’s fingertip to Jihoon on the other side of the bar, putting his hands around some other girl’s waist and burying his face into her neck as they grind on one another.

“What the fuck?” Namjoon breathes.

His feet are moving without provocation and before he knows it, he’s angrily wrenching the couple apart. “Are you fucking serious right now?”

“Dude what the fuck? Do I know you?” Jihoon blinks, giving him a shove.

Namjoon’s shoulder dips back, but his stance is firm. He drags his lip through his teeth, a manic grin threatening to spread through if he doesn’t keep his jaw tight. “Try that shit again. I dare you. I will lay you out.”

The girl he was dancing with grimaces and quickly backs away, sensing the danger in this situation. Jungkook is waiting. He catches her wrist and spins her gracefully into his arms.

“Careful, gorgeous. Don’t want you mixed up in whatever that is, hmm?” he says, brushing the hair from her face with featherlight touches that contrast the solid mass of his body pressed against her side. “Don’t you want to dance with me instead?”

She looks like she’s about to slap him for a fraction of a second, but melts into a puddle as soon as she meets those big brown eyes. She weakly allows him to lure her away from the squabbling men.

“Maybe…”

“Hah. Well then. Maybe I’ll let you,” he teases, poking his tongue into the side of his cheek and disappearing into the crowd with her hot on his heels.

Jihoon’s jaw grows taut with annoyance as he watches his target slip away. He scoffs. “What the fuck is your problem with me? I don’t know you. Get lost.” He clicks his tongue and mutters, “fucking punk.”

“You’re here with Y/N and you’re out here feeling up other girls. That’s my problem with you.”

“Pfft. That’s what this is about? What are you, her boyfriend? Or do you just have white knight syndrome? Look, I don’t care what you guys are. Everybody has a side piece. Why are you being so judgemental?”

Namjoon’s concentrated brow briefly transforms into confusion, causing his response to die on the tip of his tongue. Jihoon catches the panic before he can turn his face to stone.

“Oh, that’s not it is it? I see how it is now. You’re stuck in the friend zone.” Jihoon lets out a smug laugh. “Are you stalking her? You must have seen our kiss. Tell me. How badly do you wish you were me?”

Namjoon feels like his teeth are going to break if he keeps grinding them together like this, but it’s all he can do to keep himself from unloading on this guy.

“Heh. Judging from your silence, pretty fucking badly. How long have you waited? Months? Years? Be honest. It drives you crazy knowing that I’m going to have her tonight, doesn’t it?”

“You don’t deserve her,” he spits back, unable to hold the jealous venom from his tone. “I’m not even worried. She’ll figure you out.”

Jihoon shakes his head, taking a few steps closer to him. “You’re wrong though. I know her type. She’s desperate for somebody to love her. Anybody will do. It doesn’t matter who.”

His words are like a sucker punch to the gut. What if he’s right? Regardless, he powers through his insecurities, knowing a guy as shitty as Jihoon is trying to go for the low blows to throw him off his game. “Man, do you ever get tired of spewing shit?”

“Dude, why do you even want her?” Jihoon shakes his head with a laugh. “Yeah, she's kind of cute but there are plenty of hotter chicks out there.” He clicks his tongue. “I thought I saw an easy opportunity to get laid but I didn't think someone as desperate as her would take this long to get in the sack. It’s kind of more trouble than it's worth for what's bound to be a mediocre lay. I can just tell.”

Namjoon clenches his jaw tighter, knowing that he’s just egging him on at this point.

“But I’ll fuck her anyway. Because I can.”

Namjoon lunges toward him but Taehyung and Hoseok are already grabbing his arms and steadying him like vines entangling a tree. Jihoon silently laughs like this is the most amusing game in the world.

“He’s not worth it. Don’t do something you’ll regret,” Tae says, glaring in Jihoon’s direction, who rolls his eyes in response.

“Time to cool off,” Hoseok whispers, working on backing him up. “Come on. She’s smart. Believe in her.”

Namjoon glares at the enemy he’s made today, wishing he got at least one punch in. “You best keep your mouth shut, or I’ll make sure it stays shut.”

“That’s fine. I’ll make sure Y/N’s stays wide open though, don’t worry.”

Namjoon seethes with rage as he pushes his friends forward, trying to return to the man pushing his buttons. “You really wanna throw hands, or you wanna keep making backhanded comments like a bitch? Let’s fucking go.”

“Joon, come on,” Tae and Hobi take turns trying to diffuse the anger in his eyes

Jihoon rolls his eyes again. “Listen to your boyfriends, bro.”

“Yeah, keep rolling your eyes. I see you looking for your fucking brain,” Namjoon quips with a snort. With a frustrated sigh he finally allows Tae and Hobi to goad him back to a distance where he’s not in danger of putting his fist in someone’s face.

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

You come back from the bathroom, panic attack only a hazy memory thanks to one of your best friends showing up to talk you through it. Of course Jennie followed you here to make sure you’d be okay. Honestly, you couldn’t be more grateful right now. She gave you the pep talk you needed.

When you finally spot Jihoon, he’s standing alone at the bar, casually leaning against it but looking pissed as fuck. Before you can ask if everything is okay, he’s pulling you into a deep kiss, forcing his wet, slimy tongue down your throat. He’s sure to make a show of it knowing that Namjoon is watching from somewhere nearby.

You wedge your hands between your bodies and break free of the kiss, feeling like that was super out of character for him with how you left things. You were hoping he’d be more thoughtful and considerate of your earlier reaction, but it only adds more proof onto the obvious statement that he is not Namjoon. You try to give him a pass because you know being horny definitely makes you stupid and needy.

“What’s gotten into you?” You giggle nervously, trying to ignore the anxiety nagging at the back of your mind. The butterflies have become a swarm of angry bees circling your belly.

He leans in to whisper against your ear, “I just want you so badly right now. I’m sorry. You wanna get out of here?”

You shift uncomfortably, unsure if you're ready for that, or if you even want that with him. A sense of obligation floods your brain, even though you know you don’t owe him a thing. How fucked up is it that you feel guilty for not putting out on the third date? You don’t actually know this guy that well, so how can you bring yourself to fuck him? Stop being a prude. It’s just sex.

Fighting the sinking feeling in your gut, you grab his hand and shyly smile at him, trying to reason with yourself that at least if you go back to your place, Hobi and Yoongi will check up on you. He takes the action as wordless approval, giving you another wet, sloppy kiss that makes the stone in your stomach feel even heavier.

He discards your fingers and moves to tugging on your wrists in a way that makes them ache. The ice pick of dread starts chipping away at the corners of your mind. He hasn’t given you a reason so far to think he’ll freak if you back out now, but the way he starts leading you towards the exit ties a knot in your throat. Soon you’re practically being dragged across the room. As heavy as the stone in your stomach is, it does nothing to slow him down.

“Jihoon. Hey, slow down! Wait a sec!”

It’s too late. Your shoulder hits the doorframe and you wince as hot pain radiates from the point of impact. Oh, that’s definitely going to bruise.

“Dude!” You wrench yourself away from his grip, nursing the growing welt on your shoulder.

He raises his eyebrows and turns back to face you, concern burdening his features. A light rain begins to blanket the two of you. “Oh, you should be more careful, Y/N. Are you okay?”

Despite the fact that he practically slammed you into the door on the way out of the building, you start to feel guilty for causing him to worry as he begins fussing over you. His fingers ghost over the hand you have clamped down over the ache.

“I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to,” you mumble, attempting to shake off the anxiety in your gut. “But I need you to slow down. You don’t even know where I live.”

“So show me,” he prods, trailing his fingers to your chin. “I’m just so excited to be with you.”

You can hear Hobi’s voice in your head, backing the unsettling feeling traveling throughout your body. Stop making excuses. Ghost him!

You pull your head back, trying to gather the willpower to be brave and back out. “Okay… But-- I-I…” You allow a nervous chuckle to pass your lips. “Look, I-I don’t think tonight is gonna work. I’m sorry. I’m just feeling kind of sick.”

The smile on his face falls. Before he can respond, Jennie’s voice cuts through the sound of rain pattering nearby cars. “Hey!”

He looks over at the sound, furrowing his brow when he sees Namjoon walking out behind your friend.

Showing up to watch, Friend Zone?

Jihoon loudly sighs. “You know what, I’m feeling kind of sick too. Sick of you saying one thing and really wanting another.”

You blink, jaw dropping open. “Excuse me?”

“You’re a fucking tease. Always giving those bedroom eyes, telling me how much you want me, how bad you want to fuck me,” he declares, raising his volume as he watches Namjoon stop dead in his tracks.

Your face grows hot, despite the mist gathered on your cheeks. “H-Hold on. I-I never---”

“But you got this shy act going so I played along. For a bit. You want to play games again. Trying to tell me you want to wait, but I know you don’t. You were the one putting my hands all over your body earlier, practically begging me to fuck you out in the open the way you were pressing that ass into me.”

You can’t believe the words coming out of his mouth right now. Is this really happening right now? It’s a nightmare. You’ll wake up any second now. Everything he’s saying is a fucking lie. So why do you feel so ashamed, so guilty?

“You know what, Jihoon?” you pipe up, the distress in your voice apparent as the shrill words escape. “You’re being a real douche right now.”

“Yeah, well you’re being a real prude for someone who is maybe a six at best,” he snorts. “And god you’re fucking boring. You should be thanking me for even considering sleeping with you.”

The words shock your system and you stand for a few seconds just processing all of the hurtful things he just said. Suddenly the heat in your cheeks radiates throughout your chest. You feel like a fucking moron. Rage. Regret. Shame. Self-loathing. Everything hits you like a truck at once, culminating into a bubbling pressure in your throat. You want to scream, but nothing comes out except for the boiling tears streaking down your cheeks. Your hand flies up, landing across his face with a satisfying smack.

Realizing what you’ve done, your eyes go wide and then clamp shut in recoil as he raises his hand to retaliate. But the blow never lands. When you open your eyes Namjoon has his hand clamped around Jihoon’s wrist, glaring daggers at the man.

“You do not fucking touch her,” he growls. “You better get the fuck out of here before I beat your ass for even thinking about it.”

Your brain has already shut down by the time Jennie grabs your waist to pull you back into a bear hug from behind. Jihoon ticks his jaw and clenches his fists, tearing himself from Namjoon’s grip. When Tae, Hobi, and Jungkook appear by his side, it seems like he reconsiders the punch he was about to throw and backs away.

“You can have her. She’s not worth it.”

Your friends stand in front of you, an unmoving daisy chain of rage as the tears fall from your face along with the apologies on your lips. Namjoon is the last to turn around, but he’s the only person you can focus on as your body convulses with the emotional distress coursing through it. You’re soon enveloped in a group hug, pressed with a deadly tightness against Namjoon’s chest. It doesn’t make you feel any less broken, but it does make you feel grateful to have such a supportive and caring family. What would you have done if they weren’t here tonight? You shudder to think about it.

Namjoon’s fingers press against the back of your head as you spew snotted, muffled sorry’s into his shirt. He’s still holding you long after everyone else has let go, offering comforting words, making sure you know you have nothing to apologize for. In this moment, the world falls away, the pain falls away, and the only thing that matters is the overflowing love you can feel emanating from the man before you.

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