#this was the song that made me fall in love with Tori | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

forlix · 5 months

Text

‧ ❆ ˚ 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐚𝐬 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐝 (besides myself)・l.f.

— you spend three years loving him, six months losing him, and four hours waiting for him to get the hell out of your house. but the human heart is more stubborn than you know.

words・5.4k

pairing・lee felix x gn!reader

genres・babysitter!au, girldad!lix, nobody look at me, toothrotting fluff, more angst than originally intended tbh, exes to lovers, hurt/comfort, happy ending yayyy, non-linear storyline

warnings・cousin has a korean name and experiences one (1) minor head bump, mc is temporarily heartbroken and experiences one (1) breakdown

playlist・house song by searows・glad by tori kelly・let's pretend by del water gap・you were good to me by jeremy zucker

a/n・hiiii my loves, i'm so unbelievably excited to bring u my first contribution to my and @astraystayyh's collaboration, "winter falls" ♡ every time i write for our ray of sunshine i'm reminded of how thankful i am to love him. this fic ruined me. hope it does the same to you (smile)

I. everything

“One day,” you muttered to the toddler sitting on your shoulders, “you’ll experience something deeply, irreversibly humbling, and I’ll be there to witness your downfall.”

Byeol responded to this with an unbothered babble. She then gathered two handfuls of your hair and yanked using far too much force to be biologically possible.

You folded like a lawn chair. “Mother—!”

Oh, that word was not suitable for button-sized ears.

“—oh, my dear mother, why? Why me?”

Technically speaking, your aunt should’ve been the target of your lamentations, but all she did was produce the child presently steering you around the kitchen like you were her own personal bumper car. Your own mother was the one who volunteered you to watch said child during the first weekend of your winter break. Only for an hour until the babysitter arrives, she’d said (raising her voice, so as to be heard over your groaning).

You adored Byeol. She made scarily accurate chipmunk sounds and possessed an immobilizing fear of grapes. She bust out a dance move before she took her first steps. The girl could have you floored with laughter without being able to say more than three words at a time. Still, this was far from how you imagined onsetting your desperately-needed few weeks off. Not to mention it was now half past three; your shift should’ve ended two minutes ago.

As if on cue, the doorbell rang. Byeol emitted an excited onomatopoeia like a golden retriever detecting the mailman. Your reaction wasn’t too far off; you swiveled your head in the sound’s direction, sang out “coming!” in a delighted vibrato, and twirled into the foyer, your hands around Byeol’s ankles anchoring her in place.

You cracked open the door and found yourself face-to-face with Byeol’s babysitter. The freckles scattered across his high cheekbones and sloping nose seemed to you like they were imprinted by the sun itself. His hair was dark, falling just shy of pitch black, and long, ending an inch or so below pierced ears. A few misbehaving strands rested over his forehead but did little to obstruct your view of his eyes: profoundly brown and pointed at either end, like poinsettia petals.

He was the most beautiful man you’d ever seen. You felt your skin warm, your heart flip. You opened your mouth.

Then Byeol hit her head against the vertical edge of the front door, loud enough for it to echo.

The panic that seized you in that moment was truly unlike anything you’d experienced before. You caught one glimpse of the stranger’s expression (as mortified as you expected), and then you were seeing your own epitaph on the inside of your eyelids, engraved with the four words “Death by Furious Aunt.”

“Was that—?” The man sputtered, and his voice was rich and full and accented and just as breathtaking as the rest of him and holy fucking shit now was not the time.

“My fucking god,” you whispered, completely forgetting to watch your mouth. In a hurry, you swung Byeol off your shoulders and dropped to a knee. You leaned in close to examine her reddening forehead and cradled the plush of her cheek; she blinked at you a few times, fascinated by the sudden sight of your face again.

“You okay, Byeollie? That hurt a lot, didn’t it? I’m so, so sorr—”

Byeol started to laugh.

Not laugh as in those little chuckles she let out randomly, like there was something inherently amusing about the kitchen cupboard, but laugh as in a boisterous, resounding guffaw, like a great-uncle at a family gathering off one too many martinis.

This rendered you speechless for the second time in under a minute. Then, you lifted your other hand to cradle her other cheek, her face now sandwiched between your palms, and squeezed.

“I broke my cousin,” you whispered, your voice was so deathly serious that the man in the doorway had to stifle a laugh of his own.

His knee brushed against your shin as he sat down to your left, folding his legs into a criss-cross. You could discern notes of lavender and orange blossoms in the delicate cologne that clung to him, perforated the air and your mind both.

“Can I?” He asked.

“Please.”

Carefully, you shifted Byeol’s small frame towards him; the manner in which he accepted her was so smooth and practiced that there was no doubt in your mind you were watching a professional at work. He settled her on his right knee, then dipped his head to look her in the eye.

“Hi, princess,” he cooed with a dulcet smile. He curved his pointer finger, dusted it beneath her chin. “Why are you laughing, silly girl?”

Oh.

You might just continue your lineage after all.

“Y/N-ie,” she answered, still tittering.

He looked to you with a slight tilt to his head, and you nodded affirmatively. He murmured a quiet ah. “What about Y/N-ie?”

Somehow you sensed that she was about to embarrass you and pinched the bridge of your nose—in preparation.

“P-pretty.” I knew it!

The man let out the laugh he’d been holding back since earlier and tapped on her button nose, lowered his voice to a whisper that he knew you could hear.

“I agree.” His eye glinted playfully, matching his tone. “And so are you.” The bashful, high-pitched giggle she responded with sounded eerily similar to your inner monologue.

The two of you spent a little longer on the floor of the foyer making sure Byeol was okay, and then the girl upped and made a mad dash for the kitchen while yelling something about a horse, and if that didn’t confirm that she was completely fine (albeit incredibly strange) you didn’t know what would. You found her rolling around the carpet in the room adjacent to the kitchen and left her to her own devices while you and her babysitter fixed up a small fruit plate for her afternoon snack. No grapes, of course.

He told you he usually went by Felix, but that his Korean name was probably easier for Byeol to pronounce, with its easier consonants and whatnot. You asked which name he preferred, and he said either or. He was a recent college graduate, a year older than you, who was determined to spend at least the next two years doing nothing but working out his future. He accepted the part-time babysitting position to pick up some light cash in the process.

“And ‘cause I’m good with kids,” he added, splitting apart a tangerine. “So I’ve been told.”

“Oh, you definitely are,” you said, plating a couple blueberries. “You melted her earlier.”

“She melted me. She’s so cute. And you’re so cute with her—I didn’t realize I was robbing someone of their job.”

You turned your head to regard the tot and let out a helpless laugh. Byeol tired of being a human lint roller a few minutes ago and had since moved on to staring aimlessly out the window.

“She doesn’t take me seriously, and I can’t stay mad at her,” you mused. “I would be a nightmare as her babysitter, trust me. She’s all yours.”

Felix held out two overturned handfuls of tangerine slices, to which you quickly moved the platter across the counter. He didn’t respond to your comments as he placed them on the outermost edge so that they looked like rays of sun emanating from a multicolored core. Adorable.

“Will you be around much, then?”

You made eye contact with him across the counter. On his perfect face was a teasing smirk and a subtle blush. Ah, you’d been mistaken, writing off his silence as concentration—he’d been contemplating how to best flirt with you.

“Y’know. In case I need any help teaching her cuss words,” he appended.

It was then your turn to flush a couple shades darker. “Please don’t tell her mom.”

“I won’t, I won’t.” He walked around the perimeter of the counter until he was directly in front of you; the lavender and orange blossoms returned. “On one condition.”

Not even one hour on the job and he was already trying to blackmail you? You respected it. “Which is?”

As he shifted some of his weight onto the counter, something too shifted in his smile, giving it a quality that was every bit as hopeful as it was gentle.

It was then, while Lee Felix was looking at you like that, all dilated pupils and long lashes, when you predicted that he would one day break your heart. You predicted you’d let him.

“Be around,” he said simply.

It wasn’t a question or a demand. In hindsight, you think it was more akin to a birthday wish, ill-fated the moment it hit the air.

II. has changed

Felix pulled Byeol’s hood up and over her ears, and you realized he was right about the winter coat getting too small for her—she looked like a bowling pin. You muffled your snort into your scarf.

“And what was the last rule again?” He asked, his breath puffing into the frigid afternoon in tiny clouds. Byeol sighed like she knew anything of the world’s woes.

“No barking at other kids,” came the sad reply, but a toothy smile spread across her face anyways when Felix nudged the underside of her chin. She loved when he did that.

“That’s my girl,” he hummed. “I believe in you.”

“I’ll believe it when I see it,” you said, and the wounded look Felix shot you was like you’d just confessed to hating kittens. “Come on—she doesn’t have a good track record. I’m allowed to have my doubts.”

“I dunno what that means,” Byeol announced with admirable frankness, and then turned around and scurried down the porch stairs, scattering fun-sized footprints across the snowy streets.

As you braced yourself to follow her, Felix stopped you with a slip of his hand into the pocket of your puffer. His fingers first aligned with yours inside the insulated nylon, then chased the spaces in between. He leaned in close, placed a kiss on the apple of your cheek, another on the corner of your mouth. This brought a helpless smile to your face, too. He had a way of melting you and Byeol both.

“It’ll be fine,” he soothed. “A little barking never hurt anybody, baby.”

“Lix, last time somebody called animal control.”

“Ermm—a little barking never hurt most people.”

That winter, Byeol was four, and your relationship with Felix was about to turn two.

Funnily enough, you’d never figured out when your anniversary actually was. Felix wagered it was the day you met, as he knew he loved you the instant he saw you; you insisted it was months later, since it took both of you an entire winter break of open-ended flirting and informal dating to label yourselves for real. Imagine your horror when he showed up outside your college apartment on the last day of your fall semester, arms overflowing with flowers and gift bags brimming with your favorite things, the phrase “happy anniversary” on his lips three months before you perceived it to be. You’ve celebrated both days ever since.

You loved the ocean growing up. You didn’t get to visit it often, but when you did you would run up to the water’s very edge so that your toes dipped into the cold—and just stand there, observing, absorbing, until even the seam of your lips and the ends of your eyelashes were studded with crystals of seasalt. You found endless tranquility in its rhythmic whispers and unspeakable comfort in its oscillating waves, guaranteed to return after momentary departure.

Your fascination stemmed from the folktale your mother used to read to you before bed, about a sun goddess creating the earth. In the story, every component of nature was one of the sun’s beloved children. She allegedly loved them all, but you suspected the ocean was her favorite; it was obvious, the way she twinkled off its ebbing surface, the way every minuscule spot of light looked to you like a handprint of hers, left behind by eons of endless doting.

Felix reminded you of the ocean. Every day you grew more certain that you wanted to drown in him, to let his resonant voice and kind eyes sweep and keep you inside his depths. It was never salt that he pressed into your skin but warmth, stamped and sealed with caring hands and cautious lips. His deep whispers promised eternal love and temporary ecstasy and everything in between. You knew he would come back to you even if stranded in a different realm. And there was no questioning the goddess’ favoritism, either. The freckles on his face mirrored the sun’s very spots like an homage to his creator.

You didn’t love the ocean growing up, no. You had never loved before Felix.

The park was busy when the three of you arrived. Byeol and Felix recognized a few families as your aunt’s neighbors and hurried over to say hello. Your social butterflies.

“I’ll be over there,” you called after them.

Felix stopped in his tracks, looked over his shoulder. It had started snowing lightly on your walk there, and snowflakes now sat atop his sable locks. He looked like a painting. “You okay?”

“Yes, yes.” You shooed them off. “Don’t worry about me. Go have fun.”

With that, you withdrew to the sidelines, an unoccupied swingset adjacent to a baseball diamond covered in frost.

Your baby cousin was brawny for her age, which you could’ve seen coming with how she was hauling at your hair two years ago, but even she couldn’t yet terrorize the playground without assistance. Who better to make her partner in crime than her favorite Bokkie? You couldn’t help but giggle as the two revolved around each other for the better part of an hour, Byeol’s smile colossal as she frolicked every which way, Felix’s smile worried but hopelessly endeared as he followed behind. He never let her leave his shadow. She never tried to.

It was there on those icy swings that you experienced a moment of strange clarity, like you’d broken the fourth wall of your own story. You could feel the winds of change blowing your hair across your shoulders. You were aware of time’s trickling from the gaps of your fingers like liquid mercury.

Your laughter dissipated to a bittersweet smile; your smile mellowed to dewy eyes. It seemed like just yesterday when Byeol was small enough to sit on your shoulders and Felix stepped into your kitchen for the first time. Now, she was scaling a rope ladder with the celerity of a crazed monkey while Felix hovered a wary hand by her waist. The muted sunlight caught on the silver rings he wore, particularly the thin, bright one on his middle finger. You had one just like it, adorning the same place.

The last two years were the happiest of your life. Why couldn’t you remember where they went?

Lavender and orange blossoms announced your boyfriend’s arrival—that, and the sigh of fatigue that he expelled as he dropped into the swing next to you.

“I’m not cut out for this anymore.”

Byeol’s neighbor had temporarily relieved Felix of his post by taking her and his son to test out the seesaw, and you wouldn’t be surprised if the whole town could hear her enthusiastic shrieking.

“You know how people walk their dogs?” You mused. “Some dogs walk their people. She’s one of them.”

For a moment, he could only stare in disbelief at the grin creeping across your face; then, he groaned in a way that could only mean you were right on the money. You gave his thigh a sympathetic pat.

“You’re whipped, my love. It’s okay.”

“Maybe a little,” he admitted, suddenly perking up. “Hey, no barking though.”

“Are we considering that a win nowadays?”

“Do you see animal control anywhere?”

“Good point.”

Felix monitored your expression during the quiet interval that ensued—saw through the melancholy curve of your lips, the pensive slant of your gaze. There was a red tinge to the whites of your eyes that hadn’t been there before.

You saw him reach for you in your periphery. His fingers brushed a lock of hair behind the shell of your ear, remained there for three slow heartbeats, and then lifted away.

“Angel,” he murmured. “Talk to me.”

You shook your head. “It’s silly.”

“It’s not.” Not even ten seconds after the last time, he reached for you again, now to take your hand and bring it to his lap. “You know it’s not.”

“It’s just that—”

Felix thumbed over the ridges of your knuckles, his touch so gentle that it could’ve unraveled a chrysalis; it certainly unraveled you. You took a stabilizing breath.

“I wish could recognize my own happiness in the moment,” you sighed, “not just in retrospect. That way, even when it comes to an end, I’d still be able to look back and say with confidence that I was happy once. I’d like that, I think.”

His brows knit together as he processed your words, and, the next thing you knew, he left his swing trembling in his sudden absence and his trenchcoat became a black blur in the cold air.

Felix rested his elbows atop your knees as he knelt in front of you, cradled your face in his hands. He was achingly beautiful always, but you truly felt your breath swiped from your lungs at the new proximity of his ethereal features: petal-shaped eyes, wind-bitten cheeks, coral cupid’s bow. A painting.

“That’s easy enough,” Felix hummed. “How do you feel right now?”

You had zero agency in the smile this brought to your face. You wrapped your hands around his wrists, your answer quick, thoughtless. “Happy.”

He pressed his lips to the space between your eyes. “And now?”

“Happier.”

He pressed his lips to the curve of your jaw. “What about now?”

“Even happier.”

His gaze flickered to his final destination, but you beat him to it, sealing your mouth against his with urgency. The kiss that followed was so intensely loving that your head went fuzzy. How was it that you felt his adoration for you even in his pliant lips, his velvet tongue? You ran your fingers through the part of his hair. You loved when you could feel the locks flutter back into place afterwards.

“GET A ROOM!”

You and Felix pulled away from one another, wearing matching expressions of bewilderment. Byeol was approximately five Newtons away from soaring off into the stratosphere, her legs jostling around as she clung to her seat for dear life. It seemed your neighbor had a very aggressive way of seesaw-maneuvering. It seemed your cousin had a very aggressive vocabulary.

“Where did she learn—?” The two of you began in unison, then shot your heads back towards each other.

“It had to be you.”

“Outrageous—you’re the Australian here!”

“You cuss like one too!”

“Because of you!”

“So we’re just lying now?”

“Well, yes.”

Felix cracked a smile—and then the two of you were dying of laughter, his right eye squinting closed and your forehead thudding onto his shoulder. You hardly managed to get out your next words. “We have to do something about her vernacular, don’t we?”

“Oh, badly,” he replied. “Badly.”

After you expended your giggles, you nuzzled into the crook of his neck, blissful, glowing. “Thank you, baby.”

“What for?”

“Being my happiness.”

He angled your face back to his and kissed you once more, whispering I love you like it wasn’t enough that it graced your ears; he needed it embossed upon your flesh in permanent ink.

Your intermingled breaths floated up into the air like flare signals over a capsizing boat. Here marks the time we were happiest.

III. (besides myself)

He’s blonde.

That’s the first thing you notice when you see your ex-boyfriend on your aunt’s porch: the slightly off-white color of his silky tresses, grown out longer than you’ve ever seen, pushed off his forehead and tucked behind his ears.

It’s not the only thing you notice, of course. His face has thinned ever so slightly, the shadows thrown over his features by the streetlights behind him particularly opaque. His outfit is glorious, expensive, with the black blazer and white dress shirt, the top two buttons undone, the pendant of a silver necklace resting between toned collarbones. His hands are almost overflowing with what must be gifts for your family. It’s impossible to discern all of them from this distance, but you know the bouquet of white poinsettias is for your mom, the batch of brownies doused in sprinkles and icing for Byeol.

But the hair is where your gaze returns, because tucked among the platinum strands are black roots: millimeters of the color you grew to adore, peeking out as if trying to catch a glimpse of you, too.

You’re so occupied with this game of “I spy” that you don’t notice the rampant footsteps coming up behind you. Your six-year-old cousin collides with the back of your leg head-on and nearly topples you like a bowling pin.

“Is it him?” She asks breathlessly.

You come this close to berating her as you steady yourself against the wall—what did I say about treating human beings like couch cushions? But you look down to see her chin resting on the side of your thigh, her eager eyes shining so brightly that she puts her own namesake to shame. Your scolding tirade dissolves on your tongue like popping candy.

You simply sigh instead. “Yes, but—”

“BOKKIE!” She shrieks, and Felix’s head snap upwards at the sound of her voice. His tender smile melts some of the frost laminating your heart.

You crack open the door, making eye contact with Felix for the first time in six months.

“Put everything down. Quickly,” you whisper, and he obeys right away, alarmed by the urgency in your voice. A wise choice.

The last present has hardly touched down upon the wooden planks when Byeol wriggles through the doorway and charges towards Felix like an angered toro. He swivels at her bright holler of his name, lowers himself to a squat just barely in time to catch her in his embrace. The delighted laugh that leaves his mouth as he staggers backwards sounds like the sun itself; you feel lost in orbit hearing it again.

“Bokkie,” Byeol murmurs, her voice muffled in the dip of his shoulder, by the tightening of her arms around his neck.

“Hi, princess.” He kisses her temple, presses his nose against her hair. “Whoa, you’ve grown strong, haven’t you?”

“She takes taekwondo classes now,” you hum from above, and the shock in his face asks the very question that your poignant smile confirms. Yes, because of you.

Felix pulls away, cocoons her cheeks with cherishing hands. “Is that true?”

She bobs her head. “I want to be like Bokkie.”

And his eyes go impossibly, terribly soft, like he’s gazing at the horizon itself. The sight twists the knife in your gut and yanks on your tangled heartstrings. It’s all because of you.

“And kick some ass!” Byeol adds, knocking you out of your sentimental spiral. You clap a defeated hand to your forehead. Felix falls over himself. So much for fixing her vernacular.

A few minutes later, Byeol is pirouetting towards the kitchen with a couple of Felix’s smaller presents in her arms, all too happy to be of help. You linger behind as Felix takes off his shoes, your cousin’s departure leaving the two of you alone in the dim foyer.

Felix straightens. The two of you come face to face. The air hangs so heavily with unspoken words that you half expect it to start dripping.

“Hi,” he says.

You nearly laugh at the cruelty of it. The man you were certain you’d grow old with greeting you like you’ve been forced to sit next to each other on the first day of school.

“Hi,” you answer. “You look—”

The two of you say this last part in unison; old habits die hard.

“—nice,” you finish.

“—beautiful,” Felix breathes, his eyes flicking off to the side abashedly.

Your throat constricts, pulse quickens. Says you. If he was a painting before, you think he’s a sculpture now, his perfection as tangible as if hand-chiseled by the greatest artists of old. As clear as the sun’s beloved sea. You can’t tell if it’s his stylist’s doing or simply a product of him growing into himself.

“Thank you,” you reply quietly. “And thank you for coming.”

“Thank you for inviting me. I didn’t think you would.”

“I didn’t do it for me.”

No part of you wants to see the subtle wince that crosses his face at your statement, so you turn your gaze to his jewelry-laden hands instead.

For a split second, you swear you see the same promise ring settled in the same place on his middle finger. You realize what you’re really looking at only after blinking the phosphenes from your eyes: the thin tanline that it left behind. The realization fixes and destroys you all at once.

Then, Byeol starts wailing about Felix’s whereabouts like an actress hired to spare you from this very interaction.

“Her Highness beckons.” The smile you manage feels like drying cement. “Shall we?”

On your way to the kitchen, you notice the cologne emanating from his person smells only of citrus—no lavender. Its absence steadies you, deludes you into believing that it’s a stranger you’ve just let inside.

That illusion lasts for exactly three hours and forty-eight minutes.

It’s clear that the breakup has your family walking on eggshells, but it’s even clearer that their adoration for Felix has never wavered. You’ve never resigned yourself to the restroom so many times in one night, only to stand with your back against the door, unmoving, unfeeling, listening to the low thrum of his voice through the mahogany. Chatting comfortably with your aunt, bursting into laughter with Byeol, reminding you of the time you considered him family too.

With every glance you toss your reflection, you discover new cracks in your composure. Has he noticed them yet?

After you come out of the restroom for the sixth time, you notice a light spilling from Byeol’s bedroom into the hallway. A low Australian accent graces your ears, followed closely by a tinkling giggle, and your body nudges you towards the sounds before your head can intervene.

You give your cousin’s door a feather-light nudge. It opens a few centimeters more and grants you vision of Byeol tucked into bed, Felix knelt at her side. Both of their faces are illuminated by the flaxen light of the nearby lamp.

Felix brushes her choppy bangs out of her eyes, a teasing smile on his lips. “Can I tell you a secret, princess?”

This wrests from her another fluttering laugh; you swear he’s the only person in the whole world who makes her shy. “Sure!”

“Promise you won’t tell anyone?”

“Promise.”

“Not even Snernard.”

“M’kay.”

“Or Bong.”

“M’kay.”

“Especially not Trash the chicken. I don’t trust him.”

“I know, I know, I won’t!” Byeol huffs, and Felix laughs at her outburst. You also snort into your sleeve, amused (and deeply perplexed) by your cousin’s plushie-naming conventions.

“Thank you,” he hums, and he lowers his voice enough that you don’t catch the next thing he says.

All you perceive is the way that Byeol reacts. She sits up straight in bed, resting her back against her pillow. Her features rearrange themselves slowly, awfully, like the spread of cherry-flavored cough syrup over one’s sore throat, into the furthest thing from her trademark too-big-for-her-face smile.

Your stomach plummets to your fucking ankle.

“Why?” Her voice sounds microscopic.

“Well, do you remember what Bokkie’s dream job is?”

Byeol considers for a moment. “Being a singer?”

“That’s right.” He runs a knuckle over the hill of her cheek, the action achingly familiar, immensely fond. “And I found a place where I can do that, but it’s very, very far away. I won’t be able to come home very often.”

The telltale signs appear as he speaks; the final word sets them into motion. A tear streaks down the side of Byeol’s face. It hardly leaves the corner of her eye before it’s being intercepted by a doting swipe of his thumb.

“No,” she replies.

“You've grown so much.” Another tear falls. He wipes away that one, too. “You’re growing so well.”

“No,” she repeats.

“You’ve stolen the light of every star in the sky already. The whole galaxy will be yours someday, sweetheart. I know it.”

“I don’t want it,” she whispers. “I want my Bokkie.”

His vision starts to blur also. “But you don’t need me anymore.”

“We do.”

You know the precise moment Felix’s heart pauses in his chest because it is when yours does too.

“We?” He repeats, and she nods.

“Your dream job is being a singer.” Now Byeol is the one to reach for Felix, her delicate hand cupping the curve of his cheek. Her fingers are too small to catch his tears, she tries anyways—

“But what is your dream?”

It becomes too much for you.

You turn around. A choked sob escapes from behind the hand you have sealed to your mouth, causing both heads inside Byeol’s room to whirl in your direction. You don’t care that you nearly break both of your ankles beelining up the stairs; you only care to get the fuck out of that hallway.

You topple into your room, close the door behind you, and crumble.

Your quivering hands find purchase around your folded legs; your eyes squeeze shut against your knees. Rivulets of tears cascade over your shuddering lips like ruptured barrels of wine, left in the cellars of your soul to age, to spoil.

You never wanted your grief to see the light of day. Pouring your regret over every sidewalk wouldn’t change the past. Splashing your heartache across every wall like the world’s most fucked-up mural wouldn’t alleviate the pain of losing him. He was the one who left, but you were the one who’d asked him to. Feeling, yearning, mourning. Those always seemed so futile.

But you’re not just crying in this moment, rocking back and forth on your bedroom floor; you’re bleeding, the wounds you never treated igniting all at once as if exposed to vinegar, leaving you writhing and gasping in their wake. How you wish they’d been able to heal sooner. Maybe then seeing Felix tonight wouldn’t have splintered your soul like dropped porcelain.

Your door clicks open. Your breath hitches in your throat with a quiet scratch. The gulp of oxygen you intake tastes of oranges.

Every night before you fall asleep, you still think of the last time you visited the sea. The cool sand chafing against your toes, the coarse winds slapping your hair against your face hard enough to sting. The weather was terrible (you neglected to check the forecast before making the drive), but when you stepped onto the embittered coastline, you took what felt like the first real breath of your young adulthood. The fog melded to your skin as if melting a blindfold away, showing you the world in its entirety.

You return to that beach when Felix pulls you into his chest, and there’s no fog this time. Just the faint smell of lavender and your ocean, guaranteed to return after momentary departure.

Feverishly, Felix presses his lips to your temple, the apple of your cheek, rests his forehead against yours. Brokenly, he utters, “it’s you.”

You can feel his shaking in every part of him: the tickling breath, the fluttering eyelashes, the unsteady hand that reaches into the pocket of his blazer. You graze your fingers over his jaw, an attempt to steady his careening heart, only to lose yours in the fray also when he produces a small red box of unmistakable dimensions.

“God, it’s you. It always has been, always will be. Anything can change except for this.” His voice disintegrates as he speaks. You disintegrate as you listen. “Everything has changed besides myself.”

Felix leans back in to pepper kisses across the expanse of your wet features, then brings himself to one fated knee. He flicks open the lid. You don’t even spare the ring a glance; you don’t doubt its perfection. All you care to look at is the love of your life, deliquesced to adoration and tearwater.

“Thank you for being around, my dream.” His soft smile tends to your scars like ambrosia. “Will you let me do the same?”

🔖 (send an ask to be added)・@astraystayyh・@like-a-diamondinthesky・@fire-08・@starsandrqindrops・@txtxlz・@laylasbunbunny・@strayghibli・@nuronhe・@seungminsapuppy・@vivisoni・@skzms・@moon0fthenight・@sweetpickledjins・@svintsandghosts・@nhyunn ・@ur-boyfiend ・@liknws・@hotgorloikawa・@randomwimp ♡

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kitten4sannie · 1 year

Text

23 - ᴄʜᴇᴀᴛɪɴɢ/ᴄʀᴇᴀᴍᴘɪᴇ - ꜱᴀɴ

ᴀɴɢᴇʟ ꜰʀᴏᴍ ᴀʙᴏᴠᴇ

pairing: business man! san x stripper! reader (fem)

summary: san finds himself visiting his favorite dancer instead of going back home to his wife.

w.c: 3k

warnings: alcohol use, san and reader are both a mess, sub! leaning san, dom leaning! reader, cheating, lap dance, grinding, unprotected sex, creampie

a/n: shoutout to the anon for giving me this idea by sharing this vid whewwwwww this is for you <3 also i struggled sm trying to explain what she was doing on the pole im so sorry loll

btw some song recs would be fwm by tone stith, me by summer walker, lavender sunflower by tory lanez, and the weekend by sza

FFF Masterlist

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Sitting in an almost-empty office, San stared blankly at the monitor in front of him, knowing he finished his work early but finding himself reluctant to pack up and go home. Why wouldn't he want to go home? He had a beautiful wife waiting for him, who was probably pulling something yummy out of the oven. Maybe she was even wearing a cute little apron, hoping he would come home and see her in it. Yet, he found himself thinking about the dancer he met a few months ago at the gentlemen's club just around the corner from his work. There was even an ATM right outside of it, just asking him to take out hundreds of dollars and spend it all on her.

"Hey, San," his coworker said, putting his hands on San's tense shoulders and patting them, noticing that he had shut his computer down and was putting some files away into his suitcase. "Heading home?"

San stood up and slicked his hair back, allowing a few strands to fall onto his forehead. "Yep," he replied shortly, giving the man a polite smile and walking past him, hoping he couldn't somehow tell that he was about to cheat. Well, it wasn't technically cheating, right? It was pretty much the same thing as looking at those certain magazines that they sold at gas stations, but just in real life. It’s not like he was sleeping with you. He still loved his wife. He did. He really did. He just needed to see you one more time. After this, he was done. He was certain of it.

"Are you coming in or not?" the oversized bouncer asked in a deep voice, looking at the anxious, sweating businessman idly standing in front of the open club door with a thousand dollars just sitting inside his black tailored pants.

Fixing his glasses out of habit, he let out a nervous laugh, nodding his head. "Yep, I'm coming in. Uh, have a good night." He gave the man a weak wave and shuffled past him, making his way through the long hallway past some patrons and a few dancers. When San made it into the main room, he was immediately bathed in crimson lighting, dark and seductive, like he had stepped foot into hell. He might as well have. He was ready to sin.

After he was done taking in his surroundings, he headed to the bar and sat down at the seat that had the best view of the main stage. "Your usual, Mr. Choi?" the bartender asked, wiping a pint glass with a rag, noticing how San simply sat still on his stool and scanned the various platforms on the other side of the room.

You weren't anywhere to be seen. Would you be coming out soon? You always worked on Friday nights. Maybe you were in the back getting ready. Probably putting some glitter on your eyelids and drawing a tiny heart near your cheek with some eyeliner. It was the cutest thing. You were always so cute, like a pretty little angel. Yet, when you got on stage, you would always give him this look. Like you were picturing all the things he could do to you, and all the things you could do to him, maybe even right there where everyone could watch. That’s when you reminded him that you were actually sin incarnate. But he knew that already. And he didn't mind.

"Mr. Choi?" the man tried again, holding out a glass filled with ice, tea, and various amounts of alcohol. "Your long island ice tea."

San snapped his head back towards the man, taking the glass and nodding his head. "Thanks, man." He brought the straw up to his lips and sucked the drink down, delighted that it got rid of the remaining guilt he felt, idly glancing around the room again, this time scanning the various men sitting in their seats, some with a dancer in their lap. None of them were you.

The bartender shook his head, leaning his forearms on the table below. "Are you waiting for Angel to come out, Mr. Choi?"

Halfway through his drink, San choked on some of the liquid, swallowing it down anyway and clearing his throat. Pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose, he faced the man again, a slight frown forming. "Am I that obvious?"

The man smiled to himself, glancing over to the main stage entrance, knowing you would be coming out soon. "She talks about you a lot, you know. She's constantly asking when we think you'll come back."

This was news to him. Sure, you were always friendly and flirty with him. Always referring to him as "Mr. Business Man" or "Sannie." The second was his favorite. It always made him melt. His wife wouldn't even call him that anymore. Said it was childish. Though, when you said it, with that coy look on your face and batting your long eyelashes at him, the only thoughts he had were inexplicably adult. Maybe you were into him. You. His angel. That changed things. And at this point, he was already in too deep, so why not get buried?

"What does she say about me?" San probed, drinking the rest of the tea down until he was sucking on the ice at the bottom of the glass. Warmth flooded his brain and body, encouraging him to unbutton his black blazer and pull it off. As he carefully draped it over the bar counter, everything around him began slowing down to a crawl.

"That you're her favorite," the man replied softly, idly glancing at the silver ring San was wearing on his ring finger, then walking over to serve another customer. It wasn't any of his business. He was just a bartender. He tapped the table near San, motioning his head to the main stage. "She's on, by the way."

Spinning around in his seat, San felt like all the air inside his lungs suddenly dissipated. His reddened eyes focused on your curvy figure appearing out of the darkness of the stage entrance, his eyes traveling along your almost naked body. You were wearing a matching set like you always did. This time, you were wearing a tiny black latex bra, the nonexistent cups barely covering your nipples, your tits practically spilling out of them. He gulped so hard, he almost swallowed his Adam's apple by accident. An equally black, equally nonexistent thong clung tightly to your hips and pelvis, one micro-movement away from having everyone see your pretty pink–

"Pussy," said a random drunk man sitting next to San, throwing back a shot of vodka. When San gave him a dirty look, the man shook his head. "Don't just stare at her, bro. Go sit in that chair over there and let her know you like her. Trust me. Angel's worth it."

Turning away form the guy in silence, San undid his tie and laid it over his jacket, trusting that the bartender would look after it for him. Putting the image of his wife sitting at the empty dinner table by herself, San quickly made his way past a few tables and booths, eventually sitting down in the empty seat near the front section of the stage.

Taking a few drawn out steps around the pole, you ran a hand up your body, your hips swaying along to the slow, thumping beats of the song playing through the surrounding speakers. Like a snake hypnotizing its prey before striking. Once you grabbed the pole and moved your body in a slow wavelike motion, you turned around and leaned your body back against it, gazing down at your favorite businessman. Your eyes surveyed his lap, wondering if the visible tent in his work pants was a stack of cash or his hard cock. Either was fine with you.

"Angel..." San murmured to himself, unconsciously spreading his thick thighs apart, hoping you could read his lips. He slipped his hand into his pocket, pulling some of the cash into his tense hand.

Once the song picked up a bit, the bass still so intense it vibrated through your chest, you propelled yourself forward and climbed onto the pole like it was second nature, hooking one of your legs onto it, moving around the pole in steady circles. Sighing, you slid a hand up from your abdomen, up and over one of your tits, then up your neck. Everyone's eyes were on you, though you couldn't blame them. You were the true embodiment of desire. The angel that everyone wanted to defile and keep for themselves. Yet, they had no idea that you were the one who did the defiling, the corrupting, the owning. And your current target was…

"San," you whispered, running your tongue along the inside of your glossy lips, gripping the pole tight enough with one hand so that you could lean your head back. Amused by the businessman's submissive demeanor after eyeing the growing tent inside his pants, you squeezed the metal securely between your thighs, allowing you to release your hands from it and hang more upside down, slipping your fingers up underneath your bra to grab at your tits, pulling a bit on your nipple piercings for your own pleasure. You continued to spin around the pole in slow circles, the monochrome lights flashing above the stage further enhancing the hypnotic show you were putting on.

One of the men stood up and sent a stack of cash into the air, watching it rain down around you. You smiled to yourself, sitting back up to hold the pole both in front of your chest and one below near your lower abdomen, making sure you were stable. You lifted yourself up into an upside down vertical position and clenched your legs around the pole before slowly spreading them, appearing like you were doing a full split in the air. Another man followed the actions of the first, pulling some twenties out of his pocket and sending them out into the air, his hooded eyes locked on the way your ass was eating up the thin strap of your thong. All these men were like putty in your hands. Ready to give up most of their paychecks, all for the slim chance that they could fuck you for real. It was pathetic.

When the song came to a drop, you slid yourself down the bottom of the pole, slowly lowering yourself onto the cool stage in the splits, arching your back, your hands groping along your body, squeezing your tits and letting out a soft moan, though no one could hear you over the loud bass on the song. You looked up over at San, licking your lips, before you got onto your knees and crawled towards him, your heavy heels clinking against the stage with each deliberate movement. Gazing at him like a predator cornering their next meal, you eventually got to the edge of the stage and slowly sat back on your knees, running your hands slowly up your body, slowly leaning your head back and arching your back again.

Drunk with lust and alcohol, San couldn't help but readjust himself in the leather chair, the pulsing beats of the song emanating heavily inside his ears, a similar pulsing occurring below the belt. Swallowing down his nerves, he pulled a few hundreds out, waiting for you to look at him, before he leaned forward and sent them out onto the stage in front of you.

Licking your lips at the money spread out below you, your fingers snuck up to the front of your bra and popped it up, your tits dropping out of it. The men around all emitted various low sounding groans, some of them palming themselves or sliding down in their seats. San was in a similar state of desperation, his cock so hard it was about to burst out of his pants.

When the music played the sound of a woman’s moans playing alongside pulsing, synth like music, encouraging you to begin moving your hips in an up and down motion, as though you were riding an imaginary dick, making San and everyone else in the room wish it were his. You kept your eyes on the struggling businessman, grabbing at your tits, moaning softly, your eyebrows drawing together.

Not able to take it any longer, San held out three hundreds and placed it down on his crotch in between his large thighs, spreading them apart to entice you.

Drawing you in like a moth to a flame, you found yourself climbing off of the stage as elegantly as possible and taking a step up to the large leather chair he was lounging in. Once you got off, another dancer walked up to the pole to take your place, distracting all the surrounding patrons.

Straddling San’s lap once he picked the bills up, you leaned into his ear to purr, “Sannie, it’s so nice to see you back. I’ve missed you.”

San angled his head up, trying to keep his eyes on your hooded ones instead of staring at your tits that were just below his chin. “I’ve missed you more, Angel.” He reached down to slide a hundred through the strap on your hip, continuing, “I’d like a private show. I have a lot more love to give you.”

Smiling down at the hundred-dollar bill, you sat fully down on his lap, feeling his hard on pressing into your latex panties. “You always give me lots of love, Sannie. Should we go then?”

San slipped the other two hundreds into the other strap, groaning when you dragged your clothed pussy across his length. Biting at his bottom lip, he sent a suggestive smile in your direction. “Lead the way, Angel.”

In one of the small dimly lit private rooms, you hovered over San’s lap, your knees pressed into the leather couch on each side of his thighs, gyrating your hips along to the slow, pulsing music. “What’s with that look, baby?” you asked softly, running your hands down the front of San’s chest.

“You’re just so…beautiful.” He couldn’t keep his eyes off of your body, especially your tits, because they were covered in…Was that body glitter? As if you could get any hotter. He was losing his mind.

“Yeah?” you started, watching as the businessman put more cash into the straps of your nylon panties, until there were no more spaces left. “You like me better than your wife, don’t you? Is that why you’re always here and spending money on me instead of her?”

“Mm-hmm, I like you a lot, Angel,” San sighed softly, his hands roaming around the outline of your body, but not touching you.

Arching your back, your hands rested on the top of the couch behind San’s head, slowly moving your body in a slow, but fluid motion on his lap, your cunt brushing across his heavy cock still trapped inside the waistband of his pants. “If you like me so much, then touch me. Fuck me. Make me yours, Sannie.”

Entranced. Mesmerized. Seduced. Those were only a few words to describe what came over him while he was inside you, his hands all over your body, getting glitter all over himself. San didn't understand how a single person could have such a hold over him. He never experienced anything like this, and he couldn’t pull himself out of it.

Bouncing up and down on San’s length like it was your life’s mission, you wrapped your fingers around his jaw on either side, bringing his mouth towards your tits. “Suck on them, Sannie. Bite them. Spit on them. Do whatever your wife won’t let you do.”

Completely gone at this point, his cock throbbing heavily inside you, San slurped your tits up into his mouth, one at a time, biting and tugging at your nipple piercings, pulling away every so often to spit on them and watch it drip down your glittery skin. “You’re so dirty, Angel,” he huffed, squeezing your hips tightly, his ring cold against your hot body.

“Not dirty enough,” you complained, in between pants, gripping his shoulders tightly, trying to bring yourself to your peak as fast as possible. “Cum inside me, Sannie. Please.”

“Oh, fuck, Angel, I don’t think…” San gasped, losing his train of thought, as your glossy lips attached to his neck, sucking and licking, leaving a mark on him. He knew he would have to cover it up with makeup later on. “I shouldn’t…”

Tempting him further, you moved your body at a slower, more deliberate pace, wanting to draw the sin out of him. “Cum, baby, come on,” you purred into his ear, nipping and pulling at it with your teeth. “I know she never lets you cum inside, so fill me up instead…Please, Sannie…Please give it to me.”

Truly, you were an angel in every sense of the word, even letting a cheating stranger like him fill you up with his seed. How gracious of you.

“Fuck, okay, I’m–aaah–” San jerked his head back, holding onto your waist for dear life, feeling your cunt tighten around him like a vice. “Jesus, Angel, you're…oh my god.”

“What, Sannie?” you whispered near his lips, bringing yourself down onto him one last time, your body shuddering, your arousal pouring out of you and staining his work pants. “Does it feel better to fuck me than your wife? Is that it?”

“Yeah, it does. So much better.” San looked down at your lower half, his mouth hanging open, a bit of saliva dripping past his lips as his cock shot out rope after rope into your slick hole. He wished he could see it pouring into you, wanting to witness the mark he left inside your body.

You let out a satisfied sigh, lifting yourself up from his lap and collecting the bills he offered you, putting them into a neat stack. “I thought so.” Smirking to yourself, you lifted one leg up onto the couch, allowing San to watch as his load dripped out of your pulsing cunt and down your inner leg. “So, will you be coming back next Friday too, Sannie? I’ll have a new routine ready just for you~”

San simply sat there and watched the milky liquid drip down onto his stained tailored pants, knowing there was no way he’d be able to escape your angelic clutches after this. But he still loved his wife. He did. He really did. He just needed to see you a few more times. After that, he would be done.

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FFF: @hwalysm @scuzmunkie @creativechaoticloner@dilucpegg3r @yeosxxx @gemjimin @wonwowzers @sanjoongie @manipulatedstars @k-drizzle

Apply for the taglist here ⇢ ♡

#ateez #ateez smut #san #ateez san #san smut #san x reader #ateez x reader #ateez imagines #ateez scenarios #ateez x y/n #ateez x you #san x you #san x y/n #kpop smut #ateez fanfiction #ateez oneshot #ateez hard hours #february filth fest

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judgementdaysunshine · 9 months

Note

if you write for heartstopper(the graphic novels/show) I was wondering if you could do a femReader x tori spring? Just something sweet! A lil romantic ig lol

I can't find anything to do with heartstopper on any reading apps!!! 😭😭

Absolutely! I love heartstopper so much 🥺

For so long

Pairing: Tori Spring x Fem reader

Description: While listening to American movie soundtracks, it leads to a change between you and your best friend Tori

You smile as you and Tori sit on the floor in her bedroom with different snacks and drinks before looking up the soundtrack for E.T. The extra-terrestrial and listening to every song which leaves tori in awe. "That was amazing..let's find more!" you giggle as the two of you slowly listen to different movie soundtracks together from Casper, Final destination, and The outsiders to Star wars, Mulan, and Harry Potter until you guys started listening to the soundtrack for the movie Fluke, track 9 on the soundtrack made you tear up and slowly you were quietly crying as the song played, you calmed down while eating chips until tracks 13, 14, 16, and 18 made you cry more hiding your face in your hands as the tears flowed uncontrollably until you feel a hand on your wrist looking to see a teary eyed tori staring at you "I don't know why it just made me feel everything through the music" you both slowly calm down as the soundtrack for Final destination 2 starts playing. The two of you took a break and ate lunch downstairs with her brother Charlie and his boyfriend Nick who came over for the day, you joke around with the boys before going back upstairs with tori changing your clothes in the bathroom before continuing the rest of the final destination 2 soundtrack and a few other tracks before you put on Fall in the light by Graeme Revell and Lori Carson from the movie Strange days which was one of your favorite american movies after finding sets of american films from your grandmother and then more from your aunt and cousins falling in love with many of the movies you've seen especially Disney, romcom, and emotional films that changed how you saw films and acting. You notice as the song plays that tori was holding your hand which you had done together plenty of times but something about this hold was different, you notice how close the two of you were before you were nose to nose staring into each other's eyes until she closed the gap and the two of you were in a delicate and gentle kiss that felt different from the kisses you shared with two different boys one 6 months ago and the other two years earlier, you stare at her in awe as you caught your breath laying on the floor with her above you before you both giggled and got up in her bed switching from listening to music to watching movies together while laying wrapped in each other's arms. "I've had feelings for you for so long now" you both share another kiss before you ended up falling asleep an hour later not knowing that nick and charlie had walked in to find the two of you asleep smiling at each other knowing that the two of you had shared some kind of moment, a month later you announced to everyone you knew that two of you were together earning an outcome of support from both your families and friends only having to deal with a few bullies here and there but even despite that the two of you always prove no matter the hate that you deeply cared about each other.

#heartstopper x reader #tori spring #heartstopper #tori spring x reader

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multi-fandom-of-madness · 2 years

Text

Just to Love and Be Loved in Return

Fandom: Victorious

Pairing: Beck Oliver x Reader (she/her)

Type: Angst with a happy ending

Warnings: Swearing, Jade is a bitch (I love her though), theater kids being theater kids, Jade calls someone a whore, I didn’t fully proofread, and a few Moulin Rouge references

Summary: You and Beck broke up two weeks before a Halloween party. You're still deeply in love with each other, but after being put through that pain, you don't want to listen to him. So what do you do?

Word Count: 5,422 (I got carried away...)

Notes: This has a song in it (I don't own the rights or anything), but I recommend listening before reading (It's linked below). All characters are 18+.

youtube

—

It was one of the best times of the year: Halloween. Everyone was getting ready to dress up and tick-or-treat (even if they were too old), going to parties, or just hanging out at home watching scary movies. It’s the night to be scared and eat so much candy to the point of tooth decay, and it is always one of the best holidays.

You, however, were not entirely excited.

Your friend, Tori, and her sister were hosting a Halloween party to participate in tonight's festivities, and you had decided to help with the set-up. It wasn’t like you were nervous to hang out with Tori while setting up; she wasn’t the issue. Some of the other people, who made an offer to help, were the issue.

You knew that this could be a bad idea considering your recent breakup with one of the helpers, Beck. It had been maybe two weeks, but your feelings for him still lingered; hope keeping them there.

You had left for Tori’s house around 10:30 a.m. and had gone to get coffee for the two of you. You debated on asking if anyone else wanted some, but when Tori told you no one was there yet, you didn’t bother.

You got to Tori’s house, and texted her so that you could get some help with taking stuff inside. There were a few decorations she wanted but couldn’t find, and since you hosted a Halloween party last year, you brought them.

“Hey, Y/n!” Tori said as she opened the car door and took the two coffee cups. “You’re a lifesaver; I am so tired.” You grabbed a few bags and followed her inside. “Thank you for coming to help with the setup, by the way. I really appreciate it.”

“It’s really not a problem, I didn’t have anything better to do anyways,” you said with a smile. That was a lie. You had plenty of better things to do. For example, not seeing Beck or Jade today sounded like a great idea.

You had left your makeup and costume in the trunk of your car, so you left to go grab them, Tori tagging along just for the hell of it.

You got to your car and had set your coffee and costume on the top of your car when you heard another car pull up. Looking to see who the driver, and apparently passenger, was. You held your breath. Jade drove Beck. Of course she did.

You tried to quickly grab your things, but fate had many other things in store. Your coffee fell, spilling everywhere, and as you tried to pick it up, you felt your costume fall on your head. “Good god, does anything else want to fall and make this day worse?” Tori had your makeup bag in hand, and you watched as it slowly unzipped, the contents spilling everywhere. “The universe is out to get me,” you complained, picking up your costume to keep it from getting in the coffee, and making attempts to grab the makeup.

Tori apologized, and grabbed your costume to take inside so that you could grab the makeup. It wasn’t her fault, you didn’t properly close the bag, so you couldn’t be upset with her. Thankfully there wasn’t too much damage to any of the more expensive things. You could tell that an eyeshadow pallet had busted considering the amounts of shiny pigments now littering the concrete.

You almost had everything back in the bag as Beck walked up to you. “Need some help?” He offered. You didn’t answer, but he grabbed the remaining lipsticks and a few other things that were still out of the bag. “Here.” He put the rest of your things back in your bag, and you zipped it up. You muttered a quick thank you, and quickly went inside.

“Hey, wait,” Beck called as he walked up to the door, Jade following close behind, but you just decided to shove past Tori and make your way to drop the stuff off in her room, knowing that any conversation with him would lead to you in tears. You knew they would both have to come upstairs, but you just needed a minute, so you threw your stuff on Tori’s bed, and walked into the bathroom right across the hall.

“Just let her go, she obviously doesn’t want to talk to you,” you heard Jade tell him as they made their way upstairs. You always assumed there was some sort of jealousy behind her actions. You knew that she used to have a crush on Beck, but he never reciprocated those feelings.

You knew that you were being childish about the whole situation, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care. The relationship ended kind of poorly. He decided that he wanted to take a break, but he wasn’t communicating why, and he just suddenly broke it off with no explanation.

It took a week to do anything other than get out of bed and go to school, where all feelings were just worsened because as soon as Jade found out, she had taken advantage of the situation. Even though you two had become really good friends, she was being a bitch, to put it simply. You knew Jade would try to say something about it, that’s all she has been doing, and you really didn’t want to hear it today.

“I don’t see why you’re so upset about it, you just need to drop it,” you heard Beck say from the other side of the door.

“Well she doesn’t have to act like a bitch. You broke up with her, and she needs to accept that,” Jade responded. You knew she was just jealous, but there is no reason for her to act like this over something that she shouldn’t even be involved with.

“This isn’t your thing, though. You need to accept that.”

“I’m just saying that you could use someone who will actually be good for you. Y/n isn’t that person anymore,” she continued. You knew she wouldn’t stop until she was given a ‘good enough’ reason, but you didn’t have the energy to give her a reason. You opened the door to the bathroom as they walked into Tori’s room, and you looked behind you to see Beck freeze in the door.

He turned around and opened his mouth, but you just turned the other way and went downstairs.

—

Shortly after the little interaction, Cat and Robbie joined, and the decorating could finally commence.

“Okay so I need Jade and Cat to go put out the stuff for the lawn. Beck and Robbie, if you could get the stuff that needs to be hung up in tall places put up, that would be great. Y/n and I can work on the inside stuff.” Tori gave out lists of things that she wanted in each area, with a diagram of suggestions (that weren’t really suggestions) telling people where things should go.

You watched as everyone quickly went over to where the decorations were and got started. It hopefully wouldn’t be a long process as long as everyone was helping out.

It had been about an hour and as the decorating continued, you noticed that you and Tori were the only ones in the room. Setting down the garland you were holding, you walked over to her. “Tori, can I talk to you about something?”

She put the bats that were in her hands down. “Of course. What’s up?”

You sighed. You didn’t want to be the girl who constantly talked about her ex, but you needed to talk to someone, and she was the closest. “It’s about Beck,” you paused, waiting for her to say something, and you continued when she kept quiet. “I went upstairs earlier and hid in the bathroom, but I could hear Jade and Beck talking. Jade was being rude, talking about how Beck needed to forget about me. Beck didn’t really respond because I walked out, but he looked like he wanted to. I know I’m just being silly, and I’m probably overthinking, but it got me wondering about me and him. He’s been trying to talk to me whenever he gets the chance.”

“Maybe he just needs to explain himself and give you closure. Whether you want to talk to him about it or not is up to you, but I would say wait until you’re ready.” You weren’t sure if that’s what you wanted to hear or not.

“I don’t really want to talk to him. I honestly don’t even want to look at him,” you explained. She gave you a look of pity, placing a hand on your shoulder, and you just sighed. “I don’t know. I probably should just forget it for now. We have a party to get ready for.”

—

The decorating was coming together nicely. The party wasn’t for another few hours, and everyone was getting pretty hungry. You decided to go pick something up for everyone because it was an easier choice, and you needed to get out of there. Calling Andre, you got in the car and started driving. You didn’t want to be alone right now, and he was your best source of comfort.

“So from what I’m hearing, you should talk to Beck,” he said.

“I wouldn’t even know what to say. ‘Hey, I’m still desperately in love with you, and Jade sucks, so come back and date me because I’m the best person for you?’”

“I think that sounds perfect. See, you’ve got this. No reason to stress,” he joked.

“Thanks, Andre,” you huffed. “I don’t know what to do. A part of me doesn’t want to be with him at all because he was the one who broke it off, and left me without reason, but the other part of me is still very much in love with him. I honestly don’t want to even go to this party…I’m just so tempted to drop off the food and ditch.”

“I don’t think you should do that. Maybe you’ll find someone to hook up with, it might make you forget about Beck.”

Rolling your eyes you responded, “You know, you’re really not helping.”

He laughed before yelling something, most likely to his grandma. “Hey, so I have to go, but I can call you later if you absolutely need me to.”

“I think I’ll be okay. I hope your grandma is okay.”

“She’s fine, she’s just being her.”

“Have fun with that,” you said.

“I’ll try.” And then he was gone.

You made it to the takeout place, and got everyone’s orders, checked to make sure everything was right, and went back to Tori’s house.

—

“I think that’s it!” Tori said, admiring the work done around the house. The whole atmosphere had changed and the decorations looked great. Fake spiders and bats were strung up everywhere, there was a zombie in a wheelbarrow with a party hat, sunglasses, and a coconut that Jade stole from Sikowitz, a fog machine, and definitely more that really made the room come to life. “If you guys wanna go on ahead and get changed people will start arriving in around an hour give or take.”

You looked over to Beck who had already gotten up to go do whatever, and couldn’t help but feel regret. Everything he did made you feel something. He was what you thought to be your perfect match, and it pained you to know that he no longer was. You looked away and tried to just focus on the party, hoping that it would make you feel better.

You had just gone upstairs to get ready when he walked in. You watched as he grabbed his bag and began to walk out, not saying a word until he stopped before grabbing the door handle. “Y/n?” He turned around. You didn’t know if you could handle him talking to you right now.

Trying to settle on a response, “Yeah?” was all that would come out. You didn’t want to have this conversation before the party.

“I wanted to talk to you. I haven’t-”

“Beck, I’m sorry, but I really just want to enjoy this party. I’m not interested in hearing anything about us tonight. You said it was over – we were over, and I…” you paused, not entirely sure whether or not you wanted to say something you didn’t really mean. “I’m okay with it.”

The look he gave you was that of pure pain. You thought that those words were the ones he wanted to hear, but from the looks of it, that was far from the truth. All you heard from him was a sad sigh, “I just wanted to say that I’m sorry,” and then he grabbed his bag and he was gone.

You didn’t entirely understand what he was sorry about, and you didn’t even know if you should care. Except you do, and it just hurts so much.

You ran a hand through your hair as you picked up your bag. You started with makeup, which for the costume, was fairly simple. You and Beck decided that you would go as Christian and Satine from the Broadway version of Moulin Rouge as soon as you heard of Tori’s party. You didn’t know if he was still planning on being Christian, but you spent too much money not to use your costume.

You kind of just sat in Tori’s room while everyone else was getting ready, the only other person who actually used the room was Tori, and she didn’t mind. She needed help getting her eyelashes on anyway.

“So are you excited about tonight?” She asked as you held a set of teezers dangerously close to her eye.

“Honestly, I don’t know,” you responded, setting the eyelash perfectly.

“Why not? It’s going to be fun,” she insisted.

You blew on the other eyelash to get the glue tacky before also applying that one. “I just can’t help but get the feeling that Jade has it out for me, or that something is going to go wrong tonight.”

“I don’t think you should worry. There’s going to be a ton of people, and who knows, maybe you’ll find someone cute to take your mind off Beck,” she said with a smile.

“That’s almost exactly what Andre said,” you said with a small chuckle as you walk over to your bag. You pulled your black and tan bodysuit, robe, and fishnets out of your bag, and grabbed your boots. The outfit was almost an exact replica of the one Satine wears when she first meets the Duke. “I’m going to go change in the bathroom, I’ll be back in just a minute.”

It was an easy costume to get into, the biggest struggle was zipping it up, but it wasn’t anything that you couldn’t handle. You looked in the mirror and pushed your hair being your ears. So maybe it wasn’t that the costume was too expensive to not wear, it was returnable, but maybe you just wanted to make a statement. Wearing the other half to a couples costume after a breakup? Almost a power move.

You turned the handle to the door and walked out, hearing the floor creak from the room next to you. Jade was standing at the door. “You look amazing, Y/n,” she said, with a smile and tone that was almost definitely fake.

“Oh…thank you, I like your costume too,” you tried returning the compliment, feeling that danger was ahead and trying to defuse it in advance. She was wearing a costume that resembled Janis from Mean Girls.

She huffed out a laugh and you could feel embarrassment creeping up your face. “I just don’t understand why you’re being such a bitch to Beck. He hasn’t done anything wrong.”

“What?” Her statements took you off guard.

“I mean I get that he broke up with you, but he was probably just trying to save his reputation.”

“Jade-” you started before she cut you off.

“I mean look at you! You look so cheap. No wonder he left. Did you just put this on to try and impress him? Trying to win him back?” She put on a mocking tone, and gave a little pout.

“Why are you being so rude? Why are you always so rude?” you asked, trying to figure out a way to get her to stop. You knew she was just trying to get a rise out of you, but the words hurt either way.

“You’re pathetic,” she said, ignoring what you said entirely. “You think he would want to be with someone as disgusting as you? He doesn’t love you, he never loved you, and he never will. But by all means, continue to try, that way we all can enjoy the show when you inevitably embarrass yourself.”

“What the hell is wrong with you?”

“What the hell is wrong with you? All you’re doing is being an attention seeker, and it’s not cute.”

“Just leave me alone. There is no reason for you to be acting like this,” you thought you had raised your voice, but it was just a whisper. Tears began threatening to fall.

You heard Tori’s door creak open and watched as she walked out, trying to come to your rescue. “Jade? What the hell?”

“All you are is trash, just some leftovers Beck threw out.” She paused, and you began to walk away. “Stop being such a whore, and go home.” And then she was gone.

“Y/n?” Tori put her hand on your shoulder, but you just shrugged it off.

You watched as she went back down the stairs, and then the tears started to fall. They weren’t sad tears, they were angry. Angry because of Jade, angry because of Beck, and angry because of the party. “I’m going home,” you stated, not listening to the pleas from your friend. You grabbed your phone, which you didn’t realize you left in the bathroom and raced down the hall, not caring about the clothes and makeup you left in Tori’s room, you’d get them later.

“You shouldn’t listen to her, she’s just jealous. Please, don’t leave, it’s going to be a fun night,” Tori tried to bargain.

“If she wants me gone, then I’m gone.” You couldn’t quite hear what she said after that, you were trying to block everything out.

“Y/n?” Beck called as you ran down the stairs, angry tears flooding your vision.

“Leave me alone, I don’t want to talk to you.” You didn’t know whether that was a lie or not.

“Y/n, please,” he begged, trying to grab your hand, but you slipped from his grasp, walking a little faster. The music had already started, but you could hardly hear it over your heart beating. Or maybe it was your head pounding.

You made it out the front door, not realizing he was still chasing you until he grabbed your arm tight enough so that you couldn’t escape this time. “Beck, please just let me go. You are the last person I want to see or talk to right now,” you said struggling against his grasp, trying to rip your arm away.

He gently cupped your face so that you would look at him, and you did, until it was too painful. “Look at me.” It didn’t sound like a demand, more like a request. You looked at him, and he began to wipe away your tears. “What’s wrong?”

“I don’t have to tell you anything,” you stated. His mouth dropped to a frown. “Just please leave me alone.” His hand left your face and dropped onto your shoulder.

“I’m not letting you go until you tell me what’s wrong.”

“Coming here was a mistake. I just want to go back home.” You tried yanking your arm again, but to no avail he wasn’t letting you go. He tried pulling you over to lean on the wall, but you weren’t budging. “Beck, please,” you were pleading, metaphorically down on your knees, begging. “I just want to go home.”

“No you don’t. I know you too well. What is wrong?” He emphasized the last sentence.

“Everything is wrong. This party, me, you, this costume, us. Everything except for Jade. I don’t want to be here anymore.”

“Really?” He scoffed and you glared at him. “What did she tell you?” He demanded, but you remained silent. “I can guarantee you that it’s wrong.”

“Does it matter? We aren’t together anymore, in case you forgot. Now let me go, you’re going to bruise my arm.”

“It does matter because it’s obviously hurting you-”

“Why do you care?” you snapped. “You hurt me first, and you’re hurting me now. Now let go of my arm.” He dropped your arm at this, and just stood there, but you didn’t move. “You don’t get to try and make it better when you made it bad to begin with,” and then you walked away.

—

You made it home, but just sat in your living room while you texted Tori that you would come over tomorrow to get your stuff and help clean up. It was only 8:00 p.m. The party had started about an hour ago, and you couldn’t help but regret your decision. You really wanted to go, but you just felt so unwanted. There was too much going through your mind, but the genuine contemplation of whether you should go back still lingered. It could help you get your mind off of things, but you didn’t know what to do, and you didn’t want to embarrass yourself anymore.

So you sat there, still in your Satine costume, sipping on a cup of hot tea. You fixed your makeup after the crying stopped so that you could still take pictures because you were pretty proud of how your costume turned out, even if some people didn’t. You took a few photos and posted them with the caption “the unique, the indomitable, the one and only: Satine <3” and checked to see how the party was going. You scrolled through stories and posts until you got bored, so you set your phone on the table, turned on the T.V. and drank your tea.

Your phone lit up, so you went to check it when you saw Beck’s username pop up, saying he liked your post. You rolled your eyes and turned ‘do not disturb’ on, and decided to get some better clothes on.

Before you went upstairs to take off your costume and get ready for bed, you heard a knock at the door. You didn’t think any trick-or-treaters would come by since it was later and there was an empty candy bowl by your door with the sign saying to “only take one,” but you still wrapped your sheer robe to conceal something, trying not to scar a child.

But it wasn’t a child, it was Andre. “Hey pretty lady,” he smiled. He’d come dressed as a Grim Reaper, and you had to hand it to him, it was a good costume.

“What are you doing here? There’s a party going on.”

“I’ve come to collect the Sparkling Diamond so that she can have some fun,” he said, his smile growing a bit wider.

“I have had my share of that party, Andre.”

“Come on, it’ll be fun! There’s karaoke, some pretty good food, and you look stunning in that outfit, and you should show yourself off.” You laughed at this.

“I just…I don’t want to talk to Beck right now. I can’t face him because I said things I regret and I don’t want to think about it,” you explained.

“I’ll make sure he doesn’t do anything, you won’t even see him tonight,” he offered. You contemplated the decision, wondering if it really was worth it.

“It could be fun…”

“It will be fun,” he corrected. You smiled at this. “So is that a yes?”

“Fine, I’ll go, I guess.”

He grabbed your arm and began walking before he froze and said, “Before we go…if I may…a bit more rouge? Yes?”

You let out a laugh at the reference. “Always.”

—

“Y/n! You’re back!” Cat was the first to greet you, giving you a hug. Her hair was pulled into two pigtails with black extensions spread throughout.

“I love the Daculaura costume, it's very cute.”

“Thanks! Come on, let's go dance, or sing some karaoke!” She did a little shimmy and grabbed your arm so you followed her to the dance floor.

Some kid was already on the stage, singing some song that you didn’t quite recognize. But you didn’t care and you danced, your mood beginning to life. It felt good to just throw away all of your cares and just dance.

“Oh my god, Y/n, welcome back!” Tori gave you a hug and paused. “There’s no karaoke line! You should sing something,” she said, putting an arm around your shoulder and walking you towards the booth.

“I don’t know…I wouldn’t even know what to sing,” you stopped, looking for them in the crowd, with no luck. Thank god. “Actually…I might.” You walked up to the booth, ready to request your song.

“Ay look, it’s the Sparkling Diamond!” The DJ called. “Whatcha thinking of singing?” He needed to shout over the crowd because it was so loud.

“Can you play-” A hand fell on your shoulder. You knew this hand because it has held your hands millions of times, cupped your face millions of times, landed on your shoulders millions of times. You knew this hand.

“‘Crazy Rolling’ from Moulin Rouge, please.”

“Ooh Christian is joining the party now! The stage is all yours!” He’s Christian. He wore the costume. You knew that he knew your feelings for this song. You two would sing it together all the time with no reasoning, but it became your song in the strangest of ways.

“What are you doing?” You asked, slightly shouting so he could hear over the people.

“Apologizing,” he got on the stage and held one hand out for you to take, and the other to give you a microphone. You hesitantly accepted both.

“This isn’t really the song to apologize to-” but it was too late. The music started. You looked out at the crowd of people. The song started out slow, so the dancing stopped and they were all just staring at the two of you. You didn’t know how you felt about it.

“I remember when, I remember…I remember when I lost my mind…” You stared at him as he started. He used the costume, and damn did he look good. He wasn’t using the coat, which is understandable because it was pretty hot. The sleeves were rolled up perfectly, the first button undone, exposing the top of his chest, his ascot loosely hanging around his neck. The blue was the perfect color on him. He was staring at you the whole time, but once he started to get caught in the song, you noticed the little things he does when singing. “See how I leave with every piece of you. Don’t underestimate the things that I will do.” The way his nose scrunched at certain notes, his hands waved in the air, how he would stomp when he said a line that was intense enough, all of it was perfect.

He continued the song, glancing up on the occasion, probably to make sure you weren’t running for the hills. “Does that make me crazy? Does that make me crazy? Does that make me crazy? Probably…” His voice was enchanting. If someone told you that he was putting a spell on you, you would probably believe them, but you wouldn’t be complaining.

You listened for your entrance, knowing it was coming up soon, and when it came up, you let every emotion out. “Baby I have no story to be told, but I’ve heard one for you, and I’m gonna make your head burn.” You walked towards him, unsure of why, and placed your hand on his chest, pushing him back ever so slightly, a smirk crossing his face. He was watching your every move so intensely that you could feel every cell in your body light on fire. “Think of me in the depths of your despair. Making a home down there ‘cause mine sure won’t be shared.”

It had come to the part where you were both singing, and you were staring each other in the eyes. Focusing on your words rather than his, you sang. “The scars of your love remind me of us. They keep me thinking that we almost had it all. The scars of your love they leave me breathless…I can’t help feeling-”

“-We could’ve had it all.” You both sang, and you grabbed his arm as he grabbed your waist. “Rolling in the deep. You had my heart inside of your hand, and you played it to the beat.” You knew this couldn’t be acting because your emotions were running wild. Both of you were lost with each other, every person in the room vanished.

The song rolled back to just him singing and you let him go, watching his mannerisms as he put his heart into it.

A few more verses passed and you were nearing the end, unsure of what direction you were heading in together, but you were prepared for whatever happened. “Maybe I’m crazy.” His hand snaked around your back. “Maybe I’m crazy.” You looked in his eyes. “You had my heart inside your hand.” His hand went to the back of your neck. “And you played it, you played it, you played it.” His hand now under your chin, tilting your head up. Your heart was racing at this point. “You played it. To the beat.” The song finished, and neither of you could hold it in anymore. Your lips collided and you could tell everything he was feeling at the moment. The kiss was full of passion and love, anger and pain. Everything you felt was the same for him. You let each other go, and you could hear the applause from everyone, giving an awkward bow.

“Give it up for Christian and Satine!” The DJ yelled through the microphone and another round of applause burst out. Grabbing your hand, he led you off the stage. His hand was on your back again, he wasn’t letting you go. He wasn’t risking that again. You made eye contact with Tori, who gave you a thumbs up, and went back to talking to whoever she was talking with.

“I think we should go somewhere a bit more quiet,” Beck shouted over the speakers. You agreed and made your way out the front door.

As soon as he shut the door to muffle the noise, you were ready with your questions. “What was that?”

“I…I don’t know. I knew you wouldn’t talk to me without something giving you a nudge. I know how you are, and I know that I hurt you without any explanation, but I didn’t want to.”

“I don’t understand. You didn’t want to break up with me, but you did it anyway? That makes no sense,” you said, crossing your arms. This is the part you were dreading: the conversation. You wanted to talk about it, but it was terrifying. Communication is key, and you two always were great with communicating, but this is different.

“I know, and I know there’s no excuse for what I did. I just got scared, I guess. You are practically perfect, and I felt…unworthy. Like I just didn’t deserve you. I got scared, and I ran. I should’ve just talked to you about it, and now that I’m talking it over I’m realizing just how foolish I was. I love you, Y/n. I love you so much that I can’t even comprehend it, and it’s terrifying. You’re the one that I want, forever and always. I…I can’t lose you, but I felt as though I had to.”

“Beck…you didn’t have to lose me. I never would have left you because you are who I love. The only one I love, and the only one that I want to love for the rest of my life. I know we’re young, but it’s the truth.”

“I’m so sorry I hurt you, and I don’t know if there’s a way to make it up to you, but I guarantee I will not stop trying-”

“You coming back to me is enough,” you stated, softly stroking his arm. You brought a hand up to his cheek and he leaned into the touch.

“I’m back. We are back.”

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bookduck14 · 9 months

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HEARTSTOPPER SEASON 2!!!

I need to rant so here is one about each main character.

Issac: I AM SO HAPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Alice portrayed being aroace so well and I almost cried when he met the aroace art guy. AND THE WHOLE ROMANCE SUFFOCATING THING WHEN YOU KNOW YOU AREN'T GETTING THAT!!!!!! Also seeing more of his character and really fell in love with it It made my aroace heart so happy (I could go on lol)

Nick: I really related to him this season with his coming out struggles and wanting to come out but also not. Alice yet again exceeded expectations and perfectly showed how the queer teenage experience is! I love how much he helped charlie this season and his amazing development from season 1. He was just amazing in every way.

Charlie: His story was a lot this season in the best way. His story with his mental health really spoke to me and I related to it. This was exactly how is feels to struggle with your mental health. I loved seeing him get more comfortable, realize what he deserves and Im happy that he told ben and harry to fuck off. also I love how he was there for tao and nick and how he supported nick so much in his coming out and made sure not to pressure him and he truly won the best boyfriend award for that. Also the way he made sure to help tao and be his best friend their friendship rocked this season. Another amazing character

Ben: I fucking hate him and what he did to imogen and charlie he deserves to go die in a hole.

Imogen: I loved her so much this season!!!!!!!! I have to admit that I was a bit iffy about her in season 1 but she stood up for herself, made real friends and she was just amazing this whole season I also really love her dynamic with everyone.

Naomi and Felix: They both really helped elle find out who she was and what she wanted to pursue and I'd like to see them join the paris squad in the future!

Elle: Her character developed so much this season, you could see how much more confident she was getting and I loved seeing her pursue her interests and truly find herself and get together with tao! They are so good for each other and I think they will really come through for each other in the future and will be each other's rocks through it all.

Tao: My guy really likes elle and treats her like a queen. She is his everything and its so cute, He tried too hard at first but when he was himself he was at this best. I also loved him and charlie this season they are the best best friends and the lock thing was so cute.

Tara: She cares so much, She takes care of every single one of her friends and supported darcy in every way she could. Their relationship really took off this season, I liked seeing their ups and downs and them persevering through it all!

Darcy: Alice definitely used her character to portray the dark side of being a queer teen. I liked seeing her being shown as having two different sides and her not wanting to talk about her home struggles and presenting as this happy person. I really relate to that. She was great and I hope she gets the support she needs soon!

Sarhar: I'm sensing something between her and Imogen and I really like it! She was a great character!

Christian, Otis and Sai: I liked seeing nick with his supportive rugby guys and they were great!

David: He sucked so much of course. He is a homophobic piece of shit and he can fuck off.

Tori: She was great and really stood up for her brother and I loved all her scenes with at the Nelson-Spring dinner! she was iconic as always

Nellie: I LOVE NELLIE SO MUCH

Sarah (Nicks mom): SHE IS SO AMAZING AND ALWAYS SUPPORTS NICK!

Nicks Dad: He can go die in a fucking hole.

Also lets talk about the soundtrack? IT WAS SO GOOD! Mxtoons Mona Lisa, FALL IN LOVE WITH A GIRL BY CAVETOWN the colors of you throwback, CRUSH CULTURE AND PEOPLE WATCHING!! THE PROM SONG!!! It was all so good upgeicydgsilew8ugg623yuiqp18j

Alice oseman did an amazing job this season and it couldnt have been better!!!!!!! I loved how she included all the iconic scenes from the book too :) They are the best author/ screenwriter and she is jist the best!

I loved this season so much and I will rewatch it frequently! 10/10!!!!!!!!

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callsign-artemis · 20 days

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A/N: Okay okay so. Ive decided after starting my 100th rewatch of The Walking Dead that I need to write a fic. It’s OcxOc but the plot twist is that y’all won’t meet the Love interest until season 7 and I’m starting at season 1 because I’m here to COMMIT!! Everything has been proofread by @ebodebo (go follow her she’s amazing) (also I saw a walking Dead fic where the MC was named Nadia Grimes so I changed her name to Victoria lol)

ANYWHO! Updates will probably be sporadic so I’m going to do my best to make all chapters after chapter 1 as long as possible🙏

Introducing: Wandering - A walking dead story

———————————————————————

Most people say they don’t remember the day the world went to shit, but I don’t think that day will ever truly unstick itself from my bones

Chapter one- the end

August 26th, 2010

The beeping of hospital monitors haunted my sleep. I’d been spending every night in uncomfortable, plastic, hospital chairs for as many nights as my mom allowed. My father Rick Grimes had been shot in the line of duty 2 weeks ago and had fallen into a coma from the blood loss. I stayed with him when my mom worked so he wasn’t alone. I’d tell him about school, keep him updated on Carl and read to him, praying he could hear me. A fresh vase of flowers at least made the room bright for when he’d wake up.

But right now I was sleeping, or trying anyway. I could feel a thin hospital blanket on me. Theo, one of the hospital's CNAs, harassed me about taking care of myself and usually I fell asleep fully clothed in their shitty chairs without a blanket.

“Peaches?” The voice behind her made Victoria practically jump out of her seat.

“Jesus Shane….you scared the shit out of me. What are you doing here?” Victoria asked harshly. She never liked Shane, even as a little girl they butted heads. She couldn’t for the life of her imagine why Rick would hang out with him after work.

“Tori we need to go. Now.” He spoke quickly, making his way to her dads bed and kneeling down beside him. “Rick, if you’re gonna wake up now’s the time man, shits going down and we need to leave.”

“Shane,” Kennedy laughed half heartedly “what are you talking about?” Just when she thought he was finally losing it, gunfire started to ring out from outside the door. Shane pulled Kennedy down under him as she screamed. Shane covered her mouth and she would’ve bit him in different circumstances.(I mean who the hell opens gunfire in a hospital?!)

Victoria could feel the hot tears start to well as Shane begged her father to wake up so they could leave, telling him that if we stayed they’d all die. After a few minutes of bargaining Shane picked Victoria up and dragged her out of the room.

“No!” She tried to push against his grip but he was incredibly strong. Victoria kicked and pulled until Shane pushed her into a hallway, begging her to be quiet or else they’d be found. She peaked around the corner, Shane pulled a gurney in front of Rick’s room. There was blood everywhere, screams and gunfire echoed down the hall. Shane grabbed her arm and they ran from the hospital, Victoria broke down when they got to his pickup.

“YOU MOTHERFUCKER!” Victoria hit Shane’s arm as hard as she could over and over and over until she didn’t have it in her anymore. She knew he was hurting too but didn’t care. He left her dad there to die.

“Peaches I had to.”

“Don’t call me Peaches Shane. My dad is fucking dead.”

Shane sighed again, the truck roared to life as we peeled out of the parking lot. She stared out the window, thinking of her dad. Would he die? Would they leave a comatose man’s body to sort himself out? What if he woke up and everyone was gone?

Victoria and her father had always been close. She was the stereotypical ‘daddy’s girl’, hell as soon as she was old enough to hold a rifle without falling over she and her dad had gone hunting every season. He taught her how to cook, she knew all his favorite bands and all the words to every corny song that he absolutely loved. Sometimes when Carl was a baby she and Rick would sneak out and go to the 7/11 down the block just to get candy and rent cheesy movies to watch together….and now they’d never share those moments again.

“We’re here.”

Shane’s voice broke Victoria from her daze, she looked out the window to see her mom and brother already packed up ready to hit the road. “Go’n and pack a bag, I’ll talk to your mama and Carl.”

Carl.

He was only 10…and now he’s going to find out he’ll never see his dad again and the world might be ending?? He’ll never get those moments hunting alone with his dad as the sun breaks the day. Or watch cheesy movies with her and their dad when Victoria would be home from college. She could feel the bile rising once again as she made her way past her family and into her room.

She had a typical 17 year olds room. Honestly, the floor was littered with laundry she needed to do as well as some CDs she’d rummaged through that morning. Her walls were a neon teal, they’d mostly been covered with posters of movies and bands, and paintings she’d created out of boredom. She tried to soak in every inch of her room in case she’d never see it again. As she started to pack she took a Polaroid off her wall.

“Jeez Anthony….you should be at practice right around now. Please be safe.”

She tucked the Polaroid of her and her best friend into the pocket of her backpack and kept packing. Just the essentials: a couple pairs of jeans, some tee shirts, boots, hat, dads hunting jacket, socks…toothbrush? Definitely a toothbrush. A hairbrush and a few notebooks and pens (and some comic books for Carl). She also made the decision to pack her hunting rifle in case they got stuck foraging for food, as well as a heavy knife.

She threw her bag into the back of the truck so that no one would suspect how heavy it was. Her mom and brother were crying into Shane as he had just broken the news. Or however he’d spun the story…but Victoria knew the truth that Shane had abandoned his “best friend”. Shane loaded everyone up into the truck and said they’d be headed to Atlanta and that the military would help them.

“Are we going to die?”

While it was spoken barely above a whisper, the question jolted Victoria out of her daydreamed haze. She looked down at her brother Carl who was laying in her lap.

“No baby. Because I’m going to do everything in my power to keep you safe, and so will mom and Shane.” Victoria tried her best to reassure him, rubbing his back softly. She’d instructed him to lay in her lap so he couldn’t see the panic that the rest of the world was in.

Before they knew it, they’d left King County and were headed to Atlanta. Victoria fiddled with her cross necklace, Carl had fallen asleep leaving the truck uncomfortably quiet.

The Grimes weren’t really a religious family but Victoria did occasionally attend Wednesday night Youth Group with her best friend Anthony when she was in town. The necklace was a gift from him.

Anthony. There he was on her mind again, she’d thought about calling him but Lori demanded she save her battery incase of emergency. Anthony Smith had been her best friend since middle school. They did everything together and were practically attached at the hip when they saw each other. He was a year older than her but that never mattered in how close they were.

Anthony was actually quite soft spoken, and smart as a whip. He was a tall kid, probably standing at about 6’3. He was built like an athlete, but he had to be with Track and field. They actually became friends at a track meet in sixth grade and kept up with eachother daily through AOL and Skype. And obviously only hung around each other at said meets. Anthony’s dad was a PE teacher and Coach so he definitely fueled the athletic fire in both kids. Anthony has always been a sweet kid and even when he was an asshole Nadia could never be mad at-

“Victoria!! Get your head out of the clouds I’m talking!”

She jolted once again in her seat, there she was daydreaming again. Lori was giving her daughter quite the concerned look.

“Where are we mom?” Victoria looked out the window to see full bumper to bumper traffic.

“Outside of Atlanta but as you can see we’re stuck in traffic” Shane answered from outside, with quite an annoyed tone Victoria noticed. She ignored Shane and hopped out of the truck so she could stretch her legs.

“Where’s Carl? I think I threw some comic books in my bag, I’m sure he’s bored out of his mind sitting here.” Kennedy looked around and spotted Carl a few cars down playing checkers with a girl who looked to be about his age. She had a short blonde bob and a smile as bright as the sun. Victoria smiled in amusement and made her way to the car with her mom. “Someone has a cru-ush!” She teased in a sing-song voice. She yelped when Carl turned around and smacked her arm as hard as he could.

“Mo-om!!! Carl hit me!”

“Don’t tease your brother then!” She laughed. Victoria rolled her eyes and fluffed her brother's hair before sitting behind him to watch the kids play. Right as she sat down a woman came from the front of the car with waters. She was a smaller woman with buzzed gray hair.

“Oh! You must be Kennedy, I’m Carol!” She had a smile just as bright as Sofias, Victoria made a mental note that they must be related. She smiled and thanked her for the water, and just as she took a sip Carl enacted his revenge.

“You say I have a crush on a girl I just met when you’ve been after Anthony since forever.” Victoria showered the back of Carls with the water she had just taken a sip of and was prepared to cuss him out when the commotion started. Bombs were dropping into Atlanta.

“WHAT THE FUCK?!” Victoria screamed as she pulled the kids down to the ground underneath Carol’s car. She moved her body over the both of them so they would be shielded if anything came down.

The rest of the night was a blur. Shane grabbed everyone’s bags from the truck, grunting as he lifted Victoria’s particularly heavy bag. They ran into the woods with Carol, her husband Ed, and Sophia. There were screams in the distance and somehow Victoria and the kids got separated from the rest of the group. They ran until they came up on a high spot with a small clearing.

“Stop right there.” The shotgun barrel was aimed right between Victoria’s eyes. They widened with fear as she put both her hand in front of her slowly.

“Sir, we’re just trying to get off the road…I have two small kids with me, please.”

The man’s aim faltered and Victoria rushed him, taking the gun and pointing it back at him. It probably wasn’t her smartest move but she had Sophia and Carl to look out for. There was a shriek behind her and Victoria whipped around just in time to shoot a man who was trying to get Sophia. Wait…what the hell?

She slowly crept up to the man. He looked pale, his eyes were white and glossy and there was fresh blood around his mouth.

“Good aim kid. I’m sorry I pointed that thing at you. I just had to make sure you weren’t like him. The names Dale, you kids can stay with me and the girls tonight and we’ll look for your crew in the morning.” Dale smiled at her warmly, he was an older man judging by his white hair. But he had kind eyes and it was late so Victoria decided he could he trusted for the night.

She nodded, grabbing the kids as they headed into Dale's RV. There were two blonde girls sitting on the couch. One older one younger, Victoria figured they were probably sisters.

“Dale, who are they?” The older blonde asked, glaring at the three kids.

“Easy Andrea, the older one can take out those things like you wouldn’t believe!” Dale smiled back at Victoria. “They’re just staying for the night and…I didn’t get your name sweetheart?”

“Victoria. Victoria Grimes.”

———————————————————————

2nd A/N: (I will also be posting this story on Ao3 & Wattpad under Artemis Bradshaw_writes/Art_Bradshaw_Writes)

#the walking dead #ao3 fanfic #wandering #oc #zombie apocolypse au #the walking dead au #Carl did Victoria so dirty bringing Anthony up like that #Rick Grimes #I can’t wait for Victoria to jump Shane’s ASS yall

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cleoselene · 1 month

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nine favorite albums in no particular order,

tagged by @an-ivy-covered-summer (thank you I love to ramble about music)

Portishead - Dummy - This is probably my favorite album of all time? It's perfect to me. It makes me feel so good, physically and mentally. It's the quintessential 90s album, the definitive trip-hop album, and always makes the list of "25 Albums You Should Own On Vinyl" for a reason. It's immaculate and it spawned a slew of imitators who never ever got close to this kind of quality. I think people also don't appreciate hop much trip-hop/downtempo has influenced today's pop music. SZA's latest album especially felt super trip-hoppy, so did elements of Midnights.

Massive Attack - Mezzanine - if there's one other trip-hop album you should pick up, it's this one. This album benefits greatly from Elizabeth Fraser of Cocteau Twins' ethereal vocals. Every song on this is amazing. When I was playing this album for a friend about a decade younger, he said "oh this is the album with the music from all the movies." lol. Indeed It's been licensed to hell for a reason!

Tori Amos - Scarlet's Walk - Okay I set a rule for myself that each artist would only get one album in this list to avoid putting up nine Tori Amos albums, but Scarlet is my favorite. This road trip across America immediately after 9/11 is one of the first albums to... if not criticize the US response to 9/11, because it was really too early for that, but to be very, very wary of what the response would be. It's an album that expresses sympathy for a wounded nation, while also acknowledging the nation's sins. I think this is one of a few Tori albums that was too high concept for the mainstream audience, but Tori has never been for the mainstream audience, anyway.

Taylor Swift - evermore - Of all the Taylor Swift albums, it was reputation that brought me to the dance and Red that made me fall madly in love. But evermore is her best work. It's perfecting upon the formula she came up with in folklore. Which, don't get me wrong, I love folklore, but with Taylor's obsession with being "sonically cohesive" it's kind of a bummer of an album? I appreciate how the vibes of evermore are more varied. Also, "ivy" is the most beautiful song she's ever written.

Green Day - American Idiot - This album doesn't need much description, it's so well-known, but nothing really compares to how hard this album hit during the height of Bush Era Hell. As a 26 year old when this came out, it felt like my generation was getting our mainstream protest music, finally.

Paul Simon - Graceland - This album won the Grammy for Album of the Year for a reason: it's soooo good. I know there's a lot of drama/controversy surrounding it, but I always felt Paul approached his love of African music from a genuine place. It's such a good midlife crisis album, I understand it now more that I am in midlife than I did when I discovered it at age 12. And the bass line for "You Can Call Me Al" is fucking legendary, isn't it? PS - Paul Simon is the greatest songwriter of all time.

VNV Nation - Automatic - Why was it so hard to pick a VNV Nation album? I really kind of wanted to put last year's Electric Sun in the mix, but I need to let that sit with me before I add it to a list like this. This is the album that brought me to the dance: "Gratitude" is an all-time fave VNV song of hopefulness. "Control" is the dance club banger to end all dance club bangers. I loooooooove this band. I wish there were more futurepop bands out there, tbh, it's SUCH an excellent genre.

Lana del Rey - Norman Fucking Rockwell! - This is Lana's best. It's not really even close. This is one of the best albums of the 21st century. The way "The greatest" so perfectly encapsulates the Trump-era nihilism... I DO want shit to feel the way just like it used to. Kanye West IS blond and gone. We DIDN'T know that we had it all. :( The ache of nostalgia in our current very painful times hits perfectly on this record (WHYYYY don't I own it on vinyl yet??)

Puscifer - Existential Reckoning - So hard for me to pick a Maynard project and not pick TOOL, but Puscifer has become my favorite of his three bands. Existential Reckoning is similar to NFR! in that it captures the political moment. Maynard has never seemed particularly political in his music until this record, which is pretty interesting. ER seems to be advocating for a return to rationality over ideology, of moderation over extremism, of science over faith. It takes a very humanist approach to looking at life in 2020. "Apocalyptica" is probably the craziest song because it sounds like it was written about COVID, but it was not, in fact was written just a few months earlier. "Bedlamite" is the coda to the album that promises hope: It's gonna be all right. When they did this album Live at Arcosanti and sang this song while the sun rose behind them, four days before the 2020 election and Maynard crooned that it would be all right, I looked at my roommate, and I said, "it really is, isn't it?" And we both got kind of overwhelmed. And then a few days later, it was. Trump lost.

I went into way detail >_> told you I like rambling about music

tagging: @swiftzeldas @emmaswanned @brightnshinythings @mariacallous @ouijawaydidhego

#meme

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theballadoftory · 4 months

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-Writeblr Introduction-

Welcome to my little corner of the world, I’m happy you’ve made it here 🫧

My name is Tory (she/her), I’m 19 years old and I make many different kinds of art including;

-poems

-songs

-stories

All my art revolves around the central themes of what it’s like to be a (teenage) girl in this world, how I experience life, platonic and romantic relationships and if not that then something utterly and completely outlandish like being a dog or or accidentally killing your lover at a bar

If that’s something you’re interested in then feel free to stick around 🐚

I mainly made this account so I can have a place where I can put all my art without having to make too much of a fuss about it

I currently have two WIP’s both of which don’t necessarily fall into the dark academia genre but do very much feel like they should

1. Stars burn up (working title)

A story about two academic rivals, who are quietly alienated at their elite boarding school, being forced to work on a project together. They find a secret passageway to a treacherous and magical alley along the way that could put both of them in great danger 🪐

2. Whispers of the bastards

A story about a girl being recruited into a group of spies in a city full of thieves and criminals figuring out that the machinations of said town are much more deliberate than she could have ever imagined and having to decide if she wants to profit from it or tear it all down ⚔️

I make it a point to write about flawed and interesting people that are barely anything like your usual fantasy heroes and I write stories that reflect and comment on modern societal issues. At the same time I’m a huge sucker for romance and I don’t think I will ever write anything without it.

I also have an AO3 account called theetherealnemesis where I write fanfiction, if you care to read a sample of my writing. Right now I only have an unfinished fanfic about house of the dragon on there but I do really like what I’ve written so far and plan to continue it.

This really is an account for people who like art, writing specifically, and everyone is welcome here

My other interests include:

-politics

-history

-concerts

-greek mythology

Movies/shows📽️:

Promising young woman, Saltburn, Ballad of Songbirds and snakes, Bottoms, the statistical probability of love at first sight, Howls moving castle, candy jar/ Percy Jackson, The Rookie, Brooklyn 99, Modern family, one piece live action, heart break high, fleabag

Singer/Songwriters🎶:

Taylor Swift, Chappell Roan, Ethel Cain, Sabrina Carpenter, Sufjan Stevens, Mitski, Phoebe Bridgers, Quinnie

Books📚:

Percy Jackson, Six of crows, a good girls guide to murder, Cruel Prince, All the bad apples, Enchanté, Aphrodite made me do it, Legendborn, Dearly, poetry by Sappho and Emily Dickinson

I also have a TikTok account under the same @ as here where I post all kinds of stuff

Hope you have fun here

#writerscommunity #writeblr #writeblr intro #writeblr introduction #writers and poets #writers on tumblr #ao3 writer #female writers #singer #songwriter #wip #work in progress #dark academia

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onlygenxhere · 2 months

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🌵🕯️🎲🪲

🌵- A playlist I love is one I made for my Falling Toward the Future fic. It's 96 songs, the majority 80s/90s rock. Every song is mentioned or referenced in that fic.

🕯️- Dude Editing sucks and I suck at it.

🎲- What stops me from writing more in my free time? Well if it's truly free time, there's not house work or kids/husband needing things... you all can keep me from writing (which I totally don't mind) There's also never enough time to catch up with TV/movies and things I want to read too. So it's usually just other hobbies and not enough time for everything.

🪲- Add 50 words to your current wip and share here. Super new wip I'm calling Letters from Rose at the moment...

I better finish this up. We’ve got to get our set list perfect and Travis has only played on stage with us once so we need to practice, practice, practice! I’ll be sure to call on Sunday please, please be home hermana. There’s always more to say than I can in a letter. I know mami reads these too. Hi mami! I miss your voice Tori. Love you, Rosey

#asks #personal #thanks!#i really enjoyed these #I was really tired tonight #thanks for inspiring me to add those 50ish words #another letter finished

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fayewongfuzao · 1 year

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I transcribed most of the parts that mention Faye.

Who is Faye Wong?

Earlier in Faye Wong's career, people wanted her to be anything but herself.

Because she was from the Mainland, they tried to force her to have this Hong Kong personality because they were worried that Hong Kong audiences wouldn't accept someone who was from the Mainland.

Wong's handlers gave her an anglicized name: Shirley Wong

She didn't enjoy it. She felt forced into a fake version of herself.

But none of that apparently bothered Wong Kar-wai. Because he saw an edge that her handlers had been trying to sand away.

He was very much taken with Faye Wong who's an interesting figure because she was a Mainlander and she had a particular aura that he thought was interesting. She seemed cooler than the people in Hong Kong cause there's something kinda otherworldly about her. And in fact, she seemed cooler.

Cooler than even the Hong Kongese who think of themselves as the coolest.

Yeah, you look at her and you think 'oh that's the cool person'.

He [Wong Kar-wai] could see it and that's part of his gift.

Faye Wong with the fake persona she hated was figuring out what was next for her.

She disappeared for some time and she went to study in New York.

She roamed The Big Apple for a few months and said: 'I saw so many strange, confident looking people. They didn't care what other people thought of them.'

And then when she came back, she became a different person.

In 1993, she dropped the LP, "100,000 Whys" doing covers of songs from Western alt rockers like Tori Amos and throwing in some killer pop originals like this one called 'Flow Not Fly'.

The Hong Kong kids fell in love with her.

She was the huge rising star because it was so cool to be a fan of Faye Wong.

She was like the Nirvana of that moment.

When you mention Nirvana, I remember the way she dressed at the time. She was wearing all these grungy style clothes. And there was no internet at that time so I had no idea about Nirvana or the grunge music scene. And people were commenting 'How come Faye Wong dresses like this?'. They're not glamorous outfits that people would be expecting a Cantopop star to be wearing.

You know a lot of people obviously try to entertain and that's great. But with Faye Wong, you had to come to her. She just did her thing. She couldn't be put in a box.

In other words, Hong Kongers finally saw what Wong Kar-wai had seen years before: a Mainlander who out-cooled them all. Something totally modern which made her and her music the perfect fit for the director's next movie - a snapshot of modern Hong Kong in 1994.

Chungking Express

Story #2 featured a food server on hip Hong Kong Island played by Faye Wong, named Faye, and was like real life Faye in every way the music audience would probably recognize.

The movie-Faye dreams of leaving Hong Kong for the West. She's constantly blasting The Mamas and the Papas 'California Dreamin' like Faye Wong, movie-Faye does leave for the West. And like Faye Wong, movie-Faye also comes back changed.

Now she's an airline attendant and she's come to pay a visit to a guy she was obsessed with but never quite dated played by Tony Leung.

"WHERE DO YOU WANT TO GO?" she asks him.

"WHEREVER YOU WANT TO TAKE ME." says Tony.

Will they stay in Hong Kong? Will they go? Instead of telling us, Wong Kar-wai smash cuts to the end credits, accompanied by Faye Wong's cover of a different song about dreaming.

Her version of The Cranberries tune is called 'Dream Lover'. It's as joyful as the original with Cantonese lyrics that add a hint of trepidation. They're about waiting to fall into a long kiss with an enticing stranger.

It could be movie-Faye singing to Tony.

'Dream Lover' came out a month before the movie debuted. The tune was already a smash. But now the tune was about to get bigger.

Chungking Express Goes Global

And the other thing international audiences took from the film? Faye Wong.

In that great sequence when she's at the snack bar and she's dancing to California Dreamin', the first time it ever played in North America at The Toronto Film Festival, after she finished dancing, the crowd applauded because it was such a magical sequence. And people came out thinking: 'Who is that woman?'

That's the other thing about Faye Wong. Hardened film critics came out thinking 'Who was that?'

For sure, Chungking Express was a great introduction of her to a much bigger international stage. She became quite popular in Japan thanks to the film. And so she did quite a few concerts in Japan and she did the themesong of Final Fantasy the video game. So she was that big.

Noel Hogan of The Cranberries

And as for 'Dreams', after Faye Wong's cover blew up in Hong Kong in 1994, Noel Hogan and his band had some inkling it was out there.

"We knew it happened and kinda forgot about it because we were so busy touring. But then bit by bit you'd kinda hear that 'Dreams' had taken off in this country and that country . But it really really didn't hit until we went to Hong Kong and later to China that we saw the full impact of it and how big it was."

"We were absolutely shocked."

Turns out Faye Wong had popularized 'Dreams' and the band who'd written it.

Emma Lee Moss (on her cover)

"It's just such a crowd-pleaser. People are like 'oh i know that song'. It takes them awhile to figure out what it is. Unless you're in Hong Kong, in which they know exactly what you're doing."

"Everywhere you go, there's someone who loves Faye Wong. I played in China and I couldn't communicate with anyone because my Mandarin was so terrible. But the moment we started talking about Faye Wong, we're talking in Faye Wong song titles. That's how we were communicating."

An Irish kid writes a song in his room. A Mainlander sings it to Hong Kong. Then a movie sends her music everywhere.

(SOURCE: MUBI PODCAST)

#faye wong #王菲 #chungking express #夢中人

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lilliths-httyd-blog · 6 months

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So I just watched Princess and the Popstar as part of my mega Barbie movie watch/rewatch. For reference, here's where it sits on my current personal tier list (I've seen more of them I promise, just not in a very long time). I feel that it's placement on my tier list is justified considering I feel the same way about it as I do Island Princess: two very good movies with just a few aspects which make me apprehensive about watching it twice (Tika. If Tika wasn't in Island Princess it would've been in yellow tier at least). I also didn't enjoy it as much as Diamond Castle or Three Musketeers, which are both films that came out in a similar timeframe to Princess and the Popstar. So, cyan-soon-to-be-green-tier-why-the-fuck-is-it-not-green-hold-on seems fitting.

I think y'all can tell that I like the Barbie movies.

Princess and the Popstar started off a banger (despite Princesses Wanna Have Fun being the bad kind of earworm - I hadn't watched the film in well over five years until today but that song was still getting stuck in my head every other week up until as of literally a few days ago probably). A nice little homage to Princess and the Pauper without totally ripping it off. Nice throwback to To Be a Princess there too, as a kid I hadn't seen Princess and the Pauper so I had no idea where the song came from or anything (literally I used to forget that the song was even in the movie) but as of today the original is literally my favourite Barbie movie ever so when I heard the opening lyrics I got... way too excited over this Barbie movie than I really should've. But yeah no the music in this damn movie is fantastic aside from the one song.

Tori and Keira were absolutely fantastic characters. They were VERY flawed but like can you blame them??? They're not even eighteen yet, they've both grown up in heavily restrictive environments (Keira having been performing since she was six and Tori acting out all the time as a result of the way she was brought up), have had such limited social interaction and have been taught to "never act your age" (act older than you really are) so it's totally reasonable that these girls are gonna fuck up and make mistakes and do stupid things (and hey they might be faking their identities but at least they're not committing identity theft pfffft). They don't have the wisdom of an average 17 year old yet but they're treated by everyone around them like they're so much older ESPECIALLY KEIRA (and yet she's the least impulsive one out of the two). Overall, I support womens wrongs. Genuinely listen to this movie's version of To Be a Princess, you'll absolutely get what I mean.

I still think that Serafina is superior to Vanessa but... Vanessa my beloved <3 Riff was not as fun but I love his name referring to a guitar riff while also being. Ya know. Dog.

My biggest complained about this movie is Crider's whole thing with the Diamond Gardenia like. If that whole plot hadn't been in the movie then it would've been so much better. Keep the whole drought thing for Tori's character development and whatnot, and make Amelia's whole thing about keeping Tori in line be about Amelia's Material Girl lifestyle and her not wanting Tori to find out about what kinda state the kingdom is in because "Vanessa, I'm a Material Girl" (make her an homage to best Barbie villain the Original Material Girl Preminger). Like girl does not want to give up her riches in order to help the populace. Do that instead of having an unrealistic magical diamond-growing plant and Basically Uncle Ian from Alvin and the Chipmunks having an unhealthy obsession with it... (the way he broke into the castle too like- those guards DESERVED to have their heads bonked with vases if that's how shit they are at their job).

To sum my thoughts up, I reckon this movie started off really strong but as soon as the Gardenia and Crider became a thing it began to very slowly fall off. A few changes could've made it so much better. Anyway it's nice to see that it wasn't as shit as I thought it would be, considering it was my childhood favourite :D

Also I stan Prince Liam. Dude was barely present, asked next to no questions and rolled with whatever out-of-left-field shenanigans were thrown at him and I support that. Also no forced romance or hinted feelings or anything, as far as I'm concerned he and Keira were just bros causing chaos together. Good for them.

#barbie #barbie movies #barbie princess and the popstar #barbie princess and the pauper #barbie review

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corruptedforce · 2 months

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respond to the prompts out of character!

what made you pick up the current muse(s) you have? I wanted to write Anakin for years, but I don't half ass pick up any character. It's one of the reason why I keep my multi under 15, at all times. I have to have them fleshed out. I've been fascinated by Vader since I was a child. All my friends had Leia Halloween costumes. I just wanted to be Vader. Anakin intrigued me, as well, as I got older. I ALWAYS loved Hayden as Anakin. But, I spent years before ultimately choosing to write him. I had to learn mannerisms, ways he fights, his quirks, his emotional responses, and Vader, because Vader is Anakin.

is there anything you don’t like to write? Look when you play one of the biggest villains in pop culture, there is not much that is off limits. I refuse to ever write or AU him, as a Rebel. He would never be a rebel and I would never write him as such. I also only very rarely and only really for I think one or two people, will write him not falling. His fall is extremely important to what the chosen one prophecy needs, to fufill. I'm not huge on fix-it. I mean, sometimes I enjoy them and I will never change Hayden as Anakin's FC. I don't ship him with other males, with the exception of one and it's writer specific. I don't write smut on him to just write smut, but if it fits, I'm okay. I also don't auto ship.

is there anything you really enjoy writing? Angst, pain, drama, things that make you cry and hate life. I love happiness if we have like something dramatic too. The prequels are a tragedy. They just are. Anakin's life even before his fall, he may have been married, but he was at war. He has brief times with Padme for instance, when he does have happy moments, but war is something that was a lot of his life. I lean towards his destiny more towards trying to create a healthy family dynamic, that didn't exist.

how do you come up with headcanons? I have things knocking around my head and sometimes I get asks. I'm currrently working on one, for three days now based off someone asking me what I thought of one quote.

do you write in silence or do you play music? usually, the TV is on.

do you plan your replies or wing them? I wing them mostly or for the most part, I don't pre-read the previous reply always. I mean, I will sometimes, but with certain partners, I know how I'll react. Sometimess, I have to calm Anakin or Vader down if it's angst before I reply because he's a mess, who will say things, if I don't. But, my best rp partners understand his reactionary responses.

do you enjoy shipping? I love shipping. Just not having it forced on me. I'm open to a lot, if it it makes sense. I also love many types of connections.

what’s your alias/name? Tanya

age? Older than 30. I'm at the age where it says years young on Tumblr.

birthday? April 21st

favorite color? Cubbie Blue

favorite song? Anything off the Sons of Anarchy Soundtracks by lately Day is Gone by Noah Gundersen and Come Join the Murder; Also, Lightning Crashes by Live is a song I listen to a lot, Anything by Bob Seger when I need to feel close to my mom

last movie you watched? Red Dawn (not my idea)

last show you watched? One Tree Hill

last song you listened to? Ainsi Bas La Vida by Indila.

favorite food? Tough Guys by REO Speedwagon

favorite season? sprinter. it's that time in February - March, when it's like 70 but not miserable yet.

do you have a tumblr best friend?

For the last year and half and some change, 100% it has to be Mica (mayxthexforce) and Tori (bchemianrhapscody). With Mica, I have talked to her more than I have talked to anyone, in a time when things were really hard for me, after I lost my mom. But, there are others in the Star Wars fandom, and those are people who have been my friend, even when lies were told and I lost long-term friends. Some people aren't like bestie status but I adore them so much. More recently, I have been talking a ton to @story1ines of late and she is quickly becoming a close friend who I bombard with messages. I also adore @xx--ofmanythoughts--xx, who listens to my baseball ramblings.

I have been on tumblr rp for 13 years and there are people who have come and gone. I will always still communicate with the ones I was the closest to in the world offline, but I forever love my first rp friendship, the Rachel to my Puck, my main Tara to my Jax who I wrie with on Discord only now, the only Wendy I will ever accept to my Jax, my one and only Athelstan and Philippe @mcnsieur, who even though I don't talk to everyday by any means because life is busy, I literally can message her anytime. So many other people I am not remembering.

TAGGED BY: @mayxthexforce

TAGGING: @galaccias, @bchemianrhapscdy, @cagedpotential, @writtenxbeginnings, @story1ines, @mcnsieur, @xx--ofmanythoughts--xx

#(ooc)

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lunapwrites · 4 months

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in the course of looking at posts about love and grief i remembered your house.

i remembered the short path through the woods, well-worn and spider-strewn, the smell of honeysuckle, dead leaves crunching underfoot (softer in summer.)

i remembered the long way "round the block" (mile and a half at least,) bike tires whirring over pavement. pedaling up that stupid hill. the relief when i turned your corner, gliding down the road. slipping a little on your gravel driveway, my legs swinging over the seat without touching the brakes.

i remembered sage green siding, a little gingerbread cottage with the rust red trim, your window gazing out over the yard. the swimming pool with the wooden fence your mother never painted. the back deck, the same. your front porch, covered, with the door that never knew a knock.

i remembered warm wood and cool tiles, all reddish brown, wide windows, the double doors to the side room with your mother's computer and that microphone we got up to no end of trouble with. i remember guinea pigs. i remember bob the cat. i remember cracking opening fat cans of cherry juicy juice in the kitchen. punching the little holes in the lid.

i remember putting candles out with diet coke and screaming when the glass shattered (we never said we were smart.) i remember not knowing any of the songs for karaoke on your mother's couch. your living room was always a little dark. i remember bringing him there once.

i remember the stairs up to your room (first door on the right.) i remember the weird long hallway with the steps in the middle that went to your mother and sister's rooms. we never went down that way. i remember the cd player in your room, sharing our music. (raspberry swirl - you never much cared for tori amos.) we used to make each other playlists, burned cds with clever little permanent marker titles that made sense when we were thirteen-sixteen-nineteen. i still listen to them.

last week i watched our show, and remembered that time we dressed up as our favorite characters. animenext, i think. i remembered you getting cat-called, your ass falling out of your little-too-faithful skirt. we'd painted everything black - the boots, the skirt, your hair. playing dr mario on a jailbroken blackjack phone (it was white and blue and i kind of loved it.) taking pictures by the lake. i still have them. it was such a good weekend, even if my car died in the parking lot (we left the lights on.)

i'm glad i have the pictures. i'm glad i could find the show. i'm glad i kept that binder full of burned cds and songs that make me think of you.

there's new people living in the house now (they've changed the color) who don't know about the treehouse that used to be just inside the woods. there's new people picking up the phone (you've changed your number) who don't know about the hours spent talking about nothing that mattered to anyone else.

i hope the weather down in georgia's nice this time of year. i hope the peaches are still sweet.

i hope wherever you are now, you're loved (you are.)

but most of all i hope you're well.

#help i got hit by the nostalgia bus #too many hormones for this shit rn #but it's like #do you know????#i haven't drawn with anyone else????#i stopped making comics at all?????#it just doesn't feel right if it's not with you #and i'm mad i let this happen #like. i should have tried harder #because we didn't even fight #we just drifted #and somehow that's fucking sadder #i almost would rather you hated me #than just forgot me #bc i don't know if you think of me even half as much as i think of you #you're the only one who changed their number.#and yes i recognize you were a chronic phone-misplacer #but like. email???#facebook?????#send a letter to my fucking mother????#they're still there #like. idk man.#i'm just always kinda low key sad about it #because i really do love you even now.#anyway. that got depressing.#will probably delete later.#lp talks

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jegulusofwesper · 2 years

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my favourite quotes from the books i read so far this year

“Good of you to join us, Ash.” Aiden grins as sadism sparks in his eyes. “Now look away from my wife before I create a diplomatic problem between England and the US.” ~ Twisted Kingdom - Rina Kent (dark romance, enemies to lovers)

Reading is one of my defence mechanisms to not get caught up in the world. The world makes me think of worldly things, like that night, I hate that night. ~ Ruthless Empire - Rina Kent

She must be going for intimidation, but all I see is a yapping chihuahua. ~ His Revelry - Bailey Nicole (LGBT, friends to enemies to lovers, knife play)

“Can I pick the music?” He narrows his eyes at me. “No, I know Joe your mind works. I’m not grinding on you to ‘is this the way to Amarillo’, or any song from six: the musical” ~ Nannying For The Neighbors - Lily Gold (RH, single dad, strippers, Harry Potter references)

“I doubt she even knows how to walk in heels.” “Then you’ll teach her,” my mother says. “I don’t know how to walk in heels, either,” I say sarcastically. // “If you ever talk to my wife like that again, I’ll empty that clip in your chest.” ~ Brutal Prince - Sophie Lark (ENEMIES to lovers - I’m pretty sure this is the one where he’s allergic to strawberries and she eats some before she kisses him and he goes into anaphylactic shock then tried to drown her in the pool so she “knows how it feels to not be able to breathe”, mafia romance)

Good luck? Have a lovely time, Mal. Hope you find a pretty Grisha, fall deeply in love, and make lots of gorgeous, disgustingly talented babies together. Oh well maybe he’ll fall in a ditch on his way there. ~ Shadow and Bone - Leigh Bardugo (fantasy, romance, YA, adventure)

Sturmhond twisted, and in a flash, he’d slipped Mal’s grip. A knife was in his hand, pulled from somewhere up his sleeve. “Step back, Orestrev. I’m keeping my temper for her sake, but I’d just as soon gut you like a carp.” ~ Siege and Storm - Leigh Bardugo (fantasy, romance, YA, adventure)

Kaz knew death. He could feel it’s presence on the ship now, looming over them, ready to take his wraith. // “You, Inej, you.” // Kaz bit him. // I’m going to get my money, Kaz vowed. And I’m going to get my girl. ~ Six of Crows - Leigh Bardugo

Kanej version. “I would have come for you. I would have come for you. And if I could walk, I’d crawl to you, and no matter how broken we were, we’d fight our way out together. Knives drawn, pistols blazing. Because that’s what we do we never stop fighting.” ~ Crooked Kingdom - Leigh Bardugo

Wesper version. Kuwei turned to Jesper. “You should visit me in Ravka. We could learn to use our powers together.” “How about I push you in the canal and we see if you know how to swim.” Wylan said with a very passable imitation of Kaz’s glare. Jesper shrugged. “I’ve heard he’s one of the richest men in Ketterdam. I couldn’t cross him.” ~ Crooked Kingdom - Leigh Bardugo

Helnik version. “I have been made to protect you. Even in death, I will find a way. Bury me so I can go to Djel. Bury me so I can take root and follow the water north.” “I promise, Matthias. I’ll take you home.” “Nina, I am already home.” ~ Crooked Kingdom - Leigh Bardugo

“Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t pull your lungs out through your mouth” ~ The Duke and I - Julia Quinn (tw: rape)

“You know what, Harry? You’re a pathetic, homophobic, self obsessed DICK and I really dislike you. Happy fucking birthday.” ~ Heartstopper 1 - Alice Oseman (LGBT, YA)

“Wait why are you crying?” “I just… seeing you sad makes me sad.” // “Why are straight people like this?” ~ Heartstopper 2 - Alice Oseman (LGBT, YA)

“I know but - it’s annoying when people think we’re just…” “Best platonic bros?” “…Oh my god” ~ Heartstopper 3 - Alice Oseman (LGBT, YA, tw: self harm, ED)

“You are a pathetic little man. Talk about my brother like that again and I’ll end you.” (You have no clue how much I love Tori for this ❤️)~ Heartstopper 4 - Alice Oseman (LGBT, YA, tw: self harm, ED)

My worst fear has gone from “grandma’s rag doll” to “being spiritually double penetrated by an ancient ghost” in the space of two days. // “Aside from the trauma, I’m great.” ~ The Fell of Dark - Caleb Roehig

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hyenahunt · 4 months

Text

Saga: Rivals - 27

Writer: Akira

Season: Winter

Characters: Hiyori, Seiya, Hokuto, Jin, Chiaki, Tori

Proofreading: 310mc (JP) & hyenahunt (ENG)

Translation: kotofucius

Chiaki: (Ohh!? Tomoe’s coming over here! Oh no, he’s hitching a free ride on our performance… You could say he's also turning up his "power of seduction"!)

[Read on my blog for the best viewing experience with Oi~ssu ♪]\

Location: Reverse Live Stage

Hiyori: “♪~♪~♪”

Hiyori: (Phew, it’s certainly growing rather repetitive.)

(But that's just to be expected… These three songs were predetermined before Reverse Live, and the rule is that the two competing units sing them at the same time.)

(If the units had a free choice of songs, then the situation would be too advantageous for us as Lilith, considering how we've made our preparations since long before.)

(This was a sudden concert for the other units, so they didn’t have enough practice.)

Hiyori: (Well, winning would be much easier if we took every advantage we could, though…)

(And we wouldn’t have to bore the audience like this by forcing them to sit through the same few songs, over and over.)

(It’s bothering me, just a bit. Hidaka-sensei was apparently the one who decided the workings of Reverse Live…)

(Perhaps Sensei doesn’t want to have such an overwhelming victory against everyone else, I suppose?)

Hiyori: (Whatever is he thinking? If he intends to lead me and Jun-kun towards an unhappy end… then I shan’t play so nice anymore.)

Seiya: “~…♪”

(Fufu. I see you’re simply brimming with questions, Hiyori-kun.)

(Yet, I do value that you spare no effort for your performance, that you move so as to give even the same song a different impression each time.)

(But Lilith has taken the stage countless times since the concert began in order to establish our lead — far more than Rain-bows.)

(Humans adapt, and we tire of seeing the same thing over and over — )

(With each performance, the audience’s interest naturally diminishes.)

(Yet, if Rain-bows was so trivial, naive, and weak, we would’ve overpowered them at this point.)

Hokuto: “♪~♪~♪”

Jin: “…☆”

Seiya: (But through one way or another, they’ve managed to give a refreshing performance each time.)

(I'd expect no less from experts of the DreamFest system — they've managed to guess at and deduce the right way to win this Reverse Live.)

(They’re strategically advancing onwards. Jin-kun's forte is bringing out a seductive performance of captivating the fans into falling in love with him, but they stashed it away — )

(All for the perfect chance to reveal it: in their decisive fight against Lilith.)

(With this, they're blowing away the new fans, and exciting the old ones by giving them just what they’d been waiting for.)

(The impact must be truly something and highly effective — they've played a good hand. And most likely, they’re still hiding many more.)

(But we’ve had our fair of practice as well, all this time… There's no way we'll lose when it comes to the sheer number of tactics.)

(Isn’t that right, Hiyori-kun? …Go on and show them. Seduction is one of your duo's specialties as well, isn’t it?)

Hiyori: “~…♪”

Chiaki: (Ohh!? Tomoe’s coming over here! Oh no, he’s hitching a free ride on our performance… You could say he's also turning up his "power of seduction"!)

(According to Reverse Live’s rule of us singing at the same time… This isn’t a foul.)

(He’s not interfering with our performance either, so we can’t make him stop.)

(But! I’m different from who I was last year; I won’t let you steal away the audience’s gaze!)

(I’ll fight Tomoe to restrain him! The rest are up to you, my comrades!)

Chiaki: (I believe in you, Rain-bows! They’re only three people, but we’re four! If it takes one of us to take down one of them, we have the advantage of one more person!)

(It's simple math! Our grand victory is assured…☆)

Hiyori: (Oh, what's this…? Nicely done, I must say, you've succeeded in becoming the very picture of seduction. So one really can change, so long as they have the will to… and to think you used to be so plain and dull, Megane-kun.)

(Nonetheless! I must ask that you don’t take me so lightly! Do you truly believe you can hold me back all on your own?)

(If so, then what a lark! Allow me to show you just what I can do…☆)

Tori: “♪~♪~♪”

Hiyori: (…Well, I never! That's quite some excellent teamwork! Tori-kun made a swift judgment and moved to keep me in check!)

(Even if it might prove a challenge for Chiaki-kun to handle alone, there should be no issue with Tori-kun’s assistance, you believe? Aha! Why, I won’t lose even when there's two of you…♪)

(Not to mention, we have Hidaka-sensei on our side. He’s a grandmaster you shan’t be able to take down even altogether…)

(Do you think it wise to occupy two people with me in spite of that?)

Tori: “~…♪”

Hiyori: (…Aha, I see how it is from that look on your face!)

(You understand well, Tori-kun — We have our pairs linked by destiny — Jun-kun and Sagami-sensei, and the Hidaka father-son pair… The likes of us outsiders should back off and leave them alone, shouldn't we?)

(Yes, yes, very well, then! I have no qualms! I shall take your hand and dance to your tune — after all, our feelings are one and the same…♪)

Tori: (Wow… Hiyori-sama’s feelings are getting across to me… It’s like bathing in warm sunshine.)

(We’re supposed to be enemies, fighting a critical battle…)

(But instead, it feels as though we’re comrades brightening up the same show together, supporting and elevating each other. No, it’s as though we’re melting together…)

(It feels like if I let my guard down, Hiyori-sama will fill me up from head to toe.)

(The thought of that makes me kinda happy, though. I was really such a big fan of yours…)

(It was once my dream to sing as a member of the old fine, alongside Eichi-sama and Hiyori-sama.)

Tori: (But, y'know, it’s no longer a dream I want to achieve so badly that I'd sell off all my other ones!)

(I’m Rain-bows, and at the same time a member of the new fine after you left it!)

(Now, fine is who I am!)

Tori: (And the present me… can shine way brighter than the fine of the past, who had no choice but to shed blood for a great cause!)

(Watch me, Hiyori-sama! Believe in me and cheer me on!)

(‘Cause I’ll be sure to turn even you into a huge fan of mine…☆)

Hiyori: (Ahahaha! Such a tomboyish princess, aren't you! I can hear your feelings loud and clear!)

(For the sole fact that we could inspire the birth of someone like you, perhaps there was value in our existence after all, hm?)

(Eichi-kun! Tsumugi-kun! Nagisa-kun! Are you all watching? Heaven can be found here, and so can a brilliant future…☆)

[ ☆ ]

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#ensemble stars #enstars #enstars translation #hyenahunttl #s: saga #tori himemiya #chiaki morisawa #hokuto hidaka #jin sagami #hiyori tomoe #seiya hidaka

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