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profblahson · 8 months

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Dies Irae

Eight notes.

Hell, this theme can be identified in fewer, especially when you know what you’re looking for. But eight notes is about all it takes, and you’ve got yourself one of the most iconic themes surrounding death, horror, and the macabre.

Even if you don’t know it by name, you almost certainly know it by sound.

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This is the first post the month of spooky and macabre music for Spooky Season! I wanted to start off with a classic and widely-used piece (or chant in this case). I’m planning a few of these, so keep an eye out throughout the month!

Art by @nynehells , go check them out!

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What is the Dies Irae?

From Latin, “Day of Wrath,” this sequence is dated as far back as the 13th century. While who formally wrote the chant is not entirely known (originally attributed, however, to Thomas of Celano, but that is now debated), the text is clearly based on a Biblical passage, Zep 1:14-16. Below is both the Latin-English translation of the Dies Irae’s opening stanza, and the referenced Bible text.

The poem does in fact end on a more hopeful note, but the opening lines are harrowing, and where a lot of music draws inspiration.

This is the most typical variation of the chant, in d minor. Already off to a great start, as d minor is often called one of the darkest and saddest keys in the circle. The closeness of the starting pitches (Me-Re/F-E is only a half step) adds tension, and the whole step resolution to our home note (Te-Do/C-D) is weak, leaving our ears a bit put off. We don’t travel far - only the distance of a Perfect Fourth, another interval full of tension, with little release. All this combined with such intense lyrics, it’s no wonder the music is so commonly used with death. Sung as a slow chant, and you’ve created a menacing piece of music that has haunted the world over for literal centuries.

Dies Irae in Music

The Dies Irae is ubiquitous in classical music and horror/thriller scores. We’ll take a quick look at some of the more popular uses of the piece! Two classical pieces and two modern pop culture references.

Hilariously, for purposes of this post, the first two examples don’t directly use the Dies Irae chant; instead, they set the text to frenetic, intense music (and I also like them :) )

Requiem - Mozart

The Dies Irae is part of the Ordinary, and so it’s included in Requiems, which is a Mass for the Dead. Mozart’s Requiem was the last piece he worked on before his death (passed before completing it), and it’s a huge choral work.

The Dies Irae appears relatively early on, and it’s a mood changer. Fast, aggressive, chaotic…it truly sounds like impending doom.

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The goal of this movement seems to make audiences feel the frantic energy of the text. It SCREAMS Day of Wrath!!

Requiem - Verdi

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Another use of the frantic energy depicted in the text. Verdi’s Dies Irae is also loud, bombastic, and quite literally hits you hard right away. Hear that gun-shot bass drum and timpani! The strings absolutely fly by; Intense and fast chromatic lines in the trumpets sound as though they’re heralding in one’s doom. (This one’s my favorite btw)

Common to both of these examples: dynamics are turned up to 11, their tempi are fast and relentless, and both use wicked scalar motion which, combined with the speed, create a blast of sound that simply pummel listeners.

Some more recent uses of the Dies Irae in media up next! For these two, we actually hear the chant proper, not use of the text.

The Shining Theme

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I mean, it's quite literally the Dies Irae! This movie even uses the second half of the chant that a lot of pieces and references don't get into. Right off the bat, hearing the Dies Irae, we know this film is going to include a lot of death (which is exactly what occurs). The main theme is played on this funky organ/synth, adding atmosphere, with little room for release.

Sweeney Todd

So, I’m gonna just link Sideways’ video on this musical, because he just does a better job than I ever could. Please watch this video because it’s oh so good.

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The TL;DW of the video is: the Dies Irae is used throughout the music of Sweeney Todd. It’s literally baked into (pun intended) the score. Invert notes here, play it backwards there, change the rhythm a bit, or reharmonize it this way, and you can create an entire musical that hints at the themes of death right off the bat! It’s very clever writing.

Closing Thoughts

It’s obviously very difficult to separate the Dies Irae and the concept of Death, since even from its inception the text and music has, uh, been like that! The intense energy of the text lends itself to frantic music, and composers have taken advantage of this for a long time. Even when just hinting at the chant, the music takes on a more sinister, intense mood, and composers can take and morph the primary chant into what they want, while still implying Death.

I actually have two more classical pieces that use the Dies Irae that I’d like to talk about in a bit more depth separate from this post (plus this one is already long as is!). One of them is often cited as one of the first and most known uses of the chant to imply character death in the music; the other uses the theme a bit differently. I’m just excited to write and look at a bit more because they’ve got spooky and macabre elements!

Thanks for listening and your time!

#Youtube #spooky music #dies irae #profblogson

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reflections-in-a-critical-eye · 2 years

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Frenchie army here. about that anon asking about racism/kpop in France, honestly I don’t have much to add I share your thoughts BMT.does racism play a part in kpop not being more popular here?Probably. is that the main reason? No, don’t think so. I think it’s much more complex than that and i am personal.there’s an important asian community in France (mostly chinese), the Korean community is tiny and concentrated in the capital city. The average French person doesn’t know much about Asia and Asian cultures in general and even less about SK. Sometimes it just boils down to a very simple reason imo:it’s far away, we don’t have much connections/a shared history, our cultures are extremely different, the language is also very different etc also I guess most people aren’t really interested in getting to know more nor have the time/the ressources to dive into a whole new culture, as sad as it is. I’ve got many friends who aren’t interested in kpop because of its reputation, they don’t know much but are influenced by stereotypes, think it’s too heavily manufactured, and that’s it. Or some just don’t vibe with it, same way I have no interest in latin music for ex because it’s just not my thing in general. Also, to me it doesn’t seem like the kpop industry makes much efforts to develop in Europe. It’s still very much a niche thing here as BMT explained. Outside of East Asia, the big kpop labels seem to focus primarily on the US market- understandably, it’s the biggest and most influential one. As BMT said it’s also closely correlated to your age range and the platforms you’re engaging with.so if racism might play a part in why it’s not popular over there, it’s probably not the main reason imo. (Sorry for my crappy English btw! typical frenchie lmao)

Hey anon, thanks for coming back and bringing some more background info on the general audience and the communities. I think your point about not having a connection to it is important. Not the main reason, but it's one relevant aspect. And it's not like France doesn't welcome K-Pop. As PPTM said in her reblog, a lot of events and concerts were held in France, but it's also true that Europe at large is not a big market for this genre. And you're also right, because K-Pop does focus more on the US-market. In the case of France or other countries, this is a topic that would be better understood from a historical point of view and it would take a lot of time and work for me to bring that background, especially since my history knowledge of France hasn't been polished in a while. Yes, racism is a part of how white French people look at other cultures. And not just France. I'm not telling this for you anon because I'm sure you know this better than me, but the history of colonialism and subsequently post-colonialism, plays a big part here. And France colonized some parts of Africa and Asia as well - what was called Indochina. And in the postcolonialist era and due to migration, other cultures were beginning a quite difficult process of integration that ended up being reflected in art as well and what became mainstream and what not. In film studies, I read about Beur Cinema, especially the movement that started in the 80s - film about shared colonial experiences and cultures.

What I'm trying to say in very simplistic terms (if anyone wants to know more, you can do a little research about it), is that France is not a white homogenous country in which the citizens are mostly racist towards an East Asian country and that's why K-Pop didn't reach there as well. The issue is way more complicated and nuanced and I bet there are some studies and research articles on the K-Pop scene in France for those who are interested in this topic.

*For the original asker who wanted my opinion and that of anon, I hope this helps. And for you, Frenchie anon, please forgive me for my bad, under researched attempt at talking about French culture and colonialism. I mostly used some left over information in my brain from some other areas of research.

#bmt asks #frenchie anon #kpop #kpop in France

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fff777 · 6 months

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Finally watched the Invincible Youth videos

Episode 1

I watched the teaser "interview" videos that each of the members did and they were all talking about joining a dance competition.

They're trying to film it like a reality show, as opposed to typical idol variety content, which I think could be interesting.

Any problem there is, Sicheng calls for Kun-ge.

Actor Sicheng sneaking into Hendery's homework. I know it's about the dance competition but they set up a second plot for this. Like there was absolutely no need but this is fun now I want to know what's going on lol.

Ten roleplaying as an American transfer student.

Kun: Speak some English for us. Ten: Can you understand it though? Kind of a burn.

Oh yeah I remember now, Ten's interview had a whole ass subplot where he wanted to join the competition to show his crush that he was actually cool and a good dancer lol. Sicheng thinks it's romantic.

Ten: Give me 10 seconds, because my name is Ten haha

Oh no now Ten is adding ANOTHER subplot where he was actually Captain Kun's fan.

The way Hendery tried to be dramatic by turning around and going "I want you" like he's a judge on the Voice.

The way Hendery is manspreading right now.

Kun's the one who's worried because he's like "what if he's actually joining the team only because he wants my autograph and he wants to eat with me??" You know these guys are famous because of their massive trust issues about getting close with fans.

Xiao Dejun, another fan.

Xiaojun getting teary eyed about his dreamz.

Hendery and Winwin are so chill about letting people in while Kun's the one who's all scrutinizing and shit.

The way Hendery was biting his lip before Dejun even began

Don't laugh, don't laugh

Crying from Dejun's ~*~PASSION~*~

I wonder how much of that Dejun planned and practised lmfao.

It's the way Dejun sings his entire accompanying track himself while dancing XD Also the Michael Jackson impression XD Someone's been hanging out with Haechan

I don't think I've seen this dance of Kun's that now both Ten and Dejun have performed but it is certainly the in joke right now among the team

Kun: We'll call you :)

Hendery being 睇好你! XD

Dejun left with a final hearteu, definitely a fan

Yangyang also roleplaying as an American transfer student.

Yangyang ALSO bringing up Kun's dance video

Sicheng and Hendery getting with the "太可憐啊!!" agenda wrt Yangyang's story.

The light green rug that the guys stand on keep getting wrinkled and bunched up because they're dancing on top of it.

LOL Yangyang just making constant unmoving eye contact with Qian Kun.

The way Hendery says 對 like he's just speaking Cantonese lol.

Sicheng and Hendery trying to convince Kun that he's being a hardass :3

Oooh Hendery's applying for a transfer? The plot thickenssss

Dejun: I can dance ALL of the Latin dances

Ten showing off his long legs from ballet and Dejun showing off his waist from dancing Latin dance XD

Ten feeling up Dejun's ass (real)

Btw ever since I saw Ten with the ponytail I thought he looked so cute with that hairstyle :3

Yangyang relaying the gossip he heard to Ten and Dejun.

I did see a short video (tiktok?) before of WayV in front of a screen saying something like the second annual Weishen High School dance competition (or something like that) and I wonder if that is related to this.

The man, the legend

Dejun's over the top reactions XD He's building his variety arsenal, isn't he

They're dancing to Nectar heh.

Yangyang and Kun were sooo enjoying it when Kun was correcting Yangyang's dancing.

TEAM BONDING MONTAGE!!!!!!

WayV rings!!!

Thought Ten was just wearing a normal hoodie underneath his blazer. Nope. Sleeveless Balenciaga hoodie.

Ooh ok plot tension. XiaoTenYang keep messing up the dance and Kun is like ugh guys come on while Sicheng and Hendery are like it's ok, let's try again!

Trust Kun to do the lecturing ^^;;

OMG DRAMA

Dance is not ready, team is in shambles

Yangyang let slip that Hendery wanted to switch schools and Kun was like u wot m8?

LMAO they have the ads underneath like kdramas except they're all fake ads XD

Weishen Senior High as the location sponsor

WayVlicious as the food sponsor

Zhenni Uniform Store as the clothing sponsor

WayZenNi as official sponsors

Episode 2

Hendery being like who fucking told you?! at Yangyang

吃爆米花

Yo Hendery is speaking from the heart here. Yeah it's acting, but if I was thinking about a situation where I had to leave my friends not of my own choice, I think I could conjure up some tears.

Sicheng breaking character because of the stolen valour XD Xiaojun was like "look, Kun, did you take this photo for him?" in an attempt to mend the relationship between Kun and Hendery and Sicheng was like "that photo was taken by ME!!!!!!!"

They're going to win with the power of friendship and competition!!!

Getting their game faces on

Yangyang putting foundation on Dejun's chest and abs

Omfg Kun inspecting his face

The guys primping Hendery to help his nerves

Hendery: 等會可以嗎? Kun: 可以啊! 我們有啥不行啊? Kun is such a parent lol.

Xiaohen :3

They let him do his dance during Nectar ToT

Dejun doing his Michael Jackson routine during the dance lmfao

So they just had Hendery play two roles lol

Yangyang unmasked

LOL we get a conclusion to the Ten crush saga in which the girl likes a teammate instead ToT

And then with the power of the narrative Hendery doesn't have to change schools lol

LOL a scout had sought Dejun but...for a dog model

OMG YES NGS!!!!!!

Ten: I've been learning ballet since I was 3, for 10 years. Sicheng: You're only 13 years old?

Kun and Sicheng sharing headphones :3 (that aren't plugged in, if you see the other end lol)

Kun kept throwing the food AT Yangyang instead of throwing it up for Yangyang to catch lmao

The guys could NOT hold it in when Kun and Hendery had their big argument scene

The way ALL of them kept turning around because they couldn't stop laughing X'D

Oh man this was soooo fun. It reminded me a bit of Dream's blind dating show where there was a rough story line but they mostly improvised. In this case, there was a harder story line and they made it more like a drama with a story than just a few static cameras. I hope WayV gets to do more stuff like this because it was so fun!!!!!!

#screencaps & commentaries #nct #wayv

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chjust · 2 years

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Star warfare alien invasion gameplay

The Russian government takes the bait and suspects the U.S. In the first MW2 reveal, we hear the culprits saying, "Remember, no Russian." Implying that they want to make sure no one thinks this is just a Russian group attacking citizens of their own country but instead make it look like Americans did it or at least citizens of an English-speaking country. Even with a theory like that, it's easy to find the holes said: " This, alongside your thoughts from another thread are similar to how I felt about the video. I've read some interesting ideas floating around the IW forums (OH YES, I'M TAKING IT THAT SERIOUSLY) and the one that caught my attention focused around the airport shooting. of being responsible which is where that quote in the next MW2 campaign video comes in, "This appear to be the work of the Ultra-Nationalists.The Kremlin however, sees it differently." After that, it's pretty much up for debate as to how the Russians are convinced that they should declare war. I've read some interesting ideas floating around the IW forums (OH YES, I'M TAKING IT THAT SERIOUSLY) and the one that caught my attention focused around the airport shooting. "This, alongside your thoughts from another thread are similar to how I felt about the video. But I'll reserve final judgment as the game get's closer to release. Then in the latter levels, we will flee to the forests in the hills and call ourselves the Wolverines! I'm getting a bit bummed at the direction of where this game is going. I guess it's going to be the same old "Secret attack by Russia". Sandbags in-front of the capitol? So it is another army. I watched it again and my opinion has gotten worse. But I'll reserve final judgment as the game get's closer to said: Like a disaster film, and your turning your head to you side and saying over, and over again: "Really?!" I'm sorry. But this? This looks like a bad B action movie. A terrorist attack, a bombing of some-sort, I can sadly see happening. Aside from that, the radical differences in context and logistics doesn't match up at all. I'm not exactly sure how you are making that connection, aside from that both the fictional and real were both attacks on U.S. systematic mobilization and siege of Washington D.C. People on this thread have pointed to 9/11 as reasoning for the plausible scenario of the. I guess the ultra-nationalists took over Russia. How? I really hope Infinity Ward makes up a really good story to justify this. In the trailer the marines seem to be attacking the capitol head on. Don't get me wrong: There was a lot in COD4 that was a bit far fetched, but there was always this plausible feeling that it could happen. The gunmen at the airport looked like a reminiscent situation akin to the horrible attacks in Mumbai. I have high hopes with this sequel, everything so far has seemed to demonstrate that same sense of edgy familiarity. I was deeply moved by COD4 it's story, while on the edge of fantasy, fairly grounded in reality. BTW, How do you know that it was an African in the Brazilian slum? There are people within Latin America that have African traits but were born and raised in Latin America.Ĭopy and paste what I thought about it from another thread: It's not that the MW2 story is not coherent, it's just that they've been showing way too many random locales without telling us how they're all connected and even then that's not an unusual thing for IW to do it, the CoD4 videos were EVEYWHERE in terms of international spots and even it's campaign made sense after you played it. "A terrorist attack wouldn't make sense considering that barbed wire, sandbags and tank traps were set up in the video implying that this battle was planned and either side prepared for it. Don't expect the story line to be coherent at all. As far as most US citizens are concerned every inhabitant of the Middle-East is a terrorist capable of destroying a whole fucking city all by themselves. Look, they put African warlords in Brazilian favelas (slum neighborhoods, I think is what they are called in English). from the trailer it seemed to be a terrorist attack.

#Star warfare alien invasion gameplay

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hellomynameisbisexual · 3 years

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Here's a shortlist of those who realized that I — a cis woman who'd identified as heterosexual for decades of life — was in fact actually bi, long before I realized it myself recently: my sister, all my friends, my boyfriend, and the TikTok algorithm.

On TikTok, the relationship between user and algorithm is uniquely (even sometimes uncannily) intimate. An app which seemingly contains as many multitudes of life experiences and niche communities as there are people in the world, we all start in the lowest common denominator of TikTok. Straight TikTok (as it's popularly dubbed) initially bombards your For You Page with the silly pet videos and viral teen dances that folks who don't use TikTok like to condescendingly reduce it to.

Quickly, though, TikTok begins reading your soul like some sort of divine digital oracle, prying open layers of your being never before known to your own conscious mind. The more you use it, the more tailored its content becomes to your deepest specificities, to the point where you get stuff that's so relatable that it can feel like a personal attack (in the best way) or (more dangerously) even a harmful trigger from lifelong traumas.

For example: I don't know what dark magic (read: privacy violations) immediately clued TikTok into the fact that I was half-Brazilian, but within days of first using it, Straight TikTok gave way to at first Portuguese-speaking then broader Latin TikTok. Feeling oddly seen (being white-passing and mostly American-raised, my Brazilian identity isn't often validated), I was liberal with the likes, knowing that engagement was the surefire way to go deeper down this identity-affirming corner of the social app.

TikTok made lots of assumptions from there, throwing me right down the boundless, beautiful, and oddest multiplicities of Alt TikTok, a counter to Straight TikTok's milquetoast mainstreamness.

Home to a wide spectrum of marginalized groups, I was giving out likes on my FYP like Oprah, smashing that heart button on every type of video: from TikTokers with disabilities, Black and Indigenous creators, political activists, body-stigma-busting fat women, and every glittering shade of the LGBTQ cornucopia. The faves were genuine, but also a way to support and help offset what I knew about the discriminatory biases in TikTok's algorithm.

My diverse range of likes started to get more specific by the minute, though. I wasn't just on general Black TikTok anymore, but Alt Cottagecore Middle-Class Black Girl TikTok (an actual label one creator gave her page's vibes). Then it was Queer Latina Roller Skating Girl TikTok, Women With Non-Hyperactive ADHD TikTok, and then a double whammy of Women Loving Women (WLW) TikTok alternating between beautiful lesbian couples and baby bisexuals.

Looking back at my history of likes, the transition from queer “ally” to “salivating simp” is almost imperceptible.

There was no one precise "aha" moment. I started getting "put a finger down" challenges that wouldn't reveal what you were putting a finger down for until the end. Then, 9-fingers deep (winkwink), I'd be congratulated for being 100% bisexual. Somewhere along the path of getting served multiple WLW Disney cosplays in a single day and even dom lesbian KinkTok roleplay — or whatever the fuck Bisexual Pirate TikTok is — deductive reasoning kind of spoke for itself.

But I will never forget the one video that was such a heat-seeking missile of a targeted attack that I was moved to finally text it to my group chat of WLW friends with a, "Wait, am I bi?" To which the overwhelming consensus was, "Magic 8 Ball says, 'Highly Likely.'"

Serendipitously posted during Pride Month, the video shows a girl shaking her head at the caption above her head, calling out confused and/or closeted queers who say shit like, "I think everyone is a LITTLE bisexual," to the tune of "Closer" by The Chainsmokers. When the lyrics land on the word "you," she points straight at the screen — at me — her finger and inquisitive look piercing my hopelessly bisexual soul like Cupid's goddamn arrow.

Oh no, the voice inside my head said, I have just been mercilessly perceived.

As someone who had, in fact, done feminist studies at a tiny liberal arts college with a gender gap of about 70 percent women, I'd of course dabbled. I've always been quick to bring up the Kinsey scale, to champion a true spectrum of sexuality, and to even declare (on multiple occasions) that I was, "straight, but would totally fuck that girl!"

Oh no, the voice inside my head returned, I've literally just been using extra words to say I was bi.

After consulting the expertise of my WLW friend group (whose mere existence, in retrospect, also should've clued me in on the flashing neon pink, purple, and blue flag of my raging bisexuality), I ran to my boyfriend to inform him of the "news."

"Yeah, baby, I know. We all know," he said kindly.

"How?!" I demanded.

Well for one, he pointed out, every time we came across a video of a hot girl while scrolling TikTok together, I'd without fail watch the whole way through, often more than once, regardless of content. (Apparently, straight girls do not tend to do this?) For another, I always breathlessly pointed out when we'd pass by a woman I found beautiful, often finding a way to send a compliment her way. ("I'm just a flirt!" I used to rationalize with a hand wave, "Obvs, I'm not actually sexually attracted to them!") Then, I guess, there were the TED Talk-like rants I'd subject him to about the thinly veiled queer relationship in Adventure Time between Princess Bubblegum and Marcelyne the Vampire Queen — which the cowards at Cartoon Network forced creators to keep as subtext!

And, well, when you lay it all out like that...

But my TikTok-fueled bisexual awakening might actually speak less to the omnipotence of the app's algorithm, and more to how heteronormativity is truly one helluva drug.

Sure, TikTok bombarded me with the thirst traps of my exact type of domineering masc lady queers, who reduced me to a puddle of drool I could no longer deny. But I also recalled a pivotal moment in college when I briefly questioned my heterosexuality, only to have a lesbian friend roll her eyes and chastise me for being one of those straight girls who leads Actual Queer Women on. I figured she must know better. So I never pursued any of my lady crushes in college, which meant I never experimented much sexually, which made me conclude that I couldn't call myself bisexual if I'd never had actual sex with a woman. I also didn't really enjoy lesbian porn much, though the fact that I'd often find myself fixating on the woman during heterosexual porn should've clued me into that probably coming more from how mainstream lesbian porn is designed for straight men.

The ubiquity of heterormativity, even when unwittingly perpetrated by members of the queer community, is such an effective self-sustaining cycle. Aside from being met with queer-gating (something I've since learned bi folks often experience), I had a hard time identifying my attraction to women as genuine attraction, simply because it felt different to how I was attracted to men.

Heteronormativity is truly one helluva drug.

So much of women's sexuality — of my sexuality — can feel defined by that carnivorous kind of validation you get from men. I met no societal resistance in fully embodying and exploring my desire for men, either (which, to be clear, was and is insatiable slut levels of wanting that peen.) But in retrospect, I wonder how many men I slept with not because I was truly attracted to them, but because I got off on how much they wanted me.

My attraction to women comes with a different texture of eroticism. With women (and bare with a baby bi, here), the attraction feels more shared, more mutual, more tender rather than possessive. It's no less raw or hot or all-consuming, don't get me wrong. But for me at least, it comes more from a place of equality rather than just power play. I love the way women seem to see right through me, to know me, without us really needing to say a word.

I am still, as it turns out, a sexual submissive through-and-through, regardless of what gender my would-be partner is. But, ignorantly and unknowingly, I'd been limiting my concept of who could embody dominant sexual personas to cis men. But when TikTok sent me down that glorious rabbit hole of masc women (who know exactly what they're doing, btw), I realized my attraction was not to men, but a certain type of masculinity. It didn't matter which body or genitalia that presentation came with.

There is something about TikTok that feels particularly suited to these journeys of sexual self-discovery and, in the case of women loving women, I don't think it's just the prescient algorithm. The short-form video format lends itself to lightning bolt-like jolts of soul-bearing nakedness, with the POV camera angles bucking conventions of the male gaze, which entrenches the language of film and TV in heterosexual male desire.

In fairness to me, I'm far from the only one who missed their inner gay for a long time — only to have her pop out like a queer jack-in-the-box throughout a near year-long quarantine that led many of us to join TikTok. There was the baby bi mom, and scores of others who no longer had to publicly perform their heterosexuality during lockdown — only to realize that, hey, maybe I'm not heterosexual at all?

Flooded with video after video affirming my suspicions, reflecting my exact experiences as they happened to others, the change in my sexual identity was so normalized on TikTok that I didn't even feel like I needed to formally "come out." I thought this safe home I'd found to foster my baby bisexuality online would extend into the real world.

But I was in for a rude awakening.

Testing out my bisexuality on other platforms, casually referring to it on Twitter, posting pictures of myself decked out in a rainbow skate outfit (which I bought before realizing I was queer), I received nothing but unquestioning support and validation. Eventually, I realized I should probably let some members of my family know before they learned through one of these posts, though.

Daunted by the idea of trying to tell my Latina Catholic mother and Swiss Army veteran father (who's had a crass running joke about me being a "lesbian" ever since I first declared myself a feminist at age 12), I chose the sibling closest to me. Seeing as how gender studies was one of her majors in college too, I thought it was a shoo-in. I sent an off-handed, joke-y but serious, "btw I'm bi now!" text, believing that's all that would be needed to receive the same nonchalant acceptance I found online.

It was not.

I didn't receive a response for two days. Hurt and panicked by what was potentially my first mild experience of homophobia, I called them out. They responded by insisting we need to have a phone call for such "serious" conversations. As I calmly tried to express my hurt on said call, I was told my text had been enough to make this sibling worry about my mental wellbeing. They said I should be more understanding of why it'd be hard for them to (and I'm paraphrasing) "think you were one way for twenty-eight years" before having to contend with me deciding I was now "something else."

But I wasn't "something else," I tried to explain, voice shaking. I hadn't knowingly been deceiving or hiding this part of me. I'd simply discovered a more appropriate label. But it was like we were speaking different languages. Other family members were more accepting, thankfully. There are many ways I'm exceptionally lucky, my IRL environment as supportive as Baby Bi TikTok. Namely, I'm in a loving relationship with a man who never once mistook any of it as a threat, instead giving me all the space in the world to understand this new facet of my sexuality.

I don't have it all figured out yet. But at least when someone asks if I listen to Girl in Red on social media, I know to answer with a resounding, "Yes," even though I've never listened to a single one of her songs. And for now, that's enough.

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letitrainathousandflames · 3 years

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I'm sorry, I've clearly missed something, but could you kindly explain to me why exactly there's a blacklist going around, and why you want to be on it?

No no, I don’t wanna be in it. Or rather, I don’t mind, really. Here’s the deal, antis, aka people that don’t know how to differentiate fiction from reality apparently made a dainty list w/ blogs that post ship content pairing clones w/ other clones flagging it as “incest”, which is a bit ridiculous since they’re clones, not literal brothers.

But that’s not all! Last I’ve heard, this goes along with much more serious accusations, like racism/pedophilia, as if you could equate liking shipping fictional characters to real-life bigotry. It’s surreal.

The wackiest thing about it all is that I barely ever reblog clone/clone content here (I have a sideblog for that, @cloneshipping , since I know some people don’t dig the clone/clone stuff), and for some ungodly reason I got put on that list.

My opinion about the whole thing is that the people making these kind of lists are engaging with fandom in a way that they’re constantly looking for issues and things to be angry about, and things to accuse others of, and looking avidly for content they hate rather than content they enjoy.

I’m not on a high horse or anything here, I actually used to engage in fandom this way for a long time before I realized how draining and negative it felt; it was like I was always angry and never pleased with anything.

I was so busy bashing rey/kylo (a ship I still hate btw) that I was unable to enjoy the parts of Star Wars I really liked like the prequels and tcw. I wasted so much energy writing essay-long posts about why “X ship promotes abuse” I didn’t even realize I was trapped in a terribly abusive relationship with my ex.

I was so obsessed about fictional problems of fictional worlds regarding fictional characters, and with telling others how to consume media content the way I deemed right, that fandom became a place of anger and nagging rather than one of joy and community.

Now I just… don’t care. And I’m so much happier now that I don’t care anymore. I have time + energy to interact with the parts of fandom I like, to talk w/ people that ship what I ship, and whenever I find content I don’t enjoy? The block button is right there. Boop. Gone. Goodbye.

“Ah but enjoying/making content of this abusive ship normalizes abuse” shut up. A consenting reader clicking on a tagged non-con fic is way different from a teen watching the thousandth movie where rape scenes are filmed sexily and stalking men are shown as dreamy partners are. Go scream at actual show runners/directors, not small fandom creators.

“Ah but x content is problematic” so are horror movies, we as humans like to play in a safe sandbox of fiction to experience feelings or horror, fear, shame, etc safely and causing no harm to others. I hate body horror. I don’t go screaming at every body horror blog here to stop posting - I simply blacklisted “body horror/” and moved on.

(like, literally I am a brown latine and I was told I’m “fetishizing brown people” because I write clone smut. These people just can’t stop looking for issues, even when there are none)

I’m rambling… sorry. So, to sum up, people more worried about what makes them angry in fandom instead of what makes them happy made a list of “people that make content I don’t like uwu” and apparently I’m in it. Hope the brainrot improves and they get better soon, I guess. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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jyndor · 3 years

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It is OFFENSIVE to think that Cassian, who is twenty-six years old, has no other person who touches his life in a monumental way besides Jyn, a white woman.

It pains me to think that Cassian, a man just a few years younger than I am and btw a beloved addition to the SW canon for so Latine fans and fans of color, should be alone for his whole fucking life to satisfy some possessive white women shippers who can't imagine someone having multiple important relationships in his life.

I was neutral on Cass having a love interest bc I assume they won't be in the picture due to fridging or something tragic, but now I hope they give him a love interest and they are able to end their relationship without fridging since he cannot be in a relationship by Rogue One (which is CANON SO WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM), just to spite these small, sad little fuckers online.

If you feel threatened by a ship lol first off seek therapy, but second you need to recognize that no one is taking away the film. No relationship will make Jyn unimportant to Cassian.

Hadder doesn't make Cassian unimportant to Jyn. Come on.

#i saw the post #i hate the post #and if you liked it i need you to reconsider WHY #rogue one #cassian andor #andor #fuck if you make a post like that just keep it out of the tags #fandom racism #because it IS

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newagesispage · 3 years

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JULY 2021

THE RIB PAGE

*****

They are still uncovering statues on Easter Island.

*****

Everyone is talking about ‘Exterminate all the Brutes” from Raoul Peck.

*****

Vampire bats, prevalent in Latin America may be on the way to the U.S.

*****

What they call faith, I call strength.

*****

Criss angel will open CABLP, a restaurant in Overton, Nevada. The letters stand for breakfast, lunch and pizza and will include a free meal outreach program to help under privileged and pediatric cancer families.

*****

A fifth ocean in Antartica??** There have also found 4 new ocean species: Apolemia, Tegula Kusairo, Leptarma Biju and Duobrachium Sparksae.

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In China they have found a possible new species in a skull that is 140,000 years old.

*****

Why would Jeffrey Toobin be back at CNN?? Surely there are more young deserving talking heads around.

*****

The Keystone pipeline is dead.

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5,000 pounds of explosives were discovered in a home in South LA. LAPD seems to have detonated the fireworks in a truck right there in the neighborhood. They were too dangerous to transport but not enough to blow them up??? How stupid are these people??

*****

Days alert : So glad to see Clyde again even if it is only for a moment!! **BTW, I do not understand the Daytime Emmy noms this year as they relate to Days. I really was pulling for Victoria Koneful (Ciara) and she won but George DelHoya (Orpheus), Tamara Braun (Ava) and Cady McClain (Jennifer)??? I was shocked when Cady McClain won. I mean, she was so whiny. I question my own ability to judge a performance. In most categories, the winner was usually the one I thought was the worst option. I was happy for Max Gail and CBS Sunday Morning. Some performances were sure overlooked. What about James Read (Clyde), Paul Telfer (Xander), Bryan Dattilo (Lucas), Robert Scott Wilson (Ben), Daniel Kerr (Eli) and Lindsay Arnold (Allie) ?? As annoying as the Kristen character is and as long as it took me to get used to Stacy Haiduk in the role, she kicked ass this year. Did they even submit clips?? And, they are not often on but Tony and Anna forever!!!!!!** And how wonderful is it to see the Dimera boys all together and recounting the whole fam for the votes? **And one more thing, Days was not even nominated for writing while Bold and the Beautiful spends every other show with the Liam character standing in front of the fireplace making excuses for the same shit! Just push repeat, C,mon!!**Philip had a great line for Brady about following Kristen like a zombie.** Dis Eli really say, “Peacock and chill??’ Are these the things they will have to do to do to stay on the air? It took me right out of the show. It was the same day the ads for Days on Peacock started. OMG

*****

Texas Gov. Abbott vetoed a bill that would make it illegal to chain up dogs without water.**ATexas churches have lost their 501(c) (3) status because it actively ‘educates’ its members on electing specific Republican politicians. –Pete West* This should have been happening long ago. Many churches I know of do this and should not be allowed to have it both ways. #tax the church

*****

Ellen Burstyn, Jane Curtin, Loretta Devine, Christopher Lloyd, James Caan, French Stewart and Ann-Margaret in Queen Bees and directed by Michael Lembeck?? Yes please!!

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NY has suspended Giuliani’s law license.

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Miracle Workers: The Oregon Trail is coming to TBS, this will be season 3 in the series.

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What is this about Bowen Yang?? A podcast about a sperm bank heist?? Yeow!!

*****

David Geffen has given $150,000,000 to Yale drama school: Every student will be tuition- free in perpetuity.

*****

Allison Mack was sentenced to 3 years.

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The latest in sexual assault news: James Franco has agreed to 2.2 mil settlement in sexual misconduct case.** Kyle Massey was charged with immoral communication with a minor.**Bill Cosby is out and here are some reactions: A terrible wrong is being righted.: a miscarriage of justice is corrected. I fully support survivors of sexual assault coming forward.- Phylicia Rashad*I really don’t ever want to hear again as to why many survivors don’t report their rape or assault.- Charlotte Clymer* Women are showing great restraint in not burning everything to the ground right now and I don’t know how they do it.-Jeff Tiedrich

*****

Amazon is making a series of A League of Their Own with Nick Offerman as the coach.

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Does anyone else have family members that are rich, transient, know it all snobs??

*****

It looks like New York’s ranked choice voting is leaning toward Eric Adams for Mayor.

*****

Michigan republicans investigating voter fraud found 2 incidents. One is for a lady who voted by mail and then died, the other was confusion over a man who had the same name as his Father. That was it!

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Jamie Lee Curtis will get the Golden Lion for lifetime achievement at the 78th Venice International Film Fest in September.

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Jerry Seinfeld will star in and direct ‘Unfrosted’ about Pop-Tarts.

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Why is Airbnb still listing properties in illegal settlements and outposts in Palestinian occupied territories? –James J. Zogby

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Merrick Garland has announced that the Justice department sued Georgia over the voting rights.

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The NFL says that it will halt the use of “race norming” which assumed black players started out with lower cognitive functioning in a $1 billion settlement of brain injury claims. The practice had made it harder for black players to qualify. –The Associated Press.

*****

Scary Clown 45 ended his ‘From the desk of Donald J. Trump’ blog after 29 days. Word is that he felt he was being mocked in the media.

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Religious leadership keeps engaging in partisan politics on behalf of politicians that are particularly unpopular with younger people and they wonder why younger people are disenchanted with the church. – Schooley ** Give young people credit as well for seeing through the hype and lies of these religious hypocrites who use God only as a weapon and a threat. –Larry Charles

*****

Amazon will stop drug testing for employment. Can every other company jump on this bandwagon? Let’s judge employees on the work they give.

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The Backstreet Boys and NSync are going to work together??!!

*****

Showtime is bringing back American Gigolo with Jon Bernthal.

*****

If Biden can carry out air strikes without proper authorization, the Senate can raise the minimum wage without the Parliamentarian. –Alexandra M. Hunt

Reality Winner is out!!

*****

Judy Woodruff has been given the Peabody award for journalistic integrity.

*****

Donald Glover is bringing us Hive. Malia Obama will be a writer.

*****

Nicholas Cage has married Riko Shibata.

*****

Catch and Kill: The podcast tapes, is here on HBO.

*****

Bryan Cranston and Annette Bening will star in Jerry and Marge go large.

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Amblin Partners and Netflix are partners.

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Fall 2022 will bring the Roybal School of film and television production for underserved communities. They are looking to help 9th, 10th, 11th and 12th grade students. Among others, the program was cofounded by George Clooney, Don Cheadle, Kerry Washington, Mindy Kaling and Eva Longoria.

*****

Will there be a Wedding Crashers2??

*****

The Mysterious Benedict Society stars Tony Hale.** I would love to see he and Danny Pudi in something together.

*****

Actor Stephen Amell from Arrow was removed from a plane after getting into it with his wife. A source said he was drunk and screaming. An official source said that they removed “an unruly customer.”** Andy Dick was arrested for assault with a deadly weapon, allegedly assaulting his partner, Lucas with a metal chair.

*****

So.. Fox news was digitally altering the faces of people they did not care for??? Is there no end to their bullshit????

*****

Mark Ronson is set to marry Grace Gummer.

*****

Crime shows seem to be in the cycle of prisoners and the women who get a thrill from helping them escape.

*****

Wolfgang Van Halen has released a debut album: Mammoth

*****

Everyone seems to love Danny Trejo’s memoir and its honesty.

*****

David Spade will take over as host of Bachelor in Paradise.

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I am sickened when I see the first question that pops up on an online search is the net worth of a person. Oh this twisted world.

*****

Life is a short pause between 2 great mysteries. –Jung

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Prince Harry and Meghan had a daughter that they named Lilibet ‘Lili” Diana.

*****

Michael Flynn’s brother Charles (who withheld help from the capitol on Jan. 6), leads the U.S. Army Pacific and commands 90,000 troops.

*****

I am so excited to read ‘The Boys’ from Clint and Ron Howard, due out in October.

*****

Dave Chappelle closed out the Tribeca film fest with a surprise concert. This was the first in person film fest since Covid. Look for This time, this place which premiered there.

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Ron Wood will release the album Mr. Luck: A tribute to Jimmy Reed on Sept. 3

*****

Howard Stern signed a new $500 mil contract with Sirius XM. He is taking the whole summer off and many fans say they will cancel their subscription because they don’t want to pay for a summer of reruns.

*****

Acorn will bring Jane Seymour back to a series. Seymour will be co -executive produce on Harry Wild. Her character will be a retired University professor who loves her whiskey and solves crimes.

*****

Annie Murphy stasr in ‘Kevin can f*** himself about a sitcom wife which airs on AMC.

*****

I still do not understand why Rep. Mike Nearman hasn’t been arrested for letting insurrectionists into the Capitol.

*****

There is a wing shortage??

*****

The Pulitzer prizes have been announced. The list includes Ben Faub, Barry Blitt, Katori Hall, Emilio Morenatti, AP photographers Marcio Jose Sanchez, Alex Brandon, David Goldman, Julio Cortez, John Minchillo, Frank Franklin II, Ringo H.W. Chiu, Evan Vucci, Mike Stewart and Noah Berger. There was a special citation for Darnella Frazier who filmed the death of George Floyd.

*****

Conan’s last TBS guests were Martin Short, Jack Black, Bill Hader, Mila Kunis, Dana Carvey, Patton Oswalt and JB Smoove. There were some surprises. The big musical number never happened when Jack Black hurt himself. It was all funny and sweet but Conan never mentioned the band in the last show WTF????????????????????????????????????????? Music is so important to him and he does not thank the band? ** Colbert and Brian Stack gave Conan a cute send after4, 368 shows on CBS calling him a ‘Slenderman Ron Weasly’. Kimmel wished Conn well also.** Hope his HBO MAX variety show goes well.** BTW, the Duvall interview with Colbert was great to see but why does nobody ever mention ‘Get Low?’ What a performance!!

*****

Tattoos are on the rise.

*****

Fast food drive thru’s sometime close with fake excuses like the equipment is down or something because they don’t feel like working. Good people can’t find work and so many waste the opportunities they have. AAAAGHH!!

*****

Valerie Bertinelli and Demi Lovato will star in ‘Hungry’ on NBC.

*****

Hulu will bring us David E. Kelley’s Nine Perfect Strangers with Nicole Kidman, Michael Shannon, Regina Hall, Bobby Cannavale and Melissa McCarthy.

*****

R.I.P. Gavin Macleod, Frank Bonner, Joy Vogelsang, Benigno Aquino, Champ Biden, victims of the Miami building collapse, Robert Sacchi, Stuart Damon, Johnny Solinger and Clarence Williams III.

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selfcareparker · 3 years

Note

okay fghsgdj yes you can say girl ! my pronouns are she/her :) okay but fr pause, i read this like 3 minutes after you posted it (or at least my notif said 3mins lmao) bUT IM IN BED AND I USUALLY HAVE MY COMPUTER OPEN WITH YOUR RESPONSE SO I MAKE SURE I ADDRESS EVERYTHING AND THEN SEND IN THE ASK ON MY PHONE HDGSJSH anyway, time to get my ass up 😔 but wait i find you so funny like honestly, reading that cracked me all the way up. and i feel the “lol” thing so hard!!!! idk why i do it all the time (i’m tryna stop) but i’ll say something with lol at the beginning and lol at the end... it might be a defense mechanism at this point lol (😔) AND (i need to stop with the uppercase too it’s not funny anymore) I DONT KNOW WHY I LAUGHED SO HARD JDHSK WHEN YOU SAID ALSO AGAIN HAHAHAH LIKE UR HAHHAH also my sleep schedule is not pretty either lmao but i’m homeschooled so i never have to get up for anything? hhdhsis idk but i’m glad you slept!! you need sleep!!

also (pls no i cannot) why did i not know what ykwim meant until i reread this?? like it makes so much sense- anyway! i think it’s so cool that you’re excited for university! idk why but i do lol like you’re getting ready for the future (masters degree and all that) & you’re (maybe) going to england anyway so that’s cool haha (hopefully when you go you can see your relatives 🤞🏾)

the fact that you get happy seeing my asks i- 💓💓

you make me wanna go to London & England so bad urghhhh like i’ve only been out of the country once (to Canada for a family reunion) but it sounds so prettyyyyy & i’m so sorry that cov*d is messing everything up and i hope you can see your relatives soon :(

now to address the whole english speaking/writing: I FIND THAT SO WEIRD DUHSKSJ i don’t know how an english speaking person could say that if you don’t write it 100% grammatically correct.... that it’s wrong? when literally, over here at least, WE’RE SO GRAMMATICALLY INCORRECT HAHHAAH in both the way we talk and write!! and lol you’re welcome,, AND THE PARAGRAPH DID MAKE SENSE HDHSJSH & your rant is fine because... that is actually a bit ??? bc no one writes with 100% grammar lol

OH MY GOSH (see this uppercase thing is addictive) YOU STUDIED LATIN FOR 6 YEARS??? that’s really cool 🥺 the way that you know/speak 3+ languages i- NOT EVEN 3+ LIKE 6+ (german, english, latin, french, serbian, italian, and everything that comes with latin lmao) even if it’s just a tiny bit like wowee. it is really fascinating!!! i had the opportunity to take latin and i... didnt. i took art instead BUT ONLY CUZ MY FRIENDS WERE IN THAT CLASS AND ART LOOKED FUN IM SORRY

PLEASE WHY DO YOU KNOW EVERYONE?? that sounds so fricking cool tell your mom (mum or mama it’s really fine lol) that she sounds awesome. i think Jamaica would be fun either way!! i mean it looks pretty from pictures? i was a baby so i honestly have no recollection hahaha

LMAOO NOT U SAYING THIS IS LONGER THAN SOME OF MY FICS- PLEASE GIRL IM TELLING YOU I VERBALLY LAUGHED HAHAHAHAHAH but yea you really don’t need to apologize i like reading everything you say 🥺 HDKSHS AND UR FINE WE WERE JUST TALKING ABOUT ME BEFORE uhhh hmm uhh lemme think i, well, i saw chaos walking yesterday (big tom holland fan over here) and it was alright.. my mom acted a fool at all the jump scares LMAO but it was funny... since i’m talking about movies (this is hella random i know) but i like shark movies HDKJSSJ my favorite is the meg (it’s so good ohmigosh) and the 47 meters down movies aren’t bad either... i have two younger brothers... iiiii AM IN LOVE WITH MUSIC PHEW anddd i’m homeschooled (i think i mentioned that lol) i think that’s a good amount ahahaha AND IM HUNGRY RN JDHSJ

now. please. let me address the edit. i just want you to know that.. when i talk about your fics and i finish them and everything i’m not looking for more? like obviously if you’re writing i’m gonna read it but you don’t need to feel pressured or anything (idk if you do) to put more fics out lol like they’re great and i’m just sending the praise bc i love the ones that are there :’) but i’m so happy you’re working through your writers block!!! yay so so happy for you!!! and PUHLEASE anything you write is fantastic, i feel the exact same way when i write but girl. you’re fine. it’s gonna be great. (idk if this made any sense but... okay)

(and my cousin calls her mom mama so it’s really okay hahah i even call my mom mama sometimes) (and where you got the number “16 sentences” beats me but i still cracked up) (is this me pretending i had tags? maybe) HAHAHAHA OK BYE ❤️❤️ why did this take me so long to send i have no clue, AND WHY AM I OVERTHINKING EVERYTHING I SAID SHAJSHSJ ANYWAY BYE btw i love us too... like iconic // lovely anon 💓

me reading this:

also the dedication you put into sending me stuff— like with the laptop and phone and ahsksk 🥺🥺🥺

i’ll update you when i’ve started uni btw, i’m getting more and more excited every single day haha but i still have 3 weeks until it starts and even then I’ll obviously have to get used to it and everything, but you’re making me even more excited about it sksjshsg

yeah i wanna go to england too dkshsh let’s be sad together over the fact the we can’t travel eksjsh😔😭 but hopefully the wait will make it even better in the end <33 also i talk to loads of relatives over the phone at least once a week so it’s not too bad for me! but i miss their house 😭lmao

and i knowww snshsh so many native english speakers just make so many mistakes— and obviously i get that some things are slang but some things are simply wrong ajsh, the thing is no one has ever told me that my english is bad (i know it’s not bad anyway, but i’m still insecure) or no one has ever pointed out any mistakes, but yeah it’s mostly just insecurity dkshsg but yes thanks for saying what you said (previously as well as in this ask)😌🥰

Okay now for latin— girlll i don’t blame u for choosing art over latin esp. when all of your friends are doing art as well!! I’d choose art over latin as well lol skshsg but in year 6 we had to choose between latin and french, and at the time i didn’t like french? which was dumb of me and now i wanna learn french ekdhs but i don’t regret choosing latin at all bc if i properly learn french one day then i’ll already know understand loads of stuff (or at least some stuff lol) just thanks to latin 😌😌 but still, art>>>latin skskshshgs

I wanna watch chaos walking too!!! But i don’t get when/where/how it’s out lmao, cinemas are still closed here so i’ll either have to wait or find it somewhere online... il*egally 🥰 i don’t have high expectations at all btw but i like daisy and tom and the dog🥺 so i think i’ll enjoy it

GIRL SHARK FILMS SHARK FOLMS SKSJSHSHS okay so there are a few classics i haven’t watched yet, and also a few new ones that i haven’t seen yet BUT I LOVE SHARK FILMS SO MUCH SKSHSGSGSKK the first like proper shark film i ever watched was the shallows (which i like but my brain is still too small to comprehend what happened at the end (i mean i get it but i just can’t imagine it— idek if you’ve seen the film but skshhs)) and after watching it three times it does get a bit boring (but now whenever i see pictures or videos of big waves i’m just waiting for a shark to show up like come ON SKSJSG

^^^that pic/scene really traumatised me sksjsh but i still like the film

I only watched jaws like a few months ago, and i get that it’s a classic and also that it’s old and they just didn’t have the best.. equipment or special effects or whatever but i mean... look at meg and then look at jaws.... no disrespect to jaws at ALL but the meg is so much cooler. (That one scene on the boat where the shark just JUMPS OUT OF THE WATER AND SKSJSHHSUSJHA i get such a shock every time it’s so good (and the dog aww aksjshssli 🥺🥺🥰 and the boy with the ice cream lmao he’s iconic)

47 metres down, wow, i liked that film too. (i’ve only watched the original/first one i think) i mean that is such a fucking nightmare scenario like ALSJDHSNEMSKDJSHSJSKWBALSODUEWBSLDKHDJSNSKSKSHSGEBWKAISGSHEKEKSKLDJDJDHDHSHAGGA (that’s the best way i can express my feelings about that scenario lmao)

oh and i’ve recently been watching more horror films but i don’t know if they’re for me... I like the thrill and whatever but i just end up being scared for my life when i have to go to the bathroom at night or when i’m trying to sleep bc suddenly my mind is flooded with all the scary shit from the films 💀💀💀

and music i mean... you know those people who just don’t listen to music? WHAT IS WRONG WITH THEM???? i honestly like all genres especially in the last year, i am IN LOVE with Nicki Minaj + Megan andddd Stormzy and i like Harry Styles but i prefer his first solo album (and obviously one direction has bangers i have a throwback 1D session at least once a month), I also love MGK especially his new stuff and otherwise i mostly listen to german artists lmao. So who do you like?💖 (WHY DO I FEEL LIKE YOURE GONNA SAY SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT SKAHAGUS IF YOU LISTEN TO COMPLETELY DIFFERENT MUSIC DONT JUDGE ME AJSHDJS) (i know you’re not gonna judge me but)

++ @ the thing you said about writing, don’t worry, i don’t feel pressured at all!!! (not by you and not by anybody else.. except myself sometimes lol) and i’m just very happy that you liked my fics 🥰🥰🥰 and if i start telling people that i’m writing a fic then sometimes it puts a bit of (healthy) pressure on me. like yes sometimes it really is writer’s block, but sometimes i really am just lazy ddkshhd so now that i’ve told you i’m writing a fic i might get my ass up quicker than i would if i hadn’t told anyone 😌😌😌

#ok i wrote some if this on the tube/on the bus/at the dentist/in bed so if this seems like it’s all over the place #that’s bc i was literally all over the place skshg #*of #also i love how you used tags skajahsg #lovely anon #<3 #sorry if some of the sentences didn‘t make sense or were too fucking long i wrote half of this half asleep #and i know i dont have to apologise but still like no one should have to read all my page long sentences that arent even proper sentencesskk

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trenchcas · 4 years

Text

episode origins p1

i was watching moriah earlier today and was wondering what the significance of the name moriah was, so i searched it up. i’ll explain it here in this. i wanted to learn which episodes have titles derived from pop culture, literature, etc. so i put together this list. it’s not complete, feel free to reblog with more!

why did i waste hours on my life on this, you ask? i don’t know.

season 1

pilot: obviously, all the first episodes of shows are called pilots. nothing new here.

wendigo: they’re fighting a wendigo

dead in the water: the phrase means “unable to function, move”.

phantom traveler: the name of the demon they’re fighting

bloody mary: based off the legend

skin: shapeshifters, also there might be a meta about how it’s a metaphor for dean

hook man: they’re fighting a hook man

bugs: bugs

home: they go home

asylum: they go to an asylum

scarecrow: scarecrow

faith: the concept of god first comes into play here, i thought that was pretty interesting. that’s why it’s called faith, duh. dean + faith is explored.

route 666: racist truck yes

nightmare: sam’s visions

the benders: i think it’s based off of the bloody benders, a family of serial killers

shadow: meg’s stalkery?

hell house: it was literally a hell house

something wicked: originally chanted by WITCHES in shakespeare’s macbeth. the full line is “something wicked this way comes, open locks, whoever knocks”. obviously the shtriga is a witch and it refers to that.

provenance: painting provenances, it’s in the episode

dead man’s blood: they use dead man’s blood

salvation: being saved or protected, like the boys and john do with the family

devil’s trap: the devil gets them in a trap. and they built a giant devil’s trap too.

season two

in my time of dying: based off of the led zeppelin song [x]

everybody loves a clown: based off of the gary lewis song [x]

bloodlust: i think it’s for the vampires but they were also a band in the 90′s

children shouldn’t play with dead things: based off of the 1972 movie

simon said: the whole “you do what i say” thing with andy and evil andy

no exit: it’s a song by blondie and in the episode h.h. holmes captures blondes...? am i just clowning

the usual suspects: based off of the 1995 movie

crossroad blues: based off of the robert johnson song (fave!) [x]

croatoan: i like this one. okay, so you guys probably know about the whole roanoke/croatoan thing in the 1600′s. so there’s a theory that the settlers were wiped out by a disease (similar to this town). also, the town would disappear off of the map.

hunted: gordon hunted sam

playthings: dolls, but the little girl was the grandma’s sisters plaything

nightshifter: a shifter in the night

houses of the holy: based off of the led zeppelin song and album [x]

born under a bad sign: based off of this song [x] there are a bunch of others including jimi hendrix but...?

tall tales: yeah i think this one is self explanatory

roadkill: someone got killed on the road

heart: werewolf heart but also how sam gave his heart to madison aww also there’s a band called heart

hollywood babylon: based off of the book by the same name

folsom prison blues: based off of the johnny cash song!! [x]

what is and what should never be: based off of the led zeppelin song [x]

all hell breaks loose: yes it did

season three

the magnificent seven: based off of the pretty famous western go watch

the kids are alright: based off of the who song [x]

bad day at black rock: based off of the 1955 movie

sin city: there’s a bunch of songs but the city was sinning so

bedtime stories: they were bedtime stories

red sky at morning: the full phrase is “red sky at morning, sailors take warning”. with the theme of this ep it fits pretty well.

fresh blood: fresh blood yes

a very supernatural christmas: i’m not sure. i think it’s based off of a christmas album?

malleus maleficarum: a 1400′s book of witches. latin for “hammer of the witches”.

dream a little dream of me: i love this song! based off this: [x]

mystery spot: mystery spot

jus in bello: i can’t really explain it but here [x]

ghostfacers: g h o s t f a c e r s

long-distance call: long distance call

time is on my side: based off of the rolling stones song [x]

no rest for the wicked: a biblical quote that means “evildoers will face eternal punishment”. also, “one’s work never ceases”.

season four

lazarus rising: in the bible, lazarus is the righteous man, which makes dean the righteous man. and he rises. so.

are you there, god? it’s me, dean winchester: based off of the judy blume book (maybe?), are you there, god? it’s me, margaret.

in the beginning: they go back in time

metamorphosis: with the rugaru but also sammeh

monster movie: monsters and movies

yellow fever: referring to the disease i think, but also there are a few songs

it’s the great pumpkin, sam winchester: based off of it’s the great pumpkin, charlie brown.

wishful thinking: yeah

i know what you did last summer: dean + hell, sam + ruby. is it based off of the shawn mendes song? i don’t think it is because this came out way before the song.

heaven and hell: opposite sides meet, dean’s hell experiences.

family remains: there are remains

criss angel is a douche bag: idk?

after school special: based off of the abc program? i think?

sex and violence: there was a lot of sex. and violence.

death takes a holiday: death took a holiday

on the head of a pin: i’m not sure but this article is interesting, maybe related. probably related. [x]

it’s a terrible life: based off of it’s a wonderful life? i love that movie btw

the monster at the end of this book: ughhh! yes!!! first of all there’s a sesame street book by the same title. also, chuck actually was the monster at the end of the book! that’s crazy. insane.

jump the shark: “(of a television series or movie) reach a point at which far-fetched events are included merely for the sake of novelty, indicative of a decline in quality.“ probably the whole long lost brother thing.

the rapture: a belief that christians will rise to “meet the lord in the air”. kinda like jimmy does.

when the levee breaks: based off of the led zeppelin song [x]

lucifer rising: lucifer rose

season five

sympathy for the devil: based off of the rolling stones song [x]

good god, y’all!: cas goes to find god

free to be you and me: a marlo thomas album and the brothers split up

the end: yeah it’s the end

fallen idols: i think we get it

i believe the children are our future: a lyric from a whitney houston song

the curious case of dean winchester: based off of the short story, the curious case of benjamin button.

changing channels: channels were changed. the end.

the real ghostbusters: based on the 1985 animation

abandon all hope: the full phrase is “abandon all hope, ye who enter here” and that pretty much sums up this episode.

sam, interrupted: i’m not sure?

swap meat: meats were SWAPPED.

the song remains the same: based off of the led zeppelin song [x]

my bloody valentine: based on jensen’s movie. but also the band?

dead men don’t wear plaid: based on the 1982 movie

dark side of the moon: a pink floyd album

99 problems: that one jayz song whatever

point of no return: a 1993 movie but also the poto song hehe

hammer of the gods: based off of the 1985 book i think? it’s about led zeppelin so probably yeah.

the devil you know: means that it’s better to deal with a situation you understand than one you don’t.

two minutes to midnight: this phrase is commonly used as a countdown to a global catastrophe (i.e. the fucking apocalypse)

swan song: someone’s final performance before retirement (i think this is about both brothers because it’s sam last battle and dean’s last fight before living with lisa)

season six

exile on main st.: based off of the rolling stones album [x]

two and a half men: it was a sitcom? but idk if that’s where it’s from

the third man: based off of the 1949 noir thriller? maybe? but there were also three men so idrk

weekend at bobby’s: it was a weekend at bobbys

live free or twi-hard: based off of twilight and that bruce willis movie that i watched once way back when

you can’t handle the truth: truth goddess. soulless sam gets exposed ig

family matters: based off of the 1989 sitcom? maybe

all dogs go to heaven: based off of the 1989 movie? probably

clap your hands if you believe: i think this is an original title idk

caged heat: based off of the 1974 movie i think

appointment in samarra: probably based off of the 1934 novel of the same name

like a virgin: based off of the madonna song [x]

unforgiven: sam does unforgiven things

mannequin 3: the reckoning: not sure

the french mistake: just... just read this link [x]

and then there were none: based off of the agatha christie novel of the same name

my heart will go on: y’all all know what’s up [x]

frontierland: they went to yeehaw town

mommy dearest: based on the 1981 film? maybe?

the man who would be king: based off of the 1888 novel by rudyard kipling

let it bleed: based off of the rolling stones album/song [x]

the man who knew too much: shares a name with the 1956 film

season seven

meet the new boss: they met the new boss idk

hello, cruel world: sad sam

the girl next door: there’s a 2004 romcom with the same name

defending your life: a 1991 romcom! wow!

shut up, dr. phil: sam and dean became philanthropists idk

slash fiction: hahahahaha i think we know what it means but wHY is it called that?

the mentalists: they met a bunch of magic people wow!

season 7, time for a wedding!: more like season 7, time for a slightly r*pey episode and GARTH!

how to win friends and influence monsters: based off of the 1936 book how to win friends and influence people

death’s door: they were at death’s door idk

adventures in babysitting: based off of the 1987 movie by the same name

time after time after time: based off of the cyndi lauper song? [x]

the slice girls: prolly based off of the spice girls idk

plucky pennywhistle’s magic menagerie: yeah idk

repo man: it’s a 1984 film too

out with the old: they were fucking around with antiques

the born-again identity: obviously based off of the bourne identity which i haven’t seen in forever

party on, garth: hahaha

of grave importance: it was very important

the girl with the dungeons and dragons tattoo: probably based off of the movie/book the girl with the dragon tattoo.

reading is fundamental: reading is fundamental. go read a book.

there will be blood: there was blood

survival of the fittest: everybody fought idk

okay i’m gonna stop here for this one because i’m tired asf and i’ll do part 2 later

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yoonminist · 4 years

Note

ROBIN! You don't like Fake Love?! Nan Molla?! 😱 Jk, but I'm glad we can admit to not liking some of their songs or even albums here. Some fans will get really nasty if you admit to not liking something done by BTS. I don't really like Idol or her majesty, Spring Day. The music isn't my taste.

PLEASE i like it as an overall performance with the choreo and all but i don’t listen to it by itself tbh it’s just Not my thing,,,,, and dude SPRING DAY???? i love her a lot and every time i remember some people Don’t Like It it always takes me by surprise hhjjGFHJSBJH but nah that’s fair :’’)

To the anon that does't vibe with mots 7 i feel the same. I won't say i dislike the album because it's bts and there are some songs that i genuinely like but the whole vibes just have me :// and i feel like if i wasn't a fan i wouldn't like it at all, but that's just how things are we can't always like everything

actually i will say though i like mots7 overall especially the stories and feelings they’ve put into the songs and solos it just........... doesn’t hit as hard Musically as some of their other stuff hhhhhh LIKE okay i’m not into louder than bombs At All and i felt like on could have had something More to it and that the art film ver of black swan is way better than the album version but . wab and the units and solos???? God tier

am i late to the unpopular opinions party??? i feel like im the only one who doesn't like house of cards :/ especially inside the latin army community where it is considered the sexiest bop...

HOUSE OF CARDS SWEETIE......... i don’t know how unpopular this one is but i never really liked singularity lmao i Love tae and the mv and the looks and him killing the lives but the actual song itself does nothing for me :’’( though i wish it did

wait but this is hilarious bc i'm the opposite to the last few anons i haven't liked their recent music nearly as much n actively miss their old stuff lmao. i don't hate it w the exception of some songs it's just not rlly my style, but i loved mots:7 (which is a very emotional feeling btw lol loving a whole album for the first time in like 5 yrs I Cried). it's only natural tho bc w a fandom as huge as army & a discography as diverse as bts's ppl are going to have different preferences - leo

I FEEL THIS i do love a lot of their new stuff but at the same time the ones i Adore most are their signature bts style songs like (imo) anpanman/gogo/baepsae/2nd grade/spine breaker/rise of bangtan and ngl i wish they’d never stop putting those types of songs out

#anon #ask

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carpenoctemarts · 5 years

Text

Witchy wanderer altar (Step by step) #CreativeUpcycling

Yeah that’s for the little pagan sparkle of soul within you <3

I’ve filmed (uploading rightnow) a complete tour of my handmade from Z. Wanderer Altar. Meanwhile i do adapt this step by step which i initially shared with a forum, and i thought it could very well please a larger group because of the upcycling notion.

This complete tour (yes even inside the drawers, you kids ! ) consists in sharing what i did, how i did, for what need, so that if you’re a creative soul too, with a connexion to nature and/or the universe, or “putHereYourOwnBelief” guys, embark the journey of creative upcycling ! Anyways, you can adapt to your path, tools, ressources, and taste, i’m just here to resend sparkles of inspiration & hope for the best :D

So i called it an “altar” but let me clarify why. I’m not a religious person at all, really, i’m definitelly into quantum physics and experiments or theories when i wonder about something, and the universe sends me (litterally) weird experiences opening even mooooore arborescent questions haha ! Do you know that feeling ? like “ Yeah, funny joke, well played Universe... well played ! “

So my perception is really a big equation of connected dots, made out of experiences, brillant ppl’s very “truth” sounding theories (follow your guts, it’s your path), about so many various subjects. I was born with too many questions and that so F. Frustrating feeling to have lost a tremendous knowledge that couldn’t retrieve in a whole life. so i constantly watch docs, read, take notes, connect the dots. #Truthseekingbookworm...

So as i say, i don’t properly need some god/goddesses/deities/archetypes/spirits/anthropomorphisations of actually vibes, frequencies that i can rely on, connect to, at any time, from within me. I created statues i Think it’s both for aesthetism and i’m very attached to the celtic culture, i spent parts of my life as a kid in french britany among the standing stones and feel rooted there for ever. Among natural reasons i feel drawn to : I actually live in a city built on an ancient Meldes tribe site the romanised gauls named “thorianicus”, it’s close to paris by a river that was worshiped by gauls (french celts) and re-named in latin by the romans “dea matrona” meaning “mother goddess”. Modern french name became “La Marne” sadly we lost the real name. But a part of her is probably inspiring me for the nayade hidden in the tree branches ;)

This small universe in a nutshell box came out to be actually my everyday, but on the go #TheEndIsNear ... temple ? tabernacle. I Bet that if i die it will become one, and that shit will be haunted XD

I’ve always spoken “to the universe” since i was a kid, from anywhere, from inside, bc. it is inside of each of us. So basically, no need to have that box but now i feel attached to it ! It's not perfect but made out of scraps so i absolutely wouldn't change for a readymade fancy stuff, i put all my soul into that like any artistic work. So i share too, may some elements inspire you too !

Yes it took me a while but totally worth it. Thanks to:

1.what I had around. Matters may inspire you a lot. when i see scraps i see a potential, try to search around with that perspective.

2. What Carlos’s shoes polish box inspired me, in this video from Olivia’s channel @thewitchofwonderlust ---> https://youtu.be/E_y6SERJQSs )

3. What you wonderers & wanderers altars inspired to me+ maybe whatever creative guide i channeled, who knows ? :p

4. my own needs, like basic essential oils to cure basic “bobology”, my little tresaures like family link and talismans, crystals, tarots, pendulum, a space for cleaning salt box, cauldron to burn things, herbs, resines... make my own inks for drawings, a space to stock symbols of elements like water and earth, to keep me connected, rooted the old way. + some hooks for samples of herbs so i can let them dry while on a trip ... well you’ll have to adapt yours depending on your needs ! :)

well for my experience, it gave this (not that heavy) cabinet and I absolutely adore it.

5. "Chance"....or, is it ?

Il n'y a pas de hasard, Balthazar !

Its dimensions : while open each box is 30 cm high x 10.5 deep x 19 cm large. Closed it's a 30 x 21 x 20 box.

(video link will be edited here, come back later folks, follow the trail !)

Here I gathered a few pics that I took during the process, for those temeraire people who feel they can take the same path 😅 And welcome to my Atelier!

Basic stuff i used for the basic boxes assemblage (like reused fruit boxes + a rough wood jewellery box fitting in the big boxes -> i reused the metal parts onto the big box, the mirror as a shelf and cases as a crystals drawer. the top part became the front board of two small cardboard drawers inside, you'll see later)

Measures -> cutting a spare thin (and light) wood board to fit around the fruit cagettes

Gluegun is my bestie ! Reinforcing the hinges with a fabric strong ribbon, filling all the holes with glue like a gross job really, but it will be strong :

Sanding angles to have a smoother aspect on the shelves

Being careful to remove some sticking out traps :s

putting nails to reinforce the outer structure + sanding all edges :

Before painting it in a very dark "ardoise" grey, only one layer so it looks odd&old. I may sand it a while in the end to make it look older, i'll see. I don't want it too steampunk. Maybe just a little authentic shabby boho type o'shit. I kind of oscilate btw my gypsy and my goth generation side XD Goth saves the Cube ! *bats dramatically flying all over*

(i changed the locker since)

You saw that type of rough nails ? i like it.

here i added (left side) 2 dollar store cardboard boxes that fited nicely including the size of the thin layer in btw, to guide the 2 drawers (lucky me) but use whatever you have and adapt, it's the key. If you don't find anything, build it (see my all wooden box on the right) just gluegun and scraps, sanded the excedent and it fits fine.

detail of the in btwn scraps of wood to guide the drawers, gluegun job :

Here i used wood scrap + glued upcycled leather with rivet buttons (old jacket sewed borders and rivets + table”cloth” made of transparent vynile) to close the papers/carnet pocket but keep a possiibility to stuck a visualisation card of mine to help meditation focus possibly. Wood scraps are here to create a depht to the pocket, up and down the square :

Meanwhile, sculpting/modeling my treetrones/shelves/deco/pagan wibbly wobbly

Meanwhile, also doing a cauldron out of remaining clay, (recycling a metalic succulent pot by the way) including binded protective and empowering runes blablahblah

Then i added a typical Horned or green god/cernnunos/male solar yang god principle loved inside the feminine tree & a Triple feminine lunar yin archetype within the male tree

Acrylic painting, dry paint, no water (clay will absorb it). Used an army green and black as an underlayer, then i added old gold touches as a patine and contrasted theblack areas and that's it.

Added a led copper garland to bring the light anywhere with the box and i’m done :)

Here we are, hope you guys liked the tour :)

My next adventure will probably be an apothecary cabinet since i need a space for my essential oils and wax and herbs ...

youtube

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bucky-is-a-hero-fightme · 6 years

Text

The Naked Interview

Pairing: Sebastian Stan/Latina!Reader(f)

Summary: Sebastian and Y/N are introduced to a new format of interviewing as they go on the press tour of their incoming movie. The interview will bring out old feelings and ask the questions they didn’t dare ask themselves.

(My summaries suck.)

Word Count: 4100 approx.

Warnings: none, I think. Though if you don’t wanna be spoiled about Manuela Sáenz life, you should read Pamela S. Murray’s Biography of her (personal recommendation, there’s thousands out there hehe)

Guide: Italics is for flashbacks or Spanish/Romanian. If you know my work from AO3, you know I’m a sucker for flashbacks and languages, so...heyy :)

A/N: This is my first RPF work, and I feel weird about it. Idk. I like it, I really do, and the idea has been going around in my head for weeks now. I just feel weird writing about real people. Welp, here I go hehe.

Also: Tere’s social media posts made for this fic, to set the background and a little bit of fluffy history btw the characters. CHECK IT OUT HERE

Big thanks to @marvelousfakesocialmedia for doing the posts for this fic!! Check out their work, is great!

You are shown into the private room by a girl from the staff, opening the door to reveal a pretty simple set-up, looking more like a living room than an interview set. You shake away the imbalance that gives you, walking inside with a big smile. The 'stage' smile.

“Well, well,” You muse as you walk towards Sebastian and the interviewer, “When my agent called and told me I had to do a Naked Interview with Sebastian Stan this was definitely not what I had in mind.”

The blonde that was seconds ago looking through her papers and notes before starting to interview you rose her gaze to you with a sly smile. Reporter through and through.

You knew the cameras would be on, your publicist had warned you about it. This paper was going for 'authenticity' and apparently this interview was all about that, including every dirty trick in the book.

“Disappointed?” She asked, to which you answered by simply waving your hand and pointing at Sebastian's whole body.

“Yes.” You dramatically intoned, prompting them both to laugh.

They start the interview with the usual greetings, no mentions of your past relationship, for which you thank whoever is ready to listen.

The questions are simple enough, what you are used to by now, having been promoting this movie for two weeks by now. She goes back and forth between you and Sebastian, asking very superficial questions.

The interviewer turns your way, asking about your experience as this is your first time being cast as the main role in a big movie, to which you smile and nod, quipping in about how weird it was to see your face looking so big in the posters. She laughs a little in response, before congratulating you and Sebastian for the movie and wishing you success. The cameras are turned off, as you smile in thanks, still feeling this was too short and you did not feel at all the 'authenticity' they were looking for.

But then the blonde gets up, and is handled a small wooden box that you are quite familiar with.

“Oh, is that a prop?” You ask excitedly, before turning to Sebastian with a big smile on your face, “Seba, is the letter box!”

You try not to notice the way your heart skips a bit when he returns your smile with one of his own, his eyes shining a bit more under the light as the creases around them get deeper.

The interviewer clears his throat, effectively calling back your attention, and giving the box to you.

“Yes. Considering how sentimental and authentic were the letters that were kept in Manuela's original box, and how it was replicated by your team so it could mean just as much in the big screen, we decided to add a little symbolism to the second part of our interview.”

“Second part?” Sebastian asks, still watching you from the corner of his eye as you trace your fingers over the ridges and markings on the letter box.

The producer steps ahead, “Yes. We told you we are aiming for authenticity here, so we have saved a bunch of fan's usernames in the box, that you will take out. A video of their question will play on the monitor, and you have to answer. You will be left alone in the room with the cameramen, no mediator this time.”

“Oh,” You mumble, habit winning over logic as you meet your eyes with that of your ex-boyfriend. You can sense his apprehension, and you feel quite insecure about this yourself. But you still smile, turning to the producer, “Does the 'naked' mean I have to take something off if I don't want to answer? 'Cause I'm down for that. Don't know about my agent though.”

You were arranged in front of one another on the couches, two wooden boxes between you, one for your questions and another for his, and the set almost empty. It felt strange, it felt like an intervention or a forced therapy session. It felt strange, all in all.

“Should I start?” Sebastian asked, crinkling his nose a little, visibly uncomfortable.

You smiled, and nodded, “Please.”

Why does this feel so formal? It feels like I'm talking to my cousin's childhood-friend's doctor, and not the man I dated for almost two years.

You watched as he rummaged through the little papers inside his box, taking one and reading aloud the name.

A young boy, around his late teens, smiled at the camera as a Mexican flag decorated his background. You immediately smiled widely, even though he would not see until the interview was released.

He cleared his throat and asked, “Y/N, how did it feel portraying a character of Latin American independence when you are Hispanic but left Latin America?”

You blinked, trying to keep up the smile,

“Woah, the surely don't start soft, do they?”

Sebastian smiled at you softly, and you would've sworn you saw his arm stretched towards you from the corner of your eye, before he pulled it back, “You don't have to answer.”

“Seba, you don't have any say in it,” You laughed, and took a deep breath before starting to explain how incredibly humbling it was to take on her mantle and play such a strong woman and someone who was such a symbol to the independence of not only your country and so many others, but also women in general. You went on a little about how you felt a lot closer to home while filming, considering the Latino cast and the closeness you felt to your character as a Latina away from home yourself.

It felt odd, doing an interview like this. As you were seated one in front of the other, and aside from the fans popping in and out of the monitor screen, you were all alone. It felt as if you were confessing all these personal feelings about your past and your character to him and not an audience.

Oh...good tactic, Naked Interview people.

Drinking a bit of water to dissolve the knot in your throat, you rose your eyebrows in Seb's direction.

“Your turn,” You teased, hand already inside your box, “And it better make you cry or I'm out.”

He laughed and leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees as he crossed his fingers together. When you stopped what you were doing to ogle at him, you don't remember.

“Just read the name, Y/N.”

“Okay, okay. Don't rush perfection,” You mumbled, taking out the piece of paper, “Sebastian, here is your user.”

A dark-haired woman around her mid-thirties smiled at the camera and asked, “Sebastian, do you feel James Thorne was a redeemable man?”

You saw him frown slightly as the air left his lungs in a huff, and he rubbed his hands together before answering.

You had been pretending for months now that everything was alright, that there was no awkwardness,no lingering feelings. It was more tiring than you thought it would be.

But there's this little whisper of what used to be, stuck in your head every time you film a scene together, everytime you wrap up filming for the day or the week and a sudden part of you forgets that your routine no longer includes him.

This little voice whispers, everytime you discuss a portion of the script with one of your castmates or anyone on the staff or production; about the long nights spent going over the initial script, stretched out on the couch of your apartment, your legs set over your lap as his hand runs absently over your calf; or his back to your chest, chestnut locks running like water between your fingers as you tell him about what you remember of Independence celebrations in your country.

That little voice reminds you of the hours spent talking about James' and Manuela's relationship as you readied yourselves to sign the contract for the biopic, of the day you decided to read what was left of all her letters to him and to Simon and from them to her, and cried about how someone with such a good heart could lose everything because of people sitting in thrones on the other side of the ocean; and then Seba's teasing

about how you said in your half-asleep state that Manuela was your Batman, not the hero you deserved but the one you needed.

You ignore that voice, that faded image of something that slipped from your fingers. You ignore it, you focus on work. You pretend not to feel anything else.

Because that voice also reminds you of how you decided not to fight for him anymore. About how you were the one to ask for some time away from each other, about how you were the one to say goodbye finally and definitely once the world decided to start telling you what your relationship was all about.

“He...he fell in love with her, I think. It was an arranged marriage, and he was so much older than her, but there had to be some semblance of love in him to turn a blind eye to the fact that she was smuggling secrets with her lover. There's even several letters, some of them made it to the film, that reveal how he begged her to come back to him, and her insistence that what she wanted of him was a friend, that she loved Simón and the revolution more than...” He trailed off, thinking of the words in Spanish, and a proud smile curved your lips.

“Su querido inglés,” You provided, and nodded at Sebastian when he pointed at his own box, ready to ask you your next question.

A few more questions were asked about the film, touching on Manuela and James' relationship, Manuela's work as a women's rights activist, and your feelings towards your characters.

You had been assured by your agent that the interview was known to be quite long, and that maybe some questions would be edited out, so you weren't worried about the time at all. You reached for Sebastian's user to question him, and before reading it out loud, you leaned back on the couch, musing out loud,

“You know, it's weird no questions about our relationship have come up.”

You laughed a little under your breath when he choked up and coughed a couple of times, eyeing you with a smirk that told him how he knew you were messing with him.

A girl popped up on the screen, big smile on her face.

“Hey guys. Personal question,” She started, and Sebastian pointed at you with a smile that made the lines around his eyes more prominent.

“You jinxed it.” He accused, to which you replied by scrunching your nose and sticking out your tongue in defiance.

The girl continued, “How did it feel, working together as close as you did, after you broke up?”

“Well, that isn't intrusive at all.” You mumbled, taking a sip of your water.

The actor before you ran a hand through his hair and looked up at you with an uncomfortable smile on his face.

“Weird. Once we started playing the character of course none of whatever happened between us matters. But, it was strange at the beginning. Like, I don't either of us knew where to stand,”

He thought the next part of his answer for a couple of seconds before blurting out, surprising you, and, you assume, giving both of your agents a heart attack.

“We didn't actually break up,” He confessed, grimacing after hearing his own words. “I mean, we are not together, but...we never said the words, did we?,” He looked at you, expecting a response, you nodded slowly. Sebastian sighed, before continuing, “It's...complicated.”

You dropped your bag by the floor next to the hotter room door, rubbing a hand over your eyes before cursing at yourself for smearing makeup all over your eyes.

With a sigh, you walked towards the bathroom, taking the clothes you readied before going out to film, and grabbing your cell-phone on the way there.

It felt odd, unbalancing, to put an end to your day without talking to Seba, but you two had agreed to take some time off to keep the strain of your busy work lives away from your relationship. Still going from talking each night, for at least a few seconds and rushed 'I-love-you's; to not being able to talk at all, it was taking a toll on you.

You only hoped to come out stronger from all of this.

It was only less than two months when the news started appearing, everywhere. Rumors about the break-up, opinions thrown left and right about why 'Marvel's golden couple' would break it off.

And the person you talked about your relationship with at the end, was not him, but your agent. You explained her the whole thing, and though as a friend she told you to reach out to Sebastian and talk to him, to work out together what your relationship had come to; as a publicist she told you waiting for everything to cool down was the best way to go.

And a couple of months of no talking became two more, and when a small and simple message from him, asking to meet up to talk about...everything; you swallowed past the part of you that told you to fight for it, and the instinct to get away before you got hurt won.

You still remembered the last argument. The tears, the resentment and the will to keep fighting but the need to give up. You knew you weren't strong enough to go through it again.

I think we both made our choice a while ago, Seba.

The reply was instantaneous. A call you rejected and a single message after it.

Do you really mean that?

You never answered. PR handled the rest, and when you got asked about your relationship by a passer-by reporter on one of your outings with Lizzie, you smiled and said breaking up was for the best.

“Yeah...complicated.” You repeated, thrumming your fingers on your dress-covered legs, before signaling for Sebastian to ask you your question.

A heartfelt question about the reaction of your country and the film community in it to have you represent such an important Latina all the way in Hollywood, that you answered with a big smile, but pausing to drink water a couple of times to swallow past the know on your throat. Again.

The pixie-looking person that asked Sebastian the next question smiled widely as they waved at the camera, and told you they had been a fan of both you and Seb since you performed together in Civil War.

Placing a strand of short hair behind their ear, they asked, “So how different is the cast from the Marvel family? Are you all close or is it more like everyone goes their way?”

Sebastian laughed and shook his head,

“It can't be each on their own. If I'm left alone in any country we are filming in, I get lost in the first five seconds.”

You leaned forward with an expressive,

“Yes! You have no idea how many times I have thought I had to call your mom to tell her I lost her impressionable son because he wouldn't stay still and can't talk Spanish to save his life.”

“And despite the possibility of losing me in the middle of Guadalajara or somewhere else, it's still a great group of people to work with,” He continued, “It became a really close group as the months went by.”

You had been doing great. Manuela's story had drawn you in completely, and considering most days the shooting was wrapped up pretty late, time to consider your situation was not really available. Which you thanked the heavens for.

But then the first day filming Manuela's fight scene against the assassins comes, and yes, the nerves are again curling at your stomach, because jumping from a balcony, no matter how many stunts you pulled in your time with Marvel, never gets less terrifying.

But then you saw Sebastian along with who is supposed to play Simón and his stunt double, smiling in his normal clothes like he was supposed to be there.

“Hey,” You approached, easy smile on your face. “I thought James' scenes were done for?”

Sebastian loweeds his gaze to the floor for a second, strained smile on his lips, and you felt a spark of...doesn't matter what.

“Yeah, they are. But I heard you were doing the fight scene today and I thought...maybe I could come here and offer support?”

The young man in the Libertador outfit smiled at your ex-boyfriend, clapping a hand on his shoulder,

“You mean another one to worry about our girl busting her ass on the fall?” He teased, and if it weren't for how the hopeful part of you, the eternal romantic still somewhere inside you replaying Sebastian's words, you would have risen to the bait.

Because you remembered the long days at the studio, Domino's costume on and muscles aching. You remembered Seba's easy smile, your complaints about how he was only there to see you get your ass beat by Chadwick. You remembered his reassurance that he only wanted to see you were safe, and the soft press of lips against your own.

You remembered your first date being on his trailer in between shots, a bag of ice on your knee and a busted lip smiling his way when he told you he couldn't wait another day to take you out, even if it was the day you miscalculated the force of Black Panther's double's hits.

You heard him laugh, but you were still trying to quieten your heart and tell it to stop hoping.

“Well, she has always been prone to accidents.”

A couple more about how you got along on set with everyone else, one or two about the reality behind the letters and documents shown in the movie, when the cameramen told you that you could wrap up after one or two more.

Another fan with a question for you, this time a young girl with blonde air smiling shyly at the camera.

“So...hi, didn't think I was gonna win actually,” She giggled, and you smiled in understanding. Again, even though they could not see it. “So here's my question. Sorry. How different was it going from filming for Marvel for so long while you were together and then filming this? Sorry.”

Memories clouded your mind, of the days before work became too much, before life became too much and hanging onto one another was more of an obligation than a decision.

Those memories took over you, making your heart race and too many pieces of advice, from friends, colleagues, the people handling this movie and even the people handling your fucking relationship repeat themselves in your head. About smiling politely when asked a rude question about the breakup, about keeping calm when receiving horrible backlash from your own fans because your life can't be only your own, about telling everyone, even yourself, that it was the best for the both of you.

But you were tired of that. You were tired of the 'stage smile', of having lost one of the best people you have met since leaving home chasing a dream, of pretending the only emotions you are in touch with are fictional characters'.

So you took a deep breath, and started.

“It was different, no use in lying. The first and only movie I filmed with Seba as while we just started to fall in love, and we decided when we were already living together to take on this movie. The fact that life fell apart around us in between was a...casualty we didn't account for.

You cleared your throat, and lowered your eyes to your hands. For an instant, you waited for Sebastian to chip in, say something agreeing with you and giving you the out of ending the answer. He didn't, so you went on.

“It was jarring at first, wrapping up, getting ready to go home or to the hotel or whatever and not having him next to me, having him to talk to about our day and what we thought about everything and nothing. I mean...there was a lot, I think, that I took for granted, or didn't account for, and only realized it was gone when...well when it was gone.”

You sniffed a little, running your hands gently under your eyes to get rid of the tears before they kept falling down your cheeks.

You breathed a laugh at yourself as you pat with your fingers against your skin, trying to even out the make up the tears erased. Rolling your eyes at yourself, you mumbled, “And now I'm crying on the internet. Great day, Y/N.

You turned your eyes to Seb, smiling a little his way.

“Most people don't have to spend every day with the person they broke up with for months so shortly after they split up, not even in our industry I think. And I guess it hurt more than I let on. But I wouldn't trade working alongside you for the world, Seba.” You assured him your smile turning surer, more even, as your heart settled back into your chest.

He smiled back your way and extends his hand. Without hesitation, you took it, squeezing once and ready to let go after that, but he seemed to hold on to it.

“I know. I also want you, and whoever is going to watch this mess, to know that you are one of the best people I've met. You are amazingly talented, and I am lucky to be working with you. I am even more lucky to one day have been someone you decided to love, and I want you to remember that.

When he choked up a little, stopping whatever he had started to say, you squeezed his hand and let your eyes find his through the mist of your own tears.

He continued, “You...whatever didn't work between us doesn't matter. We were happy once, and I think we should remember that. I loved you and I think I always will, and I want nothing more than you being happy, because you deserve it.

You paid attention to the slight movement of his jaw, and almost two years together told you he was about to cry too. You squeezed his hand again.

“And I know I can be a lot to handle most of the time, and I want you to kn...” You couldn't handle it anymore, you were seeing every insecurity he had about your relationship, his job and your life together resurface and you couldn't believe you thought for all those months hthat e was okay with all that happened between you and how things ended.

“Seba, no...”

You reached to stand up when you felt the wire of the microphone on your back, and you remembered where you were. Turning to the cameraman, you said, “Excuse me, can you cu-...”

But they weren't there. They had been the only thing left of the team for the interview, but they were long gone from the set. Frowning, you turned to Sebastian, only to see him still sitting on his side of the couch, heel of his hand pressing against his eye, the other one still holding on tightly to yours.

At your confused expression, he shrugged and explained, “I asked them to go when you started tearing up. I know you don't like people seeing you cry.

You huffed something between a laugh and a sob, and started shaking your head. This only seemed to set him on edge, instead of letting him know you were thankful for his thoughtfulness. Sebastian wrapped his other hand over the one he was already holding, tugging you a little closer.

With you standing up, he had to look up to have his eyes meet yours.

“Listen, I'm sorry I'm telling you all of this now, but the tour is almost over, and I know I should've said something before but I don't wanna lose-...mfph.”

You stopped his rant by throwing your arms around his shoulders, hiding your wet face in the crook of his neck,

“I know, Seba, I know.”

His arms wrapped around your waist and back, holding you close, and you felt as if you were taking the first unobstructed breaths oi months.

After a few minutes, you broke apart and you reached up to straighten the collar of his shirt with a smile as one of his hands still lingered on your waist.

“So...” You mused, eyes glued to the piece of clothing you pretended you want to fix, “What do you say about coffee?”

I’m sorry. I know it is kinda long and not at all that good, hehe. But thank you for reading! And please let me know what you think, even if it is to tell me you didn’t like it/why. Thank you! Love, Luce.

If you liked it please leave any sort of review, even if it is just a comment on anon or smth. I wanna know if I should write more of these, how to improve, anything. Thank you.

#sebastian stan #sebastian stan x reader #sebastian stan imagine #sebastian stan fanfiction #rpf fanfiction #mcu rpf #fanfiction

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theartfulmegalodon · 6 years

Text

Some Thoughts on Coco...

First of all, the movie was fantastic, and beautiful, and moving, and everything all the reviewers have said. Go see it, it’s amazing.

But I’m me, so I can’t help but have a few nitpicks. I wouldn’t dream of putting spoilers out in the open here, so if you’ve seen the film already and want to read my comments, they’re past the cut. (And, um, they’re long. Sorry.)

So... okay, I think most everybody who’s seen the film and given it some actual thought afterward has realized that there are some seriously troubling rules in place about the Mexican afterlife. It’s all fluffy and fairy tale-like at first glance, you know, older family telling the sweet story to the kids about how a picture on an altar keeps the memory of their departed family members alive... except of course in this case, it means keeping them LITERALLY alive, in the afterlife.

We’re shown that you NEED a picture of the person. Actually they only say “photo” throughout the entire film, making me wonder what happens if you don’t have any photos, or you were too poor to commission a painted portrait back in the day. Why wouldn’t, say, written letters count? Or family heirlooms, like jewelry or a comb? What if the family simply lost the photos in a fire or something? What if they didn’t manage to make an altar? Say someone’s the last of their line, keeping all their (photographed) ancestors alive, but right around DdlM they get hit by a car and are in traction for a week or more, unable to light a stupid candle next to some photos? The dead relatives are just SOL? Are poor people’s relatives also SOL, when the living simply doesn’t have the resources to do this ritual? And heck, if you’re an orphan with no family when you die, that means what? NO AFTERLIFE FOR YOU? Does it HAVE to be family that remembers you for it to count?

And then there’s the rule that you can only keep existing in the afterlife so long as your memory is maintained by someone who knew you in life. Hector confirmed this when Miguel tried to insist he could go back and remember these new dead folks now that he’s met them in the afterlife, so they wouldn’t fade away. But nope, “It doesn’t work like that.”

Except...

That can’t be true, because at the end of the movie, we see grandma Coco has died, and all of the extended dead family is still there, safe and sound. But Coco was the only one who’d remembered her parents, and especially Hector. So we see that Hector, and presumably anyone, can totally live on even after everyone who knew them in life is dead as well.

So... that’s a bit of a contradiction there. And then there’s the whole De La Cruz storyline about fame. Whether he chose to be famous at all costs just because he wanted the spotlight, or even on the off chance that he was trying to secure his immortality in the afterlife, it’s sort of implied that simply by being famous, he’ll never be forgotten, and as long as he has fans who put his picture on their altars (or his? not sure how that goes) he’s set.

So really, I have no idea how one stays alive in the afterlife, for sure. But Hector did say about fading away: “It happens to everyone eventually”, which... yeah, okay, makes sense. Which means, basically, that your afterlife is a whole new life, but you spend it knowing that your very existence depends on others to remember you and prove it with a ritual. If you’re not one of the very lucky ones (and the movie made it seem like there are relatively few unlucky ones, because kids movie) you’d spend your borrowed existence wracked with anxiety that any moment your luck will run out. Not to mention, your eventual second death (their “FINAL death”, as they call it) will likely be way worse than your first one. When they’re dying their final death, they do it with the knowledge that there really is nothing left for them AND that they’ve been entirely forgotten by the living world. The entirety of their existence is over, and there’s not even some comforting Grim Reaper type to send them off.

Sigh.

This isn’t really what I wanted to pick at, believe it or not. I’ve got more real issues with the actually family dynamics. Because family, as was made super clear, is basically the most important thing in life AND death, and without family, life is meaningless (or possibly OVER FOREVER). And that’s... kinda problematic for me. I know it’s culturally accurate, from what I know of Latin cultures and many others. But I really dislike the whole notion that your BLOOD relatives are always a good thing to keep in your life.

Miguel’s family was cartoonishly restrictive when it came to music, his one passion.

(And can we mention for a moment the absurdity of shielding an entire family line from ALL MUSIC? How exactly does that work? We don’t know for sure what time period this is. From the look of De La Cruz’s movies, and counting the generations hence, we could assume this is modern day. (In a really underdeveloped part of Mexico.) But trying to eliminate all music from someone’s life is only slightly possible if they’re a child, and you can control exactly what they do and where they go. But did Miguel never go to school? People sing songs and play music in schools. And did the adults in the family never go anywhere outside of their shoe shop and the cemetery? People in the world MAKE MUSIC. All over. All the time. It’s a deeply ingrained facet of human nature. Yet this family can’t even hum to themselves? It’s just... too absurd.)

ANYWAY.

Miguel’s family is ridiculous, and based on one (deceased) matriarch’s marching orders, this kid is forced to hide away his one joy in life and feel like a criminal among his own relatives for loving something that the rest of the world loves. The moment where they present him with his shoe-making apron and cheer about promoting him to official Shoe Maker, I swear in my head I just heard, “Oh! You finally had the noodle dream!” And when the grandma discovered his stash of music-related treasures and smashes them all in the street in front of him, I just saw Triton destroying Ariel’s human treasures, leaving the poor child in tears, of course.

In this case, the family was MOST DEFINITELY in the wrong. And yet Miguel is punished the second he tries to rebel. He gets cursed into the afterlife (a curse that was NEVER explained, btw) and then the family matirarch who started the whole mess basically holds his life hostage until he agrees to never pursue music again. The family blessing was paramount. They looked this little boy in the eyes and forced him to choose between a life without the thing he loves most or NO LIFE AT ALL.

Yes, yes, I know that the point was that they were in the wrong and that it all worked out in the end because past crimes came to light, and some hearts were melted, and the family came around. But the fact that Miguel and Hector had to beat the odds, escape capture, expose a murder plot, and tear down the reputation of the biggest celeb in the afterlife just so this old bitch (sorry, I really did like this movie!) would let her great grandson go back to being alive... That’s beyond unreasonable. Miguel was fantastically lucky, and running into Hector was the most unlikely coincidence in the movie.

EDIT: I’ve been reminded that Dante the spirit dog was involved in leading Miguel to meeting Hector, but that... doesn’t really solve my issue there. That’s writing in a band-aid for a plot hole. Can’t think up a reason your two long lost relatives would have a one-in-a-billion meeting? Spirits did it. And honestly for me (maybe because I’m not a little kid any more) the slapstick antics of the dog weren’t especially entertaining or amusing, nor was he written as an actual character instead of a plot device. So I’m not surprised in retrospect that I forgot most of his contributions to the story.

OKAY. Let me make the only real point I wanted to make here:

I was genuinely surprised by the reveal that Hector was Miguel’s real ancestor and that De La Cruz had murdered him. I think I was surprised because I was unconsciously expecting/hoping for De La Cruz to actually be his ancestor, but that he was simply a shallow, fame-loving, selfish dipshit, and that the Riveras were right to erase his memory from their family tree. Miguel would have learned that not all family is worth treating like family. And there would be Hector, someone who protected him, guided him, and mentored him, someone who was worthy of including on their family altar. He’d learn that sometimes family can be the people you choose to be your family.

I mean, I get it, the story that they actually set up and carried out. I liked the twist, really, and the touching backstory with Coco was, of course, very moving. There were tears.

But in the end, I guess I don’t like the convenience of the good guy he just happened to meet being part of his family after all, and the bad guy just being a bad guy, no grey area, no need to feel conflicted over anything. Also, he never bonded with anyone in the afterlife outside of his personal family, which is, again, kind of a shame. The entire crux of the movie, the matriarch’s elimination of music from the Rivera line, was based entirely on a misunderstanding, and only by luck (and spirit animals!) did it happen to resolve itself in the end. It still made a boy go through some ten years of cringing and hiding and emotional abuse over nothing he could control, all while framing it with the insistence that “your family loves you!” They love you... but you have to be unhappy, son. The end. No arguments.

Oops! Sorry, we guess that grudge we were holding over a guy we never met for a great-grammy who’s long gone was our mistake. You go play your guitar. We love you!

Oh, and if this is the modern era, they should really think about making some photocopies of that picture...

#movies #movie critique #long post #coco #pixar coco

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