#today on 'videos that fill me with an immense feeling of joy':

[theivorybilledwoodpecker]

After marrying her husband Paul Wilson in 1968, she later found out she was pregnant. "It was the joy of my life, I was ecstatic," Wilson recalled. "My husband was walking on the clouds. My husband and I would touch my stomach all the time just to feel the movement of our baby boy and the glory of a life growing inside of me. It was amazing." Unfortunately, Wilson got devastating news when she was more than halfway through her pregnancy. "At seven months, the baby stopped moving. He was soon pronounced dead, right inside of my womb, and the doctor was prohibited by law from inducing labor," she said. Wilson wrote alongside the video, "Today, I relived one of the most painful times in my life on the House floor. I shared my experience of being forced to carry my dead baby. Prohibited by law to induce labor, I carried my deceased child inside me for two months and almost died. We can't go back." In a follow-up clip she continued, "I had to learn how, first of all, to handle the immense grief that comes with losing a child and the fact that the corpse of that child was still within me. I cried every night and all day. My little body was wretched with pain, weakness, and frailty. I lost 50 pounds. I would crawl into a fetal position in my mother's lap most of the day, and in my husband's most of the night." Wilson then urged the House, "I beg you, I plead you, we can't go back. Lord have mercy, please have mercy on women like me. I almost died." Wilson revealed that at one point she nearly suffered toxic shock as "the baby began to disintegrate and the flesh from the corpse began to fill into my bloodstream." When she reached eight-and-a-half months, Wilson officially went into what she described as a "hard, painful labor. And what was left of the baby Wilson boy was born. Following a three-day stay in the maternity ward, Wilson was discharged "in a wheelchair, empty-handed, no baby, no nothing," she said. "I watched other mothers and families celebrate their newborns while I grieved and cried." She shared that she and her family held a graveside burial for the child, and "doctors were so afraid that I would also have had to have a graveside burial." "Everyone who needs reproductive healthcare is different," said the representative in her final video. "Abortion does not only apply to women who have decided for themselves they're not ready to have a child. Abortion affects women who are at risk of facing medical emergencies, life-altering emergencies and death."

#Frederica Wilson #Florida #reproductive health #reproductive rights #Abortion

[mastercoursesacademy]

Secrets of activating the Law of Attraction

Unlock the hidden power within you and manifest the life of your dreams with the secrets of activating the Law of Attraction. In this eye-opening video, you will discover the step-by-step process to harnessing this universal law and attracting abundance, success, and happiness into your life. Are you tired of feeling stuck and unfulfilled? Do you want to break free from negative patterns and start living a life filled with positivity and prosperity? Look no further! This video will provide you with practical techniques and powerful insights that will help you tap into the infinite potential of your mind. Join me as I reveal proven strategies for aligning your thoughts, beliefs, and actions with your deepest desires. Learn how to effortlessly attract opportunities, wealth, love, and vibrant health by simply mastering the art of manifestation. Whether you are new to the Law of Attraction or have been practicing for years, this video is packed with valuable information that will take your manifestation skills to new heights. Get ready to unleash your full potential and create a life beyond your wildest dreams. Don't miss out on this life-changing opportunity! Hit that play button now and embark on a transformative journey towards a reality filled with abundance, joy, and fulfillment. Activate the Law of Attraction today! Unlock the hidden powers within you and manifest your dreams with the Secrets of activating the Law of Attraction. In this life-changing video, I will reveal proven techniques and strategies that will help you harness the immense power of your thoughts and beliefs to attract abundance, success, and happiness into your life. Discover how to align your subconscious mind with your desires, create a powerful vision board that amplifies your manifestation abilities, and tap into the unlimited potential of positive affirmations. You'll also learn how to overcome any limiting beliefs or negative patterns that may be blocking your manifestation efforts. Don't miss out on this opportunity to transform your life and start living the life you've always dreamed of. Activate the Law of Attraction today and watch as miracles unfold before your very eyes. Join thousands of individuals who have already experienced incredible results using these powerful techniques. Are you ready to manifest an extraordinary life? Watch this video now! Unlock the hidden power within you and manifest your dreams with the secrets of activating the Law of Attraction. In this captivating video, I will reveal proven techniques and strategies to harness the universe's energy and attract abundance into your life. Discover how to align your thoughts, emotions, and actions to effortlessly attract success, love, and happiness. Don't miss out on this life-changing opportunity – watch now and start living the life you've always desired! Unlock the hidden power of the Law of Attraction in this captivating video! Discover the secrets to manifesting your dreams and attracting abundance into your life. Dive deep into proven techniques that will empower you to create a positive mindset, set clear intentions, and unleash the unlimited potential within you. Join me on this transformative journey as we explore practical steps to activate the Law of Attraction and manifest a life filled with success, happiness, and fulfillment. Don't miss out on this life-changing opportunity - watch now and start manifesting your dreams today! Are you tired of feeling stuck and unfulfilled in life? Do you want to unlock the hidden power within you and manifest your dreams effortlessly? Look no further! In this groundbreaking video, I will reveal the secrets to activating the Law of Attraction and attracting abundance into your life. Imagine being able to effortlessly manifest your desires, whether it's financial success, loving relationships, or vibrant health. With the Law of Attraction, you have the power to create the life you've always dreamed of. But many people struggle to understand how to harness this incredible force. #mastercoursesacademy #mastercourses #courses   #training   #education  #learning #course #onlinecourses #career #online #learn #business #students #college #study #onlinelearning #skills #elearning #udemy #university #student #motivation #free #onlinetraining #success #onlinecourse #technology #coding#supercourses

#youtube

[imariejoyce]

My first business venture...

In 2019, I secured a position with an IT company in Amsterdam, marking an overwhelming moment for me, especially during the initial months. It's worth noting that I was the sole woman on our team and, at that time, the only Filipino employed by the company. Juggling responsibilities as both a System Engineer and a nighttime au-pair, I faced numerous challenges, but I persevered.

While I was enthusiastic about the career opportunities the year presented, it also brought its fair share of tears, self-doubt, and valuable lessons that have shaped me into a stronger individual today. Reflecting on the journey, I often discussed the hardships we faced with my father, and it gave us goosebumps realizing how far we've come. I vividly recall conversations about a neighboring piece of land we desired but couldn't afford at the time, leading us to dream and plan for what could have been if we had acquired it.

It's interesting how destiny plays its part. Following that night of video calling, my mother messaged me the next morning, inquiring if I was still interested in that piece of land. Fortunately, around July 2019, I had accumulated sufficient savings since returning to work in the IT sector. Everything seemed to fall into place perfectly, and the timing was just right. I managed to purchase the land, initiating the planning and execution of one of the reasons I chose to work abroad. My parents were overjoyed upon learning about my decision to buy it, and witnessing their excitement with the plans I shared was incredibly fulfilling for me. The journey wasn't without its challenges; it required hard work, including taking on part-time jobs, like cleaning a house on weekends, allowing me only four days of rest each month. This was all to ensure the progress of constructing my apartment, making it a demanding yet rewarding project.

Initially, I confess to feeling extremely fatigued. I acknowledge that during that period, I was overly dedicated to my goals, neglecting the necessary rest for myself. Nevertheless, I persevered in working part-time to ensure I could meet the specific timeframe I had set for the project. It required over a year for me to complete the construction of that building, but I can assure you that the effort was entirely worthwhile!

I still recall my initial visit to the Philippines during my vacation. As soon as I arrived at the airport and took my first step into my own building, I couldn't help but feel emotional. Despite my efforts to restrain my tears, the moment was overwhelming.😭

On the initial evening in my new residence, I found myself gazing at its very structure, reminiscing about the challenges faced abroad. Flashbacks of the effort, tears, and homesickness filled my thoughts. It was immensely gratifying to realize that these were the outcomes of my dedication and hard work. 😭

I'm sharing this narrative not to boast about the property, but rather to inspire and convey the message that if you have a clear goal in your life, pursue it with determination!

Getting started is consistently the most challenging aspect. The path to success isn't a straightforward and effortless journey; it's filled with numerous highs and lows, moments of self-doubt, obstacles that make you contemplate giving up, and questioning why you started on the journey in the first place. However, I can assure you that persevering through these challenges is crucial because, in the end, when you reflect on the initial question of why you began, you'll likely realize it's driven by your dreams and aspirations. Ultimately, the sense of fulfillment that comes with completing the journey, combined with the joy seen in your parents' smiles, makes all the struggles worthwhile. 😊

#experience #family #quotes #the netherlands #travel #parents #hardship #business #apartment buildings #passive income #dreams #life #existence

[effervescentandpuzzlingself]

✍️

Dear Reader,

I'm reaching out once again, sharing my day filled with enjoyable and relaxing activities as a counterbalance to the impending exhaustion that the upcoming weeks seem to promise.

Earlier today, I dedicated my time to video editing, so to post on IG. I then received a message from someone, filled with compliments. The sense of reward was immense, particularly given the two-hour effort I had invested in editing that specific video. Despite having numerous clips I wished to incorporate, the constraints of IG only permit three-minute videos.

On another note, I'm currently engrossed in the third season of BSD. Originally, my intention was to check costumes for Halloween, prompting me to watch this series. However, the narrative turned out to be captivating that I've continued watching. The rest, as they say, is history.

Later today, my plan involves delving into research materials for an upcoming class. I've encountered a potential challenge in one subject, particularly one involving technology. Aware of my friends' busy schedules, I'm considering resorting to YouTube for help.

I understand, Reader, that this update covers quite a bit.

Oh, let me recount an incident from last Friday. It marked my friend's birthday celebration. Considering how welcome I always feel at their house, the multitude of guests didn't faze me. Alongside the crowd, her boyfriend was also present, and I must say, we’re pretty cool. We've interacted before through games, and we also had a chance to bond at Megamall. But, that's not the point of my story. As we indulged in a drink, a single cup each, I asked about the secret behind their eight-year relationship. It resulted in laughter. The coziness and endearing nature of their relationship warmed my heart. Witnessing my friend B's happiness is a joy in itself, especially knowing her tendency to avoid overtly sweet expressions. Her boyfriend and I playfully teased her, while he, on the other hand, answered with, "Consistency and communication." Though his explanation was elaborated, the essence of these two words is essentially self-explanatory. After B left us for a while, D expanded on his thoughts about consistency and even introduced the concept of contentment. He shared stories about how his colleagues at work would tease him about exploring other romantic interests, and I attentively listened without judgment. He confessed his discomfort with his friends' behavior, believing that they struggle with embracing contentment. They only chase fleeting excitement, failing to understand that relationships should ideally evolve into a comforting and secure haven. His response resonated deeply with me, and I wish more men shared his perspective.

Therefore, I apologize in advance, Reader, for the long read. I wanted to recount these seemingly unrelated anecdotes before they slip from memory.

#z

[cherylstiredthoughts]

Happy Children

I wonder what it might be like to be ridiculously happy again.

It’s not been such a productive work day for me. I have one policy document and three articles to get through today, but somehow, the first 30 pages of my tasks have already been taking me over eight hours to mine through. It really is not that difficult either. I am not the fastest reader around for sure, but I normally get through four to five readings a day no problem, twenty even if I really put myself to it. But there is something about today. 

It might be the fact that my heater has not really been going and my body is simply tired trying to keep myself warm. It could be that I have been just having bad mental health days. It could be that I am just a little jaded from trying so hard to be the best at everything I do (even though I know I am not). Or maybe I am just in an easily distracted state of mind today.  Scrolling through the many stories of Instagram, I come across so many of my friends’ children from back home. Videos and pictures of them playing, swimming, laughing, eating, reading, etc. It seems as though everything they do is filled with joyous curiosity and excitement. Sure, it might be curated. I don’t really think they are always cheery and happy. However, all these videos reminded me that I was once a rather happy child. I had some rough moments in my childhood for sure. I am not simply looking back at it with rose-tinted lenses. Maybe just a hint less tinted. But there was truly a time I was happy. Not just as a child. Even as a teenager. 

I have had apple phones since 2013 and all my photos have been saved on the same app and I can trace memories of me travelling alone and happily. I can trace and look back at images and videos laughing so hard my sides hurt with my friends. I look back at all the silly things I did as a teenager with so much laughter and joy and I feel extremely jealous of that person. I truly have no idea what happened to them. Somewhere along the way, their immense joy and happiness have been stripped and then they became me. I don’t even remember being that happy anymore, but I remember I was.  It would be an immense lie to say that I was always happy. Perhaps a lot of it was a mask because I remembered keeping sad journals even back then. I remembered painting about suicide. But somehow, amongst all that, I still found joy and happiness a lot of the time. Sometimes, my partner and I do this little exercise we learned from therapy. We would tell each other about our day, leaving out all the bad and sad bits and only talk about happy bits. It does help me feel a little bit better. I think that’s why I was happier then. I developed a reputation of being ‘’the happy one’’ (to the point where people joked that I was crazy for being happy all the time) and maybe in trying to keep up with that reputation, sometimes, the lie becomes a reality and I feel happy. But these days, when I try the exercise and try to be happy, I am instead made starkly aware that I am not and that I have few things I am happy about. On days that I do a lot of nice things like swimming and foraging, the exercise seems really easy. But on days where I am sat at the desk all day trying so hard to find the motivation to just get through my readings, I find it difficult to find things to be happy about.  I wish I could remember being happier more. I don’t even take that many pictures anymore. It doesn’t feel like there are many memories worth making an account of. 

[redcarpetview]

SXSW FILM & TV FESTIVAL DIRECTOR JANET PIERSON SHIFTS TO DIRECTOR EMERITUS ROLE CLAUDETTE GODFREY PROMOTED VP, DIRECTOR OF FILM & TV

       The South by Southwest® (SXSW®) Conference and Festivals announced today that Janet Pierson, revered VP, Director of the SXSW Film & TV Festival will become Director Emeritus and her long-time deputy, Claudette Godfrey, Film Festival Programming Director, will assume leadership of the SXSW Film & TV Festival.

       2022 marked Pierson’s 15th year as head of SXSW Film & TV, capping a forty-five year career championing independent films and filmmakers in a variety of roles including exhibitor, producer’s rep, executive producer and segment producer and segment director of IFC-Criterion’s Split Screen. During her tenure as head of SXSW Film & TV, Pierson ensured the event was vital and wide-ranging, championing numerous careers in both the Conference and Festival, launching a dedicated section for Episodic programs years before other festivals and showcasing a renowned XR exhibition section, all while contributing to the strategy and direction of the broader event. Many of the films and careers Pierson has been privileged to be involved with are highlighted at SXSW Film at 25 and Alumni Stories. Her new role will include serving as a programmer for the 2023 event, where she will be celebrated for her exceptional contributions to SXSW and the entertainment sphere.

      “Leading SXSW Film (now SXSW Film & TV) starting in 2008 at the age of 50 was a wonderful, and quite unexpected, adventure. It’s been glorious to present so much great work at our unique event, yielding so many transformative experiences for creators and audience alike,” said Pierson. “I’m intensely proud of the work our small and very mighty team has accomplished. Now, 15 years and 14 events later, it feels right to hand the reins to the new Director, Film & TV, Claudette Godfrey. Claudette and I began working together in 2008 and she has been a significant collaborator and leader every step of the way. I’m excited to remain on the programming team to continue to support and elevate creators in this new capacity as Director Emeritus. It’s been a true privilege and I’m filled with gratitude.”

      Claudette Godfrey. Vice President, Director of Film & TV.

            Claudette Godfrey is widely regarded as a tastemaking curator of new voices in film. She has championed numerous short and music video filmmakers who went on to illustrious and award-winning careers, including Daniels (Everything Everywhere All At Once), Janicza Bravo (Lemon, Zola) Trey Shults (Krisha), Jim Cummings (Thunder Road) and many others. A native Austinite, she holds a singular understanding of every facet of SXSW, serving in a variety of capacities during her 17-year tenure at the event, ranging across volunteers, operations, and programming, and often multiple disciplines at once.

      Godfrey started as a volunteer crew manager in 2006, working her way up to an essential programming and operational force, becoming Film Festival Coordinator in 2009, Shorts Programmer and Operations Manager in 2010, Senior Programmer in 2017, and Director of Film Festival Programming in 2022. In her new role, Godfrey will lead the team and be responsible for the vision, programming, and execution of the SXSW Film & TV Festival, and the film and TV-focused content within the SXSW Conference. 

     “Janet is an incredible leader and mentor, and I am deeply grateful for the opportunity to watch and learn from her example. Our bold community of filmmakers, our enthusiastic audiences, and our gifted team that makes it all happen perpetually inspire me,” said Godfrey. “I’m a hype woman at heart, and it’s a great joy in my life to discover and elevate new talent by curating and evolving an event that celebrates film, TV, and creativity. I started from the bottom and the journey has been exceptional — it’s an immense honor to continue to build on the legacy of SXSW Film & TV and take it into the future.”

      Register now for the 2023 event to get the best hotel rates and options. SXSW Film & TV and XR submissions are open through October 18, 2022.

                                                                                                                        # # #

#Film #Music #SXSW #SXSW Film & TV Festival #Claudette Godfrey #Janet Pierson #SXSW Conference #Naomi Richard #naomijrichard #naomi j richard #Naomi Logan Richard #IFC-Criterion’s Split Screen #SXSW 2023 #SXSW2023 #RCV #Red Carpet View

[parkjiminiemouse]

Eyes

I’m going to be 100% honest, this is pretty fucking dark. I’ve never written anything like this before but I kind of like it. Plus it’s October so I thought why not? Please please please read the warning and proceed with caution!

Warnings: Gore, explicit language, fem reader (not specifically mentioned by heavily implied), cheating, murder, attack, implied homophobia

Please let me know if I missed anything

Not edited.

———————————————————————————

If I had the time to tell you all the fucked up things I’ve done throughout my lifetime, you would think I was the devil himself. To be fair, the people whose life I did fuck up deserved it. Though, there was this one man who started it all.

I remember that very night, I was sitting on the steps and I had met a man that was around my age, had red hair, and a beautiful singing voice. His name was Choi Jongho I would soon come to find out. When I tell you I was stupid enough to not just fall in love with him but to dedicate my heart, mind, body, and soul to this very man, it was the worst yet best mistake I had ever made. Sometimes I thank Jongho, he made me into the person I am today, the very best me I could possibly be.

Anyways, he was just, amazing in every sense of the word. I distinctly remember laying in bed with him for the first time, our legs tangled as a small giggle escapes my plump lips. He had the softest brown eyes and they held millions of stars in them. His soft hands caressed my cheek, a hint of a smile on his face as he finally whispered the words I longed to hear, “I love you.”

When he said that, his fate had been sealed. I didn’t know it at the time nor did Jongho but those words would be the very reason why he was murdered, love. When people said love can make someone do crazy things I didn’t believe them one bit, they were making things up, right?

It was one of those quiet nights again, laying beside Jongho as he looked at me with starstruck eyes. My heart swelled in my chest, a soft blush appearing on my cheeks as he whispered sweet nothings into my ear. Opening my mouth to speak I was quickly interrupted by his phone ringing. A frown soon replaced the soft smile that was once placed upon my face as he sat up and answered it. The warmth of the moment fading as quickly as it came.

He left moments later and what was once blissful silence had now turned into bitter silence. He had been leaving very often lately and I had grown curious so naturally I followed after him. What I found was a sight that broke my heart but to this day, fuels my anger. The soft lips that once kissed mine were now meeting someone else’s, a male. A gasp escaped my lips which caught their attention, tears streamed down my face as I watched a look of terror fill both of their eyes. I was being used, I was being toyed with, I wasn’t about to allow myself to continue being the puppet, I wanted to pull the strings.

So that’s what I did, I had him wrapped around my finger, dangling the information I very much knew would ruin his whole career. Now, it’s widely accepted, soft of, but back then, back when we had first met, coming out wasn’t welcomed. Did I mention that I liked to record just about every moment in my life? No? Well I guess now would be a good time to mention that I got their little, dirty, make out session on camera. Oh and don’t forget the look of terror in his eyes. Every time I see the video it makes me laugh, that look, I love it, every second of it.

“Please…” small whimpers escaped his chapped lips as he begged me to delete the video. “Please please please! I’ll do anything!” He yelled as my fingers hovered over the post button. A devious smirk on my face, seeing him this way filled me with joy, but it also made me sick, I still wasn’t used to being so cruel especially to a man I still loved deeply. Turning the phone off I give him a quick peck on the lips before smiling. “Good boy.”

Ah, the night I remember vividly now has its time to shine in this little story of mine. I remember the night perfectly, it was pitch black only a street light illuminating the sidewalk only a few feet in front of me. I was walking towards my car, phone in hand, rewatching the video that had started it all. Reaching for my keys my mouth is swiftly covered as strong arms wrap around me. Struggling, I tried my best to escape from their grasp when I saw Jongho. A part of me felt an immense amount of dread fill my body. I had been blackmailing him for months, using him for my own pleasure, he wasn’t here to save me, he was here to ruin me. The person holding me back was none other than his little slut.

He spit in my face before he grabs my phone and smashes it on the ground. I continue to struggle but I feel a sharp pain overcome my body. Everything had happened so fast, I felt warm blood stream down my face as my vision turned pitch black. A scream escapes my lips as I’m let go, left on the ground, the sound of footsteps fading in the distance.

When I woke up I still couldn’t see. It took me a moment to realize what had happened, the reality had just sunk in. Reaching up to rub my eyes I find that there’s nothing there, just empty hallow holes where my eyes should be. A blood curling scream escapes my cracked, dry lips as I heard the door open.

“My eyes! My eyes! Where are they?!” I scream, trashing around as what I assumed were nurses attempt to hold me down.

“Calm down!” A man yells and while the yelling should’ve alarmed me it seemed to bring me comfort. Slowly I took deep breaths and started to calm down. “There’s nothing to worry about. You still have your eyes.” A wave of relief overcame my body as he placed a jar in my hands. My eyebrows furrow and he must’ve seen my expression before he adds, “they’re in your hands.”

So you see, I had a clear motive to kill Choi Jongho and that slut he replaced me with. To be honest, I shouldve savored their death more but it’s alright. To cut this long story short, (I know you’re probably feeling quite impatient) I carved his eyes out along with his precious lovers once I got my hands on them. His sweet sweet screams filled the soundproofed basement as I placed his eyes into my empty sockets. Now, I can’t exactly see but that’s because I don’t have the perfect fit yet. My next victim though, Kang Yeosang. His eyes are beautiful, I hope they’ll fit just right.

#angst #kpop angst #ateez #ateez imagines #Ateez blurbs #Ateez one shot #Ateez reactions #Ateez scenarios #Choi Jongho #Jongho angst #Jongho horror #Ateez horror #Ateez thriller #thriller #spooktober #horror #plot idea #kpop horror #kpop thriller #Choi Jongho imagines #Choi jongho reactions #Jongho blurbs #jongho imagines #jongho x reader???? #jongho #october #halloween #scary #dark #kpop

[haravath0t]

parol (with filipina!reader)

Warnings: angst (if you squint), immense fluff, and a big word count (sorry)

Summary: The holidays are approaching and reader shares some of her favorite Christmas traditions with Bucky as they decorate, but a little incident happens. To lighten up her spirits, James surprises her on Christmas Eve. 

A/N: Hi everyone! I hope you had a great Christmas and New Year! Now with time in my hands I was able to complete this work! I rarely see any Filipina!Readers so I wrote this, as Christmas and my heritage is something I hold close to my heart. It is my first one shot, so bear with me! I hope you all enjoy!

*italics indicate flashbacks!

Today was not your day. You wanted to go home after doing reports and paperwork, surprise Bucky with a nice dinner and pumpkin pie, video call your family that lived in the Philippines to open the gifts you shipped over to them, and call it a day. However, luck was not on your side. Oversleeping, last minute additional reports, agents that were slacking off during training, misplacement of papers, everything you could never dream of happening all in one day happened. You walked over to Bucky, who was leaning against the black car waiting for you as he toyed with the car keys. “Hey, sweetheart, come on why don’t we- you okay?” He asks, concern apparent in his voice as he watches you angrily open the door. “Swell.” Bucky knew better than to push you into talking based on the way you slammed the door and did the better option as he drove you two out of the headquarters to your shared apartment: wait till you talk. “It’s been a bad day,” you sigh in frustration as you look out the window, relaxing when Bucky nods in understanding. “It’ll be alright, sweetheart, talk to me.” And so you did, which led to you both agreeing on having take out for dinner to save yourself from more stress. The two of you were carrying bags filled with take out and lovely desserts as you went into the apartment, leaving you to close the door behind you with your feet. Unfortunately harder than you had intended to. The laughter had died when you heard the sound of something breaking not too far from you both, causing your whole face to drop. The once brightly lit parol, had shattered into pieces, leaving the lights inside to flicker. That did it for you. The tears that have been threatening to fall from your eyes all day have started to drop. “Y/N…” Bucky starts softly, cutting himself off when he sees you quietly and carefully approach the now broken parol, trying to pick the broken pieces up. “Y/N, careful,” Bucky says worriedly, putting his set of bags down to stop you from hurting yourself. “It’s… it’s broken Buck…” you say in disbelief and disappointment, sniffing as you wipe your tears. “Hey. It’s going to be alright, sweetheart. We can work something out-” “It’s my only parol.”

“It’s okay, hey we still can video call-” “My family had opened their presents by now.” Bucky was stumped for you to say the least. He couldn’t even figure out what to say to you over the quiet dinner table when you barely picked up your food and when you immediately retreated to the bedroom, quiet sniffles echoing. He knew that feeling all too well, having something so connected to your identity be taken away in a moment’s notice. He knew one thing though. He wanted to make you feel at home, and he was going to do something about it.

---

“What do you have there, baby doll?” Bucky questions as he watched you open a square shaped box. He smiled when you didn’t respond, a little habit of yours that he has loved knowing that you could not contain your excitement. “A parol!” you squealed, revealing a carefully crafted ring with a star shaped piece in the middle. It was made of red, white, green, and yellow dyed capiz shells. He had never seen anything like it before. 

He continues to look at the parol, blush forming on his cheeks in embarrassment when you laughed at his curious gaze. “Parols are pretty much Christmas lanterns back in the Philippines. They normally are shaped as stars and they light up at night! It definitely shows the Filipino Christmas spirit,” you explain to him as your excited eyes meet his. Bucky loved hearing you explain your culture, especially since you have been quite homesick since joining the team and having a place of your own. You did not want your family to know too much of what your job entailed. With that being said, whenever you got a chance to immerse yourself in the culture you grew up with, you always took the chance. 

“Want to help me hang it?” You ask, already finding the right spot for it. “Of course doll, let’s go” he replies with a smile, following you to the window to help. Bucky had to admit, the parol looked wonderful. He watched the lantern in satisfaction as it lit up in wonderful patterns, a sight he can’t wait to become accustomed to. “Must really take long to make these,” he remarks as his eyes admire the lantern. “It does… especially these, but they’re all beautiful.” You sigh happily hugging your boyfriend as you watch the parol, twinkling bright as the snow slowly fell gently outside the apartment’s window. 

“God I missed this. You wanna know something?” Bucky’s eyes turned away from the lantern and looked at you intently. 

“Yeah?” 

“This has been around since I was a kid.”

“Really, now?”

“Mhm! I always grew up being surrounded by the culture and my family and I always loved showing it off during the Christmas season. Of course not like in the Philippines though, but we always tried to remember home here. I hope you don’t mind. I asked my parents to bring it over, so I can have a piece of them with me.” The way your face fell in melancholy and embarrassment did not come unnoticed by Bucky. “I don’t mind at all, sweetheart. This is our place, right? Besides, it adds a little flare to our little place doesn’t it?” he questions with that charming smile, making you reciprocate it back in relief before you kiss his cheek. 

“It does… thank you.”

--- 

A knock sounds through the now quiet apartment, making Bucky immediately make his way to the door. “Oh, Mrs. Y/L/N. Thank you for coming.” He says, gently taking your mother’s hand and bringing it up to his forehead just like you taught him. “Ahhh, bless you, bless you,” your mother responds while giggling, making her way into your apartment and sitting down on a couch. Bucky watched in surprise as she took out several simple materials from one of her plastic bags: string, small string lights, bamboo sticks, colored cellophane sheets, rubber bands, and colored tissue paper. 

“That looks different from the one she hung up a few days ago.” Bucky commented in surprise, only for your mother to look up at him with raised eyebrows. “You don’t expect me to make one that expensive looking, do you? No! I’ll buy one for you two later. But for now, let me teach you how to do it the traditional way. Come here.” Your mother beckoned, making Bucky smile as he took his seat next to you, excited for what’s next. 

“Yan! (There we go) What do you think? Pretty good right?” Your mother smiled, clapping quietly as Bucky smiled proudly at the simple parol he had just finished making. It was a simple one for sure unlike the incredibly detailed one you both hung, but he desperately hoped you would enjoy at least a substitute for the meantime. “Wow..it’s nice… thank you…” he started, only to have your mother wave her hand nonchalantly. “Ayyy… it’s no problem. I’m glad you made the effort to do this for her. Thank you.” She laughed when Bucky’s cheeks started to turn red and pinched them before standing up and taking the rest of her bags to the kitchen. Bucky was then confused, from the additional bags in the kitchen, the urgent sounding phone call in what seemed to be Tagalog, and your mother’s quick paced actions. “Is there a way I can help?” He asks, shyly. Your mother couldn’t help but laugh once again, dragging him into the kitchen with her. “I called her father so we can do this.” 

“What are we going to do, exactly?”

“Bring home to her!”

You sighed in relief as the door of your apartment was getting closer and closer. It was luckily a better day, just training and meetings before you were able to go home. You were very much ready to be greeted by your lover’s arms and wind down. However, that wasn’t the case, for when you closed the door, a familiar scent filled the air. “Wait a minute,” you whispered in disbelief, hurrying to the kitchen and saw several foods that you have terribly missed: pork barbecue, chicken afritada, bibingka, and rice cakes. You squealed with joy when your mom and dad yelled surprise, not hesitating to hug the both of them excitedly as joyful tears ran down your cheeks. “I’ve missed you guys! How did you come here?! What?!” you question in awe and denial, which made your parents smile. “You have to thank your boyfriend for that one, anak (child)” your dad replies to a smile.  “I called them over. To hopefully cheer you up.” A shy voice says. You turned around in surprise to see Bucky walking shyly to you with his arms behind his back. “That’s not the only surprise he has for you anak! Bucky, show her! Show her!” Your mother beckoned, resulting in yet another confused look from you. Bucky smiled shyly and revealed to you the parol that he had made earlier, causing another gasp to leave your lips and more tears to fall. 

“Buck… you made this?” Bucky smiled shyly “I did… I remembered you mentioning that people were able to make them, so I asked your mom to teach me, so we can have this for the meantime. I know it’s not much but-” His words were then cut off as you tightly embraced him, then went up on your tippy toes to shower your boyfriend with thankful kisses. “Oh, it’s more than enough, Buck… thank you. Thank you, so much.” You truly were grateful. You were aware that it may have not been easy for Bucky to call them up, let alone build a parol, and you were amazed beyond belief. The two of you hung the small and simple parol that lit up softly in the dark night, admiring the cute sight as your parents took pictures of the two of you with smiles beaming on their faces. “Come on then, you two, let’s eat!” your dad exclaims, laughter filling the walls of the apartment.

 “I can’t believe you,” You whispered to Bucky, holding his hand as you both walked to the table. “Couldn’t let my girl go through her favorite holiday being sad, can’t I? What kind of boyfriend would I be? I figured you could have a piece of home with you for the holidays, so I wanted to give my girl a surprise..” You giggled and nodded and kissed his knuckles, your eyes meeting his wonderful blue ones. 

“I love you so much, Buck. Thank you. But my home wouldn’t be complete without you in the picture, couldn’t it?” 

“Neither would mine, baby doll.”

You took a final look at the parol and back at Bucky, smiling in content as he led you to the dinner table. You held that parol close to your heart, as it showed the efforts and the simple actions that you two took into making each other happy. The fact that Bucky would do this for you was remarkable to you, and that alone proved to you that it didn’t matter where you were, for James Buchanan Barnes was now always there to proudly remind you of home.

Tags: @world-of-aus​ @whew-oh-em-gee​ @lordyitsjordy​ @tomholland-96​ @letstalkaboutsebbaby​

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Main Masterlist

#Bucky Barnes #bucky #buckybarnesxreader #bucky x filipino!reader #filipino!reader #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes scenario #james buchanan barnes #mcu #mcu scenario #mcu imagine #bucky barnes imagine #Filipina!reader #bucky barnes x reader #filipino reader insert #filipino marvel

[cakejots]

this is us trying, Chapter 3 - The Decision

In this AU, they don’t know each other outside of the suit. And in this AU, Ladybug and Chat Noir love each other. But in this AU, Chat doesn’t want their identities revealed.

Written for @ladynoirjuly 2021

notes: this is a coherent story based on all the prompts; each chapter contains at least 3 prompts

Ch 1 | Ch 2 | Ch 3 | Ch 4 | Ch 5 | Ch 6 | Ch 7 | Ch 8 | Ch 9 | Ch 10

Read on AO3

8. Admiration

Ladybug shifted from her spot at the top of Notre Dame’s North Tower, awaiting Chat’s arrival. The time it took to get in contact with him again wasn’t very long, but it was longer than the intervals between their dates. She understood that he has his own life to live, and sometimes, their schedules just really couldn’t match up. But for this time, in particular, she couldn’t help but feel that he was avoiding her.

Was it really a coincidence that he got especially busy right after he left her alone on that rooftop? She didn’t know.

Even though Ladybug had arrived 15 minutes earlier, she had that irrational fear that he wouldn’t turn up. She knew Chat wasn't like that, he always keeps his word. But she couldn’t help it, the possibility that their relationship could take a turn for the worse frightened her.

Luckily, before her thoughts could spiral out of control, Chat landed a few metres away from her.

Relief flooded her chest as Chat slowly stood from his crouched position. She was about to run over and throw her arms around him when his words stopped her.

“I’m really sorry for what I’ve done that day.” Chat wasn’t at his full height, his body posture was humbled and he was rubbing his hands.

“What I did was horrible, and I’ve no excuse for the way I treated you that day.” He had his head lowered and his eyes glimpsed at her ever so often, to see if she was listening to him. “I understand if you want to walk away, I just hope you’ll forgive me.”

Her eyes harden, posture standing even taller than before. Ladybug eyed him. This was the second time he had talked about her leaving him.

“I’m not going to walk away, Chat.” Her eyes softened as he flinched from her sudden rush of words. “But I’ll be lying if I said that didn’t hurt. I just want to know why it happened.”

Tears filled his green eyes as he fixed them on hers. His face held a sombre expression, as though it physically hurt him to be saying those next words.

“My lady,” he pleaded with a voice thick of desperation. “Forgive me, I promise I’ll tell you one day. Just… I can’t— not now…”

Ladybug sighed.

“Please know that,” he quickly rushed to her and embraced her tightly. “I didn’t regret giving you that kiss! Never.”

Ladybug raised her arms and tightened her grip on him as he trembled.

“Thank you for your assurance, Chaton.” She pulled back and surveyed his face. “I’m aware that this is a bit insensitive, but could you wait here for 5 minutes? I’m just going to get some stuff.”

Chat grew uneasy. To be alone on a cool night? He was reasonably unsettled, especially after what had confronted him just moments ago. Ladybug said she wouldn’t walk away, but now she’s asking him to stay here? How could he not be worried?

“Just 5 minutes,” her fingers grazed his face. “I promise you’ll enjoy our date even more after I bring those things here.”

He should trust her. He knows he could trust her. After all, she had said she wouldn't leave. It happened once, it can happen again.

“We can call each other while I’m—“

“It’s okay, my lady.” He pulled back and smiled. “I’ll see you in 5 minutes.”

Ladybug wasn’t convinced that he’s okay, but she gave him a peck on the cheek to ease his doubts. “I’ll be back before you know it!”

And true to her words, she came back in 3 minutes, with two pillows, a thick blanket, and a laptop in her arms.

Chat eyed them quizzingly.

“We, are going to get comfortable and watch montages of ourselves!” She sat beside him, the Ladyblog web page now visible on her screen. “Looking at how awesome we were would give us that extra endorphins boost, don't you think?”

“We are still awesome now, what are you saying?” He wrapped the blanket around them.

She giggled. “We should do some parkour sometimes.”

Bundled up in blankets with their limbs tangled, they sat there watching the best moments they had while battling Akumas, fondness for themselves and for the other clear on their faces.

Ladybug has always been like this, trying to solve whatever issues that arise. It’s how they’ve won battle after battle. Even after the threat is gone, she’s still trying to salvage the situation, no matter how small it is in the grand scheme of things.

Chat was immensely grateful for what she had done tonight. The videos had really calmed his nerves and brought back all those euphoric memories he once had. The reason why he was doing this in the first place. The joy his lady had brought to him whenever he spent time with her. The love and admiration he felt for her as she stood up against Hawkmoth on their first day as superheroes, despite Ladybug believing that she wasn’t suited for her calling.

The love…

He tightened his hold around her.

“You alright?”

“Yeah, just mesmerised by how cool we are.”

How could he have forgotten? How miraculously amazing she was. No. She still is, up till this very day. Even after 6 years. Even after he denied her what she wanted most following Shadowmoth’s defeat. Even after what he’s done to their relationship. She never walked away from him, and is still trying to rectify the situation.

He wasn’t making it easy for her, even though it should’ve been after the final battle. It’s really unfair to her.

And yet, she’s still here, she still chose to stick with him.

This can’t go on.

He took hold of her hand and brought it to his lips. “You’re the best thing that has ever happened to me.”

9. Cinema

“Come on, come on, come on, we’re gonna be late!” Chat hurriedly pushed her into the cinema, worried that they wouldn't make it to showtime.

“Wasn’t that 5-hour binge-watch enough?” Ladybug was obviously excited about the movie, but she couldn’t allow him the satisfaction so easily.

“Of course not! This is the sequel to the series!” He continued pushing as if there’s nothing entirely wrong with his behaviour.

“And we’re heading to a cinema now. Didn’t you say you wanted us to be as discreet as possible?” She raised her eyebrow despite Chat not being able to see her face.

“Yeah, but it’s the premiere today! We won’t be able to watch it on the laptop.” They stopped at the cinema hall entrance and Chat scanned his ticket for the seat number before he continued pushing. “Also, watching in a cinema after hours of watching from a smaller screen is just a different experience, no?”

They finally arrived at the row where their seats were, but he continued resting his hands on her shoulder, guiding her to her seat before finally letting her go. “Besides, Parisians won’t kick us out after the ‘patrol’ stun we pulled.”

She rolled her eyes. “I mean we did do our job when something happened.”

Although animated films are popular in France, this particular one didn’t attract as many audiences as those action-packed animated films, which was a blessing and a curse because they would be able to get away with minimal attention on them, but also so many people are missing out on this greatness.

“Anyway, do you think we’ll cry again?” She rubbed her tear-stained eyes, “I don’t think I’ve any liquid left in me for that.”

“Nonsense, there’s definitely more in you,” he cupped her cheeks to have a better look at her. “And you still look so pretty even after all that crying.”

“Oh, quite the sadist, aren’t you? Does my crying bring you joy?”

“Come on, Buguinette, you can’t deny it was phenomenal.”

“Yeah, you’re right. It is phenomenal. But couldn’t we spread it out even more? The watch time on that series I mean.”

“I… I won’t have time for the rest of the week,” his smile fell as his hands caressed her cheeks. “I’m really sorry.”

“No wonder you wanted to spend the whole day today,” she teased. “Well, no worries about it! I love spending time with you.”

He moved his hand to hers and placed a kiss on her knuckles. “Thank you, my lady.”

And that’s when the lights started dimming. They relaxed into their respective seats, but not without interlacing their hands together.

The movie, of course, had delivered what the series had set out to do. The cinema was filled with sniffles and sobs and Ladybug and Chat Noir were certainly not spared from the experience. They were tearing like they had been all afternoon, the only difference was that they weren’t able to hold the other as tightly as they would’ve liked due to the armrest in between them.

And they didn’t realise the importance of tissues until that night. They had to go to the toilet to clean their face and clear their noses before continuing with other plans they had had for the night.

10. Moonlight

As they left the establishment, they were surprised to see how the gleaming of the silver orb that hung in the sky rivalled that of The City of Light.

Chat proposed spending the rest of the night at the top of the Eiffel Tower, given that it has been a while since they were there. And immediately regretted that suggestion when he remembered that their last memories of the Eiffel Tower were of him expressing his wishes to hold off the reveal right after the final battle.

But Ladybug eagerly agreed and was already well on her way. He had no choice but to follow through.

When he arrived, he was awestruck by the moon. He has—

“—never seen the moon this big! Wow!” Ladybug proclaimed as she took in the moon in all its beauty.

She was captivated by the glamour of the moon, but to Chat, it seemed as though she was basking in the moonlight. Her suit gave off a shimmering red glow not often seen and her dark hair looked midnight blue under it. Her back was towards him, but as she turned around to move towards the spot next to him, he felt his own heartbeat quickened. The brilliance of her blue orbs awed him, they were of a pigment he had never seen before in her eyes.

“Wow indeed.”

They moved to sit side by side on the edge and took in the view of the moon and of the city. Did they really enjoy this view of the city weekly before? Has it always been this beautiful?

“You know,” Ladybug started, breaking the silence. “I’m really glad he chose what he did in the end.”

“Yeah, they finally got together.”

She peered upwards. “It wasn’t an easy journey, but I’m so satisfied with that ending. I’m sure everyone was crying tears of joy too.”

That animated series as a whole was about conveying your feelings to the ones you love. Which he did, a lot. He was never one to shy away from declaring his love for her. But why did everything change after the final battle? Why did he change after the final battle?

His heart must’ve been tired of what his brain was trying to reason about, and thus led him to pick this series to watch, and eventually the movie. All the answers were there.

He knew his lady well enough and was certain that she wouldn't walk away. She has proved that time and time again.

So what was preventing him from being with her, when he very much desired to have a happy ending with her as well?

In some ways, his current predicament was similar to Gilbert’s. He was afraid. He was afraid that she’ll abandon him after she found out who he really was, and what he’s done.

But…

Chat looked over to see Ladybug moonbathing and enjoying the light breeze. Was it too much to hope for a happy ending himself? He knew damn well how Violet felt throughout the whole ordeal of trying to get Gilbert back by her side. Did he really want his lady to end up that way eventually, when he had the ability to prevent that?

No. That’s too brutal. The world was already cruel to him. But if he could prevent that cruelty and enable her to witness how beautiful life can be, how pleasant she had made life for him, he’d do it.

“Chaton?”

Those eyes that looked at him as though he hung the stars in her sky. Those wide blue eyes that never gave up on him despite his failure to give her what she wanted most. Those worried, concerned eyes, so full of love.

He was choked up with emotions.

“I love you.”

Ladybug inhaled sharply and stared at him unblinking, unsure if she misheard those words.

She reached out to him slowly. “Can… Can you say that again?”

“I love you.” He took her hand and squeezed it, leaning in to press his warm lips against her cheek.

He pulled back to see tears in the corner of her eyes.

“My lady?”

She still stared at him as her tears started to trickle down her face.

His hands flew to her face. “My—”

Ladybug threw her arms around him with such vitality that they toppled over. “I love you too!”

He pulled her in to close any gaps between them, so very glad that she still felt the same despite all that has happened. She planted a heartwarming kiss on his cheek as Chat landed on his back.

They basked in each other’s warmth and presence. He stroked her hair and she melted into him, happy tears flowing as her kitty was starting to declare his love for her again, verbally.

“My lady, can we meet up again tomorrow?”

“I thought you said you were busy?” She giggled.

“I did,” he grinned. “But who said anything about meeting during the hours of the day?”

#ladynoirjuly2021 #ladynoirjuly #ladynoir #mesfics #miraculous ladybug #fanfic #mlb fanfic #ladybug #chat noir #alternate universe #light angst #fluff #hurt/comfort #this is us trying

[creamypudding]

Might just be real for a tick and vent into the ether.

I feel broken. Something deep in my head and my soul. It's different from the existential dread I had a few months ago where I felt inexplicably, bottomlessly sad. I'm not sad, but I feel empty.

It started with the loss of a long-held job. It was a stressful period where hope left me and I drowned myself in the banality of Netflix to take my mind off an uncertain and difficult future.

I found a job in a relatively quick time-frame (thank fuck) - a better paid job, so life is way better, and yet that angst and stress has ripped something from me, or at the very least knocked it out of place.

This was also right around the time COVID became a huge problem again for my country so I am happy to concede that maybe that is weighing on me too. It seems more serious now as the strains get further and further out of control. And in addition to this we are hurtling toward the—what feels like an almost inevitable—collapse of our environment and ecosystem so that really doesn't help anything either.

Life is pretty shit for the world. The future looks grim. The thing that brought me joy and sanity (writing) does nothing anymore.

*I* do nothing anymore. The idea of looking at anything I've written fills me with absolutely no want or passion. It's like a chore that I don't care to perform. Although I did have a mini spark today when I woke up from a tiny nap. I left my bed and headed for the living room where I had left my phone and by the time I found it all desire to dive back into a world and story I had immense drive and motivation for fizzled out like a Wyle E. Coyote bomb fuse that goes out just before it reaches the detonation point because that's just his luck.

I was half hoping that some enthusiasm would return to me on posting my latest story but the below luke warm reception, though expected because fish monster fucking is hardly anyone's cup of tea 😅, is still, as you might imagine, disheartening.

I'm not someone who generally needs to rely on outside motivation to keep writing because of how much I have always loved writing, but the passion has vanished so I am looking for any kind of outside spark, as it were.

I suppose that is because I can't remember my love for writing ever having been gone for quite this long. I remember that in the past I was burnt out from a long-fic. But that is a different feeling to what I am currently experiencing.

Burnt-out is an exhaustion. What I'm feeling right now though is that I just don't care and some days I find myself pulled out of my new hobby of looking after house plants (researching, gardening, watching informative YouTube videos) and I think to myself that I may seriously never write again because of how much I don't care about finishing my stories. Even my long standing passion projects. Though maybe it is a little bit more of an exhaustion when I think on my long-term projects. Hmm.

Generally speaking though, I just... Am fizzled out. It's probably overdramatic but at the same time... Life feels hopeless. Maybe I have fallen into another existential dread, afterall. Not that it matters. Wallowing only helps so much.

Useful things I can do for myself...

- Probably try and find a therapist to talk this out with for a few sessions at least. (Though it feels like this post is already going a good long way in fulfilling this bit)

- Stop tuning into the news on a daily basis. I have been consuming it way too much and while I think I'm fine, clearly I'm not.

- Maybe have a real talk with a friend. Like over the phone and not just text messages.

- Have a long, hard cry. I know I said earlier that I wasn't sad but as I've written this the tears have begun.

- Recognise that I could also be just fucking overly emotional lately because stress and change of routine and my menstrual cycle wreaking havoc.

- Exercise. When I lost my job I fell out of my newly-forming and very fragile exercise routine. I should really prioritise that.

And maybe once I do some or all of the above I can find myself again and reignite my passion and want.

Ok. Thanks for coming to the Pudding self-care talk. I think I got some stuff off my chest and figured out a practical plan of attack.

#real talk #pudding self-care

[for-ests]

Lost In Your Light: Peter Parker x Reader (Part 2)

Part 1

Word count: 1, 906

CHAPTER 2: FRAGILE

The morning sunshine peaked through the window, warm on her face, yet harsh on her eyes.

Y/N stretched her arms out wide and yawned. It felt good to sleep in, especially after the mishap last night. Thank God it was Saturday.

After minutes of contemplating if she should get out of bed, the girl finally pushed the covers off her body. She stood up and made her way downstairs, ears perking up as she heard the television already turned on.

"Dad?" She called, trotting down the last few steps and entering the foyer. "Why aren't you asleep?" Her father, Doctor L/N, was a busy and intelligent man. He usually worked in the emergency room at Queens Medical Center. He was one of the best surgeons in the state, which called for great responsibility, and a great absence from his daughter's life.

That's why she was surprised to see him awake so early.

Her father was sitting at the breakfast counter, glasses on and newspaper in hand. He had a full cup of coffee placed a few inches away, and Y/N knew that it had to be his third or fourth round.

He looked up and smiled. "Good morning sweetheart." His voice rang in that familiar New York accent that so many people tried to mimic. It made her smile. He had grown up here his whole life, unlike her. She didn't sound like a New Yorker, but she had inherited his features.

Like his warm hazel eyes. Even after years of aging, they were as distinct as ever. He used to have silky brown hair, but now his full head of hair was almost grey--making him look wise. People close to him would know it was true. He was full of life and joy, despite the fact that the love of his life had died five years ago.

Y/N loved her father dearly. He was her only close family left, since she was the only child. They moved to Queens when she was 13, right after her mother had died. It was a huge and painful adjustment, traveling from a small mid western town to one of the largest cities in America. Her mother was her life, the one who took care of her while her father was away at work. Y/N missed her every single day.

Following the traumatizing events, she was more than grateful to have her father by her side through it all. He was a good man, and he loved her mother. Even though he was gone most days, he had done his best. He was there for her when she needed him.

Now that she was eighteen, Y/N understood the importance of his job and why he was called to do it. He saved lives on the daily, basically resurrecting people who should have died from their traumatic injuries. Living in the city was incredibly dangerous, especially since violent crime had increased with foreign species of alien life and their advanced weaponry. 

But deep down inside, Y/N knew her father’s dedication stemmed from the immense amount of guilt and shame he felt. He wasn't able to save his wife from stage four brain cancer. Now, Thomas L/N  was bound to spend the rest of his life trying to make up for his failure.

Every time she looked at him, she could see the tiredness that lingered in his expression. He would never remarry. He would never love again. And it broke her heart.

So every moment was a blessing. Time was scarce in their household.

"Couldn't sleep." He sighed loudly, setting the paper aside. "I don't have any surgeries scheduled for the rest of the day. It doesn't matter."

Y/N raised her eyebrow. "What time is it at?"

"2am." He groaned.

"That still counts as tonight dad, you know that." She chuckled, opening the fridge to take out a carton of eggs. "You want any?"

"If you're making scrambled, yes."

Y/N rolled her eyes. She preferred it over easy, but she would do anything for her father. Even if that meant sacrificing yolk on toast. "Coming right up!" She cheered over-dramatically, salvaging for a skillet and slotted turner.

She cracked open 5 eggs and added some peppers and onions for her father's preference.

As she waited for the stove to heat up, she grabbed the remote and turned on the tabletop television.

Y/N flipped leisurely through the channels, stopping on the local news for his pleasure. She would normally read the daily news on her phone, but any moment they could share together was precious. 

Her father lifted his head as he listened in on the weather for today. It was supposed to be cloudy with a 70% chance of snow.

Y/N frowned, she had wanted to spend some time outside on her day off, but Mother Nature had different plans.

She poured the battered eggs into the skillet, smiling as they sizzled. Their seasoned smell lofted through the apartment, adding to the tranquility that rested between the two.

"Smells good honey." Her father rubbed his belly jokingly. "Haven't had a home cooked breakfast in awhile."

"It's because you're never home." Y/N stuck her tongue out. “I’ll make some bacon too.” 

Her father was about to say something, but was interrupted by the TV. Both their attentions switched to the breaking news segment.

"SPIDER-MAN ASSISTING COPS IN THE CAPTURE OF DOUBLE MURDERER AND BANK ROBBER CHARLES ANDERSON"

The news report continued to explain the situation. The background displaying a familiar-looking building that Y/N recognized to be a few blocks down.

Chills ran down her spine as she realized how close the murder was to where she ‘worked’. What if she had gotten caught in something like that?

She glanced to her father, sighing in relief. He didn't seem to notice her surprise. Which was good because she didn't want him to ask any questions.

"Charles Anderson may have links to the local gang Thorns, but authorities still refuse to comment. All we know is that he is in custody, after being found hanging from a spider web."

Y/N smiled. That Spider-Man was a mystery. She felt safe knowing someone was watching over their city, catching criminals left and right. Especially the violent ones that lingered in the shadows. 

"What do you think about the spider boy?" Her father chuckled after setting his cup of coffee down.

"I like him." Y/N continued to dice the vegetables.

Her father kept listening in on the broadcast. "This just in, Spider-Man confirmed-"

"It's been almost two years since he showed up." He reminded her, his tone somewhat pessimistic. 

"Really?" That comment took her aback. She had forgotten how long it had been. She remembered first hearing about him her sophomore year, sneaking into the bathroom with her friends to watch YouTube videos. That seemed like so long ago, even though it had only been a few years. Y/N had grown so much since then, she was approaching the end of her senior year, almost eighteen years old. And the concept of supernatural beings had become the norm.

As she poured the rest of the vegetables into the skillet, she wondered just how many people like her there were.

Y/N knew she would be safer to keep her abilities a secret. She wasn't strong like Captain America, smart like Iron Man, or even agile like Spider-Man.

She was almost normal.

But even if she wasn't completely normal, knowing there was someone who wanted to keep others safe made her heart feel warm. It was encouraging to see there were others who wanted to help make their crime filled city a better place.

"Hello?" Her dad asked loudly, snapping Y/N back to reality.

"Huh?" She blinked in surprise, failing to notice how deep in thought she was. "Did you say something?"

"I was wondering if you think his intentions are good."

"Truly? I do." She scraped the eggs evenly onto two plates. She didn't want to say too much. Her father didn't need to know about her secret crush on Spider-Man.

"You think so?" Her father got up from his chair and walked over to the window that overlooked the city. "I get worried when these incredibly strong humans are so close to home. That man could kill someone without even trying."

"You do have a point." Y/N laughed, shaking her head at how serious he had gotten. He was often overthinking things. She wondered what he would do if he found out about her powers.

"Do you like him? Tossing aside your philosophy. What do you actually think?"

Her father was silent for a moment, his hands tucked in his trousers. "He seems alright to me. He's protecting the city I love, why wouldn't I like him?"

"That's why I like him. He's doing what the police can't do."

"I didn't think of it that way."

"Now come eat." She smiled, setting two glasses of milk on the table. "You have a long night ahead of you, you need as much protein as you can." 

✭✦✭✦✭

Y/N held the dead succulent in her hand, narrowing her eyes as she tried to generate the power she had felt last night.

Nothing.

"What the hell!" She groaned in annoyance, tossing it into the garbage before she could try again.

The girl didn't understand why she could only heal living things. It frustrated her beyond belief. Her abilities were useless if she couldn't save someone on the verge of death. What if she needed too? She wouldn't be able to live with herself if someone she loved died again.

Y/N pushed herself off the floor and rolled to the other side of her room. The chair squeaked loudly underneath her as she reached for her other potted plant.

It was a pink rose bush that her father had gotten for her. It was beautiful, but had started to wither from lack of water. Theoretically, this should be no problem for Y/N. 

She focused, raising her hand just a few inches over the buds. She searched deep within and called. The warm feeling surged through her body and with the movements of her hand, she bent the roses at her will.

The girl practically screamed with glee, opening and closing her hand, watching as the buds did the same.

It was beautiful.

Almost instinctively, she decided to take it a step further, her heart pounding in her chest and she raised her hand up, demanding the rose bush to grow from within.

The stems gradually thickened, the branches growing longer. She watched in astonishment, but her patience thinned.

She forced the bush to grow faster, but as soon as she tried, a sharp pain seared through her abdomen.

Y/N winced, doubling over with a cry.

Her hands fell away from the plant, and the mendification process stopped. She was panting by then, holding the place where she felt the pain. It ceased as soon as she stopped, but it still frightened her. She'd never felt any pain because of her powers before. Was it possible she couldn't speed up time, only heal to its original state?

She gritted her teeth, hesitant to try again. It would have to wait for another time.

For now at least. But tonight, she had some business to take care of.

✭✦✭✦✭

Tag list! comment if you want to be added! part 3 will be coming in the next few days

@spn-assemble-seven​ @eridanuswave​ @fallisflame​ @used-avocado​ @pluckypete​ @vanillanestor​

#peter parker x reader #peter parker fanfiction #peter parker imagine #peter parker #tom holland x reader

[srbachchan]

DAY 4204

Jalsa, Mumbai                      Sept 9/10,  2019                 Mon/Tue 12:52 AM

Smita Ramesh Buch our Ef at the age of 59 ..  today 9th of Sep. got Married with Nitin Ji ..  our congratulations ..

The desire to be in communicate and give the required presence to the body of work that the body undertakes is beyond compare .. yet there comes a moment when the very reason becomes a hindrance beyond compare ..

So there be a lag ..

So there be less communicate ..

So there be limits of time ..

So ..

... a commendation to this great Champion .. PV Sindhu on becoming a World Champion ..  and a few concentrated conversations on knowing more about the game and her training .. her intense training programme ..

.. the rush then to the ‘gates of well wishers’ ..

.. and the Sunday like never before each Sunday .. the connect with several of the wishers and several of the Ef .. all of which through time constraints could not be accommodated .. here or there ..

.. and finally the blessings sought from the ‘BApPAA’ .. at the ritual each Ganapati at LalBagh .. the love of his blessings .. the fare of the fans and cutest of the cute at the prayer offering during the ‘aarti’ ..

... that little fellow needs to be seen and heard on a video visual .. it is so endearing that during the aarti I kept paying attention to him only ..

ADORABLE .. in his devotion .. !!🤗

.. and finally the entire day in the company of the contestants that bring so much learning and joy in the lives of those that they represent or play for ..

... and NO .. that is not my new Rolls Royce .. that is Ajay Devgn’s and Kaajol’s, the new RR SUV, stunning .. and she has most kindly sent it to me to use for the day, because she being a sports car enthusiast , I had sent across my Sports Porshe for her to drive around .. there are immense benefits in exchange of ideas especially when you have generous neighbours .. 🤪

They bring praise to me at the counter that is often named the ‘chair’ that conducts the millionaire show .. I am humbled .. but the true value sits on the ‘garam’ seat ahead .. for they bring to me and the entire world, the values of living in adverse conditions .. they bring to me the strength of their strong convictions of demanding success .. they bring to me the simplicity of their lives and the need to excel despite adverse circumstances .. 

NO .. it is I that am deeply obliged and honoured to be in their company, not the other way round .. I learn more than they know on the questions that they deal with and encounter .. it is most humbling .. and a moment filled with pride on their winnings .. they come with immense simplicity .. and walk away within an hour of immense pride and achievement .. this is the quality of the show, the strength of its repeated seasons year after year .. for the hopes it creates among them that feel deprived of it ..

It is a honour to be in the questioning of them .. and a greater honour when they defeat fear apprehension and the ‘computer ji’, to WIN .. !!

Love and more ..

Amitabh Bachchan

[cenfitto-v1]

seeing queer people outside of "queer spaces"** fills me with such immense joy honestly. just, queer people living their lives. queer people existing outside of a talking point, or a news article, or an argument for rights.

**as in the little boxes and categories that the media only ever seems to talk about us in

today i watched a video by by a guy who was taking the machinery from his prosthetic hand that senses the electrical signals telling it to move and hooking it up to his synth to make music using neural commands and that's already So Cool right? and then he mentions that his husband helped him out with making it and i ascended into nirvana.

it's just. sometimes it feels like queer people only exist in little bubbles, that maybe we don't exist in the real world because god knows i barely see any. but things like this? things like the two women walking down the sidewalk holding hands? like the boy in gym class saying he needs to get changed out of his binder? like the man enhancing his prosthetic arm casually mentioning his husband???? it's beautiful in it's simplicity. queer people existing. queer people living unashamed. it reminds me that i exist. that i'm here, and that i'm not alone, and that one day, maybe i'll have that too.

#ohhhh boy that got sappy #but really watching the video when the guy mentions his husband it finally properly struck me that yeah. #i DO have hope for the future after all #sorry for rant ehe

[kokobop-fire]

Gender Reveal {Im Jaebum}

Disclaimer: I don’t own any of the gifts that I use, also English is not my first language so sorry for any grammar mistakes.

Baby Bump

"Are you sure it's a boy?" Jessica asked you again when she saw all the blue clothes you had put in the shopping cart

"Of course, Jessica, I'm feeling it in my maternal instinct."

Precisely one week had passed since you talked to Jaebum; as soon as he left the coffee, JYP entertainment uploaded the statement clarifying the situation; you spoke twice to explain things about the appointment.

"I still don't get used to people following us everywhere." Jessica looks over her shoulder at the group of teenagers who had been following you around the store for half an hour.

"Me neither, but if Youngjae and Minseok's girlfriends were able to survive their pregnancy in the public light, me too."

"They are not single mothers and had the unconditional support of their partners" Jessica handed the clothes to the cashier. "You and he are not together."

"So?" You looked at her curiously. "I also have unconditional support; I have yours and my grandmother's. That's the most important thing, Jessica. I'm not stupid; we are just two strangers who are having a baby together."

"How do you know that the company is forcing him to do damage control?"

"For example, today he has a concert in Osaka, and he has been in Japan for four days; if he is interested in this, he will be with me today."

`` `` `` `` `` `` `` `` `` `` `` `` `` "I can't believe I'm going to have a boy," you smiled immensely. "I'm going to put him in swimming class and baseball."

"It would be hilarious if the baby is a girl and we had to get rid of the clothes you bought as a boy" you looked at her so mad "What? You know very well that it is a possibility."

"I'm going to have a boy, period" you kept using your cell phone until you heard Jessica dramatically sigh, "What happened?"

"Jungkook of BTS has just announced that he is a dad and that he is going to marry his girlfriend this fall" you looked at her, surprised "he just published a Golden Closet film about her girlfriend's pregnancy, that baby is so pretty" she muttered looking her phone.

"Do idols not have sex education classes?" You asked, "Doesn't matter that also applies to their partners who don't take care of themselves either."

°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°° You tried to forget the news of Jungkook or Youngjae or Minseok; all of them already had a relationship with the mother. Yours was casual sex without protection, and you know you are not the first, and you will not be the last; apart, they didn't have a public fight and a YouTube video fighting.

You sighed, trying to control the tears; even though Jaebum promised to be with you, you knew that would never happen; he was going to meet someone. He was going to start his family with her, and he was going to forget your baby, and a single mother's life was not something you imagined.

You left the elevator trying to control the panic attack and get your shit together.]

"You are late; it's almost 3" you jumped slightly when you heard Jaebum's voice next to the elevator,

"What are you doing here?" You asked surprised

"Going to the appointment with you," He answers as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"You are supposed to be preparing to give a concert in Japan."

"(Y / N) the concert was yesterday."

You looked surprised, "You told me the concert was the seven and today is seven."

"No, today is eight."

You quickly took out your cell phone, and indeed the date marked is seven. "Look, today is seven."

Jaebum looks at the phone "you also have your cell phone programmed for 2017."

"Oh no, then we missed our appointment, and also, I may have sold very doubtful seafood in the cafe."

You walked quickly to the secretary's desk. "Hi, I'm supposed to have an appointment for the seven with Dr. Choi, but my calendar was mixed, and I thought the appointment was for today. Is it possible she can attend me?"

"Sure, fill out this form and wait for the nurse to call you," he smiled slightly and continued writing on his computer.

"Thank you very much." Both sat in chairs away from the waiting area, people already know that Jaebum is going to have a baby, but that doesn't mean that you dent want some privacy

"Why were you surprised to see me?"

"Because I thought you were going to be at a concert in Japan."

"And what that has to do with this?" His tone surprised you; he was offended "if the concert had been today, I would have done my best to be with you today."

Your heart started beating louder because of the joy when you heard those words, "thank you."

"You don't have to thank me, whether I like it or not, that baby is also mine, and I have to be present in everything that revolves around his life" you smiled widely.

"Jeon (Y / N)," the nurse left the office, calling you.

"Ready to officially know that we are going to have a Boy?" You ask

"I will be happy just knowing that he is safe and sound."

°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°° "Everything is perfect, the baby has the right size and the right weight, I'm going to prescribe some folic acid pills since I notice it is low, you must be careful you have already gained 10 pounds and are not from the baby, and that can cause you diabetes to you and the baby" The doctor kept moving the mouse on the monitor screen, her words left you worried.

The look that Jaebum was giving you didn't help you, if you had noticed that you had gained weight, but assumed that were from the baby. "Do you want to know the sex of the baby?"

You looked at Jaebum, and he was already nodding quickly; unconsciously, you had taken his hand.

"You are going to have a beautiful girl."

"Really?" Jaebum asked excitedly, lightly squeezed your hand

"Yes"

Oh, Dammit, you wanted a Boy.

#kpop imagines #kpop fanfic #kpop fanfiction #got 7 scenarios #got7 imagines #got7 fanfic #jackson imagines #jinyoung imagines #youngjae imagines #mark imagines #bambam imagines #yugyeom imagines #im jaebum #jaebum #jb #im jaebum imagines #im jaebum fan #jaebum imagines #jaebum fluff #bskf

[mykolahv]

Popular Actor Mykola Havrylov’s Path as a Movie Star.

Mykola Havrylov is a Ukrainian actor known by his role as Alexander Bulajic in Spanish tv-series Angel o Demonio broadcasted by Telecinco.

Early life and acting background

Mykola began his acting career at the age of 16 where he first attended a performance art school in Ukraine.

Six months into his training at DYZ Mykolas family relocated to Barcelona, Spain. This was a very exciting time for Mykola, he was filled with anticipation for the opportunities that Spain had to offer, but was left with a lingering to reconnect with the Drama and Arts community he had become so immersed in.

After having arrived in Barcelona Mykola explains that the new country and surroundings changed his vision on his acting career for the future. He discovered that there is a large professional acting industry in Spain and that it was the perfect environment to bring his acting career to a new level. His first acting experience in Barcelona was a short video with ESCAC student, Kevin Nasarre Krols. The video the pair shot was an imitation from the movie La Haine. This experience set a new level of determination in the young actor’s mind of what he wanted to achieve. He remembers:

“I remember as if it were today. I was driving home at night after filming feeling euphoric. That moment of joy and passion lead me to decide that I was going to dedicate my life to being an actor. Each day from that point on I began looking for an agent to boost my opportunity to find professional jobs. I wanted to find my place and to make connections with those in the acting community ”.

When asked of his own favorite actors, Mykola did not put forth any specific names, justifying that there is an immense range of talented actors and actresses each with their own niche, and that focusing specifically on one or two names alone, would make you miss the talent of new and upcoming. He states:

“There are many great actors and film directors in the industry these days. Each of them is offering a new, fresh approach to the film industry and it is extraordinary to watch.”

Education

After graduating at the age of 18 from Spanish Baccalaureate and passing the University exams, Mykola had the time and skills to follow his passion for acting.

Mykola enrolled at the Art Dramatics in CECC ( Centre d'Estudis Cinematogràfics de Catalunya) and graduates at the age of 19 as the most outstanding student in his group.

Mykolas teachers during his time at Art Dramatics were Boyan Ivic, Daniela de Vecchi, Laura Jou, and Gerard Oms.

Career

Mykola is well known for his role of Alexander Bulajic in Spanish tv-series Angel o Demonio broadcasted by Telecinco. The role opened doors into the professional world of acting after receiving positive reviews from the audience and critics.

Collaboration with Ernest Desumbila

Leading on from his success in Angel o Demonio Mykola went on to feature in Ernest Desumbila’s movie Blood Metal Revenge. The movie was presented in Sitges Film Festival receiving extremely positive reviews.

Mykola and Ernest met while shooting an advertisement for Haribo.

Since then they collaborated on many projects together.

Upcoming projects

Mykola is currently working on writing a range of his own screenplays.

His current project is a masterpiece looking into the life of Peter Doherty during the peak of his musical career and relationship with Supermodel Kate Moss.

Once his first screenplay is complete, Mykola plans to write a screenplay based on Perestroika, during the time of social and political change of post Soviet countries in the early 90s’.

Both of the projects have pre-agreement with the mainstreaming services.

Personal life

Since September 2019 Mykola is engaged to New Zealander blogger Alicia Lowe. The couple lives since in Queenstown, New Zealand.

[hcmj]

HCMJ’s Favorite Albums of 2019!

Listen to a mix featuring these albums here: HCMJ’s 2019 End Of Year Mix

Other Favorites:

David Bruce - The North Wind Was a Woman

galen tipton - fake meat

upusen - Highland Ave.

BLACKPINK - Kill This Love

Starkey - Earth EP

Lamp - ‘A Distant Shore’ Asia Tour 2018

AWITW - Ｓｈｅ Ｗａｌｋ Ａｌｏｎｅ う者姻

Seaketa - Gion ぎおん

SNJO - Diamond

BONNEVILLE - AFFORDABLE LUXURY

20) Gareth Davis & Scanner - Footfalls

I first found the experimental composition/clarinet music of Gareth Davis in the early 2010′s during my initial dive into the Miasmah catalog. Teamed up here with another electronic musician/clarinetist, Footfalls uses long, poetic waves of deep woodwinds and synth improv to describe hauntingly desolate environments. It only seems fitting to start the list with one of many bookends on a decade in the grim, cold grey of Philadelphia.

BANDCAMP | APPLE MUSIC | SPOTIFY

19) Barker - Utility

Arp and delay-driven rhythmic expression that recalls late-era Kraftwerk, building a pristine sci-fi future with ear-pleasing, rich, and laser-sharp production. Like disembodied trance or house music searching for a strong beat that never comes, Utility is absolute, skillfully-stated synth pleasure.

BANDCAMP | APPLE MUSIC | SPOTIFY

18) Sean McCann/Seth Graham w/Kymatic Ensemble  - Split Series Vol. IV

Seth Graham’s Gasp was a big favorite in 2018, here condensed and re-imagined for chamber ensemble. Sean McCann’s “Vilon” finds a blissful middle-ground between electronic ambient music and traditional western instrumentation, like a poignant hymn sung somewhere far away, while the new “Gasp” arrangements are full of expressiveness and surprises.

BANDCAMP

17) 猫 シ Corp. & t e l e p a t h - Building a Better World

Deep bass pulses and distant rain welcome us to a familiar comfortable place, but as the unmistakable sound and melodic freedom of telepath’s original synth work bends its way over rolling toms in the reverb-soaked hifi opener, it becomes clear that this album is something new and special. Full-on new age drenched in an endless downpour, it’s a huge and beautiful world that’s blissful to be lost in.

BANDCAMP | APPLE MUSIC | SPOTIFY

16) Various Artists - Oneironaut

Another rare case of a compilation that is actually worth listening to, Japanese indie powerhouse Local Visions assembles the best talent from the sax-loving, jazz-infused, post-vaporwave electronic underworld of Japan and beyond in the indomitable Oneironaut comp. Notable contributions from Utsuro Spark, upusen, Tsudio Studio, tamao ninomiya, and countless others deliver a hazy daydream.

BANDCAMP

15) wai wai music resort - WWMR 1

Also from Local Visions comes this special collection of tracks caught somewhere between “lost LP found in a record crate” and “bedroom 4-track” - two distinct lofi flavors that mysteriously meld seamlessly on WWMR 1. It sounds new and old, youthful and mature, and full of affection for love and the music it references.

BANDCAMP | SPOTIFY

14) EXID - Me & You

There’s something about this mini-album, a Christmas time snowy nostalgia as the sun sets on another chapter of life (and era of kpop) in tracks like “나의밤” and “WE ARE..,” the Jamiroquai funk of “내일해 (Urban Mix),” or club igniting title track - EXID may never exist in this form or at this level again, and like so many of my favorites this year it reflects the recent history of its genre brilliantly.

APPLE MUSIC | SPOTIFY

13) Fire-Toolz - Field Whispers (Into the Crystal Palace)

Field Whispers is the stunning next step in the evolution of Fire-Toolz that feels completely at home on the finely-curated Orange Milk. Extended sax-soaked dreams collide with splinters of music jumbled and broken, elegant and disjointed, all bouncing off each other while still leaving room for moments of soaring guitar and dreamy synth pads.

BANDCAMP | APPLE MUSIC | SPOTIFY

12) Hakobune - The Last of Our Time Together

With over 50 releases (4 just this year!), Hakobune’s discography can seem like an impenetrable wall of ambience, but like classics Seamless and Here and Love Knows Where, The Last of Our Time Together stands out - monumental and multi-dimensional - a slow dance skidding along the frozen surface of an endlessly deep, rich sea of emotion.

BANDCAMP | APPLE MUSIC | SPOTIFY

11) FM Skyline - Advanced Memory Suite

As nostalgic electronic music continues to evolve and find itself elevated in the hands of increasingly-focused musicians, FM Skyline delivers a joyful retrospective on a decade that gave new life to so many old sounds. Exploring the inner recesses of our memory and delusion, Advanced Memory Suite turns the page on a decade of chillwave/synthwave/vaporwave/whateverwave. It’s a hypnotic monument to the modern renaissance.  

BANDCAMP | APPLE MUSIC | SPOTIFY

10) emamouse - Black place on the edge

It was a huge year from the prolific Tokyo-based visual artist and musician emamouse, whose non-stop creative output continues to challenge the very nature of reality. Black place on the edge was a standout favorite this year, layered and mysterious - incidental music for the surreal dreamworld described in mou’s most unnerving illustrations. Like waking up and finding yourself trapped inside Quest 64.

BANDCAMP

09) Koeosaeme - Obanikeshi

My favorite Orange Milk release of the year, Koeosaeme delivers another absolute hurricane of hyper-detailed, sensory-extreme, buckshot-to-the-face arrangements. The sheer amount of data on this album is staggering, with more musical information packed into a few minutes of its blissful chaos than most full length albums combined.

BANDCAMP | APPLE MUSIC | SPOTIFY

08) Jaeho Hwang - Non-self 비자아

I was super fortunate to play a show with Jaeho Hwang in Tokyo during this year’s Neo Gaia Phantasy tour - his immense set started so intensely it’s as if the entire room was cast under a shamanistic spell, hypnotized by percussive expressionism, drawn to the light of digitally melting faces and occult rituals playing out on the screen behind him. Non-self 비자아 is without mercy and full of powerful and primal energy.

BANDCAMP | APPLE MUSIC | SPOTIFY

07) Weyes Blood - Titanic Rising

Natalie Mering’s subtly expressive, velvety voice on its own is enough to make anything she touches turn to gold, but her songwriting is so masterfully dialed in on Titanic Rising it’s as if Harry Nilsson came back from the dead to write a new volume of pop rock ballads to get us through the next 50 years. It’s an album dripping with love for all the best parts of the 1970′s (Stardust-era Willie Nelson, early ELO, “Lost Weekend” Lennon and friends, etc), but also showcases the compositional chops to match and sometimes surpass its musical lineage (e.g. “Picture Me Better”).

BANDCAMP | APPLE MUSIC | SPOTIFY

06) Monari Wakita - RIGHT HERE

Off the heals of last year’s jaw-dropping Ahead!, ex-Especia Monari Wakita continues to defy modern conventions while asserting herself as one of the most powerful female voices in jpop. “エスパドリーユでつかまえて” sounds like Hitomitoi when she was a rising star, FRIEND IN NEED continues the new jack swing flirting, “やさしい嘘” sounds like it’s begging to be sampled by a future funk artist, and the lead-off single “Just a Crush for Today” is somewhere in a stop-and-go freefall between Billy Joel and Sonic R.

VIDEO 1 | VIDEO 2

05) Yeule - Serotonin II

Beneath the subtle power and diffusion of a voice like an extra-dimensional Julee Cruise, Serotonin II’s beautifully bleak paintings of the world it carefully constructs are reflective of Yeule’s transcendence into the artist’s next form. Crumbling brutalism under a blinding white sky, aliens in a graveyard - the romance of eternal torment in the spiral - all in dark room illuminated by a computer monitor sometime in the 00′s.

BANDCAMP | APPLE MUSIC | SPOTIFY

04) The Caretaker - Everywhere at the End of Time - Stage 6

The final release for this multi-year project, capturing a mind being lost to dementia, also marks the end of Leyland Kirby’s multi-decade spanning Caretaker project - a project that has had an immense impact on my perception of the limitlessness of music. Now completed, Everywhere at the End of Time towers as a 50 track, 6.5 hour journey from dreamy lucidity to terrifying confusion and darkness.

BANDCAMP

03) Tsudio Studio - Soda Resort Journey

Tsudio Studio brings a contemporary frame to leisure fantasy. Instant classics “Kiss in KIX,” “Asian Coke Light,” and “Like a Ruin” expand on the electro-bossa pop of Port Island, while surprises like “Beijing Cat” expand and explore new worlds of sound. One perfect chord after another, from start to finish, Soda Resort Journey is bubbly and delicious to listen to. Play it looped, close your eyes, be where you’d rather be.

BANDCAMP | APPLE MUSIC | SPOTIFY

02) Minuano - Butterfly Dream

Lamp vocalist Kaori Sakakibara’s side project Minuano is like some mutant variant of Lamp - equally complex while slightly less disorienting arrangements (although there are a few re-worked Lamp classics on here), tighter pop sound, stunningly immaculate vocal production - all while maintaining the unique orchestral jazz pop that makes both bands such a euphoric joy to listen to. “Memory of Soda Pop” was my favorite track released by anyone this year.

BANDCAMP

01) EQUIP - CURSEBREAKER X

This was the year of EQUIP. No better story for this year, no better sound than CURSEBREAKER X - the songs from this album will always bring back a thousand memories of smoke-filled clubs, dark forests, and snow-capped mountains from across Japan - the building promise of absolute freedom and a happier tomorrow as we all lived the Neo Gaia Phantasy.. But even without my personal connection to the music, the hardware-driven “perfect sound” VGM and EQUIP’s signature cassette tape destruction has never been better balanced than it is here - it’s loud, and filled with unforgettable melodies and unknown lands. It’s monumental and iconic and will stand the test of time and it was my favorite album of 2019!

BANDCAMP | APPLE MUSIC | SPOTIFY

#vaporwave #nuwrld #haunted ballroom #orange milk #chinabot #100% electronica #jpop #kpop #year end #2019