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sneakydraws · 1 year

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i wanna see fifty five goldfinch pieces 💔💔

OKAY!! So I have this little series I like to call the great decompartmentalisation of Theo decker... Let me walk you through it. I promise there's art after the massive paragraph of meandering analysis alright

You know how Theo's life is segmented into these distinct episodes? And how he himself is split into multiple different identities, and how much shame and fear there is associated with the idea of those identities mixing? For example: the straight a student living a completely, delusionally idyllic life with his adoring mother and the vanilla teenage troublemaker breaking into people's summer homes with his shady homoerotic bestie. When the two identities come into contact via his suspension, it leads to the most traumatic event in Theo's life, and honestly I suspect that might be the origin of this tendency towards compartmentalisation... I could go through the whole book here but the most prominent examples are Theo panicking at the thought of Mrs Barbour or his therapist finding out about Hobie, his cutting himself off from New York when in Vegas with his other shady homoerotic bestie (the amount of times Vegas is compared to an alien planet...) and his dual post timeskip identifies of charming antiques salesman/fraudulent art stealing junkie. And this often manifests in Theo's reluctance to let people from his different periods interact - see him rushing to stop Boris from talking to Pippa, and him keeping Hobie in the dark about the blackmail, and isn't it kind of weird that the barbours - Theo's soon to be legal family - don't really interact with Hobie and Pippa? Anyway. Basically I thought it would be cool to make a series of little vignettes of theo allowing the people and places and things that represent various versions of Him to interact and thus symbolically healing the disconnected parts of himself... Or something. I have more ideas scribbled down but somehow the only ones I ended up with proper art for is the various holidays (which, holidays are also a weirdly prevalent theme in tgf? Idk whats up with that but it's a good tool for this purpose) so we have:

Christmas Eve at Boris's, featuring Pippa and Hobie - I feel kinda bad for only ever portraying Boris with polish customs but let's be real I'm just using him to show off my own heritage lol. In Poland the main Xmas celebrations happen on Xmas Eve, traditionally with the appearance of the first star in the sky. You eat the mostly inoffensive barszcz as well some truly vile shit, such as mushroom and cabbage dumplings, mushroom and cabbage salad, other items made of mushrooms and cabbage, and finally the most disgusting dish of my life: Jewish style carp. No, it's not quite the same thing as gefiltefish, although that's the Wikipedia page you might use to get to the actual dish. All washed down with compote which I hate. You also break and eat communion wafers while wishing each other stuff, which Pippa is doing with popchyk here hehe

Christmas breakfast as a little bonus despite it not having much of a tradition - I associate it with lots of hams/cured meats, gherkins and maybe Tatar sauce (yum). Much superior to the Xmas dinner imho. Really I just wanted Theo and Boris to have a moment to themselves haha

Christmas proper at the barbours, featuring Boris and Tom cable! I could talk about all the tension and who's diffusing it but honestly I think y'all can draw your own conclusions lol. I just think it would be really funny for the infamous dis-engaged couple to each bring their delinquent boytoys and for Boris the drug dealer to actually come out looking superior

Vegetarian friendly Thanksgiving at Hobie's, as tradition requires! I think he'd love to throw one of his big Thanksgiving parties purely for all of Theo's families to get to know each other... you know, kind of an elaboration on that Thanksgiving illustration I drew a while back! This would be before all the Christmases I think. Boris is winning Mrs Barbour over with his roguish charm lol I think old ladies would like him... Theo in the corner freaking the hell out as per this project's mission statement lmao

And on a slightly different note I wanted Theo Pippa and Hobie to all visit weltys grave. I'm borrowing slightly from the polish tradition of all saint's day, when you clean, decorate and light candles on the graves of loved ones.

#the goldfinch #theodore decker #pippa blackwell #james hobart #boris pavlikovsky #kitsey barbour #samantha barbour #platt barbour #toddy barbour #popchyk #featuring: toddy as the eternal peacekeeper and also mrs Barbours dogs #whose breeds i cant be bothered to check lol #boreo #tom cable #ask #anonymous

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sparklygraves · 1 year

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what if Boris followed Theo, but he went to the Barbours?

at first they are horrified by this homeless kid, but when he says who he’s looking for, they relent & let him in.

Andy doesn’t know what to make of Boris, but he likes that he also doesn’t fit in with his fancy, put-together family. Boris for his part is excited to meet this character from Theo’s life & he also just finds Andy robotically delightful. he knows everything & where are his emotions?? Boris cackles fondly at Andy & dubs him --- ((dang I can’t think of a nickname-- can you? :D))

Kitsey & Toddy are like OOOO another stray!! & like, what the heck?? THIS is who Theo has been hanging out with?? what has his life been since he left New York?? they picture him living under bridges in the desert & begging for loose change with his... boyfriend??

It’s bad timing since Mr. Barbour is having a roughh mental health time (but, small mercies, Platt is away at college), so Mrs. Barbour is already pretty frazzled & overwhelmed, but she is sucked in by this charming urchin. & my lord! poor Theo’s father is DEAD?! & where is that dear sweet lamb of a child anyway?? wandering the streets alone, freezing to death on some bench in Central Park?

no-- Boris has an idea of where he might be-- thank goodness!

they end up finding him at Hobie’s. & that’s how Boris unites Theo not only with himself, but also the Barbours-- waaay earlier than he otherwise would have!

#tgf #the goldfinch #i dunno why i just like thinking about these tgf what ifs #:)#boreo

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locke-writes · 2 years

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they sprout among the peonies - Michael Anania

Fruit Salad - Tom Cardy

The Violet Hour - Sea Wolf

Simple Little Things - Audra McDonald

3 Small Words - Josie and the Pussycats

The Proposal - Marla Schaffel & James Barbour

Love, Me Normally - Will Wood

If It Makes You Happy - Michael Cera Palin

Come Along - Cosmo Sheldrake

when i’m at therapy - The Blue Dinosaur

Tardigrade Song - Cosmo Sheldrake

Boyfriend - Dove Cameron

Jigsaw - Conan Gray

Spy Again - Curt Mega

Celebrate the Reckless - MAGIC GIANT

The Railroad - Goodnight, Texas

Me Myself & I - 5 Seconds of Summer

Fever Dreams - Dio

History - BONNIE PARKER

Hey Love - The Daughters of Eve

Greek God - Conan Gray

Cubs in Five - The Mountain Goats

It’s Cool - First in Flight

Welcome to the Family - Avenged Sevenfold

Kiss Me - Sixpence None the Richer

What’s Up? - 4 Non Blondes

There She Goes - The La’s

There She Goes - Sixpence None the Richer

I Don’t Want to Wait - Paula Cole

She’s So High - Tai Bachman

Tom’s Diner - Suzanne Vega & DNA

Mr Jones - Counting Crows

Crash Into Me - Dave Matthews Band

Collide - Howie Day

Lovefool - The Cardigans

Barely Breathing - Duncan Sheik

3AM - Matchbox Twenty

I Hate Everything About You - Three Days Grace

Still Ill - The Smiths

Somewhere Out There - Philip Glasser & Betsy Cathcart

My Eyes - Neil Patrick Harris & Felicia Day

The Starry Night - Starry Original Cast

Finale - Anastasia Original Broadway Cast

Keys of Life - Klaus Nomi

A Duo - Philip Glasser & Dom De Louise

It’s DeLovely - Ella Fitzgerald

Kids In America - The Muffs

867-5309/Jenny - Tommy Tutone

Fake - Oxford Remedy

Flowers Never Bend After the Rainfall - Simon & Garfunkel

You’re Dead - Norma Tanega

Nevermind - Deaf Havana

The Bad Thing - The Mysterines

If I Fail You - Dylan Saunders

Vampire Money - My Chemical Romance

Poisoning Pigeons in the Park - Tom Lehrer

Viva Las Vengeance - Panic! At the Disco

Holidays in the Sun - Sex Pistols

Let It Out - The Guy Who Didn’t Like Musicals Cast

Inner White Girl - A Strange Loop Cast

I Love You (As Much As Someone Like Me Could Love Anyone) - Galavant Cast

Pretend to Be Nice - Josie and the Pussycats

Teenage Demon Baby - Foxy Shazam

Flightless Bird, American Mouth - Iron & Wine

When We’re Older - James Blake

Washing Machine Heart - Mitski

You Don’t Own Me - Klaus Nomi

Lightning Strikes - Klaus Nomi

Crying Is Cool - The Sonder Bombs

Redwood Reverie - Plas Teg

Go Home. Play Music. Feel Better - Michael Cera Palin

Lemon Lime Lips - Naethan Apollo

Seventeen - MARINA

Totally Fucked - Spring Awakening Cast

Along the Way - The Hunts

Istanbul (Not Constantinople) - The Four Lads

Ballroom Blitz - Sweet

Davy Crochet - The Backseat Lovers

Mother Mary - Foxboro Hottubs

Soup is Good Food - Dead Kennedys

Valentine - The Hunts

This Time Tomorrow - Brandi Carlile

Sofia - Clairo

Oh Ana - Mother Mother

Kill the Sun - Motherfolk

One Step Ahead - Joey Richter & Curt Mega

Your Stupid Face - Kaden MacKay

This Side of Me - Toddy Walters

i had gay sex with god (it could’ve gone better) - Juno Lev

Listen on Spotify

#spotify playlist #monthly playlist #june playlist

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oopmily · 4 years

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why is grownup toddy kind of cute tho

#the goldfinch #tgf #toddy barbour

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henry-marchbanks · 5 years

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the barbours lived on park avenue. andy had been my best friend since third grade.

#platt barbour #andy barbour #kitsey barbour #toddy barbour #chance barbour #samantha barbour #the goldfinch #tgfedit #edit

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boreothegoldfinch · 3 years

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chapter 12 paragraph viii

Only here’s what I really, really want someone to explain to me. What if one happens to be possessed of a heart that can’t be trusted—? What if the heart, for its own unfathomable reasons, leads one willfully and in a cloud of unspeakable radiance away from health, domesticity, civic responsibility and strong social connections and all the blandly-held common virtues and instead straight towards a beautiful flare of ruin, self-immolation, disaster? Is Kitsey right? If your deepest self is singing and coaxing you straight toward the bonfire, is it better to turn away? Stop your ears with wax? Ignore all the perverse glory your heart is screaming at you? Set yourself on the course that will lead you dutifully towards the norm, reasonable hours and regular medical check-ups, stable relationships and steady career advancement, the New York Times and brunch on Sunday, all with the promise of being somehow a better person? Or—like Boris—is it better to throw yourself head first and laughing into the holy rage calling your name? It’s not about outward appearances but inward significance. A grandeur in the world, but not of the world, a grandeur that the world doesn’t understand. That first glimpse of pure otherness, in whose presence you bloom out and out and out. A self one does not want. A heart one cannot help. Though my engagement isn’t off, not officially anyway, I’ve been given to understand—gracefully, in the lighter-than-air manner of the Barbours—that no one is holding me to anything. Which is perfect. Nothing’s been said and nothing is said. When I’m invited for dinner (as I am, often, when I’m in town) it’s all very pleasant and light, voluble even, intimate and subtle while not at all personal; I’m treated like a family member (almost), welcome to turn up when I want; I’ve been able to coax Mrs. Barbour out of the apartment a bit, we’ve had some pleasant afternoons out, lunch at the Pierre and an auction or two; and Toddy, without being impolitic in the least, has even managed to let casually and almost accidentally drop the name of a very good doctor, with no suggestion whatever that I might possibly need such a thing.

[As for Pippa: though she took the Oz book, she left the necklace, along with a letter I opened so eagerly I literally ripped through the envelope and tore it in half. The gist—once I got on my knees and fit the pieces together— was this: she’d loved seeing me, our time in the city had meant a lot to her, who in the world could have picked such a beautiful necklace for her? it was perfect, more than perfect, only she couldn’t accept it, it was much too much, she was sorry, and—maybe she was speaking out of turn, and if so she hoped I forgave her, but I shouldn’t think she didn’t love me back, because she did, she did. (You do? I thought, bewildered.) Only it was complicated, she wasn’t thinking only of herself but me too, since we’d both been through so many of the same things, she and I, and we were an awful lot alike—too much. And because we’d both been hurt so badly, so early on, in violent and irremediable ways that most people didn’t, and couldn’t, understand, wasn’t it a bit… precarious? A matter of self-preservation? Two rickety and death-driven persons who would need to lean on each other quite so much? not to say she wasn’t doing well at the moment, because she was, but all that could change in a flash with either of us, couldn’t it? the reversal, the sharp downward slide, and wasn’t that the danger? since our flaws and weaknesses were so much the same, and one of us could bring the other down way too quick? and though this was left to float in the air a bit, I realized instantly, and with some considerable astonishment, what she was getting at. (Dumb of me not to have seen it earlier, after all the injuries, the crushed leg, the multiple surgeries; adorable drag in the voice, adorable drag in the step, the arm-hugging and the pallor, the scarves and sweaters and multiple layers of clothes, slow drowsy smile: she herself, the dreamy childhood her, was sublimity and disaster, the morphine lollipop I’d chased for all those years.)

But, as the reader of this will have ascertained (if there ever is a reader) the idea of being Dragged Down holds no terror for me. Not that I care to drag anyone else down with me, but—can’t I change? Can’t I be the strong one? Why not?] [You can have either of those girls you want, said Boris, sitting on the sofa with me in his loft in Antwerp, cracking pistachios between his rear molars as we were watching Kill Bill. No, I can’t. And why can’t you? I’d pick Snowflake myself. But if you want the other, why not? Because she has a boyfriend? So? said Boris. Who lives with her? So? And here’s what I’m thinking too: So? What if I go to London? So? And this is either a completely disastrous question or the most sensible one I’ve ever asked in all my life.] [That little guy, said Boris in the car on the way to Antwerp. You know the painter saw him—he wasn’t painting that bird from his mind, you know? That’s a real little guy, chained up on the wall, there. If I saw him mixed up with dozen other birds all the same kind, I could pick him out, no problem.] And he’s right. So could I. And if I could go back in time I’d clip the chain in a heartbeat and never care a minute that the picture was never painted. To try to make some meaning out of all this seems unbelievably quaint. Maybe I only see a pattern because I’ve been staring too long. But then again, to paraphrase Boris, maybe I see a pattern because it’s there. [Do you ever think about quitting? I asked, during the boring part of It’s a Wonderful Life, the moonlight walk with Donna Reed, when I was in Antwerp watching Boris with spoon and water from an eyedropper, mixing himself what he called a “pop.” Give me a break! My arm hurts! He’d already shown me the bloody skid mark—black at the edges—cutting deep into his bicep. You get shot at Christmas and see if you want to sit around swallowing aspirin! Yeah, but you’re crazy to do it like that. Well—believe it or not—for me not so much a problem. I only do it special occasions. I’ve heard that before. Well, is true! Still a chipper, for now. I’ve known of people chipped three-four years and been ok, long as they kept it down to two-three times a month? That said, Boris added somberly—blue movie light glinting off the teaspoon —I am alcoholic. Damage is done, there. I’m a drunk till I die. If anything kills me—nodding at the Russian Standard bottle on the coffee table—that’ll be it. Say you never shot before? Believe me, I had problems enough the other way. Well, big stigma and fear, I understand. Me—honest, I prefer to sniff most times—clubs, restaurants, out and about, quicker and easier just to duck in men’s room and do a quick bump. This way—always you crave it. On my death bed I will crave it. Better never to pick it up. Although—really very irritating to see some bone head sitting there smoking out of a crack pipe and make some pronouncement about how dirty and unsafe, they would never use a needle, you know? Like they are so much more sensible than you? Why did you start? Why does anyone? My girl left me! Girl at the time. Wanted to be all bad and self-destructive, hah. Got my wish. Jimmy Stewart in his varsity sweater. Silvery moon, quavery voices. Buffalo Gals won’t you come out tonight, come out tonight. So, why not stop then? I said. Why should I? Do I really have to say why? Yeah, but what if I don’t feel like it? If you can stop, why wouldn’t you? Live by the sword, die by the sword, said Boris briskly, hitting the button on his very professional-looking medical tourniquet with his chin as he was pushing up his sleeve.]

And as terrible as this is, I get it. We can’t choose what we want and don’t want and that’s the hard lonely truth. Sometimes we want what we want even if we know it’s going to kill us. We can’t escape who we are. (One thing I’ll have to say for my dad: at least he tried to want the sensible thing—my mother, the briefcase, me—before he completely went berserk and ran away from it.) And as much as I’d like to believe there’s a truth beyond illusion, I’ve come to believe that there’s no truth beyond illusion. Because, between ‘reality’ on the one hand, and the point where the mind strikes reality, there’s a middle zone, a rainbow edge where beauty comes into being, where two very different surfaces mingle and blur to provide what life does not: and this is the space where all art exists, and all magic. And—I would argue as well—all love. Or, perhaps more accurately, this middle zone illustrates the fundamental discrepancy of love. Viewed close: a freckled hand against a black coat, an origami frog tipped over on its side. Step away, and the illusion snaps in again: life-more-than-life, never-dying. Pippa herself is the play between those things, both love and not-love, there and not-there. Photographs on the wall, a balled-up sock under the sofa. The moment where I reached to brush a piece of fluff from her hair and she laughed and ducked at my touch. And just as music is the space between notes, just as the stars are beautiful because of the space between them, just as the sun strikes raindrops at a certain angle and throws a prism of color across the sky—so the space where I exist, and want to keep existing, and to be quite frank I hope I die in, is exactly this middle distance: where despair struck pure otherness and created something sublime.

And that’s why I’ve chosen to write these pages as I’ve written them. For only by stepping into the middle zone, the polychrome edge between truth and untruth, is it tolerable to be here and writing this at all. Whatever teaches us to talk to ourselves is important: whatever teaches us to sing ourselves out of despair. But the painting has also taught me that we can speak to each other across time. And I feel I have something very serious and urgent to say to you, my non-existent reader, and I feel I should say it as urgently as if I were standing in the room with you. That life—whatever else it is—is short. That fate is cruel but maybe not random. That Nature (meaning Death) always wins but that doesn’t mean we have to bow and grovel to it. That maybe even if we’re not always so glad to be here, it’s our task to immerse ourselves anyway: wade straight through it, right through the cesspool, while keeping eyes and hearts open. And in the midst of our dying, as we rise from the organic and sink back ignominiously into the organic, it is a glory and a privilege to love what Death doesn’t touch. For if disaster and oblivion have followed this painting down through time—so too has love. Insofar as it is immortal (and it is) I have a small, bright, immutable part in that immortality. It exists; and it keeps on existing. And I add my own love to the history of people who have loved beautiful things, and looked out for them, and pulled them from the fire, and sought them when they were lost, and tried to preserve them and save them while passing them along literally from hand to hand, singing out brilliantly from the wreck of time to the next generation of lovers, and the next.

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nastyelf · 5 years

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A fast sketch of some of Barbour’s children: little Andy and adult Kitsey and Toddy.

#the goldfinch #donna tartt #my art #pencil

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expression-in-its-essence · 5 years

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If that's Mrs Barbour and that's Larry and Theo, then those little'uns must be Toddy and Kitsey.

Now imagine these two decide to get married in the future for the sole reason of using each other. Wow.

#the goldfinch #theo decker #donna tartt #kitsey barbour

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hottytoddynews · 7 years

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It is great to be back into the swing of things with the start of our spring semester! Our campuses are always transformed and re-energized with the return of our students and faculty. It is also a new calendar year, which offers a great opportunity to take stock and reflect upon the previous year, as well as share some thoughts about all we have to look forward to in the coming months.

As we start the new year, we have so much to be grateful for, and I want to express my deepest thanks to the entire Ole Miss family for all you do to enable the success of our university. The year 2016 was a seminal one in the life of the University of Mississippi … and for Sharon and me personally: It marked our first year as Ole Miss Rebels! It doesn’t get any better than that! As Mississippi’s flagship university, we celebrated some amazing accomplishments by our faculty, staff, students, and friends — so many accomplishments, in fact, that I would need a separate blog to list them all! Instead, I encourage you to see a snapshot of 2016 highlights at the end of this one.

So how do we go about ensuring that we capitalize on our momentum and continue this journey to achieve ever greater heights? In case you missed it, I outlined several new initiatives during my investiture address to further our upward trajectory. I’m here to tell you that I think 2017 will be as exciting and successful as 2016. Put your seat belts on — it’s going to be a fun ride!

First, we are committed over the coming years to growing our endowment from $600 million to more than $1 billion to support the development, retention, and engagement of our highly talented faculty, staff, and students. This commitment includes an athletics endowment to build a resource base to sustain competitive excellence. The University of Mississippi — stretching across our Oxford campus, Medical Center in Jackson, and regional campuses around the state — is a $2.5 billion enterprise, and we must generate slightly more than 88 percent of our operating revenue from sources other than state appropriations. We rely on state funds and tuition across all our campuses as a crucial revenue source; they fund the running of a major comprehensive educational enterprise.

We look increasingly to philanthropy to give us the competitive edge that enhances the flagship experience and sets Ole Miss apart, such as the Sally M. Barksdale Honors College, the Haley Barbour Center for Manufacturing Excellence, the Trent Lott Leadership Institute, the Croft Institute for International Studies, and the McLean Institute for Public Service and Community Engagement. Our endowment must be a priority if we are to enhance our flagship status and academic excellence while also ensuring access and affordability.

We will also develop a Cultural Gateway — anchored by one of the gems of our Oxford campus, the Gertrude C. Ford Center for the Performing Arts — to draw together and celebrate our arts and cultural programs. This space will create performance, experiential learning, and enrichment opportunities for our community and our region.

Another initiative I shared at the investiture involves our role in building healthy and vibrant communities. We will channel the talents of our entire university and partner with towns and cities around the state — one at a time — to enhance every aspect of community life. The needs in Mississippi’s communities are great, and we will collaborate with them on joint projects harnessing the full range of university expertise — from medicine and population health to policy and law, science and engineering, business and entrepreneurship, education, arts, and culture.

Finally, let me elaborate on the launch of the Flagship Constellations Initiative, which is quickly coming to fruition. Simply put, our goal with this initiative is to accelerate and inspire solutions to some of society’s grand challenges that the University of Mississippi and its partners can play a major role in addressing. We will form innovative, multidisciplinary research and creative achievement clusters — called Flagship Constellations — of faculty, staff, students, alumni, and external partners. I see the Flagship Constellations as an avenue for us to excel by attracting stellar personnel to Ole Miss to work with the incredible talent we already have in place — bringing together people and ideas in fresh and unique ways with great potential for added achievements, increased grant funding, scholarly visibility, and international prominence.

We recently held kickoff town hall meetings about the Flagship Constellations on our Medical Center and Oxford campuses, attracting more than 300 people. In keeping with the celestial analogies, I would describe the energy at these meetings as truly electric and say that our atmosphere of innovation is charged for amazing outcomes! Stay tuned. We will announce our initial Flagship Constellations later this spring. You can find information about the process and status online.

I encourage you to keep up with the exciting developments at our university. I have an open door policy and encourage your input. You can always reach me at [email protected]. Thank you for all your efforts for advancing our flagship role as a great public international research university.

Hotty Toddy!

– – Jeff

2016 Snapshot

We achieved Carnegie R1 Highest Research Activity status. UM is the only R1 institution in the state and is among the top 2.5% higher education institutions in the U.S.

We welcomed our largest-ever freshman class (3,982) with the highest-ever ACT (25.2) and GPA (3.57).

We have the largest overall enrollment (24,250) and highest retention rate in the state.

We hit an all-time new record with philanthropic giving when we topped $100 million for the 5th year in a row.

We commemorated the naming of our newest health science school, the John D. Bower School of Population Health — the seventh school at the UM Medical Center campus and only the third of its kind in the country.

We were named one of the nation’s top schools for military programs and educational opportunities for veterans (for the fourth straight year!), by Military Advanced Education and Transition’s 2017 Guide to Colleges and Universities.

We hosted Undersecretary Ted Mitchell of the U.S. Department of Education as part of their Back-To-School Bus Tour to highlight our diversity and inclusion efforts.

We held our first-ever universitywide Town Hall that resulted in over 500 ideas that will help guide us in our strategic planning, which is picking up steam this semester.

We also held a number of powerful events, such as the CEO Technology Summit and the Innovation and Entrepreneurship Panel, that demonstrate our commitment to address the needs of today’s global workplace and to foster an environment of innovation and creativity.

And we celebrated a fun investiture, which formally installed me as 17th chancellor of this great flagship university.

For questions or comments, email [email protected].

The post Letter From The Chancellor: A Look Ahead, 2017 Momentum And Initiatives appeared first on HottyToddy.com.

#hottytoddy #olemiss #oxfordms #oxford ms #mississippi #university of mississippi #the grove

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