#toodle-loo

[caluupin]

I am so normal about act 5

#caluuart #genshin impact #genshin #art #digital art #neuvillette #focalors #although I personally prefer their relationship to be more on the platonic/familial side; #feel free to tag as ship if you want as I do not mind #now with that outta the way.... #MANNNNNNN the whole part of the aq is so good. nothing makes me as emotional as the whole part #neuvi and furi are such WELL WRITTEN characters and I love them sm #at first; furina were on the ''she's interesting but she slightly annoyed me'' #and now shes up there on my faves honestly #but generally tho. i loved act 5. i think it was good. i enjoyed it a lot #from the ost to the little dialogue.... #I have a lot more to say but for the sake of the tumblr tags on here; I'll stop for now #4.2 spoilers #toodle-loo

[dayurno]

writing jeremy is soooo fun tbh. imo making him perfect is Not fun to write. he’s comparatively so normal of course but writing his flaws there’s so much to do! i always love making him. a little annoying and neurotic. especially if whoever he’s paired with doesn’t realize until they’re already dating and the Jeremy Knox Love Potion clears up a little bit and they’re like holy fuck you push every single one of my buttons on purpose. and i still love you. but we need to work on this before i hit you with my car. really fun to add to the dynamic

JEREMY IS FUN i'm still testing the waters and dipping my feet in but so far i think he's like an amalgamation of wei wuxian from mdzs during cloud recesses era, the song 'ladies' choice' from the musical hairspray and specifically that scene in trc where gansey says 'top shelf'. for some reason i keep imagining jeremy as a rich person who pretends they're poor and it's making me giggle too

jean: hey here's the rent money i know you were struggling so i got a part time job on top of my extreme exy schedule to thank you for your kindness

jeremy whose parents have 4 houses and a media company: um.

YOU KNOW? he's funny. he's fun. i love your idea that he pushes peoples' buttons for fun because it's really like neil...... border collies who perform psychological experiments on family members when bored.... tch. jeremy knox!

#serious question: is jeremy the kind of guy to say toodle-loo? lets discuss #asks #jeremy

[cosmoswandas]

every seat in the house has a little fuzzy friend so that you don't have to get up to find someone to cuddle with!

#toodle poodle loo is at the computer with me! #she says hi!

[junii-moony]

#welcome to a new episode of discord bangers from junii #don't question the furina pfp #even though i don't play genshin #i am quite a fan of this silly god/child #toodle-loo~!

[mallowaj]

is it mean to delete reblogs that use main tags on your shipping post. bc gotdamn i even said in the tags NOT to use main tags, and they still did 💀 💀lik cmon now yall.... ik they prbly just didnt read it but man it urked me

#phil speaks #never posting treebark again (lie) #but got damn bro cant even respect martyns simplest of boundaries #lik ik its not specifically headcannoning him as a different sexuality but treebark is LITRALLY mentioned in the post #LET HIM BE!!!!!!!! #all of this is /nm btw its just bothersome at times #especially bc i specifically asked for no main tags #neways im gonna go delete that toodle-loo

[bumpintheroad]

I wanna take your virginity ugh

#ask #toodle-loo 🏃🏻‍♀️🏃🏻‍♀️

[didhewinkback]

completely off the grid for the weekend & last time this happened i logged back on to find out harry won aoty so who knows what will be in store this time

#another minivan makeout #i kid i kid #okay toodle loo hopefully next time u see me it will be in the form of part 5 posting #anon that sent me a message like 5 days ago ily im saving ur queestion to answer when i have an answer for u #im saving it to be dramatic #if that is okay #okay goodbye

[arealcrow]

cons of watching barbie fairy movies with me: i will repeat every other thing bibble says

pros of watching barbie fairy movies with me: i will repeat every other thing bibble says accurately

#bc i understand him. i speak the language #no toodle? bibble gonna toodle loo!!! (trans: no trip? bibbles going on the trip!!)

[caluupin]

I think it would be cool if i start a little series of doodling a neuvi routinely, not sure if i can keep up tho, might make it weekly so i can keep up without having it interfere with my other stuff

#caluutalks #idk why the thought of it popped up but I am considering it #it could be like a weekly neuvi or smth #feel free to scream at me to do it tho #anw back to class stuff #toodle loo

[draggofruoit]

{ Random introductory post to pin here }

This will include things about my blog, me, and ask stuff I guess.

{ Dni list }

Nsfw blogs

racists

transphobes + homophobes

proshippers

zoophiles

ect.

{ About the blog }

This blog will mainly be an art blog, sometimes I'll just randomly post thoughts I have.

I probably won't post often, due to school starting. Don't expect a lot of posts.

{ Basic ask rules }

OCs or characters from a series (if I know said series) are allowed, as long as I'm not requested to draw nsfw.

No nsfw images in asks, please.

Sure, I'll probably do suggestive themes with my OCs, but not with characters from a series or movie.

{ About me }

You can call me Draggo, or fruit. Either one is fine, or just use my username.

My pronouns are He/They.

I am Transgender and Pansexual.

I made a silly tmc AU, but never wrote lore to it.

{ Tags or smth }

Draggo does art - pretty self explanatory

Draggo's thoughts - I said words woah

might add more later

{ Inbox status updates below }

Inbox is currently open !!

#mandela catalogue #artists on tumblr #mandela catalogue au #the mandela catalogue #comfort blog #Draggo does art #Draggos thoughts #comfort #Im gonna add more tags once I start using more #Anyways toodle loo

[ladygoofball]

Well it looks like my little Saturn Return sketchbook is almost full after starting it March 7th 2023. Looks like i’ll need to get another little baby one like this for every year until February 18th 2026

Let’s see what else I can manifest with my little witchy sketches…

#Artist takes back the mic post #Looks like i have some books to get back to #Toodle loo #personal post break #Messages from Oracle

[shrekisshrimpthesimp]

the end of the week got me like

#will hopefully return as a human again tomorrow #toodle loo

[seas-storyarchive]

Summary: Alastor knows how to use modern technology, he just likes to be a dick and be EXTRA by making everyone pissed at him for being old timey.

aka: Alastor is as modern as the rest of them, but he likes to be a fucking troll.

--

Alastor has a phone. Alastor has a PHONE! He had numbers in it.

Or, well, just one number, his only contact.

Rosie.

He can text too. But, given that Rosie is his only contact, she is subject to his questions in call and text form.

The texting usually goes as follows:

Alastor, Deer: Rosie! You won't believe what I saw on my walk!!!

Rosie, Flower: Whatever did you see, my deer?

Rosie: *dear. Autocorrect decided it was time to be funny.

Alastor, Deer: Hm?? Why would it..

Alastor, Deer: Nevermind

Rosie, Flower: Tell me what you saw

Alastor, Deer: Oh yes! Well, I saw this delightfully funny scene of a man getting attacked by a swarm of crows!

Rosie, Flower: Oh, really? Well, that sounds like it was fun to watch!

Alastor, Deer: It was!

Alastor, Deer: I must go, darling. Charlotte needs me to go do my job. Toodle loo!

Rosie, Flower: I'll see you later, darling

--

Alastor, Deer: I fucking hate this hotel..

Rosie, Flower: Ooh! Spill the tea!

Alastor, Deer: Vagatha is being a cunt, Angel is flirting with my cat - who looks like he wants to eat him, Niffty almost found my phone

Alastor, Deer: Charlotte and her daddy issues are pissing me off, Count Dumbfuckula is always leaving these ducking fucks all over the hotel!!

Rosie, Flower: Don't you mean fucking ducks?

Rosie, Flower: You could always come stay with me for a night

Alastor, Deer: pfft. No

Alastor, Deer: Alright. Want me to pick up anything?

Rosie, Flower: A giant tub of ice cream and popcorn

Rosie: I'll make up some casserole and get the projector set up with some old movies.

Alastor, Deer: Fantōmas?

Rosie, Flower: How dare you ask me if the film that gets you going is left out

Alastor, Deer: Sometimes I think that's all you want me for

Alastor, Deer: I'll be over in 20 minutes

Rosie, Flower: No, but it is a perk

Rosie, Flower: Ok. See you soon <3

#hazbin hotel #rosie #alastor #alastor x rosie #radiorose #modernity - what if

[theshitpostcalligrapher]

req'd by @chameliyun

toodle-loo space cowboy....

text: Stay toodles, man.

#calligraphy #shitpost

[twisted-sickfics]

Hideaway

hi friends! here’s my first fic on this blog, i hope i do it justice! and thanks sm to the anon who sent in this request, i hope you enjoy! <3 now here’s 1.8k of sick sneezy alastor

~

It’s not exactly out of the ordinary for no one to have eyes on Alastor for quite some time, however it seems that he’s been missing from the hotel for nearly the entire day now.

“I’m just saying, it’s odd,” Charlie explains to a very uninterested Vaggie. It seems not everyone harbors the same worry in their heart for one of Hell’s Overlords. “We’d usually see him around, like, once or twice! Now it’s just radio silence. Literally.”

“I’m sure he’ll turn up soon enough,” Vaggie says with a lot less concern about the situation than her girlfriend. “It’s not exactly odd for that creepy fucker to go lurking around. I give him a day until he’s back.”

If only that were actually the case and Alastor were truly gallivanting around all of Hell without a care in the world. Instead, it seems he’s found himself in a rather unamusing predicament.

“Ḧ̸̳́̽͛̂̒̾̃̍͗̄̋͘’̷͍̹͇͉̓̀D̶̟̺͑̌̆̇̀̓̊̾̉̃̑̍͛̚͠Z̸͈̖̪̝̪̪͉̜͗́͆͌̒̋́̓̂͛͝͠Z̷̡̗̘̼̜̞̲͈̣͖̦͖͘Z̸̢̧̼͓̤̝̺̤̗̼̀̆ͅH̷̢̪̥͙̟̭̺̭̖͍̯̪̉!̶̢͖̳̙̦̙̗̩͍̟͌̃̌̉͒͑͗͜͜”̴̡̫͈̹̳̺̩͍̟̾̽̍͜͝͠

The sound of feedback in his ears makes Alastor wince, but luckily no one seems to be around to have seen that moment of weakness. Not that any lesser soul unfortunate enough to cross his path and witness the sorry state he’s in can’t simply be extinguished with minimal effort, he would still prefer to get to Rosie’s as soon as possible.

And hopefully his nose will stop buzzing when he’s there.

The residents of Cannibal Town know better than to greet Alastor with anything other than the utmost respect, but they aren’t ones to unnecessarily fall at the feet of a more powerful being. For that, Alastor is actually grateful for.

Getting to Rosie’s Emporium is easier said than done, but no one other than himself needs to know that. Not even Rosie. Unfortunately, even an Overlord of Hell isn’t immune to catching a terrible cold, but it’s making his muscles ache and he feels distinctly weak.

Weak

If there’s one person he knows for sure won’t take advantage of his misery, it’s Rosie. Their relationship has always been a special one, helping each other out whenever need be with very few strings attached for such powerful beings. Compared to other favors he’s had to ask, this one is particularly benign.

The first challenge that presents itself are the other patrons of Rosie’s Emporium who currently have no idea they are on one of the Overlords of Hell’s hit list right now. “Oh my goodness, Alastor! It’s lovely to see you here dearie!”

A warm welcome. One that would be much appreciated if Alastor didn’t need the patrons out yesterday. “Yes, yes, I thought I’d pay a visit to my good friend. There’s something I’d like to talk about if you’d lend me an ear—not literally this time, I’m afraid!”

Rosie laughs at the joke, but Alastor can already tell she’s picked up on his unusual behavior if his disheveled (by his standards) appearance wasn’t already enough to go by. “Alastor, dear, I always have time for you. Let me just finish up with a few customers and we can get right away, how’s about that?”

Alastor can already feel the buzzing sensation in his nose getting more intense by the minute. If he doesn’t get away soon, he’s going to—

“Well, then I hope you don’t mind if I take a bit of a look around the store while I wait. I must say, it’s been quite some time since I’ve last paid you a visit! Toodle loo!”

It’s rushed and worse than the usual quick-witted response Alastor could give on the spot, but the last thing he’s going to do is show any kind of weakness in front of a bunch of patrons. If word got out about the Radio Demon being brought down by a silly cold, he’ll never be able to live that down. He can always get rid of one or two unsuspecting passersby in the exact right place and time to witness Alastor’s downfall, but even he can hardly control the spread of gossip amongst an entire town. That’s more in line with the Vees’ skill set.

Quickly, he finds an unoccupied bathroom and ensures that no one is within earshot.

“H̶̬̮̻͔̯̥̤̪́̑͋͋͜Ḩ̸̧̡͈̖̹͇̜̤͍̗͇̻͂̓͛̃͆͝͠’̸̣̺̯̲͍̞͕̳̣̯̿̅̅͛̒N̶͉̺͖̯̟͇͉͎̣̈́̄̋̊̒̄͐͆G̶̛̭͇̪͍̬̳̼̦̎̈́͜K̸̛̛̪̞̉̇͆̿͝͝T̵̲̤͔̈́͂! H̷̭̳̤̗̻͙̀͆̉̓͋͋͑̕͠Ȟ̵̰̥̲̳̱́̍͜͜’̷͇͕͙̰͓̪̭̞͎̋̀͜D̸̢̡̛͇̜̪̱͖̥̝̯̱̃̀́̉̄͜͝Ź̶͇͎̠̟̹̫͈͌̿͒̓͋̈́̃̆̃̿͑̚͠Z̵̧͉͓̔͐́̀͐̈́̋͛Z̶̲̬̠̠͎̩͒̆̎̄̃̿̄̒͆̇̉̓̎͠Ḩ̴̢̢̛͈̔̋͗̈̊̎̀̎̀̎͌̂͝͝! H̶̡̨̠̮͉̱͕̜̼̱̬̫̲̽̀̂̀͆͐͜H̵̨̛̗̘̹͚̰̝̬̱͐̾͌̓͑̔͊̆͊͌͐̕͝͝’̶̨͕̗͙̝͕̯̬̯̮̹͛̎͘T̴̡͖̳̱̟̫̫̰̀̂͂̃̀͋͂̕͠ͅS̴͓̘̪̫̼͉̻͈̰̟̈̀̊̍̿̀̓̋͋͛̀͌͝Ḫ̷̙̩̦̤̞͇̟̘̐̐̇͒̀́̈́̑̔̀̏̂͝͠͝H̶̤̺̣̾̃́̆͑̿̃ͅ!”

The buzzing is incessant and the faint sound of radio static begins to fill the bathroom, a true testament to his lack of control. It shouldn’t be this way, he should be better-composed. He’s supposed to be indestructible, infallible, and completely immune to any kind of illness as silly as a cold.

Unfortunately, however, Hell just doesn’t work like that.

“Ugh…”

His head pounds and he’s begging to feel dizzy. Thankfully, there are worse places to pass out than in the bathroom of a trusted friend’s place, but he has a feeling his pride won’t allow him to do even that. There’s no way he’s going to show weakness, even to himself if he can help it.

Blowing his nose alleviates some of the pressure in his head as well as the sound of radio static in the room, but it doesn’t get rid of the incessant buzzing in his nose. He has a feeling that’s probably going to stick around for a while, as annoying as it is.

That’s when he hears the bathroom door open despite him being completely certain that he’d locked it. “Oh, Alastor, dear, you could’ve just told me you weren’t feelin’ well.”

At least it’s just Rosie. Some of the tenseness in his shoulders relaxes at that. He puts a smile back on his face and turns to face her with the little amount of dignity he still has left. “It seems that even Overlords can be brought down by a simple cold, I’m afraid,” he admits in a joking manner, not willing to admit how terrible he truly feels. “Do be careful, I would hate for you to catch something because of me.”

“Nah, that’s not somethin’ you have to worry your pretty little head about, darling,” Rosie says instead, not willing to accept Alastor playing this off. “Just trust me. I can shut down the shop for the day and make you some nice tea to help with that throat’a yours.”

That’s…nice. As much as Alastor would hate to admit weakness, there’s something about being offered a warm cup of bitter tea when he feels like collapsing on his feet right now. “How could I ever turn down an offer as generous as that? I think I’ll join you for some tea and conversation.”

The “conversation” part is ballsy, even for him, considering he isn’t sure how much longer he can go without sneezing. The buzzing in his nose is continuing to bug him even after he blew his nose. But being cared about tea sounds too nice to turn down.

The shop looks much different without the hustle and bustle of busy Cannibal Town residents. For Hell, Rosie has always managed to keep the place is relatively high spirits, a true feat for anyone unlucky enough to be down here.

“H̵̩̄̾̚͘̚H̴̨̞̥̾͊́’̷̱͓̰́̓͋̀̂D̸͎̱͌͑́͠T̴̜̚C̸̢̛̲̮͙̪̈́̋͗͜Ḩ̴̯̼̭̯͚̐͝!”

Great, now the static is back. And Rosie heard him.

His mask is slipping.

“Goodness, I apologize,” he says, trying to act as unbothered as possible. He can’t tell if Rosie is buying it or not since her back is turned to him, making tea. He grabs his handkerchief and rubs at his nose, hoping that will alleviate some of the annoying buzzing.

“You don’t need to act all tough around me,” Rosie chastises. “Haven’t we known each other for long enough by now? No one else is here right now. You can let your guard down, I’ve got you.”

As reassuring as that is (Rosie’s care is a good one to be in), Alastor isn’t sure he can let himself relax like that. He’s never done it before and he isn’t sure he can do it now, even with aches and soreness all over.

“You do have a way of seeing through everyone, don’t you?” Alastor says, finally letting his guard down. His voice is less animated and his ears begin to droop slightly. Anyone else would take this as an immediate sign to attack the Radio Demon, but not Rosie. Rosie is a friend. Rosie is safe.

“Here you go,” she says, sliding over a hot cup of black tea with no sugar. “That should help with your throat if it isn’t already hurting. But I have a feeling it is and you’re just not tellin’ me.”

“Oh Rosie, do tell me how it feels to be right all the time, hm?” Alastor jests. He didn’t realize how much his throat was actually hurting until he takes the first sip of tea. He tries to stifle the cough that ensues behind a fist, but an unsettling staticky sound emerges anyway.

“It feels lovely, darlin’,” Rosie quips. “But it sounds like your throat doesn’t. I really feel for you—getting sick while also bein’ in Hell? What kinda shitty luck is that?” She bursts into boisterous laughter, which Alastor doesn’t exactly appreciate but lets slide.

“I’ve had worse days, but this one is the shittyhh—

Ḩ̷̰͍̹̖̮̟͂̍͑̒̄Ḥ̸̨̯̥͕̣͙̯̠̳̘͇̀̋̄̂͒́̑͘͜͝’̸̡̡̮͔̪̰̼̖͉̝͈̝̃͗̅͋͗̓͛͌͝E̸̤̦̱͓̭͉͇̠͚͂̽̏̎͌͑̀̋̀͂̕̚͝͠͝D̷̢͎̭͙̹̙̖̭̣̣̮͖̰͖̆̚Ż̶̧̨͖̭͕͉͇̩͉̰͙͍͍̰̥̂́̉͌Z̵̳̲̝̱̦̻͙̰͕̭̪̯͗̈̋̑̍̅̓̌̆̀̔̇͜S̴̨̢̢̛̲̦͔̠͔̻̯̼̥͆ͅH̵͎͋̽̀̅̄̕Û̸̢̩̝͕̾̈́̓͂̽̀̓̉̚! Ugh, ‘scuse mbe. Well, I suppose

there’s certainly no way I can broadcast in this condition, now is there?” Might as well rest here and recuperate before heading back to the hotel, he thinks to himself, especially if Rosie is being so amenable. Wouldn’t want to face her wrath if I tried to walk out of here like this, either.

He can feel his ears drooping at this point, but he doesn’t have the energy or the necessity to keep them pointed upright. Hopefully no sneaky lesser demons are lurking around looking for pictures but Alastor is still confident in his abilities to detect any foul presences, even battling one of the worst colds of his life.

“How’s that hotel business going these days? The princess and her friends still up to their little shenanigans?” Rosie asks, trying to make conversation. Alastor thinks he still has enough energy left for that.

“Always,” he responds, the plastered smile on his face suddenly feeling slightly more genuine. “But it can be such a headache. There’s no way I could possibly be there now, imagine the migraine I would get in my state.” It’s certainly not because the thought of being doted on makes his cold, shriveled heart do funny things inside his chest.

“Just don’t stay here too long,” Rosie suggests. “Of course you’re welcome to stay as long as you’d like, dear, but I’m sure the residents would miss you dearly if you were gone more than a few days. It’s just a matter of time before one of them comes looking for you, you know.”

That, he knows too well. He can practically hear Charlie worrying all the way from the hotel lounge. But there’s no way he can show vulnerability around any of them.

Not yet.

“I’ll make sure to recover quickly, then,” Alastor says, sipping on his tea cup. “Give them nothing to worry about. I’ll be back in no tihh… no time—

“Ḩ̴̤͓̫̖͇̤͊̂́͜H̵̢̢̤̺̩̟̖͍̩̹̗̠̑̈́̈́̀͌͑̾̊͝ͅ’̸͇̈̑͒Ë̶̮̝̗͕͖̳͇̗͕̼̬͖́̐͑̈͋̒̀̄̉̈́̒̾̚͘T̵̛̗͚̰̱̭̘͉̯̝̈́̀̂̏̍̽͋͘͝S̴̡̙̺͎̬̱̘̈̅̏́̇ͅS̴̭̥̑̉̂͛̂̾̏̂̾͗Ḣ̵̢̢̞͕̹̰̯̟̰̯̠̖͕͔̀U̸̮͌͆́̏̂̎̏͝͠! Ȟ̴̱’̵̧̛̘́̏͑̌̔̅̑̀͒͂̽͗̃̄H̴̛͙̮͈̠̻̝̱͖̺̺̺͉̩͙̲̆̒́͆̃̂̕͜Ả̷͉̫̘͋̃̋̽̂͂̆̽̏̍̐̾͌̕͜͝Z̵̧̡̠̻̥̲̙͇̙̠͋͌͛̈́͐͋͊͆̔͆͗͒̍͝Z̶̢͚͓͒̆̈́͊̈̑͠ͅZ̶͉̠̗͇̥̰͎̰̱͙͉̱̜̳̣̉̒̌́̓̓͋̚͠H̸̬͓͚̻͖̣̙̬͌̈́̈́͒͌̒̍̒̌̕͠Ủ̶̧̜̱̺̘̖͖̣̣̙͇̩̣͉̄ͅ! Ḥ̴̨̼̣̩̰͓̗̞̜̘͖̱̊̍͜͝È̵̟͒̄͝’̵̙̱̻̥̼̥̹͈̎̈͋̔̅̋̿̓̔͘͜͜Ḍ̷̠̤͕̞̻̟̻͓̜̱̱̃̊̀̎̈́̓̍̇̏͂̚̕Z̸̡̜͈̝̖̈́͊̾̐̓̾̈̽̎̌̍͛̑̕̚̕Z̶̺̣̯̺̫͇̈́̒̇͒̇͆̄̓̅͋̒H̸̉̏̇̿͌̈́̈́́̅̊̒͂͝��̨̡̜̳̜̜̣̤̮̇Ứ̵̡̙̮͍̣̼̹̠̞̣͕̇̂̑̄̑̔̑̋̎͛̚͝ͅ!”

That damned buzzing in his nose! If it were an enemy, he would be able to eliminate them in nanoseconds. But even the great Alastor can’t fight off a cold without rest and relaxation.

Thankfully, he can get plenty of it at Rosie’s.

#snz #sickfic #snez #snzfic #snzblr #snzario #snz kink #snz blog

[instacarma0798]

Title: Wings of Mischief

Ship: Natasha Romanoff x Reader (but only if you squint)

Warnings: background character death?

(A/N- I might make this into a full story, but have a little drabble while I get over writers block)

You sighed as you listened to the familiar sound of water drip from the ceiling in a constant pattern. Your knife twirled between your fingers, the metal now warm from use, as you waited for your hostage to wake up.

It was a red-headed woman, you think your dealer called her the Blue Spider or something, you weren't sure. Anyways, big money was involved and it seemed like fun so who were you to say no? The woman was tied to a chair, adorning a deep red t-shirt and black pants plus some sneakers. You almost wished her eyes were open, they were the most beautiful shade of green.

The woman groaned as her eyes blinked open, taking in her surroundings and you grinned. You leaned your chest against the back of your chair and draped your arms over it as the woman adjusted to her surroundings.

"Hiiii!" you drawled, "Nice to see your finally awake."

The pretty red-head glared at you as she finally gained full consciousness.

"Aww, don't give me that look," you pouted and twirled your knife once more, drawing her eyes to it.

She struggled against the restraints bounding her to the chair, metal handcuffs securing her hands and legs to it. After a moment she gave up and went still glaring at you.

"Ok so," you started to stand and walk towards her, stopping when she spat at your feet, "Hey! That was rude," crossing your arms and pouting your crouched in front of her, "Look, it's nothing personal, but you are going to make me big, big, big, money."

She eyed for a moment before grunting out, "You're new."

That threw you for a moment and you blinked wide eyes at her, "Thank you..? I'll take that as a compliment."

The woman shrugged as best she could, "Go ahead. You just aren't like other kidnappers."

"Oh it is a compliment!" you squealed, "Thanks!"

She didn't seem to appreciated your cheery attitude.

Sighing, the woman titled her head, "Have you ever thought about using your talent for good?"

You waved your hand in the air as you stood, "Meh. Good, bad those are all just labels. I prefer the term fun."

"Fun for whom exactly?" she questioned with narrowed eyes and furrowed brows.

"Me!" you exclaimed casting your hands out to your sides in a dramatic fashion, "duh."

Subconsciously you twirled your knife between your fingers once more, the action somewhat soothing having been a pattern since you were young. You pursed your lips as you paced around the woman, noticing her fingers twitching at the cuffs around her wrists. So she was smart. Good.

"Oki Doki," you clapped your hands together, forgetting the knife and wincing when you hit it, "Ow. Anyways, here's the deal cause I like you. Imma leave, my contracto/r will be here soon. If you're gone," you shrugged helplessly, "you're gone and you kidnapped me. Deal?"

You smiled when she simply glared you at you, "Oh honey, I noticed your hands working the cuffs already, I'm sure you'll be gone by the time my employer gets here."

Snatching your duffle off of the counter on your way towards the window you turned and blew her a kiss, "Toodle loo!"

Wings sprouted from your back, ripping your clothes (dammit, you just got new ones), as you launched yourself out of the window and let the wind carry you away.

<____________>

You didn't see the woman again for a few months, picking up a few jobs here and there. That was, until you were supposed to kill this super fancy man - to be honest you forgot his name - at this super fancy party. Thus you bought the fanciest clothing you could find. In reality, you ought to buy a dress, but that just wasn't your style so you went with a suit instead.

Smoothing it down you looked in the mirror as you stuck earrings into your various ear piercings and tightened your tie. The party was supposed to start half an hour ago, so you could be fashionably late - not that anyone was expecting you.

Once you arrived, blinding lights met your eyes, disco lights, and people chattering all around. It was rather loud for your taste, but it would have to do. You sighed and got to work. Locating the man you were supposed to take out wasn't hard to do, he was an older man with greying hair and a bushy beard.

Rolling your eyes you mingled until he excused himself you took your chance. Also excusing yourself from the random woman you were socializing with you trailed after the man. He rounded a corner, heading towards his private room.

Before you could enter after him a hand yanked on your suit collar, blocking off your air, and you stumbled back.

"Hey!" you yelled, "That was ru-"

Your legs were swept underneath you, cutting off your sentence. A weight, surprisingly light, was pressed onto your hips. A pale face stared down on you as a woman pinned your arms to the ground.

You grinned up at the red-head who you had captured a few months prior, "Y'know if you wanted to be on top all you had to do was ask."

She wrinkled her perfect nose in disgust before hissing, "What are you doing here?"

Huffing you flipped the two of you over, this time you on top, "I like this better," you wiggled your eyebrows, watching her nose crinkle and eyebrows furrow once more, "I just hafta do something then I'll be outa your way sweetheart."

Giving her a wink, your pressed a small device into her side - an electrical shock flooding her body as you hopped off just in time. Brushing invisible dust off your hands you stared down at her. Damnit, you didn't think this through. Ok...where to put her? You glanced around a tad frantically before locating a random door and dragging body over and shoving her inside the random room.

"Sorry sweetheart," you whispered, "I have a job to do."

The rest of the job was easy, you killed the fancy dude - blood spilled out of his neck and flooded the white carpet, staining it your favorite color. You leaped out the window once more, your wings carrying you back to your safehouse.

<___________>

Your next meeting with the woman was, to your shock, in one of your own safehouses. Priding yourself on having rather secure houses, you were quite shocked. The woman showed up with a man who carried a bow and had sandy blonde hair.

"Hi!" you chirped despite your surprise, "I see you brought a friend this time."

You turned some bacon over from where they sat sizzling in a pan on the stove, even though it was around midnight. You held the pan up, bacon cooked and ready to eat, "You want some?"

Both humans stared at you questioningly as you plopped your bacon onto a plate and grabbed a piece with your bare hands, "No? Ok."

It took a moment before either of them could formulate a response, but it was the man who did so, "No eggs with those?"

Gasping, you placed a hand over your heart, "How could you? Are you suggesting I commit cannibalism?"

Crunching down on the bacon you giggled as both humans stared at you, perplexed once more. You waved a piece of bacon around, "Relax, I'm joking." Rounding to counter you stood in front of them with your hands on your hips, "So, what do I owe the pleasure of two SHIELD agents?" It was hard not to identify them as such, and even with your limited knowledge of the how human's worked you were able to see the emblem on the man's shoulder.

The woman pursed her lips and regarded you for exactly two breaths before she spoke in her silky smooth voice ( you refused to admit that it sounded like heaven to your ears) that had the slightest rough Russian inflection, "You're an...oddity. SHIELD wants to learn more."

You let out an exasperated sigh, "First HYDRA and now SHIELD," your lips formed a pout and you sagged your entire body, "Can I just be left alone?"

The man shook his head with a small, almost fond, smile, "Sorry kiddo, no can do," he pulled handcuffs out of his pocket, "Would it be a stretch to ask you to put these on and come with us?"

"Ooooo!" you clapped your hands together in excitement, "First, not a kid," you held up one finger before holding up another, "Second, you brought friendship bracelets? I'm honored."

The woman looked close to snapping, much to your amusement, and stated in a deadpan voice, "Those are handcuffs."

"Eh, technicalities," you shrugged in indifference and popped your last piece of bacon into your mouth, "Any chance I could get your names?"

Honestly, you didn't expect to get their names - they were most likely spies after all. Especially when the man opened his mouth but the woman elbowed his side with a glare. They seemed to have a mini staring contest before the woman sighed heavily.

"I'm Clint Barton and that's Natasha Romanoff," the man introduced, gesturing between the two.

"Great!" you chirped, wings sprouting out of your back once more.

You shook them out, a couple feathers dropping to the ground as you winced and the two stared in shock. You took their moment of stunned silence to jump out the window with a flip, your wings sprawling out and spreading wide. Distantly you could a faint, "I told you so!" causing you to giggle.

#natasha romanoff x you #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff #black widow #female reader #marvel