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lieutenantism · 26 days

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i'm currently thinking about how jean loses himself completely to harry. just dissolves entirely. very little sense of identity left outside his partnership with him, which i find so intriguing. i mean, it's the definition of codependency, but that doesn't make it any less interesting (long post, again).

"i won't let my life unravel because of this." is just so insane and melodramatic to me because WHO is that man to you, jean? and why is his alcoholism the reason for your life unraveling? jean takes on harry's drinking problem as a problem of his own, a threat to his life before harry's, even though the drinking doesn't affect harry's ability to do his job, and jean acknowledges that as well as everyone else in the major crimes unit.

but why does he have such a big problem with harry's alcoholism? why's he the only one out of the task force who seems to care obsessively? because the one before him failed to save him, and he feels as though it's his responsibility now. to jean, harry's life is divided to three parts; before him, during him, and tragically, after him.

the fact jean puts himself in the same position as dora, harry's ex, tells you enough. almost as if he considers them to be the same, in terms of responsibility for harry's wellbeing. he's cleaning up her mess, he seems to think. she was way before my time, as though they hold the same significance to harry. of course, this isn't entirely jean's fault. both him and harry share the guilt of their twisted relationship; harry's guilty of getting too personal with anybody within arm's reach.

and jean's guilty for wanting to clean up a mess that he didn't make, and losing sight of himself and his true professional duties in the process. so it goes like this; they partner up, harry's bad at drawing the line between personal and professional relationships and jean's even worse, harry goes on benders every week and jean witnesses them and tries to pull him out of them relentlessly, which then leads to whatever fucked up partnership they had, right before martinaise. the question is why did jean feel the need to save him? because he projected onto him severely.

they're both broken men; mirrors of each other, though jean will never say it out loud. he sees himself in harry, and since he can't save himself and everyone's given up on him, even the professionals, he decides not to give up on harry. in a way, jean's trying to prove to himself that he's not a lost cause through sticking by harry's side through it all, because if even the most lost of causes manages to have at least one person who's there for them at all times, who says he can't have one too? why must he be labelled as the anomaly? if harry du bois could be saved, so can he. he maintains this "i have my shit together, i'm better than you." persona during the entire confrontation, when he isn't. like i said, harry is everything jean works hard in order not to become, yet he still manages to lose his sense of identity while "saving" him and only becomes "harry's partner". that's all he is. nothing but a safety net, there to catch him at all times.

that's why he becomes extremely defensive when you choose the "kim's cooler than you." option, because you're practically robbing him of his identity. throughout the entirety of the game, he keeps repeating: "i'm your partner", to reassure himself more so than anything else, and what the game does here is very clever. you first hear him say that on a call, so distant and away from you; he cannot convince you that he's your partner even if he tried. then, he says it when he's in an idiotic disguise that you didn't recognize, and quite frankly it's making you uncomfortable, it's hard to take him seriously when he looks so stupid so you don't believe him, again. then at last, when he confronts you, and he's himself. then you think it sticks.

but it doesn't, and you dismiss him again to ask about the others. i've always found it perplexing how there's no "how can you be my partner?" option during the confrontation. you can ask about mikael heidelstam for fuck's sake, but not your partner. simply because you don't believe he is, at least not anymore. he's just a very angry man who was in a stupid disguise, and that's all you can ask him about. isn't that so insanely tragic? when you think about how dismissive the "confrontation" is? and jean's lashing out that way because his whole identity is hanging in the balance? no matter what jean tells harry, there's no click, no lightbulb flickering moment, nothing. jean tries everything, it's painful to see, really. the "i didn't lie to you. no one lies to you." and his lines to judit and trant where he's like "i told you, it's typical harry behavior. it's our shitkid." and so on are all attempts to prove that he, jean, knows him, harry, better than anyone else, even himself. he KNOWS him, which is why harry has to need him. he has to keep him. as his partner or whatever the hell it was, because nobody else knows him or will ever get to know him that way.

jean's response to harry telling them "i don't wanna be in your unit." only further proves it. "i'm your partner, i answer for you when you're not there." considering the fact harry and jean had begun to blur ever since their partnership came into being makes the line funnier lol. jean had locked himself up in a prison of his own making, of course with harry giving him all the means necessary to build his own cage beforehand. it was a matter of time and conditioning, and severe loneliness. every crime of harry's feels like one jean is guilty of.

#lav thinks #of course all of this is what the game gives you since its from harry's pov #who knows if jean has a self outside harry #ig we'll never know!#i love you jean. *proceeds to dissect him for the millionth time* i love you.#woahhhhh this is long... enjoy lol #jean vicquemare #disco elysium

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rollinouttahere-writes · 4 months

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Shooting my shot asking for a Kaku x adult Lucky fic rather than headcannons this time (you don’t have to if you don’t want to)

Oh trust me, I want to!

I decided to make this a little what if scenario for if Kaku had been successful in running off with her after Enies Lobby

Not So Bad

3.4k words

warnings for yandere content and pregancy mentions (not for Lucky)

Life had taken many turns that you hadn’t been prepared for.

It started with more tame things such as your parents throwing you out when you dropped out of college and the absolutely unhinged shit customers put you through at work. Then you went and got yourself sent to a whole different world, as one does, and after that your life appeared to be speedrunning batshit insane events.

This ultimately culminated in your current situation: Being abducted and forcibly married to one of the many people who had become obsessed with you since entering this bizarre world.

Waves crashed against the ship from outside, lightly jostling you and everyone else on board. Kaku’s arms instinctively tightened around you. The small bed you were both crammed into left no room for personal space, every inch of your body was squeezed against his so as to prevent either of you from falling off the bed at the slightest movement of the ship.

The soft fabric of his nightshirt pressed into your face, likely leaving an imprint in its wake. The steady rise and fall of his chest stuttered slightly from the disturbance of the particularly large wave hitting seconds before, but it evened out again. He’s such a light sleeper that you’re honestly surprised that wasn’t enough to wake him.

Quiet grumbling could be heard behind you as one of the other people you were bunking with complained about how rough the sea was. You could understand why she would be irritated by this. Her morning sickness had been bad enough already, the motion of the ship rocking as much as it was definitely didn’t help.

This particular situation was hardly anything new for you. Ever since Kaku had “eloped” with you after you failed to fight him off at Enies Lobby thanks to your clammy hands dropping your impact dial, you’d been on the run. It made sense, you suppose. You were a wanted pirate after taking part in the attack on Enies Lobby, and he was a former CP9 agent who not only ran but was also being blamed for the situation. It was rare for you two to stay on an island for more than a few weeks. If you stayed any longer you ran the risk of being tracked down by other assassins.

While Kaku’s distinct features made hiding a little more difficult than it needed to be, you lucked out by not having a photograph on your bounty poster. No one had been able to get a picture of you, so they had to settle for a drawing instead. It wasn’t very accurate, though you had to admit it looked much better than Sanji’s. You damn near pissed yourself from how hard you’d laughed after seeing his.

Kaku was outwardly optimistic about your circumstances, assuring you that the manhunt would calm down as the years went by. You’re not sure if he actually believed that or if he was just saying as much to try and comfort you. That was admittedly something he was good at. Lord knows he’d needed to do this more than a few times in your time together.

At first you had resented that tendency of his because he had been the primary cause of your stress. The audacity of him to try and get you to calm down after kidnapping you made you want to scream. Or when he would wildly misconstrue why you were upset. Like the time he thought you were having “pre-wedding jitters” because you’d been fighting him tooth and nail on the way to an extremely shady chapel, and didn’t ONCE consider that maybe you just didn’t want to marry him.

Your kicking and screaming had done nothing to stop it. The officiant didn’t care about your willingness, and Kaku was delusional enough to excuse your behavior as just being nerves or whatever. He’d gotten what he wanted, insisting that he wanted to “do this right”, and now he was your husband whether you liked it or not.

As time went on, your disdain for him was becoming less and less, and you didn’t know how to feel about it.

Sure, at first it was easy to dig your heels in and resist. The Straw Hats would be here any second to save you, you were sure of it. But they never showed. You tried to rationalize it. They didn’t know where you were. With Robin they knew exactly where she went and how to get there, it was easy to chase after her. With you, you had up and vanished without a trace. You’re not even sure they had enough to go off of to know that you’re with Kaku.

Jealousy was an ugly emotion, but that didn’t keep it from brewing within you. You hadn’t seen so much as a hint of the Straw Hats, and that led to you questioning if they were even trying to find you. Were you just deadweight that they were glad to be rid of? You tried to tell yourself that wasn’t true, but it became harder to convince yourself of that as you saw reports of the Straw Hats gaining new members.

Had they replaced you? That easily?

Surprisingly, Kaku had been the one to assure you that likely wasn’t the case. He pointed out how hard they fought to get you back when you were still in Water 7. While he definitely wasn’t a fan of theirs by any means, even he could admit that they cared for you. It was… confusing to hear him of all people defend the Straw Hats.

The real tipping point came after you saw the paper announcing Ace’s death. That broke you.

For a solid month after that, you were inconsolable. There was nothing that anyone could do or say to ease the pain. After the crying had gone from a constant to only happening in random bursts, you had fallen into a deep depression. You wondered if there was something that you could have done to prevent this. Would you have been able to save Ace if you’d been there? The idea that his death was avoidable made you feel sick to your stomach.

All throughout this depressive episode, Kaku had been nothing but kind and patient. He’d been a shoulder to cry on, someone to ramble to about your time spent with Ace in Alabasta and how he was like the brother you never had. Kaku didn’t once get irritated with you over being upset, and he never criticized you for being useless when you were too depressed to get out of bed in the morning. It made him very hard to hate.

Then one night he brought home a kitten he’d found at the construction site he was working on temporarily, one of his many odd jobs he’d picked up. The poor thing was underweight and so filthy that you couldn’t even tell what color it was supposed to be. A rather lengthy bath in the sink had revealed him to be orange, which reminded you of Ace and made you cry again.

Kaku had encouraged you to keep him saying that having the little guy around might help you to feel better, and you saw no reason to argue. You’d always wanted a cat. The kitten was a total sweetheart. Very mischievous and dumb as a brick in true orange cat fashion, but undeniably loving. The idea to name him Ace came to you easily.

Having cat Ace around did wind up being a turning point in your mood. You couldn’t sulk in bed all day when a tiny kitten was raising hell in your room and demanding attention. It was nice having something to take care of.

Ace was presently snuggled up in the crook of your neck, thoroughly worn out from Ellie playing with him for hours on end during the day. Ellie was the daughter of the couple you were sharing a cabin with. The six year old had been ecstatic to see she was rooming with a kitty and had all but begged you to play with him, which you were fine with. Her mother, Clara, had simply been grateful to have her daughter occupied while she struggled with a combination of morning and motion sickness.

Due to both you and Kaku having a wanted status, you typically chose to stay in the cabin of whatever passenger ship you happened to be traveling on so as to minimize the chances of being recognized. This led to you getting to know Clara and Ellie quite well. Not her husband though, who you’re not sure you ever caught the name of.

Kaku had butted heads with him a couple of times over his behavior, starting with when you were boarding the ship and saw that he’d left Clara to haul on all of the luggage herself despite being very noticeably pregnant. Both of you were quick to help her, while Kaku made a jab at him for being a “ninnyhammer”. Honestly you think he was more mad about not knowing what that meant than being insulted.

None of you saw much of him after that. He’d spent the day socializing and drinking, only coming back to the cabin after everyone else had already gone to bed.

You’ve been awake since he came back. Partially because you’ve had a lot on your mind as of late, but mostly because you really needed to pee. You thought that it could wait until morning at first, but it had become clear that wasn’t going to be the case.

There was no use in trying to sneak out of the bed without waking up Kaku. With how closely pressed you two were, even a heavy sleeper would be awoken from the movement. The second you shifted yourself up onto one elbow, his eyes shot open.

“Is something wrong?” His voice was thick with sleep, but his eyes were alert.

“I need to go to the bathroom. Hold Ace so he doesn’t run out after me,” you pulled the kitten away from your neck and handed him over. Ace mewled in protest.

“Alright, will do,” Kaku murmured while holding the feline gently.

After slipping on your shoes and a housecoat over your pajamas, you quietly snuck out of the room.

One of the downsides to being sent to a world that was in a time period before your own was that things were less advanced than you were used to. Unfortunately that applied to the bathrooms. In the absence of plumbing, the “toilets” were in cramped rooms at the front of the ship that essentially just had a hole in the floor hanging over the ocean below.

Admittedly, this ship’s toilets were bougie in comparison to some of the others you’ve been on. At least these afforded you some privacy, unlike a few of the others that simply had you out in the elements for anyone and everyone to see your bare ass.

You’re not sure you made it ten feet from the room when you could hear the door open and close again. Your eye twitched in annoyance. Where could Kaku possibly think you would go while on a ship in the middle of the ocean? You hadn’t tried to run in months after learning quickly that you had no hope of being able to get away from him, not with how athletic he was.

With a huff, you stop and look over your shoulder. Instead of seeing your paranoid husband, your eyes fell upon Ellie. She jogged over, nightgown bouncing with each step, “Are you going to the toilets? Can I come with you?”

“Oh, yeah of course,” you waited for her to close the gap before continuing.

Ellie reached up to grab your hand as you made your way down the dimly lit hall, “Thank you! I really needed to go but was too scared to go by myself, it’s so spooky in here at night.” That it was. The sparsely placed oil lamps did little to illuminate the halls, the moonlight shining in through the windows was doing more than they were. “And I didn’t want to ask mama since she doesn’t feel so good.”

“Aww, that was very considerate of you,” sadly she appeared to be more concerned for her mother’s well being than the woman’s husband was. It wasn’t surprising that she hadn’t even considered asking her father to go with her, you don’t think you’ve seen them speak to each other once.

She tugged on your hand and looked up at you expectantly, “Hey, can I play with Ace again tomorrow?”

“I don’t see why not, he seems to be quite fond of you,” you couldn’t help but chuckle at her enthusiasm. Ellie squealed and walked with a skip in her step.

Distantly, you wondered how Ace would feel about you naming a cat after him. He might be a little indignant about it at first, especially if you talked about how dumb the kitten was, but you think he would come around. Cat Ace is charming in his own right, he’d be able to win over human Ace. If… If he’d had the chance to. You shook your head. No, you weren’t going to let yourself spiral again tonight, and certainly not when you were escorting a child to the bathroom.

After a somewhat long trek, the head finally came into view. Ellie let go of your hand and ran into one of the private rooms. She must have really had to go. You entered your room of choice with a decidedly calmer gait. It was very dark in there, with the only light coming from the slits in the wall letting in both fresh air and moonlight.

Wanting to get out of here as quickly as possible, you got down to business. The choppy waters did not make balancing yourself particularly easy, but you managed. After washing your hands in a bowl of water that you were trying your hardest not to think too hard about the cleanliness of, you took a moment to look at yourself in the mirror.

Pushing back the partial bangs Kaku had given you to hide your scar- that he swore up and down he wasn’t bothered by, this was purely to hide your identity- you traced over the scar. It had long since healed over, but the memories associated with it felt fresh.

Again, your thoughts drifted to the Straw Hats. A few months ago, they had disappeared. No one knew where they were and there was talk of them having disbanded. You didn’t buy it, Luffy was far too determined to give up on his dream, and his crew was too loyal to leave him, but where did that leave you?

When they first left the public eye, you had thought it was done intentionally so they could come rescue you. It would be harder for Kaku to avoid them if he had no idea where they were. That never happened. It was really starting to feel like they had abandoned you. Makes sense, you suppose, you were quite the handful for them. What with all the people chasing after you and fighting them to get to you. It was probably nice to not have to worry about that anymore.

It hurt. A lot.

But not as much as you thought it would. Kaku has told you time and time again how much he loved you, and you did believe him. At first you thought he was just obsessed and nothing more, but as time went on and he went out of his way to try and make you happy, you found yourself doubting him less and less.

You wouldn’t say that you loved him, but you’re not sure how much longer that will be the case. He’d been successful in making you at least a little fond of him. You would willingly engage in conversations with him and honestly didn’t mind him holding you at night anymore. There have also been a few instances of you getting… carried away, but you didn’t want to think about that right now.

Were a few kind words and gentle touches really all it took to make you overlook the extremely dubious beginning of your relationship with him? Were you really that easy to win over? How pathetic.

Another rough jolt of the ship snapped you out of your thoughts. A dingy bathroom was hardly the kind of place you should be staying in any longer than necessary. The wooden door creaked loudly as you forced it open, making you wince.

Ellie was standing on a bench beneath a large window, taking in the sight of the ocean at night. She flashed you a large grin and hopped down when you approached. The walk back to your shared room was filled with speculations about what the island you were heading to would be like. It was a welcomed distraction from your previous train of thought.

As you rounded the corner of the hallway your cabin resided in, you spotted a figure stationed outside of your room. Your pulse quickened, briefly panicking as you wondered who it was, but then he turned and his side profile gave away his identity immediately. Ah, it was just Kaku. Though you couldn’t help but wonder what he was doing out here.

He likely spotted both of you the second you entered the hall, and he spoke up once you got close enough to hear him. His eyes were focused on Ellie, “Your mother’s fretting over you, you should go in and let her know you’re alright.”

“Oh, okay. Thank you for walking with me, Lucky!” Ellie gave you a quick hug before scurrying into the room

It wasn’t until then that you noticed a disgruntled Ace in Kaku’s arms who was all but clawing at him to get to you. Naturally, you scooped him up and brought your dear pet to your chest, causing him to purr.

“Did something happen? Why was Clara so worked up?” You lightly stroked the kitten’s face, making him purr even harder.

“She didn’t realize her little ankle biter had slipped out of the room after you and got into a tizzy over where she had gone. She settled a bit after I said I saw her leave with you, but I figured she’d prefer to see Ellie in the room again.” Kaku sidled up to you, one of his hands found purchase on your shoulder and his head rested against your own. You allowed it, even leaning into him.

A comfortable silence blanketed you two as you lingered in the hall, swaying lightly with the current of the ocean.

“You do so well with children. Ellie adores you.” Was murmured into your ear.

Your breath hitched in your throat. You knew where he was going with that. Kaku had been open about his desire to have children since your encounter in Enies Lobby. Over the months that you’ve been together, he’d made several comments about it. From observations that you were good with kids when you did interact with them, to asking what kind of names you liked best. He wasn’t subtle, but he never pushed it when you changed the subject.

“I guess so? Ellie’s a good kid, it’s hard not to get along with her.” You honestly weren’t sure how you felt about the idea of having children of your own, you were hardly in the best state of mind to be thinking about such things.

Kaku hummed in agreement and held you to him just a little bit tighter. After a moment, he released you, “We should hit the hay, it’s late.” He didn’t wait for an answer before gently guiding you back to the room.

Slipping off your housecoat was slightly difficult to do while holding Ace, but he was too cute for you to want to put him down so you made it work. Kaku was already in the small bed and helped you climb in, keeping a firm grip on you so that you wouldn’t be thrown to the floor from a poorly timed wave.

Yet again, you were squished against each other from the lack of space. A couple of months ago, you would have hated this. Now? It didn’t seem so awful.

Your face was buried in his chest as Ace squirmed around in an attempt to get himself comfortable. Kaku’s lips pressed against your forehead for a brief kiss and he mumbled out a quiet “sweet dreams” before fully settling into the bed.

Maybe loving him wouldn’t be so bad.

#lucky break #kaku one piece #kaku x reader #yandere one piece #one piece x reader #one piece x y/n #one piece x you #one piece

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danicamaximoff · 5 months

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Pretend To Be Nice | Chapter One

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Chapter One: Bowling Alleys and Balding Men

Summary: A few months after forming their band "The Pussycats", Hazel and her friends PJ and Josie get noticed by a record label, and are quickly skyrocketed into fame. It's a dream come true for them, and all three of their lives are flipped upside down. Their quick arrival on the scene quickly draws the attention of many other artists and bands, including a popular girl band called "Nymphology". Unfortunately for Hazel, a mix-up and unintentional awful encounter ends up creating tension between the two groups right before they all leave for Nymphology's upcoming tour. Now forced to frequently interact with someone who she was convinced couldn't stand her, Hazel is desperately trying to fix things with the band's lead guitarist. However it doesn't help that Y/N is actively avoiding Hazel as much as possible, and the fact that Hazel found her insanely hot definitely didn't make things any easier.

Warnings: angst, rockstar au, eventual smut, slowburn, swearing, occasional alcohol mentions/use

Word Count: 2450

Hazel had always joked about starting a band one day and blowing up and getting super famous. When she was little, and her parents were still together, she used to dress up like Freddy Mercury and perform one-woman concerts of her favorite queen songs for her parents. Sure, third grade Hazel was definitely way off pitch, but after the third night in a row of being forced to sit through her completely butchering the high notes in Bohemian Rhapsody, Hazel’s parents quickly enrolled her in voice lessons.

For Halloween during the fourth grade she went as Paul Simmons from Kiss. Most of the girls came as fairies or princesses, even a few witches, but not Hazel. She showed up to class with a shit eating grin on her face, waving at people as she passed by as they stared, smiling to herself about how cool people must think she looks. However, apparently people were less impressed than she thought, as during lunch a few of the girls from her class came up to her, giggling to themselves as they approached.

One of them had asked why she looked so weird, and Hazel, assuming they wanted to know more about the band Kiss, began rambling about the band and her costume, eager to talk about her current obsession. They invited her to play with them during lunch, and even let her reenact songs and clips she had seen of the band from concert videos on YouTube, which she was more than happy to perform, as she had thought she was making friends, and they were genuinely interested in the band.

However, later that day while waiting to get picked up, she learned that wasn’t the case, as she overheard the girls from lunch laughing with each other as they all made fun of Hazel, unaware she had been listening. Needless to say, Hazel didn’t go trick or treating that year.

In an attempt to make her feel better, a few days later her parents offered to sign her up for guitar lessons, which she quickly agreed to, convinced this was finally the start of her path to becoming a rockstar. She figured it would be easy, and once she became a master at guitar everyone would obviously want to be her friend. After all, who didn’t want to be friends with a super rich and famous rock star? Unfortunately, apparently it is much harder to learn the guitar than it seemed, and was much harder than the songs she would play on Guitar Hero afterschool, so she quit guitar lessons.

She decided she would put her efforts into something easier, and also way cooler, and that year for Christmas her dad bought her a drum set, and she started learning how to play the drums. Turns out it’s way more fun to learn to play an instrument when your tiny elementary-schooler fingers aren’t in almost constant pain, and you get to hit stuff with sticks and make a lot of noise.

As the years went by she got better and better at the drums, meanwhile, her parents' marriage got worse and worse. Turns out aggressively whacking your drumsticks while you drown out your thoughts by playing the drums is a very good way to deal with all the negative emotions surrounding your parents’ divorce.

In high school she met PJ and Josie, and for the first time in years, she felt like she actually had friends. Sure, maybe Josie and PJ hung out a lot more than the three of them did, and PJ always sort of changed topics whenever Hazel brought up cool facts she found out space and NASA, and maybe she’d groan everytime Hazel mentioned Orcas, especially during the period where Orcas were frequently attacking and sinking yachts, but Hazel didn’t mind. That’s just what friends do.

She had brought up starting a band a few times, as she knew Josie could play the guitar, (How she handled the near constant feeling of sore fingertips and the sound of your nails scratching the metal strings the wrong way was beyond Hazel, but that’s besides the point) but every time she mentioned it would be cool or fun, Josie just said she’d be too scared, and PJ said it was lame.

So imagine Hazel’s surprise when PJ comes bursting into Hazel’s dorm one day during their sophomore year of college saying they all needed to start a band. Hazel was immediately onboard, though very confused as PJ had always said it was lame when Hazel brought it up, and initially Josie was against it, as she had stage fright, but PJ wouldn’t shut up about it, swearing up and down that if they started a band chicks would be lining up just to make eye contact with them, eventually wearing Josie down and getting her to say yes.

Hazel, of course, was the drummer, Josie played the guitar, and PJ, well, for a while PJ couldn’t decide what to do besides sing, and was totally against Hazel’s idea of playing the cowbell, claiming it was “dumb” and that “no girl looks at someone playing the cowbell and gets turned on.” Josie eventually got PJ to play the tambourine though, since PJ had awful stage presence, so she needed at least something to do while singing to distract from the fact that she had no clue how to perform on a stage. Hazel had tried giving her tips a few times, but PJ never accepted the help.

This led them to their current situation, as Hazel had pulled a few strings and got her classmate who worked at a local bowling alley to convince the manager to let Hazel and her friends play gigs once or twice a week there. PJ was convinced they were going to blow up and become super famous, but they had been playing at the bowling alley for a few months now, and the only thing that seemed to be “blowing up” was the bathroom during the occasional kids birthday parties that were thrown there. Maybe they’d have at least somewhat of a following if their band had a name of some kind, (PJ swore the right name would find them when the time was right, but that had yet to happen), or if the manager let them play during special event nights, when there were actually teenagers and young adults here, but alas, they were stuck with no name, no label, and playing on a cramped stage in a shitty bowling alley while middle-aged men met for their bowling team practice and complained about their wives.

“Hey guys, not to be like a buzzkill, but I don’t think the bowling alley is the best place to do gigs.” Hazel says as she stuffs her drum sticks into her bag.

“Yeah, I think Hazel’s right. I don’t think middle-aged men who are slowly balding at their weekly bowling team meetups are a great audience.” Josie says as she zips up the bag to her guitar case.

“What are you talking about? They love us! I literally saw Steve nodding his head to one of our songs earlier!” PJ says defensively as she scoffs and gestures to where the bowling team was sitting earlier.

“He wasn’t bobbing his head, he was drunk! He almost ate shit every time it was his turn to bowl!” Josie says as she rolls her eyes.

“Wait, seriously? How does that even work?” Hazel asks as she gives Josie a confused look from where she was sitting behind the drums.

“No, not seriously, Hazel! It’s a figure of speech!” PJ says as she rolls her eyes in annoyment.

“But you said-” Hazel says as she looks over at Josie with confusion.

“I meant he kept tripping and almost falling down. You know, like when someone falls on their face or something, people say they ate shit?” Josie says as she sighs as she cuts Hazel off and explains what she meant.

“Oooh. Yeah that makes more sense, you should’ve just said that.” Hazel says as she tilts her head back a bit in realization.

“Oh my god.” PJ says with an annoyed expression on her face. “Would you guys just trust me! We are going to get noticed! I swear! Maybe not… today… or super soon… But it will happen! There’s no way it won’t! And when we do, we’re going to get super rich, and super famous, and there’s going to be girls lining the block to see us, and everyone is going to wish they were us! I’m serious!” She says as she waves her arms around dramatically as she talks.

“PJ, that’s not going to happen! Stop lying to yourself! We are playing shitty gigs on shitty days of the week at a shitty bowling alley! We’re not going to get noticed! All this is doing is tanking my English grade because I’m practicing for these stupid gigs instead of writing my essays! It’s one thing if I was getting a C because people actually enjoyed and listened to our music, but the only people who are listening to us right now are a bunch of men who are going through midlife crises and give us weird looks! If I have to listen to them talk about Jimmy Buffet one more time I am going to lose my mind, PJ!” Josie says as she hoists the guitar case over her shoulder, clearly stressed out and looking a bit frazzled at the moment.

“Okay, I don’t think-” PJ starts to say, before Josie cuts her off.

“PJ, please! I can’t keep playing at bowling alleys!” Josie cries out dramatically.

“If you guys want I can reach out to my mom or something and see if-” Hazel starts to say, trying to suggest a way they might be able to play at places other than the bowling alley.

“No!” Both PJ and Josie snap at Hazel before turning back and continuing to argue with each other, causing her to wilt back in her seat a bit at the outburst.

“Okay, you know what? Fine! You win Josie! We’ll stop playing here, and we’ll figure out a name, or just stop the band all together and we’ll all die sad, miserable, lonely deaths!” PJ says as she snaps back at Josie. As they continue to argue, Hazel’s phone buzzes in her pocket, and she pulls it out to see a text from one of her classmates.

—

Emma (Calculus)

Hey! Random question, but you’re in a band, right?

—

That’s ironic. Hazel thinks to herself as she reads her classmates text and glances at PJ and Josie, who were still arguing, and looks back at her phone as she responds.

—

Hazel

Yeah! We just finished a gig! :)

—

Emma (Calculus)

Oh cool!

Are you guys free this Friday?

My brother’s throwing a party but the band he was going to have play canceled, would you guys be interested in playing?

You don't have to be good lol, everyone will probably be super drunk anyways, he just likes live bands.

—

Hazel’s eyes go wide as she reads the text messages, blinking a few times in disbelief before looking up at PJ and Josie, who were still bickering with one another. “Guys, guys!” Hazel calls out as she tries to get their attention. “Guys, would you shut up and listen to me?” Hazel yells as she rolls her eyes, finally getting their attention.

“What do you want now, Hazel?” PJ asks as she looks at Hazel with an annoyed expression.

“I found us a gig! It’s this friday! This girl in my calculus class said her brother is throwing a party, and asked if we wanted to play!” Hazel says with an excited grin as she holds up her phone, despite the fact that PJ and Josie definitely couldn’t read it from where they were standing.

“Seriously? Holy shit! You said yes right?” PJ asks, both a shocked and excited expression on her face.

“No, because I wanted to make sure we were all free before-” Hazel starts to say before PJ cuts her off.

“Obviously we’re free! It’s a fucking party! See Josie? What’d I fucking tell you! I told you we’d get noticed!” PJ says as she hits Josie in the arm excitedly.

“We didn’t get noticed, PJ, Hazel just has friends.” Josie says as she gives PJ a look.

“So? That’s still technically getting noticed! We’re being asked to play at a party! I mean you just said you didn’t want to keep playing here, well here’s our chance! We have to do this! Just think of how many people are going to be at the party! I mean there’s gotta be at least a few girls who think we’re hot!” PJ says defensively as she rolls her eyes.

“Wait, are you only doing this to get with girls?” Hazel asks as she gives PJ a confused look. “I thought you actually wanted to be in a band and get famous and stuff.” She says as she frowns a bit.

“Yeah, I do! Because when you’re rich and famous everybody loves you and wants to be with you, and everyone who doesn’t is jealous of you and wants to be you!” PJ says with exasperation.

“Well I don’t think everyone-” Hazel starts to say, before PJ cuts her off.

“Okay, this is besides the point! We have three days before we play at the party, we need to figure out what we’re performing and find super hot outfits!” PJ says as she rolls her eyes and lets out an annoyed groan.

“Oh my god, there’s going to be so many people.” Josie says nervously as she looks away, eyes wide with fear.

“Yeah, so many people who are going to love us! This is our big break! After this we are going to become a party staple, and everyone is going to want us to play at their parties, and then from there, it’s only a matter of time before we get a record deal and become a global hit and the whole world knows our name!” PJ says excitedly as she waves her hands while she talks.

“If we’re going to play at parties and be super big and famous, don’t we kind of need a name?” Hazel says as she thinks, a confused look on her face as she looks back and forth between PJ and Josie, who both seem to remember they had yet to figure out a band name.

“We’ll do that tomorrow! We’ll all meet up and figure out a name for the band! It’ll be easy!” PJ says as she shrugs and looks at Josie and Hazel.

I hope you guys like the first chapter lol. I'm trying to update as frequently as I can but I do have work and college so bare with me lol. also lmk if you want me to make a tag list!! dividers from @saradika and @animatedglittergraphics-n-more graphic made by me lol

#hazel callahan #hazel bottoms #bottoms hazel #hazel x reader #bottoms movie #ruby cruz #hazel callahan x reader #ruby cruz x reader #danicamaximoff #hazel callahan fluff #hazel callahan smut #rockstar au #hazel callahan x you #bottoms 2023

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grimmcheems · 2 months

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Rest In Peace Toriyama 🕊️💫🐉

DragonBall has always had a place in my heart for the way it was ever-present in my childhood. I grew up loathing weekend mornings because my brother would always drag me out of bed to watch it with him. I suppose that’s why it’s extra special for me, it was a simpler time when me and my brother could just sit and watch what came next in the current arc. The days always felt warmer then, but now I’m grown.

I’m glad Toriyama made this series and ignited something in me, though his passing was harsh and unimaginable for most of us, I hope he has found peace in knowing how many people he’s inspired to be better, and the many that he will continue to inspire. I wish his family healing and condolences for their sudden loss.

.^An extra illustrating what those Saturday mornings felt like. Dragon Soul was my alarm clock for the better part of my childhood. (It’s also my fav op)

I remember we even had a vhs tape of two specific episodes in which the bunny boss ended up on the moon. I always had bulma’s personality embedded into my head whenever I thought of her in that bunny suit.

I never appreciated that time then as much as I do now. Maybe it’s Goku’s loving nature and fatherly care that left an imprint on me and kept me from forgetting him, or maybe it was the way my brother was obsessed with the series, either way he was somehow always in the back burner of my mind. I even remember having to play with my brother when he got Budokai Tenkaichi 3 for his PlayStation. He even bugged me to wake up when Super came out (though we had already graduated and i would be resting on my days off from work, he was also only visiting for the month) and tried to get me to watch it with him, but Super never really had the same appeal to me as the og series.

Perhaps the connection it has to my brother is what draws me to it time and time again, I feel as though I can’t understand him as well anymore after we’ve graduated and he’s moved on with his life and out of the house. I never thought this random shounen series my brother forced me to watch every Saturday morning of our childhood would have the effect it has on me now. It was last year that I decided to rewatch the entire series since I figured I didn’t actually know what was ever going on, I was just always intrigued by the action and the characters. Surprisingly my child brain remembered the arcs pretty well and I could just have it playing the background and know what was going on for the most part.

Did I mention that my brother also collected the dvd series? Lmao. I was so hype when the Broly Movie came out and when we watched it it felt like I regained that connection to my brother momentarily.

It also inspired me to draw when I was in elementary school, though I thought of it as something I could show off rather than take it seriously like I do now. I never thought I’d draw again after middle school until I got to high school and got back into it. It wasn’t until last year that I first drew something dragon ball related since elementary school, and it felt so surreal to look at how far I’ve come in my art journey.

It was never intentional for me to start drawing dragonball, it was just stuck in the back of my head and it wouldn’t leave me alone until I brought my ideas to life by sketching them out. I literally have two drafts DB related as I’m typing this.😅 oddly enough there’s many things I think about when I think about dragon ball, but they are too many to list. There’s just so much I love about it and so many characters I love. The thoughts never leave me alone when I come up with an idea or headcanon for them and it’s actually so hard for me to try and forget them that I always give in and do something with the idea. It will always be a part of me.

I wasn’t planning on making a painting of Goku ever, yet here I am. I don’t really paint either, which makes the time it took me to make this that much more surprising. I wanted to portray an ease in his expression, something peaceful. I hope it comes across that way, he somehow looks like he’s sleeping and it’s funny because I don’t think I’ve ever really seen Goku relax like this at any point.

#illustration #anime #digital art #drawing #sketch #painting #digital painting #dragon ball goku #goku #son goku #dragon ball #dragon ball art #akira toriyama #fly high #rest in peace #art #dragon ball z #dragon ball z kai #kakarot

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skrunksthatwunk · 3 months

Text

went back to the sketchbooks around when i was going through yyh for the first time in 2019 and found a pile of near-yearly sticky note updates about my relationship with the series next to my first yyh doodles, a page full of kuwabaras. thought it'd be fun to share

+ more thoughts and old yyh art below

(it's crazy i didn't find any kurama-centric pages for months bc i think he's the one i doodled in the margins of class notes and stuff the most. his hair's pwetty and he gives me the least trouble outta any of the main 4)

something i noticed while skimming the two sketchbooks i took these from was how mean i was to myself at the time about my art. i guess it hit me more because i don't really spend hours going through my old sketchbooks over and over to track my progress and growth like i used to quite often. i guess it was only a little after when my self esteem was lowest (8th grade, tale as old as time), but... idk. i knew back then that i'd grown a lot in the few years since i started drawing more seriously (that's why i looked through my art so much), but like... i guess that never translated into being nice to myself about it. i ended up going back through about ten more sketchbooks to find more yyh art, and in the coming years i'm glad to say that negativity in the margins went away. hell yeah

but even so, my love for yyh was a constant and effusive thing, as it is now. it's probably the oldest of my current media interests. i watched myself get into rgg and develop my ocs and watched others fade in and out, watched my style loop back on itself and go all over the place, passed by pages of writing about crushes and album releases and gender discoveries and my grandparents dying, all surrounded by little drawings of the characters i love. including kuwabara in a maid dress right next to my dead grandma grief rambling that one time (no i'm not kidding. my grandma died in like late 2020 and the page where i poured my heart out after finding out she was gone just trying to process everything had one with catboy maid dress kuwabara directly opposite it, who i'd drawn like the evening before she died in her sleep. he killed my grandma from like 100 miles away he was that powerful. that wasn't even the last time i drew him like that and i don't even care about catboys or maid dresses much. i think it was just a bigger meme and he was the guy i most associated with cats. i put that man in a situation and he fucking got her because the book couldn't contain him. some victor frankenstein shit. anyway)

i took about 150 pictures, most with multiple sketches. i decided not to add any more though bc 1) i posted some of them on old accounts but i don't remember which ones, and tbh i value my anonymity a little too much 2) All Of The Pictures Turned Out Bad in ways i don't feel like getting into but just trust me it's like 6 layers of fucked up illegible image bullshit 3) i found it hard to narrow it down to things i felt were indicative of the development or interesting or anything like that. idk. i figured it was an interesting exercise for me and it probably wouldn't really mean anything to anyone else. and that's ok :) it was nice anyway. i mostly mention it to be like Oh My God i've drawn these guys a lot and i STILL don't know what i'm doing... :| it's fun

however i did transcribe the notes i left:

7/9/19: yo it's been less than a week & i'm on ep. 80 wtf i love this show

8/14/20: 1/2way thru my 3rd watch (first dub, first [with older sibling]) & honestly still love it & kuwabara being the first one i drew makes me happy

7/28/21: i'm watching it w/ [younger sibling] now! 4th(ish) watch, 2nd time through the dub, which is so much better than the sub really elevates the text. we're at the semifinals of the DT, which means this is technically my 5th time through yyh up until that point but eh semantics anyway i still love & obsess over yyh! <3

1/14/24 (present day): hey, i'm rewatching yyh for the.. idk 5th or 6th time. still love it & never stopped. now i'm writing fic & drawing & posting about it. i have friends i talk to about it. [both siblings] have seen it. so much has changed, and so little, but it made me sad seeing how much i insulted my own art. i love you 2019 me. god knows you needed it

[+ this drawing]:

anyway. forever fornever. if you even care

#that's all. just kind of a personal post i thought was neat. skrunklore #skrunkart #yyh #yu yu hakusho #you can really feel the 14 y/o in a lot of the little notes and stuff but that too is part of the growth and change im trying to celebrate.#ripping my fingernails off about it but it needs to be done #also the hearts are because they love each other. and also me in like a cheering you on kinda way #ok more lore but around jr year i started feeling like my art was getting worse or at least stagnating and i kind of wished i could go back #to the era where a lot of that art is from bc there were little things i was better at and also bc i was much more prolific and adventurous #and while i'm sympathetic to it looking back after another couple of years it's like nah. no i was still growing i was just too close to se #like i'll be like oughh i haven't grown at all in years >:(( and then i'll look at the art i made over the course of 2023 and go oh nvm lol #some of it was more 'getting back into the swing of things' + traditional and tech issues being resolved but there was also growth #there is also stuff to be proud of and there always is and there always will be. that goes for you too reader #no matter what your art does or does not look like. i guess that's part of why im posting this too #part of what got me into visual art was seeing how people's art changed (sketchbook tours). it's cool and seeing that learning process so #well preserved and so easily analyzed kinda activated something in my brain. i think it got me past a lot of the 'im just not talented'#stuff a lotta ppl have that keeps them from drawing or sharing it or whatever. anyway art's cool i love art. gonna go draw now probably :D #ALSO really funny watching the way i drew myself change. all in ways that make sense but still funny to me. long hair glasses girl you'd #probably keel over if you saw what we look like now. hell yeah

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thyandrawrites · 1 year

Note

https://thyandrawrites.tumblr.com/post/614692078547582976/i-havent-cried-since-my-tear-ducts-got-burned

Just read your meta about this ^ <3

And It made me question why the league has given up on changing their society into a healthier one. I mean I can see why they did give up on it but I guess theres just a part of me that wishes they didnt. What do they think will happen when they show the world how corrupt it is and do succeed in destroying Heros and all that. We talk about them wanting to destroy Heros and their status quo but what do they think will happen once they manage to do that? Just because they destroyed status quo, I don’t see anything changing for the better in the end because the villains aren’t purposely fighting the heros for the sake of a better society🤔. One reason why they destroy is because they no longer see a future for themselves but jeez it makes me sad that they think that way and making everything worse by destroying everything around them in the war right now. The heros really need to step up right now and help them.

You're right that they're not seeking to destroy to build something better atop the wreckage. Not anymore, at least. But I think it's important to point out that while their goals weren't exactly constructive to begin with, their current destruction is an escalation of their original objectives.

Like, Dabi is the most obvious example. Up until the war arc, he still had some sort of lingering idealism. He made a nationwide broadcast aimed at civilians to push them into thinking with their own heads and making society better by ridding it of all fake heroes. It's only when society throws the abuse he suffered back in his face by siding with Enji that he realizes that's never going to work, that people will always "live to laugh" in the face of his trauma and step on his need for justice.

Same with Toga and Shigaraki. They tried explaining themselves over and over, but not a single time were their points ever heard. Toga tried to get Ochako and Deku to acknowledge that heroes took the lives of a precious friend and showed no remorse and suffered no consquences. Neither of them acknowledged her suffering, and instead kept addressing her as a love-obsessed freak. Shigaraki told Deku and the heroes that the society that heroes built has always rejected him, started from his own household. He was locked out of the house as punishment for refusing to obey arbitrary and despotic rules that didn't value him as a person. The heroes built him a flying coffin as punishment for refusing to die quietly, and called him an "it", making it clear they also don't see him as a person.

I mean. Draw your conclusions.

At some point they did seek a dialogue, but it was only met with even more rejection. Imho that's important to acknowledge because all three of them became villains precisely because society rejected them over and over, made them scapegoats, and then called them monsters and tried to put them down like wild animals.

So while I don't see lashing out with even more violent and destruction as a viable solution... I can totally understand where they're coming from.

it... really shouldn't be on them to make a good enough case for why children shouldn't be fucking abused, for the heroes to finally start seeing them as human beings... and yet...

I think it makes sense why the League would have enough of being pummeled to near-death every time they try a dialogue, and instead decided to hit back just as hard. I mean, obviously that's just repeating the endless cycle of violence (it's the same old 'an eye for an eye'), and we can clearly see how it's only making the Lov trio's self-loathing fester and bring them further and further away from their origins, but. At this point, honestly, why should they make things easier on the heroes?

#I'm def biased here because I relate to them more than I ever will to the kids but #it's so frustrating to watch the kids rn #because they will probably need to see their villain foils be on death's doorstep before they realize #that something needs to change #cause right now they're stuck punching them to near-death themselves #and completely missing the point that every fist #brings them further and further away from the end of this damned war #ali replies #bnha #spoilers #like one common take I see often is that #the kids should save the villains asap #but personally I think the kids should just. stop punching them with the force of a thousand suns first #like empathy totally is key here. but like #did we all miss that fighting shouto burned dabi's remaining healthy skin off or

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grineerios · 7 months

Text

9 people you'd like to get to know better

Tagged by @glitxd! :0 I'm honored!

Last song: Either The Duviri Paradox, On Corroded Wings, or the Joy Spiral theme. Last non-warframe song is likely either Threat - Waterfront Complex or Threat - Rubicon from Rain World.

Favorite color: Blue-Grey! I like blue, I like grey, I love blue-grey. This has absolutely not led to me eternally bouncing between having a blue Kullervo and a grey Kullervo. /sarcasm

Currently Watching: Whatever tickles my fancy! Mostly shitposts or long-form content, like video essays.

Last Movie: I don't really watch movies, so here, have a board game review, or a cool video essay :>

Currently Reading: Databases for Monster Hunter Generations Ultimate and Monster Hunter Frontier. Last book I read was likely the D&D 5e Player's Handbook.

Sweet/Spicy/Savory: Typically savory! Although my preferences are very fluid.

Relationship Status: Married, in a queerplatonic relationship!

Current Obsession: Warframe. An answer that surprised absolutely no one. ...I am a little more excited than usual over Monster Hunter though, at the moment. Partially because of the Tokyo Game Show, and partially because of the MH tabletop RPG I run.

Last Thing I Googled: Approximately 18 searches for 'Railjack' over the course of an hour. ... Am I OK?

Currently Working On: Several tasks in Warframe (getting more Entrati Lanthorns, Gauss parts, level 5 with Ostrons, Prime and Necramech sets for friends, etc.), digitally drawing a new Solaris OC, making fursuits with my spouse, and trying to write down lore and story ideas for Kaine and Callan before my brain decides to feed them to the mental equivalent of the helminth, never to be seen again. :')

Tagging: Obligatory @nixnmatch ping, but I'm extending an invitation to anyone who sees this and wants to participate. Y'all are awesome. :D

#grineerios has answers!#<- technically #personal nonsense #not warframe

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peejsocks · 2 years

Note

johnny,steveo + bam (seperate)dating an artist reader who's always drawing them and them being super sweet and supportive of it (fluff)

she her pronouns im dumb :))

a/n: sorry it took me so long love

disclaimers/tags: none. just fluff

johnny

at first, he doesn’t understand if it’s a hobby or your job

you tell him it’s both and he goes “oh. okay.”

he struggles to understand at the beginning because you keep hiding your notebook from him

until he catches you in the act

you joined him for an episode of wildboyz, currently sitting in the passenger seat of a van capturing the view with your pencil

he scares the shit out of you, head poking in through the window

“sweetheart, that’s incredible!” with the goofiest grin you had ever seen

johnny begs for you to show him your drawings all the way home

when you finally arrive in your place, silently taking a case you kept some of your favorite drawings in and setting it on top of the dinner table, you’re nervous

his brows furrow at the sight of countless drawings of him and you blush

“can I keep ‘em?”

he keeps at least one rough draft of his profile around him at all times

the bedside table in his house, the one in yours, his wallet. the inside pocket of his favorite jacket.

every time you meet, now, he asks if you have any new drawings to show him

whenever he likes one too much, you have to fight to decide who gets to keep it

“johnny, it’s good for practice, I need to look back at my work to see how I’m improving” “that’s really selfish, what about my needs?”

you begin keeping the rough drafts and giving him all the finished pieces

it’s too flattering finding your drawings hanging up in his trailer on set to resist

steve-o

the first time you draw him, you can’t wait to show him

“hun, what do you think?” “is that me? oh, that’s gnarly, dude. look at the detail!”

turns out he’s excellent at critiquing, giving surprisingly helpful insights

constructive criticism is his specialty, always managing to be supportive and impartial

actually, steve is the one to encourage you to get into an art school

“you’re already so good, what’s the harm?”

soothing you when projects stress you out, sitting next to you and calmly asking which part you’re struggling with

sometimes you can’t help but get annoyed, feeling overwhelmed with your art becoming a chore

in those moments, he’ll plant a kiss behind your ear and step away saying “just remember, I’ll probably love it”

constantly having your work shoved in people’s faces by your boyfriend

“dude, look at this! the complementing colors, the depth, it’s so pretty, right? we should fucking frame this”

he’s using the same words he’s heard you use before, incorrectly. it’s very, very cute

bam

possibly the most supportive

he thinks it’s incredibly cool that you have a real talent

sometimes he seems more excited about it than you

he buys supplies you don’t even need

“bam, this is like too pro, I’m alright with what I have” “I saw it online, trust me, just try it”

drives you to lessons, periodic classes you take at the local community college

nags you about what you’re learning

“nothing really. just working on what I already know.”

“what? we should find something better, you could really go far with this”

definitely has you design stuff for cky and jackass

lets you doodle on him and surprises you by turning it into a tattoo

turns into a puddle when he finds you drawing him, saying you make him look a lot better than real life

“just draw what I see” “you’re so obsessed with me, it’s creepy”

not so secretly loves it

you catch him looking at the ones you gift him with often

“i look rad”

giggling, you answer “you are rad, babe.”

#johnny knoxville #bam margera #steveo #jackass fanfic #jackass headcanons

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asleepycatinabox · 27 days

Text

Hi there! I'm Sleepy :) Or sleepy, if you like lowercase better.

Thanks for coming to my little art corner! I appreciate you a lot ✿

I'm very new to tumblr (and having an art social media account/blog in general), so feel free to drop any tips if you want :)

However, i'd like to ask you not to give me art criticisms. Right now i'm making art just for the fun of it and i'm very glad i can! If you don't like something, feel free to just ignore its existence.

✶ Blog info ✶

My tags list:

#my art - my art tag

#reblog - my reblog tag

#other's art - my tag for other people's art

✶ Other stuff ✶

English isn't my first language, so don't be surprised if you find any errors in my texts :)

My current fandoms: mostly tf2. I'm a bit too obsessed with the mercs. Also mgs, though I've only played through mgr, mgs4 and mgsv. Not really in the mgs state of mind rn, but i may draw something about it from time to time, who knows :p

I am quite shy and nervous about posting stuff online, but i want to gain more confidence. That's part of the reason why i decided to at least try having a tumblr art blog! :) After all, i did get over my fear of playing tf2 with strangers (I'm talking about casual - when i first tried the game around june 2023, i only played in training mode with bots for a long time. My first time trying casual was in september, but it wasn't until the january-february of 2024 that i actually got myself to play with people. And get over my fear, eventually! It only took around a month :)), so i know it's totally doable with practice :D

Thank you for being here and i wish you a great day ☻

#pinned post #about myself #artists on tumblr #lgbtqia+ friendly space btw #i am bi myself #so yeah #thinking about what to write in tags is addicting already...

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gloww0rms · 10 months

Note

Any tips on getting motivated to draw? Currently in a pickle.

ooh not gonna lie I never actually really… Decide to draw? I usually just get the feeling that I’ll explode if I don’t and sometimes a week or more will go by where I don’t touch paper or procreate bc I just don’t feel like drawing. I think the trick is to watch something and become obsessed with it to the point where it puts images in your brain that you have to get out 🙏 setting goals might help though! I’m currently trying to work on my colours and I wanna get better at composition and dynamic poses so I try to make things that help me practice that but the subject is usually something I’m interested in so I’m more excited to make stuff!! I hope this helps at least a little :)

#asks

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carewyncromwell · 1 year

Photo

“So prepare for the coup of the century... Be prepared for the murkiest scam!”

~“Be Prepared (cover)” by Man on the Internet

x~x~x~x

So I thought it was high time I tried drawing Carewyn’s grandfather Charles Cromwell again, so as to practice drawing older characters...and in doing so, I decided to make a proper comparison post pitting Charles up against his game-canon counterpart: the “Leader” of R as imagined by Jam City, Peregrine.

Yeah, uh...I think you can see why I was a little disappointed by the direction Jam City went with.

In case the text isn’t easy to read, here’s a transcript copy --

Charles Cromwell VS Peregrine

Evil Patriarch // Dead-beat Dad

“Mob Boss” type // “Darth Vader” wannabe

Works in the Wizengamot // Works as a “tracker”

Powerful Legilimens // ...Yeah, no

Rich AF // ...Also no

Social connections galore // ...Still no

Gaslighter Extraordinaire // LOL, he *wishes*

Has competent underlings // *SNORT*

Emotionally abusive // Neglectful

Runs R with an iron fist // Can’t control his subordinates??

Torture and death // Wampus Cats and cursed CD’s

Dark Empath // Charmer (?)

Widower // Divorcee

Obsessed with control // Obsessed with revenge

Would hurt a child // (Does too but denies doing it)

Blood Purist // Anti-Death Eater Extremist

Commands 50+ people // ...Five? Ten, maybe?

In my personal headcanon, I see Peregrine as the original leader of R when Charles first discovered it, only for his supposed right-hand man and mentor figure Charles to backstab him and get him assassinated by a younger and much more trusting Patricia Rakepick so that the head of the Cromwell Clan could take full control of the Cabal, its members, and its activities. According to Rakepick’s account of the event, as told to Carewyn in the still unfinished, grah Good!Rakepick AU --

“I immediately went to Charles Cromwell and told him [about how R had ordered my cohorts and me to attack you]. I had thought that he, being your grandfather, would be furious, regardless of his bad blood with your mother. And, at first, it seemed like I was right. Charles was very displeased when I told him that R had ordered me to attack you. He confided to me that he was concerned about the direction R’s leadership was taking – pointing out that, since I’d joined the Cabal, its members had been using more and more violence to get their way – and he asked for my support in helping him supplant the current leader and put an end to the way he did things. I stupidly accepted. In an attempt to right the sinking ship that I’d joined, I helped Charles assassinate R’s previous leader. I didn’t even know his name. It was only after Charles took over…that I realized what a big mistake I’d made. The violence R had been using wasn’t even planned by the man in charge – it had been Charles who had advised him to use force, to begin with. Charles hadn’t wanted any harm to come to you…but he was more than willing to make Jacob think that he would harm you – and that you, eventually, would also think he would harm Jacob. That way he could keep both of you as his pawns – using your love for each other to keep you in line. And worst of all…he was less upset that R had been willing to hurt a child…than he was that I had told him about it with the intent to try to stop it.”

With this cult of followers now fully at his disposal, Charles had a valuable new tool he could use to re-exert control over the family members who had tried to escape from him...namely, his daughter Lane and her children, Jacob and Carewyn.

Have a magical day, everyone! Much love! 🖤

(LOL, adding the individual frames of the GIF here, for those who want a better look at them. 😏)

#hphm #hogwarts mystery #charles cromwell #peregrine #mc's father #art #my art #patricia rakepick #carewyn cromwell #jacob cromwell #lane cromwell

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btskitten7 · 1 year

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- Arrangements - || introduction

‘ ｃｏｆｆｅｅ & ｃｏｎｖｅｒｓａｔｉｏｎｓ ’

➜ fic pairing: female oc x maknae line, fem oc x Jimin. Hinted poly relationship.

➜current wc: 1.7k

➜genres: fluffy, angsty, smut

➜ratings: G (M for the rest of the fic)

➜warnings: none really, just a fluffy Jimin who’s a little obsessed with you.

"Waaaaah she's so pretty," Jimin said, plopping himself in the chair.

Jimin walked into the café you happened to be working at to grab a drink on his way to practice, something he did often. Today he decided to try out a different café since the one he had been going to is very busy now. "Let's try this place out" Jimin said, smiling at the cute but simple design the café carried.

Your café was small but you definitely took pride in it. You and your best friend dumped all of your savings into this place, you had to see the fruit of it's labor. Jimin was pleased at how clean and homey it was. Excited to try out the treats and drinks, he stood in line waiting for his turn. That's when he saw you for the first time. "O-oh" was all he could say.

You took his breath away. The way you stood behind the counter greeting every customer, making small talk, ensuring everyone's comfort and they're pleased. There you were, flashing that beautiful smile that could make anyone comfortable and fall in love. He got so nervous, there was no possible way that he could talk to you without making an idiot of himself. He slipped out of line and decided to go to the original café he normally went to across the street. You hadn't noticed and why would you? Your customers meant a lot to you but you didn't necessarily pay attention if they came or they went, unless they were regulars.

Standing in line at the café across the street his eyes caught you coming outside to clean the outdoor furniture and windows.

He never thought he would say this but, a woman in a uniform was sexy.

The way your black skinny jeans fit on your hips, thighs, and fat ass had him in a trance. It didn't make anything any better when you turned around and he saw your front half was just as beautiful as your back half. He tried to look away...

But he couldn't. You were just too beautiful to be real. Why was he so drawn to you? What made you so breathtaking? Getting lost in his thoughts and in your features, he didn't hear the woman standing in front of him, ready to take his order. "Um, sir?" The cashier in front of him captured all his thoughts, he looked at her. "How may I help you?" She smiled nervously.

He nodded "o-oh I'm sorry, um can I get an iced Americano with cream?" handing her his card.

Like clockwork, his eyes lingered back to you.

And they did for the next four months. He kept going to that café, right across the street from your café, just to see your pretty face. He would even go back for lunch and after he got off, just to see you. Some days he would muster the courage to wave to you and other days he would be shy. When he didn't see your car, he would stop in your café, just to make sure you were working, if not he'll go home.

~~~~~~~~~~~

"You're technically stalking her Min." Namjoon said writing in his journal. Jimin' eyes got wide as he looked at his Hyung.

"It really looks like that? Do you think she thinks I'm stalking her??" Jimin asked. That wasn't his intention, he doesn't want you to think he's going to hurt you or anything. "She probably hasn't notice you yet, which is another good thing because if she did she'll probably call the cops on you." Jimin's face fell.

He didn't know which hurt him more, you thinking he's weird for stalking you or you not noticing him even if he was. " I only know her work schedule, I don't know her name, I don't know where she lives, I don't even know if she has a boyfriend." Jimin said.

Joon sighed.

"You don't know any of that but you're still adamant about seeing her everyday '' Joon raised his eyebrow and looked at min. "It's weird I know but it's just something that's drawing me to her, I just can't help it. I'm going to talk to her, I promise I'm going to talk to her." Min said, standing up, throwing his jacket on.

"I'm going to talk to her, I'm gonna do it" he said running out the door.

~~~~~~~~~~

Jimin headed towards the café, cheery as can be.

"I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna talk to her" he said, marching to your café at the same time you were walking out. "Yah Y/n please be careful, they're heavy! Call if you need help!" Your best friend yelled as you headed out the door to grab the boxes of supplies . "Alright alright! I got it!"

"This is my chance." Jimin thought to himself.

"Do you need some help?" Jimin asked softly. Your loose strands of hair flew out of your bun as you struggled with the box.

"Ahhh please? I didn't think it would be this heavy." You said placing the box back down, sighing. Jimin chuckled lightly as you caught your breath.

"I don't mind," he said smiling, picking up the boxes with ease and placing them onto your counter for your friend to sort through. You clapped softly and smiled.

"Anything else I can help you with." Jimin asked, looking over at you. His cheeks were becoming red a tomato, ultimately making him even cuter. "No that's all, thank you so much, would you like a drink? Or anything? It's in the house." You said smiling. Jimin's heart threatened to burst right then and there.

"Fuck, she's so beautiful, what do I say? " he thought.

"Say yes you idiot"

He looked back at you and smiled, "sure, sure, b-but I have to g-go back to practice but but but I'll be back. I promise" he said heading out the door in a hurry causing you and your friend to giggle. "He's cute," your friend said. "Yeah very cute"

The next day Jimin went to the café right across the street from yours. It was the only one that was open, yours doesn't open until 8 am. It's 7;30. He didn't know why but he wanted to make a good impression on you, it really doesn't matter what time he came in for a free drink but maybe it'll make him look good? He headed inside and sat at the table closest to the door after getting him a small coffee since he was very tired.

"May I ask you something?" An older lady came by and sat with Jimin. He straightened up and nodded. "Of course ma'am" the older lady looked over at you arriving at your café, probably to prepare for the opening. His eyes wondered to you again too.

"Why haven't you talked to her yet?"

Jimin's eyes grew and he started fidgeting. "I don't know what you're talking about ma'am" she smiled brightly. "She's very beautiful huh? You just may be her type" she said, stirring her tea.

A small smile crept onto Jimin's face as he once again looked over at you.

"No way. She probably already has a boyfriend... maybe even married." He smiled softly and looked back at the woman. She tilted her head, eyes still glued to her tea. "What makes you think that? She told you that?." She said, Jimin quickly shook his head, waving his hands.

"No no, I'm just saying if I was her man, there's no way she wouldn't have a ring on her finger or something proving that she's my girl" Jimin smiled again.

How could he feel this way about you? Without knowing your name. What if you weren't who you portrayed?

That didn't matter. He wanted to figure that out for himself. The woman smiled. "Oh? Well, you’ll never know unless you try." the woman chuckled.

He nodded "That’s true. I hate to admit it but, I fall really hard, really fast. I just want to be with that person all the time... It's not even just relationships, even friendships... I want to just be in their space. Only if they're comfortable. I just want so much of that person that sometimes it may be too much.." she nodded. "I think you have a short young man, she might need something like that. I think you’re her type, maybe." things went quiet for a little while until Jimin realized.

She knew he was watching you. What if she told you about him and you think he’s weird. What if she knows you?

"Excuse me Noona?" He asked, grabbing her attention. "you know if I had a shot or at least you think I have a shot..You even think that I'm her type.. do you know her?" Jimin asked.

"Well, she’s had that cafe for years now," she smiled looking over at Jimin. “I know her quite well” . Jimin's whole heart dropped as he realized she could be your mother.

"I'm sorry for looking at your daughter every day. I'm not a stalker I promise. I don't know her name, or where she lives. I just know she works there and she's usually there from 8 am to 7 pm B-BUT not that I'm stalking her" Jimin rambled, terrified that he now may never get to speak to you. The woman laughed at how cute Jimin was when he was flustered. She took his hands. "I’m not her mother, but many would say we have that type of relationship since I’m close to both her and her mother. Just go talk to her. Okay? I think She'll like you. Now she can be a little 'too-hot-to-handle' but she's a sweetheart and she has a big one, that's been trampled on..." She stated becoming stern and protective "She's been through so much and still smiles so big, so please understand she will get upset, she will walk away, just please be patient with her if she doesn't accept you so quickly."

"I'm not saying this to scare you off, but I'm saying this if you really don't have any intention of making her happy or getting to know her... then please leave her alone. Don't add on any more stress. Erase her from your mind.." Jimin nodded looking back at you.

He looked back at you mother and stood. "I don’t know where things would go, if I’m being honest, I’m still a little nervous to go talk to her but if something happens between us then you have my word, I’ll give her everything I have to give. " Jimin smiled waving bye to the woman and headed towards your cafe.

This was the start of something new in your life.

#bts fanfic #bts imagine #bts jhope #bts jungkook #bts smut #bts #bts smut drabble #bts angst #bts x reader #bts jimin #bts taehyung

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jamsouls · 10 months

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it’s officially been a week since i started playing animal jam so for my first post on this blog (since actually deciding to use this url as a gaming blog lol) here’s a tour of my characters so far + the backstories i made for them :~D

jellyjoy (they/any) — my first + main character!! basically bear (from bear in the big blue house) but a magical anteater <3 i haven’t worked out much more of a backstory for them yet (which is surprising given that they’re my main) but i love them so so so soooo much

puppydove (she/her) — baby brachiosaur butterfly princess! she was my first ever prehistoric egg hatch :”~D i was gonna level her up enough to make her playable but… then i realized i don’t actually like the brachio avatar model LOL so she is staying put in her current form <3

redwhistle (she/it) — ruby tier polar bear!! she was a wind up toy teddy bear who got zapped w a ray that turned it sentient and gave it a permanent glow. i uhhhh splurged on her quite a bit bc the moment i saw her i fell in love but those saps were extremely well spent 🤪

the evenbeast (any except she/her) — an absolute CREATURE i love him so so so much. like look at those RIDICULOUSLY huge feet im so obsessed 😭😭😭 i LOVEEEE watching him run it makes me grin like an idiot. anyway the evenbeast is an ancient ghost monster thing from mount shiveer who haunts jamaa! im gonna try to draw it to get a better sense of their anatomy but basically the panda bear face is actually his mane (the t*rantula mask is his real face) and the two side spikes on the spiked collar are its ears hehe >:~D im rly proud of how they came out… i rly want to figure out how to use clothing items to make unusual creatures and this gave me a lot of confidence!

#purrs #animal jam #jamblr #<- hello jamblr community i am excited to join your ranks at last <3

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softmutt444 · 5 months

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9 people you'd like to get to know better!

i was tagged by @burnticedlatte and @yet-another-heathen thank u!! <3

Last song: seeing hozier in a few months so ive had him on repeat 😩🫶

Favorite color: i can never decide on one specific color but my favorites are burnt orange, teal and darkish green shades!

Last movie/TV show: Nimona, Cyberpunk: Egderunners and Life on Our Planet

Currently watching: Jujutsu Kaisen, Scott Pilgrim Takes Off and Vikings (rewatching cause im making my bf watch it)

Sweet/spicy/savory: Savory! Ive never had much of a sweet tooth and my stomach issues wont let me have spicy food even tho its so good

Relationship status: Living with my long-term bf <3 but also pining over someone on another continent that barely acknowledges i exist 😩

Current obsession: some non whump related ocs and painting with gouache (i tend to forget i can draw and then just dont for months 💀)

Last google search: bookdepository alternatives europe (im just trying to find someplace that ships to where i live and wont cost me an entire inheritance and 3 organs + tax)

Tagging ✨️ @fern-writes-whump @zirconiumpants and whoever sees this and wants to do it!! :^)

I think most people i was gonna tag already got tagged cause it took me a hot minute but oh well 😩 if yall also already got tagged sorry!!

#i love tag games they are so fun!!#but i always forget to do them immediately and then it takes me ages

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inkofamethyst · 10 months

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July 2, 2023

!!! Song of the Summer !!! On a Journey by Theresa Ambat (I’m in love with the vocals, I’m in love with the instrumentation, I’m in love with the production, I’m in love with the themes and lyrics, and that Night Vale episode’s weather (222 (which is my birthday which is kinda wild)) was so unbelievably timely for this mental space that I’m in right now (bonus: You Sure Are Something by Theresa Ambat has also been a favorite these past couple of weeks, got me kickin my legs like a romantic fr))

Rules for a good gelato place (as I learned from the best):

must not be piled high like a mountain in the tin!!! that means there’s air in it. the person must scoop downward into the gelato tin where the gelato is level or below the rim

several flavors available!!! this probably means they know their stuff and aren’t just some random sweets place that decided one day to sell four or five flavors of gelato to attract a few more customers

non dairy in the fruit flavors!!! fruit flavors should have no milk, just ask if they do and walk out if the person behind the counter admits to the crime

mostly muted colors!!! pistachio should be greenish-brown, not bright green. brighter colors means they’ve likely added coloring artificially (though some of the fruit flavors like berry and mango tend to be brighter)

You know, I’ve never really put thought into decorating a room before. Like, in both my childhood homes, I had purple walls but nothing hung on them. I mean I have a dresser-vanity and some whiteboards, and I used to have a fishtank and for a short time some butterflies pasted around the place, but literally no decor of my own choosing. When I moved into my dorm freshman year, I got some canvas prints from amazon and went with a gray/mint theme, and it was cute and pretty and looked like a lot of the other dorm pictures I’d seen online, but it wasn’t really me, if you know what I mean. I remember a few months (a year?) into living in my apartment when I put up my red starfleet academy banner and stared at it for an hour in awe of how amazing it made me feel. It remained my only piece of decoration for the entirety of the time I lived there. I don’t want live like that in my next place, but I do want to expound on that energy.

I have ~ideas~ both for common and personal spaces. In common spaces, I know I want to have a fake bouquet on the table. Maybe switching them out occasionally. In my room, I think I want to go for a very specific theme: “starfleet ensign whose ship crashed on a presently uninhabited class-m planet several years prior and whose crew has been living off the land and uncovering the buried civilization that existed there eons before they were marooned” or “Explorer Vibes plus my star trek banner lol”. I just.. Rachel Maksy said in a video once that she likes to tell stories with her outfits, and I sort of want to try that with my room. I really love the “mosscore” and academic looks, with scientific drawings on aged paper, maps, vines and wisteria, knicknacks.. but I kind of want to make it my own, where if someone were to look closely they’d see all the treky things and it’d just be a little whimsical, like me. I just want to make my room into a space that I love.

Oh my god wait it’s space academia is what it is.

Anyway I’ve started filling up a new pinterest board and while it’s a bit of a mess I’m kind of in love with it. Now, as I’ve been going through this thought exercise, I get this pervasive thought about how there’s no permanent sense of self and for that reason it’s foolish to try to chase the whims of my own style which may change with the next passing fad. But. I look back on the years when I was obsessed with my galaxy jeans, and I’m happy for that Nina, even if she’s not me anymore. And I think maintaining that outlook is better than expecting to shame my current self in the future for doing something that’s with or against the grain. So as someone with not much money, I think I’m going to look into getting furniture pieces that are stylistically modular, at first, which I could add a covering to (or make a covering for? hm..) to match my most recent whim. Like getting a black saucer chair but crocheting a green granny square blanket to cover it, like otherworldly moss (to fit in with the ~bedroom story~).

So last thing, I’ve been on a bit of a mild movie binge these past few days. Shazam 1 and 2 were alright, nothing too terribly innovative for the genre, but I really did love the diversity all around. Airplane 1 and 2 were literally hilarious. I don’t know what kind of genre it is exactly, but they made me laugh and giggle aloud so many times, I mean the wordplay and physical humor were golden. Superman: Red Son was an unexpectedly good WB DC Animated Movie. It interesting all the way through, Travis Willingham made an appearance, the animation style/character design was good... honestly it had the intrigue and impactful climax I was looking for but found lacking in the Injustice: Gods Among Us movie. Now, I fully recognize that there was a pretty pro-American lean to it disguised under those pro-communism plot points, but I’ll let it slide.

Today I’m thankful for graduation gifts.

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