//C.T./T.W: Vent talk/made-up lyrics//
🖤💔🖤💔🖤💔🖤
I wanna scream until my throat breaks...
I wanna cry until nothing's left...
I wanna keep myself busy with my insanity...
I wanna bleed until nothing's left...
🖤💔🖤💔🖤💔🖤💔🖤💔🖤💔🖤💔🖤💔🖤💔
I hate myself so much...
downgrading myself's an option...
I hate myself so much...
Going insane is an option...
🖤💔🖤💔🖤💔🖤💔🖤💔🖤💔🖤💔🖤💔🖤💔
I wish and beg...
Kind friends forgive each other...
I wish and beg...
I wish everyone else would forgive each other...
🖤💔🖤💔🖤💔🖤💔🖤💔🖤💔🖤💔🖤💔🖤💔
Why am I like this?...
Why can't I help anyone?...
Why am I like this?...
Why can't I do anything?...
🖤💔🖤💔🖤💔🖤💔🖤💔🖤💔🖤💔🖤💔🖤💔
I struggle to find words...
Things we're better the old days...
I struggle to find words...
I'm losing my mind...
🖤💔🖤💔🖤💔🖤💔🖤💔🖤💔🖤💔🖤💔🖤💔
...
.....
........
...........
🖤💔🖤💔🖤💔🖤💔🖤💔🖤💔🖤💔🖤💔🖤💔
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
🖤💔🖤💔🖤💔🖤💔🖤💔🖤💔🖤💔🖤💔🖤💔
......Ow......
....Sorry....
..................
*Starts crying hysterically in a ball of tears as Sweet Pea comforts me*
11 notes
·
View notes
its really hard to not try again
its really not that easy to just keep pretending it isnt in my closet
its only 6 feet away from me, all i have is in my closet
they say everyone is bound to have a ghost in the back of your closet
what if that ghost is her
shes waiting to prevail
the closet, its, half my mind, half my brain is dead, waiting to be preserved
do you feel bugs crawling on your skin everyday?
when washing your hands, do you get the urgent perfect picture in your mind of slicing your bright blue veins to ring?
when you sleep do you wake up in a cold pool of guilt and sweat?
sweet dreams about the forgotten are left by morning
she says that if we start now we'll have to be careful
whats the worst that could happen?
whats the worst that could happen?
i say, everyday, everything and everyone can always be worse, and she says nothing and noone can possibly be worse
the last time we tried i passed out on the bathroom floor
the last time they saw, he threatened to send me away again
is is really worth it all?
she says, of course it is, its worth it all
life under feeling, she prefers feeling over living
i think living isnt living if you arent alive
so what is missing?
its so beautiful to see, we both agree
we both hope the prophecy succeeds
so why cant i start again now?
maybe, unrealistical, but we both agree
i think the only thing holding me is laziness or fear, but why?
we both want to see it, smell it, feel it, taste it, so why shouldn't it be lived?
this was never fun, but maybe it can be now, maybe we can adjust
nothing she wants is healthy enough for her
they know eachother so well but neither know who they are
a doll stuck in another realm, but walking in the same house
shed do anything to repair her half, shed do everything to see her pure
if clean is the opposite of dirty what is the opposition of purity?
ive held my throat for you, and shes been sitting with her hands on her chin undelivered
hold your breath as long as possible in fabric or suffocate yourself for fun?
she knows theres no point in that anymore, breathlessness, she breathes out and in the sickness
beat her blood for control, squeezing organs for love
play games of childhood for closing the closet temporarily
i think everything is too complicsted for the living, she thinks everything is too simple for the breathing
i control her more than she can control me, nonetheless i wish she could take our role and stand in the spotlight to shine in grine
we will have to keep suffering in the waitlist
i hope she retrieves the ghost to bleed
the retrieval of the revenue is near
we are awaiting the release
please dont take your time
it is you who must save us after she compensates
18 notes
·
View notes
Burn Book
started writing and doodling in my pyromania journal and accidentally wrote a song with it so here we go
Oh Fuck, the page is on fire
i got burned
i must have
played with
fire
maybe next, i'll get drowned
false hope of
being doused
being saved
go to hell (x4)
fuck you (x3)
fuck you, go to hell
light your way
strike a match
burn the pain away
burn (x3)
burn (x3)
Destroy me
rip and tear
burn and blaze
Oh Fuck, the page is on fire
i got burned
i must have
played with
fire
maybe next, i'll get drowned
false hope of
being doused
being saved
crumple, crumple
use me to destress
your blazing mind
burn this book when its full
coping with pyromania
light a your way
strike a match
burn the pain away
7 notes
·
View notes
If it's truly over... Just know, i love you all.
.
.
.
[1]
Are you ready?
Really dreading?
It shall be quick
*...*
[2]
Manufactured memories
There's no mysteries
It's all the same thing every time
It's a game with no more prize
*...*
What's left will soon rot
POSITIVITY IS DEAD.
I am god :)
[3]
Isn't it odd?
How this whimsy falls apart as soon as it starts?
*...*
Then it restarts!
[4]
New coat of paint
With that lie, always
Lures in more power to them like fish
*...*
[5]
What's the point in survival
When it's only a loop of trouble
Everything started with a child
Now the paranoia spreads like fire
*...*
:)
[6]
It's always the same story, another one trying to control every day
It's always the humans mad with power that care about the tiniest of trouble
Don't you think it strange how it keeps on coming back only to fall and be forgotten?
Maybe it's time to let go of everything, call it another burning memory
Wave goodbye to everything and leave it to rot behind till it's all gone
Leave the demons to it's demons, rest your very soul for there is nothing else to call yours
I guess it really is another lost cause after all...
[end.]
2 notes
·
View notes