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sv5hive · 3 months

Text

too little, too late. | lh44

pairing: lewis hamilton x fem!reader

content warning(s): angst, swearing, lewis is a bit of a dick in this sorry, unhappy ending because i love being miserable 🫶🏻

word count: 1,763

note: thank you so much for all the likes and reblogs on my first work a few days ago!! i didn't expect all the love so it is very, very appreciated :) this is a bit long so get comfy! and i also listened to you're losing me by taylor swift while writing so... yeah.

(psst! part 2 is here!)

(masterlist!)

memories from the night you two met flashed through your mind as you stood alone in the dim kitchen. the hangover from the next morning meant most of the night was a blur of shots, flashing lights and sweaty bodies but those deep brown eyes and endearing smile remained sharply in focus.

you stared at the two cold plates of dinner abandoned on the table and a bottle of wine nearing the end.

where had it all gone wrong?

six years.

six years of supporting him through everything.

and you loved being with lewis no matter what. seeing him in his element while racing was just as exciting for you as it was for him. but when would it end? you couldn't keep your life on pause forever.

back in 2017 when you first started dating you discussed a life of peace. a life with a big family and a nice house in england where your children could grow up normally like the both of you did. and you weren't foolish. you would never truly have peace when you were in a relationship with lewis hamilton, the face of formula 1. but you were willing to give up any sense of normality if it meant you could be with the love of your life.

or so you thought.

years passed as you watched all your friends get engaged and married, settle down and start their own families. at every bachelorette party, wedding reception, baby shower, family event you would be asked the same questions.

"when is he going to pop the question? you two have to get married! i bet he's planning to do it soon."

and every time you would have the same response.

"oh we're just taking it slow. he's pretty busy with racing and we both agreed that it wouldn't be fair for him to be away so much."

and you really did believe that at first.

either you didn't notice the stares of pity or you ignored them to convince yourself that everything was ok. it was only when you brought up the idea of finally having kids that you started doubting yourself.

"hey, lew. i've been thinking."

"hmm, yeah? what about." he replied absentmindedly, still searching netflix for a good movie to watch.

you passed him the bowl of popcorn to hold while you got under the blanket.

"i was thinking that we're finally ready to start a family."

he stilled. that was the last thing he thought you would bring up.

"lewis?"

"i want a family too, you know that. but i can't retire without getting that eighth championship. we're almost there. besides, i don't wanna leave you at home with a kid and not be there for every step of the way."

both of you knew at the rate mercedes was going, lewis would need a miracle and a half to win another title against red bull and their rocket ship.

he avoided your eyes and clearly thought that was the end of the matter so you accepted that when he was ready he would tell you. right?

you tossed and turned that night, unable to get the way he brushed off the topic so coldly out of your head. did you imagine it? that flicker of hesitance on his face? a pit of uneasiness settled at the bottom of your stomach as you desperately tried to reason with yourself. no. everything is fine. you had already waited a few years. what was a couple more?

so you tucked away your dreams of a family into the back of your mind for the time being and just enjoyed your relationship with lewis. every date felt like the first and you never wanted your love to end.

"lewis...this is too much!" as you stared in awe at the lone table in the middle of a completely empty restaurant.

rose petals led you two all the way from the entrance to a table with a single rose stood in a vase in the centre as candles flickered softly.

"for you? never."

staring at him in the golden light, you couldn't help but blush at his romantic gesture. he was making up for being away during a triple header and you hated to admit it but you could get used to this.

racing. you smiled at the thought of seeing lewis race. it was like seeing an artist produce a masterpiece every time pencil hit paper. he truly was an incredible sight to see.

you were there for each of his championships since 2017. you witnessed the joy of 2020 and the heartbreak of 2021. you were there, celebrating each win with him and consoling him after each loss, every time. you had fallen in love with the sport you once had no knowledge of just as hard as you had fallen for lewis. you knew how much of a toll each season took on him and you were always going to be there to pick him back up. his world became yours as you met his team and soon enough you were a familiar sight in the mercedes garage.

wasn't seven world championships enough for him?

you would never ask him to give up his career for you. and he would never ask that of you. but after years of waiting for the next step you couldn't help but wonder whether he still wanted that with you.

he was more than an hour late now. both of your schedules had been almost completely full for the past few months and you thought it would be nice to catch up over homemade dinner.

apparently he didn't think the same.

you hadn't bothered calling or texting. he always turned his phone off while at work anyways. as you finished off the last mouthful of wine the jingle of keys and the door unlocking brought you back out of your thoughts.

heavy footsteps trudged through the hallway.

"hey baby, i didn't think you would be up- what's all this?"

"dinner. i've been waiting for two hours now." you turned away from the counter to face him.

"shit. i am so sorry. i just got so caught up at work. we've been trying to improve the car to-"

"-to beat red bull. i know. i know."

"i promise i'll make it up to you. what about dinner next week? at that chinese restaurant you really like?" he walked towards you and went to wrap his arms around you before you pushed him away.

"stop, lewis. just stop. i can't keep doing this." you couldn't look him in the eyes.

a pin drop could be heard as lewis' blood ran cold.

"what?"

the change in atmosphere almost made you wish you had never said anything. almost.

"i can't keep waiting on you, lewis. i'm sorry."

"i said i would make it up to you." the look of pure confusion on his face would be amusing if it weren't for the fact that you were on the verge of tears.

"it's not just about dinner, lewis."

"then what is it about?"

"everything. god, we've been together for eight years and we're not even engaged and nowhere near starting a family. we have nothing to show for it. i knew i would have to wait and i was fine with that but i just can't anymore. this isn't what i imagined for us."

"so what? you're just going to leave? you know how i feel about having kids."

"and i get that, i do. but are you even planning on retiring in the near future? we're not getting any younger and i've been ready for a while now. i just don't think our ideas of our future are the same anymore."

"am i just meant to drop everything for you then? give it all up?"

"fuck, of course not, lewis. i would never ask you to do that. never. but sometimes it feels like you choose your career over me. and i know what it takes to be in formula 1 to win, i know you need to give it your full focus. i just, i need you to choose me for once. choose us."

"no, you don't know what it takes because if you did, you wouldn't be doing this to me right now. in the middle of the season."

you blinked. once. twice. you couldn't believe what you were hearing.

"are you fucking kidding me, lewis? i'm ending our six year relationship and you're thinking of how it's going to effect your season?"

"yes! fuck, this is my whole life. it always has been and it always will be."

there it is. confirmation from the man himself. you stumbled on your words trying to convey your anger as your blood continuously boiled at his miserable attempt to fix his mess.

"have you ever even thought about how i've felt all these years? giving every excuse in the book to our families and friends about why we haven't taken the next step in our relationship and defending you when they said i was too good for you? you may get to avoid them by going to the races but i don't have that privilege."

your throat was dry at this point as you gasped for air and still, he was stood almost unbothered at the fact you were hopelessly clinging onto the last remaining threads of your relationship, willing him to fight back.

"so that's it? you're not going to stop me?"

tears pooled at your eyes as you realised this was really happening.

"well clearly you've thought this out pretty well."

you didn't know whether to laugh, cry or throw the empty bottle of wine at his head.

"you are fucking unbelievable, lewis. i thought this meant something to you but clearly not."

you stormed towards the door and opened it. you paused while silently hoping he would beg you to stay. hoping he would risk everything for you.

but it never came.

you wiped away your tears and tried to at least sound somewhat assertive despite your voice wavering.

"let me know when you're not at home and i'll come get my things."

you slammed the door shut with a resounding bang and walked away from the place and person you had called home for so long.

he sighed and rubbed his face with his hand. as he moved to get a beer out of the fridge his gaze fell on the calendar stuck to the front. there was a red heart around today's date with "anniversary!" written in your handwriting.

fuck.

note: yikes. i hope you aren't too sad because of me. any feedback is appreciated!! let me know what else you wanna see :)

#f1 x reader #f1 x you #f1 fic #lewis hamilton x fem!reader #lewis hamilton x reader #lewis hamilton angst #lh44 #lh44 x reader #lewis hamilton imagine #lewis hamilton x you #lewis hamilton fanfic

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qxldnya · 1 year

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Enemies to lovers

Part 1 part 2 part 3

Jude Bellingham x baller!reader

Taglist now open

Wc: 2k

Warning: past flashback, swearing

⚠️ A/n: PLS STOP SPAMMING ME! I beg man 😭 i will post parts as soon as i can and people spamming me everywhere only puts me off this. If you wanna be apart of the taglist comment down below<3 THANK YOU FOR 900 FOLLOWERS <3

"A favor?"

You repeat, the words feeling thick and heavy on your tongue. A part of you suspects that he's about to pull a fast one and make some belittling joke at your expense.

Or he's going to ask you to do something completely impossible for him, just so he can prove his point that, haha, you fucked up!

Because there's really no conceivable reason that he would-

"You need me to act as your boyfriend for the wedding thing. Fine. But I need you to..."

He trails off, and you stare in awe as a light pink hue dusts his cheeks. Is Jude... blushing? You'd seen him blush out of rage before, many times actually, but never... shyness? Is that what this even is?

"...It'll be easier if I just explain it first."

Nodding, you feel like you're stuck in some kind of trance as he sits down on top of the desk next to yours. He sighs again, and then those blood-red eyes are focused on you.

"My parents are... fuckin' nutcases. I don't know if you've heard much about them, but they're kinda well- respected in England. Not like your aunt, just pretty influential in politics n' shit."

You openly stare at him, head tilted.

"I, uh, don't follow."

A glare. "So let me fucking finish then, eh?"

Bristling, you bite your tongue and grit out a strained apology. He just rolls his eyes in response and continues on.

"Anyways, my mom's been creepily invested in like, making sure I have a girlfriend so I can 'continue the family lineage.' I'm still 19 so it doesn't make much sense, but it's just for her to show it off I guess."

He makes air quotes with his fingers as he speaks, and you almost want to laugh a bit because the idea of Jude having a wife and kids is just... unrealistic. He looks away, eyes hardening as his tone shifts into something more somber. "So then I had a girlfriend, but we uh, broke up a few months ago."

Hold the fucking phone. Jude had a girlfriend? Like, as in living breathing girl? Who was interested in actually dating him?

Your attempt to conceal the look of shock clearly written across on your face utterly fails, because Jude instantly notices before you can even try to correct yourself. The look he gives you makes your spine go rigid.

"The fuck you looking like that for?"

"Nothing," you say a bit too quickly. "so then what about the rest of the favor?" He scowls for a few moments longer, as if he's wondering if he really wants to pursue an argument right now, then thankfully drops the issue altogether and continues talking. You let out a breath you weren't even aware you'd been holding, feeling slightly victorious at the fact that for once you've managed to avoid a giant mess. It's a nice change of pace.

"As I was saying, we broke up, but my mom doesn't know that. Hell, she didn't even meet my girlfriend to begin with. Was just happy to know I had one, and then bragged about it to all her friends or whatever."

Your fingers begin to drum wildly against your desk. You've got a feeling you know where this is going, and it does not appeal to you.

"But you're single now, so she doesn't know?"

"Yeah. Which is where you come in."

Yep. Laughing nervously, you stand from your seat and grab your bag, slinging it over your shoulder.

"Yeah, look... I know I fucked up with the whole phone call thing, and I'm sorry about that, but I am NOT going to be your pretend girlfriend for god knows how long just because your mom-"

He makes a face, appearing as if you've just gravely offended him.

"What? Why the fuck would I ever want that? Idiot, it's only going to be for one night, not a year."

A short laugh escapes his lips, curt and blunt. “You think I'd enjoy having you of all people as my girlfriend?"

You wince, because ouch, but at the same time, you'd probably reply with the exact same thing had he been the one to insinuate that. So it's fair, you suppose. "Only one night?" Is your hesitant response. "My mom's got a stupid party with her fellow political snobs coming up in a week," he grumbles, leg swinging impatiently.

"I just need you to pose as my girlfriend for the party. That's all."

Mulling over your options, you bite your lip and give him a skeptical glance.

"So that's it? And then you'll- you'll do the wedding thing with me?"

Jude nods. You then start to feel slightly bad, because here he is only requiring you to act as his significant other for one night, whereas you'll be having him act for a week... "Are you sure it's a fair exchange?" You mumble, nervously picking at the seams of your shorts. Rolling his eyes for the billionth time, he hops off of the desk and snorts.

"I get out of having my mom scream at me and get a free vacation to fucking Malibu?"

"The Bahamas," you correct him.

Another eye roll. You silently hope that they stay stuck in the back of his head someday.

"Whatever, same difference. So yeah, it's a pretty fair exchange.

I mean, we just fake "break up" after the wedding or whatever." He hums to himself a bit, before grimacing slightly. His next words are nothing more but a mumble, and you strain to hear them.

"But, if anything, we're both kinda getting fucked over here." You narrow your eyes suspiciously. "Hey, hold on, I never explicitly agreed to all of this. What do you mean by that?"

A sort of realization dawns on him. He slowly faces you before flashing a sarcastic grin in response, his sharp canines now visible at the corners of his mouth.

"Come on, you didn't think this was gonna be as easy as just saying we're dating and expecting people to believe it, did you?"

Heat rises to your cheeks. "I- I don't follow." "It means," he says, taking a few slow steps towards you. "that you and I are gonna have to actually play the part. I mean if we're both all stiff-shouldered and awkward, ya think your aunt is really be convinced that we're actually dating?"

"I mean, it- it doesn't matter too much, right?"

God, you hope your face isn't as red as it feels. And then Jude is directly in front of you, both of his hands squarely planted on the desk as he looms over you. You're now certain that it is as red as it feels. It's unclear to you if you're more flustered over the blatant invasion of your personal space, or... no, you're not finishing that thought.

"Here's the thing, 'babe,' " he growls, his voice strained. "you can try and convince your aunt about whatever the fuck you want. I'm definitely not complaining if I don't have to bring the whole romance shtick along on the trip. That would be ideal, actually, cause there's no way I'm trying to shack up with you."

His face is now only inches from yours, hot breath slightly fanning across your cheeks. You think your heart has leapt straight into your throat. Since when has it been this hard to breathe?

"But with my family, you're not getting away with any of that half-assed crap. So whether you like it or not - and I can assure you that I for one don't -we're gonna have to get used to acting like a real couple. Otherwise, this isn't gonna work. Understand?"

You physically cannot move, only offering a blank stare in response. He smirks in a patronizing sort of way, seemingly mistaking your bewildered reaction for one of fear. As if he expected you to react this way all along.

"Unless, of course, princess prude here can't do that. So make your choice."

Hold on, is he trying to scare you off?

Oh, he definitely is.

He takes your momentary silence as an answer and chuckles.

"That's what I thought."

You've been described as a lot of things that you can agree with. Easily flustered, hard-headed, passionate... the list goes on. You've also been described as incredibly stubborn. Petty, too. And those statements are just as factual.

"Well, if you change your mind, I'll probably have until tomorrow before I go looking for a stand-in" Jude shrugs, finally backing up from your desk and turning toward the door.

"but otherwise, if you can't do it, we're probably done here-"

All things considered, you're guessing that he probably didn't expect you to stand from your seat and grab him roughly by the back of his shirt. He lets out a startled noise as you yank him towards you, forcing him to face you as your fist bunches in his collar. Pulling him down to meet you eye-to-eye, your response is forced from your lips with a ferocity that surprises even you.

"Try me." You regret the words the momont they leave your mouth. But you're too busy relishing in Jude startled expression to really care. He stares at you for a few moments longer, seemingly dumbfounded, before abruptly prying your hand off of him with a look of disdain. He smoothes out his shirt with a smile.

"Damn, didn't know princess prude had some balls on her."

Trying to maintain your false facade of confidence, you cross your arms stubbornly.

"The joke's only funny once. Don't call me that." And for a moment you swear he smirks, a smirk that's not full of hatred or sarcasm for once, but it's quickly replaced with his normal resting bitch face that you've seen so frequently over the course of the past semester. "Alright," he grumbles.

"Let me give you my number so we can plan shit out." You hand him your phone, and he quickly punches in his contact before carelessly tossing it back to you. It almost slips from your grasp, and you glare daggers at him as you fumble to recover it.

"Watch it, asshole." He just sniggers.

"Yeah, whatever. Anyways I'm blasting this dump. Later, princess prude." "I said, don't fucking call me that!"

You shout after him as he exits the room, fists trembling with anger.

"Whatever the princess commands."

"You're not funny!"

"Don't care." It's the last thing you hear before he disappears out of the room and down the hallway, leaving you to stand in place, furious, and process what exactly you just agreed to. Jude is your fake boyfriend. What the fuck?

It feels taboo to even think about. An even scarier realization that hits you with the speed of a freight train is that to everyone else, Jude is now your real boyfriend.

Crouching down, you wrap your arms around your knees and resist the urge to scream. By the time you make it through the rest of your classes and back to your apartment, you think you're about to drop dead on your feet. You'd been too focused on what had happened back in the empty room with Jude to really pay attention to any of your lectures, instead debating whether or not you should just call the whole thing off and stick to trying to pay your aunt back, or roll with it and move onto the next set of problems that would arise from sticking with it. Is he still going to tell people you two aren't actually dating? Are you still going to be outed as a liar?

God, you hope not. Hell, you'd even written out a whole pros and cons list during your last class, which you were now reviewing from the privacy and comfort of your bed.

PROS: No Tom (Jude is somehow more bearable, cause at least he's not a creep) Aunt + Mom are happy (no guilt-tripping) Don't have to pay aunt Sylvie back VACATION TO BAHAMAS??? Maybe won't be outed for "lying" (did I lie tho) Not permanent I'm technically doing something nice for someone else at

I'm technically doing something nice for someone else at the same time :))))

(kind of, fuck you Jude)

CONS: He's not Tom but he's also still Jude and that means that I have to deal with the asshole for basically a month

Family is gonna ask questions Prep stuff for the fake dating I guess Oh god do I have to kiss him??

Might still have to deal with the Rice thing and being called a liar Have to deal with HIS family asking questions And... that's about it.

At first glance, you try to convince yourself that both sides are semi-even, but... the cons are mostly superficial or just plain uncertain, now that you look at them. And the pros are stupidly strong and... shit.... The only big thing you'll be sacrificing is your dignity. And your time and patience. No, no. That's still worth something right? Maybe not. Are you seriously about to go along with this? And as if on cue, your phone buzzes with a text from Jude.

From: Jude

6:17 PM

Hey, I told Rice the rumors are true. Might be easier for you and I to keep our story straight. We can just tell him we broke up

You stare quizzically at the message for a few moments, sort of in awe. He still sounds as harsh as ever but this is... oddly considerate of him.

Did someone steal his phone or something?

From: Jude

6:19 PM

Your name in my phone is Princess Prude, just thought you should know.

Never mind.

Definitely the same guy.

From: You

6:20 PM

Why

From: Jude

6:20 PM

Cause it pisses you off

From: you

6:21 PM

was about to thank you for what I thought was a really nice gesture but now all I have to say is fuck you

You make a new contact name for him and send a screenshot.

From: Judyhoe

6:22 PM

The fuck? "Judyhoe?" You've got some meedy insults yk. And the feeling is mutual btw

He sends a middle finger emoji with nothing else, and you suppose that's the end of the conversation.

But despite all the insults, his infuriating personality, and the shit you're probably going to have to put up with...

At least he's not Tom

Naturally, Mason had been the first in your admittedly small social circle to know the truth; he was probably your closest friend on camp at this point. And considering the fact that you had kind of ghosted her since the end of training, you supposed it was only right to fill him in on what was going on.

That, and you weren't sure if you'd remain mentally stable enough if you'd kept all of this a secret.

"Are you shitting me?" Was the first thing he'd said when you'd finally picked up her calls. The whole ordeal had been explained over text - a tedious process, looking back.

But you'd just been too embarrassed to recount everything out loud.

"No," you mumble, rolling over in your bed so you can stare at the ceiling. "I swear I'm not."

You hear him inhale sharply, before he starts laughing like a maniac. Reddening, you clench your fists as you sit up in bed, shouting words of indignation into the speaker as he continues to cackle at your expense.

"You and Jude-" he seems to be almost laughing through tears.

"You guys are faking... This can't be real. You guys are like Arsenal and spurs!" Grumbling, you slouch.

"I know, and yes, it is real."

"Are- are you two sharing a fucking BED on your vacation?" He howls, trying to catch his breath, and you try your damndest not to hang up right then and there as your face goes aflame at his suggestion.

"No!" Comes your high-pitched squeal.

"Me? Share a bed with that asshole? He would probably suffocate me in my sleep!"

"I dunno, maybe it's the perfect time to figure out if one of you has a degrading kink-" Grinding your teeth, you glare down at your phone.

"If you don't shut up, I'm going to end the call." he half-heartedly apologizes as his laughter dissolves into giggles.

You just sigh, one hand rubbing at your temples. This is going to be a painfully long month.

"So..." he starts. "how do you honestly feel about it?" his tone is genuinely curious this time.

Humming, you search for an answer. "I don't know," is your honest reply. "I'm relieved, because it kinda solved three problems all at once but... I'm also really dreading the whole thing. I'm scared something's gonna get fucked up along the way."

A short laugh. "Fair enough. I'll be surprised if you two don't kill each other before the whole party thing." You silently agree.

"So like, to convince his parents, is he gonna have to practice kissing you or something?"

The sound that leaves your mouth is nothing short of a squeak. Oh, you can practically hear him grinning over the phone.

"Oh? Looks like someone isn't prepared. What if he pulls you onto his lap, huh? Wraps his arms around your waist..."

"That's not- Shut up!" is your garbled reply, throat constricting at the thought. "If I didn't know any better, you sound flustered~" he purrs.

No, you protest very firmly. You aren't flustered. You're just grossed out. The thought is appalling to you. One hundred percent. He can tell that you're lying. And shit, why the fuck is it making you flustered? He's a fucking dickhead. And you genuinely do hate him. But he's a hot dickhead, a voice in the back of your head whispers, and you try to beat it over the head with an imaginary baseball bat. Ok. Fine. He's attractive. You'll admit it. And you hate it, because otherwise, you wouldn't be nearly as flushed thinking about all of this.

And why do all the assholes get to be attractive??

You don't realize you've said all of this aloud to Mason until he bursts out laughing again, much to your embarrassment, and then you have to spend a whole five minutes shutting him up. He's not going to let you live this down. Not for a long while. The two of you continue to talk about the logistics of the arrangement for about an hour longer - you pointedly ignore a few of the sly jokes he slips in here and there - before he has to leave for his family dinner

And when the call finally ends, you can't help but feel a tiny bit relieved that this isn't a secret you need to carry alone anymore.

Your phone buzzes with a text.

From: money mase

8:49 PM Just always remember the importance of condoms and good ol birth control

You should've just kept your mouth shut. From: You

8:50 PM I have no idea why you're so convinced that we're going to do anything. This is literally a contract out of convenience.

From: money mase

8:51 PM That's what they all say, mate

From: You

8:52 PM The day I fuck Jude is the day you finally confess to Declan

He doesn't respond to that one. The rest of the night passes without much of a hitch. You do get a few curious messages on your social media asking about Jude, but you elect to ignore them for now, favoring the sweet embrace of sleep.

And when you finally manage to drift off to sleep after what feels like ages of constant tossing and turning, your dreams are filled with brown eyes that burn through your body over and over, until nothing of you remains but charred ash.

From: Judyhoe

8:15 AM Meet me today at my apartment after lunch so we can plan shit out for the party. I've only got one massage class, so I'll be here all day. And don't keep me waiting

Waking up to a text from Jude feels like whiplash. (a/n referenced the best movie to exist;)

And waking up to a text from Jude demanding you to come to his apartment, of all places, more so. And what does he mean by "plan shit out?" You mull over whether or not you should fake sick and bail, gingerly sipping at your coffee. But then comes the reminder that all of this technically counts as an obligation now, thanks to your poor critical thinking skills that are permanently coupled with your big fat mouth

You told him to send his adress. He does, and you can't help but gawk when you recognize the location because holy shit, it's in a really nice area in London. You always seemed to forget that some on the team lives by themselves rather than on camp like you. Simply out of convenience. Your cat rubs against your ankles with a purr, and you pick her up, scratching behind her ears as you silently pray that today won't be a complete disaster on your end.

Unfortunately, things are already looking glum. The stares are even more prominent today. Probably a result of Jude's confirmation with Declan about it all. You even overhear a huddled group of girls whispering as you pass, shooting you a few glares. You try your best to ignore it all, but by the time you slide into your seat at lunch, you want to do nothing but hide.

It'll pass, you think to yourself, desperate for consolation. He's basically a high class celebrity, so of course it's a hot topic. But it'll pass soon. Old news. Despite your anxiety about, well, everything, everything pass by far too quickly.

It's 4 PM before you even realize it. Wait, why are you so worked up over this? It's just a stupid meeting. Nothing weird is going to happen. It's just a result of everything Mason said last night. And even if you have to practice being... being a couple, it's not like he's going to do anything

Right? You should bail. But as you pull up his messages and start typing out an excuse to remain hiding at home with your cat, you can practically envision Jude calling you "princess prude" again, and it's all the conviction you need to erase the stupid message, grab your bag, and stride as you confidently head for his apartment.

The confidence lasts for a whole twenty minutes, until you reach the lobby of the apartment building. You're not sure if it can even be classified as a lobby, it looks more like a resort. There's even a bar to the right.

You instantly feel out of place, suddenly hyper-aware of your admittedly plain looking clothing in contrast to the other walking around in designer brands. Not because you couldn't afford them but because it wouldn't fit you.

Shit, maybe you should've worn something your aunt gifted you... You catch a few people giving you sideways glances, some hostile, others curious. Probably recognizing who you were. Pulling out your phone, you retreat to a corner and quickly send a text to Jude.

From: You

4:25 PM I'm here please come down idk how this place works and the posh people are staring at me

From: Judyhoe

4:25 PM are you serious

You wait for a few more minutes, idly shuffling your feet as you try your best to stay out of everyone's direct line of sight.

Not just because you definitely look out of place, but also because the people living here probably know Jude. Which means they also probably know about Jude.

Which means they also probably know about you. And there seems to be very mixed reception to that. And then you spot him coming into the lobby, adorning a plain black tank top and matching black sweats. And for a second, you want to laugh, because he looks just as out of place as you do.

But he very obviously isn't, judging from the way that everyone greets him as he passes.

He offers nothing more than a nod of acknowledgement in response, even to the two glammed up girls that try to rest their hands on his arms in an attempt to stop him long enough for a brief conversation.

He just shrugs them off and keeps walking, narrowed eyes scanning the room in search of you. Stepping out of your little hiding place, you try to nonchalantly raise a hand to catch his attention, hoping that no one takes much notice of you.

Jude spots you, and his eyes narrow even more as he storms over to where you awkwardly stand.

"Why didn't you just come up?" He hisses, stopping right in front of you. People are staring. "I- What do you mean?" His voice drops an octave, and hushes to nearly a whisper. "Do you know how this looks? How much attention we're drawing to ourselves?

"Shit, I told Mason to tell everyone it was true, but I didn't want it to be a fucking spectacle."

Trying to keep your expression neutral, you respond through gritted teeth.

"I'm sorry that I don't know how to navigate your huge apartment lobby. There's so many stupid hallways and rooms down here, why does it all look so fucking fancy and expensive?"

"What?you're literally a fotballer you are loaded."

"Yeah, but not posh loaded, everything is in the bank you i do not show it off dickhead," you huff indignantly, eyes darting around nervously. Jude looks like he wants to say more, but it quickly comes to his attention that the two of you are on the verge of causing a scene.

There's quite a few people watching the two of you, some more obviously than others. The two girls that tried to hit on him are muttering something to themselves and "subtly" pointing at you, something the both of you are quick to notice.

You can't help but shrink in on yourself, feeling exposed and more than a bit humiliated. Why the fuck couldn't he just act normal and wait until you were in private to tell you this? Jude's eyes flicker from them, then back to you. Then, with a scowl, he grabs your hand - not your wrist this time and pulls you along behind him to the other end of the lobby where he first appeared from. You can't fight the blush that works its way onto your cheeks as his calloused palm envelops your own. Since when is hand-holding this embarrassing? You feel as if you're committing an act of public indecency.

Thankfully, your previous anger helps to combat the unwelcome feelings, and you silently fume as he pulls you into one of the several elevators lined up along either side of the hallway. Punching the button to one of the highest floors, he finally lets go of your hand, and you can't help but sigh out of relief.

There's an awkward moment of silence as the elevator begins to rise. You stare at the excessive amount of decor. It's a fucking elevator, why does it need a mini- chandelier?

"I... thought you'd come earlier." Jude breaks the silence first. "London traffic ," you muttered. More silence. The silence lasts for the rest of the elevator ride. The doors ding open with a merry chime. and Jude steps doors ding open with a merry chime, and Jude steps out, hesitating briefly to ensure that you're following before striding down the hallway.

You trail behind, marveling at how your shoes slightly sink into the plush carpeting. The whole place is impressive to look at, actually, and you get lost in the painted gold embellishments on the light blue wallpaper.

So lost, in fact, that you don't notice when Jude abruptly stops in front of a door, turning to face you. You look back just in time to face plant into his chest.

Letting out a startled yelp, you quickly jerk back and lose your balance, falling straight onto your ass. He just stares down at you, dumbfounded, as you rub at your nose with a wince. Why the fuck is his chest rock solid? You think to yourself, groaning.

"Look where you're fucking walking," Jude mutters with a glare, extending a hand for you to take. Prick. You bat it away, stubbornly standing on your own with only a tiny bit of struggle. He just rolls his eyes and turns to unlock the door, cursing as he fumbles with the key. It jingles a few times, and then the tell tale click of the lock gives way. When the door is open, you can't help but eagerly follow him inside, admittedly curious to see what a rich boy's apartment looks like. Does he have a master bathroom? TV's everywhere? Maybe some gold bars lying around? It's just a whole lot of nothing, much to your disappointment. He throws his keys on the kitchen counter as you take in your surroundings with a raised eyebrow.

The whole place is... minimalist, to say the least. Save for a few dumbbells lying around, a couch in the living area, and a clean and tidy kitchen, the rest of the space is bare. There's obviously appliances and a large flatscreen TV, but you'd really expected... more. Maybe some gold curtains, a regal throne even. Jude walks over to the living room and throws himself on the couch.

"Is your nose ok?" He asks, kicking his feet up on the ottoman in front of him with his arms folded behind his head.

You're not sure if it's the sudden privacy, the recent memory of colliding face first with his chest, or the fact that his pose just really... accentuates everything, but it's then that you really realize just how tight his tank top is, how clearly it defines every dip and curve of his muscles underneath and... no wonder you busted your nose.

Shut the fuck up shut the fuck up shut the fuck up

Forcing a nod, you swallow thickly.

"Uh- yeah." He grunts in response, then finally hunches over to rest his elbows on his knees - much to your relief - before sending an apathetic glance your way.

"So."

"So," you mimic uncertainly, finally taking a seat as far away from him as possible.

"The party is in six days," he says.

"And let me tell you, there's gonna be a lot more to it than just acting like you're obsessed with me and... vice versa or whatever. You're gonna be around more..."

He trails off, scrunching his eyebrows. "How did you put it? "posh" people, innit. So yeah, you're gonna need to learn how to act proper and, y'know, when to finally shut the fuck up."

He says that last sentence with a smirk, and you glower at him from your position on the couch.

"Are you serious? 'Act proper?' What, you think I'm some kind of barbarian?"

A wolfish grin stretches across his face. "You? A barbarian? Nah, you're too ditzy to be a barbarian."

Ditzy. Your father's eyes darken as he leers down at you, teeth grit together. You try not to cry, ignoring the way your eyes water as the broken plate trembles from within your grasp. "Fucking brain-dead," he slurs, breath reeking of alcohol. "That's what you are. You gonna grow up to be as ditzy as your mother? Huh?"

"Don't say that." You can feel anger rising, reddening your cheeks, but you do your best to remain calm. He shrugs, your serious tone going unnoticed.

"Ditzy. There, I said it. I mean, you probably don't know shit about the customs, so-"

You stand, still trying to maintain your composure but everything feels a bit fuzzy now.

"I said, don't call me that." And the fucker just laughs, glaring at you like he's challenging you.

"Why shouldn't I?"

"Because. I don't give a shit about the other nicknames, but that is something I don't want you calling me." Jude glowers at you for a few moments, before relenting with an eye roll.

"Fine. Jesus." And then he's blabbing off stuff about fancy customs, and you're finally starting to calm down, trying to tune in on what he's saying.

"My dad's kinda seen as the authority of the household, even though that's really my mom, but if you see him, you need to address him with respect."

You couldn't help but giggle a bit.

"Is that funny to you?"Jude's voice cuts through your thoughts, and when you turn to look at through your thoughts, and when you turn to look at him, he seems pretty pissed.

You just shrug, not really sure what to say. And Judd does not like that. "Hey, you might think all of this is a joke and that's fine, but my dad's cool. So just be respectful, asshole."

"I never said I wasn't going to be!"

"Then don't laugh when I tell you to be respectful!" You don't have a response to that, you'll admit. "Bitch," he mutters under his breath.

"Dick wad," you respond just as quietly.

"The fuck did you say?"

"Nothing, you stuck-up asshole." And the tension's back, thick in the air and hanging onto every spoken word. You stare each other down for what feels like an eternity, before you finally fold. This is all so exhausting.

"Ok, we can't do this anymore." He wrinkles his nose. "What?"

"This!" You gesture to him and then yourself. "We keep going for each other's throats and it's like, how are we supposed to pretend to be in love, when everything feels like a constant fight?"

"Not my fault."

"It's both of our faults!"

"You basically insulted my father," he growls. "You got pissy when I told you not to call me 'ditzy!' It was a simple request!" Jude groans, flopping back onto the couch to pinch his brow.

"Fine. What are you suggesting?"

Folding your hands together, you give him a stern look. "A truce."

He raises an eyebrow. "Which means...? Cause let's get one thing straight. I refuse to act like your little buddy buddy. We aren't friends." Sighing, you rub at your eyes.

"Ouch. That's not what I was aiming for, but thanks for the confirmation."

He just grunts, crossing his arms like a petulant child. "Ok, so then what?"

"No more fighting. No more trying to rile each other up every second of the damn day. That's what it means."

You stick out your hand.

"Just until the vacation is over. Alright? I'm not asking you to be friends." Jude looks at your outstretched hand suspiciously.

"So you're gonna actually listen to what I have to say about the party? The shit you're gonna have to learn?" You nod. "And you're gonna need to listen when I tell you not to call me something."

He thinks on it for only a second longer before grabbing your hand to shake it.

"Fine." And when the both of you let go, you almost want to celebrate because, score! Your fake-boyfriend maybe doesn't totally hate your guts anymore. Jude just scoffs, reaching into his pocket to fish out his phone.

Taglist: @valerysimps @like3dbypierregasly @enjoymyloves @capriaura @neymarssideboo @mad-die45

#jude bellingham #jude bellingham imagine #jude bellingham smut #jude bellingham x reader #trent alexander arnold x reader #football imagine #jude bellingham blurb #jude bellingham fic #jude bellingham fluff #jude bellingham x fotballer reader

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m1ssunderstanding · 5 months

Text

Get Back Rewatch 55 Years On: Day Five

The thing is I absolutely love the album that comes out of this mess. Like I know a lot of people do not like Let It Be, but so many of my favorite songs are on it. One of them being “I Me Mine.” The walz element is haunting, and I can read the lyrics as anti-capitalist even though George himself mostly wasn’t.

Laughing my head off at two boys from one of the best grammar schools in England, who have at this point made millions off of their writing, genuinely not knowing whether it should be “more freer” or “more freely”

The difference in how George shows Paul his new song vs John is striking. For Paul, he’s relaxed, nonchalant. For John, he stands up and performs it. And I think both are a defense mechanism, poor baby, because clearly, although Paul was very supportive of the song while they were alone, when John is roasting it, Paul just laughs along and George has to go “I don’t give a fuck whether you like it.”

Ah, the famous “up-against-a-wall” conversation. Paul comes in all dominant and sure. “Haven’t you written anything else? Haven’t you?” But then John touches him, and makes him laugh, and Paul’s a melted, goo-goo-eyes mess. This is the real reason why John got to be the leader isn’t it? Because Paul was too damn soft on him to ever follow through with his bossiness.

Their scouse sounds BEAUTIFUL compared to the stupid ugly RP and MLH’s transatlantic shit.

“And now John’d like to say a few words on the subject.” John starts singing, Paul strums along and joins in on the “chorus.” They can’t communicate like healthy people, but they Can do this.

So Peter Jackson took out Paul’s bitchy nod at Yoko as he’s stealing her man in real time right in front of her eyes. Unforgivable. But he kept in this adorable laugh, so that’s something.

Three more covers that I think *mean something* “Stand By Me” and “Spinning Like a Top” by Paul, followed by “You Win Again” by John. Yoko’s sweet little shoulder kiss. Thank you for taking care of the poor wet kitten, girly. Maybe don’t introduce the poor wet kitten to heroine, but you do you, I guess. (OP recognizes that poor wet kitten is also an adult capable of making his own decisions)

The cut from Paul literally dancing to get John’s attention straight to John dancing with Yoko while inside Paul’s head a silver hammer is clanging ominously. I can’t. Followed by the knowing, loving smile from Ringo to Paul. You know, those moments when you validate your friend’s bitchy thoughts with a look.

George is literally SO big inside himself, you know? You have to have superhuman self-love abilities to watch your friend – who is supposed to be helping you – shamelessly make fun of your art . . . and just “Do you wanna do that walz on the show? That’d be great.”

But did you guys know John was actually a really great mover?

“Yes, alright. Just sod off.” I love John. Paul’s people-pleasing ass would literally die first and he needs John to do this kind of shit for him and John’s only too happy to.

The moment when Paul and John are on the same wavelength about Dennis O’Dell’s stage.

OK but. Did John get the clear plastic idea from Yoko’s art exhibits?

“Any time we do anything it’s always got to be the best.” Poor Ringo. They’re all literally so tired of carrying so much weight for such a long time.

“See, I’d watch an hour of him just playing the piano. Cause he’s so great.” With that fond, loving, smile. SUCH big dick energy here. The others could NEVER.

“And I’ll have the plastic when you’re finished.” Literally for what, though? John, you little hoarding goblin.

And then Ringo responding to MLH’s “I love you” with “Yes, I love you too.” Yeah, Ringo wins the prize for most healthy beatle of the day.

*Pattie Boyd voice* “I just wish I knew what was going on there. But something. Something.”

Ugh, John looks so hurt. So tender. So heartbroken. While Paul is over there playing a damn funeral march because that’s the only way he lets himself express anything. But I actually love how Dennis O’Dell knows the clearest path to cheering John up is to say that Paul liked his idea. And how well it works. They’re literally so obvious to everyone but themselves.

I love the bit when John walks in on the rest of them discussing the live show and MLH calls, “We’ve decided. We’re going to Africa.” And Paul hurries to cut in, “No we’re NOT.” Because he knows exactly how John can get and he’s going to nip this in the bud before John gets let down. And of course, John is all “YEAH LETS GO LETS GO!” And he’s talking about how they always wish they were recording abroad. “We could be in LA, or FRANCE.” (side eye emoji)

Paul’s “Well said, John.” and “I’ve seen it, John. I went to the premiere. I thought you were great.” Why do all your compliments to him have to be in silly voices? Like, I know you think everyone is going to call you a pussy for saying something genuinely kind to your best friend, but they’re not, and he needs it.

Holy shit this was a long day. See you all tomorrow with another long-winded-ass post.

#paul mccartney #the beatles #john lennon #mclennon #ringo starr #george harrison #get back

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lovingmidnight · 1 year

Text

roommate

Jude Bellingham Fluff

a/n : dont rlly like this lmfao 💀little long but😭

I was always known to be a cold girl by others. got that intimidating look by the first glance, or so like everyone has told me. I didn't really mind these comment at first but it has really got to me for a while now. I've always been a nice girl who tried to give back whenever and however I could, but no one could see that about me. no one but my friend who was the classmate who sat next to me in school. Jude transferred to my school not long till graduation, so we spent a lot of time talking and taking classes together. he always sucked at english and geography which happened to be my strong suit, so I tutored him after classes in the school garden, but when it came to P.E, he bullied the shit out of the way I ran to the point ran slow as a turtle for a hot minute. he talked shit about my football skills, which I couldnt argue to - he indeed is a good player, at least compared to me.

even though he was a pain in the ass, he still was my only real friend in school. no one else tried to come up to me to say hi, nobody except jude, who out of 14 empty seats in the classroom, chose the empty seat next to mine in the back of the class. we soon drifted away from each others contact after graduation which left a lingering feeling in me, but not that I thought of that often. that was until the last 3 months, that he offered me to be his dorm mate, just around the season start. he explained how everyone in the england team shared bedrooms with eachother as jude was left with an empty room, and knowing his trashy style from the senior year, trashy furniture too.

the random phone call threw me off at first, but then when i heard him whining to have a roommate I finally agreed to stay for a little, just enough for the championship to be over. on today - it has come the day of the move in.

- "hello?" judes voice muffled as I picked the phone up

-"yeah what." I mumbled

"woah there, just wanna know if your all packed and ready to go."

-"i am, but you better get up here and help me with these heavy luggage."

"look out the window" he smirked

this dork has still remembered my address.

I turn around facing the window, the sight of him leaning in front of the car with a broad smile on his face, and an awkward wave.

-"oh shit-" I whisper under my breath as I could even close an eye, he dissapeared in pain sight only to hear a doorbell on my front door.

"come in." I say, opening the entrance as he unexpectedly grasps on to me, hugging my last breath away. it was awkward at first but it definitely felt good since I've hadn't had a long hug like that in a hot minute.

-"what was that for..." I joke waiting for his usual goofy response

"just missed you." he says calmly, coming and grabbing my luggage that was laying beside me

-"wait those are heavy-"

"I got it." he looked over his shoulder as he went down the stairs to his car.

taken back by the interaction, I tried to keep calm and went to the car, opening the passenger seat as a hand weighted on my shoulder, pulling the handle himself and leading me inside

-"wow, what a gentleman" I smirk, looking up at his tall figure as he chuckled lightly closing the door.

he kept quiet for some reason, which made me awkward but I just calmed my self down and took the jokes down a notch.

-"so... is it far..?" I ask, turning my head to him

-"no, not really." he looks back, making eye contact for a split second soon before focusing back on the road.

silence lingered for a little, looking out the window, didnt notice it at first.

"so...how have you been?" he asks, looking to the side to check on me since I was being quiet. "oh nothing much.. just been enjoying the break I have from college right now, it's been a lot you know."

"you know I didnt go to college y/n" he chuckles " but I get how tiring that would be for you. but you got it, you're a smart girl." he reached over to tap my head.

that moment, something inside me tensed, I don't know why or how but I pushed it away right away.

about 15 minutes later, almost fast asleep, jude pulled to the driveway, unbuckeling his seatbelt, soon realizing me laying still "y/n?" he uttered, shaking my shoulder lightly. as a deep sleeper I ignored it, but minutes later I woke up to judes face near mine, waving his hand over my eyes. his smiling face as he saw me wake up made me feel comforted as his soft voice didnt feel so bad even when I fully despise waking up. "do you want me to carry you or something?" he smiled "no I'm awake." I mumble rubbing my eyes.

jude took a look and started laughing hysterically

"what??, is there something on my face??" I whined

"did you forget you were wearing makeup? your eyes are fully blacked out" he wheezed

"WHAT" I immediately wake up and sit up straight, pulling down the car mirror, to see my eyes completely normal.

"jude. fucking. bellingham. I'm going to kill you." I growl as he laughed uncontrollably

"I knew it would be the only thing to get you up!"

to be honest it my fault, why did I trust him?! I didnt even wear make up today.

fast forward to evening, jude has helped me set up my stuff in our bedroom. everything has started to tidy up, ...except for judes clothes laying everywhere. but I tried to ignore that since I knew I was just a raging perfectionist. I got ready for bed, I quickly finished my skincare routine and walked out the connected bathroom in the room to the sight of jude laying down on the bed watching YouTube videos

"so when are you going to bring out a mattress" I ask casually

-"a mattress?" he asked

"yeah...? do you think I'm gonna sleep on the floor?"

"you're gonna sleep with me.." jude said casually

"PFFFTT" I cackled "great joke judie" I laughed nervously only to look to his serious confused face

"look, my teammates thought I wasnt gonna have a roommate so they gave me the room with one bed."

"well fuck." I mumble, closing my eyes in regret to why I agreed to do this.

"if it bothers you that much, I'll sleep on the floor." he sighs, looking back down at his phone

he always had that puppy voice that made you feel bad everytime you didn't agree so I had no other choice.

"alright fuck it. I'm not gonna sleep on the floor so might as well." I sighed, walking up to the bed with judes smug smiling face.

"schooch over boy." i laid inside the warm sheets which felt heavenly, soon after jude joined in too as it got pretty awkward fast. I tried to flip over, but he did aswell causing him to hug me from behind

"ew dont do that." I whisper in the dark

"its tight here I cant help it" he shout whispered back

"well should've thought of this earlier" I growled back through my breath.

soon enough, I find myself wide awake next to jude who was fast asleep. his legs tangled up with mine as his head rested on my shoulder, and if I was 100% honest, it made me feel safe. it made me feel comforted and warm. I tried to push away these feelings but I soon got the hint. it was close to 3 am when I sat up straight and realized,

"oh my god, I'm in love with jude."

..It all was real. I couldnt pretend anymore like I didn't flinch at every touch of him, that everytime he spoke it didn't send spirals down my stomach. It meant something.

I looked over to my shoulder to the sight of judes face, fully knocked out. I guess hes been practicing hard lately, it is world cup season after all. it made me smile but it also made me guilty. what if he doesnt feel the same? what if he sees me only platonically? it all terrified me.

I tried to shut myself out and laid down, jude immediately grasping onto me and nuzzling into my arms. I guess he was a deep sleeper but he really liked cuddling. the feeling of guilt stuck to me till the next morning where I spent the day being quiet.

waking up to jude already outside training, I went out to the kitchen to grab a bite, greeted with a plate of breakfast, including eggs with bacon and bagels - my favorite. I smiled beginning to sit down and eat. not long after I finished, getting up the chair to go out to the balcony, where jude practiced shooting in the field. I awkwardly waved to him. as he noticed me his face lit up, waving back like a happy dog. he signed me to come down to pitch, at first I declined since it was cold, I was only wearing a big t-shirt, with small shorts underneath, which looked barely noticable. I hesitated at first but soon accepted cause, fuck it, I got nothing to do anyway. and I modt certainly dont want to be there when his teammates come out.

I ran downstairs to the back door, which lead to a private field where jude was practicing.

"hey, you should've brought a jacket, it's cold here."

"I'm fine." I respond rather coldly

he looked at me with a face that made me feel guilty even more. "so,where are your teammates?" I make small talk "they're yet to arrive here." he responded, hitting the ball powerfully, which made me flinch a little.

"so... how do you guys hang out when you're here?" jude sat down the field, wiling his forehead with his arm

"we usually go to clubs, I mean they force me to go to clubs. you'd be surprised how many girls recognize us there." he smiles

"oh so you're getting some girls?" I stand in front of him

"I mean I just dont accept them." he says, looking up at me

"why not? arent you looking for a girlfriend?" I say, hoping for an answer that wouldn't keep me up at night

"I am, just I'm looking for a right one for me." he said, continuing his glance over me.

"you got a lot of options then from your club girls" I laugh but more like scoff

"well.." he hesitates, knowing he does.

"well I'm gonna go know." I say, making myself almost blow cover.

"why?"

"oh i dont know, just got cold maybe, i mean, I am wearing almost only a tshirt." I mumble trying to find an excuse.

"that's mine by the way." he smiles looking at his graphic tee was wearing.

"oh." I look down, recognizing the t-shirt that jude wore in high school, where he spent the whole night in my room while i was tutoring him for an upcoming english exam. that's why I didnt remember buying this...

"here-" I tugged on the bottom of the shirt almost pulling it up only to realize i wasnt wearing anything underneath. jude stood there awkwardly as I almost stripped infront of him,

"uhm. I'll go change then and give it to you later." I say awkwardly turning around

"no keep it. it looks better on you anyway." he yelled as I got closer to the door.

the rest of the day I kept quiet as well, until it came to dinner time, where his whole team was going to be there as well. I took a shower and dressed up nicely to find jude sitting outside the room with a white button up and black pants. that sighting almost sent me to a mental hospital but I kept casual, keeping on my cover.

"ready?" he says before turning around as he paused, analyzing my dress quietly

"yes." I answer trying to ignore him literally checking my outfit out.

"you look great." he mumbled shyly.

"thanks." I say coldly, trying not to scream my lungs out.

we sat in the car, soon arriving at the restaurant. his teammates already sitting down waiting for him as we walked in, whispering and giggling being heard.

"hey guys." jude sat down casually. "this is y/n, I finally got her to be my roommate." he smiled glancing over me.

"hey guys. it's a pleasure to be here." I say shyly

"welcome, it's a pleasure to have you here." foden put his hand out for a shake. jude glared over him as he shook my hand, I suspected him being mad but I pushed it away, thinking it was just my delusions.

we spent the rest of the evening chatting and laughing with the team which was a lot of fun. we got up, ready to leave.

"that was fun." he said

"yeah." I say dryly, trying to keep character once again.

"y/n, what's wrong?" he says, making me caught off guard.

"what do you mean?" I answer

"why are you being different, sort of cold with me?" he asks as I feel my throat tightening

"I'm not trying to do that.." i say holding back my tears from forming.

"did I do something? I'm sorry if I did anything that makes you unco-"

"you didn't do anything jude! I'm the problem for growing a fucking crush on you now I can't escape you. I know you don't feel the same way and you don't have to explain anything to me cause I know you have someone on your mind but-"

"what...?" he cuts me off "you think I like someone? who isnt you??

- y/n I've been trying to make it obvious by day one that i liked you. I chose the seat next to you in high school where I would spend years in. I always had a teacher in english before you offered me to be my tutor, I dropped her the next day. I always wrote little hearts next to your name in my contacts. and do you think that I couldn't live alone in my dorm? i just wanted you to be with me too and took the first excuse i could get. y/n I've been in love with you since the start of everything. it didn't go a day when you wouldn't cross my mind." he says.

that's when a stone fell off my chest. tears glazed over my eyes as I started whimpering in front of him. jude came near me and wrapped his arms around me.

"I love you, y/n. I've always had." he whispers holding me tightly.

"I love you more." I cry, holding him tighter

safe to say, I was no more awkward to sleep warmly in his arms.

#jude bellingham x reader #jude bellingham imagines #jude bellingham imagine #jude bellingham #football fanfic #fanfic #fluff #football #fiction #footballer x reader #footballer imagine #headcanons #oneshots #football imagine #imagines

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daydream-cement · 1 year

Note

considering the holidays are right around the corner i wanted to put in a request to comfort all my homies that, like myself, doesn’t celebrate with family, for various reasons. also i just want christmas with larissa

reader is a student and doesn’t wanna go home for the holidays because their family sucks ass, so couple of days before break, they ask larissa if anyone will be staying at nevermore during the holidays, if they could remain at the school and not have to go home, this their first holiday to have the choice not to spend it with family.

larissa volunteers to stay, her not having any plans and then they have a small celebration together :)

it’s just chosen family, larissa’s own nevermore family and r finally having a good memory to associate with the holiday. and then they make it a tradition to celebrate with each-other, even after r graduates :’)

Home for the Holidays

Larissa Weems x student!reader

Authors Note: I am someone who celebrates christmas. I tried to include the more religion neutral holiday experiences to make everyone feel welcome here <3

You had set this appointment up with Principal Weems last week. You were going to ask her to say at Nevermore over the holiday break so you wouldn’t have to go home. Now you stood in front of her while she gently smiled at you and asked, “Now what can I do for you, y/n?”

“Well you see, Principal Weems, I- I was hoping I could stay here at Nevermore instead of going home for the holidays. I promise I’ll behave and I won’t be a burden. I-” You were beginning to over explain yourself when she then interrupted you.

“Y/n, first off, you’re never a burden. Secondly, this is an unusual request. Please give me the day so I can figure out if this is an option for you.“ Larissa always wanted to make sure her students were comfortable and happy, but sometimes the board had different plans.

Later that day, during literature class, you noticed the email notification from Principal Weems. You hated to be doing something off task during class, but you just had to check to see what she said.

Mx. L/n,

I am happy to inform you that you may stay for the holidays here at Nevermore. There is a bit of paperwork that needs to be filled out, but once we get it all straightened out, you will be staying here for the holidays with me.

Enjoy your day,

Principal Weems

———

Everything did get straightened out. Now you sat in your favorite spot in the library, reading a book, and drinking some hot chocolate. Principal Weems sat in the seat across from you, dressed far more casual than normal, and read her own book. She had elected to stay there at Nevermore with you and she had been the one to make the hot chocolate you had been sipping.

Truly it was beginning to feel like winter as well. The window in front if you showed a picturesque landscape where the trees and buildings out the window were covered in a fresh blanket of snow.

“You know, y/n, later I was thinking we could sneak into the kitchen. The cook left some things to make gingerbread houses.” Principal Weems looked up at you while you were mid-sip.

You finish what was in your mouth before speaking, “That would be fun.”

———

Later in the kitchens, you were both certainly up to no good. You had suggested to use all of the leftover gingerbread components to make one massive house. Principal Weems seemed to like the challenge and immediately accepted.

Larissa had dubbed it a mega mansion for your very rich and famous gingerbread person. While Principal Weems was more than happy to assist in constructing the mansion, you took over construction while she focused on the intricate design details.

You chatted on and off. Principal Weems would talk to you about her hometown in England. You told her about your werewolf pack back home. She shared a little about the life of shapeshifters explaining that they were a very secretive group. You told her that she was the best principal and she told you that your were one of the best students. A few hours had passed, yet you didn’t grow tired of spending time with her.

“You are quite good at this, y/n.” Larissa laughed while adding a final touch to the roofing before she went to retrieve more icing, “We make a pretty good team.”

“Not so bad yourself, Principal Weems.” You smile to yourself as you begin working on the four car garage. Never have you had such a peaceful and fun time creating something with gingerbread.

“We will have to make this an annual thing.” Weems glanced up at you from her frosting and gave you a wink.

———

It did become an annual thing. Every year you were a student, you and Principal Weems spent the holidays creating new gingerbread creations. You even went so far as to make the gingerbread yourselves rather than have the cook do it.

Years later when you returned to Nevermore with your own children, Principal Weems greeted you with a hug and immediately began sharing the stories with your children of all the holidays you spent together, building your beautiful gingerbread creations.

#larissa weems #plantonic #student!reader #fanfic #wednesday netflix #gwendoline christie #larissa weems x reader #oneshot

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musingbythor · 5 days

Text

the sea child sings — a pacifica raynott playlist

#01. Salt and the Sea — The Lumineers

I'll let the darkness swallow me whole (Eu vou deixar a escuridão me engolir inteiro) I need to find you, need you to know (Eu preciso te encontrar, preciso que você saiba) I'll be your friend in the daylight again (Eu vou ser seu amigo na luz do dia novamente) There we will be, like an old enemy (Lá nós vamos ser, como um velho inimigo) Like the salt and the sea (Como o sal e o mar)

#02. ocean eyes — Billie Eilish

No fair (Não é justo) You really know how to make me cry (Você sabe mesmo como me fazer chorar) When you gimme those ocean eyes (Quando você me dá aqueles olhos de oceano) I'm scared (Eu estou assustada) I've never fallen from quite this high (Eu nunca caí de tão alto) Fallin' into your ocean eyes (Caindo dentro dos seus olhos de oceano) Those ocean eyes (Aqueles olhos de oceano)

#03. Ocean Breathes Salty — Modest Mouse

The ocean breathes salty, won't you carry it in? (O oceano respira salgado, você não vai carregar isso?) In your head, in your mouth, in your soul (Na sua cabeça, na sua boca, na sua alma) And maybe we'll get lucky and we'll both grow old (E talvez nós tenhamos sorte e envelheçamos) Well, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I hope so (Bem, eu não sei, eu não sei, eu não sei, eu espero que sim)

#04. Homesick — Noah Kahan

I would leave if only I could find a reason (Eu iria embora se eu apenas conseguisse encontrar um motivo) I'm mean because I grew up in New England (Eu vou malvado porque eu cresci na Nova Inglaterra) I got dreams but I can't make myself believe them (Eu tenho sonhos, mas não consigo me fazer acreditar neles) Spend the rest of my life with what could have been (Passar o resto da minha vida com o que poderia ter sido) And I will die in the house that I grew up in (E eu vou morrer na casa em que eu cresci)

#05. King — Florence + The Machine

But a woman is a changeling, always shifting shape (Mas uma mulher é um metamorfo, sempre mudando de forma) Just when you think you have it figured out (Assim que você pensa que compreendeu) Something new begins to take (Algo novo começa a tomar conta) What strange claws are these scratching at my skin? (Que garras estranhas são essas arranhando a minha pele?) I never knew my killer would be coming from within (Eu nunca saberia que o meu assassino viria de dentro) I am no mother, I am no bride, I am king (Eu não sou mãe, eu não sou noiva, eu sou rei)

#06. It's Called: Freefall — Paris Paloma

Anyway, you say you're too busy (De qualquer forma, você diz que está muito ocupada) Saving everybody else to save yourself (Salvando todo mundo para salvar a si mesma) And you don't want no help, oh, well (E você não quer ajuda nenhuma, oh, bem) That's the story to tell (Essa é a história a contar)

#07. Ship to Wreck — Florence + The Machine

And, ah, my love, remind me, what was it that I said? (E, ah, meu amor, me lembre, o que foi que eu disse?) I can't help but pull the earth around me to make my bed (Eu não posso evitar puxar a terra ao meu redor para fazer a minha cama) And, ah, my love, remind me, what was it that I did? (E, ah, meu amor, me lembre, o que foi que eu fiz?) Did I drink too much? Am I losing touch? (Eu bebi demais? Estou perdendo o jeito?) Did I build a ship to wreck? (Eu construí esse navio para ele naufragar?)

#08. I am not a woman, I'm a god — Halsey

I just wanna feel something, tell me where to go (Eu só quero sentir algo, me fale para onde ir) 'Cause everybody knows something I don't wanna know (Porque todo mundo sabe algo que eu não quero saber) So I'll stay right here 'cause I'm better all alone (Então eu vou ficar aqui mesmo porque eu estou melhor sozinha) Yeah, I'm better all alone (Sim, eu estou melhor sozinha) I am not a woman, I'm a God (Eu não sou uma mulher, eu sou um Deus) I am not a martyr, I'm a problem (Eu não sou um mártir, eu sou um problema) I am not a legend, I'm a fraud (Eu não sou uma lenda, eu sou uma fraude) So keep your heart, 'cause I already got one (Então guarde o seu coração, porque eu já tenho um)

#࿐࿐𝓈𝑒𝒶 𝒸𝒽𝒾𝓁𝒹࿐࿐ extras.#várias músicas com tema de mar sim

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monkee-mobile · 3 months

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Do you mayhaps have any more Davy Baby thoughts to spare?🤲

Sorry this took a bit to get to! I’ve been busy and a little brain dead so thoughts haven’t been coming so easily but I guess I’ll talk about Davy when he gets a bit older!

In my personal little monkees universe davy loses his mom young like real davy did in real life. He starts flying out to England a lot from like ‘70-‘72 to visit his father who gets sick (his sister starts paying for his flights so it makes it easier). Of course all the boys are distraught when Davy’s over in England. Micky and Peter miss their friend and Mike makes himself sick worrying if Davy’s okay over there. The one who it’s the hardest for though is Davy who’s without his friends and helping out his father, who the whole family is worried might die. He gets judged pretty heavily by his oldest sister and extended family for being a long hair hippie kid, so he feels pretty isolated and just worried for his father all the time.

On top of that, England reminds him of being a kid, for better or for worse. He’s back in his childhood room, and he’s back with his family. There’s reasons why he left england in the first place (not like awful stuff, more just feeling stifled and wanting to “be free” (haha) (“I wanna be free” is the first song he writes on his own. mike is very surprised cause he didn’t really know davy had it in him to pull his weight in songwriting and secretly very proud), and just feeling judged by his family for not meeting their expectations. Young davy idolized americans and had dreams of being a star, but his father and grandfather were not happy about him leaving and pursuing “impractical” things, which is why he tries to prove to his grandfather he’s successful and alright and made the right choice going to california)

But davy feels stuck and alone, with no easy way to get back to his friends—who he’s definitely started to think of as home, more home than england—unless he wants to take a whole plane ride and have to make grand excuses to his whole family. So he just feels awful whenever he’s there for too long. The boys have each other to lean on. Peter misses and worries about davy but mike assures him davy’s alright. Davy’s stuck in his bedroom. So he calls Mike.

It starts as “call us when you get there so we know you’re alright” and he calls up most nights to see how everyone is and update them on what he’s doing, but it starts that, after Micky or peter inevitably hand the phone over to mike, and mike asks him how he’s doing, davy just breaks down. He feels really small and just lets it all out over the phone. Poor thing is crying and Mike feels awful because there’s really nothing he can do but say “you’ll come back soon and we’ll be okay” and “we love you davy” (every time davy comes home the boys all give him a giant hug in the airport with lots of jumping and yelling and picking up and spinning and maybe some kisses on the forehead and davy always clings to mike really hard for a few days afterward and mike doesn’t say anything about it but he doesn’t mind. just holds davy when he needs it and is there for him)

eventually davy’s dad does pass away and mike would never admit this but deep in him he’s kind of relieved it finally happened because davy being away all the time was stressful on all of them, both money-wise and finding gigs and establishing their image as a four-piece group, but also just because they were all always worried about each other or worried davy would get sucked back into his life in england, and davy was always stressed out about his father even when he came back to California. So it’s not a good thing that his father has passed, but they can have some peace of mind now.

But his dad’s passing hits davy like a brick because, well, there goes both of his parents. They all go off to england for the funeral with him and davy stays quiet for most of the early time. Just silent and big eyed and keeping up appearances and all. Mike sees him break little bits at a time and he lets davy sleep in his bed at night and mike holds him close and rubs his back and sings to him. It isn’t until they get back to the pad that davy just breaks down. inconsolable crying and panicking and all. He feels orphaned and upset and horrified that he could lose someone like that. He basically spends a long time in a very fragile state and mike starts taking very special care of him. He goes full mumma.

Davy has always been pretty baby, but now he’s gone from bratty, rebellious toddler, to very sad, weepy little boy. he’s always with mike and mike makes sure he’s eating and drinking water and gives him bubble baths and things and lets him sit on his lap and reads to him and sings him silly little songs and just lets davy be as little as he needs to be. Davy, still the little attention hog that he is does eat all of this up and is full on attached to mike, lovey dovey and snuggly. Peter also snuggles with davy a lot of the time because he’s just calm and warm and nice. (micky can be a lot. he’s very good with davy, but sometimes the baby is taking a nap (and drooling on mikes shoulder, but so it goes when you’re a long-suffering mother) and mike needs to just firmly tell micky that he needs to stop shaking the house and barking or something)

Davy starts, jokingly at first, calling mike “mum” at this point, and micky pokes fun at him saying he’s Davy’s mama, but eventually davy starts calling him “mumma” when he’s really all soft (and mike internally melts because davy starts saying mumma when he’s all sleepy curled up on mikes lap and he’s just so darn precious to mike with his big eyes and button nose chewing on his thumb and trying not to suck on it and clutching onto mikes shirt) and, yknow, mike just asks davy one time, (because mikes growing out a beard at this point because it’s the 70s and he looks very much not like someone’s mother) if maybe he’d like to say “papa” or something. Davy is like “no, you’re mumma” and mikes like, “okay so i just have to deal with this now” and accepts that he is a mom now (he thinks of himself as “mama”, but starts to realize to Davy he’s “mumma” and mike thinks about that for a time and decides that that’s sweet as all hell)

But yes, mike is mumma and davy is slowly healing. Davy’s definitely being babied for maybe longer than he “should have” been (and pushing his luck with mike and being a little shit again because he’s so so spoiled) but it really does help him out. and he gets pampered and coddled and pulled around in a red wagon for a bit because he’s just that damn spoiled.

I’m sorry this is going on for so long and got pretty sad honestly but I have a BIT more!!

So davy starts to go back to business as normal (even though at the pad he’s so totally all baby for like the better part of the early 70s) but he does start to tell Mike to let him be more independent and that he’d like to just try to move on. So mike lets him (inside he’s pretty hurt. he misses his baby!!) and they do still cuddle and stay very close and Davy still chills in his lap and takes naps on him and holds onto Mike’s shirt very tightly, but some things ease up slowly. Davy goes out with micky and they look for chicks and things and mike stops reading bedtime stories to Davy. (he dearly misses that and it makes him pretty sad. he reads to peter a lot though so he’s not completely without someone to take care of) davy doesn’t call him mumma much anymore unless he’s feeling particularly vulnerable.

So flash forward to the 80s and davy is a full middle aged man. they all are. Mike is going gray in his beard (which is quite distinguished he thinks), and has finally cut off his long hair cause it’s just easier to manage with it short, and davy is in the process of growing out a mullet of all things because he thinks it’ll help the group look more “trendy” (micky laughs his ass off the first time davy comes home with the haircut and davy sulks with mike, who just chuckles and rubs his back, and Davy refuses to talk to mick for like two days. don’t worry, davy will get back at him when he has that hideous 90s ponytail)

But, yeah, davy isn’t really such a little guy anymore, but mike has softened up quite a bit and is more open with his feelings and all, he’s just softened generally (Generally meaning he’s a big softie and cries happy tears over little things and they all start giving each other platonic kisses that become commonplace in their household), and though he’s a big boy now, davy is still mikes little one because he became davy’s mumma with his heart and soul and Davy is his baby for always, and so sometimes mike just has to slip in a baby voice when he’s talking to davy and watch davy slip a bit back into their old dynamic because davy cannot resist attention and he misses his mumma too, he just wanted to grow up a bit.

Okay so that’s a mammoth of a post. I’m sorry if it’s way too much or not what you were thinking, but this kept coming to me so here it all is. I didn’t get into all the specifics about davy when he’s all baby, but he’s VERY spoiled by his mum and his big brothers. they try not to spoil him but he’s just so damn cute when he gets all pouty. He pouts A LOT, but he’s can also be very giggly and sweet. He’s very ticklish too, but DO NOT TELL MICKY !! Micky thinks davys adorable, he kind of co-parents with mike at points because once davy gets comfortable, there’s only so much toddler energy and “mumma mumma mumma mummamummamumma” mike can take.

Anyway, I guess that’s where I’ll leave it. Davybaby forever ✌️

#the monkees #davy jones #mike nesmith #davybaby #i’m sorry this post is so long…#tw parent death #because that happens in this giant post #peter tork #micky dolenz #monkees tv show #the monkees headcanons #age regression

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anti-dazai-blog · 1 month

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Second Anniversary Special

As many of the long-time followers of this blog know, I originally started out on the classic literature side of tumblr, which is what lead to my venturing into bsd. As an homage to my roots as a classic lit enthusiast, I’ll be going through all the works that I’ve read written by bsd authors:

The Spider’s Thread by Akutagawa

This short story is brought up in a lot of animes, which is unfortunately the most likely way western bsd fans. I could make an entire separate post of commentary on how the American school system doesn’t cover most foreign literature (outside of English [as in from England] and French works), and that is an absolute travesty. However, that’s not what we’re covering right now.

Anyway. The Spider’s Thread is a very short story—like two pages at most. You can go read it now. For all the other entries I plan on rating the novels out of 5, but this one’s truly too short to rate. If you wanna read it you can find a hundred pdfs online. The same probably goes for most works of classic literature, so. Go wild enjoy the wonderful world of free online pdfs.

The Tell-Tale Heart by Edgar Allan Poe

I was probably assigned other works by Poe, but this one is most likely his most famous short story. I was assigned it in middle school/high school/ and at least twice in college. Again, very short short story—you can read it in a few minutes tops.

5/5 for the sole reason of it aligning with my personal sense of humor. I get that it’s not supposed to be funny, but unreliable narrators are and will always be hilarious to me. I love a guy insisting that he’s not crazy while he’s off murdering a guy. Cask of Amontillado-core protagonist. Funny because E.A. Poe also wrote Cask of Amantillado. I’m out here starting to suspect that E.A. Poe just really loved writing his unnamed unreliable narrator protagonists.

Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain

I’ve never read Tom Sawyer, but in 11th grade my class read Huckleberry Finn. 3/5 because I don’t like the way it was taught in class, but I did enjoy analyzing it more than some other books we did.

Crime and Punishment by Dostoyevsky

Currently reading it so I can’t give much feedback, but so far I’d like this guy (Raskolnikov not Dostoyevsky) to meet Meursault from The Stranger. If anyone’s made this crossover, please send it to me. And if not and you wanna go make it yourself—please I’ll love you forever.

Dracula by Bram Stoker

I mean we’ve all done Dracula Daily. Or at least I’ll assume you’ve heard of it. 5/5, Mina’s best girl, Quincey’s best boy, I have very basic opinions but I’m standing by them.

--Bonus

The Stranger by Camus

Meursault the prison is clearly named after Meursault, the fictional character who famously goes to prison, right. We’re all on the same page about this, right?

Anyway if you’ve never heard of or read the stranger, [spoilers] it’s about this guy who kills a guy for no reason (“it was just so hot outside, idk what happened but now there’s a dead guy, this is a good enough criminal defense right? You’re not gonna send me to jail for just this one little mistake---oh you’re giving me the death penalty? Ah. I see.”) Solid 4/5—points deducted for being a little slow by some parts (although I can’t vouch for how it is in the original French, this was only my impression from the English translation I read)

—————

After making this list, it’s clear that I haven’t read too many books my bsd authors, so next years my anniversary special will be more about the classic literature I have read. I do plan to keep posting until then. So please enjoy another year of the anti-dazai blog!!

#Anniversary special #Once again I’m about 10 days late #I think the same thing happened last year #Alas the drawbacks of creating a blog right before final assignments start being due #Bsd #akutagawa #mark twain #bram stoker #fyodor dostoevsky #edgar allan poe #albert camus #bungo stray dogs #bungou stray dogs #Not proofreading this just gonna post #Desperately trying to get a post out on the date I promised to post by

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james-vi-stan-blog · 4 months

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I’m tired of people on Twitter calling King James a groomer like they’ve done research on his history🤦‍♀️

-✨

OK I have been holding myself back from fully saying everything I think about this. I already rambled about it (to you and once to someone else) but do you wanna hear my fully problematic opinion?

This reaction is homophobic and misogynist.

Because if THIS is the period drama that makes these people cry "groomer", if GEORGE VILLIERS the 21-year-old fully age of majority male social climber who wades into the Jacobean court and slugs it out for the top position is the person in history that's making them fret over unfree choice and power dynamics, what the fuck?

THIS is "grooming" and "csa"? THIS? While all around them in this period, you know what age the women—you know, the gender that literally completely loses an independent legal identity and has no rights and is literally referred to as part of a husband's chattels—are getting married off at? Do these people have anything to say about Henrietta Maria (15), Anne of Denmark (15), MARIANA OF AUSTRIA (14), or Mary Princess Royal (10/12)? How many period dramas have these people watched and smiled at the pretty ladies in pretty dresses, and then a young man wheedles his way into the bed of the king and THAT'S what needs discourse about?

"James was taking advantage of George's financial situation" WOMEN. HAD. NO. RIGHTS. Torture is accepted in the courts. The social structure is completely unequal all the way down and this is the understood as the will of God. There are no human rights. The Levellers (30 years from M&G) are going to be largely rejected as ridiculous. Margaret Cavendish is going to be known as "Mad Madge" (50 years from M&G) because she's a woman who has thoughts. John Locke's treatises aren't gonna be published until 70+ years from M&G. The Mansfield Judgment against slavery in England is 150+ years from M&G. And as far as the rights of minors go, R v Hopley was 245 years after M&G. (If you don't know that case don't look it up unless you want nightmares)

Yeah I know this is whataboutism but seriously. SERIOUSLY.

What kind of bizarre fucking fairytales have these people been consuming where the system of monarchy is a fun and friendly egaliatian social environment where there is no coercion and all relationships especially royal ones are certified unproblematic and 100% acceptable according to our modern standards? don't tell me i do actually know, ugh

"This relationship has coercive elements in it!" YEAH. YEAH, IT DOES. That is, we hope, one of the points of the show? The point of telling stories about relationships in the past? To examine how humans, who had emotional needs and hopes, coped under unfree oppressive conditions and were drawn into those same networks of exploitation and abuse? This weird and ugly story about a remarkable relationship and all the horrible people orbiting around it is such a fascinating case study about how real human feelings like affection, loneliness, kinship get refracted through the lens of politics and power, and the result is not pretty. But flattening it down into a tale of inhuman unfeeling Bad People would lose so much potential for exploring how bad and disgusting that SYSTEM is. If it's just Bad People Being Bad To Each Other For No Reason then the historical conditions are absolved and we can file this narrative away into a box that has nothing to do with us Good People and has nothing to say and nothing that could make us reflect about the past and future, and has no purpose other than spectacle and voyeurism and schadenfreude.

Guys, we're in a bad time here in 2024. And I cannot help but think that this kind of reckless leverage of "groomer" against specifically a gay relationship, whether intentionally or not, is part of the ongoing, intentional campaign by international regressive community to dilute the meaning of that word so that it can be deployed against real-life gay and trans people.

Even though I personally don't think it's accurate to say that James groomed George (Mary did if anything, but again, adult man who was not legally under her power), if someone wants to believe that, whatever, we're all interpeting history here. But using that word, in this particular moment, going after this particular show, reviving the bogeyman of the homosexual predator that those of us who are old enough remember being openly used against us and see it getting dusted off to be used again right now, is deeply suspect to me and I just…

Anyway name an unproblematic relationship from the period of coverture.

#james's weird stan rambles again #I'M SORRY IT'S MAKING ME MAD #wherever you live please vote #the same people slinging these words around want to bring those bad old days back #content note #tw misogyny #tw homophobia #tw grooming #tw csa #tw transphobia #tw slavery #tw history #tw politics #tw abuse #tw discourse #tw child abuse

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guess-ill-dye · 6 months

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WANNA LEARN SOME HISTORY???

Cool because I have a test tomorrow and I want to write abt it >:3

So let's say we are in the beautiful year of 1870. You are a germanic state trying to unite to other germanic states so you can form a massive empire.

Now let's say you are France. You see a powerful nation being born and decide " Well that's threatening " So you know what you have to do: boicot it ofc

But then they realise what you have been trying to do and invade your country as revenge. They do it with ease, and they go to your simbol of power in Paris, The Versalles (idk how to write that in English lol) and establish themselves as a nation: The Germanic-Prussian empire (again, the term in portuguese I think is "Império Germânico-Prussiano" and Idk how that translates.) And then just leave, but keeping a little part of your country with them. ( portugues expression incoming- Uma espinha entalhada no orgulho francês)

So after that there is a ton of peace and cultural flourishment, in am epoque designated for "Belle Èpoquè" in wich there is like a looot of beautiful things. Let's say the social side of it. People started having more fun since they worked less and the middle class was emerging rapidly. The cinemas, Caffès, operas, theatres, films/movies, amusement parks, all were created at this time. Also penicillin, as they were ton of medical advances at that time. They created the telefone and the plane and the car and WOW everything is beautiful.

In art we see two main themes -> women and nature (often together). Details are suuuuuper important. Clothes get more baloney and plain, with big puff shoulders that were so big that they had to be stored with pillows inside in order not to lose shape. Buildings are BEAUTIFUL and everything is really. It's a great time for humans.

Then people start to get greedy. Africa, still unexplored in its interior is object of many country's desire. They are 5 main countrys who had colonies before: Portugal, Spain, England, France and Holland. 3 new countries want to have some colonies too: Italy, Germany and Belgium.

In 1885 a conference is hosted in Berlim to divide Africa between European countries, being two main things that are considered:

Historical right- given to the 5 starters for beig there the longest/ already having stuff there

Ocupation right- If the country is willing to explore, populate, and take care of that area. The ones who got the most following this right are the 3 big rich countries: England, France and Germany.

Overall the ocuparion right is prioritized, so Portugal comes up with The Pink Map ( no specific reason for the name it was just the color lmao), wich claims to Portugal the lands between the Angolan and Mozambican coast. This is approved.

BUT the English ofc wanted to build a giant train line that connected Cairo and Cape Town, so they needed our ( Portugal's )territory, and since they had like massive belic power the got us and Ultimatum, so that we either leaved or got into war. The king at the time, D. Carlos gave in and England NEVER MADE THE TRAIN LINE WHAT OMG.

Yeyeyey ty for reading this big history lesson bubye!!!

WISH ME LUCK ON MY TEST <3

#guess-ill-dye #history #histoire #history facts #test #<3 #rant post #infodump #information #belle epoque #art noveau #art #history addict #<3333333333333333333333333333

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gaz-light · 1 year

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CW: Me but ugly

Ya know what fuck it. I don't intend to this mid week. I wanna do it now while I've got the time and honestly I'm a bit excited.

This is John. He's the guy I used to be. I don't have many other pictures of him but I saved these ones for this purpose. They're some of the few I could stand for some reason.

It's hard to think I ever used to look like that. Think or act the way I did. You could go back right now and tell him the events of the past like year or so and honestly he'd probably understand it. Would be too scared as shit nervous and doubtful to ever believe it. Hated himself too much to imagine it being this way.

This is how I started off on Hormones 1 year ago. 5/31/22. Somewhere between 11/7/21 and 4/9/22 everything went to shit. I crashed my motorcycle and broke my arm, ended up broke, didnt get into grad school, the girl I was madly in love with just let me know I was being replaced by someone with a pussy. It took about everything happy in my life turning to shit over night to finally crack the egg that I had been growing in for so long.

There were signs before. Things I always knew. Always hung out with girls. Liked sapphic content. Felt detachment from peers of my agab, enjoyed pretending at being an internet femboy. Horribly autistic. Fucking hated my body. Hated hated hated hated hated. I had a closeted sissy kink and dressed up FOR YEARS. So much more. Eventually I started hooking up with trannies the same way I hooked up with lesbians and things began to click. Something in me thought ya know what, I don't have to just admire and adore and yearn for them. Then a good friend of mine consoling me one April night more or less extended an invitation and I didn't look back.

And then she was born. I think these photos are from maybe a month post starting HRT. Would you believe I hadn't seen myself without facial hair in like 10 years before this point. I hadn't shaved it all off since I was 13. I'm hispanic. Greek and Cuban so I've had this accursed facial and body hair for fucking ever. I was so afraid the first time I picked up that razor. I didnt know if I'd like what was on the other side. I felt safe and secure in the validation I got from other people that I thought it'd be ok if I was just unhappy with myself forever. I hated whatever I was so much that I didnt have the energy to care for her.

Then I shaved.

I looked in the mirror and I thought that girl looked kinda cute. For the first time I really didnt think I looked so bad. My friends were very supportive thankfully. Not everyone was. Certainly not dear old dad who still wont call me by my name or gender me properly. The man who told me god had cursed him with 2 faggots. My little trans brother and I. The man who let me know I was a disappointment and that neither I or anyone of us were real women. I still havent forgiven him for so much. But I am trying to let it go. Even the cis people were kinda nice. I lost some who were kinda edgy friends from highschool. Nothing of value was lost.

Since then I've worked to navigate the professional world as a woman. My first boss at my first real post college job was this British woman from England who made my life kinda hell. Preyed upon and picked on me and embarrassed me professionally. One of the 2 other women at the office. She never would admit to it but I think she resented me for it. I was also the only tranny there. Well sorta. There was 1 other who worked down in facilities doing the trash and dishes for the labs. But not up there. Not on the 8th floor with us in the "war room".

And this is where and who we are now 1 year later. Same eyes. Same 5'0 looking ass. But happier. Smiles when she looks in the mirror. Can actually do things for herself. Set boundaries. Care. Maybe she can even love too. I've placed myself into countless lesbian romance fantasies and I feel like I have a shot at living them. I used to be like 200 pounds. I'm down to 128 and also built like a brick house full of muscle. I was horrified of being trapped in that body of mine forever and the fear and doubt that I'd never make it even this far scared me into doing nothing until i had little else to lose.

Let me leave you with some wise advice that friend who cracked my egg once gave to me: The best time to plant a tree is 20 years ago. The second best time is right now.

Transitioning was the best decision I ever made for myself. Happy birthday Morrigan. I love you.

#pin #anniversary #morri posting

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klein-sodor-bahn · 9 months

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Percy Gresley - Stanier (Avonside)

Teased him Charlie and Henry’s bios but here he is. Percy as a tiny 6 year old boy. And now I’ll tell ya about how he found his new family.

Percy came to the orphanage at 3 years old. His parents were unable to care for him properly although the real reason is unknown. He was a lonely boy in the orphanage playing alone with his wooden trains. He also watches a certain talking trains show. The other children despite how nice he was found him way too strange and some were terrified of his outbursts when he realized something was wrong with his stuff.

When Henry and Charlie entered the play room were all the kids play together the little redhead caught Henry’s eye. He was playing with his favorite engine a little green tank engine. Henry sat down beside him and watched how the little boy pushed the train along the loop. Henry asked him what’s the name of the little engine. Percy with big eyes replies: Percy, just like me! “And what is Percy currently doing?”, Henry asked. “Pulling some trucks!” “He should be careful with those troublesome trucks”, chuckled Henry. “You know Thomas?!”, Percy was flabbergasted. “My mum read it to me when I was sick”, smiled Henry, “I have to go now Percy.” “Mister!” “Yes?” “What’s your name?” “Henry”

After this encounter Henry and Charlie knew Percy was the right one. They traveled to Henry’s parents and got Henry’s old toys and books. His parents had kept everything. The duo painted and decorated the room within a week. And on a Sunday they traveled to the orphanage. Percy was again playing alone with his wooden Percy toy. Henry sat down again like last time and Charlie on the other side. Henry gets out a rather worn down green tender engine and places it on the track. “Hullo, Percy”, he began. The little boy froze. “Don’t be scared Percy. Would you like to come home?” With a shaky voice the little boy answers,” I..I would love to, Henry” Percy lets go of the toy and falls into Henry’s arms. “I…thank you, dad” Charlie meanwhile picked up the engines and rails and put them in a bag. “Percy dear we need to get your clothes”, she says, “can you show me your room so I can do it for you?” “Yes mum!”, with that he jumps up and runs towards the door. “Hurry mum we don’t wanna cause confusion and delay!” “I’m coming, Percy”, Charlie laughs.

Percy loved his new room and all of Henry’s cats. After a bit of suspicion they all regularly come to Percy for cuddles. And every night Henry or Charlie read a story about talking engines that live on an island near England. Donald and Douglas were at first jealous of the little dude, but when they learned that he loved playing pretend and hide and seek they adored him. Especially when he visits them at their heritage railway. They love to give him footplate rides. One thing Henry and Charlie learn is that Percy is afraid of bodies of water he can’t see the bottom of. So teaching him how to swim in the nearby lake was a tough challenge. And was made even tougher after Thomas had pushed Percy into that very same lake.

Percy and Thomas are like frienenmies. Thomas loves to bully Percy who regularly claps back and calls him out for his bad manner. Which offends Thomas who has a very high opinion of himself. Percy loves his new parents to pieces. He’s a sweet little angel although he’s accident prone so Charlie has to patch him up a lot. But that doesn’t stop him from exploring nature with his dad and occasionally visiting his mum at work in the local pub to the delight of the customers.

#ttte human au #ttte humanized #ttte #ttte percy #thomas and friends humanized #lore #lore dump #look at him #he’s so cute #Percy is just and innocent little Angel and I love him.#Also yes the RWS and TVS are canon in this AU #Percy must be protected at all cost!

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mermaidsirennikita · 11 months

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Which are your favourite proposals in historical, modern romance and movies?

Omg, fun!

For movies, I immediately have to call out Crazy Rich Asians. The moment when the ring was revealed, I remember this audible gasp in my theater (including me and my mom). Such a great way to close a loop in a movie, while being super romantic and swoony.

Obviously, Pride and Prejudice 2005. I prefer the way Joe Wright did it not only to the 90s miniseries, but the book as well. The rain adds to the atmosphere and passion, the anger and tension is palpable, the way the mood changes when McFadyen goes "Mr. WickHAM", the almost kiss. So good.

For all that there is some content that hasn't aged the best, Colin Firth's proposal in Love Actually was primo. The language barrier was used perfectly, and of course the reveal that she'd been learning English while he was learning Portuguese.... adorable.

This is technically in a miniseries, but it's piggybacking off two movies, so I'll mention it... When Q tracks Shelby down in The Best Man: The Final Chapters and does a grovelprosal??? So good. Like, you watched these two, objectively the most caustic and like... edgy? People in the series, dance around each other with random hookups (and a secret baby lol) for years, and he finally has to completely debase himself in front of a bunch of watching women who are like, filming this shit, begging her not to leave... So fucking satisfying.

For books, I would have to say....

The Bride Goes Rogue by Joanna Shupe and The Duke Gets Even both have really good proposals, and neither one goes well for the men in question for very different reasons. Preston's in Bride is honestly a bad proposal because he's a broken human being who doesn't know how to accept that he loves Katherine and needs to be with her, and she's like "I deserve better than 'we should get married because we make sense and the sex is bomb'" and just sweeps out and leaves him like a broken man. Whereas Lockwood in Duke is completely in love with Nellie (him being like "I fucking worship you and am completely incapable of getting anything done when you're not here because it's like my arm's been ripped off or some shit" is.... amazing) and completely capable of expressing that love, but she cannot accept it. And he knows this. But he has to try anyway because he's SO in love with her.

Something Fabulous by Alexis Hall has a great one where Valentine proposes to Bonny when he's like, hiding in a tree or something. And he's basically like "listen it's Victorian England and we're both men so it can't be legal but I want you to be whatever a husband is for me and this is VERY DIFFICULT FOR ME TO EXPRESS". It's adorable.

Enzo like... grovelprosing to Gia in Mafia Madman by Mila Finelli is so deranged. It's like, a quick kidnap (that's their love language), a "I can't breathe without you FORGIVE ME", a negotiation of what she needs out of the relationship (a huge ring, a long engagement, maybe a vasectomy from him because she's not sure if she wants kids, and freedom to have her career) and him being like "YES FINE WHATEVER" because he's realized he needs her like air, lol. My beloved garbage people.

The thing in A Kingdom of Dreams by Judith McNaught where it's really less a proposal and more Royce taking Jennifer to the priest and being like "marry us, neither of you have a choice and I don't wanna be here either". And then he calls her a bitch. I loved that.

There are like... three? Proposals in Sierra Simone's New Camelot trilogy (one of which is accepted) and then sort of like an on the spot private spiritual wedding ceremony with what I guess is a proposal right before? And I loved all of it. There's so much angst and so much intense longing in those books. So many times for my boy Embry to get proposed to and go "I'M NOT GOOD ENOUGH TBH".

OOOh I loooove the proposal in The Long Game by Rachel Reid. There's such a great buildup to it, and it's so romantic, and I also love that Ilya and Shane go from this big emotional sappy proposal to fucking on the floor immediately after. Good for Them.

#romance novel blogging #book recs

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mrschristensen · 4 days

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Soulmates

Why hello there! I haven't wrote in a while... and I really wanted to do my first series, so here we are! I haven't planned out when the other parts will post or how many parts there will be, but I was hoping to get at least one or two out today! I woke up to this picture today... and I fell. In my kitchen. I'm okay (no I'm not), but I BARKED. It inspired me to do this series (because there may or may not be a part where he's wearing this, I'm still contemplating), so yeah. I hope you enjoy it <3

WARNINGS: age gap (oc is 20, Hayden is 49), oc use (I'm using my oc but you can imagine it as you; oc has brown hair/brown eyes), fem oc, slow burn/porn with plot (eventual smut), Rachel basically doesn't exist (sorry to everyone who loves dad Hayden), lmk if I missed any! <3

part two (not out) , part three? (not out), part four? (not out)

WC: 2,422 words

Fan Expo Philadelphia, one of the busiest cons in New England. The very place where a lot of lives change, but today, it’d be two specific people coming together and experiencing something they never have before.

“C’mon!” Tori, her best friend, says excitedly, dragging her along with her. This was Elaina’s second time going to con, now six years later. She quickly recognized where she was being taken.

“Why are we going to the Community Area?” she asked as she was still being dragged.

“Don’t you wanna go meet Hayden again?!” she says with a huge smile on her face. She knew she was going to get her ass kicked because she hated when she spent money on her (especially things as expensive as this), but she, on the other hand, loved to spoil her.

“You’re joking,” she breathed out, in pure shock. Going to Philly was a surprise in itself, but meeting her celebrity crush for the second time, at the same place she did before?

“Nope! Now c’mon, I wanted to get here early for a reason,” she replies quickly, all giddy now that she revealed her surprise, still gripping her wrist as she heads over to the photo op line.

After at least an hour of waiting in line, they’re taken behind the curtains and one of the few groups in that area.

And there he is, in all his glory: Hayden fucking Christensen. He looks almost exactly the same as he did all those years ago; same height, same build, same everything. The man doesn’t age.

She finally was having her turn, and Tori moved to the side so she could just have one-on-one time with him, unlike the first time she met him. Even though she’s done this before, the feelings were all the same. She felt like she was going to die at any given moment.

When he saw her, he had the biggest smile on his face, unable to take his eyes off of her, just like before. “Hey, I know you. How are you?” he asks gently, his voice still that deep honey. He wrapped his arms around her in an embrace, and she happily returned it.

“I-I’m still in shock this is happening again,” she says with a nervous laugh, and he chuckled a bit as well.

“It’s good to see you again. Elaina, right?” he tries to confirm, taking his sweet time with her. He wanted to for their first photo op, but there had been a delay, so he couldn’t. What astounded her was that he not only remembered her, both face and name, but she also said her name right!

“Oh, yeah, that’s me,” she responds with a smile, shocked he remembered her after all these years.

“You were just a teenager when we first met, hm?” he says with a hint of a smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. “You were so polite, such a sweetheart. It was refreshing.”

It was one thing if an average person told you that; it was obviously flattering, but it was a hundred times more when it came from the sweetest man in the world.

She smiled a bit more, more blush coating her cheeks. “I forgot to say a few things, I was really anxious.”

“I can tell you’re the same right now,” he says, basically reading her like an open book. “Anyways, I have an idea for a pose, and I’ve just had a feeling the perfect person would come along to do it with, and I guess I was right.”

He moves behind her, putting his arms around her waist. He could tell she was aroused by this, hence the amount of blush once again increasing on her face, and it only made him love this even more.

“Can we do two, please?” he asks the camera person, who goes to speak in protest, probably going to say there was only one paid for, but he didn’t care. “Let’s do two.” he says again with a firmer tone, showing there’s no open room for discussion.

Usually Hayden was extremely professional, trying not to start anything with anyone, especially because he’s aware of how many people are in love with him; he’s gotten bras and panties thrown at him to prove it. However, this woman was just something else. He couldn’t help himself, there was this pull, this want to be with her. He’s never felt this way before for anyone. He just couldn’t resist it.

She was completely shook, her breath taken away. How was this happening?!

He put his head on her right shoulder, signaling he was ready for the picture, so she just smiled and hoped it wasn’t obvious how much she was fangirling right now. She felt like was going to faint.

The camera snapped for the first photo, his breath hot on her ear. He leaned in a bit more ever so slightly, whispering, “How about you kiss me on the cheek for this one?”

Her eyes widened a little, surprised at his words. She wanted to before, and was planning to do so this time, but she never thought he’d be this okay with it; it was like he read her mind.

Is Tori paying him to do this? she thought to herself. The last thing she wanted to do was make him uncomfortable, and would feel terrible if she did. However, he suggested it himself, and that made it even better.

“I mean… Y-Yeah, sure,” she stammers, and he smiles victoriously. She leaned her head back a bit, now fully against him. She could feel his very evident erection, blushing even more so and swallowing hard, but she didn’t comment; she knew it was natural for men to randomly get erections, but she had a gut feeling that it was no accident.

She then leaned towards his face, tenderly kissing him on the cheek as the camera shuttered and took the picture.

“Thank you,” she managed to get out, and his smile widened, reluctantly having to wrap up his time with her.

“No, thank you for being so open to trying that with me,” he contorts.

Everyone who witnessed the scene was absolutely in shock. Some girls who were waiting in line could only imagine that they were her. To be given such an honor by the Hayden Christensen… a girl could only dream.

He shook her hand firmly, then took his other and put it on the other side of hers, basically sandwiching her hand between his. He held her gaze with that charming smile and those dreamy blue eyes, his gazing into her brown.

He had to let go now, but he didn’t want to. He bids her farewell one last time before turning to encounter the next waiting fan.

Her and Tori were let out, Elaina’s face tomato red and her body shaking. “I TOLD YOU HE LIKES YOU!” Tori shouts, almost jumping up and down because she was so happy.

She then notices the paper in her hands. “What’s that? Did he give that to you?!”

Elaina shushes her quickly, surprised she didn’t do it before, trying not to cause a scene for both their sakes. “Let’s just go get the pictures,” she suggests, “then we’ll look at it in a more secluded spot.”

They nod in agreement, walking off to go get the photos.

About two hours or so later, the photos framed and secured in her bag, they’re both panting and sitting in a quiet corner of the convention, though nowhere in the building was necessarily “quiet.” They were finally able to look at what he had given her; not looking at it before was difficult for both of them, but they just wanted to look around the convention for a bit, and then look at it when there were hopefully less people. But now, they were even more anxious.

It was a small piece of paper, almost hurriedly folded. She gently unfolded it, revealing a square paper with some random numbers and some writing, and a note on the bigger piece that enveloped it.

Elaina, I’ve wanted to give this to you for a while, and I had a feeling I’d see you again, so I’ve kept it with me for each con I go to. Show this to a staff member and they’ll know what to do. See you soon, princess. XO, H.C.

Their eyes widen upon reading the note, and Elaina has to stop Desirae from screaming again, all the while trying to keep herself from actually passing out.

“C’mon, c’mon! Let’s go get your man!” Tori said eagerly, anxious to see the two interact again as she once again drags her to a nearby staff member.

They show it to them, and they nod, escorting them to Hayden’s autograph area. Tori notices quickly, and squeals quietly, clinging onto Elaina’s arm for dear life.

They’re taken behind the curtains and are now almost at the front of the line. There he is again, sitting at the table and signing away, making some small talk with the people who’d care to be there instead of people who were obviously resellers.

They’re at the opposite end, but they’re both over the roof. He was right there. Again!

“What picture do you want?” an employee asks, gesturing to a few laid out on the table.

She goes for an A.J. one, since they usually only have Anakin or Vader for sale. It was surprising to see other roles of his on display, but they only had one of each picture in stock; weird.

They then put the remaining pictures under the table, and she goes to grab her money, but they stop her. “It’s free, per Mr. Christensen’s request.”

Her brows furrow, and suddenly the “rare” pictures make sense: they don’t sell them at all, they were pictures chosen specifically for her liking, chosen to give her more options than the average fan. She wants to contort, to say something against it, but she doesn’t question it.

They then scooch to the side, picking out a color for him to sign with. She decides to go for blue since she got silver last time; it’ll pop on the picture, and it’s also the color of his eyes.

She finally makes it to him, Tori once again stepping back to watch, and he looks up at her. When he sees her again, he automatically looks happier.

“Guess you got my message,” he says with that big smile on his face, standing to his full height and coming around to give her yet another hug, something she thought wasn’t even allowed in the first place. “Missed you,” he mumbles into her ear, making her get more hot and bothered all over again, even with just being in his presence.

He lets go of her and goes back around the table, sitting back down and grabbing the blue marker. “How are you?” he asks as he writes on the photo.

“I-I’m good, better now…” she stammers after a second, still on cloud nine. “Yourself?”

“I’m doing good, thank you.” he replies as he continues to write.

Damn, what is he writing? she thought to herself, thinking his signature is something that could probably be done in just a few seconds based on how he was doing a minute ago.

He finishes signing, leaning in. “Got any bracelets or letters for me this time?” he asks with a smile, clearly referring to the last encounter they had.

“I do, actually,” she says, glad she brought some with her just in case, taking off four bracelets and laying them on the table: A.J., Clay, Sam, and Kurt ones.

His smile widens. “Just one more than the last time.” He then takes them, putting them on. “I’m still wearing the other ones, y’know.”

She looks at him, surprise etched all over her face. “Really?”

He chuckles, showing her his wrists, “I keep them right up front so I’m always reminded of you.”

And there they were: right in front of the ones she just gave him, the Leo and Skyguy ones on his right, and the matching one on his left. “You never told me what it meant. Such a nervous little thing,” he says in a slightly teasing tone, looking at the all white bracelet that matched hers.

She lets out a small, anxious chuckle. “I forgot to and hated myself for it afterwards. It’s actually an Anakin quote. Yours stands for ‘Not A Day Has Gone By When I Haven’t Thought of You,’” she starts, and he smiles, not taking his eyes off her for a moment, “and mine…”

She then puts her right hand on the table, showing him her matching all black one, “Mine says, ‘And Now That I’m With You Again, I’m In Agony.’”

He leans in even more, their faces now inches from each other. “I find mine to be true in every way.”

She blushes and swallows hard, “I guess we both didn’t take ours off.”

He smiles and nods,” I suppose so.”

“Also,” he says, readjusting in his seat, “I’m going on break in about half an hour. Care to join me?”

She was speechless. Spending time with him of all people, the Hayden Christensen?! She was definitely dreaming.

“Uhh… Sure, I mean it’s not like I’m gonna say no…” she says with a small smile, one in which he returns.

“Perfect,” he says, settling it. “Oh, and I thought you might enjoy having this…”

He takes off his hat, gently putting it on her head. She’s completely flustered now, aroused in every way of the word.

He leans back a bit, admiring her beauty and his hat on her head. “I like it on you,” he comments, taking her hand and shaking it once more before turning it and bringing it to his lips, kissing it.

Her face is completely tomato red, only making him enjoy this more. “Meet me behind the photo op area,” he tells her quietly before reluctantly letting her go, the line now moving again.

Once again, everyone was shocked at Hayden’s actions towards this lucky girl. They could certainly expect a relationship.

“Did that just happen?” she asked Tori shakily, her entire body on fire as they walked out.

“Oh, fuck yeah it did! I got it on film too!” she says, now actually jumping around like a maniac. “Shut up!” Elaina whisper-yells, smacking her on the arm. It was going to be a long day.

#hayden christensen #hayden christensen smut #soulmates fic #mrschristensen #hayden christensen x oc #my fic #fanfic

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redheadspark · 2 years

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Hiyya

I don't remember if i already sent this so if not could i request 'going to hold hands in a stressful situation' and “i’m here for you.” with Barry

Thanks

A/N: This is far too cute for Barry! Thanks for the request, anon!

Deep Breath

Summary: Being in Quarantine during a Pandemic was beyond stressful, even with your boyfriend to help with the nerves

Warnings: Talks about the 2020 COVID 19 Quarantine, so that might be a trigger for any readers!

Apart from that, just some fluff!

April, 2020

"Are you sure you're alright, mom?"

"Honey, we're fine! Your brother is already helping us out and getting our food for us while we're hunkering down. Everything okay out there in England?"

"Yeah...yeah it's fine,"

"Baby...you don't sound fine,"

No, you weren't fine.

You were in England when the entire world was shutting down due to COVID 19 running rapid everywhere. You were merely staying for a few months, about to head home come mid March to be with family for the summer when everything happened and halted at once. You were watching the news sometime before that, right after New Years and hearing about COVID 19. You thought, as well as the rest of the world, that it'll blow over and not be a big deal.

Let alone a Global Pandemic.

Planes were landed, everyone going into quarantine for weeks and weeks on end. It started with two, then it expanded with crazy news scares and people dying left and right from the virus. You could only watch day after day, seeing the number rise of those infected and those who passed away, fearing the worst since your home was in America and your family was stuck there.

You wanted to be home with them, with your mom and dad, just for the sake of knowing that they were okay and staying safe. They had a healthy lifestyle to begin with, but this virus held no prisoners from what you remembered reading on the news. So you had to resort to phone calls and FaceTime, which was not the same.

Currently you were talking to your mother on speaker, pacing back and forth like a caged animal as the news was on mute on the tv.

"Mom, I'll be fine. I just...I wanna be there with you and dad," You admitted on the phone, hearing the front door of the flat open. You looked, stopping your pacing near the living room couch to see who acme through and looked the door behind him.

"Is that Barry? Hello Barry!"

Barry threw off his mask and shrugged off his jacket, grinning from hearing your mom on the phone and was about to smile at you. Yet he saw your concerned face, biting her nails and holding the phone in your other hand as you two looked eyes. He sighed, giving you a soft smile as he walked over.

" 'Ello Ms. C! How are you holdin' up?" Barry asked aloud, sneaking a kiss in your hair as your mother sighed on the phone.

"We're just fine over here, Barry. I need you to convince my daughter that we're fine and perfectly safe," Your mother said on speaker, you huffing and glaring at the phone.

"I'm just worried about you," You reasoned, feeling like you were having some anxiety in your mom not understanding what you were feeling and wanting to express. Barry immediately took your hand in his, squeezing it tightly as you closed your eyes for a brief moment to calm yourself.

"I know you are, sweetheart. You don't have to worry with your dad and me, okay?" You mom said calmly to you, almost seeing through the phone that you were anxious, "Your brother is helping, and we are staying inside with no one visiting. It's gonna be alright, this will all be over before you know it, alright? You need to turn off the news for a bit and just relax,"

"Okay," you hummed, opening your eyes again and staring down at the phone as you sighed, "I'll let you guys go and call you later this week. Love you, mom,"

"Love you too, baby," Your mom said to you, "And Barry?"

"Yeah Ms. C?" Barry asked next to you.

"Keep and eye on my girl for me, please? Make sure she rests," Your mom said to him, Barry grinning as he wrapped an arm around you to pull you in a bit closer.

"You got it. Talk you soon!" Barry said to you, your mother then hanging up on her end. He took the phone from your hand and chucked it on the couch, wrapping you in his arms and you two simply holding each other in the flat. You breathed him in feeling his fingers along your backside and near your shoulders.

You and Barry were already used to living together for some periods of time, meeting on the set of Eternals when you were on the crew and Barry was one of the main actors in the film. You both hit it off so fast and quickly that it was hard to turn him down when he asked you on a date in the middle of shooting. He was the perfect gentleman, his co-stars making fun of him when he would grin from seeing you on set or helping the crew.

You both were serious in your relationship together, you needing to split your time between England and America since your family was still there. You got a few more jobs on other film and TV sets behind the scenes, one of which was in England and you were wrapping up when COVID hit.

Barry had you stay in his flat when you were working, he was working too with his own projects so the pair of you were mostly out throughout the day. Yet when you two were together at the flat, you made the most of it together. Now you were getting more time together because of Quarantine, you hearing horror stories of couple breaking up and marriage falling apart because of being together and confined together.

It was the opposite effect for you two though, and you were thankful.

"What can I do to help you feel better, luv?" Barry murmured in your hair as you clung onto him, "I know you wanna see them, but they're okay. I wanna help ya, tell me how,"

"Just be here with me?" You asked sheepishly, not wanting anything else but to have Barry with you. He nodded his head, moving with you still wrapping in his hold for you both to fall onto the couch. He hoisted your leg over his, your head nestled against his shoulder and his arm rubbing your back soothingly. Barry reached for the tv remote, turning it off finally and leaning back a bit to snuggle you close and have you feel that stress and tension release.

"I'm here for you," Barry reminded you, you saying nothing but watching out the window as some birds were flying by, "Your mum's right: this will be over soon and we can go back to our regular lives again, alright? I love you,"

You nodded your head, wrapping your arms around him a pinch tighter as you took in a big breath.

"I love you too," You replied, "Thank you for being there for me through all of this"

"Of course, luv," He hummed in return.

"Especially when I'm bitchy and mean at you," You commented, hearing him snort as you looked up at him.

"Now wait a second, I think it's hot when you're bitch at me," He coyly joked. You glared, poking his sides as he laughed and held you tighter, "Alright, alright! Let me order us some take out for dinner tonight and we can watch some trashy reality shows,"

"Oh, you woo me," You joked, Barry sticking out his tongue before he fished out his phone and started tapping away on the Door Dash app. You watched him with a smile, thinking you were rather lucky to have someone as kind and warm as Barry in your corner during a Pandemic. You still missed your parents, you still wished that you were there with them to you knew they were okay.

But Barry taking care of you made it better

The End.

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