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morbific-or-felicific · 1 year

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-ADRONITIS Featuring Childe

Meaning: Frustration with how long it takes to get to know someone—spending the first few weeks chatting in their psychological entryway, with each subsequent conversation like entering a different anteroom, each a little closer to the center of the house

Word Count: 2.3k~

Description: Childe is helping you train and decides to show off his foul legacy form only to decide to fuck you

Edited By: @pretty-princess-peach

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You were exhausted. You had been hiking to the top of what was probably a mountain, and somehow, you had the eleventh most powerful member of the Fatui walking alongside you. You still weren’t sure how you had been afforded the opportunity to speak with Childe, but my god were you glad you got to. For the past month or so, you had been spending the majority of your free time training with Childe.

Frankly, you had no idea how you had managed to swing that, but you were damn grateful that you had. It was all thanks to a seemingly innocuous comment you had made about hoping to one day be as strong as him the first time you two had spoken. You honestly still weren’t sure why he had decided to speak to you of all people. There would be no reason for him to have noticed you…right?

But unbeknownst to you, Childe had been watching you for quite some time before he had even decided to speak to you. You had caught his eye with your ability to best practically any recruit that you sparred against and the fact that any missions you were a part of were always successful. He was initially just fascinated by how someone who looked as weak as you did was able to beat all of the tall, muscly boys and girls of the Fatui. However, over time, he found himself getting excited to catch glimpses of you, whether you were sparring or not, so when he finally decided he wanted to speak to you and you mentioned wanting to become as strong as him, he jumped at the chance to offer you his penis guidance.

“Are we almost there?”

At the moment, Childe had decided to help you with your endurance training and took you to what he called a “small hill”, but realistically, it felt like a mountain.

Childe gave you a reassuring smile.

“Don’t worry, comrade. We’re almost at the top.”

You felt a little wave of relief flow through you.

Your hike continued with the two of you in comfortable silence until, finally, you reached the top of the ‘hill’. You flopped down onto the grass. You could see why he called it a hill, but by the sheer size of it, you thought that it could be considered a mountain. Childe stood by you as you caught your breath and recovered.

“Alright, are you ready to spar?”

Your stomach dropped. He wanted to spar? With you? You were going to die.

Childe chuckled at the apparent fear on your face.

“Oh, come on. It’ll be fun.”

You considered it for a moment. It would be interesting to fight him. It would probably help you improve too. You could also see how well you could stand up to his skill.

“…Okay.”

Childe grinned before offering you his hand and pulling you up. Childe pulled two practice swords out of god knows where and handed you one. You both got into a fighting stance.

“Are you ready?”

“I guess.”

“Don’t worry. I’ll go easy on you.”

He winked at you, and you lunged forward at him. He easily parried your attack, and you two began your dance.

You were surprised that you were actually managing to hold your own a good ways into the fight, and you thought you might last a while longer, until Childe decided to take it up a notch and start using his delusion. Fuck.

You had a vision yourself, so it wasn’t like the fight was imbalanced in that way, but adding a delusion? That was just unfair.

The fight continued, and while you had taken a few hits, you were still going. Childe was thoroughly enjoying himself, and while he was holding back his true strength, he was still curious to see how you would react if he unleashed his full power on you. He wanted to see you try and fight against his overwhelming power, when realistically, there was no way you could put up any meaningful fight. He also kind of just wanted to show off for you, but that’s not important.

“Why don’t I show you what I’m truly capable of, comrade!”

You were somehow convinced that you might actually have a chance of beating the harbinger before he had said that. Then, all of a sudden, he started rising from the ground in a spiral of water, and in a flash, he was covered in new armour, and he had grown much, much taller. You had heard rumours of this transformation before. It was called “foul legacy”, was it not? You had heard that it made him grow all the way to 9’6, and you would be lying if you said you hadn’t heard girls speculating on uh, what else grew.

Of course, facing him like this now, the most prominent thoughts in your head were “Oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck I’m so fucking dead.”

Childe let off a few attacks, and you were dodging them the best you could. Of course, you were too terrified to realize that he was purposefully attacking in predictable ways and leaving himself open for attacks, should you develop the bravery.

He loved this. The rush of fighting and the gratification of fighting someone that he knew he could crush in an instant. That isn’t to say you weren’t strong, of course, you had exceeded Childe’s expectations, but he was just so much stronger. He was starting to get a little worked up, watching the way your body was moving. All of the adrenaline and endorphins rushing through his body were making you look even better than usual. Besides, you definitely didn’t look bad in the little shorts and t-shirt you had worn for the hike.

Finally, after ten or so minutes of dodging various attacks of his, you decided to strike back at him. You swung your sword at his chest, but before it could meet its mark, your blade stopped mid air. You looked for what had stopped your swing, and you saw Childe’s massive, armoured, clawed hand holding your sword. Within the same moment, you felt him yank on your sword, causing you to slam into his body, your head barely reaching his stomach. He reached an arm down around your shoulders to keep you there. Childe felt his breath grow heavier as he pressed you against himself.

“You’ve fought admirably. I’ve enjoyed this fight. Why don’t I repay you?”

You hadn’t realized how his voice had changed, and it was making you feel a certain way… no, no you need to focus. You struggled fruitlessly in his grip.

“What do you mean?”

“What I mean is that I want to make you feel good, comrade.”

There’s no way he meant…no, not right now. It wasn’t possible.

“Come now, I’ll do all the work. Just let me fuck you.”

You turned bright red. Well, bright redder.

“Uh, I mean if you wanted to maybe do something tonight, we could uh… maybe do something, if you actually want to…”

“Not later. Now.”

“But…”

“Do you not want to?”

“No, I do…I definitely do… I just… it won’t work unless you change back first, right?”

“I’ll make it work.”

You could hear the smile in his voice. He loosened his grip on your shoulders, but before he could do anything else, you shot backwards instinctively. Childe immediately got back into a fighting stance. Well, it didn’t look like the fight was over yet. He attacked, and this time, you barely made it out unscathed. Now that he knew you wanted him as much as he wanted you, Childe was determined to get you in his arms and on his cock.

After another attack from Childe and a few failed parries, you somehow managed to trip over your own feet and fall backwards, hitting the ground hard and knocking the wind out of yourself. Childe chucked at your misstep and took the opportunity to pick you up, pull off your shorts and underwear and hold you up against his chest with one of his arms, making you wrap your legs around him. Childe pulled off one of his gloves before tossing it to the ground and pushing two of his big fingers into your mouth. You were already so worked up just from how much bigger than you Childe was, and feeling his big fingers in your mouth only added to that. He pushed his fingers in and out of your mouth until he decided he was ready to reach down and push them inside of you. His fingers felt so big. You were terrified of how big his cock was going to be. He kept fucking you, eventually adding another two fingers, doing his best to prep you. Finally, when he thought you were ready enough, he undid his belt, letting it drop to the grass before undoing his pants and pulling out his cock. You could feel his cock hit against your back, and a wave of fear flowed through you, but you were far too committed to whatever was going to happen next to back out now.You blushed, looking up at him, and then you realized that he still had his mask on. Wanting to see his face, you reached up to try to move it. Your attempt was fruitless. Childe laughed before pulling off his mask for you.

He lifted you up, hands firmly on your waist, and that’s when you saw his cock. Your eyes popped out of your head. It looked like it was almost as big as your arm. There was no way that was going to fit in you. Childe lined himself up with you so he could start bringing you down onto his monstrous cock. Childe pulling you down mixed with simple gravity let him push into you without much resistance from you writhing around. You yelped at the pain. It felt like he was going to rip you in two if he went in any farther, but of course, that didn’t stop him. Childe was slowly pushing inside of you as you whined about how it was too big and how you couldn’t take it, tears streaming down your face. But Childe just shushed you and stroked his thumb along your hip, telling you that you can handle it.

Eventually, you were as full as you could get, despite Childe attempting to fit more of himself inside of you. After all, you only had more than half of him buried in you.

As much as it hurt to have something so big inside of you, you had never felt so full in your life. It just felt so good.

Childe waited until you had adjusted the best you could to the size of his cock before he started bouncing you on it, doing his best to not push too far with each thrust. Your mind was blank. The only thing you could think about was how fucking good it felt to have this massive man fucking you like you were a toy.

You could hear Childe moaning at how good you felt around him, and it was music to your ears. His voice was so deep now that it gave you butterflies whenever he spoke.

“How does it feel, comrade? Do you feel good? Am I making you feel good?”

You couldn’t formulate a response. You just let out a moan and a little squeak when he brought you down too hard.

“Have you gone dumb on my cock already? That’s too bad. I thought you would be able to endure it better, but I suppose this is really what you’re good at hmm? Being a toy for me?”

You weren’t paying any attention to whatever he was saying because you were so close to cumming around Childe’s massive cock. Fuck, it just feels so good.

With a little shout, you came and were seeing stars. Feeling you spasm around his cock was all Childe needed to cum along with you. He filled you up with his cum, and it was dripping out of you, even with his cock still inside of you. You were out of breath and were waiting for Childe to lift you off of his cock when you realized something. Was he still hard? You looked up at him, eyes wide.

“I’m not done yet. I have to see how much I can really fill you up.”

And with that, he was fucking you again, just as hard and just as fast. He was gripping your sides so tightly that you were convinced that his still-gloved hand had managed to draw blood, but you didn’t care enough to stop him and make him take it off.

Before too long, you were cumming around him once again. Your vision flashed white, and everything blurred together for a moment as the euphoria rushed through your body. Childe smiled as he kept bouncing you on his cock, not giving you a moment to rest.

It went on like that for almost another hour. You were barely conscious when Childe finally lifted you off of his cock and set you down on the grass. He transformed back to normal before watching for a moment as his cum flowed out of you onto the grass. He knelt next to you and pressed on your lower stomach, making even more cum run out of you. After a minute or two, he wiped the cum and little bit of blood off of you and slipped your shorts back onto your limp body. He lifted you up in his arms and gave you a little kiss on your lips before starting the hike back to his home at the Fatui compound.

As far as he was concerned, now you were his, and he was going to treat you as well as he possibly could.

Tag List: @lilia-sspouse @but-a-peach @stannazuna @yourlocal-bunny @lordbugs @randomlycockroach @licensedsimp @leena-shi @cesimaaa @welpthisisfine @dainself-when-playable @fic-rebloga @bubblyxdolly @wanderin-stories @iwysbellez

morbific-or-felicific.

#mae.melts🧊*•̊ⴰ✧#childe.❣︎•*✧ ̊ⴰ #mae’s daily paper☕️*•̊ⴰ✧#this killed my editor so i hope you guys like ittttt #and i know that foul legacy takes it the fuck out of him but this is just for the fun goofy sex times #childe x reader #foul legacy x reader #childe smut #foul legacy smut #genshin smut #genshin x you #genshin x reader #gn reader

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lightlycareless · 4 months

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Valentine's day '24 special — pt. 2

sequel to this.

Heya everyone!!! Sorry for the delay, you will not believe what happened to me 💀 I was intending to upload this much earlier, but by some strange reason my neighborhood just didn't have electricity anymore—for hours. BUT It's finally back, and with it, the second part of my valentine's day special :>

I won't say much, except that the whole plot turned to be quite different than what I envisioned; will I say I didn't like it? No, I feel like it was according to the character's personality and such, very... teenage awkwardness 😂🤭

Anyways, I won't say much anymore, outside of the warnings: highschool au. no major ones. angst. a jealous/possessive naoya.

Without further a do, happy reading, and happy valentine's day!

taglist: @sureconfused

You weren’t the only one excited for this day, by far, albeit for other… reasons.

Made into a well-kept secret, Naoya, heir of the Zen’in, was impatiently waiting for the day he’d effectively label himself as the best catch there ever was—

And win your affection.

Although he’ll have to admit that achieving this feat wasn’t all too easy as he once expected, less with the unwanted advancements valentine’s day brought upon.

Was it a matter of not getting chocolates? Even with his reputation, he still managed to bag a few. Naoya was handsome and rich after all, things that didn’t necessarily need to intertwine with a good personality in order for someone to like him. One has to be blind for that!

The problem here was that none of the gifts he got that day belonged to you, and that put him in a very, very bad mood.

More so when learning that Geto was the one stealing his rightful spot.

“How come he got chocolates from her, and not me?!” Naoya would cry to his best friend, Ranta, as soon as classes were over. The poor kid, although miles away and safeguarded by the other side of the line, still recoiled in surprise by his tone. “What, suddenly I’m not good enough for Y/N?!”

“I wouldn’t say that necessarily, Naoya.” Ranta attempts to comfort him, whatever he can through his friend’s frantic state anyways. “From what you told me, Geto is really popular, right?”

“I’m popular too.” Naoya quickly responds.

«But not for the right reasons» Ranta holds his tongue from saying, instead, he sighs.

“Just take it as what it was—a popular guy getting chocolates; that’s all. He must’ve gotten a thousand, he probably didn’t even notice.”

Damned if he does, damned if he doesn’t. Naoya is quickly irritated by the notion of your efforts being disregarded.

“I would’ve noticed!”

“Then do it.” Ranta says, Naoya frowns, confused. “White day is next month; it’ll be the perfect moment to let her know of your feelings!”

“What?—no. She has to come to me.” He corrected, Ranta does his best to not groan out of exasperation.

“Naoya, have you even spoken to her, outside of jujutsu stuff?”

Nope. Not at all. And yet, Naoya already envisioned you’d be the one he’d marry.

“Then start by something simple.” Ranta continues. “A letter telling her your feelings and how you’d like to know her better can go a long way.”

“But I don’t—men aren’t supposed to do that.”

“Well, what you won’t, maybe Geto will.”

“…I dare you to say that in front of my face.”

Ranta knows he’ll live to regret it later, but honestly, it was the only way he could get Naoya to actually do something about this growing infatuation he’d long determined to be more than a mere attraction.

He’s never seen his friend so… whipped for anyone before, ever, to the point of spending most, if not all, of their conversations talking about her.

There was even a moment where Ranta felt like he was unwittingly third wheeling, and they weren’t even dating yet!

But putting that aside, this could be a positive influence on Naoya’s life too. Perhaps you could soften his edges or make him a better person! —The way his mood improves whenever you’re in his mind is something he could get used to.

Except this time, of course, but that’s within reason (even for Ranta, Naoya’s jealousy still adds up.)

So, after the right motivation (or more like threat), Naoya begins to write down the perfect letter to demonstrate his feelings and intentions with you.

Or tries to.

Naoya has never considered himself particularly the best when it came to showing vulnerability, even though he’s taken countless classical literature courses many would’ve assumed amounted to something—

But like a true man in love, the things he once impossible were nothing but small hindrances along the way.

And soon, here he is, letter in hand as he heads over to the small booth Mei Mei set up for her stupid Cupid Mail thing she set up or whatever she called it—coincidentally, the perfect way to deliver his missive.

Because obviously, beneath his exuberant overconfidence, Naoya is actually very, very shy when it comes to approaching you.

“Off to confess your feelings for darling Y/N?” Mei Mei asks with a sly smirk that passes undetected to him, ass well as her words, once arriving.

“Yes, I ought to before anyone—wait, where did you even get that—”

“I have my ways.” She interrupts. But to anyone with eyes, it was nothing less than obvious. “Anyways, you know my price when it comes to keeping secrets.”

It’s not the first time he’s used her services, and it seems it wouldn’t be the last either.

“Whatever—just—send this letter for me. To Y/N.”

“Hmm… it’ll be ¥1500 please.”

“To send a letter?!” he cries. “What are you going to do, have it signed by the emperor??”

“No, but for people that already have lots of letters piled up, I tend to charge an extra fee—and an additional one if you want it to be first in line.”

“…what?” Naoya breathes.

“What? Thought you were the only one that liked her?” she snickers.

“What do you mean she has piled up letters?” Naoya asks, and having to repeat her words made his heart sink further into his stomach. “From who?!”

“That’s confidential, Zen’in-san.” Mei Mei discloses. “I can’t risk the identity of my clients—”

“How much do you want?” He counters; not buying her sudden righteousness, not even for a second.

“¥100,000”

“Fine, just—”

“Per letter.”

Naoya’s eye twitches at the outrageous bank statement he’d later have to defend before his family.

But even then, he feels no regret when it comes to knowing who could be having the upper hand against him and seize it.

“Here—take whatever you want but let me see who’s sending her letters.”

Mei Mei grins once Naoya sends her a money transfer equivalent to the 15 people that had written out their feelings for you (allegedly), happily obliging when handing over the missives for his open scrutiny, alongside some silly gifts that made him wonder if he also should’ve gotten you something more than just a paper.

However, that thought doesn’t last longer than a few seconds when his eyes fall on the names of the senders. The familiarity of one catching his attention to the fullest, blood running cold upon acknowledging the depth of your relationship with him, and what this could mean for his own advances.

Nanami.

Your proclaimed best friend…

Had sent you a letter, because more likely, he liked you.

…

Naoya didn’t bother to ask Ranta for advice for he already knew what to do. Or at least what his heart was pushing him to commit.

“She’s quite the popular one, isn’t she? Must be because of her siblings—”

“How much to not send anything to her?”

“Oh.” Mei Mei’s eyes glinted with greed and surprise. Although her interest mostly dwelled on the first. “Don’t tell me the great Naoya Zen’in is feeling threatened.”

Or more like afflicted.

“Just tell me how much. And so no one else can send her anything either.”

She smiles—Mei Mei couldn’t believe it was that easy to hit jackpot, but she won’t complain.

“A million.”

“Done.”

“Are you still sending the letter?” she still asks, shamelessly, as if she hadn’t just secured her living for the foreseeable future.

“Yes.”

Although not by itself anymore.

Understanding the sensibility in which he’d greatly miscalculated the intervention of others, Naoya rushes to make himself stand out by all means possible, as well as show just how strong his determination was to be with you.

Thus, the plushies he heard were of your liking, your favorites, or simply reminded him of you, soon began to make their way to him, settling the first foundations of the boxes he was to send you.

Alongside the sweets he’s seen you bring along for lunch, either through the nearest vending machine or gifted from your siblings and friends—didn’t matter how, just that you loved them.

To add a twist, jewelry was also included. Ones he thought would look great on you, both representing a piece of his immeasurable wealth, and his undying affection for you.

And lastly, but not least, roses. Flowers that were prided on for their beauty and significance, the perfect way to profess one’s feelings and cement them as real—he found no personal use behind them, not when he thought you much more alluring, but if necessary…

Amongst the other gifts Mei Mei managed to sneak in, like a true visionaire, for her financial gain.

Down to the smallest detail, everything was intricately planned for White Day to unfold: yes, even their tardy arrival.

The reason why Naoya chose the end of the day to deliver his countless gifts was simply because he thought he’d make a greater impression this way, give you something to think about after a long day of boring work and once back in your room.

To keep your mind completely on him, wondering who was attentive enough to bless you with all these gestures…

And of course, making you smile, cheeks flustered and face beaming in the same beautiful way that always mesmerized him—just like now.

“I… I can’t believe it.” You’d whisper to yourself while overlooking your gifts one more time; gaze lost in the ocean of sweets, flowers, and jewelry alike. There were just too many, you simply didn’t know where to start!

Or how to take them with you.

“I, uh… I think I’m going to need help to move them to my dorm” you say, eyes circling back to Mei Mei. “Do you think you can—oh.”

But she was already gone, possibly to complete more of her money-hungry schemes, such as convincing Satoru to spend more money on Suguru, or scam an innocent, unsuspecting student to confess their feelings to their crush, whom she knows has no chance with, via her postal service, or not. Mei Mei was always a mystery.

What was not a mystery, was the unwitting companionship she left you behind with, an astonished crowd slowly surrounding you the moment the first gift graced your hands, all in a similar state of disbelief, if not jealousy—

Alongside a fascinated admirer.

“Oh, how am I going to move all this—”

“Let me help you.” Keeping a close eye at a distance, Naoya sees this opportunity as his moment, and steps in.

“Naoya!” You gasp, startled by his unexpected appearance, a rare occurrence unless it involved sorcery manners, or Satoru. “I didn’t see you get here, where did you come from?”

“My class just finished, and I was heading back to the dorms.” He explains—a blatant lie, considering the teacher didn’t show up because of a date, or so many theorized. “What’s with all the gifts?”

“I know, right? Can you believe they’re all for me??” you bubbled—grabbing on the compliment bait he��d thrown. “But they don’t come with a sender.”

“Really? How weird…” Naoya plays along, wanting to hear more of your enthusiastic praises. “You don’t think it’s from a creep or something, right?”

“I don’t to think so... I don’t want to think it was.” You say, twisting your lips in concern. Naoya then quietly scolds himself for foolishly planting the seed of doubt in your mind. “Anyways, I thought it was sweet.”

As if he couldn’t fall more in love with you. Naoya smiles.

“I’m glad you did.”

For the slightest of seconds, you press your brows together, finding his words to be a bit odd, if not contradictory, to his previous statement—almost as if he were somewhat involved.

“Thanks…?”

“So…” Naoya says, walking over to one of the many baskets and picking them up. “What do you think of this?”

Even when finding his sudden interest odd, since he never struck you as the kind of person to care about these “silly” (his words) situations, you agree to indulge him only because he’s helping you.

And because this is so in-your-face, you really couldn’t blame him for being curious.

“About the gifts?” You ask.

Guess the weird part of it is that he’s insisting so much. Wasn’t your previous answer enough?

“Yeah.”

“Well, I told you; it was sweet.” You repeat, leading him towards your dorm. “And even though the mystery surrounding the sender adds a layer of romanticism to these gifts, I really want to know who did it.”

“For what?” Naoya pushes forward—all because in his mind, he thinks you’ve now unknowingly fallen for him too, and wants to confirm it.

“Oh, uh—I’m just curious! I mean, I’m human, you know?” you explain with a chuckle. “Don’t you feel the same way when this happens?”

Then, something in your mind clicked.

“No—Naoya, don’t tell me you didn’t get anything?!” you gasp.

«From the one I want, no.» he wishes to say, but it felt redundant to do so.

“I didn’t ask that.” Naoya responds instead, words that sting you, although not so much anymore, since you’ve long accepted that he can be quite… crude when he doesn’t want to talk about something.

“…Sorry.” You murmur, moving forward. Something so nice shouldn’t be ruined by his inability to socialize like a normal human being. “But… yeah, I guess I’m just curious. I mean, I’ve never gotten so many things like this before, it almost feels like I’m undeserving!”

“You’re not.”

You frown once again—why is he acting so weird, today, of all days?

“Well, at least I won’t have to buy sweets for a long time now.” You say with a smile, already savoring the delicacies before you. “Although the mochi are not making it past today! How did they even know taro was my favorite?”

And there was still one last thing for you to see—his letter.

Naoya was planning on giving it to you once arriving at your dorm, but your excitement, alongside your beautiful beaming smile, and your glistening eyes, pushed him to act now.

“Y/N.” Naoya says, a stern tone that makes you stop and turn around.

“Hm?”

“…What would you do if I… told you I knew who sent all these gifts?”

“You do?” you breathe. His heart clenches with longing.

“Hypothetically.” Naoya says. Even if he’s absolutely confident he wants to do this, there’s still a part of him, although very small, that fills him with hesitance. He can’t be judged for wanting to be cautious, right?

“Oh, well, if that’s the case… I’d like to thank him first.” You respond. “Although a bit exaggerated, it was still the nicest gesture I’ve gotten in a while. And it definitely made my day! I was just about to head to my room to whine about not getting anything, haha! Anyways… what I mean to say is, I’d like to thank them and… maybe even get to know them bett—”

“Me.” Naoya says without further precedent, you blink.

“What?”

“Me. It was me. I sent the gifts.” He reiterated, through the sudden knot forming in his throat and the rising heat of his cheeks. “I’m the one you want to thank. The one that sent everything: from the box in your hands, to the rest of the things in your dorm.”

Naoya was wholeheartedly expecting you to glee and cheer now that the revelation was, open the door for the relationship he envisioned would begin from this day forward…

And not your following reaction.

“That’s—that’s a good one, Naoya!” You laugh nervously. “You almost got me there!”

If he didn’t know any better, it would seem you were attempting to hide disappointment. And your once dreamy laughter became his absolute nightmare.

“I’m not joking.” Naoya justifies, growing defensive of what little dignity he had left.

“Oh…” murmur, chuckle slowly subsiding while opening way to your true emotions, filling you with tension at the one outcome he never considered palpable.

“Were you expecting someone else?” He dares to ask, with an accusatory tone that lets you know you’ve stung a nerve.

And as much as honesty seemed to be the most intimidating path to take, it was still the right one.

“I—I mean… yeah.” You anxiously admit, his frown deepens.

“So, what? Even with my gifts, I’m still not good enough for you?”

“What? No! That’s not it, Naoya!” Your voice trembles—regretful for the misinterpretation of your words; but truth to be told, there was no amount of assertiveness that could’ve mended Naoya’s slowly breaking heart.

“Then what is it?” influenced by a thousand reasons, he goes with the most hurtful one. “It’s someone else, isn’t it? Was it Nanami?”

“What does he have to do with anything?” you cautioned.

“Nothing.” He rushes to cover, thankfully for him, you seem to drop the subject all together. “Why does it seem so shocking I got you these things? Weren’t you say how much liked them a few minutes ago? Or how much you wanted to thank the person behind them?”

“I didn’t—I mean… I’m still grateful for the gifts, but… I have to be honest.” You thread carefully, heart on your throat. “I don’t… know you. And you don’t know me, either.”

“What do you mean you don’t know me? We’ve worked together before, hadn’t we?”

“Naoya… We barely talk to each other outside of class, and—and… forgive me if I don’t believe your interest in me, but what am I supposed to think after the way you act whenever I’m around?”

“What way??”

While the rest of the world seemed to be nothing but acknowledging of Naoya’s infatuation with you, if not irritated by your obliviousness—

All this time, you were seeing the other side of the coin.

Starting from the silent way he’d stare at you, a piercing gaze that made you feel miniscule, scrutinized, urging you to leave his sight as soon as possible.

Followed by the irritation in his face whenever you’d interact with someone else, as if wondering where you’d get the audacity to interact with his fellow classmates, or anyone at all.

Adding the way he’d swiftly avoid you when accidentally bumping into you—uttering a quick watch out before leaving you to your own devices, careless to bother checking if you were hurt, or not.

And now, the defensiveness in which he took your skepticism.

Was it surprising that you didn’t believe his intentions? From your point of view, it was only obvious.

But to him, it was the highest of distresses.

Guess explaining his behavior towards you up to that point would amount to nothing.

Why would he bother wasting his breath affirming to you that the only reason why he did all those things was because he was afraid of approaching you? Ignorant on how to make you like him? Or because he was jealous of others?

…when he’s already ruined everything, anyways?

“I thank you for all the beautiful things you got me, Naoya, but… I think they’re better off with someone you do like.” You say, looking down at the box, before moving it closer to him. “Besides, we both know I’m not your type.”

“Not my type? What’s that supposed to mean?”

From the rumors surrounding him, to his behavior, it was the only conclusion you could get at.

But more precisely, the continuously proved reputation he’s got of dating girls only to dump them a few days later.

While he might be exceptional when it comes to giving gifts, you were looking for something a bit more… long term, permanent, in the emotional department.

And to you, Naoya was just not that kind of person.

The silence between the two gave you enough time to define your next step.

“I can give you the things back if you want—”

“No, keep them, I got them with you in mind anyways, what good will it do to give them to someone else?” He frowns, his heart effectively shattered at this point. “Or throw them away, I don’t care.”

That would be the last time you’d see Naoya that week, who’d still helped you move all of the gifts towards your dorm and placing them just outside the door before retreating to what you supposed to be the city—no doubt in your mind that he already had other plans for the day, just staying around to see if he could try his luck with you, before going to plan B.

After all, a man like him surely couldn’t settle for just one person, a date being nothing but a box to check in his routine.

And you were surprisingly accurate—

If you were referring to the Naoya who hadn’t met you yet.

Because since you arrived in his life, you’re all he thinks of. All he could bother to care for, day and night, he only longed to be with you.

But after today, he’s not sure if this is even something he wishes to continue doing. If there’s even hope for someone like him, who’s ruined all his chances—a purpose to fight for.

A friendship with you is the last thing he could expect to happen now, especially after the gruesome conclusion you granted him. Perhaps there was never even a reason to start off from, only his delusions longing for something better.

Yet, unbeknownst to him, this was only the beginning.

Ok so I do feel a bit guilty for going down the angsty path BUT hear me out, it makes sense!!! naoya is the kind of person to make up this whole life with you and he hasn't even spoken with you lol.

outside of that, the beauty of oneshots is that I can literally write 10000 versions of this same scenario 😏 I already have another one in mind, but I'll postpone it to after the other requests I have on my ask.

Either way, I still hope you enjoyed this piece :> Happy valentines day!!

Take care, and hope to see you around ❤️

#naoya zenin #naoya zen'in #naoya x reader #naoya zenin x reader #naoya zenin x you #jjk naoya #naoya zen'in x reader #jjk x reader #jjk fluff #jjk x you #prompt series: jujutsu kaisen

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beartitled · 6 months

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Bear i genuinely need to know if you are on 15 coffees. How did you do that so detailed and nice????? How did you nake it so cool???? How do you have the talent and motivation???? How long did you draw to achieve this godly skill???

💕💞❤️💖💕Awwwww thank you 💕❤️💖💕💞❤️

Fun fact I actually don’t drink coffee (😨*shocked audience sounds*😨) or at least drink it very rarely, I dunno it just makes me more sleepy? for some reason? which is hilarious in this context

Hehe man I need to concentrate, but I can’t stop smiling

I’m very happy that people actually liked my picture book, it legit sends me away because it’s a personal project which took a ton of effort

Like fan arts, megadrawings, fan comics those are also mean a lot and made with love, but this project feels like showing a part of your soul

And when you see people actually enjoying it- just- ❤️💕💖💞💕❤️*ecstatic bear noises*💕❤️💖💕💞💕 *happy tiny jumps*💖💕❤️💕💖💞💖

(oki lemme put all my thoughts under read more, bc I didn’t expect to write that much 💥)

Answering the questions

I just love detailed stuff✨ Plus when you work on something for a long time, you can kinda think of something or subconsciously add even more visual details

Motivation comes from just a wish to finish something most of the time

When I work on big projects (that take months for example) I tend to go into 💪grind💪 state, where you just dedicate your entire time to making something

It a very interesting thing, because your life literally becomes this project for a few months, you wake up with a goal and make your day as productive as possible (after I finish something I can have a mini crisis, like wait this thing is over, wait I can do something different.. no I NEED A PURPOSE 💥💥💥 *aggressively starts yet another comic*)

Also I feel like uni played a major role in my productivity rate, bc you can have multiple projects in one semester and plus to that an assignment that just adds on every week

Imagine like inktober, but you decided to take 5 more prompt lists and every drawing you make is criticised by professor (so you need to make edits or redo your entire work)

This type of constant pressure just kinda makes you a different person in a way, at least it was my experience with it

And how much time (hehe don’t make me blush it’s not godly 👉👈), well entire life basically + almost 4 years of uni

Also wanted to say for people who are starting or just feel overwhelmed by other artists skills:

🫵Everyone starts with crappy pony drawings 🫵 (at least I did) (man if I ever find my first drawings I will show them)

The funniest thing is, I started drawing not because I wanted it to be good or to impress people

I just wanted a pony picture 💥 in a funky dress 💥💥 and my mum said “I’m tired of drawing horses for you, go do it yourself” 💥💥💥 and I did 💥‼️💥‼️💥💥

A lot of people chuckled at me bc the drawings were crappy, but I didn’t care 💥📣🗣️I’m the one holding a paper horse in a dress, not you 💥📣🗣️

So like, don’t sweat it, no art is bad – you put effort, you made it, it’s already worth attention and love

The idea of “good” is flawed and very vague anyway

The feeling of doubt is also normal, everyone has it time to time, without it we wouldn’t be able to improve

Just don’t let those thoughts consume you: appreciate your work and yourself 🫵❤️

Anyway thank you for this ask, it’s very sweet of you ❤️

Makes me incredibly happy that someone likes my stuff 🥺❤️💕💖🥺❤️💞

#bear answers #sorry for a whole essay in ask 💥💥#art mentioned brain go caboom 💥🧠#art talk #art thoughts

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bangtaninborderland · 1 year

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JHS- Twisted Feelings (5)

Summary: After working at an award show for 2 years everything had become normal, idols were no longer exciting to see, performances became dull and every day blended together, that was until an unexpected man asked for your help.

Genre: idol!jhope × fem!reader, angst, fluff, strangers to lovers, ongoing series

Warning: none for this chapter!

A/N: I have another chapter nearly done, im going to miss hobi sm. I hope you’re all still ready to enjoy this story. Also, fun fact - I got accepted to 4 universities :)

Ch.04 < Series Masterlist > Ch.06

You shuffled around one another for a few minuets, your earlier excitement bubbling down to a mere nervousness as you watch him take a seat him not quite opposite but not quite beside you.

You glance over him quickly, you weren’t up to date on all the luxury brands but you could tell his shoes alone probably cost your entire rent for a month.

“Is everything okay?” When he laughs it’s light, soft as though not to startle you from wherever he believed your thoughts had escaped too.

You wave your hand dismissively. “I’m fine, where do you want to start?”

“Wherever you think, you’re the teacher after all.”

Oh yeah, I’m the teacher.

“How about we try to have a simple conversation with the English you know? That was I could grasp what stage you’re at and where we need to focus to help you improve.” You suggest, leaning against the backrest of your chair.

He nods enthusiastically, you weren’t sure wether it was done to help quell your own worries, that you were sure you’d put on display within the past few minuets, or because unlike the majority of the population he was genuinely excited to learn.

Either way you were grateful.

Being bilingual you had always been asked what it was like to switch between languages, people never understood it was something that could just happen. You’d definitely made mistakes before, integrating Korean and English into a conversation without meaning too.

Switching to English was easy. “Can you introduce yourself?”

He took a breath clearing his throat. “I am jhope of BTS.”

“Can you tell me your favourite colour?”

“Colour?” You nod and he Humms. “I like green.”

“Great, now ask me something.”

He thinks for a moment before responding, stumbling a few times before successfully asking. “What is your favourite food?”

“Samgyeopsal, what do you like about being an artist?” You decide to make the question a little different, something more difficult.

“I like connecting with our army, producing too. I like my art and to dance.” He finished with a smile and for a moment it felt as if you were almost one of those ghastly English interviewers.

You make a few notes on the words he takes longer to respond with before continuing an array of questions for the next hour, most of which are simple enough for him to understand and respond too even if it takes him a second to think or act the word out, something you were sure he had done to help you understand more. He had a basic grasp on English and that was an amazing place to start, much easier than it would have been had he have known nothing.

You make a small list of things he had told you he finds useful in terms of studying, flash cards and bright colours being two of them.

It made you laugh just how similar your study patterns were, he was someone who likes organisation, a different colour for a different thing. You were the same.

You agreed to end the lesson, having all the information you needed for the day to construct a much better plan for the future.

He fiddles with his hands as you clean the room, his voice almost insecure when he asks. “So how did I do?”

You turned on your heel to face him, sending him a reassuring smile before telling him he had done well.

He waited at the door for you, holding it open.

Such a gentleman.

Due to the company being mid move renovations weren’t complete, tools had been left around in various locations so you had been keeping an eye out, you’d done so well throughout the day to not create any issues.

Until now at least.

By the time you noticed you had knocked the open pot of paint over it was already too late, the grey staining the expensive material on Hoseoks shoes.

Shoes you couldn’t even afford.

You scrambled around to grab a packet of wipes that had been left beside the door frame, pulling out more than necessary before you drop to your knees in a rush to try and salvage the footwear “Fuck I am so sorry, god I didn’t see.” Your hands are already scrubbing and scooping as much paint as possible, you weren’t sure if it was helping at all but you couldn’t give up. “Who leaves a pot of paint in the open, actually who leaves an open pot in the open. I’m so sorry, I-“ you pause for a second, humility befalling you as your head drops to face the floor, your hands resting in your lap, paint soaked clothes still clutched between them. “I can’t afford to replace these, I could pay you back out of my pay check every month until you have enough for a new pair. I’m so sorry.” You bargained with a pay check you weren’t even sure you’d still be receiving after this mess.

You felt your heart die inside of you when he began to speak. “They were expensive shoes, that’s all. Nothing worth stressing over. Besides I got them for free when we were at a photo shoot. Don’t worry about it. Besides you didn’t put the paint there, you aren’t responsible.”

Oh.

“I really can pay you from my pay check, I should have been more careful. It’s principle.” You look up, an action you regret instantly when you realise the compromising position you’re in.

You on your knees, in front of him, your face almost equal with his crotch. Great.

He extends a hand to you which you take, using him to pull yourself up.

“Let me take these.” He slips the soaked clothes from your hands before walking across the hall, throwing them in the trash.

You don’t know what else to do, wrecked with humiliation and guilt you give him a small bow whispering a meek. “Thank you.”

“Don’t be so formal with me, I said it’s okay. You, however, are not. Your shirt is covered I should have a spare one in my studio if you’d like it?” He offers, pointing down the hall at one of the doors decorated in bright colours.

You nod, you hadn’t even noticed the state you were in. “If it’s not too much of a bother that would be great, I can wash it and return it then next time I come.”

“That’s fine don’t rush.” He guides you down the hall, meeting in the code to his studio before stepping aside and letting you in.

You were unsure how but this room seemed to captivate the very being you had understood Hoseok to be in the limited time you had with him.

You looked around careful not to touch anything, if the shoes weren’t meaningful you were sure the kaws bears definitely were.

“Here.” He shouts, throwing the shirt in your direction.

You grab it before it can fall, it’s orange, bright orange. “You like bright colours?

“Is that even a question?” He retorts playfully, signalling a hand around his studio.

You laugh. “I guess not, thank you again and I’m really sorry.”

“Don’t be, I’d let you ruin my shoes every day as long as you keep teaching me English. It really helped.” He says with a deepened sincerity.

It was nice to know you’d done something right, you still couldn’t beat the guilt and humiliation though. “I should probably get going, our class was supposed to finish thirty minuets ago. I’d hate to make you late for something.”

“You wouldn’t be a bother, I could show you the rest of the building if you’d like?” He offers.

You nod in agreement, it’s not like you had anything else to do. “Sure, that would be nice.”

“Let me just change my shoes and then I’ll show you where you can change your shirt.” He explains, heading towards a small shelving unit in the corner.

You shuffle awkwardly for a few seconds, with nothing to do it’s easy for your gaze to linger on him as he moves around. He slips his shoes off shoving them in a plastic bad before replacing them with some slippers.

He jumps up, landing softly on his feet. “All done, let’s go.”

You laugh, mumbling a thanks as he holds the door open for you. He guides you to the restrooms, where you promptly switch your shirt for his. You’re thankful there’s no cameras so the image of you smelling his shirt will never resurface, besides so what if you sniffed it, it smelt nice.

You didn’t rush per se but you did move quicker than you would have had Hoseok not been waiting.

It was rude to make others wait, nothing else.

You throw your ruined shirt in the trash before washing your hands, you didn’t look too bad considering you tossed and turned for half of the night.

You were greeted with a warm smile as you opened the door.. “Is Samgyeopsal really your favourite food?”

“Yes it is, my eomma makes it all the time.” You follow behind him a few steps, not wanting to get lost.

He holds a door open to you, leading to a staircase. “My eomma cooks a lot too, she always tells me to bring the members so they can put on weight.”

“Thank you, do you get to go home a lot?” You ask.

There’s a sullen look across his eyes as he shakes his head. “No, I try to but work is busy.”

“Forgive me if this is too forward, don’t answer it if it bothers you but what is it actually like to be an idol?”

He leads you upstairs, once again allowing you to go first. “It has its ups and downs, I enjoy it for the most part but when fans become too intrusive it can become hurtful. It makes it harder to have moments where it’s safe for me to see my family. That’s the downfall. Stress comes with every job, so does exhaustion not to mention overtime.”

“Tell me about it.” You scoff, remembering all the nights you’d been held back due to some internal issue.

He laughs, opening another door for you. “Bad experience?”

You cross through it quickly, this hall much different to the last. “My last job wasn’t great, a lot of things and people depended on me.”

“I hope it’s better here, I’ll try to be a good student. Scouts honour.” He holds up three fingers, a very American thing to do.

“You weren’t a scout.” You laugh.

He raised an eyebrow. “And how do you know?”

“I don’t know much about you behind the screen but I did once see a compilation of you screaming at bugs.” You admit, gouging him a pointed look.

He side eyes you. “You watch bts compilation videos?”

“My cousin does, she’s 9.” You explain, not wanting him to get the wrong idea.

“I could sign something for her if you’d like?”

It was safe to say you were touched by the gesture. “Oh, no that’s okay. I couldn’t afford it and I wouldn’t want you to put yourself out.”

He laughs, pulling a pen from his pocket. “It’s my signature, not an appearance at a birthday party.”

“Unless you want to sign my hand…I don’t have anything for you to sign.”

“I do, come in here”. He tilts his head to the door behind you, his key card having full clearance to enter.

You didn’t know much about collecting Kpop albums, let alone BTS albums but you knew that the items in the room were worth a pretty penny. The walls had inbuilt shelves, albums, DVDs and other various merchandise all displayed on it. Multiple copies of each seemingly dating back to the day bangtan debuted.

“Wow.” You breathed, genuinely taken back.

He laughs, grabbing an album off the shelf before signing the front page. “It’s something the company did for us as a surprise when we changed buildings. There’s stuff in here I had no knowledge of even existing.” He hands you the album. “This is for your cousin. I left a little note inside.”

You take it slowly, afraid to somehow damage it. “She’s going to cry.”

“Adorable.” He chuckles. Pulling some things from the shelves. “Give her these too.”

“Thats too much.” You decline, eyeing the two DVDS and 3 BT21 plushies he shoves into a Hybe bag.

He shakes his head. “Nonsense, we get it all for free.”

“You really do want to see her cry don’t you?” You laugh, you truly meant that he had already given you so much.

You were slightly worried about everyone getting the wrong idea, you didn’t want anyone to think you were using him.

Before you could voice your objection once again he was already opening the door, bag in hand. “Let’s take all this back to my studio, there’s a few more things I think you’d enjoy.”

He’d already done so much, the least you could do was accompany him.

So you did.

You spent another hour exploring the Hybe building before he announced that he had in fact ordered food, insisting you eat with him.

The conversation between you both was easy, floating from one topic to another. The conversation never becoming too serious or invasive but personal enough for you to both understand each other a little better. He shared things about his time as a trainee as you did about studying abroad and your childhood.

By the time dinner was over it was already 6pm, 4 hours past the time you were supposed to wrap up the day.

Still he didn’t complain as he walked you to the private exit, waving to you as you were driven off.

It may have been a messy first day, but it was a first day you were sure you would remember forever.

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issysfantasyworldsblog · 1 month

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🔞 Let me give you love 🔞

Dark!Sergeant Kyle "Gaz" Garrick x afab!reader��

Part 1

read Part 2

Notes:

MDNI (18+), angst, dead dove: do not eat, non-con, cheating (reader's fiancé), despriction of sex, p in v sex, alcohol, alcohol abuse, kidnapping, blood, pain, heartbreak, dark, not proofread;

Tell me if I missed any.

Summary:

You went to your bar to distract yourself from your ex. But now you wish you hadn't.

Words: ~ 630

my socials / my masterlist

The Saturday night buzz at the bar was absent, as it was surprisingly quiet. A few customers had gathered in a corner, fully engrossed in rewatching a football game. Meanwhile, you were at the bar, sipping on a cocktail whose name you couldn't recall. You just wanted to forget what happened only a few hours ago.

After a tiring work day, you returned home to a dark apartment, assuming your fiance was not there. It was not uncommon for him to have a night shift, which made you resent his job as a police officer. A rhythmic squeak from upstairs caught your attention as you removed your boots and coat. The sound came from your shared bedroom, causing you to furrow your eyebrows and feel queasy. It was the same squeak that your neighbours often complained about and banged on the wall to stop. It was a major turn-off for you, and it always led to a halt in your sexual activity.

Your soon-to-be spouse was angry at you and the neighbours, then showered quickly. You were never able to reach orgasm. It was far from an enjoyable experience. Naturally, there was always tension in your relationship. Your apartment was filled with arguments instead of the sounds of pleasure; he began working more night shifts to avoid being at home with you.

Despite your desire to change and break free from your toxic behaviour, you were held back by the financial obligations of your upcoming wedding and honeymoon. As you made your way up the stairs, the creaking grew louder, but luckily, it did not expose your presence. You remained hopeful that you could turn things around and improve yourself.

From beyond the bedroom door, the sounds of the bed squeaking, your fiancé grunting, and unfamiliar moans filled the air. Your heart constricted with pain as she cried out his name. Despite the neighbours knocking, neither seemed to pay it any mind. It only seemed to intensify their passion. The bed squeaked faster, and her moans escalated into screams.

As you opened the door, tears streamed down your cheeks, and with a broken heart, you were caught off guard by the sight of your fiance ejaculating deep inside another woman. They were too lost in their ecstasy to notice you yet.

The following events were a blur, with only the stunned expressions of your former partner and their new romantic interest etched in your memory as you screamed at them, directing most of your anger towards your ex.

As you hastily shut the front door, a wave of nausea and dizziness washed over you. Your mind was consumed with the urgency to escape your ex, wherever that may be. The chilly air nipped at your cheeks as you traversed the sidewalk, drawing glances from empathetic strangers who didn't dare approach you.

As you reached your cherished bar, your legs propelled you towards where you first met your fiancé. Standing in front of the entrance, you deliberated whether to enter or not. Ultimately, you mustered the courage to go inside and end the relationship where it all began, despite the heartache attempting to hold you back.

Seated at the bar, you sipped on your second cocktail. The tears had stopped long ago, yet the hollowness in your heart persisted, possibly for weeks or even months. The fraudulent scenarios replayed in your mind, their cries ringing in your ears on a loop.

As you stood there, a group of people behind you were getting louder, animatedly talking about the ongoing football game. In an attempt to divert your attention from your thoughts, you focused on their conversation. Suddenly, someone beside you cleared their throat, snapping you out of your reverie. You turned to the side and saw the attractive stranger's smiling face.

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fandomfrenzysworld · 6 months

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Please read the notes for context.

Notes: For starters, Mercy Gone Wrong belongs to @faery-the-diamond. They've stated before that their AU does not contain Narilamb and wouldn't intentionally have it happen. But my brain wouldn't stop asking about how they ever could end up in a relationship. And thus, I wrote this little fanfic to finally silence those thoughts. This takes place in a future where Lambert has escaped the crown. (How? Don't know. Doesn't really matter for the fic.)

Notes TLDR; Not my AU, not a canon ship for the AU. Narilamb fanfic that takes place in the future.

------------------------------------------

Lambert shivered as he walked through the cult grounds. The early onset winter winds were making him regret his usual decision of outfit. He held his cloak shut, trying to block any winds he could. After his final round of the cult, making triple sure everything was taken care of, at least as well as things could be in this place, he was ready to get back to his house and warm up.

My house, Lambert thought, slightly grimacing once he realized who would be waiting there. That stupid three-eyed cat with his cocky grin, higher than thou attitude, and-

"Let me guess, it's much colder outside than you figured it'd be this morning?" Narinder asked as Lambert walked in, not even bothering to look away from his book.

Lambert usually would've scolded Narinder for the comment but found himself thanking his roommate's fascination in reading. Nainder was laying down on the floor in front of an already raging fireplace, giving the lamb a clear look at his usually prim and pristine posture being replaced by a more casual and relaxed one. That's where the thoughts came back.

Lambert blushed. For the past few months, he'd been seeing Nainder in a different light. One of someone who could be more than just a companion, one of a partner. His frustrations from these thoughts snapped him from them. He took off his cloak and folded it up.

"Yeah, yeah. You're the all-knowing Narinder who can never be wrong," Lambert said.

"I lived in snowy mountains for the majority of my life. I know a thing or two about predicting when the weather is going to turn south," Narinder corrected.

Lambert just rolled his eyes as he set his cloak down, walking over to join Narinder in front of the fire. The cat sat up and shut his book, preparing to speak with Lambert.

"So, what are we going to do for the cult during the winter this time?" Narinder asked.

"Oh no, don't let me get in the way. You're the one who knows this stuff so well," Lambert said sarcastically. "But being serious, I trust you in this department. You've improved a lot of our preparations so far, so just keep up the good work."

"Aww, I'm touched," Narinder said half sarcastically as he gave Lambert a light punch to the shoulder. He was fairly shocked when Lambert actually winced from it and started to rub the area. "Umm, are you okay?"

"Yeah, just been struggling with a bit of stiffness today. Maybe it's the weather?" Lambert mused.

"Want me to help you relax?" Narinder offered.

Lambert looked at his previous employer with a bit of confusion, a faint blush coming to his cheeks from the less-than-optimal wording. Thankfully his wool made it hard to see.

"C-Come again?" Lambert asked.

"Do you want me to help you relax? Your stiffness is actually probably from the weather. So, working the stiff areas and applying heat will help them loosen," Narinder explained.

"Oh..." was all Lambert could get out at first. "Umm, yeah, sure. What should I do?"

"Just turn around and try to follow my lead," Narinder said.

"Promise this won't turn into acupuncture?" Lambert said as he turned.

Narinder sighed and decided to ignore that comment. He cracked his knuckles to loosen them up and grabbed Lambert's shoulder, getting a surprised bleat from the lamb in front of him.

"W-What are you-?!" Lambert stammered as his cheeks turned rosy red.

"Easy. Keep your shoulders loose. I said was working the stiff spots, didn't I?" Narinder said.

"I-I thought you meant shoulder rolls and stuff," Lambert reasoned.

"Do you want me to stop?" Narinder asked.

"...no," Lambert said.

With that, Narinder began to press into Lambert's stiff muscles, using firm but gentle motions to work the area. His paws were extremely warm, sending small shudders through Lambert's body as his shoulders started to loosen up.

During this, Lambert began thinking about his feelings towards Narinder again. Ever since they started finding common ground, his perspective slowly shifted from anger, to tension, to comfort, and eventually even what he'd call friendship. But as the weeks started to move by, he found his heart was not keen on stopping where his head did. Slowly but surely their usual greeting to one another started to make his heart flutter. Even when he had thoughts about Narinder's less than desirable personality quirks, one glace at those three eyes made him not care. Like those flaws didn't matter or were worth toughing it out. He'd gone from someone he couldn't stand, to someone he wasn't sure he could be without. And now that same person was grabbing at his shoulders and helping to ease a burden. A temporary one, but one he was still taking time to help with.

"Alright, how's that?" Narinder asked, his voice snapping Lambert from his trance.

"Ah, yeah, that's a lot better," Lambert said as he turned back around. He found himself considering Narinder's posture again. In public the cat carried himself to be ready to react to anything, all in an effort to not ruin his image. It was almost as if he viewed social interactions as a battle that he needed to be ten steps ahead of. But when it was just the two of them, Narinder relaxed, let his shoulders drop. He wasn't tensed in preparation for anything. If Lambert had wanted to, he could close the distance in an instant, exploiting Narinder's vulnerability to prank or do something to fluster him.

"Hey, you still with me?" Narinder asked. "You're kind of just star-mph!"

Lambert had gone in for the kill. Metaphorically speaking. He kissed the black cat. Spurred on by the comfortable and soothing atmosphere, he let his heart get before him again. Once he realized what he just did, his eyes went wide and he pulled away.

"Ah! I'm sorry! I don't know what came over me, I just-!" Lambert shouted, trailing off when he heard Narinder start laughing. Then he caught sight of that stupid cocky smile on Narinder's face. "What's so..."

"I was wondering when you were gonna make your move. Though that was a lot bolder than I was expecting, I'll give you that," Narinder said.

Lambert sat there in disbelief, mouth agape. Soon enough his shock turned to anger, and his stare turned to a scowl. "You knew?!" he asked.

"Lambert, I've been alive for thousands of years. Had countless people develop feelings for me and confess to me. I started to pick up on signs a long, long time ago," Narinder explained.

"So you just let me sit there with my feelings bubbling up instead of talking to me?!" Lambert complained.

Narinder's smile faded as he sighed. "Honestly, I was thinking over my own feelings," he admitted.

Lambert's anger faded, taking the wind out of his sails.

"We've come a long way from how we used to see each other. And I got scared that maybe I was reading you wrong. I didn't want to be the one who made the first move. I guess I was scared I'd damage what we have. I could accept you not having feelings for me, but I couldn't stand the thought of going back to before. Of losing you and being alone," Narinder explained.

"Well, I guess we both had our reasons then..." Lambert said meekly. "I just wish mine were as good as yours."

Narinder raised an eyebrow at that.

"All cards on the table, I couldn't bring myself to confess because I was scared of what others would think. My followers, the people we talk to...and my people," Lambert admitted.

Narinder tensed. He knew Lambert didn't take discussions about his people lightly.

"I mean, what would they think if I brought them back and then told them that I was in love with the person they were put to the blade over? Would I be outcast, forced to leave you, face ridicule for being a disgra-ah!" Lambert ranted, only stopping once Narinder grabbed both sides of his face.

"I don't know. I know I don't care, but I also know you do. That's why I think we should take this slow. Figure out our feelings together without rushing into anything, and take it one step at a time," Nainder explained, trying to ease Lambert's worries.

"Uh...yeah, one step at a time. That sounds...nice," Lambert said.

Narinder let go and picked his book back up. He figured Lambert would need a little bit to process. He knew he couldn't change the lamb's mind, he learned that the hard way a long time ago.

He jumped a little bit when Lambert leaned into him, staying close as to not be completely alone with his thoughts. Narinder was happy to oblige, wrapping his arm around Lambert and holding him through the night.

------------------------------------------

Wow, I really got into this. This was pretty fun to write. Hopefully it wasn't too cringy or cheesy.

#Cult of The Lamb #Mercy Gone Wrong #cotl mgw #cotl

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izicodes · 1 year

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do you have any advice for someone who kinda "failed" to break into tech and is still in the medium-level for learning. i feel like i've spent so much time (years) on this but haven't made much progress. how do i really get into it and stay in it? love your blog btw. i'm tempted to start one of my own but my projects are a mess and ugly 😭

I'm sorry to hear that you feel like you haven't made much progress in breaking into tech. It's important to remember that everyone's journey is different, and it's never too late to start or improve. But then again, you have spent years learning and you want to into the tech industry.

The obvious advice would be don't give up. My dad has been studying to get into Cybersecurity since the early 90s and he just got into the industry this year. He never gave up - family to look after and he could study like the other students in his university course because the large majority of them were single 18-22-year-olds who their only responsibility is themselves. Don't give up and don't compare yourself to other people.

You've got to look at what has been holding you back. Health issues, work issues, money? Can't study full-time or even part-time if you need to pay the bills.

Even if you can, are you consistent with your studying? We all know consistency is key. Studying for one week but don't study for 2-3 weeks won't work. I know the type of learner I am - if I don't code or study every day, even just for 30 minutes, then my tendency to procrastinate will increase a lot and it'll all go downhill from there.

Know your strength - build on the skills you are good at. Believe it or not, I know a developer I met in a discord server who only uses HTML, CSS, and JavaScript to build websites and webpage themes for clients as a freelancer and he's doing really well. It's because he realised that he's really good at those three basic languages and he worked really hard to excel at them. Expand on what you know best.

On the flip side, you could look at job postings around where you live or nationally in your country and see what skills/languages/technologies they ask for the most for hiring developers. Example: I live in the UK and a couple of months ago when I was actively looking for a new Frontend Dev job, I saw that Vue.js, React.js, and PHP (besides the usual HTML, CSS, and JavaScript) were asked for the most. If I wanted those jobs, I would learn those technologies, create a few projects to showcase my knowledge in them, and start applying. That could be one way to break into the industry.

Another way would be certificated. Bootcamps, online courses, or in-person courses like university or community colleges. Yes, they say that you don't always need a university degree to get into tech but some kind of education you've gone through that is tech-related e.g. Google courses or the Frontend Dev course that Meta is providing (paid). My colleague completed a computer science degree but he then did a bootcamp and he completed and that's how he landed the job where I work. So even graduates are getting further education. If you can't afford the massive fees, Udemy is a great place to get courses. And don't be shy with the Havard CS50 course videos they have on YouTube - free and you get a certificate free as well!

The advice I give might not work if you haven't identified why after all these years you haven't gotten your foot into the tech industry. This is no way intended to be rude, but if another person who had the same amount of time you studied, and they have gotten a tech job in that time, what makes you different? Goes back to what I said about the things that are holding you back. Some of the reasons are inevitable like health but you need to keep making that effort!

If you need help, you need to ask. Find a mentor or support group. Having someone to guide and encourage you can be incredibly helpful. Look for a mentor or join a support group where you can connect with others who are also learning and growing in tech. You can search for them online, some people offer advice for CV/Resume help or real "getting into tech" advice on places like Fiverr or Upwork or just google for some consultants online. They would cost obviously but if you're really struggling, this might help. After completing bootcamps, they tend to help you get your first job etc so they might be worth considering!

The last bit of advice is do you have a portfolio? No no, like a proper one where you feel confident enough to give to family members, friends, and potential employers? No? Either learn to build one (free of charge) or hire someone to build it for you (costs money) A portfolio is a great way to showcase your skills and projects to potential employers. Even if your projects feel messy or ugly, focus on highlighting what you learned and what you accomplished.

Obviously, I gave hints of advice more towards Frontend Dev because that's what I know more of but you can alter the advice to whatever niche in programming you're into. Remember, breaking into any field takes time and effort. Stay motivated and focused on your goals, and don't be afraid to reach out for help or support when you need it. Good luck!

** I'm not the best at giving advice but I hope this helps 💗

#my asks #programming #coding #studying #progblr #codeblr #studyblr #comp sci #tech industry #coding advice #motivation #study motivation #study help #programmer #computer science #tech advice #career #career advice

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mkmoka · 6 months

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#HIIII and happy opening day to magickai! i’m lenny bringing you umeda moka (she/her, b. 2003) – she’s a new muse catered specifically to this verse, so i’m excited to start writing and developing her ☺️ check out her links here: about / biography (plz this is coming soon) and under the cut will be a rundown of her information. LIKE this post if interested in plotting, and i will be sliding into ur ims!!!!!!! ok. without further ado. let’s go.

INFO

moka is born on june 3, 2003 to magical lineage – her parents are both magi and so are many of her ancestors before her. she has an older sister, sora, so she’s the youngest in the family

growing up her parents were way more lenient with her than they were with sora bc sora was expected to be the heir and everything

girl sure did act like it too btwKWNDKEJDK she was way more loud and outspoken about her beliefs, thoughts, and feelings while moka was someone who would just. shut up and accept how things would go... not her best trait tbh but what can u do….

moka seemed a lot less motivated in life compared to other people growing up which is kinda sad bc ur like 13 girl why are u already so nonchalant about how ur future goes but i digress

sora always got more attention from people too. relatives, people who were interested in her, moka’s own classmates. moka never really minded however… bc she knew that she thrived in other areas

so we fast forward to when moka is 15 and sora is 17. sora wasn’t showing any signs of having any magical abilities at all so this was when she got more stressed as well as when their parents started putting their stress ON her… sora got meaner with her words and seemed more withdrawn during this time so this kind of strained the sisterly relationship they previously had where it was moka getting doted on

moka starts branching out during this year…. finds her passions and starts taking her hobby of volleyball more seriously, makes some good friends (some 4lifers prob)

in april, she comes into her powers of air manipulation and gets visited by an elder.

her companion is a hamster that looks like hamtaro strangely WNFMEJKEBSKD her name is yua and dont let her cuteness deceive u… shes always up to some shit..

an elder visiting moka made sora even MORE withdrawn from her like. and in blind rage she tried to kill moka like, she literally tried to kill her and this is the root of why moka seems so distant from everybody. this is when they come to terms that the magi gene probably skipped sora

in may, a month later, moka moves to korea to escape it all. her parents make her promise to keep what happened in april a secret, scared to seem like a broken family. they introduce her to their friends in jeju that allow her to stay with them

ofc she’s heard about lumera.. the people she stayed with encourage her to actually enroll in there and she studies her ass off for the written exam portion and since most of her parents circle are magi….. they help her out a lot regarding her powers. help her improve, help her find out what her limits and strengths are, help her with the evaluation section of the exam

she gets her acceptance letter in late june!!!! a few weeks after her birthday in a country she’s new to!!! yay!!! #Moka1stWin

now moka’s a sophomore and she majors in magical metaphysics and struggling with her own stress and trauma + controlling air manipulation bc it can be overwhelming sometimes… shes just a girl…

as for PERSONALITY….. she’s someone u have to get to know to love because her first impression isn’t that strong like. u’d just be like. “okay”. she’s distant and ends up hurting herself as well as other ppl in her process of retreat. moka is more shy and tbh i feel like she’d be a fun person to tease bc she wouldn’t be upset or do anything back just sit there. Probably embarrassed as hell probably would be like “uhhh” JWNFKSKDKNDJD

WANTED CONNECTIONS

moka… needs… a friend… who she can open up to about everything. she’s dismissive at first so a muse that’s extroverted and encouraging to what she wants to do would be all she ever needs like. seriously. or an unlikely friends situation would be very cute too!!!! either way, this muse would have to sign an nda contract so that her parents don’t come for both her and them…

i feel like she needs somebody to see as a sibling here especially because she’s been lonely these days… someone she’s met since her first days at lumera and made her feel right at home somehow. moka is always looking after them to make sure that they’re not pushing themselves harder than they need to, too

people she gets off on the wrong foot with… like yeah her usual state might be idgaf-ism but she also needs some spice in her life…. this muse might’ve gotten frustrated at moka’s lack of ambition, and i feel like moka wouldn’t work well with those with too much of it, as well as cocky personalities

japanese childhood friends that drifted apart from each other and they recently get to reconnect.. how their friendship would look like now would be up to us :3

someone who’s been tutoring her korean. she’s advanced level at the language now because of highschool year determination and has been living in sk for like. a year but she would still appreciate help! maybe they met at korean literature club or smth

MOKA WORKS AT BUBBLING BOBA…. her regulars that she doesnt remember by name but by their boba order WLMDMSNDK if they end up meeting on campus she’s just gonna be like. “omg it’s you milk tea boba with 50% sweetness and light ice”

she’s still bitter abt being kicked out of volleyball club. so. friends she made at volleyball club that she now is “mad” at for stealing her position… friends she still plays volleyball with outside of the club.. etc etc

unrequited crushes that moka makes so obvious that she feels something for them yet she thinks it’s the opposite and is still “hiding” it like. and maybe this time she’s getting distanced from.. let’s see how she reacts to that.. LFMDJDJJS

in that same vein, old exes bc i feel like she wouldn’t be the best in a relationship 😭😭😭 i wanna explore her being guilty regarding it plus… i’m sure it’ll make fun threads!!!!

people to help her get on track, get her motivated with “saving the world” and everything else that has to do with it. moka will be like “uhhhhh” at first but at the end of the day she’ll be the most grateful

i also do prefer figuring things out 1 on 1 and bouncing off on each others ideas so.. let’s brainstorm!!! 🥹 i will appreciate all of the plots u hit me with 💓

#mk:intro #i just got the yass meal

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nedjemetsenen · 8 months

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Why do Fanfic writers generally hate “constructive” criticism?

This is a topic that comes across my dash a couple times a month, but those posts generally focus on how unsolicited criticism is rude. Today, I wanted to take a moment to talk about the ways that it’s also generally useless even if you’re trying to be helpful. To do this, I will be using examples from my own comment section, but please do not seek those comments out. This post is about informing, not about creating a hate mob.

Issue One: You don't know if your criticism is already known

No story is perfect. There will always be flaws. Sometimes you find a flaw that the author can improve on. Sometimes you pick up on something that the author accepted as a flaw during the writing process for whatever reason. It may have been because they're writing for fun. It may have been because they liked the flawed version of the story better than the story without the flaw. It may be because they genuinely didn't know how to fix it, but still wanted to tell the story flaw and all.

To give an example of this, here’s an excerpt from a truly lovely comment where the person also tried to give some helpful feedback:

you did a fantastic job with the characters you altered to fit the story. They were mostly rounded and felt like whole people instead of cardboard cut-outs. However, this made the characters that you didn't change feel very flat. [List of characters] often felt like window dressing, like they were included solely because they were part of the original show.

This is exactly why those characters showed up in that fic and the issue of them being window dressing isn’t something that I introduced. It’s a flaw in the original work. To fix this issue, I would have cut these characters or merged them into one character. But this wasn’t original fiction. It was fanfiction, so I decided to sacrifice quality for the sake of honoring the source as it felt wrong to remove these guys when they’re a classic part of the roster. I also actively chose to not develop them more as it would have killed the pacing and added nothing to the story I was trying to tell. There are characters that I arguably should have given more screen time to in that fic, but these were not those characters.

Issue Two: Timeliness

Unless the story is newly published, you have no idea if your criticism is still useful. Even if it is newly published, how long has the fic been going for? Are you critiquing a chapter from 3 years ago or last week? Unless it’s the latest chapter, you don’t know. Even if it is the latest chapter, you don’t know when it was written. Sometimes people find an old work of theirs and just post it without editing because they don’t want to edit and they know people will enjoy the story as-is. Sometimes people write the whole fic and then post it week by week while they work on the next one.

I recently had someone ask me for some feedback on a section of dialogue and I pointed out an area for potential improvement. The person who asked for the feedback has read some of my stuff and pointed out that I’d used a similar technique in a fic and they were absolutely correct. I had. But the fic was a few years old and I simply haven’t yet taken the time to go back and edit all 100k+ of it. I write at least a quarter of a million words every year and that means that I’m always learning. It’s incredibly rare for me to reread an old piece of mine without finding something to edit. It won’t always be something major, but it’s there. Waiting. Taunting me.

Along similar lines, if you're pointing out a flaw that's specific to the story, I'm not sure what you're expecting to happen next. While some writers go back and edit old works (I certainly have), a lot of writers consider older works done and prefer to focus on new ones.

Issue Three: Most people are shockingly bad at giving good constructive criticism.

Constructive criticism is a skill that you have to learn and practice. It’s also genuinely difficult to learn as it's the difference between helping a person tell the story that you want to read and helping them tell the best version of the story that they want to tell. The first is not good crit, but it is the crit that most people give.

There are times when I’ll beta for a fic and think “that character would never do that”, but that’s terrible feedback because I’m imposing my version of the character over the author’s take on the character and they’re not trying to tell a story with my headcanons. They’re using theirs and my job as an editor/beta is to accept that and help them tell their story as best they can.

I've also been given feedback like this. Here’s an excerpt from a comment where someone pointed out something that they didn’t like in one of my fics:

it's cute to see him like this once in a while but he's a grown man and "adorable" feels a little out of place in this situation

This is utterly useless feedback and I will die on that hill. In my opinion, I wrote this character perfectly because this is how I see him. It’s my headcanon and the version of him that you'll see in all of my fics. What’s funny is that I actually think that I got the female lead in this story a bit wrong. I should have toned her down, but this was early in my journey to learn these characters and then we’re back to issue two.

Final Thoughts

If an author asks for constructive criticism, then absolutely feel free to give it to them, but if you've ever wondered why most authors don't, the above is probably why. It's why I only welcome grammatical corrections and historical/cultural accuracy corrections on my own fics. Those are the only comments that I've ever found useful.

There are times when I seek out other types of feedback. I just don't get it from random readers after the story is already published. I get it from select individuals during the writing process and that's the feedback process favored by most writers as it's the one that's most likely to lead to improvement.

If you ever come across a fic that you love, but you feel like it could use an editor, my advice is to leave a comment saying how much you love the story and then offer to beta read (the fandom word for an editor. No I don't know why fandom has a different definition for that word than the definition used in the publishing industry. It just is what it is.) And if you don't want to take the time to beta for someone, that's okay! But if you don't want to make the massive time commitment to truly help the person improve, then maybe don't give unsolicited feedback that's more likely to make them stop writing altogether? I promise you, that person will improve on their own just by writing more. I certainly did! If you read the fanfic that I wrote when I was 13, you'd be shocked by how bad it is compared to my current stuff.

I personally consider that fact a source of pride.

#fandom #writing fanfic #fanfiction #not a call out of any sort #It just seems like people are genuinely confused why fanfic writers don't want feedback and so I figured I'd give my personal logic #I like to improve but I do it in my own manner

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larkermarker · 2 years

Text

Finally got around to making a super simple ref sheet for my ew redesigns. These have been floating around in my head for around a year.

These are also the designs for my eddswhirl au. To keep it short, eddswhirl is just my spin on the main series. An au where I can shove my headcanons and interpretations that might not be canon compliant. Also timeline and story changes that I want to make.

Some additional design notes below

Tom possession timeline thing I made this quickly agahag

Details for each stage

4 to 7

Not possessed yet

Just a normal kid with big pupils

8 to 12

Got possessed by a wrath demon a few years ago (thanks to dad)

The demon is affecting Toms body physically

Eyes fully black now

Doesn’t like that kids point that out all the time

A little self conscious about his eyes

13 to 17

Teeth are growing in unnaturally sharp

Braces are barely helping

Anger management issues

Shifts a little under extreme stress or anger but can’t change into a full monster yet

Thinks his black eyes make him look cool and edgy (just like all those ocs he saw online that use black eyes when they turn evil)

18 to 36

Not experiencing any new major changes to his regular form

Alcohol helps keep him emotionally numb (the demon can affect his emotions even when not under stress)

Can shift into full monster form now (he can't really control it)

37 to 38

Demon is taking over more of Toms body

More features from his monster form or bleeding into his normal form

It is exhausting Tom physically and mentally trying to keep it down

Lashes out more

38 to 39

Finally gets a successful exorcism preformed (parents tried in the past but it didn't work)

He is a lot happier and expressive with that thing gone

Eyes turn back to normal (cursed) but still has sharp teeth

Over all he is feeling good

40 to (when he dies?)

Oops! Tom developed eye cancer after some time

The demon was the only thing preventing that from happening (it wanted to keep its host alive so it protected, or lessened, most inner and outer damage that came to Tom)

His eyes are completely white

Got a visor (thanks Tord) to help him see again

And some Tord rambles (he is all i have the most thought out rn)

Tord is not totally evil in this au

He does initially plan on taking over the world, but chickens out of going through it

His dad sucks (also one of the motivations for Tord wanting to take over) and he doesn't like to think of him

His mother and him have a strained and distant relationship

They do bond more as Tord gets older

Tords family moved to the UK when he was a teen

No one knows he is trans until after a few year living with the other 3 boys (he told them)

Likes to joke that he is the straightest in the house

Still likes his anime, guns, and robots

Dated Matt for a few months before he left

He left for around 6-8 years to join the army and to go to uni

He knew Paul for a few years before join the army

Tord was planning on going to uni to improve his engineering

Was also going to go back to the house to improve his giant robot prototype, he knew it was far from being battle ready

Skip to a few years in uni and now Tord was having second thoughts on the whole red army thing

He tried to get in contact with Paul but he couldn't reach him

The contact info must have been changed on Pauls end

There has been someone continuing Tords plan behind his back, a left over Tord clone from "Spares" (im going to call clone Tord, Red)

Red had made it look like Tord changed his mind on going to uni, coming up with a different plan that could still achieve their goals

Red had a more talkative, confident, and charismatic personality than the other Tord clones

Great at controlling an army, and pretty decent with machines

But Red wasn't doing this for himself, he was doing this for Tord

He had an obsession with living up to Tords goal

Also a big Tord simp

Planning on the two of them leading the army together after Tord returned (he would even let Tord rule solo if he wanted)

After the events of "The End", it just left Red with a ruined plan, friendships broken, and Tords work and public image in shambles

In the future, Tord teams up with the boys to take Red down

Tord is the one to finish Red off

I have it so the au can go down two routes

Tord can either pretend to be Red so he can dismantle the army, or pick up where Red left off (pissing off his friends who he just got to trust him, especially after he told them that what Red was doing is what he was planing to do years ago)

#eddsworld #ew matt #ew tom #ew tord #ew edd #eddswhirl au #rambles #eddsworld designs #eddsworld redesign #larkart

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universe-requests · 2 months

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Got any college tips?

Ps make it lengthy

Yeah! Note that a lot of this will be based on my own experiences as someone w ADHD at a large public university, and may not apply necessarily to you!

Academic Stuff:

even if textbook readings aren't mandatory, if there are associated sections/readings w your classes, you should read the textbook. there is a ton of stuff in there that's not gonna be covered well by your lectures, and you'll benefit from the additional context and examples you get from reading

make calendars and to-do lists weeks in advance. if your classes have syllabi with schedules, put all their deadlines onto your calendar. from the calendar, write down what you want to get done each day. i usually try to do 1-2 assignments every day. i do this usually a few weeks to a month into the future, so that i know what i need to get done each day. if you need to push an assignment, you'll know what you have to do for the coming days and can balance where best to put stuff you couldn't complete.

go to office hours! if you start an assignment and do what you can on it b4 going to office hours, you'll be able to better ask questions on what you're confused abt. for some of my harder classes, i went to office hours sometimes twice a week.

you may need to change your major! that's okay. i changed mine like 2 or 3 years in and had to do an extra year to make up for the change. i was afraid to "give up" on my first major (biomedical engineering), but if i'd switched sooner, i would've avoided needing to take extra time. if you do end up switching a bit later like i did, it's not the end of the world tho! it's more money obv, but this major has been much easier for me n i've made way more friends in informatics than i ever made in engineering

apply for disabilities if you think you'll need accommodations! i originally tried to go without them n realized that i was depriving myself of resources for no reason. having extra time on assignments n exams improved my grades bc i could take the time i needed!

Friendship Stuff:

compliment ppl on things like their fashion, hair, phone cases, pins, or backpacks! this is a great way to start a conversation and get a conversation flowing and i have had multiple friendships start just by giving a compliment and then continuing to chat from there

start/join campus discord servers! it's a great way to meet ppl in your classes or your building. i've made multiple friends thru discord servers for my classes, and you also get to work thru assignments or clarify things together

hang-outs don't have to be big plans. you can just msg ppl if they wanna get food at the dining hall n sometimes that'll evolve into a bigger hang-out if you end up wanting to go do smth after!

Mental Health Stuff:

if you're living in the dorms, you'll probably feel rlly scared/sad on your first night or even first few nights abt being on your own n such. both myself and my therapist sobbed our first nights in the dorms! but it'll get better n you'll feel more confident doing things by yourself/being away from home as you go

the first year can be rlly tough to adjust to. i was so depressed i was sometimes peeing in my trashcan bc i couldn't get myself out of bed. now, i'm doing much much better! as you go, you'll get better at your time management skills and knowing your limits and coping w frustration/anxieties

as much as possible, go to events on campus. go to plays, movie nights, clubs, concerts, craft nights, game nights etc. n don't feel afraid to do it by yourself! it's fun to have things to look forward to and get yourself out of the dorm and making sure that you're eating meals (bc if you're already out, you might as well eat)

#college #ask #long post

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xylaes · 10 months

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AUGUST DWC DAY 3 - POSSIBILITY

Xylaes wiggled the fingers of his left hand, staring down at his bare arm with a noticeable frown as the magical runes continued to refuse to show themselves. He had tried pinching it, slapping it, punching it, and even tried using it while sparring and training to no avail. The runes continued to remain dormant only until he was in imminent danger where he would have no alternate escape. The predictable unpredictability of it all was, at best, an annoyance.

After having spent the majority of his life skilled in the arcane, it was a massive loss to have his magic stripped from him as a part of his sentence decades ago. To this day it was still incredibly painful. ‘Even worse than losing an arm’ he silently mused to himself. And after the Shadowlands, he would know.

Now, he had the ability literally at his fingertips and he couldn’t figure out how to make it work properly. There was still plenty of lingering trauma from the limb replantation that happened in Maldraxxus, but as gruesome and horrible as that was, it had given him something back that he thought to be lost forever. If only he could make sense of this foreign arm and familiar magic. That was probably the most frustrating part of it all, he was already well-versed in arcane magic, why was this so difficult?

An intriguing thought had crossed his mind multiple times.There was always the possibility that this wasn’t actually arcane, even though it felt like it was. …Didn’t it? It had been about twenty years since he had truly known the touch of that magic, and a lot had happened in between, so he knew he could be very wrong about that feeling.

Catching sight of Garren approaching out of the corner of his eye, he pulled his sleeve back into place and returned his attention to the cigarette in hand. A brief smile was offered to his son as he sat down nearby. Their relationship had somewhat improved over the last few months during their time working together on the mercenary crew, but Xylaes was pretty sure that Garren still wouldn’t be calling him ‘dad’ anytime soon. So much had happened, and he was a grown man at this point who had his own separate set of worries and traumas to deal with; Xylaes wasn’t entirely sure how to relate to him at times.

Much to his inner dismay, he found himself extending his case of cigarettes in offering towards Garren. Immediate regret and awkwardness, why did he do that? Father of the year right here.

Garren simply gave an amused look before thankfully waving away the offer. Thank Elune he had inherited his mother’s smarts. “....I need you to help me with something, but you’re not going to like it. But this is something I need to be able to move forward.”

Xylaes sat up straighter, stubbing his cigarette out on the bottom of his boot. He was an intuitive man and had spent the better part of his life exploiting people for his work in the military. He could almost always tell when someone was lying to him, or when someone was trying to use him. Hard to manipulate the manipulative. “I’m listening.”

“I need to see mom.”

Xy knew this was going to happen one day, although he didn’t expect to be the one who was asked to help. But it made sense. He was familiar with Maldraxxus, and he had been branded with the House of the Chosen symbol to allow him safe passage around the land. It was just the matter of ‘how to get there’ that plagued him. The public portals to Oribos had been sealed years ago, which was honestly for the best. Being able to traverse between Azeroth and the afterlife was not a wise idea for anyone. Especially for those like him who had lost someone only to find them again within the Shadowlands. But maybe…

There was a small part of him that immediately disliked Garren for asking this of him, but he understood the need. “I don’t think that’s a wise idea.”

“I’m gonna try to do it with or without your help.”

Xylaes’s jaw clenched as he glanced away. Of course he would go that route, he was his son after all. Better for him to help than anyone else, right? “I can’t make you any promises, I don’t know if it can even be done anymore. But I can try to help.” But maybe…seeing Callia didn’t necessarily mean physically going into Maldraxxus, maybe that would be enough.

@daily-writing-challenge @garrennorassin

#story #garren #xylaes #augustdwc2023 #dwc2023

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vvh1sk3y · 1 year

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Whiskey! I am so sorry to read about happen to you today, that is truly unacceptable. I am not from the United States but what is your working environment like? I just want to understand why people would treat you like this! Again, I am so sorry and I hope you are doing okay.

thank you for your kind words 💖 for privacy i don’t want to reveal to much about where i work publicly but i work for a home improvement store. a majority of my coworkers are men and there are some middle aged/retired women. there are only two other women close to my age who work there who didn’t leave after only a few months. many women around my age who have worked at my store don’t last long and a lot of them have said they can’t stand how they’re treated and it’s one of the reasons they quit. i have a pretty high tolerance for bullshit and am a super passive person so i sort of deal with what happens to me. l

i made it on a coworker’s “hottest women at *store*” list, i’ve been sniffed, i’ve been offered weed/a vape (by being shoved in my face), i caught someone watching porn next to me my first week doing training, i had my coworker tell me “i should be grateful for being hit on and be happy i’m as hot as i am” 😀 and that’s only the tip of the iceberg that is the BS at my job

#whiskey’s thought dump #anon reply #rant #when i write or talk about my job i realize how bad it actually is…?

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lovemesomesurveys · 1 year

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1. What is something in your life that you feel hopeful about right now? Uhhh. Honestly, as much as I’d like to feel that way, it’s hard. I’m having a difficult time seeing past some of the stuff I’m going through and imagining anything changing. I’m scared it’s only going to stay the same. I mean, there’s been significant progress with some stuff, but I’m still bedridden and not where I’d like to be strength-wise, though that has gotten a little better. I’m lacking the motivation and energy that I need to work on things. And the hope. :/

2. What was the last thing you worried about that turned out better than expected? I mean like I said, I really have made significant progress with one of the major things I’d been dealing with for years. For so long I struggled with it and it seemed to only get worse without much chance at all in getting better, but now here we are. Even in the hospital it had actually gotten worse. However, once I had the feeding tube for awhile and was back home where it could be better managed and monitored by my mom, things really started improving. So, I need to remember that when I feel hopeless and down about other things. If something like that situation managed to really turn around, then the other stuff has a chance as well.

3. Name somewhere you are planning on visiting in the near future? All I’m able to do right now is go to my doctor appointments. I have two in the next couple weeks.

4. How often do you go grocery shopping and how much food do you usually get in one go? My mom goes twice a month for our big grocery trips and gets a lot.

5. What is a meal you eat extremely often? Or do your meals & food choices vary a lot? I’ve just been eating the same few foods to be honest. Like, I have Cream of Wheat every morning and Taco Bell for dinner like 5 or 6 times a week. I’ve started having sandwiches most days for lunch. Other foods I throw in the mix sometimes are chicken wings, hot dogs, and pizza. Oh, and of course I eat a lot of Reese’s everyday. :X

6. When was the last time you felt unable or unwilling to speak your mind to someone? I’ve been struggling with something involving a couple family members since last year and I’m afraid to address it to them. I just don’t see that conversation going well. I don’t want to cause any issues or make things weird between us. I don’t want to hurt their feelings. But I am upset with some things that were said and how they went about some things and it’s caused me to be distant and bitter. I don’t want it to be that way, but I can’t seem to just let it go.

7. What was the last thing you changed your mind about? Hm. I’m blanking at the moment.

8. Who was the last friend you saw, and what did you do together? I don’t have any friends.

9. Who tends to show up in your dreams? Do you ever wonder if you appear in anyone else's dreams? I always have the most random dreams about the most random people. Like, people I went to elementary school with that weren’t even my friends will show up in my dreams and I’m like wtf??

10. What is something you wish you could say to someone who is no longer in your life, or something you wish they could know? I do miss Ty. He was a special part of my life for a time and he was there during a time I really needed him. It’s like he was put in my life for that time and then he served his purpose cause it’s like he literally just vanished. He stopped contacting me and deleted all his social media so I had no way of getting in touch. But the time we had together truly was a special time and I just miss him. I even thought at one point he was going to be “the one.” Anyway, I guess I’d just want to tell him what he meant to me and how much of an impact he had on me. I wish we could be in each other’s lives again.

11. Instead of flat earth, what do you think of the simulated earth theory, that we're basically all just a giant computer program or virtual reality? No, we’re not Sims.

12. What worries you most about your future? Like I always say, I’m scared I’ll never get better or get worse and that I won’t do anything with my life. I feel like I’m grandpa Joe from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory right now and I don’t want to spend my whole life this way.

13. What is something you do to feel better when you're scared? I mean, it depends what I’m scared about. I guess I typically talk about it with my mom and get comfort and reassurance from her and just try to distract myself with something like ASMR or a show.

14. Who do you feel you can count on the most in life? Is there anyone you wish you could count on more? I know I can always count on my mom. She is why I’m still here and keep going.

15. What makes you trust someone? When was the last time someone broke your trust? If I feel comfortable talking to and sharing things with someone is a good indicator. I’d have to get to know them of course and establish a friendship. That takes a little time. And obviously if they don’t give me a reason to feel like I can’t trust them. I’ve met people who clearly like to gossip and I questioned whether I could trust them or not. I kind of just get a feeling, ya know? As for the last time someone broke my trust, it was last year with a couple of people. They did some things that made me feel uncomfortable sharing things with them.

16. When was the last time you shared a secret with someone, and how did they react? I don’t remember.

17. Are you more likely to give advice or to ask for it? I used to be the one often giving advice. I don’t tend to ask for advice a lot, but I do try to look up stuff and figure things out on my own. Or I just dwell on stuff and not do anything.

18. When was the last time you felt totally lost, figuratively speaking? How about literally? >> I constantly feel lost, figuratively speaking. I almost never feel lost, literally speaking. <<< Yeah, I feel that way as well. I’ve been in a place figuratively for quite some time where I don’t know what to do, what I’m doing, or what is going to happen. I just feel so unsure about everything. I don’t know how to get past this. I don’t even recall the last time I literally felt lost.

19. In what ways are you emotionally strong? In what ways are you emotionally weak? I don’t feel I am emotionally strong. In fact, I feel very, very weak. I just feel like such a hopeless mess. I haven’t been handling things well. I don’t know how to get through this. I’ve just kept going and try to get through each day.

20. What is the strangest book you have ever read? How did you find out about it? I can’t really think of a book I’ve read to be “the strangest.” Probably some book for school, ha.

21. Do you prefer to watch movies or tv alone or with other people? Is there anything you refuse to watch alone? I love having shows to watch with my mom and/or brother. I just find it more enjoyable and it’s fun having someone to discuss the show or movie with and freak out together. I also like going on my personal Tumblr and seeing what other people are saying about it about it and reblogging a bunch of stuff. It’s just really fun to get involved in a fandom and share the experience with others.

22. What was the last thing you broke? How about fixed? I haven’t broken something in quite awhile I don’t think. I’m not much of a fixer upper so I don’t know.

23. Is there a sign or symbol that means a lot to you for whatever reason (eg. seeing certain animals or birds, 11:11 or other repeating numbers, syncs, butterflies, hearts in nature, etc)? Ever since I was a kid the number 8 has been my favorite number and it does have some significance to me.

24. Do you have any personal ghost stories or paranormal experiences? No.

25. What do you get complimented on the most? I’m a total mess so I’m not getting complimented on anything regarding my physical appearance that’s for sure, ha. I also don’t have any skills or talents to be complimented on either. Sooo, nothing.

26. What is something unusual that you find attractive? Men’s veiny hands are attractive to me for some reason.

27. What time do you tend to eat your first meal of the day? And your last? I typically have my breakfast around 11AM and my dinner around 7 or 8PM.

28. What was the subject of the last video you watched? I’m watching Disney history and ride related videos.

29. When was the last time you traveled out of town, and where to? Last March. Feels like forever ago.

30. How would you describe your overall aesthetic? >> I wouldn't, really. I just wear and surround myself with what I like, what feels good (physically and emotionally). <<< Ha, I mean yeah same.

#personal #text #survey #surveys

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