#why did he (abusive ex ew ^__^) make me write this''

[angeltism]

my notes app entries from may-sept 2022 range from "oh hey me being passionate about my dg.r ocs how nice ^__^" and "wow so that's why i'm so fucked up ._."

#➳ the fool speaks #eueue i don't really hold many neg emotions to the being who made me this . but . can't deny there was some (a lot) of fucked up shit that #sure did happen . it's fine but i just went from ''aww i remember how much i loved writing about emai and samuel :D'' to ''hey What The Fuc #why did he (abusive ex ew ^__^) make me write this'' #in like two seconds ick

[sugawhaaa]

how would you feel about writing a Jiung x Fem!Reader fic where her long time boyfriend cheats on her, she goes out to drink with Jiung who's her best friend (and has a crush on her), he finds out about what happened and because they're a little drunk they decide Jiung will help her get revenge and have a little too much fun together ;) it's up to you to decide if reader and bf will stay together and Jiung will be her secret affair OR reader will dump her bf and start a new story with Jiung OR they're scared of what they did and end the friendship or whatever finale you think would suit best the main plot

JIUNG X READER

Strawberry

🍓Warings::smut!mentions of alcohol!mentions of abusive relationships!

🍓Pairing::switch!jiung x switch!fem!reader

🍓Genre:: multiple positions, cream pie, some food involved, blowjob, handjob, praise, hair pulling, degradation, orgasm denial, he calls you a slut like...a few times but not much, squirting

🍓A/N:: I'm so close to 3k and I can't believe it like 🤯 never thought my little writing hobby would take me this far...

"So let me get this straight. He had been cheating on you for a few months and he filmed them uh doing it and thought it'd be a good fucking idea to post it?" Jiung said with his right arm leaning on the counter of the bar. You threw another shot down your throat. It burned so good. You put the glass down on the counter.

"Yeah, pretty much," you look into Jiungs big eyes. He shakes his head.

"I mean seriously," he leans back and turns his chair to you. "After like three years of dating and going out all the time he gave up all of you for someone like her?" He said as he gestured to you.

"Yup, she's so fake and plastic like ew," you say as Jiung takes a sip of his margarita. "I gave him everything he ever wanted. Can we go out this weekend? Well, I had plans but sure babe! Can you do the laundry for me I hurt my back at the gym. Sure babe! Can we fuck I'm stressed? Of course babe!" You impersonated his manly voice in a mocking tone. Jiung laughed.

"You know, I never really trusted that guy," Jiung starts as you take a swig of your wine. You shoot an eyebrow at him. "Of course, I was happy for you! You found a guy who loved you as much as you loved him! It was great but after a while, I started questioning him. He had some red flags pop up and I was a little worried," Jiung explained before taking another sip of his margarita. You nodded. It looked like Jiung had one more thing to say so you let him continue. "He even talked smack about me to my face," he said as he lightly spun his margarita.

"Wait what?" You were taken aback. That didn't seem like something your ex would do to Jiung at all.

"It was after Christmas I think. You gave me a more expensive gift than him and he got pissy about it. He said 'Don't try me punk' or something like that I dunno," Jiung shrugged before taking another gulp of his margarita. His Adam's apple flexing.

"Wow, I didn't know he said that...well, I'm glad I spent my good money on you anyway," you said as you crossed your arms. Jiung finished off his margarita.

"So, I know now might not be the greatest time but remember how anytime you and him did it there were things you were gonna tell me about it but your ex said not to tell anyone?" Jiung said as he put his glass on the table along with his elbow.

"Well...it might not be for everyone's ears. Why don't we head back to your place, it's kinda getting late," you suggested as you stood up.

"Sounds good," he nodded his head and stood up as well. You chugged the last bit of your wine and paid for all your drinks. Splitting the total between Jiung. You leave the bar and walk to Jiungs Place. You were a little tipsy but not enough to make walking around town a scare. There was some idle chit chat and making you flustered when he'd ask about what you were gonna tell him at his house.

You finally got to his house and leaped onto his couch. Jiung took off his jacket and hung it up as you stretched on his couch. The sweet smell of him filling your nose.

"So, shall we continue our conversation," he smiled as he sat on the couch with you. You huffed.

"Well, he was a little bit of a jerk when it came to sex. Whenever wherever he wanted to do it, it would happen. But if I asked to do it he would reply with some bs like 'Can't you just wait?' But he said in such a rude tone," You complained as you laid down on the couch, barely giving Jiung any room to sit. "Not to mention he had no rhythm," you say with a swing of your hand. Jiung chuckled. "The amount of orgasms I had to fake just to get him to piss off is pathetic," you sigh as you play with your hair.

"Wait what? How do you fake an uh orgasm?" He asked with pink cheeks.

"It's pretty easy really, it's kind of a girl thing," you look at him ignoring his flustered state.

"I still don't get it," he shrugged.

"So when a girl cums she gets tighter it goes like woosh," you demonstrate with your hands how it works. Jiung looks like he understands but is also concerned. "But women can intentionally get tighter, we can control it," you demonstrate with your hands again.

"Ohhh," a light bulb ignites in jiungs head. "So you just do that and act like it feels really good right?" He says as he watches your hands, his cheeks pink.

"Yeah pretty much," you shrug. "Do you have any strawberries?" You ask suddenly.

"Uh maybe? Why?" He answered and watched you get up and go to the fridge. You find the package of strawberries and take them out to the living room. You open the package and lean over the arm rest.

"Open~" you say as you hold a strawberry above Jiungs mouth. He hesitates but he opens his mouth. You slip the strawberry into his mouth and he bites down on it. You pull the stem off from his mouth and clean the juice off his lips. He blushes madly. Without thinking clearly you put your lips against his. Jiungs eyes widened. No words could be spoken. You set the package of strawberries down and break the kiss. Jiung swallows the strawberry.

"Y-Y/N?" He said as he watched you closely. Trying to read your confusing body language. "I...we should talk," he says with a quivering voice, his body shifting.

"I find actions speak louder than words," you hold his cheeks with your gentle grip. You kiss him passionately, adding tongue this time. He moans softly into the kiss. He leans back onto the couch and you rest on top of him.

"I've loved you for so long," he said between kisses. You look up at him slightly shocked.

"You were always a hottie," you chuckle before biting his neck. He moaned quietly as his hand went to his mouth. You slid your hands up his shirt and feel up his abs, tracing each one of his muscles. Occasionally you kiss and bite his neck and shoulders, leaving little marks. His long hands soon followed suit. His hands inching up your stomach. The touch of his cold hands makes your stomach fluctuate. His hands went around your back as you continued to lick his neck. You tug at his shirt. "May I?" You look at him through hooded eyes.

"S-Sure," he blushes and lets you pull his shirt off. You lick his chest down to his nipple. You feel his body jerk up into yours and he pulls at your shirt. You wanted to drag this out, tease him, graze over his cock a few times before actually jerking him off. Edging him until he screams out your name but you couldn't wait. It felt like you'd already been waiting years to feel him inside you.

"Jiung..." you say softly as you remove your hands from him, sitting on top of his thighs. He tilts his head to show you he's listening. "I know how sudden this is but...I'm so horny I can't do this," you whine as you curl up on his chest. He pats your head as he listens to you. "I need you inside me..." you whisper and wait for him to reply.

"Are you sure you want that? This early?" He takes your chin to make you look up at him. You nod with doe eyes. "As long as you're okay with it..." he strokes your hair and kisses your forehead. "I don't have any condoms on me though..." he says as he looks at the living room table, the strawberry pack still on it.

"No, no condom it's fine," you shake your head and take off your shirt. He looks at you surprised.

"As long as you're sure..." he seems a bit skeptical but whatever you want goes in this situation. The two of you stand up and take off all remaining clothes. When he sees you take off your bra his cheeks flush. He never thought he'd be blessed enough to see this view. Once prepared you lay down on the couch and waited for Jiung. He crawled on top of you and pumped his cock a few times. "Are you sure?" He asks one last time as he looks down at you, biting your lip.

"I'm sure baby, please, put it in," you whined as you grabbed his hand to stop him from prepping anymore than he had to because all he was doing was killing time. He took a deep breath and agreed to do what you pleaded. You bite your lip and watch as he teases his tip against your soaked folds. You buck your hips slightly in anticipation. He finally slowly slides inside you. You jump and grab his shoulders. He was much bigger than your ex...you felt your walls stretch to engulf all of his length.

You moaned loudly and arched your back. "So deep," you whimper draggily.

"Your so much tighter than I thought," Jiung groans as buries himself inside you. He takes a deep breath. "Can I move?" He asks as he looks down at you.

"W-Wait just a bit longer," you say hoarsly. You took a few deep breaths before nodding. "Okay," you look up at him and wait for him to start. One last deep breath between the two of you rings in the air before he slowly pulls out a bit and ruts back into you.

All the built-up tension between you and him throughout the years was finally being let out and you felt like you could see the light right then and there. He slowly continued to thrust up into you. Slow but consistent. Nothing like your ex but...your ex never made you feel like heaven anyways.

You whimper as he hits that gummy spot buried inside you. Your legs jerk up and a shiver runs down your body. This doesn't go unnoticed by Jiung of course and he continues to abuse that spot. He chuckled and threw his head down.

"Fuck you feel so good," he said raspily as he continued to hit your G-spot. Jiung's speed started increasing and you couldn't help but wrap your legs around his waist. He leaned down and kissed you. Your lips collide and tongues interlock. You break the kiss to hoarsely speak.

"I think I'm getting close," you whimper out before biting your lip. You feel your walls tighten around his length but it doesn't slow him down one bit. If anything it persuades him to go faster. You throw your head back and let out an aching moan, your nails clawing at his shoulders. Jiung shakes his head, his platinum hair hanging in front of his eyes. He's unable to move his hair due to his hands being glued to your hips.

One final hit to your g-spot and your body lunges forward. Your body shakes lightly as you cum all over him. He quickly pulls out and sprays his load on your stomach. His arms shake as he tries to hold his body up. You tuck back his hair to see his eyes glistening. You chuckle lightly as your chest heaves.

"I have never," he starts before taking a minute to breathe. "I've never felt so good," he chuckles before placing one of his hands to his chest.

"I can make you feel even better," you say as you sit up. He looks confused before you push him to lay on the couch.

"W-What are you-Ah!" He moans as you put your lips around his tip. You can see the shiver run down his body. "Wait, wait, wait, fuck!" He tries to squirm out of your hold but he ends up moaning and throwing his head back. Your hand is around the base of his cock while the rest is in your mouth. His fresh semen tingled on your tongue. Jiung grabs your hair as you roll your tongue around his sensitive tip. He swallowed hard and whimpered quietly.

You twisted your hand up and down from his base to your lips, bobbing your head as well. Due to all the blowjobs your ex wanted you were basically an expert with no gag reflex. "Y/N-ah, please god," he rambled nonsense as you started going faster. The orgasm he just had hasn't fully settled yet which made him extra sensitive and prone to cumming early. Your goal was to make him cum back to back and by the looks of it, it was going good. He tugged your hair one last time before cumming in your mouth.

You slipped your lips off of his tip and watched as he came on his stomach. Just like he did to you. You smirked and swallowed the semen in your mouth. He threw his head back and relaxed. You licked up his stomach and sent shivers down his spine.

"You little-!" Jiung tried to sound angry at you for not giving him any warning for giving the best blow and hand job but in reality, he was seeing stars. You smiled up at him with some of his cum dripping down your lips. His heart skipped a beat and he sighed. "Don't look at me like that, I'm still gonna get back at you," he said as you laid down on the couch, stretching. "Don't act so coy with me!" He grumbled before picking you up swiftly. He rolled you over on your stomach and you decided to comply with whatever he was doing. He lifted your hips into the air as you grabbed onto the armrest for support.

He spread your folds and licked up your pussy. You jumped and covered your mouth, the sudden motion catching you off guard. You then hear the leather couch squeak as he goes on his knees. He then smoothly pushes his dick inside you. You moan loudly and grab onto the armrest. This new position made every inch of your desperate cunt more sensitive. He started to thrust into you relentlessly. You moaned out mercilessly, it was like you couldn't stop yourself. Every time he thrusted back into you your voice cracked.

"You like that you little slut?" He grunted as he continued pounding into you. You nodded your head with a whimper. "Hm? I couldn't hear you, use your words baby," he smirked. 5 seconds ago he was whimpering beneath you but bow he was in charge of you.

"Y-Yes!" You shouted into the empty living room.

"Anytime you think about running back to that dick head remember this hey?" He snickered before pulling your hair back. You whimpered with a little nod. "How deep inside you I am, how I just abuse your little pussy," he groaned before letting go of your hair, drawing his attention to your hips. Grabbing them to move you up and down his length even faster.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck! I'm c-close," you stammer out as you claw at the couch.

"Your not gonna cum until I tell you," he cooes in his velvet voice that makes your legs shake. At this point he's pounding your G-spot so hard it's moving the couch. You don't know how much longer you can handle this denial and degradation. Tears poke at your eyes, your hair a mess in your face but you're too distracted by his cock buried inside you to care.

"Can I cum!? Please!" You whine breathlessly. Jiung stays silent before finally replying.

"Cum now," he says raspily. He continues to thrust rhythmically as you cum which causes you to squirt all over the couch. You moan loudly before biting your lip. This rush tips Jiung over the edge as well, his cum fills you up as your body shakes. He pulls out of you carefully and you lose all strength in your body. You lay down on the couch and Jiung lays on top of you, hugging you. "Did you just?" He asks in a soft voice. You nod your head.

"Sorry about the mess," you flutter your eyes shut and rest your head down.

"No, no, don't worry about it," he says as he pats your head. He kisses your head and plays with your hair. Jiung looks at the strawberries on the table. He reaches for the package and opens it up. He picks out a strawberry. "Open~" he hums as he holds in above your mouth.

#p1harmony #p1harmony smut #p1h jiung #p1harmony scenarios #p1harmony imagines #choi jiung #p1harmony jiung #jiung #p1harmony fluff #requests #request #kpop smut #kpop fanfic #fanfic

[oingomyboingos]

Franziska Miles Phx and Spock and Mccoy for the send me a character ask

@matsuorka omg this is so late rip. I kept running out of steam so I only did the aa ones—hope that’s okay!!

Franziska

fav thing: SO MANY THINGS! the potential for her to have an INCREDIBLE arc about recovery from abuse by struggling with her relationship between perfection and the choice between forging her own future or her father’s future. her being trucy‘s aunt—spoiling trucy rotten and seeing a softer, more protective side of her. how much she loves miles and looks up to him, but would never say it.

least fav thing: the games forgetting her after aa2!! there’s so many fun relationships she could have that we’re being deprived of! my fav potential ones are her being a support for klavier to lean on after kristoph is executed (she’s been thru it before with mvk and is one of the only people who can provide true empathy there) and her friendship with simon (which I wrote about in another post here)

fanon pet peeve: not all, but MOST of the franmaya tagged fics on ao3 are for background franmaya in a wrightworth fic. it drives me insane as someone who just desperately wants to see these two lesbians together. i LOVE wrightworth too!! but sometimes being a wlw seeking wlw content in fan spaces makes me wanna scream 🙃

Miles

fav thing: again, SO MANY THINGS! His complicated relationship with guilt, self loathing and atonement after aa1 is super compelling to me (and something i super hardcore relate to with the ex catholic guilt). I think he’d have a really hard time figuring out the difference between atoning for his mistakes and punishing himself for them. like franziska, I love that he invents his own future after being told what he ought to be by mvk for so long. beyond his general character arc, I also LOVE his friendship with maya (steel samurai nerds 5ever <3) and adore the many fics i’ve read where they run steel samurai discords, tumblrs, ao3 accounts, and attend cons together, often never knowing that they’re interacting with each other in these fan spaces bc they’re Big Dumb ™ (and overly proficient at compartmentalizing bc of the #trauma)

least fav thing: this is more of a complaint with canon than him as a character, but I wish we knew more about his life in the period after the 4th grade trial and before the fawles trial. Also about his life during the 7 year gap. which is probably why these are the periods of time I mostly read/write fic about lol.

fanon pet peeve: I genuinely hate that so many fan voice actors cast him with a british accent. I know it’s just “default posh” but the man’s from japanifornia & germany lol. ALSO when fanon makes him into a twink. like, have you SEEN his sprite? the man has a brick wall for a torso. solid. huggable. though don’t let anyone else know the formidable chief prosecutor is a softie who gives out hugs to his giant gaggle of adopted children, it’ll ruin his austere image

Phoenix

fav thing: HUMAN WRECKING BALL OF A MAN I LOVE HIS STUPID ANTICS AND PASSION!! Eating the poison necklace, getting hit by a car, falling through a burning bridge... Most of these have to do with his dedication to someone he loves—and when he loves something or someone, he goes in with all his heart!! I also just love how fucking smart he is which I talk about here.

least fav thing: I really don’t like phoenix’s characterization (or character model) in aa5. first off, the character model is so fuckign ugly, dead fish eyes ew. I haven’t played aa6 yet, but to me aa5 is a huge misstep for the franchise. the game gave us the format change of 3D art, rather than adding in the format change it promised at the end of the game. where’s the MASON/juror system he worked so hard on? don’t get me wrong, it gave me things I love (athena and simon and aura), but at the cost of tanking the progress with phoenix’s character arc. and phoenix taking the lead sometimes really diverts needed energy away from apollo and ESPECIALLY athena.

fanon pet peeve: I have a few that irk me with phoenix.

that people characterize him as stupid when he outsmarted kristoph

people make him an incompetent cook. phoenix is someone who goes through money troubles frequently, and I think bc of that he’s had to learn how to cook at least decently well. I personally think he gives apollo and athena masters classes on how to cook on a budget (like, he has a packet drawer like the guy on buzzfeed who does the budget recipes) and everyone’s like “mr wright thank u but please take some well paying cases and quit the pro bono for a sec you deserve to not have to think about this” and phoenix promptly ignores it bc, again!! his heart is too big for his got damn chest!!!

i’m not naming names but there are some popular pre-wrightworth fics i’ve read that have phoenix get jealous of apollo and klavier getting together. I just can’t get behind it. phoenix is apollo’s dad figure. romantic jealousy? it’s bad, bud.

thank you for the ask!! I had a lot of fun with these :3

#pls go read the miles and maya steel samurai besties fics I linked they’re AMAZING #just jill’s stuff #💌 #ace attorney #miles edgeworth #franziska von karma #phoenix wright

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #421

“hunted by hundreds and never to be caught  /  descent to wander, bring terror and take 'em all beyond”

Which do you prefer, donut holes, jelly filled donuts or normal donuts? Normal donuts. When you get old, are you going to make a will? I mean probably. Ever made your own definition for something on Urban Dictionary? No. What do you call your grandparents? "Grammy" and "Grampa." Do you like weddings? Not especially because I'm a bitter fuck. Do you want to live in a dorm in college? I never wanted to, so I never did. Have you ever had your tonsils taken out? No. Are you single/taken/crushing/confused? Single/confused. Is your best friend single? Yes. Is your first real best friend still there for you? I mean we have one another on Facebook, but that's the extent of it. Do you still care for your first love? Very much. I hope he's doing okay since his mother passed. What color is your blanket? Navy with black swirls. Are you listening to music right now? Yes. I am obseeeeeessed with Alissa White-Gluz's cover of Powerwolf's "Demons Are a Girl's Best Friend." Have you ever felt as if you lost your one true love? I feel like that all the time. But I should add that I don't believe there is JUST ONE person designed for you. There are way, way too many people on this earth to have just a single, perfect match. Which do you like better: Bowser, Mario, Luigi, or Princess Peach? Well I mean I always picked Luigi in Mario Kart, so I got a bias, ha ha. How many tattoos do you have? Six. Plenty, PLENTY more to come, though. Would you ever consider getting a mohawk? No. What do you like to do most in your free time? Do random shit on the computer. What’s your work title? Unemployed. Do you pay rent? I don't. What was the reason behind the last time you wore a bandage? I cut my finger opening up a cup of yogurt. Yes, I'm serious. What music artist have you listened to a lot lately? Powerwolf, lately. And Motionless In White. Who is taller, you or your best friend? Me. When was the first time you ever listened to your favorite music artist? Well, as a little kid, Mom would play some Ozzy in the car occasionally, and I actually loved "Perry Mason" so much that I would ask for her to play it. Growing up I'd obviously heard "Crazy Train" through random things, but I never truly listened to him until I got into middle school and went through my mother's CD case, discovering new music as I got into rock and metal. Do/did your siblings cause trouble? Nah, not really. If your siblings are old enough, what do they do for work? I honestly don't remember my half-siblings' positions, but my immediate younger sister is a children's social worker, and my older sis is a mammographer. Have you ever been jealous of your siblings? Jealous, no. Envious, extremely. They know what the hell they're doing with their lives and making shit happen. Do you still live with your parent/s or do you live alone/with a partner? I live with my mother. What feeling do you have the most difficulty in expressing? Jealousy. How do you think you would handle yourself in a crisis situation? Freeze up and probably die lol. Does any particular season make you happier than others? Why/why not? Yes, autumn. It's not hot as fuck, the air always feels so fresh to me, and I love the many colors of fall. It's just... chill. Can you adapt to change easily? Any examples? FUCK. NO. Do you see yourself as worthy of love? Why/why not? This answer can change from "yes, because I'm a good human" to "fuck no because I'm worthless" in 0.5 seconds. Do you think you are competitive? Do you really dislike losing? Not in general, but I can be in some areas. What would you be famous for? Fuck if I know. If you had to, would you rather dye your hair red or black? Red. I loved my hair when it actually took red dye well. What do you typically do on Easter Day? Go to my older sister's house. Have you ever viewed the moon through a telescope? No. Do you normally finish one book before starting another? Always. If you were given the chance to be immortal, would you take it? Heeeeeell no. Would you pierce your nipples for $100? Almost certainly yes; I mean that's $100 for something I can just take out if I don't like it. Have you ever dated someone who had a child? No. Would you ever consider adoption? Even if I wanted a child, no. I know I would need either the blood connection or for the child to be my partner's that I truly love. Do you tend to go for guys/girls with certain eye/hair colors? No, I really don't care how you look on the outside. Do you know anyone who plays guitar? Yes. Do you live within an hour of the ocean? More like two hours. What are you currently sitting/laying on? My bed. Have you ever dated a friend of one of your siblings? No. Did you have an imaginary friend as a child? An imaginary wolf, yeah. Which parent do you look most like? My mom, I think. Ever failed a test? Yes. That's all I did in algebra during my last college attempt. Do you have any friends who are famous? No. Your most recent ex breaks down and tells you they love you, what do you do? Well I know she loves me as a friend, but idk if she still does romantically, but either way, I'd tell her I love her too and ask if I can do anything for her. You and your last ex: who should hate who? Neither of us. We have a perfectly fine relationship. Do you believe you pick who you fall in love with? Definitely not. Last thing you ate? I had a peanut butter sandwich for breakfast. Are you obsessed with someone? *discreetly eyes Markiplier* If you had to write a brief message on a dollar bill that many people would eventually see as the currency circulates, what message would you write? I'd have to think longer on this, but definitely something about not putting so much worth into the money and not allowing greed to rule the individual. What serves as the greatest motivation for you in your daily life? The hope for a happy, prosperous future. If you were a multimillionaire, what do you believe you would be doing at this very moment? Well, it's morning and this is my prime time to really just chill and do my first scope of the Internet, so I'd probably be in a beautiful house in the woods of the mountains by a beautiful waterfall. I'd have the windows down to listen to nature, make sure via AC if necessary that it's cool... Damn, that sounds nice. If you could have a cookie jar full of anything you wanted, except money or cookies, what would it be full of? Hm. Perhaps a very motivational quote that I'd draw each day, kind of like fortune cookies, but actually good and applicable, ha ha. If someone were looking for you in a bookstore, in what section would they be most likely to find you? YA or fiction. If your ex came up to you and asked you to take them back, what would you say? Anyone but Jason or Sara would be an automatic "no." Jason would have to really prove himself. Sara, I'd be willing, but would ask her if that's what she really wants given our positions right now. Do you think Ke$ha is annoying? I don't know anything about her personally. I actually liked her music back in the day, even when I was all about metal. Last time you were hit on? No idea. Do you ever write in pencil any more? I always do if I have that option. I don't like that you can't erase with a pen. If you HAD to get a piercing (not ears) what would you get? At this current time, my right nostril again. What do you wish you had more knowledge about? Politics. Would you ever get someone's name tattooed on you? Noooo. Do you have a lot of scars? Yes. I scar very easily. Have you ever had stitches? Twice. Have you ever dealt with a divorce or parents fighting or any kind of abuse at home? Before my parents divorced, there was a lot of fighting. Do you remember the person you first kissed? Of course I do. Have you ever kissed someone you weren’t dating? No. Who was the last person you fell asleep with? Sara. Have you ever listened to music you hated just to fit in? "Hated," no. I just tried to get into bands that I just couldn't, but didn't hate. Ever been called babe? Yeah. What is your favorite Pop-Tart flavor? Chocolate sundae. Have you ever made your parents cry? Yeah, sadly. Do you wear glasses? Yeah. And yet I'm still blind with 'em. Have you ever made out with somebody on a bed? Yeah. Are you tan? Most definitely not. How did you meet the last person you texted? She kinda like, gave birth to me. Next big event? My nephew's fifth birthday. Ugh, how is he getting that old. Do you think you have to be skinny in order to be beautiful? Fuck off, no. There are some gorgeous/attractive plus-sized people. Have you ever made out on a couch? Yes. Has the last person you kissed ever seen you cry? Oh god, she witnessed me sob once. Would you ever get gauged ears? I want very small gauges in my bottom earlobe piercings. What is your favorite sushi? Ew. Have you ever been in a school talent show? What for? Noooo sir. What were you like at 17? Oh god... so sad and yet so happily, madly in love at the same time. I both love and hate that era. Tell us about your worst date. Haven't really had a bad one. I had one with Tyler that was an adventure that most would consider awful (flat tire, had to walk in the whipping wind), but I had fun, ha ha. What should be illegal that isn’t already? I dunno. What’s the song you most wish you had written? Probably John Lennon's "Imagine." What is the worst break up you have experienced? Y'ALL KNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW. Do your parents wish you were more successful? Oh, I am CERTAIN they do. They'd never admit it, I'm sure, but I know I'm disappointing. I had so much promise in school. Has a significant other called you unattractive before? WOW, no. Has a significant other ever called you by the wrong name? omg no Have you ever caught someone doing something bad? Cheating on their bf, yes. Has a dentist ever screwed up on anything when working on you? No, I don't think so. What is the worst birthday you have ever had? My 16th. I felt very, very unloved. I don't even like going into it. Have you ever been spit on by a llama? No. Have you ever locked yourself out of your car/house? The house, yes. With my elderly dog with arthritis, in the middle of winter after a good snow. I was freezing, sitting on the front porch and eventually crying. My phone was inside so I couldn't reach my mom, who was at work. As night came, I finally broke and went down the street knocking on my neighbors' doors, and probably the worst fucking one opened. With a gun in his hand. He was apparently an ex-sheriff, and he clearly didn't trust me. He was kind enough to let Teddy, who was incontinent and marked territory, inside (thank fuck he didn't pee in the guy's house), and he gave me a jacket, but Christ, we played 20 goddamn questions to see if I was legit, I'm assuming. I was beyond thankful when Mom finally got there when I used his phone to call her. And as it turned out? The door wasn't even fucking locked, our old dog just jammed the hell outta it by jumping. I was so, so pissed.

#survey #surveys #random questions #lyrics: ''beast of gévaudan'' by powerwolf

[wholeanimal]

Quietly Shitty Men

“There is a specific type of person who will siphon the gas right from you because they’ve never learned how to shine their own light.” My ex is engaged.  That shouldn’t bother me, should it?  Oh, but it does.  It bothers me because I saw it coming.  Tell me, what makes a woman “crazy”? Is it when she follows her own instincts? Or is it when she suppresses them? Is she crazy for sensing something is wrong, or crazy for acting like it?  It would be one thing if this was someone new. Good luck and God bless.  It would be another if he said, at any point in the relationship, how he felt. That he was anxious or nervous or angry or scared or hurt or apprehensive or lost. You know, feelings.  I can’t blame a person for having feelings. Had he stepped up and said “you know what, I can’t stop thinking about my ex, I want to give it another try with her.”  That would have been fine. Not in the moment, but nine months later, I wouldn’t be feeling like this. Feeling like I’ve just clicked the last piece of the puzzle into place. 

It wasn’t me. It was, obviously, never me.  I wouldn’t still be putting myself back together after riding the world’s shittiest, least exciting roller coaster.  I wouldn’t be having nightmares that I was somehow still dating him, still subjected to his unfortunately not unique brand of emotionlessness and quiet disdain. Like I was the freak for feeling.  When things were really, truly over, that’s when I learned the most about who he was. I remember sitting at the kitchen counter, having a silent panic attack, wondering where I was going to live, what I was going to do, how I was going to make this all work. The pandemic and riots had hit my neighborhood hard, and I was trying to imagine starting life over when everything else was figuratively and literally crumbling.  Granted, I can’t remember the conversation word-for-word, but this is my best attempt.  “What’s going on?”  “Nothing, I’m just freaking out.” “Why?” “I have to move. I have to start over. I have to figure out so many things.” “Yeah, well...” “What?” “I just don’t know why you’re so upset.” “Are you fucking serious?” “Yeah. I don’t know why you have to have so many emotions.”  “Do you mean now, or in general?” “In general.” I was about ready to fly apart.

“You don’t...understand...why I have EMOTIONS?”  ”Yeah. I guess I just don’t see the point.” I don’t remember much after that. I remember going back upstairs and crying so hard I vomited. So much made sense: it wasn’t that he couldn’t empathize with me. It’s that he saw no value in it. Only his emotions were valid. Anything beyond that was simply not worth caring about. It was chilling, and nauseating, and heartbreaking. My heart broke many times over the course of the month I spent living there after we decided to part ways. I had several conversations like this, where I realized just how long I had been having a one-sided relationship. It also made me feel white-hot, clench-fisted RAGE. How DARE he?  NOTHING about his daily life would change. He would wake up in the same bed, go down the same set of stairs, putz around his merry fucking way. He wouldn’t have to spend a dollar or dime sorting out what came next. Me, on the other hand? I lost my job the same day I found my apartment.  I wanted to claw the paint from the walls I had meticulously restored. I wanted to splinter the floors I had paid to have refinished. I wanted to take all this hard work with me, somehow, to show that I had not truly given up everything. That I had something left. I’m not writing this for you to feel bad about me. I’m more than fine.  I’m not looking for words of encouragement. I don’t need them.  I want him, and other quietly shitty men, held accountable.  Nothing my ex did was actually abusive. It was juuuuust under the line, just enough for him to be able to walk away with his hands up, all “Guess it just didn’t work out!” And I know, I KNOW I’m not the only one.  He made me feel crazy and stupid and weak and small and pathetic. I contorted myself into impossible shapes, trying to make the relationship work. I did things he would never do, that I would never do again. I moved across the country. Twice.  I downplayed all the porn he watched. I pushed the fact that he had an active FetLife account out of my mind. I ignored my dealbreaker about being with a smoker - something he claimed he quit, then started up again in secret, then held against me when I called him out. Making me the bad guy.  It got so bad, I suspected I had R-OCD, or relationship-based OCD. That was my only explanation for how I was always so anxious and he was always so calm. It was MY fault that something felt off. He was aware of my tendency to blame myself, and used it against me. Then, he would get to be the patient, understanding boyfriend while I broke down again and again, hating myself for being so “weak.” I wasn’t weak. He was keeping me in the dark on purpose, because it was easier to do that than to, I don’t know, be fucking honest?! 

Every time I got really bent out of shape, when the little slights and coldness and disdain had built up to a breaking point, he would let me say (or scream) my piece, and respond: “You’re right.”  Wow. Thanks!  I see now that you don’t have to do much work on yourself when you just agree with the person who is upset with you.  I’m also not writing this to paint myself as an angel. Yes, I was frustrated and confused and upset, which came out in outbursts of tears and anger. But the difference is, I was trying to connect with him in everything I did.  He was trying to push me away. it dawned on me, during one of those horrible post-breakup conversations, that he had fully checked out many months ago. I finally asked him to define a phrase I had heard him use during couples counseling (another suggestion of mine). “What do you mean by ‘I’m deeply invested in your happiness?’” “What?” “Well, like an investment, do you mean time, money, emotions? Or do you just want me to be ok?” “Yeah, that.” “Ok. so you just want me to be “okay”.” I’ll take “Performative Allyship” for 200! I’ve told myself I should have known. Should have left sooner. Should-ing myself to death, sparing him from any fault. Remember, he’s the long-suffering partner of an overly sensitive woman. Another wince-worthy excerpt from couples counseling: Our therapist asked us, at the end of a session, to each tell the other something we loved about the other person. I turned, with tears in my eyes, and told him I appreciated how consistent he was. I was always able to count on him being stable and calm.  He told me he liked how nice and clean I kept the house.  Cool! He could have saved himself about six months of this bullshit if he had just spoken his mind. I wonder, now, if he even had the capacity. But no, he preferred to wait and let me figure it out on my own, until I was so depleted that I was having almost nonstop migraines. But, just like the sibling who can’t get into trouble because they’re “NOT ACTUALLY TOUCHING YOU!!!”, nothing he did was exactly abusive.  But it was plenty shitty.  Mr. Social Justice. Mr. Feminism. Mr. Don’t Comment On That Topic Or I’ll Shut Down Emotionally. Mr. We Have To Move Away From Montana For Vague Reasons Including Racial Tension Which I Never Actually Experienced But That’s Reason Enough For Me!  And when we got to Philadelphia, it was Mr. Why Don’t You Take More Walks Outside Even Though You Get Harassed and Followed? You’re In The House Too Much (Yeah, Even Though It’s a Pandemic).  He’d spend hours on the phone talking to the nurses he helped at work. But when a woman in need lived in his own house, ew, gross! Too close to home!  There’s a line in a very funny Chris Fleming song called the “Grad Student Shuffle”, which takes the absolute piss out of white male graduate students. A few of the lines apply, but these especially: Call yourself a community organizer Even though you’re not on speaking terms with your roommates! Stand tall and look mindful Even though you're addicted to porn! C'mon! Now close your eyes Say fair enough "Fair enough" Now you are doing the Grad Student Shuffle I’ve gone back and added to this post a bunch of times since I wrote it. I like having a record, even if it’s one-sided. I realize I’m writing this as much for myself as I am for anyone else. To put my story down somewhere, and not to be too concerned if it’s fair or balanced. What happened to me wasn’t fair or balanced.  Which reminds me of the worst confrontation we ever had.  It was just an hour or two after we decided to break up. It was a sad, but quiet conversation. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t relieved. I went upstairs to let the new reality soak in, and asked if I could steal a puff from his vaporizer. Not weird, right? What was weird was that I felt like a guest in his room. We kept separate bedrooms, which I highly recommend to any couple who can spare the space. But there is a difference between having the option of separate spaces, and feeling relegated to separate spaces. I didn’t feel welcome in his room, and he made no secret of it.  So, as usual, I asked to go in.  He had left his laptop open on the bed, and I stared off into space as I waited for the vaporizer to heat. I must note, here, that I am not a person who digs. I will run circles in my own brain, but by and large, i leave stuff alone. So I didn’t go looking for what was already on the screen, which was a conversation between him and his best friend.  I read maybe a couple sentences before realizing, oops, probably shouldn’t. It was enough to see one exchange, less than two hours after we had officially broken up. “That sucks, man. How long do you think til you’ll be back on Tinder?” “I don’t know. Probably before she moves out.”  I’d like to say I don’t remember what happened next, but I do remember. I marched down two flights of stairs, yanked two giant plastic bins out of basement storage, and rage-packed everything I owned outside of my own room in less than ten minutes. 

He, of course, had no idea. Nuanced as a fucking turtle, he told me he was going out for a walk, and then asked if something was wrong.  I let him have it. Everything that had been building inside of my body came spewing out, all at once. I stumbled over my own words, laughing-crying-screaming-asking him what the fuck he was thinking, who the fuck he was, and what the fuck was this relationship? Was any of it even REAL?  He had nothing to say.  And that, my friends, was my main mistake. Thinking anything I could ever do could ever get a reaction out of him. Could ever draw the sort of love or support or attention that I used to get from him, before he decided to turn off the tap. 

I spent another month there until I could finally move out. I could tell he was annoyed that I was still there. I remember telling him people aren’t disposable. They don’t disappear when you decide you’re done with them. Thirty days was the absolute minimum I could manage, and even that was an incredible feat.  He asked me to watch the dog, the one he adopted only a couple of months before, while he went out. I remember thinking, “Am I watching this animal so he can go out on dates? No fucking way.” I still don’t know, and I’m glad I don’t. 

He’s not the only quietly shitty guy. There are many. I’m sure bunches of them are being congratulated on their engagements or promotions right now, by people who have never dated them. Have never had the soul-wrenching realization that oh, this person who told you you were their dream and their angel and their moon and stars actually decided like a year ago that they just weren’t feeling it and didn’t have the balls to tell you.  But, feel free to question reality in the meantime! 

Women reading this, beware. There are men who hold up their hands and shrug and say shit like “I wish her the best” and know to use phrases like “emotional labor” to fake enough self-knowledge to start a relationship that they don’t know how to finish.  I encourage you to ask questions. Find out how much they know about themselves. How long their relationships tend to last. If their friends really know them. If they change jobs frequently. If they move states frequently, and why.  But most of all, know yourselves. Know that you deserve to have your questions answered, your emotions validated, and your opinions heard. There are plenty of quietly shitty men to choose from.  You don’t need to choose one. 

[drake-the-incubus]

1-50. Your turn >:3

1. Think of the last person who said I love you, do you think they meant it?

I hope so! Hey @hero-of-bowerstone do you love me?

2. Would you date an 18-year-old at the age you are now?

I’m turning 22 and have done nothing with my life. It depends. I don’t really know many 18 year olds.

3. When’s the last time you were aggravated and happy at the same time?

Re-reading my favourite book series a couple of days ago. Menoetius please love yourself more my baby, my child. Also writing my last fic is probably sooner. Cause Xiphrus needs love.

4. Would you ever smile at a stranger?

Uh… how the fuck do people smile?

5. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are?

Uh yeah. He’s blocked and hopefully will leave me the fuck alone.

6. Have you heard a song that reminds you of someone today?

Uh not really. I have tailored playlists.

7. What exactly are you wearing right now?

A t-shirt, shorts and underwear? I need to change actually but that requires a shower and I’m too lazy to get that ready :/

8. How often do you listen to music?

24/7. Unless I’m watching a video/video calling, I’m constantly listening to music. When I say I’ve listened to a song for a week straight, it’s likely the song has been looped… for a week straight.

9. Do you wear jeans or sweats more?

Sweats, jeans fucking suck and cause issues I’d rather not deal with.

10. Do you think your life will change dramatically before 2013?

I mean the year already passed but back then I was going into 7th I think? If you mean the turn of this year, yeah I fucking do look at the world.

11. Are you a social or an antisocial person?

Anti-Social. I don’t like spending time with people too much and need a lot of alone time. That being said I crave attention from friends.

12. Have you ever kissed someone whose name begins with the letter ‘A’?

I don’t know? I’ve kissed a lot of people I have forgotten bc of truth or dare. Not that I recall.

13. What about ‘R’?

See the same as above.

14. Can you drive a stick shift?

No, and legally if I drive I’m going to be arrested as my learners expires soon and I a) have no glasses, b) can’t concentrate on the road to pass a driver’s test. Also why the fuck do people drive those, it’s… so unreliable.

15. Do you care if people talk badly about you?

If they’re not telling me to my face, yeah. If you have a problem with me, bring it up to me. I don’t like people talking behind my back. That being said, nah. Talk shit about me to my face all you want I don’t give a shit.

16. Are you going out of town soon?

I’m spending the next month in another province so the answer is, already out of town. I’ll be going out of this town quite often.

17. When was the last time you cried?

A few days ago I cried over Menoetius losing his fucking shit at love and then again when Joxeia was struggling.

18. Have you ever told someone you loved them?

Plenty of times. Then it got thrown back into my face almost the same amount.

19. If you could change your eye color, would you?

Yes and no. If I could have full heterochromia with a blood red eye I’ll fucking take it. That shit’s cool and I still love it. Otherwise only to make my own centerlized-heterochromia more distinct. (Blue/Green Split)

20. Is there a boy who you would do absolutely everything for?

My boyfriend? IG. I mean fictionally a lot of boys. IRL I don’t think I could do everything for anyone. Not my style.

21. Name something you dislike about the day you’re having.

I’m hungry and I can’t finish the series I’ve been waiting on bc scanlators dont have the final two chapters.

22. Is it cute when guys kiss you on your forehead?

No. Ew. It reminds me of what parents are supposed to do. Otherwise why’re you checking my fever? What’s the point?

23. Are you dating the last person you talked to?

Uh depends on what that’s defined as. I talked out loud, verbally to my boyfriend so yeah. Otherwise, no.

24. What are you sitting on right now?

A very uncomfortable arm chair/lazy boy type thing.

25. Does anyone regularly (other than family) tell you they love you?

My boyfriend. My friends. Also bold of you to assume my family tells me they love me.

26. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?

Yes, I want a lot of people. Fictional characters are nice, man. Otherwise kinda. On and off.

27. Who was the last person you talked to before you went to bed last night?

Staff on a server.

28. Do you get a lot of colds?

Yes! It fucking sucks because I sound like I’m dying MORE now.

29. Where is the shirt you are wearing from?

RTX 2018 when I went down there. Wish I could go again.

30. Does anyone hate you?

I would think, someone does, I'm not the most likeable person in the universe. I secretly think everyone does.

31. Do you have any empty alcohol bottles hidden somewhere in your room?

I should fucking hope not. If there is my boyfriend is going to have to answer some questions.

32. Do you like watching scary movies?

That’s my favourite movie genre.

33. Do you want your tongue pierced?

Ew no. Someone else does and I hate them for it. No that shit is… no. Good on other people but I know ppl who have had it and no.

34. If you had to delete one year of your life completely, which would it be?

Um… 2016 bc that ruined my life :)

35. Did you have a dream last night?

Fuck if I know. I woke up hungry and focused on that.

36. When was the last time you told someone you loved them?

Yesterday. My boyfriend.

37. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years?

I don’t know if I even want to be married, but given what’s going on if I’m not then my bf might cry? So I think yes if we get the finances.

38. Do you think someone has feelings for you?

Uh… my boyfriend. But otherwise? Yeah. I’m fairly aware a lot of people develop feelings for me. It kinda weirds me out bc 90% of the time it’s never romantic.

39. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?

Uh. Statistically speaking someone probably is.

40. Did you have a good day yesterday?

Nope. I don’t really think it was a net good or bad day.

41. Think back 2 months ago; were you in a relationship?

Yeah. We’re two years in September.

42. In the next 48 hours, will you hang out with a girl?

I currently share a house with my sister in law. We just had a conversation when I reached this question actually.

43. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you?

Yes and that brings up bad memories.

44. What’s the best part about school?

I got away from my abusive parents. Got to write in class. Met some friends. Uh. Learned about many things, people who’re 13 and spent five minutes learning about, argue with me on them. I learned how to write and use none of that knowledge now.

45. Do you have any pictures on your Facebook?

I wish I didn’t, but yeah because I had to upload things for my parents. Including images of before I was out as trans.

46. Do you ever pass notes to your friends in school?

Yup. Pretty common past time.

47. Do you replay things that have happened in your head?

Obsessively. So much so I’ve caused issues. So now I keep fictional worlds going as a coping mechanism.

48. Were you single over the last summer?

Nope. Won’t be this one either,

49. Is your life anything like it was two years ago?

Hahaha. Fuck no and im glad for it. Not with my parents, not struggling with other issues, not with my ex. Shit’s baller.

50. What are you supposed to be doing right now?

Probably writing a fanfic or planning a book. Cleaning. Could use a shower. Will I do any of these? Probably not, my boyfriend jacked my PC.

#ask game #lol this was p easy to do #long post

[darkangeldesignstudio]

Mother’s Day

Negan x Reader

Honestly, writing this story was hard. The angst was real and the PTSD was not fun to deal with, but I feel like sharing this story with you all has made me stronger in the long run and I hope you all enjoy it. Remember, if you are ever going through something like this or know someone who is, talk about it, ask for help and know in your heart that, no matter what happens. YOU ARE STRONG!!

Summary: When the world ended, you used it to escape a living hell. Later, found yourself a place to call home in Alexandria. You  and your two children were welcomed into the community and you soon found a friend in the reformed soul of a prisoner named, Negan. Your relationship grows steadily over time and he becomes an irreplaceable part of your family, but when a nightmare from the past rears its ugly head, will your love be enough to keep you alive?

Warnings: Negan’s foul language (as usual), implied smut, talks of mental and physical abuse towards children and women, threats of sexual assault, violence, and death.

Chapter 3

Once every fall, after the harvests were brought in, the communities would host a fair for trading supplies and food and celebrating another year together with friends and families. This year, Alexandria was set to host the fair within its walls.

Everyone was milling around the town, celebrating with food and drink as more people came to join in the festivities. One caravan, carrying passengers from the Hilltop was parking on the streets when you and Nik walked past. You weren't paying much attention to the people around you, more intent to listen to your son's happy ramblings as you went to meet up with Negan, Pat, and Judith.

You felt a chill run the length of your spine, eyes were watching you from somewhere and the sensation was not pleasant. You looked up slowly, trying not to draw attention to yourself, and caught a glimpse of a man standing off to the side. He was leaning against the wagon, head turned away from you as if he was trying hard not to be seen, but he seemed somewhat familiar to you.

After a moment, he turned his face towards you and you froze in fear. It was your ex, Bryan, looking at you with a menacing smile on his face. How was he alive? How did he find you here? And where the hell was Negan?

Quickly, you turned back in the direction you were headed and looked around for Negan. By the time you spotted him, you were on the verge of a massive panic attack. Your eyes connected with Negan's and his face hardened. You shook your head when he took a step in your direction.

Pressing your hand into Nik's back, you pushed him in Negan's direction. “Honey, could you tell Negan to meet me at the gazebo?”

“Sure, mom. Don't forget about singing with everyone tonight.” You smiled at his excitement despite your inner turmoil, he always seemed to bring a smile to your face.

“I won't forget.” You nudged him once more, ushering him forward quickly before turning towards the gazebo.

You stayed vigilant as you went to meet with Negan. Luckily, or maybe unluckily, you didn't see your ex skulking around again before you reached your destination. You only had to wait a moment before Negan's gruff voice greeted you.

“What the fuck is going on? You looked like you saw a ghost back there.” You rolled your eyes at his language, you just couldn't help yourself, but the moment was short lived as you remember what you saw.

“He's here. I don't know how he found us, but he's here and I don't know what to do.” You were almost hysterical by the time you finished. There was no need to say any names, Negan knew who “he” was and what it meant for you.

“That son of a bitch comes anywhere near you or the kids and I will kill him. I don't care if they throw me back in that cell for it, I will fucking gut him like the little cowardly bitch he is.” His fists were clenched so tightly that you feared he would punch the gazebo's support posts in his rage and the last thing you needed was for him to be hurt.

Slowly you took his hand in yours, bringing it up to your face. His palm slowly opened to engulf the side of your face and you settled your cheek softly into his hand. That touch alone was enough to calm your heart and his.

“WE will protect them, Negan. By any means necessary.” Your eyes hardened as you gripped the back of Negan's hand. “I will not let him torment me ever again and no one would put you back in that cell for protecting me.”

A wicked smirk filled Negan's face, his eyes crinkled at the corners when it grew into a full and beaming smile. “There's my bad ass girl. I was starting to think I had lost her.”

He chuckled when you rolled your eyes at him again, but you smiled none the less. Standing on your toes, you planted a swift kiss on his lips before patting his chest. “Come on, lets find the boys. I want to keep an eye on them until we can be sure that asshat has left Alexandria.”

Negan's wrapped his arm around your shoulders and squeezed you gently in reassurance “Don't worry honey, the kids are with safe with Michonne right now. I'll tell her what's going on when we get there and she will put the guards on alert. The boys never have to know he was ever here.” His lips pressed softly to the top of your head as you walked back to where the kids were and Negan pulled Michonne to the side to do just that. Despite the danger, you felt safer with his assurances.

The fair continued without incident and you began to think you had just imagined seeing Bryan there in the first place, he never approached you or the kids. You weren't sure if it was because someone made him leave or he just didn't care all that much about you all anymore, either way, you were relieved

Until, just as you were walking towards the stage, you realized both of your assumptions were incorrect. He was yards away from the stage, smiling right at you despite the two guards standing at his back. You did your best to ignore him, Negan was with the kids in the crowd and, even if he could shake his guards, there were far too many people around for him to approach. Raising your chin in a sign of confidence, you walked quickly onto the stage, determined to power through your fear.

You sang together with some of the other men and women from the communities The songs were fun, nostalgic, and they made you forget about your ex for the moment. The last song of the night was all yours and you sang it with all of your heart, showing Bryan that he couldn't keep you down. Negan beamed at you with pride filled eyes and you gave him a saucy wink before walking off stage to join him.

A few people stopped to offer you praise for how much of a great time they had had watching everyone sing together. Your friends hugged you quickly before going on their way and soon there was nobody standing between you and your family.

You walked quickly in their direction, but a figure off to your left made you pause. Bryan was leaning against the fence with no guard in sight, but you were running off an immense high from your performance and did the only thing you could think of in that moment. You flipped him the bird and smiled wickedly at him like that bad ass bitch that Negan claimed you to be. The anger on Bryan's face was priceless and gave you a thrill as you walked up to your family.

Negan smiled down at you knowingly. “Great job tonight babe. That was bad ass” From the look in his eyes, you knew that he wasn't just talking about your singing.

You giggled a bit at his grin, laughing out loud when you heard Judith scold him for his language. Negan, being the big softy that he was, apologized to the sweet girl before turning all three of the kids in Michonne's direction.

“Why don't you guys go to Michonne's for the night, I have to talk to your mom about something important.” Pat looked like he was going to protest until Nik piped in.

“Ew, that just means you are gonna go make kissy faces. Nobody wants to see that.” The kids all started to giggle and Negan outright laughed.

“What do you mean? My kissy faces are adorable.” The kids all laughed as Negan made a face like a fish at them promptly scattering in Michonne's direction when he swept you into his arms, dipping you over his arms and kissing you fully on the mouth. You laughed heartily all the way home, ignoring the eyes that followed you.

A short and silent walk got you home safely. Negan was tense and you were worried. About halfway to your house, you had begun to second guess your decision to mock your ex the way you did. What if he tried to get even?

“Stop thinking like that right now, [Y/N]. You stood up for yourself, never be fucking ashamed of that.” Negan's conviction made you feel a bit better. He was right, after all the shit Bryan had done to you in the past, you had the right to be strong.

“You're right. I'm just scared he will do something stupid that will get someone hurt. It wouldn't be the first time something like that happened.” You sighed as Negan's arms wrapped around your waist from behind you.

You could almost feel the evil smile on his face. “I'm looking fucking forward to seeing him try.”

Turning into Negan's body you wrapped your arms around his waist and relaxed into his chest. “Just promise me you wont get hurt.”

Negan's chuckle shook your body. “Who do you think I am doll? I'm no fucking novice when it comes to kicking ass babe. I mean, I may not have Lucille anymore, but I can still hold my own in a fight.”

You sighed internally at his cocky bullshit before looking up into his eyes. Reaching up to him, you cupped his face in your hands. “I know you can hold your own in a fight, Negan. I just worry sometimes. If anything ever happened to you....” You shook your head and looked away, it was too painful to even think about a world without Negan.

His fingers gripped your chin, forcing you to meet his eyes. “I know how you feel darlin. I would be just as damn devastated if something happened to you or the boys. I promise, I will be careful and nothing bad will happen to any of us, even if I have to go to Michonne and beg on my knees for her to do something.”

You smiled brightly up at Negan, tears burned the back of your eyes as you stretched up to meet him. “I love you, Negan.” You whispered those words against his lips just before you molded your body into his and took his mouth in a hot kiss that left you both gasping for air.

Negan looked at you with eyes full of heat and as he picked you up, you wrapped your legs tightly around his waist. “I love you too, [Y/N]. And don't you ever fucking forget it.”

Any other words spoken that night were accentuated by moans and sighs and impassioned screams as Negan showed you just how much you meant to him that night. You were his and he was determined to let the whole town know it by morning.

The next morning was quiet, everyone from the other communities had gone home or were readying to leave by the time you and Negan left your bed. Bryan was nowhere to be found and the kids never knew he had been there. Life went on.

#negan #twd negan #the walking dead negan #negan x reader #negan fanfiction #negan's thirst squad #negan's warm weather writing challenge

[psycho-slytherin]

Writers’ block (bonus chapter!)

Based on this request by @yoongi-sugaglider. Happy (late) birthday!!

Context: This scene takes place between chapters 22 and 23, while y/n is still living with the members.

Pairing: Yoongi x (female) Reader

Word count: 1.4k

|mlist|

Thud. Thud. Thud.

“Y/n, what are you doing?”

“I’m...” Thud. “Trying to,” Thud. “Motivate myself.” You have a huge creative writing assignment due next week and you can’t seem to come up with the will to even put words to paper.

“Hey, stop it, stop!” Yoongi catches your head before you can bash it against his coffee table again. “Please don’t get a concussion– I don’t want to have to bring you to the hospital at one in the morning.”

“I refuse to believe it’s one in the morning– that would imply I’ve been wallowing in my sorrows for half an hour.”

“But, but...” your friend sighs. “Can you not smash your face against the table? What if you get blood on it?”

“I can see where your priorities lie.”

Yoongi laughs. “I’m kidding. What do you usually do to motivate yourself?”

You gesture wordlessly at the coffee table.

“Okay– maybe don’t do that anymore. Trust me, you need those brain cells.”

You roll your eyes and flip him off. “It’s not like I use them anyways.” Yoongi takes the opportunity to grasp your outstretched hand and haul you to your feet. “Hey, what are you doing?” you complain as he pulls you to the door.

“Put on your jacket– we’re going for a walk.”

“Ew, exercise.”

“Humor me, will you?”

You sigh loudly for about ten seconds longer than you had to before following Yoongi out of the back door of the apartment, through the basement, and into the night.

“Brr...” you hug yourself as a gust of wind shocks you. “Why are we out here?”

“For one, to keep you from abusing our table. Secondly, we can’t talk loudly when the members are sleeping.” Yoongi shrugs. “I thought we could go to the lamppost.”

“You planning on walking halfway across Seoul?”

Yoongi grins, and at that moment the familiar sleek black car pulls up to the curb.

“Wait, how did you– when– what?” you sputter as Yoongi holds the door open for you. “Does this thing fucking teleport?”

“Don’t question it, y/n, just get in.”

You stick your tongue out at your friend and spend the several-minute car ride in comfortable silence. You need to write a twenty-page short story, and the length isn’t what’s intimidating; finding an idea that’ll last twenty pages is what’s killing you. More than that, you just can’t. You want to, but you’ve spent the whole afternoon staring at a blank screen that keeps getting blanker.

Writers’ block. You hate writers’ block. You’re so wrapped up in your thoughts that it takes Yoongi opening the door for you to realize the car has stopped in front of the solitary lamppost illuminating the lonely street.

“You okay? You seem really distracted,” Yoongi asks once the car has pulled away.

You laugh. “Distracted would be a blessing. Distracted means creative.”

“You said you needed motivation?”

“Yeah. I... I haven’t been able to write for, like, days. I don’t have ideas. And even when I don’t have ideas, usually I just start writing, you know? Just–”

You mime wild typing. “Doing that helps, but this time, I just can’t. And I hate it!” With a sudden burst of anger, you rear back and kick the lamppost. “Ow!”

“Y/n–”

But you can’t be stopped. “I don’t have any motivation even though I actually need to write for my grade! More than that, I really want to write, I love making up stories! So why the fuck–”

“Y/n.”

“I’m better than this! I shouldn’t have to deal with writers’ block, not if I’ve dealt with literally everything else. I dealt with my cheating ex, I dealt with my apartment flooding, the hospital, anxie–” you pause. “I don’t deserve this. Ugh!”

Yoongi’s leaning against the lamppost, arms crossed as he looks at you with careful fascination. “Are you done?”

“What?” you ask, annoyed. “Yes. Sorry to waste your time.”

“You’re not wasting my time, y/n. You’re wasting yours. Now c’mon, follow me,” Yoongi says, grabbing your hand and pulling you down the street, toward the heart of Seoul.

“What the- where are we going?” you yelp, stumbling as you follow him through twists and turns while the city lights get brighter.

“We’re letting those creative juices flow!” Yoongi pulls his mask up and his hat down, effectively erasing his identity once the quiet sidewalks become louder, and ring with bawdy laughter.

“Yoongs, it’s too risky! You’ll get caught!” you hiss as you pass two drunk giggling women clinging to each other.

Yoongi screeches to a stop, and you bump into him. “Where– oh my god, you’re kidding.”

“Nope!” You can hear the mischievous smile behind Yoongi’s mask. “We’re doing this.”

“Karaoke? Really?” you laugh as you follow him inside.

“One hour in a private karaoke room, please.” Yoongi hands the clerk some cash and soon enough you’re sitting in a big room, watching Yoongi fiddle with the mics.

“Alright,” Yoongi says, gesturing at the screen. “Pick your poison.”

“Dude, I can’t sing!” you protest.

Yoongi raises his eyebrows. “And you think I can?”

You think of all the Vlives, all the Bangtan Bombs, every song where his crooning voice, that whispered Suga has filled your ears. “Yes.”

“Well, you’d be wrong. C’mon, choose something.”

“Uh...” you select the first song you recognize and grip the mic clumsily. “Why are we doing this?”

“Just trust me, y/n. Let go.”

You take a deep breathe and start to sing along, cringing inwardly at your voice breaks and lack of tone.

“Woo! Go y/n!” Yoongi whoops at random intervals, causing you to laugh and forget the words. Soon you begin smiling as you sing, and belting out the words with new confidence. You’re having fun, real fun.

“Is this better than the coffee table?” Yoongi shouts over the instrumentals.

You do a spin, laughing as your hair flies in your face. “So much better. And,” you grin evilly as the song ends. “It’s your turn!”

“Ohhh no...” Yoongi covers his eyes as you advance toward him. “I’m definitely not doing that.”

You press your lips together and pout. “But Yoongs~”

Your friend relents easily in the face of your pout. “Alright, alright! What song should I pick?”

“Seesaw!” you squeal, pointing when you see it scroll across the scene. Yoongi rolls his eyes and smiles as he selects it, while you sit back in satisfaction. Your own personal concert with your own personal idol– what could be better?

Yoongi’s voice, raspy and thoughtful, floats throughout the room as he sings. Where you would usually sit in awe, you’re too giddy to stay still. You get up and–

“Y/n,” Yoongi bursts out laughing, interrupting the chorus. “What are you doing?”

“Your choreo!” you fire back, giggling as you roll your shoulders and hop around in a clumsy imitation of the dance you’ve seen him perform a thousand times, onscreen and in your dreams.

“You’re such a dingus.”

“Keep singing, nerd!”

Yoongi winks and joins you in dancing and singing along to his song– he keeps making funny faces that have you wheezing with laughter, until...

You freeze and gasp. “That’s it!” within yourself you feel a growing excitement, as though electricity were traveling down your arms and filling your fingers with energy. You need to write, need it more than you’ve ever needed anything, you’re desperate, itching to pour your soul onto the page. You fumble for your phone and type out nonsense stream-of-consciousness: Kidteenadult? Genre: murder, romance, drama? Not comedy ew wait murder isn’t a genre okay what if we wait main character strong female character what about swords antagonist?? Germaphobe maybe let’s name him Pierre nd he can have a pet ferret named Pierre Junior what if antag + protag = siblings? climax needs to–

“Y/n? Y/n. Earth to y/n!”

“Woah!” You look up and your eyes have to refocus like a camera lens as Yoongi waves a hand in front of your face. “Where did you come from?”

Yoongi smiles that perfect gummy smile of his. “I trust your motivation has returned?”

“Oh my god, has it ever! Thank you,” you cry, throwing your arms around your friend and hugging him tightly. “Thank you, thank you, thank you! You’re the best, Yoongi, you really are!”

“Heh, I won’t argue,” Yoongi replies, booping your nose. “Now c’mon, let’s get home– I have a feeling you’ve got a lot to do.”

#bts #bts oneshot #yoongi #suga #bts suga #bts yoongi #min yoongi #yoongi oneshot #suga oneshot #bts series #bts fluff #yoongi fluff #suga fluff #yoongi series #suga series #yoongi x reader #suga x reader #bts x reader #bts au #suga au #yoongi au

[leofcwler]

( austin butler, cismale ) did you hear how LEO FOWLER is applying to columbia university as a FORENSICS SCIENCE major ?! the 21 year old is living in the WATT HALL. i heard that they got in because they are + CHARISMATIC and +EFFERVESCENT, but honestly i think HE can be - CALLOUS and - RECKLESS. they’re a real ANOMALY. oh well, only time will tell if the JUNIOR will make it til the end. 

struts in thru a bead curtain w a martini in hand........... hlo everyone! i’m bri, n im a painfully awkward canadian 21 years of age!! i haven’t been in a group this big in wht feels like 1000 years n leo is a completely new char...... so im a wee bit intimidated bt?? ready to Party (the crowd goes wild). i have a habit of not sleeping so theres a chance im gna b on 24/7 wonks..... give this a like n i will come running to u naruto style to plot!!

TW: neglect, drugs/drug abuse, overdose, hospitalization

ABOUT LEO

aight so leo’s dad? real estate agent n his mom is a nurse. they live pretty average boring lives?? considering tht leo is like the opposite of Average or Boring he used to lie n say tht his dad was an astronaut lost in space and his mum was a mermaid at a freak show, so. however when he was 12 his parents suddenly divorced literally out of nowhere bc lo n behold leo’s dad was having an affair so........ guess he wasnt as boring as leo thought??

his mom moved out n he doesn’t rly see her a lot any more, she doesn’t rly kno wht to do w leo when she does see him?? he’ll go over and be like ‘im gonna JF kennedy trump’ n then his mom will burst into tears and start crying abt how this wasn’t the boy she raised it’s a whole gross mess so he stopped going over so tht she didn’t get sad n he didn’t get uncomfortable

his dad didn’t NEGLECT leo bt after the divorce he certainly didn’t take his time in caring abt his sons whereabouts n what not. leo had always been raised in a kind of carefree house anyway since his mom worked a bunch of random overnight shifts n what not n she was the more strict one, bt it got to the point where leo wld jokingly talk abt burning down the house to see how his dad wld react and all he’d get is a nod and asked to bring his dad another beer SO

he got kinda bored of trying to get his dads attention with no luck, so one day he ended up buying fireworks tht were COMPLETELY illegal from a vendor on the Sketchy Side Of Town and set them off outside of school...... he had expected to get into trouble n his dad wld have to do sommething abt it bt one of the fireworks ended up exploding and breaking several windows n leo got expelled big time

his dad kinda freaked bc the only other school in the super small town he grew up in was a pretty expensive private school tht he cld barely afford

leo hated it............ wld show up to school purposely out of uniform/wld graffiti the walls/did the most to get detentions jst so he cld stay later n avoid going home etc.............. one time he showed up after cutting the pants into shorts tht left almost nothing to the imagination n got suspended fr it

miraculously got into columbia bc even tho he fucked around in school he was actually quite smart?? cld have probably gotten a scholarship if he actually tried bt Trying jst isn’t leo’s style apparently

although he didn’t have too many friends growing up he did have a few tht he purposely hand selected bc he knew they were jst . not a good influence at all?? got him into the party scene in a pretty awful n intense way, he’d been hospitalized more than a handful of times fr alcohol poisoning n he even OD’ed on coke once which . made him realize tht maybe the whole Doing Coke For Fun At A Party thing was just an excuse now. the hospital offered to get him into a rehab program bt he refused to admit he had a problem even tho he still does coke jst a WEE BIT too much to this day

personality wise he’s kind of a lot to handle?? will turn around and insult u then b confused as to why ur offended he jst.......... doesn’t have a filter and also doesn’t realize he’s being rude cuz he was never rly taught to jst . calm down n think abt words before he says them

is waiting for aliens to come down and take over his body/the earth. a genuine believer in them n all things supernatural......... still thinks he’s possessed after a bad flu when he was 14

tbh he like to make ppl purposely uncomfortable sometimes . watching ppl squirm n blush? his fave thing

majoring in forensics science bc ?? he was obsessed with forensic files growing up and always wanted to be the person tht was like . “We found his fingerprints on the doorknob.”

ironically his star sign is leo

pansexual king.................... a mess when it comes to relationships he doesn’t rly know how to properly be in one bt he actually likes them. also likes to jst . sleep around when he can, being w ppl is kind of his fave thing bc he subconsciously doesn’t think ppl want him fr anything other than sex n stuff like tht it’s a mess

TENTATIVELY TOSSED TOGETHER WANTED CONNECTIONS

he does need some friends tbh

a bro he’s w 24/7?? aka Best Friend uwu

a girl he’s rly close w too bt everyone thinks they’re dating?? n they’re always like . ew thts weird

exes!! on bad and good terms............. Give It To Me

also fwb’s.............. needs lots of Those

someone who tutors him?? he has the attention span of a walnut so wld need help

ppl he deals to?? literally collects drugs jst to feel comforted by the fact tht he has them bt has WAY TOO MANY to take so he sells them when he can

enemies!! i figure he may have . a lot of these siodghoidg

unrequited crushes........... him to someone else or someone to him either way it Works

someone in general tht he is jst . head over heels fr............ disgustingly into to the point where he writes them trash poetry abt wanting everyone else on the earth to disappear so it cld b jst them n stuff

ANYTHING!! the world?? our oyster............

#columbiaintro #wipes the sweat from my brow #drugs tw #drug abuse tw #neglect tw #hospitalization tw #overdose tw #jeez louise #hope this isnt a MESS #sry if theres any mistakes.......... yolo! #like this n i will come to u wonks

[aowaowyogee-blog]

Road to redemption

Today I felt something in my heart . I was so happy and I haven’t been this fulfilled in a long time. I’ve always had a boyfriend. Like always. I think the longest I’ve gone without a boyfriend was a month. But I’ve been single for a while now . It makes a whole year . I feel like most of the time I was like a fish out of water. Pining , needing someone . But being so picky about it so I just keep pining and flipping out . But this week I really hit rock bottom in my usual misery . Honestly I thought I was doing really good the whole time . Going out. Making friends literally everywhere I go . Just genuinely being a good person with the grades hella popping at NYU. BUT YO this week I dead ass hit rock bottom . Not only did I hit one ex up . I hit two. And they told me I wasn’t good enough . Made me feel small . Like I was worthless. Like I didn’t mean anything. Why did I even call them ? For what ? But I cried in my car . For what felt like hours. Is that what I really am ? Worthless? I stopped crying and accepted yeah that’s me I guess but no one will see me cry. So the next day I went out with a friend who I normally don’t hang out with. I was hesistant to go since I wanted to baby my wounds BUT OH MY GAWDDDD. I had such a good time. I’m documenting this and pray no one sees it so I can come back and look at it but yooooooooooooo. When I say I’m that bitch. Like I really am that bitch .

We went out and we were drunk from the get go. I mean seven shots will do it... I probably peed a million times but we went to a place called the brass monkey . Super boujie bar in ny. And when I say these girls know how to finesse their way through the city .... oh meh god. First off. To not wait on line they stalked a promoter online . “Bumped into him” and then became friends / make him think they’ll fuck one day. He got us in with no line. I was in shock walking past everyone . Like errrr meh god . Looking at them like bye peasants . Go in turnt af . And we start dancing . We saw the brown boy just going offfff and my friend looks at me and says. Which one you want? I didn’t see any I liked so I had told her none sis. We both looked at the silly brown guy and said definitely not him . I mean nothing was wrong with him. He was attractive . And tall (enough) but what a dork . I whispered in my friends ear. I bet his name is Vickram . She said I dare you to ask . And there is no such things as dare with me. So I walked right up to him and asked . Hi what’s your name ? He said “Stephen with a ph” automatically I was like ew what a d bag . I told him my name was Monica. Which is the usual since I’m trying to protect myself. I mean hey !!! I’ve seen “You.” You know how much you can get by just a name ??

Anyways. Somehow or the other me and this brown kid end up like talking and flirting near the bar, and then separate in a typical nyc style. My friend finds this guy who is cute but hella short but she looks over it and starts dancing with him. So she’s all boo’d up so I’m like okay fuck it . Lemme find vickram . I look and can’t find him . I ask her yo where is he and she’s like oh that’s his friend. So I look over and it’s this SEXY black Dominican guy. And she goes where is your friend? He looks over at me and is like oh you like him ? I’m like so shocked by his sex appeal I’m like uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh . And he said I got you. Lemme give you his number. And it’s like something clicked in me and I took my phone and turned it to him and smiled and said . How about I get your number? I think homeboy was in shock. He was ..... o.O for real? I’m like yeah . So then my friend pushes me into him and we made out ACKKKKMMM. It was such a good kiss too. Like I don’t understand . We come up from the makeout and i look over and I see Vickram looking HEATED with his arms out mouthing the words “bro what the fuck.” I looked at the Dominican guy and said I think your friend is mad . It would’ve been sexy if he didn’t pull on my hoops but he said “yo I don’t care” and made out with me again. LIKE LMFAOOOOOO I’m really ruining lives out here. I have his number saved as question mark but I have no idea what this guys vans is.

I feel so contempt in my heart. I feel like I now get what being truly single is. Not the slutting it up on a nyc night part. But about going out with your friends. Not looking for love. Not taking shit serious and always being hurt about the past. Its just being happy around the girls your with. I mean the boys make it super fun but who honestly needs them ? They can be used and abused . I don’t think I’ll ever text mystery man . I think id rather keep him and Vickram a total secret.

But the end of the story is that I’m really a bad bitch . Like I truly am .😂😂😂 and I love myself . More than anyone else. But I have to keep that in hindsight. I sometimes forget but hopefully writing down my stories for the future will make me realize that I really am that bitch . And give me great stories to tell my grandkids 😂😂😂

[mbtimemes]

brutally honest descriptions of the mbti types based off my experiences with them via a very sleep deprived infp

enfp:

-commitment issues? haha i’ve never heard of those :))))

-will literally punch a toddler in the throat if they say they support trump

-so i took the mbti test 7 times and i got infp twice and entp once?? i don’t really know, because i kind of fit into the infj sterotypes more, but if you really think about it i’m kind of an enfj? but i also really relate to isfps, but then again i think i’m too opinionated and logical to be a feeler, so entp isn’t out of the question, but i also feel like the entj cognitive functions really fit m

-genuinely love animals and it’s so pure

-hi sorry for not replying, i was in prison :3 also i moved to norway lol

-actually just the 2007 taco xd random aesthetic irl

-“i just came up with another book plot” texts approximately every 2.3 hours

isfp:

-hi i’m melissa i’m a 23 year old art school dropout and i abuse prescription pills but it’s okay because i have 200 followers on my grunge aesthetic instagram account. rent me an apartment?

-(talking about veganism to someone at a party) i just don’t understand how anyone could put all of that stuff in their body :/ *bends down to snort a line of cocaine*

-actually really artistically talented but much like the infp they refuse to give themselves any credit for it

-my dream man is someone who goes to coachella with me, helps me align my charkas, takes sad candid pictures of me, is willing to backpack around europe with me and my philosophy class during the summer,

-*googles* why do i share a type with literally every indie musician that has ever breathed lol

-probably fucked your girl in the back of a vape shop

infj:

-if you manage to find one never let them go they are some of the best people you’ll ever meet

-huge harry potter nerds

-can manage to get you to spill out your entire life story to them with a concerned glance

-please actually care for yourself for once and a while literally you do everything for everyone else just take some time for yourself god dammit you deserve it

-CATS™

-could be literally the most talented person in the world but would never come close to admitting it

-hi i’m actually just jesus christ irl! nice to meet you :-)

intj:

-they know everything

-like seriously everything it’s kind of scary like calm down karl

- allows themselves to recognize exactly one (1) human emotion per year

-can read for hours on end without getting bored and genuinely loves learning

-are generally dicks tbh especially to the people they love the most

-wikipedia articles™

-they actually aren’t actually the emotionless robots tumblr seems to display them as, they are actually extremely emotional in my experience and tend to get offended/upset easily and over small things

-sci-fi, cats, and machines > humans

-superiority complex™

-cute when they aren’t busy throwing tantrums/crushing the souls of their enemies

esfj:

-hi i’m martha, i’m 32 years young, i like long walks by the beach, yoga, and judging my neighbors for not mowing their lawn :-)  

-tend to be extra™ parents and their kids can either turn out complete emotional wreck assholes because they’ve never been disciplined or the happiest child you’ll ever meet, there is no in between

-they may be complete snakes and have never came up with an original idea in their entire life but boy can they make a killer chicken parmesan

-kind of comforting in a mother-like sense when they aren’t busy being judgmental dicks

-will clean your entire house for you on a whim

infp:

-wow i love being an infj :)) top 1% haha :))

-will literally develop a crush on someone because they say they know what tumblr is

-find purpose in writing/creating in general

-ending toxic relationships?? haha what’s that??? :))

-constantly switches between their “you can’t control me it isn’t a phase mom go away >:(( my chemical pilots at the disco saved me xd i will literally punch a baby fuck the system i’m 2cool4school” persona and their “i’m such a smol bean :3 save all the animals <333 i love pretty girls and dogs :))” persona

-“can i txt you back in like 15 mins i’m having an emotional breakdown lol”

-actually genuinely empathetic and creatively gifted but gives themself credit for none of it

-intelligent but fails classes because their teacher said something that went against their morals

-playing the victim? never heard of it! :))

-secretly just meme hoarders

-attention whores tbh i won’t even deny it

-o v e r d r a m a t i c

entp:

-hi it’s 6 fucking am and everyone just wants to go back to sleep or die or both but i’m gonna start an argument with the professor over the origin of tangerines for no apparent reason

-*googles* how to permanently get rid of my fe in 5 simple steps

-follow my meme page xd

-so what if i love my dog more than i do myself and my entire family?

-this conversation is boring me i’m gonna go chug a bottle of vodka and binge bill nye the science guy™ peace out

-have low self-esteems but compensate through obscure dark web conspiracy theories at 3 in the morning

-shirley i didn’t call you back because you’re a fake ass bitch not because i didn’t like your lasagna at the block party

estp:

-why do i keep physically abusing my crush lol

-and why do i keep yelling i can’t even stop at this point someone please send help

-they love food more than they do themselves

-fuckboys™

-hi welcome to my prank youtube channel :3

-the type of people to show up to school with 37 puppies and a knife

-i’m not gay but 20 bucks is 20 bucks

entj:

-sorry i didn’t show up to school because you’re fucking stupid

-awe infp is so cute <3 i’ll destroy them last

-*on the floor, drunk, talking to their dog* you’re the only motherfucker in this town who can handle me

-what do you mean other people’s opinions/beliefs besides my own are valid lol??

-lowkey have daddy kinks

-what do you mean it’s physically impossible for me to control every aspect of my life??

-i mean if you really think about it voldemort was the victim,

-the type of person who could tell their crush they like them without flinching. terrifying

istp:

-wears d.a.r.e shirts ironically

-1990’s grunge aesthetic

-would walk into a burning building for the meme

-playing the hero?? haha never heard of it :))

-ew what the fuck man get those feelings away from me lol

-fuck da police

-following the rules?? that seems excessive lmao no thanks

istj:

-i once had one (1) original idea back in the summer of ’67. it was terrifying. i’ll never do it again.

-your scary math teacher that wears black socks everyday expects friday. then they jazz it up a bit with stripes. will mark your grade up if you say you like the same sports team as they do.

-understanding concepts outside of your own experiences? lmao no thanks?

-will make quizlet sets organize your desk for you

-my dream in life is to narrate a crime documentary and complete my george washington memorabilia collection.

-remembers all of their colleagues birthdays. doesn’t say happy birthday.

enfj:

-fucking get over your ex already he wasn’t that attractive calm down allison

-*googles* why do i relate to regina george from mean girls so much?

-the type of person who tells your boyfriend you have a crush on him

-o v e r d r a m a t i c

-gets your shit together for you. judges you

intp:

-dead inside

-if you can manage to find one that actually tolerates you they are some of the most loyal and true people you’ll ever meet

-horrible social skills, compensates through meme hoarding

-sends you links to conspiracy theory videos when you’re sad

-extremely intelligent but they get lost in their own house

-whoops i just remember i haven’t showered in 3 weeks lol

-i would laugh at that joke but i’m 3 hours deep into an existential crisis and i’m 100% convinced you are actually a robot created by bill clinton so not today jeff

esfp:

-yes homo

-cries over cat videos in public

-facetimes you in a grasshopper fursuit at 3 in the morning

-probably an alcoholic

-has 87 different crushes at once

-you haven’t talked to them in 7 years but they’ll show up at your birthday party and give you dog

-also attention whores

-generally has the personality of someone who just did 10 lines of cocaine

isfj:

-one sec let me just gather up all of the fake empathy i can muster for this particular situation

-that one kid in class who always has perfect notes

-shudders at the thought of… a… creative… thought….

-falls in love with an estp approximately every 23 seconds

-hi i’m karen, i’m 34, i love my family, cupcake baking, helping people of course until it interferes with my own personal comfort haha, christmas decorations, room layouts,

-probably has a studyblr

estj:

-your angry boss

-probably cyberbullies children on the internet 

-has an emotional breakdown when they don’t win classroom jeopardy 

-*googles* who is bernie sanders and why do i want him dead

-organizes your shit for you, regrets it later

-dead inside

#mbti #myers briggs #enfp #infp #isfp #esfp #esfj #isfj #istj #istp #enfj #intp #intj #infj #estp #entp #entj

[captainvictoryboat]

Behind The Scenes 4 (8/?)

Author’s note: I have been writing more and OMG i filed out a 6th composition book and Behind The Scenes has officailly moved on to a 7th composition book.

This whole thing is in Jin’s pov so the italics are a flashback.

WARNINGS: physical abuse, alcohol

Word Count: 2562

Summary: Jin isnt handling things too well

ALL PARTS

He sat at his desk all alone in his dim, stuffy bedroom. It wasn’t too late in the night, only 9pm. Everything ended early and the first thing he did was lock himself in his room as he had the past few weeks. He could hear the voices of the younger ones out in the kitchen, laughing and bickering, but he wanted no part of it. Instead he stared down at his cellphone that lay lifeless on his desk.

He stared at his phone, waiting for it to ring. All he wanted was a call from Mina yelling at him for more money or to say how horrible of a person he was. He didn’t care what she hated about him all he wanted was a call from her that meant that he wasn’t completely cut off from Jinjin. Even if all he would hear was her telling him that he couldn’t see Jinjin anymore and would only get updates, that was all that mattered.

The last few nights he has called, texted, emailed and did just about anything to contact Mina. It wasn’t to apologize to her, but to try and talk to Jinjin, explain to his son that he wasn’t a monster. All efforts to speak to his ex failed. He was sure he wasn’t blocked by her, but he knew that she wasn’t opening his messages and just not responding to him at all. “The fact that she hasn’t blocked me has to be a sliver of hope in all this, right?”

Jin sat in his chair dreading the idea of not seeing Jinjin. He once went two years without seeing him and it almost broke him. He didn’t know if he could go through that again. If it weren’t for the busy schedule, he would try to go back to their house and check on him.

He looked back at the phone. The lack of notifications taunted him. he turned on the screen and dragged his finger to where he brought up Mina’s contact. The image of her stupid smiling face photoshopped with a mustache and horns stared back at him. “I need to try some more.” He told himself. Things probably won’t be any different, but it wouldn’t hurt to try.

He clicked her name and the call began. Ring. Ring. Ring. Ring. Ring. “Hi, you reached Mina. I can’t pick up but text me or give me a call later.” He called again. Ring. Ring. Ring. Ring. Ring. “Hi you reached Mina. I can’t pick up but-“ Again. Ring. Ring. Ring. Ring. Ring. “Hi you reached Mina-“ Again. Ring. Ring. Ring. Ring. Ring. “Hi you reached-“ he called again and again and again, but each time had the same results.

He sat in defeat, his sobbing face in his hands, fingers gripping into his scalp. It was no use. She wasn’t picking up and it was starting to drive him crazy. There was an ugly feeling inside him. He felt like he was going to throw up any second. He didn’t know what to do to make it go away.

“Maybe calling mom would help?” he thought. “Maybe she was able to get through to Jinjin.” He grabbed his phone and scrolled to her contact. Her smiling face made him feel warm inside. He pressed talk and within two rings she picked up.

“Hello?” her soft voice asked

“Hey mom, it’s me again.” Jin tried to cover up the fact that he had been crying.

“Oh Seokjin.” And there is was. That disappointed tone. She had been speaking to him like that for a while now. Jin hated it, it always made him feel like he was shit. No matter what he did he couldn’t bring back her sing song voice.

“How have you been?”

“The same.” Her voice was so cold and empty. It really hurt the way she spoke at him. Mother’s weren’t supposed to be this way. She was never this way with him, not before Mina.

“Have you been able to get ahold of her?” he was almost scared to ask. The last thing he did was want to bring her into their drama again but he felt he had no other choice.

“…Yes, a few days ago.”

“You did? Why didn’t you tell me? What did she say? Did you get to talk to Jinjin? Have you told her to answer my calls?”

She let out a long sigh. “She wanted me to tell you something.”

“What is it?”

“… She wants you to leave her and Jinjin alone. There is no point in bothering them anymore, Jinjin wants nothing to do with you. She doesn’t want your money or anything else from you. She and Jinjin left the house. She didn’t tell me where, but don’t try calling them either because she is going to change her number.”

He felt his heart stop. “wha- wh- what?”

“You really fucked things up this time.” she spat.

“Mom!”

“What? You expect me to sit here and feel bad for you? You really want me to take your side in this?!? Do you think that I am really want her or Jinjin around someone like you?”

“What do you mean like me?”

“You’’re just like your father!”

Jin’s hand slammed down on the desk. “I am nothing like him!”

“You are exactly like him! I thought that after everything we went through that you wouldn’t-” she let out another sigh. “I don’t know where I went wrong with you.”

“Mom!”

“You know better than to treat others the way you do!”

He opened his mouth to defend himself but nothing came out.

“Seokjin, as you mother, I love you with all my heart, but there are some things i can’t overlook and this is one of them. For the sake of Jinjin and Mina, I hope they never see you again. If only I did the same back-“

That’s when he hung up on her. He gripped on to the phone as he began to cry again. His nose was too runny, he couldn’t breathe. Everything inside him was hurting. He felt like he was dying. He wanted to scream, but he couldn’t. He was too aware of the others out in the dorm. Instead, he gripped onto his phone tighter and began hammering it into his desk. He smashed it harder and harder as he sobbed silently. The bangs of the cellphone were probably just as loud as if he would have screamed, but pounding sounds would keep other others away unlike bloodcurdling cries. He could feel the screen giving out. He heard the crack and soon felt the tiny shards digging into his palm. It wasn’t until a single drop of blood landed on his desk that he threw the cellphone across the room. “I am not like him.”

-

Little seven year old Jin stood in his most favorite room in the entire house, the kitchen. Unlike other boys his age who loved their bedroom because “that’s where the toys are”, Jin loved the kitchen because that is where the food was made.

He was sitting down at the table doing his homework as mom moved all over in search of some aprons.

“Ah-ha!” she smiled as she found her two pink aprons hiding under the sink. She slid one on and then went over to him. “Here you go sweetie!”

“But it’s pink. That’s a girl color!”

“Oh please, you look adorable in pink! Plus, if you don’t put this on, I wont let you make the cake.”

He stared at the girly apron. He hated it, but what else could he do about it? The last thing he wanted to do was break the birthday tradition. He did a small eye roll and put it on (all by himself, he didn’t even need to mom to remind him how to tie it). His mother’s apron was still too big for him, the hem almost reaching the floor.

“Oh don’t you look so cute!” she quealed as she pinched his cheek, “Let’s get started. What flavor does the birthday boy want?”

“Chocolate!”

“Sounds great! Let’s get everything.”

His mom went over to the taller cabinets for the small stuff and he scurried to the lower levels to gather the bowls like the strong boy he was. They rendezvoused  back to the table and further prepared for the task ahead of them.

Just as they were about to start mixing, Jin heard the front door open followed by a familiar jingle of keys. “Dad!”

He jumped off his seat and ran to the door. “Daddy!”

There at the entrance of the home stood his father, hunching over to place down his suitcase. Jin went for the knees and hugged both his father’s legs as tight as he could.

“Hi seokjin.” His dad said with the huff from almost being knocked over.

“Hi dad!”

Jin could feel his father’s hands hooking under his arms and soon he was lifted in to the air.

“Dad, since it is my birthday, mom and I are going to make cake! Your going to eat some right?!?”

His father’s dry lips kissed the top of his head. “Oh for sure Seokjin, especially since you are going to make it!” his words sounded cheerful, but his face didn’’t show it.

Now in his arms, being carried towards the kitchen, Jin studied his father’s face. Greasy creased forehead, tired eyes, slightly messy hair. Yup, that was his dad and not some evil clone like he saw in the movie last night.

“Why don’t you help us make the cake? Making cake is fun!”

“Not this time, daddy is too tired today.” He mumbled as he walked into the kitchen. “Hi Jagi.” He said to his wife.

“Oh finally you are home!.” She went up to him opening her arms to give him a hug, a kiss being the second part of her greeting.

“Ew!” Jin gagged when he saw their lips touch. “Dad now you have cooties!”

His dad looked down at him and before Jin could figure out why his face was coming so close, his dad’s lips once again landed on his head. “Now you have them too!”

“No!” he squealed and squirmed.” Immediately he wiped away the germ infest slobber that was in his haIr.

His father let out a chuckle and that was when he set jin back down, setting him free to wander about.

His mother’s smile quickly disappear when she saw her husband walking towards the fridge. “How was work?” her voice was softer now

His father said nothing as he dug into the fridge, eventually pulling out a six pack.

“That bad huh?”

“I’ll be in front of the tv if anyone needs me.” His father said before he left the room.

Jin could see his mother fidgeting with her fingers, her lips tightened, the creases on her forehead grew deeper, her eyes widening. She always did that when ever she saw his dad with beer. “Awesome, she isn’t a clone either!”

As if a switch went off in her head, his mother’s face brightened up again. “Why don’t we get started on the cake.

Back to the battle plan, they worked together to get everything done. “Ok remember, dry with dry, wet with wet, then mix it all together for the perfect set!” she recited as she whisked the soon to be delicious concoction together.

“So how was school today?”

“It was fun! It was career day!”

“Really? Who went to your school?”

“Uuuuuuh, a doctor, a police man and a fire man and a chef and , uh, a nurse, and um, I forgot.”

“That’s so interesting! What did you think? Do you want to be like any of them?”

“Nah!”

“No? Why?”

“I want to be an actor! That way I can be all of them in different movies!”

Her smile widened. “Oh my baby is going to be such a handsome actor! I can see you face on posters already!”

He loved seeing his mothers reaction, now he wanted to see what his dad thought. “I’m gonna go tell dad!” he said as he jumped off the chair that allowed him to reach the counter.

“Seokjin, wait!”

He ignored his mothers words and ran for the living room. He followed the sound of the tv until he spotted his father on the couch.  He was quick to jump over the the five empty cans and made it to his fathers side with ease.

“Dad!”

“Uh?” his father didn’t look at him, he was too busy watching tv

“daddy, we had carreer day today! I want to be an actor when I grow up!”

Unlike the encouraging words his mom gave him, his father had a different reaction. The man’s lead hand slapped him across the face.

Jin let out a scream the second he felt the pain of thousands of needles sting his cheek

“No son of mine if going to be an actor!” his fathers tone remained groggy. “you’re going to be like me. You’re gonna have a real job.”

Jin continued to cry as the pain on his face intensified. No matter how hard he held his cheek, the throbbing wouldn't go away.

“Shut up! I cant hear the tv!” He father screamed. Again his heavy hand flew through the air and Jin was struck in the temple. He fell to the ground in a daze and the pain worsened.

“don’t hit him!” jin was able to make out his mother’s voice over his cries.

The tv turned off and his father stood up. “What did you just say?” he growled

Through his blurry vision, Jin could see his mothers feet in between him and his father. “I said don’t hit him!” she said with more authority

“he is my son and I do whatever I want to him!”

Jin witnessed his father push his mom to the side. Her tiny frame went flying, knocking into the book shelf. Jin felt his body being lifted up ,only to be knocked down again by a blow to the gut. Suddenly there was a fist coming at him and soon he felt pain all over. There was too much going on, he couldn’t process anything . all he could gather was his father’s enraged face and his crying mom trying to pry off this beast of a man. Jin was wrong. The man in his home wasn’t his father, just a monster that looked like him.

-

Three black eyes, a broken nose (that would later get fixed with plastic surgery), a broken wrist, and bruises upon bruises scattered from head to toe. Those were the injuries sustained from the first attack Jin could remember. Even after all these years he wasn’t able to erase that day from his head.

“Pft! “Evil clone” my ass”. He mumbled at that stupid coping mechanism of his youth. That being the only way his small mind could understand the asshole his father was “I’m not like him.”

Jin wiped away the last of the tears that ran down his face. He walked out of the room and to the next. His strong hand knocked on the heavy door at the end of the hall.

He waited patiently until Rap monster opened the door. His leader looked at him with an expressionless faces. “What do you want?” he asked with an annoyed tone

“I need a favor.”

*my next “update” might not be the next part. I think i am going to put together a playlist of songs that either inspired me to write certain scenes or songs that related to the story. Idk why i want to post it i just really want to haha. Just a small heads up that the next title/ the next thing i add to the masterlist might not be the next scene.

#bts #bangtan boys #rm #rap monster #v #jimin #jin #jungkook #suga #jhope #namjoon #hoseok #taehyung #yoongi #kpop #beyond the scenes #behind the scenes #kpop fanfic #bts fanfic #angst #kpop angst #bts angst #jin angst #kpop scenarios #bts scenarios #kpop reactions #kpop texts #bts reactions #bts texts

[lizacstuff]

7x04 Anons

I have a ton of asks so I’ll answer a few under the cut.  A lot of them deal with negativity over the ep and season so be warned and don’t click if you don’t want to read that.

Anonymous said:Liza, have you watched tonight's episode? What did you think of the Rumbelle send off? And of Alice being Roger's daughter?

I had zero emotional reaction to Rumbelle’s story in this episode. None. It’s been too toxic and gross and I have never really cared about it so it didn’t make me feel anything at all. I was curious what they were going to do. Now I know. 

As far as Alice being WishHook’s daughter. Eh. So they take the only interesting character and now she’s a fake Wish person too?  I just can’t with this nonsense. I’m having  a lot of problems with WishHook, so I’m not thrilled she’s tied to his story. 

Colin is still hot and an awesome human being and a terrific actor, but the plot... it’s a no for me.

Anonymous said:Sometimes I think Adam and Eddy believe they are the most clever people to ever write, and that everyone else are simple minded peasants. Like that one post-7x04 interview where the interviewer asked if Alice is wish Hook's daughter. "You're very perceptive." Uh, no, Adam and Eddy. You just have all the subtlety of a freight train. You had Alice and Rogers play chess. Wish Hook and his daughter played chess. It's obvious. Don't talk to people like they're stupid for figuring the obvious out.

This show has always been pretty obvious about some things, but they used to pull off some twists. I remember a time when fan speculation was way more wrong than it is right.  

However, season 7 is just really obvious in terms of some of the “big twists.”  Take Alice being the LGBT character, the entire fandom speculated that from the first second she appeared in shooting spoilers based on stereotypes. I have been hoping it’s not her because of those stereotypes, but nope! They had no surprises up their sleeve with it. Then most people immediately assumed she was Roger’s daughter the second we found out he had one... and apparently no twist there either. 

I guess the days of the entire fandom being shocked by finding out Hook is the Dark One and Dark Swan did everything for Hook... are over. 

Of course we should have known this reboot lost all subtlety in the second episode when everyone and their mother kept asking Henry if he was in love with the random woman he just met.  

Anonymous said:I know the promo pics didn't spell anything good for Belle, but I'm still surprised that they actually had her die. I kept thinking that there would be some twist to it.

As I was just saying... no twists, no turns. It’s exactly as everyone predicted. 

Anonymous said:I didn't watch the ep, but shit Henry and ivy have so much more chemistry than the other girl. Cinderella I think lol damn talk about epic romance also I saw comments that also agree with the Henry and ivy

If you haven’t watched how do you know they have more chemistry?  Seriously, that’s kind of ridiculous. What are you basing that on?

Anonymous said:ouat is a weird show, it requires you to pay really pay attention but not to close of attention or you will notice all the plot holes

100% accurate.  This reboot is creating so many more plot holes with all the magic mcguffins that are suddenly in play.  I guess you either have to accept it and go along for the ride, or recognize it for what it is. 

Anonymous said:hey liza, who are your favourite characters from the new cast? some of them don’t really impress me but i quite like ivy and tilly.

Both of those characters have some interesting aspects to them.  It may have a lot to do with the performers.  I haven’t been impressed with Gabriel, Dania or Mekia’s choices so far, but Adelaide and Rose have interesting screen presence. 

Anonymous said:Drizella really is a Mean Girls version of Regina. I'm between finding her general attitude annoying and finding her somewhat sympathetic considering she has to deal with Tremaine all day.

You mean Regina when she was a girl and under Cora’s thumb?  I could see that comparison.  Lets hope Drizella doesn’t follow in Regina’s footsteps and become the mass murdering rapist in town.

Anonymous said:Did Rumbelle build the house in Storybrooke?

Um... I’m not sure I understand this question.  In the show I believe that Up-inspired cabin where they were living isolated from everything and everyone else (do people really find that a happy ending?) was in the edge of realms. 

Anonymous said:I'm almost mad that we got to see more of Belle and Rumple's story than we did of Captain Swan. We all know they are living their happy ending but it would still be wonderful to see a little clip of Emma sitting on the beach with their daughter waiting for Killian to show up and join their picnic. Just some good ole domestic Captain Swan on scene would make me so happy. *sigh*

I have a number of anons like this, and just NOPE.  

First, we did not see more of Rumbelle than CS on this show.  Rumbelle was a backburner story that was most often characterized as a cautionary tale of abuse and manipulation and the pair were mostly apart and had very little focus through the run of the series. 

The showrunners decided that going forward they needed viewers to feel good about Belle and RB so after making them a gross, toxic mess for seasons now (it was just last year that Rumple was fucking the Evil Queen while Belle ran and hid for her life as he stalked and threatened her) they gave fans a bunch of twee scenes of her growing old (a life she lived isolated from everyone but two people) and dying in order to get rid of her and give Rumple motivation for this idiotic S7.

You’re jealous of that? Seriously? Fuck no. 

Also you need to understand that 7.02 and 7.04 were very different episodes.  7.02 was still really Henry's story and a moment in time where he called for help and got to see his parents for a few minutes and we all found out that Emma and Hook are doing great and gonna have a baby and living a blissfully happy life together.  It was just a check in where it was confirmed for us that Operation Happy Beginning has been a success and things are amazing. Also it spun off WishHook and completely separated the plot of S7 away from CS.  7.04 was 100% Rumple plot and his story. It explained why he's there and what is motivating him in Hyperion Heights.  Very different.  For 7.02, CS were not the focus because they didn’t need to be. Nothing in S7 requires knowing exactly what is going to happen to them minute by minute.  I'll take less screen time and my OTP being completely disentangled from this mess any day of the week.

Anonymous said:Lol my jealousy of Rumbelle having more focus than CS has dropped to 0%, that episode was eh. CS is expecting a baby, and Belle is dead after spending her life trying to fix rumple's. Nice.

Yep.  Look, I’m happy for any fans of Rumple or Belle that are happy about this episode and found peace in Belle’s life, but the writers did too much damage to this pairing over the years for me to care about it at all. 

Anonymous said:While I can't stand rumbelle I feel for the shippers. They did get some happy scenes but their ship is going to spend the rest of the season apart and in pain until the half alive dies.

Yeah... I would not like that, I don’t think. It’s just kind of creepy and icky and ew-ey. However, to each her own.  

Anonymous said:Agreed with that anon, there some good moments, but this was definitely not even close to one of the best episodes of the series. I have to respectfully disagree with Colin on this one. (Actually season 7 in its entirety lol)

Oh dear sweet Colin. Just trying to do his job.  So many cast and crew and media have shot their hyperbolic wad with this episode. Calling it the best EVER!!!!!  What will they say for the rest of the season?  “This is the second best episode EVER!!!!!” Or will they keep one upping every time they have to promote an ep?

No one with an economic interest in S7 can be trusted when talking about the quality of this season (and I include Mitovich and NA in that.) 

Anonymous said:I didn't watch the episode but I'm curious: are we supposed to believe that when Belle dies Emma and Killian are old too or was there some timeline glitch and Emma and Killian are still young in Storybrooke at the time of HH events? 

Who knows. Belle and Rumple were off living at the Edge of Realms for the last years of her life.  Rumple said something about time standing still there except for Belle??? I think. (my mind kept wandering duiring those scenes becuse they were so boring) Then after she died he opened a portal thingy to go to the time and place where the Guardian (the deux ex machina that is going to cure him of the Dark One curse) lives and Rumple was then transported to the newEF (that looks exactly like the old, I mean couldn’t they have given this new storybook’s fairy tale land some stylistic differences???)  on the night of Cinderella’s Ball and we see Henry drive by on his motorcycle. 

So yes, I think some of the flashforwards could have been from far in the future, and some could have been not all that distant because they were in a weird realm with weird time mechanics. 

However, I think Rumple and Belle left Storybrooke well before Henry did (they talk about it at Gideon’s first birthday and Henry still would have been about 14 at that time) so by the time this Hyperion Heights stuff is happening they would have been off in Fairy Tale land “traveling?” (ie living their lives in dusty libraries searching books for a way to cure Rumple.)

It hurts ones head to try to sort it all out. 

Anonymous said:After watching this episode, all I think is how sad it is how far this show gone from greatness. Going back 3 years, I would’ve never imagined ouat would be like this now. Sorry for being dramatic, it’s all just so jarring.

I think one of the most unfortunate things about this is that I really think OUAT could have been a valuable and viable franchise for years to come.  However, they tried to reboot it too soon.  As I’ve said since last spring, I think it would have been much better to let it rest a year or two and then come back with 10-13 episode event series for ABC.  

However, this experiment will probably negate any opportunity for that.

Anonymous said:I think it's a little sad that in real time, Belle died like 5-10 years after the s6 finale. I know it was longer for her but to everyone else that knew her, it'd be like she died young.

Yep. I’m not sure if in Hyperion Heights or Storybrooke in 2017 if Belle is dead, dead, or still living out her life at the edge of realms or wherever and Rumple traveled back in time???  

I don’t know. 

Anonymous said:Do you think killing Belle off is going to decrease the ratings more?

Nope. If ratings do decrease, I don’t think that will have been a factor.

Anonymous said:They lost viewers even with the episode they promoted the most wow 

They did and yes, other than the premiere, this has been the most promoted episode.  As I’ve said since the premiere, ep 5 ratings should be the most telling. I’m guessing that will be the baseline for the rest of the half season. At that point anyone in the audience who was just curious if they would preserve our favorites happy endings from the first 6 season will know and there won’t be a bump from that.  We’ll see. 

#ouat negativity #asklizac #ouat 7x04 #ouat 7.04 #ouat s7 #anonymous

[mywinestainedheart]

My Fault. His Fault. Our Fault.

If you fight for your limitations, you get to keep them.

I came across this quote on my Instagram timeline one morning. This statement could have pertained to anything depending on the personal experience of who was reading it, but because I’m trying to swim against the waves and whitecaps of depression, anxiety and a breakup, I associated it with that. If you’ve read my previous post about being a bitter ex-girlfriend, then you know that I’m not the most understanding of people until the anger subsides. While I still have my hurt and resentment over the end of this latest relationship, I am in the process of healing, which means I am now starting to consider quotes like this one from a different point of view. My antipathy and narcissism have me thinking: “Yes! He was nothing but a shackle on my ankle anyway, so good riddance to him”. My maturity remembers that it’s not always someone else who is the dead weight. Sometimes, it’s you.

It has taken me a while, but lately I’ve been trying to force myself to accept that our relationship isn’t the miracle recovery story, but rather the cadaver he got to practice and learn from so that he can perform better in his next relationship. For a whole year, I’d been giving CPR to a corpse. This is my biggest hindrance. Every person I date is meant to be my “forever”. I get so caught up in the potential of what we could be that I’m blinded to the reality of what we are: Dead. And I’m the only one in hysterics, screaming for a medic while trying to resuscitate an already decaying situation. With this latest death, I refused to acknowledge reality. I wasn’t blinded—I knew relationship rigor mortise had long set in—I simply didn’t want to believe it. I mean, this was the first time I’d ever said I love you to someone. I’d opened myself up—I was vulnerable and let someone else in—so didn’t God owe me that miracle recovery just this once?!

When someone decides they no longer want to be with you, letting go of that person is a whole-hearted individual effort. You have to want to let go in order to move forward because, if you fight for your limitations, you get to keep them. He’d eventually stopped fighting; recognising sooner than I did that maybe we’re not the right fit for each other. He’d surreptitiously been fondling the life support plug when I wasn’t looking until he’d managed to get a firm enough grip and yanked it. I don’t know what he did with his share of our remains. As for myself, I only buried our relationship about a month ago. We’d been dead for over a year so I feel that I shouldn’t give time for the emotional ground to settle and rather erect a headstone as soon as possible, but what would it even read?

“I still don’t understand why you couldn’t love me”?

“I know it’s over, but I still imagine what our kids would look like”?

“I don’t know if I’ll ever have the strength to be your friend after this”?

“Do you really believe you gave us a fair chance”?

For now, I’m walking (staggering) away from the grave to live my life crying in random spurts, wondering if he ever thinks of me when he’s had too much to drink, or when he’s putting himself to bed at night. I miss him to hell and back, and the urge to dial his number sometimes aches like arthritis in my fingers, but I know I’d only be speaking to his ghost. So, I choose to roll over and sleep the middle of my bed, reminding myself that there’s someone else these days who sleeps on my side of his. She gets the midnight forehead kisses now, and I can’t help but hate her for it.

I’ve buried us, but a piece of me deep, deep down still calls on God for a resurrection. I realise that this is insane, but I’m a nit-picker and a hopeless romantic by design, so I often entertain thoughts about what could happen five years from now. Maybe I’ll get my shit together, maybe after he’s done trying to find whatever was missing from us in someone else, he’ll realise that we actually are the right fit. Maybe he misses me too and he’ll call, maybe we just need time, maybe we’re the exception to the principle of finality… I’m a master at breaking my own heart; can you tell?

When I find myself running away with fantasies like that, I switch focus and try to remember the things I didn’t like about him. One of the big ones was that he used to skip night showers in favour of the morning. This bothered me because you accumulate the most dirt during the day and that’s what you’re taking into your bed? Ewe. It also bothered me that he rarely brushed his teeth (morning or night) unless he was meeting someone important that day. Weirdly, his breath never smelled, but… oral hygiene? I decide that this is something that must not have been enforced on him as a child the way it was with us growing up. If he and I ever got married and started a family (and we’d have made beautiful babies, by the way), he might think me militant because night showers and teeth brushing would have been non-negotiable; the same way it was under my mother’s roof. He also didn’t enjoy working out and eating healthy. I thrived on this lifestyle. I liked my toned physique and worked hard to maintain it because I liked knowing that I had the aesthetically appealing body type that most people want but are too lazy to achieve. It made me one step ahead of average, even if my looks were nothing to brag about. Looking good physically made me feel good internally. But he felt just as good eating fast food most days of the week and drinking coke for breakfast. What would he look like in five years when I would be pushing weights to look like sixty-something-year-old Angela Bassett? I also disliked his Mr-Know-It-All personality. I couldn’t vent to him without him giving me a solution or make a general statement without him sounding off on the topic as though to prove that he knew more about it than me. That said, he also talked a lot, and I sometimes worried about this because if I ever brought him around certain family members, he might rub them the wrong way.

Fuck, and after all that I was still in love with the man.

I suppose that would mean I’m not as superficial when it comes to my partners as I used to be. I had a vision of The Perfect Guy in my head with all the strapping trims and finishings, but then this idiot steered into my life in an old, beat up VW rather than a white horse, brown haired, blue-eyed and shaggy-bearded only to toss my checklist (and my bra) out the window. I now accept that there will always be things you don’t like about someone else (I’m sure he could write an encyclopedia detailing the things he doesn’t like about me), but those things are hardly deal breakers. His less favourable qualities didn’t negate the fact that he was, and is, an amazing human being. For the first two years that we were together (although I did display bouts of jealousy) I never questioned his fealty to me. I knew, deep down, that I was the be all and end all. Not all women get to experience that in their lifetime. He spoiled me with it.

I know I let him slip through my fingers, and I beat myself up about it almost every day. I also know that he abused my trust, but it’s no longer any of my business whether he beats himself up about that anymore. We both messed up in different ways in different magnitudes, and that’s why we died. Neither of us is solely to blame but, for me, that’s what makes the grieving process so difficult. I miss him to hell and back, but he’s probably done me a favour by giving up the fight first.

Had he not, I would have stayed in a country I hate, probably moved to a town I don’t like just to be with him, found yet another unfulfilling job and trained myself to be content with just him, his family, and maybe a dog (or a cat, which I would have hated). As much as I loved and love him, I questioned and question that ideal. He was buying family plots and making plans in his head about where his kids were going to grow up. I’m wading through a battle with depression and trying to regain wasted years of career inexperience. Until I win, I’m not thinking about marriage and kids. And I’ve always wanted more for my life than a husband and a humble home. Not that I’m quite sure what more is, but it would not be found in a small industrial town where I have no friends of my own and potential in-laws that might not take too kindly to our interracial relationship. He was also earning enough to have moved out of his parents house by age 25, but every job I was finding by age 27, as a woman, was not willing to pay me anything more than just enough to cover basic essentials. Moving out on what I was making would mean moving into desolation and isolation because after rent was paid, I’d be too broke to do anything. Not to mention I’d be unable to save, barely put fuel in my car and make room for little unexpected expenses. But, to him, it was like I wasn’t trying. He turned into Mr-Know-It-All with his solutions and I became resentful because it felt like he wasn’t aiming to understand my circumstances before sounding off. This also might have been when the depression started to creep in, but neither of us knew. We just knew that I wasn’t the same person. I was angry all the time and had a negative attitude towards everything. I also became desperate and needy and I would make him the sole focus of my days because, for a long time, he was the only thing that stimulated a little bit of dopamine in my brain. I smothered him with demands for his time and affection when he really didn’t want to be rationing it to me anymore. If he hadn’t chosen to give up the fight and walk away, what would have become of me? Of us as people? What if he hadn’t let me hit rock bottom?

All considerations route back to the inkling that, together, we probably were each other’s limitations.

However, knowing that I am likely destined for something greater than what he can offer me right now doesn’t stop that little piece of me from hoping. I’ve now trained that voice to hope in silence, though. It has championed far too loudly for some of the wrongest situations in the past, so I try my best to pay it no regard with the anticipation that one day it will go mute, like it did with all the others.

I miss him to hell and back, but maybe he’s just not man enough to handle my particular brand of crazy—and I can be crazy when it’s brought out of me. Maybe he needs someone soft. Someone with a handle on her mental stability. Someone endearing with a mouth that doesn’t spit venom when she feels threatened. Maybe that girl on my side of his bed is who he deserves. She may never love him as hard, but she will love him enough. Enough to transform him into the man he so desperately wants to be that might not be the man I could love in five years.

I miss him to hell and back, but that tombstone on our grave needs to be put up. What would it read? I’m still deciding.

“Maybe we’ll find our way back as friends cause, you know, stranger things have happened.”

“I hope your kids end up with her big nose.” (What? I told you I was a bitter ex-girlfriend)

or,

“I hate you right now, only because I still love you. I’m currently searching for the path to indifference. I’m sorry for my contributions to our chaos. I pray she never hurts you like that. Don’t let your arguments with your mum get to you too often. You’re more like her than you think. Be careful with your words when you’re angry. You can be more caustic than me during those moments. Even though your stressed face might be sexy it doesn’t need to be your permanent expression, so try to take more time for yourself and the things you enjoy. I hope your sister gives you a soccer team of nieces and nephews so you can relish the spoils that come with being an uncle. You’ll make a great one. Get back to that building-a-model-car idea with your dad so you can spend more time with him, like I know you said you wanted to. I pray that your whole family stays in good health and that you find whatever it was that was missing from us in your new relationship. I hope you still think about me and, selfishly, I hope the idea of me with someone else still bothers you a little too, because being happy for you is still hard for me, but I will try harder to learn. I don’t want to move on but I know it’s what needs to happen. I told you I cleared out everything of us, but I keep a single photo of you. Maybe one day I’ll delete it. I miss you to hell and back, but the pain is ebbing slowly every day. Please take care of yourself.”

#Healing Seeking MentalHealth OneDay Hope ILovedYou

[narcolepticprince]

ooc;

Thought about whether or not to post, but I feel like it would make me feel better if I did.

Angsty stuff I wrote earlier that I really needed to let out below the cut. Feel free to ignore, especially if you’re enjoying A New Empire. You might not want to read it. |’3

I’ll be drowning my emotions in leftover sea salt ice cream and Terraria. Replies on Friday/Saturday. (Got a visitor on Thursday) If you’ve got Steam, let me know so that I can add you~

TL;DR at the bottom.

First off, this is not a post telling you to uninstall or not support the A New Empire. You’re free to do whatever you want. This is just me complaining, and me just letting out why I plan on not supporting the game, even though it’s FFXV and I’d pretty much drop money at the drop of a hat for FFXV.

A New Empire came out and Sharky/Cera ( @captaindrautos ) tells me to download it and join their guild. I do. While I’m playing it, I was like, “Bro, I’m trying to play this game as a player, but my mind keeps reverting to a game developer/designer mind, this UI is horrible, there better be sounds in those buttons I see there because there is no visual response, wtf are all of these icons doing on one page…etc etc etc” I was playing without sound, because I was at my workplace on break and didn’t want to bother the people who were still working. My dev mind was just going off. Brave Exvius was an amazing skin with additions over Brave Frontier, why was this a shitty skin, y’know?

Then all of a sudden, Sharky goes “Ew”. At first I think it’s a joking response to my previous comment. My plan was to name my character “Noctoooooooo” or some shit because it sounded like Ignis/Gladio/Prompto/Regis screaming his name and telling him to get back this instant, a prince shouldn’t be doing those dangerous things, etc.

Me: Ew? Sharky: [name I don’t recognize because I pronounced it weird in my head] worked on this game. Me: Who? Sharky: [my ex’s actual name]. Me: ………….

Sharky posted a guild call on Facebook for A New Empire and my ex commented, “Enjoy the game, we worked hard on it!”

I felt this sense of dread grip my chest, and I’m pretty sure my mind stopped working for like 3 seconds after I read those words and confirmed them myself. I was getting pretty much flashbacks, and not the pretty kind, but I suppressed at the time them because I was at work.

My ex was emotionally and mentally abusive to me, and all my friends seemed to realize it except for me. It took me six months after our breakup to unfollow him from Facebook. It took me another 5-6 to realize the extent of his abuse. Not only was he preventing me from growing as a person, but he turned into a whole different person when we started living together.

He had anger issues. He never hit me, but he would punch walls and furniture and slam doors whenever he was “in a mood”. He broke my 360 controller and a few of my belongings in his rage, but paid me back for them. During my times of depression, if he was frustrated with my behavior (I wanted him to leave me alone, but he kept being in my face, and if you’ve ever seen someone clinically depressed, you know that they need mutual understanding, support, AND/OR space when they ask), I remember that he would often either threaten to leave the lease (rent was like $2200 and I had a monthly income far below that at the time), leave me, or he would hit himself over and over and make me feel guilty because I was the cause of him getting so enraged that he started hitting himself. He made me feel like I was physically abusing him with my behavior, even though he was the one hitting himself. He would make me feel like shit if I didn’t want to hold his hand every time we went out, even after I told him that I personally hate doing PDA and he agreed not to do it all the time, he did it all the fucking time. There were a lot of things that he did that, months later, I realized was abuse.

As we lived together, his small “quirks” that were just quirks to me before became annoyances. Irritations. Before we moved in together, I was considering marrying this guy. Now I saw his true colors, as he became comfortable with me. I always had to be happy. I always had to be perfectly sane. I wasn’t allowed to be depressed, or if I was depressed, I was only allowed to be depressed for a day or two. I wasn’t allowed to have clinical depression.

Which brings me to A New Empire.

I love mobile games, and I am an indie developer myself. I am the type that is willing to drop $100 on microtransactions a month if the game gives me a good time. I have the income to do that. As a developer, I know how much it costs to run those servers and keep up with regular updates to the game. I understand.

It is not my ex’s fault that he got to work on A New Empire. But A New Empire, even though it has a shitty UI and is an obvious clone, is part of the FFXV universe, a universe that I do love. FFXV helped me out of some rough patches. The fact that my ex had a hand in creating this excuse of a mobile game in one of my favorite universes and franchises turns me off completely.

I will not be supporting A New Empire. At least not monetarily. Because I am not comfortable supporting my abuser.

I will probably play because it is in my habit to play mobile games. Then after a while, I will just...stop. Since the company that makes this also made two other generic mobile games, and A New Empire is literally just a FFXV reskin of those two mobile games. Sharky realized this when I brought up that my ex’s company was in charge of [very well-known notorious game 1] and [very well-known notorious game 2 that is a clone of 1]. If you know what I’m talking about, you can probably tell what company it is, their ads ALWAYS pop up in mobile games/apps that have ads enabled.

I cannot fathom giving support to my ex. I don’t like throwing around the word trigger, but he is my trigger. I actively avoid him as much as I can nowadays, because he makes me upset. I bawled my eyes out in the bathroom stall today because as soon as I was alone, the flashbacks hit me hard, one after the other, of his abuse. Of how stunted he made me. Of how shitty he made me feel in that relationship, and how he always made me feel like something was always wrong with me. I can go on and on about what he did to me. I didn’t even write the worst part of what he did to me, and it makes me shudder because at the time, I didn’t realize that it was also a form of abuse.

You, reader, of course, are free to do whatever you want. Spend money on the app, play the app, post screenshots, whatever. This is just my rant. I really needed to get this off of my chest, because as soon as I found out that he worked on the game, a flurry of emotions spilled out. It will be some time before I can look at the game again without the flashbacks hitting me like they did today. For now, I think I’m going to delete it off of my phone until I feel better. If it does turn out that there is “story” in the mobile game that adds more richness to the FFXV verse, I might pick it up sooner. Otherwise, I mean, it’s just going to be a generic mobile game reskin to me. Why do you think Square Enix didn’t showcase nor mention this at E3? Especially in their FFXV Universe E3 trailer/segment?

I may or may not delete this later. I ask that out of respect, you do not reblog this. Writing this out and posting has helped me deal with my emotions and thoughts immensely. T-T But if you’ve read this far...thank you, and please send hugs to Nocto, because seeing Nocto get hugs makes me feel warm inside.

TL;DR: My mentally and emotionally abusive ex worked on A New Empire, and I will not be supporting the app monetarily nor play anytime soonish, because I get flashbacks of his abuse. Send Nocto hugs.

#ooc #angst #tw: abuse

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #79

“there’s a man standing on top of a hill, screaming freedom for some, but all others must kneel.”

how do you typically introduce yourself in online settings? name, age, location, and i'll usually mention my passions. what do you think will bring on the end of the world? nuclear war, global warming, black hole, etc. religious armageddon of some sort. i don't even remember how the bible mentioned the world would end. do you believe in the death penalty? in VERY FEW CASES, yes. some people are just pure villainous. have you ever done role play? i think my common viewers know i'm a meerkat forum rper, but i've never done, like, real life rp. too weird for me personally. have you ever/would you ever do anal? nope and nope. what’s more important- length or width? why? i don't really care? do you talk dirty during sex? moderately. what was your first orgasm like? never had one, but i got extremely close once while being fingered but panicked so we stopped. i didn't know what was going on lmao. do you own any hair extensions from hot topic? nope. 7-11, sheetz, wawa, or starbucks? sheetz. what do you want to name your kids? daughter will 100% be alessandra, boy will be vincent, luther, or victor. do you personally know any authors? i knew a poet once, but never an author. kissed someone within a day of having a bf/gf? no, holy fuck, slow down. have you ever kept it a secret from someone that you liked them? yeah. have you ever finished an entire jaw breaker? i don't think so. is there anyone you would date on your facebook friend list? no. ever been swimming in a lake or river? lake, multiple times. first time you kissed the last person you kissed? 2012 have you ever broken someone’s heart? idk. ever had a near death experience? i guess so. i overdosed, but i wasn't heavily affected by it, honestly. i've also gotten in a mild wreck. when was the last time you held someone’s hand? some months ago when i was getting my cyst emptied; i was holding mom's. can you play guitar hero? expert, babe. who is someone you know that can play the piano well? no one. who is the best dancer you know? carmen, the older sister of my little sister's former friend. name a time you thought you were going to die? immediately after i overdosed. have you ever not been able to get someone out of your head? very commonly. do you know your neighbors? nope. how do you feel about interracial couples? awesome. what restaurant do you think has the best french fries? i am honestly not certain! who’s your best guy friend? sam or girt, idk. do you like fruit roll ups? yep. what’s the worse type of weather in your opinion? hot and humid. UGH. do you have a kindle or ipad or neither? neither. growing up, did you see your cousins often? i didn't. they live many states away. around what time do you usually eat dinner? between 6-7:30 do you like carrots more if they’re raw, or cooked? i don't like carrots period. did you play with legos as a kid? nope. which bothers you more… spelling mistakes or bad grammar? bad grammar. is there a food that you love the taste of, but makes you feel sick? bananas are the prime example. love 'em, but i get heartburn that could kill a man. which did you discover first, myspace or facebook? myspace have you ever turned to drinking or smoking to solve a problem? let me clarify something here: drinking/smoking does not "solve" the problem, nor do i believe it is capable of doing so. have i turned to drinking for some relief from a problem, sure. if you HAD to get a piercing (not ears) what would you get? i want my lip repierced. what do you wish you had more knowledge about? politics. i don't understand a good 3/4 of it have you ever dealt with a divorce or parents fighting or any kind of abuse at home? divorce and parents fighting, yes. they fought so bad that just yelling became a trigger to me. do you drink more apple or orange juice? orange juice do you think relationships are hard? honestly, no. just think about it: if you truly love someone, what is so difficult about it? what is your favorite pop-tart flavor? oh my gaaaad the reeses ones. ever had the ‘birds and the bees’ talk with your parents? nope. i learned in family life. do you think you have to be skinny in order to be beautiful? NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!!!!!!! would you ever get gauged ears? noooo. have you ever been in a school talent show? what for? i haven't, but my best friend sang in one!! have you ever dated someone you met online? nope. are you a competitive person? nope. do you believe in aliens? i do not. do you like dancing? not really anymore... it's draining. where are you from? north carolina how much more social are you when you’re drunk? VERY if you had to be named after one of the 50 states, which would it be? dakota is tomboyish, i like that... or georgia, sounds very pretty... what’s your favorite form of exercise? swimming do you like guacamole? NO EW do you consider yourself sexually open minded? sure? how do you feel about porn? it's fucking disgusting. who was your hottest ex? jason was hot, don't care what anyone says. do you want/have kids? i want them. has anyone ever told you that they wanted to marry you? ohhhh, how funny! he's not around anymore! :D do/did you have to wear a uniform to your high school? nah. what’s your favorite flavor of iced tea? i hate tea. have you ever been to a casino? if so, which one(s)? none. do you love or hate olives? eh, neutral. have you ever visited a sex shop? nope. do you like the name cindy for a girl? nope. how many sets of keys do you have for your house? two. do you know anyone who has parkinson’s disease? don't think so. how many cousins do you have? what are their names? OH GOD TOO MANY. have you ever ridden a bicycle through a busy city? i have not. do you use instagram? how often do you post there? i do not. what’s your favorite brand of beer? never tried beer. do you like writing? how often do you write? i love writing! i do it a few times a day. what’s your favorite place to get pizza? domino's! has there ever been a fire inside your house? tell me the story. not while we inhabited it. our old house, however, burned to a crisp inside due to its new residents putting a fucking box on the stove. it was a brick house though, so the exterior was fine and it was rebuilt on the interior. have you ever had a scary encounter with a wild animal? no. how many piercings do you have? only four now... ugh. do you own any sports bras? where’d you get them from? i do not. what’s the most expensive restaurant you’ve ever eaten at? no place all that expensive, honestly. who was the last person to tell you that you were beautiful/cute/good-looking? are you attracted to that person too? chelsea called me beautiful, and she absolutely is, too! has anyone ever called you stuck-up? no. when is the next birthday in your household and whose is it? nicole's is in april. what color are your father’s eyes? brown in winter, would you rather wear a jacket or hoodie? hoodie have you ever voluntarily read the bible? i read some of it, yes. how much is gas where you live? like... $2.20 a gallon. do you have any gay friends? i do. do you like the state you live in? nope. who is your favorite person to watch on youtube? has to be a singular youtuber? then markiplier. how often would you say you take naps? once every few days. have you ever played bejeweled? that game was my mom's SHIT. it was all right. does your mom have a facebook? yes. have you ever been bitten by a rat? no. why do you not wash off your makeup on some nights? being lazy. does blueberry syrup sound good to you, right now? no. did you get lucky on prom night? sex-wise, no, but in my own opinion, i got very lucky, because we made my favorite memory. have you ever fallen for your ex’s best friend? noooo. last song you had stuck in your head? "pity party" by melanie martinez has been stuck in my head for over 24 hours lmao kill me did you ever spill something and actually cry over it? i don't know of a specific occasion, but it's possible i have, especially if i was REALLY hungry or thirsty. do you think that everyone is capable of love? i sure do not. do you believe in astrology? nope. i don't waste my time with it. if you had to wear a hat for the rest of your life, what would it be? fedora. they sexy. would you rather have a musical alarm clock or a regular one? musical!! when you were little, what was your favorite game? the "spyro the dragon" trilogy was my life. do you prefer to wrap gifts or use gift bags? gift bags are more aesthetically pleasing, imho. do you own a trenchcoat? fam i wish. are you currently in a smoking environment? yes. chelsea is allowed to smoke here. if a stranger smiles at you, do you smile back? usually, but i may feel a bit awkward. have you ever known a guy who caused a lot of drama? i sure do. have you ever taken care of a drunk friend? nope. what’s your opinion on people who go hunting for sport? i'm not entirely certain how i feel about it. now if you're hunting and actually eat what you kill, that's 100% cool, it's survival. but killing just to kill? sounds... immoral. but then again, i'm a christian and understand animals were put on the earth for humans, so idk. have you ever gone in a sauna? oh fuck that. sounds like hell to me. out of these colors, which appeals most to you: orange, blue, or green? orange do you believe in finders keepers in most situations? not at all. has anyone in your family fought in any of the wars? not to my knowledge. would you make any changes to your current bedroom? i, technically, do not have a bedroom atm bc we're in the process of moving. what animal have you always wanted as a pet but couldn’t have? meerkats, totes. having them as pets is horrible for them, and i'm pretty sure it's illegal in the u.s., too. do you own many pairs of shorts? i have none. is there a certain song you like to head bang to? surprisingly, i don't headbang. hurts my head. who was or will be the maid of honor/best man in your wedding? colleen! :D what is your favorite lunch meat?  salami, probs. do you still have your tonsils? i do. red or pink? pink! do you have a special talent? lmaoooo where were you born? rocky mount, nc do you own any clothes you wouldn’t wear in front of your mother?  no. what do you think the hardest part of surviving is?  just the pain of it. do you know anyone with a lazy eye? yep. can you remember your parents’ birthdays?  mom's, yes; dad's, no. what piercing do you like most on the opposite sex? lip. tongue is a close second, they sexy. what brand of hair dye do you prefer to use? splat, bc it actually works for my hair. are you any good at applying make up?  no, due to my tremor. are you currently wearing any hair accessories? which ones? i am not. do you like potato chips? bury me in a bag of lays pls gold or silver? gold is there an animal that creeps you out? WHALE SHARKS, slugs, certain spiders and bugs, etc... have you ever seen northern lights? i wish! do your parents smoke? dad does is your favorite animal endangered?  no how old is your best friend?  21 if there was a large spider in your room, would you stay in the room? that shit's gotta get out, no. what color is your cell phone? black do you take vitamins daily?  no what’s one thing you hate about your best friend?  she's racist. be honest: do you illegally download music? yeah. welcome to 2k17. what’s the worst crime someone can commit? rape. you’re painting your room. what color do you choose? hm. i'd really have to see how my new room's going to look, but maybe like, a coffee-colored tan. what dog breed is the cutest ever? akita inus, eeeek! are cherries delicious? ew, no. have you ever experienced a tornado? thank the actual lord jesus christ no. how about a flood? yes. my brother went outside, slid down the slide on our playset, and fucking swam in it lmao do you or have you ever owned a pair of light up shoes? sure, as a kid. what is a current goal you’re trying to achieve? obtain a job. is there something that you thought you would’ve outgrown/gotten over by now, but haven’t? definitely forum meerkat role-play. i started that in middle school ffs dude. how often do you “draw a blank” mentally? A LOT. mainly when i'm talking, which is annoying. have you ever played the sims?   the animal ones, yes.  loved 'em. is your current hair color your natural hair color?   no, but you can see my roots now. can you run a mile in under 7 minutes?   HAHAHAHAHAHAHA do you have your license?   i do not.  i'm a nervous wreck when driving. have you ever sleep walked?   i have not. where was your first job?   gamestop do you remember your second grade teacher’s name?   mrs. whitley what do you like on your sundaes?   i like nothing "on" them have you been blessed with the ability to cook and/or bake?   nope... have you gained more than 5 lbs within the past year?   ... i gained over 100.  it's fucking embarrassing.  i just found out recently the weight gain was moreso a medication i was finally taken off of rather than eating habits, though. do you want kids at some point?   i do. are you lactose intolerant?   no. do you believe in abstaining from sex until marriage?   it's a personal choice.  if you want to, go for it. what is your sexual orientation?   heterosexual have you ever bought clothing online?   yes, i prefer it. do you think shakespeare is difficult to read?   not really, no. do you play solitaire in the computer?   no, dunno how. have you ever received nude pictures from someone?   no. admit it: you had a neopets account.   damn right i did, neopets was/is rad. is there a pet in the room with you right now?   miracle and maxwell are currently playing, yes. how weight conscious are you?   VERY OMG is there anyone else with you right now?   bradley, colleen's husband, is currently watching tv in here w/ me. have you ever been accused of cheating?   nope. have you ever taken a train?   i have not. is being thin really all that great?   not necessarily "thin," but slim, sure.  you're more likely to be physically healthy. have you ever been to a night club?   i haven't. does any accent annoy you?   a veeeery thick southern accent doesn't "annoy" me, but it's aggravating 'cuz i can't understand you. what’s worse: crocs or uggs?   crocs are unholy. do you feel awkward when a stranger sits next to you?   yep. do you have any taylor swift songs on your ipod?   ... i confess to "picture to burn" and "should've said no" kill me pls do you want your tongue or belly button pierced?   tongue, yes.  a belly button ring wouldn't look good on me. do you hate it when people smoke around you?   YEAH what is your blood-type?   a.  don't remember if it's positive or negative tho. are you donating your organs?   yes. do you sleep on your side, stomach or back?   side, always. have you ever been a fan of ‘n sync?   i was a '90s baby.  you know it. do you know anyone that has/had cancer?   mom had kidney cancer. were you a big jump roper back in the day?   i was.  i got to where i could jump in. has a boy/girl ever cheated on their boyfriend/girlfriend for you?   yes.  not that i wanted that to happen. do you like chinese food?   a few things, sure.  just had some last night. do long distance relationships work?   of course.  not my first choice for me personally though. how do you like your eggs?   scrambled, cheesy. mcdonald’s or burger king?   mcd's.

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