#yes i am going to post this everywhere because it too my a lifetime and im really proud of it

[blushyh]

💌 || “either way, we’re not alone…the end is here” ||

#personal #yes i am going to post this everywhere because it too my a lifetime and im really proud of it #hockey #nhl #nhl hockey #nico hischier #jack hughes #luke hughes #timo meier #jesper bratt #dawson mercer #nj devils #new jersey devils #tyler toffoli #john marino #alexander holtz

[fumiku]

Hear ye hear ye!

I come bringing two Dungeon Meshi marchil fanfics to share

Enough

He got crumbs of it in moments, here and there, and it would be more than enough to last the winter. Chil knew how to live on little, with only what he could afford. But love? Love he had had enough of for a lifetime.

I'll start with the shorter one that I wrote first, a quick Chilchuck POV 1.3k words oneshot that's bittersweet if not just plainly sad. It’s about repressing a crush essentially, but the marchil is mostly a front for a character study about Chilchuck’s complex feelings on his marital situation and love in general. I’ve been told many times in comments that even without shipping marchil it was enjoyable, so give it a shot if that sounds interesting!

He soaked her in, like hard bread softening in broth.

Grind Me Down Sweetly

Even years after their journey into the dungeon, Marcille wasn’t quite over her existential dread over short lifespans… And it showed. Every other day, she came by to Chilchuck’s locksmith shop with a shocking lack of locks to smith.

Coffeeshop au except it’s not an au and there’s no coffeeshop. This one is a long oneshot of 17k words, and contains flashbacks that are meant to loosely span over a year. This fic can pretty much be entirely read as platonic. They’re just close friends but they give married energy is all. Slice of life and cozy with a side of banter & tsundere behavior, and existential dread hurt/comfort as the cherry on the sundae. It contains some classic Dungeon Meshi things like storytelling through cooking and sharing meals~ If you like the Marcille and Chilchuck dynamic in canon, this is pretty much just a bunch of that, shenanigans abound!

She clung to her friends like time was always running out.

Blonde hair is the epitome of beauty to him meanwhile his greying hair brings her existential despair. I am composed and collected about this

"I am going to chase you out with a broom"

Some related-ish memes I made!

Extra author notes and marchil rambling under cut

With how chil is so irritable and private about romance and his feelings it makes sense that their romance would have passive-agressive energy. Are they just friends or pining? Oh wouldn’t you like to know. Are they just lightheartedly bantering or is he legitimately pissed or are they blinking in morse code their true feelings at each other? Yes

My post-canon timeline is Chilchuck lives a nice life living alone in his house-shop except his friends all visit him and care, and even though he likes living alone it’s also bittersweet and every corner of his life is haunted by the ones he loves and loved and the moments he had with them. That’s it that’s all I want… (mostly the nice life part lol)

My marchil manifesto is that she grows on him stubbornly like fungal yeast and it brings out his flavor like beer <3 Because she stubbornly puts her nose everywhere and refuses to give up on getting closer to her friends and it makes him open up and repress his feelings less and aaaa <33 Obligatory shout out to the dunmeshi discord serv for engaging with my rambles

For someone who dislikes alcohol I’m having so much fun working beer metaphors and stuff into the writing, Chilchuck has all the fun motifs to play with fr... Traps, lockpicking, married life, work, destitution, starvation, rejection, repression, opening urself up to the world. Give me the most domestic fluff and give it a subtle foundation of angst and hurt comfort 👌

And I do think that Marcille takes a particular interest in Chilchuck especially because he’s so set on being a closed book as well. Yeah she def is like 👀 at him. Aaah the way she wants to meet his family so bad 😭💕 I think she romanticizes him & his family life/idealizes him as a virtuous husband a lot too. Like how she tends to think of things in a more flowery story-like way.

I do compare him to bread and her to soup in that he soaks up in her warm vibes and softens up. Which has become a personal favorite. He was bread, she was soup, can I make it any more obvious /lyr Soggy bread Chilchuck is so funny to me. Like, you know that rock solid bread but then you soak it in soup and then it just becomes the softest crumbliest thing. I think Chilchuck is a really hard bread that will break your teeth if you don’t put him in some soup beforehand. Or wine. I wracked my brain a lot about what food Chil would like (because his Adventurer’s Bible profile just says he love alcohol and hates sweet dishes rip) and I end up giving him a bread motif a lot, since it pairs well with alcohol and whatnot.

With marchil I either do unrequited angst because Chilchuck will NOT allow himself to feel, or the most domestic fluffy shit ever but in a mostly platonic dimension because once again -gestures at Chilchuck- But in a true Marcille "If I was Chilchuck’s wife" Donato fashion she manages to get her nose into the most stubborn’s people stuff like a barnacle and it’s. So married people coded anyways. They’re a lil messed up but it’s ok they’ll iron out those bumps. Ironing because they are gonna do the most domestic chores together 🔥🔥 MARRIEDCORE I TELL YOU I should get around to making more fics and more different vibes though, I already have a bunch of prompts written down~

Even more rambling and headcanons!!

I hc that when he gets his shop all his living quarters are half-foot sized so whenever the party comes to visit they suffer sitting down at the dinner table and whatnot

There’s a very specific horror in not being able to grow old with your loved one… It’s gotta be rough being in a relationship where you don’t mature at the same speed/rate. It must be so heartbreaking to turn around and your lover suddenly looks 70 while you’re still like 26 Chilchuck living until he lives with either Meijack or Flertom or at the castle and spends his days grumbling about people being even more incompetent than they used to be real. He can live longer than 50 🙏 come on peepaw you can make it to 70. He’s got so many friends ready to nurse him, prob while he complains about it. This is why I find elderly half-foots a funny mental picture. For a while I wondered if half-foots aged visually much at all in the traditional sense, and then I remembered these.

In my post-canon headcanons I’ve adopted the idea that Marcille doesn’t do her hair, it’s always someone else making her hairdos like an attendant or Kabru and like maybe Falin learns. In the "it takes a village to raise someone" community mutual aid energy… And the rare times where the task befalls Chilchuck he learns how to put it in a single braid (even if it’s so much hair for him to hold in his small hands all at once rip) because the one time he braided it in two in canon it reminded him of Meijack and gave him psychic damage. WHICH. Ohhh my god you have no idea how much I care about Chilchuck’s daughters now. After writing the first half of Grind Me Down Sweetly I am forever changed I know them all by name and know everything there is to know about them, I am making so many headcanons every day… Meijack wears thigh-high boots because she hates when sand, dirt or snow gets in her shoes- I have fanart coming up of them over at @fuumiku and I’d love making fics centered around them as well eventually yippee The angst of old senile Chilchuck still tying marcille's hair... Old senile chilchuck confusing marcille for one of his daughters… "Have you gotten taller? Oh how much you’ve grown" -breaking his neck looking up at her- I want Chilchuck to get the top notch elder treatment.

Ok this is the alcoholism tangent. I really want to believe Chilchuck can be super old, but… Realistically he’s gonna drink himself to an early grave, he’s a work hard play hard kinda guy.

Marcille would be horrified if she knew the extent of it fr fr, but I do think it’d drive a wedge between them if she tried getting him to lay off of it… If he’s open to it though that’d be so nice and sweet. Hey hey btw did you know, Chilchuck is canonically underweight due to extremely strict dieting and alcohol can act as a good hunger suppressant! Lots of issues to dig into here It’d be cute if his daughters visit him often and collectively keep tabs on him in a caring way. It’s less cute actually beinh the daughter and having to deal with it but- CHILCHUCK IS WORTH IT okay!!! Where’s that meme of "You can fix him? So is 5 other people y’all look like a construction crew" bc this increasingly looks like ‘Marcille Senshi Laios Izutsumi and his family make sure he doesn’t poison himself like a dog with chocolate’ mission.

Truly for some people reason just flies out the window when it comes to alcohol, coherence gives way to excuses. He reminds of someone I know who got a grave disease that’s worsened by alcohol and just. Continues to take it regularly. You know that thing that’s said where "an alcoholic parent will have 2 kids, one will grow to be alcoholic too while the other will never touch a drop of alcohol" and Chilchuck is def the first I think. He gives the vibe that he’d say "An alcoholic parent puts a strain on familial relationships?? Pshh, my father was and look at me! I turned out great!". I don’t think Chil could really get shaken out of it at this point tbh, seems very ingrained in him, would prob fight it back. I relate with my own familial situation ughh. Maybe if he realized how it hurt the people around him and not only himself though…. I’d def like to see him ease up on it. Drinking is often a social activity though. That gives me hope, especially with the whole dunmeshi lesson of sharing meals, that he might be able to/have recontextualized how or when he likes to take alcohol, that alcohol is better when you have others with you and you’re still able to talk and whatnot. Chilchuck says that he’s pretty picky with alcohol tho, like he has specific tastes or a high bar. Laios can ban good beer in the kingdom and then Chilchuck just stops because it all tastes awful and he’s not rich enough to import. The brewery he likes mysteriously burns down in a fireball incident one night. Marcille risks prison for her loved ones part 2, now with diplomatic immunity! ✨

I have hcs about Chil’s family dynamic, about his daughters and how alcoholism or workaholism may have affected everyone (not me inferring that Puckpatti being the most idealistic and optimistic from Chil’s daughters is probably a result from her being the youngest and perhaps Chil being the most often at work during that time and so she was mostly raised by her mother without much involvement from him). That’s a topic for another day though, for now I leave you all with thoughts of Flertom painting flowers on a shitty ceramic mug when she was 3 and Chil begrudgingly asking Marcille advice on picking a birthday gift for Puckpatti :) Oh yeah, because if we look at the timeline in The Adventurer’s Bible and combine it with when Chilchuck said that "Due to certain circumstances he hasn’t seen his wife or daughters in years" in the Senshi backstory chapter, besides letters with Flertom he has seemingly not seen them in 4 years. 4 YEARS. Thank god dungeons disappeared, it took that much for him to retire

#dungeon meshi #fanfiction #chilchuck tims #marcille donato #marchil #CHILCHUCK IS UNDER ATTACK!! #Breaking news #old man who refuses to open his heart and accept love fighting for his life against nosy friend #Everyone thinks Laios is the rabid dog of the party but when it comes to Chilchuck it totally becomes Marcille and I love that for them #My favorite marchil dynamic is that they’re close friends but they give married energy #not casual reminder at all that Chilchuck is canonically underweight #Y’all that follow my meme dumps are getting a sneak peek #So many headcanons and so much rambling oops #A lot of it’s copy pasted from the dunmeshi discord hi friendos #fumiku fanfic #fumiku fics

[glitchcel]

15 people 15 questions!!!!

Tagged by @suzufield thank you yay ^^

This is a long one so it's under the cut and also idgaf I love hearing myself talk I love the sound of my own voice!!!!

Not really, my given name is that of a saint like most names from here tbh, but my mom picked it because it's short and she wanted people from everywhere around the world to be able to say it which is kind of cute. I don't have chosen name I have like 3 nicknames people alternate between, one of them is Ani or AniGC which I use on the internet and I don't plan on picking one I think not having a name is cool!

1. Are you named after anyone?

2. When was the last time you cried?

Nope, too young, and also having my own kids or parenting/fostering is not something I am fit to ever do I don't think I would be a good parent. I'm a lesbian so biological kids are kind of out the window (not really but don't want them regardless, better safe than sorry on this matter I think). I would love to work with kids though at least once in my lifetime.

Genuinely yesterday I love crying I cry all the damn time it helps me fall asleep. What the libs don't want you to know is that depression is actually awesome because you can cry all the fucking time and you don't need sleeping medication! Yay for mental illness!

3. Do you have kids?

4. What sports have you played/do you play?

I did karate for 8 or 9 years from ages of like 6-14, loved it, then I fell down the stairs and fucked up my spine and had to quit. Then I did swimming for a bit but nothing too serious and I quit that because I got bored now I do fuck all.

5. Do you use sarcasm?

Yes a lot but I try to not get too irony poisoned lol, I mostly just say outlandish shit but I do use sarcasm.

6. What's the first thing you notice about people?

I couldn't tell you if you put a gun to my head. I don't fucking know 😭

7. Eye colour?

Brown! ^^

8. Scary movies or happy endings?

This is a strange one I'm not really big on either of these things. When it comes to horror I'm not really a fan of movies I feel like a thing inherently becomes a little less scary when you show it to me or when it's moving you know? Idk I like some of them but I really do enjoy horror books those are awesome. And for the other thing I don't know is it a happy ending for me or the characters? Like I enjoy all plot threads being tied together well but if that doesn't make my fav happy GOOD. Let that bitch suffer. To actually answer the question I think scary movies lmao.

9. Any talents?

Why yes I'm very awesome. Idk I'm a fast learner genuinely that's the biggest thing I've got going on I think almost everything I know I learned on my own accord, it was never given to me, and idk I'm kind of proud of that idgaf if it sounds corny. I can also dislocate my thumb that's kind of cool.

10. Where were you born?

In the hospital (Serbia but I don't like saying where I'm from too much I want to remain a Mysterious Figure On The Computer and now you have to ignore the fact that I frequently post about this)

11. What are your hobbies?

Running the risk of sounding like a loser nerd I love studying I love learning things if I could stay in school for the rest of my life I genuinely would. I love learning how shit works and I'm gonna be honest organic chemistry has been among my favourite things to study ever it's so perfectly logical and awesome one of the best sciences ever for sure. Besides that I like doing fuck all and taking the piss on the internet.

12. Do you have any pets?

Nope! Small apartment and not enough money or time to take care of them. One day I will get a cat though trust.

13. How tall are you?

184cm that's like 6'0" I think?

14. Favourite subject in school?

Idk probably physics. High school level chem was incredibly fucking boring I didn't even have to fart to get good grades. Math and programming were my original beloveds but I fell out of love with them very soon after starting high school due to bad experiences with teachers. So yeah probably physics idk the only subjects I think about at this point are the ones I'll have next year in college I can't fucking wait for atomistics.

15. Dream job?

I feel like a fucking idiot being at my age and telling people I want to be a scientist but like!!!!!! I do I genuinely do!!!! I want to be a researcher and do cool things I want to be entranced by the work I do maybe this sounds so incredibly optimistic because it's likely that if I become a researcher I'll be eating packet noodles for the rest of my life but!! That's my dream!!!

I cannot be assed to tag 15 people I'm sorry also I think everyone and their mom has done this at this point so I'll tag. 3 take it or leave it! Sorry if any of you have done this already 😭. Also if you haven't but don't want to that's fine lmao no pressure

@k-ru-h @viegoinahoodie @schrodingers-catgirl

#THEY LET ME OFF THE FUCKING BUS FINALLY

[epicstuckyficrecs]

Weekly Recap | March 29 - April 4 2021

This week, I started my Epic Stucky Fic Download of 2021 (I'm somewhere in 2015 at the moment, 2014 and before are done), which means I re-read some oldies... I hope you enjoy!

Complete

Heaven and Hell were words to me by this_wayward_life (Post-Endgame, PWP, BDSM | 3K | Explicit): Bucky usually prides himself in being a relatively observant person. He was back in Brooklyn when he and Steve were cramped together in that tiny one-bedroom apartment, he was during his time as the Asset, and he was during that strange period between his defection from Hydra and Steve finding him. So, he's more than a little surprised when Steve manages to keep a secret from him. So it comes as a bit of a shock when Bucky comes home one day after a mission for Steve to take his hands and whisper that he's got a surprise for him. (Part 3 of No grave can hold my body down)

💙 Diving In The Deep End by musette22/ @musette22​ (Evanstan RPF | 19K | Explicit): Scarlett raises a perfectly manicured eyebrow. “You’re telling me that you never once in your entire life, not even during theater school, locked lips with another guy?”

💙 you know I'd quench that thirst by napricot (Canon, Bucky/Steve/Peggy | 38K | Explicit): Steve Rogers is very much not a virgin. Not before the serum, and sure as hell not after it, when the serum ramps up his libido along with everything else. Too bad everyone thinks Captain America is a sexless historical symbol. Or: the tragicomic sexual odyssey of Steve Rogers, and how it begins, and then much later ends, with Bucky Barnes.

i got it bad for you by howdoyousleep/ @howdoyousleep3​ (Evanstan RPF, PWP, Daddy kink | 4K | Explicit): “Yeah? Older?” “Yeah yeah, just…I don’t know, the beard? This fucking hair? Just…I don’t know— older,” he manages to chuckle nervously, gasping into Chris’ mouth when their squirming leads their dicks into lining up beautifully. Seb aches, yearns, mouth watering as he mewls, both hands in Chris’ hair as he licks into Sebastian’s mouth. And then Chris pulls back, breathes hot on Sebastian’s cheek, his bottom lip, croons, “Like your Daddy?”

💙 The Wedding Planner(’s Assistant) by crinklefries/ @spacerenegades (Shrinkyclinks | 40K | Teen): Bucky Barnes is in a bit of a conundrum. For example, on the one hand, he’s the former extremely polished, brutally efficient, and impressively ruthless brainwashed weapon of mass murder for the secret Nazi arm of the United States government. On the other hand, he has an uncontrollable crush on the cute blond wedding planner who lives next door.

Accidental husbands... by darter_blue/ @darter-blue​ (Shrunkyclunks, Accidental Marriage | 2K | Mature): Or the one where Bucky finds himself accidentally married to a superhero. And he definitely isn't mad about it.

WIP

💙 and the river flows beneath your skin by Deisderium/ @deisderium​ (Boarding School AU, Soulmates | 9/? | 70K | Mature): In which Steve and Bucky are forced to room together their senior year at boarding school, and accidentally soul bond to each other even though they kind of hate each other. All they have to do to get out of it is not kiss each other for a year so the accidental bond will fade. How hard could it be?

Re-Read

💙 (760): I literally cut myself out of my pants. Waste. Of. Money. by relenafanel/ @relenafanel​ (Modern AU | 6K | Mature): Hey friend of Sam’s can I get an opinion on this outfit? Bucky texted, attaching the selfie taken in Sam’s bathroom mirror. He received an answer almost immediately. Bucky was almost expecting a lecture, or at least a concerned question about who had stolen Sam’s phone. He got neither. Or: Bucky strikes up a flirtation with a stranger over text message in the month leading up to Valentine's Day.

💙 Bucky Barnes and his Big Beefy Blonde by Kellyscams/ @thebestpersonherelovesbucky​ (Shrunkyclunks, PWP | 6K | Explicit): Bucky Barnes loves Big, Beefy, Blondes. What he loves most about Big, Beefy, Blondes is having no string attached sex with them. Until he meets a Big, Beefy, Blonde that just happens to be Steve Rogers -- Captain America who's only been declared alive a few months ago. This is one that could go down as Bucky's fuck of a lifetime. That's if he can avoid these pesky feelings that start showing up out of nowhere.

💙 Bucky Barnes and his Big Beefy Blonde Part 2 by Kellyscams/ @thebestpersonherelovesbucky​ (Shrunkyclunks, Strangers to Lovers | 16K | Explicit): Bucky Barnes once spent eight glorious, sex-filled days with the Big, Beefy, Blonde fuck of a lifetime -- the recently defrosted Steve "Captain America" Rogers. Three months later, things aren't exactly the way Bucky imagined they'd be. This Big, Beefy, Blonde, really may have changed him forever.

💙 Series: You Make Me Feel Like I Am Home Again by Taste_is_Sweet/ @taste-is-sweet​ (Canon, Post-Winter Soldier | 19 works | 127K | Teen): Connected stories about Bucky and Steve: the world's most adorable relics.

if ye be worthy by hitlikehammers (Post-AOU | 2K | Teen): “Do you know what that is?” Bruce asks, voice low, but that’s not really new, for him. “It’s Thor’s hammer-thingy,” Bucky shrugs. “Look, man, I know it was shitty to give it a swing without him knowing, I’m sor—” “You swung it?”

💙 For Words to Say it Right by Squeaky, Taste_is_Sweet/ @taste-is-sweet​ (Modern AU, Soulmates | 25K | Teen): Turns out when you're missing an arm, everyone asks are you okay? all the damn time. And when your soulmark is one of the most common questions in English, it's even worse. Generic soulmarks are a bitch.

💙 Just Hold Me by shanology/ @shanology (Post-Winter Soldier | 10K | Explicit): Bucky Barnes is living in Avengers Tower, and all he wants in the world is to be cuddled. He sets out to get his new friends to give him the snuggling he needs, because it's not something he can ask of Steve yet. Steve doesn't see it in quite the same way. Also, there are Avengers movie nights, possibly with a showing of The Covenant. Just saying.

💙 Imprint by hetrez (Post-Avengers | 7K | General): "The next day, Steve and the other Avengers are just settling into a meeting on the flight deck when there's a muffled yell, and Alvarez falls out of the ceiling." -- Or, Steve builds a training program, a team, and new life for himself. (Part 1 of Make Way For Ducklings)

💙 Awakenings by hetrez (Canon divergent - Winter Soldier | 19K | Explicit): Bucky says, "Do you know, after you leave -- every time you leave, after the doctors have taken my mask off, I walk around this place and try to find everywhere you've been. Was your hand on the toaster? Did you lean against the doorway? Where were you on the couch? I haven't seen your face in seventy-five years, not really." (Part 2 of Make Way For Ducklings)

#stucky #stucky fic #stucky fanfic #stucky fanfiction #stucky fic rec #Weekly Recap

[chrisevansgoodgirl]

light of my life, fire of my loins. be a good baby, do what i want.

summary: requested: Andy Barber gives me such strong sugar daddy vibes I haven’t watched the show but he just looks like the kinda guy who would spoil the shit outta someone

warnings: smut everywhere. and you know, sugar daddy shit, so. also, doesn’t make a lot of sense. I have a lot more that I actually wrote, I just wasn’t sure where I was going with this. so...prompt sugar andy daddy if you want more???

word count: around 10,400

pairing: andy barber  x reader

a/n: anon! I want you to know that I started working on this as soon as you requested it! I just wanted to make sure I really got sugar daddy andy down and that it wasn’t steve rogers that I was writing. I am so sorry bc you definitely deserved this a very long time ago! if there are any typos, I apologize, I just needed to get this posted before work.

When you met Andy, you had been juggling three jobs, gaining more debt than you would probably ever be able to pull off even with a degree, fairly sucky grades caused by how much you worked, resulting in stress, anxiety, all that great shit that comes along with being someone in America that dares to want to pursue higher education.

After a few months dating Andy, you had one job that you only kept for autonomy reasons, shrinking debt, excellent grades, and truly, no stress at all. Instead of spending a night waiting tables at the restaurant near the campus, where disgusting men would flirt with you because you were on the clock and literally could not leave, you were in a tiny ass dress, covered in diamonds, drinking champagne, and trying not to be too obvious about the cum dripping down your thighs.

Obscene was often a word that you played with in your mind whenever you were with Andy. Your outfits were indecent because he loved seeing as much of your skin as he possibly could. Your behavior was shameless, you showed up, you laughed, you hung onto him the entire night with the smuggest of smiles. Your willingness, especially in public, was vulgar, the way you let him touch you in front of everyone. Salacious. Indecorous. Immoral. Debauched.

These parties that he took you to were only half of it. According to his son, Jacob, Andy hadn’t been one for socializing before the divorce. He claimed that this was something new his father picked up, something that he theorized was the consequence of loneliness. You figured that you also fell under that category. These people weren’t actually his friends and you weren’t actually his girlfriend.

Andy wanted a distraction and you were just fucked up and high-maintenance enough to be perfect for the job. Getting into the swing of things had been quite the task at the start, much to your surprise. Who didn’t want a gorgeous man to spoil them? Apparently you, if your earlier behavior was any indication.

You had started this with wanting to be as professional as possible. When you had pictured how this would look, it was you listening to him speak whenever he wanted, you would respond when prompted but it would be short, succinct, and your main concern would be maintaining your physical attractiveness. You tried to think of him as your employer, you were his employee, and that meant that there needed to be respect and boundaries. You pictured a lot of pretending. Pretending to laugh, pretending to care, pretending to enjoy his company, pretending to come.

You had also thought you were going to smart. This wasn’t some stupid Lifetime movie and you had dreams and goals and if you played your cards right, this man could put you on a sure path to reaching all you had ever hoped to accomplish. At least, that was what you were telling yourself when you’d had the mental quandary: were you a prostitute?

Thankfully, both phases of resistance had been dropped—possibly around the first time he went down on you. You were no expert, but “professional” probably barred him from fucking you in about 90% of his chosen locations. And whether you were a “prostitute”, an “escort”, a “hooker”, or whatever other demeaning word anyone could come up with, was another unimportant matter. Anyone could call you anything, at the end of the day, you had money.

It was supposed to be clean, a black and white exchange where you showed up and he paid you. At any point, you could step on the brakes, he could step on the brakes—something you had once found relief in, but was now a source of insecurity, not that you would ever tell him that. He didn’t need to know about your life, what you wanted to do after school, who your friends were, your shaky relationship with your parents, the reasons why someone like you wanted to enter this relationship.

But he asked about those things because rules seemed to either not exist to him, or they just weren’t meaningful. And you hadn’t felt pressured to answer or anything, if that was the case, you would have just lied. The fact of the matter was that eventually you told him these things because you didn’t mind him knowing about your life.

He was not supposed to be kind or smart or interesting. He was not supposed to be a good guy. Clearly, he didn’t get the memo. There should be an official organization that lets men know you can’t just be perfect and spoil someone if you look anything like Andrew Barber.

It was the middle of April in Massachusetts and that meant it was still just a little too chilly for the slinky slip Andy had picked out for you, but that was what all the champagne was for. You were buzzing and it wasn’t just that you were getting drunk. Summer was approaching and he often spoke about all of the things he wanted to do with you now that you had more free time and he gave you these looks and you could just get lost in his eyes and plans even though you knew better.

You had been doing this long enough that people had finally stopped staring. The first few times Andy brought you, they were blatant and downright rude, but it wasn’t like you could do anything about it. Despite the disproportionate wealth shared amongst this group, it wasn’t too often that someone brought along a much younger woman that they were undoubtedly paying. Most of these men were married and either brought their wives along or tales of their affairs.

The rich people here treated this like an elite group, so when people like you were around, not everyone was welcoming. The other few women that had similar situations to yours were kind enough and tried to get to know you better—shared experiences create great friendships, right? Andy didn’t think so, he discouraged any type of communication and claimed that it was because they didn’t tend to stick around long. You theorized he just didn’t want you spending time with anyone that wasn’t him.

The woman across from Andy, Francesca, had been around for as long as you could remember. She had long, dark brown hair, flawless eyebrows, a great jawline, and an even greater ass. She was a few years older than him and several older than you.

You often pondered just how much more interesting than you she was. See, she had never hidden that she was attracted to him, but Andy seemed oblivious. You couldn’t tell if he actually was or was just pretending not to notice. You told yourself it was deeper than just the age, that there was another, much different reason that he wasn’t interested in her.

But, of course, you couldn’t ask. You couldn’t talk to him about other women because that was teetering on the edge of possessiveness and jealousy. Those were two of the few luxuries that you would be denied. Romance would not be found here, just a lot of mutual lust and understanding.

She laughed at something he said, pulling you back into the moment. As you sipped on your champagne, you returned to your favorite activity at these parties: people watching. You were starting to pick up on some of the drama and whatever blanks were left at the end of the nights, Andy usually filled them for you.

There were certain types of men that always bred the most scandalous scenarios. Those are the same few men that had only just recently stopped trying to buy you away from Andy by offering you more money than he was paying you. Yes, technically, that was what you were here for, but Andy was not like these men.

For starters, most everyone in attendance was a lawyer. They followed the model of: the worse the job was, the better the pay. Unlike them, Andy didn’t represent sleazy, rich rapists or murderers. That was just the start of the differences. He didn’t get so drunk that he caused a scene at these parties, he didn’t touch drugs, and he wasn’t going through some tragic midlife crisis that he was trying to placate with cars or women.

When you looked back at the pair, Andy was texting and Francesca was eyeing your hand around the glass were sipping from. She was looking at your rings—oh, your rings. You loved your rings.

Originally, you’d thought you weren’t going to ask for or accept anything stupid. You just needed your bills paid, your rent, your car. You wanted to be able to eat more than once a day. Andy quickly realized that you wouldn’t ask, if he wanted you to have something, he was just going to have to give it to you.

(On your very first date, he’d given you a diamond bracelet. You had been stunned, maybe even a little uncomfortable. It was hard to accept such expensive items from strangers. However, you did like it and wore it almost every day even though it made no sense with most of your outfits. You’d simply grown fond of it because it had come from him.)

(On the fourth date, he gave you a three-strand diamond necklace that strongly resembled a collar. You adored it, not the way you adored your rings, but it still gave you butterflies whenever he would clasp it around your neck and then kiss the skin directly under it. These were things that he’d called gifts, but you recognized them for what they actually were, signs of ownership.)

The first ring had been a reward. You’d made it through midterms, so he took you to the jewelry shop that’s on the way back to your apartment from his house. After three hours and a lot of wine—you’d needed to be drunk the first few times you knew he was spending money on you—you left with the tiara ring for your pinky finger. It was a loud piece of intricate curls on top of and underneath a row of tiny hearts. This ring was the most special, the first, you rarely ever took it off—only for school.

The second had been an apology. He’d convinced you to spend the night at his house even though he knew you really didn’t want to. He had kissed your neck and your face and had two of his fingers inside you, he had whispered all the things he still wanted to do to you that night. Around two in the morning, you’d gone to get water from the kitchen. You were in a pair of panties and one of Andy’s shirts that you didn’t bother to button up. That was how you were dressed when you met his son for the first time. Two days later, you had the butterfly ring in its spot at the base of your index finger. It was gaudy and expensive but did little to quell your anger and humiliation. You loved it, nonetheless.

The third had been an anniversary present. This relationship had reached its 100-day mark, he took you to his favorite restaurant, the same one he had taken you to for your first date. Which wasn’t romantic at all, there were a lot of terms being discussed. This time had been much different. He asked you for your hand and slipped the ring onto your third finger without a word, he merely eyed the only empty finger with the unstated promise that that finger would soon have one as well. It was this huge oval cut diamond that covered the width of your finger, atop two bands of smaller but still fairly large identically cut diamonds.

A little less than three weeks after that, it had been…well, you still weren’t quite sure what the fourth ring was. It wasn’t often that Andy didn’t drive you. On Tuesdays and Thursdays, you had only one class so he would drop you off and pick you up during his lunch break so you could get coffee together. On Wednesdays and Fridays, you had more than one class so he would drop you off and he would pick you up when he got off work.

One Wednesday morning, your first class had been canceled so you ended up driving yourself. Andy took Wednesdays and Fridays as his early days off because he didn’t want you waiting in the library too long after your final class let out, so those had become the simple nights when he would come over to your apartment even though he really didn’t like it there—you figured he was struggling with the urge to buy you a much bigger apartment, one that would probably coincidentally be closer to his house as well.

You had made the plan to cook dinner that night so before heading home, you drove to the grocery store… Fortunately, no one was hurt. Unfortunately, at your place just in front of the stoplight, a car in the turn lane drove right into your car. Honestly, it wasn’t a big deal considering your life of absolute privilege and you just wanted to get the whole thing over with.

Andy wasn’t quite as level-headed. The other driver was a middle-aged man so Andy felt no reluctance in throwing a fit. You had been torn between being humiliated that he was fussing so much over you, flattered that he cared, angry that he was treating you like you were a fragile vase, or maybe just a little turned on because he was so angry.

That night, instead of your place, he took you to his house and spoiled the hell out of you. He undressed you and kissed you everywhere, he bundled you up in one of his sweaters and a throw blanket, sat you down on the bed, and made you hot chocolate. You were not allowed to lift a single finger. That was the first night you spent at his house, and since Jacob wasn’t there, Andy didn’t hesitate to fuck you for hours and make you scream as loudly as he wanted you to.

The next morning, when you woke up, the black velvet box was set on the pillow between you and him. He was propped up on the headboard with his laptop and the clock on his bedside table was saying that it was well past noon. Clearly, he decided to stay home from work and if there wasn’t jewelry in front of you, you would have given him a lecture.

It was a princess cut diamond—which he would later explain with ‘you are my princess’—with a double halo and a diamond-encrusted band. It was smaller than all the rest but somehow just went perfectly.

You weren’t bragging, at least not in a petty way. It was just that any time you noticed someone staring at your hand, you couldn’t help but try to draw more attention to it, or the other jewelry Andy showered you in.

You supposed that maybe that meant something, maybe during your little back and forth a few hours prior when he had accused you of being spoiled, he was onto something. Regardless, the only person who could be blamed for that was him.

You almost got lost in the diamonds on your hand when Andy reached out to you, pulling some hair over your shoulder. You looked up at him, he was smiling softly. “I’m sorry, did you say something?”

“Are you ready to go?”

He really didn’t like these parties; he was always the one that wanted to leave and would slyly place the blame on you. You were tired, you weren’t feeling well, you had a tough week and you just wanted to go home. You never minded because it wasn’t as if you got anything out of these parties either, and if that was the easiest way to pull him out of there, so be it. It was Sunday anyway, he had to work tomorrow and you had to go over your weekly schedule with him before the night was over.

“Sure.”

It started as a quiet drive, just like it always did, but then he placed his hand on your thigh. You glanced at him, arching an eyebrow. He simply smirked and kept his gaze on the road. You opened your legs wide, guiding two of his fingers inside you. “Can you feel your cum in me?”

“Not enough.”

“You’re the one that made me stand for almost an hour.”

“I’ll fill you up again before you go to class tomorrow.”

You snorted. “Lucky me.”

He shot you a look. “Oh, you don’t like it?”

“Never said that.”

“Well, if you don’t, I don’t need to—”

“I was kidding,” you whined.

He gave you a look, pretending he was unconvinced. “You’ve had an attitude all night.”

“You spanked me,” you reminded. The memory, the sore feeling on your ass whenever you sat down, had kept you wet all night. “Hard.”

“You talked back.”

You had because you wanted him to spank you. The first time he had, it was quite the discovery. It was after a drink, after you were feeling a little daring. He told you no, and you really hated when he did that. You couldn’t even remember what you had said, but it was bad, it was enough to get your skirt torn down, you bent over his knee, and well, the rest was a blissful blur.

This time it was because he was in a mood. You were getting dressed and he was watching you and that always meant something. You weren’t sure what exactly, but there were a few things you picked up on with Andy. When he wanted to be in control, he didn’t necessarily just want you to submit completely. When he gave you a look, you knew that he wanted you to fight just a bit. So, he told you to wear a specific dress and you refused initially. Cue the spanking. After your whole body felt hot and flushed and your legs were shaking and your cunt was dripping, you obliged, and he was so damn smug about it.

“I’m sorry.”

“Yeah, because my fingers are inside you and you want me to make you come.”

“Well…yes.”

He laughed and you couldn’t help but smile. You loved the sound of it. Andy so rarely laughed but you took it to mean that he felt comfortable enough around you. “If you can be patient, I’ll fuck you when we get home.”

Home. His home. Whatever. “And if I can’t?”

“Then you’re going to have to wait until the morning and I might not feel like letting you come. Deal?”

You nodded. “Deal.”

But he didn’t play fair. He drove slower than usual, fingers still buried inside you, and he moved them. A lot. He tried to cover it with stupid things, like driving over a pothole or making a sharp turn. If you moved your hips once, just barely, you lost. So, you sat there, completely still, gripping the seat like it was a lifeline.

Upstairs, you waited for him to make the rounds. Jacob wasn’t there, thankfully, but that didn’t mean he hadn’t been there earlier. Andy went around every door and window and made sure they were locked.

In that time, you got undressed and waited for him. You had a couple of red marks across your ass that you could see in the mirror on the opposite end of the bedroom. He always liked seeing your skin marked up in some way if he was the reason.

When he entered the room, you were sitting on the edge of the bed. “Stand up.”

You quickly did so, turning your back to him so he could see your ass. His palms lightly felt along the marked skin there. “It doesn’t hurt.”

He rarely asked, but you found that he fucked you better when he knew for sure. You just started letting him know and it seemed he trusted you enough to voice any boundaries you had if he ever crossed them.

One hand slowly trailed up your spine and slid across to your shoulder. He pressed you down quickly and you caught yourself on the mattress with both hands. You could hardly stay still as you heard his belt and zipper.

He easily pushed into you, body flush against yours. He let you adjust around him, staying perfectly still as he leaned over you and kissed your back, neck, and shoulders. Andy didn’t move until you angled your hips and pressed back a little more, whimpering nonsense.

This was so unlike the two times earlier. In the closet, after he spanked you, he sat you on top of his lap and made you ride him. At the party, in the bathroom, he stood you in front of the mirror and gently fucked you until he had filled you with his cum. This was fast, rough, and maybe a little detached if you really thought about it.

Andy took your waist in both hands and held you in place as he pounded into you relentlessly. Slapping skin, your soaking wet pussy, the bed banging against the wall on his particularly hard thrusts, these had become noises you were more than used to, noises you had grown to crave. Being with Andy was never supposed to be like this, but you didn’t have a single complaint.

You buried your face in the blankets, hands clutching tight at the sheets around you as your muffled screams filled the room. You knew he was close when his hands began to wander. One carded through your hair and pressed you down more, the other moved under you to reach your clit.

“You were such a good girl in the car.”

Your response was unintelligible, but yes. You had been more than just good. You had waited for him even though he was being a tease, and now, you wanted what he owed you. Which he didn’t deny you, not for a second.

He made you come. Once. Twice. Maybe three times. But after that, it was all just nonsense, satisfying, endless nonsense. He was still holding you by the hair, but he’d turned your head so you could breathe, and he was still circling his fingers around your clit.

Your back arched, allowing him in deeper—one of the tells of your approaching orgasm. You felt your pussy tighten around his fingers and began begging him to let you come. Even in this hazy, fucked-out state, you wanted to please him, you wanted his praise and approval.

He gave you permission like he always did and fully intended to fuck you through it. He only paused because he felt you spilling down his thighs, felt the wet sheets against his skin, heard light drops on the hardwood floor. Fuck.

He pulled you against him immediately, your sweat-slicked back to his chest. One arm draped across your chest, the opposite hand wrapped around your neck. You were watching him, eyes clear with curiosity. “You just squirted, princess.”

You blinked and attempted to voice your confusion. Problem was, his hips were still moving. You had no time to recover and there was no chance your brain had at making sense of anything in that moment.

“It was fucking hot and you’re going to do it again.”

Needless to say, you skipped classes the next day.

Andy liked to celebrate the monthly anniversaries.

He was big on creating traditions, you assumed that was just that part of him that had been hardwired to crave a normal family. He hadn’t told you much about his life and you didn’t want to pry—his dad wasn’t around and his mom had been but she died when he was pretty young. He shared this only after he asked about your parents.

The most personal he had ever gotten with you was one night when he had intended to take advantage of your drunk and thoroughly fucked state, obviously convinced that you wouldn’t remember the question in the morning. Do you believe in love?

It was weird given the setting and that you and Andy simply didn’t talk like that. It was dangerous because this could never be more than it was. You were both only allowed feelings of lust, maybe even obsession, but nothing of the usual sense. And Andy was so strict and controlled, you were surprised he would cross any sort of line.

You tried to play it off, tried to tell him that you had more important things to worry about. He didn’t like that response. He pressed because he was just like that, his career was all about pressing and sometimes, he brought it home. You ended up telling him that you viewed marriage as a waste of time. Your parents divorced, all your aunts and uncles, even the younger friends who got married out of high school were on the fast track to messy court dates and vicious custody battles. You also pointed out his situation. If someone as perfect as him couldn’t stay married, no one could.

It was then that he told you the happiest moments of his life were carving pumpkins or decorating the Christmas tree with Jacob. He had loved Valentine’s Day with Laurie, he was the one that had always insisted on doing something. He even looked forward to the smaller holidays, Independence Day, Memorial Day, any day that got Jacob out of school and him an extra day off so they could have a cookout in the backyard.

It wasn’t his intent, but it had sort of created a barrier between you two. You wished he still had his family even if that meant never meeting him. He was that kind of man, a good man, and you could tell that it weighed on him every day that he no longer had his perfect family.

He’d never pictured his life like this, a failed marriage, a child separated between his parents. He never would have entertained the idea of needing someone like you. He didn’t say that last part, but you knew. Sometimes, it was just in the way he looked at you. You feared he would grow to resent you one day, but you always tried to push that thought far away.

Regardless, the distance was there and he realized it even if he didn’t say it. There was also the matter that school had just let out meaning you had zero excuses for saying no to him when he proposed the trip to New York that would coincide with the 7-month mark of your relationship.

You’d never been and you’d always wanted to see Moulin Rouge on Broadway. He’d decided to drive to New York because you had once made the mistake of telling him you hated airports. It was a short road trip, one you weren’t entirely unwelcoming of. Especially not when he kept his hand on your thigh most of the time. It was late when you made it to the hotel and surprisingly, he had no issues with you diving straight into bed.

The morning was quite different. The hotel window had a perfect view of the city and he felt inclined to fuck you against it as soon as you both woke up. Then, he wanted to take you shopping. For nearly two entire days, he spoiled the hell out of you. Anywhere you wanted to go, he would take you. Anything you glanced at, he wanted to buy it for you.

On the night of the show, he finally took you to Victoria’s Secret. You’d seen pictures of it before, but you had not anticipated how beautiful it would look in person. You went crazy, you took him to the fitting room and tortured him on every single floor with both clothing and lingerie. Several hours had been devoted to teasing him and he let you know that after the show, you would regret your decisions.

Before you managed to get him back to the hotel so you could get ready, he needed to spend another awful amount of money on you. There was a jewelry shop just down the street from Victoria’s Secret and he couldn’t let you leave the state—as he claimed when he saw you frown—without at least one diamond.

You wanted nothing, but you knew the chances of him allowing that were nonexistent. So, you told yourself to keep it small, but one thing that had become a harsh reality since you met Andy: you were a sad, pathetic victim to larger, shinier diamonds. You immediately fell in love with a short string of sizable heart-shaped diamonds, the one larger heart dangling in the center is what had caught your eye.

Regardless of this terrible habit you had developed—this feeling that you craved, the pure joy that you got from people knowing that Andy was buying you diamonds—you tried to protest when he caught you staring. You just wanted a bracelet, really. He rarely ever gave you bracelets.

Instead, he sent you off to get coffee. You knew exactly why that was. He often got rid of you when he was about to make decisions that he knew would make you feel bad. You wanted to refuse, but what was better? Blissful ignorance or sitting there just watching him toss out the money for that necklace?

Learning what Andy liked at Starbucks had been a process. He didn’t like his coffee sweet so that eliminated 90% of the menu. His home coffee was some brand you’d never even heard of, the shops he went to were all nearly older than him. He liked cappuccinos with extra espresso, but he preferred the straightforward coffee he would get anywhere else, so he claimed. However, you knew he liked pumpkin spice lattes. You planned to prove it the day they released them for the year.

When he came out, the bag in his hand was much larger than one that would be used for just a necklace. He smiled at the horrified look you shot him and claimed that he was given a great deal for the entire set.

While you were getting ready for the show, you realized that this was the most normal you had felt with Andy in a while. There had been tension that neither of you wanted to address, but this trip was making you realize just how stupid that tension was. One day, this was going to end. It was impractical to think an arrangement like this was going to have a long shelf-life.

Shouldn’t you just enjoy it? Being here with him was fun. You liked the city and all the noise and bustle. You also liked being with him away from home and the lives you two had created long before you met one another. This was just you two, isolated together. Normally, you couldn’t ask that of him. He had his job and he was a father and you understood that completely, but you liked this.

During the show, Andy whispered to you several times. He couldn’t wait to be fucking you. He couldn’t wait to taste you. He couldn’t wait to hear you scream and cry and beg. He placed your hand over his lap just so you could feel how hard he was.

Back at the hotel, and maybe it was because of all that he had said, you didn’t want to tease. Almost immediately, you stripped completely naked—fuck all of that expensive lingerie, apparently.

He finally gave you your diamonds. He started with the necklace and you couldn’t even be upset. It fit you so well, you loved seeing it against your skin, you loved seeing how he looked at you while you were wearing it. Then, he gave you the matching bracelet. You had said you wanted a bracelet, right? You couldn’t complain. The earrings, you told yourself, were fine because you didn’t have a pair of diamond earrings yet.

You felt weighed down by these diamonds but not in a bad way. You felt tied to him, owned like you were one of his prized possessions. It was temporary, you reasoned, so was there any real harm in that? He watched you climb off the bed he had ordered you on mere minutes ago, arching an eyebrow as you lowered to your knees before him.

Andy rarely had the patience to let you go down on him, despite loving the feeling. Mostly, his main source of pleasure came from the things he could make you feel. He also couldn’t understand what you got out of letting him fuck your mouth. You weren’t much of a fan before Andy, you could admit since you had a total of zero pleasant experiences, but you felt that this was your only way of spoiling him.

It was nonnegotiable tonight, you would throw a fit if needed. You looked up at him for a moment, almost asking for permission. But not quite, maybe more for compliance. His promise was made by unzipping his pants for you and then letting his hands fall to his sides.

You took him out of his pants and opened your mouth. Staring up at him again, you took as much of him as you could. He was fine until he felt you gag, then his jaw set and his hands became fists.

“Fuck,” he breathed.

Moaning around him, you slowly pulled back. One of his hands disappeared in your hair before you could get too far. He had to keep you there for a moment, attempting to calm himself down because he could tell how much you wanted this.

He brought his hand forward, touching your cheekbone. “You’re so fucking beautiful.” He slipped his fingers under your jaw and thrust his hips forward gently. He didn’t go too deep and it was at a torturous pace that he pulled out. This man’s control was one of the sexiest things about him. It made him seem so powerful and stable and that was what you craved more than anything in this world.

“Touch yourself,” he directed.

Your hand dove down, two fingers instantly burying inside your pussy. You moaned loudly around him and he cursed again.

“You want me to fuck your face?”

You nodded as well as you could.

He nodded, taking another deep breath. His hold under your face tightened just a bit, thumb and fingers pressing into your jaw. He didn’t thrust, instead, he moved you with his hand. Each time he brought you down on him, he made sure to choke you a little because he knew you liked it.

By the time he was close, your jaw was sore, made worse by his tight hold, your ribs hurt from how hard you had been gagging, the back of your throat was testament that he had lost it a couple of times, and went a bit harder than he meant to. Your entire hand was wet, your thighs shaking and your hips still rolling.

He told you to come with him, told you he wasn’t going to until you did. You pressed the heel of your palm down on your clit and fucked your hand harder. Andy brought you down as far as your throat would allow and held you there, moaning as you attempted to swallow around him.

His hand slid down to your neck and he began to squeeze when he knew you were close, hips moving fast and sloppy. You placed one hand on his thigh to keep yourself balanced, turning your gaze up to him once more.

You felt him start to spill down your throat. He moved harder, hips jerking and cock slamming into the back of your throat each time. The cum that was in your mouth was now beginning to slip out from the sides of your lips.

He pulled out before he was done, one hand in your hair to angle your head back, his other hand stroking his cock as his cum leaked out along your jaw and neck. “God damn, you are fucking gorgeous.”

You stared at him as the tip of your tongue came out to the corner of your mouth where you felt some of his cum.

Immediately, he pulled you onto your feet and shoved you back onto the bed. He was on top of you instantly, using his fingers to collect his cum off your skin so he could feed it to you. As you laid there, licking his fingers, he brought his opposite hand down to your pussy.

“I love feeling your cunt after you’ve just finished.” He teased you several times, just dipping the tips of his fingers in before he pushed two inside you.

You whimpered, lips closed around his fingers. Once he pulled them out, your mouth was free to speak, which was rarely ever a good thing when you two were in bed. “Well, are you going to get inside me, or did you need a minute?”

He arched an eyebrow—it didn’t bother him when you joked about his age, but he pretended it was grounds for true punishment. “Maybe I need several minutes, I guess I just have to keep you coming until then, huh?”

You hummed in protest.

He brought his hand up to grab your jaw, wet fingers pressing tightly into your skin. His lips hovered over yours as he asked, “You’re such a fucking brat, you know that?”

You smiled. “Yes.”

He scoffed. “You’re shameless. I don’t know how you got this bad.”

But he did know, and he would do whatever he possibly could to ensure that you would just get worse. Andy’s success was measured by your bratty episodes. It showed how comfortable you had become with him but also just how much you wanted him.

For the record, you weren’t accusing Andy of being some evil mastermind who had planned this whole…ordeal. That would be insane because it would imply a lot of things that you knew were simply not true about him. He wasn’t a bad person, he was actually one of the best that you had ever met.

But…he was a lawyer. He had picked up some bad habits that came along with that. That meant, that though he didn’t plan this, he was enjoying it thoroughly. In short, you were accusing him of being an opportunist.

The first time you met Andy, he had brought Jacob to that hellhole of a restaurant you used to work at. So, technically Jacob knew you, but he was on his phone the entire time and they were low-maintenance customers, so he’d maybe seen you for a total of 5 minutes over their 2-hour stay. Andy did come back and bring Jacob several times, but it was always the same. He never paid you any mind, and why would he?

So, when you “met” him, half-naked and covered in bruises and bites—something that still made you glare at Andy if you thought about it too much—Jacob already knew you. He just didn’t know you. And after that one encounter, you couldn’t imagine what he thought of you.

This made you realize just how worried you were about how temporary you knew you were. Andy hadn’t said anything so you wondered if Jacob just didn’t tell Laurie. You wondered if she would even care if he had told her. Maybe Andy did this all the time, maybe she just couldn’t be bothered because they weren’t married anymore. You had no idea because Andy rarely spoke to you about Jacob and never spoke about Laurie.

Your grand solution was just trying to avoid Jacob at all costs. Mostly, you were successful, and Andy didn’t seem to mind, per se, but he did not encourage it. He loved his son and he didn’t want part of his life to be completely unknown to Jacob, but you kind of did.

It was one terrible morning when you were a bit hungover from the night before and Andy was making breakfast. He’d just set down a plate of pancakes in front of you, kissed you on top of the head because you were letting him baby you, when Jacob came in, so you didn’t even have an excuse to leave. It would be pathetically clear what you were doing. Were you seriously scared of a 17-year-old boy?

Yes. But you could pretend you weren’t, and you would pretend. There was no other choice. It wasn’t until you were all sitting down for the world’s most awkward breakfast that Andy’s phone rang. He often got calls in the morning and you never minded. Until then.

You shot him a threatening look that he clearly didn’t take seriously. He excused himself and with each step further away, your desire to suddenly die increased.

There was more painfully awkward silence and you wracked your brain for ways to fix it. You could ask him about school, his plans for the day. But that was the easy part. How were you going to word the question casually, unforced? You didn’t have to think on that much longer because he decided to speak first.

“Is my dad your, like, sugar daddy?”

And before you were subjected to having to respond, his friends showed up. Which was great because you couldn’t have formed a response if your life depended on it. But that shock had well worn off by the time Andy returned. He was throwing out apologies and explaining that he was being given an update on one of his cases. He seemed unaware of your silence until he realized Jacob was gone.

“Where’s Jake?”

“He left with his friends.”

“Oh.” He sat down at the table and you glared. “Come on, I didn’t know he was going to be here—”

“He just asked me if you’re my sugar daddy!”

“Well, I am.”

“You are not.”

He lifted his eyebrows. “Then what am I? I pay your bills, I buy you things, in return, you spend most of your free time with me. What does that make me?”

You were mad but not about the idea that he was your sugar daddy. Of course, you’d played with that phrase a few times, but it seemed so unrepresentative of your relationship. At least, to you. He clearly saw it that way, and maybe you weren’t even mad about that.

You might not have been mad at all, maybe just scared. You knew that Andy was in love with his ex-wife still and he always would be. She was this terrifying person that you’d never met that essentially held the cards to your life. You figured that if she expressed any anger towards Andy’s relationship with you, that you would be gone. You would have to go back to your life before, like when the carriage was a pumpkin. And the scariest part of that was not that you had no money. It was that you two would just be done as if you never even happened at all.

“Your boyfriend?” he pressed.

You rolled your eyes. “Whatever.”

“Don’t roll your eyes at me,” he warned.

“I’m going home.”

“No, you’re not.”

Once more, you rolled your eyes. You pushed away from the table and stormed out of the kitchen and to his bedroom.

He came in moments later after you had thrown his shirt on the bed. You were in nothing more than a pair of panties as you searched for where he’d tossed your clothes the night before. He shut the door and locked it, but you refused to respond to his tactics to make you talk.

“Get on the bed.”

You scoffed incredulously, turning over your shoulder to him with raised eyebrows. “Yeah, that’s not happening.”

His hand wrapped around one of your arms and he spun you back to him. You set your hands on his chest to push him away, but he pulled you in so tight that you couldn’t move. He kissed you like it had been years since he last did so, in reality, it had been a little over an hour. It was demanding and fast, he left you no room to protest, but it wasn’t like that mattered because with each passing second, you were giving in.

His free hand slid down between your legs and you broke the kiss to moan. Your head fell back, your body pressed closer to him. It wasn’t a surrender exactly, just a promise that you would get over it and never bring it up again.

But then he said, “Call me daddy.”

You froze, turning your head back to him. “What?”

“Call me daddy,” he repeated. “You want to come? Tell daddy how to make you come.”

It was just a matter of time before it was brought up. Unbeknownst to him, it was on your mind. Unbeknownst to you, it was on his. He hadn’t been the kind for it, then he met you. There was something primal inside him that was triggered when you would whimper and whine, when you were choking on his cock and staring up at him with your beautiful eyes, when you were crying his name. And sometimes, it didn’t completely sound unlike daddy. When you were breathless and fucked good, and nearly mindless. Sometimes, it was close enough that it made him wonder what it would be like.

And you’d been curious too. Ever since he spanked you the first time. You saw Andy as this powerful, good man. He was perfect and didn’t even know it. But all of that was what everyone could see. There were these dark parts of him that made you wet just thinking about. You would never tell him, but once, just one time, he was busy and couldn’t see you one weekend. Meaning you had to take care of yourself. Your dreams were vivid and filthy, and you might have called him daddy in one…so, yeah.

“I’m not going to touch you if you can’t follow orders, princess.”

It took you a moment to find your voice, especially with the way he was looking down at you. “I…don’t know…” It felt weird, like you were admitting this terrible secret. You were aware he had asked you to, but it still felt wrong. Kind of.

“Well,” his fingers slid over you again, a teasing touch that was too light for any real relief, “do you want daddy’s fingers?”

You nodded.

“What about daddy’s cock?”

“Yes.”

“Or maybe daddy’s mouth?” He kissed your forehead first, then your cheek, and finally all over your neck. “Hmm?”

“Yeah, that’s what I want.”

“You know what I want,” he pointed out, pulling back to look at you. “Tell me what you want first.”

He was not letting you out of this and did you actually want him to? Andy was a complete daddy. He spoiled the hell out of, almost literally got off on taking care of you, and he was a kind, beautiful man who had no problems fucking you like he hated you.

“Will you eat my pussy, Daddy?”

Wordlessly, he sat you down on the bed and pushed you onto your back by your shoulders. His eyes on yours, he took you with his mouth over your panties and any doubts you had about this just faded away.

Your breath was shaking as he held you down, his hands gripping your arms tight. You draped your legs over his shoulders and pulled him closer. He pressed his tongue flat against you each time he licked up your aching cunt. “Oh, god,” you blurted out when you felt him at your clit.

He turned his head, nipping at your thigh. It was a prompt.

“Daddy,” you breathed, and he returned his mouth to you. “Daddy, please.”

He hummed. What are you asking for?

“Please, take them off,” you begged.

His fingers slipped under the band of your underwear and he tore them into pieces, without any skill whatsoever, as his tongue sought out bare skin. You’d heard several tears by the time his tongue was inside you.

You arched your back and grabbed a hold of his hair with both hands. He almost instantly took your hands and held them down to the bed again. “Daddy, don’t stop. Please don’t stop. Please make me come.”

He pulled your clit between his lips and you knew that you weren’t going to last much longer. You knew this was your biggest loss so far. He was never going to let you forget that you’d come up here throwing a fit, trying to push him away, only to beg him to eat you out.

Your hips rolled against his face, he seemed surprised for a moment, but he moaned against you, so you kept doing it. “Can I come, Daddy? Please?”

He hummed again, a confirmation.

When you moved instead of waiting for him, you could feel his beard. That was the only reason you kept canting your hips up to meet the swipes of his tongue that were toeing the line of being too good.

He let his tongue drop down to tease your entrance, earning a frustrated whine from you. Your clit wasn’t neglected for long, you felt the tip of his nose hovering just right there. So, if you were to move, if you bucked your hips just right, you discovered quickly just how to get the right kind of pressure there.

Andy loved every second of it, he loved the smell of you and the taste of you, and he knew he was never going to be a better position to indulge in both. You were wild even though he was pinning you down, you were hardly ever this desperate, this upfront with your desire. It was the sexiest thing he ever witnessed.

You finished on his tongue and he let no drop of you go to waste. He was selfish in the way he ran his mouth along the oversensitive parts of you. Before reality had even made its way back to you, he’d placed you on your knees before him. Your body was moving without your brain, like pure instinct. Your mouth opened for him before you even knew you were on the floor and you took him in as deep as you could.

He took a handful of your hair and held you in place, hips slowly, gently moving back and forth. You were gagging around him but he was letting you get used to it, telling you that you were such a good girl, reminding you how well you knew how to suck his cock, how you’d always been so good at it.

He didn’t want to come in your mouth, he just wanted to get close. He threw you down on the bed just as soon as he’d gotten you back on your feet and then he was on top of you. His hand wrapped around your neck as he slotted his hips between your thighs.

His eyes locked on yours, he slowly sunk into you. It was damn near painful the kind of restraint he was using, how he was denying you that fast kind of fucking he knew you loved. He pulled back, using his knees for balance, and kept his hold on your throat.

His thrusts were too gentle, several agonizing times, until you were squirming and whimpering. He didn’t seem concerned with what you wanted then, he merely kept his eyes moving over your body.

“Andy,” you complained.

He tsked. “Baby girl.”

“Daddy,” you corrected instantly. “Daddy, please. I need you to fuck me.”

Instead, he leaned back down and kissed you. He started at your mouth and then moved to your jaw. His hips barely moved, just enough to keep you on this edge of murderous rage. Seriously? After what you just went through? He wasn’t going to fuck you to make it up to you?

He sat back again and tightened his hand when you opened your mouth. It was the nicest way he was ever going to tell you to shut up, but he was telling you to. You were too scared to show any signs of disobedience at this point.

He pulled out and you whined unintelligibly. You received nothing more than a brief ‘hush’ before he was laying down next to you. He was on his side, propping one of your legs over his hip as he slid back into you. He lifted you up so you could lay your head on his bicep and used that arm to grab your opposite thigh, pulling it out to the side so you were completely open for him.

“Daddy,” you mewled. You couldn’t keep doing this, you needed to come. You needed him to make you come. He dragged his cock out and then shoved back in, earning a strangled yelp from you. You brought both hands up to hold the forearm that was still pressed between your breasts.

It was then that he started this horrible pattern of fucking you hard, hard, until you were just about to come. You would be shaking, begging like you never had before, promising you would never talk back to him again, and then he would just stop.

He never denied your orgasm. If anything, he just threatened to, didn’t follow through, then made weak threats that he would next time. It was a nice routine and you weren’t sure why he wanted to ruin it.

He told you to leave your thigh where it was and then brought that hand up. He started at your mouth, he ordered you to close your lips around his fingers. He was choking you still and now gagging you and you were abruptly lightheaded. He’d never given you a safe word, you were sure he never intended to go too far. The idea that he might, though… Ugh.

He pulled his fingers from your mouth and they were soaking wet because he didn’t give you the chance to swallow. He dragged them down your body, stopping to pinch one of your nipples painfully until you gasped, and then down to your pussy.

Tears filled your eyes immediately as he pressed his fingers down on your clit. He kissed the side of your face several times before stating, “I can’t keep giving you what you want if you’re going to be such a brat, baby.”

“I’m not being a brat,” you protested.

“You’re not?”

“No.”

“Okay,” he scoffed. His fingers began to rub circles into you.

You shot him a desperate look. “Daddy, please I need you to make me come.”

He arched an eyebrow, hips still but hand moving. “Oh, you need me to?”

“No one else makes me come like you do.” It was clear that you were just saying anything you could think to make him give in. True? Yes. But were the words sincere? Not at all, and you didn’t want him to know that. Yes, you liked spending time with Andy, you even loved fucking him, but this was not a relationship. It was an arrangement first and you had to protect yourself.

He rolled his eyes at you. “Transparent.”

You let your head fall back into the pillow with an exaggerated sigh. “Please?”

“No.”

You looked at him instantly, eyebrows pulling together. “What?”

“No,” he repeated slowly.

He’d never just told you no. Maybe in a roundabout way, he’d talked his way through the fact of no, but never once had he just out and said it. You had no idea how to reply. After all, he was in charge here. If he said no, did you have to accept it?

He brought his fingers down to where your bodies were connected and pulled out completely. He dipped his fingers into you at the same time he was easing his cock back in.

You bit down on your lip, willing yourself to relax. He was always a tight fit, even without the addition of two of his thick fingers, even on those weeks when he fucked you every day, numerous times a day.

“You’re okay,” he promised. “You can take it.”

You tried spreading your legs even more, hoping that would make him easier to take.

“Good girl.” He pulled his cock and fingers out briefly before working them both back in simultaneously. “How’s it feel, baby?”

“It hurts a little.”

“But you can take it, can’t you?” He kissed along your cheekbone. “You want it, right? Because you’re my good girl.”

You were nodding before you even truly thought about it. You wanted anything he wanted to give you, in reality. You supposed this was not the exception to that rule.

He continued pulling out and teasing back in, going just a little deeper each time.

Your cunt was aching by the time you propped yourself up on your elbows to see. The sight of him inside you was sinful and delicious.

He felt you flutter around him and kissed the side of your face again. “You like when I stretch you out, baby?”

You nodded. That was exactly how you felt. Stretched. It still hurt but not in any kind of way that you didn’t like. Your cheeks were flushed since he’d been denying you a finish, otherwise, you would be blushing terribly. It was a toe-in-the-water of humiliation, you felt a little objectified, or reduced to a single body part. Again, not something you were opposed to because your mind was fucked up enough that your body would respond ecstatically to anything Andy wanted to do to it.

“Do you want another one?”

You weren’t sure, but that didn’t stop you from claiming you did. You watched the tip of his third finger collect the slick on the base of his cock and slide into you. He began pulling out and gently pushing both fingers and cock back in until he was buried several inches and two knuckles into your pussy.

“You are soaked, baby.”

Part of you hated that. How bratty could you be from here on out if you were this wet for him? If your cunt was literally begging him for more of his fingers? That was the pride part of you. The sick part of you stopped to think about how he had 7 more fingers to fuck you with, if he wanted. “Can I have another?”

He smirked. “I think 3 is enough tonight, princess. I don’t want to hurt you too much.”

“I want all your fingers inside me, daddy.”

He scoffed. “Not sure that’s possible, you’re still so tight. But I do have a little more I can give you.” As he pressed more of his fingers in, beyond that second knuckle which made you gasp and squirm because it burned, he also gave you more of his cock.

You were shaking, hand settling on his forearm once more. “Oh, daddy…I feel so full.”

“And your desperate cunt still wants more?”

“Anything from you, daddy. Can I please come?”

He didn’t answer, his hips merely began moving. He roughly fucked into you as he pulled just so with his fingers to keep you painfully stretched.

You were getting close again. That stinging sensation was starting to fade away with the building pleasure. When he angled his hand and let his thumb massage your clit, you knew you wouldn’t last much longer. “Daddy, please.”

“You can’t come.”

You whined. “Daddy!”

“I said no.”

You pressed your hand to his stomach to still his hips, but he paid you no mind. “Daddy, I’m going to come.”

“You better not,” he warned, but didn’t do anything to help you want that. If anything, his hips snapped a bit harder.

“Please stop, daddy,” you begged, voice pathetically small and whiny. You didn’t care how you sounded or looked, you just didn’t want to come without him letting you. You didn’t want to disappoint him. “Daddy, I’m close. Please stop.”

He scoffed, free hand coming up to your face. “You’re such a good girl, you know that?”

You frantically shook your head. You weren’t so good that you wouldn’t come, so really, you needed him to stop.

“You don’t want to come without my permission?”

“No, daddy.”

He pressed his thumb down harder and rubbed faster, earning an unintelligible, sad sound from you. “It’s okay, baby girl, you can come. Daddy wants to feel you coming around his cock.”

You lifted your hand back up to his arm, trying to turn into his body as much as you could. He understood immediately and moved his hold from your neck to drape his arm across you, resting his hand on your back. You set your head in the bend of his neck as you started to come.

He groaned when he felt you get tighter. “That’s it, baby. That’s what I wanna feel.”

Tears were rolling down your cheeks by the time you were coming. Your body had never felt relief so strong. Andy shushed you through it all and told you that you were so good and didn’t stop until he had you filled with his cum.

He let you settle before urging you onto your back. “You okay, baby?”

“Yes, daddy.” You were more than just okay. You were sated and aching, you were exhausted and blissful. It had been a while since he’d spent so much time on you and you felt good, doted on, paid attention to.

He carefully pulled his fingers from your cunt, eyeing your face as he did, but then quickly took your jaw in one hand and shoved the fingers into your mouth. You instantly began sucking on them. “A few things. First, you do not roll your eyes at me. Second, you do not leave the table unless I tell you that you can. Third, do not ever walk away from me. Fourth, when I tell you to get your ass on the bed, you better get your ass on the bed. Are we clear?”

You nodded, speaking around his fingers.

“Glad to hear it.” He slowly extracted his fingers, massaging your jaw with the opposite hand. “When you can walk again, I’ll take you shopping—”

You hurriedly jumped out of bed, rushing for the shower. “I’ll be ready in an hour!”

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@onetwo3000​ @chris-evans-indian-fanfic​

#andy barber x reader #but we all KNOW he's the best sd in existence right???? #let's rate evans characters by how good they'd be as sd's! talk to me in my inbox about it let's go! #love you thank you for reading okay bye #my writing

[yourfaceislikeabluemoon]

His Little Imp

Words: 4.5k

Warning: Finger sucking, blowjob, face-fucking, cum play/cum eating, handjob, slight exhibitionism (if you squint), usual dirty talk, and language.

A/N: soooo I haven’t posted something like this in ages 👀 like I haven’t done a member x member fic in a really long time. but this idea barged into my head while I was trying to fall asleep one night and it wouldn’t go away. plus, this is a favorite trope of mine heh heh. also, it is conveniently Felix’s birthday as I’m posting this (I swear that wasn’t actually intentional, it just worked out that way lol). this isn’t edited bc I kinda forgot and also I’m lazy 😂 anywho, I hope you enjoy - I sure enjoyed writing it hehe ❤

The whipped cream was distracting. Tasty, sure, but it was the tiny glob on the side of Felix's mouth that he had somehow missed when he licked his lips that kept grabbing Seungmin's attention. After a few moments of actively trying, and failing, to ignore it, Seungmin sighed exasperatedly and reached to thumb it away. "Lix, you have whipped cream on your face," he alerted the older boy before he swiped the offending substance off his skin.

Felix made a noise of recognition and leaned forward to give Seungmin better access. The younger gently scooped the cream off with his thumb but wasn't fast enough in retracting his hand; without warning, Felix sucked the whipped cream off and giggled as his cheeks tinged slightly pink. Seungmin stilled, lips parted and eyes wide, and he could only imagine how red his own face was. Felix shrugged and looked away as Seungmin finally let his hand drop to his own lap, "Couldn't let it go to waste."

Seungmin awkwardly cleared his throat and nodded stiffly, "Uh, yeah, of course."

And that was that. They both went back to what they were doing before the 'incident', Felix acting like nothing had happened. But Seungmin was still distracted, just not by the whipped cream anymore. He couldn't get the image of his thumb in Felix's mouth out of his head; those pillowy, raspberry-colored lips, how warm and wet his mouth was, the juxtaposition of innocence and mischief that glinted in the older boy's eyes when Seungmin finally tore his gaze away from Felix's mouth and made brief eye contact, and the faint blush that dusted over those freckled cheeks.

That moment replayed in Seungmin's head way more times than he would ever admit. Not that he would admit to thinking about Felix's mouth in the first place, absolutely not. Seungmin definitely didn't think about Felix's mouth when he was tucked away in bed that night, staring at the inside of his eyelids and willing himself to just go to sleep.

~

Days later, Seungmin was cooking something in the kitchen of the dorm, it being his idea instead of Felix's for once. He regretted that idea fairly quickly when he gracelessly elbowed a full bowl off the countertop and reflexively tried to catch it, making an even bigger mess in the process. Seungmin swore and threw his head back dramatically, groaning in frustration.

"Lix, I made a mess again."

Felix shuffled into the kitchen already laughing even before he saw the state the younger boy was in, "How many times are you gonna tell me that exact thing in our lifetimes?"

Seungmin shrugged his shoulders and held up both hands, one of which was dripping with the sauce from the bowl, and stared down, past his sauce-streaked apron, at the liquid covering the floor surrounding and all over his feet. Felix tip-toed closer, avoiding the splatters and various sized puddles, and grabbed Seungmin's wrist which startled him. He looked over just in time to see Felix's plump lips closing around two fingers. The texture of Felix's tongue sliding against the pads of his fingertips, ridding them of the sauce, also rid his brain of anything and everything; his mind was just static. His entire body felt like static, too. The only place that had any feeling left was the hand in Felix's grasp and mouth. Jolts of electricity transferred from Felix's taste buds down Seungmin's wrist into the numbness of his arm while Seungmin stood motionless, mouth agape and something akin to disbelief etched into his expression.

Felix dragged the fingers from his mouth and looked off into the distance as he licked his lips, "Needs more salt."

Apparently, even when his entire body is in some weird form of hibernation, Seungmin's knack for sarcasm is completely unharmed, working as usual despite the lack of function everywhere else. So he said the first thing that barged into his empty brain, "Oh, well, hand me the salt shaker. I'll just sprinkle some on the floor here."

Felix snorted and doubled over with laughter, his tiny hands clutching his knees, "Sorry. Sorry, that, yeah, never mind." He wiped at his eyes and straightened up, "Let's clean up."

Seungmin nodded in agreement and looked disdainfully at his feet, "I really need to change my socks." Felix followed his gaze and cringed before busting out laughing again.

And just like that, they acted like nothing happened. Again. Only this time, Seungmin had a new image brandished into the back of his eyelids when he struggled to sleep that night. And this time when Seungmin replayed the moment in his mind, there was definitely no trace of innocence in Felix's eyes.

~

Now that his brain had so thoughtfully provided him with a new fixation, all Seungmin could think about was Felix's plush lips and warm, wet mouth. His eyes found Felix's face far too often and lingered on his lips for far too long. It was getting bad and he really hoped that no one noticed, especially Felix. But, alas, luck was not on his side -- it never was when it came to this 'situation'.

"Minnie, you're staring again," Felix pointed out from his spot on the couch, legs draped over the back and his head dangling with his attention fixed on his phone.

Seungmin grunted in acknowledgement and blinked rapidly. In his defense, he admittedly had been staring at Felix's mouth but sometime before his brain alerted him to look away after an unsuspicious amount of time, his thoughts wandered and he ended up staring off into space, deep in contemplation. "Sorry," he apologized and squirmed in his seat across from Felix, "Just thinking, didn't even know I was staring."

Felix hummed and spun himself around so he was sitting like a normal human being before patting the place next to him for Seungmin to come sit. "But, unconsciously or not, you've been staring at me a lot." Felix watched the younger make his way over, frowning when he sat down on the opposite end of the couch. He quickly crawled over to Seungmin and sat back on his heels, tilting his head like a confused puppy. "Is something wrong, Minnie? Did I do something wrong?" The pout was evident both in his tone and on those lips of his that Seungmin caught himself gawking at yet again.

Seungmin vehemently shook his head and tried to back away but was blocked by the armrest, "No! No, not at all! Everything's fine!"

Felix hummed again, squinting suspiciously as he eyed the younger boy before his expression morphed into one of smugness and teasing. "Like what you see?"

Snapping his eyes up from where they had been watching Felix speak, Seungmin swallowed thickly, "Uh, is that a trick question?"

Felix shook his head slowly and bit at his bottom lip. "Oh, come on. There must be something keeping your attention or else you wouldn't be staring at me every waking moment!"

Seungmin floundered, unable to come up with an answer. What was he supposed to do? Tell him the truth? Oh, yeah. Sorry, Felix. I just have this super weird fascination with your mouth and it's all I can think about. Not just during the day, I can't even sleep at night because I keep imagining your mouth. I want you to suck on my fingers again just to feel you, nothing major. Yeah, like that was gonna happen. That would go over so well.

"Am I really that pretty you can't keep your eyes off me?"

Seungmin was abruptly wrenched from his thoughts by the boy that was still kneeling on the couch next to him. He was all too aware of the fact that they were sitting too close to each other, so much so that Felix's bare knees were pressed up against Seungmin's thigh. Seungmin's brain finally processed the question he had just been asked but before he could stop himself, he breathed out his answer.

"Yes."

Felix's eyes became hooded and dark and he leaned in closer, a smirk curving his lips. "Tell me, what's your favorite feature of mine?" It should have sounded extremely narcissistic but something in the tone of Felix's voice, a bit contemptuous with just a hint of genuine curiosity, made Seungmin heat up, surely blushing a brilliant shade of red under Felix's enticing gaze.

Seungmin's mouth went dry and he found himself swallowing again as he fumbled for another answer, but Felix held up a finger to halt him. "Wait, let me guess! Could it be my tiny hands?" He wiggled his fingers and scrunched up his nose cutely.

"Oh, maybe it's my eyes," Felix tilted forward again, batting his lashes seductively and looked up at Seungmin through them.

The older suddenly sat up on his knees and lifted his shirt, causing panic to rise in Seungmin and something else. "Probably my itty-bitty waist, right? Wanna grab at it with your big, strong hands?" Felix teased as Seungmin's eyes wandered over the expanse of skin directly in front of him, defined abs, deep v-lines, and that tiny waist.

Seungmin was sweating. Or maybe that was drool. Probably both. And he wanted to touch. Bad.

He instantly glanced up when Felix started talking again, "But that wouldn't make any sense." He dropped his shirt and plopped back down, pouting because he hadn't guessed correctly yet. "You've been staring at my face this whole time." Realization washed over Felix's face and the smirk made its way back onto his plush, tempting lips.

And it was in that moment that Seungmin knew he was fucked.

Felix had known the whole time. He was just having fun riling Seungmin up, making him sweat, making him want him even more, the little devil. "I know," Felix licked his lips, seemingly in slow motion, "It's my mouth you like, isn't it, Minnie?"

Seungmin's sharp intake of air was answer enough. Felix nodded once, "You can touch if you want."

The younger gulped and hesitantly lifted his hand to the other boy's face. When he got within an inch, Felix snarled and snapped his teeth. Seungmin practically jumped out of his skin, eyes like saucers and his breathing labored and panting.

Felix giggled. He giggled. "I'm just kidding, Minnie! I won't bite. Unless you want me to." Felix winked and sucked in his bottom lip to bite down on it. When it popped free from his mouth, the wet flesh glistened in the light and Seungmin threw all fear out the window, grasping the side of the older boy's face before slowly sliding his thumb over Felix's bottom lip and lightly tugging it down. Felix poked his tongue out impishly and hummed, giving Seungmin permission for whatever he wanted to do next.

The younger boy's stare flicked from Felix's mouth, up to his eyes, and back down again. Seungmin retracted his hand only slightly to rest two of his fingertips against the pillowiness of Felix's lips. Tongue peeking out again, Felix gently licked at Seungmin's fingers, watching him intently and gauging his reaction, and when the younger gasped and his eyes fluttered but stayed open, Felix took both fingers into his mouth and sucked.

The faintest moan slipped from Seungmin and he breathed heavily, "Lix."

Felix hummed and smiled around the digits in his mouth, laving his tongue against the fingertips and sucking diligently. He found himself leaning in even further, hands resting on the couch in front of him and his ass perked out, an elegant curve to his spine.

Felix could feel his sense of control slipping and he almost lost it completely when Seungmin pushed his fingers in further and pressed down on the back of his tongue, causing him to gag a bit. Seungmin groaned in response, free hand snaking up to rest at the nape of Felix's neck as he slid down further into the couch.

Felix took the opportunity to move his hands from the sofa seat to rest one hand on each of the younger boy's thighs. Seungmin jolted minutely at the contact but smiled weakly as he pulled his fingers from the older's mouth, a single strand of saliva connecting them like spider silk sparkling in the light. Felix pouted at the emptiness and started to lean backwards but Seungmin stopped him with both hands on his waist. Quirking an eyebrow, Felix leaned back in as Seungmin tugged him forward.

"C'mere," he slurred and pulled the older into his lap. Felix fell against him from the force and chuckled as he situated himself in Seungmin's lap, thighs resting on either side and his arms draped over the younger boy's shoulders. Seungmin stared up at him, completely entranced, eyes wandering over every facial feature, stopping at every freckle and marveling at the beauty in front of him.

Felix giggled, "Minnie?"

"Huh?" Seungmin grunted, immediately making eye contact, pupils already blown.

A coy little grin playing over Felix's face, he leaned in a trifle closer and whispered, "Aren't you gonna kiss me?"

Seungmin was well and truly fucked.

He gulped and wet his lips, steeling himself in preparation. Not that he didn't want to kiss Felix -- boy did he ever! But this was something that had only played out in fantasies behind his eyelids when he let his mind spin things just enough while he was in that space between awake and unconsciousness when he laid in bed at night. This wasn't something he ever expected to happen outside of his daydreams, so to say Felix's question caught him off guard was the understatement of the century.

Felix saw the brief flicker of panic in Seungmin's eyes and he couldn't help but frown, fearing that he had somehow made the younger uncomfortable. "Minnie, if you don't want to kiss me-"

"No! It's not that at all, believe me!" Seungmin reassured as he soothed his hands up and down Felix's sides. He chuckled despite himself, "I just- I've thought about this so much but I guess I never really thought it would happen in real life?" He winced slightly at how lame he sounded but Felix was beaming and Seungmin could see the older boy's desire to tease sparkling in his dark eyes.

"I'm curious," Felix paused to bite at his lip playfully, "How did it go in your daydreams -- us kissing?"

Seungmin yet again explored his deserted brain for an answer and came up empty handed. The twinkle in Felix's eyes somehow became even more mischievous and he scrunched his nose a little before laughing breathily, "Why don't you just show me?"

The younger nodded dumbly, a hesitant palm resting on Felix's hip while the other shakily reached for the side of his face, thumbing at his bottom lip once again. Seungmin delicately guided Felix forward, noses brushing and fingers trembling.

The closer they got, the more Felix could feel his own nervousness thrumming in his chest and he wondered if Seungmin could hear how fast his heart was racing. But, he assumed, Seungmin's heart was most likely beating wildly, too. Their breaths mingled and jolts of electricity went through them both when their lips barely grazed each other's. Felix was yearning to just dive in and kiss him hard, no second thoughts, but he wanted Seungmin to take the lead and do whatever he was comfortable with.

After what felt like ages, Seungmin softly pressed his lips against Felix's and quickly pulled back a little bit. The older couldn't help the smile twitching at the corners of his mouth. Seemingly just testing the waters with that initial peck, Seungmin searched Felix's eyes for any sort of hesitation or discomfort and when he found nothing but ardor and rascality, he leaned back in. So gently, so carefully, so sweetly, Seungmin kissed Felix and drew him in closer, chests pressed together.

Seungmin was in heaven -- Felix's lips were somehow even softer than they looked or how he'd imagined, the feeling of holding him was the definition of blissful, and he couldn't get enough.

Felix was going insane -- he felt like a madman and he felt bad about it because all he wanted to do was kiss Seungmin senseless but darling, charming Seungmin was kissing him so innocently.

A few cautious pecks later, Felix calmly pulled away and smiled warmly. "I know I'm small but you don't have to be so careful with me, Minnie. I won't break. And I don't mind if you're a little rougher with me." The older couldn't help the blush that crept onto his cheeks, "I actually kinda like it. A lot."

That was all Seungmin needed; his gaze immediately darkened and his chest rumbled in a sort of growl before pulling Felix back in. His kiss had gone from gentle and pure to searing and sinful at the drop of a hat. He was stealing Felix's breath and the older found himself gripping onto Seungmin's shirt to stabilize himself to some extent.

Seungmin bit and nipped at Felix's pillowy lips, occasionally sucking the lower into his own mouth. He licked at the seam, silently asking for permission, which Felix unabashedly gave instantly.

Felix's jaw went slack and his eyes practically rolled to the back of his head when Seungmin's tongue finally tangled with his own. He whined lewdly when Seungmin sucked in his tongue and, at the same time, squeezed his ass firmly, yanking him in even closer. Felix couldn't help but roll his hips, grinding down in Seungmin's lap and relishing in the low moan the younger let out when their clothed erections brushed against each other.

"Want you in my mouth. Wanna taste you," Felix whimpered against Seungmin's lips when they paused to breathe.

Seungmin chuckled, "Isn't that what we're doing?"

Panting, Felix shook his head and pouted, "Wanna suck you off. Please?"

Breath caught in his throat, Seungmin stared at the boy in his lap. "Any of the guys could come out or come home and see us, we're on the communal couch," he hissed, panicking.

Felix pouted more and punctuated his begging by grinding down again, "Please, want you in my mouth. Please?"

Throwing caution to the wind, Seungmin groaned and tossed his head back before nodding, "Fuck. Yeah, OK. Fuck yes."

Eagerly clambering out of Seungmin's lap and onto the floor in front of him between his legs, Felix clutched at the strong thighs next to him in anticipation. He nosed at Seungmin's clothed length, humming contentedly while the younger squirmed under him.

Seungmin's hips canted and he couldn't help but moan deeply as Felix palmed him and mumbled into his thigh, "You want my mouth just as much as I want your cock, don't you?"

"Ngh, yes. Please, Lix," he groaned at the ceiling. Felix toyed with his zipper, still keen to tease despite being desperate himself. "Please," another whispered imploration. The eldest smiled softly and obliged him, undoing his jeans and tugged them down with bated breath. Seungmin lifted his hips to make it easier, resting back into the couch when Felix had pulled them partway down his legs.

The younger was straining against his briefs, his cock having already leaked enough pre-cum for it to leave a dark spot on the front. Felix whined when he noticed it and pressed gentle kisses along the still covered shaft before sucking at the head through the material, tiny hands kneading at the meat of his thighs, fingertips occasionally slipping under the hem to rile the younger up even more. Seungmin was gripping onto the couch like his life depended on it, drunk off the pleasure regardless of the fact that he was still in his briefs.

Felix quickly solved that problem, fingers dipping under the waistband to slide down the offending item of clothing. His breath hitched when Seungmin's hard cock slapped against his lower stomach and his eyes flicked up to the younger's, mouth agape and watering. Seungmin chuckled huskily and took the perfect opportunity to throw Felix's words back in his face, "Like what you see?"

Felix blinked torpidly and nodded, unable to hide the blush that dusted his cheeks when he registered the question. Without preamble, he leaned in to suck at Seungmin's balls. "Oh!" Seungmin shuddered, gasping at the sudden contact. Felix hummed and lapped at the supple flesh before licking up to the head of his cock. There he suckled tenderly, the tip of his tongue sporadically dipping into the slit, and made eye contact with Seungmin who looked close to passing out.

Panting and squirming, it was Seungmin's turn to whimper, "Shit, Lix! You look so fucking pretty! God!"

Felix fluttered his lashes in response and sunk down on Seungmin's dick, lips stretching obscenely around his girth. He moaned at the feeling of the younger boy hot and heavy on his tongue; his eyes rolled back and drool dripped from the corners of his mouth. Seungmin moaned right along with him, throwing his head back and anchored himself so as not to thrust wildly into Felix's tight, wet throat.

"Lixie, so pretty for me," he brushed strands of hair from Felix's eyes as the older looked up at him again and rested his hand against one freckled cheek, feeling it bulge and hollow as Felix fervently sucked. "Fuck, your pretty mouth was made for my cock, wasn't it?"

Felix whined and nodded in agreement, easing more of Seungmin down with each bob of his head. When he reached the base, he swallowed tightly, tears pooling in his eyes from the discomfort. Seungmin whimpered above him, getting lost in the pleasure. "How can someone be that pretty even when they cry?" he whispered, not really intending for Felix to hear, but the older heard and preened nonetheless.

With one last lave of his tongue over the bulging veins in the underside of Seungmin's cock, Felix pulled up slowly, the head falling from his lips with a filthy pop. He pumped the length with his hand, all the saliva making the slide slippery and smooth. "I know you're close, Minnie," Felix arched an eyebrow, "Are you holding out on me?"

Seungmin's hips pitched forward ever so slightly, dick twitching in the older's grasp, "Ngh, you feel too good. Wanna feel you for as long as I can. Don't wanna stop."

"Oh, baby! I'm not going anywhere! You can have my mouth again whenever you want, don't you worry about that!" Felix placed a single kiss on the head of his cock, seemingly sealing his promise, before smiling up at Seungmin, a dash of feigned pity behind his eyes. "Besides, it must hurt to hold it in so long like this." He tutted and shook his head, "No, that won't do. I know what'll make you cum, baby." Seungmin's hips shot forward at the pet name and Felix snickered meanly, "Here, fuck my mouth. I know you want to."

Seungmin whined and whimpered and writhed. He did want to. So badly. But he didn't want to hurt Felix. The eldest noticed the hesitation and smiled genuinely, "It's ok! I like it rough, remember?" Seungmin nodded tentatively and Felix took him back into his mouth, bracing himself against the strong thighs at his sides. The younger shyly thrusted once, again testing the waters, but when Felix's throat accommodated him so well, he sighed and reached to tangle his fingers in the older's hair before beginning to shallowly thrust. Felix moaned around the cock in his mouth, loving the feeling of his throat being abused as Seungmin's pace quickened and his strokes strengthened.

The older was a whimpering mess being used for Seungmin's pleasure and that got Felix more turned on than he's possibly ever been in his life. He reached down with one hand to grip at his dick over his shorts, trying to relieve some of the pressure, but he ended up pulling out his cock to thrust into his own hand, chasing the blinding satisfaction that he was on the very cusp of.

Seungmin was scorching hot, belly burning with his release so close, "Lix, I'm- I can't last anymore." Felix hummed in encouragement, quickening his own pace on his leaking length. "Lix, can I- I wanna cum on your face. You'd look so fucking pretty with my cum on your face. Can I, please?" Felix was eagerly nodding the entire time Seungmin was begging, or nodding as best he could while choking on his cock.

The younger whispered 'thank you's over and over again as he tugged Felix off by his hair and started to jerk at his sensitive dick. Felix obediently held his mouth open, tongue lolling out in wait, and seconds later, streaks of white painted his lips. A few shot up to land across his freckled cheeks and nose, narrowly missing his eyes, which he was thankful for because he could fully see Seungmin's reaction to his face covered in his cum. And god it was beautiful. So was Felix in Seungmin's eyes. And he told him so.

"Gorgeous," Seungmin breathed, smearing his cockhead in the cum covering Felix's bottom lip. The eldest moaned and smiled, lashes fluttering closed before he suckled any leftover drops of cum from Seungmin's cock and licked his lips. He dragged his fingertips across his face, scooping up all the cum, and sucked it from his fingers, making sure to look Seungmin in the eye as he did.

"Fuck, you're filthy," Seungmin smirked and tugged him back up into his lap, "C'mere." Felix clumsily scampered up, still hard cock bouncing against his own stomach when he sat down. Seungmin glanced down, smirk widening, and took Felix into his hand. "Good. Wanted to see you cum all over yourself anyway."

Felix whined, "And you said I was the dirty one."

Seungmin smiled naughtily before leaning in closer and started to tug at Felix's cute, pink cock. "Gonna make you even dirtier." The older keened and surged forward to kiss Seungmin again. Seungmin groaned when he tasted himself on Felix's tongue but made no effort to move away which made Felix twitch in his grasp. The younger twisted his hand and thumbed at his frenulum, making Felix gasp into his mouth. He swallowed his moans and jerked him to completion, cum spilling over his hand and shooting up the front of Felix's shirt. "Looks like you made the mess this time, Lix," Seungmin whispered against his mouth. Felix punched him in the arm and giggled as he came down from his high.

The two heard a noise and Felix turned around just in time to see Hyunjin, jaw on the floor, slap a hand over his eyes, immediately do a 180, and made a beeline out of the room, presumably in the direction from which he came. Felix giggled while Seungmin groaned, "I knew we'd get caught! You're gonna pay for this, you little incubus!"

~

Later that night, far past midnight, there was a soft knock on Seungmin's bedroom door. He opened it to find his little imp smiling sweetly, already batting his lashes.

"Can I help you, demon?" Seungmin asked with a raised eyebrow.

Felix clasped his hands in front of himself and cutely twisted in place, his big t-shirt billowing out around him made him look even tinier than usual. "I believe you promised me a punishment."

Seungmin scoffed before glancing the older up and down and growled, "This time, I'm shoving my fingers down your throat while I suck you off."

Felix feigned shock as he closed the door behind himself, "Minnie, how scandalous!"

#stray kids #stray kids felix #stray kids seungmin #lee felix #kim seungmin #felix smut #felix fluff #seungmin smut #seungmin fluff #stray kids smut #stray kids fluff #stray kids felix smut #stray kids felix fluff #stray kids seungmin smut #stray kids seungmin fluff #kpop smut #kpop fluff

[latina4rmbx]

Bibliophile

Before you get your knickers in a bunch, I'm going to write the definition.

First off, anything with a "phile" at the end of it means "lover of." Yes, and the first thought is pedophile. It's my first thought too so don't feel bad.

Oxford Dictionary Definition:

bib·li·o·phile, noun, a person who collects or has a great love of books.

SIMILAR: bookworm (synonym)

If I say this doesn't describe me, I'd be lying. It truly is. I have books (looking around my home office space)...everywhere. OK OK, not EVERY where, but i have a lot of books in a lot of places.

This isn't to say that I don't have other interests. I mean, wouldn't the kind of books I read give you some insight into who I am as a person?

Nah, to be honest, I read because I love using my imagination. I love to write for the same reason.

The sweetest part of being a bibliophile is that those who know me, know I'm a bibliophile and they send me memes about books and pictures of beautiful libraries and book art ::sigh::

I'm reading a book at present, written by Jodi Picoult, called Mercy. It's not a book I'm rereading, but the book is vaguely familiar to me somehow. Also, I am imagining what's going to happen next and it makes me giddy and want to keep reading.

I wonder, do writers set out in awakening a sleuth in their readers?

Sleuth \SLOOTH\ verb 1: to act as a detective : search for information. 2 : to search for and discover (Websters Dictionary)

Or do writers want to their readers to read the words on the page and not think too far ahead? i'm guessing it's a mixed bag. I mean, when you consider how many books have been written and how many authors there have been, some probably cared and some probably didn't.

Knowing this author, I know there is almost always a HUGE twist. This, unfortunately, isn't something I can't guess.

FYI: She wrote these books that have become movies/tv movies:

My Sister's Keeper (2009)

Salem Falls (2012)

The Pact (2002)

The Tenth Circle (2008)

Plain Truth (2004)

All, but My Sister's Keeper, were Lifetime Movies (I am going to see if I can find them and watch them, especially The Tenth Circle, it's reminiscent of Dante's Inferno)

I have read so many books in my life, that they tend to run together. If you were to want to discuss a book, you may have to give me a nudge in the right direction of memory but there is something about a book that sticks with you, after it's over. She tends to do that.

Reader, I didn't intend for this particular post to become a "Hail Jodi Picoult" post, but alas, my thoughts had other plans.

I just read, for the first time, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone. My bestfriend practically shoved into my hands (i'm being nice, she shoved it into my hands) and I LOVED IT! I'm late to the Harry Potter Party, but as they say "better late than never."

She sent me "Chamber of Secrets" and "The Prisoner of Azkaban" and I can't wait to read them but I am so enthralled with Mercy that I think about it all day and I don't watch TV to fall asleep, I read.

Did I give you examples of how much of a Bibliophile I am?

There are times where I take breaks from reading. Either because my thoughts don't lend for concentration or because I haven't found anything that is exciting to me however, I have a stack (of at least 15 books - including the 2 Harry Potters) waiting for me to read and probably another 50 classics in my iPad.

::sigh:: believe it or not, writing that made me happy and wistful.

Well family, I have to run to do the job that pays me. (Metaphorically, of course. I work from mi casa.)

XOXO

Thanks for reading

#love #books #blog #family #sadness in the mundane #bibliophile #bookworm #booksbooksbooks #bookstagram #bookaddict #booklr #writing #harry potter #definitions #oxford dictionary #merriam webster #my sisters keeper #The Tenth Circle #The Pact #salem falls #Plain Truth #jodie picoult #sorcerer's stone #chamber of secrets #prisoner of azkaban #dante #dante's inferno #sleuth #lifetime #lifetime movie

[tomtenadia]

Island Dreams - Chapter 14

Chapter 14 folks. And Lysandra and Aedion are here as well <3

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A few days had passed and finally the big day had arrived. Lysandra and Aedion were on their way. Aelin was pacing in the small arrivals section of Stornoway airport and kept looking at the screen for the status of the flight from Glasgow. Lysandra and Aedion were on their way and she was excited. Finally the status changed to on approach and Aelin was now full on restless. She hadn’t seen them in a while and was dying to hug Lys again and spend two weeks with her best friend and catch up.

Rowan had stayed behind at the bookshop but they were going to him after they had dumped everything at her place. She had offered them her spare bedroom. She had the space so why not? Also, she loved the idea of sharing a flat with Lysandra again. She was hoping to have time to just be with her and in her heart she was begging for Rowan and Aedion to get along so she could get the boys together and be alone with Lysandra. Twenty minutes passed and the screen had been flashing landed for a while when she finally heard her name by a voice that she would have recognised everywhere. “Lys.” She shouted and ran for her friend and hugged her savagely making a scene in front of all the other passengers. The two girls hugged for a solid five minutes until Aedion cleared his throat. Aelin finally detached and gave the man a hug “It’s nice to see you as well.” “It’s fine Ace, I am used to be an afterthought when it comes to you two.” Aelin grabbed some of the bags “Come on, let’s get you out of here.” The drive home was short and sweet and the two women had spent the time catching up, something that would probably take the whole two weeks. Aedion had sat in silence, knowing full well how much Lysandra had missed Aelin. They finally arrived at Aelin’s place and they all got in and Lysandra was staring at the place in amazement. “Aelin, this place is wonderful.” “Just renting it for now, but yes I love it.” Aelin took her friends upstairs, gave them a tour and showed them their bedroom “the bathroom is at the end of the corridor” “Are we going to meet Rowan?” Lysandra was dying to finally be introduced to the guy. Aelin had kept her posted on her development with her two guys and also sent her some of the pictures she had taken of him during their trip. “We are going to the bookshop as soon as you two are ready to get out again. Take your time, I am downstairs.” Aelin left them and went back downstairs and texted Rowan They are here. We are at my place. We will be there in about an hour I think. His reply did not come straight away Busy. I will see you in a bit. I am looking forward to meet your friends. Forty minutes later the couple came down stairs all changed and ready to go. “Rowan is waiting for us.” Added Aelin with excitement. She had been counting down the days to this since Lys had told her over the phone that they were coming. They left and started walking to the bookshop and Aelin acted as guide and was pointing at places and telling them stories as if she had live there all her life. Ten minutes later they were at the shop “Tadaaa” “Is that him?” Lysandra whispered when she spotted a man with silver hair through the window and Aelin smiled in reply. “Holy fuck, young lady, not a single one of the pictures you sent me do him any justice.” “I am standing here, by the way.” Protested Aedion, feeling left out. “Yes, darling, I know.” She kissed him tenderly. “Seriously, you really hit the jackpot.” Aelin laughed and turned to Aedion “you know she loves you right?” Lysandra turned to him a kissed him again “I’ll prove you tonight I much I love you.” And a massive grin spread on his face, while Aelin pretended not to hear. As soon as they entered Aelin felt Rowan’s arms around her waist and a soft kiss on her lips “Hi you.” “Back at you.” She said returning the kiss. Then she pulled away and made the introductions “Lysandra, Aedion, this is Rowan.” She turned to him “Ro, these are my friends.” “Welcome to Stornoway, guys.” Lysandra stared at him and heat flushed through her. His accent added to his already high level of hotness, together with the awesome tattoo sneaking up his arm. Damn the man was sex made real. She had to get a grip. She had Aedion and she loved him. “We are so happy to be here.” “And I am glad there is another guy here. I would have risked to have two week of holidays by myself.” Aedion joked grabbing Lysandra by her waist and pulling her to him. “Cheeky.” “Babe, I love you but when it comes to you and Aelin, most of times I am the third wheel.” When a customer came in, Aelin made a move to go an d serve him but Rowan stopped her “Stay with your friends.” Aelin gave Lys and Aedion a tour of the place and they loved it showing with pride her displays. “So this is where you work just now.” Lysandra said almost beaming at her friend. “You seem happy, much happier than when you left.” And took her hand. “I am…” and her gaze landed on Rowan and Aedion gave them some privacy and pretended to browse some books. “So are you two…” Aelin shook her head “We are taking it slowly, no labels or anything. And we haven’t… you know… that… yet.” “How can you resist it? Have you seen him?” Lysandra pointed out. “We have a promise.” Aelin explained and when she noticed Lysandra’s expression she expanded a bit “It’s a long story, but it will happen but not until the correct conditions are met.” “By the way… his hands…” and Aelin laughed and remembered the day in the office. “I know, they are wonderful.” And winked at her friend. “So you did something.” “Of course, we are taking it slowly, but not that slowly.” “Is he good?” Asked Lysandra who was getting super curious. Aelin gave her a huge grin. “You naughty girl.” The two women were chatting away when the boys joined them again and Rowan held Aelin from behind and put his chin on her shoulder “If you guys are hungry, this is the time when we usually close for lunch. We can go to my aunt’s.” Aelin turned and threw her arms around Rowan’s neck “Fooood. I knew I chose you for a reason.” Lysandra stared at her friend and was stunned by how much she had changed. She had never seen her like that. Not even when things with Chaol were good, she appeared that happy. She was different. A good different and that made her super relieved. The last memories she had of Aelin were of someone heartbroken in more ways than one. “I am starving,” said Aedion. Lysandra and Aedion left the shop and Aelin and Rowan followed after having closed the doors. He grabbed her hand “Let’s go.” A few minutes later they were at the cafe. “Maeve is Rowan’s aunt.” Explained Aelin while they entered the place. It was quite busy that day but they managed to get a table for four. Maeve joined them a moment later with the menus. “We have guests today. These are Lysandra and Aedion. They are my friends from London.” Aelin made the introductions. “Welcome guys. These are the menu. Take your time to order.” “The food here is great.” Aelin told them and she heard Rowan chuckle. “Any problems?” “You would know if the food is good. You already tried it all, twice.” And he flicked her nose tenderly. “Did you forget to take your ‘be nice’ pills today?” She jested and Lysandra was staring at her friend in fascination. “But I love seeing getting all worked up for nothing, mo chridhe.” And he kissed her gently. “Was that Gaelic? The last thing you said, by the way.” Asked Lysandra not understanding the last thing Rowan said. Aelin nodded. “I am sorry, but it’s so sexy.” And she blushed savagely. Rowan laughed out loud “I’ll take it as a compliment.” They finally ordered the food and after a while it arrived. “This looks awesome.” Commented Aedion who was really starving. They had left London very early and had it felt like their breakfast had been a lifetime ago. “So, I had a look at some of the things we can do while you guys are here and I thought about a little side trip.” Aelin explained, pulling out her guide from the backpack “I was thinking a four days trip and head for North Uist.” Then she turned to Rowan “Can it be done?” Rowan nodded enthusiastically “I have a better plan,” he offered and Aelin nodded eagerly he was the local, he had a better idea of what could be done. “Day one, we can head south, catch the second ferry in the morning and in an hour we are on North Uist and we can hang about the north.” He explained “Day two we can drive the whole length of North and South Uist. They are basically loads of islands connected by causeways. Day three, we can venture all the way to Barra. If we leave early in the morning we can catch the first ferry our. Spend the day on the island and come back with the last ferry. It’s June and the days are super long. Day four me come back, but we can take them to some nice places on Lewis.” “Why did I even bother buying a guide, when I have you?” She touched his hand and he grinned back. Lysandra clapped her hands excited “I trust you two. I mean I am open to anything.” “Me too.” Added Aedion. “And there’s beaches” Rowan added and Aelin looked at him “Huge ones.” “What? Better than Luskentyre?” Rowan nodded and Aelin’s mouth fell open “How is that even possible?” “What is Luskentyre?” Asked Aedion curious. “It’s this incredible, stunning, amazing beach. We’ll go there, I promise.” Explained Aelin remembering the first time she went there. “Can we swim?” This time it was Lysandra. Rowan was dubious. He could but he was not sure they could take it “It’s June. If we get a good day, chances are it will be warm but the water might not be that as warm. We are still talking about the Atlantic Ocean.” “But we can suntan? I need to loose my Londoner’s pallor.” Then she looked at Aelin who had gained a bit of colour “Like her.” Rowan for a moment imagined Aelin in a swimsuit. He pushed the image away because they were in public and with friends. “Could you close the shop for four days?” Rowan nodded “I haven’t taken a holiday in a very long time. I don’t care.” And his arm went around her shoulder and she gave him a wonderful smile that almost stopped his heart. “Logistics,” continued Aelin who was having a great time planning the time away with Rowan and her friends “How about a self catering. We get a cottage so we have more freedom?” “I know some places.” Added Rowan “I know one that has a view of the sands from the living room. And the path to the beach is not far away. I can get in touch with them.” “Please.” Said the two women in unison. “Let us know the price and we’ll share. I am paying for Lys. This is kinda a very belated birthday present for her.” And he kissed her tenderly. “Ok, today is Wednesday,” said Rowan “Can we do Friday? I have to go to the school tomorrow.” And he turned to Aelin “I am going for my instructor trial tomorrow morning.” Then he turned to Aedion “you can come with me so the ladies can have some time alone.” “Thanks man, our girls need a few hours of crazy gossiping.” “Lysandra and I can man the shop.”Aelin grinned wildly. “Ohhh I would love that. Yes, please.” Lysandra stared at Rowan with puppy eyes. “Can we trust them?” Joked Rowan talking to Aedion. He had a good feeling about the guy at liked him from the beginning. “It’s your shop, man. I hope you are insured.” Rowan and Aedion laughed while the two women glared at them. “You two are horrible.” Said Lysandra. Aedion hugged her “Yes, but you love me.” “Maybe,” she pouted.

The next morning Lysandra and Aelin were ready for their morning alone in the shop and for some well deserved gossiping. The boys were away and they finally had some time alone. “I love this, by the way.” Said Lysandra looking around the bookstore “Rowan has done an amazing job.” Aelin nodded and went to open the door and noticed one of their regulars. She collected the order for the woman and Lysandra studied her friend at work. She seemed a natural. When she was free again, Lysandra decided to begin “So, you and Rowan. Are you seriously telling me that you guys are not together? I have seen how he looks at you. And when he told you that sweet thing in Gaelic? Hell Aelin, that man is crazy about you.” Aelin took a seat next to Lysandra. “I know.” She sighed “And I am madly in love with him. We both know our feelings.” “So why the breaks?” Aelin’s stare was fixed outside the window “Because until a few days ago Elias was still in the picture. Because we both had bad past relationship and both need to take it slowly for once. Neither of us wants to fuck up this one. So no labels for now. Just let it develop as it goes. And I love it. I love him, Lys, so badly that it hurts.” “I can see that.” Lysandra caressed Aelin’s head “And I can see he does too.” Then she took her friend’s hand “I don’t think I have ever seen you so happy. Not even with police guy.” Aelin squeezed Lysandra’s hand back. “And please let’s discuss how that man is sex on two legs, now that I had some time to study him in real life.” Aelin barked a laugh “I am glad Aedion is not here.” “Seriously. One: his hands. The things he could do with them. Two: the backside. He should have a permit because that thing is a weapon that could kill.” Aelin kept laughing. She missed this. They used to discuss together the guy they were interested in, but it was the first time Lysandra was so openly excited about one of her men. “Three… is he a god or something? His body, have you seen him? Imagine him naked…” and Lysandra fanned herself with her hands. Aelin thought back at the day in his office when he had his polo shirt off. “He used to be a professional swimmer, he almost made it to the Olympics.” “Holy mother of all fucks.” And Aelin had missed Lysandra’s colourful language of when she was shocked. “So that’s why the swimming thing for the school?” Aelin nodded “Bad injury. Had to give up.” “Drat, that’s awful.” “Anyway, if you let him go I am coming back here and I’ll thump you.” They were chatting away when the door opened and Elias entered the shop. Aelin almost chocked on the coffee she was sipping. “Good morning,” he said in a very cheery voice and gave Aelin a huge smile. Then he turned to Lysandra “Is it me or Rowan is all of a sudden more gorgeous than I remember?” Aelin giggled “This is Lysandra, she is here visiting.” Then turned to her friend “Lys, this is Elias.” Lysandra’s mouth fell open “Hi…” she managed “I heard a lot about you.” “Good things I hope.” Lysandra nodded. “Shouldn’t you be at work?” “Aye lass, but I have a very tedious meeting coming up in two hours and a desperate need for books.” He leaned against the counter with his hands. “You need book two of The cursed Kingdom?” “And three, and four.” Elias added. Aelin jumped off the chair and went to get the books and Elias followed her at the shelves “Love the display. Are you trying to break everyone’s heart by recommending this series?” “No,” she handed him the books “I am just teaching islanders what a good Fantasy series looks like.” They walked back to the counter under the strict stare of Lysandra. “Can I at least hope in an happy ending? Because the angst so far is killing me.” Aelin put the books in a bag and handed them to him “Nope. As I said, buy wine. And prepare for the worst angst in history. And I am not telling you how it finishes.” “Ok, the warrior guy cannot die and he needs to end up with the Queen.” Aelin giggled and loved the fact that they could still talk and be around each other without it being awkward. “Just text me when you reach chapter twenty five of book two.” “Something bad happens?” “Just text me.” Aelin rolled her eyes. “Of course m’lady.” And he bowed to her with a huge spitting grin. His eyes bright with mirth. “And after this lovely conversation I have to bid farewell to you two lovely ladies and go back to a conversation about environmental friendly engines.” “I’ll text you.” He added staring at Aelin. “I am counting on it.” And with that he left the shop. Lysandra turned all of a sudden to her friend “That was Elias. As in theElias as in the other guy?” Aelin nodded. “Damn, now I understand why you were all flustered and confused. Seriously woman, what do guy eat around here?” Lysandra blurted out “Ok, he is not sex on two legs like Rowan but I’d definitely take him out for a ride if it wasn’t that I love Aedion.” “He is wonderful. Just…” “No spark. It’s fine. At least you are still good friends.” Aelin wanted to reply but a group of what clearly were tourists came into the bookshop. By accident Lysandra moved the mouse with her hand and it woke up the computer and she noticed the screensaver. It was a picture of Aelin on the beach. She had her arms up in the air and her feet in the water and a smile she had never seen on her friend. And her heart ached. She was happy for Aelin, but she also knew that the chances of her going back to London were now non-existent. And the idea of not having her around hurt. But she knew Aelin needed all of the good things that were happening to her and she hoped Rowan was intelligent enough to realise what an amazing woman he had won over. Lysandra got off the chair and started walking around the shop with interest and studied Aelin in her new element.

It was later in the morning when Rowan and Aedion returned to the shop. “Glad to see my bookshop is still standing, Fireheart.” And he pulled her to him for a hug and Aelin could smell the chlorine on him and flinched. She kissed him behind his ear and found a spot where the chlorine did not seem to affect him and smiled. “How was it?” She asked looking up at him. “I loved it. The kids are great and it felt awesome to be back in the water.” He kissed her “And after they all left I stayed in the water and swam a bit.” She stayed hugged to him but turned a little to look at Lysandra “We had a good morning too. And Elias popped in for a visit. He needed the other books in The Cursed Kingdom.” “Poor man,” Rowan joked and kissed Aelin’s head grateful that she did not hide from him the fact that the man had come to the shop. He was okay with them being friends because that made Aelin happy. And that was going to be his next mission in life: make her as happy as he could. “So you are taking the job?” “I will. After our break. I already told them so.” He explained. And Aelin grinned. She was happy that Rowan had made that step, he seemed happier all of a sudden “Now I just need to see you swim.” Lysandra’s eyebrows went up in acknowledgement and she thought about the conversation they had earlier. “I was thinking…” began Rowan and Aelin gave him a puzzled look and he ignored her “What about dinner all of us together at my place tonight?” Aelin was staring at him in disbelief. What had happened to him all of a sudden? She looked at his serene face and she realised they were a long way from the grumpy man who had kicked her out of the shop and told her she was nothing to him. She slid her arms around his waist and almost purred. She did not care if her friends were there. She needed that. Plus, in the past she had to suffer Lysandra and her PDA with other boyfriends. “Sounds like a brilliant plan.”

Rowan had closed an hour earlier and affixed a sign on the door advising the customers that the shop was going to close for four days for holidays. They had all gone to their respective places to pack and get ready for their trip. Aelin felt on cloud number nine. They arrived at Rowan’s at six thirty. They had decided for an early dinner. They didn’t want to stay up too late considering the early departure on the schedule for the following day. Once at the house, Rowan welcomed them in and his place smelled like delicious food. Apparently Rowan was good at cooking. Aelin was eager to see if she could add that one as well to the list of skills the man had. “Come and sit in the living room.” “Wow.” Was Lysandra’s comment at the sight “And I thought Aelin had a problem with books. Looks like you are worse than her. Definitely the man of her dreams.” And she winked at Aelin with a mischievous smile. Rowan pretended to ignore the comment and opened a bottle of wine “You can drink too since you did not drive here.” Aelin rolled her eyes. He was so overprotective. “Yes, dad.” And Lysandra laughed loudly and Aelin had half an idea of why. Rowan filled their glasses “dinner will be ready soon.” And disappeared back in the kitchen and Aelin glared at Lysandra. “What?” He friend whispered “I am just helping.”

Rowan came back a few minutes later with a fantastic series of plates with mouthwatering food. “You made all this?” Asked Aelin incredulous. “I did.” Then he brought over the last two dishes. He had made an amazing pork roast with vegetables, and roasted potatoes. “These are for you.” He gave Aelin a plate with fries “I know you love them, although you are missing out on my roasted potatoes.” “Who said I am missing out?” She grinned. They began eating and Aelin was amazed s the meal turned out to be wonderful and she wondered if her could be any more perfect. “I have found a place for us where to stay. It’s a cottage I knew and they had space for the nights we needed so I went ahead and booked it. Hope it’s okay.” “As long as it’s the one with the beach view.” Aelin had her priorities all right. “It is. I also booked our ferry ticket so we don’t have to worry too much.” “What time would you like to leave tomorrow?” Asked Aelin knowing that Rowan already had an action plan. “I’ll come and pick you up at seven. Better leave early, especially if we plan to go to Luskentyre. I plan on having to drag Aelin away by force.” He grinned at her and brushed her hand “We have the ferry at 13:15.” He took a sip of his wine “I had a look at the forecast and it looks like we are going to be very lucky. There is a warm front coming and it’s going to hit us right when we are away. but…” and he stared at the two women “bring clothes to protect you from the wind. Aelin knows how bad the wind can get out here.” And his piercing green eyes were on Aelin. “I am going to bring a swimsuit. I don’t care. I need to swim in those waters.” “I’ll bring medicines.” He replied glaring at her.

The dinner went on a bit longer but at 9 Rowan decided he was sending everyone home. They had a long day ahead and they needed rest. “You are kicking us out so you can read.” Aelin told him brushing a kiss on his cheek. “I am kicking you out because we are leaving early tomorrow.” He leaned into the kiss. “Do you want a help cleaning up?” She offered but he refused “Pans and pots are already washing in the dishwasher. I just need to do the dishes. It won’t take me long.” “Okay” she said brushing his hand.

Once at the door Lysandra and Aedion said their goodbyes and then the woman dragged her boyfriend away to let the two some privacy. “Thank you for tonight. It was very nice of you.” Rowan kissed her and pinned her against the wall near the door. Aelin’s hands went straight for his hair and replied to the kiss with the same need as him. When she came up for air she stared him in his green eyes “I love you, mo chridhe.” “The more you say it, the more your accent gets better.” And he kissed her again. “I love you, mo chridhe,” His hand brushed her hair and kissed her one last time for good measure. “Tha gaol agam ort.”

#rowaelin #rowan x aelin #rowan whitethorn #aelin galythinius #aedion x lysandra #lysandra #aedion ashryver #fanfic #fluff #throne of glass series

[calypsoff]

Sixty Six. Part 2

To say the least it was kind of nice to have Chris in bed with me even though we slept apart, it was just nice and warm in the bed with him. Lifting my head up and looking behind me, he’s not in bed of course “looking for me” looking to the door, he caught me “not exactly, just checking if you left because I am on the edge of the bed, took all the space” resting my head back on the pillow “have you seen how skinny I am, that is a lie” a smile formed on my face “is that breakfast?” I questioned “for me yes” pulling a face at him “I’m joking, it’s for you” I let out an oh and I turned onto my back “miss me that much?” Lifting the covers over me, my boobs are everywhere recently. They are big, big for me anyways “uh, let’s not get above your station now. You want to sit up?” Nodding my head, wish he could pick me with his skinny self. Shuffling up on the bed, I feel his eyes on me so much, I can feel his gaze “stop it” I mumbled, Chris chuckled “what? I can’t look, we married” fixing the covers over my legs smiling “you grown, like a lot. I think your nipples are happy” pulling at my tee laughing “nigga” looking up at him “is that the rose from my bed?” I pointed out “does it matter?” He placed the tray on my lap, didn’t think he knew where things were in this home “I deserve a fresh one, I wanted two” Chris groaned out “I’m joking, awww this is so cute Chris. Thank you, really mean it” he moved back smiling, he is so proud of himself “I will put the TV on for you, I’m going back down. I’m making myself some food” letting out an oh “Rorrey not stayed here?” He shook his head making his way around the bed “he left, maybe he has a lady, but he went after my court case. What trash you want to watch?” He is cute, made me four boiled eggs and toast and took the crust off for me, he is the cutest “erm, anything. You not going to eat upstairs then? Nobody is here” I asked “I will come back up after, I’m just going to get something” I need this “I like your tan, you look good” he is cute, I keep saying this but he is being the cutest.

I was actually waiting for him to come back and he did, with a bowl of cereal that he took so long to get “it’s nice to know you know how to keep a house clean, we need to have arguments more often don’t we” watching him walk around the bed “no, no more. I am sick, I just miss you. It’s always me in the doghouse, you do something dumb then I can have this bed” what is he like “whatever, but I ain’t forgiven you just yet” I lied, he sat on the edge of the bed “and I get it, that is why I posted your baby picture. Like the longer you don’t forgive the worse the pictures get” mean mugging him, I didn’t peep a word but stare at him. He looked behind him at me and laughed “you need to quit that shit, you look like a fanpage. Getting on my damn nerves!” Annoying ass “nah, I ain’t quitting. Until I meet Rihanna, it’s my dream too” I shuddered as he slurped the milk from the bowl “getting flashbacks, you know I slurp good” how did he know I shuddered “be quiet, so what did you do while I was away? Cry yourself to sleep?” He turned his body to me so he can see me “I slept on your side of the bed and sniffed your panties, stank as hell” I swear I wanted to throw my pillow at him but that means I would have to move “you’re actually nasty, I finished my breakfast thank you. I appreciate it” he grinned at me “I will take your plate then” shaking my head “I can, don’t” he shot up from the bed “no, let me. Please; I want to show you something” oh he got something to show me “ok, you go for it then” I sat back on the bed.

Chris came back in the bedroom with the biggest grin on his face, it’s kind of weird that he is smiling the way he is “what?” He made his way over to me “mhmm I came to give you this” he bought forward a box “awww for me?” I love gifts “yes” taking the white box from him “hope you like it” he sat on the edge of the bed “depends, I might dislike it and then you will have to get something else” pulling at the bow “you’re stressful” shaking my head smiling, pulling open the box “a chain” lifting the box up “yeah, just scan it. On Spotify, find out what it is” reaching over and grabbing my phone “I have Apple Music?” Chris side eyed me “I’m playing, I have both apps” he is getting annoyed with me, let me stop playing with him. Sliding across to find the app “I have so much on this phone” tapping on Spotify “so I just take a picture of it” Chris reached over and fixed the chain “tap that, now do it” he tapped my camera “don’t act like you know what you’re doing now” taking a picture and the then it loaded “oh” our first dance song ��I hate you” I paused, placing the back of my hand just over my mouth feeling myself getting choked up. I breathed out moving my hand back looking down at my phone as the song played “you really hurt me Chris” looking up at him, wiping the tears that fell, stopping the song “forget everything, the media coverage but just your actions, you hurt me. And that is what bugged me the most, you didn’t take fault. You just blamed others and even then you didn’t admit to it, you lied to my face. You caused me so much stress for what?” I sniffled “you wanted me to break you down and even then you did it back at me, you hurt me a lot. Hurt that didn’t need to happen, worst of all Chris I felt like you didn’t want me, like you regretted being married. I felt the hard work for us just went and I was being judged because of it, I was so hurt by you. Then you didn’t even call and you can’t justify doing that, you just forgot about me. I am pregnant and anything could happen, it hurt me being in that bed when you weren’t there. I had to hurt you, you had to feel the hurt I feel because I felt unworthy like I did with Rakim and it was so unfair, so very unfair” wiping my tears as more tears came, he did hurt me.

“I was thinking like why me, I married him is he not happy with me. I just hated that I was pregnant and married because then I can’t do anything but be at home. I look the fool because people were being so rude about it, while I was hurt you was in Canada and even when I questioned it you lied and yeah, I just was hurt by your actions more than anything. You knew what you did and didn’t want to handle the consequences when everything was good with us, what else could I do to make you better. Where do I go wrong that you had to entertain some whore, I questioned myself and I was hurting so much. If you were my boyfriend Chris I would have got you back a whole lot worse but I’m not in that era of my life, I am going to be a mother, so I have that mentality, but I feel you strayed away from that” I took in a deep breath “thank you for this though” I don’t remember if I said that to him.

“I’m sorry Robyn I am, I fucked up. I really did, and in that moment you don’t see it because it’s not bad, I am not excusing what I did. And also what I did when I came home, I was so close to losing you and I was scared of that, if we are being truthful. I questioned myself if getting married is what I wanted so early on and I have been questioned that at the interview and I meant what I said, I don’t regret it because I have peace in my heart, it’s been horrible without you Robyn, every day just waking up lonely. I felt like shit, I was lost in the moment and I became the asshole you always say I am, and for that I am so sorry, I really mean it. I hate to see you cry and I rather be here making it up to you then lose you, my daughter. I can’t wait to meet her, hoes are for then and not for a lifetime, but my intention was never that, when I was speaking to India in that setting it was literally oh you moved to Cali, you love it there and whatever and then she said it to me, are you up for cheating. I was shocked, how can one be so upfront about it, I was shocked. And me not calling you, I am sorry. I got to Drake’ home and lost my mind, I didn’t even do that on my stag night, I don’t expect you to forgive me, I hurt you” I am glad he understands “but I mean what I say, I love you and I don’t regret anything that happened between us, the high life got the better of me and I am not like that, I am really not but I lost myself. I am just going to watch myself for next time, if there is of course” he laughed, he knows damn well he is banned for now.

I swallowed hard “the things that went on in my mind, I didn’t want our daughter to be in that setting. I just always wanted different for my kids. A loving father, it would break me if my kids didn’t get that and I was just panicking that I made that mistake, I didn’t know this man I was seeing” my voice broke, I am so emotional about this “I was so worried, I know nothing in life is perfect but I would like my kids to have a father that loves them, then I found out it’s a girl and I just thought back to me. Broken home, I am scared of that a lot. I know I didn’t make a mistake but it’s when everyone was saying it, I rushed, and I didn’t think. Got to me, and me. I have issues myself, giving myself to any man anyways so giving myself to you and you did that, it brings me bad memories and it makes me fearful. Mel and I did see Captain, twice actually” I laughed sniffling “he said that he never said it would be perfect, but your husband he is a good guy. He means no harm, I know you want to leave. And I felt like that because you came home and made it worst to me, your shitty attitude towards me and it’s like with you, if I don’t break you down you continue this circle of being a dick. I have said it countless times, you are awful with your mouth and your temper can be bad. Speaking about it with you, it has made me upset again of course but we didn’t speak on it because I stopped speaking to you in a way and then in Mexico it was more me breaking you down. I just want you to understand that it’s not just me and you but we have a child now, and what we do now will affect our child and I want our child to have the best, I will do just that” I didn’t expect me to cry like that “I get it, you have always been fearful of having a deadbeat father for your kid, I know that was a fear of yours and I don’t blame you for it. I am not saying it will ever happen, but I promise you I would be the best dad to our kids, you know we going to have more so yeah” I smiled a little “I am taking you out by the way, tonight. I am paying” looking up at me “really?” he nodded his head “I got to make it up to you, I love you Robyn. I want you to understand that I ain’t ever going to let that happen again, I got burnt” I think he has realised that now.

I thought I would look cute, seeing as Chris is taking me out I want to impress my little date for the night so I am wearing an off the shoulder wrap midi dress in white, I think I look cute as hell so we shall see from his reaction. I do hope he takes me Giorgio Baldi, I am kind of missing that place. Watching my step as I made my way down the steps, I have been trying to keep myself away from the heels, but I feel cute today, my feet have kind of got better so I don’t want to be in heels because they are getting better “I hear you coming down now” I stopped walking staring at him “I am joking, wow twin. Oh wow, you look amazing omg!” he grinned stepping back, his reaction made me smile “you look so fucking good Robyn, wow! I mean can we swap the dinner part and just you know” making my way down the steps and to the bottom “to the what? Why, what is happening after dinner huh?” Chris laughed “joking, wow. You look so good, like look at you” he clasped his hands together staring me up and down “be quiet, is the Uber here?” seeing as his ass doesn’t know how to get an SUV “actually I know how to do it, it’s the SUV” he bit his bottom lip, he is feeling me I can see the look in his eye “well let’s go then, after you. Don’t keep a pregnant lady waiting” I am hungry as hell right now.

I proud of him that he can finally order the SUV, it’s not even hard either “where are you taking me?” I have a feeling but I still need confirmation “your place twin, I know there isn’t any other place you would rather go now” I grinned “thank you, I have missed that place” I am excited “you do look amazing, I am not even joking. Like there is plenty of pregnant women but nothing like you, can we take a picture?” nodding my head “I love all my fans, you know that” Chris shuffled over to me “but that means you stop posting me every morning, please. You’re torturing me now” Chris taking a selfie to me is hilarious, but I am going to let him have it, he raised his phone taking a selfie. Wrapping my arm around his to move in closer, he is terrible, but I won’t say it. I just turned my face and kissed his cheek, them angles are bad “that is it, that means sex now” moving my arm back “whatever” he moved away from me “I am going to put I met Rihanna, and after that I will stop the pictures” I smiled “thank god!” I spat, he chuckled looking down at his phone “can I touch your bump? It’s been a while” he asked me without even looking at me, his face in his phone “sure, why not” Chris looked over at me, he reached his hand over and placed it on my bump and I just felt butterflies “mega mind baking” I kissed my teeth, he ruined that.

I am happy, he is spoiling me. Taking me out, got me a chain. He has listened to me cry and has just listened to me, I am happy “you look so happy to be in this bitch, this place is mediocre” here he goes “stop” I mumbled “I wanted to speak to you about Mel by the way, I mean I know this is not about Mel but I want to just mention that she is not staying with us anymore, she will be getting her stuff soon, just until it is safe to do so. I am not upset she is going but I am upset on why she is, what you said to Mel was very hurtful and she felt it, Mel and I came from the same place, the same background. We came up together, just like you wanted to help your friends so did I, I took Mel with me everywhere so yes the only thing she knows is to support me, and when you said what you said it hit her hard because you’re not wrong she has dedicate herself to helping me, to always making sure I am ok, I have Jen yes, but Mel is my main. You know that and she feels very low about herself, I said it’s not like that don’t move but she is but I would appreciate it in your own time but to say sorry because nobody deserves those words, she was there for me. I needed someone there, she came all the way from Barbados, and then you said what you said. I am not taking sides, but I want both you and my sister to get along, I want her to know that my door is open and not closed to her, I feel she is depressed, and she has been speaking to Barry still for you, she helped you get out of this Chris. Barry wanted you to go down for it all, he had it all for you to go down, she talked him into not doing it. Sold herself short because he thought they was getting back together, they aren’t but she did that for you but also she knew I needed you, but please just think about it” that is a long ass line “she really did that?” Chris questioned “yes for you” he is shocked “I don’t want her to move out, that wasn’t my intention. I was just angry; I know how close you both are I always expect Mel there with you. I will sort it out, promise” I believe he will “that is mad respect for what she did for me, wow” I think he sees that she wasn’t that bad one.

Tilting my head to the side “you seem annoyed” he does look it, I know him well “just this person is taking pictures and videoing and it’s like annoying, you got up and they was doing it” nodding my head, I always know when someone is doing that “it’s normal, it happens” I shrugged it off “aye bro, why you taking pictures of my wife, like you done it constantly. Even when she walking, just stop” he called him out and the place fell awfully quiet, I didn’t look but just looked at Chris’ face “leave it now” placing my hand over his “leave it ok, I seen you ripped out the bedroom for the baby” changing the subject “oh yeah I did, oh I made a mistake and I thought you told your family about the sex of the baby” I groaned out “It’s just Rorrey” I blowing out air “mhmm it’s fine, I want to have a baby shower and expose what I am having then, it’s fine. But how do you feel? It’s not the boy you wanted” I know he kept saying that “erm, I guess excited. I am, I think it’s going to be the biggest blessing to me” he seems nervous, made me smile “at the scan she was so active, moving away a lot and then she was sucking her thumb, I felt she was stressed out” I put my head down “she is connected to you, I get it. she’s going to make me grow up even more, I know it” looking up at Chris “she is going to make us both grow” we both not perfect.

#fanfic #fanfiction #chriannaff #chrianna ff #chrianna #chrianna fanfiction

[souvcniir]

*  bopping  along  to  rude  boy  by  rihanna  is  𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐙𝐎𝐍𝐀  ❝   𝐑𝐈𝐙𝐎   ❞  𝐆𝐈𝐋𝐁𝐄𝐑𝐓  ,  the  twenty  one  year  old  cis  woman  thrown  back  to  their   hospitality  management with  some  of  her   memories  .  voted  most  likely  to  star  in  their   own  reality  tv  show ,  rizo  was  known  for  being  flamboyant  &  loquacious ,  go  figures  you'd  always  find  them  giving  drunk  pep  talks  in  the  girls  bathroom ,  but  grew  up  to  be  punctual  &  hard  headed.  

hi  ..  how  ya  doing  ?  it’s  me  ...   again  .  gi  back  again  with  my  second  muse  who  is  just  ...  have  you  seen  her  ?  stunning  .  beautiful  .  the  mother  i  never  had   ,  the  sister  everybody  would  want   ,  and  the  friend  everybody  deserves  .  ASDFGHJ  .  let  me  stop  .  down  below  is  a  little  about  my  baby  doll  and if  you  already  liked  my  last  post  i’ll  definitely  be  bothering  you  about  plotting  with  this  baby  too  !!

*   𝐎𝐍𝐄                          𝐓𝐇𝐄   𝐀𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐓𝐈𝐂𝐒  .

gold   wings   dangling   in   between   collar   bones   ,   sun   light   parting   cloudy   skies   ,   vowels   dipped   in   honey   ,   baths   filled   with   rose   petals   ,    sketches   under   a   cotton   candy   sunset   . 

*   𝐓𝐖𝐎                          𝐓𝐇𝐄  𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐂𝐒 .

full   name.   arizona  scarlett  gilbert  .   nickname(s).   rizo  ,  ari  ,  zo  ,  zona  .   preferred   name.   rizo  and/or  ari  .   past  age.   twenty  one  .   present  age.   thirty  one  .   date  of  birth.   october  eleventh  .  zodiac.  libra  . gender. cis  woman  .   pronouns. she  and  her  .   sexuality. heterosexual  .   younger  faceclaim.   charlotte  d’alessio  .   older  faceclaim.   alycia  debnam  carey   .

*   𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐄                          𝐓𝐇𝐄  𝐑𝐎𝐎𝐓𝐒  .

(   death  ,   specifically  cancer   ).  

    in  her  first  cry    ,     she  was  gifted  an  echo   .    something  said  to  be  a  miracle  especially  upon  ears  that  had  once  suffered  the  news  of  a  lost  future  of  bearing   children  .     that  night  ,  prayers  of  thank  you’s  were  sent  to  the  heavens    ,  and  mouths  were  stuff  with  love  sculpted  by  two  pairs  of  glimmering  emerald  hues   .   

    granted  fifteen  years  of  sweetness  and  happiness  that  painted  countenances  .    the  two  were  split  from  the  same  soul  .   her  sister  was  contagious  and  arizona  was  syrupy  .   never  each  other’s  shadow  ,  just  each  other’s  biggest  fan  .  the  girls  were  great  apart  ,  but  together  they  were  unstoppable  .  but  just  like  summer  sunshine  ,  rapid  thunderstorms  creep  up  on  you  without  warning  .  their  thunder  fell  into  their  ears  as  a  disease  too  far  along  to  promise  hope  .   in  the  blink  of  an  eye  ,  cancer  had  disguised  itself  as  her  twin  sister  ,   the  light  that  once  sparkled  in  her  eyes  died  out  .

    equivalent  to  a  nightmare  ,  when  the  sun  forgets  to  rise  and  feet  forgot  how  to  move  ;   she  was  haunted  by  a  ghost  who  had  her  face  .   swore  she  could  hear  her  in  the  dead  of  the  night  ,  and  sometimes  even  in  broad  daylight  .   grief  left  her  clinging  to  bedsheets  that  still  lingered  of  her  sister’s  memory  ,  and  soon  her  emerald  hues  became  a  reminder  of  a  child  lost  .   she  no  longer  had  her  sister  to  hide  behind  ,  and  her  parent’s  were  no  longer  able  to  pretend  they  could  look  her  in  the  eye  .

reminded  herself  she  was  alive  until  tears  hung  in  her  eyes  and  screams  left  her  mouth  until  voice  was  no  longer  recognizable    .  she  might  not  be  able  to  live  life  by  her  sister’s  side  ,  but  she  could  live  life  for  her  sister  .    that  night  ,  her  hands  were  drenched  in  cold  glue  from  gluing  herself  back  together  .  and  after  that  ,  cloudy  skies  cleared  and  only  the  lingering  smell  of  raindrops  remained  .  she’d  never  get  over  it  ,  but  she  would  not  become  it  .

*   𝐅𝐎𝐔𝐑                         𝐓𝐇𝐄   𝐏𝐀𝐒𝐓  .  

grief  no  longer   visible  in  tawny  features  ,   she   radiated  a  warmness  that  seemed  to  be  nothing  but  intoxicating  .   clung  to  a  desperation  to  escape  a  town  filled  with  broken  hearts  and  disappointment   and  took  a  big  deep  breath  of  a  new  beginning  at   rom  valley  university  .

she  was  a  face  you  spotted  everywhere  ,  on  the  sidelines  with  pom  poms  in  her  hands  and  in  class  whispering  about  how  she  had  no  idea  what  was  going  on   .   being  involved  was  something  she  thrived  on  ,   and  because  of  that  she  was  known  for  being  the  social  butterfly  ,   the  chatter  bug  ,  and  the  girl  who  always  had  a  smile  on  her  face  . 

 not  a  dumb  girl  ,  but  she  happened  to  be  one  of  those  people  who   prioritized  their  social  life  instead  of  their  grades  .  had  to  really  apply  herself  for  anything  above  a  low  b  ,   but  as  we  all  say  c’s  get  degree’s  .  and   truthfully  she  was  more  worried  enjoying  life  rather  then  having  a  break  down  over  a  calculus  class  .  

had  a  bad  habit  of  speaking  without  thinking  ,  and  feeling  without  processing  .  life  is  too  short  so  she  refuses  to  be   someone  who  keeps  her  emotions  bottled  up  .   instead   wears  them  in  facial  expressions  and  words  of  anger  or  joy  or  sadness  .  if  you  did  something  wrong  ,  she’ll  tell  you  .  if  she’s  feeling  a  type  of  way  ,  you’ll  know  .  but  because  of  this  she  is  very  forward  with  showing  those  she  cares  about  ,  she  cares  about  them  .  her  love  language  is  pecks  on  the  lips  and  i  love  you’s  before  she  ends  the  call  .   

*   𝐅𝐈𝐕𝐄                         𝐓𝐇𝐄   𝐂𝐔𝐑𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐓   .

not  as  open  as  she  used  to  be  ,  but  she  still  shines  bright  .   learned  to  bite  her  tongue  and  control  her  careless  ways  .  in  some  ways  ,  she  simply  just  matured  ,  no  longer  that  twenty  year  old  something  that  can  get  away  with  screaming  in  the  rain  because  she  needed  to  get  it  off  her  chest  .

thinks  about  her  sister  more  then  she  did  before  ,   her  mother  says  it’s  because  she’s  experiencing  firsts  that  she  wishes  her  sister  was  there  to  see  .  she  still  refuses  to  show  her  bleeding  wounds  ,  instead  bandages  them  up  every  night  and  whispers  i  miss  you’s  to  the  sky  .

fell  into  the  career  of  a  wedding  planner  and  has  never  been  so  in  love  with  a  job  before  ,  it’s  everything  she  had  ever  hoped  for  .  she  gets  to  be  creative  ,  interact  with  people  on  the  daily  ,  and  make  other’s  happy  .  though  ,  it  has  made  her  a  true  romantic  .

her  relationship  with  her  parents  is  special   , something  that  formed  as  she  got  older  and  began  to  understand  that  yes  she  lost  her  other  half  ,  but  they  too  lost  a  child  .   she’s  grateful  for  her  parents  and  is  constantly  reminding  herself  to  give  them  some  extra  love  .  at  the  end  of  the  day  ,  they  are  all  she  has  . 

she  lives  in  the  city  of  new  york  in  a  beautiful  apartment  ,  and  while  it  is  such  a  different  atmosphere  then  the  small  town  she  was  raised  in  ,  she  enjoys  it  .   but  her  being  her  ,  she  still  needs  to  experience  as  much  as  she  can  and  so  you’ll  her  packing  her  bags  every  so  often  and  living  it  up  in  a  different  country  or  a  different  city  for  a  few  weeks  and  of  course  dragging  a  few  of  her  friends  with  her  .

*   𝐒𝐈𝐗                         𝐓𝐇𝐄   𝐏𝐀𝐒𝐓  𝐈𝐍  𝐓𝐇𝐄   𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐓   .

it  feels  like  a  case  of  deja  vu   ,  so  familiar  she  has  to  stop  and  think  about  it  for  a  little  .   swears  she  see’s  pieces  of  her  future  in  her  dreams  ,  and  yet  they  feel  so  real  it’s  almost  as  if  she’s  already  lived  it  .  sometimes  she  feels  like  she’s  going  crazy  ,  but  most  time  she’s  losing  herself  in  the  moment  .  

*   𝐒𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐍                          𝐓𝐇𝐄  𝐄𝐗𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐒  .

she  wears  her  sister’s  ashes  in  a  wing  shaped  necklace  ,   and  later  on  decided  to  get  something  permanent  via  tattoo  .   her  tattoo  is  located  on  her inner  arm   and  looks  a  little  something  like  this  . 

she’s  a  travel  bug  ,  and  has  been  to  countless  of  places  .  she’s  one  of  those  people  who  has  a  journal  tucked  away  with  every  single  place  she  has  ever  wanted  to  visit  and  she  will  complete  her  list  .

in  college  ,  she  was  one  of  those  people  who  wrote  the  prettiest  notes  that  you  have  ever  seen  ,  did  she  waste  more  time  writing  them  then  actually  studying  ?  yes  .

she  started  playing  soccer  in  elementary   school  and  actually  studied  at   rvu  on  a  scholarship  .  it  was  one  of  the  first  activities  that  arizona  did  outside  of  her  sister  and  after  her  passing  it  because  a  way  to  get  her  mind  off  of  her  passing  .

*  𝐄𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓                          𝐓𝐇𝐄   𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒  .

*   again  ,  these  are  simply  just  ideas  to  give  us  something  to  start  with  ,  i  am  open  to  anything  that  is  not  mentioned  as  well  am  completely  and  totally  okay  with  switching  things  around  and  adding  things  to  these  ideas !!!  i  love  plotting  and  bouncing ideas  off  of  each  other  so  don’t  be  afraid  to  stray !

                    LOOK  ,  WE’RE  IN  TUNE  ,  WE’RE  IN  SYNC   .  EYE  TO  EYE  ,  DON’T  NEED  TO  THINK  (  PAST/PRESENT  CONNECTION  ┋  OPEN   )  .     labeled  as  the  duo  to  be  reckoned  with  ,  there’s  love  between  these  two  that  not  even  words  could  explain  .    a  friendship  that  has  last  a  decade  ,  you  can  hear  them  constantly  giggle  how  they’re  soulmates   .    that’s  just  their  bond  .  secrets  ,  laughter  ,  memories  ,  communication  without  words  ,  a  lifetime  of  inside  jokes  ,  being  attached  at  the  hip   .   this  is  just  a  forever  thing  .

                  WE’RE  BOTH  DROWNING  IN  GASOLINE  ,  BURNING  OVER  TIME  .   (  PAST  CONNECTION  ┋  OPEN   )  .    this  friend  is  someone  that  arizona  held  close  to  her  heart  ,  when  memories  crept  back  up  on  her  and  that  empty  feeling  in  her  heart  escape  bars  she  seemed  to  always  find  comfort  in  this  person  .  and  always  promised  them  ,  that  they  could  find  comfort  or  at  least  a  set  of  ears  in  her  .

                  I  KNOW  YOU  SAID  LEAVE  ,  BUT  FUCK  WHAT  YOU  SAID  .  CAUSE  YOU’RE  STEADY  CRAWLING  ON  YOUR  KNEES  AGAIN  ,  YOU  NEED  A  FRIEND  (  PAST  CONNECTION  ┋  OPEN   )  .    this  was  someone  that  brought  the  worse  out  in  arizona  .   they  are  the  whispers  of  careless  actions  in  each  other  ears  and  blurry  lines  of  what  they  are  to  each  other  .  stolen  kisses  and  screaming  voices  the  consequence  of  that  .  but  regardless  of  where  they  stand  in  one  another’s  life  ,  they’re  the  prime  example  that  not  every  bond  should  last  .

                  SAME  CREW  ,  I  AIN’T  HANGING  WITH  NO  NEW  BITCH   (  PAST/PRESENT  CONNECTION  ┋  OPEN   )  .    a  group  of  friend  who’s  energy  is  contagious  .  in  college  they  were  the  ones  people  watched  from  afar  and  earned  for  something  just  like  it  .  they  had  their  fair  share  of  fallout’s  ,  nights  of  blacking  out  and  holding  each  other’s  hair  back  ,  hungover  brunches  ,  embarrassing  stories  during  each  other’s  weddings  ,   but  their  bond  is  for  life  .  

              I  MIGHT  BREAK  UP  WITH  YOU  ,  JUST  TO  MAKE  UP  WITH  YOU  .  AT  THE  END  OF  THE  DAY  ,  BOY  ,  YOU  KNOW  THAT  I’M  ABOUT  TO  WAKE  UP  WITH  YOU  .  (  PAST  CONNECTION  ┋  OPEN   )  .    the  most  serious  relationship  arizona  had  in  college  ,  and  it  was  mixed  with  such  high  and  low  moments  but  regardless  the  two  always  found  their  way  back  to  each  other  .    for  arizona  ,  she  was  in  love  and  they  were  all  she  wanted  .  no  matter  what  .

             MANY  TIMES  WE  FELT  IT  ,  CAME  CLOSE  FOR  A  MINUTE  .  WRONG  PLACE  ,  WRONG  TIME  ,  YOU  WERE  ALMOST  MINE  . (  PAST  CONNECTION  ┋  OPEN   )  .    it  always  felt  like  more  .   lingering  touches  and  avoiding  the  conversation  ,  almost  never  given  the  right  opportunity  to  say  how  they  really  felt  and  in  return  for  years  watched  one  another  fall  in  and  out  of  love  with  other  people  .

#death tw #again.intro #◟ ♡ ⋅ . mun . ﹛ 𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐙𝐎𝐍𝐀 ﹜ : introduction . #again lmk if i missed any trigger warnings #i did not prof read so asdfg #n o clowning allowed

[lululawrence]

lululawrence’s Fics Posted in 2019

Master Fic Masterpost / Buy me a Coffee?

2019 was a bit crazy, but I’m so proud of the fics that I’ve been able to write and publish this year! There were quite a few of them, so here they are in order of when they were published. I hope you enjoy!

Hey Look, Ma (9k) - Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson

“I’m so sorry,” a deep voice said.

Louis made sure he’d only dropped his hat, reached down to pick it up, and was dusting it off when he finally looked up.

“It’s alright...mate…” Louis had seen this man before. He was gorgeous. He lived somewhere in the area, because Louis would often pass him on the street heading home from the tube or the nearest bus stop.

And now, here he was. Standing in all his fluffy, curly haired glory in front of Louis, apologising for nearly bowling him over.

“I really am sorry, though. Let me get you a coffee to make up for it?”

Or the one where Louis is a hybrid who agrees to go on a blind date with his neighbour's colleague's son the same night he literally runs into his dream man. Surely this isn't going to end well... or is it?

Charisma (5k) - Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson

Harry was smiling, and maybe blushing a little as well, as he accepted the phone back. “Thank you,” he glanced down at his phone and then said, “Louis.”

Smiling happily at the way Harry had said his name, Louis watched him leave the room. The further away he got, the more confused Louis was. Yes, Harry was gorgeous, but how the hell had he forgotten that Harry was also the man who had caused him to almost have a major accident earlier because of his haphazard driving? How had he allowed Harry to distract him with his charm to the extent that instead of giving the man a lecture, Louis accepted the offer of a date?

Well. Whatever the reason was, Louis wouldn’t forget when Harry called. Louis would give him a piece of his mind then and see if Harry still wanted to go out with him at that point. Because yeah, Louis was not mad enough about his overreaction to Harry, both on the road and at the event tonight, to turn that opportunity for a date down. He wasn’t stupid.

Or the one where Harry feeds on awesomeness (possibly literally). Louis is awesome and also angry. They’re probably going to fall in love.

Drabbles for Harry's Birthday Drive 2019 (25k) - Various Pairings

Each chapter is a different drabble dedicated to a person who donated to Harry's birthday drive! The prompt requested as well as the pairing are in the author’s note for each chapter as well. There are multiple pairings due to various pairings being requested by the donors, so please pay attention to that information in each chapter! Pairings include Harry/Louis, Zayn/Liam,, Grimmy/Louis, Greg/Louis,  Zayn/Louis, and Niall/Shawn.

It’s the Climb (25k) - Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson

Louis stretched out his back and turned around, startled to see the most beautiful man he’d ever encountered in his life riding towards him on a horse.

He had to still be asleep. This was one of those super weird dreams people had where the knight in shining armor (or in this case, red sleeveless flannel) literally rode up to them calling their name.

The Hannah Montana AU where Louis is a world famous punk rock singer with a stage name of William and Jay drags him back to Tennessee for the summer. In her attempt for Louis to get back to his roots, he just so happens to reconnect with Harry, and things never go quite as Louis expects them to.

It Was Only a Kiss (16k) - Various Pairings

I participated in a kiss prompt drabble challenge on Tumblr, and ended up writing thirty-three drabbles! Because of the amount all for one challenge, I decided to post them on AO3 to save them. Each prompt exists on its own without relation to others, so pick and choose as you like.

If You Want To Be Loved (0.5k) - Greg James/Louis Tomlinson

Greg can't sleep. For once, he doesn't really mind.

(Something’s Been) Hiding In My Heart (26k) - Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson

“My eyes must be deceiving me,” Harry said in his slow drawl. His voice was deeper than Louis remembered. Maybe some things had changed after all.

“They aren’t deceiving you. I’m here because I need you to finally sign these papers,” Louis said before he dropped the stack of paper on the hood of the car and held out a pen to Harry. “Just do it, Harry. Get it over with and then I’ll be out of your life forever, alright?”

Face blank of all emotion outside of a sneer Harry said, “You’ve gotta be shitting me.”

“God,” Louis groaned. Harry just couldn’t let this be easy. His pride wouldn’t allow it. “You know, I never really understood that phrase, but no. I am not ‘shitting’ you. Just sign the damn papers.”

“Ya know, I don’t think I will,” Harry said before turning back to the front door.

When the screen door slammed behind him, Louis realized Harry didn’t have anything else to say.

Or a Sweet Home Alabama AU where Louis comes home to finally get his divorce from Harry finalized so he can move on with his life. Alderford holds its own set of challenges when he returns, but by facing his past maybe he can find the healing he so desperately needs.

You Try To Be Everything (I Need) (36k) - Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson

Wars, and rumours of wars, were nothing new for the world in the twenty-fourth century. The fighting had evolved over the years, and rarely did it involve traditional weapons. A group most widely known as the Southern Powers gained strength amongst portions of the western European continent and spread quickly.

There was a fight the Southern Powers didn’t expect coming from the north of England, though. Resistance came in the form of an organised underground; a group comprised of people with the Touch that did the best they could to enforce a line that would not be crossed. Slowly, that line was moved from the Channel to boundaries further and further north. It seemed only a matter of time before the Southern Powers took over everywhere.

Until that time, people did the best they could to live their lives in some semblance of normality. For Louis Tomlinson, that sense of normality was about to change when his best friend, Harry Styles, goes missing.

Louis embarks on the journey of a lifetime where he uses his newly developed abilities to search for his friend, even when it takes him to places he never thought he would see while surmounting trials he never could have imagined.

You Turned Up (Like a Friend of Mine) (10k) - Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson

Louis padded downstairs, feeling incredibly thirsty. He filled up a glass of water and was about to take a drink when a loud knock sounded at the door accompanied by some yelling and ringing of the doorbell.

“What the hell?” Louis muttered, setting his glass on the counter and rushing towards the door.

As he got closer to the door, though, his mind stopped whirling because the voice was one that was etched forever in his mind, but one that he never thought he would ever hear again.

“Why’s the door locked? Did you seriously go without me? And who’s car is in the driveway? Lou, I knew you’d be late to get me. We’re going to miss-”

Louis whipped the door open, sure that he was just imagining things. There was no way…

Except there was. Standing on the front step was the curly haired, boy-faced Harry Louis had last seen ten years ago today.

Or the one where Harry disappears on graduation day only to show up on Louis' door looking exactly the same ten years later. Through a series of strange events, maybe they can finally figure out that they're destined to be together, no matter what.

Stealing Flowers (4k) - Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson

When Louis finally arrived, he walked in and grabbed an apron. Without even saying hello, he immediately approached Jesy and said, “Sexy Stranger steals flowers.”

She kept pouring the Tanqueray shots she had lined up in front of her, but her face screwed up in confusion. “I’m sorry, he what? Did you finally talk to him and that was what you learned?”

He nodded to another couple of tourists and welcomed them to the Way Station as they eagerly made their way to the Tardis restroom.

“No, I didn’t actually talk to him, but—”

“Then how do you know he steals flowers?”

She was wiping down the bar and stacking the empty glasses to take back to the dishwasher when Louis realized maybe he should help too. After all, he was there to work, not just talk to her about his maybe crush.

“I saw a poster.”

Or the one where Louis pines after the Sexy Stranger on the Subway and almost asks him out. That's when the strange posters start showing up around Brooklyn.

Yellow, Is It Me You’re Looking For? (3k) - Greg James/Louis Tomlinson

Standing in the mess Greg’s shift had left behind, Louis decided he would start small. He’d organise the paint colour cards that displayed the names and then get started on the sample tins. It wasn’t until he started opening the boxes of colour cards that Louis started to wonder whether Nick had been the one to name the paint after all.

Yellow, Is It Me You’re Looking For? was along the top left corner of a mustard yellow card. Nick was as big a fan of puns and music as anyone, so while it was unorthodox, Louis didn’t think too much of it. Part of the appeal of Annie’s Hardware was that they didn’t take things too seriously while always maintaining professionalism.

The names that followed did leave Louis to wonder if Annie knew exactly what the chosen paint names were, though. The Colour Of My Tears When ‘FRIENDS’ Ended for a soft white, Barneys Blood for a pale purple, and Blond. James Blond. for a sand tone had Louis convinced that it was a different co-worker who had renamed the colours.

Or the one where Louis has pined after Greg for what seems like ages, but when Greg renames the company's paint colors, something might finally be ready to give.

Like a Lighthouse On The Coast (I Need You) (19k) - Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson

Louis placed his order with the server and was about to type up some possible lyrics when he heard the music being piped in go silent and a throat was cleared into a mic.

Oh God no. If Louis had known there was going to be live music, he would have chosen somewhere else. Why did they have to ruin what was truly the perfect ambiance for Louis with some sub-par wannabe singer-songwriter?

“Hello, I’m going to sing some songs for you tonight. I hope you like them.”

The voice was deep and smooth, slower than Louis had expected. It made him want to look up at the singer rather than cower into the corner of his booth.

So he did. The man didn’t look nervous at all, but he didn’t look like the cocky asshole Louis had been expecting either. Louis continued to brace himself as he took in the simple Ramones shirt and jeans the man was wearing, when something Louis hadn’t been expecting happened.

The man began to play his guitar, and he was good.

And then, the man began to sing.

Or the one where Louis has all the pressure of his sophomore album and none of the inspiration, but maybe all he needs is someone like Harry Styles to turn all that around.

Oh Honey, Honey (4k) - Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson

Louis hated honey. He didn’t like the flavour, he didn’t understand why some liked it in their tea, he hated when it was put on sandwiches or cake or anything really. But, standing stock still in front of a rather large display of honey in that 24-hour Tesco, Louis found himself grabbing the largest jar of “100% pure London-local honey” and adding it to his trolley, simply because he knew it would make Harry smile.

Louis always wanted to make Harry smile.

Or the one where Louis pines after Harry, Harry is passionate about helping save the bees, and a late night shopping trip gone wrong doesn't end quite as horribly as Louis imagines.

You Don’t Care About Me (One More Night) (60k) - Nick Grimshaw/Louis Tomlinson

“Nick. You’re into guys. What should I do?”

Nick snorted. “You think just ‘cause I’m gay, I know what you should do?”

Louis blinked at him and Nick admired his eyelashes against his will. “Well. Kind of, yeah.”

“That is not how this works,” Nick said. “Besides, it’s not like you can just go and suck someone’s dick to be sure you like it the way I did. You’re too famous to try it my way.”

Louis’ expression changed to one of awe. “That’s how you figured it out? You sucked some random’s dick?”

Nick shrugged. “Yeah. Basically. I mean, I knew for pretty damn sure before that, mind you, but that did solidify the matter for me.”

“I need to suck a dick,” Louis said, turning to look at the wall of Nick’s room.

“You could suck mine, if it would help,” Nick offered before he could stop himself.

Or the one where Louis pines for Harry and Nick helps ease his way into figuring himself out through a friends with benefits sort of arrangement. Things quickly turn complicated.

A Taste of Honey (3k) - Greg James/Louis Tomlinson

Louis opened the door expecting someone with Deliveroo. Instead his gaze lifted so he could look at a very frazzled, incredibly fluffy haired Greg James who was inexplicably holding out a very large jar of honey.

“Hello, Gregory,” Louis said slowly.

Shifting around, Greg stepped forward and held the honey out towards Louis again. “This is for you.”

“Erm, alright,” Louis said before carefully taking the heavy jar from him. “Thank you?”

Greg flashed a wide grin, nodded, and then without another word walked back out the front door of the building.

Or the one where Louis has been pining after Greg ever since he started his job. Greg randomly showing up at his flat with a jar of honey might be just the push Louis needs to finally talk to the man.

Just Like Honey (3k) - Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson

Louis opened the door and he looked so soft and beautiful. He was in a ratty pair of grey joggers and that was it. Harry had never seen him look so good.

When Harry finally raised his eyes from Louis’ chest, he realised Louis had likely said something.

“Uh,” Harry said, clearing his throat. “Sorry, what did you say?”

Smirking a little, Louis crossed his arms and popped his hip. “I said, ‘Hello, Harry. What brings you here so late on a Saturday?’”

Then his brain kicked in.

“Right, fuck. Hi, Louis. I just wanted to give you this.”

Louis’ brows creased as Harry held the honey out to him. Taking the jar from Harry, he said, “Honey?”

Nodding, Harry said, “Yep. Hope you have a great night!”

Fisting his hands at his sides in frustration, Harry left the building as quickly as he could.

Honey, Honey, How You Thrill Me (3k) - Greg James/Harry Styles

Harry knocked once more before coming to the conclusion that knocking for longer than that was rude.

He’d just decided to leave when the door opened.

“Fuck, you were asleep, weren’t you?”

“Well, it’s past 8, so yeah, basically,” Greg said with a yawn.

God, he’d been asleep for over an hour. Harry was the worst.

“I’m so sorry. Here. Take this and get back to sleep. I’m so incredibly sorry for waking you up,” Harry babbled, shoving the jar of honey into Greg’s hands.

Greg looked at the jar then back up at Harry, still not saying anything. Probably because his brain was still asleep just like his body would’ve been if Harry hadn’t been a fucking idiot.

“Sorry again!” Harry said before giving a lame wave and rushing off to the nearest tube station.

Or the one where Harry pines after fellow Radio 1 DJ Greg James but doesn't know how to start a conversation with him...until he gets the needed inspiration.

Our Love is Timeless (6k) - Niall Horan/Shawn Mendes

He rinsed out his shampoo and began to scrub at his body. Turning around to rinse his back and wash his front, Shawn was not prepared to be met with a cursing blond Irishman.

Letting out a rather loud, high pitched scream and covering himself as best he could, Shawn backed up into the wall behind him, which also turned off the shower.

“Thanks, mate. Was hoping not to get my clothes entirely soaked,” the man said as he began stepping out of the shower stall. “Say, what year is it?”

“I...what?” Shawn sputtered. “You just show up, fully clothed, in a stranger’s shower and your first question is what year it is? How the fuck did you get in here? Why my shower? Who are you?”

“Well, yeah. I guess so. I’ve not quite got a handle of the whole time traveling thing yet.”

Or the one where Shawn falls for Niall, who just happens to be a time traveler. The course of true love never did run smooth.

Like Honey to the Bee (3k) - Nick Grimshaw/Louis Tomlinson

Nick didn’t even remember knocking, but suddenly the door he also didn’t realise he was leaning on opened and he started falling inside Louis and Harry’s flat.

“Fuck,” Nick blurted as he tried to right himself. He was caught by Louis, which was great because he was exactly who he wanted to see and he didn’t really fancy dropping a massive jar of honey on his doorstep.

“Nicholas?” Louis asked.

Nick couldn’t help it. Hearing Louis call him by his full name made him shiver. He usually hated it, but there was something magical about Louis Tomlinson that made the usual negative association suddenly become an incredibly positive one.

“I brought you honey,” Nick blurted as he handed Louis the jar.

“I can see that,” Louis said, sounding confused. “Thanks?”

“Of course! It’s what friends do, yeah?”

Or the one where Nick has been trying to find a way to get past the banter stage with Louis for ages, and honey might be just what he needs to finally do so.

Rings and Things (2k) - Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson

Niall: I know you’re a lesbian and all, but this is fast even for you

Or the one where Harry wakes up after a night of drinking to find her bed isn't empty and there's a ring she's never seen before on a very important finger.

The Only Thing That Keeps Me Grounded (28k) - Nick Grimshaw/Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson

“Shit, I definitely missed the last train.”

“Oh no,” Louis lamented. “I’d offer a ride, but I’m part of a carpool and we’re full already. I’m so sorry.”

“Really, it’s fine.” Then, what Louis said sank in. “Wait, I thought you were here alone?”

“Oh, I am. I’m the only one dancing here tonight. The others were working. In fact, here’s Nick now.”

It felt like slow motion as a tall, lanky man with incredible hair came walking over towards Louis. He smiled before pulling Louis into him and giving him a quick kiss.

“Nick, this is my new friend Harry. He just moved to the area and he’s amazing at swing. Harry, this is my husband, Nick.”

Fuck.

Or the one where Harry moves to Washington DC to be a nanny and never expects that his past struggles with love will be brought to a head. He definitely never expects the solution to it all will be the man of his dreams that just so happens to be married to the other man of his dreams.

A Halloween M(ass)hap (1k) - Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson

Harry was never going to forgive Niall. He’d been so distracted by his roommate’s cleaning and fussing while he had been looking for the perfect trousers for Liam’s annual Halloween fancy dress party that he’d not realised the black leather trousers he’d chosen to complete his vampire look were arseless.

Of course there was a no return policy, so he’d done the only thing he could do in order to not waste the money he’d already forked out online for the damn things: he added a cape.

Surely, nothing could go wrong.

I Wanna Love (Like You Made Me Feel) (28k) - Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson

By the time Harry and Louis are eighteen years old, they've known each other all four years of high school. Through those years, they never have a real chance to spend time together just the two of them. The summer after graduation gives them that chance, and it changes just about everything.

Ten years later, Louis returns home feeling like a failure after losing his job and not knowing where to go next. He never expects to run into Harry again, much less rekindle their friendship. Could this finally be their chance to finish what they started all those years ago, or did they really miss their chance at love?

Swipe Right for a Clean Flat (3k) - Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson

Harry was done. He was over this shit. He literally only asked his flatmate to do one chore, and that was the washing up. He couldn’t even handle a few plates and cups. Harry obviously overestimated him.

Louis wasn’t that bad. It was just that he only did the washing if he was going out to pull and wanted to bring someone home. If the dishes were put away, that was how Harry knew to vacate the premises. There was no way he was going to listen to yet another girl moan Louis’ name while Harry laid in bed and wondered what it might be like if only Louis liked men.

Glaring at the full sink and debating washing up himself - again - Harry finally turned and stalked to his room.

“Dire circumstances,” Harry muttered as he picked up his phone and unlocked it.

Or the one where Harry and Louis are flatmates and Harry is tired of Louis not doing the washing up. He figures signing up on Tinder as a hot girl might be just the fix for this issue.

You’re a Nightmare, I’m a Disaster (7k) - Nick Grimshaw/Louis Tomlinson

As Nick scanned the shelves, his eyes caught on a bright blue binding. Snooki, it read, A Shore Thing.

“Oh my God,” Nick mumbled, trying not to laugh as he picked it up. He’d watched bits and pieces of Jersey Shore way back in the day.

Without bothering to look any further around the store, he headed up to the counter where Blue eyes was watching him. Nick cleared his throat nervously and set the book on the counter and the man immediately flashed him a look of disdain.

“Seriously? Out of everything we have available, you chose the book we special ordered for a customer?”

“Well, it can’t be that bad if someone specifically requested it, right?” Nick said, trying to keep a teasing tone.

“Why do you think we still have it if it was a special order?” the man asked with a scoff. “They returned it after reading something like three pages.”

Nick frowned at the book. “Well that doesn’t seem very fair.”

Or the one where Nick is a writer, Louis works in a bookshop, and things don't exactly start off on the right foot, but they might just end on it.

The Goat Guy of Bethlehem (26k) - Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson

“What a pretty little thing!” a voice cried, catching Harry's attention.

Harry looked up, assuming it was a merchant talking to Gemma or some other “citizen” of Bethlehem, but when he did, he found a woman with bright eyes and long dark hair walking over to him.

“Me?” He wasn’t sure what to expect from any of this since she wasn’t a merchant he had met before.

“Yes, you! I think you’d make a very good husband for my son. Are these your parents?”

“Uh, yes?” Harry said, almost like a question. Robin and his mom just watched on with amusement, much to his chagrin.

Turning to Anne and Robin, the merchant woman said, “I’ll give you six goats for the marriage of your son to mine.”

Or every year, Harry and his family attend a church festival called Bethlehem. Harry's freshman year of high school Bethlehem expands, bringing in new vendors, including one that just might change everything for Harry. But first, he has to see if Anne and Robin are willing to part with him for the price of a few goats.

#mine #my fic masterpost #yearly masterpost #2019 masterpost #my fic #my fic rec #fic rec

[commander-hanji-zoe]

Beyond the vale

♥ I wrote this piece several years ago for Erwin week, I found it the other day forgetting completely that i’d written it. I decided to do it up a little and make a few edits before posting it again. When Erwin passes into the afterlife he is certain he knows where his soul is meant to rest, however, Mike finds him in the fog and helps to guide him home. Yes it’s another sad one. ♥

Word count: 1,959  Pairing: Referenced Erwin x Levi & Erwin x Mike 

There were colours Erwin wasn’t sure he’d ever seen before as he bore witness to the transcendence of life to death and in living through this saw time and space beyond their wildest dreams. 

It felt like flying, not too dissimilar to using ODM Gear but without the restraints or the pressure that came with it. He moved weightless through oceans, clouds, stars and forests great that he imagined existed beyond the wall, all of it was uncharted territory. The overwhelming beauty he beheld in the wakening of such terror was enough to drive anyone mad with confusions or repulsion at being allowed such splendour, yet Erwin felt a calming rain wash over him. Though he knew in his heart that the peace he found wasn’t to last, that was not his fate, it could not be after all he had seen. Erwin Smith’s soul was damned, he was sure of it, for the choices he made in life, the blood on his hands and ever expanding mountain of bodies his eternity was forever tainted.

Though the Universe seemed such a great and inviting expanse his calling was below, he trusted his instinct to guide him home. He felt his body grow warmer and the world spun darker around him, in the distance flames grew brighter and he knew that was where he must go that the smell of brimstone and an infinity of loneliness was where his throne lay. 

His skin prickled and fear threatened to take a hold, I am alone, this is my fate, I did this to myself, I chose this. I chose this. Unlike the soldiers who died for me, who had no choice, I did, I acted and regret has no place here. Regret has no place here. Erwin thought if he repeated the statement he might start to believe it, that’s what he had to do, continue to repeat the sentiment until he started to believe it and that belief would become a comfort blanket to him. Beyond the vale there were no doubt demons, their very design to break his tortured soul. Erwin would not run like a coward, in life as in death he promised.

He reached what felt like borderlands, his feet touched the ground for the first time since his passing. The earth was cracked and there steam escaped, hot, burning, the air cloying and heavy. He could see his reflection all around him, endless mirrors that illuminated the fact he would be forever alone, a fate timeless. That was the real hell, not pain or heat, it was memory and never knowing the touch of another’s skin, no voices to comfort, no laughter or joy.

He walked slowly, his hand outstretched waiting for the embrace of darkness and for his fate to be sealed. From this mountain of bodies there cannot be any escape. 

Erwin heard a familiar sound, a soft sound like someone smelling the air, “Where are you going?” A voice called out to him, he froze. I know that voice, but it can’t be… He can’t be here.

“Stay back, I’m going where I belong.” Erwin answered without turning to make eye contact with he other.

Mike walked up behind him, placed a hand on Erwin’s shoulder, “Erwin, you don’t belong there.”

Erwin’s breath hitched for a second, terrified to turn around, sure that the man stood behind him couldn’t be his old friend. Tears immediately begun to pool in his eyes, he was afraid to be alone. He was sure the man behind him would be a demon in the guise of Mike, taunting him.

As if reading his thoughts Mike sniffed at Erwin’s hair, “You smell awful,” he gave way to a slight grin, “Must have been your bloodiest battle yet.”

Erwin exhaled, a tear rolling down his cheek, he turned slowly, “Mike?”

Mike pulled him into a tight embrace, holding Erwin against him and in his arms Erwin found a home he didn’t believe he deserved. Mike’s hands rubbed his old friends back then squeezed him once more, his nose buried in the crook of Erwin’s neck, refusing to let go he whispered, “Let me take you home.”

Erwin pulled away, “This is my home now,” he stood firm, defiant, though the lonely smile he wore portrayed his deepest desire. 

Mike shook his head, “You’re delusional if you think this is where you belong my friend.”

Erwin gulped and faced his fate, “Of course I belong here, after what I did, all those…”

Mike cut him off and shook his head, “Forgive me Commander, you’re wrong.” He held his hand out to Erwin, “Please.”

Erwin was sure he’d never heard Mike talk so much when he was alive, he took that as a sign that maybe his old friend was right. Maybe it was his hubris and thoughts of grandeur that made him believe he deserved such a fate, there had been some honesty in his actions, they weren’t all selfish or ignoble. 

Though he hesitated for a moment, sure this was again a trick he took Mike’s hand regardless of trepidation.

Erwin felt weightless again and greater yet he felt the heavy weights from his shoulders lifted, the hell around him melted and he found himself stood in a green, open field full of wild flowers. He blinked a few times, the sun near blinding him, when his eyes adjusted he saw clouds in the sky and birds riding the breeze. He was trembling, finding himself in a world more beautiful than he’d ever imagined could have existed beyond the wall.

“I can’t believe I nearly lost you again to the darkness,” Mike sighed, still holding Erwin’s hand, his thumb rubbing one of Erwin’s knuckles. 

Erwin, still untrusting of his environment took baby steps, afraid the ground would fall from beneath his feet. It didn’t feel real, he had been prepared to die, he had accepted it, grateful of the final gift Levi was able to give him though he felt some selfishness when recalling his actions in death. The thought had him on the floor, awe-struck by the world he found himself in, his knees were weak. 

“This is beautiful,” he cried.

Mike knelt beside Erwin and placed an arm round him, “They will all come to know this place.”

Erwin looked up, “Even Levi?” He sounded pained as he spoke the name.

Mike sighed and gave a nonchalant smile, “Yes, even Levi,” he stood up and held out his hands for Erwin, “I missed you so much,” he confessed, helping to pull Erwin to his feet.

“I missed you too, especially your nose.”

Mike laughed, though his gaze fell to the floor unable for a second to make eye contact afraid of the old feelings that may be ignited. When he did look up and saw Erwin staring back at him, a beat passed where they gazed into one another’s eyes, memories from long ago stirred and a lifetime of complications and destruction that had come after. Mike took a small step closer to Erwin and cupped his cheek, he brushed a remaining tear with his thumb. Erwin took Mike’s other hand in his own and rubbed his knuckles. Mike gulped, his hand was shaking as he leant in closer to Erwin, his lips so close to the other mans when Erwin turned his head to the side.

“I loved him,” Erwin spoke sadly as he looked beyond Mike to where the field stopped. He let go of Mike’s hand and he took a few steps, hands clenched, “I love him.”

Mike followed him to the edge of the cliff, “I know you do.”

When Erwin looked down he couldn’t believe what he was seeing, the world he had been a part of was there right before him yet he had no way of touching it.

He looked down on Hanji and Levi sat on a rooftop, Levi’s head in Hanji’s lap, his hand clutched at his breast. Tears fell once again, he felt selfish for leaving them behind.

“Don’t worry, they’ll be okay.”

“How do you know?” Erwin replied as he knelt on the floor.

Mike shrugged, “Trust me okay?”

Erwin nodded, “Promise me?” He looked back up at Mike, eyes wide.

“I promise Erwin, they’ll all be okay, you did good by them and you will see them again.”

“Where is this anyway?” He was still in a daze but the scent of honeysuckle on the breeze made him feel at home.

“Everywhere, anywhere… It’s knowledge,” Mike paused, “Whatever you want it to be really.”

“Is it real?” Erwin asked afraid of the answer.

Mike bent down and kissed his cheek, guilt welled up inside of Erwin, “Of course.”

Erwin continued to watch one of his closest friends and his lover back on earth, emotion washing over him as he noticed the care with which Hanji was brushing Levi’s hair and the way Levi was holding the bolo tie he’d once worn.

Mike ran his hand through Erwin’s hair, “Erwin….trust me, you can get lost forever watching them,” he spoke kindly and Erwin understood. Whilst the afterlife allowed him to glimpse into the world he had once been a part of, he could not dwell on it for long.

But Erwin couldn’t help but ask, “How do you know…”

“Because I lost so much time just watching you,” he answered honestly, his hand still in Erwin’s hair. 

Erwin gulped, the tiniest, “Ohhh” escaping his lips, turning back around he noticed a new and strange addition to the field, there was a piano shroud in white light.

“Before you ask, things don’t always make sense here,” Mike paused, “And yet I distinctly remember you were good at playing when we were younger.”

Erwin smiled at the memory and walked across to it, Mike’s hand dropping to his side as the contact was broken. It was only then he noticed that Moblit was sat on the floor next to the piano looking lost, staring at the earth, his knees were up to his chest and he was holding himself in a tight squeeze displaying a vacant expression.

“Hey,” Erwin said softly as he placed a hand on Moblit’s shoulder, “They’re okay,” he grazed Moblit’s cheek with his fingers and then helped the smaller man to his feet.

Erwin sat on one of the stools and patted the one next to him, motioning for Moblit to sit.

Mike bent down and picked up a dandelion from the grass, he held it out to Erwin, “Remember these?”

“Always,” Erwin smiled as he counted down, blowing on the flower, making a wish as he did. When he’d finished making wishes, he turned his attention back to the ivory keys in front of him and started to play one of the songs he’d enjoyed playing often back when they were all cadets. Green and full of hope, Moblit and Mike joined in, singing quietly to accompany Erwin’s tune. 

Mike knew Erwin was no longer his, though in time they may be able to rekindle some of what was lost, but not to worry he finally had his dearest friend home, he had finally learnt the truth of it all and knew, with certainty that it would be okay in the end.

Back on earth Levi looked up at the nights sky, Hanji’s hand buried in his hair, the warmth of their body a great comfort. He seemed to freeze for a moment as if seeing a ghost.

“Levi?” Hanji asked worried.

Levi looked up at them, “Do you hear that?”

Hanji smiled, they had no idea what Levi was talking about. Seeds from a dandelion carried on the breeze were carried past them, the world was silent, “Yes.” They replied.

#Erwin Smith #Mike Zacharias #Erumike #eruri #writing #mine #aot #snk #afterlife

[mulderspice]

have you ever watched an episode of the Emmy award winning sci-fi drama, The X Files?  Maybe you’ve read my original post and yet you’re still wondering where the hell Fox Mulder got all those strands of hair on his jumbo gigantic head.  I am back and here to help you find the answers to some of your burning questions; as we celebrate the hard work and triumphs of the hair and makeup department on the Fox Lot and team up with my big huge brain and my New York State Cosmetology license to give the people what they want once again: another top ten guide to Mulder’s fucking hair..

upon making this post a second time (rip 😔), I realized that just about every episode (yes, every. single. one. even the ones without Mulder and the latest season where he has to share headspace with [redacted]) has its own important and iconic hair looks... You may recognize that some of these are slightly repeated from the last post but that’s ok! What I'm here to do is enforce! So lets get started..

#10 s6:e21 Field Trip: Here again we begin our journey into cosmetic superstardom with a personal favorite of mine.  Mulder rolling with the times by getting a haircut fresh off the FTF wave left our nation in fucking shambles. Can’t imagine going to see a major motion picture in theatres jam packed with Mulder’s most supreme hair looks only to come back to my tv screen to see it all gone away.  For students reading this post for educational purposes, this caused a worldwide walkout on popular salon franchise Supercuts in the year 1998.  However, a haircut didn’t necessarily mean Mulder forgot how to take care of his hair.  The precision and placement as each strand of hair perfectly outlines his jumbo head is revolutionary and inspiring.  Mushroom induced drug high? K. Lemme still grab my teasing comb and my hairspray and make sure I look presentable for when my partner walks into my apartment screaming abt “where's Mulder” and wanting “answers”.  The answer is this: this look is about giving people like myself with big heads rights and looking fuckable while doing so. 10/10 for inspiring hope.

#9 s1:e9 Space: Imagine you’re a few episodes into a show, the core plot is developing right before your eyes and you’re beginning to get to know The X Files three main characters; Fox Mulder, Dana Scully, and Mulder Hair Strands #1-3.  All is well except, you still have no clue how crucial, and critical Mulder Hair Strands 1-3 will become to the show and to your life and I am here to tell you that you are in for a very rude and bold awakening.  This message goes out to all the haters and all the people who didn’t believe Mulder’s hair was valid prior to season 4. He is here to tell you he DID know how to use dry shampoo and even the occasional blow dry oil and you can suck a dick abt it. Bold of you to assume he wouldn’t pull the round brush and the biosilk out the drawer to impress a visit to fucking NASA. 10/10 for involving science.

#8 s4:e6 Sanguinarium: I sit here writing to you today as the song ‘Handmade Heaven’ comes on shuffle; strikingly fitting for this raw and ethereal image of straight up beauty and wonder and magic and heaven in hair. This special, freshly washed and air dried smells like strawberries and sandalwood and fuckability. The look reaches through your TV and wraps its hands around your neck and sucks the life right out of you.  Are you gonna let it happen? You sure are.  Lucky for you, I just so happened to be there when the angels hand sewed each strand of hair onto his head and here’s what they had to say about it:  this is everything and more and the way Mulder has just washed his hair with fresh mountain water droplets hand collected like nothing else mattered. Put his clothes back on and went on his merry way. Can’t imagine being in Scully’s shoes ready to walk on in her partners room unannounced to go over serious case related matters and theories.  Woulda went bonkers. This truly is a handmade heaven.  Hand crafted by Mulder for Scully and for the good viewers of the globe. 10/10 for embracing me in its arms.

#7 s4:e3 Home: A look from one of primetime TV’s most notorious banned episodes.  Viewer discretion IS advised not only for the horrifying and cringeworthy content displayed in this episode, but for also making it painfully blunt to the viewer that Mulder’s hair follicles are happier and healthier than anybody else's will ever be in their lifetime.  In fact, I can feel my own hair falling out and being respawned onto HIS head as I type this and I’m sure you can too. The way the sun glistens off his golden brown strands makes me want to walk into oncoming traffic.  You might also notice how effortless this look was, as it probably only took a quick run thru with his fingers, and Mulder’s passion and need to look sexy at any time of the day at all times. It’s obvious that this kind of thing comes naturally to him, which just comes off as insulting to men everywhere. 11/10 for striking fear into men’s hearts.

#6 s4:e20 Small Potatoes: Genuinely took every bone and nerve ending in my body to not put this look in the top 5 even though it so clearly deserves it.  Here at mulderspice we believe in diversity, meaning it wouldn’t be right to make my top five greatest hairstyles ever produced on The X Files just of Mulder’s iconic and revolutionizing middle part (though really who is stopping me..). This screenshot in general has me up in arms at how perfectly the blue background matches his eyes, and how it accentuates his hydrated skin and lips.  But you’re not here for that. It’s the hair particularly that really pulls the shot together, as Mulder took the time that morning to spray it with some tinted dry shampoo that most defiantly and absolutely smells like chocolate.   This look feels like a warm hug on a frigid winter day. I feel EMBRACED and I feel CARED FOR thanks to the wonderful staff and team @ Mulder’s head and hair follicles. What the fuck could be better than this. 16/10 for making me feel some type of way.

#5 s4:e8 Tunguska: Currently you may not think anything of Krycek to the left of this image though ill have you know he plays an extremely vital part of this look and all the words I’m about to speak to you directly. So listen up: Krycek may have heroically slayed Mulder’s father in cold blooded and justifiable murder, but we thank him for this, as it caused Mulder to lash out in the best way possible: through looks. “Un-shun: Krycek do you think I’m good to bring my Redkin Rewind 6 styling paste with me or will the Russian TSA think of that as contraband? :Re-shun”.  A sweaty, manly and highly illegal treck through a Russian testing facility and a stint in a violent foreign PRISON surely was not going to stop Mulder from keeping his hair properly hydrated, styled and parted. That’ll really ruffle Krycek’s feathers and make him feel sorry for what he did…. The sexiest way to avenge the death of your deadbeat father. 24/10 for you know why.

#4 s1:e6 Shadows: In the year 1993, Mulder steps onto the scene, young, fresh faced, bright eyed and ready to give men around the globe what they (so desperately) needed: the encouragement to care about their hair.  Any backstreet boy you may know have this scene to thank directly, as this is what encouraged them to reproduce Mulder’s hair onto their own heads time and time again.  What I would give to see with my own eyes Mulder length times width times height his head to equal this perfectly proportionate look of volume and sexy. And who can I write a warrant out to for allowing this shot to take place.  Oh to be the various and expensive hair care products in Mulder’s bathroom …… 899/10 for starting a movement (-1 for making us do equations).

#3: s1:e10 Fallen Angel: The biggest regret I’ve ever had in my short little life was not adding this moment to the last post.  And tumblr deleted it in order to give me this opportunity to present this to you today.  By the way, that absolutely is in fact a choir of angels singing as you view this image. Go ahead and try to think of something on this earth that could be better than this tossled bed headed im-stressed-becos-my-partner-of-2-weeks-isn’t-seeing-the-big-picture-about-how-we’re-all-key-pawns-in-an-ongoing-government-conspiracy hairstyle hand crafted by Mulder all while holding his head in his hands hard at work trying to break through to the truth.  Scully [insert photo of Scully with her eyes popping out of her head here] and I both wanna rip our own hair out and throw it in the garbage. 2000/10 for making our hearts ache..

#2: s4:e10 Paper Hearts: Behold- the image I’m slamming down on the desk at full force when I finally get myself a therapist. I need a licensed professional doctor to help me understand the various angles that this purposeful shot affects my life health and well being. In a paranoia induced out of body experience Mulder took his pinky finger and parted his hair down the middle, took a protractor to perfectly round the tendrils falling ever so gracefully on his forehead and ran out of his apartment and through the woods of DC.  Doesn’t matter if he’s crazy? Doesn’t matter if its fuck all 4am? Who knows if the discoveries of this night is finally going to answer the heartbreaking questions regarding Mulder’s baby sister? Fuck it we’re just gonna make sure Scully has something to look forward to after being awoken yet again in the middle of the night and asked to come wrangle and control this stupid idiot.  This just makes me unhinged.  50000/10 for waking up in the middle of the night and doing the most for us all.  

#1 s4:e3 Teliko: This one will remain number one for as long as I shall live.  I’ve dedicated my life to this cause and I’m ready to make you painfully aware of it. Grab a pen and paper and get ready to do some heavy math with me because this look right in front of your eyes is the equation to happiness and sexiness. Can barely find the words to describe to you how this picture makes me feel. Each strand of hair is personally reaching down and wrapping his head in one big giant hug of protection and solitude.  Unbelievable that Scully didn’t head back to her hotel room and scream at the top of her lungs right after this. There’s no way she went about her day as normal without wanting to kick the shit out of him and then put him back together with soft feathery kisses.  What you are witnessing here is the very turning point of the show where Scully looked into into the very center point of that part and said “guess I have no choice but to fall in love with him 🚶🏽‍♂️”. Chris Carter’s idealistic version of Mulder and the one we actually ended ups seeing as viewers were so drastically different that it’s blatantly clear that he had absolutely no idea the cultural implications that were about to rock the world to its core and tip it on its axis when David Duchovny showed up on set looking like this. I could write a thesis about this. I could conduct research and studies about this.  I got kicked out of college because I cared more about this than I did actual schoolwork. I feel like I’m in a very sexy chokehold. Wish I could live forever in one little square pixel of this image.  Nothing means more to me than this.  1000000/10 no further comments.

and the honorable mentions go to....

s8:e16 Three Words: Dead? Did you die? Did you die and miraculously defy god by rising from the dead and coming back to life? Just got home from the morgue? Think nothing is the same? Left guessing if you’re a soon to be 5 minute father? Did you just fucking die? He’s lost his family and his job and the world just went on without him like it was nobody’s business.  Walked out of the morgue right to his apartment and what did he have left? His expensive array of hair styling and finishing products that’s what the fuck he had left.  Being an all around reject from society didn’t at all stop him from taking his fingers and dipping it into that Big Sexy styling pomade and fluffing his head to high heavens. As a personal fuck you to god and to John Doggett too.  He’ll never let you know the emotional hellstorm going on in his life in that moment but he WILL make it known to you that despite being 8 feet under ground for 6 months he’ll never give up on his hair. For the PEOPLE. Try and go through the nightmare of death and then rejected fatherhood and see if you come out of it with any hair at ALL.  An itty bitty glimpse into what would have been Untitled Mulder Abduction Story (2001)....

I Want To Believe (2008): Here you will see the sluttiest moment in major motion picture history.  Shh im not using this opportunity to show you this screenshot for the 800th time I’m trying to keep you educated.  BREAKING NEWS; Man hiding in home office for 6 years fully off the grid has FULL head of hair and is getting regular sex *not clickbait*. So what if Mulder has gone fully unhinged and off the walls bonkers he’s also gone FULL slut and it shows in that sexy thick voluminous head of slut hair.  If you ever for a second thought prior to seeing this movie for the first time that Mulder would show up a full on son-less wreck and a half think the fuck again babes.  He’s managed to hold on to every single little strand ever grown on his head even well into his middle aged madness and its about time we give him the credit he deserves.  (PS. Please know I wrote this entire spiel without even viewing the shot shown here. Its just permanently etched on the inside of my forehead so its there when my eyes roll back into my head.)  For this we say…..; Whore rights.

s11:e3 Plus One: Incase you were unaware, I have been going through a very slow and painful process of erasing Season 11 from my brain completely.  Its been a long road but its achievable and the end result will save me from a lot of future heartache and trauma.  This however, is a moment I will cherish forever and though you may think its for the hot sex (which is like maybe 30% the case) its actually because it puts together everything I’ve ever loved and believed about the show in only a few thousand pixels. How old is Mulder here? 30? 31? Still has hair and still has an unbelievable amount of love to shower Scully in for as long as they both shall live (which lets face it, she deserves one million times over.)  What this has taught me was to hang up my “Mulder deserved…” hat for good and just be thankful for what I’ve got. I ended up with no son or happy dreamy ending where Mulder gets to die with a family he’s never had in his life, but here we are left with the little things.. Like Mulder and Scully’s unconditional love and most importantly .. The hair on Mulder’s head. Its called growth and acceptance and I am learning it.  Also I just wanted to show you what it would look like if you were like 57 and sexy and still had all ur hair. That’s it :-)

#and this one i SAVED!!!!! enjoy #here at mulderspice

[spikeymarshmallows]

3, kleigo! for the kiss post! love your writing

I AM SO SO SO SORRY THIS TOOK FOREVER.

And thank you to @unrememberedskies for existing.

kissing so desperately that their whole body curves into the other person’s

For this thingo

"What are we thinking this morning? Waffles? Eggs? No, I don't feel like eggs." Klaus surveyed the contents of the fridge with a frown. There was so much green stuff.

This is what he got for going away again.

This happened every time. His work would take him away for a few weeks, he'd explore the world, eat amazing cuisines, set up new projects here, finish them there—and then he'd return and find Diego had, once again, filled their kitchen with innumerable amounts of fresh food.

What was wrong with toaster waffles?!

He stood back and rested a hand on his hip as, humming his displeasure as he took it all in.

"Fiiiine," he groused, grabbing a few things and placing them on the counter behind him. He knew how to make some of the smoothies that Diego liked. He'd just been hoping to make something a little more… well, something a little more.

He'd woken around 2, and even though he couldn't sleep, he lay there, enjoying the feeling of Diego's leg thrown over his, the warmth that emanated from him. He'd grabbed his eReader sometime after 3, and had read by its dim backlight for a few hours before finally going to shower and generally try to fill his time until Diego woke.

It probably wasn't good for the jet lag, but none of the tips for getting over jet lag had ever helped him anyway.

Diego was still asleep, which was perfectly normal, given the early hour. Klaus' body clock was still on Dublin time, and the only reason he'd managed the few hours sleep he did was because Diego had fucked him senseless. Diego was good like that—selfless, really. He always made sure to fuck Klaus until he was so exhausted he couldn't help but sleep after, and it was probably the most effective thing he could do for his jet lag now that he thought about it.

He grinned to himself.

Klaus didn't even have it in him to pretend to be grumpy about the food available to him; he was just so happy to be home. He loved his job. He really, truly did. But there was something special about being home again.

He hummed to himself. Sitting on the counter across from him, Ben rolled his eyes. Ben hated the song. Klaus grinned and hummed it with a little more enthusiasm.

"Not exactly what I had in mind when I figured I'd bring Di breakfast in bed, but, I suppose it'll have to do." He started carefully slicing up various fruits. He left all the vegetables in the fridge; Klaus may have been feeling benevolent, but even he had standards. And breakfast smoothies did not deserve to be tainted with vegetables.

He danced along with the song in his head, singing under his breath, as he slowly filled the blender.

Fruit, almond milk… What else was there? Diego liked those chia seeds too. Okay, chia seeds. What else?

Oh shit, the ice. He forgot the ice.

He started the blender, wincing at the grating sound it made as it tore through everything. He'd been hoping that he wouldn't wake Diego up, but that was probably shot to shit now.

Well, that's what he got for not having the makings of pancakes available. Pancakes were a lot quieter.

"Oh! Protein powder!" Klaus cried, remembering at the last second. He scrambled through the cupboards, contemplating the different flavours before figuring the pink one was probably berry, and would go well in the smoothie. He measured out the protein powder, and flicked off the blender so he could pour it in. After examining the vibrantly coloured drink for a moment, he decided to add some extra milk.

Across the living room, the bedroom door opened, and a sleepy Diego appeared.

"Hey baby!" Klaus said cheerfully, turning the blender back on.

He realised a second too late that he'd forgotten to put the lid back on. Diego and Ben realised, of course, but Klaus got the message after it had covered him spectacularly. Klaus fumbled to turn the stupid blender off, and in doing so, turned it up higher before managing to get it off.

Diego and he stood, blinking at each other from across the space. The room was utterly silent, but for the very faint sound of traffic outside.

Neither of them said a word for what felt like a lifetime.

Some milk dripped down from curls that fell across Klaus' face—he really needed to trim those. There was smoothie everywhere. It was cold and wet through the satin kimono he'd thrown on, and there was some on his bare chest too. At least it wasn't on his underwear, he supposed? Wait, no. No. It was on his briefs too.

Ugh. This was going to be a pain in the ass to clean up.

Diego blinked a few more times, nodded once to himself, and then disappeared back into the bedroom.

"Fair enough!" Klaus called to the closed door.

He stared hopelessly at the mess around him. Did he start by cleaning himself up, or cleaning the space up?

The door to the bedroom opened again. Diego's face was a little wild, and he crossed the living space in a few large strides.

Klaus watched him, thrown. Diego didn't seem upset, at least, but…

Diego reached out and wiped some of the smoothie off Klaus' cheek, not speaking. He brushed some of Klaus' curls away from his face. His expression was unreadable. Klaus laughed awkwardly but leaned into the touch; what else was there to do?

The hand that had been on his cheek slid down his neck, across his shoulder, down his arm until Diego gently took his hand.

And then—

"Wait, what are you doing?" Klaus asked, inhaling sharply.

Diego looked up at him from one knee, a shaky smile on his face. There was a faint pillow crease against his cheek from where he'd been sleeping minutes earlier. His hair stuck at a thousand angles, and his t-shirt and boxers were wrinkled. And… Shit.

"Diego, no, I'm covered in smoothie and—" Klaus stopped, hand pressed over his mouth. Was this really happening?

Diego raised a sardonic eyebrow before his expression melted back into something that could only be described as blind adoration. "This w-was," he stopped, cleared his throat, and exhaled before he started again. "This was absolutely not how I planned to do this. I cannot believe I'm proposing like this either. I didn't really have a plan yet, but it was going to be romantic as shit because I know you love that, and god fucking knows I love you more than anything on this planet."

"Oh my god, I can't believe you're doing this while I'm covered in smoothie," Klaus tittered. He was shaking all over, and his breath was coming in a little shorter, a little sharper.

"I was gonna write a speech too, because you know I'm not good with words. So, I'm sorry I don't have a big, fancy speech all planned out. But." Diego shook his head a little, looking back down. He opened a little black box with his spare hand, but Klaus couldn't look away from Diego's face to take it in. "But… You're my everything. Always have been, always will be. And I want to spend a forever telling you what a fucking disaster you are, and much I love every single thing about you."

Klaus hadn't even realised his eyes were stinging, or that they were filling until a few fat tears rolled down his face.

"I hate you so much right now," Klaus laughed wetly. His chest felt like it was bursting open. His fingers in Diego's were shaking, but it wasn't like Diego was much better.

The nervousness in Diego's face was fading, and he was still looking at Klaus like he hung the fucking moon. And there was still milk dripping from Klaus' curls, and another tear fell down his face.

"I know," Diego said and grinned widely. "But in spite of that—will you marry me?"

Klaus nodded emphatically, swallowing past the lump in his throat. He didn't trust himself to speak this time, so for once he didn't try to.

Diego let Klaus' hand drop, and he drew the ring from it's box, and slipped it onto Klaus' finger. The metal was cool, and heavy, and when Klaus glanced down at it, tiny inlaid diamonds caught the light and sparkled. It was simple, and despite the diamonds, quite understated, and, fuck, it was absolutely perfect. Diego had chosen perfectly.

And then Diego was standing as Klaus grasped at his t-shirt, trying to bring them both as close as possible. Klaus kissed him hard, and deep, wrapping his arms around Diego's neck and trying to say without words everything he was feeling. Diego's arms snaked around his back and pulled Klaus in so tight that his body curved to fit Diego's shape.

He was barely aware of it, but they were both mumbling how much they loved each other against the others mouth, unable or unwilling to draw away long enough to actually verbalise it.

It was desperate, and wet, and hot, and Klaus had never been so disgustingly in love. Diego pushed the kimono off his shoulders, and Klaus was able to yank Diego's shirt off too. Diego crowded him against the counter, lifting him easily so that he was seated against it. Klaus wrapped his legs around Diego's waist, pawing at whichever parts of him he could reach.

"Oh my god," Klaus got out between kisses. "You asked me to marry you."

Diego laughed. He sounded as giddy as Klaus felt. "You said 'yes'."

Klaus laughed, tilting his head back so that Diego could kiss down his neck.

"Oh my god. I said 'yes'." He grabbed as much of Diego's hair as he could, and dragged him back in for another kiss. "Oh my god, we're going to get married."

"Oh my god," Diego teased, "do you ever shut up?"

"I thought you said you loved every single thing about me."

"I do. Doesn't mean I don't wish you'd shut up and let me kiss you."

"Oh, well, when you put it—"

Diego shut him up with another kiss, and Klaus had never been happier to have been silenced.

*

"Okay, but seriously, while I was covered in smoothie?" Klaus laughed some time later, rolling his head to the side so that he could look at Diego. The marble countertop was still cold against his back, but it was soothing on his heated skin.

Diego's breathing was only now beginning to steady too. Sunshine poured through the floor-to-ceiling windows and lit Diego from behind, making it look as if he was glowing.

Diego snorted a laugh and shrugged. He groaned with effort as he rolled onto his side and shifted so they were closer, as if they hadn't just been as close as two humans could possibly be. "I just. You were there, and you're such a fucking disaster, and such a fucking idiot, and I… I just knew. I love you so much. I had to. I had to do it right then."

Klaus narrowed his eyes at him and then lazily lifted his hand up so he could admire the ring properly. He hadn't had a chance to yet, and he was once again overwhelmed with the reminder of how well Diego knew him. The tiny diamonds caught the light and glittered beautifully.

Diego moved his head to rest against Klaus' shoulder, looking up at the ring before back at Klaus' face. Klaus lowered his hand and Diego twined their fingers together. He brought Klaus' hand to his mouth and kissed the ring. Klaus smiled as Diego then moved to kiss his nose before resting his head against Klaus' chest.

"I'm not going to tell everyone the circumstances under which this occurred," Klaus said. "You were very romantic. There were candles and flowers. And it was at a nice restaurant. Or in a park with hundreds of fairy lights. And I was wearing something cuter than my goddamn underwear and almond milk."

"Did I still fuck you on the kitchen counter afterwards?" Diego teased, smirking.

"Oh yes, that part of the story can stay." He glanced to his other side at the blender, and the mess that still needed cleaning up. He huffed and turned back to Diego, curling an arm around him.

They could clean up later.

#kliego #spikey writes

[rosaetae]

the chrysanthemum effect | 1

[this chapter is apart of the chrysanthemum effect] 

☇ “Keeping your flowers, keeping your pain— it's already everything you need to move on. How do you move on from things if you're not willing to accept them?"

➣  pairing: taehyung x reader

➣  genre: hanahaki!au, model!taehyung, weddingplanner(ish)!au  

➣  word count: 3.7k 

➣  a/n: here’s the first chapter! i really hope you guys enjoy it and i PROMISE i’ll have it uploaded on wattpad too :) 

➣  summary: the hanahaki disease has become a stigma in this world where if you had it, you are looked down upon. her flowers were white chrysanthemums and they have been for the past two years. she was in love with someone who obviously didn’t feel the same way, and this was her way of moving on— along with the people in her life who had to conform around the hanahaki disease.

There it was.

The minute your eyes open, there was that annoying churning feeling that you've eventually grown accustomed to after 2 years of waking up to it every morning. The use of an alarm clock and a cup of coffee became redundant in your everyday life when that sharp pain in your stomach became the wake up call you needed, though not ideal.

These small things that you've known from waking up to the obnoxious noise of an alarm clock or even enjoying a cup of coffee with plain milk for the sole purpose of caffeine became luxuries to you.

It all became... blurry, and now you live with waking up to the discomfort and having to prevent from anything to happen afterwards.

And by that, you mean the spewing of your flowers that represent, in the society that you grew up in, foolishness, naivety, and simply what else that makes up unrequited love.

You would always try to immediately sit up straight to prevent that. And you have been doing so for almost 2 years.

The Hanahaki Disease was something, as your mother recalls, fools have. She claims that you had to be an idiot for still having feelings for someone who stopped altogether. Or just naive to think that you can be in love and not keep those lingering feelings that come awry. Needless to say when you called your mother about your diagnosis, you were an idiot in her mind, but she knew it were to be inevitable to happen when you told her about him.

Your parents have been pushing you to take the surgery since the beginning— not to mind the expenses as they wanted to pay from their own pocket, but it wasn't that you didn't wanted to take the surgery. You would have done it the minute you saw your flowers floating on toilet water that unfaithful night at a stranger's bathroom, but if it weren't for the fact that removing your flowers would also remove your memories of the one you love, then you would've undoubtedly done it.

Now, you go to check-ups once every Wednesday with Doctor Wren who not only became your doctor in helping to help you cope with your flowers, he became someone you confide to as he was also, unfortunately, one who had Hanahaki Disease albeit he took the surgery.

"I know I said we wouldn't have two check-ups this week, but can you open up Friday morning?" Doctor Wren asks as you sit up watching him type something into his computer.

"Sure," you reply smoothly, eyes scanning the clinic room. "Same time?"

"Yes. 10 AM," he nods, eyes scrunching as he clicks and types something into the computer. He's probably updating your prescriptions, or scheduling the next check up that same week. "Sorry for the last minute change, but I just want to make sure your vitals are okay since tomorrow is..."

Hearing his voice trail off, you caught his momentary glance, giving him a knowing nod. He was always cautious to particular events like tomorrow. Having to have a check up with him every week for two years, he had come to know when the most crucial dates of your life are even when you didn't tell him— you didn't need to. From finding out how fast your heart races and having to find you throwing up in the clinic's trash can when he just walked in, he knew these symptoms led to something.

"Have you been taking your medicine?"

You nod honestly. "Once every night like you tell me."

"Good," he states. You were glad he didn't peg you as someone who would lie about taking their medicine, fortunately. Maybe you missed a night or two, but that only led to the unwelcoming feeling equivalent to the feeling after chugging down a whole bottle of Hennessy, so you try your best not to skip a night. "Have they been seemingly getting worst?"

"Nope. Can't tell if it's the medicine working or if I'm just really good at swallowing them down."

Doctor Wren snorts. "Try swallowing down sunflowers. Worst thing ever."

"Sunflowers," you marvel as the image of radiant yellow paints your mind. To you, he seemed like a roses or carnations type of guy. "Why sunflowers?"

You watch as he gives your curious self a glance, raising a flashlight to indicate that he was going to flash the usual white light in your eyes and have you follow it.

"Her wedding bouquet," he says as he was midway moving the light horizontally. "Well. Supposedly. We got married in the summer. July 2015. She made it her bouquet, centerpiece, the aisle decorations," he continues, clicking off the flashlight to where you blinked multiple times and nod. "At least, that's what my friends have told me. If I'm being completely honest with you, I don't remember a thing about her."

And that, admittedly, is where it scares you.

The idea of forgetting the memories that you make. The people that you meet.

That is a choice given by divine right through the surgery of flowers that once removed, so will the memories of your loved one.

A lot of people, when the suffering becomes too much, too painful— they result into taking the surgery.

The biggest misconception of the Hanahaki Disease is that people believe that getting the surgery finally means moving on. It's not.

You remember Doctor Wren asking you after 6 months in of suppressing your flowers on "why you don't just take surgery?" And you had told him this— the reason why you're still going even after 2 years.

"Keeping your flowers, keeping your pain— it's already everything you need to move on," you state as he was injecting a needle into your arm. "How do you move on from things if you're not willing to accept them?"

Doctor Wren looks at you at that moment with curiosity. As if he was wondering what on earth happened to you to have you think such a thing.

"It's something that I thought about a couple months back," you answer to his wandering question. "I was staring at my flowers and then I thought that maybe I'm strong enough to move on from this type of pain. That I can move on and still have him in my thoughts, you know."

"Let me ask you something, ___. Why do you want to remember Taehyung so badly?"

As the sound of his name still brings butterflies, you simply shrugged your other arm, a tiny curl of your lips growing on your face. "Coming to terms on loving someone who you know doesn't love you back, to me, seems like a step of acceptance and loving yourself even when someone doesn't love you back. A bit paradoxical and confusing, but in a world where the gods find that loving someone who doesn't feel the same is foolish? I'd say my morals are the least of anyone's worries."

"I'd say your morals can save a life," Doctor Wren says. "And I, for one, hope it can save yours."

And that's when Doctor Wren felt like a soul you knew. Either in another lifetime or in a parallel universe. Just the way he is and just the way he could understand what you're going through. In the beginning, you almost felt like he was just using you for his research on the Hanahaki Disease, but finding out that he too also coughed up flowers, you knew that he was also trying to cure you. He always asked questions about you and your life, but your answer to those questions used to be open-ended and bland.

However, throughout time, he became someone you gradually opened up to, and your answers became something he took note of. Just like give and take, Doctor Wren opened up to you as well. As he asks you questions about your origin of the disease, he tells you about the post of his disease— his husband.

You watch as he unraveled his stethoscope from his neck and placed them into his ears. Like always, you remove your jacket for him so he could hear your heartbeat clearer.

As he placed the end to your upper back, you begin to breathe in and breathe out.

"What's your reasoning for chrysanthemums?"

He glances down at his watch before he looks at you for an answer to which you shrug.

"It was a book that he got me," you smile sadly. "White Chrysanthemums. He thought real flowers were cheesy."

He gives a wry grin. "Seems like a romantic."

"Oh he is," you chuckle lightly, only to have it die down in sudden realization. Doctor Wren must have caught it because he takes his stethoscope back. "Or he was... to me."

He didn't need to use his stethoscope to to hear your heart break at that single moment.

"Love, romance... whatever," he begins as he slowly stands up and walks over to his computer. "It can bring us happiness or adrenaline. Or it can brings us pain and suffering. But if there's anything that I learned from my life and yours, we need both. The universe likes to make us live in hell, but it's only to make us stronger."

You snort at him. "Did you get a degree in romance, too?"

"Associates, actually," he laughs before he's straightening up his composure. "I want you to call me as soon as something happens tomorrow. I remember last year it smelled chrysanthemums everywhere for a week. In a hospital."

Growing a tinge of embarrassment, you let out a sheepish laugh and nodded. "Yeah, well, thanks to you, I'm better at suppressing them."

"Take your medication," he says, letting his composure unravel as a notion that was the end of the check-up.

"I will."

"And drink the tea."

You throw your jacket on and jump off of the chair you at in. "The tea is the best part."

"No."

"Yes."

"The hell I am."

"Yes, the hell you are."

"No, Hoseok," you stress as you grab your bag from the counter chair along with your files for your boss to look over. "After work, I'm going straight home and taking a long nap. I'm not interested in going to a club where most people drown their sorrows through drinking and dancing."

Hoseok scoffs. "Most people don't do that at clubs."

"Let me guess, you want to take me to Mint Night. That's the number one place where broken hearts go, Hoseok. Their pipes get clogged like every other night because of the influx of petals being flushed down the damn toilet," you explain in a passive aggressive tone, rounding around the table to grab your keys. Hoseok was trailing behind you, annoyed stance and all by your objection, but when turn around, you narrow your eyes at him. "Why would you think I would agree with that?"

"Aw, come on, Sugartits!" Hoseok groans as you walk away to grab your shoes "You used to love going to the club. Come on, it's been awhile."

"When was the last time I went?"

Hoseok shrugs. "I don't know— like a year ago?"

"Wrong, idiot. It was last week to pick you and Somin's drunk asses up."

"Okay, no. That doesn't count because you weren't having fun."

"I don't have fun at clubs anymore, Hoseok. I can't even remember the last time I was having fun at one."

It was true. The last time you went to the club was for the intention of drowning away your sorrows. Mint Night was good for that— it's especially known for that. You were probably at the lowest of the low— pain and everything, but those nights were too blurry for you to recall.

Somin, bless her sweet sympathetic soul, was always the one to pick you up in the middle of the night in her pajamas.

Then that night became nights and it wasn't just her being concerned about your well-being anymore.

One night, you stumbled upon Hoseok, someone you met through Taehyung, and he was wondering why on earth you were at the night club alone. It was that moment where perfect timing seemed existent because that's when Somin found you, and though she thought that Hoseok was a harasser at first, you couldn't help notice the way Hoseok made Somin laugh (even if it was just a little bit). You'd like to pat yourself on the back for, in a way, bringing those two together. Though it's just them that makes it hard for you to actually feel successful in your weak attempt at match-making.

Hoseok didn't like labels and Somin didn't like commitment— and now they're stuck in this gray area where they're attracted to each other (obviously... since Hoseok likes to raid your shared apartment every now and then), but coming to terms on what their relationship is not apart of their so-called agreement.

And now Hoseok has suddenly grown the heart to take care of you after finding you one night with petals surrounding you, and suddenly that encounter at the night club and the constant doctor check-ups clicked.

Not that you hated him, but knowing how Taehyung and him are friends keeps you at your toes because the last thing you would want was for Taehyung to find out about your flowers. And it's not like he pities you either— he just feels that there was a moment where you were happy and he just wants you to experience that happiness again.

So, friends is where you think you and Hoseok lies— the one label that Hoseok doesn't mind.

"Well, tonight is your night to have fun! Come on, I drove straight here during my break just to invite you."

"Oh, invite me," you laugh. "Don't you have work? Like some business offer to worry about? Or, I don't know, planning a charity event you're hosting next weekend?"

Hoseok groans. "You make this difficult."

You pause and as you turn around to face his exasperation, you look at him with a teasing smile. "No one asked you to come here and beg me to go to a club to because tonight is one of those nights," you retort before he's groaning again. "Hoseok, I'll be fine. I just need some carbs and a some sleep and tomorrow everything will be okay. Stop worrying."

"It's because I worry that I'm not letting you do that."

"That's sweet. Jung Hoseok worries about me and my well-being," you surmise as you notice that you were getting on his nerve. "I think you know me enough to know that I'm capable of my own."

You give Hoseok a glance while you open the door. He had a crinkled, frustrated look and you couldn't help but snort at him. "Why can't you just go? For me?"

Giving him another smile, you shook your head. "Because I don't want to."

If you had known that you were going to have to go anyways just to pick their Hoseok and Somin's drunk selves up, then maybe you wouldn't have gone through that constant banter with Hoseok. Because when you wake up to 5 missed calls and 32 drunk messages from both Hoseok and Somin, you begin to curse yourself for not thinking that you would actually get to sleep through the night.

You're blindly grabbing at your glasses, giving yourself sight to turn on the light. It was 2 AM and here you were, grabbing a jacket and a pair of shoes to take a bus to the damn club.

Knowing Hoseok, he probably drove there again. The first time was an accident and he ended up drinking to where you were called and had to drive his car back to your apartment. The second time was just a dependent mechanism where he knew he had you and of course, you would drive down there just to make sure they got home safe.

Before, you just wondered why Hoseok didn't just call his chauffeur, but he complained about how he can't afford to be seen leaving a club with Somin and into his well known car— and abandoning Somin alone wasn't the move either.

Arriving at their usual club, Pandemonium, you wave at the bouncer who had known you for the multiple times you were here for your sake and for Hoseok and Somin's sake. He lets you in easily, and you were suddenly in a complete wake when you hear the loud music and piercing bass and the smell of alcohol in the air. It was all familiar, but no longer your cup of tea.

You'd always look at the bar first, but it was empty except for a girl who was downing a round of shots in front of her. And then the dance floor was still packed, filled with strangers who blended in with each other. And then the VIP area where Hoseok had easy access to, but knowing Somin, she probably wouldn't have gone there due to it being on the second level.

Instead of looking thoroughly in a place that made you unsettlingly queasy, you depart to the nearest bathroom, knowing the way to it with ease even your drunken mind could make its way to the closest toilet to throw up anything remaining in your stomach.

As you go in, you're, surprisingly, introduced to an empty bathroom, with the music being muffled the second the door closed behind you. You dig your phone out of your hoodie to immediately text Somin where her and Hoseok were followed by her many text messages of "pick us uppp!" or "can u pick us up pls??!1".

Texting her with annoyance because it was 2 AM and you couldn't find them the first round of gazing around the club, you were then interrupted with the sudden slam of the door and hurried shuffles of someone who was in urgency. You look up from your screen and peer at the mirror to see the same profile of the girl at the bar taking too many shots to count push at the nearest stall. It didn't take you long to realize what she needed to do by the way she clutched her stomach.

Admittedly, you were curious and you wanted to help. You couldn't stand the sound of her stomach being forced to empty itself and not one person was accompanying her to help her.

You cautiously open the stall door to see her form lurched over the toilet, throwing up her entire guts. As you near her, you realize that they weren't the unfortunate image of her lunch or bile— they were actually flowers.

They were blue poppies.

Silently, you kneel down at her height, gather the fallen strands of her dyed hair that looked red under the scarlet light and held it back as you use your other hand to pat her back gently.

This was probably a familiar sight in another's eyes. And by another, you mean Somin.

It had been two months since you and Taehyung had ended things in an abrupt and open-ended note. You and Somin were at Hoseok's that morning as he insisted you and Somin just stayed for the night of the after-party. You remember drinking an endless cup only to black out in a room by yourself, and then to wake up in the midst of the party dialing down. Jolting up from the couch, you struggled to stay steady, fighting through the people in front of you as you ran to the bathroom and immediately embraced yourself for the foul smell of your guts.

But as you began, you didn't stop. And what even came out of your mouth wasn't something you entirely expected because as you had taken a tiring pause, you blinked at the toilet bowl filled with flowers. And you thought it was your imagination, until you reached out to pick a petal up.

White chrysanthemums.

And that's where Somin comes in to see your whole body collapsed against the toilet bowl as you leaned your arm with your cheek against it. And though your eyes were barely open and everything was a drunken and nebulous haze to you, the look on Somin's face as she found you and your flowers had hurt you to the point where ever since then, it was easier to suppress your flowers to save others— your parents and Somin— pain and worry.

If there was anything you knew in your life, it was and will never be your intention to make people worry or have them get hurt. You've felt enough of that to know how it feels.

Once the stranger had finished the last wave of her flowers, you watch quietly and remorsefully at how she had pushed away from the toilet, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand.

She was beautiful even with mascara and eyeliner running. She had some glitter on her eyelids and cheeks, and her berry lipstick seemed to smudge all over her lower face, but it was no doubt you probably looked similar to that the first night you threw up your flowers.

"Thanks," she sighs meekly.

You offer her a smile. "Are you okay?"

Scoffing playfully, she glances at you with a smile. "Never been better."

You laugh along as well. "How long?"

The girl with glitter on her face fixes her posture and sits up properly against the tiled wall. "Had it for 2 months," her lips curls. "Getting the surgery tomorrow."

"Tomorrow? Shouldn't you be resting for it?"

"Nah. This'll probably be the last time I'm ever going to party depressed. Gotta make the most out of it."

You nod, admiring the girl as you held your knees close to your chest. She seems about your age, maybe a little bit younger, and so far, a little bit wiser for taking the choice to remove her flowers yet make memories of her last depressed partying.

"How about you? What are your flowers?"

To that, you scoff playfully. "White chrysanthemums. Had it for 2 years."

"Shut the fuck up," she looks at you, her stained lips parting in awe. "2 years?"

You give her a slight nod.

"You're insane," blue poppy gapes, giggling loudly. "How the hell do you live like that?"

And for awhile, you've asked yourself that exact same question. The idea of "how" and the "why" stuck in your brain— not to mention your friends and your family asking the same thing constantly. And as always, there's an answer to the question that the universe created for you and it was—

"You just live with it."

#btsbookclub #kwritersworldnet #bts #kim taehyung #taehyung x reader #hanahaki!au #taehyung ff #taehyung angst #taehyung scenarios #bts v #bts ff #bts scenarios #taehyung fanfic #hanahaki disease #taehyung #bts taehyung #i'm gonna cry once i finish this series completely #im so excited for yall to read this #let's hope it doesn't flop #tce

[waitedforgarridebs]

Radio (1994): Merrison & Williams

The 3GAR adaptation that’ll shatter your heart into a million pieces

Clive Merrison and Michael Williams were the first pair of actors to play Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson who got to dramatise every single story of the entire canon – all four novels and 56 short stories.

In 1987, Bert Coules pitched a screenplay of HOUN to the BBC, which was greenlit and produced for radio with Roger Rees and Crawford Logan as the two lead actors. As this show ended up being a great success, Coules suggested to keep the series going, and the BBC agreed – however, they insisted on recasting. Eventually, the popularity of the show led to the decision to adapt literally every single canon story, and for the first time they actually managed to successfully achieve this feat over the course of the next 9 years. The Merrison-Williams-series ran on BBC Radio 4 from 1989 until 1998.

As Williams unfortunately died way too young in 2001, he could not continue his part as Dr Watson for the series of original stories written by Coules, “The Further Adventures of Sherlock Holmes”. This sequel still got commissioned during his lifetime, and while the production team set everything on hold to wait until Williams got better, sadly this never happened. He eventually was replaced by Andrew Sachs for the last 15 stories of this series.

While Coules remained as lead writer of the show, he was supported by various other writers for this quite massive project. The adaptations of the stories are in their core quite true to the books: The characters’ lines were updated to a more modern sounding language, and filler scenes were written to expand especially the shorter, less dense cases to the runtime of 45 minutes per episode.

For Coules and his team, the Holmes stories are not primarily detective stories. They are stories about a detective – and, more than that: They are stories about a detective and his only friend. Watson isn’t considered to be a bumbling sidekick, but an actual co-lead.

(And yes, I am basically quoting Coules himself from an interview done for the “I Hear of Sherlock Everywhere” podcast, so I do not know if Moftiss nicked that pitch from him or vice versa.)

In order to stay true to every story’s essence, the writers were “imaginatively faithful” to the original cases. They would, for example, sketch out the backstory and all the inciting incidents leading up to a client’s inquiry at 221b, and dramatise a bit of the story Doyle only mentioned in passing, but never actually wrote down. Or they would invent new scenes, sometimes even new endings, whenever they thought the original version wasn’t as effective as it could have been.

The reason I am putting all of this over the cut is to make you aware of the fact that the changes in the story were all done with a purpose – in this case, to amplify its emotional impact.

Because, without this background knowledge, their changes to 3GAR appear to be absolutely devastating. Cruel, even.

Can I just start by saying that I love Merrison’s Holmes and Williams’ Watson?

Their chemistry is incredible. They breathe so much life into these two characters! They banter, they laugh, they at times even mock a particularly annoying client when said client can’t hear them – and sometimes even when they can *coughs* Killer Evans – and I regret not having listened to their entire work as of yet. 

(But that’s a good resolution for the new year if there ever was one!)

And, one thing I can say for certain: This Holmes is 100% in love with his Watson.

It is the “desperately unspoken” dynamic of TPLoSH all over again, but maybe a little less repressed. Also, Watson – again – has his three-continent-reputation to defend. They are stupid idiot boys, they don’t fucking TALK to each other, and it’s driving me up the wall, but at least they do very much consider each other family, and that is a really great step into the right direction.

That being said, do not listen to this version of 3GAR if you don’t have the time to be emotionally compromised after finishing it.

This adaptation first aired on October 26, 1994.

As mentioned earlier, the writers – in this case David Ashton – did add a bit of backstory as well as some filler scenes to stretch the episode over the entire runtime: the introduction shows how Evans shot Prescott, featuring seemingly indifferent, almost John-Mulaney-esque barkeepers, who are so very chill about the entire murder-thing happening in front of their eyes. “Oh, what is it about Friday nights, ey?”

Ashton not only gives characters like Saunders lines, but writes whole scenes just for them, and even paces longer exposition bits quite nicely by, for example, having the American John Garrideb start the explanation about the search for the third Garrideb in Baker Street, and Nathan Garrideb finish it by excitedly rambling about his impending fortune at the exasperated Saunders.

Not only pleasant filler scenes like these were added, however.

You see, there is a running theme throughout this episode: At the beginning, Holmes is quite his usual self, and mocks the concept of love, human connection, and relationships. He and Watson see a young couple in the park, the bloke teasing the girl and playfully stealing ... her ... hat ... *muffled screaching noises* ... and Holmes compares the couple to pidgeons: “The male puffs out his chest and the female runs around in circles.” Watson, as ever, doesn’t seem too opposed to the idea of having a woman in his life, and Holmes simply ends up pointing out that the couple is having their date quite close to where the gallows used to be. Charming as ever.

Throughout the episode, Holmes is confronted with the idea of love and companionship again and again, in very different scenarios, and gradually warms up to it. Which, looking at where the episode is headed – Watson realising that there is a heart behind the cold mask – is actually a beautiful thing to do, and certainly does make sense.

However, one morning Watson has business of his own to attend to. And that’s where the heartbreak sets in: In an added scene, they show Watson ring-shopping. 

(Not for Holmes, obviously. He seems to have met someone and plans on getting engaged, again. Very rude.)

So, while Holmes keeps realising that being alone all the time is not good for him, that he actually wants someone in his life, the only person who could fill this void runs around with a little box hidden in his coat pocket.

But, it gets worse.

Remember when I teased in the post about the Hobbs-Shelley-adaptation (x) that there is yet another way to include Watson’s internal realisation after getting shot? As in, neither putting it as a summary at the beginning nor at the end of the episode?

I was talking about this one.

Merrison’s Holmes, in my opinion, has the most emotional reaction to Watson getting shot. He literally panics. 

(And the fact that there are a couple of seconds of complete and utter silence after he rushes to Watson’s side really does not help!)

HOLMES: Watson, you’re not hurt! For god’s sake, say you’re not hurt! WATSON, in pain: Ugh... oh... almost worth it.  HOLMES: ... what!? WATSON: The pain. To see that look on your face. A great heart... as well as a great mind. HOLMES: Nonsense... I was merely worried about the surgeon’s bills. WATSON, bellows out a single laugh. HOLMES, tenderly: Here. L-l-let me look. WATSON: Oh no, it’s nothing Holmes. I should know it. It’s just a scratch. EVANS, groans in the background. WATSON: Did you shoot the fellow? HOLMES: No. The second shot was his also. But I laid my revolver along the side of his head. Wild West, indeed. – Watson, you are certain? WATSON: It’s just a scratch, Holmes. Honestly.

Then, Holmes first turns into the Hulk and then towards Evans, and if I ever heard a man speak through gritted teeth, then this is it.

And that following exchange features, honestly, the best non-canonical line of dialogue in Holmesian history:

EVANS: Say, what did you hit me with? HOLMES, not missing a single beat: JUSTICE!

But... it gets worse.

Evans gets arrested, and we get to see Watson and Holmes in Baker Street after the incident, where Holmes dresses Watson’s wounds – or at least he tries to, until Watson insists on doing it on his own, because Holmes is rubbish at it. Holmes then starts pacing around in the living room like an expectant father, “But is there nothing I can do??”

Watson tells him that he’d very much like to smoke a cigar, which leads to Holmes rummaging in the pockets of Watson’s coat.

And you’ve guessed it: Of course he finds The Box.

Cue: awkward moment where Watson tells him, for the first time, about his plans to get re-married.

And Holmes starts sulking, because Watson is about to leave him alone. Again.

But, it gets worse!

Suddenly, Lestrade calls. Holmes at first thinks this is about a case mentioned in passing earlier in the episode, but it is actually news about Nathan Garrideb: As you know, he didn’t take it too well that he never found a third Garrideb in Birmingham, and Lestrade now informs Holmes that Nathan got sent to a mental asylum. 

And... Holmes and Watson visit him there!

They happen to meet Saunders in Nathan’s room, who sadly ponders about the fact that Nathan was always so lonely during his lifetime, and that this isn’t healthy, and that this certainly contributed to the fact that his mind now snapped. 

Nathan eventually has a moment of clarity and recognises Holmes. After gifting his collection of bees to Holmes (...), he hopefully asks if Holmes came to tell him that he found the third Garrideb after all. Holmes, of course, has to decline, but he promises Nathan to find the man, if he exists.

But how, Nathan then exclaims in despair, can Holmes not know this! Holmes must know! He must know everything!!

So, the episode where Watson realises that Holmes does, in fact, love him, ends with an emotionally crushed and forsaken Holmes pondering about his retirement and keeping bees.

And that, my friends, is the most heart-breaking adaptation of 3GAR I have ever listened to.

#Sherlock Holmes #3GAR #Garridebs #Clive Merrison #Michael Williams #Bert Coules #History of Garridebs #Johnlock