#you make me sick!

[texaschainsawmascara]

Harley Beheading Joker x / You Make Me Sick! - Ashnikko / Salome - Jean Benner / x / Judith with the Head of Holofernes - Cristofano Allori / Gretel & Hansel (2020) / Judith at the Gates of Bethulia - Jules-Claude Ziegler / Jael and Sisera - Artemisia Gentileschi / Kill Bill Vol 1

#parallels #harley quinn #joker #you make me sick! #ashnikko #salome #judith with the head of holofernes #jean benner #cristofano allori #jules claude ziegler #artemisia gentileschi​ #kill bill #kill bill volume 1 #kill bill vol 1 #lucy liu #gretel and hansel #gretel & hansel #hansel & gretel #hansel and gretel #brothers grimm

[luxi-lilith]

You like my boots?

I could squash you like a little rotten fruit 😌👌

#ashnikko #you make me sick! #music #love #god da-umn #SoundCloud #ashnikko you make me sick!

[1000-year-old-virgin]

Ashnikko - You Make Me Sick!

#ashnikko #you make me sick! #music #2023 #SoundCloud

[motionlessomens]

YOU MAKE ME SICK !!

#mine #gif:mine #gif: ashnikko #ashnikko #YOU MAKE ME SICk! #gifset #faceclaim #underused fc #underused faceclaims #body horrow cw #body horror tw

[strawberryseeded]

#you make me sick! #ashnikko #gif #ashnikkoedit #shes sofuckign hot yadda yadda...

[good-to-drive]

Weedkiller and healing from the overturning of Roe v. Wade

This album is so healing and cathartic and I haven’t been able to stop listening to it on repeat since it came out. I don’t think I’ve ever felt so seen or understood in my entire life, and I just need some room to rant about it lol. Fair warning that this is pretty long.

When the news about Roe v Wade came out I was so angry and upset I couldn't stop shaking. I truly never thought I would live to see this happen. I felt disgusted and afraid and angry and violated, and it felt like no one cared or understood just how horrific and repulsive this is for people with female bodies. Every time I hear about another state restricting abortion rights or refusing to track maternal mortality rates or making birth control harder to access I want to vomit. I know pro-lifers think we're just being dramatic when we say these things, but it's so visceral and horrific to have your bodily autonomy taken away, to feel like you're being crushed by this huge machine that neither knows nor cares that you're a sentient being, not just a vessel. It truly gives me the same feeling that you experience when you watch a movie with body horror and gore. It's not political, it's as intensely personal as anything can be. And although I could find plenty of people expressing sadness at this situation, I couldn't find anything that captured this visceral horror and disgust that is so overwhelming all the fucking time. I felt lost and wrong, like I was less than human in this society and a fool for not knowing my place before. Like the disgust and horror I was feeling made me disgusting because no one else seemed to be feeling it. I think, like most of us with a female body, I felt that I had no right to be horrified that I was being reduced to flesh for men to use, like I should’ve already known that’s all I was.

This album did more than encapsulate and validate that horror. It wrapped it up into a little ball and took aim at it and blasted it into pieces, and left me seething mad and ready to rip the world a new one. World Eater alchemized this horror into a tangible enemy, a machine that kills for pleasure, and WEEDKILLER let me smash that machine to pieces. You Make Me Sick! let me scream to the world that I’m mad, I’m disgusted, I’m dangerous, and I’m allowed to be. Chokehold Cherry Python was like Daisy on steroids, the avenging angel returned darker and more disturbed because the world she inhabits is sicker than we knew. Worms is hysteria and numbness all at once, when the world makes you vomit until you’re dry heaving and only able to laugh at how absurdly cruel this life really is. Cheerleader let me take pride in my femininity without feigning weakness. And Possession of a Weapon made me feel like a dark, wounded goddess, my body grotesquely reduced to pieces in someone else’s chess game, but still in possession of the pussy weapon, the vagina dentata that disgusts and frightens the people who want our bodies to be pliable and abusable.

And then there’s songs like Super Soaker, Moonlight Magic, and Don’t Look At It that express queer female sexuality without shame, because even in an apocalyptic cyberpunk wasteland we’re still only human and our desires deserve to be celebrated. And Want It All, which makes me remember that however fucked up this life is I still want every last piece of it, even the ones that hurt.

The most emotional songs on the album for me were Miss Nectarine and Dying Star. Miss Nectarine is such a delicate and beautiful story about a vulnerable time of life, and so heartbreaking and moving. I think a lot of us relate to the experience of discovering a piece of ourselves that our immediate world is hostile to, and wanting to be strong enough to save ourselves and the ones we love from this reality – wanting to play hero – but being crushed and heartbroken instead. That feeling of powerlessness and heartbreak is especially visceral for me right now, wondering if I or someone I love will be put through forced pregnancy or even killed because of this new political reality I never thought I’d live to see.

Dying Star as the last track was so unexpected, but so, so necessary. It’s like this album transformed my fear and self recrimination into righteous fury, but at the last moment instead of being consumed by it I was given a chance to want something soft. To want the world to listen to me when I say “ouch”, to mourn the magic in me that was drained away even when I repressed myself and behaved like a lady and very politely asked not to be killed. To feel not just angry but hurt that even when I shrink myself and try to be what I’m supposed to be the world still grinds me under its heel. The anger doesn’t drain away – the anger is legitimate, the anger is allowed – but I’m allowed to be gentle, too. To have longing. To have a broken heart. To dream of something or someone that could soothe this pain. The legislation around female bodies is like a dying star, collapsing in on itself and creating this black hole of howling horror and fear. I have been trapped in its orbit, circling and circling the same pain, and breaking orbit might pull me apart but it’s what I truly want. At least, it is now that Ashnikko has allowed me to feel my rage and my disgust and my power and my helplessness, to own them without shame, and then to look beyond them and search for something more.

Sorry this is such a novel, I’ve just been so emotional about this album ever since it came out. The very first time I heard Ashnikko I just knew that finally someone got it. Finally there was a person out there who wasn’t forcing theirself to play nice or perform femininity in the way that was expected. Who wasn’t ashamed of being exactly who they were, feminine and masculine energies combined, expressing gender and the lack thereof in ways that I had never seen before but that felt intuitively right. And honestly this album took it even further. I am so freaking grateful that Ash released this, listening to it was a journey but it was a journey that healed my heart.

Ashnikko, if you ever read this, thank you so much.

#WEEDKILLER #Ashnikko #Possession of a weapon #dying star #chokehold cherry python #roe v wade #tw: abortion #tw: forced pregnancy #tw: death #want it all #you make me sick! #super soaker #moonlight magic #don't look at it #cheerleader #miss nectarine #world eater #worms

[confusedbutstillgay]

WAKE UP ASHNIKKO DROPPED A NEW SONG

#ashnikko #you make me sick! #I AM. SO EXCITED

[punkrock-bottom]

Splinter-looking ass born in a sewer Suck a dick then I bite, I'm a chewer

#music #my faves #ashniiko #you make me sick! #Spotify

[t-butyl]

I was so excited for you make me sick! That i straight up cried when i heard it

#ashnikko #you make me sick! #go listen!!!!!!!!!!

[itzchrissydoesstuff]

Just listened to and watched the video for Ashnikko’s new song, “You Make Me Sick!” and it. Is. AWESOMEEEE!! 💙💙💙💙💙💙

#ashnikko #chrissysaysstuff #you make me sick!

[peri]

i cant fucking believe myself

#log date.txt #you make me sick! #(no need to approach me about this im just in a mood)

[marrdemarte]

#you make me sick! #ashnikko #weedkiller #spotify #music

[andthebeanstalk]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need. #the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist. #the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28! #a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents. #they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong. #and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives. #you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead? #or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of. #no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow. #i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong. #just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

[solarockk]

thinking again about secret life and the clockers..

part 2

#what do you mean one of the last thing cleo heard was “goodbye mom” #what do you mean he cant go back home #they make me sick /pos #sol art #mcyt #secret life smp #zombiecleo #zombiecleo fanart #goodtimeswithscar #gtwscar fanart #well etho and bdubs are here too but like. for a panel #the clockers #digital art #artist on tumblr #i miss them #UGHHHHH #eyestrain

[ardeidae-e]

i was gonna post another drawing but this gave me so much needed serotonin that i want yall to have it too

#this is a redraw from that one scott pilgrim frame btw #when the trailer came out and i saw this frame i was like yeah imma skk this #i hope this makes you scream and cry on the floor like it did to me #they make me sick #help me god #bungou stray dogs #chuuya nakahara #dazai osamu #bsd dazai #bsd chuuya #soukoku #bsd skk #redraw #my art

[m40160]

#my art #signalis #ariane yeong #elster #they make me sick #ofc if the gay ship is doomed and tragic you must draw them dancing