whoaskedyou-blog

[whoaskedyou-blog]

Update :

I realized i may like talking a bit more than i do typing. Some may say it’s because I have terrible cadence and punctuation in my writings but  I think what’s working against me is patience. I want it  all out so fast it’s like I really don’t care. I also blame growing up in the texting  ERA 

EXCUSES 

So this time last year In my love life I was letting go of someone I had been seeing for some time. You know I think the big lesson that I learned here after all is that  I am many things I don’t believe I am. 

For one my intuition is popping. My Friends always say I handle things really well. I think that is for three real reasons. 

For one : I Think that I normally see things going down before they actually do. I try usually not to say anything out loud or let the thoughts linger in my head for longer than necessary because I’m trying to manifest success honey not heartbreak deceit and financial problems. 

Two: Sometimes my life is like I’ve lived that situation before or it’s as if perhaps I have gone through feelings of what’s to come before they actually happen. When I Explain this to others they feel like  i’m summoning “bad experiences my way. 

Three: Like Honestly the fact i’m alive in the particular circumstances  and able to sit down and really go through what has happened in my head gives me the peace and optimism to figure out the next steps. 

I don’t know my next direction or my honest real plans for the future I know however I am on the right path and looking forward to what the future brings me 

#Lost #life #moving on #money issues #life journal #life blog #staying sane #staying calm #staying collected #staying positive #good vibes #i dont know where to go

[whoaskedyou-blog]

Vibes -Adrian Montijo #wpb #farmersmarketwpb #wpbfood #southfloridamusicscene #southfloridamusicians #southdloridatalent #latinmusicwpb #jazzwpb #livemusicwpb #floridamusic #guitarist #greenmarketwpb #ilywpb (at West Palm Beach, Florida)

#southfloridamusicians #farmersmarketwpb #livemusicwpb #greenmarketwpb #jazzwpb #wpbfood #latinmusicwpb #southdloridatalent #floridamusic #guitarist #wpb #ilywpb #southfloridamusicscene

[whoaskedyou-blog]

How do I let them through the toll for free every-time and still end up trying to count a register at the end of the night

WAY

#way #whoaskedyou #love #unrequited #alone #abandoned #left alone #sad #missing you #not #really #just sad #how #things #turned o #out

[whoaskedyou-blog]

Running

I left it behind  welcomed peace of mind 

Had more smiles  Walked more miles  Took correction  Learned Directions  I left it behind  to fear I was blind  Made more small talk  did the pride walk 

right perceptions  some deceptions  I left it behind 

#poetry #Running #away #new #beginnings #New days #life #world #Poem #poetic #who #asked #you #Leaving #going away #Movin #moving on

[whoaskedyou-blog]

Moving on;Import ---> Export

I’m accepting maybe this isn’t the perfect person i’ve waited for my whole life. 

There’s embarrassment, regret, shame. So we’re working on detoxing that.  But ever since I made up my mind it was  time to let that go and move forward with my life somehow i’m surrounded by all these cool people. Friends potential lovers(or lusters) I’m also being very honest and open. That way everyone can understand what i’m looking for right now. Not trying to be a heart breaker because i had mine broken , that’s not my style. 

I am in the best shape of my life. Okay maybe not really, but I love how I look. I feel confident, sexy, happy more, Less scared of others opinions and more loving and tolerant of myself. 

Not going to lie that I don’t have my little episodes of insecurity or social anxiety but I try to turn it into a you tube clip. 

Import ---> Export 

Soon I’ll make these episodes into the size of a vine clip non  existent. 

I’m trying to be nicer to myself because I can’t wait for others to.  I finally bought myself some new clothes. When it comes to others I don’t think twice about buying something but for myself there seems to be this delay and overthinking of do I deserve this right now?

The answer is YES I MOTHER FUCKING DO

I had no idea where I was heading with this but In the words of Pacewon 

“ I'm getting good, I'm getting clever I'm getting things right in my life, I'm getting better I'm getting something for me, I'm getting cheddar The girls are loving me now, they're getting wetter “

#moving on #kive #heartbreak #pacewon #hurt #insecure #anxious #love again #love #friends #familysummer #june222017 #June2017 #life #is #good #experience #live #laugh

[whoaskedyou-blog]

Dear Uray 6/3

Today was interesting. I woke up as if i was in a birds nest full of feathers. Like as small as thumbelina in my queen sized air-mattress in my studio apartment in Omaha Nebraska. I had to add the last sentence for a cliche imagery effect. Last night I cried again. The same thing  and what I was going to do was wipe off my eyes and carry on in the morning. Perform my new task you  know try harder  to be a good “FRIEND”  because I need one more of these. NO shade to my friends but It’s like “Dude who are you deceiving ?” you know you’re not serving yourself in this “friendship” That began on his call (You tried to end things A MONTH AGO and he said no)  your hearts climbing another tree.  So I look to my intuition. And I felt Support, I felt a hand or many on my back. like “we got you” I went outside for today’s meditation. There was one cloud in the sky and it was misting out  from the cotton ball it had created. 

The message I received was I needed to live in my truth even though it feels hard, I mean it IS HARD though? What’s easy is pretending i’m okay and willing to go with the flow and fuck myself over. So weak and pathetic at the beckon call. SCENE

But I forgave myself and Decided to switch up the  pace you know, Drop the bass. So I decided to switch the mindset and move forward differently even if its walking on broken glass  and showing up to the castle with blood on my feet.

Discovered Xavier Omar today and boy am I shook 

#Lost Letters #Friendzoned #Love #ROmance #Moving on #spirituality #universe #Clouds #SKy #people #do #not #disturb

[whoaskedyou-blog]

Call me Elsa b**** because i’m about to let him go. 4/17

You don’t know him yet i’ll probably tell this love tale someday. But today I have a lot to say.  

2017 !!! we’re here in the flesh and my patience my beautiful patience that I had so much of is finally gone  or at least is on it’s last call so homeboy is gonna need to “proceed to the bar our out of the club.” 

I was seeing Gomez for 7 months, yes intimately and romantically without any title I  know “GIRL YOU DID THAT TO YOURSELF”  I’ll undress go ahead and flog me. 

but the thing is  I wasn’t so sure where the relationship was headed myself. 

Mini background: 

This man and I  started off  quickly we saw each other probably  4 times a week after our first date. Not always intimate infact i can count on my hand how many times we’ve been intimate( Why am i explaining this part i’m not sure but people always wanna know these details ) 

We went on dates to restaurants, cooked together, went on walks , shopping I was on cloud 9 !!!!!!! Infact what really drew me into this relationship was the connection, this man and i would sit in a bathtub naked and tell each other about our fears,goals,dreams and to me it was like 2x vulnerability(Naked in the body and in the soul)  so I started to fall ..... but I didn’t trust. 

Why not:

1.) myself : I have been in so many unrequited love issues where I was almost sure they feel the same but then it turned out I was in my head  (emotional masturbation) 

2.)security : I was rejecting guys for dates when i wasn't really in a relationship I felt like seeing someone else would be bad but i couldn't explain why ( it was because I was ready to commit to this man but he wasn’t ready to commit to me because he would have already right? like EVERYONE SAYS RIGHT?”)

Where I am now:

I have strong feelings for Gomez when I see him My day is bright when my phone lights up and it is him I smile. But i’m exhausted, giving my time and energy lighting up only to be shut off immediately hot and cold temperatures. 

He says i’m like his best friend.... great we want a relationship with your best friend right? here’s things with my best friends. We always show affection , we are in tuned with each other emotionally I can detect detachment or when one is being detached they will normally bring up the reason why that way the other person is not asking “Why are you pulling away from me?”  I can ask and tell them anything  no hesitation no pull back. 

I like this guy, but what I don’t like is spending time with someone one day who wants to be there shows love, shows affection and the next pulls away like “Get off me  man” ( he doesnt say this LMAO ) and I almost fell like confronting the issue is also harder because it’s like “we were never dating so??????” I know he probably won’t say this or maybe he wont but at least staing how i feel and where I stand will help me feel better. 

Right now this relationship is empty , no communication is at place. I’ll draw the first card stating how i feel and where i stand If he can not match the card or explain reasonably why he  can’t I will draw my deck and “game over” 

[whoaskedyou-blog]

Be mad , Be mad but I told you.

Okay so I’m just not into or here for the narrative of how to  “be in a relationship.”  You know when things aren’t  going so smooth with the person you care about and everyone is ready to tell you what  YOU did to make it not work. Like  “Did you have sex with him yet?” “Do you text him first?” “Did you ask him “what are we?” Outwardly I’m warm and loving understanding and mostly head nods over head shake so I agree and say “ yeah maybe i should've......”

 Internal me: “F all that NOISE I DO WHAT I WANT!!!” I don’t see the problem with having sex with a guy early and we both agreed and enjoyed the experience.  He wants to  blame the whole relationship not working out on the fact that i did  that gave it up early i’m sorry I don’t go to chick fil a order my number two and stare at it until i fall in love before I decide if i want to keep eating a chic fil a  Bad example?

Bad you.....

#sex on the first date #waiting #or not #who #asked you #weaskedyou #whoaskedyou #WAY #unrequited love #slutshame #slut #whore #easy #fast

[whoaskedyou-blog]

You can begin again. You are not behind. You are exactly where you need to be to get to where you want to go.

[whoaskedyou-blog]

😲

[whoaskedyou-blog]

We approval whores are people who will do anything to get affirmation and acceptance from others. We're similar to crack whores, only more dysfunctional" Read more: http://www.oprah.com/omagazine/stop-seeking-approval#ixzz4hMXkcCn6

#oprah s

[whoaskedyou-blog]

Newsflash to all boys – I say boys throughout this article because they’re not men – this is called dating. You do want a relationship. Why? Because you want the perks of a relationship – texting all the time, sharing details about the stresses of your day, relaxing together, having sex, going out to grab food and drinks, I could go on. You just don’t want that damn title.

Rachel Lytle “ An Open Letter To Every Boy Who “Doesn’t Want A Relationship Right Now”

#unrequited love #unreturned feelings #just friends #friendzone #titles #offical #boyfriend #girlfriends #dating #sex #life #hook up #fwb #friends with benefits #hook up era #hookup

[whoaskedyou-blog]

Tarot Today 4/26 - Judgement

Judgement

“Judge a man by his questions rather than by his answers.” - Voltaire

I am prudent.

Ask yourself…

Judgement speaks of people particularly when getting down to the issues.

Some people know better, others don’t.

As with the case of Adam and Eve depicted in the Judgement tarot card: Adam knew better, Eve didn’t.

Different rules for different people but remember the underlying aspect of the story and that is we all come from the same family and that is the human race.

Forgive others if they act all too human. Forgive yourself when you do the same.

Only God can judge, and if you are God, then be merciful and kind.

Now you know.

What types of questions are you going to ask today?