abbyholmes

[abbyholmes]

Just got hit by random inspiration for a later chapter of my current Justified fic. But I lack the motivation to boot the computer and actually get to writing it.

Can‘t I just beam my cute little vision of a soft chapter from my brain onto the page? Why does writing have to be so much work? Ugh

#justified #justified fx #justified fanfic #raylanboyd #boyd x raylan #yeah I am talking about my monster of a deathfic #I mean the novel that ‚I won‘t let you get away‘ has turned into BY ACCIDENT #Was inspired by a cute little TikTok #This fic is full of misery but I love sprinkling some sparkling fluff on top from time to time #somebody kick my butt and tell me to go write #INSTEAD OF RAMBLING IN THE TAGS #why am I like this #boyd crowder #raylan givens

[abbyholmes]

Buddie fans, my loves, come have a seat for a moment.

I want to have a chat, from a long time Buddie lover to you, whether you’re new or have been here a long time.

It’s okay.

I’ve been in the trenches with you. I’ve been pulling for Buck and Eddie to get together for years. I haven’t given up, even as I’ve seen other fans leave because they lost hope. I don’t blame them. The Buddie section of the fandom has been powerful and beautiful and all consuming. We’ve gone seven seasons and up until this point, not one of the two men in question was even confirmed to be queer.

But we all need to take a moment and breathe. That’s it. Stop doom scrolling for a moment and breathe in.

Good. Now hold for a moment.

And breathe out.

I’m going to get real here, alright? And you might not like everything I say and that’s ok.

We need to stop being a problem. Stay with me. I’m not saying we need to stop shipping Eddie and Buck. Far from it. I will love that ship forever. I’m not saying we need to stop our fanfics or fanart or our love for these two. Our feelings are valid. Many of us have been in love with these two for a long time. The Buckley-Diaz family is a strong unit.

Our feelings are valid and we feel what we feel. But our reactions are utterly and entirely our own responsibility.

We need to stop the bullying.

Let’s face it, many Buddie fans have also been long time bullies in the fandom. Particularly in regard to the actresses who have played the female love interests in the past. Don’t get me wrong, aside from maybe Ali, I have disliked every love interest introduced. But have we not yet learned to separate actress from character? If we are going to dislike an actress, let’s do it for a valid reason. Marisol’s actress for example is problematic. But many fans have rained hell down upon any woman introduced.

I’ve noticed this issue for a long time. But now we’re dealing with the issue being even more widespread because of Buck/Tommy. Now fans are bullying each other. The fandom is divided, even in what is probably one of the better seasons we’ve gotten (in my opinion). I need you guys to stay with me here.

Buck is bi.

Let’s say that again. Evan Buckley is bisexual. A major character on a major show on a major network, previously a womanizer and still a very masculine figure, is queer.

This is monumental. This is amazing.

But so many of you are letting your feelings about Buddie get in the way of appreciating the progress we’ve made. Especially with the reintroduction of Tommy Kinard, Buck’s love interest.

Let’s clear up a couple of things, shall we? Tommy Kinard is not Sal DeLuca. He is not Captain Gerrard. While he was part of the old 118 and definitely was in the old boys club, not only is he not the major problem, but in most cases that he’s an asshole, it can be traced back to his own secret. It’s not great, sure. But let’s look at the facts. Chimney is friends and still keeps in touch with him. Hen appears to hold no animosity and was clearly comfortable with him. In Bobby Begins, they all are friends. And clearly, Tommy has undergone a massive self-growth period. You cannot try to back up your point with inaccurate facts.

People can change. People can also be forgiven. It’s the prerogative of those involved. Enough said.

“But TK6,” you may say, “Buck should be with Eddie! Tommy is a plot device!”

Let’s set aside instant gratification culture really quick and talk about storytelling. You cannot get everything you want when you want it. You also cannot have your cake and eat it too. Buck and Eddie, if both queer, were never going to come out at the same time. Do we really want that?! Because identity is messy. Self discovery is messy. Eddie has Catholic guilt. Buck has self esteem/worth issues. Life isn’t a fanfiction. The real possibility of their relationship surviving such a transition isn’t all that high. IF Eddie is canonically queer, he’s going to have a rougher path than Buck has had.

Also, everyone is a plot device. Let’s get real. If a character doesn’t move a plot along, what’s the point? YES, Tommy is there for a storyline. That doesn’t in anyway invalidate his existence or his presence in Buck’s life.

If you want an instant Buddie storyline, visit ao3! There are amazing stories on there.

Now let’s talk about Buck/Tommy, or TEvan.

I am a long time Buddie lover. I also proudly ship TEvan. Yes, those can coexist. I don’t often multiship, but it’s a beautiful thing. I want Buddie to be endgame, sure! But I’m also okay if TEvan lasts. If they end up being endgame, will I be disappointed about Buddie? Of course. I will also be thrilled because Buck and Tommy are a sweet couple and I’m here for it.

As a queer woman, I’m happy that Buck is bi. Multisexual representation is still sorely lacking. Male sexuality that lets a man keep his masculinity while being queer? Even more so. Just take a look at the ao3 tag. Buck is emasculated in many fics. That’s why I stopped reading a lot.

We have a ship here that includes two very masculine men, who are emotionally vulnerable and exploring something new. I understand ship disappointment. But the negativity is wild. We need to stop the bullying. We need to stop the cheating storylines. We need to stop making Tommy into an ab*s*r only because we apparently can’t handle a love interest being a good person.

At the end of the day, these are fictional characters. It’s a fictional show. But these are real people. All of us are sitting here behind our screens with real feelings. We need to stop.

Buddie may one day happen. And maybe they won’t. TEvan might be endgame. They might not be. Tis the way of 9-1-1. It’s exciting, isn’t it? Waiting for something new and exciting. It was starting to get a little stagnant.

As a queer person, I’m not trying to gatekeep anyone. However, we cannot sit here and say “stop queerbaiting us!!!!” (They weren’t, we’ve always had queer representation on 9-1-1) “give us more representation” and then when they give it to us say, “NO! Not that way!”

If it was about the representation, it being Eddie or Tommy would matter a lot less.

So if you are someone using representation to shield yourself, kindly just be honest with yourself and everyone else.

In the words of our Lady and Savior Taylor Swift, “You need to calm down”.

Now, back off into the world of scrolling you go, my lovelies. Remember, keep an open mind and breathe. At the end of the day, it’s a show. But I for one will happily wait for every episode because I’m loving this.

#all of the above #ship your ships but let‘s be normal about them #fanwars are so early 2000s #I am too old for this shit #we have such great queer representation on 911 let‘s celebrate that #diversity matters #your ship is never devalued by canon #911 abc #buddie #bucktommy

[abbyholmes]

In other news, I have watched the first five episodes of Fallout and am once again MESMERIZED by Walton Goggins.

Is there any ambivalent little weirdo character in this world that this man couldn‘t make me intrigued with?

His ghoul is so interesting and feels so layered I could scream.

Honestly so so happy that the man is finally getting some wide public appreciation for his craft and more people get to see what an amazing actor he is.

(Also only Walton could manage to be low key hot as a ghoul. That man has invented weird hotness. See f.e. Boyd Crowder with a menace of a hairdo.)

#fallout prime #fallout tv series #fallout tv show #Fallout #walton goggins #fallout ghoul #cooper howard

[abbyholmes]

I. I just. Wow. Finished the new episode and am once again GIGGLING AND KICKING MY FEET.

Listen. I love the idea of buddie. Always have, always will.

But uh…the amount of CHEMISTRY between Buck and Tommy just…it‘s off the fucking charts, okay? So I guess I am a multishipper now. Would I like buddie to happen? Yeah, sure. Do I absolutely ADORE Buck and Tommy together? Hell yes.

Tommy‘s gentleness and how obviously smitten he is with our favorite idiot / golden retriever is so so cute. He seems so genuine and so willing to let Buck go at his own pace. And as I said, their chemistry is off the charts. Whoever made the decision to bring Lou back for this was a genius. Him and Oliver have a perfect back and forth and play the heck out of this storyline.

I would really love to see more of that. Let them date. Let them fall in love. Let them be HAPPY.

I don‘t think the relationship will be ‚endgame‘, mostly because Buck is Buck and 911 can‘t only have functional couples (it is a drama after all), but I hope we‘ll get to keep it for a while. It‘s such a beautiful queer storyline and I hope we get to see a lot of Buck being happy and having the chance to discover new things about himself more.

I‘m just happy, okay?

Doesn‘t mean I abandoned the buddie ship. I just turned off the engine and switched to sailing for a bit. I am enjoying the ride.

#911 spoilers #evan buck buckely #canonically bi buck #bi evan buckley #buck x tommy #tommy kinard #911 on abc #they are adorable together #Buck being happy just makes me happy #listen as a bisexual I am still celebrating the win #buddie #bucktommy

[abbyholmes]

If anyone has been asking themselves what version of ‚aged Boyd Crowder‘ I imagined in my „I won‘t let you get away“ fic: Those new promo pictures of Walton Goggins for Fallout in Men‘s Health come pretty close. Especially the one in the jeans look. If you imagine him a tad skinnier and with a more Boyd-ish haircut.

I know nobody‘s been asking themselves, probably. But I just needed to drop the fact nevertheless.

#boyd crowder #justified fic #boyd x raylan #walton goggins #fallout prime #goggster once again looking the perfect combination of ‚hot af‘ and ‚a menace to society‘ #like honestly it‘s a look

[abbyholmes]

I needed a couple of hours to sort through my thoughts about 7x04 - because I was busy screaming, crying, kicking my feet giggling - but now I just gotta say, before I dive into any details: I AM SO INCREDIBLY HAPPY.

As a bisexual myself who realized she‘s always been bi at the ripe age of 30 and after already being very married to the very male love of her life (which wasn’t at all changed by the realization), seeing bi characters having their ‚oh‘ moment later in life than in their teens is SO VALIDATING.

I love how yes, there have always been hints and it makes sense for the character but they actually gave Buck the space to find out this new thing about himself. They showed an adult man figuring this important part of his identity out when he was ready for it. Without it being induced by trauma or relationship troubles. That is so so so meaningful and so so so beautiful at the same time. I legit CRIED LIKE A BABY watching Buck‘s face go ‚oh I see‘ after the kiss. He just landed in his body as the penny of truth dropped and he seemed so content it made me squeek. I love seeing our golden retriever carving his place out in the world and discovering how to fully embrace all of himself.

And I love he gets to do it with Tommy.

Yes, I am a buddie shipper and that hasn‘t changed. However, whichever way the show moves now, bi Buck means the world to me. And the way they are telling the story with Tommy in a gentle, realistic way, I hope we get more of that. Hell I even really like their vibe together. Tommy seems like he‘ll be okay holding the hand of a baby queer and help him dip his toe into the water. Wherever that leads, it was a genius decision to introduce him to Buck‘s story.

Now for the details:

This episode wasn‘t only beautiful, it was also hilarious. THE TOP GUN REFERENCE HAD ME HOLLERING. At that point I knew some queerness was gonna happen because you don’t make the queerest reference in movie history without reason. Also absolutely loved the sewer conversation (hooray for Ravi by the way, I missed that little dude) and the emotions Buck goes through during the conversation.

Buck‘s jealousy is as stupid as it is adorable and I have to say I did find Eddie the slightest bit unfair. He knows Buck has abandonment issues and still doesn‘t register that he might need some reassurance. Yes okay, I get he wanted a little payback for the Nathalia ‚she sees me‘ bs, but come on, Eds, cut the poor man some slack.

The acting in the episode? Chef‘s kiss. Oliver was amazing, but I don‘t see Lou getting enough credit. He already planted his visible interest in Buck in 7x03 nicely in that one tiny interaction at the end and he really delivered on the flirty banter in this episode. Oliver, meanwhile, has done such a great job at showing the gradual change in Buck and the nervousness and the curiosity and hopefulness it tugged on all of my heartstrings. Deserving of an Emmy-nom. Great Job, loved every second.

Maddy and Chim very also amazing in the ep, especially Chim clocking immediately why Buck really brought him to basketball. It‘s gonna be interesting to see their reaction to Buck‘s truth - if he‘s ready to share it yet.

The only thing that bugged me was that Athena‘s storyline felt very rushed. I liked the theme and I think it hinted at important conversations, but it resolved the conflict too fast and too easy - making said issues seem smaller than they are. I struggle to believe that they would let a POC kid off the hook that easily. I wish this was realistic, but I doubt it is.

Bachelor call was great, loved gossipy Josh (by god, I want more Josh, I love that goofball) and Chim going full fanboy.

Can‘t wait for next week and hope we get more Hen and Bobby there! I missed them this ep.

I am so excited to see where Buck‘s story arch will go next. I‘ll explode with happiness if it slowly drifts towards buddie, but I won’t be mad if it doesn‘t happen or if it does happen and the show takes its time to get there. A slow buildup for this would be chef‘s kiss and I have a lot of trust in ABC and the writers that this is how they will do it, if Buddie happens.

All in all: Favorite episode of all the series for me, worthy 100th episode, will watch a billion times, made me all warm and fuzzy and giggly.

#911 spoilers #evan buck buckely #bi evan buck buckley #bi evan buckley #buck #911 s7 ep4 #911 tv show #911 on abc #911 abc #buck bothered and bewildered #this is the bi rep I am rooting for #love how much bi rep is currently happening in fiction #if we get something similar for the bi girlies somewhere I‘ll be so happy #we won people we won #canonically bi buck #2024 the year that you are #I spend the majority of the week in hospital and this was just the pick me up I needed #GOD I AM SO NOT NORMAL ABOUT THIS #buddie

[abbyholmes]

Sometimes I scroll over my own tumblr blog and marvel at it’s chaotic weirdness.

Random fandoms and blorbos and ships all mashed together in a dash full of rants and next to zeroooo interaction.

I‘ve been on this hellsite more than ten years and still have no idea what on EARTH I am even doing here.

(Staring at other people‘s cooler content, mostly)

#what should I tag this #if you like the same blorbos and want to talk ping me #I never even get asks #like how does one even #I had a weird day and my brain is asking me weird shit #nevermind

[abbyholmes]

Not sure if anyone has already made that comparison (probably not, because this is oddly specific), but Jake Gyllenhaals take on Dalton in the Road House remake reminded me A LOT of Justified‘s Raylan Givens. If Raylan was a retired UFC fighter instead of a Marshal that likes to outdraw criminals, that is.

But hear me out: Gyllenhaal and Olyphant both not only have complicated surnames, they also both play silent rage in a very interesting way.

Both their Dalton and Raylan are obviously constantly furious and only ever one poke away from violence. They both cover that up with humor, smirks, indifference and coolness. Both think themselves assholes but try to force themselves to stay kind of righteous. And they both get very scary when they lose their shit. There is also a notable fear of their own darkness in both of them. Even Dalton‘s dialogue feels very Raylan-esque sometimes.

Not sure what point exactly I‘m trying to make here, but there is no way the Road House Remake writers didn‘t watch Justified. I‘m also pretty damn sure Gyllenhaal was inspired by Olyphant‘s Raylan. There are too many similarities in the way they both build their characters for this to purely be coincidence.

Found Road House pretty enjoyable btw. It‘s dumb and over the top, but it‘s also a lot of fun.

And uhm…my female gaze found a lot of enjoyment in the whole shirtlessness of it all.

#justified #Raylan givens #road house #road house remake #timothy olyphant #jake gyllenhaal #a new favorite asshole has entered the chat #silently angry characters fascinate me I‘m sorry #justified fx

[abbyholmes]

That Bathena moment when they nearly drowned?

When I tell you I SOBBED…

I have yet to get through a single season of this show without ugly crying at least once.

#911 spoilers #911 on abc #911 season 7 spoilers #911 7x02 #I was legit scared for a second they were going to kill Bobby #his confession broke my HEART #please don‘t give this poor man any more ptsd #the way Athena calmed him down was so beautiful #Angela and Peter the actors that you are <3 #rest of the episode was great too #but whoa that opening emergency is so much better than the last season one‘s

[abbyholmes]

Boyd Crowder + jacket ↳ requested by @clogginbloggingoggin

#justified #the way he looks up at Raylan in that fifth gif is absolutely INSANE #the way Raylan smirks back at him in even more insane #look at them eyefucking during an arrest #they are in love your honor #boyd crowder #raylan givens

[abbyholmes]

Ok so I just finished the new episode and I need to be unhinged about it so I took notes while I watched and I will dump them here because I can.

First: WE‘RE BACK BABY 💕

I missed the show and all the characters so so so much. And that was such a really good first episode, loved every single second.

Now for the unhinged notes part:

- „Did she win the Oscar?“ „No she didn‘t“😂😂😂 I fucking CACKLED

- „I had to abandon ship“ pilot not knowing where he is and being g goofy about it 😅

- „My husband is stuck in his chair - which is not unusual“

- Why the pilot so hot?

- Flashback to first Buck & Eddie bomb scene

- Captain Hen <3

- „To be fair you had JUST DIED“ How he smiles but there is some underlying sadness there, prime acting, Ryan!

- THE HAPPY FACE FROM EDDIE WHEN BUCK SAYS THEY SPLIT UP

- BUCK‘S IRRITATED FACE WHEN EDDIE SAYS HE HAS A FIRST DATE

- Eddie shamelessly shirtless and Buck looking ever so slightly flustered

- Madney pact against resentment & for dating & keeping things fresh <333 and them immediately overdoing it with A SPREADHEET

- Bathena dancing and Bobby being absolutely SMITTEN with his wife

- LOLA AND NORMAN PETERSON AHAHAHAHAHAHA this shit had me roaring with laughter. Lola was one of my all time favorite idiots from a call.

- So many Josh interactions <3 I really love him, such an underrated character. He and Maddy have such a fun back-and-forth

- Underlying sexual tension HAHAHAHAHA you mean like Eddie and you, Buckeroo?

- Casanova Christopher wtf, but love that he is a bit bratty for once, that kid was too perfect. Also love how Buck kind of fails at his conversation with him. Like what was Eddie thinking? That man is a dating Desaster. A dating trainwreck. A dating fallout.

- „ I don‘t know where he gets it from. Not me. I married the first girl I ever dated.“ „I think you mean slept with.“ Damn, Buck, sick burn.

- „ I AM A NESTER, I NEST“

- „I don‘t want him to end up like, you know…“ „Like me.“ „You didn‘t end up like you“ This is so much top tier banter I AM LIVING FOR THIS SHIT ❤️

- Bobby going to cruiseship AA mainly for relationship advice xD

- WHY VIAGRA DUDE SO HOT

- WHY VIAGRA DUDE GF SO HOT

- „Where is he stuck, ma‘am?“

- Buck looking at Eddie SMITTEN when Eddie helps with the Jello exercise

- „IT‘S A GIFT“ had me cackle yet again

- „She left us […] I can‘t remember her voice anymore“ 💔😭

- Bobby‘s „list of activities“ 🥹💕 He‘s such a golden retriever my god

- „Pizza is always okay“ (PREACH, Chris!)

- THE HOT TUB I AM SCREAMING. Chimney can‘t not react to weird things on a call a single time and I love him for it

- Female boat captain YASS GURL

- That random ass smuggler plot is so cheesy but it‘s kind of fun

Felt like there seems to be a smidgen of a buddie chance in the air but I also love them as „just“ friends. Their interactions are so fun.

And almost other character were so on point <3

Hoping for Henren in the next episode and for Bathena making it off that boat and fixing Athena‘s weird fear of relaxation.

Fantastic start into the season, she ate and left no crumbs I am in AWE 🥰

#911 on abc #911 abc #911 s7 #911 season 7 #911 spoilers #911 season 7 spoilers #buddie

[abbyholmes]

This week on „Fangirl in her 30s is THRIVING“:

- Fallout Trailer looks delicious, Goggins has me on the edge on my seat already

- Goggins teasing in an interview that yes, maybe, there might be a chance for more justified, WITH HIM AND TIM (I am VERY unhinged about this)

- Cillian Murphy finally winning an Oscar after I have spend YEARS telling absolutely everyone that he is the greatest fucking actor I have ever seen

- Robert Downey Jr. finally getting as Oscar after I spend YEARS telling people he was more than ‚just‘ Tony Stark and has been deserving of recognition since Chaplin

- Da‘vine winning an Oscar for a performance that had me sobbing on a plane

- Ryan Guzman and Oliver Stark igniting the Buddie-Fandom to a bushfire of hope

- Oh and I also saw Derek Klena on Broadway as Christian in Moulin Rouge and fell in love with him instantly

I will never stop being unhinged, it‘s way too much fun.

#weird list of fandoms incoming #buddie #911 on abc #justified fx #justified primeval #justified #fallout prime #fallout #Walton Goggins #cillian murphy #rdj #Oppenheimer #the holdovers #Derek klena #moulin rouge #Fangirl life best life #I have work after holiday tomorrow but the blorbos will keep me happy even back in corporate purgatory

[abbyholmes]

ABC just has way better PR people than Fox.

Just saying.

#buddie #ryan guzman #my sweet summerchilds they didn‘t let him off the leash they TOLD him to throw a match into the fandom #genius #as a pr Person I applaud them #as a shipper I still eat that shit up #platonic or not they are in love your honor #deep male friendship is also important #still want to believe in the ship becoming canon though #ah the insanity of each new season #we‘re back in the building again #911 season 6 #911 speculation #911 on abc

[abbyholmes]

Uhm.

I hadn‘t checked on an old suits fic of mine - that still lacks its penultimate chapter, because I suck at endings - and somehow, the thing amassed over 500 kudos?!?

Last time I checked it was like 200?

I have NO IDEA what happened there but this feels kind of wild.

So…uhm…if any of you lovely people out there have recommended ‚Can I lean on you‘ to anyone…thank you. Seeing people enjoying this makes my writer heart sing 🥹

#suits #marvey #can I lean on you #I never got this many kudos #what is happening #this feels insane to me #I usually write within niches of dead fandoms so this is huge for me #thank you readers

[abbyholmes]

Also not a huge fan of the whole breakdown fixation. I do get the appeal, but Buck has been to therapy and he has grown over the years so I do not feel like he ‚needs‘ a mental breakdown over past trauma to develop further as a character or as a person.

I wouldn‘t hate a storyline such as this but I disagree with the part of the fandom that feels this is an absolute need.

(Fine to disagree though, I feel all takes are equally valid.)

I really don‘t know why y‘all want to cling to the idea that people need to have a mental breakdown to realize things about their own sexuality.

This is not how discovering your own queerness works in most cases.

Hell, my coins dropped for good (after years of admitted bicuriosity) when I caught myself manically crying over an episode of Heartstopper because my brain went ‚oh my god this is me, I am bi and have always been bi and I didn‘t just want to be like that girl back in 8th grade I like liked her and other girls oh my god‘. But I just cried for like 20 minutes, then I told my husband a couple of days later who (praise him) reacted very supportive and chill and that was that.

It made me more content in my own skin but I didn‘t need a fucking TRAGEDY for it.

Sometimes coins drop casually and without a lot of noise.

If it happens for Buck, I‘d love his „oh“ being of the more realistic variant.

#buddie #911 on abc #911 abc #911 s7 #911 speculation #evan buck buckely

[abbyholmes]

I really don‘t know why y‘all want to cling to the idea that people need to have a mental breakdown to realize things about their own sexuality.

This is not how discovering your own queerness works in most cases.

Hell, my coins dropped for good (after years of admitted bicuriosity) when I caught myself manically crying over an episode of Heartstopper because my brain went ‚oh my god this is me, I am bi and have always been bi and I didn‘t just want to be like that girl back in 8th grade I like liked her and other girls oh my god‘. But I just cried for like 20 minutes, then I told my husband a couple of days later who (praise him) reacted very supportive and chill and that was that.

It made me more content in my own skin but I didn‘t need a fucking TRAGEDY for it.

Sometimes coins drop casually and without a lot of noise.

If it happens for Buck, I‘d love his „oh“ being of the more realistic variant.

#buddie #911 on abc #911 abc #911 s7 #911 speculation #like I love me a good dose of drama #but can we be normal about people discovering their queerness #No offense to the breakdown manifesters #just wanted to point out we could also get a quiet and peaceful realization storyline and it could be beautiful #evan buck buckely #Buck #evan buckley #bisexual evan Buckley

[abbyholmes]

ATHENA AND BOBBY REALLY CAN‘T HAVE NICE THINGS FOR FIVE FUCKING MINUTES, HUH?!?

#911 speculation #911 s7 #911 s7 teaser Trailer #911 on abc #911 abc #I KNEW the cruise would end in catastrophe